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dollymoon · 8 months

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🍄Mushroom Oasis - Mychael Facts Compilation🍄

A facts compilation of Mychael from Mushroom Oasis by @deerspherestudios.

All of these come from what they’ve replied in their tumblr! I write these down as the creator, Cheea, has stated them with a few changes/summarizing in some for easier reading.

There may be some light minor spoilers a tiny bit here and there!

The 1st half will be general Mychael information and then the 2nd half with be more Mychael & MC information.

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💚Here’s a NARRATIVE PLAYLIST [by Cheea] based off Day 1 of Mushroom Oasis and a MYCHAEL PLAYLIST [also by Cheea], if you wish to listen to them while reading~💚

💛What made you want to write such an empathetic and slow burn kind of Yandere? [Source 1 & 2] initially it was gonna be a snail monsterman who steals crops out of your back garden and you go out to bonk him on the head only to invite him into your home. Maybe in the future i'll work on the snailboy dating sim </3

But I think I’ve always wanted a cryptid-like yandere for the gamejam when it all started. It was a very barebones concept about a lonely mushroom man who sets up spore traps in order to ensnare and kidnap company. It was supposed to be way creepier and invasive as a oneshot thing, and was never meant to have multiple days in the story. I’m glad I didn’t go in that direction, though. I’m having more fun fleshing out Mychael’s character.

So when I started Mushroom Oasis, I wanted to go for a strangers-to-lovers scenario, instead of starting out with the yandere already smitten with the MC. That way, he gets to know you at the same time as you getting to know him. Hence, the attempt at slow burn haha. I just thought it’d be interesting to try and express it differently. I don’t know if I’m able to execute my intentions well but I’m doing my best! it's gonna be fun writing him as he starts to spiral :-3c Laddie doesn't know what attraction/attachment feels like. Woe be upon ye

💛Was Mychael always going to be named Mychael, or did he have other names upon his initial creation? And does he have a last name? [Source 1 & 2] Always been Mychael! Lorewise he has a different name but MC wouldn’t be able to pronounce it, so he goes by Mychael. And he doesn’t have a last name :-] He’s just Mychael!

💛What species is Mychael? Is he a faerie? [Source] As much as everyone calls him faefolk, he isn't! He's more… monster-oriented I suppose? Creature or cryptid-like. I'm not sure what to categorize him tbh hahaha.

💛Is Mychael over 18? [Source 1 & 2] Oh he’s WAY over 18. He’s way older than he looks.

💛What’s Mychael’s Height? (Dolly’s note🌹): So initially, Mychael’s height was 5'8 but then Cheea said “Mychael is 5'8 (172cm) in the demo! I just wonder if I should've made him a big boi since the beginning but i held myself back 😔” But they didn’t want to make the decision just themselves; thus they made a poll to keep Mychael as is, or to make him taller, taking into account the fan’s wishes as well. The one that won was making Mychael taller. (54.5% vs 45.5%).

And thus Cheea decided his new height would be 6'2. Cheea also added “I think it’s a fair balance since taller Mychael won the majority vote, but a vocal few really liked his original height, so I decided to go in the middle <3”

So yeah his current height is 6’2 (187cm approximately).

💛His sexuality and gender Identity? [Source] He identifies as male with he/him pronouns. And I’ve decided panromantic asexual fits him best! I just don't find him being too sexual tbh. Graysexual at best. Feel free to interpret it differently.

💛Are you okay with NSFW art of Mychael? [Source] 50/50? I’m an adult and so is he as a character. I’d say I wouldn’t mind as long as it’s properly tagged and only the right people have access to it 👍I will not share it on my main blog though but tag it as ‘mushroom oasis nsfw’ or something so people can blacklist it.

💛Mychael’s Headcanon voice? [Source] Jonathan Groff! Particularly his role as Kristoff in Frozen.

💛Can he sing like how Kristoff does in frozen? [Source] I’d imagine he could! He’s not much for singing though, he’s more likely to hum random tunes throughout the day.

💛Are Mychael's scleras just black or is it like a void/empty socket? [Source] He just has black scleras!

💛Does Mychael have tear ducts in his lower eyes? [Source] They do!! The lower eyes basically work like regular eyes, just smaller below his main ones. They can blink independently of each other too.

💛How does Mychael see if he leaves only one pair of his eyes open? It forms a blind spot but depends on which pair he closes! He sees 90% out of his upper eyes and 10% out of his bottom half. His ability also relies on eye contact, so by having both sets locked onto someone else's gaze the influence is stronger. And here’s an illustrated example!

💛Can Mychael see in the dark? [Source] Yes he can see in the dark; his eyes have that tapetum lucidum layer that reflects light in the dark, so they also glow :-)

💛What's Mychael's skin texture like? [Source] Almost human but you can tell something’s different. Eerily smooth, despite his rough palms. If you pinch his cheeks or poke his sides enough times (if he doesn’t get mad at you for it) you’d be able to tell his skin’s a bit thicker than yours. Also like fungi I imagine his skin has chitin. So a bit tougher maybe.

💛Are Mychael's horns and tail soft and fragile like an actual mushroom? [Source] If you mean the shroom-like caps on his head and tip of his tail; soft but definitely not fragile. Think of those cheap squishies with some give but bounce back pretty quick! They’re susceptible to bruising too.

💛Is Mychael’s tail poisonous? If not, how would Mychael react if someone bit it? [Source 1 & 2] Nop it isn’t poisonous. And like… a straight up bite out of it?? Or a nibble??? If you bit him so hard it takes a piece of his tail it’d hurt and bleed a lot. It’s full of nerve endings but will heal over and regenerate eventually.

If it’s just a nibble you’d just taste dirt and bitterness I think haha. And depending on how close you are to him, he’d either be flustered beyond belief or just downright very uncomfortable hahaha.

💛Is Mychael’s blood blue because some irl creatures have blue blood due to their blood having copper instead of iron or was it for aesthetic reasons? [Source] It was definitely for aesthetic purposes more than anything, since I wanted him to blush a non-human color. One of the earlier concept sketches had him blushing bright magenta haha.

💛What does Mychael smell like? [Source] I’d describe it as freshly cut grass with a hint of log fires. Like camping in summer if that makes sense.

💛Does Mychael purr? [Source] Since im honestly a sucker for the purring trope i'll say hell yea tbh hahaha. His would be a really low rumble I'd imagine. He can also occasionally let out a low trill or those ‘mrrp’ sounds when he’s caught off guard or surprised but it's rare since he's real embarrassed when he does it.

💛Is Michael ticklish? [Source] Considering he’s never been tickled before,,, I think he’d go into shock if you did that to him💀 But to answer your question yeah I think he’d be the most ticklish person you’ve ever met haha. He’s either gonna accept his fate or go down fighting😔

💛Does Mychael snore in his sleep? [Source] He’d be a pretty quiet sleeper I think!

💛Does Mychael get sick? Since he’s not human, he doesn’t get sick like we do:

He’s aware we call it being sick, but his term is ‘feeling withered/wilted.’

He doesn’t have a temperature, but his skin turns pale and blemished like a diseased plant, and gets kinda slimy and cold like a frog’s. Here's a visual of how he looks like sick.

No energy, no appetite, barely talks. Very zombie-ish.

He gets real drowsy and dazed and the only thing to motivate him is seeking out warmth.

He just needs sunshine and sleep to get better so you’d find him laying out in the sun during the day and hiding away in blankets at night, sleeping it off. He only eats once a day, since his body needs rest rather than sustenance.

He gets sick like... once every few years that's how rare it is but when it happens it knocks him out for like a week </3

💛Does Mychael fear metal? What phobias does he have? [Source 1 & 2] No, he doesn’t fear metal and iron wouldn't hurt him! His phobias/fears are: snowstorms, thunder/lightning and water wells. In no particular order :-) (Oh, and trains/train whistles.)

💛Does Michael have any food that he hates? [Source] Anything spicy! He can handle some spice, but anything that gives heat on your tongue he’d definitely be put off since it makes him physically ill.

💛Mychael's life cycle: [Source] His life cycle is very different from a human’s.

💛Does Mychael have his own languge? If so, what does it sound like? [Source 1 & 2] He actually has his own language, but speaks in English (or your own language if you’d prefer!)

His language sounds very animalistic; a lot of growls, hisses and clicks. It’s like hearing a cat verbally communicate with those sounds. If you guys are familiar with Toki Pona, (here’s a video for reference.) the simplicity is very similar in terms of vocab and sentence structure. Considering the limitations of those same growls, hisses and clicks, plus how little he communicates in his own language, it’s not a complex system but he speaks it regardless. He wont be speaking it in-game hence why im okay answering the question.

💛Can Mychael read? [Source] Yep, he can read! He talks about it some more in Day 2.

💛Can Mychael swim? [Source] He’d be able to swim, yeah.

💛How much does Mychael know of human customs/cooking/inventions? And does he like/dislike some of them? [Source] He knows enough to make a living for himself. He’s really into DIY and crafting, but if anything gets more complex to the point it goes over his head- he’d just abandon it. As for human customs he knows even less; it’s kinda touch and go what he does and doesn’t know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ For example, he's seen cars and phones but doesn't understand how they work. Traditional stuff like crafting/cooking/gardening is easier for him to grasp.

💛Does Mychael have any religion/belief? [Source] I’ve played around with this concept in my head! I did want to explore a unique kind of religion/belief Mychael has but,,, eventually I kinda settled on the idea that Mychael broke off from that way of thinking? Or something like that. It can be accepted that he used to have a religion- or never had one to begin with. it's a tricky subject for me anyway </3 But feel free to have your own interpretation!

💛Does Mychael have any superstitions? [Source] His biggest superstition is respecting the forest and whatever happens in the forest, stays in the forest. (That is until you came along and made him break his own rule. Whoops.)

💛What's Mychael’s wardrobe like? [Source] He’s not much for fashion; as long as he thinks it’s practical and comfortable he’d wear it. He wouldn’t be a fan of clothes that’re less weather-resistent though, since he clearly needs stuff that could stand the wilderness.

He doesn’t accessorize much either, preferring to keep simple and be as drab as possible to attract less attention. But I think he’d love to try nail polish :-)) He has a lot of hats and scarves though.

💛Would Mychael be willing to wear a dress? [Source] I’d like to think he’s tried em before! He kinda had to scrap by when it came to clothes so he wouldn’t be picky in his early days.

Nowadays, he probably thinks they’re nice to wear but impractical for his daily chores, so he mostly sticks to tops and bottoms. But he won’t be opposed to it.

💛When did Mychael start knitting and why? [Source] He’s been knitting for a few years, so he’s kinda advanced. As for why, he finds it relaxing especially after a long day, and usually does it before bedtime. Plus he just loves being bundled up in warm things in general.

💛What is Mychael's favorite thing to knit? [Source] His favorite thing to knit are beanies!! :-D

💛What are other craftsmanship does Mychael do? [Source 1 & 2] He’s tried out woodworking, sculpting, candle-making, pottery etc. Knitting just happens to be his favorite of all the things he’s tried haha. Assume Mychaels an expert at gardening too!

💛Does Mychael ever overwork himself to the point of almost passing out? [Source] He definitely used to! It’s not easy making a living out in the wilderness; especially when he only had himself to rely on. Thankfully he doesn’t need to go through that anymore; he’s made a pretty nice home for himself since then. He's been thru a lot. Sopping wet cat energy.

💛How long has Mychael been in his home/cabin for? [Source] Previously he’d wander around like a nomad before finding himself a home. He’s only settled down into his cabin in the woods for a few years, it’s still a work in progress by his standards.

💛Does Mychael like stargazing? [Source] He’s more of a daytime person tbh! At night he’d prefer to stay cozy indoors. When you spend half your life sleeping outside in the cold. You don't miss it much despite the pretty lights in the sky.

💛What kind of music does Mychael listen to? [Source] Hm! He rarely listens to music, so he doesn’t have a preference tbh. If he had to choose- Perhaps something more upbeat and dancey since it’s a nice change from the quiet, but only for short periods. He’d probably enjoy whatever you’re listening to if you give him the chance :-)! Lyrics don't matter as much to him. He'd just enjoy it based off the sound.

💛What are some of Mychael's favorite scents? [Source] Top 3 would be the smell of old books, honey and (strangely enough) gasoline??? But the last one is soso rare for him he finds it exciting when he happens to catch a whiff, even if he has no idea what it is haha.

If you happen to be the type to wear perfumes/scents, he’d quickly associate the smell with you and have it be another one of his favorites :-)

💛How would Mychael react if he found a lost child in the woods? [Source] He’d be surprised for sure. His part of the woods is pretty untouched by humans, so to find one wandering this far is definitely a shock to him. If the kid was too scared to let him approach, he’d have to use a tiny fraction of his ability to calm them down, so as not to leave any side effects (younger minds are more vulnerable to it). If the kid wasn’t scared and asked if he was some sort of woodland fae/goblin creature, he’d go along with it and say he’s come to rescue them.

After making sure the kid is alright, he’d either try to find the parents straight away or bring them home if they needed food or rest. He wouldn’t dare adopt a child willy nilly, and if there was no other way, he’d probably drop them somewhere like a police or fire station (he can’t really differentiate between them, just that they respond to emergencies).

Overall he’s not opposed to being around children, just not used to it.

💛I see Mychael as a very docile and friendly creature- but in the 3rd ending of the game "Playing Pretend" left me with a doubt... Would he really be a bad guy? [Source] You’re not wrong! Mychael’s not the most violent, even if he is capable of it. In Ending 3 he just… panicked. Though don’t underestimate the things he’d resort to when he realizes how attached he’s getting to you :-)

He’s calm and composed… until he isn’t.

💛How many creatures/people has Mychael found "affected" by those mushrooms that the MC came across? [Source] You’re not the first, that’s for sure! He definitely knows about them, but finds it unnecessary to tell you (at least for now). He was quick to dismiss your doubts on how you lost consciousness, giving you an easy explanation even if he had to lie.

Most of the time he lets the incapacitated creatures be; “it’s the will of the forest,” after all. Although he does break that rule when he finds humans that’re still alive (in this case, you!) in his forest, but that’s very very rare.

💛How would Mychael act if MC introduced him to their friend? MC told their friend that Mychael wouldn't hurt them but the friend is still a little scared and weary of him. [Source] Definitely wary of them too. He kinda trusts you, but can he trust them? He’s met his fair share of humans; not a lot of them were as accepting as you. He can try to lower his guard but your friend would need to convince him themself.

💛Mychael & MC in Day 1 of the game. [Source] Mychael, as a person, is quite solitary in nature; he likes being alone and you’ll find out why. He does however desire company and he’s only realized just how pleasant having someone around can be (hence his reaction for the Bad Endings in Day 1 if you wish to leave/run away).

You grow closer to Mychael as you hang out with him and do little things that he appreciates. Example: The first thing that boosts you to immediate friend status is your willingness to accept his physical looks, something that’s never happened to him before. Little things like that mean a lot to him and motivates him to prolong your stay.

If Mychael met a more grouchy/mean MC on Day 1 he’d probably not be as attached. He’d just save you, feed you and send you home when you ask hahaha. Of course, this will change as he gets to know you better, at that stage he’ll be willing to overlook your flaws like any upstanding yandere.

💛How would Mychael react if the player character was already in a relationship with someone else? [Source] At his current attachment in Day 1 [Friend status], he’d be respectful about it! A little overprotective but mostly curious what dating and marriage is all about. He’s not familiar with it outside of whatever knowledge he happened to pick up.

Now if he’s grown obsessed developed feelings and found out afterwards though…

💛Can you date Mychael in this game? Or not? [Source] I mean that's the goal! ¯_(ツ)_/¯ If his responses in asks currently give off a platonic vibe, that's because they are.

As of Day 1, Mychael's feelings towards you are positive but mostly platonic [Here's a visual affection level chart]. His bad endings show his desperation for company rather than you reciprocating any romantic feelings.

As I update the game, his responses will most likely be more romantically-driven. The game is a slow burn after all :-) He's a yandere- but a yandere who hasn't fallen in love yet. Though I do plan on adding a platonic ending bc sometimes u just wanna kiss a bestie without any romantic feelings attached.

💛What made you think of the pet name ‘Firefly’ for MC? [Source] It honestly just came to me as I was concepting the game ;v;! Other pet names Mychael would’ve used were: turtledove, poppet and sweetpea. He would switch it up in the initial draft but sticking to one makes it more special I think.

💛What does Mychael think about femboys? [Source] He doesn’t really mind nor care how you present yourself :-0! In fact he’d find it strange you asked that at all after you explain what it means dhfjsjf

💛Does Mychael have a gender preference? [Source] Not at all! His favorite genre of human is you :-) Plus gender talk goes way over his head. He's too busy thinking about survival to mind that stuff. Anything you identify with he's absolutely okay with <3

💛How would Mychael feel about someone a lot shorter than him? [Source] He had to admit he forgot adult humans come in your size,,, he wouldn’t think much of it though! He’s just excited to make a friend :-)

💛What would Mychael's "ideal type" be? [Source] I think he’d be more attracted to gentleness, I think. Someone who is kind despite a harsh reality; willing to understand a creature like him and someone he trusts he can drop his guard around.

But even if you don’t fit that criteria, he’d still like you as long as you accept him for who he is! There’s no need to worry about changing yourself to fit his preference <3

💛How did the player get to Mychael’s home? [Source] I always imagined it as piggyback to be honest! But bridal carry, a fireman’s carry, over-the-shoulder, whatever you guys are comfortable with he’s definitely capable of <3 He may be shorter than most (Dolly’s note🌹: His height changed since this ask so maybe not anymore lol so let's change it to 'He may seem weak') but he's strong.

💛Is MC permanently affected by the mushroom ring they stepped in? How much power does Mychael hold against it? [Source] No, MC is not permanently affected by the mushroom ring they stepped in. In one of the bad endings, the influence of it over you is stronger than what Mychael can fight against, hence he releases you as he sees it as the forest already claiming you fully. He can do nothing else to save you.

That’s why he insists on you staying for dinner, and is surprised when you say yes, as he really thought he lost you already for a moment there :-) Past that choice, the mysterious ‘purple’ influence no longer affects you, as Mychael had successfully distracted you long enough for the mind-altering effects to wear off. He just needed the right thing to say to keep you grounded. Lest you wander off and end up in the ground </3

💛If we asked, would he talk to us in his own language? [Source] If he were to talk in it you wouldn’t be able to differentiate one word to another, they all sound the same hahaha.

💛Can we research what type of fae creature Mychael is? Will he be okay with it? [Source] He might be apprehensive at first, but if you ask the right questions he’d probably answer just enough to satiate your curiosity. Don’t be surprised if he leaves out certain things though, he doesn’t want you to think he’s a freak. 💔 He doubts you'd find anything in research though but who knows

💛Do you think Mychael would be a good teacher, when it comes to knitting? [Source] He’s never taught anyone before but he’d be happy to! (He’d probably be a very hands-on teacher cuz he’s bad at explaining–)

💛What if you knitted something for Mychael? [Source] If you knitted something for him he’d probably wear it/look at it multiple times throughout the day getting butterflies in his stomach.

💛If MC brought him to a secret river as a gift would he go? [Source] The thing I’d correct is Mychael would bring MC to a river instead of the other way around hahaha. MC is the poor meowmeow who got lost in the woods on Day 1. Their ass would not!! know any secret rivers

💛How would Mychael react if MC threw him a surprise party, to celebrate his birthday or to celebrate the day they both met? [Source] I think he’d love it a lot!! He’s not one to celebrate much if anything, but he’d be so happy if you threw a little surprise just for him :-) Especially knowing he gets to spend time with his favorite person in the world for such a special occasion <3

💛Is there any fun activities that Mychael would drag MC to? [Source] Oh for sure! He’d probably take you outdoors a lot and show you all his favorite spots in the forest :-)!! He’d probably bring you along to do his daily errands if you’d allow it haha

💛What would Mychael say if I were to take two slices of bread, put his head in between and sweetly ask: "what are you?" The answer lol

💛What would Mychael’s reaction be if MC tried giving him spicy food? [Source] If you try to give him a spicy dish, he’d definitely smell it first before he even tastes it. He’d just politely decline in that scenario.

💛What is his opinion if MC is the type to snore? [Source] He's definitely the kind of person to have the TV on in the room even if their not watching- just to have some noise around the house. So if MC were the type to snore… he’d probably find the sound strangely comforting? He’d find it jarring at first but grow used to it quickly.

It’s nice to hear you and know that someone is around after being alone for so long, especially when he’s up during late nights <3

💛How would Mychael feel about an MC who steals and wears his sweaters? [Source] He’d find it strange why you’d wanna steal when you can just ask– he’d also find it very endearing. Should he be concerned that you're a potential thief?? Or just worry about how cute you look?? a moral dilemma

💛Is there any type of clothing that Mychael likes to see on MC? [Source] I’d imagine he’d like clothes on MC that are more earth-toned perhaps, greens and browns that remind him of his forest and such. :-) Loose clothes are a bonus too cuz it makes you look comfy around him! i think he'd be a fan of animal-themed clothes too; pawprint socks or a fox cap or a rabbit hoodie- something like that.

💛What is Mychael’s love language? [Source] This is assuming MC and Mychael have been friends/lovers for a while; When you’re on the receiving end: Offering Gifts 🎁💖

He’s never had anyone be around as long as you have; he’s kinda new to the gifting thing but does so with a lot of enthusiasm!!

Whether it’s something he made or found, knowing he chose it for you is what makes it soso special.

He just loves the idea of being able to give something that was a part of himself and insert it into your life if that makes sense.

He also loves doing it because he believes you deserve to have nice things with all his heart :-)!

If he’s not sure what to gift you he’d rely on pretty little knickknacks he thinks you’d like but still be on the safe side; flowers, jewelry, decorations and accessories.

But if he does figure out your interests he’d do his best to accommodate! Books, toys, tools and clothes… he has his means of getting stuff he can’t make himself.

The idea of you keeping his gifts as a sign of friendship/love makes him really happy!!

Lowkey if he sees you using/wearing/displaying a gift he gave in the past he’d be purring non-stop.

When he’s on the receiving end; Words of Affirmation 💬💕

We know how he feels about his physical appearance so this is a no-brainer. His self-esteem isn’t the best :’-)

Being alone/isolated as he is, he might confuse physical affection but nothing is more clear to him than words straight from your mouth about how much you mean to him <3

At first he wonders if you truly mean what you say when you talk so positively about him, but then he slowly starts to believe it.

Do not underestimate the impact of one (1) compliment as simple as “You look good today, Mychael.” He’d remember it for at least a week.

It’s a bit of a guessing game to figure out what gets him the best. If you praise his skill at something his response would be, “Oh I guess I got good at it. Thanks, firefly :-)” but if you praise his looks and mannerisms you’ve hit the jackpot.

Blushing, stuttering, avoiding your gaze level of embarrassment.

If you’re really close friends or basically dating, he will absolutely ask for your opinion on how you feel about him from time to time, just to get reassurance from you.

Overall nothing gets him better than just hearing positive remarks from a loving source aka you :-) <3

💛How would Mychael react if we made him some lunch while he was knitting and feed it to him? The cute illustrated answer

💛How would he react to a very clingy MC? [Source] If you mean very clingy, he’d be pretty tense about it, to be honest. He’s not used to physical touch but doesn’t mind it; if you take it easy and ask permission (so he doesn’t get overwhelmed) he’d be more okay with it! Just respect him when he asks you for space every once in a while <3

(Dolly’s note🌹: I can only guess but I think this answer is if you're still in the friend status because if this applies even in the obsessed status, the below Q&A would so funny in comparison)

💛But is Mychael clingy? This guy? Clingy? Nahhh. Nothing to worry about, anon :-)/s Here's a visual of his clinginess, he's very clingy yes lol.

💛Is Mychael the jealous type? [Source] It’s rare for him to feel jealous, but I’d imagine when it does happen he’d feel it very intensely on the inside. But you’d probably be none the wiser 💔

💛How would Mychael react if we confess our feelings to him? [Source] Bold of you to assume he won’t be the one to confess first 🤨

💛Does Mychael like to be kissed? [Source] His kind arent accustomed to physical affection. Does he even know what kissing is??? Thats for me to decide and you to figure out 👀 BUT He’d love getting kisses! On the cheeks especially :-) But careful not to overstimulate him; he’s kinda like a cat when you pet ‘em too much and they get all frazzled. Kisses on the lips he's less inclined but doesn't mind em time to time. Maybe like a peck or two. And here's a gif of pampering Mychael's face with kisses <3

💛Does Mychael know about marriage customs in human civilization? [Source] He’s familiar with human marriage the same way a young kid would be; involves inviting people, dressing up and wearing rings for some reason?? How strange to go to such lengths when you could just be around that same person the rest of your life and still be the same??

He doesn’t put much significance on it personally. Unless…? 👀 💛What would Mychael do if MC took care of him while he was sick? [Source] He’s not used to asking someone to care for him, but in this state if MC offered to help he’d honestly just ask you to keep him warm too with zero assumption as to what you might think. He’s just a little too out of it to be embarrassed about it. Example of providing him warmth.

💛Would Mychael let us hug him when he’s sick or would he push us away? Although, would this make us sick? [Source] He would! I’d say he’s the most physically clingiest when he’s sick. He’s basically sleepy all the time and other than seeking warmth, he doesn’t communicate much.

And no, we can’t get sick from him and vice versa, since our bodies are different from his. So no worries about getting yourself sick when you’re around him!

💛What would Mychael do if the MC got ill? [Source] Oh he’d be worried beyond belief! He wouldn’t leave you alone for a second.

He’s not familiar with human sickness, but he’d do his best to provide whatever it is you need. Hot soup, warm blankets, he’d even risk going to get medicine for you if you ask.

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Some facts I didn’t add as Cheea didn’t give a direct answer to some questions, like Mychael’s family, since they’ll eventually be answered in the game <3

But I hope you enjoy this and that it may be useful to you all!

#mushroom oasis #visual novel #mushroom oasis vn #mychael #mushroom oasis mychael #info organizing

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ao3commentoftheday · 5 months

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Hello! First of all, thank you for this blog. I’ve read some of the asks you’ve answered so far and they’ve been incredibly fun and to go through and very useful <3

The problem I have is very… specific. But I figured why not share it here, you know?

A few months ago, I started leaving rants and analyses in one of my favorite AO3 writer’s tumblr ask box, regarding their fics. That kind of evolved and long story short, they’ve been following my tumblr blog for a while.

Now this obviously makes me incredibly happy. They’re not exactly popular in the whole wide fandom, per se, but they’ve kind of created a smaller fandom within the original fandom through their fics and art (which are mostly AU longfics, and art for said AUs), so this basically feels like being tumblr mutuals with someone like Neil Gaiman to me.

The problem arises in the fact that I feel like I’m being watched now. This person I look up to follows my tumblr, and knows my AO3 handle, and I have only posted a single fic so far, but I have so many other fics I want to write, and I’m always so anxious to write because I keep thinking “When I post this, are they going to see it? Read it, maybe? Are they gonna hate it? Are they gonna unfollow me because they don’t like my characterization or writing?” and I keep trying to reason with myself that part of the reason I look up to them so much is that they promote a “No judgement” policy, and part of the reason they followed me is because they liked my analysis of their work, but now I’m realizing that… I want them to read my fics. And I want them to like them and maybe I want us to be friends and not just mutuals, and I want us to freak out about each other’s fics, you know?

That is worsened by the fact that… My tumblr account is fairly new. And I have a total of 3 followers including said fanfic writer, so I feel the pressure to post fics in order to grow my tumblr circle and build a community, but that directly clashes with my desire to write something absolutely perfect so they’ll like it, which then both clash with what makes writing fic enjoyable, AKA doing it for myself and writing what I want to and how I want to.

I’m aware that I can’t control what another person likes, dislikes, or does. And that I have all the time in the world to write the fics I want and those that will make me happy without regarding what other people might think. But also… fandom are communities. And I want my tumblr and AO3 to be places where I can talk about my fics with people who like them, so that desire to grow my account as soon as I can is very strong simply because I have no one else to talk to. I don’t want to talk to the void and post rants that no one will see (except… y’know, maybe my favorite fanfic writer, which is a whole other level of pressure) about fics that don’t exist yet. Another part of this is the fact that, unless I get fics out, I’m relying on the fanfic writer liking my ideas and interacting to build a community.

As much as I try to convince myself to just write without care and to stop trying to control what this person does because that is completely out of my control and kind of dehumanizing on their behalf, the anxiety doesn’t subside. I don’t know what to do.

This ask was a bit of a journey for me, anon, and it took a little bit of untangling to see where you were going with it. I think this might be the central issue you're facing though:

I want my tumblr and AO3 to be places where I can talk about my fics with people who like them ... because I have no one else to talk to. I don’t want to talk to the void and post rants that no one will see ... about fics that don’t exist yet.

You're looking for fandom friends, and you're at the start of that journey - and I think you're doing well already by reaching out to an author you like and sending them asks about their work. Being willing to reach out and talk to people is an amazing quality, anon, and I encourage you to keep doing that. Follow more people who post things that you're interested in. Drop asks in their inbox and start a conversation.

The other half of that is giving other people and opportunity to reach out to you. You can do this by posting your thoughts about the canon your fandom is tied to. You can see a ton of examples here on tumblr where folks discuss a particular moment or scene that meant something to them.

You can also reblog asks memes, like the AO3 wrapped ones I reblogged the other day. Sometimes I see people just answer all of the questions in their own reblog, but if you want people to have an opening, just leave your ask box open and see what comes through.

If you want to talk about your own work, you can post something for WIP Wednesday or Six Sentence Sunday - or just post a scene that you've been working on and ask what people think.

Everyone starts off with a handful of followers, anon. You won't dive into a lively community overnight. You also don't have to create tons of popular fics in order to make one. Join a community that already exists. Find the people you vibe with within it. This author friend of yours might be the perfect place to start.

Even our favourite people, the ones we look up to most, are still just people when it comes down to it. If this author is as chill as you say they are, I think friendship is totally possible.

I'll open it up to the blog now. Did I read this one wrong? Do you have advice for anon? Have you been in a situation like theirs?

#asks and answers #long post

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mynameiswhateveryoudecide11 · 8 days

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Hello everyone,

long time anonymous Kaylor here (lurker is the word probably), and long post incoming 💚

I’ve just recently started using this space more openly and sharing opinions, which I’ve honestly always been quite scared to do for various reasons, so I just wanted to share a bit of how I became a part of this little piece of heaven here on Kaylor tumblr and how important this community has been to me 🌈

When I first found out about Kaylor, it was years ago through a mutual connection on instagram. At the time, I too was going through a phase of slowly understanding myself and my queerness, which I’d obviously suppressed for so long (it took me just as many years, if not more, to actually accept it after realising it had always been there). So when I found this rabbit hole (or should i say these rabbit holes, as it all started with TTB, kaylor evidence, the masterposts, and all of the newer tumblr pages that have kept the memories from the archives alive all these years) - I finally realised what had always been quite confusing before: why did I always relate to Taylor’s music so deeply ? why did I feel like I could actually feel was she was feeling, even though I’d definitely never felt so strongly about any man in my life, while she was allegedly the straightest human on the planet ? Well that’s because she wasn’t. She was, although on a much bigger and more complicated and public scale, one of us 🎉🌈 As someone who struggled for years to accept my non-straightness, finding out that the biggest artist on Earth, whose music I’d loved for so long, was a tiny bit similar to me and my experience, made me feel a warmth and a tenderness and a happiness so strong that my heart could have exploded for it. I genuinely cried myself to sleep every night for 2 / 3 weeks after finding out. A happy, sad, angry kind of cry - happy to be in on the most beautiful secret of our generation, sad for all the freedom and the life that T & K have had to miss out on, and angry, SO fucking angry that some small-minded, arrogant idiots felt entitled enough to do this to them, to her. To take a life that wasn’t theirs, and make it what they wanted it to be, and take what they wanted from it. Fuck you. Fuck all of you who did this. “So unfair” I mumbled while trying to sleep. “So beautiful” I couldn’t breathe.

Fast-forward to today, I’ve spent an unreasonable and unhealthy amount of time lurking on every corner of the tumblrverse as well as analysing songs (my fave past time) and converting all my besties to Kaylorism (they are now so invested it’s ruining our lives 😂💖).

I’ve been trying to learn as much as possible and I’m so thankful to all the fabulous blogs on here:

@spade-riddles

@chosetherose

@9w1ft

@asteracaea

@rainbowdaisy13

@daisyswift3

@kwyw

@iwanthermidnightz

@tales-of-kaylor

@bettyshoweduptotheparty

and I’m sure there’s so many more I’m forgetting please drop your @ if you’d like !!

All this to say, I’ve spent years anonymously supporting and reading theories and enjoying the amazing safe space you have created for our community - you all have changed my life and I’m sure you’ve changed T’s life too, so I just wanted to share my little bit of personal Kaylor lore because it still makes me so happy and emotional to think about all the difficult times we’ve all been through and knowing that now the future’s bright, dazzling 💖🌈

Sending love out to you all, thanks for everything. Onwards and upwards from here xx

#kaylor #lgbt

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b1mbodoll · 12 days

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hihi ! i’m sososo extremely sorry for bein a bit ia lately!!! i recently celebrated my 21st bday n have been busy with birthday plans and just life in general !!!! but i have a few lil announcements bcus ive received lots of asks n dms recently n have a lot to discuss so i would appreciate if you all took the time to read this 🎀

first of all, i am super iffy about sharing my private life on here and do not appreciate questions regarding my hometown / where i’m from / even asking my ethnicity is a big no because you can nvr be too careful online. i’ve also gotten questions asking about why ive been so busy / not been writing and i hughly dislike them bc they seem intrusive and demanding. i have a life outside of tumblr and will not be sharing private details about myself with people i’m not close to!!!! i love my anons and followers so much n u guys know this but please respect my boundaries.

secondly, i’ve also received asks regarding a situation between an ex mutual of mine and i from a few months back and would greatly appreciate if they stopped!!!!! i wont go into detail about it because i honestly just want to forget about that person and the situation due to the mental distress it caused me and the negative feelings brought up when they / the situation are brought up, so again, please refrain from asking me about it because asks will be deleted and i will block you from sending anonymous asks if this persists.

third of all, i’ve been doing a lot of thinking regarding this and i won’t be taking official requests anymore. i love writing and fulfilling your fantasies n thoughts about idols but i’ve received too many demanding and hateful asks from people when their request is not posted. my asks will always be open for thirsting and suggesting ideas n if i enjoy it i’ll elaborate!!!!! but please do not expect a reply to every single ask sent it, i am only one person :( it breaks my heart to stop taking requests but it’s ultimately the best thing for me and my mental health.

lastly, PLEASE read my rules before sending in your thirsts / ideas / suggestions. time and time again i’ve had to reiterate boundaries and things i won’t write about because people are not taking the time to check my pinned posts and it’s tiring having to see multiple requests for kinks / scenarios i absolutely do not write for. it isn’t hard to check an author’s dni / byf and overall rules before asking something of them!!!!!!!!!!

oh one more thing!!!! i absolutely do NOT write for stray kids. they make me extremely uncomfortable and i don’t even have them listed in my “who i write for” section of my pinned post so, kindly, stop sending asks about them or i will have to block you :(

#♡.gabi barks #im so nervous to post this please dont hate me guys :(#i promise im not posting this to be mean or to shade anyone or anything like that! ive just been a little tired of having my boundaries #constantly disrespected and it’s really disheartening to receive asks demanding for their rq to be answered or #being reminded of such an awful experience that occured on here

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pray4byron · 3 months

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hi hi! i just saw that you were doing matchups for hazbin, and i wanted to send something in!! this is my first time sending in anything like this on tumblr, so hoping i’m doing this right!!

✧ i’m genderfluid, and i’m generally more interested in men than i am women

✧ i’m ambiverted - i was raised in a way that made me a bit socially isolated, so i have issues with being social today. i don’t really know how to introduce myself to people, so i don’t speak to people unless they speak to me first. when it’s someone new, i usually let them lead the conversation, but when i’m comfortable with someone, i talk a lot more - i’ll tell them random stories i remember, and infodump about my current interest, run down the entire plot of the book i’m currently reading, all of that. my brain goes faster than my mouth a lot of the time, and i have trouble putting my thoughts and feelings into words.

✧ my style is all over the place. the most common color in my wardrobe is black, because mixing and matching colors kinda stresses me out. not to mention what i wear in my day to day can change depending on where i feel on the gender spectrum at any given time. my default is combat boots and (faux) leather jacket + gold rings and earrings

✧ my main love languages are acts of service (receiving) and gift giving (giving) - making people stuff is a sort of hobby of mine. i crochet a lot, and i love love love making people plushies <3 a lot of the time i’ll even start a craft project that i don’t even really want to keep and put it away in a stash of stuff to give to other people when the opportunity arises

✧ i bounce hobbies a lot, but the main ones that have stuck with me over a long period of time are drawing/animating and reading

✧ i have obsessive-compulsive disorder. there are certain topics/words i absolutely cannot say due to my ocd labeling it as taboo, and it’s made me a very superstitious person

✧ i cycle through interests a lot lot lot, but animation (both itself and as an industry) have been my main one for a while now. currently, i’m also really into dinosaurs and jurassic park! (fun fact, the velociraptor in jurassic park ought to be closer to the size they depict the dilophosaurus, and the dilophosaurus ought to be closer to the size they depict the velociraptor!)

make sure you don’t burn yourself out with these, i’ve seen you answer a lot already, take your time!! thanks in advance!

haha dw you did everything it seems!! i’m already burning myself out a bit sadly, as i’ve seemed to get a lot of requests than i can chew haha, but i’m gonna make it work!! you seem like such a sweetie, so ty anon for requesting!! i match you with…

Lucifer !!

Luci is a bit socially isolated too haha, as he sits at home and makes ducks all day

Speaking of, you two have your fair share of grandma-grandpa hobbies that you do together (crochet, knitting, etc)

He loves trying new hobbies with you, it keeps you entertained since your hobbies bounce back a lot, and it gets him out of his comfort zone

Also, he loves reading to you, he will do a bunch of silly voice for all the characters XD

You both just tend to info dump about your favorite topics to eachother, which Lucifer loves, no one really listens to his odd rambles, so the fact that you do is very heartwarming💕

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mycatishandsome · 1 month

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AMA: My Experience as an Experienced “Shifter” and Where I am Today with it

So, I don’t ever talk about sifting anymore really, even to the friends I made through the sifting community, but I’ve weirdly been seeing a lot of sifting posts on my main and thought that it couldn’t be a coincidence- especially since I hadn’t been looking for the content. Tumblr is very specific about their algorithm I’ve found. That was weeks ago though, but for the first time today, I actually thought about shifting.

For a bit of context- I used to be a very popular shifttoker on TikTok years ago. Obviously im not anymore. I did it for about a year- met some great people, and some others not so much. It was exciting while it lasted, but i moved on after i started to notice all the drama, and genuinely got so annoyed so i left. Before shiftok, I was already very spiritual and using my time to consistently look into techniques especially regarding meditation, lucid dreaming, and astral projection. I never did figure out astral projection, but became what you could call a “master” of lucid dreaming. I was doing it every night, several times a night without waking up or causing problems! Then deeper into my research i found out about shifting.

It was much like lucid dreaming, or at least it followed my theories about dreams- that when we dream, we’re technically in another “state of existence” much like astral projection, where our consciousness is leaving the body. I couldn’t find much info on it honestly, and what info i did find either led back to TikTok, or to ancient spiritualities and religions, and I genuinely couldn’t decipher half the stuff i was reading from them. My mistake, was i went to TikTok instead of trying to understand anything else. TikTok, I genuinely believe, has done irreversible damage to what actual shifting is, and if you were anywhere near shiftok in 2019-2022ish, you know exactly what im talking about.

BUT that’s not what this post is about, I wanted to talk more about my experiences (just wanted to add my history :))

My first shift was actually not too long after i found out what shifting was, I can’t entirely recall the method i used- no its not one of the fancyshmancy ones we see all over YouTube. It was something more simple, like a genuinely simple meditation, and at this point i had gotten very good at meditating- shutting my mind off and feeling everything but nothing (if that makess sense). It was unlike anything i had experienced, ESPECIALLY lucid dreaming. It was really just a mirror image of this world, with some differences, so nothing crazy. It was after i had found shiftok that i decided to join in as a creator and share my experiences, as I was actively shifting.

This was another mistake, as i found it more difficult to shift after this, but again- this post isn’t about that.

I was actively shifting for about 2-3 years before I eventually stopped. Why did I stop? I started to see really negative results in my real life (cr as some call it). I had some real elaborate realities I would go to, some were planned to the most minuscule detail, others not as much. But i had a blast regardless, and genuinely learned so many new things. I stopped when I started to really look at my life here, which when i was a creator, i always would tell my followers to ground yourself here, to never look past what’s happening here. It’s easy to get lost in your many lives, but it’s not worth losing this one. I really should’ve followed my own advice though. In my life here, I was still in college, had just broken up with my boyfriend of a year, had some shit friends, and a job at a library (which was honestly the only good thing). My life was boring, and I was living out what i wanted, through shifting. Which isn’t entirely a bad thing, just not the best thing.

Once shiftok when to shit and i had left, I had kind of “healed” myself in a way and created a new relationship with shifting, i was shifting regularly again. It was also at this point that I started to come up with more theories about shifting other then the whole, “we’re tuning in to another consciousness”. I’m by all means not saying that isn’t what it is, but we don’t know for sure if it is, so i was just having fun, as a regular shifter and lucid dreamer, trying to figure out other explanations.

I havn’t shfited in god knows how long. I haven’t meditated either. And I sure as hell haven’t lucid dreamed. It sucks to kind of lose something that was such a huge part of your life, but for reasons that has made my life better. I now have a partner of 2 years, im back in school for my masters, and im generally happy with my life :). The first time i have thought about shifting, was this morning when i woke up. Something happened earlier this week that has caused me great stress (family related) and one of my thoughts were “man shifting somewhere else would be lovely” just this idea of not having to deal with anything really. This thought process isn’t healthy, and by no means should you shift to escape anything. If you choose to do this (let’s face it, lots of us have or will), just understand the consequences.

If anyone would like to hear any shifting stories, methods, or theories or just any questions, please ask! I may not shift anymore but i love talking about it :)

Thank you for reading :)

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softcitrus2345 · 2 months

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I just found this acc and I find it sooo comforting… I’ve struggled with accepting this kink for a long time and you are so kind and helpful in your responses that it helps a lot ! I do have a question though - I’ve always wanted to post my chonky art but I’m scared of being recognised on my artstyle alone… do you change any part of your artstyle when posting or do you just put it out there and hope for the best?

AWW ;;0;; It's so nice knowing my rambles have done some good and have been helpful to you in some way!!!

As for the art style thing, I don't change anything about my style or characters when I post them here, which is a bit risky, I know, but honestly, if people go out of their way to find me here when I haven't said a peep about it on my main acc with all my other art mutuals (not on Tumblr so don't go lookin' XDD) then it's none of their business what I do on my silly little kink account >:[ I do get nervous about being discovered here by people I know outside of this space, but I don't think it's worth changing my art style that I've worked so hard to develop over my whole life just for the chance it might reduce the risk I post the same ocs I do on my main account on here, same names and everything, and luckily I haven't had anyone find me here yet, but that's because I made sure to do everything I could beforehand to prevent my mutuals from finding this account (again, the block button is your best friend in this case)

I wish people were generally more accepting and neutral about this kind of art, so we wouldn't always have to worry like this about sharing the things that we like, it's not fair so many people (myself included) feel forced to hide their interests out of fear of alienation or shame from others We all deserve to just have our own cozy little spaces where we can share our ideas and interact with each other, I wish you the best with your art, I hope you can feel comfortable sharing it one day! But please don't force yourself to bend over backwards to make your style unrecognizable, you deserve to create and draw in whichever style you prefer!! Have a wonderful rest of your day, Poppet, I'm cheering you on!!

#softcitrus asks #softcitrus rambles #niche blog #weight gain #art talk

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writingquestionsanswered · 8 months

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Feeling Weird About Promoting Stories

Anonymous asked: How do I get over being ashamed to promote my story more? While I definitely write for myself, I like a bit of validation as well but I'm too shy and feel a bit...cheap? There's a person in my writing community who goes around begging people to read their stuff. They keep track up to where you've left comments, and then asks why haven't you commented on their other chapters. They also passive aggressively say nobody likes their stuff enough to leave comments and other things to guilt people into guilt reading their stuff. I've been encouraged by friends to market my stories more, but I just can't bring myself to do it because I feel like I'm in the same boat as this person.

(Ask was edited for length...)

First, I want to be clear that what this person (in your writing community) is doing isn't promoting themselves. It's nagging and badgering, and if they ever try that as a fiction writer, they'll have a very short career.

What they're doing is like hitting someone over the head repeatedly with a pillow. Promoting your story is like standing there holding a sign that shows information about your story. You're not asking anyone to read your story. You're not badgering them by appealing to their sympathy or sense of guilt. You're literally just saying, "Here's my story..." It's up to them whether or not they want to check it out.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with or shameful about promoting your work/product. If there was, we wouldn't have TV commercials, print ads, movie trailers, billboards, etc. The key is to do it in a way that doesn't annoy or badger your potential "customer." When promoting books and stories, that means doing it in a way that's quick, interesting to the reader, and not doing it so frequently that they get sick of hearing from you.

Many fan-fiction writers have a social media account associated with their writing which they can use to help drive traffic to their stories. So, for example, an Instagram, Tumblr or Facebook page. The link to this social media would also be shared at the bottom of each story to give fans a place to stay updated on your writing.

A promotional post would look like...

1 - A text post with a little teaser or hook:

Hi, everyone! I just updated Two Balls of Yarn over at AO3. Let's just say this is the chapter where everything goes sideways. You can check it out here: [link to story on AO3, username, or whatever]

2 - A graphic: for example, a book cover for your story, a mood board or aesthetic, a gif set, or story art, along with a caption that says something along the lines of what's up above in #1. Alternatively, it could say something like: Two Balls of Yarn, updated 9/3/23, available here...

If you're have a story in progress that you're posting every week or so, you would do such a promo post every time you update. However, once every few days or so, you might also choose to promo an older story. Depending on the social media platform, you may also want to do other types of posts occasionally, such as episode reviews (if for a TV show), reblogs of fan-art or gif sets related to the fandom, etc. You might even share links to other writers' stories that you really enjoyed.

Also, and this is SO important... 90% of success when promoting on social media is reciprocal engagement. In other words, if you want people to read, like, and comment on your stories, you need to read, like, and comment on other people's stories.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

LEARN MORE about WQA

VISIT MY Master List of Top Posts

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#writing tips #wqaadvice

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wachtelspinat · 17 days

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Hey, I just came across your post about how you’ve been feeling a disconnect from you and your art and about how you feel a mix of guilt for drawing the same fanart for so long….i just want you to know how nice it felt to see someone I have admired for so long going through the exact same thing I am. I have never played Overwatch or anything, but I’ve been following you for years….your art has always been such a source of inspiration. So I’m really sorry you’ve been feeling this way…..but I’m in a very similar boat…so please don’t feel like you are alone. I’ve been drawing Homestuck garbage for years and I also feel that mix of “it’s fine because it makes me happy” but also “you should be doing more”…..it’s not a fun cycle to constantly be battling with in your brain. But being an adult sucks ass, it has honestly felt like a process having to adjust to not having a sense of community like we did in the earlier days of tumblr or whatever else. But please know that your art has meant so much to me and everybody else and that you are not alone in your feelings ❤️ sorry this was massively cheesy….just wanted to give a virtual internet hug lol Also being a part of a “dead” fandom is always very lonely….i feel you on that so hard my guy lol

hey thanks so much for reaching out, it means a lot. i'm sorry to hear that you are in a similar pickle tho...

to give an update on that particular feeling and situation over here, i've been drawing more again, the pace just got adjusted, and i've kind of made my peace with this. doing a deep dive into older fandom bits also brought some sense back into my head... i actively reconnected with the things that made me love my blorbos in the first place again. which feels great. there is some lonliness to this because as current news about the game and fandom tendencies go still make me feel alienated. but i'd rather take this and do my own thing with the few people who also remember the good times than giving up on my boys or trying to bend myself into a different shape and draw sth that i actually don't want to for the sake of staying relevant.

it all actually boils down to "do what you want, draw what you want, write what you want, share if you want". because at the end of the day i make myself happy by just indulging into envisioning them and drawing unspoken interactions and their faces a hundered times from the same angle <3

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rinbowaman · 9 months

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HHP - Chapter 20 MDNI18+

ooooooh........the plot thickens yall.....

Warnings: MDNI 18+, mentions of murder, smut, torture, sense of kidnapping, abuse of authority in relationship, controlling behavior, manipulation, extreme obsession, deceit, mentioning of serial killer.....mmmm cursings, there are quite a few of flashbacks/time jumps with this chapter, so if you haven't read MGR/MRE and all of HHP (i know i gotta fix the chapters on the masterlist, believe me i've been trying all day and tumblr keeps wanting to relapse me back to home page, but i promise i'll fix it. This chapter is only slightly proofread, so you know what to do if you find a mistake. lol.

If you had requested to be on the taglist but dont see your name on the bottom, please let me know! i use the same taglist for the Se7en and DT series, but sometimes Tumblr likes to freeze on me whenever i copy and paste each taglist or blog name. gifs belong to blog name Heeseunq and the image was just something I found on Pinterest.

The air was stoic with the immense emptiness that hallowed the dorm room. With Vicky already gone to a new school, you couldn’t help but feel guilty despite her reassurance that this new path was something that she needed in order to get back to her true roots. Still, with how everything had transpired, you still felt a sense of guilt. It was only natural, considering you were now dating her ex-boyfriend, the one she may not have been entirely kind, yet was emotionally still holding on to.

It didn’t appear that Heeseung thought too much into the situation, in fact, you wondered if he had felt the slightest bit of guilt, considering the man was nothing but all smiles and affection ever since you both shared your first night of passion. Ever since, he was inseparable from you.

……………

“I did it….I finally got her….she’s mine…I’ve been waiting for so long…yearning so hard….waiting for the moment where I can have her all to myself, protect her, love her, cherish her, see more of her, and witness the pain, sadness, happiness, anger, and chaos that lies within her. I can’t wait to see every single inch of her, and memorize the hidden corners of her body, the inner workings of her mind, and the various depths of tone in her voice. Finally…..she’s mine.”

……………

The moment you both made it official and broke the news to Vicky, It didn't take long for Heeseung to convince you to come back with him to his room, figuring his frat house was way more convenient than your single dorm, which it indeed was. It also didn’t take long for him to pin you against the mattress, floating above you as he positioned himself to take in a full sight of your lying form, hair and all.

‘God damn she’s so beautiful….and she's fucking all mine….’

“What are these?” you chuckled as you laid flat back on the bedspread and saw a pair of glasses on the nightstand.

“My glasses…”

“You wear glasses?”

“I used to….back in high school.”

“You don’t anymore?”

“Nope…got Lasik a while back…”

Hovering atop of you while propping himself up by the stealth of his straight arm, his hand firmly planted next to your head, he remained in a dominant position overhead of you…..gleaming down at you with his black, feasting eyes.

Taking the glasses with his free hand, he puts them on, delicately sliding them upwards along the bridge of his nose with the tip of his finger. Once more, he looks down at you, this time through the clear lenses decorating his face.

Still remaining propped high up above you, paralleled to your frame, he bites down his lower lip as he raises his brows at you with an intrigued and look of desiring amusement, his infamous bedroom stare. Appreciating the eye contact through the handsome stare beneath the framed lens, you felt his free hand slowly travel against your outer thigh, up to your hip, reaching your waist, where he grabs and squeezes the side of it.

Narrowing the widened shape of his eyes, he leans down and kisses you, deeply and passionately, the sound of his tongue dancing with your own, accompanied by the sweet smacking of your lips meeting and clicking against each other filled the room. A sound that was so pleasant…and so new to the area, since he admitted that you were the only woman he had ever brought back to his room. Something that was a big no-no for him, even with Vicky, yet he was so welcoming and open to have you there with him. So much in fact, that each day he issued hints in desiring for you to remain and live with him, something that you took time to consider, but eventually catered to, at the expense of his constant urging expression…not to mention that one night where the decision was sealed for you….

“ You’re not leaving.”

“I have to, all my stuff is in my dorm.” You softly laughed out, taking in his demanding tone lightly.

“So?....I’ll take you early in the morning, besides I don’t want to drive you back just yet. Stay here….”

“Heeseung it will be easier if I-“

With swift movement, you felt him suddenly hovering his large frame over you from behind while you were opening the door, only to feel it gently slam shut beyond your reach as the knob slips out your grasp.

With his hand firmly laid flat on the surface of the wood panel, his free arm snakes around your waist and pulls your backside against his groin. With his face burrowed into your hair, he whispers in his usual dark and deep tone…

“I said stay…….be a good girl and just stay…..”

Breaking the kiss, he takes the glasses off and places them on you. To your surprise, the lenses were non-prescription and merely plastic.

“You replaced the lenses?” you asked as you lifted your hand to slightly adjust the delicate silver frame on your face.

“Yeah. Last year, Jake and I went to a Halloween party, and we decided to go as ourselves in High School. Since my vision is corrected, I replaced the lenses with plastic ones.” He smirks while explaining, once more biting down on his lip as he tilts his chin downward, admiring the view before him. “They look good on you….who would have thought that someone would look better than me in my own glasses.” He chuckles.

“Stop, you’re overexaggerating.” You chuckled back.

“No pretty girl…I’m not….you’re a wonderment.” He speaks softly as he reaches down and gently removes the glasses, placing them back on the nightstand as he simultaneously leans back down to kiss you.

“But if I had to choose….I like you just the way you are right now…..” he spoke against your lips, his eyes extremely narrow as he spoke, glistening with wetness that was neither tears nor the reflection of light…it was something else.

It amazed you…how close you two bonded with one another considering at this point in time, you both had barely began dating, sharing your first night after the frat party just recently. Yet you felt as if you had been with him for much longer considering the fact that there was something about Heeseung you learned and grew accustomed to…a secret that no one else, not even those such as Jake, who had been closest to him throughout his life, knew the details of the one thing you were exposed to….all beginning a night that took place one week after you began dating.

He brought you comfort, joy, and protection, the things that you hadn’t felt at this level, it was so intense. The way he loved and displayed his affection, it was unlike anything you ever felt before, and yet, it was so hard for you to understand or figure just how he could make you feel that way.

It could have been the way he touched you….how he could swiftly move back and forth between rough and gentle. It could have been the way he spoke to you, a low and deep tone that would escalate to a more heightened and softer pitch or go even lower and darker in tone. It could have been the way he stared at you, his eyes would range from a look of peak admiration, filled with light and love that you’ve never seen a man give to a woman….and then there were times where he would peer down at you with a look of desire…lust….a look of thirst and hunger, as if he wanted to devour you but in the most sensual way he could….and he did.

You’ll never forget that night, when he took you back to the farm that you became so fond of, from when he brought you out the morning after your first night together….when your relationship came to life.

You could still remember it as clear as day...

The squeaking of the leather seating in the back, the rocking motion of the car as your bodies grinded and moved in sync, and the sweet sound of skin-to-skin contact with breathless gasps and moans, it was another night of wild and heated passion, where he repeatedly thrusted and you took it all, clenching and helplessly bouncing while he controlled your movements as you supported yourself with your hands firmly grabbing onto his shoulders.

Minutes turned to hours, and there he was once again releasing inside you with his potent essence that melted you from the inside out, causing your body to go limp and weak.

It wasn’t until that moment that you learned of a very peculiar nature about the man in front of you….the man who stared at you with loving eyes, bit his lips out of excitement whenever you made eye contact with him….the man who loved you so much that he punctured his own flesh, his teeth digging into his lip every time he gazed at your face whenever he was reminded that you really did belong to him…and that you being there in his reach was not a dream.

…………..

“Ugh…..mmm……H-Heeseung….”

“Yeah…..you want more? Tell me you want more……there’s nothing more that I want to do than to give it to you a thousand times over….”

“Mmm……ugh!.....I…..I……I w-want….want more….”

Sucking on your neck, you felt his hands drop from your waist as he relaxes his grip and settles them on your hips. His momentum slows down as he retracts from progressing in re-entering inside you…instead he slowly releases your neck as he throws his head back against the head rest. Both of you slightly sweaty from the immense orgasm you both just gifted to one another, yet the moment he was well on his way to initiate it all over again, he stops….

“…..Are you okay?”

“….yeah…just….wanted to take a moment to….calm myself down.” Tightening his grip around your hips, he pulls you in for a small kiss.

“Calm yourself?” you softly inquired between each soft smack of the kiss.

“Mmhmm….”

You pulled slightly back and looked at him with a peculiar look before drifting your vision down to his chest. His shirt sticking to his skin, reflecting the quick flashback of how you both were overwhelmed by desiring each other’s touch, that you hadn’t even bothered fully undressing one another. With your dress wrinkled around your waist, his jeans loose and his shirt slightly rolled up to expose his toned abs, and your hair sticking to your skin as was his, you trailed your fingers down the lining of each muscle definition that was displayed before you. “Calm yourself from what?”

Bringing his face forward, slightly transitioning his sight from a lazy, heavy lidded look to a glare, he speaks in a growling tone…it was a tone of annoyance…frustration….or anger…..was it frustration towards you?....or was it….?

“I rather not…..hurt you….y/n.”

You blinked out of sincere confusion. “……Would you?”

Expressing a look as if he was offended by your defying response, he reaches up and slaps a new grip around your upper arms and pulls you in as he hisses through his teeth.

“Yeah I would….I fucking would…..I want to ruin you….I want to give it to you so badly….give you the stuff nightmares and screams of pleasure are made of…..you have no fucking idea….you pretty…pretty soft thing….” Gritting his teeth, he nearly snarls as he brings your face forward by the grip he had on your arms.

As he widens his eyes, his nose tip touching yours, you saw the glare mold into a malicious, sadistic, and demeaning look….it was the look of a beast, not the man that you were speaking to just a moment ago.

Still….the way he licked his lips…..the way he tried to maintain self-control….the way he gritted his teeth….you’re not sure how…but something told you that ‘love’ was still there….it was a love that was slightly different, but just as everlasting and intense….a darker love….and you wanted to see more of it. You wanted to experience all sides of this man…..just as much he wanted to experience all sides of you.

“……Its okay…..if……if you do….only if you feel like…..if you want to…….I’ll take whatever you have to give.” You couldn’t bear to make eye contact as you spoke, instead you opted to stare at his chest as you fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. The beads of sweat dripping down from your collarbone and onto your nude breasts felt cold as you found yourself in a state of shock, intrigue, and fear at the feel of his tightening grip.

Scoffing, he bit his lip as he continued to glare at you with that eerie look on his face. “Don’t say anything you will regret…..you have no idea what you’re asking for….yyyyyy/nnnnnnn.” At the mentioning of your name, his fingers dig into your skin, his eyes widening as the sclera expands and takes over the space his iris had occupied, instead, the circle of black coloring shrinks, enhancing that unsettling look in his eye…..it was nearly murderous and demonic.

Yet, you remained true to your heart and gut instinct…despite feeling a level of fear that was equivalent the level of joy and comfort he gave you……it was all so contradicting, and yet you needed to see more…you needed to see all of it….the two sides of love he had in store for you.

“……True…but does that change the fact that I still want to see it?” You slightly spoke back.

Hissing once more, his countenance transitioned, his glare lessened as he developed a look of being seemingly challenged and intrigued. “Oh-ho really now?.......You sure about that?......hmm?....fucking answer me.”

His grip on your waist tightens, he pulls you against his chest harshly with effortless speed and violently harsh, practically enveloping you with his mighty frame.

“Well? Fucking say it if you feel so strongly about it…….I’ll fucking devour you…you have no idea how long I’ve been keeping myself at bay…..hiding…..refraining from scaring people…..from scaring you……but by all means….you want to release the beast…..you want me to show you how I can love?...You want me to make you scream?....To make you beg? Go right on ahead baby…..fucking say it……”

With his strong hand, he grips your neck and forces you to look into his blackened eyes….the first time you saw them matte black, no longer carrying that glistening shine. There was a darkness that casted over his features that made him look more sharp and defined…..his smirk no longer carried the essence of a prince-like grace, instead, it was a devilishly handsome….sadistic and malevolent, crooked smile.

“I…..” you started. He raised a brow as you watched his smile widening…..bearing teeth.

“….weeeeeelllllll??......” he urges. “…..Say it…..”he whispered out.

“I……I want to…..only if you feel like it….” You lean in, tapping your lips against his as you repeat with a delicate, soft and airless whisper….

“…..only if you feel like it…..”

Sealing his lips with a tender kiss, you reach up and caress his cheek, his strong grip around your neck tightens yet remained soft. You’re not sure if he was stunned, shocked, or pleasantly surprised, maybe it was all of the above…either way, he took a moment before he finally started to move and caress your body….at least…. that’s how it started.

…………..

“Ah! Ugh! Oh my G-…..ah! mmmmm!!…”

A cycle of moans, gasps, and screams penetrated through your lips as you felt the uncontrollable tempo of his sexual wrath taking place and pleasantly destroy your body. It was similar to that of the first night, whenever you pushed or tried to create distance, he pulls and seals your bodies together. Only this time….it was much more relentless and intense…..there was more hunger and less restraint…..as if there was a side to him that had created a balance….yet that side was not here this time…..

“No-no…..this is what you asked for riiiiiight?……..Fucking let me eat you….let me feast on your skin……let me tear your body to pieces…..”

“Ugh!Ugh! Ah!” the raging pleasure of his motions overtook your body, it was both painful and euphoric. Thighs shaking, hips gyrating, and your chest heaving, you felt as if he was digging into your soul with the way he fucked you, it was hard, intense, and rough, more so than his usual manner since you’ve started dating, yet it brought you to a peak of euphoria that you had never felt before.

“H-Heeseung ugh! P-please! Oh my God!”

Pausing his motions, he glares at you while holding you by the neck, feeling the blood rushing through as your body catches its breath from his overzealous manner of loving you. Lowly speaking, he suddenly and harshly brings your face closer to his as he licks over your lips, admitting a small bite on your bottom lip before whispering…..

“Wrong…fucking…name……” with a deep and dark chuckle, he commences his movements…..at an excruciating pace.

The loud smacks of your thighs and derriere landing on his lap, the high pitch screams of mercy, the strands that flew all around from the jerked movements you were forced to succumb to as he grabbed, squeezed, lifted, and slammed you in a cycle of up and down, back and forth, and rolling movements…burrowing his length deeper inside you…..exploring new depths that had never been breached before.

“Ah! Ugh!! W-what are you doing to me!? Please!!! Oh my God!!” a lightening jolt of immense pleasure with a sharp sting spreads throughout your body, causing you to experience a sense of paralysis as your body grew too weak, succumbing to any sense of mercy he may….or may not be willing to give.

Biting, nibbling, sucking, and harshly chuckling against your skin, he varied his grip between your waist, hips, and rear cheeks as he created a new momentum and tore you apart in ways that were deemed unimaginable.

“Please!!!” You screamed as the black tunnel clouded your vision, caving in and narrowing your sight to almost pure darkness. “Oh my God please….ugh! I…I’m gonna cum!!” you screamed as you dig your fingers into his shoulders, pleading for him to allow you….and himself to give in.

“Fuck…!!!” he groans against your skin and finally, he releases.

Fully drenched in sweat, the both of you catch your breath with the pounding of your chest plates tapping each other. His grip does not loosen, yet it wasn’t as harsh like it was during his ravishing display of feasting and dominating your body.

Sitting upright with the little bit of strength you could gather, you took a good look at his face to see that the sinister and malicious countenance remained, staring right back at you.

Breathing hard, his mouth slightly parted, with his head leaned back, he glares under half lidded eyes, but he doesn’t say anything…not a single word. Instead, he continues to catch his breath.

You felt your gaze turned to that of a sympathetic one…something told you that this man has been hiding a side of himself for a long time.

“You…….said ‘wrong name’ earlier…..what…..what am I supposed to call you?....if it’s not Heeseung?”

He continues to glare and breathes deeply, getting a few pumps of oxygen to replenish the air loss in his lungs, he finally speaks in a low and dark voice….

“Ethan….”

Suddenly, his sadistic countenance softens….he still had a look that could kill, yet he didn’t appear as murderous in his gaze. His hands travel upwards to your ribcage, and he gently pulls you in towards him. He was less harsh, and much gentler with his manner in pulling you in. Kissing you on your forehead, he cradles you against his chest as he wraps his arms around you, running his fingers through your hair as he tightens his hold around your lower back. Like a child, he embraces you fully, resting his chin atop of your head.

“My beautiful girl…..call me Ethan….”

At that very moment, as you recalled the past scenes of how you met Ethan, you learned bit by bit of who exactly he was, as well as Heeseung. It was strange and interesting, how both were complete opposites and yet displayed so much similarities when it came to the values of their love for you…their desire to protect you, to shelter you, and to give you warmth, in their own unique way.

The next morning, Heeseung refrained from immediately addressing the case of his alter ego, simply stating that it was a side of him that was much darker and deeper, but still loved me just as much as he did, in his own unique way.

……………….

“Ever heard of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?”

“…Yes…..”

“Just think of it like that……Ethan is a side of me that I’ve hid and had to keep secret….he’s the maniacal side of me…..a very dark persona…..but that doesn’t deter him from loving you…from wanting to protect you.” Walking you back up to a wall, he pins you to the surface as he cups your face and dives in to you. He was still in his Heeseung state, yet he had a sliver of darkness casted over his face, as if he was going to transition, yet he remained true to the gentler side of his Dr. Jekyll face.

With a kiss on your lips, he gently pulls away and whispers….

“Just promise me you’ll love the both of us….don’t ever be afraid of Ethan….even though sometimes I’m afraid of what he’ll do to you…..he loves you in a way that Lions love flesh….sometimes he might not be able to control himself….but promise me you’ll never stop loving him…or me….always be a good girl….and love us….just like we love you.”

Nodding, you reassured Heeseung with a gentle smile. “I promise….”

"I'm tired......of all these people.....wanting to hurt you.....first Gabe....then Samuel.....Tiff....Scott......that man we saw at the theater.....why can't people just leave you alone?.....Why can't everyone just leave my pretty baby alone?" a look of sadness quickly took over the angry expression as he brushed his fingers along your cheek. Yet still, despite the sudden change in his countenance, there was something off putting about his demeanor and attitude.

"I just.....I want to take you away....that's all I want....I want us to be away from everything else....where I know you'll always be safe.....I can be nice about it.....or I can be forceful.....it all depends on how you want it y/n.....because one way or another....I'm taking you. I rather you be willing though.....so....please say yes.....tell me you'll let me keep you all to myself.....and let me take you away......I graduate in a few months....let me start everything and let me hide you away from this ugly world.......let me take you away! Say yes! Say it…..SAY IT.”

“O-okay….yes….take me away…..take me away Ethan.” You forced a soft smile, wanting to appease his desperate tone. The sudden dark chuckle that emitted from his mouth caught you off guard, and you furrowed your brows as you looked at him for an explanation.

“W-what is it? Why are you laughing like that?”

Not immediately answering, instead, you watched as Ethan displayed his usual behavior of biting his lower lip, slurping the saliva as his eyes smile at you through a widened glare. You’ve seen this expression before, yet there was something much different about the way he was issuing it….why was he laughing so darkly towards you?

“…..Ethan?” you softly spoke out, faintly smiling for reassurance.

“Heheheheheh…..wrong name….y/n.”

HIS PERSPECTIVE

Nearly five months have passed. You finished college and finally got your degree, yet you were already moving at a fast pace well before you graduated, because the moment she said ‘yes…take me away’, you became far too elated to save any bit of planning for the last minute.

To your surprise, she didn’t struggle, object, or put up much of a fight, yet you suspect that the confusion and shock hit her so hard that she remained stale in her emotions and movements. Not that you were complaining, this was for the better…..for her….and for yourself. How nice it was to finally be at peace and happiness, to have her all to yourself….in this new beautiful home….taking her with you whenever you went into work, knowing where she her location was at all times…assured that she was always safe, away and out of sight from the ugly world. Not to mention….she was finally….entirely all yours….ALL…..YOURS…..AND YOURS ONLY.

.................

“Let’s go pretty baby…..we got a plane to catch.”

“W-wait no! I….I haven’t said goodbye to-“

“You can call them when we land. Let’s go.”

“P- please…..”

“Come on pretty baby…..let me take you away…..let me do it nicely….unless you want me to be a bit forceful with it? Hmm?....you really don’t have a choice…..so just be nice…and let me take you…..let me keep you…..COME HERE.”

..................

Of course, it was abrupt and rather sudden, with you plucking her away from the environment she was used to, forcing her to enroll in online classes so suddenly, packing, and picking up everything in preparations for the move, and flying out the moment you were handed your degree. Yet it wasn’t as if you didn’t tell her…..you did. A long time ago when you initially brought up the question and asked her if she would come with you. You even warned her….that you were going to take her away…..it’s not like you were doing everything behind her back. This was something you had made evident from the very start, and was quite open about it when you asked if she would come with you…..something you were prepared to take matters into your own hands should say ‘no’…..but in your favor….she said ‘yes’ instead. How fortunate and less tedious for you.

Unlike with Vicky and the others, you cared less if they had wanted to follow you or not. You always thought that at some point, should they fall out of your good graces, which they all eventually did, you would find a suitable partner to become your wife later on. You never once thought that someone in this world existed with such inner and outer beauty, a tender voice, and wondrous personality, one that drove you to the point of insanity. You never truly felt that you would have had a fighting chance in Hell in gaining her affection since her loyalty wouldn’t permit her from breaking away from Samuel at the time. Yet you were fully prepared to get her at all costs…..but fate worked in your favor once more when she received that email….that one thing that broke her….and of course you were there to pick her back up….you had been waiting and observing her with eagle eyes. How would she have reacted if she knew….that the moment you saw her at the party that night…..you broke….you finally decided that you would plan….sabotage…..manipulate every aspect of reality so you could have her….How would she have reacted?

If Samuel hadn’t ended up revealing his true and unjust nature just in time, and broke her heart that very night….ceasing you to carry out your delicate plans in separating her from everything in the world so you could be the only one in her life to bring forth comfort.....How would she have reacted if she were to ever found out the changes that occurred with in you the moment you saw her that night? What went through your mind…..as you watched her standing there, next to the open bar at the party…..back when you were still yearning and loving her from a distance...up until the end of it...when both your lives changed at the commencing of your blossoming bond that took place much later in that same evening....

Walking in casually, watching as everyone clearing your path, rendering such obedience and courtesy as you walked past the large frenzy of dancing fools, you speared the way, looking for the bar. The one thing you needed at this very moment was a drink…..you’ve been through the most emotional turmoil and pain that you never knew existed, all due to missing and yearning for your girlfriend’s…well…your ex-girlfriends roommate…..

It had been weeks since you last saw y/n, all due to the fact that you started to distance yourself from Vicky, trying to find a different avenue of approach in gaining a way to spend time with y/n…but also….how to appeal and expose her to the truth of her obviously unfaithful boyfriend, Samuel. It frustrated you…the way she was still holding on…acting so blindly unaware, for the sake of loyalty and her dignity as a woman….a respectable woman. It was all something you both, loved and grew frustrated over. Why couldn’t she just break it off with him so you could be with her?

‘I want her….I want her so badly….I’m going insane…..I can’t stop thinking about her….I can’t stop imagining her……I need her…..’

Pausing midway, you take out your phone from the inner pocket of your blazer jacket and text Jake of his whereabouts. After hitting ‘send’, you raise your face once more and continue to walk in a stoic manner.

The guys all admired while the girls swooned, as usual.

You didn’t dress up often, but whenever the occasion called for it, you knew how to make yourself look presentable. Of course, a casual range of attire was preferable, but there was no harm in dressing up occasionally as long as you could still maintain a sense of comfort. Piercing through the opening path the crowd had cleared for you, the whispers of their esteem regard and adoration buzzed through your ears.

……………..

“Oh my God that’s Ethan Lee….my God he looks so fine.”

“Girl I heard he stopped talking to his girlfriend…you know? The pretty one….Vicky.”

“No shit???”

“Yeah, she was talking to some of her friends on how he stopped returning her calls and texts and apparently they hadn’t even seen each other for weeks now….this might be your chance.”

“Oh my gosh I wish….he looks so cold though.”

“Girl of course he does….that’s Ethan….”

“Bro….Ethan Lee is here. Move out of the way, you don’t want to be in that man’s way.”

“Who is Ethan? Dude that guy is tall as fuck…..look how gigantic he is compared to everyone else.”

“Yea man…and don’t let his slender frame fool you…man’s got a body harder than a rock. He does so much physical training for like..sports, dance, and even rugby….don’t ever cross paths with him unless you’re in his circle of friends.”

“Ethan looks handsome like always but I love his outfit…my gosh….he looks so sexy in black.”

“The blazer, the fitted tee….the skinny jeans…..the combat style boots and that black hat…oh my God let me just have one night with him….”

“I don’t recall if I’ve ever seen Ethan without his hat….you can never see his eyes.”

“Might be a good thing….I heard that the dude looks pretty damn scary without it. But the girls say he looks handsome too…so I guess it really depends on how he wants to look at you.”

“Move out of the way! Ethan is coming….”

………………

‘Hmph…..fucking idiots. Whatever….just let me get a drink and drown out my soul…..’

Turning the corner of the corridor, you enter the wide-open kitchen, where the island displayed various bottles of liquor and beer.

‘Yup…. let’s go. Get it all out of your system, big guy.’

Delicately grabbing the bottle closest to you, while the other snagged a red solo cup from the stack nearby, you gently poured yourself a drink. You hadn’t realized that under the dim lighting, the one thing causing you such despair was standing a few feet away across the island. It wasn’t until you tilted your head back, sipping on the hard taste of pure liquor that you saw her through the narrow opening of your eye…..looking at you…

‘Oh my God…she’s here….she actually came….Vicky must have made her come out…God fucking dammit she’s so damn beautiful…..she’s wearing black….a little black dress….holy fuck her body…I can see her curves….she’s….her hair is down….she really is a goddess…..her eyes….her lips….fuck….is she wearing a different shade of lipstick? Its darker…it’s much bolder than usual…it’s a different shade of red….its like the color of….blood….and is that…..is she wearing a choker?......My God…how do I get this girl for keeps? How do I fucking get her and make her mine? I need her….I…I ….fuck…I’m losing it.’

You watched with wide eyes as you lowered your cup….you could feel that you were staring at her with peak amusement and a sickening glare. You felt the stretch in the corners of your lids the more you remained observant of her motions as she gently waves at you…smiling….softly laughing with that sweet…..sweet look in her eye.

Calming your nerves as you walk up to her, you subtly cleared your throat just before you presented yourself in front of her.

“Y/n, how have you been?”

“I’m doing good, how have you been?”

‘Fuck…there she goes again…she’s smiling at me…..she’s so gentle and soft and looking at me with those fucking gorgeous eyes….why?…how?....How……?.....Y/n…..don’t do this to me girl…..don’t do anything else…..I’m….I’m reaching a breaking point……don’t make me do it…..don’t make me into the monster that I’m about an inch away from becoming……God dammit…you’re a fucking wonderment……’

She didn’t do anything…she didn’t need to….in fact….she didn’t have to try….she didn’t have to go out of her way to bring out the demons…..

By just being herself….by simply moving as she slightly tilted her head and gazed at you with that sweet fucking smile of joy in seeing you again…..you watched as the fate of wonder and magic occurred when a piece of her front hair became stuck on her face, the ends edged into the very outer corner of her mouth from when she sipped on her drink……she looked so carefree….so alluring…..beautiful…..just everything a man could wish for in a woman…..

You couldn’t contain yourself. There was an urge within you to find any reason whatsoever to touch her, even though she looked so beautiful with that piece of hair delicately draping across her cheek…..you wanted to touch both it and her skin.

The sense of desire within you caught your breath….you couldn’t respond to her…..not right away at least. With a faint gulp, one that she did not notice, you reached up and gently caressed her soft skin as your thumb moved the strands away….it felt like silk while her skin felt like soft chiffon……you even took it a step further by tucking the strands around another longer piece of hair that framed her face, to keep it in place. She didn’t seem to mind….or maybe, she was too shocked or star-stunned to say anything….because her eyes looked at you with a sense of wideness and curiosity that you just wanted to break and cradle at the same time. That was the moment when you knew….

‘…..That’s it…..I can’t anymore…..y/n……you’re mine. You belong to me…..its all your fault……you’re going to figure that out later on. For now, let’s make it happen baby….’

It took everything within you to refrain from displaying the eerie smile you felt creeping along the corner’s of your mouth as you suppressed the urge to plaster it before her. Because at that moment, you began planning….you began to create ideas and methods to take her away….to keep her and make her yours.

‘…First….we’ll get rid of boyfriend…..he’s no good anyhow. Second, get you ready to come far away with me……we’ll get you to do all your classes online…maybe even enroll you to a different school…..you’ll come with me…..I’ll start building you a house….I’ll make it beautiful but also….barricaded….its going to take some time for you to get used to the new surroundings….but in the meantime…we’ll make sure your pretty little self doesn’t escape through any window or door….no house already established is going to do….I’ll start from scratch and have one built….just for you…..it will be pretty…..it will have everything you need….everything you want…..along with everything I want…which is simply you of course.’

All throughout the night, you developed more into your plans and began to focus on how and when you should act. You started to research and find Samuel’s social media accounts, meticulously gaining the details surrounding his location, school, and his friends….you knew from the way he had been delaying in his communication with her that he was up to no good….one man to another, it wasn’t hard to see the signs of infidelity, yet you didn’t mind, it made your job easier, for now all you had to do was expose him…and with your connections and corrupt nature you were now developing, that wasn’t going to be hard to do at all.

‘Lets see…….who do I know that goes to the same university as good ol’ boy Sammy? Hmm?’

“Hey Heeseung!”

You turned around and saw Jake approaching you from behind. Jake, along with six other members of your inner circle were the only ones you could tolerate and build a bond with since you all grew up together, especially Jake. He was more like a brother than anything else, while the others you considered as family similar to that of cousins. With Jay, Sunghoon, and Sunoo going to an out of state college, Niki and Jungwon still finishing high school, it was a rare but joyful occurrence to see them. At least you got to see Jungwon from time to time since he was participating in the Ace program that allowed him to complete his high school requirements while attending a few college courses at the university you attended.

Watching as your best friend walks up, behind him he had trailing a young woman, she was small and dainty in appearance, dressed in Lolita sense of fashion, yet it was altered to reflect a more matured level in its appearance as displayed by the exposure of skin and cleavage. Hopefully this one was good and not at all like all Jake’s previous girlfriends…

………

“Ethan….dont tell Jake but….I really want to fuck you….you’re so hot.”

“I hear you fuck girls left and right…..do you want to try me? I wont tell Jake.”

“Ethan….please…please don’t tell Jake….but I think I might have a crush on you……what should we do about it?”

……..

Nothing…..do absolutely nothing about it.

‘Fucking whores.’

You couldn’t count how many girls, whether they were dating your friends or not, would come around, expressing their hard lust and desire for you. It was as if a new girl would come around each day, running after you to express their fondness.

If they were single, you may or may not have dabbled in and got yourself some relief from the frustrations of dealing with Vicky’s infidelity, or the others before her. But for the ones that were attempting to meddle with the trust and sanctity of your friendship with Jake…..your cruelty in exposing them knew of no boundaries or limitations.

………

“Fuck off. I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I have a distaste for backstabbers like you.”

“B-but…can we just-“

“I said FUCK OFF….I mean it…..or do I need to SHOW you that I mean it?”

………..

Each one of them would formulate a look of fear as they ran off. Of course, you would expose the truth to Jake, and watch as he would ditch one girl like the last, only to find a new one to fall in love all over again….

You used to wonder…why Jake was so eager to find love….why he was so eager to the point that he was gathering girls by the numbers that outreached the digits you collected yourself. With Vicky being number seven, Jake was sure to be on number fifteen…or maybe it was even higher. You lost count. Either way, it didn’t matter anymore….probably because you now understand what he was looking for….yet he still hadn’t seem to find it….not that you knew of…but you sure as Hell did….

‘Y/n…..’

“Heeseung, this is my girlfriend I told you about, H/N.”

You looked down at the tiny girl, remarking the look of fear she had plastered all over her face. It was something you were used to, and just like all the other times, you stood there, crossing your arms as you impatiently waited for the girl to greet you. Yet she remained hidden behind Jake’s body.

Turning your gaze from the girl over to Jake, you watched as your best friend nervously chuckled and turned to reassure the girl that you weren’t as scary as you had appeared to be.

How strange…for even Vicky and all of your other girlfriends in the past, had all developed a similar sense of fear when initially meeting you. All of them……except one…..y/n….

“Oh my God! Oh my God! I know who you are! You’re the pretty girl that everyone talks about, we have the same anthropology class and I never was able to say ‘hi’ because I was always too shy but-…….whoa……you’re even…..super pretty up close……like…..really….pretty….”

Watching as Jake’s girlfriend swoons and gawks over y/n….your y/n….. you rested your back against the counter as your crossed arms tightened into the fabric of your blazer. You shift your face to look at the floor as your cap covered every detail of your face, taking advantage, you released that smile that you refrained from displaying earlier. You saw a glimpse of it from the corner of your eye, how Y/n took notice of your mannerism, which had only made you smile even wider as you let out your deep chuckle, furthering the downward tilt of your chin so she couldn’t see much more than she had already witnessed…..

HER PERSPECTIVE – MGR, Chapter 8.

Ethan leaned back slightly to rest against the counter behind him, crossing his arms and tucking in his chin. Despite how the angle of his hat covered his entire face when he dipped it down, you saw a tiny glimpse in the showing of teeth as he gave out a small chuckle. He nodded his head, looking as if he felt Emily’s reaction was warranted, before bringing his head back upright, licking his lips and peering his gaze off to the side. You hear the girls calling to you, bidding you to come over to them. You excused yourself and gave a friendly so-long gesture to the boys as you walked over to the group.

Watching her migrating over to the group of girls, those of Vicky’s posse, you sighed out as you calmed yourself internally.

‘Soon…..soon pretty baby…’

Throughout the night, you zoned out and locked yourself up internally as you ran through every minute detail in your plans to get y/n. Yet the moment you caught the view of Gabe and his friend harassing her, you felt a rage of violent emotion take over like never before. It was no news to anyone of how protective you were with Vicky and your previous girlfriends, at least you were before finding out of their lewd behaviors behind your back. Still, no one could deny that you had a possessive streak, and depending on if they were worthy of it or not, it would come out. Yet when it came to y/n…. your beautiful girl….it was no question that the level of possessiveness you developed was that of fierce danger to anyone who made her feel or look uncomfortable.

There she stood, so pretty…so sensual…alluring…beautiful….sexy…just…everything you wanted and desired….and there he was with his hands touching her. You watched as she displayed hesitancy and backed away, trying to create distance without causing a scene, all because of Vicky’s connection with that idiot.

Y/n may be too gentle and concerned over her relationship with Vicky, and opting to do her best to avoid tension or add any strain between herself and your ex-girlfriend….but for you, you could give two fucks. It wouldn’t have mattered if you were still dating Vik, the moment you saw that boy put his filthy hands on y/n, who was clearly and obviously displaying discomfort, not at all wanting the physical contact, it was left without question.

Like clockwork, your body moved, and you found yourself strutting in a fierce manner, increasing speed, rage, intensity, and chaos as you felt the extension of your hand lunging forward in a snapping motion. The things you have learned from years of sports, dancing, anaerobic and aerobic exercise, you applied the teachings of your great mentor to utilize the same force that was merely gained for sportsmanship and dance, yet here you are using it against bone and flesh….and you loved every single second of it knowing that she was now safe.

But your joy fell apart quickly as you watched her, she was clearly overwhelmed by the harassment, and she took her leave.

‘Oh my poor baby….he really made you feel so uncomfortable….I promise that will never happen again…..I’m here….I’ll be here forever.’

She was fast in her departure, and you were hesitant in chasing after her as you were finding yourself reaching heightened levels of insanity for this girl throughout the night. After a few moments of basking in the house, with the lack of her presence, you found yourself moving again.

‘Fuck….did I go to far? Did I scare her? Or did she leave because of the discomfort of that idiot? What do I do? I need to be more careful if I’m going to make this all work…..do I start with my plans tonight? Will I have to be more forceful now? ’

You quickly exited the frat house, pulling out your keys as you looked around to see if you could catch sight of her. But a sense of sadness and emptiness hits you once you found that she was nowhere in sight.

Remaining stagnant, another twenty minutes or so went by before you started up your car and made your way back to your room, when the memorized image of Y/n’s face in discomfort flashed in your memory, and the need to console her was too pungent for you to ignore. So, you drove past your frat house, and made your way to the dorms, knowing full well she'd be there.

‘Fuck! I should have gone straight after her….’

Once you had parked your car, you were hesitant to move. Instead, you remained seated and continued to observe the lot, occasionally looking up to the upper end of the building, observing the window to her room. It remained dark, with no sign of life. You contemplated on whether she even came back to her room or not, but a feeling deep inside your brain told you that she was in there. Taking one last glance at her window, you took your keys and got out of the car.

Entering the dorm was the most depressing feeling you’ve felt in your life, as you walked over towards Vicky’s side of the room just to observe from afar, studying the side belonging to the one that you wanted to be with.

The light coming from her phone casted a cone of brightness that blocked the view of her face, you walked over and took in a hazy view of her, appearing to be asleep.

Initially, you picked up the phone to shut off the screen, when the face of it snagged your attention as the verbiage of an email outlined the end of the one thing she had solely been keeping alive. Even though you had a gut feeling based on his inactivity, it still was shocking that he was willing to let go of something otherworldly such as her…..and yet….you were happy….

‘This is…..’

Realizing that she was in pain that you could only imagine, the prospect of viewing her as someone who is free for your pursuance did not come into mind, not at all. Instead, you took a moment and looked down at her lying form as her phone remained in your hand.

The shape of her body was transcendental, the smooth and delicate curves from her hips, waistline, and her breasts contrasted from her surroundings. The crease of her cleavage cradled lightly by the natural rest of her arms as she lay on her side with a very faint curve of the fetal position. The length of her hair lay draped all around her enhanced her despair as you could assume by the placement, that she threw herself on the bed as she cried, evident by the wet streams that decorated her face. For the first time, you saw Y/n broken.

You read the contents of the email, not giving any second thought that it was a total invasion of her privacy, it didn’t matter. Now that she was in the state of abysmal pain, you intended to fix it, to fix her.

‘I…..she’s here….free for me to take now….that saves me a lot of trouble…..is fate on my side with this? Everything is just becoming too easy for me to get her…almost as if my thoughts are all being answered in my favor…..I don’t have to deal with Samuel…..i don’t have to do anything…..except just take her…..I can……take her….right now….’

Looking down at her, you kept her phone in your hand as you observed her form. You could tell she wanted to refrain from having all forms of communication, which was more than enough reason for her to lay with eyes shut, yet clearly not asleep.

Your eyes remained glued to her as the phone screen illuminates your face. With your sights remained gazing on her miraculous form, you shut off the phone and placed it back on the nightstand.

‘Let me fix you…. pretty thing….I’m here now…..we don’t have to go through the trouble of the initial plan…..all I have to worry about now….is fixing you….taking care of you….and loving you….so let me do it.’

And you did. It was something unreal but the most memorable event in your life.

It had seemed like it all had happened just yesterday...yet to your everlasting amazement, the events and occurrences that ultimately brought you to the state of happiness had happened nearly one full year ago.....one year since you met and fell in love with her....

It wasn’t up until recently, when you found out after looking through her phone that you saw the self-text she sent…..reflecting her love for you all along, since the moment she had met and bonded with you, before the events of the frat party.

‘We were truly meant to be together….she and I….’

Pondering and reflecting the flashbacks on memory lane, a ding from your phone interrupts the flow of your mind.

Checking on who texted you, you saw it was from Jake. He sent you a link to an article regarding the ‘Campus Killer’, it would so appear the authorities finally found him….dead beyond recognition.

“Breaking news! Serial rapist and murderer known as ‘Campus Killer’ remains found nearby central city.

Authorities were alerted of scattered remains, believed to be that of the serial killer that had preyed and murdered more than twenty female college students attending *your college name*. Police have stated that the body was horribly disfigured and mutilated and was scattered throughout various regions of the city. Authorities couldn’t immediately identify through plain sight on who the remains belonged to, yet it was thanks to dental records that they were able to clearly ascertain that the body parts belonged to that of the deceased, whose identity is none other than J. Dahmer, the man who had earned the notorious reputation of being the Campus Killer. Police are urging for everyone to remain alert and continue to remain inside the safety of their own homes as they exhaust all efforts into investigating into this matter and finding out just who, was responsible for the murder of the serial killer that plagued the city.”

……………

Another ding comes in, you smirked as you read Jake’s second message.

Reading Jake’s text, that same eerie smile made it’s re-appearance on your face. You felt it. For not only did you have y/n here, safe and sound, but you managed to get rid of that nuisance of a man that had crossed the line.

Could anyone blame you for taking her away? After the series of harmful events that took place against her…..what would have happened had you not been there each time? What if you hadn’t been there the night at the movie theater, when that man had his sights set on her…as his next target…his next victim. She didn’t even notice until you both took your seats in front of the wide screen, she was far too oblivious with her surroundings…too careless. It didn’t make you feel comfortable enough to just have her in emotionally and mentally, you needed to have her by your side…permanently.

Initially, you merely took notice of his presence, but the moment you recalled of the reporting’s concerning a drifting serial killer… one that had constantly dawned a brown, camping jacket and was constantly seen lingering around the surrounding area, preying on young female college students, you knew….you had a feeling the moment you helped y/n get out of the car and walked across the parking lot….that it was him who was studying her from the side of the massive parking lot.

There was no way…..

The moment you saw that man trailing behind, following and eyeing her as you both entered the theater, there was no possible way you could ever let that go. That man…how dare he? How dare he even think about hurting her? How dare he look at y/n…..and thought of doing such terrible and unspeakable things to her body…..how dare he even wonder how she would look and sound like at the brink of ultimate fear….while he tortures her…..and mutilates her body like he did with all his previous victims ….HOW DARE HE?

‘….Him?.....He has the audacity to look at the one and only thing that is meaningful to me….the only thing that is worth all of the high Heaven’s, right down to the lowest parts of the Earth….he had the nerve….to look at her….and yearned to take her away from me?....I knew what he was thinking….I knew the images that was going through his mind when he saw her……and it’s bringing out the worst in me……he wanted to hurt her….make her scream….tear her flesh…cut her bones…..and take her last breath….all for the sake of his sick and twisted pleasure of seeing how she would react while he cuts her up and use whatever tools of torture to stain her blood with…..I refuse to let him…or anyone else get away with even just the thought of hurting her…. someone like him…with what he was planning on doing…does not deserve to live….or to dream of her…’

So, you made sure of it…. leaving not even a single bit of evidence behind…and paying off a multitude of authorities using a middle man, all of which would allow you to remain untraceable and to prevail while that man you murdered remains left behind; all leads falling to an unsolved case, which will be forever hidden and forgotten about. After all…..whose going to care about a dead serial killer?.....Despite the fact that it required the mind of a killer to eradicate another, as far as you and the world were concerned, you were a hero.

But not to her…..

Not knowing of the troubles that had surrounded her…..of what you did for her out of love, she only sees the flaws of your extreme nature…..your nature of wanting to keep her safe and forever well.

HER PERSPECTIVE -

Five months ago....

“W-what is it? Why are you…..Ethan?”

“Heheheheheh…..wrong name….y/n.”

‘……What?.....What does he mean?.......his face….he’s….he’s Ethan but…..but how?...Why?....I don’t……I don’t understand……what’s happening?....Why is he leaning in….why is he smiling at me like that if he’s not…..if he’s not Ethan….then….who is he?”

“….I ….I don’t understand…” you forced a soft smile…yet it reeked of fear and confusion as you gazed directly into his eyes with your glistening and saddened ones. “……W-what do you mean?......Ethan?.......if you’re not….but you look….you are him….your face… you are Ethan….aren’t you?” your voice piques with the utmost sincerity and hope as you desperately wished for him to nod and reassure you that he was Ethan, that maybe he was trying to play a harmless prank on you.

Yet, to your deepest fear, you watched as he displayed a closed mouth smirk and gently shook his head while his eyes displayed that usual sadistic glare…..his Ethan glare…

“….if you’re not Ethan….then…..who are you?....please tell me that….you are him…..you’re scaring me…. I feel like when you say that you’re not…why do I feel like I don’t know you?” you felt the tears beginning to build up in your eyes as you expressed hopeful mercy in the tone of your voice.

Leaning in, he kisses you deeply…..passionately…..it was both soft and rough…it was both Heeseung and Ethan….

With that insane eerie countenance you were so used to seeing…..that demeaning force in his aura, and that same look of malice and eerie display of affection that was none other than what you had known to be as Ethan, he softly speaks against your lips. His words caused your heart to skip a beat as the state of your nearly to full nude body remains plastered against his broad frame by his hold on you. With a tightened embrace, he smirks mischievously as he chuckles out….

“You know me……you do……don’t be scared….it’s me….it’s Heeeeeeeeeseuuuuuuung….pretty baby.”

................

"Y/n......."

"...That voice....Eden? Is that you? Whats going on? I'm so confused...and scared....what's happening? What is Ethan talking about?....He's Heeseung?.....what...then who is Ethan? Who was he all this time?"

"Y/n......"

"Yes?"

"..........run."

Authors note: weeeeellll..llol I promise yall it gets good...and better. lol. I'll see yall in chapter 21 ;)

Taglist: @deobitifull; @solstramaii; @vampiregirl215; @nshmrarki; @enhypen14; @iamliacamila; @lisaaannna; @nikstrange; @jaehaki; @luv-enhy-skz33; @silcry@honeysjae; @crackedcameraa; @stinkmonkey ; @baekxo07@raishaii@yangjungwon33 @lhspeachie ; @differentchildwombat ; @prettykia ; @kimsseonu ; @stvrryhee ; @en-thralled ; @hoonzdzbl ; @yuppppp ; @jinniespuppy ; @browsehnnie @prettykia @lprww @they2luv1naia @ellixqz@mimimovv @stvrryhee @moonmoongi @seungjiseyo @csmicvrse @yohanabanana @heeshees

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livvyliveslife · 2 months

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reintroducing myself

Hey, it’s been 3 months since i’ve started tumblr, and i’ve remained pretty consistent if i do say so myself, i have a lot of new faces on this blog and i was just wanting to reintroduce myself to everyone so you guys have a bit of a better understanding of where im coming from

My names Liv, obviously haha. i’m 20 years old and i am neurodivergent, specifically, while not officially diagnosed, i’m very very likely to be audhd, getting a diagnosis in the UK has been proven to be a little inaccessible. not that it’s impossible but it’s long through the NHS and expensive to do privately. i hope that once i have enough money to cover my diagnosis i will.

i made this blog because i for the longest time have felt alone in the ways that ive been experiencing this life, nothing ever made sense and the idea of being called sensitive pains me more than anything, its all i’ve ever known. i’ve spent a lot of my life gaslighting myself into believing im functioning like everyone else is. But in the end i know im not, because if i was then i wouldn’t feel such shame and guilt for being who i am, of course they’re not my thoughts and im not my thoughts but navigating the thoughts can be so exhausting.

im currently studying forensic psychology through an online university that makes it easier for me to manage my time, even though that’s a tiny bit of a lie because i also work 40 hours a week, as well as live on my own in a shared accommodation with people i can’t really talk to (language barrier + age differences) so time management is something i really struggle with and it makes me feel a little overwhelmed but im just taking every day as it comes. i have a lot of anxiety about the future only because ive got such big goals for myself and for the career i want.

i never really had anyone to guide me through the big feelings i’ve felt, over the years. but i felt as though making a blog to share how i try to navigate through the struggles i have, i could maybe inspire others maybe idk haha. i’m a high functioning audhder who is unmedicated and not even diagnosed so if there’s anyone else like me out there feel free to reach out to me, we’re trying and that’s all that matters, we have time and we are strong enough to face anything x

#becoming that girl #self care #self love #self development #that girl #clean girl #it girl #pink pilates princess #self improvement #girl blogger #adhd #audhd #autism

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choicesficwriterscreations · 8 months

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September 2023 WOTM: lilyoffandoms

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @lilyoffandoms. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

This month's Writer of the Month was selected a little differently than normal. We announced that we would be selecting the WOTM from the participants in last month's Writer Appreciation Event. But the eleven writers involved all agreed the honor belonged to Lily. Lily has been a staple in the Choices community for so long, and they continuously go out of their way to support creators and spread positivity while continuing to inspire and create themselves. We couldn't think of anyone better suited for the honor, so please join us in congratulating Lily... September's Writer of the Month!

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Name: lilyoffandoms Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Lily is fine (they/them preferred)

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

Best guess would be back in January of 2018. It was a joke at first since a friend saw one of their god-awful ads and said we should both try it. Next thing you know, we were both arguing over which books were better and regretting our decision to start. Though their opinions on what constitutes good books are almost as bad as the Choices ad that got us to jokingly play (and I say this most lovingly because they are awesome and I love them). I started with Most Wanted, and my friend started with The Freshman.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

Oh gods! I joined back in March 2019. I know I’m a Tumblr baby by most everyone’s standards, but that feels like a really long time. I joined when Open Heart book one was released. I had lurked, reading fanfics, for a few months before biting the bullet and creating a blog and actually posting. Only joined because I was taking my editor’s advice and writing something entirely outside my norm to break a particularly bad case of writer’s block. Thought I might as well share those silly things if I was taking the time to write them. Maybe someone would enjoy them. Never did plan on sticking around, but found so many lovely people that I’ve come to call friends.

3- How did you pick your blog name?

It was lilyofchoices. My name + Choices because I am super creative like that with those sorts of naming things 😅 I changed it to lilyoffandoms when I left the Choices fandom for a bit. I’ve thought about changing it more times than I can count but I can’t bring myself to actually follow through on it. How do y’all’s change your blog name with each new book release? You are a crazy different breed of tumblr and you fascinate me.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

I deleted the first one years ago. It was my first drabble. Currently, as it stands, the first thing in my archive is this post about Desire and Decorum, and it still makes me giggle.

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I’ve only been writing fanfic since I joined Tumblr. I never really tried writing fanfic before that. Some nonfiction personal things before that but never anything like this world. It's been an adventure, to say the least haha

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

My favorite book is probably Blades of Light and Shadow, book one, but there are plenty that are really close behind. This is also the book I’d say I enjoy writing for the most because it is my favorite book, contains my favorite LI, and has one of my favorite OCs (Maiele) in it.

Though recently, I’ve been writing more for Crimes of Passion because it's more of a challenge for me. It's a different vibe between the MC and the LI and it's one I don’t often explore so I’m here for that right now. But I have a sneaky suspicion once Blades 2 drops I’ll be back on my bullshit with that again.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

I don’t think it exists on this site anymore. Maybe in someone’s reblog? I still have it in my files. It was an Ethan x MC drabble featuring my MC, Merida. I still like it. I’d not change it cuz I’m a firm believer in writing it and don’t look back haha.

This is it:

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to form in his eyes. There it was. He had told her. Dr. Banerji was dying and Ethan was at a loss as to what was ailing his mentor and friend. Ethan stared at the young woman in front of him and then to the floor. He cleared his throat and made a small motion to turn back into Naveen’s room but froze instantly the moment he noticed her take a step towards him.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him, wishing to take away all of his pain, all of his loneliness. Silently willing him to understand that she cared for him. Cared deeply for him and much more than she should. “Ethan. I’m so sorry,” she whispered, one hand stroked through his hair while the other grasped his neck and slowly bent his head toward her shoulders as she raised herself to her tiptoes to meet him halfway.

He tensed upon feeling her arms around him. Arms, he thought to himself, that he had imagined holding him for a number of weeks now. Ever since that night spent sitting up with her watching little baby Ethan. “Merida,” he sighed as he gradually relaxed into the embrace.

She didn’t let up on the hug, squeezing him to her just a bit more tightly. God, she had wanted to comfort him when Dolores died but she didn’t know how he would respond. Now, he was facing the possibility of another friend dying and she couldn’t help herself.

He responded to the increased pressure of her hug and tightened his own hold upon her. Finding himself tracing circles up her spine and imagining what it would feel like to move his hands to tease along the skin of her back where her pants met her shirt.

Her breath caught when she felt his hands move lower. No longer making gentle movements along her spine but increasing their pressure upon her body, nearly massaging their way lower. She brought one of her own hands around to his chest, lightly bunching his white coat in her fist to try and pull him closer to her.

A loud crash echoed down the hall. “Shit!” a construction worker cursed. The two doctors jumped back from each other both staring into each other’s eyes seeming to question if they had both felt the same in the other’s arms. She blushed slightly. “I should see to my other patients. Dr. Banerji’s condition stays between us. Understand, Rookie?” he stated, his eyes narrowing. She nodded and he turned and marched down the hall.

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I love asking this question of others but don’t like it asked of me. I’m so bad at self-rep and advertising my wares 😂 But if I had to pick one, I’d say this one. It was so far outside my comfort zone when it came to writing that I almost abandoned it two paragraphs in. But I’m a stubborn person, and I refused to let it beat me. Plus, I had been wanting to write a noir fic for this book since it was released. Furthermore, I adore Hayden’s work too much not to gift a little something back for all the art he shares with us, so I knew I just had to make it work.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

I didn’t expect last year’s Luck of the Draw fic to garner much love. Attention? Maybe. But not love and definitely not the response I got. I really enjoyed writing that one.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Fluff. I’m a sucker for happy-ever-afters and an endless hopeless romantic. Give me the fluff. All the fluff.

I pull a lot of what I toss into my silly drabbles from real life. Always been a believer in writing, most often what you know, and sprinkle that all with a dash of the stuff you don’t as a treat. And my life is pretty fluffy thanks to my incredible partner.

However, I do so adore angst I’m just not able to write it often because it hurts more to write. But I’ll always always read it. That pain is *chef’s kisses*

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Maiele, my Blades MC, is most definitely me coded. His whole personality, his choice of partner when it comes to personality, his constant flirting with said partner, his sense of humor, his lack of a filter most times, it’s all pretty much me. Gabriel, my CoP MC, is me when it comes to romantic gestures and Valentine’s Day. I may be a romantic, but I get weird when it’s aimed at me 😂

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Editing. I refuse to do it. I hate it with the burning light of a thousand suns. Those of you that manage to edit your fics have all my admiration. I honestly don’t know how y’all do it. Doesn’t it just bore you to no end?

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

I have more drafts than I care to admit. I would like to complete a series I started long ago for Ethan x Merida, but I don’t know if I’ll ever do that. I’d settle for finishing one of my drafts 😅

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

Nope, haha, I’d not be able to do that. If I were that brave, I’d recommend this one maybe. I do so love Flynn. Or this one, mostly because I do so love the idea of Gabriel just pouting on the couch.

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

Not really. I mean all of em probably. I read a lot of books in a lot of genres. Mostly I use my drabbles as morning warm ups for my day job.

There are definitely fanfic writers I admire around here that encourage me to share my silly things everyday. Especially all those queer writers out there that have a rather thankless existence sometimes around here but keep sharing their stories! They are all my heroes!!

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Any and all of my Maiele and Tyril stories. I just love them sooooo much!!

17- Do you write original fiction?

Yes, but until recently, I wrote mostly nonfiction.

I do have a fic I began a few years back when I was still teaching. I had a student who hated their writing class, so I promised to write a short story alongside them and read it to the class like all the students had to if they gave it an honest go.

They did and so I did too, and I was asked the following year to do it again by more students and so I continued the same story. I’ve since continued that same fic, and maybe someday I’ll actually go looking to publish it.

18 - What other hobbies do you have?

I love the outdoors. Hiking, spelunking, kayaking, gardening, camping, anything and everything outdoors. My other favorite hobby, which I've done for years and years, is fencing. I still am part of a club and teach a few levels.

19 - What’s your favorite emoji?

😅 because it’s legit my state of existence at this point in life.

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I want to send a special shout-out to all the absolutely lovely participants of August’s writer appreciation event I hosted. I still cannot believe y’all did this for me. 😘 These are each of my favorite fics you’ve written. Thank you for making our fandom a little brighter each and every day!

@aallotarenunelma Bathed in Sunlight @coffeeheartaddict2 Moths to a Flame @karahalloway A Leviathan Surprise @jerzwriter A Mother's Journal @ladylamrian Ma Cherie @mydemonsdrivealimo Run, Run @peonyblossom We're Gonna Get Married @petiteboheme Familia @storyofmychoices Passing Shower @tessa-liam All is Fair in Love and War @trappedinfanfiction What's In a Name? Lily's Top Three Commissions can be found here:

Crimes of Passion by @javsarts

A Year of Kisses by various artists: @lethendralis-paints @cashweasel @kundool @deheerkonijn @javsarts @weetlebeetle @kollapsar @mooreaux @rosefuckinggenius @/ArtbyAinna (IG) @littlestpersimmon @callmebeem

Trystan x Noel by @rosefuckinggenius

#cfwc writer of the month #playchoices #choices the stories you play #lilyoffandoms #choices fic writers creations #choices fanfiction #choices fanart

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enby-wrights · 11 months

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(warning i do not understand how tumblr works i have been on here for like two months and gathered absolutely nothing so i apologize if i did something wrong with like tags and the like? also i think i kind of sound like a youth pastor towards the end of this but it’s okay i do what i want. anyways)

greetings marble hornets fanbase i just have some (long) thoughts to share on tim and alex :) i have some Mental Health Hot Takes that are not worded well because i wrote this at one in the morning but feel free to read anyways. also i know that the marble hornets mental illness allegory conversation has been done to death but please let me throw in my two cents i am just a little guy and i even said please

in all my six long years traversing the Deep Dark Depths of the marble hornets fanbase, i’ve never been all that interested in exploring any kind of close relationship between alex and tim within the story-- i think 2006 alex comes off as a bit desperate and overbearing, and i think that would have made 2006 tim a little too anxious to attempt to get close to him. it’s just interesting to think that they wouldn’t quite fit together at the only point in their lives where they would have had the chance.

their position in the overall story as narrative foils to one another, however........... now that’s a tasty character dynamic if i do say so myself :) although essentially all of season three revolves around the conflicts between people as they react to the mental illness metaphor operator in their own Fun And Unique ways, alex and tim are undoubtedly the poster children of this concept. both of them begin dealing with almost identical issues, and their reactions to these issues shape their individual narratives in completely opposite directions. i was thinking about it while listening to the podcast great, more tapes today (which if you haven’t listened to it i totally recommend it even though it has been dead for a year) and it’s kind of a really great allegory for the ways in which people’s reactions to experiences with mental illness can either make or break our recovery. as someone who has intentionally made my own recovery worse on multiple occasions out of general manic faux edginess, the parallels kind of hit me really hard

i’m gonna highlight the differences between alex and tim’s reactions to the mental illness metaphor operator using a bullet point list because i’m autistic and all of my thoughts occur in bullet point lists actually

during the filming of alex kralie’s marble hornets, as their symptoms are both beginning to set in, we see alex alone incredibly often. tim, on the other hand, is always seen surrounded by other people (this also comes down to the contexts in which they were filming but whatever it’s artistic framing or something idk)

tim seeks medical attention. duh. i think it’s probably pretty safe to assume that alex did not seek any sort of medical attention for his mental health issues leading up to all that murder, otherwise there maybe wouldn’t have been murder

aside from seeking medical help, we also see tim seeking help (or at least visibility) from his peers. entry #66 is just tim yelling at jay about how scared he is. and even if jay isn’t really much help, he can at least see where tim is coming from in the future and has the opportunity to act accordingly (he does not take this opportunity but hey at least it’s there. as alex’s condition worsens, all we see is him lying to his loved ones about what’s going on. which is bad.

alex constantly walks in anger and fear. tim doesn’t stifle his emotions (i.e. him beating the shit out of jay), but he also acts logically and doesn’t dwell on them for too long

by season three alex is just fucking living all alone in the woods (which if you didn’t know is the opposite of seeking help)!! not only is he running around in an echo chamber but he chose to bring a gun into the echo chamber with him which is a really great way to become more mentally ill. tim on the other hand has a job, and a life, and people in his life who at least care enough about him to call him and see if he’ll be at work on time. he keeps busy and he interacts with the world around him and even when he’s having to constantly check in with his doctor to make sure he stays okay he is out and about and being a person

and it’s a weird thing to think about because when i’m at my worst psychologically i tend to bring a (METAPHORICAL) gun into my own echo chamber and sulk around in there until i start to believe some pretty shitty things about the world around me

but on the few occasions where i do manage to reach for help and respect my feelings while still existing outside myself it’s a miraculous feeling. i get better. and then i get worse again, because mental illness is a bitch, but it gets easier and easier to reach out every time.

and i think that’s part of the reason why alex gets eaten up by the idea of the operator while tim doesn’t. tim has experience with getting help, and he’s clearly developed a skill for taking care of himself. he just got lucky that his first time dealing with a mental health crisis wasn’t as fucked up as alex’s.

anways tldr alex kralie is my new example for what not to do in my mental health recovery journey also he’s a bitch

(ps i don’t understand how i got to the end of this rant without mentioning masky a single time but i promise he fits into the mental illness allegory somewhere probably maybe)

#marble hornets #alex kralie #tim wright

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accirax · 2 months

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DRDT Secret Swap AU: For Better and Worse

The following is an ask sent to me that, while numerically present in my inbox, is invisible and inaccessible, and thus, I was only able to read it through its corresponding notification email. Tumblr be a functional website challenge; level impossible.

What a great question! Up to this point, I’ve been more of an AU enjoyer than an AU creator (other than the BNHA thing), so this will be an exciting foray into the realm of possibility! The task of creating both the best and worst outcome also provides a lot to think about when it comes to characterization. I’m excited to get talking about this! But first, some rules.

(And the usual CW for DRDT spoilers, as well as mentions of murder, suicide, self harm, eating disorders, and implied homo/transphobia. You know, standard business for DRDT secret discussion.)

To keep things simple, I’m going to be assuming that the true owners of the secrets are as follows:

While I’m by no means asserting that this interpretation of whose secret is whose is 100% accurate, it’s what I see widely agreed upon by the fandom, and what I currently believe myself. Having to factor in a bunch of different permutations of secret distribution seemed terribly complicated, so I decided to avoid it. If anybody disagrees with where I’ve placed any of the secrets, please just consider it as another facet of the alternate universe.

Additionally, I’ve kept up the “rule” that no one is allowed to receive their own secret. I’m also assuming that everything is the same up until when MonoTV hands out the motives, such that Xander and Min are still dead. However, a different distribution of secrets could have changed the details of the Chapter 2 murder, so I kinda have to speak about it in hypotheticals. I was just talking about how I didn’t want to make things needlessly complicated, so I’m not throwing in a bunch of speculation about how the secrets may have factored into the AU killer’s motives when I can’t even say for certain who the canonical killer was.

I also decided to interpret the prompt as “what’s the best/worst overall shuffle” as opposed to “who is the best/worst recipient for each individual secret.” The latter seemed like it might repeat characters too many times, and “the ch2 secrets [getting] swapped in a different way” implied to me that each character was still limited to receiving one secret. Hopefully that’s what you were going for with your ask!

Okay, I think that’s it. Let’s get started with the best case scenario, given that I think that’ll be easier. I’ll go through the characters’ secrets in the order they’re listed in on the board, so that it’ll hopefully be easier to follow along.

The Good Timeline

Eden receives Levi’s secret

If someone was going to have remorse for the remorseless killer, I think it would be Eden. Even if the concept of someone killing in cold blood might frighten Eden, the pair is already off to a good start with the conversation they shared at the beginning of Chapter 2. Eden knows a bit more about Levi’s family situation (which may have been the cause of his callous killing) and how he is trying to be a good person, even if he feels like he might be failing. Compared to others in the cast, I feel like Eden might be more willing to hear Levi out.

Specifically, we know from canon that (under David’s encouragement, at least) Eden planned to share her secret– which was a pretty severe one already– in a closed environment with just her and the secret’s owner. Of course, we haven’t yet seen from canon how Levi would react to getting assigned this secret, so it’s possible he could flip out in a similar manner to how Arturo did when Eden confronted him. However, I think there’s a good chance that he would be more resigned or neutral, which might also give Eden hope that he isn’t a lost cause… again, under the assumption that he isn't. This secret does have a chance of backfiring, but I’m making the choice to have faith in Levi– much like I think Eden would if she saw his secret!

Nico receives David’s secret

Now this is kind of an unconventional one, but, hear me out.

I don’t know if there really is a “good option” for David’s secret in the sense that I think anyone who would choose to reveal the information to the group would be the type to do so in an accusatory, non-constructive way. Similarly, a lot of people who wouldn’t reveal the secret might face problems if it caused them to quietly simmer in their distrust. That suppression of emotions could lead to a big blow up in the future.

Because of that, you might be wondering why I didn’t assign this secret to one of my throwaway slots– namely, Xander, Min, or Rose. Well, it’s because I also wanted to consider what would happen if, even in this good universe, some number of students still needed to attend a Class Trial where the secrets are unknown. Certain secrets, if left unassigned, would lead to paranoia and distrust amongst the students. And, by throwing this secret away, this secret could basically never be confirmed as David’s other than by process of elimination or (highly unlikely) self-assignment. Therefore, all of the students would have to assume that anyone whose secret isn't known has a decent chance of believing that everyone exists to be manipulated. In my opinion, that would make productively discussing a murder really difficult.

So, I decided that the best course of action would be to give this secret to the person who would make the smallest deal out of it, and that turned out to be Nico. Nico already believes that socially interacting with other humans is a complicated and confusing process, the rules of which force you into expressing yourself in a specific, “acceptable” way. Basically, I think that Nico might already see a lot of conversation as manipulation, and themselves as the manipulee. The secret says that David is really good at interpreting those rules and acing the bullet points of “acceptable” conversation? No shit, he’s the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker.

I’m not trying to say that Nico is “dumb” enough to not realize that this secret is generally threatening, but I think that, if word of it were to come out, Nico would present it in a subdued enough manner that it wouldn’t make things worse than they need to be.

Hu receives Ace’s secret

Oh boy, this is a dangerous choice given Ace and Hu’s tumultuous relationship. Although, to be fair, I don’t remember exactly how established that rivalry was prior to the distribution of the canonical secrets. To the extent that they didn’t already hate each other to the point of no return, I chose this one because I think that Hu having the context of Ace’s secret might actually help to mend their relationship.

As I said up top, this AU is predicated on Hu having the “hopeless child” secret. Thus, in this AU, we can say for certain that Hu has a prior history of self harm/self destructive tendencies. If hopeless child Hu does turn out to be canon, it would support the theory that part of the reason why Hu won’t share the “harm yourself for fun” secret is because she knows that mental health is a sensitive subject, and doesn’t want to force someone to open up about it. Given that eating disorders are a form of self harm, we can rest assured that this isn’t a secret Hu would share, no matter how much David suggests that she does.

Given Hu’s history, she might be one of the people in this cast who could best understand Ace’s plight. With this additional context, his quest for power over something in his life might feel more sympathetic, and Hu might be able to muster more concern for him. And, I’m not gonna lie, part of this assignment was granted in the slim hope that the Ultimate Mom Friend Hu would be able to make a big grandma-style meal for Ace to enjoy. They could be an improbably wholesome duo if not for… The Circumstances.

Those circumstances won’t fade anytime soon in canon, but exploring hypotheticals like this are the whole reason why AUs exist!

J receives Eden’s secret

Compared to everyone else, Eden’s secret is a pretty nonthreatening one that, especially among this pretty queer cast, shouldn’t raise a whole lot of issues. The biggest problem I can see arising from it is if someone decided to out Eden, sort of like what happened to Nico. Therefore, I wanted to give Eden’s secret to someone who would be unlikely to share it without Eden giving the okay. And, J seemed to fit that description pretty well.

Obviously, some of J’s canon behavior was spurred on by the fact that Arturo non-consensually revealed her secret (which, spoilers, will not be happening in the blessed half of this AU). But, given J’s preference for privacy, I don’t think J would jump to sharing even a “harmless” secret. We directly saw that J only revealed Charles’ secret once he gave express permission for her to do so, which is what I would ideally want for Eden. Eden’s secret being given to a girl who would presumably be cool with her lesbianism is an added bonus to assuage her fears that (straight) girls who know she’s gay wouldn’t want to be her friend.

Unless, of course, J is also a girlkisser… then maybe the motive secrets could turn into a meet-cute…….. (/j)

Rose receives J’s secret

Finally, our first throwaway slot. After what J’s been through, I think she deserves to have her secret not be a topic of discussion at all– or at least not until all of them are listed out on the board.

There is also some logic behind which secret I gave to Rose as opposed to Xander or Min. We didn’t really see this in canon, but if Whit had let his secret go unclaimed, I could see some people being mad at Rose for inadvertently throwing away valuable information. This sentiment would only increase if Rose’s secret was something more relevant to the case at hand. Like, could you imagine how mad Teruko would have been if Rose had received the “murderer without remorse” secret? They could have had the answer to which person among them was a murderer without remorse, but Rose just carelessly threw it away because she was worried about people’s privacy?!

Therefore, I think the best case scenario for Rose is to receive one of the low-stakes secrets. In the case of J’s secret, it’s possible that someone like Arturo would be able to figure out that it was J’s secret without any confirmation from Rose as long as he had the information that someone in the cast was Mariabella’s daughter. No harm, no foul if Rose throws out the secret only for it to be instantly solvable anyway.

By giving J’s secret to Rose, J gets the blessing of privacy for as long as the secrets don’t become public knowledge, but Rose also doesn’t garner any backlash if they do, for one reason or another.

“Xander” receives Arei’s secret

Just to clarify, there isn’t any meaning behind which secret Xander vs Min got; they both just mean that the secret is un-confirmable.

Arei’s secret is a good one to bury because of how easily it can be misinterpreted. From the phrasing of the secret, nobody would know that Arei’s sisters abused her unless Arei told them herself, and without that context, Arei appears quite villainous. Hell, some people believe that learning of this secret was a reason why Levi would have chosen to kill Arei! If this information about Arei just isn’t out there to be known, then nobody could make that fatal oversight.

Also, Arei already knew what the vague contents of her secret would be, presumably without having seen the actual text. In Ace’s flashback, she quotes David’s secret from memory (because she read it), but when she unveils her own secret, she throws in the detail about reform school which isn’t at all present in the secret’s text. I think it was really important for Arei’s development that she had the agency to reveal her secret at her own pace. By making her secret inaccessible, it removes the possibility that someone else would reveal it before she’s emotionally ready.

Arturo receives Min’s secret

Look at me, pairing Arturo and Min together yet again. What is it about these two that causes me to keep coupling them…? Well, at least this time, they’re paired up because they, like, never talk in canon.

Arturo has proven himself to be a problem when it comes to revealing secrets. Even if he hadn’t been handed Miss Rosales’ dirty laundry, I would believe that he would air out the secrets of whichever nobody he learned about simply due to disrespect. Therefore, I think that giving Arturo a secret that really doesn’t matter is the best course of action. Whether he reveals it on the day the motives were distributed or the day of the Class Trial, most people probably wouldn’t make much of a fuss about an already-dead student’s secret, least of all Arturo. If he doesn’t care about what Min was up to, he wouldn’t stir up any drama by revealing or concealing information.

David receives Xander’s secret

Not gonna lie, I mostly gave this one to David as a form of damage control. I don’t know what he’s going to do with the secret he did canonically receive in the future– whether it belongs to Teruko or someone else, or whether he’s dying immediately or in it for the long haul– but giving David the silver bullet of “the killing game is all your fault” seems like way too much power to hand over. With a dead student’s secret, he doesn’t gain much by telling the truth or have much of a basis to execute a good lie.

The elephant in the room, of course, is that David received Xander’s secret, which is all about the tragically heroic backstory that probably led him to find comfort in David’s speeches in the first place. (And it does paint Xander in a decently positive light– “it wasn’t your fault” erases the possibility that Xander killed his family or whatever.) I imagine that, had David received this secret on the first day, basically a little buffering symbol would appear over his head and he would have to go lie down and stare at the piece of paper for a few hours. Or days.

By distracting David, we can hopefully avoid any of the decidedly negative side effects that him attempting to deduce and reveal everyone else’s secrets caused. While everyone else is growing as a person and whatnot, David can just be… looping the Literature Girl Insane MV in his head, or something. Is that really good for him? Probably not, but these are the heights you can reach when you set out to cause problems.

Arei receives Whit’s secret

Arei already didn’t reveal whose secret she had to anyone, as far as we know. So, if she had the secret belonging to Whit, arguably her closest friend at the start of Chapter 2, I really don’t think she would say anything. That’s good for Whit, because, similar to what I said about Arei herself, I think it’s better for him to have the ability to come forth with his secret when the time is right. Anything else and it might shake up his persona too suddenly and send him fight or flight mode.

I think the biggest potential flaw here is that we don’t know how Arei felt about her mom. Arei is willing to go confront other people about their secrets, so if Arei either really loved or really hated her mom, maybe that would lead her to go confront Whit about what his secret meant. And then, that could lead into him deflecting and looking shady.

That’s not really a huge liability to me, though, so I think this one will be fine.

Veronika receives Charles’ secret

Veronika is a weird case, because whether or not she reveals a secret seems to be based solely on entertainment value. In canon, we’ve seen that she hasn’t yet revealed the “hopeless child” secret because, for whatever reasons, she thinks that’ll make the killing game more interesting. But presumably, if she thought that revealing someone’s secret would make the game more interesting instead, she would have done that.

Because Charles doesn’t remember his brother’s death himself, I don’t think Veronika would see much value in holding it over his head, saving it for a dramatic reaction down the road, or whatever the hell she was trying to accomplish by not revealing Hu’s secret. Therefore, I think Veronika would find it most entertaining to see Charles’ reaction to learning about his amnesia, and tell him pretty quickly.

On the surface, that seems bad. However, I actually think that Charles learning about his secret is… for the best? If you assume that Charles is going to have to learn about this factoid someday, it’s probably better for him if he does it before a Class Trial is called, so that he can be in a more stable mental state. It’s also better for him to do it while he has Whit there to support him, and who knows what could happen between those two in future chapters? Much like Arturo’s assignment, we defuse Veronika’s chaotic power with this one, with the added benefit of potentially helping Charles on his journey to self-understanding.

Levi receives Arturo’s secret

Arturo’s secret was a hard one, because I think most people would react to it pretty negatively, especially with the confirmation that it belongs to Arturo of all people from the start. You could leave it with Eden as someone who seemingly didn’t judge, but given how poorly that situation played out in canon, it felt wrong to leave it in her hands.

Therefore, I gave it to someone who could potentially relate: Levi. He, too, came from a tense family background which he had to leave, and as such, he might better be able to put himself in Arturo’s shoes. While it is possible that Levi could resent Arturo for “ruining” a “good(?)” relationship with his sister (given how Levi struggled to coexist with his siblings), I don’t think it would irk Levi so much that he’d take drastic action against Arturo.

At the very least, we saw that Levi didn’t spill the beans about Arei’s similarly anti-sister secret. By that logic, he probably wouldn’t tell anyone about it, possibly including Arturo. In that case, we avoid Arturo blowing up on whoever was unlucky enough to have to break the news. And, even if Levi did tell Arturo, and Arturo decided to attack, I trust that even an injured Levi could defend himself far better than Eden could.

Ace receives Veronika’s secret

I just don’t think anything particularly bad would happen here. When I imagine Ace receiving this secret, I kinda just think of him going, “what the fuck?!”, and then putting the paper away. As someone who cares immensely about his own safety and image, I can definitely see this secret confusing Ace, but I don’t think to a point where it would really mess him up. It might make him think that Veronika is dangerous and weird, but… well, he already thought that.

Speaking of, especially with this information, Ace is too afraid of Veronika to try to bully her in the same way that he did with Nico. I don’t see any reason why Ace would benefit from revealing this secret, so it would likely remain hidden, which is probably for the best. Honestly, I don’t know if Veronika would care if this secret of hers got out, given that the main reason why people think this is hers is because of the similar sentiments that she already shared with Teruko in a public location. But, regardless, it takes away any ammo Ace might have by making his only target someone who he’s too afraid to take shots at.

Teruko receives Hu’s secret

Completing our little triad of sadness, this is the third instance of me giving a secret involving self harm to someone else who engages in self destructive practices– first Hu with Ace, then Ace with Veronika, and now Teruko with Hu. It obviously sucks that there are so many people in this cast who are struggling with this same issue, but I think it works out well to have them overlap. They’re probably the ones who best grasp the severity of each other’s problems, so they understand the gravity of sharing the information and would take steps to avoid doing that unnecessarily.

But, yeah, there wasn’t much of a reason beyond that for me to assign Teruko here. As a further extrapolation of the above point, though, if Teruko decided to ask Hu about her secret in the same way that she did with Rose, maybe Teruko could provide Hu some comfort about the situation and they could become friends.

Although, thinking about it more, that would actually have a decent chance of backfiring, as Hu might not appreciate having to take on the role of the helped as opposed to the helper, and Teruko might freak out if she felt herself letting her walls down around Hu. But that’s only if Teruko chose to talk to her about it, which is dubious in the first place. I don’t think Teruko would intentionally use this as any sort of weapon against Hu, which is the main criteria I was looking for.

Charles receives Rose’s secret

More unproblematic people being unproblematic. I don’t know if anything weird would happen as Charles’ upper-class upbringing came into contact with Rose’s cash-strapped past, but if it did, it would probably be a positive development for Charles. Y’know, like “realizing that it’s not only wealthy academics who can have talent” or “further learning to recognize his privilege and have sympathy for other people.” Much like what Charles canonically did with Eden’s secret, this one would probably go under the public radar until a Class Trial occurred, at which point Charles would reveal it. And, hey, that’s kind of like Rose’s secret’s canonical fate as well.

I also don’t think that we’d run into any trouble with Teruko possibly learning this one from the note that Charles passed her either, because… again, this was Teruko’s canonical secret, and nothing bad happened. Sometimes no reaction is the sweetest reaction of all.

Whit receives Nico’s secret

Yup, like you implied, Whit receiving Nico’s secret would probably be one of the best options for them. It’s not too much of a surprise. Whit seems to be a pretty securely out bi guy, so he would obviously support of Nico’s identity, and possibly even be someone Nico could look up to for being confident in who they are. On top of that, Whit greatly values privacy, and thus wouldn’t go around immediately shouting, “wow, Nico, it’s so awesome that you’re nonbinary!” He’d only do that if Nico wanted him to, after asking them first. I’m not even sure if Whit would contact Nico about it directly, but even if he didn’t, I feel like Whit would try to find ways to subtly encourage Nico so that they would feel safe coming out themselves. At least, that’s what my bias is telling me.

As a side note, I’m still playing with the rule that Arei sees whatever Whit’s secret is over his shoulder, which is actually what gave Nico’s secret the nod here over Eden’s. We saw that Ace, along with some others, were confused about what exactly the text of Nico’s secret meant. Meanwhile, if attached to Eden, her secret is pretty explicitly about her being sexually attracted to women, and therefore homosexual. I’m not at all calling Arei homophobic (in fact, the concept of doing so makes me very uncomfortable, so please don’t joke about it), but given that the two had been fighting beforehand, it’s possible that Arei would have tried to use the content of Eden’s secret against her somehow (but again, not in a homophobic way).

At the very least, Arei would know something about Eden that Eden might not want her to know, which is bad. I’m not sure if Arei would inherently understand Nico’s secret enough to gain anything of use from it, while Whit and his intuition would definitely understand what’s going on.

“Min” receives Teruko’s secret

Here we go; our other throwaway secret! Part of the appeal of leaving this one in the dark is because… well, we don’t know if it’s true. While the secret doesn’t explicitly state that its owner is the mastermind of the killing game, it’s definitely designed to make you think that’s the case. And, uh, I don’t know if Teruko is the mastermind or not. I recently wrote 1000 words about it, which is equal to one picture.

So, let’s explore both avenues. If Teruko isn’t the mastermind, then sharing this secret around is obviously bad. It would cause people to unwarrantedly distrust Teruko, and possibly even cause Teruko to distrust herself. That could impede the progress of Class Trials, if people don’t trust Teruko’s reasoning anymore, and the progress of deducing the actual mastermind. Therefore, by taking this secret out of circulation, we stop the misinformation from spreading.

Alternatively, if Teruko is the (evil) mastermind, then… aren’t I doing a disservice by not allowing the students to encounter this information? Well, yes, and no. I am preventing them from accessing the deus ex machina of David just outright saying, “oh, and by the way, Teruko is the mastermind!”; that much is true. But, by leaving that information out… aren’t I just leaving them in the same position that most killing game casts are in? They know that one of them is the mastermind, they just don’t know who. And, actually, they have a leg up on the other casts because the mastermind’s identity would still be a logically deducible fact that they could basically confirm if they all worked together. I don’t think it’s too much of a blow to the innocent students if we leave this one out, is what I’m saying.

So, that’s the good ending! A quick graphic to show how everything shook out:

(I swear, I didn’t mean to make it look like Whit was laughing at Nico’s identity. I just reused the sprites from my archetype analysis because I was too lazy to go get new ones…)

Now, on to the bad ending. This one was a lot harder to assign. Given that these secrets were meant to sow discord, there are only so many ways that things can play out well. There are lots of ways that things can play out poorly.

But, hopefully I’ve found the aggregate worst answer! Given that this is, you know… the one where things go horribly wrong, things may get pretty dark in this section, so proceed with caution. Nobody’s going to die or anything like that, but know that your faves may not be depicted in the most positive light in this section. Grab something comforting and put on some happy music, or lean hard into the angst, ‘cause we’re about to get started.

The Bad Timeline

Ace receives Levi’s secret

Look. I 100% agree that the whole Ace/Nico situation is a Major Yikes Situation /pos. However, I’m hopeful (in the sense of trying to craft the worst possible outcome) that we could still get a More or Less Yikes Situation even without the pair obtaining each others’ secrets.

Although Ace revealing that he was in possession of Nico’s secret closely preceded Nico’s death threat, that wasn’t actually what specifically led Nico to intimidate Ace. It was Ace’s comment that Nico was such a weakling that they could only solve their problems by getting people like David to help them, as well as the culmination of several days of Ace’s torment beginning in Chapter 1, which led them to do it. What I’m saying is, Ace and Nico were already rivals before the secrets even came out, so even without the direct connection to one another via the motive, it’s possible the high tensions would still cause similar events to unfold.

All that preamble hopefully helps to justify my choice to put Ace on Levi’s secret, because, my god, you can open a whole other can of worms with this one. Ace gaining the knowledge that Levi is a killer without remorse the day after Levi threatened to kill him would freak Ace out like nothing else. Being as loud as he is, I would think that Ace wouldn’t be able to stop himself from sharing this one with the class, starting a conflict right from the start.

While do I think the other students would believe Ace in the end– especially if he showed them the paper on which Levi’s name was printed– I also think that some people might doubt Ace’s words at first, thinking he’s overexaggerating as usual. However, that moment of being Boy Who Cried Wolf-ed by everyone else would also really fuck with Ace. He’s literally right, and has the paperwork to prove it, and yet people are still disinclined to believe him because they see him as a fool. It would draw an even deeper wedge between Ace and his classmates than we saw in canon.

Tying back around to the beginning, I think that this extra layer of powerlessness would just make Ace even more inclined to seek out a feeling of power elsewhere. So, I’m thinking that would still result in Ace bullying Nico, and, assuming he still keeps it up for long enough and calls Nico a weakling, we might be able to loop back around to Nico’s death threat anyway. Major Yikes Situation not averted!

Veronika receives David’s secret

Here’s a chaotic choice. Given how open-ended and accusatory David’s secret is, I definitely think it’s one that Veronika would have chosen not to reveal. However, just because she doesn’t want to reveal it doesn’t mean that the information won’t get out… in a way.

We’ve seen time and time again that Veronika is fascinated with morally questionable people, first with Arturo and later David himself once she knew about his secret. Therefore, if she knew about David’s secret from the start, I don’t think she would be able to stop herself from following him around and making some clever comments here and there. Can you imagine how concerning it would be to watch David try to give hope speeches and guide people while Veronika is peering over his shoulder and grinning at him, refusing to elaborate?

It would definitely be worrying, but I don’t think it would fully stop everyone from listening to him– but in this case, that’s a good thing! David’s tactics wound up causing more harm than good, so it was important for me to give his secret to someone who wouldn’t call him out immediately and stop him from enacting these bad policies. Veronika is a great choice for allowing that to happen, but also causing a lot of stress and doubt speculating as to what exactly Veronika could know about David that would make her act this way. Honestly, it might be the worst for David himself…

Levi receives Ace’s secret

This one isn’t that terrible on its own, but in the context of Ace also having Levi’s secret, I think it gets pretty hairy. I can’t really see any scenario where Levi knowing Ace’s greatest secret goes over well for them. If Ace blows up at Levi right out the gate, there’s a definite possibility that Levi can’t keep his cool and winds up firing off Ace’s secret in front of everyone else as retaliation. Betraying Ace’s trust like that (even if Ace was the one to mouth off first) would make their relationship even more unsalvageable.

Even if Levi did manage to keep his mouth shut, knowing Ace’s secret would just generally make it harder for Levi to talk to Ace when explaining himself or trying to make amends. Like I discussed with Hu in the good timeline, there’s a lot you can learn about Ace in the contents of his secret and the way it’s phrased. I feel like Levi would be able to pick up on some of that knowledge, but he would then find it even harder to interact with Ace without accidentally spilling the beans on some of that newfound understanding. This secret shuffle would make their relationship basically irreparable in my opinion, and the increased frustrations from both boys might make one of their tempers flare and lead them to do something inadvisable.

“Xander” receives Eden’s secret

First of all, giving “Xander” this one means there’s one less problematic person who could draw a relatively harmless secret, which is a pro in this scenario. Leaving this secret unconfirmed could also cause problems in a Class Trial. Given that this secret doesn’t include murder, blackmail, manipulation, etc, it’s a pretty nice secret to claim for yourself, even if it can basically only be claimed by one of the girls. This means that, even if Eden tried to be truthful about her secret, people might believe that she’s lying.

Furthermore, the DRDT cast seems to be a pretty queer group of people overall. 6/15 of the non-Edens are confirmed LGBTQ+ themselves (even if not all of them are out), and everyone has treated Nico and Whit’s identities with respect since learning about them. Canonically, I would say that Eden has nothing to worry about with regards to the other girls treating her differently for being a lesbian.

So, by making Eden’s secret far less accessible, it becomes less likely that she’ll ever get that moment of recognition and affirmation. Instead, as Eden’s secret remains hidden and irrelevant, it becomes easier for her to stick to what she knows is safe. An accepting environment was right there in front of her, but with the convenience of periphery, she might not ever see it.

Arturo receives J’s secret

Yeah, I agree with you on this one– J truly did roll a crit fail. I did consider giving J’s secret to someone else, as long as they would definitely publicly spill the beans, if it meant that Arturo could learn the content of J’s secret while receiving an additional bad secret as well. However, I couldn’t think of anyone who would be so guaranteed to tell everyone about J’s secret that I could be confident Arturo would hear of it, nor could I think of any particularly catastrophic secrets I’d rather give to Arturo. So, this one stays. J really is living in the worst timeline already– like if you cry every time.

Hu receives Arei’s secret

Hu was a tough nut to crack, because I think the ideal bad situation for her is that she gets a secret that’s problematic enough that it would cause major issues if news broke, but not so problematic that she wouldn’t be willing to share it as a part of David’s “let’s tell each other about our secrets” plan. Operating under the logic that the mention of self harm was the reason why she wasn’t willing to share the secret she got in canon, 3/15 options immediately disappear. More options vanish when you start eliminating not-super-problematic secrets like Xander's family, Charles’ brother, or Rose’s debt.

After some consideration, I landed on Arei’s being the best balance of thorny and not. It’s a secret that discusses a serious crime without incorporating murder, and there’s lots of room for public interpretation that could cause things to go really poorly for Arei if folks jump to conclusions. Given that Hu already didn’t super like Arei (I’m basing this off of her chastising Arei for bullying Eden), I could totally see her being willing to share this secret publicly in order to help everyone see that Arei is someone not to be trusted.

Making Arei’s secret publicly aired also removes the very important aspect of Arei’s agency that I wrote on in the good section. If Hu is sharing this secret, it’s probably pretty early in the chapter, which means that Arei might not be prepared whenever the news drops. The context of the secret sharing doesn’t involve Eden at all, so Arei might have a harder time putting two and two together about why she acts the way she does and how she wants to change. Not to mention, if Hu shares the secret in a way that directly agrees with David’s scheme, it automatically pits David against Arei, which means that he can’t offer her any help (to the extent that what he said helped her canonically). It’s just bad all around. But that’s why I’ve come to feel pretty confident in this choice.

Rose receives Min’s secret

Following up on Rose’s last entry, this is not one of the secrets that the rest of the students could either easily deduce or ignore. It would be very easy to assume that the owner of the poison secret was a murderer– possibly a mass murderer, and even one who didn't regret what they did. Even if poison wasn’t used in the Chapter 2 murder, people might suspect this person of being the killer, and/or it could throw suspicion on Charles as the only one (who we know of) who has a poisonous custom weapon.

Now, obviously, this secret did not cause much of a scene in the canonical Chapter 2 trial, but I think at least part of that is because it was Xander’s. Everyone knows that the person who has that secret can only be determined by process of elimination no matter who they ask. The same would be true if it were the secret Rose got, but people might grow upset that Rose threw away such a valuable piece of evidence. And, with Min incapable of claiming her secret, it might appear even more that someone was trying to hide something when nobody spoke up to claim it. It’s not much, but Rose made it difficult to come up with something bad.

Teruko receives Xander’s secret

Funnily enough, the logic behind me giving Xander’s secret to Teruko is quite similar to the logic behind me giving it to David. Much like how David would be taken out of commission by reading this secret, I think that Teruko would act the same– it would just be worse for her and the group as a whole.

Like I said for David, Xander’s secret paints him out as a tragic hero. He loved his family to pieces, and regrets their passing so much that he wishes he could have died with them. Even though it was textually not his fault, Xander still beats himself up every day for not being around to do the right thing and save people when it counted. …What does it mean that the guy with this secret was the one who felt he had to kill Teruko for the greater good?!

Reading Xander’s secret would only pull Teruko deeper into anger, self-hatred, and confusion. She was already pretty off kilter in this Chapter from trying to ignore her mixed emotions regarding Xander, and I think that having to relive her trauma and his betrayal any time someone brought up the mere concept of secrets would basically take her out of commission. I mean, check out how many times I was able to say the word secret in these three paragraphs alone. I don’t imagine Teruko would be able to fare much better in the hellish environment of this terrible swap, which might lead her to hole up in her room all day and grow increasingly bored and bitter.

Now, I’m not saying that Teruko needed to be up and at ‘em in the daily life because her running around and pressing knives to people’s throats was just so helpful. But at least, unlike David, she wasn’t actively making the situation worse. Her presence may have even made potential friends like Eden, Charles, or Rose feel better. At the very least, Teruko learned some key social context in the Chapter 2 daily life prior to the Trial, so removing Teruko from those interactions would make it much harder for her to fully grasp what was going on should she be forced to solve a murder once again.

Charles receives Whit’s secret

I agree with you here as well– Charles acquiring Whit’s secret is probably the worst case scenario for Whit. As one of two people who actually heard Whit talk about his mom in Chapter 1, Charles is one of the only people who would know that Whit doesn’t just “omit that truth” by not talking about his mom, he actively talks about her like she is alive. This would raise a very big question for Charles at a crucial point in their friendship. Charles has just come to start trusting this guy, so what do you mean he was lying about something so odd…?

There’s a chance that the reveal of this concealment of the truth would cause Charles to determine that he couldn’t trust Whit anymore, and it would drive them apart. But, I think that’s pretty unlikely. More likely is the option where Charles (who’s in a fragile state from his meltdown yesterday and only JUST started learning how to be a good friend) tries to question Whit about it, only for Whit to panic. I don’t really think that Whit would try to keep the ruse going, seeing as Charles literally has the answer right in front of him, but he still might be full of deflections, or try to avoid the subject with jokes. (“Huh? No, I totally said that my mom passed away a few years ago! You must’ve just not heard me– did you fling some detergent into your ears with that laundry machine?”)

I’m not sure if this distribution of secrets would fully split them up, but it would definitely cause a rift in their conversation and bonding that might stop Charles and Whit from growing as close as they did. And, all this isn’t even taking into account that–

Whit receives Charles’ secret

Did you ever notice that Whit and Charles’ secrets are both about a hidden dead relative? I didn’t put two and two together until now, but boy does it work out poorly for purposes of this AU.

Much like Levi with Ace’s secret, I don’t think this is an inherently bad draw for Whit, but it kinda sucks in this context. Whit gets placed into a really weird trolley problem: do you tell and comfort Charles about his dead brother when it’ll definitely segue into discussions of your own dead mom, or do you keep it hidden, not helping Charles and leaving yourself open to the possibility of him feeling betrayed later that you kept this secret from him? It’s these kinds of questions that Whit would be forced to ask himself in the moment that Charles first confronts him, and the time needed to process would only throw him off his game and make him appear more suspicious to Charles.

To be fair, a lot of this does depend on how deep in the lie Whit is. Is he usually pretty quick to admit that his mom is dead to anyone who digs deeper into the issue, or has he been lying about his mom’s status to everyone, his father included? If it’s more like the former, then maybe the two of them could actually come to bond over the tragedy of losing someone you care about. But, if it’s more like the latter, then this distribution of secrets could get in the way of one of the (seemingly) most stable and healthy relationships in the killing game.

Arei receives Arturo’s secret

At first, I actually considered giving Arturo’s secret to Arei in the good universe, because I thought that Arei could understand having complicated relationships with your sisters. But then I remembered something critically important. Arei herself is the younger sister. She wouldn’t relate to Arturo; she would relate to Felicity. And then, all hell would break loose.

Arei knows what it’s like to be a younger sister who, even if she never considered it herself, had other people try to pressure her into committing suicide. So, to have a younger sister lucky enough to actually have a big brother she cared about, only for him to leave her alone and cause her death? Arei would be furious. She would absolutely call him out for it immediately, and use all of the bullying tactics she learned to make his life a living hell.

Despite all that I wrote about what Hu would do with Arei’s secret, I don’t actually know if Hu would be more or less likely to share Arei’s secret if Arei was acting this way. Would Hu take it upon herself to join in shaming Arturo for his actions, or feel that Arei was being a hypocrite and want to share Arei’s own truth? Either way, with both of these secrets, I think that the option of Arei’s character growing at all (or becoming friends with Eden) any time soon is pretty much dead.

And then there’s Arturo himself. While we’ve seen that Arturo does genuinely seem remorseful and haunted by Felicity’s death, I doubt Arei would know or care. I also totally think that J would join Arei in absolutely demolishing the man. Having Arei’s offense be backed by the Julia Rosales might just break him. Whether it would be in a victim way or a killer way I’m not sure, but it would definitely be bad for funni beauty standards man. The good news is that it might stop Arei from dying…? Unless Arturo just decided to kill her. There really isn’t a lot of good news.

David receives Veronika’s secret

Alright, back to David and Veronika. This is the third time I’ve had two people just swap their secrets, I guess? And, it’s kinda for the same reasons again. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

Since we’ve been through a lot since we last discussed this pair, let’s get a quick recap: Veronika knows that David is a manipulative bastard, but won’t tell anyone that yet because she thinks it’ll be more interesting if she keeps her mouth shut. Thus, everyone is kind of wary of David, and David is definitely wary of Veronika, but not so much that it stops David from doing his information-seeking “let’s all share our secrets” plan.

I think that learning this about Veronika would make David pretty confused, very concerned, and extra conscious of Veronika in a way that would be hard to conceal. He could probably guess from the way Veronika was acting that she had some kind of dirt on him, and therefore conclude that, if he ever tried to share her secret, she might just fire back at him. David does not want that. So, the two of them remain at an uneasy stalemate that would make everyone else increasingly troubled.

Furthermore, I think that Veronika’s secret is a good balance of an unexpected yet potentially relevant piece of information about a living student that David would want to seek more of, while also not being so grim that it would appeal to whatever morals David may have. (Don’t get me wrong, Veronika’s secret is very worrying and tragic, but at least the inclusion of “for fun” makes it less grim than Arturo’s or Hu’s, to me.) David would be inclined to continue on his quest of acquiring the most knowledge-as-power as possible, and Veronika would be thrilled to watch! Both of them would just be giving off… really weird vibes about it.

Nico receives Hu’s secret

(extra suicide TW just in case)

If I say anything offensive or incorrect in this section, I deeply apologize. I don’t mean to portray either of these characters, their issues, or people who relate to them or their issues in a bad light, and I definitely don’t mean to demonize mentally ill people. The reasoning behind why I think it would be bad for Nico to get Hu’s secret is complicated, and may be based on uninformed thoughts or unfounded projections. However, based on what I do “know,” I think it makes sense, so I’ll try to explain myself as best I can.

Basically, I think that receiving Hu’s secret would be bad for Nico because it might make Nico less likely to speak up for themselves when Hu talks over them. If I were Nico, I might be worried about reacting too strongly to what Hu is doing, and accidentally sending her back into the hopeless state of her childhood. Just interacting with Hu in general might lead someone (like David) to start questioning Nico about the secret they received, and cause the information to accidentally leak out. It would make Nico saying anything on how Hu was acting difficult.

Again, I am not trying to villainize Hu, or mandate that you have to walk on eggshells around suicidal people because they’re loose cannons or whatever. I just think that, especially for someone as uncomfortable with socialization with Nico, navigating the sensitive subject of past suicide attempts in this incredibly hostile bad AU environment might prevent them from speaking up for themselves when they’re feeling belittled. And, that would be bad for their personal development.

I wish we could move on to something happier to combat these bad vibes, but unfortunately, we still have a couple more to go.

“Min” receives Rose’s secret

Well, at least we can cool down a little bit with this one. Not a ton going on here; basically just that Rose’s secret is pretty lowkey and I could cause more damage with other secrets elsewhere. I don’t think it would cause a particular stir with either other students becoming paranoid or Rose’s characterization and growth. I suppose that, without the excuse of being able to explain her past, Rose probably wouldn’t have had that chance to vent to Teruko, which was probably a good experience for her? The conflict-avoidant Rose will be suffering enough with all the turmoil going on around her, methinks.

Eden receives Nico’s secret

Make no mistake, this is not a decision made to hurt Nico. It’s meant to hurt Eden. With her compassionate heart and non-judgmental attitude, Eden is a great draw for any secret-holder to have in order to not cause trouble. That’s why I thought that the best move here was to use the secret as an offensive weapon to lessen her impact, as well as preventing a more problematic secret from being absorbed into her positive vibes.

Eden’s greatest secret is that she’s a lesbian, and she fears that people will come to hate her or discriminate against her if they find out about her identity. Therefore, the worst thing to do to her is to affirm those fears by shoving the homophobia someone else suffered in her face. Learning that Nico was mocked for their identity would make Eden less confident in hers, and might dampen her spirit enough that some of the good effects of her optimism are negated. She might become more hesitant to discuss secrets and more fearful of her peers, knowing that one of them probably knows about her identity and could use it against her at any time. Little does she know, it’s actually in the morgue alongside the Ultimate Rebel.

But, the fact that is just further feeds into my idea from Xander’s section. If Eden has just been reminded of how cruel the world can be to LGBTQ+ people, she wouldn’t be jumping at the opportunity to reveal which secret was hers. This would 1) allow another troublemaker to perhaps successfully claim it as their own, 2) make Eden look suspicious as she tries to come up with a solid lie of her own, and 3) postpone or deny (if Eden dies on a short timeframe) Eden’s ability to feel comfortable in herself.

Also (not to say that David forcing Nico to share their secret was a good thing), if Nico’s secret never becomes available to the public, they might have to go through the rest of their time in the killing game getting misgendered. Diversity loss!

J receives Teruko’s secret

J could stay quiet for a lot of things, but I feel like if she knew who the mastermind was (assuming she doesn’t know that she herself is the mastermind), that’s something she wouldn’t stay quiet about. I think that J at least wanted to see Teruko as her friend, given that she approached Teruko on the day she tested out her universal remote and roped Teruko in as part of her plan to get away from Arturo. Teruko double-crossing J by “being the mastermind” would, I think, be enough of a betrayal that J would set out seeking answers. Publicly.

Teruko, having just seen Xander’s secret, is also in a terrible mood, meaning that her ability to defend herself against J’s accusations and keep a cool head would be lessened, and possibly devolve into a screaming match. This would send the students down the incorrect(?) path as to the mastermind’s identity, further encourage Teruko to distance herself from everyone else, and cause J to lose faith in one of the few people she liked just before Arturo starts to get on her ass. Needless to say, the group would be in shambles.

That was rough, but we’re finally done. Let’s take a look at how things shook out.

(Once again, I really didn’t mean to make it look like Whit was laughing at Charles’ dead brother? A little treat for everyone who believes Whit is evil, I suppose.)

Blech. Even though torturing characters can be fun sometimes, speculating about the worst case scenario isn’t usually the kind of energy that I like to bring to this blog. Hopefully I was able to deliver something satisfactorily devastating, though!

As a final note, assigning all these secrets to everyone did get me thinking a little about what would have happened in this chapter if the motive had gone as planned, and everyone had gotten their own secrets. While it obviously wouldn’t have been as good as the good universe, I do think that people learning of their own secrets is a lot better than many of the bad scenarios that could have been created with a shuffle. Charles and Teruko definitely would have been a bit thrown, but at least in Charles’ case, I don’t know if it would have resulted in murder.

In my opinion, I think it’s probably most likely that David or Nico would have killed? David obviously cares a lot about his career and the prospect of his secret being shared with the world, so he could have tried to ride his good social graces and fake “family history of depression” secret to a Class Trial clear. Nico also has a lot to worry about with their secret getting out, and, already facing pressure from Ace’s bullying, it’s possible they would have made the same decision to kill Ace if Ace’s harassment continued. I suppose this is a question I can ask back at ya, Gremlyn, if you feel inclined to answer! :D And, thank you for the ask. Even if it got a little bleak, I had fun with it.

Stay safe and happy out there, everyone, and make sure your deepest, darkest secret doesn’t get handed to your worst enemy. Or really, just try to avoid entering a killing game at all. Until next time~

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