#and almost beat it that year. and then stopped just short. the reason why has been lost to time

[radicarian]

Anyway I'm playing Chrono Trigger DS now

Frog best boy

#I have never played the original Chrono Trigger; I got the DS port at release #and almost beat it that year. and then stopped just short. the reason why has been lost to time #in 2021 or 2022 I decided to restart only to learn that my 3DS battery was not seated properly. resulting in VARIOUS issues #such as randomly turning off during gameplay; sound volume fluctuations; could not press left on the d-pad #tried to get in there and futz with it and instead stripped one of the screws like an idiot. decided to play Switch games instead #BUT THIS MORNING I REMEMBERED that I got the 3DS repaired over last summer #tl;dr frog best boy #(the DS version was re-localized and he does not speak Fauxlizabethan English. someday I'll look up the SNES script)

[disasterofastory]

Leather and dust (Thranduil x Reader)

Leather and dust Thranduil x Reader Warnings: smutty

Summary: Thranduil pays you a visit in the library.

The creak of the heavy doors breaks the silence of the library. It's loud and sharp in the silence. A small gasp leaves your lips as you jump because of the sudden sound. The book almost slips out of your hands, and you tighten your hold at the last moment. Your nails dig into the leather cover.

You know he is here. You can feel it. And hear it. His steps are heavy thuds on the ground. Putting the book back in its original place on the shelf, you try to listen to the rhythmic noise to find out where he may be. A frown appears between your brows as you turn your head left and right. His steps echo between the tall walls. One moment, you are sure he is far away, and the next second, your heart jumps to your throat at his closeness.

Where is he?

"What the book did to cause that frown?" Another gasp leaves your lips at his words. Your head snaps up where he stands, and your hand slips away from the book's spine to fall next to your body. Your fingers seek out the soft material of your skirt to grab something. "It did nothing, my King," you reply when you find your voice. Thranduil stands a few meters away from you at the end of the shelf. His hands are behind his back. His posture is straight and confident. His whole presence demands respect and obedience. "Then who earned your sour mood, Y/N?" "Oh, nobody," you croak out, clearing your throat. "I just... I was deep in thought." "Do you want to share them with me?" He asks, stepping closer. "Maybe I can ease your worries." "I have no worries, my King," you tell him, shaking your head. "My thoughts don't even deserve to be mentioned." You are lying. Of course, you do. But how could you share your thoughts with the elven king? How could you tell him that he is the reason for your worries? That you barely can breathe in his presence? And you can't look at him without burning? And the little game he has been playing with you for weeks now drives you desperation and madness at the same time? "It's hard to believe that your thoughts don't deserve mentioning," he argues softly. The corners of his lips jerk upward, but Thranduil doesn't let himself smile even though the amusement is clear on his face. Humor glints in his bright blue eyes. Not knowing what to say, you clear your throat again before speaking. "Can I help you with something, my King?" You ask him, trying to be more professional. "The others told me you want to reorganize the library," he says. "Yes," you nod. "Tightening the relations between Lake-town and the dwarves made a mess here. I thought perhaps..." "Why?" He asks, and the sudden question stops you from speaking. "Why does a mortal woman like you with such a short lifespan waste her time here? With old books and languages?" His question hurts for a moment. The frown is back on your face with a small pout. "I..." The wrinkle between your brows deepens as you try to think of your answer. "Maybe that's why." Turning to the books so you don't have to look at him, you continue. "I don't have hundreds and thousands of years to get to know and experience everything. The books and documents... they help. And..." The air gets stuck in your lungs when you feel him moving behind you. His chest touches your back. His whole presence hovers above you and almost pushes you to your knees. "And?" His warm breath fans over the side of your face. It smells like fruits and a hint of the finest elven wine. "And..." You have to force the words out of your tightened throat. "And their smell. It's parchment, dust, leather, and ink. They are comforting." By the time you finish your sentence, your voice becomes a weak whisper. The tip of his nose brush over the curve where your neck and shoulder meet. Your heart stops beating for a long second, and your thighs clench without your control. "That explains it," he hums against your skin. "Explains what, my King?" You ask back, still frozen in place. "Your scent," he says. "Dust, leather, and ink. It haunts me since you are here. I lay in my bed at night, unable to sleep because of you. I can hear you. I can smell you." "Oh." "Do you know what I do then, Y/N?" He asks. His large hands land on your hips. His hold on you is tight and possessive. You can feel the squeeze of his fingers between your legs even though his touch doesn't move away from your sides. "No," you reply. The word leaves your lips panting. "Then ask me, Y/N." His lips brush over your neck as he speaks. "Ask me what I do when I'm unable to free myself from the thoughts of you." "What do you do, my King?" Your question is shaky and breathless. His chest presses against your back some more. You can feel him pressed against your bottom. "I imagine you," he replies. You can barely feel the kisses he hints on the line of your shoulder as he goes up to your neck, but you still know what he is doing. "I close my eyes and imagine you beneath me. You are bare and flushed in front of me. Your lips are red from my kisses, and your legs are open as you wait for me." You can feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with each word that leaves his lips. One of his hands slips down to your skirt, pulling up the fabric with calmness and patience. "I try to imagine how you taste and how you sound as you scream my name and beg for more." "Thranduil." His name slips off your tongue with desperation. Your eyes fall close, and you have to grab one of the shelves to keep your balance. "I imagine this pussy around my cock instead of my hand." His long fingers find their way under your panties easily. His touch glides over your wetness, gathering your juices until he is soaked in your essence. "Open your mouth," Thranduil orders. His voice is quiet but not less commanding. "And suck." Your own taste spreads across your tongue as he pushes two of his fingers between your lips. "Is it as sweet as I imagined?" He asks but doesn't let your answer. When you open your mouth to speak, he pushes deeper until you gag. Saliva drips down your jaw. "I will taste you tonight," the elven king states. "I will feast on your pussy all night until you are as mad with need as I am." But you already are. The world is dizzy around you, and only Thranduil's arm keeps you on your feet. Your pussy aches and throbs for more.

And everything is over before you know it.

"Come to my room tonight," Thranduil says. You feel cold without his warmth behind you. "I will wait for you."

#thranduil x reader #thranduil imagine #thranduil smut #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit smut

[starrystevie]

it's 2004 when steve finds himself back in hawkins for the first time since he moved away for good. he has a master's degree under his belt, a mortgage on a house outside of st. louis with a dog and picket fence, and a rockstar that wormed his way into his heart next to him in bed every night. he's closer to 50 than he is to 20 and life feels good, life feels settled, figured out in a way he never thought he'd get to see.

"you gonna tell me why you're shakin' like a leaf?"

but sitting across from wayne munson and his sharp gaze is enough to make him feel like a teenager again.

steve takes a sip from his glass of water before setting it down on the end table next to him and watches the way wayne's finger taps against the side of his coffee cup. it's like he's keeping rhythm with something that steve can't hear, like a drum beat in his head that proves that he's the reason eddie has musical talent.

"i'm fine," he responds back to wayne, a stilted smile crossing his face. wayne's gaze deepens like he he doesn't believe him. "i'm fine!"

there's a clock ticking somewhere in the living room and the faucet in the kitchen is dripping quietly and it makes the silence that falls between them even more deafening. steve takes in a deep breath and nods absently as he rubs his palms over his denim clad knees.

"is he in trouble?" wayne asks in a gruff voice, low and to the point. steve shakes his head immediately, stutters out something that sounds like no, and wayne looks at him with his eyebrows pinched together. "are you in trouble?"

"no, it's not-" steve stands up and paces out some of his nerves, hands shoved into his pockets so that he stops waving them around. he sighs and looks back at wayne. "it's nothing bad."

"if it ain't bad, then just say it."

steve groans and runs his hands through his hair. it's harder to do this than he thought it would be, quite possibly the hardest thing he's done in years and that's including having to admit to eddie that he does indeed like the stupid beard he grew as a dare from jeff. wayne is still staring at him with a determined look, like he won't let steve get away with any of his usual charming bullshit, and looks so much like eddie that it makes something in his heart explode.

"fine! i'm asking eddie to marry me and i need your permission or something. happy old man?" he finally says, or well, shouts. it's too loud in the quiet house and he can see wayne wince from the decibel he reaches but it's out. it's off his chest and he's finally said it.

and wayne is smiling.

seeing him smile is strange, not because he doesn't look good with a smile, but because it's not often that steve gets to bear witness to it. it starts off slow, clipped at the edges before it spreads to his cheeks and crinkles his eyes. steve's breathing hard when wayne stands up and wraps his hands around the tops of his shoulders. he can feel himself shaking under wayne's grip and from this close, he can see the tears that he knows wayne is fighting against.

"it's about damn time, boy. took you two long enough to pull your heads outta your backsides."

getting hugged by wayne is almost weirder than seeing him smile. it's short, to the point, with pats on backs and chuckles that break loose from steve's too tight chest. part of him wishes eddie were here to let him be a part of the moment, but it would ruin the surprise he's so carefully planned, so he revels in the rare time between just the two of them.

"had to wait for somewhere to allow it first, wayne," steve mutters as they pull apart and he feels hope unfurl somewhere within him when he says it.

"well, alright, i guess you're off that hook then. but y'know," wayne's sitting back down in his arm chair and steve does the same, matching grins plastered on their faces. "you don't need my permission. that boy is crazy over you and if you think you ain't a part of this family already, then you're crazier than he is."

steve looks around at the pictures on the shelf behind wayne's head. sees young eddie and wayne with arms around each other, sees a makeshift graduation picture, an out of focus one of the two of them outside their house in missouri, one of all three of them around the chritmas tree in '99 when they had wayne come down to see them, and he thinks, yeah. they're already a family. at least now it'll be paper official.

#don't ask i just wanted to write about wayne okay #bee try to not write wayne as if he is uncle bobby from spn challenge failed #steddie #steddie headcanon #my writing #steve harrington #eddie munson #wayne munson #steddie drabble #steddie ficlet #wayne munson the man that we have made you........ #this is long but i didn't want to ruin the flow with a read more so pls forgive me #crush the idea that a man has to ask permission to marry u but steve absolutely still would because he thinks it's what a gentleman does

[bbanghiitomi]

| caught in a line

synopsis: tangled upon an endless string of feelings, both love and suffering, y/n intends to hide somewhere the love of her life will never find her — but in the process of losing the strings connecting her to her past, she gets stuck on a new one (her future).

— non-idol!childhoodfriend!kminji × non-idol!fem!reader × non-idol!khaerin!

note: holy moly i've been so busy in the past few months/weeks and i'm tryna catch up on some stuff lately but AH a post after 10 years... hope u guys are doing well also this was requested by anon, thanks! hope u guys liked it, comments are very appreciated.

(⁠๑⁠´⁠•⁠.̫⁠ ⁠•⁠ ⁠`⁠๑⁠)(⁠๑⁠´⁠•⁠.̫⁠ ⁠•⁠ ⁠`⁠๑⁠)(⁠๑⁠´⁠•⁠.̫⁠ ⁠•⁠ ⁠`⁠๑⁠)(⁠๑⁠´⁠•⁠.̫⁠ ⁠•⁠ ⁠`⁠๑⁠)

"where are you going?" you take a deep breath as you turn around to face minji, you can see the confused look on her face and all you could do was to give her a short chuckle. "home." you answer almost a little too late as minji starts taking steps to approach you, you watch as she almost, stomps her way to you, with a pout on her lips. "alright, now. why didn't you tell me? i was looking for you the whole time." minji brushes her long fingers on her raven hair as she exhales, you stare at her and immediately you shift your sight away from her gorgeous face — for the better, you decide.

"i didn't have the chance, i tried to approach you but you were talking with your classmate." you tell her, you see the way her eyebrows relax and she nods, you stand there in front of her waiting for a response but all she can do is scratch her nape. "uhm, right. hanni, she was... we were having a conversation about papers." minji shrugs, you laugh, finding yourself looking away awkwardly.

"if that's the case, i should really get going. if you don't have any questions no more, that is." you smile and the tension feels weird, you're standing there, as if you have somewhere to go and you're about to be late and minji stands in front of you as if she had nowhere to go. minji looks around and reaches for your hand. "hey, we're supposed to go home together, right?" she asks, and oh — of course, you didn't know what went into you, how did you forgot?

you place a hand on your forehead and shake your head. "oh right, i thought you'd go home later. yes, we should get going now!" you point to the main gate of the school and see minji laughing. "you're so funny." she mutters.

for some reason, you don't know when or where it all started, but you've been feeling something blooming inside of your chest — it's ticklish, you feel it everytime you come across minji and at first, it felt funny, but now... it's starting to get more evident as the time passes by.

you tried to ignore it, at least you tried not to think too much of it. it's just getting harder, as the clock ticks and so is your time here. you have come to a realization that maybe, there has to be a better way out of this.

"you were absent yesterday... ms. hwang asked me about your whereabouts and i couldn't answer since you weren't telling me." you stopped your finger from further tapping on your mouse, your eyes are staring at your laptop, suddenly finding your interest in the document plastered on the screen. in all honesty, you're scared, just right now... sitting here beside minji, you can feel the way your heart is beating, as if it's getting harder to breathe.

it's not like this before... you remember it very well, when this feeling inside your chest used to be tender, sweet, and comforting. it felt like there were flowers fluttering inside your chest, it's ticklish but now —

it's starting to feel suffocating.

you smile, and turn around to look at minji. "i didn't think it would be a big deal, i had to run some errands for my mother." in fact, that was a lie. you were sent to see a doctor for a check up by your mother, she's been noticing your unusual antics lately. you've been having a hard time breathing, sometimes you'd say it's because you were tired walking around the house, doing stuff at school. eventually you come to realize that you wouldn't be able to lie forever and hide it, that one day people will find out.

you're scared to tell minji about it.

"okay, then why didn't you tell me?" minji pushes further, you knew her— since you two were babies, of course she's stubborn! that's how much she cares for you, even just as a friend. you stretch your lips into a thin line, looking at her with concern in your eyes, then you just give up.

“minji, it's because i don't think it's something to worry about. plus, i already got my record slip from the student council office. it's all good now, don't worry.” you shrug and continue to type on your keyboard, minji doesn't seem pleased by it and she's going to do anything to let you know that she wants to get an actual answer.

“is everything okay between us?” you feel your finger freeze, your heart starts to beat at a pace you couldn't comprehend. you look at her, seeing a frown on her lips, her thick brows furrowed to show signs of distress and disappointment. “...what do you mean?” you ask her, minji looks at you as if she heard a stupid joke, there's an expression of disbelief on her face, trying to find confirmation that you were indeed kidding.

but no, you were beyond serious.

“y/n, you’ve been avoiding me. i mean, what's the matter? you don't even bother telling me anything, we haven't had a proper conversation for months.” you blink at her, has it really been that long? time feels a little faster when you're with her… but has it really been that long for her?

you shake your head, closing your laptop as you look away. “no… i… minji, i’m sorry. i didn't mean to make you feel that way.” you look up at her, you have almost forgotten that both of you were at the campus park, not a lot but a good amount of people would be able to see and hear your conversation with her.

minji sighs, closing her eyes and standing up with clenched fists. “okay fine, you can't even provide an actual explanation, or an answer!” you can hear the way her shoes stomps at the grassy floor, even as your heart beat gets louder on your ears, you can hear her very well.

you feel your heart clench, then it’s getting harder to breathe, as if something was blocking your airway.

“minji…” you whisper looking up at her, your eyes starting to swell with tears.

“if that's what you want then okay! let's just… i don't even want to talk to you about anything anymore, you make me feel like this friendship is one-sided.” minji stomps away from you, leaving you with your hands on your chest, trying your best to breathe properly but you're running out of air.

it doesn't help the fact that tears are running down your face and your chest starts to hurt, so much…

it's kind of ironic to hear her feel that way, one-sided feelings… yet she can just find someone else.

it's so unfair.

maybe, the doctor must have lied to you. you swore it was just a mild flu, now you’re inside your bathroom staring at bloodied petals that have fallen out of your mouth whilst you cough violently. how did this happen?

no matter how many times you ask yourself it wouldn't matter nor it would make complete sense, being dumbfounded that these feelings that you have grown for minji — the same feelings that made you experience the sweet rush, the yearning, it was supposed to be sweet, it was supposed to be warm…

it was supposed to be innocent and pure, how did something that was once ticklish start to hurt?

you rush to your room, with shaking hands you reach over to your chair then to your study table to open your laptop — there must be an answer to this, right?

an answer where you don't need to confide minji and have her disappointed, an answer where you don't need to hear words from your mother, scolding.

an answer that you can accept even just for a small amount of time, just so you can ease the pain whilst hiding it.

you don't want to see a doctor’s face, staring at you with pity in their eyes because it makes you feel so much weaker than you are, as if you can get any weaker.

even if it feels hard, your fingers push the keys on your keyboard, one by one, bit by bit as if unsure.

“hanahaki disease…”

hanahaki… disease..?

trying to understand what it means, you browse even further.

apparently, it happens when the victim starts to cough up petals, the symptoms being severe chest pain in chest, because of petals growing from the heart and chest before the victim throws them up. this happens when the victim's feelings aren't reciprocated, meaning one-sided love.

however, it is only through romantic feelings that the illness could be healed; friendship isn't strong enough to take the pain away.

this is absurd. you think to yourself, there's no way such a thing exists…

the only way to confirm this was actually going to the hospital to get yourself checked.

you eventually dread the idea, having to not consult your own mother about it and get yourself appointed immediately.

the hallway of the hospital feels haunted, the air around the place feels colder than usual — you stand trying to calm yourself down, but it's hard when you’ve got no one to run to.

the thought of minji starts to hurt you again, you feel the same prickling pain in your chest, as if there were thorns wrapped around your heart, pushing down and piercing the flesh.

you try to breathe properly, reaching a hand to your chest and hoping to make it stop. there's no one here to help you, and you're all alone — there's a ringing silence and you start to lose yourself a bit, light headed.

“are you okay?” there's a clacking of heels, not that far from you but you choose to ignore it as you walk, another hand on the wall; hoping you’d disappear quickly.

you realize someone must have seen you, you turn your head back to see a girl making her way towards you, cladded with a nurse uniform, all white and it hurts your eyes. “hey, please stand by — you can't just walk around while being in pain.” she tells you, as if she knew any better.

and in fact she did, but you're too stupid to admit that, not when you're in your worst state; you tell yourself no one will understand you.

“god, it hurts. can i just — sit down for a moment?” you let go of your chest and take a seat on a nearest bench inside the hall, sighing as you shake your head trying to take the thought of minji out of your head but it's hard when you've been missing her for so long.

“you can but don't you think it's better to get yourself checked first? you can't just walk around knowing you're in such pain.” the girl sits next to you, you nod even though you really couldn't care much. “yeah i know… but my appointment is tomorrow.” you sigh as you lean on the bench, taking the gods above as the pain eases — eventually you start to hope you don't start coughing here.

the girl stands up and pats her lap, she looks quite determined but you ignore her cat-like eyes looking down on you. “still, we can make an emergency appointment. do you think you can do that? it's for the best.” seems like it's this girl’s job to get in strangers’ business, you can't be mad but you want some peace even just for now.

“that's nice but i can't invade the doctor’s schedule for my own liking.” you tell the girl in a hush tone, as if being forced to make a conversation — the girl, who you assumed is a nurse — shakes her head and turns around, looking at you with her index finger pointing out to you. “don't leave, i’ll sign a letter for you.” you scoff when she leaves, you're feeling too weak to even move.

“this girl… i swear to god.” you mutter, closing your eyes as you feel the pain spiking in again. you remember how minji was stubborn too, all because she wants the best for you yet you think of how much she's the one causing you the pain you're suffering lately.

you seriously hate feeling helpless, but at times like this… it's the only thing you could do.

you hear the same clacking of heels and you open your eyes to see the same girl, holding some papers and passing it over to you.

“you should know that you need this appointment, the doctor understands and we only need your cooperation.” you stare at her face, her piercing eyes and you feel like losing.

“alright.” you tell her as you grab the paper and have it signed.

she stays with you and you spend the time staring at thin air, casually scratching your cheek every now and then. “i’m kang haerin, a nursing student — i’m an intern here.” haerin seems impatient looking at you, you look down and start asking yourself how in the world you got in this situation.

haerin doesn't seem that social herself, but she's trying to keep this conversation maybe because she's found something about you that she can continue to watch out for, for your own sake.

“i’m choi y/n, applied mathematics.” you see her nod and look away immediately and it had you almost laughing.

it was quiet for almost 15 minutes, you didn't mind it but it was starting to suffocate haerin, only cause she doesn't like this type of awkwardness.

you stand up and brush your shirt. “i need to go to the restroom.” you tell haerin, she looks up and she stands up, confusing you. “uh—?”

“i should go and accompany you… for the better.” you see her stone like face, you give her a ‘what has gone into you’ look and shake your head. “no, i’m not leaving if that's what you're thinking. i just need to —”

haerin shakes her head. “i need to go too.” you look at her and laugh. “uh, this needs to stop, it's ridiculous.” you raise your hand over to her, gesturing that you’ve had enough.

but she doesn't give up.

“nope, i take my duties seriously. if something happens to you, i won't be able to forgive myself.”

you nod and raise your hands. “you're not even a nurse yet.” you remind her.

haerin shakes her head, again. “and i won't become one if i can't get this task done.”

you realize she really wasn't gonna give up. “alright, whatever.” you tell her and start walking, she follows.

the restroom is haunting, you feel the cold water on your hand as you reach over to the faucet, there's something stuck on your throat and you lean over before coughing it all up — petals… again, you grimace and feel the pain on your chest again.

you feel a hand on your back, another breathing beside you. “hey, can you still manage?” you watch as the water from the faucet slowly wash the blood and petals away.

“what's happening to me..?” you whisper, haerin doesn't give you an answer. you figured she must feel bad, very bad— you can feel her burning gaze on your face.

“we can have mr. jeon answer that, i’m pretty sure he can help you.” haerin has a pretty voice, you nod at her and feel yourself calming down slowly.

you breathe heavily and stare at her, you don't believe she doesn't know it herself. “answer me, you know it for sure.” you whisper to her, and there was nothing but the sound of water droplets from the faucet as haerin keeps her mouth shut, for the sake of everyone.

haerin shakes her head. “i can't be the one telling you that.”

you eventually give up asking her.

the office was quiet as the doctor read out your condition. it was just as bad as you first learned about it — hearing about it from the doctor didn't ease the weight on your shoulders. you thought that maybe having a doctor tell you about it would be much more reassuring but no, not even his caring tone helped you because you understand how doomed you were.

“there's a lot of treatment for this, i suggest you take medicines first — if you can't handle the pressure of getting a surgery.” you know it would be nice to have it removed already but it's — it's scary, you’ve never been fond of surgeries, have you been always so healthy growing up.

until maybe you discovered love through a friend.

you rub your eyes with your hand, trying to figure out if any of this was real, but you knew it was, it's just hard to accept.

it's not over yet but it feels like there's no hope for you.

“this sounds ridiculous.” you whisper, frustration evident in your tone.

“yes i know, it does sound stupid but it's the truth.” mr. jeon tells you, he understands your frustrations, it's genuinely hard to accept how some stupid feelings can push your life to the edge — it doesn't sound real, not any of this feels real.

you put your hand on your lap, shrugging.

“i’ll settle on the medicine first, maybe i have to tell my parents about this.” you tell mr. jeon who nods.

“you definitely have to, you need support from loved ones — specially in times like this, when you can't get the same love you give.” he adds to it.

“i’m sorry for walking out on you like that, that was so rude of me and very selfish — i should’ve known better.” minji finally decided to see you again after what you thought was several weeks. you know she's doing better without you and maybe it was for the better.

you sigh and shrug, maybe the emotional load of having to see minji again is taking a toll on you but you've been very diligent in taking medicine and coming to hospital when needed.

“yeah i’m sorry too, i know you care for me but minji it's alright.” you put a hand on your forehead while minji still looks at you. your room feels dead, there's not much around and minji's presence makes breathing even hard.

it used to feel so good, when these feelings of yours were once that funny, stupid, childish yearning and looking at minji made your heart skip a beat in a good way.

now looking at her again makes you want to implode, petals growing inside of you even worse.

minji wants to say something, but she knows it's gonna end in disaster again. she's so distraught by the idea you're hiding something from her and she's never been the type to love to hide and seek because she keeps on losing, never been the type to love liars and never been the type to be unreliable.

maybe, minji’s used to be your boulder during landslides. but it wasn't going to be like that forever, eventually she'll have to find someone else and you have to get these stupid petals off of you.

you receive a message from haerin.

kang haerin

haerin: hey, have you taken your medicine.

haerin: i was tasked to send emails to you everyday at a certain time, please always read them.

y/n: when was it a nurse’s job to email patients.

haerin: mr. jeon told me to do so, now please send me your email.

y/n: wait.

“who’s that?” minji asks, you stand up from your bed and walk your way to your desk, grabbing something from one of the drawers and turning your back to minji. “a blockmate, asking for help.” you tell her, letting out a small cough.

minji squints her eyes and looks away, this is complicated.

“i need to do something here in my bathroom, just wait a bit.” you tell minji, looking at her with a small smile — minji feels like crumbling, she hates when you look at her that way, she feels small and weak.

it's a bad habit to think of hating the feeling of being inferior to your feelings.

you close the bathroom door, leaving minji sitting on your bed, grasping on think threads of hope.

kang haerin

y/n: ********@gmail.com

y/n: why are you doing this again?

haerin: mr. jeon is your private doctor and i am under his care. it's my task to do what he thinks is best.

y/n: alright, i have a friend here and need to get off soon.

haerin: okay.

haerin: take care.

y/n: yeah.

minji grumbles and stands up, walking towards your desk and seeing a bunch of crumpled pieces of paper — it's not something new, you’ve always been the type to leave things like that.

minji picks up one paper, particularly your medication prescription from mr. jeon, reading it carefully.

when did you start taking medicine?

have you told her before?

maybe she forgot?

the other one however, was a medical report from mr. jeon too.

he jotted down all your symptoms and there's the ripped part of the final result.

minji closed her eyes, sighing.

you finally open the door and see minji standing by your desk, you immediately walk up to her and take the paper from the desk. “how is this supposed to be okay?” she asks you, you avoid her gaze while she looks at you with hatred.

“because i said so —” you feel her hands on your shoulders, pulling you to look at her. “why can't you just tell me the truth?” minji whispers harshly, you close your eyes as you shake your head, calming yourself.

“i wasn't ready…” you only tell her.

“what? how — when did you start acting like this? have i done something wrong? come on, tell me!” minji shouts, you feel suffocated by her grip and you reach for her wrist.

“let go, you won't get it!” you yell back, pushing her away and she lets go of your shoulders causing you to stumble over. minji feels bad, maybe not because a part of her doesn't understand why you're acting like this at all.

“what part won't i get? i mean, we’ve been friends for years!” minji looks at you and you start catching your breath, with just a cough — a petal falls from your lips, and there’s blood on the floor. your cough turns violent, like a rain raging into a storm, minji can hear your voice ringing in her ear as you weeze for a breath.

“y/n… y/n!?” you feel minji’s hands on your shoulders and she lifts you up to look at you, she feels her heart drop, thinking it must have been her fault. “y/n… what's happening?” her voice is shaking and she looks at you with panic written all over her face, her palm grazing your cheeks.

“i’m okay…” you mutter and close your eyes, tears start to swell and it's hot, forming on the corners of your eyes. “it's just that — you know, i can't breathe!” your hand touches her shoulder, gripping it tightly as if not wanting to let go. minji embraces your figure, holding you close. “come on, let's go.” she whispers, gesturing to your room.

“i love you… so much minji, it hurts a lot.” your phone starts to ring, and you guess it's from haerin.

“what..?” minji mutters.

“that’s why it hurts like this because —” you start to sob, not knowing what to do when you're standing here with her arms around you, you feel weak about it and it's humiliating when you think about how pathetic it is to be in such pain over someone who you're supposed to be friends with.

you wake up, a hand on your forehead and it's hurting like hell. you look around to see everything in complete brightness, the hospital room reflects the light above, everything is in the color of white. you shift from the bed, a hand on your chest trying to find the safe fluttering feeling inside, the type that feels suffocating.

you notice how you couldn't feel it, particularly clueless to how and where it is now — you try to navigate the same pain you usually endure but you figured, it must be because minji is nowhere to be seen.

the door creaks, it opens and you look up to see haerin's face, after several months of being stuck with her, you realize it wasn't that bad — she wasn't that bad.

you look down and feel the breeze of the air conditioner, haerin slowly enters inside and stands by the end of your bed.

“hey,” she calls.

you look up and smile at her, brushing a hand on your hair.

“do you remember the waiver you signed… like several months ago?” she asks, you look at her, to her cat-like eyes and feel something inside, you ignore it.

“yes, i think… i guess it happened.” you mutter, it was awkward and haerin hates it when things get awkward. maybe because she wants you to feel better, she pushes strands of her hair behind her very noticeable ear then she clears her throat.

“yeah, it was a success — i bet you feel so much better now.” she smiles, like she always does when you actually listen to what she says.

you remember signing a waiver, a deal you made with mr. jeon, that if you’re at your worst state caused by the disease you will have to have an emergency surgery immediately as soon as it happens.

you thought that it would be a good idea, you want to wait at least a little more just in case that pain disappears but it was taking too long. that time you passed out on minji’s arms, you knew it would have been the right time to finally let go.

“i do. it's weird right? nothing much has changed,” you pause as you reach out to your chest, closing your eyes as you breathe. “it feels like something is still fluttering inside my chest.” you tell haerin, haerin frowns and comes closer leaning towards you. “what's wrong? does it still hurt?” haerin asks, holding your shoulders.

you shrug, chuckling slightly. “no, it doesn't it's kind of funny, as if it's ticklish.” haerin sighs and glares at you playfully. “stop making jokes, i’m worried.” she whispers, and there’s silence going around the room as you both stare at each other, haerin blinks before gradually moving away for only a few centimeters, still wanting to check up on you.

“you’re worried… for me?” you whisper back as if teasing her to which she reacted positively by moving her head away with flushing cheeks.

“of course… after all, mr. jeon cares about your health too.” oh well, you laugh at her and she pouts at your reaction. “yeah, i’m his patient but… you were worried, is that true?” you ask her, haerin looks away and chuckles at your question.

“why would you want to know?”

“because i thought you’d think of me as if i’m a burden and annoying.”

haerin sits on the side of your bed, turning to look at you.

“i care for you because it's my job, okay?” haerin whispers, looking down at your hands.

you didn't pry your eyes away from her, yet start to feel more pulled by her aura.

“do you think of me the same when i’m not here?” you ask, again. even if it sounds like you're asking too much, it doesn't hurt to do so, right?

haerin doesn't move her eyes away from your hands on top of the blanket.

she laughs. “you ask so much, are you so curious… of course i care for you even if you're not here. outside of my job, i care for you even if i’m in my bedroom.” she adds.

you smile at her. “thanks.”

silence starts to engulf the whole room again, but it feels nice.

“say, am i a headache sometimes —” even before you get to finish your question she already butts in. “yes you are.”

you laugh. “wait are you serious?”

“yes i am.” she says.

you lean your head to look at her and she turns her head to you.

“do you regret forcing me to stay?” you ask.

haerin smiles at you. “no, i never did.”

haerin wants to feel bad for herself, not when she's starting to catch feelings for her mentor’s patient — someone who suffered a disease from a one-sided love, because she's afraid she might end up the same.

she doesn't want you to feel like she's taking advantage of your situation, because she's never felt something more genuine than her feelings for you.

“i… actually, nevermind.” haerin turns her head away from you and she starts to curse herself from piquing your interest. “what's up?” you ask her, looking at her over her shoulder. haerin looks at you and smiles, adjusting herself as she scoots closer. “it's nothing.” she tells you.

you brush it off and shrug, not wanting to force her to say something.

but haerin couldn't keep herself.

“i’ll say it, for the better.” haerin tries to relax her shoulders, eventually finding herself almost frozen under your gaze.

you scoot closer to her, your feet dangling over the edge of the bed and your shoulder touches hers. it's the kind of silence where you know everything is going to be okay, that haerin is just right there, beside you making sure you're going to be okay — that there's no reason for you to be scared.

“okay, go ahead.” you tell her.

haerin puts a hand on her face, sighing before she raises it slowly and looks at you — there's a small gap between your face and hers, your nose almost touching hers.

there's nothing to be afraid of… right?

“i… i think i like you, y/n. it's like, i don't understand but i know i have these feelings for you and it's been bothering me for quite a while. i know this might not be a good thing but i hope you're okay with it.” haerin finishes her sentence and you move closer to lean your head to her shoulder, she looks down on your face — all her fear fades away.

even now haerin can't help but feel bad for herself sometimes, it's not easy to keep away from someone she cares for.

“it's okay.” haerin listens well and leans over to your head, getting a whiff of your shampoo.

“i’ll wait.” haerin leans to give your temple a kiss. you giggle, wrapping your arms around her in an embrace.

“you're so warm.” you grumble. “y-yeah, it's kind of hot here.” haerin whispers, you scoff playfully knowing she's making excuses to hide the fact she's flustered.

“thanks a lot haerin, seriously.” you mumble as you look up at her, haerin nods and smiles. “it's nothing, besides it's over now.” you agree and hug her even closer, haerin snuggles her nose on your hair.

minji buries her face in her hands, struggling to fight with the guilt seeping inside of her — maybe it was all her fault you’ve been in pain for so long, when she’s been selfish and mean, she could’ve been there for you instead. she's trying to find the courage to face you, but it's hard when all she sees whenever she closes her eyes is the memory of you crying at her — you're so much better than that, you deserve so much better.

“i can't do this.” minji shakes her head and groans, it's taking a toll on her. every night she wakes up and she wants to look for you but it feels like you're so far away from her. maybe you're running away and she's running out of time.

minji feels the hallway of the hospital stretches into something bigger, wider and emptier. then she's all alone with her thoughts and the voices inside her head until the silence rings into a noise.

maybe one day, she hopes sooner — she finds the courage to face you again.

y/n (⁠/⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠(⁠-⁠ω⁠-⁠)

minji: hey, r u okay now?

minji: i’m so sorry.

minji: :((

minji: i’m so sorry y/n, let's see each other again? i’ll wait for your recovery

“the pillow smells great.” haerin whispers as she watches you lay on your bed, rolling over a few times, missing the comfort of your soft bed sheet, maybe without your tears on it. haerin laughs at the way you gush, pulling her knees to her chest and she keeps her eyes on you.

“i know, i love my bed so much.” you tell her, haerin nods, agreeing as she herself loves the comfort of her own room.

you roll and you lay on your back, hair sprawling all over the bed, you shift your eyes to haerin's direction and smile at her.

with your arms open wide you wordlessly call her to you. haerin sighs before chuckling and eventually reaching over to you in a hug, you feel the warmth of her body close to you and it feels like you're wrapped with a quilt, comforting and secure.

haerin lets you lean your head on her shoulder, hugging her as if she was a tree and you were a koala. “loosen up a bit, you're suffocating me.” haerin playfully complains, you huff and shake your head.

“stay here!” you tell her.

haerin sighs. “alright.”

haerin pats your head, you look up at her and leaned in, your forehead touching hers. you open your lips to say something but you close it immediately. “is something bothering you?” haerin whispers, looking at you with her wondering eyes. you smile at her and shake your head. “it's not that much but — i thought i should say it.”

haerin closes her eyes and opens it again. “go on, say whatever is in your mind.”

you give her a thankful smile, thankful because of how thoughtful she is.

“it's just… i’m worried about minji, because i haven't seen her and i don't want to break our friendship but… i don't know if things will be the same anymore.” you whisper to her and you see haerin nods, giving you a reassuring smile.

“i think it'll be alright… what about you?”

you think about it, you know minji the best and you understand her the most — even after what happened you know eventually you have to fix things together. “i hope so… i can't stand the idea of leaving her alone, she still need a friend. i still want to be there for her.”

“i understand, it's tough but i want you to know it's going to be okay. you got this.” haerin whispers back and you laugh.

“should i really be asking you about this? because —” before you could even speak haerin butts in.

“can i kiss you?”

you laugh. “o-oh geez, of course. i don't mind.” your eyes turn crescent as you smile at her, feeling giddy. haerin's cheeks turns pink and she takes a quick breath before leaning in.

it was short but pure, sweet, and genuine — when you lips touched hers it felt like some fairytales were real, like nothing was impossible. it was short but amazing, when she pulled away you were almost out of breath from the sight of her bright eyes alone.

“i care about whatever you feel — it doesn't matter if it's not about me. i want to know what you think and hear what you want to say, i want to take part of your life even if it's not much.” haerin whispers, suddenly feeling shy and scared.

your eyes widen and your whole face was lighting up — you were out of words but there were so many inside your head.

haerin is an awe-spiring person, she's wonderfully witty, poised, empowered but shy — she's sweet, skittish, worry-wart but lovely.

she's stubborn but listens well, she's got so many thoughts but only a few words.

you think — haerin is so much more than words, maybe more than anything in the world, she's the combination of all the great things in this world: hope, love, dreams, marshmallow, tomato, frogs, and cats.

there's a new found love blooming.

#female reader #kpop #kpop imagines #newjeans #newjeans imagines #girl group #girlgroup imagines #kim minji #haerin x reader #kang haerin #haerin #newjeans haerin #newjeans minji #kim minji x reader #minji x reader #kpop x female reader

[kitkatscabinet]

Lay all your love on me

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x f! Reader

Summary: You've been best friends with Kyle for years, but will a night of drinking and introducing you to his teammates change that?

word count: 1.2k

A/N: unedited, I kind of hate it but wanted to get it out before I start working on all the angst.

He’s holding a beer in one hand, eyes darting between where his phone lay on the table and the door of the pub. His left leg was bouncing in anticipation, drawing an odd glance from Price. 

“Y’alright mate? Barely touched your beer.” Gaz almost didn’t hear him over the ambient background music.

“Hmm?” it took a few seconds for the words to register but when they did he finally tore his eyes from the door towards the table occupied with his teammates, only to find them all staring at him. It’s Soap that answers for him with a wicked smirk, 

“He’s fine, just waiting for his lass to arrive.”

“She’s not my lass. She’s my best friend and she’s a little anxious to meet you all so you better behave“ he sent a stern glare their way, focusing especially on the grinning Scotsman who had his hands raised in surrender. Any wisecrack is cut short by an excited yell of his name. 

He barely manages to turn and stand before he’s got an armful of you, infectious laughter already curbing his annoyance at Soap. It’s only when he realises that perhaps he’s been clutching you just a bit too long to classify as friendly does he pull away, eyes flickering over your face as if trying to memorise every minute detail after months of not seeing you in person.

You’re already blazing ahead however, eager to meet his teammates as you offer them that stunning smile of yours whilst making short work of introductions. By the time he’s returned from the bar with your favourite drink you’ve already slid into the booth next to Ghost, engaged in a passionate debate with Soap. You barely even throw Kyle a second glance apart from thanking him for your drink, before you’re sliding it across to Soap with a dead pan. 

“Drink this. I guarantee that my cocktail is ten times tastier than your shitty tap beer.” Never one to back down from a challenge, Soap makes a show of taking a sip from the straw whilst dramatically rolling his eyes. Though the second the drink hits his tongue it becomes apparent that Soap’s enjoyed the taste, something you pick up on right away with a victorious laugh. 

“You liiiiike it!” you tease, playfully smacking him on the arm before taking back your drink, “have fun drinking your shitty beer.” Kyle could do nothing but watch the interaction sourly, a light frown decorating his face. Were you flirting with Soap? 

“You know, Kyle had me convinced you guys were scary, I had to have a few drinks before I got here to calm my nerves.” You smiled sheepishly as the boys laughed, “What! You made Simon sound like the fucking terminator or something!”

He should be relieved, but for some reason Kyle can only feel irritation at how well you were getting on with the boys, especially Soap. You’re supposed to be his best friend, so why had you sidled up next to his lieutenant, why were you laughing so much at Soap’s jokes? Did you think Soap was funnier than him? 

A voice is suddenly projected through the space, stopping you mid-sentence and Gaz watches as delight fills your face. 

“Karaoke! Oh my god Kyle you have to sing with me!” You’re already on your feet, tugging on his arm impatiently, apparently, you want to be the first performer of the night. A disappointed pout rests on your face as another girl beats you to the punch. He doesn’t want to upset you but Kyle knows he has not had anywhere near enough to drink to get up on a stage and sing for an entire pub, especially not his jeering teammates. 

Watching as your face falls even further into devastation at his refusal he tries not to wince, promising to take you to a karaoke place next time the two of you go out. 

“Awww, but I wanted to sing tonight. It’ll be fun!” As if sensing you were getting nowhere with him you suddenly turned to Soap, eyes bright once more and a question on your lips. You barely get the words out before Gaz is suddenly standing, taking your hand in his and leading you towards the stage. It isn’t until the previous ‘performer’ nears the end of her song that it truly sinks in what he’s done, but you had let out a delighted shriek at his acquiescence and he hadn’t liked the look on Soap’s face when you’d almost asked the Scotsman. 

You’re an excited whirlwind of movement when it’s finally your turn, pulling him on stage by hand and shoving a mic in his face. He’s given no consideration over song choice and it’s clear to everyone watching that you are in charge. The music picks up and Kyle feels something akin to dread as he recognises the introduction of your favourite song. You’d made him sit through Mamma Mia enough times that he could sing the soundtrack in his sleep. 

“I wasn’t jealous before we met, now every woman I see is a potential threat” You're smiling at him, moving close enough that he can smell your perfume as you grab his hand to twirl him. As the first verse nears its end Kyle struggles to pull his eyes from you, a lump building in his throat as his turn to sing draws nearer. 

“It was like shooting a sitting duck, a little small talk a smile and baby I was stuck.” Somehow he managed to get through his verse without stuttering, shoulders loosening as he saw how much fun you were having. His eyes never once leave your face, the words falling from his mouth without the need for subtitles. 

“Don’t go sharing your devotion, lay all your love on me.” As you continued to sing Kyle could almost allow himself to believe that you truly were singing to him. Everything that wasn’t you faded into obscurity, the crowd didn’t exist, nothing did outside of you. Blinding smile that’s focused entirely on him. 

By the time the song ends Kyle is running on adrenaline and what could only be described as delusion filled confidence. As the last words fall from your lips and the crowd cheers, a particular Scottish voice ringing out above the others, Kyle finally lets himself move. Dropping the microphone he reaches out with both hands, one gently clutching your cheek and the other clasping the back of your neck as he closed the distance. You let out an adorably surprised squeak before your eyes fluttered close, lips curving into a giddy smile as you kissed him back. 

The audience cheers grow even louder but neither of you care, even as you pull away. Resting his forehead against yours Kyle is at a loss for words, but you seemingly aren’t. “Is that why you’ve been glaring at Soap like he killed your puppy all night?” It takes a few seconds for your words to process but once they do Gaz lets out an incredulous squawk, only to be silenced by you leaning in to press your lips against his once more. His right hand briefly leaving the warmth of your cheek in order to flip off the jeers coming from the corner he knew his teammates to be located.

#kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick x reader #gaz x reader #cod mw x reader #x reader

[textfromthelookout]

if you have the time, I wanna know what makes vegeta so compelling to you, whole ass character arc stuff and what not. I wanna hear you go off on your short king.

Anon do you understand what you’ve unleashed? I don’t think you understand what you’ve unleashed. Or if you do understand, I can almost guarantee you aren’t prepared. This is almost 3000 words of me frothing at the mouth. I hope you know you asked for this. Like the reason I was so late answering was because I wanted to do it justice and could not figure out what I wanted to yell about first.

I guess to understand why Vegeta’s development is so fucking staggering to me, you have to understand who he starts as when you meet him.

Vegeta is around 4 or 5 when Freeza destroys Vegetasei. He’s roughly 30 when he comes to Earth for immortality. In between are two and a half decades of being taken from, which he suffers only because he believes wholeheartedly that he will grow strong enough to kill Freeza and take it all back from him. He lands on Earth with little to his name beyond his pride in who and what he is, and power that, while paltry compared to Freeza and the people in his inner circle, surpassed and still surpasses every member of his race.

Right?

One of the biggest things about Vegeta in Z is that there is A Way Things Are Supposed To Go and when they go any other way, he cannot let it go. Losing to anybody other than the people he has known for years can kill him is unacceptable. Even more so if it’s to another Saiyan. Even more so when this Saiyan is such a disgrace to the blood in his veins. The loss is an impossibility and has to be rectified. Vegeta limps off of Earth with two big driving forces now: kill Freeza for vengeance, kill Kakarot to mend his pride (or at least beat him so far into the ground that his superiority is unquestionable).

Namek is where Vegeta gets really interesting. He’s fresh off a stinging defeat that put a couple cracks into his sense of certainty and self. He knows a way to get what he wants (the Dragon Balls on Namek). He’s in a race against the powers that be for it. He has something of an ace in the hole in that he worked out how to sense ki while he was flying half dead through space, so he’s no longer forced to rely on a scouter—on Freeza’s technology. He intends to make a clean break, and for a while it goes according to plan. Zarbon’s a stumbling block, but he makes it work in his favor, takes all the Dragon Balls Freeza collected and escapes with his life to boot.

And then another repeating theme surrounding Vegeta in Z comes into play. He’ll be a hairsbreadth from getting everything he wants before it all comes crashing down around him, largely due to things entirely outside his control. He couldn’t have used the Dragon Balls even if he had decided to press Gohan on what he was doing in the middle of nowhere with a ‘watch’, because he doesn’t have a password. The Ginyu Force thrashes him, Goku shows up stronger than ever. It’s fine though, because now he knows how to get the Dragon Balls to work, so he’ll never suffer defeat again—it’s a moot point.

…Right?

I think that the point in the story where Vegeta well and truly starts to come unraveled as a person is pretty immediately after Porunga dies and Freeza starts cycling through his transformations. Because like, rudimentary or no, Vegeta’s ki-sensing ability still works. He’s suddenly faced with irrefutable proof, that he can feel in the entire essence of his being, that his power is nothing to Freeza. And he lies to himself, because he can’t accept that he’s outclassed by the magnitude he is. Because this isn’t The Way Things Are Supposed To Go. He’s supposed to avenge his people and embody the legend. He refuses to bend, and so, he breaks.

And it’s sad, y’know? The way he just… stops fighting. For his whole life, he sweats and bleeds and swallows his bruised pride for the sake of survival and hope and what does it get him? I think all the goddamn time about the anime’s interpretation of this, where Vegeta being broken for Piccolo/Gohan/Krillin to witness up close is a deliberate choice on Freeza’s part*. In fact, I may never stop thinking about it. It’s not enough that Vegeta loses his will to fight, he has to know that others know that he gave up, that he can’t do anything against this monster even if he hadn’t. It’s a stunningly cruel blow precisely because he’s so proud and strong.

The man who dies on Namek crying at the feet of both of his bitterest enemies, begging one of them to kill the other for the sake of their race—who in that final moment lets his helpless frustration, his grief, his pride in his people supersede his own personal pride as warrior and prince—is not the same man who fought Goku on Earth. That man is in pieces, and Vegeta will spend every moment for years afterward trying to put him back together with saltwater and desperation. We meme on how death means basically nothing in Dragon Ball, but I go nuts thinking about how, intentionally or not, Toriyama managed to twist that to work with Vegeta’s development.

Because now Vegeta has to reckon with his many abject failures for longer than the few minutes before sweet oblivion, you see. Now it all matters again. As long as he’s alive, he’s still being taken from.

(Bulma’s one of the few—if not the only—person to simply give him something without coercion, or prompting, or obligation. Certainly the first we see. She had every reason to tell him to fuck off, really. She didn’t have to offer him a place to stay.)

Vegeta has a transitive hierarchical logic on strength, which comes up again towards the end of Cell that I’ll touch on when we get there, but for now it will suffice to say that in order to keep moving forward, he has to readjust his purpose in life to focus solely on beating Goku. If he beats Goku, then he beats Freeza, since Goku beat Freeza. Step one, obviously, is attaining Super Saiyan. And he’s so fucking committed to that that he unwittingly locks himself out of it, up until he leaves partway through the three year gap before the androids.

I could write another entire essay on how Super Saiyan can be read as a trauma response and how it differs between all the Saiyans in Cell saga (and especially about Goku on Namek), but this is surely already more than you bargained for when you opened this can of worms, so, Vegeta. When I think of Vegeta’s awakening to Super Saiyan, I tend to default to the original dub’s take (ep129), because it has lived in my head rent free since I saw it and it will not give me peace.

Take this part of my rambling with a grain of salt, I know I’m about to get a little ‘it’s not that deep’ about it, but. Here’s my interpretation of this. Vegeta only attains Super Saiyan once he has done away with distractions—not entirely because now he can focus on nothing but his training, but because he’s inadvertently given himself space to even begin to process all the shit from the last 25 years of his life, even if he fights it every step of the way as weakness. All the self-hatred, yes, but also the aforementioned frustration, the grief, the anger. The helplessness. ‘I didn’t care if I lived. I didn’t care about anything.’

Ultimately the trigger to Super Saiyan is a single moment of all-consuming emotion, so whichever thread of canon you personally subscribe to, the facts are that something happened in Vegeta out there in the middle of nowhere space. And he returns to Earth riding high. I’m not gonna lie, he’s rocking some seriously manic energy when he shows up to waste Android 19, and honestly why wouldn’t he be? He’s latched onto this new power and he doesn’t have to feel anything else. Things are finally going right. He’s invincible. He’s the king again. This is The Way Things Are Supposed To Go.

…

…right?

Super Saiyan is supposed to be a solution for Vegeta, and instead it eventually turns itself into a problem during Cell and the androids. To be fair, he can’t misestimate the strength of an opponent he can’t sense in the first place, but even so, he’s so blinded by the euphoria of succeeding for once in his goddamn life that he can’t imagine that anything can be stronger than him. Androids 17 and 18 are a rude fucking awakening. They are the ultimate pulling-the-rug-out-from-under-you vibe check. All those pieces that he struggled so hard to put back together, kicked apart again without thought or effort. He has a bit of a crisis over it, understandably.

In the interest of brevity, I’m glossing over the intermediary parts between Vegeta coming out of the time chamber (wish we had more info on what transpired in there, personally) and the tail end of the Cell saga, because it’s something of a repeat of what he did with Freeza, except he’s using Goku’s ‘let Freeza power up to 100% to hammer home his superiority’ logic. I made a previous post on my main blog about the post-Cell part of Vegeta’s character arc, which I’ll copy down here with some minor revisions:

The hell of Vegeta swearing to never fight again is that he actually follows through, at least in the beginning.

There are seven years between Cell and Buu. In every version of the media I’ve gone through—English manga, uncut dub, uncut JP, Kai dub—Bulma says that Vegeta has trained the last five years before the tournament. Which can only mean that there was a two year gap right after the Cell Games where he didn’t train at all.

And like. Can you really blame him. His purpose in life has been cut out from under him not once but twice, first by Goku attaining Super Saiyan and avenging their people by killing Freeza, and then by Goku’s decision to stay dead and deny him the opportunity to surpass him. His strength has proven insufficient time and again no matter how hard he works, overshadowed by that of a boy half his age, who doesn’t even like to fight. His pride hinges on both of those things and even before that was mercilessly trampled on. He has no people. No planet. No purpose, power, or pride.

I really do think the only things keeping him going by this point are inertia and spite. Almost without doubt, this is the absolute nadir of Vegeta’s existence: at least, the nadir for the man he thinks he has to be, or can’t reconcile not being. If he has nothing, if the last things tethering him to his supposed innate nature (to borrow a line from this fic, shameless plug,) are torn away from him, what is left for him to do but accept defeat and submit to change?

What he doesn’t know yet is that that’s okay. He doesn’t know yet, but the seven years that Goku is no longer a presence in his life is perhaps the best thing Goku could have possibly given him. Without Goku physically there to be actionable on (for lack of a better phrase), new things can grow in the spaces where his animosity and aggression burned holes in him. Even if Vegeta is still nursing the embers of that blaze and ignoring the encroaching growth as hard as he can, he is still beginning to care about things that the old him wouldn’t. (coming back to Vegeta’s logic on strength: to Vegeta, Gohan’s victory over Cell is also Goku’s victory, and Trunks’ loss is his own loss. Bulma mentions to Gohan that he’s dead set on making Trunks stronger than him, and why would Vegeta care about that goal specifically unless Trunks’ victory over Gohan is also Vegeta’s victory over Goku?)

And then.

And then all of a sudden, Goku is back in the picture. And when he comes back, so does the Vegeta from before, like a relapse.

Because as much growing as does, he still has seven years to gnaw on the same question he has been for ages now. Why is Goku so much stronger than he is, being what he is? Why is he so inadequate? There is now a window, fleeting as it may be, for Vegeta to get some answers he had no reason to assume he’d ever get. There is now the terrible possibility that he can make things go The Way They Are Supposed To Go. And Goku’s willing to let him take that shot and get those answers, right up until the whole business surrounding Buu disrupts everything and then he isn’t anymore.

Because the thing is, they were scheduled to fight each other before anybody else. Vegeta was not supposed to see the gap between himself and Goku until he was experiencing it firsthand. Picture for a minute the timeline in which the tournament plays out normally. Goku and Vegeta fight, Goku wins, and then Vegeta’s only recourse is to demand answers from Goku—who would surely give them, to the best of his ability!—or to come to his own conclusions and act from there. Either he makes peace with affairs, uneasy as it may be, or he blows up immediately, and Goku is there to stop him before he gets too out of hand. Instead, what happens is that he’s given the opportunity to realize that he’s still inferior, he still doesn’t understand why, and most importantly, that there’s a third option open to him. At the cost of his will, there is a way.

Submitting to Babidi to force Goku’s hand and close the gap is the act of a man who knows that he is running out of time. Whatever pride Vegeta still has would not possibly have allowed this unless he was so desperate for closure that he couldn’t see another way. For ten years he’s been trying to rebuild a sandcastle below the high tide line, and it’s not that he’s too stupid to move farther up so he isn’t freshly shattered at every pass—it’s just that trying to power through in the face of futility is literally all that he knows to do. He has been coming apart stitch by stitch ever since he met Goku, his worldview and his preconceptions of destiny and self dissolving in slow motion under his feet. Goku will only be here for a day. This is the last chance he has, and he knows it. He knows he’s not going to see Goku in the afterlife, even before he asks Piccolo.

What the fuck else was he supposed to do?

The music in the background of this scene is ‘Trapped Between Past and Present’ and if that doesn’t sum up the backbone of Vegeta’s arc in Z, then there’s nothing that does.

The beauty of his sacrifice is that he still has the mark of evil on his forehead when he dies, even though he’s bucked Babidi’s mind control by that point. He chooses the present. He chooses to symbolically and very literally raze his old self to the ground for the sake of all that his new self cares for. That is why the impermanence of death in Dragon Ball works for him. That’s why I go insane over the Majin arc specifically. New growth roots in ashes, phoenixes and sapling trees both.

Super (and end of Z) is where you get to luxuriate in that growth and watch it pay off, and oh my god does it ever pay off. Without going deep into spoiler territory (formally begging all of you to read the manga here), the later arcs begin to address Vegeta reckoning with his personal sins against the Namekians, and those of his race, who destroyed countless worlds under Freeza. Vegeta and Beerus have a conversation in chapter 69 of Super where things I’ve described in this here essay are worded explicitly into the canon. I think of it to this day. I think of all of the things Vegeta does in Super and I think it’s incredible just how far he’s come.

Before creation comes destruction.

Alright that’s enough pretentious meta. Here’s Vegeta being very happy about a well-earned victory. Isn’t he so fuckin’ cute.

*ep85, or 41 if you prefer Kai

#vegeta #dbz #dragon ball z #dragonball z #wanna hear me talk about dragonball characters? WANNA HEAR ME TALK ABOUT EM SOME MORE? #drop an ask or smth bc boy have I got things to say about Things. #i swear to god i didn't send this ask to myself #basia and breezee if it was one of you you better fess up right now #long post #text from the mod

[cowgurrrl]

I've been rotting away in bed all weekend recovering from a cold and I made the mistake of rereading some parts of OFTM and I miss them so much 😭 how's our favorite famous duo doing? I can't stop thinking about reader having to defend/support joel for whatever reason, but it's with the vibe of this meme LMAO like that is HER man, how dare people say anything about him

J!!! I love this request!! Thank you for sending it in and I’m sorry it took so long 🩷

Girls on Film

Pairing: rockstar!joel x actress!reader

Summary: this ask

Warnings: unedited because you can’t make me, discussions of toxic behavior, language, Joel being a dilf, June once again not knowing how to properly end a fic, I think that’s it??

Joel is protective of his kids. Sometimes, a little too much, in your opinion but you didn’t marry him because he does things half-way. With each new addition to the family, his papa bear instincts grew and grew. And if you’re being completely honest, his protectiveness and love for his kids is part of the reason why you ended up with five kids to begin with.

When he was giving his interview to People during his Sexiest Man Alive shoot, he was asked what accomplishment of his he’s most proud of. Without missing a beat, he said, “my family.” He went into what little detail you use to talk about the kids in a public setting, even getting a little misty-eyed in the process. The second the crew was out of your house, you nearly jumped his bones right then and there. You found out you were pregnant with the girls about two months later.

So, yeah, he’s a great dad, and it’s super hot. Whatever. It’s universally known within your family that there’s almost nothing he wouldn’t do for his kids. He just loves them with everything he has and wants them to live full and happy lives. Which is fine until he bears his claws in public.

Following a particularly problematic documentary with some of today’s biggest stars, Joel was more than ready to say what had been on his mind when an interviewer stopped him on a red carpet and asked, “are there any people in the music industry you wouldn’t let your daughters date?” The daughters in question were never specified but it’s either between his married thirty-one year old, his lesbian (also married) twenty-eight year old, or his three year old twins. He wasn’t comfortable thinking about any option.

“My kids are free to date anyone they want, but we have a strict no assholes policy in our house.” He said and the interviewer raised her eyebrows. “Like I wouldn’t let ‘em date any of those idiots from that documentary.”

“Why do you say that?” The interviewer asked and Joel shrugged.

“My kids deserve better than some fucker in black eyeliner claimin’ to save rock ‘n roll when all he’s doing is being a sexist pig who makes shitty music.” By the time his words reached your ears, it was too late to stop him. The clip from the interview was making the rounds before you can even get home.

Paul, his poor, poor manager of several years, reaches out to him the next morning to ask if he wants to make a statement, amends, anything to smooth this over. Joel curtly responds to his long email with a short, “no,” and that ends the conversation. What’s even worse if you can’t even argue with him. He’s right. You’ve seen first hand how people in the music industry treat each other and it’s awful. Why should he be the one who gets shit on because he spotlighted other people’s behavior?

You are able to dodge questions, paparazzi, and others wanting to know the inside scoop for weeks until you feel yourself getting just as frustrated as Joel was. Leave it to the press to want the wife to offer explanation for her husband’s actions. It isn’t until you get an offer from Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen that you agree to even think about saying anything.

That night, Joel stays home with the kids and watches you walk out on stage with Carolina in a long bell bottoms, platform wedges, and your (Joel’s) favorite vintage band shirt. You and Carolina hug Andy and get some initial questions answered but it doesn’t take long before the subject turns to Joel.

“Now, I know everything’s been very hush, hush but Joel started a lot of discourse online about the music industry. What can you tell us about what he said?” He asks and you nod, smiling and playing with your wedding ring.

“That’s been like the question of the month, hasn’t it?” You joke to break the ice. “Look, I think we all saw the same documentary. We all heard what those men said and to act like we didn’t is, honestly, kind of ridiculous. Joel knows the industry better than I do and he knows that nothing is going to change unless you call out the people making it miserable for younger kids.”

“So, you agree with what he said?”

“One hundred percent. He was right that we have a no assholes policy for our kids but, other than that, we really don’t have rules about their dating lives,” you say. “And I think he was right to call out those guys. It’s not fair that they get protected by their little boys club and that just has to be the way things go. I think it’s bullshit.”

“You seem to feel passionately about this.” Andy says and you nod.

“Well, it’s not just because people are coming after my husband. It’s because we’ve both seen what any toxic environment can do to people which is why he owns his own label now.”

“And it’s doing very well. He just signed one of the biggest breakout stars of the year, didn’t he?”

“He did. And you know why it’s doing so well?” You ask, leaning in like you’re about to tell him a secret. “Because he doesn’t sign assholes. He doesn’t put his name next to theirs. He doesn’t even want to be associated with them because for as much as it’s his name, it’s also my name and our kids’ names. So, people can say whatever they want about what Joel said but I will support him and his mission and when his artists start winning Grammy’s and spots in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, we won’t even remember the names of the people who got fifteen minutes of fame and a shitty sound bite to show for themselves.” You say and somewhere in California, Joel nearly jumps out of his seat with excitement, praising you like you’re there with him.

The second you walk off stage, your phone lights up with Joel’s contact photo and you laugh as you answer it. “Will you marry me?” He asks before you can even say hello.

“I’m assuming you saw the show.”

“Saw it? Baby, I recorded it,” he says. “When are you comin’ home?”

“Tomorrow. You’re supposed to pick me up, remember?” You ask and he groans.

“You ain’t allowed to be that sexy on TV across the country.”

“Keep it your pants, cowboy. I’ll be home soon.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He sighs dejectedly like a ten-year-old.

When you get back to California the next day, the discourse has been put to rest and Joel is almost giddy when he watches you come down the escalator. The flowers in his hand get crushed when you hug him tight and let him kiss you like he hasn’t seen you in years. “Where are my children?” You ask when he finally pulls away and he smirks.

“With Ryan. The kids wanted to have a play date.”

“So, the house is empty?”

“And clean.”

“Joel Miller, will you marry me?” You echo his question from earlier and he laughs.

Then, like a perfect gentleman, he takes your suitcase, opens doors for you, and drive you home to properly fuck the shit out of you. (Author’s note: I want to put <3 right here so mf bad but I won’t because I’m a professional. PS old man rockstar!joel fucks severely. PPS it’s canon because I say so)

#one for the money two for the show #rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader #rockstar!joel miller #the last of us au #tlou au #joel miller au #joel miller fluff #joel miller series #joel miller the last of us #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller

[runnning-outof-time]

Will you please do “I could never get tired of you.” for Tommy from the fluff prompts?

Hi there, anon! Thanks so much for sending this in!! Sorry it took a little bit to get to. I hope you enjoy the story! 🥰❤️

Thank you for helping me celebrate hitting 2K followers! Want to read more blurbs from this celebration? Check out this post!

Something Keeping You Up?

Tommy Shelby

Warnings: none

(Y/N) decides to go into Tommy’s office late one night to find out for herself why he hasn’t joined her in bed yet.

She’d already put on her nightgown and had her hair pinned up out of her face, but (Y/N) wasn’t quite ready for bed yet. It’d been tough getting to sleep these last few nights, and she knew the exact reason why. Tommy wasn’t in bed with her.

She figured it was just the business he was dealing with on the first night. After the second night, she thought that maybe his meeting got pushed back a few days. Now, Tommy was going on his fifth night of staying in his office well past the time that his wife put their three year old to bed.

Sure, helping out with Charlie’s bedtime routine wasn’t an everyday thing that Tommy did, but partaking in her routine was something he did nightly. So now that he was absent, she felt like she was missing a part of herself.

Tonight, however, things were going to change. She’d become adament on that. So she made her way to the wing of the house that held his office and knocked gently on the door. His muffled response telling her to come in came short after, so she did just that.

“Having trouble sleeping?” Tommy asked her as he took his glasses off and sat them down on the pile of papers he’d been working through.

“As a matter of fact, I am,” (Y/N) answered him as she walked into the office.

“Something keeping you up?” he asked another question, his brows furrowed.

“Yes,” she didn’t even try to beat around the bush.

“What is it?” he sounded slightly worried now.

“You’re not in bed with me,” she gave her answer almost immediately after he was finished speaking. Tommy raised his eyebrows as he heard his wife’s complaint. She decided to elaborate more on her initial statement, “you always come to bed with me, but you’ve not come in once this entire week,” a slight pout formed on her face as she then asked a question in a hushed voice, “are you tired of spending time with me?”

(Y/N) was afraid to hear his answer. She knew that she was probably overreacting to the situation, and that he was probably just tied up with his work, but she couldn’t stop herself from wondering it. And once she was wondering it, she knew that she could either continue worrying about it and let it fester, or she could come right out and ask him about it.

Tommy was shocked by her sudden question, and the worries she expressed with it. “I could never get tired of you, love,” he told her, his voice unwavering as he spoke with sincerity.

“No?” she timidly checked to make sure, hating that she probably sounded like a small child as she said this.

“No,” he affirmed, shaking his head for extra effect, “I’ve been putting more time into checking over these acquisitions that the company has taken on. Ada’s given me some idea on them, but I can’t be too sure, so I wanted to look over it myself,” he explained the reason behind him being locked in his office until such a late hour. “I’m sorry that I’ve made it seem like I’d rather be spending time on this instead of with you,” he added at the end.

(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile as he spoke. Just him affirming the fact that she was overthinking this whole situation turned her night around. Tommy sat back in his chair then and pushed his thumbs against his eyelids as he let out a sigh.

“Tired?” (Y/N) hazarded a guess, hoping she was still able to read his non-verbal cues.

“Very,” he agreed with her, the strain in his voice emphasizing the fact.

“Why don’t you come to bed with me?” she then suggested, her one eyebrow quirked as she finished speaking.

He dropped his hands to his lap and looked over at his wife, making her think that he was thinking over his options for a few moments. “That doesn’t sound half bad,” he then told her, his decision making her smile.

“Perfect,” she said, giddiness apparent in her voice. The sound of it made him smile. “Come to bed with me, Tommy Shelby,” she said to him then, and that was all he needed to stand from his chair and take the hand she’d stretched out in his direction.

“Gladly, (Y/N) Shelby,” he responded with a grin as he allowed her to lead them to their master suite.

———

Tagged: @mgcllovdrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @golden-hoax @elenavampire21 @peaky-cillian @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @rangerelik @lovemissyhoneybee @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica

MASTERLIST

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby blurb #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x y/n #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders blurb #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #root2kfollowercelebration

[melancholysway]

Were you serious about wanting to receive asks for the 2007 movie iteration of the turtles? Because I would die for a caring reader wanting to spoil the boys with a hot, relaxing bath with scented candles and maybe a bit of a massage, they deserve to be pampered!!!

I GOT YOU OMFG I LOVE

IM SPLITTING THIS UP BC I LOVE TMNT 2007 & I WANNA SPACE IT OUT SO PEOPLE CAN SEE A BUNCH OF '07 CONTENT ON THEIR FEED

i also had this done and rly rly wanted to get this out

also i love '07 raph and leo (i know i just said I hated him in a previous post but idc rn i love him)

TMNT 2007! Imagines: Caring S/O [Leo/Raph]

looking for Donnie and Mikey's? Click here !

Leonardo

Imagine surprising Leo with a relaxing bath.

It’s the first time since Leo’s return that you’ve all gone to Casey’s grandma’s farmhouse. Now, the good thing about it is that it’s always available for your use!

So as you all pile up in the shell-raiser while Raph drives his bike with Casey, you’re all ready for a nice relaxing, well-needed vacation

Especially Leonardo.

It’s been hard on him after Winter’s. Sure, he’s rebuilt his relationship with Raph, and they’re cool now- everything was. But…

Something’s been weighing on his mind.

Was he really stronger? He didn’t even see the dart hit him, he was so caught up that he forgot about his own safety, and almost got sacrificed by some 3000-year-old stone guys because of it.

Not only this but, was your relationship still the same with him?

He beats himself over not sending you letters anymore during his training. He knows (thanks to a slightly irritated Donnie,) that you thought he wanted nothing to do with you while on his training; with no distractions. Or worse, that he was dead. 

“You should talk to Y/n, your absence has also been hard for them, much like Raphael.” He remembers what his father said when he came back. It rings through his head all the time because he didn’t mean to leave you hanging like that. 

You work on rebuilding your relationship after the whole Winters thing because Leo comes home at the perfect time when everything was chaotic. 

He starts by apologizing. He should’ve at least told you the reason why he was going to stop, but, he doesn’t remember exactly why. 

“I was caught up in my own world, and all of a sudden, I just stopped. I stopped writing.” 

This was a double entendre, writing to his brothers, yes, but writing in general for Leo was one of his strong suits. He loved to write. He was great at poetry and had a thing for short narratives. 

He has a dream that he can be an author- that’s what he would love to do. 

When you forgive him and take him back with open arms, he’s so happy he could scream.

Because he fucked up. He’s lucky that you loved him as much as you did. 

As he sits next to you and watches the farmhouse come closer into view, he’s excited. This trip meant that he could spend some overdue quality time with you. 

“Please, I’m beggin’ ya, there are kids here. And by kids I mean Mikey,” Raphael says to Leo before retreating to his room with Mikey already whipping out his comic collection for him and his older brother to browse. This innuendo makes Leo blush, but it’s not something on his mind as a priority. Yes, he’s missed you, and yes, he’s missed loving on you, but right now, he wanted to ease back into things. 

If it happens, it happens. He was content with anything.

He’s excited, especially when he comes into your shared guest room and it’s dimly lit. Sharing a bed and room with you was something he had been looking forward to. It meant quality time.

Alone time, a romantic time. Something that had been lacking for the year and change of his training.

As you both got the room with a bathroom inside, he sees the candlelight become more prominent under the bathroom door, almost glowing in an enticing manner.

It’s left open a crack, but he doesn’t know where you’re at. It can’t be you in there, so he opens the door slowly, wondering what could be on the other end.

He’s shocked when he sees it. He sees the tub filled with bubbles, as the humidity from the hot water clings to his skin. The smooth music from his favorite indie group playing on the speaker- your speaker. The eucalyptus leaves hang from the showerhead, and the scent fills the room. 

“Hey.” Your soft voice tickles his ears, and he’s set. 

As he turns around to you, he smiles at your form. You stand in the doorway, laughing softly at how happy he seemed as you explain what the hell this all is.

“It’s…for you. You deserve a night off just relaxing. Some Leo time, if you will.”

He accepts your offer as he could almost cry at how nicely you put this all together, that you thought about him this whole time. 

“Join me?” Leo couldn’t help but ask. 

You do. You do in fact join. 

And…it’s amazing. Leo unwraps his bandages and unties his mask, getting inside and immediately feeling relaxed as soon as the hot water touches his body. Leo’s favorite thing had to be baths, especially when he was younger. He loved to just sit inside and let time pass until the water became cold.

You take off your clothes, walking over to the tub as you sit in front of Leo, his hands immediately wrapping around you. 

He feels like home to you, as you do to him. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He apologizes. Once you both get comfortable and sit in stillness, enjoying each other’s presence, he just says it. He’s apologized for being absent and the letters stopping before, but he can’t help but continue to feel guilty for it. 

Your fingers draw circles in his hands, and you look back at him, kissing him gently on the cheek. 

“You’re here now, that’s what I care about.” 

That just sends him over. Because you truly forgive him after all that. After all that he’s done- or his lack thereof.

You forgive him.

“How did I get so lucky, seriously.” He mutters just loud enough for you to hear. He could die in this position. He was holding you, while you both shared a rather platonic intimate moment with each other. You chose to mix Epsom salt with the tub water, and Leo’s muscles and joints had never felt so relaxed in a bath before. That was your secret ingredient, just for your boyfriend.

So when you both seemingly cuddle in the tub, Leo, for the first time since being taken and having to battle for the curse of Yaotl, is 100% relaxed and calm. 

Because that’s how Leo is. He’s cool, calm, and collected. At least, he tries to be. Most of the time he is, depending on the situation. 

But right now, with you, he has nothing but positive thoughts running through his mind.

He thanks you with a kiss on your forehead, followed by a tight squeeze around your waist, he’s missed this.

Being so close to you, so happy, so at home. 

He can’t thank you enough. 

Raphael

Ah Raph

My favorite turtle out of this whole movie

King behavior king energy and he’s getting the king treatment yall!

Leo’s absence had been hard on him, honestly. 

He’s around you more, not that he didn’t already spend his time with you, but he seemed to gravitate toward you at any point. Like he HAD to be around you.  

You comfort him a lot of the time. Yes, Leo was your friend; yes, you miss him dearly. But, he should have continued to write to everyone.

Raph comes over all the time because the Lair reminds him too much of the memories of Leo. 

He thinks his brother is dead at one point. 

It crosses his mind while patrolling as the Nightwatcher, after being a few weeks overdue for a letter from Leo

He comes to your window, broken, with a frail state of mind. Because he really doesn’t want his brothers to see him like this, but he can’t deal with the thought of losing his older brother-his mentor-his right-hand man- alone. 

You take him in, of course, and it’s the first time Raph has cried in front of anybody other than his Sensei. You just sit there and hold him for hours, eventually falling asleep with his head on your lap once he calms down. 

You hoped Leo was okay, and when months go by, April sees him while on a business trip

“Baby, he’s alive, look-“ you show him the text from April, and he gets the same one just a few moments later from the redhead. 

He’s relieved but mad at the same time. 

So, he begins to resent his older brother. He had no business putting Raph in that headspace. 

So when Leo comes back and everything goes down, he’s so glad he has you. He appreciates you so much. 

After the fight with the stone generals, he sleeps the whole day, getting up to shower and see you. Because he wants to tell you how much he appreciates you. 

He’s cried in front of you, and that’s the ultimate sign of comfort from Raph. He often keeps more fragile emotions inside him. So for him to break down like that in front of you (and Splinter as well,) is a beautiful realization that he feels safe being vulnerable around you. 

He comes up to your window, smiling as he watches you brush your hair, admiring your body and facial features. As he knocks on your window and takes you out of your own little world, you welcome him inside, giving him a slew of kisses on his lips, and ending it with a soft peck on his forehead. 

He needed that forehead kiss btw

That’s his weakness. He likes loving kisses like that. Though he may not be vocal about it, you can tell by his face that he enjoys it. 

“Hello ta ya too, angel.”

And as you sit together, your hands make their way around Raph’s body. Your hands seem to gravitate toward his shoulders, and before you know it, you’re massaging Raph’s arms and shoulders. 

“Wha…what are ya doin?” Not that he’s complaining, but he HAS to ask. 

Because it feels good, and you’ve never done it before

“Judging by your soreness and tenseness lately, you could use a calming massage.”

He just looks at you for a moment, before he gives in, with a small smile dancing on his lips as he turns around and lets you go back to what you were doing.

He’s all for touching, and this right here was something he needed. 

It’s no surprise that he just relaxes under your touch. As you go to work on his (very sexy) muscles, you can feel just how tense they are. Raphael doesn’t like to stretch after a workout, so it’s really not a shock that his sore muscles are enjoying everything that your hands are doing 

He just sits there in front of you while his shell is back to you, and you can’t help but feel his shoulders- his biceps- every muscle this turtle has been working on perfecting. 

And he loves it. He loves that you find him and his body attractive because it’s something he resented about himself.

“I love you.” 

Now, you’ve said I love you to Raph only a handful of times. It wasn’t something that he or you said too much. You didn’t overuse the word. It held meaning, and it wasn’t something he wanted to just throw around. So when you told each other that you loved each other, it was seriously special.

“And…I’m glad that Leo came back alive. For your sake..” 

You say that sincerely, seeing Raphael break down as he did was hard for you. He’s always so strong, that it hurt to see him like that. He truly needed you to comfort him that night, and he’s been so glad that you did.

And as he’s sitting there in front of you, eyes staring off into a dark abyss since they’re closed, he thinks that he fell in love with the right one. 

“I love ya too Y/n. Really.” 

He makes small grunts when you touch particularly tense areas on him, and even lets a quiet moan out when you successfully got a knot out in his neck. It all felt so good. He could just sit with you doing this for hours; days even.

Because honestly, 2007 Raph just needs someone to appreciate and love him. To be there at the rare times he is weak. That’s just how he is.

SELF PROMO: I have a 2007 Raph x Female Reader posted on literally every fanfic site you can think of except for fanfiction.net LMAO, it’s on here as well just go to my masterlist! [its called serendipity!] enjoy!

//

Taglist:

@bee-1n-space

Masterlist

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2007 #tmnt headcanons #tmnt imagines #raphael #leonardo #tmnt x reader #leo x reader #raph x reader #tmnt fanfiction

[atxxzist]

broken | c.s (12)

prev // next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x reader

word count: under 2k lmfao

warning: nothing but lmk

a/n: its short but i needed this scene to be its own standalone chapter

you wish you can say the night san left is the last time he breaks your heart.

it would be ideal to say everything ended there; that although you can still recall the feeling of emptiness from waking up to nothing, it spared you from the worst heartbreak possible.

a heartbreak that you would then seek out on your own because you're all too good at self sabotage and chasing temptation; a complete hypocrite you are, angry at san for not ending things sooner but now that he did, it's so unsatisfying.

this can't possibly just be it.

there's still so many unanswered questions, so much resentment, and so many unspoken wounds that needs to be addressed.

he's caused you so much pain one after another, and he can't just... walk out without giving you some form of closure. you feel you deserve that, at the very least.

the morning you head to his apartment is the most low, pathetic, and desperate you've been, even the you a couple months ago would be disappointed. but you suppose she would understand if she knew just how everything's gone to shit within the past few days.

the walk of shame up the stairs is halted when you meet those familiar pair of eyes that causes an immediate sink to your stomach.

he has a cigarette between his fingers and pulls back only to pinch his brows together at your appearance.

you shouldn't be here. everything was supposed to end after he left.

the quiet and hesitant steps continues to be taken until you stop in front of him, gaze leveling his, and though you haven't said anything, your eyes tells it all.

a reflection of everything you've gone through, and you're tired, defeated, even more so than the night at wooyoung's party.

whatever you have to say, and whatever you're here for... he knows he won't be able to give to you.

you linger on the cigarette in his hold before prying away, the entire time ignorant to the fact he even smokes.

san thought he was also done with it given he haven't touched any other forms of addiction beside alcohol in more than half a year, but the withdrawal from you is just about the worst one, old habits started showing up just to numb everything temporarily.

the separation is taking a toll on him just as much as it is to you.

"you shouldn't be here," he's the first to break the thick tension, taking one last dig at the cigarette before throwing it down, but he refuses to look at you, whether out of shame or annoyance.

"i know..." you reply, almost like a whisper, but there's not a lot of time to dwell in the awkwardness of the situation because he's already making way back inside with you not missing a beat behind him.

"then why are you?"

the harsh and blunt delivery makes you stop in track, because san isn't one for confrontations. he usually avoids them. but you register that at this point in time, there's no more pretending.

the facades you both had put in front of each other for so long are gone, and all that's left is a broken history between two people who started it for all the wrong reasons.

"because i want answers."

your voice is so full of confidence, he wouldn't be able to tell just how nervous you really are. how, you still feel so small and fragile, he could break you without trying.

but if there's one thing you learned from being with san, is that if you want to stand a chance, you would have to play his game.

stand tall and act like you're not the tiniest bit intimidated by the slight tilt of his head and the burning of his gaze as he looks you up from the couch.

a quiet sigh leaves him, watching as he goes on to shake his head in slight irritation, you can't help but to feel some type of way at the gesture.

"i don't know what more i could say to you that i already didn't--"

"--all of this. why did you do it?" but the confidence only turns to remnants of betrayal, he has to keep from recoiling.

"i told you, y/n. i gave you a choice, we made a deal and you agreed to everything."

"we made a deal, but i said i wanted out only for you to bust into my freaking room--"

you flinch in position when he suddenly gets up and walks over, his looming figure almost closing you in against the wall as fear quickly washes in.

"--you think i don't know that? i was there. so tell me again, why the fuck are you here?"

"because i want to know why the hell you took me on that trip! why did you stayed all those nights, and why were there times you actually seemed genuine, only for you to always walk out... always leaving me hanging..."

san goes from aggravated to feeling guilty in a matter of seconds, his body language softens at your frustration, only for a low mutter to fall out, "even if i tell you, it won't matter. none of this will."

"nothing ever matters when it comes to you, san. but it matters to me, because you knew i was stupid, naive, and easily manipulated, and you took advantage of that--"

"i know!" the volume makes you jump, "i know i fucked up, i know this is all my fault! that's why i'm trying to fix it!"

"how is this fixing anything?"

"because if i had stayed, would that have been any better?"

the thought knocks, and it knocks you over hard to the point of denial.

"i don't know what it would be like if we actually gave this a chance, because the entire time i feel like you never allowed me to get too close."

"even then, i don't have to tell you. you're not stupid, y/n. you know deep down how wrong i am for you. how wrong we are for each other."

you swallow down the tension, completely speechless, and only able to stare at san as he actually starts sounding reasonable... which is what makes it so unsettling.

"actually, i think you probably would like me a lot less if you really got to know me." he scoffs it off with a short laughter and his bittersweet gaze continues lasering into yours.

"i know you're sweet and all that, but i always had the smallest suspicion that there was a deeper, hidden reason for why you wanted to know about me so much."

it's that statement that picks up the immersion even more because you're curious; wonder what the presumption just might be.

"maybe a part of you was secretly hoping that i'm this broken soul who grew up in a shitty environment with shitty parents, and that's why i'm the way i am..."

but again, you have a natural instinct for self defense.

"what? no. i-i never thought--"

"then are you saying you like me for who i am? the douche that screwed you over so many times? because i highly doubt that."

"i never planned on changing you or anything like that!" you cry out, trying the hardest to hold back some tears, beyond frustrated at the assumption being projected onto you, but also at his approach.

he's exceptionally hostile, because not only is he trying to convince you, but also himself.

"good. then i don't have to tell you why whatever this is between me and you will never work."

for a brief moment, your head is in another dimension where time has pulled you back to a discussion your professor and classmates had about what brought them to writing.

for many, literature is in their blood. for others; for you, it is a way to detach from reality and to dream of another; living in your head and escaping... it's not a bad thing if that's what drives you, your professor said.

it's good to always keep a wishful mind that anything is possible in that form.

"but if you need to hear it for yourself; for a peace of mind... you won't like me. it's as simple as that, but i'm sure you already got the memo."

he stops to catch his breath before going on, "i'm not special by any means, and i don't come from some interesting background like you probably think i do. i'm just some prick with well-off parents and enough time to fuck around. it was what drew me and wooyoung to each other initially... because we were both just some stupid rich kids."

"i was only able to get you the job because of all the connections i have, yet i don't work a damn day in my life and am definitely not the one paying the bills for the roof over my head. the trip, everything i ever offered, and anything that came out my pocket, i paid for because i could afford to. that's me. that's who i am. fucking choi san, and all the reasons for why you shouldn't want to be with someone like me."

and you really do dream big, because you want it so bad... for it to possible.

"but it's not like we get to choose who our family are and how we grow--"

"--come on, y/n. have a little more self respect than that. you know what i mean, or do you still need me to say it outright for what it is?"

he's growing short and as selfish as san's always been, he feels he's doing it for your sake for once, fighting to end it as hard as you're fighting for it.

"it's just... so unfair."

so unfair that he made you fall in love only to take it back in the end.

"i-i just feel like you never tried enough. maybe i'm not fond of who you are currently, but i could learn to--"

"please don't make it any more harder than this, y/n. you don't get with someone hoping you can learn to tolerate them... that's not how it works."

it's good to dream of the imposssible once in a while and fill your head up with 'what-ifs', but it's not healthy to get caught up in them. let it consume you and then be disappointed that in the end... san didn't come around for you.

"you're a nice girl, y/n. you really are so sweet, and i can see myself with you someday..." he says with a distraught look you will forever remember given how his words make your heart thump, only to then shoot it down, "but not right now..."

because this reality can be cruel, and no matter how hard you cling, it is sometimes about accepting defeat and moving on.

putting it to perspective, it's funny and ironic how everything turned out. how you used to make such a fuss about not knowing who san is, only for you to find out in the worst way possible.

even more ironic that things between you guys pretty much ended with a screaming match of some sort.

but the one good thing to have come out of it, is that you can confidently say that that was the last time choi san broke your heart.

next // series m.list

taglist: @sorryimananti-romantic @revehosh @cookiechristie @avantalem @atiny68 @sannwa @shibera @mochibabycakes @justineasian @eastleighsblog @baguette-atiny @crimson-mia @yeosxxx @sleepychimm @atz-diary @diorwoo @naiify @becauseiloveyunho @damagelove @softie00 @s-nsanshine @atinytinaa @moonseonghwa @lemontreefantasy @wooyoung4eva @yeosangsbiceps @likexaxdaydream @knucklesdeepmingi @barbielibra @tmtxtf @brown88 @harusoraa @frankenstein852 @yujispinkhair @mermaid17venus @nolxverlikeme @writersun @kkayfan @wooyoungjpg @galaxypox @byunniebaekhyunnie @vixensss @interweab @svintsandghosts

#ateez angst #ateez x reader #san x reader #choi san x reader #san angst #ateez series #fic: broken

[draphrawrites]

Dabihawks Domestic Doofuses Pt 2

Twitter Threads Pt 3 || Prev Next

Originally posted June 3rd, 2021

Keigo wouldn’t actually yeet Dabi’s first aid stuff for his cologne collection, but Dabi seems to have this weird idea that Keigo is vain and self-centered.

So, Keigo plays into it a bit.

“And you need your wings preened daily... why?” Dabi asks, running his warm fingers through Keigo’s feathers in firm, smooth strokes. Keigo’s eyes roll back, but he keeps his voice even despite his chin being smushed into a pillow.

“Commission standards,” he gets out.

“And those standards entail..?” Dabi pries, actually sounding curious.

They’re laid out on the bed with Keigo’s left wing draped like a blanket across Dabi’s lap. The villain is sitting cross-legged, his long fingers combing through Keigo’s wings for the third time this week.

It’s only Monday.

Dabi doesn’t seem to mind. It’s almost like it’s as relaxing to him as it is to Keigo. 

‘Almost’ being the operative word here. Keigo’s bones feel melted and his muscles have unbound from years of clinging to each other in stress-induced desperation.

In short, Keigo’s never been a puddle before, but he’s pretty sure he’s on his way. 

“Pretty for the public,” he eventually replies to Dabi’s query. “That’s the standard. Beat up is acceptable too, but only after a fight. And only if I won the fight.”

Full sentences are getting harder for Keigo the more Dabi warms his hands. Then he notices them getting a bit TOO warm. 

“Dabi?” He asks, peeking over his shoulder to look at the villain. Dabi’s expression is stony. 

“Only pretty or in pain,” he repeats. “That’s fucked up.”

Keigo grimaces. He hadn’t meant for it to sound that way, even if it was true. Mostly he’d wanted an excuse for Dabi to preen him more often because it felt amazing. If Dabi thought it was for pretty privilege reasons, he could bitch about it.

If he thought it was a manipulation or abuse on the Commission’s end, though... that could spell trouble. For both the Commission and Keigo’s daily preening sessions. 

“It’s nothing outside the norm, you know...” he mutters quietly. “Lots of celebrities are required to keep certain standards.”

“Who told you being beat to shit was an acceptable standard?” Dabi growls low in his chest. Keigo can feel the anger practically vibrating through his feathers. Oddly, he feels touched. Dabi getting protective of him is... kinda hot.

New, too. Their arrangement thus far has been moving into scarily domestic territory, wherein affection and teasing are more the norm than aggression and sarcasm. Actual protective instincts though? That’s new. Normal Dabi would tell him ‘you’re the one with a thousand knives strapped to your back. You can handle yourself.’

So, call Keigo a little curious about this new turn of events. He arches an eyebrow at Dabi and contemplates how he wants to answer.

“It’s not like anyone told me it was ‘okay’ or anything,” he says slowly.

“More like I was congratulated for good work by my media relations team after a hard fight. If I was looking less than my best without a fight involved, I’d usually get a politely-worded email reminding me of public perception.”

Dabi absorbs that for a moment, idly stroking Keigo’s feathers. “No looking tired or pissed?” He muses. “I really would’ve made a shitty hero then.”

Keigo’s not sure he was meant to hear that last bit, but he does and it makes him blink.

“I think you would have made a good hero,” he counters, surprised to realize he means it. Dabi looks down at him in disbelief.

“Why the fuck would you think that?” he asks, voice sounding almost strangled. Keigo winces, hoping he hasn’t just poked a nerve.

“You’re passionate about taking down false heroes,” he says delicately. “Unwavering, really. And you fight even when the odds are stacked against you.” Before he can stop himself, he’s sitting up so he can face Dabi - more examples spilling from his lips unchecked.

“You pretend not to care for the League, but they all look to you when their own convictions waver. And they come to you when they need help.” Dabi tries to protest, but Keigo isn’t finished.

“You’re also really good with your quirk, even if it hurts you. Not many people have both power and control while knowing their limits, but I’ve seen you fight. You know exactly how much you can do before you have fall back. I know a lot of heroes who could use a little less ego and a little more sense like that.”

Dabi stares at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging slightly open. Then he forces himself to laugh.

“That ‘control’ was learned the hard way, in case you hadn’t noticed,” he says wryly, gesturing to himself. “Unless they’re giving out awards for not wanting any more fucking burns.”

Keigo tilts his head thoughtfully. “That’s fair. It doesn’t mean that knowing your limits and following them isn’t a rare trait, though.” He shrugs when Dabi looks at him. “Forty-two percent of hero fatalities come from heroes biting off more than they can chew.”

Dabi is quiet for a moment longer before he jerks his chin, indicating Keigo to lay back down. He does, hoping that the surprisingly serious talk hasn’t killed the laid-back mood. But Dabi just resumes stroking through his feathers, smoothing out the vanes as he goes.

The silence stretches for so long, in fact, that Keigo is almost dozing by the time Dabi speaks again.“And how long before you bite off more than you can chew?”

Keigo blinks, heart beating harder inside his chest, not wanting to think about it. Not wanting to acknowledge that he’d already done so when he decided to play house with a villain, knowing it could only end in some kind of betrayal. Either of his career or the guy he bullies into making pancakes for him.

“Well, I’ll just have to trust that you and your common sense will set me straight, I guess,” he says, snuggling deeper into Dabi’s lap. The villain hums in response, his fingers simply playing with Keigo’s feathers now, seemingly lost in thought. 

Keigo lets Dabi drift, his own thoughts returning to how much easier this would be if Dabi were a hero. And how much he meant it when he said Dabi had the potential. It niggles at him. The realization that Dabi could have been in the same boat as Keigo. The standard of ‘pretty or pained’ combined by virtue of his appearance. 

It bothers him, he realizes. To have those standards applied to Dabi. To think of him getting those stupid emails because he looked tired.

Maybe, Keigo thinks, leaning further into Dabi’s warmth. Maybe Dabi’s right.

Maybe it is fucked up.

Twitter Threads Pt 3 || Prev Next

#dabi #hawks #dabihawks #todoroki touya #takami keigo #my fic #fanfic #threads #mha #bnha #domestic fluff

[sirwow]

LOGHAIL WAR !! a short fic about these two's fight in my au under the cut to complement this art

A soft snowfall paints piles of rubbish in a coat of frost. The crackling of Hailey and Logan’s footsteps in the snow is occasionally broken up by the crinkling of metal. Logan carefully tipped toed behind Hailey’s march- this scrapyard had to have been abandoned for years at this point. It was uneasy. Logan clutched the baseball he was tossing between his hands. Hailey had an iron grip on her bat since they arrived. Logan’s nerves were only worsened from the sight.

“..H-Hailey I think we should turn back.. I don’t know what you want here but I’m sure w-we could figure something else-“

Hailey cut Logan’s worry short with a glare. “No. We’re almost there anyways. Stop being such a baby for once will you?” 

Her words stung more than the cold wind. Logan’s clutch on his baseball shifted from nervous fidgeting to a stone cold grip. They continued on until coming to an opening, marked by a looming broken down crane. Logan stopped in the center as Hailey drifted toward a junk pile. He tried to speak in some vain but his tongue caught itself, unwilling to comfort further. Rather Logan just watched in morbid curiosity at what Hailey was planning.

Shatter. 

It was so fast Logan barely processed what Hailey was doing. She raised her bat again- and right back into the door of a totaled car. No voice nor grunt could be discerned from her pummeling. A ruthless beating with unreadable reasons. It’s not like anyone would care but.. Logan’s nerves told him this was horribly wrong. 

A snag by the arm was enough to pull Hailey from her outlash, Logan pulling back till they were having a tug of war over the bat.

“Hailey what the heck has gotten into you?!” 

Hailey attempted to throw Logan off the bat “Why do you need to know? Just let me have this moment!”

Logan’s remaining sympathy evaporated. Using his full force, Logan ripped the bat easily from her hands and threw it aside her feet. Hailey stared him down but the wimpy doormat of a boy inside Logan was gone.

“Why do I need to know? Oh I don’t know? I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND?? How the hell am I supposed to help you when you take your emotions out like- like-“ Logan grabs his baseball from his pocket, pitching it directly into a old TV screen. The shatter startled Hailey for a moment but the insult was fast to leave it’s mark.

Hailey lifted her bat from the ground. “Maybe because you’d just try to “fix” all my issues only to make them worse, like getting us in the hospital in the first place!” Hailey turned and bludgeoned at a pot.

“I wasn’t fixing anything! I was confused why you didn’t just say you had feelings too- I-I thought you just tolerated me leaving me in a ditch for so long!”

“Sorry I have trust issues. I could and would have never taken you if you couldn’t stop being a coward for 5 minutes! But I guess I clearly should have had higher standards.”

Logan still faced away from Hailey. Tense silence danced with the snow and his hands shook. 

“You should have had higher standards? I should’ve with how you’re FUCKING TREATING ME! Ooh I’m SO sorry that I dared to WORRY about you when you left on a train with barely any notice!” Logan snarled through a childish gesture- smashing small glasses near him.

“Oh get a spine. 5 days. I WAS GONE FOR 5 DAYS! Nicole told me all you talked about was “Oh.. where’s Hailey.. oh woe is me..” Get a GRIP.”

“Get a grip- says the one who couldn’t handle talking about having a problem at home to me for 2 years-“

Hailey throws her bat into the garbage pile with a violent shriek of metal returning. She and Logan both turn to face each other, boiling enough to melt the snow that was picking up.

“You pampered piece of shit. Get out of my face.”

Hailey pointed Logan to the direction of the exit after getting in his face. 

“No.” 

Hailey backed off both in awe and disbelief that Logan was doing this. She gritted her teeth and screamed red in the face.

“..hhhhhHHH- I FUCKING HATE YOU!”

“WELL MAYBE I HATE YOU TOO!” Logan screamed back.

Then nothing. 

They saw each other for who they were again, faces both hurt and broken. They quietly collapsed to the ground and sat back to back sobbing. The wind played a twisted melody through old pipes and cracked glass. It remained so for what felt like eternity.

Logan regained his composure first. “H-Hailey.. I-I didn’t mean all that, I-“

“L-Logan please. Please don’t apologize. I-I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry.”

Logan shifted to sit in front of Hailey and cupped her tears with his hand. “Hailey I- I said that about your home- I don’t deserve anything after that- I never should have said a thing, I’m so sorry..”

Hailey held Logan back. “Logan, did you forget what I said? I deserve it..”

“W-what?? Don’t say that! What you said about me was true!”

“But you were being honest too!- I.. haha.. I don’t have the energy to argue this.. just- come here.”

Hailey pulled Logan in for a tight hug, laughing and crying over the situation. Logan was still lost in confusion but returned the favor as his tears returned. Their hearts raced together and slowed as they swayed back and forth holding each other. Their eyes closed, they simply let things be for a moment of respite.

Hailey eventually lightly pushed on Logan’s shoulders and he took the que to back off. She whipped her remaining tears and laughed a bit to herself. 

“..Thank you, Logan. I’m not sure what would’ve happened to me if you didn’t do something. Probably would have only gotten worse.”

Logan softly smiled while scratching his weary eyes. “Of course.. haha.. I don’t think I’ve ever done something like that in my life before.”

“Well keep it up for me will you?” Hailey cupped his face with both her hands.

“I promise I’ll try my best.”

“That’s perfect.”

Hailey kissed Logan on the nose. His face was redder then when he had screamed but he giggled and dove in for a cheek kiss before Hailey could get away. Both giggled flushed on the ground before Hailey got up and helped Logan up as well.

Grabbing their things, they left with a spark- burnt in the heart but reignited in the ashes.

#rhythm doctor #rhythm doctor hailey #rhythm doctor logan #loghail #rd connections converged #iv had this for a good min iv just forgot to post it till i drew angry hailey

[kbrick]

Peak Drarry: Celebrating Incredible Writers - lettersbyelise

Peak Drarry is a series of posts celebrating the absolute treasure trove of talented writers in this fandom, and a reminder of how lucky we are to have them here with us. Find last month’s post featuring @aibidil​ here. This month features a fan-and-personal-favorite, @lettersbyelise​.

✨lettersbyelise✨

I was introduced to Elise’s writing when they returned to the fandom in late 2021 after a little haitus. Being fairly new to Drarry at the time, I had not yet heard of Elise, though plenty of other readers were chomping at the bit to get their hands on Elise’s new work. I kept hearing good things, so I figured I’d check it out—and immediately fell in love after reading Burn the Witch. The fic was poignant, exciting, and, above all, full of dreamy, delicious romance. So, why should you read Elise’s fic? Here are a few reasons:

The ungodly levels of UST

Elise’s Harry and Draco are fully in lust from the first, even if they still despise each other. In Unfold Me, Harry hates his roommate Malfoy so much that he can’t stop thinking about him or the smell of his laundry detergent. And then, when Malfoy accidentally includes his own t-shirt in Harry’s clean laundry pile, Harry has had enough. He sleeps with Malfoy’s t-shirt under his pillow (and does other, unspeakable things while sniffing it) as retribution. In Cabin Fever, Harry doesn’t like Malfoy or anything, but he can’t help but notice when a sudden gust of wind “whipped through Malfoy’s burgundy, standard-issue Auror cloak and exposed his shapely posterior for Harry to admire.” Okay, and fine, he’s also noticed the way Malfoy laughs, how he strides “through the Auror department corridors like a young prince perusing his future kingdom” (Harry’s words, not mine), and sometimes runs a hand through his “short, stylish, impossibly blond hair.” But don’t worry! Malfoy’s also lusting over Harry, a fact that he accidentally lets slip when he calls Harry ‘pretty’ out of nowhere (which obviously makes Harry lose his damn mind).

Sometimes Harry and Draco’s lust is very inconvenient, like in Draco Malfoy’s Stupendous Seduction Seminar, when Draco recalls a time Potter was pressed against him in the lifts and afterward, Draco had to “walk around with a manila folder held in front of his crotch for a good fifteen minutes.” Poor Draco. Sometimes, Harry is so hot that Draco’s body can’t handle it, like in Burn the Witch, when Draco sees Harry for the first time in years and his heart skips a beat. Literally, “[s]kipped a fucking beat, like in a cheap romance novel.”

Thankfully, Harry’s usually in the same boat. He’s cursed with having a sort of sixth sense when it comes to Malfoy. He can “walk into a room and know Malfoy is there before he even sets eyes on him.” (Draco Malfoy’s Stupendous Seduction Seminar). The back of his neck prickles whenever Malfoy’s around, okay? It’s not his fault. Malfoy only encourages it, doing things like wearing body-con leggings during a play (Upstaged) so that Harry is basically forced to go and see him perform a bagillion times in a row.

Further complicating matters, Elise’s Harry has typically been thinking about Malfoy for a very long time, in very R-rated ways, like in Laws of Gravity, wherein he muses over the fact that Malfoy kneeling in front of him in a cloakroom is “every fantasy Harry has ever blocked coming to life with an incandescent lack of warning.” Oh, generic gay fantasies, you ask? Hardly. We’re talking Malfoy-specific fantasies that involve “the version Harry’s always kept in the back of his mind, all these years—a hungry, debauched version…” Mm hm. This lust has been brewing for ages.

Occasionally, Elise likes to throw in they-almost-go-there-but-stop-themselves moments that make the UST levels fly off the charts altogether. I literally wrote in my notes on Had To Be You, “oh my god! No!! No! Just have sex! Oh my godddd!!!” (look what you’ve reduced me to, Elise). But Harry and Draco did not have sex at that time. Instead, they proceeded to eat dinner together, sporting what I can only imagine were horrendously painful blue balls. Don’t worry, though—it’s worth the wait when it happens.

Because, listen, if you’re sitting there thinking that all this UST buildup must lead to some scorching hot smut, then you are one hundred percent right. I’m not going to spoil these sexy, delicious, smutty scenes for you here by telling you too much about them, but as a preview, here’s Harry narrating in Had to Be You:

Harry’s heart keeps wanting to escape his ribcage, or at least burst it open, it’s beating so loud. He’s never felt anything like this — this anticipation, like the second before a kiss, only drawn up for minutes, for hours, for bloody months, if Harry’s perfectly honest with himself. There hasn’t been anyone else than Draco for months, maybe years...[T]he back of Draco’s hand brushes his, soft and warm and secret, and Harry nearly gasps, because just that tiny touch of Draco’s is the most erotic thing he’s experienced.

A brush of Draco’s hand does that, ladies and gentlemen. So, yeah, the smut is good.

All that sweet, sweet pining

Listen, I’m not going to say that Elise enjoys torturing readers—I can’t see into their mind! But if I had to guess, I’d say maybe they enjoy it a little? Because Harry and Draco pine so hard in Elise’s fic. Oh, sure, they’ll eventually come to experience a life-changing, soul-filling love for the ages, but first they are going to suffer. If you are anything like me, though, you’ll eat it up because it’s beautiful in its own right, and because it makes the payoff so, so sweet. But first, the pain.

Sometimes jealousy is involved, like in Had to Be You. For years, Draco and Harry watch each other date around and absolutely hate it. This results in various degrees of tantrum-throwing. When Harry makes out with Draco’s friend at a music festival, Harry notes that Draco is in a black mood the next day, and that it has “nothing to do with the weather.” Draco stops talking to Harry for a month after that. A month! When Draco sets off on an Italian holiday with a boyfriend, Harry stomps around until he gets a text from Draco that says Draco misses him (yes, Draco’s texting Harry that he misses him while on a holiday with his boyfriend, and no, neither one of them realizes what this means at this point).

Other times, there is no one else in the picture, and yet our dear boys still pine. They yearn for the thing they think they cannot have (even though they definitely, definitely can have it). In Laws of Gravity, Harry is completely obsessed with Malfoy from the start, although he’s sure it won’t work out because Malfoy’s a pickpocket, and also because he’s Malfoy. Harry thinks maybe the feelings will fade? Fat chance, when he readily admits that his life is “bisected into before and after Malfoy’s mind-boggling blowjob.” Harry. Buddy. You’ve divided your entire life (which included a starring role in a war, mind) into pre-blowjob and post-blowjob. I’m pretty sure your feelings are here to stay.

And the reality is, sex is never enough for these two. Nothing short of lifelong love and devotion is ever enough. After Malfoy keeps putting out for Harry in Laws of Gravity, Harry tells him he’s sending mixed signals. Malfoy points out that he’s given Harry not one, but two blowjobs at this point, and he very clearly wants him. Harry argues that it’s “not the same as liking someone.” Because see, Harry and Draco want everything from each other in Elise’s fic. Not just blowjobs, not just friendship, not just casual dating. They want everything.

They’ll make you believe in true love

Which brings me to my final point. Elise’s stories are about the most unabashedly romantic things I’ve ever read. In their first fic on AO3, Had To Be You, Elise notes that it’s inspired by When Harry Met Sally, a film they admit to having watched ‘a hundred’ times. This is not surprising to me. Because if you love When Harry Met Sally, you are someone who loves love, who has a tender center and a soft heart. And after going through Elise’s fics one by one, let me tell you: Elise loves love. Elise loves romance. And this comes through in all their stories, which are, at their core, tender and beautiful depictions of true love.

In Elise’s fic-universe, Harry and Draco were always meant to be, and literally everyone around them knows it. In Had To Be You, Hermione has a heart to heart with Harry in which she makes him acknowledge his feelings for Draco. “I’ve seen how you’ve been practically drooling over Draco for months now,” she says. “And you’ve been obsessed with him…for years. It was the weird thing you had for him in Sixth Year, and now it’s this very intense friendship.” Harry argues with her about the intense friendship, but eventually has to concede the point. In The Generation Who Lived, Neville and Luna scheme to get Harry and Draco alone in their house so that they’ll reconcile (again, because everyone knows they’re meant to be). My favorite fic in this vein is Re: Harry’s Crush, wherein the entire Ministry is emailing back and forth about how obsessed Harry and Draco are with each other. It’s common knowledge. Everyone else can see it, it just sometimes takes Harry and Draco a while to catch on.

But Harry and Draco do know, deep down, even when they don’t admit it at first. It comes out in flashes, like when they have sex for the first time in Had To Be You and Harry notes that “the connection was something [he’d] never felt, not with any of the many lovers he’d had in the past, and it left him feeling raw, exposed and shy, despite the deep pleasure coursing through his veins.” Or in Paper Rings, when Draco reminisces about his Eighth-Year fling with Harry and how he knew, even at the time, that it had been both “inevitable” and that he would never recover from it, emotionally. Or in Laws Of Gravity, when Harry realizes he doesn’t want Malfoy to go, even though he doesn’t know what that means. (It means you love him, Harry!).

One of the things I adore about Elise’s fic is that there is always this fantastic, pivotal moment when things click. It’s the moment when our guarded main characters let their walls fall, let themselves see what everyone else has known for so long. And then this thing—this love—that has felt so impossible suddenly seems easy. There’s a surety that comes flooding in, a recognition that yes, this is the person for me, and yes, they want me too. It’s even said tongue-in-cheek (although we know it’s hilariously real) in Kill, Fuck, Marry when the boys wake up after their first night together. They’d been playing the titular ‘marry, fuck, kill’ the night before, and Draco says, well, you’ve already tried to kill me and you’ve already fucked me, so “[t]he only thing left to do is marry me, I suppose.” Does this scare Harry off? Not at all. “You’ve already got more birthday presents than you deserved Malfoy,” Harry says. “This one will have to wait until next year. If you’re good.” One date and shag, and they’re already joking about getting married. God help us.

But lest you think this is some sort of shallow insta-love, it’s not. Elise, particularly in their long fic, depicts a love of equals, of two men who root for one another and stand up for one another, who have each other’s backs. It’s lovely, the way they see one another so clearly, the way they advocate for one another. Whether it’s Harry in Burn the Witch fighting against a Ministry that’s unfairly targeted Draco, or Draco in Paper Rings advocating for Harry in Harry’s divorce, these are two people who admire and respect each other. It's evident in Harry’s thoughts about how brave Draco is regarding his sexuality in Draco Malfoy’s Stupendous Seduction Seminar. Or, beautifully, in Draco’s thoughts in Paper Rings, when he contemplates that “Harry had spent so many years not being appreciated for who he was…not being loved.” He wonders how “blind Ginevra Weasley must have been not to see how good [Harry was]…how utterly perfect in every one of his complicated ways.” They know that the other is not actually perfect (after all, they, more than anyone, are familiar with the other’s faults), but they love them just the same. In Fire Meet Gasoline, Draco spells out his shortcomings to Harry—all of them—and Harry just says, “Do you think that frightens me? ‘Cause it doesn’t. I told you already. I want everything you are.”

Incidentally, after that gorgeous bit of dialogue from Fire Meet Gasoline, Harry asks Draco to stay with him. Draco thinks about how he doesn’t do love, but Potter was the exception (sort of like how Harry muses that he’s “Draco-sexual” in Paper Rings). Then he says, “I couldn’t leave you if I tried…I’m afraid you’re stuck with me now, Potter.” Cue the violins. Le sigh.

Ahhh, Drarry in its best and most natural state. Soulmates, each other’s one and only, together forever and ever, amen.

And one of my favorite things about Elise: they will get you there every time, no matter how improbable it seems at the start.

You can count on it.

Recommended For…

Lovers of love. Connoisseurs of quality, emotional smut. Anyone who wants to get swept up in an epic sort of romance, who believes that romantic partners should lift you up and bring out the best in you. People who believe in soulmates. Those who believe (or want to believe) in happily ever after. Here are a few you might want to check out, but honestly, you can’t go wrong with anything Elise has written.

Top 3 Fics Over 25,000 Words (by kudos)

Burn The Witch (E, 96k) - When Harry Potter is sent in to investigate Draco Malfoy’s successful potions company, posing as Draco’s bodyguard, he doesn’t know the case will launch a series of events that will change his life — and Draco’s. A story about choices, scars, Chopin piano pieces, and finding all kinds of love in the most unexpected places.

Had To Be You (E, 59k) - Draco Malfoy is possibly the last person Harry expects to find at the wheel of a Muggle car, on a beautiful summer day on the road to London. This is the story of how Harry runs into Draco once, twice, three times, and how he doesn’t leave their next meeting to chance. A fic inspired by When Harry Met Sally.

Paper Rings (E, 50k) –  When Harry’s in need of a divorce lawyer, he has no choice but to turn to the best in the trade. Draco Malfoy’s reputation for discretion is flawless, and his track record for winning cases is close to perfect. But he’s also ruthless, passionate, and as infuriating as ever, and the brief relationship he and Harry had in Eighth Year still feels painfully fresh despite two decades spent apart.

Top 3 Fics Under 25,000 Words (by kudos)

Kill, Fuck, Marry (E, 4k) -  Harry and Draco unexpectedly meet again on Draco’s birthday, years after their last encounter.

Draco Malfoy’s Stupendous Seduction Seminar (E, 2.7k) - Draco Malfoy offers to help his coworkers to improve their seduction techniques, with unexpected consequences.

Re: Harry’s Crush (T, 1.9k) -  Ever get that feeling you're being talked about behind your back? Harry doesn't, he's too busy being stupidly, obviously besotted with the guy in the lab downstairs. A fic where the interdepartment betting war at the Ministry gets out of hand, Millicent and Hermione get scheming, Harry Potter ends up wearing black eyeliner, and everybody ends up getting more than they bargained for.

Kbrick’s Picks (in order of obsession)

Paper Rings (E, 50k) –  When Harry’s in need of a divorce lawyer, he has no choice but to turn to the best in the trade. Draco Malfoy’s reputation for discretion is flawless, and his track record for winning cases is close to perfect. But he’s also ruthless, passionate, and as infuriating as ever, and the brief relationship he and Harry had in Eighth Year still feels painfully fresh despite two decades spent apart.

The Laws of Gravity (E, 31k) - When he runs into Draco Malfoy picking pockets at a charity gala, Harry Potter is forced to face the desires he’s avoided for years — at the risk of shattering the public image he’s so carefully curated since the war.

Fire Meet Gasoline (E, 63k) -  When Draco’s anger management issues land him in St Mungo’s, he thinks his Quidditch career is over. But Harry, A&E Healer and notorious workaholic, is faced with a similar predicament. To save their jobs, the two of them decide to fake a relationship. All they have to do is convince their friends and employers… and not fall in love in the process. Simple, right?

#drarry #peak drarry #kbrick recs #lettersbyelise #fic recs

[sacredjake]

Peanut Butter Blossom

pairing: Sam Kiszka x Rhi

word count: 2.8k

warnings: none! pure fluff, some cussing

merry (late) christmas @lightsofthe-living-gvf!!!! i’m your secret santa! i wanna apologize for being late, this christmas has been crazy! i’ve enjoyed getting to know you and talking about some of our favorite shared interests!!! i hope you like it! i hope you had a wonderful holiday, merry christmas rhi <3333

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There was a loud ding from the oven signaling that the cookies you had put in were finally done. You turned the oven off and grabbed the oven mit from the counter before opening the door and taking the sweet smelling treat out. You set them on the stovetop to allow them to cool for a moment and grabbed the cooling racks out of the nearest cabinet. One by one you transferred each cookie from the baking sheet onto the cooling rack. 

When each cookie was moved to the elevated rack you decided to check on the chicken and dumpling soup you had made. The dish was basically done, just requiring a gentle stir every now and then until it was time to be served. Thankfully the crockpot you made it in would keep the contents nice and warm while you made the short drive to your best friend’s house. 

Tonight was the annual friendsmas that you and your friends put together. Each person would bring a dish for a sort of potluck style dinner along with a gift for the game White Elephant. You had the honor of bringing the main dish this year- as volunteered by your friends. You had hosted the party the previous year and made the same chicken and dumpling recipe and everyone had insisted that you make it again this year. The dish was one of your favorites to make so you didn’t mind in the slightest, and were actually excited that they had loved it so much. 

You had been looking forward to this event since your best friends had left on tour. You were also extremely nervous to see one friend in particular. Sam had been your best friend for a few years, and you had always had a crush on him. The two of you hadn’t seen each other in almost four months and you couldn’t calm the butterflies in your stomach. 

Without needing much more to do to get ready, once the cookies were cooled and you were finally dressed, you loaded up your contributions to the party in your car. Snow crunched underneath your feet as you made your way around to your driver’s door. You were just glad it wasn’t actively snowing. 

A few minutes later you were pulling into your best friend’s driveway right behind a white jeep truck you could only assume was Josh’s. With slightly shaky hands, you began unloading the items you had brought, having much more difficulty getting them out than you did putting them in. For whatever reason, most likely the nerves from seeing Sammy again, you couldn’t remember how exactly you had carried everything out to your car, and there was no way you were going to be able to carry it all. Just when you were about to give up and make another trip outside in the cold, a voice rang out. 

“I can’t believe Josh beat yo- Rhi, why didn’t you just text me and ask for help!” Sam scolded you playfully, his long arm reaching over the car door easily and plucking the gift and bag of cookies from your hands. 

“I was doing just fine, thank you.” You lied cooling and prayed that your hands would stop shaking. With one hand free you were finally able to grasp the handles of your crockpot with ease. 

“Yeah because dropping the ginormous crockpot full of delicious chicken and dumplings is ‘doing just fine’.” He snickered.

Everything about Sam made your heart flutter, even his jokes and antics. 

“It was gonna work, I wasn’t gonna drop anything.” 

You followed behind him after shutting the car door with your foot, and walked up the walkway. No matter how many times you walked into Sam’s house it was always inviting. Although  it had little to do with the actual space itself. You knew it didn’t matter where Sam lived, anywhere he existed was home to you. 

Shortly after entering through the front door there were excited exclamations to be heard about your arrival. Josh, of course, was the loudest and first to be heard.  

“Rhi!” He nearly pushed his younger brother to the ground trying to reach you for a hug. Not even waiting for the reciprocation of the hug, his arms wrapped around you tightly. 

“Hi Josh.” You barely breathe out and pat his shoulder. He was squeezing you so tightly you weren’t sure how long you could go without air. 

“Jesus, Josh, loosen up, we haven’t seen her in almost four months and you’re gonna kill her.” Jake half teased his twin, and Josh’s hold on you loosened quickly. 

“Shit sorry, mama. I’ve just missed you so much!” 

“I missed you too, Josh.” You couldn’t help but giggle at his slightly overexcited state. 

Soon Josh was pushed away by his twin so he could steal a hug from you. While Sam and Danny were your best friends, you had gotten close with the twins after all the years. It was kind of hard not to when they were always around. 

“So glad to see you, Rhi. Hope you’re doing well.” Jake’s hug was a lot faster, and less forceful than Josh’s. You told him how happy you were to see everyone and how proud of them you were. 

“Hey now,” You could recognize the next man’s voice anywhere, even if you couldn’t see him, “Where’s my hug?” 

“Oh I’m sorry, were you expecting one?” There was only playful teasing laced in your voice. He knew it too. 

“My hugs are the only ones that matter.” 

“Well someone thinks awfully big of himself.” 

You were staring up at him with a large smile on your face, completely unable to keep it from showing. He mirrored your expression, his lips turned up in a crooked smile. Neither of you wanted to be the first to crack, but Danny always gave into you. The small crack of his smile grew into a wide grin followed by a playful roll of his eyes. 

“Just give me a hug, dammit! I’ve missed you!” 

Danny pulled you into him without a single protest from you. He wasn’t wrong though, his hugs were the only ones that mattered. Aside from Sammy’s, but that’s only because you were hopelessly in love with Sam. 

He squeezed you firmly and rocked you both from side to side before letting go. Danny couldn’t completely let you go though. He held the top of your arms and gazed down at you happily. 

“I’ve missed you so much, bug. You really gotta come join us for a show soon.” 

“I will, Danny. Soon.” 

“Good.” He pulled you in for one last quick hug as Sam entered back into the space. One again you could feel your heart rate pick up just from him being in the same room as you. 

“Alright everyone, all the food has been set up, so let’s make our plates and dig in! The faster we eat, the sooner we get to open gifts!” 

—————————————————

“Guys I can not make chicken and dumplings again next year! Three years in a row is enough!” 

“Aw c’mon, Rhi! Please!” Josh begged from across the table. Everyone else agreed. 

Dinner had been long consumed and everyone was still sitting at the dining table with their empty plates and bowls in front of them. Throughout the meal you couldn’t help the way your eyes naturally, and constantly drifted to Sam. You were glad Sam liked to talk a lot because it meant you had more of a reason to steal glances at him. There was much to catch up on between the boys and their band, their partners lives and your studies. Between eating and talking you hadn’t even gotten to the desert yet. 

“No, no. I think next year Jake should make the main dish!” 

“I resent being nominated, but I’ll do it.” 

You stood from your seat and waved him off before disappearing into the next room where all the deserts had been left. 

“Besides,” You walked back into the kitchen and shook the bag of cookies, “I brought cookies for everyone!” 

“Oh fuck yes! You make the best cookies!” Sam shook his fist excitedly from his seat. There were other rounds of praise coming from the rest of your friends as you handed them out. 

“I did it a little differently this year. Instead of making everyone the same cookie, I gifted you cookies that I think fit you. Hopefully you enjoy them… And of course you each have one chocolate chip cookie.” 

“So who got what?” Danny asked to your right. 

“Josh, I made you some classic, but fun christmas sugar cookies. Jake, you got the gingerbread cookie. Danny, those are chocolate crinkle cookies, and Sammy I made the peanut butter blossom cookies for you!” 

“Peanut butter blossom?! Fuck yes! All your cookies can suck it! Mine are superior!” Sam pointed to his brothers in some sort of self-proclaimed victory before digging into the bag of treats.

Danny cleared his throat next to you earning the attention from you and everyone else. “No way, Samuel, clearly the chocolate crinkle cookies are the best cookies. That’s why she made them for me.” He was nonchalant in his boasting unlike the youngest brother.

“Guys-“ 

“Mine are a classic, which obviously makes them the best cookie ever. Everyone loves a classic.”

“Um guys-“ You tried to put an end to their ridiculous game of ‘my cookie insinuates I’m better’, but none of them would let you get a word in.

“Well I hate to break it to you, but actually I have the best cookies. Gingerbread is a fan favorite. Just like me.” Jake added in his two sense, smug smile and all as he broke the cookie in half and took a bite.

“Oh I am never making you guys personalized cookies ever again.” 

——————————————

After the cookie debacle, which lasted for about a half hour before you decided to just leave the room altogether, everyone headed into Sam’s living room for White Elephant. You ended up with the beautiful leather bound journal and some nice pens that Josh had brought, and Danny got the soft, green queen size blanket that you had brought. He currently had it wrapped around his body laying on Sam’s couch snoozing next to you while you and Sam caught up. Jake and Josh had left an hour ago leaving the three of you to hang out, but Danny knocked out shortly after.

“Rhi, seriously, you’re gonna have to teach me how to make these cookies! They’re amazing!” Sam popped another peanut butter blossom into his mouth while he looked at you happily. You thought you could melt right there under his elated gaze. 

“Well, I could show you how to make them right now if you have all the ingredients?” 

“Right now?” 

You nodded your head eagerly in response. 

“Hell yes! Tell me what we need.”

After all the ingredients were gathered and laid out on the countertop, you showed Sam how to make the cookies. He followed along intently, and executed every instruction that you gave him. You could tell he was really trying his best to be serious. When the oven was up to temperature you let him stick the baking tray onto the rack and set the timer.

“Now while we wait we can clean up our mess.” You picked up the leftover ingredients and began putting them back where they belonged. By the time you were ready to clean up the bowl you used to mix everything together, Sam had almost licked it clean.

“Sammy we’re supposed to be cleaning up this mess, not eating!” You playfully scolded him.

“Mess? I don’t see a mess.” He pretended to look around the kitchen until his eyes settled on you in a mischievous way. “Oh no, you’re right. There is a huge mess to clean up.” 

You knew immediately what he was planning on doing and tried your best to back away in time, but he caught you by the wrist. 

“Sam, I swear to god, don’t you dare even think abou-” Before you could get the rest of your sentence out, Sam had smeared cookie batter on your cheek. Not like a small amount either. No this was more like a handful of raw cookie dough straight to the face. 

“Oh you’re gonna pay for that.” 

He was so busy stuffing his face earlier that he didn’t know you were about to put away the flour before he started this. You reached behind you blindly and grabbed a fistful of flour in your hand. Particles of flour flew around as you sprinkled the powder on top of his head. 

“Rhi- Oh sweet Rhi, you have made a grave mistake my dear.” The corner of his mouth twitched upwards into a smirk. 

You didn’t understand what he was so smug about. Almost everything had already been put away and there wasn’t much that he could attack you with at this point. 

But then it hit you. 

You hadn’t put away the eggs yet. 

In the same moment that you made the connection, Sam had slapped an egg on top of your head. You could feel the liquid yolk and white of the egg run down your scalp. It started to drip onto your face when the shock wore off. Not giving him a chance to react, you turned around quickly and grabbed two eggs and smashed them both on Sam’s hair. It was you who was smiling full of cockiness at the sight of your best friend’s face. 

Sam reached a long arm behind you and grabbed his own handful of flour. You took the opportunity to reach into the mixing bowl for cookie dough. Sam tossed the flour directly at your mouth, aiming for your neck, and busted out laughing. 

“Ow! Shit!” You dropped the cookie batter and instead cupped your hand to your eye. 

Sam stopped laughing almost immediately and turned his worried attention on you. 

“Oh shit, Rhi, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean for it to get in your eye.” His large hands cradled your face as he tried to get a look at your eye. “Hey can you try and open it for me? God I’m so sorry.”  

After a moment you were able to open your eye. It still stung, and it was watering pretty good, but the pain was subsiding. You knew the white of your eye had to be bright red though. 

“You got me good, Samuel.” You teased even though he still looked worried as ever. He was a lot closer than you thought, his hands still on both your cheeks. “Is it worse than that time I gave you pink eye?”  

The look of worry left his face and a small smile cracked across his mouth. 

“Always trying to crack a joke.” He huffed a laugh in disbelief and shook his head. “One of the many reasons I fell for you.” 

You felt as though your heart stopped beating. There was no way you heard him right, surely he meant something else? Except the look on his face told you he hadn’t meant to say that at all. 

“Did you just say why you fell for me?” 

He looked completely frantic, yet he wasn’t moving at all. Standing like a deer caught in headlights while his mind resembled a squirrel sprinting across the street trying to dodge cars. He stammered a few times before actually speaking again. 

“No I-“ 

“Yes you did. I- I know that’s what I heard come out of your mouth… You- You’re in love with me?” There was no look on your face giving away your true feelings. The tone of your voice wasn’t helpful either. Disbelief was the only emotion you were showing. 

The gears turning in Sam’s mind were practically visible to you. He was debating on keeping this going or just finally admitting the truth. He took a deep sigh and squeezed his eyes shut, answering on the exhale. 

“I am-“ He took another breath trying to slow his racing heart “So in love with you, Rhi. You have no clue just how much I really love you.” When he opened his eyes you could see how much he meant it. 

“Sammy… I-“ 

“You don’t feel the same, I know…” 

“No you big dummy,” You chuckled slightly and grabbed his hands, “I’m in love with you too, Sammy. I have been for some time.” 

“Really?” He almost seemed confused. 

“Yes!” 

Sam dropped your hands and wrapped his arms around your back lifting you in the air quickly. He spun you around before setting you back to the ground, beaming at you the entire time. The second his arms detangled themselves from you he pulled you into him, his lips meeting yours in a sweet, smiley kiss. Neither of you minded that you were still completely covered in food, you could barely register that his lips were pressed against yours. 

“Best. Friendsmas. Ever. I love you so much!” He spoke happily against your lips between kisses. 

“I love you too, Sammy.” 

—————————————————————————

taglist: @gold-mines-melting @indigofallingsky @sunandthemoontwinflames @ageofhearingloss @lipstickitty @hellowgoodbye @demolitionndann @brujamagik @wildbluesorbit @jjwasneverhere @stardustjake @sanguinebats @sinarainbows @jordie-gvf-admin @malany-gvf @dannyandthekiszkas @popejosh4ever @gretasimp @sacredthefran @writingcold @thecoldwind @reesetrippingthelight @starcatcher-jake @musicspeaks @joshskittytickler @for-ur-love @carbondancingthroughtime @violet-hayes

add yourself to my taglist! X

#gvf secret santa #☃️ #gvf secret santa ‘23 #sam kiszka fluff #sam kiszka #sammy kiszka #sfk #my fics #christmas fic #sam kiszka friends to lovers #gvf

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

The day that Prince Steven Harrington turns twenty is the first sunny spring day after a seemingly endless spell of heavy rain that left the castle grounds drowning in mud and its inhabitants freezing and miserable in the inescapable dampness of everything.

But that is not why he will remember it so vividly for the rest of his life.

It is also the day that his father, King Richard, chooses to ride off into war with great fanfare, to strengthen the glory of Hawkins and expand its wealth and territory.

But this also isn’t why the day will be forever ingrained in his memory.

No, the actual reason Steve knows that he will not forget his twentieth birthday until the moment his heart stops beating and his eyes close forever is an entirely different one.

It is the day he finds the dragon.

I wrote these lines exactly one year ago today, very naively thinking it would be the start of a moderately short fic that I just needed to get out of my system.

That was the first time this story defied all my wildest expectations. 😅

I posted the first chapter on January 16th, then went to bed. When I got up the next morning, my AO3, discord and tumblr were on fire. 😳 It began to dawn on me then that this fic would be something bigger.

It turned out to be an almost 100k long beast. It took me seven months to finish. I still daydream about it. It has made rec lists. It has fanart. It has kindled the most precious of fandom friendships for me. It is everything I dreamed of and more when I imagined posting my own fics and was too shy to do so.

I'm a bit in my feels about it today. 🥹

Thanks to you all for your love and support and happy birthday to Hic sunt dracones. 🐉❤️

#steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie brainrot #steddie fanfic #fanfiction writer #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #hic sunt dracones

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Hello again!! Tomorrow is my birthday 🙈 so I just wanted one more self indulgent request!!

Could I please request phantom fam (plus snake) x maid reader, who is the newest addition but has been a great addition to both the staff and the weird little family so they are all secretly throwing a lil surprise party? Like the whole ‘avoiding said person and giving weird awkward short answers’ to keep the party a secret? Then of coarse the reveal and cute cake?!?

Many thanks to you 🥰

I'm sorry I didn't get this out for your birthday this year, but I hope you had a good one!!

also AAAAAAAAAAA <3

When SNAKE scurries away from you with little provocation, you don’t really think much of it.

After all, the poor man is still adjusting to life here in the manor. (Similarly to you. If you’re remembering correctly, he arrived just a few weeks before you did.) Not only that, he seems quite skittish in general, so it’s no big surprise that he’s shying away from social interaction. As welcoming as you try to be, there’s only so far that can go toward someone who’s naturally anxious.

However, when FINNY makes an excuse as to why he can’t spare a moment to chat today, you find it odd. After all, that man is as sunshine as they come! He always has a minute to talk to you, to make jokes, maybe even give you a little hug. He’s never beat feet from you no matter how busy things are.

And SEBASTIAN and BARD have been acting strangely too, seemingly in tandem; Bard all but shoos you away from the kitchen, telling you Sebastian will bring you something to eat and a glass of water. Certainly, you can understand that Bard says he’s trying to concentrate on a complicated dish and so can’t have anyone else in the kitchen… it’s just odd that he’s suddenly so focused.

Sebastian is a strange case. He’s not one who engages in too much idle chitchat, so you can believe that he doesn’t want you distracting Bard. Still, something about it strikes you as very strange.

Then there’s MEY RIN, who nearly falls down a flight of stairs in an attempt to run off in the opposite direction when she sees you coming. Even when you try to hurry over to make sure she’s alright, she yells that she’s fine and she needs you to go remake the master’s bed because she mussed it up.

Honestly, your young master might be the worst. CIEL is a bit cold to most people, but today it’s as if he barely has a word for you. He keeps giving you short, clipped orders, without so much as glancing at you.

You like to think of yourself as a resilient person. Today, though… it feels almost as if the entire household wants nothing to do with you. That stings, especially today.

You’re sitting on Ciel’s bed which you’ve just remade, intending to smooth the bedclothes out one last time once you stand up. You can’t help wondering if you’ve done something wrong, or if perhaps your presence simply isn’t a good fit for this household after all. It’s unfortunate, really ― you thought you were getting on so well with everyone.

Maybe not. They’ve all made up some reason to not be around you today, and not one of them has remembered…

Before you know what’s happening, Finny is in the room, so fast it’s as if he were a bullet shot from a gun. “(Name)! (Name)! Come with me, hurry! We need you!”

“Wha ― Finny!!” He’s so terribly strong, all you can really do is let him pull you down the hall. “What’s going on?!”

By the time he stops to answer, the two of you are at the top of the stairs. He takes your hands, gently, and looks in your eyes rather earnestly. “I hope you can forgive us all, but I think we’re about to make up for how confused we’ve made you today!”

You shake your head. “What on Earth do you mean, Finny?”

“Close your eyes and I’ll lead you downstairs! C’mon!”

The only option you have is to do as he says, right? Your curiosity won’t let you just turn around or go down yourself. So you close your eyes, letting him lead you down.

Even after the two of you get down the stairs, he keeps walking you. “Can I open my eyes now, dear?”

“Almost! I’ll tell you when.” A few more steps, and… “Alright, alright! Open them!”

You oblige as he lets go of your hand. What you see when you open your eyes is… the whole rest of the staff gathered in the parlor, along with your master. There are a few decorations strewn about, and a painstakingly detailed two-tier cake sitting on the table.

What’s more, before you’ve even processed everything, everyone chimes in borderline practiced harmony: “Happy birthday, (Name)!” (Well, with the exception of Snake adding in a quiet, “Says Webster.”)

You’re surprised you don’t fall back flat on the floor.

Is this what they were all avoiding you today for? So they could catch you off guard after pretending like none of them remembered your birthday?

Quickly, your eyes start filling with tears, and your hands fly up to cover your face. Oh, it would be so embarrassing to cry in front of Ciel and your coworkers, but… “I-I thought you’d all forgotten…”

“Of course not, my lady.” Sebastian steps forward, reaching to replace Finny’s hands with his. “Our sincerest apologies for making you think that. We had to keep you away until everything was just so.”

“We wanted you t’ ‘ave a special first birthday with us, we did!” Mey Rin pipes up, giving you a bright smile.

Bard clicks his tongue as he lights up the single candle on the cake. “Oi, sorry, it took me way too damn long with the cake, even with Mister Sebastian’s help. We didn’t mean t’ keep you waitin’ quite this long.”

You almost don’t notice Snake walking up beside you, until he gives you a pat on the shoulder. “We’re both new here… says Webster. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one struggling to adjust.”

Ciel silences everyone else by stepping forward. “(Name). I want to officially welcome you to the estate. Like it or not, you’re a Phantomhive servant now. If you don’t feel you can carry yourself with pride for any other reason, do so for that reason.” You swear you see his lips quirk up briefly, though it’s gone as soon as you notice it. “That isn’t a request; that’s an order.”

Sebastian moves his hands from yours to set his on your shoulders, gingerly guiding you forward. “Come, come. You must be looking forward to your cake. Do be sure to make a wish as you blow out the candle, won’t you?”

You look around the room before nodding. You feel so overwhelmed, you don’t even know what to say. “Th… thank you, everyone. Mister Sebastian… Bard… Mey Rin… Finny… Snake… a-and… and Lord Phantomhive. Thank you so much. I… I can’t tell you how much all of this means to me…”

Well, the best gratitude is to make sure your wish is a good one, isn’t it? You take a breath, then lean forward and blow out the candle. Knowing Bard, you’re shocked it isn’t some kind of sparkler.

There’s a scattering of applause among everyone else as you lean back, then Sebastian moves around you to start cutting the cake.

“What did you wish for? Asks Donne.” Snake tilts his head at you, briefly, before eyeing the cake with the gaze of a child in a sweets shop.

“Oh, Snake, you can’t ask her that!” Mey Rin chides. “She can’t say! If she says what it was, it won’t come true!”

“It won’t?! No, I suppose it won’t, Donne…”

Surrounded by people who truly care about you, for the first time in a long time… you feel like you belong somewhere. And you feel like even if you say something, your wish will probably come true. But you’re not taking the chance, because you’ve never wanted a wish to come true more in your life.

I wish… I get to celebrate my birthday here with my new friends next year, too. And the year after that. And every year until they tire of my company.

(Though, you get the sense they never will.)

#tehgreatboo #Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Bard #Ciel #Finny #Mey Rin #Sebastian #Snake #reader insert #platonic #friendship #fluff #AAAAAAAAAA #one hell of a queue