#and either way it doesnt end well for anyone involved

[hella1975]

the harsher parts of mental illness are always treated so so badly in media and it's genuinely very special to see someone handling them gently - especially because you've said it's very personal for you and that makes it so much easier to like? live in i suppose? because like you said the guilt can be overwhelming and the crushing weight of knowing KNOWING that you're one bad day away from wrecking an important relationship just out of pure FEAR can be so debilitating to live with especially bc people do fundamentally view that as just. a bitch response. knee jerk malice. but it's not half the time it's sheer fear (which doesn't excuse it but it does explain more) so it's nice to see that being treated like the actual complex response it is <3

yes omfg i need to stop getting surprised when taob winds up being incredibly cathartic for me bc i put a bit of myself in it and (shocker!) there are people like that who actually get it. like there are multiple people that to this day ACTIVELY dislike me because i not only said something bad to them but because i ON PURPOSE took the thing i knew would hurt them most and said it in the harshest way i possibly could. like that was a conscious effort on my part i went out of my way to think about what would hurt them and i just went for their jugular. but i wasn't doing it for the sake of meanness any more than i was doing it because they deserved it. like i said before there are two instances when i do this and that's as a defence mechanism or to self-destruct. i dont really do the former anymore - and that took YEARS to grow out of bc that was my Main Response to literally ANY conversation i didnt want to have. people are significantly less likely to ask you personal questions if you immediately try and make them cry when they do lol. this is where 90% of my 'i was a bitch in secondary school' posting comes from - but ironically the less i gave into the former the more it translated into the latter, so i lost either way and so did the people around me. i really dont think im that bad anymore bc i found ways around it and now i cant think off the top of my head anything even CLOSE to what i used to do that's happened recently, but i have YEARS OLD guilt from long dead friendships that i will - and deserve to - live with forever bc regardless of the reasoning behind it i still said terrible things. and like. it never gets talked about bc from an outside pov im very obviously being a complete cunt and who would want to sympathise with that

#like when i get a certain way my go to response to it nowadays is to isolate and typically that would be a bad thing #and a couple weeks ago actually boom noticed me doing it and naturally bc they're a good friend #they were worried and wanted to figure out a way around it bc isolating during a depressive episode is generally considered a Bad Call lol #but the reason i isolate is bc ive now learnt my own tells to figure out when my self-destructive behaviour is gonna start lashing out #like i literally remove myself from people now bc i KNOW if i dont regardless of if they're trying to help me #that dumb voice in my head is either gonna want to get them the fuck away #OR i'll want to like. 'prove' to them that im fundamentally this awful person and they're better off without me #and either way it doesnt end well for anyone involved #like the damage i deal myself by doing that is significantly higher than the damage i deal myself when i isolate #even if neither are particularly enjoyable #and it's got a twisted reassurance to it too like id rather hurt myself alone than take other people down with me #and i like to think that proves that - regardless of how rough around the egdes i am and the hurt ive caused - im actually a kind person #and like. that's what growing up is about! im learning coping mechanisms and ways around it! im getting better! #yes it's not perfect but by fucking god is it an improvement lol #ask #taob asks

[utilitycaster]

Regarding Editing and Innovating in the space, 2 people who get a Fraction of the credit they deserve are Ivan Van Norman & Marisha Ray. I mean, they created and developed one of the original mixed media cinematic interactive actual plays, Sagas of Sundry: Dread, and then Sagas of Sundry: Madness, and Marisha (later hiring Ivan as well) has continued that trajectory in some of the more intriguingly edited mixed format Actual plays at CR, like Call of Cthulhu, Undeadwood, and others, and being Instrumental in the developments at CR. Like, when you do watch the interviews you get a sense of just how Much of CR's current content designs, ttrpg intentions, and series are marisha's brainchilds, and it sucks that she doesnt get the credit others involved in similar projects, and even those projects, do.

This is a great point. I've mentioned this before w/r/t the fandom - Marisha, perhaps more than anyone, gets reduced even by many fans to "she's pretty and her characters are like what if a girlboss were a girlfailure" and her creative direction goes unheralded. It feels like this has gotten worse in recent years; I was baffled at how many people seemingly resented Calamity or Candela for taking up space they felt should go only to the main campaign when those were not only showcases for Marisha as a performer but also clearly something in which she had a strong hand in designing. Whenever people whine about there only being two main campaign episodes in a month because of Candela Obscura, I do think "You realize this was probably Marisha's call?"

I was focused in my response much more on Daggerheart, and so on the game design side (quick side note - reviews of A Familiar Problem, which Marisha worked on, were pretty positive; I wonder if something's happened in the past 2 years since that's when I've really felt this Damn Critical Role energy among actual play journalists), but I had been thinking about Sagas of Sundry and Undeadwood! I think I mentioned Sagas of Sundry in one of my posts about how Kollok isn't, in my mind, impressive. I loved Dread but never finished Madness before Alpha folded, but actually I was imagining something like Madness - fully on a set, people walking around like it's a play - for Kollok! When I saw everyone at a table with that rotating rock I was like "is this...it?" And, you know, Sagas: Madness wasn't entirely for me, but you can't fault the innovation. Similarly, when I think about the (baffling) criticism from one of the prominent actual play journalists I've had in mind while writing this, that Candela Obscura the show did not fully teach people Candela Obscura the game, I think about how Ivan Van Norman did straight up teach Savage Worlds during Undeadwood. Whenever people gush over the shadow puppets in Burrow's End I think it's deserved, but when they claim it's utterly new? Nah. Call of Cthulhu: Shadow of the Crystal Palace did it first. And Marisha had a guiding hand in the creative direction of all of these.

I think this is sort of elaboration on one of my points in my original post: I think a lot of the journalists are really out of their depth. I don't remember seeing their names when I first started watching CR in 2018, or when I got deeper into the fandom in 2019. My first actual play was TAZ, which I binged in late 2017. I really think a lot of the journalists flat-out don't know Sagas of Sundry or Undeadwood because they didn't show up until after Alpha folded. I've mentioned this elsewhere but so much of the claims of novelty and innovation are completely incorrect and not even terribly obscure. Look, I've seen/listened to most or all of 9 actual plays (this is counting D20 and CR each as one single unit, by the way - I've seen all but scattered one-offs from either), and seen or heard an episode or two of many more. I think that simply by doing that? I know more than a lot of these journalists.

Again: Worlds Beyond Number? The innovation is with the Witch class and the Wizard of the Citadel subclasses, and the allowance of extremely long downtime, but: longform podcast actual play with sound design? RQG did it starting in 2015. Griffin McElroy and Emily Axford have been composing their own music since 2017 or 2018 for their respective shows, both of which are also longform podcast actual plays. Again, Brennan pretty explicitly said "I don't think D20 is new, nor longform" in a quote and the article that quotes him argues that Fantasy High is new and longform...and that article also talks about how before D20 most AP video was livestreamed before talking about how boundary-breaking D20 was for having a livestreamed second season (you know, the thing that they just called old hat a paragraph earlier) that quickly pivoted to remote (even though remote livestreaming was actually quite common in smaller productions well before the pandemic, since you don't need anything but laptop cameras to produce it). I don't even keep up with much in the really indie AP scene, but those people I know who do are even less impressed by the state of Actual Play journalism than I, because D20 executes a lot of things extremely well, has a very talented roster of performers, and a budget most productions cannot hope to match, but a good deal of what it's credited for inventing (and which, again, it never claims to have invented. I want to be clear that the journalists decided to be like this for no clear reason) already existed. And, by placing this heavy emphasis on production, they are automatically making it hard for indie productions to impress them. For all they claim to be going after the 700 lb gorilla, they are simply cozying up to the 600 lb gorilla. It's real "um, why don't you try this little indie game called Pathfinder" hours.

I am fairly sure a lot of the people in prominent journalistic positions in the actual play sphere today came in only after the collapse of Geek and Sundry, is my point, and so I think they literally do not realize how much the medium owes to, for example, Marisha Ray and Ivan Van Norman, because they weren't watching in 2016 nor even skipping through the G&S archives, as I did as a new CR fan. I think they're absolutely out of their depth, and most of them don't even realize it.

#answered #Anonymous #long post #cr tag

[1-800-c0sm1c]

꒰win it all !꒱

to build hype around the new season, your arrival to the games was kept a secret up until it went live, and some legends had more notable reactions than others.

character x legend!reader

includes crypto, octane, and mirage !

a/n : im sorry ive been gone but look i made you some contenttttt daddy made you your favorite open wide 🥳. im noticing a severe lack of apex fanfics rn so here is my contribution 🤲.

warnings : mentions of stalking (average crypto behavior), drugs (average octane behavior), & mentions of hooking up (you guessed it, average mirage behavior).

CRYPTO // TAEJOON PARK: 

crypto doesnt like surprises, period. its one thing if its mediocre like a birthday party, but a whole person was hidden under his nose and he had no idea? unacceptable.

in summary, youve shattered his ego simply from your presence. not cool.

hes not really known for looking approachable either, so unless youve got the balls or stupidity to talk to him, hell keep to himself and sulk. this sets back any plans he had in the back of his mind by a whole season.

when you introduce yourself to him on the dropship he practically ignores you, acting as if anything else is more interesting than this small talk.

"hi im y/n, ive heard a lot about you from mirage. nice to meet you!" he rolls his eyes, witt is always one to blabber about others.

you scoff at his response, "dont expect me to be as open and idiotic as elliott." he almost adds you to that list, but holds back on it. if anything lifeline has told him holds weight, you could be useful to get information from the syndicate.

"im crypto by the way." he continues, if he plays his cards right you could almost be worth his time.

getting paired with you and mirage was almost comical, its as if the games were trying to make his life as hard as possible.

you got along annoyingly well with mirage, but you seemed more hesitant when it came to crypto, which was truly bothered him. (it was not jealousy at all. he was not jealous whatsoever. nope, definitely not.)

hes struggling to interact with you, like he does with most of the other legends, but youre a different case due to how useful you could be to him. thats usually the reasoning he uses when he racks his brain for ideas to come across less mean without irreparably ruining his reputation.

as if his prayers had been answered, a few hours after your first game you appear in the doorway to his room with a piece of high tech equipment in your hand. but your expression is different from how it was before. you appear upset, how can you be angry with him already? youve barely interacted!

if you want to be pissy, so can he. "can i help you? he asks, annoyance in his voice. "im almost sure you can, brilliant hacker." you drop the equipment in front of him on his desk, distracting him from his current project. he scowls. "what exactly am i looking at here?" you roll your eyes. "you tell me, this is clearly yours right? found it in my room." 

he examines the object, looks like a hidden camera. "ive never seen this before, if you want me to fix it call someone else, im not tech support." he pushes it to the side, but youre not having it. "nuh-uh, you cant brush this off. i know youve created the cameras used to record the games, this has to be your tech!"

so you think hes stalking you? thats a good idea honestly, he wish he had thought of it first. "just because i created those doesnt mean i also designed this. looks like someone else wants to keep an eye on you. got anyone in mind?" you pause for a moment, letting his words sink in. why cant it just be an open and shut case?

"i have no idea, i just got here! is anyone else even knowledgeable enough to design something like this?" he shrugs. "looks can be deceiving." "will you at least help me figure out whos stalking me?" he wants to say no. he knows its bad news, especially for someone like him to get involved in. but its a great opportunity to get closer to you. closer to his end goal, and despite it truly not being the only reason, he decides its good enough for him. "i guess i can make time, tell me about your interactions since youve joined." 

from this point on, you and crypto get much closer, it feels like he knows everything about you. (maybe he does honestly 💀.)

but you can tell hes getting frustrated when it comes to the hidden camera, and you cant help but feel like a nuisance. 

on the surface, crypto looks like you are whats stressing him out. why hes angrier than usual, why hes drowning himself in his work. and in a way thats true, but not exactly.

in reality, hes more worried for your safety. your arrival was an entire surprise, so how could someone have infiltrated your room to begin with? he cant figure it out, and almost entirely forgets the original reason he wanted to get to know you. 

its no longer a matter of getting information, that can wait. he has all season after all. but someone else trying to watch you? he wont tolerate it, and wants it to be the first thing thats fixed, he likes you much better when youre not paranoid, not like him.

OCTANE // OCTAVIO SILVA:

HYPED!!! another legend is always exciting to octane, even more so when he gets lucky enough to be paired with them.

octavio can be a bit much at times, but you match his energy almost perfectly! 

dedication to the apex games, and genuinely having a great time, not finding him annoying??? he should ask if youre into hard drugs too at this point.

anyone who goes up against the two of you on a team together should fear for their lives. octane swears hes never had so much fun in a match before. (almost as much fun as id have if kings canyon was in the map rotation this season ☹.)

theres a voice in the back of his head that he cant shake, telling him youre someone sent from the syndicate to mess with him, or maybe something worse.

he doesnt want to risk making you upset with him (like some other legends) so he reluctantly keeps these thoughts to himself, but due to his online personality being so similar to his real self, you almost immediately notice a change.

you decide to confront octane after the match, and originally he completely disregards your questions.

"what are you on about, compadre? im fine, really!" but youre not having it, and octane knows youre not going to drop this so easily.

"i just cant help but think this isnt how you usually act outside of games." you shrug when he asks for your reasoning of pressing on. "well how would you know? you just got here." he chuckles. "which i think is exactly why youre hiding things from me. i understand though, its hard to trust someone you just met. i only had an outsiders perspective up until a few hours ago."

"thats exactly whats so scary about you amigo. you seem like youre some fuckin syndicate spy!" "why? because we get along?" octane sighs. maybe having a legend who understands him is a bad thing. its easier to justify someone who hates him, theres plenty reason to. but like him? enjoy his company? hes confused, to say the least.

hes frantically reaching for one of his stims, if his mind is going to be racing so frantically, the rest of his body might as well do the same. "lets leave this here for now, yeah? ive got some videos to film!" he gets up quickly, but stops dead in his tracks when you offer to help him with his stunts. he whips around back over to you. "you sure?" you nod with a smile that might make him more energetic than any stim could. "alright cmon cmon cmon! i hope you known how to hold a camera, if you miss any good shots im gonna be pissed!"

rumors start about octanes elusive camera operator, all kinds of misinformation spreads too, some of it crazier than others. 

you personally find it funny, sometimes tempting the viewers by almost flipping it around to show your face, but youre stopped by octane and his ridiculously fast reflexes everytime.

"hey hey amigo no need to ruin the mystery! plus you totally just didnt film that awesome stunt i just did! what am i paying you for!?" 

you try your best to stop yourself from laughing, but at this point youre sure it must be obvious its you behind the camera, youre just going along with the "mystery" because octane asked you to by whispering in your ear that it "increases his interaction" or whatever influencer bullshit. (you were more focused on his voice than what he was saying tbh 🧍.)

the other legends are sick of you two at this point, and are just about ready to expose the "secret" to get octane to shut up 😭. when i say you guys are always together doing stupid shit i mean ALWAYS!!

MIRAGE // ELLIOTT WITT:

a flirt wbk. expect to be invited to lots of yacht parties.

mirage is known to have a very welcoming aura, and you noticed this the second you first interacted on the dropship. (anyone wanna take me out? come find me 🤭.)

you guys are on the same team for tdm, and he is almost constantly by your side.

someone sneaks up behind you? hes already sending a decoy their way so you can get the upper hand.

in case you miss? no worries, hes right behind you with pinpoint accuracy. (talk about a great first impression.)

you guys absolutely crushed the opposite team 50-15, and mirage hurriedly rushes over to you the second the match is concluded to invite you to his celebration party that night.

youre more surprised he has the energy to still keep going after such an intensive match, and you barely get the chance to say maybe before hes walking away excitedly.

uh, actually i might sit this one out-" "cool, cool, cool. ill see you tonight!"

lets just say things get… interesting on the mirage a trois 😀.)

you hooked up on the boat okay, youre not the first (and might not be the last either.)

parties werent necessarily your thing, but after elliott had practically won the game for you today, you figured showing up was the least you could do to return the favor. you were honestly just hoping the yacht didnt blow up like youd heard about his other ones doing…

you arrive way later than everyone else in hopes that you arent the first person there, but your current situation is almost just as awkward as everyone assumes you managed to get lost on your way here. (as if you could miss mirages yacht if you tried…) however, you probably did look just as lost as everyone assumed you were while trying to find mirage in the sea of decoys and other party guests.

when you finally stop getting bamboozled and find the real mirage, you try to explain you were only stopping by out of politeness, but hes not having any of it. "what do you mean youre leaving already? weve gotta make up for all the partying time lost while you werent here!" he hands you a drink and leads you to a table with crypto and wattson, who seem to have just had an… important conversation interrupted with your presence.

"if theres anyone you wanna get to know in the games, other than me of course, these are the legends!" youre almost amazed at how mirage chooses to ignore the awkward atmosphere hes created, and manages to smooth it over in record time as well. crypto looks as annoyed as ever, meanwhile wattson attempts her best at a conversation with the group, and you almost wish you never showed up in the first place.

‘almost’ is the key word here, you knew deep down you didnt really have anywhere else to be, and going along with whatever such an attractive legend says was surely better than staying in your dorm room and missing out on a night of fun. which is exactly why when elliott leaned closer to your ear and said something that definitely wasnt pg-friendly, you downed your drink and made quick goodbyes to his friends before leaving to a secluded area of the yacht with the party host himself. 

i think by now the other legends are just waiting for you two to finally announce theres something between you. 

everyone, and i mean everyone seems to know, and i swear rampart is one more flirtatious comment away from exposing your corny asses during the next match.

however, youre hesitant. youre still incredibly new to the games, isnt it odd for things to be moving so fast?

sure, elliott is great, but you cant help but have an anxious feeling in your stomach, and making the mistake of looking at comments online surely isnt helping either.

mirage noticed your shift in behavior immediately, hes been around you more than any of the other legends, and he expects to be the first to hear of whats troubling you (if youre okay with it, of course).

he might not seem like it at first glance, but mirage really is a great listener. despite your first impressions of him making him out to be well… a party-loving flirt, he has so many more layers to him than whats on the surface level.

when he gets serious, hes not cracking his usual jokes, although hes still got his awkward charm. 

"i just… feel like were moving too fast. its only been a month since ive joined the game after all…"

he thinks for a moment before responding calmly, "well i mean, if you wanna take things slower, all you had to do was ask. besides we have all the time in the world! as long as you dont have some secret plan to leave the games or something, than were fine!" you smile at him.

okay, maybe he does still joke a little bit, put i promise its fine in context 😭😭.

can you tell i like crypto (especially jealous crypto) a totally normal amount 😦 totally not inspired by the mcc song by derivakat 🫶

#✧;;↬ my work.❞┊🍓 #apex legends #apex legends x reader #crypto #park tae joon #octane #octavio silva #mirage #elliott witt #crypto x reader #octane x reader #mirage x reader #apex legends fanfic #apex crypto x reader #apex octane x reader #apex mirage x reader #crypto x you #octane x you #mirage x you #apex legends x you

[episodeoftv]

Prelims, Vote 1 of 8

The top 4 finales will move on to be included in the main bracket

Propaganda is under the cut, may include spoilers

Agent Carter - 2.10 Hollywood Ending

Just as Peggysous became canon, just as Jack is about to start his redemption arc, they cancelled the show and left all of us on a massive cliffhanger for, let's see, almost 8 years at this point. We need ANSWERS.

Daybreak - 1.10 FWASH-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

It was written as a cliffhanger for a second season that would never come, but it just felt flat. The one objective that our leading lad (Josh) had been chasing (saving Sam) was rendered pointless, because the moment the big bad was defeated she effectively declared herself the new big bad and everyone who wasn't a major character went 'hmmm, okay!' And accepted it! They didn't even address this all that well, just ended with a shot of the MCs looking shocked.

Doctor Who - 12.10 The Timeless Children

this finale is shit!! absolute ass! nothing happens in it for it to justify having such a cool name. the master captures the doctor, shows her a slideshow that amounts to ‘‘you’re adopted!! :)" doctor breaks out of her matrix prison thing by overloading it with memories when the matrix is The Supercomputer and it’s used to hold all memories of all time lords ever? you know, the species whove been doing their thing for a billion years and live up to 10,000 years? the doctors new memories should either already be there or make nary a dent in it. the doctor’s like ‘‘why would they do that! why would they lie?’’ girl they have been lying to you since forever. they killed you once. theyve tried to kill you so many times. they turned you into a fucked up anti time monster that one time. one of the doctors past past selves even told her it doesnt really matter!! what was even the point

Loki - 1.06 For All Time. Always.

The series was going downhill past Episode 3 tbh, but it really just was a load of crap only interested in setting up the multiverse

Tales of Arcadia - Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans

This finale undoes everything the show worked for. In order to give itself stakes it kills off a few characters, but in a way that only indirectly impacts the MCs (such as Jim's Mom's fiancé getting killed). Then, at the end of the special, the main character uses time travel to go back to the start of S1E01 and changed history so he never becomes the trollhunter. Instead he makes his next friend the trollhunter instead. In terms of anticipation it was not at all what anyone was anticipating. (I had assumed he'd go to the start of the special and defeat the titans without any casualties). Having undone time only he remembers the previous timestream and he makes no effort to engage with it outside of accepting his changeling principal far sooner.

Ted Lasso - 3.12 So Long, Farewell

This trash ass finale undid three seasons of character development for every single person involved (except Nate!). A long-distance parent returned "home" despite having no attachments besides his child and leaving behind his entire found family, an abused and neglected woman was left behind by the person who taught her she didn't deserve abuse and neglect, and two characters who spent the whole show learning to cooperate and care for each other got into a fistfight over the girl they both dated.

Torchwood - 3.05 Day Five

No propaganda submitted

#prelim #wfprelim #wfpoll #poll #polls #agent carter #daybreak #doctor who #loki #tales of arcadia #ted lasso #torchwood

[puhpandas]

For the writing prompt, I really just want to know how Gregory would handle anyone that bullies Evan. I can't imagine anyone getting out of that with unharmed shins.

(Either they're best friends or adopted brothers, maybe also Dad!Glamrock Freddy and/or Bonnie to reprimand and praise Gregory for the beatdown)

Don't Mess With The Chicken

(2,312 words)

(Gregory sacrifices his spicy food to attack a bully that was bothering Evan. A food fight and feels ensue)

Evan should have known that he cant hide the way he's feeling from Gregory. He knows him to well to not notice. So when Gregory sits down next to him at their lunch table and notices Evan's demeanor, of course he comments on it.

"Just the usual." Evan replies, picking half-heartedly at his food with his fork. "You know how it is."

Gregory nods while unpacking his own lunch, already glancing across the cafeteria with pointed eyes. "Who was it this time?"

"Terrance and his friends." Evan tells him over the roar of the cafeteria, sighing miserably. "For some reason, he suddenly decided he hates me this week."

Evan doesnt need to look to know Gregorys making that face he makes when he has intention to get revenge. But when Evan does end up looking over at his friend, he finds himself being correct.

"You want me to teach him a lesson?" Gregory asks, already grinning at the idea. "He wouldn't bother you again for a long time."

Evan glances over at the table that Terrance and his goons sit at subtly. "No, I dont. I dont need him to hate me even more." He hisses.

Gregory deflates, shimmying in his seat to fully face Evan and lunch left on the table. "Oh, come on!" He tries to meet Evan's eyes. "I swear you wont have anything to do with it! He wont even know you told me."

Evan scoffs. "Why do you want to mess with him so badly? You didnt get your enrichment for the week?"

Gregory rolls his eyes. "Its nothing like that. I just hate not doing anything if I'm able. I want to help you out."

Evan tries to ignore the warmth that blooms in his stomach when Gregory says something kind, and that he really means. "What would you even do, anyway?"

Gregory smiles slyly. "I'm not telling you or you wont let me do it."

Evan groans. "Exactly!" He yells, probably too loudly. "You're gonna do something crazy, and hes gonna take that as a challenge, or something, and them he'll bother us even more--"

"What are you two talking about over here?"

Evan shuts his mouth with a dry click when Terrance is suddenly standing at the head of their table, chest puffed out and goons lined up behind him. "What, arent gonna tell me? I bet you were talking about how scared of me you are, huh?"

Evan says silent, because that's exactly what he was doing. Shame coats his stomach when he cant rebut, but his eyes widen when Gregory does it for him.

"We were talking about your mother." Gregory shouts over the noise of the cafeteria. "And how good she is in bed."

Terrance almost looks insulted, and glances behind him at his friends, suprised smiles on their faces. Terrance doesn't share the same sentiment, if the pinch in his brow is any indication. "You wanna play like that, huh?" He sneers. "Its not a good idea to get involved with us, kid."

Terrances words scare Evan, but unlike himself, Gregory stares the bully down, face carefully neutral and uninterested. "If you say so. You know, you're not that much older than me. Not old enough to be calling me kid."

Terrances frowns, as and when theres a twist in his lip, Evan feels a quick bolt of fear shoot through his stomach.

"I'm bigger, though." Terrance points out, stalking around the side of the table, their side like a predator hunting prey. "What do you say you come over here and we settle this?"

Gregory clicks his tongue, looking back towards his lunch and unwrapping his chicken and sauce. "What, arent confident you're smart enough to match me in words?"

Evan's eyes blow wide when Terrances face turns a mean shade of red. He jumps when Terrance slams a hand on their table, eyes glinting in anger. "You have a death wish or something?! I'll beat the shit out of you!"

Gregory cackles, still not looking over, just unwrapping a plastic spoon and unwrapping his sauce for his lunch. "Then come over here and do it."

Evan goes rigid, trying to catch Gregory's eyes with his own wide ones as if to ask what are you doing?! But he doesnt get the chance to when Terrance snarls like a rabid animal, and lunges at them.

But apparently Gregory was expecting this, because when Terrance reaches out, a straight shot from the head of the table to their seat, Gregory scoops up a spoonful of his sauce for his chicken, lifts it up, pulls the spoon back, and launches the sauce like a tasty projectile.

Evan gapes, his mouth shaped as a wide O, because he knows Gregory likes spicy sauce with his chicken.

Another thing Evan knows is how dead on Gregory's aim can be. How he always hits a bullseye. How he almost never misses.

It's clear Gregory hit his mark when Terrance flinches as the sauce thwaps into his eyes, and he just stands there, confused with twisted lips.

Terrance doesnt even have time to lift his hand up to inspect the projectile. It only takes seconds for it to kick in.

Evan flinches when Terrance begins to shriek, an angry, pained one, and he flails around, eyes squeezed shut as the hot looking red sauce undoubtedly set his eyes on fire.

His goons startle, looking alarmed when their leader runs around screaming and flailing, almost like a chicken with its head cut off, and Evan thinks it fits almost too well.

"You--!" Is all Terrance can manage, reaching out his arms to grab Gregory like a violent version of Marco Polo, but hes way far off. He slams into the table, pounding a fist into it as the pain undoubtedly overwhelms him. He yells in pain, before, "I'll kill you! You bastard! I'll end you!"

Gregory stands up on the table next to Evan, and he only has a moment to look over before Gregory bellows "Food fight!"

To Evan's immense suprise, Gregory's call actually works. Kids all around them begin to yell, grabbing their own food by the fistfuls and tossing it at their friends. Evan can see food soaring across tables, and he yelps when a banana peel almost hits him right in the face.

"Gregory!" He yells over the commotion. Gregory himself is cackling, packaging up his chicken for safekeeping. Evan uses his arms to protect his head from any flying food. "Duck and cover Gregory! Duck and cover!"

"Screw that!" Gregory yells, and Evan yelps when an angry yelp is heard next to him. He only has a moment to look at Terrance jumping at them before a hand grabs his wrist, and Evan is dragged away from the table, only just managing to grab his Fredbear lunchbox.

"Run!" Gregory yells, as if he didn't just grab Evan's hand with no warning and drag him into the trenches. The cafeteria is a war zone; food is flying everywhere and kids are flipping tables, using them as shields. Evan's ears hurt from all the voices yelling and laughing, and he's almost slipping on wrappers as he bolts behind Gregory.

All Evan can do is follow behind Gregory as they dash for the doors. Evan doesn't dare look behind him, lest he see Terrance or his friends chasing after them. Evan raises his other arm to protect his head from flying chip bags, and he can see an apple core nail Gregory in the side of the head.

Finally, they break through the cafeteria doors, and the rush of silence when they shut behind them is so jarring Evan almost believes someone threw their thermal water bottle at him and knocked him out.

Gregory still has that adrenaline spawned smile on his face, but despite Evan's insistence on staying out of the spotlight, staying invisible, so you dont get targeted, he has to admit that he has that rush thats undoubtedly in Gregorys chest in his chest, too.

"Never do that again." Is all Evan says when they finally catch their breaths. Gregory bursts into laughter, and in the empty halls of the school, Evan joins him.

"You're not mad that I burned the living daylights out of Terrances eyes?" Gregory giggles. "Hey, if that doesnt stop him from bothering you anymore, I dont know what will."

Evan sputters a laugh. "I wont be suprised if he has to stay home from school because of that." Then he takes a deep breath, his smile lessening to a small, content one. "...I'm not mad. Terrance attacked us and you helped us get away. And you only wanted to help me when he made me upset."

Evan only mulls it over for a moment; they've only been friends for a couple months so far, after all, but then he shoots forward, wrapping his arms tight around Gregory.

Gregory startles, but doesnt pull away. He adjusts his arms, squeezing Evan back.

Evan smiles, his cheek pressed up against Gregory's shoulder and his hair tickling his face. "I really appreciate it, you know?" He tells him, then hesitates in what he wants to say next. "Um... nobodys been willing to fight like this for me."

Evan can't help but feel scared when Gregory doesn't reply at first. Did he say something wrong? Did he go too far? Weird Gregory out? Cross a boundary? Is Gregory gonna exit the hug and then the school and never talk to him again? But Gregory just squeezes him tighter, and his voice is loud in Evan's ear.

"Of course, Evan." Gregory replies, patting Evan's back. "You deserve to be fought for, you know. Not like anything your dumb family says."

Evan laughs at that, wobbly and warm. His stomach blooms at the sincerity, and because Evan knows Gregory means it. He doesn't want Gregory to think hes weird, or weak, or a crybaby, but he hadn't been able to stop Gregory from hearing his family's comments one day over the phone.

But of course, Gregory probably took that as a challenge, or something. If Evan knows Gregory, he probably decided in that moment to spite his family by trying to make Evan believe he isnt weak, or worthless, and he doesnt need to change.

Evan huffs a chuckle, a short breathy one, when he probably hit the nail right on the head. His first thought is that Gregory is easy to read, but he dares to believe that maybe, he and Gregory are getting close enough to where Evan just knows Gregory, and Gregory just knows him.

"Maybe one day I'll work my way up the ranks to defeat your family." Gregory says against him. "If I beat enough bullies, maybe I'll be able to give Michael a piece of my mind, too. Hes obviously missing a slice of his."

Evan giggles, a grin on his face, and surprisingly, Evan doesn't feel dread at what Terrance will do next, or what his returning plan of torment will be, because running through a storm of flying lunch was pretty fun, and if hes got Gregory to help him out, who really wants to beat some sense into his idiot brother, he'll be okay.

-🐻-

"Gregory Angel Fazbear!"

Gregory groans next to Evan on the sidewalk, slumping while standing up. "Oh no..."

Gregory's Dad storms out of the front door of Gregory's house, hands on his hips and an angry expression on his face. "What have I said about attacking your peers?!"

Evan himself shrinks, because Freddy has a really intense stern voice, but Gregory doesn't seem as phased. "Dad, I was just--"

"Hear him out, Fred." Gregory's other dad steps outside as well, putting a hand on his husband's shoulder. "What happened?"

Gregory frowns at being interrupted, but continues. "It was epic. A bully was abou to attack us, but I projectile shot spicy chicken into his eyes and started a cafeteria wide food fight!"

Freddys eyes blow wide, but Bonnie just chuckles. Freddy turns to his husband in shock when he doesnt match his stern expression. "Bonnie."

Bonnie covers his mouth with his hand when the chuckles dont stop. "He was just defending himself, Fredbear. And his friend, too. Would you of rather him let himself get hurt?"

Gregory nods, crossing his arms. "Yeah, Dad. You always told me to use my surroundings to my advantage if it's to protect myself from someone will ill intentions."

Freddy just hums, deflating. "...Okay, Superstar. You win." But he points a stern finger at Gregory, saying, "But I dont want to get any more calls from the school claiming a child has hospital grade injuries coming from you, okay?"

Gregory rolls his eyes subtly, but nods. "Okay. I'll try."

"There is nothing wrong with running away, Superstar." Freddy points out.

Evan watches Gregory's face closely, because this whole conversation hes been stoic and annoyed, but Freddy just threw the words that Gregory's been preaching at him for weeks back into his own face.

Gregory looks caught off guard, but sighs, conceding. "Fine. You're right. I'll do that next time."

"Good. I am proud of you for defending your friend, Superstar. You did it for a very noble reason." He smiles warmly, and pulls his son into a hug. "I am glad you're growing up to be such a kind and considerate boy."

Evan laughs, because he imagines if his family ever had anything like that to say about him in front of a friend, he'd be embarrassed.

But right now, all he finds is that hes pretty glad, too.

Chica, Gregory's aunt, suddenly peeks through the front door. "Hey everyone! Pizzas done!"

The family begins to disperse off the porch, filing into the house with roars of anticipation, and Evan tries not to tear up when Gregory grabs his arm and drags him inside with them.

ao3 link

#i cant believe i went over 3 weeks without writing flashlight duo and didnt melt into a paste #thanks for the prompt!! #pandas writes #fnaf fic #flashlight duo #oneshot #ficlet #prompts #gregory and evan #fnaf gregory #evan afton #fnaf security breach #fronnie is in it #wont tag it tho its too small of a part #gregory #evan #flashlight duo modern au #flashlight duo oneshots

[adrian-sheppy]

Sorry if this is completely wrong igore if it is LMAO but I noticed you seem to have different hcs for how mind lost his eye!!! Like in Seattles Going Under it was lost in a vague fight or something, but in art w/ the resonance cascade he lost it prolly during the ambush? I was wondering if you had info to share on it/infodump abt or if its just whatever makes the art more fun!

hehe youre observant and actually right on the money. yup!  so essentially i just have different eye trauma head canons for whichever version of freemind im drawing; since he doesnt actually lose his eye in canon, its up to everyone to fil in the blanks if they wanna use the popular headcanon. i wrote .  a good chunk of stuff .  so i put it under the cut . but heres a picture to be like a . tldr

I sorta like his eye already being gone before the resonance cascade (in a non-freemanverse scenario). he does verbally say something like "my eyes" in the series, indicating he has two, BUT . well.  its a headcanon. so we can have fun with it . my eye loss pre-rescas freemind stems from my original freemind design (before i ever started posting half-life on the internet) where he had short hair, but i needed a way to distinguish him from og gordon, so I used thr popular one eye headcanon. then I realized him losing his eye bc of the military goes perfectly with martini losing an arm. that bothered me for a while until i realized i could just have multiple freemind designs + headcanons. if theres different variations of Gordon  and martini, why can't there be some of Freemind as well? grins grins

i left it open ended in my SGU because people have their own headcanons and I thought anyone could just fill in their own. if I did every make a canon eyeloss event prequel thing, he would've lost his eye during college in some sort of either freak accident (like tripping on something and injuring himself bad; I like this one because he'll lie and say he was in a fight) or, like u said, a fight . for SGU, college was a low point in his life of him struggling with freedom from his parents for the firsr time, but them and their ideals still holding him hostage. he is simultaneously more repressed and more emotionally volatile than present!gordon. then, when his parents die, hes just given a clusterfuck of emotions. so why dont we add physical trauma? whatever the sgu canon event eye loss was, it was definitely related to substance abuse issues. whether that be he was high/drunk and got into an accident, or fought someone... not sure! yet. the only thing that i can say was that no fire or chemicals were involved, since his tearduct is (unfortunately for him) wholly in tact!

but for freemanverse!freemind, he should lose his eye during the rescas since its like thematic and stuff if (almost) every Gordon Loses Something. also, angst. whenever I draw freemanverse (even in a domestic setting) in my head, i always think of them surviving the rescas together! i have. convoluted freemanverse headcanons. the eye loss is an important freemanverae event because, like martini, it gives him a valid reason to REALLY dislike benrey (but in my au, benrey isnt the big bad, so he "redeems" himself kinda sorta) . and then it ALSO opens up freemind to be upset and vulnerable, which allows him to bond with his fellow freemen.

...

also I want barmey to tend to his wounds and call his scar(s) badass. im not immune to buttermind and i never was.

honorable mention: sims freemind, who has both eyes physically but only can see from one. this is due to me unable to properly texture a glasses + eyepatch combo, that and i have no experience with 3d modelling (I did try!).

i hope this is a satisfying enough infodump!! I'm sorry if it's a bit vague; a lot of my ideas tend to be fluid. i also like taking inspiration from what other people think! some of you guys are way super smart and have awesome ideas. i am not immune to well articulated essays and thought out headcanons

#also fun fact! my og freemind design had short hair BECAUSE i was going to use his hair growth to indicate time passing #going from the rescas to a more domestic and “calmer” setting with his new friends #and the hair growth is supposed to represent lije... self acceptance almsot #and like a slightly healtheir view of himself (dont worry hes still an asshole) #and thats also why COLLEGE FREEMIND (who i never draw) has short hair also! #yay! emotional growth represented by the literal growth of hair! #freeman's mind #freemind #mindverse #gordonverse #gordon freemind #freemanverse #asks #half life

[the-s1lly-corner]

hiii could i get J, P, Q an U for Slender? thanks! and i hope your day is going really well >_<

More Fluff Alphabet /w Slenderman but these letters!

my days been pretty okay! slow, but not terrible :O gonna be slow from tomorrow until next saturday so i might promote requests being open ponders not proof read!! though to be fair i dont. think i proof read any of my stuff

J (JEALOUSY)-

he can get rather possessive in general when it comes to you or his proxies so uh

don't like, try to make him jealous on purpose, it doesn't end well for anyone involved. actually don't try to tick off forest demons in general

i know i keep saying stuff like "oh god forbid someone make you uncomfortable" in these but like. slenderman is still this huge powerful creature, i know my interpretation on him is a bit silly n different but he still has roots in the 2010s fandom interpretation, you know?

there will be... a mess... is what im saying

in the case that someone is being weird with you, he's less jealous and more angry, though, of course not angry at you

though there will be hard boundaries set in place if you try to rile him up on purpose, he doesnt want to waste his time on someone whos going to toy with him like that. both in a "hey thats not really cool or healthy of you to do to me or our relationship" and also "im fucking slenderman im a old ass powerful demon, who do you think you are?"

P (PETNAMES)-

he calls you; love, darling, my dear

he likes being called; really anything under the sun, because as long as its something coming from your mouth hes pleased, because it ultimately means hes yours and youre his

q (QUESTION)-

for more context see this post! dives into lore stuff for my au/hcs but it'll help add context to this segment!:

here!

hope the link copied well enough </3 if not you can find it on my blog, titled "all entwined in one web" or something along those lines

anyways

some variant of "why do you stay"

you could have decided to be with literally anyone else, but you chose a solitary self loathing demon who eats people in order to survive, created for the sole purpose to cause issues and harm to humanity

on one hand he wants you to stick around and keep him company; but on the other hand he wants you as far away from him as possible so you can go out and live your own life without being in danger or having to put up with his whole deal

please give him lots of reassurance, its going to take a lot for him to stop asking those kinds of questions; assuming he stops asking at all

U (UPSET)-

i feel like him being upset is similar to the jealousy part of this post, but just more. broad. like hes not going to take shit if youre going to try to upset him on purpose

hes more patient if its accidental, though. diving into a previous fluff alphabet, if its an accident and something that can be helped in terms of future instances hes likely to work through it with you. he knows his time with you is short, if his partner is a mortal, and he doesnt want to waste that time

soft slenderman my beloved, let this man have complex emotions and desires and whatnot

kinda just. vanishes when he gets real upset, though, since he cant control his anger that well and generally just doesnt want you to see him like that- best way to help him like that is to just give him time

if youre the one upset hes going to listen to you, if you need someone to talk to. man of few words, advice can go fifty fifty

either gives good advice or not good advice; and thats on him being around for a long time but not really spending a lot of that time you know... interacting with others in a meaningful way

bonus if you still live at your place he's going to do a bunch of your chores for you. in. varying degrees of success, similar reasoning as above since he doesnt really have a home of his own to do like. dishes or laundry at. still bouncing between if im going to have the mansion be a part of this au of mine or not, and if so, how its going to tie in to everything

shrugs

#creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #creepypasta imagines #slenderman x reader #slenderman headcanons #slenderman imagine #slenderman x you

[silver-wield]

I dont get why ppl think Aerith will play a role in the lifestream nor do I get why ppl are listening to others who are pushing that theory either and getting concerned. Aerith is not going to play a role in repairing Cloud's mind. If she even does appear, if devs decide to appease some fans, it would most likely not even be in a speaking capacity and may be lumped in with an appearance by other dead comrades like Biggs, Jessie at the end or something. But her being involved doesnt make sense because overall the lifestream sequence is essentially one big "LSD trip" to repair fragments of memories from events that occurred before the beginning of the game. Aerith has no role in that so that makes no sense that someone who knows nothing about youngNibelheim!Cloud would know how to?? I like to make theories too but this one just doesnt make any logical sense. Overall, Rebirth already foreshadowed that Tifa is the only one who will be capable of repairing Cloud's mind by showing time and again that she is the only one who can snap him out of his trippy moments during the game. So not hard to conclude that the 3rd game's lifestream sequence, a huge part of the story and the climax of the overall story as well, will be Tifa healing Cloud, just the same as the OG.

All the precious memories we saw the weapons protecting are places only Cloud and Tifa know. Even the hidden stargazer heights is a place just for them.

And all the ultis state that Tifa is the only one Cloud opened himself up to in this way. He never let anyone else in his heart.

#final fantasy 7 remake #ff7r #ffviir #final fantasy 7r #final fantasy viir #cloud strife #cloti #tifa lockhart

[suffarustuffaru]

I think if Reinhard has a lover, he's a 'Christmas flag' guy to them? (being a red and green flag at the same time)

HAH the way you described that as "christmas flag" is so funny..... and yeah yeah reinhard would be that yeah. imo though like - i feel like everyone is gonna have red and green flags - and uh, ive heard the term beige flag lately too? HAH so like beige flags... as in like neutral stuff that is probablyyy neither good nor bad, it just depends.... at least that was my understanding of it lmao but yeah imo i think everyone is gonna have red and green flags it just. Depends. on how bad those red flags are gonna be bc either theyre blaring red alarms or oh that is like a normal flaw that you could try to work on. if that makes sense??

anyway reinhards perceived red and green flags i feel like would be different according to whoever is interested in him romantically HAH..... but like. given its reinhard the red flags are probably gonna range from reinhard having a habit of sounding or being a little insensitive... hes also oblivious a lot.... doesnt personally defend himself all that much.... may cross boundaries if he thinks is best.... but you know those are all things that he could work on and he genuinely has a lot of love and well intent in his heart so i think he would try his best for anyone he'd be romantically involved with!!

but also then theres the blaring red flag that im sure the vast majority of people in rezero would have for reinhard which is the part where PEOPLE THINK HES A MONSTER BC OF HIS POWERS WHICH T^T i mean. i kinda cant blame them (like dude can do some FREAKY shit fr) but im also terribly terribly sad about that. :<<<< poor reinhard :<<<<<< like can you imagine youre the person whos supposed to make the next sword saint with reinhard and he gets his dp of being good at sex and you realize with horror that this guy will just get new powers all the time or something. he cant do Anything without being forced to be Borderline God-like at Everything. ........ok well that and the specific horror of "does reinhard even want romance. does he even want sex. does he want kids. the kingdom will make him have a kid anyway. my god."

anyway :(( i hope reinhard gets his happy ending eventually (no powers) (he is Normal) (and his family is happy again :<< )

#rezero #re:zero #reinhard van astrea #my aroace reinhard hc lives on..... #but HAH... christmas flag.... thats a hilarious way to word it ty anon #ask

[dballzposting]

Was thinking again about the bizarre scenario that this post ended with in which Trunks has an ex-girlfriend drop a baby at his doorstep and Goten steps in to help him deal with this. Well I have more to say abt it .....

I think a lot these days about the nature of health and humanity so that's why I shoehorn dragon ball characters into such trying yet domestic situations. Sorry

READ ON TO DISCOVER TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS OF SON GOTEN & TRUNKS BRIEFS NAVIGATING THIS FUCKED UP SITUATION....TOGETHER!!!!

Well first of all the way that the infant's mother does not ask for money or resources, even though Trunks is rich, is sort of what dictates Trunks and Goten's decisions about this. Trunks's first impulse is to Give It Back or Give It Away but Goten is first and foremost stricken by how this mother only wanted to abdicate the responsibility altogether, and all privileges therein. It honestly fucks with his head a bit.

I don't know if this will make sense and I'm just spit-balling here but: Goten was raised by Chichi who freely expresses (and weaponizes..) her strong emotions, and most of her emotions have something to do with the importance of family and motherhood to her. And since she is This Way, Goten grew up feeling that these sorts of matters are to be revered or honored or most astutely FEARED, becasue his mother had a poor tolerance for her feelings and behaved as if they were All So Dire, and so that's the impression that Goten got.

Because of the other people in his life and the prevailing mindsets and his own experiences and training, Goten has minimal experience with being emotionally-stunted or fearful of his own feelings; but that initial impression of DIRENESS that he got from his mother is not wholly removed from him, and it has been repurposed into "Oh, it's just the emotions around motherhood that are dire like that." Because those are the emotions that he has not had himself and so has had no re-contextualizing experience with to teach him that they are tolerable like the rest of life.

He knows by now that his mother is batshit crazy but also, when he turns to the world, he does receive the same input that "actually motherhood and child-rearing are very important and delicate things" so he just carries on like "Okay, so it really must be that dire to experience. Okay."

His perception isn't ... WRONG, and a respect for motherhood is a respect for humanity, but his understanding does involve that core of emotional violence from his mother, and that part isn't necessarily universal or beneficial. But like honestly that can be ironed out. He's honestly fine to keep it, even. Like it's close enough

So: When Trunks calls Goten in an anxious fit and says around the sounds of a baby crying that SOMEBODY HAS DROPPED AN INFANT ON THE DOORSTEP OF HIS PERSONAL HOME-AWAY-FROM-HOME IN THE METRO-WEST-SUBURBIA-INTERSECTION and that THE DAMN THING HAS HIS EYES and he DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO, well... OBVIOUSLY Goten heads over there as fast as the wind. And as they try to discuss What To Do, Goten is really disturbed that ... a mother could do this?

....He didn't know that that was within the range of options for a mother.

Trunks doesn't understand it either, but moreso from the perspective of "I am BUSY and have 0 experience with CHILDREN so WHY would ANYONE think to DO THIS TO ME..?"

There is a lot to unravel here from Goten's POV: Trunks, why weren't you more careful? Trunks, weren't you also a bastard child? Trunks, aren't you rich, is this really a problem? Trunks, she's not even asking for child support money, doesn't that tell you something about the practical likelihood of this mother being in this child's life? I can't understand how a mother could do this. I cannot fathom the pain she is in, should I be crying about it on her behalf? I don't know if she knows her limitations and is being responsible, or if she is immature and we should be angry with her. Trunks, can't you see that this isn't necessarily about blame or fault, but about the morbidly-misplaced infant who is currently undergoing more emotional pain than any infant should?

I think of Goten as being really emotionally intelligent becasue of his lifestyle and becasue of his nature and becasue Thats What I Want To See And Write About Right Now Just Personally .... So he has the wisdom to know that all of his vexation is just GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT. He has the grace to allow himself however long it will take to subtly work out the perplexment and inner knots. He doesn't need to know everything right now. Becasue right now he has a fucking job to do.

JOB #1: HOSE DOWN TRUNKS

Goten is a real one and he and Trunks are Ride or Die TO THE MAX. Goten hears the slightest edge of nerves in Trunks's voice and he is THERE. He doesn't even think about it. He just assumes the responsibility of compassion becasue that's just what they do for each other. Goten is a very good friend

Trunks is obviously freaking out hardcore, and even though Goten is 100% ready to make this his own problem too, he still allows himself the courtesy of being removed enough to Keep His Head On Straight. He can offer the clarity of an outside perspective and the support of compassion which is exactly why Trunks called him first before calling anyone else. Goten breaks it down pretty simply.

The mother has behaved extremely in order to remove herself from the picture; she is no longer a player. You cannot rely or fallback on her. Forget about her.

You have money and resources, so stop panicking.

You can't keep this a secret from your family forever, but if you need some time, you have enough room and food and money here to get by alright without them for a short while; it's just the issue of needing a caretaker.

We don't need to involve a third party right this second, I'm here and available to help sort this out while we settle into the situation and figure out a best course of action.

This is your problem but don't think of it that way; it's much more a problem for the baby than it is for you. This is life and death for it. You and I can both respect the severity of that.

You can give it away if you want but you know that that won't last long, at some point this child will need to know the context for its Saiyan blood.

You're my best friend and I have no other obligations in my life right now; if you can't miss work then I will stay here and help figure this out. This is your child, and whether or not that matters to you is ultimately up to you, but I think that family matters, and I think that the needs of this random infant is bigger than whatever we have going on in our lives. I know that we can spare the few weeks or months it will take for us to set up a functioning game plan.

So they agree to forget about the mother as a player and potential helper; to avoid involving Trunks's family yet (Trunks's wish); and that even though this is so sudden and they are so unprepared, whatever they feel about it has to go on the back-burner for now because the needs of the situation persists no matter how they feel about it.

JOB #2: DEAL WITH THE BABY?

It would be very wise to involve an experienced caretaker right now. Even just calling up Videl and Gohan would be helpful.

Goten wants to do that, but he also doesn't want to argue with Trunks about it right now. Necessity calls, and the first few days are Goten handling the baby and telling Trunks to Calm Down and Get Some Rest and Go To Work and Act Natural and Clear Your Head and We Can Regroup In A Few Days. Ultimately if Trunks continues to feel violated then this may blow up further, so Goten respects his wishes for secrecy IN THE MEANTIME. He is fully planning on revisiting that later, because, NECESSITY CALLS, and what do THESE TWO KNUCKLEHEADS know about dealing with babies?

Well, Goten was a well-loved baby himself, and is necessarily intimate with his own inner sensations of vitality by virtue of his warrior status, and so he takes to the task intuitively, honestly. He quickly busies himself with cultivating a sense of safety and comfort for the baby, he pays very close attention to its feelings and internal states, he projects a presence of serenity and grace ...

This soothes Trunks, too, who actually listens when after the first hectic day Goten tells him to "go get some rest."

Trunks takes the opportunity to leave and sleep readily - this is all just so fucked to him. Goten is able to remain peaceful even while trying to calm a baby who is Not At All Accepting The Efforts right now, and the sight disturbed Trunks. That's his best friend who used to play in dumpsters with him. What is he doing being a better parent to Trunks's child than Trunks is? This shouldn't be happening to either of them. This isn't who they are. This is so fucked.

So he sleeps it off and goes to work and he comes home and Goten has in that time turned the house into the friendliest space he could cobblefuck/conjure. He has acquired milk formula and pacifiers, a crib, diapers, anything he could remember seeing around when Pan was born. He is wearing an apron and has started dinner but is currently sitting down and holding the baby and trying to soothe it, becasue all day he has been trying to soothe it, because it has been separated from its mother and it has been refusing to eat, and Goten has now committed to being a constant presence of warmth and serenity so that eventually the baby will accept his help. Goten "knows nothing about babies" supposedly but he knows VERY MUCH about what it feels like to be a human/Saiyan, and to be so small and dependent, so he is applying all the wisdom and discipline he's learned over his life.

He sees all the missteps and faults and voids of knowledge, but Trunks sees behavior that is far better than what he was putting out there initially. Goten is sympathetic but remaining unaffected by the violent anxiety that the baby is expressing, because he knows that if he gets worried and tense, then he will no longer be a safe container for the baby's pain like he is trying to be. He knows that this is very difficult for it, and he knows that this wound may leave an emotional scar, and he knows that it won't accept Goten as a caretaker until it's ready to, and in the meantime Goten is just trying to prove himself and rock the baby in his arms to facilitate what he hopes is a progression toward a feeling of safety and the prospect of regulation.

He is the only fratboy in the entire universe who could try to pull this off because he is one of the better warriors in the universe, and physical training and discipline IS emotional training because all the organism is one being. Also he is very respectful of the human condition and of motherhood in general, so it was never a question of IF he could commit himself to the task, but of HOW SOON he can move in.

And Trunks feels awful for thrusting this problem upon his BFF like this but he also feels a myriad of other things like Fear and Stress and Shame and Violation and an indecision around whether or not to Accept & Bond with this child and Indecision about Everything and ultimately an Exhaustion, so he just. Lets Goten's calm demeanor make everything okay.

Oooookay. So.

This just sort of goes on like this for a short while.

Goten becomes completely invested in his new responsibility. It's superficially comical; a fratboy with the freshest fade and biggest muscles, wearing an apron and feeding a baby from a bottle. The want to call Gohan or Videl or Chichi or Bulma or any qualified caretaker has gone unattended. the given reason is that, well, maybe it's not time to yet. The real reason is a mix of apprehension, a desire for quiet, and the good old classic Saiyan impulse of "Hey, wait, maybe I could do this myself, just gimme a minute - let me self-improve, hold on, I think I'm learning, I almost got it, just give me a minute." It seems irresponsible, but Goten is at the point where he really feels like involving more adults into the baby's life may just confuse and stress it, and it's not like there is anybody else who could magically heal the severed bond that the baby had with its mother.

Trunks oscillates as he processes: he is sometimes relieved to have Goten, sometimes disgusted, sometimes ready to call in reinforcements, sometimes ready to jump ship entirely. He sometimes makes dinner and sometimes watches Goten do it with a baby on his hip. Sometimes Trunks never comes home and stays at Capsule Corp for a night or two. He goes to work every day and takes showers that never feel long enough. Sometimes he escapes to meditate or train alone, but the clarity and peace is disturbed when he comes home to a distraught baby who never giggles and who has his eyes.

Trunks is sometimes mature about this and sometimes not. At once when he would impetuously demand to at least hold his child ("if this is SUCH a big deal and I HAVE to keep it, after all-"), Goten would respond simply and assertively with "OUR baby."

Now, though, a few long months in, when Trunks extends the effort of patience and grace of tolerance to hold his baby, Goten genuinely hesitates. He looks fretful and doesn't budge. Trunks thought that he had been a bit more respectful in his request this time - after all, it was a request, not a demand - but he senses from Goten's response that maybe he was still too immature, still unrealistic about what he could handle and what he could not. But, need this be a big deal, I mean - it's his, isn't it? Is it a big fucking deal for him to just HOLD it? What is he missing, here?

when Goten speaks, it's like how one whispers softly in a library, and Trunks feels slighted at being indirectly asked to watch his volume in his own home. He feels like he's being shamed, and he rejects this, becasue - is this REALLY a big deal, or is Goten just getting too deep into this and being dramatic?

But Goten tells him that hey, this baby is REALLY sensitive. Sure, it eats now, and clings to Goten like a baby should, but it seems to constantly rely on that presence, and it is easily disquieted, and it takes a lot of rocking to put it to sleep. Goten feels like he's put a lot of work in, and that the baby has come a long way to learn to seek out Goten's face and arms for comfort, but it is not yet wholly trusting, and it cries more than it smiles.

So Trunks sits on the couch next to him and tries to mirror the peacefulness that Goten is always putting out, but he is anxious inside, and that comes through. Goten carefully moves to pass the baby over to Trunks, and he moves slowly, and he tells the baby what's going on in a pleasant tone, and the baby furrows its brow, and Trunks recognizes it as an expression of his own, and he tries to gently take the baby into his arms, and his guts tighten when he hears Goten tell the baby "this is your father," and Trunks lets the baby look at him, and he tries to hold it right and quell the trembling of his nerves, and he gently rocks it at Goten's prompting. And the baby looks confused and sort of upset. And then really upset. And then it turns to look for Goten and reach out to him. And Goten is always careful to be responsive to this baby and so he knew that it was upset to go into the arms of the clearly-stressed-out-and-therefore-unsafe Trunks, and he knew to standby and be ready to take it back at any second. And this he does so. And Trunks stands up and leaves the house. Just fully walks out the front door

Trunks doesn't think of it in this way, but he is living what his father had lived through: he has a bastard child, but is not ready to become a father and pass the torch yet; he is not done with himself, with his arch, with his life.

Trunks is working a job he hates and has not yet found what he should be doing instead. He is not in love with machines like his mother is, and he is not perfectly suited for endless battle like his father is. He hasn't fallen into swords as his calling yet so he has no inkling of ever running a sword-training dojo - he just really has no idea what to do. He's always liked Having Fun and Chilling Out and Fucking Around and he's done quite a lot of that. In fact he's done that his whole life. A lot of which has been with Goten. Now Goten is acting as a mother to Trunks's bastard child becasue Trunks isn't good enough to take care of his own fucking problem. He's too immature or selfish, he's not serious enough, he's too cold even - he has no girlfriend or wife, he has no instinct to settle, he hasn't a familial bone in his body.

He knows how to meet bare minimum, he knows how to exist in shadows - he knows how to play the role of a son but cannot marry that with his own individuality, he cannot excel in his parents' paths nor follow his own, he cannot be someone his parents can be proud of. His sister is much more fit to do all that and more - Trunks can't decide if he feels hindered by the ceiling of his upbringing and parents' expectations, or inflamed by it to grow. His sister seems to be doing great though, and she is fierce and competent, and she never once asked Trunks's help for anything past the age of 6.

Trunks hasn't found himself yet. How could he be responsible for another? Not to mention - he has no experience with being needed.

Eventually he returns to tell Goten all of this. The baby has been put to bed and Goten is cleaning the kitchen, and Trunks walks in and tells him that he is so sorry for making this Goten's problem. He understands that they're ride or die but Trunks can recognize that he has not been bringing an equal amount to the table, even though it was his problem to start. He feels like pure shit about it. And he's sorry for keeping his emotional distance. He feels resentful for that fucking baby and he's sorry for not being able to reconcile with and move past that. And he's sorry for feeling violated by a situation that he himself wrought and that he should be able to HANDLE becasue he is an ADULT. He's angry at himself for still feeling like a lost child on some level, an for being so irresponsible as to have not yet resolved that.

He can see that this is more important than all that, and he is sorry for his incompetence regarding.

And he tells Goten that he is a WAY better parent than Trunks could EVER be - and, y'know, he's GRATEFUL for that, perhaps even feels a strange love for Goten for being there to raise his child, and that weirds him out, but anyway - y'know ... He knows that this can't be true, but he'd rather that it just be Goten's child instead. And Trunks is ride or die and would totally help him out any way he could, but also, yknow, when Goten's family or love interests step in to help, Trunks would, yknow, take his leave. And be grateful for that. Becasue he's no good at this. And he doesn't want the responsibility. And he can't tell if that's selfish or not.

........Aaaaand Goten. Lets him say all of that. Dries his hands. And then he sharpens his gaze. And just says exactly what he means and what needs to be said:

"I'm not a mother, I'm a 23 year old man who is unemployed and unmarried. 75% of the contacts on my phone are party-chicks and dude-friends. Three months ago I was doing keg stand enemas, and now I'm a broodmare. I'm nurturing a child that is not even mine. My body is rock-solid with hella muscles and I'm here trying to mimic the soft warmth of a mother. What I am is a guy who is doing his best - and you can be, too."

That really just cuts through the bullshit. He could also tell Trunks that he is good enough and that he needs to be kinder to himself because "we really don't have the time for you to be all locked-up and self-absorbed, like, if you could get going on the process of self-compassion then that would be great because we really need a second emotionally-available person right now..!"

It comes out now (or a little later when Trunks is willing to listen) thaaaaat ......... Hey! This has been EXHAUSTING for Goten!!

Not even just for the baby, but Goten has had to be calm and capable and soothing for TRUNKS, too!

A little is fine, but this has been going on for a few MONTHS now, you know!?!

And, Oh, the STRESS. Goten knows that if he worries too much then he will end up sending mixed signals to the baby, so he's had to make peace with the prospect that he could "fail" or that essentially the baby could never learn security or comfort. So Goten has accepted the situation as it is; there is an infant in distress, it is not his, it is his best friend's, Goten will do what he can to make sure it survives, he will do what he can to heal its heart, but it is undergoing quite the ordeal and Goten is untrained in such matters SO; this is reality and whatever happens happens.

But, also, Goten has necessarily BONDED with this baby, and he can follow its feelings closely, and- OH, he really does STRESS becasue he DOESN'T KNOW if he's actually HELPING OR NOT? Sometimes he feels like the baby is receiving comfort more readily than before, sometimes he feels like it is starting to withstand the stress of daily living without needing constant comfort, sometimes he can leave the room and return and the baby has not yet started crying in that time, sometimes the baby seeks him out in a way that does not feel so hopeless or needy, sometimes it cries in his arms in a way that feels purifying - but other times it goes cold on him when he misses signals, sometimes it rejects him, sometimes it won't eat, sometimes it becomes desperate and needy and will not be soothed, sometimes Goten starts to feel desperate and hopeless himself!

He wants to be there for the baby, to be a reliable regulator, but how can he when the baby has endured rejection and is now of the reflex to sometimes reject those that care for it?

I do think that there is a day where it starts to feel okay. The baby smiles and giggles and trusts that when Goten leaves the room he will be back soon. Goten starts to feel like it's not the end of the world when sometimes things happen that have the baby feeling ignored or violated, and that in turn invokes a phase of coldness and rejection by the baby - becasue Goten knows to just be patient and to tolerate it alongside the baby, and the baby will live through it. That's all Goten can do. Just continue modeling that it's alright, feelings are forgivable, his love is unconditional, and that life is tolerable.

But even beyond the baby: this situation has given Goten a LOT to stew on and process. His ideas about family and motherhood are being tested, and his best friendship is being twisted and tried. This is a lot for Goten to handle, but they have decided to not tell their families yet, and Goten cannot rely on his BFF for the emotional support - so he has been isolated in this. All he can do is soothe and rock the baby in silence and let the rocking motion soothe him as well. All he can do is remain calm and let things process in the back of his mind in their due time. All he can do is keep breathing and moving mindfully. All he can do is keep moving forward.

He has kept his DAMN MOUTH SHUT this whole time out of consideration for Trunks and a desire to keep the atmosphere calm and balanced. But, yknow, now that Trunks is opening up to him about his stress - Goten will go on ahead and share his.

Trunks says that he feels bad for making this Goten's problem, and to that, Goten has two insights:

1.) Stop calling it a problem! There are no problems, no mistakes, no failures; just what you do and don't and how you feel about it. Shifting around blame and derisive declarations unto the abstract concept of the "situation" e.g. THE PRESENT REALITY removes yourself from your much-needed presence and involvement. It takes away what you can DO about it, now.

2.) Okay Well if you feel bad for making this my problem then maybe you should consider returning all the hugs and kissies and pets I've given you and all the DINNERS I've cooked for you. Maybe *I* need to be soothed and rocked and kissed and pet in order to deal with what I'M going through. I can't keep being a mother to YOU AND your child. It's not MY FAULT that I wasn't there to make you use a CONDOM, Trunks!! I'M SORRY THAT YOU DIDN'T LEARN FROM THE CAUTIONARY TALE OF YOUR OWN CONCEPTION, TRUNKS!!!

Now that we're a few months in, it's time to say that - this really isn't what either of them ever meant to ask out of the other. They have always been each other's go-to for senseless, reckless, and wild thrills. They've given each other intellectual stimulation and emotional mediation, sure, but their default state is HEY DUDE CHECK OUT HOW HARD I CAN PEE. This whole situation wasn't necessarily in the cards for them. This isn't how they love each other!

But, they can both come to accept that This Is Just How It Is. I think that they can both be strong enough to adapt.

And, with this out of the way, they can start working more as a team. Turns out this shit doesn't HAVE to be miserable. Turns out that when you're honest, your vitality and excitement for life returns. Trunks becomes more involved with his child. They involve their family members and receive help and share joys. Goten is freed up to be able to connect with friends and ladyfriends again, and Trunks becomes more realistic about what he wants out of his life.

It's fine. Not a big deal.

End post.

Everybody stay graceful and lovely <3 Thank you for reading my post

#dballz posting #goten & trunkz #Oh The Sundays I've Spent making Dballz Posts ....

[maschotch]

If you could write a backstory episode for Hotch, what would it look like?

ah.. the age old question

truthfully im not much of a writer, so id have a hard time condensing everything id want out of his backstory into a 40 min episode (or a 2 part special). i think the simplest way would be something similar to profiler profiled where they take a case close to hotch’s home and he knows the people involved but doesnt want to admit it

tbh i think itd be difficult enough to set up a case like that. jj might have to bring it in—maybe she was surprised when hotch turned down her suggestion to consult and got passionate about it. (hotch can claim to be by-the-book, but when it comes to something he cares about, he caves pretty fast, so i think he’d be too concerned about avoiding reliving decades old trauma maintaining his composure around the team to let them dig around too deep). but jj goes behind his back (well intentioned, not well thought out) to assign the team this case anyway

ive given it a lot of thought and i think itd be funniest for hotch to just pretend not to recognize anyone. he likely hasnt been back since before boarding school, so he’s probably relying on no one recognizing him either. but some of the older folks at the precinct cant help but think of that hotchner fellow when they see the name. hotch does relatively well, but the team begins to notice he’s more tense than usual. theyre not really sure what to think until the sheriff (or someone idk) tells the story of the lawyer hotchner (spittin image of this fbi guy!) and his troublemaker son, and they start putting the pieces together

i think itd be fun to have the team forcibly dig around into hotch’s life. for one thing, it seems like the only way they’d get anything out of him about his past. and two, even if none of them are consciously aware of their own spiteful vindictiveness, it’s lowkey payback for all the times hotch has crossed their own personal boundaries “for the sake of the case.” anyway they find out about what went down in the hotchner household, and suddenly all the pieces come together: all the red flags theyve kinda just ignored until now form an ugly picture of abuse.

god forbid anyone gets closure on this fucking show. inevitably they dont really talk about it and after the case is over its basically never brought up again (unless morgan is mad about something or reid is losing an argument). itd probably end with hotch looking at a picture of his son or some cheesy shit like that. in true criminal minds fashion: hotch gets his trauma dragged up for no reason and then they never deal with or acknowledge it ever

#‘what case’ u ask? not my problem #‘how is it related to hotch?’ who knows #‘why did they need to dig into his life if it wasnt relevant?’ all is in the hands of the lord 🙌 #asks #aaron hotchner #bonus points if jj says something insensitive like ‘well at least u had a reason to kys as a teenager smh’

[vivaladicamillo]

I 10000% need some fluff and smut for Ryan Dunn!!!

RYAN DUNN X GN!READER HCS

okok more ryan dunn content bc lord im so whipped for him its not funny anymore, i also think there NEEDS more content of him on here i’ve scrolled to the bottom of the ryan dunn tags and im in need of content tbh, so might as well make my own for other ryan lover like me out there !

WARNINGS: nsfw elements towards the end

——————————————————

SFW:

oh this man is crazy for u

we’ve seen and heard of stories of ryans past relationships

we all know he would literally bend over backwards for u

i feel like hes not to big on romantic things though

like fancy flashy type romantic stuff

date wise he would probably take u either somewhere public like the movies or an icecream shop or like somewhere u genuinely really wanna go

in public though he always had one arm wrapped around u

either around ur waist or ur shoulder or even just holding ur hand

he wants everyone in that mf to know ur his

LOVES TO SHOW U OFF

keep a little photo of u in his wallet

“yah my girlfriend is super hot.”

the guys totally dog on him for it though

everyones just praying ur not like his past relationships

he just has a habit of letting people step over him bc he care abt them too much

but ur not like le that, ur different (hopefully LMAO)

when he started growing his hair out he definitely let u brush it and style it when u could

that man barely knows how to shower on a regular basis hes definitely not brushing his own hair regularly

SPEAKING OF SHOWERS

oh lord jesus christ ur gonna have to make him shower

hes gonna be smelling like a whole can of bounce that ass sometimes

u will probably have to make a deal with him to shower

or just lock his ass up in there and tell him hes not coming out untill he does shower

but honestly if u just ask him politely and nicely he will start trying to smell better and shower more often

anything for u

he loves to kiss u

like all the time, no matter where

in public, in front of the guys, in front of a old persons home, u name it and he’s probably gonna kiss u there

also he loves kissing ur nose, forehead, cheek and ofc ur lips

he also doesnt mind kisses back (lord please kiss his nose he secretly loves it when u do that)

any joke u make will make him do his little goofy laugh

oh and he will do anything to see u laugh or smile

he adore ur smile

he could just admire it for hours on end

i feel like his mom would love u too

ur just his perfect match !

NSFW:

hmm where should i start

i feel like hes a switch but hes more on the dom side

but not like rough and mean

he’s definitely a soft dom

he loves to take it slow, gentle and calm

he wants to enjoy every minute you guys spend together

slow pace but just right yk?

but he also loves it when ur dominant

seeing u above him and seeing u have all the power when it comes to the bedroom just does something for him

he don’t discriminate

LOVESSS when u give him hickeys

he will also give them to you yes ofc but only if hes feeling a bit jealous

he does not like sharing his sex life with anyone

maybe bam but thats a bog MAYBE

ik hes stated before he likes to keep things private

so no risky public sex or threesomes

maybeathreesomewithbambutthatsnot100%

oh he loves to give u head

and hes damn well good at it

he wont stop till u at least have came twice

SPEAKING OF CUM (hehe cum)

his favorite place for him to cum is either on ur thighs or in ur mouth

SHOWER SEX!

probably one of the only ways u can get him to shower

he likes using handcuffs on u though

thats on super rare occurrences

kink wise i think hes not into a lot

maybe hair pulling, spanking but not much else

hes always down to try some stuff though if u really wanted too

just nothing that involves him hurting u or u hurting him

i also feel like hes not one to joke during the deed

unless u both are in a silly mood then maybe theres some giggling and jokes

but otherwise he wants it to be more intimate and loving

PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE ALL DAY

“ah yes ur doing so good for me baby.” “u look so good with my cock inside u darling”

i feel like hes into being called a title

like sir or master (maybe)

i feel like he would be icked out by daddy though

his after care is amazing though

you want him to run u a bath? get u food, drinks? a magically gay unicorn? hes getting it for u no matter how tired he is

LOVES TO CUDDLE AFTERWARDS

he thinks its so cute when u fall asleep in his arms first

he just loves u so much and wants to see u happy

if ur happy and satisfied hes happy and satisfied

—————————————

hope u enjoyed!! i kinda just did a bunch of cute and spicy headcanons for this bc i just wrote another ryan fic abt a similar topic sooooo yea!

#HEHHEHE I LOVE HIMMM #RYAN BABYYYY #SCREAMING #jackass #cky crew #cky x reader #cky4 #cky2k #cky clip #cky3 #ryan dunn x reader #ryan dunn x reader smut #ryan dunn #ryan is so cutie

[victimsofyaoipoll]

alright time to write an essay detailing whatever yaoi has done to my girl nancy wheeler. so like, even when it comes to yaoi shippers nancy has had stonathan, harringrove, AND steddie over four seasons with steddie already having massive popularity + the other shippers, wheras thankfully eleven only has to deal with byler shippers when it comes to the victimization. but not to diminish eleven any more because she has def gone through it in fandom, im going to get into nancy's stuff: you will notice all three ships she supposedly gets in the way of (ignoring jargyle because the shippers are chill in my experience) involve steve harrington, AKA the most popular character if i had to guess and the white boy of the month. see, they were dating at one point in s1 and s2. the breakup was messy. like he kinda was complicit in her slutshaming at one point and didnt let her grieve her dead best friend properly and she ambiguously (as in nobody can fucking decide when the break up was) cheated on him so yeah. messy. mutually. if not more on steve's side given he was a bit of an asshole in s1-2 but gets better. yadda yadda fast forward to harringrove in particular, AKA steve x the guy who attacked a black child and abused his younger sibling (and im not attacking anyone thats just. what happened). basically 90% of them try to convince people nancy is abusive for the two arguments that occurred and is a slut and privileged (never mind steve being probably the most well off member of the main cast + hes a white guy in the 80s) blah blah blah. also ironic they call her abusive OFTEN when billy (one half of harringrove) kinda like threatens his sister max and breaks her things and otherwise abuses her Often. but yeah. they hate her for breaking his heart. they hate her for getting in the wya of their ship possibly. they hate her in general. add that to the general fandom misogyny and suddenly a large number of people are writing essays about how much they hate her and how she's a piece of shit, actually. fast forward to s4 and steddie and a new problem arises: steddie shippers keep flooding her character and ship tags with primarily steddie. so now your options regarding her are mlm ships and mlm shippers shitting on her. also keep in mind there is now more content for half of that ship, a guy who shows up for an hour and dies in the same season, than nancy, a mc. and if you like nancy ships like jancy or ronance, too bad those tags are flooded as well. as in someone did analytics in august for ronance i think and at one point the majority of main pairings in the ronance ao3 tags itself was steddie. either way both ships usually end up as side ships or bait into a steddie centric fic or tumblr post. or nancy ends up third wheeling and getting them together. as a nice bonus (not really) recently steddie shippers have decided that they too hate nancy and have entire posts and common plots (i have seen tumblr ficlets/hc's and people discussing this as a common trope for steddie fics on ao3) about how nancy was a horrible person who damaged steve's self esteem and ability to be in a relationship or something from a break up, as if the relationship wasnt mutually harmful and compounded by nancy's whole dead best and possibly only friend thing. and whoops for ships like ronance that isnt allowed either because steve's friend isn't allowed to interact with his ex despite the fact that said friend literally said he was an ass in the s1-2 timeline. all of this making it impossible to find any positive content without it being interrupted for a character who, if i remember correctly, has almost as much screentime as eleven (and eleven at least has popular fan content and other ships that dont somehow loop around to byler/mike). and whats worse is that while canon doesnt have yaoi victimization it does have heteronormative bullshit in which she is forced into a love triangle with the same guys TWO TIMES. she literally cant win so let her win a poll maybe also sorry this is super fucking long <3

Whoooo Nancy

#not poll #propaganda

[doomednarrative]

Its...its the way that Amanda was tested three separate times by John. All three times being ones that could have very well lead to her death. All three times where she either had to watch someone else die or had to do the killing herself in order to ensure her survival, save for the last test where she was supposed to not kill Lynn, but wasn't given much of a choice due to being blackmailed and having the threat of having John's approval and love taken away from her. It's the way that John was so hard on her at every turn, always pushing her despite also building her up, therefore creating more of a dependance between the two of them on Amanda's end and making it hard for her to value herself outside of that. It's the way that Amanda was never involved in a violent life before being forced to kill to save herself from the bear trap, and then falling deeper into it later on as her work with John continued, and eventually coming to regret even living through that trap and thinking it'd have been better if she died. Because ultimately she was punished for just trying to survive and live her life, and by forcing her into violence she's only gotten worse than she was before, even if she once viewed John's actions as saving her.

And then...it's the way that Hoffman's narritive is almost the inverse of that. It's the way that while yes, he was indeed blackmailed into becoming an apprentice, he's the one who initiated the violence first. He did this to himself, unlike Amanda who was chosen and thrust into it. It's the way that he isn't tested until after John's death, and if that test had been done properly by Jill he wouldn't have had to kill anyone to save himself, unlike Amanda who was given the same trap. It's the way that John never punishes him the same way that he does Amanda, and he never tests Hoffman multiple times to see if he's really understood what John's goals are, or if he's following the rules, despite Hoffman absolutely being the one who should have been tested again until he got it right unlike Amanda. It's the fact that "we don't bring personal feelings into these tests" and yet its Clear to the audience who ends up actually enjoying administering them later on, and it's not the girl who struggled with addiction who would ultimately be demonized by larger society, but the cop, who's given ample opportunity to make people's lives worse by way of his job, and who ends up delighting in the violence these games cause.

It's the way that Amanda had every right to question when Hoffman would be tested while they set up Jeff's test, because she'd already done it twice by that time, and she hadn't deserved either of those times. And its the way that Hoffman answers her, saying that shes a junkie who doesnt value her life, while in the next breath showing that he sure as shit doesn't value anyone else's life but his own the way he should.

It's the way that only one of them ever delights in murder and violence, and it's Not the person who was tested again and again and who actually believed in John's ways and code, and who ultimately died for questioning them in her last moments, while the other one got off scott free from that entire incident, being the sole survivor of the whole thing, and ensuring his place as the one to take up the mantle and legacy.

#saw #saw iii #saw meta #amanda young #mark hoffman #kief rambles about saw #i am. in agony over these two and their narritive as apprentices #my meta #my writing

[lettersatdawn]

chiluc hcs.

- diluc lets his hair get braided by childe.

- they flirt with spars and tongues of poison, but when the flames die down and diluc is able to get eased back into it, they are more than okay with soft affirmations and kisses of down

- childe is a tease, diluc doesnt tolerate it 90% of the time

- diluc writes letters to childe. he does not send them. (childe finds them while being nosy and going through dilucs things. diluc doesnt stop him.)

- theres a fine line of things not to cross. they may tease and poke fun and insult (on dilucs end) but they respect boundaries.

- when diluc is having a rough time around his fathers death day, childe tries to be there for comfort.

- wingman kaeya.

- kaeya doesnt trust childe for a long time, but he tries to support diluc in his decisions. that being said, if childe ever hurt diluc, the first person to be knocking on his door to collect his karma wouldnt be diluc. it would be kaeya.

- diluc has trouble sleeping. he always has, ever since he was a child. childe tries his best to talk him to sleep while petting his hair. it works, most of the time.

- in general, childe tries to get diluc to take better care of himself.

- in return, childe tries to take better care of himself.

- “firefly” “fatui.”

- diluc says he hates childe. he does not.

- they actually better each other, somehow. somehow, it works.

- childe wishes they could have a kid together. its too dangerous to, though. it breaks his heart.

- diluc hates being alone.

- childe does send him letters, constantly.

- surprise visits to mondstadt.

- aside from kaeya, venti, rosaria, jean and lisa, no one is 100% certain that theyre together. theres rumors, yes, but “diluc hates fatui.”

- donna asked diluc out while childe was away. diluc was surprised (how he didnt see her crush beats me. apparently hes more blind than her, but then again, how could anyone love him, much less two people?) and turned her down, confirming publicly he was involved with someone. when asked, he simply states “ajax”.

- its talk of the town.

- it tires diluc out to be center of attention.

- diluc is neurodivergent as all hell, but was forced to mask heavily as a kid. either way, he despises spotlight and recognition, but he grits his teeth and bears it unless childe is around.

- childe picks up on how hes feeling almost as well as kaeya can. its sort of a tied skill between them, but they have different ways of fixing the situation.

- childe puts flowers in dilucs hair.

- diluc’s ring is kept on a chain around his neck. the heat of his hands from being a pyro wielder - an exceptionally hot one at that - would end up damaging the metal band if kept in his gloves. keeping it around his neck works just as well, and keeps it from getting too hot and burning through his gloves or warping the metal.

- childe wants diluc to burn his hand into his skin. diluc refuses.

- diluc does not see what his father did to him as bad or damaging. childe is trying to help him realize he can be more than just “the ragnvindr heir” and that he can, in fact, live his own life.

- diluc wishes they can leave their lives, their worries behind. he genuinely wishes to settle down with childe. he knows it to be impossible, though.

- diluc is scared . he is scared of affection , of being vulnerable , of being open . he’s scared that one day , childe will no longer love him.

- childe always assures him otherwise.

#diluc.txt #childe genshin impact #diluc genshin impact #diluc ragnvindr #childe x diluc #chiluc #kaeya alberich #royalty brothers #genshin impact #genshin impact headcanons #chat tags: #except im right #i am hoyoverse #these arent headcanon #just canon #/j #crepus ragnvindr #genshin crepus #crepus is a bad parent

[lindszeppelin]

I am kind of a fan who is on the outside looking in. The relationship he is in with KG is whatever to me. I am just here for him. However I have been in fandoms where I was deeply involved and had my own fanpage too. I have seen the gf of a singer/actor get torn to shreds over being with him/her. Like the jealousy was hot and heavy. With Austin though? I do not think this is it. Everyone I have spoken to who have stated their opinion have giving well thought and solid feedback. It isnt just a bunch of jealous fake fans foaming at the mouth. Despite of me being neutral about this relationship I can see why people see Kaia the way they do. She seems like she doesnt consider his feelings , she is only known more now for being with him. Hell she is known more for being his gf than Cindy's kid. They both do look miserable too. Even people who arent even close to being in the fandom have called it out so it isnt a delusion. I think it is super unfair of shippers who ride them hardcore to say you and other fans aint shit for not supporting them. The only reason some of them ship so hard is for popularity and attention. Its kind like the annoying sibling who does things because theu know it will get your attention and bug you. Being a fan of his shouldnt be a war. I feel bad for Austin. He is talented and it gets overshadowed by his relationship which to me is on the shippers. If they just chill and let people be and stop inserting KG into everything, the fandom wouldnt be what it is

This is a perfectly nuanced and well said message. Shippers that once hated her guts or didn't like her at all all of a sudden turned 180 and started harassing fans that didn't like her. That kind of behavior is not normal. Instead of disliking her on once side of the spectrum they went to the complete opposite side and instead went balls to the wall. You can just be normal about something. It doesn't have to be extremes on either end. I agree with you that the shippers are only going gung-ho about it for attention, for popularity, and to be accepted by everyone else. Those that dare to speak up and voice their opinion otherwise are shunned and bullied, deemed as tinfoil hat conspiracy theorists, which is insane because anyone can see these two have no chemistry and they don't like each other...which isn't a conspiracy lol.

We can have our opinions and im not ever forcing nobody to have one specific viewpoint. Feel what you feel, but don't be a dickhead and try to indoctrinate people into a war AND into feeling one kind of way, otherwise "you're not a real fan and you don't love austin". They can't think nuanced and differentiated, it's all extremes with them. which is suspect. i like to surround myself with people who can think for themselves, stand in their opinions, and also be open minded.

#lindsay's anon asks