#and his moral compass is like the same so u know it was something horrible | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wh6res · 3 years

Text

spectator | jeno

"don't cry, little dove. i'm not even done yet." — ljn

TW mafia au, blood, violence, mentions of prostitution and brothels, mentions of past torture, extreme power imbalance, dumbification, they used a tranquilizer

A/N first half is told in renjun's pov also this is for dino anon hehe thank u for the inspo babes!!

DISC i don't condone anything. this isn't love.

WC 1.4k

renjun was fairly new to the mafia but it didn't take him long to realize the outrageous things they considered are the norms here. one of the first things he noticed is a cute little bunny dressed in scraps that always seemed to tail jeno wherever he went. jeno was his superior, albeit they were the same age, so it sucked that renjun had to use honorifics.

oftentimes he ignores you when jeno stands before him giving orders, or when they pass by each other in the hallways and stop to exchange pleasantries.

as renjun quickly climbed the ranks thanks to his agility and cunning mind, you, unfortunately, remained in the same position—always sitting by jeno's feet like a puppy, a body, a plaything, a whore. there were rumors that the boss gave his executives a chance to pick from the litters before they're shipped off to brothels, kind of like peace offerings in exchange for their compliance.

people said the stoic, muscular young man never really indulged himself in such temporary matters. until probably two years ago, until jeno first laid his eyes on you and decided then and there you were too pretty to become a random whore in the chain of brothels the mafia owned. the petite boy believes maybe it's a disguised blessing on your part, at least you'd only have to deal with one man every night, right?

renjun can only look at you from afar, keeping in mind not to stare too openly nor too intrusively that your owner notices. he's seen the bruises. the purple and black patches of your skin and renjun never gets used to it. his stomach turning at the idea of jeno deliberately marking your skin where the oversized shirt you wear won't be able to cover. the chinese immigrant would be stupid not to notice what that meant—it's jeno's clear sign of dominance, of the severe power imbalance, and not a single man in this building can stop him from doing whatever he wants to you.

renjun managed to piece things together thanks to his naturally observant nature. jeno never punished you for what you did, he punished you because he knows he can't touch his subordinates for something measly such as bumping or staring at his whore. the young mafia executive decides to take it out on you instead, albeit the flawed logic and unfairness of it all—proof that every person in this criminal organization is fucked up in the head.

despite jeno's maltreatment, renjun never heard a single complaint from you nor can he detect a feeling of rebellion out of you. you were so eerily compliant that the chinese can't help but think of what other horrible means jeno did for you to become so broken. renjun tried thinking about it, once, but never again. he can be cruel if he wants to be, but not without purpose. not because he gets a kick out of seeing a face twisted in terror. he wasn't like jeno, who smiled and laghed after blowing someone's brain up in the mafia's torture rooms.

this is why jeno is the only man fit for the job, the reason he became an executive at such a young age—there's no man he can't break for information. renjun doesn't know what jeno does to the poor people in the torture rooms but the piercing screams are enough to decide never to go against his superior.

renjun never thought he'll live the day to hear your screams coming from one of those rooms.

"what?" he does a double-take, eyes wide and unbelieving. "what do you mean she's in there? that's her, right now?"

haechan shrugs, wincing when he hears another scream coming from inside the room. he'll never know why these rooms aren't soundproof, maybe it was a way for jeno to keep his subordinates in line—"hear that? just be grateful that's not you."—you wouldn't want to cross a man who has no moral compass. "yeah. i heard she tried to escape."

renjun doesn't like the cool, amused smirk on haechan's face as he leaned back against the door, looking like everything is okay when it's not. "heard she got like… what, ten feet? give or take—yeah, i think ten feet out the door before jaemin's men tranqed her so much she would have slept for a week."

it was easy for renjun to detach himself, disregard his own set of beliefs and sweep them all under the pretense of "it's just work, nothing personal" but with you, it felt different. he knows you. well, knows of you. it's different, personal even, when he can match a face to those gruesome, ear-shattering screams that wracked through his bones.

he wanted to help you.

renjun wanted to help you.

but no, he didn't want to get shot in the head for insubordination.

jeno manually props you against the wall, cringing at the trail of blood that stains the tiles and pools underneath you. your shirt—rather, jeno's—was soaked through with the crimson liquid, your hair sticking to the side of your head. it feels like you were burning from the inside with every breath you take.

maybe months, years, of compliance made you forgetful. after all, jeno is a man of his word, through and through. he can only threaten you so much until he snaps. maybe he deemed the swift punishments and his harsh words insufficient. but who were you kidding? with the stunt you pulled… fuck, why did you even think of making a run for it? you should've known you won't even make it across the street! stupid. stupid. stupid.

you swore never to make him angry enough to bring you back down here in the torture chambers—this is his domain, and you shivered in fear with every fleeting thought you have about what he does behind those cement walls.

the first time jeno took you down here had been granted by the boss himself (see, the man running the mafia has favorites). jeno's men held you by the arms and made you watch as he killed a poor guy with his bare hands. slowly, excruciatingly, bleeding out because of the wounds jeno inflicted with his fists alone.

the second time was because of your first escape attempt. ah, you had been so energetic back then. always talking back, snarling and cursing him out. after that second time, you've become more compliant and have thoroughly embodied whatever sick fantasy jeno had of you. his broken doll, unseeing, unthinking, who breathes and lives only because he wanted her to.

you've heard him countless times say how much he missed that energetic personality you had. but only because you knew at least then he'd think the cruel punishments are justified.

oftentimes, he'll say it when you two are alone, in his room at headquarters, too disgustingly intimate like lovers and not a whore and her owner. his cold lips leavees a sweet trail on your neck, blood-stained hands soiling your skin underneath the dirty shirt, before finally slotting himself next to you as the cot creaks with the extra weight. he reeked of sweat and metallic and his eyes hazy from that post-bloodlust high.

jeno's boots squelch when he steps closer. never crouching, he wanted you to feel that severe power imbalance between the two of you.

"i won't ask you to apologize. not when i know you don't mean it."

you don't bother to reply. not because you don't want to but because you can't, voice utterly hoarse and scratchy from screaming while jeno breaks and tears you down as if he doesn't whisper the words i love you at night. you're his lover only when he needs you to be. sad, that he rarely felt the need of a lover and more so needed a cunny to fuck.

finally, he crouches. slow and never breaking eye contact. he raises a hand to push a strand of hair away from your face probably. you flinch. he doesn't care. "jeno, please don't touch me." but he touches you anyway.

you feel the callouses in his palms as he caresses your face. the calm before the storm. the deep inhale before the plunge. jeno grabs your chin and tilts your head up, a serene smile ghosting his lips. he looked at peace. satisfied. and you have never been more scared of him than you ever did in the last four years.

"don't cry, little dove. i'm not even done yet."

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samarecharm · 3 years

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😒🚪💭 for Morgana?

😒 Disgust

A Serious Answer is that Morgana loathes fake people; people who arent upfront with how they feel and how they act makes the fur on his back stand up. Its RUDE! Its deceiving! How can you lie to someones face! Morgana has a mildly swinging moral compass; he understands WHY someone would Have to fake niceties to achieve an end goal, and later, when observing Akira, understands that there are people who are Afraid of the consequences of coming off as anything resembling their true nature. But he can sniff out someone performing bc theyre needlessly cruel and someone performing bc they feel like they Have to. Its the main reason he gets Bad Vibes about Goro when they first meet; NOW they have a solid okay relationship (‘by god i WILL knock down these walls; u WILL show me respect!!’) but at jump, Morgana was not feeling the awful energy Goro was putting out.

A cute answer tho is that he hates PDAs when it doesnt include him. So unfortunatey he suffers from Youngest Sibling Disorder; kisses are HORRIBLE unless they are from Cute Ladies and Akira. Hugs are ALSO horrible unless theyre from Cute Ladies and Akira. The amount of times hes seen Akira or Ann kiss another thief on the cheek is just UNACCEPTABLE its AWFUL and UNNECESSARY and his poor Little Brother eyes are burning in their sockets.

🚪Up All Night

Theres a 50/50 shot of Morgana going to sleep at the same time Akira does. He spends alot of his time w Akira at school simply asleep during classes, and sleeping in the bag as they go home, which means Morgana is up all night doing cat things. MOST nights, hes simply patrolling the area; he is Compelled to make sure his space is Safe. After Futaba joins the group, he makes it a habit of checkin in on her and keeping her company because he Knows she is Also up all night keeping herself busy.

Other nights, hes up keeping Akira company. Akira is a surprisingly heavy sleeper; quick to fall to sleep and difficult to rouse. But over time he notices that Akira has more and more issues with sleeping soundly; he mumbles in his sleep and weakly grabs and pushes at imaginary threats. His face is screwed up in discontent; troubled with Something plaguing his dreams. There are some worrying days where Akira will have his eyes open staring at nothing in particular, yet refusing to respond to Morgana when spoken to. So for all of these nights, instead of patrolling, he stays with Akira, right on his chest or right beside his head. Purring or kneading or what have you; making himself Present enough that he makes it through the thick fog of sleep to quell whatever is agitating him. It LITERALLY works everytime, and Morgana has no idea as to Why it works everytime, but Akira wakes up gently petting Morgana, a hard to read expression on his face.

💭Daydream

He doesnt daydream hes got shit to do ! Kitty things. Thief things. Ann things. Hes a very busy man and cat; if not him, who ELSE will take up the mantle of being Incredibly Handsome and Incredibly Smart? But he does have his moments. Akiras studying, or making tools on his own, and he catches glimpses of Morgana staring at nothing in particular. Its not worrying; its never worrying, it just makes him think. Whats going on in that kitty brain...to which Morgana will squawk indignantly; how rude! A kitty brain… but he is Thinkin. About a room with bars, deep blue hues and rattling chains; a creature so much larger than him; so overwhelmingly Massive speaking in tones and Words he doesnt understand. He dreams of the metaverse everyday, but he daydreams about creation. And with every successful infiltration and every new floor discovered, the lights and sounds and echoes of mementos gets clearer and clearer.

#persona 5 #p5 morgana #long post #i dont write enough about morgana for how much im lov him 🥺💖

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curiosity-killed · 3 years

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Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Aw of course I don’t mind! Though I feel like my answer is going to be a disaster bc I love these casts so so much aha let’s see:

✨ SPOILERS AHEAD ✨

MDZS/CQL

1. Wei Wuxian

Ah so I feel like this is obvious based on the sheer quantity of things I produce and the effort I put into hurting him 😅 but yeah! I love how much of a classical tragic hero he is and I love how much love he has and how that gets twisted around and shaped into a collar of spikes around his own neck. I saw gif sets of wwx before I ever knew about CQL and my reaction was “fuck. I’m going to love him” and I do! And I love that he does learn from his past and I love most of all that he learns to accept the love he is given and is able to make a happy ending in a place of being loved and held in respect and appreciation

2. Wen Qing

On the other hand, I did not expect to be like “mine now” with Wen Qing. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy immortal look got me but it wasn’t really till I started writing fic that I was like ohhhhh Oh Boy. Wen Qing is brilliant and ruthless, fiercely loving and aloof and cold. I love that she gets the lose-lose challenge of balancing what is right for her family vs what is right in the world, what she owes to her sect and what she owes to individuals. The golden core transfer is my favorite dubious science experiment in p much all media I’ve consumed. She gets to be so human—prickly and tough and also achingly gentle and afraid and putting on a tough face and sometimes still crying. “I’m sorry and thank you” ! Im!!

3. Jiang Yanli

The first fic I wrote for this fandom was literally “Jiang Yanli died no she didn’t” lmao I do feel like I underserve Jiang Yanli in that I often fall prey to using her to further the complexity that the male characters are permitted while denying her the chance to be given the same space for development and breath — something to work on! But in that, I really genuinely love how tightly she binds herself to her family and how she tries so hard to be what others need her to be—and then she does make a choice for herself and for a single moment at least, she gets to be loved and to be happy and to have this, a husband and a son and a place, for herself. And terribly I love how much she permeates the story still after death. She is the unspoken voice, the face turned from the camera but always still present, carried in the hearts and names and memories of the ones left behind

She deserved better but—I am weak for the tragedy of it all

4. Jiang Cheng

Another surprise (tho hardly surprising in hindsight): Jiang Cheng is just...horribly understandable. He makes terrible choices and his greatest heroism is undone by a choice made for him or, in the case of “killing the Yiling Laozu” is a lie. He is such a youngest sibling who doesn’t want to be the youngest until all at once, he’s the one in charge and he doesn’t want it at all. He is full of anger and hurt and so much love he doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t want it anymore, has no place to put all of its terrible, overwhelming flood.

5. Lan Wangji

I almost didn’t put Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng on here and then I realized that this is sort of a list of characters I’m pickiest about in fic and...yeah. I think what I love best about Lan Wangji is his journey of grief and healing and through that, his decision to step into world. Where Wei Wuxian’s decision to travel and be removed from the cultivation world (in varying degrees depending on your headcanon preference lol) is really, really important to me, Lan Wangji’s decision to go from being an isolated lone agent working apart from the systems of the world to being involved and invested in changing those systems and working to make them better is also really important to me. I’ve talked before about how relatable Lan Wangji is to me (esp with regards to our interaction with the outer world) and there is something deeply hopeful and comforting about post-timeskip Lan Wangji being in his like mid-/late-30s and still making decisions and growing and changing and choosing to invest himself in the world and the future

yeah. i have thoughts here that I don’t really have the maturity, life experience, or articulation to put into words but Lan Zhan Good basically

TGCF

1. Xie Lian

suuuurpriiiiise!! Yeah honestly mxtx’s mains in TGCF and MDZS really just hit all my buttons basically. What appeals to me most of all about Xie Lian is, fittingly, how he is humanity taken to extremes. His capacity for incredible kindness and compassion is equaled with his capacity for cruelness and ruthlessness. His heaven-shaking highs are matched with calamitous lows. He is the hyperbolic of what it is to be human—and he is also the small moments, the wildflowers and the maple leaves and the mundane chores and the comfort of whispered conversations late into the night. I could quite literally go on for pages about what I love about Xie Lian but I am not Hua Cheng and can restrain myself LMAO

2. Hua Cheng

of all the characters on these lists, Hua Cheng is the one I’m pickiest about tbh! When I say I love him for similar reasons as Xie Lian I don’t actually mean this as being similarities between the two but the fact that both of them so richly convey mxtx’s points about the nature of humanity and what it is to be human. Hua Cheng is both the boldest and most arrogant of all and also the most vulnerable, the one who shies away from the truth because he’s braced for it to hurt and isn’t sure he can take it. He is gory blood rain and an umbrella to shelter a fragile bloom; he is a blade whose wounds only heal if he permits it and he is a sacrifice that he brushes aside as a fit of madness. *pats his head* this boy can fit SO MUCH inside him that he refuses to acknowledge

3. Jun Wu

Definitely my favorite antagonist in recent reading. I was doubtful of him from the start (something something issues with authority something something probably should talk to my theoretical future therapist shhh) but the unfolding of his reveal was so delightfully painful and exquisite that I was like “YES!!!” reading all of it. About the epitome of a satisfying plot twist imo. But about the character himself, I love how he parallels so many — Xie Lian in his rise and fall, his glory and disgrace; Hua Cheng in his fixation and ruthlessness; He Xuan in losing himself to the plot and not knowing how to move forward. I love that he feels beyond human in a way the others don’t—he’s so old and has gone through so much and he doesn’t feel things the way humans do anymore, doesn’t remember right how love squeezes the heart or how hate can exist without acting on it. I love that he thinks he knows how to control everyone and that it’s such mundane things that fool him: Xie Lian’s absurd stubbornness, Hua Cheng’s foolish faith, Yin Yu’s...emotional maturity??? Not Sure how to verbalize that one. But in the end, he is defeated by both the humanity of others and by his own—he’s so tired. He’s exhausted in a way that gods and ghosts aren’t meant to be. He is, under the armor and the masks, the curses and the power, human—benevolent and cruel, evil and good.

4. He Xuan

I love my fish man! No but really I love how He Xuan is so fixed on his one goal that he refuses to acknowledge anything else in his (after)life—which doesn’t make it go away. I love that he is left unmoored, purposeless through the very act of completing that which gives him purpose. I love his long con and the ways he clings to himself but loses himself not in the act but in the telling himself it’s an act. I love that he tries to be a moral man and then becomes a ghost king, a calamity. His reveal is also terribly badass and I do love his bone fish wholly unironically. Like I’m not going to get a He Xuan tattoo (for one thing I’ve been meaning to get a tattoo for 5 years and still haven’t gotten around to it) but also. B o n e f i s h

5. Mu Qing

Of course! The Jiang Cheng of tgcf lol Mu Qing (which my phone desperately wants to autocorrect to my Qing) is so...gah he’s such a mess! And he so fully commits to the belief that no one will ever see and understand him as he is but will always view them through their own convictions about him and his actions — which is simultaneously heartbreakingly lonely and also. Sir You Are a Clown. I genuinely think he’s owed apologies from both Feng Xin and Xie Lian for their treatment and assumptions of him and think that he would be HORRIBLY offended at the thought (while secretly touched? But like secretly even to himself). He will never explain himself and will just clam up tighter the more people accuse him and it’s such a self-sabotaging behavior and also so horribly relatable. I love u sir, you’re a disaster

SVSS I have not read but I do really like the moshang art 😂

#long post #asked & answered #lol sorry this is so long and incoherent #the truth is that I really love these stories and their casts #and I think it’s v hard to extricate the characters from the cast #because they are so deftly and beautifully interwoven #but here are the characters I think are my favorites lol #loosely in order #tgcf spoilers #also this is why I prefer tgcf to mdzs tbh?#jgy is intellectually interesting to me and a good antagonist #but not personally compelling in the way jw is

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schiste-argileux · 4 years

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Idw Prowl is an evil SOB (took him two years to send the Wreckers to Garrus-9 and help Maxy (who was protecting all the war crimes the Bots did), put Maxy’s torturer and a war criminal on board the Lost Light cuz why not, sent Pharma to Delphi knowing it was DJD territory)

Prowl... Prowl’s creation and competence in his area of work is astounding. He is brilliant, creative, and defiantly apathetic of this world. But, he is very human in his own way. IDW Prowl is selfish, yet not. He is a unique in that aspect because most people make decisions like his for the sole reason of benefiting themselves. But Prowl’s sole reason of existing is to create PEACE.

Peace. Peace can only be done when people are complacent, happy, and satisfied. When things are stationary. Stable.

But life is never stable. Elements desire to form bonds, yet are almost always leaning towards to instability... Prowl’s form of PEACE is a world where there is no fighting. But everything sentient requires to fulfill its desires. As long as there is desire, people will fight.

A world of PEACE would be a world of full control, there are no surprises, no change. Safety, routines, and constants. No creativity, no development... nothing. stagnant.

But I must admire Prowl’s tenacity and dedication to this world!

He sacrifices everything for the sake of the directive, preserve cybertron, PEACE. He sacrifices his morals (Robot Gets Bullied By a Human), his dignity (Recent News, Cop Accepts Orgy For The Means of Establishing Peace, his body (Recent News, Cop gets Molested by A Spider for The Autobot Cause), and of course, thousands of lives (Not Recent News). :D Prowl respects and understands that there will always be chaos and instability, and he is so very flexible around it all! He literally can maximize everything and anything he has. He is the embodiment of consequentialism with a lil dash of politics. I wish my group project members were 1% as productive as him! Prowl tries to put everything black and white, and he gets upset when things get far more tricky, and wants to get everything in control so people can stay safe and remain in peace and not fight! And that’s a respectable goal! Control can be good, it means one understands and is able to retain themselves and the thing they are controlling. But Prowl doesn’t want to accept that there are things out of his control. And Prowl likes to think he’s justified when he controls the uncontrollable.

I mean, yeah, if he didn’t do what he did, the autobots would have been six feet under A LOT EARLIER. Optimus is not a good leader, preserving organic life over his own soldiers? Psh. Look at Spike, he’s got valid points and can I understand why he left the ‘bots. Prowl’s probably thinking everyday, DAMN, OP, WHY R U SO DUMB. LISTEN WE NEED TO FEED OUR SOLDIERS AND PRIORITIZE OUR SPECIES LIVES INSTEAD OF THIS FUCKING CARBON BASED CIRCLE. HELLO??? And literally Prowl could have been like I’m gonna get ya assassinated so I CAN HAVE IT MY WAY. But Prowl was BORN for the RULES. To follow, to MAKE PEACE. Killing the prime figurehead is against that, even if it would make his life way easier! (hence, not that selfish and also sad that your life is the rules. That’s a short leash, but he makes due)

Honestly I feel bad for Prowl. Must suck to be so big brain that everyone hates you when you say the truths (but also you could learn some more tricks from Jazz to be nicer and hide the truth, but that’s scary because a nicer prowl means more people he can trick and use. Thanks Prowl for being so straightforward! Now people can avoid you easier). He's so straightforward about things that need to be done, he’s in constant denial about the grey area of life!

That’s why when Spike slapped Prowl with reality slaps, Prowl lost some of his shit. Remember, nearly everyone had the edgy depressed time in their teens or young adult years where you realize the world is truly unfair and nothing is black and white? Yeah. Slap that on a 6+ million year old robot with a battle computer and is capable of big brain CPU-age, and was literally built for the sole purpose of enforcing rules and making peace? And no one really cared about Prowl enough to understand him and his background. So Prowl goes through his angst moment alone with his huge titties, frustrated. THIS. IS. WHY. YOU. COMMUNICATE. YA DINGUS.

Prowl doesn’t become a school shooter like Pharma cuz hes got bigger brain and a lot more power and control over himself, but he literally becomes Shadow The Hedgehog (Even if the world’s against me I’ll fight like I’ve always have). HE’S GONE ROGUE. MA’AM, SIR, THE FUCKING OREO COOKIE HAS TRANSFORMED AND ROLLED OUT. like. OP was the one thing holding prowl back, which was good! But now prowl’s on the roll and bumblebee is too nice and passive to hold him back. + the bombshell brainwash? feels so bad. being prowl sucks. because Prowl is a necessary evil.

At least he’s wonderfully blunt about his goal to create a peaceful cybertron, which makes it easier if you want to avoid him or smth. meanwhile you have fake people IRL that smile their way through and then slit your throat and you won’t even know it was them (hey jazz, no offense, but that’s what spec ops does). Fakers are the scariest enemy, but Prowl is still a threat, just not as big as a someone who fluffs you up on a balloon and then pops it. Prowl would just be like, hey, you’re really useful, come over here in my white van i wanna show you something and then maybe you get destroyed. But hey! You were the one with the highest chance of surviving compared to other people! Isn’t that great? You’re so skilled WOW. (Prowl gets punched. Again!) Prowl represents the necessary evil in society. We WILL ALWAYS HAVE EVIL people in this world. But Prowl is a far better evil than people who do evil for their own selfish reasons. It’s like how we have law enforcers and politicians . It’s basically giving them legal rights to do illegal things (lmao). BUT we need them regardless. We need those people to get their hands dirty, possibly killed, so that people can live in innocence and peace.

I don’t think Prowl ever realized that he was a necessary evil, and when Spike showed him that, he was bitter. But he accepted it. Which I respect because most people can’t be bothered to understand themselves and just throw themselves in denial, and point fingers for their flaws. Prowl sucks up and understands who he is, and he makes the best of it to achieve his goal. I mean, honestly? Prowl is probably a miracle worker. Not in a Ratchet sense. But look at the way modern governments run, nothing gets done, everything is stalled because no one has the guts to make sacrifices. Prowl would have gotten a shit ton of things done, man, and take quick efficient action. Even if he sacrifices many things for it. (Warning. I do not condone any taking of lives, NO ONE has the right to judge whenever a person should live or die.) Prowl reminds me of 秦始皇 (Qin Shi Huang), the king who unified China and sacrificed millions to make the Great Wall, canals, and road systems that last to this day. If it wasn’t for these accomplishments, China wouldn’t have been what it is today. Was it a good thing? For the future residents of China? Hell yeah. But the costs? Those are sins that can never be erased, and they are horrible and shouldn't be done ever again. Was it necessary? Perhaps. But that’s another discussion. Is Prowl evil? Depends on your definition of evil. Perhaps he’s justified, perhaps in his world, he’ll go down as the Qin Shi Huang of the Cybertronians. Regardless, Prowl like Pharma, is an EXCELLENT example to study on public ethics, and administrative officials should analyze him and learn from his mistakes and sins. I think Prowl is not evil in a sense that he wishes to harm others, but evil in a sense of his apathy. Prowl is a necessary component to a functional society (someone to plot, to use people, to enforce rules even if some are sacrificed, someone who can get their hands dirty). He lives a terrible and sad fate, and I do not wish ANYONE to live a life like Prowl’s or look up to Prowl. Yes, he’s so clever and brilliant, but that kind of power will make you the loneliest person on Earth.

Thanks Prowl for taking the entire load of sin on your shoulders! Big MVP! You get nothing from the world except hate and contempt. I would go on about him more but I have IRL stuff to do. I love Prowl as an example to tell people that MODERATION. COMMUNICATION. AND COMPASSION are important factors to have a healthy and good mental state. Prowl is the perfect example of someone who doesn’t want to empathize (haha so many people are like this today), who doesn’t want to try to use more braincells and friends help to make better plans that are more moderate and not extreme, and who doesn’t want to talk to anyone thinking its a waste of time or have difficulty explaining things. BUT I LOVE G1 PROWL because he has far more patience and manners, and doesn’t take a darker, route for his goals. awhohdohd he’s baby,,, i wish all cops had patience and manners and in general open-minded yet cautious enough not to be taken advantage of,,,, perhaps then we wouldn’t have so much polarization and fighting with authority in this world....

uwuwwuwuwuw they did prowl so dirty in idw WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ;____; Again, you are welcome to disagree or agree! I wrote this really quickly so I’m sure there will be points that could be clarified or edited. Prowl’s really complicated and I do not like to talk about current IRL problems, but Prowl represents a lot of problems in society. And I think it’s critical if we try to look at both perspectives to get an understanding on WHY people do these things, and is there a solution to AVOID making those same mistakes? There’s a couple of controversial things in this short essay I wrote, esp. about cops IRL. So feel free to have at it! Or ignore it! Whichever is more comfortable for you! Thanks for coming to my ted talk! Again, Prowl is a bad influence and a sorrowful life to live. please do not try to be like prowl. xD I won’t intrude on you if you do, because you have a right to live the life you want as long as you’re not hurting other people’s interests and wellbeing!

#prowl #transformers #idw #asks #omfg #prowl is so horrible to write about #ugh #oof #idw prowl is the bane of my existence #i love g1 prowl

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ananas-pineapple-thing · 4 years

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Okay I barely remembering reading the series and could only really tell you the plot of the first two what did marissa do?

Hi!! I have a LOT of problems with Marissa, the way she was written, and things that are technically Angie’s Bad World Building but reflect on the character in a very unsavory way— so this might be long because I think it’s hard to understand without the full picture. I’m also gonna talk mostly about the second series (TodHunter Moon) so if you haven’t read that and are planning to, proceed with caution!!

MARISSA IN SEPTIMUS HEAP

Firstly, i loved Marissa in the first series! She was resourceful, cunning, and knew what she wanted. She was fun to read about. Quick rundown of her role in the first series from my (bad) memory: Marissa is introduced in Flyte as one of the Wendron Witches and the girl that Jo-Jo Heap has a crush on; she appears again briefly in Queste but doesn’t really do much; she again makes an appearance in Darke and reveals that she has left the Wendrons to join the Port Witch Coven (the members of whom have trapped Jenna), and then (i think???) curses Jenna to prevent her from leaving. Jenna curses her back to also keep her from moving, Then Marissa herself is in danger of being cursed by another witch, so she and Jenna strike a deal that if Marissa helps Jenna escape, Jenna will unfreeze her. Marissa helps her escape by kissing her, which turns her into a witch and allows her to leave.

This chapter is the biggest establisher of her character and also her wonky moral compass. even though she obviously helped Jenna only for her own gain, her character was written in a way that we appreciated the selfish side of her!! it was fun to read about her in that situation, because she got what was coming to her and ended up sort of befriending Jenna by the end. Then in Fyre I’m not sure what she did besides flirt with Beetle and start working at the same shop as Jo-Jo lol.

MOVING ONTO THE SECOND SERIES:

Marissa’s big role is in the last book in the trilogy, but first i’m going to set the stage with some details from the second book. It’ll make sense in a minute.THM expands outside of Europe and touches on a couple of places, including (according to a map on the first page) somewhere in the south of Africa. For reasons unknown, Angie Sage decided that the people living here are Arab, which is a little racist because the Middle East is Not in South Africa, but it’s whatever. She also gives these people Egyptian culture (or what white people who read a book on Egypt when they were seven think Egyptian culture is), which again, is odd but whatever. the illustrator draws these characters with dark skin— the only accurate thing about them being in /South Africa/. this will all be relevant in a second.

back to THM!! in this Arab Egyptian South African society- there is a place called the Red City. in the red city lives their Queen, who is dark skinned and Arab— so obviously she’s a HUGE tyrant!! I’m talking about a dictatoring-chopping off people’s heads-people in the streets cowering at her name-first resort is to murder-tyrant!!! WHAT A HORRIBLE SAVAGE LEADER!! brown and Black people are unfit to rule :-) all her useless brown subjects are too stupid and useless to stage a riot or chop off HER head (which would be easy because she’s established as an idiot in the last book. because brown and Black people are also stupid :-) ) so they just live in fear of her.

I want to stress that this is because they are Arab. because they are dark skinned. fun book!!

ONTO MARISSA AND HER ROLE REGARDING THE LAST BOOK AND THE SETTING OF THE SECOND:

Marissa’s traits that made her a fun character in the first series were brought into a ugly light in the second. unlike in the first series, however, she doesn’t face repercussions for her actions and therefore does not either learn from them or get her deserved comeuppance.

The last book in the trilogy is Starchaser, which I have a foggy memory of. I’ll do my best to explain Marissa’s actions in it— I’ll break it up into three parts for ease.

PART 1: MARISSA GOES SHOPPING

Marissa works for an evil sorcerer dude who wants to take over the wizard tower. How she came to work for him is beyond me, but either way he sends to buy something from some shady lady. The “something” is a bunch of little black beads that, if you say the incantation on the bag, turn into these evil beings called Kraaken who straight up kill Wizards. Marissa likes the sounds of this because she also wants to own the wizard tower! She buys the bag and keeps it for herself, and the buys a spell that will give evil sorcerer dude a terrible headache (I feel u evil sorcerer dude) to keep him distracted. Marissa then makes her way back to the castle, ready to put her plan in action.

PART 2: MARISSA AND JO-JO

Marissa and Jo-Jo have this weird relationship thing going on. Jo-Jo is totally in love with her and Marissa is just kind of there. She treats Jo-Jo rudely and take advantage of the fact that he’s in love with her, and Jo-Jo is aware of this but it only makes him want her attention more. Despite this, we get a couple of hints that Marissa cares about him more than other people, which isn’t a lot.Marissa is having a party!! Jo-Jo gives her a charm as a gift. It was to control people and make them do as you say for a certain amount of time or something similar. I can’t recall! More on this later.

Later, the Kraaken from Marissa’s bag get activated somehow. They almost kill Jo-Jo, because Jo-Jo is a wizard!! let that sink in: Jo-Jo is the one person we know she cares about and she bought evil beings that are made to kill him and his family and other people like him. She knows that this happened and shows no regret.

Jo-Jo ends up getting rid of the Kraaken in a heroic feat, so (simplifying events a LOT here, since this is all actually a subplot) Marissa decides she wants the Palace instead!! which is owned by the Queen Jenna, who is also Jo-Jo’s little sister. Using the charm Jo-Jo gave her, Marissa tricks Jenna into giving up her circlet (crown, basically) and ownership of the Palace. she had NO qualms about deceiving someone Jo-Jo cares about.

and then (i have NO memory of how this happened) the Queen of the Red City shows up. Marissa tricks her into giving up her crown and palace. she gives the circlet back to Jenna, only because she “has something better”.

All of this was very frustrating to read and I don’t think I was alone in wanting her to get some sort of comeuppance before the book ended.

PART 3: THE ENDING

I don’t know what the heck happened to the Red City’s Queen, but she is somehow removed entirely from the equation. Marissa, who has evaded jail time i guess (do they have a jail???), has the Crown.

obviously the only solution is for her to colonize the Red City!!! now this part is technically on Angie’s world building but it adds another layer of Awful to Marissa. She, a white women, walks into this city and becomes it’s Queen, saving the black and brown subjects from their horrible blood thirsty ruler. Marissa is also objectively a bad person who would make a bad ruler, but this book doesn’t care because it’s a bunch of savages that she’ll be ruling!!! and she’s also at least better than their savage Queen!!!! this screams white savior.

AND THEN, Marissa asks Jo-Jo, who she has been horrible and manipulative to the entire book and who she also indirectly almost killed, to come with her to the Red City and live there.

Jo-Jo, who is still wrapped around her finger in this toxic relationship, says yes.LET THAT SINK IN: Marissa spent the entire book being an awful person and an awful girlfriend. she deserves a sucker punch to the face at the very least.She gets a kingdom and gets to keep her boyfriend. she gets everything she wanted, her happy ever after, and not once does the book suggest we should be anything but satisfied with this.

IN CONCLUSION

Marissa could have been a villain and a well written character. a well written Villain is fun to read about, even if you don’t agree with them. However, Marissa was written poorly and frustratingly. most villains are acknowledged as being in the wrong, and the last book in their series certainly doesn’t end with them being rewarded for whatever they did. Despite Angie obviously wanting us to root for her, Marissa never showed a hint of guilt for whatever stunts she pulled. She was selfish. And her ending didn’t reflect her actions at all, which was extremely unsatisfying.

Her character arc, for a main secondary character, was very badly written. She never learned a thing. Also, Jo-Jo’s own state is ignored and he ends up staying in the toxic relationship and /living/ with her. It’s a total train wreck!!

and that’s why I personally didn’t like her!! hopefully I explained this well, and didn’t ramble too much!! If i was confusing, feel free to shoot me another ask!!

#asks #septimus heap #sorry for putting negativity in the tag!!#i just think this is an interesting discussion to be had #and if anyone thinks im being harsh #i would love to hear your views!!

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trcublesomes · 4 years

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🔥🔥 –– have you seen [ MAXINE “MAX” DUVAL ] since the storm? some say they look like [ bridget satterlee ] but they’re [ 21 ] & go by [ THE PHOENIX ]. [ she ] lived in halloway for [ 21 years ] . before the town vanished they were studying [ mechanical engineering ] and lived at [ THE DORMS ]. most people knew the [ CISFEMALE ] as [ sharp-witted ] but i’ve heard they can also be [ - BRAZEN ]. for some reason, they feel [ relieved ] about the town’s disappearance. ( doofus, 23 (for like 2 more weeks ew), she/her, cst (the c stands for corn) ) –––––

–––– local idiot admin is back and she has a new child on the rise . pls do not call her maxine as she will not hesitate to clap back , and though she is cute and kinda little do not underestimate !! we have a true chaotic good on our hands who really just had the odds stacked against her quite a bit growing up but that is a-okay . ‘ i’ll read your rules before i break them ’ kinda bitch . ‘ act before thinking ’ kinda bitch . ‘ lead with your heart not your head ’ kinda bitch . ‘ good instincts but terrible table manners ’ kinda bitch . ANYWAY . . . you’ll see . carry on !! this intro is much lazier than my other one akdjfhas so bear w me

max was born and raised in halloway to the ‘never gonna get out of this place’ sorta people. only her mother did, shortly after she was born, in the middle of the night with no warning and no telling. of where she might go, leaving her with her father. woof.

her old man really tried. he was a good dad, but the man’s moral compass was all sorts of out of whack. he spent as much time as possible with max and took as good of care of her as possible but like honestly?? having a kid is EXPENSIVE. being alive is expensive, and the straight and narrow honest path doesn’t always get you what you need.

he ultimately fell back into old habits which meant he spent a lot of time in the city boosting cars only to bring them back to halloway to sell for parts or modify for street racing and upselling. this was a business he ran under the table at an autoshop in town that the duval family started decades prior.

max never really knew this was going on because he kept it very much separate from her. they spent a lot of time working in their garage at home together on his old beater truck and a couple of other junkers that came in through the years, but she never visited the autoshop past sundown. just figured dad was a mechanic by day and a bit dependent on alcohol most nights.

when she was around fifteen, though, a job went horribly wrong and put her father away for life. thus began max’s time in the system, three years and three different foster homes in and around the halloway area... which had her consistently frustrated because she A: knew being adopted wouldn’t happen since she was 15?? and B: had pretty much been taking care of herself her whole life so sticking her in a house seemed stupid.

duval’s autoshop was bought by a friend of her father’s who was a friend no more after the ordeal, and renamed. she got a job there when she was old enough, first running the front desk, then working under the hood. she’s a hands-on learner and caught on to anything her father didn’t teach her very quickly.

even though she was a hard worker and happily minded her own gd business... she’s her father’s daughter, and trouble always seemed to find her. sometimes it was her fault— because she’s got a temper and a knack for being fussy under heavy authority—, other times it was the preconceived judgements attached to her last name. “trouble’s in her dna” sort of thing.

18 rolls around and she’s made.... decent enough grades to get into a few schools with scholarships, but she opts to defer in order to work for a year and save up. lives out of her car for a little bit, couch surfs every now and then, stays with some very gracious hosts, and works her ass off until she’s able to go to school for mechanical engineering which is great!!!

but because she’s still in halloway, hat last name follows her, and a lot of local students kinda know who she is. know she's a bit sharp, a bit rough around the edges, from an icky background. but she did her best and kinda loved being able to actually work in labs and have friends and come back to the same dorm every now and again, even if she didn't have anywhere to go over holiday break. she was doing well fOR ONCE!!!

then the storm happened bc no one in halloway is ever allowed to be happy

it’s every man for themselves, last names and reputations be damned at first so despite initial panic she’s.. relieved, to say the least.

because her grey morality is no longer such a bad thing!! probably reveled in it for a while, hotwiring cars, picking locks, maybe took a bat to the window of an old foster home. then when she realized how serious the situation was ... she kinda ... started to promise herself that she wouldn't be the villain of this story!!!

and now?? well... like everyone else she’s just trying to survive, just trying to figure her shit out, and still takes no shit bc she is useful in this world and she will be damned if u make her feel like she’s not!!

P E R S O N A L I T Y

she may not be able to read jane austen in her free time at the speed of light, but max is sharp. she’s intuitive and knows how to take care of herself when the going gets rough. she’s quick to think on her feet and 110% a tactile learner as in... throw her into the fire and she’ll learn on the job. it’s why she’s so good with her hands and why she went into mechanical engineering.

she’s got... a lot of anger quietly bubbling under the surface bc she’s been dealt a shitty hand. but with no family, whose there to be mad at?? so she probably drinks more than she should... like father like daughter!!! because alcohol is cheaper than therapy my friends

a lil rambunctious, a lil rough around the edges. bold and a lil too fearless... never backs down from a dare even if she knows it’s a stupid one.

does not give up on herself and hates being underestimated. that said, she does have a tendency to give up on others quickly. she’s been let down a lot, and i mean, if you see a pattern and have no reason to believe someone’s going break it...

VERY loyal to the people she loves. she’d do anything for them, ethically questionable favors included, but these people are few and far between bc yikes! it’s hard to really get to know her

nice until you give her even the slightest reason not to be, and not much for second chances

looks like a cinnamon roll, could probably kill you type shit

chaotic good “i read the rules before i break them” type shit

fundamentally good

there’s a.... soft undertone to her... it’s there. it’s just rare, and it takes the right people to bring it out of her.

likes to take things apart and put them back together to see how they’re made aksdjf

also,........ has a lowkey love affair with music. she picked up guitar about a decade ago and often plays to relax herself. she’s got pretty voice and isn’t bad at the strumming game bUT YA KNOW it’s not something she ever wanted to do anything with. u wanna know what she sounds like??? of course i’ll show you even though you didn’t ask!! here ya go

she does not mind the disappearance because!! she has no one to go back to anyway. it also kinda gave her a clean slate. she’s useful here more than she is notorious. the playing field is more even. and like... the girl IS useful so !!! she’s better off here than back ‘home’, in her opinion

lil bit of selina kyle... lil bit of season 2 nancy wheeler... lil bit of raven reyes

OK THIS TURNED OUT MORE OBNOXIOUS THAN PLANNED

i’m gonna spam the dash now aksdjfh but smash the like and i’ll come to you and we can plot w max (and esme since i suck and haven’t done that either)

#this. is UGLYASDLKFA #hallowayintro #nakdjf

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fart-gate · 4 years

Text

SG1

Season 4 episode 2

"THE OTHER SIDE"

Notes by me

- Jack in a leather jacket ❤

- "didnt I order you to get a life?"

- good to know sam and Daniel are so obsessed with their work that they would stay all night. I wish I could find a job I love like that

- "someone trying to contact US , how often does that happen?" Point Daniel

- "the stargate is a portal to our ancestors" you right! Second planet to guess that correctly

- OOF they didnt know they were nice and kept the iris closed and now they have to scrape 3 people off the back with a spatula

- when they finally get in contact with them and they have to apologize for killing 3 of their people like bugs on a windshield

- how is he able to send visual?

- "the first time the descendents pf earth actually called home"

- daniel: I have prepared a 35 minute bullet point presentation explaining why you should give us permission to help them

Hammond: permission granted

Daniel: POINT NUMBER ONE- wait what

- wonder what kind of food they always give ppl whenever they trade with planets. My best guess? Pop tarts

- if I was on an sg team to give ppl food I would give them gummy worms bc I like gummy worms

- OF COURSE they are always looking for new weapons. Who cares about helping ppl! Do they have guns. Typical government

- this Dr lady legit just pushed a make up brush into his neck and hes fine

- Jack and Sam side eyeing each other about the make up brush. Clearly advanced technology they can trade for

- everyone always surprised to see tealc is with them and nice. These are the things that make me think he is the very first jaffa to leave the goauld and fight back

- "hes part of our team"

"....is he?"

- when he flips thru the pics of the people in stasis and its just the same 2 white guys at different angles

- love when Jack doesnt understand science talk he just asks Sam to translate . Sam is the human science for dummies book

- reaaaaallly hoping that aircraft that Jack shot down was unmanned and they werent lying

- brief exposure to the mind things wont hurt Jack at all! Unlike our friend here who has permanent brain damage bc of long exposure. Small comforts

- these mind controlled drones are damaging these people and they dont care at all I'm scared mom come pick me up

- lady: our food is chemicals and yeast

Daniel: I'm eating WHAT

- heavy water! What do they have against light water

- Jack and Daniel having a fight at the dinner table using only casual tones and their eyebrows

- the kid who came in the tell them the enemy breached their defences can breach MY defences hot damn

- "to seek new allies and procur technologies to aid in the defence against the goauld" FINALLY something to describe what their job is. But this is to describe now. What about the first 2 seasons

- Daniel is suspicious and I feel like we should listen to him

- "I was speaking metaphorically"

"Well DONT......its not fair to tealc"

- Jack vs Daniel

- daniels hair looks good in this ep for me specifically

- daniels moral compass is so chaotic

- hes got a point tho??? Hear me out. What if an alien race came to help hitler and they helped him bc they didnt know what the other side was fighting for? That would be horrible. Daniels right. These ppl could be hitler

- hold up Jack and tealc in those mind drone things is a bad idea okay we already established the brain damage thing right??? Hello???

- I WAS RIGHT they lied about them being unmanned!!! U aint getting heavy water now bitch eat me!!!

- oh theyre bad news bears. Who saw that coming raise ur hand 🖐🖐🖐

- now their being super shifty about everything. "He is remembered" WHOS he??? A goauld????

- Daniel asking 1000000 questions and Jack having to close his eyes and ask the stargate gods for patience

- "Daniel......shut up"

- JACK DID NOT JUST SAY THAT MY BOY. HE DID NOT JUST BE MEAN TO HIS ARCHEOLOGIST. IM BOUTA THROW HANDS

- thats it everybody leave the room I want to talk to Jack alone

- omg they dont want tealc around. Racist mother fuckers. Or xenophobic I cant tell which

- Jack grabbing daniels hand to stop him from dialing and daniels eyes shift in every direction like hes watching pin ball

- jack, sobbing: you were right Daniel they are assholes and we cant trust them

Daniel: what made you see sense

Jack: they dont like tealc

- sam almost laying down on the battle plan table like what is she doing???

- jack: what do u thing of alar

Tealc: hes hiding something

Jack: like what

Tealc: fuck if I know???? Do you know what the definition of Hiding is???

- oh are they clones??? Is THAT why they are all generic white people??

- "they come in all shapes and sizes??....and colors???"

RACIST MOTHER FUCKERS OH MY GOD

- alar: black and brown people were all over the face of our world so naturally we had to poison our planet :)

- bc thats the logical conclusion when your a racist fuckin idiot

- sam high kicking people in the face is my sexuality

- tealc crushing alars hand with a smile

- hahaha just fucking blow them up!! Lmfaooo

- this is so funny they are legit just blow them up and leave. No less than what racists deserve 👍

- they closed the iris and that dude tried to follow and we just hear a dull thud. Splattered

- RDAs acting i- its just amazing. Hes like shocked that they just killed thousands of people but also those people deserved it so like???? His emotions are fighting each otherrrrr

- was he looking at tealc when the camera faded out. I would like to think so

#stargate season 4 #a couple thousand less racists in the galaxy! good for us

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legion1993 · 5 years

Text

I Did This To Protect You!

A/n: this is for @thisismysecrethappyplace for her challenge!

pairing: Oliver Queen x Female!reader

reader's personal sitch: reader abused as a child

male main is: best friend & wanting more

sitch between mains: secret admirer

dialogue (quote): “we need to talk about what happened last night.”

summery: its a surprise...

Masterlist

Oliver Queen the billionaire playboy but also your rock and stability. as a child you were abused by your father, which led you to how you became closer than ever with Oliver.

the lifestyle you lead is one which holds great hardship... infact you were the one person that Oliver trusted after he came back from the island, but when the vigilante appeared, it was when you started getting those notes.

yes every night since you would go onto your balcony to find a hand written note. each night said something different there had to be some sort of mystery behind it.

alot of times you assumed it was a prank. but tonight you got one that said something very unexpected:

“Meet me on the roof of the Queen Consolidated building i would like to speak with you, face to face. I hope you come, tomorrow night @ 9pm when everyone else has gone home... i hope you can see me for who i am, not for who i’ve been. xoxo Arrow”

that note, your only thoughts at that moment lay with the meeting of the following day. that of course is when the sound of someone opening your door brought you out of your own thoughts.

Oliver: “Y/N you here?”

you hadnt realized what time it was, you were still in your sports bra & shorts breathing after your workout.

Y/N: “in here Ollie!”

Oliver: “is it safe?”

Y/N: “why? are you afraid of seeing me in my workout clothes?”

oliver at that moment entered your room, lingering close to the doorway watching you read what he presumed to be the latest letter.

Oliver: “whats that?”

you smile tucking the letter in a small box, tucking that box back under your bed. turning your attention then to Oliver.

Y/N: “those are just letters from a secret admirer. now, what can i do for my boss/best friend?”

Oliver watched as you stood up & smiled stepping in closer...

Oliver: “well you have been doing such a fantastic job at Queen’s Consolidated, that i figured i’d come by hang out with you, without the hassle of the office staff...”

Y/N: “ollie thats so sweet. what did you have in mind?”

Oliver could only smile as he set down his backpack that you just noticed he had with him.

Oliver: “pjama chillax night...”

you smiled & over all loved that idea.

Y/N: “that sounds wonderful Ollie. let me guess you had a hard time when you got home?”

Oliver nodded sitting beside you on the bed after he shed his sweater & shoes.

Oliver: “fought & argued with everyone... so i packed a bag & came here...”

Oliver loved his famile, well at least he had that luxery... but tonight you figured you would finally tell Oliver about the dark cloud of your past.

Y/N: “how bout we get settled into out pj’s, build us a fort and wait for dinner to arrive.”

Oliver: “that sounds lovely & are we using that air mattress again?”

you pointed to the hall closet, Oliver being the caring gentleman got up, went over & opened the closet pulling out the mattress & its air pump.

Oliver: “get into your pj’s... we’ll reconveine in the living room.”

you smile greatly as there is a hold up in the small recesses of your mind. ever since you started working as Oliver’s secretary, you had been filled with wonder...

the man who stood before you was not the same man who left on that boat with his father... but Oliver was still Oliver, just now the face of Queen’s consolidated you were still his best friend.

Y/N: “So Ollie i’ve been thinking and i don’t want to pressure you into this... but when your ready, if you ever need/want someone to talk to about what happened on the island, i’m here for you... you know that right.?.”

however you could not hear anything but silence coming from the next room. you finished putting on your pj’s grabbing some blankets, you stand on your bed near the edge & begin un-hooking your canopy from the ceiling.

you had a slight misjudgement of the distance you needed to reach the next hook and instead of being able to stabelize yourself, you started to loose your balance something that rarely happened.

before you could even let out a squeal of terror, Oliver slid across the floor just in time to catch you in his arms just as the canopy fell..

Oliver: “you okay?”

Y/N: “i am thanks to your sharp reflexes...”

Oliver: “at least the canopy came down with you!”

Y/N: “at least i’m not living with my horrible ass of a father anymore...”

Oliver: “you father was just an over protective ass...”

instantly your mind went back to the very same day you got your 11th grade mid term report card... when you hit 11th grade you hadnt reached 18 yet... the perks of being a summer babe.. anyway your father saw you still as his innocent exploitable child.

you hadnt told anyone of the true horrors you had experienced with your father, the real reason why you started basically living more with Oliver and his family instead of your own...

the only thing that you had done right was cutting your entire family out of your life. you were now completely ready to tell Oliver about the day that made you decide fully to cut your entire family out of your life.

Oliver: “Y/N, you okay?”

you snapped out of the memory before it went any further...

Y/n: “sorry bout that i fell deep into a distant memory...”

Oliver: “is this something you want to talk about? Y/N you know you can tell me anything?”

you had to breathe a moment, to stiffle whatever sobs were trying to break through... but as you spoke the cracking in your voice was clear to be heard.

Y/N: “do you remember when i got my 11th grade mid term report card... that day i got home and my father sprang a father/daughter camping trip on me.. he said it was in celebration of my excellent grades and stuff... however i never thought that my own father would have had any bad intentions at all...”

Oliver now very curious as to why your body now trembled, why this memory was powerful enough to make you loose your balance... but the more your body trembled, the more your sobs grew... Oliver’s gentle embrace was the only thing keeping you from fully coming apart...

Oliver: “i figured there was more to this story of what happened when i picked u up on the side of the road.”

Y/n: “the day we left, i got in the car and there was this darkness surrounding him... something that made me want to jump out of the car as quickly as i got into it and run far far away... as he drove his free hand wandered down my thigh... this wasnt the first time he had done that, but it also didnt stop him... it was like he didnt have a morale compass of right and wrong... my father abused his parental authority... he crossed a dangerous line... he wanted to check if i was still a virgin...”

Oliver upon hearing this brought you closer to him, now fully sitting you in his lap, he allowed you to finish the story before he would speak again....

Y/N: “obviously i was still 17 at the time... when he forced me to strip off my clothing and he stuck his finger inside me... when he realized i was still tight, that there was still hope, he pulled out a syringe of his semen... when i saw it, i wrapped myself in a blanket and kicked him away from me, running out of the tent... thats when i called you in tears...”

Oliver pulled your tear struck face to look at him, for he now was completely sure of his feelings for you being real...

Oliver: “i’m gonna kill him for this... no one especially not you should ever have to live through something like that...”

Oliver brought his lips to your forehead, pressing them to it gently... Oliver continued to embrace your quivering form as both of you got up, carrying the canopy walking into the living room.

you sat immediately on the couch watching Oliver set up the canopy while you stood there dazed... thats when the door bell rang...

Y/N: “i’ll get it, its probably our food...”

Making your way to the door, you tripped on the front carpet... a few seconds later you heard a loud voice.

Voice 1: “BREAK IT DOWN!!!”

the worst was rising, before you could react your door was broken in... this turned into a bad evening. you Screamed scrambling to get up off the floor... but before Oliver could get you off the ground, one of the 3 goons grabbed you dragging you away.

tears streaming down your face, your screams making oliver fight alot harder against the remaining 2 goons to get you back... the 2 remaining goons threw oliver into the back end of your couch and ran away...

Oliver pulled his phone off the couch and called felicity.

Oliver: “Felicity, Y/N has been taken. we need to find her as well as repair her apartment door on the company card. have Dig bring my gear to the office... i’m on my way...”

Oliver left his helmet and his shoes he was so angry that he stormed out of the apartment, got on his bike and drove to the Queen’s Consolidated Parking Garage. Oliver got off his bike and walked over to Dig.

Diggle: “Can you please tell me why you’re in your Pjama’s??”

Oliver: “Y/N & i were having a slumber party... those goons that took her, i think i know who has her... i have to save her Dig, i have to save her so i can finally tell her...”

Oliver changed while Diggle pondered the decision that Oliver was about to make.

Diggle: “Oliver if you tell her, you know things will change...”

Oliver turned to face John now fully suited up, but Oliver also turned his eye to the company name..

Oliver: “i’ve been thinking about telling her anyway... John i’m in love with her...”

John: “how can you be so sure that she feels the same about you?”

Oliver: “cause “arrow” left her a note on her balcony before showing up at her apartment, i was gonna tell her later anyway Dig i need you to clear out the rooftops of Y/N’s Fathers company... i’ll go in, save the girl & have a chat with her father... have felicity send blueprints with heat signatures & tell her to track Y/N’s watch. she doesn’t have her phone but she was wearing her watch...”

John watched his friend put up his hood, get on his bike & drive away... John relayed Olivers instructions to Felicity then drove to your father’s company... John just beat Oliver but did as he was told...

Oliver (over coms): “dig, i know your thoughts on my telling Y/N but i have to do this... i know she’s the one i want to spend the rest of my life with...”

Dig (over coms): “are you serious right now? Oliver rescue her first, then you can marry her...��

Dig got rid of all the roof guys, making sure that oliver didn’t get struck down as he climbed into the rooftop doorway.

Oliver (over coms): “i’m in be ready for extraction.”

Oliver now on High alert wandered through your fathers building... Oliver’s main priority at that moment was getting you out of there alive, he was also hoping you were alive, it was gonna make things alot easier if you were still alive so he could finally tell you that he was the Arrow and that he was in love with you.

at that moment of his thoughts being interrupted he ducked into some nearby shadows, he didn’t need to be caught so early into the rescue mission.

Oliver (over coms): “felicity, how far am i from Y/N’s ping?”

Felicity (over coms): “about 3 floors above her but Oliver your only option for getting into that room undetected would be to zipline across into the room. trust me, the entire building between you & YN is filled to the brim with security goons. Please be careful & bring her home before you do something stupid...”

Oliver heard what Felicity said but could only concentrate on the guards first then everything else second.

Oliver (over coms): “felicity find me the nearest window...”

felicity searches through the blueprints & leads oliver to the correct window.

Oliver (over coms): “turn off the power in the entire building... including the emergency power... i’m gonna zipline now!”

Oliver set up his zipline to the building cross the street & launched himself into the zipline! immediately he crossed the zipline turning round back towards 3 floors below!

as far as Oliver was concerned, bowling for goons was the funest part of this rescue mission! the power in the entire building was cut... the emergency power was cut as well, the lower window shattered and goons fell unconcious with the kick that Oliver ziplining forcefully brought.

it was several guards later when Oliver released the zipline... then he connected to felicity over coms to chat about the next move...

Oliver (over coms): “Felicity how many guys are left?”

Felicity (over coms): “2 but oliver they are juggernauts... they are heavily armored & like really big guys... then in the room with YN are another 7 guys maybe more... but to get in there go through the vent system... again please be careful and bring her home!”

coms cut, Oliver peaked around the corner shooting 3 knock out arrows that land on the walls surrounding the juggernauts.

those juggernauts didn’t seem affected so Oliver sent out 2 shock arrows, those goons shook and fell unconcious. this was long enough that oliver pulled down the gate to the vents and went inside.

crawling through he could still only hope that you were alive, unharmed not scared or worse.

Oliver knew he had to do something, he had to save you, he had to tell you the truth!

you now had been sitting tied up on the floor for a few hours... you felt as though you had nothing to hope for, except the possibility that someone would come and save you, one person who believed you were worth saving...

at that moment of self-calming, your father’s goons stepped aside to clear a path for your father... you hadn’t seen your father in years, on that note neither had Oliver who was now watching from the vent, waited like you to see what would happen next...

Your father: “good your awake, i was afraid you were gonna miss all the fun!”

Y/N: “stay away from me, i have very powerful friends!”

your father: “now now child, you will have to be more polite than that for this next part... goons 2 at a time... teach my child some manners.”

that was when Oliver reached for some lowkey arrows... ones he knew wouldnt affect you but would affect anyone surrounding you... but waited a bit to see what was gonna happen before he would shoot them...

2 goons approached you, but oliver noticed you didn’t look very scared, he almost wondered if you knew he was there... but he watched as those goons took off their coats an one came behind you holding you still while the other repeatedly hit you in the stomach...

Oliver waited a bit more before he would step in not to watch you get hurt but for the satisfaction that his gear was catching this on video footage that would be going straight to the scpd...

Oliver removed the grate listening to the sounds of the goons coming in contact with your stomach... the screams coming from you... it made Oliver cringe and thats when he shot the zipline coming out of the grate and bowling over a bunch of guys landing behind the one that was punching you...

Oliver grabbed his hand before he could punch you again...

Oliver: “its not nice to hit a lady...”

Oliver took that guy and whacked him with his bow.. then used an arrow to free you from your binds & helped you up off the ground...

Oliver: “are you alright?”

Y/N: “yes i am thank you for saving me...”

Oliver: “oh we aren’t out of the clear yet...”

as Oliver said that you both noticed you were being surrounded again... this time there seemed to be alot more guys...

Oliver: “can you fight?”

YN: “i can whats the plan?”

Oliver: “survive till my team sends extraction...”

you both were instantly attacked... it was hard but you managed, with a few small bumps in the road...

YN: “i guess at some point i’ll have to thank you for this...”

you say as you swing around and knock out another goon... but your father now charged at you...

your father: “child you defy me time and time again... when you dont realize that i only stayed with your mother and kept her alive so she could have you and the more you grew, the more i realized that i loved you as more than a daughter... as a potential vessal for more of my spawn...”

you were now being pinned to the ground, Oliver knocked out his guy just in time to see this sight... he pulled out an arrow and set it up within his bow...

Arrow: “step away from her... now...”

your father slowly got off of you keeping his hands in the air, he turned to face the Arrow, your rescuer, and un-be-known to you your best friend & secret admirer...

Arrow: “i want you to look into my eyes mr Y/L/N, look into my eyes and remember them as the eyes of the man who’s putting you away for a long long time...”

your father looked into the eyes of the arrow, and before long looked very afraid...

Your father: “no no its not possible... how can this be... ii’ll have your...”

before he could finish that sentance, the arrow shot a tranq dart at your father who then fell unconcious... you then hear the arrow whoever he was talking to someone before he went silent and approached you to help you up...

upon helping you up he gives you what you percieve to be a smile of sorts before shooting a zipline arrow out the window and attaching it to a different building...

Arrow: “do you trust me?”

You smile, staring at him for a few moments before accepting his hand which you just happened to notice was extended to you...

Y/N: “you stole that line from Aladdin didnt you?”

Arrow: “do you trust me?”

YN: “yes!”

Arrow: “latch your arms tight around my neck and hold on... i promise i will never let you fall...”

YN: “i trust you...”

Arrow (Oliver) holds your waist with one firm arm and the zipline with the other hand as he took a running start glass everywhere in your shoulder length layered dark brown hair. as soon as you guys were ziplining the cool breeze brought a familiar scent to your attention...

you couldnt place it at the time... but a few moments later you guys landed on a roof top... the arrow landed and set you back on your feet...

YN: “can i ask you a few questions?”

Arrow: “of course you may...”

YN: “are you for sure the one whose been leaving me those notes on my balcony?”

Arrow: “yes thats me...”

You breathed lightly, standing here with the arrow you realized you could ask him a few heavily weighing questions...

YN; “why did my father quiver with fear like he had seen a ghost when you told him to look in your eyes?”

Arrow: “cause ive done many things that im not proud of and well i have my fair share of demons so he saw a few of the demons i carry with me daily...”

you knew that he was still hiding something but you werent going to push him to answer the questions you knew he wouldn’t...

YN: “is there anything you want to try right now?”

Arrow moves closer to you, but you werent scared, you were a little un-nerved, but something inside you kept you from stiffening up like a board...

Arrow: “can i kiss you?”

you slowly nod, Arrow leans in and kisses you softly... making your heart race, beating faster and faster... standing on that rooftop, you felt a certain familiarity while kissing the Arrow, almost like you had once up a time kissed these same lips once before.

Arrow broke the kiss and this time it was bliss, you felt as though the world couldnt stop you...

Arrow: “im gonna take you to the SCPD from there ill hand over the serveillance footage of your father, his goons and what they did to you... then ill check in with you later...”

YN: “thank you again for rescuing me... i don’t know what i would have done if you hadnt shown up when you did...”

Arrow: “thank the heavens we never have to find out... now hold on tight... we are ziplining all the way to the SCPD...”

YN: “you realize that we are like several blocks away from there right...”

Arrow: “you realize that im an excellent shot... i can get us to the SCPD... how else do you think i got here...”

you felt Arrow once more press his lips to yours before taking another zipline arrow and shooting it... you held on tight again as once more you were whisked into a ziplining frenzy.. straight down, both you and the Arrow landing on the outside of the SCPD where Captain Lance happened to be exiting.

Captain Lance: “you really know how to make an entrance... and of course you have a girl... what happened?”

Arrow: “this is YN, her father is the owner of YLN industries...”

Arrow then hands captain lance the flash drive with the footage and audio of the evening’s events...

Captain Lance: “whats on this drive?”

Arrow: “everything explaining the dirty deeds of her father, what his real intentions were towards YN and i would appreciate it if you could also contact oliver queen, he is a close personal friend of mine and i’m sure the CEO of Queen’s Consolidated would want to bring home his very hard working secretary... now Captain i leave her in your capable hands...”

like that he was gone... you shivered but followed Captain Lance inside the SCPD, where he gave you a blanket, and then picked up the phone and dialed Oliver’s number...

Captain Lance: “Hey Oliver, its Captain Lance. i have your secretary here, a mutual friend of ours brought her here... i think it would be best if you came to get her... she seems a little shaken up...”

Oliver (over the phone): “ill be right there... keep her calm till i get there...”

Captain Lance hung up the phone and went over to the coffee maker and poured a small cup, Lance then brings it over to you...

Lance: “i promise you that our mutual friend has probably given me something valuable, something that can help me to expose whatever dirty evil thing your father has been doing... also Oliver will be here as soon as he can...”

you sat there holding the cup of coffee in between your palms... it wasnt long after that till your ears caught wind of a familiar panicked voice calling your name...

Oliver: “YN...”

your body immediately turned towards the voice... you got up from the chair and ran straight into his arms... the familiarity, the way it made you feel was more of a comfort than any cup of coffee...

Oliver: “are you okay?”

YN: “i am now...”

Oliver: “do we need to sign anything captain before i can take her home?”

Captain Lance: “nope if we have any questions ill call personally... you guys are free to go...”

Oliver and You walk out of the police station... Oliver hands you a helmet and gets on his bike...

Oliver: “tomorrow people are gonna be at your apartment to repair the damage... dont worry the company is paying for it... but tonight we are gonna continue our slumber party at the nicest hotel near the office... so tomorrow we can go into work and pretend like nothing bad went wrong...”

YN: “that sounds amazing! i assume you already moved over a bag of stuff for us?”

Oliver nods as you put on the helmet and get on the bike behind Oliver holding on tight... you knew you would have to tell him sometime about what happened to you, but that time wasnt right then...

but again that same sense of familiarity swept over you, it was the same feeling you got when you had been ziplining with the Arrow but a few short minutes before...

you dismissed those thoughts... your brain was over worked, and quite frankly not thinking straight... within a few moments of leaving the SCPD you and Oliver had made it to the hotel district near Queens Consolidated...

Oliver pulled into the premium parkade and that made you wonder if this was one of those special cases where you were gonna learn new secrets about him that you didnt really know before...

Oliver got off first and then helped you take off your helmet, then extending his hand to you helping you off the bike... you shivered at the cold ground beneath your feet... it was very clear to you that your body wasnt taking kindly to the cold weather...

Oliver: “your trembling... would you like me to carry you?”

YN: “i wouldnt object...”

it was then that your mind once more began to piece together the various events... the way Olivers arms and grip felt very similar to that of the Arrow.. it was clear that your mind was trying to tell you something... but you didnt know what...

Oliver: “just hold on to my neck and we will be out of public view very soon...”

security: “welcome back MR. Queen, is there anything you need?”

Olliver: “yes can you have room service send up a bottle of your finest champagne, and a small platter of your finest danties... and a medical muscle rub... please and thank you!”

Security: “of course sir... that will be brought up immediately!”

Oliver continues to walk while holding you, the elevator door staying open as Oliver carries you inside... kissing your forehead... as the elevator took you guys to the penthouse suite... of course this was typical Oliver...

Oliver set you down on the nearest soft surface, he knelt down in front of you and smiled...

Oliver: “what would you like to do first?”

YN: “i want to figure out how my father found me after all this time... why now? i mean it... ow...”

you winced as you tried to stretch out.... your stomach still tender where the goons struck you...

Oliver: “dont worry once the medical muscle rub gets here along with the champagne and danities you will be feeling alot better trust me... ill take care of you...”

the words TRUST ME... those words, the way Oliver said them... it was very similar to how the Arrow had said that earlier... nah it couldnt be, could it...

Oliver: “why dont you go and put on that robe but keep your shorts and sleeping bra on but make sure that there is nothing covering those bruises... ill rub it down when it arrives....”

you took one of those robes and went into the bathroom, while in there you took the time to try and sort through the mess your brain was putting together... or at least attempting to...

You didnt notice any other sore spots, or at least nothing that really stood out at that moment. you gave yourself a once over and then put on the robe, which again painful... but thankfully it was nice and soft, it felt good against your body...

you exited the bathroom to see oliver bringing in a tray full of what he had asked for from room service...

Oliver: “you feel a bit better..”

YN: “maybe a bit but not a whole ton... Ollie, i was wondering are you okay?”

Oliver: “you mean when i got tossed against the back of your couch... lets say ive had worse than that... now come on lay on your back on the bed, and let me tend to your wounds as you once tended to mine!”

you did exactly what Oliver said knowing he was right, he had every right to tend to you just like you tended to him when he first came back from the island... Oliver’s touch was soft, gentle, delicate. but his hands were rough, like he hadnt moisturized in days...

Oliver: “i promise that you will be just fine once the rub starts working now hold still, ill gently start rubbing now...”

you felt Oliver pour the rub on your abdomen, it was a cooling feeling, one unlike anything you had ever felt before... something about having Oliver rub this gel on your wound, made your body feel strange, in ways it has never felt before...

you winced slightly as Oliver started to press slightly harder on your wound...

YN: “Ollie, i have noticed that since we started working together we have become much closer, and i want to thank you for helping me get back on my feet after what my father did... i hate how he has been planning this, i hope the footage the Arrow gave the cops is enough to put him away...”

you winced once more, you made it priority this time to grab Oliver’s arm. his muscle tensing beneath your touch. Oliver’s muscle tensed the same way that the Arrow’s did...

it was then that you looked at Oliver who wasn’t startled by the sudden touch of your hand, Oliver’s eyes piercing your very soul, all the trouble, the days events, everything that had happened seemed to disappear...

YN: “Ollie..”

Oliver had moved much closer it seemed for you could feel his breath against your own skin. Oliver was no longer trying to fight anything, instead he gave into the urge and did something he had been meaning to do for years...

Oliver: “YN!”

that was the last of the talking that happened for the soothing feeling of the muscle rub and now making out with Oliver, we are talking like Oliver was shirtless and gently holding you against him, to you this was bliss, but something about kissing Oliver was so much like kissing OMG... if your brain was right then you were gonna have a serious talk with him when you both wake up later...

the making out took away all your fears, but left you with looming questions, and feelings being brought out of the shadows... you had to do what you wanted to do from the moment Oliver said your name at the SCPD, you had to confront him about what happened...

there was daylight shining through the window of your hotel room when you next took notice of time, you were still aware of your injuries so carefully you stretched and then winced slightly as your abdomen was still tender.

thats when footsteps from the other room brought you to attention...

Oliver: “good morning beautiful!”

YN: “good morning handsome! come here for a moment, i would like to ask you a questions!”

Oliver came over to sit with you on the bed, staring at you with anticipation of what kinds of questions you may be wanting to ask him.

YN: “we need to talk about what happened last night.”

Oliver: “ask me anything im an open book..”

YN: “ever since you picked me up at the police station my mind has been putting me through hell, my mind has also been wondering i guess... Are You The Arrow?"

Oliver went over to the wall by the closet and pushed in one of the panels revealing his greatest secret before sitting back on the bed. the hood, the mask, everything sitting right there, everything that he wore but several hours ago.

Oliver: “i gather by your silence that your trying to process this... but yes, as the Arrow i had written you all those letters, i felt like if i did that as myself you might not have taken me seriously... but YN everything i did in rescuing you, comforting you on your bad days, everything in between and then last night when i kiss you as me and not as the arrow, i felt what i have already confirmed. how long have you been in love with me?”

YN: “not long, the feelings started to manifest themselves when i started to work as your secretary. i know it sounds very unprofessional but its true. i fell in love, i fell hard, but Ollie i must know why did you save me as the Arrow and not yourself?”

Oliver: “cause if i hadnt come as the arrow, both of us might have been dead or worse, your father could have gotten away with his evil maniacal plan. and i wasnt gonna let that bastard do that to the woman i love, I Love You YN!”

the bliss flowed through you instantly but you wanted to be dramatic..

YN: “say it again...”

Oliver confused by this said what he said again assuming he knew what you were refering too...

Oliver: “i wasnt gonna let the Bastard do that to you...”

YN: “no no the part where you told me you loved me!”

Oliver now understood what you meant, so before repeating that line, he decided that he couldnt wait any more, he went over to his suit and pulled something small out of the pocket...

Oliver: “I Love You YN, so much and i never want to be anything without you. will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Oliver opened his closed fist to reveal a 24k silver band with an emerald in the center. your eyes went wide with wonder, but you held your left hand out feeling the metal touch your skin you nod your head.

YN: “yes!”

that was that it was now official, your best friend set to become your husband which was something that was gonna take some getting used to... but hey whatever at least the rest of that very day was mostly spent rolling round in the sheets... you lost your virginity that day and gained a brighter future as well.

#oliver queen x reader #oliver queen is the arrow #big reveal #arrowverse #arrow

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milkandhoneyoongi · 6 years

Text

striking a balance (jungkook scenario)

request: can i request one with jk where he’s had a bad day and takes it out on you and says rlly horrible stuff and so you overwork yourself and actually almost faint and then u guys make up + LOTS OF FLUFF AND ANGST AND SUPER LONG // i rlly love ur work, it makes me so happy seeing it!! 💓💓 tysm x

a/n: bruh… i went in… also may have misread the prompt a little bit but i think it should still satisfy your craving for a lot of angst if not provide a bit more… you’ll see what i mean also the gif doesn’t fit at all but thats okay

you can always send me a request here and view my old imagines here

genre: mostly angst but there’s fluff at the end

word count: 1,638 words

warnings: jungkook being… an asshole tbh… yelling, fainting, overworking, bad word

You had always been okay with putting a little bit more effort into the romance department with Jungkook. Really. It didn’t bother you all that much, and in fact you liked to do it a lot of the time. One of your jokes with Jungkook was that you always bought him flowers because he never had the time to go to the store for you. You had accepted your role of putting the effort into the romantic elements of your relationship, and Jungkook would put the effort into the fiscal parts of the relationship. Not that you didn’t have a job, but let’s face it, being an idol provided a lot more than whatever you were making.

That’s why you always liked to finish up your tasks for the day and make sure you were home before him, wanting to be sure you had a meal ready, some music playing and maybe even some flowers on the counter.

That was a position you never expected yourself to be in, holding a job throughout your studies to help your family. You never expected to not be the breadwinner in your home, but that was only something you thought about when you visited home. Jungkook did such a good job of making you feel comfortable and happy that you didn’t mind what moral compass you had skewed off kilter.

Most days, your little detail-oriented displays of affection pleased Jungkook, being a great relief from his tough days at work. Most days.

On that day however, he entered the apartment with a huff, a heavy sigh masked with anger as he threw his bag and coat to the side. You grinned happily, rushing to greet him at the door with a kiss on the cheek. His disposition didn’t throw you off, as most days he came home like this, and you knew it was your job to make him smile again.

He visibly stiffened at the feeling of your lips against his cheek, a face that resembled one of disgust as he pulled away.

“Hey Kookie,” you chirped, a frown peeking through your words at his reaction.

“Don’t start this today,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair and pushing into the kitchen.

“Start what?” Your eyebrows came together in confusion, following him at his heels. “I made kimchi stew because it’s getting a little chillier. I also got home earlier so I had time.”

“Of course you had the time,” he shook his head, almost laughing to himself.

“What does that mean?” The frown was evident on your face now, but there was a scowl evident on Jungkook’s that made you worry that tonight wasn’t going to be a night you could make him smile.

“You always have time to do whatever you want,” he raised his hands angrily. He inhaled a deep breathe. “Maybe you should start working longer hours.”

“What?” You asked, not because you didn’t agree that you could work longer hours, but because you had always assumed he was okay with the setup.

“I just mean,” he looks away. “I work all day so you don’t have to work as much. How is that fair?”

You winced at his words. “I didn’t know this. I just always thought you were okay with…”

“Okay with what? You being lazy and skimping on work so you can come home early? Why would I be okay with that?” His voice isn’t raised but his tone is significantly sharpened. Lazy. Did he really think that you were lazy?

“I come home early so I can…” You gestured to the house around you.

“You know what I mean, Y/N,” he snapped now, his volume raised.

“I really don’t,” you shook your head, confused. “I always thought our tacit agreement was that I would make this house a welcoming place for you to return to after your longer days. That me being home and being able to provide for you was enough to make up for the fact that I have to leave a little earlier to do so.”

“It really doesn’t work like that,” he scoffed.

“Okay, but you have never mentioned this before!” You raised your voice now to match his, genuinely lost at his accusations. You could recognize that maybe he was right, and maybe you needed more hours at work to pull your weight around the house. The thought had always been in the back of your mind, but it was always overshadowed by how much he seemed to appreciate all you did for him. “I’ll try to put a little more time into my job. For us.”

What was supposed to be something for your relationship very quickly became something only for him. Staying late at work was excruciating, your boss using it as an excuse to give you more tasks. Maybe it was a good thing, as you were probably in the running for some promotion at that point.

You would return quite late, around the same time as Jungkook. He had changed his routine so he would go shower the day off and you would cook something. After the two of you ate he would leave his plate on the table and go relax on the couch while you cleaned up the kitchen.

Very quickly you fell into a nightmarish subordinate role in the household, rarely speaking anything of substance to Jungkook. He had noticed, sure, but he only really saw an increase in your work ethic. You couldn’t be mad that he didn’t offer to help, because just like he hadn’t about with your hours at work, you hadn’t asked.

Jungkook began to notice something, though, that you didn’t. You were slipping.

Most nights you didn’t get into the shower until well after nine, collapsing on the bed to sleep before you would wake up at 4:30 to head back to the office. Your round the clock work schedule that he had asked for was slowly killing you.

He knew it was inevitable, but the night where you snapped would haunt him for days.

The impetus was dropping a bowl. He had left the kitchen to do his usual of watching some TV before bed, his eyes glued to his phone. When he heard the sound of ceramic shattering and the expletive you let out, he stood up.

“Jungkook, I don’t understand why you can’t clean up sometimes,” you whispered harshly to yourself.

“Don’t be like that,” he tutted, “You never asked me to help.”

“Okay but you never asked me to work more! And then you got to yell at me all night,” you frowned, bending down to start picking up pieces of the broken bowl.

He wanted to reach out to you and tell you to let him get it, but he had this nagging feeling that you wanted to fight tonight. “Why are you starting this now?”

“Is there a better time to start it?” you asked, standing up and grabbing a dustpan to fully clean up after the mess.

“I just have this feeling that you want to fight with me right now,” he shook his head. “Why?”

“Because I’m fucking tired and now I’m cleaning up a broken bowl and I’m angry,” you panted, rising to your feet.

Unlike the other times you had bent down and stood back up, however, you felt a wave of dizziness wash over you and you leaned against the counter as your knees buckled under you. The exhaustion, both emotionally and physically took over as you nearly keeled over in the middle of your kitchen.

“Y/N?” Jungkook’s voice took on a tone of worry now, replacing the previous annoyance. “Jagi, talk to me. What is it?”

You shook your head, trying to rid yourself of the tingling sensation that had occupied most of your body and refusing to move your hands from the counter and your gaze from the floor.

“Jagi!” Jungkook shouted, trying to snap you out of it and walking over to you. He softly took the dustpan from your hand and placed it on the floor, leading you to a seated position on the couch. “You’ve been working too hard.” He mentally cursed himself as he realized that all of this could have been avoided if he had just kept his mouth shut that day. You and him would have more time together, you’d fight less, and you wouldn’t be passing out in the kitchen. “I’m so sorry, jagi.”

“About what?” You questioned innocently, and the fact that you didn’t recognize it was his fault that you felt so terrible broke his heart. He sat down beside you on the couch, leaning forward with his head in his hands.

“I shouldn’t have said those things to you,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s my fault you’re overworking yourself now. We had a balance and I just snapped and ruined it all. I ruined us.”

“You think we’re ruined?” You murmured quietly, dropping your head on his shoulder. He tensed up.

“Please, please go back to your regular hours,” he pleaded. “I’m so sorry I ever said anything. I miss coming home to your smiling face. I miss eating dinner with you and talking about our days. I miss falling asleep with you in my arms. I miss you.”

“I’m so glad you say that,” you laid your head in his lap, lying on your back on the couch. You let out a breath of relief as his fingers came to twirl in your hair, soothing you. “I missed you too.”

He looked down at you sweetly. “I’m so sorry I ever tried to change what we have.”

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you, too, jagi,” he smiled, leaning down and pecking you on the cheek. “We’re gonna figure this out. For us.”

#bts #bts scenario #bts reaction #jungkook scenario #jungkook angst

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abundantchewtoys · 5 years

Text

HS Epi: Meat p19 reaction

I... don't really know what to expect anymore.

What could the wallet contain. A Dad note. A Terezi note. Or captchalogued people?

Odds are even we won't be seeing it right away. Though I'd dread to see Dirk's omniscient narrative voice take over narration of the post-victory scenes.

Still, Dirk should know better by now than to rely on his strong points this much. They're not evened out by a reliable moral compass all the time, and he's seen the results of that before. Guess with great knowledge comes great arrogance.

"Anyway, back to the B Plot." Ah yes, the B Plot. On Earth C. Featuring A2 trolls Karkat and Kanaya.

"Right about now, Jade should be wrapping up her political presentation to Roxy and Calliope" Ah, skipping right to the end of that, are we.

"Jade’s got this disarming combo of head-in-the-clouds flightiness and the kind of legit, down-to-earth cred that can only be earned by having done something like cutting open your own grandfather and stuffing him full of polyurethane foam." Ah yes, one of these definitely led to the other.

"neoliberal austerity measures" How often can we repeat the same 3 words?

Roxy groans upon hearing the phrase “neoliberal austerity measures” for no less than the third time in this presentation." Roxy the audience surrogate. Since it's our 3rd time too.

"JADE: as i outlined here in graph b-2 JADE: and here in figure a-6" It's a good thing timelines can only be scratched the once. A6 Alternia would have been a dreadful sight.

"JADE: and here!!! in this very spooky drawing i dictated to callie JADE: (great drawing by the way!!!) CALLIOPE: ^u^" Hah, Calliope's drawing skills have found another use! Political Powerpoints.

"JADE: the thing is that jane is an establishment leader JADE: shes looking at doing things the way our old universes did them JADE: shes pretty convinced that shes going to be able to replicate the capitalist hierarchies that earth had but in a more “responsible” way JADE: but none of that stuff actually worked!!!!!" That's a nice summary of the things that are wrong to Jane's approach, actually. Though it doesn't provide an answer to the underlying problem yet.

"ROXY: and u think karkat can do better? JADE: i think its worth it to give him a chance JADE: hes a leader of the people AND hes experienced firsthand what happens when establishment goes too far JADE: which i imagine you can sympathize with!" This really feels like a boardroom conference, with Jane trying to get a preliminary backing out of a captain of industry.

"Her graphs are floating around the living room in disarray." Hah, she's using her space powers for this in another mundane application. Though... not in any offical setting, it seems. Roxy and Calliope's home.

"CALLIOPE: i’m... CALLIOPE: going to get Us tea and snacks. woUld yoU like some, jade?" To be fair, Calliope's probably going to follow Roxy in her eventual decision, anyway. Her childhood fascination with trolls might have been abandoned for new interests, or she might trust her friend's judgment in matters political.

"Calliope excuses herself from the conversation, and flees to the kitchen, seemingly making no attempt to disguise the fact that she is in fact fleeing." What a cutey. Calliope might in fact be trying to flee anything reeking of negativity, associating it with black romance and such.

"Jade deflates as she watches her go, sensing that her presentation wasn’t the slam dunk she was hoping for." It's so easy forgetting that the narration is also at least in part steering the story at this point. >_<

"ROXY: well i gotta say ROXY: this has been a hella convincing argument all in all ROXY: buuuuut idk if i can help u out" Maybe they would actually like to stay neutral?

"She and Calliope live in a belfry above New Prospit. One end of their living room is an oriel window that looks out over a public park. The other disappears into an arcading hallway lit at the far end by a giant stained glass window that Calliope made herself. The corbels supporting it have windy, abstract shapes carved into them." Artsy! I didn't know what to picture for their living space, but actually Calliope taking to carapacian art-deco and giving it a cheruban twist really works!

"That’s what keeps Jade Harley flitting from couch to couch, relationship to relationship. She can’t stop thinking to herself that “home” comes awfully close to rhyming with “alone.”" Home Alone, huh?

"Home is John, who doesn’t call anymore. Home is when Rose and Kanaya welcome her in from a cold night and help her set lyrics to her sick basslines. Home is here, snorting at Roxy’s irreverent method of storytelling and admiring Callie’s art. Home is Dave and Karkat." This REALLY reminds me of the Tramp, as he had a home in every street he frequented.

"ROXY: im alls ABOUT the sowing of discord among my childhood friends" She's had quite her fill of the dramas. That's a valid reason to stay out of it. She'll just have to weight it against the downsides of not influencing the outcome of the election in any positive way.

"JADE: dirk got to you first ROXY: not even ROXY: i got no problem tellin dirk where to stick it lmao ROXY: but dirks not the one running JADE: you think hes NOT the one pulling the strings behind the scenes? ROXY: sure but give janey a lil credit" On the one hand I'm glad Roxy's got such a backbone, on the other hand, off course we know Dirk's still influencing the outcome at the moment. Also, uh, he's got no issues invading the lives of his friends personally, even after telling us off on the subject first.

"ROXY: but shes yknow JADE: ruthless? :B

Roxy frowns. Jade is being pretty unfair." I get the feeling Jade is less good at filtering her words lately. And I also get the feeling Dirk is starting to sow a little conflict.

"ROXY: shes gotta be miss perfect all the time for the billboards n press meetings ROXY: always wearin those power suits trying to look like a big bad bitch JADE: you mean like....... the condesce? ROXY: wow ouch JADE: im not just imagining it though, right??? JADE: you see it too JADE: not to dredge up something horrible from your history JADE: but her whole image is just kinda...... *woof* ROXY: is that what you guys think? ROXY: u and dave and karkat?" It's something they should have brought up via intermediary channels to Jane on beforehand. Not let fester until all they could think of to "stop" her was introduce a late-to-the-party candidate.

Jade might also be doubly upset with Jane for seemingly mirroring the Condesce, as they were both brainwashed by her.

"Roxy leans forward and stares Jade down, like she’s searching for something behind Jade’s eyes." That's the same thing she did with John! Guess she's trying to find out some of her secrets.

"Jade unwittingly responds in kind, looking for meaning behind Roxy’s gaze. But she comes up empty. And to be honest, so do I." That unfathomable personality might be your spanner in the works, Dirk. I can only hope she's secretly onto him. Her Void powers manifest the 'obscurity' different from Equius.

"In the spirit of full disclosure, Roxy’s the only one left I haven’t been able to crack. Her mind remains a total enigma to me, just like it always has." It's interesting, since they share so much in childhood upbringing, progeny, demeanor even at times...

"invisible, even to increasingly omniscient parties such as myself" *coughDocScratchcough* ... What would Reload Roxy be doing right now, assuming the session's timeline didn't stop when Caliborn's soul 'left' it?

"ROXY: but shes not betty crocker ROXY: and i luv her and i dont wanna hurt her feelings" N'aww.

"ROXY: and thats p much all there is to say on the matter" Second time the phrase's been used in the epilogues!

"CALLIOPE: oh, i’d rather stay Uninvolved, thank yoU." Passive player to the brink.

"CALLIOPE: i feel like interfering in both politics and a personal argUment between my friends woUld be impolite as well as kind of... stressfUl, to be honest. JADE: yeah JADE: sorry callie i probably shouldnt have put all that on you CALLIOPE: less apologizing, more snacking!" It's nice to see they're cutting her some slack. A horrible childhood, an early death, a spiel as a ghost... Oh, sure, she's one of the good guys and as such would have some responsibilities in the end, but it's nice for a change they don't expect too much from her. Maybe a bit too little for her own good, but still.

"Calliope claps her hands together. It’s a bright noise. Her tone of voice is bright too. All these years and she still can’t believe that she has so many friends. She smiles at Jade, and Jade smiles back. The tea tastes great. The cakes are even better. Callie’s an artist in everything she does." ^u^ Aww, that warms my heart at least.

"JADE: wow callie youre such an amazing hostess!" ... Well, she's a more excellent host than Doc Scratch, for sure!

"ROXY: psst not “her,” “them”" ... I see! Well, guess we'll be getting some more insight into the androgyn bodies of cherubs and how Calliope has updated her self image over all these years? Caliborn still had the giant eyelashes, so it stands to reason there were also other, more masculine traits to Calliope's body even when she still shared it with her brother.

"JADE: oh wow!" Oh, I figured Jade already knew about Calliope's preferred pronouns, but it seems not!

"CALLIOPE: bUt i did take comfort in “being a girl” for a very long time. this is something i’ve only recently decided." ... I just remembered how Calmasis also was this androgynous figure. ... I wonder if Calliope will be thinking about a name change.

So, I don't think Roxy's haircut is a sign she's genderfluid now too, but I imagine a lot of fanart has already been created for butch!Roxy by the time I read this.

"ROXY: m-me too actually" Oh. N-never mind then. That caught me unaware! I didn't see that in Roxy. For one, despite all the pink and the ponies, she didn't seem like she felt "trapped" in a role to me. Unlike Calliope, where I can see how she might have felt obliged to embrace everything not-Caliborn.

But this does shed a whole new light on Mom's overly childish and girlish bedroom in the lab. Like she was trying to compensate for something. Uhm... It might also be one of the main reasons behind her drinking problem. Her embracing girlish, adult woman habits but never feeling like they 'fit'.

Well well. Homestuck's main characters continue to be representation incarnate.

"Wait.

What?" PFFFFFFFFFF. I love it. Dirk's reaction is gold. Guess this completely blindsided him too and didn't shed any more lights on the inner workings of her mind than he thought. So even if he knew she was holding something back after the "yea", and maybe encouraged her to keep speaking, he didn't know what to expect.

"Roxy? Seriously?

Like I said, fucking inscrutable." Dirk has NOT just had an "I knew it!" moment.

"I never would have guessed. Not that I’ve spent much time contemplating issues related to gender. I’m pretty secure in my expression of masculinity, and..." That's a suspiciously specific acknowledgement, though, Dirky boy. :P

"You know what? Fuck this. I don’t owe anyone an explanation of any sort on this topic. I’m confident with who I am, what I am, my gender, as well as my understanding of the concept. You want my honest opinion? It’s fucking fantastic. Good for them. Both of them, I mean, but also, both of them in a singular fashion, since each one can now individually be referred to by the conventionally plural word “them.”" Pffff, of all the things. I didn't think this would have Dirk fly off the handle in such a Dave-way, while still narrating, but I'm happy to see it. In an out-of-story sense, Dirk is currently the audience surrogate, showcasing what a "true fanboy"'s reaction could be like, if they were both shocked to the core but mature enough to get over their shock without throwing around accusations and tantrums.

But yeah, at least the aloofness is gone from his voice, for just this time.

"I’m ecstatic for this personal development they’ve embraced, for the people they are, the lack of gender they identify with, and the pronouns they prefer. I’ve got no problem with it whatsoever, and frankly, it’s fucking insulting anyone would ever imagine otherwise." I can picture him speaking through gritted teeth, it's glorious! 'This is good, this is fine. I am doing great!'

"ROXY: ahah hahaha hell of a way to come out" Ooh, so she's not even out to Jane or Rose yet!

"ROXY: what even is gender" That is SUCH a Roxy thing to say. Also, almost stoner like. Picture Gamzee going like (in his quirk): 'Have you ever really THOUGHT about gender, man? I mean, really THOUGHT about it.'

"Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say." "ROXY: i mean that was all stuff from our old universe ROXY: whyd we even bring it here right? JADE: right" I think for Jade it's not something she'd discard so easily! I mean, it all depends on whether 'gender' is something antigonal to your self image, in the end, I guess. If it isn't hindering you... that's how you stay heteronormative in some or all elements.

"Calliope takes a teacake between two of her claws and eats it delicately, hyper-aware of the horrible gnashing and snapping her powerful jaw is capable of.

CALLIOPE: my ideas aboUt gend—

SHIT. Between two of /their/ claws." HAH. Oh my god. The narration cut off Calliope. ... Pffff, though it IS a good callout, since I've been using gendered pronouns still to refer to Calliope. Whoops!

"CALLIOPE: i sUppose i only thoUght of myself as a girl because my, Um... CALLIOPE: my brother took mascUlinity qUite serioUsly." A) Still not saying his name :P B) Using his preferred pronouns.

"CALLIOPE: by which i mean, he became very enthUsiastic aboUt all the things it sUpposedly meant to be a boy. CALLIOPE: cherUb existence is dichotomoUs, bUt not in the same way hUman biology is. CALLIOPE: i sUppose oUr view of hUman cUlture indirectly inflUenced alternia’s development, which in tUrn affected yoUrs, which is something i’ve had a lot of time to think aboUt since we came here." Oh right! Lord English & Doc Scratch helped shape Alternia's development, so in a lot of bad ways there was a focus on power and masculinity, which may have trickled down into Earth's because of who created our universe, and thus it might all have been a self fulfilling prophecy, what Caliborn's gender identity is concerned! Guess we were due another one of these loops. :P

"ROXY: so much of what earth c thinks what boys and girls “SHOULD” do comes straight from the imagination of a bunch of dumb teens ROXY: which is totally FUCKED JADE: sure" Yes, and so much of what Earth C "should" be like, as a victory state reward planet, and the epilogues by extension, exists only in the imagination of a bunch of dumb humans spread over this globe. :P I reek a callout. Not undeserved, mind.

"She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen." (Referring to Jade.) I'll grant you that, Dirk. But I thought you were doing paraphrasing other people's thoughts for the course of this conversation?

"i liked the idea of dirk" He'll love to hear that. :P Well, you know, Karkat had the same thing, he loved the idea of Condesce as a powerful leader, if not always the result of that leadership.

"ROXY: and also literally no one else on the entire planet was alive at the time

ROXY: but we had some babies without even bein consulted about it anyway so w/e" Context!

"JADE: personally im a big fan!

And like that, Jade’s smiling again." Nothing like Dave & Karkat to lift her mood. :P

"The storm clouds pass so quickly in her world, you almost wouldn’t have thought there was anything wrong at all. Roxy and Calliope certainly didn’t notice.

But there is something wrong. And this time, they’ll notice." Uhhh, wrong with Jade? Or something wrong with Earth C in general? Besides Dirk taking over, I mean. Oh no! ... Calliope left the kettle on! :P

"JADE: i... JADE: i.........

Jade drops her tea. The cup hits the floor and shatters." ... Is she passing out?? Just like Rose??

... Oh no. This doesn't have anything to do with John going back, retconning the timeline, and some of their selves being killed right? It shouldn't influence them, since they're from a different timeline, but with the talk about canon and relevance and truth and shit...

Is Dave going to pass out next???

Did John accidentally change the Reload timeline to be the alpha one, and is the future adjusting to the changes??? Or is it due to something to do with Lord English' powers in killing a different 'real' version of them?

"She takes in a sharp breath. She’s not feeling well suddenly. She’s dizzy, feverish, seeing things beyond her field of vision. A blinding flash of light. A black, perfect circle, burning a hole in her eyes." Wow. Just like John, she gets a vision of the Black Hole! So, maybe it's more like she gets backlash from suddenly absorbing the memories of Reload Jade.

"She doesn’t look bad at all— Jade wears unconsciousness well, having spent the better part of her life napping." Aaaand we're back in sleeping beauty terrain.

"But she can’t hear her. Jade is somewhere else right now." Uhhhhh. I thought they didn't really dream in the dreambubbles post-victory no more?? Also, those were all destroyed by LE, anyway.

Dang. That's weird.

Are the B1 kids (adults) actually going to be gathering in the Furthest Ring in 'person'? But why, and how? ... There isn't anything like a 'dreambubble self' body that persists in the Furthest Ring that John could have woken up like how you could wake people up on Derse and Prospit. ... Now I'm reminded of an old fanart I made of a green moon circling the Green Sun, with green dream selves for all humans & trolls we knew at the time (B1 and A2). :P

#homestuck #upd8 #reaction #homestuck liveblog #homestuck epilogues #spoiler alert #roxy lalonde #jade harley #calliope

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waywcrdsons-blog · 6 years

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⋆ ◦ ° ☾ henry cavill + cismale + he/him — have you met maksym petran? they are a thirty eight years old known around town as the the prevaricator. they’ve been in the gang life for two months, and currently work for the gang as a soldier, as well as a private investigator. they are a bisexual gemini, which means they are protective + level headed, as well as stubborn + secretive. faded bullet hole scar, worry lines, frayed photographs. × tony. twenty five. he/him. gmt.

hey there! i’m tony. i’m 25. irish. generally a mess but sure look, who isn’t. i’ve managed to get mamma mia! here we go again (2018) to step off my neck long enough to free up one of my two braincells to let me figure this lad out and i’m very excited to write him with you all.

ABOUT.

Maksym Hadeon Petran -- goes by Maks.

Born in May in 1980 in Kiev, Ukraine to Adrian and Vivianna.

Older brother of Nikolas Petran.

Father to Nicholas Petran (5).

Moved to Valdez, Colorado with his family when he was 14 years old. Initially, he found it difficult to acclimate to life in a new town, in a strange land, but gradually he began to get used to it. Unlike his father, he was a free thinker with dreams bigger than that of a company man.

He was out of Valdez and out of the family home as soon as he got his college acceptance letter, leaving barely a trace of himself behind as he set off to Seattle on a scholarship. He did fairly well despite English being his second language, but he dropped out of college in his second year to pursue a career in law enforcement.

This was the same year that he was woken up at 3am by a phone call from a sympathetic voice telling him they were sorry to call so late, but something horrible has happened. Both his parents slain like pigs in their home, leaving him and his brother orphans. Despite his intentions to look after Niko himself, it was too late by the time he had returned, Balthazar Caito had gotten his hooks into him deep and with nothing to offer him, he resolved to leave him there until he got his life together and then he would return for his only remaining family.

Maks kept his head down and relocated to Kansas so he could at least feel he was nearby and got a job as a police officer, rising up the ranks to detective. While he loves his work, another part of him wondered if it was a final of rebellion against his father -- what was more of a fuck you to the son of a criminal than that same criminal in a badge and blues putting away guys who were like the man who raised him?

But for the most part, Maks has a strong moral compass and a clear idea in his mind of what’s right and what’s wrong, and he settled into this job well. It was easy to forget his roots when faced with a new life and a path that he chose to walk instead of being told was what he had to do but there was one piece of his past he couldn’t leave behind -- his brother.

The weeks meshed into years before he knew it, his career remaining steady and the fulfilment he got from it like no other. The idea of reaching out became more difficult as time got the better of him. He kept track of Niko, of course he did, but he had been taught well and it grew harder and harder to get information on him.

Until one fateful evening when assisting on a narcotics case with one of his detectives he spotted a familiar face in a photograph. Older than he remembered and rough around the ages, the grainy CCTV screen capture bore an image of his brother with the words PERSON OF INTEREST underlined in bold red letters beneath.

This discovery was what lit a fire beneath him, despite the life he had made for himself in Kansas, he knew that the time had come when he had no choice but to go back for his brother. This departure was made equally as difficult by the fact he wasn’t just leaving behind a job but a little boy too, with eyes as blue as his and a name he shared with his long lost uncle.

Telling himself it was in his boys best interest did nothing to soothe the ache that it caused in him, but he couldn’t be deterred. His return to Valdez was done quietly, getting the lay of the land and a feel for the town again. Rather than join the police force in his “homestate” he had quit altogether, electing instead to set up his own private investigation business which allowed for him to continue to gather intel without raising too many suspicions.

Six months after he moved back he made it known that he wished to take what he called his rightful place in the organization. With two parents who had given their life for the cause, he was sure that his long sabbatical on the moral high road could be overlooked with some useful information that only someone who had walked down the roads he had could provide.

He’s been a soldier for the past two months, deliberate in his attempt to not make too many waves as he tries to toe a dangerous line between a good man and a good soldier.

PERSONALITY.

While Maks can be withdrawn and sullen, for the most part he projects himself as easy going. A pathological liar, he’s gotten used to having to tell fib after fib since his return, which has gotten easier with each time he’s had to do it. Slow to drinker and never one to dabble in using drugs, he likes to keep a clear head about him at all times -- it was safer that way.

Stubborn to a fault, he can be hotheaded when pressed despite trying to remain reserved. He’s deeply devoted to his family, to the point where he’ll let other personal connections wither if his brother or his son need him. They’ll always come first.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

These aren’t fleshed out yet, but I’ll send them to the main when they are! The general gist of them would be:

GHOSTS OF THE PAST -- those who would remember him from age 14-18 as a quiet Ukranian teenage boy with a funny accent and broken English at first. Could be friends, lovers, enemies. Pretty much open to anything.

KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU -- His baby mamaaaa. I’m keeping that as vague as possible but he would have met her in Kansas sometime six years ago. Could have been earlier and they could have been a relationship, could have been a one night stand that resulted in a son. This one would have to be discussed && plotted in great detail because aside from Niko it would be the most central personal relationship in his life. Could be unrequited feelings, antagonistic as shit, exes with feelings. I’m breeeeezy.

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY -- people who work in Valdez with connections with law enforcement out of state. Maybe they worked a case or two in Kansas? Maybe they interacted at out of state meetings? Worked together on cross state cases? Maybe they know the extent of his career as a police officer and realise what a fun blackmail opportunity could be given his current attempt at gang life.

YES two out of three of them are song ABBA song titles. and YES i am deeply sorry for that. if any of these interest u or u just wanna yell at me about life, dogs or the mamma mia franchise my ims are open and or feel free to add me on discord @ -- can you hear the drums fernando?#0510 (i know that’s another one... meryl streep pay for my therapy 2k18.)

#valdez.intro #tony stop tryna write characters while in the grips of a hyper obsession #o well at least maks didn't come to me while i was in a reba abyss or else fancy would have been his name jdhgshjk

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

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13x03 watching notes

The Saga Of Dean’s Fluctuating Grief Scruff

Berens has made me cry exponentially more in each of his episodes for a while. At this rate I will cry 6-9 times in this episode, so I really hope we break the streak.

I'm so pumped for this episode.

Hahaha me 10 seconds ago: fuk u berens don't make me cry

recap: how about we paste "goodbye Cas" over the shot of Dean kneeling by dead Cas?

I have returned with my stuffed toy umbreon "taako from eevee" and I have hugs

OH NO Jack recap, pasting Lucifer over him in awful flashes and trying to sell his dark side even though he is a squishy.

WELP they're going right there with the Sam drinking blood parallel with Dean saying when has anything ever gone right for us. Is Jack going to Fuck Up today? Or is that just emotional backstory?

Awww Missouri's BFF. I love her already.

I guess this guy is the wraith. I think I remember him from the promos.

Hey, here's the tarot cards. They're for the MotW

The wraith was in the mirror that's behind them but it didn't show his face all wraith-y. Pfft.

Uhoh, Dean's music is different... Brb need to get a Mittens on the line.

The only word I caught was wall and then we cut to no music and Jack marvelling at the brickwork.

Okay, Mittens told me the song and I looked it up and yeah it's the Rolling Stones and completely romantically neutral.

This is the bit we got:

Mama says yes, Papa says no, Make up you mind 'cause I gotta go. Gonna raise hell at the Union Hall, Drive myself right over the wall.

I almost think it was chosen just because Jack was pawing at the wall.

Jack being fascinated with the bricks in both 13x01 when Sam was ASKING him about the portals between universes, and now when he's just pawing at the bricks reeeally makes me feel like Jack has a fascination with the brick and mortar pattern, like these lines between the solid planes are somehow tickling at whatever deep down cosmic part of himself knows about the portals. If he's still figuring it out or something.

Oh no here's the awful promo that nearly made me cry last night.

I am so sad that Jack's been hiding in his room.

It is adorable how he looks at the data stick, like, getting it's important but totally baffled about HOW and what to DO with it. Sam's starting to take for granted that Jack is a bit more... well, together, than he actually is. The real question is does Sam know he was stabbing himself? That's such a hard thing for Dean to tell Sam, and not betray empathy to Jack - unless he grumpily delivers the news and legs it :P

But yeah, anyway. Sam expecting Jack to be able to do things he can't, maybe starting to take Jack's fast learning for granted when it comes to how he's managed to adapt to burgers and reading and stuff. He's still a 4-5 day old person, and he's never done this before... Sam hands him the USB stick without even stopping to think at first that Jack might not be capable of using it...

*stares at Sam staring at Jack* I think he's feeling deeply sympathetic - I reblogged some meta about how they have a shared experience here but Jack's getting so much more than Sam ever did. Ironically, I was gonna make a parallel to Home, without stopping to think that Missouri is here but let's call it a real meta parallel then - Mary saying even 3 words to Sam in Home was the most Sam had ever seen of her in his entire life and the most words he could remember her saying to him, ever. Of course Mary and Kelly were/are paralleled as mothers, and Kelly to Jack will be a much more pure image because she never did anything dark or made any deals - he's born because she had no idea she was sleeping with Lucifer, so even though Mary was put in an AWFUL place she made the deal with enough accountability she is held responsible for it, and FEELS responsible for it. Since Jack's powers are already being textually paralleled to Sam and his demon blood I think this is an interesting thing to put a pin in.

MIIIISSOURI HELLO

She sounds and looks almost exactly the same. It's been THIRTEEN YEARS what the hell

She looked older in 1x09

maybe it's just the different colour schemes and lighting these days :P

Oh no and we're back to Kelly

Her words are so important in a kind of free will exposition way. She's so proud of him!!!

"YOU HAVE AN ANGEL WATCHING OVER YOU"

I know I sobbed about that in 12x23 a bit but just... the reminder, right now. In this episode where we have been teased that Cas is going to be around again (I miss him so much)... I think it's interesting because Kelly tells Jack that no one can tell him who he can be (which I think may be a problem long term that Sam is interested in moulding him so even TFW aren't a completely safe bet to hang out with for Jack to gain a sense of personhood - he'll have to fly the nest eventually) but then she reminds Jack that an angel is watching over him. Obviously she is a Good Person in the show's narrative, and angels in her perspective are good (because Cas was kind to her) and Cas specifically is AWESOME and this is the reminder that Cas is Jack's father now apparently and all... but it's also setting him aside in a way. I think perhaps Jack needs to come to terms with what Cas is that isn't exactly his FATHER per se but also isn't just the angel on his shoulder, in the exact same way Dean needs to realise Cas isn't his BROTHER per se but also not just the angel on his shoulder. It's that grey area. In Jack's case, it's because a reckoning with Lucifer and understanding the potential darkness in him, or his legacy as being Lucifer's son, can't be ignored. Cas can't be pasted on top of it for his deep down personal understanding, and Kelly mentions the father and Castiel as separate entities. The father doesn't define what Jack is... Cas has a more neutral position, a guiding one... But I think some wires may be crossed with Jack, too, that has given Cas absolute fatherhood in such a way that it's going to be GREAT for Jack to set his moral compass by such a well-meaning good character who seems to want the best for Jack, but it can't be his entire understanding of himself.

...

Sorry for just throwing a Destiel parallel into all that but it fascinates me that tbh Sam is like the only one who doesn't have a complicated relationship with Cas. I guess also Mary got to grips with him around 12x09, but then also didn't have a whole bunch of contact with him... On the other hand in my Christmas fic I haven't even got the remotest idea what it will be about yet but will feature all the current living characters in a fluffy Christmas scenario, I'm pretty much ready for Cas and Mary to be the chillest friends :P

LOL Sam and Dean talking about how long since they saw Missouri "what has it been a decade?" "MORE" Yeah you FUCKS she said to stay in touch. DON'T BE STRANGERS.

That is a cold sweat moment for Dean, like... fuck I haven't ever even sent her a CHRISTMAS CARD

Maybe he sees her name in John's journal sometimes and does send her one.

Awww and Sam was talking to Jody off-screen, which I love because that is my JAM

*badum tish*

Dean is alarmed that Sam handed off the case to her, because he wanted to leave the freaking house and get awaaay from Jack

He's not that concerned about Jody.

I mean, rationally, he knows Jody is the Toughest Cookie they've ever met. She went up against Leviathan WITH AN APPENDECTOMY

But in the immediate here and now? He is PISSED that Sam wants to keep them sequestered away in the Bunker with the one thing he can hardly bear to co-exist with in the same universe.

His stomping off is an End Of moment... Reminded of 9x06 because Berens, but also because in the start of that episode Dean takes the lead from Cas and legs it from researching with Sam and Kevin, and it's like a horrible reverse motivation. Cas is dead and he can't bear to be around that horror and guilt and confusion. He needs the distraction, so off he goes on a solo case, leaving Sam behind. His angry "you got me" when he skips out on research and Kevin thinks he has it all sussed out why Dean is leaving is again a reverse of Dean's self-professed anger at the situation when he knows that Jody will be FINE and of course she's part of their competent hunter network who can handle things probably a hell of a lot better than them, being an actual cop and all. But it makes one hell of an excuse to go. And Dean was in a pissy mood then as well but it was his own fuck up about Gadreel bothering him and his guilt about what he'd done to Cas. So external motivators help him leave. This time it's all internal motivators where he WANTS to leave. So he makes it all happen by getting irrationally angry at Sam.

CORN FIELD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I know it was most likely just There but hey we have a Turducken slammer poster in the background and corn syrup blah blah, and corn = Cain

Theeeemes, as Mittens says.

JODY JODY JODY

Missouri drops some heeeavy hints about not having family around any more.

She always did love that car. A reminder she's known them basically their entire lives, since The Fire, and she knew the car as both John and Dean's.

Also a handy way to make her a trusted ally and as Mittens says, the car is Dean's soul and Missouri has seen inside him.

HE JUST WANTS HUGS

He heard Missouri and Jody were in the same place and was like FUCK YOU SAM I AM GOING TO COLLECT MY HUGS

But seriously even if he's kinda putting it all on a bit because he's miserable, these people are genuinely cheering him up just to see and he's getting physical comfort from two parental figures to him.

(he's so weird about Jody being a mom figure)

LOL Missouri did the thing

The thing literally every single person said they wanted her to do

he should have hugged Jody first

Is it just me or did she hesitate on "loss" and then add the "es" after a moment of uncertainty? Please tell me one is not drowning out the other I will die.

Although of course, Missouri is a HUGE reminder of the Mary stuff because she comes connected to their home and Dean is having to re-re-confront that and OF COURSE he does it when he's lost Mary AGAIN. And pfft I spent yesterday writing about Jody re-losing her son in 5x15 and having the problem of fresh loss after getting someone back you didn't think you'd ever HAVE back.

I love that we're seeing Missouri's process. She's reaaally spelling out the exposition. But in this case I can trust that that's just because the actual method and knowing that it's a wraith and his MO is just a random detail to all the more important emotional stuff. That this is just some necessary building blocks to get to the good stuff and this is the fastest way to get us there.

Sam immediately starts getting into choppy water and I'm one line into the next scene. He's bringing up training Jack... Sam, we've spent the last 2 weeks talking about how it's not a great idea for you to try and harness him for your own reasons because it will make you look bad to him. Jack needs to trust you!

I'm worried he'll end up thinking that Sam giving him the connection with his mom was just a way to soften him up a bit more to Sam. Like yeah on the surface level it's lovely and shows Sam has been careful and paid attention and collected all the evidence from the house to check if anything will be important for Jack (not the 100s of diapers)... And then found this thing and immediately decided Jack should have it because it would mean so much to him. it's great that he cares so much he did this!!

But yeah putting the scenes back to back is a little uncomfortable because Sam does have motives, and like I said last time out, if Sam HADN'T just lost Mary through a rift Nougat unknowingly opened, he would 100% definitely treat Jack with the exact same care because he is a sweet guy.

But looks bad.

Sam is waving a pencil. He looks like a lecturer.

This is a different part of the Bunker or the library from an angle we never see and this is a new table with a different lamp and I am so horrified, as the Table Meta person, to have a bunch of new stuff to work out and write about :P

This is the Yoda Table for the time being

I suppose it's a new place for a fresh start and, like, virgin territory for meta meaning. Whether it's the store room or the library the important thing is it's DIFFERENT and it's a sort of secluded corner than right out in the middle of the war room or something. It's a sort of private nook kind of feeling. Sam is trying to make a comfortable environment for Jack.

Jack glances at Sam.

Thing is, Asmodeus got him to open a portal to hell by cajoling him, and Sam's asking him to get control of basic things like moving a pencil around. It SEEMS safe and like a good exercise to try and get to grips with his powers and learn finesse and control, and for Jack's sake too. But... Idk, still looks dodgy Sam. I mean I can absolutely and 100% see a surface level where this is adorable and great and Sam has a new friend/nephew, and for the time being I'm enjoying it as it is. But I have this worried feeling that Sam is not going to help Jack emotionally, even if this works in the short term, because Jack has room to be suspicious of what Sam wants, and even if Sam doesn't ask for a while, he has a motivation for Jack to learn to control his powers beyond JUST wanting to help him. I think their dynamic is great and fascinating, but I am worried that from Jack's perspective he won't get the nuance of Sam - Sam needs to open up to him for one thing about his own fuck ups and what Azazel - another yellow eyed demon - did to him.

And Jack glancing at Sam who is watching him so intently is the tension here - can Jack trust Sam when Sam may be just as interested in Jack as Asmodeus was? How can a 5 day old TELL?

James has a super nice house.

Also Missouri is "not supposed to call" but they used a recent calls screen on her phone instead of a contacts list, and James was on it, which means that she HAS been in contact with him recently, and therefore prop department messed it up. The CGI in this episode has made 2 errors already >.>

OH NO JAMES DOESN'T BELIEVE

"it's coming for you and pa-" nooo

WHERE IS PATIENCE

I wanna see her on screeeeeeeeeeeeen

WHAT DID MISSOURI DO TO JAMES?

She was a John parallel in 1x09 and allied with him and withholding epic amounts of plot info that only she knew what could have been everything up to and including end of season 2 reveal stuff. Her powers make her kind of a disaster friend tbh. Like, great at a party but if you don't believe your mother has visions and is, idk, hysterical or something, then OH BOY that makes for some family trauma. We'll see how this shakes out but right now James at least is successful and rich and has nooothing to do with his mother even though he may potentially be psychic and repressed about it himself, since the wraith will be coming for him and Patience, and we know SHE is.

I kinda don't wanna make a parallel where she's the bad parent and fucked up her son who has repressed his powers because oh boy he's got like a Dean Smith level apartment and this is a can of worms I can't be bothered to delve into when Patience might be on screen soon.

Dean "yes ma'am"'d Missouri because everything is awful, because he'd "yes sir" John and oh god. Ow.

Jody is watching like "what the hell sort of dynamic have I missed here?"

She has been taking notes on these boys for years and she still doesn't know anything about them. I was thinking the other day watching 5x15 that when she meets them they're in Fed get up and they bluster at her like they're the authorities when she first challenges them, until she calls Bobby and sees through it and calls their crap. But something something defensive retreat into surface level clam shell around Jody, re: she had no idea Dean went to Purgatory, was a demon, or that Mary had come back to life, just for STARTERS.

I wonder if Missouri commenting on the car was a tie back to John as well specifically in her alignment. This season is all about fathers and without an actual John for Dean to deal with, bringing Missouri back as a John figure... eep

Meanwhile Jack is still squinting at a pencil and calling himself useless, so I think Sam is about to climb on his back and make him run through a swamp while beating him with a stick

(dear god I hope every single one of you has watched Empire Strikes Back)

Jack's catchphrase is "I don't -" he just doesn't understand. He doesn't KNOW.

Asmodeus was "in his head"

Holy shit and then Sam suggests Jack try that and Jack snaps back at him because HOLY SHIT SAM CAN YOU HEAR HOW BAD THIS SOUNDS?

You really can't, because you think you are doing a good thing but USB STICK, SAM. USB STICK.

Asmodeus was a master manipulator who made Jack want to do a thing so badly and used all the right words to make him do exactly what he wanted. Sam is nice enough not to brainwash Jack like see the pencil, be the pencil dramatics... But asking Jack to remember one of his many traumatic experiences? Noooo don't do it.

This is a very bad plan, Sam.

Anyway also Jack confirms how Asmodeus manipulated him and shows his innocence and also his feelings on what happened - how horrible it was for him to go through it, and, well, he was 3 days old and he got tricked and he has no emotional touchstones to handle this sort of thing :(

And Sam is just being way too rigorous - we take a break, he gets some food, then he'll come back and we try again? Nooo Sam.

(btw I have to say I have been saying over and over that Berens writes my favourite Sam, and this is indeed Berens making Sam absolutely fascinating, although I have to repeat, as a totally flawed and messed up person. No one was ever there for Sam to guide him through what he could do. He didn't even know how he moved that wardrobe the one time he did telekinesis... He's completely lost and trying to handle this alone and with a lot to prove because Dean's snapped at him and stormed off, and he wants Mary back... He's being like Dean - angry and taking it out on Jack - but in Sam's chill, deep under the surface way, and of course like Dean can spare smiles and hugs for Jody and Missouri, he still can have a kind and well-meaning surface layer just like Dean can have a happy one. But bring on the frustration and he slips and says the wrong things and now he's acting like a strict teacher....)

Jack's face that was cast to be both perfectly scowly and perfectly cute is now being used to be very scary and scowly.

OH NO MISSOURI!!!

She was badass and defiant to the end but it's still sad and we knew it was coming because, well... I swear there was spoiler chatter that Patience and Missouri would meet, but I suppose it's more like Patience is going to find out about her grandma and have to learn about her that way...

I mean the whole point of Wayward Sisters so far has been Jody collecting orphaned girls and she has a living father and until this point Missouri, so she has to end up in a way where Jody is now the only guiding light she has

but bleeeeeeeh.

ANYWAY like passing the baton, we get the last scene of Missouri (making a stand) and move to Patience.

HELLO NEW MAIN CHARACTER

She's a neeeerd

I love her

She is good at volleyball because she's psychic

heee wonder woman comparison. Blah blah meta from when Dean owned being wonder woman.

Her athletic friend looks nerdy and she describes her as being a bookworm athlete because Patience looks cool and athletic (she's very tall or her friend is short...) so there's 2 false binaries here: the nerd and athlete one where you can only be one or another. Her friend with the massive glasses and fringe (bangs?) is nerd-coded. And Patience carrying around her files but secretly being good at sports is the direct opposite... I like this imagery, no prizes for guessing where else I apply it :P

All the lights are flickering... It would be hilarious if SHE was causing it, just because monsters don't do that...

I think she is having a vision.

OH it was a dream, cool. (We're really expanding what psychics can do all of a sudden, because we're about to send 2 of them off into Wayward Sisters. If Kaia and Patience can hang out in dreams, that would be AWESOME. I bet visiting Patience's dream landscape once she has her powers under control would be amazing, if 8x08 and Fred's inner mind is anything to go off of :P)

Also OH NO poor Missouri. She's used her death as an omen for Patience, like, basically just because her father won't talk to her. I mean talk about spite, she's right in the John Winchester model of family, like, well guess I'll just DIE then, and get Patience to deal with this for me :P

Getting back to those flashing lights, also, even though it was just a dream, I do think it was interesting because Jack blew all those lights. I think it's a sign of losing control as much as a display of power - if we go from 4x01 and Cas doing it, it was just because raw power on display. In 13x01 for Jack it's both that and loss of control. For Patience it's the sign of the supernatural creeping up on her but also she loses control of her dream environment and Missouri invades it to send her the warning...

James has something on his screen about crude oil. He's probably like a stocks and shares guy or something. This house is ridiculous. Patience is going to be the rich kid on the team, and probably adjusting to the gross gritty life of being a hunter :P

Ooh she did recognise Missouri - so the contact wasn't broken off THAT long ago.... I say remembering how I thought she hadn't changed at all since season 1 :P

James doesn't give anything away about her phoning like, yesterday. He looks baaad about it.

Don't lie to kids about their powers and heritage...

I say side-eyeing Sam for not getting into the exact thing with Lucifer I was blah-ing on about at the top of this episode. Which is probably not helping Jack understand and control his powers

Oh noooo Dean at a Gas n Sip

hearing about the murder on the TV OH NO

I got to ask why it's night at the fortune teller's and day where Dean is.

Singer directed this and I'm up to 3 boo boos of the wraith not being in the mirror, the phone breaking the story, and the wrong time of day in the footage on TV so I'm just gonna side eye and move on. Maybe he's having an off week when he made this or something because when he's not directing Eugenie's scripts he's normally competent.

Knock Knock hello James

Wait, Dean has got massively more scruffy between scenes.

HE HAS - I WENT BACK AND LOOKED

Is this a continuity about them driving all night?

I am loving the look. Gimme more of the season 9 look Dean.

They are kinda treating James like he knows and cares about monsters, when really he's a stock guy with a fancy house. Wrong approach, but telling the absolute truth. Dean, again, not sugar coating it. Jody has to step in and help with comforting sounding words about the truth. She, also, doesn't even mention she's a cop and is acting very much as Dean's partner on the hunt rather than a cop.

Patieeence. At school with her friend, who is badgering her about hot boys. Patience relucantly says okay fine he's hot. *wonders exactly how gay she is* Probably not with a huuuge crush on her friend but we'll see :P No one can be that "ugh" about the entire concept.

Patiiiience. She's been ACTIVATED.

The fact she had a couple of pencils sticking out of something in her locker just makes me think that over on the other side of the story Sam is trying to activate Jack's powers via a pencil.

AAAH

HAHAHAHA She's awesome!!!

And she snaps the gross wraith spike off with like 0% of the fuss Dean made.

I LOVE the shot of Dean rushing down the stairs to follow the wraith... I also love that Jody is now united with Patience, and she's gonna glom onto her and drag her into her spiiiiin offffffffff

After all the fuss I'm making that better get picked up or I'm rioting.

Dean nearly gets hit by a blue van - hey, monsters in blue vans? 8x18, that time when Dean was like "what, my feelings????" when Sam asked him how he was, and then there was that creepy Metatron sweater dude being a terrible stand-in father for Krissy in like the dark timeline version of what Wayward Sisters is promising to become.

Bah Dean shaved again... Get the continuity together!!

Ohh no Patience thinks Missouri doesn't caaare... She ditched her after her mom died? heeeey-o John parallels where he emotionally ditched them after Mary died. Only this leads to Patience growing up with no idea about her powers... Except she has been unnerved enough by her deja vu to sound like she's researched it on wikipedia and reassured herself that hey this happens to everyone...

Well if she's not queer she's certainly having one hell of a metaphor journey :P

HOLY SHIT SAM. He put Jack in that table because there's a SECRET CAMERA

you know what Sam has done? Once he knew the BMOL put cameras in the bunker, he's gone and found their wifi and he's got into it with undefined magic hacking powers they all have and he's using Ketch's surveillance for his own purposes now.

Look. You mean well. You're reading the sort of parenting book for psychic kids you never had yourself (love it) but this is creepy! You shouldn't be spying on Jack!!!!

Sam has boundary issues with his magic nephew, more news at 10

I know I know he's just concerned and worried and wants to do the right thing but he's not got any frame of reference for how to emotionally nurture someone. It's a MIRACLE and testament to his nature that he's come out anything like as sweet as he did. But oh boy this is bad. You can't just come running in yelling because Jack moved out of sight because now Sam has betrayed that he was watching Jack or WHY WOULD HE COME RUNNING IN IN SUCH A PANIC?

Jack's starting to sound done with everything and I love my Nougat child who likes sitting in dark corners.

He's not sitting cross-legged this time, it's much more like how Sam found him in 12x23

I think Jack seeks out dark shadowy places to lurk

His voice has literally changed to be more gravelly

OH NO JACK NOOOOOOOOO

HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU'RE EVIL, YOU PRECIOUS CHILD

But Dean thinks he'll be evil and Sam has surveillance set up on him...

Oh dear god let this be the Berens Speech of the episode that makes me weep openly

OH NO NOUGAT

He's got all his comparisons to live up to but he doesn't have his angel watching over him!!!

I said earlier that's a bad comparison for Jack to treat him as his father AND that phrase needs to be hauled out and torn to shreds, but I think some short term guardian angeling will probably be good for Jack and maybe even Cas depending on how he feels when he gets back... I almost trust this season to treat that relationship slowly and carefully since they're being so absolutely on the nose with character development stuff being spelled out.

Sam's doing the "listen" thing and sitting down... Can you get to Jack?

SAY THE THING

Oh gosh he apologised for pressuring Jack

I didn't think that would work

I should yell at the screen more

HE WANTS TO FIND A BETTER WAY

AND THEN HE TOOK JACK'S HAND AND HAULED HIM TO HIS FEET

OH YEAH HERE IT IS "I know what it feels like -" THAT WAS PART 2 OF "SAY THE THING"

AHAHA STOP MAKING SAM CRY, BERENS, YOU MONSTER

It makes me cry

"Dean, Cas - my family helped me through" NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE FUCK OFF BERENS

"you're not evil, Jack" THANKS SAM, THOUGH

Meanwhile: Jody and Dean awkwardly stand next to each other while Patience has a Family Moment.

Dean's connection to Missouri goes so far back that Patience has to mean something to him in the sense that omg this is Missouri's family... However she treated Dean (and kinda scared him i think :P) he has an investment in them because Missouri was there at a bloody awful time for him, and she was helpful and good to them (and he has no idea she was lying about John the whole time - tbh the fact that she can see stuff that happened in a scene pretty much just confirms to me that what we DIDN'T see was that the first time John met her he took her to the nursery and BAM she sees the scene from 2x21 that Azazel showed Sam of the demon blood and she's like... ah.)

(pls refer to my pre-wayward sisters watching notes for actual thoughts on that :P I got super rambly and i'm not going over it AGAIN)

OH NO James grew up having total faith in her powers and then she said what James wanted to hear and told him the better news either making a mistake or doing EXACTLY WHAT WE SAW HER DO in her introductory seconds... Temporary help to alleviate pain but in the end - well, that guy's wife was still banging the gardener whether he knew it or not and one way or another he might find out...)

UGH Missouri what did you do.

OH NO JAMES HAS DEAN'S BACKSTORY OF HIS PARENT ON THE ROAD HUNTING MONSTERS

Remember when I said I hated the Dean Smith life he made for himself? I HATE IT SO MUCH

I went to vent at Mittens about this and she told me she has been comparing Patience to Kev and James to Linda and that's another extremely awful way to look at all this :D

"I didn't want that life for you" I think it's interesting that James managed to put it all behind him SO effectively, especially if he's somewhat psychic himself (I BET IT HELPS WITH TRADING SHARES, IF IT HELPS WITH VOLLEYBALL. JUST SAYING)... He's basically done what both John and Mary repeatedly said especially in the context of Sam and just letting him go to school and live a life. Patience has got that - so far - but lo and behold it all catches up.

Aaaand James chooses to run again.

Like, it sucks, but "use her as bait and kill the wraith" is generally the better tactic when it comes to just confronting your problems. And the horror genre is ALWAYS about confronting those inner problems. In this case the wraith going specifically after the psychics in the family is blatantly a metaphor for this catching up and James no longer being able to pretend this isn't what his family is all about. I would say it's targeted at his decisions and Patience's awakening - a vision is one thing, an attack BECAUSE she had it seals the deal and makes it impossible to ignore.

And if James runs again, he only puts the problem behind them, to try and live normally but... Patience has already been changed by this encounter and Missouri's awakening.

Awwwwwwww nooooooooo flashback.

She's so SMOL.

This is all the perfect sort of emotional manipulation to get me completely attached to her.

I'm trying not to meta too much between The Man Pain and Patience's story (she's the POV character of WS I think? I mean I desperately want her to be, as the new character to the dynamic aside from Kaia who's being introduced later as a part of Claire's story - and I think I saw one comment somewhere in the PR and completely latched onto it) but there is something about James saying that Missouri's influence is poison and Patience learning to be psychic is something he desperately wants to avoid, and the parallel story with Jack also discovering his powers. Patience thankfully only seems to have Sam-like visions and will probably have Missouri's skill set (i mean sheesh this might not be a memory but a vision but in this case it's almost impossible to tell apart for Patience except that maybe this is literally the clarity of what she's remembering on screen :P) - I think it works better in the present day, that the adults are all here to weigh in on what Patience can be.

I think Missouri appearing in flashes mirrors Kelly to Jack, since he's not getting anything from Cas at the moment, so she's the beacon of someone who truly believes in Patience, and there was a sort of powers birth transfer awakening thing in the way Missouri dies and Patience gets her first strong vision that she can't shake off as deja vu.

Dean said that Missouri reads objects so Patience is probably getting this vision off the brooch, tbh.

This hazy memory is probably actually circa like... season 2 or something, if Patience is supposed to be school aged NOW and the show is THIRTEEN YEARS OLD so if she's like... 5... that's season 1 or 2, if she's roughly supposed to be 18

I am not good at maths btw feel free to call this out

That kid REALLY looks like young Patience, in that creepy SPN casting directors way

OH GOSH the vision parallels not just to Kelly but Missouri will always look out for her, and that's very much like Angels Are Watching Over You

AAAAAH HE GRABBED PATIENCE

put it back.jpg

Is James going to use his own secrit powers he's been repressing the entire time and find her?

HE'S GONNA USE HIS PSYCHIC POWERS TO FIND PATIENCE

Bless this entire metaphor of repression being overcome and accessing the true parts of yourself.

Is this the same creepy set that Cas once stabbed a demon in that time when he was looking for something or other? I can't even remember if that was season 10 or 11 or what he was looking for, but a gif of him wandering around doing The Eyebrow is common enough on my dash I don't forget that it happened :P

Oh great he basically has super wraith powers because he drinks people with super powers.

Stupid creepy wraith

Leave her alone!!!!!!!!!

LOL

"first: gross" I love her.

NOOOOO JAMES

You were just starting to be cool

Wait is she having a vision, because Jody should probably not be dead right now if she has a spin off to be playing around in:P

I bet Dean's about to killed too

Yep

owie, that was embarrassing for him

He's super off his game if he lets himself get killed THAT EASILY

This was super metaphoric on so many levels though - once I know what happens with James I should get back to that, but Jody symbolically being killed and she's moving on to another property with her flock of girls, and DEAN, getting symbolically super killed like stabby stabby stabby, make it look good for the next time they have to recap how often they all die on this show.. :P But yeah, even just showing him dying is fascinating, especially with the context of how he's feeling.

And oh no Mittens pointed out he's not just off his game but if he saw Jody being dead, that's all his worst fears, and ANOTHER dead friend on his hands, and he did specifically come here to protect her, in his words. :<

I love the 2nd version of this. The new fight coordinator guy is really showing off. I type in the instant Dean grabs the rope because improvised weapons are a thing now :P

I should probably dig up that meta about veils between worlds because even if Dean didn't die he just got shoved through like 100 hanging sheets and that is ridiculously symbolic.

Nice one, Dean.

LOL his face. "welp, killed that guy"

I feel like there was a Moment there. Like maybe he thought hunting would make him feel something but -

oh no

HE'S SCRUFFY AGAIN

I feel attacked by the bad continuity but the fact that the bad continuity is because Dean's apparently due some grief scruff

"You handled that wraith! Guess you still got it!!"

*dean pauses* *stares into the nihilistic dark void consuming his soul*

"guess so"

I hate this

PATIENCE

Snuggly hoodie is snuggly. I wanna hug her

"Thank you, for everything" that phraaase nooo

James thinks she should put her gift away and get back to normal... But she has a spin off to go to.

NOO DEAN DO NOT DO A IN THIS LIFE SPEECH

I HAAATE THIS

elizabethrobertajones WHAT THE FUCK HE'S SCRUFFY AGAIN I'm phoning the continuity guy how do I find his number Dean's scruff has been coming and going all episode :P

mittensmorgul wait where are you?

elizabethrobertajones Dean's broken pls help him this must be the scene they wanted the scruff for and he showed up on day 1 of filming clean shaven and they were like... Jensen... no

mittensmorgul HAHAHA

elizabethrobertajones Dean's gotta talk about how everything sucks and he wants to just go live on the beach in a house made of sticks and you need at least 5mm of scruff for that speech

mittensmorgul oh no...

Anyway Dean and James agree - Patience should go live in her house and they should exploit their skills only for shares and volleyball. Dean is utterly, utterly defeated and he hates the job and it's the worst and everyone you love will die and you just have to kill monsters all day and it's not even FUN...

please help him

YAY JODY

"you don't have to listen to him" because guess who is NOT THE BOSS OF US ON THE WAYWARD SISTERS SHOW?

That's right, The Man Pain(TM)

Jody you absolute beacon of sunshine and love and accepting yourself. She can see Dean's broken and spoke out of turn to what Patience might need in his own grief (and I think that must parallel to Sam's treatment of Jack somewhat although thankfully they resolved it back to a functioning relationship already) so she offers her an alternative.

OH NO and she refers to Claire as a sort of daughter

haaalp

And she's so sad she couldn't keep Claire safe against her nature to be a hunter.

And Jody OBLITERATES repression completely. Go be gay with the Wayward Sisters. :D

"You try to force it down to make someone else happy, you will only make yourself miserable"

I love you Berens.

And Jody recruits another avenger :D

*glares at my tables tag* Sam is sitting alone in the dark at the war room table, exactly like the end of 9x06. Sometimes being right about the sneaky imagery the show uses feels so pointless because, well, I'm right, but to what purpose does this serve? The tables tag will never bring me glory in battle :P

Mittens just warned me to squish Taako for the rest of this scene so I'm in hug mode.

"How's the kid, did he go darkside yet?" "nooope."

I mean I'm using Sam's line as a reaction gif forever but OW.

Is Sam gonna call Dean out on what he's been saying about Jack? I scared.

"He's messed up because of you"

... uuh. Again. I'm gonna stop asking Berens for the next line of dialogue because i feel like I'm in that gameshow where they are trying to finish a phrase and I'm just asking for all the right letters while thinking I know what the phrase is and I am scared about what that phrase is.

And Sam is playing with the rings on the table, which Lucifer once did, and Sam did a few times in season 12 when things were HAIRY.

He fidgets when he is upset with his family.

"You think you can USE this freak"

I'm SHAKING. DEAN, NO. STOP TALKING IMMMMMMEDIATELY RIGHT NOW.

I stand by that Sam has a dodgy approach to Jack but fuck that entire concept that Dean just aired, we're getting into Open Warfare in the fandom between the Sam n Dean factions, I can tell. Like... the only question is is this going to be worse than Sam Hit A Dog or In The Same Situation I Wouldn't, or both on top of each other?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JACK IS THERE

Dean is wearing a black henley and Jack is wearing a white one I HATE IT

"I didn't end bad" OH WE ARE GOING THERE

WE ARE SO GOING THERE

Sam's been going there since Dean said "freak" because i have recently rewatched enough of season 1-4 to screeech when Dean said it.

And here's the season 2 thing back again

OH SHIT

Dean no

NO.

He's saying ALL THE THINGS AND HE SHOULD NOT BE SAYING THEEEEM

(I mean... healthy communication and the truth? But like... not doing it at top volume in front of the kid??)

NO THE CAS THING

THIS IS THE SAME FACE AS 9x22 WHEN DEAN SAID IT WAS A DICTATORSHIP

CAAAASSSSSS

HI BABE

Wakey wakey

Okay I had to go to dinner and I took my laptop down and made my mum extremely sad

I noticed a couple of other things on the next pass through, mostly sneaky dialogue repeats that I can't remember

but pass 2 through that last argument anyway because I was rushing it

Oh teardrops in the bead curtain at Dede's place, because grief. More passing through veils too.

The 9x06 parallel because Sam has a pencil for Jack, and it's a different room in the Bunker but weird shades of them keeping Crowley there, at least on the negative side of how they're treating Jack. Not a true parallel - different room and they're not asking him to write anything down, and Jack is doubling as Kevin.

Thinking of doubles - Patience framed as having 2 consciences about whether she becomes a wayward sister or not in Dean vs Jody - very much like Jack having dual father issues. Jody says "don't listen to him" for the negative example and wafts it away with love and she's gonna keep Patience :3

Also I thought of like 18 more reasons why I love Patience while I was watching

So, 3rd pass through this argument... WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF

Sam confronting Dean is again something where the episode establishes a mixed sort of approach but overall he has a GOOD approach to Jack and the best he's getting at the moment. Dean calling out Sam for using Jack THAT loudly and angrily instead of gently critiquing his methods and asking Sam if he'd care if Jack couldn't get Mary back - that's something Jack can't overhear right now but super needs to.

Of course, Dean is the Worst Parent but he hasn't signed up for that role. He still has an influence over Jack and is too super pissed off to see Jack - and Jack is behind a wall, which takes us to Berens and 12x22 and the wall between Dean and Mary. Dean can't see Jack for what he is and that means he's saying all the wrong things and not even able to reach out to parent him.

Jack basically wakes Cas up to get him back so he can have a non-yelling parent who will be uncomplicatedly good and the angel who watches over him.

(More on that dynamic once they interact a bit)

The fact Sam summons the spectre of John to tell Dean that he told him to put a bullet in Sam... Of course Dean can refute what John said and that Sam deserves to be saved which is lovely but you know. Awful argument. Not really the time for that sentiment :P Dean can see Sam - knows and trusts him like no one else in the universe; even Cas in some respects, because Cas is complicated and it's always so messy, that he keeps on giving Cas trust but Cas leaves or does stuff Dean doesn't approve of, and Sam is generally easier for him to deal with...

(Also the complicated feelings about Cas)

Sam goes and demolishes that this is about Mary. That Dean might be SAD about her and losing her but that he knows as well as Sam that she's gone because she went into that fight willingly, to protect them.

Cas, on the other hand, Dean absolutely can't see past. Dean's *entire* problem with Jack is because he lost Cas. Because he looks at Jack and sees dead Cas. Sam can explain how Mary chose to punch Lucifer right in the face (hehe) in some easy steps, but Dean then spells out his perception on what happened to Cas because of Jack.

I am so not over how the only time I've seen Dean this angry with Sam is in 9x22 and he yells right in his face and - GAH. I mean he's been angry with him before but it was a cold, sad or defeated anger, usually with tears involved. This is wide eyed, crazed, Mark of Cain Dean, who then walked around the corner and flipped back to a smooshy smile because Cas was there.

And this fight is taking place in almost the same space of turf as that argument, because heeey war room where the wars take place.

At this point, after "you might be able to forget about that, but I can't", I am pretty sure that Destiel has just gone horrifically canon in like the worst possible way, that Dean calls out the difference in their feelings about Cas.

It's literally putting on the table "is sam a dick or does dean just love cas in a special kind of way"

and dear god, Sam is not a dick.

Sam is amazing.

But not as much as Misha Collins who got a special card with his name on and "starring" above it, just for opening his eyes and sitting up.

#my stuff #13x03 #season 13 spoilers #i'm just saying if you have to google 'does everyone feel like this' about something you're probably gay #even if it's a metaphor and you don't have a clue if deja vu works like that #reblog if you're gay and get deja vu a lot

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ayahne · 7 years

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i can’t write, i say as i write 8 pages on Word

I discussed this simple little idea i had with @adelmortescryche from 2AM to 5AM and now it’s not a little idea. A lot of ideas thrown mostly randomly together on the same fic idea i will never write cause i write baaaad.

I call it : EdRi!!! On Para-Ice

- When Yuuri arrives at Wayne State to major in buisness and become a pro skater, he meets the four people with who he's going to share lodging.

- Ling is his age, he's a Xingian diplomat son that want to keep it low-key, and he's majoring in political science. He's a funny, eccentric kind of guy, and he makes Lan Fan mad.

- Lan Fan is « totally not » his body guard, and she's majoring in chemistry. She's a strange blend of calm and hot-temper. He likes her.

- There's also Phichit, ; he's younger, but so nice and enthusiastic ; he wants to do photography. (he's Thai and doesn't speaks much english, but everyone helps him and stick colored notes cards to everything and he learns quickly).

- And there's Edward Curtis, who is half cyborg, hot tempered, foul mouthed and full of shit and loyalty. He's younger than him, but more advanced than him in his studies. (« He's a genius », explains Lan Fan.) They got on like a house on fire.

- Strangely, even if they're so different from each other, they share the apartment fine. Lan Fan and Ed go run in the mornings, Ling cooks, Yuuri and Phichit go to the ice ring... They fit.

- Ed is a bit hyperactive, and when Lan Fan is too occupied to spar with him, he gotta finds something to do. (« No Ed, you can't punch people in the face. ») He visits Yuuri and Phichit at the ice ring, and he tries a bit of skating ; it's challenging, he likes it.

- Yuuri starts to teach him simple figures : a single-toe-loop, a sit-spin... Ed spend his time falling on his face because the automails are destabilizing him, but he's tired and happy when he masters a new move. From there, you can't stop him. Skating becomes the escape to his problems, and the guilt he feels.

- He comes to every of Yuuri's event to cheer him on ; he manage the panic attacks like it's nobody's buisness, and Yuuri starts to feel more confident. It's great time, they have fun.

- But one day, there's an accident ; the huge score board fall on Yuuri that just finished his routine. They have to amputate his arm.

- Ed has lived this before, and acts quick. He's there through everything, the hospital ride, the hospital stay, the therapy. With the others, he persuades Yuuri to get an automail (« Hey, we match now. ») He never let him wallow in his depression, and he puts him back on his skates with his therapist acceptance.

- They fight, with all the others, through Yuuri's terror of the ice, and slowly, slowly, he finds back his love for the ice ; he starts to skate again, to being confident. Ed does it all with him, he's his crutch. (« I miss two limbs. If i can do it, you can do it better. » And Yuuri does.)

(beware of the cut)

- "dude you can fucking make a quint and fly on the ice " says Yuuri "dont care still jealous" answer Ed, and they laugh and Phichit posts it on instagram

- Yuuri's like, welp, if you can do it, I should at least try and everyone screams NO because he's older than Ed. Except Ed, who's rolling his eyes being like, he could totally do it, he's older than me and just as flexible.

- They're both ULTRA flexible

- Cue Ed teaching Yuuri how to make some of his fighting moves on ice

- Cue Yuuri teaching Ed more quads

- All those EdRi comments. The first few are just fujoshi slobbering over them and their bromance, then someone who actually knows something about skating figures out what they're seeing and they sCREAM.

- And the skating fandom has a meltdown.

- Phichit posting out of context photos, like warming up when they're in weird yoga poses, and it seems a bit more intimate than it is.

- With tags like '#MySmolSonsBeFlexi' '#MustNotLetEdSeeTagsHeWillSlayMe'

- Phichit and all the others being DEADLY TIRED than his frighteningly prodigious friends not getting recognition just because they've got automail.

- Doesn't people realise that automail makes it harder ?

- “It's easier with automail ?” * Ed proceeds to detach his own arm and dump it on the stupid fuck's lap who crumble under the weight. * “Try lifting something that weight more than yourself higher than your head, and even spin with something ressembling grace when you have a brick instead of an arm”.

- Pole dancing class as part of the automail recovery therapy. Yuuri smiles, and he's like, this was totally for medical reasons.

- The ports gets cold and hurt when they're too long in the ice ring, so for when they train Phichit knitted them horrible arm socks (and leg sock for Ed). Knitting is not Phichit forte, and the mitts are ridiculous at best.

- Yuuri's favorite is a kaki monstruosity with purple polka dots, orange stripes, and some brown squiggles that are supposed to be flowers.

- Ed's are one atomic pink with red hearts on it, and a blue one with barely recognisable hamsters.

- The photos of them with it become viral.

- He decides to go back to competing, and he slays the handisport section. He wins all of the gold medals in the juniors, and then in the seniors.

- He's got a new coach ; she's pretty, kind and maternal, attentive to his anxieties and the fact that Ed is basically is contra-phobic object ; she's perfect, and exactly what he needs. Her name is Gracia Hugues.

- For his galas, he always do something with Ed (and either they do funny shit things, either they some mind-numbing show of skills mixing Ed's talents in flying martial arts and Yuuri's adaptability- anyways they're breathtaking)

- There's a fanbase dedied to their bromance, and some people do RPF with them.

- Ed browsing deviantart and diying a little bit (but save the nice, bro, safe ones on his phone.)

- Yuuri reading fanfictions, selecting the crack fics and the AUs to laugh with Ed, Phichit and Lin. (and Lan Fan. She's there, silently laughing)

- They're so much more low key about the bromance than Phichit and Yuuri that people have a lot more opinions about their bromance. And are sure it's a romance.

- Yuuri obviously finds it hilarious.

- Ed and Yuuri doing shit like this on purpose.

- One day on tv, some jackass ask if he doesn't miss his limbs, and Ed answers "thats equivalent exchange" while looking at Yuuri. The shippers goes mad, Yuuri goes awww cause he knows Ed meant it very innocently

- They only pop up in Phichit, Ling, and Yuri social medias because they dont take vids themselves or photos and even less post them

- One day, there's an hORRIBLE rant made by a dude that says that Ed and Yuuri are lucky to have found the other because who would want any of those disgusting cripples

- and they're a bit hurt but not much because they told themselves the same thing since they got their accidents

- But Phichit sees red. He takes THE photo.

- the one after the showers after practice, where you can see skin, soft scars, glinting metal, muscles and cloth making it SFW, and no comment under it like he use to.

- It broke twitter

- (Yuri totally roasted the guy that DARED insult his idol.)

- Roy Mustang is an ex-man-single prodigy. He was adored by the public. When he retired, he decided he wanted to go into Amestrian politics (ie, the Army).

- He's the one that presented his old buddy from the army, Maes, to Gracia. (people all around the world whined when they announced that it was Maes marrying Gracia and not him.)

- Roy isn't sure if he's happy for both his friends because Maes became 1000% more annoying after meeting Gracia. (That's a lie, he loves them both and is more than happy.)

- When he became a state alchemist, his fans where like “fire alchemy ??? U SURE ?”

- Yuri Plisetesky is a die-hard Yuuri Katsuki fan, and he finds it unfair that

1. no same sex couple on the ice, and it sucks because those two could do some pretty awesome shit

2. Ed doesn't compete because not enough money and he don't care much for the competition ; he's there for the fun and for Yuuri

3. he'd love to skate on the same ice as Yuuri but, eh, handi sections and mainstream ones doesn't mix. He hates the federation so much.

4. no one knows about the handi athletes apart of Yuri and Otabek (because he whines at him) and he finds it the most irritating thing in the world, it's a TRAVESTY.

- And just, one day, he goes to Yuuri's ice ring, and he watches him, film him for future reference and manage to catch on film a *quad axel*.

- And the regular skaters, they're like "wait what" when they see the video of the first quad axel in history

- "but we don't know that guy"

- and Yuri goes in a screaming rant about how they're all stupid, it's “FUCKING YUURI KATSUKI YOU HEATHENS HOW DARE YOU FORGET HIM HE COULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST RIVAL FOR GOLD IF NOT FOR THAT ACCIDENT HE HAD TO LEAVE MAINSTREAM SKATING AND NOW YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HIM?!”

- And one day, Viktor, dense fridge that he is, find irl EdRi doing some figures in a public ice ring. He goes to Yuuri, says something like you skate nice, have you considered going pro, and ed punches him because the dunce doesn’t remember sharing the ice with Yuuri

- "I was too fucking kind i should have decked him with the metal one"

- Yuuri is nrgh between "he punched Viktor" and "am i that forgettable"

- Yuuri's also like Ed No Ed Stahp. While smiling happily because spiteful savage Yuuri. Who doesn't want Victor to get hurt, but he forgot.

- "We said no punching, Ed"

- ”Ed we talked about this.”

- ZE discussion they have all the time ; "Can i punch that dick in the dick" "No u cant"

- And he can only punch people if Yuuri is okay with it because everyone deem that if Yuuri thinks a dude deserve to be punched then he deserves it.

- If Yuuri thinks it's time to punch someone then it's time. Yuuri's everyone's moral compass. Except he isn't a good moral compass, because sometimes he's sassy and spiteful.

- Yuuri with really long hair after he stopped mainstream mens singles.

- First he was too depressed to cut it, then he realized it's easier for the automail. The hair gets stuck less in the joints and if they're long you can take them out easier.

- Al and Ed have been apart since they were 8 and 10 and they had the failed transmutation that left Al in a coma for 3 years with nearly no memories of his brother, and Ed without limbs.

- They went to different foster families ; Ed with Izumi and Sig, Al with the Rockbell. And Al doesn't remember Ed much, only what Pinako told him (he loved you more than anything, he was persuaded the accident is his fault)

- Olivia Armstrong is Ed social worker. The whole Briggs team work in social services.

- Ed refusing to search for his bro cause he's sure Al hates him, and, sure, Ed hates himself but not to the point of subjecting himself to that.

- Yuuri comforting him when he has nightmares about it, not saying a thing when Ed cries at night cause he misses Al.

- Phichit stalking the whole internet to update Ed on how Al is doing.

- Al being so admirative of E.Curtis works in "Alchemy Actual". Pinako wince in the background.

- Al finds it hard to connect E. Curtis to his brother because E. Curtis is notoriously secretive. No one knows anything about him.

- Al doesn't watch ice-skating, and isn't much a fan of phichit-chu. And no matter how many times he falls on a video of Edward C. he can't connect either of them to his brother. Pinako's starting to wonder if he's ever going to realise Ed-on-screen and Ed-the-alchemist is Ed his brother. She shighs in exasperation and wonder why he's so dense.

- May being Ling's pint sized badass little sister (one of many but his favorite even if loves giving her shit)

- May is irritating and wonderful and god he wishes he could introduce her to Al.

- May find Al by herself and is like “... most beautiful boy i've ever seen in my entire life omg”

- She posts photo of her and him on insta, and Phichit send them to Ed, he becomes crazy.

- Al being in a perpetual state of “Wait what” concerning her.

- “Beautiful girl came out of no where to talk to me and flirt with me and take pictures with me what'

- She starts talking alkahestry and suddenly he doesn't register her pretty face anymore she's clever who cares about pretty I can talk about alchemy with her !!!

- May finds him adorable

- Cue budding romance while their big brothers are having aneurisms on the side. Yuuri, Phichit and Lan Fan finds it hilarious.

- And at LEAST Ling can interact with his sister and NOW AL but ED REFUSES and he is sad and frustrated so he goes skating cause he has too much energy and "you can't punch people for the lolz Ed"

- Yuuri just sighs and pats him on the back while Ed screams at the sky and goes throwing quads all over the place.

- So frustrated he tries a quint toe loop, but "not a quad axel, i'm stupid but not dumb, only quadsuki can do that"

- Ed having super nice automail that Yuuri offered him with the skating money ("look, we match !", he says, a twinkle in his eyes, echoeing what Ed told him a few years ago.)

- Since Ed doesn't want to see the Rockbell and has a « 0 interaction » policy, Yuuri found that guy that lives in a remote part of Australia that does incredible machinery. They go once a year with the gang.

- Ed considering himself « toxic » to those he loves. Lan Fan decked him in the gut, Ling rolled his eyes so hard it had to be inscribed in a book of records, and Phichit insulted him in Thai. He tried this bullshit with Yuuri exactly once and never did it again.

- Mari straight up hit him with a pan. She reminds Ed of Izumi.("My foster mom hits me with her pan, too.")

- Following that sentence, people start to be suspicious about his foster mom, until they figure out Izumi and Ed love each other. Their love is just... violently displayed. And filled with martial art montages.

- Izumi and Sig already have a biological son when they adopt Ed. Aoi is totaly enamored with his « big brother »

- They adopted another child, a little girl named Nina. Her dad tried to kill her, and as of such she's sick. Her and Al are the reason he started studying organic alchemy in more depth.

- Envy is Ed biological punk rock but so nice older half-brother. He's androgynous and loves confusing people. ("Are you a girl or a boy ?" "no.")

- Envy avoids Al cause he feels guilty too. He felt he shoud have been there for his two lil bro, no matter how angry with their dad he was.

- When Ed and Envy gloom together, Lin/Phichit/Yuuri/Lan Fan comes to hit them and like "no we love you yes we said love shut up, up, we going petting rabbits"

- Hiroko, Izumi and Minako being BFFs and drinking together. It terrifies everyone. They comiserate about their spawns.

- Izumi's kid is in awe of Mari (as he should)

- EdxAngst + Yuuri/coming-to-terms-with-his-anxiety

- "Where did your... special style of skating came from, Mister Curtis ? *behind, a video extract where Ed is doing a double backflip on the ice, before launching into some capoara moves while Yuuri smiles and just cartwheels for the lolz*"

- Roy calling Ed “a backflipping maniac”

- Cuts to Ed doing a triple back flip and a single hand cartwheel or something right after. Just to see the expression on Roy's face.

- Roy having ten cardiac arrest a day. Riza laugh in the distance. (She laughs at his pain all the time)

- "Curtis, when your in an ice ring you spend more time in the air than on the ice, it's not natural"

- One of Phichit most liked photos is one of Yuuri and Ed twirling Elicia around

- Even if Ed isn't an official competitor, he has die hard fans, that calls themselves « Ed's Homunculi », and they're led by 5 people that nicknamed themselves with the primary sins.

- Yuuri snickers at just their mention. Ed complains all the time. (« NO FUCK LET ME GO IM NOT EVEN A PRO DONT PuT YOUR BOOBS IN MY FACE DONT EAT MY HAIR WTF. Why are you all so DISTURBING »)

- Envy founded the fanclub because he finds this deadly funny, now he’s mostly in charge of the social medias. Ed is horrified.

- Scar is married to Lust and follows her everywhere, to every competition sighing all the time.

- THE PRESIDENT OF HIS FANCLUB IS THE FUCKING FURHER OF AMESTRIS

- The idea of Amestris’s Furher being enamored enough with Ed's skating to give himself a stupid nickname kills all of his friends of laughter inside

- Aerugo is near greece

- Xing is in east asia

- Creta is near italia

- Drachma is between finland and sweden

- Amestris between germany and poland, and Ishval between poland and Austria

- Father couldn't arrange another full country array, and eventually decided to let it go.

- Envy's real name is Nichola Elric

- Lust is Veda Campos

- Wrath is King Bradley

- Pride is still Selim Bradley

- Gluttony is named Emilio Abatucci

- Scar is Luca Campos

- Izumi’s kid is named Aoi Curtis

#yoi #fma #edward elric #yuuri katsuki #headcanon #crossover fic #fic #fanfic #sort of ????#my writing #even if i'm not good at english BUT WATHEV'

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wandering-bitch · 3 years

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Annotations on Falling in Love with Love (Again)

FiLwL(A) is my 3zun cinderella which is actually just about the importance of qin su and also reuniting with your exes. Here’s my behind the scenes/notes/lore for chapters 9-11.

ch 9: nie mingjue being hot

i wrote this before i’d even written the Murder in ch 6;;;;; i just love nie mingjue

i so deeply believe in nie mingjue being smart and able to see through meng yao because he’s straightforward and strategic.

“hmm” i said to myself. “how do i write the bois getting together??” after much thought i decided on “by stabbing one of them a bunch”

bits of this are still funny to me. rip meng yao sometimes you gotta be up close and personal with a hot dude’s bare sweaty chest

also my version of “romantic and sensual” is just “doing math and deciding yeah, against your better judgement, you’re gonna smooch” because i love an overthinking murder twink

“on the bright side, the late-night guest was not jin guangshan’s type. unfortunately he was exactly meng yao’s type: nie mingjue” i can’t believe i let myself write this, bc it feels way too modern, but also the tone of this fic is just sarcastic enough that modern grouchy shit works

ever since i discovered that camel was a delicacy in tang china i became OBSESSED with it. i nearly included it in ‘i have always loved the door’ and it makes an appearance in ‘blood in the cut’

the guan reappears!! or at least is mentioned.in case u forgot it from chapter 1 it is Definitely Not A Glass Slipper Or Anything

“i love ruining a twink’s life” i said in the author’s notes. i was not lying. my hobbies are making nie mingjue look cool and making jin guangyao suffer.

“xichen was disappointed when he didn’t see you there” “and you of course, weren’t” “on the contrary i was happy to see you” is one of the exchanges that was like. core to this fic. similar to “i met someone” “i don’t know what you want me to say to that” “neither do i”

when outlining fics i tend to include some key dialogue/exchanges that strike me as the Mood TM and half the time these exchanges go through incredible rewrites or just get deleted, but it’s always nice to see them survive

the xiangqi was so much fun to write, not bc i have played the game a bunch (i haven’t) but bc it gave me a fun way to talk about the conversation without talking about the conversation.

“a controlled leak qould have been very useful” makes me so happy it’s such a MOOD and nie mingjue immediately going heart-eyes over it is complete wish fulfillment. when will a hot sword lesbian be enamored over my ruthless scheming???? im taking sword lesbian gf applications over in my ask box

“But it hadn’t been easy” this paragraph originally included “Nie Mingjue had broadened his moral compass, and Meng Yao had learned to trust” or something but i couldn’t really figure out how meng yao would describe his own personal growth since he left qinghe. like he DID grow he DID learn that he can trust the people he loves to trust him and that it’s worth bringing people in on your schemes and plans.... but he’s too dumb to describe this.

the xiyao troll’s comment on this was “LMFAO that oocness from both meng yao and nmj where nmj is suddenly JGY levels of cunning and JGY is dumb enough to make mistakes XD”

this has stuck with me so hard

how do you read Falling in Love with Love and only discover after 16k words that i think meng yao makes mistakes?????

how do u consume any adaptation of mdzs and think that nmj isn’t smart enough to go “huh that cunning twink who is absolutely mooning over me and xichen and also plays weiqi like my old buddy seems REAL FUCKING FAMILIAR” nmj canonically sees thru jgy machinations all the time

anyway i love nmj and the xiyao troll

did you know there’s an exchange to celebrate the troll’s works??? i discovered it after signups closed but im going to enjoy reading all of them

ch 10: and with very little trouble

this took me like a month to write oops but that’s just because a lot has to happen

the opening where meng yao is being mean to qin su was so hard to write. meng yao getting overworked?? fine. meng yao getting abused??? cool. meng yao being slightly short with his sister, who is in no way hurt by this bc she can tell it’s not about her??? HORRIBLE!!!

the detective scene happened. there’s not a lot to say about it, i don’t think, except to note that han meilin did try to stand up for qin su

ch 11: impossible things are happening every day

cinderella time mother fuckers!!! this is another one that took time!!

ch 10 took time bc i wasn’t 100% sure how it would play out

this took time bc even though i knew exactly what would happen and how, it has to be Real Good, y’know? it’s tying up the entire fic. if these 2k words don’t work, then the rest of the fic will feel less good and ppl won’t come back to it

(please everyone come back to this over and over if only to laugh at my obvious qin su agenda)

qin su and meng yao fighting over who gets to take the fall for their joint murder. i love them.

i wasn’t planning for this fic to start the sunshot campaign but here we are. in the war.

How did this version of the sunshot campaign go? Well. not good. because someone has no reason to invent necromancy. But not as poorly as you’d think. Jiang Sect isn’t destroyed, and the Cloud Recesses are functional (although not at full capacity), so they have more strength on hand. Plus, Meng Yao encouraged Koi Tower to funnel money and resources into the Qin Sect, specifically so if the war started before he expected it to (whoops!!! it did!!!!), those resources would be somewhere he could encourage to fight.

on the one hand, the sunshot campaign’s territory is divided in half by the wens. on the other hand, that means the wens are fighting on both the northern and southern border (since, again, jiang sect is still alive)

anyway i’d say it’s a more steady war, as opposed to my recollection of canon where like. everyone’s fucking miserable until our sexy goth boi comes out with his corpses and wrecks shop.

then han meilin and qin su look at their families and say “if you do not let us marry right now in a way that combines our sects equally...... we will just do it anyway.”

(meng yao in the background, holding a thin knife: fucking try me. try me. i want you to be mean to my sister just so i can stab you with my knives.)

anyway it’s time for the epilogue where meng yao is vice general and there is no more wen sect

(have i thought about the dafan wens in this ‘verse? no. i probably should not, either, as wwx would be less ride-or-die for them and that means maybe wen qing and wen ning would die in a war camp)

never mind!!! happy thoughts only!!!! like how qin su and meng yao are getting ready to kill again bc they are the bi crime sibling club!!!!

jin zixuan is invited to family brunch but he’s never invited to bi crime sibling club because qin su and meng yao refuse to let him lose his innocence.

“ge, jie, i’m married with children, i don’t have any innocence to lose--” “oh didi, precious baby, our infant brother, shining beacon of our heart...”

mo xuanyu is also forbidden from joining bi crime club. he’s too baby.

they do discover other jin bastards and invite them to lunch and sure, there might eventually be another bi criminal.

3zun visits each other in 2 month chunks, with one to two month breaks as needed. so the epilogue is the beginning of 2 months hanging out in meng yao’s house, and then later in the year they’ll hang out in the cloud recesses or whatever

qin su and meng yao both have secret lists of places to acquire babies for each other. han meilin knows about both of these lists and laughs every time she sees the same orphanages on both lists.

the final comment from the xiyao troll on this was: “Interesting choice to write a bland ooc AU, but I guess this is all you can manage with your writing skill. ;) This way you don't have to worry about JGY lying to Xichen for years, murdering NMJ, attempting to murder Xichen's family in the second siege, stealing secrets from the Lan sect, corrupting a healing song Xichen trusted him with, and fully betraying LXC's and NMJ's trust.”

like. yeah. of course i sidestepped the bad things. that’s what a fix-it au is for. it’s where i say “here’s an alternate universe, where certain bad things do not happen.” it’s where i say “if meng yao had always had qin su around to counteract the messaging his mother gave him, he might not have gone so far in his quest for power”. duh.

also like kiddo, troll, friend. the pitch for this fic is “cinderella except with murder and qin su rights”. i’ve been clear from the top that this is an Indulgent Fic with No Pretenses of Quality. im proud of some sentences and passages, but this ain’t Blood In The Cut where im tryna Say something or either of my jiang cheng-centric fics where im focusing on good characterization.

it’s a cozy murder where qin su gets to live and have a cool wife

#behind the scenes #my fic #falling in love with love

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