#and i know im young

[gently-decaying-flowers]

well that was awkward

#rant in tags #i coulda sworn i told my mom i didn’t wanna go to college #apparently not #she didn’t go tho so why was she so weird about it #and my brother “oh they’ve always been inconsistent about what they wanna do with their life #like yeah #and i know im young #but can’t yall just be supportive #i just wanna get a job and publish stories #i have dreams #i have things i wanna do with my life #why would i go to college and waste my energy and MONEY #on a degree i’m probably not going to use!! #i would rather save my money to move out and write and care for myself #i just don’t think college would benefit me #my mom of all people should understand that #sorry i’m not successful like my brother is #sorry i’m not winning awards and being an adult #sorry i don’t live up to anyone’s FUCKING standards #i hardly live up to my own #i just want a future where i’m happy #and i guess academic and creative success and achievements are the only way ill have any sort of life #sorry i’m not a top student #sorry i’m not a perfect writer #sorry i’m not good enough #vent #char’s diary

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[sleepyrogues]

amanda young, the jigslay killer

#this is dumb and im going thru an art block where i dont know what my style wants to be #so enjoy these silly designs #amanda young #saw #saw x #dead by daylight #dbd fanart #my art #saw fanart

[omrarchive]

#guys i cant believe this is real this is everything ive ever wanted #WILLE ABDICATION??? WILMON ENDGAME??? wille is free he's free they're both free #look at simon's face oh my GOD #ive never seen him this happy euphoric and liberated #that's CINEMA! #i have so many things to say about this ending #“are you sure you're over me” “what the hell do you think” #when wille says “can you open the door?” as he leaves the car and leaves the cage that is the monarchy #the door is open!!!! there is sunshine on his skin!!!! he is free oh my god #i know i havent been making gifs im sorry i promise they are coming #good god that is Television to me #young royals #yr season 3 #yr s3 spoilers #young royals s3 #young royals season 3 #wilmon #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #omar rudberg #edvin ryding #wilhelm x simon #wille x simon

[sentient-forest]

#cecilsweep and Welcome to Night Vale trending #1 in 2023

#welcome to night vale #wtnv #ive said it before but people not knowing wtnv makes me feel old #i remember the days before cecil had a canonical last name #so tumblr just gave him the jonathan sims treatment #aka called him cecil baldwin (the voice actor's name) #wtnv will always have a special place in my heart as my first fiction podcast #cecil palmer #cecilsweep #oh to be young and queer and stumble upon a funky little gay podcast about a horiffic and absurd little town #yes i am just reusing my tags from my last post #added a description #glad yall are enjoying my shitty meme #i made it while half-awake and unable to sleep because my tummy hurt :( #follow me for more shitty podcast memes #im currently going feral for malevolent #important note: girlies is gender neutral #tumblr sexyman poll

[daiwild]

Wonder Girl V3:

But as mad as I was at Hercules for pulling that crap... I wasn't... I mean, I should've been... I could've been wrecked that it wasn't Conner, that he was still... gone. But... look at me, I'm not a big mess...

Meanwhile:

Tim beating up Dick in the back of a Waffle House just to get some Lazarus Pit Juice so he can revive his dead best friend

#old thingie i found #wonder girl takes place after the cloning fiasco iirc #and at this point tim was lowkey moving on #but i just found the dichotomy funny #cassie: guys im finally moving on yippee #tim: what if i d!ed in paris #timkon #tim drake #conner kent #cassie sandsmark #young justice #dccomics #archiving eeblydeebly #longpost #YES cassie joined a cult. i know. that was messed up #i dont want to compare grief here *proceeds to compare* #i could go on and on about tims lil freak brain but ill just say #cassies descent into grief made me feel sad. tims spiral into grief scared me a lil #daiwild

[fluffyartbl0g]

If you asked me to describe them in one picture it would be this

Here’s the scene in question ^^^^ ITS SO GOOD ITS SO GOOD ITS SO GOOD

And here’s the exact screenshot I redrew

#one piece #op fanart #monkey d. luffy #revolutionary sabo #portgas d. ace #curly dadan #asl brothers #i keep thinking of that post of someone wondering why sabo is depicted so batshit insane in fanon #and the person answered that it was prolly mainly because of the ‘crack your egg like a skull’ line #but then i watch stuff like this. and i see that absolutely crazed look in his eyes even at the young age of 10 #and im like. THAT MAN WAS BATSHAT INSANE FROM THE START #this whole food fight scene is so dear and integral to my love of the asl bros ihope you know #its an anime only scene too XDDD

[mischievousspooks]

He brought home a heat lamp.

#flat fuck friday #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie #hamato donatello #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt leo #hamato leonardo #rottmnt michelangelo #rottmnt mikey #hamato michelangelo #rottmnt raphael #rottmnt raph #hamato raphael #turtle tots #rottmnt splinter #hamato yoshi #young dad yoshi #with many baby mutant ninja turtles #naptime interrupted by shenanigans #turtle tot pancake stack #bellyflop gone wrong #poor donnie got so squished he's so much flatter now #and when one baby starts crying you know the others are gonna start #dad to the rescue! #mischievousspooksart #omgthis took so long to make ive literally been working on it for weeks but im so happy with how it turned out i really hope yall like it!!

[chairs-stuff]

some stuff

#i know im late for christmas but idgaf #anyways happy new years everyone #scott pilgrim #scott pilgram takes off #gideon graves #matthew patel #young neil #stephen stills #patelgraves #gravespatel #back on my yaoi shit

[willows-woes]

it's the beginning of pride month, so i'd like to give a shout out to:

aromantics/aro-specs

asexuals/asexual-specs

pansexuals/omnisexuals/bisexuals [any m-spec identity]

transgender people, nonbinary people and multigender people

lesbians and gays

nonbinary [spec], multigender or genderfluid lesbians and gays

people who reclaim slurs

people who are uncomfortable reclaiming slurs

neurodivergent queer people

mentally ill queer people

people who use microlabels and frequently feel unrepresented

people who just use "queer" and move on without going into detail

genderfluid people

people questioning their gender and/or orientation

people who feel like their orientation changes

straight trans people, straight asexuals/aromantics and mspecs in straight relationships

closeted people

unlabelled people

people with many labels

people who can't come out because of potential danger

people who are out and proud

people using xenogenders

people using neopronouns

and anyone who i forgot.

#queer #lgbtqia+ #pride month #i know my words dont matter. im just a sad blog on tumblr run by a young teenager #but i want you to have a good month. a good life actually.

[wingsofhcpe]

actually there's a huge difference between queerbaiting/"Hey guys look how gay these two are haha they're definitely gonna end up together, give us views uwu oh- never mind oops they're going to superhell" and "Hey it's 2004-2012 and there's no way we can get away with having our protags/main couple be two gay men but we really want to show these two are soulmates so we'll do it through subtext and underlying messages and by literally telling you over and over again their relationship is the most stable and important in the entire show, and the ending will imply they lived and died together", and it's insane that some of yall don't see how these two are not the same fucking thing.

#saw a very Shit Take about hilson earlier and im like. hm. some of yall have no idea what gay rep was like before 2016ish and it shows! #i feel like usa queer ppl have forgotten that this is actually still the norm about queer rep in most non-USA places #or are young enough/new enough in fandom that they dont know this was actually the most we'd get at the time #like if it was queerbaiting it would eventually be played as a joke Haha No Homo #but it wasnt. like. their relationship was shown to be THE most stable and important one in both their lives & the show overall #they literally destroyed their LIVES to be with each other. repeatedly. #anyway i could write an entire 10 page thesis on the matter but i have an actual exam in three hrs so. another time #house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #gregory house #house x wilson

[theygotlost]

family iconograph at koom valley ♥

#discworld #terry pratchett #sam vimes #sybil ramkin #samsybil #thud! #samuel vimes #sybil vimes #young sam #mine #I SPENT DAYSSSSS ON THIS............ PLEASE LOOK AT IT 😭 #I dont normally have cause to draw babies but when i do.... jesus christ look at that little thang #also i know i cant draw backgrounds. IM SORRY

[mugentakeda]

#ive been in agony from my period all day today so my chosen projection victim this time gets to be zuko instead of jin for once #jin is my usual victim. #also i think its good that zuko was banished when azula was too young to get hers and that he didnt stay long in the fn before joining aang #because i personally think that if they synced up they wouldve actually killed each other #none of the zuko and kataras i draw are shippy because im a diehard kataang but feel free to see this as however u want cus irdgaf #katara #zuko #trans zuko #or genderbent zuko even. because you guys know my girl zuko is butch so id just draw her the same as i always draw zuko hahahaha #atla #avatar the last airbender

[baischroe]

save me timkon………. superrobin save me…..

#timkon #my art #tim drake #kon el #conner kent #dc comics #kontim #young justice #tim x kon #kon kent #i know ive been gone for a HOT MINUTE (3-4 years??) but im BACK BAYBEE #idk what other tags enjoy #red robin #superboy #dc robin

[rookdaw]

monster X monster hunter

#baldur’s gate #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #astarion #wyll #I AM SOOOOOO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THESE TWO #IMAGINE BEING PERFECT FOILS OF EACH OTHER #BOTH TURNED INTO MONSTERS AGAINST THEIR WILL #imagining young wyll trying to court astarion and just being so genuine about it #as one of his first loves he wants to do everything right but is still overall (fairly) new to the whole thing #vs astarion who is much more cynical after 200 years of seducing victims #he knows how to play someone’s heartstrings like anlite and is overall very detached from the whole thing only #doing it to make aure wyll wont murder him or something #but then selune forbid it he starts to develoP FEELINGS FOR HIM KSDBBSJAJA #and then just as astarion starts to fall into love wyll almost falls out of it as he realizes astarion was LYING to his face the whole time #about liking him #and then there is DRAMA and a secret slow burn underneath what you THOUGHT was a fast burn #AHEM. anyways. #im gonna draw more of these two cause wyll is soooo slept on #pictured this as early in their meeting/relationship which is why wyll doesnt have horns yet #also *anlite i meant to type *a lute but shaky fingers #rip no tag editing

[beastofwant]

ohhh so this saga just will not end, okay!!!

last month I started an emergency fundraiser because the situation with my neighbor, who has been showing stalker-like behavior, escalated to the point where I no longer felt safe staying in my apartment. here's that original post

I'd remade my tiktok a few weeks ago after several years of inactivity to use for venting & vlogging. it had like no followers + just two videos uploaded. I got this text immediately after I saw him at the top of the stairs to the ground floor as I was coming back in from checking the mail. I had the "find by contacts" shit all turned off so idk HOW he found my tiny nothing tiktok (it's privated now) but he decided to send me this message about it. some of the things he mentioned in the text (like listening at my door???? I said listening to hear my door open/close but not listening at it) aren't even things I talked about which is also raising some alarm bells.

I haven't responded to his texts in months but he continues to send them and now it's shit like this. I am truly beyond words. it's incredible how the second he is confronted with how weird his behavior is I am "evil". I didn't film him, I didn't post any identifying information other than "my creepy upstairs neighbor" and now he is mad that the shoe fits when he's the one that tried it on.

My lease is up at the end of the month regardless, and I'm hunting for apartments actively. I need to get out of here, and I'm doing everything in my power to do that, but I need help with application fees, transportation and moving costs, and a deposit. I'm seeing a place on the 11th (tomorrow, as of when I write this) that seems promising and really hope it ends up being the one. I'm sorry I've had to post about this so much, but mutual aid has legitimately been the only way I have ever been able to pull myself out of a hole like this. even just a few dollars does help.

v3nm0 is alumirust c4sh4pp is $doppelgougar p@yp44l is [email protected] buy some of my art GFM fundraiser link

#could it be that I- a chaser harassing this random trans person- am in the wrong? #No. It's clearly the random trans person I have arbitrarily decided is everything I need in life despite being young enough to be my child #who is at fault here! #fucking. hell. #he knows I have ptsd from domestic violence btw I talked about it to him once before he was overtly creepy and i thought i could trust him #he literally started being worse AFTER that and i was like oh. oh that was a mistake and im naive. #idk its a nightmare i really want to be over with soon