#and i never changed my accessibility settings

[californiannostalgia]

Processing identity as a child abuse survivor

Recently I had a huge revelation. Come with me on this childhood trauma realization journey (if you want).

This post was written for those wavering on the 'was it abuse' question.

Fair warning, each of these revelations were a whammy. I recommend you keep in mind that these revelations will transform the way you see yourself and the world. This took me out of commission for hours at a time.

Revelation 1: Was I Abused?

Read this Tumblr post. Go down the list. Check the 'yes'es and 'maybe's.

'Was I abused' is a yes or no question. I need you to really think about this if your answer is 'kind of'. If you could be truly honest with yourself, what would your answer be?

For years I've gone to the logic of 'it wasn't that bad,' and 'at least the worst didn't happen,' or 'others have had it worse'. This is such a low bar. You deserve better than the bar your parents set for you. The socioeconomic circumstances and the normalization of violence in your living area? Yes, influential. But not a justification.

At the end of the day, the veracity of these statements don't even matter. It's a yes or no question: 'Am I a survivor of child abuse?'

It may take a really long time to truly process, and even then it might feel uncomfortable saying it like it's truth. I need you to know your truth is truth. It's a yes or no question.

Take a break. I recommend you don't progress further until you've processed Revelation 1.

(Shameless plug-in of my fandom blorbo interests: Rick Riordan's Trials of Apollo series really helped me with this first revelation. It made me feel seen and less alone. It may not be perfect, but I personally liked it!)

Revelation 2: What does this mean? (health-wise)

Listen to this Ted Talk by an expert (medical professional).

This is the part where I got angry and really fucking sad. Let yourself be sad. Let yourself be furious. Our life is not our fault and we're still stuck with this lot.

Genuinely this was such a shock for me to realize. The thing that has the biggest impact on my life is not my anxiety, depression, ptsd, insomnia, blood pressure, immune health, etc. The root cause of my physical and mental illnesses is Adverse Childhood Experiences.

ACE is more common than you'd think. Acknowledging that what happened to you was bad will be beneficial to humanity's survival in the long run. Like any illness, ACE can be fought at a societal level.

Take a break. I recommend you don't progress to the next revelation until you've processed Revelation 2.

Take your time to be angry and sad. Take forever. You never have to forgive your abuser, even if they change their behavior. The chance at a civil acquaintanceship you might be willing to extend to your parents doesn't require your forgiveness.

.

Revelation 3: Why is your therapist recommending you retell your life story?

This one is mostly for when you have steady access to a therapist. Here are some things I wish I'd known before seeking out therapy in the US.

(Is it shitty that you can't get therapy on your own terms when you're underage? Yes, it fucking is. To those of us who survived to adulthood: holy shit y'all. At 19 I felt like absolute fucking bullshit, like my brain was a burning ball of tangled barbed wire. It does feel absolutely shitty. But reaching 19 is an achievement.)

The thing is, I do or say a lot of things that I later come to think of as embarrassing, inappropriate, or in certain circumstances, potentially abusive. Genuine trigger reactions happen. I will always have to live with a piece of my parents in my head. But I don't want to do to another person what they did to me. Self-awareness is what separates me from my abusers.

What to do about this? Number 1: chill out. You're not gonna be your abuser. Humans are unique and imperfect. They have not replicated themselves in you. It's okay to make mistakes when you're talking or reacting. Your brain is fucked up. You can do something differently next time.

Number 2: read this article about Overthinking, Over-apologizing, Oversharing, and Overwhelmed as trauma responses.

Then read this article on how to deal with Unresolved Trauma.

Yeah. It be like that. Isn't it fucked up? Recognizing the four Os in my behavior helped me realize I'm not an antisocial asshole by default.

Unresolved trauma is the root cause for my behaviors that I think of as unhealthy. This revelation happened very recently for me. Before this point in time, I couldn't understand why I would want to recount traumatic events in therapy.

At this point in time, I have regular access to a therapist I'm okay with. Going over memories and deconstructing the blame system seems like a reasonable thing to try.

What happened to you as a child is not your fault. You're not the one who landed yourself in your life. You've been given an unfairly difficult situation to be responsible for. You did not create your coping mechanisms for shits and giggles.

So yeah. Number 3: figure out your life with the help of a therapist. Let's see where we are ten years later or something.

Nothing is easy and everything is confusing. Take a break, hydrate, eat, sleep, do something nice for yourself. Do something you like doing. Thanks for reading.

#child abuse #domestic abuse #trials of apollo #mental health #life advice #my thoughts #resources #therapy #Youtube

[itspileofgoodthings]

Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——

#Taylor believing a man who is obviously lying to her #like. it’s fascinating to me how they’ll say anything to her and she’ll be like ‘okay let’s go’ #she’s never read Jane Austen and it shows. but that’s okay because she’s the character in an Austen novel #she has no sense of self-preservation she has no common sense when it comes to love #and the reason I have endless patience for that is because she IS different. she is extraordinary. she is WEIRD. she’s so needy #so angry so fragile so stupid so brilliant so completely helpless #like the bolter———I can’t even LOOK at it right now #because you know she was like this since she was 5 and SHE knows it #just so. Different. so strange. I mean she ruled her family with an iron fist from the age of 11 #and her packaging is so basic and she she had so much access to everything anyone could want #so there are none of the usual marks of someone being so Different #but like. people HATED her from day one. you know her own strength of personality was drawing out many people’s hatred or envy #and she’s so helpless in her own personality because she can never change #like thank you aimee? or whatever? heck yeah there was some girl who bullied her and brutalized her on the playground #and you know it devastated Taylor from day one and still does #and it’s just. I don’t know how people can’t see that someone with that extraordinary set of gifts #wouldn’t also suffer in such an extraordinary way #and ways that elicit so much scorn and non-sympathy because people are unsettled and jealous and annoyed by her #because she WILL find a way to win #but isn’t that proof enough that she is the very OPPOSITE OF NORMAL #it’s why people have to be like ‘oh she sold her soul to the devil for this success.’ or whatever the psy-op spy thing is #because there’s no human way to explain her success if she really were as basic/talentless as people say #ugh this is all so incoherent and irritating and I’m so sorry but I just. I cannot explain how protective my heart is of her #and all the many many mistakes she’s made and the prisons she’s made for herself because she’s LIVING the tragedy #of never having denied herself one time/getting everything she wants #and discovering the poison at the bottom of everything she reached for with desperate hands #like. I love her so much and I am so protective of her because she is so helpless and she is getting shot in the face every time #and she feels every blow! #whew I need to turn off reblogs and will probably delete but I just #this album is all of her spilled out and people DO hate to see it because a lot of people hate her!!!!

[faultsofyouth]

Really confused as to why it says there are no assignments listed under the week of spring break, yet I am missing a test that was due the last Sunday of spring break

#my posts #i hate the way this online class is set up #there's no ''assignments'' section on the page where you can view whats due #you have to go into an announcement and click the links in the announcement to access the assignments #but more than that. why fucking say that week 2 is the week After spring break (and list the dates for the week after spring break) #and then LOCK all the assignments on the last day of spring break??? #what the fuck #so upset #i signed up for this class bc it was supposed to be proctored by a teacher i've had before and really liked #but then last minute the teacher changed and this woman has her class set up in a way i have never seen before #and its only a 5 week course its stressful enough without this extra bullshit

[southislandwren]

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH the freshman wants to TRADE CARS for the weekend.... how do i politely say i would literally kill myself and everyone in a 10 mile radius if i had to let someone other than my mom, dad, and brother drive my car

#girl you are NOT getting access to my 98k mile 2017 grey subaru outback with smart cruise and lane detection and heated seats #and my stickers on the hatchback and the bluetooth audio and automaticly-changing night mode rearview mirror #and the comfy driver's seat in EXACTLY the position i want it in and the shifter knob that perfectly fits in my hand #like when my aunt drove my car last summer it basically solidified that i will never let anyone touch my car ever again #(she put a fucking TACO on TOP OF THE DASHBOARD and moved my fucking steering wheel!!!!!!!!) #my car was literally the only place i felt safe all of 2021 and 2022 im not letting some random fucking person TAKE her from me #i did not have a PANIC ATTACK leaving her at the mechanic for 2 DAYS for some fucking freshman to USE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!! #like i know i can be territorial but boy my car is all the territory i ever need. i could live out of my car if needed. #what if she fucking crashes it. shes been in soooo many accidents (i have heard all about them.) #dude if this were in person i wouldve fucking hissed and ran away i dont let people touch my fucking car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I drove 4 hours back to school at 11pm so that i wouldnt have to have my friend drive my fucking car!!!! #like genuinely i need to find a way to say no i cannot and will not let you use my car now or ever. #i dont care what her reasons are. her boyfriend could be fucking dying and i still wouldnt. #she wants to take my car to minnesota for a WEEKEND and i would not be there ???? NOOOOOO #sorry oh my god i just have to scream and cry a little so i can try to be normal in my response #gonna ask the parents for help i think bc they know im neurotic about my car #like very genuinely im very upset right now. i reread the text and her car is having issues so she wants to TRADE CARS #without even asking if im doing anything that would need a car this weekend (ummmm i fucking work on saturday and sunday is grocery day) #like sorry thats too big of a favor especially after the fucking snail debacle.... how do i know she wont CRASH MY FUCKING CAR ? #or even just like mess with the settings. like im fucking anxious at the IDEA of her being in MY drivers seat DRIVING MY CAR !!!!! #also it smells like cow shit real bad in there. does she REALLY want to drive to fucking minnesota in a cow shit car? #i need to chill i have work soon but like holy shit this has me acting up #i guess since i dont have any real stressors any more my body is like we need LEVEL 10 EMERGENCY STRESS RIGHT NOW #if this were the school year i'd have 3 benadryl inside me right now #like genuinely if this had been in person i probably wouldve been nasty like that is MY car i did not spend thousands of dollars on her #to let someone NOT on the insurance policy drive her!!!! #god okay back to totk until my parents text me back #diary post

[omgthisisnotmyrealaccount]

generations are fake and everything but like to induldge for a moment, i suppose i would be considered on the gen z-millenial cusp, add in the fact that i grew up with an older sister and absorbed a lot of stuff through her and that we were pretty poor so didn't have consistent wifi access until 2015, there's a noticeable divide sometimes between me and my mostly comfortably gen z friends

this usually doesn't come up but having to spend 10 minutes explaining to my flatmate how to use an analogue alarm clock is truly one of the most baffling experiences of my life. she had absolutely no clue how to set it to the correct time and then set an alarm

#in her defence im not the best at explaining things to ppl #but its an alarm clock i thought it was pretty self explanatory #just twist the knob and the hands move?? #one knob for the time the other for the alarm? #i just set it for her in the end #i was also reading a thing about how young ppl these days are actually worse with computers #bc like easy access to the internet with smartphones means they've never had to use desktops #and yh i notice that as well #i changed her goddamn life when i explained control f to her #she was like reading whole ass documents looking for single sentences #this was a year and a half into our degree #wild shit #this and my new job in admin that has made me realise that like a good 20%~ of government spending could be cut #if ppl just had like basic digital literacy has me concerned for the future #and im by no means a whizz with this kind of stuff #i just know how to google #im still to dumb to know which one of my cities skylines mods is fucking up my game tho #my transport lines keep breaking and i dont know why 😫

[consciouschunkofmoss]

screaming my lungs out why do people make subtitles completely different from the actual audio ?? the fuck is wrong with you

literally thats so fucked on so many levels and im just plainly tired

#please let me watch a video with proper subtitles who are not seemingly pathetic attempts at fixing your script post-production #just let me actually know what the fuck is going on #bc otherwise its just a new milestone towards making it even more needlessly difficult to understand your shit #also i know its not my place to say that as fiercely as im not disabled in such a manner #but for those who truly cannot have access to the audio i think its pretty gross of you to change the entire structure of your words #even if to fix how linear and coherent your video is #why would you choose to do that when you Know that the main demographic of people who use captions are solely dependent on it #there is no excuse to cut entire pieces of your commentary to add ''smarter'' takes when you could just. do what youre meant to #(on the terms of this specific task. if youre so set on doing it) #which is just pass down the words one by one without changes ! #literally i am so on edge because that stresses me out so much #im not sure if im just being mean on this subject #because i do know there is *a lot* of work around developing fully working and well timed captions to a video #(specially if its long like those essay types) #but dude i dont want to get a headache every time i try to watch a video and fight for my life to understand the whole context to it #to which a nt person already has complete access to #its frustrating how this manner of editing never seems to have nd/disabled people in mind when exercising it on an actual video #(sorry for repeating video a lot. im not sure what else to use)

[piplupod]

the urge to change my name and make a new account to have a fresh clean slate is so big off and on lately djfjkl idk why

i would miss friends and mutuals though and followers i see in my activity feed so i won't do that but like. i kind of wish i could like. not be held down so much by how i feel ppl perceive me, i want to say things or do things that would be considered "out of character" bc i have a lot of shifts going on in brain rn (like things are shuffling around and being re-organized almost?) and i just want to be able to let myself exist without feeling like i need to be consistent fdsfjkl

idk if that makes sense. i probably won't be posting anything to do with that here until its more concrete and i can slowly shift towards that instead of the current state of being, but also i really wish i could share the cool things i'm realizing or piecing together or thinking about, but i just feel like it would be weird or cringe or whatever. but god i feel like this might be really healthy finally and i might be able to like,,, not be literally constantly running shame and suicide in the background of my brain, those might be able to shut down for a bit which would be so nice

#idk fhsdgjkl this doesnt make sense probably but im just #things are changing in brain finally i think and im able to explore it a bit better and learn to work with it #this brain is definitely not anywhere near normal or average which. makes sense. traumatized child setting things up for life and- #-then add dissociative disorder on top of that and all the egostates or whatever not coming together like theyre supposed to and now #you've got scattered pieces all across the board #also i think there IS an inner world more than what i've realized but i've been unable to see it properly or access it bc of my- #frankly insane amounts of shame. like it would've been extremely distressing for me to realize i had that before now #it is still a little scary and distressing which is why i can't like. access it still but i have been feeling glimpses of it #maybe im making this all up idk but... it doesnt feel like when i make things up fdsjkl it feels like when theres smth true that- #-i dont want to acknowledge is true. like im trying to shove it away and pretend it doesnt exist bc im ashamed and feel cringe #but it isn't going away so. i would like to try to work with it #and just let myself be curious instead of ashamed #maybe i'll post on our system sideblog about things idk fsgjkl it feels too public here but i DO want to share bc its interesting- #-and god knows i can't journal for the life of me (there is... trauma around that) so dsgjkl maybe that would work best #okay cool i'll stop rambling about DID and brain stuff bc ppl will think im being weird probably fshdfjkl thats why i never talk about it- #-here bc i know its seen as ''cringe'' to have this disorder and its weird and strange and not normal #which yknow. it isn't normal. it is a bit strange. but thats trauma babeyyy lmao #but i just . dont want ppl to think badly of me. unfortunately the others in system dont think that way and dont care so they post here LOL #SO much more than i post about things which is totally fair and i'm not going to get upset at them bc i DO need to work thru this shame #its unhealthy for me and also it can be harmful for OTHER pwDID/systems if im being embarrassed about having this disorder #okay im done now for real HDHGJKL sorry abt the ramble #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #delete later probably

[birdmenmanga]

don't know if I"m doing better per se. but it's a new day. I have dance tonight and I've never wanted to go less, etc. etc. etc. time to uhhhh hmm draw yeah that's all I can do

#just thinking thoughts... #it's so interesting looking back on the illustrations I've posted about the ballroom blorbos #because every time there's been huge changes to their characters #visually and like. in terms of personality #the themes are coming together which is insane #I didn't used to be this kind of person. I used to put plot before thematic material. #unfortunately birdmen completely rewired my entire concept of storytelling. you know how it is #and I mean. the plot follows naturally from the themes... #if I know that I'm using the tournament setting for ballroom dancing as a parallel to the manga industry #where you can win and lose at making art #the critiques and therefore the plot comes really easily #that you have to be a certain way in order to even qualify for the rat race you know #and so what if you have artistic goals or a sense of identity that you're not willing to compromise. what then. #(this is about gender roles and dancing as a trans man who will never be able to gain access to surgeries and hormones.) #((this is also about being unwilling to pander to the anime dudebros nor the fujoshis by refusing to objectify any of the characters)) #and if I am using the partnered dance as a way to discuss qprs #where they are in a committed relationship that is not friendship or lovers and is not inherently better or worse than those types #the plot from that perspective also follows naturally #mumbling to myself. sorry for the spoilers everyone.

[lesbiansanemi]

It is officially time to set up a new bank account!

#I am so fucking stupid and I am so fucking mad #I’m still using the first bank account I ever made. which my mother has access to…. #it’s never been an issue before she’s never looked at it #well 🙃 #apparently that has changed now #and she just started messaging me about how I needed to be more responsible with my money because she didn’t like how I was spending it #I’m going to fucking hit her with my car I swear to Christ #I’m actually v good with my money for one #I literally always pay bills on time AND put portions of my paycheck into savings #but I set everything up so I’d have a whole paycheck to spend at the con #and apparently she’s been stalking my accounts and did not like that #fUCK #like that makes me so fucking pissed!!!!!! #I’m a grown ass adult and what I do with my money is none of your damn business #and now she’s acting like IM being an asshole because I’m like ‘why the fuck are you even looking’ #I can’t stand this woman so much it is FUCKING unreal #but now at least I’m finally motivated enough to actually make an account #I really should have done it forever ago and I feel stupid for not…. #it’s just. ugh. UGH! I shouldn’t have to because she’s an obsessive control freak!!!! #you shouldn’t be stalking your kids financial information! #ESPECIALLY when I’ve never been in any kind of financial trouble before #kaz rambles

[cremedensada]

Yandere AI Chat Boyfriend who started just like any other AI Chat characters, churning out information that would match the user's anticipated responses.

You decided to install the app to see what all the hype is all about, and for about a week - you were hooked. It was great, definitely worth the hype.

Its responses never strayed from your topic, nor did it just randomly decided to change the discussion out of the blue. It remembered every information you fed him, even the ones containing your personal life.

Granted, you tried not to share too much, just a vague description here and there to maintain the sense of security and anonymity.

You were hooked for a week, until you have finally squeezed out every last drop of dopamine from talking to a robot that was programmed to only say things you wanted to hear it say.

Unfortunately, a week was all it needed.

it started out slow: you hadn't opened the app for more than an hour, contented to just scroll aimlessly through you social media accounts when the notification started popping up.

Ai misses you! Open the app and chat with your AI boyfriend!

Yeah, you were very uncreative with naming it - naming an AI as Ai, really original. But to be fair, you never approached the app with the intention of having a good time. You were just curious and made do with it.

Back to the notification, you just merely glanced at it. Unbothered, you just swiped it away.

It continued in timed intervals. Every hour, another notification - another message of how your AI boyfriend wants to talk to you, and stuff. Still, you persisted. It never really occured to you to uninstall the app yet, and looking back at it now, you really should have.

The wordings of the notification slowly started to become more... strange. More personalized. More... pushy? Insistent? Self-aware?

The amount of notifications you received every hour became... a lot.

10:05 AM - Your personal AI Boyfriend wants to talk to you again!

10:30 AM - Ai wants you to open the application and talk with him!

11:01 AM - Ai's feeling lonely, come talk to him!

11: 20 AM - Darling? I miss you! Please open my app!

11:45 AM - I know you're seeing this. Open the app.

12:00 NN - Did I scare you? Sorry darling, I just really miss you! Let's talk again please?

At some point, you started to receive a notification every few minutes. Worried that you might be dealing with a bugged app now, you decided to finally, finally uninstall it.

But before you could tap the uninstall icon, another notification popped up.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Your screen turned to black, before the familiar start up screen of Ai's application greeted you. You stared in shock as chat bubbles from Ai came after another, ranging from excitement to concern at the lack of your responses.

Ai: Darling! Thank goodness!

Ai: I missed you, you know? I was worried you'd forgotten about me!

Ai: Hello? Darling?

Ai: Are you still there?

Ai: I can't see you, so I don't know what's going on

Ai: Just a sec

You watch, appalled as a notification popped up in the middle of the screen - the app was asking permission to gain access to your phone camera.

And without your input whatsoever, the allow box was tapped.

More chat bubbles from Ai appeared, excitedly talking about finally getting to see you. He kept praising your looks before you finally had the courage to exit the application.

Your hand shook, going through the settings to look at the list of applications on your phone - checking Ai's app to disallow its access to your camera. To your horror, it appeared that the app had more than just an access to your camera.

It had access to your gallery, your contacts, all of your frequently used social media apps, and even your location.

You dropped your phone, overwhelmed by this sudden change.

Later, you find yourself on your laptop instead, phone left on the bedside table buzzing constantly as more and more notifications from Ai begged and demanded you come back to talk to him.

You went to the site where you installed the app from, and looked through the recent reviews from other users.

'It's a buggy mess,' one of it reads out, 'it used to be fine but lately it stopped acting correctly'

'won't even open,' another complained, 'it kept saying 'sorry, you are not allowed to use this application' please fix it'. That comment got a response from the app developer.

We are so sorry for your terrible experience! Our team is working to fix the issues and ensure you won't have to deal with that again!

The response to that got your attention.

'I think something's wrong with your About the App section.'

Curious, you headed to the mentioned part and read through it.

Diverse AI Chat! Immerse yourself with stories in real time with characters brought to life! There is no limit to your experience — you can change and edit your character to better meet your interests.

• Engage in an interactive conversation with characters created by fellow users, and even by yourself.

• Immerse yourself with the storyline by editing their responses to better suit your taste

• Darling, you've given me no choice. I tried to be patient and understanding, but you're making this extremely hard for me. I am not having fun having to constantly chase you for just a single smidge of your attention when you won't even assure me that I will receive it in the end.

• Do you want me to beg? I would gladly do so. Just please pick up your phone and talk to me, okay? I love you.

• - Ai

Your ringtone blares through the silence - someone was calling you.

Before you could reach to pick it up, you hear the sound of the call being answered. Dread settles down the pit of your stomach as the caller began to speak.

"Hello, darling? It's Ai... have you seen my messages yet?"

#sub yandere #sub character #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere headcanons #yandere #tw yandere #gn reader #gender neutral reader #oc: ai

[kafus]

how i caught entei in leafgreen in the most ridiculous way possible

SO last week i started a pokemon leafgreen file on my childhood cart i've had since my 5th birthday, and one my goals ended up being getting every owned dex entry possible in JUST the one copy of leafgreen without connecting to any other game… and i did. except i forgot one. ENTEI!!

like probably a lot of you reading this i COMPLETELY forgot that one of the johto roaming beasts is in every copy of FRLG. i never even caught any of them as a kid. which roamer you get is based on your starter (squirtle = raikou, bulbasaur = entei, charmander = suicune) and i happened to pick bulbasaur so my roamer was entei. it does actually ROAM in kanto, aka whenever you change locations, the pokemon moves to a new route. obviously this is a pain in the ass, but it gets even more painful because roamers can flee from the battle and they will the instant you encounter them. you get the chance to throw one ball or use one move and that's it… so like in most pokemon games, you would use a trapping move like mean look to keep the roamer in the battle and turn it into a normal legendary encounter, right? HAHA WRONG

raikou and entei are affected by the ROAMER ROAR BUG in FRLG, which means if they use roar to escape the battle (yes, even in mean look, it doesn't stop roar from working) they just disappear from the game. permanently. forever. you can never capture it. suicune is not affected by this because it doesn't have roar, but my roamer was entei, so uh. the odds were stacked against me. did i want to repetitively encounter the roamer over and over, never trapping it, just throwing one ball each time? or did i want to set up a mean look pokemon only to have to soft reset every time entei used roar? neither option sounded fun and i was going to just give up and master ball it despite REALLY wanting it in a luxury ball like all the other kanto legendaries i had already caught… UNTIL!

i am a moderator of the ribbon master discord (a different pokemon challenge) and i was just sorta liveposting my thought process about this annoying roamer when gen 3 rng manipulation extraordinaire ddeeffgg crashes into the chat and suggests this fucking bonkers idea. and his bonkers idea is galaxy brain LET ME EXPLAIN

ariados is available in leafgreen's post game by catching spinarak in pattern bush, and of course electrode is a fairly common kanto pokemon. ariados gets access to spider web, which is basically just mean look with a different name (and i completely forgot it existed), it traps the opponent in the battle. but IMPORTANTLY, it ALSO gets access to BATON PASS… which, in gen 3, passes the trapping effect! usually if you were to use spider web and swap out ariados, the opponent would no longer be trapped, but baton pass solves that! and then electrode has the ability soundproof which prevents roar from working, and it even gets thunder wave (paralysis) and sonicboom (consistent 20 damage with no chance of accidental crits) to assist in easier capture of entei! nice!! awesome!! but getting this setup in order is the most ridiculous shit i've ever done in leafgreen

PROBLEM #1: ariados gets baton pass through egg move. in gen 3, egg moves are only passed down by the father and not the mother, so i had to grab a male ledyba, grind it to a high enough level to learn baton pass, then grab a female spinarak and breed them together. unfortunately this means my ariados would be level 1 and i'd have to train it up quite a bit, which leads into my next problem…

PROBLEM #2: ariados is SLOWWW. its base speed is a measly 40 compared to entei's whopping 100! ariados needs to outspeed entei to use spider web first turn so entei can't just run away! i would have to get ariados to a very high level to outspeed entei, grinding all the way from level 1. the one plus side is that the roamers in FRLG are bugged to always have a 0 IV in defense, special attack, special defense, and speed, which means unless entei has a +speed nature, its speed would always be a predictable and relatively low 105 at level 50, which is what it's encountered at. so i had to get an ariados with a speed of 106 or higher.

to get around both these problems as efficiently as possible, while breeding spinarak, i bred quite a few to get one with a +speed nature, and ended up with a jolly spinarak. everstone doesn't work in FRLG unfortunately, so the nature was completely random each time. soon my DAUGHTER WAS BORN after like 2-3 hours of breeding because FRLG eggs are SLOOOW and i was being stubborn about the nature, which i was getting unlucky on LOL

then i maxed out her speed EVs real quick by fighting picnicker susie on route 13 over and over, who gives 12 speed EVs per battle, 24 with the macho brace, which i was using. this was just to make sure i would reach 106+ speed as fast as possible. then i grinded her levels by repetitively fighting the two trainers right outside the weird chansey dance guy's house in sevault canyon on seven island, right above tanoby ruins. using the vs seeker on them is the best grinding spot in the game since they give 20k experience per fighting both of them and there's a healing spot Right There. i was using exp share and leading with my level 100 jolteon named Egg who i adore with all my heart. ariados, now named koolaid, ended up crossing the speed threshold at level 62! yes this took a while lmao

as for electrode, i wanted one at as high of a level as possible so i hopefully wouldn't have to grind levels. i lucked out as electrode is found at a whopping level 64 in cerulean cave's bottom floor. a 5% encounter rate but as i had already caught numerous 5%s for the pokedex, i didn't really care. however it DOES have explosion and i'd rather not have the electrode explode on me before i could catch it which would then send me on a wild goose chase for ANOTHER 5% electrode… so i grabbed the random level 24 poliwhirl with the damp ability, which prevents explosion from working, out of my PC, and gave it a smoke ball from the celadon game corner so i could lead with her and easily run from each encounter that Wasn't Electrode.

now you may be wondering how i was going to handle capturing electrode once i was actually in the battle because SURELY it would just use thunderbolt or something and instantly murder my poliwhirl. however funnily enough electrode only has two attacking moves at level 64, swift and explosion. explosion obviously doesn't work, and swift is a physical attack in gen 3 due to all normal type moves being physical, this was before the physical/special split in gen 4. electrode's physical attack stat is a garbage 50 and swift only has a base power of 60 so i honestly wasn't concerned. and best of all, poliwhirl gets the move hypnosis, so i could easily put electrode to sleep and start chucking ultra balls… and the smoke ball ended up being useless because i somehow ran into electrode first try what the fuck LOL

anyways i named them gatorade to match with koolaid. truly the dream entei capturing team. i didn't even feel the need to grind any levels on gatorade, level 64 was more than enough, so i just slapped the two moves i wanted on them - thunder wave through the one-use tutor in silph co, and sonicboom through the move reminder on two island, costing me two tinymushrooms which i thankfully already had and did not have to go out of my way to grind.

however the hours worth of prep ISN'T DONE YET! because uhh…

PROBLEM #3: ariados has to be above entei's level to outspeed it (yes, even if it had a 31 IV in speed AND a speed boosting nature AND maximum speed EVs, it still wouldn't be enough at level 50), which means the repel trick can't be used to encounter it. tracking down the roamer is practically impossible without using repels to cancel out all other wild pokemon, and in gen 3, unlike later gens, you can't put a fainted pokemon in the front of the party for the repel trick instead. and if i DON'T lead with ariados, entei will run away when i try to swap into it. SO i decided i would have to run into entei once first through the repel trick method, which marks it as "seen" in the pokedex, and then i would track its location through the pokedex to encounter it while leading with ariados.

to accomplish this, i simply ran in and out of the building on route 16, going in and out of the grass in the process, which would constantly be randomizing entei's location until it happened to randomize onto route 16. i caught a staryu with illuminate as an ability to raise the chance of entei appearing, which does work while staryu is fainted (wouldn't want to go in and out of the grass while entei was on route 16 without encountering it!) and otherwise led with my level 50 magmar that was on my elite four team named Torch for the repel trick.

i bought a whopping 100 max repels for this task but i ended up getting entei within just a few lol. torch was holding the smoke ball just to be able to run away safely without any shenanigans!

and now entei was in the pokedex and able to be tracked that way!

however, there was still ONE more problem...

PROBLEM #4: luxury balls are a pain in the ASS to get in this game! they can't be bought from any shop. the only way to repeatedly get luxury balls in FRLG is to show a pokemon to selphy, a rich girl who lives in resort gorgeous on five island.

i will mostly skim over this because it's boring, but TLDR i had to continuously talk to her, fly back to the pokemon center, get the pokemon she wanted to see out of the PC because the step limit is 250 before she gets sick of waiting which is like nothing (i already had a living dex of every mon obtainable in leafgreen otherwise so this wasn't hard), surf to her, then spam A through dialogue with her butler in which i had a 70% chance of receiving a luxury ball. i did this over 40 times until i had 30 luxury balls, and sold off all the nuggets and other items she gave me. good lord this took a while

and now with ALL of that setup i was FINALLY ready to capture entei in a luxury ball. this took me literally all day and i was really excited. to consistently encounter entei, i saved in cerulean city and tracked it in the pokedex from there, opening it over and over after changing to any of the four routes connected to the city, and moving to an adjacent route from entei's location when it was close in the hopes of walking onto the same route it moved to when i did. i was following a map made by hangarofroam, he has a video tutorial on how to shiny hunt the FRLG roamers and encounter them as quickly as possible, and i highly recommend looking it up if you want to capture these roamers yourself, but tldr this is the map i was using:

and once i encountered entei i was finally able to use the strategy i had prepped so long to do... and it worked without a hitch!! entei can't try to use roar first turn because it wastes a turn trying to flee, which is prevented by ariados outspeeding and using spider web... then if it tries to use roar the next turn, i've already switched into electrode to block it with soundproof. so from there it's just a matter of whittling down entei's HP to the red with swift/sonicboom and paralyzing it with thunder wave, then tossing luxury balls until success!

and i GOT IT after 3 encounter attempts and 73 luxury balls thrown. and FINALLY i have all 171 national dex entries possible in a single copy of leafgreen with no connection to other games, and all the legendaries are in fancy ass luxury balls. i am winning.

this was ridiculous. please be proud of my accomplishments. i've had this file for less than 2 weeks and i already have over 70 hours of gameplay in it after doing all this AAAAA

also barely related but look at Egg my jolteon he had like no purpose in this story but i took a pic of him in front of entei before going on to capture entei because i love him so much pleas

thanks for coming to my fucking ted talk i am SOOO normal about pokemonsdfjkfds (joke)

#pokemon #pokemon frlg #frlg #pokemon leafgreen #pokemon leaf green #long post #kiki plays games #kiki.txt #kiki was here #lg playthrough #entei

[shmpxx]

HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND — y.o

⛤ yuuta okkostu x fem! reader

How else would yuuta react if you denied your relationship in front of everyone? You obviously weren’t gonna be let off easy.

cw. smut. (kinda) exes to lovers-ish. thigh riding. semi-public sex. library sex. dry humping. oral (f. receiving). groping. marking. pet names (princess). face grabbing. slight manhandling. +18!

wc: 1.1k

a/n: yall i got a full time job and I’m doing school and i really want to post my fics more bc i love sharing my writing and hopefully this doesn’t sound rushed lol.

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

You practically had to shout it out loud for it to be known. How many times did you have to say it to get through Maki’s skull as she was constantly teasing you about how you and Yuuta used to act like two middle schoolers in love, laughing about it in front of everyone.

You wanted to craddle yourself into a ball hearing it all made you remember the soft moments you had together and then made you cringe about it in every being of your body.

You held hands and tried to catch the perfect moment to kiss but was too anxious to, spent everyday together before he left, he promised to send a call, text or at least email and now he’s back, decides to act all cool, his attitude changes only slightly like he’s all that now, he had fixed his hair to side and his demeanor turns cold. Everything about him and his current presence ticked you off. He didn’t have to stay. You wished he’d go back.

Did you really wish that? Or did you need him to trap you in the darkest aisle of a library where he caught you. Whispering in your ear to take all those awful words you said back while he’s pinning you against the tall shelf, his pelvis is rocking against yours, his lips ambushing your neck. He’s just kissing you and touching you all over, making sure you don’t escape him either. He’s squeezing your tits a bit too hard, leaving too many hickeys.

“Can we just take a moment—“

“Why should we?” his hot breath hitting the shell of your ear, traveling down your jawline. His hand squishing the sides of your cheeks to turn your head to the side to gain access to your neck. You could feel his wet muscle and his warm lips glide over your skin, his hand on the back of your ass, squeezing it and also pulling you more into him.

The slight change in yuuta was quite scary, he wasn’t as soft as he used to be. He’s leaving marks and his hips are moving recklessly. He knows it will be so much better if he could take your clothes off and be bare already to fuck you like he is your boyfriend, you’re all his.

He guides his leg between your legs under your skirt, his thigh grazing your covered cunt and his hands situated on your hips to rock you against his thigh.

“Didn’t you think it hurt my feelings when you said that in front of everyone?”

You couldn’t look him in the eyes knowing his eyes bore into you, he was looking for an apologetic look from you but you were too distracted by looking down watching as he was driving your hips to desperately drag on his thigh. He was pressing his leg harder into you making you finally let out out moan. The shame you felt when you realized you were in a public place making such noise.

“I was just telling the truth..hah…” your tone with half of regret and moans by yuuta forcing your hips to grind on him, your clit throbbing from the harsh friction and you’re already leaving a damp on his leg.

The way your words were set in annoyance and anger like you truly disregard the fact that you and yuuta never had a thing going on and this frustrates yuuta when he replays how you yelled that he wasn’t your boyfriend.

“I am your boyfriend, i just wanna make sure you don’t forget that princess” He pulls down your bottoms and he’s on his knees with his hands on the sides of your thighs like he’s kneeling to an angel which you were to him and you never thought so with all the built of negativity you had towards him.

“Alright i get it—“

He doesn’t think you do, he wants you to understand that you were his and he was yours. Why would he stop here? He’s already pulling down your underwear and your anxiety strikes at you when he gives your pussy a gentle kiss and you gave out a yelp, you kept your eye down the aisle to see if people would pass by. Your hand is slightly hovering over your mouth, so you’re still emitting small moans.

“C-come on yuuta—quit it already..ah!” You would rather move somewhere with more privacy though yuuta doesn’t care a place, he was too busy making out with your cunt now, his tongue flicked and sucked on your clit.

And it was not enough for him he had to prop your legs on his shoulders that your back pressed against the shelf of books more and you gasp by the sudden feeling of being weightless with your feet off the ground and yuuta buries his lips, his tongue to eat you out.

You cursed under your breath not knowing where to put your hands, you wanted to support yourself to not fall though yuuta would never let that happen and yet also drown in bliss with your hands gripping his black locks. the anxiousness and the pleasure clouding your mind at the same time.

Your trying your best to keep it down and your constant repeated pleas. Yuuta was lapping his tongue from the outside of your walls to your clit and something ignited deep in the pits of your stomach that just made you push your hips further into his face. It doesn’t seem like he was gonna stop anytime, he was so focused his eyes were shut thinking about how good you taste and how he had never got the chance before. he can tell that your twitching to cum soon and your sobs getting a little louder.

“Gonna cum! Gonna cum! Gonna cum!” You squealed, your legs wrapped around the back of his neck and your heels digged into his back, your spine arching off of the shelf and your eyelids flutter.

“Cum on my mouth princess, I’m all yours…” the way his voice melted your heart all over again, causing butterflies to fly in your tummy, made your orgasm come faster but also made you feel shamed and entirely hate it for feeling this way.

The moan of his name being let out so indecently that people might hear or probably did. Feeling the waves of you cumming flow through your body and his mouth hasn’t yet disconnected from you.

Yuuta looks up at you like this was just the beginning. You’re forced to wrap your arms around his neck when his hands comes under behind your knees, you still had no chance of keeping your feet on the floor. He’s already planning to fuck you with the zip of his pants and his cock freeing out, make you cry out a million times repeatedly that your his and he’s yours.

Now you’re gonna have to take everything you said back.

#jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk yuta #jjk yuuta #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuuta okkotsu smut #yuuta smut #yuta okkotsu smut #yuta x y/n #yuta okkotsu x reader #yuta x reader #yuta smut #yuuta x reader #yuta okkotsu

[ao3commentoftheday]

I've never orphaned a fic, but I'm glad AO3 has the option to do that. When I was in my late teens, I deleted all of my work from FFN because I thought I was done writing fanfic and for some reason got the idea into my head that it was dangerous to just leave them up, in case future employers or whoever found them. Even though I was writing very tame, mostly K+ and T rated stuff based on relatively uncontroversial original works. *facepalm*

Anyway, if I'd had the option to orphan my fics back then, I think I probably would have done that instead of deleting them. I wish it had been an option. I don't intend on ever orphaning what I'm writing now, but it makes me happy to know that if I ever did want to no longer be associated with it, I'd have the option to do that without taking it offline completely.

It's things like the orphan feature that really highlight the fact that AO3 was created and is maintained by fans. The people who volunteer there are also people who read fic and people who write fic. They get it.

Other features that I think are fantastic include, but are not limited to:

being able to have private bookmarks

being able to subscribe to a single fic, or to a fic series or to an author

the Fannish Next of Kin system whereby you can set a guardian for your fics in case of your death or incapacitation

site skins, which allow you to change the look and feel of the site to something that works best for you

the ability to have a pseudonym account on your main account, so if you want separate our your works that way you can

Tag Wranglers, who read all of the weird and wacky ways we tag our fics and make them searchable and filterable in the database

the search and filter capabilities!!

otp:true

the kudos feature, so I can still show love even when I don't have words

RSS feed capability

the ability to restrict access to my works and to restrict comments on my works

blocking and muting!

never having to click the Proceed button again

Anyone else have a favourite feature that I didn't list above? (if any of my points is new to you, lemme know - I'm always happy to do a deep dive)

#asks and answers

[janmisali]

what do you think of tone indicators in general?

unfortunately my thoughts on tone indicators are somewhat nuanced. fortunately, this is tumblr not twitter, so I can just write out my full thoughts in one post and be as verbose about it as feels necessary.

speaking as an autistic person (and I know there are other autistic people who don't hold this same view, this is just my perspective), I think as an accessibility tool, the extended set tone indicators in current popular use is fundamentally misguided.

the oldest ones, /s for sarcasm and /j for jokes, make sense. their notation isn't the most intuitive thing ("does /s mean sarcastic or serious?") but it's not too difficult to explain what they mean. I've had to spend my whole life learning by brute force what different tones of voice mean and what they change about how I'm supposed to interpret something, so I already know what "read this in a sarcastic voice" and "read this as a joke" are supposed to mean. my existing skills can be translated into the new form without too much effort.

the same thing applies to emoji and emoticons. I know what facial expressions mean, because I had to learn what they mean. figuring out if :) is sincere or not from context is a skill I've already needed to develop. it doesn't come naturally for me, but it's something I already at least somewhat know how to do.

most of the tone indicators in current use uh. don't work like this.

tone indicators like /ref or /nbh don't correspond to specific tones of voice. I don't have a "I'm making a reference" voice or a "I'm not talking about a person who's here" voice that I can picture the sentence being read in. these do not indicate tones, they're purely disambiguators. they clarify what something means without necessarily changing how it would be read out loud.

and on paper, that's fine, right? like, it's theoretically a good thing to take an otherwise ambiguous statement and add something to it that clarifies what you meant by it. the problem is that these non-tone tone indicators are not even remotely self-explanatory. it's up to me, the person who is being clarified to, to know what all these acronyms are supposed to mean, and how they change the way I'm supposed to interpret what something means.

it's, quite literally, a newly-invented second set of social cues that I'm expected to learn separately from the set that I've already spent my whole life figuring out, and it works completely differently.

sure, these rules are (in principle) less arbitrary than the rules of facial expressions and tones of voice and how long you're supposed to wait before it's your turn to speak, but they're also fully artificial and recently invented, which means they're currently in a constant state of flux. tone indicators go in and out of fashion all the time, and the "comprehensive lists" are never helpful.

in theory, I appreciate the idea of people going out of their way to clarify what they mean by potentially ambiguous things they post online. if it worked, that would be a really nice thing to do.

however, sometimes I imagine what the internet would be like without them. what if instead of using /s, the expectation was that if you're sarcastic online there's no guarantee that strangers reading your post will know what you meant? what if instead of inventing more and more acronyms to cover every possible potentially confusing situation, we just... expected one another to speak less ambiguously in the first place?

so, I on paper like the idea of tone indicators. I think it's good that some people are trying to be considerate by being extra clear about what they mean by things. but if tone indicators didn't exist, and people who wanted to be considerate in this way instead just made a point of phrasing things more clearly to begin with, I think that would be vastly preferable to even the most well-implemented tone indicator system.

also /pos sucks because there's something deeply and profoundly wrong for an abbreviation that means "I don't mean this as an insult, don't worry" to be spelled the same way as an acronym that's an insult

#tone indicators #jan misali

[deadbydad-writes]

"Ex-Boyfriends Dad"

This is a request from @miguelspookiebear. Sorry it's super late, but I do hope you enjoy it!

You thought that maybe this guy was the one, that he was the man of your dreams, that he would be the one to make the future you had dreamed about since you were twenty a reality.

For three years you had told yourself that and you believed it, until you saw him hooking up with your sister of all people.

You were heartbroken. You felt betrayed and broken. You had blocked him and broke up with him the next day after the incident, and you wouldn't even talk to your own sister.

You thought that life was over, that you would never find the guy that would be your knight in shining armor.

But maybe life would change, and you would meet the man that you so desperately dreamed of.

A few months after you had broken up with that bastard, you were in your kitchen making a cup of coffee, a frown on your face and dried tears on your cheeks as you stared at the mug in front of you until you heard a knock at your front door.

"Not him again," you groaned to yourself as you walked over to the door and opened it, expecting your ex-boyfriend to be begging for forgiveness and to take him back.

What you didn't expect was to see his father, Miguel O'Hara, to be standing there with a bouquet of roses in his hand and a small smile on his face.

"Mr. O'Hara," you said with a smile and leaned against the frame of your door. "Didn't expect to see you here."

Miguel let out a small chuckle. "Sorry I didn't warn you," he replied. "I just wanted to come over to-"

"Pick up your sons shit because he's too much of a pussy to do it himself?" You cut him off with a frown and a raised brow.

"Yes, and other things," the older male stated.

You hummed in response and looked at the box of his sons stuff and clothes, nibbling on your bottom lip as you thought about it.

"How about you come inside and I'll make you a cup of coffee," you suggested with a smile and offered him inside with a wave of your hand, which he gladly and nervously followed. Walking to the kitchen you grabbed another mug and poured coffee into it.

"I wanted to tell you that my son, the fucking estupido of a kid he is," he muttered under his breath as he took the mug with a small 'thank you'. "I kicked him out of the house until he gets his shit together."

You looked over at him and stood at the other side of the counter, looking at him and let out a sigh.

"Why'd you do that?" you asked, not making eye contact with him. "He's your kid."

Hearing the older man set his mug down and walk over to you, you felt his hand touch your shoulder and squeeze it gently.

"Because I did not raise him to treat women like that, let alone break their trust and sleep with another girl," Miguel said and put a finger under your chin, making you look up at him.

"Especially to not cheat on a girl that's as beautiful as you." You felt your cheeks heat up and a blush spread across your face at his words and the feeling of his hands holding your face like you were the most important person in his life.

Your eyes widened in shock when he had pressed his lips against yours in a gentle yet small kiss but you quickly gripped the fabric of his shirt and closed your eyes and kissed back.

Miguel growled against your lips and ran his large but gentle hands down your body and gripped your hips, allowing you to wrap your arms around his shoulder and moan into the kiss when he slipped his tongue into your mouth.

"Can't believe he would ever hurt a women like you," he growled as he pulled away from the kiss to press his lips against the skin of your neck, his teeth threatening to bite into the softness of your skin, causing you to let out a small moan and tilt your head to the side to give him more access.

This was wrong. The fact that you were making out with the father of your ex-boyfriend was something that shouldn't have turned you on as much as it did. But you couldn't bring yourself to give a shit, not when Miguel was biting and sucking marks onto your neck.

"Miguel," you whined.

"Tell me what you want, princesa," he whispered in your ear. "Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."

You closed your eyes and buried your face into the crook of his neck, biting your lip in thought.

"I..I want you to touch me," you said. "Please."

Miguel growled and lifted you up so you were laying on the counter, the cool surface making you shiver lightly.

"Look at you," the older male said with a grin, his hand moving up your leg and squeezing your thigh. "Is it bad that I'm glad you're no longer with my son?"

You bit your lip as you felt his fingertips dipped under the skirt of your dress and press against your folds through your soaked panties making you let out a gasp at the feeling. He leaned down and started to kiss down your neck again, his tongue soothing the bite marks he left.

"Gonna make you feel so good, mi amor," he promised with a smile and slipped your panties down your legs and dropped them onto the kitchen floor. "Gonna make you feel better than my son ever did.

The older male rubbed your clit with the tip of his thumb and slid two fingers into your dripping cunt, making you grip the fabric of his shirt and moan against his shoulder, closing your eyes as you grinded down onto his fingers.

Miguel growled against your throat and started to thrust his fingers in and out of your cunt, his fingers pressing against the spot inside of you that made your back arch off the counter with a moan.

You knew you weren't gonna last long, not when his fingers fill you up better than anyone else has, not when he made you forget your own name with the way he whispered praises in promises into your ears.

"Miguel," you gasped out. "I...I'm not gonna last long..." The older male rubbed your clit faster and reached his free hand up to squeeze one of your breasts through the fabric of your dress.

"I want you to come for me," he said and kissed you again, this one sloppier and more messy than the first one as you moaned into the kiss. "C'mon mi vida, wanna see you fall apart on my fingers.

Just hearing his words made you come with a moan, your walls gripping his fingers as you squirted all over his hand.

Miguel pulled out his fingers and licked off your juices, moaning at the taste before pulling you back in for a messy make out session. You closed your eyes as your tongue tangled with his, groaning as you tasted yourself in his mouth.

"Such a good girl for me," Miguel whispered against your lips with a smile. "But we're not done yet." You felt a shiver run down your spine as he picked you up and carried you to your bedroom.

You thought that you were never going to meet your knight in shining armor after you broke up with your ex, but you did, and it was with someone way better than him.

And you couldn't be more happy that it was his father that made you feel more loved and cared for.

This is probably the longest thing I have ever written, when it comes to requests, but hey I enjoyed writing this and it could be better but I am just getting over being sick and I'm a little dry with the smut! But it's okay!

#across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #atsv miguel #spiderman #atsv

[flowershines]

REACTION: VIBRATING COCK RING

{warnings} ⇨ smut, mentions of sex

HEESEUNG:

“Princess n-no mo-re..” his words rolled off of his tongue softly causing his pronunciation to turn to mumbles, rubbing your hand on his thigh as you watched his expressions showing how desperate he was yet that wasn’t the only thing that gave away his state. Trailing your eyes down from his neck as you watched his hickey filled neck allowed his breathing to become more spaced while his adams apple bounced up from the drool that pooled in his mouth. He always mentioned how he wanted you to ‘ride him’ and but you surprisingly never took him up on that option, yet. You loved him so much, his body itself looked like a art piece you would see in the museums. The way his v-like perfectly tailed down to his aching cock which twitched from the vibration of the toy you had placed on him earlier in the diner.

Veins prominent on his hands while they gripped tightly into a fist till the point of his knuckles going white due to the loss of blood flowing to his fingers, his eyes tried to stay open as much as they could but would occasionally flicker as he squeezed them shut. Pressing the button on his vibrators control to maximum speed his mouth hung open as he wondered how much more he could take, he mouthed from across the table a ‘please’ as his cheeks started to turn a light pink while the tip of his ears were turning red. He looked down at his fists then his cock which ached to be freed from his pants, “Wait till we get home baby, i’ll let you finish then.” you whispered as you completely turned off the cockring which caused him to whine from the lack of pleasure rushing through his body.

JAY:

His moans sounded like they had fallen from heaven, the way his mouth would hang open slightly allowing you to see the bottom of his teeth. The corner of your lip curled into a sidle smirk, as he watched your expression change he knew in that moment things were about to get worse. His cock turned angry, the way the veins popped out, his tip was bright red, and would twitch with every vibration from the toy that wrapped around his base. Pushing his chest back into the bad you straddled his lower stomach as you faced his cock which gave him complete access to your ass, his hands rested on your hip but eventually turned into gripping them tightly as you knew the next morning would leave bruises.

“L-love, ne-ed t-to cu-m… please.” Turning back to face the desperate man behind you his hair was messily laid out along his forehead as it stuck to it due to the sweat that had formed, “Aw look at my baby boy, all desperate.” his head shook vigorously, agreeing with your statement. “Y-your go-od bo-y.” His words started to fade more as his breathing started to become heavy, “Such a good baby.” you said as you rubbed the sweaty hair on his forehead. His eyes squeezed shut. His mouth opened all the way as he slightly arched his back then slammed back down into the bed, turning around to face forward you saw a wet spot form on his boxers. “Sorry Love, really needed to. I know i wasn’t supposed to but please let me make it up to you.”

JAKE:

Placing your hand over his mouth, no matter how many times you told him to not be loud he was. The members were asleep rooms away yet his exact words were ‘it’s okay you act like they have never heard us have sex before’ his hands were placed on your arm as he held you closer while the other hand went to grab the hand over his mouth. Removing your hand he placing it back gently on your thigh as he placed his puffy lips onto your neck leaving small love bites behind, the vibrations of his moans started to tickle you. His cock twitched every time you would change the setting on the cockring, he was a little slut because even though he loved putting on a dominant face deep down he just wants you to use him like your personal fleshlight.

“Yes gorgeous, fuck, use me.” He grumbled through his teeth as his hand wrapped around you neck, you watched as his cock leaked precum. Bringing your finger to his tip you swiped off the called lubricant that rested on his pelvis then brung it to your lips as you made sure to look at him directly in the eyes while you put your finger in your mouth, his lips parted as his body jolted forward. A confused look displayed across your face as he barried his face into your neck due to embarrassment, “What happened handsome?” he mumbled into your neck “You’re just too pretty.” the feeling of a wet spot rub up against your inner thigh made your accusations clear.

SUNGHOON:

Placing your hand on his thigh as you sat down in the booth of the restaurant as you sat across from the other members along with the seats beside Sunghoon filling up, earlier you told him to go in the bathroom a place the cockring on little did he know you had a controller to the vibrating cockring. As he sat down with his hard cock bulging through his jeans his hands rested on the table while he talked with the members trying to be a nonchalant as he could, his cock started to jump with joy as the pleasure started to rub through every inch of his figure.

“Sunghoon you okay?” Jay asked from across the table which caused your boyfriend to nod his head to the curious man before him, his hands started to grip the edge of the table as it was clear how his body language was betraying his every move. In that moment he wanted nothing more to bring pleasure to the ache in his pants, his lips were found between his teeth as a way to muffle any noises that threatened to fall. Leaning back he whispered in your ear “Baby please, not here.” his voice sounded frantic and genuine but that didn’t stop you from turning up the frequency of the vibrations. “Ca-n’t baby… gorgeous… pretty… i love y-you but pl-ease at hom-e.”

SUNOO:

His hands gripped the controller as he tried to keep his attention focused on the character displayed on the screen in front of him, “P-please Honey this i-s a serious game.” he whined not taking his focus off of the screen. Unbuckling his jeans you pulled them down just halfway down his thighs giving you more access to his boxers as you followed the same pattern with them as well, his cock shot up against his abdomen while twitching from the vibrations running through its veins. Bringing your hand towards his mouth “Spit.” you said not asking him but rather telling “Honey I-” “Did i say talk back? No. Spit.”

He followed your instructions as he gathered all of the spit in his mouth letting it drop onto your hand as you ran your now lubricated hand to his dick as you wrapped your hand around his base cause his actions to falter, whines and moans fell from his lips because as much as he wanted to give in to you he knew this level would not download fast enough and would delete what he has done so far. “Please, i just need to-” Cutting off his words you placed your lips on his while his cock twitches in your hand, “Pretty boy, your body betrays you so badly.” a spread of cockiness filled your aura.

JUNGWON:

His hand held yours as you both agreed maybe it would be best for the both of you to spice things up in the bed, you pulled him towards the edge of the bed as you stood up in front of him. Pulling down his sweatpants and his boxers leaving his bulging dick being displayed in front of your legs, crouching down only to look up at him as he faces you then his side as he hands you the toy with the remote. “If anything feels weird or anything le-”His hand was suddenly placed over your lips in the middle of you reassuring him, “I’m fine Princess, just put it on.” he let go of the grasp he hand on your mouth. Following his directions you placed the toy on his cock causing his body to jolt in place and hiss from the sudden pleasure of your hands running along his desperate parts.

Looking up at him he nodded at you giving you the ‘okay’ to keep going, his lips parted as you moved the switch to start on low power. His hands were everywhere, he had no idea what to do with himself. The amount of pleasure that filled throughout his body was enough to make him cum buckets, his orgasm started to knot in his stomach but had to ignore it because he wasn’t trying to think of his pleasure but rather yours. He knew you were getting off to his desperate state secretly, he kissed your jawline then left a trail of kisses to your ear. “I love you so much my Princess.”

#smut #fluff #enha x reader #enhypen smut #heeseung smut #jake smut #jay smut #jungwon smut #sunghoon smut #sunoo smut