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fandomobbsessedb · 2 months

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Alastor x F!Overlord!Reader

AN: this is the result of the first poll I posted, Alastor won so here we are!

I’ve kinda broken this into two bits in this one shot, there’s a warning farther down if you want to keep within the ideas of “headcannon” but farther below I have the start of a story, I got a bit carried away and am too far gone to delete it.

⚠️Warnings: mentions of blood, death, weapons, smoking, maybe 1 instance of cannibalism ( but its more in the sense of revenge rather than a canabalistic reader) (idk man it’s hell if your triggered don’t read 😭) this is really long already so I might just break it up or continue it to make a part 2. I have a LOOOOOOT of references in here to so many things, if you guys can pick up on them leave a comment and I’ll tag list you in my next fic if you want! Or don’t I honestly couldn’t care less it’s just for fun :p

Reader is referred to with afab terms.

Pt2-

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• In your life you tried to stay on “the right” path. Your parents raised you right, you tried your hardest to be nice, and where always on your best behavior, but after getting the short end of the stick for too long you kinda… loose it.

• You ended up in hell after a night out partying with some of your most valued clients, when you went to drive yourself home the heel of your stiletto got stuck under the gas pedal, as you tried to pull it out you took your eyes off the road and 💥 BAM 💥 you where hit by a large grocer truck.

•Opening your eyes to a red wasteland, the bright flash of lights and the smell of brimstone flood your senses. Looking down to try and gather your bearings you notice your whole body wasn’t (skn/tn) anymore… it was marble grey?

“Where… where am I?” I mumbled under my breath, trying to gather my surroundings, a bright flashing catches my eyes, a gigantic neon sign in the sky gives me my anwser…

“Welcome to Hell!!!”

“Hell…. I’M DEAD?!!!!” I groaned out through barred teeth and stood to my feet, looking around I saw definite signs, this was Hell alright. A blood red sky, fires everywhere, little sinners running around stabbing and shooting one another.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, ALL MY WORK, MY SHOPPING EMPIRE, MY CLOSET, MY AWARDS, MY EVERYTHING, RAAAAAAHHH!!!” In my anger I grabbed the nearest sinner and threw them to the ground, putting my foot between their shoulder blades and grabbing their arms.

“You’re gonna tell me right now, what the hell is going on, WHY AM I DEAD AND HERE-” I shouted in their ear, seeing blood come out… oh shit I probably burst their ear drum… oh well, I’ve done that plenty of times to my assistants.

“D-d-do you mean, like in hell, or or just this area?” They questioned nervously. To be fair they were a scrawny little thing…

“What in the-“ I paused to look around, then referred back to this little shit “actually HELL are you talking about?”

“W-w-well, you must, *gulp* you must be new here, huh?” It asked with a weary smile and a weak little laugh, probably trying to ease the tension. “Well, down… down here, we uh, we have overlords who- who rule certain areas, we’re in Ms.Leefolt’s t-t-t-territory right now, I mean, our king Lucifer, Lucifer and Lilith Morningstar rule all of hell…”

“Well, that certainly is… intresting.” I smirk and stand up, releasing his arms but not letting my foot off his back. “So these, overlords… are they appointed by your king, or born into or something?” I question with a sharp red nail in between my teeth, thinking…

“No, no ma’am just, just anyone who’s ballsy enough to, to, take over enough territory and have enough demons- sell them their souls in exchange for something. Umm- if it’s not too much of a bother, could you let me go… I- I can feel my ribs crushing under me…” it started wheezing out and trying to get a hand under its chest to place a barrier between their chest and the ground.

“Hm, well if that’s all true, I can’t let some little thing like you going around gossiping about me.” I growled looking down at this freak… pressing my heel into his spine harder.

“No! No please, I won’t say a thing I promise!! Just let me go, please… pleas-“

SPLAT-

“Whoops, my bad, I slipped.” I reasoned, pulling my now bloody leg out of his torso.

“Ohh, eeeeeew eweweweweweweeew, I’ve got bits of his, ugh, lung on my heels.” Flicking away the bits of organ from my shoes, I take a breath and another look around but this time in a planning sense. Overlords huh, well, I’ll just have to see how much this ‘miss leefolt’ likes the taste of arsenic, I wonder when the last time she had a homemade pie was….

• So of course to establish some dominance in my new living arrangement, I gutted that bitch from the inside out. I took her territory, her power, her souls, even her manor. When I went to her office to kill her I found the deed to her house and all the contracts of sinners who gave her their souls in a pretty shittily hidden safe.

• I mean, I had to work so hard to build my life up just for a stupid grocer to end it all, so this is fine… right?

• The years go by and the world changes, you became one of the most powerful and influential overlords in hell, re-establishing your power once held on earth to a business in hell. Rosie and Velvet quickly becoming your closest friends, Velvet in a more business sense and Rosie being your go to gossip gal. Both of you having elegant and refined tastes. You and Husk became friends over talking shit in a casino one night, and remained friends after his downfall. He talks to you about this, radio demon, from time to time but you haven’t heard much of him

Little do you know he knows almost everything about you~

• Your walking around Cannibal Town one day waiting for Rosie to finish a meeting, watching children run around and little carts selling all kinds of body related snacks.

I lost a bit of my sense of surrounding and almost tripped on a kid running around with his friend throwing a head back and fourth.

"Jerermy! Stop playing with your lunch and apologize to that nice lady you almost ran into."

"Sorry miss, I didn't mean too." He said looking down at the head ashamedly, then offering me a piece of the cheek. "Would you like some of this face? It's really good." He looked up at me with an excited look. "Oh thank you, but I'm waiting for lunch with my friend, I'll go to the butcher and get some though, it looks really good." I smiled my pointy teeth at him, patted his head and motioned him back to his mother, she waved to me and I nodded my head back, thinking it was time for Rosie to be done by now.

"My my, with your reputation of anger issues I would assume you would tear that poor child into bits upon realization." A staticky voice spoke behind me, tilting my head back but not my body as I don't know who it is. I look him up and down, his outfit and cane/staff thingy give off quite the powerful impression. "My, mhm, reputation?" I pester raising my eyebrow.

"Ah-hahahaha, My name's Alastor, its quite a pleasure to finally meet you in person." He introduced reaching for the back of my hand to place a kiss. Him saying his name reminded me, I too finally recognized the name. "Oh, Rosie has told me much about you." The radio demon, his names been brought up many times around cannibal town since he frequented their shops and small town locals.

"Oh yes, Rosie is one of my dearest friends" He replied linking our elbows and started walking towards the shop. "Mine as well, she is quite the darling, so let me ask you now, where you just standing there when I got to the park, or where you going to follow me in silence since I left the emporium~" He didn't stutter in his step but my revelation made the air feel a bit more, weary on his side. Reaching into my hand purse I grabbed my lipstick and hand mirror and paused my walk to apply a touch more. Looking just past my lips in the reflection I saw his eyes in the back corner snap to my down, then back up to my eyes with a tight smile. "Well, are you coming? I know Rosie hates to be kept waiting." I snapped it shut and outreached my elbow waiting for him to link his so that we could start the traverse back to Rosie's.

• After our little group luncheon with Rosie, Alastor and you didn't verbally indicate that you were closer in any sense. But physically you swayed like two tree's. Brushing branches back and fourth with the breeze, restless and apart yet labeled as "together"

• You started doing weekly business deals, him acquiring land and souls for you, and all he asked in returns is he uses that land and those souls as he pleases. Which honestly isn't a lot. When he pulls people or their shadows to come help at the hotel- their mostly your people but he always sends them back to whence they came.

• He likes to pretend he doesn't necessarily care for being around you, however he's always looking for time you two can be together, or even thinking of each other. On his radio show he'll mention new shopping, eating, entertainment locations on your turf. He knows you listen when your able to. Sometimes he uses his power to let his station be the only one playing where ever you are. In the car, in a shopping store, you could be sitting in the bathroom and it would get to the point where you can hear it from the vents. Making you roll your eyes and finish your business so you could get to your office to listen to the radio.

• Truth be told... you where falling to his whims as well. Alastor didn't necessarily have "territory" but many places in one area he had influence in and quite often frequented. When you had rips or damage to your very expensive very delicacy clothing you would walk with him to the seamstress, and afterwards you would often get tea or lunch together. Maybe he knows a good diner or two and ya’ll will sit there and eat, then get a milkshake (mostly bc you wanted one, he just indulges to make you happy though he doesn’t care for the cold sweet taste) and drink it through two straws, awwwwwwwwwwwwe!!

• When either of you knew of prestigious events happening around you invite the other to be your plus one. You go shop together to find outfits for the occasion. You started attending overlord meetings together, with yourself sat on the opposite side of Rosie, sending each other glances and touches under the table whenever Rosie wasn't looking or walked away for a brief moment. At the events you stay close together and often stand away from the crowd, whispering and gossiping together, allowing yourself a to drink silly, little do you know how well he can hold his liquor and often will be the one making sure YOU get home. Sometimes you wake up still dressed, like the gentleman he is, and sometimes you’ll wake up in some red pajama set…. Like the gentleman he is, he’s not gonna let you sleep in an uncomfortable outfit. But he’s respectful about it.

• He often send subliminal messages through your radio to help you fall asleep, to push you to coming to see him, to maybe just stay in your town if he knew something really bad was going on outside. His favorite to do is when your falling asleep he’ll play the calmest songs from his time to comfort you as you drift off.

• When he officially asked to court you he compared you to the beautiful crimson of the sky, saying your cheeks where more bright and delightful to gaze at then the morning sky, when it was particularly bright. All kinds of poetic gestures, sending crows to your windows, sending your gifts of bodies with knives in them, and the knives had small notes left for you on some quote from a book you like. Now how he knows those are your favorite books are beyond you…. you don’t talk about your books much but, maybe he’s seen you reading it at some random point in time? Who knows, not you.

• He’s all in all not a bad partner, of course when you want to go out he usually goes along with what you want to do but if there’s something he refuses to do, his claws are sinking into your arms to keep you from dragging him to do it.

• His smile is genuine around you and you adore when he lets you pet his ears~ he’s not that intimate early on in the relationship but when your just sitting on a couch or watching the sun set from somewhere and you just reach over and pet his ears, he is putty in your hands, physically he keeps his compose fairly well but inside he’s willing to do anything to keep you touching his ears, telling himself he would sell YOU his soul if it meant you wouldn’t stop, petting his ears and helping him groom his antlers, don’t even get me started on the tail… oh wait he’s already got something going on with that… well darn… hopefully you will keep accepting his caring actions rather than push them away.

——-STOP reading here if you don’t want to get into the more “story line” of this idea, if you want more of a story KEEP READING——-

• One night some sinner had gotten into your liquor stash and drank himself ditzy, you chased him into an ally way, looking to end his fucking life. Most of those where gifts from clients that most likely had aphrodisiacs and at the time where trying to get down your pants, but he drank from one of the few special bottles Alastor had gifted you and you went ballistic. You ended up catching him and killing him, and taking a tip from Rosie and ripped some of his limbs off, letting yourself indulge in the taste of warm, liquor filled blood. When you came too you realized you didn't know where you had chased him. Now covered in blood, liquor, rain, mud and whatever mess you stepped in on your way over. Seeing the iluminating lights of the sign for the Hazbin Hotel, your only thought was to try and get to Alastor.

*knock knock knock*

*creeeeeeeeeeeeeeek*

"Oh! Oh my gosh, hi! Come in Come in. " An ecstatic girl ushered you inside, making a towel appear seemingly out of nowhere and helping you dry off. "I'm Charlie, whats your name?"

"Oh, how rude of me" I respond trying to shake off my chills, my nose starts to get a bit runny. "Uhm I'm Y/N, I don't mean to sound intrusive- uh is Alastor here?" I ask hesitantly, not wanting to just barge in but after the night I've had I wasn't in too much of a mood for pleasantries.

"Oh yes! Here, why don't you sit at the bar, have some tea or water or something and I'll run up to his radio tower." She sat me down at a bar stool and walked away. The bartender was turned around already whipping me up something.

"So he's got you wrapped up here huh?" I inquired with a smirk, resting my hands under my chin and trying to keep a little composure. His wings ruffled a little bit before he reached for my favorite hell made brand of brandy, my cotten candy brandy, I'm not one for sweets but I love the zing it gives you. The kind where you loose your vision for a good 7 seconds.

"You haven't usually been one to be a stranger, what gives?" Husk asked turning around handing me my drink and a bowl of pretzels.

"Well when I saw you weren't at your usual gambling tables I didn't think to question it, thought you where maybe getting more chips... ooooor hooking up in the chip room.... ooooor selling even MORE of your soul, if that's even possible, maybe like your wings or your feathers or, like your body as a human shield in the next extermination, never thought you'd be here slinging drinks." I shrugged swirling my drinks around the glass before taking a sip.

Before he could respond he took a bit of a step back and growled really low and deep in his throat.

"Ah yes well he owed me a favor and since I took an investment in this hotel I needed a little work on it done." Alastor came up behind me with a warm towel wrapping it around my shoulders as the one Charlie gave me was wrapped around my waist keeping my legs warm... unfortunatly the sinner got caught at a bad time, I was in the middle of 'me time' before bed and was in my good silk nighty. Glad I walked to my office with my fuzzy robe and ballet slippers. I feel really warm and fuzzy, my heads all….. comfy now… is that static coming from Alast-

"Oh deerest your all wet, would you like to come up and I can help you clean up." He asked you shaking the towel on your shoulders helping you sit up. "Oh yes please" you responded looking at him with sad tired eyes.

-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-

I took a sip of the warm tea Alastor had made me and laid back in the bath, taking it all in. I WAS just planning a quiet evening in at home, maybe snack on some treats I got in the Gluttony ring, watch some hells soap operas. Now I’m here, in my beau’s bathroom, relaxing… maybe I can convince him to let me up to his radio tower to listen to his late night show live, oh that would be fun. I wonder what it looks like up there? I’ve only ever seen his actual town house… a little ways away from town-

*CRASH *

“What the fuck?!” I sat up so fast I almost slipped, sitting on my butt… in the tub…. Shit did he spike my tea?

“Alastor? Is everything okay?” I asked loudly. Standing up carefully keeping three points of contact with the tub and the floor. I reached for a different robe he had given me, a soft red fluffy one, with (what I hope is faux ) fur along the collar and wrists.

Walking towards the bathroom door very carefully I cautiously reached for the shiny silver handle. Telling myself it’s okay but feeling a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach, and the handle was the top of the pit…

“Alastor?” I called out again, once more not getting an answer, bringing my hands to my mouth when I heard a large thump out there, trying to keeping my composure… oh what the hell they know I’m here already. I went to turn the handle what the door got pushed in, had I been able to see what happened I would’ve seen Alastor in his demonic form and it probably would’ve scared the actual shit outta me… but NOPE

I went to open the door when it got pushed open and a bright blue flash covered all of my vision and made me feel… kinda tried… but I’m awake, almost like I’m not in my body… it’s… really hard……. To keep my….. keep my eyes …………………………….………open…….

• You collapsed to the floor slowly breathing, in a trance, feeling some sharper claws pick you up bridal style, if you weren’t so dazed out you would see Alastor frozen in time… like a paused TV… unable to get to you, or subdue your captor. You still had enough conscience to hear a muffled voice talking to a phone~

“Yeah we got her… foil chains worke—“

“Get her ba-“

“…. Longer you take the quicker……….. flasher wears-“

• Last thing you could remember hearing before completing falling out was a radio scramble in your brain, the sound going from a hollow scraggly to a tight scraggle- like turning the tv in between stations………

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

AN: WELLLLL WHAT DID YA THINK???? Did you skip to down here or did you read the WHOLE thing. I really hope ya’ll like this, I’m so excited to make part 2, and maybe 3 or 4 depending on how far this goes.

Thank you to anyone who reads this and interacts in any way shape or form!!! Even if it’s just reading :) HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY AND REMEMBER

REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM BUY GOLD BYYYYYYEEEEEE

#headcannons #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel rosie #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel angst #hazbin hotel oneshots #short story #part 2?

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tiredfox64 · 5 hours

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I HAVE BEEN HIT WITH A VISION FROM THE ELDER GODS!

You can see from miles away that Bi Han is touch starved as hellll, im talking STARVING.... so I honestly see that man just feeling turned on from simple kisses. Like, 1 min of kisses, BAM, ready to go! I feel like that intimacy may get him going, since thats a rare thing in his life

This isn't a request for a fic ( unless you want it to be 👀 ) but I am obsessed with Bi Han and I just realised this while drinking my coffee this morning

Just Some Kisses

Prior notes: I fuck with your vision! So I did something short cause how could I not work with that even though this was not originally a request.

Pairing: Bi-Han x Gn reader

Warnings ‼️: Suggestive hehe

You were feeling extra lovey today. Just the sight of your boyfriend made you all giggly and your heart warm up like a cast iron on a hot Arizona day in July. Okay, maybe not that hot but you get the picture. Fresh baked cookies kind of warm. Yeah, that’s better.

You were practically skipping over to Bi-Han’s office where you strolled in all innocently. He didn’t look up but he knew it was you walking in. Usually you would sit next to him or anywhere else in his office when you came to spend time with him. Nope. Today was different. Your seat would be Bi-Han himself.

You came closer to Bi-Han and started straddling his lap. You caught him by surprise. This was the first time you ever did this. He’s not complaining surprisingly.

He was about to question you until he felt your lips on his face. All over his face actually. You were leaving kisses wherever you could as you held his face in a loving manner. His cheeks, forehead, nose, chin, even neck. You didn’t see it but Bi-Han was starting to blush. Awww he likes it.

He didn’t know what to do with his hand. No one has ever done this to him or given him this much attention. His hands were gripping the arms of his chair while you were kissing his neck. You heard him make a low growling noise that you took as a sign of delight. You were right but he was also struggling to contain himself.

When you started making out with him that was the hardest part for Bi-Han. Feeling your soft lips against his was pleasurable torture especially once you slipped your tongue into his mouth. Your hands were feeling him up. One hand was sliding down his chest while the other went to his hair, letting his hair down from its once tight bun. Damn! This felt too fantastic for him. Your fingers running through his hair was the final nail in the coffin. You felt his hands grab onto you and squeezed you gently. He let out a groan before tearing his face away from you.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” You asked innocently.

Oh you sure did do something.

Bi-Han pushed you down on his lap more and you finally felt his hard on. How the heck did you miss his bulge?! You saw how embarrassed Bi-Han was. He was all hot and bothered, not very used to being kissed, touched, and loved this much. You didn’t even mean to get him started like this. The man was really struggling to hold himself back. He froze the arms of the chair trying to contain himself. But now that you know…ah fuck it!

With one arm he picked you up while the other arm swept his desk clean of anything. Every paper and writing utensil fell to the ground. He placed you on his desk, pressing himself against you. Now you’re the priority. The work can wait, he can’t. He’s all horned up and ready to go! Don’t make him wait any longer after you teased him like that.

You didn’t even mean it but okay, go off I guess.

Well, hope you have fun—oh my gosh

Oh damn is he gonna pay to fix your clothes?

Wow, i didn’t know you were that flexible!

I’ve never seen that position before WHEN DID HE LEARN THAT?!

You two are making a lot of noise…oh…he wants that…cool.

The desk is squeaking HAVE SOME MERCY!

Woah! Alright! That’s a lot that came out!

You uh…you need a tissue? Or some Bounty paper towels? A towel actually?

He definitely was touched starved, ohhh mighty.

After notes: You spat this vision out at me. I’m more of a tea vision kind of person but coffee visions work too.

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slugtranslation-hypmic · 4 months

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Hey slug! Obviously it's a bit older now, but I was wondering if you might be able to translate Sougyaran BAM, from Kuko? I feel like I don't quite understand the TLs I have seen, so I was wondering if there were certain references or concepts I'm missing here lol

I saw the email notification of this request at the perfect moment. Too anxious to do work or anything else productive. Too caffeinated to sleep. Fuck it. Time to look at Kuukou for an hour.

Under a cut for length

Like a lot of Kuukou's... well, everything... this song is an eclectic mix of elements that can all more or less be distilled into these couple of bullet points:

Trying to fight the listener

Dropping powerful life advice or Buddhist teachings

Claiming his music is both a game changer and the kind of stuff that gets your blood pumping

Scatting, rhyming without meaning, or otherwise making wordplay

Outside of the parts that are straight-up nonsensical, the majority of the rap is very casual to the point of being rude. However, it's also interspersed with formal religious language. Again, both of these are how Kuukou talks, but I get why this would make it difficult for someone to translate.

I talk about this a lot whenever I translate anything, but an important (and maybe the most important!) part of any translation is determining the methodology, focus, and goals before you begin. I figure that if someone's asking me to look at song lyrics for songs that have been out for years, they probably care a lot more about the minutiae of what the character's saying than if I'm writing a rap as part of a longer work where readers aren't going to give it much attention. In that second case, it's probably more important to convey the appearance of a rap--rhyme, rhythm, what have you--and make sure I'm hitting the overall meaning rather than translate word-for-word. You know? The issue is, translating word-for-word would produce mostly nonsense on this one, since my interpretation of its meaning is largely coming from reading between the lines. There's also no real meaning outside of the four bullet points above. It's all vibes. So, this is a vibe-focused translation. When Kuukou says something with no meaning (that I can tell) outside of wordplay, I've exchanged it with a fresh wordplay. At the same time, since I assume the audience wants to know the minutiae, I put footnotes at the very end for the most curious souls. Finally, outside of wordplay moments, there is no attention paid to rhyming, rhythm, or line length.

Also I spent like forty minutes on it so it isn't a polished work of art or anything of the sort. Lyrics:

You wanna piece of this? That’s cool, tough guy. Bring it on. ‘Cause I’mma mess you up. Hmm? You’ve had enough? Yeah, bitch, I bet you’re fuckin’ SATIETIED. Who the hell do you think you are? Aw, who I am kidding? It doesn’t matter who you are. I’ve never met an ass I couldn’t kick! And while I’m here thrashing your sorry butt, listen up. I’m Kuukou from Bad Ass Temple, representing Nagoya, yo. And I’m gonna be world champion. Whazzat? Who do I think I am, some kinda fancy-pants hotshot? Nah, dawg. I’m a monk, haha! Get in the zone, do it or go home, this ain’t the scene you’ve known. [1] I’m a rebellious rhymer staging a revolution. C’mon, join me! Let me hear your voices!

“Enough determination can move mountains,” as they say. Yeah, a-a-a-and I’ve got determination for days.

San gha gharan bam! [2] S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue [3] Check, ch-ch-ch-check it, che-wa-watch out Gha bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping, BAT’s sexy leader [4] Kick, kickin’ kickin’ killer San gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam Gha gha gha gha gharan bam

Say what? Rules, rules, rules—who the fuck cares about rules? I’m the ruler now. A ruler and a schooler. [5] Yo, I’ve got that brand new music— When I ring this giant bell, people hear that shit far and wide. Beat it! And lyrics? You already know I spit so much fire they call me a dragon. I’m all about the impulses, the anarchy, let’s fuckin’ go! I’m a breath of fresh air up in this shit. Eight pulls, nine pulls, ten pulls—someone say temples? [6] If you don’t know already, then you oughta listen up. You don’t need any of these options. Go make your own. Paint that shit vibrantly. Go try something new! And if it goes so well you can indulge in some goddamn rejoicin’? Then hell yeah, now we’re talking.

Yo, man. The world’s all in how you see it, as they say, and don’t you ever forget it. A-a-a-and I may be a monk, but I’m not preachin’ just to scold you! [7]

San gha gharan bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue Check, ch-ch-ch-check it, che-wa-watch out Gha bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping, BAT’s sexy leader Kick, kickin’ kickin’ killer San gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam Gha gha gha gha gharan bam

Yeah, life’s got ups and downs. You asking me, “Whatchu lookin’ at?” [8] Your ASS, lol got ‘em. Wassup, wassup, I’m a rhymer. I’m makin’ some good shit up in here. Hm? Ey, dance, dance over days when our hearts are aligned [9] Shoo bidoo doo bidoo Roo bidoo doo bidoo Tickili tickili tackili-tatt-too

Yeah! Haha! My rapping’s freakin’ EXHILARATORY. Hello! Aight, c’mon on, lemme give you some of this and wake you right up. Yo, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, ho!

Gharan bam gharan bam Gh-gh-gh-gh hey! Bring it on, tough guy! R-r-rapping, rapping, r-r-rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue R-r-rapping, yeah, gh-gh-gh, hey!

Yeah, clear the scene, ‘cause I’mma reinvent the scene. [10] Yo, get outta my way. I’m Evil Monk, the dragon of Bad Ass Temple, you know. Rrrrrrah! [1] This last is literally "clear weather (空)" or "energetic vibes (空)." At face value, it appears to be nonsense for rhyming. However, at the very end of the song, Kuukou talks about "the vibes/the scene (空気)" changing and him changing it (which can also be read as the weather changing/clearing up), which makes me wonder if those two are related. Just in case, I wrote them with a possible connection in English too.

[2] 僧伽藍 (sangharan) is a short form of 僧伽藍摩 (sangharama), a Buddhist temple or monastery. Bam is, of course, the sound of Kuukou throwing hands.

[3] 饒舌 (jouzetsu) is a fairly formal word in Japanese to refer to excessive talking. However, I was surprised to learn in the process of TLing this that it's also Chinese for rapping which appears to be how Kuukou's using it here. Also, if you're curious how English "jazzy" became "razzle-dazzle," I realized near the end of the song that I needed to start this word with the same sound as "rapping" (because he scats the j sound on jazzy and jouzetsu) whereupon I set out to find a good synonym. The issue is, I wasn't sure exactly how the lyric writers were using the term, so I put "jazzy" in an English-to-Japanese dictionary to get "loud, invigorating, eye-catching." Yeah, that's Kuukou all right. "Razzle-dazzle" is similar and starts with an r, so there we go.

[4] The lyrics say "xy な leader" (the な is just indicating that "xy" is being used as an adjective, btw) which I assumed means sexy... ekkusu ii said quickly sounds like sekushii. To be sure I wasn't barking up the wrong tree entirely, I ran a quick Twitter search on that line and found a very large number of Japanese Tweeters thinking the exact same thing I was. (It looks like Kuukou's VA once flashed his collarbone on this line in a concert, delighting scores of collarbone lovers everywhere.) That being said, searching anything on Twitter and finding horny Tweets isn't exactly a novel concept. Well, if I'm wrong about this, then at least I'm in the good company of all the thirsty Kuukou fans. Hahaha. If this seems OoC to you, I feel like it's here mainly for fanservice, not necessarily because Kuukou's trying to get some with the person he's beating up and/or preaching at. Although, idk. If you ship Kuukou with anyone, you could very well see some parallels...

[5] Literally "I'll beat up [everything] including the roulette board." Wordplay on rules (ruuru), ruler (ruuraa), and roulette (ruuretto)

[6] Literally "Terapii (therapy), terapii, terapii, tera (temple)-- Oh, the age of temples?" Wordplay/stupid joke

[7] I don't like how I worded this line, but I don't care enough to spend much more time fussing over it. Kuukou's making a joke that, as a monk, he delivers religious sermons 説法. However, in colloquial terms, a 説法 is a telling-off when someone does something undesirable. Kuukou, as a frequent doer of undesirable things, gets these from his dad constantly. Therefore, he's being like, "This isn't the LAME STUPID kind of 説法... this is the kind that ROCKS! *sick guitar riff*"

[8] These two lines seem like complete non sequiturs because they're paired together in Japanese for rhyming. (nami ga dekiru/nani ga mieru)

[9] I admit that I'm struggling to understand this line because the grammar is very irregular. Japanese Twitter is not being especially helpful here, as most Tweets featuring it are some version of "God, this damn song is stuck in my head."

[10] Literally "[Someone] changes the atmosphere/scene. The atmosphere/scene changes." See note 1

#hypmic translations #hypmic asks

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ao3feed-xicheng · 3 months

Link

by vivillainous

Prince Lan Wangji meets the son of neighboring King Wei Wuxian when is 7, and falls in love. He insists that Wei Wuxian must marry him when they're older. Wei Wuxian says yes to placate him but little does he know Lans only love once. He's made a promise for life. 13 years later, the two princes of Gusu are looking to marry and Wei Wuxian still remembers Lan Wangji as a baby, but little does he know ୧| ͡ᵔ ﹏ ͡ᵔ |

a.k.a wwx is a pretty omega lwj meets at their visit to cr and falls instantly in love.

I'm sorry for the messy description lmao I'll change it as I write along this is the first work lmao I'll improve Thank you sm for reading ily mwah

Words: 3011, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Wanxian Arranged Marriage AUs

Fandoms: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M, M/M

Additional Tags: Arranged Marriage, Top Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Bottom Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Omega Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Alpha Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Beta Wen Ning | Wen Qionglin, Alpha Wen Qing (Modao Zushi), Alpha Lan Huan | Lan Xichen, General Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Emperor Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Empress Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn in Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn's Body, Older Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Younger Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, they're legal though dw no peophilia, They meet as kids, and lwj simps as he does, and wwx is his usual oblivious self, years later: bam! arranged marriage, author is a sucker for arranged marriage, Simp Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, General's wife wei wuxian, Prince Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, LOOOTTA TIME SKIPS, Mpreg, Alpha Lan Yuan | Lan Sizhui, Child Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī, Child Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Child Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī Has Feelings, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī is Bad at Feelings, wwx hits him like a wrecking ball, miley cyrus wrote the song about them, wwx calls lwj little apple, no im not kidding thats just how it turned out, im high rn maybe ignoer its 2 am im not coherent, Good Parent Yú Zǐyuān, Good Parent Jiāng Fēngmián

#ao3feed #fanfic #xicheng #jiang cheng #lan xichen #mdzs #cql

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stone-97 · 4 months

Text

FNAF: SB – Revelations

A different plot idea I’ve been bouncing around my head is what would happen if a massive blackout occurred in Security Breach as Gregory (Post-GGY) is being chased by Vannessa through the Plex. It always piqued my interest how GGY and Gregory would interact with each other, same with Vanessa and Vanny. Here is my take on their interactions. Gregory chatting with his savior, as Vanessa confronts Vanny on what had befallen her entire life prior to the PizzaPlex; the truth behind Foxy’s and Bonnie’s deaths will also be unveiled.

CHAPTER 1: The Mother Wakes

“Wake up Gregory. Time to go.”

“HHHUUUGGGGGH!” I come in contact with a cold surface.

Everything felt so sore, but I felt an immense buzzing in my head, but this floor is unforgiving with the chill it exudes. It hurts to think more than standing, I want to crumple into a mess on the floor right now. I can barely stand, much less walk, but staying in this damp, dimly lit room wasn’t much better. I wobble forward on unsteady feet to the bed.

“Hello, is anyone in there?” A stranger’s standing in front of my door?

A voice cuts through the silence and buzzing in my head. I feel myself jump in surprise; my vision, blurred as it is, turns to the door behind me.

-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-

I can feel my mind violently recoil as the stranger waits in…expectance? What’s going on here, I’ve never heard this voice in my entire life. However, my body is trying to move on it’s own. I’m swaying as a war tears my very being, why does my body turn obedient to someone unknown to me.

-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-HRN-

“OW! I’m gonna be sick! How did I end up here, this isn’t my kitchen.”

Despite my body lurching backwards, letting gravity run its course, I fall to the wall beside me and slump to the floor like a doll. My mind deems this safe as the rest of me goes cold in the silence. Despite this happening, I feel the stranger no longer wants to wait as the atmosphere constricts immensely to his unanswered question.

“Open up. It’s alright, miss, your son asked me to find you. This isn’t a safe place.” This guy is scaring me.

“Who is he, how does this guy know I have a son when I’ve never spoken a word.” I can feel my mind racing as it seems he knows about my life.

-KNOCK-KNOCK-

“Miss, open up please, your son is outside the building.” His voice still sounds convincing, yet I feel acid and poison.

Despite my mind’s best interest in my silence, my mouth opens immediately to demand answers.

“Where am I? What happened to me? Where’s Luis? What’s my son’s name?” Like a motor mouth, the questions fly into the tense air.

It suddenly feels ominous as nothing but explosive anger rings into the man’s voice in response to my questions.

“WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! OPEN THE DOOR IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!” My body recoils in fear as my mind’s suspicions were proven.

-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-

The sound of metal meeting flesh rises with each hit, the door groans but remains firm to the violence. Eventually a different sound rises from afar, my body reacted so violently everything became blurred as my mind felt excitement and…warmth?

“GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR” The floor rocked in response, like a giant landed on the ground.

-CRASH-CRASH-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-BAM-

“GET OFF ME, MONSTER, I’VE NO TIME FOR YOU! VVVAAAAAANNNNNNYYYYYY!” His voice trails as the noise trails off.

I don’t know who Vanny is, but my mind sure does. Seems like something bad happened, bad enough to land me in this cell. However, I need to leave before either of them return, despite the feelings in my body and mind, I know I must go.

PITTER-PATTER-PITTER-PATTER-CCCCRRRRRRREEEEEAAAAAAAKKKKKKK-PITTER-PATTER-PITTER-PATTER-PITTER-PATTER-

“Gregory!” I feel anxiety and hesitance erupt in my heart as the door cracks open.

I lunge for the door, hope blossoming as I feel more stable moving. However, I’m met with an empty hallway, three paths emptying before me, no light visible down either, but the cold from each one is different. I can’t make heads or tails of this, but clearly left and right are out of the question. The “Beast” came from the left pathway and the stranger’s voice faded into the middle pathway. My only option left is the coldest of them all, the right pathway.

Turning myself to the right completely, I’m frozen as a familiar pair of ruby red eyes stares at me, giggles abound as SHE pounces down the pathway. I feel such animosity that the whisper I gave was freezing as RAW HATE overtook me.

“You’re not getting away from me.” My body blitzes down the darkened passage.

“I know this may be a trap but chasing HER is better than the previous two.” My gut is in knots, but I keep running.

“Where are you going?” I whisper into the cold hallway.

END CHAPTER

#fnaf au #fnaf vanessa #fnaf glitchtrap #fnaf jeremy #princess quest: spite and sorrow #canon divergent au #fnaf sb

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dykevanny · 6 months

Note

roxanne wolf transgender.they used to have foxy but then foxy was like yarghh. I am not a guy. So they rebranded her completely . Hrt hit so hard she’s a wolf now.

REAL !!!!!!

i like to think that every single time they tried to recode foxy in some way (toy foxy and funtime foxy) it made them trans. so they tried to recode him to be more “glamrock” and less “pirate” and exactly like the last couple times it transed her fuckin gender and they were like UGHH whatever its cheaper to not redo ur code, we should be able to just repaint most of ur casing. maybe having the band split evenly will be good for us.

also also i like to imagine that ““glamrock”” foxy does exist hes just. a daycare attendant. kids cove!!!! they just kept his code (mostly) the same and didnt try to get rid of his pirateness bc Apparently Hes Only A Guy If Hes Also A Pirate. anyways hes technically newer than roxy but only in physical model. he freddy chica and bonnie are the big siblings of the newbies <333

also i like to joke that roxys og code is from foxy fighters, a fnaf world minigame. in that foxy has three girl besties (toy chica, nightmare chica, and jj) and they r all badasses. anyways she was one of the gals back then too <3 (yeah i will take any opportunity to relate things to fnaf world. i luv fnaf world <3)

BUT ALSO i have seen ppl headcanoning that they left up her deadname and branding of her pre transition around and that plays into her self esteem issues. WHICH IS ALSO GOOD but also so so sad. but im a sucker for angst…..

ill stop talking ur ears off (at least for tonight loll) cause i have to sleep <3 honestly im surprised i talked so little abt trans roxy.. i expected better of me smh /lh

I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT……… pirate is the one (1) variable keepi g this animatronic from transitioning…… they gave that fox a keytar and bam. Girl Moment.

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meegadeeth · 2 years

Text

Jackass/CKY head cannons if they all knew each other when they were in middle/high school and were friends lmao.

***

• Whenever they were all in the van and listening to music, whoever was closest to the radio would turn on a song from N'Sync or Backstreet Boys and then all of them would just stare at Bam and wait.

- "What do you fuck-heads want?" (Bam)

- "C'mon Bam, we know you have a boy band side! (Johnny)

- "That's not true!" (Bam)

- "Ryan said so!" (Johnny)

- "DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! I HAVE PROOF!" (Ryan)

And soon enough when everyone acted like they weren't paying attention Bam would mumble every word to the song.

• The guys would make fun of Bam for being emo. Like they were all getting ready for something and Bam would walk out in the EMOIST shit he could and Ryan would just put his face in his hands before laughing while everyone just shook their heads and Bam stood, confused.

• Bam and Ryan would just make eye contact and instantly lose their shit with laughter. Like Jeff could be talking about something and everyone turns around to see the two laughing with tears streaming down their faces but also being across the room from each other.

• Sometimes Johnny would do/say something very southern / country like and the others would just stare at him.

- "Jesus, it's hot out here." (Ryan)

- "You're sweatin' like a muddy pig in its pen on a humid day!" (Johnny)

- *Everyone staring*

- "What?" (Chris)

- "Ryan's sweating real hard." (Johnny)

- "Oh, okay." (Steve-o)

- "Christ, just say that next time, not all of us speak hick." (Bam)

• Bam and Ryan would make each other playlists or give song recommendations to each other and the other would make sure they make time to listen to it.

• On road trips they would all definitely take turns driving except Ryan.

- "Alright, I'm done, who's turn is it?" (Ehren)

- "Me! I want a turn!" (Ryan)

- "No!" (Bam, Dico, and Raab)

• I feel like when Bam and Ryan first met and since Bam was 12 and Ryan was 16 (if I remember correctly) I feel like Ryan and Bam would go do something with a crowd and Ryan would grab Bam's arm and just, "EXCUSE ME! BAM IS TRYING TO GET THROUGH! THANK YOU!"

• Whenever Bam or Jess did something stupid Ryan, Dico, Rake, Raab, or Novak would all act like April and yell at them in a high-pitch voice.

• Raab and Bam would go to school dances together if they didn't have dates and absolutely ruin it for everyone.

• Whenever another guy got hurt and bitched about it or was in a bad mood I feel like the rest of the guys would say something like "I think it's time to change your pad/tampon!" Or "I think you put your tampon in the wrong way."

• Dave would shit in random places to stink it up for the other guys even when they weren't filming! Like Dave would sit next to one of them randomly and just start shitting to see how mad they get.

• Either Bam would make Ryan binge shows/movies or Ryan would make Bam binge shows/movies.

• Eventually Bam would end up calling Ryan, Ry. One time when they were all together and it slipped and the guys just looked at him and laughed, especially Ryan.

• They would call Bam and Ryan boyfriends.

• They would also call Johnny and Steve-o boyfriends.

• Bam would turn on scream-o songs and like scream them at the top of his lungs while Ryan just sits next to him and stares at him, wondering how he even understands the lyrics.

• On Ryan's birthday Bam would make sure to over-do it. Bam would literally leave his own house around 11 to make it at Ryan's so he could be right next to Ryan when it hit 12:00 AM on his birthday to scream until he woke up and then tell him happy birthday in the calmest way possible.

- "AAAAAHHHH! WAKE THE FUCK UP!!" (Bam)

- "Jesus Christ! What?!" (Ryan)

- "Happy birthday, man." (Bam)

- "Thanks, I guess." (Ryan with a sigh)

• Bam, Ryan, Novak, Dico, and Raab would race to school everyday and then race home after.

What I feel like their places would be:

1 - Raab (WON)

2 - Bam

3 - Dico

4 - Novak

5 - Ryan (LOST)

• None of their parents liked Bam, Dave, Raab, or Novak. I'm not saying I don't like them but it just has to be said!

• Everyone's parents adored Johnny though!

• April has tried to convince Ryan multiple times to take a long bath when he stays over for the night.

• Bam, Raab, and Dico always cheat off each other but obviously end up failing while Ryan and Novak don't even bother to try and cheat off them.

• The guys would do small and nice things for Ehren randomly and he would instantly back up and leave the room while the others were laughing and still trying to give him something.

- "Hey, Ehren. I got you something!" (Johnny with a wrapped present)

- "Fuck you!" (Ehren, rubbing away)

- "What the fuck?" (Steve-o)

- "I told you guys he hates surprises." (Dave)

• Bam and Ryan usually didn't vent to each other but when they did it was LONG talks that lasted for hours on Bam's roof or somewhere they wanted to be.

• Bam and Ryan would consistently have sleepovers.

• Raab and Dico watching cartoons til 5am.

• Jess waking up and finding Bam, Ryan, Raab, Dico, and Novak spread out around the living room, sleeping.

• Bam and Steve-o skating around Johnny and making fun of how he couldn't skate to save his life.

• Bam and Ryan staying up on call all night until April yelled at Bam for laughing and talking too loud.

• Bam joking about how he wishes he was that toy car (I'm sorry but we know he would).

• Wee-man always bagging Bam when he skates by on his skateboard.

• Bam showing Ryan little signs of caring about him like letting him pick music or making sure Ryan's in the passenger seat while he's driving and stuff like that.

• Steve-o scaring the guys while being in his clown make-up.

• Raab running around Dico while Bam chases him.

• Bam mocking Johnny with a country accent and calling him 'Young man' or 'Cowboy' all the time.

• Novak getting him and Bam matching stuff while Bam just rolls his eyes and acts like he hates it but he actually loves it.

• Preston and Wee-man having their own sleepovers because they're besties.

• Bam and Ryan randomly boxing each other. They aren't even mad. It could be in the morning and as soon as they see each other just BOOM.

• Ehren and Chris definitely have called Johnny daddy.

• Bam and Steve-o trying to teach Johnny to skate but simply giving up.

- "OW!" (Johnny)

- "Come on, Knoxville, get your ass up!" (Bam)

- "Come on! Try again, we don't care how bad it is!" (Steve-o)

• In return, Johnny would try to teach Bam and Steve-o how to do si do.

- "I'm not country enough for this!" (Bam)

- "Come on, Margera, get your ass up!" (Johnny)

- "You're not funny at all." (Bam)

• Chris would give someone a lap dance on their birthday rather they asked or not.

***

[1206 words]

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meowzfordayz · 1 year

Note

ey ey ey what's up! long time no taaalk ლ(^o^ლ)

just took the exam i've been studying for for 2 1/2 months anD AAAGSHSJBKSkdn it went from 7am to 6pm straight (bc there's drafting, drawing tests) + (tho ur allowed to eat/break whenever u just gotta manage ur time well) ain't gonna go over the deets bc i've moved on already 😭😅 just that it friED MY BRAIN and my frEAKIN BODY LIKe i had to slap some salonpas on my neck and back bc KSKSKS taking that test felt like i got hit by an efFINGSJEH truck :)

ended up finishing an hour early and but uhm aaHHHHJSBDJ ✨what's important is that it's over 😌✨

how r uuuu?! I hope ur eating+resting well bc if not thEN AM GONna come theRE AND BabY u 😤

p.s. i was only out for a couple of weeks here, came back and bAM everyone be horny for hantengu's clones 😭 my dudessss 🤧 -🧦

Hullo !! 😁 Totally random tangent, but Tumblr's being such a c*nt. 😭 Using emojis on mobile leads to txt disappearing, but my laptop's fucky-wucky and its direct emoji tab doesn't always open either, so now I'm answering Asks on desktop while constantly switching to a separate tab to copy & pasta emojis from. 💀

ANYWAY.

THAT'S WILD. 😳 I'm so, so proud of you !!!!! 🥳😍 M'sorry I'm not there to rub your neck (I have strong fingers heh), but I hope you're feeling better by now (and I'm sure you did alright). 🤗

I was under the weather last ~Wednesday through this weekend, but I'm finally feeling nearly 100% again! 😮‍💨 Def lowkey stressing since my semester ends in ~2.5 weeks, but highkey feeling fine otherwise. 😂☺️

Sending you terrific Tuesday vibes !! 💝

P.S. SRSLY lololol. 🥴 I totally get the appeal, but am also more than satisfied w/ my current faves. 🤪 Of which there're too many to list.

#answered by T #anon: 🧦

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vividracing · 2 months

Photo

New Post has been published on https://www.vividracing.com/blog/top-9-best-mods-for-the-cam-am-x3-turbo-r-2017-2023/

Top 9 Best Mods for the Cam-Am X3 Turbo R 2017 - 2023

Intro into the Can-Am X3. What makes this a great UTV but what does it lack? We have 9 upgrades here that are sure to evolve your UTV into a trail smashing and podium securing car!

As spring break approaches, why settle for ordinary? Get ready to create unforgettable memories with the Can-Am Maverick X3 Turbo leading the way. Let’s hit the trails and leave ordinary behind! Check out our favorite upgrades and also some setbacks from these upgrades!

1. Agency Power Turbo Upgrade Can-Am Maverick X3 Turbo 2017-2021

Get ready to take it to a whole new level. Picture this: You add a simple ECU flash and exhaust, and bam! Those 3-cylinder turbocharged engines become absolute beasts. But here’s the kicker: After you’ve done all the basic bolt-on mods, the next big move? A full turbo upgrade.

Now, here’s where it gets even better. Agency Power offers a complete OEM replacement turbo upgrade for the Can-Am Maverick X3 Turbo. This isn’t some half-baked modification – it’s the real deal.

We’re talking about a turbo that’s designed to fit like a glove, no messing around. Plus, it comes with everything you need for a smooth installation – silicone adapters, precision-fit oil and water lines, the works.

Now, let’s talk numbers. We’re looking at a 60+ horsepower gain on pump gas alone, with even more potential on race gas with the right tuning and mods. And the best part? You can still keep all your existing performance mods – exhaust system, intercooler, intake, you name it.

So, if you’re ready to take your Maverick X3 Turbo to the next level, this turbo upgrade is your ticket to horsepower heaven. Buckle up, because things are about to get wild.

2. Agency Power Valvetronic Dump Race Pipe Can-Am Maverick X3 Turbo 2017-2023

Alright, listen up, speed enthusiasts! If you’re all about tearing it up on the track or dominating off-road races, then this one’s for you. But let’s be crystal clear from the get-go: the Agency Power valvetronic dump race pipe is strictly for the racetrack. No joyrides on the street, folks. You’ll need to sign our Vehicle Compliance Waiver before getting your hands on this bad boy.

Now, let’s talk game-changer. Picture this: the Agency Power valvetronic dump race pipe – the first of its kind in the UTV scene. Drawing inspiration from our turbocharged marvels like the Porsche 911 Turbo, this race pipe is the ultimate weapon for upping your game. It’s all about boosting performance, cranking up the sound, all while keeping that stock look intact.

So, what’s the secret sauce? By ditching that factory catalytic converter, we’re talking about unleashing a torrent of exhaust flow, giving your turbocharger the freedom to breathe like never before. Sure, it’s a tad louder than stock, but hey, nothing earplugs can’t handle, right?

Hit that button, and it’s like flipping a switch from “mild” to “wild”. That vacuum-operated valve opens wide, redirecting your exhaust straight from the turbocharger. Everyone within earshot will know you mean business.

Crafted from tough T304 stainless steel, this baby’s built to last. Precision welded, CNC machined, and packed with all the bells and whistles you need for a seamless install. Plus, it’s designed to work seamlessly with other aftermarket mufflers, giving you even more room to customize your ride.

From the flex joint that keeps cracks at bay to the O2 bung for your factory oxygen sensor, every detail’s been dialed in to perfection. Oh, and did I mention the slick AP logo brackets? Because, yeah, we’re all about those finishing touches.

So, if you’re ready to unleash the full potential of your ride, look no further than the Agency Power valvetronic dump race pipe. It’s not just a game-changer – it’s a game-winner.

3. Agency Power Black Intercooler Upgrade Can-Am Maverick X3 Turbo 2020-2023

Introducing the Can-Am Maverick X3 intercooler upgrade for the 2020 model year – engineered to be the pinnacle of performance and efficiency. The Agency Power intercooler stands tall as the epitome of excellence, whether your ride is straight off the lot or a fully decked-out powerhouse.

Let’s talk heat. Inadequate intercoolers? They’re the arch-nemesis, causing sky-high intake temps that zap your engine’s power. But fear not, because we’ve got the ultimate solution. Our intercooler boasts a colossal 12″x11″x4″ bar-and-plate aluminum core, delivering unmatched air volume and maximizing cooling surface area. Oh, and did we mention the fin density? It’s been cranked up to the max for optimal contact, all without sacrificing a drop of boost pressure.

But wait, there’s more. Our team of engineering wizards set out to design this intercooler, they had one mission: to blend flawless function with seamless form. No cutting, no modifications – just a direct swap for your factory intercooler. Plus, it plays nice with your OEM fan and works like a charm with either factory hoses or our own Agency Power blow off valve hose.

So, what are you waiting for? Say goodbye to overheating headaches and hello to peak performance with the Can-Am Maverick X3 intercooler upgrade. It’s not just an upgrade – it’s a game-changer.

4. Agency Power Big Brake Kit Front and Rear Can-Am Maverick X3 Turbo

Well, we’ve got this thing… It’s a Big Brake Kit, and trust me, it’s like, totally not something you’d normally think about, but hear me out – you absolutely need it!

We’re talking about a complete overhaul of your braking system. Our calipers? Two-piece construction, ultra-rigid, and totally bolt-on. And get this: no additional brackets or spacers needed. We’ve thought of everything, trust me.

Oh, and those pistons? Custom machined for maximum surface area, just like the big boys. Plus, they’re lightweight, so they move like butter. And let’s not forget about the rotors – two-piece cast iron beauties that dissipate heat like nobody’s business. Because, you know, nobody likes a spongy pedal.

But hey, don’t just take my word for it. We’ve tested this bad boy with all the common wheels – Method Race, Fuel Wheels, you name it. And yeah, it won’t clear those stock 14-inch wheels, but who needs ’em anyway?

So, if you’re ready to step up your braking game – and trust me, you totally should – then the Agency Power Big Brake Kit is your ticket to stopping power nirvana. I mean, it’s not like you’ll be stopping on a dime, but hey, it’s a start, right?

5. Agency Power Adjustable Rear Radius Rod Set Black Can-Am Maverick X3

Upgrade your Can-Am Maverick X3’s handling game with our rear radius arms – trust us, it’s a game-changer. You know those wonky camber and toe settings? Yeah, we’ve got you covered. Plus, we’ve beefed up these babies to handle whatever the X3 throws their way – think sand whoops and trail climbs.

Our Agency Power rear radius arms are machined from solid 6061 aluminum for ultimate durability. Say goodbye to those flimsy factory arms – ours are built to last. And get this: they’re fully adjustable, so you can fine-tune your ride on the fly. Oh, and did we mention the slick powder-coated finish? It’s available in all your favorite colors to match your X3’s vibe.

But wait, there’s more. Each arm features high-quality spherical rod ends for unbeatable performance. Plus, they’re a direct replacement for those wimpy stock components – no fuss, no muss.

So, if you’re ready to take your X3 to the next level, these rear radius arms are the way to go. Trust us, your ride will thank you.

https://www.vividracing.com/handling-arms-c-4311.html?class_8=39000&class_9=41832&manufacturers_id=135

6. MTS Off-Road Limit Strap Kit Can-Am X3

So, you’ve heard of limit straps, right? They’re like these things that help protect your Can-Am X3 when the shocks are doing their thing. They kind of keep your axles and suspension components from going too crazy by limiting how far they can droop.

And yeah, these limit straps are made from really good quality stuff. Like, seriously top-notch craftsmanship and materials.

Oh, and just a heads up, the straps you get might look a bit different from what you see here. Just, you know, keep that in mind.

So, if you’re into protecting your ride and stuff, these limit straps might be a thing to consider.

7. HCR Racing 72 Inch Elite OEM Replacement Front A-arm Kit Can-Am Maverick X3 XRS

Hey, check out this sweet upgrade for your Can-Am Maverick X3 72″ model – it’s the HCR Suspension’s Elite OEM Replacement Front A-arm Kit.

Basically a heavy-duty, lightweight version of the front A-arms that come stock with your X3. But get this: it adds an extra 1.5 inches of ground clearance thanks to the design of the lower A-arms. Pretty slick, right?

Plus, it’s all about that stealthy look with these arms. They’ve got these awesome stealth approach angles that not only give your ride a clean aesthetic but also add some serious versatility to your setup.

And don’t worry about adding extra weight to your rig – these arms are comparable in weight to the stock ones. So, you’re not sacrificing performance for durability.

Oh, and let’s talk strength. These babies are made from HCR Alloy construction, which is like, way tougher than your standard 4130 chromoly. So, you can bet they’ll hold up to whatever you throw at them.

In the kit, you’ll get 4 front A-arms and 16 HCR Custom Delrin Bushings, along with all the brake line mounting hardware you need.

All in all, if you’re looking to beef up your Maverick X3 and take your off-road adventures to the next level, this front A-arm kit is definitely worth checking out. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed!

https://www.vividracing.com/hcr-racing-inch-elite-oem-replacement-front-aarm-kit-canam-maverick-xrs-p-152685099.html

8. VR Forged D15 Wheel Set Trail Can-Am Maverick X3 15×7

Alright, buckle up because we’ve got something exciting here – the VR Forged D15 UTV wheel, ready to roll straight outta the box and onto your Can-Am Maverick X3.

Crafted from a full 1 piece forged monoblock wheel, designed to take on whatever terrain you throw at them. And guess what? They’re in stock and ready to ship, no waiting around like with other forged wheels. Just pick your favorite tires, slap ’em on, and you’re good to go!

These wheels are built to last, with superior strength and a much lighter weight than your standard cast wheels. Perfect for those rough and tumble rides, while still looking sleek enough for everyday use.

And check out that design – 8 sleek spokes that not only look killer but also give you a sneak peek at those brake calipers. Plus, we made sure these wheels play nice with popular big brake kits like the Agency Power upgrade. Because, you know, stopping power is kinda important too…

Oh, and did I mention they come with center caps and feature a knurled bead area for added grip when you’re tearing up the trails? Talk about attention to detail.

So, if you’re ready to take your Can-Am Maverick X3 to the next level, these VR Forged D15 wheels are the way to go. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed!

9. Tensor Tire Desert Series Race Tire 35×10 15

Hey, I know things might feel a bit uncertain right now, but if there’s one thing you can count on, it’s the Tensor Tire Desert Series Race lineup. I mean, when it comes to competition-legal UTV race tires, these bad boys are the real deal.

Picture this: you’ve got three options to choose from – the DSR30, the DSR33, or the towering DSR37. Each one designed to give you that edge you need out there on the track.

These tires not messing around. With a patented American-made design, they’re built specifically for competition. Plus, that proprietary nylon bias ply with fiberglass belted construction? It’s all about saving weight without sacrificing strength.

But here’s where it gets really exciting – that decreased weight? It means you’re unleashing every last bit of horsepower from your machine. And with the evolved closed tread pattern, you’re getting maximum traction without putting extra strain on your drivetrain.

Oh, and did I mention the steering response? It’s off the charts. Plus, you’re getting increased biting edges for quicker acceleration and unique ribbed protection for those puncture-prone sidewalls.

Legal for SCORE UTV Racing? Check. Legal for BITD UTV Race Season? You bet.

So, yeah, times might be tough, but with the Tensor Tire Desert Series Race lineup, you’re investing in performance you can count on. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

#4 Lug UTV Wheels #Agency Power #Can-Am #HRC Lower Control Arms #HRC Upper Control Arms #Tensor Tires #UTV #VR Forged D15 #VR Forged UTV Wheels

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enhadiares · 2 months

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🌸- I am in 10th rn, and I'm gonna have science ka exam on 2nd march!? IDK if its just me of do the 4 days gap b/w exams is making me too distracted like- ITNI CHUTTI KYU!? I'm not even scared atp, its so boring! also yess; 1. Todays' TMI ? => I went on a cafe date with some classmates of mine, we had a lot of fun, shittalking about the boards and all, I tried mocha latte (honestly WORTH IT! like its soo good!!!) and had a strawberry croissant (not worth it :( tasted like cream roll but with strawberry filling) and strawberry tart (LOVED IT!! so refreshing, and light, somewhat like a cheesecake!). 2. Aaloo parantha or mooli parantha? => Aaloo parantha forever because I HATE mooli like I literally despise it! I feel like puking whenever I have it, so I just stopped eating it altogether. Also mooli makes your breath smell bad and farts smell leathal, I would willingly want THAT! 3. Chai or coffee (or any other drink of choice)? =>i I used to drink chai allot but then i got overwhelmed and now I don't like it unless I'm sick, because bimari me sirf aadrak wali chai hi baacha ti h! So right now, definitely coffee! 4. Comfort song (enha or any other artist)? => Has to be ONLY by leehi, Try Again by Jaehyun, 5. Enha bias? => SUNGHOON SUNGHOON SUNGHOON LIEK I CANNOT STOP FEELING ALL GIDDY WHEN EVER I LOOK AT HIM, IM SO IN LOVE ITS NOT FUNNY, LIKE I EVEN CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP WHEN THE REALIZATION HIT THAT HOONIE CAN'T BE MINE!? 6. when did you get into kpop and your first kpop group + song? => Around 2019, TWICEE mothers frfr! I listened to FANCY MV on a very random tuesday of 2019 and then saw MINA and decided to JUST KNOW HER NAME, spiralled down the rabbit hole eventually became a ONCE, ARMY, REVELUV. then in 2020, 18th august I randomly saw a survival show clips and decided to watch it!...bam NOW I'M AN ENGENE, MY AND DIVE!! 5. Do you buy albums of pcs? => I do have TWICE's EYES WIDE OPEN and I do have a lot of enha PC sets, my parents bought me enha ka manifesto and dark blood engene ver. PC's!! (plus point of being a class topper, reward for getting 97% in halfyearly and an obedient daughter <33 papa ki pari fr. They said they'd get me an enha album if I do well in boards, SO 🫡🫡)

Bhai humme toh 20 din ki chutti hai 😭😭 makes me feel like I'm on a summer vaca (no studying whatsoever)

Upar se no holi for us because inse ek exam jaldi nai rakhi gayi 😭?!?

Bhai I am so jealous 😭☝️ yaha my parents don't even let me go out boards ke time , ko in at home for 2 months straight like a kaid panchi (imprisoned bird)

Upar se i want to score good like 90 above but mere liye it's not so easy kyuki i don't like studies 😇 pary for me🙏

#desi engene squad 😋#🌸 anon #✦⋆ ᘞ˺͙ 🌸 (＞。☆)

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ecoamerica · 29 days

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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regular-john-16278 · 5 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers!

(no one tagged me I just wanna do it)

1.) How many works do you have on AO3?

7, officially, but I've been writing for yonks and I used to like write a fic and then orphan it when I was younger and I did that a lot so idk fully lol

2.) What's your current AO3 word count?

again officially, 166,268 (although this is due to start increasing again)

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

AOT & kinnporsche. I have WIPS for good omens, marauders, LOTR, Not Me, manner of death, mdzs, mortal instruments/shadowhunters & supernatural tho

4.) Top five fics by kudos?

Take Me Somewhere Nice

Blood Hands

The Usual

Don't Tell

Hear Me

(which only tells me I need to write more bc i dont like 2/5 of those anymore lol)

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

absolutely every single one if i can, although I usually leave it until ive updated then go through em all while the nxt chapter is fresh in my mind idk why

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhhhhhhhh they all have pretty happy endings tbh i actually rly dont like angsty endings they stress me out lol. if i had to pick maybe New Dawn Fades but thats bc its a horny ending

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hahahahaha uhhhhh probably The Usual just bc its sooooo fucking corny and cheesy like tooth rot shit that i wrote in 2019

8.) Do you receive hate?

eh not rly, sometimes get like constructive criticism n people correcting my errors but i respect that like ur helping me out at the end of the day so cheers.

9.) Do you write smut?

yeah mate im getting my head around it i had a break but im back on that bullshit

10.) Do you write crossovers?

nah. my brain is too small to get my head around diff universes. take my metaphorical hat off to people that do write crossovers tho that shit seems super complicated to me

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i am aware of but ive had people offer to publish my shit elsewhere which i have no interest in

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

YES by ME into ITALIAN but thats it no one else has translated my shit. I am tempted to translate all my fics into italian tho maybe

13.) Have you co-written a fic before?

sort of? i proofread for a bit, and i had a rly cool idea for a crossover collab situation with an old discord pal but that never hit the ground alas. still have the WIP somewhere on docs, who knows one day it could come into fruition.

14.) What's your all time favourite ship?

........ all time is a ROUGH question.

up until like 2020 it was eren n levi from AOT, like there was a time when i ONLY read AOT fics.

but now....

hmmmm thats rough actually. I think maybe malec just because they were like one of the first gay couples i consumed in media. Just imagine little John sat in the back of the library reading my cool nephilim demon killing book and BAM gay and bisexual characters got me feeling all warm and fuzzy n shit ygm

15.) A WIP you doubt you'll ever finish?

that is ACTIVE, lol probably New Dawn Fades idk why apologies, maybe one day

that is in my docs drive, 1000000000% the mdzs fic thats set in a lotr-esque universe AKA all the sects are elf clans. I put a shit ton of effort into planning it like honestly HOURS but im so intimidated by my plan idk if i cld ever finish it haha

16.) Writing strengths?

hmm

i like that moment when a character sees someone they are bound to fall in love with / are immediately in love with. idk if thats a strength thats more of a like

dialogue i guess, mainly bc my best fic is currently PURELY dialogue

tenderness and hurt/comfort situations omfg i live for that shit

17.) Writing weaknesses?

I get overexcited and rush shit lol

i never wanna end stuff so i drag it on for ages too so direct opposite

18.) Will you write dialogue in another language?

yessir i frequently do and intent to continue doing so

19.) What was your first fandom?

if we're talking fanfic fandom, then AOT

20.) What's your favourite fic that you've ever written?

like all my WIPS hahahahahha

if we're talking active then def take me somewhere nice tbh for some fucking reason, although im still chuffed with the concept of blood hands

do this if u want, i just saw this and felt like it bc i am procrastinating from fic writing how mad is that

#ao3 #fanfic #kinnporsche #aot

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mrkhan75090 · 8 months

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AIdvantage Review-Full OTO Details + Bonus

AIdvantage Review - Product Overview

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croissantbae · 1 year

Text

12/28/22

1. I’m afraid of sleeping. I’ve had a string of sleepless nights and lately my insomnia seems to be back. The entire night I go in and out of sleep. I’ll feel awake the entire night but then I’ll realize I must have slept at some point because the awake I feel now feels diff than the awake I felt earlier. And so it goes on throughotu the night, being awake and asleep, awake and asleep.

Two days ago I woke up and I couldn’t move my neck. It was insane how much it hurt. It was honestly shocking. I was also starting to get sick so my throat hurt, my head felt congested, and I had a cold sore. It all hit me with a bam. When I slept the following night, I rolled up a towel to use that as a pillow cause I saw that it’s good to use a low pillow so that your spin is flat but the towel was so hard. and at one point naya tried to share my towel pillow with me. I was so annoyed. I yelled at her. I was like naya stop! then she started crying. I dont even know wht time that was but must have been like 2 am.

all to say, im scared of the nights. because now im ike what other horrible ailment could I wake up with? how many sleepless nights can I have?

jason has been such a champ while i’ve been hurt though. took the girls on his own to ikea and all.

2. singles inferno is outrageously fun this season.

3. Jennette Mcurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died is such an interesting read. I really wonder who didn’t want her to direct an episode. I feel like it was ariana grande lol.

4. the girls are so incredibly cute. yes they’re difficult and crazy too but I feel so lucky that they’re my kids. naya is so classically good / rule abiding. today I found her throwing away candy from her backpack. she said “this candy is old, right?” and just kept proceeding to throw them away even though they really weren’t old (its just something we tell her sometimes so she doesn’t eat it). I was like wow, this kid is so by the book. like she might be a psychopath lol. just kidding of course. but I do feel like we should focus her self-discipline in some way. it’s sad cause she’ can be so mean to dani sometimes. like one time dani was caressing naya’s hair and naya would scream “DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T TOUCH ME!” but anyway naya is such a sweetie otherwise lol.

dani can do no wrong to me. she’s terrible and throws more tantrums and is resisting naps but I just find everything she does to be so funny and cute. the way she talks, her singing, the jokes she makes, her smile, everyhing. adorable.

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builder051 · 1 year

Note

I'll take Sherlock and Glee for the asks game if you please.

Sherlock (2010s starring Benedict Cumberbatch)--100% of brain lights up in complete delight... until it all starts to go downhill

Firstly, as you all know, I am on the autism spectrum, and so is one of my biological parents. That is NOT an excuse for improper social behavior, but giving you the background information about possibly how and why happens (or happens to such an extent) could lend some context.

I love to create. Any kind of content. Writing, drawing, painting, photo editing, sewing, setting margins for business letters... the list could go on. It makes me so happy to take on a project that feels fun and feasible. Something I learned when I was young was, basically, if you don't have it, you don't necessarily have to buy it. Look at your materials, or at cheaper materials, and create what you want exactly the way you want it (like, if the beaded princess crown at the Busch Gardens gift shop is, in fact, too big for your head, we can hit up Walmart and get wire and beads and make a crown that fits you, in any color you want).

I've carried that attitude through most of my life. Like, nice-fitting jeans from Goodwill-- I can hem them, the length doesn't matter.

That's actually given me a lot of confidence in my abilities, and it brings out ingenuity with problem solving, especially when it's crunch time (like, signed paper needs to be delivered to the customer--whose office is in Montana--before a certain deadline in not-my-timezone? No prob. Run to my boss's office, hand him a pen, run to the fax machine, run to the phone, let the Montana contact know the doc has been sent, and bam. (Sure, the expectation may be for an engineering review, and the expected delivery method may be SharePoint link, but a signature from the maximum authority and the convenience of instant delivery? No one can complain about that.)

Things start to go south, though, when my efforts (which I consider to be "good energy," if that makes sense) don't wind up doing what I want them to do, or things turn out to be much more difficult than expected. For example, when using black paper and a white marker for a drawing, it will become clear, when one tests the quality of several white markers on a scrap paper, that some are better quality, or better suited to the tasks, than others.

But say I started with the Crayola iridescent paint marker (nice tool for outline/contrast, but not a great choice for linework or edges), and my drawing is not showing up. I must choose, then, to

1) scrap my drawing (and maybe do it again with something like a matte brush tip)

2) go over my drawing again (and again) with the Crayola in hopes of improving what I already have (though with equal probability of ruining it), or

3) become a frustrated mess of hopelessly selfish human and hide under my desk with all the dinosaurs and paper clay and other odds and ends I use for art with my kids.

More often than not, it's choice #3. I don't exactly know how to, like, have frustration for a thing, and, while still acknowledging it as important and real and meaningful (enough so that I still have desire to make the thing and make it in my own correct way), put it away in my brain's side pocket and move to perform different tasks. I tend to try and try and try to bulldoze my way through, risking breaking my supplies (because I so hate leaving projects unfinished, or with the current step/chapter unfinished), or I become sad and feel negatively about myself and my skills and the fact that I will have to put everything away in order to take a break (kids and cats, lol), then get it all out again for my next try.

Glee--cute and quirky, and then it was cutting edge, and then it was the BEST, and then it started tilting the other direction, and it ultimately fell on its own sword and became the absolute WORST

A lot of things, mostly books and classic television programs, that have been considered from, broadly, 1950 to 2020, as "things we will pass down to our grandchildren," including, but not limited to, the following:

Harry Potter-- and that's sad. That's a travesty. Some aged wine grows more precious over time. Some just goes off.

Dr. Seuss--Because he had an actual career, and writing nonsense books was only part of it. I respect that particular treasury. But he was a guy. With a life. And, in comparison, like, even if Bohemian Rhapsody is a glory film, it doesn't erase the bad choices that still stand, unchangeable, in their influence on modern history.

Mr. Rogers (ok, he helps kids learn to tie their shoes... but, I kid you not, one skit in the world of make believe had a puppet who identifies as a woman, performing in a (very fictional) talent show, during which she was dressed up as, and pretending to be, a kitten, who was singing (horrendously) an original song, in which the lyrics begged the Moon (cognizant, apparently, and generous) to give her a star as a birthday present. What the everloving fuck, here? Not to yuk anyone's yum, but... a grown man, who has created an OC 'verse for children (his main consumers) and those who watch with them. I'm seeing... possible ageplay x furry x accompanist? what accompanist? x personification of balls of rock x obvious greed and pestering as a method to be rewarded x light references to Wicca and Paganism (I don't care, but some people might. Could bring on some leading questions from the littles, too.

Magical family recipes that are actually on the back of a can of condensed soup

BMI (used as an indicator of health--Have you ever seen a male ballet dancer? Yeah, like, in jeans on the bus he just looks like a dude. In tights and a tank, he looks like Secretariat. Depending on his height, he probably weighs something like, 1.5x the expected--visually based--BMI. Put him in high-healthy, verging on overweight. He probably eats 3,000+ calories of healthy food on the daily, and regular deadlifts, eh, 100 to 130ish pound partners? See? V healthy. Chart means nothing.)

Binarily- segregated restrooms (Ok, have you seen a toilet stall in Iceland? They're mostly non-gendered, at least in big public places, like the airport. The regular stalls--usually, like, 20 of them in a row, with a couple of handicapped/accessible/baby-changing stalls on the end-- contain one regular toilet. The door and walls go from 1cm above the floor to 1cm below the ceiling. All have sliding locks that operate only from the inside, and outside hardware is barely visible; it's just the flat (no screwdriver marks) heads of the screws that brace the locks to the doors. Then there are sinks. That pour out water. And pumps. For soap. And paper towels. The entire population has a grip on what purpose bathrooms serve, as well as what people do in bathrooms, and the differentiation of both private and public spaces in order to meet most efficiently serve the population.)

Frosted Flakes is (are) the sugary sweet part(s) of a complete breakfast. (!) Conjugate that, Tony Tiger. and WTF is a "complete breakfast?"

Math problems about trains. Nobody cares about crossing paths anymore. It's all arrival time, landing time, time zone, jet lag, how late to your meeting you can be before it's considered rude (and how disheveled are you allowed to look before high fashion hits slobbiness)?

Filler foods, which is a ridiculous American ploy to short farmers and natural food producers by making those goods more expensive and then creating a "store generic brand" version of the same product that's cheaper. Yay, save 20 cents! But that packet of breakfast sausages you just put in your cart is made of mostly soy and meat... leftovers. The brand that's beside it, that has the "naturally raised" sticker on it, that one's made of humanely farmed meat and probably a few salts, spices, and safe preservatives."Far East" instant couscous? Made in America, it's heavily mixed with condensed powdered dairy and soy filler. Kosher couscous pearls, you know, from that tiny aisle with grape jelly and yummy crackers? One ingredient. One! Whole wheat. You do not need a chemistry lab to make couscous.

Why am I so passionately angry about this? I'm allergic to dairy, soy, cashews, and oats. The ONLY milk I can drink is almond. When I eat bites of oral food (usually for social fun), I have to ask for every last ingredient to make sure I will not cause myself to have an allergic reaction, which is different from a gastroparesis flare up, which need to be medically treated differently, lest further damage be caused by overtreatment or symptoms left to stew and spread. My big kid and I are also touch-sensitive to oats, so, in addition to not tolerating whole-grain bread, we cannot use many lotions and shampoos (marketed for sensitive skin, lol) because they contain colloidal oats. There are even exam gloves on the market, meant to help nurses with dry skin, which I do understand is a problem, that contain colloidal oat powder (inside) and have a regular silicone outside. There is too high a risk for touch-transfer, though, and we frequently have to ask and remind practitioners to NOT use the oat-poisoned gloves.

ADDITIONALLY, there are something like 3 or 4 types of formula in existence for sustaining us tubies that don't contain at least one of the major allergens (usually dairy or soy). Of those few, at least one has CORN SYRUP as its primary ingredient. Ok, yeah, fortify the tubies and give them easily accessible carbs to keep them running. But, um, nutrition? Like, the absolute and awful, yet hilarious, truth that pirates (yes, of the caribbean) were healthier than individuals of European military forces traveling by sea, because the pirates ate a more balanced diet--fruit, bread, alcohol (aka sanitary hydration), and the redcoats died of things like scurvy because nobody thought to bring a lemon wedge to go with their hardtack and tea... People don't subsist on corn syrup. They can't exercise. They can't gain lung capacity, the ability to walk long distances, the critical thinking to problem solve and maintain self-care and do work. There is ONE type of tubie formula our family depends on (well, 2, because there's grown-up and pediatric) on the market that is allergen-free, pea protein based, contains natural minerals, and mixes with water and other dissolvable powdered supplements. We're immensely blessed to have it. We have to bring our own if anyone's in the hospital, since it's "rare." But OMG, the stuff has saved my life.

Forgive the ranting. I like to explain myself.A lot.

#starbucks sunday #ask game #ask meme #probably tmi

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