#and then every note arguing with the original post is like 'can we not have ONE SPACE without FUCKING minors... 😮‍💨'

[devilfruitdyke]

I HATE FANDOM WANK YALL ARE UNHINGED. VERY NEGATIVE BTW

#post (bad) was like 'adults need to take responsibility for what kids see online even publically posted fanwork' #it INCLUDED the sentence 'parents should monitor their kids internet more' and implied that people arbitrarily designated minors #dont have the impulse control to not look at content with warnings #all of this is not fucking true. children are people #and then every note arguing with the original post is like 'can we not have ONE SPACE without FUCKING minors... 😮‍💨' #'why is our responsibility to raise peoples kids for them' 'this implies that non kid friendly content shouldnt exist' #the last one is 100% true for the record but i think what yr getting at is that this random 'antishipper' on the internet #is responsible for like. sesta/fosta. no lmfao get real #and EVERY ONE OF THESE NOTES. is still fully accepting what the original post posits #that people arbitrarily designated minors are unable to resist barging into fan spaces #this is not true. kids are actually able to display the required self control in most cases #it doesnt come from a material condition of being a teenager. it sure as hell doesnt come from lack of brain development #people under 18 (age chosen by the government) are not easily impressed animals who just cant resist looking at triggering things #and then like. start whining about it because of their delicate constitution #the people you are talking about have every marker of 'adulthood' #theyre just a convenient pawn for yall to bitch at each other about shipping fictional characters #thats the only capacity that some people give a fuck about children in and it shows.

[owliellder]

The Finer Details

Post DI! Leon Kennedy x Painter fem! Reader

MDNI 18+

(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)

Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..

Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔

Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare

Author Note: I'm actually thinking I might be doing one chapter every other night, but I would also like to draw on my comically large art tablet at some point this week, so I might skip a day or two.

Cross posted onto AO3

Session 2: Color Matching

You partially regret just agreeing to "tomorrow", seeing as this man decided that he wanted to show up at 4am.

It was the original time set for yesterday's session, and you guess he felt bad for being late, but god damn he texted you an hour earlier telling you he'd be there by 4am. Dragging yourself out of the comfort of your bed was difficult, but in the end it was worth it to draw such a stunner.

You had to get there before Leon did, so there you were; half awake, dressed in a pair of fuzzy pants and a loose t-shirt, and a small cup of tea in your right hand while the other fumbled with the keys to your little work room.

That was the greatest part about your job as a professional painter. You didn't have a dress code.

Though most days you did try to look your best, some days it was just easier to be comfortable. Besides, it's not like tons of people come and see you everyday, it was usually just one person at a time.

It was 3:47am by the time you'd gotten to your workspace and settled, sitting on one of the many floor pillows in the living area you put together away from the actual painting setup. The tea was warm, it was keeping you sleepy, but you couldn't stop taking small sips. It was in your hands, there wasn't much you could do to stop yourself.

You told Leon to just come on in when he arrived, not wanting to walk all the way back down just to lead him back up. The stiffness from sleep was still in parts of your body, so you knew it would be difficult to get up, even when he did finally stride through that door. He dressed nicely today, just what you needed him to do.

Wanting to relish in the dim yet warm lighting of your various lamps for as long as possible, you beckoned the man to come over and sit with you, which confused him slightly. He thought you would be ready to get started once he showed up, but he wasn't one to argue so early in the morning. Instead, he shrugged and slowly sauntered over to you, taking a seat on a floor pillow across from yours.

"Good morning." Leon grumbled quietly, his voice barely hiding the fact that he wasn't quite awake either. That rumble in his chest made your stomach flutter. "Good morning to you, too." You responded, closing your eyes for a moment to take another sip of your tea.

"When uh-" He cleared his throat, putting a fist up to his mouth as he did so. "When are we gonna get started?"

You furrowed your eyebrows, moving the cup away from your lips to stare at him. "I wasn't expecting to be up so early, so just give me a few more minutes to wake up and then we can turn my main lights on."

Leon sucked on his teeth as he thought, turning his head to look over out one of the windows as he rested his wrists on his knees. "Oh, yeah, sorry. Just wanted to make up for being late yesterday."

You laughed softly before letting out a quiet sigh, setting your tea down on the low coffee table sitting behind you.

"Don't worry about it, but also don't make me get up so early again, old man." You attempted to joke, immediately noticing the wince on his face at the nickname. To divert, you stood up and stretched, patting his shoulder as you walked by him. "Alright, let me pull my stuff out and then we can get started."

Leon followed you with his head, taking a few seconds before standing up himself, pressing his hands onto his knees to help get up from the floor pillow.

"I'm just going to be color matching your tones today. I won't do all of it since obviously lighting changes throughout the day, buuuut..." You trailed off, beginning to rummage through a drawer in one of your desks before pulling out handfuls of paint tubes. "I just need to pull out the basic colors I'll be using."

It was still pretty dim in the room which caused you to have to squint to see the names of the colors on the tubes. Leon found that partially amusing, his chuckle causing you to glare playfully over at him. "Something funny?"

"As funny as it is to watch you go cross-eyed looking at those," he smiled, gesturing with his thumb to the light switches near the door. "I feel like it'd be easier to just turn the lights on."

"My retinas will be fried if those get turned on-" You were cut off by your own shout when Leon took the liberty of turning the lights on himself, laughing as you quickly moved to cover your eyes.

He only had to squint for a second before his eyes adjusted. You, however, were not expecting the sudden change, so you got an eyeful of bright white light. Complete and utter agony that lasted for a full five seconds.

By the time you moved your hands away from your eyes, they were watering and you had to squint for awhile longer. "Give me a warning next time you decide you want to try and murder me like that." You said, wiping away the few stray tears you'd produced from the light sensitivity. "You might live in the light, but I don't!"

The man shook his head and crossed his arms, smile still plastered to his face as he slowly made his way over to the chair in front of your easel. "That's payback for calling me an old man."

You twisted your head around to the chair so you could give him an indignant look, catching a glance as he was putting his hands up in defense with a small "what?" before you turned to look down at the tubes of paint sitting next to your hands on top of the desk.

"Nothing, just wasn't expecting to work with a toddler, that's all.." You mumbled, smile creeping onto your face as you heard him click his tongue from behind you. "I was an old man not five minutes ago and now I'm a toddler?" Leon asked, voice peaking dramatically.

"Yes, you have quite the range, Mr. Kennedy." You began sifting through the various paints you'd pulled out, humming softly as you contemplated what route you wanted to take with them. Stick to primaries? Add secondaries? Should I just use every color I need? Hmmm..

Leon watched as you stared at the paint tubes you'd picked up, tilting his head to the side slightly to try and get a better look. He snapped his head back upright when you started to speak again. "I'm trying to decide whether or not to use a lot of different colors, or just stick to a minimum.."

It was almost as if you knew what he was wondering. "Uhh... what's the difference...?" The man questioned, raising an eyebrow as you turned around, seemingly having made your decision already.

"Using just the main 6 colors-" You turned around and were faced with his very confused stare, causing you to explain a little better. "The main colors you see in a rainbow."

He breathed out a quiet "ahh" at that. Okay, good. He knows his basics. Cute...

"I can mix just red, blue, and yellow at varying degrees to get any color I need. Adding green, purple, and orange will help even more." You pursed your lips, lightly tossing the paint tubes in your hands before setting them down away from the other tubes. "I need white also. Damn.."

"What's wrong with white?" Leon asked, leaning forward a bit to watch you dig in the drawer for a tube of white oil paint.

"Nothin'. Just forgot, is all. Trying to keep this as authentic as possible..." You mumble, quickly closing the drawer with a slam after pulling out the paint you were looking for.

Silently nodding his head in acknowledgment, Leon turned his focus to his surroundings again, admiring your choice in decor once more. He bought a nice decorative pillow for his couch yesterday after being here the first time.

You grabbed a few strips of thick white paper, running your thumb along its textured surface before setting them down. You told him to stay where he was as you set up a small art palette, little dollops of the paints sitting neatly in the circular grooves.

"I'm gonna make color swatches of your skin for myself." You spoke up as you suddenly turned and walked towards him, holding the palette in your left hand while holding the strips of paper and a small yet flat paintbrush in the right. "Also, I'll need to get a picture of you in the position you want, but I'll do that after all of-" you waved everything you're currently holding in a small circle. "-this."

Leon simply responded with an "oh, okay", his knee beginning to bounce as you quickly began to mix little bits of your paint together to get a simple pale skin tone down before you even attempted to match his.

As you worked, you were starting to grow nervous with the silence, and clearly the man in front of you was as well, given he had started to sweat slightly on his forehead. He wasn't nearly as conversational as the last two agents you painted.

"So.. you've earned yourself a portrait..." You smiled slightly, holding up the strip of paper you'd brushed your mixed paint on to see what colors to mix in next. "What'd you do to earn one?"

Leon hummed. It was hard to think about every mission he's gone on, all the horrors he bore witness to, the people he saved, the people he couldn't save, how it all started, and now the fact that he's done-

"Hey, woah, I'm sorry." The sound of your voice drew him away from his thoughts. "I didn't know that would be a.. sore subject for you." He blinked at you a few times, furrowing his eyebrows soon after. "What?"

You pulled the strip of paper away from his face, pulling your lips tight with a shrug of your shoulders at his response. "You suddenly looked mad. Like... really really mad. I thought you were gonna snap at me or-"

"No. It's just bittersweet, is all." Leon cut you off, waving his hand dismissively at you before nodding once down to the paint palette in your hand. "You can keep going."

You stayed frozen in your crouched position for a few seconds longer before continuing to swatch your paint. You kept silent, not wanting to seem like you were antagonizing him.

"I used to be just a cop." The man suddenly said, causing you to look up from where you were mixing your paints together. "Only for a single day, but I was a cop. Simple as can be."

You nodded, beckoning him to continue with a small smile, which he did. "I'm sure you've heard about some of that already though, since you worked with Claire not too long ago."

His comment caused you to let out a small "ohh" in sudden recognition, nodding your head again. "Yeah, that's right! She mentioned you on that, okay.."

Leon continued to talk about all of his missions vaguely, still having to keep confidentiality in mind. You let him drone on, having gotten his skin tone matched in a few different areas now. You stopped to scribble on the papers with the paint swatches, making sure to label where each tone came from on his face and hands.

You took note of how he circled back to his single day as a cop and to certain missions. His mention of saving the president's daughter had you immediately smiling. That was a straight ticket to earning his own portrait in that hall of the White House, he could've done just that his entire life and he still would've been seeing you at some point.

You focused on mixing your paint for a little while before noticing he had grown quiet, looking up to see him staring out the window, a faint orange glow from the sun rising highlighting his features. And his tears.

Growing concerned once again, you set down the paintbrush on the palette so you could place a gentle hand on his shoulder. It seemed he didn't notice that, too lost in his head to notice anything at this point.

"Hey..." You asked with a soft voice, your eyebrows furrowing with worry. "We don't have to talk about it anymore, you know..."

Finally, Leon looked back at you, eyes widening once he realized how watery his eyes were. He turned his head away so you didn't watch him wipe the tears that had fallen down his cheeks and use his sleeve to dry his eyes. It wasn't like him to be so easily bothered by this stuff.

"I just need one more color swatch and then you can go, okay? We can save the photo for another day." You gave the man a weak smile, one he didn't reciprocate. You understood.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but you filled in for him. "Seriously, it's no trouble at all. If you need more time then you need more time." Standing up from your crouched position, you left your half-finished color match swatch with the finished ones before walking over to set everything down on the desk.

You didn't want to crowd the poor man. That was probably the last thing he needed. Despite having only painted for a select few, you've learned to just step away from these retired agents when things would go awry. It was akin to a war veteran suffering from PTSD; they did almost have the same experiences as far as you could tell.

"I'm sorry."

Leon finally managed to say to you, his hands anxiously rubbing up and down on the tops of his thighs. Must be a nervous tick.

You angled yourself so you could see him while your body still faced the desk, smiling at him while your hands worked to neatly stack the strips of paper before clipping them together with a paper clip.

"There's absolutely no reason for you to apologize." You kept your smile as you responded to Leon, looking back down at your hands to make sure everything was put together properly. "You forget I strictly work with agents like yourself. From all the vague tellings, I know that the job is tough on you guys; body and mind."

It was weird having someone outside of the agency talk to him about this kind of stuff. It was weird for him to be bringing it up in the first place. Or, at least he felt like it was.

"Still, I should know better than to do that." Leon sighed, rubbing his hand along the side of his face before stroking his chin, scratching at the stubble growing.

"Know better than to do what? Let yourself process everything you've been through?" You spoke in almost a whisper. If your tone was any louder, you fear you'd come off as accusatory.

"I get it. Really, I do." Leon groaned quietly at your words, causing you to click your tongue. You grabbed your swivel chair and scooted it over so you could sit in front of him, and when you did, you brought your legs up to sit criss-cross just like yesterday, only there wasn't a table separating the two of you. You looked solemn. He didn't like where this was going.

"The whole point of painting you a portrait is to honor you and your work as an agent, but it's not just about getting yourself painted." You leaned forward in your chair, elbows resting on your knees, all the while keeping your voice hushed and gentle. "Seeing the portrait once it's finished is going to be an incredibly emotional ordeal. It's a reminder that this is truly the end of an era for you, Mr. Kennedy..."

Your words were really starting to strike a chord for Leon. He hadn't given it much thought. He didn't want to give it any thought at all. All he thought was "I'm just going to get myself a nice fancy portrait and be done with it". He didn't even consider what the portrait of him would actually symbolize.

"Oh." Was all Leon could muster, letting his gaze fall into his lap where his hands now sat clasped together. If it weren't for the comfortable environment you had set up here, he probably would've bolted ages ago.

You let him think everything over for awhile, wanting to give him all the time in the world. Clearly he needed something, but he wasn't allowing himself any sort of leeway.

It took some courage building internally, but you decided to stand up, taking the one step closer to him before placing your hand on his shoulder once more. You squeezed it a bit, bringing his attention back to you as he lifted his head up.

You attempted to smile at him, moving your hand off his shoulder so you could hold your arms out slightly. This man needed a hug and you were more than willing to offer the leeway he wasn't granting himself.

Leon stood up rather quickly which surprised you, and startled you just a bit, before feeling his large arms tightly wrap around you. It was a little awkward since he had to bend a bit to hug you properly, but it worked out in his favor, and yours too, since he got a better opportunity to bury his face into the crook of your neck.

He sighed happily when he felt your arms slowly wrap around his chest, doing your best to squeeze him for that extra bit of comfort, even rubbing up and down on his back. It had been so long since he had a real hug. It felt good.

You let him hug you for as long as he needed, which was longer than expected, but definitely not unwelcome by any means. Though, his warm breath against your neck and the smell of his cologne was causing you to blush. That's really the last thing you needed him to see after being so vulnerable and open with you.

You felt him start to pull his head away, prompting you to pat his back gently as an end to the hug. Despite the fact that it was faint, it was clear to you that he was blushing when you were finally able to look up at him.

You wanted to remain calm for Leon, letting out your nervousness through a quiet cough. "I know we've only met up twice, but if you ever need a change in scenery, just know that my workspace here is always open to you. I'm always open to you, okay?"

Your words were making him feel weird. Something he hasn't felt in a long time was creeping up his chest. Your smell lingering on his coat wasn't helping, either.

"Yeah-.. yeah, okay." Leon huffed through his nose, reaching up to scratch at the stubble underneath his jawline as he averted his gaze to the floor.

The sun was fully up now, so you walked over to where the light switches were next to the door, flipping them off. All your other ambient lights could be turned off later. For now, you needed to focus on the man still standing in front of that maroon chair.

"You can stay if you feel you need to, but I just want you to relax." You said, looking over at him as you heard his footsteps slowly walk past you to the living space.

"I'll head out." Leon bent over and grabbed his motorcycle helmet from where he'd set it down on the rug near the floor pillows. He placed his on his head as he walked over to where you stood next to the door, not really wanting anyone to look at his tear-stricken and red face any longer.

Once he finished fiddling with his helmet, you reached out and took his hand in both of yours, patting the top of it softly. "Text me when you're ready to come back over."

You couldn't see Leon's face anymore since he'd put the visor down, but you could definitely see him nod his head. He opened the door and let himself out, touching the side of the doorframe as he rounded the sharp corner and walked down the stairs.

After closing the door behind him, you started walking around your workspace to turn off all the lamps and other ambient lighting, pausing to listen to the sound of his motorcycle start up and drive off.

#daily dose of dilf #he's not a dad in this #but that doesn't mean he's not a dilf #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy x reader #resident evil #leon s kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy smut #resident evil leon #leon kennedy fic #leon x reader #leon kennedy fanfic #leon s kennedy smut #leon s kennedy x fem!reader #leon kennedy x reader smut #leon kennedy x fem reader #resident evil death island

[muniimyg]

NAKED // KNJ

note to self: take baths alone from now on

+

in which nam joon takes any and every opportunity to see you naked

pairing: boyfriend nam joon + oc 

au/genre:

(new) established relationship

non-idol au

fluff, crack, and smut

warnings:

explicit langauge and behaviour ...

cockwarming & riding,, some titty grabbing & basic ass position changes

THEY SAY ILY FOR THE FIRST TIME :D

note: originally posted on @/meowachi ,, revised !!

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @prdshobi @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns

The water is colder than you expected. 

Your body reacts with goosebumps to which you let out a shiver. Maybe you took too much time getting everything ready that you missed this bath water’s prime temperature… Guess you didn’t girl-math this right. 

Oh well. 

There’s always next time, right?

Thankfully, his bare body holding yours makes it easier to adjust. He nuzzles his chin on your shoulder and wraps his arms around your waist, not missing the chance to hold your breasts for a moment. You scold him as if it’s second nature and he leaves a trail of kisses up and down your neck as an apology. 

Then, you take this moment in. Honestly, setting up music was a good idea. Along with the scented candles, the bubbles in your bath, the bath lavender bath bomb, and the bath salts—all such amazing details. Everything would’ve been perfect if only Nam Joon wasn’t complaining every five seconds. 

“I hate baths.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

“The bath salts went up my ass—”

Finally, you shush him.

“Please,” he cries, “can we fuck?”

Rolling your eyes, you raise your hand and flick him with your fingers. He purses his lips and shuts his eyes in response. Nam Joon sighs, feeling defeated for the nth time tonight. Prior to this bath, he had suggested shower sex. To which, you argued you’d be too afraid to try since you’re as clumsy as they come… And he himself… Well, it was nice of him to ask.

It’s not like you didn’t want to have sex tonight… No, of course, you do. Your handsome and beefy boyfriend was naked, holding you.. Who wouldn’t be turned on? You just feel like being annoying. You want to push him as far as you can. You want to see how good he stays. How well self-disciplined he is. 

So, you sink into his body again, taking another deep breath in. 

Let’s try this again.

Relax.

You want to relax. 

That’s all you want to do.

It doesn’t last. A few giggles escape your lips as he begins to place small kisses on your shoulder all the way to the sides of your face. 

“Nam Joon…” you attempt to sound annoyed.

In his low voice, he hums; “Yes, my love?”

“You’re not making me feel relaxed!” Suddenly, you squirm as he bites your shoulder playfully. “I want to—stop that! I just want to relax, Joonie! You said you wanted to join me. You insisted.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he murmurs, only half meaning his apology. No, he wasn’t sorry. He was a man, after all. What idiot would turn down being naked in a tub of water with you? Fucking losers, that’s who. 

He squishes your body closer to him. “So... is this what you do?” 

You nod.

“Is this all that you do? This is so boring. You don’t even have those ducks to play with or like a toy boat that moves—”

“Nam Joon,” you warn, groaning at how talkative he’s becoming. “You can leave. I wouldn’t mind watching you ass walk away right now.” 

He laughs in response, getting the hint. You want to relax. He wants to be with you. This was the middle ground.

“Sorry,” he means it this time. “I’m just bored.. Like, I pictured this to be more… Sexy? Aren’t you supposed to seduce me?” Nam Joon wiggles his eyebrows at you. To that, you offer him and confused look.

“Who knows? Maybe I’ve been seducing you this entire time..” you gaslight.

He lowers his gaze. “You’ve been ignoring me since the minute we settled in the tub.”

“Aren’t you turned on?”

“No.”

You smile at him warmly, yet your tone is cold. “My love, if that’s the case… Then why do I feel your dick poking in between my legs right now?” 

He gulps.

“It’s hard.”

“I thought you said it’s boring.”

Nam Joon whines, “___, my dick is hard. I’m bored. Please sit on it.”

You gasp. 

Although, you can’t say you aren’t surprised. You’ve been together for less than a year yet he has never missed a chance to suggest such acts. Most days, you’d give in and it would be a good time. But today… You figure it would be much more fun to be a tease. This mood is sponsored by your incoming period. Regardless if it’s PMS or all your stress from work; it didn’t really matter. You just knew you weren't in the mood for super wet, slippery, hot sex in cold bath water. Imagine all the water that would be splashed on the floor! You’d be the one left to clean all of it up. Nam Joon would probably slip and hurt himself if you ordered him to do the cleaning duties.

“Okay,” you tease. “I’ll sit on your dick.”

He cheers. 

“But I won’t move.”

“W-what?” Nam Joon blinks. 

You shrug, pushing yourself up on his lap. When you find his length, you quickly guide it inside of you. No warning, not even a little rub in between. Nam Joon gulps the second he feels his cock inside of you. Unlike the water, you’re so warm. He hisses, feeling his dick begin to throb inside your tight walls. 

“M-mean,” he hisses. “You’re so mean.”

Ignoring him, you sink yourself even deeper. Now, he’s fully inside you and you’re completely sitting on him. You feel his tip and how far he is inside you.. It makes your body feel tingles and you honestly contemplate if you should just give in.

He feels so good. 

… And you hate to admit it but you overestimated yourself.

You’re having a hard time too. 

Yet, you stick it through. You have to! Rare are the moments you get where Nam Joon loses complete control.

“You asked me to sit on your dick. Sure, I’ll sit on your dick… But I’m not moving. I’m not going reverse cowgirl style. I’m not going doggy. I’m not fucking you.”

“So you’re just going to cockwarm me?” he asks, feeling betrayed. “But you love riding me!”

You glare at him. “No, I don’t. It’s tiring. It’s boring.” 

Nam Joon’s eyebrows furrow together. He tries his best to focus on your words and not how perfect you are inside of him. He’s stressed as fuck but he needs to prove to you that he can get through this… He has a feeling that winning you over will get him the reward he’s been after. 

“Then why do you do it?” 

This is news to him too. You always looked like you enjoyed riding him. Honestly, you probably ride him more than you two do in any other position. Also, why would he question it? You never really complained until now. It’s one of the things he liked so much about you.. It’s like, you just knew him. 

“You love it and I love you—”

Your eyes widen.

Did you really just say that? All this time, you were worried about slipping… Who knew it wasn’t about your body but rather your words? 

You two haven’t said it to each other yet. God, this is so fucking embarrassing. In this position too? In a fucking cold ass bath? It should’ve been more romantic! Plus, he should’ve said it first! You had it all planned out.. You were going to get it out of him before you could say it first. 

As you open your mouth to deny, take back, or spit out an excuse, his words make your world stop. 

“I love you too.”

Your breath hitches. “W-what?”

“Yeah,” he scratches the back of his neck. “I’ve been meaning to tell you.. For the past like… Six months but I couldn’t find the right moment. I figured one day, you’d just get it out of me yourself.” Nam Joon looks awfully shy to you right now. It makes your heart flutter. 

“I thought the same,” you confess. “I wanted you to say it first.”

“Okay,” Nam Joon chuckles, “Then I said it first.”

Your heart begins to pound louder and faster. God, was he always this good with words? In all honesty, Nam Joon has no problem being the first to yield or confess.. He just needed time. Right now, he knew it well. You’re the right person at the right time. He’s so grateful.

“I wanted it to be more romantic.”

Instantly, he dips his head and kisses you slowly. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours. “A slow kiss. Romantic, right? Better?”

You shake your head. 

“You have to hold my hand when you say it,” you whine. “It only makes sense that way.”

“Then, you have to look at me,” he negotiates. “You can’t be looking the other way when I say it.”

“Fine.”

You shift, pulling his dick out for a second. You adjust yourself, opening your legs and facing him. Now, your breasts were completely in front of him. He takes slow deep breaths as you put him inside you again. You wrap your arms around his neck and tilt your head. 

God, you’re so sexy.

With or without clothes, Nam Joon thinks you’re the sexiest human to ever exist. It wasn’t because your body was perfect; it was all because of the way you carried your confidence. It was that exact something he sensed and fell into an intense trance over. Moments like these play over and over in his head when he’s away from you. Moments where he feels so close to you. Physically, this was it. There is nothing more he could ask for. 

You: naked and on top of him. 

But more than that, what makes moments like these so special is the fact that he feels like he knows your soul. Bare, imperfect and so loving. It was sexy to have someone like you. It was something he had never experienced before with past loves. This was a first for him. A first real, sexy, and beautiful love. It was more than your body—it always has been. Regardless, who is he to not try? At the end of the day, he has needs. 

“Say it.” 

He laughs as he intertwines your fingers together. He raises them above the water to show you. Bringing your hands to his lips, he looks up at you and kisses your knuckles. 

“I love you, ___.”

You pout. 

He kisses your wrist and then pulls you closer to him. He kisses your breast, your collarbone, your shoulder, your cheeks, and the corner of your lip. “I’ve loved you for a while now. I’m sorry it took a cold bath to get it out of me.”

“Should’ve taken a bath together sooner.”

He laughs into your kiss. “Too bad the bath salts aren’t making me feel too sexy right now,” he confesses his uncomfortability. This is his last attempt. “Unless…”

“Spit it out,” you say, unamused.

“It’s just—”

“We’re not fucking in this bath of cold water, Joon. Give it up!” you laugh as you cup his cheeks together. You squish his lips with your thumb and index, making kissy faces at him. “No more fucking around.”

His suggestive eyes suddenly soften. “Fucking? ___, I wanted to make love… Since, you know.. I love you.”

Three times.

He said, “I love you,” three times now.

And perhaps, you’re not built for this hard-to-get lifestyle when the love of your life says such dreamy things. Of course, you’d give in. As they all say; the third time’s a charm. 

You burst into laughter, unable to hold yourself back. Desperately, you kiss him for what feels like forever, and as much as you resist; you end up riding him. 

The second you move yourself up and down, Nam Joon’s eyes widen and he smiles into the kiss. He can’t believe he won you over. 

“Fucking finally… Or should I say… Finally fucking?” Nam Joon chides, liking his word play more than he should.

Nerd alert.

You grunt, “s-shut up.” 

As you two continue to make out, you begin to move your hips as you slowly but surely begin to bounce on his hard cock. It feels so good to finally do this. As you move at a faster pace, the water begins to splash and for a second, you turn your head to make sure it isn’t going to flood the floor. But Nam Joon places his hand on your chin and the top of your neck, guiding you to look at him. 

“Don’t look away,” he hisses. “It’s just water. Focus on me.”

You nod, biting the inside of your cheeks. 

For stability, you place your hands on his chest. You feel his heart and how fast it’s racing. His skin has little goosebumps due to the cold water, but you can also see sweat from his forehead lightly layer on top of his perfect skin. His eyebrows are knitted together, as he gathers all his mental strength not to cum yet. At one point, you see his lips make an ‘o’. Why was he trying so hard to last? 

“Just cum,” you assure him. “It’s fine.”

He shakes his head, refusing to give in this early. “It’s your fucking boobs,” Nam Joon blames. “Mmhff—s-shit. What the hell. Fuck it.” 

Without warning, he places his hands on your waist and lifts you up. Nam Joon gently, yet firmly, turns you over. Your chin rests just over the rim of the tub, along with your arms. Your back is arched as he backs your ass up to his dick. He takes his fingers and plays with your clit for a bit. You moan, unable to fathom just how fucking sexy this all is. You feel yourself coming close. Before you know it, he sticks himself back in and begins to pump. Nam Joon pumps himself at a steady pace. At first, they were short and fast strokes that made the water spill over and you moan louder than usual. As you reach your peak and so does he; his strokes transition to long and deep ones. 

After a few more pumps, he lets himself go and cups your breasts with his hands. You don’t feel his cum inside of you as your walls still tingle, but you know it’s inside. Regardless of the water, you just know he creamed you messy as usual. 

As you two catch your breath, he kisses your neck once again. 

“For round two…” Nam Joon teases, “I’m thinking shower sex. Thoughts?”

“Haha,” you play along. “No.”

Nam Joon pouts, giving you puppy eyes. “... But I love you.” 

You can’t help but melt.

Oh, you’re so fucked.

You know for a fact he’ll be using this line for a while… And it’ll work. He’ll get you every time. But it’s okay! You love him too. You want him too. You need him too.

Besides, you’ll be charging him the water bill.

#knj fic #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts imagine #bts one shot #bts boyfriend au #nam joon boyfriend #bts rm #bts rm smut #namjoon smut #namjoon x oc #namjoon fic #namjoon scenario #bts scenario #bts fluff #namjoon fluff

[middle-earth-mythopoeia]

I just read a post in the LOTR tag titled “You don’t hate Amazon you hate the Silmarillion,” and then it went on to say this:

Here’s my point though, almost every (valid) critique I see of this show [Rings of Power] isn’t a problem with decisions the creative team made, it’s an inherent problem in any adaptation of the Silmarillion (and associated works but I’m just going to refer to the Silmarillion for brevity’s sake). The Silmarillion, as full and detailed as it is, is a shit story.

First things first. If you say things like this, it’s you who hates the Silmarillion. That last sentence tells me everything I need to know. Frankly, that one line invalidates every other thing this person says, but I’m going to explain why they’re wrong anyway. I’m making my own post about it because I don’t want to give the original post more notes.

Other than calling the Silmarillion shit, the main point of the post seems to be that the Silmarillion is unadaptable, therefore it should be understood that the creative team behind ROP had to use some leeway in translating the story to screen. The post finishes by saying:

Basically my point is that before you go and say “well this is weird or I didn’t like this choice” think about what the creative team had to create to make an interesting show out of a story not designed to be told. Sometimes they didn’t make the perfect decision, but if you were tasked with adapting something unadaptable do you think you would do it perfectly?

It’s true that adapting the stories of the Silmarillion is a difficult task, especially when it comes to the Second Age, which is probably the least detailed part of the histories. It’s true that many characters and events are sketched out and that many details (not to mention dialogue) would need to be invented for any screen adaptation to work. It’s also true that no adaptation can satisfy everyone. But this in no way excuses the sloppy way in which ROP adapted the source material.

If the ROP creative team wanted to write a story that was solely focused on their original characters but set in Middle-earth during the Second Age, they could have done that. But when they brought in characters like Galadriel and Isildur and Sauron and totally changed the plot, that’s where they messed up—not to mention compressing the timeline.

I personally do not believe the Silmarillion is unadaptable. If you believe it is unadaptable, that’s fine, we can agree to disagree. But it’s very odd to argue that any bad decision the ROP creative team made is the fault of the source material.

No. It’s their fault for being bad writers. And for biting off more than they can chew. And for having the hubris to say they want to write “the novel Tolkien never wrote.”

if you were tasked with adapting something unadaptable do you think you would do it perfectly?

To tell you the truth, I think I’d do a hell of a lot better than ROP. And I would start by actually understanding the source material, which the ROP creative team did not do. But if I ultimately decided that the story of the Second Age was unfilmable... then I would simply not film it.

As a final point, I think you will find that people who love the Silmarillion do not consider it a “shit story.”

#seriously what the fuck #anti rings of power #my writing

[narcoticwriter]

Primogems & How They Predicted the Most Devastating Plot Twist of the Game

This item may be the bane of every F2P player's existence and the whale's minor inconvenience to acquire, but I believe that in terms of lore and what the future of the story holds, it can possibly be one of the most blatant warning flags in the game.

Before I go into this specifically, I would like to show you where this post is coming from in earnest.

The one on the left was the beta version of the primogem icon and I have the current one adjacent to it as a comparison.

This? This right here? This is just a slap to the face, a true insult, dare I say a gauntlet thrown on the ground in front of me.

You don't know me if you think I'm going to take that shit, so of course, I'm picking it up and I'll have my pistols. Tell me where and when because I'll be there with receipts.

Not only will I argue that the beta design was quite pointed and intentional with how often this specific shape shows up with characters, lore, and the game at large, I will blatantly declare that it is the key to figuring out where this story is going to end.

If you've been here before, you know what to expect from this, and if you're new? Strap in with some snacks and a healthy appetite for questioning the lore because on this blog, we go ham or we go home.

What is a Primogem Anyway?

According to the wiki, the description of a primogem is as such:

"A primordial crystalline gem that's beyond the mundane world. Shines with the condensed hopes and dreams of universes that once were."

The information here is already intriguing in the sense that the words 'hopes' and 'dreams' are used in relation to their appearance as well as the word 'primordial', which roughly means 'from the beginning of time'.

So with that, we have to ask ourselves one question: how do you even get something like that in the first place?

How Do You Acquire Primogems?

Before I go into this, the ways that I am providing are (in my opinion) the only canonical ways that make sense to acquire primogems at all as they have lore, in-game quotes, and things that point to what I believe will tie into primogems either through other topics or their uses.

Genesis Crystals

To start off, the description of a Genesis Crystal is as follows:

"An energy crystal from the very origin of the universe. Formed from within nothingness out of pure potential and hope, it contains enough energy to create a newborn star."

If one looks at the definition of a primogem, one can see that this Genesis Crystal is used to make primogems. This is evident by the in-game application of the '1:1 Ratio' conversion of Genesis Crystals to Primogems.

It should also be of note that the distinct shape of the crystal is defined as the 'triquetra'. This symbol has a relation to infinity and interconnectedness, which is interesting as the crystal is used as a source to create a condensed byproduct in primogems, something decidedly 'star shaped'. So with that, you also have to ask how one could acquire such a thing in the first place.

The Blessing of the Welkin Moon - New Moon

Please note that this is not in reference to the product that you can buy in the game, but instead, the new moon variant that one can get in web events. This, however, doesn't mean that the lore is not inclusive of the said products either.

I have an ask that went into some more detail about this in a more speculative nature, but for the sake of this, I will put the description of this object below:

"A ritual prayer, recited on the rising of the first new moon, to ask for the moon's blessing in the form of wealth and good fortune. For your purposes, the new moon you shall pray to is the first-ever new moon in Teyvat, since it's the first one you've seen here."

So, with this, we can assume that:

There is a 'prayer' one must make to acquire both primogems and Genesis Crystals

The moon plays a significant role in this process as the said object only last 30 days (roughly the same length as the moon cycle)

Something else of note that I would like to point out is that the new moon is when the cycle starts specifically. Over these 30 days, one can acquire a total of 2,700 primogems and 300 Genesis Crystals, the same as the standard Blessing of the Welkin Moon you can buy.

This image of The Welkin Moon shows a few symbols that we've already seen, such as the primogems themselves as well as the triquetra, so we can firmly establish that this is indeed a valid way of getting these things. But in relation to the moon cycles and lore that incorporates that as well, one must stumble into places you wouldn't typically expect to find those or primogems at all.

Spiral Abyss - Moment of Syzygy

Primogems? In my Sprial Abyss? It's more likely than you think.

The Spiral Abyss is split into two distinct sections, the Abyss Corridor (Floors 1-8) and the Abyss Spire (Floors 9-12) and as such, I'm only going to go over The Abyss Spire in-depth as they replenish their primogems every cycle (15 days).

A physical description of the Spiral Abyss states plainly:

"A grand underground corridor which leads to an unknown spiral constructed by a great empire that has long gone. What treasures await deep in the palace, and what monsters lurk in the shadow..."

"Surrounded by mysteries, the inverse tower is now known as- Spiral Abyss."

With this description, I believe that this 'great empire' is not Khaenri'ah, but something affiliated with the 'Lunar Palace', something that existed and fell into ruination long before the game is set.

With this context in mind, one can see why the snippet called 'Moment of Syzygy' would say:

"The cycles of the moon elucidate the turning points of fate, and as the gears turn at the beginning and middle of the month, the treasures hidden at the end of the spire shows itself."

From Moment of Syzygy, one acquires 600 primogems per cycle of the Abyss, so given the presence of 'treasure' and the heavy emphasis on the moon, one can assume that you would absolutely find primogems even in such a place and if you don't think so, there is proof.

For example, the word 'syzygy' is defined as 'a conjunction or opposition, especially of the moon with the sun'. This is another term for an eclipse, a phenomenon that also includes three celestial bodies (the moon, the sun, and the earth).

Another example of this is something called 'Blessing of the Abyssal Moon'. These come in distinct phases (every 15 days) and are labeled as the 'Waxing Phase' and 'Waning Phase' respectively, granting boons to any characters fighting in the Spiral Abyss, this imagery is further emphasized by the accompanying images of the Corridor and the Spire respectively:

Further on, this Abyssal Moon seems to be a variant of the 'Blessing of the Welkin Moon' as the word 'welkin' means 'the sky or heaven'. So now we have the Heavenly Moon and the Abyssal Moon, two direct opposites in terms of definition and distinct as to what is granted as a blessing.

So yes, you could acquire primogems here with some difficulty. There is, however, another way to do so, though this one might be the most interesting one of all.

Batte Pass - Gnostic Chorus

Please note that I am only referencing the 'Gnostic Chorus' in the teaser trailer and not the purchasable one in the game, although like I've said before, the content in each can be inclusive to each other.

I had some back and forth in my mind concerning the addition of the Gnostic Chorus in this classification, but after looking at the provided dialogue from Venti, I believe it has its place as where one could acquire primogems. The said dialogue is as such below:

"Once, there was a glorious kingdom established among the heavens. From that kingdom came a crowned heir, tasked with seeking out the Genesis Pearl from the Kingdom of Darkness."

"The first crowned heir began her journey of seeking the pearl. But she was deceived, and the memory of her noble origins faded. She now believed that she was the queen of the Kingdom of Darkness." 

"But take heart, a second crowned heir had already taken up the path where the first had stumbled. This is the story of your journey, of your tale to be told."

Immediately, one can clock the term 'Genesis Pearl' and can relate that to 'Genesis Crystal', which we have already defined as something essential to how one can acquire primogems as well as going into what it is in its core.

There is also the imagery of the star-like things on top of the city in the heavens and this mountain specifically, which also lends credence to the presence of stars.

This 'Kingdom of Darkness', however, is up for some debate, as it could be Khaneri'ah, the Spiral Abyss, the Abyss itself, Teyvat itself, or something that we haven't come across yet, so I don't have anything conclusive to say about this particular matter.

From the Gnostic Chorus, you can get 680 primogems per pass acquired. As to why I chose to include this boils down to the fact that the story being told in the dialogue is the Traveler's. The story at large can easily be applied to the Traveler as the way the canonical story goes is that Aether is the one to pick up the task. While there are many theorists that think this isn't the case, for the purposes of this and how this will relate later, I will stick with this view.

Why Does All of This Matter?

To summarize what we've gone over, you can get primogems from

Genesis Crystals

The Blessing of the Welkin Moon (New Moon)

Spiral Abyss (Moment of Syzygy)

Battle Pass (Gnostic Chorus)

And the reasons why you can get them from there specifically is because:

A tie to the essences present at the beginning of the universe and frequently emphasized to be from beyond Teyvat

The frequent allusions to the moon and its cycles

The presence of hopes and dreams as material as opposed to abstract ideas

Symbols and lore that coincide with the topics already established

So in this sense, Primogems are not to be understated in any way as they can all be canonically acquired from this.

However, one thing that I haven't gone over until now is what one can do with Primogems after they've got them.

What to do With Primogems?

A primogem's uses are described and laid as such:

Replenish Resin

Unlock levels of the Battle Pass

Acquire Fates (Wishes)

While at first, this may seem like a system in which the game itself operates, the lore that I've also provided points to more of what to expect in the future as well as how the main character (Traveler) interacts with Teyvat at large as there are certain objects only primogems can make:

Original Resin

Acquiant Fates

Intertwined Fates

All of these things have importance to the lore due to how they influence the world around them and how they are used, the original resin being one that brings many things into question.

Original Resin

The uses of original resin are for ley line outcrops, domains, normal bosses, and weekly bosses. However, I will only really be focusing on ley line outcroppings as they are related to the ley lines themselves.

The description provided for original resin is as stated:

"It is said that the roots of all the Irminsul trees and blossoms in the world are intertwined at the deepest, most hidden place in the earth, and that the pattern the root system makes defines the Ley Lines of the world."

It is also necessary to define Ley Lines and the respective outcroppings (also called Blossoms), which are:

"A mysterious network that links the whole world together, within which flow the elements..."

"A flower blossom known as "Revelation" which grows from the Ley Lines in response to someone's desire for battle. Perhaps the treasures within it can help one recall the perils that they have experienced once before..."

"A flower blossom known as "Wealth" which grows from the Ley Lines in response to someone's desires. Perhaps the treasures within it can satisfy a person's monetary desires, for now..."

So to clarify, the original resin would naturally be a part of these as well as the outcroppings and as such, I do find it quite interesting that a certain number of primogems can replenish the Traveler's supply of it at any time it's acquired. This is important because the implication suggests that in theory, the Traveler can do this whenever they'd like.

This original resin can also be used to make something called condensed resin, which is described as:

"Crystal filled with immense energy. The silver-white Irminsul trees and blossoms are connected to ley lines that have become blocked over time. The energy contained in tree resin can purify the obstructing substance."

This implies that with enough of this resin, one could purify (enhance the bounty from the ley line blossom) any unnatural thing that could be obstructing the ley lines, something that primogems could expedite quite speedily in decent amounts. This, however, is nothing compared to what comes next.

Fates

There are no words that can describe how absolutely broken this is in terms of lore and implication, but I can give it a shot.

In short, wishes are the gacha system in the game, but as I've broken down the lore for every item in the game that I have here, it's only natural that acquaint fates and intertwined fates will have some lore of their own as well.

So to start off, the acquaint fates are used on the permanent standard banner. There's a brief description provided here:

"A seed that lights up the night. No matter the distance apart, guided by the stone's glimmer, the fated will meet under the stars."

This likely indicates that this certain type of fate is meant for the standard characters on the banner which will come regardless of the time that passes.

However, one must also take into consideration that the design of the acquaint fate was different from the CBT yet again.

As a result of this, I can no longer believe that the triquetra design is simply a coincidence. Primogems are naturally going to be used to make acquaint fates in this instance as the Genesis Crystals have this motif of infinite interconnectedness and primogems are a part of that cycle.

The intertwined fate lends credence to this statement as its description state:

"A fateful stone that connects dreams. Its glimmers can entwine fates and connect dreams, just as how its glimmer links stars into the shapes of a heart's desires."

This is painful to me. As if it could not be more obvious than this. We get it. Crystals = Primogems as Triquetra = Infinity. I suppose it had to be changed for that reason, then.

So this description is obviously calling people out every time they pull for the character they want, but a fateful stone that connects dreams? At this point, I'm being handed the motifs and themes within the story without even having to work that hard for them.

As I've stated before, dreams are described within the crystals and the primogems and as such, they are going to have to do with the intertwined fates. However, I will also make the point that this is the first time that it has blatantly said anything about the stars. As the primogem is meant to resemble that shape a bit, the connection is also there.

It is also interesting that the act of using these is typically described as wishes, so in the sense that primogems are described as condensed hopes and dreams, that isn't as far from the truth as one would think.

Byproducts

Speaking of stars, the byproducts of using these fates manifest in objects called masterless starglitter and masterless stardust. These are the remnants of fates and are described as such within the wiki except a point of note would be that they are referred to as a 'surplus of destiny'. This likely refers to the characters and objects acquired.

The descriptions are also more akin to off-hand comments such as 'perhaps it can create new destinies when in large enough quantities' or 'perhaps it can light up other corners of the universe.'

It should be noted that these objects can be used to buy more fates, but it takes a somewhat substantial amount to do so. Depending on which characters are acquired, you can get a decent amount of these, which can be used to buy things from 'Paimon's Bargains', which segues almost perfectly into this final section.

The Bottom Line (+ My Theory)

After taking into consideration everything I have gone over in the eight hours I have hyperfixated on this theory of mine, I have one conclusion and one conclusion only. This starts with a question. A small one, a seemingly innocent one. One that you wouldn't usually pay attention to but with all of this? You have to now.

Why is Paimon, of all people, able to convert starglitter and stardust into fates?

Well, I believe it is because of what has been established over and over again in the entirety of this post. Take a moment to look at her for a second or two.

What do you see? Is it familiar? With all that you know now, does it strike a chord within you?

It should, as Paimon is the only character in the game to have both the four-pointed star and the triquetra on their person and character design, and if the 'genesis crystal=primogem' ratio is to be made manifest within the speculation, this means that this little person may be unaware that they are a segment of the universe itself.

People have been saying that Paimon is the Unknown God. People have been saying that Paimon is the final boss of the game. People have been saying that Paimon will betray the Traveler in the end.

Well, I believe that every single one of them is wrong.

Ladies and gentlemen of the viewing party, I submit to you that Paimon is none of those things at all. I submit to you that such petty labels and titles mean absolutely nothing to her in the grand scheme of things. I submit to you that she is simply above them all.

We can discuss Teyvat, Celestia, the Abyss all we want but if this information brought forward is right and primogems really are the established way in which it can manipulate the world for our dearest Traveler and his flying companion? Then who are we to stand against it?

I, Narky, submit to you, the reader, that Paimon is, without a shadow of a doubt, the First Descender.

Do I think that I'm reaching a little bit? Maybe. But does the evidence lie? No, I don't think it does.

To clarify further, no I do not think that the Unknown God and the First Descender are the same people nor do I think that they are on the best of terms. So with that in mind, the theory will make a bit more sense.

Final Notes + Commentary

I've been scouring the internet and the wiki for over eight hours now, so I think I'll end this here.

So . . . what do you think? Will this entire theory be retconned in a future update? Will people much more observant than I pick it to pieces? Am I simply off my rocker and not medicated enough? Pick your poison! As I've said before, we go ham or we go home and I'm sitting in my house.

I would like to thank the Genshin Impact Wiki for having all of this stuff available to scrutinize and read to enable me to do this. All images and quotes I use are from there. I would also like to thank @scalpel-mom-mori for sending me an ask about Khaenri'ahn lore, as this is what got me started on this.

Leave your thoughts, questions, and commentary if you'd like. I'll get to them when I get to them.

Thanks for taking the time to read all of this and maybehaps you took something from it that you can utilize somehow.

Until next time, I see you when I see you.

#narky thinks #going ham #genshin impact #genshin analysis #genshin lore #genshin theory #genshin worldbuilding #AKA: i saw ONE thing and suddenly i'm in the wiki trenches fighting for my life

[reactionimagesdaily]

REACTION IMAGES BLOG PATCH NOTES (aka the 10k follower celebrations got out of hand)

Hey everyone!

So it's been a hot minute since I announced that we passed 10,000 followers on here! I'm sure... well, I'm actually sure that most people won't be TOO fussed either way, but I did say I was gonna do some stuff, and I wanna stick to my word if nothing else xD

So! Let the celebrations begin! Firstly, I'm announcing a new QnA (I love those things) that'll last,,,, I'll say 2 weeks and go from there. Feel free to ask me about whatever you want!! If you want to cater to me specifically, my current big interests are Baldur's Gate 3, Cyberpunk 2077, Mass Effect, and uuuuh Halo. (Also Bionicle remains a constant.) (Lots of scifi videogame stuff at the moment...)

[IK there's still some stuff in the inbox I need to answer/respond to you - I promise I'll get to those as well <3 thank you so much for your patience, if you've been waiting]

Secondly, here's a new song cover! IDK how many of you have played the game Divinity: Original Sin 2, but here's me singing Lohse's song; Sing For Me.

Thirdly: here's a new gimmick blog! I Was Not Joking. (Though, for my sanity, it's gonna be weekly instead of daily.) I'll be posting the images I have saved in my folder called 'feral screenshots' - it'll basically be a collection of cursed images/images with strange auras. I wanna say y'all know the ones, but if you don't, then here's an example of what we're dealing with:

[Image ID: a person floating in a rubber ring in a swimming pool. On their head is what looks like a life-size Lego head.]

Introduciiiiing the Weekly Weird Images blog!

And Fourthly! It is my great pleasure to announce that we're adding alt text to all the images on this blog! Sorry it took so long to get round to T_T

And yes - I do mean we! To write out all the alt text for these images, I've on-boarded minion-in-chief/court jester aplomb @tizzytinkertilly! I (the reaction images guy) will still be handling every other part of the blog - she'll just be doing that bit. For the sake of my sanity xD

This is kind of a big change - both the addition of alt text, and the fact that this blog is no longer a single-person operation - so for the foreseeable future, the queue's been tweaked so that we only post 2 images a day instead of 4. (Fun fact! 2 images a day was the original MO of this blog, and then covid happened and I was like "I'll make it 4 a day because it'll be a nice thing to do for everyone while they're miserable in this pandemic :)" and then I never stopped (although you could argue that the pandemic never stopped either).) Maybe if/when we fall into a good routine and feel like we can do more, we can bump the rate of images back up, but right now this is a teething phase and I'm keen to slow things down for a little bit. :P (Tumblr has made some WEIRD mechanical choices for group blogs, I'll be honest.)

And, uh, yeah, that's all! Let the QnA begin- Hope y'all enjoy the song cover- Hope y'all enjoy the additional blog- A big welcome to Tinks and to alt text! Happy 10k followers, everybody!

#bwaaaaaah I can finally post this #It's taken way longer than it probably should have to get all of this together #Personally I blame executive dysfunction #but HOORAAY we're here now #not a pic #10k extravabonganza

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Is it just me or has the card illustrations (specifically the groovy) been kinda bad lately? Like don't get me wrong most of the pre groovy are absolute bangers, but the groovies? Not so much. But lately there has been an obvious decrease in quality with anatomy, and even 😐 a whitewashing problem.

Take Lilia's dorm groovy for example— the piece is gorgeous, but whenever I zoom into his face the way they draw his face looks so off.

As for the whitewashing issue, I've noticed that Leona's beastly garb groovy had him very ashy looking (but some may argue that it's just the lighting casted on him)

Right now though the one that's been bothering me the most is the obvious whitwashing on Kalim's tsum groovy. We really can't argue that it's a lighting issue there, cause Jamil's firework card had a similar setting and he didn't look that light.

Personally, I think TWST’s Groovy illustrations have always been hit or miss since the beginning. I have similar issues with the faces in Lilia and Leona’s Dorm Uniform Groovies, and the anatomy seemed slightly off in a few others. I can’t find the original post anymore (I think OP didn’t tag it??), but I clearly recall an artist having spoken about how the pose in Epel’s initial Dorm Uniform art looked weird; they included drawings of how Epel’s spine and limbs looked vs how they should look to illustrate what they meant. Those are just a few examples of then and now though, and we have to keep in mind that if we include ALL available cards then the funky faces and weird posing/proportions only make up a very small percentage of what’s out there.

The more important issue at the moment is the coloring choices that were made for a few recent SSR event Groovies: Beastly Garb Leona and Tsumsted Kalim. They are pictured below with a few other card illustrations I pulled that have similar lighting (or as similar as I could find). You’ll notice (especially for Tsumsted Kalim’s Groovy) that the characters’ skin colors are much lighter than they should be.

Now I’ll be honest here 💦 I actually can’t tell (even when eyedropping the colors to compare; I don't even know if eyedropping is an accurate way to compare colors since the lighting and environment in every illustration is never EXACTLY the same) if Leona’s Beastly Garb Groovy is just the strong sunlight or if it has been whitewashed. I don’t have enough knowledge and/or experience with color theory and in real life to know for certain. However, as the Anon has said, that same argument cannot be made for the Scarabia duo. It’s particularly bad for Tsumsted Kalim because Yasmina Silk Jamil also had fireworks in the background, and his skin color is fine there. Sometimes artists purposefully use an altered color palate to achieve a different feeling in their pieces (for example, pastel colors for a soft, soothing look). I don’t think that was the case for Tsumsted Kalim because everything else in the Groovy art looks pretty true to color for the lighting (but again, I'm not an expert in coloring so I could be wrong). When taken in conjunction with Leona’s Beastly Garb… it could indicate a troubling pattern.

There’s been a lot of speculation going around for why this has happened, chief among that speculation being the TWST team has likely hired new staff and/or colorists (and Japan, being Japan, is pretty homogenous; it may be difficult to find artists with an understanding of how to color and shade darker skin tones). Again, these are just guesses circulating in the fandom. Nothing is confirmed, and nor does this excuse what has happened.

This has, very understandably, caused a lot of hurt and upset in the TWST fandom and community. So now the question is…

What can we do about it?

You can communicate your feelings to the TWST team! They have a form to collect thoughts and opinions from the playerbase, which can be accessed here.

PLEASE NOTE:

Be polite and professional. Nothing good comes out of anger, especially if the anger is directed at others; if you are rude and/or curse at the staff, they will be much less likely to hear you out.

Communicate in Japanese. The staff you are sending your complaint to are Japanese, and the game itself is Japanese (Beastly Garb Leona and Tsumsted Kalim are not yet out in the EN server, which is staffed by totally different people).

If you don’t know how to write in Japanese, this Twitter user has created polite templates to communicate our concerns with the whitewashing. (Their whole thread is great; please reference it if you need additional assistance!!) I would not recommend adding extra text, especially if you would be relying on a translation program to do so. Speaking in broken Japanese can be perceived as rude and will only detract from your message.

A similar situation to this occurred during the initial run of Fairy Gala; TWST had used “exotic” in its text, and after receiving an influx of feedback from the players, the devs went in and changed the dialogue to no longer use the term. It’s possible to make the change we want to see a reality if we respectfully make our thoughts known.

#twst #twisted wonderland #Leona Kingscholar #Jamil Viper #Scarabia #disney twisted wonderland #Lilia Vanrouge #Kalim Al-Asim #notes from the writing raven #advice #tw // whitewashing

[sophieinwonderland]

Stop Posting Hate and Disinformation in Endogenic Tags!

Does it? Are you sure? Because that's a really bold way to start off a post in a community with a lot of people who have PTSD!

But even bolder is this claim:

I would ask for the source for this, but I already know it.

Now, to be fair, there is a lot of wiggle room where some can argue semantics of what an "alter" is.

Luckily, today we aren't arguing semantics, as they made it clear in a comment that they don't believe endogenic systems are experiencing any sort of plurality! Yay!

Now, back to their claims... it's true that most evidence of any forms of consciousness in psychology is based on believing people's personal experiences.

Psychology is distinct from neuroscience in this way. Hopefully, we can get neurological evidence too. Stanford University was conducting an fMRI study into tulpamancers. But that study isn't complete yet.

But it is worth noting that practically every researcher who has looked into endogenic and non-disordered plurality do believe it's a real phenomena.

As mentioned above, Stanford University has invested anywhere from tens of thousands of dollars to hundreds of thousands of dollars into a neurological study of tulpamancers.

The ICD-11 by the World Health Organization states that you can have multiple "distinct personality states" without a disorder.

The creators of the theory of structural dissociation have said that hypnosis and spiritual mediumship may create "self-conscious dissociated parts of the personality."

Transgender Mental Health by Eric Yarbrough has an entire chapter discussing plurality, including acknowledging non-disordered and endogenic plurality. Eric Yarbrough is a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, and this book was published by APA Publishing.

And these are but a few.

Psychiatrists and psychologists overwhelming support the existence of endogenic plurality.

Is there any reason for the human brain to just randomly decide to be a singlet?

Why do the 80-billion neurons in the human brain just decide to be one person? Why is a singlet treated as inherently the default for humanity?

Total side tangent, but not all alters fit neatly into the ANP/EP dichotomy. The thing that defines an ANP is not simply being dissociated from the trauma, but trying to continue on with normal life and avoid it. Hence, being "apparently normal."

Many alters though, just don't fit into that as described. I would argue that a non-traumagenic alter who never fronts isn't really an ANP according to the Theory of Structural Dissociation.

Yup. That's why I'm responding to this. Your post is nothing but misinformation.

Most words have etymology in other cultures. Hurricane, for example, comes from an indigenous religion that referred to storm gods. This is a natural process as cultures interact.

For the record, "tulpamancy" IS created headmates. The term "tulpamancy" is purely Western, with the -mancy suffix originating in Latin. And whether you like it or not, the ongoing studies into tulpamancy will be into this Western practice, not the Tibetan sprul pa from which it draws its etymology.

Maybe you should take your own advice.

Although if you have a single credible source proving that endogenic plurality can't exist, you're welcome to show me.

You: "Stay out of DID/OSDD spaces" Also You: *Tags post as "#endogenic" and "#endogenic systems"*

Anyway, as always, anti-endos coming into endogenic tags means the response goes to anti-endo tags. If anti-endos do not like me posting in their tags, please take a moment to explain to @frenzyborderlines why crosstagging into our spaces is bad (and incredibly hypocritical from someone telling endogenic systems to stay out of CDD spaces) so I won't need to do this again.

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #anti endo #anti endogenic #endogenic #endos are real #endos aren't real #multiplicity #endogenic system #psychology #psychiatry #science #actually plural #actually a system #Youtube

[creaman]

Idk if I'm allowed to encourage this but everything you said about Kung fu Panda 4 is correct, it not only killed my grandma but massacred my bloodline. The only saving grace of that movie was the cute Dad stuff, and that the theater I watched it in had comfy reclining sofa chairs as seats.

Although you can make the point that Li and Ping 'distract from the film', being the B plot, they are genuinely the only good part of the movie. Again, you could argue that their absense would mean more time to develop the A plot, but their precense is the only funny and charming part of the film and the A plot had plenty of time.

The movie has the same runtime as its predecessors, but chose to spend near all of its time padding out the A plot with spoken exposition and filler chase sequences when it could have been fleshing out The Chameleon as a villain and developing Zhen and Po's dynamic.

Now taking this opportunity to talk about some of the secondary points I didn't get to cover in the primary post (hating is my passion)

Original Post

KFP4 spoilers again

Juniper City Sequence

A lot of the comedy is generic subversion — A statement followed by a verbal or visual contradiction which is standard, worn out and the laziest most predictable form of comedy.

There was also a scene that actually made me pause the movie and cackle; not from the humour, but from the sheer absurdity; — in which Po refers to himself as “—The Kung Fu Panda!”

Has never previously referred to himself as this

Has never been referred to as that by others

This is a genius scene which takes inspiration from the most memorable sequence in Kung Fu Panda 2, in which Lord Shen utters the chilling line, "You see, I need my Kung Fu Panda Too." (So powerful. Brought tears to my eyes.)

Smarmy. Arrogant. Unearned. Even if this was the Kung Fu Panda I knew and loved, what a pompous way to put it.

The Staff of Wisdom

It's pretty great. I tuned out all the lore, mostly because the first scene with this object is Po exclaiming "The staff of wisdom!" followed by nothing but exposition.

It's the implication that he's nothing without it, and that it embodies the Dragon Warrior. He's reduced to a staff which essentially has no function until the end. It sticks out in every scene because this meathead carries it everywhere, like its his house keys.

This one is a nitpick, but I think it looks stupid. It was fine in the third film because it functions as a little trophy for him, having defeated General Kai and finding peace with his identity — but it's too small for him, reads like a fucking lollipop and he looks ridiculous holding it because he doesn't use it in most of his scenes so it's just dead weight for the entire runtime.

The Final Act

This part is a little less structured — I had stopped taking proper notes and started typing 'WHY??' and 'FUCK YOU'.

The Kung Fu Masters. My favourite part of the film, as a Lord Shen enthusiast, was when they brought him in for two seconds and then had him sit in a cage with no spoken dialogue for the remainder of the sequence. Why are they here? Why is kung fu stored in the spirit? (pee is stored in the balls?)

Just tried to talk about the bowing scene again but I just know I'm going to give myself an aneurysm. Postponed.

The defeat of The Chameleon. Among the most memorable villain defeats, we bring you: head trauma.

The Amalgamation. Oh man. Sorcery was already a stretch in the worldbuilding of Kung Fu Panda. Now you're telling me The Chameleon can shift into a huge amalgamation of all the kung fu masters? This has nothing to do with kung fu anymore — artificially inflated as a threat by being... bigger.

Spoilers, She doesn't even do anything with this. Kind of just runs around snapping at their heels.

The Chameleon really doesn't utilise her abilities at all. She turns into Lord Shen to... to kick Po. Not to manipulate him psychologically or anything, but to... kick him. Alright.

They opted to make the fight sequence cool (by having the Chameleon shift between forms for no real purpose) but the fight scene is a nothing burger, in which no real damage is done to either party until Po busts out the pwn stick.

Closing Statements

I don't hate Kung Fu Panda 4 (blatant lie). I wanted the film to succeed, genuinely. But the state of it now...

Mess. Bury it.

#creaman-answer-sheet.pdf #creaman talks to drywall #kung fu panda 4 #kfp #hating on main #spoilers #vent again #discussion #criticism #you drive me to drink kung fu panda 4

[bookishfeylin]

I posted in someone else’s ask box about how I think maybe in the original SJM did plan Feysand mates, but have Feylin endgame.

In the first book, she sets up a theme for the series. Love, specifically human love, can be equal to or greater than immortal love.

We have a Tamlin telling Feyre that his mother overlooked the abused he endured under his father and siblings because she was blinded by the bond. We have Amarantha telling Tamlin that human love is fickle. We have Feyre realizing that Nesta does love her as she loves her sister, she’s just doesn’t express it often or well and they make up. We have Papa Archeron being an example of that fickle love when Feyre returns and he immediately wants to marry her off. The answer to the riddle was love. Feyre went back for love. Feyre’s “human heart.”

And then at the end we have Rhysand realizing him and Feyre are mates. Ok. Cool.

Is it possible with that theme she set up that she had a full circle ending planned? Feyre with her human heart, sees the monstrosity Rhysand is and chooses Tamlin? The high lord she stays with? An eff you to Amarantha?

I just don’t see why she would set that whole theme up if it wasn’t going to have an impact in later books. And I feel that because she doesn’t uphold this theme in her later books, that’s why the series falls apart. Because it was a theme that would have played a part in Nesta and Elain’s romances as well (since we know Nesta was originally supposed to be with Lucien, and per SJM standard, Elain would’ve also ended up with a fae), we can look directly to Nesta’s book to see just how damaging the deviation was.

I believe @goforth-ladymidnight originally proposed something similar to this and the idea has never let me go (go follow her she's so wholesome). Yes, this analysis is everything because it would make perfect since with theme established in book 1. I wrote that ACOMAF is a bad sequel for this very reason right here--because it ignores that the main tension of book one, and something that appeared to be set up as a major theme, was the conflict between fae love and human love and which was more genuine. Amarantha argued that humans cannot love like faeries can--that their love can never reach the depth of love and loyalty that fae feel for each other. But it's also noted through the example of Tamlin's parents that the deepest expression of faerie love in Prythian's society--a mating bond--doesn't mean the pair are actually a good match, and it allows a couple to overlook the heinous actions the other commits, so Amarantha's reasoning about faerie love being superior was inherently flawed from the get-go. Feyre being mated to Rhysand but choosing Tamlin would prove Amarantha wrong in every possible way for reasons you've already so eloquently explained. It would finally make the sequels thematically congruent with ACOTAR 1, and would honestly be an incredibly satifying refutiation of the dark-haired-bad-boy trope.

I just don’t see why she would set that whole theme up if it wasn’t going to have an impact in later books.

Because ACOTAR originally had a different set of sequels all written in 2009, which were scrapped when Sarah chose to write ACOMAF and ACOWAR in 2014. We'll never know what the original plot was, but thematically this makes sense for ACOTAR's sequels, and I can't help but wonder if this was the route Sarah originally took with them.

#ask #anon #acotar #feylin #feyre x tamlin #tamlin x feyre #feyre archeron #tamlin

[egg-poll]

EGG POLL: ROUND 1 PART 1 RECAP

the first half of round 1 was very competitive, with a few unexpected turnarounds! as always guys lets try to remember that this is just a silly competition for fun, and whoever ends up winning every headcanon here is awesome just by nature of making it into the tournament!

hunter vs tobias

this poll was a lot closer than expected, especially considering hunter was the #1 most submitted character! tobias had a really strong showing, especially with a lot of campaigning in the post tags, but in the end hunter pulled through. this result could suggest hunter is a lot weaker than initially thought though, will he make it to the next round?

gene vs neo

this one was also surprisingly competitive, with a lot of campaigning on both sides. gene got the most initial nominations so he was the expected winner, but neo is one of the most classic trans readings of a character, and got a lot of support from people who might not have thought of him originally! in the end neo pulled ahead. neo and hunter will certainly make an interesting match up next round!

ashe vs leonardo

ashe was one of the most interesting nominees to watch going in, as he ended up sweeping the nominations with 18 submissions! in the end though, the huge support for this headcanon among just roll with it fans couldn't offset the fandom's small size. but this was in no small part thanks to the tmnt fandom's rallying around leonardo! both of these characters got a huge amount of support, and we ended up with our first two pieces of amazing fanart! but if tmnt's success in the autism swag summit is any indicator, leo might be a competitor to watch going into future rounds!

rain vs finn

rain was another nominee with a size disadvantage going in. while ward fans did their best to rally, they couldn't beat finn, another character with an overall few number of submissions but who ended up winning from sheer popularity. ward fans took it in stride though, with some noting that rain losing in the first round might be the most in character outcome. we also got another great piece of fanart! finn did not get a lot of campaigning, definitely indicating he might be in danger in future rounds.

ralsei vs ken

this was a difficult one for me as i really love both of these headcanons! digimon fans presented some great arguments, but couldn't overcome the trans ralsei headcanon (which has years of support, pioneered by yours truly...) time will tell if deltarune fans can push this headcanon forward to other rounds! either way trans girl ken will surely live on in our hearts :)

sonic vs haruhi

this one was a pretty surprising upset! sonic was one of the most nominated characters, but got beaten out by haruhi who actually received zero direct nominations. sonic fans likely put more weight behind tails, which is overall a more popular headcanon. some argued haruhi is too textually trans to really be considered an egg (although by not being canon she still fits into the rules of this competition). this argument will surely come into play in future rounds though, and likely with mion vs lake in part 2 of this round!

luigi vs double d

another upset, although not the most surprising one. although luigi recieved a lot of support in the nomination round, fans overall decided this headcanon didn't hold up to scrutiny quite as well as double d, who is arguably(?) canon already (but still eligible according to tournament rules) i would not be surprised to see double d go even further in future rounds!

tails vs fuuta

this was another with a pretty obvious outcome from the beginning, with transfem tails being another super classic egg headcanon. fuuta didn't really stand much of a chance, with some fans calling it a popularity poll (this is just how seeding works guys, i'm sorry!) despite their smaller fanbase though, milgram fans showed a lot of support and provided evidence of their own. while egg fuuta will always live on, sonic fans may end up pushing even harder for tails in future rounds with sonic eliminated. only time will tell!

thats all for this time guys, be sure to come back tomorrow for part 2 of this round!

[tallerthantale]

What Does Aziraphale Actually Believe, Part 5: Temptation

This is a series of my takes on what Aziraphale believes through the timeline of the show. It is all my personal interpretation, and I am happy to hear others. You don’t need to read them all in order, but know that I am coming from a perspective on Aziraphale’s machinations that can be difficult for people without a psychology background to follow without the first two posts as a primer. The quick version is that Aziraphale has a set of beliefs that exist in some form or another within his mind. However, at any given moment, only some of them exist ‘with awareness’ or as I am putting it here, conscious!Aziraphale only has access to the beliefs that the rest of his mind, veil!Aziraphale, allows him to know about. The context of the moment will determine what lives on the surface and what stays buried behind the veil, whatever arrangement best prevents a threat to Aziraphale’s sense of self and makes whatever he is inclined to do feel right.

In this part I will be starting with the ox rib we skipped over last time, then moving forward through the cold open flashbacks between Job and Edinburgh. Edinburgh itself will be the start of the next post. The focus is on temptation, Crowley tempting Aziraphale, Aziraphale learning to do Crowley’s temptations, then Aziraphale learning to tempt Crowley himself. 3.7k words. I just keep getting carried away don’t I…  All hope was lost when I started doing end notes.

Temptations are Crowley’s department, all the way back to the apple. He was perhaps the original tempter. I have commented before that his description of himself as only ever having asked questions could be a description of him essentially tempting the other future demons to try to unionise heaven. He likes crafting a persuasive argument, and he makes them based on a model of what he knows other people believe, rather than his own beliefs. While Aziraphale shifts what he believes he believes, Crowley shifts the belief he is arguing, his actual beliefs stable but obscured. 

Are You Trying to Tempt Me?

“Not at all, angels can’t be tempted, can they?”

“Certainly not.”

“Well, then you’re free to try the food.”

This is, once again, a fallen angel, an entity who was an angel, ‘did the wrong thing’ and now isn’t an angel anymore because of it, telling a current angel that it is impossible for an angel to do the wrong thing. Once again, Aziraphale endorses the face value assertion. Aziraphale may be starting at times to adopt a view where Crowley’s fall didn’t happen because he did the wrong thing, but because God has an ineffable plan for Crowley. 

That said, it is still funny to me that Crowley makes this argument, given that he at least considers the fall to have been intended as a punishment for doing the wrong thing. He knows the argument will work on Aziraphale anyway, because Aziraphale likes to assure himself with absolutism. Crowley knows that by claiming Aziraphale is inherently incapable of being tempted he’s framing things in a way that mindfucks Aziraphale. He is offering Aziraphale options for how to rationalise his actions. He also makes a point of presenting the platter, and holding it and himself still, such that every action Aziraphale takes is within his own control.

Aziraphale tries the food because he wants to. He would not have realised that he wanted to if Crowley hadn’t put it in front of him. He might not have gone for it if Crowley hadn’t verbally handed him the rationalisation. Individual definitions of temptation may vary, but I’m pretty sure this qualifies under most of them. Or rather, the degree to which it qualifies depends on the value judgement we put on eating the ox. We wouldn’t generally say a dehydrated person was tempted to drink water. 

Does Aziraphale think that he was tempted after the fact? For the rest of the Job minisode he’s got bigger things to worry about, and we don’t see him again until 2533 years later. However, flashing forward to their interaction in Rome, my take would be that he does come to believe Crowley tempted him with the ox rib, but he feels positively about that. 

Aziraphale has a peculiar trust in Crowley, where he never rules out that any particular thing Crowley says is a lie, either directly or through misleading, but has utterly unshakable faith that Crowley will not substantively abuse their bond. He is not worried for a second that Crowley will blackmail him or harm him. I think that version of complex trust extends to believing that Crowley can and will tempt him, including in manipulative ways, but it will only ever land him somewhere he will in retrospect be happy to have gone. Aziraphale can believe Crowley manipulatively tempted him to pick up earthly pleasures, and also believe at the same time that Crowley did him a favour by tempting him, as an act of service. 

Aziraphale tends to sort things as morally bad when they feel wrong, and morally good when they feel right. Before trying the food, his desire to eat felt wrong, and he was at war with himself about it. He was being nudged towards something that felt wrong, he feels he might be being tempted, he feels conflicted, he is not at peace with himself. Once Crowley nudged him over the line, and he tried it, it felt right. His inner conflict was cured by the nudge, and now eating food feels right, and the temptation wasn’t like… a TEMPTATION temptation. Just a little tempting, as a treat. 

While I think Crowley hesitates to tempt frequently, largely out of fear Aziraphale will decide it was the bad kind of temptation, Crowley is actually very protected from that outcome. In the event that Aziraphale doesn’t enjoy the thing, he won’t pick it up as a habit, and the TEMPTATION will have failed. Any temptation that works is the good kind, so Aziraphale won’t take up a vice and then feel negatively about Crowley for the fact that he has the vice. Even so, the pattern puts a lot of heavy lifting and responsibility on Crowley, and I can see why Crowley wouldn’t push those lines often.

Not Quite Allies

We next see the duo at the Crucifixion, where Aziraphale laments that he is not consulted on policy decisions. It is a tacit admission that he would not have made the same call if he had been in charge. He doesn't have any authority over what heaven decides to do. Does he think God made the decision? Does he think God was playing games with the angels to see what they would go along with? I don't know, and I'm not sure Aziraphale knows what he thinks either. At this point I think he tries to not have opinions as often as he can, but isn’t always successful. He wants heaven to be different, but he doesn’t have a plan. Does he want to be consulted on policy decisions? Not if it won’t make a difference. If he is too outnumbered for expressing dissent to matter, that is a workplace politics nightmare, and he might have to fake a position to avoid retaliation. Best to avoid that. But what if it is a case of pluralistic ignorance? See end note.

Crowley had a temptation mission and didn’t like how it went. 

“Still a demon then?” 

“What kind of stupid question is that? Still a demon? What else am I going to be, an Aardvark?”

“...Saluteria.” 

Crowley’s bitter sarcasm, while partly from his already sour mood, still makes me think he doesn’t believe it is physically possible for him to stop being a demon. I don’t think Aziraphale has any material knowledge Crowley doesn’t. Aziraphale has no reason to have the hypothetical possibility in his mind that Crowley could stop being a demon. Sure it was just a fumbling awkward thing to say, but it had to be in some part of his mind first to come out of his mouth. As I have said before, when Aziraphale believes something inexplicably, it’s because he isn’t emotionally prepared to live in a universe where it isn’t true. Aziraphale isn’t emotionally prepared to live in a universe where Crowley will forever be a demon. That said, he’s going to have some fun with the fact that Crowley is a demon for now.

“I thought I’d try Petronius’s new restaurant. I hear he does remarkable things to oysters.”

“I’ve never eaten an oyster.”

“Oh! Oh, well, let me tempt you to… Oh, no, that, that’s your job, isn’t it?”

Gulp

Aziraphale tells Crowley it's his job to tempt him. It's a bit facetious, sure. But it's still in the context of genuinely encouraging him to go to an explicitly homoerotic fiction writer's aphrodisiac restaurant, so.... I have a long post about why Aziraphale wants Crowley to tempt him more, dubbed the spicy meta if you haven't read it yet. Long story short, it's a responsibility dodge for having desires in the first place. If Crowley tempts him, he can imagine himself to be accommodating Crowley’s desires rather than having his own. I would also speculate that given the popularity of the Roman baths Aziraphale has already figured out how to make the effort, at least as far as appearances go. At this point, is Aziraphale DTF on the grounds that it's just sushi with friction? I'm not sure I'd go that far, but I do think he is taking a baby step on a road that he knows is headed in that direction. See end note.

I don't think he thinks God would object, but I do think he imagines that returning Crowley to being an angel is a milestone on that road. He has seen the truth of Crowley's loneliness as a demon who can only go along with hell so far, and I think Aziraphale is already aiming for eventually creating a reformed heaven that wouldn't have cast Crowley out and could take him back. If he didn’t deserve to fall for Uz, why should Crowley be a demon for asking questions? Aziraphale treats Crowley’s demonic status as a temporary state. When he assigns qualities or features or allegiances to Crowley due to Crowley being a demon, Aziraphale doesn’t see that as an essentialization, because to him ‘demon’ is a transitory state of being, not an identity. That isn’t how Crowley sees it, and Aziraphale is frustratingly oblivious to that fact. 

Several hundred years later they are both stationed in Great Britain. Aziraphale refuses the first offer of the arrangement. Aziraphale likes doing good deeds. He gets carried away doing miracles for people. Doing good things makes him feel good, and he likes it when what he is supposed to be doing and that he enjoys doing gets to be the same thing. His only inkling towards accepting Crowley's proposal was a creature comfort one, "It is a bit damp." Notably, the offer was not one to cover or trade responsibilities, but to mutually stand down. The next time we see the arrangement offered, it's a bit different.

All the World’s a Stage

When Crowley and Aziraphale are facing the same direction, Season one goes extremely hard on always placing Aziraphale to Crowley's right, and Crowley to Aziraphale's left, all the way through the season building up to the body swap reveal. Except at the Globe. Here they switch back and forth, to show they are now comfortable changing roles.

At the Globe Aziraphale protests, before it is revealed that he has already done Crowley's temptations dozens of times. The number one flashback I want to see in Season 3 is the first time Aziraphale performed one of Crowley's temptation assignments from hell, and why he agreed to do it. My guess is that it was mostly the potential for Crowley to be doing blessings that sells him on it. Probably relating to Crowley's fondness for doing nice things for people, but also probably part of Aziraphale's hopes to get an angelic Crowley back. I would imagine that proving a demon can be saved and become an angel again would in his mind be a far greater good than the harm done by him personally performing the occasional minor temptation that was going to happen anyway.

It is also clearly observable that when Aziraphale loses the coin toss, is now responsible for doing Crowley’s temptation, and won’t be getting Crowley to do a blessing, he isn’t bothered by it. At some point off screen he has gained the ability to tempt people himself without it ‘feeling bad.’ He has also gained the making puppy eyes at Crowley ability. He can get Crowley to do things without asking out loud, and therefore without having to acknowledge that he was asking for something.

Aziraphale now has a card he can play to not take moral responsibility for temptation behaviour. As long as he is tempting someone, or baiting them into something, he didn’t actually do the thing himself, he didn't ask anyone to do that... We can observe that he is personally doing a job assigned from hell, and judge Aziraphale for not considering that to be getting his hands dirty. I certainly do. But Aziraphale is clinging to that distinction. He tempted humans, they still did it themselves. He only presented Crowley the opportunity to do a good deed, Crowley made the play a hit. The last step in the causal chain is what counts. Except when it doesn’t.

His initial objections to the arrangement are all for show. It’s the theme of the flashback, all the world’s a stage and Aziraphale and Crowley are playing their parts when they do their jobs, and can play each other’s parts just as well. But who is Aziraphale’s show of protest for? There is plenty of room for interpretation on this point, but it seems to me that any observation from heaven or hell of their shenanigans would get them both executed no matter how many times Aziraphale faux protested about it first. 

If Aziraphale’s sanity hinges on believing God is ok with what he has gotten up to, so he can assume he believes God already knows and doesn’t care, and the institution of heaven would condemn him either way, why the show? He doesn’t put up a show with the snacks. He’s just an angel that likes snacks. That works for him. Why can’t he just be an angel who’s friends with a demon? Because he isn’t at peace with it yet. His conflicted feelings about Crowley and about their allegiances are making a mess in the back of his mind, and the performance he is putting on is for himself.

Aziraphale’s initial protest lets him believe that Crowley made him do it. But isn’t he also, at the same time, learning to tempt others and not take responsibility for what they do? Yes. So does he believe the tempter is responsible, or does he believe the tempted is responsible? He CAN believe either. They are options he has, when his mind constructs his conscious experience. Whatever lets him do what intuitively feels right at the time without damaging his sense of self gets loaded into his awareness. 

The Bastille

Princess Peach is looked up in the Bastille. Aziraphale cannot bring himself to simply take Crowley out to lunch. That wouldn't be a very angelic thing to do, taking a demon out for a lunch date. But alas, his encouragement of the temptation demon to tempt him more hasn't gone in the direction he had hoped, and so yet again, he must personally do the tempting himself. How can he, an angel of the lord, tempt a temptation demon into a lunch date without it being a lunch date? Well, if circumstances arose such that he happened to owe the demon a favour, the angelic thing to do would be to treat him to lunch of course. It wouldn't be a date per se, it would be courtesy. Maybe he can keep finding creative ways to owe the demon favours. 

Once again we can ask, how much of this nonsense is keeping up appearances for heaven? I think it is basically zero. Aziraphale believes God already knows everything he and Crowley have done, and they have done it with God’s indifference if not blessing. Aziraphale will go to some effort maintaining appearances around the archangels, they wouldn’t like him fraternising. But I still don’t think the Bastille nonsense was an act for them. In my opinion he knows heaven’s management doesn't care if Aziraphale is out to lunch with Crowley because it's a date or if it's repayment for the Bastille rescue, it’s treason either way. There is a case to be made that Aziraphale is only ever worried heaven will give him a slap on the wrist for his nonsense, but in that interpretation I still think the distinction between lunch date and lunch repayment remains a distinction Aziraphale would know the archangels don’t care about.

So if Aziraphale isn’t putting the charade on for God, because God already knows, and he isn’t putting it on for heaven’s leadership, because the difference doesn’t mean anything to them, why is he doing it at all? Because needing the repayment excuse to take Crowley out for crepes isn't about maintaining an outward facing concept of appearances, but an internal one.��

Aziraphale has an internal sense of what he prefers, and what feels right. His feelings towards Crowley create a conflict between his sense of what he prefers and what feels right. He prefers to buy Crowley crepes. Inviting a demon out to lunch for a date doesn't feel right. Repaying a favour feels right, problem solved. Of course what would really feel right would be for Crowley to be doing the pursuing and tempting. Then he would just be accommodating the demon’s desires, not having desires of his own. Crowley isn’t taking on the tempting / romancing role without some very aggressive subtext paving the way, but by learning how to do Crowley's temptation assignments, Aziraphale has also learned how to tempt Crowley.

Aziraphale can believe he is acting in accordance with God's ineffable will as long as what he prefers to do can also feel right, and he can get very creative about what feels right. It probably felt very righteous to swap clothes with the executioner. It wouldn't have felt righteous to personally kill the man with his own hands, but Aziraphale didn't do that, so in his mind he isn't responsible for the death.

There is a poetic justice argument to be made in favour of killing the executioner, and Crowley does make it. But that isn't how Aziraphale understands it. We see in the modern era that Aziraphale claims to have never killed anything before. Unless he personally does the killing directly, it doesn't count. He doesn't consider himself responsible for the death of the fish in his sushi either, contributing to the market demand for animal products is even more abstracted than changing the executioner's clothes. 

Part 5/10

End Notes

On policy decisions: There is a Game Theory issue, where if one person can’t make a difference, and you risk destruction for speaking out, the right choice is not to speak out. Unless secretly a lot of people are all making the same calculation. Say you have a group of people, and there is a vote between green and purple. If purple wins, everyone gets 20$ and the organisers are fired. If green wins, everyone who voted purple is shot. The organisers say they will fine anyone who promotes voting purple. Everyone says they will vote green. Is it in your interest to vote purple? Only if you know you will win. Everyone says they will vote green, so you can’t ever have confidence that purple will win, even though purple winning is clearly the better outcome. This sort of trap hinders a lot of attempts to form unions IRL, even when a strong majority do want to form one. 

If Aziraphale wants to coup heaven, he’ll need to know he has enough angels siding with him to win. He isn’t in a position to pull off so much as a sneaky headcount while stationed on earth, and given how isolated heaven keeps angels I’m not sure he’d make any progress stationed in heaven. I think there are differences he’d like to make in how heaven runs, but it isn’t clear if arguing the point would make progress or get him a one way ticket to a scrivener’s closet with a wiped brain. If everyone in heaven really is on team whack the kids, it makes sense for Aziraphale to just keep his head down. But what if like 95% of the angels actually agree with Aziraphale, and are also just keeping their heads down, because everyone is individually incorrectly assuming the majority are on team whack the kids, because everyone is coerced into saying that they are on team whack the kids? Then we might see his unwillingness to force the issue in a different light. The second version feels very Terry Pratchett to me. 

On sushi with friction: I personally don’t think Aziraphale would have a romantic or sexual relationship with a human. I think he would consider it out of line with his responsibilities as a guardian / caretaker of humanity. I think at this point, that is the only reason he wouldn’t. Aziraphale parallels a lot of IRL behaviour of people with shame around their sexuality or sex drive, and it’s worth observing and commenting on, or feeling represented by for those who do. However I think his hang-ups with Crowley, wanting Crowley to tempt him, approach avoidance about it ect… are more about Crowley being on 'opposite sides' than about Aziraphale having shame responses around sex. That is just my perspective though, as with everything else here. Differing opinions are encouraged, I’m happy to hear what other people think.

On killing the Executioner: Theoretically modern Aziraphale could have not loaded the memory of the incident with the executioner into his awareness. We see when they go to the Ritz in S1E1 that Aziraphale’s memory of the time period has gaps, and he mostly remembers the crepes date. That said, we know from Neil’s recorded commentary on S1E3 that at least as far as Neil sees it, Aziraphale doesn’t take responsibility for the executioner’s death because that's just how he processes events at the time. 

#good omens #good omens meta #go meta #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #what does aziraphale actually believe

[filtercoffeeonsteroids]

Why I love desi tumblr:

1. Every other person is expressing their love for chai

2. Moodboards for the most obscure and wonderful things, that I can't seem to live without now

3. SO MUCH INDIAN MYTHOLOGY. I can find anything from krishna-subhadra to panchali-arjun to bheem-duryodhana. It's fantastic. I'm in love.

4. The vibes. The VIBES >>>> . I feel like I'm sitting in front of a window, and it's raining and I'm having chai and pakoras whenever I open my tumblr and it's the best feeling ever.

5. Love the fact that people rant about their exams on here. Especially CBSE. I'm in college now, so it gives me immense and a somewhat twisted joy in laughing about the torture CBSE is putting them through, because, well, my time with that wretched institution is done.

6. The correlations between the supposed western world with indian mythology have my heart. I love how this generation of desis finds similarities in real life to what is written in the epics. For instance, I read a note on krishna and subhadra arguing over the TV remote!!

7. I just witnessed the circulation of Mahabharata memes and desis hating on yudhishthir (and rightfully so, he was an idiot who thought that keeping his wife as a prize in a fucking ludo game was wise) and I have never felt more content.

8. Just had an indepth argument/conversation/whatever we do on tumblr about how a golgappa's rightful name is gol gappa and not panipuri Or phuchka. I feel obligated to let you know that I have crowned myself the winner of this debate.

9. Just found out that draupadi invented golgappa. I owe this discovery to point no. 8. We, as a nation, owe her everything.

10. Found a really nice krishna-balram-subhadra appreciation post a few days back and I love how it was so eloquently written <3

11. SO MANY RRR FANFICS. I absolutely love the ram x bheem love stories ohmygod. I've also come across some smutty ones on tumblr and I've got to say- we have an active imagination 😏

12. All my mutuals loved the latest dad joke I posted- it's getting so much attention, I love it 😌

13. All of desi tumblr us freaking out about the indian origin candidates for the position of Britain's prime minister and I love the irony of how the country that colonised us for 200 years will maybe have an Indian origin prime minister 😌

14. I recently posted about how chicken tikka masala was Britain's national dish and I LOVED the responses xD

15. Adopting recent Instagram trends into indian mythology!! I just saw the "she's a 10" Trend being adapted to Indian Gods and Goddesses 😭💓

16. The shayari on the moon by desis is the reason I live.

(I'll be editing this whenever I find more reasons, but please add to the list!!!)

#desi academia #indian aesthetic #desi things #desi dark academia #south asian #poetry #desi memes #desi aesthetic #delhigram #spotify #desi light academia #. darkacademia darkcottagecoreaesthetic desicottagecore cottagecoreaesthetic brownaesthetics tumblraesthetic tumblrquotes #desi cottagecore #desi culture #desi tag #desi tumblr #desiblr #gol gappa #desifood #mahabharata #desicore #desi girl #desi moodboard #desi stuff #just desi things #dad jokes

[nickfowlerrr]

pretty when you cry - chapter seven

series masterlist / chapter eight

*originally posted to @bellareadsandrecs on 03/23/22*

pairing: dark!biker!bucky x curvy!reader (dark!soulmate au)

warnings: 18+ ONLY. mentions of violence. mentions of assault. arguing. mentions of anxiety attacks. noncon/dubcon relationship. uh that’s it i think but please let me know if i need to add anything!

words: 4.2k

notes: this is actually longer than i thought it would be so yay! i hope you guys like it. as always feedback is always welcome and appreciated. also! chapter eight is in progress and i think you guys are gonna like it 👀 anyway! thank you for the continued support you’ve shown for this series - it seriously makes me so happy people are enjoying it. you guys are the best and i love you all 🥰💘

This is a DARK series!!! Please proceed with abundant caution.

It couldn’t have been more than two hours that passed. The ringing of a phone was what first roused you, but it was the movement of Bucky getting off of your bed that really woke you. You kept your eyes closed and strained to hear as he walked toward the door leading back to the living room. You couldn’t make out anything, just heard his hushed tones as he walked further from your bedroom. You rubbed your eyes and stretched out before looking for your phone. You realized you left it on your couch and grumbled to yourself as you got out of bed.

“I said I’ll get there when I get there. Stop calling me every ten fucking minutes.”

“So what if it is? I know what I’m doing and you need to mind your own business. I’m not getting into this with you again. My phone rings one more time and nobody’s dead or dying, we’re gonna have a problem.”

You could only hear Bucky’s side of the conversation he had going on as he spoke aggressively on his cell in the kitchen. You wondered briefly who he was talking to and what he was talking about, but told yourself that you didn’t care as you grabbed your phone off of the couch cushion it was laid on.

“You’re awake,” he said as he walked into the living room, eyes locked on you. Like he was trying to gauge how much of his conversation you heard and if you had anything to say about it if you did.

“Thanks to you,” you muttered, “Sounds like you have somewhere to be. You should go, deal with… whatever it is you do,” you suggested vaguely as you read your notifications on your phone.

“Work. But I’ve got more important things to deal with here,”

“You really don’t,” you said breathily, feeling completely exasperated as you brought your head up to meet his eye. “I’ve told you, repeatedly, that I can’t do this with you. I don’t want to deal with this. At all. I’m sure you’ll find someone who is just your type and doesn’t care that you’re a selfish asshole who thinks of no one but himself and what he wants, but it’s not me.”

“I’m not going anywhere. And we can keep having the same back and forth argument over and over again, if that’ll make you feel better, princess, but it doesn’t change the truth.” he said as he plopped down on the couch, somehow smoothly pulling you with him before you could bat his hand away.

“The truth? And what exactly is the truth, Bucky?” you said as you shrugged away from him and stood back up.

“We’re soulmates, y/n. That is an undeniable fact. The truth is that we can’t fight forever. Not each other. Not this.” he said as he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looked up at you.

“Maybe that’s your truth, but it’s not mine. I can keep fighting this, and I will. I deserve better,” you said, trying to sound sure of yourself but it sounded more like you were just trying to convince yourself of that fact and having a hard time believing it. “…And I’ll keep reminding you of that every chance I get since you refuse to leave me alone. I’ll be sure to remind you that the very first time you spoke to me, you threatened me. And “spoke” is a very kind way of putting it, actually. If I remember correctly, you got in my face and yelled at me. And then you broke into my house and assaulted me while I could do absolutely nothing to fight you off,” you continued as calmly as you could manage, ignoring the fire burning in his eyes as he watched your every gesture, every step, as you began to walk around the coffee table to put more space between you. It was easier to think when he wasn’t so close.

Once you had the nerve, you forced yourself to meet his gaze and spoke more strongly than you thought you’d be able to. You felt a spike of ire in you and through the hurt and humiliation you still felt about the situation - you were reluctant, and worried, to realize there was just a little bit of jealousy lurking there, too.

“You took my virginity, then looked me in the eyes and insulted me before leaving to go on a date with some random woman that you then fucked,” you fought down the aggression threatening to show itself but continued on, “As if that wasn’t enough, you then had me watched, and you stalked me, too, right? Online. Did you know I knew about that? Don’t answer that actually, I’m sure you aren’t bothered one way or the other. You probably know nearly everything there is to know about me by now, while I still know absolutely nothing about you. I -,” you laughed humorlessly, “You realize I don’t even know your name? This “soulmate” thing, fine - it’s true. But it’s torture. For both of us. You don’t want me, Bucky. I don’t know what you want, honestly. Maybe you just want someone to love - someone to love you, or maybe just someone to own, I don’t know, I don’t know you. All I know is that it’s not me. I’m not the girl you’re looking for. I’m not the girl you want.”

“You don’t have to keep reminding me. I know what I did. And I apologized -”

“And it’s not enough,”

“This whole thing is only torture because you’re too fucking stubborn to let it happen and admit that you want it!” he yelled as he stood up from the couch. You flinched and backed away further at the sound and sudden movement and he softened instantly. Taking a breath, he walked away from the couch but didn’t try to move closer to you as he ran his hands down his face before he turned his back to you and continued, “I can’t blame you, though. I didn’t want to admit it either,” he said before he turned back around to look at you, making sure you were looking back as he tried to clarify, “Not because of you,” he said sounding like he wanted to reassure you of that fact - like he knew you weren’t going to believe him but wanted to make it clear anyway.

“Because of the intensity, whatever it is that’s pushing us together. This…love. I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to care,” he said, seeming to measure his words before he spoke as he walked toward you cautiously - like he was approaching a fawn that was liable to take off at any sudden movement. “Not that night I first saw you and not the night I really fucked everything up. But don’t you get that that’s why everything got so fucked?” He was close enough to touch and he reached his hands out to gently hold your face as you stared at him - frozen like a deer in headlights.

“Because I was trying to fight this so hard that everything snapped at once and all I wanted was you. And then I came down from that high and tried to ignore the truth again, and fucked things up even more. I hurt you and I hurt us.” You swallowed hard at that statement and knew you should try to steel yourself against whatever pretty words he was going to throw at you next.

“I told you before and I know you don’t believe me, but I didn’t mean it. I wanted to mean it. Wanted to be over it and just stop thinking about you, but that didn’t happen. You’re all I ever think about. I never used to have dreams, but I’ve seen you in them every night since I first looked into your eyes.” The pessimist in you wanted to roll your eyes so hard, but the hopeless romantic in you made your eyes want to water. You shook your head in an attempt to rid yourself of a reaction either way and to get his hands off you, and he did drop them to his sides after a moment of looking into your eyes, again trying to gauge your honest reaction before you cast your eyes back down. His gaze was penetrating and you were worried he’d see what you were thinking. Or worse, you’d slip and just tell him yourself like you were under hypnosis.

You wouldn’t tell him - but when you dreamed, you always saw him, too.

Why did knowing he dreamed about you too make you feel less solitary? You didn’t dwell on it as he grabbed your chin in his flesh hand and tilted your face up to lock eyes with you and spoke again as his metal hand found your waist. The sincerity in his eyes and in his touch was evident and it stressed you out. You weren’t supposed to let him affect you, you chided yourself but when he started to speak again, your mind went momentarily blank as you stared back at him and listened. You swore you were in a trance.

“You’re mesmerizing. And you’re sweet. You never miss posting on your sisters’ birthdays. And you love poetry and you don’t post many pictures of yourself but I wish you would. Being able to see you even when you’re not in front of me, and I can’t look at you in person, brings me a comfort I didn’t know I was looking for. Seeing your face is something I look forward to everyday now. Just seeing you smile makes me feel better. And seeing you sad - I never thought I’d be so affected by someone else’s feelings before, but when I know you’re sad or upset or hurt it’s like this overwhelming urge to soothe you and protect you takes over,” he added while his metal hand began to move soothingly along the exposed skin your crop top allowed, pulling you closer to him without you realizing. His eyes looked sad as he thought for a brief second. “You seem so drawn to loneliness - solitude,” he began as his thumb stroked your cheek, “I wonder if you’ve made it a part of yourself. I had. Maybe you’re not used to not being alone. But no one is made to be alone forever. I do know a lot about you and you don’t really know me. But I promise that I’m exactly who you need. We need each other.” He finished as he rested his forehead against your own.You had to take a deep shuddering breath as his hand left your jaw and fell to your waist along with his metal hand as he wrapped them around you tightly and pulled you ever closer to his chest, his cheek resting on your head as he held you.

Fuck.

You felt like crying but you’d rather gouge your own eyes out before you did that again. Why was this getting to you? Are you really this weak? This pathetic? A few cheesy words and you’re a mess of emotions, you continued to demean yourself in your head. Maybe that would stop the tears that threatened to appear. You bit your tongue. Hard. You then realized you had started reciprocating his hug and pulled away almost instantly…almost instantly. You had to really compose yourself first, but when you finally did pull away and pushed him away slightly - you plastered on a near stoic look - doing your best to appear unaffected before you took a hard, scrutinizing look at his face - tilting your head and saying,

“You are really sappy, has anyone ever told you that? What happened to you not being the mushy type, huh?”

You expected - and maybe even hoped that he’d get upset with you - upset that you were trying to brush him and his words off once again, but he surprised you with his response.

“My ma when I was a kid,” he laughed as he looked down at you smiling playfully and almost adoringly - it was slightly alarming. That look on this big beefy biker, the man who is almost always looking either angry or arrogant - or both - and always intimidating no matter who he was around - you figured it must be a rare sight. And that made you feel a little too soft as you realized that look was for you. Just you. “I’ll show you who I really am, doll. I swear I’ll never hurt or take advantage of you or our connection again, I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I don’t,” he intoned as he took a step closer - now back to where he was standing before you pushed him away as you stood with your arms crossed against your chest as if they were your last layer of protection. “Look, just have dinner with me. Just for tonight - forget everything that’s happened. Pretend it’s the first time we’re meeting and if you still don’t want to do this, I won’t force you to.”

You were annoyed at the insinuation that everything he did was something you could just forget about, but the softness you were feeling was still partly clouding your rational mind so you didn’t fight too hard at the moment. You didn’t have it in you after hearing his words. The man practically fucking love bombed you and you were still trying to clear from the fallout.

“I’m not getting dressed and I’m not planning on leaving this house today, so -”

“I’ll order in.”

His seeming desperation was giving you a major ego boost and unfortunately his determination and unrelenting advances were wearing you down. “And then that’s it? I tell you to go and you go?”

“You tell me to go.. I’ll go.” You didn’t really believe him. And the confident, dark undercurrent in his eyes seemed to assure you that he was going to get what he wanted. And what he wanted was you.

“Fine,” you found yourself acquiescing to him yet again. Seemed to be a bad habit forming.

You tried to avoid conversation as he looked for a good place that delivered and then ordered food as you worked on cleaning your mess from last night. You knew anything other than asking what you wanted and from where would just lead to you fighting. You were also very aware of the fact that he had been acting very sweet and caring since last night. Gentle, even. It was quite a change from his behavior at the diner the other day and literally every other interaction you had had with him previously. You were expecting a snarky or rude or just straight up mean response from him when you were talking earlier and he seemed to pass up every opportunity you presented him with to do so. You were still wary, though. Like the facade would break without a moment’s notice and you’d either be left feeling whiplashed from his ever changing moods yet again or shoved up against a wall with his hands all over you and his tongue down your throat. You felt a small spark in your core as the image of him doing so popped up in your mind and you recalled the way you felt in the diner restroom with him pressed up against you the other day. You hated to admit it but you almost missed the feeling of him. You convinced yourself you were just feeling that way because you hadn’t been able to get off properly in weeks - not because of him specifically. But you knew that was all because it seemed like nothing could compare to his touch now that you knew it. And it was constantly leaving you feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled when you tried to get yourself off. And that certainly didn’t help your stress and anxiety levels. Or the attitude you’d been having lately, though you thought that’d be present no matter what given the situations you’d been finding yourself in lately and your current circumstances.

So here you were, in your home, walking on eggshells and feeling awkward as hell while Bucky made himself at home and looked perfectly at ease while he sat on the couch - not paying much attention to the screen, but rather watching you walk back and forth and all around trying to make yourself seem busy. So much for a relaxing day off, you thought to yourself. You met his eye as you passed by him on your way to the front door to grab your bag off the floor along with your jacket. It was like he was studying you intently, but when you did a double take with a raised brow, he schooled his expression to one of amusement. You carried on, not wanting to start a conversation now when you knew he wouldn’t let you have any peace when dinner got here and you’d be forced to sit across from him and pretend like everything was normal. Just a nice get to know you first date of sorts. It wasn’t. He had to know that. Of course he knew that.

You felt uneasy now. Like you were walking into a trap. If you did sit and play along with Bucky’s date, what kind of precedent would that set? Could he use your lack of fight against you? Would he? Like, if you’ve been civil enough to have dinner with him once and it was “fine”, you were fine with it so why is it different now? Why can’t you do it again? If you could forgive him for one night, forget for one night, how do you stop that from spiraling out further down the line. Because you felt your defenses weakening and knew that you would. You would allow yourself to forget. To be with him- despite everything- even though he didn’t deserve you and you deserved better - you would. You felt your breathing pick up as you tried to calm yourself in the laundry room. Your mind was racing and you were getting more and more upset. At him. At yourself. At the whole fucked up situation.

Would he bring it up should you argue against being with him again? Because you did it once and it was fine, why can’t you do it again? You weren’t easily manipulated, but you hated to admit that with just a hint of sadness in those ocean blue eyes of his, you would crumble. Any resolve you may have, gone to the wayside. It was gross. And scary how easily he could have you- hook line and sinker, if he really wanted to and you didn’t even really know him. All you knew was who he’d shown you previously and you should hate him. But in reality you only hated yourself for feeling the way you did about him nonetheless. And this new side of him he was showing you was even harder to try and hate - and not for lack of trying on your part. If you didn’t use every bit of your rational mind to fight off these feelings for him that only seemed to get stronger the more you were around him - as if they weren’t suffocating enough when he was “trying to leave you alone” and he wasn’t around every corner. Well, none that you realized.

Just as you processed that thought, turning the corner from the laundry room back down the hallway, you were greeted by an ever intimidating Bucky. He was deceptively quiet and you startled at the sight of him, a gasp leaving your lips as you clutched your hand to your chest. You were already trying to steady your breaths from your sudden anxiety and him appearing out of nowhere certainly didn’t help you.

“What the fuck?” you whisper yelled at him while you caught your breath, heart still racing.

“What were you doing?” he questioned, sounding as if he wanted to accuse you of something nefarious.

“Laundry,” you responded, annoyance lacing your tone in return. He stepped around you and entered the laundry room, like he was expecting to find some unknown assailant hiding in there.

“What are you doing?” you asked while he moved to check inside your room and the bathroom. “Are you expecting to find someone or something?”

“Are you okay?” he asked, ignoring your questions.

“No. But what’s new,” you said before turning back to continue down the hall to find something else to do. “You know that door in the laundry room leads to the garage if you want to check for monsters in there, too.”

You heard him stomp behind you and you could feel his annoyance at you now as he burned holes into your retreating figure.

He suddenly grabbed your arm to stop you from walking further into the house, it wasn’t a rough grab, just enough to halt you as he held his grip. “Seriously, y/n. Are you okay?”

You didn’t even need to think before responding right away, “No. I’m not. Why are you asking again?”

“Something was wrong,” he said as if it was obvious why he was asking. “What’s wrong?”

“That is a very stupid question, Bucky. I’m not going to keep repeating myself and arguing with you, okay? You know why I’m not okay, and I know you want me to forgive and forget already but I’m not going to,” you spoke quickly as your anxiety showed itself. “This is all extremely confusing and frustrating and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or how I’m supposed to feel and I’m feeling stressed and…” you took his hand off your arm and took a breath, “…look I’m sure the food will be here soon, you can find me when it gets here and we can have your play pretend dinner just like you want, but until then I’m going to find things to do while I try and process everything - like, like what’s going on between us and maybe try and reason what the fuck is wrong with me for not calling the cops on you yet. I’m sure this is trespassing, blackmail, stalking, and I think technically kidnapping? I don’t know what you’d be charged with for essentially holding me hostage, but I think it is kidnapping.” You rambled on and he rolled his eyes as you turned and walked back into the living room following behind you.

“Don’t worry too much about it, I wouldn’t be charged with anything, sweetheart. And the food’s not going to be here soon, I haven’t ordered it.”

“I’m sorry?” you questioned, stopping dead in your tracks as he purposely continued and walked into your back. Attempting to wrap his arms around you but you grabbed his right wrist to stop him as you felt his hands sliding around your hips and spun yourself to face him, dropping his wrist in the process and taking a small step back from him.

“I was waiting for you to tell me what you wanted.”

“I did, - that’s not-” you shook your head and crossed your arms as you attempted to ask him why he was so sure he wouldn’t be charged with anything but he interrupted you.

“No, I asked you what rice you wanted and you told me to give you a second while you ran around with your broom sweeping and then you never told me.” You narrowed your eyes at him before responding.

“That was at least thirty minutes ago, why didn’t you just ask me again?”

“Seemed like you were on a roll, didn’t want to interrupt you.”

“You don’t seem to mind interrupting me any other time, for example, about 15 seconds ago.”

“Let’s not do this,” he said ominously. You took a measured look at him before subconsciously licking your bottom lip and shrugging, “Fine,” you began.

“I’m not going to push it right now because I don’t want to, but I’m not letting it go either.”

He grimaced and you noted the way his jaw clenched in mild annoyance but seemed to be glad you didn’t push it at the moment. He didn’t want to argue with you anymore than you wanted to argue with him again. He walked forward and pushed you around to face the same direction he was - heading back toward the living room. He put an arm around you and pulled you to him as he walked you both to the couch.

“So.. steamed, brown, or fried?” he asked casually while you shoved away from him fighting a small smile you didn’t want to have and certainly didn’t want him to see while you huffed and rolled your eyes. Of course you felt more calm now that he was right next to you.

“What part of ‘stop touching me all the time’ do you not get?” you said as he smirked smugly.

“What’s wrong, princess? Don’t think you’d be able to control yourself with my hands on you?” he taunted.

You felt yourself heat up in embarrassment and annoyance. He really had the audacity to talk about lack of self control? You shot him a sharp look of impatience as he continued past you to the couch.

You somewhat reluctantly followed him and took a seat as far away from him as your couch would allow and with irritation clear in your voice said, “Just order the fucking food, Bucky.”

He laughed as he pulled his phone out once again and you tried and failed to get comfortable on the couch as you waited for the time to pass and this “dinner date” to be done and over with.

#dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!biker bucky #dark!biker!bucky #dark!bucky x curvy!reader #dark!bucky x plus size!reader #dark!bucky x plus size reader #dark!bucky x chubby!reader #pwyc series #soft!dark bucky x reader #soft!dark bucky #dark bucky #dark bucky x reader

[dr-donogood]

Hey! Idk if this still interests you or not but I saw your post saying Richtofen isn’t a n@zi

I also believe this and have done a lot of research but I think I have trouble with finding sources as I haven’t been able to find anything that shows that he is against fascism + hates it, which makes it difficult to argue that he isn’t one when talking to others about it.

Do you have proof or some sort of instance that either states or hints towards this that could help with the argument that he is against n@zis?

I’d appreciate any info you give!

Hello anon! Oh wow It has been a hot second since I've Codsed my Zombies. I'm not sure how much you know already. So I'll just go down the list of things I remeber! And i'll make this a bit beginner freindly, just in case anyone needs to show this to someone.

Also feel free to add to it!!! Or feel free to point out if I misspoke it HAS been a bit...

1) For starters, although the lore reason for Richtofen's outfit is unknown (most anything i could say here would be pure speculation and HC), we do know that he was originally just a re-used asset from the main game. He comes from the villian character Heinrich Amsel. When COD Zombies (previously Nazi Zombies) first started out, all the characters were blank slate re-used and slightly recolored assets. They ofc later gave them all names and stories (although testing the waters at first, a lot of early story got ret-conned. Such as Richtofen being a back ally surgeon.) But they unfortunately never re-designed him outside of removing the swastika :( but I also belive it's important beacuse I feel like it's one of the only things ppl bring up when the try and say Richtofen is a nazi, and I feel like it holds no weight beacuse of these things.

(Here is Heinrich Amsel. As u can see, clearly where Richtofen's original model comes from.)

2) lore stuff is dificult to pile evidance for due to how the lore in the game itself is presented. If you want the freshest and best sources (aside from meticulously beating every easter egg and finding all the secrets) YouTube videos with the quotes/Easter eggs/secrets are your best bet aside from going in game and grabbing them yourself. I can't particularly remeber what exsact maps may be able to help you. Aside from Classified!

It's just generally a real important part of the basic lore that Richtofen isn't a Nazi and hates them. It's kinda what kicks off....everything that happend. Im sure anyone could get this information from any reliable Cod Zombies lore video (i uhhh don't know which ones are reliable i haven't watched any! Probably check out Mr.RoflWaffles?). For starters, Richtofen was always a spy. He worked for the Illuminati before Maxis asked him to join Group 935, and Richtofen only joined so he could feed information back to the Illuminati. It's also important to note that Group 935 was not originally associated with Nazis. Maxis made a deal with the nazis without anyone's permission (funding and test subjects in exchange for weapons and super soldiers.) And that was one of many things that pissed Richtofen off so badly that he gathered everyone up to make a secret section of Group 935, that both worked with the allies, and planned on killing off Maxis. (Ofc his goal was later shifted and corupted by the Apothicons. But this is about how Richtofen isn't a Nazi, not questioning him as a dubious person. There was also all of the moon shit, Maxis not caring about Richtofen's experiments, a whole boat load of resons that Richtofen wanted that man dead.)

(Also. Richtofen never fought in ww2 and ww2 is already over by the time the zombie breakout happens.)

Here is a link to the Film Reels in Classified, many of which talk about how Richtofen was working against Maxis (and the nazis) and even has some verbal confirmation from Richtofen about his distaste for nazis.

Also here is also the Kronorium! As far as I know, it should still be a reliable sorce! (Like i said, it's been a while). And I think it's a bit better than the wiki (which still says his nationality is nazi german...instead of just saying he's german....) there is plenty of stuff in the interactive book that explains

https://kronorium.com/

2) here are some instances of his voice actor, Nolan North, confirming that he isn't a Nazi! (Thank you @jamieaiken919 for digging these up for me!!!)

And did that's kinda all I have for now! Like I said anyone is free to add!

#cod zombies #edward richtofen #tw nazi #nazi tw #man i made that original post when i was 13-14ish that was a while ago #i was also kinda cringe as shit back then but at least i was right about COD Zombies!!!

[inlovewithpandora]

Hi again! Hru? ☆

Just wondering, when you have the time ofc, can you write a story where Y/n gets hurt and it's a lil severe (u can make up how!) So when Roxto finds her, he scolds her a little but ends up treating her and gives her some affection? , So, small lil fluff ! ☆

Hope you see this and if you do I hope you have a great morning! I love ur stories and the way you write.

Bye! ☆

Hey! Thank you sending this request I hope it meets your expectations💗! (Sorry it took me so long to get to it😭)

- Requests are open (please read rules prior to requesting)

Navigation || Masterlist || Taglist

- Infuriated-

Pairing: Agedup! Rotxo x Fem! Metkayina Mate! Reader

Details: ⬇️

- Reader is a warrior and does have some problems controlling her anger (especially when it comes to Amika)

- The character you will be reading about (Amika) will be the antagonist (Reader’s enemy) in this story

- Reader doesn’t like when people talk about Rotxo (or herself) and when they do it triggers her anger

- (Reader is a little crazy but we still love her🤭!)

- Words written like this indicates a flashback

Warnings: Angst, hurt & comfort, fighting/injury, mention of blood, drama and mild swearing

Authors Note: I put a spin on the request so I hope you all like it💗! (I was lowkey nervous about posting this😭)

- if you see any mistakes please excuse them

Word count: 3.8k

Glossary: Yawne - beloved II Iknimaya - rite of passage || Skxawng - idiot, moron || Olo'eyktan - clan leader || Mauri - pods built in the giant mangrove-like trees alongside the shores

I hope you all enjoy💗!

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are highly appreciated💗!

As you and Rotxo were eating lunch he began telling you his plans for the day, "Aonung and I are going hunting in the jungle today" he said as he ate his grilled fish. He's been anticipating on going hunting in the jungle for a while now. "You seem excited!" you say as you look at the wide smile on his face "I am! I've been trying to convince Aonung to come with me for a while and he finally agreed" As both of you continue to talk he begins to ask you about your plans.

"I'm going to the training hall today. Tonowari asked me to come help train some of the young warriors" You tell him before you take a sip of your drink. "Is Amika going to be there?" He asked you with a raised eyebrow "Yeah she is. Why do you ask?" Rotxo just shakes his head while he speaks "Because you know how you two are always at each others throats"

You and Amika have had a combative relationship ever since the two of you became teenagers. You and her always got into arguments about various things and sometimes it got physical. Both of you always knew exactly what to say to make the other tick, you both loved pushing each other's buttons.

Neither of you knew what was the origin of your long-time feud, but both of you knew that you didn't like each other for a reason.

"I know but we haven't argued recently so I think we'll be fine" you say shrugging your shoulders not thinking to much of it. You and her have passed by each other multiple times throughout the village but you never spoke, you just give each other angry glares.

"No I know how you are. If she pushes your buttons you will black out and things will get physical" Rotxo said as he thought about the last altercation you and Amika had.

When you were sitting on the shore, creating a new fish net you heard your name fall from Amika's lips, "I don't know what Rotxo sees in her. When he could have all this" she begins to gesture to her body "He decides to mate with Y/N " she says in a ick tone. You can hear Amika continuously talking about you to her friends which annoys you.

As you try to take the high road and ignore her you can't. You put down your incomplete fish net and walked over to her, "Amika do you have something to say to me because I can hear my name rolling off your tongue every five seconds" you tell her in a snappy tone. Amika begins to laugh right in your face, "Me talk about you? please! I don't even want to hear your name" she tells you and you know she's obviously lying

"Oh so you didn't say how Rotxo could've mated with you and but he instead chose me" you say while mocking her voice and doing the same gestures she did earlier. As Amika's friends watch the two of you argue they began to laugh at how you were making fun of Amika.

"It's true! I don't understand what he sees in a pathetic person like you" she boldly yells which makes you walk closer to her and get in her face "Me Pathetic?! Girl please you really are a skxawng aren't you?!" You say as you begin to laugh "you want to call me pathetic but your the one who came to MY mate's pod crying asking why he didn't chose you AFTER he has declined you many many times" a sly smirk spreads across your face knowing you opened an old wound.

You looked at her friends face expression and see the shocked looks on there faces which told you that they didn't know that happened. "Oh Amika you didn't want to tell your little friends that? Oops my bad" you say sarcastically

Amika balled up her fist and threw a punch toward for face. The punch connected and created a red bruise on your cheek. Once that happened your whole demeanor changed. You swung back and both you began fighting in the sand.

Once people seen both of you fighting they ran over to watch. Warriors came running toward you and pulled you off of her. As they pulled you away from Amika you could see blood dripping down her lips, a red bruise on both of her eyes, and multiple scratches along her body and face. As she sat there crying all you could do was chuckle, you hoped that taught her a lesson to watch her mouth and to not pick a fight with you but knowing Amika you knew that even the worst beating wouldn't get it through her thick skull.

"Rotxo the last fight we had wasn't even that big of a deal" you say waving him off

Rotxo's mouth flew open as he heard you say that, "Not that big a deal?! Amika face was messed up for weeks and she could barely see from how swollen her eyes were!"

"Well she shouldn't have been talking about me, she knows I can get a little crazy" you say with a small smile thinking about how her face contorted every time you threw a punch. ‘Little is a understatement’ Rotxo thought while shaking his head at you before speaking again "Maybe I should come with you and make sure nothing happens" he began contemplating if you could handle being in the same proximity as Amika.

"Rotxo I do not need a babysitter. I know how to control myself" you tell him as you stand up and began grabbing his and your shell plate. "Do you though? Last time the two of you got into an argument it ended in a fight" he began following you throughout the mauri. "Because she started it! She hit me first Rotxo what was I suppose to do let her just hit me?!" You began to raise your voice as your tail starts to swing behind you

"No I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that once she gets under your skin you tend to just act without thinking" Rotxo said in calm voice, trying to not get upset. He knew that if raised his voice like you just did it would only amp you up more so he decided to stay calm.

"I know sometimes I do but it's not my fault! She just, she just... she just makes me so upset!" You say as you begin to rant. "She is always saying something about me or our relationship and it just makes me so mad! She so bitter that she chooses to aggravate me. We've always went back and forth but when she found out we mated it made her more aggressive towards me but it's okay though because she knows I will always be more aggressive" you begin to crack your knuckles thinking about how it would go if you and Amika got into a fight this time around.

You knew that if you ever got into with her again it would get messy and you were prepared for whatever.

Rotxo just sighed hearing your response. "Y/N can you please not fight with her today. I don't want you to get hurt" He walks up to you and you can see his big blue eyes pleading with you

"Okay Rotxo I promise... I won't fight her today..." You mumble out which makes him smile "Good thank you yawne" he gives you a kiss before continuing to help you clean up.

You were going to try your best to control yourself and not let Amika get under your skin. You wanted to keep your word with Rotxo and not disappoint him so you were going to restrain yourself as much as possible.

As your walking to the training hall you can see numerous young warriors sparring with each other. As you watched them it made you think about when you were their age, trying to become the best warrior Awa'atlu had to offer. Once you stepped inside the hall you can see Tonowari walking up to you, "Thank you for coming to help train the young warriors Y/N" he said with a grateful expression

"Oh it's no problem Tonowari I always love coming to help. What do you want me to do first?"

"Can you help them learn how to use a spear. They already know the basics they just need help learning how to use in combat" Tonowari pointed to a group of girls that looked around the ages of fourteen to sixteen. "Of course" you walked over to the group and began to observe them so you could learn their strengths and weaknesses.

As you continued to watch them one of the girls spoke up, "Are you going to be our teaching us?"

"Yes I will be teaching and helping all of you today" you say as a smile spreads across your face. You always loved to come help the young warriors because they were always determined to soak up knowledge and new techniques.

"Wow! We get one of the best warriors to teach us!" One of the girls said which made all the others agree. As you heard them tell each other different stories about your days as a warrior you began to chuckle.

"Okay girls who's ready to start the lesson?!" You ask with enthusiasm laced in your voice

"We are!" They say as they raise their spears in the air

"Good let's get started!" You grab your spear and begin teaching them different techniques

One hour later

The girls have been picking up on techniques very well. You were proud of them for learning so quickly. As you continued practicing with them you could see Amika out the corner of your eye giving you dirty looks, you almost said something to her but instead you just continued helping your group because you didn't want to start anything. Rotxo words asking you to not get into it with Amika rang in your ears so you restrained yourself.

Amika watched you train your group and she was growing upset because your girls were learning faster and better than her group.

As you returned her a dirty look Tonowari walked in the middle of the training hall and began to speak, "I've been watching all of you and you all are doing very well. When it's time to do your iknimaya all of you will officially become warriors!"

All the young warriors raised their spears in the air and began to let out yelps of excitement. Once they began to quite down Tonowari started speaking again.

"I know all of you have been locking in your skills with using a spear but I want all of you to get use to hand to hand combat as well just in case you lose your weapon or something happens. I want you all to see a real fight so are there any experienced warriors who want to set an example?"

"I will but only if Y/N joins me..." Your ears perk up as you hear your name being called. As you looked around to see who it was you instantly rolled your eyes

Amika pointed her spear at you and everyone began to stare at you waiting for your response. You didn't really want to fight her but you couldn't decline her challenge in front of everyone, "I accept" Na'vi began to erupt in quiet whispers as they watch the two of you walk in to the middle of the floor. They knew both of you have a troubled history so everyone was interested in seeing you two fight.

Tonowari raised an eyebrow, as he heard Amika challenge you. He was one of the people who had to pull you off of Amika when you got into your last altercation so he knew what you were capable of.

"Why did you challenge me?" You asked her since you were honestly curious. "Did you really think I would let you get away with what happened before? That I wouldn't come get my revenge? That I would let it slide that you told my friends something personal?" She snarled at you

"If it was so 'personal' you shouldn't have been talking about me" you said while shrugging your shoulders trying to remain as calm as possible "I was just on the same timing as you" you don't feel a ounce of remorse for what you did at all, you felt like she deserved it after talking about you.

As both of you continued talking it was become more and more heated. As Tonowari watched both of you he could see the anger bubbling up inside both of you. "I don't think this is a good idea, I will pick different warriors to show an example" he said not wanting this to go the wrong way

"No no Olo'eyktan it's okay, I'll fight her. She wants to pick a fight with me like she always does so I'll give it to her" you say with a smirk on your face

Tonowari steps back hesitantly and let's both of you fight. What you didn't know is that he sent one of the warriors to the jungle to get Rotxo and bring him the training hall. He knew this probably wasn't going to end well so he wanted your mate to come as soon as possible.

You and Amika began circling each other while hissing angrily. Amika is the first to throw a punch and both of you begin to fight. You two have tried to throw shots at each other but both of you block each other's attempts. As the fight continues you make one blow and hit Amika in the shoulder. She groans out in pain but she continues to fight, you make sure to make a small hit but nothing to much to injure her to much.

Amika realizes how concentrated you are so she decides to try and throw you off your game, "Tell Rotxo I miss him" she says with a smirk. You knew she was trying to distract you so you tried to tune her out and focus on the fight.

Amika thought 'throwing you off your game' would make you distracted and vulnerable enough for her to get some hits in so she kept pestering you.

As the fight progressed you threw a punch at her but she dodged it and threw a harder punch at you.

"Shit..." you mumble out as you bend over slightly and hold your stomach. Amika watched you with a smirk on her face as she feels like she just accomplished something, "Is the 'mighty warrior' not feeling well? Did I hit you too hard?" She says in a sarcastic caring tone.

You were trying not to hurt her and here she was intentionally going farther than just a little sparring. You knew by the smirk on her face she was trying to do more than just a little example fight for the young warriors.

"Amika is this how you wanna play? Throw illegal shots? You know you stomach shots are against the rules!" You yell at her as you began to stand back up straight

"I know that's why I did it, I want this to be just like when we fought in the sand. I want this to get bloody, I want to reciprocate the same pain you gave me when you attacked me at the shore weeks ago" She said raising her voice for everyone in the hall to hear

Everyone around the hall was intensely listening to both of you argue, "Attack you?! Are you delusional? You threw the first punch at me! You know what, I've been sparing your weak ass because my mate told me to but you're really pushing my buttons right now!" You say as you feel yourself grow angry as you pointed your finger in her face

"Since we're talking about Rotxo tell him to come by my mauri tonight, I'll show him what being with a REAL woman is like. I know he's tired of going to bed unsatisfied every night" Amika said with a malicious laugh knowing that she pushed you over the edge.

Everyone in the training hall mouths went agape, they were taken aback by the nasty comment she just made toward you. You were shocked as well, you knew she would say slick things but this... this was below the belt.

Your breathing began to get heavier and your eyes went from a beautiful blue to pitch black. Adrenaline ran through your body as you begin to ball up your fists. Your whole demeanor began to change and everyone could tell including Amika. You could see the look in her eye and tell she was growing fearful even though she tried to keep up her 'tough' act.

She walked up to you and punch you right in the nose, when her fist made impact you could hear a small crack. Instead of you groaning out in pain you began to let out a dark laugh which made everyone look at you like you were crazy, "your going to regret doing that, your going to wish that you didn't pick this fight with me" you say as a evil smirk spread across your face

Without saying another word you draw your arm back punch her in the face so hard she stumbles back and falls onto the ground. You grab her, raising her off the ground and began punching her repeatedly.

All you could see is red, all you were focused on was her, all you could hear was her words swarming around your head that you couldn't please your mate and that you were inadequate. She knew Rotxo was something that triggered this side of you so you don't know why she even did it and then for her say that in front of all these people including children was just weird to you.

As you continued making blows to her face and body you couldn't stop, the only way you could stop is if someone pulled you off of her. Amika tried to get some hits in and she did but they were nothing compared to the damage you were doing to her.

Every time you hit her your goal was to hear something crack, you wanted to see crimson liquid fall onto your hands from causing her a injury.

You were so focused on Amika you didn't even realize Rotxo walked into the training hall.

"Y/N! STOP!" Rotxo yelled trying to get your attention

You couldn't even hear him, you were to focused on the task at hand. The next thing you felt was a pair of hands wrapped around your waist, "LET GO OF ME!" You yell out trying to get out of the persons grasp and make your way back to Amika

"Yawne relax it is me" when you heard Rotxo voice it snapped you back into reality. You looked down and saw Amika on the floor curled up in a ball. Your eyes went back to their natural color and your body became less tense. He noticed how you demeanor changed and how your body relaxed so he let you go.

Before you left with Rotxo you needed to tell Amika one last thing.

You crouched down to her level and looked her in the eye, "You better not say some stupid ass shit like that again. This is your only warning, your lucky Rotxo pulled me off of your skxawng ass because I was this close to caving your head in. If you pull something like this again I will beat you until your soul meets Eywa, try me if you want to" you spat at her viciously. When you stood up you slap her in the face with your tail and began walking back toward Rotxo.

Rotxo grabbed you by your wrist (gently of course) and began leading you to your mauri. The walk there was silent, you knew once you got home he was going to be upset because you didn't keep your promise. As you walk inside Rotxo walks in behind you and closes the entrance curtain. Rotxo goes on the opposite side of the mauri and grabs some healing supplies. He walk back in the open area where your standing "sit down" is all he said. You knew he was upset when he only said a few words.

Once you sat down he began cleaning your small wounds and bruises. You didn't even realize your injuries until now because your body isn't running with adrenaline anymore.

Your hands were bruised, your nose was bleeding and a little broken. You also had some minor scratches and your stomach had a bruise on it from when Amika punched you. When Rotxo began putting a salve on your bruise you winced from the pain. Rotxo eyes softened as he watched your face contort from the pain but he was still upset with you.

As Rotxo continued healing your wounds he still hasn't said anything so you decided to break the silence, "Rotxo I know your mad but-"

"Yes I am mad! You promised me you wouldn't fight her and you did! I didn't want to see you hurt and that's exactly what happened! Look at you with all of these injuries!" He scolded as he continued ranting

As you heard him your ears fell flat, you hated that you made him upset. "Rotxo I'm sorry I didn't want to fight her but she just pushed me, she crossed the line this time"

When he heard you say that he became curious, "what do you mean? What did she do?" He asked as he sat down next you wanting to hear every detail

You explained everything to him. You told him how she was making dirty looks, how she challenged you, that disrespectful comment, and how she punched you in the nose.

"Rotxo I tried to control myself as much as possible, I really did but she push me to the limit. Saying that I wasn't a real women, that I couldn't please you it infuriated me. All I could see red, I-I just blacked out"

"I can't believe she said and did all that! If I would've known I would've continued letting you beat her to a pulp"

He took a small breath before continuing to speak

"I'm sorry yawne, I should've listened to your reasoning before I got upset. I just started getting upset before I even made sure you were okay" he grab your hand, gliding his thumb over your teal skin as he looked at you with apologetic eyes.

"It's okay Rotxo, I understand why you got upset. I'm okay, my body hurts a little but I'll be fine. I know you worry about me and my anger and I promise I'll get it under control"

"I know you will" he says as he plants a kiss on your forehead. "Now let's finish getting you patched up, okay?" He picks up the healing supplies and starts back tending to your wounds.

Previous work

I hope you enjoyed💗!

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are highly appreciated💗!

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#❖ — 🌳: 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑨 𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑵𝑮 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑻.! #❖ — 🪸: 𝑾𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑺 𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺.! #anger issues #tw blo0d #fighting #tw brusies #tw anger #avatar fanfiction #avatar james cameron #avatar fandom #avatar the way of water #atwow x y/n #rotxo x reader #atwow rotxo #avatar rotxo #rotxo fic #rotxo x y/n #Rotxo angst #rotxo fanfiction #tonowari #rotxo x metkayina fem! reader #metkayina clan #rotxo hurt/comfort