guess who’s having thoughts about the birdhouse again
please free me it rewired my brain
Okay so idk how to start this, but I was just thinking about the was it a dream, was it not thing. q!Phil is unreliable in this situation, it fucked him over a lot and we can see that he doesn’t fucking know for sure either, he just went with it not being real
Now i’m not gonna pretend like I know which it is, I just want to point out silly things for both
First off, if it was real, it has a solid proof. Pretty sure Fit and Tubbo checked all of Phil’s house, even where he woke up, and he wasn’t there. Also, I’ve seen somewhere about the headcanon that Cucurocho can control dreams, which could also work heavily here, and explain some sentiments
Now for the it was actually a dream part, there isn’t as reliable proof, but oh god the possible angst that could come from this
When you dream, like literally not like aspirations, you are asleep, vulnerable. I think the bird house showed some of q!Phil’s most vulnerable moments. He sounded so defeated when Cucurocho showed up
Okay yadayada rambles, now for the angst
He dreamt that Tallulah wrote him a letter (didn’t know that when I watched it and for months after didn’t as well), with cords, where her and Chayanne could be. It was the best thing that could’ve happened to him. Missa came back, his kids sent him a letter. He just had to travel lightly and not tell anyone, and he would see them again
Then he was trapped, which we know for one thing, he doesn’t like. Look at his Hardcore world, his canonical dreams. It’s open, and he’s free, but his dream turned into a nightmare, being locked by a person we know he doesn’t like. The feds literally clipped his wings, being trapped by them if this was a dream was probably an amplified version of his emotions regarding that matter
Also for the it was real thing, he had a dream inside a dream, which was weird and knew where to go when he woke up, but bro also was in different clothes when he woke up for real
anyways those are my silly rambles
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hylia design! Not 100% satisfied with her yet, i would like to make alterations but designing tires me out so bad, she’s staying like this for now.
my mindset:
- need her to be huge
- she’s gotta be some sort of harpy or bird thing
- she has to be colored like a goddess plume
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Everyone please clap!!! I found Abdirak in the goblin camp!!!
I completely missed him in my first playthrough bcs i was overhwelmed by the sheer amount of npcs at the goblin camp (also Volo was right next to him so that prob caught my attention). But so many peopl liked him so much i was determined to find him this time around.
And im glad i did! He was a treat! Marrow is a freak who enjoys roughness so of course he was down to get hurt but of course he had to be a tough guy about it. As a barbarian, you get to demand Abdirak hurt you more and each time you do it, not only is he super into it, but the dc gets gradually lower. I think it starts at 15 and by the end its a 5 lmao
I interpreted that as Abdirak being skeptical at first that this complete stranger can take all the pain they claim and isnt just grandstanding. But when he realises that no, he actually can take it and more, he just get so excited.
He actually thanked Marrow at the end (which was nice of him) every companion present was super awkward about it afterwards lmao ok Marrow tells everyone he has violent urges and longs to bathe in blood and everyone is like nbd but the moment he reveals himself to be a painslut THATS when things get awkward? I see how it is
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Ugh, the lightning as Payu tells him they're just senior and junior and Rain's tiny little heartbroken face and the fear written across him and the way he starts to smile, starts to ask if he's joking and then just drops it entirely because he can't bear to even ask. And then the storm clears but Rain still deserves to be annoyed because that was mean teasing.
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For once I just wanna be able to lose my shit and scream and sob like i've been killed 7 million times and death is standing over me, telling me that this is my afterlife now, that the pain of living then dying never amounting to anything and being forgotten overlooked and misinterpreted is the curse of humanity
but nOO it''s always, 'You gotta be the bigger person!' 'You have to stay calm and not say anything you'll regret!!" while the other person doesn't have such divine ties holding them back from ripping into your soul and trying to destroy everything they can, all while expecting me to rebuild those fragments again and again instantly while not losing my shit
But I can't lose my shit because even after giving my all to try and help others i'll still always be inherently evil and bad, such is the life of the souls of the damned
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