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divinerapturesys · 7 months

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Welcome to my Ted Talk about AsPD, or Antisocial Personality Disorder, which the internet likes to coin as sociopath 👌🏻 if you don’t like long infodumps about stigmatized mental disorders from someone who is diagnosed, move on.

Quick toxic rundown: People with AsPD are generally characterized as emotionless, violent, manipulative abusers who kill animals and like to make other people their bitches. The biggest pet peeve we have is the emotionless, sadistic and abusive generalization.

Personally, we are highly neurotic, with highs and lows of: depression, frantic drive, self abuse tactics, chronic fear, lapses of rejection, overwhelming over-analyzation, grey area thinking, false goods and false bads, ultimatums, obsessive compulsive behavior, harsh self demands, and irritability.

AsPD is a disorder that is caused primarily (according to current research) by trauma and abuse in childhood; most notably being emotional neglect and absent caregivers that cause a child to have emotional shutdowns and repression episodes in an attempt to self soothe. Primary caregivers who do not bond with their children are also a factor. Children learn how to behave from those around them. If a primary caregiver is emotionally distant and unavailable, children will learn that is normal behavior and that’s how people are. If a primary caregiver does not provide empathy and sympathy during moments of distress and fear, children will learn that aloofness and disregard of others feelings is normal behavior. If a primary caregiver does not keep a child safe, children will learn that they should not prioritize their own safety or the safety of others. You can find my follow up post regarding this here.

Neglected and abused children often act out trying to get attention and help, often acting out in bad ways because they lack the ability to articulate what they’re feeling and what is happening to them. The pipeline for AsPD typically is: Oppositional Defiance Disorder as a child, Conduct Disorder as a teen, AsPD as an adult. There are a lot of warning signs cueing that AsPD is becoming a risk for development, but often kids do not have a support system to help negate it as it’s their support system that is usually a factor in its creation.

Being AsPD is like being an emotional La Croix 70% of the time. If you’re depressed, then it’s like someone in the other room has depression and is telling you about it. The other 30% of the time, if you’re depressed, your brain doesn’t understand how to handle it so it’s an ultimatum between doing something drastic to remove the Trigger or ignoring and dissociating for days on end.

People with AsPD are very good at ignoring things. Honestly it’s problematic as fuck but it’s not hard to ignore major issues when you just, don’t care. It’s not in the terms of being cruel or making ourselves not care, but the fact that finding the emotional willpower is so far out of our feasible reach we don’t do it. This causes us to piss people off because we don’t have the capacity to care as much as they want us to, even if we can and do to an extent.

Think of it this way: empathy/sympathy is a deep tub of water that everyone has. They can easily fill their measuring cup for the needed amount of empathy without any issues and it’s easy for them. People with AsPD don’t have a tub of water. We have shallow skillet. When we try to dip our cup to fill it, we can’t, it always comes up short and it is difficult to get any water in it as there is no room for the cup to dive. Our ability to care is limited because we do not have the same emotional resources everyone else does.

❌ False Positives & False Negatives ❌

I operate on what I’ve learned are called false positives and false negatives. These are things that are trained into the brain from an early age based off of childhood trauma and other factors. False positives are a distorted version of why we do something to help ourself and for our own good, meanwhile a false negative is something we do because it’s a threat, or based out of fear.

❌ Some of my false positives:

- It is good to be afraid of nothing

- It is good to adapt to someone’s personality if they are stronger than you

- It is good to isolate yourself

- It is good to be a silver tongue because you can get into any place you want

- It is good to become a social chameleon and shape yourself to whatever those around you need/want most, because then you have no chance of being abandoned

❌ Some of my false negatives, which can explain the false positives as well as core beliefs:

- it is bad to be afraid, if I am afraid then I am vulnerable and it can be used against me

- It is bad to be emotional or show concern for others emotions because they do not care for mine

- It is bad to be able to be exploited, because I believe it is everywhere

- It is bad to allow myself to be bored, because boredom begets bad thoughts and no one can or wants to help me when I spiral

- It is bad to not shape yourself to the social circle, because people quickly grow tired of those who do not match them perfectly and being discarded means I failed

My core beliefs can be viewed as the root for the false positives and negatives, because they are based on the core of trauma, abuse and neglect. They come from patterns and instances that make someone with AsPD become the opposite of what they experienced:

- eat or be eaten

- If I don’t show that my bite is worse than my bark, I will be taken advantage of and I must remain on top because the ones on top are safe

- I must look out for myself because nobody will do it for me

- It doesn’t matter what happens to me, therefore it doesn’t matter what people think of me

- If I cannot do something well, then I should not do it at all

- If you are dependent on others for emotional and mental well being, you are weak, therefore I must isolate myself to avoid becoming codependent and a burden and useless

- If I can handle the stress of a situation better than everyone else, therefore I will keep the problem (financial, emotional, mental, etc) to myself to reduce chances of being abandoned due to failure of perfection

People with AsPD are hard to get along with. We often:

- are always anticipating a fight

- lack respect for authority

- ignore social structures to an extent

- tendency to lie if it’ll lessen punishment or if we feel the lie is more acceptable than our actions

- limit social support because it’s wrong to be dependent on others

- have an inflated view of our own importance — which turns into a self ridicule for believing someome like me could be found important to others —

- can be rude and inconsiderate of others feelings somewhat unintentionally

- are unable to read the correct social cues in relation to empathy towards people and animals

- am constantly confused by others dependence upon empathy and inability to make desicions from logic based standpoints

We can’t speak for everyone who has AsPD, nor are we saying that no one with AsPD is capable of being a murderer/abuser etc. but we are saying that y’all need to stop automatically classifying someone as a certain “type” as soon as you know about their disorder.

One last thing I do want to point out is that it is not uncommon for people with AsPD to derive some sort of enjoyment in causing harm, doing something illegal, hurting someone or animals, etc. This entirely stems from lack of environmental control as a child. Being able to control what happens to others or being able to control the things you say or do that hurts someone else is a hefty high to get addicted to; it soothes the underlying itch of not being able to control your own trauma and abuse, so in turn you push these behaviors onto others and enjoy it because it gives you a sense of power and control. Some people with AsPD do genuinely love hurting others, and some enjoy hurting others when they believe it’s deserved or their ire has been stoked. Some enjoy causing pain to those they think deserve it, and others don’t care who they hurt as long as they feel like they’re in control of the situation.

Hope this have some insight into AsPD 🤙🏻 if y’all have any questions, shoot.

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cherryblossomcrime · 22 days

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#cherry blossom crime #collage #mental health #low empathy #no empathy #actually npd #npd safe #npd positivity #npd culture is #cluster b safe #npd #cluster b #actually cluster b #aspd safe #aspd #antisocial personality disorder #antisocial pd #narcissistic personality disorder #actually narcissistic

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solitaryschizoid · 2 months

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Cluster B Culture is knowing you will never be able to fully enjoy true crime because pretty much all true crime creators are constantly throwing around the words "psychopathic" "psycho" "sociopathic" and "narcissistic" as if they're being paid for every ableist insult they can come up with and pin them on perpetrators like an armchair diagnosis right after calling them evil and demonic as if they're synonyms for personality disorders

#actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #npd safe #actually narcissistic #npd #narcissism #npd culture is #actually cluster b #cluster b #cluster b safe #aspd safe #antisocial pd #antisocial personality disorder #aspd

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autopsyfreak · 21 days

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being incapable of guilt and having someone try to manipulate you via guilt-tripping is so funny.

because they’ll just be like ‘i’ll kms if you ____’ and it’s just ok? that’s your decision, not my issue.

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thecandyispoisoned · 2 years

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Excuse my lack of response, you just said something that my brain decided is an attack now I hate you until further notice and I'd rather not talk to you because if I do I might say something hurtful and I'm trying to convince myself that I'm a good person

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moonlit-dreamers · 8 months

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hey im doing some research on cluster B personality disorders rn and i want to hear some ppls experiences theyve had with their disorders

researching with websites can only get you so far and its upsetting to see most of them frame ppl like us as monsters so i wanna hear ppls personal experiences

tho im mainly focusing on cluster B any other clusters can respond as i want to learn about them as much as i can

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tombfreak · 2 months

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Why can't minors be diagnosed with ASPD?

Well, partially because its written right into the DSM-5. Any doctor in their right mind wouldn't diagnose anyone under 18 with antisocial personality disorder. But why is that? (TLDR at the end)

Most minors who exhibit dysfunctional behavioural issues will go on to be diagnosed with conduct disorder (CD). Having a history of conduct disorder symptoms in childhood is necessary for an ASPD diagnosis. If theres trouble, theres a cause, and in medical practice, we strive to find ways to treat the causes of trouble.

Professionals diagnose someone with a disorder for the sole purpose of treating them. We diagnose someone with cancer so we know to give them chemotherapy, we diagnose someone with schizophrenia so we know to give them antipsychotics instead of stimulants.

Up to 50% of minors with CD will go on to develop ASPD. The reason why we don't diagnose ASPD in minors, is because the progression of conduct issues in childhood -> ASPD is preventable. Did you know that 92% of kids with conduct issues improved their symptoms because their parents took parenting classes? Once someones symptoms gets to the developmental point of being as severe as ASPD, their symptoms are ingrained in their personality, beliefs, and behaviour. They wont be able to be treated by having their parents go to classes.

We diagnose minors with CD instead of ASPD because we treat minors with behavioural issues by looking at their parents and the issues in their life that may be causing them to act out (which is, as I said, most likely their parents.) ASPD isn't necessarily treated that way. The goal is to stop minors from progressing into the severity of ASPD, not to diagnose them with it right off the bat when we know for a fact it can be prevented.

TLDR; Conduct disorder can progress into ASPD, but ASPD cant progress into conduct disorder. We diagnose minors with CD because we want to catch the symptoms progressing into more severe territories before it happens. The treatment for the two disorders are different.

#opinion #aspd #antisocial personality disorder #aspd awareness #aspd things #aspd positivity #actually aspd #conduct disorder #psychology #cluster b pds #cluster b #cluster b awareness #personality disorder #antisocial pd

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mischiefmanifold · 18 days

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I've been wanting to talk more about my ASPD and the symptoms that I experience because of it, but it's been hard for me to explain in a way that feels right to me. Part of it might be anxiety about how others will take what I'm saying and potential misinterpretation, but I think a big part of it is that these symptoms are really not socially acceptable (which is kind of the point).

And while I feel that it's important to discuss these things, a lot of people will have negative knee-jerk reactions to hearing us talk about them. I think maybe that's what I'm worried about, but I don't know.

#there's also how I often don't feel like a “real” pwASPD #because I experience a LOT of anxiety and I'm extremely neurotic #aspd #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #antisocial pd #actually antisocial

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themorrtuary · 9 months

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Note to self: Don't make posts during symptom flares because you'll regret it later. Or you won't. But in either case, it's bad for your perfect online internet persona.

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divinerapturesys · 7 months

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I didn’t expect my last AsPD post to blow up so here’s another infodump about it rooted in my own personal experiences

let’s get into fucking PARENTS

aka “primary caregivers”

I touched based on this a little bit on my last post which you can find here

“AsPD is a disorder that is caused primarily (according to current research) by trauma and abuse in childhood; most notably being emotional neglect and absent caregivers that cause a child to have emotional shutdowns and repression episodes in an attempt to self soothe. Primary caregivers who do not bond with their children are also a factor. Children learn how to behave from those around them. If a primary caregiver is emotionally distant and unavailable, children will learn that is normal behavior and that’s how people are. If a primary caregiver does not provide empathy and sympathy during moments of distress and fear, children will learn that aloofness and disregard of others feelings is normal behavior. If a primary caregiver does not keep a child safe, children will learn that they should not prioritize their own safety.”

So let’s break this down:

❌ “Primary caregivers who do not bond with their children are also a factor”

- bonding with an infant is incredibly important; this builds the first imprints of safety and security into a child; when a caregiver consistently and positively responds to an infants needs, this creates attachment and trust.

- Babies are inherently going to try to initiate a bond with their primary caregivers; crying, eye contact, cuddling, grabbing, all of these are ways an infant is trying to connect; these are natural cues asking for comfort and safety

- Not being given those causes children to start out with an unstable baseline; it has been proven repeatedly via research that children who are not held and comforted during the first stages of infancy are more likely to struggle with relationships and struggle with appropriately expressing emotions

🍓 Personal experience:

I did not bond with almost any of my primary caregivers (both bio and adoptive). To my knowledge, I was heavily abused, trafficked and starved the first 18 months of my life before CPS stepped in after I almost died. Being so neglected and left to self soothe, I learned from the start that no one cared for me and that I couldn’t depend on anyone but myself, ever, even in my most vulnerable moments, because when I was at my most vulnerable stage, I was not cared for or protected and was even taken advantage of by my primary caregivers.

❌ “If a primary caregiver is emotionally distant and unavailable, children will learn that is normal behavior and that’s how people are.”

- this is pretty explanatory I think but I’ll still go into it

- children are mimics and copycats; they learn how to act and think based on who they’re with the most

- Primary caregivers who are distant to their children unknowingly ingrain the concept that distance is safety, and that being unavailable is normal, and that it’s a way to be strong

- Children will begin to expect adults to not respond emotionally to them, and will similarly begin to limit their own emotional responses to match their caregivers in an attempt to connect and mirror

🍓 Personal experience:

My adoptive mom was very distant; I was homeschooled until I was 9, my dad worked full time and my mom was a sahm. However she spent most of here time handling their business. Which meant I was left to my own devices, every day, for the majority of the time. I vividly remember that in order to spend time with my mother, I had to write a note asking for her to pick a time slot to hang out and sign off on it. She would then show up at the allotted time and we would do whatever the activity was, and then she’d go back to the other room and I would once again be left alone. Even being homeschooled, I was alone. She taught me skeletons of workbooks and I figured the rest out myself. I learned once again that even when I needed guidance, I was expected to be an adult and figure it out, and if I did, I was praised for competence. If I failed, I was disciplined accordingly. It was very apparent to me as a kid that I needed to be entirely self sustainable, in every way, if I wanted to stay alive and not be drowned in feeling unloved.

❌ “If a primary caregiver does not provide empathy and sympathy during moments of distress and fear, children will learn that aloofness and disregard of others feelings is normal behavior.”

- again, pretty straightforward but I digress

- Children need to be given support and love when they are having emotional episodes

- Children do not know how to emotionally regulate themsleves, they don’t know how to help themselves and they get overwhelmed just like adults when they’re scared and unable to understand what’s happening

- Primary caregivers who do not help set the foundation for how a child should positively navigate emotional disregulation set them up to fail

- Children will think that ignoring others pain is correct behavior, and that disregarding how they make others feel is okay as well

🍓 Personal experience:

My mom thought that beating my crying out of me would for some reason solve the issue. Instead of spanking me a few times to get the point across of the transgression, she would often “spank” (imo it was getting beat) me until whatever she was using broke, or until I stopped crying. Unfortunately this caused me to eventually just.. not cry. I learned very quickly that being emotional and showing emotional distress would not get me comfort and safety, and instead usually caused me to have more pain and to be ridiculed for being emotional. I was basically conditioned into emotional shutdowns, and rewarded for having them. I would get praised for being mature if I stopped crying or having emotional reactions to situations. So I did. I experienced a lot of sensory issues and trauma responses as a child, which caused a lot of meltdowns, and those were consistently met with lack of comfort and connection.

❌ “If a primary caregiver does not keep a child safe, children will learn that they should not prioritize their own safety.”

- this mostly fits in with risk taking behavior tbh

- Children learn self worth and value from adults; if that’s not important and/or disregarded, it’s never going to be a priority and will have to be forcibly learned later on in life

- Children learn that if their primary caregiver does not prioritize their safety, that means they can’t rely on them when they’re in pain, being abused by someone else, or even hurting themselves

- This leads to self destructive and risk taking behaviors; they don’t value their own safety, and they don’t value the safety of others because they were not taught that it’s important

🍓 Personal experience:

Touching back on my early childhood; I was definitely not kept safe and unfortunately I was not kept safe in my adoptive family either; I feel like for a long period of time, I genuinely did not think my safety was important (if I even knew what that meant) and therefore it didn’t matter what I did because if the people who said they loved me the most didn’t want to protect me, why should I try to protect myself? This led to a lot of drugs, self harm, a lot of klepto shit, getting into fights, a lot of sexual abuse, etc, all because I genuinely did not understand what safety was, or what it meant. I put other kids in dangerous situations often because I didn’t value their safety either. I thought no one did.

All in all, interactions with primary caregivers builds the foundation for how your brain builds it’s emotional house.

Unfortunately for people with AsPD, we had to build our own emotional foundation as kids and it was done very shittily bc we were little kids and not fucking architects.

Thank you for coming to yet another infodump abt this disorder lmao I hope it made literally any sense bc I’m writing this at 4am and I am very tired :)

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weirdcollective · 1 year

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HAHAHAHA OK made by us

#aspd #actually aspd #aspd safe #aspd memes #aspd mood #low empathy #no empathy #low/no empathy #immorality #amorality #aspd positivity #antisocial personality disorder #antisocial pd #personality disorders #personality disorder #aspd feels #mad pride flags #mad pride #mad pride flag

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bpdcodone · 6 months

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My ASPD has been so bad lately makes me feel not human I feel like I can’t connect with anyone on a deep caring level like I can when my BPD is going crazy I hate how once my BPD become more manageable my ASPD went up and I can’t even be close to anyone anymore

#cluster b #aspd culture is #aspd awareness #aspd tag #aspd mood #aspd thoughts #aspd feels #aspd safe #actually aspd #aspd vent #antisocial pd #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #antisocial personality disorder

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autopsyfreak · 21 days

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another day, another argument with someone who claims to be a victim of ‘narcissistic abuse’.

grow up.

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clusterrune · 10 months

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aspd terms

so i want to talk about something

i know we have favourite person for bpd and chosen person for npd, the person or people who are the object of our obsession and we view as equal to ourselves respectively (not the *best* description but the basic idea in a short go)

i dont know if theres already terms like that for aspd but id like to give it a go because its heavily impacting my relationships with this "social circle" i have.

i think as a person with antisocial personality disorder, i find it hard and even scary to talk to anyone outside this sphere i have, ranging from having extremely low to no empathy towards people outside the sphere and feeling almost hyperempathy to people further into the sphere. theres certain people i keep in it, people who are both my fp's and cp's, and anyone else i struggle to talk to or otherwise avoid mainly out of discomfort.

i propose we have a term for people we prefer to talk to, a term better than just "social circle". like contact person or interactive person,

a person or people you feel most comfortable conversing with, most of your interactions with people happen with them if any and anyone outside them seems discomforting, bland, dull and/or possibly even scary.

talking to people outside my interactive person/people can cause me terrible anxiety and when something feels off about my conversations with my ip i tend to isolate myself because my brain thinks thats how things will fix.

this is of course heavily co-morbid with my bpd and npd but i feel aspd should have a term as well, because this part i experience very frequently with such a shifting social circle.

this post is less to coin the term(s) more so to open the discussion on the topic so please feel free to add on if you have aspd

but do not derail the post from the topic of aspd and terms we can use for our experience!

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thecandyispoisoned · 2 years

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Upsetting people and not knowing why or how but having to apologise anyway because I'm horrid at interpreting emotions and social cues my beloved

#aspd #aspd tag #actually aspd #aspd feels #antisocial #aspd thoughts #actuallyaspd #antisocial pd

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empyrangel · 1 year

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Did we make creatures for cluster b’s like the tbh creature because if not that needs to be a thing

#constellation of words ✨#cluster b #bpd #borderline pd #borderline personality disorder #aspd #antisocial pd #antisocial personality disorder #hpd #histrionic pd #histrionic personality disorder #npd #narcissistic pd #narcissistic personality disorder #tbh creature #autism creature

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