#anyone else yearning really hard rn
Note
What is the love story between al/lupa? I think they’re super cute!
Omg thank you so much for asking 🥺🥺🥺 sorry if I don’t get to this ASAP I’m on a film set rn but lemme see if I can recap briefly- edit: i started writing this like two weeks ago, exited out of the ap, and now i have to rewrite it all oops lol
OKAY (under the readmore):
All the main five meet at the same time! In the beginning, Al’s a ghost and Lupa’s been living on her own for a while. They start out on somewhat rocky footing, with Al disapproving of a lot of what Lupa does and Lupa brushing Al’s opinions off. They view the world in such completely different ways that they have no choice but to clash tbh. Al is scared at how unbothered and rough Lupa is, and Lupa hates how much Al stresses responsibility and moral obligation. Of course, at their cores, Lupa is actually very hurt and alone and Al is (very badly) repressing like a million desires and emotions, one of those being an extremely frustrating and all-consuming crush on the werewolf girl.
I don’t know how much I want to spoil tbh but to try and condense it: They find some common ground and an affection for each other during the first season, bordering on potential romantic interest. Unfortunately, they’re separated rather traumatically. Lupa believes Al has died (for good this time), and Al leaves Lupa convincing herself that it’s best she not know the truth. They find other about 6 months later (second season), each having “moved on” (hint: not really). There’s a lot of pent-up resentment for a while, along with some genuine efforts at friendship, but it feels like it’ll never be the right moment, so they’re stuck in this kind of settled state. It’s not until Lupa breaks up with Buster that her own feelings for Al sneak up and like. fuckin sucker punch her. Al still has her own yearning, but she’s matured to the point where being around Lupa doesn’t make her feel like she’s about to have a nervous breakdown at any given second. this time around, it’s Lupa’s hot mess summer. and idrk how to surmise the third season because both of them are really just playing a stomach-lurching game of tug o war, where they feel so much for the other it makes them sick, but they also try to avoid it, but they also know they’d do anything for each other, and maybe it’s best to leave it at that?
so like, duh, they sleep with each other bc they’re both 20-somethings and painfully in love. and then they swear they won’t do it again, and of course that’s impossible. it’s a case of “this is a very bad idea. i love you too much to do this to you.” and then immediately breaking that promise. through this they’re also carrying each other through fights with a terrifying wannabe god (villain of s3), and their own individual struggles with monsterhood.
the thing that solidifies their bond is simply the fact that they can, throughout it all, be themselves with each other. when they’re together it feels like they actually exist as people in that moment, and no part of them is denied. they allow each other rage and grief and hate and all the nasty stuff; there’s a total understanding between them. it’s a little addictive to be so unashamed, essentially. so they do get together, after these years of change and tumult and hard-wrought argument ironed into genuine friendship and a sort of roaring, aching care for the other. in the end, it’s still Al and Lupa, annoying the shit out of each other, but they wouldn’t want it with anyone else.
you know the poem about the tiger that breaks from the cage? do you know what it means to want to be another person just hold them from the inside? like how death doesn’t stop us from loving other people, but in fact makes it possible to love this way in the first place. that’s the relationship between al and lupa. anyways i like them a lot here’s their playlist goodbye <3
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reasons #1-26 Why I am fighting for my physical and mental recovery:
1. Because my functional abilities have a lot of room for improvement. I can gain more access to the world so it would be silly not to
2. There are others with less access to personal freedom and they deserve my advocacy and I don't have spoons for that work right now
3. I want to actually play a game AND finish it AND enjoy it the whole way through
4. I don't want to remain so dependent on people or systems of power that aren't good for me. Especially not without a voice to advocate for myself
5. I want to travel AND by myself AND not get burnt out by the break in routine
6. I want to hike the Appalachian trail
7. I want to be able to fund people's crowdfunding campaigns
8. I want to become a really good Foster Parent. So I wanna be qualified to handle the kid's needs AND be capable of supporting them even after they leave AND have the capacity to adopt if needed AND support the parents/kids for reunification if ever desired and.... all that is a lot. I can't even take care of a dog rn. But I can learn and grow and gain the skills I need.
9. I need to divest. Which means I have to be brave enough to face the hard stuff AND kind enough to forgive mistakes AND disciplined enough to follow through with change even when it gets tough AND honest with myself when I'm doing wrong AND strong enough to stand against others AND.....
10. I need the spoons to build more spoons
11. I want to help build a self sufficient urban community as a safe haven for the disabled & divergent. So I want to be capable of managing a homestead AND solving complex accessibility puzzles AND raising funding
12. I want to playfully wrestle my lover
13. I want to enjoy sex. To laugh, gasp, be untriggered, unrushed. To experience new depths and new understanding
14. I'm curious about who I can become. Who I am for that matter
15. I don't want to ever harm anyone else again. And when I do I want to be capable of recognizing it. And when I don't I want to be able to listen when someone tells me I did wrong. No matter what I want to be capable of repairing the harm I have done. I want to end cycles
16. I want to gain health certifications. Personal training. Massage Therapy. Physical Therapy Assistant. Nutritionist. Nursing. I want to never stop gaining credentials that will inform and improve my ability to help others
17. I want to learn to prioritize my own needs. To never wonder if my cup is half full or half empty because I know I've already done what I need to fill it. I want to set a boundary the moment I notice discomfort and to do it with love.
18. I want to learn how to dance. To intimately know the boundaries of my body. To be in such close relationship with it that I have fluid access to movements that are enjoyable to me.
19. I want to go to a theme park without worrying about accessibility. Because I'm already experienced with all my needs and prepared to have them accommodated
20. I want to be able to cuddle for more than a few minutes
21. I want to be a good friend. To maintain a healthy friendship with boundaries, emotional intimacy, trust, communication, growth, joy. To build a container capable of holding every part of us.
22. I want to be a qualified crisis supporter for respite. Capable of holding space for someone in the midst of a mental crisis free from any carceral "support."
23. I have unique skills that deserve to be witnessed. Skills that are both known and unknown to me.
24. I'm honestly tired of being dissociated so dang much. I want to be present all the time. I want to notice the little things and feel grateful for them
25. I want to feel connected to other humans. I don't like feeling so deeply misunderstood and alone. And I know the connection needs to grow from me.
26. I want to be a vagabond like the crusty kids who came through with stories galore back when I was a sad little homebum. I wanna catch trains, hitch rides and yearn under a different bridge every week
#Recovery#healing journey#because I need some personal reminders for bad days#fibromyalgia#ptsd#recovery toolbox
1 note
·
View note
Text
going on a date this weekend and I'm nervous/happy/scared but mostly i am annoyed that my intrusive thoughts keep yelling at me to "call him your babygirl" because How Do I Explain To My Brain that that is unacceptable and inappropriate behavior on a first date
Like, it is because of my heavy internet brainrot but CMONNNNNNN can we NOT
If he turns out to be submissive and breedable down the line, then maybe we can consider it BUT NOT RIGHT NOW!!!!!! (for legal reasons that is a comment made to lighten the mood).
In all seriousness, the guy seems nice and he's very sweet, so there's that at least.
My honest to god expectations are on the goddamn floor bcus if i don't get murdered then i will call it a successful date. That's it.
But i just had a good cry rn bcus i kept thinking about how the guy isn't the person i love and it made me so heartbroken.
But that's why we're on the dating scene! To move on! To be more respectful to myself! To get experience dating and feel like a mature adult! To grow up! To stop feeling so goddamn scared of socializing outside my usual circle! To live life! To feel fucking alive!
Live Laugh Love babey! I am so sad when i think about how i am planning to yearn for the rest of my life!
But also this is so goddamn scary! What if i really like this guy!!!! When the fuck do i tell him I'm not a woman!!!!!! He will fucking hate me!!!!!!!!!! He will be disgusted, or on maybe the nicest scenario, be like "huh sorry I'm not into that, it was nice to have some dates with you though, no hard feelings" which Understandable BUT I DONT WANNA GO THROUGH THAT
I hate this i hate this im so nervous and scared and angry and most of all I Feel So Alone
I didn't mean for this to turn into a vent, i just wanted to gush about how excited i was but
But also I'm having Big Bpd Feelings About This
I'm tired of feeling like I'll never be loved and wanted
I want to feel wanted
Don't we all?
I'm doing this to myself for my own good.
I cant keep yearning pointlessly.
Right. Right. Right. We can't keep doing this snaily.
Our promise of happiness... Means working towards our own happiness.
Our happiness. My happiness. We deserve that too. You deserve that too.
We deserve to be selfish too. In fact, it's not selfish. We're not doing anything wrong.
We're doing normal things.
It's okay to take your bags and seek comfort somewhere else.
Is it?
I dont
I don't want anyone else but them.
Isn't that the problem? Is it a problem?
I want to go to see the stars too. The sky lighting up with flashes of light. I want to hold someone's hand as I do so.
I don't want to be left in the dark anymore, forgotten and thrown away.
It's okay. I'm giving you permission.
You'll go on a date and you'll have fun, and if things go right, you'll get the most out of this relationship and you'll get to feel happy for a while. And isn't that what we want? To feel happy for a little bit?
That's the problem.
You see this as A Phase we'll move on from. As we await patiently for our love to be returned someday.
Foolish, really.
Foolish, truly.
I don't know how to talk about this.
Here's
Here's the thing.
It's true you know. I'd be happy just by their side forever. Platonic forever. Friends forever and ever, nothing to separate us anymore, just growing old together as platonic pals forever.
But here's another truth: i don't want that if that means i will never be sure of their feelings.
Do you love me? Do you hate me? Are you disgusted by me, and that's why you don't love me? Is it because I'm ugly? That should be a valid answer. "You're ugly and thus not my type" that's valid, that's expected, that's understandable.
But i want to know. I need to know.
I want to hug them so badly. But they don't like that. Makes me feel dirty. It makes me feel disgusting. I'm a touchy person.
Maybe i used to be a touchy person. I hugged a lot. I like getting hugged a lot, but i don't touch people a lot nowadays if i can help it.
But i love getting hugged by people i like.
I can't keep living knowing they'd be disgusted by my hugs. Because Maybe they just don't like being touched. Incredibly understandable.
But i don't know that, so. Maybe i am the problem. Maybe they dont like my hugs especifically.
I don't want them to hate me for how much i yearn to hold them.
But that's why im doing this, to kill for once my feelings for them and move on. Because this yearning is painful and makes me feel so alone.
And when my feelings are dead and gone, then maybe i can finally stand by their side and be their friend forever. Just their friend forever.
And friends get to live different lives apart from one another.
I hate that, for some reason.
Let's go home. Let's go home. I don't have a home anymore, so Let's build a home yeah? Yeah? Isn't that incredibly selfish and depraved?
To want someone that feels like home?
I keep crying even though i started writing this in a much better mood than this one. I was excited about the weekend. Now I'm just.
Well, right now, i am deeply melancholic. But I'll be okay. I just needed to get this one out of my system.
I will be okay.
It's okay to mourn your feelings, snaily. I'm glad you sit with them and write them for me, so i can understand them.
You're loved snaily.
Im sorry you dont feel that way because of your bpd. Please be kinder to yourself. Your friends love you. And one day you'll find someone that loves every part of you. Down to the ugliest, most vulnerable parts of you. And they'll be home. And find home in you too.
For now, let's be strong yes? Let me hold your hand through this.
We'll be okay. These kind of heartaches are normal. Let them pass through you. This is so very human of you, how wonderful.
You're wonderful for getting to experience love in many facets. Even this, is a part of feeling love and loving. We're glad you get to love so much. What a tender soul you are.
I love you, you know that? I'll always love you. This week was hard, right? We deserve a little break. To relax.
Tomorrow we'll get to enjoy a good day. Groceries sure are a chore, but we'll get to eat a little snack. See? You're feeling better already. I love you. Thanks for taking the time to write.
I love you. I love you, i love you. Right now and in the future when you're looking back through these entries, i want you to know that i love you and I'm glad you exist.
I love you snaily from the future, snaily from the present, and snaily from the past.
I love you.
It's late, let's put on a calming video and fall asleep while we listen to it. It'll be a nice way to end the day.
Good night my beloved, good night
1 note
·
View note
Text
idk if ill msg u on ur bday anymore im super conflicted abt it and U in general and i dont think i like should try and get back into ur life but i also like idk i wanna check in plus like i dont want u to think im gonna forget jt or somethin so idk idk idk idk what im gonna do idk if i want to know u anymore but idk if i like can live anymore without u so idk what im even doing ahahahah
idk everything abt everything sucks i hate u but i miss u and when i think abt u i can feel my chest rotting out but i also like just continuously yearn for having u back and i like every other day am so completely suicidal that i feel like i meed to msg u just to get some sort of stability thru u back but idk if thats what i Need but i also know i am like a complete mess i have nothing but u were never going to be able to be anything to me anyways and so like
idk anything… i feel u are a lost cause but i dont want to think that but i think i Should think that but then i know i have like nothing .. so….. i think my life wouldve been better if i did kms like 4 years ago or if all my psychosis incidents actually did make me schizophrenic already cause atleast then maybe i could like find sollace in knowing i am completey fucked and will never have a life and itll be okay because i was crazy but rn i like am too vlose to being like not mentally fucked but also so incredibly burdened by my own mind that i am like
Always on the cusp of it and so i like i feel like a boat just too big and light to ever get sucked into a whirlpool but just stuck spinning and the only way oht would be to try and swim but thats like a 99% chance of me dying and i like as much as id love to escape life and knowing i will never be able to retain any real human contact or relationships and never be able to really wver feel happy and content because of how i always fuck up every thing i have with anyone i would rather atleast like feel like maybe oneday ill have something but it feels impossible for me to ever like
be anything, either for myself or for someone else. i am too depressed and completely checked out in life to make any of my own dreams a reality and everytime im with someone and want to help make their dreams something i find a way to like fumble hard and end up alone
only reason i havent commited soduko yet is social anxiety of finding a bridge and idk what my suicide note would be to ppl, idk if id even wanna leave my family anything because i am sort of checked out of them emotionally but u and blake like atleast Knew me but idk what id say to either of u, thanks for atleast talking to me ahahahah but also fuck u both for not being perfect which is like INSANE mentality but like i also am completely unperfect and cant even like say anything so idk idk idk, idek what id say to blake he was atleast always a good person i just fucked up a lot and wouldnt settle down but for U misha like, idk.
i hate u but love u.. and ik if i told u i was gonna kms itd fuck u up or atleast id Hope ud be able to feel somethin abt it, hope u stleast stalk my accts or something and arent just like completey detatched feom the past 2 years already, i hope u miss me too.. i hope u feel something too, i hope u arent moved on i just want to know u loved me its been ao long since i felt any affection from u even before we ended everything
why couldnt u just talk abt ur peoblems anymore u said it was a bad thing that u didnt feel like u clukd talk to me but like that was 100% all u all u had to ever do was Try to talk abt it but u just clammed up like u alway do and never opened vack up and ig just locked urself away by ur own anxiety and ur problems just compiled and u never like tries to resolve shit and ik i wasnt oerfect at all like helping u and Us get thru stuff sometimes but thats cause all ur problems were always like.
i want the freedom of being able to be with other ppl ahahahaha and like then u harked on me like i was gonna be the one to cheat and shit when like ALL ur problems was ALWAYS like U wanting to.. and its so fucking stupid like bro why do u think i was so angry abt our breakup and ur reasons cause like all u ever wanted to do was be away from me and then u were like Wow.. i cant believe u talked to blake.. bro thats cause u like made it impossible to talk abt anything with u, u stopped being a person to me u stopped like even trying anymore and then tried to make it up as me having failed and thats why we ended when u just couldnt care enough to get over urself and ur stupid shit to just open up to me anymore and just like wanting to try and thats what i hate abt u u always made me feel like i was mever good enough to even talk to u and then ud just do the worst shit and always cause ruckus in our relationship and then u stopped even wanting to try n resolve shit because it was always U at the center of the problems because U couldnt fucking control urself u always did so much shot without thinking and IIII always felt like the impulsive one even tho u would just like ausefhhgsghh why fi i love u why fo i miss u why cant i just be done with this shit and accept that there was no way wed ever work in a million years why cant i stop being tortured why cant i just be dead
0 notes
Text
Me before Coronavirus: Man I'm NEVER gonna date, I don't need anyone! I'm gonna focus on me and my education!
Me now that I'm quarentining and can't date: Is it... worth it? To get a dating app? Just to, talk to people? Why am I not dating someone? I wish I was dating someone.
#anyone else yearning really hard rn#I'm fuckin oof man#thinkin about girls#lesblog#that good shit#i'm lonely#sapphic#sapphism#sappho#thirsty#sad lesbian#wlw vibes#wlw mood#wlw post#wlw pride#wlw yearning#im cryin#i want a gf#its illegal that i don't have a gf tbh
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
I had to make this post after seeing this amazing post because this needs to be said for all new viewers of TDJ.
I can actually confirm that the writer did intend for Yohan and Gaon’s relationship to be gay.
Ji Sung said their relationship was one of “seduction”. At the Devil Judge press-con, he confirmed that his role was that of Mephistopheles (around the 23 min mark but I’m at work and can’t pinpoint rn loL) who “seduces” Gaon who is Faust. I’ve analyzed this in more detail in this post.
Writer Moon Yoo Seok has been very open about his influences in crafting Yohan and Gaon’s relationship being: Beauty and the Beast, Goethe’s Faust, and the movie Let The Right One In .
All these influences are either romantic or homoerotic. All of them.
The writer has also confirmed that Gaon occupies a traditionally female character and feminine gender role. He’s used tropes that we normally only see in heterosexual romances for Yohan and Gaon’s romance. A non-exhaustive list:
living together
snooping through the mysterious house of the man who’s whisked you away
undressing your partner and wound-tending
making him food, refusing let anyone eat unless said man returns
understanding him like no other, being the only one who sees through his facade to the loneliness within
choosing him over everyone else (ep 8 and then end of 15)
trying to die for him (twice)
defending him to the het love/past love, everyone around really
PINING, yearning (Gaon literally looked at the bed in ep 16 and thought back to shirtless Yohan okay)
taking care of each other
being vulnerable before and for each other
oogling him shirtless (both of them did this)
hand holding
DEEP. STARES.
sexy bomb defusal
love triangles (K and Soohyun)
Homosexuality is so taboo in Korea that the closest we’ve gotten to proper rep is the wlw couple from Nevertheless and Kim Seo Hyung’s character from Mine, and even then that’s because men find it easier to see women in love with each other than men being in love. And men finance drama production.
Writer Moon Yooseok (who has 25 years of writing experience) has literally done everything he can to get a queer story out there. Heck he’s even including stuff in the TDJ comic (spanking, anyone?) that wouldn’t fly on TV because he has more freedom there.
Ji Sung and Jinyoung have known this from the start as well (that poster photoshoot), and it’s hard not to know that your character is gay when they’re staring at another for 95% of the show and undressing and oogling each other, or when the ending is 2 minutes of sappy staring. They knew.
The director in episode 8′s bts at 6:04 as Jinyoung and Jisung rehearse Gaon ditching Min Jung Ho: “Gaon’s become cute now that Yohan’s here”.
Jinyoung: nods.
Me: Okay we’re all in agreement clearly.
Rather than new fans being disappointed for it not being gay enough, I hope they can uplift this for what it is: a serious attempt to bring a gorgeous romance onscreen. Writer Moon Yoo Seok really said lawful husbands. He’s been saying it from the beginning.
#he really killed the only het character and said what more do you want#soohyun did deserve better though but that's another conversation#the devil judge#this needs to be said#ji sung#jinyoung#moon yooseok#tropes are a thing#kang yohan#kim gaon#yohan x gaon#gahan#lawful husbands
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
Dear sweet Ella. I was driving down the road the other day listening to Fine Line as I do and I had a thought: you know the way Harry sounds on most of the songs on FL? Kind of ghostly, choral, doubled or tripled? Like how the production of the songs makes it sound like there’s at least three of him singing most of the time? I noticed that there are (I think???) only two songs that don’t have that effect at least at some point in the song, where it sounds like it’s only his voice singing alone, the whole time: She and Falling. Me as ni.
Almost all of the other songs on the record are sung entirely in this kind of echoey-sounding mode—like, you can hear his voice solo in places, but not once in Falling nor She do I hear anyone harmonizing with Harry. Just him.
Was wondering…….. what you made of that? My first thought was just our good old friend vulnerability, Harry standing alone without layers of harmony to soften his voice—which would make a lot of sense for the content of both songs, but I’m wondering if there’s more—bc I’m a one trick pony, so it’s always my move to make shit about Harry’s relationship to himself, especially if I imagine his own voice is one of the the ones he’s harmonizing with in the recording studio, singing with him in a way he relies more on his bandmembers to do onstage.
ohhhh meg you always feed me with the best food for thought ily <333333
i noticed before, as well, that falling is such an exception on the album, where his voice sounds a lot more clear than on the other songs. like this is something he needed to be raw, honest. just him.
and then to have she fit into that same kind of category? much, much to think about. bc she is gender (and) identity. oBviOuSLy. this is about how someone sees themselves vs. how they're seen by others, or even how they portray themselves to others bc that's what they're expected to be. i always hear the vocals in she as all those different layers to that protagonist, to harry, sounding off together. (this one is especially strong in the bridge, where harry's main voice singing the melody is low, and the harmony is done in falsetto, particularly clear in the lines "lives for the memory, a woman who's just in his head" and "while he plays pretend"). and if i wanna get really way too deep into it: it almost sounds like someone talking to themselves, in a way, like where the echo of "she" in the chorus could have been done by backup vocals, it's all harry. he's echoing his own words, he's echoing his own thoughts, this is all in his head. there is no other woman in his bed, there is no woman singing along with him. it's all harry. so, the absence of anyone else singing on that track is significant in that sense. almost like harry wanted to be very clear: don't get this twisted. this is not a love song. this isn't me yearning for some woman that's out there. this is me yearning for the woman in me
some interesting visuals from tour rn
i think we've all figured out now that falling is so very layered and can be interpreted from left and right, but definitely also from a self-searching angle. (what am i now? what if I’m someone I don’t want around? what if i'm out? etc.) for the choice of vocals to then just be him, like in she, is powerful.
stylistically, i think it's perfect for falling that it's only harry. this is his story; it's him taking a long, hard look in the mirror. there's no one else with him there, there's no one there having this conversation with him. again, it's harry talking to himself, letting his thoughts, doubts, bounce off the walls in a room where it's just him. i definitely think it's first and foremost to sound stripped. naked. just harry. and there's just something inherently intimate and personal about harmonising with yourself? to have to match yourself, to have to follow some direction you yourself previously recorded. that the only one who can get it wrong is you. that when you get it right, it's also all your achievement to celebrate. and it's also lonely. there's no one to sing with you. or it's empowering: i don't need someone to sing with me.
and then i can hardly think of this without crying: forward that to him singing it live for thousands and them singing every word back to him, creating the exact opposite effect of the original track............... like no wonder he gets choked up every time i'd be sobbing
in short, i think it all comes down to the intimacy in these songs, and harry choosing to keep them close. they needed to be only him, and be done exactly like he wanted them to be, so he did it all himself. and he needed to show that these are his, this is where he's laid bare. even though she is sadly so often interpreted wrongly. but maybe the playful tone of the song enables that, and somewhere h even aimed for that. some other way of hiding, still
and yk to compare it all to the rest of the album and how so often it sounds hazy, dreamy, underwater.;....... and then these songs don't.............................
like, obviously for the love songs it's clear: it's all bring out the big guns, the choirs, the strings, trumpets, all of it. let everyone fucking know i'm in love. let my voice sound layered and echoey like a day on the water on a sweltering summer day
for lights up, the most obviously straightforward song about identity and self-discovery, then to have multiple layers and even a gospel choir makes the experience of that song almost religious. a celebration. harry didn't want to sound vulnerable in his journey, he wanted to sound confident, challenging.
and then for fine line, at the end, it all comes together. the layers of harry, the backup vocals, the choirs, the instruments, all of it. it's the culmination of the album, and it has all of its elements. fragile harry, layered harry, falsetto harry, etcetcetc ivegoneoffaboutthissomanytimesalreadyitseems
so yeah, meg. those are my thoughts on that lksjhgkjdhtgkjfhr i have no idea if that even answers the question in a way that you wanted it to go but my brain just went all of it all at once go
#and hit publish without thinking twice#fitting this on coming out day tbh#added a lil lights up gif for the occasion#thank you meg <3#love seeing you in my inbox#my monday was more thoughtful and grounded thanks to this so thank you again#discourse#she#falling#cause of death: fine line#lp
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok I hate to say it cause ngl it is a little embarrassing to be really into markiplier egos fandom as well as listening to Disney’s tangled adventure music because I feel like I’m a teenager again BUT
Does anyone else get major Damien and Darkiplier vibes from Nothing Left To Loose (song from Rapunzels tangled adventure and I really recommend the song is fucking good)
Idk it just feels like D/A trying to reach out to Dark and it backfires tbh that’s just the vibe I get
I mean,,,
“The path of hate is a dangerous track. You take one step and it’s hard to turn back”
“Don’t you see this path your on leaves a permanent mark. It feels good at first, then it slowly turns dark.”
“Then you’ll see you’ll lose your faith and lose your soul, ‘til you lose complete control”
“Cass, trust me. Becoming the villain isn’t the answer”
And then Cass’ lines;
“The path I’m on is a path paved in black. I’m taking that road and I’m not looking back, each twist and each turn leads straight where I’m yearning to go”
“Yes, it’s true, my path is dark but I see where it ends. My rivals will fall as my power ascends. Despise me, that’s fine. I’m taking what’s mine even so”
IM TAKING WHATS MINE????
Tho I don’t think dark really desires power and more desires revenge but not all lyrics match,,,
AND THIS NEXT PART GOT ME CAUSE LIKE,?? LOST THE GAME??? “THIS FATE WAS MINE TO CHOOSE” LIFE IS OURS TO CHOOSE/IM TIRED OF GIVING PEOPLE A CHOICE ANYONE??
“Not like you. You lost your nerve, you lost the game. But you and I, we’re not the same. I’m not lost, this fate was mine to choose”
GAMES WERE ALWAYS HIS FORTE HELLO??? I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE A GOOD GAME?? ACTORS GAME???????????????? Even tho it wasn’t darks to choose it was kinda chosen for him by actor BUT not all lyrics gotta match up since this song is literally completely unrelated to markiplier but Yknow I love finding meaning in shit where theres nothing so I’m going for it.
That and college is getting really stressful so just let me have this.
ANYWAYS
“So I chose to lose my doubts and lose my chains. Lose each weakness that remains. Now that I have nothing left to loose”
“I only want my rightful dues”
This song got me thinking ok, let me live. I just wanted to share my shit and leave cause that’s what you do on tumblr. Please don’t start discourse; I am a peaceful soul. I cannot handle internet drama on a Saturday night unless I have alcohol and I have none rn so don’t even start.
#markiplier#markiplier egos#darkiplier#wkm#I guess?#idk tell me if I need to delete any tags that are unrelated to this post#cause I hate including characters or things unrelated#it just makes me irritated when I’m trying to search up a specific character#and some post about some different character shows up#which is why I’m not tagging Celine#cause she was not mentioned#but she is amazing we love you girl 💙#even if you are a cheater 😬#ANYWAYS#wkm y/n#cause they are indeed in this#so yes#who killed markiplier
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
Ooh i’m so excited rn omg...what i need rn is more of aizawa and villian!soulmate reader. They just keep acting like a brat until aizawa takes them home and punishes them X3
Prelude - shoutout to y’all for being so patient with me! appreciate it so so much. Also, there was like one other ask that I wanted to include here but I couldn’t find it, so rip. Also, @bbygirlpastel ty for the “Villain? I’ll show you a villain.”
Pairing - Yandere Aizawa X Reader
Warnings - dub con, non con, NSFW, overstimulation, no actual penetration. Creepy Aizawa, vibrators, uhhh literally nothing good here. Dead dove man, if you look at a dead bird and KNOW it’ll taste disgusting and make you sick to your stomach.... DON’T FUCKIN EAT THE BIRD. listen to the warnings my dudes!!
Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/6p8eEdiZLKJH8tcjGZuNTK?si=9r_2kgkoR56h9UkBCybxLw
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maybe he wouldn’t be this infatuated, this utterly obsessed, this angry with you if you had just given in from the start.
You weren’t even a high-priority villain, just some desperate nighttime thug that preyed on innocent bystanders. Snatching wallets, causing a ruckus, stealing from thrift stores or gas stations a couple of times a week. You were a nuisance, but not big enough to catch Aizawa’s attention - not until you stole a women’s watch right in front of him on the street while he was buying a snack from a food-cart before his shift started.
And yeah, Aizawa tried to keep a low profile, not flaunt his hero status in order to effectively capture and subdue villains, but surely you would’ve noticed the man clad in black, obviously sporting hero gear standing nearby. But you didn’t, and then he was grabbing your shoulder so he could drag you to the police station. Aizawa had been surprised when you wiggled out of his grip and took off, and damn, you were fast.
The game of cat-and-mouse had begun, and while the underground hero failed to catch you that night (and every subsequent night he saw you out on the streets) he was determined to do so. Well, maybe not /as/ determined. When it came to you, the man was easily distracted.
The clothes you wore were baggy, hid your form effectively. But if someone looked close enough, they could notice the curves of your body, especially as you ran, evading capture. Aizawa was loathe to admit at first, but it was tantalizing watching you flee from him.
He beat himself up over it. He’d always had a solid grasp of self-control, and usually he felt no attraction to his targets, even if they were wearing the skimpiest of outfits. One time he had turned in a villain wearing nothing but pasties over her breasts and panties (her quirk was seduction-based), and he hadn’t felt anything but utter boredom as he filled out paperwork at the police station while they found her some actual clothes. It probably had something to do with the “soulmate” quirk he had been hit with once, but Aizawa had never really put much faith in it, nor thought about it extensively. He had always had a bit more self control than other men.
So for him to almost have feelings for some low-life idiot? It made his skin burn with irritation (and maybe something else, but he wasn’t ever going to address that). It didn’t make any sense.
The fact that it didn’t make any sense did not stop his brain from plastering not-suitable-for-work thoughts about you whenever he ran upon you committing some minor crime. It was infuriating.
The satisfaction the man felt from finally pinning you down, taking advantage of a small stumble, tackling you down and pressing you into the cold concrete of the rooftop was probably unholy. It just felt so damn good, catching you, forcing you to submit, getting you underneath him. When he had flipped you onto your back, you wouldn’t look at him, just staring off to the side, almost as if you were ashamed.
You should be - stealing from anyone and everyone, being a brat, making Aizawa’s life difficult as you infiltrated every waking moment.
He had started to lecture you, starting out with his usual cool-headed,
unbothered demeanor, but slowly getting more and more annoyed as you still refused to look at him. Pretending he wasn’t there, refusing to listen - Aizawa felt the urge to slap you, just to make you react.
He settled for harshly gripping your chin, forcibly turning your head so he could look at your eyes. Eye contact was an important thing to Aizawa - it was the basis of his quirk, but he wasn’t prepared for the punch to the gut he felt when he looked into yours.
Words escaped him, mouth dropping open, his body frozen. There was - there was something going on. You took advantage of his pause, shoved the man off of you, took off running. Aizawa could do nothing but sit there, staring after your form with his own eyes wide and wondering. What had just happened?
He reflected on the moment for the entire rest of the night, musing over the strange feeling coiled in his stomach, the weird tug in his chest, his brain wanting and desiring and lusting and it was so distracting, he wanted it to stop, but at the same time, he wanted to indulge.
The realization finally hit him - the soulmate quirk he had been hit with, all those long years ago.
Some lady had come up to him while he was shopping, smiling at him toothily before asking him wether he believed in soulmates. He had stared at her for a second, before blankly responding with a curt “no”, turning back to continue browsing the selection of applesauce packets. A hand on his wrist, a burning sensation from his arm to his heart, and then he was rounding on the woman, ready to drag her to the police station for using her quirk in public without a license.
She had just cackled, citing something about soulmates and how he was going to believe now, he’d learn what it would feel like to find your true love when he looked into their eyes. Some sappy, romantic, crazy bullshit that he had ignored and promptly forgotten, before calling the police.
The lady had been deemed mentally ill, driven mad by the loss of her husband in a hero-based accident. Aizawa quickly forgot about the incident.
Aizawa didn’t believe in soulmates, and even if they existed, there was no way in hell that his soulmate would be a villain.
But apparently, the universe did not care about Aizawa’s opinions.
He tried to ignore it, turn a blind eye whenever he saw you sneaking around late at night, would turn and head the other way. But there was no denying the burning flame in his heart, the yearning to see you again, to talk to you, learn about you, what you liked, what you didn’t, where you had grown up, what your aspirations were.
Aizawa hated it.
But he couldn’t ignore it.
The feelings grew and grew, festering in his body like an open wound, infecting his mind, crawling through his veins and slowly seeping into every aspect of his life, until all he could think about was you. The man needed it to stop.
The cat-and-mouse game was picked up again, except this time, Aizawa wasn’t going to give you any opportunities to get away.
You were able to sense the change, could see the rabid look in his eyes when he sought you out for the first time since the night you had slipped out of his grasp. There was something different, and it wasn’t good, it was dangerous.
You managed to dodge him for a time, and some part of Aizawa swelled with pride that his supposed “soulmate” was so clever. The other part of him wanted to break something.
He was almost frightened by the change in him, this volatile anger, the impatience and the lust. That wasn’t who he was, but ever since meeting you, looking into your eyes, it’s what he had become. Maybe if he tracked you down, got close to you, spent some time with you, this needy feeling would go away.
You couldn’t run forever.
Aizawa caught you during the daytime, when both of you were off-guard and not paying attention. It was luck, really, or maybe destiny or fate, that he had looked up to watch as passengers filtered onto the subway. You were wearing the same baggy clothes you always wore, hoodie over your head, earbuds in.
There was a backpack slung over your shoulder, and Aizawa watched you sling it off to place it in your lap as you sat down before the doors closed.
It was easy to follow you home, to the dingy little deathtrap you called your own, on the first floor of an abandoned, moldy motel building. It was even easier to follow you inside, through the broken window , his footsteps undetected through the blare of music in your earbuds.
It was less easy to subdue you, with the desperate fight you put up, trying to kick and punch and scream as soon as Aizawa’s thick arm circled around your throat. Still, the man had been subduing unruly villains for a while now, and it wasn’t hard for him to keep his hold on your smaller from, no matter how you thrashed in his arms.
When you finally passed out from the lack of air in your lungs, Aizawa gently followed you down to the floor, staring at you for a moment (god you were pretty, how had he not noticed how pretty you were?) before looking around the room.
It looked like a regular motel room, except there was no TV, there was signs of rot dotting the walls, and the air smelled decidedly unhealthy. He wrinkled his nose as he took it in - you would be much better living somewhere less unsavory.
Which, Aizawa’s home was perfectly capable of hosting an unwilling guest. Aizawa wasn’t naive enough to think you’d be happy waking up in an unfamiliar room, but he figures it would be better than jail. Like hell was he going to hand you off to the police, not when the ache in his chest was subsiding in your presence, the burning need for something lowering to a slow simmer. Justice be damned, Aizawa was going to be the judge, jury, and executioner in this particular case, and he had yet to decide your fate.
----
“You are insufferable - if you would just give in, everything would feel so much better. Holding out like this is illogical.”
He was tired. Tired of your stubbornness, tired of your refusals, tired of your insults, tired of the way his skin itched and blood boiled every time you spat at him or knocked over the plate of food he brought to you.
When he was met with silence, Aizawa sighed. This was getting old. It had been a month since he’d brought you under his roof, a month of holding back, a month of playing nice, a month of letting you “adjust”. But you hadn’t adjusted, hadn’t even tried, and he was tired.
“You’re only hurting yourself by acting like this.“
“Maybe I wouldn’t have to act like this if you hadn’t kidnapped me.” You spat, glaring daggers at the man.
Aizawa paused, almost humored by your spiteful response. “You would rather I have turned you over to the police? The prison system isn’t kind to pretty little things like you. No matter how tough you pretend to be, you’d be broken in less than a week.”
You scoffed, pulling at the chain that held your ankle to the wall. “As if this is somehow better. You’re a sick man, I hope you choke on your next meal and /die/.”
Aizawa gestured to the room, his patience wearing thin. “I could make it worse.”
And he could. He could take away the thin mattress you were sitting on, shorten your chain so you couldn’t reach the bare-bones bathroom, he could stop feeding you, or make you eat scraps like a dog. Of course, he could make it much better too, but only if you’d stop fighting him at every turn.
“I don’t even know what you want. You’re just an old pervert, you’re no hero. You claim to be good and just, but you’re no better than the villains you put behind bars.”
Within a second, Aizawa was crouched in front of you, gripping your chin, yanking you forward until you could feel his heated breath across your face, could see the tension in his eyes.
“I want you to behave.” He ground out. “I’ve treated you with nothing but civility so far, but if you’re so determined to see me as nothing but a villain, then fine, I’ll show you a villain.”
Aizawa was at the end of his rope. It was uncharacteristic for him to exhibit such anger, such impulses and wild feelings, but when it came to you, Aizawa felt like he was an entirely different person, ruled solely by his instincts.
With a push, you were sprawled onto your back on the mattress, quickly trying to scramble upright, ready for an attack. But Aizawa just watched, letting you panic before you realized he was going to stay put. Well, stay put for a time.
There were some things he needed to go get, to show you how good he had been to you, to prove that he had been nice and accommodating. But if you wanted to play dirty, then Aizawa could play dirty.
He stood, shoving his hands in his pockets, keeping his eyes locked onto your face. You were such a shy thing, barely able to hold eye-contact, always blushing and stammering and fighting when he made you look at him. It wasn’t his fault that your eyes were enchanting, drawing him in like a spell. If he could, Aizawa wouldn’t mind spending a few hours just watching you, watching your eyes take in the world. Of course, that was an illogical desire, but the man found he was having a lot of those these days.
You huffed as you felt him watching you. “You’re a creep.” The man didn’t answer, and you deflated, voice coming out small “Please…. let me go. I won’t like, steal stuff anymore, alright? Just let me go.”
Aizawa could bet that you were scared - after all, you were nothing more than a common crook. It’s probably the first time you’ve ever been held hostage, the first time you’ve been immobilized. You were probably used to intimidation, maybe even abuse - someone living in a rotted, abandoned motel and living off of what they could steal each day probably didn’t have a good story to tell about what had happened to them.
Either way, Aizawa didn’t really care. If it wasn’t for the tearing sensation in his chest when he was away from you for too long, he’d definitely have handed you over to the police by now. It was driving him insane, how he couldn’t focus, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think, couldn’t live now that his mind was constantly occupied with thoughts of you.
When he went out at night, he worried that you would hurt yourself, or escape - get away from him somehow. When he was at home, trying to do the “right” thing and give you space, not touch you, not invade your space, he was bombarded with the single-minded desire of holding you, feeling the warmth of your body against his chest.
It had to stop. He didn’t know how to make it stop.
Aizawa had tried everything, from leaving you alone, to spending time watching you from the other side of the room - the man had even tried to erase the supposed “soulmate” quirk he was infected with by using his own quirk in the bathroom, staring into the mirror. Nothing seemed to help.
He had tried to be nice, he had tried to be good. But there was still the tugging in his chest, the itch he couldn’t scratch when it came to you. He wanted to do so much, but he wasn’t a villain, he wouldn’t force you.
But there lay the problem.
Aizawa wanted to.
He closed the door behind him as he left your room, the “torture chamber” he had said once, deadpanned tiredly in an attempt at a joke. You hadn’t laughed.
The man supposed that this last month had really just been him warring against the dark, whispering corner of his mind that urged him to just take. To do what he wanted, to lay waste, to ravage you in every carnal way he so desired. To force you to lay by his side at night, force you to give him long, loving kisses, force you into domesticity.
Aizawa knew it was wrong. He had tried to ignore that part of him, push it down, focus on the logical solutions he could think of, the ones that kept his actions pure and heroic. But at this point, with you resisting so strongly? How you called him a villain, a pervert, a creep? Why not let the villain inside take a moment in the spotlight.
That’s what he was thinking as he gathered items into his arms from his room, spending hardly any time picking out what he wanted and needed. He’d had so many dreams, so many thoughts of what he would do to you once you finally submit to him. The man had plenty of ideas, especially now that he was deciding to throw his inhibitions out the window.
The fact that you most likely weren’t going to be willing merely meant that Aizawa added a spreader bar and an extra set of cuffs to the growing pile in his arms.
Stepping back into your room was almost thrilling, seeing your eyes snap up, to the bundle of items he held, then at his face. They were so wide, scared, panicked. It was a good look on you honestly, one that Aizawa didn’t mind seeing more often. He was done being the nice guy.
“This is entirely your fault, you know that (Y/N)?” He mused as he strode forward, crouching to set down a towel on the ground, slowly laying each item down onto it. Might as well build up your fear and anticipation.
“If you hadn’t provoked me so, I would’ve been able to be continue holding myself back.” He could hear your breathing pick up as each item was set down, had to fight down a mocking smirk. “You had to be a brat though, egg me on like that. Well, if it’s not apparent by now, you’re probably going to regret that.”
“Please, please, oh god, this-you don’t need to-you-there’s-“
“Didn’t you just accuse me of being a villain? I’m just trying to live up to your expectations here, isn’t that what you want?”
Aizawa finished emptying his arms, then headed towards you, holding the extra pair of cuffs in his hand. He caught your eyes, watching you beg, try to push yourself back into the wall, away from him. There was no doubt that you were terrified, practically having a panic attack as you hyperventilated, eyes darting between Aizawa, the cuffs in his hands, the items on the towel behind him.
It was easy for Aizawa to grab ahold of your already-bound wrists, pulling them down to the ground, right above the top of the mattress. Quickly, one cuff was attached to your wrist, the other cuff slipped through a small, recessed metal ring in the ground.
After you had…. “moved in”, Aizawa had done some renovations. The angle he had you trapped at now kept your arms stretched above your head, immobile and unable to move more than an inch in any direction. It’d be uncomfortable if you were left like that for too long, but Aizawa was still planning on being somewhat merciful today.
You were still babbling quietly, pleading with the man. “You don’t need to do this, please, please please please please-!” You sobbed out the last “please”, trying to wrench your arms free. Of course it was useless, and you were doing nothing but tiring yourself out, but Aizawa didn’t mind.
It was easy to attach the spreader bar to each ankle, despite the way you cried and kicked, ankles slipping out of his grasp a couple times before he could finally pin them down. Aizawa felt eerily calm, patient, but at the same time seething, excited, almost foaming at the mouth for what he knew was to come.
“Struggling won’t achieve anything, but feel free to do so.” He encouraged, shuffling backwards on his knees to look at you, stretched out body on display.
You were still wearing clothes, a thin t-shirt, a pair of loose basketball shorts - all Aizawa’s. He had immediately told you to leave your old clothes outside the bathroom door when you showered the second day after he had captured you.
You had resisted at first, but quickly relented when the man raised an eyebrow, shrugging his shoulders before advancing towards you menacingly. You had gotten the message loud and clear, immediately backing down, agreeing to wear the clothes you were given.
Aizawa retreated to the towel, swiping a pair of scissors off of it. Brandishing them, he snipped them twice in warning. “You might want to be still for this part. I don’t actually want to cut you, so if it happens, it’ll be your fault.”
And then he bent over, carefully snipping the clothes off of your rigid body.
As soon as the last shred of fabric fell away, you breathed in air, immediately letting out a loud, tearful wail. Aizawa felt a twinge of regret, but the quickly-growing bulge in his pants currently outweighed any other feelings he might be having.
Putting the scissors safely out of reach, the man let himself rest back on his heels, surveying your body the way one surveys their food before taking a bite. And oh, was he going to eat you up.
You were writhing, tears falling from yours eyes, still babbling out nonsense as you begged for him to stop, to reconsider, to think about what he was doing.
“I’ve thought about this plenty. It’s called fantasizing.” He murmured, before gently resting his hand against your naked hip.
You spooked like a wild horse, thrashing the second his hand made contact, crying and wailing, shying away from his touch.
Aizawa was glad he had the foresight to bring a gag.
You were so worked up, you didn’t even notice him grabbing it, didn’t register his hand clamping around your jaw, wrenching it open and shoving the ball gag past your teeth. You quickly fought against that too, outright screaming, trying to shake your head, pull away from the hands fastening the strap around your head. But Aizawa was quick, and good with his hands, and your screams became muffled, nothing more than desperate background noise to the defiling of your body.
Resuming his exploration, Aizawa cradled your head in both hands, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. “If you relax, it won’t be as stressful for either of us.”
With another muffled scream, you turned your head, tear-filled eyes glaring at the wall.
“Or you can be a brat.” Aizawa laughed, a sound he wasn’t used to making. “Either way, it’s not gonna change what’s happening.”
Returning to the towel, Aizawa picked up the next couple of items, turning back to see you watching him through teary eyes. He presented the items in his hands, showing them to you. If you were curious, might as well let you see how he was planning to take you apart.
The second your eyes fell onto the lube, the bullet vibrator, the skin-safe tape, you wailed again, closing your eyes in horror, shaking your head. Aizawa breathed out his nose, humored at your terrified reaction. Not so tough when you were tied up, at the mercy of a man, were you?
Your legs were already held apart by the spreader bar, and no matter how you squirmed when Aizawa kneeled next to your hip, you couldn’t close your legs. When Aizawa’s warm hand ghosted over your stomach, you cried behind the gag, and when his hand made contact with your soft pink folds, you absolutely bawled, the sound loud and pitiful even as muffled as they were.
Aizawa wanted to tease, to feel all around, rub against your labia, tickle your clit, skirt around your opening. He let himself indulge a little, before pulling back, squirting out a dollop of lube onto his fingers. When the cold wetness touched you, there was barely any reaction, the way you were already panicking essentially making you loose all feeling.
That was alright, Aizawa knew that would change soon.
He let his hand wander around your entrance, massaging the lube into your skin, taking special care of your clit, your inner labia, the puffy folds. The man got lost in the sensation of your warmth underneath his fingertips, eyes slowly falling shut, a low hum coming from his throat in a natural attempt to soothe you.
The man didn’t know how long he stayed like that, gently massaging wetness onto your skin, humming, but by the time he opened his eyes, your weeping had essentially subsided. You were making cute little sniffling sounds, trying to calm yourself, your own eyes closed, limbs almost relaxed, as if you’d accepted your fate.
When Aizawa took his hand away to reach for the bullet vibe, you barely moved. When he pulled back the lips of your labia, nestling the small, ovular vibrator against your clit, you only flinched. He pinched your labia lips almost painfully, hiding the vibrator underneath them as he pushed it hard onto your clit, before taping thick strips over your skin. When he was done, the vibrator was firmly in place, immovable, covered almost completely by your labia, which in turn was held over the vibe with the skin safe tape.
The vibe was turned on, and Aizawa swore that your back arched so fast and hard he heard it pop. You writhed on the thin mattress, pulling at the chains binding your hands to the floor, trying to turn onto your side, bucking your hips, jerking and twisting this way and that at the overwhelming sensation. Aizawa had never used the bullet vibe on himself, but he’d felt the strength of the vibrations against his hand as he decided on a setting for you, feeling the tingly sensations through your skin through the tape, before kicking it up a few notches.
You were screaming behind the gag - Aizawa guessed you weren’t used to toys, but he felt no remorse. He put a strong hand on your hip, holding you flush to the mattress as your hips moved about wildly.
“This is what a villain would do. They’d tie you up, assault you…. Tear you down and exhaust you until you turn into a broken little cockslut. Aren’t I so much nicer? At least I plan on taking care of you after. Plus, I’ll still lo-“
He cut himself off, grimacing at the words that had almost slipped out. Aizawa wasn’t ready to admit that to himself just yet. He wanted to hold onto the allusion that he could resist you, that he didn’t need you, that you weren’t unequivocally important to him
Not like you were listening.
With a sigh, Aizawa sat back, content to watch you writhe as you wiggled your hips, the movement making your breasts jiggle slightly. Aizawa groaned internally, his erection straining, throbbing inside his pants.
“You’re so beautiful, your body is…. Indescribable really.” The man mumbled, eyes trained on your form. A sheen of sweat was covering your skin, making you shimmer, making you slick. Aizawa’s hands itched as he looked at you, wanting desperately to wrap around your waist, to hold you close as he rut against you. But he wanted to prove a point. He wanted to show you that he could be nice, that he had been treating you good, that you shouldn’t be a childish brat and shout insults at him every day.
But god, was it hard to just sit back and watch you.
He unzipped his pants, reaching past the waistband of both pants and boxers, hissing as he took his erection in hand. He was wet, leaking precum, but did he expect anything else? You were laid out in front of him like a feast, delicious.
You were so overwhelmed by the vibrator strapped to your pussy, you didn’t even notice Aizawa beginning to jerk himself off. It’s probably better that way, he figures - if you realized what he was doing, you’d probably have a fit.
Your cries faded into tearful whimpers, long whines, which then morphed into guilty moans, enjoyment that you couldn’t hide. When you came the first time, Aizawa was watching your body, stroking his cock in time to the way your hips jumped against the vibe.
When you came the second time, hair a mess, Aizawa moaned your name a little, his own cheeks flushed with embarrassment and desire as he squished his thumb against the tip of his cock.
The third time you came, screaming out muffled nonsense, Aizawa couldn’t take it anymore.
He leaned forward, quickly undoing your gag, having to let go of his cock to work on the straps. When the plastic ball was free from your mouth, drool slicked over your chin, gulping breaths being taken, Aizawa surged forward, pressing you back into the mattress as he kissed you hungrily.
You whined into his mouth, naked chest pressed against his shirt, crying in overstimulation as the vibrations between your legs didn’t give up.
“Mhm, you taste-“ The man had broken away from your mouth, only to dive back in again for a quick taste before speaking again. “-so damn good.”
“Aizawa-Aiz-aah! Aah!” You keened, a fourth orgasm washing over you, leaving your nerves tingling, buzzy.
“That’s right, that’s who’s making you feel so good. You feel good, don’t you?” He pressed, crowding closer to you. He was in the process of pushing down his pants, his boxers, kicking them off.
“No, no no no, can’t-can’t-it hurts! Mmmfh-!” You moaned, back arching again.
“Don’t lie. Listen to yourself, you sound like a whore.” Aizawa chuckled breathlessly, turning you slightly onto your side. He was feeling hot, flushed, feverish. He wanted to do so many things - fuck you stupid, cuddle you close, give you warm hugs and kiss your pussy until you ground against his face.
“No I…. I don’t!” You yelped, the way he was positioning you pushing the vibrator into a different position. “Aiz-mmmm, Aizawa! Please-oh god, oh god-oh, please, st-OP!”
A kiss shut you up, Aizawa licking inside your mouth, feeling your saliva smear against his stubbled chin, felt you fighting against your bindings again. Where did you get all the energy?
He didn’t break the kiss to look down, to take himself in hand and guide his cock into the tight plushness of your thighs, right up against your dripping, messy cunt.
When he pushed forward, his mouth fell open. There was so much /pleasure/, he felt dumb, thick-headed and cotton-mouthed. You were so warm, so wet, and the vibrator was still buzzing away happily, pulsating through his cock as it rested against your pussy.
He wanted to cum, right then and there.
Feeling his thick cock pressing between your thighs, you wrenched yourself away from the kiss, whimpering as he pressed his cock up to chase the buzzing sensation, increasing the pressure of the vibe against your skin.
“Wait, ah, wait! Please, no more-mhmm! I’ll-I’ll be gO-od!” You whined, hips bucking again as the feeling built up again.
Aizawa thumbed at the wetness covering your face, trying to wipe away the tears, but simultaneously forcing you to look into his eyes.
“Shh, it’s okay. Let it out, I won’t look, there’s no need-fuck-no need to be embarrassed sweetheart.”
He reassured, knowing you were close to humming again. This time, he didn’t want you to have to finish alone.
With another gentle caress to your cheek, Aizawa grabbed your hips, before smoothly sliding his cock through your thighs, fucking right against your pussy. It felt incredible, better than anything else he’d ever experienced in his sex life - hell, in his entire existence.
Aizawa tried to hold himself back from humping against you, pumping his hips wildly, but he couldn’t stop himself. Not when he was so worked up, not when you were moaning and gasping in his arms, shaking towards another orgasm.
“That’s it, almost there, just a little longer.” He reassured, voice strained and almost cracking in pitch as he neared his end.
“I can’t, I can’t, don’t make me! Don’t-aaah! No, no, plea-SE!”
Your muscles tensed, Aizawa could feel it, your body pressed so tightly against his own. Then you were gone, eyes rolling back, mouth open in a silent gasp, brows furrowed as you were forced into cumming again.
It made Aizawa burst, feeling your thighs tense around his cock, your cunt convulsing, body trembling. He came easily, covering the inside of your thighs with his sticky seed, before quickly pulling himself free.
He had just had an earth-shattering orgasm, but he needed to get you cleaned up. After all, you had just had /several/ earth shattering orgasms.
The vibe was turned off, the tape gently pulled away You flinched at every tug, skin burning with sensitivity, all of your nerves fried and overstimulated.
Tape off, Aizawa reached up and unbound your hands, quickly throwing the vibe and extra set of cuffs back towards the towel (he hoped - his brain wasn’t working well enough to know if he was accurate or not).
Aizawa felt... good, warm inside. He didn’t want to acknowledge the feelings swirling around in his chest, the contentedness that came from just holding you, but he couldn’t exactly deny all of it either.
The two of you sat there, you lost in your own headspace (subspace? Aizawa didn’t know the terms.. but for you, he’d be willing to learn).
“You did so well, look at you.” The man breathed, looking down at your body. Fuck him, even covered in sweat and cum and fluids, you were still the most enticing thing he had ever seen.
You didn’t respond, just occasionally blinking at the ceiling, still as a mouse.
You were submissive and compliant for the time being, not struggling when Aizawa gathered you into his arms, cradled your head to his chest. His heart soared at the physical contact - you hadn’t let him do so much as look at you without yelling or snarking some mean insult. This was progress.
Aizawa kissed the top of your head, noting that the two of you would need a long shower in a bit.
You were so fucked out, Aizawa almost felt a little bad at your disheveled state.
At least he had been merciful this time.
#aizawa#aizawa shouta#shouta aizawa#bnha aizawa#yandere aizawa#aizawa x y/n#creepy aizawa#villain soulmate#au#Yandere bnha#yandere aizawa shouta#yandere shouta aizawa#gross aizawa#yikes yikes yikes#reader insert#oneshot#not continuing#not a fan of soulmates?#but I guess I'm warming up to them lol#gonna do soulmate Oikawa#soon#lol#so yeah I guess it's starting to appeal
443 notes
·
View notes
Note
Who do you think your moots could pull and why?
Alright lets go I have...so many moots and if I forgot u its 300% my bad pls come hit me upside the head, also im bad at these bc I honestly just push my favourite characters onto ppl oops but long assss list below the cut - I love u all
@cafedanslanuit: ok I dont know why, but porco for u my friend. Maybe it’s bc the last fic I read from u was the porco and zeke one? but damn. porco. for sure.
@kmorgzz: MY LIL CINNMON BUN. ok NOT GON LET MYSELF BE SWAYED by ur porco pfp - but i...kuroo. DO U EVEN LIKE HIM?? but I dunno why I CAN SEE IT. ready to fite u but also love cuddles soft friend and that WALL of a man?
@flamingblinglove: U ALREADY KNOW 姐姐 U ALREADY KNOW. OFC U COULD PULL UR FAV flaming boi!!! I love u very much and love him for u!
@alto-march-of-death: AL. AL AL AL AL AL AL AL AL. DO I NEED TO SAY IT. SUGA. FKIN. SUGA. I dont even need to - SUGA. also reiner. But mostly SUGA.
@onwiings: LEN. we havent really chatted before so im sorry if this is real random but for some reason....connie? I DONT KNOW WHY BUT CONNIE FOR SURE.
@boston-bakedbeans: I JUST GET JEAN VIBES. U COULD OUT SNARK HIM ANY DAY
@daddyjackfrost: HANA MY SWEET QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY OVER STUPID VBALL BOYS. I have so many. BUT L? L FOR SURE. u are an intellectual and he would be all :0 while eating his damn cake. ALSO. Bo-bokuto? he could handle ur energy and I would love to see it.
@bellbee: armin vibes. You're just so dang sweet? I think it would be such a good match
@kojinnie: KOJIIIIIN. ZEKE. ZEEEEKKKE. IM SCREAMING THIS. BUT LIKE- NOT THE MEAN EVIL ZEKE. THE SOFT SWEET ONE WHO WILL BRUSH THE HAIR FROM YOUR FACE AND KISS YOUR FOREHEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ZEKE.
@onyxoverride: I was going to say zeke?? t he naaaasty kind of zeke where hes just obsessed with u, but totally not influenced by ur latest posts but MICHE. BIG MANS. also for some reason I bet u smell good. but not in a sweet or delicate way?? I bet u smell really good but in a way ppl cant place? so ppl always ask “what perfume/cologne are you wearing?”
@peachysimp: MY SWEET MICHI 姐!!!! U DESERVE ALL THE LOVE AND CUDDLES IN THE WORLD. im just thinking of a big mans...mmm Reiner? Eren??? no problem for my sweet 姐姐. u can handle em.
@deludedimagines: SORCHAAAAAA MY LOVE. MY DEAR. Levi for FREAKING SURE. AFTER OUR TALK - YOU DESERVE TO GO KAYAKING AND CANOEING WITH HIM. PLEASE.
@aotwrites: iane. love of my life lane. pls drink some water I know ur working v hard. ok but why can I imagine a soft af erwin that u could EASILY pull?? like NO problem. he would be best listener and the shoulder rubs? after a long day?? IANE. PLS.
@plutowrites: PLUTO U KNOW HOW MUCH I FKIN LOVE UR ZEKE SERIES SO IS IT EVE N A QUESTION WHY I THINK YOU COULD GET ZEKE NO PROBLEM??
@gojosweets: SWEEETIIE levi for SURE BC HEALING HANDS IS STUCK IN MY HEAD. u could for sure pull a grumpy injured Levi and make his heart go boink
@hexbestfriend: Sierra my dear. ur other url says it all. but also, a big mans. so....Erwin for sure - I would PAY to see this bc u would have him just so into u and I just...im swooning
@horseanon--simpforall: RACH. DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY. U WRITE THE BEST CUTE SWEET ZEKE. FOR SURE. AND SUGA. U COULD PULL THEM WITHOUT EVEN FKIN TRYING. I love u TOO much
@misskasa: love the new url btw tea??? damn. also Eren. EREN. LONG HAIRED MAN BUN BUT NICE NOT PROBLEMATIC EREN. u deserve it all
@thebubblybakery: MY DEAR. MY DEAAAARRR ur url is way too cute and for SURE. Levi. for SURE NOT A DOUBT IN MY MIND. bake him lil treats and he’ll chop the fingers off anyone who tries to steal em from him
@yearning-moon: omg my new obsession is ur writing, but u would have no problem pulling our collective fav zhongli. no problem whatsoever im just gone u write him so well I cry every single time.
@lookslikeleese: I MET U THRU SUGA AND I WILL NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT. suga no problem. ERen. no problem. find u a friend that can do both. thats u.
@doulcha: another easily Levi pull - honestly if theres anything I learned on this website, its that everyone has big brain and is cute as a damn button and
@anlian-aishang: MY SWEET DARLING. U COULD HAVE ANYONE. HONESTLY. UR A DAMN INTELLECTUAL, BEAUTIIIIIFUL BEYOND WORDS AND JUST HNG I LVE U SM. LEVI. ERWIN (NO ARGUMENTS I WOULD PAY TO SEE U WITH ERWIN BC WOOOOW HOW SWEET) also u already know how much I love the idea of u with Farlan U COULD HAVE ANYONE U WANT AND U KNOW IT.
@starstruckkittensweets: another sweET DARLING WHO COULD GET ANYONE SHE WANTED. ABSOLUTELY ANYONE but Levi. Levi FOR DAMN SURE BC HOW COULD I NOT. erwin too? absolutely.
@unloved-cadillac: CADDY my DEAR is another Levi puller for SURE - I feel like u can match his snarky replies? and it would just be a lot of grEAT banter back and forth and phew
@katsuhera: MY PENGUIN LOVING FRIEND another Levi lover who could get him with NO problem whatsoever. pls take his grumpy ass to the aquarium
@therealvalkyrie: my wife my love my DEAREST. I mean we’re already married x4? 5? times?? so I mean u already got me so I think u already won this game. USHI GUSHI FITE ME. also suga. curl up on a nicely upholstered armchair, nice cup of tea, maybe some ice cream? gorgeous view outside, trying to flip pages but its lowkey a pain to do so because suga is doing the same in his seat, but ur arms are stretched out to meet in the space between the two of you, and ur knuckles are brushing
@rulerofstars: ANGELLLLL u are another eaaaasyyyy Levi pull bc HOW SWEET ARE U
@acekou: ...honestly anyone u want bc I AM INTIMIDATED - AS I SHOULD BE. and I love that energy for u. ERen??? Levi?? ARMIN??? ERWIN?!?!?? no problem
@thot-farm: ME. I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS AND I HAVENT SAID HI BEFORE. but ME. U COULD PULL ME NO PROBLEM BC M LOVE U ALREADY. but I mean im no Levi and u could pull him no problem too dearie (;
@xxdragonwriterxx: omfg LEVI LEVI LEVI LEVI LEVI!!! UR FICS ARE SO DAMN AMAZING AND THE IDEAS ARE AMAZING AND THE PLOT AND EVERYTHING and ur also so sweet?? LEVI. FOR. LIFE. EASILY. NO CONTEST.
@jean-does-not-have-a-horseface: BIRD. MANS. HAWKS. DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?!?!!?
@levilaughlove69: kenny. fkn. ackerman. no more words.
@bluebellhairpin: SEE ABOVE. also Erwin - I know u like that big mans my sweet darling nemo :3 but also BACK THE FK OFF ALL OF U UR DRIFTING WITH ME SO ME. U PULL ME. EVERYONE ELSE CAN BACK THE FK UP
@unadulteratedtreecrusade: BEANBEANBEANBEAN IM THIIIIIIIS close to coming to visit u bc I love u SO DAMN MUCH. but HONESTLY WHO CANT U PULL?? LEVI. DONE. ERWIN. DONE.
@1252291: N UR URL SAYS IT ALL. LEVI. zeke? BOTH? ANNIE VIBES TOO??? JEAN? im done.
@babieweeb: another moot I havent interacted too much with 🥺 but ZEEEEEKKKKE
@itspastellemons: LEYLA LISTEN. me. u got me. u can pull me anytime shh dont tell my bf I LOVE U SM I LOVE U SO DAMN MUCH R U KIDDING!?! but other than me ahem LEVI. LEEEVIIIIII FOR U BC UR SO DAMN SWEET AND HE WOULD MELT AT U. erwin? wrapped around ur finger?? REINER?? MICHE?? I cant even choose for u ur too powerful
@alrightberries: I think ur on a Nanami binge rn AS U SHOULD BE. so just know that u could have that mans in an instant
@mysteriousmagicx: MY FAV WITCH MOOT WHO HAS THE BEST DAMN FKIN AUS AND THE BIGGEST DANG BRAIN. WHO CAN’T U PULL??? WITCH HANJI. VAMPIRE LEVI. WEREWOLF MICHE. STOP IT U CAN HAVE EM ALL.
@etherealserenity: ERRRREEEEENN I DONT NEED TO SAY ANY MORE. AND U KNOW WHY.
@cant-spell-slay-without-lay HOW THE FK DID I NOT ADD U EARLIER MY DEAR PLS IM SO SORRY OMFG - but UR LEGIT MS. ACKERMAN HOW COULD U NOT PULL LEVI. case closed. ms ackerman is legit.
#holy#that was the longest damn list ive ever made#I LOVE U ALL MY DEAR MOOTS#IF I FORGOT ANY I STG I DIDNT MEAN TO#and this list is in no particular order I love u all#asks#anon#THANKS FOR THE ASK ANON
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know I’ve been complaining for like 72 straight hours but is anyone else bumming super hard rn because they genuinely love the Mandalorian and Din and don’t want it to be soured bc of (1) really stupid move. And is anyone else yearning for the 13 month period after the s2 finale where everyone was just having fun with Dinluke Coparents™️ and drawing cute art of Luke training Grogu and such
Yearning and pining and whatnot
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi Hey Love you nd your art but what is your take on the relationship (not romantic but like, interaction wise/thought wise) of Nana-Chan and Mimi? I don't remember but have you done any scribbles of them?
Thank youuu 💕💕💕 and you can say relationship! Of course I'll regard it as platonic (english is weird).
You can look through my Nanako tag and see I've drawn her with Mim (considering I love to plug that cryptid into everything that coincides with my interests HA).
These two in particular being the clearest presentation of their relationship I've made so far: 1 2
I'll admit, either I haven't thought about these two interacting enough or I find their relationship hard to tackle considering both of their perspectives, I have...yet to properly solidify anything.
The one thing to remember about Nanako's perspective is that she initially found Mim, the attendant, to be "weird" or "scary."
Although the narration says Nanako's looking at bancho, it's clear that she's looking at the attendant. Her model even approaching bancho and looking up at him.
11:57 https://youtu.be/nOS7zw34dj0?t=717
Which she clarifies later on 3/20.
46:48 https://youtu.be/5Q0RABx5-5M?t=2808
That being said, au-wise, with Nanako warming up to Mim after hearing Souji talk about them, I think Mim would be afraid of Nanako.
A six (6) year old girl (she turns seven (7) in October) whose mother died recently, and with her father being busy as a detective, she's been left alone at home majority of the time until her cousin stays for the year. Being a child, she has nothing to suppress or hide from others to have her own Shadow. And her only desires are things as simple as loving her family and friends, keeping the company she already has, and yearning for her late mother which manifests in (albeit, shared) her TV studio in the world of the unconscious.
And a cryptic entity born of a collective unconscious, serving them as a deity and executing a plan to fulfill it. It's not as if they're meant to be remembered by anyone at all. They might as well be forgotten; imperceiveable, really. Slapping together a temporary identity just to shake hands with a few people. Why bother sealing the little gaps seeping out fog only perceptible to those they'll never meet again. First impressions? What about no impressions.
But there was an impression.
A guy twice a little girl's height does their best not to crumble in front of her, to say the least. Afraid of children being more perceptive knowing the truth better than those older than them and simply not being aware of it. Being piercingly blunt and honest as per their nature as individuals still learning about the world around them.
What if you were a decaying mass with a face you can't change bound to fulfill a duty that could end the lives with the same will that powers your existence, hiding under a myriad of physical and metaphorical layers. And you hear
"Oh, thank you!"
"Thanks for taking care of big bro."
"You're really pretty!"
"You really are big bro's big bro."
No, no, no. Go back to being afraid. Go back to never remembering.
It takes twice the effort to try and smile.
(more under cut where I'm less poetic and this is getting long lol)
sorry for getting poetic lol woww i love being dramatic /gets dragged off stage/
Mim can take compliments from anyone else which they could easily brush off. But from kids who probably aren't even aware of euphemisms yet Mim would probably die.
s: wow senpai youre really pretty for a guy
m: haha jk right whatever lol
n: mister attendant i think youre pretty
m: say sike rn
For clarification, yes Mim would still act in their attendant facade with Nanako but it takes twice the effort to be with her.
Having to swallow everything nice she has to say about them and keeping up the clown act to be consistent with everyone they meet.
It's hard to feel spite or plain heartlessness and 'i dont give a shit about what you think about me actually' bc Mim is growing their own heart after it unwillingly tore apart from them, while they gradually returning to the caretaker aspect of their whole being that they lost at the same time. So they care about a child's opinions taking them as how other people may actually think about them if they ever admitted it, especially the fact this same child is connected to so many people and Mim already knowing if this game they enabled keeps up, she's going to inevitably get caught up in it making them fully aware of her fate.
And as much as they already care about her, they aren't supposed to stop the game they started since they're bound to their duties that they begin to loathe, but also at the same time take personally since, at its core, it's meant to better the lives of the people they've grown about at an intimate level ever since they turned human themself and /shepherd's cane cartoonishly pulls me off stage for the second time/
Do you know how much guilt piles up on literally everyone associated with Nanako by November when shes kidnapped and hospitalized?¿
Out of everyone, Mim doesn't want Nanako to care about them the most. They don't want her to think that they, a monster formed by the cognition of the collective, is "pretty" or "nice" or "kind" or "funny." Mim cares about Nanako and they don't want her to go down that line of thinking and be betrayed by her beliefs based on how Mim presents themself.
But then again, it's already been a long while ever since they made "themself" different from "Izanami." So maybe Nanako's allowed to think that way.
#persona 4 spoilers#gsa sl au#p4#arttag#boot.tingting#assk#anon#nanako dojima#moel gas station attendant#izanami persona#⛽️🌫#//baiting you to read this bc i drew both of them so i'd stop crying#//SOBBING SOBBING WEEPING WEEPING#//ive rambled so much that part of my brain is rattling so hard ok FINE i'll think about Nanako Dojima and CRY are you HAPPY#//anyway we're playing the pronouns game ボク is different from 私#//if this was canon mim and they met nanako a second time i doubt theyd give a shit and scare her some more lol#//m: youre aware of the truth / n: the wgat now / m:#//i doubt ive made proper art or even have the artistic skill to elaborate my point but mim's oddly attractive for a gas station attendant
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
the fic you wrote for my last prompt was amazing, ty 😭 can you do 50 + 56 this time please? and if you want to work in dyslexic!steve too that would be awesome! 🥰
You are speaking my fuckin’ language, dyslexic Steve is my ABSOLUTE jam. Honestly, whenever I write Steve, he’s dyslexic, although sometimes it’s not mentioned because it’s not important to Harry’s journey @ jk rowling
Thank you for your request! I’m really glad you liked the other one I wrote! You’re anonymous so I don’t know which one that is but I really enjoyed writing them all! Sorry for my manic energy rn.
Something a little different, it’s modern au! This is probably nothing like what you were thinking so I’m sorry, but I kinda love it ngl.
50: Secret Admirer
56: “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”
Prompt list!
Billy spent three and a half hours reading through every single tweet on the account.
There were so fucking many of them. The earliest one was timestamped from four days ago, so obviously, this person had no life outside of tweeting.
Tweeting about Billy.
He had a few personal favorites. He had retweeted them to his account, figuring may as well play it up, make a joke outta everything.
@ImHardForHargrove: sorry WHOMST gave you the RIGHT to have eyes that fuckin blue im YELLING
@ImHardForHargrove: watchin u play basketball is a religious experience y are ur arms so BIG hhnnnng
And Billy’s absolute favorite, which he pinned right at the top of his account
@ImHardForHargrove: ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass
Billy knew he looked good. Knew he turned heads wherever he went. He did that on purpose. But realizing someone at Hawkins High had set up a thirst account for him, well.
“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” Billy had explained the situation to Robin, letting her go through the account on his phone. “Like, It’s kinda nice, whoever this guy is, he’s got a crush. But also like, It’s kinda creepy. Plus he’s objectifying me,” Billy was talking through his sandwich.
Robin made a face of disgust. “Why do you keep saying ‘he’? All of the girls in this fucking school are practically drooling for you.”
“Hard for Hargrove, Robin. I know you��re like, revolted by the peen and whatever but that does not excuse a lack of basic sexual education and anatomy.” She gagged at him. Honest to God, gagged. He thought she was gonna spew all over the table.
“If I ever hear you call it a peen ever again, it’s on sight Hargrove.” Heather plopped herself down next to Robin, kissing her cheek before zeroing in on Billy’s phone, still in Robin’s hand.
“Have you guys worked out who it could be yet?” Her eyes were wide at Billy.
“Billy says he thinks its a guy even though people with penises aren’t necessarily men.” Robin gave him a pointed look.
“Yeah Robin, I know that, but, I don’t know I just think it’s a guy penis-having person.”
Heather narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you actually think that, or are you just hoping in that goblin little brain of yours that this account is Steve Harrington’s.” Billy could feel the heat spread down his neck.
“Billy, I know Steve is like, the only out guy in this whole fucking town, but you can do way better than him. PLUS, I feel like it makes more sense if the person running this account wasn’t out and had to channel their gay yearning through social media.”
“First of all Robin, you have this vendetta against Steve that I don’t get. He’s a nice guy. He’s kinda dopey, kinda dumb, but he’s like, sweet and shit. Second, I’m not out, so it still could be him because he doesn’t think I would, like, accept his advances or whatever. Hence, gay internet yearning.” The chime of the bell sent them packing their lunches, Billy’s phone vibrated in Robin’s hand. She rolled her eyes when he realized he turned on notifications for the account
“Get a fucking life you loser.” She slapped the phone into his hand. He opened the new tweet with embarrassing zeal.
@ImHardForHargrove: i saw u talking with ur mouth full and it was yucky but i was still 🥺🥺
His head shot up, trying to see who would have been facing him during lunch, but the cafeteria was almost empty.
The rest of the week Billy took deliberate care of every interaction he had with anyone. Observing who was in his surroundings, and making note of everything he did and said. He took extra caution around Steve, wanting to spot any minute detail that could give away who ran the account.
The account started blowing up. People were retweeting like fucking crazy. Everywhere he went, he was being asked if he’s seen it, like he doesn’t regularly retweet the good ones. The search for the owner of the account had spread throughout the whole school. A few girls even tried to claim the account was theirs, but every time that happened the account would tweet out something to discredit whoever made the claim, proving them a liar.
Billy was starting to lose hope it was Harrington. The tweets were coming at all different times, posted whenever the person thought about it, so Billy was losing track of who was near when he said or did something. And the tweets were always about stupid stuff Billy didn’t register doing. On Wednesday night the account said
@ImHardForHargrove: hi when you chew on your pencil and it makes me 🥴 that is all thx for comin to my ted talk
Friday afternoon gave them all:
@ImHardForHargrove: walked past ur classroom and u were asleep ive never wanted to CUDDLE someone so bad in my LIFE
But Saturday, Saturday renewed all hope for Harrington Billy could possibly have. Lauren Kranz was throwing a party. It was the first real rager in a while, so everyone was there, and everyone was sloshed. Everyone but Billy, who’d agreed to be designated driver for Robin and Heather like some kinda idiot.
He was brooding on the back porch when his phone went off. The account was active, and the owner was drunk.
@ImHardForHargrove: I can seeeeee u oyt the windw I wan u 2 FUC ME. RAW DOG.
@ImHardForHargrove: srry ur so beauitiful nd THICCC
@ImHardForHargrove: I wana shoot my shot but idk if u lik bois
@ImHardForHargrove: (ys i am boi)
@ImHardForHargrove: nd i dont wana get my heart broken agin 😥
He was right about it being a guy. He was right about him being too nervous to approach him outright. His brain was screaming stevestevesteve at him. Hawkins was shook when Steve came out as bisexual in his sophomore year. He was the golden boy, a real jock. He was NOT the kind of guy people would assume queer in a small midwestern town.
He was kind of a douchebag, dumping one girl for another, sleeping with her and never calling again. But then he settled down with this guy from the University of Indianapolis for a few months until Steve caught him cheating. Apparently, he had slashed the guy’s tires. Billy was impressed.
The next year came Wheeler, who only stuck around long enough to make sure Steve was nice and whipped before she fucked off on him too. So Steve retreated. Spent more time with middle schoolers than anybody else. Didn’t want to put his heart on the line anymore until he knew it wouldn’t be stomped on. Billy could respect that.
Billy couldn’t risk being out in a town like Hawkins. Word always had a way of getting right back to his dad, and in a tiny hick town with nothing better to do than gossip, it was usually only a matter of hours before Neil heard something he didn’t like.
@ImHardForHargrove: srry 4 bad typing rn. drunk nd dysl exic ren’t a happy combo
Billy’s heart stopped. The drunken idiot was giving himself away. Maybe if he sat here staring at the account long enough, enough would be revealed he could figure it all out like a shitty drunk episode of Blue’s Clues.
He was so focused on Twitter, refreshing his feed, again and again, he didn’t notice a very drunk, and very unsteady Steve Harrington stumbling out the back door towards him. Until he crashed into his back.
“Sorry, Bill!” Billy had Steve by the shoulders trying to keep him upright. “Heyy I have a question for you.” Steve grabbed one of Billy’s hands and veered over to the table and chairs arranged neatly on the small patio. When they were sitting, Steve kept ahold of Billy’s hand.
“Hi.” Steve was smiling like a little kid. Billy was in fucking love.
“hey, Harrington. What was your question.”
“So-oo. I have this friend. A very good friend. Super close. And he has a big ol’ crush on you but he’s too scared to ask you himself because he keeps getting his heart fuckin’ broken so he wanted me to ask. Are you into guys?” It’s a miracle Billy understood any of that, every word blending into the next.
“That depends.” Billy leaned in, running his tongue along his bottom lip. He saw Steve take in a sharp breath, following the movement with his glazed eyes. He knew Steve was talking about himself, he just wanted to rile him up a little. Make him blush first. “This friend you’re talkin’ about. He’s our age? Like you’re not trying to set me up with one a’ your kids, right?” Steve physically recoiled.
“NO, you fuckin’ pedo. I’m NOT trying to set you up with a fuckin’, fuckin’ middle schooler. My friend is, uh eighteen. He’s a senior.” Unless Tommy fuckin’ H. suddenly had a penchant for dick Billy didn’t know about, Steve was 100% talking about himself.
“Well, if he’s as pretty as you are, I’d love to go out with him sometime.” Billy winked. Steve went red.
“Okay, but like, does that mean you’d go out with me? Like I’m as pretty as me, right? Because I was talking about me. Not ‘a friend’ I was talking about me. Steve.”
“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. You know, I was hoping it was you running that Twitter. Any time you’d tweet out something you wanted to do with me, I was always picturin’ doing it with you, Baby.” Billy was practically purring. “Especially all the shit you wanted me to do TO you.” Steve gave something between a whine and a groan and flopped himself onto Billy’s lap, straddling him with very little grace.
“Thank God. ‘Cause you’re so fucking hot I’d let you do anything to me. Anything, Bill.” Billy smiled softly at him.
“Then let me take you home. Let me put you in bed to sleep off all this. And let me take you to breakfast tomorrow. Something nice and greasy for your hangover tummy.” Steve was a puddle in Billy’s lap. “C’mon, Drunky, git your ass up.” Steve just giggled and muttered Drunky Skunky under his breath.
Billy sighed and stood up, hefting Steve up with him.
“Bil-ly,” Steve whined. “You’re so strong, this is so fucking hot. I gotta tweet about this.”
“Tweet it later, Sweet Thing.”
It took Billy for-fucking-ever to find Robin and Heather (they were making out in the basement with the stoners). But Steve chirped and cooed into his ear, so happy Billy could lift him and hold him like it was nothing.
The last tweet from the account was timestamped from Sunday evening.
@ImHardForHargrove: Hi this is Steve. Billy’s my boyfriend now 🥰#ThirstWorks
#I'm gonna reblog this in the morning too#Im v proud of it I want people to SEE IT#harringrove#steve harrington#steve harrington x billy hargrove#billy hargrove x steve harrington#billy hargorve#modern au#modern harringrove#yikes writes#harringrove prompts#Harringrove Prompts list#harringrove prompt fill#prompt fill#prompt fic
161 notes
·
View notes
Text
S E O N G H W A ↱ soulmate au
WHEN HONGJOONG’S MVP
a/n: I really suck at fantasy au’s lmao. real short cause I can’t think rn.
• it’s not easy.
• no, it’s not easy when the world tries to fortell fate for you.
• when finding your soulmate in a vast population has gotten too difficult,
• no it’s not easy.
• when the world decides for you who you spend the rest of your life with—
• so be it, if it’s a man you’ve never met.
• that they claim will be your soulmate.
• you see where the difference there is?
• when they and will is used.
• and not choice and you.
• “You look beautiful, y/n.”
• you stare at your reflection in the mirror.
• dark minded,
• distraught.
• and to be marrying a man in a couple minutes that does not burn in your soul in any desirable way than one can consume.
• you didn’t deserve this.
• no one deserves this.
• why was it so hard to find the one you’re meant to be with?
• “Y/n, I know you’re not happy—“
• “Not happy would be an understatement mother.” You pressed the wrinkles of your dress and sigh. “But willing? Willing is more suitable for the situation.”
• she sends a regretful smile.
• knowing before you were aware of the worlds promises,
• a soulmate,
• you were once happy.
• now you’re just plain livid.
• “I’m sure Hongjoong is just as an unhappy as you are.”
• “Yes because he’s marrying a woman that is not his soulmate. And I the same. Why must I marry, mother? Can’t you give me more time? I can find him. If you and father would let me.”
• she sends you pity.
• knowing you deserve it.
• more than anyone, a soulmate.
• the one thing you’ve dreamed for in your kind and generous lifestyle,
• but god gave you this instead.
• a lonely soul.
• just like everybody else’s.
• “What are the chances, y/n? That you could find him when even I couldn’t?”
• so you get ready walk down the aisle,
• your father beside you adjusting his tie and puckering his lips like an idiot,
• he’s always wanted a proper wedding.
• people who don’t meet their actual soulmates not normally blessed with one.
• but in your circumstances.
• Hongjoong insisted.
• for the woman he takes the place as his soulmate—
• it’s all he could do when he knows you can’t get what you deserve.
• “You look gorgeous, y/n. You’d make a fine soulmate.”
• you smile at the handsome and charming man before you,
• your mark against your neck still and starved.
• “As do you, Hongjoong.”
• he sends you a small smile. “Shall we get the wedding started?”
• “I think it’s right.”
• the vows are shared.
• the long and torturous speech of well being and health also.
• love?
• how sad.
• but the rings came,
• Hongjoong’s best man steps forward from behind him and you think you’ve frozen.
• the world stops when he looks at you.
• how the mark on your skin burns.
• with excitement?
• no.
• relief.
• “The rings, Seonghwa?”
• he clears his throat.
• the beautiful man behind your fiancé curling,
• when his hand strikes his neck too.
• “Seonghwa?”
• “Yes! Yes. Sorry.”
• he stumbles,
• eyes not leaving yours as your chest heaves.
• you have to laugh and smile.
• your heart yearns and you think,
• was finding your soulmate really that easy?
• “The rings. For a wonderful man and a beautiful woman.”
• his eyes orb in a fluorescent color and you think you can see the heavens.
• your whole body is trembling over you and Hongjoong notices.
• the way you can’t stop staring at Seonghwa as he steals the rings from his best man’s hand.
• he smiles.
• glad you have found your soulmate.
• with a ring between his fingers, Hongjoongdances towards you almost wanting to break your hesitation for you.
• “I believe this ring does not belong to you, ms. y/n. Nor I for the most part.”
• you giggle.
• kissing Hongjoong on the cheek before the whole venue gasps.
• when your arms link around a stranger.
• the man that’s supposed to be holding your heart.
• and when his heat suppresses yours.
• it’s just—
• right.
• “I’ve been searching the world for you.” he whispers amongst the mumbling crowd.
• but you’re ecstatic.
• can’t stop smiling even though the night had just been ruined for most people.
• how easy it was for your already ruined night to be fixed with just a single choice.
• not made by you, you’re sure.
• you’re gonna have to thank Hongjoong for that one.
• now this time around,
• you’re walking down the aisle staring straight at the man you’re meant to be with.
• “Seonghwa, do you believe in fate?”
• “I believe in Hongjoong.” He jokes while his best man sneaks in for the rings.
• “You know, I’m starting to think Hongjoong might be OUR soulmate.” you kiss the cheek of the man who brought you together.
• and you think he deserves more than just that.
• you want to do something for him to.
• but who are you to foretell fate.
• as you kiss Seonghwa’s lips,
• those very lips that you think couldn’t be any more great,
• while Hongjoong is staring at your maid of honor?
• how much easier could this get?
@atinybitofau
#seonghwa#park seonghwa#ateez#ateez seonghwa#ateez preferences#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez reactions#seonghwa scenarios#seonghwa imagines#seonghwa reactions#seonghwa oneshot#seonghwa au#soulmate au#ateez x reader#hongjoong#kim hongjoong
174 notes
·
View notes
Note
we're the exact opposite ends of the spectrum!!! lmao fjdjs I have zero ambition/career goals and if I could, I would definitely 100% pick not to have a job ever. which makes me so lazy to everyone else but im just 🤷♀️ what can i do? I don't understand the rethoric of "you have to be miserable and suffer in order earn the right to exist". over the years I've realised I yearn for nothing more than to be able to have a house that's mine, that I can take care of and decorate and renovate whenever i feel like, and a bunch of pets, and possibly someone i love to spend the rest of my days with. I love learning new things but formal education is Not for me rip so I would just like to spend my time taking care of my house, and learning new things by travelling, reading, studying whatever I feel like whenever I feel like it and on my own, in my own time and for my own private benefit, not to have anything to show to anyone. and sometimes it is literally so hard for me to digest the fact that as a society we have just decided this is not a viable option and i know i know im talking about everything here in the most simplicistic way possible and that in reality everything is infinitely more complex but you know what I mean??? im just so tired. and sometimes the knowledge that no matter what you're destined to never feel the slightest sense of fulfillment and satisfaction is kind of overwhelmingly heart crushing
I've made myself even more depressed now I hate this im so sorry fhdjdj
sorry lmao I went on rambling and this doesn't even have anything to do with what you posted fhdjdjjd
i just wanted to tell you that I've always admired people like you, even though it does sound just as scary and exhausting to feel like you won't have the chance to explore everything you'd like to. but I truly hope you'll get to experience as many difference things as youll be able to fit in your schedule, one day! maybe even just to try a lot of different stuff for shorter periods of time. everyone deserve a chance at finding something that satisfies them, that makes them happy. and i know this shitty hideous world is the furthest thing from fair, and even just the fact that we can afford to fantasise about/desire this stuff makes us privileged in someway but i just. I literally have no other way to cope with the frustration if not to keep alive the smallest fragment of hope that maybe one day it won't feel this bad
now I'm done im sorry im literally thinking about all this 24/7 and reading your post opened a floodgate aaa
hey! sorry I just saw your ask because I went to sleep right after posting that!
anyways personally I think that's a very legitimate dream! personally I don't think there's anything wrong with it and also it's probably wayyy more common than you think! and I hope one day you can have all that and be really happy with it because it sounds really wholesome! also about the formal education thing I totally understand lol tbh I think it could definitely use some work Because for how it is rn ,at least where I live, it's definitely not structured to help students or allow them to find their best way of learning and developing as a person so I totally get that lots of people find it really difficult to be in it and have feel like it'd be much easier to just do it alone (I feel like that a lot too but also for how I am I know I couldn't do it on my own) and also not completing formal education doesn't mean you're not smart or intelligent imo!
and thank you for your words about me!!! I hope we can both find a way to be happy!!! even in this world that seems designed to prevent that!🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
#ask#anon#i hope this makes sense djgj i just woke up#also not to be like that but you could get that life you marry someone who has enough money shdh#i know its like not really a goal but like im being realistic! sjsjj#or you should have been born a celebrity baby 😔#well i think everyone would have liked that but yeah sjgj#honestly if we had been born rich neither of us would be having this conversation bc you'd have your lovely home#and i could spend my time doing whatever I want#sighhh#anyways#good morning 💞#long post
0 notes
Text
tag people you want to get to know better
tagged by @captain-apostrophe! <3
tagging (but only if you want to): @vexingcosmos, @spectralprongs, @brehaaorgana , @grandsairs, @christinismithe, @serendipitysunnyflower and anyone else who wants to do it!! <33
your name and then what you would have named yourself: ana! i am good with my name tbh idk that i'd change it
astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): libra/leo/capricorn
when did you join tumblr and why?: i just checked and i have been a part of this hellsite since feb 2009 fladkfmaf i remember there was like a week that almost all of ontd_ffa joined @ once because one of us was like HEY THERES A COOL NEW SITE and i'm still here lmao
top 5 fandoms: like active fandoms or just Things I Like? obv rn like… mdzs/the untamed lmao, but also bnha and ffxv pero like in tiny circles??? idk fandom for me is better when u curate your experience, also yk when people are like hey what do u want for christmas and your brain decides it suddenly doesn't know anything? that's what my brain is doing right now lol, UHHHH lemme get back to you on the rest of them. OH i am also dipping my toes into the bts fandom with @spectralprongs's help!! <3 i'm also still very mad that in the flesh was canceled after 9 episodes
top 5 favorite films: pan's labyrinth, pacific rim, coco, jurassic park, the devil's backbone probably
go to song when you wanna Feel something: when i want to feel WHAT THO? so many moods, so many songs if you get specific i might have a better answer lol
what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: i was raised catholic, so there's a flavor of catholic jokes that will always make me laugh
a song that makes you feel seen: la respuesta lmfaldfmllkm YO NO NECESITO UN HOMBRE QUE ME JODA
if you could have any career: i wanted to be a photographer traveling the world taking pics and getting paid for it, but idk i'm p ok where i am rn working in immigration law if only because i can help people
do you have a type?: sweet gremlin men with nice bone structure, women who could probably beat me up
what does your heart/soul yearn for: for unprecedented times to be OVER please a bitch is tired
if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: I Cannot for some reason it's so hard for me to describe myself lol but if anyone else wants to answer this for me GO FOR IT
favorite subjects in school: photography! art! languages! english! french! music classes!
where does your soul feel most at home: anywhere i can relax with my favorite people <3
top 5 fictional characters:
top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: OOF moments??? the first ep of futurama with seymour the dog, the season finales of itf, idk i try not to watch shows that are going to make me sad lmao i'm cheating and putting the beginning of up here too
the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the earth we are not nice enough to her she's doing her best!!!! the stars are a close second but i don't get to look @ them enough thanks light pollution
favorite kind of weather: SNOWSTORM you can spend all day playing in it and then be cozy inside after with blankets and soup
top 3 characters you relate to: I CHANGED THIS QUESTION BECAUSE I DIDN’T LIKE HOW IT WAS WORDED LMAO but every oldest sibling from the untamed who raised their younger siblings oldest siblings deserve financial compensation!!!, prob the weasley twins who are v smart but also v much not about their grades lol (that's 6 it counts)
favorite medium of art: all of them i refuse to pick one!!! well no i can tell u my least favorite art medium is art made from trash and/or period blood
introvert/extrovert/ambivert: extrovert allegedly
a favorite literary quote: bruh i haven't read an actual book in SO LONG i need to make more time to read
some of your favorite books: remind me about this one i am at work and have forgotten every single book i've ever read
if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: i think i'm ok here! i love traveling and visiting new places, but i live super close to a big city and i like having Four Seasons (total landscaping ladfkamdf i'm sorry it was right there)
if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: mmm like cap said, history hasn't been particularly good to female-presenting people, and i'm gonna add that it's also been sorta terrible to not white people. NOT THAT NOW GOING PARTICULARLY WELL LMAO BUT UHHHH. if i could go just like watch history, maybe a period when art/music was having a big boom
if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: piano!!! i have one but i can only play by ear lmao (it was an inheritance) i should be able to read music after many years playing different instruments but nope none of it stuck
if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: i do not have one
and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: all of my recent selfies have been mask selfies i sent kie or pics of office puppy on the selfie camera WHOOPS i don't really take selfies
9 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
