#anyway. time to rewatch season two and cry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 9 months

Text

Note: request by @bubblyabs! thank you so much!! I hope you'll like it!

Warnings: SKMD SPOILERS. fluff/smut 18+, a lot of fourth wall breaking and my infamous attempt at humor.

pairing: SKMD!Sihtric x Modern!You (f)

summary: The fictional man of your dreams was suddely not so fictional anymore.

wordcount: 5,2k

'You looked really hot there.'

There you were again, wrapped in a blanket on your couch, ready to once again finish another binge rewatch of The Last Kingdom. You just couldn't stop yourself. Ever since you became obsessed with the show, you could watch nothing else. No other series appealed to you anymore, and you kept going back to the very first episode, pathetically anticipating the second season, because that's where your favourite character comes in; Sihtric Kjartansson. The man needs no introduction, if we're honest.

You don't know what exactly it is about him, but you were smitten. Each time he appeared on screen, you needed a glass of water and a cold shower afterwards.

You thought the actor who played him was cute too, you just couldn't really recall his name, you only remembered he had some complicated last name, Federsomething. However, cute or not, nothing was better than the rugged look of that pretty Danish rat boy in that medieval Netflix show. And so, only several weeks since your last rewatch, you were watching the movie again, which was the very last taste of the entire show you would ever get. Until they'll make some lousy remake in 10 years or something, which you would obviouslly not watch because you couldn't stand the thought of all those actors being replaced. Not on your watch.

Anyway, you had cried your absolute eyes out during the movie when you saw it the first time. But more importantly: whoever was responsible for Sihtric's haircut in the movie, was an actual blessing from the lord. Every time you saw his very first scene in that movie, where he walks up to Uhtred, with that long, loose hair, you simply just slide down your couch, being a whole hot mess. The things you would do to get that man in your bed, and the things you would do to him… oh, if only he wasn't fictional. You'd let him rail you, but alas.

And that made you groan each time. The most beautiful and perfect man you had ever seen was freaking fictional! It seems ridiculous, but Sihtric just ticked all your boxes.

He was funny, brave, loyal, adorable, hot, sexy, maybe not the smartest but you had no problem taking care of that man, he was good with weapons, he was protective and a real family man. What else could a you possibly want? You cursed Bernard Cornwell for coming up with the character and whoever casted that actor, as they are clearly responsible for you being forever single. Because you would never settle for anyone who was not Sihtric Kjartansson; fictional character and the goddamn love of your life.

And just like two weeks ago, you finished the movie and switched off your tv, while being a sobbing, snotty mess once again. Your three week holiday had just started, and your initial plan was to stay up late each night, but you had a headache from crying, so you decided to go to bed when it wasn't even close to midnight.

The next morning you woke up early because of some loud banging. You figured the toddlers of your upstairs neighbours were at it again, banging their fists on the wall, running through their apartment. You could hear their little gremlin claws stomp and scratch everywhere they went. But you had to admit, they were louder than usual today, and it actually sounded like they were kicking and stomping at your front door.

You groaned and got dressed for another day of simply doing nothing. You started your coffee machine and opened the door to your little hallway, which led through the front door. You hadn't checked for any mail downstairs in a few days, and it was time to leave your cave for that little adventure to the main hall of your apartment building.

But you would not get there, at least, not any time soon. No. You were about to get the biggest jump scare of your life, to which you would scream so loud, it would without a doubt wake up the entire city. And after that, everything would turn black in front of your eyes.

During your unconscious state you had the weirdest dream. You had opened the door to your hallway and found the cause of that weird banging noise. The noise came from your own apartment. The noise was created by a man, kicking at, and rattling your door, in a pathetic attempt to open it. And it wasn't just any man.

You recognised him from the back within a split second. It was the fictional man of your dreams, dressed in the red-brownish leather armour he wore when you last saw him on your tv, his hair braided and his face bloody and bewildered. You screamed so loud when you saw him, that someone probably called the cops, because it was a horrible, distressing sound. And it also scared the hell out of Sihtric, who turned to face you while reaching for the hilt of his sword as he stepped closer. But after a second, his expression changed from anger to astonishment, and he stared at you, all confused and wide-eyed. You stared into his mismatched eyes as he was merely two paces away from you.

'Lady?' he said, with the voice and accent that simply set your body on fire whenever you heard it.

And you randomly thought how Sihtric looked taller on tv than he did in real life, in your hallway, and then everything just turned black.

And it turned out that it wasn't a dream. But it all had actually happened before you passed out, in your hallway. Sihtric had been quick to catch your fall and caught you in his arms. While still completely confused, and in shock, he had carried you into your living room and carefully laid you down on your couch. And as it would take a good five minutes before you regained consciousness again, Sihtric took a quick look around your apartment, growing more confused and concerned with every passing second.

And you suddenly opened your eyes again as he had his back turned to you.

You blinked rapidly, your eyes trying to focus on the backside of the man in armour, which you recognised all too well. It hadn't been a dream, it all actually happened. And it was still happening apparently. How the fuck was this possible? Did someone prank you? Did someone pay a ridiculous amount of money to hire the actual actor, just to scare the shit out of you and to mess with you? Breaking your heart in the process as you could never be with the man of your dreams? What a sick joke.

While that medieval looking hunk stared at your family pictures, you quietly took your phone from your pocket and opened instagram. Your eyes grew wide when you saw that the actual actor, who you knew played Sihtric in the show, had posted a story just a minute ago, announcing that he was currently in some country, far away from yours, at a comic con.

'No way,' you whispered, 'but then who the fuck-', you looked back at Sihtric again, who had made his way over to your Last Kingdom book collection.

He stared at it, but as you couldn't see his face, you had no idea what he was doing because you remembered he shouldn't be able to read. You followed his movements with huge eyes, completely in shock, and without realising it, your phone slipped out of your hands and dropped on the floor with a loud thump. You spooked Sihtric, who slightly jumped, and was quick to turn around, again ready to draw his sword.

'Where am I?' he asked, trying to sound calm.

'W-what… uh, England?'

'England?'

'E-England,' you said again.

'What is the year, lady?'

'2024.'

'What?'

'No, sorry! Sorry, I- I mean 2023!'

Sihtric stared at you, and you thought if he wouldn't blink soon, his eyes would dry out.

'H-how did you get here?' you asked.

'How did you get here?' he asked cautiously.

'I… live here?' you frowned.

'Why?'

You blinked. 'Because… I… pay to live here?'

'Oh,' Sihtric said, then nodded, 'that seems fair. What is that?' he asked, pointing to your tv.

'It's a t- uhh,' you figured that if for some reason this really was Sihtric, the medieval dude from your favourite tv show, he would not know what a tv is, so for the sake of playing it safe, you lied, 'it's a… art.'

'Art?'

'Yes, like a drawing,' you panicked.

Sihtric looked at the tv, then back at you, and said, 'but it's all black?'

'Well, it's… modern… art? It's really expensive,' you said, hoping he would not try to break your tv for whatever reason.

'Expensive?'

'Yes,' you said, 'it's, uh, over a six hundred poun- pieces of silver.'

Sihtric looked back at your tv again, scratched his forehead, and then locked eyes with you again, 'Lady,' he snickered, 'I think someone has fooled you. That drawing is not worth that amount of silver.'

You smiled, simply agreeing, while anticipating his next move.

'Is that,' he squinted his eyes and walked over to your kitchen, 'Uhtred?' he frowned, looking at your coffee cup which had a picture of Uhtred's face on it, 'why?' Sihtric asked as he looked back at you.

'I, uhh…' were you going to tell him they didn't have a cup with his face on it, and that you had sent an angry email to the company? Maybe not. You cleared your throat, but before you could speak, Sihtric's eyes found the large framed poster of him, Finan and Uhtred on your wall. And his eyes grew wide.

'Where did you get that? Why am I… why are… wh-,' Sihtric stopped talking, then eventually said, 'who made this painting?'

'... Google?'

'Who is Google?'

'It's, well, so,' you stammered.

'You paid six hundred pieces of silver for this too?'

'Wha- no, more like…seven.'

'Seven hundred?' Sihtric gasped, 'lady,' he smiled, clearly flattered.

'No! I mean like seven pou- bloody pieces of silver!'

'Seven?' he frowned, suddenly offended, 'only seven? Yet you paid six hundred for that?' he pointed at your tv.

'Sihtric, look,' you sighed.

'How do you know my name?' he asked, frightened.

Okay. This had to stop, right now. What the fuck is going on?

You told Sihtric to shut up, a little harsher than you really meant, but so be it. You took his hands and sat him down on your couch. For some reason he kept holding your hands, which you obviously didn't mind, and you tried to explain how you knew who he was while desperately not trying to get distracted by his appearance. Those tattooed fingers, the tattoo on his neck, and all those scars. He was even more handsome in real life. If this was real life, of course.

'You… you have seen my life?' Sihtric frowned, 'on… the black painting?'

'Yes, it's called a tv. Here, I can show you,' you took the remote, and Sihtric gasped when he suddenly heard noise and saw moving images on the previously black screen.

'Sorcery,' he whispered with big eyes, squeezing your hand.

'No, not sorcery,' you said, remembering how awfully superstitious he was in season 3. And how cute he looked in season 3. Well, he was cute in every season.

'The… the people,' Sihtric suddenly said, 'are they s-stuck?'

'Stuck?'

'Are they stuck in the painting?' he asked, concerned.

'What? No… no, it's… oh god,' you sighed, 'the people are fine,' you smiled.

You quickly switched on Seven Kings Must Die, and you thought Sihtric was going to pass out. He jumped up when he saw Finan and Ingrith, near the beginning of the movie, in Uhtred's hall, your favourite scene, and he ran to the tv.

'Finan!' Sihtric yelled, 'is he stuck?' he looked back at you, worried, 'can he… can he hear me?'

Sihtric turned to the tv again and pressed his fingers against the screen.

'No! Don't touch the screen!' you yelled, worried he'd damage it with his rough fingers, and Sihtric was quick to pull his hand back with a flinch. And you felt horrible for making him flinch, but before you could apologise, Sihtric had composed himself again.

'But… F-Finan?' he asked, 'is he okay? Where is he?'

'Finan is fine! He's not stuck! This all already happened… right?' you grimaced, hoping you were right somehow.

Sihtric looked at you, confused, then back to the screen, and he stumbled backwards when he saw his own face appear on the magic painting. He watched the scene unfold, and he didn't know what to say, he just stared at the screen as he reached for your hand again.

'You looked really hot there,' you blurted out, and you felt yourself blush.

'Hot?' Sihtric frowned, 'I wasn't hot, lady. It was a cold night! Can't you see the furs?' he scoffed.

'No, I mean, you- … no, you're right. It must've been… really cold that day.'

'It was,' Sihtric said sternly, and looked back at the screen again, 'I remember this,' he gasped, 'Finan said he only fell asleep once,' he said, just seconds before Finan said the line on tv.

'See!' Sihtric gasped and looked at you again, 'he actually has fallen asleep many times, lady,' he grinned.

Holy fuck. You didn't even think about that. Sihtric obviously knew everything that had happened, the whole story, not just the bits and pieces you saw from their lives on tv.

'H-has he?' you asked, cautiously.

'Yes, lady,' Sihtric said, 'it often happened because he had too much ale the night before. And because he's old,' he winked with a grin.

'Oh,' you snickered, 'I see. And… you never fell asleep?'

'Me? no, never,' he said with confidence.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, lady.'

You hummed and skipped to the scene where both Finan and Sihtric had fallen asleep, while Uhtred was awake.

'So…' you smiled, pointing at the tv.

Sihtric gasped, 'No, that… see! See, I'm awake. I was merely resting my eyes, I was… in deep thought,' he lied.

'Okay,' you laughed, 'if you say so.'

You watched Sihtric's face, which went from mildly ashamed to a light chuckle, and soon he laughed softly along with you. He still had no idea how it was possible that he could see his own face on your expensive painting, but Sihtric was a simple guy; he saw a pretty lady and he was smitten, not caring about much else anymore, except for winning your heart. He clearly didn't know you were basically ready to marry him on the spot. And for some reason you both just seemed to accept the situation, no questions asked. You watched the rest of the movie together, and it was surreal. Sihtric remembered everything, told you little anecdotes and simply seemed to enjoy seeing his friends on your screen.

'So… did Uhtred die?' you asked when the end credits were shown on screen.

'Uhtred died?!' Sihtric gasped.

'What? No, I mean, I'm asking you!'

'Uhtred was alive when I last saw him!' Sihtric said, and so you found out Sihtric had ended up in your world only hours after that heartbreaking last scene in the movie.

'Okay, then I'm sure he's, uh, fine,' you tried to convince yourself as much as you tried to convince Sihtric. 'Also,' you cleared your throat, 'what happened to your wife and kids?'

'Oh,' he said, 'we had a rough divorce. She broke my heart and took the kids,' he shrugged.

'Oh,' you blinked, surprised, 'I'm… sorry?'

'Are you married?' Sihtric blurted out.

'Uh, me?' you chuckled, twirling your hair, looking the handsome Dane up and down, 'n-no, I'm not. Why?' you kicked your feet.

Sihtric stared at you, he just couldn't believe his luck after being strangely teleported into a different year and world, ending up with a beautiful lady who wasn't married. But then he thought that was odd, because why weren't you married yet? A pretty lady who was clearly rich, at least that's what he thought, who lived in a nice home, was of marriage age, who was also very kind and funny, and with a body which he would undoubtedly be thinking of later that night. Why has no one married you yet, he wondered.

'Are you cursed?' he said without thinking.

'What?'

'Cursed,' he said again, 'you're not married. Why?'

'Uh, well,' you cleared your throat, 'I'm… picky.'

Sure, picky. You were simply in love with the medieval, fictional man on your couch, and you would never settle for anything less.

'Picky?' Sihtric frowned.

'Yes,' you replied, 'only a certain kind of man could win my heart,' you grinned, mindlessly twirling your hair around your fingers again.

'Oh?' Sihtric raised an eyebrow and smirked, clearly intrigued.

And he thought of it as a game now, a game he desperately wanted to play, because he wanted to know if he could win. And gods, how he wanted to win you and take you back home with him. Or stay here with you, he really didn't care, not after you just batted your eyelashes at him. No, he would do everything for you now.

'So,' he cleared his throat, shifting a little closer next to you on the couch, 'what kind of man would that be?'

'Hm,' you hummed, thinking as if you weren't looking at that specific man, 'a man who is… kind,' you said, 'loyal and brave,' you smiled at him.

Sihtric hummed and licked his lips as he gave you a playful look. He knew he was kind, loyal and brave, so he figured his chances with you were pretty good right now.

'And… someone who is not afraid to take charge,' you teased, seeing if he's willing to take the bait.

Sihtric grinned and slightly adjusted his position.

'He also has to be protective,' you said, 'and strong,' your eyes trailed down to his clothed biceps, knowing very well what's underneath all of that fabric he was wearing.

'Well,' Sihtric smiled, a little cocky, 'I might just be the man for you then.'

'You think so? I'm not sure…,' you played it cool, but inside you were going stark raving mad, this surely had to be a dream.

'I think I am,' he gave you a smirk and winked.

You were absolutely ready to pull that man in your bed, but it was only noon, you had just met him a few hours ago, and everything was just really freaking weird. So you held back. You told him you'd think about it, to which he frowned, playfully offended. You bickered a little and eventually ended up discussing what on earth you two were going to do now. He had nowhere to go, and you didn't want to kick him out, but he was still a stranger. Even though he had lived in your head rent free for years already. You told him first things first; he had to get into different clothes. Which he agreed to. You did some digging and found some sweatpants you had bought online years ago, which turned out way too big for you, and you had forgotten to return it, which came in handy now. Unfortunately, the sweatpants were pastel pink, and Sihtric clenched his jaw, exhaling sharply as he grabbed them out of your hands. You snorted, and to make it worse, the only thing you owned which he would possibly fit in, was a matching sleeveless crop top.

'No,' Sihtric said sternly, looking at the top you held in your hands.

'Guess you're not brave enough for me then,' you taunted.

Sihtric huffed and snatched the shirt out of your hands. You pointed him towards your bathroom, where he stayed for quite a while, simply admiring every foreign object before he even thought of changing clothes. And when he finally walked out, you thought you were going to pass out again.

He had untangled his previously braided hair, wearing it down now, which you loved so much, all while wearing that sleeveless crop top, which barely covered half of his insanely toned upper body. And the matching sweatpants hung on his hips, low enough to reveal he wasn't wearing any underwear, which made sense, as you had no underwear that would possibly fit him.

He raked his fingers through his hair, exposing even more of his trained torso when he did, and every single filthy thought you ever had about that man crossed your mind at once. You desperately tried to shake your thoughts and took him back into your living room, where you sat down and simply talked. He wanted to know all about you, and even though he didn't understand a lot of the things you mentioned, he knew he was going to marry you. Somehow.

Later you made him dinner and as promised, Sihtric slept on the couch. And you had to fight the desperate urge to find him in the night and lure him into your bed, which Sihtric would have gladly allowed to happen.

A few days passed and Sihtric seemed to adapt decently. He was not as dumb as Uhtred and Finan always made him seem, but he was definitely as clumsy as expected. Knocking over drinks, breaking small objects which he wanted to look at but his hands were too rough, things like that. But you couldn't give a shit, you were madly in love with him, and you couldn't wait for him to break you-... your bed.

Sihtric was very flirty too, and loved brushing his fingers over your face, arms, or well, anywhere he could really, whenever he could. But he was also a true gentleman, and slept on your couch each night, for nearly a week.

One evening he asked if he could see one of those Last Kingdom episodes you had talked about, and you agreed.

It was still unreal to watch an episode with the one and only Sihtric Kjartansson next to you, and it still felt like a dream. You switched on a random episode, and it happened to be the one where his father, Kjartan, ends up getting killed. At first Sihtric had been watching in awe, amazed that he could relive parts of his life like that.

But when he realised where it was going, his face became more and more deprived of emotions. You noticed it quite late and wanted to switch the tv off once you saw it, just before Kjartan got killed, but Sihtric stopped you by taking your hand in his. And he held your hand tightly as he watched the scene unfold. He showed no emotion, which told you he was more or less at peace with it, but it still was a rough moment to sit through.

When the episode was over, Sihtric looked at you, and you could finally do what you had always wanted to do after seeing Sihtric in that terrible scene; you pulled him in your arms and held him tight.

'Are you okay?' you asked after a moment.

'Yeah,' he said quietly, enjoying the feeling of having his arms around you.

He softly hummed as you brushed your fingers through his long, wavy hair, which was simply another dream come true, and he held you tightly for a long time.

'Can I stay with you?' Sihtric suddenly asked a few evenings later as you had just watched another episode.

'What?' you asked.

'Can I stay here? With you? I mean… I- I like you. I like being here,' he said, 'and, unless we find out how I got here, I have nowhere to go.'

'Y-you want to stay here? With me?' you frowned.

Sihtric wasn't wrong, he truly had no place to go and you also still had no idea how on earth he had gotten here, which you both quickly stopped questioning as it drove you mad. And naturally you wanted him to stay, but it would be a hard thing to explain to your friends and family, who knew all about your (unhealthy) love for Sihtric, who was, until last week, non-existent in the real world.

'I'd like to stay,' Sihtric smiled sweetly at you, 'with you, lady.'

And you just couldn't resist him anymore. With his long, wavy hair, those mismatched eyes, that smile, and the pink crop top he kept wearing once he realised you liked it on him. He did swap the pastel sweatpants for a black one, after you had bought it for him a few days ago. He was simply the most mesmerising man you had ever seen, and before you knew it, your lips crashed together into a heated kiss. And you tore each other's clothes off as fast as you could. You've been waiting years for this dream to become a reality, and you absolutely would live your fantasy to the fullest right now.

Sihtric seemed just as desperate as you, but before he pulled your panties down, you ran to your bedroom. He was still a medieval man, who knows what he caught in those days and you wanted to limit the risk of catching something as much as you could, and also you did not want a baby, yet, so you grabbed a condom. Sihtric frowned at the package, and you quickly understood he had never seen such a thing. You chuckled a little awkwardly and opened the package.

'It's protection,' you explained, but you didn't want to spook him by talking about STDs, knowing he would probably think it's a curse, so you simply said, 'it's so you don't put a child- I mean, pup in my belly,' you frowned a little as you said the ancient words.

'You do not want my pups?' Sihtric asked, and he almost sounded hurt.

'N… I… well,' you cleared your throat, 'not yet,' you admitted.

Sihtric started to ramble and question you, and you politely asked him to stop talking. You asked if he was okay with everything, to which he then nodded with a smirk, and he allowed you to put the condom on him. And the low hums he let out when you did so, were enough to turn your insides into jelly, and the pressure between your thighs was immense and unbearable. And as you wanted to take your hands off him, he quickly held onto your arm, keeping your hand in place.

'Please,' Sihtric said with big, darkened eyes and a sly smile.

And you understood he seemed to like the feeling of your hand working his length. You had to admit, all those fanfic writers did not lie about his size; you had nothing to complain about here. God, the way you enjoyed having this man on your couch, completely naked, except for the Mjölnir pendant around his neck, with his head thrown back as he smiled while soft moans escaped his slightly parted lips, enjoying the way you made him feel. And it didn't take long before Sihtric came, and the sound of his low groan was pure bliss to your ears, and even more arousing than you already had expected it to be.

After a short moment, Sihtric was quick to push you up and make you sit back against the couch. He kneeled down in front of you, on the floor, and he carefully spread your legs with a smirk. He threw one leg over his broad shoulder, and before you could grasp that your wildest fantasy was coming true, his face was already buried between your thighs. He nipped your sensitive skin with his lips before he softly kissed your wet folds, followed by running his tongue over your core, making you exhale sharply as your hands found his hair. Your body trembled in no time as he sucked, kissed and licked your clit, as if you were the most delicious thing he had ever tasted in his life. And just like Sihtric, it didn't take long before you came with a desperate moan, pulling his hair to which he groaned.

You both ended up laughing softly as Sihtric sat back next to you, giving you some time to recover, while you both realised how insane this was. But in less than a minute he already took your face in his hands and pulled you closer, wanting to kiss you like there was no tomorrow. And as soon as you felt like you could take him again, you climbed on his lap, to which Sihtric smirked. He watched you with half open eyes as he bit down on his lip. His hands settled on your hips while yours found support by holding onto his muscular shoulders. His body was even more impressive than you imagined, and you cursed Netflix for never giving the audience a shirtless Sihtric scene.

And then you finally sank down on his cock, you both gasped at the feeling, hands desperately squeezing and scratching each other to display pleasure. And Sihtric was vocal, moaning and cursing with a smile as he enjoyed the way you were riding him, his eyes fixated on you, darting between your eyes, your lips, your breasts and down to your core, loving the view of how you took his length.

'Gods,' he moaned, out of breath, and then he hummed with a light chuckle.

'Fuck,' you muttered under your breath, digging your nails in his shoulders as you tried your hardest to not finish right there and then.

'Hm, I want to fill you up,' Sihtric whispered with ragged breath, and your attempt to not finish before him was to no avail, as his words were enough to make you cry out his name while your walls clenched around his throbbing cock.

'Fuck, sorry,' you said, panting, riding out your own high while feeling a little embarrassed you finished so fast.

But to your surprise, and pleasure, you felt Sihtric's grip on your hips tighten up and he let out another hard, deep groan as he threw his head back, finishing only moments after you, just as he had hoped he would. You both tried to catch your breath as you embraced each other for a little while. Then you took a shower together and dressed in some comfy clothes. You grabbed a few drinks and some snacks, and made your way into your bedroom, telling Sihtric to come with you. And on your bed, you'd talk and joke around for hours, if you weren't too busy kissing each other or cuddling that is.

'If you had the chance,' you asked, hours later, as Sihtric held you in his arms, 'would you go back home?'

'Only if you'd go back with me,' he said, without any hesitation or doubt, and he squeezed you a little tighter against his chest, 'but if you wish to stay here, then I will stay here, even if I could go back.'

'Why?' you asked, surprised but happy to hear his answer, and you felt a little emotional all of the sudden.

'Because,' Sihtric smiled, moving up a little to look into your eyes, 'because I like you,' he lovingly brushed his fingers over your cheek, 'I have lived my life there, back home,' he said, 'there's not much there for me anymore. I would rather stay here and have you, have someone to take care of and to provide for, then going back without you and just… feel alone again at night.'

'I love you,' you suddenly blurted out.

Sihtric's jaw dropped slightly as he looked at you with big eyes, and then he smiled softly, 'I love you too,' he said, 'and I just want to be wherever you are.'

'Sihtric,' you whispered, cupping his cheeks as you stared into the warrior's vulnerable eyes, 'I will simply follow you anywhere you decide to go.'

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flavor-of-the-week-writing · 10 months

Text

Coffee and Regret • Lip Gallagher

Pairing: Lip Gallagher x Reader

Tags: Angst, reference to past relationship

Notes: References Season 8 Episode 12. Does anyone even still write for this? I don’t know, I just started rewatching Shameless and this poor baby…

- - - - - - -

“So… you slept with her?” You pinch the bridge of your nose, eyes shut tight as you struggle to adjust to the sudden brightness of the overhead kitchen light. Lip sinks down in his chair, his head held in his hands, elbows propped up on the island.

“Yeah.”

“And she told you she loved you?” You shake your head a little, trying to clear some of the fuzziness from your tired mind.

“Yep.” His fingers tighten in the curly locks. The coffee pot began making the familiar and comforting bubbling sound as the sweet scent of caffeine began filling the kitchen.

“And you said it back?”

“Yep.”

“But you don’t?” You grabbed two mugs out of the cabinet, setting them on the counter with a soft ‘clink’.

- - - - - - -

“No. Maybe. I… I don’t know,” Lip sighed, defeat clear on his features. You gave him a sort of crooked half-smile, the kind you only ever gave him when it was obvious he fucked up but you didn’t wanna say it. You yawned as you filled the mugs with coffee, taking in his exhausted expression.

“Huh…”

You slid a cup of coffee over to him, taking a seat on your own stool next to his and taking a long drink of the bitter-sweet liquid.

“Huh?” Lip repeated, mocking the sound. “This is the part where you say something, I don’t know… helpful?”

“I don’t know what to say,” you defended yourself quickly. “Sounds like a mess.”

“Wow.” Lip raises his upper lip in a kind of snarl, his tone becoming sharper. “Thanks for the observation, captain fuckin’ obvious.”

“Hey, don’t be an asshole to me. I told you not to get involved.” You sit back in your chair, the mug held tightly in your palms.

“Yeah, well…” Lip rolls his eyes, the knuckles of his balled up fist hitting softly on the counter as he thinks. “I got involved, anyway.”

“And that’s not my problem. Sierra fucks up your head and you know that.” You regret the statement as soon as you say it, knowing it’s always been a sensitive topic. Lips eyes snap up to you, narrowing slightly.

“It’s not her fault.”

“Look, I’m not blaming her,” you shrug, folding your arms across your chest. “I’m just saying when you’re around her you lose your shit.”

“I didn’t lose my shit!” His tone is harsh, snapping the words in an icy venom. You recoil slightly with a sarcastic scoff.

“Nah, you’re obviously cool, Lip. That’s why you’re in my kitchen at,” you pause to look at the clock on the microwave, “3:42am.”

Lip deflates even further, instantly regretting his tone. He runs his hand harshly across his face.

“I’m sorry, ok?” His voice softens, sad blue eyes avoiding your gaze. “I just… I didn’t know what to do and it was either come here or a bar.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you picked here.” You hesitate for a moment, sighing finally when you decides to just be honest. “You want my opinion?”

Lip nods - barely, but it’s there.

“If you loved her, like… really, truly loved her… you wouldn’t be questioning it.”

Deep down he knows you’re right. Guilt bubbles up in his chest and he has to swallow it down before he starts crying right there.

“I don’t wanna hurt her.” His voice is quiet. Weak, almost. You slide your stool closer to him, trying to offer some sort of comfort in your presence.

“I know you don’t,” you nod softly and place one hand on his back, the other wrapped around his bicep in a form of side-hug. “But not being honest with her is going to hurt more in the long run.”

Silence hangs thick in the air as he contemplates your words.

“I want a fuckin’ drink,” Lip laughs softly, an almost self-deprecating quality to it. He knows it must sound redundant at this point, how many times he’s shown up in your kitchen, confiding in you just how much he wants to drink and forget his problems.

“How about some creamer in your coffee?”

He snorts softly at the suggestion but nods.

“Yeah. Ok.” Lip pushes his mug closer to you, watching the little splashes of creamer and the swirls of the coffee. He sighs deeply, running his hand roughly through his hair. “Shit was never this complicated with you.”

“Yes it was,” you scoff and raise a brow at him. “You have a terrible memory if you think it wasn’t complicated with us.”

#lip Gallagher #lip Gallagher x reader #lip Gallagher x you #lip Gallagher x oc #shameless #lip Gallagher fan fiction #lip Gallagher angst #lip Gallagher oneshot #lip Gallagher blurb #lip Gallagher fanfic #shameless fan fiction #shameless fanfic #shameless angst #shameless oneshot

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flutishly · 5 months

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Note: This post includes no specific spoilers for Star Trek: Prodigy, though it does mention thematic aspects of two episodes in the first half of season 1.

Now that Star Trek: Prodigy is back streaming, I obviously had to rewatch my favorite episode - one of my favorite Star Trek episodes of all time, frankly - "Time Amok". And it's funny how even though I've watched it numerous times since it first aired, it still makes me cry and it still fills my heart entirely. But then I did something I've never actually done, and went on to watching the next episode ("A Moral Star, part 1"). Though I'd rewatched that episode separately, I'd not seen it immediately following "Time Amok" and I hadn't realized just how seamlessly the two fit together. "A Moral Star, part 1" is in my opinion another of the stronger episodes of season 1, with intrigue and cleverness abound, alongside heart and its persistent message and moral core.

Prodigy is a show about learning to become Starfleet, about growing into Star Trek. It's a children's show in as much as it's about children - notably, children from outside of the Federation's sphere of influence - becoming convinced of the virtues of this Federation, of Starfleet as an exploratory body and source of good in the galaxy. Not because anyone forced them to or even expected it of them, but because they want to do good and hold by those values. "Time Amok" is my favorite episode of season 1 because of its story, its exquisitely tragic happy ending, and the way it manages to do so much character work in so short a time. But "A Moral Star" (both parts) maybe best represents what both Prodigy and Star Trek as a whole should be. The fact is that the episode about characters coming into their own - as a team and as individuals - is necessary to lead into the one where they can work together to uphold Federation ideals.

Anyways, go watch Star Trek: Prodigy if you haven't already (and even if you've never watched any other Star Trek). It's great.

#star trek #star trek: prodigy #longer thoughts #star trek prodigy #episode analyses #thematic explorations

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erwinsvow · 2 months

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I know this isn’t the usual speed around here but slightly pathetic whimpery s1 Rafe is to die for!! He’s obviously cocky and entitled but it’s in a more spoiled and almost bratty way so he throws his little temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way… I think s1 has seriously overlooked toxic Rafe potential

- 💓

wait i know im allllll about season 2 rafe like hes loml seriously but i just started rewatching season 1 and i dont like his hair lol but hes so toxic and gross. i know everyone on here has been talking more about him and like fratboy rafe and i usually refrain but something about being his gf through all of season 1..... im hornee.

in particular im thinking of like how he acts so douchey with everyone in public but its so visible he has a huge soft spot for you.. waves you over when he's just hanging out with his friends to check in that you're doing okay, goes and gets you a fresh drink before giving you a kiss and sending you off back to ur friends.. makes some gross comment about how you were screaming for him in the back of his truck last night after you walk away... kelce is like bro. i always sit in the back.

you'd be lurking in his bedroom when he goes down to 'have a chat' with his dad, like when he gets yelled at about the generators. comes back all angry and literally folds you in half and fucks you until you cry because you are his favorite way to calm down <3 ... (i have no idea what the vibes on this blog are and i dont wanna make people mad but he gets so manipulative... esp if you're just like i don't feeling like fucking again right now or esp in public!!!! which he looooves.... starts going on a tangent about how he provides for you and takes care of you and he's the man of the house and if he needs to relax you should be on your knees already.... sorry omg if ur reading this n youre starting to hate me i apologize in advance. i never talk about scummy scummy rafe but hes real and hes so hot. fully wants you to be like a hyperactive horny bunny just waiting for his dick at all times.... i would 110% start doing it too... ANYWAYS)

he's so spoiled so he likes spoiling you with anything you want... most of the stuff he gets you is pretty much for him tho... gets hard because you wear an RC necklace.. lots of pretty lingerie and babydolls that he likes to rip up...handcuffs because duh.. it's almost always you in the handcuffs but every once in a while he can be convinced to get in them lol

but the temper tantrums are soooo real like especially if you're out with friends or made plans with your parents. like he seriously loves making you abandon your plans to come see him. but then youll show up and hes at a party and selling or ignoring you and ofc you cry because it's like he made you come here and not even giving you any attention... then he'll drag you out by your hair and fuck you SOOO mean in the back of his truck talkin about "just needed this dick, yeah? s'okay, dad's gonna give it to ya hard. then you'll be good as gold won'tya?" ugh. hes so mean.

im still in my rewatch but the scene where him and topper beat up pope:( this especially hits sooo hard w my pogue reader but i can just imagine that being the cause of your first real fight, like you're so upset he can be that cruel but there goes his manipulation tactics.. telling you he needs to be a proactive man to protect you and his friends and his turf. he's not letting anyone walk all over him, regardless if you like them or not. fucks you until you forget all about your pogue friends, and then you end up bandaging his bloody hand for him.

ooohh and when they go to that movie showing.. can just imagine curling up on a lawnchair with him under a blanket, him n the boys are on high alert for jj and pope but he keeps a tight arm around you, goes and gets you a soda and popcorn which you two share.. you don't want him to leave and you whine when he does.. can just imagine the scene where jj and pope turn back to look at him when kie tells them rafe is right behind them. rafe is staring so hard at them while ur tryna feed him a piece of popcorn. LOL

#waiiiit i love you babe you just made me actually want to write for s1 rafe. bye HAH #do you prefer like these long winded explanations or a real full on drabble in reply?#love u !#📮 asks #💓 anon

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piercedmysoul · 5 months

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i just finished rewatching the second season of doctor who and im absolutely devastated like i am every time.

like doomsday is some of the most heartbreaking television i have ever seen it gets me so bad every time. they build up this complicated relationship between rose and the doctor for TWO SEASONS!!! they flirt and he tells her more and more (including that he was a father once!!!) she starts to even learn how to operate the tardis almost. she picks up on his mannerisms and behavior and knowledge (for example at the beginning of the doomsday ep when she's threatening the daleks and doesnt even flinch..), she even saves him on multiple occasions and he trusts he FULLY. he finally has a real ally. she promises him multiple times she will be with him forever and she means it and he accepts it. he has an EQUAL. she gives this whole speech too about how he's all alone out there saving the universe and needs someone by his side and how she wants and needs to be that someone. they care about each other so much. he almost tells her he loves her in the satans pit. they obviously care about and love each other so fucking much. and i have never seen the doctor cry. i can't remember if he cries in the seasons after that but IF he does its very rarely. and he cries when he loses rose.

that moment when she was reaching for the lever and he knew what was going to happen, you could see the pure fear on his face.

he made her like that tho. they kept hinting at it with all the shots of her learning how to drive the tardis and saving him and solving things before him and acting like him. she became just like him and thats what made their end. because she knew getting to that lever was dangerous but she did it anyway bc thats what the doctor would have done. and she refused to leave him too.

and then she fell into the parallel universe anyway and got taken away from him forever. (sort of)

and they didn't even let him say it back to her. she said she loves him and he wanted to say it back but he disappeared before he could say it and thats the most devastating moment of it all because they couldn't even give him that. and then he cried. he never cries.

and when she was talking about leading a normal life and he said "thats the one adventure i cant go on" like i feel sick.

they were perfect for each other. she learned so much and taught him so much and they were perfect. and now shes gone and he has to move on.

its just pure devastation. that is such a sad ending for them. it breaks me every single time.

#and watching this when im older hits even harder bc now i can see all the foreshadowing and writing and nuances and symbolism #and it hurts even more #i think no one can fully understand me as a person if they havent seen the first two seasons of doctor who.#i know this has been said a million times probably but its such an incredible story #sighhhh #doctor who #tenrose #rose tyler #tenth doctor

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tarisilmarwen · 11 months

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Rebels Rewatch: “Empire Day”/“Gathering Forces”

It’s the midwinter two-parter where Shit Gets Real and I realized for the first time, “Oh. Oh this show is playing for keeps.”

I don’t envy TV writers, I really don’t. It is a hard-ass balance sometimes between serialized and episodic entries, which is what most media seems to want to be, as opposed to completely serialized or completely episodic.

(The difference being that full episodic shows are “Jump in any time, there’s no overarching plot, you can just be here for the ride.” and serialized shows rely on you watching nearly every single episode to understand the continuity.)

What a lot of kids shows will do, I’ve found, to strike that balance, will be to have mostly episodic disconnected episodes (”fillers”) with a few “event” episodes here and there to advance the plot. (For the best example I can think of, see 2003′s Teen Titans, majority episodic with a handful of plot arc episodes.)

Rebels is... not quite that because as I’ve said I really don’t consider any of these lead-up episodes “filler”; they’ve all contributed in some fashion to the overall Season One plot, all been woven pretty tightly, a testament to the strength of the writing.

It’s hard to know how to classify Rebels. The episodes are independent enough that you can miss a handful and still have the general plot but truly episodic writing doesn’t bother to reference the events of previous episodes, or--especially in the case of kid cartoons--keep character growth in place across the seasons. Rebels falls closer to Avatar: The Last Airbender in that regard, no surprise given the creative crossover behind the scenes.

All of this is sort of a roundabout way to say I was not expecting us to get into some really serious meaty plot developments seven episodes in.

[Insert Palpatine’s “A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.” as you please.]

It was really quite a delight to see Rebels striking out with such confidence at big dramatic events early on, and it sticks the landing excellently.

Anyway, apologies for that long rambling prelude, let’s get into the episode proper.

Jhothal always seems a lot smaller in wide shots than it does on ground level. It throws me.

Sabine is in a much better mood this episode and also seems... unusually interested in what Ezra and Kanan are doing.

She looks very purposefully to the side as she’s following Zeb, takes her helmet off, and stares across the field towards them. Eyes soft, lips slightly pinched.

Recall if you will that one of the music tracks in the finale is called “Sabine Sees Ezra”. It’s a bit of an undercurrent theme and visual motif with them. She sees him. She’s always kind of quietly watching, observing, noticing things with and about him. Something I’ve always loved about their interactions is that for all the stubborn walls she has around her own emotions she’s always very dialed in and attuned to Ezra and how he’s feeling. (And vice-versa.)

More to develop on that end later in the episode. :)

ALSO NO ONE TOUCH ME WITH THE KANERA “You could always see me.” PARALLELS IMMA CRY GKGFSKJH.

Dropping in closer on Kanan and Ezra’s Jedi lesson, and Kanan is trying to teach one of most core fundamental principals of the Force, via a bit of practical Beast Control.

“Step outside yourself.” “Make a connection.” “You’re not alone.” “You’re connected to every living thing in the universe.” “You have to let your guard down.”

It recalls Obi-Wan’s “Reach out with your feelings.” In order for Ezra to progress any further in his training, he has to be able to reach out and connect with the Force. But to do that, he has to let down his self-protective walls and be vulnerable and open, he has to be at peace within himself, he can’t have a messy ball of unprocessed emotions and traumas tangled up inside him.

The Force is your ally, but you have to be open to it. Let go of the past, of your fears and whatever is holding you back, and make the connection.

It would be a hard enough lesson on a normal day, let alone one this significant for Ezra.

But he’s trying, dammit.

Love that all it takes is a stern, “Excuse me?” from Kanan for Ezra to back down from his outburst and apologize, and explain why he’s having trouble with this particular lesson.

Remember what I said about Ezra’s tendency to hug his arms self-protectively when he’s feeling insecure?

Yeah.

Also, for no particular reason, Loth-kitty meows:

CUUUUUUUUUTE. <3333

Kanan can tell that something’s up with his padawan, and probes. And Ezra, unlike a certain other emotionally constipated character we could mention (*COUGHANAKINCOUGH*), doesn’t deflect but apologizes again and explains that Empire Day is never a good day for him.

Before we can learn the significance of why, exactly, the plot arrives. Heralded by the opening notes of the Imperial March and just a bit of the Death Star leitmotif. (An interesting choice. An oblique allusion to the idea or element of a theft of secret Imperial plans perhaps? Tseebo stole valuable information about future construction projects from the Empire and needs to be smuggled to the Rebellion after all.)

Love this shot of Ezra starting to reach for his slingshot.

And this is a new music cue and I like it!

Wow, that TIE pilot just smacked away the drink Jho just made for him, rude.

Not gonna lie, Ezra has a really nice death glare. Do not get this boy angry.

No really, don’t, it uh... involves the Dark Side.

Imperial propaganda hooray! Palpatine using old archival footage of himself pre-wrinklification for the holonet broadcast here, projecting himself as haler-looking than he actually is.

Given that Trayvis is actually an Imperial plant, I wonder if his encouraging the citizenry to make trouble was actually a ploy at getting Rebel cells to reveal themselves by protesting.

Kanan letting Ezra go be alone and decline to participate in the shenanigans is remarkably understanding.

Luke’s theme excerpt and then... oh shoot, I know this one but I can’t remember where in the OT score it is. I think it’s part of the end credits? Fittingly melancholy anyway.

Ezra kept his old house key. :(

And there’s his theme piping in here.

We know his parents are still alive at this point so this bit is either Force-assisted memory recall of things they said in the past, or the Force taking their voices on to gently spur Ezra into action.

Either way the Force is basically nudging him with a toe like, “C’mon... have character growth.“

I want to know whose idea it was to make the Imperial March into a diagetic (in-universe) song and tweak the harmonies into major key to turn it into a jaunty parade tune because that was genius.

“Governor Pryce sends her regrets.” Lololol that bitch doesn’t regret ditching her backwater homeworld for a minute, she’s probably already schmoozing with Thrawn right now.

Budget constraints showing just a little bit in the copy/pasted extras there. (The money went towards the animation in the second half of the two-parter I’ll bet lol.) Fortunately they don’t linger long on the shot.

Rudor about to have his day ruined personally again. XD

Okay some of the budget probably went into the firework effects, let’s be honest.

It’s so pretty.

Kanan acting drunk to diffuse suspicion is both hilarious and hurtful given the whole former alcoholic thing.

Ezra pretending Kanan is his dad. <3333333

Sabine sounding genuinely concerned when she asks where Ezra went, which immediately makes him light up and tease her. And Zeb’s the one that scoffs about it, interestingly.

After the events of “Breaking Ranks”, it seems like the Inquisitorius has figured out the Spectre Cell stays pretty close to home base on Lothal and since Grand was already there he’s been lurking.

Man, if Zeb could’ve just aimed a little lower...

Hard to tell what the black marks on Ezra’s house are. Some of it looks like graffiti but some of looks like carbon scoring. Or age? Mold? Cracks? IDK.

Either way this whole scene hurts.

Ezra bluntly talking about the sterile facts of his past while shunting away any attempt to go into how he feels about it emotionally. And meanwhile Kanan is just all:

*CONCERNED DAD NOISES*

Sabine, meanwhile, gets this wonderfully understated look of dismay when Tseebo reveals that it’s Ezra’s birthday.

I kind of wonder if Ezra maybe has a touch of psychometry? Because him touching significant items like the disc and his house key and hearing voices from the past through the Force seems awfully like he’s experiencing Force Echos.

Fanficcers please write more Cal and Ezra meeting okay, I need it.

One of the biggest questions I still have about Ephraim and Mira is, did they know? Could they tell? I like to think they did. I know it probably wouldn’t matter either way, they still would have spoken out, but I like the extra angst it generates. Speculating about the fraught conversations they must’ve had--If they speak up will they paint a bigger target on his head? How long can they hide it? What could they do to make sure he’s safe should the worst happen to them?

Fanficcers please write Mira and Ephraim escaping with Ezra on The Path AUs, again, I need it.

Sabine makes her way down to call Ezra back up, asks about the disk, and my gosh she has such pretty concerned expressions this episode.

I adore her for this. Ezra dismisses the disc as probably only having one of his parents’ broadcasts on it and she pockets it anyway, takes a look at what’s on it later. Was it curiosity or was she hoping to find something encouraging on it to cheer him up with? Or maybe both?

OH WOW I NEVER PICKED UP ON THE EMPIRE HAVING BLUEPRINTS AND PLANS FOR AN UPGRADED T-7 ION DISRUPTOR. T-8S, A WHOLE BRAND NEW MODEL. THAT’S HORRIFYING.

The “five year plan” for Lothal and every other Outer Rim world pinged fandom’s alarms like right away, because Rebels starts five years before the Battle of Yavin, so again, we were all assuming Death Star shenanigans. Given the whole scope of the show and the construction modules in orbit by the finale I still think it fits.

Since a bunch of other worlds were involved as well, the “five year plan” could very easily be the timeline of when certain milestones of the station needed to be completed, how much raw material needed to come from where and when it needed to be delivered, what parts get built over various worlds, and how many TIEs needed to be manufactured to outfit it.

As the episode established earlier, Lothal is heavily involved in the development and construction of new kinds of TIEs. Thrawn probably advocated for his Defenders to be made there because of the convenience of the existing factory infrastructure.

That and the fact that there’s a Jedi Temple and an apparently inordinate amount of Force Sensitive kids, and the kyber shipment they disrupted earlier, and Lothal was definitely also supplying kyber crystals for the laser.

LOLOL Tseebo running into walls like a glitching NPC.

Whew the transports are pretty sturdy, it just sheered off the AT-DP’s foot and upended another transport there.

Ezra’s laugh right here is so pure.

I’ve always wondered... where exactly does this highway go?

Underrated Papa Wolf Kanan moment: Kanan just smacking this bike trooper into the wall and wailing on him when he dares to raise a fist towards Ezra.

Oh! And followed by him yanking that same bike trooper wholecloth out of the transport with the Force and yeeting him into the other one.

*sees bike troopers smack into the street light poles* Oh they dead. They 100% dead.

Takes like five shots from the Ghost to upend that pursuing transport, man these things are sturdy.

Holy crap the lighting in this sequence, did y’all notice???

Kanan’s badass leap onto the ramp. <33333

“I have to man to nose guns!” And yet! The moment she hears something happening back inside the room with Ezra she turns around.

Stays in the doorway long enough to translate. And immediately realizes the significance of it.

Cut to black TO BE CONTINUED, I think I might have actually given an indignant Big No the first time I watched this.

One downside of this rewatch, I am noticing all the little moments where character pathways through the Ghost aren’t in cohesion with the actual ship layout.

Inside the galley, and Sabine has still not gone and got on the nose gun despite how supposedly urgent that is lol. Hera has to yell at her over the comms.

And then Ezra has to poke her about it as well. But she shoots back because dammit he has a chance to get closure about his past traumas, possibly reconcile with and see his parents again why is he not immediately jumping on this? Doesn’t he know what she would give to have the same chance?

Ezra insists, through gritted teeth, that he already knows they’re dead, but there’s a flash of vulnerable uncertainty in his eyes.

But he won’t budge, he won’t talk about it, not to Sabine, not yet, and snaps at her to go, giving her his best death glare. She’s stung a moment but finally gets moving.

But as soon as she’s gone the glare drops off his face and he turns around and shakes Tseebo for the answers and oh my gosh the fear and hurt flickering across his face here sfksjfhk.

Instead of answering, Tseebo starts babbling apologies, because apparently Ezra’s parents entrusted him with looking after Ezra and, for whatever reason, Tseebo couldn’t or wouldn’t take Ezra in.

I know I keep gushing about the animation for people’s expressions on this show but seriously, just watch Ezra’s face here, look at the disgust when Tseebo asks Ezra to forgive him, the tiny jerky little head movements.

He’s so hurt. And it’s understandable, but it’s the reason why he’s blocked, why he can’t connect.

The Ghost, meanwhile has been trying to outrun TIEs and get into the clear long enough to make hyperspace calculations this whole time. Modern Disney Lucasfilm sometimes has trouble remembering the franchise’s own technical lore and rules so I’m always appreciative when a writer remembers them.

Ezra does his best repair job to the navicomputer (even though it’s not his specialty) but implant-enhanced Tseebo is the one who actually saves the day, finishing the job in seconds and uploading coordinates directly into the computer. If that’s what those cybernetic implants are capable of, no wonder the Empire’s fond of them.

Ezra plasters on a smile and hides behind his trademark snark to cope.

Side commentary on technical lore and mechanics because *plays the ~“Everything TLJ did, Rebels did better”~ record on a loop* the way ship tracking usually works in Star Wars is that your tracking device will send out a ping once the ship it’s attached to exits hyperspace, which assumedly beams out your location to the receiver. You can’t track through hyperspace. You can travel in hyperspace along the same general trajectory you saw the target ship leaving in (because hyperspace lanes are a thing) but you won’t know where it is specifically until it drops out to realspace, whereupon you can adjust your course accordingly.

The big thing in Last Jedi was supposed to be “Oh no, the Empire First Order can track us through hyperspace, we literally can’t escape them!“ which would have been a neat twist if Rebels had not literally already done that first and better. The plot device here in Rebels is small, unobtrusive, and can easily be installed by an ace pilot with great aim or by a saboteur who knows all the good hiding spots on a vessel. (Speaking of, was there ever actually a spy in the Resistance Fleet I don’t know if that was ever followed up on?) It’s not overcomplicated, and it accomplishes the same general effect.

TLJ on the other hand...

...Yeah I’m not going into that mess.

Tl:dr- I cannot stress enough how it’s really really important for your writers to talk to each other.

Off that tangent now.

The first thing we’re treated to in this scene is Sabine and Ezra playing I’m Not Looking At You.

(But I Totally Am)

Sabine’s silent concern is palpable, but she stays quiet. Kanan, the other person who knows why Ezra’s upset, on the other hand, comes right out and grills Ezra directly.

And Ezra chooses to hide in one of his nicked cadet helmets. (That Sabine painted for him.)

Kanan dishes more Basic Jedi Lessons 101: You have to be honest about what you’re feeling. The Jedi practice a common therapy technique called mindfulness, which is all about being aware of your thoughts and feelings and why you’re feeling that way. Mindfulness is important to help Jedi keep themselves in check, keep a level head about things, and understand themselves, which in turn is what enables them to understand and use the Force. Serenity within self leads to serenity with the universe.

Needless to say, Ezra--with all his messy complicated feelings, unprocessed trauma, and layers of denial and defensiveness--is having trouble with that right now. His sharp, “What’s that supposed to mean?!” recalls Anakin in The Phantom Menace, irritably asking the Council, “What does that got to do with anything?”, about the fear of loss they can sense festering inside him.

Kanan discerns the truth, that in spite of what Ezra claims, he does have empathy for Tseebo. This bit recalls Ezra in the pilot, vehemently denying that he cares about anyone but himself while the selfless heartbeat of the Light still quietly pulses through him.

Ezra points out the reasons he shouldn’t care about Tseebo and that’s when Sabine stands up with her theory that Tseebo volunteered for the implant specifically to make up for all that, and set things right.

That conversation is interrupted--yet again, it’s a running trend with them--by Tseebo announcing that they’re being tracked through hyperspace.

The crew confirm this in the next scene and lore appreciation moment, remembering that forcible ejection from hyperspace is violent and dangerous and could very well destroy your ship.

And also CONTINUITY APPRECIATION, we’re gonna drop by the fyrnocks again! :D

And hinting at the idea that some of the Inquisitors (Grand at least) can track Jedi across distance. (One wonders if this was how Fifth and Seventh kept finding them.)

Ezra decides to go sulk in the kitchen and Sabine seeks him out.

God I love this scene.

Sabine asks him if he really thinks his parents are dead, Ezra confesses he doesn’t know (more honest already!) but acts like it doesn’t matter and Sabine gets unusually agitated, pushing for Ezra to talk to Tseebo before he goes.

She’s almost personally offended by Ezra’s seeming lack of desire for closure.

(It’s because she understands how much it hurts.)

Don’t mind me I’m just looking at their pretty faces.

Hngl, this is such a wonderful moment of Ezra being guarded and yet vulnerable. He couldn’t let himself believe his parents would come save him, or he wouldn’t have been strong enough to survive, and this is the part I think Sabine relates to. She probably had to do something similar after her own family cut her loose.

She still doesn’t want him to leave things unresolved, though, urges him silently with her eyes right here.

HELLO SAD FINALE THEMATIC PARALLEL FEELS HOW YA DOIN’?

Kanan has to stop Sabine from arguing further with small subtle hand gesture, and it’s only then that she backs down.

It’s been pretty quiet in the score up until this scene, but this cue is interesting. It sounds like a disjointed, fragmented variation on Ezra’s theme, soured, quiet, and hesitant, the melody barely breaking over the background strings.

“Strap in.” To what, Kanan? These seats don’t have restraints.

Subtle animation appreciation moment: The way Ezra puts a hand over his face apprehensively in the background while Kanan’s talking.

Love how Rebels depicts forcible ejection from hyperspace.

Yeah some of the skimped budget from last episode definitely went into this sequence. XD

The music track we heard associated with the fyrnocks back in “Out of Darkness” creeps back in, returning us mentally right back there.

And Kanan tells Ezra he’s basically throwing him in the deep end, revisiting the lesson he was trying to teach last episode, only in a more mortal peril context. Fly or Die, as the trope goes.

A bit of undue pressure on Ezra? Maybe. But also, Kanan was not going to let anything bad happen to Ezra. But he has to put Ezra in a situation where there’s the appearance of no other option, to blunt force his way into a breakthrough. It the same thing he would do down the line with Sabine, to help her work through the mental block that was preventing her from committing to the darksaber.

Ezra timidly confesses that he’s afraid and Kanan praises him for admitting it, HNGL THEY’RE BOTH ALREADY SUCH GOOD JEDI AND THEY DON’T KNOW IT.

I love this scene I love this scene I love this scene SO MUCH.

First off! The animation is really pretty in an understated way, not so much about the colors or light/dark balance (though the eerie glowing effect of the fyrnock eyes in the darkness is great) but again, the character animation and how much emotion and story it tells.

Ezra nervously peeking as he tries to connect, the panic that hits his eyes as his head whips around, realizing they’re surrounded.

Second! This scene is so cathartic.

Kanan is already right there, ready to step in and take over.

Pushing at Ezra to mentally work through why he’s afraid, what he’s afraid of. To let go.

Let go of the fear, the anger, the hurt, let go of all the barriers preventing you from reaching out.

And Ezra realizes he’s not afraid of the creatures, he’s afraid of the truth, afraid to face that potential loss all over again. The Force ring sound effect chimes out, across the galaxy Tseebo’s mind suddenly clears and...

Ezra’s unique ability to connect, blocked by fear and unlocked through forgiveness.

Kanan looks so proud asgaksjh.

(A little bit astonished it worked so well too. Lol.)

Back with Hera, dropping Tseebo off with the Rebellion, and a nice little bit of a follow-through with Sabine asking snarkily if they can meet Fulcrum now and being quietly disappointed but accepting when Hera says no.

It’s really sweet how Tseebo wasn’t even trying to access Imperial secrets, he just wanted to find his friends. <333

Hera hears what Tseebo knows but because of the semi-episodic nature of this show (and certain plot developments later in the episode), the answers to that mystery are tabled until Season Two, when it’s revealed that Kanan and Hera have been looking for the Bridgers the whole time.

Oh but because they didn’t tell Ezra they were looking that means they were keeping secrets and that makes them horrible peop--*shot*

And now it’s time for my other other favorite scene of this episode. :)

The rhythmic percussion of an Imperial leitmotif accompanies Grand’s arrival at Fort Anaxes, flaring into the chorals of the Inquisitor’s theme. Grand looks suitably intimidating.

Between episodes he’s apparently received instructions to take them in alive, as opposed to “Rise of the Old Masters” when he was happily ready to just kill them.

‘Course personally I think whether or not an Inquisitor kills you right away versus captures you for Mustafar depends largely on their mood in the moment.

Surprise!

Once again, connected through the Force, Kanan and Ezra move perfectly in sync, mirror-matching each other’s pose, expressions, and movement.

The soundtrack flares with a new melody here, overlayed over the chorals of Grand’s intimidating leitmotif. Kanan fares a LOT better this round, lighter on his feet, deflecting, redirecting the Inquisitor’s force and momentum, more confident in his Soresu.

Please appreciate how serene Ezra looks here with me.

The Grand Inquisitor still quickly overpowers Kanan, temporarily knocking him out of the fight.

Ezra’s eyes snap open and he rushes over, effortlessly Force Pull-ing Kanan’s saber to him (he’s already come so far from when he started!) and steps in front of the Inquisitor bravely.

*YOINK*

hetried.jpeg

Frick this is such a good shot.

Also not to run off into the weeds here but... given what happens moments later I kind of think this red-blue contrast is deliberate color symbolism.

They put Ezra on the literal ledge of a cliff for his big Dark Side moment after all.

Ungh this moment has such GOOD ANIMATION I can’t do it justice with the screencaps at all.

Just how the Force ring sound effect kind of goes off tune and all the tiny little rocks and pebbles start floating up and absolute icy fury in Ezra’s eyes, the feral way his mouth and shoulders curl, how tightly he clenches his teeth and fists, the way the great big mama fyrnock rises up from behind him...

Kanan’s soft horror. :(

Ezra’s movements almost mirror the fyrnocks, his eyes flare when it roars, he practically vibrates with rage beside it.

Even the Inquisitor is like, “Huh. Okay. Ooops.”

Ezra sics the mama on Grand, struggles to hold onto the overwhelming rush of Dark Side energy flowing through him for a moment, and then he loses his grip on it, eyes rolling up and falling over, senseless. And the loose pebbles drop just as lifelessly to the ground.

Something to point out, Ezra tapping into the Dark Side here was dangerous primarily because his body literally physically could not handle it.

Like, even leaving aside all the other hazards of tapping into the Dark Side, that’s horrifying.

Ezra, wide open to the Force, couldn’t control his fear and anger and lashed out, left himself vulnerable. The Dark Side rushed in and dumped a lot of raw power through him when he wasn’t ready for it (because it’s fast easy access to a lot of power very quickly, at the cost of yourself), and his body gave out and rejected it.

The junior novelization of this episode confirms that for a moment or two after this, when Kanan goes to check on him, Ezra wasn’t breathing.

No wonder the poor man looks so worried and frightened.

Can’t emphasize this enough, Ezra almost died. The Dark Side almost killed him the first time he touched it.

Aaaaand that is why the Jedi teach mindfulness and emotional control. XD If you aren’t in control of your emotions when you tap into the Force, your emotions will control and then consume you.

Subtle animation appreciation moment: Kanan holding his side from where the Inquisitor kicked him as he runs up to Ezra.

Kanan books it for the Phantom with his fortunately-still-breathing padawan as the soundtrack tolls with pounding bass notes of doom, leaving the Inquisitor pissed and foreshadowing the reason why he later drops himself into a ship reactor.

Cue this heartwarming conversation between our boys, in which Kanan once again feel waaaay out of his depth, scrambling just to keep ahead of Ezra as his abilities grow by leaps and bounds, and realizing just how unprepared they both are for this.

Kanan doesn’t even judge Ezra for tapping into the Dark Side or yell at him or scold him or anything, speaking gently and taking the blame on himself instead for not warning Ezra properly.

Ezra’s Troubled Fetal Position this whole conversation hurts. He looks so small. T_T

Hera sounds really relieved that they’re all right.

And Sabine’s brows noticeably pinch with worry when she spots Ezra. The smile falls right off her face.

Ezra goes to be alone in the nose gun and Sabine approaches him, commiserating about how it’s been “a rough couple of days” before gifting him with something:

The disc that Ezra dismissed, that she picked up anyway and took a look at, and then painstakingly cleaned up simply because Ezra was having a really bad birthday and she wanted to make it a little better.

The warm lighting is really pretty in this scene. Soft and comforting. This moment always feels like a calming balm after the drama of the episode.

I dare any of y’all to find another moment when Sabine’s smile is this tender and sweet.

Her prettiest smiles always seem reserved for him.

And it’s just what he needs to cheer up and feel better, look at him he’s practically glowing.

Ezra’s theme, mellow and warm, closes us out of course.

Gah, this two-parter is some of my favorite material of the season. Seven episodes in (eight if you count “Spark of Rebellion” as two) and there’s already been so much character development and growth, so much backstory, so many unveiled layers and depths to this crew; they’ve been put through the wringer and come out stronger.

Some of the best animation of Season One is in the climax of “Gathering Forces”, which is a serious No Context Signature Scene candidate. Every time I look at it there’s something new to notice.

I think this was the last episode I watched for my first initial binge and boy it was not enough to stop here.

(Fortunately the husband had waited until he could buy the whole first season on home video, no months-long hiatus involved. :) )

I dunno if I even have anything else to say, these episodes are amazing, I love them, I love how Kanan and Ezra’s relationship grows, I love the Sabezra moments, I love the animation and the tightly-written story, I love all of it.

It’s great.

The highlights of the season continue tomorrow!

#star wars #star wars rebels #ezra bridger #sabezra #space dad and his precious pumpkin child #rebels rewatch #liveblog #~everything tlj did rebels did better~#~rebels did everything better than you~

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astriddestelle · 7 months

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The way I was obsessed with enemies to lovers/rivals to lovers as a kid 😭😭😭 my top pairings growing up ranked. Canon/Fanon included.

Can you tell I’ve been on a nostalgic rewatch.

1. Logan/Quinn from Zoey 101. The OG teenbop enemies to lovers omg I stan. When they pronounced their love for each other at the season finale at the prom, screaming crying throwing up. The way they get together is so random lmao he calls her hot and they kiss then Michael rides by on a horse like what? But the pay off and ending was so *chefs kiss*

2. Courtney/Duncan from TDI. They were everything to me and Cartoon Network ruined it. First season the bantering, the flirting. When I tell you I was hooked. The scream I scrumpt when they finally kissed (also me didn’t she just throw up but whatever I guess) then she left and it was all downhill from there.

3. Rose/Jake from ADJL. The Romeo and Juliet of this paring needs to be studied. They were so down bad for each other. When Jake found out she was huntsgirl then when she found out. Their first kiss being right before she had to ‘kill’ him for sport in an arena. Her giving up her life to keep him and his family safe, him giving up her to keep her safe. 😭😭😭 they don’t make em like they used too

4. Draco/Harry from HP. The ship that started it all. Before this I’d never read a slash fic before is it even still called that. Anyways this right here is my longest going ship I’m still into only reason it’s not higher is that I love the other ones more. You get so many variations of this, from the super toxic fic, to the I’ve always secretly loved you, to the meet up after the war is over and so on and so forth. Ugh I love it. There’s like 50,000 fics of them on a03 and I know I’ve read like half at least 🤣

5. Zuko/Katara from Avatar. My second non canon ship on here. When I tell you I was obsessed with them. Sigh then I discovered other fandoms and by the time I came back to them I was just done. Which I think comes fromm just not being as much of a Zuko fan anymore. This ship was gold, tho, I mean come on I’ll save you from the pirates how can I not. The way he jumped in front of her (obviously he’d do the same for everyone but like listen it ate down bad) the whole crystal caverns episode was fuel to the fire, the writers/creators knew what they were doing

6. Jake/Miley from Hannah Montana. Another OG omg she hated him so much. The flirty the snark then they had to kiss and both of em were like oh hot damn. They were so cute together and I will forever hate Disney for making her choose Jake just for him to cheat on her like what was the reason. What was the reason 😭😭

7. Alejandro/Heather from TDI. Woo child buckle up. This is one of those slowburns cause it’s not until like a quarter in to the season you’re like hold up. Are they going where I think they’re going and then they did. I don’t like the ending cause seriously wtf was the point. But the lead up and bruh the stuck in a hole song I still sing that on a daily. They were literally made for each other.

8. Chad/Sonny from Sonny with a Chance: one thing about Disney they ate down when it comes to enemies to lovers, or annoyance to like, whatever you wanna call it. Chad Dylan Cooper and Sonny omg the drama was beautiful, they hated each other so much and when they started dating I bout passed out. Lol they were so hilarious together I miss it.

9. Raven/Beastboy from TT. This and next two aren’t super enemies to lovers, more live annoyances or belligerent sexual tension. But I really was obsessed with this, like I was the girl reading Terra bashing fics 😭😭 they were so cute, the Beast Within was ship gold, Nevermore, the fact that she holds onto to the penny he gives her when she ‘dies’ and oh he only turns into the Beast again to protect her from Slade and never again. Beautiful

10. Jimmy/Cindy from JN. They may have only been nine but sheesh the rivalry to lovers or in this case crushes was intense. Cindy was down bad since day one but she hid that shit so well. The Valentine’s Day episode still makes me giggle like a kid. And the last episode where they’re legit just straight up flirting with each other I can not. When she almost confesses when he’s the orange hulk. So cute.

Honarary mentions:

Jinx/Kid Flash from TT. They were cute but I hated it solely for the fact that it shoulda been me 😭😭🤧🤧

Sam/Freddie from icarly. Ok so I used to love this one and as I got older, Sam was just so fucking mean that I couldn’t ship like damn. At some point it’s not cute anymore, it’s just down right abusive, early seasons yes, later seasons where they’re actually together no.

Bakugo/Deku simply cause some days I think it’s cute other days I hate it

Mindy and Josh from Drake and Josh. Cute and amusing but didn’t care for em much.

Bailey and Code from Suite Life on Deck see above.

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zuppizup · 2 years

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Hi hello I have a weird question because Netflix is a bitch and won't let me take screenshots while in the app. Do you think it's possible if you could get some caps of the hug scene at the end after the group is all hugging? Between when Ez and Soren joined and then before Zym joined? I was staring at that scene cuz it made me rayllum heart almost cry, and Rayla and Callum just look so, so happy and content there. Probably mainly to have their first tender moment in 2 years, and with their other two favorite boys with them. To top it all off, Callum is really digging into the hug. So much so that I'm pretty sure he's only hugging Rayla with his head buried in her neck, while Rayla has an arm around Ez and the other firmly around Callum. And has her head against him when she's not looking at other stuff. It just makes my heart so fucking happy to see that after how (very understandably) hurt Callum was this season. How he said he was so happy to see her bad but also mad and felt weird in general. And how it was clear that he wanted to be close with her but didn't really know how d/t his mixed emotions. But the end seemed to make him realize that he really truly still loves Rayla and was beyond happy and relieved that she came back alive and okay. And lept on her to give her the biggest and longest and deepest hug we've probably seen and Rayla was so happy and content about it too. It just makes me so fuckin happy to see them hug like that this season, especially when seeing how tightly Callum (the mad/truly hurt one of the 2) hugged Rayla and buried his head into her neck and just seemed to refuse to let her go (until Zym decided to add to the joy). Oh boy I went on a tangent here didn't I. I'm too soft rn after finishing the season a second time and rewatching that scene A Lot lol. Anyway, do you think you'd be able to get some screenshots of the parts where Callum and Rayla hug real deeply while in the group? It just makes me so damn happy to see and I dunno how I can truly get them myself cuz netflix is rude. But if nah, it's all good. Either way, thank you for all the content you make and share. It's so great and I love having the other screenshots/gifs and I really appreciate your content a lot. ❤❤

Aw, thank you so much! You’re too kind! 😊

Those hugs were precious! The little nuzzle legit broke me. When TDP does it’s micro-expressions, it does them well!

I hope this is why you were looking for.

(Bonus Stella reading the room and giving the gang space).

(Zym not so much)

Also, I made another gif of the Rayllum hug. Because… look at it.

#thanks for the ask!#damn Netflix and the black screen!#the dragon prince #tdp #rayllum #rayla #callum #soren #ezran #zym #azymondias #tdp stella #tdp spoilers #tdp season 4 spoilers

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aprillikesthings · 4 months

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I am still a little obsessed with this

I had an idea for a Catradora fic like a year ago and ugggh I'd need to rewatch the whole show to do it any justice and I dunno if I have the patience

Anyway have some barely-edited info-dumping I did last March in a tiny discord server for a completely different cartoon ship*:

The other night when I couldn't sleep it occurred to me that there could/should be a very realistic fic out there of catra and adora, after the events of the last season, having a very passionate but over-dramatic relationship for a couple of years, then breaking up and getting back together multiple times before one or both of them decides Actually, we have to break up, for real, we are slowly killing each other over this; and one of them moves away and they both get therapy of some kind and both try dating other people but it just isn't working out (I can absolutely see Adora in a relationship that's perfectly fine and healthy but also boring as fuck, and her just thinking: huh, I guess normal people are supposed to feel like this? but it just feels like it's missing something, but the thing it's missing might just be a lot of arguing and crying and make-up sex, so like, I should just. stop missing that. probably. And Catra ending up in a bunch of short-term things where all of them end with either the other person going dude you are in love with someone else and I can tell or her feeling guilty and breaking it off bc the other person is obviously more into her than vice-versa)

And anyway after like ten years or something they see each other but one or both is still dating someone else and it's like ha ha our younger days were SOMETHING ELSE weren't they, oh did you get therapy oh good me too, I'm glad you're doing well, nice to bump into you :) but they're both internally screaming because yeah those feelings are Still There, fuck fuck fuck

The current partner of whichever of them dumps them bc "you're still in love with your ex" but neither of them say why the dump happened and the dumped one doesn't say anything to the other, which means they hear about it through the grapevine, and their heart goes YOOOOO and their brain goes "I thought we were actually done with this and being Good about it fuck fuck fuck" and theyre both :) still normal to each other :) all the time :)

PINING I love pining hhh lol

But yeah there's, I dunno. A party? with a lot of people? maybe they each have one (1) drink, not even enough to impair them, and the next thing you know they're making out in a closet or something somewhere, and then one or both of them is crying hysterically, and after a lot of talking they're like, I want to try again. But as actual adults who've had time to grow up and have a lot of therapy. So they do, and it's good, and all their friends are like Oh thank god you two are both the stupidest motherfuckers on earth.

Halfway through the first post I realized I am half re-writing one of my fave Sherlock fics but putting it on top of She-Ra characters and adapting it to spop's plot but it'S JUST A GOOD STORy and honestly how it would actually happen

Because they were SO YOUNG in the show and neither of them had ever seen a healthy relationship modeled, ever, by anyone; and they're both heavily traumatized on top of it. And love isn't always be enough to deal with all of that. It's just not.

Me: this would make a good romance novel if we could file off the serial numbers

Also me: it's only interesting to me because it's THESE CHARACTERS like how the fuck would you include the backstory lolol

My dumb brain is like, "look I know spop ended three years ago and also, this is obviously the kind of story that AN ACTUAL ADULT writes, generally speaking; so nobody would read it, but what if you spent a year writing this"

But also half the plot feels like it's lifted from The Speed of Objects in Motion by holyfant (linked above) which is still, easily, one of my top-two Sherlock fics of all time, bc it's just so painfully realistic--they do end up together again at the end, but there's a lot off off-again/on-again and arguing and then a few years they're not together in the meantime

Anyway, re: spop: Fate and destiny are great but real happily ever afters would be so hard with everything that lead up to the end of the series

------------

>:( at myself for being like "oh it would take a year to write this" bc if I had actually done it I would be done by now pfffffft

(*Amedot)

#april writes #ehhhh I am not fandom-tagging this

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esta-elavaris · 2 months

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Hi!

Sooooo, I was wallowing in self pity because there was no HWFG (no pressure to write or update! I just can’t be normal about that story) so I went to check your ao3 and was surprised to see that you’re a fellow James Norrington truther! It inspired me to rewatch the first two pirates of the Caribbean movies and I kinda fell into the norrington rabbit hole again.

That made me read fallen through time and I honestly became OBSESSED so when I was done with the chapters you posted for that story I immediately turned to catch the wind and,,,,,,, [insert unhinged meme about ripping out guts]. I started reading it on Saturday and I couldn’t put it down so I read through two nights and am now tired as fuck, sitting at work, trying to appear busy while still reading your story. What have you done to me!!! I just read the wedding night chapter (I’m going insane, that had no business being so hot???) and honestly, that was so rewarding? Very well written smut aside, the slow burn was soooo good and there were moments where I had actual tears in my eyes??? Theo’s pain when she overheard Elizabeth accepting James‘ proposal? AH!!!! I adore their relationship. The banter, the soft moments, their conflict, their quiet conversations (though I must say I maybe even like it more in fallen through time? He’s just so mean, suspicious and stupid at times in that one, I live for that). I feel like theyre the definition of „she fell first, he fell harder“ and at one point i was really reminded of something I’ve read elsewhere… it was something like „you’re looking at me with purpose“ and that’s just so spot on for James? He’s so devoted to her it makes my heart melt.

On that note, it’s so impressive how much research you’ve done?! And how much thought you’ve put into everything? It’s not easy to write for that time period (I say as a person with two degrees in history lol), especially when it comes to balancing the cultural differences between norrington and Theo? That made everything even more fun to read.

And it’s so impressive how you manage to have this story follow the events of the movies but for it to never become boring or repetitive? You manage to capture the characters we all know and love so well while also making them your own. Your James, of course, is spot on, but also Elizabeth and will? And in all honesty, I maybe like your jack sparrow more than the canon one. He serves as comic relief so much that you sometimes forget he’s a seasoned pirate and much more intelligent, provident and even dangerous than one might think. He feels much more human in your story in my opinion. And that moment where he returns to Tortuga and confronts Theo about the cannibals? I laughed so loud that my bf woke up lol

Okay so I’ll stop rambling now, I just wanted to drop by to tell you how much I love your work and how glad I am that I checked out your norrington/theo stuff. Theo is amazing and I love them both so much. My boss just left the building and I sure will spend the rest of my time at work today reading, they don’t pay me enough anyway. I so hope that her attempt at changing James’ fate will work out and I’m very anxious but also excited to find out where this all goes!

Sending love and appreciation from Germany!

I know I'm on a tumblr break but this is too nice and it has me crying too much to leave it to gather dust in my inbox 🫠🫠🫠

Thank you so so so so SO much!!!

Honestly Catch the Wind will always have a special place in my heart (the people who have sat and watched me continue to talk about it ~14 months after it was finished are like "we know, babe") because I wrote it like, being somewhat fond of Norrington but mostly to get the idea for a Boromir fic out of my system, and instead I ended up sick over Norrington and still writing the Boromir fic anyway. Buuut I mean I got my favourite project so far out of it so I can't complain, I just laugh at how I played myself. Tbf tho, it was a great thing because POTC was a great stepping stone towards even more intimidating LOTR territory!

I'm so glad the smut was decent, too! That was the first story I've ever written it for and I was so nervous about it 💀 I do completely agree with your view on Theo and James as a couple though - the falling first/harder, and the "you're looking at me with purpose" both. I just don't think he'd ever be the type to get complacent. He's not a man who lays on the charm to win the girl, before thinking "what's the point in continuing to try?" once he "has" her. I see him as being such a ride or die, insanely loyal, "that is my WIFE", Gomez Addams coded guy, I love him for it. Those sitcom coded jokes where a guy hates his wife the second he marries her would be the very opposite of his kind of thing. That's why I had so much fun giving him that back in Theo, considering Elizabeth doesn't return his feelings in the movies.

And I mean, I don't think he's owed that from her and I don't think less of her for not returning those feelings, she can't help it (although I do raise my eyebrows at anybody who'd choose Will over The Noz, but people are allowed to be wrong ig), and I think if anything it'd be worse if she did marry him in the end without having that same level of feeling, but it was just so nice to give him someone as dedicated to him as he was to her in Theodora 🥹 I also think Boromir has a lot of that in him, so I'm very excited about his future with Sybil.

I'm also so thrilled to hear the research went appreciated - a lot of it was very fun, like if I hadn't done an Eng Lit/Creative Writing degree, I would've gone into history (I actually almost did do a second degree in history but the funding didn't work out, so I stick to just reading a lot, which I'm cool with), and like most of it was fun, but there were times when I was googling a) the origin of the coffee table, and b) 18th century equivalents of a coffee table/accent table at 4am for the sake of one throwaway line where I did wonder about my path in life. I swear, I deep-dived into it in the notes usually because I at least wanted to make it clear when I had done my research vs when I was knowingly deviating (a few unknowing mistakes did slip through but I think how much research otherwise went into it kind of makes people more willing to overlook a mistake here and there?) but also because it meant I could get more out of said research binges than just one unnoticeable line in a random paragraph 🤡

And JACK. God. I could write a dissertation on Jack. What they do to his character in movies 4/5 are 90% of the reason I don't like them and have only seen them once each. The other 10% is that uhhh they're just crap. Like it's so, so clear in the first three - mainly because of JD's fab acting - that the eccentric thing masks a lot of intelligence and cunning. He'll do his whole "weirdo" shtick, and I don't even think it's entirely an act, I think he is truly eccentric to an extent, but there'll just be these really brief moments where there's just a gleam in his eye, or he'll be suddenly serious for 0.5 seconds and you see what's going on behind the mask, and you realise it is a mask. Whereas in 4/5 it turns into a thing of "idiot who bumbles around and finds his way by sheer luck", which was never what he was in the trilogy.

I also think his crew's reaction to him shows that he is more than willing to be a hardass captain when it comes to it - the moment off of the top of my head is when Cotton's parrot goes "walk the plank" in movie two and his gun is immediately out and he's not happy and they all kinda startle a bit. But even without glimpses like that, like, they're pirates. If he was weak, and he wasn't willing to be stern and not take shit, they wouldn't follow him, and he wouldn't be half as infamous as he is. They know he's odd, but it's clear they respect him, so he must have earned that respect.

He was the one I was most scared of having to write going into this thing (along with Barbossa and Beckett), because he's so easy to get wrong. I'm always so, so thrilled when I hear I did him justice!

Okay, I have written you an entire dissertation here, so I'll stop now and just say again THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!! 💜💜💜 I've read this like ten times since I first received it, it had me grinning like an idiot every single time, I'm so grateful -- and I hope you like what I have in store for HWFG! The wait shouldn't be tooo long, I'm taking April off of posting but not writing, so ideally I'll have something to post in the very beginning of May!

(and I'll reply to your other ask in a bit, I just wanted to make it clear I wasn't ignoring this!!)

#asks #CTW #james/theodora #dissertation!lucy strikes again

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rocketturtle4 · 7 months

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Rules: List 10 of your comfort shows, then tag 10 people

Tagged by @sorry-bonebag and @shouldiusemyname TY very much tag games are so fun! (sorry it's taken me a while to get too!)

I read "comfort shows" and my brain stalled out. Like define comfort? Am I sick? Am I sad and in need of cheering up? Am I angry? Am I hurt? Am I tired? Am i overtired? Am I emotional? What negative emotional state am in dang it??

I started this list thinking there wouldnt be many BL or wider Asian shows but then I remembered prior to this year I almost never watched TV...so it's Asian focused after all! (I went no books allowed or it would have been 3/4 books lol)

Added later: I remembered anime and I have no idea what to do because it's gonna sweep the list...okay, 1 anime per category.

Also I tend to be a CHRONIC rewatcher (Or rereader) even when not in need of comfort so the sheer amount of New content I have consumed this year boggles my mind and is definitely a break from tradition so I am not quite sure yet how much of it is going to stay with me...

But anyway I am using some categories to help

First up: Comfort when I'm sick/run down/tired:

Being sick tends to leave me too tired to read and very much desiring not to use my brain more than necessary so, Shows that gives me the warm fuzzies:

1. Ascendence of A Bookworm - Just sneaking past two others who jostle for the top spot, this is my favourite anime of all time and is absolutely peak comfort, it's given me three beautiful seasons so far and I continue to sit in quite hope for more

2. SOTUS S I am dying to rewatch this series, the emotional resonance I felt to Arthit's journey all the way through is still possibly the most connected I have felt to any character ever and this soft story of growing love and finding your place in teh world with someone by your side is absolutely peak comfort for me.

3. Sing My Crush or more broadly many Korean BL. Most Korean BL is absolutely my comfort zone, it's soft, warm and fuzzy, it's the shows I watch right before bed to send me off to good dreams. Korean BL is definitely comfort for me, and while Sing My Crush isn't my favourite Korean BL, it's definitely my most comforting so far.

Second: Comfort when I'm sad/hurt/down:

E.g. cheer me up shows:

4. Doctor Who, my favourite tv show of all time remains my favourite cheer me up show. Early to mid of any season to keep crying to a minimum.

5. Avatar the Last Airbender, I don't even think this one needs am explanation.

6. Tonhon Chonlatee (and many other Thai BL) I find a lot of Thai BL pretty funny and I found TC utterly hilarious, I definitely plan to use rewatching this one as a pick me up in the future

7. Crash course in Romance, What's a list without some Kdrama! I am still dying to expand my watchlist with Kdrama's but I have to get through all the BL on it first lol...I'm about to reach 100 BL, maybe I'll make a post about it

(also the anime for this cat is: No Game No Life, so bonus show)

Third: Get me out of my own head

E.g. shows that make me feel a lot (some of the above shows also fit this criteria lol)

8. The Eclipse My equal favourite Thai show (along with SOTUS S) and another one where I felt crazy resonance with a main character. In this case the emotional tone is more intense for me, though It's still definitely comfort!

9. The Irregular at Magic Highschool A.K.A Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei (and various spin offs). The third anime of my top three trifecta and one that also has fed me multiple seasons. This one is such fun but also pretty intense so I love it for a myriad of reasons.

10. Goblin the Great and Lonely God, My favourite Kdrama so far, just beating out crash course in the rankings. Even writing the name leaves me dying to go back and watch it all again.

ahhh @plantsarepeopletoo and @thegalwhorants tag me in your answers since you've already been tagged I'll add...

@sparklyeyedhimbo @visualtaehyun @callipigio and @slayerkitty sorry if you've already done it, and either way no pressure to play!

#tag game #rturts is wondering #I literally thought about this for three days why was it so hard

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gayleviticus · 1 year

Text

8 years after watching the TV ending of FMA 03 for the first time, I finally watched Conqueror of Shamballa for the first time. Tbh I was a little scared of what I’d find – fma 03 was a super special series to me back in 2015, but rewatching it the TV ending felt way more inconclusive and unsatisfying than I remembered.

I knew what would happen in Shamballa from years of scrounging through tv tropes entries and Wikipedia plot summaries, but I didn’t know what it would feel like in practice. I needed something that fulfilled the melancholy, dark, emotional, but hopeful promise of the series. I needed angst and loss and sadness, but not grim-darkness and cruelty just for the sake of it.

Thankfully, I enjoyed Shamballa on the whole. Now, to be sure, it’s undeniably very, very messy. Unlike, say, End of Evangelion or Madoka Rebellion it doesn’t feel like a movie except perhaps towards the end; the new characters introduced like Alfons, Noa, and Eckhart are more interesting thematically than because they’re afforded any particular depth, and the plot mechanics aren’t especially well-crafted (but granted this has always been the case for 03).

It feels like there’s also a ton of incredibly character dynamics they could milk but just don’t have room for – how did it feel for Ed to live with someone who looked so much like his baby brother but just wasn’t the same person? How did Winry feel being left behind forever by her best friends after being locked out of the loop for so long? How did Al losing his memories of the past 5 years and embarking on a quest to bring Ed back shape his relationship with everyone else in Amestris? Did Ed feel guilty that Al ended up throwing his whole life in Amestris away to come be with him on earth? There’s just so many possibilities this movie throws out that could have been explored, and emotional beats (like the brothers reuniting!!) that aren’t used to their full potential.

These are all pretty noticeable flaws. But I also kindve think… it doesn’t matter that much? Don’t get me wrong, I would’ve loved to see an actual proper 13-episode second season fleshing out Shamballa’s boatload of cool ideas, but I think there’s something just as captivating about the huge range of possibilities the movie can’t possibly hope to contain. There are plenty of stories I’ve experienced that do an objectively better job of fleshing out their characters, but it's like… well, you’ve already exhausted their depths. There’s not much left to mine. 03 + Shamballa might not use its characters to their maximum potential, but I think it’s impressive it creates such a firm foundation for its characters that they have that kindve potential in the first place?

(On that note this just makes me curse the fact the 03verse in general has been so neglected by FMA fans even more, bc it just feels like its begging so much for fans to plug these gaps and analyse and dissect and headcanon these characters? But anyway)

Something I was a little torn about at first was the ending – it was more satisfying than TV 03’s awkward mix of open-ended sadness with sickeningly saccharine optimism, but I couldn’t help but feel this awkward sense of hollowness. It was tragedy on the brink of cartharsis, but not quite there. I wanted to cry and mourn everything the Elrics had lost, I wanted angst and conflict between the two of them, I wanted to experience the weight of everything they’ve gone through.

But after thinking about it, I realised that the thing about Shamballa is that it’s not about pain, as such, but specifically ache, and loss.

Doomsday, a Doctor Who episode that aired about a year after Shamballa, is a similar tragedy of people separated forever across parallel world. But it’s a very different type of pain – it’s sharp, acute, sudden. It’s having someone you loved so much so deeply snatched out of your life with no warning, no buildup, barely any chance to say goodbye.

Superficially, Shamballa is similar. In the chaos of Eckhart’s invasion Ed and Al disappear forever into the other side of the gate. But I think it’s very different in that the Elrics aren’t really leaving a specific person behind?

Of course, there’s Winry, and obviously it must hurt for her to lose her best friends since childhood so suddenly. But even then, her life goes on. She loved them so much, and she’ll always remember them – but she’s not a widow sitting at home mourning the death of her husband in the war. She has friends, she has family, she has her career as an automail engineer. Life goes on for Winry. It hurts, but it’ll go on.

Aside from her – well, Izumi’s gone. Rose was friends with Al but didn’t really know Ed. Mustang’s crew clearly care for the boys, but I think for the most part their relationship in 03 is relatively professional. In the end what the boys are cutting off isn’t any individual person in particular, but their past.

And so what Shamballa is about isn’t the sharp, shocking pain of losing a loved one, but the dull, heavy ache of grieving your past. As Ed says at the end, Earth is their world now – not Amestris. They’ve resigned themselves to losing their past, to leaving behind the childhood world of miraculous alchemy and friends and carving a path in the here and now.

It’s the pain of mourning a past that can’t come back, the people you once loved who just aren’t in your life anymore, the innocent childhood you’ll never be able to reclaim. The brothers who once tried to reclaim their stolen innocence through resurrecting their mother have made their peace with living in the here and now – and though they’ve finally found happiness, and paid the price for their original sin, they’ll never forget everything it took to get to this point.

It circles back to what Ed told Rose all the way back at the beginning. Stand up and walk on your own two legs. Keep moving forward. Fight against tragedy, but remember that you cannot rewrite your own past.

The Thule Society and Noa mistook Amestris for Shamballa – a perfect world, a homeland – in their longing for heaven. But no such promised land exists. There’s only the here and now. The Elrics give up their longing for something they never had, accepting heaven is lost, and find their home in themselves.

#fma 03 is so good....#fma 03 #fma #fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist 03 #conqueror of shamballa #fma 03 conqueror of shamballa #edward elric #my posts #alphonse elric #fma 03 spoilers #long post

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