#anyways it's about the solidarity. it's about different experiences but shared looks

[chompe-diem]

on my extrapolating about characters arc so im thinking about. gorgug and riz. do u ever think of them

gorgug who grew up knowing intimately how much he stuck out like a sore thumb. riz who can count all the goblins in elmville on one clawed hand.

riz who hides behind walls and in dark corners because he cannot stand in a crowd and simply blend in; gorgug who wakes up his whole childhood in a room too small. two people who garner attention that they aren't seeking. riz the rogue whose keen eye notices, knows how people will stare if given the opportunity. gorgug who more often than not sits timidly with his headphones on and hands in his hoodie pocket, who hates the stomach flip when someone assumes he must be a barbarian, and hates the fact that he proves them right.

riz and gorgug who are different in their upbringings, but share the same quiet sense of unbelonging, in green skin and craned necks and cruel cruel assumptions

#riz gukgak #gorgug thistlespring #(i didnt finish this post lol but im clearing my drafts. this is from MAY) #anyways it's about the solidarity. it's about different experiences but shared looks #it's about riz being raised second gen and gorgug's transracial struggles #(**third gen? sorry idr exactly ^^') #and they are different they are not the same but together they are less alone. #anyways i remember having more thoughts and headcanons on this but i just would like to post it lol #it's riz growing up knowing he he doesnt fit in with his peers #and gorgug growing up knowing he doesnt fit in at home #riz trying to connect with his heritage in ways that get him looks from strangers who don't understand #and gorgug trying to connect and getting looks from gnomes who don't understand him #do u get what i mean #fantasy racism #<- idk what im supposed 2 tag this so hopefully thats right #fantasy high

[iwantyoursexmp3]

a new lesbian character has entered the dallon literary universe/lover boy sphere

#the lover boy lesbian and gay solidarity is very important to me #i need to read more on lesbian + butch history in sf just generally but i can see beau finding a lot of connection with his lesbian besties #esp w his own identity as a leather gay man + bonding over shared experiences and same feelings experienced differently #i love solidarity i love community etc! #also not to briefly and vaguely comment on tumblr queer discourse but it annoys me how some posts i see take the whole idea of #'blending' within queer identities and how the lines are actually really blurred if ur not chronically online!!! #when its like...when you look at the history you see a lot of really beautiful instances of solidarity and community and sharing culture #that still do that with an understanding of boundaries and differences #but like to me its about how the ways different groups can come together! and the ways they don't! #especially as like. a transmasc who still feels closely connected to their time as a lesbian but doesnt want to be seen AS one anymore #and believes i can have that connection without needing to stay in a space that i no longer see myself a part of. which is okay! #that was a tangent but its been on my mind both w RR/lover boy and my own personal experiences LOL #anyway i think their name is ximena! love when i think about how lovely a name is and then a whole person materialises in my head #thats how half of my character creations go....

[kaurwreck]

I saw your recent headcanon bsd post and honestly you really get the characters (or you get me <3 because i fully agree with them) especially the Atsushi and Dazai one which is practically canon for me. Do you have more Atsushi and Dazai headcanon you can share? I really love it when people talk about those two

I'm so glad the Atsushi and Dazai headcanon resonated with you! I call them headcanons, but they're canon to me; it's my sandbox and I'm building sandcastles.

I don't think I'm articulate enough to adequately express my thoughts about Atsushi and Dazai's relationship, so rather than try, I'm going to share more bulleted snippets of headcanons that hopefully relay the vibes if not the substance.

Atsushi is emotionally brilliant, but has the intellect of an idiot kitten. Dazai is intellectually brilliant, but has the emotional intelligence of an idiot kitten. Nevertheless, Atsushi is NOT self-aware, in the slightest, while Dazai is excruciatingly self-aware. They would devour each other in the wild but are a bonded pair in captivity.

At least once a week, Dazai loses Atsushi at the store and then doesn't listen to the intercom when he's called.

Dazai thrusts himself into the thick of villains and conflicts because the narrative will not let him die, but he can't move it forward from there. Atsushi can and is compelled to, even, because it's the only way he'll survive.

In 55 Minutes, Atsushi indicates that maybe all skills come from elsewhere and are imposed upon us. In that way, he's drawing a parallel between skills and the cultural, societal, temporal, familial influences that construct our understanding of our existence. He's also saying that perhaps what Dazai and Kyouka have going on with their otherness and inability to control their skills is kind of what happens to all of us, just in different ways. This is why he is the protagonist. He does not see separation. He sees people and he sees the constructs and frameworks that people build around themselves, but which they can also deconstruct and rebuild. Dazai isn't convinced he's a person, but Atsushi guilelessly and unwaveringly looks at him and sees a person anyway. He has that effect on others; he did the same thing to Kyouka, and Lucy, and Akutagawa, and even Ango when Ango aimed a gun at Kyouka and Lucy. Worse yet, they see reflections of their personhood in his eyes. It's intoxicating, and enlivening, and frustrating, and terrifyingly vulnerable. Dazai experiences it as absolution. Atsushi experiences it as obvious.

Dazai tries to give Atsushi shaken baby syndrome when Atsushi annoys him, even though Yosano keeps telling him that Atsushi's too old.

Chuuya and Atsushi unabashedly want to love and be loved, it's second nature to them, albeit in different ways. But Akutagawa and Dazai convinced themselves they were perfectly fine not loving and never being loved; up until they met someone who everyone loves, which is so, horribly vexing to them because they're so different and unique and no one understands them and yet here they are, vying for the attention of someone who seems to know something they don't. So, they cope by loving those they love in ways no one else does. Which is to say: like freaks.

Dazai gets involved with Atsushi and Akutagawa not just because they need mentorship or for Atsushi. He's there in solidarity with Akutagawa. Dazai is there because he needs someone who understands the reality of the idiot situation that they got themselves into because they're idiots. Dazai and Akutagawa were both supposed to die young and in abject misery. And yet here they are. Being yanked around by objectively unreasonable people who seem to think they know better. Worse, Dazai knows that he and Akutagawa want to believe them.

Atsushi and Dazai are cat-coded, when the others run it activates their predator instincts.

dazai is so afraid of feeling; he doesn't think you can survive emotion, he thinks emotions exist to trick you or destroy you and that others' expressions of emotions are disingenuous or naive; emotions burn him terribly and he can't imagine it's any different for everyone else. and if it is, then that just further evidences that he's not human after all, that he wasn't built to survive in a world that hurts him so terribly. it's why he's so certain kunikida is going to get swallowed by his ideals. it's why he raised akutagawa in pain and neglect and why he was so disgusted by akutagawa's lack of emotional control. it's why he can't hold onto chuuya for longer than it takes chuuya to fall asleep after corruption. it's why he slapped atsushi and demanded disassociation from him when atsushi started to panic about what he'd done to naomi and haruno. but fyodor is what it looks like when you succumb to that, and chuuya and atsushi and oda are what it looks like when you don't, and as much as dazai thinks he's capable of loving anyone, he loves atsushi and chuuya and oda, all of whom grappled with their own humanity and then elected to be human anyway. and as much as he thinks the others are deluding themselves, and as much as he still believes he's right about humanity's insincerity and insipidity, and since oda asked him just before dying over his own fruitless emotions anyway (although it began before oda asked), dazai has decided he would rather fiercely protect the outcasts who refuse to see their own futility than exert any energy proving himself correct. and if he can bully a reflection of himself in the process thereof, then all the better.

Dazai lies and claims Atsushi is his son for Father's Day discounts. It's so obviously untrue and outlandish that store clerks are too distressed by his thick face to call him out and so he gets away with it. Atsushi plays along because he wants the discounts too.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd atsushi #bsd dazai #bsd headcanons #sskk #skk #shin soukoku #soukoku

[librarycards]

Hello! Sorry if you’ve posted about this somewhere already/if it’s redundant, but I thought your coinage of “transMad” was very cool and I’m wondering what that term means to you? I’m really happy to see other people talking about madness being intertwined w their gender/transness and looking forward to checking out your reading lists :))

thank you so much for asking about one of my favorite things to infodump about!! rather than rehash a bunch of stuff, if it's okay, I'm going to borrow a few quotes from past!me that i've published in different places // offer you some things of mine to read.

broadly, though, i use transMadness as a way to explore the identificatory, epistemological, methodological, and theoretical implications of an orientation (to use Sara Ahmed's term) toward bodymind noncompliance and self/selves-determination. this orientation refuses to delineate diagnostically between Maddened / transed experiences of the world/our many worlds, and instead takes this shared/overlapping ground as a jumping off point for solidarity and speculation - that is, something that allows us to imagine otherwise worlds / make them manifest through creativity and collaboration.

(Ha, and I claimed i wouldn't talk too much...famous autistic last words)

ANYWAY. here are some clips that might help explain more dimensions of transMadness. note that, in my dissertation-in-progress, i'm focusing on xeno/neogender and/as self-diagnostic cultures among queercrip and transMad internet users. i'm interested in the anti-psych liberatory potential of this digital community work, especially as it centers forms of knowledge and scholarship devalued within Academia Proper, especially because so much of it is made by and for disabled, Mad, queer, trans people, esp. youth. Onward to quotes!

On transMad epistemologies: citation/power/knowledge:

I’ll spend most of this piece looking not at what transMad is, but what it does. First and foremost, transMad cites. Even its name alludes to other portmanteaus: neuroqueer and queercrip being the best-known among them. Many people have offered many different (ever-“working”!) definitions of these terms; today, I offer co-coiner Nick Walker’s (2021) definition of neuroqueer: a verb and an adjective “encompass[ing] the queering of neurocognitive norms as well as gender norms” (p. 196). In terms of queercrip, I also return to its coiner, Carrie Sandahl (2003), who for whom the queercrip (as person and as method/movement) confuses the diagnostic gaze, bears sociopolitical witness, and performs glitchful[4], incongruous, confusing in(ter)ventions into possible community. At base, “queer” and “crip” appear as analogous, reclaimed slurs signifying marginalized transgression. When combined, they describe a loop, perhaps a Möbius strip: crip (ani)mates queer, queer tells-on crip. The specter of crip haunts queer—and even more explicitly, as we will see, trans—and the crip(ped) bodymind holds, moves, and fucks queerly. Who knows where “queer” stops and “crip” and “neuro” begin? Likewise, transMad, whose citational style leaves little room for diagnostic clarity amidst a pastiche of noncompliant text.

On transMad epistemologies: multiplicity (h/t @materialisnt):

They encourage us to remove others’ names from our bodies, to reign in unruly citations, to set “boundaries” which violate Mad, crip ethics of care (see Fletcher, 2019). In truth, any framing of individual authorship in which the body text is “mine” and the citations gesture “elsewhere” belie the inherent interdependence of all intellectual life, and particularly of transMad intellectual life. transMad plural scholar mix. alan moss (2022) argues in relation to the pathologization of multiple systems: “all people, indeed all that exists, is a system that itself is constantly enmeshed in several overlapping and interconnected systems.” In short, I am full of Is, and will continue as many more. Just as disability justice helps us understand all life as interdependent and deserving of access, a transMad approach sees our selves as numerous and fuzzy. We have permission to dispense with the need for tidy texts, with our interlocutors, edits, and iterations either obfuscated entirely or exclusively relegated to a bibliography. transMad citation may thus be considered akin to visible mending[6], creating flamboyantly messy, multiplicitous work that does not seek to pass as objective or discrete.

On the value of (crip) failure and/as "virtuality":

Don’t get me wrong: Zoom PhD work is a failing enterprise. That is to say, it is a queercrip, transMad enterprise, which is to say, it is a beautiful, beautiful project. Mitchell, Snyder, and Ware describe such “fortunate failures” in the context of “curricular cripistemologies.”5 Coined by Merri Lisa Johnson, the term “cripistemologies,” refers to “embodied ways of knowing in relation, knowing-with, knowing-alongside, knowing-across-difference, and unknowing,” ways which frequently exist outside the purview of mainstream academia.6 Curricular cripistemologies, then, refer to an intentional, queercrip deviation from normative pedagogical approaches which trades the corrective impulse of “special ed” and other rehabilitative programs, and offers instead a generative noncompliance.7 That is, rather than trying to identify, isolate, and ameliorate difference, curricular cripistemologies lean into difference as it is experienced by disabled students ourselves, querying how atmospheres of in/accessibility shape normative approaches to education and how the embrace of “failure,” not as a last-resort but as a first choice, poses potentially transformative possibilities.

On transMadness and fat liberation: (for @trans-axolotl's Psych Survivor Zine)

A transMad, fat approach to disorderly eating requires making connections with humility and understanding, and, as I discussed above, engaging in compassionate, critical interrogation of our own anti-fatness.

[...]

A transMad, fat, abolitionist politic is one that makes room. We imagine beyond the cage, even if the details of that imagining are not yet clear. Just as we have carved micro-sites of support within violent digital and in-person contexts, just as we have learned to think about our lifeworlds beyond the paradigm of “recovery or death,” we can also reconceptualize fatness not as the enemy, but as another form of bodymind noncompliance in alliance and/or entanglement with disorderly eating practices. For thin disorderly eaters, this requires us to fundamentally challenge the way we view food and embodiment, even while maintaining a Mad respect for alternative ways of approaching reality.

On xenogenders, virtuality, and self-determination:

It is this very “irrationality” –– the “unrealness,” the “you’ve-got-to-be-kiddinghood,” that is most frequently weaponized against xenogenders, as well as their newly-coined sets of xenopronouns. The perceived and actual virtuality of xenogenders is often placed against the notion of “actuality,” in this case, of “real” (or “practical”) genders and pronouns to be used in one’s “real life.” Disabled activists have rightly resisted the distinction between online and (presumed-offline) “real life,” given that this categorically excludes homebound bodyminds, as well as those without IRL social and support circles. That said, I believe the virtual –– as almost, not-quite, proximite, making-do –– is incredibly useful in thinking about xenoidentities as transMad tools –– particularly, as transMad tools of underground collaboration / co-liberation.

[...]

What if gender was a project we wanted to fail? That is, what if trans- was a process not of getting better, not of moving-toward a bodymind more sane, more straight, and more cisheteropatriarchially desirable, but rather a line of flight on a longer trail to illegibility? Indeed, what if we replaced pathology’s narrow “path” with a trail lighted by the language of our comrades, whose linguistic interventions make and break gender in ways heretofore unimaginable? Xenoidentities, both individually and as a trans-gressive M.O., are fundamental to a broader transMad project of crafted, collective illegibility; intersubjective citation (imagine what it feels like for someone to be the gender that you coined!); and collective care that refuses a politics of cure. Crucially both virtual and digital, xenoidentities are furthermore a manifestation of the power of trans, predominantly disabled digital counterpublics, who overturn the hierarchy which places the IRL-real above the digital-unreal, making unruly, Mad space in which (with apologies to Donna Haraway) a hundred xenoselves might bloom.

On Maddening queer "diagnosis":

In her indictment of all “Kwik-Fix Drugs,” Gray further indicates the practice of forced treatment as in and of itself as a project of violent normalization, regardless of specific target or reason. The intentional ambiguity between her narrative of Madness and her narrative of asexuality disrupt mounting demands for a healthy (sanitized, neoliberal, and consumable) queerness. A Mad ace approach identifies these demands as, indeed, comparable with cis heteronormative notions of sexual maturity and responsibility – the idea that participation in culturally-normative sexual practices is a prerequisite for health (Kim, 2011, 481) and thus, personal autonomy (Meerai, Abdillahi, and Poole 2016, 21). By fusing the “lack of sexual appetite” attributed to her medications for bipolar disorder with her asexuality, Gray destabilizes the binary between healthy-sexual-diversity and unhealthy-psychopathology. She is once again disrupting contemporary queer impulses to dissociate from ongoing histories of pathologization. Here, Mad and queer/asexual activism are as inseparable in text as they are in Gray. Gray and her comrades collectively refuse both sexuality-as-“rehabilitation” (See Kim 2011, 486) and asexual acceptance predicated upon normative “health” (Kim 2010, 158) – that is, they Madden asexuality. Twoey, in her own voice, remixes the sources of her own pathologization, staggering the supposedly-divine pronouncement of the DSM across pages and bookending its extracts with her own writing and art. In this undermining of the DSM’s epistemological polish, Gray disrupts the domination of written prose over poetry and visual art, while also critiquing the role of the DSM in commercialized health “care.” Her zine opens with the lines “sex sells and sex is sold / sex was being sold and i didn’t buy” (Gray 2018, n.p.). Gray indicates a pathology perceived not only in a refusal to practice sex, but also in a refusal to buy (into) it. After all, a refusal to buy into existing sexual paradigms is for her also a refusal to buy into a feminized reproductive mandate.

#sector-v #thank you genuinely! #ask #transmad #antipsychiatry #xenogender #epistemology #madness

[jmdbjk]

Bangtan weekly report

Lordt, what a week, what a month, what a year? It's September, we're on the downhill slide.

I've been busy, y'all. You know, life happens and all that crap we say when we have to focus on stuff that's not as fun as staring at the latest naked Bangtan pics... anyway... there is A LOT to process, A LOT to even sit down and catch up on.

Let's break it down shall we?

It was JK's b-day and he first tried to TikTok live us and you know, I hope he can't figure it out to his satisfaction because there's no replay and no translations so fuck TikTok and I mean that in a nice way. Thank god for Armys who record and translate.

And he dropped this tiny but significant TMI:

We know he's building that big whatever it is. It will be a while before he leaves his current residence...or? What? Moving elsewhere until he enlists? He mentioned in one of his more recent past lives that he had to clean up some of his junk in his apartment... soooo.... hmmm....

Also, this:

Acting research? I'm loving the sound of whatever that is.

Thankfully he came to visit us on Weverse live as well, did a few card tricks and cut it short, one of the shortest lives he's done in years and years? Were the aces a hint? Or just part of his magic trick?

Adorable goofball. By the way, the subs are up on this live.

He was out and about before the live, taking pics on the street, he's said he doesn't mind at all, running into fans in public and saying hello.

It's the people who claim to be fans who stalk him and show up uninvited to places where he's trying to live his life in private. Whoever you all are, I'll speak for Kookie. Y'all suck.

In Busan, when he was with his idol friends, they were asked if they were who they were by the restaurant employee and they tried to deny it. That should be a big hint to leave them alone.

Kookie shared a video on his TikTok in solidarity and support of RM speaking out about the uncalled for hate that came RM's way after he posted that song on his Instagram story.

You know... there's been quite a lot of discourse lately about culturally sensitive topics. Tae's "gaffe" and this song that RM shared... I think if you felt offended or uncomfortable when you saw those things happen, those feelings are your own and 100% valid.

Being of Japanese descent, through my life, it has made me cringe when I hear people call stuff "Jap crap" or just yesterday, a canvasser for a political candidate asked me if I was from around here... like... if I was blonde and blue-eyed would they have asked me that? You know? I was speaking to them exactly like I speak here, fully fluent in (Southern U.S. redneck) English because that's my only language (sadly, no thanks to mom and dad because I did not learn Japanese or French). But I don't get obsessed or angry or want to threaten anyone's careers or life. I don't even think about it. And I don't really hold it against people who are not aware of how they come across like that.

People are insensitive all the time without knowing it: asking a woman when they are due but she's not pregnant and maybe can't even have children... mentioning other culturally derogatory terms without realizing it (see "Jap crap" above), saying something looks "gay" like... ok what does that even mean?... you know what I'm saying? I use the term "spirit animal" all the time and someone DM'd me saying it was offensive. So we're all guilty.

I get it, we're all different in how we react. BUT MY FEELINGS ARE VALID TOO, AND MY REACTION IS MY OWN AND DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THE SAME AS YOURS TO YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE.

As I said, feelings are valid, and the members aren't perfect and it's okay to call them out on it. But the extra implication that was piled on Namjoon for that song rec crossed the line and he addressed it in his own live.

Exasperated he explained that it was just a song and that he knows exactly what everyone is saying, that he's a 30 year old man and can express himself freely. He said even if there will still be those who will accuse him of lying, he can't and won't lie to us.

I love him: "For ten years I've held things in my heart but nowadays I can't do that, I have to speak my truth. Believe my own words."

Before he got into it though he offended the mathematicians and then tried to back track (omg I'M JOKING ok?... unless someone got offended... omg, can we just chill?)

His 2-day old stubble and fuzzy headed self.

The obsession people have with their weight and their looks is mind-blowing. The way he's drilled in the comments on his face, his hair, about admitting he's tanning, how much he weighs, what he eats, he looks tired... This man has an IQ of 160 or whatever and people are worried about a mosquito bite on his forehead. The vapidness and shallow level of interaction in the comments knows no limit. But we've known that. Please, before commenting can people please make a list of things to speak on other than how they look?

He closed by saying to trust him, he'll always show us what's inside of him whether its his music or him as a human... life is a journey with a lot of obstacles, he's good and focusing on his own things and not on the bad energy. He is in such a good head space nowadays... love to see it.

Next up, Taehyungie-hyung...dis my fave pic out of everything I've seen so far:

I am not a fan of Tae in blonde hair, I've said that before. But this particular shot is stunning to me, the lighting and angle.

As you know, I've not paid as close attention to Tae. Honestly I've been waiting for him to share things during this solo time so I can get to know him better just like I did with the other members.

Up until now, everything he does seems superficial EXCEPT the deliberate soft reveal of his relationship with Jennie, which I hope they are doing well and navigating the shitty waters of having to be idols in a relationship.

But so far, its photo spread after photo spread and I'm just not into it. Yes, Tae is very photogenic. I'm sure V biases are over the moon. I'm happy for them! If it was Jimin you would be sick of me posting every photo, so I get it! But I was looking for something a little deeper from him.

So it was this Dingo show that his personality opened up a little to me somewhat... interacting with this Army who's dream is to become a Military Officer. She is the cutest thing, her reactions so genuine and I could feel her excitement and how she was overwhelmed at the end of their day together when she broke down. Girl was holding it in and living the life that day!!! Sooo happy she got to experience that!

And these pics are the cutest:

This one right above with her hands on his shoulders... such a precious memory. I am looking forward to hearing the rest of Tae's album. I'm sure I'll have things to say about it at that time.

And that brings me to Jimin. The jikook selca not withstanding, we haven't seen or heard from him in ages so after 2 months, 15 days, 23 hours, 8 minutes and some odd seconds (but who was counting? not me)... we finally see him again in person at a Dior event in Seoul.

He looked so good, except that tan leather coat reminded me of something 50s vintage, car coat over a sheath dress women wore in the springtime. He's small. Let's put a giant white garbage bag on him. Don't know what goes through their minds.

Dior creates some extraordinarily crafted pieces, but so far, I sometimes wonder if they've even bothered to look at any of Jimin's previous photo concepts for other various things. It's almost like they don't know how to dress him. That's just my personal opinion.

Anyway..AND THEN HE COMES LIVE!!! FINALLY!!!

Is that a Red Dragon keyboard he has in front of his computer? I don't really know anything about gaming stuff. And goodness...

He gets comfy by tying up those pants that look like four of him (or him and Kookie) could fit in there at the same time...

His eye crinkles... I don't care what people say about his beakie... I'm all about the eye smile and those eye crinkles that are going to get deeper with time.

Y'all, this is my bias...

That mood light of the realistic solar system makes Jungkookie's mood light look like child's play. But I see why his moons down his back look like they do.

I know some of the first translations say he called Jungkook for his birthday and he talked about wanting to live his 30s just as full as his 20s, and he's learning through his solo work that he has things to learn and he will improve and I just don't have enough or the right words to express how much I love and admire his perseverance and dedication to being the best at what he does and the best human he can be. I will do a full blog post when the official subs are ready later this week.

I don't know how this guy from the other side of the world got so completely under my skin:

I know there was a lot of other content that dropped that I didn't touch on but there aren't enough hours in my day to type it all up. I will just continue to watch and absorb as much as I can just like everyone else.

Jin and Hobi are still plugging away at their respective bases, I always pray for their safety and health while they are doing their duty. In a few months, Jin may show us what it will be like to celebrate birthdays while they are enlisted.

And Yoongi. We wait as the days tick by. We know its coming very soon. Holding my Yoongi bias friend's hand very tightly. We'll get through this together.

#can we talk about the total reversal in JK channeling his inner fem and JM having that big dick energy? #jimin #jungkook #namjoon #taehyung #bts chapter 2 #jin #hobi #yoongi #can life and bangtan hiatus slow down a little so a girl can catch up? #bangtan weekly report

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

This is cringe and annoying but i have nowhere else to go. I used to love going to ren faires and dressing up and having a good time, but im very gnc and always dress like a knight or a ranger or typically male things, not like a fairy or princess or w/e. Anyways, when i went last time, everyone asked for my pronouns, others called me HE, people stuttered and stopped when they saw me.

places like these used to feel like a safe space, like i could dress and be whoever i wanted w no judgement from conservatives bc i am gnc. But now i get so much judgement from liberals and it feels so isolating. I went home sobbing bc i realized that if im gnc in any space now, left or right, i will be seen as a man or trans and not just a female. Thinking about how girls are growing up today with this mindset, realizing that to be a girl means to be feminine, and the only gnc role models they have are going trans.

This is NOT cringe, and it is NOT annoying. Anon, it is completely understandable that you’d find this upsetting and infuriating. I really appreciate you sharing your experience, and you have my sympathy and solidarity.

I’ve had similar experiences, because of how I dress and my choices around my appearance, and I’ve found them upsetting too - either for myself, or for the people who don’t realise how narrow minded they’re being, in inflicting their assumptions on me.

I don’t know if you’ll relate to this, but part of what I find insulting is the implication that I must choose to look and act the way I do out of a desire to be different from who I am - that the only reason a woman would look and act the way I do is because she doesn’t like being a woman, or being herself. When in reality I love being a woman, and not conforming to gender roles and stereotypes, simultaneously. The idea that my motivation must be self-hatred instead of self-love is so reductive and patronising.

If you’re open to advice, I’ve found the key thing that helps me when I get this treatment is laughter. It is absurd, after all. The idea that my choice of what fabric to wrap around my clearly female body sends people into a tailspin reflects so poorly on them that all I can do is pity and laugh. Don’t let them change you though - just because they insist on seeing the world in a binary, doesn’t mean you have to make yourself fit their childish view. It’s good for them to be confronted with their incorrect assumptions - cognitive dissonance is a powerful thing. Sending love xx

[keshetchai]

Hi! I read your replies about ethnicity and I hadn't realized it was defined so broadly. In your readings, would all religious groups be considered ethnicities? Example, I'm ex-Catholic but still consider myself "culturally Catholic" since I was brought up in that environment.

Well, no. Not just "Catholic" alone.

I mean, put it this way: in North America, Catholics specifically syncretized catholicism into existing ethnic identities (ex: mexican-catholic is different from Metis Catholic, and the ethnic identities began to incorporate unique folk catholicism that is specific to these ethnic groups, not universally Catholic. As in, it's all Catholic, but not "catholic.")

OR groups developed ethnic enclaves wherein catholicism was part of their shared identity. (Ex: Italian or Polish neighborhoods in the US tended to emphasize their identity and connections to other Italians and Poles on their basis of their being Catholic. They tended to exclude/other Jews with the same national origins (which is what happened in the "old country" as well, so...this didn't suddenly change).

basically people didn't stop marginalizing people they used to marginalize back home. So a historical neighborhood of Polish Jews was/is often viewed as a Jewish neighborhood, an Ashkenazi Jewish neighborhood, etc, but if you just look for a "polish neighborhood" then the majority of the people there will be polish Catholics and catholicism will play a larger role in the shared polish identity, even though not all Poles are Catholic.

Like if I look up polish neighborhoods and find Chicago's massive polish downtown neighborhood on Wikipedia, it says this:

"this district was not exclusively Polish," and "Italians, Ukrainians, and Jews each possessed their own enclaves within the area."

Which might sound fine but also is revealing of the fact that say, the majority of poles (who were/are a majority Catholic!) didn't see Polish Jews as identical to other Poles. Further, it's very vague — there are Polish, Ukrainian, and Italian Jews. But the ethnic identity of being Polish, Ukrainian, or Italian immigrants in the US wasn't solely defined by country of origin.

So. Could I say that "Polish Catholic" is an ethnic group? I think it's context dependent in some ways: if someone American tells me their family is descended from Italian, or Polish, or Irish immigrants I can usually assume they mean their ancestors were catholic++

and they usually don't identify with being a polish or italian national — instead, they're identifying with the history of x nationals immigrating and developing ethnic enclaves/assimilating or not/and the culture they brought with them as an ethnic group/identity. An Italian American usually identifies as proudly Italian in the sense of a solidarity based on an ethnic identity within the US context, theyre usually not like, identifying with being an Italian national.

But in Italy, surrounded by Italians, the ethnic grouping of "Italian" is pretty unspecific. Are they Latin? Sicilian? Sardinian? (There are roughly 30 languages native to Italy, so it's not like we can go off of "they speak Italian"!)

++ in my singular individual experience: most Jews don't phrase it like this without first establishing some baseline understanding of aforementioned ancestors being jews. by this I mean when I go to the Jewish museum and folks start talking about where their family left in order to come to the US, they might say "my ancestors fled Russia." Or "they came from Ukraine and Lithuania." Because in context it's clear already this is in relation to the Jewish experience. But if you were talking with a group of people who may not all be other Jews or who don't necessarily know you're Jewish, I find people usually don't just say: "My family's polish," they usually instead say "oh my grandparents are Polish Jews," or "my great-grandparents were Jews who left/fled Poland."

...anyways anon I suspect your ex-catholicness has some kind of regional identity beyond that which is a part of your ethnic identity (shared culture, including religion!) but no, being Catholic is not the ethnic identity itself. Especially since catholicism as a religion has a few millennia of espousing universalism beyond ethnic identity and in the earliest church outright rejecting the notion of ethnic belonging to the Jewish people. To the point where a lot of the Greek biblical uses of "ethnos" specifically meant "people who are not-catholic —meaning the heathens and Jews."

So the religion itself is pretty anti-being an ethnic identity but I would say can be a fundamentally big point of community commonality in existing ethnic groups.

[facade]

vent long personal heavy ok

it’s really helpless and crushing how im always cornered back to the same sad answer of how i should have considered the future earlier. my legs are in so much pain, im crying from how much my body aches and im simply told, you shouldn’t have been in your room all day — despite the fact i wasn’t allowed to go outside, and there was seldom walking space in our awful house. i was always sick, and always dizzy. it is crazy how dangerous black mold can be and yet we had a complete infestation of that and more. i want to consider pursuing a career ive had since i was a child though, im so passionate about art and i still am which might be a blessing considering how much commissions are hurting me mentally and perhaps physically .. opening several, several batches a year, constantly cramming them.. i think i want to do college. but i didn’t take on the scholarship i had when i graduated! i didn’t take the aid that covered my first year.. truthfully i didn’t think id make it so far. im insecure, im suicidal, im fragile. the past decade, i could barely get through anything without crying. it was humiliating to exist as i was in middle and highschool due to the living situation i was in, with no money and feeling i had no true support or even solidarity with my own mother, who must have been under much more stress than i was, trying to provide for her child. but still didn’t sympathize with me at all. the situation was hard, but i should have worked harder .. honestly, i do feel selfish for not having taken advantage of my moms effort to keep me in school, but ahhhhhh, i think it was just too much. i didn’t want to live like this. i was ashamed and disgusted, i still feel discomfort associating myself with that life. i cling to childhood and youth and traditions i missed out on because i lacked so much of that routine as a kid. is it so wrong to cry and want to die that you never got to experience a proper, loving christmas like everyone in your schools did ? no toys, no cable, only a tiiiny tiny laptop (like a 2008 chromebook-like thing) to keep me busy.. i wasn’t allowed to go outside of my own house to play with the dog, nor was I allowed to have anyone come over. wasn’t allowed to visit other people’s houses… not like i remember of that much anyways, as i barely remember anything from childhood except mortifying things.. i recently saw a way to connect to my mother by opening up. i confessed to her a lot of things as i was a mute child and never shared anything, never felt comfortable to — about how it affected me, about how i feel like im in stasis. i told her about what happened between me and my father, what happened between me and my brother, and i felt empty when she looked away from me and didn’t answer. No closure or comfort, and simply said that i should have taken advantage of my opportunities when I had them. And i have sabotaged myself. nothing else can explain for my disability, my mental health, and my plummeting education.

It took me 6 years to get an ID. 5 years to get a bank account. I don’t know how to learn how to drive and I am scared but I have to. i cannot go anywhere without someone’s help, primarily hers.

it feels too unfair, and i am still grieving for every year that passes by, even the previous year, that i am still locked in a house. i have never experienced much that i can call positive memories until i went to be with my best friend and my boyfriend. but that just made the memories painful too; when I think about how I have to end the trip. Board the plane or get in the car, and cry about how I have to go back home and be with my mother. it is not normal, to dread going back there so intensely. i wish i had a different life very badly, honestly, but a comfort i have now is that i think i am now strong emotionally and legally that i can make my own plans, manage my own bank, decide who i can visit without the permission of my mother. but. that is not because of my strength, and it is actually because she is sick. and she now has cancer as of september. I feel like i have been held in my mothers arms forced still for an entire two decades and the only reason she’s let go is because she is, her health is not well. And she has prepared me this week, a conversation of where to find her records, her files, her will, her passwords. Everything, if she passes away soon. i want to sleep forever, because i don’t want to wake up to a day wondering if it will happen soon. I don’t want to be in this position. I am scared. I wish I was with people I loved who loved me. i am shaking and sad. I wish I was too drained to cry anymore because I do it too much, for years. I wish I wasn’t such a sad person. I wish I wasn’t so miserable, I wish I had more happier things to think about when people ask me how I am. I feel miserably

I was gifted breath of the wild a couple years ago, now i am finally playing it. it helps i think. i really enjoy it most for the animal interaction and cooking and exploration.

[stormysapphic]

I don't use the term bi lesbian myself, but I am bi sexually and lesbian romantically? when I first saw it I thought that was what people meant? I feel a bit alienated from all the different communities because I'd have to exaggerate or lie/closet parts of myself to fit in. I think micro labels are, broadly speaking, bad but I also think encouraging people to hide parts of themselves is not great? I wish I could just say I'm bi and have that be understood to include my perspective, but I've had some pretty nasty experiences with that being used to exclude me or as an excuse for being cruel within a wlw context, and I guess I understand the impulse to try and stop people from seeing you as that stereotype they think is okay to judge/malign etc when that doesn't reflect your reality. Ultimately I think that that's on other ppl for being biphobic, so I won't cave to that pressure personally. At the same time it would be accurate to say I'm bi, and that I'm gay/lesbian, depending on how you understand those terms, and I can see why someone would want to not have to choose or to be selectively hiding one all the time.

I do just wish we didn't really lean so much on stereotyping/'identity politicals' as a stand in for political action/ understanding identities and each other, I think it may often do a lot of harm and be a way that desire for material political change becomes sublimated/transformed into infighting to the benefit of our oppressors... shrug emoji

that's something i almost included as an aside in my post! the acknowledgement that i do understand people may want to carry "all of themselves" with them all of the time, being "bi lesbians" 100% of the time instead of being a "lesbian" in lesbian contexts and "bi" in bi contexts. however, i wasn't ever really talking about having to do that, having to actually hide yourself/parts of yourself in any situation. take my example of a lesbian support group: when i say that a bi woman could go to a meeting like that and sort of "adopt" the lesbian label while there, i don't mean that they would have to hide that they're actually bi. in my experience, the vast majority of lesbian resources/events/etc. are welcoming of openly bi people... but there most certainly are also those that aren't. and i don't think there's anything wrong with having lesbian-only - or bi-only! - spaces for peer support and such, but if you only have resources to host one thing, it probably should be open to everyone who needs it. anyway, that "centering one of your identities for the time being but still not hiding the other(s)" thing applies to more casual situations too, in my own experience - if i'm hanging out in a group of my bi and lesbian friends and one of us says "look at all of us lesbos <3", everyone present knows who's "actually" bi and not lesbian, but no one (hopefully) has an issue with that remark referring to them as well, in the context of a bunch of wlw having fun together. the bi people present are still fully seen and appreciated as bi (and obviously i wouldn't want to, even casually, call a bi person a lesbian if they felt it was indeed erasing their identity). same way, i can be genderqueer and alternately take on the social role of "woman" or "man" when/if i want to, even if my internal sense of gender is the same throughout (and i mean, you don't necessarily even have to be genderqueer/nonbinary to do that). however, i definitely recognise that my current situation irl (at least for the most part) is very fortunate - i've been able to surround myself with people who share my values, such as wlw solidarity across identities. i'm really sorry that you've faced vitriol and felt like you couldn't be fully yourself in your communities. that's the stuff i'm probably most worried about when it comes to "bi lesbian discourse" - the vitriol between our communities and/or bi lesbians feeling like they don't fit in anywhere anymore just because people who don't know what they're talking about are saying some shit like "if you're dating a man you can never ever ever show up at an event that's labeled 'lesbian' - or, if the event is in fact open to people who date men despite it being a 'lesbian event', then they're in the Wrong too". thanks for sharing your thoughts! <3

#Anonymous #answered

[rainbow--skies]

You know what. I said I wanted to see more positivity and support on my dash this pride month so I’m going to make it myself.

I love you young queers just figuring yourself out and I love you adult queers beginning to have the right you want and I love you older queers who have seen decades of queer history.

I love you queers who came out super young and had themselves all figured out and I love you queers who has a confusing journey and didn’t come out well into adulthood.

I love you queers who are closeted, whether you can’t come out or you just don’t want to.

I love you queers who use “outdated” terms and reclaimed slurs to describe themselves.

I love you lesbians and gay people.

I love you trans people and non-binary people genderqueers, whether or not you transition and no matter what that transition looks like.

I love you bi and pan and omni and polysexual people.

I love you people who are just queer and nothing else.

I love you butches and femmes and studs and twinks and bears and everyone else who uses these terms we have passed down in our community for years and years.

I love you queers who don’t have themselves figured out and questioning people and those who go without any labels at all.

I love you drag queens and drag kings.

I love you queers who take comfort in masculinity or femininity or androgyny and what it personally means to them.

I love you queers who don’t care about being seen as any of those things.

I love you queers who are told they’re too kinky or out there or “unpalatable” for pride and I love you queers who are told they shouldn’t go because their relationship or experience is “straight-passing” and I hope you all go anyway.

I love you asexuals and aromantics and polyamorous people and loveless people and queerplatonic people and aplatonics and anyone else who doesn’t do relationships the way society tells them to.

I love you queers of color who take pride in their culture and their queerness.

I love you queers who are fat and queers who are hairy and queers who otherwise don’t fit the useless beauty standard.

I love you disabled and neurodivergent queers.

I love you allies who aren’t afraid to speak up for your queer friends and partners and children.

I love you queers with dyed hair and piercings and tattoos and wild fashion and I love you queers who dress plainly and get made fun of for “looking straight”.

I love you queers who get made fun of for being queer in a way that’s too weird or “cringe”, even by your own community.

I love you queers who fit the stereotypes cishets imposed on us and I love you queers that don’t.

I love you queers that fit our own community’s stereotypes and in-jokes and I love you queers that don’t.

I love you queers who are married and I love you queers who wish you were and can’t be and I love you queers who don’t care to be married in the first place.

I love you queers who want biological kids and I love you queers that want to adopt or foster and I love you queers who don’t want to be parents at all.

I love you queers who are poor or on minimum wage or can’t work at all.

I love you queers who are sex workers or do other jobs seen as “deviant.”

I love you queers in academia and I love you queers that didn’t even graduate high school.

I love you queers who pour your heart and soul into art and writing and music, whether it’s for your own enjoyment or to share with others.

I love you queers whose identities don’t fit in neat little boxes.

I love you rural queers and city queers and queers who live everywhere in between.

I love you queers who devote your time to studying our history so we can finally see ourselves in the past, in all these people who have long gone unnoticed.

I love you solidarity between queer people with vastly different life experiences.

I love this entire community and all we have accomplished and all the things we still need to do. I’m glad we’re all here.

#rainbow’s mind 24/7 #pride month 2023 #pride month #long post #lgbtq+ #queer #solidarity #lgbtq+ solidarity #queer solidarity #positivity #feel free to add on but if i see any hate or ‘not this group’ type comments you are getting blocked

[bpdxcat]

(not written strictly by "me" but we don't have anywhere else to put this rant and we wanna kinda, share it and keep it? so decided to place it here)

Thinking of how no matter how palatable and "normal" you could be as a system, it wouldn't be enough. Like if you're obnoxious, overly open, overly weird, with unusual parts (alters, aspects, facets, etc), if you have a system aesthetic, a system name, different quirks, well you're sure to get fakeclaimed.

But even if you're not anything like that... well. I don't think you're truly in luck in this case.

I mean, there are people who think they have the "right" system experience go around fakeclaiming anyone who doesn't fit. But people have all kinds of experiences and yeah some of those can be particularly weird or freaky or cringe or whatever... frankly, so what? Let's be honest, experiencing different parts inside one body (or something thats similar to that, or something similar only in appearance) is already generally an "abnormal" experience. And people generally can be pretty weird, freaky, cringe etc. Especially when they decide to be honest and open about some things. I think truthfully people are rarely as "normal" as they appear. It's just that this whole... structure of society, the expectations, rules, it's all pretty oppressive and affects everyone and forces everyone to play nice, or else.

The argument "but these people that are Especially abnormal and open about it give us a bad name" is kinda ehh. This entire experience is already abnormal and unpalatable by itself. Like sure we should strive for being accepted and all that but throwing other people under the bus just because they stand out too much...

Trust me, if people judge you, find you weird, etc, trying to be as "normal" as possible and making yourself small won't fix the issue. If they already want you to fit into a box they're comfortable with, you trying to shove yourself and others into that same box isn't that much of a good idea. You're just hurting the people who are more like you than you think, and you remain a weird freak to the "normal" people anyway. Maybe the only time they'll "accept" you is when you suck up to them super hard and completely minimize your own experience and hide it.

This applies to many other mental health things, disabilities, queer identities, etc. How many times have I seen people say "oh I have an acquaintance who's Actually xyz unlike these fakers/trenders/etc, they're nothing like that, they're just a Normal person, they don't even look like xyz, you'd never know they're xyz, they don't show it and don't shove it into your face, they keep private about it". Is that really such a virtue? Is that really acceptance? It's very conditional and based on you just... hiding who you are. Trying to fit in and blend in. Hiding/ignoring your own experiences, needs and so on. Is that even fair?? And if you stand out of line, you'll most likely get punished for it.

Ofc there are people who are legit like this just because that's how they are, like irl I'm also a very "normal" person outwardly and I hide things real well due to paranoia and plain anxiety. Even online I'm often fairly "normal". That's not the issue. The issue is chasing other people and trying to force them to fit in and not supporting each other, lack of solidarity.

Like I think it's actually very rare if you fully fit in, are fully accepted, and you're truly just fine with it. I'm sorry but I don't think it's bad to be "abnormal" and I support systems (or whoever else) who are obnoxious and cringey and whatnot. Wish I had the guts myself to stand out like that. But I'm just a small gray mouse that keeps hiding.

#diary

[uweiy]

I'm intrigued by Love is Science? but know nothing about it. Can you give me a run down on what kind of thing to expect and who it might appeal to? Thank you!! 😁

Ooooo boi *gremlin smile* I'm glad you asked. You've entered the dragon's den, broken the dam and thus this post turned out to be a monster so I'm gonna link here another post from @accidentallyadramablog which imo gives a nice (and short) overview.

That said let's get into

Love is Science?

Summary :

Yan Fei is a the CEO of the Love is Science marriage agency, that matches people based on scientific data. Hsuan Yu, 8 years younger than her, is a promising young hairstylist who has been in love with her thoughout their entire childhood when she has only ever seen him like a little brother.

Unexpectedly they meet again. Between the way they've each built their lives and how Yong Yan Fei's ex husband still looms over Yan Fei's life, how will their relationship develop this time around ?

Now,

just reading that summary I know what you're thinking.

Indeed, if you have some experience with dramas, you might recognize some TYPICAL TYPICAL tropes – let's get them out of the way :

love triangle (though we all know who she is going to end up with don't we)

childhood friends

'noona romance'

And they are every bit as present and as trope-ey as you would expect.

However, as they say, the devil is in the details.

And particularly, in the side characters. Let me give you a quick rundown of the lot of them :

As such, we follow the stories of multiple relationships that develop parallel to one another.

The relationships

• Yan Fei/ Hsuan Yu : Not much needs to be added I think. Their storyline might be the most predictable but they are pretty sweet and heartwarming. pining for like 12 years though poor Hsuan Yu. Anyway you can enjoy it or find it boring or but you can't hate it.

• Mark/Ouwen : Noooow we're getting to it. Their dynamic is so... Refreshing and unique. Confident gay with a soft heart and dumb disaster bisexual I mean *chef kiss*👌delicious

After the disasters of their first meetings, it's a cat and dog relationship where Ouwen is the hsssssss don't touch me– cat and Mark is the golden retriever trailing after him not really realizing the rampage he's creating in Ouwen's heart. while Ouwen is like "Remind me why the FUCK I caught feelings again ?".

IDK it just has everything 'Enemies' to friends to lovers, (not actually) unrequited love, pining, sweet moments, jealousy, feelings realization, snarky banter... What more could one want.

• Cho Nai Hui / You Fu : they are. So. So sweet. Both are older and have experience, and as such they are not so naive or stupid as the youngsters. Them sharing their life experiences and going on dates like typically teenagers (in movies or TV shows anyway) would is refreshing to see and really really heartwarming.

• Liu Sheng Ying/ ??? Her ex ? : The show hinted at a wlw storyline and this arc seems to have JUST begun. Basically Sheng Ying's ex comes to Love is Science as a client and requests Sheng Ying as an advisor, while Sheng Ying still seems heartbroken over her. I can't WAIT to see how it develops.

The friendships :

Something I greatly appreciate is that both the romantic relationships AND the friendships have a great importance in the drama.

• Joanna and Yan Fei : Jo, queen Jo 👑. She's just here to gossip, get all the gossip and be the voice of reason and we love her for it. You can see how comfortable they are around each other and how they were there for each other during tough times and still are. Kudos to the actresses because I believed the characters were besties in a heartbeat.

• Hsuan Yu and Mark : they are honestly... Such polar opposites you kinda wonder how they became friends but they are and it works perfectly.

Hsuan Yu still hasn't gotten he maybe shouldn't take Mark's advice, and Mark still hasn't gotten that he, definitely should take Hsuan Yu's. It also enables to develop a more playful and mischievous side to Hsuan Yu, giving him more depth?

• Ouwen and Sheng Ying: rivalry to reluctant solidarity to friends-but-i-will-deny-it-if-asked to just friends. IT'S GREAT

I also ejoy the fact that these multiple storylines are allowed to coexist. The romantic ones, the friendships, older, younger, m/f m/m and f/f like take your pick !! And tbh a WLW storyline ?????? These are so scarce I will take anything.

The recurring themes :

The show more or less subtly touches on some topics/issues, to which the dating aspect contributes to.

A non exhaustive list would be

Divorce, and how divorced women can be viewed as failures for some reason

How successful men over 30 are sought after but successful women after 30 are somehow deemed undatable

Preconceived notions and homophobia

And beyond the topics, there's just things like... Joanna not being interested in long term relationships nor wanting to get married, reporting sexual harassment, older people going on dates.... I'm not saying it's a groundbreaking activist drama –which is not really what I was looking for– I just appreciate the fact that it is a pretty mainstream drama and that these things are there.

Mad respect if you've made it up to here ! but we're not quite done yet.

The cast and crew :

The other element that made this drama stand out for me besides the side characters is the cast.

It might be weird that such a meta thing impacts the appreciation of the show but it did, for me at least.

📣📣TMI WARNING 📣📣

For me what happened is I stumbled onto Mark and Ouwen cuts on YouTube, then somehow onto the behind the scenes. They weren't subbed at the time so I could barely understand a word of what they were saying, thus I'm not sure what but something about how the rest of the actors, the director and the crew were interacting just told me it was a show worth watching or at least checking out.

📣📣END OF TMI📣📣

The cast honestly seems to have a blast and to have, how to say it, come together really well. It seems like most of them have become genuinely friends, or despite differences in personality have truly enjoyed working with one another and with the rest of the crew, and it shows.

Where it's lacking

In my opinion the show does have some aspects where it underperforms.

As previously mentioned, the main plot is kinda tropey, furthermore, in a drama typical fashion when something is about to get resolved, immediately something else happens. Nothing unexpected from a drama though.

The pacing : Some moments of the main plot especially dragged on, so I admit I skipped through some parts.

Because I feel so strongly about all the characters though, I don't really mind the previously mentioned points. I just think it's a shame because I feel like if it had been crafted a little bit better it could have made the show go from an 8/10 good drama to an 11/10 friggin amazing drama easy.

Lastly, there is a pretty unequal time distribution so Yan Fei and Hsuan Yu do tend to occupy the most part of an episode. However some episodes are more centered on some pairings (like ep 11 that will probably have an important Mark/Ouwen part).

Overall

it's a drama that warms my heart, as simple as that. It's not that deep, it's pretty funny, the acting ranges from good to excellent and I have taken a liking to a lot of the characters, which is what I think fuels my interest for the drama.

And I feel like it managed to attract a wide range of audiences because the romances and relationships are so diverse. Whether you watch the show for its entirety or for one aspect/storyline/character is entirely up to you and I feel like the creators of the drama are aware of it as well : and you can easily find subbed compilations about each specific pairing on Settv's official YouTube channel.

Take that aspect that you like–if you find one of course–and enjoy it, that is all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What's left to say besides.... 🎉🎊 Congratulations for making it to the end of this lengthy post !

#I add a tmi warning in the middle as if this entire post wasn't one lengthy tmi lol #long post #love is science? #戀愛是科學 #lian ai shi ke xue #tw drama #taiwan drama #taiwanese drama #honestly thank you for this opportunity to talk about it #it made me happy heh heh heh #oh and if anyone else of the 15 people who like the show want to add stuff share your thoughts or highjack this post go ahead #lis?

[rendnotmyheart]

So, I had more thoughts about a fengqing teachers au:

They teach the same subject (history) and are super competitive about who’s class does better. Per canon, the difference between their classes’ averages is like 1%. Xie Lian is the lit teacher. Hua Cheng is the science teacher that does definitely-not-completely-safe experiments. Feng Xin and Mu Qing try to get him called out on it but nothing ever happens. Hua Cheng is just like “at least I know how to keep my class engaged :))” Feng Xin and Mu Qing are convinced he’s bribing administration.

Anyway, back to fengqing. Their students always ship them. Like always. Feng Xin constantly has students not-so-subtly asking if he’s single and showing him pictures of men asking if he thinks they’re hot. It’s pretty obvious what they’re getting at. Especially after a student asks him if he’s seen Mu Qing today and “he looks awfully good today don’t you think?”

Mu Qing doesn’t have this problem because the one time a student asked if he was into girls or guys or what he just glared at them until they went back to their work

Xie Lian has most of Feng Xin and Mu Qing’s students in his class too and it becomes a converging point for the student to share notes on fengqing. Xie Lian tries to dissuade the discussions but his insistence that “no really they’ve been this way for years. it’s nothing special” does NOT help. In fact it only fuels the students on because “omg they’ve been in love for years????” xl: no no! I did not say they’ve been in love for years. I just said they’ve been like this for years!  the students: yeah been like this as in love. So yeah Xie Lian was not successful in curbing the speculation. And it’s not like he doesn’t think they’re not in love. He just thinks it’s inappropriate for students to speculate about such things. Plus, he knows if fengqing get a whiff of the students’ speculation it’ll just set them back like ten years on their rivals to lovers arc

Hua Cheng, on the other hand, has no such moral dilemma about his students gossiping in his class. In fact he encourages it. A student asks if he’s friends with Feng Xin and Mu Qing and Hua Cheng is like “hell no. but sadly gege is” (the students obviously know hualian are together because they’re love besotten fools), and the students take this as an opportunity to get more information on fengqing outside of school because they can never get anything of real value out of Xie Lian. Hua Cheng is like “they’re the exact same outside of school. annoying, incompetent, at each other’s throats - pause for dramatic effect - and completely in love with each other without realizing it, though I don’t see how anyone could love those two. they really are the worst.” (none of the students are completely sure it’s okay to bash on your fellow teachers like that but they’re getting their information and Hua Cheng’s experiments are always the most fun so it’s probably fine)

On valentines or 520 the students hatch a big plot to send Feng Xin and Mu Qing gifts ‘from each other’ in order to prompt a confession. Needless to say it doesn’t work.

Classes come and go, each one thinking they can spark some confession from fengqing, but nothing ever changes. At least, nothing changes in the eyes of the students. Xie Lian can see that their fights no longer hold as much meaning or heat as they used to, AND they can now get through staff parties without breaking anything, so as far as he’s concerned, they’re best friends.

One day these years later, Feng Xin brings up the students shipping them to Mu Qing because surely he goes through the same thing, and perhaps they can have some sort of solidarity. But Mu Qing is just like “no. some of us know how to set boundaries with our students.” Feng Xin is like “fuck you. but seriously no one ever brought it up to you?” Mu Qing is like “only one the first year we started teaching together. no one after that” (this is because word had gotten around that the two things that would ensure you failed Mu Qing’s class were alluding to his love life or mentioning Feng Xin’s name in his class). (this is not true. Mu Qing is a fair and good teacher and his students love him, but no one was ever willing to test the rumor)

Now that Feng Xin and Mu Qing have talked about the rumors directly, it’s harder to ignore them and their feelings. Feng Xin goes from angrily denying the rumors to tiredly denying them to just not saying anything because really it’s not worth it. Then, Mu Qing mentions Feng Xin’s name during class and suddenly fengqing gossip goes up tenfold because “omg he actually said Feng Xin’s name. out loud. just casually.” Now that the Feng Xin taboo is broken, students start bugging Mu Qing. Mu Qing is not as versed in dealing with nagging students as Feng Xin, and it’s driving him crazy, how tf did Feng Xin deal with this for years?? Soon, he can’t take it anymore, so he just kisses Feng Xin in front of everyone. The students cheer, Xie Lian is crying, Hua Cheng is pretending to gag, and Feng Xin and Mu Qing get a warning about pda in the workplace. (this is frankly ridiculous given how hualian act at school) (really, there’s no way Hua Cheng isn’t bribing administration)

#fengqing #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #feng xin #mu qing #xie lian #hua cheng

[onovnii]

share your om trans hc Right Now

# obey me trans headcanons

feat. mammon , leviathan , satan , asmodeus , beelzebub , belphegor

summary. my gender headcanons for the obey me brothers

cw. trans talk 😗 , dysphoria

author n. reqs are closed but… anon you dont know HOW excited i am to share these… ive mentioned trans levi b4 but im gonna briefly talk abt everyone !! (and THEN dive into trans levi) ALSO!! i did some research for all the identities i listed but pls lmk if i got any of them wrong 😭!!!

disclaimer! everyone experiences gender differently, so if none of what i say relates to you in any way, that’s ok! these are based off of my OWN experiences.

i’m not sure how to categorize this so i’ll just dump this here ???

as angels, the brothers weren’t created with any specific gender in mind. (to me, all angels present masculine but they aren’t men)

in the celestial realm, since the brothers didn’t really pay attention to their gender identity, they never really got time to explore it. so maybe all of them were some form of nonbinary ?? (i think agender)

it’s only AFTER they turned to demons, the thought of gender came to mind. (some brothers even changed their physical form)

(i wish i had the time to draw these ajwjdcx)

mammon.

bigender , he/she

▸ at first mammon didn’t really care 💀

▸ he was too busy trying to hold her family together.

▸  when mammon became a model, THATS when the topic of gender interested her.

▸  over the years, mammon had tested out nearly everything.

▸ a more feminine form, voice etc etc

▸ she was the first to actually transition ^^

▸ despite all the mean comments his brothers say 😒 they take it v seriously!!

▸ when mammon came to them to nervously ask them to use she/her for him sometimes, they all were v supportive :’)

▸  mammon keeps her masc form (the one in game) but time to time, mammon will change it to a more fem form on will

▸ his feminine body looks relatively similar, just shorter and slightly longer hair (think wolfcut)

leviathan (aka me projecting LMAO)

agender , she/he/they + neos

▸ *i haven’t fully decided what neos levi would use…+ i feel like he’d use multiple sets so its rlly up to ur choice lol

▸ anyway,, levi feels the MOST amount of dysphoria out of his brothers :(

▸  gender gets real confusing for them so he’s been through MULTIPLE identities in her lifetime

▸  for like the longest, levi didn’t know what to do abt his dysphoria…he hadn’t figured out how to change forms like mammon 😞

▸  mammon helped levi the most ^^ taught them how to change their body at will to help relieve any stress it might’ve brought.

▸  when levi decided they wanted a bigger chest, it worked for a little bit! …then he felt a little too feminine n the cycle repeats.

▸  they couldn’t find the right in-between for him so levi would kinda have breakdowns over it 🙁(me tbh…)

▸  mammon was right there trying to help his little bro.

▸ it wasn’t till much later, when mammon heard asmo talking about it, he learned about the existence of binders 😯

▸ offered the idea to levi, which was sort of confused by but yk, went along with it.

▸ the binder idea was great, it acted like a middle ground for him(?)

▸ he could present masc some days, while still having the body he preferred (levi does prefer fem bodies :)

▸ their bottom dysphoria is a mess, let’s not get into it 🧍🏽

▸ levi needed lots of reassurance when ‘coming out’ to his brothers. mammon was right behind him cheering him on :D

▸ every one of them all helped levi in little or big ways :’)

▸ asmo’s the brother who helped him with his physical appearance the most (buying clothes, styling hair)

▸ satan got books from the human realm that further dived into gender (i believe that the devildom doesn’t have much bc..again they dont generally care) to help levi find a label or anything else that could help :)

▸  belphie and him have some sort of solidarity between them

▸  both of them got similar issues so they’re just always there for eachother. even in silence.

▸ levi’s preferred body looks similar to how it is in game, tall lanky n kinda lean? (their weight fluctuates a lot..that’s a topic for a different post)

▸ but it’s more feminine as well! in the basic areas like the chest, hips and thighs. (more curves)

▸  but she keeps the body hair so…pretty much rivals beel when it comes to that lol

satan

no label , they/them

▸  satan already has identity issues..feels bad

▸ did they ever use it to differentiate themselves from lucifer? absolutely.

▸  did that cause more problems for them? absolutely.

▸  satan struggles just as much as levi, but they keep quiet about it.

▸ the only one they rlly confide in is asmo.

▸ they tested out different sets of pronouns, identities etc but nothing rlly fit...

▸ until belphie just straight up told them, they could just not go by anything. 

▸  satan prefers not going by anything (honestly no pronouns is the best way to refer to satan…)

▸ less confusion, less things to worry about, they’d rather not think about it.

▸  satan’s form is still masc, they prefer it that way. (they do however, have a more feminine face i.e features. it’s really cute actually)

▸ does a lot of research to help out their brothers ^^ 

asmodeus

genderfluid , any prns

▸  the girlboy boygirl we all deserve AND needed!

▸  the most comfortable in his gender.

▸  asmo uses ALL pronouns and doesn’t mind what set you use !!

▸  typically their brothers will use a set that correlates to however asmo’s presenting as

▸  which changes a lot tbh…

▸ he loves to express his identity through clothes and always explores different ways to express himself.

▸  never sticks to one thing either…

▸  tbh, asmo doesn’t care for labels. she just slaps one on to make it easier for others to refer to him.

▸  prefers fem terms :]

▸  asmo’s form is a mix between feminine and masculine. at first glance, you can’t really tell (i wish i were him)

beelzebub

agender , he/him

▸  he just used he/him bc that’s what he’s used to and most comfortable in.

▸  still isn’t a man or fully identifies as one.

▸  beel doesn’t really care about his gender, he has more things to worry about.

▸  he cares more about his brothers though!!! always there for moral support:(

▸  specifically levi and belphie. beel knows they both struggle the most with it so he’s there with whatever they need :<

▸  his form is basically the same as canon. (his face IS more feminine tho...like satan its v v cute :)

belphegor demiboy , they/he/she

▸  like levi, struggles a lot.

▸  the worst part about it is that belphie doesn’t care enough to do anything about it.

▸  cue wallowing in your own discomfort for years… LMAO (me)

▸  nah but fr for the longest, belphie hasn’t felt truly comfortable in their own body.

▸  they were kinda in denial for a bit 😯…

▸  once the gears finally clicked, they told their brothers at like dinner and like everyone was like ?? why didnt you ?? say so ????

▸  cue all 6 of her older bros coddling him…cue belphie enjoying it bc he’s got the biggest younger sibling syndrome ever….

▸  belphie grew out their hair because it sorta helped. (and he was just lazy to cut it lol…)

▸  like mentioned before, he and levi has some sort of solidarity going on.

▸  they help eachother a lot (bc they understand eachother the most)

▸  funny, you’d think it would be beel…

▸  i mean, it IS most of the time. but it’s just nice to have someone like you yknow??

▸  his form is more feminine than masc, he probably just thinks having tits is more comfortable 😭💀

▸  their voice is relatively the same.. she was too lazy to change it hahdkcc

-val

#valsfw #obey me headcanons #mammon headcanons #leviathan headcanons #obey me satan headcanons #satan headcanons #asmodeus headcanons #asmo headcanons #beelzebub headcanons #beel headcanons #belphegor headcanons #belphie headcanons #these are all over the place #i wrote these in like 10 minutes goodnighjt

[compassionatereminders]

For any weird asks who go on ranting about the 'proven genes' behind autism and adhd, I get a little more terrified of where people put their energy instead of actual mental help for nd people. It's common in families, there's some heritability, but they're not a simple on-off switch gene that could or should be weeded out. And just because adhd and autism spectrum share symptoms and developemental similarities doesn't mean they're the ONLY way someone's *brain differs from each other* which is what neurodiversity means!

I'm fairly sure my father has or at least has had some form of manic bipolar and adhd or asd, my mother's side is full of adhd cousins, yet both families are also incredibly ableistic and forcefully so, and CERTAINLY don't differentiate between types of neurodivergence. Trauma changes the brain and just plain PTSD can then easily be neurodivergence, and on top of my own clear adhd I FOR SURE suffer with paranoid, dissociative spells that come from trauma that must, at least in some ways, be relatable to schizo-spec people too.

We're all different, that's what the diversity of neurodivergent brains means. But our experiences - the fact that the world judges our brains while keeping support and healing away from us - are similar enough that we should be looking for solidarity in the community. Not gene tests to weed each other out.

Anyway, you've sure had a weird variety of very self-absorbed asks in a short time. I wish people took a minute to think first and make assumptions after considering a little.

You make a good point. Maybe if we focused less on trying to limit the use of terms like neurodivergent to certain disorders, we'd have more time and space for actual solidarity...

#chat with kat

[littlx-songbxrd]

I DEMAND the Kamala and Thomas friendship content

Please? 🥺

RUA I LOVE YOU THANK YOU *pulls up months of content* YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS

So Im doing it through bullets cause i think itd look better

Thomas and Kamala friendship is what Alastair and Christopher friendship is in a different font

Its the same dinamic as "two sensible people being put together and suddenly all braincells have left the room

Has Remus Lupin and Lily Evans fanon friendship vibes

Ok so the reason I think this works so well is because they both have one major flaw in common, numbing themselves and their needs

While in different circumstances, both characters have had to disregard their needs and wants without noticing to the point they dont even recognize what they actually want

Who they actually are outside every single label theyve been put

Kamala wanted to be that perfect daughter for her adoptive parents and has sacrificed everything for it, but now?

She doesnt know who she is or what she wants

While Thomas is terrified of creating invonviniences with finding who he is, so he simply numbs it all down because admiting his wants seems impossible

And now both these characters are being made to face the fact, they dont actually know themselves

After so many years of numbing, now they have to face the lost of identity theur choices have lead them too

I genuinly think its actually poetic and a shame that CC ended both these characters in CHOI in paralleling situations

Kamala leaving Anna and Thomas being left by Alastair for me has always been so much more than just, part of the romantic arc

I always thought of it as paralelling turning points on boths characters struggle with identity

Also ennegram wise a 4s greatest fear is being without identity while a 9s greatest fear is inconvinencing with their identity

While opposite problems, they share the solidarity that they cope by putting labels on themselves

To convinse themselves others wishes and thoughts of them is who they really are

I think Thomas and Kamala could understand the need to find yourself

The coldness that comes from the relazation you dont even know who you are

I think theyd be able to talk about such struggles in a way no other character could, cause many characters have had their personalities changed because of outer factors

But thats exactly it, they were outer factors

James was cursed, Mathew Grace and Alastair were traumatized

Its not the same experience as knowing your own choices lead up to this confusion you now hold on who you are, and the strength it takes to recognize your own behavior and take the reigns back

Ok now that were done with the heavy stuff of why i had the initial bonding idea lets get the fun stuff

RUA YOU CANT LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THOMAS AND KAMALA WERENT MYTHOLOGY KID??? YOU JUST CANT??

Thomas reads epic poems, was mostly isolated as a kid, and has an interest in cultures and languages

I genuinly thought kamala being a mythoogy kid was canon but im not sure but come on IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE SHES A AVID READER??

I always imagine them just BONDING over mythology

They have very specific puns over extremly specific myths only THEY find funny

They share myth books

For her birthday Thomas gave her an anotated book of one of his favorite myths

Theyre also just REALLY chaotic together

Because one of the many labels they were put on were the "mom friends"

Once they have no one they need to take care off its actual chaos

Suddenly they turn into two overgrown kids and get to make up for all the years they were the sensible ones

Theyre known for NOT being allowed on patrol together

Alastair and Eugenia forbid it

Cause one day they decided it was a GOOD IDEA TO PLAY WHO COULD KILL THE MOST DEMONS IN A NIGHT AND BOTH GOT TO THE INSTITUTE STUPIDLY INJURED

And even AFTER they were both fine Alastair overheard them making plans to do it AGAIN

Theyre chaotic kids together

Its a good friendship

I will go doqn crying over it

@stxr-thxif @goodoldfashionednerd noticed you also wanted to see it

ANYWAYS ITS 2021 LETS START SEEING HOW THESE TWO COULD BE FRIENDS CAUSE ISTG I THINK ABOUT IT ONCE A WEEK

#thomas lightwood #kamala joshi