#aren't you exhausted keeping track of all this shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

runa-falls · 9 months

Note

FREE USE WITH MIGUEL? LIKE ANYWHERE ANYTIME?

a/n: YES NONNIE, ANY--FUCKING--TIME. AND HERES ONE OF THOSE TIMES :^) idk if this is free-use or feral!reader or both. anyway, just enjoy it lol. like every time, this got away from me

special thanks to mona (@whatthefishh) for letting me scream this shit to her over discord + for helping me figure out exactly what 'free use' is lol

cw: smut (18+), free use kink, small very small bit of somnophilia (CAN'T ESCAPE IT), non-explicit oral (m-receiving), afab!reader, mentions of ovulation (+ period) horniness, fingering, cockwarming, fucking w/ multiple orgasms, the same Spanish pet name used over and over, reader is basically a bothersome cat, writer is so all over the place it's confusing.

wc: 2.4k (this was supposed to be a quick thot but wtvr)

---

miguel is a gracious boyfriend, he practically lives to please you. so when you approach him in the middle of the day with nothing but his shirt draped over your figure, he has a hard time rejecting your advances.

sure, he tries, but every time he gives you what he wants.

you're spoiled, really.

miguel works at home as much as possible. he hates having to leave you before the sun rises, walking away from a perfectly cozy bed and wet cunt (😳).

miguel convinces himself that Spider HQ can survive a day or two without him on site. he has several capable Spiders that do most of the heavy lifting for him and LYLA isn't afraid to take charge, sitting her holographic ass in the boss' chair.

he can set up mission plans and keep track of everything from his laptop, and he's always on call if he is needed for anything. the only issue is that working remotely doesn't work when he can't get anything done.

he's trying to go over notes from a meeting that was held earlier this morning.

he was supposed to be there, but you physically wouldn't let him out of bed. he swears you're a Spider yourself with the strength you have when you're especially needy and sleepy.

he smelled it when he woke up in the middle of the night to you mouthing over his boxers, that decadent sweetness that indicates you're ovulating.

you were desperate to get a taste of him, to fill that unbearable emptiness inside of you, whimpering with relief when you finally feel his fingers bury themselves in your hair to push your further against his bulge.

he learned early in your relationship that your insatiable appetite for him increases tenfold during your window of fertility (don't even mention your period). and so does your need for sleep. so he caters to your needs accordingly.

you passed out after convincing him to fuck the heat out of you, to snuff out the fire until your neediness recedes. apparently, the only time you aren't horny is when you're sleeping (though that isn't true... you wake up horny all the time??).

you've been sleeping soundly ever since, utterly exhausted by his thorough support, but he knows that once you wake up, you'll be crying for him again.

he crawled back into bed with you after telling LYLA to take over for the day, but after a few hours of almost suffocating because of the way you curl up on his chest like a cat, he got up to get some coffee and finish some computer work.

as soon as his warmth left you, you fussed. eyes still closed as you whined and moaned for his body. he shushed you, gently smoothing down your bedhead until you settled.

it didn't last for long.

you padded out of bed with bleary eyes, clearly looking for him when you walked into the living room. he offered you a quick "morning, cariño." before focusing back on his computer. he had to limit as much contact with you as possible if he wanted to finish his work.

just a few more pages and a couple of emails, and then he can give you all the attention you need.

his shirt brushes against your thigh like a summer dress as you make your way through the room.

he looked adorable with his loose white long sleeve on and black dad-glasses. his hair is still curly and fluffed, telling you he wasn't planning on leaving you anytime soon.

you shuffle over to the couch, sitting next to him with a sigh.

he doesn't react.

somehow, the minimal recognition that you're there, his adamant refusal to look at you, turns you on as much as it irritates you.

he's really trying his best to be a good boss, hm? trying to resist a temptation that's barely a foot away from him.

it makes you feel dirty and deprived. you blatantly rub your legs together, urging him to look. your gaze washes over his sharp jawline watching as it clenches at your soft coos.

"...baby."

"'m working, amor." his voice is still soft, despite the efforts he's taking to ignore you.

you huff.

"but--"

"not right now."

you scoot closer to him, strategically allowing the hem of his shirt to ride up on your thighs. so he's really going to make you do it...

you tug at his sleeve, taking his arm away from his work (though it doesn't look like he was working on much at all, he's been sitting on that exact page for 5 minutes now).

"not right now, mi vida..." he protests lightly, but he doesn't move away. he's not even trying, you think.

you smirk at his empty words. you can see the way he's looking at you: your messy hair, bare legs, the shadow of his shirt hiding away your most sensitive spot. his breathing grows heavier and so does his stare.

"i have work--" miguel is always so soft and sweet to you, melting in your hand though he has all the power to stop it.

"please, miguel? just one, for me?" his lips part as you place his hand against your bare thigh, slowly dragging it upwards until it meets your center.

he doesn't take his hand away, doesn't even pull back a single inch, instead, he instantly complies, cupping his warm hand over its entirety. he chokes out a low groan. you're not wearing anything underneath.

"ok, i guess if it's only once..." he whispers, already breathy. he's leaning over you, almost on top of you, forcing your legs to spread impossibly wide.

he watches as his finger rubs against your slick center, spreading your wetness until you're glistening for him under the late morning light. he pushes in slowly, so slowly, eyes flicking up to your face to witness the small o your mouth makes as he presses in deeper.

his mouth waters as he fingers you, he wishes he had enough time to go down on you, and taste your slick straight from the source. he knows how much you love it when he fucks you with his tongue and suckles on your clit. but no, he has work to do. he needs to get you off so he can finally focus.

"this what you needed, cariño?" it's all but growled into your space, his voice low and taunting. all you can do is nod with bleary eyes as your hands grip onto his thick bicep for support.

he adds another finger and thrusts them into you quicker, angling them just so his palm can gently nudge at your clit. he can feel you tightening around him already, fluttering with each pass that he makes against your g spot. he presses harder, drinking in your choked gasp and shaking thighs.

you're so wet, spilling over his fingers and dripping against his hand. the noises between you are deafening. a mixture of sopping thrusts, heavy breathing, and quiet mewls fill the still silence of the living room.

he's so good at this, too good at this.

how can he make you fall apart with just his hands, caress every sensitive nerve with a single stroke?

you're at the cusp of euphoria. your body, filled to the brim with pleasure, urges you to let go, to take what you want. but you don't want to. you want to stay at the edge forever with his hands on you, to be at the center of his affections, always just one breath away from transcendence.

you're not ready for him to stop touching you anytime soon, you realize. you still need it and after you'll need it again. you need him.

his glasses start sliding as he looks down at you, dropping until they're barely at the tip of his nose. he's focused, eyes locked on how he fills you again and again.

his fingers speed up, expertly aiming against that special spot inside of you. your hips rise from the couch, needing him as deep as possible. then it all falls apart.

you cry out, back arching and eyes rolling. your body is barely touching the couch under you and it feels like you're being lifted up by unknown forces as you reach your climax. white fills your vision and heat thrums through your limbs. you can't hide your one orgasm from him, it's too intense.

before you could recover, he slips his fingers out of you.

"alright, honey, we're done." he casually sucks your essence off of his fingers before propping his glasses back to the arch of his nose.

"ok, ok, i get it. you're busy." you pant, still pulsing from your high. and...he's already back to work. he wasn't kidding when he said he had stuff to do. "i'll just...be sitting here."

so you watch him get back to work, or you try to. the incessant scrolling, typing, reading, and muttering thoughts that accompany his work is usually enough to put you to sleep. it's an unusual lullaby that's attached to him. one that brings you the comfort of knowing he's near.

but he's hard.

he seems so relaxed, so content to work, but his erection presses so desperately against his sweats, outlined perfectly by the grey fabric.

so how could you not touch him? he clearly needs your help... and if he doesn't, then you need it.

you want to be good, you do, but when he types so effortlessly like that with the fingers that were just stuffed in your cunt, or when he looks over his dad-glasses to look at something like a hot fucking nerd, you can't help it.

it's been, what, 12 minutes? that's enough work for the day in your opinion.

you start slow, hesitantly, watching to make sure he's not looking at you (though he can clearly see you from his peripheral vision). you stand up on the couch right next to him. you're a bit unstable on the squishy cushions so you use his shoulder for support.

he looks over at you, confused as to why you decided to walk all over the furniture like a toddler.

you carefully maneuver over his arms to settle yourself on his lap. you're a koala around him, holding your torso to his, looping your arms around his neck and sharing your shimmering lustful body heat. he grunts when you scoot even closer to him, your bare pussy pressing entirely against his covered cock.

but he ignores it.

he doesn't say anything, barely even moves, and just continues to work. you pout a bit, but let him. you convince yourself that you're content with just sitting here and enjoying his company (despite the large distraction that pulses against your pussy, pressing so sweetly under your needy clit).

you listen to his steady heartbeat and slow breaths, the occasional sound of tapping keys. you nuzzle against the soft shirt that stretches over his chest. you're fine.

it's not like you're leaking all over his sweatpants, leaving a puddle at the apex of the fabric. you're not crying on the inside, so empty and fluttering around nothing. you're fine.

until you arent.

you lazily lift your hips above his, nearly head-butting his chin in the process. his arms lift to help you get settled, hands resting on your waist, as patient as ever.

you reach below you and he stiffens. he wasn't expecting you to--

your hand buries itself under his sweats, delicate fingers brushing over his erection. he breathes out your name when you squeeze him teasingly before pulling him out.

"what did i say?" he grunts, hand swiftly wrapping around your wrist. the words are lost on your ears as you caress the silky steel in your fist. it pulses at your touch. he needs this.

he says your name once more.

"you're working."

"then why are you trying to fuck me?!"

"i'm only going to sit on it." you give him an innocent look. you slowly lower yourself so your dripping center meets his before sliding your glistening lips over his hardness. "won't move or say a thing, promise!"

"cariño..."

"just wanna warm you, baby." you position him right against your entrance. "is that so wrong?" you lower yourself before he can say anything else.

you take him easily with how wet you are, and he fills you perfectly. he sucks in a breath at the feeling then growls out, "don't move."

well, you do move (is anyone surprised). you move a lot. but he moves too. harsher and more competitive. who the hell fucks competitively?

you moan over him, bouncing on his cock eagerly. his hands hold your waist, guiding your movements just how he likes it: fast and hard. his laptop, somewhere on the other side of the couch, is forgotten and probably long dead by now. so much for working at home.

you've cum at least four times already, but who's keeping count (you're not. you're so fucked out, you have to manually breathe now.)

he won't let up anymore. you asked for it and you're getting it.

"do i gotta fuck you to sleep, hm? is that the only way you'll leave me the fuck alone and let me work?"

you only admit now that you're eyes were definitely bigger than your stomach. you're practically drooling as he takes control once again, snapping his hips from under you, harsh and punishing. as if this is a punishment.

he has to carry you back to bed that afternoon. he couldn't just leave you on the couch, naked and shivering. plus you'd be a distraction with your bruised hips and fucked out cunt.

you murmur adorably in your sleep as your body unconsciously nuzzles further into his arms. he places you lovingly on the bed and you immediately curl up. he sighs, brushing your hair out of your face because he knows how much you hate it when it gets in your eyes or tickles at your nose during the night.

you look so cozy and comfortable. but so alone in this huge bed.

he debates laying down with you, only until you're in a deeper sleep.

maybe just a few minutes?

LYLA had a few choice words when he woke up in the morning....

#anon #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara smut #atsv #2099

12K notes · View notes

maebymaedayidk · 2 years

Text

I've been seeing a lot of "delete your periode tracking apps" coming up due to the recent life-ending, gut-wrenching news BUT

There IS an option. Clue is a German based tracking app and the US and NO JURISDICTION over them, which means they that can PROTECT YOUR DATA.

As someone with a shitty fucking uterus who had to spit out 500 bucks under my Canadian health care system for birth control that would finally allow me to live WITHOUT debilitating pain I know how fucking important it is to TRACK THAT SHIT.

Keep a book!! Use apps like clue that aren't based in the US!! Pen and fucking paper I don't CARE but please, uterus owners-

Birth control and the right to an abortion are basic fucking human rights and I know you are so EXHAUSTED and TERRIFIED, I am too. But please, please, please remember to take care of yourself. In all of the ways. It sucks that you have to do this but you have to adapt, you have to stay so fucking vigilant, you have to protect yourself and take care of your mind and body.

Please DO NOT neglect yourself out of fear and hopelessness because your government is neglecting you. Protect yourself, protect your body. And DO NOT STOP FIGHTING.

6K notes · View notes

perspectivestarters · 2 years

Text

Perspective's Sentence Starters; MIDNIGHTS by Taylor Swift (Part I)

LAVENDER HAZE

"Meet me at midnight."

"You don't ever say too much."

"You don't really read into my melancholia."

"You handled it beautifully."

"All this shit is new to me."

"I feel the lavender haze creeping up on me."

"I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say."

"I just wanna stay in that lavender haze."

"All they keep asking me is if I'm gonna be your bride."

"The only kinda girl they see is a one night or a wife."

"I find it dizzying."

"You weren't even listening."

"Talk your talk and go viral."

"I just need this love spiral."

"Get it off your chest."

"Get it off my desk."

"I just wanna stay."

MAROON

"We lost track of time again."

"You were my closest friend."

"How'd we end up on the floor anyway?"

"I see you every day now."

"I chose you."

"So scarlet, it was maroon."

"How the hell did we lose sight of us again?"

"Ain't that the way shit always ends?"

"Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us."

"I feel you, no matter what."

"I lost you."

"Looked up at the sky and it was maroon."

"I wake with your memory over me."

"That's a real fuckin' legacy to leave."

ANTI-HERO

"I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser."

"Midnights become my afternoons."

"My depression works the graveyard shift."

"All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room."

"I should not be left to my own devices."

"They come with prices and vices."

"I end up in crisis."

"Tale as old as time."

"I wake up screaming from dreaming."

"I'm the problem."

"I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror."

"It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero."

"I'm a monster on the hill."

"Pierced through the heart, but never killed."

"Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism?"

"I've realized all this time."

"Life will lose all its meaning."

"She's laughing up at us from hell!"

"It's me, I'm the problem, it's me."

SNOW ON THE BEACH

"I saw flecks of what could've been lights."

"It might just have been you."

"Life is emotionally abusive."

"Time can't stop me quite like you did."

"My flight was awful, thanks for asking."

"It's like snow at the beach."

"Weird but fuckin' beautiful."

"This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen."

"I've never seen someone lit from within."

"To hide that would be so dishonest."

"It's fine to fake it 'til you make it."

"I can't speak, afraid to jinx it."

"I don't even dare to wish it."

"Your eyes are flying saucers from another planet."

"Can this be a real thing, can it?"

"It's comin' down."

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, KID

"Summer went away, still the yearning stays."

"I play it cool with the best of them."

"He's gonna notice me."

"We're the best of friends anyway."

"You're smoking with your boys."

"I didn't choose this town."

"I dream of getting out."

"There's just one who could make me stay all my days."

"I waited ages to see you there."

"I search the party of better bodies, just to learn that you never cared."

"You're on your own, kid."

"You always have been."

"I picked the petals, he loves me not."

"Something different bloomed."

"I'll run away."

"I called a taxi to take me there."

"My dreams aren't rare."

"I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this."

"The jokes weren't funny."

"I took the money."

"My friends from home don't know what to say."

"I saw something they can't take away."

"There were pages turned with the bridges burned."

"Everything you lose is a step you take."

"You've got no reason to be afraid."

"Yeah, you can face this."

"You're on your own, kid. You always have been."

MIDNIGHT RAIN

"He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain."

"He wanted a bride, I was making my own name."

"He stayed the same."

"All of me changed like midnight."

"My town was a wasteland."

"But for some, it was paradise."

"My boy was a montage."

"I broke his heart 'cause he was nice."

"He was sunshine, I was midnight rain."

"But for him, it's every day."

"All the love we unravel."

"The life I gave away."

"I guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted."

"He never thinks of me except for when I'm on TV."

"I guess sometimes we all get some kind of haunted."

"I never think of him except on midnights like this."

QUESTION...?

"I remember."

"We had one thing goin' on."

"I swear that it was somethin'."

I don't remember who I was before you."

"You painted all my nights a color I've searched for since."

"One thing after another."

"Fuckin' situations, circumstances, miscommunications."

"I just may like some explanations."

"Can I ask you a question?

"Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room?"

"Then what did you do?"

"Did you lеave her house in the middle of the night?"

"Did you wish you'd put up more of a fight?"

"She said it was too much."

"Do you wish you could still touch her?"

"It's just a question."

"Did you realize out of time?"

"She was on your mind with some dickhead guy."

"It was one drink after another."

"Fuckin' politics and gender roles."

"You're not sure and I don't know."

"I just may like to have a conversation."

"Does it feel like everything's just like second best after that meteor strike?"

"What's that that I heard?"

"That you're still with her?"

"That's nice, I'm sure that's what's suitable."

#rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #sentence meme #sentence prompts #lyric sentence starters #lyric starters #music starters #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #*mystarters #*midnights

357 notes · View notes

gemini-sensei · 1 year

Note

Been thinking about that imagine/headcanons you did a while back- the one about Robby/Reader/Miguel and learning to share.

I feel it would be wrong for me to not share this thought.

Johnny really nails into Robby and Miguel that they need to start getting along, like he's not playing anymore, they need to learn how to get along. Both of them aren't to thrilled about it but after getting laid into by Johnny they decide to at least try and make a effect. This comes to a head when a new girl comes to town. Both boys are head over heels for her and they both know it. They gently bump heads over it constantly. Then they realize they really can “get along and share” if they are pleasing her. It’s more of a “ V “ shape relationship.

After they get into a relationship with her, both of them no longer feel the need to battle and fight each other, their basically cool. They are both respectful and more affectionate towards each other at least. Everyone at the dojo has no idea what is going on until they see reader and slowly start to realize what’s going on.

Bonus for Hawk being the one to realize it first.

When Hawk figures it out, it's literally that Tiktok audio that like "oh shit! OH SHIT!" in his head. I can't remember exactly what it is, but hopefully you know what I'm talking about.

Like, Reader probably came by the dojo just to see Robby and Miguel. They're gonna go have lunch or something and she's come to pick them up. They'll be back later. It's kind of weird to everyone else, but while they're gone, Hawk realizes what's going on - realizes that's the girl Miguel doesn't shut up about; that she's the one Robby gets all flustered talking about. He wears a self satisfied smirk and keeps that information to himself until Robby and Miguel get back.

They were gone a long time and they're both a little hot and flushed. They apologize for being late, they just lost track of time, and blame their "exhaustion" on rushing back so quickly. Training continues as normal.

But Hawk knows better and the first chance he gets he asks them if "lunch" was good. They tell him it was good and he nods along as if he believes that they're all talking about the same thing. So he asks them where they went and they both start rambling out answers that don't match and they look at each other with wide eyes. Hawk's caught them and he's so happy with himself.

"I don't think I've heard of those places. Are they both located in the back of Reader's car?"

Miguel looks at him horrified and Robby glares at him, but Hawk doesn't care. He just smirks and leans onto their shoulders.

"Ya know, I was wondering why all your bitching and bickering stopped. Now I get it," he laughs. To everyone else, it just looks like a regular conversation they're having, but oh boy. "So, do you two fuck her at the same time or do you take turns."

"Dude!" "Hawk."

He puts his hands up as if surrendering. "I'm just asking how brother's date the same girl."

"Step-brothers."

"I know, I know."

He laughs at their expense and finally drops it, for now. He doesn't let them live it down until everyone else knows. In the meantime, he's making little innuendoes that no one else gets or saying shit that doesn't make sense to anyone except Miguel and Robby and it's golden, to him at least.

109 notes · View notes

myfanwymusings · 10 months

Text

TAYLOR SWIFT - MIDNIGHTS (COMPLETE COLLECTION)

These lyrics come from Taylor Swift’s 2022 album, Midnights. It is her tenth studio album, and the fifth that she has owned fully. Lyrics may be modified to better fit roleplay situation, please feel free to adjust to your needs. Additionally, two solo tracks that were released in this era. This meme includes all standard tracks, Three A.M. tracks, The Late Night Edition vault track, the Til' Dawn Remixes, and any lyric changes in remixes. "Snow on the Beach (Feat. More Lana Del Rey)" was excluded due to no new lyrics.

LAVENDER HAZE

Meet me at midnight

You don't ever say too much

You don't really read into my melancholia

I find it dizzying

They're bringing up my history

All that shit is new to me

I feel that lavender haze creeping up on me

I'm damned if i do give a damn what people say

No deal

I just wanna stay in that lavender haze

All they keep asking me is if I'm gonna be your bride

The only kind of girl they see is a "one night" or a bride

You weren't even listening

Talk your talk

I just want this love spiral

Get it off my chest

Get it off my desk

MAROON

We lost track of time again

You were my closest friend

How'd we end up on the floor anyway?

Your roommates cheap-ass screw-top rose, that's how.

I see you every day now

I chose you

You were the one i was dancing with in New York

It was maroon

How the hell did we lose sight of us again?

How the hell did we lose sight?

Ain't that the way shit always ends?

I feel you no matter what

I lost you

I wake with your memory

I wake with your memory over me

That's a real fucking legacy

ANTI-HERO

I have this thing where i get older but just never wiser

Midnights have become my afternoons

My depression works the graveyard shift

I should not be left to my own devices

I wake up screaming from dreaming

wake up screaming from dreaming one day, I'll watch as your leaving

I wake up screaming from dreaming one day. I'll watch as you're leaving cause you got tired of my scheming

You got tired of my scheming

It's me, hi

I'm the problem, it's me

It must be exhausting, always rooting for the anti-hero

Sometimes, I feel like everybody is a sexy baby

Did you hear my covert narcissism might disguise as altruism?

Did you hear my covert narcissism might disguise as altruism, like some kind of congressman?

Life would lose all it's meaning for the last time

I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money she thinks I've left them in the will

She's laughing up at us from hell

SNOW ON THE BEACH (FEAT. LANA DEL REY)

One night, a few moons ago, I saw flecks of what could've been lights but it might just have been you passing by unbeknownst to me

Life is emotionally abusive

Time can't stop me quite like you did

My flight was awful

Thanks for asking

My flight was awful, thanks for asking

I'm unglued, thanks to you

It's like snow on the beach - weird, but fucking beautiful

You wanting me tonight feels impossible

It's coming down

It's all around

This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen

I searched "aurora borealis green"

I've never seen someone lit from within

Your smile feels like I've won a contest

To hide that would be so dishonest

It's fine to fake it til you make it

I can't speak, afraid to jinx it

I don't dare to even wish it

Can this be the real thing, can it?

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, KID

Summer went away, still, the yearning stays

It's okay, we're the best of friends

I hear it in your voice, you're smoking with your boys

I didn't choose this town, I dream of getting out

There's just one who could make me stay here for all my days

I waited ages to see you there

I search the party of better bodies, just to learn that you never cared

You're on your own, kid

You always have been

You're on your own, kid. You always have been

I see the great escape

I picked the petals, he loves me not

I'll run away

I called a taxi to take me there

I search the party of better bodies, just to learn that my dreams aren't rare

I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this

I hosted parties and starved my body like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss

The jokes weren't funny,

I took the money

My friends from home don't know what to say

I saw something they can't take away

Everything you lose is a step you take

So, make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it

You've got no reason to be afraid

You're on your own, kid. Yeah, you can face this

MIDNIGHT RAIN

He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride, I was making my own name

He stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight rain

My town was a wasteland, full of cages and full of fences but for some it was paradise

For some, it was paradise

My boy was a montage in slow-motion, of love potions and jumping off things into the ocean

I broke his heart cause he was nice

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

He was sunshine

I was midnight rain

He wanted comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name, chasing the fame

It was the life I gave away

I guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted

He never thinks of me, except for when I'm on TV

He never thinks of me

I guess sometimes we all get some kind of haunted

I never think of him

I never think of him except on Midnights like this

QUESTION ...?

I remember

We had one thing going on and I swear that it was something

I don't remember who I was before you painted all my nights a colour I have searched for since

It's one thing after another

I have to say, by the way, that I just may like some explanations

Can I ask you a question?

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room?

Then what did you do?

Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?

Did you wish you'd put up more of a fight?

When she said it was too much, did you wish you could still touch her?

It's just a question?

Did you realize out of time?

You're not sure and I don't know

I just may like to have a conversation

Does it feel like everything is just like second best after that meteor strike?

What's that, that I heard? That your still with her?

That's nice, I'm sure that's what suitable and right

BEJEWELED

Baby love, I think I've been a little too kind

I think I've been a little too kind

I didn't notice you walking all over my peace of mind in the shoes I gave you as a present

Putting someone first only works when you're in their top five

By the way, I'm going out tonight

You best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room, I can still make the whole place shimmer

Do you have a man?

I don't remember

Familiarity breeds contempt

Don't put mе in the basement, whеn I want the penthouse of your heart

I polish up real nice

Baby boy, I think I've been too good of a girl

I did all the extra credit, then got graded on a curve

I think it's time to teach some lessons

I made you my world, but have you heard that I can reclaim the land

I miss you but I miss sparkling

I miss you

I miss sparkling

Sadness became my whole sky

Some guy said my aura's moonstone, just 'cause he was high

You can try to change my mind but you might have to wait in line

What's a girl gonna do?

A diamond's gotta shine

VIGILANTE SHIT

Draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man

You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them

Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie

They say that looks can kill and I might try

I don't dress for women

I don't dress for men

Lately, I've been dressing for revenge

I don't start shit but I can tell you how it ends

Don't get sad, get even

On the weekends, I don't dress for friends

She needed cold, hard proof, so I gave her some

She had the envelope, where you think she got it from?

Now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride

Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife

She looks so pretty driving in your Benz

Lately, she's been dressing for revenge

She don't start shit, but she can tell you how it ends

So on the weekends, she don't dress for friends

Ladies always rise above

Ladies know that people want someone sweet and kind and fun

The lady simply had enough

While he was doing lines, and crossing all of mine, someone told his white collar crimes to the FBI

Someone told his white collar crimes to the FBI

I don't dress for villains or for innocents

I'm on my vigilante shit again

LABYRINTH

It only hurts this much right now

Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out

I'll be getting over you my whole life

You know how scared I am of elevators, never trust it if it rises fast

It can't last

Uh-oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

I thought the plane was going down, how'd you turn it right around?

It only feels this raw right now

I'm lost in the labyrinth of my mind

You would break your back to make me break a smile

You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back.

Just like that

KARMA

You're talking shit for the hell of it

Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant

You're terrified to look down cause if you dare, you'll see the glare of everyone you burned just to get there

It's coming back around

I keep my side of the street clean, you wouldn't know what I mean

Karma is my boyfriend

Karma is a god

Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend

Karma's a relaxing thought, aren't you envious that for you it's not?

Karma is a cat purring in my lap, cause it loves me

Me and karma vibe like that

My pennies made your crown

Don't you know that cash ain't the only price?

It's coming back around

Ask me what I've learned from all those years

Ask me what I've earned from all those tears

Ask me why so many fade but I'm still here

Karma is the thunder rattling the ground

Karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter

Karma's gonna track you down, step by step from town to town

Karma is queen

Karma takes all my friends to the summit

Karma is the guy on the screen coming straight home to me

SWEET NOTHING

I spy with my little tired eye, as tiny as a firefly, a pebble that we picked up last July down deep inside your pocket

We almost forgot it

Do they ever miss Wicklow sometimes?

They say the end is coming

Everyone's up to something

I come home running to your sweet nothings

All that you've ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

On the way home, I wrote a poem

What a mind!

This happens all the time

Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors and smooth talking hucksters are glad handing each other

All the voices all implore that I should be doing more

I'm just too soft for all of it

MASTERMIND

Once upon a time, the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned so that you and I would end up in the same room at the same time

The touch of your hand lit the fuse for a chain reaction of counter moves to assess the equation of you

Checkmate, I couldn't lose

What if I told you none of it was accidental?

The first time that you saw me, I knew that nothing was gonna stop me

I laid the groundwork

Just like clockwork, the domino's cascaded in a line

What if I told you I'm a mastermind?

Now you're mine

It was all by design

I'm a mastermind

All the wisest women had to do it this way

All the wisest women had to do it this way cause we were born to be the pawn in every lovers game

We were born to be the pawn in every lovers game

If you fail to plan then you plan to fail

I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails and the liquor in our cocktails

No one wanted to play with me as a little kid, so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since to make them love me and make it seem effortless

No one wanted to play with me as a little kid

I've been scheming like a criminal ever since

This is the first time that I feel the need to confess

I swear that I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian cause I care

I told you none of it was accidental

The first time that you saw me I knew i wanted your body

You knew the entire time!?

You knew that I'm a mastermind

I'm a mastermind and now you're mine

THE GREAT WAR

My knuckles were bruised like violets from sucker punching walls,

I cursed you as I sleep-talked

I was spineless in my tomb of silence

I tore the banners down, and took the battle underground

Maybe it was the egos swinging

Maybe it was her

The flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur

All that bloodshed in crimson clover

The sweet dream was over

My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War

We'll always remember

I vow not to cry anymore if we survived the Great War

You drew up some good faith treaties

I drew curtains closed and drank my poison all alone

You said I have to trust more freely

Diesel is desire, you were playing with fire

Maybe it's the past that's talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did

I justified it

The bombs were closer

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

I'll always remember the burning embers

I vowed not to fight anymore if we survived the Great War

It turned into something bigger

Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed

But you looked up at me with honor and truth

I called off the troops

That was the night I nearly lost you

I really thought I'd lost you

We can plant a memory garden

Say a solemn prayer

I'll place a poppy in my hair

There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair

We will never go back

BIGGER THAN THE WHOLE SKY

No words appear before me in the aftermath

Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness

It's all over now, all out to sea

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You were bigger than the whole sky

You were more than just a short time

I've got a lot to pine about

I've got a lot to live without

I'm never gonna meet what could've been, would've been, what should've been you

Did some force take you because I didn't pray?

Every single thing to come has turned into ashes

It's all over, it's not meant to be

I'll say words I don't believe

PARIS

Your ex-friend's sister met someone at a club and he kissed her. Turns out, it was that guy you hooked up with ages ago. Some wannabe Z-lister. And all the outfits were terrible. 2003 unbearable. Did you see the photos?

Your ex-friend's sister, met someone at a club and he kissed her.

It was that guy you hooked up with ages ago

All the outfits were terrible

Did you see the photos?

No, I didn't, but thanks, though

I'm so in love that I might stop breathing

No, I didn't see the news

We were somewhere else

I was taken by the view

We were in Paris

The privacy sign's on the door

Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours

Sit quiet by my side in the shade.

I wanna brainwash you into loving me forever

I wanna transport you to somewhere the culture's clever

I want to confess my truth in swooping, sloping, cursive letters

HIGH INFIDELITY

You said I was freeloading

I didn't know you were keeping count

Put on your records and regret me

I bent the truth too far tonight and I was dancing around it

Put on your headphones and burn my city

Your picket fence is sharp as knives

Do you really wanna know where I was April 29th?

Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?

Storm coming, good husband

I dragged my feet right down the aisle

I'd pay if you'd just know me

It seemed like the right thing at the time

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

It's never enough

GLITCH

We were supposed to be just friends

You don't live in my part of town, but maybe I'll see you out some weekend depending on what kind of mood and situationship I'm in and what's in my system

You don't live in my part of town

Maybe I'll see you out some weekend depending on what kind of mood and situationship

What's in my system?

I think there's been a glitch.

I'm not even sorry

It must be counterfeit

I was supposed to sweat you out

In search of glorious happenings of happenstance on someone else's playground

It's been two-thousand one-hundred ninety days of our love blackout

Our love is blacking out

The system's breaking down

I'll go back to wanting dudes who give nothing

I thought we had no chance

That's romance.

Let's dance

WOULD'VE COULD'VE SHOULD'VE

If you would've blinked, then I would've looked away at the first glance

If you tasted poison, you could've spit me out at the first chance

And if I was some paint, did it splatter on a promising grown man?

If I was a child, did it matter, if you got to wash your hands?

All I used to do was pray: would've, could've, should've

If you'd never looked my way, I would've stayed on my knees

I damn sure never would've danced with the devil a5 nineteen

The God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven

Now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts

Memories feel like weapons

Now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering

If you never touched me, I would've gone along with the righteous

If I never blushed, then they could've never whispered about this

If you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was

Lord, you made me feel important until you tried to erase us

You're a crisis of my faith

If I'd only played it safe

I would've stayed on my knees and I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen

God rest my soul

I miss who I used to be

The tomb won't close

I regret you all the time

I can't let this go

I fight with you in my sleep

The wound won't close

I keep on waiting for a sign

I regret you all the time

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?

Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts

Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first

DEAR READER

If it feels like a trap, you're already in one

Get out your map. Pick somewhere and just run

Burn all the files

Desert all your past lives. If you don't recognize yourself that means you did it right

Never take advice from someone who's falling apart

You should find another

Bend when you can, snap when you have to

You don't have to answer just cause they asked you

The greatest of luxuries is your secrets

When you aim at the devil make sure you don't miss

I wander through these nights

I prefer hiding in plain sight

These are desperate prayers of a cursed man, spilling out to you for free

Darling, darling, please

You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking

I'm walking to a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there

I pace in my pen and my friends found friends who care

No one sees when you lose when you're playing solitaire

You should find another guiding light, but I shine so bright

HITS DIFFERENT

I washed my hands of us at the club

You made a mess of me

I pictured you with other girls in love, then threw up on the street

They say that if it's right, you know

Each bar plays our song and nothing has ever felt so wrong

Oh my, love is a lie

It hits different

It hits different this time

Moving on was always easy for me to do

It hits different 'cause it's you

I used to switch out these Kens and just ghost

Just rip the Band-Aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw

Freedom felt like summer then on the coast but now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings

I never don't cry at the bar

My sadness is contagious

I slurred your name 'til someone puts me in a car

I stopped receiving invitations

I found the artifacts

I cried over a hat

Curse the space that I needed

I'll trace the evidence to make it make some sense

Why's the wound is still bleeding?

You were the one that I loved

You don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough

This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy

In the good in the world, you once believed in me

I felt you and I held you for a while

I could still melt your world

I heard your key turn in the door down the hallway

Is that your key in the door?

Is it okay?

Is it you?

Have they come to take me away?

KARMA (FEAT. ICE SPICE)

Karma is that girl

Karma is your chеck about to bounce

Karma is a fire in your house

She's about to pop up unannounced

She is never leaving you alone

Now your switching up your behavior

It's okay, baby, you ain't gotta worry

Karma never gets lazy

Keep your head up

I won't let up

Karma is a beauty winning that pageant

YOU'RE LOSING ME

I don't understand

I know you don't

We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't

I remember looking at this room, and loving it cause of the light

I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

I'm getting tired even for a phoenix that's always rising from the ashes and mending all my gashes

You might just have dealt the final blow

Stop, you're losing me

I can't find a pulse

My heart won't start anymore for you

You're losing me

Every morning, I glared at you with storms in my eyes

How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying?

I sent you signals

My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

The air is thick with loss and indecision

I know my pain is such an imposition

You know what they all say

You don't know what you got until it's gone

How long could we be a sad song?

We were too far gone to bring back to life

I gave you all my best me's and my endless empathy

All I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier fighting in only your army

Don't you ignore me

I'm the best thing at this party

I wouldn't marry me either

I'm a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her

I'm fading

Do something, babe, say something

Lose something, babe, risk something

"Choose something, babe,

I got nothing to believe, unless you're choosing me

My heart won't start anymore

ANTI-HERO (FEAT. BLEACHERS)

Sometimes, I feel like everybody is an art bro lately

I just judge them on the hill

Maybe I'm the problem, it's me

____, you'll be fine

#taylor swift lyrics.#inbox memes.#roleplay starters.#rp memes.#rp starters.#roleplay memes.#rph #myfanwy sources.

32 notes · View notes

twistedwonderlandshenanigans · 5 months

Text

December Drabbles

Prompt 15: Family Character: Trey + Vizzie (OC) ----------------------------------------------- "Are you excited to go home for the holidays?" Trey chuckled a bit at the question as he popped two trays of cookies into the oven and set a timer, pushing his glasses up his nose a bit. "My house is more of a circus than Ace and Deuce are clowns, but yeah. Yeah I am." Vizzie kicked her feet a bit and huffed, amused. She was sitting on a stool across from Trey's working area. According to Riddle, Trey was 'stress baking' because he wanted to make sure he knew all of his eleven siblings favourite desserts still, and for whatever reason around the holidays he would get a bout of uncertainty in his skills and needed to bake every recipe and get the dorm to review it before he went home to do it again. Not that anyone in Heartslaybul was complaining. Nor Grim or Vizzie, as they had appointed themselves as honorary Heartslaybul members for the time being....while it was convenient. This was supposed to be his last batch of cookies, but she didn't think twice when he started working on another dessert, figuring he might be making something of Riddle's request, or to practice something for his parents. "How do you keep track of all your siblings' favourite desserts?" Trey gave her a bit of a mischevious smile. "Well it changes slightly every year, but this year my parents sent me a list. But I remember it by PEARLY WHITE." It took a moment for her to register what he said. "....Like...like a tooth?" "Yeah. Pecan pie, eclairs, apple strudel, red velvet cupcakes, lemon bars, yule log, warabi mochi, halwa....then it's the younger kids so straight up icing was one of their answers, tres leches but he mostly just eats the whipped cream, and Evelyn is too young to eat solid foods still, but I needed her name for the sake of the perfect acronym." He shook his head a bit, smiling. "It's only gotten more difficult as each of my siblings starts branching out into their world studies, but it's made for a fun challenge learning about other cultures desserts." "That would explain why I didn't recognize a few of those dessert names....but you listed them off so perfectly, and you know you're a good baker, so why do you worry so much?" Trey smiled more as he resumed working on the dessert he was currently on. "They're my family. They're the people I'll give my best for, all the time, every time. It's exhausting, but it's worth it. They mean the world to me." His response gave Viz plenty of food for thought. He watched her expression carefully, before deeming it best to just let her think about it for a while - not in regards to him, but in regards to what her family...her biological family meant to her. It wasn't until he slipped a plate of ginger molasses cookies in front of her that she snapped out of her spiral of thoughts. She looked up at him slightly surprised. "These weren't on your list- why did you make them?" Trey smiled at her. "Ace told me what you said about me - something about a big brother figure? I'm not changing my acronym, but we can pretend there's a silent "g" at the end of "white"." She flushed a bit, looking back down at the plate of cookies in front of her, Trey moving away for a moment to give her time to put together some words. He brought back a glass of milk, setting it gently next to the cookies. He didn't expect her to all but launch herself at him, hugging him tightly and whispering a tiny "Thank you."

He chuckled a bit and pat her head, before hugging her back, making her feel more secure and safe than she had felt in years. ".....I'm still going to beat Ace's ass for that, but....thank you...." "You realize though, being my little sibling doesn't come without it's drawbacks. You have to laugh at all my jokes now, even if they aren't funny. And you're susceptible to a hundred times more teasing." Trey gave her a shit eating smile, softening to something more genuine as he heard her laugh a bit through tears. "I think I can deal with that if it means I get to feel how I feel right now.....give or take some embarrassment."

#v talks #twisted wonderland #twst #twst headcanons #twst hcs #twst scenarios #trey clover #twst trey #vizzie castello #oc: vizzie #twst fluff #twst oc #december drabbles

7 notes · View notes

strawberryblondie-locks · 1 year

Text

Meet cute

Chainsaw man, Asa & denji, fluff

One shot, 470 words.

It was a nice breezy afternoon, the streets were relatively deserted and some of the restaurants were starting to close for the night.

Walking by, a worn out girl could be seen from the windows of the restaurants.

She seemed to be fairly exhausted, as if the notion of walking itself was too tiring for her to continue.

Asa sighed as she carried on with slowly strolling across the street, "High school is going to be the end of me..." she said, while looking down at the ground.

The only thing she could think of right now was her soft, comfy bed. After such a long school day, she needed a proper rest.

Until she noticed a commotion outside a cafe nearby.

"Get your hands off me, man! You can't go pushing people whenever you want!" Yelled the boy who stumbled away from the café entrance.

"For the last time young man, you have to keep quiet while you're inside the café! There are customers who get disturbed by your loud demeanour. Next time, try to keep your mouth shut and we won't have to make this conversation anymore." Said the man in the cafe entrance, and shut the door with a loud thud.

"Ugh..dammit.." Said the boy, walking away with a frown on his face.

It was only when they made eye contact, she noticed she had been standing still and staring at their banter the whole time.

She was searching for a quick apology of some kind, something that would make the situation less awkward than she intended it to be, but all that came out of her mouth was a quick muttering of words.

“Oh. Um… sorry. I’ll be… I’ll be going now.” She mumbled as she avoided eye contact and quickly walked away from him.

"...wait a second," said the boy, which made her stop in her tracks. "Aren't you from the Fourth East High School? I recognise that uniform.." he said Eagerly.

Which made asa turn around to ask how would he recognise it..and to her suprise she was shocked to find herself talking to that annoying chainsaw man fan she met on the school's rooftop.

She felt mildly annoyed by this realisation, she really wasn't up to a chit chat about chainsaw man. Further more, she could not stand a sore loser pretending to be chainsaw man.

"...I guess its because we study in the same school?" She said irritably, while clutching onto her bags handle.

"Yeah, no shit." He said in a matter-of-fact voice. It seemed as though a light bulb went off in his head and he Shamelessly said "Hey, have you heard about chainsaw man? He's totally awesome. Wanna talk about him?"

Asa wasn't having this. Rolling her eyes, she made a mean glance at him and walked away.

Leaving him standing alone, dumbfounded.

#chainsaw man fanfic #chainsawman #denji chainsaw man #denji csm #denji #chainsaw man manga #chainsaw man asa mitaka #asa mitaka #csm asa mitaka #asa mitaka x denji #chainsaw man part 2 #i really really like them #my first fanfic yay #i need them to interact so bad #denji x asa mitaka

54 notes · View notes

someoneinjersey · 3 months

Text

made it through the weekend and even was able to go get some things done before we went and picked Bizzy up from her babysitter. i got my oil changed and i wanted to throw a fit because it cost $68. Ten years ago I could go right down the road and get an oil change for less than $25. what the actual fuck. so goddamn aggravating. told my mom about it and how as usual i'm not even a week into the month and basically all my disability money is gone. all she said was "welcome to adulthood. sad." and i swear i wanted to reach through the phone and shake the shit outta her. last week or the week before, kate and i had a big not-fight and during our talk afterwards we discussed how since my mom is my single biggest trigger and/or the source of seemingly unrelated triggers, i need to go back and make more boundaries or reinforce the ones i tried to put in place a while ago. and i was like hm, okay, i'll have to think about how i can broach the subject of say, being in contact like once a week unless something comes up maybe. then the very next day mom hit me with "you know i think if you didn't come to see me in october i wouldn't have survived" and i just threw my fucking hands in the air and gave up. idk what to fucking do and i don't have a therapist anymore and i'm extra moody about it all right now because i started my period four days late.

in any case regarding money, i was able to not mooch off kate all weekend since we went away so early in the month, and so the only things i "treated" myself to (besides food which is 50/50 on whether or not it's a treat or making life easier or whatever) was a denim boiler suit from walmart, potting soil, four pots, and a grow lamp so i can repot and move the four plants that live on the kitchen windowsill. i've never kept plants alive this long so i don't intend on letting them die yet, so they're getting bigger pots and new soil and i'll likely move them into my bedroom. probably switch night stands and stick them on the one in the far corner with the grow lamp. i wish we had places to put them out in the house but A we get zero sun B the aloe plant and chrysanthemum aren't good for the cats and C i'm the only one that takes care of them anyway so they might as well just stay in my space. and it's also like, is it "treating" myself to something if it's keeping a living thing alive? idk. and the denim boilersuit looks so fucking cute i have no regrets spending $28 on it.

it's still incredibly weird drinking coffee every day but it has been helping my moods, surprisingly. i also make myself have a cup of tea (usually decaffeinated green tea) before bed. i'm still keeping up with my planner, though i'm letting myself slide when it comes to my little goal of reading every day. if i blow through too many stories too fast i burn out, so i'm taking my current book slowly and giving myself some grace to take days off. i've eaten like shit since thursday what with being away from home (and today being busy and too tired to cook) so i've noticed i feel not as good in that respect but i can get back on track maybe by tomorrow. maybe. still being exhausted and also being in my period doesn't really bode well for having the energy to make healthy meals or being able to deny my period mood cravings. i have a very unhealthy relationship with food. my feelings inside turn foul and evil if i can't have exactly what i want to eat when i want it if i have a craving. it might actually be psychotic.

i have some things i've been wanting to write, little fanfic ideas. or maybe not so little. but i can't activate that switch in my brain to actually do it. i have hang ups. a lot of them. bah

oh and i left my apple watch on the other side of the state like a fuckin champ. night yall

3 notes · View notes

tomsawyee · 7 months

Text

Every time a Pretty Good RPG comes out, the same brand of post crops up and gets reblogged by Pretty Much Everyone, and it always functionally boils down to:

"See??? People still love single player games!!"

It's pretty easy to see where this take comes from. With the advent of consoles and internet connections that can functionally "always" be online (ymmv, our private internet infrastructure is woefully lacking), AAA has been on a shift away from offline standalone experiences for ~15 years.

What this take ignores, though, is where this shift in what gets greenlit and published comes from.

No amount of "proof" that single player character RPGs still make money is going to change the fact that shitting out Call of Duty every year makes more.

The games audience on Tumblr is heavily skewed toward character games with flexibly approachable RPG mechanics and gamified relationship interactions. This community, large though it may seem from the inside as all fan communities feel, is a microscopic slice of the games market. Every rando who's ever worked in a store that sells consoles can confirm: The vast majority of Xbox One's and PS4's are/were Call of Duty + Fifa and/or Madden Machines. These games are annual releases with minimal change between titles and robust+heavily monetized online features.

Bioware didn't shit out Anthem because the (exhausted, mismanaged) workers there wanted to make Destiny: But Worse. Bethesda didn't shit out Fallout 76 because their devs thought it would be a compelling restructuring of the IP they had already rendered unrecognizable under the survival MMO umbrella. They did it because EA and Zenimax, publicly traded billion dollar parasites, wanted to cash in on the fact that, if you can tap this content well just right, you can convince people to keep paying for your game forever. They did it because we've been modding the shit out of Skyrim for 10 years and they're losing sleep over the fact that we haven't had to keep giving Zenimax (Microsoft, lmao) more money to do so.

The antidote to this problem isn't to cross our fingers and pray that Dragon Age 4 doesn't suck (It's going to) (If it even comes out at all). It's to stop placing our hopes in the hands of enormous publishers, and to do start digging for games that scratch the itches AAA is intentionally missing because they aren't infinite money pits.

The antidote to the frustration of corporatized art-making is the same for every medium: Go looking for the thing that you want. It probably exists, and it is probably being drowned out in the mainstream by multi-million dollar marketing campaigns for Assassin's Creed: We Promise We Don't Abuse Women Anymore Lmao XIII. You don't even have to manually dig through itch.io-- Investing a little more in this hobby we all love can start with something as simple as clicking the "more like this" equivalent tab on whatever online marketplace you use and reading more about a title that doesn't cost $59.99 but still catches your eye. Mainstream indie-adjacent publishers like Devolver and Annapurna Interactive have strong recent track records of enabling small/medium studios to make games that are compelling and fun without the looming specter of infinite monetization and breaking employee's backs to make sure horse balls shrink in the cold.

I really hope you consider this perspective if you feel like BG3 came out of nowhere. It was in Early Access for almost 3 years, but it was largely panned from the mainstream Hype Cycle. Larian self-publishes, and games journalism is by-and-large not journalism but marketing, so this enormous game was incredibly easy to miss if you weren't actively looking for it.

Every tier of this industry has its own foundational rot, its own bad actors, its own entities that we really don't want to give our money to. But I promise, taking a little bit of time to go digging past the AAA buzz of the week will net you a better experience than waiting for megacorps to place something in front of you that is worthy of your time.

#bg3

4 notes · View notes

beerecordings · 1 year

Text

Wolf Bite - Part 21

“You need to let me in to see my pack.”

The secretary at the police station is decidedly unimpressed with him. She's wearing a perfume so overpowering Marvin thinks she might have put it on just to mess with any werewolves who dared to come through her door.

“There's a dozen reporters here trying to get a story, sir,” she tells him coolly, tap-tap-tapping away at her keyboard. “I can't let just anybody in.”

“I'm the one who was with the Second! I sat with that weirdo for half an hour before Jackie could track down the Alpha! Could I be any more involved in this?”

“Thank you for reporting the Second and the scene of the crime to the police. Now, if you will kindly leave, I need to keep the space clear.”

“There is fucking no one else in here.”

“Dana.” A familiar voice cuts her off from the door that leads to the back, and Marvin's gaze shoots over to Sean, his face blooming with a smile as he sees his friend upright and out-of-hospital again. “He's with me.”

“Yeah, Dana,” shoots Marvin, darting back towards Sean. “I can't believe you're up!”

Sean hugs him tenderly, flinching slightly even with small movements. “No way I was leaving them without advocacy during all this. I know the chief here and some of the detectives. We're getting everything figured out now.”

“How are they?”

Sean's look tells him too much. “Schneep and the missing uni student aren't shifting back. The uni kid I think I can get out of here if I'm careful and he stays friendly. But Schneep...”

“It's that bad?”

“It's going to take time, that's all. It's going to take time. But Chase is human. Shaken up, but human. They just got done with his interview.”

His chocolate smell, painted uncertainly in different packmate and Alpha scents, hits Marvin hard in the gut. He tears away from Sean and follows the scent into a room down the hallway, finding Chase sitting listlessly along the wall. “Chase, Chase!”

They crash together like birds in the air, Marvin throwing Chase back onto the couch and scenting him decisively, rubbing their cheeks together. “Holy shit, I thought I might never see you again, I thought – ”

“Marvin,” whimpers Chase, burying his face in his shoulder and squeezing him close. “It's so terrible, you can't imagine.”

“My poor darling.”

“I'm so glad you sent Jackie to come find us.”

Marvin can't help but laugh shakily, clinging to his friend. The implication that Marvin calls the shots is flattering. “Jackie decided all on his own. But I'll be happy to have you both as pack too.”

“You mean it? It wasn't just to help us out? You'll have us as pack?”

Marvin wraps around him tighter. “Of course. We're all going to look after each other now. Darling, what happened to Schneep?”

Chase whines and shakes his head. Sean comes over to put his hand on Marvin's shoulder, leaning in close. “He can't shift back.”

“Sean said, but how do we get him back? What happened?”

Chase groans. “I can't tell the story all over again.”

“We'll fill Marvin in on the details later,” Sean assures him.

“What was Anti like while you waited with him?” asks Chase, looking up at last. “They said you waited with him while Jackie handled things his way. Was he... nice?”

Marvin snorts. “Um, no. Well. He didn't do much. He was so exhausted. Beat to shit, really. Just laid there and mumbled a couple things about his brother and his Alpha.”

Chase and Sean exchange looks, and Marvin understands there's a lot he still doesn't know. “What will happen to him?” whispers Chase.

Sean shakes his head. “I don't know yet,” he says quietly. “They said I can talk to him later. We'll figure it out. Okay?”

“Where's Jackie?”

Marvin can answer that one. “He's home, lovey. So worn through he didn't even want to watch his favorite shows. He's going to be out of commission for a while. But he's okay, Chase, and so are you.”

“I... I want to see him,” says Chase, with something almost like shame in his voice.

Marvin knows the need for his Alpha when he's scared can be powerful. He leans in and rubs his thumb across the back of Chase's skull. “Soon as he's up for some stimulus, I'll bring you right to him for a proper scenting. But I'm your pack too and I'm not going to let anything hurt you in the meantime.”

Chase nods, eyes drifting again.

“I'm going to be in and out talking to Henrik and JJ, trying to calm them and bring them back, but it will take time,” Sean explains. “JJ's doing better – having a stable Alpha will do wonders for him – but Henrik's not snapping out of it well. He could use something to ground him that doesn't remind him of all this wolf stuff.”

Marvin nods slowly. “I might have an idea. You do what you can and I'll work on it. But you'll also get some damn sleep tonight, Sean, and let your brother look after you. You're just going to burn yourself right out again, hurt like this.”

Sean colors, his scent twisting with feeling, but it steadies out again after a second, and he deflates with one short nod.

Marvin turns to look at Chase, wiping at a smudge of dirt on his cheek. “It's all going to turn out okay, Chase. Right now, I think you need a hot shower, some food, and a nap, okay?”

Chase's mouth trembles. “I don't feel safe in my house.”

“I'll guard you,” Marvin promises. “I'll clean the place up and make you something to eat and check that all the doors are locked. Nothing will hurt you while you're with me.”

Chase's eyes well up. “She's really not going to get us again.”

“No,” says Marvin. “She's really, really not.”

Chase closes his eyes, letting his head tilt back. The cold fluorescent lights shine white on his face.

“Come on, brother,” says Marvin, putting an arm around him. “Let's get you home.”

The room's too small.

JJ makes himself smaller too, backed into a corner, hiding under a metal frame with blankets on top. He wishes the blankets were underneath with him, but he doesn't want to get out from under the darkness to pull them down with him.

The smell in here is so stale, chemicals in old paints and floors mopped drudgedly in clinically citrus soaps. There's no smell at all of another wolf. Not anywhere he turns his head. There's some distant movement, beyond his four walls, but everything else in here is dead quiet.

He waits for a long time. For his Alpha, the new one or the old, doesn't much matter as long as somebody, anybody, comes back for him. For his new packmates, unsteady on their feet in a way the Alphas aren't, wrapped close in the scent of fear and each other. For his Second who used to scratch his ears and whisper to him.

He laps at his side. His tongue feels scratchy. It almost hurts. The fur is thin.

The door opens. He jerks further back, pressing himself into the corner, underneath the safety of his frame. Some big human comes towering over him, giving him commands he doesn't understand. They put something on the floor that smells good enough to make his stomach hurt for the emptiness, but he won't come out, and eventually, the human goes away.

JJ's not supposed to eat first. That's for his Alpha and his Second. He doesn't want to eat without his pack. He needs to urinate, too, but then the whole room will smell of it.

Why did the Alpha let the humans take him? Does he not want JJ? Where did Second go? Is he just... alone?

He gnaws at patches of fur on his arms. There's this ache running through his whole body, and it's migrating towards his head, leaving a pounding pain there. He wants Second, wants Second, wants Second.

The door opens again. He hides.

Oh, it's another wolf now. JJ wags his tail feebly. It may not be good news, though - he's a lone wolf right now. He has no protection if the other wolf attacks.

He's wearing his human skin, though, thin and unthreatening. A long beat passes as the stranger takes in the scent of the room.

"Hiding all the way under there?" he asks, after a minute.

JJ watches the floor carefully, chewing on his paws.

The stranger hums and moves closer to him. JJ puffs out a warning, but the other wolf just comes closer still and... sits.

He sits for a long time, actually. Sits and speaks in this soft, rolling voice. The little room is warm. The stranger smells like coffee over a bonfire.

“Come get something to eat.”

Oh, 'eat' is a word he knows. The stranger gets up and brings back something that smells really nice. Then he leans down.

JJ's in his fangs and fur beneath the bed, staring at him, his teeth centimeters from his throat. And that other wolf leans right down and shows him his friendly, bearded face – and the whole of his white neck.

JJ blinks. Properly friendly, that is. Everyone's so unfriendly lately. His new packmates were nice after a while, but everyone was so jumpy and angry at first. His tail picks up again.

“You've got a real nice temperament even like this, don't you?” soothes the stranger. “I bet you'd love go run around outside together. Look at you. Not a bad bone in your body. You've had a lot of people looking for you, mister. Kidnapped right out of your dorm room. Bet your roommate thought he was getting free tuition. Come here, then. Have something to eat.”

He's beckoning at him, his scent warming the air. JJ licks his paws thoroughly one more time before he crawls out from underneath the metal frame. He looks up at the stranger warily. The other wolf reaches out an open palm, rumbling at him. JJ licks his hand carefully.

“There's a boy,” sighs the stranger, presenting him with a big chunk of meat, still bleeding. JJ tears into it without further complaint, but the smell of the stranger quickly becomes even more interesting. JJ steps around his legs and climbs into his space, sniffing heavily around his neck.

“I'm Sean, by the way,” he says, reaching up to rub JJ's ears. “I'm going to look out for you, I promise.”

He smells... like the peace-making wolf. His packmate. JJ huffs out as much of a bark as he can manage and sits down, crushing the man's legs. Sean groans, but doesn't protest, laughing.

The door swings again and JJ rears, tail between his legs, but Sean reaches out to grab him tightly around the neck with both arms, hushing him. “What did I tell you?” he calls to the human in the doorway. “This is just a scared kid. He's no danger.”

“He's still not shifted back,” answers a voice. The big man from before. He smells like metal and paper.

“I can handle him. I'm certified. You can release him to me.”

“He's got to have the harness on.”

There's a long pause. JJ hides against Sean, pressed against the smell of his packmate.

“Sean. You know he has to. He can't go with you without it.”

“Let me take Henrik too, at least.”

“Are you out of your mind? He is actively biting anyone who even tries to get in that room. You'll have to try again later.”

“I can't just leave him here, locked up for nothing. He could get worse.”

“It's out of your hands now. You can take this one if you swear you'll follow your protocol and keep the damn harness on him. He might be a human under all that, but right now, he's thirty-eight kilograms of wild canine.”

Sean's scent sours with frustration and fatigue. “He's not wild. Just – give it to me.”

Something hits the floor beside them. The door closes again.

“Okay, pal, okay,” murmurs Sean, rubbing his ears again. That's just magnificent, that is. Yeah, proper friendly. “I know we just met. Know things are a little chaotic, a little scary. But you'll feel better if I can get you out of here. So I'll tell everyone to clear out for a minute, and I'll lead you somewhere safe. But you got to let me get something on you you're not going to like, okay?”

JJ doesn't really get it. It's scary when Sean starts to pull something around his throat and chest, and his ears fold onto his head, but he doesn't pull away. He doesn't want to be alone anymore, trapped. He wants to go to his pack mates.

Something clicks around his neck. JJ shifts and licks at Sean's wrist, gazing up at him with big eyes.

“There's a good boy,” whispers Sean, and the words don't make sense, but he smells like sorrow. “Baby steps. We'll get you back, Jameson.”

Jameson. Oh. He knows that word too, from somewhere.

“I'm going to keep you real close to my side. I couldn't quite stop you if you tried to yank away, so you've really got to be calm for me. But I wouldn't take you out of here if I thought you were going to hurt someone, so just stay with me, okay? Okay.”

They get up. Sean opens the door. JJ's tail wags madly. This is really good. Maybe it's his chance to go outside. Second always takes him outside, at least once every... while, whenever he can manage. It's the best part of being alive, when he gets out of his little box, and Second takes him running. He hopes Second is coming to find him. JJ sniffs along the floor immediately, trying to pick up any trace of him. He thinks there is something far off, but not close, not recent. Instead there's the other packmate, the white one. JJ's tongue lolls out and he tries to follow the scent, but the thing around his chest tightens and pulls him away. He turns with a sneer to attack it, but Sean's hand comes down quickly to warn him away.

“Just bear with me, just bear with me,” Sean tells him. “It's okay. Won't hurt you. Come on.”

But he doesn't want to come on. He can smell the white wolf. And as they move along the hallway, he hears him too. Howling and barking and snarling. JJ tries to whine, but nothing comes out. He tries to pull, but he's pulled back.

“I know, I know.” Sean's hand pets roughly at his head. “Not right now, Jameson. We can only do so much.”

Reluctantly, he follows the stranger out of his latest cage, and waits for Second to come find him.

He thinks he should probably feel angry, right about now. He's always angry, it seems, and today, he has a better reason than ever to feel angry.

“Chase?” he murmurs, reaching out to touch the wolf's back. Chase is wearing a police hoodie with a badge printed on the front and somebody else's sweatpants. He doesn't look right in it. He still kind of smells of that other Alpha and the stinking house.

Marvin should be angry.

“Feels like a completely different house,” Chase whispers, standing in his doorway like he's been glue-trapped there. The breeze comes up the porch and plays with his unwashed hair. “Will you check that no one else is inside?”

Like a kid asking Mom to check there's no monsters under the bed. But it's reasonable, Marvin knows, even though Anti and JJ and Iris are all far away. The fear won't leave Chase quickly. It was real once, and his brain will keep that knowledge as long as it thinks it has to.

“Course I will,” Marvin says. “You just stay right there.”

“N-no,” chokes Chase. “I don't want to be alone on the porch either.”

“Come right here and let me close the door on you. That's right. Take a deep scent of the place, will you?”

Chase obeys, sucking in a deep breath. “No one... no one's been here for days. I smell strangers, though.”

“The police searched the place for evidence.”

“Do you know how much they found?”

“I just heard about blood in the guest room.”

Chase's eyes flicker with something. “Schneep's.”

“Anti bit him?”

“No. JJ. Don't think he had any choice in the matter, and he definitely didn't understand what was going on even if he did. It was like it was a game to him, sometimes, and he didn't understand why we couldn't all go outside and be happy together.”

“He was a wolf for a long time.”

“Yeah.”

Chase's eyes get foggy, lost in thought, and despite the abandoned smell of the house, Marvin checks it thoroughly for him anyway. Chase showers while he guards the door and eats the takeaway Marvin gets him with gusto, tearing white meat from a fish's spine with his teeth. Maybe he should have gotten him something more American, some comfort food like a big pizza, but Marvin was the one who needed the moment of nostalgia. Like Mom always used to get him before she ran off. Nothing a good fish n' chips can't fix. They used to have it every Sunday evening. She'd walk him to the shop holding his hand and let him count out the coins to pay for it.

He should be angry about a lot of things. He usually is. About Mom, about Graham, about every fucker in the park who sneers at him and reminds him how unloved he feels, deep down, all the time, because no one ever wants to keep him.

“My stomach hurts,” Chase complains, after they're done eating.

“You're anxious,” Marvin says, petting his hands through his hair for a moment. Chase looks up at him in surprise, like he can't believe how Marvin's acting. His expression clears a second later with something like relief. “You'll take a little Ibuprofen and lie down, okay?”

“And you'll stay here tonight? Doesn't Jackie need you?”

“No, he'll just want some alone time anyway. He'll tell me if he needs me. You sure you want me to stick around, though? Won't be scared if I'm in the house in the morning?”

“Please stay, Marvin.” Chase reaches out to grip his hoodie. “I don't want to be alone.”

Marvin smiles weakly, brushing a strand of hair from his face. “Me neither, brother. Of course I'll stay.”

Chase cries a little in his bedroom, but he doesn't ask to sleep somewhere else. Marvin can smell Anti distantly, but Chase doesn't want the sheets washed. Marvin has him drink some water and take the promised Ibuprofen, and he sits in the bed beside him until Chase falls asleep.

He's bedraggled and exhausted and hurting and traumatized. Marvin should be angry, angry, angry.

Instead, he just wants to make this better for him, for all of them, for his pack. It's such a weird feeling. All these negative emotions, and he doesn't just have to squeeze them down in his chest until they burst out in a flood. He can do something with them. He can take care of someone.

“How stupid is that?” he whispers, tugging the blankets up over Chase's chest. “Thought I was mad this whole time, and maybe I was just fucking lonely. Maybe I was just looking for my pack.”

He should be mad about that too, just because it really does feel so dumb, so simple and so cheesy and so risky, to let himself give his heart away in any capacity to someone he hasn't vetted for years. But he's not mad, not tonight. He's too glad that they're alive, these wolves he's watched become wolves, and he's too glad to feel wanted for the first time in years.

Jackie wants him. That's a fact now, no longer a question, no longer a fear. And these wolves, these newcomers, these pack mates – maybe they will want to go, someday. Maybe they'll leave and it will hurt just as bad as everybody else who's left him behind. But in the meantime, he's too fucking ready to love somebody to let that fear get in the way anymore.

“How stupid is that,” he says again.

It's not stupid. Marvin burns a scenter on the dresser drawer by Chase's bed, and the whole room breathes with the smell of mint chocolate and smoke and the homey, sweet scent of the company of wolves.

#werewolf au

17 notes · View notes

altagraye · 2 years

Text

Big Big Love part 11

part 11: Send Her my Love in Bedroom Hymns

Maia Age:28

Sam age:31-32

Dean age:35-36

Roslyn age: 3

Approximate year: 2014-2015

Approximate season: 10

TW!: SMUT, Cussing, depression, self-harming behavior (I don't condone or recommend, it's terrible), Alpha!Demon!Dean

Maia:

Roslyn is three years old now. She grows so fast. Bringing her home from the hospital was no walk in the park. I had a lot to learn even with my built in Omega-mommy skills. There were tons of restless nights and don't even get me started on the teething! Raising a pup is definitely a team effort, Dean and I switching off so one of us can get some kind of sleep. Sometimes it was even a pack-wide effort. But I feel like I've gotten the hang of things by now. I'm so glad I have a multitude of cups of coffee to keep my engine running throughout the day. We moved into this inherited Bunker not too long ago, just last year I think it was? I like the layout, tons of rooms and a huge kitchen so I can actually learn how to cook something edible. It's like a maze down here. The only thing I hate about it is that there aren't any windows to the outside. I miss looking out the glass on rainy days. Oh well, It's easy for me to lose track of time.

I was so relieved that, on the day that shook my core, Ros had stayed the weekend at Bobby's. I was sitting at the mapped table reading through some of the archived Greek literature books from the library of the bunker, late at night when I felt this terrible searing pain in my neck, where Dean's claim was. Sam told Dean to stop hunting but they never did. Can't take the hunter out of the Alpha after all. Now they were trying to stop the new big-baddie, Metatron. Dean, my poor Galahad was afflicted by this dumb Mark-of-Cain thing.

But not even that would drag me away from him. We're soulmates. Dean tried to push me away from him but that only made me love him harder. I wasn't going to let him think that after all we've been through, that I was going to let some dumb scar come between us.

The pain in my neck grew and grew like someone had been cauterizing it. I looked at it as best I could in a mirror but it was fading away. It felt like smoke slipping through my fingers, unable to grab it back. I wasn't a worry-wort or negative-Nancy but I knew something was gravely wrong. i called Dean's phone and all I got was a snooty answering machine and a dial tone. I must have called him twenty times before I went to Sam's phone. I left tons of messages on his cell and other cells he had.

"Sam! What the Hell is going on?! Dean always answers when I call. My claim is breaking, please I'm terrified. I don't know what's happening. Call me back or text me fuck's sake, you have your hands off the wheel anyway."

"Gods-dammit, Sam. How many of these do I have to leave? I thought you were the smarter one? I'm gonna slash you up when you guys get home!" I ended the phone call, with my blood boiling. I checked on my claim again, the last raised bump fading within seconds, into smooth skin. Like it had never happened. What the fuck is going on? I prayed to Cas multiple times and he didn't answer me either. Not even a poof or a flap of those unruly feathers.

I sat with my head in my hands and started to cry when I heard the distinctive creak of the front door of the Bunker come open. I was beyond pissed. So I let loose.

"Sam!! Where in the fuck have you guys been? It's 2 o'clock in the morning. You've better smote the shit out of this dick-bag Angel or I'm going to explode." I turned to see Sam carrying Dean down the steps. My mate's body was limp, he had gashes on his face, now pale. And I could smell iron in the air. Whatever it was it must have been a rough fight. My hand covered my mouth and I started to cry. Who dares to hurt my Alpha? My mind was down playing the scene. Sam looked exhausted and his eyes were red and puffy like he'd been weeping for a while.

I followed them down to our room where Sam set his body down. His clothes covered in patches of his own blood. A deep hole burrowed into his chest.

"Wh- wh- what happened??? Alpha? D-dean Winchester you better answer me! Wake up!" I slapped his face for good measure. His head cast to the side and didn't bounce back. It was then that I knew he was gone. I wept into his cold chest for hours, gripping where my claim used to be, until Sam came and pried me off him.

It was easy for Sam to do judging by my small size and my natural Omega-ness. I could smell the liquor on Sam's breath. I never knew him to be much of a heavy drinker. Usually he'd share a beer or two with dean on occasion.

With the door closed I couldn't bring myself to open it again for any reason. I cried myself to sleep. Only getting about three hours of Z's. I slept on the cold ground of the bunker unable to let myself be soothed by the softness of a bed. I heard Sam gathering supplies and keeping them down in the basement part of the bunker. He stayed there for a while. I didn't know what he was up to but I didn't care about anything.

How am I going to tell this to Roslyn? I can't just say, 'Daddy's dead.' At that thought I broke even further, the reality sinking down deeper, bringing me to the bottom of the coldest seas.

I thought about dying and all the different ways I could have done it. I knew where the silver bullets were stashed. Maybe I could take one of the cars from the garage and wrap it around a tree trunk? I couldn't bring my cowardly Omega ass to do any of it because of Ros. She still needs me. She can't lose both her parents at the same time.

So to feel something once the sobbing had stopped I took one of my claws and made line after line of shallow cuts from my wrist to my elbow. I watched as the red beaded up to the surface to form a line.

Dawn came and Sam was standing over me. I knew he was there but I didn't acknowledge his presence. I began to cut myself again and Sam held me up by my mutilated arm, examining it and my state of mind. I was crying, again, from shame.

Sam lifted me up, one of his arms firm underneath my knees. He carried me to his bedroom, where I was nearly choked out by the intense pine smell. He put me on his bed. I stared at the fresh blood I had created trickling down from my wrist onto Sam's sheets.

He'd undressed himself, wearing only boxers. And joined me in bed. If he wanted to claim and ruthlessly knot me so hard that I couldn't walk for three days, I would have been fine with that. But he didn't do either. Instead he licked my wounds to heal them. Apparently some Alpha's saliva has minor healing properties.

We'd slept in his bed like normal impossibly broken people. Shattered into little tiny sharp shards. We picked each other's pieces up, little by little. Since I was now sharing Sam's bed, I had to bathe myself in scent blockers. I didn't want Roslyn getting the wrong idea and start calling Sam her dad instead. During the day I would put on a faux brave face for my daughter but at night when she was out like a light I would break again. Returning to Sam's bedroom, engulfing myself in pine and resorting to making slices in my arm. Sam would lick my wounds, so that Ros wouldn't see that I'd hurt myself.

This was the routine for a while. Brave mask in the morning, Pine and blood at night. I was so broken that I didn't have room for tears anymore, just chronic dull numbness. My heats were back to a monthly cycle once Ros was born. So Sam was apprehensive the night my heat hit, without Dean's claim to protect me.

When I'd just finished carving myself up, waves of fever wracked my body. I tried hard to muffle my ecstasy filled moans, not wanting to wake Roslyn a few rooms over. I managed to remove all my clothing. My slick covering my inner thighs and making a mess on his bed.

I didn't even try to masturbate, knowing it would only make my heat worse. Every inch of my body was covered in a layer of sweat. Sam came in. All it took was the opening of the door and a waft of my thick strawberry scent and a look of my naked form to send him into rut.

He'd closed the door and locked it. He took he clothes off down to his boxers and let his form overshadow me. His pine scent was purely intoxicating. It made me moan louder. He licked my wounds, like he did every night, but this time it was different. I made my core twitch with want. Once all the little cuts were healed up, he'd looked at my face, hazed over with need, my cheeks flushed and burning.

"Must you make me beg?" I asked breathily. I knew even after all this time and his attempted rape, deep down, buried beneath all that debris, Sam had genuine feelings for me. With the obstacle gone, why not sprint for first place and get that gold trophy? He took the bait, unable to resist.

He smashed his lips against mine into a sloppy, wet, kiss. I moaned softly into his flesh. I could feel his member aching to be inside me. He raked his clothed cock against my slickness. And nibbled at the right side of my neck, the opposite side of where Dean's claim had been. I could feel his fangs start to sink in, pricking into my skin. But he let go, instead moving down to my breast, taking my aroused and hardened nipple into his mouth. Biting the nub forcefully. His hand slithered down and found my folds.

Long fingers dragging up and down my strawberry scented slick drenched core. He started to play with my clit when he stopped completely. Sam's style was rougher than Dean's. so I could only imagine what it was like with him in bed, and I wanted more. My heart skipped a beat at thinking about the size of his knot, wanting it to be at my base. Sam sat at the edge of the bed, contemplating.

I came over to his back, looking over every toned muscle wrapped my arms through his and hugged his back tight to my breasts. I kissed his vertebrae where it met the bottom of his neck, that's as far as I could go with my height deficit. His long hair ticking my nose.I didn't want him to feel like I saw him as just happenstance. Just another Alpha opportunely placed in my path when I was feeling the absence of Dean.

"Whatever is happening between, us, It's real." I tried to make him listen to truth. His hand touched mine and he'd escaped my hug. Grabbing his jeans and his plaid shirt. "Sam!" I started to plead.

"I got to take a shower. Don't want her smelling you on me." He said leaving me in his room. Rejection again, by my second Winchester, for different circumstances. I don't understand, he was the one who had it going for me first and for a long time before I was finally sharing feelings for him. And now he won't take me up on my offer? Am I that much of a complicated Omega? That every man I've been with has to have a moral dilemma just to realize that they love me?

He practically treats Roslyn as his own, especially after Dean's death. But he's tentative with that also, it's almost like he knows something I don't. Is there a secret he isn't telling me? I can't read Sam as easily I could Dean. And that frustrates the Hell out of me. Regardless he should know that he can talk to me. About Gods-damned anything. For the remainder of my heat that week he never joined me in his bed, so I resorted to wearing long sleeve shirt in the swelter of summer to hide my cuts. He took out his rut on vanquishing some Alphas who'd smelled me near by the bunker.

Another month has passed since our buzz-kill. We haven't talked much since then. I started set out some of his favorite books for him since he got into that fight with some random demon, rendering his shoulder useless for time being. it was a bit funny seeing his arm slung up in that ridiculous looking fabric contraption. I continued my nightly ritual of scraping my claw against my flesh. Maybe if I do this often enough it'll leave dark lines? Tonight, I could feel my heat hitting again, with the blazing of sundown. Ros was fast asleep and Sam came in joining me in the kitchen. I was just finishing up washing dirty dishes that I made from a late dinner smorgasbord that I prepped for myself. The famous glutton-phase, numero-uno at the beginning of my heat.

I inhaled his Pine, this is probably the last time I'm going to smell it tonight. Saddened by the thought of him leaving me, I extended my index claw and began my macabre work on the lines, digging in a bit deeper this time. Sam growled low, his steps were full of purpose. He grabbed my bleeding arm and spun me around, pinning my lower back into the edge of the sink.

"Maia! Stop this. Stop hurting yourself! Do you have any idea how disappointed seeing you like this makes me? What if you cut too deep and I'm not here? Cas is sick and out of the question. What if Ros found you, blacked out?" His pine was so overbearing now, it was hard for me to focus.

"You don't think I haven't thought that through already? I can't stop. I can't stop it. Sam, can you help me feel something? Anything that isn't this noose around my neck? Don't you love me just a little?" Sam was a man of few words when it came to his way of loving. Instead he let his actions talk for him. He licked my fresh wounds until they'd healed. I kissed his lips needing that kind of tenderness from him. breaking the kiss I sucked in, he hasn't been this close to me in a month. I let his scent fall into my lungs and on the exhale I had to clench my legs together. I let out a controlled moan. I braced myself on the edge of the sink. My insides tightening and trembling for him.

His eyes were mesmerizing like a bright kaleidoscope of hazel. He initiated more contact first. I didn't want to influence him, I needed us to be transparent. He sucked at the right side of my neck and slipped his free hand under my shorts and underwear, grabbing a fistful of ass. I was panting against his kneading touch, feeling my slick get thicker. I knew he could smell me. his jeaned member present and grinding against my clothed slit.

He left a hickey on my neck, marking it. I let out very breathy moans, needing to be quiet. He growled, leaving a sloppy kiss on my lips. His warmth left my ass cheek, making me think he was going to stop for the night a leave, again. Instead he held out his hand, "I know a place where we can be loud." I took it without hesitation and he walked me down past darkened corridors into the garage of the Bunker.

He had some difficulty taking the Impala keys out of his breast-pocket but got it eventually. He opened up the back before he let me hop in, he raked a loving hand through my hair his eyes locking with mine.

"Sam? You know this is real, right? We're authentic." I needed him to hear that. to know that our feelings weren't sparked out of our shared grief alone. he gave me a small smile and leaned down, his back bending, giving me a sweet- pine filled smooch. That's a yes. I took my shirt and shorts off, leaving my sandals next to the rear passenger tire. My undergarments were lacy and red.

I helped out, gimpy, and took his pants off. I kissed and nibbled at his light stubble on his Adam's apple when I unbuttoned each of his buttons on his plaid shirt. That made him buck into me and send his free hand exploring into my underwear. He inserted one digit, making me gasp at the sudden penetration and wanting much more than just that. I took off his sling to completely remove his shirt and then replaced the odd contraption.

He took out his finger and licked it clean, the look in his eyes as he did made me mewl against his chest. He let me get in first and he followed closing the door. I sat down in the middle like I normally would, my skin making contact with the cold leather seat. My cheeks were flushed again and I was near trembling. I scooted my butt forward in the seat, bringing my center to the forefront and resting the back of my neck against the edge of the seat.

He kissed me again but this time he was much more forceful, letting his control slip a little. He ended the kiss by biting my lower lip, possessively and thrusting two digits as deep as they could go into my slick ridden vagina. I moaned loud, not worrying about anyone hearing my sex-filled moans. He was knuckle deep, curling his fingers in and out making me shudder and gasp with each aggressive thrust.

"Got to stretch you out a little, I'm big and your damn, tight." He explained. I moaned getting excited at the thought of him filling me. I whimpered, missing his touch when he removed his fingers and turned around grabbing something from the glove box of the Impala. I took this opportunity to remove my undergarments and cast them to the floor of the car. He turned around, taking in the scenery. I didn't conceal any part of me, opening my legs for him. he seemed a bit shocked by this at first with my straightforwardness, but his gaze quickly returned to a rut-filled haze.

he tore a small foil package with his teeth, a condom. A flash of anger came across my features and took it from him throwing it, landing in the far reaches of the dashboard. I embraced his scalp with both hands and kissed his lips. he growled sexily at my actions.He'd gotten more ridged both with his actions and where it mattered. I helped him take off his boxers and he sat down next to me.

"Ladies first." he insisted wanting me to act as the top, or at the very least equal. maybe this was to do with his length and girth. It made my mouth water. I straddled myself on top him, guiding my hand down to position him at my entrance. I lowered myself down on him, the slick helped but I could still feel just how different having another man inside me was. It wasn't necessarily better than Dean just different.

He moaned from the pressure. His head scraped against my cervix, making me whimper. In all honesty it hurt a little bit, but with the pheromones flowing through my veins and my heated state I didn't mind some pain mixed with pleasure. Unable to hold back any longer, he used his free hand to grab at my shoulder pinning me to him and forcefully bucked deeper into me. Deeper than I even thought possible, his head dipping into my cervix, making me see entire galaxies.

"Ahh! Sam." He kept at a relentless pace, each thrust harder than the last, more passionate. I felt his knot swell at my base, ready to burst. I dragged my tongue across his scars displayed on his chest, the ones Dean gave him. My walls clench down like a vice. He lifted his torso off the backseat away from a resting position. his hand cradling the base of my neck and dragging it in. His knot locked inside me and load after sweet boiling load released into my deepest parts. Not wasting another second he sunk his fangs into the flesh of the right side of my neck, claiming me. I'd screamed, climaxing from the combination of his knot, seed, and pine intoxicating me all at once. We sat there panting out our arousals, still connected for about half an hour. He lapped the blood away from his claim but made sure not to touch the puncture marks, wanting them to scar over. We waited for his knot to calm down before talking.

"I've waited a long time for this." He said rubbing my cheek with his thumb, his eyes mulling over my beauty. "Doesn't feel real, but I'm happy it is." I smiled back at him, moaning and wincing from his exit.

"Me too. I need a shower." I definitely smell like him now. Both of us wanted to start round two but were unable to with the possibility of Roslyn waking up in the middle of the night. We left the Impala in her steamed state and headed off to the shower stalls. Oh man, I'm going to feel this in the morning. Together we bathed, needing each other as support. Me nursing his gimp shoulder and him, making sure the shower water didn't sting my fresh claim. it was a miracle at all that we by the end of the cleaning we didn't still smell like each other. Now dressed, we headed off to the bedroom section of the Bunker. We stopped at his room. He landed a kiss on my forehead.

"Don't hurt yourself anymore." he said, demandingly, already exerting his Alpha nature onto his new mate. I gave him a weak smile, "Okay. Good night." That was the one thing I don't think I can promise. I'm going to sleep very solidly tonight. He rubbed my cheek with is thumb again.

" 'Night. 'Mega." Hearing him utter my dynamic, really felt like setting our actions in stone. It felt good and right. should I feel guilty for this? Being my recently deceased mate's , whom I've bore a pup with, brother? my omega instinct was telling me, no I shouldn't be ashamed. Dean died. It wasn't really cheating after all, was it? it was too late to get cold feet now. I hopped into my bed in my room, cocooning, I was starting to get too much in my own head. I couldn't help but place a hand on the crook of my left neck, where Dean's claim used to be. I wanted to cut, but didn't so I had my fill of crying until I fell asleep.

The next morning felt so odd to me, because it was like there was a light-switch that had been flipped on inside my brain. For the first time in a very long time, I felt happy. Dean and I had bonded through our emotions, I and Sam, however bonded intellectually. Not to say that Dean was dumb, he wasn't. Just the way Sam and mine brain operated was different than his. Dean thinks...thought with his heart. Sam puts that pre-law beautiful nerdy mind to work constantly. He needs to do that actually otherwise, he'd be bored out of his wits. Sam is governed by reason and thought.

I was the first person up, getting some pancakes ready for Roslyn, those were her current favorite. In a few more weeks she'd have some other favorite fad to please her palette. Pups, Gods help me. I was sipping on some coffee and got Ros up, heaving her groggy little booty out of bed and putting her in her high-chair. It was hard to get her to eat, even though she liked the stuff. She only ate about half of it, but I settled for that. In another three hours she'd only be tugging at my leg wanting more food. Her little face scrunched up in a frustrated manner. Sam, finally out of his slumber came in, fixing himself a cup of coffee from the batch I made.

"What's up buttercup?" I asked Ros, she has been talking for a little while. Mostly baby nonsense talk that only people who were close to her could comprehend. but other than that she can string very minor sentences together to get her point across. I tucked her fine hair out of her face and behind her ear. It hurt to see Dean's eyes reflected in those tiny eye sockets and his freckles on her face.

"Bored. Wanna play hide seek. Miss Daddy." I smiled as hard as I could, because that sentence coupled with the look on her face made me hurt so damned bad. Sam was silent, turned around tending to his coffee. "Daddy will be home soon, pumpkin. I promise." her eyes tensed on me.

"Wiar." Liar. I almost broke right then and there. but I used that hurt to heave myself out of the kitchen chair and pick her up.

"Somebody needs a nap, huh grumpy-face?" I told her. she didn't say anything back. I put her back to bed and rubbed her back and hummed Landslide to soothe her to sleep. that worked every time. I closed her door without a sound and Sam was in the hallway staring at me, looking guilty. I walked away from her door and collapsed down into Sam's chest, a bawling mess.

"Sam, how are we gonna fix this?" I asked him, not knowing where else to turn. He sighed but didn't answer me. He kissed his claim, the flesh still tender. Sam gave me some room, knowing I needed time to think and stir. I let my emotions fester inside me before settling down and coming to streamline. The morning faded into the night-time and I had noticed Sam's laptop open and a tab closed down. Sitting next to his laptop a stack of papers, notes upon notes of demonology.

I skimmed through them, not thinking much of it until I saw he'd written a sentence. how to become a demon with an anti-possession tattoo? Why was he so invested in this? I thought he was keeping hunting to a minimum with his shoulder. at least that's what he told me. I tried opening the window but of course it was password protected. with a tiny security question to answer.

Circles infinity expecting differently. I mulled it over for a little while before cracking it. Insanity! Circles being a cycle, for infinity so repeating the same actions over and over expecting a different outcome. It's the famous saying from Einstein, and the definition of insanity. You'd think Sam would have thought of something more difficult?

The file was titled, 'Gas-n-sip footage DD'. That's weird. maybe he's stumped on a case? since I cracked his riddle, I can help him with this. I clicked on the file and view the video. Nothing looked out of the ordinary, just some guy looking over the magazines on one isle. almost all Gas-n-sips are the same, so seeing this brought back memories of before the Mill. Crazy to think how much my life has changed since then.

another man came on the screen and caught my attention. He had bowed out legs and dressed a bit plainly, with a cap on. The taller man suddenly attacked the other one and threw him into the shelf, for no reason. He looked right at the camera and I froze in place. I'd know that face anywhere. it was Dean, in the flesh. No can't be, has to be a shifter or something, right? for a second his eyes flashed, pure black like they'd been covered in soot. and then returned to normal. I closed the laptop horrified, appalled, excited, elated, terrified for Dean, and then livid. I took Sam's laptop and ran to his room where he was sleeping.

I threw it purposely on his shoulder making him wake from the pain. I mounted him and pounded on his chest. "How long? How long did you know?! You told me he was DEAD! He's alive! Breathing. Walking. and a black eyed fool!" by the end I put my forehead to his, headbutting. I shouldn't have done it because it hurt like hell.

I dismounted him, falling to the floor with a thud. He got up from bed, sitting with me on the floor.

"I haven't known for long, only a few days. I was going to tell you. I just didn't know how. I'm afraid of losing you. I thought, if you knew, you'd go running back to him and leave me. Everyone leaves. Go! Go see what he's become!" he said his mood changing mid-speech.

I grabbed his face in both my palms, surprising him with my actions. I kissed his forehead, the way he did to me. "I can't leave you. I won't. Mates for life. That goes for dean too. I'll be back. I need to go rescue my Galahad Sam. Can you do me a favor, and don't follow me? Watch over Roslyn, please. If something goes wrong, I have you on speed dial." I had a mission now, a purpose.

Sam closed his eyes savoring my touch and thinking through my promise.

"Come back in one piece." he demanded from me. "Always." I answered my new lover, before giving him a kiss tasting his pine. I gathered my things quickly, packing a demon knife and all the love and courage I could muster within me. I took one of the random working vehicles from the garage and drove to the Black Spurs bar pulling in to the a parking spot and turning off the engine. I exhaled, Zeus give me strength, resting my forehead against the steering wheel. Here goes nothing. I exited the vehicle and locked it, keeping aware of my surroundings. I'm walking into a demon bar, where there are guaranteed to be Alphas of some kind.

Demons are not below rape, if anything they are encouraged by it. I'm still in my heat cycle so the fact that I'm still standing in this musky cesspool is a miracle. Maybe Sam's claim helped me out with that? I swung the door open, my only goal being to find Dean. The music stopped every pair of eyes on me and my Omega body. the music returned and some of the Alphas nearby were calling for me.

"Come over here, 'mega, wanna ride this pony, cowgirl?" the first alpha whistled.

"Got a fat knot, waiting for ya, Darling!" One fisted his clothed dick in my direction. I gave him the bird, not exactly intimidating considering my tiny fingers.

"We can fuck that cunt, two for one discount, Baby-gal. Awhoooooo." Another mock-howled banging on the chest of his buddy.

I didn't acknowledge them at all. instead payed attention to Dean, seeing his back turned to me. he had a red shirt on and jeans, boots. His hair grown out a little and combed over semi-neatly. I could smell the liquor that emanated from him as I closed the space between us. he was sucking face with a blonde. I crossed my arms and dragged my tongue across my canine.

"Didn't know they made Barbie the black-eyed-bitch edition. Must be new." that got her attention. She broke the kiss, get your filthy lips off my man. Dean laughed, entertained by my insult. I let my eyes pierce into his, wanting to peer into his soul, if there was one left.

"Why don't you get your own knot, you reek of sex, Omega slut." I wasn't going to show weakness, especially not here. plus the fact that I was already vexed. I took the demon blade out of my black suit jacket, pinned her hand to the table and impaled it to the wood, making her scream. for good measure I made sure she would need plastic surgery to fix that up-turned nose of hers. Feeling it break underneath my knuckles.

Dean was smiling from ear to ear, revealing his perfect rows of teeth. He whistled after taking another shot of liquor.

"You, me- need to fuck. Right now. You make me all tingly when you take control like that, M." just hearing his voice again, made me so happy but I knew the fact that him being here for all this time and not in the Bunker meant something was astray. He rose from his seat. I couldn't tell if the whiskey scent was coming from his body or the exuberant amount of alcohol he'd been consuming. His hand took mine and led me out of the bar, I needed his touch so much. What have they done to you, Love?

He took me across the street to a dingy looking motel. He took me into his arms, bridal style. Shifting his weight to one foot, he kicked the door in. He set me down on the bed and topped me. Taking the collar of my jacket into his hands dragging me up to meet his lips I could taste the poison on his lips, still lingering. I couldn't help but moan into him. I had missed him for so long and that made a deadly combo with my heat being active at the moment. He was rougher than usual, like he'd lost his inhibitions.

"That's what I like to hear." His hands stroked down the fabric of my jacket, reaching the juncture of the button that connected the two sides, and jerked ripping the button off. I wasn't going to let my heat distract me from why I came here. he took my heels off along with his reddish-rusty colored jacket and black shirt. he unzipped my jeans with his teeth, growling at the scent of my slick beneath them.

"Dean, we need to talk." I said. He undid the metal button of my jeans and licked at my clothed slit, making me moan again. He descended and hopped off the bed taking the bottom of my jeans and tugging them off my legs. He cast off his boots and yanked his pants down enough to where his length fell out, slapping firm against the base of his stomach.

"Sure, let the skin do the talkin', Baby." He said in a lustful tone, returning to the bed. The abused springs creaking under our combined weight. I was already slick as all Hell. So he wouldn't need to prep me or anything. Before that plane could come in for a landing, I needed to get my point across before I wasn't able to talk. he started to remove my silky pink underwear. I need to say it now.

"Dean! You died. and came back, why not come home? Do you miss me at all? Or Ros?" He had begun working on eating me out, taking in my slick with an aggressive appetite. I felt waves of heat wash over me. Fucking Cerberus in a handbasket! I couldn't lose track of my objective. I stared at him through the valley of my breasts, needing his answer, before I couldn't make conscious thought.

He was staring back at me, his tongue scraping at my walls. His eyes were filled with rut and then turned as black as coal in a millisecond. My chest heaved and my heart was drumming in my body, pumping my heat through me. Out of my core, down through my thighs and into my toes, making them curl. I was close to cumming, feeling my heat searing into my cheeks. He still had enough Dean in him to tease me, like old times and didn't give me a chance to release. he licked my slick off his lips and stalked further up to me.

He looked at me like prey. His eyes still blackened. He swallowed, and I could feel his hot breath on my neck.

" 'Course I do. What I can't take a vacation? Oh, am I scaring you sweetheart? Want the green ones back? Personally I prefer these. Think they look better on me." He answered. I was about to open my mouth when. His bullshit reply made me angry I took his throat in my grip, my claws scraping with his skin.

"I'm not afraid, I'm sad. This isn't you. Death is no holiday, it's finite! I felt your claim sever!!" I let my feeling spill out. He cackled against my grip. His eyes returning to the shade of green that I adored and knew so well.

"Welcome to the Dark-side, death is only a new beginning, Maia." His brows furrowed for a second. Laughing again but it sounded more like a scoff. He grabbed at my neck with one hand to pull me up to him so he could take my jacket off. He threw it, landing on a lampshade, darkening the room a bit. He set my neck down, and put his lips next to my right ear. His hand stroked at Sam's claim.

"Somebody's getting on the naughty list this year. You think I couldn't smell him on you? Taste him inside you? It's pretty sad really. He gave you a pity fucking. And This ain't no pity fuck." he said making his eyes return to black. He plunged himself into me, making gasp after gasp escape me. His fangs extended and tore into the left side of my neck. His Whiskey coursed throughout my entire body, spreading from cell to microscopic cell. The claiming hurt but it felt exhilarating at the same time. My veins were filled with Pine and Whiskey melting into my own strawberry scent. A potent triquetra. Throughout the sex, I felt something burn into my wrist. I stared at it and watched dark lines, as if someone was giving me a tattoo, form a symbol I had never seen before. I noticed the same thing sting itself into dean's wrist. on the same spot.

Dean knotted himself into me more times than I could count. He fucked me senseless, ultimately and literally reclaiming what was rightfully his. At some point I had passed out. I woke up to find Dean snoring next to me. My eyes welled up but I couldn't let myself cry. I got up from the motel bed and collected my things and left. I forgot that I drove here, unable to focus on anything but what had just happened.

I limped down the highway, the night and moon still high in her resting place among the stars. Dean screwed me so hard it made walking a challenge. I don't remember how long I walked down the desolate road, casting my feet between the two yellow lines. I felt more numb than I had ever been. My mission had failed and I don't know how to fix Dean. I'm back at square one. I flopped down on to the cold blacktop staring into the dark abyss, a halo of white light ringed around the full moon. I closed my eyes, waiting for a car to come and crush me under its tires. I felt so used. I hate what heat makes me, lets me accept. my phone rang multiple times but I ignored it.

I watched the moon creep across Nyx's cloak. Until bright lights made me wince and screeching tires skidded to a halt, stopping in the knick of time. A heavy door opened and closed. Boots running heavy across the asphalt. a warm hand caressing my cheek. Pine filling my nostrils and lungs.

"Maia?! What happ-" he stopped mid-sentence, his glossy hazel eyes noticing two claims, one for each side. I lost it, tears searing stains into my cheeks. "Take me home, Sam, please." I begged. that was the one thing I was good for, begging. I begged for love. I begged for happiness. I begged for knots. Sam got me into the passenger seat ignoring the pain in his shoulder as he rose me from the ground. I kept staring at the moon on the way to the Bunker.

Alphas, Omegas- such an overrated shit-show.

End chapter 11. Start Arc B of series.

Quote:

"And I've moved further than I thought I could But I missed you more than I thought I would And I'll use you as a warning sign That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be Right in front of me Talk some sense to me"

-'I found,'-Amber Run

Quote:

"The sweetest submission Drinking it in The wine, the women, the bedroom hymns"

-'Bedroom Hymns,'-Florence + the Machine

#Big Big Love Series #omegaverse #a/b/o dynamics #Alpha!Demon!Dean #dean winchester #demon dean #sam winchester #alpha!sam winchester #alpha!steve x omega!reader #supernatural #supernatural abo #bad habits #smut

37 notes · View notes

juuheizou · 7 months

Note

that validating cat's fears thing is so mutsuki coded lmfaooo😭

You know I didn't see it right away but it REALLY is

Now I'm just imagining him all crouched down by the hiding place one of Suzuya's cats is wedged into, maybe in a situation like cat-sitting where it's one of Suzuya's complicated little gremlins he sees himself in too much not to take, so the cat has medications or something time-sensitive Mutsuki needs it out of its hiding place to do, and he has already exhausted offering treats, toys, catnip, money, his kidney, his soul, and none of it has worked. At some moment though, his sensitive soul has got to realize those eyes that are staring back at him aren't evil eyes just waiting to pounce on him and eat him like he's thought this whole time-- they're just really scared.

Initially his little heart to heart with this cat is just another desperate/nervous thing to try because he is out of ideas and defeated. But without even realizing it, just thinking so hard about validating the cat's fears and keeping himself talking has him taking deeper breaths and acting less afraid. Cats are so sensitive to others' fear and like any of our animal friends who are prey, if you're scared, that tells them there is something to be scared of. So by accidentally distracting himself from his fear of the cat getting sick of his shit and attacking him or missing the thing it needs and keeling over, he would be helping the cat be less afraid of him.

He would also very much give the cat treats as an apology after he finally does capture it for all of three seconds and hastily give it its necessary treatment for whatever-- easily just as scary as tracking down a ghoul, if you were to ask him. And he would validate the cat's disappointment in him just as much while humbly offering up those treats haha

#answers #anon #i find the idea of mutsuki trying to win over suzuya by taking care of his cats and ending up way out of his depth funny and kinda cute #he would make up for his nerves and lack of cat knowledge in kindness though #there might just be some missteps in applying that kindness

3 notes · View notes

ophelia-jones · 10 months

Text

Looking In

Chapter 4 - lock and key

"I remember the day they brought you into Sanctuary. You were covered in Walker guts and weighed about 95 pounds. Yet, when we offered you sanctuary, you had to THINK about it," Negan laughed at the memory. "It wasn't until after you were assured that you could walk away at any time, so long as you didn't take any of our shit with you, that you decided to stick around for a while."

"I have a fear of commitment," Paisley told Negan with a half-smile as she bit into her apple. He chuckled again and took a bite of his own, chewing thoughtfully.

"All things considered, you did well there, though," he told her.

"The fuck I did! The people were terrified of you and your saviors, but that didn't keep them in line. People just became sneakier about stealing from one another and hurting one another. You can't scare human nature out of people," Paisley told him. "I slept better out on my own than I did most nights in that fucking workhouse you built."

"Well, aren't you just miss contrary? I offer you a god-damned compliment and you argue against it!" Negan said, shaking his head at her.

"It's not the first time someone's called me that," Paisley admitted with a meek smile. "Did you really keep track of every fucking person that came and went?"

"No, just the ones that stood out," Negan told her between bites.

"What about me stood out?" she asked in genuine confusion.

"You tried not to stand out, for one thing. You did your best to blend in with the unwashed fucking masses, but you never belonged there," Negan said, tossing his apple core into the brown paper bag she had brought the apples in. He wiped his mustache and beard to clean it from the sticky apple juice.

"That's a load of bollox," Paisley snorted, finishing her own apple. "The only thing that stood out about me was my accent, and I did my best to keep fucking quiet."

Ever since the other night when Negan had spilled the beans to her about having been a gym teacher, he had been wondering why he would have told her that. He didn't talk about the past; not his own personal past.

She was just so fucking REAL. She didn't bullshit, she just laid it all out there.

"You weren't afraid of me," Negan said seriously. "Everyone else with half a fucking brain in that place pissed their god-damned pants every time I looked at them. You looked away, did whatever I said - but you weren't afraid of me."

"I don't know I'd say that," Paisley argued once again. "I mean, I knew fucking well you could and would kill me. The others were shocked though, as well as scared, you know what I mean? They had bought into all that societal bullshit about people being inherently fucking good. They didn't know what every-fucking-body was capable of doing. You were just willing to embrace the need for that part of yourself. All people are capable of terrible, awful things. Everyone. Most people are unwilling to acknowledge that." she sighed.

"Not many people have your flair for the dramatic, either," she laughed. "Truth is, I get what you were doing. Governments have done it since society has existed."

Negan watched her closely as she spoke, evaluating whether she was being truthful or not. He saw no reason to believe she was lying. He had been surrounded by his inner circle of Saviors all saying the same, but those guys had either been faking it for the sake of the rewards or doing it because they enjoyed the power. Some of them got off on people's pain. He had gotten rid of those people as quickly as he could; Negan didn't enjoy the killing as much as he pretended he did, but he did believe it was necessary.

"You just keep surprising me, punk. Every time I think I know you, you say some-fucking-thing like that," Negan told her with an admiring smile.

"Another thing a lot of people don't seem to get - you should never underestimate anyone. As you did with this bunch here at Alexandria," she told him. She seemed weary now as if discussing this was exhausting. It was certainly not the usual type of conversation the two of them had.

"Way to kick a man when he's fucking down," Negan joked. Paisley smiled at this, standing to go.

"I'll be back at dinnertime," she told him. She had snuck him the stolen apples at what would have been lunchtime in a world that ate three meals a day.

"Paisley?" Negan's velvety voice made her pause on the stairs. "Thank you," he told her earnestly.

"Just doing my job, ma'am," she did her best cowboy accent. It was arguably better than Negan's attempt at a British accent, but still pretty awful, which left both of them with a smile on their face after she'd gone. At least, that was how each of them would explain it if anyone were to question it.

**********************************

Negan lay back on his cot, tossing a baseball up in the air and catching idly. He was thinking about the perplexity named Paisley Grey. She was down to earth, hard as a diamond, beautiful in a unique way - but capable of these incredible acts of kindness; without even realizing she was doing anything special.

He'd seen her clever side, her playful side, and now a deeply philosophical side to her as well. He wondered if she would ever cease to surprise him. He also wondered if the situation were different - if things were any other way - would he have taken the time to see all of these things in her? He was sad to admit it was unlikely.

Of course, there was the possibility that he was seeing more in her than was there because she was the only person who treated him like a human. The others came and went, wanting to stare at him to make sure he was suffering enough, mostly.

Daryl, he suspected, was willing to stop in and open the door for the things Paisley needed the door open for - his bucket, mostly - because he was hoping for a chance to beat the holy hell out of Negan. It was hard to blame him, he supposed, the way he had tried to break the man. Daryl didn't break, and he didn't scare easily - but Neither did Negan. Again, Paisley's presence probably helped keep that from happening.

The sound of the door followed by footsteps on the stairs announced her arrival. He smiled and sat up to greet her. She carried two bowls of something that smelled remarkably good and a bottle that looked suspiciously like a fifth of liquor.

"Is it a special occasion?" he asked, gesturing to the bottle. Paisley smirked as she handed him a bowl of stew. "This isn't canned, this looks fresh," he commented as he stirred the concoction. The vegetables had been grown in the garden, and the meat wasn't too soft like canned meat.

"Nope, it's homemade," she told him. "Don't worry, not by me."

Again with the self-deprecating humor.

"Well, then the meat isn't beef. What is it?" Negan asked as he took a bite. It was the best thing he'd tasted in quite a while.

"Rabbit," she informed him, taking a bite as well and nodding her head in approval. "Mmm. Yeah, I could get used to that."

"Just out of curiosity, where did you get the stew?" Negan asked between bites. He was trying to pace himself so it would last a little longer.

"Aaron made it, but I had to kill and skin the rabbits first. We have a coop for them, my idea by the way. We didn't keep rabbits as pets in England, we kept them so we would have food. Back in the war especially, with the rationing and all. At least that was what they told us in school," She explained.

"So you just went out and caught some wild rabbits?" He joked, knowing she wasn't likely to do such a thing.

"Daryl set some live traps. It wasn't that hard," she shrugged. "and they multiply quickly enough to keep us fed."

"Well look at you, miss 'I don't have anything to offer'," Negan said playfully.

"They would've thought of it sooner or later," she shrugged.

"Hmm," Negan thought about lecturing her for selling herself short but decided to leave it for now. They'd had enough deep conversations for today.

"and what's in the bottle? Or did you just bring that to fucking tease me?"

Paisley smiled as if she'd forgotten all about it.

"I traded a bottle of Jesus juice for this. Aaron 'doesn't care for whiskey'," she said the part in a tone of voice which suggested she was repeating him verbatim.

"Jesus juice?!?" Negan wrinkled his nose at her and smiled at the phrase, shaking his head questioningly.

"As in Christ, not the dude over at Hilltop," Paisley corrected, breaking down into laughter that suggested she'd already been working on that whiskey. Negan had to laugh at the connotation of Jesus juice as if it HAD been referring to the man they knew who went by that name.

"That's a fucking relief," he joked, still laughing. "But what DO you mean by Jesus juice?"

"Red wine. You don't call it that here?" She seemed surprised. Negan threw his head back and laughed as he got the meaning of the phrase, and at her surprise that it wasn't a commonly used phrase.

"No, can't say I've ever heard that one," he informed her, wiping his mouth after finishing the stew. "Sounds like maybe you're finally making some friends?"

"They tolerate me well enough, but there's a disconnect, innit? Like, a pause after I say something before they understand me. It's not just the accent you know what I mean? It's a totally different way of thinking, innit?" she replied, her hand gestures broader, her body language looser.

"How much of that whiskey have you had already?" he asked, licking his lower lip slowly as he took the sight in. She usually tied her hair up in a ponytail, but tonight it was loose. She hated the two-tone coloring, the blonde at the bottom and the warm brown at the top where the natural color had grown out. Negan found it quite attractive. Though If he had a say in the matter, he would tell her that the brown suited her better. It had a depth to it that the now brassy blonde color lacked.

"Not. Enough," she told him as she lifted the bottle to her lips and drank.

"It's probably been a fucking while, you might want to go easy there, Tiger" he warned her. "It's safer in here than out there, but there's no need to get shitfaced."

"I'm English, we do better when we're on the drink, love," she replied with a wink that told him she was tipsy but not quite dangerously drunk.

She stood from the wooden chair she had drawn up near the bars of the cell and reached in for his bowl with one hand and offered the bottle up with the other. Negan handed her the dish and accepted the bottle gratefully, taking a deep pull and hissing slightly at the burn in his throat and chest afterward.

"It's not Scotch, but beggars can't be choosers," she told him.

"That is the god-damned truth," Negan agreed with one of those suggestive smiles that made her grow warm and wet without a touch. His voice could do it sometimes, too.

She'd never been physically aroused at the sound of a man's voice before, but she'd be damned if his voice didn't make her go home and butter her muffin sometimes. More often than she should. She told herself it was just because she hadn't been with a man since before she arrived in America. It was nearly three years now. Plus, she was a 33-year-old woman which is the female equivalent hormonally as a teenage boy.

As she watched him take another drink and lick his lower lip, she realized she would undoubtedly be abusing herself tonight. Fuck. She could rub one out right now, just watching him drink. How the hell could he make her feel this way?

It was the whiskey and the loneliness, she reasoned, and tried forcing herself to focus on something else. She reached her hand out for the bottle, and Negan obliged. Her heart rate doubled when Negan's fingertips brushed over hers. 'Was that a lingering touch?' She found herself wondering. Then she wondered 'What kind of fucking question is that?' she finally decided she might be slightly drunk after all.

"How old are you?" Negan asked, leaning his shoulder against the bars as he looked at her in her chair.

"It's rude to ask someone that, innit!" she replied quickly, her accent getting more pronounced as she drank more. Negan smiled at her, it was that tight-lipped smile that actually made the corners of his lips draw down a bit instead of up.

How the fuck could he be this handsome?

"C'mon! I can't fucking decide if you're 15 or 50! Sometimes you act like a god-damned teenager, and sometimes you act like the mother fucking Dali llama!" he told her in a snarky voice.

Paisley laughed at this, but then said "Ok, but how old do I look?"

"Don't you know asking a man that is rude?" he mimicked her earlier answer. Then he gave her a wicked grin. "Shall we make it into a drinking game? I ask you a question, you either answer honestly or take a drink."

"Americans and their bloody drinking games! In England we're professionals at drinking," she quipped. Her face was more relaxed than he'd ever seen it. Even here, in Rick the Prick's little experiment in a utopian society. Her cheeks were flushed, and her smile was broad and unfiltered. She was fucking stunning. "But fine, let's do it. Not like I have anywhere else to be."

"Ok," he bit his lower lip and raised his eyebrows as if in anticipation. Paisley's belly felt like it was fluttering. "We'll start with an easy one. How old is Paisley Grey?"

"You're a pain in the arse!" she laughed at him. "I'm… well, I'm not sure. Oh my fucking god, how weird is that? I never thought about it because who was counting the days anymore?" she got a far-off look in her eye as she mulled over this turn of events. "Well, I was 30, nearly 31 when I flew into the States. So 33ish?"

"Huh," Negan made a surprised face. "puts you around 8 or 9 years younger than the 'old man'. If I'm old and you're less than a decade younger than me, doesn't that make you a middle-aged woman, then?" Paisley gasped audibly.

"You're a cheeky bastard, then!" she had been slowly inching her chairs toward the bars, perhaps unintentionally, since she first sat down. Now she was plenty close enough that if the bars hadn't prevented it, she could've slapped him. Negan raised one cocky eyebrow at her as if to say 'What are you going to do, open the door so you can slap me?'

Paisley broke out into giggles and sat back down, slipping out of her shoes and stretching her legs out in front of her, her feet pressed against the bars.

"Ok, my turn, then. Umm… this is harder than it sounds," Paisley let out a long breath as she thought about her question. "Were you married? Before."

Negan gestured for the bottle. He wasn't ready to answer that one. Paisley handed it over readily. She realized she was a few drinks ahead of him, and couldn't afford to not answer as many questions. Negan took a swig and licked his lips. There it was again, that fluttery feeling in her stomach, but it happened between her legs this time as well.

"Would you have said yes?" he asked, looking so fucking cocky that Paisley just had to play dumb.

"Yes, to what?"

"If I had asked you to be one of my wives, would you have said yes?" he replied, the timbre of his voice low and full of gravel.

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

Fuuuuuck!

*I almost fucking came, just then.* she thought.

"If you had changed two words in that sentence? Maybe. Phrased like that, in the situation we were in? Not a fucking chance." she told him, defiantly but honestly.

"Really? Hmm. And what two words would have to change?" He asked.

"Uh-uh, you have already asked your question, it's my turn!" she replied. Negan moved his hands and nodded his head as if to yield to her order like a peasant to a queen.

"Well, I beg your fucking pardon, your highness!" he said.

"What's your body count - and I'm not talking murder or walkers." She asked and immediately Negan took a long drink. Paisley tsked her tongue and made a sympathetic face. She gestured with her fingers, holding her finger and her thumb about an inch apart.

"Be careful young lady, or I'll drop my fucking pants just to show you how WRONG you are!" he threatened playfully.

"I'll just take your fucking word for it," Paisley said as she reached through the bars and patted her hand on his shoulder condescendingly.

"OH-ho, who's being cheeky now?" he asked, his smile warm enough to melt butter. She smiled back, she couldn't help it, and suddenly, Negan turned and they were face to face through the bars, his hand slipping out and his hand in her hair drawing her forward toward him until their foreheads touched through the bars.

"Mother of fuck, I'd like to kiss the hell out of your right now!" he growled at her through gritted teeth. If she hadn't been a lost cause when she started the evening, there was no helping her now. She was thoroughly infatuated with him, and she really needed to shag him.

"Fuck me," she muttered, already breathless. It was a pure, physical ache in her body now, and only Negan's touch could soothe it. She began fumbling in her pocket for something and Negan's eyes were drawn to watch as the key emerged.

"I thought you said you gave Michonne back her key?" he asked in surprise.

"I did," she said as she fumbled with the lock. "I stole this one from Daryl's, he never locks his fucking door." the lock finally gave way and she opened the door and stepped inside. "Thankfully," she added.

"You beautiful crazy woman!" Negan laughed, closing the distance and pulling her up against him. He cradled the back of her head with his hand, his fingers pulling her hair tight, and he claimed her mouth with more hunger than she'd ever thought anyone could have for her.

She was far too horny to be patient tonight, though, and so she immediately began unbuttoning his pants. He made a surprise 'mmm!' against her mouth, but then he smiled into her kiss.

"Right down to business! Ok, we can do that," he told her, pulling her top off roughly and then tossing his t-shirt aside. Each watched the other shimmy out of their pants, and Negan picked Paisley up in both arms and turned around to deposit her on her back on his tiny mattress. He lay on top of her before she could blink. He was resting on one arm while he bent to suck at a nipple. He pushed the flimsy cotton of her panties out of the way and dipped his finger to see how slippery she already was. She reflexively rocked her hips against his touch, taking his fingers even deeper and making his thumb brush her clit and she whimpered loudly.

"SHIT, you want my cock," he muttered, casting his eyes down to see the way her hips moved as she rode his hand. "Fuck that's fucking hot." he breathed this last statement into her ear as he tugged at her earlobe. "Tell me that you want it," he murmured against it now. She turned and kissed him as hungrily as he'd kissed her earlier, then, holding his face in her hands, she looked into those deep dark eyes.

"I want your cock so deep in my cunt I can taste it when you come," she told him. The smile that split his face was the closest thing to euphoria she would ever witness. He'd finally found a girl who knew how to play his game. He shimmied out of his boxers and pulled off her underwear quickly, his hands taking the opportunity to rub her tits before he pushed himself up by one arm and pushed the tip of his cock into her. She closed her eyes, her mouth fell open in both pleasure and anticipation.

"Paisley?" Negan grunted, biting his lower lip.

"Huh?" she managed to breathe in response.

"Put your hands on the wall behind you so I don't give you a fucking concussion on those bricks," he told her, and she did. The moment her hands were there to protect her, Negan pushed in hard, her body having to very quickly adjust and so tight around his sizable member that they both moaned in both pain and pleasure at the feeling. It was the sort of moment you would never be able to reproduce. It also didn't last long because Negan dropped to his elbows and rested his head beside hers, his breath hot on her shoulder, and began to pound her mercilessly. She had never been fucked harder or faster, her entire body bouncing and shaking as he thrust in and trembling as he moved out.

"Oh, fuck…" Paisley found herself straining and clenching, unable to catch her breath as she came hard against his cock, the extra lubrication after she came making Negan groan and push himself back up to look down at her.

"Say my name," he told her, his jaw set as it usually was when he was trying to intimate his Saviors. His face was growing red and she knew he couldn't keep it up much longer she began to rock her hips harder and faster against him until their bodies met violently.

"Negan! Fuck me, Negan, it's so fucking good…" she told him, her face strained now, too. As soon as he felt her start to come again, he pulled out and with a shudder, came all over her tits.

"Holy shit, girl!" he declared breathlessly, rolling to the side to catch his breath. "Damn!" she chuckled at his enthusiasm and felt like she might even be blushing. She looked up and down the length of him. He was all wiry, slender strength, and she examined his faded tattoos from another lifetime, then down his legs, and she realized they hadn't taken the time to take off their socks. She began to laugh at the sight and Negan chuckled too.

"Well, if SOMEONE wasn't in such a hurry…" he teased before leaning in and kissing her slowly. Paisley yielded to him completely now. Her appetite for him was diminished but not fully sated. She doubted she would ever have enough of this man. She couldn't imagine how.

#negan smut

6 notes · View notes

atlasscrumpit · 2 years

Text

Avengers x Reader

(A story I wrote a while back my first story I wrote with my alters)

Shadow POV

You don't become a multiversal villain from a happy fucking childhood.

As you get older you realise the villains in comic books usually had it fucking right, and the heroes were blinded by 'goodness' and all that crappy bullshit. Heroes will say they've been through a lot, that they've been through trauma. Please, don't make me laugh. You think just because Steve Rogers was frozen for a couple of years he's seen trauma? You're pathetic if you sympathise him.

Villain is such a nasty word school yard taunts really. I'm just a person who see's things clearer than others, someone who's been to all corners of most universes. Yeah, you see some shit being as old as I am.

I was alone in my penthouse in the middle of New York City, I can travel the multiverse I can go wherever I want. But I like being here where the Avengers are, it's always fun to mess with them in some way or another.

I sat down in my favourite green leather chair and sighed. I had a glass of whiskey in my hand as I swirled it gently.

I groaned trying to ignore the voices in my head.

"Big surprise, the villain is mentally ill." I growled looking down at the glass in my hand.

"We aren't all villains in this one body, some of us are some of us aren't. Yeah this body is basically just a hotel, I lost count of how many different souls there are in this body. Good thing is, we can change how we look, depending on who's in control we can change to how we see ourselves. Which sucks sometimes because two of us are children, easier to hurt if we get captured. Only reason we are all here is because of one girl, Molly. She's the owner of this body, when she was five she went through something, something that changed her forever. Somehow she had the power to reach to all different sides of all different realities and take souls. Drawing them into her one body so she could escape to the safety of her own mind. I'm one of them she stole, I used to be an all powerful vampire that ruled an entire world. Now I'm a soul trap in a body with countless other souls, but I can't help the nag in my mind to protect Molly. I mean that's why we're all here isn't it?" I say as I chuckle to myself.

"No dear, I'm not talking to myself. I'm talking to you, the person reading this. What? I'm an inter-dimensional all powerful being, you think I can't break the forth wall?" I say with a smirk still looking down at my drink.

"But I guess you've had enough of me haven't you? Maybe I should let you meet the one you've been waiting for. I'm sure you've heard of her." I said standing up and closing my eyes.

"Say hi to Nova for me." I whispered before relaxing my body feeling her slowly take over my body.

Nova's POV

I gasped and opened my eyes seeing I was in my body again, long brown curly hair with purple streaks and a small body, I looked weak but I wasn't at all. I looked around the penthouse and groaned.

"Shadow you better not have hurt anyone." I growled looking around for any type of blood or weaponry.

"Calm down, I just pissed off the Avengers a little." Shadow said in my head making me roll my eyes.

"You need to stop pissing them off. What happens when they catch us? What if they use a power dampener on us and they draw out Molly. She hasn't been in control since...well you know." I muttered grabbing Shadow's whiskey and pouring it down the sink.

"You're so tense, just chill out." Shadow growled before disappearing into our mind.

Out of all of us I'm one of the eldest, before Molly summoned us all here I was an immortal warrior. I had lived a very long time and now I'm here, with all these different souls in one body. Sometimes I miss my old life but I understand I have a mission here. I protect most of us, well being a well trained immortal warrior with magic, I tend to be the best protector.

There's so many of us, it gets exhausting keeping track. So, I just try my best to remind everyone I'm the one that leads.

But I suppose Leo is the one that takes care of everyone, he takes care of me when I need. I'm immortal of course I have trauma that I have to deal with, Leo helps me with that. He was a royal guard before all of this, he protected a princess in another reality. I suppose that's why he loves protecting us so much.

I could go on forever about all of our stories, but I guess they can tell you that in time.

I didn't really know what to do with myself, maybe I could take a bath. I wandered into the bathroom and found the luxurious large white tub.

"Oh man, I definitely deserve a relaxing bath." I whispered to myself finding some bath salts, I remembered I had stocked this bathroom up with bath bombs and bath salts. I'm old fashioned, I still love taking baths rather than showering.

I eventually filled up the tub and looked into the warm pink water slowly stripping off my clothes. This was one of the universes I liked going to, a nice penthouse in the middle of New York and I always had the chance to see the Avengers. Yeah I know, the immortal warrior is a superhero nerd.

I settled into the bath and sighed feeling the warm water on my skin.

"Nova, I sense something." Gal whispered in my mind, I sensed something as well.

"I know, I just got in the bath." I whined out, I decided to just stay in the bed as I heard a knock at the door.

"Argh. Just come in!" I shouted out unlocking the front door. Trust me if by any chance it was a murderer I could take them. The bathroom door opened and I looked up to see Captain America and The Winter Soldier.

"Well, that wasn't expected." I muttered as they awkwardly looked away.

"We're sorry, we were looking for someone. We thought this might be their apartment." Bucky said as I chuckled and slowly stepped out of the bath and grabbing my towel.

"It's just me in this place." I muttered wrapping the towel around myself. I knew they were here for Shadow, she had somehow drawn them to you.

"We're looking for a villain by the name Shadow." Steve said as you chuckled a little.

"Well, I'm Nova. It's nice to meet you I suppose." I muttered looking up at them blushing a little. They may have been two of my favourite Avengers.

"I'm Steve and this is Bucky. We're sorry we bothered you." Steve said as I froze all of a sudden.

"O-Oh god." I whispered noticing I couldn't move my body.

"G-Go." I whispered as they looked at me in confusion. I could tell someone was taking over, I just didn't know who.

"Are you alright?" Bucky asked as I fell to my knees.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as I looked up at them, suddenly my eyes turned to black and I was pushed back inside our mind.

Our eyes turns black and our body went to a shadowy figure as they screamed.

Oh no, it was The Other.

"What the hell?" Bucky whispered as they stepped back a little.

The Other screamed and screamed at them.

We didn't know where they had come from, just that they were stuck within our mind. Bound by chains with an animalistic personality, we all just knew they were tortured and traumatised.

"We need to calm them down." I whispered within our mind as The Other launched at Bucky, he quickly dodged and threw them to the floor.

"Fuck. I have to take control, I'm sorry." I whispered as The Other screamed and fell to the ground, I had to forcefully take control.

They screamed in pain as the body returned to how I looked.

I gasped and looked up at the two men noticing I was naked.

"I think it would be best if you came with us." Steve said as I quickly summoned clothes around my body.

"Please, I mean no harm. I'm sorry about that." I whispered looking up at them.

"We won't hurt you, we just think it would be best if we knew who you were. And that you're definitely not Shadow." Bucky said as I thought for a moment. We couldn't go to another reality yet, we didn't have enough power.

"C-Can you promise me something?" I whispered slowly standing up.

"What is it?" Steve asked, they would probably say no but I needed to know.

"If I go with you, you have to promise you won't put anything on me that will take away my powers. I-If you do...it could go terribly. Please promise me you won't do that and I'll go with you." I whispered looking up at them as they looked down on me.

"You could be dangerous." Bucky spoke up as I nodded.

"You can put something on me that dampens our power, but you can't get rid of it completely. It would be dangerous for us with no power." I tried to explain as they nodded.

"Alright, we can work around that." Steve said as I nodded.

"Can you promise us you're not going to hurt any of us?" Steve asked as I smiled a little and nodded.

"I promise Steve, I'll come peacefully. A-And then explain all of this." I whispered looking up at them both.

"We'll take you back to the tower." Steve said as I nodded and followed the out of my apartment.

"Are you tied to Shadow?" Bucky asked as I headed into the elevator.

"I-In some ways." I whispered awkwardly. How the hell was I going to explain any of this?

"I-I can tell you more when we're somewhere safe." I muttered as the two men nodded.

"We understand, we can talk about all of this when we get to the tower." Steve said as I nodded and closed my eyes. Praying I could stay in control.

I could feel Molly crying and screaming, pretty much all the time but it still hurt to hear. I felt so weak and vulnerable, not to mention alone.

You followed the men down the streets of New York until you reached the Avengers tower.

I was a little intimidated. Usually Shadow handled any interaction with the Avengers.

I followed them into the elevator and crossed my arms over my body.

"Will I be punished for being...different?" I whispered not looking at the two men behind me.

"No you won't be. Unless you're a killer, but even then we don't do torture." Bucky said as you smiled a little.

"I haven't killed anyone...in this universe at least." I whispered the last part making sure they wouldn't hear me.

I could feel I was starting to lose control, I could feel my body shaking. The elevator doors opened into the main room of the tower.

"I-I feel like I'm going to lose control." I whispered feeling tears in my eyes.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked as you saw other people gathering around.

"Like what happened before. B-But I don't know who will come out this time." I whispered to them looking around the room.

"Oh no." I whispered as my eyes rolled back in my head and everything went black.

Shadow's pov

Well, would you look at that. I'm in the Avengers tower. Thanks Nova.

"Well, well the Avengers. It's great to see you all." I said smirking at them all. Steve grabbed me from behind and kept my hands behind my back.

"I knew someing wasn't right, were you just pretending to be Nova so we would help you?" Bucky growled making me chuckle lightly.

"No, Nova is real. We all are real, there's many different souls in this one body. I'm the one that has been terrorising you all, Nova and the others have done nothing. So, if you want to be angry, be angry with me. Not them." I said trying to play nice, it felt disgusting.

"We're putting you in a cell, Tony get those power dampeners." Steve said dragging me back into the elevator. I could easily get out of this but some part of me wanted to see where this went.

Steve, Bucky and Tony dragged me down to the cells. Just before they put the cuff around me I groaned. I knew Nova would handle this better than I could.

Nova's pov

I gasped and looked around to see Steve and Bucky in front of me, they clipped a cuff around my wrist as I rolled my eyes.

"Of course Shadow made me deal with this." I muttered quietly before they shoved me into the cell.

"Can't believe I fell for that." Bucky muttered as I looked at him.

"You didn't fall for anything, I'm not Shadow. We're two separate beings that happen to share a body. What Shadow did has nothing to do with the rest of us." I muttered looking down at them. I could see they didn't believe me.

"You can explain it in an interrogation tomorrow Shadow." Steve said as I glared at him. I hated being called that.

"I'm not Shadow!" I screamed at them as they looked at me in shock.

"We aren't the same person, don't you dare say that again." I growled at them, they just ignored me and walked away as I slid down the wall and hugged my knees to my chest.

This was weird, I felt trapped. Usually if I felt trapped one of the others would take over, but because of the power cuffs I couldn't.

"Leo?" I whispered out.

"I'm here." I heard Leo whisper in my head as I smiled softly. Leo had always taken care of us all, especially me.

"I feel so trapped, not just because of the cell. But these cuffs stopping us from changing." I whispered aimlessly playing with my hands.

"I know dear, but it's going to be okay. I know how strong you are and I know you can handle this just as good as any of us, if not better. These men seem like they could understand all of this if you explained it." Leo replied making me smile.

"Thank you Leo, I guess this cell isn't so bad. I've seen worse."

I woke up the next morning in the uncomfortable small bed in the cell. I felt so weak and vulnerable. I sat up in the bed and sighed softly before I heard footsteps. I looked up to see Bucky and Steve as I slowly stood up. Steve came in and handed me a bottle of water as I quickly drank it all down and wiped my mouth.

"Thank you." I muttered before handing the bottle back to him.

"Come with us, we need to talk." Steve said as I nodded and followed them out of the cell, they led me down a hallway and into a small room. I knew how this went, I sat at one end of the table and waited for the other two to sit down.

Steve sat in front of me and Bucky behind him.

"I'll try to do my best to answer your questions, but I don't know much. Shadow did all of this not me." I said looking into Steve's eyes, I knew they weren't buying it.

"What's your motive?" Bucky asked as I looked up at him and sighed.

"I don't know she never told me, none of us know why Shadow does all of this." I replied making Steve smile.

"Alright, I'll play. If you're not Shadow then let us talk to her." Steve said making me sigh.

"The power cuffs stop us from changing, so unless you take it off you're dealing with me." I growled at the two men as Bucky chuckled.

"You really think we're believing all of this? You obviously have power, so you kept shape shifting so we couldn't find you." Bucky said as I groaned and rested my head on the table.

"I'm going to kill Shadow for doing this." I muttered a little before I heard Molly screaming making me wince in pain.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked as I held my head in my hands.

"It's Molly." I muttered trying to breath through the pain. Molly had a scream that could get us all to feel her pain.

"Who's Molly?" Bucky asked as I looked up at him.

"She's the original, the one that owns our body. She was a human, somehow she had the power to summon all of our souls here to protect her." I tried to explained as Steve looked at me in curiosity.

"So, you have multiple personalities?" Steve asked as I chuckled a little.

"It's an over simplification but more or less yeah. Just with power and we all had lives before Molly summoned us." I muttered as they nodded.

"How did a human girl summon all of you here?" Bucky asked making me sigh.

"We've all been trying to work that out too. Something happened to Molly when she was five, something that broke her and made her powerful enough to summon us all here. To protect her." I explained as the two men looked at me in thought.

"Honestly that's a lot of information to take in. But even if you aren't Shadow she needs to be punished for what she did, and that means you all get punished." Steve said making me sigh.

"I'll leave this reality, you won't ever have to deal with us again. We can jump realities, just let us go and I'll promise we won't return." I tried to bargain with them as they both looked at me.

"We can't let you do that Nova." Steve said as I glared at him I grabbed the cuff and used all my power to break it off my wrist.

"I warned you." I growled before everything turned black.

War's pov

I gasped and opened my eyes as Nova's body faded away, my black short hair flowed out as I looked at the two men in front of me.

"You guys are fucked." I said smirking as they stood up ready to fight them.

"And who the hell are you?" Bucky asked as I smiled.

"They call me War." I growled as flames engulfed my body.

"They call me when someone needs to burn." I growled as I glared at them.

"I don't think so." Steve growled pressing a button on the wall of the room as I screamed in pain and fell to my knee's.

Nova's pov

What's going on? I knew something was happening, I was watching everything from inside our mind.

"No..." I whispered as War was pushed back into our mind.

"What the fuck is happening!?" War screamed as looked to see our body was changing.

"They got rid of our power, Molly is coming out." I whispered in disbelief, she hasn't been out in so long, since the incident.

"This can't happen."

Molly eventually came out and looked around in fear, her body changing into it's original form, a terrified five year old girl.

"What the hell?" Bucky whispered in disbelief. Suddenly Molly let out one of her screams, in made the two men drop to their knees.

"She's calling The Monster." I whispered watching the scene play out before me. Suddenly a large shadowy figure began to form in the room as the two men looked up. A hideous monster began to form as Molly continued to scream. The Monster was something Molly controlled, none of us knew if it was a being or just something she created, but in last resort moments he would come out and protect her. Killing anyone in the way. The Monster was about to fully form before Bucky reached up and pressed the button again. We regained our power and I took control of our body once more, returning to my usual looks. I couldn't help but start to cry, Molly's emotions were effecting us all.

"You promised!" I screamed as they regained their posture.

"We're sorry, we didn't believe you. But we should've." Bucky said slowly approaching me.

"Stay away! You promised you wouldn't do that! You have no idea what you just did! Molly hasn't been in control in hundreds of years, our one job is to make sure she doesn't ever have to come out. And you just ruined that! She's going to be so upset and terrified, because of you two!" I screamed at them, I could see the guilt in their eyes.

"I'm leaving." I growled before storming through the door, but Bucky grabbed me.

"Don't make me kill you." I hissed lowly at him making him sigh.

"We want to help you Nova, this place could be safe for you. We can better handle all of this, you could have a safe place to live and heal, where you're all allowed to come out whenever you want. We're sorry for what we did, and we're sorry we didn't believe you. Either you stay here and let us help you or we shove you in a cell and never let you out." Bucky said as I tried to not cry.

"I'm scared." I whispered as Bucky looked at me sadly.

"I know doll, I can imagine you've all been running for a long time. It's time to stop running, we can figure something out. Let you live out your 'punishment' here in the tower, we can help you all have a safe place to live." Bucky said looking into my eyes, no one had ever offered us somewhere safe to live, no one had ever seen anything but fear and disgust in us.

"Why would you do this for us?" I whispered making Bucky smile softly.

"Because we understand you a little better now, we know you just need somewhere safe to be. Deep down don't all of you just want to be cared for a loved by someone?" Bucky whispered making tears fall down my cheeks.

I couldn't find the right words, Bucky smiled and gently wrapped his arms around me as I froze. It had been so long since I had felt any kind of affection.

"Let us help you Nova." He whispered as I slowly wrapped my arms around him in return and cried onto his chest.

"I'll go talk to the team." Steve said as Bucky nodded and watched him leave still holding onto me tightly.

"I haven't felt any kind of physical touch for so long. I'm a monster, why do you want to help me?" I whispered as I felt his hand go through my hair, I wanted to melt in his arms, his touch was so gentle and kind.

"Because I understand what it's like to have no one, to keep running away from everything. Yes you all did bad things in the past but I now understand everything more. I understand why you're running and I understand you just need a safe place to be yourself." He whispered as I nodded and slowly pulled away wiping my tears from my face.

"H-How will the team react? I'm not exactly an angel a-and all of the others, I don't know how they will react." I muttered beginning to panic.

"Doll, take a deep breath. Everything will be okay." Bucky said making me nod and smile softly.

Tony had set up a spare room for me, we had talked it all over and we decided I would talk to everyone else inside our mind and let them know that this was a safe place.

They were pretty understanding considering, I thought they would riot. But I think Bucky was right, we all just wanted to be cared for and loved. There was something about Bucky that drew me to him, I felt like when I was with him I could breath easily.

I decided I would let Kara meet them all today, she had been over excited about the news. I stood in front of the team and took a deep breath as my body changed into a black haired eight year old girl.

I decided to stay at the front of our mind so I could watch how she would react to everyone.

She gasped and smiled brightly.

"The Avengers!" She shouted with glee making them smile.

"You must be Kara." Steve said as she smiled and nodded, she ran up and hugged Bucky tightly making him smile.

"And you're Prince Bucky." She said giggling, it made me laugh a little, she looked so happy and at ease.

"Well, if I'm a Prince that would make you a Princess." He replied as she smiled up at him, she went around the room and gave each of the team a hug making them smile. She came back to Bucky and hugged him again as he smiled.

"You're welcome to come out anytime Kara." Steve said making her smile.

"Thank you Mr. Steve." She said making Steve chuckle a little.

"Hey, why don't we play hide and seek?" Tony suggested as Kara gasped and cheered.

"Yes please!"

I had watched the team play hide and seek with Kara for a good two hours before she got tired.

"Do you want to go rest and Nova can come out sweetie?" Bucky asked as he held onto his hand and nodded.

"Yes please, bye bye Bucky." She whispered before closing her eyes and letting me take over again.

I opened my eyes to see Bucky in front of me smiling, the rest of the team was around as I smiled.

"Thank you all so much." I muttered before hugging Bucky.

"She was lovely, we don't mind one bit." Steve said as the rest smiled.

"We can't wait to meet everyone else." Bucky said as I pulled away and smiled up at him.

"I'm sure they're all very eager to meet you all."

#marvel #mcu #dissociative identity disorder #did #bucky barnes #tony stark #steve rogers #clint barton #natasha romanoff #my story #fic

27 notes · View notes