#ask for moi

[xxxcertifiednerdxxx]

my tinder date wants to know why you’re banned from tinder

Ask and ye shall receive!

Gather round, folks, and lend an ear as I tell you about Arnold.

No, he’s not a first date gone wrong, nor is he a scorned ex-lover who came up as a potential match. He isn’t a rival to whom I am bitterly attracted, and he isn’t an unrequited crush.

Arnold is my son.

He is also a rubber chicken.

[image description: a white hand holds a blue rubber chicken against a white wall. The rubber chicken has a red beak, comb, wattles, and feet, as well as a gold collar that’s says “SQUEEZE ME!”]

Let me set the scene.

A couple years ago, on a cold night in late autumn, I went to a grocery store with some friends. We all separated to get what we needed.

I don’t remember if I actually got anything for myself in that trip, but I do remember wandering around, only to come across a giant bin of rubber chickens.

Immediately thinking of the vine where that person presses a bunch of rubber chickens (geese? some sort of fowl) to make a loud noise, I did the same thing, probably to the chagrin of fellow shoppers.

Some of my friends joined me in my shenanigans, and we left the store in a jolly mood.

Days later, one of my roommates, who was one of the friends from the first grocery trip, came back from another grocery trip with a gift for me.

It was a blue and red rubber chicken.

I looked on my new child with complete adoration and named him Arnold. I thanked my roommate with all my heart and left to plan the many hijinks I would get up to with Arnold. (He has admittedly been through a lot, but the wear and tear mostly comes from love.)

One day, i had the bright idea to make Arnold a Tinder account.

I did not give myself much time to consider the idea before diving in. Arnold had a photo shoot, and I uploaded as many photos as Tinder would allow for his profile. I believe I put his age somewhere in the 20s. I picked the option for any gender to match so as many people as possible would see him. According to what I put in his bio, he got the Covid vaccine, has a natural talent for singing, lives with his mom, and likes Kpop.

Then I published his account.

While matching with people amused me at first, keeping Arnold’s Tinder account active eventually became a chore. Every so often, Tinder would email me and say my his account would be hidden if I didn’t open the app and use it.

I swiped through people, and whenever i matched with people, i would just shoot them a simple “yo.” I tried not to carry on any conversations, though, because I myself was not interested in going on any dates. This was just to entertain me and maybe some other people who came across Arnold.

One day, I got an email saying Arnold’s account was reported and I was no longer welcome on Tinder. I assume someone reported Arnold bc he isn’t an actual person, so I was technically breaking the laws of Tinder or whatever. It was honestly a relief; no more swiping through profiles just to keep the account alive.

I still have Arnold, and I still love him. But you will never see him, or me, on a dating app again.

TL/DR: I made a Tinder Account for Arnold, my rubber chicken. It took over half a year, but Arnold’s account was eventually reported for not being a real person, and I was banned from Tinder.

#sorry for such a long answer but I can’t really help being a storyteller #Arnold does have a social media account #I don’t do much with it but it’s there #it’s tied to my personal life tho so I won’t be sharing it here #fun story one time I thought I lost Arnold in my big apartment complex so I ran around the whole place trying to find him #But one of my friends had just hidden him in my mini fridge #another time my room roommate was asleep and I was going to bed #but it was dark and I forgot Arnold was on my bed #So I accidentally laid down on him #she did not wake up thank goodness #In the morning I apologized and she said she didn’t even hear him #arnold the rubber chicken #nerd out #nerd-out #the great tinder tumblr crossover of 2023 #tinder #ask for moi #lengthy article

[thedarkmistress16]

What’s the last thing you said out loud?

*watching Deal Ark Shadamy comic dub for the millionth time*

wow that's so extra of him

#ask for moi #shadamy #on my bs fanrot again

[firestix]

hey. you should write something

hm I should...and you should draw something

#closet <3 #ask for moi

[nohtora]

chúc mừng năm mới ! hope this lunar new year is one full of good luck and good health for everyone !!

( i wanted to have a bit of fun with patterns with this one - the designs are inspired by encaustic tiles i've seen around vietnam, with a bit of tết flavour :D )

#lunar new year #vietnamese new year #year of the dragon #tet nguyen dan #tet giap thin #chuc mung nam moi #digital art #digital illustration #dragon #artists on tumblr #nohtora art #this one's a lil special bc the first zodiac illustration i did for these yearly c0mms was 2012's year of the dragon :') #which i did for free bc i was a kid who just learnt how to use a drawing tablet lmao #it looked horrendous don't ask #anyways jAZZ HANDS

[housecow]

damn I can’t even imagine getting too fat to kneel,🥵theres so many things I dont think about being different when u become a fat girl

Is bending down to tie your shoes also hard now then too? 👟

this pic is from may (~240ish??) and it’s like the closest i could get then 😭😭 it like forces me to lean forward and is NOT comfy at all … but i may rb this with an updated photo if i can…

gonna be real w you i haven’t actually tried to bend down and tie shoes in a while bc i exclusively wear platform sandals during the summer. that being said now i’m nervous to try 🫣

#yw person who asked for a pic btw :3 #anon #ask #talk #feedism. #moo #moi

[kumezyzo]

corpse x faceless streamer cause it has more plot...

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

as cliche and over-used as it is, you met bf!corpse in an among us lobby. but you two had heard of eachother before, seeing as youre in the same faceless community.

your followings seemed to have a lot of crossover, so when you met, it was a dream come true for your communites. and for you two, it was nice having someone understand what it was like to be faceless.

overtime, you two grew closer, hanging out outside of streams. and at some point, you got comfortable enough eachothers faces.

when your chat found out, it became the only thing they could talk about for a good two days on twitter.

"guys, corpse looks really cool," you said to your chat. you and corpse were streaming on your channel, just talking and catching up. his scoff made you giggle quietly. "im not joking, he's kinda... attractive."

"and yn looks nothing like how she described herself," he said, laughing at how much prettier he thought you were.

"and his hair is actually curly," you say.

then, you both went on anthony padilla's channel as a part of his 'I spent a day with...' series. and you revealed that you were doing the interview on the same day.

"i mean, corpse is the only other youtuber that knows what i look like," you state simply. "if im honest, the main reason im here is because this is the first time im meeting up with him in person."

thankfully, no one was suprised when they heard that in the video. but thats just because corpse posted a video of you two playing rock-paper-scissors.

it started off silent, you two doing the motions silently. corpse played scissors, you played rock. he sighed. another up and down motion. he played scissors, you played paper. you took a deep breath. another up and down. he played rock, you played rock. you scoffed and cracked your knuckles. one more time. he played paper, you played scissors.

"fuck!" he yelled loudly as you laughed manaically in the background.

during this meet up, you stayed at his apartment. and it just so happened you got to spend more time with him. slowly, you both started developing further feelings for eachother.

it showed itself in you two being cuddly, touchy with eachother. both of you tiptoeing round the topic of the weird dynamic. neither of you actually choosing to say anything or admit your feelings.

it really set in when he started unironically calling you "baby". it gave you butterflies and he felt his face heat up as the words left his mouth.

and when you had to leave, it was far more intense than you had expected.

"thank you for letting me stay here," you told him greatfully. he smiled softly at you, going in for a hug. you smiled and felt yourself melt into his arms.

you two pulled away briefly, looking into eachothers eyes. you dont know when it really happened, but the next moment, youre lips are on eachothers.

when you went back home, it was like you two know you were dating. but you never actually said it. it just felt right.

this is kinda like a prequel to this beautiful shit. i also know no one requested this (or at least i could find one when i went to check cause this was in my notes for way too long) -Nony

#corpse husband x you #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse x streamer reader #bf!corpse #i wish i could tag anon or asks #but i cant #cause this came straight from moi #😁 #even tho its the worst shit ive every written #*ever #im not rewriting that shit #anyway

[xbbydollx]

Can you post a selfie with your friend?

#asks #moi

[drawbauchery]

Oh dear teruteru is on the lower decks of the titanic

#leafyboi34 #asks #danganronpa #moi

[lavendersartistry]

Looks at you with BIG OL EYES

So what made her decide that Dogday shall become Her Bi Disaster Nephew, what did this silly silly (kinda wet meow moew) man do to get her attention :3 (omg first ask by me woahhh)

HAI BESTIE, WELCOME

it's her gay sensesing glasses/j

Tbh, Raida saw a bit of her younger brothers in him. She was aware of how closeted they were in the gay closet and she was very protective about her brothers when it came to their sexuality. Another thing was her slight maternity aura, if i can say it right.

So when DogDay came into view, she immediately went: "He likes someone, but he's in denial."

Plus it's funny to her when she gets to know about his fails of flirting with Z, Raida is gonna do romance lessons with DogDay to save him some grace.

#moi speaks #thanks for the ask! #space riders au #Space Riders AU - onyxonline au #raida (rosa) - space riders au #raida is canonically a older sister #a lot of her siblings are from the gay closet #despite her being in the gay closet too but aroace pan #plus raida poly too #pspspspsps give her lovers

[pixiesfz]

Do you have any lotte wubben moy headcannons you can share with us?

she is soooo quiet until you get to really know her.

Like let’s imagine you started at man city, a forward and whenever you versed Arsenal she was always quiet to herself and lowkey scared you for how into the game she was

So when you moved to Arsenal you thought she didn’t like you but at team meetings and team nights she was cracking up jokes left right and centre.

And that’s when she fell in love with your laugh.

So she would make it her mission to make you laugh everyday.

It was the highlight of her day when she succeeded.

And she always did.

She loves taking you out on dates, she’s not the biggest fan of just staying in all of the time.

She wants all of your dates to be adventurous and memorable, she’s very creative.

The only thing you don’t like about it is when she does something incredibly sexy and you can’t jump on her then and there.

Your both switches so sexy time can be very fun as you explore eachother and what you both like the most.

She’s very mature but gets very bushy when it comes to talking about sex but she gets her words out.

She likes to cook.

She’ll cook anything you ask for but will tell you to get out of the kitchen if you try to help.

She thinks you’re doing it wrong.

Lotte likes her private time though, set her up with a book and a balcony and she can stay out there for hours until you go outside and tell her you’re going to bed.

She likes watching underated sports that aren’t like football, especially golf, tennis and bikes.

She is the most u restating person so it’s rare that you get into fights, you only do when your both having a shitty day and you both don’t have the power to be the bigger person.

One of you will come to your senses as you go to bed and apologise, the other apologising right after.

Lotte dates to marry, so when she chooses you she knows your the love of her life.

And about a year in she starts to secretly plan wedding ideas in her head

She convinces you to be a long life gooner like herself and you eventually become the arsenal it couple.

Take that Mcfoord.

#lily asks #woso #woso soccer #woso community #arsenal wfc #lotte wubbon moy x reader #lotte wubben moy

[xxxcertifiednerdxxx]

Saw your post about Regina (from red shoes) and honestly I think it's a case of her drinking the "youth is the peak of beauty" koolaid. Lady is definitely not bad looking, but has probably internalised a lot of bad beauty standards.

This is so real! I know so many women who complain about how they look and fear wrinkles and stuff. And I don’t want to judge to harshly bc I haven’t gotten to that point of my life, but I think age is a sign of how you’ve lived. I think you should be proud to show that you’ve lived life.

and Regina could definitely get it. There’s gotta be a market for hot old ladies.

I understand the movie was focusing more on weight/size based body positivity, but we as a society could stand more age based body positivity too.

#ask for moi #red shoes and the seven dwarfs #red shoes and the 7 dwarfs #queen regina

[thedarkmistress16]

If you made a Crypid AU of Your Boyfriend, how’d that look?

prolly something like a big (wild) cat- a shadow that stalks his prey. A creature who lives in the woods, thin and lanky like it never eats (just ignore my shitty perspectives). and here are some smaller ver. for the feral and chaotic pet cat energy he has.

That, or a naga. 🤷

#ask for moi #moi art #his markings are so ugly lol #your boyfriend game #your boyfriend

[labyrynth]

so um anyway jiang cheng canonically does not consider wei wuxian a servant—let alone “just a servant”—and does not treat him like one. idk where this idea came from but it is factually untrue.

in fact, jc repeatedly indicates that he thinks wwx’s station is on par with other gentry, that he likes the idea of being part of a pair with wwx, and even jokes with wwx, mocking the notion that wwx could be a servant.

after wwx was taken in, they were functionally raised as equals, and there is nothing in their interactions as youths that indicates or even hints that their relationship was master/servant instead of simply childhood friends.

and obviously wwx is not sect leader, so yeah, he is expected to defer to jc after the war, (and that’s not an inherently bad thing, that’s how leadership works) but jc lets him get away with SO much shit that Would Not Fly if wwx were a servant (or treated like one). if jc only regarded wwx as a servant, there is literally no reason to be as lenient as jc was with wwx’s loose canon tendencies.

i’m sorry, but there is simply no valid reading of their relationship where the dynamic of their relationship is master/servant. their relationship simply is not built on obligation, as much as they both try to act like it. this assumption undercuts a huge amount of context and motivation, leaving nonsensical character decisions and gaping plot holes. there is no mdzs unless they care about each other as individuals.

#jiang cheng #mdzs #mdzs talk #mo dao zu shi #moi #not to mention the fact that we literally never see wwx ever acting in the capacity of a servant #jc basically never asks anything of wwx #maybe ‘please don’t insult our colleagues (who are also our elders and have more power than us) to their faces’ #or like ‘please refrain from picking fights with people we’re trying to establish professional relationships with’ #up until wwx defects whenever someone started poking at wwx’s behavior jc just shut them down. ‘that’s the business of the jiang sect.’ #and some of y’all have the audacity to claim that jc didn’t do anything for wwx #that he didn’t even care #it’s appalling #i’m super tempted to tag as canon jc #but i will. refrain. #begrudgingly. #i absolutely hate it when ppl insist not only that jc didn’t care abt wwx #but that wwx. didn’t care about jc. #that wwx’s side of things was entirely out of obligation and he did not care about jc as a person in the slightest. #like imma be real w u chief: wwx does not come out of this assumption looking good #in fact he looks like a real grade A asshole #bc if he DOES think he’s just fulfilling his duties then why tf would be flat out lie to jc about their relationship #and if he has a duty to the jiang sect. why the fuck isn’t he doing it. yeah yeah he gave up his core sure. #but it costs zero dollars to NOT antagonize ppl ur sect is trying to built rapport with #it costs zero dollars to consider the political fallout for your sect before you do risky shit #like a wwx that is sticking around out of ‘obligation’ is a real fucking dick #like. either make an attempt at fulfilling your actual obligations or like. just leave?? #i mean jfc it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he does in fact care about jc #and jc does in fact care about wwx #um anyway

[meademalove]

I watched our second goal again and I love everything about it - Emily’s pass to Lessi, Lessi’s perfect ball for Lotte’s header, Lotte’s celebration (she loves the club so much 🥰) and finally the way Lessi just takes off to celebrate with everyone. Oh and the relief of scoring, of course!

And the passion from everyone - Lotte, Leah, Kim, Beth, the pure relief, joy, and vindication! It hurts that they hurt so much, and we've all been through this shit show. That goal and that celebration will always mean a lot to me.

#meademalove #ask meademalove #beth mead #arsenal women #awfc #arsenal #arsenal wfc #lotte wubben moy #leah williamson #alessia russo #emily fox #kim little #steph catley #caitlin foord

[secretdonderwolk]

Have you ever watched the stroopwaffel maxiel video?

#i had to watch in two second fragments because there was just so much there #truly the maxiel scholarship of all time and i mean that so seriously #their dynamic post zandvoort 2021 to a t to moi #maxiel #ask! #also slow show the national ultimate maxiel song to me #everything i love gets lost in the drawers!!!! i want to start over i want to be winning!!!! #YOU COULD DRIVE A CAR THROUGH MY HEAD IN FIVE MINUTES FROM ONE SIDE OF IT TO THE OTHER!!!!!!

[ben-the-hyena]

What are your thoughts on Kung-Fu Panda 4?

Kind of like Wish (still liked it better tho, Wish was just "okay")

In itself, a good movie I liked, I was surprised to love Zheng (is that how it's spelled ?) when I was sure I'd hate how she was shoehorned in the franchise but no she was touching and fun, the humor held up, even if she were not deep I liked the Chameleon (I guess a franchise does need at least one villain who hss no trauma and is jist evil because, she was still likable and charismatic and not exagerated), Mr Ping and Li Shan were amazing and hilarious together (you can't tell me they are not married at this point), I thought I would hate how the Furious Five were not there but they were given a satisfying explanation why that truly made it feel like Po's own journey this time and it felt like all was forgiven when they appear at the very end, Tai Lung was there and even if I was disappointed we were actually clickbaited and lied to (HE DOESN'T BECOME GOOD OR APPEAR MUCH !?!?! FUCK YOU !!!!!), he still finally found solace and a form of redemption or at least a path closer to it by finally being at peace with Po and accepting him as the dragon warrior and grow respect for him which was enough for my 10 years old soul to have found inner peace and feel feels about him. My baby, he finally healed...

But as the way it was advertised... a fucking joke. We were lied to for Tai Lung, Shifu was useless to the plot and made into a joke, Po's new status was super simplified as a magical power, I don't like the different style for the new characters they don't feel like belonging to the KFP universe, the Dragon Warrior is supposed to be known all across China but now only the Valley knows about him, not enough serious moments for too much comedy (it was good sure, but really not the balance the first 2 movies had), speaking of which SO many retcons (LORD SHEN NEVER WAS A KUNG FU MASTER !?! NOR WENT TO THE SPIRITS REALM, HE LITERALLY FUCKING DIED !?!?! ANF KAI WASN'T A MASTER EITHER ?!?!) and oversimplification (magic used to be subtle in the mortal world in the franchise. Now suddenly a DBZ/final boss type of fight really ?), and ALL THE FUCKING WASTED POTENTIAL WHEN YOU READ ALL THAT WAS GIVEN UP ON BY THE SHITTY DIRECTOR WHO DARED CALLING THE ONE OF THE FIRST MOVIES A NOBODY (Then I am told *I* disrespect her for shipping a ship she sees as friends !?!) AND IN FACT PLANNED WORSE (LIVE ACTION !? HUMANS ?! NO FURIOUS FIVE AT ALL ?! NO BACKGROUND STORIES FOR THE CHAMELEON AND ZHENG AT ALL SO THEY HAD TO CRAM THEM LAST MINUTE ?! *HE* IS A NOBODY) AND WE WILL NEVER HAVE HER AMAZING IDEAS I'D HABE FUCKING KILLED AS A 10 YEARS TO EVER SEE BUT NEVER EVER WILL BECAUSE OF HIM AND THE MOVIE IS DONE !?!? (Tai Lung truly being part of the plot and redeeming and having closure with Shifu, I fucking would have loved and cried)

ALL WASTED FOREVER BECAUSE IN ANIMATION THERE NEVER IS ANY SNYDER CUT BECAUSE IT'S SEEN AS A SUBART FOR CHILDREN BY EXECS ?!?

*pants*

*inhales*

So I'll say I liked it, as much as the 3rd in fact, but knowing how much better it could have been if it were not given to an egocentric manchild who understood nothing about the heart and soul of tge first trilogy and how much better the concepts are 10 years old me had been wishing for and would have finally found closure in but I will never, *ever* have this closure about Tai Lung and I wilm never ever see them animated and voiced because his return was wasted because of HIM, it makes me mad and sad...

#sad #angry #WHY #movie #kung fu panda #reaction gif #ask #spoilers #weirdgirl92 #moi #i will never have the Tai Lung redemption I was waiting for for 16 years and was sure the franchise would give us one day... #tho at least him canonically finally accepting he is not the dragon warrior and bowing to po can give hopes for headcanons #wish #concepts #DREAMWORKS I'M MAD AT YOU