The Opposite of Shame
[Read on AO3]
It should be easy.
That’s what Zen had said they paddled the last few yards into the canals, a stream of water curled onto his palm, shaping itself into a pearl, too precious to even touch. At least, easier than what you were doing, he’d laughed, letting it splash back down into the water, splattering into Mitsuhide’s lap. After squeezing water out of vines, a whole city of it should be nothing.
And yet sweat beads at her brow when she tries to coax a trickle from its slow currents, dripping from her fingers like a recalcitrant cat. Her boots brace against the ice, and she hauls, the way laborers would, pulling and straining and still-- it flops back down to the surface, swallowed up by ripples like it never left at all.
Shirayuki sprawls right back onto her rear with a huff. That’s what she gets, bending with only half her head. Maybe if she was still ho-- where she came from, she might have managed it. There was something about knowing every vine curled around her window and every plant in the streets of Ba Sing Se that made the motions come easier to her, that made bending nearly mindless. But here...
Ba Sing Se may have been raised from stone, but there were trees there, gardens. Little window boxes where grannies raised their kitchen herbs and children tended their mother’s flowers. In Agna Qel’a, it’s all...ice. Ice and snow and water a shade warmer than freezing; a paradise for a waterbender like her, one who had always hidden her skills lest some neighbor suspect she was the Avatar. Water was next in the cycle, after all, and to see a child with green eyes bend something besides stone would bring her before of the Fire Lord faster than the Earth prince could snap. Even the ancestors would be hard pressed to say what would happen to her when he found out she was simply mixed-blood, a waterbender wearing an earthbender’s face.
And yet this is not the safe haven she imagined, the home she had yet to find. Instead it’s barren, as cold and uninviting as Master Haruka. A woman need draw no more than a dram, he’d said, voice cracking like a whip in the temple. Any more risks being unseemly.
Unseemly. She gets her feet beneath her, letting her attention slide alongside a likely stream. Haruka’s voice echoes in the confines of her skull, What does a healer need that couldn’t fit in a skein?
Healer, he said; woman, he meant. How Kiki could come from a place like this, her bending honed to a blade’s edge, and yet its Master Bender could still say to her face-- impossible.
Her teeth grit, cheeks flushed. Zen might have warned her at least. He’d made this place seem like a refuge, like heaven, like home, and now not only does she have to worry after Haruka, but even Raj--
She can’t think about that. That’s the whole purpose of this: to not think about it. Another thing that’s supposed to be easy. After all, Shirayuki forgets things all the time. Meetings, meals, sleep-- it all fades away under the sinuous stretch of leaf and vine, her fingers reaching and stems rising to meet the motion, as easy as putting on a glove.
But that’s not what it’s like here. Not when it’s so cold that algae barely blooms. Hard to lose herself when every surface reflects her face.
“Lookin’ pretty serious there.”
Shirayuki concentration shatters, easy as a plate on a pub floor. The stream of water she’s pulled-- larger than she’s ever managed before, even if it still wiggles and drips against her control-- drops, tumbling back into the canal with a plop, big enough to soak her boots.
No, both their boots.
“Ah, uh...” She doesn’t know his name; a realization that pulls her up screeching a moment too late. They’ve only met twice, after all-- once when he tried to scare her off, and again when he caught her at Laxdo. Each time he’s appeared like fog off the water, disappearing just the same way, intangible and unannounced. “Sorry.”
Satisfaction glints like a knife’s edge in that man’s eyes, as if he suspected he might get this reaction. Or worse, meant to do it.
Well, that’s what he gets, anyway, coming up on her all unaware like this, a strange man in a strange city. He’s lucky she doesn’t have her plants, otherwise he wouldn’t have much room to be giving her smirks and sly eyes.
“Don’t worry about it, Miss.” His shoulders twitch, a distant cousin to a shrug, as he shakes off his feet. “I was asking for it sneaking up on a lady all alone like that.”
It mollifies her to hear him admit it. Just a little. “Here, let me at least--”
Her hand flicks out, ready to wick the water off him-- it’d be rude not to-- but he shuffles away with a laugh, his own warding her off.
“I said don’t worry about it.” His smile is wide, if not a little lop-sided. “You barely got me. It’ll dry off on its own.”
She frowns down, eyeing the waterline on his boots, wet splotches climbing all the way to his knees. He can say what he likes, but it’s freezing at the poles, and even dry he’ll still be cold. She should really--
Her teeth clamp down, keeping her protest locked behind them. There’s no reason for her to worry about a man that only shows up to cause her trouble. “What are you doing here?”
His grin sharpens to a point, through strangely, she’s sure it isn’t aimed at her. “My my, young miss. You may not wear a necklace like these water folk, but that question has teeth.”
She lifts her chin, stubbornly meeting his eyes. “Should it not?”
For a moment, he’s still. Not the way a person is, all hitched movements and stifled breaths, but the way eel hound does before they strike-- motionless. More like a statue than a living being.
And then his mouth splits in a grin, tongue clucking against his teeth. “And after I caught you in my arms, too. Folks just aren’t as grateful as they used to be.”
Shirayuki stares, confused. “Used to--?”
His hand waves, dismissive. “Don’t worry about it, Miss. I’ll admit it’s a fair one. I heard the Earth King was in town, and I thought I’d make myself scarce.” He shrugs, so casual. “Hard to say how often men like him take a glance at wanted posters, and I like being on this side of a metal cage, thank you very much.”
“Earth prince.” The correction flies from her before she can think twice. And by the time she does, it’s far, far too late to say anything but, “Raj is the Earth Prince.”
“Ah.” His eyes light, and oh, it isn’t in surprise. No, that’s a guess proven right. “So you do know him.”
“I...”
She turns away, tongue tangled. There’s no reason to tell him more; he’s nothing to her, just a shadow that she can’t shake. One of the many men that serve the Northern Water Tribe; Zen might have hired him on-- odd, that he hasn’t mentioned it yet, if he has-- but that doesn’t mean he’ll be following him around the way Kiki and Mitsuhide do. There’s a half dozen men that serve him directly, and she never sees--
“Do you hear that?” His hand clamps around her wrist, tugging her attention to where he stands with his head cocked, listening to the wind. “C’mon. It’s coming from over there.”
“H-hear--” the words jumble out of her as he drags her along the canals, traipsing through the streets and dodging around gates-- “hear what?”
He stops, so suddenly she nearly trips over him.
“Why, Miss.” His eyes wink as bright as lanterns. “I heard your name.”
Her jaw drops. “But how--?”
“Your Highness.” She’d known that voice anywhere: Master Bender Haruka. The man who told her only days ago that woman should only bend to heal, not to fight. “I hear you’ve taken on a new retainer.”
She tears her gaze from the man beside her, fixing it on the pillars and-- and--
The royal garden. He’s taken her unerringly the the single place in this city that has plants. And also the single place in this city that has Raj.
When she turns back to him, he has the grace to look chagrined. “If I were you,” he says, voice as thin as a breeze, “I wouldn’t poke my head too far up. Hate to get caught, you know.”
Shirayuki frowns, disapproval surely written in her eyes, but--
But she crouches down anyway, shoulder slotting against his. This close, it’s hard to ignore how warm he is, heat radiating even through the thick material of his parka. She scooches closer, letting it wash over her, just a bit.
“Oh, Miss,” he purrs, grin taking on a wicked slant. “I think we’re going to get along just fine.”
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Ok so you said that asks about your writing is open, so are you going to finalize your Avatar au? Like are you going to make a full fic about it? I like the concept and was wondering about it the other day, it's okay if you don't continue it though, i know you already have soo many writing projects under your belt
Also another question, in your MLB au wil alll the Generals eventually cross paths? I know Senku and Chrome already met, but I'm curious whether they are going to meet Gen, Ukyo, or even Ryusui
The ATLA au is actually one of my favorite aus and the only reason it’s not a published fic on my ao3 yet is because I get distracted by other things tbh. I like to pretend that I have a schedule in mind for my projects but it’s really just “when I feel up to it” for most things.
And you’re right, I do have an awful lot on my plate right now as it is. Currently I’d say my focus is on When the Lions Were Late/my no stone wars au, which is actually my most popular ongoing fic on ao3. I want to finish chapter 10 of that fic before I start adding to anything else, but college and mental health have really been a drag on my writing productivity.
I’d love to develop what I have so far into an actual fic, but it might be a looooong time before I get around to it. In the meantime feel free to ask me for headcanons/stuff in the au and I’ll gladly post some smaller things here on the tumblr!
As for the MLB au (which also will take a while to get updated), yes the rest of the generals will be included later on. Some won’t show up until later seasons though.
I actually managed to incorporate almost all the named Dr. stone characters into the overarching plot of the MLB au, which I’m rather proud of. It’s all been planned out through five seasons of ten episodes (chapters) each, and though it’ll take a long time to finish I’m really looking forward to seeing people react to it.
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