#avie talks to herself

[kath-trashh]

okay i could only narrow it down to 9 questions 😭. so you're getting 2 different asks to break it up and if you don't want to answer any of them feel free to skip!!

What do you have in common with your MC? What's different?

What hobbies or skills do they have? How long have they been pursuing them? Why?

Gender identity/sexuality?

How well can they hold their own in a fight without magic?

How does their personality differ between strangers, acquaintances, friends, romantic partners, enemies, etc.?

hehe giggles

2. What do you have in common with your MC? What’s different?

Rin- It’s pretty funny b/c on the surface they’re basically a glorified self-insert down to appearance / preferred name and pronouns but I tried to give them a bunch of other stuff to zhuzh them up a little. They are also probably the most heavily Asian-coded out of all my characters. Now they are an explosively fiery idiot :’)

Avis- I don’t think I share anything in common with them <//3 I am insanely jealous of their hair though. It’s so fabulous.

Mareike- I really did want to be an architect when I was a bit younger, but that’s all in the past now. And maybe borne out of a desire to be a really tall giant lady

Jaxen- I made him to be a little shithead because I have an intense desire to cause problems on purpose. I giggle a little thinking about how much of an irreparable shithead he is.

More under the read more !!

13. What hobbies or skills do they have? How long have they been pursuing them? Why?

Rin- Rin likes horseback riding. They also have a penchant for gymnastics, but that’s post-revival, so they haven’t had a chance to explore it too much, but there’s something.

Avis- They sing. Since they’ve lost their memories, they always hum an empty melody that they don’t know where they learned. But it’s calming, even though they can only seem to hum one line.

Mareike- Mareike’s biggest hobby is cooking. She’s always had a passion for it, and she likes hosting parties for friends or acquaintances. That, and she’s also pretty good at mixing drinks, which is always a neat party trick to show to friends and aspiring alcoholics.

Jaxen- Carving! He’s had the talent since he was a little kid, but it helps keep his hands busy when he’s got some downtime. It humanizes him just a little to see a bloodied assassin finally act like a contemplative kid and carve away at some wood and produce something beautiful.

20. Gender identity / sexuality?

Rin- enby and bisexual

Avis- genderfluid and demisexual

Mareike- transfem and pansexual

Jaxen- cis and bisexual

21. How well can they hold their own in a fight without magic?

Rin- They’d have to rely on their speed and smaller stature to dodge hits, but I can’t imagine them winning any real fight against a skilled opponent (re: when Morga made them spar, Muriel did in fact wholeheartedly beat Rin. Rin then proceeded to cheat and fluster him so he’d be too distracted.)

Avis- Not well. Just not well at all. They’re thin and reedy enough that they could be blown over with a strong wind, never mind a fight.

Mareike- Could and would beat the shit out of you with her bare fists and her writing implements.

Jaxen- A big believer of ripping out someone’s throat with his teeth. That, and as a trained assassin, he holds his own pretty well. His magic only really serves to boost what was already there, like boosting his endurance, mid-fight healing, things like that.

27. How does their personality differ between strangers, acquaintances, friends, romantic partners, enemies, etc.?

Rin- Very friendly to everyone they meet, but also somewhat guarded initially. They aren’t exactly slow to trust, but have strict barriers and lines that they don’t cross with people they’re not familiar with. Around friends and acquaintances, they become more mischievous and playful. A lot of what makes a person reliable to them is being able to understand their patterns and where they stand— and once Rin is able to realize that, they open up more. Around romantic partners, Rin is a snuggler and big on small acts of service and touch. They seek understanding, so they never want to push their boundaries. Around enemies, well. Rin isn’t afraid to speak their mind if they really hate someone.

Avis- They can come off absentminded and distant to everyone, regardless of strangers, acquaintances, or friends. This trait stemmed from before they lost their memories, where their work would keep them essentially detached, but in this case, due to the fact that there’s so much of what made them up missing, they can’t seem to come back down to earth. Around a romantic partner, Avis might open up a bit more, reveal their worries and sort of become more amiable, but they still have periods where they would retreat back into their mind and essentially be unreachable. Around enemies, Avis’s distance can come across unsettling, but they also intend to come off unsettling in that case.

Mareike- Hospitable to a fault. She treats everyone pragmatically, and tries to get to know everyone. Awkward silences aren’t her thing, so she instead tries to can-open everyone in a way. She can make anyone feel like they’ve known her for years with a single conversation. Around friends, she’s happy and conversational, often willing to help out others with any minor inconvenience and offer feedback. She loves just talking to people and helping them— it’s how she sees herself as useful. With a romantic partner, she lets her walls down a little, and can sometimes ask for help on her end. She likes praise, but she also likes her control and as such, often goes out of her way to check up on her romantic partner. Around enemies, Mareike is harsh and doesn’t mince words when voicing her distaste. If anything, she invites confrontation.

Jaxen- Well. What’s there to say, really? Jaxen doesn’t care how he comes off to people. Around certain people that are a bit more aware of how he acts, he tries to come off a little more reliable. But really, he skates by on pure charisma around strangers and acquaintances, leaving before they can really become friends. As a romantic partner, he has a lot of trouble understanding other people’s perspectives— there’s something there about how he really can’t bring himself to truly let down his armor and guard. Around enemies… you’d better hope that Jaxen doesn’t feel particularly murder-happy. Because he personally doesn’t give a single fuck about whether you’re alive or dead as his enemy.

#answered! #ty exterc for being my biggest shooter when it comes to talking abt the arcana #if you cant tell jaxen has super big issues w attachment #avis also just doesn’t feel real half the time but that’s the consequence for losing all of what you were to a literal god but yk yk #mareike prides herself on being a top btw my bad #those r the rules #the arcana #the arcana fan apprentice #the arcana oc #fan apprentice

[localwhoore]

can you write a fic where the logan sergeant defenders are all drivers and noelle gets into a fist fight with logan?

DRIVERS ????

WARNING QND DISCLAIMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

consented racism and unconsented ageism against noelle obviously under the cut

and also my opinions dont cancel me over this stupid shit tjanks 😁😁

red bull

goatifi

-> 2x wdc, clutched up AD21 and took the checkered flag 10 times (scoring an extra 250 points) and won the championship instead of max or lewis and caused outrage. also scored a redbull seat

max verstappen

-> DUDUDUDU MAX VERSTAPPEN DUDUDUDU MAAX VERSTAPPEN no seriously he won the championship by lap 1 😞

ferrari

fernando alonso

-> future 3x wdc, promising 43 yrold rookie future of f1 who is unfortunately unable to escape the torturous clutches of ferrari (finally wins a wdc for them too)

charles leclerc

-> is chained up and shackled at the bottom of ferrari HQ and fed cold soup and stale bread twice a week and cannot be released unless its race weekend. (inspired by the james vowles c.ai bot i got bored and talked to who had alex albon, who he called alaobono, in a cage for biting williams guests. also he crawled on all fours and threw chairs and printers)

mercedes

liyah amelia grace habibi afzal @foreveralbon

-> when f1 eventually brought sepang back onto the calendar, liyah was fighting for P1 a few laps in when her engineer mentioned sightseeing at KL’s twins towers (the petronas towers). this was a mistake as upon hearing those words, liyah was immediately inhabited by the spirit and earthly energies of her late uncle: muhammad hazam “ارهابي” omar afzal, who passed down his loving lifelong legacy to her via muscle memory and pure instinct aka going back to her roots. anyways, she flung her car towards a corner with banking and projectile launched herself at 346km/h over 60km distance between her and her goal over the span of a shocking 10 minutes and 24 seconds!!! liyah escaped the incident with little injury, but the same cannot be said for those inside the towers (towers as in plural because george russell flew past her into the 2nd tower shortly after). media had an absolute fucking field day

george russell

-> misses half his races to film ads for tommy hilfiger and marriot bonvoy. toto gets pissed and kicks him out of their sleepover party which makes george severely depressed but its ok cz he gets married to carmen in his fav hotel marriot w a british royalty themed wedding (hes dressed as princess diana)

mclaren

lando norris

-> 4x wdc, paid goatifi to take out max and asked oscar to pull a kmag in saudi and decimated a 1-2 at silver stone hip hip hooray also he got fucked into the monaco hairpin barriers and was injured permanently unable to grow a pedostache

oscar piastri

-> 999x wdc, boy oh boy where do i even begin. the loml, oscar piastri. you truly are my sunshine. my only sunshine. you make me happy when skies are gray. you’ll never know dearrrrr how much i looove youuu please dont takee my sunshine awaaaaayyyyyyyy pookie wookie aookie bookie cookie dookie eookue fookie gookie hookie iookie jookie kookie lookie mookie nookie oookie pookie quookie rookie sookie tookie uookie vookue wookue xookie yookie zookie

alphatauri

yuki tsunoda

-> 50x wdc. my goat 🐐 he beat daniel 23-1 and is a fucking LEGENDDDDDD MY GOAT TRRRRRAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOINTS AND YUKAMPIONSHIP LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶

liam lawson

-> he finally let his hair grow out so he doesnt look like a lesbian anymore cutie patootie finally got a seat 😜😜

aston martin

avis cloostefek @aviscarrentals

-> actively trying to seduce lawrence stroll for that bank cz shes kinda broke idk the f1 life pays her less rhan she thought???? regularly breaks into the VIP area and eats all rhe food in catering because shes pasty pale white and has no cuisine culture except crackers and unseasoned boiled chicken and a side of cheese soggy french fries

lance stroll

-> justice for lance guys his dad is being seduced by a pasty white woman with very bad very severe chronic culture-less behavioural tendencies 😞

alpine..

lea @vroomvroomcircuit

-> im sorry but someone had to be in the alpine and i picked u🥰 much love!! anyways one fine typical tuesday lea remembered that her teammate is french and her deeprooted german moustache man awakened and unleashed havoc upon the french demanding her right to the land of the baguettes and croissant to be reclaimed for the return of glory for the motherlandYAA deutschland 🇩🇪 NEIN DA FÜHRER SAUSAGE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

pierre gasly

-> french ☹️

haas

althea noelle. @disneyprincemuke

-> 10x destructors championship. an antique and prehistoric primordial being in the form of a petite pinoy creature. it has devoted to the art of racing since the dawn of time. since day was night, night was day as the two parallels of each other blurred in a flourish and spectacle of a draped veil over the vast expanse known as the horizon, since the stars aligned side by side in the darkest of hours. she raced upon the lands of pangea, upon the tallest of mountains now reduced to stones and rubble that crumble under footsteps and blow with the breeze. throughout millennia, throughout the countless frigid winters and blistering summers as she watched empires rise and fell, civilisation bloom and prosper, tyrants dictate and rebels overthrow, dynasties rule and eras whirl past like the wind, akin to momentary blips as centuries compile into memories viewed back upon within seconds. the only divinity to harbour ancient knowledge lost to time and space, lost through endless bloodshed of war as humanity tore itself apart , screaming aggressive rage and agony from the inside as flesh ripped flesh as the steady drill of what could be known as time mercilessly marched on, and waited for none. the little beam of consciousness this dingus fostered within burnt bright bold as passion strove on as fuel for her little stature (shocking). also she has yet to score a point in f1 cz she keeps twinning logan sargeant and crashing out on the 1st lap. her nickname is turn one thea 💀💀💀

TLDR; noelle is old and hasnt scored in f1

kevin magnussen

-> https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSFGTu8tL/

stake kick balls sauber

zhou goatyu

-> 中国是第一！！周冠宇我爱你啊！！！请让祖国骄傲我们都支持你。周冠宇周冠宇！加油加油加油拿多分🗣️🗣️🗣️🥶🥶🥶

mclgf (now ur saubergf idk) @mclarengf

-> all hands on deck for the pitstops!!!! toby and newplayer are incharge of the tires and aria is ur race engineer turned reserve driver and tobys a development driver idfk bro 😭😭

williams

alex albon

-> james vowles character ai bot

logan sargeant

-> Oh Say, can you see By the dawn's early light What so proudly we hailed At the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars Through the perilous fight O'er the ramparts we watched Were so gallantly, yeah, streaming? And the rockets' red glare The bombs bursting in air Gave proof through the night That our flag was still there O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave also twinning noelle loves crashing

safety car driver

me (i cant drive)

#f1 #f1 au #formula one #formula 1 #moots #alternate universe #honorary tag for mick my love #friends #satire #this is a joke #do not take this seriously #dont cancel me #nicholas latifi #max verstappen #fernando alonso #charles leclerc #liyah my love #george russell #lando norris #oscar piastri #yuki tsunoda #liam lawson #aviscarrentals #lance stroll #lea!!! #pierre gasly #disneyprincemuke #kevin magnussen #alex albon #logan sargeant

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 49 – Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh

Introduction

I forget who initially recommended me this book, but I owe them an incredible debt. Really the only disappointing thing is that I hadn’t heard of it even sooner, as this really is just perfectly tailored to appeal to me specifically. First science fiction/fantasy novel I can remember reading in a long time that I actively wished was longer. As a testament to how much I liked this book – this review is long enough to need subheadings.

So! Some Desperate Glory is a space opera, following Kyr (Valkyr, technically), a 17-year-old cadet and genetically enhanced ‘warbreed’ golden girl of Gaea Station – that being the quasi-fascist statelet of militant dead-enders who fled to a desolate planetoid in a dead system to continue the war after aliens destroyed the earth/most of humanity. After she gets assigned to Nursery (read: breeding the next generation of soldiers) instead of a combat wing and has a crisis of faith, she talks herself into running away to help her brother on the suicide mission terrorist attack he was deployed on. With the help of one of her brother’s friends and a captured alien, she manages it, discovers that her brother had absolutely no intention of actually following orders once he’d made it out, and take it upon herself to do her own, better, terrorism. From there the plot gets weird, and I’m going to spoil it shamelessly talking about it, but if you value surprises when reading at all just stop this review and go read it.

The Heroine

Kyr is, and I say this lovingly, the most insufferable bitch of a 17-year-old military brat I’ve ever spent time in the head of (at least at first). Even compared to the other indoctrinated child soldiers she’s the cop nobody likes. She then spends the first third to half of the book unlearning this indoctrination, by which I mean very arduously and painfully reaching a point of ‘the fascist cult was a corruption and black mark on the good name of the death cult vengeful crusade, I’ll do it better’ and ‘it’s probably okay to not, like, personally hate aliens who were too young to have been alive when the earth was destroyed. Torturing them for no reason is wrong, like abusing animals was, back when there were animals’. She spends the entire book expecting on a bone-deep level to get herself killed for the cause, and at the end of the book is only like 10% of the way better (one of the last beats in the entire story is, standing with one of her only friends and sure they’re both about to run out of life support, offering to snap their neck for them because ‘asphyxiation’s a nasty way to go’). Whenever she is confronted with the idea that some people aren’t constantly aware of the possibility of physical violence or get to live their lives as something other than a bullet in the gun seeking vengeance for a dead planet she wants to scream and smash things at the unfairness of it all. I adore her.

Honestly my only real complaint is how quickly she starts mellowing out in the second and third acts of the story. There’s extenuating circumstances (whole extra life of memories, time loop bullshit, forcibly confronted with what she said she wanted and what it looks like, etc), but past the one real big hump it did rather feel like her character development suddenly became a bit smooth and easy/. This is one of the things I’m talking about when I say I wish the book was longer – everything after the first big climax and the time travel/universe editing felt kind of rushed and abbreviated.

As far as being a #problematic fave goes, Kyr was also very carefully kept from being, like, directly personally culpable for anything really unforgivable. Which I do understand why from a wanting people to sympathize with the racist homophobic fascist child soldier, but like – you’ve already introduced time travel and retroactivity. C’mon, don’t get cold feet now. Let her and Avi really share the ‘killed trillions in a universe that retroactively never happened’ credit.

Also, and entirely tangentially – you know how in a lot of action shows, the hero has incredibly emotionally tense rivalries and/or camaraderie with other guys, and then also an extremely conventionally feminine girlfriend off to the side somewhere who does like two things in the entire story and mostly seems to exist to prove he’s straight? Kyr has that, except she is textually gay (if incredibly repressed about it and like 90% of the way to asexual in terms of libido). Sorry Lis, but you are literally barely a character. Cleo’s right there, and already has a personality that’s more than two bullet points and is actually involved in the plot in ways beyond ‘love interest’.

Gaea Station

The shitty fascist asteroid habitat that Kyr grew up on is (if barely) the primary setting of the story, and as far as portrayals of incredibly unbalanced and fundamentally broken society just full of cultlike and ultranationalist neuross. I kind of love it as a dystopian setting, though I feel like the author kind of over-egged the pudding on it by the end of the book.

Society is organized into what feels like an intentional parody of a lot of YA dystopia setups, where you live in a tightly integrated mess all through adolescence (each with their own heraldic animal to idenity with!) but then at 17 your exams determine the branch of society you will be assigned to for the rest of your life to do your duty for humanity. Of course, unlike most YA dystopias, the System isn’t the result of some leviathan-state ruling the fates of millions or a tradition that’s going back generations upon generations – it’s a ramshackle mess that can barely consistently feed its warrior elites enough protein slop to take advantage of their genetically engineered hormone levels for muscle growth. It’s all so clearly and intentionally artificial and fake that it loops around to feeling extremely realistic.

Also do love how the elder generation all have names like Joel or Ursa or Elena, while the younger generation are all Valkyr and Magnus and Avicenna and Zenobia. The only really surprising thing is that they don’t specifically call out how children are raised in common and without individual families as following Plato’s Republic – it’s exactly the sort of attempt to create a grand unifying mythology for all of Earth’s true and vengeful children.

I really do wish Tesh had trusted the reader a bit more about it, though. Like, we can tell that almost all the names of the younger generation are either historical figures form the Mediterranean/Greco-Roman world or Norse mythology (with a few exceptions like Avicenna who fit the general aesthetic if not those exact conditions), which puts a bit of a lie to the whole ‘pan-human’ bit. It’s a clever bit of characterization through worldbuilding! You don’t need to call it out twice in dialogue between characters and then again in an in-universe scholarly essay excerpt at the start of a chapter. I can’t complain too badly though, she’s really not even close to being the worst for that I’ve read recently.

One thing I did like especially because I don’t think it was ever called out and brought front and centre is just the sort of, like, perfect irony of both Kyr and her brother Magnus – ‘warbreed’ engineered supersoldiers with physical capabilities beyond any baseline human, blonde aryan ubermensch, the golden children and eugenic future of Gaea Station/true humanity – both being queer and totally unsuited to their assigned gender roles. If it was, like, specifically brought up in a big monologue as disproof of the Gaean ideology or something it’d feel much too on the nose, but as just a set of facts underlying the characterization of the protagonists I liked it quite a lot.

Trio Dynamics

They don’t actually have all that much pagecount spent together, now that I think about it, but as far as I’m concerned the absolute heart of the story is the dynamic between Kyr, Avi (Avicenna, genius-level hacker and cynical rat bastard discontented Gaea Station restaurant) and Yiso (young and rebellious Prince of the Wisdom, taken captive by Gaea when they’re personal ship came too close and then liberated/kidnapped by the other two in their escape attempt). It’s peak trauma-bonding in that the first time it involves a) Avi torturing Yiso to force the alien supercomputer to let him access it and b) Kyr shooting Avi in the head after he uses access to the supercomputer to wipe out 90% of galactic civilization as payback for the whole ‘destroyed Earth with an antimatter missile’ thing (she got a case of morals when confronted with what ‘winning’ would mean. Also her brother shooting himself.)

By all rights they should absolutely hate each other and after two temporal recursions and oceans of retroactively unspilled blood on all their hands they’re the only people who even slightly understand each other. At one point Kyr tells Yiso ‘just so you know, I don’t really care about you as a person,’ and then immideately thinks ‘that was a lie. Why did I say that?’ Avi and Kyr both deprogram themselves from the cult that raised them but only the ‘loyalty to the cult’ bits and not the ‘alien race war vengance death cult’ bits. Yiso meets Kyr in an atemporal training simulation and gets retroactive Stockholm syndrone even though the first time they actually meet she breaks their ribs for repressed teenager reasons. They all drive me absolutely insane and I absolutely adore them. Even if Avi’s redemption felt waaaaay too rushed and unjustified in the final recursion, willing to forgive it here.

Time Loops

The big twist of the story is that, having fucked up and enabled Avi taking vengeance for Earth by doing the same thing to every other alien species, Kyr jumps into the alien supercomputer time manipulation buisness wholesale and goes back to prevent the destruction of Earth. Which then fast forwards to her being a newly minted officer in the Terran Expeditionary Fleet that is the imperial power dominating the known galaxy in increasingly high-collateral damage ways as time goes on. Yiso, in this timeline the beating heart and soul of the main alien resistance group, seeks her out and restores her memories and they go back to try and hijack the alien supercomputer before the government office whose hijacked its crippled remnants (as helmed by the alternate-timeline version of Gaea Station’s great leader, now a fleet admiral of the ‘Providence’ division) manage to literally destroy the universe.

It is mostly down to all the fanfic I’ve read, but I really, really adore timeline divergences that ropagate out and leave all the major characters different but similar people in alien yet appropriate situations. I also adore time travel stories about someone turning the timeline into swiss cheese trying to brute force their way to the one and only golden ending. So I adore this whole conceit. Really my only complaint is that there were only two (one and a half, really) recursions. Not that I’m demanding a full groundhog day here. But, like, it’d have been nice. And Kyr/Avi/Yiso continuously bumping into each other in different configurations and usually ending up at gunpoint would have been ann absolutely amazing bit.

Space Orcs

I can’t be sure Tesh actually had any exposure to the whole online meme of ‘humans as space orcs’, but I do and it’s really impossible to read the book as anything but an examination of the idea. Compared to every alien species ever encountered, humans are tall, heavy, muscular, impulsive, and violent. In a one-on-one confrontation they’ll snap any other species’ neck. The very first pages of the book are an excerpt from an in-universe text writing for an aliens about how actually really humans are very intelligent, and then talking about how threat displays and ‘human culture’. In the original timeline they even fit into the usual social niche of orcs in a lot of fantasy these days – the scattered and diminished remnants of a brutal empire that was defeated and mostly-exterminated in their attempts to conquer the universe.

The book’s handling of this doesn’t really have a point, as far as I can tell – the worldbuilding’s sufficiently divorced from anything real that trying to call it a commentary on racism or genocide or conquering empires is a stretch. (It is after all a fundamental point of the book that the obliteration of earth and extermination of the vast majority of humanity really was the only way the Wisdom could prevent the Terran Federation from conquering the known galaxy. Which is I’m extremely sure not something the author intends to be a historical analogy.) I found it a fun bit of worldbuilding and interesting subversion of normal space opera tropes regarding humanity’s relative abilities, anyway.

Theodicy

Is an incredibly pretentious way to title this section, but also in a sense kind of the core of the book’s plot? In an interesting way, and I think it’s really the book’s greatest weakness that it doesn’t explore or grapple with it enough.

Which is to say – the Wisdom is at the heart of galactic civilization. It’s an alien AI with vague but vast (though limited) reality-warping and precognitive powers. It does not rule the civilizations that accept it, but guides them as a benevolent god towards best, happiest outcomes with whatever support they ask for or need. To determine what ‘best’ means, it creates its Princes, vat-grown heirs to the dead species that created it, with a lifespan of millenia spent going through simulations and interacting with the world to provide the data and decision-making it requires to make that sort of strategic decision.

The Terran Federation’s attempt to reverse-engineer or hijack the Wisdom put it in a situation where the only solution its princes could find was to destroy the better part of humanity and even more of their industry and culture. Through the plot of the first acts of the book, Kyr and her genius-level-hacker friend hijack a node of it and Kyr convinces/forces it to accept her decision-making instead of its prince (who they just killed). This results in an explicitly colonialist human empire ruling over aliens as oppressed subjects, and using the half-wrecked and poorly understood Wisdom to eliminate threats before they occur (shunting the reality backlash off to alien worlds they don’t care about). The next acts of the book mostly resolve around fixing or reverting this, and end with Kyr diving back into a node and having another conversation with it.

A conversation which is basically it giving up. It reverts things back to the human-genocide timeline, then shuts down its infrastructure and goes dark, leaving the entire mostly pacifistic and loosely governed galactic civilization it had protected suddenly on its own. Humanity were such assholes we found a loving god and then convinced it to kill itself.

Which, like, could 100% totally work. As far as high concept short story prompts go its incredible. But as far as actually driving the action goes the Wisdom is the one who makes the most important deciisons in the entire book, and determine the entire shape of the plot. For it to land, it really really needed more than two and a half short conversations on screen, at least to me.

TL:DR

Good book, lesbian doing space atrocities, should have been longer.

#book review #sff #some desperate glory #emily tesh #lesbian space atrocities #space opera

[tortol]

as per my good friend @sepublic’s req, here are some quick notes from dana’s talk yesterday that i somehow managed to get into and wrote as it went on to remember everything, now that i’ve put my brain together and processed all the stuff dana said that y’all might find interesting :)) long post!

when i walked into the room she was just sitting on a chair eating cookies which i guess is irrelevant but it was a huge reality check because like… holy shit? dana terrace is a real human? and she’s eating cookies? i literally could not process her presence but that made it settle in a little more

first answer to a question was that after the shortening of toh she never quite got used to it and just had to suck it and learn to work with what she had. she says that she also feels uneasy by the current reality of the industry and wonders what’s in store for creatives, but hopes the landscape will change in the future

her first reaction upon learning about the shortening was to say “fuck you” and then lock herself away in her room to cry :,)

she heavily considered ending season 2 in an insane cliffhanger and then never actually finishing the show to spite disney, but was convinced by a couple of her friends (including matt braly!) to keep working on it

cancellation news came by the time eda’s requiem was being produced

she was asked about amphibia crossovers and she said that she likes to think anne and luz have crossed paths

a girl in an otter onesie thanked her for making the show. dana got emotional and cried, then got up to hug her

we were her first live event since the show aired!

she’s currently throwing ideas around and working on pitch for a new series (she’s not set on anything tho)

king was originally meant to be very tall

one of the projects she’d love to get to the most is a graphic novel

she’s also interested in writing for live action

hexside was not on her original plans (at least the version we know now) and the execs pushed her to add a school setting into the show

she found making season 1 a lot more challenging due to execs’ restraints

she would’ve liked to dive further into bump and eda’s relationship

the inspiration for belos comes from cult leaders (obviously) and matthew hopkins, as well as many of her own conservative family members, particularly those with homophobic ideals

she doesn’t like writing belos at all

when i told her my name she went “oooo” which made my soul melt from within

i asked if she was able to disclose any unused or potential plot threads she would’ve added if not for the short s3! she said that wasn’t something she could say anything about so she let me ask another question (we were talking for real and she saw my person there in the room can you fucking believe that. she passed me the mic with her hand. insane. i touched dana terrace mic)

so i asked if she was met with any challenges when pitching characters who were part of such a diverse cast, not only in regards to queerness, but also for not quite fitting into a box and just being overall very… different (neurodivergent for the homies, lol) and if the execs had any trouble understanding them

unfortunately i think because i used the word “cast” she misunderstood my question and thought i was talking about the voice acting cast of the show, and said that disney didn’t have any issues hiring diverse people and she always wanted to make sure a character’s diverse traits matched the actor, mentioning avi roque and raine as an example

when she first heard sarah-nicole robles’ audition for luz she didn’t like it because she used a voice that was too high-pitched. thank fuck people in the studio suggested she give her another chance with a more neutral voice, and that’s show she landed on her to voice luz

actually, she said voice casting was the easiest part of her job

disney is not interested in producing any more owl house content

a girl asked about huntlow and she said that was something she couldn’t answer specifically because she didn’t want to give away any spoilers (?)

even though she doesn’t regret what she wrote, she would’ve liked to see how the story would’ve progressed if luz hadn’t been admitted into hexside. she thinks not much would’ve changed; she would still be friends with gus & willow, fall in love with amity, and, eventually, slowly prove to bump how capable she is

she really, REALLY wishes she had gotten to do another episode with young raine and eda. she LOVES those two, and mentioned how much she dreams about doing a series of them as teens

she went through a period of really neglecting her health and sleeping only about two hours a night due to the stress of working on the show and her busy schedule, which really drained her, and advised everyone who wanted to become a showrunner to learn to take care of themselves even in stressful times

i told her how much the show meant to so many people and that every sleepless night had been more than worth it, that everyone was grateful for everything she’d done and keeps on doing, that her efforts had paid the fuck off. also that i hoped she was doing better lately and taking care

she wants to take a good fucking break once the show is over

i also thanked her for making lilith aroace, as no one in the room had mentioned it, and said she was glad people were able to resonate with that

she pitched another show alongside the owl house, and will show the pitch later

they took some pictures with her and the people in the room before wrapping up

respectfully, she’s so fucking fine

i don’t know what else to say man, she just really manages to light up a room. her presence is something so special and those couple hours of just chatting with her alongside other people became easily one of the best moments of my whole life. she really is incredibly passionate about what she does and so eager to help aspiring creators, which is why we were all ultimately there for. i don’t think the past two years of my life would’ve been the same if it hadn’t been for her work impacting me the way it has. i feel like the luckiest person on earth :,)

#this is all the stuff that stood out i think? #it was so great oh god. and so casual #i still can’t believe it i get jelly legs thinking about it #dana terrace #the owl house

[butterflydm]

Minor WoT Odds & Ends, with some s3 speculation

None of this is really big enough for a post of its own, so I'm just posting a few thoughts

Another Rand & Egwene parallel this season just came to mind:

In 2x3, Logain demands wine before he'll teach Rand anything and Rand goes out of his way to get him the wine he asks for, only to have Logain pour it out and waste it, because it was never about the wine but about seeing what he could get Rand to do for him.

In 2x6, Renna demands that Egwene pour her a glass of water, and after Egwene breaks enough that she's able to do it without picturing herself hitting Renna with the pitcher, Renna pours out the water on the floor and wastes it, because it was never about the water but about what she could force Egwene to do.

And we have the purity of water (saidar) vs a pleasant intoxicant in wine, something that damages the body but makes the person who drinks it feel good (corrupted saidin).

...

Also, a note about Nynaeve not healing Rand in 2x8:

“Moiraine says Nynaeve must have done something, or you wouldn’t have lived till we carried you to Verin, but Nynaeve says she was too frightened to light a candle. There is . . . something wrong with your wound. You will have to wait for it to heal naturally.” (from The Great Hunt)

It's clear that the show was leaning on that part of Nynaeve's issue when she was in Falme, imo. Because her block needs to be a problem so that she has a very strong reason to want to break it.

...

re: Lan Investigating Moiraine's stilling issue, the Amrylin that Verin wanted to look up a passage about was Tetsuan, an Amyrlin from the Red Ajah and one who was stripped of her stole and stilled -- might have ended up being part of Lan's investigations into stilling, since he did note Tower records, and it seems like the journey he went on was:

2x1: Tifan's Well (in Arafel) with Moiraine, Verin, Adealas, & Tomas

2x2: Traveling south with Moiraine & co, and then handed off to Alanna & co

2x3-2x4: hanging with Alanna, Ihvon, & Maksim at her family's place, which is in Arafel but sounds closer to Tar Valon

2x5: confrontation with Alanna & her Warders on the road to Tar Valon

2x6: meeting up with Siuan on the road; at first I assumed that they went back to the White Tower before going to Cairhien but Liandrin states in this episode that they were 'called' to Cairhien to meet up with Siuan, which implies to me that Siuan and Lan DIDN'T go back to the Tower first

Which makes me think about Verin, doing investigations in the Tower about the Black Ajah, sure, but she was also investigating at least one person in history who had been stilled. Did she sneak some Tower records to Lan? From 2x7, we know that he's the one who basically hooked Verin and Alanna both in on the plan (Alanna and her Warders are talking about how Lan has said that Verin can be trusted).

2x7: completes his investigation when he speaks with Logain & confirms the weave on Moiraine

...

And then there was an official Amazon press release back on the 15th, which did confirm that part of The Fires of Heaven will be covered in s3, which... I'm still leaning towards that being the doorway encounter. "[at NYCC] Judkins revealed that Season Three of The Wheel of Time will focus primarily on the storylines from Book Four, with elements of Book Five".

But Rand & Aviendha's romance also seems likely to be one of the elements from book 5 that's brought forward into s3 (if Lanfear is going to crack at the end of s3 over the idea of Rand loving someone else, then Rand/Avi would kinda need to be somewhat accelerated). If they still want to start Aviendha off as somewhat resentful/wary of Rand, they might tie it into the fact that he had Moiraine lie to everyone about him being dead (so she's offended on Perrin's behalf, essentially, instead of on Elayne's) and it takes him proving that he's going to do his duty to the Aiel people that makes her soften towards him.

I'm feeling pretty good about my early speculation of 3x3 being Rhuidean, because of the casting of Maigran being for director Thomas Knapper, who is filming/filmed 3x3 & 3x4, so it'll definitely be either 3 or 4. Rafe also talked about how Rand & Perrin are going to have 'focus' episodes in s3, like how Nynaeve had 2x3 and Egwene had 2x6.

My guess is that Mat would get that kind of focus episode in s4 (probably the formation of the Band of the Red Hand); and maybe Elayne would get one in s4 as well, which would have meant all six of our main younger cast would have gotten a big focus episode by the end of s4.

I do think/hope that it's very unlikely that we won't get s4, but I'm definitely hoping that we get all 8 seasons that Rafe wants. But I can see a path to finishing the show in s5 and still hitting all the main beats (won't go into details here for spoiler reasons! but they've set up a lot of the foreshadowing and puzzle pieces that they would need), as long as Rafe knows going into the final season that it's the last one.

The big wildcard for me right now is Rand/Elayne. Their introduction felt very much like a promise that their romance is 100% happening*, but they are also destined to have separated storylines for most of s3 (and if they follow the books, the entirety of s4 (!), though I feel like it would be very easy for them to let Elayne be part of Rand's storyline that season because her plotline in TFoH is literally just wandering the continent in a sidequest while Nynaeve tries to remember a word; it's a fun sidequest but 100% a sidequest).

So my most generous to Rand & Elayne's development outline for s3 would be:

episodes 1&2 are in Falme for Rand's group, and our team isn't going to Caemlyn at all (Caemlyn is reserved for introducing Elaida & co to the audience, in this case). Episode 1 would be Rand & Egwene's final breakup, and then episode 2 would be Elayne having sparks with Rand (and maybe also Aviendha?) but nothing solidly romantic happening. Just some ~vibes~.

episodes 3-6 feature them being separated into their own plotlines, with Elayne and Nynaeve staying behind on the west coast while everyone else goes east (through the Ways?). Rand and Aviendha grow closer together while Rand deals with his stalker ex-girlfriend (Lanfear) who keeps bringing him gifts (Asmodean).

episodes 7&8 has Elayne & Nynaeve rejoining Rand's group (which also would give Nynaeve & Lan more time together, which Daniel has implied that we'll get -- he said in that one s3 teaser interview that the show would be going further along in the relationship than the books had at this point and if that's the case, then a lot needs to happen in s3), in Tear or maybe in Cairhien. And that would be half the season of Elayne and Rand getting to be in the same place. If they get to spend half the season together, that does give considerable time for relationship growth, especially with that separation in the middle to give them time to miss each other.

If in Perrin's storyline in 3-6, we have a subplot about Bain, Chiad, & Gaul, then this could also be more subconscious priming of the audience towards not being weirded out if s3 ends with Elayne, Rand, and Aviendha all having some feelings for each other.

That being said, I do kinda lean towards the idea that s3 is gonna be Rand & Aviendha's season, and the show will make some plot adjustments so that Elayne will actually get to be in the same place as Rand in s4 and so s4 will be either Rand/Elayne or Aviendha/Rand/Elayne. And if we don't get any kind of reunion at the end of s3, then I'm guessing that would happen near the beginning of s4 instead.

(* Though Rafe talks about Rand and Elayne's first meeting in his collider interview:

"We really wanted to flag for the audience that this is a relationship to pay attention to. So having her heal him of this wound that can’t be healed is a way to cement right away for the audience, 'These two have a connection to each other, and I’m paying attention to what’s going on with the two of them.' The way he sees her, the way that she comes into the scene, it all hopefully is signaling to an audience that’s not familiar with the books that there’s something to really pay attention to there — because there is." (from https://collider[dot]com/wheel-of-time-season-2-finale-rafe-judkins-interview/)

Which kinda implies they're going to follow up on it sooner rather than later. But who knows!)

#wot s2 spoilers #wot #wheel of time #wot on prime #wot meta #wot book spoilers #butterfly watches wot #wot 2x8 spoilers #wot s3 speculation #wot speculation #the fires of heaven

[thejaded0nes]

Chapter Two: Questionnaire

First | Last | Next

She looks at the doctor, a clear suspicion in her tone, “What are the side effects?” murmurs erupt as the makeshift convention begins to bicker. Quick to cut in, Dr Aceilia clears her throat and asks in response, “How do you mean?”

“You claim this to be some sort of miracle drug, capable of so much. Have there been any human clinical trials?” Her tone was one of annoyance at the perceived obviousness of her questions.

Aceilia cocks an eyebrow, “Not on any substantial level, not yet. Just a few case studies. Part of this talk's purpose is to see if anyone here would be interested in being a part of said trials.”

She scoffs, “How am I supposed to put my trust in that?” years of distrust begin boiling to the surface, “How can you stand up here and claim to have to fix all, after all the hoops I’ve had to jump through.” The tears were beginning to well. Aceilia was taken aback, she hadn’t expected to hit such a raw nerve.

“I think I may know how you feel,” she started slowly, “Believe me I’m more than familiar with the hoops we are required to jump through.” her own voice began to waver, “But please believe me when I say I do not plan to gate keep.” She clicked a button on the remote and the house lights went up. “I will be honest, there was Dr. Avie, my colleague. She’s one case we’re still trying to understand.”

“I’m sorry?” she flinched, partially because of the light, mostly aforementioned colleague, “What happened with Dr. Avie?”

“We honestly don’t quite know, at first things were as expected then her changes became more… abstract.” She shook her head, “We’re not even sure we could consider it a side effect, before we lost contact she wrote us a paper detailing how the sera-mones knew her better then herself.” tears began to well, “she said she was happy, happier than she’s ever been and I want to believe her, but I need to know for sure.”

The doctor wiped her face dry. “That’s why I brought you all here today, I would like to run trials in an attempt to understand the effects of this more thoroughly. If this can be a breakthrough for our community, then perhaps it's alright I lost a friend.” Her demeanor had all but dropped, whatever collected facade long since made way to an abject honesty. “If you would like to be a part of these trials please, collect a sheet on your way out, fill it in and send it back. We’ll send a journal for you to record your transition, and a dose of sera-mones of course.” She turned and left the stage, gesturing weakly at the table by the exit.

As the small group left, and a smaller group still collected papers from the table, the girl that asked the last question was left in the auditorium. She had been staring at the area where the doctor once stood, still processing all the information she had been given. Was she serious with the potential? Could this be the advancement in gender affirming care she claimed? What happened to Dr. Avie, and why did it not seem to worry her as much as she felt it should? All the questions and more began to roll in her head as she picked up the sheet and began to fill it in.

Name: Zoe Caelire

#transgender #dragon hrt #furry hrt #cryptid hrt #Zyille #alterhuman #alterbeing #otherkin

[spacelazarwolf]

ur weird anti-convert anon really has some baggage they need to unpack, preferably elsewhere and not in your inbox because what in the flying fuck.

"You probably already know that Judaism has pretty strict rules about not bringing up someone's life pre-conversion. It's considered very rude, and is frowned upon by Jewish law. [...] As Aliza Hausman, a conversion counselor and convert herself told me, "it's really nobody's business."" (from myjewishlearning)

hey anon? to you, avi is just some guy on the internet and it's none of your fucking business how he grew up! get a grip!

literally it’s not anyone’s business! and i have made it a point to not disclose whether or not i converted bc i want assholes like this to squirm. do you take a shot at me for potentially being a convert and risk insulting a ‘bio jew’ or do you let it go because you respect the potential that i am not a jew by choice over the chance to dunk on a convert?

and it’s all such an ashkenazi-ass attitude, bc we know when y’all say “jewish household” or “jewish culture” you’re talking about an ashkenazi household and ashkenazi culture. I guarantee these are the same motherfuckers who will tell me the melodies i use for my blessings, the fact i eat rice during passover, my shabbat candlesticks, the food i make, are all ‘not correct’ because they’re not what they grew up with.

#ask avishai

[markantonys]

I am so curious how RandAvi relationship is gonna develop in the show and what their dynamic will be like. I imagine it to be at least a bit different considering they're both in different places at the end of season 2 (both literally and potentially emotionally).

yeah i can't wait to see what the vibes are like!!!!! finally getting to see avirand (& finally getting a true sense of the show's polycule adaptational direction in general) is my third most anticipated thing for season 3 (first most anticipated is gawyn and second most anticipated is cauthor cpr djkfgjh)

there are a couple significant book avirand elements that i'm skeptical will make the show: 1) rand is already involved with elayne and aviendha feels guilty about liking her friend's man, 2) aviendha saw in the silver rings that she is fated to love rand. but i believe the overall vibes of the relationship could still be preserved without those!

as i was talking about the other day, i think #1 is almost certainly out seeing as timeline-wise it just doesn't work to make randlayne happen before avirand in the show. and i will be thrilled to see this element removed! i adore avirand both as a ship and as individuals, but this element was Not a good look for them (rand & elayne's official relationship status is neither here nor there - the fact that avi KNOWS elayne has current feelings for rand and will be hurt by avi sleeping with him is the issue (which avi herself rightfully acknowledges & feels incredibly guilty about & works to make amends with elayne), and as for rand, i suppose elayne's plot device conflicting letters give him plausible deniability, but, well, if you really have to get into the weeds of proving why something isn't TECHNICALLY cheating, then you're already on shaky ground haha). and ESPECIALLY in a poly situation i think it would be a very very good move for the show to stay away from anything like "rand hooks up with a new woman because he thinks of himself as single even though his previous woman still considers herself attached to him in some way, unbeknownst to him" because as we know, "it's just cheating" is the biggest negative stereotype against polyamory, so the show would do well to steer as clear from that as possible imo, and i have faith it will do so since i doubt it will share RJ's strange insistence on getting rand into a polycule without him having any idea he's getting into a polycule until the last possible second lmao and will instead let rand participate in the poly negotiations directly. with luck, we will avoid most instances of Forced Miscommunication where WOT romances are concerned! (but believable miscommunication would be a-okay with me.)

so let's say all of the elayne-related conflicts for avirand are out. what might replace them? the obvious thing is that aviendha instead feels conflicted for egwene's sake, since she's aviendha's friend as well and also has involvement with rand. this would be a very similar vibe as the elayne-related conflicts, but would work better and not stray so much into questionable territory because egwene's relationship with rand is fully in the past and both parties are in agreement on that, and because egwene is there with avirand in person and can give them her blessing right off the bat.

so that's one possibility. but at the end of the day, the core of avirand is simply "they clash at first and resist their feelings for each other, but eventually give in" and there's any number of things baked into the story that could accomplish this same vibe - it doesn't strictly need to be related to aviendha feeling conflict over rand's relationships with others. some other possibilities include but are not limited to: culture clashes, personality clashes, rand is resistant to get close to a new person romantically after lanfear (for his own sake bc it gave him trust issues and/or for the other person's sake bc he's afraid it'd make lanfear target them), aviendha's going through a major unwanted life change in her transition from maiden to wise one and has gotten the other life change of falling in love tangled up with that in her mind, aviendha has complicated feelings towards the car'a'carn and/or resents rand for being the prophesied destroyer of her people's way of life, etc etc etc.

there's a TON of juicy stuff to choose from, so i would imagine we do still get some degree of an enemies-to-lovers, push-and-pull tension between show!avirand! it's a really fun vibe, and the show can easily capture it, even if it needs to change some of the specifics (and that would be in keeping with the show's general approach of "different details, same vibe"). however, there's always a chance they might go for a different vibe! one thing i found noteworthy is that aviendha seemed much more easygoing and lighthearted in s2 than she is in TSR-TFOH, so maybe the vibes of the relationship will be adjusted accordingly. on the other hand, in s2 we see aviendha as a maiden, we see her at peak self-confidence and we see her interacting largely with someone she's decided she likes (perrin), so naturally she's in a good mood! in s3 when she learns she has to become a wise one, her self-confidence will be shaken and she'll be feeling pretty adrift and unhappy, and on top of that if she and rand get off on the wrong foot and she decides she doesn't like him, then we might see Grumpy Aviendha emerge more strongly, which would bring us back to our book vibes of avirand bickering and needling each other. (which would be really fun to see in the show bc it's such a different vibe than the High School Sweethearts & FWB-To-Lovers we've seen with rand's show romances so far. and the show's emphasized how rand has a soft gooey core but can get very stubborn and lash out when pushed, so i think he would vibe really well in an Irritants-To-Lovers arc!)

okay finally making my way back to potentially-cut-element #2, the silver rings. the only real reason that's needed in the books is so that RJ could force aviendha to Give In and sleep with someone she considers her friend's boyfriend. but if her obstacles towards giving into her feelings for rand are more just "he's annoying" than "it would majorly violate my personal code of honor", then she doesn't need to be given a Huge Inevitable Reason about why she must sleep with him, and thus there's no real reason to include Fated Romance angle imo (especially since avirand has a ton going on even without it, and we already will have 2 Fated Romances in rand/min & mat/tuon where the Fated Romance portion is actually a key element - so for avirand where it is not a key element, the show may as well cut it out so as not to overdo Fated Romances since we know how much RJ loved that trope). not to say that aviendha won't still go to rhuidean or that the silver rings would be cut, of course! just that the specific element of her learning she's fated to love rand may not feature (or it may! there's also no huge reason why it SHOULD be cut, besides just cutting down on the number of Fated Romances IF they even decide they want to cut down on that. maybe they won't want to!)

#anonymous #answered #wot book spoilers

[lucreziaq2001]

•TV show: "Criminal minds".

•Content warnings: A mother believing her daughter committed suicide for many years, the daughter losing her father when she was a toddler, the mother raising her all by herself after her husband's death, the girl dressing like a male and only spending time with boys as a child, the possibility of her being a lesbian, mentions of her death and the possibility of it being a murder, her not having many friends, the girl showing behavioral problems in high school and not being expelled only because her mom funded the school, the relationship between the mother, teen pregnancy (arriving as a happy thing for the girl and her boyfriend), the girl's mom raising her grandson after her daughter's death and her daughter not being as close as the one she had with her father and mentions of people who didn't like the girl.

•Some of the lines are almost the same that are in a scene of the "Cold case" episode this story is inspired by. I did modify them a bit, though. I didn't just copy and paste them.

•Tags: @lex13cm, @golden1u5t, @avis-writeshq, @chrrysgirl, @hugyourlungs, @achillmango, @marie-sworld, @iluvreid, @babygirl-garcia, @rynwritesreid, @strangermoonlove.

The bridge to Heaven

Chapter 3: A troubled girl

First thing after that meeting, also thanks to Matthew, who had told him where the woman was living, the next day, David took a plane to visit Elizabeth Prentiss, Emily's now 82-year-old mother, at Plush Mills Senior Living in Philadelphia, a complex of small apartments for seniors who could no longer live on their own.

There, they were cared for by nurses, but they could also still have some of the independence they had always been used to.

"Elizabeth Prentiss?" Dave called as he entered the common room of the complex, where a group of elderly people, three men and two women, were sitting around a table.

"It's me" a gray-haired, not very tall woman wearing a long black dress replied, standing up and walking towards him.

"I'm David Rossi, a former crime writer" the man introduced himself, then he almost immediately got to the point "I have a few questions to ask you about a murder".

"A murder?!?" Elizabeth exclaimed, clearly concerned "What happened?".

"I think it would be better to talk about it in private" David replied, and when she nodded, the two left the room together.

"I decided to look into your daughter's case" the man then explained to her "I know I'm not a policeman, but the only witness contacted me and gave me some new information on the subject".

"I don't understand. Why after all these years? And also, Emily committed suicide" Elizabeth retorted, obviously confused.

She too, like most people in 1963, had believed the police's statements about that case, and perhaps it had also been her pain that had prevented her from asking further questions about that matter.

"From what I know, Emily had a lot of problems. At least, that's what a former schoolmate of hers, the witness I just told you about, told me" David then tried to tell her, hoping Elizabeth would have told him useful to his investigation.

"Well, she lost her father when she was 3 years old and after his death, I raised her all by myself. I did my best, but Emily and I never had the same kind of relationship she used to have with her dad" the woman explained.

"Your daughter dressed and acted like a boy, right?" the writer then asked her.

As a response, Elizabeth nodded.

"Before my husband's death, and for some time even after it, she imitated everything he did. She dressed like a boy, she only hung out with boys even at school. But it was when she was 13 that the real problems began" she then explained to him.

"What kind of problems?" David then questioned.

"She didn't listen to her teachers, skipped school, fought with her classmates. She wasn't expelled from school just because I donated money to the institution every year in high school. Believe me, those years weren't easy, neither for me nor for her" Elizabeth said.

"Excuse these questions, but how far did Emily's unconventional behaviors go? Did your daughter prefer to be with other girls on a romantic level?" Dave ventured, praying that the woman wouldn't close up after questions like that about her daughter.

"Oh, no! She had a boyfriend, Ian Doyle. And in December of 1960, she got pregnant by him. Declan was born on September 4 of the next year and for Emily, that little boy was her greatest joy" Elizabeth replied, smiling for the first time since he had met her "My grandson is 42 years old now and I raised him after my daughter's death. He comes to visit me once a week".

"I see. And can you think of anyone who hated Emily, by any chance?" David then asked her.

"I must admit that she didn't have many friends. Only Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia and Jennifer Jareau. And she also often had contact with Aaron Hotchner and Elle Greenaway at school, but those interactions were a lot less pleasant" Elizabeth responded, and after thanking her for all she had told him, Dave said goodbye to the woman and left.

Thanks to Elizabeth Prentiss, he now knew how to solve that case.

He had to look for the people Emily's mother had just spoken to him about.

He didn't really know why, but he strongly felt one of them would have been the key to solving this case.

Elizabeth, instead, has just been brought back by her mind to her first meeting with Aaron Hotchner.

It was something she would have much preferred to forget, but she knew that apparently insignificant moment would have never left her memories.

[getinthefuckingcarkitten]

“...And then she got dragged out of the classroom, for like, the third time this week. I mean, mentioning condoms in the most religious teacher’s class is really… Hey, Avie, are you listening?” The girl leaned forward, her elbows sliding a bit on top of her crossed legs.

To be honest, Avery was only half-registering whatever she had been prattling on about for the last 30 minutes. She had only asked about school because she felt a little guilty for having “accidentally” pushed the smaller girl into the car’s door, hard enough to make her yelp like a little dog when you kick it. She wasn’t even really angry at the girl, but she took a bit too long saying goodbye to her friend outside school and Avery was a busy woman with places to be and networking to get done, so really, it was just a bit of an overreaction.

“...Yes.” Avery lied, nodding half-heartedly. “It was a real faux-pas of this girl, mhm.”

She seemed so clearly disinterested that the girl sighed and gave up, going quiet for a brief moment. Those were rare with this one, talkative as she was. At least she picked up on those little clues, and there was no need to tell her to shut up.

“Your bed is so comfortable!” The girl commented. Maybe Avery mentally praised her too soon, as she heard the bed creak while the girl swung her own body back and forth like a toddler on a sugar high.

Avery wouldn’t normally take anyone to her house, much less a girl like the one currently sitting on her bed, in her gaudy make-up and extremely short school skirt. As charming as she could be in parties, it turned out that the party girl persona was not only a persona, as Avery would have hoped. She was exactly as loud and hyperactive in her daily life.

Luckily for her, exactly as charming too, which was the reason Avery hadn’t dropped her yet, as there were benefits to having on her arm someone who could make grouchy executives laugh with bawdy jokes. And since she was in a bit of a rush, that little gremlin even got to see how nice Avery’s house was, too, as long as she remained within eyesight. Avery liked cats, but never owned one because of how prone they were to break stuff while jumping on counters. That girl was exactly like that, except bigger and less graceful.

Avery heard a thud, and breathed in deeply as she glanced to the side, seeing that the girl managed to fall off the bed due to her own clumsiness. She had picked her up by the school’s gate, no way that kid was already drunk... Avery pushed her chair back stiffly, feeling her head run hot with rage.

The click-clack of her heels made the girl look up, still dumbly steadying herself on her hands and knees on the floor. Such a position suited some kind of destitute orphan like her, of course, but it didn’t fit Avery’s companion for the evening at all.

“What are you doing still dressed like that?” Avery’s voice had a sharp edge to it. “Go wipe that clown shit off your face. We’re going to run late.”

Those new generation fashion fads always had Avery grinding her teeth from the sheer distaste, and that overdone, cartoonish sort of makeup that girls her age seemed to replicate in droves, shortening their skirts and lowering their socks to match was just one more ridiculous low-class idiocy. Avery had yet to beat it into that thick skull of hers. For now, she put up with it, but only until they went out together.

However, the girl simply looked up at her with a slight smirk.

“Can’t i go like this? I like it like this.” She said, all innocently. Avery gave her a cold look. “You just don’t get it.”

“What don’t i get?” Avery half-spat at her, clear disdain in her face and mockery in her voice. “I can see that you still paint your face like a child’s, yes. How endearing. Now go wash it off.”

The girl scowled a bit, but soon her annoying smile returned. She sat back, looking so relaxed that it’d make anyone just want to strangle her.

“Do you know why you don’t get it?” The girl asked, humming as she held back laughter.

“Why?” Avery asked through gritted teeth, her fists clenching.

“Because you’re such an old fucking hag.” The girl gave her a shit-eating grin, crooked little fangs on full display.

Avery heard the noise of impact, dry like fire crackling, slightly deafening, before she realized she had moved. As the girl’s head snapped back from the force of her punch, she looked down at her half-numb hand, scoffing. She could hear a low mewling, a pained gasp as the girl held her own face, her head having hit the bedframe hard enough to put her thoughts back into place.

When she looked back up at Avery, tears going down her face and making make-up run all over it, a little bit of blood coming out of her mouth, Avery felt a little bad.

And then the guilt went right out of the window as she heard the girl’s low chuckle as she rubbed her face, watching the white color transfer from her stained cheeks to her fingertips.

“Guess you got what you wanted.” The girl commented, knowing her makeup was ruined. Her usually high-pitched voice was hoarse, likely from the scare.

Avery watched the girl move and slowly stand, before sitting down on the bed. Her heavy breath and messy appearance should disgust anyone with half a mind to care about their expensive sheets getting stained by cheap makeup, but Avery was right past the point of caring when those puppy eyes, scared like cornered prey and yet oh so excited sent a shiver down her spine.

“Feeling a bit weak on the legs.” The girl’s voice, breathy and ragged, only made Avery lean in closer.

“Is that so?” Avery asked, her breath catching as she couldn’t stop herself from leering like a hungry wolf.

The girl took little time to close the distance left between them, and Avery had to remember she was really good at picking up on those subtle signs. Soft lips met hers, a receptive little mouth opening up for Avery to take what was hers, the taste of strawberry bubblegum overwhelmingly sweet mixing in with the tangy iron of spilled blood at the tip of that girl’s tongue making all traces of what could have been a fight dissipate like mist.

As they pulled away, a thin string of spit connecting them before Avery licked her lips, the girl came back and kissed her jaw.

“You know i didn’t mean it.” Sweet words coming from an even sweeter voice could go a long way even if it’s owner was such a deceptive little bitch. “Can i apologize?”

And Avery would never say no to such a sweet offering. She sat on the bed besides the girl, kissing her for a little more no matter how sloppy it got, giving her a little hum of approval before watching the little vixen slide down, leaving a kiss on Avery’s exposed shoulder as she went back to her knees. On second thought, that was the perfect position for her on all accounts.

The girl gently slid Avery’s panties off from under her cocktail dress, lifting her legs out of it one at a time, a kiss on her knees and another at her feet as the underwear came off before her kisses went up, first to the inside of Avery’s thighs, then up right in between them, eliciting an embarrassing moan that made Avery cover her mouth with her hand. Maybe she was more worked up than she previously thought, but work stress made it hard to get properly horny until she could have a hot young thing between her legs like this.

With far more care than Avery bothered to have when their positions were reversed, the girl used two fingers to push apart her folds before her tongue slid between them. Their eyes met as the girl sought approval to continue, as if she was fucking stupid or something. Avery’s hand grabbed a fistful of the girl’s hair and then she pulled her face in closer, and at least that was all she needed to do to have her right back at work, licking up and down her pussy with newfound vigor before focusing on her clit, her rhythmic movements making Avery’s hand tighten on her hair as the girl’s head bobbed, looking up at Avery like some lovesick puppy. The grip on her hair tightened as Avery’s hips buckled forward, as she threw one leg around the girl’s shoulder to ride her face better.

It didn’t take that long for Avery to come from the girl’s gentle caresses with one last forceful thrust, her leg briefly locking the girl’s head in place while Avery threw her head back and moaned one last, drawn-out mewl. As she recovered her bearings, her body relaxed and looked she down between her legs, that vixen looked a little too proud of herself, despite her disgustingly messy face and disheveled clothes.

And then she rose to her feet slowly, coming up to kiss Avery in a much tamer kiss, soft hands on their way to undo the zipper of the cocktail dress before Avery roughly grabbed one of the wandering hands.

“What are you doing?” Avery asked, her voice still icy despite not even being angry anymore. “We’re running late. Go take a shower, you look disgusting.”

The girl stilled for a moment, and Avery might have dreamt the spark of rebellion that crossed her face before she smiled pleasantly and nodded.

“Right… I’ll… Be back soon.” The girl replied, her voice a little less hoarse as she got off Avery and slowly walked to the suite’s spacious bathroom.

With her gone, Avery quickly pulled her panties up and went to check herself in the mirror. With a soft “Fuck,” she took some wet wipes to rub off the entire lower half of her face, having gotten careless enough to let her flawless foundation get stained with runny eyeliner and foundation that was twenty times darker than hers.

As she took her time to fix her appearance, she heard the soft pitter-patter of the girl’s bare feet behind her. Avery turned around to see her dressed in the pretty pink dress she had picked out especially for her, which indeed did compliment her hair quite well. And how much prettier she looked bare-faced, acting all coquettish as she approached Avery.

“What should i do?” The girl pointed to the bruise blooming on her cheek from Avery’s punch. “I can’t go out like this…”

“Sit down.” Avery got up from her vanity’s chair, and the girl promptly obeyed. Good, it seemed like she was no longer up to having an attitude, at least for now. “I’ll cover it up, so stay still.”

Avery pulled out a bunch of bottles and boxes from a few shopping bags, and laid them on the vanity before starting to apply some products to the girl’s face.

As the girl flinched and let out a soft gasp when the concealer brush made pressure against her cheek, Avery held her chin to keep her in place.

“Is it that sore?” Avery asked, halfway between concerned and finding it really funny. It wouldn’t be good if it was something serious, but the girl’s reactions, with her breathy little noises that sounded more naughty than really painful, were a bit amusing.

“N-No.” The girl lied, and repositioned her face to look straight ahead, playing tough. Whenever Avery pressed too hard on the bruise with a brush or sponge, the girl would bite her lips. It was hard not to laugh.

After a few minutes, the bruise was perfectly covered-up. Proud of herself, Avery showed it to the girl, who beamed at her reflection.

“Woah, so much better!” She said, amazed. “I’m glad. Can’t have people thinking you beat me.”

Avery only gave her a slap over the head for that one, before telling her to quiet down as she did the rest of her makeup, in a more professional and dignified style than her usual.

But as Avery drew on a winged cat liner that really complimented the girl’s sharp eyes, she spoke up again.

“Hey, Avie.” The girl started with that annoying nickname, making Avery sigh.

“I thought i had just told you to keep quiet.” Avery replied, disinterested in whatever she was about to say.

“I was just wondering how you knew my actual shade? I usually wear a darker one, so…” The girl trailed off as she realized how intensely Avery was glaring at her.

She didn’t even mean to glare. It was just a kneejerk reaction as she was expecting more bullshit.

“You hands.” Avery replied, simply. “I just looked at your hands.”

“...Ah.” The girl looked at her own hand, blushing a little. Avery hoped she wasn't getting any weird ideas-

A bruise like something like a hand had constrained the girl's wrist caught Avery’s attention, and she looked up to see another one blooming on the shoulder that hit the car as Avery pushed the girl. Suddenly, she was a bit more nervous.

“...I’ll wear gloves.” The girl spoke up, covering her bruised wrist with her other hand, making Avery snap out of it.

“...You know, good idea. I can… Cover up this one too, then.” Avery gently touched the girl’s bruised shoulder. “I can’t let people think i beat you.”

The girl giggled at this, looking cute now that she looked more like what Avery expected of her companions. Satisfied, she bent to start the shoulder cover up. To her surprise, the girl turned around and gave her a small peck on the lips.

As Avery pulled away, that infatuated look was back on the girl’s face. It gave her a small shudder, wondering how long would that little girl be satisfied with Avery’s sort of “affection.” Each day, it seemed like she wanted more and more of a reaction. Maybe this gamble was turning riskier than what was calculated-

But it was indeed so lovely, the way the girl turned her head away, averting her gaze as if the cover up of a bruise was some intimate affair, the way she sighed softly on Avery’s hand every now and then. Maybe keeping her around a while longer was okay, right?

++Love

#dol avery #degrees of lewdity #mine #toxic yuri fanfic yay #Avery doesn't refer to Foxglove by her name because she doesn't respect her ♥️ #dolgl

[highladyluck]

Season 2, Episode 5 Liveblog

“Finished pouting?” Never. Suroth has never finished pouting in her life

Egwene says “These colors don’t run!”

I’m sorry but I laughed at Lanfear’s outfit

Grolm time! I love the Seanchan theme it’s so creepy

We have handtalk!

Ahahahahahaha damn they are really going for the Whitecloak and Rand parallels (uniting everyone under our banner to fight the shadow)

Interesting scarification(?) on Turak’s bald head- are they coding him as imperial family? I forgot what his canonical relationship to the throne was

It's manicure time for Suroth's coke nails

Oh hai, it’s our buddy Fain

I forgot that Turak knew the box code (as did book!Lanfear) and that reports of him having the Horn would have gone back to Seanchan

True Power is very useful here

Oh my god you have horse girl Moiraine killing horses (like that’ll stop Lanfear)

I like how she vaporized his head

Omg I love Lanfear’s utter disdain

Perrin is very mad right now, love to see it

“You can’t run from what you are” but the boys are all sure as hell are going to try lmao

Moiraine like ‘it’s time for very bad news, are you keeping moving? good good’

‘If they’re all released we’re doomed’ (Look I’m gonna tell you a secret, they kinda suck, you guys will probably do ok)

Hopper is like ‘I’m on babysitting duty, I have no choice’

I hope we get Gaul but I will take… holy shit that is a smoking hot Aviendha

Omg omg is that Dain Bornhald? ill-met by moonlight

Perrin’s like ‘I do not understand and I am now officially in jailbreak mode, please leave any friendly warnings with my wolf’

It’s not a coincidence that there are Aiel and Seanchan, it’s the plot lmao (also the apocalypse)

I love Lanfear talking to herself so so much! Eat that scenery, Lanfear! Eat it for the woman and the man who no longer can eat things because you sewed their mouth shut and popped their head like a pimple, respectively

Browns Browns Browns

In the Ways again…

Liandrin, are you gonna try to recruit Nyneave? Let me rephrase that. Do you think you will SUCCEED in recruiting Nyneave?

Huh, tying the oaths to Artur Hawkwing, I kinda like that

Nihilism, baby!!! Oh I love Nyneave so much

Suroth is not having a good day

“Finished pouting?” Never. Suroth has never finished pouting in her life

“And plunge the Empire into civil war?” 👀👀👀 It’s fine they have spares

Lmao Suroth in a power struggle with Ishy is very fun

If you keep calling the last battle early, no one is going to believe you when it really is the last battle, Ishy

“People shouldn’t be in cages” that’s a book line!

She is so hot help

Ooooh I love the Aiel theme

The music this season is so good!!!

Dain with his big axe and Perrin with his hammer

The camera on the battle scenes is characteristic by now- feels very ‘in it’

Lanfear like ‘ah my Tel'Aran'Rhiod propaganda is working’

Congrats Moiraine now everyone in your family thinks Rand is your boytoy

Queen Galldrian and baby boy Barthanes!

Verin is like ‘oh hi! Did you know you have massive problems? :D’

It’s important to cross-check

Verin introducing Compulsion

Liandrin I think you don’t have a ton of leg to stand on criticizing the system when you’re about to feed these girls into it

Awww look she gave Nyneave a fighting chance

Egwene says “These colors don’t run!”

Avi like ‘wow you don’t even know what toh is, hoo boy’

I like their carpet mantles

Lmao Elayne’s priorities “They’re occupiers!” vs Nyneave “who cares, we need to get the fuck out of here” al’Meara

Verin is Columboing her way through the usual suspects

Omg Moiraine is actually being honest as well as truthful

And her sister is honest back

Rand needs protection! And he needs you because you’re his magic mom who gives him complexes

UM [this is Ishy cuddling up to Rand]

Subtlety thy name is not Lanfear

HUH (re Moiraine desperation)

Because you’re King Nihilist

MOGGY MENTION

TITS OUT FOR GRAENDAL

“The Boys” I disagree with Lanfear’s assessment of the girls (insane & vain/stupid) but she’s right about the boys, and it does set up the 'everyone in this office hates everyone else' vibes

See I told you, he’s King Nihilist

Booooooooooooo Mat’s not yours

Oh you have not seen anything yet re: breaking Rand

Oooooooooh Ishy prompted the omens for the Return?

Court of the Nine Moons mention! It's interesting having this be the first time we hear about it. Won't change things that much narratively unless certain other characters hear about it prior to the next season or so, though.

YES WE HAVE YELLOW AJAH I love it

Oh man this is going to hurt

Collars and leashes confirmed

Moiraine is correct that Lanfear probably won’t hurt him physically. However, she can absolutely hurt him emotionally so I don't think he's gonna be, uh, safe

Hmmmmm I don’t think I like the lack of mystery about why Lanfear turned, but otoh no living Aes Sedai is a reliable narrator about the Age of Legends, so I’m filing this under ‘reasonable but there might be a more interesting story later’

Staking Rand out like sexy sexy bait

Oooooh it’s symbolism time

I’m sorry but I laughed at Lanfear’s outfit

Oh episode 6 is going to be very hard to watch

#wheel of time #wot book spoilers #wot on prime #wot on prime spoilers #wot on prime s2 #wot on prime s2e5 #Lanfear bites AND she can hurt you in other ways

[void-botanist]

Standing, Asalun, & Associates

An AOM &c. AU that nobody asked for, so I'm delivering!

This is me taking Mystery Incorporated, Dead End: Paranormal Park, Hilda, Mob Psycho 100, and let's be honest, the whole ghost segment of The Sword Interval that lives rent-free in my mind into one vibeful concept: Horatio and Marcus run a paranormal investigation business.

Due to all of their proposed names being terrible puns or just not catchy, they gave up and called it Standing & Asalun. They run it out of what is Horatio's Flowers in AOM, and they do extremely lackluster business. However, Celia thinks it's the most delightful fucking thing and inserted herself into the investigation so much that they essentially hired her. She still has a day job, like Marcus, and unlike Horatio MyOwnBoss Standing. Eventually Allison joined in, and even if they would hire him he doesn't actually want the job, so he's technically a contractor. Still, the addition of another regular meant that they finally felt like they had to change the name to Standing, Asalun, & Associates.

Season One

Season one is the alternate story to AOM and begins with things going poorly as usual - they're not actually that bad at their job, but they have a hard time finding people who actually need paranormal things investigated, or even stuff they can put on their video channel - until Sid blows into town, with his parents not far behind. Horatio is instantly convinced that something is Off. No one else agrees - obviously Sid is just having a bad time and is also sixteen years older than when they last saw him. Horatio is ready to acknowledge that he was just too hungry for a lead when Sid starts having dreams that are very clearly not normal weird but paranormal weird. On an island that seems to have nothing paranormal going on, there's nowhere they could possibly be coming from...unless Sid's recently arrived parents have something to do with it. But they're not even witches, let alone known to be capable of whatever this is. So why do they seem to make the dreams worse but their muddy message clearer? SAA - but especially Horatio and the newest associate, Sid - will stop at nothing to find out.

Starring

Horatio Standing

keeps the books

makes the pepe silvia boards

lives above SAA

brings the Fred Jones energy

Marcus Asalun

makes most of the money that goes into the books with his art

designs the ghost science experiments

lives elsewhere but if he could fit his studio into Horatio's place he'd probably just live there. it would cost less

brings the Velma Dinkley energy

Celia Standing

manages the morale

gives the pep talks

lives with Allison

brings the Daphne Blake energy

Allison Hughes

keeps to his own schedule

bakes the snacks

lives with Celia, but it's his house

brings the Shaggy Rogers energy (or Scooby, because wolf)

Sid Reid

keeps a log of his strange nightmares

makes all the food that's not snacks

lives with Horatio and also in fear of his parents, paranormal influence or no

brings the Mr. E energy

with additional appearances by

Avis Peynon

is not your fucking chauffeur service damn it

Sorian Shank

inherited Fred Jones's legendary trapbuilding abilities

Phil Shank

will be your chauffeur service if you don't kill her vibe

Leon Standing

has a book on that but no he doesn't know what the text means either

Edith Standing

banned from contracting with SAA because she pranked them too much

Donovan Reid

is obviously a paranormal intensifier because he's clearly the coolest guy in the world

Emma Reid

read a book about this once and yes she's sure she knows what the text means

#energy here is mostly role but there's also some personality stuff in there. you can't tell me Horatio isn't basically Fred #c: Horatio #c: Sid #c: Marcus #c: Celia #c: Allison #c: Donovan #c: Emma #c: Leon #c: Edith #c: Phil #c: Avis #c: Sorian #wip: aom #au: saa

[starfall-spirit]

Heavy Rests The Crown

HRTC Masterlist

Summary: Respectively ruling land and sea, the newly appointed High Lord and young merqueen find themselves pressured to marry. Their solution-a union their advisors would never approve of. Not that they can do a thing about it now.

Word Count: 1,764

Chapter II: So, She Wants to Marry Her Mate

Rhys

She didn’t feel it. How the fuck did she not feel it? It wasn’t like she was a human. Did the merfolk and fae mate? Water wraiths, possibly, but not high fae. Not even a half-breed. But it was, quite obviously, a possibility. The second he laid eyes on her that evening he suspected the bond. The second he took her hand he knew for certain. And the young queen hadn’t felt so much as a tingle, let alone that cord of gold. Unless she was just that good at hiding her emotions.

Alone on the house’ balcony, he could help but give that cord a little tug, summoning the female from his circle of friends. She glided up to the balcony, slowly swirling the red wine left in her glass. “Is that a little High Lord trick or something else?”

He chuckled. “I do like to keep an air of mystery, Feyre darling.” Her eyebrow quirked at the endearment, but she didn’t scold him for it. She merely waited for him to explain why he requested her presence. “I apologize for dragging you away from everyone. I was just hoping to get to know you better.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve barely seen you in passing until tonight, yet you seem to spend a lot of time here. Now that I’m home, I want to know who all is involved with my family.” She nodded, biting her lip a bit awkwardly. “I’m sorry. With everyone around I didn’t know how to say it, but… I am so, so sorry to hear what happened to your family.” 

He couldn’t help but tense slightly as she rested a hand on his arm, her lilac and pear scent flooding his senses. “Thank you, Feyre. They’d mention you every time I did come home, you know. Avy saw you like the sister she never had.”

“She was easier to get along with than my own at times."

Rhys hummed. “I’m not certain we’re still talking about the same princess."

She snorted, leaning her hip against the balcony railing. “A thought for a thought, Feyre darling?”

Her soft smile fell. “I’m thinking…” Her hand fell from his arm, dipping into that pocket where her crown rested since she left the river. “I’m thinking I don’t know how to do these things they expect of me. It’s been a long time since illness killed a mer ruler and—and even Nesta is too young to deal with this. I have—” 

She stopped, straightening herself in an instant. How many people had already told her not to show vulnerability around another leader? “Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?” she feigned, her tone a bit too sharp.

“Don’t start locking away what matters to wear a mask of strength.”

“You don’t know what your talking about.”

“Feyre—”

“There was an envoy sent to the surface this morning to bring the shipment routes to your attention. I know how important trade is above land, but the larger ships coming in over the areas damaged by—”

“Feyre.” 

She huffed a bit. “You haven’t been at this any longer than I have, so don’t tell me you know best. I’m trying—” 

“You’re trying to drive yourself straight into the ground.” 

She sucked in a sharp breath as his fingers curled around her wrist, his thumb just brushing her pulse point. When she drew that arm to her chest the movement lacked the certainty she seemed to possess before then. Oh, she felt something alright. “With all due respect, High Lord, I don’t think you know me well enough to decide what will drive me down.”

She turned to leave. “Forgive me.” She paused. “I’m only seventy-five, but I’ve already seen too many females ruined by politics.”

Her blue eyes flared with her temper again and he realized where his phrasing had put them. “How dare—”

“I do not insinuate you are incapable of leading,” he interrupted, undeniably backpedaling. “I warn you not to let yourself be off-kilter with your rising tasks. It would be a shame to see that vulnerability abused. To see you tread over by a male and his expectations in matrimony. Do not let someone make of you what traditionalists tried to make of my cousin and every female in her line before that.”

She was slightly flushed, caught somewhere between insulted, angry, and flat out affronted I’d be so bold in speaking of the fate her advisors may come to demand. After calming, she seemed merely perplexed. “Let’s just say, as long as your waters touch my land I want to be doing business with someone who uses the brain inside her head. Not whoever’s deemed your suitable match.”

He pushed down the feelings that reared up at the thought of her selecting another consort.

She settled back into her spot beside me. “Do your governors demand the same thing, Rhys? A pretty doll of a wife rather than your mate?”

Slowly—achingly slowly, her words registered, tumbling in his head five different ways. Their little fairy tale ending hadn’t snapped on her side, but she wanted it desperately. “It’s been suggested,” he admitted. “A marriage would be uplifting in a time of mourning, for Velaris and the other cities surrounding it. Honestly, I’ve been too preoccupied working against wing-clippings and the nonsense my father encouraged in the Hewn City to humor taking a wife. I too would prefer a bond to a wedding,” he confessed.

Before she could say her piece, Cassian stepped out onto the balcony, swaying slightly. “I’m headed out. Feyre, did you want me to fly you back to the docks?”

She bit her lip, nervous at the sight of him. “Cassian, are you even in any state to fly yourself home?”

“No, he isn’t and we don’t need any unnecessary damages, to people or property,” Rhys answered for his brother. “Take your room here for the night. I’ll get Feyre home.”

“Fine. Goodnight, you  two.” He leaned down to kiss Feyre’s cheek and a possessive snarl ripped out of Rhys, making them both freeze and causing Cassian to retreat, hands raised in surrender, even as a grin spread over his face. 

“I—Fuck.” This was not how he wanted Feyre to piece everything together. He told himself he’d be better than other males he’d seen when his time with his mate came, but it seemed he was no different. One more look to his brother and the smug Illyrian excused himself, no doubt going to crow to the rest of the family what had just happened.

“Feyre—”

“I’d really rather not have this conversation around such a nosy group, Rhys.”

He nodded stiffly. He trusted his family with his life and shared next to everything with them. Even if they all knew and loved Feyre already, this was… complicated. He was mated to a female incapable of surviving longterm on land. Without some rather tricky enchantments, breathing underwater is impossible for anyone other than water wraiths and mer. But he would make it work.

As long as she agreed. 

If she wanted this, they would make it work. “I know you aren’t a fan of flying, but I need to get you out of the ward radius before we can winnow down to the street. Or the townhouse if you’d prefer a quiet place to talk.”

“I think so,” she murmured, stepping closer as he stretched his wings. "I think the townhouse would be best, I mean.”

“Okay.” She braced quivering hands on his shoulders and he took that as permission to sweep her off the ground, launching into the air. As promised, he only took as long as it took to pass the wards before sweeping them into shadows and setting down in the townhouse. “So?” he ventured, settling into a chair built to accommodate his wings.

“So, Rhysand, I need to know this will be worth it.” 

He tensed. “Worth it?”

“You and your brothers have made yourselves a reputation. Even beneath the waves we hear such things.”

He clenched his jaw. “You think I’d be unfaithful to my mate?”

“I don’t know a thing about you, beyond common facts and gossip. And no matter how much I want a mate, I first want someone I know and trust.” 

He should have expected his boyhood fun to fall back on him. Hell, he’d bet good gold at least one of his brothers was straying from his own bed tonight, half-drunk or not. Slowly, he stood again, approaching Feyre. “From this day forward I will be true to you and only you. No matter the trials and complications. I swear it on my life.”

“Before Cassian came over… Before I realized…”

“I’m not so backwards in my thinking as some. You are not a possession. If you chose to walk away even now, I wouldn’t take that choice from you. If you’d prefer a husband of your own kind, I understand.”

“I won’t reject the bond over something so discriminatory.”

Relief flooded him. Despite the casual interaction between the merfolk and fae, he knew very little about mer laws and what precisely could be demanded of her marriage. While some would undoubtedly be skeptical of their union, no faerie was stupid enough to contradict a mating bond. When they were mated—their scents bound—there would be no push back. 

He took a step closer, reaching to trail a knuckle down the side of her face, tracing what remained of her silvery scales there. “Take the time to get to know me, Feyre. Then we’ll look at marriage and mating.” Her blush told him she had yet to consider the frenzy, no matter how well known it may be. 

“I’m five months from my next birthday,” she murmured.

“You’ll fall for me in three.”

“You’re too confident for your own good.”

He chuckled. “I realize you can’t stay on land for more than a few days.”

She shook her head slightly, starting to lean into his touch, much to his delight. “Not to mention my daily duties. I am a queen, you know.”

“In the evenings you’re available, allow me the time to court you on the surface. There are guest rooms here and in the Moonstone Palace. Of course you’re always welcome to my bed—” She swatted his shoulder. “Our courtship period will protect us from other arrangements, so long as there’s proof of it.”

“Alright. Five months of nightly courtship, Rhys.”

“It’s a deal, then.” 

She cursed him soundly as dark ink scrolled over her arm. Not that much could be done about it now.

~~~~~

Tag List: Reach out to be added or removed.

@shallyne // @s-uppertime // @the-lonelybarricade // @faeriequeensuriel // @reverie-tales // @pandavelaris // @goddess-aelin // @acourtofwips // @jealousveronya

#heavy rests the crown #hrtc #acotar fanfic #feysand fic #feysand #feyre archeron #rhysand #mermaid!feyre #merqueen feyre #young rhys #acotar #love indignant feyre #love simp rhys

[the-determined-sparks-au]

Cats of Thundergrowth: Rosetail

Name: Rose, Rosepaw, Rosetail

Identity: Cisgender Molly- She/her

Orientation: Aroromantic

Rank: Attendant

Former Rank(s): Warrior Apprentice, Warrior

A gray molly with her tail being covered with red scales. She has curled ears, like that of her Uncle Sheepear and her grandmother Squirrelwhisker and already she can feel the pains in her joints. Many suspect that she will soon retire from her position as Attendant, but not fully retire to the elders den. Many have seen her talking to Specklebee and whispers were heard about her taking lessons to become a Caretaker.

While a romantic at heart, Rosetail never felt the spark for herself. She gushed over her brother's, Thrushcloud, crush over Blizzardstorm but when thinking about a mate for herself she felt off. She tried to push it away, even as going as far as dating someone from the Hearth Coalition but realize that she felt no romantic attraction to her partner. Luckily for her, Calor, her partner understood, and they broke off on good terms and even kept in contact. When Rosetail had decied she wanted children he was the first cat she thought of and Calor was all for it. When Rosetail gave birth to five healthy kits, three of them went with their father, while she kept two, who she named, Flicker and Spotted.

Mentor: Kitespot (deceased)

Apprentice(s): Starlingthroat

Parents: Poppydawn (mother), Swirlflight (father)

Siblings: Thrushcloud, Voleclaw

Mate: Calor (seperated/good terms-Sire of kits)

Kits: Flickerpaw (Son), Spottedpaw (Daughter), Avis (Daughter), Cuprum (Son), Oriri (Son)

#warrior cats au #warrior cats rewrite #DS: Rosetail #character cards #Cats of Thundergrowth

[comfy-whumpee]

Love Lets Go

The Birdhouse has occasional group therapy. CN: BBU, alcohol.

@neuro-whump​, @rosesareviolentlyread​, @whumper-in-training​, @mylifeisonthebookshelf, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @whumpsday, @firewheeesky, @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question, @highwaywhump

“Let’s talk,” Miss Kaur said, “about what love is.”

Avis sat on the edge of the windowsill in the living room. Beside her on the loveseat were Florence and Kamala, inseparable as usual. On the left, in the armchair by the old fireplace, Boo curled up with no apparent interest in the conversation around them. Against the opposite wall was the doorway to the dining room, and the dining chair that Miss Kaur had brought in for herself. Finally, rounding out the ring, was the green sofa with Tenten and Roman at opposite ends, sat in their identical straight-backed, hands-folded pose that was a mark of their similar training.

Group conversations were a new thing. It wasn’t strictly therapy for them, but it was a way to open topics of discussion and build connections in the group, as well as a way for them to learn from each other. They were trying it out to see who benefitted, who got nothing from it, and whether anyone would react negatively. Avis was mainly hopeful that being present would help Boo, even if they still refused to respond to anything around them.

They had picked a broad theme for the first attempt. One relevant for all involved, as best they knew. After the question, there was a long pause. They all had ideas to think through before daring to say them aloud.

Avis waited in silence for Kamala to speak. It was always Kamala. She couldn’t stand awkward moments like this. Her smile was kind and gentle. “Love is a strong feeling of care for others,” she answered. Avis would have bet money that it was the definition listed in the dictionary in the study.

Kamala didn’t seem to know how obvious it was that she often recited answers that she thought were correct, rather than give her own feelings. She also didn’t seem to realise how impressive it was that she could remember so many passages word for word.

“Love is being inc-cc-cluded in things,” Tenten offered after another hesitation. Avis thought of his occasional presence at other people’s activities. If they needed a second participant, Tenten was always willing. Perhaps that was love, to him.

The silence dragged on. Miss Kaur eventually broke it, looking at the others. “Does anyone else have any initial ideas?”

Roman stared at his feet. Boo stared into space. Florence was the one who spoke. “Love is when someone looks after you.”

Better than expected, Avis thought with relief, relaxing slightly.

“Thank you for sharing, Florence. Would you like to contribute, Roman?”

Roman glanced up, startled. His voice was whisper-soft. “Love is wanting something even if you try not to.”

Avis watched as Miss Kaur absorbed that response, nothing but the slight pause before her reply to give it away. “Thank you, Roman. Could you tell me something you love?”

“Attention,” Roman answered promptly.

“Beauty,” Florence supplied, sensing that the question was coming to the rest of them.

“Making other people happy,” Kamala put in.

There was a pause. Florence looked at Tenten while everyone else pretended not to.

He shifted in his seat, only a slight turn of his hips to give away his discomfort even as he held still in the formal sitting pose, the rest of his tics vanished under his focus. “I love - this house,” he said, looking at Miss Kaur and nobody else. “It-t’s old and has winding hallways and exp-posed beams. Everyone gets their own room and they’re all, all different. It, it-t has a range in the kk-kitchen and a fireplace in here, so it’s always warm.” He stopped, hearing himself talk, and scratched his cheek. “I’ve been um, been wanting t-to say that for a while,” he admitted.

Miss Kaur was smiling. “Thank you, Tenten, for sharing that. I liked hearing your reasons.”

Tenten smiled back, pleased at the praise.

Then, the seconds began to pass again.

Roman was checked out, staring at the floor with distant eyes. Attention was decidedly not something Roman sought in the shelter, but perhaps he was different before. Or perhaps he was told that he was, and believed it now.

Florence was playing with the hem of their skirt, drawing repeated attention to their bare thighs through the slight movements of their hands. The question had brought something up for them, too. Beauty and its form were always difficult for them to parse.

Reliably, Kamala spoke up. “I like this house too, but people are more important to me. I’m happy if I can make someone else happy.” She gave a picture-perfect Platonic smile. “And I want everyone to be well, of course.”

“Can you give us your reason for that, Kamala?” Miss Kaur suggested.

Kamala froze, briefly, subtly. It wasn’t an answer she had prepared, it seemed. “Well, that’s - that’s obvious.”

Avis knew the line. Platonic caretakers find nothing more fulfilling than being the best partner to their owner, and answering their needs with diligence and perfectionism.

“If people are happy I can feel happy too. It’s nice to know you helped someone.”

Tenten nodded in agreement.

Boo sat on the armchair, looking between them all without a twitch of an expression to show their thoughts. But at least they seemed to be following the talk, now.

“What do we think about the idea of self-love?” Miss Kaur said, when it became clear that the group had nothing else to add. “Roman,” she called his attention back, “I’d like you to start. What is your view on self-love?”

“Um,” Roman said, eyes skittering away. He wasn’t fully present, still. Some thought was catching at him. “Self-love is when you love yourself?”

“Yes,” Miss Kaur agreed, despite the non-answer. “What might that look like, to love yourself?”

There was a significant silence.

“I’d like us to think about what Kamala said,” Miss Kaur suggested, steering the ship back on course again. “Kamala said, and forgive me for paraphrasing here Kamala, that she loves people, and she especially loves looking after people and helping them. When you said that, Kamala, were you including the people in this room?”

Earnestly, Kamala nodded.

“I’ve had conversations with some of you about seeing yourselves as people. We have worked on that knowledge, that to survive the pet industry doesn’t mean you are no longer people. This means we are, according to Kamala’s principles, deserving of love, help and kindness.” She glanced at the woman in question, who looked alarmed by being used as an example. “That includes Kamala herself.”

The clock in the kitchen was audible through the doorway. Nobody else even moved. It was difficult for them all to think through this barrier, especially when she tied it to ideas of worth and support.

“We all have an idea of love,” Sunita said quietly, with the warmth she felt for this group suffusing her tone. “What we lack, and this is common of most people, is the ability to apply that knowledge to ourselves. When we love ourselves, we learn how to treat ourselves fairly. We learn how to make compromises and how to assert boundaries. We negotiate all of those things with ourselves, and it’s not necessary for us to do that before bonding with others, but it is invaluable practice for forming sustainable relationships in the long-term.”

Kamala nodded, because she thought she was supposed to. Florence looked lost.

“Only you can be your worst enemy, and only you can be your best friend,” Sunita summarised. “Learn how you like to be treated. Then you can teach those around you. Let’s take a pause now for reflection. Take yourselves off to wherever you’d like to be, and think, write or talk aloud through your thoughts. We’ll come back in half an hour.”

-

Florence sat doodling shapes on a piece of paper they’d found, with a stubby pencil Avis left in the kitchen for writing the shopping list. They were drawing hearts, one of the few symbols they knew. Hearts meant love. It seemed relevant.

It was a strange conversation they were having today. Loving others was easy for Florence; they had been made to, and the way that their love had changed hands was important to them finding their place.

They were made to give, not to keep. But they wondered if they could.

Could you love yourself without being able to see yourself?

-

It was too far to go up to their room. They could have gone up, and nobody would have said anything, but if they missed too much therapy, Avis would get involved.

They stayed in the armchair, staring at the emptied room as if nothing about it had changed. Their voice was miles away at the best of times, but today it may as well be on another continent.

No matter what they learned from Sunita Kaur, they didn’t know how to live differently. They would only learn everything that they lacked.

-

Kamala waited patiently to be allowed back into the therapy room, iPad on her lap. She had a comic book open, but between pages, when she could sneak glances, she was trying to find some information about the therapeutic conversation they were having together. Normally, Mrs Sunita followed a treatment plan or template exercise that meant Kamala could find all she needed, given enough time.

Searching what is love led to nothing useful. It was too common a question. She read some articles, but they all seemed vague and at times, in disagreement about what it was.

Still, she knew from Mrs Kaur’s expression that she had said some things right. There had been approving looks, and she had used Kamala’s words to explain something. So she was doing well.

She could be good. Good pet, good friend, and good at therapy.

-

The bathroom was quiet and private. Tenten liked bathrooms. They were designed to be easy to clean, and they were the only place nobody ever raised eyebrows when you locked the door. He could spend as long as he liked inside, and people would only give him vague, concerned questions about whether he was okay, without prying into specifics.

He sat cross-legged on the floor, resting his wrists on his knees. He breathed. He was doing well today, only his hand twisting erratically, everything else loose and behaving itself.

Mrs Kaur was asking hard questions.

He let the thought walk by. It wasn’t his place to try and predict what would happen, nor to practice what he would say. His job was to read and respond. Find what they want and provide it with the appearance of effortlessness. Mrs Kaur wanted his honest thoughts, and he could provide.

-

An arm goes around his shoulders and he doesn’t move. Carved from stone, he thinks to himself, as the lights of the television flicker over them both in the dim light. He doesn’t like that Tyler is tipsy. It makes him nervous, remembering the Christmas party last year where he got in a drunken fight with Phil. They were friends again the next morning, but it was still unnerving.

He has to be carved from stone. Unflinching, unfeeling.

But Tyler doesn’t hurt him. He just sits there, smelling of sweat and alcohol, watching the screen. They’ve gone to commercial, but Roman can’t leave now. He can’t pull away.

On the screen, two men are buying a house together, talking to a nice, smiley representative from a bank so they can get a mortgage.

“Are you gay?” Tyler asks abruptly.

It’s only after he’s processed the question that Roman realises that’s what the men on the screen are meant to be. His heart sinks. “I don’t…know,” he admits after a moment.

“Yeah, of course you don’t. You wouldn’t know unless you tried being with a guy, right?” Tyler’s voice is casual, but something shifts underneath, and Roman swallows. “You don’t remember anything, you wouldn’t know.”

“No,” Roman affirms, between numb lips. Dread is climbing up his throat with claws.

“Would you want to know? I mean, it’s not like you’re gonna date. But it’s – interesting, to know, right? It’d be good to know.”

Tyler still won’t look at him. Roman looks at his lap, feeling like the arm around him gets heavier every second, every breath, every word out of Tyler’s beer-stained mouth. “I don’t mind,” he whispers.

“’Course not,” Tyler agrees, except he doesn’t sound like he’s listening. “You don’t mind. You wouldn’t mind. And you wouldn’t tell anyone.”

Roman opens his mouth to ask, tell anyone what?

-

“Half an hour is up, Florence.”

“Okay.”

They got up, leaving the scrap of paper behind. They returned to their seat, where Kamala had already returned on her own. Florence didn’t think Boo had moved.

Avis rapped on the bathroom door. “You ready, Tenten?”

“Yes, Avis.” The door opened. Neither of them commented on Tenten’s half-hour bathroom break. They both knew he’d needed the space.

With everyone else returned, Avis went looking in search of Roman, climbing the stairs. She had left him until last because she knew that, against her expectations, he had been hit the hardest by the conversation today. It would have, she hoped, a profound impact on everyone. But something had triggered for Roman, and she wasn’t yet sure what.

She didn’t find him in the bedroom. She checked the bathroom, and the music room. He wasn’t in any of them.

 She circled the floor to the big window, but he wasn’t in it. She climbed to the third floor.

 There, the library door was ajar.

 The Birdhouse’s library was a long room with a wider bottom half, taking a chunk out of the third bathroom, which could afford the loss. It was lined down one wall with huge shelves, each one containing multitudes. There was fiction and non-fiction, sci-fi, fantasy, realistic stories, mysteries and thrillers and crime, fairy tales, myths, legends, poetry and drama, illustration and photography, craft books, art books, comic books, cookbooks, books on gardening, DIY, health and wellness.

On smaller shelves around the room were the personalised collections: Kamala’s riot of colour for all her Marvel needs; Florence’s photo collections from places across the globe and their easy reading novels; Tenten’s recipe books and the two history texts he had shyly asked for. Boo didn’t have anything on their shelf, but Avis knew they used the library sometimes, when nobody else did.

 Roman was sitting in one of the eight armchairs scattered around the room. It was facing the window, but the curtains were closed from last night. He didn’t seem to be looking out of them.

 Perhaps, Avis thought as she sniffed the papery air, this room was the most like an office.

 She set herself down in the nearest armchair, nearly sinking into the plush fabric. “Hi, Roman.”

 “Hi, Avis,” he said, his voice barely audible.

 She sat for a minute, watching. He barely moved. He was sitting in the chair upright, feet on the floor, hands at his sides as though he’d forgotten to position them. His head was tilted down to place his gaze on the floor, but he wasn’t moving.

 “I like this room,” Avis ventured after it became clear he had nothing to say. “I think it’s lovely. Things can get hectic with the others around and all the things to do, but your reading time in the library is always special. Peaceful.”

 He didn’t unstick. She sensed that he wanted to, somewhere inside him he was straining to, but he wasn’t in control. He was being unobtrusive, that deadly word that both of her Help at Home rescues staked their lives on.

 She rested her arms on one side of the chair, making sure she was as close to his direct line of sight as she could be. “I’m getting the sense that you’re paralysed right now, Roman. That’s okay. It’s not unusual to get stuck sometimes, when someone is faced with something that they can’t handle. They adapt, or they suffer through it. Often, they suffer in the same way as they have suffered other things before.”

 Roman gave a slight nod, just enough to show he was paying attention. Was it genuine communication, or even a request for her to carry on? Or was it another trained motion? She wasn’t sure. He was still so new.

 “This is because your brain learns how to survive. That’s like its superpower, like Ms Marvel. Have you seen Kamala’s comics?”

 Another nod of five degrees.

 “Your brain adapts. It learns what was safe and got you through a hard situation, and when you’re put under stress again, it uses that same technique. Sometimes, that technique is freezing.”

 Sometimes, it was self-annihilation through service to others. Sometimes, it was emptying of thoughts and focusing only on sensory experiences free of trauma. Sometimes, it was becoming nothing at all.

 Sometimes, though, it was talking. Sometimes, it was Tenten gripping his elbows and trying to explain where his head had gone, so he could find his way back.

 Avis relaxed, reassured by the thought. If Tenten could do it, so could Roman. “Think about where you are, Roman. You’re in the library right now. You’re looking at the curtains. What colour are they?”

 His lips moved, almost soundlessly. “Purple.”

 “That’s right. A nice muted, dusky purple. What texture?”

 “C-coarse. Sturdy.”

 “Excellent. What about where you’re sitting?”

 He looked down. It seemed as though he hadn’t seen the chair before. “C-Cream.”

 Then his eyes went to her, and she waved. “Hi, Roman.”

 He exhaled. She wondered how long he’d been holding that one lungful of air. “Hi, Avis.”

 -

 Mrs Kaur nodded. “I’ll talk through it with him in private next time I see him. I expected there might be some difficult moments, but I didn’t foresee Roman reacting so strongly. It sounds like he needed some help to come out of his memories, but he was able to go about the rest of his day normally.”

 Avis felt tension drop away from her shoulders as Sunita laid it out so simply. “Yes. That’s true. How were the others after we left?”

 Her words were edged with concern, which Sunita politely pretended not to notice. “Oh, fine. Boo listened, the others talked. They weren’t quite able to express things about themselves just yet, but we had a good moment where they offered love to each other, and saw it reflected back. I think that’s a very positive start.”

 Avis chuckled softly to herself. “I can imagine. Kamala and Florence always have nice things to say about each other, and Tenten is nice about everyone.”

 Sunita smiled, the coy smile of someone who has a surprise to reveal. “It was more than that, actually. Florence wanted to talk about Boo.”

 Avis’s eyebrows rose.

 “Apparently, Boo helped them on a bad night some weeks ago. They needed company, and help getting food. Boo provided. Florence, by their own admission, loves very easily and very loyally… But there seems to be a connection there.”

 “That’s incredible.” Hope swelled in Avis’s chest as she tried to imagine Boo expressing feelings to Florence, even through pauses and movements. “That’s a big win from today,” she said.

 “Exactly.”

  -

 “And what is love?” Dr Cerasale asked.

 Her mouth hung open for a moment before she snapped it shut, folding her arms. Turn it back on her, would he? Typical. “Love is dedication, affection, patience and – and believing in them.”

 The therapist nodded. “And how might you describe your love for yourself?”

 Oh, doubly turning it back on her. He was good.

 Avis shrugged. “I don’t love myself or hate myself. I am myself. I just am. All my love is for my – rescues. And my son.” She cut him a look as he stopped before he could get the first syllable of his next question out. “Those are the most important people to me.”

 “Avis,” he said, almost warningly.

 “I know what you’re going to say. I didn’t replace my missing boy with them. I would have ended up here eventually, even if Florence hadn’t found me. I had to help. Even if I couldn’t help him. I know grief plays a part in it, but I won’t listen to you making it sound like grief is the only reason I’m doing such a good thing.”

 He didn’t interrupt when she paused, so she carried on.

 “Besides, no matter my reason, they’re getting help. I’m far from perfect, but I can give them resources and equip them for their new lives as free people.”

 “And how about when they fly the nest? How will you feel then?”

 Avis was about to say fine, but a sudden grief knocked her thoughts clean off track, and the word was lost. She took a breath and she felt herself circling the whirlpool. She fell still.

 Leaving the nest, letting them fly. Watching them soar. Seeing their plane disappear over the horizon, her baby leaving home for his first holiday without her.

 Kids left home to find themselves, not lose themselves.

 “I don’t know,” she said eventually. “We’ll see when the time comes.”

 Cerasale hummed and nodded. “When the time comes for them to leave, as they all will.”

 They might not, Avis thought to herself. Roman might not be able to cope with everyday living on his own. Tenten could always be vulnerable to exploitation. Kamala still recreated power dynamics that put her subservient to others. Boo was still mute. Florence was still barely literate.

 “How does it feel, to think about that?” he probed gently. “Your rescues leaving the sanctuary?”

 “Scary,” she said honestly. “Seeing them go. Not knowing what will happen to them, not being there if anything does.”

 “Do you think that is likely?”

 “Of course it is. Bad things happen to everyone, but ex-pets most of all. The survival rate in American shelters is horrifying.”

 “Permit my ignorance, but is the situation here comparable to that of the USA?”

 “Well, no. It’s better here, there aren’t WRU vans on every corner waiting to abduct them. They’re emancipated, they have distance, they have legal status. But it’s all in the data, and it’s bad. They’re gullible and overgenerous and don’t stand up for themselves. Letting them go isn’t just scary, it’s dangerous. Legitimately dangerous.”

 “But people do it. In the USA, as well as here. Do they not?”

 “Yeah. Yes, of course.” Avis frowns. “But my rescues are – the Birdhouse is for complex cases. Rescues who didn’t all want to be rescued, or rather, like, they wanted to be rescued but still want to be owned. Just in a different way. Rescues who wanted rescue, but wouldn’t have wanted it if their owners were different.”

 Cerasale nods, letting that sit for a moment. She’s stated her case. Her argument is pretty sound. But she knows he’s not just going to let that pass.

 “Again, correct me if I’m wrong. But I wonder if that description is accurate for all your rescues. You have often spoken, in admiration, of Tenten’s innate desire to be free. For example.”

 “Tenten would have stayed with his family if they hadn’t made him wear a collar.”

 He looks at her thoughtfully. She dodges his gaze.

 “For a while, anyway,” she mutters. She knows she’s not being fair, and guilt prickles at her for fibbing about Tenten to get her therapist off her back. “He wanted to try living independently. If he can’t, I don’t know what he’ll do.”

 “Think of Tenten,” he suggests. He’s gentle, but firm. “He won’t be the only one, but perhaps he is the one you can see most clearly right now. He has many life skills, he is interested in learning and growing, he participates in therapy, and he wants this.”

 She hugs her elbows, feeling chastised, the burn worse because she knows he’s right. She’s always known. Tenten will be the one who leaves first.

 “It will be a scary, bittersweet day. But ultimately a happy one.” He checks the clock on the table to the side, angled so she can’t read it. “We’re about ready to wrap up. I want to pick this back up next week. How are you feeling?”

 She thinks about it. It’s been a hell of a fucking week. They always are.

 “I miss my son,” she says.

#bbu #whump #my fic #recovery whump #pet whump #the birdhouse #avis #roman #tenten #boo #kamala #florence #flawed caretaker #therapy #comfort #guilt #conditioning #deconditioning #tyler #alcohol

[high-dragon-bait]

idk if you talked about this and obviously the birth was hard to the hip but how was hawkes pregnancy

Context if you don't know: My Hawke has a baby with Fenris about halfway through act 3 that Varric left out of the story for obvious reasons. The birth was very hard, almost lethal, but Anders managed to save both Hawke and the baby. yay!

(Note: I realize now I keep switching between "Hawke" and "Avis" throughout this. Avis is the name of my Hawke, it's the same character. Sorry for the confusion)

So, physically it was fine. I already make the birth so hard that it feels mean to give her a really hard pregnancy. She had some nausea at the beginning but even then not an excessive amount. I have yet to be pregnant but I have never heard a single person on god's green earth who has describe it as pleasant, but I do think her pregnancy itself was merciful (which probably made the birth being so rough even MORE of a surprise now that I think about it, since it had been "easy" so far)

SOCIALLY though it was a fucking circus

I imagine the kirkwall crew finds out first and finds out quickly. Then everyone tries as hard as POSSIBLE to keep it a secret from the rest of Kirkwall for as long as they can. There are a million reasons for this. The baby being elf-blooded, Hawke being wanted by about 100 people at any given moment, Meredith and Orsino being wildcards, simply not wanting all of Kirkwall on her doorstep anymore than they already are they try SO HARD to stave it off for as long as they can. I'd say, it works for about the first six months. Which is pretty impressive! Avis tries to keep up her activity (going out, taking jobs, etc.) and quietly peters it out over the course of about month four-five to not raise as much suspicion over suddenly stopping her public Champion Acts. No, Fenris does not enjoy this part but understands the practical aspects, even if he's Really Stressed the entire time

She also keeps going to the Hanged Man, as she's seen there so regularly her suddenly stopping would raise suspicion. She even orders drinks. She doesn't DRINK them, Varric or Isabela so kindly gets rid of the drink itself for her, but she ORDERS them. She always wore loose fitting clothes and coats, so hiding her belly is easier than she would've thought at first. Of course it can't last forever. And when it finally does become impossible to hide, exactly what they were putting off starts to happen. They're getting undue attention from the city, letters of "congratulations" (totally not bribes) from Meredith and Orsino, people coming to their door, constantly offering "gifts" or "services" for the baby. Poor Bartrand and Orana basically take shifts dealing with these people because it is non-stop

And. There is a little bit of interpersonal social drama, and by that I mean there is drama exclusively started by Anders. Anders is NOT pleased with this situation

Everyone else is happy, Hawke and Fenris are happy, but Anders is not. Anders had been vocally against the relationship from the start, but had quieted about it after it became clear his influence was not going to split Avis and Fenris up (again.) Eventually, he relaxed, not because he got anywhere close to accepting their relationship, but because he'd built a narrative in his head that one day Avis would realize Fenris didn't really love her. That Fenris can't love anyone. And when that day came he would be ready, and he would be ready no matter how long it takes.

Then, Avis falls pregnant, and he is the one who tells her. Because who else is she going to go to when she starts to suspect she's pregnant? We already went over how she doesn't want anyone outside her inner circle to know. So, she goes to Anders, and he discovers it and he is devastated

I have a whole scene written, but the gist is that Anders tries to convince her of that narrative he's built. Tries to tell her that Fenris does not love her, he's already left her once, he'll do it again. If she ties herself to him she'll only be causing herself so much pain. She doesn't believe him. And that leads to Anders blurting: "What about Kirkwall? What will the people say when their Champion gives birth to a bastard half-breed?"

And they both just go completely silent. Avis starts to leave, and Anders tries to say he's sorry, but she leaves. And they. Don't speak. For months

That's why Anders isn't there at the start of the birth. He's effectively been banned. No one expects him to be there, that includes him. So when Fenris comes to get him, panicked and desperate, Anders knows the situation is dire

And it's also that moment, seeing Fenris so terrified, and then afterwards so attending, so unguarded and soft around Avis and their baby... that Anders realizes he was wrong. It puts everything about his behavior into perspective. He's heartbroken. Beyond heartbroken. But it reconciles his and Avis' relationship, and even makes peace between him and Fenris. For awhile. Because then he destroys the Chantry, and because of that, he's not there to save Avis in the fade all those years later

That was longer than I intended but I am obsessed with everything having to do with this :)

#dragon age #my dragon age #fenhawke #pregnancy tw #birth cw