#bc if im not i might cry from how frustrated i am and how heavy my body feels and how sluggish my brain is and how slow my words are | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mrsackermannx · 2 months

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Thank you for your reply. You are really kind ily 🥹🥹

Pcos is really hard to deal with. It has fucked me up so bad. From facial hair to hyperpigmented private parts, it has given me everything. I'm so fucking insecure. It's hard not to be😭 I wanna look pretty. My doc gave me heavy meds I was nauseous the whole time I took the tablet. It was hell. Besides i had severse foodpipe ulcers. Now I'm off tablet. I'm just so much so worried about my hair only. I also had to have dandruff!!! Just my life ugh. I had hair down upto my knees. I had to cut it short as it got tangled all the time and it made extra hairloss. Im jsut 18. Haven't even joined university yet. Other girls are pretty ugh. Sorry I jsut ranted. I'm tempted to just shave my head at times. I cry every night lmao.

It is kinda good to know that I'm not alone (although I hope none of us have to grow through this) and thanks for the "don't"s 🫶🫶

Do you have any scalp washing tips btw?

If I touch my head, there's no hair..it's just touching my scalp directly lol bald me

BEAUTIFUL GIRL OF COURSE! I never want my pcos girlies to feel silenced???😚😚 first of all….Oh the facial hair has been kicking my ass since i was 15 and im 21 girl 😭😭 but i will say, at 19-20 it peaked for me, i hit rock bottom and i do think that the external stress of uni pushed it but i also thing it’s a genuine like canon event for us pcos girlies, i truly believe that until ur pcos really gets you down, you can’t rise up from it. i was the biggest id ever been, lost all my hair, facial hair was insane!!

i mean this in the best way, because I’ve been there girl, i still am there, i get laser on my face and neck, i wash my hair and like it gives me anxiety just washing my hair and seeing the loss, feeling the loss of density, like you i had hair down my back my whole life and i cut it over a year ago and now it has grown back thicker at least bc mine was all straggly at the worst point😭 i KNOW your pain.

BUT everybody always told me that the older i get it will level out and trust me it does!! and it did. im 21 and things have settled, we can only go through this process. i promise you, it gets better. my hair is still thinner but it shines and i put love into it!! i oil my scalp every time i wash it, I’ve been doing it for 8 months religiously.

and girl you are pretty!! i used to read the r/pcos thread a lot bc it made me feel less alone and like, i saw a post once venting about how hard it is having so much maintenance, to wake up and have to shave your face, to be conscious, to have to cover hair loss. that constant weight of having to get up and do all these steps that you feel other women don’t. i know the frustration, i have bumps and marks and body hair that makes me sob if I don’t shave it and then I look down in the shower and it hits me. but it’s also okay to pay for the things like laser or waxing, or learning how to wax etc, we have to manage in any way, we are allowed to prioritise and do things that make us feel beautiful bc we deserve it. we have to adapt rather than hoping it might just disappear, and we have to accept it🥺🩷

but diet is huge!! at least try and have a protein heavy breakfast!! 30g of protein is such an important aim, I promise that makes such a difference. definitely try not to have a lot of sugar in the morning. i only drink water or spearmint tea. matcha tea can be good bc it’s better then coffee, but I never drink caffeine because it’s so bad for us pcos girls especially on an empty stomach!! try and eat good fats!! and also integrating exercise!! and also MANAGE STRESS BABE I MEAN IT

but you are still beautiful, effortlessly and with your ways of coping. there is nothing wrong with us!! don’t be sorry for ranting at all, i also wanted to shave my head at the height of my weight loss i had a huge bald spot and it’s still kinda there 😭 i know this shit is REAL

but definitely check in with a doctor if you can get any advice/meds that could help, maybe a birth control pill could help you but again I don’t recommend that due to my own experiences bc it gave me severe acne, migraines and other things but tbf my hair was lucious😜, pcos is a lot of trial and error and seeing what might work for you.

as far as tips go!! look into Indian/arab/ayuverdic routines on TikTok/youtube!!! look up ways to massage your scalp!!!

here are my fave creators !!

@golabbeauty on tiktok for hair loss, hair oiling, diet, she has pcos herself!

@zoeantonia_ tiktok + instagram!! pcos positivity for facial hair, bloating, skin!! she also gives great diet and workout advice and she’s amazing!!

@mila.magnani on tiktok! pcos creator amazing!!!!!!

but i want you to know that you don’t have to start everything now, that you can eat something one creator says not to!! you will find your rhythm with this! steal, twist, tailor everything you hear and see creators doing !! whether it’s making your own mixture of oils for oiling or making some kind of nightly mock tail for your hormones you’ve found!! either way i believe in you and im always here <3333 educate yourself but don’t overwhelm yourself! time is your biggest ally, my heart goes out to you angel <3

#anon reply <3 #pcos advice #pcos #pcossupport

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diyeoracha · 3 years

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fanfic recommendations

for @kittensocute bc i heard “atsukita” and “iwaoi” in reference to fanfiction and i am There

i took your “i love slow burn or slow build fics... so i like relatively shorter burn fics (20-30k). If its a 10k oneshot slow burn hELL SIGN ME UP” and absolutely ran with it.

i listed my fav iwaoi fics (17) with a longer word count (longest is 80k) that are all mostly either canon compliant or divergent with only two straight up AUs. none of them feature heavy nsfw content and most if not all are tagged as friends to lovers lmao. feel free to read the my thoughts or just go into them blind!! and they’re all in order of how much I absolutely adore them :^)

now atsukita is not a big ship *sobs* but here are some of my favorite fics (7) of them! a lot of them are shorter bc i guess that’s just. what happens when it’s a small ship LOL.

the formatting in this is fucked if you open it from ur dash but if it’s on my actual blog it should be fine!

Iwaoi

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

thoughts: my absolute absolute absolute favorite iwaoi fic. the characterization, the fact that oikawa’s a bastard but because he and iwaizumi are older (late 20s i believe), it feels more realistic and sad rather than oikawa being a bitch for the sake of it. spoiler alert it’s slow burn and pining and mostly oikawa not realizing his feelings. this world building is pretty cool bc iwaizumi is the professional player while oikawa is an entomology professor! also i love non-linear narratives bc of This fic. there’s mutual pining in this fic but it’s really really really subtle to the point where you dont even know if oikawa likes iwa. this made me cry like twice.

sunset towns

Word count: 33k

Summary: In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

thoughts: the tone in this is So similar to the courtship ritual that I liken this as an alternate story even though it’s still oikawa’s pov. professional player oikawa and regular guy iwaizumi and oikawa is just. bumming around at iwaizumi’s place and naturally he messes up but things happen.

told before and told again

word count: 4k

thoughts: i looked through literally all the tags i could’ve thought of for this and nearly cried when i found it agian. outsider POV!!

In damp earth my body

Word count: 15k

Summary: Onscreen, the nation’s favorite setter has arranged himself so that he’s bowing, forehead pressed to the court, like he’s thanking everyone for their kindness thus far, like he’s asking for forgiveness. Hajime thinks: shit, it’s really happening

thoughts: oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and they blur the line between roommates/best friends and being fwb. this is an iwaizumi pov and the pining is obvious on his end. as a iwa stan the tone made me feel weird bc it makes it seem like iwa cares more abt oikawa than he cares abt himself but. its a good fic

i grew up, you grew down

word count: 19k

thoughts: this is also SO funny bc basically oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and becomes his stay at home wife and a bunch of shit happens like people think that oikawa is dating ushijima and oikawa basically loses it every time. here’s one of my favorite quotes:

“Oikawa also bought a new ultra-strength vacuum cleaner he’d decided to name Ushiwaka out of sheer spite, because it sucked all the air right out of the room. Iwa-chan didn’t think the joke was that funny when Tooru told him, which was frankly very hurtful and insensitive.”

Mint

Word count: 19k

thoughts: iwaizumi is moving and oikawa planned a perfect last hangout and it goes to shit featuring matsuhana. oikawa pov where he pines more than iwa which is something i can get behind!! and this was written in 2015 and iwa’s moving bc of a sports medicine program so iwaizumi stans know and love him sm ;;

Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

thoughts: same premise as mint LOL except they’re on a trip together and there’s more non-linear narrative!! this one is a little more mature in tone than mint i would say (funny how people just like splitting them up and throwing them in different countries huh)

with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Quote: He knows they’re too close. Iwaizumi knows it too, and they both decided to move in together anyway.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates and they’re both obviously and really pine-y for each other and everyone sees it but them. srsly. they’re sleeping in the same bed. like my god

Lost in Translation

Word count: 9k

Summary: Because misfortune come in threes, Iwaizumi Hajime starts his Thursday having a screaming fight with Shittykawa, spends his lunch break listening to the UCI women’s volleyball team gossiping about how Ushijima Wakatoshi had gone public about his longtime love affair with Oikawa Tooru, and closes out the day by drunkenly dropping his phone into a sewer grate.

thoughts: so funny. so sososoosso genuinely funny. the tone is so snappy and iwaizumi honestly just sounds like a confused teenager (which he is in this) and it gets extra points for including a lot of american culture that a lot of the other iwaoi college au ones don’t include for like. obvious reasons lol.

Something Borrowed

Word count: 16k

Summary: In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have always been a foregone conclusion to everyone else, but a massive, unanswered question to one another.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates thats abo but it’s like. mentioned twice. whiny and possessive oikawa makes an appearance in this but it’s done really well

things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he’s in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only for a little while.)

thoughts: high school getting together!! my second iwaoi fic ever and this one is just. so sweet. just an unsure oikawa realizing iwaizumi might be more than someone he wants as a best friend. this fic is honestly really really lovely.

galaxies, within you

Word count: 21k

Summary: Hajime and Tooru move in together at the start of university. Too bad they’re stuck with the two gremlins that haunt their apartment.

thoughts: ok this fic was so funny. theyre uni roommates and matsuhana just come fuck shit up and they all act like idiots together even though they go to different schools. and this really throws me back to university days.

Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count: 19k

thoughts: pro! oikawa and iwaizumi haven’t been close for a while until oikawa invites iwaizumi to go to the games with him. there’s a lot of frustration and pining and actually talking about feelings (aka iwaizumi losing his mind and getting advice from people like akaashi)

when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“ My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?” OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

thoughts: this was actually my first iwaoi fic which is funny bc the author doesn’t even like oikawa much and i didnt even ship anything in haikyuu before i read this fic and now im in iwaoi hell. oikawa is really frustrating in this in that it’s basically a really good character analysis on how oikawa comes off as a Mean person all the time bc he’s manipulative and there’s some explicit content

shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates with oikawa admitting his feelings first back when they were in middle school and iwaizumi putting that thought on the backburner until. obviously. things happen.

Desperado

word count: 80k

thoughts: one of my favorite aus. it’s all from kyoutani’s perspective and it’s almost so au that they’re original characters (if that makes sense). basically iwaoi matsuhana are ex-grifters except iwaoi are estranged and daishou somehow brings everyone back together. excellent world building and reading the pov from someone not involved with the iwaoi drama was refreshing

sing with me a song of conquest and fate

word count: 26k

thoughts: a mythical kings au that’s just. so pretty. iwaizumi ends up becoming oikawa’s servant for some reason and the world building is a+ because you can feel the trust and frustration from both of them build

Atsukita

dreams of me and you

word count: 10k (incomplete)

my second atsukita fic that rly sent me down atskt hell ;; what is essentially post-break up when atsumu gets signed to msby and he’s just Pining and sad for the most part. but the established relationship pre-break up was written really nicely because it just fits my hc of them just being domestic and atsumu being blatantly head over heels

take me home

word count: 4k

i read this this morning and it wrecked me. domestic relationship atsukita?? sign me up

No time like the rest of my life

word count: 19k

mythology au with kita as a regular person and rest of inarizaki as fox spirits! it’s cute and the world building is absolutely lovely but it is an au so they might seem ooc but their core character values are still there

wild blue yonder

word count: 6k

literally full of similes and metaphors and it’s more of an abstract read i guess? but it’s so beautiful and soft and this is exactly how i imagine their relationship

reap and sow

word count: 8k

atsumu confesses and kita ignores him and it’s a couple years after the fact and it’s mostly just weirdly domestic almost roommate like except for the fact that atsumu makes it clear he likes kita LOL. they’re really in character for this!

weightless souls

word count: 2k

pillow talk before atsumu’s first game! the atsumu pov and voice is amazing

if we were both alone

word count: 7k

now this was actually my first atskt fic that sent me down this rare pair hell. it’s an explicit chat fic (both tropes i usually try to avoid) but atsumu types like me (except for the nsfw parts alksfjd) so i guess i like. feel appreciation LMAO.

if you do read like any of these fics pls let me know so we can discuss

♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

#iwaoi #atsukita #i added some more on friday feb 19!

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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patton's asthma attack and finally agreeing to try therapy

content warnings: hurt/comfort, detailed description of asthma attack, very brief mention of past eating disorder, crying (i always hav that tho)

i copy pasted this from mine and livs discord convo so thats why it might be formatted weird and i swear a lot also if you see "hhh yeah" then thats liv commenting hshshsh

patton has had a cough the past few days because BASICALY since priscilla (remys cat) visited hes been more breathless with his asthma but he didnt tell anyone bc he doesnt want to worry them or make it so vee never get to see priscilla again if she cant visit anymore

so his asthma is acting up but he ignores it - and hes had asthma cough for a couple days (which is a sign of an incoming asthma attack) but again hes ignoring it, hes so used to brushing off symptoms he doesnt click what it means and he diesn ttake his inhaler when he needs it

WAAAHH oh fuck oh my god oh god wait fuck i just realised

the moment patton gets his asthma attack its saturday afternoon, roman is little and playing with logan and vee isnt quite little yet but fae's on faer way there, fae is very giggly and playful and patton says "okay babygirl, lets go get you changed!"

and when he gets up from the couch he takes a moment to cough and just stand still a sec bc he got suddenly dizzy but he pushed through it to not worry vee, and he actually usually lifts her onto his hip straight away, but this time he very subtly is like "okay hold daddys hand while we walk to the stairs"

so they get to the stairs and patton of course lifts vee up, and theyre only a few steps up when pattons breathing gets really heavy. it makes vee frown and look at him and say "daddy am i heavy?"

and patton smiles and shakes his head, because hes too breathless to speak. but he pushes through and hurries up as fast as possible

once theyre at the top of the stairs, patton is wheezing. his chest is rattling and whistling and he suddenly loses his smile and quickly hurries away from the stairs to place vee gently on the hallway floor, and as soon as vee is safe patton wobbily sinks to his knees and leans his head against the wall. his eyes shut tight trying so so hard to breath but its realy whistly now

and vee of course panics. "dady? papa are you okay??" and whimpers when patton doesnt react and clutches at his chest

and it throws her out of her semi regression. she jumps up and hurries downstairs, a little wobbily but ultimately fine. and she speints to where logan and riman are and yells "daddys h havin a panic attack!" and instantly starts crying

logan and roman were in the middle of a game and smiling and laughing but as SOON as they hear that they jump into action. logan runs out of the room to go to patton and roman grows up and runs to vee and lifts her up to shush her cries and calm her down - they dont even share a single look before they do this, they both just instinctively know what to do

and logan of course finds patton and realises its an asthma attack not a panic attack - he goes into his emergency like emotionless mode where he just gets the job done. he asks clearly where patton keeps his inhaler and patton just shakes his head. so logan alarmed asks "you dont have a reliever inhaler??" and patton winces and shakes his head again.

logan sprints to his room into his bedside drawer to find tthe inhaler he keeps for emergencies double checking it hasnt expired

he sits with his legs around patton, patton leaned back agains his torso, and puffs pattons inhaler for him and times the attack and the puffs (knowing that if it isnt better after ten puffs and fifteen minutes they have to call an ambulance) and using his own deep breaths against pats back to help him recalibrate his breathing

luckily it only lasts 8 and a half minutes and 8 puffs - but logan is so so shaken about the fact that that was very close to requiring medical assistance, he had his ohone out ready to dial 911

once pattons attack is over he's finally breathing, short and deep at first gasping in the oxygen, but within a few more minutes of sitting against logan it slows down and is much calmer. hes very shaky because the reliever inhaler does that to you, and weak from the tax on his body, so logan helps him up into their nearest bedroom (pattons)

at first he calls roman to swap places with him and watch over patton hust so logan can change vee into a diaper since she regressed from fear as soon as roman picked her up and obv he cant change her diaper

so roman sits with patton while logan does that and roman is actually really quiet and awkward and nervous, just looking wide eyed at patton and hugging himself.

and patton feels bad abt that and whispers "its okay little prince, daddys not hurt. im sorry for scaring you, honey" and roman just chews his lip and nods and looks down and they dont talk again until logan is back and roman goes out to take care of vee and logan comes in to lie with patton and rub his chest soothingly

logan is distressed and frustrated and shaken at that point but he knows not to have their conversation until the next day bc patton will be emotionally and physically exhausted

but the next day they have a serious talk - logans pretty ANGRY that patton was so ignorant of his wellbeing that he didnt refill his inhaler, patton brushes it off but logan says its a good thing he secretly kept one for patton (bc he almost suspected this might happen)

it rly hits patton when logan tells him if he had needed anymore puffs than he took they wouldve had to phone an ambulance - like patton not wanting to worry his family by admitting his asthma was acting up backfired way more and has made them worry even more because he had a full attack that could have gone so much worse

the whole conversation is VERY stern and serious even at the start when patton smiles and chuckles and jokes and brushes it off logan just gets frustrated and upset. logan is SO angry literally he is glaring at patton when patton brushes it off and makes jokes abt it and he snaps.

logan actually very seriously tells patton this is self harm and patton goes WHAT nonono no its not i dont know why youre getting so worked up

and logan fucking SNAPS like "Youre not giving your body what it needs to survive because you dont think your worth that!! you're neglecting your basic needs to the point of needing urgent medical care, doesnt that sound familiar??? doesnt that sound like something we've both been through before???" clearly referencing his eating disorder

and pattons eyes go wide and he profusely apologises hes like im so sorry oh my gosh logan honey im sorry did i trigger you im sorry and logans just like STOP APOLOGISING this isnt about me its about you!

and he sso angry bc he thought they trusted each other but the fact that patton didnt tell him when he literally couldnt breathe is so scary to logan

but that is basically an argument bc logan was so fucking worried and devastated that patton has ignored his health to such an extent and vee gets nervous bc both her and roman can hear them yelling and she thinks the cgs will breakup bc they "had a fight"

but once theyre finished talking and vee shakily asks if theyre not gonna be a family anymore they'll of course comfort faer and talk abt it, its not a fight its a disagreement and mummys and daddys have those sometimes. theyre still a family and they still love each other very very much. they all soend their family day together as usual, though patton isnt as able to get up and play with roman understandably

also the fact this all comes around the same week patton and logan tell vee that janus wants to babysit, thats why patton has been absent from the blog recently i guess bc hes been keeping busy trying to work through his feelings of janus wanting to come in

hhh yeah... the way it lines up to patton's other insecurities abt janus coming into the family and it all just piles on too much all at once

so on monday morning logan goes with patton to get more inhalers and they actually stay out for while like they go to a forest or smth just to be alone and help patton recenter a little - he's always loved being in nature, it really brings him a lot of peace, being in nature is really the best way to keep patton grounded from his dissociation, thats why hes always gardening

and logan doesnt want to be angry at him and he knows patton needs support and comfort atm even is patton doesnt think he does so they have a calm day just being together and logan trying to remind patton that hes there for him

HHH stop bc they YEAH bc they kinda had a fight even though it did get 'resolved' but they needed to take time to reconnect their energies and like show each other (and specifically logan show patton) that their love is still secure and their friendship is still strong - just the quiet care of logan taking patton somewhere they can just be alone without responsibilities

secretly patton was rlly upset that logan got angry with him but he didnt show it but logan KNOWS him and he knows he needs to fix it with queality time (pats love lang) because pattons been alone a lot recently, its just been that he keeps busy and accidentaly distanced himself bc the others would all be busy and hanging out in some way and he fet a bit abandoned but yeah logan is dedicating the whole day to him

and patton does end up talking abt his inner turmoil a little but not until theyre like in the middle of the forest and hes a lot calmer and theres no one around, he just feels so much calmer and safer in nature to open up like that.

and this is when patton tells logan about his worries about janus becoming closer to vee, and how its lovely for them but what if it hurts vee, what if they dont get along, what if they DO get along and vee wants to move back with janus. Logan doesnt say anything to the worries, he knows patton just needs to blurt them out while he can, while it mixes with the sounds of nature.

then patton mentions quietly that dr picani phoned him a couple weeks ago and told him that he would like to offer patton a trial session of therapy - not with vee, just patton. logan very calmly asks if that sounds like sometnging that might be helpful for patton and patton just giggles nervously "um i dont know. Vee has therapy"

logan frowns. "yes she does. but that doesnt mean you cant have it too, if you would like it"

patton goes quiet and looks anxious, scratching at the moss on the log theyve sat down on. so logan takes his hand and looks very earnestly at him and says gently "i would like you to at least accept the trial session. It is your decision but... i think it might be worth a try"

patton nods a little, just looking at their intertwined fingers. and after a long silence where they can just hear the birds tweeting and the wind rustling the leaves and small animals scurrying along the grass, patton finally looks up at logan and breathes "i'll go to therapy"

and when patton says that out loud suddenly his eyes well up and he sees logan smile at him - a little sad and a lot proud - and feels his hand squeeze and the tears just dont stop coming and he hides his eyes but laughs nervously like haha dont know why im crying this is so silly! but logan doesnt say anything to it, he just pulls patton into his side and rests his head on pattons head...

and patton keeps trying to laugh and joke but its so choked and sad and nervous and wet and logan wraps his other arm around patton too and just grntly whispers "pumpkin, its okay if youre not happy right now."

and patton just starts sobbing into logans shoulder and logan holds him so tight as they sit on the log

patton cant cope with silence when its about him yknow, he couldnt handle logan not laughing or tutting at his jokes so he just kept joking until logan insisted its ok to be sad

so once they get home logan sits with pstton while he phones dr picani and books his first solo therapy session for friday morning

#papa patton #asthma attack tw #do not reblog #little big after dark concepts

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hobiwonder · 5 years

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imagine dealing with low libido jungkook bc he's been stressed about exams or smth. smut and very bad crack ahead skzjsksjsk

"for the billionth time, i don't have erectile dysfuntion disorder y/n!" jungkook is pinching the bridge of his nose with a sigh that sounds like he got done doing manual labour. He was so dramatic you almost wanted to twist his nipples. Hm, that might actually help.

"stop looking at me like that you weirdo." he really is looking at you like you're a weirdo when you're just trying to help your bf get a hard on for you. Esp now that you're sitting in his lap without a bra and only a sweater. though he cant tell you're braless. yet.

"are you in to nipple twisting? wait let me try." you're struggling with your cute but not hard at all bf who's fighting you like a baby, swatting his hands at you like you're a fly.

"oh my god. stop! im just tickl- y/n. fuck!" your eyes widen at his exclaimation but lips form a pout when he glares at you.

"that was not sexy. at all. that fucking hurt."

"hey im just trying to help get you a stiffy."

"you did not just say that. i think my dick shrank a few inches." you weren't mad about it if that was the case. his dick needed a bit of shrinking. it was way too big for your poor vagina.

"hey don't pretend to be all hot shit. you used to get hard whenever i said 'tits'. Remember?"

"i might if you show them to me." his greasy smirk should put you off but it only makes you wetter. god damn it. he was too hot even if his dick wasn't feeling it. you tried not to let it get to you especially when he reassured you that it's just stress. But surely your boobs ought to undo his tightly wounded nerves? right?

you didn't want to find out somehow. so you'd resorted to other means to unwound him.

"yeah but tell me," you push him back further against the headboard so he's resting comfortably and not like he's about to pounce on someone like a neandrathal with their fight or flight instincts hightened. he really needed to chill. "how do your balls feel?? heavy?? are you feeling hot all over or getting random hot flushes during the day when you're in class?"

"that makes it sound like i have some chronic illness babe. but no... no tight balls here." he's sighing again. probably just as frustrated. "i'm just stressed 's all." he's shrugging nonchalantly as he rubs your arms in an attempt to sooth your defeated face that looks like a puppy that's been kicked.

"baby," jungkook slips his hands underneath yoir sweat, swearinf under his breath when he finds your breasts bare and rolls the stiff peaks of your nipples gently, "i know you're trying to help and all by feeding me all those pistachio nuts. yeah i know what you're trying to do you little minx."

you would retort. you would. because how dare he be so smug for a guy who cant pop one out for their gf!! but you're too busy trying not to let your eyes roll to the back of your head - instead just moaning gently, breathlessly - as he keeps pinching and gropping your breasts.

"i-im just trying to-ohh," you lose your train of thought for a few seconds there before pushing your chest in his hands again as he watches it rapidly rise up and down. "t-trying to increase your libido you little twink!"

"by feeding me all those nuts?" his eyebrow raise makes it seem like he's scolding you. but it's all in good fun.

"d-duh. so you can feed me your nut. get it?"

your dazed smile is too proud for the dumb joke you've just made but god damn, jungkook wants to kiss the hell out of his goofy girlfriend that he loves more than a good fuck. hm. thats a close second especially if it's with you.

"yes. i get it you little nerd." he's smiling ear to ear and you're leaning forward to kiss his pretty mouth when he imterrupts with a whisper. "can i?"

you're nervous but trying not to show it. it's not like it's the first time he'll be seeing you but there is something nervewracking about being bare infront of him when there is a possibility that maybe it is you. That it's not the stress and just you and your body that just doesnt do it for him anymore. you're not dumb nor oblivious. your boyfriend is too gorgeous for him to not know that fact either and think about what's out there he's missing by being a one woman man.

"hey... you okay? what's the matter?" god bless his sweet, ardent face that's still concerned about you as his hands cup your face lovingly. eyes forcing yours to not stray from his. how were you supposed to not be honest to that face. ugh.

"i just... i don't want to be rejected by the jungcock. i don't think i can handle finding out you find me gross since i gained all this weight."

the worry is still there in his eyes but now a lot wattered down becausw of your word vomit and exceptional ability to make everything less serious with your obnoxious rambling.

"i cannot believe you've named my dick let alone named it 'jungcock'." his eyes are rolling again but his hands have slid down again to the hem of your sweater while his lips fall to your arching neck.

"you are not gross to me silly girl. In fact i think you're the only one who can get me hard by just being funny." his hands have slid furyher down to your hips and in your worry about jungkook finding you unattractive you forgotten what position you both were in. A position that should've made it so much easier for you to feel the hardening length beneath you, pushing up against your damp panties. holy fuck.

"you're hard again oh my god." your dumbass self actually pushes her body up to look down and inspect if his erection is actually real or not while jungkook just rests his back against the headboard to let you have at it. looking up like he's waiting for you to do your thing and not bothering with asking you what you're on about anymore.

"yes. who would've known your unfiltered rambling could get me going than any type of aphrodisiac or porn." jungkook has a shit eating grin on his face but it's his sarcastic tone that has yoir hand squeezing him. and not to make him feel good.

"i was trying to help your noodle, you noodle!" jungkook is muttering under his breath again about shrivelling up at your nickname for his cock.

"but seriously... admit it. it was the pistachios right?? they had you feeling tingling in your dingaling? right?" your face is almost mashed in to his own as you try to have him confess. his bitchass needs to confess that your little trick worked!!

"i am going to literally ignore all of that. so if you can lean back and let me have a look at your tits before my dick shrinks for real, that would be great thank you." he said it like he was ordering food. what the fuck. the nerve of this boy-

"you're so rude. im the one who's not even wet anymore bwcausw of this disrespect." he's hust humming along as he pulls your sweater off finally; tits jiggling slightly as the garment is lifted and so is jungkook's cock. The length just seems to grow ans grow and grow until it feels like he's pushing it in you on purpose. When he leans down to campture a nipple in his hot mouth you cant help but keen as his cock pushes in to a little more. nudging the button of your clit enough to have you arching your back and gushing in your panties.

"sure about that babe? i can feel your hot juices leaking on to my cock. naughty girl."

"it's-... i-its rude to talk with your mouth full." and full it was. with your nipples. he was lickinf and sucking the peaks gently enough to have you writhing on his stiff cock. each swipe of his tongue was laving your tits in his saliva making a mess of you. jungkook liked messy.

"you're going to teach me manners are you now? i might learn if you grind those hips nice and slow on me babe. It's been so long. i need you to show me how badly you've waited for this." he's groping his own genitals heavily as he says 'this' and then pushing your hips down hard on to him making you mewl. you could feel every ridge, every curve of his hot cock searing through ypur sodden panties and god oh god. fucking hell you were so thankful he was able to relax enough to do this. you missed him so much and right now you felt like you were going to die without an orgasm. sure you came plenty of times by yourself. but it was jungkook who you really craved.

"i l-love you jungkook. so much. i d-dont care if you never get hard again after this i j-just- of fuck. I just want you to know i l-love you. i'll buy a s-sex toy or something. o-or get a m-mold of your dick. Oh god." you're crying out like you're about to start sobbing. and jungkook is trying to muffle his laughter by pushing more of your boobs in his mouth.

"babe. i love you too. so much. dont worry about that right now. Just cum for me okay? cum on me. i want your scent all over me."

he's pulling he crotch of your panties aside so your naked cunt can drag all over the thick bulge in his jeans. Just a few more grinds of your clit over his fat erection and you're rubbing your sticky cum all over his jeans.

"that's it baby. let it go. You deserve everything from me and more. i'm going to fuck this pussy so good now. mhm. keep going." he's watchinf between the two of you where you're still dragging your twitching pussy, tears streaming down your face as his hands help you move over him. when you're wincing from the sensitivity; jungkook is flipping you over to lay you down beneath him. he looks like a fucking porn star - hotter even - undoing his belt as he watches you dazed and crazed from just grinding on him.

"ready for me to 'nut' in you?"

you're laughing uglily and know you fucking love jeon jungkook.

a/n: this got too sappy dixjissksjs thoughts??

#jungkook drabble #yoooooooooo i had this idea out of nowhere

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bts-ficrecs · 4 years

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ARRANGED IS SO GOOD !!! I was so into it that even I was mad at Hobi for the first couple chapters because the situation was so frustrating and the two of them don’t understand each other, but then chapter four? A game changer! It made me squeal by the end (even though I really didn’t want the OC to start having feelings again because he doesn’t reciprocate and she’s just going to end up being hurt again) 😣

UGH!!!! Hobi is someone u just can't hate despite how badly you want to!!!😭😭😭 i read a comment saying how he doesn't really love roa bc he didn't choose her over his job but like,,, y'all don't understand!!! It's not fair of y'all to do that to him!! It's not only his life he'd be throwing away! His family, the company employees, the investors... everything hung on his shoulders. And yeah in a perfect world he would have been completely selfish and chosen Roa and lived that fantasy life with her but he's a grown man who understands the consequences of life. But these people also have to understand Roa never made her feelings known. Yes men r simple and oblivious creatures. He might have had a sense but y'all... I'm sure if he knew for certain that Roa loved him and wanted him as badly as he wanted her he would have dropped everything. I am so certain of it. And so was Roa. She knew he would have left everything to be with her. And god how tempting it was... but she didn't do it. So you guys can't fault this all on Hoseok. You can't. She sacrificed her happiness too.

He'll never stop loving Roa that I'm certain. Like yeah hobi and yn are end game obvs but you never really stop loving someone like that yknow? It'll be interesting to see how obi ends the chapter on hoseoks and roas love life that never got to blossom cause u best believe imma b cryin over dat 4 long time.

Also like he was a major dickwad to y/n but wouldn't you be too??? If you had to marry someone you didn't know when there was already someone else you loved and wanted to marry???? I'd hate that person for stealing my happiness away - even though technically they didn't even want it either. :((((( seeing them would be a constant reminder that the one you married isn't who your heart yearns for. It sucks man. And to know that you'll be seeing them often at parties or gatherings and having to pretend nothing's wrong???. Dang I'd b crying every time i see my love.

they're all bad guys in each other's eyes bc they're all hurting and wanting someone to blame and like can roa and yn just run away together and b bffs 4 lyf bc theyre both so strong and selfless and they doNT ACT LIKE ANIMALS TO EACH OTHER OHMYGOD the maturity that radiates off of them!!! Like yes they both don't like each other, duh, but they also understand how the other may be feeling and they can't bring themselves to hate each other like Damn y'all. That takes a lot of strength. In an alternate universe I'd like to believe they're both not into the sameman and do become friends bc they're both so likable ugh.

And i love that roa isn't a character we can hate easily. I love that she is so greatly developed as a character and wow i am writing an essay in response to your ask LMAO but i can't help it!!! It's fresh on my mind and i love it to pieces.

Also. THEY'RE GONNA B SLEEPING ON ONE BED TOGETHER SOON. ON GOD. IM GONNA D WORD. YN IS PROBABLY GONNA TOO. Also hobi is just so...... infuriating but also so endearing like bby.....i can't wait for your character development LMAO. JOKES ON HIM. HE'S BEEN CAST AS THE LEAD FROM DAY 1. HAH.

Also @ ur last comment. I felt that. Obi does a great job at mixing in amazing humor with the angst so that it isn't ssooo heavy and sad lmao but it's still there and I'm guna b so sad bc i love yn so much i forget who said it but like yes ok we know she's not a damsel in distress (i mean technically yeah she is loolll) nor is she weak but i just.... wanna protecc her 4 lyf u feel me????🥺🥺🥺 she deserves all the gud in the worl ok????

#arranged #anon #g replies

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tayegi · 5 years

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Lu new rules is always worth the wait. I love it when the OC stood up to him. And Jungkook being whatever he’s trying to do is leaving us in suspense. But last the scene is perfect. I can picture that scene as if I was watching a drama. Especially when she say “it’ll be easy getting over you” and turn around VERY slowly. Gosh I just want to cry cause it’s beautifully written. JK probably scare that he’s not good enough for her?JEON JUNGKOOK you get on my nerves but I still love him.

jjiritjjiritgirl said:ohmygod the new chapter for new rules is so good ohmygod like i had to pause a lot when oc was calling jungkook out for being a coward. i wasnt the one going off but DAMN that felt good.

luxinfired said:OH SHIT I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THE NR UPDATE KXJABGZGQGHS Girl your writing is the best thing in the world! I love OC, she showed us her vulnerable side but then she goes and confronts Jungkook like that! That last scene was amazing, you tell them girl! Also I loved the conversation with Yoongi, I'm glad she was able to empathize with him immediately. I really want Yerin and him to find their own happiness, they deserve it~ Thank you for this wonderful piece of writing 💜

Anonymous said:jungkook a whole ass idiot

Anonymous said:Hi Lu!! U probably ddnt receive my ask from last time as well so Im writing this again! Well I just want to tell you that NR.11 WAS FUCKING AMAZING AND I'M SO SATISFIED WITH IT AND I CRIED! at first I expected OC to just yell at JK for his reaction when she confessed, thn have him tell her his story BUT SHIT SEEM SO DEEP HOLY SHIT! I feel so bad for oc and for the fact that she felt the need to say sorry? Thats kinda fucked up but I believe that's bc she was pretty shocked by his reaction[1–❄️🐰

Anonymous said:Also maybe I'm not the only one hatin' on JK, but damn boi better have a GOOD excuse to why the fuck is he being a pain in the ass, I mean.. I don't wanna judge him for his choices, but thats exactly what I wanna do BYE/ but like im pretty sure that he's been acting like a jerk to 'help OC get rid of her cancerous feelings' cuz I dnt think that he sees HER as a prob-in fact, he actually rly likes her- but he just cnt seem to accept her feelings that's so absurd.. [2—❄️🐰

Anonymous said:Like he was so happy to see her when he was with his team but once he remembered that he was supposed to ignore her he acted like he ddnt want to see her. And I really dnt know which part was he so embarrassed about when she came in calling him out in his own frat; was it bc she exposed his whipped ass in front of his we-dnt-do-feelings™ buddies? Or was it bc of sth else AMMA FUCKING SNAP! [3—❄️🐰

Anonymous said:And I really think that when OC told him that it's gonna be so easy to get over him now that he showed his true colors, like, I really think that it was a slap to his face. Cuz deep down, I dnt think he wants her to get over him and I know that shit will go down from here when the entire frat is mocking OC's speech, JM will know abt it, MJ might hear from him too AND HOPEFULLY SHE CAN KICK THE BULLSHIT OUT OF JK ONCE MORE! gosh Lu thank u so much for this amazing fic💕 u make my days😭[4/4]—❄️🐰

Anonymous said:holy mother of god wOW emphasis on the OW NR11 !!! Lu my god, idk how you've gotten me to love getting stabbed in the heart like this but !!! :,( thank you so much for updating and incorporating toxic masculinity and gaslighting into this chapter, they're such important issues and i just wish OC didn't have to deal with their effects. idk how long you're planning on making NR, all i hope for is that someone will treat OC right by the end *side-eyes JK, whispers "get it together, fool"*

Anonymous said:Thank you so much for yet another amazing chapter of NR!! I love how you write with so much detail about the thoughts of the OC when jk rejects her. For me, it heightens the emotions of the story so much and i love that I can feel what the OC feels - the initial embarrassment, the sadness, the anger. I also loved how the OC confronted JK and didn’t just dismiss her own emotions, acknowledging that they’re just as valid as JKs. Thank!!! You!!! :)

Anonymous said:hi lu! just wanted to day i love nr and that i appreciate the messages that you put in your writing. especially with the latest chapter, i relate so much to what nr yoongi is going through, and seeing that was a wonderful reminder that im not alone in this situation and that when you reach out, people will support you. again, thank you so much for writing and sharing these stories with us and i hope that you yourself have an amazing group of people who support and love you 💚💜

Anonymous said:I feel like waste it on me fits as bg music to the situation JK and OC are in after her confession in NR lol.. but anyways, just finished reading the latest chapter and wow. So many emotions. I'm so glad OC finally confronted JK, i love her fiery personality! Your writing really has me immersed in my own little bubble as I put myself in OC's shoes. Looking forward to the rest when the time comes, i'm curious to find out JK's backstory. Great work, Lu! 💕

Anonymous said:Ahh I just finished the update and its so heart wrenching. The emotions were so raw and realistic. And as hard as it was to read the pain the OC had to go through, I'm excited that either way things are moving in a new direction. She can't keep suppressing her feelings forever. Admitting feelings can be so difficult but afterwards its so freeing knowing that you're not holding anything back and being honest with yourself. I'm looking forward to the growth this will bring all of the characters.

Anonymous said:I just caught up to new rules and wow as someone who experienced a heartbreak that I never want to go through again THAT SHIT HURTED I felt the emotions of the o/c yelling at jungkook out of frustration and anger highkey wish I could’ve confronted the person that I had a relationship with in that manner yk to get it out of the system I think that way the healing is a faster process because you aren’t having an internal dialogue of what you could’ve said etc wow thank you for writing new rules! x

Anonymous said:I love the new NR chapter! It definitely hit home when you described how the OC felt after she got rejected. I love the end in this chapter. I love the OC's confrontation. I wish I could be a woman on a mission like her too. Yoongi's character got me namshooketh btw. I love how you added the lgbtq aspect into this fic. Everything about it is so realistic. And I love the gaslighting part in her confrontation so much! This is such a beautifully written fanfic. 😭❤

bekzzz said:You know what I really appreciate about New Rules. Mijoo and the Readers friendship. I love how they stuck together after everything. I also love how the reader is trying to reclaim her self esteem. I think calling Jungkook out was amazing for her. Also, maybe for him it will help him figure out his own feelings. Love is okay, being romantic is okay. It doesn't diminish masculinity or make someone weak. Thanks for this amazing update! Till next time.

Anonymous said:holy moly, new rules was eventful. i felt so much secondhand embarrassment when she was *rejected* by jk, and really hated nr jk for how he reacted... and then when oc, yerin and mijoo were together, and she felt like she needed to be the strong one. i really fucking felt that. it felt like a punch to the gut. but oc’s comments to jk really got me, and i have so much respect for her, yet pity her at the same time... as well as jk. thank you for the amazing update!! 😘 ly babe

Anonymous said:Dear god my heart was pounding all throughout that chapter lmao. How the heck you gotta get me so involved my body freaks out whenever you update New Rules? For real tho I feel for Yoongi- I know what it's like to have people be ready to ridicule and drop you for something you can't change about yourself, so that got me real good. I do hope that JK and MC are able to work themselves out they are by far one of the most interesting pairings I've read about thus far (praying for a happy ending)

Anonymous said:HOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS! Girl, you threw me for a loop. JK's reaction was pretty close to what I thought it would be, albeit more hostile which makes me so fucking curious like BABY WHO HURT YOU?!?!?! Yoongi turning Yerin down because he's gay just wow. I had zero inclination until the second he said it and the whole conversation was just gorgeous. And that final stomp into the frat house and speech were just glorious. Thank you my love

Anonymous said:first of all i want to thank you for the new chapter, it was such a surprise since you was so busy these past months so thank you for taking some time to write. now about the new chapter... my heart was beating so fucking fast the whole time, it’s amazing how well you’re able to express the feelings of the characters and make us all (well at least me) fell connected to the story. i’ve said this before, but the most amazing thing about nr (beside the plot & characters) is how relatable it is

Anonymous said:🎃(1) OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO CUTE AND AT SOME POINTS I AM not making any sense so be prepared 😥 💜💜 I hope I don't bore you /// Ok, here we go. ( /// means another scene or change of subject and --- means same scene but next line. Also I'll use the 🎃 emoji for Halloween's sake 😊) Damn that's gonna be so long 😥 oh well. /// Akakakakak first of all, great start! It lights up the heavy mood. And tbh who wouldn't get distracted from a half naked jk. 😏 ///

Anonymous said:🎃(2)Akskfhlskfajfkf I'm smiling. My heart is clenched tho. (I'm reading the kiss scene in the beginning) /// Why do I feel him saying I like you too won't be the way our oc means. My heart is confused. --- Fuck. --- Fuuuck... ///Ok, there's no way he would look at her with disgust. Come on giiirl. Don't fall for the lies our brain tells us. ---Ok, scratch that last. WHAT THE FUCK JEON JUNGKOOK. 😬 ----I wanna hug the oc and tell her that he is afraid and stupid for acting that way.

Anonymous said:🎃(3) That she is more than what she thinks. And like wtf he might be a star athlete and a stund but wtf about not being good enough?! Askfkddskkas. fuuck. //// You are not supposed to be fucking anything. Let it ouuut. They love you and it will help.--- Ok I get the point with it not being about you. (Ahahahahaha I'm on a roller coaster, sawrryyy) ---- Oh yaaaasss, I liiive for angry oc! You go guurl! ---- Well, if he is gay that would explain a lot. --

Anonymous said:🎃(4) ---"Trust me when I say that it would be entirely impossible with me" bruh. He is gay. --- Oh shit, he is gay...... 😶 ---- Now I'm sad. Ahahah and now I wanna hug him too . And I love the oc for being a good friend and I love that he reminds me of one of my closest friends being a tsundere.😢 /// Way to go yoongles, woop woop!! that sonofabiish. 🌚🌚---Wow when yoongi relaxed I realised I was holding my breath. Wtf ahahaha

Anonymous said:🎃(5) /// Aish. I'm getting angry at jk and angry at the oc for taking his bullshit and not being angry ahahah. ----- WHAT THE FUCK JEON KUNGKOOK WHY YOU BEING SO "TOUGH" AND "MANLY" YOU FUCKIN FUCKER 👿 (about him smiling at first and then being fake macho) ----- My eyes grew when you wrote she headed to jk frathouse 👀 --- I'm crossing my fingers for a buttkicking session, sth like mijoo did to the oc. Maybe a power point presentation of why he likes her too. Ahahah ---

Anonymous said:Ooo girl I am FIRED UP. You write so well that I can always fell the emotions OC feels. I was sad and hurt, shocked, and really mad. JK is such an asshole for making OC feel like her feelings weren't valid. He really does need to grow up. Good on OC for realizing that. And I don't know why he's putting up such a front when he's been such a good person thus far but BITCH IT BEST BE A GOOD REASON. So I'm assuming yerin has got the bad ending? Bc she doesn't know about yoongi being gay n shes hurt?

Anonymous said:(1/3🧟‍♂️) New Rules is probably my favorite non-published work that I’ve ever read and I really just want to thank you for being willing to share your writing with us! So, I feel like a lot went down in this chapter. I saw another anon say they thought Jk’s issues stemmed from a previous relationship. The girl probably made him feel like relationships in general are toxic, and as a result he’s completely unwilling to put himself in that kind of vulnerable position again? (1/3)

Anonymous said:(2/3🧟‍♂️) Similar to how the oc is feeling about being rejected, like she was stupid to let herself feel something for him, that’s why I think her barging in and calling him out in front of his friends got to him. (2/3)

Anonymous said:(3/3🧟‍♂️) All in all though, this chapter was really well written (like they all are lol) and I just wanted to take a moment to let you know how much I appreciate all the work you put into your writings bc they’ve really inspired me to educate myself on feminism and just a lot of things in general I’d never thought about before. Thanks again, Lu! I hope you have a wonderful week 💜💜 (3/3)

Anonymous said:wow lu, thank you for the newest nr update! my thoughts on my first reading: jungkook's reaction was shocking for the emotional side of me, not the logical side. I still feel for oc tho. yoongi being gay? didnt expect that & now I feel bad for assuming his sexuality, glad he talked to OC abt it bc it must have been hard to hold that secret. oc calling out jungkook? shes much braver than me, & I agree, jk's actions seem off. will reread & send reactions after, again thank you for writing/sharing!

There is literally nothing i love more than reading your thoughts and reactions!!! i have no idea how my writing will affect others, so to hear this is the most rewarding thing ever. thank you so much my lovely, passionate readers. You mean the world to me!!!

#new rules #new rules ch 11 #lanalanexpjm

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lachalaine · 6 years

Text

@kuebcko

shit, the emotional and soul-breaking avalanche went off. tbh, luckily. we could sense how it weighs you down and your emotions; it seeps through your words. and im proud and happy to read through your anger outburst, that you cut a hole into your facade like man you tried to keep up the good mood for us all while still battling with those heavy exceptions and roles in your own life hidden from tumblr. listen, we know you dont to want to turn your blog into some sadness pool or a place filled with your personal problems but it had to be done and its good you finally did. we wont judge you or blame you for your troubles, we strengthen you back as good as we can. im sorry your mom lost your job. when you wrote about your even worse mood drop i hoped it didnt happen bc you told me if it would happen it would happen around the end of july. if you need any support in the next months im here for you. you might not or wont tell me but still, im at your side. and though i hope for your mom for things to get better, i hope for you in the first place. its not unreasonable of you, neither towards your mom,your brother not unfair towards that friend you broke up with. you are important, your self-worth and mental and physical health just the same.

Oh, Scaley, you have no idea how thankful I am to have you.

Thank you so much for this message. It made me cry again as soon as I read it. Though it’s the kind of tears that I think I’ve needed for a good while now, so I’m grateful to you, thank you.

I hadn’t expected all the emotion to hit me like that at all tbh, and you’re right - it really is an avalanche. I just got the idea this morning and thought I’d try it, and then it just kept getting longer and was entirely unfiltered and I was scared of posting it. Scared I’d be drawing more negative energy on here when I had told myself to stop. But I needed it, and I’m glad I did. And heck, it’s kinda funny in a way – because whenever the avalanche hits me, I always get at least one message from someone that’s read it saying they’re proud and happy that I finally lost my chill. And it’s… amusing, honestly – and reassuring too.

I was hoping my negative moods hadn’t come across as often as I’d felt like it did, so I’m relieved that people don’t think it’s like that all the time on here, because that’s all it’s been feeling like on my end and I was worried that it was too obvious. Though I’m pleased too – about as much as you, I think. I feel like a really heavy weight was lifted off and I feel like… people know me a bit better now, even. I know I talk a lot to people but I don’t really say much about myself, and I didn’t realize how much I was hiding until I went full meltdown mode on there. Though it feels good because now I don’t feel like I’m pushing people away anymore from the worst sides of my personality and now they now what I sound like when I lose my temper too and I was afraid of showing that but no one immediately dumped me afterwards and even showed me support so –

I’m thankful for all the understanding that was given to me for this, and just the time spent to read through it. I think I really needed it. Especially because like ---- I wanted to tell you guys. So that maybe you’d stop worrying so much, because I could see people were concerned but I was scared of saying anything but also I’ve been that friend that’s had to sit back and watch as another friend hid their problems from me and it’s frustrating and only more worrying in the long run and you guys don’t deserve that !! Regardless if it was a personal issue, it’s not fair – particularly because you guys were only trying to help. And I feel like I put too much of a veil on here and don’t let anyone see past the veil and adbhadbhahda I DON’T WANNA BE FAKE EITHER.

And I feel like I have been a little bit, with all the constant attempts at happiness even when I don’t necessarily feel it and it just – doesn’t sit right with me. So I figured this was my best shot at just getting it all out and it turned out okay, all things considered. I guess I just – wanted someone to listen, but was too afraid of doing it one on one because I get. Terribly awkward about that. I just end up skipping the conversation and trying to shift it to someone else and making them try to smile and sadashdah I’m not good at opening up, in all honestly!

Though I’m… really glad I found a safe spot with you guys.

Thank you for always noticing my efforts as well, Scaley, and for your kind messages and well wishes. Thank you for always being my constant and strongest supporter no matter what, even if I may be late getting back to you sometimes. Thank you for reassuring me that I’m not being unreasonable nor unfair either. I just needed that comfort from someone else, in truth, not just me trying to reassurance myself but being uncertain anyway. That friend thing was weighing on me for a while as well, because I realized only too late how heavy things were in the months leading up to the breakup and I think the way I was being treated by him had only compounded to my problems, so I’m glad you mentioned that. Because I wanted to take care of myself too from now on, and I couldn’t do that with him around. And I worry because perhaps that makes me seem callous and cold that I don’t regret the loss of friendship, but my life is honestly... just better off within him, really. And thank you for helping me realize that, as your words have always helped me to see things clearly too, tbh, so it mean a lot! I always save your messages because they always do wonders in making me feel better, and honestly, you even remember things about me all the time, I’m so !! I don’t know how I deserve you!

Because you’re right! I was actually expecting something like this to occur but not this soon! My mood drops honestly always happen in June or July because the closer it gets to my birthday, the worse I feel about myself. Which isn’t to say I hate my birthday because I love it a lot !! I’d celebrate the whole week of it if I could!! But then I’m also --- I always feel bad because people do nice things for me and I feel unworthy of it around this time of the year. Which is also why I don’t talk about my feelings I guess, because then people go out of their way to worry about me and I feel bad and like I don’t deserve it. So it’s a thin line to cross and it’s never fun – though I’m hopeful that because the bomb has gone off so early, perhaps I may not have the same problem later on in the month.

I can at least hope. Because I’d actually want to enjoy my birthday this time and not feel bad about myself, if at all possible tbh aaaaaaah !!

The next few months may be harder or easier, idk yet – but I promise I will try my best to be more open to people, including you, and try to reach out more. Honestly, Tumblr RP is the one place I can try to forget all the stuff that drains me IRL, and that’s why I love coming back here so much. You guys really do make me happy all the time, and I know things would have been much worse if I didn’t have this outlet and you guys to depend on to take my mind away from everything else.

My smiles and laughter with you guys isn’t a lie. Meeting you all is one of the best things to have happened to me in a long time, and for that I’m very grateful – so thank you very much!

I hope things get better for my family and I too. I’m just trying to think of all the good stuff that makes me smile and focusing on that instead, and I’m hoping that before I know it – maybe things won’t feel so hard anymore after a while. And you are a large part of all that good stuff, and I adore you for that, Scaley!

Thank you for sending this message to me and taking some time out of your day to make me feel better. I’m already feeling so much lighter and not so shut in anymore, and that’s a big improvement after the last couple of weeks. I hope to feel marginally better soon.

I love you, Scaley and you’re the best! And I hope things are going well for you too! I’ll be back on Discord to scream at you soon, I promise. Thank you so much and stay safe, I miss you !!

#&& make sure the stars is what you aim for (positivity)#kuebcko #/ ily scaley #/ thank you so much #/ where would i be without u #/ i always imagine just #/ hugging you really tightly when you send me things like this #/ thank you #/ you're such a wonderful blessing to my life and I'm too lucky #/ you're the best thank you #submission

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spitelout · 6 years

Note

As that makes sense, thank you for answering my questions! => Hmm this one might be a weird one but if when the gang have a run in with a new dragon who's breath has the ability to de-age anything it touches for a limited amount of time, how would Spitelout react to his son conning back a toddler again and staying that way for a few days? Espicially if his now toddler son would want/need his attention so often?

He would be unbelieving at first, then angry, it would probably take him a bit to realize Baby Snotlout doesn’t have his memory intact, hes just a baby again….Then he would fall right back into his old dad ways, making silly noises while trying to teach him how to use his bludgeon properly all over.

Because what greater pride is there in the Jorgensen family than to train the young to be just as good as their parents =3

He probably isn’t the most responsible parent, however. I mean…neither was Stoick, they both gave their children deadly weapons as their first gifts.

He was probably rougher than most people, I can see him putting Snotlout with Terrible Terrors to make them play fight and then beaming with pride over any scars the toddler might receive in the tussle.However, I can also see him reassuring the toddler as they cry that this is a good thing, that they will grow into a strong warrior and be able to tell the tale of when they beat a dragon as a baby. (In fact, I think thats where the idea of Stoick killing a dragon with his bare hands as a baby came from…exaggerated scar stories. It probably happened about the same way….with a Terrible Terror.)

Tbh, if such an event occurred, Hookfang would probably have to take over caring for the reborn Snotlout because I just dont believe Spitelout is capable of being a responsible adult with babies, he doesn’t understand how fragile they ARE compared to what they CAN BE.He, among other vikings in the tribe, were probably the type to put several babies in a ring and watch them fight.Vikings are communal - even in parenting, so its possible he often left Snotlout with anyone willing to watch him….The twins parents come to mind - which is probably why they spend so much time together as teens as well, they were raised together.However, its possible Snotllouts mother died later in his life and she raised him until he was able to walk and follow his father around. Perhaps she raised the tins as well - they do mention they’re orphans, but -shrugs- their pasts are pretty clouded in mystery too.

Unfortunately, with this in mind, the twins would probably convince Spitelout to let them watch baby Snotlout for a bit and…I think we can all guess how that would go.

Lets just hope Hookfang isn’t affected by this as well, bc that baby is going to need a guardian angel - especially a five ton angel of fangs and flame

Also , since your ask was so specific, heres a sorta drabble based around it.

————————————————————————

There are few things that can surprise Spitelout these days, very few, but as the small viking - no, chieftain, Hiccup, stood awkwardly before him, he found himself at a loss. Hiccup was always presenting the tribe with surprises, and now, it seemed, he was presenting a very personal one to him.

Curious, and perhaps a bit bemused by the awkward chieftains shuffling he began the conversation, “What brings the chief of Berk to my door today?”

Hiccup scratched the back of his neck as he looked between the ground and Spitelouts gaze, “Uuuuuuh,” He took a deep breath and let it out, “Spitelout…” There was something heavy on his mind and he didn’t seem to know how to get it out.

“Yes, I am he. go on, boyyo.”

“While we were out exploring the islands, we encountered a dragon we had never seen before, it was amazing, it was - - ” Hiccup never had been the best at getting to the point, but Spitelout let him ramble; the lad really liked his tales, Stoick had too….

Luckily, Astrid stepped in, ah, what a great lass, always straight to the point. “What hes trying to say is, we found a new dragon and Snotlout being Snotlout, well,…” she trailed off, biting her lip as she held out a tightly wrapped bundle towards him, a Snotlouts helm delicately placed atop it.

Spitelout felt his brow furrow as his gaze trailed down to the bundle. There was a tightness in his chest that he refused to acknowledge. Had his boy really gotten himself-

He glanced up as Snotlouts Monstrous Nightmare waddled into view, it seemed anxious, but not particularly upset. Strange, that.

He became plagued with wary curiosity.

“Hes a bit…shorter than when we left this morning,” Astrid continued at last, a light chuckle in her voice,

He took the bundle in one burly hand and gingerly unwrapped it with the other.

He looked back up at the pair, who continued to watch him warily and awkwardly at the same time, he furrowed his brows deeper, trying to decipher what sort of game or joke they were playing at. He looked to them fr answers.

“Spitelout, this- this is your son.”

Spitelout chuckled heartily, it was just some game they were playing, strange, he always assumed they were different from the twins. “I only ave the one, boyyo, don’t think I could handle anotha.”

“No, Spitelout, that is - this is Snotlout.” Hiccup insisted. “the dragon he battled had this strange…” he struggled to find words, “venom, I guess is the best word for it, that, when inhaled, reverses the aging process and turns people back into younger versions of themselves.”

Spitelout critically searched their faces for the lie, then stared down at the child in his hands, it looked back at him with familiar grey eyes.

“Gothi says theres a cure, but we have to find all the parts.” Hiccup hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Until then, you need to take care of him…”

“Alrigh, Ill play your lil game, ” he sighed good-heartedly. He found it hard to believe such a thing could really happen, “But if ye needed babysitta, all ye had to do was ask.”

Hiccup began to protest, but Astrid stopped him, pulling him away with one last wary glance behind her and leading him to their dragons.

Spitelout shook his head as their shadows vanished in the horizon, it seemed the pair still had a ways to go before they became parents of their own. He looked back down at the child and wiggled his fingers near their face making silly noises as he did so. The child gripped his fingers tightly, and a seed of doubt entered his mind.

—————

He was angry at first, pacing the room as the Monstrous Nightmare coiled itself around the child and watched him carefully he didn’t doubt that the thing would light the entire archipelago on fire just to protect Snotlout, but he wasn’t concerned by its low rumble.

“Ow could you go an be so brash!” he scolded loudly, “I ave told yew time and time again, ye cant jus rush in blind!”

“Now, Look at ye! Reduced to - to this! Well I ave news fer yew, Im not changing that diaper. Yew can change it yerself!”

The child sniffled, a cry beginning to bark from their throat.

“Oh don’t start yer cryin, Ive told ye about this before. Were Jorgensens! We don’t cry! We make other people cry!” he tried to sound harsh, but there was a softness edging into his voice as tears streamed down the childs face.

The Monstrous Nightmare was growling now, a full fledged snarl that bared every single dagger-point fang in his head.

“Oi don’t ye start! Where were yewwhen this happened anyway?”

The dragon bulked at the accusation and simmered back into a low rumble.

Spitelout sighed as the childs screams ripped through his home. He wasn’t angry, he was frustrated, frustrated at himself.

Freya help him, he couldn’t raise a child alone.

Ignoring the dragon he plucked Snotlout from its coils and sang him the Jorgensen lullaby.

————————————————–

“its just wee scratch,” he reassured his son as the toddler screeched and flailed away from the terrible Terror. “Hopefully it will scar and then yewll have a story to tell when ye get older!”

The baby sniffled unconvinced, but curious.

“Ye can tell em you got it grappling a berserker who tried ta kidnap the prodigy of the Jorgensens!”

The baby lit up as his father articulated this cheerily with his hands.

“But no one kin take a Jorgensen from the place he calls home, no one!”

————————————————————————

He was happy to play father again, really he was, up until day three had passed and neither Astrid nor Hiccup had returned.

He was a busy man, incredibly busy, and also incredibly tired.

Did babies normally cry this much?

Spitelout did his best to comfort the babe, but it didnt seem Snotlout understood how great it was to be a Jorgensen, couldn’t see what a great warrior he would be one day….had been….

———————————————

There was a ruckus upstairs, a series of dragon shrieks and the smell of burning wood. There were startled screams and the screams of a woken baby.

Spitelout rushed upstairs, ax at the ready as he prepared to defend his son.

the screaming stopped when he got halfway up, the house became eerily quiet, and chill went through him followed by a burning in his gut. Whatever was up there better have prayed to whatever god they believed in that no harm had come to his son.

Voices reached his ears, soft but with an annoying edge to it, the twins.

“Hes so cute now that he cant hit us~” Tuffnut purred as he let the small Snotlout play with his braids.

“Yea, and now that he cant talk!” Ruffnut laughed.

“Oh, hey, Spitey” Tuffnut noted blankly, unapologetic in the damage they had caused. “Mind if we take Snotlout out for a midnight flight?”

————————————–

Edit: Annnnnd sorry but I ran out of juice here. -shrugs loudly- Its 1 am, I spent too much time on this as is. X3

#The mun answers #Headcanons

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littlelovelymemes · 7 years

Text

✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘ if i’m ever murdered i hope they make the chalk outline of my body hot ’ ‘ i hope you end up ok ’ ‘ i’m crying my best ’ ‘ how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit ’ ‘ some kid just skateboarded down my street crying ’ ‘ do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know. ’ ‘ i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself ’ ‘ which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite: burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney, or lucky by britney spears? ’ ‘ you know my name… and also my story cause i overshare 24/7 tbh ’ ‘ @ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened ’ ‘ there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch ’ ‘ after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death ’ ‘ why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable ’ ‘ hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon ’ ‘ remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life ’ ‘ what the fuck is a good day ’ ‘ sleeping pattern: ??¿?¿??¿¿¿?¿ ’ ‘ is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight? ’ ‘ does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating ’ ‘ i’m not like most girls [rips off sunglasses]… i like most girls ’ ‘ time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day ’ ‘ roses are red, i’m going to bed ’ ‘ u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy ’ ‘ i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented ’ ‘ just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe ’ ‘ you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm that’s how I want to feel always ’ ‘ come into bed and listen to the rain with me ’ ‘ i hope all my girls out here r safe n being loved ’ ‘ people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel, ’ ‘ i want to have angel wings and be kinder, braver and more tender ’ ‘ concept: a really nice italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that ’ ‘ i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly ’ ‘ does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it ’ ‘ “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better ’ ‘ i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it ’ ‘ i’m alive out of spite ’ ‘ the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up ’ ‘ a bad person? who, me? that would be correct, ’ ‘ you hate me? wow u think ur hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so u can go grab a number and wait ur turn ’ ‘ my heart does a little “!” when I see you ’ ‘ i just want to say from the bottom of my heart i didn’t sign up for this shit ’ ‘ i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn ’ ‘ still got love for some people i know i’ll never talk to again. ’ ‘ my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY ’ ‘ y’all i get attached to people so quickly wth ’ ‘ i wonder how many strangers hate me bc of how someone else described me to them ’ ‘ for the 80th year in a row, the song of the summer is Everytime We Touch by Cascada ’ ‘ it’s weird to think that people who are 5 ft are only 5 subways long ’ ‘ in alcohol’s defense i’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too ’ ‘ man this has been the worst life of my life ’ ‘ having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch ’ ‘ I Have To Be Dramatic. 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#rp meme #ask meme #indie rp #sentence starters #rp sentence meme #inbox meme #inbox memes #rp inbox meme #sentence starter meme #rp sentence starters #starters #rp ask meme #rp ask box meme

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neocassity · 7 years

Text

Uncalled|4

A/N: THIS ISN’T THE BEST AND IM SORRY BUT- Please let me know how you feel about it, by reblogging and putting your thoughts somewhere in the tags or just with the reblog. You could also comment, y’know. ALSO, my ask box in ALWAYS open for criticisms and opinions and I AM VERY OPEN to anything that could help me understand how my contents are being received by people So- And why is smut bolded on the ‘genre’ category? Bc this chapter is a smutty one rip

R e a d e r x F u c k b o y!J a e h y u n WORD COUNT: 943 GENRE: Fluff, Smut, Angst. WARNING: smut

1 2 3 4 5

And it happened, it just fucking happened. My heart screamed ‘no’ at a volume even I would my find ears bleeding at if someone next door played their music like that. But, my body reacted to his touch as his fingers softly prodded on my jawline, easing me more into the kiss. His tongue glided slowly over my lower lip and I readily opened my mouth, feeling the wet and warm appendage stuff into my mouth. The feeling was nowhere near that of discomfort, and I prayed his listening was as bad as mine so that he couldn’t make out my heart hammering inside, hard enough to tear through my chest.

One of his hands softly placed itself on the nape of my neck as the other slipped under my shirt and massaged my sides. His fingers were rough and warm as they protruded my body with goosebumps. I gasped at his touches became needier with time, his hand slowly slipping past my bra to run his fingers over my bosom. I felt soft under his touch, or so he groaned, as frustration took over and he slipped it over my head.

His forwardness had me snapping my head backwards as my top fell on his lap.

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun muttered, “I-”

I grabbed him and kissed him fully on the mouth, silencing him as he almost pulled back in shock. However, he reciprocated soon enough. Putting his hands on my waist, he slowly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me flush against his clothed body. I groaned as the material made my bare skin itch, my cells crying in the worst cacophony at the thin barrier. I promptly parted from the kiss and endeavoured to take his shirt off, my palms sweaty and wobbly. Before I could tear the last button off, he stopped me in my process. Taking my hands in his, he whispered, “Look at me.”

I complied, looking up at him from my hands then enveloped in his, “Calm down. I might have a reputation for being rough, but I can be… gentle, too.”

I nodded and my eyes fluttered as he put your hands on his lap and took his shirt off, pulling me up on him and laying down. He tucked my hair behind my ears, his look on me solicitous, before kissing me again.

My knee brushed against his erection, trapped in his jeans. I could sense the low moan caged in his throat as I poked more with my knee. He simply rolled so that I was beneath him, before taking my shorts and panties off at once. He sat on the edge of the bed as he got rid of his remaining clothing, before taking the condom out of his wallet. He pumped himself, preparing for what was to come. I smiled softly as my eyes hungrily travelled his back, before crawling over to him.

“Let me,” I whispered, before taking his length in hand and pumping him. I felt his hand land on my hair and he softly tugged on it, moans and groans escaping his throat as he encouraged me to continue in a low, sexy voice.

When I could tell he was at his peak, I helped him put the condom on. I lay down again, this time looking up at the ceiling and quietly anticipating.

His body hovered over mine in no time. His hands running down my sides as he placed butterfly kisses across my clavicle. He inched higher to place a hickey on my neck as I clawed the back I was eyeing a while back, somewhat eager to leave marks on him as he left on me. My fingers entangled in his hair and he kissed my breasts and licked on my hardened nipples, before sucking them each teasingly and inserting a finger in my heat. I whimpered and he moved up to kiss me, his thumb running circles on my clit. My whole body heated up and my toes wiggled, heat pooling in my soles. I felt a second finger join the prior one, my back arching to his chest as the other hand ran soothingly over my head, the other continuing its ministrations efficiently. Soon enough, I was ready for him. When I felt the tip tease my hole, I quivered. My breathing was heavy and my heart was thumping hard against my chest. A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he softly tugged on my bottom lip, before pushing in.

Penetrative sex is supposedly overrated. However, even through the latex when his length brushed my inner walls, trying to thrust higher inside every time to hit my G-spot, I realised exactly how much time he spent on those books he carried around in his bag shamelessly to exceed expectations.

As he got closer, he kissed the crook of my neck, burying his face. His hands held onto the headboard as his hips snapped against mine, his thrusts becoming untimely and erratic. One of his hands travelled down my body, squeezing my breast and lightly pinching my nipple on the way, before letting his thumb invade my heat and tease my clit. He took my clit between his forefinger and thumb, before promptly releasing it and rubbing harried circles.

“Close…” I managed to moan, feeling him nod in the crook of my neck.

“I-” he groaned, before releasing in the condom, roughly rubbing his thumb against my clit and dragging me to my release.

As we both calmed down from our high, both our breathing unstable and needy, he softly kissed my cheek and laid his head on the pillow by mine. His snores lulled me to sleep.

#jung jaehyun #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct scenarios #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst #nct smut #nct fluff #nct angst #my man jung yoonoh ayyyyy #jeffrey~#kpop scenarios #kpop smut

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lilietsblog · 7 years

Text

tag meme

tagged by @kerowyn-ankh man you keep tagging me in these wonderful things and I keep leaving them open in a tab to do later and then just. not doing that. im so sorry. i love them. please do this forever

Name: Hanna! or Anna. If you call me Ganna you'll be technically correct but I might just cry. LILIET FOR Y'ALL MY NAME IS LILIET

Nicknames: eeeh I'm assuming you are not trying to refer to my memories of being bullied from kindergarten to middle school nor asking about all the vast landscape of RP characters I've made on RP forums where your character's name had to be your nickname... so, um, Liliet. Or if you're asking for pet names / diminutives for my actual real life name, Anya, Anyuta... basically anything that Russian allows except Nyusha and Nyura I will fucking deck you for that

Zodiac sign: Equius what do you mean that is not a zodiac sign

Height: 156 cm

Orientation: aro ace last I checked

Nationality: Ukrainian

Favorite fruit: THIS IS LIKE ASKING WHICH OF MY PARENTS I LOVE MORE. I'll go with "tomato" just to underscore the feeling of being utterly lost that I experience looking at this question.

Favorite season: UHHHHHH. I HAVE TROUBLE PLAYING FAVORITES OKAY. I'll go with "summer" I guess bc WALKING BAREFOOT ON THE GRASS. And hiking. And swimming. And horrible, horrible stuffy heat you cannot escape from okay look I have trouble playing favorites okay

Favorite book: AAAA. HOW. ALL OF THEM. You know what I'll go with "Demon's Dance" by Zimina bc while she has very tenuous grasp of spelling, punctuation and grammar of the language she writes in her books have brought me hours of joy. It's trash. It's my favorite trash.

Favorite flower: uhhh roses. They are pretty. There's a reason they are a popular choice. SO MANY COLORS

Favorite scent: outdoors without exhaust fumes. I AM A BIG CITY CHILD. I literally don't give a fuck what it smells like give me cow manure and rotting swamp JUST AS LONG AS IT'S NOT EXHAUST OR CIGARETTE SMOKE.

Favorite color: fuuuuuuu this is REALLY HARD OKAY. I DO NOT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST COLORS. Maybe pink but like so many different shades of pink it's not even the same color so I guess I'm cheating by picking pink? Whatever.

Favorite animal: rats, cats, foxes, dogs, ravens, dolphins, rabbits, horses yes I did in fact give up thank you for noticing.

Coffee, tea, or hot cocoa: Tea, because it's much easier to make tasty than cocoa, doesn't cause headaches like coffee (COFFEE I LOVE YOU WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME) and has SO MANY VARIATIONS. I love all of them. Except the gross ones. Which ones taste gross to me varies day by day but thankfully tea is VAST AND DIVERSE.

Average sleep hours: hmmm if I say I go to sleep at 11 pm and get up at 7:30 that gives me 8:30. Sounds about right. Except for when I go to sleep at 2 am :>

Cat or dog person: I am a rat person. I love rats. I want to get a rat as soon as we move to our new house. I also love cats and am a cat person and have dreamed of having a cat for years and now my cuddlebug cat is my greatest joy. I love every single dog I've ever interacted with and we are going to get a dog and I'm so happy and I'm a dog person. I DO NOT DISCRIMINATE BETWEEN WONDERFUL AND JOYOUS PETS OKAY

Favorite fictional character: urgh. You are not making it easy on me. Basically I have several Types that I love every single one of: 1) nerdy stoic/emotionless bookish smart girl not good with people, aka me. Twilight Sparkle, Ayanami Rei (yes I group them together here bc I love them in the same way), Hermione Granger, the list goes on. You know them when you see them; 2) a kid who's been doing horrible things because of parental issues and struggles with the concept of empathy and being a good person bc they weren't really taught how. Vriska Serket, Marvel's Loki, I KNOW THEY ARE ALL TERRIBLE THAT'S THE SELECTION CRITERION BUT THEY ARE MY CHILDREN AND I WILL PROTECT AND GUIDE THEM TILL THE END OF MY DAYS; 3) a dark-haired (preferably LONG haired) stoic/emotionless pretty guy who's Been Through Shit and as a result acts offstandish to everyone but really just Suffers. Often overlaps with 2), like Marvel's Loki. Popular examples include Uchiha Sasuke. The fucking trashiest examples I get angry at myself for even acknowledging include Kylo Ren. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry.

Apart from that, I also love TRAITS in characters that make them my absolute faves: - hypercompetence. Does not necessarily mean "can do anything they need to" but "has a very good idea of their own ability and can tell how hard a challenge will be realistically ahead of time". That's literally all I ask for how hard is it to provide writers (I am an anxious baby okay this is Important For My Mental Health) - hyperempathy. Gimme Heart of Gold who will sympathize with and forgive literally the person who is currently trying to kill them. Gimme someone who is legitimately tortured over not being able to help everyone at the same time and is running themselves to death forgetting self-care. GIMME - trickster traits. Like yeah I fucking hate pranks and the kind of joke where you're supposed to know the other person is not speaking seriously but tricksters - strategists, pranksters, shapeshifters, teleporters - are still delightful and wonderful and REALLY FUN. OH LOOK THIS IS ALSO LOKI FUCK THAT GUY FOR HOW MUCH OF MY HEADSPACE HE TAKES UP. wait not even a guy all the time Loki's genderfluid PRONOUNS ARE HARD - a politician who is selflessly working for the good of people. I WISH I WAS JOKING BUT I AM NOT. I have SUCH a hard-on for political fantasy and GO WATCH LOG HORIZON IF YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. This is one of my most favorite things in the book world

actually now that I've remembered Log Horizon I would like to nominate Shiroe as my Absolute Fucking Fave bc while tumblr provides very little content re: him and I cannot flourish in a fandom without other people, he is like the dense concentration of all my favorite things in one character. I can't even say that it's a flaw that he's a guy bc a certain flavor of selflessness and caring is much more fun in a guy bc girls are already socially expected to be like that and Fuck That Noise. I love him the way he is I love EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM /goes off to cry also he's aro ace fight me

Number of blankets you sleep with: one, but a REALLY BIG AND HEAVY one. I don't care how hot it is I will wrap myself around the blanket instead of the blanket around myself I NEED IT

Dream trip: hmm. This is actually an interesting question because I've never thought of it that way. I'd like to go everywhere possible but logistics of travel are hard and frustrating and I like hiking and grrrhh. I dunno. I want to be able to fly

Blog created: 4/13 2014, around midnight. I WILL NEVER FORGET

#tag meme #tagging everyone and no-one #whoever feels like doing this tag me as having tagged them i will be so happy

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ificouldflytotheclouds · 6 years

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Youngblood Album First Impressions

These are my initial thought after listening to the album for the first time.

Youngblood

I was at work when the studio version of this song first dropped, I was standing in the foyer as I waited for campus transportation to arrive. I was familiar with the song because I had listened to live recordings to prepare me for my concert, which at the time was three days away. My jaw dropped. The live version was good, but the studio version was a killer. This song is a deserves to be danced to, HARD. In concert, I don’t feel like this song goes as hard, and for that reason, I prefer the studio version. It’s funny because I thought this song went hard, I WAS NOT PREPARED.

I think this was an excellent title track and song to start the album. It encapsulates the feel of the entire album from the production, singing, and the lyrics.

Favorite Lyrics:

“Surrender my everything/'Cause you made me believe you're mine“

This line is so vulnerable and it tugs at my heartstrings.

“When you looking at those strangers/Hope to God you see my face”

I am a sucker for these lyrics after making eye contact with Luke during the concert, but I also relate this to the crush that at had at the time, and the friends that are no longer friends.

Want You Back

When I first listened to this song I was like wHo iS tHiS bAnD?? I think this was a good lead single (had they known the success of youngblood that might’ve been better, but it might not have gotten as popular if it came out of nowhere) to introduce the new song. Compared to rest of the album this song is fairly tame, I’ve listened to it so many times that ofc this is 5sos. I just wow I’m so proud of them (imma try not to write this through the entire post bc thats basically what I did on twitter all night)

Favorite Lyrics:

Is it tears or just the fucking rain? (who am I liking explicit lines, I am a changed woman)

And the way that I used to make you laugh/'Cause you know every morning I wake up/Yeah, I still reach for you/I remember the roses on your shirt/When you told me this would never work

Lie to Me

Out of the non-singles performed on tour (+valentine, talk fast, moving along), this one is my favorite. I fell in love with it instantly. It makes me think of Come Back… Be Here which is my second favorite Taylor Swift song. Ngl, hearing the studio version was a tad disappointing because I was hoping that there would be piano in the song, even though why would there be? Lol. It’s not like there was piano in the live version. Listening to the studio version made me understand the boys when they talk about the contrast the sad lyrics with the happy beachy vibe instrumental. I still LOVE this song, it was just a bit of a shock because I had unrealistic expectations for the studio version (I think I was thinking closer to Ghost of You vibes), regardless, I will request they release a piano cover of the song. The short clips of Luke on the piano is not enough. The harmonies in this song are so good and my hear hurts over the lyrics.

There is violin in this song and that needs to be appreciated. There’s also a certain sound at the end of the chorus that sounds like something else but I can’t remember what.

Favorite Lyrics:

And I caught you looking too, but you didn't look twice

Valentine

This song took me a while to get into. 1) The rhythm is very different from anything else I have heard by them 2) The word choices in the chorus, there are some words that automatically turn me off of songs they just sound cringy to me. After listening to the song enough I have gotten us to it and enjoy the song.

I don’t know why it took me so long to realize, well I do, it’s because I had to get used to the lyrics, but this song is HOT. Another good song to perform on tour to introduce how SEXY this album is, literally. It’s funny because I normally am not a fan of albums when they’re too sexual but I am so in love with this album and they also address the topic in a classy, normalizing way, that doesn’t just focus on being horny, there’s an additional psychological dimension within their song.

Favorite Lyrics:

We know we're classic together like Egyptian gold/We love us

Talk Fast

This was the only song they sang on the tour that I hadn’t heard the studio version, my jaw was on the floor (I mean it was for most songs but lol). This was my second favorite non-single song they performed on tour, it has a fun ‘80′s inspired feel. The bass (and the drums) stand out in this song.

Favorite Lyrics:

Leave all of your indecisions with you at home/Don't see you're doing me a favor

lol me.

God dammit we look good together

Moving Along

This song also took me a little while to get into, besides the beat, I think it has to do with the more talk quality of the song. And again, the interesting lyrics. But now you see me bopping. I feel like they chose very unique songs to perform on tour and I appreciate that it also gave me the time to love them, so now I can properly enjoy them now that the album is out.

Favorite Lyrics:

For this song, my favorite lyrics has to do more with what part of the song is the most fun to sing along to.

I know I’m the stupid one who ended it/And now I'm the stupid one regretting it

I've been thinking about you lots, lately/Or are you moving along?

If Walls Could Talk

This is the first new song that I heard and it was so exciting. From the first listen I knew that this is going to be one of my favorite songs. Which makes me scream because this is a straight sex song. This song just makes me smile and makes me want to dance.

This is the first song that Ashton has a proper feature and it makes me so happy :) I love the drums and the piano in this song. Michael’s guitar part during most of the song brings a lightness during the song but then during the bridge it brings the gritty, we're getting down and dirty aspect to the song.

-Disclaimer- I will not talk about bass enough through this post bc I do not have the best ear for bass, I am just not as familiar with the instrument. I can tell in some songs, but in others, I have to listen very closely but even then I don’t necessarily hear it (I mean I’m pretty sure Cal will be playing the piano in this song so... it makes sense)

Favorite Lyrics:

Bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound

I love this line. This is a song that makes you want to put your head back, dance and get lost in the music. It is a perfect representation of the song.

If these walls could talk, I'd hope they wouldn't say anything/Because they've seen way too many things

This lines really brings perspective. I find this song to be very vulnerable. The line is saying that it’s seen everything you’ve done within these walls, the sex, the desire, but also you break down crying, the look of falling in love, anger, and frustration as you hit the wall… The walls know your everything.

Better Man

Another Taylor Swift reference? Lol. But actually, this song reminds me of Ed Sheeran. I even feel like how it’s sung gives me ed vibes, the guitar, down to the mhhh.

This song is so cute.

Favorite Lyrics:

New friends again and again, gone when the morning comes/Demons I try to defend, but I couldn't get enough

This line stood out right away it was sad and relatable.

Wrapped in your arms, I swear I'd die for you

im not emo.

Another fav. This song goes so hard. It reminds me a little bit of ONE OK ROCK. There is a heavy guitar part, Ashton kills the drums at the end, and there's a shaker?? in this song too.

I mean... this is about Luke. It can easily apply to the other boys, but there’s a reason why this is a Luke dominate album.

Favorite Lyrics:

Enemy lines are drawn, lines are drawn

I love how Calum sings this line

I like a lot of lines in the album, the first verse is a standout, idk, this is a very sad relatable song.

Why Won’t You Love Me

Lol the first few seconds makes me think of Chole by Emblem3

This was the first song where I was still and entranced while listening to it. This is a very cinematic song, which is very beautiful but also makes me think of someone (cough cough) staring out a rainy window.

While I have never been in a relationship I can relate to this song, specifically to friendship. Sometimes people change or need something better even if nothing actually went wrong. I think this is something important to remember with any relationship, sometimes “It’s not you, it’s me” is as true as it gets.

The ooh at the end is cute.

Favorite Lyrics:

You say you can't wait and need to make a change

I check my phone to see your face/Staring back as if to say/Don't worry, you won't be lonely

Woke Up In Japan

I can’t help but think about my time in Japan while I listen to this (Even though I am actually visualizing China bc we were in a hotel for a short time, while the dorm we were in Japan was more like an apartment). This song is good, they lyrics standout the most, but it defs doesn’t stand out as much as other songs. It’s an interesting contradiction that I am trying to wrap my head around. It’s all over the place. The song is about amazing sex, the ecstasy of a night out while being in a bad mental place in another country. (even though japans probs metaphorical in this context)

Favorite Lyrics:

It was more than just a neon weekend

Empty Wallets

This is another song that does stand out too much but it’s still GOOD.

Favorite Lyrics:

Dancing on empty wallets

I love the visual

Shoulda caught a break/The fluid ain't to blame/For the sugar causing pain

Ghost of You

I’m not dying, I am already dead. This song pulls at my heartstrings so much. I can’t. It also reminds me of songs that they play in ‘00 movies which makes me emo (closest I can think of I’ll be, but that’s not exactly the feel I’m going for).

This is a masterpiece.

Favorite Lyrics:

The verses. I can’t pick.

Monster Among Men

Michael starting of the song. Yes. This song is funky and fun. I really enjoy the instrumental arrangement in this song, Ashton’s drumming goes hard, mikey’s guitar solo, cal on the piano. It’s amazing. This isn’t my #1 but it’s defs up there (as with the next to songs)

Favorite Lyrics:

one, two, three, four

I love how this switches with the beat. The oh no’s in this song also go hard.

it's time for me to admit/That I'm an asshole, so here I go

boy…wyd? At least you’re being honest.

Meet You There

The chorus, the beat drop. YESSSS. I also love the attitude of whatever will be will be, the universe will choose our destiny.

Favorite Lyrics:

I would break in bed, if you wanted me to

I. AM. SCREAMING.

Babylon

Calum F it up. The intro to this song. I had heard that a song sounded like FOB, my friend made the direct reference last night, but not until this morning have I finally been able to hear it. Sounds similar to centuries which is one of FOB’s best songs (that I’ve heard).

Favorite Lyrics:

The entire second verse

I'm tired of the feud, your short fuse, my half-truths are not amused/I wish we had a clue to start new, a white moon, no residue/The color of our mood is so rude, a cold June, we're not immune/But if we're way too faded to fight, you can stay one more night.

And there we have it, folks. I am so incredibly proud of these boys. This album was life-changing for them, their excitement feed off to us, and it followed through. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed an album so much since Made in the AM and that was back in 2015. Well, this will all I will be talking about for a long time. So I am sorry in advance.

Ranking to hopefully come later in the week.

Album Review/Ranking Masterlist

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jungnoir · 7 years

Text

ghost!bambam;

a while back @seoulscapes sent me this text post and said this would be ghost!bambam and this idea was always a cute what if...... and then someone requested it

and how could i refuse our bby bam?

ok ok so background on bambam’s death: he died way too young

he was in college and had just been accepted into the frat of his dreams

he was basically living the life

but some dumbass in the frat thought that bambam wasn’t “ride or die” enough so the head of the frat acquiesced bc obviously the reputation of the frat was on the line and he couldn’t have any of his pledges getting in easy peasy

obviously

so they decided to gave him one more trial, a quickie that barely meant anything to them at all

even bam himself was like “lol that’s easy”

the trial was to enter this old house in the neighborhood and to retrieve a well hidden letterman jacket, the jacket that new pledges get once they’d passed all the tests

the head of the frat sent the dumbass with the genius idea to hide it, and that guy and his friend made sure to make it unrealistically hard for bambam

they placed it in the attic, where there were countless holes and creaky floorboards and basically the whole thing is a death trap nightmare

but bambam is super confident!!! he’s like hell yeh imma get in there and imma find that jacket and im gonna look so cool to the prez of the frat that he’ll throw me a party in my honor and thank me on his knees for even considering his frat

he got ahead of himself obviously but i digress

at first, bambam was sure he could find it

he searched everywhere, high and low, and the longer it took him to search the more frustrated he and the frat brothers got

after a while, the brothers decided to head back, and if bam could bring the jacket by morning then he was in

bam had searched every area of the abandoned house and finally he had reached the attic, which had been ~mysteriously~ left open

he decides it wouldn’t hurt to check and goes up, flashing his phone light to see the jacket all the way across the attic, practically waiting for him like treasure to a pirate

he scrambles up, not even thinking about watching his step

and not even a few feet later, he’s got the jacket in hand, but he collapses right through the floor

honestly, a lot of people had fallen through the attic before, leaving with nothing more serious than a broken bone or two, but it’s not bambam’s lucky day

he happens to step in the worst spot, and it sends him falling from the high open ceiling above the front door, falling three stories and hitting the ground with a sickening crack

he was dead on impact

the frat brothers didn’t see bam the next day, or the day after that, so most of them assumed bam got hurt or chickened out after not finding it

until a few days later when some students passing by the house noticed a foul smell

the police were called and bam was found, and the frat brothers were so surprised that they didn’t dare speak a word of it to anyone

it looked like a frat kid playing around, and got too brave and ended up dead

it was a tragic case, and the campus mourned for months

bambam didn’t quite realize his ghostly self until a week after the incident, when he found himself staring out of one of the bedroom windows, laying on the floor with the letterman jacket around his shoulders

he was super confused, wondering if the fall had been a dream and he had just passed out in a random room or something

he leaves the house shortly after, and sees one of his frat brothers

he goes to greet him, to gloat about finally passing all the tests, but as soon as bambam walks up to him the frat brother walks straight through him

so bambam really starts freaking out and thinks that he’s drunk, and starts yelling at the frat brother for help or something but

nothing

no one can hear him

and it seems like no one can see or feel him either

it’s only when he gets to the frat house that he sees a vigil still up, filled to the brim with fresh flowers and a small stand that says “for bambam, may he rest in peace”

it’s so unbelievable that all he can do is break down and cry, scream for anyone who might realize he’s there, but after a while his cries grow less and less, and suddenly he’s confined himself to the house of which he died in, spending every day alone and depressed

he slowly learns that he can still be helpful, and whenever stupid teenagers try to sneak in for fun, he always scares them off before they can

the least he can do, he thinks, is keep others from meeting his fate too

so for months, it’s all he’s used to

the solitude grows so suffocating that bambam actually thinks he’ll go mad, but then you show up

you’re new, with ripped jeans and dirty sneakers and your hair pulled out of your face

you’ve got a clipboard in hand and glasses on the tip of your nose as you make your way inside, taking a step every few feet and scribbling something on your paper

he’s learned that he can appear and disappear to those he wants, all he has to do is focus

so he keeps invisible and stays behind you, being careful not to startle you as he reads over your shoulder

and sure enough, he finds out that you’re a real estate agent

“this place is a lawsuit waiting to happen. no wonder that kid died here” you mumble under your breath, and bambam forgets to conceal himself, his eyes widening as he appears before you with a finger pointed at himself

“me?!” he shouts

you’re so frightened you scream and tumble back, but bambam is fast and grabs you by the waist before you can hurt yourself, his face knitted into an expression of concern

as soon as he sets you upright, you’re scrambling to get away from him, looking around for any signs of him coming in, but it’s like he appeared out of thin air

and he looks strangely familiar, but you just can’t place it

clutching over your heart with a heavy breath, you narrow your eyes at him and level your clipboard to defend yourself just in case “who are you and what are you doing here, kid?”

and bambam is highkey offended like

kid?? he’s- well, he was going to turn 21 soon

folding his arms over his chest, he pouts, “i could ask you the same thing. don’t you know this place is off limits since that... ya know... incident?”

he tries his best to sound authoritative and to have the upper hand in the situation but you catch on quick “it’s off limits to the general public, a public of which i am not apart of. i’m a real estate agent and i’m supposed to be casing this place for repairs. it’s gonna be hard to sell, what with the history behind it, but some people like stuff like that”

for some reason, bambam feels like he’s being intruded upon

like how could you just come in and take this place from him? he had nowhere else to go

it was already hell being on his own, he didn’t want to know what it would be like trying to avoid actual people living in the same place he lost his life

and it wasn’t like he could just relocate. his spirit was forever tied to that place, and even though he could go to some places, he could only go so far before his spirit would weaken and he’d be forced to return

“you don’t wanna do that. honestly, it’d be a better idea if you just left me- i mean, it alone”

he hopes you don’t catch on to his slip up but you’ll be damned if you ignore it

“you? what, do you come here to avoid your parents or something, kid? look, i’d suggest you find somewhere less dangerous to spend your time. isn’t it a bit early in the morning to be here anyway?”

you continue to keep interrogating him, fretting over him like a child, and bambam is finding it really hard to keep his cool

he obviously can’t outright say he’s dead and has nowhere to go, but you don’t seem to be shutting up any time soon

in the middle of your spiel about how “back in your day” you rebelled too, you reach a hand out to grab him, but

your hand...goes right through him

while he was getting worked up about you, he hadn’t been focusing on how his body was slowly fading in and out of its solid state

you kinda just stand there, fingers hovering right where his palm and the bones of his hand should stop you, his skin translucent and bordering on transparent

you think your eyes are playing tricks on you so you move your hand up toward his chest, and it solidifies under your touch as you let out a relieved sigh

but then you don’t feel anything under your fingertips

you place your hand right over his heart and feel nothing, not a steady beat or even his chest rising and falling to take in a damn breath

it’s just cold skin under a cold, thin tee shirt, and the boy before you is looking at you like he’s been waiting for you to notice

“what... why are... where is your heartbeat?” “i don’t very well need one if i’m dead, do i?”

suddenly the familiarity hits you, and all those months ago when you’d first seen his face on tv, the tragic case of a college kid who’d lost his life in the very house you were in

you let out a choked scream, but it’s barely loud enough to startle the birds out in the backyard

he just watches with raised eyebrows as you stumble back, your eyes widened in fright and your hand over your mouth

“y-you died! here! you’re a ghost!” you keep repeating to yourself, trying to find your sanity

yet all he can do is sigh, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, “i’ve been aware, captain obvious. and i can’t go anywhere else, so you can’t sell this house” he tells you, walking up to you and grabbing your arm to keep you steady, just in case you fell again

when you’ve seemed to calm down a few minutes later, you level a glare at him and shove his arm off, “i can’t just tell my boss that this house is off limits because it’s haunted. i’ll sound like a lunatic” “bring your boss here. i’ll scare the shit out of him, hm? problem solved”

but no matter what he says, you stand firm in your decision that the house has to go, and that he’ll just have to deal with it

after all, what was the worst he could really do?

lmao

had you been a lil wiser, you might’ve not asked the question

the months spent fixing up the house were torture for you

from tripping up carpenters, throwing screwdrivers at windows and using red paint to draw ominous messages on the walls, bambam refuses to back down

and the worst thing is, it seems like you’re the only one he’s allowing see him

bambam: *in the middle of drawing a pentagram on the floor* don’t sell the house

you: *furiously painting over the remaining drawings of “666″ and “the antichrist lives here”* fuck off

he’s so??? infuriating?? and he’s dead which makes it ten times as bad bc he never gets tired

but despite his efforts (and there were plenty), the house soon gets fixed up into a livable state, and it’s up to you to begin decorating and getting the house sold

and after a while, you become used to bambam

it took a while for you to formally introduce yourselves to each other, and while it was a bit,,,,, stiff, you both had since come to an agreement

he would comply and let the house be sold, staying out of the way, but he would pick the tenants

so reluctantly, you accepted

bad idea of course but ANYWAY

he’s picky about everything

“i don’t like them, too many kids” “but they only have one??” “one too many”

“no old people, i’m the only one who’s gonna haunt this place goddamn it”

“the wife hates dogs???? what the hell!!”

no matter who you bring in, he hates them all

if you find it hard deterring the tenants from taking the place after his disapproval, he’ll start banging pots in the kitchen, or randomly screaming from different parts of the house, or creating shadows to scare people away

he’s always finding something bad about each one, and as the days stretch on, your boss starts getting on you about selling the place, seeing as he’s put so much money into making it even slightly desirable after bambam’s death

after one particularly taxing day, you find yourself curled up on the bed upstairs, blanket tucked in comfortably around you as you come to

bambam is there next to you, staring up at the ceiling as you flip over in bed to face him

you ask him how long you’ve been asleep, and he tells you it’s only been a few hours, but it’s dark out

you’re halfway up and out of bed, mumbling that you should probably head home, when you feel bambam scoot a little closer

and then you feel his breath on your shoulder, and in surprise, you turn, coming face to face with bambam

he looks a lot different than usual, a sad look to his usually peppy disposition

“would it be... strange... if you stayed the night? i mean, you leave snacks in the pantry since you’re practically here from sun up to sun down, and the bed is comfortable, and i... i’d really like some company”

and it’s crazy, but you find yourself staying

he spills to you about his life that night, telling you all about how his life had been before he died, how he had tried to check up on his family but hadn’t been able to get very far, and about his plans for the future

you get an idea and give him your phone, and he pulls up the social media of all his family members, spending hours just pointing out the silly posts they’d made, showing you the instagram pics that he had taken with them in the past, and reading their eulogies to him

“thank you for that... i’ve always wondered how they’d been” he tells you, watching with fondness as you struggle to keep your eyes open much longer, you mumbling out a quiet reply of “of course”

quietly, he tucks you back into the bed and lays a soft kiss on your forehead, and had he been alive, his cheeks would’ve flushed at the contact

from that day forward, you start to feel closer to bambam

you two share stories of your lives, you being a young but somewhat lonely real estate agent, telling him about how you felt like your life was going nowhere fast

he comforts you, talking to you through work stress, or letting you drink your worries away with him after a bad date (the alcohol passes right through him, and he’s thankful for that seeing as when he was alive he was a terrible lightweight)

he becomes someone in your life that you don’t think you could live without, much to your shock

it’s a rainy night and you’re still finding yourself spending time with bambam, a bottle of soju in hand as you both talk about your day when he suddenly goes, “why don’t you live here? i think you’re the only person i could tolerate being around all day”

he half expects you to laugh it off, but as you swish the contents of the bottle back and forth with a thoughtful expression, his heart clenches

with hope??? maybe

“i’ve thought about it, actually. but i don’t know... that’s a pretty big step just to hang out with annoying ol’ you” you tease, nudging your foot into his side as he grins

“just think of me as a cool, dead roommate. when you’re away, i’ll guard the house. and i can keep up with chores and keep the place warm. i can even make you dinner”

the more bambam talks, the more the idea becomes appealing

and it’s true, you’re the only person bambam could stand

in fact, you’re the only person bambam would want

the amount of times he’s dreamt of coming home to you, embracing you and spending his nights with you every night like this, being able to see you in your warm, relaxed state... it makes him a lil thankful to whomever had put him here

because if he had continued to live the life he had before, he would have never met you

and he misses his family, but he knows they’re okay

he’s at peace, he’s content, and it’s all thanks to you

there’s something more there, he thinks, but he knows it’s wishful thinking

yet as you lean into him, your warm breath brushing his arm as you mull over your thoughts, such wishful thinking doesn’t seem so distant

“if i move in... you’ve got to promise not to pop in on me in the shower and stuff” “hm, no promises”

his fingers curl around yours as you hit him with your other hand, laughing melodically into his ear

“you’re terrible” you grumble, snuggling that much closer to him as you both watch the stars through the window

“mhm. love you” he mumbles, drawing his lip between his teeth as your heart stutters

your eyes dart to his even if only for a moment, your cheeks flushing in bashfulness

you breathe out, feeling his gaze on your face as you try to remind yourself just who you’re talking to, and what situation he’s in, “love you too... kid”

because it’s obvious

having feelings for him would be weird. it wouldn’t make sense. it would only end in heartbreak if he ever moved on to the afterlife, or if you ever found someone to start a family with. it was wishful thinking. it wouldn’t amount to anything...

...right?

you can’t really find the heart to believe yourself as his fingers squeeze around yours, and the night fades into warm hearts and stargazing, the promise of something strange, something good lingering right between you two as you drift into lovely daydreams of a boy who was just a little bit different from the rest

other ghost!got7

ghost!youngjae

ghost!jaebum

imaginary friend!mark

spirit!yugyeom

goblin!jinyoung

#majwrites #bambam scenarios #bambam imagines #bambam au #ghost!bambam #bambam #got7 scenarios #got7 imagines #got7 au #ghost!got7 #got7 #kunpimook bhuwakul #bambam fluff #got7 fluff

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10071991 · 5 years

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Lynn: