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plus-size-reader · 3 years

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Company

Huck Finnigan x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2340 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Huck developing feelings for the reader, a patient who is equally as unsure of herself as he is

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You woke up today as you did every day, in your room at the Lucia State Psychiatric Hospital, the light blaring in through the sliver separating the curtains.

It wasn’t a remarkable life.

If anything, it was boring and routine but at the very least, it kept you from hurting yourself. Besides, living in a facility like this wasn’t always bad. The food wasn’t too bad and you were allowed to bathe yourself, as long as you behaved.

For someone like you, it was an easy life. You had been hospitalised there due to a general diagnosis of melancholy, which made your family fear for your safety. Though, you always thought they just wanted to find somewhere to send you off to.

A young woman like you, unmarried and without prospects, was little more than a burden.

Some may have been upset about being sent off to stay in an institute like this one, taken away from everything they knew and left to die, but you didn’t see too much wrong with it. For someone like you, it wasn’t awful.

You were well taken care of, and even you had to admit that you were happier within these walls than you had been out there.

Not that all that change came from staying here alone.

In all the time that you had been staying in this place, you had found quite the interesting friend in a young orderly by the name of Huck Finnegan. He was interesting to you, as he was the sort of man who took care of other people even when it was difficult.

You knew that you didn’t have that much patience in your little finger, but he didn’t seem to have a problem with it. In fact, Huck seemed to get a special kind of joy from taking care of other people, including you.

He really seemed to like coming to see you.

He was constantly coming to visit you during the day, checking on you and making sure that you had everything you needed, which might not have seemed so strange. After all, it was his job to make sure that the patients here were taken care of.

However, while you thought that he was just doing his job at first, taking his turn to do the rounds, eventually, it was hard to believe.

It just didn’t seem plausible.

You knew for a fact that no one else ever took his place and when his visits came so frequently, it was becoming harder and hard to dismiss it as anything other than what it was.

Huck was sweet on you.

You didn’t really understand it, of course, and you weren’t entirely sure but there didn’t seem to be too many more reasons to be so attentive to another person. You certainly had never paid such close attention to someone else, unless you cared about them.

...And while it was possible you were way off base, it was a thought you couldn’t shake.

As far as you were concerned, someone like Huck would never be interested in you.

It didn’t make any sense to you, because you didn’t have anything to offer him. He was selfless and kind, thinking about others at all times and if the rumors were to be believed, he always had been.

Compared to all the things he’d done and all the people he’d saved, you looked like little more than a petulant child.

All things considered, you couldn’t have imagined him finding anything about you to love but in the months that you’d been here, something had certainly developed between you. While you weren’t sure what it was, it didn’t really matter.

You didn’t mind the company.

As far as the folks in this place went, you could have done a lot worse than a handsome war veteran.

If nothing else, he was a good person and talking to him was going to be much better for your mental state than the other patients.

Then, as if thinking about him had somehow encouraged the man’s entrance, there was a knock at your door.

“Good afternoon, can I come in?”

His words came as similarly as they did every day, meeting your ears in tandem with his knocking on the door. Technically, he didn’t have to do you the courtesy of knocking on the door or asking for entrance at all, but it was kind of him to do so.

It was a very human gesture, one that none of the other orderlies or nurses offered you.

Still, just as you did every day, you called out in affirmation, glad to see that Huck was one again coming to check on you. Of all the staff in the Lucia State Psychiatric Hospital, he was by far your favorite.

He was just so nice and polite.

...And it certainly didn’t hurt that he was more handsome than any man you’d ever seen.

Huck’s attractiveness went much deeper than his skin, which wasn’t altogether unattractive to begin with. It was just that the person he was, the person that lived within the skin was far too darling to ever let go of.

You really weren’t sure if you’d ever met a more wonderful person in your life.

“How are you today?” he asked, stepping into the room as casually as he could and closing the door behind him. You knew that this was one of those friendly visits, because you’d already had all your checkups and medicine that you would for the day.

He didn’t have any real reason to be here, but you were just as glad to see him anyway.

“I’m as good as I could be '' you shrugged, caught somewhere between being happy to see him and wishing that you could have met under different circumstances. When you really thought about it, you must have been crazier than any of them to think he could actually like you.

You were a patient of his.

You were out of your mind.

A man like Huck would never be interested in a chubby sad sack with nothing more to live for than walking around the hospital and doodling on your arm in pen. He was a hero, a beautiful soul, and someone you couldn’t have hoped to entice.

He was too good for you.

“Yeah? You’re doing alright? No distasteful thoughts or negativity this morning?” he hummed, doing the same thing he did every day, starting at the door with his arms folded behind his back. These visits always started off as clinical and professional as possible.

Though, before long, you knew well enough to know that Huck would be cracking jokes and smiling as if the two of you were little more than lifelong friends, catching up.

It was just the way this whole thing went.

“Nope, all good here” you teased, putting on your best cheesy grin as if that would somehow convince him. You did seem to be in good spirits today, compared to when you had a bad day, but that didn’t mean you were completely out of the woods.

If it was that easy to convince him, you wouldn’t have been here in the first place.

“Really, cause you kinda have that far off look in your eye again today” he prodded, relaxing a little further, just enough to let himself sit down on the far end of your bed.

It was a more intimate stance than he would ever take with another patient, not that he was going to tell you that. There was just something about you, and he felt really comfortable when he was with you.

Naturally, that kind of comforting energy made him much more calm and casual than he may have been otherwise.

Damn it.

You really didn’t want to tell him about the dreary realization you had just made but you knew well enough to know that Huck wasn’t going anywhere until you opened up and told him what was up.

By this point in your residence here, he knew you well enough to know when you had something on your mind.

“It’s no big deal. I just thought something was happening that wasn’t” you tried, keeping it as vague as you could while still telling him enough to satisfy him. Considering what you were here for, it was much better to just talk to him than it would be to talk to everyone else.

Nurse Ratched tried her best to be understanding of your condition, much more than Bucket ever had, but they didn’t come close to the bond you shared with Huck.

You knew that he wouldn’t judge you, for even your most embarrassing secrets, and thoughts.

He was a real friend in that way.

“Tell me” he prompted, using the guiss of his profession to get you to talk to him, though you both knew that this was more of a personal suggestion than a professional one. He wanted to bond with you, to help you be better in a real way, but it wasn’t really that easy.

Getting you to open up to him in that way would require him giving away all of his own secrets.

You sighed again, of course.

The two of you had a lot of history between you in all the time you’d been living here but in regards to the feelings you shared for one another, you just didn’t talk about it. It was much easier to just dance around them, avoiding speaking it into life at all costs.

Both of you were too terrified of rejection to put yourselves out there.

“Why do you come here to see me every day? I mean, you don’t bring anything or need to take the time out? What is it about me?” you asked, trying your best to keep your wits about you, desperately avoiding making a fool out of yourself.

From where you were sitting, it seemed like Huck could leave at any time and never come back. It just seemed like you were reading too much into this and you were scared that you were going to ruin the whole relationship you had going.

You were friends.

If you made some kind of suggestion here that offended him, there was a good chance you would hardly see him around here at all.

Huck seemed taken aback by your question at first, partially because he hadn’t been expecting it, and mostly because he wasn’t sure how to answer. After all, he knew exactly what it was about you and why he was sitting here right now, but putting it into words was hardly easy.

He hadn’t been expecting to get into this today.

“I guess I like your company” he decided, figuring that would be the best way to say it without offending you somehow. Huck wasn’t blind to the reality of what he was, or what he looked like, and he was terrified to suggest what he was thinking.

After all, a woman like you had no real reason to ever give a man like him the time of day.

He had seen himself in the mirror. Huck was well aware of what he looked like, and he was hardly a male model. At this point in his life, he considered himself lucky to be alive, and didn’t think too much about what he looked like, until now.

Where you were concerned, he was painfully aware of his outward appearance.

The two of you had that in common, because you couldn’t imagine any man, let alone a wonderful man like Huck ever falling for someone like you. It seemed as if, at this point, the only thing you two could agree on was the fact that you couldn’t admit how you felt.

It was hardly ideal.

“Well, I enjoy your company too” you smiled, content to leave it at that. However, Huck wasn’t quite ready to just call it there.

As terrified as he was to do what he was about to do, it seemed like if there was ever going to be a time to do it, it was now.

The two of you had been doing this whole thing, dancing around your feelings for each other for months, and he didn’t want to do it anymore.

He had to know if you felt the same, and your admission just now seemed like the push he’d been waiting for.

“This might be a little forward, and forgive me if it is, but would you like to join me for dinner tonight?” Huck tried, fidgeting light with his fingers as he did his best to get the words out.

This feeling was new for him.

He was used to being uncertain sometimes and uncomfortable with certain situations but this was something else entirely.

It actually felt like his heart may burst out of his chest, it was beating so fast.

...and you weren’t much better.

The idea of what he was asking you was insane. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to, of course, dinner with Huck sounded amazing.

There was just one problem.

You couldn’t exactly hit the town whenever you felt like it.

“I would love to, but you know as well as I do that I can’t just waltz out the door” you reminded, once again put in your place.

Huck could go out and get anyone he wanted. It just didn’t make sense that he wanted to wait around here with you. You could hardly imagine how something like that would even work.

Thankfully, Huck was already way ahead of you.

He already spent more time here than he did anywhere else, and making a few adjustments to his plans on your account wasn’t going to kill him.

If it meant that the two of you could be together, he would do whatever he had to.

“You let me worry about that” he hummed, not even bothering to hide the huge grin on his face. After all this time, he’d finally done it.

Huck got the date.

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servamp-musings · 3 years

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General Headcanons - Wrath and Greed pairs

Just some random headcanons for the Wrath and Greed pairs :) Next would probably be the Sloth pair and Team Melancholy. Hope it’s ok, and sorry about the long post 😅

Izuna Nobel

From a young age, Izuna had always loved taking things apart to see how they worked and put them back together again, although sometimes she ended up creating something else entirely using those parts.

Once she has an idea for an invention, she would spend most of her time pouring over it to the point she would forget to eat or sleep. Whilst no-one really stopped her from doing this before, Freya took it upon herself to bring snacks up or pry her Eve away from the workbench when it got too late at night.

When she has her mind set on something, it is very difficult to deter her. Even if her inventions fail, she always brushes it off with a smile and finds new ways to improve them.

As a child, her favourite books were those that involved stories of mythical creatures, their origins and how they helped or hindered the protagonist’s journey. She was ecstatic when she found out that they were real when she joined C3.

During days off, her activities range from shopping for clothes and everyday items to lazing at home with a good book or TV show. If she puts her mind to it, she is also a fairly decent cook.

Shuuhei and Misaki often helped her to improve her Japanese as they grew up but even though she has become fairly fluent, she still makes the odd pronunciation mistakes. This is particularly apparent if she is excited to talk about her interests/something she made and her words sometimes get jumbled, usually resulting in the person she’s speaking to asking her to slow down.

Freya

Freya is good at making various apple desserts, having been taught some recipes by her previous Eve. If she has the chance to, she would occasionally make some as a treat for Izuna, her Subclasses or her siblings if they were meeting up.

She actually finds the rain relaxing compared to sunny days and likes getting lost in thought as she listens to the sound of raindrops falling outside.

Both her and Doubt Doubt look intimidating but are not really once you get to know them. She is an easy person to talk to and tends to keep an open mind during conversations, trying to help if she can.

Despite how she looks, she is actually rarely angry and is often calm and collected. As the only female Servamp, she never had problem interacting with her siblings and is able to get along with all of them to a certain extent (with Lily, she often tries to find a way to help him become less scared of her).

Her favourite time of the day is early mornings, especially on misty days when the sun isn’t out so she could remain in her human form. If Izuna is awake, the two of them would go out for a walk in the park or have breakfast at a local café and watch people go about their daily business.

Since most of her Subclass were fallen soldiers, I feel like she may have been involved in a similar situation as them when she was human either as a commanding officer or a doctor.

Licht Jekylland Todoroki

He had absolutely brought random, smallish animals he found outside into his house or garden and spent the rest of the day with them whilst neglecting any tasks he was supposed to do until told otherwise.

When he was younger, Licht’s father arranged for a treehouse to be built for him in the garden. It soon became somewhere he’d like to go whenever he just wanted some peace and quiet or if he wanted some inspiration when writing poems.

As a pianist, he prefers to protect his hands and tries avoids doing activities that could damage them. Sometimes his curiosity gets the better of him though.

When he is not playing the piano, his mind often wonders back to it such as thinking about how he would play at this next performance and sometimes composes pieces. If he is idle, he would imagine playing and quietly hum how the piece would sound, although he would do this subconsciously at times too.

He often keeps a journal, noting down the day’s activities and any ideas or thoughts that may come to mind. He is also not bad at reading people, although sometimes gets distracted if his favourite food or animals are involved. This confuses Hyde to some extent, wondering how he could be so mature and act like child at the same time.

Licht has a sweet tooth but he likes fruit desserts the best, especially those that contain melon or berries.

Hyde

When Ophelia was his Eve, he picked up on a lot of skills she enjoyed doing due to the time they spent together, such as bread making and dancing. When him and Licht had finally came to an understanding, he shared some of these with him although finds it rather nostalgic.

He likes nature and walking through woods or forests when he has the chance to and recall past memories. If he ever goes with his Eve, the experience usually starts relaxing but ends up chaotic if he has to try and keep Licht from getting too distracted with the animals or if they got into an argument about something trivial. Even so, he often accepts this with a smile when thinking back on it.

Hyde actually knows a fair bit about music performance and for a period of time knew how to play the wooden flute, having been taught by one of his previous Eves.

He’s not a huge fan of sweet things but would eat a small portion if presented with it to be polite, especially when eating out.

When he makes Subclasses, he tends to allow them to keep their original names but if they wanted to change it, he often chooses a name from Shakespearean plays or literature.

Despite sharing the same initial thoughts as most of his siblings when another Servamp was made, he actually liked the sense of family the seven of them had with their creator. He was quite close to Freya and Ildio as they felt the same as him, probably contributing to the three of them sticking together during the decision to kill their creator or not.

#servamp #servamp headcanons #izuna nobel #servamp freya #licht jekylland todoroki #servamp hyde

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cherry-interlude · 3 years

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Lana Del Rey Unreleased Ranked (2)

This is a re-ranking of Lana's unreleased songs, after making a first a few years ago. This is all my opinion, which I don't mind anyone disagreeing with but don't come for me for it - honestly, I like every song, despite any criticism, and this ranking is very vague. It's based on objective and subjective opinion.

This is the second of five posts, going past my least favourites.

Money Hunny

Lana details the downside of money, detailing the ways it ruins lives and causes more problems that good for some. However, it’s simplicity isn’t what makes Money Hunny fall short – it doesn’t resonate at all compared to Lana’s countless songs where she is either rich and famous or she is desperate for money (or men with money). As thought-provoking as Money Hunny is, it feels too twee and out of place in her money-adoring music to really hit hard. If Lana has spoken on the topic of how money can literally damage lives more, it would perhaps gel better with me, but with songs like Money Power Glory, National Anthem and Off To The Races (among many, many others), it doesn’t hit the mark as a Lana Del Rey (alternate names included) song.

Strangelove

Strangelove is hypnotising, from Lana’s mesmerising voice that gives her the impression of a Las Vegas desert temptress, seducing strangers and wishing for the simple pleasures of Christmas lights and mint juleps. It hits best for the first opening chorus.

Stoplight Delite

Opening with a tuneful mechanical whir, Lana’s song wouldn’t be amiss in a teen romance film. I’m not convinced by the mishmash of music – the more classical band instruments with unrelenting whirring begins to overwhelm the song. Lana’s at her sweetest in this however.

Daddy Issues

The music is a bit too harsh but it’s a nice enough song, referencing Baby Blue Love among others. It isn’t Lana’s best by far, messy with lyrics that go all over the place, but (yet again), it would be more promising if it was completely remade and produced properly. The demo, I Was In A Bad Way, is a lot more maudlin and less enthusiastic, so it does fall behind Daddy Issues.

Catch and Release

It’s another song that’s kind of creepy, with an eerie vibe thanks to the relentless, whining music and Lana’s razor-edged warnings in her lyrics. Lana is practically a megalomaniac in this song, completely selfish and unafraid to ask for – and get – what she wants. Yet it’s quite a hypnotising track that, with further production, could be more cohesive and dramatic.

Marilyn

One of her old live performances, Marilyn is too simple in its lyrics but is a strangely erotic tribute to Lana’s icon. Lana owns the stage in this performance, a more carnal honouring than some of her other outputs.

Noir

Lana really goes for it in this furious song of crushed self-esteem and badly treated lover. Lana lets her vocals rip and tear as she growls about her “papi”, her being merely his dolly to do as he pleases. It's not her most perfect song but she doesn’t hold back from letting her hurt and frustration spill over.

Bellevue

Lana utilises haunting harmonising in Bellevue and though she seems hung up on her lover not wanting her around (she repeats it, as if she can’t let go, throughout the song) she still convinces herself she could go back to the old days of drinking and not being hurt. It helps – her chanting – to bring out the emotion of the lyrics, and maintain that broken feeling she is so good at conveying whilst saying how happy she is.

Put Your Lips Together

Taking on the character of a femme fatale who can hold her own, Lana seduces the listener on top of a chilled instrumental. Her lyrics are little bit dirtier as much as her vocals aren’t their best in the choruses (of course, it being a rough demo might have something to do with that). It’s definitely a song that, if completed, could rank alongside Beautiful Player and Ooh Baby in her seduction library.

Starry Eyed

Starry Eyed is a romantic enough song, with a gentle plinking intro that leads to a rumbling, Born To Die-esque track – complete with Lana’s pretty vocals. However, it does tend to drag, a slow song that I find majorly skippable. The dragged-out choruses get tiring after a while of listening so I don’t frequently listen to this song.

Breaking My Heart

Lana is fully materialistic in this song, referencing multiple designer companies as well as her desire to be loved and party. It’s not too imaginative in its lyrics, instead pure pop with a mixture of lyrics that never quite come through with a particular meaning, but it’s a good enough bop.

Butterflies Part 1

A little love song about a tumultuous teen romance, Lana plays off the lovestruck teen ultimately in love with a guy not good for her perfectly. It’s heady and full of the rushes of love, emotive enough to get the feeling of a girl going mad from her relationship.

Ben

Lana, using the rain to her advantages, moodily comforts her executive love in the full femme fatale façade, quietly passionate. Lana, as much as she loves him, is still her own woman, insisting she will smoke if she wants and playing with her voice to showcase such control.

All Smiles

Lana puts on a happy smile as she mopes over Jimmy in this small-town, fifties-painted tale of a girl who wants a man she can’t have. She mostly hits the mark in this acoustic track and has the right foundations for a decent country ballad.

My Best Days

My Best Days is a short song of cleverly utilised trap beats, autotune and slowly layering instrumental in which Lana isn’t happy without her lover. The organ outro is gorgeous, and it’s a track that can perk you up or calm you down.

Get Drunk

Restless pace, whispered mocking and an overall darkly seductive tone – it’s unembellished and, in some ways, could play as Lana dealing with her past alcoholism (demanding whomever the song is directed to should get drunk). It’s a vibe Lana should explore more over a decade since Get Drunk and the like were made.

Let My Hair Down

A simple and spooky track, Lana has an acoustic jam session consisting of unsettled guitar, bongos and her voice. It’s rather repetitive but it’s something different that works well. It shows Lana doesn’t need too many fusses and frills on her tracks to make something captivating, much like her Sirens album.

Every Man Gets His Wish

The intro of upbeat whistling climbs into a lowkey track that goes from sensual stuttering and a sad chorus that still sounds like Lana has a smile on her face. The mood shifts along with the tune but it is altogether cohesive.

Dance For Money

As stripped as the pole dancer Lana plays, Lana gently teases and cajoles in her ode to older men, lemonade and motorcycles with little else.

Back To Tha Basics

Much like the title, this track is a little bit basic but it’s still zesty with a wonderful instrumental and some pop-inspired vocals.

Butterflies Part 2

Production isn’t perfect on this track but Lana has such promise in this song in which she compares to lured in girls to butterflies pinned to a wall, all at once melancholy, knowing and cheeky. It’s unfortunate that the lyrics are so hidden beneath the dominating instrumental, but with tweaking this stormer could be even better.

Children of the Bad Revolution

The kind of song that would be found on one of her albums, Children of the Bad Revolution is a pacy dedication to Lana’s life as a delinquent a la the 1950s starlets. It’s good but it’s not anything too impressive, instead a chilled track that is simply about being free.

Beautiful Player

Lana mopes in the track about a somewhat disliked girl (perhaps they’re all jealous of her) who is in love with one of her players, giving the feel of a villain club performer smiling with red lipstick on and black mascara staining her cheeks.

Lift Your Eyes

Lana takes control in this song, instructing her lover to lift his eyes, rise above his demons and join her in self-respect. It’s a fine alternative to her gushing and moping characters, and with machine-like music running under the song, Lana sounds stronger than ever.

Valley of the Dolls

In this compact track Lana is once again frustrated by her lover. It’s pained but pretty with her vocals once again taking the forefront.

C U L8r Alligator

Just an acapella demo, C U L8r Alligator is simply Lana’s voice with her beating a rhythm in time. However, I really do like this song. I think it would sound even better polished and complete, but for a rough demo it’s promising. The Kristijan Majic remix is the version I most listen to, which makes it sound even more eerie (and if anyone remembers the D1ETPUSSY video that went with it, you’ll get why this song doubly haunts me). It’s not Lana’s finest but it’s a song I would have loved to see developed.

In The Sun

In The Sun is so hot it burns, more heatwave than refreshing sunshine, as she scorns her ex-lover. It’s not the finest instrumental but Lana sticks her fingers up with incredulous shock that someone could betray her so. She keeps the vibe great paired with blue skies and swimming pools with the upbeat music.

Hot Hot Hot

Big Bad Wolf, a slightly different demo track, is what I favour – stripped back, sexily uneasy, the lyrics letting the vivid imagery of red skirts, red cars and devilish men shine. Yet Hot Hot Hot is a decent, if not cheesier, song too, the chanting great for singing along.

Trees

Lana and The Rich Whores strike out with this kickass band-driven track that showcases Lana’s feistier vocals strongly. The lyrics are sparse but the overall feel of Lana going nineties-rock-chick keeps me wanting more of her in this style.

Push Me Down

Rather than being like the controversial Ultraviolence, Lana keeps the ‘violence’ fun in this pacy song, demanding her bad boy treats her badly in the best way possible. With a mildly rock edge, it’s still distinctively party-Lana, reminding of a pop-ier True Love On The Side.

She’s Not Me

It isn’t particularly imaginative pop but Lana lets the guitars do the talking as she whispers her warnings to her ex-lover. Lana owns this track, and though it feels a bit amateur in comparison to her discography and some of her stronger unreleased music, it shows she would have been great even if she went for the noughties chart pop scene. Fun and punchy, it’s a song to play on repeat.

I Don’t Wanna Go

The tentative and tight intro gives me the vibe that Lana wants to avoid going home rather than simply wanting to hang out with her lover, and her pain-tinted vocals in the chorus only add to the theory. She compliments her fascinating guy throughout the verses, a little more restrained but ultimately tense in delivery, before confessing how much she wants to stay out.

St Tropez

This is a great track for dancing and a celebration of being a party girl with plenty of attention. Best played when you want to imagine yourself as the main character.

Summer of Sam

Lana has yet another song of being a cutesy bad girl, comparable to the likes of Dangerous Girl and Playground, but it’s still fairly generic, standard pop fare. Summer of Sam is still quite fun however, drenched in pop and even with a hint of rap-talking keeping the song lively.

I Talk To Jesus

Lana returns to her religious roots in a less blasphemous way (Body Electric, for example) and instead sings a sad ditty about wishing she could have her old life. Solemnly it remembers her past (as seen in her older music) where she had the trailer parks, Christmas lights and her equally holy boyfriend.

Axl Rose Husband

The imagery is rich and gorgeous, not to mention the reference to one of Lana’s idols, but Axl Rose Husband doesn’t always do it for me – despite her strained, desperate vocals that perfectly exemplify her emotion.

Ooh Baby

Sampling Sexual Healing, Lana ramps up the sex appeal as she lets the listener know how much they want her, all while keeping it a little but more upbeat than the original song.

Other Woman

Lana’s tired of being the other woman in this track, and I like the way the lyrics flesh out the story a bit more rather. However, the chorus does get a bit tiresome sometimes.

Girl That Got Away

Lana shows you exactly what you’re missing as she mopes for her ex-lover with a smile on her face, taking the reins and knowing she has something he misses in a bubble-gum pop song about being the it girl you’ll regret letting go of.

#lana del rey #lana del rey songs #lana del rey unreleased #cherry-interlude

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bonsai62 · 3 years

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Part 1: The Compatibility between Pisces and Capricorn

Hello everyone! Today, since I am hella bored and have nothing to do this fine evening, I am going to talk about the relationship between our two boys; Yuji and Megumi and how much they represent their signs so much.

Before I get started, I am not going to talk about their sex life even though it’s kinda important if you are into astrology, however, for this case I won’t because both of them are minors. But if you want to read more about their comparability then be my guess and look at the underline links. I will provide links in the discussion so you can have a better understanding on how the signs are and use manga pages for you to visually see it.

Also, excuse my English. I am very bad at it! Even though it’s my first language I still have lots of errors in my writing!

Also beware of manga spoilers too!!

Let’s get started on this very long essay!

Traits of a Pisces: Itadori Yuji

Positive: Compassionate (top), empathetic (middle), & creative (bottom)

We also have: Warm/gentle, caring, intellectual, animal lover, and romantic

Here we have the positive side of a Pisces and let me tell you it screams Yuji so damn much. Yuji is such a compassionate guy. I don’t think I have never seen a character who is very compassionate like Yuji (I have but we are talking about Yuji here lol). He can empathize with a whole lot of people and no matter what the situation is he understands. Yuji doesn’t need to have the same experience as someone because he can feel and get in their head to make him understand what their going through. Which brings me to that he has a really high empathy level when it comes to people (I can relate a lot because I have the same thing). However, having a lot of empathy isn’t all that’s cracked up to be but I’ll talk about it soon.

A Pisces is also very creative and they love hobbies. One of Yuji’s favorite hobbies is, I have a feeling is sports but that just based on what his old school thought of him + the baseball game. Plus cooking! Cooking is an amazing hobby and it lets you get creative with your hands and skills! I like to imagine that he is the best cook throughout the school and loves to share with his classmates and have them rate his cooking lol! Cooking is also a relief of stress so I can also imagine him having a bad day and just ends up being in the kitchen.

Now....

Negative: Overly emotional (top), impressionable (bottom), closed off (middle)

I messed up the order lol

We also have: melancholy, lazy, stubborn, moodiness, etc

Yuji is a very emotional person. We have seen him at his best and at his worse. He is such an emotional person that he felt bad for killing Choso’s brothers. His emotions gets the best of him when Junpei died, Megumi was hurt, seeing what Sukuna has done in Shibuya, and Nanamin/Nobara getting destroyed by Mahito. It’s an unhealthy feeling because we’ve seen Yuji get distracted with his injured friends and him kinda fucking up on his fighting. Another unhealthy trait that Yuji had is not talking about himself. We’ve seen him not talk about his feelings and I mean personal deep feelings that’s always going to be in the back of his head. Like when Megumi knows that something happened to Yuji but Yuji simple doesn’t want to talk about and closes it. He doesn’t really like talking about himself and rather hear other people/helping other people rather than face his own demons. If he’s facing his own demons, he rather be doing it on his own.

I also want to point out that many people think that he gets over people’s death hella easily. No... that is not true whatsoever. The boy has been through so much trauma that eventually you just get so tired of crying about it and you don’t have the energy anymore, you eventually start telling yourself “it is what it is” or “what can I do now?”. Noabra is a perfect example. He didn’t need to cry because he had the biggest mental breakdown when it happened. So when he asked Megumi about her status... he just had to say “alright”.

In my theories... she is definitely alive. Again, Gege is playing half of you guys. She is gonna pop out in the next couple of chapters or even the one coming up next.

Another things that I find interesting in Yuji which according to the links I put, Pisces tend to trust people easily:

Ease of being cheated: A desire to see the best things in other people makes the Two Fish very impressionable individuals. They trust others without any suspicions and often suffer from their frivolity. Any pressure of stronger people is accepted as a command for them and they easily agree with them without any doubts.

For instant, Todo and Choso. Those two mf were about to kill him but they didn’t because of what Yuji’s mind fuck did (I know Gege sensei said that isn’t a theory but still it’s mind fuck lol) He instantly call Todo his best friend like I can hear Nobara (Big sis) twitching somewhere lol. Whenever I think of Yuji and Todo’s relationship, I think of Vinny and Paula D from Jersey Shore haha!

Any who, while trusting people isn’t a bad thing, you still don’t know what their intentions are and everything. It’s a very naive thing to do.

But I felt for Yuji and Choso... Yuji didn’t have much of a choice...

I would like to know what changed Yuji’s mind into staying with Choso. I’m curious how Yuji “trusted” being with Choso after everything that went down. Yuji is a very forgiving character too (minus Mahito). But now, I think we can see that Choso has no bad intentions towards Yuji because he “might” be his brother. And their so cute too!!

On to our other boy!

Traits of a Capricorn: Megumi Fushiguro

Positive: Resourcefulness (top), discipline/patient (middle: also thank @pantherbeamish for the photos!), and reliability (bottom)

We also have: Responsibility, loyalty, diligence, team player, etc

Megumi is a very interesting character. Whenever I see him I get more interested in him. He is exactly what you would describe a Capricorn. We have seen Megumi be resourceful when it comes understanding how curse energy works thanks to him. He is very detailed when it comes to explaining and also a very patient man when Yuji, who doesn’t know jack shit about the Jujutsu world. Never, not once, does Megumi call Yuji an idiot for not knowing all these things. That’s what makes him amazing because if it were other Shonen mangas, the “rival” would’ve called Yuji an idiot. The only time Megumi ever calls Yuji an idiot is when Yuji literally does or says something stupid. To me, that is normal and not being a dick about it because we all know that if we had a friend like Yuji we would’ve stared at him like “why are you like this...”

It’s me... I’m a lot like Yuji lol

But no, he is very patient and tries to explain everything to Yuji as best as he can. I have this thing where almost everyone relies on Megumi a lot because he’s a serious guy + very responsible with his tasks. We see Maki trusting Megumi too. Like the time when Megumi was hyping Yuji up saying he can beat everyone in the Kyoto school if they didn’t use curse energy (something like that lol). Yuji also can confirm himself that Megumi is very reliable. He mentioned it while back at the prison because both sibling duo thought they were lost.

Negative: Sensitivity (top), seriousness (middle), reservation (bottom)

We also have: Unforgiving, criticism, suspicion, pickiness, etc

Just like Yuji, we have seen Megumi’s negative side a lot but it’s simply because he’s sensitive and thinks logically. Sometimes, I also feel like he thinks through his heart as well but that’s just me. That is where the sensitivity comes along. Megumi is hella sensitive he doesn’t need to show it because you can feel it.

In the article:

Sensitivity: It is better not to offend Capricorns who are very sensitive people. They can’t stand being laughed at and remain serious in public but feel badly deeply in their souls. Even a minor joke can result in resentment from their side!

In many, many occasions we have seen everyone fucking around or getting on Megumi’s nerves, especially in our recent Jujustroll where Gojo is saying a bunch of nonsense and embarrassing tf out of Megumi. His seriousness gets in the way and that’s what makes him sensitive.

On the side note: I also wanted to add something. As I was reading a few articles, some mentioned that Capricorns are... bland. Please, Capricorns!! No me ataques! I just find it interesting that someone, like Todo, who thinks Megumi is boring. Todo honestly thought he was boring since he first asked him what was his type and while Megumi gave us the best answer, Todo expected something more fun. But no, it was boring. Also, Megumi lives a simple life. Now, I’m not saying that Megumi is boring because as a matter of fact I like how simple he is. He likes to keep things neutral. Personally, on his activities he is considered “bland” and honestly, I can see why but I would still go out my way to enjoy it with him if I was his significant other lol I also feel like he has a good sense of style in fashion. I’m saying that judging from the official arts + “Lost In Paradise” because in that ED Megumi be looking like a bowl of fruits. A bowl of snacks lmao!

But, anyways! Megumi is also reserved to himself. He does not like talking about himself at all (hon hon does that sound like someone?). He doesn’t open up to a lot of people but I kinda feel like he does with Gojo but that’s just because Gojo raised him and he just knows when Megumi is feeling a certain way. Also, I bet Gojo just knows when Megumi is having a bad day too. We witnessed him just being in his own bubble in the current arc that is happened in the anime. Yuji and Nobara calls him out about him being so reserved to himself. He does eventually tells them what is going on, but it takes a lot for a Capricorn to open up and it’s totally understandable. I feel as if you want a Capricorn to open up, you have to let them give you time for them to get to know you. Give them your intentions and put in the effort to make them trust you.

Now in to the fun part!!

1. Trust:

Positive:

Articles 1: They will often understand each other well enough to respect their relationship and keep it clear of dishonesty

I’m a use this imagine again btw because this speaks their relationship clearly

I think what I truly love about their relationship and love the idea of them being an endgame is the trust that they have for one another(even though someone is gonna die). They barely knew each other for 2 months and their chemistry is off the mf charts.

The picture above isn’t just them having an eye opening moment but the fact that they trust each other to save one another.

Megumi had saved Yuji so many time

Yuji had also saved Megumi so many times

Tbh, when I was thinking about Megumi coming in to save Yuji from Yuuta and Naoya, I thought it would be the same as when Yuji saved Megumi and Maki from Hanami, but we got something better. We got to see Megumi never doubting Yuji and always making sure that he gives him as many chances as he gives. I hope that sparks a realization for Yuji because sometimes I always felt that he doesn’t really acknowledges Megumi doing a whole lotta things for Yuji. I’m still complaining about it because if he can say “thank you, best friend” to Todo or “thank you, Kugisaki, for letting me know that I am not alone” to Nobara, then he should definitely see how much Megumi gives a fuck about him.

I expect a “thank for being by my side and never doubting me” for Megumi.

Articles 2: Pisces, who prefers to hand off important decision-making to dominant Capricorn, feeds into the goat’s need to be in control. On the flip side, Capricorn trusts Pisces to attend to its emotional needs—something that can be very difficult to allow at first.

This is interesting because a lot of the time Megumi is always making the plans and the choices. I feel like Yuji tends to rely on Megumi a lot because Yuji respects the way Megumi thinks (I’m not saying he doesn’t do that with anyone either).

Another thing is that:

“Capricorn trust Pisces to attend to its emotional needs-something that can be very difficult to allow at first”

I want to use Yuji asking Yuuta to kill him if Sukuna comes out especially for Megumi’s sake as an example of “emotional needs” because we see that Yuji does not want to be anywhere near Megumi because of Sukuna. In Yuji’s emotional state, he would rather have Yuuta kill him than Megumi. A lot of people also have this head canon that the reason why he asked Yuuta to kill him instead of Megumi is because Megumi already has a lot on his plate or something. I forgot the theory lol

But... I have a feeling that Megumi is gonna end up killing Yuji at the end because it should be him...

But yes,

Let’s see where things end with the current event that is happening now.

But unfortunately, I have to stop right here because Tumblr only allows 10 images in one post. Tragic!

I do hope you guys enjoy and please comment if I’m missing anything with them! Let’s hope I won’t take long with part 2 because I’m hella busy at times! Overall, tell me what you guys think!

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen manga #jjk anime #jjk #jjk manga #itadori yuji #fushiguro megumi #anime #manga #soulmates #I love them #our babies #please I’m just rambling and I make no sense #itafushi #fushiita

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earlysunsetsoverambrose · 3 years

Text

Carefree Highway (2/2)

Lester Sinclair x f!Reader

Warnings: Cursing

The two of you got into Lester’s truck and took off down the road, out of Ambrose. Neither of you spoke, but it wasn’t at all awkward. It felt safe – comforting, even. You leaned up against the door, gazing out of the window as the world passed by. The radio quietly hummed an old folksy tune you didn’t know, but somehow still felt nostalgic. The rumble of the road beneath the wheels and the gentle rattling of Lester’s dash décor almost began to sound like a lullaby.

You didn’t know how much time had passed before Lester pulled his truck into the empty parking lot of an abandoned truck stop. You observed your surroundings. The few neighboring buildings were as dark as the night encircling it. The only signs of life were the cars passing by on the highway nearby, the ramp to join it was right in front of you. Lester parked facing away from the highway and ushered you to get out with him. You silently took his lead, curious what he was getting up to. He pulled down the door to the bed of his truck and helped you up. He followed after and sat next to you, offering up a kind smile as he situated himself at your side. He turned to look where the highway cut through the horizon. You turned to follow his eyes, watching drivers pass right by without a second thought. Though it was incredibly peaceful, you wondered why Lester had chosen to bring you there.

“Lester, what are we doing here?” you asked quietly, worried you might be ruining some form of meditation for him. He turned toward you with that smile that warmed your heart, up to your cheeks.

“This is my favorite place in the wide world, Y/N!” He told you eagerly, “Never been a bad day I couldn’t make better by sittin’ right here a while.”

You turned back to gaze at the stretch of highway that Lester apparently loved so well. You were honored that he wanted to share this place with you, but you didn’t understand what made it so special.

“But I thought the interstate and highways like this were a part of Ambrose being abandoned. Doesn’t that make you angry?” you asked, genuinely wanting to understand.

“Ambrose was a nice town and I was sad seein’ it left like it was, but it wasn’t never like what my brothers say. ‘Sides, nothin’ lasts forever, right? No use holdin’ a grudge.” Lester said, “Now, Bo and Vinny, they could spend their whole lives angry at people for leavin’, but that’s just what people do. Can’t blame people for movin’ to greener pastures. Everyone wants better days, nothin’ wrong with that.”

“I guess I can understand that.” You said turning to face him once more.

“Since the two of them can’t stand lookin’ at this thing, I come here when I don’t wanna be found.” Lester told you, a content smile gracing his features, “I like it. I like watching the world go by. It’s nice knowin’ there’s people out there, livin’ their lives, ya know? Movin’ forward, and all.”

“Do you feel like you can’t move forward?” you asked quietly, scooting closer to him. Lester took a moment to think.

“I don’t wanna change nothin’, really. I like what I got and I’m good with where I’m from.” He started, “But I sure do wish Bo and Vincent would move on instead of back, sometimes. Ambrose is all they ever had and they came back soon as they could. I can’t help thinkin’ maybe they mighta traded somethin’ better for what they already knew they got. I dunno, maybe that makes me a rotten brother.”

“Don’t say that, Lester.” You pleaded. You placed your hand over his, giving it a light squeeze, “You’re a wonderful brother, you’d do anything to help the two of them, and you never ask for anything in return. You could be any place, living any number of lives, but you stuck by them and you’re still here.”

“Shoot, Y/N. You don’t gotta say that.” Lester said, rubbing his neck with his free hand and blushed as his eyes darted away from yours, bashfully.

“Yes, I do, how else would you know, how incredible you are?” you asked as you lifted his arm to wrap around you as you melted into his side. Lester stiffened at your proximity at first, but soon relaxed into your embrace, savoring your warmth against him. You both continued to watch as cars made their way past you. The sound of the air whipping over their hoods echoing louder as they neared and fading into the distance behind them. You spoke again, “I’m glad you’re here. You’re the absolute best part about this place, Les. There’s no way I could survive without you. Especially since I can’t hunt or kill to save myself. I’m really quite useless.”

Lester shifted in your grasp, a small grimace passing over his face at your words. He was elated you liked having him around so much, but you belittling yourself for failing to kill, deeply troubled him.

“Listen, I know Bo is mad that ya let that girl go and that he made ya feel real lousy ‘bout it,” Lester said, “But I’m glad ya didn’t kill her.”

“Even though it got you punched in the face?” you said half joking, half bitter at your failure.

“Yeah. A punch to the nose is nothin’ compared to how it feels knowin’ you was the reason somebody’s dead. Trust me, ya don’t want that.” Lester said trying to sound cheerful, but failing as his voice wavered over his words.

“Lester…why are you saying this?” you asked in a whisper, concern rising in your eyes at seeing the melancholy in his.

“Me, I got used to it. I just try not to think ‘bout it, cause if I do, I start to remember how much it don’t sit right.” Lester continued, his voice shaking, “So, I’m glad ya froze. Ya care – ya let the human in ya have a say. Not much of anythin’s felt human about Ambrose in a long time, and I don’t just mean Vinny’s wax figures.” Lester moved to swipe his sleeve across his face, trying to stop himself from crying in front of you, “I never knew anyone could be so nice or sweet or gentle, ‘specially with me, ‘til I met you. And I sure never seen anyone so damn pretty! When ya came into town, ya brought the biggest heart I ever known along with ya and you’re still holdin’ on to it after all this time. I think that’s a good thing. No matter what Bo says, just please don’t let him scare ya into bein’ heartless like me.”

“Lester,” you swiftly cupped his face in your hands, rubbing your thumbs along his cheeks to catch his tears as they fell, “Don’t think for a second that you lost your heart. You are the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful person I know. When I stumbled into Ambrose, I had nothing and no one. I was terrified, but you reached out to me without hesitation. Bo scares me to this day and Vincent still won’t speak to me, but you managed to make your home my home. No one could take the good out of you. You’re so good, Lester. I honestly don’t know how you got to be this good.”

“I ain’t any good, Y/N.” he said as he placed his hands over yours, still resting on his face, “I’m just tryin’ to be for ya.”

“That’s more than enough.” you whispered with a tearful smile. Lester’s soulful eyes glanced back up to you at your words. Without a second thought, you drew his face close to yours and pressed your lips against his. You felt him gasp against your lips as you closed your eyes and deepened your kiss. His eyes soon fluttered shut, surrendering to you completely, moving his hands to pull you closer. You slowly pulled your lips away, your heart racing in time with his. You rubbed his cheek as he relaxed under your touch, “You’re everything I could ever need or want, Lester. You’re my home and I love you.”

Lester beamed at your words, his smile putting all the constellations in the sky above you to shame. He could hardly believe what he was hearing, but he was so happy he could cry all over again. He could ask why you love him. He could argue a million ways how he wasn’t nearly good enough. He could pretend he didn’t feel the same to spare you the imposition of his presence. But what a waste that would have been. Who was he to question your word? You never, ever lied to him before. You said you loved him and so he believed you wholeheartedly.

“I love ya too, Y/N.” Lester told you, pulling you into his arms, trapping you against his chest, “I love ya so much more than I ever loved anythin’. And I’m gonna spend every day tryin’ to do right by ya. I swear.”

“Can we stay here a little longer?” you asked, never wanting to leave this moment behind.

“Forever and then some, if ya like.” Lester said, brushing some hair from your face.

You stayed like that for a while, cradled in his arms. Eventually, you both shifted your gazes to look out on that stretch of highway. This was beginning to become your favorite place in the world too. You watched as each car sped by, headlights like shooting stars within your grasp. You wondered if someday, in the distant future, it might be you and Lester driving past new lovers in old ghost towns like this. Rolling down the highway with only one destination in mind: forward.

#lester sinclair x reader #lester sinclair #House of Wax #house of wax 2005 #my writing #bo sinclair #vincent sinclair #slasher x reader #slasher imagine #carefree highway #tw: cursing #female reader

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1iliketrains1 · 3 years

Text

* Someone has to take care of these flowers.

A short drabble on what could come after Undertale.

———

Golden flowers stare back at you, practically glowing in the spot of sunlight shining unto them, despite the dark and cold of the cave all around. You move, unflinching in their gaze, but you can feel the ghost of a presence by you.

You sit, facing the flowering patch. The weight of your backpack feels heavier now, despite not having to hold it up anymore. You reach for it, revealing a watering can, a tumbler, and your polaroid camera inside. There’s enough film inside, though not as much as you would’ve wanted.

The “garden” is bigger now, but these guys are resilient. Even now the original blooms survived, despite your fall, despite everything. That’s not the only addition.

One, two stones beside each other, right in the middle. Each marked with names you remember so well, yet haven’t really known at all. There’s no painting or fountain or anything to celebrate them here, just two stones. Two graves.

You wonder what they might’ve been like, back then. You wonder what was the same, what was different. It’s not a secret wish, or a request, or anything. Just wistful thinking. You may want to know who they were, but... they deserved a rest, after everything. They deserve some peace.

Taking out the tumbler and can, you start transferring the water to the latter. You brought them for a reason after all, you want to take care of these flowers. They’re important to someone, to you.

You do have to focus on not spilling anything, but your mind can’t help but drift off anyways. You stop pouring, staring down at the uncapped tumbler, it’s clear body showing the half-empty half-full glass. Was it more empty, or full? You didn’t know, so you just started saying both. It’s supplied to determine your personality or something, but you never cared for that.

Actually, you don’t really care about your personality much at all. Not that you don’t like who you are- the opposite actually. You like yourself perfectly, but you couldn’t care less about all the labels and adjectives people use, or well, people say you should use when you’re trying to describe yourself. You’d much rather just say you’re— you, and be done with it. If only it was that simple.

It was easier to talk to other people about their things, to talk about other people. You think that’s called having a good judge of character, but again, you don’t care that much for specifying on that stuff when it comes to yourself.

You look up, changing your view from your tools to the stones once more. You have a lot of thoughts on both of them, for example. On who they are- were, whatever. You never knew him for that long, but you thought you met him for long enough. And there was always the other one that you knew much more about (comparatively).

Asriel... you think of him as... the moon, probably. He’s quiet, but always there despite that. Or he tries to, anyway. He’s empathetic, understanding, but maybe a little too much. He’s always in someone’s shadow, or reflecting someone, being around. But that’s maybe because he’s scared, scared of being alone. Scared of being unwanted. At the same time, he wants to know everything about everyone around him, he wants to be in control of something. That part reminds you a lot of the dark side of the moon, with how most people don’t know anything about it, but they want to, they need to just because they need to. He was a martyr, sometimes even if he really didn’t need to be; he tried to be a hero in a story that didn’t have a villain, not a true one.

But at the same time, he glowed despite it all. He’s a steady rock, one that you know will always have your back, for better or worse. He might be part of the aura of others, but he’ll make it of his own, to spread just as much as he used. He’s soft, maybe a bit of a pushover, but he knows how to get back up eventually, he knows how to toughen up. He’s like the cold comforts of winter, snuggling up with warm hugs and warmer drinks, singing songs by the fire. He’s equally like the heat of summer, spending days of fun and joy, new friends you meet as you walk along in the busy streets... that fluffy fur, untamable by a brush despite the obvious care put into it otherwise. The paws that felt cold to touch, yet you knew that they were never stiff even if you’d press on the beans. His lopsided smile, despite how much trouble he says he’s caused, or at the end, when he finally felt like he could breathe... There’s so much more, but...

You don’t continue filling your can as you pause, it’s already full by now. You instead cap your tumbler and place it back in your bag, pushing it to the side so you don’t trip over it as you water the shining flowers.

You think you never were that close to Asriel. You pieced things together for sure, and you talked to him a bit, but you guys never really became friends per say. You gave him the title, but he was really just walking on the outskirts of one.

It was a little sad to think about, but it didn’t matter. You couldn’t really stop though, as much as you tried to steer your brain away from it. You wished you could’ve hung out more, like—

Them.

If he was the moon, they were the sun. They were bright and sharp and soft at the same time, radiating energy and so, so much love. Their sun-kissed curls shone in the day, framing their face and it’s light freckles that you only noticed when you looked closely. The brown eyes that also looked red like velvet at the same time, mischievous as their smile. Their hands, looking rough, yet always offered to you with only kindhearted feelings. You were only with him for a few moments, but they stuck by you through almost it all.

They weren’t perfect, for sure. They were forceful at times, giving unhelpful advice and directions, sometimes not at all, making fun of you when you hurt and fell. They were mean, and they didn’t care for you at first, didn’t care for anything. They rooted against you, tried to fight you even if they didn’t know how. They were heat, and heat burned. They hated you, and you didn’t know why. Not at first. You still treated them as nice as you could, because of that. You wanted to understand them, not treat them as if being hurt is all there is in the world.

So they stopped. So both of you worked to be better. You had your own issues, and you had to get through that too, but they helped you with that just as you did for them.

Asriel was the moon, and they’re the sun. They shined bright, on days good and bad, they went forward with determination, ambitions high and a presence that never seemed to leave unless it was made to. They came through, they pushed you into change, they helped you up and helped you go. They’ll make you smile, make you feel, all because they want you to carry on. They’re spring, with flowers and butterflies and light. With reasons to live, with reasons to look around and see that things can work out. They’re part of the sky; the clouds that look like anything and everything, a path that you can shape out for yourself. That starry twinkle shows things beyond the both of you, but knowing that means there’s always something to continue forward to, there’s always more for you. They’re like getting into bed and feeling the lull of sleep, and not worrying about missing anything because everything will be there tomorrow, and tomorrow, there’ll be someone waiting for your next adventure.

The silence is the first thing you notice. The second is the weightlessness of your watering can. The third is how water is dripping unto the graves despite that. After that is...

You can feel the heat of your cheeks, your heart pounding into your ear. Your grip loosens, and the can falls into the flowers. Both will be okay. They’re tough, after all.

You bring a hand to your face and wipe some of the tears already trailing off your face, yet you stay silent throughout that. You sniffle as you continue, but you don’t understand why you got worked up in the first place. Your heart aches in a way that you know isn’t physical. Your soul feels worn out but full of life at the same time.

Eventually, you quiet down. Instead of the emptiness you thought you would’ve felt, you feel... lighter. As if a weight was lifted from your soul. A melancholy engraved in your very being, while not gone, was lessened.

You never realized how you never felt anything before, when coming here.

You never tried to feel anything.

You pack up as quietly as you came, but not before taking your polaroid and snapping a picture, just as you’ve done every time you’ve come here. It was time to return to the busy buzz of life, the fickleness of time. To those you love, to the summers and springs, and the moon and sun.

As you leave, the bubbling feeling of bittersweet happiness stays.

As you leave, you don’t notice the faint smiles and held hands of the ones who stayed behind.

To them, maybe, just maybe— you could be the stars.

You’re there, with infinite potential, just out there. You’re a sun to someone, a moon to someone else, you’re like the clouds and the snow and everything in the world, anything you want to be. And maybe it’s something new to you, maybe something no one else can see, but you’re you to yourself so that doesn’t matter. It’s okay.

You’re more than enough.

———

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endless-vall · 4 years

Text

I can’t lose you again - part I - Nostalgia - Dakota x MC fanfic

Summary: Alex returns to Edenbrooks after years of not being there. Everything has changes but stayed exactly the same. She can’t help but seeing Dakota everywhere she goes.

Authors note: After talking with @blue-sappir I finally decided to write & post this fic. It’s definitely bittersweet. Read at your own risk 😊

This fic will have two more parts. You can read the next part here.

Hope you enjoy!

Alex stood in front of the entrance to Edenbrook.

She hadn’t been there in years.

Well, she’d visited a couple of times when her mother still worked there, but it’s been a few years since she last stepped foot inside that hospital.

Alex had finished her Oncology fellowship in a different hospital when Edenbrook rang and offered her a job.

All the other benefits they suggested paled in comparison to the memory of Dakota. Of course she was going to take the job there.

Today was her first day. Alex have lived a full life, following every dream she had, making every desicion worth-while, never daring to leave anything to wonder ‘What if?’.

And it’s been a great journey. She had fallen in love a few times. None ever like the other. But her first love, Dakota, will always hold a dear place in her heart.

Edenbrook brought Alex her first grand love story. Maybe it’ll be the place to bring her her second one. The one that’ll she finally settle with.

Taking a deep breath, Alex stepped in. She was met with a familiar face, although she did look older now.

“Harper Emery. We spoke on the phone. You must be Alex?” Harper extended her hand.

“In the flesh.” Alex smiled and shook Harper’s hand.

“Welcome aboard.”

Alex spent her day getting to know the hospital all over again. So much had changed, but there were still many things that remained the same.

She got to know her new patients, her interns, her residants, and everybody on her floor.

Speaking on her floor... Alex passed, for the first time that day, near the room that used to belong to Dakota.

She stopped in her tracks, a familiar feeling washing over her.

‘Hey, teach,’ She could see him now, so clearly, standing next to the hospital room door in his hospital gown with his dorky smile and starstruck eyes.

Alex was about to take a step towards him. Towards Dakota, her Dakota,

When the patient’s room door swung open and a nurse got out of it. Neither her or the patient resembled Dakota, and Alex shook her head in confusion.

Was she just day-dreaming now?

She hadn’t thought of Dakota in a long time, not in that way, but being back in Edenbrook must’ve had it’s affect on her.

The day progressed, and Alex immersed herself in her work, trying to ignore all the memories washing over her.

Dakota in the cafeteria, enjoying a delicious chocolate pudding cup in the far away table where they first confessed their love for each other.

Dakota in the ER, as the kid who’s filming his friend with a video camera trying to lift his spirits after staying in for so long.

And Dakota... As the patient she loses, shutting off his monitors to give the family some quiet time to say their goodbyes as he breathes his final breath.

Alex gets back to her apartment after a long shift.

She opens a chat she hasn’t opened in some time.

‘Hey guys’ - Alex

‘Yooo how was your first day on the new job???’ - Mateo

‘Probably not so good, considering she’s writing us at midnight after her first day back in Edenbrook.’ - Lennox

‘Oh,’ - Mateo

‘I just really miss him today 😔’ - Alex

‘It’s Dakota-missing-hours for me too. Ever since you told us you were taking that job at Edenbrook I couldn’t stop but thinking about him.’ - Mateo

‘Mateo! Why didn’t you tell us?’ - Alex

‘Because he’s a dork. You both are.’ - Lennox

‘Is it bad-missing-Dakota-hours or good ones?’ - Lennox

‘Both’ - Mateo

‘Both’ - Alex

After that, a video call popped up into Alex’s screen. She quickly answered, seeing a semi-blurry picture of Lennox, and Mateo, each in their own separate screen.

“I don’t usually do this, but c’mon. Let’s talk.” Lennox starts, and the rest of the night passes... Okay.

Alex feels okay again.

“Thanks, you guys,”

The next few weeks fly by. She hasn’t thought of Dakota since that first day.

Well, not more than the occasional thought.

“Excuse me?” An unfamilar voice shakes Alex out of her line of thought.

“Huh?” She looks up from a chart she has been reading and meets a handsome stranger. “Sorry, what did you say?” She sends an apologetic smile at him.

“I said ‘Hi, I’m Dr. Flores, and I’m a surgeon here. I don’t think I’ve seen you around, Dr...” He looks down at her name tag.

“Woods.” They both say together, and Alex gets a little flustered, chuckling along with the friendly surgeon.

“I’m new. Well, kind of.” She notes.

“Well, you should definitely come to Donahue’s after your shift’s over. Everybody will be there.” He winked at her. She heard about that bar. Most of the hospital doctor hung out there after-hours.

“Ahh... I’m not so sure. I haven’t really hitted things off with anyone. I don’t wanna sit around with my colleuges just ‘cause they have to and be bored to death.” She shrugged, trying to get back to her chart but Dr. Flores caught her eye. He had that glint in his eyes, that same one that made her stomach flutter. She couldn’t tear her gaze away just yet.

“Well, I’ll be there. And I’m pretty good at not boring people to death, I’ve been told.”

“Oh, you have?” She raises an eyebrow in an amused tone.

“Yeah! You should ask around. So you’re coming?” He has a confident smile, but a hopeful gaze underneath.

“I’ll think about it.” She promises, and just at that moment he’s getting paged. He shoots her a knowing look before dissapearing into an unknown direction.

Alex looks back to her chart. She couldn’t supress the smile blooming into her lips. She hadn’t felt that flutter in her stomach in a while.

She’d dated since Dakota.

She had a boyfriend in her last year of collage, and most of through medical-school.

And while you shouldn’t compare one love to another... None compared to Dakota.

She always told herself it was because he was her first love, and such a big part of her life.

But Dr. Flores... He reminded her of Dakota. Not in appearance though, but in his dorky-but-confidnet approach and warm personality.

He might break through Alex’s tough exterior.

‘He’s not more good-looking than me, is he though?’ Alex turns around.

She can swear she see’s Dakota there. But just as soon as she sees him, he’s gone.

She must be imagining things, since it’s her 20th hour of the shift, right?

That must be it, she tells herself.

Shaking her head, she finally closes the chart and goes to meet her most recent patient.

She does go to Donahue’s that evening, but decides against going inside last minute. She goes home instead.

It’s the first time in her life she lets herself wonder ‘What if...?’.

But it’s not a ‘What if I went in and chatted with Dr. Flores’.

It’s a ‘What if Dakota was still alive...? What would her life look like?’.

It’s a warm but melancholy feeling. And she can’t shake it off.

After that, she sees him everywhere.

It’s not glimpses anymore. Not quick glances at the cafeteria. Not patients that somewhat resemble him.

No.

It’s her Dakota.

Watching over her, like he promised.

Until one day...

“Dr. Woods! Dr. Woods!” She hears a voice calling. Her whole world is blurry and hazed.

She blinks a couple of times, trying to focus.

Finally, she gets a clearer view.

Is she... Lying on the floor? Dr. Delarosa is bending next to her, checking her vitals.

“Help is on the way. Stay with me Dr. Woods!”

She wakes up in a hospital bed.

Mateo and Lennox are standing next to her bed. They weren’t around in the last few months, but with her mother gone, they were the next thing to a family she had.

“You really gave us a scare back there.” Mateo joked when Alex finally opened her eyes.

He was standing right next to her bed, giving her that concerned look of his, and taking one of her hands in his.

“They said you’re going to be fine. That you probably worked yourself too hard but some rest and fluids should do the trick.” Lennox explained. She took Alex’s other hand in hers, but rolled her eyes as if she wasn’t worried too.

Alex saw someone else in her room, too.

Dakota was in the back of the room, leaning on a drawer next to the window.

Alex looked at the figure. He looked just as real as Mateo or Lennox.

“Didn’t they... find anything else? Something out of the ordinary?” Alex asked, a realization downing on her.

Lennox and Mateo exchnaged a puzzled look. “No...?” Lennox raised an eyebrow at her.

“They ran a full check-up. You’re in perfect health.” Mateo added. “According to what the nurse said... Unless you have something specific in mind?”

“Remember when I said I saw Dakota everywhere I went that first night I got to Edenbrook?”

“Yeah?” They both answered in the same time.

“Well, maybe I’ve been seeing him around a lot. Like... Not in the ‘I miss him and immerse myself in memories of him’ way.” Alex admitted.

It’s the first time she admitted it to herself, too.

“In what way then?” Lennox asked in an upset tone, her features growing into a frown.

The three of them probably already know the answer. But just like Alex has been taught in her training to become a doctor. You can’t give vauge answers to your patients. And definitely shouldn’t give vauge answers to your doctors.

You have to say it out loud. So they can process it. Know it’s real.

“I’m... Seeing Dakota right now. He’s over there.” Alex gulps, and points behind them.

Mateo and Lennox both turn around.

Dakota has a sad smile while he waves at them. When Mateo and Lennox both look back towards Alex, it’s clear they can’t see him.

“I’ll go get the doctor.” Mateo’s smile breaks for the first time. He rushes out of the door.

Lennox stays put in place. Frozen, even.

So Alex looks back at Dakota.

She smiles at him, despite herself.

“Hi... Alex.”

#playchoices #playchoices fanfiction #with every heartbeat #dakota winchester #dakota x mc #weh #vip book #fanfic #my writing #hurt #comfort #hurt & comfort #i can't lose you again

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anarcho-mom-unist · 3 years

Text

A survey of my ‘spotify wrapped’ from 2020

So, I listen to music between a lot of platforms, I hate how spotify operates as a company (and like in a way that’s pretty comparable to my loathing of the publishing/distribution sides of creative industries,) and I fucking refuse to ever pay for spotify askjdhd

However based on the aggregate of my 100 most-listened-to songs from a year of mostly hitting shuffle on an artist, album, or playlist on mobile, I do have some reflections and highlights. From that I made something of a survey of that list which includes my #1 and #100 song in addition to 1 song from each set of ten, for a total of 12 songs. These represent artists and genres I really got into this year, as well as longtime favorites that are worth talking about:

1. “Bad Trip” - Bad Trip (single) - Xena Elshazlii & Fady Haroun: "Bad Trip” is probably my favorite 2020 release, like if I had to pick one. The track has incredible energy, from the soft piano and vocalization intro to the verse with it’s sparse drums, subtle bass line, and slight strings to an absolute banger of a chorus with punchy staccato synths, reinforcement of the drum groove, and addition of an electric guitar. Elshazlii & Haroun pack a lot into 2-and-a-half minutes of music, and the variations in texture, mix, & music in each iteration of the song’s discrete sections are *chef’s kiss* ---verse 1 and chorus 1 are not identical to verse 2 and chorus 2, to say nothing of the short instrumental transition b/n the first chorus and second verse. Whenever I listen to “Bad Trip” I’m compelled to hit ‘repeat’ ---which is not a normal occurrence for me---and experience the builds and releases that this track brings once again. I don’t know much Arabic beyond the slang terms and exclamations that peppered my grandparents’ & parents’ speech when they spoke to each other in Armenian, but I’d be a liar if I didn’t tell y’all that “Bad Trip” is among the songs that make me want to learn the language so I can better sing along w/ them.

3. “City Lights” - Sailorwave II - Macross 82-99 ft. Kamei: "City Lights” is the opener to Macross 82-99′s 2018 EP Sailorwave II, and it does that job immaculately. While I recommend the entire EP and an exploration of the Future Funk genre as a whole, you can’t go wrong with getting a taste of either through “City Lights.” The track bursts to life w/ synth brass chords and fast drums, quickly finding its way into punchy up-tempo horn line w/ light rhythm guitar and an active & bouncy bass line joining the mix. “City Lights” more or less goes from A to B to C and after the instrumental opening, the track shifts to a more under-voice horn line offering a countermelody to a mid-to-low register vocal line which is soon after joined by high voices punctuating the beginning of each phrase. The horns, guitars, and singers are cut from the track as the song enters its final section, a rap verse from featured artist Kamei accompanied with a slower-moving bass and light synth chords & wash in the middle register. Taken all together, “City Lights” ---like “Bad Trip” before it---packs a lot of music into a short duration & leaves me wanting more, which I especially long for when listening to the track outside of the context of the EP (which is what I usually do.)

12. “Turn to Hate” - Pony - Orville Peck: There’s a lot I could have done better in 2019, and “check out Orville Peck” is pretty high up there. “Turn to Hate” is a song that is at once heartrending, sincere, & catchy as all get out. Peck does one of my favorite possible things a musician can do on this track, and that’s make me Feel Things at a quick tempo. The vulnerable lyrics sung in outlaw country bass are supported by a fairly simple chord progression that acts as a solid foundation for a lot of texture ---moving guitar lines in the accompaniment part and middle-ground lines that move in and out of the melodic foreground. My moment of pure delight on the track is Peck’s laconic “yeehaw” that leads into a guitar solo that does so much work w/ its relative simplicity. “Turn to Hate” is an excellent song to get you into Orville Peck’s music if you aren’t already, if any of this piques your interest then I strongly recommend exploring his output of classic country meets 2010s indie meets camp gay sensibilities meets emotional realness. (This is as good a place as any to advise you to check out Yola and her album Walk Through Fire.)

27. “Water No Get Enemy” - Expensive Shit - Fela Kuti & Africa 70: I’m a newcomer to Afrobeat which is a fuckin’ shame because it contains a lot of the things I love most in music: rhythmic density and variety, jazz and “folk” idioms working together, a sense joy in the music-making with righteous anger at injustice in the music’s purpose, and a kick-ass horn section. "Water No Get Enemy” by Fela Kuti & Africa 70 is as good an intro as any to Afrobeat as it’s a delightful & excellent piece of music by the genre’s pioneer. It’s worth mentioning that in addition to its musical quality, Afrobeat is also deeply connected with Pan-Africanism and the resistance to the presence of European colonizers in Sub-Saharan Africa. To be frank, whatever I write can’t really do justice to this song or the musical movement from which it comes, go listen to it... a jam you can dance to while hating the British!? Immaculate.

31. “Vardavar” - EP No. 1 - Tigran Hamasyan: The first of two songs from Armenian Jazz-fusion pianist/keyboardist and composer, Tigran Hamasyan, is a fast moving rhythmically dense piece of music named after the Armenian holiday of the same name ---Vardavar is a holiday of pre-Christian origin that Armenians celebrate in July in observance of the transfiguration of Christ, it involves throwing buckets of water on each other! Appropriate to its namesake, the running piano line through much of the track and the melodic lines are both exceptionally fluid and reminiscent of water. The rhythm of the tune follows a highly irregular subdivision of the bar that it’s best to feel along w/ as a listener ---seriously, unless you’re transcribing the tune or practicing/rehearsing it, don’t worry about counting---and get lost in with the flow of the music. Notable features of the track are the dense layering of instrumental/vocal lines on the melodic and countermelodic material, breakdowns & entire sections where the music takes to longer notes, “slower” feel & division of the bar, and a slower harmonic rhythm, unexpected unisons b/n instruments, and the transformation of Armenian folk melodies & texts between vocalized material and statements of the original material. There is no living musician whose work I love more than Tigran’s and if you’re not familiar with it “Vardavar” is an excellent place to start.

46. “Boyish” - Tropical Jinx - Little Big League: "Boyish” is better known as one of the singles from Japanese Breakfast’s sophomore album Soft Sounds from Another Planet where Michelle Zauner presents the tune at a slow tempo with an unassuming instrumental accompaniment, wash of synths in the chorus, and low-register closing guitar solo which leaves the audience with a sense of melancholy & vulnerability. The original version from the 2014 LP of Zauner’s former band, Little Big League, offers a different take on the text: noisy guitars, driving rhythm, aggressive drumming on a rock groove, and a vocal delivery offering more of the rage of heartbreak than its sadness. Zauner refers to “Boyish” as an ‘ugly girl anthem’ and that intention is very apparent on this version of the track ---whereas the Japanese Breakfast take on it gave me a sense of being in the gender hinterlands b/n acceptable presentations of masculine and feminine. Both versions of the song are really worth seeking out for different reasons, and I chose to highlight Little Big League on this list because they’re a solid guitar-driven emo band that deserves appreciation in its own right.

50. “Dreaming” - Eat to the Beat - Blondie: What do I need to say about Blondie!? A CBGB act from the late-70′s that straddled the worlds of Punk and New Wave at their peak with a mix of an exceptional rhythm section (that bass!) diverse and compelling guitar work, and the captivating and ever-iconic vocals and presence of Debbie Harry. “Dreaming” might be my favorite song from Blondie and has had a special place in my heart since I first listened to them with my mom. It’s one of those songs that I’m tempted to call a perfect pop song: a joyful performance, lyrics that are at once simple and relatable ---whom amongst is unfamiliar with longing!?---music full of hooks & containing the kind of energy that just goes and takes you with it!

65. “Holy” - Shadow Theater - Tigran Hamasyan: The second entry from Tigran Hamasyan comes from his 2013 album Shadow Theater ---an excellent work as a whole---and is one of the slower, more spacious, and simpler tracks from it. “Holy” is a setting of the Armenian liturgical piece “Soorp Soorp” which is frequently used in the celebration of the Eucharist (even in the Armenian Protestant church I grew up in) and it’s achingly beautiful. There’s always something to be said about a musician capable of complex and virtuosic feats on their instrument doing something very simply and very well, and that’s what the entire ensemble brings ---including frequent collaborator Areni Agbabian who provides the vocals. Even as the texture thickens in the middle of the song, the middle ground & harmonic support coming from strings and bassoon (Ben Wendel) is simple, under-voice, and reverent. “Holy” is the kind of piece of music that offers an encounter with God ---even if one would never otherwise believe in something beyond the material; even just for a moment.

77. “The Day the World Turn Day-Glo” - Germ Free Adolescents - X-Ray Spex: X-Ray Spex is one of those bands I’ve listened to before on a recommendation I received ages ago but never really followed up on beyond the one song sent my way. “...Day-Glo” is a fuckin’ banger of song that just bursts with this wonderful energy from the jump & showcases the best qualities of X-Ray Spex’s sound: driving guitars, wild saxophone lines, and chaotically charismatic lead vocals from singer Poly Styrene. X-Ray Spex have an output that is wild and fun as hell to explore, and “...Day-Glo” is an excellent place to start ---you’d also do well to check out their more notable song “Oh Bondage, Up Yours!”

84. “Marquee Moon” - Marquee Moon - Television: Listen, you don’t need to read some internet lesbian with a music degree go off about Television ---one of the most musically interesting acts to come out of CBGB and one of many definitive proofs that Punk is not a label that people should fucking fight about having a true definition of. Clear 11 minutes in your day, find a pair of headphones so you can experience the use of stereo in the recording and enjoy each element of the song, especially with regards to Tom Verlaine and Richard Lloyd’s interlocking guitar lines.

96. “Leylum” - Kokorec - Collectif Medz Bazaar & Sevana Tchak: Armenian folk music, baby!! Collectif Medz Bazaar offer a lively and joyful rendition of the classic folk song “Leylum” which has been burned in my mind from church and community gatherings ---the fun ones with music and all of your aunties dancing in a circle and such. Listen to this song and DM me if you aren’t dancing along of joining in on the response parts as best you can. I think this particular recording offers a nice entry point into an exploration of Armenian music, the instrumentation hits a lot of the staples of Armenian folk ensembles ---duduks, dohl, dumbek, clarinet, shvi, etc.---and the song itself is an up tempo dance tune which I find to be easier to start with than ballads or liturgical music.

100. “Electrastar” - Paradize - Indochine: Back in the hazy past of 2017, one of my friends from undergrad and I were hanging out and playing music for each other. In a departure from his usual library of French Baroque music, he played a song by French New Wave band, Indochine. That song was “Electrastar” which is a consistent favorite of mine, my favorite song from its album ---Paradize, which is already a solid record---and a great entry point into the musical output of a band which has been active for about 40 years. "Electrastar” features driving rhythm guitar, pulsing synth under the texture, eminently catchy chorus and post-chorus, and a very care-full and effective approach to the mix. Also, not for nothing but that album cover is 👀

Survey of 2020 Listening

#magatha.txt #long post #music recommendations #Xena Elshazlii #Fady Haroun #macross 82-99 #kamei #orville peck #fela kuti #tigran hamasyan #little big league #blondie #x-ray spex #Television #collectif medz bazaar #sevena tchak #Indochine #french mention

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daydreamerlxnd · 3 years

Text

3 Days of Bliss (a short story made by me)

So I wrote a short story, sadly it’s not a fanfic, I’m bad at those lol. One day I just woke up and decided to write this. English is not my first language so feel free to correct me if there’s any grammatical or spelling errors, I’m always ready to learn more <3

*******************************************************************************************

Phoebe, a brilliant name for a radiant person. A good friend of mine. We are on a road trip to a place that Phoebe will love for sure. I made an appointment with an artist. I decided to bring her to the artist's workshop and make some art. Phoebe has been a big fan of art for a long time, as far as I remember she always has been passionate about creating and learning about art since she was a child. My car moves swiftly across the highway towards our destination meanwhile Phoebe just spacing out into the road. We are enjoying each other's company and silence as all friends would do. About half an hour, we arrive at the place that we're supposed to make art for today. The town looks peaceful, almost like there's no trace of humanity compared to the workshop on the other side looks welcoming and humble.

As soon as we enter, a man around our age greets us with a smile on his face. He has long and wavy brunette hair that tied back messily. He is the true embodiment of an artist. The shirt he is wearing is smudged by the paints though it is hidden by the apron. He is lanky although there might be a little bit of muscle hidden behind the shirt, perhaps by carrying all of the art equipment. The building is quite empty but fills with various artworks along with the paints, canvas and brushes. At the centre of the room, something catches my eyes. A large glass platform is placed on the floor. The artist introduces himself as Kyle then tells us to change into the outfit he prepares. He says he is going to teach us to make art using our body parts. Kyle dips his hands in the paint while encouraging Phoebe to do the same. Phoebe hesitates to do so at first, but after watching Kyle spontaneously paint the glass platform using his hands, she starts to do it too. Kyle decides to turn on the music simultaneously doing their masterpiece while I just watch and take pictures of them. I already agree to be the cameraman throughout these three days' trip. Phoebe starts to use her feet to paint. She's suddenly dancing around the platform, each of her steps matches the beat of the song. Her pace is light. Almost seems like she's floating. Kyle and I are mesmerized by her, she shines like the sun on the crack of dawn. Before I even get to take more pictures of her, Phoebe drags me on the platform. We dance together along with Kyle, making art just by our footsteps.

We decide to take a tea break. Three of us are drinking tea while making small conversations to spare our time. While we're talking, I can't help but notice that Kyle never takes his eyes off Phoebe. As someone who is also a man, it kind of bothers me the way he looks at her though I try not to think of it that much. After that, we continue to work on the piece. The artwork actually turns out great! I had never usually held any significant adoration for art until today. Others might think our artwork is just a mixture of paints without any particular pattern or reference. However, art is not all about beautiful sceneries and portraits. It's about the meaning and emotion we put in it. Take the case of Starry Night by Van Gough. Even though he was the one who made it, he thinks of it as a failure though now almost everyone knows and praises his art. Besides, people find his story and the meaning behind all of his art pieces mesmerizing and eye-opening. Both of us thank Kyle for his guidance and willingness to help us throughout the class, he even takes the chance to give Phoebe his number in case we want to meet up again. After saying goodbye to Kyle, we check in to our hotel to rest and prepare for the next day.

I hear knocking on my door early in the morning, waking me up from my deep slumber. It must be Phoebe, she's an early riser after all. Phoebe seems enthusiastic about today's activity. She gobbles up her breakfast while I remind her to drink water, worried that she might choke on her food. Not too far from here, there is a music class that we will visit soon. Phoebe wants to learn to play a musical instrument ever since she saw me playing the piano once. We meet a Chinese woman in her 50s soon after we arrive at the class. She has a bright smile, friendly and sweet too. There are multiple instruments placed in the room, Phoebe obviously impatient to play all of them. I thought she wanted to play the piano though she reaches the violin at the corner of the room instead. The madam proceeds to teach her the right position to hold the violin while I do my usual task. I try to find appropriate lighting to take their pictures, most of it turns out great because of the madam's cooperation. Phoebe also looks natural while playing the violin, she always has been quick-witted. Phoebe exclaims to the madam that I'm really good at playing the piano. I am flustered when the madam requests me to play it though I do not dare to refuse someone's wish. It's been a while since I played the piano, I sit on the chair with caution. I touch the white tiles lightly, almost scared that it might break. Melancholy piano keys echoing in the air, the sound greets my ears like a bittersweet reunion of two soulmates who weren't meant to be. Phoebe sneakily takes a picture of me, making me stop from continuing to play the piano. Both of them give me an ovation even though I don't think I deserve it. I'm sure that they're just being kind to me. "I really want to be good at playing the violin now. It will be nice if I can do a duet together with Neil" says Phoebe in a child-like manner. The madam agrees while I'm flattered by their praises. Phoebe starts to become more persistent in practising after that. A duet with Phoebe as a pianist and violinist sounds surreal, kind of romantic may I say.

It's the last day of our trip. Today we're going to do some photoshoots, as always Phoebe will be the model. We check out from the hotel at 5 am in the morning and drive straight to the destination. It's kind of rough travel because we need to climb the mountain near the town before the sunrise ends. On top of the mount, there are lots of wind turbines that make you wonder how far our technology has developed. The scenery is breath-taking, the greenery soothes my eyes, what's more, my lungs are filled with fresh morning air. It is a wise decision to pick this place as our photoshoot's venue after all. This is also the reason why I choose to be a full-time cameraman instead of a professional pianist. I always have been passionate about photographs more than playing the piano. Phoebe looks beautiful today, she's wearing a white dress that really compliments her ocean eyes. She's stunned by the sun slowly rising up on the horizon. A lot of pictures are taken during the time, she doesn't even need to pose that much. "Neil, dance with me." She whispers while looking at me with adoration in her eyes. I take her hands, leisurely melts away in her gaze. As if all of our concerns are gone like it's actually an ordinary voyage between two soulmates. Phoebe suddenly bends over, she starts to lose her composure. I hold both of her arms, trying to get her to her feet again. No one can ever imagine someone who is as strong as Phoebe is in pain. She's been sick for a long time now. Instead of getting further treatment, she decides to spend her last remaining days with me. She wants to learn and does things that she always wanted to do since forever. There are a lot of activities that she wishes she could do. In the end, we decided to decrease it into three activities only. The trip is going great, she keeps glowing throughout our journey. Every picture I take throughout our journey is magnificent. She reminds me of the star at the centre of the Solar system. The sun that peeks through the clouds during one of those gloomy rainy days. She never fails to bring lights in one's self. Although, her eyes can't hide the fact that she's slowly dying. The trip back to our hometown feels sombre though Phoebe never let her smile wear down until the end.

I didn't come to her funeral today. Instead, I just lock myself in my bedroom accompanied by the dusty piano. I only play it once in a blue moon though I drag the cover on top of it revealing an old yet still sturdy piano. The dust flies around the room. This might help to distract me from the loss of a person very dear to me. I start with a delicate movement though it gradually turns into a desperate for melody of someone who refuses to let go. My slim fingers dance across the white tiles with fury, longing and regret. She was bedridden as soon as we got home. I knew that her body couldn't handle it, it might be risky yet she was still eager to go on with the trip. I should have stopped her, I had the chance but I lost it. I weep silently, the white tiles are drenched by my tears. The way she shines in my eyes, the way every single of her gesture makes my heart flutters. I was in love with her. I was in love with the sun that was no longer here. The rain pours down from the sky as if it's also grieving with me. I stop playing though the rain never stops. The sun is nowhere to be found either.

#writing #mywriting #shortstory #literature #english

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lyrazehedgieboiii · 4 years

Note

Sonic catches Amy reading / writing sonadow fan fiction?

LMAO YES, THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS ONE, I WANTED TO DO THIS SOOOOO BAD. ALSO SORRY THIS WAS LATE.

Sonic was over at Amy’s house, enjoying some cookies and tea, because goddamnit, her double chocolate-chip cookies were to die for.

“Thanks for inviting me over, Ames. These cookies are sooo good!” Sonic moaned in delight. Amy giggled.

“You’re welcome, Sonic. I made some for Tails, but the poor little guy was up all night working on an invention, so I put some cookies on the counter for him, and wrote a note, so he knows I made them.” Amy said, as she put the tray down on the coffee table. “Anyways, I’m going to change, you can turn on the T.V. Okay?” Sonic nodded. She went to her room, and Sonic watched as her sway her hips. He got a little excited, but controlled it. He turned his head back and turned on the T.V. Please be Comedy Chimp, please be Comedy Chimp-

And it’s a drama. Wait no. It’s a play. It’s Hamilton. Wait, wasn’t it supposed to be on Disney Plus on July 3rd? Oh welp, might as well watch this. Sonic remembered the time he and the gang found Amy’s script, and they acted to it. He looked in the drawer that it was originally in, only to find a book labeled ‘Sonadow.’ Curious to what it was, he opened it, and skimmed to a random chapter. It said ‘Pregnancy Test.’ He started reading until he realized that Shadow and himself were the protagonists of the story. Shadow was the pregnant one. This book was in Amy’s house. In. Her. Drawer.

“Okay I’m back-” Amy stopped in her tracks when she saw Sonic holding the book. She immediately thought of excuses and stories to why she had that book. She wrote it, but was glad that she hadn’t written her name down in the book, otherwise it would get very weird between them. “That’s n-not mine...” Sonic appeared quite flustered.

“Then who does it belong to?” Sonic asked, his eyes twitching in what seemed to be anger.

“...Would you believe me if I said it belonged to Lyra?” Amy replied, hoping Sonic would actually fall for that.

“Makes sense, I guess. I mean, I thought she shipped...well...us?” Sonic blushed deeper while saying.

“S-she has many ships, so don’t expect her to have just one...” She knew that Lyra had OCD’s when even thinking about Sonadow, but it was the only reasonable excuse she had, she didn’t want it to become awkward between them.

“O-Oh...y-you haven’t read this, have you?” He asked her.

“I saw the title and understood immediately...” She said cautiously. She knew Sonic very well, but at a time like this, she was very confused as to what his reaction would be.

“That girl is going to publicly humiliate me one day.” Sonic nervously chuckled. Amy repeated his actions, not sure of what to do now.

“I-I’ll give it back to her later, why don’t you just eat the cookies and pretend you never saw that?” Amy said in a rushed expression. Sonic noticed and decided not to think too much of it.

“...Okay...” He hesitated before saying.

- TIME SKIP!!!! -

Amy was sitting in her room, doing something on her laptop that had her complete focus, Sonic observed. He made some sounds on purpose to see how Amy would react, but she didn’t even seem to notice.

“What is she doing? She’s never this distracted.” Sonic thought out loud, only to hear Amy giggle while typing something in. She looked like she was about to swoon. She started cracking up, and put the laptop on the edge of the bed, which was on the other side, and she got on her back and tried to take deep breaths. Sonic snuck in through her windows, which have no glass and are covered by tapestries. He started reading whatever she was typing and saw Shadow’s name.

“Ah~ I just love Sonadow~ It has a better chance of being canon than SonAmy will ever have.” She said, completely unaware of the second person in her room. Sonic got up and cleared his throat. Amy’s eyes immediately widened, her eyesight never leaving the ceiling. “IS SOMETHING LYRA WOULD SAY HEHEHEHEH...” Amy nervously continued saying, before taking the computer.

“Then how come you were writing it?” Sonic asked in a disapproving tone.

“Uh...Lyra was asking me to edit it, so I was helping?” Sonic still looked unconvinced. he yanked the laptop out of her hands.

“Why the fuck do you think that SonAmy has a less chance of being canon compared to Sonadow?” He questioned, waving the laptop in the air.

“Well, you would never like me, and you’re always arguing with Shadow and you just seem like you enjoy his company more than when you’re with me.” Amy replied sadly, her ears drooping.

“Ames, I enjoy your company! I just tease him that he’s slow, that’s all. No romantic feelings for him. Just rivalry and friendship!” Sonic exclaimed. Amy giggled.

“But wouldn’t you like to be more with him?” Amy asked, scooting closer.

“Eww, no. He’s too emo. I prefer girls.” Sonic said, dropping the laptop on the bed, and putting his hands behind his head.

“Yeah, I know. I see how you always flirt with them...” Amy responded with a melancholy tone. Sonic noticed this and got an idea.

“Welp, I gotta go...run, and stuff like that.” And with that, Sonic zips off to who-knows-where. Amy quickly grabs her laptop and clicks the publish button.

- MEANWHILE WITH SONIKKU -

Sonic went to Lyra’s house to get something, and he went back to his hut in less than two seconds.

“Okay, Sonamy. What are lemons...” Sonic zoned out, wondering what on Mobius citrus had to do with Sonic and Amy. Sonic wasn’t a huge fan of having anything with lemons in it, and he knew that Amy doesn’t really make sour or bitter foods. He clicked on what said Sonamy boom lemons, and saw that there were a lot of chapters. He went to the first one, and started reading. “Oh. OH. OHHHHH MY CHAOS, HOLY SHIT! THAT’S A LEMON?! AND WHY THE FUCK IS MY DICK ONLY FOUR INCHES IN THIS STORY?! IT’S MORE THAN THAT-” Sonic stopped himself when he realized that he was upset over his member size and not the fact that Amy was taking control of him in this story.

“I need something...AH! Here! This is perfect.” Sonic smirked at his idea, and then ran to Amy’s house to bring his idea to action.

“Sonic?” Amy answered the door, and her face was showing shock. Sonic walked towards her, until she was leaning against the back of her couch.

“My beautiful Ames, my gorgeous Rose, how would you like to go on a date with me?

“I-I-I-I...what?” Amy asked flustered at the sudden and definitely unexpected question.

“Did I stutter? If anything, you were the one stuttering. I know, I’d be stuttering too, if I were to ask me out on a date~” Sonic repeated himself, adding a witty comment in that.

“Are you Sonic?” Amy cautiously questioned, hoping this wasn’t another prank by Morpho.

“I am, Amy. Sonic the Hedgehog, Fastest Thing Alive.” Sonic proudly stated. Amy giggled.

“So you are. Why are you asking me out on a date? Is this to prove that you’re not into Shadow?”

“No. I’m asking you out because I want to, and you better say ‘yes’ or I’m just going to nag you until you do.”

“Okay, okay. Yes. I’ll go on a date with you, but what’s up with your sudden flirtiness? You never act like this, let alone with me.” Amy inquired. That made Sonic smirk.

“Why not? I have to be your dream hedgehog, otherwise you’d ship Silver with Shadow.” Sonic responded. Amy shook. Sonic got worried by her weird uncharacteristic actions. “Amy! Why are you shaking? Are you okay?” He saw that her eyes were glossed with tears. “Amy! Are you crying?” He honestly didn’t know what to do, hug her? That’s what Amy does whenever someone’s crying. He wrapped his arms around her, genuine worry crawling over his features. Amy flinched as soon as his hands touched her, and she backed away after taking in everything.

-----------STOP HERE------------------- There are two endings for this story. Right under this is the humorous one, and below that is the one for hopeless romantics.

“Okay Sonic, game’s over. What do you want?” Amy asked after attempting to ignore the weird twitch and tingles in her body.

“Whatever do you mean, Amelia?” Sonic responded in a dreamy tone. Amy rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

“Do you even like me? You only flirt with every other girl, apparently not me...unless you’re trying to get or prove something...” Amy hesitatingly tells him, puzzled as to why he was acting charming to her. Sonic’s cheeks and ears turned a deep shade of red.

“...Maybe, but I only flirt for a reason-”

“Don’t give me that shitty excuse, Sonic the Hedgehog. You’re a terrible liar, and I don’t want to hear it.” Amy sassed out, which wasn’t surprising to Sonic, because ever since they all moved to Hedgehog Village, her attitude changed, as so her habits.

“But it’s not...I actually like you! And if I have to chase you for the rest of my life to prove it, so be it! I’ll run everywhere just to look for you! I want you~!” Sonic whispered in her ear, after giving it a nip and kiss.

“Please don’t. I don’t want our reputations tarnished because you decide to run after me like some kind of weirdo. Honestly, I should’ve written that you were the pregnant one,” (anyone noticed the fanfiction reference? :D) Amy stated bluntly. Sonic took two steps towards her. He leaned his face in her’s.

“Say that again, Pinky.” Sonic warned as her arms went around his neck. He heard a ‘POOF,’ and sweatdropped.

“What did you call me, Blue Boy?” She queried. Sonic started to sweat and blushed once again at the sudden closeness. His confidence then returned out of nowhere.

“I called you, Pinky. What’s the matter? Don’t like it?” Sonic smugly replied. Amy glared at him.

“It’s not that, it’s just that I’m getting turned on by the second~.” Amy lustfully said, biting her bottom lip. Sonic widened her eyes.

“W-WHAT?!” Sonic shrieked out, not knowing whether to pounce or to run away.

“Why are you acting all jumpy? You literally just bit my ear in a seducing tone!” Amy yelled out at him, her sexy act forgotten. Sonic looked heavily disturbed at Amy’s choice of words.

“Seducing?!” Sonic squeaked. Amy was trying her best not to swoon at how adorable she found that squeak to be.

“Yes! Don’t you want me?!” Amy hollered, her own cheeks burning up.

“Okay, fine! Yes! Now can we get to the part where we say how we feel and kiss?” Sonic uttered out.

“I love you!” Amy exclaimed. You shouldn’t be shocked by her boldness, as she’s been like that all her life.

“I-I l-lo-love you too!” He responded. There was practically steam coming out of their ears by the amount of blushing that was happening.

“Let’s kiss!” Before Sonic could respond, Amy pounced on him and tackled his lips. They both felt fireworks soar through their body, shivering at the new sensation that they gave each other.

“Give me a strip show, baby~” Sonic inaudibly murmured in her ear.

“Only if you use protection.��

“What’s the fun in that?!”

HOPELESS ROMANTIC ending----------

“I-I’m sorry.” She breathed out in a troubled voice. She slammed the door shut, and ran to her room sobbing. Sonic was confused. What did he do wrong? He knocked on the door, before remembering that this was Amy Rose. She never opened the door when she was upset, she just wants to be alone.

‘Well, not today!’ Sonic thought, as he broke down Amy’s door. He was going to have hell to pay, but it would be worth it. He went to her bedroom door and heard her crying. He did the same thing that he had did with Amy’s front door, and saw her face-first on the bed. He tip-toed towards her, and crawled on top of her. She looked so fragile in this state, that he just wanted to hug her sadness away.

“Ames, if you’re ready to talk, why are you crying?” Sonic gently raised her chin up and asked.

“Haven’t you wondered why I even like Sonadow fanfiction?” Amy asked her love interest. Sonic thought for a moment, and realized that not even he knew why she liked it. It was probably the most random thing she’d be into, and the ship itself was very random.

“Never really thought about it during the thirty minutes in which everything happened. It actually makes me think about it now.” Sonic told her. She wrapped her arms around his torso, which caused Sonic to stiffen. After a few moments, he began to rock her side-to-side to calm her down.

“I thought you’d never love me, so I tried to keep my mind out of reality...” She said, sniffling in between. “At first, I started reading fanfiction. I saw SonAmy fanfiction, and it broke my heart seeing it. I read Sonadow, and it still hurt, but I just couldn’t get enough of it, next thing I know, I’m writing a popular story on Fanfiction platforms and the compliments and comments I get makes me feel happy. Even though it injures my heart too much...” Amy sobbed. Sonic lowered his eyelids.

“Amy, if it’s giving you a heart-ache, then why do you still do any of that?” Sonic queried. Amy gave an emotionless chuckle.

“People say that I make them happy writing the fanfiction. They smile, and I’m happy that I make them happy. Even if it pains me to do it.” Amy smiled. (Lmao don’t worry, it doesn’t happen to me) Sonic couldn’t tell whether it was because she was happy genuinely, or her clouded, closed mind was telling her that she was happy. She clearly wouldn’t be happy if it gives her pain.

“Then stop it. It hurts you, so you should stop. You’re basically telling yourself to feel the pain.” Sonic told her while stroking her quills gently. He kissed her forehead and continued. “Start connecting with your friends and soon-to-be-boyfriend, please.” Sonic said, trying to keep a straight face as he felt her jolt up.

“When you say soon-to-be-boyfriend, do you mean, you?” Amy asked, trying her hardest not to wag her tail in excitement.

“Who else? Plus, don’t hide your tail, I wanna see it~.” Sonic lustfully whispers in her ear. She took her hands off her of her tail, letting it sway in happiness. Sonic, being a perverted, hormonal 19 year old, got an idea.

...

“SONIC! WHAT THE FUCK-” Amy squealed as Sonic actually had the nerve to pull her tail.

“I wanna see more~”

“You wanna see more?” She mused. She raised up her dress a little more...

“YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO MARRY ME IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH ME!” Amy exclaimed, taking Sonic off guard.

“I JUST BECAME YOUR BOYFRIEND! ONE STEP AT A TIME, AMES!” Sonic yelled back.

“SO?! IF YOU WANT THIS BODY, THEN YOU’LL HAVE TO VOW TO IT!” Amy continued. Sonic made a face.

“WELL I LOVE YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL ROSE!” Sonic unexpected shouted.

“ISN’T SCREAM THERAPY WONDERFUL?! IT MAKES YOU REVEAL YOUR THOUGHTS MUCH EASIER THAN JUST SAYING THEM! ALSO, I LOVE YOU TOO, YOU LITTLE SHIT!” Amy screamed.

“WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?!”

“ONLY IF YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND!”

“GOOD!”

“FANTASTIC!”

And they all lived happily ever after, (Eggman is in his lair fangirling with me) THE END.

#sonamy #sonamy boom #sonamy fanfics #sonamy fanfiction #sonamy stuff #fanfiction #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #lyra ze hedgie boiii #amy #amy rose #my god yes #amy is caught reading sonadow fanfiction #yes #YAS HONEY #for loafuwua #sonamy spicy~#sonamy spicy #spicy sonamy

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astrochiron · 4 years

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the signs :: my dear melancholy, // the weeknd

Aries & Libra- Hurt You

“And now I know relationships [are my] my enemy, so stay away from me; i’m warning you”

The opening lines of the song sets us up with Abel claiming that he’s over relationships; they hate him, he hates them, and he’s warning this girl of such before everyone gets hurt. His antagonization of the relationship and his aggressive tone exudes Arian energy. It also speaks from a place of independence and rejection of the “other”.

“When you're with him, you close your eyes and think of me

Just call me up again

I'll make you weak”

Abel goes on to talk about how the two of them share a special connection and even if she’s with someone else, he’ll always be on her mind. I’ve personally heard a Libra or two express this sentiment to someone. Libras are often amazing partners and great, attentive lovers, so his claim isn’t likely unfounded.

Overall

“Hurt You” takes on the perspective of both the woman (probably Bella Hadid) and Abel (The Weeknd), allowing for equal representation that expresses Libran fairness. He’s looking at how he doesn’t want to get involved with her again because he knows that he’ll just hurt her again. Plus, its focus on the relationship itself associates with Libra’s position as the sign of romantic connections. I think Arians are very honest with themselves and, at the end of the day, would rather do bad on their own then bring another in on their problems. This also pushes people away, leaving Aries to fix everything on their own. Plus he brags on his sex fame a bit, which is common from both of these signs.

Taurus & Scorpio- Privilege

“And I don't wanna hear that you are suffering

You are suffering no more

'Cause I held you down when you were suffering”

This line is super Taurean to me. Taurus is the sign of stability, support and comfort and Abel was saying he was all three for this person at one point. If anyone cares, this is specifically talking about how Selena Gomez was physically suffering and how he was a support system for her, even allegedly offering to donate a kidney for her when her own failed. This also connects with a Taurean’s tendency to take a lot of shit until they reach their breaking point, from which there is no return.

“And I'ma fuck the pain away, and I know I'll be okay […]

But I'ma drink the pain away, I'll be back to my old ways”

I’m not one to reduce Scorpio solely to sex but it is a large part of both it and Taurus’s main tropes. Scorpio seeks a deep connection and Taurus is centered around sensual pleasure. Abel seems to be using sex and alcohol as more of an escape, leading toward more Scorpio-like (and even Piscean) tendencies. It’s doubtful that these sensual pleasures and attempts at intimate connection will actually help, but he’s down to try.

Overall

“Privilege” is basically about facing the reality and aftermath of a break up. Scorpio is associated with death, including the death of a relationship and the aftermath afterward. Taurus focuses on living in reality with its Earth association. It’s all about the here and now, being stable and physically present which is shown with the physical ways Abel tries to patch himself up after his heartbreak. Scorpio, not he other hand, focuses on evolution and growth especially after a major upset like a break up.

Gemini & Sagittarius- Try Me

“Once you put your pride aside

You can notify me (-fy me), -fy me (-fy me)”

This reminds me of Gemini. They’re not too prideful when it comes to things they want. Gemini is often compared to school-aged ids and that’s very true when it comes to their motivations; no pretense or deep thought when its something they simply want. I can totally see them persuading a partner to be less pretentious; “C’mon, don’t over think this one. When you stop being so honorable, let me know.”

“Havin' thoughts you never had, yeah”

This line reminded me of Sagittarius’s ability to make things more logical or philosophical, seemingly the opposite of Gemini’s simplcity. They’re good at pushing their ideas for their own benefit, making the woman have thoughts she never had in the first place.. “I mean it’s not really cheating if you and I don’t kiss; no emotions involved. Besides, you’re not married so you’re technically single,” or “I mean what’s the actual definition of cheating?”

Overall

So “Try Me” is basically Abel telling this girl to leave the guy she’s with now and try him out again. I’m so sorry if this offends y’all (I’m not sorry, really), but it instantly reminded me of both Sag and Gemini. I’m a Sag moon and I know how… calculated we can be with these matters. Gemini represents all things familiar and things you’re pretty well-versed in due to repetition and what screams that more than having sex with an old fling?

Cancer & Capricorn- Wasted Times

“And what they got that I ain’t got? Cause I got a lot”

This is a line that someone who likes to provide for others would say. Both signs are concerned with protection and providing, Cancer wanted to nurture and provide emotionally while Capricorn shields and provides physically. It screams, “I took care of you and I gave you all i had; what can he give you?”. This also speaks to the Capricornian tendency to compare status.

“I ain’t got no business catching feelings”

Cancers are super stubborn when it comes to trusting and letting others in, especially romantically. It’s all to do with that crab shell that protects them from harm. They have no time to catch feelings cause when they do, it’s insanely deep. This is the same for Capricorn, really, as they (GASP) change their future plans for those they love and hate fucking with their vision for those who aren’t serious.

Overall

“Wasted Times” is about Abel being a highly publicized relationship with Selena Gomez, the operative Capricornian word being “publicized”. Abel hates to think he publicly linked his name with someone that he considers as wasted time. Both Cancer and Capricorn is all about time too; Cancer will lament on time wasted, saddened by past mistakes and Capricorn won’t even let you waste their time, focusing on the future.

Leo & Aquarius- Call Out My Name

“You’re on top, I put you on top I claimed you so proud and openly, babe”

Aquarians are almost as secretive as Scorpios especially when it comes to associating themselves with people. Aquarius re-prioritized and even claimed her publicly, both being a big deal. Putting the one you love on top is also such a Leo trope, too; love before all, even self.

“Why can’t you wait ’til I fall out of love?”

This line is pretty self centered which tend to associate with (all fixed signs but especially) Leo and no, that’s not always a bad thing. Leos and Aquarians both don’t like when people don’t react the way they planned or in the way that’s most beneficial toward them. He simply wanted her to wait to move on until he was ready to move on himself, now is that too much to ask? To a normal person, hell yes.

Overall

“Call Out My Name” starts the album expressing how Abel is putting way more into the relationship than the other party. Every single person with heavy Leo placements that I’ve known have hearts bigger than Volkswagen Beetles, so they tend to give their relationship 250% even if the other person is only capable of 19%. This also gives a brief look into the often irrational and deep feelings that Aquarians claim they don’t have.

Virgo & Pisces- I Was Never There

“Now I know what love is and I know it ain’t you for sure

You’d rather [have] something toxic, so I poison myself again, again”

This is the line that secured this song as Virgo for me. Abel aways equates women or the pursuit of them to drugs and the fact that he knows how unhealthy the relationship is shows a Virgoan awareness as well a Piscean tendency to ignore such awareness. He’s resorting back to what he knows, the tried true method of coping, so he can feel better.

“I'm on the edge of something breaking

I feel my mind is slowly fadin'

If I keep going, I won’t make it”

These lines at the end of the song, again, point toward the Virgo-Pisces axis. Virgos are hardworking to a fault. They, like Abel, do what they can until they’re completely spent. Pisces will put forward energy they don’t even have to help boost those around them. Both of these methods are unhealthy and ultimately self-destructive. If he keeps putting all his energy into this thing and she keeps sucking it up without reciprocity, he simply won’t make it, or at least they won’t.

Overall

Well I immediately pegged “I Was Never There” as Pisces and since there were only six songs, Pisces’ sister had to come along too. It does fit though! Virgo and Pisces both are mutable signs and this song is specifically discussing the end of a relationship. Mutable signs bring on the ends of their respective seasons are associated with destruction, critique and moving on. He turns to drugs and other unhealthy escapist shit to get over the relationship which, stereotypically enough, is associated with Pisces.

check your moon sign (for the song that makes you comfortable and puts you in your emotions), sun sign (the song that makes you happy and the one you ride around to) and venus sign (the one that speaks to your inner artist). the whole album is a no-skip™ for me. treat yo self.

#no-skips #music #astrology #my dear melancholy #the weeknd #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #mine

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whaq · 3 years

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Fuck You, Animu (1/4)

A dumbass’ war of heart and mind A few months ago, I hit a creative block. Despite considering myself a jack of many mediums, I couldn’t for the life of me bring myself to make--well... anything. While I do have a Google Keep of creative ideas I’ve come up with over the years, I was unable to find the drive (pun shoehorned) to get started on any of them. This sent me into a bit of a spiral. A lot of creatives probably empathize: you find yourself lacking the motivation to create so it starts to negatively affect your self-worth, which is tied to your ability to make things, and this lack of confidence compels you to just succumb to melancholy, finding yourself the victim of a self-fulfilling prophecy to become a slacker because you think you already ARE one.

I was a couple months into this when a buddy of mine hit me up asking if I heard about a call for local anime reviewers. At that moment, it almost felt like divine intervention from God, who I only ever felt in the burning sensation radiating through me whenever I was within 10 feet of a church. An anime news site, let’s call em Animu, with a relatively large following, was searching for writers who would join their staff to review anime being released in the winter season with a salary to boot. As an avid anime fan myself, who just so happened to have honed his critiquing skills over years of media consumption {that has since ruined my viewing experience for the foreseeable future (I legitimately suck the joy out of every piece of media I consume now)}, I saw this as my opportunity to be able to use my skills for some form of monetary gain; which was always a concern of mine throughout my life. Growing up, I was never really good at anything that could easily become a profession later in life. I was too awful at biology to become a doctor, not smart enough at maths to be the next Pythagoras, nor was I athletic enough to shoot a basketball, let alone make it in the NBA. I was good at talking in, and understanding, English... and that was it. At the time, I didn’t realize I had a knack for writing and oration, but even once I did, I found that the trajectory towards being a professional for either of those fields wasn’t so simple. Most people still have the childish idea that “Oh, writers write books and speakers do… speaking things!” but it waters down such a wide yet closed off section of the professional world. Writing alone has so many different specializations: journalism, screenwriting, book authoring, all such niches that don’t have as established a path as scoring high on the Bar exam or being scouted on varsity; it’s difficult to find a place in this world with that skill set, a fear that a majority of creatives have. So I needed some form of validation, an instance of acceptance that’ll allow me to finally believe that my work is worth something and, most importantly, enjoyed by someone. So I started working on my application for Animu by selecting three different series that I was interested in tackling: Re:Zero, Cells at Work, and Kaguya-Sama: Love is War. Starting from zero The posts after this contain these reviews in the state I submitted to Animu. I spent about a month working on these. Re:Zero’s review was close to my usual style of critique, which focuses on the technical aspects and their execution as well as commentary on any relevant subtext, minus the subtext. I wanted to seem as professional as possible with the first one and tried to keep to the proposed 1200 word word limit. With Cells At Work, however, I tried to have a bit of fun. There were many rumblings around the community about the series’ cancer episode which I was eager to capitalize on. That said, upon rewatching the episode, I came across some potentially problematic scenarios that could’ve been blown out of proportion by some headline-chasing media outlet; so that’s exactly what I did. No, I wouldn’t in my right mind compare chibified blood cells to Nazi sympathizers (then again, I’m never in my right mind). Lastly, was Kaguya-Sama, which became my favorite anime of the past couple years. This series was the first anime that got me to actively follow the source material as it hit two of my most identifying traits, being a cinephile and humor academic, as well as a side I’m slightly embarrassed by, my interest in romantic comedies. I wanted to attempt a review that was just hype-hype-hype as it was what the series sparked within me. Oh, and you SHOULD read Kaguya-Sama. Bleeding out After a modicum of proofreading, as well as some peer review from my closest confidants, I sent over my application and I waited. As my heart raced on the day of the announcement, my name was nowhere to be found. To add insult to injury, I was informed that I scored absolutely horribly by Animu’s criteria, my highest grade being one that’d flunk in the most forgiving of schools. While you’d expect me to be crestfallen, I was actually ecstatic to know that the community I’ve been a part of, a local one no less, had people with an even larger passion and greater skills than even I. As someone who went through childhood being made fun of for my interests that have somehow developed into geek chic and gone mainstream (something that, contrary to most of the community, I’m happy to see), I was glad to see how much people like me had developed from waifu worshipping weaboos to outstandingly ornate otaku. Hell, I was content to have made some content. I was looking forward to seeing the fruits of labor from those who were more deserving than me. So imagine my surprise when what I found posted a month later was absolute garbage. I’m not going to get into detail, seeing as said details could lead to someone getting doxxed just because they didn’t meet MY oh so high standards (/s), but what I will say was that the quality of the content indicated something more telling about the whole ordeal. I have taken part in two completely different student publications in my time, and I can say with utmost certainty that THE GRADE SCHOOLERS I MENTORED WROTE BETTER, AND THEY WEREN’T EVEN PAID. Still, it was nice to know I still had it in me to make something of substance. And on this commemorative day, I open up my blog by making public my entries for all to ridicule. As much as I talked down the winning entries, I don’t believe mine were perfect. Like most of my work, it’s rushed and rambly, full of tangents and misnomers. But, it’s very me, and I’m quite happy to see something from me see the light of day.

I hope you find some amusement in my bemusement.

p.s. Yes, the headers are attempts at relating to the three shows p.p.s.s. Yes, they’re BAD attempts at relating to the three shows

#anime #manga #review #anime review #rant #petty #spite #critic #critique #nerd

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doomsdaydicecascader · 4 years

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:fire: pixel art in indie video games

there are so many angles to approach this one from. like okay this is a homestuck blog and i’m making a webcomic where i do art on a canvas meant to be viewed without any magnific8ion or up-scaling but for like. 3 years before this i was a full-time indie dev, and one of the things i took the most pride in was my pixel art - i still love doing pixel art but it’s hard to find places to put good pixel art into a homestuck comic.

last year i put together a game for a game jam where i spent most of the time in the week i was working on environment art (@janederscore killed it on character animations) and the final score was, in terms of graphics, #5 out of 114 entries.

check out witch machine if you have the time, sound of the summer.

i’m personally really proud of this shot of the curtains in the dining room.

all this to say, i feel like i’ve got a non-zero amount of skin in the game, with this ask. and the skin in the game is, i feel like pixel art is an EXTREMELY devalued medium, especially in the context of indie games, like. i can think of exactly one holistic pixel artist, where like, their work exists as its own thing and not as an extension of a game’s aesthetic, and that’s fucking paul robertson.

you may know him as the guy who did all the pixel-pushing work in gravity falls - both giffany and the street fighter parody were his art. and that dude bites. that dude made graphic fan art of custer’s revenge, you know - the game that exists to be pointed at in gdc talks where the late-20s, early-30s dsa member says “we have to do better than this”. and they’re right, that game sucks.

and even then, his work is only really holistic because the scott pilgrim game got fucking. unpersoned, and if it was still around he’d be the scott pilgrim game guy. even homestuck has homages to that dude’s work in it - eridan and sollux’s fight is in that exact style.

thats a tangent but heres my feeling: the prevalence of pixel art in games is like a thing that has to be done in every other artistic medium, that is - you have to make a fucking choice, about what your game is, about what your narrative is.

i wrote a whole blog post last year about what i was doing with the game i was working on at the time, box game, since i spent ages doing a pass on all the art in-game, redrawing things and reshaping them to be more visually coherent, less bad, and why i made those choices, and i stick by those to this day but here’s a less masturbatory example:

one of my favorite pixel art games, visually speaking, is space funeral. space funeral is a game about MOON, an artist who saw the CITY OF FORMS, a perfect city based on the platonic theory of forms and after being driven mad, destroyed it. over the course of the game, your goal is to defeat moon and restore the city of forms.

at the beginning, phillip walks in weird ways, like the animator just drew some frames without really knowing how they fit together, the tiles are all given this black outline that’d be horrifying to ship, since there’s this pixel art concept known as “jaggies” - when drawing lines, there’s certain kinds of curves that you follow to create the illusion of curves and almost always, it’s on diagonals.

the difference between these two lines is palpable, no? it effortlessly creates the illusion of amateur pixel art. also it is amateur pixel art, for as heady and interesting as thecatamites games can be i wouldnt put “pixel art quality” at the top of their merits. its still gr8 but you know.

anyway, it starts out with this really comparatively desaturated look, using lots of neutral versions of colors. but........

as you approach the city of forms, it grows garish. the only colors that arent blown out are the yellow of leg horse and philip’s skin. as you approach moon, and restore the city of forms, restoring this “perfect model city” and restoring the world as it was known, the whole game’s aesthetic shifts again.

to the RPG maker default tileset, something so thoroughly soulless that the only place you would ever see it in 2020 is in this context, a melancholy ending as the unique world you just spent the whole game exploring, is stamped out for a world that conforms to the very assets its packaged with by default.

(youll also find them in hentai games on steam, where they bring out big bucks for busts of their buxom babes but barely break a babys bank over things like tilesets, though trying to talk truthfully about that seems thoroughly tedious)

all this to say, i feel like you cant just have a take like “:fire: pixel art in indie games” because its like. “whats your opinion on art in comics”. “whats your opinion on acting in films”. its just a medium and there are good and bad examples of that medium and i think its kind of unfair to judge a medium by its terrarias when its also got games like deltarune, gato roboto, and hyper light drifter

and again this is just in games, pixel art is a medium unto itself which is a whole other topic but i dunno how much i can get into that, just bc i dont have the experience

#why did i alliter8 like that. i did it earlier today and i did it here. why am i like that.#Anonymous

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javajournalism · 3 years

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Existentialism in Six Parts

Or: Why The Fuck Are We Here?

A Philosophical Consideration of Life, Death, and The Weird Shit In Between

PART ZERO: WARNING

What follows might be a lot -- consider this a warning for all things -- hopefully duetted with occasional levity and even a positive conclusion in an attempt to brand myself with unyielding charm and biting wit. Even so, keep in mind that I did say “all things.” After all, aren’t there more things in Heaven and Earth, reader, than are dreamt of in our philosophy?

PART ONE: WHAT IS SCARIER THAN DEATH?

I feel like most people are afraid of death. Who wouldn’t be? We are all afraid that one day we will enjoy life so much that we will have something to lose.

For me, that fear is more of a dull thump in my temple.

The sharp pang in the forefront of my mind, the fear I can’t shake, is that one day I will no longer be afraid of death. One day, there will be so much that overshadows the things I have to lose that I won’t be afraid to lose them anymore.

I mean honestly, how is a creature that is able to predict its own inevitable demise even meant to exist? How can anything live an unfettered existence knowing what’s to come?

Or rather, knowing what’s to come and then not knowing what’s after that?

We can’t. We just can’t, so most of the time we keep ourselves from thinking about it in any meaningful capacity on purpose just so that we can stomach our own beating heart.

Most of the time, we build our walls up so high and so thick, plastering brick after brick so that no axe can chip at it because if we don’t, the dam will break and instead of water we’ll have waves of black ooze, existential sludge induced by our own thoughts.

Or maybe that’s just me.

PART TWO: DOES ANYONE DESERVE ANYTHING?

More than the idea of life and death, I struggle with the idea of “fairness,” by which I mean I struggle with the absence of it.

I don’t know why it’s fair that I get to live a comparably good life. I certainly earned some of the good things in my life, but I didn’t earn being born somewhere peaceful and safe, into a white, middle-class household to parents who love and support me.

I didn’t earn being generally physically healthy. In fact, anything about me that is physically unhealthy is a direct descendent of choices I have made for myself.

(See: Caffeine, nicotine, and not eating for years.)

The fact that I have the time, the resources, and the capabilities to reflect on any existential nonsense means that I practically have it made. So what did I do to deserve it?

And even though I have it, does it save me from suffering?

Nothing changes the fact that even a comparatively good life, a life misted by or drowned in privilege, necessitates the acceptance that the people we love will eventually die.

No matter how wonderful the life given to us, we will one day have to watch ourselves and everyone around us decay; one day our bodies and, maybe more importantly, our minds will scatter into a million pieces and be picked up by a world that doesn’t slow down just because we can no longer keep up with it. And even then, that is only if we’re lucky enough to live long enough to watch it happen. If we aren’t hit by a bus or dropped by an aneurism.

But, (spoiler alert!) no matter how or when it happens, we will one day lose everything.

In the meantime, our only option is to hang out and ask ourselves why.

How is that fair? Why does anyone deserve that?

PART THREE: WHY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING IF IT ALL GOES AWAY?

I did, at one point, consider myself a nihilist. Mostly because I was thirteen, filled with Redbull and Tumblr and puberty-granted angst and I thought it would make the cool, moody kids like me.

But now, in the I-Am-An-Adult-But-I-Still-Feel-Like-I-Know-As-Little-As-I-Did-Then stage of my life, I really think I was overcompensating. I did, at one point, consider myself a nihilist because I also did, and still do, think that most things matter. A lot. I think most things are actually really profound and special, but that’s exactly what scared me.

It’s scary to assert, in the face of a meaningless void where we are but one speck of dust in an infinitely expanding cosmos, that something might mean something to you.

It’s scary to consider the fact that one day you might never get to look at those somethings again. It’s scary to look at the trees, or the sunset, or the stars, or the love of your life, and know that you won’t have them forever even though you love them so deeply.

It’s scary, fucking terrifying in fact, to understand that eventually there will be no more anything: No more climbing into bed with clean sheets, diving into the sea, tasting the first sip of coffee in the morning, feeling wine-induced euphoria, touching or being touched, running fast, biting hard, screaming loud, laughing louder. The fear is debilitating.

How can the joy of having not be overshadowed by the fear of not having?

How can the joy of existing not be overshadowed by the burden of understanding not existing, the burden of having a weird body hanging off of you, the burden of too many emails about too many things that might not actually matter in the end?

How can we possibly keep ourselves from spiralling into a pleasure-seeking, never-finding, Dorian-Grayian husk of hedonism? Realistically, we can’t. That’s scary, too.

But it’s more complicated than that, isn’t it? There’s more left to account for.

PART FOUR: WHAT OF THIS SHITTY WORLD?

What of the melancholy, the boredom, the sadness, the blinding rage, the jealousy?

What of the, and I mean this very seriously, real evil? What of the suffering?

What of the bare hopelessness, the hunger, the sickness, the torture, the war, the entire world on fire? There are entire nations built on graveyards or things worse than graveyards. There are entire nations turning into graveyards or things worse than graveyards.

What of the people who can be monsters, who are monsters right now as we speak, who have been monsters since the dawn of man, and who will be monsters until we are all dust?

What of the universe’s indifference to those monsters?

Worse yet, what of our indifference to them?

What the fuck do we do with that?

I mean, we can write about them, read about them, recite the stories about them low and sober in the candlelight or loud from a podium, but sometimes I feel like if stopping it truly mattered to any of us, we would drop everything and do something. Anything.

But most of us don’t want to do that.

Is it selfish that most of us like our lives -- even when they are scary or confusing or plagued by fears -- and don’t want to give them up?

Is it selfish to not give them up, whether physically giving up our corporeal machinery that keeps us breathing or metaphorically giving up our time and our money that we use to try and create a more meaningful existence for ourselves?

I don’t think admitting that makes us bad people, but it probably doesn’t make us good people, either. I really think it just makes us people.

Sometimes we don’t need extra money, so we give it to someone who does. We vote. We give blood. We go out of our way to compliment people or be nice to the barista at our favorite coffee shop. We write shit like this and hope that it helps someone.

We contribute in the ways we know how, in the ways we can. We try to write new verses for poems, stitch new patches into the felt of the universe hoping to make it a little bit more beautiful, a little bit more complete. But is that ever really enough?

PART FIVE: IS THAT EVER REALLY ENOUGH?

I really think that might be. I try not to be in the business of unnecessarily miserable conclusions. Once you find yourself in the midst of them, they start to color everything with their shade of pale nothingness and they tend to bring about the idea that the more grim something sounds, the more truthful it is. Screw that.

There are terrible things in the world, so many that if you could see them all at once they would break your heart. But, fuck, we’re the only things that we know of who can hope.

Find. Create. Catalyze meaning where there might not be any.

By being overly cynical about the state of the universe, we do a disservice to the infinitesimal chance that there is so much beauty in the world that it will take your breath away.

If we, as people, create meaning and if truth is subjective, we are left with two options that are completely artificial: Either the world is beautiful and wonderful simply because it can be, or the world is a deep, hellish cesspool of suffering simply because it can be. If that’s the case, doesn’t it make more sense to hone in on the man-made truth that is quiet and, in some rare moments, truly joyful?

Maybe, just maybe, you can’t have one without the other. Maybe it isn’t a matter of choosing the “right one,” or pinning down a specific point on a map, or finding the sweet spot in the middle of the spectrum. Maybe it isn’t a spectrum at all. Maybe everything is beautiful and everything sucks, everything is order and chaos, everything is life and death.

Maybe Heaven is a prison. Does that make it any less Heaven or any less prison?

The only thing we know is this: Everything is notable and important because we make it so; because we experience it, we articulate it, and we share it; because we write showy, meandering pieces about it to publish for other students who know just as little as we do about all of the maybes.

We know intimately what it means to live, what it means to suffer, and what it means to die.

But in the midst of that cosmic sleight, isn’t there something so special about arranging the resulting turmoil for our own minds? Isn’t it so beautiful that we are even alive to think about how shitty it is to be alive?

What a gift it is to be fully aware of all this and still choose to, in our own little pockets of time and space, seek out happiness for ourselves and those around us.

PART SIX: CAN THERE REALLY BE A CONCLUSION?

While preparing a, hopefully meaningful, final monologue, I didn’t know quite what to say. There is both so much and so little to focus on. But what I keep coming back to is one idea:

Everything is going to be fine; it will not be perfect and it will be painful, but it will be fine.

“Fine” might be less of an absence of feeling than a resolution of them or it might be the most comforting lie we can tell ourselves, but it might also be the most beautiful truth we can muster. The closest thing to the middle of the spectrum that is not a spectrum.

“Fine” might just be everything and then some.

There will always be death and we will always be aware that it is looming over us like a Jenga tower about to topple. Nothing will ever be fair, but in spite of that,

everything will be fine.

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themidnightfarmer · 4 years

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A one sided revelation || Luke & Jared

Timing: A while ago

Location: Hardware store

Tagging: @lucastheunlucky & @themidnightfarmer

Description: A reunion, in which one party figures out a few secrets.

Triggers: none?

Jared was in for a real set back in his bank account. Not only had he bought a rather expensive beast from a guy he barely knew, but that beast had also required a few things to get comfortable on the farm. A few very expensive things. And even after that Jared had gained some houseguests. He wasn’t living a very budget friendly lifestyle so to speak, so the one thing that perhaps shouldn't have been suffering was going to have to suffer for the moment. He eyed the more expensive, stronger gate locks and mechanisms with a heavy heart. He was going to have a few very long nights until he sold his next crop watching the gates. Lifting the smaller cheaper lock into his hands he turned abruptly and recognised the man down the aisle with a jolt of realization. A smile slid onto his face and he called out, “Hey Luke!”

Luke’s heart jolted, mind immediately racing to who said that?! Hearing his name called anywhere always startled him a little, Gotch put that in him though, and he needed to break that bad habit. He’s not in deep hiding anymore, even if he was risking quite a lot walking around during the day after four, almost five years not being able to. Turning around and seeing Jared, grown up more, and smiling made Lucas’ insides melt at seeing an old face. One from childhood always stirred old memories. “Ah, man. Look at you. Still cute and shit--” he grinned back, and walked over to slap his hand. Lucas juggled his items into a bucket he was buying, and set it on the ground. “Are you in town? I didn’t realize it.”

Luke was Luke, and no matter the time that had passed he was the same guy, it was good to see. At least on the surface that Jared could observe, Luke was the same as he’s always been. “I’ll forever be adorable.” Jared agreed with a laugh and a dramatic brush of his hand through nonexistent hair around his shoulders. “Never left, just been too busy to traverse the shops at regular people times, get things delivered to the farm directly now. It’s for the best, my livestock keep me on my toes.” Jared grinned. “I was gone for the last two winters though, went...soul searching I guess.” he explained. “But what about you bud? How’ve you been! Feels like the last time I saw you was at a party at Martins house before graduation.”

“Same, I’m always up very early,” Luke agreed, leaving out the hiding part. He forgot Jared had a farm, and something in the back of his head wondered which one. “Soul searching-- I get that. I do that shit almost every month in the woods, just bum it out with a tent, fire, and myself and nature. Sometimes it’s necessary to get out of town.” At the mention of the party long, long ago Luke had to huff a laugh. “Shit, yeah. I think so. It feels like another life doesn’t it? High school was easy comparatively. They don’t exactly tell you that being an adult comes with so much stuff to worry about. Did you go to his funeral a while back? It was a nice service.”

“It really takes you places that’s for sure.” Jared grinned, his own soul searching the first time had been a migration following a local Kerashag towards canada, it had been a very informative trip, and much like Luke described his own being. “A lot of camping and not much else is good for the heart.” The reminder of the not so fun part of being from town hit then when Luke mentioned Martins untimely death. “I missed it, I was working and couldn’t get the time off. I dropped off some flowers graveside though the day after.” Jared shoved his hands in his pockets with a grim face, he’d been unable to go to the funeral due to encouraging the beast that had mauled Martin to leave. An uncomfortable reality of his life, that one. “Heard his older sister gave the eulogy?”

“Mhm, yeah. She did well--” Luke has gone to so many funerals in his life that some of them blurred together. It wasn’t awkward but more a reflective moment. That graduation party years ago had been pretty fun, and Jared did look well all things considered. Usually running into a familiar face came with him darting out of the picture, but today he could stand here and talk for a second, the change Luke was thankful for. “Yo, where is your farm at? I know there are a few right? Around here? Must be hard with the Maine weather-- you do crops or cattle?”

“I’m the one in the outskirts, edge of the forest. Though not many travel far enough down the dirt path to actually reach my gates, you know? Bit too far for most.” And Jared couldn’t help but think that was truly for the best. His ‘livestock’ were not usually the kind to take intruders lightly. “Got a small greenhouse, but I’m mostly an animal man. Carried on my parents livestock.” It wasn’t technically a lie considering he HAD kept the real cattle for a while, but Jared still felt bad omitting the whole truth. “I free range them all in together, so I’m not really an easily visited place. But that’s fine by me, most people don’t treat my kids right.” He tries to joke. But there’s an edge to it, a memory of a recent fuck up he was still healing over. One of his kids still had bandages on from being let out by someone. Someone who had yet to be identified.

Lucas worried the edge of his lip, and thought immediately-- ‘oh, shit. Jared you have the monster beasts?!’ Luke wasn’t surprised with any development involving supernatural anything, having grown up here, it was a perk of living in chaos while the humans got hurt, died, and well-- lived their best lives in the dark on such things. Luke nodded as Jared continued to explain and Luke, well he was the one killing those beasts off. They were so fun to chase through the woods, and satisfying on the stomach under the full moon. ‘Whoops.’ he thought, and tilted his head in a puppy dog way. “Why you looking at these locks? They ain’t going to do much for you with cattle right,” ‘especially not a werewolf. Shit Jared, what in the world.’ “Yo, I’d love to see the place sometime, you working alone though? Seems like a lot of work for one person.”

Jared mirrored Lukes tilt of his head unconsciously, still trying to keep smiling. His mind had to move fast when Luke asked about the locks but decided maybe the truth was better in this situation. No one would assume he farmed anything but cattle after all, he was safe enough. “Someone has been tampering with my gates, and since my herd is all free range and stuff it’s not so good. A bull of mine escaped not long ago and went to a frat party, and then I think a bear got to him.” Jared tells Luke, his face falling at the admission. Despite it being sabotage of some kind the nymph still held himself responsible. They were his kids, and he’d not found Hayhay in time. “Yeah I work the place alone, got some housemates at the moment but they don’t help out on the farm. I manage fine.” He actively ignored the wish to come over, it just wasn’t safe for humans, humans that didn’t know what was going on at least. He hoped Luke wouldn’t notice.

“A frat party? Wow-- did it come back with a bong hat attached?” Lucas asked, and as Jared continued it was obvious that this all bothered him. Luke pressed his lips together, unsure how to admit or say such a thing without exposing things. Better off just pretending it didn’t happen, and not do anything more. “Hey--” he shoved Jared lightly when his mood seemed melancholy, “seriously, if you need help just ask. I’m pretty strong, and Ill hull some stuff for you if you ever need it, alright? No need to shoulder everything-- I be telling my employees this shit everyday, it’s like the younger generation doesn’t hear it enough. Do I gotta rope you into them?” He teased, “also, I own this pizza shop in downtown, called Yum!Pizzeria-- you should stop by. I only do lunch so I can have the evenings free.” Luke did notice how he didn’t bring up coming over, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t try again later.

“Spoke to a partygoer, he smashed out of the glass door apparently.” Jared cringed. “He’s only a baby, shouldn’t have been at a frat party with all that alcohol.” he tried to joke to cover up his discomfort with the idea. It was a mystery how the frat had managed to get the bies safely into their dorm when the beast was most certainly not ‘friendly’ in any definition of the word. Then again he was just a baby. Easily bribed. “Oh sure lump me in with the ‘kids’ just because your birthday is coming up old man.” the nymph joked. Jared perked up further when Luke spoke about his own business. “Hey! A pizza place!! That’s great bud! You’re looking at your new most frequent customer.” Jared reached out and playfully punched the other in the arm. “You’ll never be rid of me,” he grinned.

The joke was so poor that it was actually kinda funny, even if he’s surprised it didn’t hurt anyone. When Jared compliment him and made such a declaration it felt like he wasn’t turning thirty one, and instead nineteen. Seeing anyone he knew when he was a kid stirred the inner playfulness in him, and he couldn’t help but really wonder how many of his friends back then knew more about the supernatural than any admitted. His mother always made sure Lucas was quiet about it at all costs, not that he needed reminding with Gotch bothering him back then. “Oh yeah?” Lucas wanted to ask him to promise, but Regan had really put the scare in him over such a word and tried not to use it anymore. “I will hold you to too it-- plus, I still really want to see the farm sometime. Don’t think I didn’t notice you leaving that open. But no pressure, if you are the shy type now-- I won’t hold it against you too much.” Luke teased and grabbed his things. “You still shopping? What else you looking for?”

Jareds smile turned sheepish when he was called out on ‘forgetting’ to address the wishes to come over and see the farm. But he grasped onto the excuse he was given by Luke and ran with it quickly. “Hold me to it all you like, you’ll be sick and tired of me so fast. Ah...the farm isn’t that special. Cows and fields and nothing all that interesting. I’m no pizza place.” Jared tried to distract the other, bringin the conversation back around to Luke himself. “Mostly just the locks, some spray paint as well, but I couldn’t see any in this isle.”

“Fine, fine,” he waved lightly, “but I can not possibly, be sick of you. No way. Especially now that we ran into each other. I’m-- the one who is going to annoy the hell out of you.” Luke glanced at the locks and had to wonder which one was actually the most ‘werewolf’ proof, even if he’d stop pulling from there on the full moon from now on. Jared should probably have a decent one. He’d have to ask Miles. “Maybe some chain with a lock would be better?” He asked, “and I’m here for a bunch of random shit for the pizzeria. Want to have a hardware drawer just in case something breaks.” Luke made it seem like he’d walk with Jared for the rest of their shopping needs, and when they checked out, he pulled out his phone. “Dude, here,” he handed his phone over. “Give me your number, and we will hang out or go do something fun.”

“A chain is far too much work.” Jared joked. “Nah, I need easy access for real it’s calving season.” And Jared knew this fact made his farm a mess every year. Vicious mothers tended to get even more so the closer to term they became. Especially the bies. So to combat this, new hardware would be needed. Especially since someone was sabotaging him. “Good call about extra stuff, you’d think I’d have learnt that lesson, then again…” Jared paused and peaked into Lukes basket that he’d previously put down. “We probably need different sorts of supplies huh?” He grinned however when Luke indicated he’d stay the journey. Jared took the phone and typed in his contact details. “We will, if you don’t see me far too often at the pizza shop. I’m not kidding, I eat so much take out when I have the spare cash it’s unreal.”

“Just come hang out, I’m in downtown near the shop anyway. It’s easy to get around,” Lucas took his phone back and sent him a quick string of emojis so he had his number. “I hear that shit all the time. Pizza is easy, but you better keep up the active life or it will get to your health. I just got back on my feet a few weeks ago after an injury. I missed climbing and running, and throwing a football. I’ve been thinking about getting a few of us together sometime for flag football. You down for that? Can you catch and run? Cause that’s all there is too it.” Luke chuckled.

“I can definitely run, catching isn’t a strong skill for me. But I can learn.” Jared bumped their shoulders as they waved their way through the isles to the register. “Count me in for football. I’ll try not to make a fool of myself relearning the rules. Been a hot minute since i’ve had anything to do with sports.” he laughed as he put his basket down to pay for the locks. “But hey. Text me. Or see me at the shop today because I'm ordering like five pizzas in celebration bud.”

#C: Luke #C: Jared #P: Chatzy

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