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carpenterswife · 1 month

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HALF OF ME (ii)

SUMMARY: When Soldier Boy doesn’t return from Nicaragua, Vought creates a bullshit lie, talking him up as a hero who died in a devastating, world-saving accident. You’re handed down the mantle of leader as Payback, and spend your time trying to live up to how Ben had lead them, while also attempting to figure out what truly happened to him.

WORD COUNT: 2945

WARNINGS: MINORS DNI. Vought’s corrupt behaviour, typical Soldier Boy behaviour, death, gore, vomit, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, sexual content, smut; descriptions of sex.

SERIES MASTERLIST / MAIN MASTERLIST

Ben didn’t come home from Nicaragua.

Blown to pieces by some Russian laser weapon (what the fuck?), the.. chunky remnants of his body were taken away in a helicopter. Presumably to be experimented on.

It made you sick. Ben might’ve been an asshole, a deep rooted cunt, but he didn’t deserve to have his corpse be defiled like that. Maybe you’d just gone soft for him, that’s all. Maybe his hushed, sweet words and gentle touches, in his last few days, had softened your heart.

But you spent nights grieving your loss, hyperventilating in your room as you felt his fingers tracing your hips again. If you closed your eyes tight enough, you could see him.

You’d never planned for Ben to die. Hell, he hadn’t even planned to do. He was supposed to be ageless; a man who didn’t die. Vought would hide him away when it became suspicious, and he’d live peacefully… as peaceful as he could get, anyway. That was what was supposed to happen.

But his guts were strewn across the base camp in Nicaragua, and you’d never see him again.

It only took Vought three months to create a bullshit cover story.

After all, they couldn’t tell America their beloved Soldier Boy was actually at the site of a cocaine smuggling operation when he was blown to bits. No, that’d taint his image that Vought had spent literal decades moulding. He needed to die a hero. A man that would live gloriously in textbooks and stories.

A nuclear reactor meltdown is what they came up with.

Fucking bullshit, really.

The man was practically immortal (which did raise the question of, how the hell did the Russians kill him in the first place?). Some radiation wasn’t going to take him out. You’d watched him take two full magazines from an assault rifle, and get back to his feet like nothing happened.

And now he was dead. You didn’t know how. You wished more than ever that he’d let you accompany Payback on this godforsaken mission. Because you were utterly clueless as to what had gone down, and no one was answering your questions, tearing up whenever you mentioned the place.

You wanted — needed — to know how this was possible.

You knew Ben, better than anyone else on the team, even Crimson, who stood up on stage, talking about how good of a man Ben was.

Ben was a good man — to those he thought deserved to see that side of him. He was reserved and harsh and rude. And, yes, he was naturally an asshole. But, there was a part of him capable of respect and kindness and love. It was just stuffed deep within.

You’d been drawing it, slowly and carefully. You’d dug your hand in and grasped onto it, worming that side of him out of his heart with every night you’d spent cuddled into his chest. And he’d been warming. His touches had been gentler, his words softer, his eyes more admiring. You’d made him that. You were the only one he’d deemed worthy of his love and trust and respect.

Crimson had never seen that side of him. She’d never even come close to opening him up, seeing who he truly was.

As she talked fake stories of their blinding romance, about how he was such an incredible boyfriend, you just rolled your eyes in the audience. The only time Ben spent with Crimson outside of the public eye was when he was balls deep inside of her. And, even then, he liked to say she was a terrible fuck.

He also liked to say you were a good fuck. It was his favourite compliment; as funny was that was. As he railed you against his mattress, his hands keeping you firmly where he wanted you, he muttered praises.

That was different to the Ben the other women got. He’d degrade them: call them every name under the sun as he practically broke their pelvises. With you, sure, he was rough, but he complimented you; whispering and grunting softly, making sure you felt pretty and loved as he violently fucked you into unconsciousness.

And he always made sure you were okay afterwards. Ben giving aftercare was not something you’d expected, but he was damn good at making you feel safe and secure. He was a man of many talents.

The country was honouring him, as you begged for any kind of rational answer from Payback, from Edgar, from Vought. You were close to falling to your knees and pleading. But they didn’t care. Too busy basking in the boost of popularity that came from Ben’s death.

So, they upped their game.

And, when Vought erected a statue of Ben outside of Vought Tower, you threw up in the bathroom. The night you were named the new leader of Payback, you threw up again.

Apparently, it’s what Ben wanted. Which was bullshit. He wanted you in his kitchen with a dinner plate (lovingly, he’d told you that night. How could something like that be a compliment? You didn’t know, but it was Ben, so you guessed it was possible). But, you couldn’t fight it. So, nearly exactly three months after the last night you saw him, you took his place.

It felt wrong, and disrespectful, and you were lost and out of place. You had no knowledge on how to lead a team of asshole supes, that didn’t respect you or really like you that much.

Ben did this so easily. He lead Payback like a natural born leader. You lead like a baby giraffe learning to walk.

But you did it anyway.

“Soldier Boy was a national icon.” You held the microphone with shaking hands, willing them to stop, staring out at the gathering of civilians. It was wrong; America was mourning a death they’d all been lied to about. You swallowed your bile and pushed on. “And I am honoured to be taking his place as the leader of our brave and dedicated superhero team, Payback. I will be leading in his image, and his honour, and I hope that my work would make him proud.”

It was all bullshit.

You hadn’t written a word of this shit.

Edgar had shoved it into your hands and pointed you onto the stage. No warning. No cooperation. No opinion. Just… here you go, now go put on a show.

But, the audience was eating it up, and Edgar and your PA were giving you a thumbs up from backstage. They liked your performance. Ben, however, would be gagging in his mouth hearing this. He’d probably mock you, and claim you’d be better off just blowing his dick. He’d be right. Every word that was coming out of your mouth was corporate propaganda.

Your hands curled tighter around the microphones, knuckles whitening. You didn’t want to be here. You wanted to be home, as far away from Vought and these grieving people as fast as possible. “Soldier Boy was a respected, beloved hero, within your hearts, and Vought’s.” God, what cliche, sappy horseshit. “He was a good man, who lost his life saving millions.” You held back your scoff. “Vought will forever live in his shadow. We ask that you give us time and space to grieve our loss. Thank you.”

The audience applauded, loud and roaring, as you walked off stage.

The rage bubbling up in your chest was ready to burst, overflowing. This was all fucking sickening. No one was telling you anything. And they expected you to get on stage and do these speeches? To sit, cry and look pretty as you grieved the mighty Soldier Boy?

Fuck that. You were going to get answers.

There was some dark shit happening behind the scenes, and it had Vought’s grubby handprints all over it. The cover story. Payback’s silence. Edgar’s lack of care. None of it was adding up.

The moment the audience could no longer see it, your mouth curled to a scowl, heels clicking as you stormed up to Edgar. You were going to get answers, even if you had to physically get them. You’d find out what happened to Ben in Nicaragua, even if it cost you your head.

Stan Edgar, despite knowing he was now on the receiving end of your anger, stood tall. Cocky bastard. You could kill him with ease. But, of course, he didn’t care. There was only one person you’d ever seen Edgar cower from — Ben. To be fair with the guy, though, anyone would cower if Soldier Boy was screaming at you, inches from your face.

“What is going on?” Despite your rage, you kept your voice to a low hiss, not wanting to attract attention to your anger and frustration. “Can someone fucking explain to me, what is happening?” He began to walk away, and you followed. your words still flying out. “Why am I taking Ben’s place? How did he even die? You were in Nicaragua — what happened? Why did it take you so long to come up with that shitty reactor meltdown story?”

He turned to face you. You abruptly stopped, almost smashing into his chest with the suddenness of it, taking a stumbling step backwards. “I understand you’re upset.” You rolled your eyes at his professional tone, hands linked behind his back. Typical. “But I cannot answer those questions.”

“No, I deserve to know” You demanded. It was a losing battle, and you already knew that, but it doesn’t mean you wouldn’t try your hardest. “What. Happened?”

You weren’t getting an answer from Edgar. And that became clear when he turned his back to you, engaging in a conversation with his secretary, and leaving you in the dust. Glaring at the back of his head, you muttered obscenities.

If you weren’t getting it from Edgar’s lips, you’d get it another way.

Namely, breaking into his office that evening.

━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━

Now, you weren’t a seasoned criminal, but Ben had taught you a thing or two. He was, very much, a criminal, and knew things you were never too curious to ask about. Like picking locks. Which was the most normal of his odd knowledge. (The fact that man has known the recipe to make a bomb was… terrifying.)

Picking a lock wasn’t in your expertise, but you remembered enough from what he’d shown you. Enough to kneel down in front of Edgar’s office door, and use a bobby pin to turn the lock until it clicked.

You grinned, internally thanking Ben for his… strange teaching techniques. Glancing down the hallway, both ways, you ensured it was empty; that no one was about to see you going against every rule in the book. Once it was cleared, you slipped inside the door with practiced ease, and shut the door behind you.

The sun was setting over the horizon — the golden hour hue lighting up the room enough for you to make your way over to Edgar’s shelves. You were determined to find something. Anything.

Something was going on. Something sketchier than Vought’s usual dirty work. And you were going to figure it out.

Your index finger skimmed the folders, peeking at the names. Until you found Ben’s — a cream folder with ‘SOLDIER BOY’ written across the front. Pulling it out, your eyes locked onto the bright red ‘DECEASED’ stamped under his name, your heart squeezing.

Swallowing thickly, uncertain, you flipped it open. Reasons over the contents, your eyes narrowed in concentration and then narrowed further in frustration.

It was nothing you didn’t already know. His past. The human trial experiment. Comp V. Ben had already told you all of this.

You glared at the deceased marker on the front of it, and then slid the folder back into the right spot. Alphabetical order, you noticed. You continued flicking through the files, trying to find something that could be labelled as suspicious.

Your ears perked at the sound of sudden buzzing from across the room. Like a dog to a squeaky toy, you rushed over, watching a piece of paper print out of the fax machine.

You snatched it up the moment it came out.

BCL-RED was the title word.

What the fuck was that?

You’d never heard of it before. It had to be an acronym, but your mind came up blank, as you racked it for any familiarity. Cursing internally, you scowled — damn fucking code words.

Before you could read ahead, a voice floated into the office from outside.

“Shit.” You hissed under your breath, suddenly very panicked. Returning the paper to the machine, you dashed for the door, poking your head out just enough to peek down the hall. You spotted Edgar just a ways down, facing away from you, talking to Black Noir. Quickly and silently, with expertise learnt on the field, you crept out of the office, taking off down the hallway in the opposite direction.

All the way back to your room, you muttered the words to yourself.

BCL-RED.

… BCL-RED.

━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━

It wasn’t in any folders documents anywhere. Not even your PA knew what a BCL-RED was.

You felt like a dog chasing its tail. Going in circles, trying to find any clues as to what happened to Ben. Every day your suspicions rose. Something wasn’t right. Edgar was having hushed conversations. Payback was having meetings that excluded you.

Your trail lead you to Grace Mallory.

The young woman handed you a cup of coffee, hands scarred and calloused from her days at war. Quietly, you thanked her, sat comfortably on her sofa, cradling the coffee. “I have to respect your strength. Putting up with Soldier Boy every day.”

You cracked a smile, sipping the steaming coffee. “He was a… acquired taste.” Your laugh was breathy and quiet, thinking back to Ben and his unique personality. “What happened in Nicaragua?”

Grace sighed as she settled back. She was pretty. No doubt Ben tried to get in her pants while he was there. “It happened quickly.” Your brows furrowed, sitting forward, elbows on your knees. “We were ambushed. Your team couldn’t find their guns from their asses.”

“Sounds about right.” You murmured. “I told Ben he needed me out there. The stubborn dick wouldn’t listen. Looks like it bit him in the ass, eh?”

“Big time.” Grace agreed. “There was an explosion. It knocked me out.” You listened attentively, frequently sipping the coffee. “When I came to… your team were in ruins. Half of ‘em were dead, the other half injured.”

You chewed your lips for a few beats. “Black Noir still hasn’t recovered. Doctors said he’ll never be able to talk again.”

Solemn, she nodded. “Not surprised. His face was more hole than it was skin.” You grimaced at the imagery. “Crimson Countess told me Soldier Boy was dead. He’d been killed by some… laser, his body taken by a helicopter.”

“And that’s it?”

“That’s it.”

You sat back. “Huh.” You murmured. “She’s lying.” You decided. The story wasn’t right. Sure, it was feasible, under different circumstances. But, in battle? When Ben was on his A-game? No way.

Grace looked confused. After all, why would Crimson lie about something like that?

You didn’t know.

But you were going to fucking find out.

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That night, you didn’t return to your room. Instead, you slipped into Ben’s in the dead of night. It hadn’t been touched since he left for Nicaragua. Since he’d railed you against the mattress and left you bed-bound for two days.

The air was musty, with dust covering each surface. Crawling onto the bed, you tugged open the curtains, letting sunlight in for the first time in months.

Every surface was covered in dust. And there were still drugs laid about. Half snorted lines of cocaine on the coffee table. Empty pill bottles decorating the floor. An ash tray that reeked of marijuana. God, this man had been like a teenage boy.

Flicking on the light, you gathered your bravery, and spent a few hours cleaning his room up. You didn’t know why. Maybe you wanted to feel closer to him. Feel like you were doing something for him. Ben hated it when things were messy. And he loved it when you cleaned up after him. You hated feeding into that old, sexist mindset he had.

But, god, you’d do anything right now to hear him demand you fetch him a drink.

After you cleaned his room, you stripped his sheets, gagging at the old stain. Definitely your cum. And his. Gross. You stuffed it into a basket, kicking it away from you.

Okay… remember to not touch that again without gloves.

As you finished the last, final touches, a glint of metal on his bedside table caught your attention. Curious, you padded over, expecting a pistol.

Instead, you found a chain.

Your heart leapt into your throat. Delicately, you placed the necklace in the palm of your hand, brushing your thumb over the metal surface.

His WW2 dog tags.

Swallowing thickly, you blinked back your emotion. Why the fuck were even so sad? You weren’t even dating the man. Sure, you’d been his friend for years. You’d been protecting him. He’d been protecting you. You’d been his right-hand man practically.

But, still!

With a lump in your throat, you carefully placed the dog tags over your head. The dog tags were cold against your chest. You tucked them under your shirt, inhaling shakily.

With one last look around the room, you turned around and walked out, with a basket of laundry balanced on your hip.

You weren’t going to rest until you found out the truth. That was for sure.

A/N: sorry for the lack of soldier boy in this chap :( he makes his grand return next chapter !!! in all his sexist glory lmao. he’s so fun to write, tho i do feel like a horrible person writing some of the shit he says. definitely fun to explore this universe and all its fucked up possibilities. thank you guys for the support on chap one :’) <3 next chap will also be longer promise

banners in use by @cafekitsune

TAGLIST: @onlyangel-444 @deans-spinster-witch @fumolemon @anundyingfidelity @mostlymarvelgirl @aaronhotchnerlover @delaynew @let-me-luve-you @yvonneeeee @livsh20 @thej2report @lostin-jensenseyes

#soldier boy #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x female reader #the boys #the boys tv #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #half of me

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amaryllidaceaee · 5 months

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petrigrof thoughts and emotional permanence (mostly simon here still thinking abt betty) and also its 87% projection from me

but im not a psychologist. ive never taken a psych class and so lol im thinking in the abstract

so simon obviously has a low self image and poor self esteem right

and this isn't a recent thing because he was like this before. Like this cut line where he literally asks betty if this is a trick (maybe because he has been before, or maybe because he can't imagine someone showing a genuine interest in him)

but also i think of another display of simon's insecurity pre fully transforming into ice king

After betty disappears when he jumps to the conclusion that since betty "left him" she didn't love him anymore.

Which in hindsight sounds like an assumption.

If your fiance presumably of a while disappears are you going to assume that

a) something might have happened to them to make them literally vanish from the earth and I dunno look for them or file a missing persons report or something

or b) they obviously disappeared because you said something wrong and now they left you and dont love you anymore!!!!

Emotional Permanence: is being able to understand your loved ones still love and care about you even when you or they aren't there or telling you this explicitly

To assume the second she leaves that means she stopped loving him as opposed to literally any other logical conclusion is part of his own insecurity that was always there. Its also unintentionally because he has a hard time trusting others to keep thinking about him even when hes not there.

tldr: simon insecure petrikov

#simon petrikov #adventure time #betty grof #petrigrof

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bonny-kookoo · 1 year

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Jungkook

W.D.Y.W.F.M [Prelude]

Jungkook could've adopted anybody else, really. He's gotten to know a lot of hybrids left and right during his time at the carecenter and foster homes- low maintenance ones, friendly ones, ones that are easy to be around. So why would he want you?

Tags/Warnings: Idol!Jungkook, Hybrid!Reader, Fox Hybrid!Reader, mentions of trauma, Reader isn't cute & cuddly in this at all, manhandling (not the spicy kind), sort of brat-tamer Jungkook but not in the kinky way if that makes sense? This is set about four years back when he didn't have any tattoos nor facial piercings since this is a prelude to the main story

Length: 3.4k words

THERE IS NO TAGLIST FOR THIS FIC!

A/N: so many were upset I'm not writing any more hybrid jk stories so yum yum the appetizer is served hope you're hungry

-> Masterlist

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Jeon Jungkook is stupid.

You don't like him, you don't like his staff running around, you don't like his managers eyeing you constantly like you're some serial killer waiting to strike. It's not like you've got any issue with him- you just don't like people like him, easy and simple. Idols have been at this shelter before, and all of them have simply taken some photos, played around with the toddlers or easy to handle hybrids, before they'd leave and take all the plus points for their image.

It's pretty much a running joke amongst more permanent residents like you are- because funnily enough, all Idols prior have all had some sort of scandal before they'd filmed here. From bullying allegations, to dating rumors or even drug scandals- you wonder what he's got caught up in to end here.

But honestly, what's it to you anyways.

You can see him look at you with his stupid round eyes, a caretaker next to him explaining something while motioning towards her neck. They're probably talking about your bright red collar that you have to wear whenever you've got visitors like him- a warning sign that'll hopefully keep him at distance from you, because you really don't want to deal with his shit at all. He's the first male Idol that's come here in a long time, so he might try and act tough- but god knows you won't let him have that.

You won't be used ever again.

Your look at him with an almost satisfied look when he's held back by the caretaker, his attempt at walking towards you denied by her as she shakes her head and leads him somewhere else. He's looking back at you, and there's an odd look on his face before he turns around and follows her presumably to the younger hybrids.

Good for him.

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Turns out there was no reason for him to be here except pure curiosity on his part.

He's been apparently searching for a hybrid to take in for a bit now, and has decided on his own to improve the shelters reputation by not only donating a huge shit ton of money to it, but also by filming his experience in a more VLog style format. You can see the microphone he has had on his shirt gone at this point, and you're not sure why.

Won't his managers want to listen in on what he says, so they can monitor him?

You're pretty sure he's got his eyes on one of the pretty cat hybrids. Yumi is her name, and you can see why he'd want her- she's incredibly pretty and comes originally from a good home- only given into government care because her owner had to undergo surgery and couldn't take care of her any longer. She's nice- a bit arrogant sometimes, out of touch with reality due to her rather expensive lifestyle, but maybe it'll fit him. He's living the same lavish life as well, after all.

Luxury isn't something you know.

You watch as some hybrids outside play tag, and you wish you could join in. But you can't- you always play too rough the caretakers complain, and most importantly, you're not allowed outside without a caretaker present anyways. So you just huff to yourself, and watch from your spot.

"Do you want something particular for lunch?" Someone asks, and you snap your head around, not having noticed him coming so close. He immediately backs off a step with palms open, an attempt at trying to soothe you. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle youm" He apologizes.

You don't answer.

"Miss Kim wanted to know what you wanted for lunch?" He asks again, and you shrug silently. You don't care what you're getting. You stopped caring long ago.

"Dont care." You say, and he's got the audacity to laugh.

"I don't think 'don't care' is on the menu today." He jokes.

You don't react. He doesn't seem fazed. His joke is lame. Does this shit work usually for him? Probably, but they only laugh because he's got the money.

He takes your silence as your conversation finished, and so he just nods respectfully, before leaving you be again.

And at lunch, you notice that you've got a bit more rice than usual in your bowl.

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Jungkook is loud.

He laughs a lot, plays with many hybrids without any sense of how he looks like, doesn't seem to be bothered by any of it. But he's also started to talk to you, and you honestly don't know if you like or hate it.

"Come on, everyone's got a favorite food." Jungkook laughs, having sat down with you today instead of the other hybrids. You're not sure why. The cameras aren't even running, he's not vlogging anything, no microphone attached to him. Or maybe that's exactly why he wants to interact with you now. Cause you're not pretty enough to be in one of his idol videos.

You shrug, not answering him. "..dunno." You mumble, before you look at one of the careworkers accepting the daily food delivery from a worker. "Chicken? Maybe.." You say, just so he can finally shut up and leave. But he doesn't.

He instead smiles, probably even fueled now that you've interacted with him. Well, fuck.

"Ah, I like chicken too." He agrees. "Very good choice. I think you're having Chicken for dinner today?" He wonders, and you nod, more or less to yourself, holding onto your tail. "How long have you been here?" He asks, and you shrug again.

"Dunno." You answer, yet again. "Long." You say.

"Never had been adopted?" He wonders, and you scoff.

"No one want's something like me." You say, picking at your tail. "Not when there's.. so many pretty cats and dogs around.. that don't tear up furniture n' stuff." You say with a pout, making him smile in sympathy.

The careworkers have already told him about you. Where you came from, how long you've been here, why you'll probably stay here- you came here very young from an exotic breeding program, stayed here because of severe behavioral issues. No one wants to deal with you- just like you said.

Jungkook himself however, feels different. You just seem a bit lost, out of place, unsure of everything. With a bit of work, a leading hand, and a good environment, you'd surely blossom into a lovely companion.

Though, hours later, he's confronted with what 'severe behavioral issues' can mean.

You're up in a tree.

It's by your own choice- you love being up here, where no one can do anything but watch as you're out of reach. It's a little moment of control you get, a tiny glimpse of choice- but of course, this stupid idol boy has to ruin that for you.

Most caretakers are either too old or too short to reach you- but Jungkook is neither of those things, as he grabs a small step ladder and reaches out to you. "Please come down, okay?" He says. "No one's mad-" he tries, but you don't let him.

"Bullshit." You scoff at him, moving your foot away from his reaching hand. "They're all pissed I'm up here." You huff angrily.

"No, they're all worried that you're up here." He corrects you. "We don't want you to fall down and hurt yourself-"

"I won't." You simply say. "I'm capable enough."

"I believe you." He says, making you falter a bit in your aggressive state. "But I also think that you should come down." He tells you.

"Well, and I think I'll stay up here." You deny, turning to climb even higher.

It's when his hand grabs your ankle.

"Hey!" You hiss, trying to pull away- but fuck, he's strong.

"I'm sorry, but you're not leaving me with much choice." He apologizes, before pulling, effectively getting you out of the short tree, pulling your body against his as he steps down from the ladder. He can feel something scratch his biceps- probably you, since you're actively trying as hard as you can to escape his grip. It's not the typical tamper tantrum a toddler would do- no. He knows this type of behavior.

It's fear.

So he makes sure to hold onto you even when back inside, making sure you don't just run off and possibly try and escape through the backyard again- caretakers closing the doors before he even thinks about letting go of you. It makes him think if you just simply aren't used to close physical contact at all- because you're trembling, while simultaneously frozen solid.

What happened to you to make you this way?

"I'm sorry, okay?" He tells you, but you don't answer- not that he'd expected you to. "Just wanted to let you know." He hums, before he loosens his grip, letting you instantly stumble away, hurrying out of everyone's sight and into one of the hiding tents set up for the more anti-social hybrids.

And he doesn't see you for the rest of the day.

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The next day, he's not even properly in yet, when he's already being talked to about what happened yesterday- mainly cause the careworker probably saw him search for you amongst the tired hybrids waking up from their naps.

"She refused to eat dinner after you left." The careworker tells him as he puts his bag down, and Jungkook lowers his brows in confusion.

"Why?" He wonders, unsure. You're not very attached to him, rarely interact openly with anybody let alone him- and he's realized it might simply be because you don't like him and his rather bubbly personality that much.

"I think it might be self-punishment for what happened yesterday." She sighs, pointing to the large bandaid covering his biceps- your scratch no longer hurting at all, the cover just on it for hygiene's sake. "She feels guilty."

"But it wasn't her fault?" He asks, not sure why you'd take the blame for things so far out of your control. "I knew what I'd potentially get myself into when I offered to bring her back inside- and she didn't get me that bad anyways." He shrugs, and the worker nods.

"Well, she certainly doesn't see it that way." She says, giving Jungkook his name tag and vest so he can start his last week, cameras at this point no longer really filming much since they've got plenty of content to work with. "You did great, honestly- handled her really well, but she might feel embarrassed now that you've witnessed her outbursts on yourself rather than just from afar." She explains, and he sighs to himself. He instantly searches for you amongst the hybrids, greeting almost everyone fleetingly as his eyes scan the environment.

He spots you sitting in a corner, observing rather than joining in- just like you always do.

"Hey-" he carefully squats down a respectful distance away from you, casually patting his bandaid once he spots you staring at it. "-all by yourself again?" He wonders, and you just shrug.

You don't answer him, crossing your arms instead.

"Heard you skipped dinner yesterday." He asks casually, sitting down now to engage in conversation. He knows that you get antsy when confronted like this- but you have to learn somehow. Everyone just wrapping you in cotton won't help you long term.

"Wasn't hungry." You mumble, avoiding eye contact. Why does he have to talk to you? This is stupid.

"Lie." He chuckles. "You were talking about how much you liked chicken to me yesterday." He calls you out, and you just pull your knees closer to yourself, tail wrapping around them as well. "You didn't hurt me much at all, you know?" He offers softly after some time of just observing you.

"…still." You argue quietly, shaking your head. "Yumi is looking-"

"But I'm talking to you right now." Jungkook disagrees amused, keeping his attention on you. "You're not a bad person." He tells you, and you grow angry suddenly. Not at him- but at yourself, because why are you such a crybaby that you're crying about a simple sentence like that? He probably doesn't even mean it, he just says it for his stupid media-stunt he's pulling. "You wanna go eat breakfast with me?" He wonders, and you shake your head. "Too bad." He chuckles, reaching out his hand to touch your wrist, simply tapping his fingers against it. "Come on, up up, I'm hungry." He says, getting up-

But you don't follow.

"I don't want to." You deny, and he sighs, leaving you be. It's fine like this- you don't need him to play some sort of Savior for you, not at all. He can show off his kindness to his fan base or whatever, you don't really care at all. He's living his life, while you'll live yours- no matter how bland it might be.

A bowl is placed at your feet, another plate with a lot of food placed down as well. "Didn't know what you wanted so-" he explains, before sitting down again in front of you. "-I just got whatever I myself eat." He shrugs casually, starting to grab the first bite.

"Your microphone isn't on." You comment, pointing to the front of his shirt where it would typically sit.

"I know." He simply answers nonchalantly, continuing to eat. You start to lift your hand to bite at your fingers, and he reaches out without fear to gently pull your wrist away from your face, before pointing to the food. "Eat. Or do you want something else?" He wonders, but you shake your head.

You are hungry.

"…'m sorry." You tell him with a crack in your voice, and he nods at you with a smile.

"I know." He answers truthfully, reaching out to tap one of your droopy ears. "But you don't have to be." He shrugs, unknowingly surprising a careworker watching from the sidelines. You're pretty jumpy with contact- you hate fast movements, loud noises, sudden things you're not prepared for. He himself notices as well- the way you flinch on instinct as he reaches out to you.

But you don't immediately try and defend yourself against him, and that's new.

Jungkook has, up until this point, simply never given you any reason to fear him. He's not very careful, very fidgety, and a little loud whenever he gets excited- but he's also gentle, and doesn't hold any bad intentions.

Though that doesn't mean that you trust him- at least not yet.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

"I don't wanna." You deny, as he holds out your bright red collar to you. "Go take Yumi." You huff, and he sighs, letting his head hang for a second before he picks himself up.

"I don't want to go out with Yumi, I wanna go out with you." He makes sure to emphasize, holding the collar out again. "So let's go outside." He offers.

"Outside is.." You look out the window. It's sunny, pretty warm, a light breeze. There's no reason to not go outside- except one. "I.. get too excited." You say quietly, shrinking in on yourself.

"That's what the collar is for." He gently tells you. "So we can track you if you get lost- though I'll keep my eye on you at all times." The idol tells you in a playfully warning tone, making you look at him.

"What if I bite you?" You ask, and he shrugs. "Or scratch you again-"

"Then that's on me." He says, putting the collar forwards again. "You're so scared of yourself, and I want you to see that there's no reason for it." He tells you.

"There's plenty of reasons." You start arguing.

"Okay, listen." His voice is suddenly holds a lot more.. authority, and it makes your ears stand up, whole body a bit tense. "Do you want to go outside, yes or no." He asks.

"I can-" You start, he shakes his head.

"Yes or no." He demands, and you look at him with ears down low now in clear submission.

"…yes." You answer, and he chuckles, not just because you're so cute, but because that small little thing he did with you pretty much tells him everything he needs to know about you. So he carefully reaches out and clips the collar around your neck, before he gets up to open the door, going outside with you.

And not even an hour in, he realizes what you meant with 'too excited'.

It's absolutely adorable.

You're chirping at the birds in the trees, ocassionally having to be reminded that no, you can't climb them, and other times you run off to hunt a stray squirrel or two- but you're not difficult to handle for him, really. Especially once he brings out a rubber ball to kick, you get absolutely hyper, running after it and kicking it back and forth with him, tail wagging and your laughter filling the garden.

But it's only after you both play tag, you running into him as you catch him, both of you lying in the grass with heavy breathing that he realizes that he's found what he'd been looking for. You're still so full of happy excitement that you probably don't even realize you're hugging him, clinging onto him with a wagging tail, and he's sure that yes-

you're the one.

You're perfect for him.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

"Huh?" You ask, completely caught off guard.

Sure, you've both gotten closer overall during the few weeks he's been here- going outside, even going shopping together as some sort of 'desensitization activity', eating together- and yeah, you've grown to like him, actually. But he's talking about fostering. And fostering is the first step towards permanent adoption.

Why would he want you?

"I want to take you home with me. See how you'll like it." He simply says, leaning on his hands behind his back, casually giving you the news. "I'll have some schedules, so it'll be pretty much exactly how it'd be if I was to permanently take you home- and I wanna see if you're cool with that." He explains.

"But.." You start, unsure. "What if I-" You start, and he dramatically lets himself fall onto the floor.

"I've got insurance for my home, if you break something we'll fix it or replace it, if you bite me I'll bite you back, if you scratch me I'll put a bandaid on it, if you run off I'll tag you with my phone app. Did I miss anything?" He asks, and you look at him with furrowed brows.

"You'll bite me back?" You ask confused, and he laughs.

"Yep!" He simply says. "So?" He wonders, and you shrug.

"I can't.. really tell you what to do." You mumble, again not looking at him.

"Hey." He suddenly says, pulling on the tip of your tail- something that he knows isn't something anyone can do without risking a reaction from you. "Look at me." He demands gently, and you do, though it's slightly awkward with him laying on the floor like that. Still, he manages to make you feel his dominance- not physically, but different. Mentally. "Do you want to come home with me, yes or no. You know the game at this point." He chuckles.

"…yes." You softly answer, and he grins at that.

Instantly getting up to get all the paperwork ready.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #hybrid imagine #jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook imagine #bts jeon jungkook x reader #bts jeon jungkook imagine

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yunarim · 9 months

Text

╰┈➤ summary : you and your reliable partner grim are the most famous interdimensional travelers under the Official Isekai Association. you're used to traveling into psychological thrillers and horrors. however, this time something goes wrong, and you suddenly turn into the protagonist of… an otome game?!

— characters : jade leech, leona kingscholar | kalim al-asim, azul ashengrotto | lilia vanrouge, idia shroud

⌞tags⌝ : gn reader, fluff at times, occasional angst (more angst for kalim's & azul's parts actually), typical manhwas tropes, mention of a typical isekai manhwa death by truck hit... yeah, you go from the first route to the last (from jade to idia), hence the parts are connected

— w.c. : 6.4k+

⌞notes⌝ : continuing with the second part of the series ~

“Based on your expression, is the walkthrough going smoothly?”

Grim asked, jumping on the bed you were laying at, and placed his head on your stomach, chewing something smelling like fish, and you hated the fact you were still not recovered after being pointed out what you smell like by Leona.

“I mean, I can’t see the progress, given you’re the protagonist for this genre,” Grim noticed. “How many are left tho?”

So that's how it looked from someone else’s perspective. Just routes to finish, game characters, literary images, not people who could feel, have their own personalities, and… Feel something for you. You have never thought about otome games before, they were out of your qualification, and now you were sure enough that once you escape this world, you’ll ask your boss to never transmigrate you to otome genre ever again.

Funny enough, you’re used to dating. Sometimes counterfeiting feelings was a key to the true ending, so you just had to do that at times, but you never actually felt something yourself. And surely you didn't feel loved.

“Four,” you answered after a short pause, closing your eyes.

“Make sure to do your job well, henchman,” Grim yawned. “I’ll help you with my magic!”

“Yes…” You replied vaguely, appreciating that thanks to Grim you were given an opportunity to even stay here in NRC, considering you possessed no magic. “I’ll try my best…”

Even if you wanted to leave as soon as you could, having no desire to leave these people all alone after you suddenly crashed into their lives.

You couldn’t find a proper way to name all the boys routes of whom you needed to… finish. Targets? Characters? Lovers? No, that wasn’t it.

In any case, you checked Kalim Al-Asim’s profile before heading to school. A bright, cheerful person radiating nothing but happiness and joy, a complete opposite of your gloomy and indifferent self. You presumed he would be easy to approach, given how easy-going he seemed, but his social status made you question the ease of the walkthrough.

A son of a wealthy merchant, close to royalty again. Fine, you wondered if going through Leona’s route made you stronger and more experienced.

After a half of the day passed you’ve realized you couldn’t find Kalim that easily as you first thought you would. Probably he was being more secure than Leona, and you tried your best investigating where he could be. Most obviously somewhere in his dormitory, Scarabia, but you preferred not to enter the dormitories itselves, ‘playing’ on neutral waters. The transmigrator currency was still the same, because you were paid only after completing the whole story, so you ran out of money to buy the info about Kalim’s location.

After the classes you also realized you haven’t had enough sleep because of memories made with Leona haunting you at night, and you most probably needed to brew some coffee, which caused you to remember Jade and frown.

No, it’s not the right time to think about them, you thought, entering the school’s kitchen and stumbling upon someone, your forehead hitting someone else’s.

“Oh, I’m very sorry, I didn’t notice… Huh?”

You raised your head, pressing a hand to your forehead, and gasped when you realized it was none other than Kalim Al-Asim, who was mirroring your actions and massaging his head with his hand.

“Oh, isn’t it Yuu! Nice to meet you! I’m Kalim Al-Asim, but you can call me Kalim!”

You were spellbound to say something at the moment, appreciating his wonderful appearance and drowning in the melted gold of his eyes.

“Nice to meet you too— Eh?”

Before you wanted to continue, a pink glow above his head made you jolt.

The heart icon was already filled up to half of it.

Your eyes widened. You’ve only met him! And you were sure that you hadn't met him earlier in previous walkthroughs, so how?..

“Oh, did I hit you too hard?! Oh no, what to do… Jamil, we should call a doctor!!”

Kalim’s face radiating genuine worry appeared too close to yours, and you realized that you fell silent extremely suddenly. You shook your head, replying with a confused smile.

“I’m alright, just lost in thoughts. How are you, though? I hit you too…”

“I’m okay!” He giggled at you, and his contagious laugh flowed to you, causing you to chuckle softly. “But still, we need to make sure you’re fine. Jamil, we should—”

“Yuu-san doesn’t seem to be in danger. Quit exaggerating.”

Ah, right. Jamil Viper, a person in Kalim’s profile mentioned as his personal ‘servant’.

His figure appeared behind Kalim’s back and approached you. Jamil somehow reminded you of yourself with how composed and calm he looked, observing if everything was right with your forehead. You outstretched your hand to Jamil, regaining composure.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Yuu,” you said, receiving a silent nod.

“Jamil Viper,” he replied when you two shared a handshake, but a sudden Kalim’s complaint cut your strict-seeming atmosphere.

“I want to shake your hand too, Yuu!!”

“Okay, no problem?..”

You watched through him, focusing on the heart icon filled up to the half, and deepened into your thoughts.

Apparently the icon was filled thrice, and all three times symbolized three significant events happening throughout the routes. But given you two just met… Wasn’t the system making mistakes?

“Did you want to use the kitchen? You can join us! We’re preparing dishes for the party held in Scarabia. Right, join us at the party, too!!”

“You surely are enthusiastic, Kalim,” you smiled at him.

“Stop inviting everyone without thinking twice,” Jamil sighed. “Not to be rude to you, Yuu-san.”

“It’s alright, I understand. Thank you for your offer, but it’s just what Viper said. I’ll make sure to join you one day, but I’ve got plans today.”

You actually hadn’t any other plans than getting Kalim to know better, and the party was an excellent opportunity, but at the same time you didn’t want to get too deep to the point you would miss him dearly after finishing his route too. It was getting hard for you to just have friendly chats with them, then growing closer to the point you couldn’t just leave them anymore.

You wanted to play it safe with Kalim, although suspecting you would fail miserably.

“Okay! Then come tomorrow. Or the day after, we’re going to have parties every day during this week~”

“Haha, that’s very generous of you,” you giggled. “Maybe I can help you with cooking today?”

“No need, I—” Jamil started talking, but Kalim’s bright shine overlapped Jamil’s words.

“It’s a brilliant idea, Jamil works so hard, it must be really tough! Right, I’ll help too!”

“You… you stay still,” Jamil sighed with a heaviness and annoyance, then looked at you. “Yuu-san is enough. Just watch.”

“Fi~ne!”

You asked Jamil where you could find an apron, and he suddenly appeared in front of you, pulling the piece of clothing over you and tying strings behind your back.

“Oh, thank you,” you almost whispered, not expecting Jamil to be so close to you, and glanced over to catch Kalim’s sudden gaze you couldn’t decipher, but a familiar glimpse of overjoy fled from his deep eyes for a mere second, and a bitter smile grew on his face.

“Ah, I know!!” He suddenly jumped from the chair he was sitting on. “Yuu, you’re living in Ramshackle, right?!”

“Why do I feel like he’s going to suggest something crazy,” Jamil mumbled, but Kalim ignored him.

“Yes, I am,” you nodded.

“You’ll be free at 10 o’clock in the evening?”

You blinked absentmindedly.

“I guess so. Why?”

“Then just be at home at the time! You’ll see~”

“Alright?..”

You heard Jamil sighing again and decided to let it be, grabbing vegetables you needed to chop, and continued your work, accompanied by Kalim’s soft cheerful singing.

You expected anything but a magic carpet ride at 10 o’clock in the evening.

“Ready, Yuu?”

“No, I’m noooooot!!—”

And with that you flew straight into the night sky followed by Kalim’s happy noises.

Actually, you thought that after dying for the very first time and then transmigrating from one world into another, make that cyclical, you would fear nothing, but suddenly soaring into the sky wasn’t included in your plans.

But after seeing the canvas of the island and the sheet of the forest, framed by the endless sea from a bird's eye view, you were so enchanted that thoughts left your head, leaving only admiration.

“It’s beautiful, right?” Kalim said, looking at you and knowing you’re not noticing.

“It is…” You whispered, remembering the same sky when you were enjoying fireworks with Jade, and shook your head. “Thank you for showing it to me!”

“He-he~ You couldn’t come to the party, so this is my apology for hitting you earlier.”

“As I’ve mentioned, it’s my fault too. I hit you too…”

“Aw come on Yuu, it’s okay. You even helped Jamil with food preparations.”

“Ah, yes,” you nodded. “He’s a wonderful cook, I wasn’t expecting!”

Corners of Kalim’s lips went slightly down, but he returned to his usual happy look when you turned to him.

“Right?? He’s incredible! There’s nothing he can’t do!”

“You surely like him, right?” You smiled at him cheerfully. “You seem to be very fond of him.”

“Don’t you think so too? You’ll realize how cool he is when you grow closer to him. Do you need any help? I’ve noticed your chemistry today~”

Your smile dropped, brows knitting together. Why would he say that?..

“I don’t think so?.. Is there any particular reason for me to get closer to Viper? Not to be offensive, of course.”

“Eh?” Kalim was obviously startled. “You don’t want to? But Jamil’s wonderful person and—”

“Kalim,” you stopped him. “I don’t quite get it at all and no, I have no intention of getting closer to Jamil. I mean, sure, I don’t know what can happen in the future, but as for the present, am I not being with you right now?”

Kalim gasped, gazing at you in surprise.

“I see he’s an important person to you, but we’re enjoying the evening together right now. Let’s talk about you instead, what do you think?”

“Oh,” he said. “You’re… what an interesting person you are, Yuu!”

“Y-yes? Me?..”

“Yeah! What do you want to know about me then?”

“Let’s see…” You hummed, returning your eyes to the sky. “Hm… suddenly I can’t think of anything.”

“People often ask if my family hires someone for a job, or does a certain facility belong to my family, or something like that… Would you like to ask something along those lines?”

“Kalim, wait, I think you’re misinterpreting my intentions,” you turned to him again, gently placing your hand above his. “I’m not going to be an employee under your family’s business. Why would you even think about it? I wanted to be friends in the first place.”

“Ah, friends!! Aren’t we friends already though?” He blinked at you. “Oh, wait, no, I should give you something!! Do you prefer gold or silver? Or maybe jewelry?”

“Kalim!!” You raised your voice, feeling a little overwhelmed. “I don’t need any of those. I was about to ask if you’re okay, it’s getting chilly…”

“Eh?”

“What?”

“Oh,” he laughed, his cheeks growing red out of shame. “Sorry, Yuu. It was just a precaution.”

“I don’t think I follow?”

“No, don’t worry. You’re an interesting person, indeed…”

You sighed, letting yourself lay down on the carpet and exhale the freshness of the night chilly air, and stare at the stars.

“I don’t know you well. It’s literally the first day we know each other,” you started. “I don’t know your circumstances and what you meant by saying it was a precaution, but… it’s alright if you don’t trust me. But I can assure you that it’s okay, I don’t mind, considering I’m an alien from another dimension, it is only natural to question my intentions. And yet I want you to know that I just want to enjoy this evening to its maximum, and your company is very pleasant to me. We can even sit still and remain silent, somehow I think you’re a safe person to stay alone with. It’s cozy. Ah, sorry, I think I went overboard… Kalim?”

You shifted your gaze to him, meeting his widened eyes and parted lips, and then you blushed, realizing you really did go overboard, saying all your thoughts so easily, but you really couldn’t help yourself.

Kalim suddenly burst into laughter, flopping down on the carpet with you and continuing giggling softly to the point that tears started accumulating in the corners of his eyes.

“Are you alright? I said something stupid, sorry…”

“You’re not just an interesting person, Yuu,” he smiled, turning his head to you, giving you a realization he was extremely close to your face. “You’re wonderful.”

“I thought Viper was,” you chuckled, smiling at him and seeing him closing his eyes.

“Jamil is wonderful, that’s true. And you’re also wonderful. But you’re…”

He fell silent, leaving you without an explanation.

“No, it’s nothing. You’re truly something. Thank you for saying all that to me, Yuu.”

“Remember, Kalim,” your hand acted on itself, grabbing his and interviewing fingers with his. “You’re wonderful, too. Appreciate yourself.”

And with a bright smile you showed to him, you also noticed the heart was filled to the max. You opened your eyes at once, jolting and causing Kalim to question what happened.

No… no, you couldn’t leave him just yet!! Not like that, not after you haven’t figured out an indescribable sadness in his eyes!!

“K-Kalim…” You mumbled, your fingers trembling slightly. “You’re still here…”

“Hm?” He tilted his head. “Of course I am, silly! Where else could I be?”

“You’re right…” You exhaled sharply, drawing him closer to you and enveloping in a tight hug. “Yes, you’re here. I’m glad.”

“Yuu?..”

His whole body was warm, and no bright light filled up the place, reassuring you that right at the moment everything was alright.

Two weeks passed since you two went on a magic carpet ride, and surprisingly you two really did talk, ate together during breaks, the time seemed to stop its flow. The heart icon above Kalim’s head was glowing with soft pink, filled to the top, and you couldn’t comprehend all that was happening. Your own heart and feelings resembled a ticking bomb ready to blow with all anticipation you’ve carried.

Did he really feel something for you? But it was impossible to crush down the whole transmigrator system, you knew it was programmed just perfectly and flawlessly, never making any mistakes in its calculations. You’ve requested a percentage of Kalim’s indicators, which you never did here before since the procedure took a lot of time to analyze everything. And today it finally arrived, shocking you even more than you thought it would.

His so-called love meter was filled up to 100%, meaning he definitely fell for you, however…Why hasn’t his route finished yet?

Suddenly a familiar tall figure appeared in the entrance, and you recognized Jade glancing your way curiously.

Shit, you thought, clenching your shirt.

“Yuu? You okay?” Kalim asked you, his head on your shoulder.

You were sitting under the tree in the school yard, Jamil sitting at your left and doing homework.

“Yeah, sorry I startled your sleep.”

“Nope, I wasn’t sleeping actually. Oh, isn’t it Jade over there? Hey, Jade!”

You wanted to tell Kalim not to ask Jade to come closer, but you actually had no right to do that, and nodded politely to Leech, escaping his focused look.

“Good afternoon, Kalim-san, Jamil-san. Yuu-san,” he greeted everyone, not letting his eyes shift from you. “How interesting to see you three together. I presumed Yuu-san… No, forgive me.”

“Yuu is really fun to be with, don’t you agree?” Kalim cheerfully smiled at Jade. “Right, would you love to join us? We’re having a picnic.”

“Would be wonderf—”

“Ah,” you suddenly mumbled, attracting Jade and Kalim’s attention. “Sorry, I think I should get going soon. You three may continue, though, I’m sorry…”

“Eh?” Kalim looked at you. “I thought you wanted to become friends with Jade?..”

“... Apparently Yuu-san is feeling uncomfortable in my presence,” Jade smiled slyly. “It is quite alright. I’ll get going then.”

“Ah, no, I… And he’s gone.” You whispered to yourself.

Right. It wasn’t his route. Anymore.

And before Kalim managed to ask you if you actually wanted to befriend Jade and that he could help, you all saw Leona approaching you with a strange look on his face.

This day will be the death of you, really.

“Hello, Leona—”

“Herbivore,” Leona interrupted Kalim’s cheerful greeting. “Care to explain what the hell?”

“What do you mean, Leo… Kingscholar,” you carried a habit of calling your current ‘love interests’ by their name, and since Leona’s heart already disappeared, you shook your head.

“You smell like me. And to remind you, we’ve interacted only once when you stepped on my tail.”

Kalim’s smile dropped, and his usually bright and warm features turned into worried and sad, which wasn’t left unnoticed by Jamil, who apparently had enough.

“I… I have no idea…”

“Senpai,” Jamil suddenly said, grabbing Leona’s hand. “Let me explain.”

“Hah?” Leona asked, annoyed. “The hell?”

“Just. Let me. Explain. Okay?”

Jamil looked at you with an expression saying ‘talk to Kalim immediately or I’ll punch you’, to which you gulped and nodded, thanking him silently.

“You’re so popular, Yuu!” Kalim said when Jamil forcefully dragged Leona out. “Everyone wants to get closer to you! Still don’t want me to help you with Jamil? His eyes were so dreamy when he looked at you just now!”

His eyes most definitely weren’t dreamy at all, though…

“Kalim,” you turned to him, taking his hands in yours and looking at him with all the seriousness you’ve got. “Stop misinterpreting my feelings. Please?”

“What do you mean?..”

“Be a little more selfish!” You pushed. “And please don’t decide for me or for Jamil or for anyone else. If I wanted to befriend Jamil, or Jade, or Leona, or—agh it doesn’t matter who exactly!—believe me, I would do that already. And yet I’m trying to spend more time with you. Did you question why?”

Because I need to finish your route and get on another one… Or so you thought, but that wasn’t the case anymore.

You wanted to understand Kalim, to let him feel love and happiness, and as for you… It was enough if he could be happy, even if you couldn’t bring yourself to fall in love with anyone in this school.

It was painful, but you couldn’t deny it anymore — all of them, Jade, Leona, and Kalim — they became dear and important people in your life, who changed it for the better.

You couldn’t remember when was the last time you smiled genuinely, transmigrating into horrors and thrillers, and here you were, smiling at Kalim and embracing him with a sincerity you never thought you possessed.

“You always wish for other people’s happiness, restraining yourself and not enjoying the time you spend to its fullest. But Kalim, at least when you’re with me, don’t think about anyone. Think about yourself and… Let your own heart decide.”

“My heart…” He whispered, lowering his gaze, and you welcomed him in a soft embrace, drawing him to your chest. “Alright. Yuu!”

A familiar bright light you’ve been growing to hate each time appeared once again, and you worriedly glanced at Kalim, who was smiling.

“I fell in love with you at first sight, Yuu. Thank you for not betraying my trust and teaching me important things. This is my gratitude.”

He pressed his lips to your forehead, and the last thing you saw was an image of his rosy cheeks and the most bright and genuine smile you’ve ever seen in your life.

“Thank you, too, Kalim.”

And the hell to the system transporting you to your room in Ramshackle again, labeling Kalim’s route as ‘COMPLETED’.

“Y’know, sometimes it scares me when you finish another route.”

Waking up next to Grim after completing a walkthrough became a tradition you already wished to be let burn in ashes.

“What do you mean?” You ask emotionlessly.

Now that you think about it, you didn’t want to even find out who Azul Ashengrotto was. You possessed no desire, letting your inner child arise, and wishing for everything to begone. You were at the point of no return, and it was already driving you crazy. You certainly weren’t the type to abandon your duties and responsibilities, you've been chosen as an employee of the month more than once, your colleagues often staring at you in surprise at how you managed to save your psyche unscathed after surviving the most horrid things people could witness.

And now you were closing your eyes, swallowing the urge to cry your eyes out and let you out of this circle of repeating routes. You didn’t want to love or be loved, you wanted to do your job. For what reason though? You never questioned, appreciating the chance to live endlessly after dying, wandering around the worlds with aeons passing through.

You considered people here your responsibility, too. Normally you were okay with leaving the characters of the finished stories behind, justice being jubilated, and you coming back to the office and letting bosses choose another story for you to enter.

“I mean,” Grim said, crawling to your stomach. “It’s kinda terrifying to see how we remember ‘em, meet ‘em and casually chat, but they don’t even know what happened.”

“You’re right…” He really was. “Though I think they have some feelings left after I… after completing.”

“Fugnya?”

“Leona seems to have my scent lingering on him, Jade also looks like he remembers something. I think Kalim wouldn’t be too much different.”

“Isn’t it even worse than if they didn't remember you at all?”

It was worse, and Grim was right, hitting you right to the core. It was a living nightmare, knowing they possessed a feeling of you experiencing something together, and you were still here, they could ask you, see you, feel you at some point.

But what will they do when you leave?

“... I don’t want to get closer to Ashengrotto.”

“He’s your next target, right?” Grim asked. “But you need to.”

“I know,” you inhaled soundly with a heaviness in your chest. “So I came up with another plan.”

“What kind of? By the way, I don’t know about you, but as for me, I’d hurry up and finish ‘em all already.”

“Just to remind you, they’re not objects I could simply manipulate for my own purposes.”

“And you’re not an object yourself to excruciate yourself like that.”

You swallowed an objection, knowing Grim was surprisingly right.

“As for the plan,” you shrugged the previous topic off. “You’ll see. I hope at least I will entertain Ashengrotto.”

You definitely had no intention of getting closer to Azul. From the very beginning after reading his profile and seeing 90% of the difficulty level to the point you weren’t sure if you’re capable enough to finish it yourself.

You’ve created a scheme fitting Azul’s demeanor and attitude, however weren’t sure if it’s going to work, considering you actually wanted to make the system crash down and send you back to the office during the maintenance to never ever remembering everything again.

Feelings were hard to possess. It wasn’t love, but it was you receiving it. You were sure they all loved you differently — out of interest, of accepting, of admiration. You, on the other hand, couldn’t name your feelings accurately, but you knew that emotions were scary, unknown and addictingly enchanting.

Which is why you’ve entered Ashengrotto’s office with a feigned smile and a confidence you always seemed to demonstrate in other stories you’ve transmigrated into. Maybe a change of tactics would do?

“Ah, Yuu-san. Welcome to the Mostro Lounge.”

It, of course, was Jade who met you. You knew every corner of the Lounge after spending some time here with Leech, and now, receiving his unwaveringly polite smile, you answered with the same expression, greeting him cheerfully.

“Good afternoon, Leech.”

“How formal,” Jade noticed, but you tried to remain indifferent. “Alright, Yuu-san. How can I help you?”

“I’ve requested a meeting with Ashengrotto.”

And you had no intention of calling Azul by his name in his own route.

It was controversial. You needed to gain his love and win his trust, but at the same time you weren’t sure for 100%, wanting to escape and let this be as it is.

“Oh, indeed. Please follow me.”

His wide shoulders and arms that strongly held you when you almost fell off the cliff. The scent of the sea waves surrounding his figure and the way he glanced at you, thinking about something unbeknown to you. Argh, seriously, you wanted to turn back time and enjoy that night with a firework show once again.

“We’ve arrived,” he said. “Azul is informed you would come, so please come in.”

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure, Yuu-san. Be sure to come again for a cup of coffee.”

You clenched your teeth and nodded, knocking twice and entering after hearing ‘Come in’.

“Good afternoon, Ashengrotto.”

“Welcome, Yuu-san.”

The fragrance of sea waves was even stronger than the one Jade radiated, conjoining with something salty and sweet at the same time. You made your way to the sofa and placed yourself there after Azul nodded, the sea blue of his eyes making you forget all the words you’ve prepared for a moment.

“I heard you have a request to make, am I being correct?”

“Very much so,” you grinned at him.

“Well then, you seem quite determined. I believe you are already informed that everything comes with a price.”

“Sure do,” you nodded. “My request may seem unusual, but I hope you guarantee to grant anything I desire?”

“How persistent you are, Yuu-san,” Azul chuckled. “But worry not, here in Mostro Lounge I can fulfill every wish you make. For a certain fee, of course.”

“Marvelous,” you clapped your hands and stood up, stretching out your hand for a handshake, causing Azul to look at you, questioning your actions. “Well then, hear my wish.”

“I’m listening.”

“Please fall in love with me.”

Azul’s glasses slipped off the bridge of his nose, his eyes widened in shock, and he glanced at you, feeling his cheeks growing hot.

“W-what— Excuse my sudden startle, Yuu-san. Your request is just… quite an unusual one.”

“You said you guarantee everything.”

“I’m not taking my words back, I really do guarantee you that, but… why would you do that?”

“Let’s see…” You hummed theatrically, drawing an outstretched hand to your chin and imitating a frown. “First, you’re handsome. Totally my type.”

“W-what are you saying?!”

“I solemnly swear that I’m telling the truth and truth only!”

“Y-Yuu-san, wait for a moment, would you…”

“Second, I want to experience love. And since you’re the one fulfilling the wishes here, isn’t it quite obvious I came to you?”

“Yuu-san… I believe you’re mature enough to realize that love isn’t something that can be imitated so easily, right?”

“This is why I’m asking you, Ashengrotto,” you suddenly bent over, meeting his flushed cheeks and giggling.

Ah, this is bad. He was actually cute.

“I know you won’t take it easy. Please date me with all the seriousness you’ve got and fall in love with me genuinely.”

“Yuu-san…”

A heart-shaped icon above his head filled with a small amount of a pink liquid, and you bit your lip.

It was awful. You didn’t want him to fall in love with you, genuinely or not, you wanted to be free and him to be happy, not knowing you at all. Anything but destroying him after you leave.

“I promise to do my best too!” You smiled at him.

But you couldn’t promise to make him happy afterwards.

“Your offer is surely an interesting one,” he averted his gaze, not being able to meet yours, eager and all bubble-like, following his, flustered. “But what can you offer for the fulfilling?”

“Ah, that.”

The system’s databases were sure something else. The information provided by them made your work easier, even if you had to spend all the currency you possessed, now having nothing. You switched roles with Grim, him being the one who became a ‘family breadwinner’ for a time being.

“I’ll tell you my biggest secret no one in this school knows. No one in the entire dimension knows.”

“Huh?” Ashengrotto said. “What a flattering offer. Why should I trust you?”

“If you will fulfill my wish, you’ll be able to manipulate me, destroy me, make the whole world desire your knowledge and power, because I myself possess the knowledge every person would love to acquire.”

“You’re saying insanely nonsensical things, Yuu-san. But alright, prove it to me.”

“Great,” you clapped your hands. “I know there’s a photo of you and your classmates in the Atlantica Memorial Museum.”

Azul jolted at your statement, staring at your stoic expression.

“How did you…”

“Also,” you continued, getting closer to him and smiling slyly. “I know about the scheme you’ve planned to appropriate Ramshackle and all the things you’ve prepared for upcoming exams.”

“Yuu-san,” he frowned at you, standing up. “You’re walking on thin ice.”

“You wanted me to prove my powers, right? I did just so and I’m guaranteeing you’ll receive all of my power once you… fall in love with me.”

You lowered your gaze, and Azul wondered why would it even change so drastically, going from cheeky and sly to filled with sadness he couldn’t describe.

“... Alright,” he sighed, closing his eyes and fixing his glasses. “Let us sign a contract.”

“Oya thank you~” You giggled, grabbing a pen on the table, ready to sign. “I know feelings are hard to acquire, but please fall in love quickly, okay?~”

“We’ll see. Don’t forget you need to tell me everything once it’s over.”

“I won’t! He-he.”

You’re the one who’s going to forget.

“Uhm, Yuu-san…”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you find this position quite, uhm…”

“Hm?”

“No, nothing…”

You giggled with a soft exhale into the crook of Ashengrotto’s neck, thinking about how to escape the predicament you both happened to be trapped in.

You met him after his classes were over, waiting for him to come out from the auditorium, but only had he stepped out, he grabbed your hand and walked you away, accompanied by his classmates noises, hearing something among ‘Woah Azul’s dating someone???’ lines.

And then you realized he never intended to reveal your relationship status, and if the first two weeks went quite okay with you going on fake dates, no one managed to spot you. Or so Azul thought, but you knew Jade also figured out what kind of request you make, glancing over and smiling with an emotion you couldn’t understand.

So today he accidentally led you two into an extremely small staff room of the Mostro Lounge where mops were stored, escaping other workers’ stares. And it wouldn’t be a problem if Azul didn’t hear Floyd approaching you two.

So now you found yourself ‘trapped’ in here, your bodies being tangled, which seemed funny to you, while Azul was going crazy, his cheeks glowing crimson in a dim light radiating from one small lamp in the room.

“Ouch, Yuu-san, be careful.”

“The same goes to you!”

His hands on your back made you bite your lower lip when Azul tried fixing his position, but to no avail. You had no other choice but to be pressed to his chest, head empty of thoughts and common sense.

“Argh, Ashengrotto, you seriously!—”

“Shh!! Floyd’s coming.”

He managed to press a finger to your lips, and you remembered why you found otome games strange in the first place. All those silly situations like this were so stupid and unrealistic when you were recovering after experiencing literal hell in thrillers, but now? Now you were melting under his careful movements and focused eyes fixated on the gap in the door, fishing out Floyd.

You fell silent, averting your gaze, and felt Azul’s slow breath. Your legs went numb, and when you wanted to change your pose just slightly, you felt Azul’s grip on you tightening, and blushed.

“Uhm, Ashen—”

“Yuu— Ugh, can’t you just—”

“Aha~ Did I just hear Koebi-chan?~”

You tensed, clenching Azul’s necktie and panicking just slightly when you heard Floyd’s voice.

“Where are you two?~”

“Ashengrotto, I think we should—”

“Yuu-san, just shut up already!!”

“But I might fall just—”

He turned to you with the brightest color of red on his cheeks, grabbing your chin and drawing your face to his, shutting you up with a kiss.

You could have sworn you saw Jade’s intense stare for a mere second, and then also him talking to Floyd.

“Floyd, here you are. Azul told me we’re needed in the kitchen.”

“Eh? But I don’t wanna~”

“Let’s go.”

“But Ja~ade!”

You two parted with a soft sound of Azul’s nervous breath, and he shifted his gaze immediately after you stared at him blankly.

“A-Ashengrotto…”

“You’re hopeless, Yuu-san…”

“Sorry… O-oh…”

You noticed how pink liquid filled the heart to the half and inhaled sharply, grabbing Azul’s hand when he was going to open the door.

“W-what?”

“Uhm, nothing… sorry again.”

The kiss made you lose your mind for a moment or two. You needed Azul to fall in love with you as soon as possible before you fell for him yourself.

“Ashengrotto.”

“Yes, Yuu-san?”

“Go take a rest. It’s painful to see you working so hard. I haven’t seen you sleeping for two days.”

Azul sighed, fixing his glasses, and continued writing something.

“Of course, you don’t see me sleeping, because I do that in Octavinelle.”

“I highly doubt that…”

You fell silent, sorting out the contracts he made, and stumbled upon a request similar to yours, gasping.

“What’s the matter?”

“Someone asked you to date them,” you frowned. “But you declined.”

“Of course I did.”

“But why? Didn’t you say you fulfill any wish?”

“Yuu-san.”

He stopped writing, sanding up and getting on one knee before you, causing you to blush a little.

“Because right at the moment I’m dating you… no, not just that,” he took your hand in his. “I’m falling in love with you, Yuu-san.”

You bit your lip, lowering your gaze and knitting brows together. It ached so excruciatingly right in your chest, you hated every moment of everything happening just as much you loved it. You…

“I have a question,” you said. “Have you not still fallen in love with me?”

“One more word, and I’ll start hating you instead, but…”

He placed his head on your knees, making you flustered.

“A-Ashengrotto?!”

“Yuu-san, first of all… There’s two things restraining me from loving you with all my heart.”

“Oh, I’m… All ears.”

“First,” he looked at you, pouting with a cute pinkish hue on his cheeks and ears. “Have you ever dated someone before?”

“O-oh?” You found yourself startled. “To be honest, yes, I have. Why?”

“Did you call them by their surname, too?”

“No,” you answered immediately.

“Then why do you call me by my last name?”

There was a reasoning behind that, but you couldn't even clearly judge yourself for your stupid decisions, so you remained silent, receiving his sigh as an answer.

“Fine. The second question possesses more importance anyway. Why don’t you allow yourself to love and be loved?”

You jolted, escaping his serious look, and not daring to give him an answer. You begged for the heart to fill up this instant, but Azul’s stoic gaze remained strict.

“The answer is related to the secret I’m going to reveal when you finally fall in love.”

“And what if I tell you I already did?”

You smiled bitterly at him, interweaving your fingers with his.

“You didn’t,” you laughed. “I know you didn’t. And you know it too.”

“Is it related to that knowledge of yours?”

“Correct,” you nodded. “I know how you feel.”

“It might be funny hearing from me, but Yuu-san. You can never know what one feels, even if in reality you had the magic helping you reveal people’s feelings all this time, or anything else — you can’t. Otherwise you wouldn’t say I don’t love you yet.”

You fell silent again. But the system couldn’t lie, the liquid of the heart was still on its half, so was he lying to you at this point? He wasn’t. You knew that too.

Will you believe the system or him, Azul Ashengrotto, his cold hands holding yours, cold too?

It was insane. It was an absolutely absurd, stupid mess you hated with all your heart. The support and consideration of your own feelings Azul demonstrated to you made you go crazy with a warmth blossoming in your chest.

“Azul…”

“Huh.”

He raised his head, meeting your surprised expression, being quite astonished himself, and smiled at you, clenching a piece of shirt in his fist.

“You really… What a controversial figure you are, Yuu.”

“Hey, I… Wait. No, no, Azul, wait!!”

“What’s with you?”

Bright light flowing around you made you burst into tears at once, throwing yourself into his embrace and crying hopelessly, him not realizing what was happening.

“I,” you sucked in the air, cupping his cheeks and smiling at him. “I came from another dimension and I’ve got two more people’s stories to finish. Y-you, you were my fourth story in this mess, and… Argh, no, please, give me one more minute, I’m begging!!”

“Yuu?!”

You felt how the light was tying up your limbs, and despite your miserable attempts at escaping, it ached. It was not your body aching, but your very heart.

“Please forget about me. Don’t carry my secret, the next time we meet pretend you never felt anything for me. Forget me and.. Thank you, Azul.”

“Yuu!” He cried out, grabbing your hand for a brief moment before you almost dissolved in the air. “Thank you. Thank you for showing me love and letting me fall for you…”

Opening your eyes in the room in Ramshackle you shared with Grim, you’ve decided that you would rather suffer yourself than letting others experience that pain with you.

Lilia Vanrouge and Idia Shroud are going to be different, you thought, seeing 100% difficulty level under Lilia’s icon in the system, trying to ignore the ‘COMPLETED’ line under Azul’s image, but sweet and salty scent of sea waves made you chuckle nervously and swallow your despair all at once.

— tag-list : @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @red-viewe @68thsposts

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #jade x reader #leona x reader #kalim x reader #azul x reader #lilia x reader #idia x reader

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pandorasfavorite · 3 months

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Can you do a smut based on when Dom said he wanted two mamis but instead of rhea you have her as the r and after that the r makes her and Dom stay back and when Damien leaves she says something to Dom about how she’s his and not anyone else and then Dom starts saying sorry and the r decides that he needs a punishment and Dom is like no I’m really sorry mami I’m really sorry and the r doesn’t listen to him and when they get home Dom gets denied cumming and the r gets to and they go to bed without Dom cumming and Dom gets really upset and starts acting like a brat then the r says okay but she gets rough and overstimulating him

Two Mami’s

Ok I think I understand.

Secretly you loved media day, all you had to do today was sit and watch yourself win the royal rumble. First in and last out, something the rest of the group really admired. Though when you started dating Dominik, media days got both easier and harder at times. It was easier to flirt with him and act like a cute couple because now it was real. Dominik on the other hand struggles with the newfound romantic freedom in front of the camera. One could say he’s still getting used to your perks and jealous tendencies.

The match is showing Becky Lynch getting jumped by damage control, not that you cared much, you didn’t like her anyways. From beside you Dominik starts speaking, “They’re just acting her, where’s her friends?”. You shrug, “She don’t got no friends”, Dominik turns to look at you, throwing his hand up. “Go help her”, you laugh to yourself at his presumed kindness, “No I don’t like her”. He’s quick to say something back as always, a trait of his that gets him in trouble. “What if she was apart of the Judgment Day?”, he retorts looking at the camera with a smile, not registering the looks both you and Damian are giving him.

You look at him, more relaxed than you feel in the inside, “So what you want her apart of the Judgment Day?”. He’s still watching the match but he doesn’t hesitate to say, “No just throwing names out”. Damian cuts in, “take it easy dawg, you’re gonna get smacked”, he can’t help but laugh at the image. “Just feel bad you know? She gots a kid”, you can feel yourself getting increasingly more irritated, considering Dominik is so keen on defending her. You shrug, “Don’t care”.

The royal rumble footage movies on and none of you have much to say till she comes out. In black sweats with crosses on them and an entrance from the audience that takes everyone surprise. She was good, not better than you by a long shot, but good; that much was obvious. “Dude and she’s doing it all in sweats” Dom says , “and Ugg boots”, you chime in after him. “She’s bad ass”, he says; did he say that in front of you?

Damian slaps Dominik’s arm lightly to get his attention, “Could she be drafted to the Judgement Day?”. Dominik nods with his cute irresistible smile, “she could be drafted to the Judgment Day”. “Two Mami’s”, Dom says with a smirk. You sit up completely, shifting in your seat to make eye contact with him, “Two Mami’s”, you repeat what he said letting it soak in. “Bro too far with that one dawg”, Damian said knowing it wasn’t going to end well for his friend. Dominik instinctively bites his lip, feeling the coils of jealously roll off of your body from beside him.

The video wraps up and for a moment it felt normal, but Dominik truly knew how you felt, he could tell by the forced smiles and the annoyance in your voice. You’re in your shared room with Dominik, stripping off your gear without a word, your back facing towards him. “Mi Amor”, he clears his throat while standing awkwardly at the front of the bed. You pull his shirt over your head, not bothering to turn around and look at him, “mhm?”. He can feel his body getting hot with anticipation for what you will say…what you will do.

“I’m sorry”, what more could he say? You finally turn around; a blank look on your face, “How long have we been together?”, you question him. “6 months”, he responds instantly, looking at you while rubbing his hand down his pant legs. You simply nod, going to sit on your side of the bed, above the covers; your phone occupies your time now. He grimaces to himself, your silence and determination to ignore him told him all he needed to know. The possibility of getting out of a punishment was the lowest it’s ever been. He gets on the bed, getting close to your body; laying his head in your lap while looking up at you. “Mami”.

“Which one?”, you question him, not looking down at him. “What?”, he says weakly. “Am I mami 1 or mami 2?”, you finally slam your phone down on the night stand; your eyes boring into his. You swear he just gulped. “ I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Mami. Please don’t be mad mi amor, please please”, he begged while letting his hands slide up your thighs sensually. Damn Dominik and how well he knew how to make you crumble. You can’t help but smile at him, running your fingers through his hair; “You have to learn your lesson”.

The moment he smiled the quicker it faded away. You nudged Dominik off your lap so you could stand up and take off your clothes, Dominik moved to sit in the middle of the bed, only taking off his shirt knowing you like to do his pants for him. The second you were naked you sat right down onto Dominik’s lap, the print of his dick straining in the tight pants. You look down at the bulge, already anticipating the feeling of the cold zipper against your cunt. You press down on him, the feeling is electric like every touch. You grind down on his lap without a thought, any stimulation feels good. The wet patch on Dominik’s pants only prove that. With every grind of your hips Dominik becomes more restless, the feeling on you pressing down on him and taking what’s yours made him flustered and needy.

You see the way his adams apple bobs and the short breathes of air falling from him mouth. You knew he was close to speaking up and begging for your forgiveness early on. One more slow rock of your hips and Dominik opens his mouth only for it to be covered by your hand, “don’t make it worse”, then your hands expertly pull down his jeans. Left in his boxers; a wet patch of precum forming around his tip, you click your tongue at the sight. His cock was straining from behind the frantic of his boxers and you knew he had been hard for much longer than you thought. “How long have you been like this, hm?”, you say sweetly, your hand just barely hovering over Dominik’s cock.

His eyes are dilated and flicking between your face and hand, “I’m sorry”, he all but whimpers out. You grab him, stroking his cock through the fabric, “How long?”, you lean closer to him. He shakes his head refusing to answer, but also distracted by your hand. You stop all movements, sliding off his lap to lay beside him, “fine, you don’t get to cum”, you say with absolute certainty. You can hear the fast exhale and the way his body shudders. You have laid down, letting your own hands trail down your body, your fingers teasing your own clit. “Don’t do this baby, please, please, let me make it up to you”, Dominik pleads with you; the urge to take care of you more important.

You toss your head back, acting annoyed and inconvenienced, “Sit back” you say while climbing back onto his lap. You pull out his cock from his boxers, Dominik is already panting and gripping the sheets beside him, and finally you sink down onto him. A synchronized moan falls from both your lips, your body going into autopilot mode, rocking back and forth on his cock. You notice the way his Adams Apple is bobbing and how he swallows each time you roll your hips that specific way. You lean in closer to him, voice sexy and smooth, “I can feel you twitching Dom, I know you’re close”.

He nods rapidly, words weren’t enough to explain how good you made him feel. A few seconds later, as he gets closer to filling you up, you slip off of his cock. You play with your clit on your lap letting yourself feel the bliss and release that Dominik didn’t deserve. His jaw clenched in the uncomfortable feeling, so close but so far and it felt like torture. “I thought-“ you cut him off by planting a sweet kiss on his tip, “Haah- fuck mami”, he moans. And then that was it. You got off the bed, pulling your panties and putting a shirt on. You click off the light and you slide into your spot in the bed leaving Dominik to think.

7 hours later in the early morning. You woke up with a smile, after all you got what you wanted: which was for Dominik to learn his lesson. But it didn’t seem to stick… You rolled over and kissed his bare chest and arm, but Dominik grumbles shrugging you away and turning over. Though he didn’t see it you definitely raised an eyebrow at his grumpy mood. You knew he wouldn’t be thrilled but straight up ignoring you was something he’s never done before. So you did what anyone would do…you grab Dominik by the arm pulling him to lay on his back and look at you.

You look at him with a cute angry face, hands on your hips waiting; “Are you mad about something?”. Dominik rolls his eyes: LIKE actually rolls them. “I don’t know. Maybe you should ask my dick”, his grumbly morning voice cuts through ( a weakness of yours). Instead of being mad like you intended to be, you thought enough was enough. You shrug and smile, moving under the covers back down to his cock. Without hesitation your lips attach to his cock, your tongue working up and down the length, your lips pressing to his tip firmly.

Dominik’s hand finds solace in your hair, his body quickly catching up for what he’s missed. “Fuck your so good at this Mami”, his hips jolt up; shoving his cock further down your throat. “Your throat was -mhm- made for this mi amor”, he grits out feeling himself shudder in pleasure. Like a snap his body sinks and his fingers pull your hair instinctively, his warm cum filling your mouth. You swallow but you’re not done, Dominik still had an attitude anyways. Your soft hand wraps around his soft and spent cock, pumping him up and down, your spit still coating him.

You can hear the hiss of overstimulation and the way he’s stuttering to find words to have you stop the overly good sensation. “Oh God that’s-“, you spit adding more moisture, “Mami, Mami, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I won’t do it again”, he writhes. You squeeze just a bit to see the way his face screws up in pleasure but pain, it almost seems like he’s not sure if he wants to stop. “Mami I’ll be good, I’ll never do it again, your the only one”, he pants; eyes wide and watering while looking down at you. Your face splits into a victorious grin to say the least.

#dominik mysterio #dominik mysterio x reader smut #dominik mysterio smut #dominik mysterio x reader #dominik mysterio fanfiction #dominik mysterio x you #dominik mysterio fluff #dominik my bbg #wwe #dom dom

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lilisouless · 1 month

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Grishaverse love stories in a Bridgerton like Au

Most images are from Pinterest, if the original person where I got them wants me to take them down I will

Kanej

-They are lady Whistledown, meaning Inej gets the secrets and Kaz publishes them , probably in order to distract the town from radical groups

-Kaz gets a deal with noble man Per Haskell , he must help Inej marry a nobleman. Part of the share would go to Per Haskell and Inej wants the rest to travel and find her family that she lost after being kidnapped.

-Kaz tries to set her up with Lord Wylan Van eck , ignoring his own feelings due to lack of noble titles and the money she needs, while Inej believes this is simply because he prefers the monetary compensation than her and she needs the money anyway

Zoyalai

-Very similar to the books,Nikolai is the heir to the Ravka crown after the death of his brother Vasily. After losing her family in a mysterious fire, Lady Zoya has lost more of her property and she is no longer a candidate to be courted. The favors lean towards princess Ehri from Shu Han or Lady Alina who was just found to be a rich heiress.

-Despite her lack of richness, Lady Zoya has a high status as the King’s confidant , it’s famously beautiful and every man wishes to be the one to conquer her cold heart,Count Kirigin has his eyes in her

-Lady Zoya’s work is to advice the king about the his best option, Lady Alina seems the safest since Princess Ehri may have inner plans ,Zoya also must help him hide his status as a born bastard. This gets complications, in an attempt to hide King Nikolai’s visit to his real father, Zoya has to twist it and makes it believe she has an affair with the king, that the letters that she burned were love letters from each other (actually The queen and Magnus Opjer’s letters)

-Zoya needs a plan, Nikolai must still marry one of the candidates so she fakes an affair that will end up with the future king dumping her for one of the girls. If she is lucky,Count Kirigin won’t be too put off by this but she is not against the idea of becoming a spinster. Complications arise when in one of their affair fake outs, their flirting scales too much and becomes a real thing.

Malina

-As said above, Alina Starkov was a worker on an orphanage, she was losing hope in her childhood friend confessing to her. One day he is enlisted in the army ,Alina decides to confess to him instead but just as she is going to his place to say her goodbyes she is forcefully taken. She finds out she is a lost heiress and it’s taken to the palace to be a candidate for the king’s hand

-At the beginning she acts uneducated to not get chosen, but one day she gets the news that Mal is nowhere to be found,presumed dead,body not found.Alina spends months in mourning, acting normal in public,making friends with the company lady Genya but crying the whole night. She eventually tries to distract herself by doing something with her fortune and spends some on her old orphanage and it’s both admired and frowned upon for “acting like a normal not noble ,woman” . She becomes a dismissive public figure,some want her to marry the king,some fear her to be a radical

-One day she is having a secret walk in the stables and find someone: her friend Mal,a deserter now. Alina needs to keep hiding Mal,who poses as a servant and visits her at night with the excuse of guarding her door,they both need to find a way to elope

#netflix shadow and bone #six of crows #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #crooked kingdom #nikolai duology #the grisha trilogy #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #alina starkov #malyen oretsev #kanej #zoyalai #malina

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spiritstein · 29 days

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spirit albarn has histrionic personality disorder, change my mind

i often see people ask what the hell is wrong with spirit, which is a great question. that guy's got issues. here's my take on explaining some of them!

notes: i have HPD myself so some of the evidence/examples i'll give will have personal anecdotes (although i've avoided projecting to the best of my ability for this post.) this is based mostly off the anime, as i have not finished the manga.

full post under the cut as it's ended up both very long and image heavy

one of the major traits of HPD is dramatic and exaggerated behavior/expression of emotion, which spirit displays nearly every time he's on screen. (typically in regards to either maka or his past and potential future romantic pursuits, we'll get to that later.)

this is typically played for comedy, but i don't think that discounts it as evidence at all-- kid's OCD is often used for jokes but that doesn't mean he doesn't have it.

these outbursts often involve very sudden shifts in his demeanor, and almost feel like an internal switch is being flipped on or off. this can make how he acts seem shallow at times, which is also characteristic of HPD. (emphasis on seem-- i do believe he's expressing his true emotions to the extent he feels them. the exaggerated self-expression of individuals with HPD is often tied to feeling those emotions far more intensely than the average person, at least for me.)

note how quickly he returns to a "resting" or "default" expression in the second gif here. he's kind of got a resting bitch face, honestly.

another defining trait of HPD is excessive flirtatious and sexual behavior, regardless of the person's attraction to whoever they're making advances on. i'll be using manga screenshots here since dialogue is important, but this is the symptom spirit shows most obviously by a long shot.

(not pictured: many, many more examples of this...)

he tends to flirt or otherwise get involved with women regardless of if the situation calls for it, and often to the detriment of his relationship with others.

the most blatant example of this detriment is his divorce with maka's mother and maka's subsequent dislike of him. no images provided since i presume you're familiar with that if you've gotten this far.

notably, he appears to feel guilty about this trait, yet does not or cannot curb it. one could easily read this as spirit needing the attention and approval from these women. excessive desire for these things (along with a more general need to feel liked or loved) is a major driving force behind other HPD-influenced behaviors and is a symptom in and of itself. while there is no concrete evidence behind this explanation for his provocative behavior, there is one person we know he desperately seeks approval from-- maka.

while nearly any parent would want for their child to love them, spirit wants for maka to merely pay any attention to him to a degree far beyond average.

in all of these examples, he's upset by her not even acknowledging him (or the thought of it) as opposed to hating him. the thought of her loving or admiring him appears to be a far-off fantasy to spirit, to the point of barely being able to handle it when she interacts with him positively:

...to the point of vomiting after this, which i won't show because that's gross.

maka is by far the person spirit's most shown to value the attention and approval of, but he still likely seeks it from others in more subtle ways. inversely, he reacts very strongly to both perceived and actual rejection, which is another HPD symptom. he assumes the worst when lord death calls for a meeting of all the death scythes, and is shocked when he finds out he assumed wrong.

people with HPD also tend to be gullible and easily influenced, which is most obvious in spirit's interactions with stein. he allegedly didn't catch on to the fact that stein was experimenting on him until his ex-wife pointed it out, as well many examples of stein just sort of fucking with him over the course of the series.

this could also just be that spirit's a dumbass, so take this part with a grain of salt.

that's everything that i can directly tie to HPD symptoms, but i'd also like to note that alcoholism is common in histrionics and they're at higher risk of divorce. as well as these manga screenshots of spirit being Just Like Me Fr as someone with HPD that i couldn't find anywhere else to put.

i hope this wasn't too clunky of a read and possibly gave the 5 spirit fans something to consider in their characterization of him! thank you for your time ^_^

#soul eater #spirit albarn #death scythe #how the hell else do i tag this??#se

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zehiiro · 7 months

Text

I over analysed the Carol/Daryl promo vids

I'm back again with another over-analysis that no one asked for, but I'm really excited about this one, and I think you guys will love it, too.

Grab yourself a cup of tea because this might be a long one.

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These are the two vids I'll be breaking down and discussing:

Daryl's version on the right came out in August, but I didn't think much of his until I saw Carol's version on the left that came out this week. The puzzle pieces started to come together and a trend emerged.

Firstly, for context, below are the paintings at the start of each of their promo vids respectively:

Both these Paintings are by Gustave Dore. Carol's painting (left) is called The Angel Appearing to Balaam, and Daryl's (right) is called After the Shipwreck.

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Let's start with Daryl's After the Shipwreck.

This painting was made as an illustration of a poem called The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, published in 1875, specifically a scene set at the end of the poem where the Mariner loses his entire crew and is stranded and forced to navigate the seas alone for seven days and nights.

Parallel with Daryl, being taken away from his family/home, getting lost at sea, and being forced to navigate through France on his own, trying to find a way home.

The painting is of the moment the masts of the Mariner's ship disappear underwater, which can be seen in the water to the left.

Parallel with Daryl having to watch that boat that would take him home leave without him.

A pilot and his son see the Mariner in his lifeboat, but they assume he's dead. When the Mariner gets up and grabs the oars, the men think he must be a devil, because they don't believe any man could have survived that.

Parallel with Carol thinking Daryl is dead when she runs into a walker that looks just like him during a scene in 02x01 (according to a leaked script), and later finds out that he's alive and not being able to believe her eyes.

A dark figure is seen at the helm of the lifeboat, presumed to be the Holy Hermit, symbolising the misery awaiting the Mariner on shore.

Parallel with the struggles Daryl experiences in France and his desperation to return home.

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Now, for Carol's The Angel Appearing to Balaam.

This painting is an illustration of a story told in the Bible (Book of Numbers, ch: 22-24), which, to summarise, is about a man named Balaam, who, against God's wishes, goes on a mission given to him by the King of Moab, so God sends him an Angel, who meets him on his route and sets him back on the right path that God wanted him on all along. After his encounter with the Angel, Balaam remains faithful to God, ignoring the constant pressures from the King.

There are so many parallels here, and some can have multiple meanings, but I'll point out the ones that seem most evident to me: who the people in this story represent.

God: I think it represents God/Fate/Destiny/[insert whichever divine power you can think of], and God's plan here represents the story that Daryl & Caryl were meant to be on if Daryl wasn't misled, and they hadn't been separated.

King of Moab: This person to me is Maggie; she didn't intend to separate Daryl/Caryl, but she was the one who ultimately sent Daryl on that mission, and Carol couldn't follow, therefore separating them.

Balaam: This one is clearly Daryl; he accepts the mission from Maggie, leaving Carol behind, thinking he'd be back in no time, which, unbeknownst to him, would end up being a mistake he'd regret greatly.

The Angel: It's clear as day in the actual promo video that Carol is the angel. As the image of the angel fades, Carol appears in its place. She will be the one to go out, find Daryl on his lost path, save him, and help him return to where he was always meant to be, with her, with his Home.

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That was a long one, but I really enjoyed writing it; thank you so much for reading it, and I hope you guys liked it. My high school art history teacher would be so proud 😅

I'd love to know what you guys think and if you'd be interested in me doing a breakdown of the similar videos released for other characters like Laurent, Codron, and Fallou.

[Codron promo vid analysis]

#daryl dixon #carol peletier #caryl #twd spoilers #the walking dead #the book of carol #CarylArchives

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oldshrewsburyian · 9 months

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what classic romances do you think measure up to harriet and peter in gaudy night? i’m really craving more satisfying classic romance

Well, kind inquirer, I have a confession. I had read the Wimsey novels multiple times by the age of 16. Over the past 2+ decades, Peter and Harriet have taught me a lot of things, even if I have learned them more slowly and painfully than I would like (Lord, teach us to take our hearts and look them in the face...); even if I feel as though I have not salvaged as much as I could from life's various shipwrecks. The point is: no one measures up, not for me. My dear, if you have let me come as far as your work and your life... That said, I can offer some suggestions, presuming that you mean by "classic romance" romance that happens outside the genre parameters of romance novels. I'll start with the most classic and work my way forwards. [Under the cut for length!]

Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë (for obvious reasons, I imagine. Perhaps the thing I love most in romance is two intense weirdos deciding to love each other intensely and weirdly.)

Much Ado About Nothing, Shakespeare (I know I said I'd work my way forward, but then I said 'intense weirdos' and remembered my beloved Benedick and Beatrice. Beatrice, an unmarried woman in her uncle's household, interrupts men's political conversation to demand to know whether he's alive because she can't stand not knowing for a minute longer... and that's her opening line! and then they roast each other for 2 hours! I love them so much!)

Persuasion, Jane Austen (Anne is, I would argue, quietly intense, while Frederick is obviously so; he's also weird enough for both of them (affectionate.) I adore them, I support them, I wish them many decades of shocking society with how they look at each other across rooms. And dinner tables. And pianos. And dancing squares.)

Artists in Crime/Death in a White Tie, Ngaio Marsh (this is the Alleyn/Troy duology the way that Strong Poison/Have His Carcase/Gaudy Night is the Peter/Harriet trilogy. I adore Troy, an anxious and compassionate artist with gnc tendencies, and Alleyn fascinates me. Intense weirdos again. Alleyn successfully pretends to be normal most of the time, with everyone except about 3 people. Occasionally he decides to stop, or just does because he's very tired and fed up, and then everyone in the room gets very freaked out very quickly. I love him.)

The Case of William Smith, Patricia Wentworth (bonus detective round! Wentworth is not in the Sayers-Marsh class, and this novel has some tropes I don't like, but I love the gentleness of the central romance so much that I still reread it.)

Possession, A.S. Byatt (Victorian poets, the scholars who study them, the life of the mind and the life of the heart. This is absolutely a novel with Gaudy Night in its lineage.)

The French Lieutenant's Woman, John Fowles (I hesitated before adding this to the list, but it's a novel of ideas that is also about love and sex and identity and Englishness with a very vivid setting, so it might fit the bill?)

The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje ('I believe this. When we meet those we fall in love with, there is an aspect of our spirit that is historian, a bit of a pedant, who imagines or remembers a meeting when the other had passed by innocently...')

Charlotte Gray, Sebastian Faulks (Birdsong is the greater novel, but this one might be the one I prefer. I love Charlotte and her quest to find herself that is also a journey toward love! and vocation! and the images for the lovers in this book are indelible)

Bonus round of books I looked at on my shelf and decided were about so many things that the romance might not be central enough: The Children's Book, Love in the Time of Cholera, The Remains of the Day, The Portrait of a Lady, War and Peace, Brideshead Revisited.

Bonus bonus round, not a book: Random Harvest. Yes it is a book, but in the novel, the romance which truly is emotionally anchoring (I would argue) is much more peripheral than it is in the film, which was, like the Wimsey novels, formative for me. Also, look at them:

I have not been normal about the way he looks at her for *checks notes* 25 years. And I hope you find some things to enjoy here!

#long post #book recommendations #romance #two fiddlers both musicians #charlotte brontë #jane austen #sebastian faulks #ngaio marsh #a.s. byatt #john fowles #michael ondaatje #patricia wentworth #random harvest

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nonexistent-introvert · 1 year

Text

Attachments ( Busy pt 2)

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: angst with comfort, Javier Peña himself, anyth you would expect from narcos, ONE shitty attempt at Spanish im sorry

A/N: wow, i did not realise how long writing takes me these days. Wrote this instead of studying for my exam in two days because procrastination is the time when ideas hit.

this can be read as a standalone (i think?) but would be better with context from pt 1

Busy pt 1

Javier sat in Calderón’s car. The air was thick with tension. Javier wasn’t an idiot, he just preferred to ignore it. He knew Calderón was accommodating to him, which he appreciated however the trust that should be between them was almost non-existent. Not after Javier confiscated everyone’s devices but Javier wasn’t willing to take any chances today. Even if it came at the price of trust.

The sound of paper crinkling annoyed him. He turned in his seat, curious to find the source of the sound. He shot a judgemental look at Feistl who was holding onto a wrinkled piece of paper. Fesitl merely unfolded the paper for Javier to see, revealing a kid’s drawing. A drawing with what Javier presumed was Feistl holding his son’s hand. “My kid gave it to me right before I went on this buy-bust. Some Jamaican took a rip at me, missed by that much, so..” He trailed off, gesturing with his hand just how close the bullet came to hitting him. He peered out of the window, “I rub it for luck ever since.” Feistl admitted, meeting Javier's eyes. Javier looked down at the paper in his hands, his heart tightening with additional burden and he turned away. His thoughts went back to the woman he left back home if he could call his shitty apartment a home anyways. He braced his arm against the window, his index finger resting against his mustache. He remembered the necklace that you had bought him, it had a beautiful ring on the necklace but he never wore it. It was still safely kept in its original box, he had brought it with him here in his luggage even if he refused to put it on. You never said anything about him not wearing the necklace although he did notice the subtle disappointment on your face when your eyes fall onto his bare neck. The necklace felt too heavy on his hands, he didn’t want to lose it. He didn’t want to stain the shiny metal with blood stains. The image of an unconscious him flashed into his mind, he was afraid that finding the necklace you had bought for him on his corpse would be too much to bear. If he was a more emotionally vulnerable man maybe he would turn back and ask Feistl how he bared to bring such a sentimental item along with him whenever he went. Was he not afraid of losing it or ruining it? Instead, Javier basked in the silence in the car. Reminding himself to focus on the mission instead. He had to make it back to you in one piece after all.

Javier Peña was not one to have attachments. Truth be told, he was afraid of them. Afraid that these attachments would become his weaknesses, afraid that these weaknesses would be exploited by the narcos. It was the whole reason why he slept around and stuck to one-night stands than a committed relationship. Having someone who he knew he was willing to jeopardise the entire mission for, it felt like a burden.

You weren’t a burden. He knew that. He thinks of himself as more of a burden than you. You have to carry the weight of his crimes, learn to protect yourself and yet you chose him, someone who couldn’t even afford a lazy weekend with you.

He pushed these thoughts away as he exited the vehicle. Forcing himself to be the cold DEA agent Peña, he wore it so often that it felt like his second skin.

The sound of Javier’s voice scolded you as you walked the streets of Bogotá. If he was here, he would be nagging at you, reminding you of the dangers that lingered in the darkness. You blasted the music louder into your ears, hoping to drown his voice out. Javier isn’t here, as much as you wanted him to be. You were losing your mind staying in the apartment. The news wasn’t filled with gruesome reports about terrorism, the Cali cartel didn’t work that way. However, the lack of information was killing you all the same, and every call scared you. You were terrified of receiving news of Javier all the same.

Connie welcomed you to come over any time. Just above the apartment that you shared with Javier. While you appreciate the sentiment, you were never one to share your emotional burdens. “Like poles are supposed to repel, not attract.” Steve had commented once about your relationship with Javier. A comment that earned him a smack from Connie. You supposed he was right, Javier and you were alike in many ways. It was the reason why the both of you had hit it off so well.

You shook the thoughts about Javier away, you were supposed to clear your mind.

Javier shouted for you, his steps quickening as he searched the apartment for you. “Fuck!” He ran his hands through his hair. It was almost midnight, where the fuck could you have been? His muscles were sore, practically begging him to rest but his panic overridden any kind of exhaustion he was feeling then. He stared at the beer bottles on the table, were you drunk? His worry only grew, he wouldn’t hesitate to use all of the DEA's resources to track you down now. “Por favor (please)” he muttered, praying for your safety. That his job hasn’t cost you your safety.

His prayers were answered when the sound of the door opening caught his attention. Javier immediately turned off his phone, the phone that he was about to use to call Steve.

“Where have you been?” You swore you were going crazy. His voice was haunting you the moment you stepped into your apartment. “Cariño what happened?” Javier’s voice got louder as he was overwhelmed with emotions. His eyes were on the tear in your pants which revealed a bleeding scrape on your knee. Your eyes met his and you let out a shaky breath. Javier’s back, he came home.

“I’m all good. No injuries, no bruises.” He assured.

Unable to hold back your overwhelming emotions, you pressed yourself against him and kissed him. Javier was quick to reciprocate the kiss, his hands gripping onto your waist.

Your fingers were tangled in the curls of his hair, his eyes searched for yours as the both of you tried to catch your breaths. “Did something happen?” there was a hint of apprehension in his voice, Javier wouldn’t forgive himself if something did happen to you. You shook your head, “I’m losing my mind.” You vaguely replied. His thumb traced your arms, frowning even more when he traced against a rough patch of skin. Javier gently turned your arm, revealing a burn scar. “I burnt myself when cooking the other day.” you quickly explained, seeing the flames rising in his eyes. Javier shook his head, “Please tell me the truth.” His eyes fell on your bloodied knee. I am Javier, I swear.” His eyes studied you, “I’ve just been so distracted and got so clumsy. I was just so worried.” Javier’s heart shattered at the admission, swallowing down the lump in his throat. “I'm sorry cariño, I’m so sorry.” Javier led you to the couch. He ran off into the kitchen before returning with a first aid kit.

“Look how the tables have turned.” You said as Javier kneeled in front of you and prepared to clean the injury on your knee. Javier didn’t say anything, he knew exactly how much pain you go through when you clean his wounds for him. The cracking of his heart at every pained groan and moan was almost too much to bear. If he was so miserable cleaning an injury that you had gotten by accident, he could only imagine the torture you go through knowing the reason he got those injuries was because of his job.

“I promised to talk. You have to talk to me too.” He started. Your eyes looked towards the direction of the fridge where the promise he had made to you was still stuck on the front door. “Javi…” Javier didn’t respond, too focused on cleaning the dried blood around the injury. “I’m just so afraid of losing you all the time.” “I always come back home cariño.” Javier sighed. “I’m just afraid of losing you Javi. Both mentally and physically. Sometimes you come back with bandages, wounds and bruises that you try to hide from me. On other days, you come back looking fine but the emotional turmoil has taken its toll on you. On exceptionally bad days you come home with both.” You gripped the cushions of the couch tightly, you knew the words you were admitting to now sounded selfish like you didn’t want to deal with his problems. Javier remained silent, he forced himself to come back home, even if he brought back all the worst parts of himself. He wanted to come home to you so that he didn’t have to make you worry. “Javi, I know that it comes with being a DEA agent. I have come to terms with it when I told you I wanted to pursue this relationship with you. Understanding you doesn’t make me worry any lesser and I will never forgive myself if you gave up on this because of me.” Javier finished up with the scrape on your knee. His brown eyes looking at yours, guilt pooling in his gut. Javier gently lifted your hand and pressed a kiss onto your knuckles before letting his forehead rest against it. A silent apology, even if he can’t promise that he would never let you worry again.

“I just wished we are a couple even outside of this house.” There is was, the conclusion that took you so long to figure out. Suddenly, you were glad that you had taken the walk to clear your head. “Cariño, I don’t understand.” He muttered. You inhaled, taking a deep breath to find the right words. “I’ve been out with you more often when we weren’t dating. We talked more when we weren’t dating. You kept in contact with me even if you were across the state.” You listed, frowning slightly. “We seemed more like a couple when we weren’t officially dating.” Javier’s breath stilled, finally understanding your point. Once he started dating you, he drifted. Too afraid that he would put you in danger, afraid that when the narcos saw him getting close to you they would use you against him. He doubted anyone else in the embassy even knew he has a girlfriend other than Steve. “Steve calls home whenever he gets the chance to, the longest he went MIA was 5 days and Connie almost tore his head off for that.” You chuckled weakly as you recalled Connie telling you about it. “Even Pablo kept in contact with his wife when he was on the run.” Javier's fists clenched, it wasn’t nice being compared to Pablo but you were right, even he had sought out ways to keep in contact with his family. If he had almost lost all cool when he couldn’t find you in the apartment just an hour ago, he could only imagine what you felt when he doesn’t return home for weeks without any form of contact.

“You go weeks on end without contacting me and you appear at the door like an abandoned puppy. I love you Javi, I really do but I’m losing my mind wondering if you’re even dead or alive. I search for you desperately on news channels in case something happened, every call scares the shit out of me because I’m terrified of receiving bad news about you.” “I’ll call. I’ll be with you” Javier simply promised, no arguments no nothing. He was so afraid of burying you with his sins, so afraid of losing you that he didn’t even realise that you were slowly slipping from his fingers. He blinked a few times, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall. You looked at him, unsure of how to feel about his abrupt agreement. “I’m sorry cariño. I really am. I was just afraid that they would see me with you and I’ll…” Javier trailed off, shaking the horrifying thoughts from his mind. He had enough nightmares about things he saw with his two eyes, he didn’t need to add to the list.

Javier pulled you into his lap, leaning his head against your shoulder while you circled your arms around his neck. Javier was never one for words, his touch was enough to convey his guilt and apologies that he could never express with words.

“Ooh Peña, sporting a new look?” Steve whistled upon seeing Javier. Javier grinned, picking up the ring on the necklace that you had bought him. “Needed something bright in my life,” Javier commented on how the ring sparkled lightly under the lights. “She really is bright. Getting you to come around.” Steve stated, knowing exactly where the necklace came from. He always hated Javier for being a stubborn mule.

Javier thought back on the grin on your face, the euphoria at seeing the necklace on his neck despite you trying your best to hide it. He smiled, “She really is.” he commented, tracing the ring with his thumb.

The necklace represented the promise he made to you, the promise to be with you for better or for worse.

When the time is right, he will make that promise official legally as well.

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starfruiity · 3 months

Text

Venus & Sexuality

⚐ note ⚐

I do not read charts professionally.

correlation ≠ causation

18+ topics mentioned

�� note ⚐

It's been a year since I started researching Venus and desire. Since then, I have been challenged and forced to bring down all that I thought I knew.

As many modern astrologers and teachings, connected the idea and action of sex/sexuality to Mars, I thought the same.

Yet, after reading old texts, many birth charts as case studies, and thinking hard and a bit too long. I saw myself aligning sexuality with Venus.

the connection

I feel it makes better sense to connect sex with Venus sex rather than Mars because many people use the act of sex to bond with those they love or just to receive pleasure, all "Venusian" things.

And while it may be true that many people view sex as a way to assert (Mars) something or just see it as a physical activity (Mars).

I feel, in itself, sex is a Venusian act; it brings two (or more if you're into that lol) people together, even if it's for a moment. An agreement for pleasure has been made, and that's what Venus is about, creating a balance that results in peace.

Mars, however, is piercing energy, like anger. It's conflict and destruction, but not slow destruction like Saturn, it's fast and abrupt.

This destruction and violent temper is not the best thing to have when you want to connect with people.

Traditional significations of Mars often point to him being a loner (again, not like Saturn) because of how abrupt and challenging he can be.

Mars shows eagerness to challenge, and while that shows courage and passion, it also makes it difficult for him to listen to others; often he rushes into things without much consideration of those around him.

Mars with Cupid -- Giovanni Francesco Barbieri a.k.a. Guercio (1591-1666)

From Google Arts & Culture: “Mars with Cupid” was one of a pair of images painted for a military general, for who an image of Mars, the god of war, would undoubtedly have had some significance. The commission also included a painting of “Venus and Cupid, ” now lost. The pairing of an image of the goddess of love with an image of Mars, who gazes out of the frame (presumably at Venus in the other canvas), suggest that love can conquer even the strongest of warriors.”

In itself, the energy of Mars is all about breaking things apart, shaking things up, and ruffling some feathers.

Mars seems not to ruffle feathers when he is "distracted" by Venus and is instead alongside her. And it seems Mars is more tolerated while in this state: "Make love, not war."

There are levels to Mars of course. Without war, you can't have peace. Without destruction, you can't create, and through creation, beauty can be made. But, that's the effect, not the beginning. So, if anything, Mars makes way for Venus.

sensuality & creation

Each planet "creates" in some way; Mars creates discord, brawls, and challenges; Venus creates compromises and peace. She also deals with sensuality: the senses.

Though Mars had passion, he's a bit too abrasive and quick to really just stop and smell the roses, he always has to be in movement.

Venus on the other hand can stop and smell the roses. In fact, she would touch the roses and taste the rose petals while relaxing on a soft blanket listening to the sounds that surround her.

It's all about pleasing the body--which is animalistic. Dare I say, lewd. Why? How dare you try to enjoy your body instead of using it as a tool?

To explore the senses is to allow yourself to be open to experiencing the moment. When you allow yourself to be idle and vulnerable you can form relationships because you let yourself feel the other person and can be present in the moment with them.

Venus of Urbino -- Titan (?-1576)

And though sensuality and sex can happen at the same time, it's important to remember they are not the same thing. Yes, being sensual indeed helps your sex life, but you don't have to do it.

But here's the problem with that, it's unfulfilling. Venus is all about fulfillment, being pleased and gratified. But don't get confused; Venus is all about reception: to love and to be loved.

You don't need to have sex to be sensual or to explore your senses. It's not something that's restricted to gender or conventional attractiveness.

Anybody can be sensual, and I think artists of all kinds (from bakers to musicians) get that, knowingly or unknowingly, and so, are familiar with the process.

To get. in touch with your senses is to create and be open. And creatives tend to have increased perception. Creatives are so sensitive, so very sensitive. I feel this is where the personal daimon comes in and why they encounter it more often than others.

Those little sparks of creativity amaze even the artists because they seem to come out of nowhere. But it doesn't. And I don't want to get too deep because this is a whole other discussion, and I'm no expert.

Basically, the essence of the artist takes over, and they sort of transcend. It's not quite like a high, but it is a state of being. And while in this state, the artist can just be and let things happen naturally. And that's the best way to create art.

wrapping it up

Even after everything, the interpretation of the topic is still subjective. It really just comes down to this, some people would rather fuck than make love, and others would rather make love than fuck.

So I understand why modern astrologers connect sex/sexuality to Mars. Mars is energy; Mars is raw and passionate. But Mars is about seizing the moment, conquering the moment, and even at times being the moment.

Relaxation and the willingness to bond with people are not present with Mars. He always doing something, piercing something, causing conflict, he's in a constant state of doing.

Venus can just be, that's where she excels. And I feel, truly, that's what sex is about, just being. Not worrying about doing or asserting, just vibing.

#starfruit musings #astrology #astro notes #Mars #Venus #astro blog #astro observations #astrology community #astronotes #astro tumblr

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lunaflowers · 8 months

Text

jealousy (dom!junmyeon)

pairing: kim junmyeon x reader genre: smut, pwp word count: 2.1k synopsis: you make junmyeon jealous so he punishes you in his favourite way warnings: sadist dom!junmyeon, masochist sub!reader, established relationship, jealousy, whipping, degradation, name calling, piv, pussy slapping

author's note: this is unedited, i'm sorry!

☆*: .｡. o💘o .｡.:*☆

“This is what you fucking wanted, isn’t it?” Junmyeon said, anger in every syllable. “You wanted to make me jealous so I would act like this?” He shoved you against the wall, pinning you there.

“No, I swear,” you replied, your voice a strained whimper.

“Liar,” he spat at you. “You’ve been trying to drive me crazy all night.”

“It’s not true.” You really hadn’t been trying to make him jealous. The two of you had been together at an SM Entertainment company party, celebrating the launch of some new business venture along with his fellow members as well as many others. Everyone seemed to be having a great time. The drinks were flowing and Baekhyun had been in a particularly jovial mood, regaling you with stories of his latest vacation. The two of you were huddled in a corner while he was showing you the pictures on his phone.

And sure, maybe he had been flirting a little. He was Baekhyun, it was what he did. He just was a flirt. It didn’t mean anything. He’d linger a little too long on any vacation photos where he was on the beach, wet and topless, waggling his eyebrows at you jokingly while you giggled and rolled your eyes.

You hadn’t realised that Junmyeon was watching the two of you, seething the entire time. He hadn’t shown it. No, he was far too dignified and professional to lose his shit in public like that, not to mention he had his perfect idol image to maintain. Instead he merely ignored you when you would try to get his attention. But as soon as the two of you got home, it was like a switch had been flipped.

You were against the wall with Junmyeon’s arms on both sides of you. He was staring you down and you felt yourself shrink underneath his hard gaze.

“Junmyeon, baby, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous,” you said soothingly. You tried to reach out and put a comforting hand on his cheek but he grabbed you by the wrist.

“Did I say you were allowed to touch me, you fucking slut?”

The harsh words had you at once feeling chagrined and aroused. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“You’re gonna be,” Junmyeon said, taking a step back. “Take off your panties.”

“I- I’m not wearing any,” you stammered in response. You cast your eyes down on the floor, not even able to look him in the face. “For you, not anyone else. I thought it would be a fun little thing for after the party. I would’ve told you during the party but you would barely talk to me.”

You finally looked up at him and you saw the muscle in his jaw twitch ever so slightly. He snapped his fingers, pointing to the bedroom you shared. “Get in there and bend over the bed. Now.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You ran to your room and did as you were told, bent over the bed with your ass in the air. It was a few minutes before Junmyeon entered the room, presumably because he knew the anticipation would only serve to make you wetter. He got behind you and lifted the skirt of your dress up over your ass, exposing you. He gave you one quick, hard spank and you yelped at the pain.

“Put your hands behind your back.”

You did, and he began to tie them up with what you knew was his tie from the way the soft silk of it felt on your wrists. He then reached down and stuck two fingers deep into your already sopping wet cunt. It made you moan to finally have something inside you.

“Desperate whore,” he said, pulling his fingers out of you and wiping them on your dress. You heard the jingle of his belt and you knew he was taking it off. “Brace yourself.”

Brace myself for what? You thought, seconds before you felt his belt whipping you across the ass. You yelped loudly and he chuckled.

“Junmyeon!” You cried, tears already forming in your eyes.

“Hmm?”

“That- It really hurt,” you said, pathetically.

“That’s the point, love,” he said, but he gave your ass cheek a comforting rub anyway. “Do you want me to stop?” You two had never used a safe word. If you ever wanted to stop, you just told him and he would.

You shook your head. “No… I liked it. You buried your head into the sheets, embarrassed at your confession.

“I know,” Junmyeon said, whipping you again, but lighter this time. “Spread your legs more. I can see by the way your slutty pussy is gushing for this, you little pain slut.”

You whined out, but didn’t protest, spreading your legs as he asked. He whipped you again, and again, and again. Every time he saw those little pink welts criss-crossing your ass, he got more excited. Seeing your pussy drip down your thighs as he marked you up was making his cock twitch in his pants and he couldn’t wait until the moment it was buried inside your cunt.

He whipped you again and you kept on making delicious little pained noises that only served to arouse him further. “Do you want more?”

“Yes, sir,” you whined, “I’ve been such a whore today. I deserve to be punished. Whip me more, please.”

“Good girl. I like when you know your place,” Junmyeon replied. He began whipping you again, focusing more on your thighs now, as your ass didn’t look like it could take much more. “Desperate sluts deserve to be hurt, don’t they?”

“Yes, sir,” you repeated, revelling in the pain and pleasure. You heard Junmyeon throw his belt down onto the hardwood floor behind you. He came up right behind you and put two fingers in your cunt again. It was shameful how easy he was able to enter you. He pumped your pussy a few times, and took his fingers out, leaning forward and showing you his slick soaked fingers.

“Do you think it’s normal to get this wet when a man hurts you? Don’t you think that’s a little fucked up?”

Shame spread throughout your body at what he said, “I’m sorry,” you apologised as his degrading words only made your desire for him stronger.

Junmyeon wiped his soaked fingers on your face and you winced, feeling the coolness of your arousal on your cheek. Your hands were still tied behind your back so you couldn’t wipe it off, not that you would’ve tried without Junmyeon’s permission.

“So,” Junmyeon said, grabbing you by the hair and pulling you up off the bed. You looked him in the eyes and he slapped you across the face. “Did I say you could look at me?”

“No, sir, sorry, sir,” you babbled, your cheek now smarting as well as your ass. You looked down at your feet so you didn’t see Junmyeon’s smirk.

He picked you up and threw you on the bed. You landed with a gentle thump on your belly and you squealed, although it didn’t actually hurt. Junymeon got on the bed and untied your wrists. He then flipped you over onto your back and tied them to the headboard instead. Your freedom had been so fleeting and always under his control.

He looked down at you and you closed your eyes, not that you would’ve minded getting slapped again, but you didn’t want to test him. You heard him chuckle, and he leaned down, sucking a hickey onto your breast. “You’re such a good, obedient slut for me when it’s just us. So why do you have to act like such a whore in public?”

You bit your lip, “I’m sorry, sir,” you repeated.

“Sorry, sir,” he mocked, a girlish imitation of your voice. “That’s all you can say for yourself. You’re so pathetic.”

You were going to apologise again, an automatic reflex at this point, but you stopped yourself. Junmyeon ran his hand down over your body, between your breasts, down your belly button and finally stopping when he got to your cunt, his fingers deftly rubbing your clit.

“Look at me,” he ordered, and you did, opening your eyes to meet his dark ones. He looked at you with amusement, enjoying the way you were falling apart underneath him. Without warning, he pulled his hand back and gave your cunt a smack. You yelped in pain, and he did it again.

“Tell me how much you love it when I hurt you.”

“I love it so much, sir,” you said, as tears filled your eyes when he smacked your pussy again. You were struggling against your restraints but it was no use. He smacked you once more. You cried out and he smiled sadistically.

“You’re so pretty when you cry, you know that?” He meant it. Something about your swollen eyes and lips always made him want to fuck you senseless. He smacked your cunt again and you screamed.

“Please stop… No more,” you said, trying to close your legs.

“Has my baby had enough?” Junmyeon asked, his voice softening considerably. He was always in tune with you and he never wanted to push you beyond your limits.He rubbed you between the legs in a gesture meant to comfort.

You nodded and he kissed you on the lips soothingly.

“Please Junmyeon… I need you…” you whined when he broke the kiss. “Please?”

“Does my baby wanna be fucked now? After she’s been such a bad girl?”

“Yes, please,” you said, stopping yourself from apologising again.

“Fine. You’ve been taking your punishment so well that I think you deserve a little treat.” Junmyeon positioned himself on top of you, getting in between your legs and pressing the tip of his cock to your wet folds, teasing you as you squirmed. “You’ll never fucking do that again, will you? Hmm? I won’t catch you in the corner of some room giggling away with Baekhyun or anyone again?”

“No, I won’t. It won’t happen again, I promise,” you replied. Just fuck me already, you wanted to scream, but you didn’t dare.

“Good girl,” Junmyeon said, as he pushed himself into you. Both of you moaned as he entered your body.

He began moving inside you while kissing you at the same time. You knew he wanted this as much as you did and you felt ecstatic at finally, finally being fucked.

“Does it feel good?” Junmyeon asked, continuing to kiss your face.

“Yes… God, so good,” you said, giving a little gasp of pleasure as he hit all your sweet spots.

“Your pussy always feels amazing,” he said with a groan. He moved deeper inside you, and you arched your back at the intrusion. You want to grab him, to hold on to him, or to something but your restraints wouldn’t allow it so you just released a frustrated moan.

Junmyeon smirked, slowing down and allowing you to gather yourself. “Is something the matter?”

“I just want to touch you, sir. Please…” You shook your wrists, gesturing to where you were tied to the headboard. You wanted desperately for him to remove them.

He looked at your tied wrists, as though he was contemplating whether or not to do it. He seemed to come to a swift decision though.

“No.”

With that, he sped up his pace again, his hands on either side of you as he looked you in the eyes. He liked how helpless and vulnerable you were underneath him. And he especially liked watching you struggle so pitifully, resulting in those pretty pink marks on your wrists.

“I’ve been too fucking nice to you already, you little slut,” he said, breathlessly, “You need to learn you don’t get to have everything you want.”

“But sir,” you began to protest, but they died in your throat once he began using his thumb to play with your clit. In a split second you were close. “Gonna cum,” you managed to squeak out seconds before you did.

You came with a moan all over his cock. He hadn’t said you could, and you usually asked permission but he let it slide considering how far gone he was too. Groaning, he soon came inside of you, like he always did.

The two of you laid in the bed, catching your collective breaths. Junmyeon untied you and you tucked yourself into his warm body. He gave you a kiss on your forehead.

“Learned your lesson?” he asked, teasingly.

“Hmm… I think I might need a reminder eventually,” you quipped back.

“Well, I’ll always be here to give it to you.”

☆*: .｡. o💘o .｡.:*☆

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