#but ... to receive something this precious in my lifetime ... in my youth ...

[bukojuiice]

˗ˏˋ@bukojuiice’s BNHA masterlistˎˊ˗

REQUESTS: [CLOSED]

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➸ Headcanons

♡ ྀ  “midoriya, bakugo and todoroki cramming school works with their S/O”

♡ ྀ  “baby it’s cold outside.” (katsuki bakugo christmas hcs)

♡ ྀ  “going to Universal Studios Japan with them”  

♡ ྀ  “how you spend a virtual valentines date in quarantine w/ them” 

♡ ྀ   what happens when the bakusquad babysits Katsuki’s daughter? 

♡ ྀ     i like you a latte. (Coffee Shop AU! Headcanons)

♡ ྀ what they would be like as disney princes

♡ ྀ their wedding day with you

♡ ྀ the lovey-dovey things they do with you while you're both stuck at home during quarantine

♡ ྀ  the kinds of movies he’d watch with you.

♡ ྀ when he does the lip bite

♡ ྀ  when they read self-insert fanfiction of themselves

♡ ྀ cat ears or maid outfit?

♡ ྀ     how dekusquad + bakusquad comfort you after getting your heartbroken

♡ ྀ   mha boys accompanying you to buy lingerie

➸ Izuku Midoriya

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ  I will hold on to everything we got. A quitter, regretter and forgiver is everything I’m not.

(↳  unprompted and unexpected goodbyes are the worst. how are you going to be able to tell izuku the fact that you were moving away from the city that the two of you have lived in, grew up in, and soon became the place where the two of you fell in love with each other? how could you let this precious cinnamon roll go?)

♡ ྀ  she’s not afraid of scary movies, she likes the way we kiss in the dark.

( ↳  it is your weekly movie night with Izuku and co, but whilst waiting for your other friends, you and your boyfriend had the most wonderful idea of watching a gory horror movie.)

♡ ྀ as the world caves in

( ↳ no one else could ever carry the burden that Izuku holds in his hands. But when a girl from his past helps bring him to a realization, he begins to contemplate on whether or not sacrificing everything that you love to become a hero is worth it all.)

➸ Katsuki Bakugo

Cuddle Buddy! (Social Media AU)

Katsuki’s Convenience (Social Media AU)

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ  thank god for plot twists like you.

( ↳  Katsuki barges in your dorm room after class to see you crying in your bed with your phone in your hand… but why exactly?)

♡ ྀ  the s in studying stands for sexy times (implied smut!)

( ↳  katsuki is helping you study for your finals. but to no avail, none of the articles you were reviewing were processing inside your mind at all. until, katsuki had thought of a great idea to help you study. a spicy one at that.)

♡ ྀ  you fell from the sky into my lap (smut)

(  ↳  You and Katsuki become one as the two of you get in the mood with the music on his Spotify playlist.)

♡ ྀ  my world is changed and it’s cradled by the comfort that is you.

(  ↳  After receiving a quarterly report on the status of your hero internships and as a 3rd year student of UA Academy, your day is ruined as soon as you began to read it’s contents. Your explosive boyfriend does not want to see you like this. But how can he possibly cheer you up?)

♡ ྀ   like the soul of honey 

( ↳ Christmas finally approaches and your daughter, Hikari, can’t wait to spend it with the best parents ever.)

♡ ྀ  you got questions, i got answers tonight, babe. (smut!)

(  ↳ you and the bakusquad drag bakugo to a short vacation after such an intense week of hero work, much to his annoyance. however, his stress and pent up energy was more than you expected, so you knew exactly how to release all his frustrations.)

♡ ྀ  fix you. (studio ghibli au! princess mononoke au!)

(  ↳  Katsuki Bakugo is the righteous yet arrogant village prince of the east. The entire village relies on him for protection and for guidance, further inflating his ego. however, after a cursed boar attacks him and the curse is passed on to him as a poisonous mark on his arm, slowly consuming him until he becomes a demon himself. he is exiled without hesitance from his village and is to go on a journey to look for a cure, a journey he might never come back from. With the help of two of his most trusted allies, he embarks on a journey to look for the gods of the forest in where he meets a girl (just as striking as him) who brings him back down to earth, saves him and make him experience a true life worth living.)

♡ ྀ  25 lives (time traveler au!)

(  ↳  After losing the love of his life in a brutal villain incident, Katsuki Bakugo had lost a part of him. Nothing and no one could ever bring her back. He became the shell of a person he once was; fiery, bright, and the driven #2 Pro-hero in the country. He continues to live life with guilt, all hope still lost until he is gifted a time device that can transport him to parallel universes, dimensions and alternate worlds, where he begins his quest to find his lost love. Crossing a hundred of realities and living twenty-five lifetimes just to bring her back into his arms. )

♡ ྀ to the most explosive boy i’ve ever loved before

(  ↳  six letters. one for every boy you’ve ever loved. The letters for your eyes only, filled with all the words you could never say. until, one day, they start appearing out of nowhere into your life again, and your love life goes from imaginary to out of control.)

♡ ྀ  lovesick girl

(  ↳  your planned birthday surprise for katsuki takes a turn for the worst when you’re suddenly struck by a cold, prompting your dynamite boyfriend to take care of you and shower you with love and affection on his special day.)

♡ ྀ nicotine and faded dreams  (smut!)

(  ↳  Fame. Success. Glory. Bakugo’s had and seen it all, being a part of one of the biggest bands in the world. All he’s ever wanted was (Y/N), who comes back into his life just in time for the last leg of the band’s European tour. Bakugo thought that after making it big he wouldn’t have to face the muse for their most successful song any time soon. But a trip to Venice organized by scheming band mates has him stuck in a car with that very same muse. or Rock bands, a love Bakugo’s been trying to run away from and a cleverly schemed road trip: what could go wrong?)

♡ ྀ the morning afterglow

(  ↳ basking in the hues of wonderment that is the morning sun with your explosive boyfriend by your side was truly a dream. lingering in the bed much longer was an absolute must. these are one of those days.)

➸ Todoroki Shoto

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ  when you kiss me, heaven sighs.

( ↳  you and Shoto arrive in the city of love.  the day seems perfect until things go awry.)

♡ ྀ   a love like the movies

(  ↳    Shoto spends his only day of rest and relaxation by watching iconic tv shows and sitcoms with you.)

♡ ྀ   my youth is yours.

( ↳  shoto todoroki entered college with one thing in mind; be able to graduate and follow in his family’s footsteps. however, college had different plans for him. and meeting the one he would spend the rest of his life with was one of them.)

♡ ྀ merry go round of life (studio ghibli au, howl’s moving castle au)

( ↳ shoto todoroki is a magical prince who yearns for freedom. with the entire country against him, and the freedom he ever so wanted barely in his grasp- he seeks solace in a girl who works in a hat shop. she was his comfort in days full of disaster and war. and ever since then, he has finally found a reason to live.)

♡ ྀ something in the rain 

( ↳  you and shoto were once childhood best friends and sweethearts who had lost touch and communication. 12 years has passed since then, and on a fated summer day in june, there was something in the rain that brought two lost souls back to each other’s arms.)

  ♡ ྀ  are you feline what i’m feline? (smut!)

( ↳ blessed with a quirk that can temporarily transform any human being into any living thing they want through the means of potions and concoctions, you brew up a cat girl potion to surprise shoto for your second year anniversary. however, some accidents and mishaps happen, and you’re welcomed home by a handsome cat boy instead.

♡ ྀ  if i could tell her

( ↳  in where shoto todoroki is hit by a sudden realization that the love of his life was right in front of him all along and all it takes is for her to cross the crossroads for him to finally realize.)

♡ ྀ written in the stars

( ↳ shoto takes you out on a special date. a date that entailed love in all it’s bare simplicity. love in all it’s highs and lows, and love that is worth being written in the stars.)

➸ Eijiro Kirishima

Fics ↝

♡ ྀ  I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover.

(  ↳ It is your 1st year anniversary with Kirishima. With no idea how celebrate it, Kirishima asks for the aid of Bakusquad and they have very interesting ideas and plans to say the least. Will he succeed and plan a perfect surprise for you?)

#juliannewrites #bakugo x reader #mha x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #kirishima x reader #deku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #denki kaminari x reader #kaminari x reader #todoroki shoto x y/n #boku no hero academia x rader #my hero academia x reader

[my-writings-and-musings]

Hey, I hope you are 100% ok with found family theme? Because found family theme in Transformers are my favourite trope. For the request, would you do the headcanons for Ratchet, Drift and Windblade with the reader who is a techno-organic?

Found Family is the golden trope above all tropes and 1000% supported on this blog anon don't worry about it. Time for some fluff.

Windblade

·Though she's somewhat new to exploring the galaxy, she knows the value of close friends, and how they can become your greatest support when times are tough. She forges bonds that are deep with those she trusts, and she intends to keep those for the rest of her life. To a certain extent one might say she has a family that's always growing. Granted she doesn't just let anyone in, but her kind nature means she's always seeking out those who need companionship. For you, this worked out rather beautifully from the outset. Unlike so many others your nature didn't perturb her in the slightest. She was merely curious, but upon discovering you were being ostracized she took you under her wing and never looked back.

·Like any found family, she introduces you to the other members and explains to each one in private what you'd endured. The bots she'd never known a day without, Chromia and Nautica, stepped up immediately to help. This family is built on mutual support and protecting one another, so think of yourself as having just gained some very large and powerful but loving bodyguards. Chromia in particular has no patience for bullies. Neither does Windblade, but she prefers to sort things out peacefully if you ever find yourself the target of more bullying. That likely comes from her role as a Cityspeaker, given that communication is her greatest skill, and she extends that to you as well. You'll never find her anything but enthusiastic to listen to what you have to say, and she loves to talk and share her opinions right back.

·Speaking of Cityspeaker duties, however, there's someone else in her circle that you'll get to meet. Titan's aren't just her coworkers, she bonds quite closely with them too, and she likes to help others understand that these gigantic beings can actually be quite lonely. Thus, your newfound family turns out to be much larger than you could have ever anticipated. That's to say nothing of how boundless the love and acceptance proves to be, as for the first time you find yourself surrounded by a judgement free environment, and it's like a breath of fresh air. Anything on your mind can be spoken without fear of rejection! Windblade takes listening incredibly seriously, after all, and so for the first time in your life you speak and are heard. The lack of genetic relations does nothing to stifle the wonder of it all.

·Yet, for her incredibly soft spark, Windblade quickly proves she has no patience for the bias you've become accustomed to as a techno-organic. Comments you were once forced to just endure are now met with fiery resistance from your adopted family. Should anyone ever get the idea they can threaten you, that assumption is very quickly corrected. The Stormfall Sword rarely even needs to be unsheathed for them to learn you're under considerable protection, and even if it does Windblade won't hesitate if she fears you're in any kind of danger, and neither will anyone else on your side. When you ask why they reply as if it's obvious; family looks out for family. They're with you through thick and thin, and you don't have to endure any cross words so long as they're around. Each one promises that much.

·Having endured what you have, it takes some time for you to understand that they mean it, and that they'll never abandon you. Windblade has truly taken you under her wing, as she so often likes to joke.

Ratchet

·Being a medic for a species desperately understaffed with doctors can be exceptionally difficult, especially with such high mortality rates, but that's never stopped Ratchet from caring. He knows every life is precious, and he forms friendships with the intent of them lasting a lifetime. No one is ever going to be uncared for if he has something to say about it. Thus, you more or less find yourself "adopted" by the gruff medic before you can even blink. Though techno-organics often face exclusion from bots, Ratchet has spent enough time performing surgery to know that what's on the inside physically hardly matters in terms of character. He's held the sparks of Autobots and Decepticons alike, and at the end of the day they all look the same.

·That being said, he makes it very clear to you that if anyone gives you a hard time, he wants to know straight away. His famously gruff demeanor isn't all an act, and he can absolutely make a bot regret every single mean word they said to you. Not only that, but he knows how emotional health is just as important as physical, so he makes sure to check in on you quite frequently. It's not our of character for him to sit you down if he sees something is bothering you, at which point he'll gently ask if you'd like to talk and he'll listen. Being busy doesn't mean he won't do everything in his power to make time for you.

·Something people often forget though, and you'll probably be quite surprised to see, is how much he likes to celebrate positive achievements and praise your hard work. Like a proud papa, he'll absolutely gush when he hears you've succeeded at something you've been working on. Not just to you either, if you're okay with it, he'll brag about it to anyone that listens. Confidence is important, so he does everything in his power to make sure you know your worth. The other medics all freely join in as well. Everyone who works in the medical bay gets close to one another, so they become your extended family of sorts, like a gathering of aunts and uncles who all do surgery together. It makes for a surprisingly cheerful crew.

·Upon getting closer to him, you eventually see that Ratchet isn't just acting gruff to cover a soft spark, he's arguably the softest bot on the entire ship. On more than one occasion you've drifted off somewhere only to wake up mysteriously tucked in to your own bed, and when asked he'll simply get flustere and say the mattress is better for your back. Trust him; he's fallen asleep at his desk often enough to know. Should you ever come down with any kind of illness, however, all pretenses of gruffness will dissapear very quickly. You'll find yourself doted on by a very caring docbot, one who encourages you to relax and not strain yourself while he brings you anything you need.

·Being a techno-organic often means enduring so much isolation that receiving any kind of medical care is hard, as neither organics nor bots typically want to treat you. However, as you spend more time with the medic who's adopted you, something begins to become clear. Not only do you receive all the medical attention you need without hesitation, but all the care one requires to truly be healthy. As a family should, he and the others medics look out for your emotional wellbeing too. Your sense of self finally begins to heal as you never knew it needed to.

Drift

·When it comes to being alone, few bots have a greater understanding than a former Decepticon. Even on the Lost Light he's pushed to the outskirts, and thus his precious few friends become lifelong companions that are naturally his family. Having explored far and wide and knowing that the prejudice against techno-organics like yourself is awful, his first action when he saw you was to offer his protection. He'll never let anyone endure loneliness if he can help it. You're surprised by how incredibly warm and affectionate he is right from the start, as his reputation would hardly suggest a bot who welcomes you like a literal ray of sunshine.

·Yet in surprisingly short order you find yourself under the protection of a bot who's simultaneously the friendliest and deadliest being on the ship. Drift checks in with you regularly to ensure you're not being made fun of or even made to feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. He doesn't want to kick anyone's butt, but he makes it clear he absolutely will if you're at risk, and he has the go ahead from Rodimus on that front. Speaking of which, the captain of the ship immediately grants you his own protection as well, stating that anyone who befriends his bestie is good by him. You're happy but incredibly surprised to find two individuals with such different personalities acting like they've grown up together, and the two don't even care about all the ways their perspectives differ!

·Growing closer to Drift only makes you more amazed at how impossibly mellow and relaxed he is. Though the bot could easily best almost any bot on the ship in combat, he's only interested in being friends with his fellow Autobots, hoping to extend the tenets of his religion into all aspects of his life. Though he wants you to convert, there's absolutely no pressure to do so, and he happily accepts your refusal if you decline. The laid back mech shows you the kind of nonjudgemental support system you never knew was possible. When asked about it, he says that he wants you to have a place where you'll always feel accepted, and he hopes to provide that.

·Even more than acceptance, you find him to be incredibly encouraging of all your goals, no matter how small some of them may be. Every time you achieve something he's effusive in his praise. Though he doesn't say why, eventually you put together that he sorely lacked the same in his youth. No doubt, he wants to provide you with everything he was missing. Whether he's more akin to a dad, uncle or cool brother becomes irrelevant over time. In time you come to realize what matters is you have someone who will always be in your corner. Should you ever need positive reinforcement of any kind, it's merely a request away.

·It takes time for it all to really sink in that you've been adopted more or less, all without your new family ever mentioning as much. In fact, Drift so naturally welcomed you into his life you're not sure he realized it either. The ninja bot is simply so loving and accepting you could forget there's a harsh universe out there every time he pulls you in for some comfort after a hard day. The peace of having such a system of support is indescribable.

#transformers #maccadam #mtmte #more than meets the eye #lost light imagine #lostlight #lost light #ll #idw #tf #my writing #my asks #anon #requests #transformers imagine #windblade #ratchet #drift #techno-organic reader #self insert

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

lilia-sama! happy birthday!! 🎂 i hope u have a wonderful day surrounded by those u call family and friends... did silver get u anything special? i saw u smile so happily earlier. ah, here is my gift... i made u a bloody mary! 🍹🍅 dont let the professors find out 🤭

“Why, thank you for the well wishes. I’ve been having a grand old time at this party.”

Lilia glances around him—the Light Music Club performing another set. Silver, Sebek, and Malleus carving up cake. His bats soaring high above the heads of various mob students, squeaking in delight. Lilia smiles, and returns his attention to you.

“I’m grateful to be surrounded by friends and family as we enter a new year.” For a moment, hos eyes flicker shut—and when they reopen, he seems different somehow. Solemn, thoughtful. “... The passage of time somewhat muddles my recollection of dates. I’ve long since forgotten my true birthday, but... on this day that I’ve assignef myself, I must enjoy while it still lasts.”

“Kufufu. Silver did indeed gift me something—as did Sebek and Malleus. I received far more presents this year alone than I have in my entire lifetime.” Lilia pats his breast pocket, his smile turning secretive. “Gifts are much appreciated, but...”

He cheekily leans a little closer to you. Light catches on his long lashes and wistful lips, casting shadows on his face. Lilia’s youth is still there—but something older and wiser also rises to the surface.

“What makes me the happiest is being able to spend this precious time with you all. It is so rare nowadays to find time to get together and to just enjoy one another’s company. So, for that, I thank you.”

He retreats, snapping back to a smile.

“Oh! And thank you very much for the ‘tomato juice’,” Lilia adds (emphasis on the ‘tomato juice’), whisking away the glass in your hand.

His voice dips to an impish whisper upon your ear. “This will just be a secret between us two.”

He raises his drink in a toast—

—then indulges.

#Lilia birthday takeover

[fwoopersongs]

何必诗债换酒钱 - Notes

Clean version here and thoughts under the cut.

I saw the song translation notes made by @shelterfromrain​ a while back and thought, wow! what a fantastic idea it is to share the results of the rabbit holing (that you inevitably end up engaging in when doing this) and leave a record for your future self while at it too! Currently some of the song and poetry translations on fwoopersongs do have little notes, but those were casually written on the fly and after so long, the thought process behind certain choices often get forgotten, which is such a waste... Long story short - I’m doing it this way from now on!

This song was requested by @peerlesssqq on twitter - which may or may not have bumped it up by like a year on my list (yes, I’ve been sitting on it since 2018 and you’ll see why) - and I had WAY more fun than expected, so 谢啦 ~ It was a delight to receive your DM request. I was happy for days!

Some background: 《何必诗债换酒钱》 is the theme song of 【文定乾坤】- a collection of musical works that feature notable contributors to Chinese literature in ancient times, poets and the like. Oh, and I did notice that the MV on bilibili looks like it could be a promo for a webtoon or game. Who knows? I’ll be checking out the rest of the songs, that’s for sure!

The following part of this post will be my thoughts for first the title, then each section - the intro, verse 1 & 2 and the chorus, ending off with some final comments.

Disclaimer first though (otherwise later you read already then feel like beating me up): Everything in this post is only my interpretation of the song. I have quite limited familiarity with mainland literature and culture, so of course don’t expect much xD Here you’ll only find a story-loving banana who jiak-ed kantang too much in her youth and now regrets it a whole lot. 说好了哈 I’m pants at analysis, worse at Chinese, and am not at all good with words ok?

Title

So《何必诗债换酒钱》, let’s start off with the word here that’s unfamiliar to most of us:

诗债 | shī zhài or a debt of poems/poetry debt is a legit thing! - All you authors and artists out there might be familiar with it - It’s what you call the resulting debt when a poet promises to write something for another person but hasn’t done it yet. Procrastination has apparently always been the curse of content creators.

In fact, in the Bai Juyi’s poem that came up on the 诗债 baidu page《晚春欲携酒寻沉四著作先以六韵寄之》- possibly addressed to a friend he owes - he was complaining of illness, old age and writer’s block. But then oh, he goes on and then I passed by a party where they had drinks, and was quite up to my gills & totally out of it for some time, and THAT’S why I’ve done you dirty and owe you ever so many poems. I don’t really understand the last two lines but apparently he then offers to bring a drink for this person he’s talking to, mentions a wish to meet a winter goddess (????? pretty girl? or the snow? idk which), and starts reminiscing the times that were like a precious string of pearls they had singing at Yang Pass. Most likely farewells, but without context I just don’t get it. Anyway bribery and misdirection huh? I see what you did there bro, and I’m sure the person you attempted to distract saw it coming too...

何必 | hé bì, is a rhetorical question of Must you really? In the case of this word, 何 functions as roughly ‘is it that’ and 必 as ‘it must be so’.

换酒钱 | huàn jiǔ qián is of course, exchange for money to purchase wine.

‘Must you really promise poems in exchange for money to buy wine?’ then is the literal translation of 何必诗债换酒钱.

So here is the question: Is alcohol worth a poetry debt? Onwards to the answer!

Intro

生就诗骨 算来三百篇  Born and already a poet to the bones, (with) three hundred works counting up to now. 

浪掷秦淮长安 风流李杜王白  Spending lavishly in Qinhuai and Chang’an, free/unrestrained as Li and Du, Wang and Bai;

余下十分 便随意肩上担  whatever left is divided in ten parts, casually thrown over a shoulder

权作金玉铜板 相谢好人间  and taken for jade, gold and coin, a big thank you to this good world!

I interpreted the 生 in the first line as 天生 i.e. innate, natural born talent, so this first line describes someone born with a gift for poetry with ‘three hundred’ works to their name. Although... that three hundred should not be taken too literally, it’s more likely to be an allusion to collected works like the 16th century anthology of poems, Three Hundred Tang Poems. After all, Li Bai, Du Fu, Wang Wei and Bai Juyi are the most famous Tang Dynasty poets… and they were all name-dropped in the next line!

浪掷 | làng zhì was a new phrase for me, and means something like spending freely and lavishly or willfully wasted. Of course Chang’an was the capital during the Tang Dynasty and it was the world's most populous city at the time. One can only imagine how prosperous it must have been… and what fun things were there to spend your money on! The banks of Qinhuai river and that general area was once a gathering place for noble/wealthy families, scholars looking for a good time (and some say, the red light district xD). Though by Sui/Tang, that area was no longer doing as well due to political shifts. So the mental image I got from 浪掷秦淮长安 is of someone gallivanting through places of interest, from the bustling and prosperous to the dilapidated.

风流 | fēng liú is as always, hard to translate with no full equivalent in english. The feel it gives me ranges from, ‘cool, dashing bloke on a galloping horse with their cloak/robes/hair flowing elegantly in the wind’ to ‘pleasure seeking dandy who totally knows how to enjoy life, all the courtesans know him by courtesy name!’.

The third line started with 余下十分, which will not make any sense - why leftover? Divide what by ten? - until its put in context with the following:

Three hundred poems 算来三百篇 + 权作金玉铜板 pretend they are gold/jade/money (权作 | quán zuò just means to take one thing for another temporarily.)

The load thrown over the shoulder 肩上担

Spendthrift behaviour on tour 浪掷秦淮长安

The TITLE: bro so u wanna promise poetry in exchange for money to drink? why.

Let’s take those precious poems that can be exchanged for gold - a whole bagful of scrolls, and now I’m so rich I can scatter my money down the streets of entertainment districts and the capital! The very image of a 风流 poet, reckless and free spirited.

// Folks, please learn from this silly girl and do not read songs (or poems) line by line. They need to be appreciated at a distance, not one inch from your eyeballs.

Verse 1

两分与月 劳烦身前打点 Two parts to the moon, (may I) trouble you to take care of me while I’m alive.

哪处巍峨峰峦 当借我悬来观 Wherever there are majestic peaks and ranges, do lend me (your light) to hang and see by.

三分典高楼 好与长风赴宴 Three parts pawned for the tall building, good for attending the banquet alongside the wind,

遍寻可爱星子 唾手一把玩 searching for charming little stars, easily caught to play with.

Now we get to see how the poet is spending his ‘wealth’. This verse is a lot more literal as compared to the introduction, so there’s not much to say.

打点 used here is so interesting! Because it’s what you call bribing someone in a superior position to smoothen your path ahead (so to speak). Thanks to a childhood of tvb drama, I vaguely associate the type of people who would 打点 with rich merchant or minor noble fathers who want to give their sons an easier time at court. Either that or lower ranked officials with less moral scruples. Anyway, what’s being said in the song is something like: here is 20% dear moon, I’ll have to trouble you to bless me for the rest of this lifetime, and also please lend me your light to see by when I have need of it at scenic spots *for art*. The moon is a muse for many poets in all its forms after all… 明月, 圆月, 孤月, 残月, 冷月, 江月, 秋月 and so on.

Actually that whole sentence 劳烦身前打点 is so playful and fun that I put it in quotation marks to emphasize it. We’ve only just begun. Is the speaker already drunk?

And with the third line, 30% has been spent. Just noting here that 典 | diǎn can be read as pawn or mortgage. Another interesting thing to note would be that this imagery of ascending a tall building 高楼 and reaching out for stars 星子 in the last two lines of Verse 1 brings to mind one particular poem, famously attributed to Li Bai. Following translation by yours truly.

《夜宿山寺》- Overnight at the Mountain Temple 危楼高百尺 | dangerously towering a hundred feet high 手可摘星辰 | the stars are within reach 不敢高声语 | one dares not raise their voice 恐惊天上人 | for fear of disturbing the deities

Though the two probably have nothing to do with each other, doesn’t the reverence in the tone of this one bring out the playful irreverence of the other? So. Much. Fun. I adore the whole feel of 遍寻可爱星子 唾手一把玩 SO MUCH.

Verse 2

两分与桥 歇脚南北行船 Two parts to the bridge where travellers on foot and by boat from the north and south can rest,

欣然八方风物 闲话半日茶碗 delighted by the scenery all around, idly chatting half the day away over bowls of tea.

三分典流水 润色枯瘦石山 Three parts for the running water, moistening the gaunt stone mountains

又将天地一展 伸手 试浓淡 and again spreading heaven and earth wide, reaching out to test the viscosity (of the water).

It took a few listens, but in the end I really enjoyed the aesthetics here. And again, this verse is quite straight to the point albeit with two things I cannot understand.

The first point of confusion for me is why the lyricist chose to use 桥 | qiáo, a bridge as the place for people to rest on their journeys. I assumed here that this in reference to a pier or dock, assumed also that he is donating funds for this structure to be built or repaired. However, if that were the case 坞 | wù would have been enough - 船坞 was supposedly invented only in the Song Dynasty though, so maybe that’s why another word was chosen. But it’s not like there is any incidence of 桥 being used to mean ‘dock’ either!

The second thing that confuses me is the use of 典 for 流水. In verse one, that 典 was referring to the poetry works sold to reserve the venue for a banquet. That usage was apt. Here I suspect it might be for parallel structure, because there is no alternative reading for 典 that might allow one to use their 30% 三分 to do anything to flowing water 流水. That’s the literal reading, of course.

If we’re taking this a little less literally, it can be interpreted as borrowing the scenery (figuratively, since the place would not belong to anyone in the way you might own a property) to admire. It also expands on the second line’s mention of the surrounding view 欣然八方风物; there is running water which completes 润色 and brings the appearance of the gaunt and rocky mountains 枯瘦石山 closer to perfection.

润色 | rùn sè means to polish, to bring to greater heights. When you say something has been 润色 it is made more brilliant and closer to perfection by that addition. It can also mean moisten.

We always hear ‘rivers and mountains like a painting’ 江山如画 - originating from Su Dongpo’s《念奴娇·赤壁怀古》- used when the scenery is wonderful, because how often is real life as ideal as what we can imagine and depict? And that is exactly what is described here. The feeling out if the ‘water’ is concentrated or diluted 试浓淡 is used in answer to 一展 unfurling. 浓淡 of ink to 一展 of painting scroll. The land and sky seem like an ink wash painting, so beautiful that the viewer cannot help but reach out to run their hand through the water.

Chorus

Chorus Part 1

若趁游兴直到酣 If we take advantage of our wanderlust and go roaming till it is sated,

千字文章不值钱 classics and essays shan’t be worth a coin.

诗换花 词换雪 A poem for a flower! A song for snow!

再作檄文斗天官 Another denunciation for those heavenly officials!

Starting off with three new terms for me: 游兴 | yóu xìng means enthusiasm for travel. 酣 | hān can mean having a great time drinking, or being very satisfied and satiated. 檄文 | xí wén is a type of official document written for important announcements, declaration of war, or denunciation and condemnation of certain people or actions.

While I still feel this need to go out to see the world, I shall keep on the road until I am satisfied. Who cares about writing, who cares for study, it’s all worthless to me. I do what I want. And what I want is to write a little poem in exchange for a flower, some lyrics for a flake of snow. I’ll even write a denunciation against those officials in heaven (immortals). Fight me!!!!

I point again at Verse 1 with climbing the tower to play with stars. It’s no longer just playing nearby, now he wants a go at the gods.

Among the four parts of the chorus, this one is the simplest for sure. The lines mean exactly what is said. It also feels the most chaotic and mischievous. Is the speaker drunk? Is he high on something? One thing’s for sure. He’s out of money.

Chorus Part 2

何愁不得一样我 Why feel troubled that (I) cannot have another just like me?

知交尽向话中添 for one who understands you and is understood, look entirely towards stories to fill that place

唐解元 嵇中散 people like Tang Bohu (first in provincial examinations) and proud, upright and stubborn Ji Kang

且驰大梦任疯癫 Just chase that great dream, allow yourself to go mad.

I feel like the first two lines are quite straightforward, though they might not appear so on first reading: How could there be a need to feel sad or troubled that I have no like-minded equal. To find a true friend who understands you without need for words, and whom you understand in return, all you need to do is turn to those tales and stories 话中 for people to fill 添 that place.

唐解元 - People like Tang Yin, courtesy name: Bohu 唐寅, 字伯虎 (1470–1524 AD), noted painter, calligrapher and poet of the Ming Dynasty. Tang Yin led a life full of ups and downs that really cannot be covered in a paragraph’s worth of song translation notes. You can check out his wiki page if you’re curious though! There’s a little more on him where I cover the last line of this section. He is addressed as 解元 | jiè yuán here which is the term for the top scorer of the provincial examinations (second stage in the Imperial examination ladder). It is also an honorific for scholars. Tang Bohu is both.

嵇中散 - People like Ji Kang, courtesy name: Shuye 嵇康, 字叔夜, (223–262 AD), one of the Seven Sages of the Bamboo Grove - a group of friends who wisely kept themselves aloof from the dangerous politics of the Court, and devoted themselves to art, refinement and debate, of the Three Kingdoms period. He was a Daoist philosopher, musician, writer and poet.  

An accomplished musician, the qin composition 廣凌散 | guǎnglíng sàn is attributed to Ji Kang, though some versions of the story claim he learned it from a ghost while stopping at a pavillion on his way home. 嵇中散 was one of the names he was known by because of his appointment to the position of Attendant Counsellor, 中散大夫 | zhōng sàn dàfū, a civil official unspecified duties in the court of Cao Wei.

When Ji Kang was sentenced to death for his attempt to testify for a wrongly accused friend, three thousand scholars petitioned for his pardon to no avail. It’s said that at the execution ground, while they waited for the appointed hour, he had his favourite qin brought out and played a brilliant interpretation of Guanglin San that is now forever lost.

Do go read about them both if you have the time!

I would like to point out for the last line that 任 is to allow, to indulge, and it’s just such a heady sensation to say 任疯癫 - indulge in the madness! throw yourself in and don’t look back!

There is an easter egg here too. A nod to a poem by Tang Yin which can be read as his stance on his lifestyle choice after the alleged accusations of bribery in the final step of the Imperial examinations left him disgraced, and unable to pursue a civil career. Thematically the line does not call back to the poem at all, similarities end with the choice of words: chasing the dream 驰大梦 and indulging madness 任疯癫.  I leave an excerpt below. Translation again by me.

《桃花庵歌》- Song of a Plum Blossom Cottage // 若将花酒比车马 | if tawdriness and wine were compared against fine carriage and steed 他得驱驰我得闲 | he would have to drive and work hard for speed whilst I have my idle rest 别人笑我太疯癫 | others mock me for my madness 我笑他人看不穿 | i am amused for they do not perceive 不见五陵豪杰墓 | can’t you see that at the Emperors’ mausoleums and heroes’ graves 无花无酒锄做田 | there are no flowers, no wine, only land ploughed for farming

The second part of the chorus isn’t related to the first, but it has the same theme of showcasing the untamable (unhinged xD) spirit of the speaker. This time, the people he admires ‘intellectual equals’ and kindred spirits are featured, the 任性 feeling here has been pushed to greater heights.

Chorus Part 3

敢夸洒落何须酒 If one dares to boast of carefreeness, why, they hardly need wine.

不煮黄粱也称仙 Even without brewing millet they would still be called Immortal.

镜湖桌 白梅盏 The tables in the mirror-like lake, white plum blossoms in the cups,

等来春风恰开宴 await the spring breeze which arrives just in time for the feast to start!

Li Bai is regarded as both the god of poetry 诗仙 and god of drunkards wine 酒仙 because he wrote some of his greatest poems while drinking. The first two lines seem to be gently poking fun at that. Like hey, if you dare to claim to be all groovy, surely you have no need for alcohol? Just like how an immortal would still be an immortal without wine, your writing talent should not need any stimulants. This would be the time to mention that 黄粱 | huáng liáng is also known as millet, a type of grain that can be used to brew wine.

洒落 | sǎ luò has a few meanings, like shower down or blame, but the relevant one here would be 洒脱 generous, uninhibited and open. For me it feels similar to 风流 in that there is that ‘free, and exhilaratingly unrestrained’ element. 洒落 is in the most positive sense, being always open to having a good time, but without that dissolute or vaguely whirlwind-romance like connotation of 风流.

It feels like the intensity is letting up a little here - this is a light-hearted and frivolous song all the way through, but the words 洒落, 称仙 and imagery of a clear lake, white plum blossoms and the crisp spring breeze are grounding and sweet. Spirited in a different way from before.

Chorus Part 4

四角天地也醺然 The four corners and heaven and earth are also tipsy,

醉极自有桃李搀 when I’ve overindulged, my students will be there to help.

快意只 笔下讨 Gratification can only be claimed from beneath the brush;

何必诗债换酒钱 is falling into poetry debt worth that money for drink?

New words: 醺然 | xūn rán just means drunk. A new word for me though! 桃李 | táo lǐ is literally peach 桃 and plum 李 (李花, also known as 玉梅) flowers, and is a metaphor for students. The term originates from a story in 《韩诗外传》which was set in the Wei Kingdom of the Spring and Autumn period (771 to 476 BCE). There was once a highly ranked official who was sacked from his post and left for the north. He met another gentleman and remarked that the people he helped before did not lift a finger when he was in need. This person replied that, if someone were to plant peach and plum trees in spring, he could relax under their shade in the Summer and taste their fruit in the Autumn. But if that person were to plant weeds, nothing can be done with their leaves in Spring and there would only be burrs to hurt himself on in Autumn. Clearly the people the unfortunate gentlemen had helped before were not worth his effort. Students ought to be carefully selected and carefully cultivated as one would a tree.

Reading the four corners and heaven and earth 四角天地 are also tipsy 也醺然, I imagine the world sort of spinning around the speaker because he is drunk. But that’s okay, because his students (or the trees xD) will be there to support him.

快意 | kuài yì is the feeling of sudden relaxation, and then lightheartedness and joy. In this line, I felt like the intention would be closer to 畅快，爽快 and so chose gratification, because really writing is like scratching an itch isn’t it? Pleasure from satisfaction of a desire. Phrasing it as 笔下讨 is so very fitting though, because 讨 can be interpreted - somewhat contradicting - as either to demand or to beg. What could be more gratifying than having squeezed out the perfect sentence or word under your figurative pen?

So so so after all that, 何必诗债换酒钱? What do you think, is alcohol worth the poetry debt? Is Mr. Poet actually drunk and about to dig himself a deeper hole of owed poems to get even MORE drunk, or has he just been thinking about it all along? :)

Thoughts

This has been such a fun adventure following our madcap big spender from the shining Chang’an to the inviting Qinhuai, shadow of great poets in tow and all. We’ve done everything from talking to the moon and seeing the sights by her light, to boating down a river, dragging fingers through the water. It was sort of like being on a backpacking tour, except with with someone contemplating opening (or perhaps regretting opening this can of worms?) poetry commissions instead of singing in the streets?

Dear reader, if you’ve reached this point of my post, thank you. I hope you enjoy the song as much as I do now!

#何必诗债换酒钱 #translation notes #i made a new years resolution and this is step one #i had so many more things to say lol but it's like 1 am and i need to go to bed #this took way longer than i thought it might

[forgottenpasta]

Wednesday

Summary: Each day of the week was reserved for one member: Jimin on Mondays, Namjoon on Tuesdays, Hoseok on Wednesdays, Seokjin on Thursdays, Taehyung on Fridays, Jeongguk on Saturdays and Yoongi on Sundays. Juggling a relationship with seven boys was difficult on its own. Add to that your insecurities, your mother’s disapproval and Hoseok forgetting your anniversary and you had the makings of the worst Wednesday ever. (...Or the best Wednesday ever?)

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader, Ot7 x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

Warnings: Unprotected Sex, Oral (female receiving), Rimming, Creampie Rough Sex, Public Sex, Fingering, Orgasm Denial

Word Count: 12.2k

A/N: Enjoy! :)

“Where is it?”, you muttered, throwing open your closet to scan the contents of your scarf drawer. After a short second you slammed it close with a curse.

Your favourite green scarf with pretty red lace tulips sewn in on the edges was nowhere to be found. You’d checked the laundry and every inch of your living space with no luck. Pouting at the thought of losing the precious gift Jimin had given you after returning from the European leg of their tour, you slumped on your bed. Snatching your phone from where it had been charging on the bedside table, you dialled Hoseok’s number, not giving a mind to the loud clack as the charger’s adapter pulled free of the socket and fell on the floor, the wire still connected to the phone at your ear.

There were two reasons for your foul mood this lovely Wednesday morning. One was the scarf, and the other…

Hoseok hadn’t called like he did every Wednesday morning to confirm he wasn’t busy and that he’d be spending the night with you. But that wasn’t all. Today was special for the two of you. Just the two of you. And despite your myriad hints leading up to this day, Hoseok hadn’t shown even the slightest proof that he remembered. 

He hadn’t called you and now he wasn’t picking up his phone. 

With a frustrated sigh, you dialled Jin instead. He answered on the third ring.

“Babygirl.” 

A content smile flitted on your face at the eldest’s soft endearment of a greeting, temporarily easing the unknown frustration you’d been feeling the last few days. 

“Good morning Jin.” His name was a sigh on your lips, and you knew he’d be able to pick up on your current temperament from just that. Out of all of them, Jin was the most attuned to your emotions, often the one you sought out when you were feeling down or moody or if you just needed someone to cuddle away all your worries. No wonder he was the one you’d automatically called. 

Sure enough, he sounded more alert when he asked, “What’s wrong, __?” 

“I can’t find my favourite green scarf.”, you whined. You sounded like a petulant three year old complaining to her mother, but you knew Jin would never make fun of you.

An amused snicker sounded down the line. “Aww, did babygirl lose her blankie?”

You scowled at your iPhone, then slapped it back against your ear. “Seokjin, you traitor. You’ve been hanging out with Taehyung too much.”

“What can I say,” You heard the sound of a door closing, likely Jin coming out of his room. “He’s been unusually generous lately. Been paying for all our food, insists on it even.”

“He’s upto something.”, you said without a second thought. 

“Oh I’m sure. Likely wants in on the rap line now that he’s secured a spot on the dance one. That boy won’t rest till he’s had a cypher of his own.” Jin yawned and you heard the distinct sound of the fridge opening. “Just last week I saw him disappear into Yoongi’s studio for hours. Just to come out with an intense look of determination on his face. Like he was about to go to war. I was scared.”

You chuckled, a sudden urge came over you to kiss Taehyung breathless, till he could no longer conjure up all kinds of schemes in that adorable head of his. More and more often, similar surges of emotion regarding the guys would pop up in your brain when you were away from them. 

If a sweet love song played at the cafe you worked at, you started craving Jeongguk’s soft, whispered singing in your ear. If you read a particularly interesting book, you immediately wanted to discuss it with Namjoon. You shivered every time you passed a sex shop on the streets, remembering Jimin’s expert hands binding you with his silken ropes till you quivered with anticipation. Jin’s affectionate gestures were always at the back of your mind when you saw a couple on the streets or a lifetime movie with too much romance and not enough plot. And even the most random things reminded you of Yoongi. A cat cuddled into a ball outside your window, an oversized black hoodie on someone, the smell of brewed chocolate (his favourite drink ever since you’d rendered all his recording equipment unusable by pouring a cup of it over them). 

And Hoseok. He was the start of it all, the member you had met even before you knew seven boys were going to crash into your boring, monotonous life and turn it upside down. The first person you had fell in love with. The one who had introduced you to the rest of them. 

The one who was supposed to be your one and only boyfriend. 

Till you’d come to the horrifying realisation that you felt more than just platonic affection for the six other boys who’d come attached with him like a buy one get six free package deal.

Jin’s voice snipped that train of thought in the bud. “I can tell you’re not listening to me, babygirl. I’d feel offended but thankfully the size of my ego is directly proportionate to my handsomeness.”

You rolled your eyes, too used to his boasting. “Can you ask Namjoon if he saw the scarf? He was here last night when I was wearing it.”

Jin huffed and you heard him moving through the dorm again. “You only call me when you need something, __. I’m sure I don’t like it.”

You grinned. “What happened to your invincible ego? Besides, I distinctly recall you getting off to my moans when I called you last Thursday, just for you to turn it into phone sex—”

“I was 587 miles away from you, woman! We had a show the next day, I couldn’t just book a flight from Narita to Incheon just to spend a few hours with you like last time.” Jin groaned. “I needed you so bad and my hand was a piss poor replacement.”

Your heart was melting into a sympathetic puddle. But before you could reply to his impassioned declaration Jin started laughing. 

“Yo, what the fuck!”, he managed in between guffaws. 

Perking up , you asked, “What is it?”

“What did you do to poor Namjoon last night?” You heard a little shuffling, then a groggy voice groaned in the background. “He’s out cold on the couch, muttering in his sleep. Here listen.”

“…mmhfh y/n-ah, juft one mor paghe n weh cann fuk…hmf…”

“Oh my god!” You giggled, not being able to understand the sounds coming out of his mouth anymore. Jin must have brought the phone close to his mouth. 

“What did you do to him?!”

In between suppressed laughter, you managed to explain, “He wanted to have sex so bad last night but I had a ton of classwork, so he helped me complete it, hoping it would get done faster and he’ll get some. But he fell asleep on my desk writing an essay on Turko-Mongol war strategy and weaponry.”

“You and your essays on dead people.”, Jin teased, still chuckling. The boys were well aware of your love for history and literature, even indulged your interests by buying you all kinds of first editions of rare books and published articles. During your Medieval era European poets phase, Yoongi had bought you some early 16th century illustrations of Dante’s Divine Comedy. They were so priceless that you’d cried at the sight of them. When you’d haltingly asked where and how he got them when even reputed museums had difficulty finding early Dante illustrations, Yoongi had evaded your question like the plague. To this day you suspected he had some very high connections in the black market.

“Oh and by the way”, Jin said offhandedly. “I think he’s drooling on your scarf.”

Mirth disappeared and your eyes went round. “What?!” Then you remembered you’d wrapped it around his neck early this morning while you were still half asleep, hoping he wouldn’t catch a cold on his way to the dorm. “Aagh, get it away from him!”

The doorbell went off just then, surprising you. You weren’t expecting anyone.

“Umm Jin, I’ll call you later,” you told him, getting up from your bed. “Save my scarf please. That’s the only gift I have from Jimin that isn’t a sex toy. And also, ask Hoseok to call me please.”

 “Sure.”, he reassured. “Are you coming to our photoshoot today? I know you don’t have any classes scheduled.”

“Miss a chance of seeing you guys all dolled up and posing sexily? Hell no.”

Jin laughed. “I love you, you pervert. Bye.”

“Mmhm, I love me too.” You hung up, knowing full well that Jin would be rolling his eyes at your antics.

“I’m coming!”, you shouted as the bell went off again, striding out of your bedroom and towards the front door. The smiling face of your mother was the last thing you were expecting to see when you opened it.

“Mom!” You hugged her automatically. “What are you doing here?”

She patted your back, dropping a kiss on the side of your head. Her ever youthful face coming into your view as she pulled back. “I was in Seoul to attend a soiree some of my friends were hosting. I couldn’t leave without meeting you.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”, you said cheerfully, ushering her in and closing the door. “Let’s talk in the kitchen. I’ll make some tea for you.”

She followed you into the kitchen, seating herself on one of the breakfast barstools as you set about making her a hot cup of her preferred beverage. “Thank you, dear. I really appreciate that you keep tea in your kitchen for when I visit, even though you don’t drink it.”

“Oh, umm, it’s nothing mom.” You stared at the water filling the kettle intently, not having the heart to tell her that you also kept it for when Taehyung stayed over. He didn’t like the taste of coffee.

Your mother knew about your relationship with the seven boys. Your father didn’t. After those first few weeks of being with them, you’d taken the risk of telling her because you had no one to talk about such a big change happening in your life. You couldn’t tell any of your college friends because technically Bangtan were not supposed to be dating anyone, let alone all seven of them dating one, lest their fangirls (and boys) get mad. You couldn’t risk outing them. The only one you hundred percent trusted to keep a secret was your mom. So you had told her. And as expected she’d kept your secret even from your father. 

 But that did not mean she approved or supported seven men being with her one daughter. 

“Hows college going, sweetheart?”, she asked, watching you put in a tablespoon of sugar in her tea, just as she liked. 

“It’s going good.” You paused. That was a lie. “Actually I barely get time to complete my class projects. It’s kinda hectic.”

“__, please tell me you finally broke it off with those boys.”, she blurted out as soon as you poured her a cup. 

There it was. Of course she would assume you didn’t get time because your boyfriends took up all of it.

Rubbing sluggishly at your eyes, you sighed. Your mother was never one to beat around the bush.

“Mom, I love them.” You looked up into her eyes so she could see how sincere you were. “I’m not going to end it with them.”

She took a cautious sip from her cup, a contemplative expression coming over her face. You braced yourself. When your mother got thoughtful, it meant she was about to drop some serious truth bombs and painful facts that you were likely not going to like or want to hear. 

“So, are you waiting for them to end it with you?” She raised a brow, phrasing her question like she was genuinely curious. You knew better. 

“ You’re a very intelligent girl, dear. Do you seriously see such an arrangement lasting?” Her mouth twisted at the word “arrangement”, like it tasted foul.

Gazing at the ceiling, you prayed for her understanding, even though a part of you understood her reservations and that she was only looking after you. 

“You don’t know them like I do, mom. They love me too. Very much so.” Your voice came out strained, ruining the conviction you’d wanted to infuse it with.

“I don’t doubt that. Look at me, __.”, she ordered softly.

You did and she offered you a tentative smile. “I don’t doubt that at all. You deserve all the love in the world and more. But a little pragmatism goes a long way, __. How is it possible that seven men keep themselves limited to one girl only?”

She took your hand that was fisted on top of the counter, slowly prying the tensed muscles open till you gave her your palm and she kissed the middle of it. “I don’t want you to get hurt, y/n. And you’re only setting yourself up for a seven times bigger fallout if you keep this thing up. Men are notoriously possessive creatures, if they don’t seek out other women, they’ll likely fight amongst themselves for you.”

Shaking your head, you took your hand out of her grasp. “No, mom. They’re very close, like brothers. They do get jealous when other men hit on me but never each other.” 

Your mother sighed, frustration creeping up on her face. Her tone hardened as she said, “Then they would not hesitate to kick you to the curb if you threaten their unity even the slightest bit. I did not want to do this but you have to stop being so naïve, __. Haven’t you thought about why they agreed to this thing with you so easily?”

You almost said because they liked you so much, but you knew that wasn’t the answer your mother had in mind. “I’m sure you’re going to enlighten me.”

She leaned forward with a scowl. “Because it’s convenient. They’re insanely popular right now. Everywhere they go they’ve got eyes on them. Even your recluse of a father, who only concerns himself with politics and sports knows their songs. It’s easier for them to keep and share one woman then deal with seven.”

The kitchen was deathly silent save for the blood rushing in your ears. You did not want to hear this. You did not want some half baked ideas your mom had raise doubts in your mind about the boys. 

Forcing back the tears that threatened, you softly murmured, “Mom, please.” 

But she wasn’t done. “You drop everything to go to them. You keep yourself available 24/7. At their beck and call seven days a week.”

“It’s not like that.”, you exclaimed. “They support me just as much, if not more. They never ask for more than I’m comfortable giving.”

“That’s the problem, y/n.”, your mother snapped. “You’re willing to give too much of yourself. Better reel yourself in before you find yourself utterly vulnerable and exposed, with no one to lean on.”

“What does that mean?”, you asked, just as harshly.

“It means…”, she paused, as if debating wether to continue or not, before shaking her head. “I’m telling you to be ready for the time when they find partners of their own.”

Aggravated at her continued belabouring, you threw up your hands. “I’ve told you they aren’t interested in other girls—”

“Yet.” She cut you off. “Or maybe who knows, they might just be keeping company of others behind your back. Though you’re smart you’ve never been very observant.”

“Mom!”, you almost shouted, horrified at what she was insinuating. Even the thought of them going behind your back like that was unbearably painful. But you trusted them, so this whole conversation was unnecessary. “You’re just saying that because you haven’t met them. Once you’ll get to know what kind of people they really are, you wouldn’t say such things.”

She sneered, clearly put off by even the idea of meeting them. Then she delivered the final blow. “That’s not gonna happen, Y/n. The day you bring home seven men at once, your father will have a heart attack. And I’m not ever going to be interested in meeting the men who treat my daughter like a communal shower.”

“Mom.”, you breathed, pinching the bridge of your nose for patience and to quell the tears that were waiting to burst free. You couldn’t believe she actually said that. “I think you should leave.”

 “I think so too.” You heard her get up from the barstool, opening your eyes to gaze unseeingly at her half empty cup on the counter. 

The sound of her retreating footsteps stopped at the entryway. “I’m your mother, __. I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for you. Remember that.” 

And with that parting reminder, she left. As soon as the door closed behind her, your tears fell like a dam burst free, crumbling all your emotional defences along with it. Slowly, and not-so-gracefully you crumbled to the kitchen floor yourself, your butt hitting the cool tiles as you buried your face in your knees, wrapping your arms around them to make a rolled up, human ball of woe. 

When initially you’d told your mother about the boys almost half an year ago she’d been disbelieving at first. Later, when she’d finally accepted you were not joking, she’d told you that you would get tired of “this new polyamory fad” soon, not being able to handle dealing with so many people in your love life at once. You guessed that after almost a year of you dating Bangtan, she’d finally come around to the fact that this wasn’t just a phase in her daughter’s life. Today was the first time she’d gotten so vocal about her disapproval though. Usually it was just snide remarks, invasive questions or straight up ignoring that you were even dating someone. You knew that keeping such a big thing from your dad because of the promise you’d extracted from her also weighed on her conscience.  

The chill seeped from the cold tiles to your whole body and you shivered as you wiped your tears, frowning when more rushed to replace them. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t asked all those questions your mother had raised yourself. Trepidation had racked you when you’d first ventured into such a daring commitment with them. Will you alone be able to satisfy them? How would you divide your time amongst seven men? What if they got bored with you, or worse, jealous of each other? Would they seek out someone else?

But slowly and surely, the boys had shown you that trust and loyalty, though hard earned, were bonds that survived the treacherous potholes of navigating a polyamorous relationship. You trusted them, you were loyal to them. They trusted you, they were loyal to you. 

Or were they?

Shaking your head, you got up off the floor with a huff, stalking to your bedroom with an irritated gait. This is why you did not want to talk to your mother. You were only human. The seeds of doubt once sown, germinated into assumptions and suspicion you absolutely loathed. Mainly, because you were self aware enough to realise that they had no real substance to them, they only reflected your own secret fears back at you. But again, you were only human and no matter how much you tried to shake off the encounter with your mom, your mood soured further when your overactive imagination supplied images of the boys with other women. 

And your age old enemy, insecurity, reared its ugly head. Taehyung was an ass man, maybe he’d like to be with someone with a bigger butt. Were you even intelligent enough for Namjoon? Jin would suit a more wholesome woman who knew how to cook something other than ramen. Yoongi liked breasts, maybe someone with a perkier pair. You could not sing to save your life, so why did Jeongguk like you when all his female celebrity crushes had killer pipes? Jimin used to train submissives before you came into his life, did he think about those happier times? 

Did Hoseok resent having to share you with his members when you’d pledged to love him and only him? 

You were angrily yanking open your closet to look for something to wear to their photoshoot when your phone flashed from where you’d thrown it on the bed before your mom had officially ruined your day. 

Peeking a look at it, you wondered if you should have read your horoscope. Because the day was far from over.

Hobi: Few high school friends invited me for drinks tonight. Rain check?

~.~.~

Exactly one year ago ~

The bookstore became eerily quite after 10 pm. Only a few last minute stragglers sometimes showed up to look for some obscure book they obviously couldn’t find anywhere else. 

You loved being with your lonesome self behind the cash register. Usually with a book in your hands, reading up on all kinds of historical fiction, medieval fantasies, long forgotten poems of equally unknown poets and of course the occasional bodice ripper. 

Which was what you were doing when the bell above the entrance chimed, indicating someone was indeed, on the prowl for some late night book hunting. You didn’t look up from the raunchy text in your lap as a dark figure passed by, clearly no more interested in exchanging pleasantries than you were. With a shrug you went back to focus on the guilty pleasure of a novel you’d picked for yourself tonight. A courtesan heroine during renaissance Italy who entertained patrons from not only the newly emerging Humanist circles but also the corrupt members of the clergy? Oh yes please. 

But when, out of the corner of your eye, you saw the newcomer heading for the comic book section you grew intrigued. Late night hunting for…comic books? 

Close proximity to the Seoul National University meant that the bookstore you worked at housed mostly academic readings. And as such the people who came here were also mostly students who wished to buy a copy of the expensive publishings they could otherwise also find in a library. That alone meant that the bookstore was never buzzing with customers. Let alone ones who were looking for some flashy illustrations and superhero escapism. The comic books you had on offer usually just collected dust. 

Curiosity getting the better of you, you abandoned your heroine in midst of a wanton tryst with a nobleman to observe the anomaly currently browsing the comics on display. 

He had on a long black trench coat, leather pants encasing the muscular legs below and Dr. Martens on his feet. His hair was covered with a black cap and from what you could see, a mask of the same colour stretched across his face. It wasn’t unusual to see people with their face fully covered, so you didn’t think much of his all black ensemble. Though he would blend in perfectly outside at night, under the store’s bright lights he stuck out like a bat during the day. 

Maybe he’s a fan of batman. 

When he’d chosen his pick he turned around, making you duck your head down quickly. The light chuckle that reached your ears meant that you weren’t fast enough and he’d caught you checking him out. You flushed red. 

“Can I get these gift wrapped please?” 

Two comic books landed on the counter in front of you, the sound accompanying the husky lilt of the man’s voice. 

Left with no choice but to interact with him, you softly replied, “Of course.” Strangely, your heart beat spiked as you reached forward to pick the thin, glossy books up. He’d placed his hands on the wood counter, palms down, his sleeves pushed up a little. For a second you stared at his long fingers, a ridged vein stretching from the knuckles to the back of his right hand, forking out on his bare forearm before disappearing under his clothing like a purplish blue tattoo. 

As if on cue, he started drumming his fingers, snapping you into action as you quickly scanned his purchase. 

“That’ll be 15,430 won.” Opening a cabinet to pull out a selection of wrapping papers, you deliberately took your time to avoid meeting his eyes. What was going on with you? You couldn’t even see his face properly but you were acting like a teenager with her first crush. You decided it was time to stop reading romantic fantasies. 

Clearing your throat you presented the options to him with a flourish, this time looking him straight in the eyes. “Which one would you like?”

He gave a cursory glance to the colourful sheets before glancing back at you with a quirked brow. Was he laughing at your flustered form? You couldn’t tell what with the mask, but there was definitely mirth dancing in his eyes.  

A shrug. “Whichever. I really don’t care.”

“Fine”, you huffed, really not appreciating being the source of his amusement. You chose a blue paper with green stripes, placing the comics in the middle. 

“I like that one.”, he commented graciously. And you were just about to reply when he continued cheekily, “I also like your choice in books.” 

Your hands froze, eyes darting to the unfinished

novel you’d placed face up on the table. The salacious cover showed a woman in medieval garb, her mouth half open in a silent moan as a blonde man wearing a billowy white shirt kissed her bare shoulder, the open neck of her gown threatening to expose her breasts. 

In a flash you flipped the book, cover side down, opening a drawer to hastily throw it inside. Slamming it closed, you glared at the man who was now outright laughing at you. 

“Don’t be embarrassed.”, he cajoled in a tone that suggested you should, in fact, be embarrassed. “Everyone’s gotta live vicariously somehow.”

Was he suggesting you read erotic books because you didn’t get laid in real life? 

You narrowed your eyes. “Is that why you’re reading children’s books?” You indicated the My Little Pony picture book and the Superman comic he’d picked up. “I must say you’ve got varied tastes.”

“Hey now.” He held up his hands. “Those are for my niece and nephew. They’re twins and it’s their birthday today.”

“Maybe that’s what you say whenever you’ve got to stock up on the latest My Little Pony issue. Have them gift wrapped so no one suspects.” Now you were just pushing it, but the burn of embarrassment still irked.  

He was grinning behind his mask. “No that one’s for my nephew. He likes ponies.”

You gaped at him. “You’re not serious.”

“I am.”

You held up the Superman issue. “And I’m guessing your niece likes superheroes?”

“Only the ones who can fly.” He shrugged. “According to her Batman is an imposter with no real powers.”

“Radical.”, you said in amazement.

“Look I didn’t mean to upset you.” His hand on the counter moved to cover yours. A shock of awareness jolted through your spine, making you sit up straighter. By the way he swallowed, he wasn’t unaffected either. But he didn’t let go of your hand, clutched it tighter actually. “I’m sorry if I was rude.”

“I, umm.”, you stuttered, not being able to look away from his sincere gaze. What were you upset about again? Yeah, the living vicariously comment. “It’s alright. Though I’ll have you know, I get plenty of action.”

No you didn’t get plenty of action. And you did not just say that.

At least you’d managed to shock him out of his sauve demeanour. “I’m…sure you do.” He cleared his throat, squeezing your hand. “I wasn’t insinuating anything. I read smut too, you know.”

Now it was your turn to be shocked. “You don’t.” 

“I don’t.” He grinned again. “Just trying to make you feel better.”

“Hey!” You snatched back your hand, scowling at him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”, he breathed in between laughter. “You’re just too easy to rile up.”

“Ha ha.”, you mocked. “Are you living vicariously through me then? Not enough comedy in your life, huh?” 

He straightened then, his amusement disappearing. “Maybe.”

Reaching for the hand you’d pulled out of his grip, he brought it closer to him. Wrapping both his hands around yours, he made sure you were looking into his eyes when he said, “Maybe you’re exactly what I need in my life.”

Your breath hitched at that. “I don’t even know your name.”

His eyes crinkled at that. He was smiling behind his mask again. At that moment, you wanted to see his face more than anything in the world. 

One hand let go of yours to point at the large S on Superman’s chest on the comic’s cover. 

You frowned in confusion. “Your name is…S?”

“No silly. That’s not an S, that’s the Kryptonian symbol for hope.”

~.~.~

Present Day~

Your tears had dried by the time you left your house to head for the Bighit building. The occasional sniffle still persisted though, and you hoped you looked put together enough for the boys to not suspect anything. 

The talk with your mother was not entirely responsible for your persisting melancholy. You’d been reminiscing your first meeting with Hoseok ever since his text came in. Something about it being the first anniversary of when he’d come into your quaint little bookshop, all masked up in disguise and asked you out, after thoroughly embarrassing you that is. You hadn’t gotten to see his face on the first date either, or the second or the third. When he’d asked you why you still went on multiple dates with him when he didn’t allow you to see his face (which also meant he didn’t kiss you), you’d joked about having a taste for wanted fugitives. 

But the truth was that you’d fallen in love with him even before you really knew who he was. He made you laugh, made your heart flutter when he’d wrap you up in his arms, he wasn’t afraid to push your boundaries when it came to getting to know you. By the time the fifth date had rolled around he knew everything about you and you still knew nothing about him, except for the fact that he had some sinful moves, which you’d gotten to know when he’d gave you a fully clothed lap dance on your birthday. You’d fallen for his mannerisms. He’d pull out your chair, open doors for you, give you his jacket. He was different than all the guys you’d previously dated, he never once tried to get into your pants, the most you’d gotten was a quick brush of his lips across your forehead before he’d quickly slide his mask back in place.  

You were the one who’d grown frustrated at him taking it so slow. He’d only chuckle lightly and divert your hand to safety whenever you tried to grope him, all your amateur attempts at seduction thwarted when he’d cage you in his arms instead or pull your attention elsewhere. 

The day you’d gotten to see his face was also the day he introduced you to the rest of the boys. When he’d invited you over to his place for the first time you were ecstatic. Finally having his trust was a big deal to you. By now you’d realised he must be someone important (or dangerous) for him to hide his identity for so long, but you’d never pushed him to reveal himself. You’d thought he’d finally realised how serious you were about him. 

Oh, he’d realised it alright. When he’d opened the dorm door for you, the first thing he’d done was kiss your mouth senseless, even before you’d registered who it was you were looking at. When he’d pulled back after ravishing your mouth, you’d gaped at him in shock, both at his hungry mauling and the fact that  you were looking at, well, him. A world famous artist. Who’d just kissed you like his life depended on it. 

His words then were still etched into your brain. He’d smiled wide and you remember thinking it was the most beautiful sight ever. “You have no idea how long I’ve been dying to kiss you, __.” 

You clutched your coat around you tighter as you took the familiar route to your boyfriends’ workplace. A wistful smile graced your lips when you remembered how the rest of the boys had embraced you into their group seamlessly, like you were always meant to be right by their side. Your friendship with them had started out innocent enough, but they had always been very handsy when it came to you. You hadn’t minded and neither did Hoseok, when one of them asked you for a massage or laid their head in your lap or if the competitive younger ones tickled you ceaselessly when you’d beat them at a game. You’d developed a rapport with Namjoon and Yoongi, you enjoyed listening to them whenever they had something to say and you were flattered when they took your opinions and suggestions seriously. 

Slowly and surely they’d trusted you with all their secrets, allowing you into their private life as you and Hoseok’s relationship had deepened. So it really came as shock to you when one day you’d snapped at Namjoon when he’d come to you asking advice regarding the girl he’d been dating. It hadn’t been your finest moment and for a while it had mired your bond with the boys in confusion and uncertainty. Especially when Namjoon had broken up with the girl the very next day. 

The real shocker came when Jeongguk kissed you full on the mouth in the presence of Hoseok. And your boyfriend did not seem to mind at all! Gradually the boys’ handsiness had grown into full-blown PDA. They kissed you, pulled you into their lap during movie nights, back hugs became commonplace. Taehyung even loved to warm his hands against your bare waist, sneaking them inside your shirts whenever he could. Before your moral compass went haywire with guilt you had sat all of them down and talked about the nature of your relationship. 

Communication was always key. Hoseok had initially been unsure of the mere idea of sharing you but you’d assured him that you would never go ahead with it if he wasn’t onboard. But the fact was, you’d fallen in love with the rest of the boys too. And he could see that as well. 

You still wonder sometimes, if he’d said yes only because he risked losing you otherwise. You wouldn’t have been able to handle secretly pining for the other boys if he’d said no. 

As you displayed your id to the guard at front, you wondered if he’d really forgotten that today was your anniversary. It seemed like it.  Why would he accept an invitation to go out tonight of all nights if he didn’t? Should you remind him? Or maybe it just wasn’t as big of a deal as you were making it out to be. 

You didn’t know what to do, all you knew was that today was a shit day. And with that thought, you entered the spacious conference room converted into a studio for the photoshoot. Namjoon had told you that it was for this years season’s greetings. 

From the soft mood lightings against the panel of wall to wall windows spanning one side of the room and the light coloured casual clothing that hung from the racks pushed to the corners, you deduced that they were going for a soft, boyfriend look this time. 

You snorted. How ironic they’d sell such a concept to their fans when all seven of them were taken at the same time. By the same person. 

The familiar faces of the co-ordis greeted you as you moved in, and you murmured a soft good morning to them. “Where are they?”, you asked, looking around.

Solji, one of the older stylists, answered you with a smile. “You’re a little early. They’ll be here soon.”

“Great. I’ll set up somewhere out of your way then.” You returned her smile, she was your favourite out of all the staff, always friendly and understanding. 

Speaking of the staff, your eyes caught a new face flitting among the familiar ones when you scanned the room for a place to sit. You nudged Solji. “Is she new?”, you asked, flicking your chin towards the blonde girl assisting the hairstylist in pulling out all kinds of products from a bag.

Solji nodded. “Miso. She’s a temp. We fell short on hands when Hyoyeon took her maternity leave. Most likely will become permanent if she’s good.”

You frowned. “Does she know about me?”

The staff were well informed about your relationship with Bangtan, the Non Disclosure Agreement they signed when they were hired prevented them from going to the media with any kind of private details about the boys, lest they be sued for their weight in gold. But it always caused you anxiety when a new staff member got to know about you. More so when they got to know you were dating all of them. 

“Yes. I informed her myself. She was surprised, to say the least.”

“Everyone is.” Your mom’s sneer came to mind suddenly, but you pushed it away. Patting Solji’s arm, you said, “Time for me to catch up on my studies I guess.”

Spying a small love seat in one corner of the big room you headed towards it. Picking up the empty make up containers strewn over it, you placed them carefully on the carpeted floor instead. Perching yourself on the seat, you pulled open your handbag, pulling out your laptop and the textbook you and Namjoon had been pouring over last night. 

This is what you did when they asked you over on a photoshoot, or vocal practice or dress fittings. Watching them from a corner while trying to get some work done. But mostly just gazing at them go about their way from your front row perch, hearts in your eyes. 

You’d only just begun reading when the sound of their laughter reached your ears. Looking up eagerly, you promptly forgot your work. Yoongi was already headed towards you, looking downright sinful in a white Supreme hoodie, jeans and converse. Did he even need to change? This was boyfriend look right here. 

“My little bird’s already hard at work I see.” He bent to give you a heart stopping kiss, his hand cupping your nape in a proprietary gesture. “How am I gonna focus on the shoot with you looking so gorgeous today, hmm? Maybe we can convince the photographer to take your pictures instead.”

Oh, flirty Yoongi was in the house today. 

“I don’t think your fans would like that.” You bit his lip, not even trying to resist the temptation right before your eyes. 

Another deep kiss. “Their loss.”

“Hyung, Solji noona is calling you.”, a cheerful Taehyung said from behind Yoongi. 

The elder straightened up with a scowl. “Really? You’ll get a knuckle sandwich if you’re lying.”

“I’m not.”, he exclaimed, jerking a thumb behind him. “Go ask her yourself.”

As Yoongi left while muttering something under his breath, Taehyung sprawled himself on the love seat beside you. “I lied.”

You nodded. “Of course you did.”

The shout of “Tae you motherfucker!” could be heard as the subject of the loud curse brushed some stray hair behind your ears, an unbothered boxy smile directed at you as he asked, “So __, I heard Hobi hyung won’t be spending the night with you. This must come as a shock because I’m a busy man,” he polished his nails on the lapels of the Gucci coat he had on, before inspecting them like they were the singular most interesting thing, “but did you know I’m completely free tonight?”

You smiled at his attempt at nonchalance but your heart ached at the reminder. Looking towards Hoseok, you found him and the boys surrounded by the styling team. When Hoseok caught you looking, he grinned wide, moving to make his way to you. 

A small hand on his shoulder stopped him in his path. The new temp Miso held up a shirt to his torso, looking up at him with a smile as she said something you couldn’t quite hear. You saw Hoseok nod and reply to her, all plans of coming to you forgotten. 

“Is there trouble in paradise?”, Taehyung guessed, looking at his hyung then at you then back to his hyung like a ping pong ball. 

Halting his swivelling head by placing a palm on his cheek, you pouted, “Tae, do you know what today is?”

A scared look came over his face. “Oh shit, did I forget your birthday or something?”

You scowled. “No. It’s me and Hoseok’s one year anniversary. It’s the day I first met him. And he doesn’t remember.”

“Oh.” Then a strange look came over his face, somewhere between constipation and indigestion. He was hiding something. “Oh.”

“What are you ohing about?”, you asked curtly, your curiosity growing. “And why are you making that face?”

“What face?”, he squeaked, getting up from the chair in a flash. “Oh looky there, Solji noona is calling me.”

“Wait!” But he was already hightailing it out of there. “Tae you motherf—ugh!”

For the next hour you watched them from your corner seat as they went through multiple outfit changes and all different kinds of poses against the strategically placed props near the windows. The soft sunlight filtering in provided a natural lighting and their beautiful features seemed to glow from within because of the luminescent makeup they wore. All in all it was a mesmerising affair, they looked like angels. 

And throughout it all instead of focusing on getting some work done your gaze slipped to Hoseok again and again. All of the boys had come to sit beside you at one point or the other, except him. But it wasn’t for lack of trying. 

The pencil in your grip almost snapped to half when you saw the new hire, Miso, bend down to whisper something in his ear as she messed with his already perfect hair. One of her hands landed on his shoulder and you could swear she was caressing him. 

For his part, he rested his head on the back of the chair, eyes closed and barely giving her one word answers. But that did nothing to quell the embers of jealousy burning inside you. Solji had said that the new girl knew about you. You did not want to interfere in their work but if she continued feeling up your boyfriend...

You almost catapulted out of your chair when you saw her brush her ample chest against his arm whilst pretending to pick something up from the floor. 

But luckily Namjoon made his way to you at the same time, saving you from smacking a bitch into next week. 

“I’m sorry about your scarf, doll. I put it in the laundry for you.” He smiled, cheeks dimpling deeply, as if he expected a pat on the back for managing such a feat.

Reluctantly you looked away from Hoseok and the snake coiling herself around him, giving Joon a half hearted smile. “Thank you, baby.”

The dimples disappeared. “Is something wrong?”

The sincere worry in his eyes was all it took for your composure to shatter. The past few days, your mother’s visit,  Hoseok’s forgetfulness, your own insecurities and now the bitch a few feet away from you. 

With a pathetic whine you launched yourself into the leader’s lap, situating yourself between his thighs and wrapping your arms around him. Your face fit perfectly in the space between his shoulder and neck. You didn’t care if you were ruining his carefully put together outfit or the fact that you were in a room full of people. 

Thankfully Namjoon didn’t care either, he immediately pulled you close, bending down to kiss your nose affectionately. 

“Doll?”, was all he said in his soft, deep, ever understanding voice and everything you’d been bottling up came hurtling out in a hiccupy word vomit. By the time you were finished tears were running down your face and you turned to hide into his chest so nobody else could see you breaking down. 

“Aah your mother is wrong, so so wrong. You’re our centre, the best thing that ever happened to us.” Sighing, he rubbed your back. “But I understand where she’s coming from. If it were my daughter I’d be sceptical too. We’ll just have to convince her that we love you more than anything in the world.”

“She doesn’t want to meet you guys.”, you murmured against his chest, wiping your nose on his expensive designer shirt. 

He didn’t seem to mind, brushing away your tears with his shirt sleeve himself. Solji was going to kill you both. 

“I’m sure we can change her mind.” Namjoon nudged your chin up till he was gazing into your eyes. “As for Hoseok, don’t you dare doubt his love for you. He worships the ground you walk on.”

“Is that why he forgot our anniversary?”

Namjoon evaded your eyes. “Doll...”

“And why isn’t he pushing away that new temp?”

“Huh?” Confused, he looked up in the direction of the man in question. 

“Forget it. Do I even have any right to be jealous when it comes to you guys?”, you questioned softly to yourself. Something you’d been wondering about for a while. “I mean there’s one of me and seven of you. You don’t get jealous when I’m with Jimin or Yoongi. Why should I be jealous if you guys show interest in other girls, right?”

That snapped his attention back to you, and what you saw in his eyes made you shrink in on yourself. He was angry, furious even. He grabbed your jaw, made sure your eyes didn’t stray from him.

“Of the most ridiculous nonsense you could come up with, I never imagined you’d be questioning our loyalty to you.”, he said through his teeth. “Firstly, we have no fucking interest in dating another girl, get that through your thick head. Second, we don’t get jealous of each other but you very well know we can’t stand anyone else putting their hands on you. Thirdly,” he paused, taking a deep breath. “I can’t say for other guys but I love it when you get jealous.”

“What?”, you breathed.

Sheepishly, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you remember when I came to you asking for dating advice before you’d agreed to be with all of us? When you were only Hoseok’s girlfriend.”

“I do.” You were just reminiscing about your early days with the boys a few hours ago. 

“I didn’t really want your advice, I suspected you liked me too and I just wanted to get a rise out of you.”

You stared at him. “Is that why you broke up with the girl the next day?”

“Hehe.”, he laughed nervously. “I wasn’t dating anybody in the first place. I only wanted to be with you.”

Your jaw dropped. 

Solji’s voice cut through your intimate bubble then. “Namjoon, you’re up.”

“Time to get scolded for ruining my shirt.” He picked you up and set you on the cushions like you weighed nothing. 

“I’m sorry about that.” Glancing at the wetness that covered his front from your tears and snot, you winced. 

“I drooled on your scarf, you cried on my shirt. We’re a match made in heaven, babe.”, he said, a shit eating grin on his face. 

“You’re so cheesy.” You threw a cushion at his face. 

He flicked it away with a swat. “You’ve been sitting here for hours, you should stretch your legs. I have that SourPunk string candy you like so much in the drawer beneath my computer. Go get some.”

“Really?!” You jumped up at once. “It’s my favourite.”

“I know.” He left after giving you an indulgent smile, though you heard him mutter under his breath “it tastes like satan’s ass” before he was out of earshot. 

Ignoring him, you happily made your way out of the huge room, heading straight for Namjoon’s studio on the third floor. There was a spring in your step. Not surprisingly talking to the leader had put some sense back into you, he’d Expecto Petronumed your insecurities like they were dementors. For now at least, you were sure they’d rear their ugly head again in the future like a chronic disease. 

Striding down the hallway cheerfully, you did not expect a hand to shoot out of a door. You shrieked like a banshee when the hand clutched your arm, hauling you inside before slamming the door close. 

“What the—“, your shout was cut off by Hoseok’s hand over your mouth. 

“It’s me, __. Don’t scream.”

Narrowing your eyes, you licked his palm. 

“Aah!” He snatched it back, face scrunching. “What was that for?”

“For ignoring me all day. And scaring me just now.”

“Ignoring you?” He scoffed. “Fuck no. I don’t do childish stuff like that. I’m not Yoongi hyung.”

“I’m going to tell him you said that.”

Hoseok’s glare turned into a confused frown when he saw your face clearly, the dim lighting not helping his vision. “Were you crying?”

Flinching, you spoke sharply, “No.”

The frown didn’t abate. “__, I swear I wasn’t ignoring you.”

“That’s not why I was crying.”

“So you were crying.” He raised his brows, daring you to deny it. His eyes softened when you looked away instead. 

“Hey baby, I’m sorry.”, he murmured in your ear, his hands finding purchase on your waist. He nudged your face toward his, nuzzling you softly. “Whatever I did I’m so sorry.”

Melting in his arms, you allowed him to pull you close. “You don’t even know what you’re apologising for.”

Placing a hand on the side of your neck, a thumb at your chin pulled your mouth open. “It doesn’t matter. I hate seeing you upset.” 

He kissed your open mouth, his tongue immediately finding yours. The taste of him made you moan, coffee and the sugar coated lemon drops he loved so much. It was a strange but delectable combination. 

As you sucked on his tongue, his hands dropped to work on the buttons of your blouse. You pulled away for a second to ask, “We’re really doing this here? Right now?”

“Not we.” Pushing your blouse and bra out of the way, he freed one breast for his hungry mouth.

“I just want to make you feel good.”, he breathed against your nipple before taking the cold, hardened bud between his warm lips. 

Head thumping back against the door, you clutched him to your chest. “Hobi, oh my god!”

Taking your sensitive nipple between his teeth, he pulled, making a jolt of arousal go straight to your core. He chuckled as a moan tore from you. “I haven’t even started and you’re already invoking god. You won’t be able to keep quiet, would you? Do you want everyone to know your boyfriend’s worshipping you?”

Pulling him up for another messy kiss, you confessed against his lips. “Yes. I want everyone to know that you belong to me.”

Something primal and unrestrained entered his eyes, and you almost regretted your words for a second. With a swiftness that defied gravity, he picked you up and strode to a nearby table. After clearing the surface with a sweep of his hand, he placed you gingerly on top. The clink and clatter of jewellery and other accessories hitting the floor echoed in the room, but you only had eyes and ears for Hoseok. 

“Be careful what you ask for, __.” 

What had you unleashed? 

He made swift work of your jeans till you were clad only in your blouse and soaking wet panties. 

“Look at that, you’ve already made a mess.” Cupping your crotch, he stroked your clothed labia slowly, smirking when you swivelled your hips for more. “How badly do you want me to eat you out, __? Tell me and I might let you have my tongue.” 

You wanted him too much to care about how desperate you sounded. “So bad. Please! I want your tongue on my pussy.” 

“What my baby wants, she gets.” He dropped to his knees between your spread legs, pushing at the back of your thighs to expose your genitals in the most lewd way possible. Pushing aside your soaked panties, he dove in with fervour like he was about to devour the most scrumptious meal ever. 

The first flick of his tongue on your clit had you gnashing your teeth and fisting his thick, soft hair. From previous experience you knew that receiving oral sex from him meant that he was going to put all your vibrators to shame. 

And sure enough, the speed of his tongue on your clit blew your mind, as did the currents of pleasure coursing through you. How he was able to move his tongue so fast, you had no fucking clue. Pausing in his expert assault, he took the already quivering bundle in his mouth to suck, simultaneously thrusting two fingers deep in your slick channel. 

“Hobi! Fuck! Umfh..” That was all you could manage till he found the soft spongy spot on your inner walls, pressing on it in tandem with his licks on your clit. Most of the sounds that came out of your mouth were incoherent shouts and half pleas. 

Hoseok’s eyes met yours over the expanse of your tummy and you could tell he was internally laughing as you dissolved into a mindless being intent on reaching your climax. “Hobi please make me cum!”

The bastard pulled his sinful mouth away from your cunt instead. “What was that?”

“Aagh!”, you yelled in frustration. “Put that tongue back on my fucking clit!”

He pouted, his cheeks glistening from your juices. “Is that any way to speak to your boyfriend?”

“Hobi.”, you cried, about to burst into frustrated tears literally. “Please!”

Grinning, he dove back down. “Now was that so hard?”

This time he pulled his fingers out of your entrance to rub slick circles on your nub instead. His mouth tasted a path down your inner labia before tonguing your clenching, empty hole. 

“Hoseok, don’t tease me.”, you begged. 

Taking mercy on you, he thrust his tongue deep inside. The fingers playing your clit like a fiddle doubled their strokes.

“Fuck yes!”, you screamed. 

His tongue inside your pussy mimicked his dick thrusting in and out, your pussy trying to grip the muscle everytime he pulled it back out. You could come just from him tongue fucking you. 

“Hoseok don’t stop! Please don’t stop!”

He stopped. Pulling away once again. 

“What?!”, you shrieaked, your orgasm slipping away from your grasp. Frustrated tears did, in fact, make their way down your cheeks this time. 

“Your pussy tastes like fucking ambrosia, __.”, he groaned, licking his lips. “But I wanna have a taste of something else too.”

Frowning, you half sobbed, half moaned, “What?”

He smirked. “Let’s see if you can come from having your ass eaten.”

The shudder that went through you at his words was overshadowed by pleasure when he licked down your pussy, giving a fluttering peck to your neglected entrance before venturing further south. Your perineum received a wet, open mouthed kiss and a nuzzle. 

“Hold your legs for me, baby.”, he commanded softly, his breath tingling both your holes. 

Snaking your arms around the back of your thighs, you pulled your legs up and away. You were nervous but excited, none of the other boys had rimmed you before. “Hobi, please hurry.”

A nip on your buttcheek made you yelp. “Don’t rush me. I’m going to enjoy this.”

Kneading your buttocks in his palms, he pulled them apart, a butterfly kiss to your asshole followed. Then he laved the puckered hole, making you gasp at the unfamiliar sensation. 

“Oh.”, you breathed. “That feels so good.”

You felt him smile. Another light kiss on your rim, then his tongue explored. Circling your asshole and probing at your forbidden entrance till you clenched at the foreign feeling with a groan. 

He tsked, clearly disapproving. “Don’t tense up, baby. Open up to me. I love this cute little hole.”

At his urging you relaxed and he began eating your hole with the same enthusiasm as he had your pussy. When his hand slid up to tease your clit once again, your arms gave from beneath you and you thumped on the table, arching your back from the insurmountable pleasure he was giving you. 

He was right. You could cum from having your asshole stimulated. The release that had slipped away earlier came hurtling back like a train wreck, with double the force. 

Stiffening his tongue, he pushed it up your anus as far as it would go. 

 “Fuck!”, you cursed at the intrusion. 

In your endorphin hazed brain, you registered a noise outside the door that sounded like Hoseok’s name. You ignored it at first, the dancer between your legs making you feel too good to care about anyone barging in. 

But then the hesitant voice grew louder. “Hoseok-ssi. It’s Miso, are you in there?”

At first sheer fury coursed through you. And then you smirked. 

“Hobi!” Your voice was so loud the man in question paused in his ministrations for a second. “Don’t stop! You eat my ass so good!”

With a shrug, he happily continued, circling your clit with his fingers just the way you liked it. 

“Oh fuck yes!” Though your volume was exaggerated, you could feel yourself get closer and closer to the precipice. 

This time you didn’t hear the squeak and the rush of footsteps disappearing outside, the blood rushing in your ears drowning out everything else. 

“Baby I’m so close.”

“Cum then. Let me see your pretty pussy cum.”, he growled, increasing the torture on the bundle of nerves he was assaulting with his fingers. 

When you came, everything went white for a second. The scream of his name was so loud, you were sure the whole building heard you climaxing. The seizure like shudders that racked you had you closing your legs and pulling away his hands because of oversensitivity.

Panting on the table, you flopped on your side to calm down. Hoseok bent over you to caress your hair. 

“Are you alright, baby? Did I overdo it?” 

Shaking your head, you got up to wrap your arms around his shoulders. “No. You are amazing. Your mouth is amazing.”

You tried to pull him down for a kiss but he turned his face away at the last second. “I just had my tongue up your ass, babe. Do you really wanna kiss me?”

“Shut up.” You gave him a deep, sloppy kiss. 

~.~.~

The crew and staff were packing up when you got back to the room after cleaning yourself up in the bathroom. So you headed straight to get your things as well. 

You found Jimin seated at the love seat, idly going through your textbook. 

You smiled at the adorable furrow of concentration between his brows. “You into history now, Chim?”

Jimin hummed, flipping the book shut before looking up at you. “No, but I heard you’re into rimming.”

Cheeks going tomato red, you stuttered, “D-did you—”

“Yeah. You were very loud.”

Groaning you buried your face in your hands. What felt like a good idea at the time, made you shrivel up in mortification now. 

Jimin got up to pull your hands away, giving you an eye smile of reassurance. “Don’t. I loved that you were so loud. I got to know that assplay is not a hard limit for you.”

You gulped. “Jimin.”

He gave you that predatory look, the one he used only in the bedroom, making you shiver. In fear or anticipation, you didn’t know. “Make sure you’re free next Monday.”

 Before you could reply, he picked up your bag, placing your book and laptop inside. “Now. Let’s get you home.”

Glancing around, you found the room almost empty. “Where’s everybody?”

Jimin took your hand, interlacing your fingers. “They’re already in the car. Let’s go.”

The driver held open the door of the Escalade when you two arrived outside. You slid in first, immediately snuggling up against Jeongguk who was seated near the other window. Jimin got in behind you.

Yoongi was up front, with Namjoon, Jin and Taehyung making up the back.

“Where’s Hoseok?”, you asked as the car pulled away from the curb. 

Jin answered you. “He was invited over for drinks remember.”

“Oh.” You remembered. But you’d forgotten to remind him of the anniversary, too preoccupied with his tempting mouth. 

“What’s the matter, __?” Came Taehyung’s sly voice. You glanced at the rearview mirror to see him grinning. When his eyes met yours, the grin vanished in a flash.

You narrowed your eyes, Taehyung’s earlier werid behaviour coming to mind. “Nothing.”

The rest of the ride passed by in relative quiet. Only Jeongguk’s voice telling you about his recent trip back to Busan filled the car. You listened with your head on his shoulder, though your mind was adrift. 

You did not fancy the idea of sleeping alone in a cold bed, one of the boys’ constant warmth against you throughout your nights had spoiled you. You were just about to take Taehyung up on his earlier offer to spend the night with him when the car stopped suddenly. 

Confused, you sat up straight. It usually took twenty minutes to get to the boys’ dorm, thirty minutes to get to your apartment. It had barely been ten. “What is it? Why did we stop?”

Yoongi turned from his seat to look at you with a fond smile. “Your stop’s here, __.”

“What?” You frowned when Jimin got out of the car, holding out his hand for you to take. 

“Just trust us.”, Jeongguk whispered next to you. 

With a deep breath you took Jimin’s proffered hand, getting out of the car in the middle of the street. 

“What if someone sees us?”, you asked, scared someone might click pictures of you two together. “Where are we?”

Jimin shook his head, turning you toward the footpath on the side of the road. “You know where we are.”

When your eyes left his to glance around, your breath caught. Because you did know where you were. 

The lights inside the old bookstore you worked at illuminated your surroundings. Taking a step forward in amazement, you peered up at the two story building, the grey stucco walls of the exterior filling you with nostalgia. After you’d moved into your new apartment almost a year ago, the bookstore became too far out of your way for you commute to daily. You’d also gotten a better paying job working at a cafe. But you’d always missed the quiet of this store, the hundreds of books at your disposal that you had loved to explore. The cafe was too loud, boisterous and hectic in comparison. 

A throat cleared behind you and you turned to find Hoseok gazing at you from above the mask he had donned. The car and the rest of the boys were gone. 

“Did you really think I’d forget, baby?”

Elation surged through you and you barely restrained the sappy tears that threatened to overflow. He held out his arms and you launched yourself at him, making him laugh. 

“So that text was a lie?”

“Hmm.”, he hummed against your hair, pecking your forehead. “They did invite me to hang out but I had to politely reject.”

Hoseok wrapped an arm around your waist. “We should go in. Someone might recognise me out here even with the mask.”

Frowning, you let him lead you towards the front entrance. “Umm, are you sure? Do you wanna pick up a book or something? The lady who owns this building won’t like us having a date in her bookstore.”

Hoseok opened the door, ushering you in. The store was unsurprisingly empty, but you frowned when you saw nobody manning the cash register. 

“The lady who owns this store loves me. So I think we’re good.”

Your head snapped back to him. “Who?”

He pursed his lips, clearly suppressing his amusement. Fishing for something in his pocket, he held your hand out, palm side up. 

“You.” Two keys on a Superman keyring dropped on your palm. 

For a minute you stared at it dumbfounded, not comprehending him. But he spoke before you could bombard him with questions. 

“I bought this whole building in your name. It’s yours.” He closed your fingers around the keys. 

Blinking up at him, you swallowed at the resurgence of emotion within you. “I-umm”, you looked away. “Hoseok I don’t know what to say. It must have cost a fortune. I can’t accept this.”

“Of course you can.”, he replied breezily, pulling your chin to make you look at him again. “I know you don’t like working at the cafe. They pay you peanuts there anyway. Now you don’t have to. The earnings from this store will be more than enough for your rent, tuition, bills and everything else.”

“I-I don’t know.” The part of you that wanted to earn everything you received rebelled at taking such an expensive gift. 

“I knew you would be stubborn.”, Hoseok sighed as if pained he was having to say this. “If you want, you can pay me back on your own time, okay.”

Cracking a smile, you gave him a knowing look. “You and I both know you’re not gonna accept a penny from me.”

He gave you a “duh” look. “ See, you’re smart. Now be a good girl and just tell me you love me.” 

You laughed. “Fine. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Cupping your cheeks, he kissed you like he meant it. “Now shall we christen this place?”

“Hobi!”

“What?”, he whined. “The first time we met I wanted to bend you over that table and fuck all the sass out of you.”

Glancing behind you at the old desk and chair you used to spend most of your shift at, you smirked. 

Sliding out of his arms, you made your way to the table, swinging your hips just right. When you reached it you placed your elbows on the surface, bending at the waist to wiggle your butt. 

“Come get me, Superman.”

Hoseok groaned, stalking toward you like a tiger on the hunt. 

A “whooo” escaped you when he gripped your jeans and panties to slide them down in one fell swoop, the garments tangled at your knees. 

“I’ve been hard ever since I got the first taste   of your pussy. I need it rough and fast this time baby.”, he growled, stroking your pussy before sliding two fingers inside. They slid in without any resistance. “Shit you’re so fucking wet.”

“You ate me out so good, I’m still dripping.”, you moaned as he wedged another finger inside your slick entrance. “Use me, Hobi.”

“Fuck.” You heard the clank of his belt and his zipper going down. He gripped his rock hard length to rub the engorged cock head up and down your slit, spreading his pre-cum and your juices everywhere. 

“Put it in.”, you moaned, still oversensitive from earlier. Your battered clit pulsed like a mini heartbeat and from the way Hoseok’s grip tightened on your buttocks, his nails digging in, you knew you were going to be sore after he was done with you. 

Positioning his cock at your hole, he buried himself to the hilt inside you with one hard thrust of his dancer hips. The force jerked you up the table, your hands flailing for purchase. 

“Oh.” You felt full, so deliciously and utterly stuffed. “Fuck, you’re so big.”

Hoseok paused, letting you adjust and bringing his instincts under control. He did not want to hurt you. “You always take me so well. So fucking tight and warm.”

“Move, Hobi.”, you moaned after a second. “I’m ready.”

He set a punishing pace from the start. Clutching your hips in his hands he slammed you down on his dick as his hips surged upward in thrust after thrust. The slapping sound of skin against skin resounded throughout the store. You still had a hard time believing you were fucking in your old bookstore. 

Oh, how far you’d come. From reading smut on this very table to fucking your boyfriend over it. 

“I want to hear you, __. Don’t hold back.”, he hissed through his teeth, his hand snaking down to abuse your already sensitive clit some more.

“Shit shit! Oh my god.” Too much sensation assaulted you.

“Fuck, your pussy is squeezing my dick so good.” Hoseok adjusted his position, his length penetrating even deeper inside you. The speed of his pistoning hips doubled, if that was even possible. The table beneath you inched forward against the floor with his every harsh thrust. 

Your eyes rolled back in your head. This was the definition of a quick, rough fuck. The semi public nature of it shooting a thrill down your spine. The sign at the front said open, anybody could walk in any moment. Moreover though the desk of the cashier was placed sideways, if one wanted to peer inside the windows, they would definitely get an eyeful. 

The idea that someone could be watching you get your brains fucked out, made you even more wanton. Meeting Hoseok thrust for thrust, you reached back to pull his head down to your mouth, the difficult position and the hard slams of his dick inside you meant that you kissed not just his mouth but also his chin, nose and cheeks.

Hoseok laughed. “You’re so cute when you’re desperate, baby.” 

“Don’t call me desperate.”, you whined, biting his chin. “Also please make me cum.”

“Whatever you say.”

He looked entirely too pleased with himself, so you clenched your pelvic muscles till your pussy gripped his cock so tight. 

His thrusts faltered. “Shit baby.”, he groaned. “Of course you’re not desperate. I’m the one who’s desperate.” 

“Better.”

At that Hoseok hauled you up by your arms, circling his hands around your torso to hold you up. The upright position against the table forced him even deeper. He angled his hips just right, the tip of his cock hitting your g-spot every time he drove inside you, coiling that impeding pressure in your belly more and more. 

“Are you close?”, he panted against your ear, his finger returning to circle your clit. 

“So close.” Gasping, you tilted your head when he bit the crook of your neck. “Just keep fucking me like that.”

The lewd noises of your love making echoed throughout the room, the rough slaps of skin, the incoherent moans, the table shaking beneath you. His thrusts didn’t relent one bit, battering your pussy till you felt that tingle in your spine building and building. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He cursed a storm, his nails digging crescents into your hips. Your walls clenched around his thick length desperately, the friction of him moving in and out too much for you. 

“I’m cumming, Hobi! Shit, I’m cumming!”, you screamed, just as he circled your clit roughly one last time, pushing you over the edge. 

“Oh my god!” Your second orgasm of the day was just as powerful as the first one, leaving you a barely conscious mess as tsunami waves of pleasure spread like currents through your every nerve ending. 

With you reaching your end, Hoseok fucked you like you were a blowup doll, with the sole purpose of reaching his own climax. He used your poor pussy, thrusting inside with supersonic speed. You clenched around him to help him along. 

“Shit __!” With a shout of your name he buried himself deep inside you, thick jets of his warm cum painting your inner walls white.  After you’d milked him of everything he had to give, he dropped down over you like a sack of potatoes. 

“That was amazing.”, you breathed beneath him. 

“Yeah.”, he panted. Apparently that was all he was capable of enunciating. Both of you caught your breathing, your thundering hearts slowing to a gallop. Hoseok nuzzled your neck like he wanted to burrow himself within you. You chuckled at his neediness.  

Once you’d both calmed down, he got up, taking you with him. After turning you around, he knelt before you. For a second he just watched his cum dribbling down the inside of your thigh, before placing a feather light kiss on your mound, as if apologising to your sore vagina. He pulled up your panties and jeans, fastening the fly. 

Eyes softening, you stroked his hair back from his face, gazing down at him with a smitten look on your face. “I love you.”

He was whipped for you as well. Taking your hand he placed a kiss on the inside of your palm. “I love you too.”

Frowning, you looked out the window. “What if someone saw us having sex?”

Chuckling, he got up off the floor. “Then I hope they enjoyed the show.”

#bts fic #bts smut #bts scenarios #bts fluff #Hoseok smut #bts angst #wednesday #7 days a week series #part 2

[writtenaboutshinee]

SHINee for COOL, September 2008

Repost from shineeinterviews who originally reposted it from shineee.net

.

20 facts of ONEW

1. Nicknamed “tofu”. “Pure tofu”, “ondubu”, they all refer to him. Uses the introduction “I am only~you~ Onew” taught to him by Leeteuk and at times, switches to “Hello, my name is Michael Jackson(sincerely)!”

2. Feels shy about presenting himself to people, and because of it, he did not dare to participate in auditions. When he was a trainee, everyone else seems to be improving everyday, while he seems to be staying stagnant and not improving, that to him is the saddest period of his life up till now.

3. When performing on stage for the first time, he could not see anything in front of him, and even forgot the lyrics before going up on stage. But he thought of his parents who were sitting in front of the stage, he thought “Yes, I must look for them”, and thus calmed down gradually.

4. The Leader who commits the most mistakes during practices; the Leader who feels respoonsible for the group and solves problem, the Leader who will just zone out from time to time, the Leader who still stays strong despite sporting swollen, red eyes under the glaring lights, the Leader who cries in the car secretly after getting injured.

5. “Rather than saying that I use certain methods to make the sunbaes like me, I am just working hard to be respectful.” It is this thought that accompanies the 90 degree bow everytime.

6. Infamous NG King. “You just cannot not NG can’t you!” (KEY)

7. “Honestly, amongst all of the SHINee members, in the terms of looks, physique, expression…and everything is charismatic and the only phrase to describe the person is ‘near perfection’, that member is – ME!”

8. Good in studying, was second in the entire school before. To him, it’s nothing to be very proud of, because everyone has their own strengths that is irreplaceable by others, isn’t it more important to discover that strength and make use of it?

9. Because he got curious after hearing that “if there is something heavy on your chest, your thoughts will become heavy too, and you will experience illusions”, so he went went to sleep hugging a box, hoping to enter a land of illusions but nothing happened…

10. Looks gentle and quiet, but is very ambitious at attempting to be humourous, is always very enthusiastic about trying various methods to hype up the atmosphere behind the scenes. Also possesses the ability to freeze the atmosphere with whatever he says, but there are just once or twice a year when people do feel that he is funny.

11. 'What should you do if you are a victim of the SHINee poison?’ “ …Go to the hospital for cure! (innocently, seriously)

12. Can be quite blur at times. "Our album will be released in May (firmly) …. It’s already August now?! ….Oh then it should be in September…Ah (manager glares at him) No no, it’s in August, end of August…”

13. His idea type is something who has character, good personality, is responsible, knows how to cook, looks good in appearance, the hands must be especially pretty, and the most important aspect – it must be a noona!

14. If met with unbearable situations, changes mindset from “I have to do ____ before its fine?” to “It’s just doing _____ then it will be alright” and it will work. Be it heaven or hell, what matters is how you view it.

15. Tied his hair with the filigree(the golden strip thing) used to package bread, that was when he was really young, and had really long hair…

16. Strong at adapting, when dressing up as a girl for the first time, he felt fascinated and awkward, but after awhile he was able to start dancing sexy dances. If he does changes into a girl? He would probably date Key. Unique, strong personality, very interesting, just like his cup of tea.

17. Does not hide his worry about the possibility of him commiting mistakes because he is does not feel capable of it. “Can I do it well?”, “Will it be safe?”, “Will I get into trouble?”, whatever comes to mind he will voice it out, and after that, will feel more daring to continue on.

18. Suffers from the “Floudering about” syndrome, will sink into a state of baffling nervousness whenever he does not know how to answer something. When it comes to handling the direction of a conversation, it will be fine if he is not nevous, but once he ends up panicking, he will want to shout “umma”.

19. Will wake up early to make roast meat for Taemin, but sleep is also very important, must have a good sleep, eat well and abstain from unhealthy snacks – how else to maintain such a good complexion?

20. The most memorable present. the most treasured present, the happiest present received: Everyone’s love. How about using this year’s Newcomer Award to repay that? That is a precious gift that can only received once in a lifetime, want to receive it, and then…Hehe, not telling you! …Did I say that?…Eh….

Matters needing attention: Onew condition: Turning quiet suddenly, not talking to anyone, just sitting there in a daze; committing mistakes in most unlikely and unexpected situations, it is fine that others are baffled and fascinated by it but the main thing is that he does not even know why, muddles up from time to time, for details refer to point 12 above. If any of the above mentioned is committed, it is termed the “Onew condition”.

The X catalyst: Forcefully trying to bring him back into the reality world; questions why he commits such a baffling mistake; and reasoning with him.

The O catalyst: Wait for him to return to earth; laugh along with him. If he falls or trips, silently observe if he is trying to conceal his pain and divert other’s attention from his injury with his smile; take what he says as the final say, do not take it too seriously, since most of the time he commits blunders on what everyone else already know, even if he does not correct it, you will already know the right answer…

20 facts of TAEMIN

1. Must never forget to smile.

2. Carries a bag containing a lot of sweets around, all with a SHINee logo attached on it. Will give out these sweets whenever he sees noonas.

3. Has been said by many that he is good at aegyo, but will in actualy face, use half aegyo and half forcing to get what he wants, for example, mumbles “I want to be a director too” constantly while using his butt to push others.

4. Has been said that he is cute too many times, but “does not want others to say that I am cute”.

5. When first debuted, is used to blinking a lot when speaking, it is a lot better now, but somehow it has become a hot topic after Key umma has imitated it.

6. Will run around the practise room with a bottle/packet of milk in his mouth, spends a lot of time in the waiting room studying and rushing his holiday assignments and preparing for exams.

7. Being on stage is something to be enjoyed, and dance is the what makes him derives the most joy from. The title is just to attraction people to watch, you should only believe in what you see.

8. His dancing ability has been widely recognised, but do you know that his rap is pretty MAN too? Go listen to “Love should go on”.

9.Do not think that he is a child with a huge generation gap between the two of you, he idolises “MJ” and also likes to imitate Seo Taiji – “I don’t know anything!”

10. “I really don’t know anything!” (catchphrase)

11. Can transform an ardent swordsman into a kawaii youth, and can change the action of pulling out a sword to just raising a fire torch.

12. “When I first saw Taemin, I thought he was really pretty. At that time there was a trainee noona in front of him, and Taemin was even prettier than her.” (EUNHYUK)

13. Does not feel that he has a talent that can matches up to Onew, but if he were to do it(Onew’s talent)…he can do it too!

14. A very obedient child, even if he is asked to sit on someone’s lap, or getting hugged or being lifted up on someone’s shoulder, he does not object. He’s so young that the sunbaes find it hard to see him as a rising artiste who is catching up with them, but he is beginning to present a star’s disposition.

15. Knows how to play, and will play. A finger and a camera. that’s his best friend.

16. “Hyung, do you know what is love?” (to the rest of members)

17. “If I am a girl, I will choose to date Minho, because he is Flaming Charisma!”

18. “In the show, Yunhanam, the person who is the best at making a girl happy is Taemin.” (KEY) But he is still at a stage when he is more enthusiastic of dogs than girls.

19. If there is true love involved, how can age be limiting, isn’t there a guy who married a really old grandmother?

20. Has the care and concern of the hyungs, the love and care of the noonas, it’s really nice. If only he can see his family more…Hyung, saranghae…

Matters needing attention: Competitve: You can treat him as a exclusive young man but in front of him, you better see him as a man at heart.

The X catalyst: “Taemin ah, you go and do _____ k – You are the youngest!”

The O catalyst: Chant silently “He is a man! Do not be charmed by his smile! Do not be fooled by his baby face!” Hypnosis, the effect is threefold.

20 facts about MINHO

1. “Hello everyone, I am SHINee’s Flaming Charisma Minho. I have to talk for more than a minute? What can I say? One minute is too long!”

2. “Minho looks like a main character of a manga” (ONEW) “He is a living existence of selfishness!” (KEY) “When I first saw him, I thought "Ah! So handsome! Especially the eyes!” (JONGHYUN)

3. Has no concept about money, no concept about taking care of his health, has no concept about maintaining handsome or not – Why waste so much energy thinking about this kind of things?

4. If he were to pick the most handsome pose, it would be just to stand there properly. What he is most confident of: not blinking for 3 minutes!

5. “I will buy our album this time too, and keep it as a personal collection.”

6. Feels happiest when he is on stage singing and dancing, really. When singing, he will persevere on to the very end, and when singing, he will imeerse himself into the song until the last note ends. If it is not his song, it is even easier for him to get involved, like “Rokkugo”.

7. An inquisitve baby, is curious about everything. If he doesn’t do anything then it is fine, but if he goes about doing something, he must do it to his best capacity, a perfectionist.

8. Does not talk usually, but hopes that the members can become closer amongst each other, to become “forever SHINee”.

9. “The album is really manly and wild, Minho!” “They said we are manly and wild…(looks at other members) Is that good?”

10. His ideal type just need to be of an average height, must definitely be kind at heart, have long hair, wears dresses frequently – Ah, will just secretly laugh when thinking about it.

11. When singing “Love like oxygen”, he thinks of his fantasy girl (embarassed)

12. Sits upright and listens attentively on screen, but plays crazily off screen, occassionally will trip over the stairs and will turn back and glare at the stairs.

13. “Honestly, if I am a girl, the member from SHINee that I will definitely date is Taemin.”

14. Is good at doing everything, and is able to understand and analzye matters effectively – in reality, he is very aware if the people around him are comfortable or not – except when he is the camera PD: he still does not understand how to make the people in the scene stand properly.

15. “I have never seen a ghost, but I would like to see one.”

16. According to Taemin, Minho’s sleeping pyjamas is the cutest, but what is the pattern then? Flowers and grass? Animals? Hearts? It is unanswered.

17. “It shall be it then.” (catchphrase)

18. Does not have a personal talent. Does playing soccer counts? I am good at playing soccer, do you want to have a match someday?

19. Does not want to be hypocritical, refuses to be half hearted and insincere, if very straightforward in personality.

20. It’s not that he cannot be crazy, it’s not that he cannot lead, it’s not that he is not attracted to girls, you just to get hold of the that one single point that makes him interested and wait for him to give you a suprise.

Matters needing attention: Fretting: The most boring part about him is when he is bored, but when the most exciting thing is when he starts to fret. If all his frettings show themselves, then this world would be very much interesting.

The X catalyst: Uses a lot of effort to try to extend the topic and directing the atmoshpere.

The O catalsyst: Bring a puppy to him and wait for him to say stuff like “It’s so cute, looking at it makes me feel happy”, when that happens, he will naturally talk more.

20 fact about JONGHYUN

1. Has been said that the first line of “Love like oxygen” sounds like Michael Jackson’s style. “It does sound like it a bit.”, he admits it himself, but Usher is still irreplaceble, definitely!

2. “Bling Bling Jonghyun”, does it sound weird? He uses it all the time, be it during messaging or talking, he uses it. Because he loves R&B and Hip-hop too much, he wishes that he can shine forever (like bling bling). If you want it difficult to call that, “Hey Bling” can be used, thats what the members call him.

3. Will tend to talk at a really fast speed when he gets nervous, but because he talks a lot usually, nobody ever notices that habit of his.

4. There is no shortcut to acheiving perfection, just hard work and more hard work, if he is unable to take it, he will hide in the toilet for a cry, and then continue to work even harder during practice.

5. Has a lot of charisma on stage, but is very endearing and fun to be with off stage, before debut, he chats with Taemin everyday when returning home, is the member who is the most unanimous with his relaxation and lifestyle.

6. “If I meet an alien, I will definitely be scared at first, but after awhile when I get to know it, I will consider how to send it back home.”

7. Regardless of anything, no matter how many times he had performed on stage, whenever he hears his own song he will still get exceptionally excited, will lipsynch along, dance along, fidget around in his seat, even when he chokes on water he will still remain engrossed.

8. A very lively student in high school, able to digest English and Korean songs very well. Formed a band, composed music during that time, believes that if you truly like something, it is not difficult to persevere on.

9. Understands the importance of heath, so does not eat stuff like instant noodles even when he is very hungry. To practise on an empty stomach is definitely tough, but in comparison, won’t it feel really good to finally eat a full meal during breakfast? – After tolerating for so long, it’s finally time to enjoy.

10. Is not scared of the camera at all, a 180 degree display or 360 degree all show? Just state it.

11. Feels that he is a good hyung, and a good dongseng to the members, if not for the fact that they always interrupt him which makes him flares up at them shouting “Keep quiet!” at times, his image is pretty perfect.

12. Makes total and absolute preparation for everything, will even stay up overnight without sleep to prepare. If his progress does not meet his own expectations, he will feel restless and a little short tempered.

13. Likes girls who seek novelty at times, is willing to accept the age gap of up to 6 years…What about 7 years?….8 years?

14. Why cover up if you make a mistake, just admit it truthfully won’t it be good?

15. Taemin is very good, but too young. If he were to become a girl, it will be better to let Key be his boyfriend, setting aside the good personality, Key is very honest, which fits his view in life, refer to point 14.

16. Has a lot of notices, will show off to his members after returning to the dorm. Will also miss his members whom he don’t know what they are doing while he is at certain shows/programs, if there is a chance, he will like to bring all his members along.

17. The only secret to maintaining a good complexion despite a very hectic schedule is to simply maintain a positive mindset. 18. Is very proficient in the guitar, bass and piano.

19. Wakes up the earliest in the dorm, will wake up Key after he is done with washing up, Key will then wake Onew up, then Taemin and lastly, Minho – “I am the one who wakes up the earliest! I am most confident about it!”

20. “How do I wash the rice? Why doesn’t Key umma know?! …So you have to wash it like this, Taemin? Wow!”

Matters needing attention: Rebellious: A common puberty failing, it’s a phase that all teenagers will experience.

The X catalyst: Commanding orders, such as “You want me to do this?”, “You have to settle this.”

The O catalyst: Be more natural at it, as long as you don’t make him feel suppressed, he will always come to you, and is willing to endure hardship gladly.

20 facts about KEY

1. Will go to the CD shop and ask, “Where are the SHINee CDs? Are they selling well?” Cares about his welfare in outlook in life.

2. “Right from when we are trainees till now, the one who sings really well, dances superbly, gets angry only when it is an occasion to be angry about, makes people feel that "this guy is really amazing!”, that person is Key.“ (JONGHYUN)

3. Has a love-hate relationship with horror movies and horror stories, he yearns for them but he is also scared of them, he likes them but he also dislikes them. He lost his composure/image in the cinema many times because of that, he is only able to rent horror movies/dramas to watch at home to continue scaring himself.

4. "I don’t want a fantasy romance like those in the movies, I look towards a realistic and truthful relationship.” Honest, straighforward and open minded girls are OK, but girls who are soft on the outside but really fierce on the insides are a NO. Must have an opinion, not be too girly, and must like to freely express what she likes.

5. In terms of dressing up as girls, Taemin is the most suitable, but the prettiest is still the one who is looking into the mirror (ie. Key), if he really wants to do it, even a true woman will not be able to match up to him. (Proudly)

6. Is confident that he can be a gourmet chef, nobody can escape his dumplings trap.

7. “To be an idol, it’s not enough to just put in effort in the front appearance, your back appearance is important too.”

8. Good at saying honeyed words, but hearing lines like “Are you hurt? I am hurting too.” makes him burst out in laughter.

9. “If I were to become Yunhanam’s director, the viewing rates ought to be able to rise.” (smug)

10. His personal talent is imitating a robotic character from a cartoon show, the classic line being “Woah! Money! With money anything can be done!!”

11. Good at preparing, good at analyzing, belongs to the kind who is able to work out a plan from scratch with just a single detail.

12. “You cannot avoid me, you must look at me in the eyes.”

13. It’s his nature to take care of people? At first he was just Taemin’s umma, after that his nagging extends to include all of the members, and now it is becoming that he nags at whoever he sees.

14. Still nagging. Because he has been too naggy, Taemin really wants to change his umma now…

15. Become a girl? Then he would date all the other members once and see how it is. Does not know how it is like when they are in front of a girl, he is really curious about it.

16. “The person who is able to meet an ET who has come to earth and not feel scared but instead in able to converse naturally with it is Key…Even if he is left on an abadoned island, he will still be able to find a way to survive.” (JONGHYUN)

17. As long as he is being sincerely asked to do something, he will do it no matter how unwilling he is, even if he does not like to do it.

18. Sentimental and sensitive, even if it just a piece of paper from someone who he cares about, he will take really good care of it.

19. The group’s No.1 in fashion. Red, white, blue, it is normal for him to carry off these colours which are easy to carry off, but for colours like pink and grass green which are more difficult to pull off, he is still able to do it.

20. “I hope that this album can receive a lot of love from everyone, and, if only our friends all know SHINee’s songs, they only know 'Noona is so pretty’ …”

Matters needing attention: Height phobia: Will feeling giddy, disgusted, off balanced when standing on high grounds, feels very dangerous if he is suspended in midair.

The X catalyst: Rollercoaster or bungee jump or water slide…

The O catalyst: Standing with both foot on the ground.

.

Translations by atlantis-x @ soompi/shineee.net / re-post from (x)(x)(Both links are broken now but they led to SHINee’s thread on the old Soompi forums)

#year:2008 #article origin:china #era:llo #interview #cool magazine #group interview #shinee #shinee interview

[mutantsrisingrpg]

Congratulations DAISY! You’ve been accepted as NIX.

I did my waiting... twelve years of it... until we finally got our Nix! Daisy, let me start this off with how happy I was to see an app for Luke in our inbox and that happiness only grew when I read through it. At the very end of your details section you said that Luke is contradictory to a fault - which is the very much something I was looking for with him. Luke is a danger, yes we all know this, but regardless of that he wants to protect his family and he has everything as his fingertips that could make him “holy.” I’m so excited to see where you take him! 

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

Out of Character Information:

NAME/ALIAS: Daisy

PRONOUNS: She/Her

AGE: 24

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: EST // I work a few part-time jobs, so my free time is mostly reserved to the evenings and weekends, but once I have muse for a character and find a great writing community, I really commit to the rpg! I would give myself a 7/10, with some weeks dipping down to a 6 just because of work schedules and such. If there’s ever a time I can’t be on for longer than usual, I’ll definitely let you know!

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Luke Espinosa / Nix

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Cisgender male & he/him

DETAILS & ANALYSIS: This is where you show us who the character is to you! The format of this doesn’t matter, whether it’s in bullet points or in para form, and can be as long as you’d like it to be. Feel free to get creative!

Luke — “light giving” / Espinosa — From the Spanish word, “espino,” which means “hawthorn”

It’s an irony that’s not lost on him, a simple name bestowed on him by a simple man, yet perfectly matched to his own particular talents. Privately, he smiles at the memory of his mother calling him ‘Luca,’ a nickname he’s revealed only to Isabel. (Naturally, she’s the only person he’d allow to call him that now.) Still, there’s a certain saintliness to the name that he feels is an ultimate disconnect to the man he believes himself to be: hateful, spiteful, and altogether brutal — in other words, totally undeserving of anything remotely ‘holy’. The hawthorn tree is often thought to symbolize love and protection, and are often beloved by birds for their many branches and fruits to aid in nest-making and hatchling development. Personally, I feel as though Luke wouldn’t give much thought to his surname, given the memories of the man who gave it to him. Still, I can’t help but think that this last name suits him exceedingly well, especially when I consider the arc I’d like to see him go through. Currently, Luke is someone full of anger; he’s bitter, rages often and relatively indiscriminately, and rejects responsibility out of semi-unfounded fears. He’s a weapon even though he wants to be a shield, too destructive to truly protect anyone from the wrath of the world — or worse, his own. He’s not a simple man, per se, but the outside world would be forgiven for thinking him little more than a bad-tempered, ill-mannered creature of habit, forever searching for something to destroy whether through punch or power. And yet, he manages to be more than all the red that typically surrounds him, and rather evidently, too; there’s rarely a day that he doesn’t return to the apartment if only to whip up a quick boxed dinner for Isabel and Isaac and bask in their company, sharing a laugh over Isaac’s latest mishap. He’s someone who will fight for his family, die for his family, even though he never wanted, expected, or asked for them. He struggles to balance the undeniable need to protect them against his utter lack of faith in himself and the world around them. It’s not that he doubts his powers; truly, he knows exactly how dangerous he can become, how all-consuming his light can be when his internal state reaches somewhere overwhelmingly dark. So, on the days he truly needs to get away, it’s not in the boxing rings of The Jungle or the bar at The Green Mill that call to him, but instead the rooftop of some nearby building, as close to the sun as the smokey city will allow, recharging and resetting in silence. Within the Blackburn Syndicate, he’s tough, some might even call him brave — and it’s partially true, though not because of some gallant side to his personality usually cast aside in favor of sulking in the shadows. Rather, his bravery displays itself largely in times of fear; scared for the safety of someone else, he’ll often volunteer to be put in harm’s way, though not without throwing some wayward remark about the other person’s inability to handle their job. Luke knows he’s an asset, a machine, a means to an end for the Syndicate. He’s quick to protect by means of a fierce onslaught of attack — which happens to make him the perfect weapon. He’s built his career, if not his whole life, on being menacing, on instilling fear into a person in any way he can and beating whatever’s left, out. Simply put, it’s just what he knows.  In terms of truly unleashing the full extent of his powers, there are so few lines he’d be unwilling to cross. Still, when the question of family comes up, it’s not hard to imagine him setting the world alight just to keep them safe. In short, although the baseline of his personality could default to a simple ‘angry boy’ trope, I think Luke is so much more than just that. I see him as someone so craving of stability, that the fear of not having it makes it impossibly easy for him to run away; someone with the power to absorb light, yet utterly incapable of providing it for himself; a shield with no defense — contradictory to a fault. 

BIO:

[ TW for violence, death, marital/family abuse, alcohol ] Fighting had always been in his blood, and he knew it. When he closes his eyes, he still remembers coming home from school to find his precious mother, still heavily pregnant with his unborn sister, bloodied and battered on the floor, bruises formed all over her body and cuts marring her pretty face. And his father, gruff and hulking, liquor evident from his smell and the arrhythmic steps of his heavy feet, ordering the young boy to help clean up – i.e., get rid of – his fatally wounded mother. He was nine then. A boy by all measures, but the ‘monster’ within claimed his youth, clawing from the depths of his grief as he clung to his mother’s life-drained body. At a moment so dark, his body emanated light and heat, overwhelming and blinding as his tears shed freely until the world around turned black with ash and fear. At ten, he was a child trapped in a plastic prison hundreds of feet underground, blocking out all sources of natural light after enough tests determined he drew his power from the sun. His body grew weak — no, he was made to be weak, forced by human powers greater than his own — though his appetite for destruction only augmented with each passing day. When the scientists deemed him feeble enough that he’d have little chance of full-powered recovery, he was placed into a foster home with fellow mutants. Fortunately for Luke, they vastly underestimated his body’s ability to  At best, their foster parents saw each of them as little more than the monthly check; at worst, they saw their ‘children’ as nightly entertainment, watching with eager abandon as the kids with control of their powers beat up the ones whose powers hadn’t fully manifested. Unlike some of the other kids, it wasn’t the pink hair he’d seen first, nor the trembling fingers he’d recognized all too well — a trademark of someone not fully in control of their powers, yet still grasping at some invisible force in the hopes they would come back. He saw the fear in her eyes, the silent plea for help in a moment of desperation, and on instinct, he stepped in front of Isabel, shielding her from the cruelty of kids competing for a love they wouldn’t receive from ‘parents’ who were anything but. They weren’t fast friends, exactly, but something deeper: family. In a world where choice had been so quickly taken away from them simply by the nature of their genetic makeup, this act of protection without care, of love without thought, was the loudest kind of rebellion two kids confused by the world around them could muster. Soon enough, their powers grew in harmony, working with each other to learn new tricks that complemented each other’s skills. And at twelve, after enough foster homes to last a lifetime, they arrived in Chicago with nothing but a backpack between the two of them, holding little precious trinkets they’d collected or — in Luke’s case — stolen along the way. Isabel caught notice of the Blackburn Syndicate shortly after they’d settled in the snow-strewn streets. He was hesitant and prideful, believing he’d be able to provide for the both of them through whatever means necessary. He knew his aptitude for fighting could land him some money, even if it meant getting some teeth knocked out every now and then, but when he saw her knowing fear and constant shiver, he conceded once more, letting her dreams dictate their future. His apprehension for yet another home claiming to welcome them and treat them kindly remained even after Alma agreed to take them in; the distaste only grew when it was clear ‘impressing’ the woman came in the form of Isabel fainting from over-exerting her powers and an altogether destructive showing of his own. Isabel assimilated quicker than he did, finding her footing well before him; half-scared to commit himself to this new environment and half-terrified that he’d lose her if he didn’t, Luke accepted menial jobs within the Syndicate as he worked on mastering his powers. When he turned eighteen, he took an under-the-table job at The Jungle, taking and encouraging bets for certain fighters in exchange for proper lessons. Here, he studied the best of the best until he was ready for the ring himself, and by twenty-four, he carved a reputation for being quite the fearsome fighter. “The Silent Striker,” the crowds dubbed him, when his quick but quiet fighting style emerged supreme against fighters twice his size. For the past few years, he’s kept the extent of his fighting a secret from Isabel and Isaac, telling them that he liked to go just to watch, or because he was on a special assignment from the Director. It’s not that he doesn’t trust them — on the contrary, he trusts them a little too much and believes that admitting to liking, perhaps even needing The Jungle as a form of release and rush would scare them away or cause them unnecessary concern. As much as they were his saving grace, they could also be his undoing and, in turn, his desire to protect Isabel and Isaac often meant shielding them from the truth of his being — the harsh cruelty he inflicted on others in order to make sure they’d all be taken care of, outside of the confines of the Syndicate. After all, the havoc he wreaked with just his hands was nothing compared to what he could do if he let light consume him, and when all was said and done, it was safer to have them wonder, “What is he doing?” rather than “What won’t he do?” Then again, when the question of family comes up, it’s not hard to imagine him consuming the world in order to keep them safe. 

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS: 

ISABEL ACOSTA: He might never say it out loud, but she is most definitely his saving grace. She’s more than a friend, more than family. Isabel is the first person who chose him, who saw him for what he was and didn’t shy away from it but instead welcomed him — hell, even needed him. He might not have known it at the time, but he needed her just as much, and certainly needs her now. When push comes to shove, he will follow Isabel no matter the consequence, no matter the reward because he knows there is no greater advantage than having her by his side. In terms of future ideas, I’d of course love to explore the depths of his relationships with Isaac and Isabel more. The concept of ‘found family’ comes with the territory of choice, which, for a man shuffled from one house to another and utilized as a weapon for about as long as he can remember, is something precious, if not nearly divine. I’d love to see these relationships tested and tried, and really pull and poke at the bonds those characters share just for Luke to realize the depth of his choice and see the lengths he’d go to ensure their safety. I’m a sucker for angst and tension and, naturally, would love to see Luke’s faith in his family falter, to play out possible betrayals or missteps if only to see him inevitably find his way back home. 

CAIN DOUGLAS: The great shame of any fighter’s life is knowing that fighting is simply in their lifeblood, something they can’t escape and something that they won’t necessarily accept, either. When he enters the ring to fight Cain, it’s exhilarating, enthralling, and ultimately exhausting. Each match between them is an excuse to learn and train, each new bruise and bloodstain practice for the ultimate fight that’ll come between the two of them, somewhere outside of The Jungle and upon the unending concrete of the city. In my head, Luke wears some sort of mask/head covering when he fights in order to separate this exceedingly brutal side from the calmer, safer person he needs to be around Isabel and Isaac. The only reason that Cain knows his identity is because he once bested him in the ring and part of his reward was unmasking the other man. From that moment, Cain’s known his identity, which pushes Luke to train harder and harder until he can defeat the man both in and out of the ring, potentially with the intent of silencing him forever. He knows that The Jungle is mostly safe for mutants, but it’s the threat of exposing his family to something so dark, so uncontrollable, so all-consuming that scares him to his core.

EXTRA: Here’s my insp tag for Luke! (The second post in that collection gives me such Luke vibes.) And here are some headcanons:

For obvious reasons, he’s weakest in the winter. During this season, he spends most of his free time around plants, which have their own special way of storing energy from the sun, as limited as the exposure is. Luke was born and ‘raised’ in a veritable ghost town somewhere in the southwest United States, and still speaks with a kind of southern drawl. He has a sweet tooth like no other and regularly starts his day off with a hot chocolate, add two sugars. Luke doesn’t know how to drive and typically relies on Isabel to get him anywhere that the city’s transportation system can’t reach.

ANYTHING ELSE: None, thank you! But if there’s anything you need to discuss about my app, please feel free to contact me @nfwmb !!

#accepted: nix

[rawwithlove-storyteller-blog]

A Love Story

He took me to an ice cream parlour in London on one of our first dates. As we sat enjoying our desserts, he told an astonishing tale of his past and I absorbed it, having never removed my eyes from his gaze. The ice cream melted as he offloaded, each detail more shocking than the next. To protect his privacy, I won't get into details, but many of my friends would have gotten up and walked away. I didn't; I was intrigued. I wanted to know more. 

In the months to come we became good friends. I wanted to be around him all the time. I never knew what he would do or where he would take me. It could be the cinema or an impulsive trip to Paris, either option was offered with the ease of asking “so how do you take your coffee?” He was the quiet man who would sit in the corner of a room whilst simultaneously being in control the show. Our time together was extravagant and reeked of easy money - made so easy, it’s money to be spent.

On a trip to Mauritius, as it came to an end, we sat in a romantic candlelit restaurant looking at our menus. He spoke to me very clearly and calmly. After the trip had ended we were to return to London and he never wanted to see me again. It had been months of him demonstrating his desire to be with me. The trips, gifts, and time spent together were his way of courting me. I had always politely rejected his advances, giving just enough to show interest but concealing my emotions. He wasn't my usual type. His past was dark. His current situation… well, the less I knew the better.

He stood by his word and refused to speak to me. I wrote, called, and all but pleaded, but he ignored my advances. It was only once I lost him that I realized just how extraordinary he was. Having achieved all that he had, despite his past, and being so humble was inspiring to me. I desired him and was willing to do whatever it took to get him back. He, in return, had put his guard up and there was no penetrating it. I wanted to be with him so, when we finally met, before he could utter a single word I kissed him. Our first kiss. He had made his point loud and clear and I would no longer play any games; I was his. 

"He had made his point loud and clear and I would no longer play any games; I was his. "

Our relationship finally began.

Soon after we became inseparable. The relationship was adventurous and excessive. He was incredibly generous. We were the underprivileged ones with difficult upbringings - we weren't meant to live the way we did. We felt invincible. I loved him without condition.

I had found the person I could finally open up to about my past. The many events I had chosen to forget, my experiences of love, love lost, pain, and secrets. To this day I don't think there is anyone in the world that knows me as well as he does. To be that open and accepted was something I had never felt before; I was at peace.

We sat in bed one day and I told him a story.

It was the story of the human heart. I believe that when we’re born, our heart is filled with the purity of having never experienced any pain. It’s vibrant and full of joy. As we get older, though, and feel the disappointments of life, our hearts become a bit more wounded. A dent here, a scratch there.

In my youth I experienced enough pain to last a lifetime. My heart took a beating. Like a man returning from battle, I was wounded but functioning. I didn’t have much left that resembled a heart, so it became even more precious.

I held my hand up and showed him my open palm, where an imaginary, fragile heart lay. Then  I closed it tightly. Too much had happened to me and I was riddled with fear, as I loved him deeply. If I placed what little I had left in his hands and he were to hurt me, well… I’d have nothing left to give. It could destroy me and it was a risk I wasn’t sure I should take.

He looked me in the eyes, having realized the importance of what I was saying, and opened my closed palm. he took the imaginary heart and held it to his chest. “Leave it with me,” he said, “and I’ll protect it from now on as you heal.” For the first time in my adult life I felt truly loved by a man. My heart strengthened. 

We were married in a town hall. It was a small ceremony with only two close friends who also served as witnesses. I wore a dress which I bought off the rack for £15. He looked amazing in his designer suit. As we read our vows, I cried.

Unbeknownst to us, the marriage would be our downfall. The timer had started and it was the beginning of the end.

He came from a religious and strict Muslim family. Their culture was so different to mine and they had expectations of us which I could not meet. I had always been a free butterfly, off on a new adventure and filled with a joie de vivre, free to live my life without structure. Only now, I had the man I loved by my side. He embraced and accepted me even as some members in his family rejected the adventurous western woman. I wasn't going to set a good example for his sisters and community. I wasn't going to convert to Islam.

It didn’t matter much as neither of us were religious. As the years went by, he always stood by my side despite his family’s disapproval. It wasn't that they disliked me as a person, it was that they knew I would never be like them. He had a son from a previous marriage and his son became my son. I loved him as if he were my own.

Life wasn't always perfect, but it was ours. We were each other’s escape and strength. It really felt like it was just us in the world, living in a luxurious bubble.

Then the bubble burst.

A criminal case, which he assumed had been closed years ago, had been reopened. He was being charged and the penalty was up to 12 years in prison.

We were devastated. We imagined our only worry in life was the decision or whether or not to convert religions; now it was whether he would stay or leave.

The day he was taken, we spent the morning in bed lying in each other’s arms. It had been organized that he was to be extradited to another country later that afternoon. He never asked me if I would stay with him and I never declared that I would wait. I would wait, though. His prison sentence became my prison sentence.

It was decided he would serve 18 months, I found out during one of our daily calls. I told him it would be alright and to be strong. I’d take care of the rest. He was always my rock and now it was my turn to be his. I was suffering, but I never let him know. He held my heart and I wanted to be his reason to keep going. 

It was also around this time that I began to live two separate lives. I chose not to tell anyone of his prison sentence, instead opting for a fake breakup before miraculously getting back together when he returned. He had left on a long business trip and no-one would see him for 18 months. I was embarrassed by the thought of potential gossip and being judged. I was ashamed that if I told anyone the truth then I’d have to come to terms with the crippling pain of our separation. Family and friends would certainly ask me to leave him; I was young and could start over, they would say. We weren't the perfect couple, after all. There were two close childhood friends which I confided in, as well as my mother. Many of my closest family and friends will be shocked, as they will only find out when they read this.

"Many of my closest family and friends will be shocked, as they will only find out when they read this."

Two lives, one person. Sometimes I was the supportive wife, picking up my stepson from my husband’s ex and having him for our designated weekends. Liaising with the solicitors. Accepting daily calls from prison. Other times I was the grieving ex, not quite ready to date again. When friends pushed for me to move on, I simply said I needed more time. Ensuring I never painted him in a bad light, I was awaiting his return.

We wrote each other 100 love letters during his sentence. It was exciting to get home and receive a beautiful bouquet of roses. Even in prison, he didn't forget an anniversary or Valentine’s day. He was always romantic. He continued to support me and I continued to support him.

Finally, the sentence was over and he returned home. He was a different man from the one I knew, worn down and defeated. He never complained and I never saw him cry. There was no self-pity. He just wanted to get on with his life, so we didn’t speak of it again. We had reconciled and I was happy to have my heart back.

The topic of converting to Islam became more prevalent with his return. He would do anything in the world for me, and I anything for him - except convert my religion. It became a stubborn battle of wills. 

We tried our best to not bring it up. Neither of us liked confrontation or arguments. We were a perfect fit otherwise, but there was always the elephant in the room. He had become religious and wanted me to join him on the same path.

I want to be clear that I respect Islam and all religions. I have a Quran. I educated myself on this beautiful religion, which is often misunderstood. It’s based on sound ideals that I admire and aim to follow, but it simply wasn't my path. I tried to be more open to converting, but it didn't come naturally. I asked God for guidance and decided I would continue without a religion, remaining spiritual. 

We moved and travelled to other countries. Perhaps a change of continent would change our ideals and help us in our vision of the future; it didn't.

It all came to a head one bright and sunny afternoon as we drove in Cape Town. He was leaving me, having become unable to come to terms with my desire not to convert. I jumped out of the car and walked along the ocean’s boardwalk. I walked until darkness literally overcame me. It was over and I was to return to London without him.

They say time heals everything, but I disagree. As the months went by, I felt progressively worse. I was traumatized. I had given him all I had left of my heart. I had nothing left to give - not even enough left to love myself. This double life had taken its toll on me. I lost his son as well. it was too much to bear.

I left to visit an aunt in Colombia. She lived on a farm out in the countryside with stunning views of the West Andes mountains. It was stripped down to the vital necessities but incredibly charming - no electricity and no need to check my phone. I had escaped as far as I could go. 

We sat on rocking chairs facing the mountains and she asked me what was wrong. I told her everything. The ice cream parlour, the trips, the romance, the son, the prison sentence. The double life. The religion and having lost my heart.

  I needed to tell someone to extract this pain which was torturing  my mind. The words flowed out like a poisonous venom. I cried often and would pause only to find I had even more to eliminate. She sat in silence, rocking in her chair, listening but never making eye contact. At some point I released the last bit of poison and was exhausted. I observed her peacefully rocking away. How could she be so calm? My world had ended. I lost the human that knew me the most. I was shattered and had lost my joie de vivre. 

Finally, she broke her silence and asked if I had told her everything. Could it be that I’d missed a detail? No, I pondered, I had told her everything. I offloaded it all. There was nothing left to be said. “Good,” she said, “If there’s nothing left to be said, then it’s a thing of the past. Move on.”

And just like that, I felt a sense of relief flow through my body. I was resurrected. It was over and my life began again.

Much has happened after as I began to rebuild. I travelled solo for 8 months in search of simplicity and peace of mind. 

I did see him again. We spoke about what we had gone through. He apologized for if he ever made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. It was not his intention as he loved me entirely. He just knew we had a different future ahead of us. I told him of my travels and living in the jungles - of all the amazing people and experiences I had discovered as I fell in love with myself again. I was healing and had my heart back; a new one I created from within. He was proud of me. I was still the butterfly that never clipped my wings.

We are no longer in contact. Occasionally I have heard of him or seen him in the background of a picture. We don’t share mutual friends. I don’t know what country he lives in.

We used to say that our last thought on our deathbed would be of each other. He was the man that met me as a girl and saw me flourish into a woman. I will forever treasure our time together and, despite the pain, there’s nothing I would change about it.

There is so much I chose not to disclose to protect his identity and story. This story covers 6 years and countless cities around the world.

However, if he were to ever read this, I want him to know this is my last love letter to him. I want him to know I live a life full of love and he will always occupy a space in my growing heart, till our deathbed and beyond.

#love

[pandoras-proxy]

I'm also obsessed with the whole Strahd/Tatyana dynamic (I have an Insta account dedicated to it - @barovia_bites) Looking forward to seeing more from you!! You are an awesome artist and story teller :)

Thanks so much! It’s definitely something I’ve been enjoying a lot in our campaign. :) I think I mentioned it in a previous post, but the whole Strahd/Iona arc started with a letter she wrote to the Lord himself. I really loved this exchange, so I figured I’d share! 

Iona’s 1st letter

I write this letter not knowing where to begin. How did we meet? What were we to each other? How did I hurt you? I have more questions than there are stars in the sky.

I suppose I’ll begin with a confession.

I said I didn’t know you, but in truth, there was a whisper of a memory… but only a whisper. It may as well have been obscured by the mists that brought me here. I sense I have a history here, but there are so many things I do not understand. Help me understand.

Maybe then, I could understand the love you say we had or this curse you say I brought… Maybe then, we could free you of this cycle of suffering you are trapped in, together.

I don’t know where I’ll be by the time this reaches you but something tells me that if you want me to receive a reply, I will. Given how contentious our first meeting was (with words of anger from you and bravado from myself), I ask that you remember the protection I am under.

[There is a large space between these words and the next, and a small drop of ink, as if Iona’s quill hovered for a long time in search of words.]

Was I musically inclined when you knew me? In this lifetime, I find solace in music so I’ll leave you with the beginnings of a song:

I know not if fate would have us live as one

Or if by love’s blind chance we’ve been bound

You flee my dream come the morning

Your heart, its passion displaced

By anger ever growing, hardening into stone

The wish I whispered, when it all began

Did it forge a love you might never have found?

[Beside the words are music notations]

Iona

Strahd’s 1st letter

My Dearest Iona,

There is so much I long to share. So much, that I too find it difficult to determine an adequate place to begin. We have had so many beginnings you and I, and each one has been lost in the darkness of the past. But perhaps I shall start with the first.

A long time ago, my father had called upon me to serve in his wars. He called upon my sense of honor. He called upon my sense of duty. And, finally, he called upon my years. I gave him victory, and for that he took my youth. Time is such a precious thing. You cannot own it. You cannot keep it. You can only spend it. And, once you have, it is forever lost.

Following the triumph of our kingdom, I sent for my family, long unseated from their ancient throne, to settle with me in Castle Ravenloft. They came with a younger brother of mine, Sergei. He was young and handsome, and I hated him for both. But mostly, I hated him for what he brought with him. You.

From the moment I first looked into your eyes the rest of the world vanished. In you I saw everything that I had yearned for and lost. Youth. Kindness. I longed for you to be mine. But, alas, your heart went to Sergei. “Brother,” you called me. Yet while that word spilled from your crimson lips, I knew its true meaning. “Elder,” “Old-one.”

What my father had taken from me, he had left to my brother.

Darkness overtook me. I would find a way to preserve what youth I had left, no matter the cost. Perhaps then, I could rightfully take what should have been mine. I made a pact with death, which I signed with blood. But in the end, it did not matter. You hated me for what I had done. For the sacrifices I made in your name!

You threw yourself from the waterfall, and thus our first beginning came to an end. But I could not let it be the last. I darkened the skies and shrouded the land to keep you here with me. I would endlessly traverse time itself to find you again. I stand at its harbor, scanning the horizon, and through its waves I can see moments as slow and transparent as glass. And you, forever on the other side, your hair blazing like the rising sun. I tremble in your radiance. All other desires, hopes, and aspirations have been banished by its rays, until there is you. Only you.

You ask me if you have always been gifted with music? Yes. But to me your greatest work was simply your presence. It has been the symphony of my heart, and the dirge of my soul.

Strahd

Iona’s 2nd letter

I learned about Ireena today. She was one of our many lost beginnings, wasn’t she? I wonder how many times you’ve found me as you stood vigil over your oceans of time. It sounds… so lonely.

Has tragedy truly followed all of our meetings?

I don’t know how much of my life you’ve seen, if any, but I have not given my heart to another. The thought is terrifying. Love has only ever destroyed those around me and made them suffer. As it has made you suffer. All that you’ve gone through, the pain, the sacrifice, this cycle of torment, can you honestly say it’s been worth it?

And yet, even as I write this, I realize our paths aren’t so different. Rage and despair have lead me to a pact of my own, as you must know. I don’t care its price so long as the violence in my heart is reconciled.

Will you help me or will you hinder me in the end, I wonder?

I travel now, my destination unknown. This world of yours is a dark place and I sense its menace around me, like the eyes of a predator upon my skin. Tell me, what will I face? If I ever need aid, is it the Vistani I can trust? How can I show that you and I are connected?

As ever, I am full of questions but perhaps you understand my caution. Already this beginning of ours was nearly ended.

You’ve told me about yourself and about us and for that I thank you. Is it strange that I look forward to your next letter? That I’ll watch the night skies and think of you when I see the mists?

The first song isn’t ready for an end, so I will leave you with this one instead:

Sun sets, beloved one

Time to dream. Your mind journeys,

But I will hold you here.

Where will you go, beloved one,

Lost to me in time?

Seek truth in a forgotten land,

Deep within your heart.

Wherever you shall go, beloved one,

Follow my voice-

I will call you home.

I will call you home.

[Music notations are beside the words]

You’ve called me home again.

Iona

Strahd’s 2nd Letter

Dearest Iona,

Tatyana was the first, and Ireena the last. Until you. And through the years, there have been many more.When you threw yourself from the cataract, I knew I must keep you here with me. I drew upon the darkness and formed the ashen mists that envelope this land. They are a prison, which binds souls to this valley and keeps them here with me. Time and time again, you would be born. Time and time again you would choose death over my embrace.

When Ireena passed, I waited again - patiently like the tide. But you did not return. Despite all possibility, you had escaped. I scoured the world from my castle. Searching. Until there was a whisper… but only a whisper. And I followed, just as the moon follows the sun across the horizon.

No, Iona, I cannot say that love has been worth torment. It has never brought me happiness. The fires of hell could burn for all eternity and it would never equal what I feel for you in minute of the night. Yet appraising its value is futile. If only I could cast it into flame and sear it from my heart, I would. But, in my endless vigil, I have found the most horrifying truth: Love never dies.

Join me, here in Castle Ravenloft and bring an end to this curse you have placed upon me. Until then and always, I too shall watch the night sky and think of you.

Strahd

Iona’s 3rd letter

[Some context: This letter is sent after Iona leaves Ravenloft against Strahd’s wishes. She does it reluctantly but with the belief it must be done to pursue her goals.]

I know you will be angry. Maybe you will never forgive this perceived betrayal. But please know that I did not do it to spurn you or to hurt you. What I said before was the truth; when I have completed what I must do, when the connection between the Feywild and the Material Plane has been severed, I will stay with you. Whether you try to stop me or help me from now on, I will come back to you. I will walk to your castle gates and I will give you everything that I am.

Until then, I beg for your understanding and for your forgiveness.

I hope you will write back. Though I’ve only known you a short time, there’s already a hollow ache in my chest at the thought of your silence. If you write, will you tell me one of your happier memories? Before the curse. Before Tatyana. I want to you know you. Not the Lord. Not the Vampire. But the man. I want to open my heart to you.

I’ll share a memory of my own.

When I was a young girl, I was rather mischievous. I would escape my caretakers often and lose myself in the gardens of the Unseelie court. There I had such adventures. I would weave myself a crown of black hellebore and nightshade and carefully make dolls out of twigs and grass. In my halls of hedgerow, I presided over a kingdom of leaves and flowers.

In it, I would slay dragons and capture fell beasts, all of which were in truth the resident sprites of the garden. Whether it was the honey I used to entice them or simply the amusement at seeing a Fey Lord’s daughter prance about with flowers in her hair and dirt on her knees, they played along in a spectacular fashion.

I had death-defying duels with willow switches. I embarked on quests to find treasures of seed and stone hidden for me throughout the garden. I held court and danced beneath faerie light.

Despite its darkness and the pain it caused me, some of my happiest memories were in the Feywild. I hope I can be the light in your darkness.

I left you my lute in the gardens by the cliff. It’s the last thing I had of my mother. In its place, I will cherish the memory of your lips and the sliver of your heart I carry in my possession.

Now and always, I am yours.

Iona

#curse of strahd #iona #text post #love letters #asks

[tenyatrash]

ToshInko Wedding Bells

Hello! I’m going through my GDrive and uploading all the pieces that I wrote for apps and then never posted.

Here’s my first ever ToshInko piece. Just some reflective fluff about their wedding day and Toshinori learning to let go and enjoy the happiness that he’s spent decades providing and protecting for others. 

Read it here or below the cut:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19782586

Toshinori steps out into the coolness of a setting summer sun and braces a wide hand against the safety rail while another rises to shield his eyes. Today’s the day.

Somehow, despite all his mistakes and failings, despite this ruined body and anxious mind, he’s found love. Found the home and safety that he fought for decades to protect for others, never really believing he would ever earn the same.

He’s not prepared.

For the fifth time since waking, his head starts to get away from him, all the what-ifs of his life crowding around his mind like a pressing crowd. But like every time before, he sees a flash of darkest emerald and the fear fades into a sort of pleasant hum, like the rush of adrenaline before a big fight or a late night interview. Like he used to feel, before, when life was full of promise and adventure.

He lowers his hands and ambles down the stairs, picking at the cuffs of his morning suit with a watery smile that spreads as he gently worries the cufflinks between his knobby fingers. Two understated cherry blossoms, formed of blushy agate and given to him by his man of honor. Young Midoriya. He chokes up a bit.

His son.

The first of many wedding gifts, but already precious beyond measure.

“I uh- I mean. Here, All Might! I mean...Toshin...I mean….oh gosh...Dad?” He’s said it before, but it’s not an accident this time, and the reality of that turns the blushing boy into an absolute watering pot.

He had shoved the gently wrapped heirlooms into Toshinori’s waiting hands as if worried he’d accidentally break them, or more likely, throw them into the air in his manic joy.

“These are for you! To wear, today, if you want!”

Two cherry blossoms, to represent new beginnings and beauty, made of agate to represent wisdom, composure, and maturity. Izuku explains the meaning behind the gift in a classic mumble rumble as Toshinori wipes his eyes and rolls the weighted links into his palm, his other hand coming to rest on the smooth grey fabric covering his soon-to-be son’s shaking shoulder.

“Young M- Izuku. Thank you, truly. They’re a wonderful thought, from a wonderful son. I’m honored to be joining your family. Truly.”

Izuku starts wailing in earnest as a porter comes running with tissues in an attempt to keep salt and snot off the brushed fabric of their new suits while their particularly dedicated photographer tries to turn the calamity into a cute shot.

While he’s having his moment, Toshinori gingerly picks up the first blossom and threads it through his cuff, fingers wobbling a little with emotion as the gift clicks into place.

How did he get so lucky?

That’s the thought that follows him from the guest house to the small shrine, across the paved steps and into the courtyard where his future is waiting for him. They’re blending ceremonies here, the two lovers picking and choosing between the America that All Might loves and the Japan that nurtured them both and brought them together.

He’s in a suit, no family crest to sew on to a kimono, no mother or matchmaker to stand behind him at the shrine. She’s in a traditional shiromuku, but there are small bright flowers of yellow rebellion sewn into the edges of the kimono and no tsunokakushi to hide her “horns of anger.” Instead, she’s all soft smiles and openness, hair tied into a simple knot and ornamented by a hairpin of tinkling bells and agate petals.

Cherry blossoms.

Neither is in the spring of youth, yet as they gaze at one another across the smooth stones, the blush of first love colors their soft glances and trembling hearts. As they come together, he smiles down at her, electric eyes roving over her challenges to tradition in breathless approval. Toshinori doesn’t want her to hide anything, not ever, and it’s part of what drew them together.

They enter the shrine together, Izuku and Naomasa bringing up the rear.

The sake cups are another tradition Inko offered to forego, but Toshinori settles on the water-cut version of the spirit often given as a child’s first celebratory sip instead, eager to share in this ritual with his beloved. He swears he’s never tasted anything so sweet.

Their nuptial cups are followed with sips for their two witnesses and offerings to the gods.

Prayers for happiness and peace and a long autumn for their newly-shared lives.

And then there are the rings, held in sacred trust by the boy that binds them together. As Toshinori whispers the words he never dreamed he’d get to say, he slips a simple golden band down the finger of the woman who fills his every day with love. Inko joins her son in waterfall tears, choking in happy huffs as she mimics the motion, babbling about the future and her love as this symbol of her devotion slips across a swollen joint and into the cradle of his finger.

He looks good as a taken man.

The priest recites the final blessings, and Toshinori leans forward, eyes bright and heart suddenly threatening to beat out of his rattling chest. She’s just so lovely, and as his eyes flutter closed, he regrets that he can’t capture this moment perfectly in his mind. But even without sight, he sees every detail clear as day, at least until her lips press against his.

Then he can’t see anything at all, so swept up in the sweetness of the gesture and the profound change it represents.

Lucky for him, Naomasa, that old sap, is recording the whole thing.

The private ceremony ended, Naomasa and Izuku wave and wander away, headed for the larger reception where friends and family are gathered to celebrate the newly dubbed “Symbol of Matrimony” and the marriage that many never imagined they’d see.

Toshinori and Inko join hands and head to the guest house, ostensibly to change into reception clothing, but that’s a secondary concern. They’re so grateful for the love and support that surrounds them, but for the moment, what they really crave is a moment alone together, the first of many.

They arrive at the threshold and in a moment of spontaneity, Toshinori picks her up and carries her laughing into the cozy cottage.

“Ah! Toshinori!” She’s kicking her feet gently and all the sudden she’s fifteen again, giggling in the arms of a cute boy.

He smiles down at her and gently tickles down her side, adding in a self-deprecating smirk, “What can I say? I’ve always wanted to do this and if we wait until tonight, who knows if this old man will manage it.”

Inko unclasps a hand from his neck and runs her fingers over his sunken cheek as he sets her down, arms still wrapped around her in a loose embrace, like he wants to extend this small moment as long as possible.

“Oh, I think this old man has plenty left in him.”

She leans forward and kisses him more aggressively this time, humming in amusement as Toshinori tenses around her as if worried he’s doing something wrong. He relaxes when his mind catches up with his racing heart.

Right, we’re married, remember?

He returns the gesture shyly and gently begins the process of unraveling Inko from the folds of richly layered kimono, covering his eyes as she’s reduced to her slip, but still catching a flash of faintest teal that shimmers like silk.

Inko breaks into full body laughs as she takes in the sight of her new husband, eyes shut tight and kimono held up like a shield against her state of undress. The fact that she’s more covered than when wearing a swimsuit doesn’t seem to matter to him.

It’s the context of the thing.

She gently takes the heavy fabric from him and hums her way to the dressing room, giving her poor sweetie an auditory cue for when it’s safe to open his eyes. This mixture of age and innocence is part of what drew her to Toshinori, part of what convinced her heart that it was okay to love again.

That this hero would never hurt her. She thinks she hears him gulping down some water and smiles into the brightly patterned tea-length navy dress that Izuku helped her pick out and get embroidered with silver storks and turquoise blossoms in an ode to the man who they both came to love so dearly.

She steps back into the sitting room, patting down her re-arranged hair and twirling in front of the gaping Toshinori.

“Too much?”

“Wh- No, not at all. You’re radiant, and it’s perfect.”

She smirks mischievously, “Well, it’s not perfect yet, darling.”

Toshinori knits his brows together and tries to catalog every stitch, finding no false note. Inko breaks into a brilliant smile and spins around, revealing the curve of her back and more of that tantalizing under-slip.

“Zip me up, would you?”

Toshinori complies, fingers caressing against sunkissed skin as his hands splay across her and his mind wanders to all the blessings he’s received, none more precious than the woman in front of him and the son she molded into a hero. He gulps again, sure that at any moment this dream will end, but it doesn’t.

The dream continues, for year and years, forever; taking root in a thousand happy memories and countless soft moments, a lifetime together that renews every year with the bloom of the cherry blossoms and the triumphs of their priceless son.

No one could ask for more.

#toshinko #toshinko fanfic #toshinori x inko #Toshinori Yagi #midoriya inko #my writing

[resmarted]

i will shield you from all the ugly in the world, the snares of the fowler and the beasts that lurk in plain daylight, i’ll take a sword to their ankles and bring them all to their knees. i shalt not be afraid for the terror by night nor for the arrow that flieth by day, the whole shebang, baby. i’m elbow deep in your rib cage with a determination like no other when i ask if i’m coming on too strong. of course i am. of course i beckon at your feet like a dog in the night, of course i am ready to tear anyone limb by limb for daring to speak ill on your name. everyone has warned you about me. there was a time i would laugh at this in twisted delight, and to be fair i still am a bit, but i’m not laughing when i say i would keep you safe. the world moves at a different speed when we are together, slows down, becomes more malleable. you are a blood diamond, mined from childhood trauma and sculpted into this rare, beautiful thing. i waste away in the very idea of you, with such a sick craving that i should be ashamed. i should repent for impure thoughts and whimsical notions on lazy afternoons where all i have to dream about is a life outside of this that’s easier and fun, but we both know i’ll just keep doing it. we both know i’ll apologize only to remain unchanged, this endless cycle of failed repression and untamed desire. you are a tense jawbone and rigid movements, cautious and selective with every minute detail of your interactions, a wounded animal in a cage of its own making. i am a wildfire, a clumsy overgrown ball of restless claws that can’t help but pounce, the moth to the flame and all that. i bet that’s everyone though. i bet it’s so sickening. i can’t imagine having to live with the weight of such great beauty and the pain it has invited into your life from such a young age. this isn’t pandering, or at least i don’t mean it that way, but it is a world so beyond me and my scope of understanding that i wouldn’t know where to begin as far as the consideration of what might make one uncomfortable or how it’s not always as funny as i think it is. yes i am too handsy and too forward and too fast and too furious, have we gone over this before? it feels like we have been down this road and i feel like i go in circles saying the same things so i just stopped saying anything at all. i cannot stop being who i am, though. i don’t know if that’s too traumatizing for you, but you should surely stay far away if that really is the case. i can never tell if you’re being dramatic or if i’m being the monster, or maybe it’s a little bit of both, but i’m not into it. i cannot play this game where i pretend you’re a sexless being and that i am disinterested in that entire aspect of your identity and just talk about old episodes of the office in some phony social dance that doesn’t even make any sense to begin with. i cannot feel within my purpose if i am not able to give and provide, but i tend to give to all the wrong people while the deserving are left in sleepless hunger. what is that? that off-kilter aim on the compass, that pit in the stomach that can read through the eyes and souls of everyone around me and still chooses to see the good regardless of the consequences it may hold over my own well-being? is it a conscious refusal to allow the misplaced anger and trust issues of others to consume my inner joy, or just plain stupidity? i can’t stand the thought of hurting you or being any added pressure to the spiraling and the unnecessary amount of shit you put yourself through, you hurt yourself enough on your own and certainly don’t need my help. i wish it were different. i wish i were able to act like everyone else does and pick on you like you’re just up for the chopping block as per the social norms. but when have you ever known me to participate in social norms? seriously. when have you ever known me to do it like anyone else?

i know you are scared and intimidated and have this unreasonable fear of not being good enough even though i am outside of your window setting myself on fire for your affection, which is weird to me, but i suppose you’ve known me in every other life and are well aware of my tendency to become bored and let go only moments after something that once burned so brightly. and i get it, the pedestal only gets higher so the fall is surely to be harder, but i swear even if that were the case i would simply pull out my mod podge and put you back together again piece by aching little piece. i would prop you back up in bed beside me so you can say things like, did you notice the influx of olsen twin posts with irrelevant captions going around? and i will just say see? people get it. you will remind me that literally no one gets it. and that’s fine, that’s always been the case. i cannot live my life waiting around for other people to get it nor do i feel the need to help them along in any capacity, but for you i would pull out the charts and graphs with great enthusiasm and teach you every idiosyncrasy of the kardashian-jenner family tree like our lives depended on it. my favorite part about this image is the thought of you so vehemently rejecting such knowledge that it causes an actual fight because it’s already my fault you know anything about them in the first place. how cruel of me! how dare i infest your precious mind with such pedestrian brain rot. please forgive me, please send my love to the gods and a letter of appeal to my rejection from the heavens. i’ve spent my life keeping everyone at arm’s length, only letting them know the very careful and concise parts of me that i have meticulously presented, and it will likely stay that way. it’s no one’s business! it’s literally no one’s business. not what i do with you or with him or her or them or zer or whoever it may be, for as much as i love to shout declarations of love from the rooftops, i am shouting into a void where passersby are unaware of how lucky they are to even witness in real time. i owe nothing to those standing before me, nor have they earned the right to know anything about me beyond the vapid nonsense i spew for fun, and i think that’s fine. no one else seems to think so, everyone seems to tiptoe around the rumor mill trying to put the pieces together and i can only feel flattered that so much time and energy has been invested into me and my personal life. this is the thing i keep saying, the thing about how only two types of people in the world exist, the creators and the consumers, and they’re almost never the same people. there is an instinct to poke and prod, perhaps because everyone is so open about everything they expect you to be the same. maybe because it’s become the norm to discuss gargling dicks and eating ass that by comparison i am a puritan that wandered into the wrong century and am somehow still being burned at the stake by the very same people claiming to also be witches. isn’t that strange? i used to have so much fun, but i suppose i’m filtering out the parts of these memories where i became the topic of conversation every time i wasn’t in the room, where i have been a mystery everyone tries to solve or to at least break apart and conquer in some sick game of their own making. i am a closed off little hermit because i learned the hard way.

i keep to myself and wait for the day you feel better enough to look me in the eye again. the isolation you’ve put yourself through has been a fraction of the kind i’ve grown so devastatingly accustomed to. you think this is a one time deal or that it’s a rare once in a lifetime sort of thing that happens during youth and that there’s an expiration on this type of risky behavior and general befuddlement, but i’m here to bear the bad news that it happens again and again. you will fail and fuck up over and over again. you will deal with relentless disappointments and it doesn’t make you any less of who you are. people will continue to target you the way they always have, for different reasons than my own but mostly all relating back to the attention they have or haven’t received from you. they feel safer in big numbers and sometimes i do too, i think it’s natural. being a loner though, being completely fine with the solitude, something about that really rubs people the wrong way. i’ve seen it happen countless times, a friend to all is a friend to none, and such. i know this isn’t much, like i know your issues delve a lot deeper than this tiny little surface i’m scratching, but you’re not too crazy for me. you will never be too crazy for me.

#long reads

[luovita]

How to engage more time for giving and realise the value of life

Are you tired of all those time management strategies that never gave you any favorable results or didn’t last for more than a few weeks or days?

  Do you have a desire to spend more time with others but can’t?   How to make more time for giving? Do you think giving can actually improve your lifestyle? There is a saying "The more you give, the more you received". Helping a lot especially those in need is more than enough to call yourself wealthy.    

    Let us answer some questions, as we too have gone through the same phases and have seen a few of our close friends combating the same challenges. Sharing you this wonderful Chinese saying that goes like this “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.”         This saying only tells us that true happiness can be found by helping others wholeheartedly and without expecting anything in return. Although we have different definition of happiness, some may define it having a happy life, having a lot of money, earning a lot of money, and even having an stable job or having good career. Based from my personal experience, helping out even in the simplest way gives me the feeling of success and happiness that I can’t find somewhere else. Earning good money online or at work, is incomparable to the real happiness of working from home, spending more time with family. After discovering them, you must put them in a list according to their importance in your life and manage your time suitably. It is true that it’s better to give than to receive. When you give more, you receive even more. What’s important is you know how to be thankful for every single present you get.   Check out the Ultimate Life Experience.

      On the other hand people who are too giving sometimes ends up being hurt. There are ways on how we can avoid it.     1. You share the same passion   Passion can serve as a strong foundation when we give. If we love what we are doing, we care more, we give more and we feel happier. Just an example, if you are a teacher, you tend to be more active in helping out of school youths as you provide free tutorials or teach them read and write. Our passion makes us rich.   2. Your Time   Time is the most precious and valuable thing you can give. To help people doesn’t always mean you need to give monetary help or material things. Sometimes just being there is already more than enough. As the saying goes "Time is Gold" is precisely right. Time grants us the chance of doing what we are passionate about, of what makes us happy.   3. Know where your help is going   It gives more happiness to the giver if they know where their helps is actually going to instead of helping organizations where they don’t share what’s actually happening with the help they collected from people.   4. Be proactive   Generosity should be genuine and natural. You don’t donate to flood victims because of your friends. Giving should come from the bottom of your heart.   5. Don’t be guilt-tripped into giving   You must know the reason why you want to help. You don’t help people to reassure that you’ll get the same help when you are in their position. It should never work that way. Give because you want to do it.   If you are still unaware of your life’s purpose and struggling to dedicate your time for others, take a few moments from your busy life, and give these some thought. Trust me, it will be a life-changing experience.    

How much time is worth volunteering?

        There are times when I get amazed by people who apologize for being able to volunteer only for one or two hours a week. According to them, this short period of time can’t make a difference to anyone or to any cause. Some people don’t even understand the value of their potential contribution and avoid volunteering as they consider it as a waste of time. If you regard yourself to be one such individual, this exercise will certainly change your perspective. What I have realized from my experience about volunteering is that it is very useful. The very thought that giving a small amount of time can make no difference to anyone’s life, couldn’t be further from the truth. Let me prove it to you by walking you through a short exercise. It will take you only a few minutes to do this and trust me you will find it worthwhile.   • First, think back over your life and make a list of every person who had a positive impact on you.   • Next, once your listing is done, note down the amount of time they took to make that contribution.   • Now, review your list once again and consider at least one person, who had helped or encouraged you in a very short period.   This is where true happiness starts. It will back so much memories that can give you the sense of belongingness, purpose and will translate to you dream life, Life full of happiness. Most of you, while practicing this exercise, will uncover the memories of several such individuals who contributed to your life in a positive way. You will find that most of them did it through their small gestures or by something that they said. If they could do it for you, you too can do the same for others. Remember, there must be someone in this big world, who is waiting for you to volunteer and donate whatever time you can afford, to make their life beautiful and the world around them a better place to live. Don’t let your thoughts of desiring more time for volunteering engulf you and stop you from doing a good deed.        

Questions to Ask Before Volunteering

        Volunteering is very rewarding but requires a lot from a person. So before applying one must be dedicated and passionate about it. There are questions to ask before volunteering. Volunteering is one of the most satisfying jobs that not only helps others but also keeps you mentally stimulated. It allows you to get involved with new things that help people in need while developing your own skills. But volunteering can also be a frustrating experience for a few, who jump into the work without any prior plan or research. According to me, before you commit your time and energy to a venture, find all the obligations related to it. As my own experience says, before you take the charge of a volunteer work, estimate the time required to accomplish it. In the past, whenever I took the position of a volunteer, I felt that it took considerably more time to do a quality job than mentioned by the organizations. Thus, before any commitment, discuss the job with the organization and evaluate the time according to your competence and the task given. Many organizations do not reveal the actual hours taken by past volunteers with a fear that you might not take the job. Few of them, do not even have the required skills to assess the actual amount of time to execute the work. In most cases, these syndicates state whatever they learnt from others and their estimations are not based on the ongoing task or situation. Regardless of what you are told about the amount of time and the skills required by the organization, do your own research. Check if they meet your expectations and only then, take your own decision. With this act, you can evaluate your own compatibility with the work. Considering the other priorities of your life, judge if you are ready to take the volunteering responsibilities or not. If you find that the liabilities will be considerably more than you can bear, look for another volunteering opportunity, matching your competency. Once you take part in a volunteering task, matching your needs and skills. You will certainly fall in love with it and devote more time to volunteer for such causes.         Check out our shop with all these resources:

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