#but i cant find it

[frayed-symphony]

It only took two decades to work out his hair

#drawing challenge #lloyd irving #tales of symphonia #im pretty sure i have more art of him from 2004 onwards #but i cant find it #so 2007 will have to do #myart

[charmac]

Hi! Do you have any thoughts on Mac and Mrs. Mac’s relationship? I find the whole McDonald family dynamic so interesting, but especially after season 16/frank shoots every member of the gang I’ve been fascinated by those two. You always have such impressive, well thought out answers!

Thank you!

I do have a lot of of thoughts regarding Mac's upbringing, especially in terms of his relationships with his family and how they clearly affect his current-day relationships and misconceptions of love, but I'm not sure I've really fleshed that out so, great question.

First of all, I have a gripe with Frank Shoots Every Member of the Gang, as it really insanely retcons Luther's age. Mac Kills His Dad established that he was 59 at the time, which would have made him a teen when he had Mac. Shoots establishes that Luther's dad served in WWII and wrote him letters during that time, which means he had to have been born before 1945, and would have been at youngest in his 30s when Mac was born. It's not like it's a huge issue, but it does change some previously-thought dynamics. (Though, the fact that they weren't younger-cast in A Sunny Christmas does better-align with the idea that they were in their 30s when they had Mac.)

There was/is always kind of the vibe that when they were together, pre-Luther going to jail, Ms. Mac did really love Luther and vice-versa, and Mac was more kind of like a by-product of unprotected sex more than he was a part of the family. (I mean, they named him after the Hamburger Clown). Luther clearly love(d) him as the idea of having a son, someone who could carry on his bidding and his name, but doesn't love him as the child he actually has. I think Ms. Mac didn't love him as the idea of a son and doesn't love him as the child she has, and never did. BUT she did love Luther, and Mac observed that as a young kid, his parents loving each other but neglecting him. Looking at Christmas, we can kind of assume the order of anything in Mac's childhood home was Ms. Mac > Luther > Mac. So for his early development he was kind of sidelined, saw no love from his parents toward him, but did see love between his parents (in a definitely not healthy way, as it goes).

We know in the deleted scenes of Sunny Christmas that Mac's dad is going to prison probably right after the events of the video tape... I honestly think it's reasonable to assume that Mac's screaming that woke up the residents of the house they were robbing might have been probably was what led to Luther being arrested (with whatever warrants he had hanging over him catching up with him once he had been detained). So, does Ms. Mac blame her son for her husband being locked up for the next 25 years? Probably. She didn't even want him, didn't care for him, and then his obnoxious behaviour was their downfall.

Back to Shoots, I did really like it for what it gave us in terms of (Char)Mac childhood lore. I think it definitely wasn't a shock for them to drop the cigarette lighter line, but it was a hit to the chest for me. Everything I kind of assumed before, re: didn't want or care about having a child equated to strictly-neglectful, Mac clawing for the love he saw his mom give his dad, now with his dad gone even more-so, and being brushed off, now escalated to retaliation in response to Mac failing to be brushed off. Sometimes the dismissive, grunting and not moving from your chair approach just doesn't work on a hyperactive little bastard like Mac, sometimes you have to make him shut up by giving him something else to fuss over. I think Ms. Mac probably hoped that would be what breaks through his skin, makes him realise she doesn't love him, but Mac only sees it as a warning, a pause, a try-again-later, mom's just in a bad mood.

Presently, what we see of Ms. Mac is almost always the same: completely indifferent. Shrug, cough, I don't care at all about you. Mac's a serial killer? Yeah. Mac's dead? Ok. You're gay? Meh. She'll fuck with him though, sure: your dad is actually Dutch. You wanted these letters that meant something to your father? I needed toilet paper. Who cares. She doesn't love him, never has, never will, and Mac has no ability to understand that.

Based on his upbringing and the past 20 years, I think he has a complete misunderstanding (and at this point inability) to recognise and understand what love is, mostly because of his mother. Because she just, doesn't love him, never did, but Mac thinks that parents have to love their children, that's a fact in his mind. If he has a mom and a dad they do love him, they have to, especially when he was a little boy, right? His dad loves him, he's just in jail so he can't show it, but his mom is here. And mom did love dad, he remembers that, he saw it, so he just has to make himself known, she can love him too because she's capable of it and she's his mom. He loves her, he says it over and over, she never says it, but she just doesn't see him because she's busy, working, or making a home for him, or just for some reason she's not paying attention... So love for Mac is fighting neglect, love is refusing to be ignored, love is pestering over and over because if you can get away with your bombardment without a finger being raised, without being scored by a cigarette lighter, they must really want you to continue... they must be waiting for you to really prove yourself before they show or admit their love for you. There are people in his life who have to love him, it's like a law, so they'll admit it as long as you keep asking, keep making yourself known, keep trying to prove yourself... and if it comes to the point where you're getting burned, stop for a minute, take a step back, and reevaluate how (or when) you can try again...

#iasip #mac mcdonald #ms mac #luther mcdonald #mac meta #i suppose... #do you like my leading ending #you can work out where that's going lol #i didn't go into sex bc it was hard to connect properly without it coming out weird or clunky #but it does loop there #clearly... #also ive def done some ask on this similarly before #but i cant find it #cos i never tag shit properly lol oh well #ty for the ask!!

[sag-dab-sar]

I wrote a post trying to figure out why on earth some Pagans & Witches refer to Imbolc (an Irish spring agricultural holiday associated with St Brigid, a potential Christianization of the Goddess Brigid/Bríg) as Candlemas, the completely Christian holiday celebrating The Purification of Mary & Presentation of Jesus at The Temple— which originated in the eastern part of the Roman Empire (which the only "pagan" aspect was it competing with Roman Lupercalia for celebrants).

Many pagan & witch spaces online have a constant disdain for Christianity thus I could not wrap my head around them using such an important point of Jesus' & Mary's life as one of their festivals/'sabbats'.... then, after writing a bunch of stuff, I stumbled onto the answer on Wikipedia's Wheel of The Year page, which has citations for its claims:

Margaret Murray (very early 20th century scholar) in her now discredited witch-cult hypothesis said that the Scottish "witch" Issobell Smyth in 1661 confessed to attending meetings for witches on the cross quarter days included Candlemas. Robert Graves (oh how I loathe you ehem I mean: poet folklorist), mentioned that Candlemas was part of the 8 ancient British agricultural festivals. And Doreen Valiente ("The Mother of Wicca") included Candlemas in her list of Greater Sabbat Fire Festivals, while also listing "Gaelic counterparts," in this case Imbolc.

Sigh.

Early (read: 19th-20th century) paganism and witchcraft, or scholarly work about it, really was just: put every claim regardless of accuracy from any culture in this jar, shake it up real good, see what pops out from the mix, then pretend its historically attested to and traditional despite any and all evidence.

Also whatever Wikipedia writer wrote this, I appreciate your sassiness ... even if it was unintentional:

Due to early Wicca's influence on modern paganism and the syncretic adoption of Anglo-Saxon and Celtic motifs, the most commonly used English festival names for the Wheel of the Year tend to be the Celtic ones introduced by Gardner and the mostly Germanic-derived names introduced by Kelly, regardless whether the celebrations are based on those cultures.

EDIT: To be clear, not all neo/pagans, witches, wiccans, occultists, people-who-use-wheel-of-year are anti-Christian! I'm not trying to say that. But as a worshipper of Mary now, I notice it more and more. Nor am I saying all those people follow Murray/Grave/Valiente blindly but published works and trusted blogs often seem to. This is simply an observation, I've taken notice of, its not the entire communities.

#wheel of the year #imbolc #imbolg #candlemas #pagan #neo pagan #polytheist #witch #annoying history #theres a great post on the actual irish holidays from ya know an irish perspective #but i cant find it #holiday #mariolatry #first sorrow #deletes previous draft #should have just read wheel of year article first #letsdebunk #tag seems appropriate i guess

[lesbianshepard]

Happy Ides, everyone!

#m #i DEFINITELY posted this here before #but i cant find it #and i went wayyyy back in my blog #anyway remember when cicero wasnt invited lmaooo

[dol-dee]

the whole pc / sydney / kylar dynamic is so weird and delicious.

You're previous childhood best friend is absolutely obsessed and infatuated with me. I originally resented you and slowly dragged you into depravity out of a selfish need to get you on my level. You are either unaware or purposefully oblivious to your ex-childhood best friends obsession (with me). You're still worried about them and want to be friends again*. I'm deeply uncomfortable with your childhoods ex-best friend's obsession (with me) and try to avoid them as much as possible.

You dyed your hair black bc you liked Kylars hair when you were little. You tell me that you're happy about our haircolors matching now

#*or something else 👀 #not really into love triangles normally but this hit #poly situationship scenario when? #also I swear I had an interaction with Sydney where they commented on how nice my black hair looks so they weren't worried about dying it #and that they're happy that we match now #but I cant find it #dol sydney #dol pc #dol rambles #dol kylar #sydlar #dolgl

[duelamort]

I love him. I love him like a father figure. I love him like, just like a father figure.

#hamilton fanart #hamilton musical #once again; this surely has been done before right? #my friend whispered 'his silly rabbit..' at the end of right hand man and i just lost it #that father figure quote is apparently also from the same interview #but i cant find it #either way. wash's silly rabbit. #draws tag

[halberdbooks]

Mina Murray Harker, with her deep hyperfixation on clean living, her beloved typing and fastidious document management, and of course, her special interest in trains.

#dracula #dracula daily #mina harker #mina murray #mina murray harker #im sure ive made this post before #but i cant find it

[mangocatastrophe]

Jus gonna plop this Dragonfruit fanart I made a few months back.

Love these two idiots, and I loved designing their outfits XD.

Dragonfruit goin’ dancin <3

#dragonfruit #mei x redson #redson x mei #dragonfruit lmk #mei dragon lmk #redson lmk #lego monkie kid #my art #mangocatastrophe #artists of tumblr #characters #fanart #dancing #ship art #MEI’S DRESS WAS A PAIN TO DRAW SHUSAHHAAAHHHHHHHH #I love Redsons suit #I’d wear that suit myself if I had it #I made a follow up comic of Redson dropping Mei #but I cant find it

[tag-if]

On a scale of least to most slowburn, where do all of the ROs lie? Can you tag this question with #slowburn, please?

least > most

K. Valiev > M. Serrel > A. Bellefleur > T. Bellefleur > A. Caras

#tag-if #the advisor's game #twine wip #ro ask #ro; a. bellefleur #ro; k. valiev #ro; a. caras #ro; t. bellefleur #ro; m. serrel #slowburn #i think i put a list somewhere earlier #but i cant find it #and i've probably changed stuff since then #so here we are

[chunkecheeks]

does anyone have that picture of the cats sitting in the movie theater i need it for the server icon

#it was the old server icon i need it BACK #but i cant find it

[mintaikk]

Lampent

#lampent #ghost types #technically a redraw of something i made in 2020 #but i cant find it #artist #small artist #artist on tumblr #art #artwork #digital art #digital artwork #digital artist #pokemon #pokemon fanart #pokemon art #pokemon artwork #digital drawing #digital painting

[stevenrogered]

you know what i really hate, when you go to buy something and the website doesnt have links for everything else the model is wearing bc HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND THE REST OF THE OUTFIT

#what do you mean i have to go looking for it myself #sometimes i go for the shoes and im like hmm i want the shirt instead #BUT I CANT FIND IT #do you see the problem here lol

[kissycat]

This one's like the wilderness without the world

I'm gonna miss those longs nights with the windows open

I keep re-reading the same lines always up at 5am every morning

Like a baby

#i feel i may have posted this before #but i cant find it #audio #p #Spotify

[ferngle]

I hate when you read an amazing fanfic, and then you don't save it or write the name down and then it's just lost forever! Like what the heck! Stop that! I want to read you again! Forever! GET OUT OF THE VOID!

Ive been looking for this damn fic for over a year! SHOW YOURSELF DAMN YOU!

#It's so vivid in my mind aswell #I wanna read it again so bad #BUT I CANT FIND IT #WHY #STOP #I losing my mind #It was so good #Just give it to me #I'm dieing #Help #It wasn't even finished yet! #Ahhhhh! #I'm gonna go cry in a corner #Like I do anytime I try to find this fic #i am mentally eel

[hefkerut]

oh i just found your blog and you are such a beautiful soul. i hope the world treats you as kindly as you walk upon it <3

The world's been very kind to me, I'm just trying to give back.

Don't forget that it takes one to know one, I'm sure you're a delight too, new mutual :3

#I was looking for that post about the bird saying I love you #but I cant find it #sorry :(( #thanks for the ask!

[sleepless-crows]

it is ben on the left

(source)

#that picture of the first cast photos but behind the scenes when they did that to ben too #but i cant find it #grishaverse #six of crows #soc #shadow and bone #sab cast #freddy carter #kit young #my edits #sleepless-crows #sabedit #shadowandboneedit