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#but like. every person i trust to come at this with good faith has said that the movie is fun bc mario references and j being silly fun
caruliaa · 1 year
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i hope the celling fan fall on yall 😒
#/ref obsessed with this phrase#anyway this is abt the fucingng obsession with the mario movie. dont wanna be a dick but omfg#the thing is like. a lot of the people just yk enjoy the fucking movie and thats fine and chill whatever#bowser sings one of my names at some point apparenty i dont have the right to complain whatever#but like. every person i trust to come at this with good faith has said that the movie is fun bc mario references and j being silly fun#whatever bla bla but other than thats it doesnt rly have much depth and like. isnt a superr great movie#but when everyone else comes at it with HOWW DAREE CRITICS NOT LIKE THE MARIO MOVIE ITS GOOD >:( its like. shut up#like you have to acknowledge when most of the joy of a movie comes from refernces not everyone gonna get#people arent going to treat it like its a masterpeice !! and thats okay whatever !!!#and the movie being fun without any other depth to it doenst automatically make it the most incredible movie ever#obvs the mario movies doesnt need to try to be emotional but like. you can make a movie thats but fun and emotionally impactful#at the same damm time !!!! its possible belive it or not !!!#the one of/most popular/well loved animated movie of last year and most popular movie overall of last year are both movies that#(while i havent seen one of them yet sorryy to the eeaaw girls 😶😶😶 will one day soon i prommy)#are both very fun and silly in places and known and loved for the emotinal impact they had on people cmon man !!#when the animated movie there is still in cinemas for many at the same time of the mario movie#the argument that the movie is fun or a kids movie so u shldnt expect any depth is dumb#the argument that its a mario movie and mario isnt a very plot heavy game makes more sense tho but i feel like#less ppl are making that for some reason? like it not no one but still. and the mario games are capable of depth sometimes#not to mention the reason having less depth with plot works is due to fun gameplay which idk if fun movie scenes can replicate fully#anyway enjoy the mario movie whatever have fun i literally love mario so fucking myslef and ik most ppl are like#being normal abt it and just enjoying a movie but man are the vocal minority just have fully put me off of it#my sibling is going tmrw and im not joining them bc im watching pibtlw w james+luce. but i also just dont wanna at this point#flappy rambles
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so. here's the thing about all the "information" we've been hearing about the qsmp restructing so far.
it's not. like. it's not really actually information. at least, it's nothing new. it's like. vague gestures in the direction of things that might be information.
antoine saying "i haven't heard any news" could mean that quackity has completely isolated himself from talking to anyone and isn't doing anything or it could mean that quackity has decided not to tell sensitive information to a guy who always says exactly what he's thinking immediately in public
bagi saying empanada is getting her life back could mean that the eggs are all in place with new contracts to come back actually paid or it could mean that another admin has gone rogue and is just making quick changes to appease the upset streamer
the fact of the matter is we don't have enough information to come to any conclusions. every new thing a person says referencing the restructuring is just another thing that does not make things clearer.
josé is definitely the guy who has the most potential to be interesting, but i have no idea why he's getting involved trying ot act as an intermediary between the workers and quackity after a union has already gotten involved and they're like. professionals at doing that. he keeps saying things that imply he might turn out to have information, but so far, he hasn't said anything that's actually information. he says he has a document, but he hasn't shown it to us yet
everything we know can be interpreted in a thousand different ways. maybe we haven't heard anything because the project is completely collapsing from the inside. maybe we haven't heard anything because anyone who could tell us anything is too busy doing the actual work of restructuring and renegotiating
here's my advice for everyone to keep from being driven to madness: stay your current course and wait for the restructuring to be finished
if you're staying away from qsmp because you lost trust in quackity, nothing has happened that should make you regain that trust
if you're sticking with qsmp because you still think it can be salvaged, nothing has happened that should make you lose faith
once the restructuring is finished and we can look at it and say "okay, this is definitely how they intend to handle things going forward" then we can judge if that way is good enough or not. but we're not there yet. just wait and see.
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elexaria · 3 months
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homebody! reader x könig drabble
kö would be such a good partner idc like i have brainrot about being his cute little housewife and hes my favourite grumpy but tender middle aged man I NEED HIM
you had never really been the type of person to settle down, always scoffing at the thought of being a house body, pottering around cleaning and doing boring shit.
but for him, its different.
you were used to könig’s deployments by now, and though you still feared for his life when he was on longer missions, you had enough trust and faith in him to know he would always come home back to you.
“as if i would ever leave your side, schatzi” he often hummed into your crown, taking in the gentle smell of your shampoo as he’d nuzzle into your locks.
“but what if—“
“Wenn ich für jedes Mal, wenn du sagst “aber was wäre, wenn“ einen Euro hätte .. i would be a rich man.” (if i had a euro for every time you said “but what if”..)
when könig proposed you leaving your job, adamant he could afford for you to stay at home, you complained about how boring it would be when he wasn’t home. he swore up and down that, believe him, you would never be bored. you wanna go see your friends and have cocktails? just let him know, your kö will look after you. you think the kitchen could do with a revamp? hey, so long as you don’t throw away the nice fancy blender he got for his smoothies, he doesn’t care.
and, weirdly, you enjoy cleaning now. it breaks up the monotony of the wait, the excitement building up inside you as you know he’ll finally be home. and that’s what makes it easier to get through the mundane house cleaning, knowing he gets to come home to a clean home after months of grime and sweat.
with that, you still find yourself twitch as you hear the front door unlock. könig lets out a sigh as he drops his duffle bag on the floor, his eyes closing for a moment as he physically relaxes just from taking one step into his home.
almost as if he has a sixth sense for you, könig walks into the kitchen. with three large paces, he’s towering over you. black grease paint smudged around his eyes, his sniper hood and mask in his hands. he hasn’t maintained a decent shave, wry blonde stubble peppering his cheekbones. with a fond smile, you reach out to gently stroke his cheek.
he doesnt even smile back, he just grunts as he lowers himself down, wrapping his bulky arms just around your figure, eyes closing as he rests in the crook of your neck. his musky smell is a familiar one, one hes often annoyed about and insists its not okay for him to smell like that around you. you laugh at how anal he is about hygiene, insisting he doesn’t even smell bad, it’s a strangely comforting smell. and it kind of turns you on, in a weird way.
but that’s besides the point. he’s so tired, his body softening as he holds you. your hand strokes the back of his head, fingernails gently raking his scalp with a comforting touch. he’s melting, right there, just for you. he lets out a few grumbles, ones you’ve come to learn are ones of satisfaction. god knows what he’s saying, it’s neither german nor english. gernglish?
and that’s why you don’t mind the lonely nights where he’s away, where it’s only you laying in bed, consciously aware of how big the room feels without könig’s large bouldering frame to fill it.
because in these tender moments, where he’s resting with his head on your shoulder while his arms wrap around you from behind, eyes closed as you make him a comforting meal to welcome him back, you don’t even remember what it was like to even be alone in the first place.
<3
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celaenaeiln · 7 months
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Hiii, I don't really know if you made a post about this or not, but can I ask what you think of damian and dick's relationship? you have a really deep insight on the bat family's relationship, so I'm curious on how you would describe those two
Damian and Dick are probably the most important to each other in the family with the other being each other's most favorite person in the world. Dick is Damian's father, brother, mentor, and best friend. Actually it's reflective of Dick's relationship with Bruce but none of the toxic expectations and brute force of misplaced responsibilities.
Dick is loving and understanding of Damian and he's able to read him before Damian can even express his words.
For example, when the Black Lantern things open the caskets of Martha and Thomas Wayne, Dick asks Damian to help him wrap up the bodies but-
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Blackest Night: Batman Issue #1
He's able to anticipate and take care of Damian before Damian can even tell him what he's thinking. That's the level of love and understanding Dick has of him.
Damian is insanely protective over Dick. When Deadman, Boston Brand, jumps into Dick, Damian gets super protective of his Batman.
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Blackest Night: Batman Issue #1
Also Dick CANNOT STAND IT when someone hurts or insults Damian.
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Blackest Night: Batman Issue #1
Honestly I think Dick loves Damian's sass. Even when he says he wants to kill people Dick's just like, "not today another day kiddo" which is just super heartwarming when you hear their banter.
Anyways, Dick and Damian have the funniest back and forth!
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Batman and Robin (2009) Issue #21
Damian values each and every word of Dick's.
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Batman: Streets of Gotham Issue #1
While Damian respects Batman for what he created and wants to be appreciated as his son, Damian just loves Dick for who he is. I know some people think Bruce may be jealous of Dick and Damian's relationship, and while it's possible, I think Bruce is just super proud and happy. His greatest joy in life comes from Dick succeeding and he would have found it weird if Dick and Damian didn't get along because he inherently believes that Dick is the peak of goodness.
What I love most about Dick and Damian is that Damian is always shown as a loveable kid when he's with Dick. In the Batman and Robin (2011) comics with Bruce and Damian vs the Batman and Robin (2009) comics with Dick and Damian, Damian is much softer. Part of this comes from Bruce's refusal to treat him as robin originally, but their interactions are more stilted than the easy-going and funny ones between Damian and his big brother. But here's where it gets interesting. The writers write the characters in terms of how they would react to each other. What perception they would have of each other. So subconsciously the writers are creating the characters based on how they look at each other - meaning, Dick only sees Damian's good sides and finds his darker ones humorous whereas Bruce sees more of Damian's darker sides and has to rework himself to acknowledge Damian's growth.
I find that so fascinating how a character's personality in accordance with their relationships feeds back into the writer's writing rather than the writer influencing the relationships.
The most Dick has said about Damian willing to kill criminals is-
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Batman: Streets of Gotham Issue #3
Another reason why Damian values Dick aside from being on the receiving end of his unconditional love is that Dick treats Damian like an equal. Dick doesn't command Damian to stay at his side at all times, he send Damian to do one task while he finishes up the other half. This indicates the amount of trust and faith he has in Robin's abilities and Damian in turn respects that.
Something that needs to be brought to attention is that just as much as Dick stops Damian from killing people, he is also his number one aiding and abetting partner.
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #1
I LOVE THE MEAN LITTLE GRIN ON HIS FACE!!
My favorite part is Dick makes time for Damian just to have fun. He's a mentor and a father, but he's also the best brother someone could ask for.
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #4
Honestly Gotham War Issue #138 was so confusing to me because there's just no way Damian would pander mindlessly to receive Bruce's acceptance. He literally broke from Batman to become his own person - he ran away - and suddenly he's back and begging for Bruce's love?? Even fighting over Dick is fine but the lack of connection between them?
Damian is single handedly the most important person in the world to Dick.
Damian is Dick's son.
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Robin (2021) Issue #5
I find their relationship special because this is the only in his entire time life that Dick has ever given away a family momento of his own volition first. His parents and his background mean the utmost to him; he cradles the memories with longing and love. But inspite all this, he's giving away the last piece of family history. No, giving away isn't the right word. He's passing down his legacy. Damian is his son, he's literally inheriting the Grayson legacy in the way that only Dick can give. Bruce gave the kids Dick's mantle but he cannot give any of them Dick's history but Dick gave that to Damian. That's beautiful.
He straight up says it too
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Nighwing (2016) Issue #20
"When your dad came back, there was a moment I thought it would be better for you if you stayed with me. As my partner. As my..." "Really?" "Yeah."
DC SAID DICK AND DAMIAN FATHER AND SON RIGHTS AS CLOSE AS THEY COULD WITHOUT TAKING AWAY BRUCE'S BLOOD CLAIM.
Damian considers Dick his father.
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Nighwing (2016) Issue #18
"Finding a new life. Considering a child to replace me. I don't know what I will be...alone. I need you here, Richard."
"Considering a child to replace me. "
Damian is heartbroken at the idea that Dick will have a kid and move on.
He loves Dick so much he goes all the way to Bludhaven just because he loves and misses him after Bruce took over as Batman.
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Nighwing (2016) Issue #20
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Batman Incorporated (2012) Issue #8
"Are you with me Nightwing? The odds are completely against us."
"When did we ever let something like that get in the way? Robin the boy wonder, Damian."
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Batman Incorporated (2012) Issue #8
"So far I'd say you've been my favorite partner. We were the best, Richard. Not matter what anyone thinks."
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Robin (2021) Issue #5
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #20
The world can stand against Damian but Dick will always be on his side.
Which is a problem in recent DC works because
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Dick & Damian:
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og panels Batman & Robin (2009) Issue #17
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sepublic · 1 year
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The Collector’s story is so sad to me because they really do try!!! They are putting in the effort to be better!!! They defy the other collectors’ policy of imprisonment and genocide, for the sake of the Titans! They go along with Philip’s plans, giving him the draining spell and a bunch of other magic! And they listen to King’s Owl House rules, they’re gradually adjusting their behavior according to his advice, respecting his boundaries, even letting him get away with Eda and Lilith!
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He’s learning. He really is doing all he can to improve, he’s listening. But the Collector isn’t doing it fast enough, they haven’t figured it out quickly; So it feels like for the adults and everyone else around them, they don’t want to put in the effort to teach and rehabilitate this kid. That’s too long and arduous, it’s much easier to stick him in a prison and hide it, or even kill the kid.
The Collector invests so much good-faith effort into changing for people, but those around him? They don’t want to reciprocate the same effort to understand him in return, that’s how it feels. They demand so much but give nothing back, use the Collector. And would rather take the easy route of punishing the kid to make him shut up for their convenience, instead of really working to talk with him at his level, and explain how to get better. There’s this silent, genuine, hurt and confused question echoing from the Collector; “What did I do wrong?”
It really does feel like one big metaphor for neurodivergent kids, and children in general, who are seen as misbehaving troublemakers. And rather than taking the time to understand their perspectives, and communicate to them about the problem, adults would rather just hit them until they’re quiet.
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Because it’s easier, more convenient that way, like sweeping dust under the rug. Even if it just makes this kid who IS willing to improve feel neglected, unappreciated; Allows their problems to fester untouched and unseen, until it boils over and explodes later in life. And suddenly adults are all shocked because He was such a quiet, obedient kid, who could’ve seen this coming?!
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The Collector feels like the collective wrath of so many kids who were treated like inconveniences to deal with, rather than growing children who needed help and guidance. And boy is the Collector messy about it, because they’re tired of playing by other people’s rules and trying to appeal to them with good behavior, in exchange for compassion, because that clearly hasn’t worked out and never will.
They are every child who has asked Why about a rule, and instead of being treated like a person with an honest need to know, was just told Because I said so. They want to get it, but people just prefer them being blindly subservient; People don’t care what the Collector thinks, so why should he feel the same for their judgment? The kid is panicked when he insists King focus on the revision he made to the storybook, the lesson he learned, but he’s still being put away for what others wrote.
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“You can trust me” is something Philip and King have both told them, and maybe that parallels how adults insist children follow their seemingly arbitrary rules even without knowing why, because “It’s the rules” and authority dictates all. So after struggling under that command, of course the Collector is eager to be the one wielding it this time, with his rules...
The rules of a game. The rules of behavior. Both are laws dictated for people to follow, with someone often deciding and being able to change them as they see fit, especially with childrens’ playground games. Life is a big game and the Collector wants to play his own, after all this time following others’ rules; His people’s, the Titans’, Philip’s, and finally King’s.
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There’s a lot to be said about how we expected the Collector to have been someone who didn’t play by any rules, did whatever he pleased. But it might just be the opposite, the kid has never had true freedom, always subject and listening to what someone else tells them, because they’re in charge or it’s the moral thing to do. They’ve been imprisoned their whole life, literally even, and now their desire for agency has burst free.
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The Collector wasn’t the god of chaos we thought they were, but now they will be and we’ve seen why; It’s not because there weren’t any rules for them, it’s because there were too many, and the more you tighten your grip, the more something slips free. Too much authority, too little, the kid needs a proper balance of contradictory lessons, like so many in this show...
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lemongizumo · 8 days
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I didn’t want to make any public posts about what’s been happening in the past days in our fandom because of my health issues. Some of you know, mostly people I consider my friends now, others because I was offering emergency commissions to solve hospital and treatment costs, but my health isn’t that good lately and the level of drama, intensity and everything around this topic was affecting me. Still is a bit. However, after everything that has come out, so many similar experiences, so many people being manipulated, hurt and damaged because of this one individual who I considered my friend, I can’t remain silent anymore. I just can’t. I’m still shocked and feeling so many emotions, from sadness to concern, from disappointment to anger. Even guilty for not realizing how disgusting this person was. It’s unbelievable.
I won’t go into any details, those involved know everything that needs to be known. I will not share screenshots either but there are plenty to prove what this person tried to do until the end and how many people she damaged.
I became her friend months ago, around August/September of last year. I considered her a real friend, a good one even, she was nice to me all the time and talked to me every day for all these months. She bought my friendship with love bombing, gifts, with praise about my art and me, a fucking naïve idiot, thought she was sincere. I never noticed the red flags until it was too late, how she was collecting artists along the way and discarding the ones that weren’t useful. She was after popular people, writers and artists, anyone that could give her status. She wanted her name seen everywhere and she invaded every space she could. She also promoted her server to anybody who had big numbers or was known in the HG fandom.
I didn’t know anybody in the fandom, only some names I followed because I admired their art or writing. I always spent my days in any fandom as a spectator, doing fanart and having casual conversations but not getting close to anybody. She was the first person I let get close to me.
I trusted her and that was a mistake I’ll regret for a long time.
She took advantage of me not knowing anybody, she used me as a dumpster bin to trash talk about others, she played victim over and over again, she claimed some people hated her, and she made me believe so many things that I later discovered weren’t real. She twisted reality to her convenience; she created a false narrative where she was the poor victim who was attacked constantly and that she only wanted the best for everybody. She just wanted to be ‘nice.’
Knowing English isn’t my first language and sometimes it’s hard for me to understand certain expressions, she used that to be able to act as a bigot without me noticing until it was too late.
And I believed her. I believe every single fucking word she said about others, because why would she lie? She was just trusting me with things, right? She was just warning me about people, she cared about me, she was just looking out for me.
I’m a good friend, I know I am. Friendship has always been important to me, and I’m faithful to whoever I care about. I thought I was being a good friend to her by defending her and giving her my thoughts and opinions about all these ‘awful’ people who didn’t like her and were against her.
She just wanted an ally.
Her love bombing and praise only lasted until I didn’t act the way she wanted.
I confronted one of her ‘friends’ in her server after that person was exposing an innocent writer just to humiliate them. I was mistreated and attacked. She, the owner, didn’t do anything to stop it while I was telling her in dms what was happening. She didn’t do anything at all because she didn’t care.
She didn’t care either when I showed her proof that her friend was a terf. I was worried, I was so naïve I thought maybe this person didn’t know about her friend being transphobic. But she knew. She didn’t act surprised, she just did her best to clarify she wasn’t a terf ‘by association’ in between jokes and tried to justify her friend over and over again. She dismissed my worries and acted like it wasn’t such a big deal.
I trusted her to the point I felt safe enough to tell her I am autistic and how hard it was growing up not knowing that, how everyone treated me as if I was dumb when I was a kid and a teenager. Her attitude towards me changed after she knew my diagnosis. From treating me like I was a child to a condescending way to talk to me whenever I did ‘wrong.’
I supported her when she decided to create a BB just to be called silly and treated as stupid because I wouldn’t join if the terf was there. She simply didn’t care I was affected because I’m non-binary and trans. She just wanted artists for her shitty event because she needed to make a name among other events. She kept insisting that I join, even after she knew the terf was going to be a part of the event. She wanted me to be a pinch hitter artist.
I finally opened my eyes after my medical emergency in February. I decided to open emergency commissions to help with the costs and that led me to talk to people I never talked to before. People this individual didn’t want me to talk to.
I don’t know why things happen but everything seems to happen for a reason. Some people that reached out to me to help me were people this individual talked shit about over and over again for months. And to my surprise, they were nothing like I was made to believe. On the contrary, these people were sweet, nice, and were actually sincere.
Her reaction to me talking to them was passive-aggressive comments, jokily threats and playing the victim. She also started giving me the silent treatment in order to manipulate me again. Which, luckily, didn’t work.
This disgusting individual lied so much I have spent the last few days wondering how much of what she said was true and how much was bullshit. She tried to mess with friendships, she tried to ruin a relationship, she made racist and transphobic comments, she lied about so many people that didn’t deserve it, she thought her lies wouldn’t catch up to her and kept acting like a ‘mean girl’ who wanted to be number one in popularity. She thought having popular friends, who she bragged about, would keep her away from anything.
She thought she was safe and that I was stupid enough to keep believing her.
I’m not stupid. I never was.
And I will not remain silent while she still plays victim, while she decided to blame ME for all of her fucking mess.
When this whole thing exploded, she desperately tried to convince someone she wasn’t bad, that it was all a misunderstanding and that she was just venting to me. A good pity party because she was being called out and she didn’t expect it. She tried to convince them that I was to blame. She didn’t hesitate to throw me under the bus, to make anyone believe I was the villain, exposing me with screenshots, for all we know, were probably manipulated by her. It is now known that she edits, changes and deletes messages.
I’m not a villain for exposing the truth to people I now care about. To people who have been nothing but nice to me even tho they are aware I said awful things about them based on what this individual told me. She tried to brainwash me with her lies and almost succeeded.
The past few weeks have been hard. But it’s harder to see how many others she hurt.
She’s not a good person no matter how much she tried to act like one. Her disgusting behavior led to so much damage and she got me involved in it, using me until the end.
This behavior is not ‘fandom drama,’ it is dangerous behavior, one that should not be tolerated or accepted. Fandom is not a place to escalate in popularity, to surround yourself with popular artists just to get something from them. Fandom should be a safe place for us to enjoy, to escape from reality, from the real world that is hard enough for so many of us.
I will not let her step on me anymore. I will not be her scapegoat. And she will not get my sympathy anymore.
Please be safe out there, do not let these people harm us anymore. This individual and her fucking terf friend can go fuck themselves.
I am so tired.
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leona in club leadership
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Me: I’m safe after the hitman that was Epel’s Birthday Jacket jumpscared me with the “Leona is a reliable senpai” talk Broomquet Leona: Broomquet Leona: *slowly raises the broom for a bonking*
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why Why WHY
THGiS KeEEP S HAPPENinQ GgGggGggGGGGGGggggggg OTL wW E KJEEPA GETTIGN FL*ONA BEING A Goo D CAPTaiN SENAPI MENT0oe ER tPO HIS CLUB mQME MBers AND UNdERCLASMeN I'T S' DRIVXINw fG ME UP THE qm FUCKKERIQQaqBG gg gnK d WALLLLLLLLLLL
I THOUGHT I HAD PUT IT ALL BEHIND ME BUT NO 😭 HERE COMES CATER BAITING LEONA TO TAL K ABOUT AMGIFT /SPELLDrIV3 CLBU IN THS BROOMQUET......... . . ........ .. . ... . . . .. . QHJEBIYslbiufadbadf TO GET THESE THOUGHTS OUTTA MY HEAD I'M GONNA RANT A ND RAVE A LIL' aboUT L*ONA AND HIS cLUB
Alright, so. 🤡 We all know that Leona's the captain of the Magical Shift/Spelldrive Club at NRC (moving forward, I will refer to this as "Magift Club", since that's the shortest phrase). What's more is, we actually get quite a bit of information about how he goes around running the club and training its members (although the information is scattered across various vignettes, so it may be difficult to piece it all together if you don't know where to look or don't read certain vignettes). THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF THOUGH, THIS IS A GOLD MINE OF LuONA CHA EARCTERiXATION AND I'M GOINOG TO POP of DFF ABOUT IT
Firstly! In book 2 of the main story, Jack tells us that he was impressed by Leona's amazing play in a Magift game three years ago. This would later become a part of Jack's motivation to attend Night Raven College--so he could become a great athlete, and, perhaps, get to play against or alongside that player that he admired so much. Even when Jack learns that Leona is playing dirty to eliminated Diasomnia from the interdorm tournament, Jack exposes that he believes Leona is capable of securing a victory by playing fairly. Maybe you could call it a freshman's naive beliefs, but Jack knows that Leona is better than this. What book 2 shows us is that Leona is willing to resort to underhanded tactics to come out on top--but he's also very skilled in his own right, both physically and intellectually, and even at his lowest points, he has people who trust him to lead them: people like Jack. But where does this faith and respect come from???????? For that, we'll have to dive into additional materials.
In many vignettes, such as Ace's PE Uniform and Ruggie's Outdoor Wear, we hear from other characters that the Magift Club members train rigorously (usually to the point of exhaustion). Ruggie, a fellow Magift Club member, confesses to his inexperience; he never played Magift before coming to NRC and he's not a born athlete. He seriously considered quitting the club due to their physically demanding practice and training. However, Ruggie credits Leona for the vast improvement he has made, citing that Leona would give him all kinds of assignments to hone his skills. More importantly, doing all of these assignments also taught Ruggie how to endure and persist in the face of adversity. Ruggie could have just lied here and said the training was easy to quickly and artificially inflate the numbers of new recruits he pulls in to please Leona (some of the new recruits would end up dropping out anyway) BUT HE DOESN'T. This leads me to believe that Ruggie is being honest about what it takes to be in Magift Club and is genuinely praising Leona's guidance as a part of why it's beneficial to join. "Leona makes every session worthwhile [...] He makes all the calls during our games, but otherwise lets us do our thing. Which means we can work out our problem spots for ourselves. He's a great captain!"
Epel, the other main cast member in Magift Club, has not yet joined at the time of the flashback in Ruggie's Outdoor Wear vignette. Upon hearing Ruggie's praise of Leona, Epel gets the impression that Leona is an incredible person. Post-joining the club, this impression continues. In his Birthday Jacket vignettes, Epel describes Leona as someone who is quick-witted, fierce-looking, and has a cool personality. He really admires Leona and wants to be like him someday, making him the second first year that has these sort of sentiments. Epel tells stories similar to Ruggie, saying that Leona has helped him out a lot during club and is generally good at looking out for others. He specifically mentions that everyone counts on Leona for his leadership during games and provides individualized advice to help each team member improve (details which supports what Ruggie initially told the freshmen). People outside of Leona’s reign also comment on this, such as Ace in Endless Halloween Night. He remarks that the first thing Leona thought to do was untie Epel; this leads Ace to conclude that Leona, does, in fact, look out for people despite how he usually acts 🤡
Epel also says that he "knows" Leona would help him study if he were on the verge of failing a class. AND YOU KNOW WHAT??????????? Leona actually DOES tutor Ruggie (who initially descibes his grades as being "in the dumpster") and gives advice and materials to him. Now Ruggie's grades are average, but passing. In his Labwear vignettes, Leona doesn't formally teach Epel, but he does make a voice-changing potion to help Epel out (although his own ulterior motive was to avoid Rook, who was the one that originally helped Epel). When Epel and Grim then beg Leona to show them his technique, he refuses and seems annoyed at their requests. In other words, Leona doesn't seem eager to teach others unless it serves a purpose for himself.
Leons is oftentimes pushing others to perform well, and in a way that serves a dual purpose of helping the individual out but also ultimately benefitting him. For example, Leona helps sand Azul’s contracts because he wants to as terminate an agreement he has with Azul. Additionally, he plots in book 2 not only to help his dorm mates be noticed by Magift scouts, but also to prove his own worth as a leader. In yet another instance, Leona shows students outside of his club how to efficiently mine for magestone so they can fulfill their goal and earn a Vargas Badge. This clears them out of the cave so he can nap there. Leona is working smarter, not necessarily harder. Relating this to Magift Club... As Ruggie and Epel have told us, Leona runs his members ragged during practice. As a rich kid and royalty, he’s said to have a natural inclination for being demanding and ordering others around—but there’s always some kind of compensation or reward for following orders well. Ruggie gets many perks from doing Leona’s errands and chores for him, so he willingly follows Leona. For the Magift Club, the intense training causes those unable or unwilling to keep up to quit, leaving behind the go-getters, the tough, and the willful. Not only are these the types of people most likely to do well in actually playing the sport, but they’re also the types of people Leona himself is seeking with play with.
When your players are willing and able to train hard and by themselves (knowing what their strengths and weaknesses are, as well as how to improve), it encourages… independence. It means less work for the captain to do. It means having a group of people who are obedient and obey your every word. It means Leona can get away with napping during club practice. He's working them hard now so they can take care of themselves later and he has to do less. That seems to be the implication in some instances, as Riddle had noted before that, “it has been a while since [he has seen Leona] sincerely apply himself to his club activities.” (That's because Leona has already trained his team to be comfortable train on their own! This is demonstrated in the flashback of his Beastly Garb vignettes, when Leona instructs his club to do cooldown exercises "on their own while he heads off to nap.) And believe me, when he’s “applying himself”, his talent shines through (just as his intelligence does when he wants to employ it). As Epel and Ruggie say in Leona’s Halloween vignette (flashback), 5 people tried to get the disc away from Leona for 30 minutes and still weren’t successful while Leona barely broke a sweat. Part of the reason why Leona is able to afford bossing his team members around is because he can walk the walk. His own abilities, then, also serve as a point of motivation for the rest of the team. They want to be able to perform on the same level as him, want the honor to play with someone like that. We see one prominent example of this in his Dorm Uniform vignettes. In them, Jack is being bullied by Savanaclaw (senpai) mobs because they're annoyed with his athletic abilities and righteous attitude. These mobs also accurse Leona of being unworthy to lead them because "all [he does] is slack off during practice". They quickly learn the true magnitude of Leona's strength when he defends Jack from 30 mobs at once, not only demonstrating that he is fit for the title of captain, but also someone that has earned Jack's respect.
Though the Dorm Uniform vignettes ultimately frame Leona as siding with Jack, there is a lot of strategic thinking and wisdom in the advice he imparts to both parties involved in the quarrel. He argues in favor of the mobs "skirting the rules", which falls in line with his willingness to disregard morality so long as he achieves an end goal (see: his actions against Azul in book 3, and his actions in book 2 against Malleus). In this case, Jack preaching about playing by the rules is getting in the way of their goals (which will resurface in book 2). That's why he gets put in time-out to "think about his actions", and how he sees the world as black and white, evil and good. To Leona, it's not cheating, it's just playing smart and within the rules specifically specified (the mobs still acted within the boundaries set by rules) or what isn't specifically outlawed (they can't lose to Malleus if he can't play to begin with) to get what he wants. To this point, Leona also sees no shame in strategic retreats and surrenders. This is illustrated by him willingly turning himself into STYX when they approach, and passing on temporary leadership to Ruggie while he's gone. Again, he's just working with what he has in the systems that are presented to him, and he expects everyone else to be able to play the same game. While Leona tells Jack off, it's also true that Leona does have some code of honor as it relates to his own interests; he tells the mobs they're acting embarrassing by "punching down" and being jealous of a freshman. This doesn't come from a place of concern for Jack, or from worry about their attitude, but primarily from irritation that he has to clean up after their behavior. As we see in book 2, Leona himself has no issue with playing Magift against freshmen who are new to the sport (Ace, Deuce, etc.) when they've come unannounced into his dormitory. It's Jack who has to intervene there and call Leona out for picking on the small fry. Even Leona warning the mobs for using magic outside of Magift is a ploy to serve his own agenda. It's against school rules to use magic unless instructed; Leona is, therefore, against his students wailing on Jack using magic instead of fists because it could attract undue attention from staff (and thus cause issues for him, as their dorm leader). This is also why Leona wants to take on the Heartslabyul detective group in a game of Magift instead of just fighting them then and there; it's to avoid causing such a ruckus right before the big interdorm tournament. Leona has a problem with people challenging his authority and making unnecessary trouble for him to fix. When it serves his interests, he'll turn, and/or he won't side completely with one party. He can easily see the pros and the cons of both sides. If Jack is black and white, then Leona is all grey.
This is another notable quality of Leona's: he can identify and understand people's strengths and weaknesses, sometimes even better than they do themselves. His own club members can attest to how Leona gives them specific advice to improve their skills. In fact, we get to see one instance of it in Leona's Beastly Garb vignettes. Epel asks Leona for advice on how to better control the disc, since he's been missing passes and dropping them a lot. Leona responds by telling him not to worry about it and then walking off. A lot of people might look at this and say "he's just being lazy and shirking his work again". But later in the vignette, Leona explains his rationale: Epel's strength is his speed. When he's handling a disc as he's flying, that significantly cuts down on that speed and hinders his overall performance. If Epel tries to get better at all these things at once, he'll neglect his actual strength and not be useful to the team. Leona reasons that since making objects float is a fundamental skill for a mage, Epel will naturally practice it more and improve with time, so in the meantime he should dedicate his time in club to what he's already got as an asset.
This discerning eye is not just limited to club members, either. Leona has shown that, time and time again, he can key in on people. It was Leona who recognized Ace's craftiness and how Ace planned to use Leona's presence to his own advantage in Endless Halloween Night. Leona doesn't worry about the potential harm a wayward disc could have caused Riddle because he knows Riddle could easily deflect it with his own magic (in Ace's PE vignette). He alone noticed that Jamil's eyes "always glare" and senses his malicious intent against Kalim (in Jamil's School Uniform vignette). This is WAY before the events of book 4 ever came out too. Then, in book 6, Leona points out that Ruggie knows how keep to the strongest people to make up for his own deficits, how Jack knows how to adhere to a hierarchy, and how even Kalim has strengths in how amicable he is, and the wealth he was born into. He knows when people aren't meeting their full potential too, telling Jamil that he keeps making excuses instead of actually acting.
What makes the whole conversation Leona has with Jamil so great is that a lot of what is said is relatable for the two of them. Leona, too, knows what it's like to be in a situation where others shun his talents in favor of another. That's why he's able to speak so pointedly on the matter. It's that connection that helps to move Jamil and motivate him to finally act on his own to fulfill a support role for Leona that he needs later on. There's a parallel here with how Leona acted in book 2; he tried and tried and tried, and when he failed, he sat down and gave it all up, blaming his team mates and claiming he played along with their game. Leona was a quitter before. But now he's seeing that same behavior in others and he's calling it out, bluntly posing the question of if they're going to continue to wallow or if they're going to pick themselves up and move forward. It's the same lesson that HE had to learn for himself. If you consider that his Dorm Uniform vignettes play out prior to book 2, it becomes even more fitting for his growth since he tells Jack back then: "[...] guys who own up to their mistakes are all right in my book. Keep at it and model that behavior for the rest of Savanaclaw." This is Leona owning up to his own mistakes. He never openly and formally apologizes what his wrongdoings or promised to "be better" (then again, some OB boys just don't), but he's making up for his past behavior by imparting the wisdom he learned with his peers, whether subconsciously (like, out of guilt) or consciously.
This all goes hand-in-hand with the high standards Leona has set for Magift Club. Cater asks him for the details of his club's training (in Leona's Broomquet), to which the birthday boy responds with a story about how a team member didn't have enough stamina for a game, so instead of training them to pass the disc, he purposefully chucked the disc as far as it would go. It's to demonstrate to the club member that was lacking in stamina that this is the distance they need to be able to go, and this is their current disparity. It comes off as perhaps too harsh (and certainly a means to quit the club), but as Leona puts it, he doesn't want nor need cowards with him. His team should be full of people who get frustrated when they cannot meet their goals and will actively think about how to be better, then come back and try again and again. Think of it like how Mulan found smarter ways to tackle the challenges put forth by the army, rather than training the conventional way. That's what Leona expects of his club members, and it's the same mentality that drives himself. Tackling the same problem using creative solutions--it's like a game of chess. qbkhldyuFVYOwovyifS ;fslh ihof Aana dnAn thEN MCaER T SAYS smsethbha TH LIKE "waaaah~ Leona-kun is such a cool leader~" AFSHYJASVYOIFADOS AND THANE THAT FUCKE R LONA ' JUST G oeaS "this is to be expected of every leader, it's the basics" UNM???????? ??? ??? ???? ? BITCH EXCUSE YOU???? ???? ??? ? ? ? ? ? 😭 IW ANS'T EXPEC TING TO BE FUCXKIGFN A ATTACKED LKIKE THIS, CA T MAN
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I'AMSD Rr ReALLY OUTR HESR RE HAVE ING A WHOEL EXISSITENTIAL CRISIS AND AND AHGALF BECUAA SEO F L I O N M A N OTL I'M OWED MONETY FOR EMOTIUAONL DAMAMGES YOI'LL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER, K I NG SC HO L AR
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P.S. I'M SO SCARE D THAT HE'S GONNA OUTRPAVE ROOO K ON MY FAOVRIRTS LIST I'M SOC UFKC IUNG SCARED
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illegiblewords · 4 months
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SOME ILLEGIBLE RAMBLES AND REFLECTIONS: MISSING WYLL
Jumping off my last analytical post for BG3, I actually do want to talk about Wyll a little. Wyll has been the companion I've had the trickiest time sorting thoughts out on. I do have thoughts on him, and frankly I want to invite people who are mainly Wyll fans to chime in if they have any observations that I might've missed! I don't know if this is the best way to explain it, but my perspective is if his story were a song I'd say he has the makings of a beautiful one--but there are notes missing. Notes that really, really should be there . I don't know why they aren't there, or if they've been hidden somewhere I haven't found yet.
As usual, longass discussion under the cut.
Here is my understanding of Wyll currently, without grabbing specific quotes.
Ulder Ravegard is his dad, who was a humble blacksmith who rose to nobility through some exceptional effort and personal achievement. Pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps sort of guy, takes pride in being compassionate and dealing with others in good faith. Raised Wyll not to consider himself better than anyone due to his status, but also seems to have imparted a lot of lawful good mentalities tbh. One thing that stood out a lot to me was a line Wyll said in Act III about how as a kid, he used to pretend to kill monsters in the park all the time. When he became an actual monster hunter as the Blade of Frontiers he had the disquieting realization that most monsters in reality are only people, just like him and his friends. This is interesting to me because it was NOT a lesson he got as a kid, and from how Ulder treats Wyll I don't think it's something Ulder is quite comfortable with himself. I'd go so far as to argue that, while Ulder's definition of 'good' is genuinely very good--it doesn't leave a lot of tolerance for anyone outside that. His compassion only goes so far and no farther. He's a little black-and-white in his thinking.
Side note: Wyll seems to treat being Blade of Frontiers like being a two-dimensional hero in a storybook at times. The Act III line where he admits it's all just messy people was so fucking interesting, and I wish there was more examination of the messy morality of trying to fight monsters or even understand what monsters are for him. Being good isn't easy or guaranteed and the most impressive title in the world doesn't prove you're actually a hero. Actions come before reputation.
Wyll was, according to the previous point, raised to be the embodiment of lawful good as Ulder saw it. Be selfless, don't indulge in finery or status, be noble, make sacrifices for the greater good. With that in-mind, I want to point out that for all Wyll doesn't like courtly life he loves to dance as something more aligned to that courtly lifestyle. It's one of the things he has left that continues to give him joy. It's an indulgence.
Wyll, as raised by Ulder, sacrifices his own well-being and future in his pact with Mizora to ensure no one else in Baldur's Gate came to harm. He was also bound in such a way that prevented him from explaining what happened or why. When Ulder saw his son return home with one eye, pacted to a devil, obviously in a lot of distress and struggling to explain something... Ulder's reaction wasn't to trust his son's morality or feel concern for him. Ulder decided to hurl out all history, all individual understanding of Wyll's character, and chuck Wyll out like he was a pure evil aligned monster and always had been. He just assumed Wyll was the embodiment of every selfish, depraved impulse he could imagine and a traitor to every cause he believed in. He also does not change his mind on this unless forcibly shown through the tadpole what actually transpired. He is not willing to listen or consider alternate perspectives, and I'd argue he loved his son as an abstract concept/extension of his own moral beliefs more than as his own person. (And as an aside: given how Ulder reacted to Wyll without even knowing his situation, do you think he would be ready to show compassion to someone like Astarion who has done horrific things to others under coercion?)
Note, Wyll never actually deals with previous point emotionally. He never allows himself to feel anger or grief over the way his own father treated him. He never lashes out at Ulder on his own behalf for not seeing him as a person, for not treating him as a person, for not loving him as a person or as his son. Ulder talks almost casually about having misjudged Wyll. 'Whoops my bad, I might be an asshole'. We're in a game where Astarion kills Cazador and just starts screaming and sobbing on his knees over everything that happened. Why isn't Wyll pissed off that everything he endured ALONE, the realization that his father never really saw or trusted him, was met with 'whoops'? Why isn't Ulder more horrified over what he did to Wyll? The fact that he isn't so much as in the same breath as other characters expressing anguish makes me think he still, STILL does not understand what he put Wyll through as his father. And Wyll having no reaction other than 'yay Dad likes me again :D' doesn't ring true imo. It's possible to love someone but be absolutely furious with or hurt by them. Mizora was not the only one who did Wyll dirty.
Wyll's pact with Mizora in the first place hinged on Wyll not trusting himself to keep Baldur's Gate safe from the cult of Tiamat AND Wyll not considering himself someone also worthy of protection too. Wyll is part of the tradition 'other people's suffering counts but not mine, I exist to be a shield for others'. I don't think Wyll has ever been taught he is also part of Baldur's Gate who should be kept safe. Self-sacrifice under those circumstances isn't an informed choice but like a self-destructive person offering their life up for cheap, when it isn't strictly necessary. First resort rather than last kinda deal.
Unless I've forgotten something, Wyll breaking his pact is framed not only by Mizora but the narrative as Wyll being selfish and deciding his father should die instead of keeping himself bound. The narrative itself doesn't really challenge this idea even if Wyll does successfully save Ulder unbound by his pact with Mizora. In my experience, out of all the cast members I think Wyll is the only one who is framed as possibly a worse person for opting out of the abusive relationship he's in. I really don't think he should be. Healthy selfishness (self-care, self-esteem) is not a bad thing. We have sayings about not setting ourselves on fire to keep others warm. I don't know why Wyll isn't given room to realize, discuss, and embrace this. In addition to everything else I've mentioned it kind of kills the shape of his character arc imo. Wyll starts off selfless to a fault. Having him remain selfless to a fault and continue making the same choices he did at the beginning sets him up for spiritual death as a character, which would make him staying pacted to Mizora fitting to articulate that concept in a way. He didn't 'sin' against or wrong other people to become a devil, but he absolutely 'sinned' against himself by allowing it to continue. It's total self-destruction and it's tragic. But when he breaks the cycle, in canon any degree of selfishness is still narratively condemned. He only gets "redeemed" if he saves Ulder, in the sense that he is still enforced as a selfless person/he is only so good as he is selfless. ADDITIONALLY! He's given a choice between protecting people as Archduke or protecting people as Blade of Avernus but there isn't actually a whole lot of discussion about Wyll's own happiness regardless of others. Wyll isn't given room to feel ugly emotions, anger on his own behalf, or basic self-preservation without the game itself side-eyeing him. Wyll should not have to be a "perfect" and selfless person to be a good and worthwhile person worth protecting.
Like... what bothers me, is that Wyll isn't given room to express or examine anything. He isn't allowed to feel conflicted or angry. He isn't allowed to want for himself. He isn't allowed to be furious with his father or to wonder if his anger at his father (who he still loves) fuels his desire to break his pact with Mizora or if it's just treating himself like he's worth something too. It kind of feels like the narrative itself is dehumanizing Wyll by denying him room to be selfish at all, even when he really needs to be. Even when it would give room for emotional and complex scenes that could resonate.
When I've thought about what kind of romantic partner would be most interesting for Wyll imo, what struck me was it should be someone who is selfish and actually encourages his selfishness a bit. Not in a corrupting way (even if he worries it might be at times) but someone who can encourage some balance in him and vice versa. I don't think Wyll works as a narrative tool to show how nice another character already is or be their trophy boyfriend. As a character, him being imperfect I think is intrinsically important to him feeling real. And guy really does deserve to feel real, you know?
It's been weird, since Wyll approaches some of my absolute favorite themes as a character for being a hero who needs to understand not being heroic all the time is okay/heroes need protecting too sometimes. But he doesn't really do anything with them currently as far as I'm aware. That's made it harder for me to engage with him. If his romance route touches on it more like then that's awesome. But I feel like if we could see full character arcs for other companions regardless of romance, it should be doable for Wyll too.
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artist-issues · 2 months
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What do you think about the Spider-Verse movies, if you've seen them? I love the first one a lot but I've only seen the second one once and, while I think I really liked it too, something about it felt off and I can't quite place it.
I'm glad you phrased this question this way because me too. I totally couldn't place what felt off about Across the Spider-Verse and have been trying to answer the "why" question ever since.
Just to get it out of the way real quick, I thought the first movie was amazing, of course, no surprises. You can tell they really know who the characters are (and I mean, they know what they want their own interpretations of those characters to look like) and that shows in all the emotion and the dialogue. The pacing is perfect. Don't need to say anything about the art style because we all know it's very very good.
I like that Miles has to learn his own version of "with great power comes great responsibility," but in a different way from Peter. Like, with Peter, you get the sense that that lesson is being applied like "if you have the power to do something good, do it."
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But it's applied differently with Miles. Not "you have the power to help others, so take responsibility for that." Instead, it's, "you have the power to be something more than you are, so take responsibility for your potential."
Think about it. Uncle Ben dies because Peter didn't stop a bad guy. Something good he could’ve done, but didn’t do.
But Uncle Aaron (in this version, very intentionally) dies because of his own choice to save Miles after using his talents to be a force for evil (kind of showing Miles what “living up to our potential too late” looks like)—and then Miles, unlike Peter, gets to hear his Uncle's last words—which just so happen to be a specific encouragement for Miles to fulfill his potential.
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And of course, every other character in the movie is asking Miles if he can be what they expect him to be.
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It's not till he hears it from his dad, though, that he believes it. I think all that is great (though not nearly as impactful as Peter Parker, because Peter Parker's application of "responsibility" is more selfless. But both Spider-Men have to think less about their own comfort zones and personal success, and more about others.)
Also, real quick, Peter B. Parker learns the same facet of responsibility as Miles in this movie, too. I mean, they drop him into this story as a Peter Parker who’s already learned his own version of “take responsibility for the good you can do.” Now he needs to learn, as a guy who’s afraid to be a dad, how to take responsibility for his own potential.
I mean, there’s really no such thing as “ready,” in these big life decisions. You just do it, as best you can, and you get ready along the way. Heroics, fatherhood, you name it. Leaps of faith. Applicable to all.
Anyway. I said that was going to be real quick, it wasn't, but whatevs.
On to Across the Spider Verse:
I’ve seen this movie twice. And I think I’d need to see it again to really…get what it’s trying to say. There’s some parts about what I think the Main Point is that I like, and some parts I really don’t. There’s also some parts about the actual “art of storytelling” in it that I like, and some that…I think miss the mark, if I can be that bold.
The movie seems to be saying “be true to who you are.” I hate that message. Because human beings are flawed and every-changing, even though the connotations of the phrase “true to” imply something constant. You can’t be “true” to who you are if who you are is always changing. Even if you want to say “yeah, I’m always changing, so I’ll just be true to whoever I am in the moment,” well, what’s the point of that? Ultimately, your “self” is a terrible thing to point the compass of your life at.
But Miles and Gwen both have to decide that they don’t care what everybody around them tells them to be—AND they have to trust others with their identity. Choosing who they are, and then forcing everyone around them to accept it, (Miles telling his alt.universe mother his identity, declaring himself Spider-Man whether the spider was meant to bite him or not, Gwen remaining Spider-Woman regardless of what it forces her father to do, etc.) is treated like a good thing.
That’s not always great, when it’s contrasted with this idea of “the greater good” or “accepting the grand plan for the sake of the world.” The movie makes the “greater good” look like a bad thing.
…But the movie also equates the negative “greater good” with “let one person die because we can’t save everybody.” So it’s like…yeah. You have a point, Miles. If the “greater good” means you know someone is about to die and you just let it happen—instead of letting that person choose to be the sacrifice knowingly—that seems messed up, morally.
And I like parts of that, because I like the valuing of life, and I like the idea that being a control freak is a bad thing, because it’s prideful, etc. But who’s the control-freak? The kid who thinks he can do it all? Or the outer-dimensional watchdog who’s literally “holding all the strings together?”
And then there’s the cop-out of “Well, maybe none of these questions have answers because it’s only PART ONE!”
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Basically, I’ll stop here, and just admit; I haven’t got a handle on why I don’t wholeheartedly like the second movie, either. It’s just not as tight and well-crafted as the first one. Still incredible, don’t get me wrong. Just…something is off.
I’ll talk about other stuff, instead of the Main Point.
I think the pacing is weird. Too much time is given to characters like Pavitr Parker and Hobie (yes, Hobie, I don’t care, he gets too much screen time.) and even The Spot. As much as I love seeing Andrew Garfield, all the cameos take up too much time. The chase scene? Waaay. WAY. Too much time. But that’s the gimmick they leaned in to, so that’s that.
The first movie knew when to make shots that were super artsy few and far between so that they added to a climactic moment. In this movie, just about every shot is doing something new and flashy with the effects, the backgrounds, the stylized icons, all of the above. Only scenes like the ones where Miles and his mom are talking on the fire escape have that “Gorgeous But Normal” vibe. So you feel like you’re just being firehosed with cool artwork, instead of the artwork melting seamlessly into the story and then popping out to enhance impactful moments.
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Also, the facial expressions, particularly in the mouth-areas, are all not as impactful as they were in the first movie. The mouth movements aren’t dramatic enough to fit what the voice actors are doing in a lot of important scenes.
Finally, if I had to pick one big beef with the movie, it would be what they did with Peter B. Parker. I mean, just…relegating him to comic relief, entirely. No arc. No emotional depth. And his baby is just like…there. There’s nothing about him that acts like Spider-Man would.
Anyway, I’ll watch it again, I promise, and come back with more organized thoughts. (But that’s sort of the problem. A well-crafted, finely-tuned story usually doesn’t need this much analyzation to make it’s point—usually it’s clear. But there’s always the chance that it’s a me problem—an audience problem—so I’ll watch it again.)
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baiwu-jinji · 6 months
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I'm so very late to the party but finally finished listening to TGCF audio drama season 1, love how intense the last two episodes are :3 Here are some incoherent thoughts about some of the episodes I haven't talked about:
Episode 12: It occurred to me when I'm listening to this episode that the ghosts of Ghost City are always so lively and bubbly, always laughing and flirting and teasing, when most of them must've had a tragic life story with unresolved misfortunes that caused them to turn into ghosts in the first place. Their high spirits feels incongruous with their tragic past, but maybe it's because they're happier as ghosts than as humans?
There's a ghost called 红粉骷髅 (literally "skeleton of beautiful woman") in this episode that finds afterlife much more liberating and satisfying than life itself, as she recites the following poem when she's dancing: "I danced for others in life, nobody buried my bones when I died; I sing for myself after death, my beauty moves the netherworld."
(The name 红粉骷髅 actually comes from a Buddhist story where the Bodhisattva Guanyin turns into a beautiful woman to make love to men but would suddenly turn into a skeleton in the process, scaring the men into realising that the most alluring beauty in the world is but ashes and bones and ghastly in death, and that they shouldn't give in to temptations.)
Episode 13: Hua Cheng tells Xie Lian that he doesn't look at the wishes of his believers and just throws them away because he doesn't care about being worshipped. This just shows the difference between Hua Cheng and Jun Wu: although they both desire power, Hua Cheng only wants power in himself and over his own fate, while Jun Wu wants power over others. The conversation between HC and XL is as follows:
HC: It's better to help yourself than ask the help of others. If you want to climb out of the abyss, what use is it to look to others? Others won't come to save you every time.
XL: That's why you need gods.
HC: But if everyone counts on the god, what about the god? Wouldn't the god get tired?
XL: But you must have many believers. If you turn a blind eye to their prayers, won't they consider you to be ineffectual?
HC: I didn't ask them to worship me, they kneeled before me without my permission. Besides, only those who happen to have their wishes granted would dare to talk about it - those who don't wouldn't dare to complain.
Episode 17: Xie Lian tells Lang Qianqiu that he named his sword technique which he uses to break up a clash by diverting all the harm to himself "wuming" (meaning "nameless") - a fitting name because the technique is about the negation of the self, and sacrificing oneself to endure it all. "Wuming" is also the name Hua Cheng took when he followed Xie Lian after the fall of Xianle and eventually sacrificed himself to protect Xie Lian.
Episode 18: When Xie Lian worries that telling Lang Qianqiu the truth would make Lang Qianqiu question everything XL taught him and cease to be the courageous and honourable person that he is, Hua Cheng asks XL to trust in LQQ's innate moral strength. I like what HC said to XL about LQQ:
"If you value him so much, then why can't you trust him? Trust that since he's the one you chose, he won't lose himself in hatred and will eventually do what he should do, even though he once wanted to destroy the whole world out of hate."
HC is asking XL to have faith in LQQ the same way that HC has always had faith in XL.
There's also something I wonder about the situation between Xie Lian and Lang Qianqiu. LQQ's parents were murdered by the resentful ghosts of the people of Xianle, and XL took the blame for the Gilded Banquet massacre because he didn't want LQQ to think that he tried to save those resentful ghosts in vain, that LQQ's good will towards the resentful ghosts was met with hatred and revenge. But has it occurred to XL that his own supposed "betrayal" would've hurt LQQ equally much? Would LQQ really feel better if instead of the resentful ghosts, it's his teacher whom he admired and respected so much that had betrayed him?
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pigeonwit · 18 days
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I AM ASKING YOU ABOUT RACEVID (or RAVEY, or whatever it is the kids call it wbwbwb) !!!!
(i got one nice ask about it so i'm digging out this half-a-year old draft to talk about my personal racevid hcs that i cringe-cultured myself out of posting, take it away pidge-from-six-months-ago)
i honestly wasn't expecting this much racevid support. on my old newsies blog way back i made posts about these guys and they typically only got like. 3 notes? granted my writing wasn't as good so maybe i'm persuading people. or maybe the newsies fandom is finally waking up to the wonderful possibilities of multishipping. one of the two.
part two of the racevid analysis!! this one is less of an analysis of how they behave in the musical and more my own personal headcanons of their relationship and how it develops. part one (a very unpolished and rambley analysis of racevid in uksies) is here if anyone's curious!
right. so. it's act 2. jack publicly denounced and betrayed the strike. race leaves with davey, both in shame over being betrayed by (to race) the brother he grew up with and trusted more than anyone and (to davey) the guy he didn't even want to trust in the first place, but still put his faith in despite knowing better. the next day jack comes BACK, asking them both to trust him again. what would you do.
i'm of the firm belief that race only came back to the strike because davey agreed to come back, too. i don't think either of them necessarily FORGAVE jack in that moment - it'd only been a day and while we as the audience understand why jack (a frightened seventeen year old with little to no prospects or power) did what he did, we can also understand why it stung so deeply for them to be betrayed by someone they put so much faith in. especially davey - like i said in part 1, i believe davey has feelings for jack in every universe, and for him to not only trust, but fall in love with someone despite knowing better, only for it to come back and bite him (the way he KNEW it would but convinced himself otherwise) would be a humiliation that runs deep for him. but davey believes in doing the right thing, and as much as jack hurt him, he still trusts him to do what's right, too. that's another one of those strange mirrored-similarities race and davey have - davey loves so intensely that he still has faith in the good of a person, even when he believes that that person isn't good to him. race loves so intensely that if you burn the bridge you have with him, he will do everything he can to keep it from getting rebuilt.
i know both of them would forgive jack eventually. for davey, jack's family. you fight with family, you disagree, you throw things and scream in each other's faces, but you do that because you love each other and want what's best. so as long as jack's willing to put the work in, davey is, too, and he can still be mad at jack and not willing to forgive him yet while still loving him. i think race is a different story, though, especially JPB's race, who i think has a lot more grit, anger and seriousness to him than other race's. race has been with jack for years, they've grown together, talked together, maybe he hasn't always been perfect, but if jack was so scared, why he couldn't he just talk to him?! i personally view race as a kid who was very overlooked by his family (i saw that 'race has like 12 cousins in brooklyn' thing someone said and ran with it, so in my head he comes from a BIIIIG big catholic family) and so he takes it quite personally when people ignore him. in his head, jack not trusting him enough with his fears is saying he doesn't trust race the way race trusts him, doesn't see him as family the way race sees him like a brother. and i think race's response to this (in his own mentally ill 'i love you so much that i hate you for it' way) is to push him away. he's looking for reasons to resent jack here - and i think a big one of those reasons is davey.
for context; like i said in part one, my personal Racevid Story is that after the rally failure, race - being person who's used to the temporary nature of pleasure, and so grabs hold of any vice he can without thinking (gambling, smoking, fighting, etc) - would've impulsively kissed davey as a sort of 'please stay, i need help, please don't leave me in this mess alone' gesture. but i think davey is so used to shoving down his feelings and pretending he's fine that he would've gotten freaked out by the sudden notion that maybe race is attracted to him. he's barely got a handle on his feelings for jack, he's alone and scared and has no one to talk to, and now race is here, KISSING him, and it's all wonderful and confusing and TERRIFYING and he can't deal with it right now. so i think they would've just stopped, stared at each other, mumbled some kind of excuse and let themselves be dragged to their own responsibilities - race to the newsies, davey to his family, and neither of them having the nerve to actually understand what they want, because that would mean being vulnerable enough to want something.
i think jack coming back and davey immediately trusting him (despite knowing better) is going to make race angry for two reasons; first of all, like i said two paragraphs ago (fuck i'm rambling so much here) i think race would be looking for reasons to resent jack for what he did (again, coming from a very teenagery 'i love you so much i hate you for it' place), and second, i think it's also a source of jealousy for him. davey BARELY knew jack and still gave him everything. davey had no reason to trust any of them and he still did. davey could've thrown race away immediately, but he still made the effort to see him, so how dare jack cast that aside in favour of a daydream? (again, this isn't a jack criticism - this is just how i think race views the situation.) race (to me) is not used to people seeing him, certainly not used to people making an EFFORT to see him and take him seriously, and davey gave him all of that without him even needing to ask for it - and now race has messed that up and davey isn't talking to him, which he probably deserves, but jack messed up too!! why does JACK get to keep being seen? doesn't race deserve it, too? (again, i really think race's family overlooked him a lot and that's why he tries so hard to be such a commanding presence and keep peoples attention, because it hurts so much when other people are allowed attention so freely and he isn't.)
i don't buy in to davey being a mom-friend who wants to solve all his friends problems for them. i did shit like that when i was younger, and honestly i still do, and i just don't think that after the strike and all that he learned about himself, davey would fall into assuming that the only value he has is to fix things for everyone else (i mean, i do still think davey would have some issues to work out after the strike, hence 'run boy run', but not this specific issue). but i do think davey is very protective over the people he loves, and i think this rift between jack and race is affecting him, too. i think maybe the topic of jack comes up, and he tries getting race to talk more about it. when race refuses to talk, davey - finally - brings up the kiss.
this is entering fanfiction territory so im not gonna try to write out dialogue here or anything. i think itd be another example of them fumbling for a way to reach one another. neither one is used to speaking the others language, so to speak. i think race would feel especially humiliated given the turbulent situation, and i think davey would be struggling so much to find the 'right' words that he'd become defensive and panicky. and i think that would all bubble up into davey just blurting out something of the lines of 'i trust you'. and i think that'd be the thing that connects for them. not just being liked, but being seen for all their flaws and difficulties and being trusted anyways. i think that'd be the trigger for davey bullying race into finally talking to jack about what happened, race coming back to the strike, and the two of them entering a slow, tentative relationship that, as their dynamic in the show does, grows much steadier with time.
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jemmo · 8 months
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i might be just the tiniest bit obsessed with segasaki from mpw. hes just… so good, so shaped, so moulded as a character, as a performance, as a person. its just all coming together with him and it’s only ep 3. like every facet about the way he is and the way he’s played is perfect. the low voice that can be played off as indifference and moodiness early on but then later says the sweetest things you wouldn’t expect, the way he uses that monotone voice to tease yoh, taking any single hint of unhappiness or a complaint back to yoh saying he hates him bc he’s just that petty and as much as it’s to mess with him, it still actually hurts, bc yoh still said he hates him, but that sadness just reverts back to indifference and moodiness. its the way that voice and vibe contrast so fantastically the way he just does stuff, just goes for it. he’s so not a verbal person and everything about the way he presents is so casual and unbothered but he will also just ask yoh out with no beating around the bush. he decides and commands so easily, whether it’s ordering food or what they’re doing or buying clothes, but it’s never bossy bc its what yoh wants. whether segasaki has asked him or he just says it randomly, whenever yoh says something he wants, segasaki just decides to make it happen and it’s such a perfect match to yoh’s indecision and hesitancy, and that command segasaki has is always used to overcome that. it’s the way his flirting is so subtle but gets to yoh so much bc it gets at exactly where that hesitancy and indecisiveness is. he leans in when they speak so that yoh hears him and he hears everything yoh says, and he pesters him for an opinion until he gives one and still teases him about it. it’s so good bc it’s so not obvious on the surface, it’s just flirting, but it’s also segasaki trying to create a space where yoh is comfortable so that he’ll come out of his shell, he pushes him just enough, and it’s playful enough, that it gets through. and it’s the way he smiles in those moments yoh isn’t looking. it’s not that he hides them, its bc yoh looks away bc he’s flustered too, that he doesn’t see the smile that grows when they hold hands or sit close or when yoh says something and segasaki is just overcome with how cute he is and how smitten he is. it’s the way yoh says he only sees them slight smiles, and holds onto that as a reason to hope but also be cautious, that he doesn’t know the full extent of the happiness segasaki is feeling in any single moment when he’s around bc he misses those smiles. and yet segasaki has faith in yoh enough to know that despite being reserved, despite saying horrible things, he trusts that there’s feelings there, and that’s beautiful and also so scary bc i don’t think yoh knows just how much of a hold he has over segasaki, and just how capable of breaking his heart he is. bc segasaki acts so sure, he acts beyond doubt despite what yoh has said to him, but just that line of him saying ‘you’re beloved sex’ at the end betrays that some of that faith is constructed, that there’s little basis for it from yoh, bc yoh has been stuck on sex, and rightly so as he sees it as one of their only points of connection, bc they act so separately and unattached when they’re not having sex, and you see through the eps them developing these small bits of closeness outside the bedroom, but that’s still their biggest form of connection. so of course yoh sticks to it and focuses on it, but for segasaki of course it feels like that’s all yoh is concerned with. his whole meltdown in ep 2 centered on the fact they weren’t having sex, and even when they go on a date and have fun, yoh thinks about sex, and buys sheets, and brings it back to that. at the start you think segasaki holds all the power, but the show is about realizing they equally hold power, precisely bc they both feel strongly about each other but fail to communicate it. yoh doubts segasaki bc of his indifferent persona, and segasaki doubts yoh bc he only seems concerned with sex, and doesn’t actually like him.
it’s such a mess of emotions veiled behind this quiet, understated show bc it perfectly extends and captures with everything about its production and writing and delivery the way they both have much more complex feelings hidden underneath the surface of casual normalcy and it’s just utter perfection.
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bizlybebo · 1 month
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Because its on my mind Im sending this as a "Ramble about it here when you get to X episode" ask. When you finish the episodes titled black, white and grey please rant about them here. They are great and I want to see your opinions
hahaha. hi endy.
the staring at the wall evolved into falling asleep and randomly waking up at 4am, still processing these episodes.
i wrote down. some of my thoughts now having experienced the full thing and got kind of carried away with um. 1.4k words of rambling :3
it’s not even all i want to say but i. ough. fuck these episodes were so good but so. auugggh.
it’s like 5am now im posting this and gonna try to go back to sleep but. holy fucking SHIT when i get you bizly.
(i don’t at all expect you to read this behemoth of a ramble!! just. need to put this somewhere as well because my brain’s still exploding after these episodes)
When season two started I thought it marked a lot of stuff for, y’know, how the show was gonna get darker. I mean, episode one, people were getting killed by a chaos demon in that prison.
I was entirely expecting all the ugly, gory bits of season two to be… external shit. Stuff that other guys, the actual antagonists, did.
But William felt pressured in Black. And suddenly it sets off this chain reaction, and suddenly one of our protagonists is no longer doing heroic things. Suddenly William is effectively torturing a guy psychologically in an attempt to save thousands more with David’s medical research.
He fell into the crux of a lot of villains: “It’s for the greater good”.
There was no going back after he stabbed Tide with the syringe. Tide, who never even had his guard up around William because despite everything, he trusted him and had immeasurable faith in his boys.
White is probably my favorite and least favorite episode, simultaneously, to ever come out of jrwi. The emotional, symbolic, and hell, even cinematic effect it has is insane.
I could fucking scream forever about Willian’s actions in White. About Vyncent’s inactions and the way he was torn about everything— about the fact that in season one, Vyncent was the “violent” one.
But Mark and Dakota fucking hit me in the heart to an insane amount.
Dakota. MOTHERFUCKING. Cole.
I said this before, but:
It’s the fact that Dakota still has optimism. He still has hope, at the very least, that Mark can change; turn over a new leaf for his kid.
“I think he should turn over a new leaf, like, with a new hero name, like— Soundwave, or something.”
He still thinks, or at least thought, that Mark can change. This was after he saw what he did to Lightspeed. He saw the worst of Mark’s actions but he still had faith and hope that there was a good person in there.
This shows so much fucking growth for Dakota’s character. The entire development of his morals, especially over season 2, is insane.
But Mark tries to kill Dakota. Several times.
He shoots at him, unleashes hundreds of bullets, and even tries to stab him. He couldn’t predict that Dakota would be incorporeal, and yeah, sure, you could say that he didn’t know Dakota forfeited his powers (and even without him he’s still significantly stronger than other kids his age). But even with his powers, Dakota would still have taken significant damage from the attacks.
Dakota and Mark’s rivalry is something I could pick apart and think about every little piece of forever.
They both have overwhelming love for Ashe, but it manifests in different ways.
Mark says it himself, “I am what I have to be.” He’s bringing home his kid by any means necessary. Ashe doesn’t have to like him, she just has to be safe and alive.
Dakota’s entire screaming match with Mark is engraved into my brain forever. It felt so real to witness, and the emotion in it was insane.
Dakota’s entire proclamation gets me. He’s so well spoken throughout despite shaking with how angry he is.
“I have been killing myself trying to train hard enough to save her.”
“If you were doing this for Ashe you wouldn’t do things that she’d hate you for.” But Mark is what he has to be.
Dakota never stands down. He keeps getting back up, and back up, and back. Up. Okehrjwjr I’m actually going to start crying thinking about this again.
When he was searching for Lightspeed and following Wavelength’s tracks, he kept asking himself: What would William do? Because he had faith in William’s decision making and investigation.
But at the very same time, William was wondering what Dakota would think about what he’s done.
And GOD don’t get me started on William and his brother.
In a sick, twisted way, I loved their dynamic. I loved what it meant for William narratively when David congratulated his work of defeating Xavier, even calling him “little brother” as a term of endearment. I was on the edge of my seat for their entire conversation in the meeting room.
David gave William his first drink, like older brothers do. William tortured a man because of his brother. David had apple juice sitting on hand because their mother told him to, just in case William ever showed up. William wanted apple juice. He killed somebody.
Cantrip’s been FUCKING me up. I couldn’t even write the word “death” after her name. It doesn’t feel real.
This can’t be the same show in which Jade was sitting on Xavier’s shoulders during mario kart, nonchalantly offering no help as he fought for his life to win like. Second place.
I mean, Jade was such a candid and real character. She was a teenager, just like the rest of the Prime Defenders, and she tried to take a turn for better things after leaving the fighting ring. She went from villainy to vigilantism, and sure, her morals were kind of skewed with how she seemed pretty okay with Alan killing the Bell Tech employees, but her motives were good, in a sense.
(“It’s all for the greater good”. It’s the same thing William was thinking, except William was directly dirtying his hands by torturing Xavier, while Cantrip was just accepting that Alan killed some people.)
I think there’s something to say for how William creates a vision of Cantrip out of smoke, distorting her into some monster, and how that’s the last time we see her image at all before learning of the fact that she’s. Gone.
The last time we see the real Jade, she’s just trying to escape. She doesn’t even talk, if I remember correctly. She just tries to get out. She gets shot in the arm but still persists.
And William ends up being the one who pulls the trigger; who injects the memory loss shit into her blood.
He’s the one who kills her, despite not knowing it at the time.
And David still masquerades as an innocent man, going as far as to relax at his apartment with him and William’s parents as though the events of the previous night never happened.
It fucks me up how the last words that Will and David exchanged before the confrontation in the apartment was:
“Don’t turn into a supervillain while I’m gone.”
“You either.”
William was starting to believe that David was a guy with awful methods, but good intentions— and William felt as though he was the same way. He saw himself becoming David, but David manipulated him into thinking that, hey, it’s awful, but at least he wouldn’t be… alone, I guess, in being a horrible person.
William and David finally saw eye to eye on the worst thing.
And David. Still. Lied.
Lied by omission.
And Jade was the one who took the fall for William’s actions. Jade, the girl who made fun of William for his crush on Vyncent. Jade, who had a sister she cared about, even if she scoffed about her love of heroes— despite the implication that their parents died because of them (likely caught in crossfire or casualties of battle). Jade, who painted her nails and placed bets on William kissing Vyncent, saying he’d be too pussy to do so. Jade, who found herself in a fucking fighting arena of all places but still found friends through it.
Jade, who was the first one to trust William with her actual name instead of Cantrip.
William, who killed her.
And. Fucking Christ.
Vyncent’s monologue at the end of episode 33 just. Fucks me up.
For the entire greyscale series, he finds himself suspended in inaction, too scared to do the right thing and too scared to stop the wrong thing.
But he finally faces it. He looks at William, certainly with fear after knowing all that he’s done, and even still, Vyncent dances around the morality of the subject. He accepts if William wants to flat-out lie to Dakota’s face about what happened at Bell Tech, though he does warn him of the significant damage it’ll do to their friendship.
And when William asks Vyncent to leave the room at the end of the episode, Vyncent finally takes a leap and becomes no longer caught by his indecision between apathy and guilt.
He looks at William, thinking he’s on the edge of something he won’t come back from, and he takes his hand, and pulls Wlliam back from the metaphorical cliff’s edge. If William does fall, then they’re falling together.
His entire proclamation, starting with “I’ve had so many opportunities to do the right thing”, fucking guts me.
God I’ve been typing for like. An hour now but the greyscale series really fucked me up holy shit.
tldr: AAAAUUUUIGGHHHHKEKGKKSKVMEMGOOCU:$)&2’ynkejvjk4&3&582$2!:$?82&;&/&(929@,@2&(&2&&?EVIL EVIL EVIL GOD IS DEADDDDJGKRMHKSKKKKLLEKCKSJGJKSICIWKFMSKGIWIIIAI&383&5&?&?@39(92@?&&/8:7;&,£,]*+\+<*]¥<**]+<+¥sfkwkfkkwjfkI HATE EVERYTHING AOUUGGGHHHHHH OUUUUUUEHEHRHRHRJKGHRHRHRRRRRRR
i am emotionally attached to this media a normal amount
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divine-misfortune · 1 year
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Mushy May, day 5. Personal grooming.
Rating: Everyone
Pairing: Rain & Copia
Words: 693
Summary: Personal upkeep can slip through the cracks when there’s so much thrust onto someone at once. The Cardinal does what he can to make it easier.
“Sit.” 
Rain could have curled in on himself from the sharp edge of the Cardinal’s tone but instead he slunk into the bathroom and sat himself on the seemingly precarious wooden stool in the middle of the room. It creaked under his weight. He folded his hands in his lap and subtly began to pick at a loose thread on his knee.
“You don’t need to-“ he started to whisper, throat dry. 
“Ah, but I do, pioggia…I can’t have my ghouls walking around in such disarray. It reflects poorly on me, but also you seem to be in need of the help.” 
Needles of cold shame pricked up his spine as Copia attempted to run his fingers through the water ghoul’s hair. A sharp tug on his scalp earns a wince as the man snags against a knot. Copia makes a soft and apologetic sound. In the mirror, Rain could see his brow furrow as he assessed the rats nest in front of him. 
It was the burn of humiliation in his cheeks that dragged Rain’s gaze to the tile floor. 
The time he’d spent topside had not been easy. He was run ragged, pulled every which way. Everywhere he looked, there was a new expectation to meet. The poor water ghoul was dead on his feet before the days could even come to a conclusion. It was exhausting, it was scary, and he couldn’t keep up. 
To say he felt inadequate was an understatement, the space he’d been set to fill was impossibly big despite the previous bassist being, well…Not very big. It was daunting. He wanted to crawl back to the pits and stay there where he couldn’t prove to be a disappointment. Most nights, he could barely bring himself to eat his dinner. Trying to care for himself was the last thing on his mind. It was all precious time he could be using to learn the instrument they’d thrust upon him. 
“I’ve noticed” Copia began as he retrieved something from the cabinet above the toilet “you haven’t been very present, during practice, meals, mass.” Rain braced himself for a lecture, a warning. “This has been hard on you, no?” 
“This?”
“Your summoning, your new place,” the man gestured vaguely with one hand as he returned to the place behind him. Rain looked up at the mirror to watch Copia. “There is much to adjust to, I know. Take me for instance, this is all new to me as well.” He took a comb and began to work at a particular knot in his hair as gently as he could, Rain knew it wouldn’t be pleasant. “I cannot say this has come easy to me either.”
“But you make it look…I don’t know, like, easy.” Rain said through grit teeth as Copia tugged a little too hard.
“I will let you in on a secret, ghoul…It’s all pretending. None of this is easy. You never got to see any of the Papa’s in their prime, but they left quite the shoes to fill. I could never hope to be them, so I instead hope to be me.”
“I don’t - Fuck! Ow!” He yelped and jerked away, reaching to rub at his poor abused scalp. “I don’t get why you’re telling me this.” 
“Because, we are both confused of our place here and that’s okay. But I’m afraid that allowing yourself to fall into despair because of that fact, is not. It won’t always be this formidable, and if it is, it is not something you have to stomach in silence.”
Rain ran his tongue over the inside of his teeth and looked back down to his hands. Copia’s eyes were kind, his voice was genuine, and he didn’t know what to make of it.
“You trust me, don’t you?”
“I mean…Yeah but,”
“Then continue to trust me. You must only have faith in Satanas, me, and yourself or none of it means a thing. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Cardinal.” 
“Very good, now sit still. This is…” He gave another tug at a snag, “going to take some time.” 
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libbee · 5 months
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Astrology of Goodbye
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I don't know how to see goodbye in chart. I will only share the stories of mine and my family's charts. This is in no way intended to guide someone else nor it is indication that everyone going through certain dasha will definitely undergo the same event. I only share dots I can connect from little knowledge I have.
Trigger warning: death, loss of parent, grief.
This happened in my Jupiter's mahadasha that I have been running since 2014. That year I started college. Definitely Jupiter is planet of blessings and it is luck and blessing to graduate and be able to use degree for job and livelihood. Then in Ketu's antardasha in 2022 that rules my 1st house, my father was diagnosed with a life threatening disease. For my father's chart, it happened in his Venus Mahadasha and Jupiter Antardasha. Jupiter rules his 8th house that has Saturn in it. It came to light out of nowhere, suddenly, although there was no prior hint.
On first impression, I thought Saturn in 8th house gives very long life, although it may not guarantee good quality of life. I had read that this placement can give chronic diseases. I assured my father that nothing will happen to him, trust me, this will pass for you, just keep taking medical treatment, you're only being tested by God. Once I asked him do you have faith in astrology papa? He said, I have faith in you. So I said, then trust me you will live a long life.
Time pass by, medical treatments do not work for him. One chemotherapy. Next radiotherapy. No change. Next immunotherapy. Next chemotherapy. Next chemotherapy. All these treatments for long months. He was not ready to give up. As you know each chemotherapy takes months for cycles then we wait for some days before body scan. It was test of patience and powerlessness. I stopped telling him astrology and stop seeing everything. In my culture, vedic astrology is a big thing so we consult my friend's father who sees charts. He says, is it in bones? Do not worry, nothing will happen to you, you will recover even without surgery.
Meanwhile, we do everything we know. Buying stones, doing rituals, long 9 days of rituals, donating food grains and consulting a family tantrik. My father's health deteriorates further. One day he tells me, look my skin looks so old, I look like I am 95 year old. Instantly it struck me that although he's young he indeed looks like he is very old because of the treatments and looks like he "lived a long life".
My obsession with studying the 8th house makes me realize that he is being compelled to take the path of Yogi. He eats nothing, drinks nothing, speaks nothing, cannot leave house, does not go to work, does not socialize. This means he is doing sadhana and it is spiritually important event. It is internal self destruction to the point of nothing, so that a big transformation can begin.
In rahu's antardasha and rahu pratyantardasha, dear father leaves his body and departs to the world of unknown. For me, it was my Venus' antardasha and rahu's pratyantardasha. For my mother, she was running rahu's mahadasha, rahu's antardasha and venus pratyantardasha. I have venus in my 8th house but it rules my 7th/12th house. My mother's 8th/1st house are ruled by Venus. Can you see the change in her identity, self image, social identity from this information? It makes some sense in hindsight.
So, this is the story of timeline of what happened and when. How my incomplete astro knowledge made me tell misinformation and false promise to my father. And why I will only stick to personality analysis and not predicting events in coming times. I have not touched astrology for last 7 or 8 months now. But today it feels like I need to take it seriously and begin learning things from scratch once again. Living in a rut will keep close to memories of past but life has to move on even if that means getting distant from memories and not thinking of the same things every single day.
Thank you to people who asked me in how I was doing. This community is very supportive and does not forget you though one may forget oneself. My best wishes to everyone.
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cosmicatta · 1 year
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"I could tell you about canon moments that made me love them, but I could also list a very extense number of things that I’ve just mostly made up myself, including the way I personally interpret those canon moments. "
I would love to hear about those !
Oh my oh my, I hope I don’t overwhelm you with my nonsense, anon, but here I go! ❤
One thing that has always interested me about lawlu is the fact that they seem to be opposites, yet you can draw so many parallels between them. In a way, they really are Sun and Moon, contrasting but, at the same time, more alike than you’d think at first, and inevitably nurturing each other. Together, they create this perfect balance of freedom and logic, light and darkness. They make each other grow, and I think this is especially noticeable from Law's perspective, because Luffy is exactly what he needs: honest, kind, blunt, and so loving. He gives Law the chance to be better and show who he really is, he insists that "Torao is a good guy" despite his reputation of being cruel and terrible. This is the chance that I don't think Law even believed himself to deserve. He probably still struggles to accept that kindness, seeing that he's so determined to deny their friendship, even after proving many times in the past that he cares about Luffy, through his actions.
Their relationship intrigued me from the very start, but what really sealed the deal for me was (unsurprisingly) the Dressrosa arc. You can see very clearly there how much they mean to each other, in many different levels:
They have both seen each other at their worst moments, and yet neither of them ever took that vulnerability as a proof of weakness. Quite the opposite, they see the other's pure strength and power in their resilience, and choose to act as support for that strength. Law was there to save Luffy’s life in Marineford, when he didn’t have his crew at his side, and Luffy is also there in what’s probably the most climatic point of Law’s journey, taking down Doflamingo. Luffy has said it before, that he owes Law his life, but at this point Law is also seeing Luffy as a savior. He is the ray of hope he’s desperately needed all his life, and that’s why this moment specifically hits so hard for me:
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Law knows he’s the one who “dragged Luffy into this fight”, even explicitly saying so himself. He tried to break the alliance in order to protect the Strawhats from Doflamingo, he feels responsible. But this scene here is much more than just basic decency or honor, this is him putting all of his trust in Luffy, allowing himself to have faith even if he says he doesn’t believe in anything anymore. This is so big for him that even Doflamingo notices, he seems surprised that Law can still trust someone so much. And he knows Law is important to Luffy too, which is why he mocks their friendship to rile Luffy up (see this post).
There is mutual trust, mutual understanding and mutual worry.
In this sense, I also really like the fact that they always stand as equals. Not only because they are both capitains of their own crews, meaning that there is no internal hierarchy between them, but also because that’s just how they treat each other. Even if they’re both kind of selfish and arrogant sometimes, they respect each other very deeply.
I don't know, I could go on for hours, I just think there's so much to say about their dynamics, they are so interesting together, the way they function as a duo is very unique within the series.
I will try to resist the urge to come back to this post to add more random thoughts because I don't want to be too intense :'') But thank you so much for this question, anon! ❤ I always love every opportunity I get to ramble about them!
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