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definitelysel · 17 hours

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PICK YOUR DOMESTIC HUSBAND 🛒

WHICH HUSBAND IS ON THE DOMESTICITY MENU TODAY?

featuring: diluc, alhaitham, zhongli, wriothesley, neuvillette.

synopsis: glimpses into married life with the genshin men.

warnings: implied fem!reader, occasional pet names, ooc (I have a sparse idea how diluc works, mention of "activities" (just mention I can't write smut pls), silly goofy ah loser coded men, mild swearing (damn, heck)

a/n: *stretching my back and crunching my neck.* I'm back from the dead. apologies for the choppy writing. thanks for the support on the other posts, if only I could write 50-page essays thanking everyone. <33 :')) not proofread.

DILUC 🍷

PRODUCT NAME: BREAKFAST AND KISSES IN BED. Diluc always hated the Knights of Favonius…

He hated how most of them just stand around like buffoons and do not partake in any actual work that involves saving Mondstadt. He wouldn’t admit that he enjoys playing Batman. He hated them all except for one.

One he was willing to forgive all flaws of. "Knight of Favonius…always so inefficient,” He scoffed at the pathetic sight of the hilichurls trying to dry roast a few knights roped to a wooden stick for their dinner. “Seriously, You’re so right Master Diluc.” Diluc’s head turned so fast at the sound of a new voice. When did you get here? Were you always there and how did he not sense you around?

That’s simply how you always were. A hard worker amidst slackers – he always termed despite Jean trying to explain that others work hard too. Perhaps that’s what caught his attention, honestly, he would never know what did. “G’morning…” He murmured against your skin, head buried in the crook of your neck, your flushed bare back pressed against him. “5 more minutes…” he heard your soft and groggy voice evoking a chuckle from the usually passive man. “Have I ever told you…how beautiful you are?” Diluc muttered against your skin. You smiled and turned around, “You always do. I remember my Dark-Knight Hero crying at the altar.” You pressed a finger against his chest, while he scoffed at the memory. “Don’t remind me about that, Kaeya doesn’t let me live that down…” He sighed, his brother consistently brought up the matter of him crying whenever he was losing an argument. Foul play if you ask anyone. “So…breakfast downstairs or in the bed?” He planted a kiss on your cheek while you hummed out a response, “Bed, you didn’t exactly go easy on me the previous night.” You recalled the events of the passionate night the day before. The honeymoon phase never seemed to end. “I am so sorry–” He panicked,” You're not in pain are you? I promise I’ll be gentle– I knew I should’ve been more considerat–” You stopped him by pressing a kiss against his lips. He groaned at the feeling of your soft lips touching his hands tangling themselves in your hair.

“I’m kidding silly… you should stop taking things so seriously unless you want me to start searching for grey hairs amidst those red locks of yours.” You snickered out seeing him release a breath of relief.

If the Darknight Hero really does exist, he's probably just someone in disguise. When he gets up in the morning to brush his teeth, it's the real him. He was his real him in front of you. People may call him a loser for such vulnerability…he was a loser for you.

ALHAITHAM 🌱

PRODUCT NAME: READING BOOKS OUT LOUD. One would say married to someone like Alhaitham was nothing short of a nightmare. They weren't 100% right. Shrouded beneath the aloof and meticulous personality resided someone who was in complete denial towards being loved. He loves it.

Who was he kidding? Nobody in a million years thought someone could put up with his insufferable personality — said Kaveh, his unpaying tenant. That was until he ran into you during his time as the newly appointed Scribe. You were like a painter, splashing heaps of paint in his 90s black-and-white life. Was eating ice cream always this enjoyable or was it because it was with you? Was the gossip between co-workers always this interesting or was it because it included you?

Why was his heart having an entire Queen’s rock and roll concert talking to you? Was it cardiac arrest or– He almost shuddered at the thought of it being what they called love.

“You’ve got flour on your face, sweetheart.” His teal eyes blinked amusingly into yours, a faint smile curling up his lips. You must have saved a nation in your previous life to land this man as your husband. Beige shirt perfectly sculpting around his abs – contrary to him calling himself “feeble,” hair slightly tousled and slight sleepiness in his eyes. He might not act like it but he was a little child whose needs had to be tended to like the coffee mug in his hands which you made, like usual. You wouldn’t want a cranky Alhaitham now, would you? “Hmpf, not my fault, this cooking book is completely bogus!” You rubbed your cheeks with the back of your hand, wiping away any remaining flour. “This is so boring…if only someone could provide their poor wife with some entertainment.” You always resorted to theatrics to get him to do things for you, albeit begrudgingly. “No, the same tactic is not going to work again.” “Please…” “No…” He groaned, tone almost pleading not to put him through the torture again. “During better or worse!” You resorted to the ace up to your sleeve. WEDDING VOWS! “Stop quoting the wedding vows.” He sighed in defeat. The most intellectually gifted man in the nation couldn't win against his own wife. Ironical. He got up and grabbed a book out of the bookshelf; a small fraction of his much larger library.

“Miss Elizabeth,” Alhaitham lazily flipped through the pages earning a rebuke. “More emotion! You are ruining the scene.” Alhaitham sighed and cleared his throat, “I love you most ardently…” His tone was feathery soft, emotion surging in it. A smile crept up as he stared at you endearingly.

“That’s much better. Though I seriously think Mr Darcy should’ve said– Miss Elizabeth, allow me to kiseth thy lovely lips.” You mimicked the deep voice of the character with the failing British accent. “Please have mercy on Jane Austen’s ghost and let her enjoy the afterlife.” Alhaitham chuckled and continued reading as you continued baking. It was a shame that a man of such talent only paid attention to the truth itself and not to the people around him. If only the searching eyes of the ordinary say the exception to his indifference, you.

This was your biosphere, just you, him, novels and food encapsulated inside your small home.

ZHONGLI 🪨

PRODUCT NAME: ALWAYS ON HIS MIND. What is the best but the most useless flex you have? Being married to the Geo Archon. The inability to just tell the whole world that you are married to the frigging god was painful. You yourself were surprised by your ability to control yourself. Zhongli was a man of carefully curated words. Instead of words, straight-up poetry flew out of his mouth. Everyone knew how much he adored his wife, every vendor, every acquaintance, heck even Venti. Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's mysterious consultant. Handsome, elegant, and surpassingly learned. Excellent memory. A master of courtesy and rules. The amount of poor women who have tried to grab his attention. "Mr.Zhongli, how does this look?" the woman, who he remembered meeting over a history discussion 17 days ago. "Hm?" his amber eyes shifted to gaze at the hairpiece the lady was holding. "Most exquisite.." He remarked, seemingly going into deep thought. Instead of a compliment, he said something that made the woman back away, "Such beautiful craftsmanship...may I ask you to tell me where you found this? I wish to buy one for my wife–" he paused, seeing the lady vanished after pointing at the shop where she got it from. "Zhongli, you should be able to tell why people approach you..." Hutao sighed, standing beside the rather oblivious gentleman. "Let's just continue...we've got customers to find!" Hutao started walking alongside the railing, hoping to find people in need of funeral services. "Maybe we should go and ask peopl– Zhongli??" Hutao looked around for the Consultant, who was caught up chatting with a shopkeeper over some earrings. "Zhongli!" Hutao called out to him, causing his head to turn towards the director. "Oh, apologies...It seems I got too carried away. These earrings caught my eye...I'm sure [Name} would love them.." he mumbled, staring at the jewellery. "I'll take them." "Mister Zhongli? What about the payment..." The shopkeeper meekly asked, causing Zhongli to turn his head fully at Hutao; gazing expectantly. Hutao should've expected this... "Zhongli, we are out here to find customers! Not buying gifts for [Name], her birthday is months away!" "They say the best things should be done first. After all, why must I wait for one specific day to express my love for my beloved?" Zhongli asked curiously and Hutao shaked her head; love was clearly out of her expertise. Zhongli, he is particular about everything. He only attended the best operas and focused on the perfect ratio for the creation of an authentic dish. On a typical day, all you will glean from him is a few pieces of useless trivia, because he particularly enjoys sharing these fun tidbits with you. He was particular about you and your likings. A smile on your face was what he wanted by the end of the day. For being someone alive for 6000 years, he could proudly say that he loved and cherished something– someone.

"Wait here, Director Hu...Perhaps I should get those flowers over there to accompany the hairpin and earrings..."

WRIOTHESLEY 🐺

PRODUCT NAME: BATTLE TO BUY A DOG OR NOT.

"Wriothesley, I want a dog!" You crossed your arms, staring down at the Duke who was glued to the chair in his office. “But why? That’s just unnecessary responsibility…” Wriothesley sighed, rubbing his temples. This was the 3rd time this month you’ve brought up this topic. Was he that incompetent in terms of filling his role as your significant other? Perhaps not with the never-ending paperwork. Oh, how he wished people would just stop committing crimes. “I get lonely in the Fortress…I want a child.” You put forth your point by using the term ’ child’. Child, dog same thing. You hoped to finally convince him this time.

“We have Sigewinne.” Wriothesley pointed at the head nurse prepping tea in the room with the back of his pen. “I am sorry, Your Grace but playing the role of the child is out of my job description.” The Melusine replied indifferently, pouring freshly seeped tea into the three cups. “Fine, we will go get one…I’ll schedule a meeting with the owner of the pet shelter. Happy?” He asked you, chin resting on his palm. Perhaps getting a dog was a good idea as he was guilty of being unable to spend quality time with you… “No way…” “Isn’t that..?” “The Duke of the Meropide–” “He rarely appears in public..” Wriothesley held out the door to the shelter for you, hoping you would go in and it would finally save him from the gaze of curious onlookers. The two of you walked in, only to be pounced upon by a big dog. “Kal! You sly dog! I knew I shouldn’t have let you out!” The caretaker yelled at the big ball of black fur who had tackled Wriothesley to the floor and was aggressively licking his face, tail wagging in delight. “Are you okay?” You asked your fallen husband, who just chuckled in response. “I am good just– Okay stop! I understand your gesture of love.” Wriothesley got up as the dog encircled him. “This one is so adorable…” you gasped at the cuteness radiating from the dog and its big brown eyes. “You’ve got a keen eye! This is Kal, Shiloh Shepard, one of the finest dogs out there.” The caretaker combed her fingers through the thick and groomed black coat of the canine. “He seems to have taken a liking to the Duke.” The caretaker continued as the dog ran back to Wriothesley, peppering his face with licks. “He even looks like you.” You teased as Wriothesley stared at you in disbelief. You did not just compare him to a dog…he even did a double take at the dog to confirm. “We will take this one then…” He chuckled in amusement. Never had he imagined marrying you and on top of that getting a four-legged beast. Needless to say, Wriothesley proudly walked out of the shelter, holding the big dog in his hands like a child. It felt complete ever since getting Kal; like your own little family. Wriothesley wouldn’t admit it but he loved the dog, despite it hogging all of your love and attention. He didn’t expect to be fighting over cuddling rights with a dog!?

He watched you and Kal sleep peacefully on the couch, keeping him company while he finished up his work. He felt a sense of gratitude…people of the Fortress knew little of the crime he once committed. The only one who still remembers it like yesterday is Wriothesley himself. And no matter how much glory or repute he has earned, he still considers himself to be the same old Wriothesley he's always known.Neither a good person nor a complete villain. He's just another soul, still living on in this world. However, your eyes always reassured him in ways he couldn’t describe. Everything was perfect…

[Name]!! YOURDAMN DOG PISSED ON MY COAT!! Maybe not that perfect…whoops.

NEUVILLETTE 🌊

PRODUCT NAME: HELPING THE OTHER DRESS.

Monsieur Neuvillette, The Iudex of Fontaine, always wondered how his life had come to this. 500 years of serving his position as the Beacon of Justice, a lovely, beaming baker somehow broke the monotony. Well, calling you just a baker was now an insult. With your ring finger bejewelled, with one of the rarest gems– an ode to his undying loyalty and representation of his eternal love. “It’s astounding how a covert mission conducted by melusines could’ve landed someone such as myself a lady like her…” He muttered to himself, seeing his full form in the mirror. “Talking to yourself, again?” You leaned against the door frame, lopsidedly smiling at the peculiar antics of Fontaine’s most distinguished man. “Ah, apologies…I didn’t think you would notice me conversing with myself. Now I find myself in a rather awkward predicament.” He chuckled. Dear god, this man was so beautiful that his beauty was almost blinding with the morning sun perfectly hitting his face.

“Say ah,” You requested and he complied. Who better to take constructive criticism from other than your husband? “New filling?” He covered his mouth while chewing on the croissant. “Yup, how is it? I was experimenting with some Rainbow Roses and these Inazuman berries I bought.” You blinked curiously, waiting for some input. “Hmm it is very pleasant, it is fascinating how you manage to maintain the freshness of the fruit…” You smiled at his compliment, before noticing him struggling with the jabot around his neck. “Need help?” You offered and he nodded his head. “This is absurd..it usually isn’t this difficult.” He frustrated replied, it was amusing to see the cool and collected man all worked up about clothing. “I suggest simplifying your outfit.” You attached the jabot and secured it in with the teardrop brooch, fixing the ruffles.

“Thank you. I do prefer my outfit as it conveys the message I wish for it to convey.” He explained before staring at you. You knew that look, he looked at you with his eyebrows slightly creased when he was hesitating from saying something. “What is it?” “Do I get a goodbye kiss before I leave?” “Pfft! I didn’t think you would take that seriously!” Conclusion: this man was wayyy to cute.

Neuvillette is a solitary person. Neuvillette is not known for his personal desires.

He was deemed as someone with unassailable impartiality. If only they knew that perhaps the Iudex was just a wee bit biased.

a/n 2.0: the crust will come off...hopefully. i wonder if it's possible to guess which one of them is my favourite??

don't steal, copy, plagiarise, or translate.

©definitelysel

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ddejavvu · 8 months

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Rugby!james having a celebratory dinner with his team and he brings shy!you along to meet them for the first time 🥰 they don’t expect you to be so shy considering James is such a loudmouth but they love you all the same ofc. plus james is just enamoured with you so they wouldn’t dare say a bad word about you

Despite James's many, many lectures on proper behavior, Sirius feels like stirring shit. He's sure you won't freak out, he just wants to see how far your sense of humor will go. James has insisted you're shy, and that you're nervous to meet his teammates, but Sirius's love language is teasing. Really, you should feel very loved right now.

"So, Y/N, you're madly in love with James." He observes, setting his glass on the table in the low light of the restaurant's patio seating, "Have you ever seen him after a match?"

Your face flushes at the accusation, even though it's true, and you nod warily. Remus groans at Sirius' goading, but pays polite attention to you.

"Pads..." James warns, but as is his specialty, Sirius ignores him.

"So you're okay with the disgusting, sweaty, grass-stained, adrenaline-drunk buffoon that cries in the showers when we lose."

James sighs, and you merely turn to him with a hint of concern on your face.

"Do you really cry?"

Before James can answer, Sirius gushes, "Oh, all the time. 'S pathetic, really, you can hear him blubbering in there 'cause he can't be a sore loser in front of the other team."

"Sirius," James is more tense this time, but Sirius won't be deterred.

"Personally, I make sure my tears are never out at the same time as my cock, but you do whatever you want, mate."

He's done it. He's said a word, the word, that makes the heat in your cheeks spread all the way to your ears and neck. You're on fire, you're burning up, and James yanks you into his side to cool you with the icy tone of his voice that he levels at Sirius.

"Nice going, Pads." James sneers, leaving Remus to corral their mutual nuisance as he ducks down to speak with you at a murmur, "S'alright, darling, ignore him. And- uh, yeah, I do cry in the showers sometimes. Not as often as Sirius said. But- but it happens."

"Oh," You nod, trying to recover from the humiliation that's trying to seep into your bones, "Well- if you want, you can cry to me. You don't have to do it alone in the shower."

James's face splits into a bright grin, and he refrains from smashing a kiss to your mouth only because he knows it'll embarrass you more. Instead he presses it to your forehead, which is only slightly less embarrassing.

"Thanks, darling." He squeezes your waist, and apparently he's just as wicked as Sirius, because the thought forms in his brain and he can't slow its rapid movement towards his mouth even though he knows he needs to. He at least manages to dull his voice into a barely-audible whisper, ensuring Sirius won't hear him and make a show of it as he presses his shit-eating grin to your ear, "Can I still get naked first?"

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theblasianbarbie · 10 months

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Sorry I’m white not allowed to donate

See that’s more reason to donate. What you think is a topical joke is you being racist. People are already ignoring me because I’m a black woman so you throwing this in my face is just disrespectful and a microaggression. Rather than be sarcastic you could listen to black ppl and be an ally and help them get basic healthcare because our identities unfortunately make us more likely to experience poverty and least likely to escape it. This isn’t funny. It’s mean and it’s racist.

Anyway here’s the link to my gofundme you buffoon. If y’all are not like this racist loser help my black ass out before I kms honestly https://gofund.me/40fd9c7c

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skysmadness · 3 months

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will solace is a fool. an absolute buffoon and he is quite literally my child. this GUY has looked at nico di angelo one (1) time and held his gaze once when he first arrived to camp because that boy is so stubborn he started arguing with a hundred plus year old centaur while sword traning and injured himself and will's little kid heart went "oh!" and then he saw him again at the battle of manhattan and said "oh again!"

it is so important to me that he has been crushing on nico for so long. he is Mr. McPiner, he is Yearning Extraordinaire.

does he show it?? no. he doesn't. and i don't think he ever told his siblings about it (although i am sure Lee had his suspicions and Michael was like "oh shit really") but i know he involuntary let something slip to lou and cecil so when BoO happened and will went absolutely crazy over nico again they teased him relentlessly over it.

("top five things to say to your long term crush if you're a loser," lou ellen stated proudly, pointing to her imaginary power point presentation, "number one: hey, i just delivered a satyr baby, wanna hold hands?"

cecil got up from the floor, "number two: hey also? you're gonna melt into nothingness so you're gonna have to spend three days with me."

he points to his nonexisting audience, aka literally only will who is seconds from ascending, "protip, call him friendly face. he'll go crazy."

will solace was found face down the floor of the hecate cabin. people are not sure he is breathing as he does not respond to poking nor kicking. he has probably passed. no he hasn't. he's just dramatic.)

#i fucking love will solace #hes smart but hes an idiot he is so kind he is quite literally the most annoying person ever #thats my ride or die 🙏#will solace #pjo #ryurambles

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comic-book-fan-us · 5 months

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Me, talking about my comfort characters: What a loser. What an absolute, pathetic buffoon. Just the biggest fucking goober on the planet.

#comfort characters #clint barton #azula #shadowheart #ada nevermore #gajeel redfox #hank pym #dinobot beast wars #bruce wayne #tim drake #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #most of the batfam really #kyouko kirigiri #gundham tanaka #amity blight #piccolo jr #fandom

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calisources · 6 months

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𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 all quotes and sentences are taken from sarah j. mass's throne of glass. spoilers for the book. change names, pronouns, locations and whatever else you see fit.

“Libraries were full of ideas—perhaps the most dangerous and powerful of all weapons.”

"You could do anything, if only you dared. And deep down, you know it, too. That’s what scares you most.”

“No. I can survive well enough on my own— if given the proper reading material.”

We all bear scars,... Mine just happen to be more visible than most.”

“My name is Celaena Sardothien. But it makes no difference if my name's Celaena or Lillian or Bitch, because I'd still beat you, no matter what you call me.”

“Names are not important. It's what lies inside of you that matters.”

“Still, the image haunted his dreams throughout the night: a lovely girl gazing at the stars, and the stars who gazed back.”

“Sometimes, the wicked will tell us things just to confuse us–to haunt our thoughts long after we've faced them.”

"No fair maiden should die alone,"

“We each survive in our own way.”

“As my friend, you should either bring me along, or keep me company."

“Second place is a nice title for the first loser.”

“I wasn't going to kill him, you buffoon.”

"Now you must pretend that you like me, or else everything will be ruined.”

“I'm not married,because I can't stomach the idea of marrying a woman inferior to me in mind and spirit. It would mean the death of my soul.”

“Apparently, a woman can only go so long without a sword between her hands.”

“I never intended to escape.”

“I don't quite comprehend why you'd force someone to bow when the purpose of the gesture is to display allegiance and respect.”

“What's the point in having a mind if you don't use it to make judgements?”

“Would you like to dance with me?”

“If he weren’t here, I would have said yes.”

“I mean it. Why aren’t you dancing with anyone? Aren’t there ladies whom you like?”

“You always wear that necklace”

“No one deserves to be whipped like an animal.”

“You’re remarkably judgmental.”

“Magic makes people dangerous. ”

“The fear of loss … it can destroy you as much as the loss itself.”

“There was good in people - deep down, there was always a shred of good.”

Well, 'scowling escort' is a better description. Or 'reluctant acquaintance', if you prefer.

I'm the Captain of the Guard-I'm not exactly a catch for any of them."

I want a husband to warm my bed, and my bed alone.

"I can act and talk like a lady, if it pleases me.

“If you'd like to unwrap me, we still have an hour until the temple service.”

“Perhaps you should consider your difficulty in getting past Wendlyn's naval defences to be a sign that you should stop playing at being a god."

“You deserve to be laughed at for such foolish thoughts! I spoke from my soul; you speak only from selfishness.”

“What’s the point in having a heart if you don’t use it to spare others from the harsh judgments of your mind?”

“Marriage is a legal contract -- it's not a sacred thing.”

“I hate women like that. They're so desperate for the attention of men that they'd willingly betray and harm members of their own sex.”

“I was merely observing; I have no agenda."

"If it pleases Your Magnanimous Holiness, I shall call you by your first name.”

“You look rather pretty today,”

“Shall I gag you, or are you capable of being silent without my assistance?”

“If you don’t stop feeling and start instructing, I’m going to rip out your eyes and replace them with these billiard balls.”

“Perhaps allowing them to be friends was a horrible, dangerous idea.”

“I win,” he breathed.”

“I am still your king. You will obey me, Dorian Havilliard, or you will pay. I’ll have no more of your questioning.”

“I can survive well enough on my own—if given proper reading material.”

“Beautiful. Deadly. Destined for greatness.”

“This is the most beautiful dress I’ve ever worn,”

“You could win the hand of a king, looking like that.Or perhaps a Crown Prince will do.”

“What a miserable state for a girl of former beauty!”

“This is Her Royal Highness the Princess Nehemia Ytger of Eyllwe.”

“The princess tires of your company.”

“You’re awfully quiet today,”

“The city on the Silver Lake?

“to face a featureless young woman with golden hair and a crown far too heavy for her to bear—”

“Stop whining. No one gives a damn about your clothes.”

“You’re immensely entertaining when you’re hopping mad.”

“You certainly have a lot of stamina,"

"While some parents hit their children, mine also punished me with dancing lessons."

“Magic calls to magic.”

I like music,because when I hear it, I … I lose myself within myself, if that makes sense. I become empty and full all at once, and I can feel the whole earth roiling around me.”

“Light and darkness. Life and death. Where do I fit in?”

“I should go to bed,”

“Winter was unforgiving when you lived in the shadow of the Ruhnn Mountains.”

“I sort of wanted to kiss him.”

“Are you going to kiss me again?”

“Cain seemed bigger and bigger.”

“Dorian is more inclined to associate with ladies of better breeding and beauty.”

“What a foolish tradition.”

“Princes are not supposed to be handsome! They’re sniveling, stupid, repulsive creatures! This one … this … How unfair of him to be royal and beautiful.”

“Something about him makes me want to beat in his face.”

“She knew that sword. Nothung was its name.”

“Damn him for being so handsome!”

#roleplay memes #sentence meme #( cali meme. )#rp memes #rp prompt #rp musings #roleplay prompt

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eldritch-spouse · 11 months

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Cero: WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Me: I used your hair gel to give myself a Mohawk! That being said, is it normal for it to burn?

" AND YOU USED MY SPECIFIC BRAND OF HAIR GEL, YOU COMPLETE, WITLESS BUFFOON?! "

The King of Pride booms, boots clinking as he quickly strides across the room to grab you by the shoulders, observing the disgrace that has become your hair.

No shit your scalp is burning, that hair gel is made for a demon of his caliber, it'll turn your hair into a fucking weapon, you're not supposed to put it on the roots like that- Your poor, poor skin is going to fucking peel itself off.

" Idiot. Moron. Loser! " Cero spits, though his tone isn't furious, filled instead of far too much concern while he palps at the greatly irritated skin and you wince audibly.

In a blink, you've been physically lifted off the floor, held under the demonlord's arm as he speed-walks out of the room, kicking doors off their hinges in his haste.

" GET THE OILS. NOW! "

Is the last thing you hear him scream before you're locked in a bathroom with the King himself and at least nine imps all picking and plucking at your scalding scalp.

Judging by the fuming glare he's currently wearing, you're in for one Hell of a scolding.

#Cero oc #tce rp ask #you put on Cero's hair gel and your skin stretches back until you look like a cenobite

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finniestoncrane · 6 days

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Hello Finnie! I was curious, How long have you been a fan of the riddler? What caused you to realize how much you like him as a character? I've been a big fan of him for about nine months now, ever since I first played arkham Asylum! Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful week! 💚

IT GETS YOU DOESN'T IT!? it gets you FAST lmao

my 2 year tumblr anniversary is in july this year, and that will mark 2 years of pining after that beautiful loser lol so i'm fresh to him like you are u-u 💚

SO i thought i hated batman for the longest time because my husband only showed me the nolan trilogy and that's just james bond with pointy ears, so i avoided it like the plague

then the batman came out, and i didn't see it in cinemas either, but my husband did. tiktok kept showing me all these edits of a round headed buffoon and i was like "OK GIRL" and my husband (knowing that i once had a mental breakdown and thought i could solve the zodiac killings) was like "i think you should see this"

head over heels. the theatrics? the drama? the obsession with batman and the dumb ass little riddles?

then i came back to tumblr after a veeeeeeery long break and in the riddler tags people kept talking about arkham riddler, and luckily my husband had played all the games and owned them so he helped me play the asylum and i was like GIDDY whenever eddie was mean to me

each riddler after that was bestowed upon me like a gift from my beloved friends, i think i went soft for gotham riddler first, then zero year(?) and then i just sort of found the others as i went along

i think i have ranked the boys before, but i will say arkham remains my favourite boy, specifically arkham knight. i love me a dishevelled man approaching his mid-50s with a receding hairline and the ability to be a psychosexual nightmare father figure to me lmao

i feel like i'm right in heacanonning him in his 50s, youngest late 40s for arkham knight, it just tracks. like he's had it rough but not that rough, it's natural aging for that range. and i like old men. that's a BIG thing for me >:3 he also has big strong forearms and a nice amount of body hair (he could stand to have more, but it's fine i can cope). i also like dumb nerds with round glasses. AND i love when someone's mean and grumpy. AND AND AND my dad is a terrible person, so my grandparents were my father figure, and my papa used to let me sit in his garage while he worked on making things, so there's a nice bit of nostalgia with arkham riddler, like i know he would smell like my childhood and my safe space (i'm warped but i have a therapist it's fine) 💚💚💚

who are your favourites?? who are all of you guys' favourite riddlers??

#SORRY I RAMBLED this ask made me so happy today after yesterday and i just like talking about my green bean!!#friends being friends #anon

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sugawarassoulmate · 2 years

Note

i was wondering about loser!kuroo‘s reaction when reader calls him his bf by accident 😆😆 Like imagine a girl is hitting on kuroo and readers gets mad and mentions it haha

idk why but this reminded me of that scene from that 70s show lol

this would totally happen during one of kuroo's practices. people like to come and watch the team (ogle kuroo while he's all sweaty) sometimes you'll tag along if there's a break in your schedule or if you're planning on dragging kuroo out somewhere later.

today the team is playing a practice game with another school. you've seen him play dozens, if not hundreds of time already and you're uncharacteristically more focused on the paper that's due at midnight than kuroo absolutely destroying it on the court.

you're trying to do your best to hit the word count when a grating, shrill voice hits your ear. the game ended just a few minutes ago and, of course, kuroo won and the fan girls don't waste any time praising him.

"you were so amazing out there," one of them said, leaning over the railing to get closer to him. "the team is soooo lucky to have you."

kuroo is too nice to tell her to fuck off, but you can tell he's trying to separate from her. standing back under the guise of the fact that he's still sweaty from the game. "thank you for thinking so," he laughs, eyes searching the bleachers for you. his smile gets bigger when your eyes meet.

but a hand is suddenly on his chest. the same girl, giggling like an idiot, invites kuroo to some stupid party happening later. kuroo's about to turn her down gently, tell her that he already has plans, but her hand is suddenly pulled back. the girl falls back in her seat with a yelp.

"my boyfriend doesn't want to go to your stupid fucking party. you can fuck off now." the girl and her friends fumble over their words and scramble away while you roll your eyes. looking back at the giant buffoon next you, kuroo's face is beet red with a dopey smile on his face. "the fuck are you looking at?"

"i'm your boyfriend now?" he says, unable to contain the grin. the realization hits you like a ton of bricks and like those dumb girls before you're stumbling as you tell him to "shut the fuck up" before grabbing your bag.

"text me when you're done here, bye," you blurt out, leaving the gym without another passing glance.

#tetsurou kuroo x reader #kuroo x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #loser!kuroo #🍑#🍑kuroo

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gale-gentlepenguin · 2 years

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Gale's Analysis: Ron Stoppable is the Epitome of Secret Badass

Ron Stoppable, The buffoon, the sidekick, the loser, the guy with a naked mole rat.

Suffice to say, Ron at first impression is just a weird teen. And for those that have made that assumption, you are right. Ron is weird. He follows the beat of his own drum. Yes he can get swayed by fads, yes he is afraid of monkeys and yes he is often losing his pants more times than a person should.

But today I will be talking to you about why this guy is not only a secret badass but the best example of one.

_________________________________________________

To be a Secret Badass.

Now there is a trope called Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass, this trope often involves an unassuming character (usually seen as a joke or weakling) and then revealing that they are actually super powerful, competent in some way shape or form.

Now I actually dont think this works for Ron because, with this trope, the individual KNOWS what they are doing is a front. That unassuming action is mainly something they put out there while the true self is the competent individual who is either Super smart, super strong, or super skilled.

But here is the thing, Ron isnt putting up a front, this is his personality. He is a bit of a slacker, doesnt follow trends, is obsessed with cartoons, goes trick or treating, gets caught up in kid stuff, everything Ron does is because he is Ron.

But thats why I think he counts as a Secret Badass, because Ron isnt Hiding the fact that he is a badass, he has NO IDEA HE IS ONE. He just performs the actions by accident or instinct without it really having it sink in.

Now to go further into what I mean. Ron thinks he is an untalented slacker idiot, a coward that struggles with girls, and a guy that cant fight or be the cool athlete.

But in truth Ron is actually a genius, athletic, smooth fighting badass.

Yes, I am being 100% serious. Ron is all of those things

Please bare with me. I can explain

______________________________________________________________

Ron the Genius

Now throughout the show Ron doesnt really make much of an effort to do his homework. usually settling for a passing grade. While Kim, his best friend and the star of the show is constantly getting A's and showing her intelligence on the regular. At first glance it is very hard to see oneself think that Ron is smart, ESPECIALLY compared to the intellect of others in the show, Like Wade, Tim and Jim,Dr.Possible (Both her parents), the super scientists they have helped or fought. But Ron is actually pretty smart.

Ron's intellect shines when he takes an interest in something. Like cooking, able to easily ace Home Economics, create the Naco (Ron received a $99 million royalty payment on the further sales of the Naco up to that point in time "Ron Millionaire" ) A testament to his cooking genius. Figure out Niche connections that Kim had overlooked.

Ron's most impressive intellectual feet was actually when he was pretending to be a genius (Naked Genius). Rufus had snuck into Drakken's brain gain helmet and became super smart. So Ron had Rufus do his home work, and the result was having people shocked by how brilliant he is. Resulting in Shego and Drakken kidnapping him to make a doomsday device. Which he actually manages to create!

And after that, he was able to complete his math homework with ease, even earning an A on the next assignment.

But for those of you who think thats a fluke. Allow me to introduce, evil ron

After getting his good swapped with Drakken's evil due to a faulty invention gone wrong at Villain con (Episode Badboy). Ron becomes a super villain. Able to create SEVERAL evil weapons of destruction. Creating schemes to COUNTER Kim's approaching his Lair and even stall Kim for long periods of time to prepare for his True evil plan. He created a plasma catapult, a weather generator, and several gadgets that helped him keep Shego in line. (He was so smart and evil he MADE SHEGO INTIMIDATED).

Ron is often inhibited by his self doubt and laziness. Often feeling that the world around him is so vast that it is not worth the effort to try, but when push comes to shove, Ron is smart enough to rival intellects that surround him. He just needs to have a bit more confidence.

_____________________________________________________________

Ron the Athlete

Ron is typically portrayed as clumsy and lacking in bravery. He tends to "trip over his own feet" in most episodes, often in comical or socially embarrassing ways, and during missions it is common for him to comically fail to do something that Kim has done flawlessly—for example, he might ski backward down a mountain and collide with a tree just after Kim has successfully navigated the slope. He also loses his pants often on missions.

But in truth, we as the viewer fail to realize how impressive Ron is. Sure he will accidentally do some insane feat in extreme sports but its seen as a fluke. But we dont actually understand how athletic Ron is until the movie "A Sitch in Time". Where Ron is half way around the world and has trouble meeting Kim for Missions. So Kim's solution, have Monique help her out. And Monique is a pretty typical teen, seems decently in shape, and strong willed. It would make sense that she could be a possible replacement.

WELL THAT IMMEDIATELY BACK FIRES. Its revealed that Monique is WAY OUT of her depth, she comments that maybe after 10 years of training would she be ready to take on another mission like this. Which really puts into perspective how impressive it is that Ron is able to keep up with Kim in most situations. Ignoring the comedic relief.

But another clear example of his athleticism is his ability to run. While initially using a super suit to make the football team and become the QB, (in season 4). Ron eventually lost the suit and had to play the game with his own skill, and he won the game by Running so much he out ran everyone on the opposite team to the point of exhaustion and scored a touch down. Becoming the team’s Running back instead. While played for laughs as this was because he is so used to running for his life, it is still should be noted that he ran fast, and dealt with very athletic individuals.

He also is shown to have incredible reflexes, avoiding traps and danger through dance and rather amazing feats of physical prowess. (And this is without mystical monkey power)

There is more to it but Ron is a surprisingly good athlete, and probably one of the few people that could keep up with Kim. Making him such a reliable side kick.

______________________________________________________________

Ron the Smooth Player

SMOOTH RON STOPPABLE

But in all seriousness, Ron's luck with girls is actually not that bad. He had girls take interest in him through out the series. His first crush being Amelia (an attractive upper classman that developed a thing for him when he got a new haircut “The New Ron”. And flirted with her with some success in "Ron Millionaire"

Then there was Tara, a Cheerleader that showed Ron interest for sometime. Such as in "Sink or Swim" when the cheersquad was trapped in Camp Wanaweep

Even using terms he used at times. like "Badical"

Though Ron never did catch on that She was into him and she ended up dating Josh who was Kim's former lover interest.

Next there was Zita Flores

The ticket girl at the theater Kim and Ron often went to. And was Ron's love interest for most of season 2. Ron managed to win her over and even dated her for a bit, tried to impress her by playing a game that she and her friends played. But unfortunately it sort of fizzled because they both didnt really agree on what was considered a date.

And next up we have Yori

(I had a crush on Yori as a kid, so I am including her image solely for that)

Meeting Ron when he was part of the student exchange program, for the Yamanouchi Ninja School. n the episode "Exchange", Ron shows repeated interest in Yori. He was having trouble fitting in yet she was kind and helped him out every step of the way. Ron proves himself when he helps save the school and Yori believes in his abilities. Though Ron like with other girls failed to see that Yori "Liked him liked him" until their second meeting.

Though the third time they met Ron and Kim were and Item and Yori was cool with it. Which is nice to see they are gone good terms

Bonnie was on the list but it wasnt because of liking Ron it was more about liking either his Money (Ron Millionaire) or His popularity in "Homecoming Upset"

But interestingly most of these relationships, Ron is not trying to be someone he isnt (except Bonnie). And he is winning these girls over. Showing he has some sort of charisma. But for main proof, lets look at the main Relationship we are here for, his one with Kim.

This right here is proof that the boy has some sort of charm. Sure they had been friends for years and it had been slowly building up to the point when they FINALLY admit it. Sure the guy that Kim Fell for in So the Drama was basically just a calmer and more Confident version of Ron but actually an evil robot.

But the beauty is the relationship itself. Ron goes to such lengths to show Kim how much he cares and is willing to do anything for her. Fearing she would dump him because its senior year and Cheerleaders only date jocks/Popular stars. Boy joins the football team. Kim wants to go on more romantic dates, boy gets a job to pay for it. Ron also shows to be encouraging and while a bit of a worrywart is great for Kim.

So in conclusion Ron can be smooth... in his nerdy true to himself way

____________________________________________________________

Ron the Fighter

So did I mention he has mystical monkey power?

During the Season 1 episode "Monkey Fist Strikes", Ron was exposed to ancient magical energy from four jade monkey statues which imbued him with "Mystical Monkey Powers", including an instinctive knowledge of the martial art of "Tai Sheng Pek Kwar" (大圣劈挂, translates to "The big saint divides hangs") as well as superhuman speed and strength. Though after the episode its believed to have been lost.

Until the Episode "Exchange" in which has him at the Ninja school. He gets some training. Allowing him to learn how to fight better. Even letting him tap into the martial art he thought he lost access to. He was able to wield the Lotus Blade and Beat Fukushima (a talented student and traitor of the school)

Ron may not always fight in the show but when he does, he unveils his true ability. One example is during the Movie a sitch in time. When he found out Shego had basically ruined Bueno Nacho and seperated Kim and Him by sending him to norway. In his rage he flipped an incredibly buff and genetically enhanced Drakken with one move and destroyed the Time monkey, thus saving the world.

Ron also showed that when turned evil he is actually a very vicious fighter (his reluctance and more timid nature removed) he easily bested well over 30 super hero clones in seconds, and was agile enough to out match a super strong Hego.

Ron in the finale "Graduation" shows his greatest feats of fighting, besting the super strong alien invaders (see picture above), then proceeding to go super saiyan blue.

And he threw the two aliens into orbit into their crashing space ship presumably ending them. (I am not kidding its right here)

youtube

Ron is an absolute fighting badass, only held back by his self esteem. But at this point, I think he really is unstoppable

___________________________________________________________

Ron the Secret Badass

All that aside, sure there is the monkey kung fu, the bouts of brilliance or even the impressive game. Ron was basically a normal guy flung into a world of crazy super powerful people and because he wanted to keep close to his best friend managed to climb insurmountable odds and become someone spectacular.

Ron may not think much of his abilities but he really is Unstoppable

#Kim possible #gale's analysis #ron stoppable #ron the secret badass #I miss this show #analysis posts #Youtube

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phantomtgm · 2 years

Text

Sneaky Link - Part Two

Requested by : @elenavampire21 @hangmandruigandmav

The bar was buzzing with people tonight. I leaned against the pool table as I sipped from my beer, letting the rest of my comrades argue about who was winning the game.

“Rooster! That was a lousy shot!” Hangman exclaimed and I rolled my eyes. Taking another sip of beer, I let my eyes wander across the room and was met by my sisters who had a not so friendly look on her face.

Uh oh. Time to go.

Ever since the other day in class with Maverick, my sister has been hounding me on what happened between us and I continued to feign innocence. If she knew what we were up to, there would be no end to the lectures on why I shouldn’t mess around with anyone who was in the Navy, especially him.

I made a move to walk away from the pool table but Natasha stepped in my way and said “And where are you going?” She raised a brow which made me laugh and I said “I was just leaving.”

“You never want to spend time with me or anyone else anymore, what’s going on?” The sad tone that she took made me feel bad about trying to run off which made me think that she was right.

I was so busy with Maverick that I wasn’t making time for my sister so I grinned and said “Nothing, let’s go play some pool.” That seemed to satisfy her for now which made me happy.

The sound of my cue stick hitting the eight ball rang my ears and I shouted at the fact that I just won the game.

“Oh come on Y/n!” Hangman exclaimed and I just laughed as I fist bumped Nat.

“Don’t be a sore loser Bagman.” My sister teased and I just giggled, I grabbed my beer but realized it was empty so I turned to Nat and told her I was going to get another beer.

“I’ll be right back.”

I walked towards the bar, weaving in and out of the other people that were in the bar and finally made it to where Penny, the owner was currently serving a few other pilots in the Navy.

“Hey girl!” Her eyes caught mine and she grinned.

“What can I get you?” I raised my glass and said “Another round if you don’t mind.” Immediately giving me a refill, she said “Anything for you Y/n.”

“Thank you!” I had to yell as the people next to me were being really loud then as I turned to head back to my group, I noticed a certain someone sitting at the bar.

Maverick.

And he was sitting there looking away. I narrowed my eyes, I was sure as hell he had seen me, there was no way he didn’t.

In fact the look on his face was far from innocent but I just shook my head, laughing as I walked back towards the buffoons I came here with.

“Is that Maverick?” Payback asked, surprised, which I don’t know why. Maverick comes here all the time.

I glanced up because I was secretly hoping he was watching me and my face immediately warmed as I noticed he was doing exactly that.

A smirk appeared on that beautiful face and all I wanted to do was drop my panties for that man.

I looked away because if I continued looking at the man who instantly made me wet as soon as I glanced at him, everyone, including my sister, were going to figure out why I’ve been acting weird and disappearing.

“Y/n!” Not realizing someone had been speaking to me, I looked up and saw Natasha smiling and pointing outside at the sunset.

It was beautiful but my mind was a bit distracted at the moment, especially when a buzzing in my back pocket got my attention.

I pulled my phone out and saw that Maverick had texted me.

Mav ;) - See something you like?

My breathing hitched as I looked up and saw Maverick casually drinking his beer. Oh so he was going to play coy.

I went to type but I got another message.

Mav ;) - I think Hangman has a thing for you.

Confusion blanketed my thoughts as I turned to see that Hangman was looking at me but I didn’t care so I sent back : “Please, I only have eyes for one man.”

I turned back around, hoping to focus on the game but it was hard especially when Maverick kept texting, teasing me.

Mav ;) - And who might that be?

I groaned internally because this man just made me want to pounce.

“Hmm…he’s a captain in the Navy and he may or may not have shot down three migs in his career. Quite impressive.”

Not even a minute later.

Mav ;) - Know what else is impressive?

Suddenly a heat pooled deep into my belly and if Maverick kept on with his teasing I was going to have to walk away from my group of friends so I gathered the courage to look at Maverick who was staring at me with an intensity that I had never seen before.

The green in his eyes deepened as I sensed how horny he was.

Frustration bubbled up as I began to type. “You keep looking at me that way and we’re going to end up in the backseat of my car.”

I smirked as I watched him read my text.

Instantly he replied. “Sounds like a challenge.” I looked up slowly, like a lion looking at its prey.

He smirked and I had to force myself to turn around.

“Who’s winning?” I asked, my tone a bit off. Nat narrowed her eyes but didn’t say anything so I crossed my legs and pretended that I wasn’t as turned on as I actually was.

Several moments passed before I received another text.

Mav ;) - Having trouble focusing?

The heat in my belly deepened and I gripped the pool table so hard my knuckles turned white.

Mav ;) - I know I am…all I want to do is run my tongue down your clit.

I sighed in frustration and finally pushed off the wall I was leaning on. He wanted to play this game, fine, he completely won.

I walked towards him, giving him a look, hoping he would catch on.

Not caring that Natasha was staring daggers at my back, I walked outside, directly to my car.

I knew Maverick was behind me but I didn’t turn around. Approaching my car, I opened my backdoor and threw myself inside, waiting for Maverick who slid right in with ease. As soon as the door shut, I pounced on Maverick who gripped my hips.

My lips hit his and we were both hungry for each other. The kisses turned sloppy and Maverick pulled back, catching his breath. “Someone’s horny.” His tone made me grip his hair even tighter then I said “Yeah I wonder who got me that way.” Sarcasm dripped from my mouth as I reached down, fumbling with his belt, not bothering with his shirt.

As soon as I got my own pants off, I lowered myself onto his cock, hissing at how amazing he felt.

“Fuck Y/n…you’re so damn wet.” Maverick’s voice got deeper in octave and I opened his eyes, seeing how he was looking at me as I began to grind against him.

His hands gripped my hips, pressing me down harder so I began to faster, earning another mouthful of cuss words from the man that I could never deny.

I pounced up and down, moaning as Maverick dug his fingers into my sides. I kissed him hard as he slipped his tongue into my mouth and within a second, I could feel something build inside of me begging to be released.

The sound of skin slapping against skin was enough to make me spill over the edge and I tipped my head back in euphoria, my grip loosening on Maverick as I felt his cock twitch inside of me.

I was still coming down as I felt his cum inside of me and I sighed, leaning against Maverick. His heartbeat was fluttering as I attempted to calm mine down.

“Damn…remind me to tease you more.” Maverick finally spoke after several long moments. I pulled my sweaty forehead from his chest and looked Maverick in his eyes, feeling an immense amount of love.

He swiped the hair out of my face and placed a tender kiss on my lips. “We should probably get back before my sister has a fit.” I spoke softly.

His signature smirk appeared on his face as he said “What do you think she’ll do if she ever finds out about us?” I shook my head, not even wanting to think about that but Maverick lifted my chin so I could see his face and he said “You might want to look outside.”

I narrowed my eyes, letting them drift to the window and immediately shot up, hitting my head against the ceiling as my sister was standing outside my car with her arms crossed.

“Y/N!” She exclaimed.

“Fuck!” I said as I looked back at Maverick who was laughing.

“This isn’t funny!” I yelled as Maverick continued in his laughing fit.

I was so screwed.

tag list : @elenavampire21

@hangmandruigandmav

@mslizziesblog

#pete mitchell fanfiction #pete mitchell x y/n #pete maverick mitchell #pete maverick #maverick fanfic #maverick x reader #maverick imagine #top gun #top gun imagine #top gun maverick #top gun 1986 #top gun fanfiction #top gun smut #maverick smut #maverick x you

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paixarina · 11 months

Text

I GOT IT

✧. ┊KENTA MIKOSHIBA x GN!Reader

✧. ┊SUMMARY: You and Kenta decide to take a small challenge in the game while provoking each other about who would win first.

✧. ┊CONTENT: Strictly platonic, Kenta being a gremlin pissbaby gamer, reader is a passionate, competitive gamer who enjoys some challenge in gaming and won't hesitate to provoke others just to convince others to join them, but inside they have a soft, supportive heart.

“You think you can beat me in the game? Let's see.”

“Huh?! You want to beat my ass in a game?! Really?! Be for real, small fry!”

A mocking, sour insult came from a teal-haired teenage boy's mouth, as you suddenly tell him that you want to do a challenge him in a game together. He stares at you in a condescending way, underestimate your gaming skill before the game challenge started.

“Of course, I wanna challenge you! Since you always bragging on the gaming forum that you are the best gamer ever lol. I wanna see if you can beat me in this game!” You mockingly teased him back while leaving a cheeky smile on your face.

You have know Kenta via game forum since he always been known in the gaming community for being foul-mouthed and always bragging his gaming skill whenever he won in a game tournament.

Coincidentally, you are a gamer who's also in the same gaming community as Kenta. So, seeing people's comment talking about his foul behaviour during gaming on the forum makes you curious while find hum funny, especially the fact his insults sounding like an angry spoiled child. Now, you are meeting him face-to-face instead of online.

Like, how are you gonna take him seriously?

Kenta sighs angrily and insults you. “You can't just come to meet me only to underestimate my gaming skill, you fucking small fry! Are you trying to joke with me, you fucking fool?!” He clinched his fist angrily, holding an urge to punch your face.

You wheezed. “Is this the same gamer who I saw on the gaming forum? That foul-mouthed young gamer whose name is endbringer666?” You chuckled after he insults you and the fact he sounds serious at it.

Kenta gets flabbergasted over your competitive behaviour, which increase his annoyance more. With no hesitation, he gives you a huge middle finger while stick his tongue mockingly. “Let's see if I could win this challenge, dumbass!”

You accept his offer with granted. “I'm ready to beat you in this game. What about you?” You asked with an intention to provoke him. Then, Kenta glares at you in a condescending way. “Of course I'm ready to beat your ass, loser! Don't fucking underestimate me, you moron!”

You smirked. “Let's see who will gonna be the winner and the loser here, hehe.” Kenta stares at you and growls angrily.

Kenta snapped. “OF COURSE I WILL BE THE WINNER YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON! I WILL GONNA WIN THIS CHALLENGE! MARK MY WORD SMALL FRY!”

“Hah! I won! Eat that, brat!”

You shouted excitedly, as the game screen on your device shows the player rank where your name is on the 1st place as the winner, while Kenta is placed on the 2nd place, much of his displeasure.

Later, He cynically stares at you, with an urge to yell at you for losing against you in the game. He grinds his teeth, groans angrily and then he outrageously snapped.

“YOU'RE CHEATING, RIGHT?! I KNOW YOU'RE CHEATING HOW CAN I LOSE AGAINST YOU HUH?!?!” Kenta yells while glares at you directly.

“Of course I'm not, brat! I just uses my gaming skill as I can, trust me.” You quickly denied his accusation casually, while he still not convinced to your defense and doubting it.

“Huh...? Are you sure about that?” Kenta stares at you with a doubtful, cynical expression on his face. He sighs in disappointment while staying silent. You looked at him acting unusually calm and confused. Is he accepting his defeat now?

“Hey, so you finally accept your defeat?” You asked him with a friendly tone. Kenta nodded while still feel reluctant, as he stares to the game screen with a frowned face.

“...Yeah, I don't care of this shit anymore. You won.” Kenta compliments you with a dry tone. You went silent and then attempted to tease him again, however, you decided to change your mind and trying to cheer him instead.

“Well, you know games are supposed to be fun, right? Even if it's competitive.” You said. “Who cares, small fry! I play whatever the fuck I want just so I can provoke people whatever I like!” Kenta replied with a dry tone. You sighed to his stubbornness since he is so hard to convince.

“Hey, can we play this game again? It's not a challenge by the way. We can have some fun.” You asked. Kenta looks at you with a grumpy face and sighed, then nodded.

“Okay, small fry! I'm gonna defeat your ass this time!” He smirked while giving a fist bump to you. You give it back to him and decided to play the game together less seriously since this time is not about high scores or challenge anymore. You looked at Kenta who looks much happier and more passionate than before.

“I will gonna win the game this time. I got it.”

#paradox live #paralive #pararai #paradox live x reader #paralive x reader #paradox live headcanons #paralive headcanons #gokuluck #kenta mikoshiba #mikoshiba kenta #🌸 ;; vanie writes #hello pararai fandom im coming back to wrote some cringe again. this time is a pissbaby gremlin gamer boi #kenta nation here is your food. enjoy clowning over him teehee

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mirohtron · 1 year

Text

merry chrysler i joined a secret santa thing hosted by crewe (@creweemmaeec11) love u crewe anyway I'm writing for @auratusaria hi hello

their prompt was: Supervillain isn't the type of person to celebrate the holidays, but villain and their henchmen want to show their appreciation for Supervillain being the best boss they could ever have so they plan a secret Christmas party! The villain could drag any heroes along too for it as well.

—

The betrayal went like this: the hero, leaning against the wall, panting, exhausted of all their powers, yet satisfied and content. The villain, leaning on the wall opposing them, them, too, exhausted, overexerted, but eyeing them curiously, unusual creature they were.

"Oh, fuck," wheezed the hero, leaning on their weapon. "God, those minions were terrible. Uhm. Is this it?"

"For us." The villain leaned up from the wall, paying no mind to their exhaustion. They were like that. A little robotic, forgetting they had a human body sometimes. The hero assumed they were going to work more. Poor thing. The hero eyed the corpses on the ground.

"And for you?"

"I'm not done," they said. "Not with you, at least." And after saying that, they knocked the hero out with the butt of their gun. Splendid. Perfect.

The hero woke up mad that they felt well-rested and ready to curse the villain out with all their fury. Unfortunately, they couldn't do that, because the villain slept soundly beside them on the bed their wrists were cuffed to--and it was already a very obvious courtesy that the villain cuffed them to something as comfortable as a bed--and the hero knew how horrible the villain was at taking care of themselves. They wouldn't be so cruel as to wake them up.

But still. The hero cursed the villain out in their mind. In fact, as they soundlessly tugged on the handcuffs and looked around for anything to pick them with, they busied their very hyperactive mind to come up with insults and lectures they'd spill onto the villain the second that they woke up. You two-faced buffoon. You... you... disappointment? Damn it. You shitfaced brick wall. That was a little funny.

The hero twisted their wrist a little wrong and made the chains of the cuffs clink together too loudly. The villain jolted awake at once and stared at them a little like a deer in headlights on the offensive, ready to jump onto the hood of the car. Then they quickly caught themselves and their usual annoying sangfroid slipped back into them.

"Oh. It's just you."

"Just me?" The hero's hackles rose as they watched the villain get up from the bed and slowly strip. What, like this was a one-night stand? "You brat! You could've given me a concussion!"

The villain looked back at them, bemused, as they unbuttoned the top of their uniform. "No, I know where to hit to give you a concussion and where to hit to not give you a concussion. It was uploaded in my memory before I was changed to this body."

"Brat!"

The villain's brows furrowed for just a moment as they thought of an insult back. "Loser."

"Cunt!"

The villain looked off into the distance, deep in thought, before they nodded their head in approval. "Whore."

The hero gasped. They watched the villain make their way to some wardrobe to the side of the room and fish out a button-up, shucking it over their shoulders like a jacket. "Wait. Is this a warehouse? You can't experiment on me--"

"It's not a warehouse. And your consent wouldn't matter," they added as an afterthought. "It's supervillain's compound." The hero gasped again, then went to pull the damn handcuffs off of their wrists with fervour. "Calm down. You won't be, like, Christmas Turkey, or whatever."

The fact that the villain was using filler words such as whatever and or, like was a serious smack in the face. But the hero had bigger problems. "Then?"

The villain finished buttoning up their shirt and rolled their shoulders now that they were in more comfortable fabrics. The hero heard a bone pop and the villain stared at their own shoulder in alarm, still not used to their human body, before they quickly muttered an oh and moved on. They hummed in thought, which was very odd and concerning because they rarely ever paused to think because their brain was so fast. They tapped the side of the wardrobe doors and looked back at the hero. "You're boss's favourite hero."

"So I'm a Christmas present?!"

"No." The villain frowned. The hero had to admit, the frown was a little adorable on their usually serious face. "You're a...hm, I suppose you can be called a guest."

"A guest to an all-villain party. Only hero. How amazing."

"Not all-villain." The villain raised up a finger. "That fireball-blasting vigilante's going to be there."

"Oh. Okay. That one's head over heels for me." The villain blinked in the hero's peripherals. "All right. So what's the party about?"

"Christmas."

"I know, stupid, but why are you guys hosting it?"

For a beat the villain stayed silent. Then they stared at the ground and then the bed sheets and anywhere else but at the hero's face. They walked to the bed and sat down and the hero saw that the tips of their ears were pink. That put the hero off to a very great degree, but it wasn't bad. The hero often thought that it was endearing whenever they found a new idiosyncrasy in the villain because of their human body.

"Well, supervillain made me," the villain said. "They gave me terabytes of information to preserve and keep and then they risked losing all of it just to save me with a human body. I have to give them something back somehow. This is the only good place I know to start from. They barely ever stop working."

...oh. The hero suddenly felt the very urgent compulsion to hold the villain's human face in their hands. Would the flush in their ears travel down to their cheeks if they did that? The hero quickly exhaled. Don't think. Do not think.

"Anyway." The villain quickly picked themselves up and got up from the bed for the second time that day. "Their henchman is also very eager to give back their generosity somehow. I'm kind of competing against them for best employee. And you're supervillain's favourite toy."

"That's so dehumanizing. So dehumanizing. You of all people should understand that."

The villain cocked their head to the side. The hero didn't think that the villain knew how endearing the confused tic was.

The hero shook their cuffs. "Well, get me out of these. We've got a party to fix, right?"

The villain eagerly nodded their head. "The best Christmas party ever."

#i have not writtten hxv in a hot min #mmm joints r rusty i must say #hero x villain #villain x hero #henchman and villain #henchmen and villains #heroes and villains #villains #christmas party #kyles.writing

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