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apollokids · 11 months

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Thoughts about tsats, trauma, and the cocoa puffs

Nico’s personality in tsats feels most reminiscent of what he was like in The Titans Curse which (imo) is a sign that he is slowly healing and living with his trauma.

The Sun and the Star emphasizes that trauma and PTSD can make it feel like one’s past life events happened to a completely different person, and it mentions that Nico relates to this feeling. This distancing of oneself from past memories, experiences, and personality can result in feeling disconnected for a while, taking on new personality traits, feeling like a chameleon mimicking others, or just feeling empty.

For some people (maybe, depending on when trauma occurs), healing can be about reconnecting with our childhood selves. Depending on what someone was like before trauma, like maybe Nico for example, that can mean becoming more emotional, being more playful, indulging in your childhood interests (eg. mythomagic cards). And Nico’s progression practically mirrored mine exactly through the years, and the ways I changed in ED treatment.

It's hard to let go of a disorder when in some cases it feels like the only thing that’s stayed stable in our lives. Suffering is touted as the pinnacle of art-- we see its romanticization everywhere. It sounds weird to say that I miss being sick, or I miss my suffering, when I'm actively trying to make my life better, but those thoughts do come up. And when it comes to characters I project that misery on to? Well, if I’m suffering, then they have to suffer with me! (After all, they’re just characters, it’s not that deep, right?) Except I found that the more I made my characters suffer, and focused on the ‘beauty’ of suffering, the harder it was for me to heal from my own. Whenever my health was in decline, I characterized my favorite characters the same way. It was just as hard to allow those characters to heal as it was to allow myself to heal. (Other people might not feel the same, though.)

I think Nico choosing to accept the physical manifestations of his demons (while also setting them free, and allowing them to exist as they please) mirrors the suggestion I was given in treatment when I struggled with the idea of ‘giving up’ my eating disorder– because to me, it was always either defeat the disorder or be consumed by it, and defeating it sounded like killing a part of me or erasing a part of my past or my home. Approaching treatment from the standpoint of killing my eating disorder scared me too much. I knew my disorder had caused problems for me, but many of the habits and behaviors I’d developed had served as my coping mechanism and they helped me survive.

So, my therapist told me: “You don’t have to shun your disorder, kill it, or say goodbye. Instead, you can acknowledge that it served a purpose during a point in your life in which you used it to survive, but you no longer need to hold on to it and that’s okay — you’re setting it free. Maybe even instead of saying goodbye, you can say ‘thank you, I’m alright now.’”

And that’s pretty much… exactly what Nico did with the demons. Bob, too, acknowledged that he was a titan, and that was part of his past, and that’s okay — but he’s allowed to change. And Nico is too.

I just found that really really wonderful because I related to it so heavily. He didn’t want to conquer his trauma in battle. He wanted it to just… be acknowledged, and set free. And it followed him, but he can have a better relationship with his past now. He’s not consumed by it. It’s just there, it’s a part of him, and he can continue to live his life. And I think reading this book (while trying to maintain and navigate post-treatment life) was exactly what I needed to remind myself why I’m doing this.

#sentences bolded purely because it helps my eyes follow things better hope it helps others + is not obnoxious i dont usually make posts #tsats #tsats spoilers #the sun and the star #solangelo #nico di angelo #pjo #ed recovery #and yeah. with the writing at times i was like ahhh im too in-college for this book arent i #but at the same time it made me remember what it felt like to read these books when i was a kid #and im reading about this character ive loved since i was in 2nd or 3rd grade and it feels like ive grown up with him #and it feels like we went through our trauma together. i read house of hades the year my dad died. and now its like we're getting through it #idkgkdhjhf #that being said: i kind of wish the cocoa puffs came about in a different way!!#it kind of felt like SA and that wasn’t addressed

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writer-room · 1 year

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I like to think that the Cocoa Puffs become the local cryptids in camp. Everyones making ghost-busting gangs trying to figure out the little guys for the first few months but then after that its just their friendly neighborhood ball of trauma. They scatter like dandelions across the camp grounds and it becomes commonplace to find one chilling under a bed or hiding in a boat or stuck in a tree. Sometimes they’ll steal food just for fun. They’re untameable.

There are exactly 2 ways to make a Puff go somewhere and thats by either a) having a really bad time with an emotion such as grief, anger, loneliness, etc and becoming enough of a catnip to the Puff embodying that emotion that they’ll follow you around like a storm cloud, OR, the more popular option, b) getting Will Solace himself to wolf whistle, which immediately prompts every single Puff in existence to scramble out of the woodwork like cockroaches and zoom towards him at top speeds. Nico doesn’t know if he should find it cute or be offended.

#tsats #the sun and the star #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo #pjo #percy jackson #cocoa puffs #cacodemons #camp half blood #headcanons #ideas #pjo headcanons #text post #the puffs are very much nicos trauma but i think it'd be interesting if they could recognize similar feelings in other campers #and thus would follow them around if they were ever having those emotions. specifically the ones who are more open abt their trauma #there was a theme in the book about nico helping others by just being himself! his puffs can kinda help by being like #tiny emotional support traumas. like yeah maybe they dont make the person feel much better but its easier to get through it #when they have a little emotional support blob. or maybe the puffs just accidentally make it all worse and sort of feed off those emotions #but thats alright because then their friends can tell when somethings wrong and the puffs arent offended when theyre shooed off #once the person is comforted and calms down the puffs eventually just kinda wander off sensing there is no food anymore. their job is done #theyre physical forms of grief and theyre nicos but fck it its fantasy i can mess with them how i want and it think its cute n interesting #mostly i just love the idea of the puffs getting so attached to will he can just Summon Them like hunting dogs #YES will has sonic awful whistling but i think it would be funny if there was 1 whistle that made all the puffs get the zoomies towards him #i think itd be even funnier if this was found out purely on accident. will wasnt even like whistling under his breath he was just like #being a cringe boyfriend & jokingly wolf-whistled at nico. to which the puffs all BOLTED at him before nico could kill him #call that a new line of defense

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sugaroto · 10 months

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Dorian: hey thanks for earlier-

Damien:...

Damien: I KNOW YOU ARE DATING THE QUEEN USE CONDOMS

#dorian:🤯#NO BC THIS IS HOW THAT CONVERSATION BASICALLY WENT😭#dorian is like hey thanks for helping save dani and the world maybe we can fix our sibling relationship from now on ~heh #and damien's first instinct as a big brother is to tell him I KNOW ABOUT YOU AND MONICA USE PROTECTION #MEANWHILE KEEP IN MIND THAT DORIAN WAS IN A COMMA FOR 3 YEARS SO HES KINDA STILL MENTALLY 13 #so hes like protection against what?#and Damien has to make sure if he knows how kids are made which ofc he does he has read every book that exists #also yeah his second instinct was to come out and tell him hes in love with the king #damn the whole family has a thing for the royals huh #expect dani she fell for the orphan boy who scams people for a living #good for her #dorian wytte #damien wytte #hooky #hooky webtoon

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poisoned-pearls · 4 months

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❗❗❗❗❗❗

BOTHERING YOU!!! I AM INTERESTED!!!

AUGHH OKAY OKAY SO-

It’s INCREDIBLY similar to canon, that’s like, half of the point. Jamil and Azul have been in the same class for their whole school a career and I firmly believe Azul has HAD a crush on him since their first year even in canon (ex. “I’ve always been curious about you since we were first years.”)

so in this au it happened completely on accident. Since they were only around 3 weeks- a month into school, Jamil didn’t have kalim to worry about yet (who arrived a month later) and azul didn’t have such a large reputation (so Jamil was a little less cautious). Potion project, truth serum. Should be easy right? That was until azul accidentally lost balance and tried to catch himself on the cauldron, sending it all over him and into his mouth.

so when Jamil leans over to ask if he’s okay, because a giant metal thing just tipped over him, the first thing out of his mouth is “great seven you’re gorgeous.”

when Jamil is promptly like “what” Azul literally can not control his tongue and is like “please go on a date with me-“ and Jamil just stares at him for a moment before going “…sure” because, well, hell. He’s free from kalim for the first time in his life, he thinks he’s pretty too, it’s worth a shot and he’s under a truth potion, so at least he knows he finds him attractive. So sure, couldn’t hurt to try.

And it did, in fact, not hurt to try, they snuck their way up the astronomy tower and had a nice dinner that azul made. And they were both, very very happy.

another date later (this time by Jamil, where they played mancala in one of the scarabian common places) and they were official.

And a month later, (a week or so after kalim transferred) Jamil joined basketball and Azul became his number one fan, where a year later Ace learns about his existence from

Azul keeps Jamil from becoming more stressed about kalim, and Jamil uses his study guides to not go insane. Jamil also becomes a third enforcer for the monstro lounge, and knows EXACTLY how everything works, because hell he was there right next to Azul and helping him figure it all out when it was happening. He’ll catch someone trying to run from Azul and his contracts and toss them right back into the shark pit.

theyre also horrible. Like the most couple to ever couple. Jamil waits outside every housewarden meeting to walk with Azul, they always either bring breakfast or coffee for each other (they’ll switch it up on who brings it each day). Hell even Ace originally knew Azul as “Jamil’s boyfriend from octavinelle” during games.

#Also I think that Azul wouldn’t overblot (because Jamil would seriously help with his self esteem and because JAMIL SHOULD PUNCH LEONA-)#Listen I’m not a Leona hater #But I didn’t like him during book 3-#Listen I’m sorry I just can’t sympathize that strongly with a guy who is still rich as hell and royalty #You don’t have to work #I don’t feel that bad for you not being king #Jamil probably would still overblot but I have angst for that #Angst you’d probably like actually #You know when you were thinking about Jamil feeling bad after his overblot??#Imagine how he’d feel knowing he chucked his boyfriend halfway across the desert #But yeah #the sillies #id also think it’d be FUCKING HILARIOUS for canon Jamil to meet this jamil #“Oh shit the magic is all messed up- give me a second I need to call my bf to make sure he’s okay”#“Your what”#“My… boyfriend? What you don’t have one?”#“NO????”#“Life must suck for you then.”#“What? You think I need someone to be happy?”#“Well are you?”#“…”#(He feels bad because he doesn’t get Azul and weighted blanket cuddles when he’s sad)#(He feels bad thinking about all of the bad mental episodes Azul’s helped him through)#After Jamil figures out the other version of him is dating Azul he’s like “Him?? That schemer-??”#He insults him so much other Jamil is like “listen I don’t care if your me I can only take so many insults to my boyfriend before I just #Fight you.”#Jamil vs jamil #jamil viper #Azul Ashengrotto #jamiazu

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hezuart · 9 months

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Security Breach Ruin tried to make the books canon

You know what that means :)))

KEEP YOUR SPRINGTRAP MPREG AWAY FROM ME 🔪🔪🔪

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #fnaf #fnaf security breach #i mean the other fnaf games were also trying to make some book material canon #BUT YEAH THAT...DOESNT HELP THE SITUATION #the guy's name is Matt- Scott is pro life-#i cant with any of this

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szappan · 11 days

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university.. university leave me alone

#heres the situation: for my cognitive literary studies class (quite fun) we had to pick primary material and a cognitive angle to analyse it #from. and the deadline was coming up and i who have been thinking very intensely about robots for the last half a year picked #yeah you guessed it. fucking PIERS PLOWMAN. which is not fun for me but i panicked about the deadline #so now i have to do something about piers plowman and its cognitive literary properties #and im in hell this is hell i have been extremely stressed about piers plowman for a month. to the point where ive been in physical pain #AND I CANNOT. THINK OF ANYTHING. ABOUT PIERS PLOWMAN.#and the teacher for that class is so nice and chill and she was like you can pick anything at all. and i went with piers plowman #like it's interesting but from what COGNITIVE angle can i approach piers plowman.#ive been thinking about saying exactly this that piers plowman is more for historical linguists and theologists than narratologists but im #also positive plenty of scholars read piers plowman for the plot #so then i thought about the characters and whether you can Connect with them and whether they help you Immerse yourself in the story and #other terminology i learned in cognitive literary studies class.#theyre allegorical and very 1 dimensional and there could be something about whether we from 2024 understand them in the same way #people from the 14th century did. like this was what i put in my proposal when i made it #but now i actually have to make the slides and use cognitive literary papers for this and it's just not going at all. i cant do it.#i cant do anything i cant enjoy the daylight and the warmer weather i cant think about anything other than im not making progress on this #and it's bad for me!! it's bad for my health i feel bad. why did i go with piers plowman why did i not pick watership down #my post #i have plenty to say about watership downm cognitively.#also about old possums book of practical cats #maybe i could email her and tell her id like to change it.. no #ive also been reading the tombs of atuan which is incredible

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jenn0wow · 3 months

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Actually Barbara Gordon being a librarian and then eventually Oracle makes so much more sense if she was a reference services librarian lmaooo

#yeah I wrote this while in my reference and information services class DUH #but really it would make so much sense #STOP HAVING HER STOCK BOOKS AND HAVE HER SIT AT A LITTLE DESK AND HELP PEOPLE FIND STUFF #Barbara Gordon #batgirl #Oracle #Batfam #batfamily #dc comics

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 1 year

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idk if this is still the case but when i was really In It in animorphs feelings a couple years ago because i was unemployed for the first time in my adult life / temporarily living alone in the last house my family lived in / freaking out about climate change / generally Going Through It, and like poking around the animorphs scene on tumblr, there was this notion commonly expressed that rachel and tobias were "toxic," the major piece of evidence for which was the scene in 33 where she "tries to trap him in human morph." which like first of all i'm SOOOOOO SORRRY that the fucking fifteen-year-olds secretly fighting a guerrilla war in which their greatest threat is the mind-controlling slugs they're trying to save humanity from but their second greatest threat is the diminishing hourglass of their collective sanity as they all have to work steadily harder and more desperately to not just completely lose their shit entirely from all the violence and literal 24/7 constant threat and murder that is happening, like i'm sorry two literal children who have managed in this ongoing horror show to forge a bond of loyalty and affection and care and attraction and understanding that can act as a kind of solace neither of them have any other way to access, sorry those actual murder babies sometimes have some communication problems. lmao. but also it's insane to me that people read that scene (in which they're dancing to, i'm not making this up, iris by the goo goo dolls - i mean they don't tell us the song but it's a slow goo goo dolls number that even tobias knows, so - they're dancing to iris by the goo goo dolls at a school dance that is not going well because they are both awkward about the newfound public Officialness of their relationship and rachel who is the only one of them who has ever been capable of socializing like a normal person is in a particularly bad mood because of the emotional hangover of her starfish adventure [great concept executed terribly in the previous book], and then like after two entire minutes of letting himself feel some nice emotions tobias spots the clock and starts leaving to go demorph and then rachel runs after to him to awkwardly attempt to share that she is very fucked up about how insane she has become and she wants to hold on to things like school dances and also this is all happening in a hallway by a student poster on red tailed hawks that states their lifespan of a handful of years in the wild, it's so good) as rachel trying to trap tobias in morph, when like, first of all, "good thing happening -> time to punish myself for feeling nice for 5 whole seconds " is like THEE tobias thought pattern because he's the number one kidlit trauma baby of all time, like truly the first time i dove back into the series i was struck by how well his narrative voice captures Child Of Insane Family Dysfunctionality, he is NOT a reliable narrator on this, but also second, and more saliently, like, believing this scene is rachel attempting to trap tobias in morph requires that you believe rachel, all by herself, made a plan in advance and then attempted to execute it, which is a skill we literally never see her demonstrate even one fucking time outside of the comfortingly familiar hunting ground of the mall

#animorphs #i have a hard visceral aversion to personally adopting ADHD headcanons in general #(you do you idc about people's headcanons but like #this is one that reliably does not do it for me [person with ADHD] and which also often makes me feel weird for vague reasons #but again like this is not an Argument or a Criticism have your fun it's simply not for me)#BUT. someone once said they headcanon rachel as ADHD.#and that is... the ONLY time i have ever read that and been like 'oh wow no okay yeah that tracks'#which honestly thinking on it now i feel like sort of helps me articulate why i'm usually like 'her?'#bc i feel like i tend to see it as like 'this would be cute/relatable/fun to project on to' (you do you not for me)#or i see it based on like... a perception of general ADHD Vibes #which like. on the one hand i get. there can be Vibes. there's a reason the set of people i Enjoy A Lot has ADHD overrepresented on it.#but personally i am like. but where are the scenes of them ruining their own life for reasons attributable to ADHD traits #i don't personally get anything out of lumping people into a DSM category with me if they are not also constantly ruining their own lives #like i can just relate to them because we have similar Vibes. that's plenty.#but rachel.................#the scenes of rachel constantly ruining her own life because of her inability to think for 5 seconds before speaking or acting ever. like.#that's in every book rachel ever has #she literally has a line at one point like 'i don't know why i say these things. they just pop out of my stupid mouth.' girl same...#anyway. speaking of ADHD. i have GOT to stop letting myself 'just check tumblr a little bit' while i'm waiting for the adderall to hit

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violetsorrengailpdf · 23 days

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really do Not see where the people who say this book is bad eds representation are coming from. also like...the author has eds????? so????? shut up maybe if you don't have it???????

#why do people think this is bad representation?????#like they're constantly talking about how her worth isn't defined by the things she can do #and that just bc she needs extra help bc she's disabled doesn't make her less than her peers #not to mention the whole bit where the author frequently brings up how eugenics is bullshit #and there are different kinds of strengths not just physical #how is any of that bad???? do you know how RARE that is with disabled characters??? ESPECIALLY in fantasy novels????????#like yeah ofc the author is taking creative liberties #but uhhh 1) this is a fucking fantasy book so i want to know what you expect #and 2) the author has eds!!!!!!!! i would understand why that would bother people if the author herself didn't have the disease but!!!#she literally does!!!!!!#emilio.txt #fourth wing lb

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jessicas-pi · 19 days

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The Shuttle AU where Nigel Anstruthers is even more devious and DOESN'T separate Rosalie from her family, and he pretends to be nice and good and even invites Bettina to spend her school holidays at Stornham Court one year.

(That last one was not his best idea, tbh.)

Through chance, circumstance, or maybe the weaving hand of Fate, Bettina Vanderpoel and James Hubert John Fergus Saltyre meet, speak, and quickly discover their mutual distaste for Sir Nigel Anstruthers...

Anyway I call this one Jem and Bett Ruin Nigel's Life (Ten Years Ahead of Schedule)

#the shuttle #jessica's random thoughts #it's in my head as kind of this reluctant-allies dynamic #Betty thinks he's is a snob #he thinks she's a spoiled brat #but they both think Nigel needs to be taken down a peg or two #and so they team up to get in touch with her father without Nigel reading Betty's letters #and maybe Betty snoops around to find records of where the money Nigel is getting from the Vanderpoels is ACTUALLY going #or something #anyway the point is that Nigel gets taken down by a couple of kids #BUT they never actually get along with each other #and then rosy goes back to the vanderpoels in new york so there's no reason for Betty to be in england #so they don't see each other again #and then years later Nigel dies of being a jerk or something #and Betty goes with Rosy and Ughtred back to Stornham to help fix it up and make things better #and meets saltyre (now mount dunstan) and they still have the same falling-in-love-but-not-admitting-it thing as in the book #but there's also the comedic backstory of being reluctant allies against her evil brother in law #you've heard of childhood friends to lovers now get ready for childhood enemies to lovers #and when they meet on the boat during the accident Betty thinks he's vaguely familiar #and then when she sees him in the park she realizes OH HEY IT'S JEM!#and he's like *awkward pause* '....hi?'#and then everyone in the neighborhood is like ''Oh that's mount Dunstan. he's a bad lot.''#and Betty is like ''lol no?? like yeah he's grumpy a lot but we worked against the forces of evil together as children #so I can guarantee that he's very much not a jerk like the rest of his family was.''#and everyone's like ''okaaaay then?''#idk I just think it would be funny

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distant-velleity · 25 days

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(un)sweet dreams

Summary: Once Malleus Overblots, Yu doesn't exactly dream. Silver does. Word count: 3.5k+ Warnings: my unbeta'd writing A/N: So!!! Yesterday I played through Book 7 Part 3 since that dropped on TWST EN, and it inspired me~ In regards to Yu's story, I haven't actually considered Book 7 a whole lot, so I felt like writing this would be fun and solidify his plotline some more at least before his own Overblot. Haha. Um. This is meant to replace the MC-centric chapters of 7-40 through 7-51; where it ends is roughly where in-game 7-52 starts. Please enjoy my Silver and Yu acquaintance content bc I sure don't write enough of it (<- it has an entire relationship section on Yu's wiki) <3 Also, contains reference to this oneshot.

In the distance, thunder—the herald of dignity and danger—rumbled. Of an unimaginably deep weight, it rolled through the clouds and over the seas.

…

In the drearily elegant throne room, static zipped through the air, the buildup to a temper at the end of its wick.

“It’s incredible! 16 years, and not a trace of her! Are you sure you searched everywhere?”

“Uhhh, we searched mountains, forests, houses… and all the cradles.”

“FOOLS! Search for a maid of 16. Go… and do not fail me.”

…

In the depths of the forest, pretty voices rose, unaware of the unwanted guest listening in.

“You’re already betrothed! To Prince Philip, dear!”

“But that’s impossible. How could I marry a prince? I’d have to be…”

“...A princess.”

“And you are, dear!”

…

In the winding tower, a spindle glistened in the light.

“Touch the spindle. Touch it, I say.”

As delicate as a petal, a hand was drawn to the spindle.

“You poor, simple fools, thinking you could defeat me! ME! The mistress of all evil!”

…

To call it ‘waking up’ would be a lovely description, but an ultimately unearned one. To Yu, it feels more like dragging his consciousness out of a haze after fainting; his thoughts are blurred around the edges and his memories blurrier still.

He blinks once, twice, and slowly raises himself to sit up. Beneath his hands, placed to support the dead weight of his body, the ground ripples outwards in the image of water.

Yu stares at it.

He feels no dampness through his clothes, no chill, so the reasonable assumption is that the ground isn’t any sort of liquid; and yet it behaves like one. There’s certainly a surface beneath him, but how real is it? As far as he can see, the world is purely black, with no horizon line in sight.

Strange.

…Strange, but not unfamiliar. After all, Yu has been here a number of times before.

(More vividly than any other memory, he recalls Riddle crushed by a flurry of books; Leona discarded from an unending chessboard. Azul left beached without the safety of his pot; Jamil weighed into submission with chains. Vil smothered with distorted veils; Idia dragged deeper and deeper into the darkness.

All these incidents which should have caused splashes, yet—each time—caused the ground to do little more than ripple.)

Only, this time, there’s no one but Yu here. He’s all alone in the expansive darkness for some unknown reason.

Why?

As he racks his brain for the answer, a screen pops up before him. And then another, and then another after that…

[ CURRENT DEBUFF — Fae Maleficence: USER’s physical body is deeply asleep and frozen in time. ]

[ MAIN MISSION — “Perpetuation by Briar Thorns” Continued. ]

[ NEW OBJECTIVE: Figure out your situation. ]

[ Setting tracker to target object… ]

[ USER is 500m away from exit. ]

Yu sits there, allowing the messages to sink in. For a moment, he’d forgotten that this would always be the work of the System.

He shakes his head to rid himself of any lingering grogginess and carefully brings himself to his feet. In the distance, as promised, is the only other source of light aside from his locket—a glowing white rectangle vaguely resembling a door, waiting upright as it does every time he is sent to this strange mindscape.

Slowly, limbs fatigued, Yu walks over to the exit as the ground ripples beneath his feet. Floating beside him, the tracker’s number of meters steadily decreases.

It feels like an eternity before he finally reaches the light.

[ USER is 0m away from exit. ]

What lies beyond the door is totally uncertain; Yu would like to hold onto the hope that he'll simply wake up as per usual, but something tells him that won’t be the case. Still, there’s nowhere else for him to go. Not unless he enjoys the loneliness of a solitary forever—and even if so, he has the nagging feeling that people need him.

Inhale, exhale.

There really is no getting around it. Yu steps out of the darkness and into the light of the exit.

…

Weightlessness strikes him before his senses are muted.

[ Entering new dream. ]

“A new dream?”

Like an epiphany, just as he’s being transported from one mindscape to another, Yu remembers the disaster that occurred before his bout of unconsciousness. The lounge had been filled with fire, then embraced with thorns, and most importantly—

[ USER has entered Spectating Mode. ]

“—Yue’er—!”

Yu blinks and stops mid-shout, regaining his senses in the middle of a fairytale-like landscape.

Frozen in an eternal sunrise, the sleepy forest of his surroundings is painted in a warm pink wash. Even the towering trees and steep, rising cliffs appear rosy under the light. A little ways from the stone path beneath Yu’s feet is a babbling creek, crystal-clear and so brilliantly lavender under the dawn sky that it glimmers.

However, it too is halted in its tracks by the absence of time—so, rather than follow its futile downstream flow, Yu’s gaze traces the creek’s edge until he finally looks at the quaint cottage before him.

It’s odd; just looking at it makes him feel at home. The thatched roof, the brick base and chimney, the curved shuttered windows, the waterwheel—perhaps it’s because the sight seems right out of a storybook that it feels so comforting.

Yu takes a step forward. So does someone else, right through him.

Barely able to stifle his scream in time, Yu stumbles backwards, watching as none other than Silver proceeds on the stone path. Unaware of the wide eyes trained on his back, he continues on ahead with a relaxed posture. At this moment, something he said during an interview comes to mind—

…‘I lived deep in a Briar Valley forest before coming to this school’...

“Is this what he meant?” wonders Yu aloud, hesitantly following Silver to the cottage. When it becomes apparent that he truly cannot be perceived, he breaks into a jog to outpace the sophomore’s naturally longer strides. “It’s… definitely not what I imagined…”

Although Silver’s resting stern look is unparalleled, there’s something blissful about it that Yu just can’t quite place. The look of someone returning home, ready to rest and bask in familiar comfort after a long day.

“But…” Yu hesitates as he realizes something, the two of them approaching the door. “This is just a dream, isn’t it? What are you expecting to see when you enter that house?”

Obviously, he receives no answer. It doesn’t stop him from holding his breath as Silver opens the door.

Consequently, Yu realizes a second earlier that there is nothing but a despairingly hollow void on the inside of the cottage.

“Silver, wait!” he shouts to no avail.

Silver naturally steps inside, only for his foot to find no purchase and no floor. His eyes widen helplessly as he stumbles forward, plummeting into the darkness. Yu scrambles to stand on the edge of the doorstep while clinging to either side of the door frame with both hands.

When he looks down into the void after Silver, he sees just a flash of that iridescent hair of his before it’s gone.

“Dammit—!”

[ Ending Spectating Mode. Termination in 3… 2… 1… ]

“—what?”

Suddenly, Yu’s grip slackens against his will, and everything starts disappearing around him. As the step beneath his feet and the frame underneath his hands fade from existence, he finds himself weightless again but intimately aware that he’s falling this time.

His descent is a terrifyingly long one. Various scenes and flashes of light zip by, until he passes two halves of a stone wall that shut like gates and meld together above him. The light disappears. Gravity chooses then to reorient itself entirely—meaning Yu is suspended in air for a moment before crashing down face-first onto the cold, hard stone of what is now the ground. The force knocks the air right out of his lungs, sending him into a fit of violent hacking and coughing as he tries to regain it.

“What just—” He gasps, balling his hands into weak fists. Although he’s still on the floor, he shakily props his upper body up on his elbows. “What just—happened—”

“Yu? You’re in this dream, too?”

Under the dim lighting, Yu looks up to see Silver on the floor nearby, appearing equally disoriented but at least more conscious than he was before. Strangely, a glowing specter of what seems to be a bird flutters around him for a moment, but it’s gone as soon as it appears.

“Oh, Silver!” Yu exclaims, relieved. He hurries to sit up properly. “You remember what’s going on now, right?”

Silver visibly hesitates, considering something, and then nods slowly. “Yes. Not only that, but I also remembered—a few months ago I had a foreboding dream with Lord Malleus in it, almost identical to this one.” He swivels his head to look around the room they’re in. “...it seems that we’ve fallen into a different room this time.”

Yu takes the time to also observe their surroundings. Dark stone walls, eaten away by age; hardly lit by a few sparse torches, flickering with an ominously familiar green fire.

Had Silver experienced that same thing in his initial dream? Stepping into the cottage only to be betrayed and sent into the abyss? If so, then…

“It must be the same castle,” Silver murmurs to himself without any prompting. “In that case, perhaps I can still find…”

He trails off, brows furrowing, and meets Yu’s eyes.

“What is it?” asks Yu.

“I’m sorry to ask this of you,” says Silver with earnest remorse, “but would you mind accompanying me in exploring this castle? There is something from last time that I feel I need to find, and it may assist in understanding our current situation.”

“Well…” Regardless of any possible misgivings about this situation, Yu mostly trusts Silver. Mostly. But, better to be around a knight with a comforting presence than anyone else in a dreary place like this. “...okay. Why not?”

“There are some risks. I don’t know what to expect once we exit…” Silver trails off, realizing it was just a figure of speech, and stands up. His movements quickly lose their dizzy sluggishness. Once he’s on his feet, he offers a hand to help Yu up, which is gratefully taken.

“Let’s go, then.”

…

The interior of the castle is ancient and almost abandoned, its walls a powerfully deep slate grey. There are only a few torches here and there to light the way, forming small spheres of cold light amidst the shadows. The arched ceilings are high up, causing the sound of their footsteps to echo back at them. Even the air is stiff and chilly, masking any signs of life.

“Just like Diasomnia,” Silver whispers.

The comparison is eerily accurate. Yu thinks about the lounge, where their physical bodies should still be, and a shiver runs down his spine.

“It… feels like we’re getting involved in something we shouldn’t,” he murmurs. “Do you feel that?”

“…yes,” admits Silver, a hand resting on his baton for reassurance. His eyes narrow slightly. “But at the same time, that’s a sign that we’re on the right path… I hope.”

He continues down the dim hallway with cautious confidence, leaving Yu quietly in awe of his ability to push forward despite his doubts.

It takes what feels like several minutes of walking before the bird specter from earlier flits by, catching non-existent wind beneath its wings and zipping ahead of them.

Silver’s eyes light up, stopping mid-walk. “That was—!”

“Wait, you saw it, too?”

“Yes. It normally marks the owner of a dream.” Before Yu can ask how he knows that, Silver continues. “Since this is my dream… I think it’s leading us to where we need to be. We should follow it.”

Again with that need to find and need to be—it only stirs skepticism in Yu, especially considering what happened the last time Silver simply followed the logic of the dream, but at the same time his hands are tied. “If that’s what you want, then. We don’t have a lot of time to deliberate.”

There’s only a curt dip of Silver’s chin in acknowledgement before he starts running after the bird, forcing Yu to sprint in order to keep up with him. It takes them down another long hallway before slipping into the entry arch of a winding staircase. Silver doesn’t even hesitate before racing up the stairs.

“Silver, hold on a—seriously?!”

Yu can do nothing but chase after them.

They seem to be ascending a tower, given the excessive length of the circular staircase that extends upwards for what may as well be an eternity. Yu wouldn’t find it difficult to believe if it were the tallest in the whole castle.

Finally, the bird gives one last weak flutter of its wings before dissipating. At that point, they’ve already reached the top, stopping right before the entrance to the room that crowns the tower.

The door shudders and creaks, swinging open on its weak hinges with barely any force; as if inviting them inside.

With Yu close behind, Silver enters, only to abruptly freeze in his tracks.

“This is it,” murmurs Silver breathlessly, sounding absolutely certain.

His gaze is trained on the sight right before him: the room empty aside from a sole spinning wheel, placed in front of floor-to-ceiling frosted windows. Its spindle is so sharp that, even with the limited illumination from the torches, it gleams in the light. Uncovered as it is, the intrusive temptation to touch it is strong even to Yu.

Outside, lightning flashes and thunder roars, momentarily turning the spinning wheel into a menacing light-lined silhouette. The rain only intensifies after, drumming against the window in violent torrents.

Silver suddenly takes off one of his gloves and steps towards the spinning wheel.

“Uh… Silver?”

Yu finds it difficult to hide his concern, and even more so when there comes no indication that he was heard at all. Silver continues to walk at a slow but resolute pace and reaches for the spindle with his ungloved hand. It’s perhaps the exact opposite of what he should reasonably be doing.

( ‘Touch the spindle.’ )

Oh. Yu’s eyes widen.

“Silver—Silver!” Yu raises his voice a notch, going so far as to grab Silver by the arm; only to be easily shrugged off. It’s surprisingly rude coming from the normally-composed boy, but it doesn’t seem intentional. “What are you doing?”

He receives no response—Silver continues on as if in a trance, eyes wide in an uncharacteristically morbid fascination. It’s not unlike watching a trainwreck in slow motion, the way his pale finger draws closer and closer to the spindle while Yu is helpless to stop him again.

Closer, and closer…

( ‘Touch it, I say.’ )

“Silver, don’t touch that—”

The spindle breaks skin.

Instead of blood, something dark and inky comes out of Silver’s finger. It is scarily reminiscent of blot. Silver stares at it as if he has no recollection of what he just did to himself.

“SILVER!”

Yu operates purely on instinct, clamping his hands around Silver’s to stop the ‘bleeding.’ He examines the other boy’s expression, shifting from confused to dawning horror. “Are you okay? Do you feel weird?”

“N…no,” Silver forces out, furrowing his brows. His skin has gone pale, sweat beading on his face, although it could just be from the shock of snapping out of his stupor. “I don’t think so—”

Around them, the room shakes violently; he and Yu both stumble as a result. An inky darkness seeps in from the cracks in the walls, rapidly covering the floor and filling the air.

“I—Is that blot?” Yu wonders in a terrified sort of way, stepping back as it approaches. He shoots a quick glance at Silver—being in a dream together is bizarre enough, but being alone in a dream with a possible Overblotter…!

Thankfully, Silver doesn’t seem to be going mad. No blot drips from his forehead or anything of the sort, but his lips set into a thin, stressed line. “It isn’t. We still have to get out of here, though. Hold onto me, tightly!”

He offers his arm, and Yu doesn’t think twice before grabbing onto it as if his life depends on the strength of his grip. In a way, it does. Then rationality clears his mind for a moment; he blinks and opens his mouth to ask what purpose this serves.

Silver, eyes narrowed with concentration, is just a second faster to speak.

“Those I’ve met and will someday…”

Sparkles of magic coalesce around them, little flashes of birds and flowers, as Silver recites his incantation. Yu draws in a sharp breath, surprised—this must be his signature spell.

“… 「 Meet in a Dream. 」”

The world fades as they warp away.

…

Yu hadn’t realized he was squeezing his eyes shut on instinct, but he opens them once he feels ‘wind’ ruffling his hair. He immediately regrets it.

The scenery around them is gorgeous, no doubt—a warm sky packed flush with cotton candy clouds, kite-like birds cutting a path through the air. It is, however, impossible to appreciate when one is plummeting directly towards the ground and there is less ‘wind’ as it is just your body obeying the laws of physics.

“Why are we so high up?!” Yu screams. For maybe the third time now, his deathly fear of heights is being weaponized against him.

Silver’s jaw is clenched tightly, focused on the rapidly-approaching ground. “I’m losing control… Hold on tight!”

He then grabs and holds Yu close to him, reassuring but also incredibly tight to the point of squeezing.

“Crap!” Yu gasps, the air being forced out of his lungs. Silver is strong, just as sturdy as the Leeches, but Yu’s hands still try to find purchase on the Diasomnia uniform’s various belts and armor sections.

“Sorry, but please bear with me!” Silver insists. “If we’re separated here—well, let’s just say I don’t think I’ll be able to find you again…!”

Yu promptly shuts his mouth, even though he still holds extreme misgivings towards their decreasing altitude. It’s then that they break through the clouds, and their surroundings change in an instant.

Gone is the dreamy sky—they find themselves falling towards another bleak-looking castle, raised among rocky mountains and an endless pit filled with briar thorns. The sky and landscape alike are a somber greenish-grey. Diasomnia, Yu’s mind provides helpfully.

Regardless, the walkway leading up to the dorm grows less and less distant.

Silver uses one arm to pull Yu even closer to him, muscles straining with the effort, as he releases the other to grab his magical pen. He draws it from its holster and yells at the top of his lungs, “WINDS!”

They are showered in sparkles before the world becomes blurry, spinning as their bodies reorient to be straight up. Yu vaguely registers his feet gently touching the ground and the arm around him loosening, but he still opts to lean on the infinitely more solid Silver.

“Are you okay?”

“Ughhh…” Yu closes his eyes, hoping his dizziness will die down. “Sorry. I don’t think I can stand on my own.”

“Take your time. I admit that spell was a bit abrupt.” Silver exhales in relief. “At least we’re both unharmed.”

Yu frowns. He stands up straight as soon as he can, dusting off his clothes. “I know I am for sure. How’s your finger?”

At some point, Silver must have somehow gotten his glove replaced. He peels it off to reveal his index finger back to perfectly normal. There is no scarring, no dried blood, nothing—just unmarred skin.

Some of the tension leaves Yu’s shoulders. “Thank God.” He looks away as Silver puts his glove back on. “So… from one castle to another, huh? This is a scarily accurate recreation of Diasomnia.”

“Right… it’s just a dream,” Silver remarks. “If nothing else, it’s proof that we managed to shake off the darkness…” He closes his eyes. “Good. That’s good.”

“Darkness? You mean that black stuff coming after us?” asks Yu. Just thinking about it again fills him with a sense of dread.

Silver nods. “If it catches you, it drags you into an even deeper slumber—I’ve encountered it a few times before. I’m… not sure why it showed up as soon as I pricked my finger, though.”

He pauses and stares quite intently at his own hand, lost in thought.

“How did I let that happen again? I thought I’d learned my lesson after last time, but as soon as I heard Lord Malleus’ voice…”

“Silver,” Yu interrupts. “Um, I don’t really get what happened, but we need to figure out where to go from here…” He gestures vaguely at the pathway before them and the grand exterior of Diasomnia.

“Ah—! Right.” Silver lets his hand fall back to his side, looking towards the dream version of his dormitory. “Let’s assess the situation first. I believe the owner of this dream will be inside.”

“Lead the way, then.”

Before they head into the main building, Yu hesitates and turns to look back. Where the winding cobblestone bridge towards the exit mirror normally would be is an opaque, all-consuming fog. Amidst that fog are wisps of green; magical fireflies flitting back and forth, shining like emeralds.

So this was made possible by…

“Yu?” Silver calls, already a few meters away.

Shaking his head to rid himself of any irrelevant thoughts, Yu turns back around. “Coming, sorry!”

He hurries down the path, trying not to look back again.

#kai's writing #twst oc #yuusona #twst silver #twst book 7 spoilers #uhmm yeah. giggles #silver as aurora agenda always gets me thinking #and yu the poor 'fairy godfather' who is STRUGGLING to do anything in this situation 💀🙏#(evan hansen voice) did i even make a sound? it's like i never made a sound #lots of dialogue taken from in-game sorry but there are changes trust me #i cant help it that yu is literally meant to be reliving the game itself but with his own divergences #now will i stop writing at school? hmm probably not

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