#compulsory heterosexuality be damned

[akairokara]

is this a bad time to say that i have feelings for someone

#dude it sucks because it’s not even like. A peer #i would never in a million years do anything abt this or tell anyone irl but #then all i can do is sit here and wallow in the weird feelings and feel guilty and ashamed and bad #ITS JUST. she’s so cool. like i never see older queer ppl. n she knows so much abt so many cool things n she’s done so much amazing stuff #GOD #im just a kid and life is a nightmare #IM SO attracted to her lol i ajhsjdkdkdhdbdjdjdj lying prostrate on the ground weeping or whatever lmao #i just really wish we could be friends or maybe that i could idk sit and listen to her talk abt everything she knows god damn it #now this. This is what down bad looks like #god and all mixed in w the compulsory heterosexuality and the religious guilt and the fucking. FEELINGS⁉️ #my hormones said fuck u we r doing this #it wasn’t even this bad last sem w that dude. i literally psyched myself out of it #but we r not making it out of this one ☝️😤‼️ #fool speaks #AND LIKE. ok. she’s literally an authority figure so that makes this even more embarrassing ! Haha

[randomshyperson]

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Pure Heroine Series Part Three - Buzzcut Season

Summary: You and Wanda have been friends for years, but now, you're grown up. Nothing stays as it was. | Album Inspired series "Pure Heroine" by Lorde.

Warnings: Mutual Pining, friends to lovers, fluff, some typical trope angst, high school to college, making out, drinking, substance abuse, fighting, implied compulsory heterosexuality | Words: 1.024k

General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad | Pure Heroine Collection |

-&-

The road was silent. Not the comfortable kind like the hundreds of road trips before it, when you and Wanda were kids and fell asleep in the back seat after playing on the beach all day. No, it was the kind of tense silence, almost enough to make Wanda want to get out of the car and walk all the way across the state.

You sighed softly in the seat, and Wanda gripped the steering wheel, expecting an argument to break out. Instead, more silence came. She risked a quick glance in the rearview mirror and felt her shoulders relax as she realized that you had fallen asleep.

Nobody stays angry after a good nap, her mother used to say. 

So Wanda remained quiet, the whole way back to campus she spent rehashing everything that had gone wrong the previous morning, and her guilt about the whole thing didn't let up. It was she who gradually turned all the excitement of a weekend at the beach with her best friend into anger and frustration after a whole semester of not being able to breathe properly outside of assignments and exams. 

She was the one who started acting strange from the moment you mentioned the girl who asked for your number in calculus class, who left you alone with the drinks when the bar attendant flirted with you, and who disappeared for a long moment after girls in bikinis tried to get your Instagram back at the sand. 

Wanda couldn't explain her peaks of jealousy without exposing her true feelings, and Saturday ended like your patience without an explanation.

Now you were distant and hurt, and she was considering getting out of the car.

When you woke up, the university was already in sight. Wanda didn't blame you for staying quiet when you parked, or for not trying to start any conversation on the way to the dorm, backpacks slung over your shoulders.

Wanda needed a long shower, to relax her muscles and clean the sand properly. But you threw yourself on the bed when the backpack hit the floor, and the figure with a face sunk into the mattress made her close the door to the dormitory you two had shared for the last six months and counting.

"Can we talk?" Wanda risked and waited until the silence turned into a sad laugh.

You turned your face on the bed but didn't adjust your body towards her, remaining lying down. "Are we going to talk, or are you going to shout at me again?"

“I didn't shout…”

It makes you sit up with indignation. "Yes, you did." You interrupted her, your expression serious and hurt. Wanda almost shuddered, she didn't know how to handle this look on you. When did you two ever have a serious fight in all those years of friendship? She honestly couldn't remember. "Not just today, by the way. Last week, with Darcy and Monica, you practically insulted me out of the game. I thought you were being a sore loser, and I let it slide, but now... damn it, this has been going on for a long time, Wanda." You snap. "I don't know what's going on with you. You don't seem to want to be around me anymore. I don't..." You sigh, and Wanda swallows dryly, taking a step forward.

"It's not like that." She mutters, not meeting your gaze, and you sniffle slightly, standing up.

"This is about the dorm, isn't it?" You ask, not giving her time to understand what you mean. "It happened to Steve too, when he and Bucky started sharing a room. It's just, a lot. It's different when you live with your friend, with all the other person's quirks and differences... I understand if you're tired of me. I could ask for a switch."

Wanda immediately shakes her head, confusion turning to indignation. "What the fuck are you talking about? I don't want you to move out."

But you chuckle sadly, wiping a hand across your face. "I honestly don't know what you want any more, Wanda." You retort, upset. "You're distant and mean. You can't seem to stand being around me most of the time, only to climb into my bed at night wanting to cuddle. Then you ignore me the next day. I just... It's exhausting. If you want to tell me to fuck off, give you more space, just do it. Stop this rollercoaster. It hurts me."

Wanda considers your words, unable to detach herself from the truth behind them. The way she has been treating you, and hurting you almost on purpose. That's how selfish she could be - the lack of reciprocity hurt her, and if Wanda couldn't make you feel the same, at least she could hurt you too.

And acknowledging that to herself made her sick.

You sighed at her silence and approached only to go around her and open the door. With your hand still on the doorknob, you looked at her from the shoulder.

"Tell me what you want when you're ready, Wanda." You asked gently. "We're not like Bucky and Steve. We'll make it work. We always do."

Wanda turned around, but you had already left the room.

She'd like to say that she ran after you. Or at least called. That she found you the next day, apologized and you talked for hours in your favorite place.

But she did the opposite of all that.

Wanda called people, but people who didn't get along with you. She got new clothes, new friends, new drugs. She learned how to really party, the kind that puts out anything she wants with alcohol, for as many hours as her body can take.

And every time you tried to reach her, she pushed you away until you got tired of trying.

Her father called her, wanting to find out why she was missing family lunches. He also asked about you.

Wanda lied that everything was fine and stopped answering her phone.

And every time her brain insisted on thinking about you, she found someone to drag the memory away. 

Soon, you also stopped viewing her posts.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda maximoff #marvel imagines #pure heroine series

[bkatlips]

Ranking and explaining my rankings of Mike Flanagan’s shows and how they make me feel in honor of spooky season and just finishing Usher!! Why not!! Everyone else is doing it!! I’m also going to give it a gay score based on how gay they are (which also includes how big of a role gay characters played).

Disclaimer: Every one of these shows is well-made in one way or another and deserves to be watched based on whether someone else finds the premise interesting and not whether I liked the show. Too often I see “that show was bad to me therefore you shouldn’t watch it” and I disagree with that line of thinking.

1. The Haunting of Bly Manor-I can already hear people screaming “Hill House is better!” In some ways, yes! In some very important ways, however, I disagree. The biggest being Bly Manor emotionally resonated with me a lot more. The themes, the found family (as someone who is an only child), and of course, the lesbianism. Dani’s story of compulsory heterosexuality may be one of if not the best in media and her love story with Jamie ended up being one of the best media has to offer, too. And really using a horror story and turning it into a love story is kind of brilliant (and annoying for the people who were just there for the jumpscares I guess). Don’t get me wrong the show has flaws (why the FUCK do Peter and Rebecca have so much screentime? was that eight episode really the best placement?) but the stuff that lands, really really lands. I’m still thinking about Dani and Jamie 3 years later. Hannah’s episode was very well done. The kid actors little Amelie and Ben were phenomenal. Upon rewatch you notice most decisions and dialogue in the show were made with some purpose and it usually relates to something thematic. Some people may say it doesn’t really have one defining central thesis therefore making it messy, but to me the fact it has many themes actually makes it more fun to think about. Gay score: 100000/10

2. The Haunting of Hill House-A horror classic that got me into Flanagan! This is Flanagan’s best series as far as making you pee your pants. That hat man is just scary! The character work is nice. Those first 6 episodes are incredible. Perfect. The thing that brings it under Bly Manor for me is honestly the ending. It left something to be desired for me. I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is, but it just did not conclude in such an emotionally resonant way as Bly Manor to me. Shout out to the Newton Bros because the music on this damn show (and Bly too but that’s basically Hill House music continued) is so so good. Also the character work is masterful because Shirley Crain is kind of a bitch but you do come to love her. In fact, there wasn’t a Crain I didn’t feel for. They’re deeply fucked up, sympathetic people. It’s a great show with some great thematic work but it just doesn’t speak to me quite as much as Bly, that’s it. I know that’s unpopular but it is what it is. A great good show nonetheless. Gay score: 8/10

3. The Fall of the House of Usher-This show is wild and honestly I couldn’t decide between ranking this one or Midnight Club third. I went with this one because the acting and technical stuff was so phenomenal. I’m not really into gore horror so this wasn’t like my thing on the surface but I do appreciate what a homage to Poe it is in the very limited knowledge of Poe’s work that I have. It was fun to see all the cast from previous shows back again especially T’nia. One of the downsides to this show is it doesn’t really make you feel a lot and so compared to the Haunting shows for me that makes it inferior for sure. But it’s a fun watch and honestly I need to rewatch the final episode because I had a hard time paying attention for that one. Gay score: really fucking queer/10

4. The Midnight Club-Ah Flanagan’s little dud. This one is really not very loved compared to the others, seems to be just about nobody’s favorite, however personally I liked it. I think people are a little unfair to it and while it may not be Flanagan’s best, I don’t think it’s awful. It doesn’t really tackle anything new when it comes to themes. There’s some death, grief, stages of acceptance, and cult stuff. I think the way it has these kids telling stories to deal with their reality was really brilliant in a way. There was one episode (six I think) that dealt with depression and suicide that made me sob and I thought was super well done. That one stuck with me.I think it would have benefited from a more likeable main character and also from the second season that was planned! Gay score: 6/10

5. Midnight Mass-To be honest, I probably could have gone without watching this show. It just didn’t really resonate with me and didn’t really entertain me save like the very last two episodes. It’s technically well-made and I appreciate what Flanagan was trying to do and convey with the danger of cults and religion. It was obviously a very personal project and was him working through his own experiences but it wasn’t for me. It had a few too many monologues and I don’t think monologues make an interesting character piece. However, it’s a critically acclaimed work so I recommend anyone who wants to check out Flanagan’s work still check it out! Especially if you like weird vampire stuff I guess. Also the acting especially from the priest was phenomenal. So there’s definitely pros to this show, but it didn’t add anything to my life for me! Gay score: 3/10 :/

Also, shout out to Mike because every single one of these shows is queer to one degree or another. He loves the gays! Ally! Bisexual wife probably helps too!

#the haunting of bly manor #the haunting of hill house #mike flanagan #the midnight club #midnight mass #the fall of the house of usher #bly manor #hill house #thobm #jamie and dani

[bengiyo]

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat 2 Eps 9-12 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Nomoto and her new online friend had a watch party and discussed the nature of asexuality and homosexuality coexisting, and Nomoto shared about being in love with Kasuga; I'm a big fan of Yako. The ladies managed to connect more with Nagumo, and we learned she has an eating disorder where she can't eat in front of strangers. However, she did make donuts with them and took some home. Kasuga also managed to sever ties with her father after thinking about it and talking with other women. She asked if Nomoto would support her, and of course she did. I will never stop thinking about the Chosen Family scene.

Episode 9

Yes, Yako, coach her. We cannot let them exit this season without talking through their feelings for each other.

I have never identified with a character more than Yako. I would also enjoy my food and wine while watching my friend sweat over the crush.

Yako backstory! It really is hard in your teens when you are deeply out of alignment with other queers about sex.

The power went out and Kasuga immediately went to check on Nomoto. You love to see it.

NOMOTO IS WEARING ONE OF KASUGA'S SWEATERS, AND KASUGA JUST PULLED LINT FROM HER HAIR. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Thank you, Nagumo! It would be awkward as hell to sit in this zone of lesbian love and not know what stage we were on!

We have verbal confirmation that Kasuga likes Nomoto! Nagumo, you are our champion! You have to get these two to the next level!!

Currently dwelling on Kasuga not lying when asked directly about her feelings. There's a difference between being out and letting people in, and I like that Kasuga told her truth to Nagumo.

Episode 10

Their project manager is at least being upfront with them that they're being asked to rebuild the entire app.

Sorry, Kasuga, but it's not often we escape compulsory heterosexuality and still have a positive interaction in a sales environment like this.

Nagumo, I love you. You have finally given us a reason to have Kasuga voice her thoughts aloud.

This show really said plainly that the presumption of heteronormativity hurts and upsets people who don't fit that mold.

I really love this show detailing how harrowing pining is when you don't know if the other person is queer and the relationship you've built means so much to you.

Episode 11

Episode 21, you aired on Valentine's Day. Please don't let me down.

This former Valentine's Day and White Day gifting tradition sounds tedious as hell.

I didn't expect Kasuga's family troubles to end with that one phone call, and here goes the aunt downplaying Kasuga's feelings and bulldozing over her expressed boundaries.

Okay, Mikami! Way to come through for my girls!!

I wanna have hotpot so bad right now.

I'm so nervous about these chocolates!!

Damn, this cake looks good. I like putting the whipped cream on the side.

Kasuga picked out different chocolates! I'm so proud of her!

Now, Kasuga, why would you go and crush me like that on Valentine's Day? I know why you need to move, but goddamn.

Episode 12

Invoices for raising her? Vile.

Queers apologizing for being selfish when they confess will never not make me cry.

I'm sorry I got a bit testy at the dramatic cliffhanger, Kasuga. You came through for me exactly the way I hoped. Y'all should definitely find a bigger place together and stay in touch with Nagumo.

"I am very delighted and also taken aback." She's like me and I love her.

Aww that was so beautiful, and she's still crying.

I'm so glad she told Sayama immediately. We stay winning.

Man, I just watched I Only Want to See You, and I'm feeling the same difficulty in the transition from friendship to romance in the relationship.

Yes, ladies, thank you for talking through telling others and reaffirming that this is definitely a romance. Let's make sure no one, especially the audience, misunderstands.

I love how Nomoto bursts into tears when she swoons.

Oh snap the whole squad is going to meet Yako next week!!!

We did it, y'all! We got to see them confess their feelings and start dating. I'm so looking forward to seeing their relationship grow and mature, and I'm actually looking forward to the move and the attendant drama that brings. I hope Nagumo doesn't end up thinking that asking about their relationship somehow cost her the relationship she's been building with them. This was an excellent week of episodes.

Big thanks to @furritsubs for making this possible.

#Ben watches #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #Japanese GL #gl series

[djeterg19]

This just really feels like a LOT of internalized homophobia and/or compulsory heterosexuality to me which I get because of the culture and all that but damn it hurts

Max said forget that shit how do you really feel?

The pause? Kawi's face? The deflection? 😭😭😭

Max is the gay Yoda helping these two come to terms with their queerness

#be my favorite the series #be my favorite

[sevensoulmates]

Thank you so much for the explanation, because yes I wasn't seeing the bigger picture (about the titles for the episodes) but yes, it's logical that the meaning behind the title will be to set an overall atmosphere for the whole thing. And I didn't knew about that many references to movies/series? mainly becausey I haven't seen most of them 🤦‍♀️ and other references about phrases (I just didn't know the "why" behind the titles).

And of course sometimes the characters don't even know what's going on their minds yet but luckily I'm on the "Eddie/Buck taking their sweet time realizing how they actually feel" side, getting there is half the fun right?

Thanks for the sharing the post by useramor, I didn't knew about it!

Can I ask another thing? I was really curious about some fans panicking over the possibility of Eddie calling Buck "brother" in incoming episodes, where is this coming from and why is this bad? I just don't get it and I feel like I missing some info.

Thank you for your prompt response, I really appreciate you taking the time to do it.

Titles do have some importance but most of the time the original source material doesn't have THAT much to do with it. Such as the movies, etc. Titles can help set the tone, and general themes, but I wouldn't take them wholly literally, as I've seen people be disappointed in the past because a title like "What's Your Fantasy?" didn't immediately equate to Buck and Eddie doing the nasty in that episode.

It's funny you should mention the "brother" thing, cuz that's actually what I was thinking about when I answered your last ask, hence the "CHARACTERS LIE!!" moment LOLOL I was actually debating making a whole post in regards to that but I was on the fence. Your ask gives me the perfect excuse.

For context: the "eddie calls buck his brother" rumors came about from some accounts on twitter and tumblr who claim (without proof) that they have a "source" that works for 911 that is feeding them info and pictures. Even if the source part is true, all of it is still out of context, and therefore anything that is leaked should ALWAYS be taken with the SMALLEST possible grain of salt. Nothing is true until we see it with our own eyeballs on our tv screens.

I feel like I'm one of the few people who didn't immediately be like one of them calling the other brother means it's the end of Buddie!! We already know that this arc is going to revolve around Buck (and possibly Eddie too) being confused and uncertain of where their relationship stands. I think that the purposeful confusion and uncertainty are because neither Buck nor Eddie really understands why their feelings are getting hurt or why the other is acting in certain ways. That, plus all of the last few seasons, have shown that Buck and Eddie don't really talk a lot about who they are to each other. They kind of just....live in that nebulousness and hope no one comes along and points out how odd it is.

Something else I want to point out is that if the rumor is true, we don't know AT WHAT POINT in the episode he says this. What new information might have come to light before this? Additionally, we don't know what acting choices might come along with it. Does Eddie look weird as he says "brother"? Does Buck make an odd face? Is the camera focus on the scene being uncomfortable? Is the "brother" comment accepted easily or hesitantly? Is there romantic/soft or discordant music in the background? What is being said without being said in the moment? There are simply too many unknown variables in the equation including story context, editing, sound, and acting choices for me to immediately be like "damn, guess I'll give up now".

We also don't know if this happens in episode 4 or 5 which also vastly changes the context.

I'll also tell you what my first thought was when I heard the "Eddie calls buck his brother!" rumors. I thought "Oh of course he did, he's still deep in compulsory heterosexuality".

Let's think about this in two ways:

If Buck comes out as Bi, and Eddie calls him his brother for the first time since they met? That's so strange. Why now all of a sudden is Eddie purposefully trying to immediately shut down the possibility of them being romantic? Why does the idea of Buck having a romantic interest in men suddenly make Eddie feel the need to draw boundaries? One could say it's a homophobic response, or (more likely) an internalized homophobic response. One could also say it's so Buck does not get the idea of a romantic relationship being possible between them, which again, why does he feel the need to draw that distinction if they're both oh so confident they're the best of friends and will never be anything but friends. "Brother" is also distancing language as well. It could be a way for Eddie to distance himself from Buck, and in turn, Buck's queerness. Again, why? No one in his immediate circle is homophobic so why does he feel the need to distance himself in every way possible from even the tiniest idea of queerness being associated with him? All of it screams internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality to me.

Now let's go the non-queer route. Say Buck is still straight as a ruler. They resolve their issue, Eddie reassures Buck that they're best still friends, etc. I am again wondering why Eddie feels the need to use "brother" for the first time in years. It should imply being closer than friends. But Eddie has already proven that he views Buck as closer than his blood family, hence why Buck is in the will, and Eddie's family is not. So why again, "brother" if not to purposely draw attention to the odd (and out of character) word choice. This could once again be Eddie using distancing language, which once again implies all of the stuff I said before. And in this case, it's even odder, because Buck is (as far as Eddie knows) a straight man. So why the need to draw a boundary? That lends more to Eddie having a potential fear of being perceived as queer by Buck. That also lends to internalized homophobia.

And all of that aside, at the end of the day, Buck and Eddie are not blood-related, and they didn't grow up with each other, so even if they call each other brothers...it's always going to be in a metaphorical sense. And there's the fact that FEELINGS. CAN. CHANGE. Eddie might believe he sees Buck as a brother at the moment, but that could change in a single instant. If Eddie's really not had that many other close male friends in his life, he might truly believe that what he feels for Buck is just friendship and not realize that actually...this is something vastly different. Or, like I said, he might be LYING. The writers could also be LYING to us on purpose.

It's possible that it could be used as a red herring, to make the audience believe one thing, and then they plan to subvert it as a "plot twist" at the end. It could be used as a plot device and a stepping stool to so many other things. And additionally, why now? Why in this big episode where it seems like sexuality might come into play? Why not in episode 1 when Eddie could've been like "You're like an uncle to Chris". And of course, again, the biggest point of them all: we already KNOW that Buck and Eddie are the closest of friends. We've seen it, new audiences have seen it. So why suddenly redefine it as "brothers" during an episode where it seems like Buck is getting his own feelings regarding their relationship confused.

The last thing to think about is this: how does doubling down on Buck and Eddie being "brothers" push the story forward? Story needs conflict, and 911 thrives off of creating long-term conflict. How does being "brothers" set up a long-term conflict for them? Or, if being "brothers" is the resolution for their conflict, then what is changing as a result of being "brothers"? How are they getting closer than they already are by being "brothers"? Truthfully, them redefining their relationship to "brothers" changes absolutely nothing about their relationship.

I don't agree with people who say "This shuts down all hope of buddie" because season 6 already pulled them as far apart as they could be. It gave them female love interests to do something with if they wanted to this season but fact of the matter is that the writers didn't want to pursue those stories. They threw Buddie back together so fiercely and chopped their love interests down to less importance than randos on calls.

So what is left that actually can cause Buck and Eddie's relationship to evolve into something we've never seen from them before? The only answer is romance. So, no, I'm not worried about some random "brothers" comment.

#911 abc #speculation #speculation about leaks #spoilers #btw to the people actually leaking this information from quote unquote sources you're literally being so stupid risking peoples jobs #and also ruining the fandom's fun #all for out-of-context information that gives you something to feel high and mighty about lording over the fandom #it's really immature and I hope Tim and co figure out who the leakers are and put an end to it because this is literally getting reDONKulou

[tofu-gaycat]

This is the time to talk how exactly compulsory heterosexuality (comphet) affected me and in what ways trough my life, this is more of an intro post and a personal story.

When I was young I was always told that “guys should look after me and will pay attention to me eventually, that will make me happier and just be essential with time”. Even back then I didn’t understand what so cool about dating a guy? What makes him so special and why each girl should do this somehow? That it brings kids? Isn’t our planet already overpopulated? Some people can be child free? Even when I was small I didn’t really care for this “aspect of happiness” and therefore wasn’t affected compulsory heterosexuality due to my young age and attitude - I didn’t see my future where I settle down with a man.

Everything has changed when I thought I caught a first crush for a guy since everyone around me already did and it so cool. It wasn’t cool and it wasn’t a crush in the first place, it was a first example of attraction I needed to unconsciously fit in. After this I’ve developed another one-funny how both of guys were unavailable and of course ones I made in my head. Back then I couldn’t even bring myself to a thought that it was comphet. After I’ve finally came with terms that I was lesbian all along (May of 2022) and was repressing my attraction to women, I explained it as an attraction to men didn’t feel so real as it is to women, plus I’ve never had an attraction to men who were available and ones who were available were pushed away by me (literally lol). Even when I did so I couldn’t give it a name and just thought it was my unique experience and people don’t usually deal with it…I was wrong.

In one of my previous posts I shared a lesbian doc: it says that having attraction to unavailable men (fictional and ones unavailable irl) not seeing your future with a man and just feeling as this attraction is forced - is a huge sign of comphet (you can read it for yourself).

However, the story doesn’t end here since trough those almost 2 years I couldn’t live without having a damn crisis. I went back and forth from lesbian to bisexual - all due to same reason and wanting “to fit in” aka being forced into standards by compthet- the past issue like this is no easy to fight with even after years of being sure. I’ve never in my life felt legitimately sexually and romantically attracted to men. I can recall liking several girls and women and it felt real and not forced. Funny enough how despite getting romantic attraction almost never - I felt it for woman anyway. So all my “crises” ended in their own when I recall that comphet is still there and can affect anyone so it’s important to outline an issue so your true self won’t have to hide away.

In the end, I believe that it takes a while to spot and realise your comphet, how to fight with it and seek similar experiences. Don’t worry - being a lesbian is beautiful and no one should tell you otherwise <3

P.s I will make more posts about my exact experience with it so stay tuned!

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Love for y’all, stay safe👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽

Meme by @louvainisntacity

#lgbt #pride #compulsory heterosexuality #comphet #lesbianism #lesbiandoc #lesbian #long reads #proud #questioning #trans women are valid #lesbians are valid #my experiences #love women #:3 #idk how to tag this

[swordpen]

On Criston/Alicent and Queerness

I think the biggest surprise of House of the Dragon for me wasn’t the gore or the truly batshit political decisions some of the characters make—it was how much I connected to Criston and Alicent’s relationship as a queer person.*

(*Standard disclaimer that my personal experience isn’t universal, queer people aren’t a monolith, I’m just analyzing this relationship within a context.)

Of course, when you think about queerness and HOTD, I’m sure Criston/Alicent is the last thing on your mind. In fact, in the parts of the fandom that interpret Alicent as queer/a lesbian, Criston/Alicent is basically the embodiment of compulsory heterosexuality. It’s two people violently clinging to the roles assigned to them: as knight and queen, man and woman, heterosexual and chaste. Criston especially is toxic masculinity walking around in armor, an incel who puts Alicent on a damaging pedestal and becomes bitter and violent when Rhaenyra refuses him.

I think this reading is pretty valid (although that last part is vastly oversimplified, and—well, we don’t have time for that). It’s probably what the show wants us to take away. But metaphorically, I saw a lot of my own struggles with queerness reflected in Alicent and Criston.

For all the power they wield relative to the smallfolk, Alicent and Criston both lack the privilege afforded to Rhaenyra: Alicent as a woman, and Criston as a lowborn knight sworn into the royal family’s service. Unlike Rhaenyra, when things get tough, they cannot leave—they must hide their feelings and continue to work within society. When Rhaenyra has sex with Criston, she holds a damning secret over his head, and while Viserys might forgive her, outing Criston will get him killed or worse. Alicent saves him, and he becomes the person she puts the most trust in, a second parent figure to her children. But if they do have romantic feelings for each other, they must keep that effectively closeted, while Rhaenyra and Laenor fairly openly pursue anyone they want. There’s also the whole underlying thread of religious guilt and repression, which is of course not limited to queerness at all, but is a dimension of Alicent and Criston’s relationship that hits home all the same--as does the ambiguity around Criston's celibacy and desire for sex, with the narrative making it clear that their bond is meaningful without it.

In all fairness, courtly love as a trope has always felt especially queer to me, even for how blatantly unhealthy it is: unfailing devotion that can never really become a relationship, deep feelings cloaked in several plausible deniability layers of “duty” and “honor.” And as someone incredibly careful and anxious, I really can’t imagine being as brazen as Rhaenyra. (I also have a bad habit of getting attached to characters other people don’t like as much.) It’s probably no wonder I connected to Criston and Alicent in a different way than Alicent and Rhaenyra. 

Both relationships are tragedies: Rhaenyra and Alicent are two girls whose love for each other is twisted by the patriarchy, yes, but also the wildly different positions they hold within the power structure. As much as they love each other, their conflicting philosophies and experiences have made it almost impossible for them to truly understand each other. 

Criston and Alicent also hold wildly different positions in the power structure, but their philosophies and experiences align far more. They do understand each other, the roles they have to play, the powerlessness they have to combat. They’re good at it. Their tragedy is that it still will not be enough.

#criston cole #alicent hightower #alicole #house of the dragon #hotd meta #tldr criston/alicent's relationship reads as a marginalized and non-normative relationship #where both parties have to be extremely careful and aware of the society they live in #which really connected with me as a queer person #it's really interesting how many different facets the show is playing with - undeniably alicent and rhaenyra #understand what it's like to be women in this world #but criston and alicent both understand what it's like to lack agency and privilege in a way rhaenyra doesn't yet #and since neither of them have experienced that freedom #they cannot understand why rhaenyra takes such risks with it

[quillkiller]

"Damn it, Neil. The name is Nuwanda."

I want to talk about the queer coded symbolism and mise-en-scene in Dead Poets Society, and now you're probably thinking 'yes we all ship neil and todd' and yes that's true, but not what i mean.

Nuwanda is a trans woman! Let's get into it.

(i apogolize if my use of pronouns are confusing. i refer to nuwanda as he/him when he's at welton because the boy atmosphere and his part in that creates such a deep meaning to his experience as a person slowly figuring out through poetry that he might be a trans woman. especially in this tight knit friend group consisting of "boys with emotions". that's why i use she/her pronouns when talking about her getting closer and closer to figuring herself out) (also this is my own interpretation of the film so i can do what i want)

First off! When Charlie announces that he's changing his name to Nuwanda, no one questions him. The laddies adapt to it immediately and start calling him Nuwanda, for the simple reason that he asked them to.

Second, Nuwanda invited two girls to the cave and literally all he did was borrow their lipstick and change his name? Nuwanda said he wanted to learn about and read poetry because he 'wanted to make women swoon' but in reality he was a woman who gravitated towards learning about femininity, wanting to compensate for the fact that he actually identifies with womanhood.

For a character saying he wanted to woo women, he shows absolutely no interest in women what so ever. I genuinely think the writing shows such a complex relationship between gender and internalised transphobia/compulsory heterosexuality.

(I personally do believe that Nuwanda is heterosexual, but i believe he's a heterosexual trans woman and he's in the process of figuring that out through poetry and that's so beautiful!!!!)

All the boys hate Welton and they continuously joke about getting themselves expelled, but no one actually means it. Nuwanda was the only one actually risking his place at Welton and he did it writing an article saying that women should be accepted into welton. He risked his place at Welton and for what? Because 'he wanted a girlfriend'?

No! He was the only one who actually risked his place at Welton because he doesn't belong but he desperately wants to, and if women were to be accepted into Welton, Nuwanda will be too. He would rather get expelled, and did in the end, because that's a woman trying to save her own fucking life. Nuwanda really said 'accept women into Welton or i walk'.

There's also a scene where they're all in class, just walking around, literally, on Professor Keating demands, and it holds so much power for the reading of Nuwanda being a trans woman. Professor Keating says they all need to 'walk their own path' and to not follow the paths already made. Everyone starts walking and they all do it differently, except for Nuwanda. Nuwanda stays behind and says "I'm exercising my right not to walk" and Professor Keating looks at him proudly.

All the boys start walking whereas Nuwanda stays behind, distancing himself from making his own path as a man. Nuwanda was exercising his right not to participate in walking through life as a man. it's such a wonderful wonderful wonderful scene and i love her so much.

There's also the way Nuwanda dresses. Nuwanda starts changing his style throughout the film and you cannot tell me he conforms to the societal norms of a boy his age, at welton, meant to get into an ivy league school after graduation. He's slowly experimenting with his gender expression throughout the film, being fascinated by lipstick, changing his hair, trying on different hats, etc. It' so subtle but at the same time it's so big.

There's also the scene where Nuwanda gets punished by the headmaster. The punishment is a spanking and he has to lean over the headmasters desk and pull down his pants, and the headmaster is behind him. There's a clear power imbalance between the headmaster and Nuwanda, almost as if Nuwanda is the woman in that scene while a man abuses him the way he would abuse a woman. The punishment is inherently a feminization of his character, making him lean over and strip him off his power and being at the mercy of a man. The scene draws from female trauma and the power of men, while projecting it onto Nuwanda's character, creating more symbolism as to why Nuwanda is a trans woman.

Another scene, the coach comes into the changing rooms and yells:

"Let's go boys, hussle up in here! That means you Dalton!"

Dalton, Nuwanda, is standing in front of the mirror and combing his hair. None of the other boys do, they all tussle and fix their hair with their hands and then they're good. Nuwanda cares about how he looks and the coach is telling him, specifically, that he needs to man up.

These are the main reasons i believe Nuwanda left Welton and finally could start living her life as a woman. Especially considering the end of the film, Neils fate and how it represents the importance of being yourself and finding your own voice. There's so much in the subtext that indicate a queer and/or trans reading of the film. In the mise-en-scene, in the manuscript, symbolism, etc.

(Image of Nuwanda, showing his chest covered in lipstick, a feminine gender expression. He's removing his tie, which literally ties him to the man people want him to be.)

#i've never posted anything like this #flexing my bachelor's degree in film science fr fr #anyway! #dead poets society #dps #nuwanda #charles dalton #film review #it's not a very formal film review #but a film review nonetheless #also english is not my first language so sorry

[lacangri21]

The Feminist Library

-7000 Years of Patriarchy by Petra Ioana

-A Deafening Silence by Patrizia Romito

-Against Our Will by Susan Brownmiller

-Against Pornography by Diana E.H. Russell

-Against Sadomasochism by Robin Linden

-Ain’t I a Woman by Bell Hooks

-All Women Are Healers by Diane Stein

-Anti-Porn by Julia Long

-Anticlimax by Sheila Jeffreys

-Are Women Human by Catharine MacKinnon

-Backlash by Susan Faludi

-Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay

-Beauty and Misogyny by Sheila Jeffreys

-Beauty Sick by Renee Engeln

-Beauty Under the Knife by Holly Brubach

-Being and Being Bought by Kasja Ekis Ekman

-Beyond God the Father by Mary Daly

-Big Porn Inc by Melinda Tankard Reist and Abigail Bray

-Blood, Bread, and Roses by Judy Graham

-The Book of Women’s Mysteries by Z Budapest

-Borderlands by Gloria Anzaldua

-Burn it Down by Lilly Dancyger

-Butterfly Politics by Catharine MacKinnon

-Caliban and the Witch by Silvia Federici

-Choosing to Conform by Avelie Stuart

-The Church and the Second Sex by Mary Daly

-Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein

-Close to Home by Christine Delphy

-Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence by Adrienne Rich

-Conquest by Andrea Lee Smith

-Damned Whores and God’s Police by Anne Summers

-Daring to Be Bad by Alice Echols

-Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers by Sady Doyle

-Defending Battered Women on Trial by Elizabeth A. Sheehy

-Deliver Us from Love by Brogger

-Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine

-Detransition by Max Robinson

-The Disappearing L by Bonnie J. Morris

-Does God Hate Women by Ophelia Benson

-Doing Harm by Maya Dusenbery

-The End of Gender by Debra W. Soh

-The End of Patriarchy by Robert Jensen?

-Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy

-Female Erasure by Ruth Barrett

-Female Sexual Slavery by Kathleen Barry

-Femicide by Jill Radford and Diane EH Russell

-Femininity by Susan Brownmiller

-Femininity and Domination by Sandra Lee Bartky

-Feminism Unmodified by Catharine MacKinnon

-Feminist Theory by Bell Hooks

-Firebrand Feminism by Breanne Fahs

-Flesh Wounds by Blum

-Flow by Elissa Stein and Susan Kim

-For Her Own Good by Barbara Ehrenreich

-For Lesbians Only by Sarah Lucia Hoagland

-Freedom Fallacy by Miranda Kiraly

-Gender Hurts by Sheila Jeffreys

-Getting Off by Robert Jensen?

-Global Woman by Barbara Ehrenreich

-Going Out of Our Minds by Sonia Johnson

-Going Too Far by Robin Morgan

-The Great Cosmic Mother by Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor

-Gyn/Ecology by Mary Daly

-Gynocide by Mariarosa Dalta Costa

-Handbook of Feminist Therapy by Lynne Bravo Rosewater and Leonore E.A. Walker

-Heartbreak by Andrea Dworkin

-Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado

-The Hidden Malpractice by Gena Corea

-How to Suppress Women’s Writing by Joanna Russ

-I Am Your Sister by Audre Lorde

-I Hate Men by Pauline Harmange

-Ice and Fire by Andrea Dworkin

-In Defense of Separatism by Susan Hawthorne

-In Harm’s Way by Catharine MacKinnon

-In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens by Alice Walker

-The Industrial Vagina by Sheila Jeffreys

-Inferior by Angela Saini

-Intercourse by Andrea Dworkin

-Invisible No More by Andrea J. Ritchie

-Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez

-Jewish Radical Feminism by Joyce Antler

-Kill All Normies by Angela Nagle

-The Laugh of Medusa by Helene Cixous

-Laughing with Medusa by Vanda Zajko and Miriam Leonard

-The Lesbian Heresy by Sheila Jeffreys

-Lesbian Nation by Jill Johnston

-Letters from a War Zone by Andrea Dworkin

-Love and Politics by Carol Anne Douglas

-Loving to Survive by Dee Graham

-Making Violence Sexy by Diana E.H. Russell

-Man Made Language by Dale Spender

-Man’s Dominion by Sheila Jeffreys

-Medical Bondage by Deirdre Cooper Owens

-Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit

-Men Who Buy Sex by Melissa Farley

-Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates

-Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them by Susan Forward

-Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

-Misogyny by Jack Holland?

-The New Handbook for a Post-Roe America by Robin Marty

-Nobody’s Victim by Carrie Goldberg

-Not a Job, Not a Choice by Janice Raymond

-Not for Sale by Rebecca Whisnant

-Nothing Matters by Somer Brodribb

-Objectification Theory by Barbara I. Fredrickson

-Of Woman Born by Adrienne Rich

-Only Words by Catharine MacKinnon

-Our Blood by Andrea Dworkin

-Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston Women’s Health Book Collective

-Overcoming Violence Against Women and Girls by Michael L. Penn and Rahel Nardos?

-Paid For by Rachel Moran

-The Pimping of Prostitution by Julie Bindel

-Pimp State by Kat Banyard

-Policing the Womb by Michelle Goodwin

-Pornified by Pamela Paul

-Pornland by Gail Dines

-Pornography by Gail Dines

-Pornography: Men Possessing Women by Andrea Dworkin

-Pornography and Civil Rights by Andrea Dworkin and Catharine MacKinnon

-Pornography and Violence by Susan Griffith

-Pornography Values by Robert Jensen?

-Pure Lust by Mary Daly

-The Purify Myth by Jessica Valenti

-Quiverfull by Kathryn Joyce

-Radical Feminism Today by Denise Thompson

-Radical Feminist Therapy by Bonnie Burstow

-Radical Reckonings by Renate Klein

-Radically Speaking by Diane Bell...

-Rape by Susan Griffiths

-Rape in Marriage by Diana E.H. Russell

-Rape of the Wild by Ann Jones

-Refusing to Be a Man by John Stoltenberg?

-Right-Wing Woman by Andrea Dworkin

-A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf

-Runaway Wives and Rogue Feminists by Margo Goodhand

-SCUM Manifesto by Valerie Solanas

-Selling Feminism by Amanda M. Gengler

-Sex Matters by Alyson J. McGregor

-Sexual Harassment of Working Women by Catharine MacKinnon

-Sexual Politics by Kate Millett

-Sexy but Psycho by Jessica Taylor

-She Dreams When She Bleeds by Nikki Taraji

-Sister Outrider by Audre Lorde

-Sisterhood is Forever by Robin Morgan

-Sisterhood is Global by Robin Morgan

-Sisterhood is Powerful by Robin Morgan

-Slavery Inc by Lydia Cacho

-Spinning and Weaving by Elizabeth Miller

-Surrogacy by Renate Klein

-Sweetening the Pill by Holly Grigg-Spall

-Taking Back the Night by Laura Lederer

-Talking Back by Bell Hooks

-Testosterone Rex by Cordelia Fine

-The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf

-The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner

-The Dialectic of Sex by Shulamith Firestone

-The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan

-The First Sex by Elizabeth Gould

-The Legacy of Mothers: Matriarchies and the Gift Economy as Post-Capitalist Alternatives by Erella Shadmi

-The Lolita Effect by Gigi Durham

-The Man-Made World by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

The Porn Trap by Wendy Maltz

-The Prostitution of Sexuality by Kathleen Barry

-The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

-The Sexual Liberals and the Attack on Feminism by Janice Raymond...

-The Spinster and Her Enemies by Sheila Jeffreys

-The Transsexual Empire by Janice Raymond

-The Women’s History of the World by Rosalind Miles

-This Bridge Called My Back by Gloria Anzaldua

-This is Your Brain on Birth Control by Sarah Hill

-Toward a Feminist Theory of the State by Catharine MacKinnon

-The Traffic in Women and Other Essays by Emma Goldman

-Trans by Helen Joyce

-Unbearable Weight by Susan Bordo

-Unpacking Queer Politics by Sheila Jeffreys

-Unscrewed by Jaclyn Friedman

-Unwell Women by Elinor Cleghorn

-The Unwomanly Face of War by Svetlana Alexievich

-The Vagina Bible by Jennifer Gunter

-A Vindication of the Rights of Woman by Mary Wollstonecraft

-The War Against Women by Marilyn French

-We Were Feminists Once by Andi Zeisler

-What Do We Need Men For by E. Jean Carroll

-When God was a Woman by Merlin Stone

-Who Cooked the Last Supper by Rosalind Miles

-Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft

-Why Women Are Blamed for Everything by Jessica Taylor

-Why Women Need the Goddess by Carol P. Christ

-Wildfire by Sonia Johnson

-Witches, Midwives, and Nurses by Barbara Ehrenreich

-Witches, Witch Hunting, and Women by Silvia Federici

-Woman and Nature by Susan Griffith

-Woman Hating by Andrea Dworkin

-Woman-Identified Woman by Trudy Darty

-Women v. Religion by Karen L. Garst

-Women’s Lives, Men’s Laws by Catharine MacKinnon

-The Women’s Room by Marilyn French

#booklist #masterpost #feminism #knowledge #my favorites #original post

[bylerisc4non]

nah cuz mike isn't actually that oblivious. he knew damn well he loved will, at least in the back of his head. will was always different than everyone else, in his own category. he was someone mike relied on more than anyone else. someone he cherished and loved more than anyone else, because will made mike himself feel cherished and loved. like he wasn't a mistake. he just convinced himself it was platonic love because of compulsory heterosexuality.

just like how he convinced himself his connection to el was romantic, when, in reality, it was a friendship connection. a trauma bond. elmike will always be better platonic. they connected like friends. they helped one another like siblings who support each other through tough times. ('would i be like your sister?') but they were never more than that. el showed up in a time that mike was panicking, a time that he'd lost the one person he could rely on entirely. his best friend. and then she was there and (after he tried to get rid of her) he latched onto her. it felt comfortable because she was like will. or at least, he made her to be. he projected his best friend onto her and found comfort there while will was missing.

it wasn't real though. el and mike connected merely because she made him feel needed and loved when the one person who had made him feel that prior was out of the picture, possibly for good. el latched onto mike because all she'd ever had was brenner, who was abusive. so, when mike showed her all this kindest and love, being the first person to do that, it felt good. it was all new to her. and she immediately wanted that feeling more than anything, so she stuck around. thus, mike and el trying to fulfill themselves through their shallow, toxic, unhealthy relationship started.

and as for will and mike? mike said it best: 'it was the best thing i've ever done.' will was the best choice he ever made. they are the epitome of true love. soulmates. will was never platonic for mike, he just got confused along the way. understandably. but as i said earlier, he's not all that oblivious, especially in st4. he's finally deciphering the difference between his feelings for el (strictly platonic) and his feelings for will (romantic love and interest).

#byler #platonic elmike #stranger things #they are soulmates your honor #mike wheeler #will byers #platonic vs romantic #trauma bond vs the real thing #compulsory heterosexuality #elmike are just friends your honor #the love and attention of el confused mike #thats why he started confusing platonic and romantic love #from his pov she was giving him the kind of attention he wanted and had gotten from will

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

experiencing homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality a week ago really got me like. damn!! i deserve this double scoop ice cream waffle cone at 7:50am because i experienced homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality a week ago.

[maryellencarter]

and then sometimes you lose an entire day to trying (and failing) to express the utter brokenness of being romance-repulsed in a fandom where the only way people will ever say "finding your primary partner" is "falling in love"

i don't want to be the person who writes the goddamn terminology fic. i *hate* the terminology fic. it's artificial and out of character. and honestly, given just how fucking thoughtless people are about questioning amatonormativity, it probably wouldn't do a damn thing anyway. but i can't imagine anything less blatant than the fucking aven terminology page fic possibly getting through.

alao i will physically start stabbing people if i write a fic about aromanticism and get the inevitable "so true bestie jigen is alloromantic gay and suffers from the compulsory heterosexuality" comments

#i thought i blocked every possible lupin zero tag but one slipped through #it's ridiculous that i have not ever been able to see one single post about that show since episode five aired #that didn't go just fully amatonormative #not one person has ever bothered to say anything that allows for the relationship to still be a friendship #like it kept fucking saying it was before that #because romance overrides everything else

[ezrisdax-archive]

Kira Nerys

send me a character and I will tell you my:

First impression: I WANTED TO BE HER SO BADLY. god. I was three, she was so cool.

Impression now: I still want to be her, are you kidding how could I not? I find her a more complex character since then obviously and I can appreciate it more now but damn do I still wanna

Favorite moment: oh man so many.... for today I'll say the "I'm always diplomatic" scene

Idea for a story: Kira exploring the idea of compulsory heterosexualism and realizing she's not straight

Unpopular opinion: I hate when she's just boiled down to as 'angry' like in the story Revenant which I always take time to complain about where she's for some reason made into this person who just blows things up??? yeah she was a revolutionary but there's so much more to her than that. I dunno if that's unpopular though I just had to complain about it. uhhhh, I hate her and Odo and that's been popular for some reason this past year and I am haunted by it

Favorite relationship: romantic, her and Jadzia, platonic, her and Sisko.

Favorite headcanon: I like to think that at some point Kira does learn some plant lessons from Keiko and starts growing Bajoran plants on the station and her own flowers to take the graves of those she's buried. (I also think she has a grave for Jadzia and Ziyal on Bajor, even if Jadzia's is empty, given what we see of her burying her father figures I think she's just set up graves for people because she doesn't want to forget them and they're important to her. Obviously there's no grave for Sisko, she trusts he's coming back)

#beej talks star trek

[four-loose-screws]

I have been looking into Japanese Dorothea text, and I have been on Twitter and a few people who read the japanese text claimes that she was a comphet (compulsory heterosexual) lesbian. Is this actually true?

Hi! This question has been sitting around in my inbox for quite a while now, because... There's no true answer. Fire Emblem characters do not express explicit sexual orientations. Headcanon is headcanon; a person draws a conclusion based on how they interpret the game's events, mixed with their own personal experiences, likes/dislikes, etc. By nature headcanon is not something that can soundly be argued for or against, it's too personal. Even drawing a conclusion based on a character's S-Supports and/or their explicitly romantic character endings really isn't the same as them explicitly saying their orientation, or having it listed in a character profile, etc.

I can't possibly make an argument that would persuade everyone out there what any character's sexuality is, especially when sexuality is never explicitly stated as something that really even exists in the FE worlds (I don't think). Sexual identity as a concept was not even conceived of IRL until the late 1800s and early 1900s (At least, that is the school of thought I studied in LGBTQIA+ studies in college.). We fans are just drawing our conclusions from canon clues, subtext, and headcanon.

What I can prove, though, is that none of Dorothea's conversations and endings detailing her romances (that I have read, covering EVERY bit of text is a bit tough) are all that different between English and Japanese!

I've translated all of Dorothea's endings, so this is an easy convo for me.

Dorothea Endings: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Dorothea shares happily married endings with both m! and f! Byleth. Her endings with Ferdinand, Linhardt, Felix, Sylvain, Lorenz, and Hanneman all directly say she married them. Her opera with Yuri establishes that they fall in love. Her ending with Petra also directly says Petra loved her. And while her Japanese ending with Manuela does not use the word “love” like the localization does, the Japanese does say they “spent the rest of their lives living only for each other.” There will certainly be a crowd that denies that could possibly be romantic... but it's damning evidence for others.

Though one of Dorothea's main defining traits early on is her searching for a partner that will take care of her financially (see her Byleth supports for the most obvious examples), through her endings, we see that she will actually choose any partner from a varied list, male and female, across the entire social spectrum, and live happily. Granted, her romantic partners do tend to lean towards the noble class side... but I think that's more about the list of available partners in the game's canon than Dorothea herself.

Seeing that she changes from her original goals in a partner for financial/lifestyle security, and seems to live happily in a romance no matter her financial situation and lifestyle, I personally do not see the interpretation that Dorothea is a comphet lesbian. This holds true in both the Japanese and localized texts. There's little variation in translation there.

If you'd like to read more, check out the Dorothea supports I've translated, and feel free to request any other support chain you would like to see translated!

Dorothea / Edelgard: C Support - B Support - A Support

Dorothea / Felix: C Support - B Support - A Support - A+ Support

Dorothea / Ferdinand: C Support - B Support - A Support

Dorothea / Hubert: C Support - B Support - A Support

Dorothea / Manuela: C Support - B Support - A Support

I hope that answers anything! Readers, feel free to add something through an ask if you'd like!

#fire emblem #fe #fe16 #fire emblem 16 #fire emblem 3 houses #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #dorothea #dorothea arnault #japan #japanese #translation #localization #support conversation #support conversations

[holaafrica]

New Post has been published on https://holaafrica.org/compulsive-heterosexuality-maybe-you-are-born-with-it-maybe-you-are-a-little-queer/

Compulsive heterosexuality: Maybe you are born with it. Maybe you are a little queer

Here is a question for you: re you straight or is it just compulsory heterosexuality?

In a lot of ways a lot of us don’t think about this. From when we are tiny humans we are paired across the ‘two’ genders.

Awwwwww, such a cute boy you will break little girls hearts.

You will make a pretty wife one day?

Is that your boyfriend?

Straightness is often seen as the default and not only that a very particular type of straightness. One that involves monogamy and babies and marriage and a whole societal set up.

But in this internet age, sexuality is something we are thinking about more and more. Who are we attracted to? Who turns me on? Who makes me think of forever? Why is this Tik Tok of a queer woman licking her lips making me feel some type of way?

These are some real questions.

Despite these deep ponderings we are socialised to think about our sexuality in different ways and one of those tricky sticky ways is to be straight enter – compulsive heterosexuality.

‘Compulsory heterosexuality’ aka ‘Comphet’ aka ‘the idea that heterosexuality is the expected norm’. The phrase “compulsory heterosexuality” originally referred to the assumption by a male-dominated society that the only normal sexual relationship is between a man and a woman.

Adrienne Rich popularized the phrase “compulsory heterosexuality” in her 1980 essay “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence.”  Rich, who died in 2012, was a prominent feminist poet and writer who came out as a lesbian in 1976. In the essay, she argued from a specifically lesbian feminist point of view that heterosexuality is not intrinsic in human beings.

‘Nor is it the only normal sexuality’, Rich said. She further asserted that women can benefit more from relationships with other women than from relationships with men. ‘Heterosexuality may not be a “preference” at all but something that has had to be imposed, managed, organised, propagandised, and maintained by force.’ – Adrienne Rich

After the Am I A Lesbian MasterDoc remerged in the Tik Tok streets folx started thinking about this again. Created by Angali Luiz is tackled the obstacles that many lesbian faced when coming out that were *outside* of the classics i.e. family, religion etc etc. In a Vice interview  she said that, ‘I realised I loved women when I was a teenager, but I never quite knew if my attraction for men was real or a social construct I took in as a facet of my identity.’

The Lesbian Masterdoc’s primary focus is the social and internal obstacles known as compulsory heterosexuality and heteronormativity and the internalized homophobia that comes with that. It looks at how people struggled with their feelings because they thought being straight is how they were *supposed* to feel not how they actually felt.  Luiz says ‘Compulsory Heterosexuality is the voice in my head that says I must really be het ​even when I’m in love with a woman.​’

And this does not have to be all about love, it can be about who you are attracted to or want to have a sexual engagement with, no matter how deep and intense. Becausee are socialised to believe being straight is the default setting swerving from that even for a second could feel like this big thing, this deep tectonic shift that goes against everything that is holy and natural to human beings. Thus, even something as small as looking at another woman and being like ‘damn, I would love to spend one afternoon pressed against that body’ suddenly feeling like this HUGE diversion from ‘the norm’ and what is natural.

The idea of comphet is harmful, it isn’t hard to see why. By automatically thinking that everyone is cis het and straight then queer, trans and other bodies are erased and marginalised and automatically othered.  You are automatically going against society, nature, the natural order of things and are there for ‘deviant’, and with deviancy comes discrimination and sometimes even violence.

Not only that but damn does it make dating *even* harder cause now we all outchea thinking everyone is trying to be heterosexual. And then how do you find someone to sit on your face on a Friday night?

One Cosmo article quotes the awesome co-hosts of Inner Hoe Uprising, Sam Riddle saying that ‘although compulsory heterosexuality can be overt—like a massage parlour using the term “couples massages” as meaning a massage for a man and a woman … it’s often more subtle and insidious.’

“Compulsory heterosexuality is the societal nudge that pushes folks into opting into heterosexual relationships regardless of whether or not they truly desire to do so,” Riddle says.

And it’s not just the queers, comphet has us all by the balls/labia being heterosexual comes with SO MANY rules. CompHet prescribes a whole bunch of things, even to the straights.  The idea of compulsory heterosexuality is not simply for queer folx discovering their sexuality but for all folx to sit and truly unpack their identity. Download some programs and apps and not simply just use the default settings. What does your straightness look like?

An article by Maggie Zhou in Refinery29 says that ‘a part of figuring out who you are and what your sexuality is is taking steps to unlearn certain truths from your life.’

Sexuality is so broad and more and more people are beginning to see that although they may not be the lesbian waving a flag at Pride month they might not be completely straight either. With sexuality falling on a spectrum there are so many ways to create and come into, from being strictly dickly to sometimes being romantically attracted to people of the same sex or gender, to only wanting to sleep with a beautiful non-binary pansexual on Thursday nights.

We need to genuinely unpack our romantic and sexual attractions on the spectrum they lay on, sometimes they could match, sometimes they might not.  It really is for the best to unpack the ideas we have around our sex and sexuality, not simply accept what we have around us, and this goes for queer and non-queer folx. How are you sitting in your sex, your love, your attraction and your engagements.

Don’t just accept the default settings, download the apps, filters, widgets and wallpapers that you want to make life lovely.  

Articles:

So are You Straight or Nah?: Understanding Heteronormativity – HOLAAfrica

Are You Straight Or Is It Just ‘Compulsory Heterosexuality’? – Refinery29

Am I A Lesbian? The Lesbian Masterdoc Is a Popular Source of Answers To This Elusive Question – Autostraddle

Compulsory Heterosexuality: What to Know About the Term “Comphet” You’ve Seen on TikTok – Cosmopolitan

What Is Compulsory Heterosexuality? – ThoughtCo

Check out the Basically…Life Podcast (on all platforms) and our YouTube series We Are F**kin Here for other vibes that show how queers are living, lovin’ and f*ckin.

For more info about all things gender and sexuality download our Touch Manual which has a bunch of info about dating, sexuality, gender, sex and much more!

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