For Just a Moment I'm Whole Again
Request: anon—ghost!Reader falls in love with Colby
Summary: ghost!Reader finds out that her twin flame is Colby who was born decades after she died, and upon meeting him for the first time, she needs his help to usher her on to the afterlife to be free from the purgatory she roams.
Warnings: ghost!Reader x Colby smut, Age Gap, Bittersweetness, light Angst, Fluff, and Twin Flame relationship
Words: 6.6k
No Y/N Use
Title from 'Calcutta' by Sleep Token
A/N: Technically, Reader is 19 while Colby is 27, however she died nearly thirty years before he was born, so who's older?
I stopped crying about it a few years ago.
Maybe a decade or two, I wasn’t quite sure. It’s not that I was upset about how I died, I almost forgot the pain of it all, I was upset because out of everywhere I could have died, it was in a house.
A lonely house.
After I died, apparently my friends were too traumatized to keep the house, so they sold it. I tried to get their attention. Everyday I tried to convince them that purgatory was real and they forced me into it by leaving. What was I supposed to do alone in a house that no one wanted to buy because a death occurred?
When I found out that they also rumored to their realtor that it was haunted, I wanted to slap the lives out of them. Of course it was haunted; that was your best friend trying to get you to look at me for once before I could never see you again—
I cried for years.
No one bought the house.
I slept in the king sized bed in the room upstairs alone and cold.
There was a hotspot in the middle of the house.
The house was built upon a particular mineral that ushered in traveling ghosts, and the convenient vortex in the center of it aided their arrival. Occasionally I met other ghosts and other inhuman beings that couldn’t care less about me. They probably had millennia of experience navigating the afterlife’s purgatory on earth while I was only a couple decades old.
I think I died in 1971. I couldn’t remember.
The day this house was bought, I thought I was saved.
Instead, major renovations took place. They ripped the nostalgic wallpapers off the walls and tore out the carpets that my human and ghostly feet were all too familiar with.
”How about you chose an actually appealing pint this time, motherfucker,” I spat at the contractor who walked right through me in the main hallway upstairs. I rolled my eyes and followed him into the primary suite.
Today was the day they renovated my bedroom.
”I wonder how many years it’s been; you look fucking weird. Do all men have that silly ass haircut or something now?” I asked as I sat on top of the ladder in the middle of the room. “Thanks so much for bringing your tool batteries in here. You don’t need those do you?” I felt their powerful buzzing. I felt the electricity waving through the room and I sucked it all up.
With every minute that passed, I felt stronger and stronger, until.
”Oops—“ I sighed in boredom as I knocked a paint can off the top of the ladder.
The worker whirled around with wide eyes and basically looked at me in mine, but he saw through me. I rolled my eyes again.
“You humans are all the fucking same. God, I was so damn embarrassing as a human. Can’t you at least try to talk to me? I’m so fucking—“
His co-worker called his name and walked in the room.
”What the fuck have you done?” The second shouted. White paint pooled on the concrete below me.
”At least you didn’t put floor in yet—“
”It just-It just fell! I didn’t even touch it! I put it up there like 20 minutes ago and-and it just fell!” The second worker grumbled and picked up the emptying can.
”They said there was some poltergeist activity in this house which is why it took fucking 50 years for it to be sold again.”
50 years?
My lack of heart nearly fell through the floor.
I sat on the ladder looking through them this time. 50 years? I was stuck here for 50 years with nothing to do? No one to talk to? I wanted to cry. Ghost cry sessions weren’t as satisfying as human cry sessions.
I had to get out of here.
I had to—
I stole the energy from all their equipment, but it was still not enough. Even with the electromagnetic energy pulsing through my spirit, the hotspot wouldn’t take me.
“Come on,” I grumbled. I looked through the vortex and saw spirals and spirals of unveiled spirits traveled through this purgatory called earth, and yet none would grab on to me. What was beyond? “Please! Take me! Get me out of here!”
I broke down crying again.
This was the biggest chance I had in order to leave and not even it was enough.
I curled up in the middle of the floor there and cried until I fell asleep.
Later, when the sun was high in the sky and the house was vacant, I woke up.
As I stood, I appeared in the master bedroom so I could sleep in the bed—
“What the fuck?” I asked to nothing.
The walls were white, the flooring was finished with deep warm floorboards, and the bed frame was a plush cream color with a creamy duvet.
“They did this fast. I wonder how long I was asleep for.” There was a dresser, two nightstands, and a desk that all matched in a deep brown, practically black, wood finish. “We go 50 years in the future just to be completely devoid of all color. Jesus fuck.” I curled up in the bed regardless. “Oh my god,” I moaned loudly. “Actually, I take all that back. I will give up any color in my life to feel this mattress if only for a second. This is how technology should be used, oh my god…”
I don’t remember finishing my sentence, I fell unconscious again.
I woke up to the sound of voices.
I shot to the foyer in a blink of an eye and I saw a family. A mom, a dad, three kids, and a dog, and I nearly cried on sight.
”Hello! Oh my god, yes thank everything good and mighty. You bought this house? I’m not alone anymore!” The dad walked through me. “I’m so excited—Oh my god your dog is so cute!” I fell to my knees in front of the Husky and it howled a talking fit at me, and when I raised my hand to pet it, it ran away from me so fast that it slid across the floor on its nails. “I’m not that scary, I don’t think,” I sighed and stood up again.
There was a girl, probably fifteen or sixteen, who walked right past me with something in her hands.
”Oh what’s that?” I asked as I followed her. The rectangle in her hand illuminated back at her like a TV screen and her thumbs furiously typed on some kind of keyless keyboard. “Holy shit! Is that one of those phones that all the futuristic movies talked about? We have them in the real world now?” I nearly screamed. I plopped into a vacant barstool next to her. “I would have loved that,” I grumbled. I devised a plan to steal it from her in her sleep and play with it all night.
I watched as she turned it on again.
”A passcode?” I questioned and I was ready to memorize it, but suddenly a blue light scanned down her face and it unlocked by itself. “Now that’s—“ I got out of my seat and backed up from her. “That’s weird. Can that detect ghosts?”
“Come on! Let’s go in the pool!” I gasped when the younger boy ran right through me and out the backdoor. I smiled when he cannon balled in the pool out back.
“Lukas! It is 40 degrees outside, get your ass in the house now!” His mother screamed, and I laughed.
“Oh yeah, they put so many cool pool toys in the chest out there,” I told him as I stepped foot outside. “You would love them in the summer though. It’s pretty cold—“
I must have walked too far out of the house, because in a blink of an eye, I teleported back in the middle of the vortex.
”God help me,” I sighed, and I started to devise my game plan to get into that girl’s device in the night.
It wasn’t easy.
The moon was high in the sky, and I walked in the girl’s bedroom cautiously. Not like she could see me, but I could make noises and I didn’t want to scare her.
Her phone lay on the table next to her bed with a cord coming from it, and she slept soundlessly next to it. I picked it up.
It illuminated to life and I gasped. I read the time and date.
2:35am, December 20, 2021
”Oh.. my god…” I whispered slowly.
2021? That wasn’t a real year. It had been 50 years that I was—
How was I going to get out of here? I needed out. First I needed this girl’s device. I grabbed it, and when it scanned my face, it said it was the incorrect Face ID.
I pointed it at the girl cautiously, and after a few recalculating aims, it unlocked. I brought it back to me and saw so many colors I didn’t know which to tap first. The entire screen responded to my touch.
I flicked through the squares on the screen and with each one, I read more and more paragraphs about people. It looked like the news or something. I couldn’t believe how amazing this device was at taking photos.
“I don’t understand,” I whispered. The squares where it seemed like I could communicate with other people intimidated me; I didn't understand who I was talking to so I tried to get out of it and go back to the original place where all the squares were. I accidentally swiped and it moved the screen and I tapped out of it. That was how you got out of it, got it.
I found another app that was red. I clicked it. This time photos with short captions were the only things I scrolled through. After a second, I clicked one to make it larger, but instead, it brought me to another screen and a video began playing.
The audio was so loud and clear, I gasped and tried to figure out how to silence it. The girl disturbed next to me. The button I clicked turned the volume down.
A video played of the same photo I clicked on—
Those weren’t photos, they must have been paused videos or something. I watched and listened and it was actually entertaining. After the video ended, I clicked another.
And then another.
And before I knew it, the sun peeked over the horizon. The time read 7:30am. I had been watching these videos for five hours.
I put the phone down and walked out of the room.
I would have loved 2021.
I did it again the next night.
I sat there on the floor against the nightstand and watched more videos.
Video after video, I started to remember the names of the people who posted them. I didn’t remember the rabbit trail I went down; recommended video after recommended video led me to one that made me stop my jumping around.
It was a video of two idiotic boys messing around in a haunted house.
Now, I never was into haunted or spooky things when I was alive, and being dead now, I would say that I had a pretty large say in and experience in what these boneheads talked about.
I didn’t expect them to be so respectful. And considerate, too.
I watched as they talked to spirits in the house, and it was startling to watch humans interact with us spirits from their perspective. I forgot that that was all they saw.
I forgot how limited I was when I was trapped in my human skin.
How silly they were; it didn’t matter that they would have been seven years older than I was. Most of the people were children on YouTube, and they were the worst of them.
Sam and Colby certainly made me laugh, and their means of communicating with ghosts even more so.
There were some videos that scared me.
I liked the two a lot, and I didn’t want them to get hurt or manipulated by demonic forces. I had seen demonic forces firsthand, and humans were stupid enough to summon them. If I was afraid of them, humans definitely should have been.
The way they assumed everything was as sinister as they did made me laugh the most because the majority of spirits communicated with them were teasing them and cracking jokes. The boys took everything too seriously, but that was why they were so good.
They cared.
But one of them, Colby, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of. It was like I knew him. Warmth spread through me, and for the first time since I died, I was overcome with the need to leave. The pull teased me, beckoned me.
I was over forty years older than him; I would have never met him, so how did I know him?
Why did I need him?
I needed someone who cared about me like they did for spirits. I needed a human who cared to come in and help me. Certainly there were other humans out there who could help me like Sam and Colby, but they definitely weren’t as loud or had as much faith as they did in their capabilities.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t cry when that family left the house two days later. It wasn’t because I would be lonely again but because I couldn’t drown myself in Sam and Colby’s videos.
Or in Colby’s appearance and voice.
Hopefully someone else would stay for a week and I could use their phones to watch YouTube again.
Two weeks later, the house was booked again.
I finally learned that the house I was trapped in was turned into something called an AirBnb and I supposed that it was a house rented like a hotel.
The same routine spun into effect.
A new visitor spent the week here, I drained their batteries in everything they brought, I drowned myself in YouTube (to be honest, I drowned myself in the force that was Colby’s voice), and spent endless time spinning around the house in boredom wondering when the human chosen to save me would come.
They would come and help one day, I knew it.
The front door opened.
I was out of the bed in a flash and appeared in the foyer to see the new visitors. Two men walked in the house, and I wondered what on earth they were up to for arriving near two in the morning.
It was three years after I first learned what YouTube and social media was. I was ingrained in the politics, culture, society, and hyper-communicative world that was 2024.
I toed the fence. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to stay here and live as a free spirit in 2024 forever or be taken into the next spiritual realm. I knew I couldn’t stay forever, and with every year that passed, I felt the fabrics of my spirit being taken away into nothing.
I needed help.
When I came spirit to face with the two new visiting men, my entire world flipped upside down.
I knew them.
They were the ones with the YouTube channel.
They were—
”I know we said we would do some stuff before we go to sleep, but I literally—“
”No, I know,” the other sighed. “I’m so tired too. We got here a lot later than we planned.”
”We should just sleep then wake up a bit earlier than we planned to have more time to do what we couldn’t now.” The other nodded lazily.
”Yeah, we can do that.”
”Night, Colby,” said the blond one as he walked up the stairs.
”Night, Sam,” said the one I stood next to in between the foyer and the living room.
If I had a heart, it would have pumped loudly in my ears, and if I had a tongue, it would have dried up. Ever so slowly, I turned and looked at Colby as he pulled things from the backpack he had placed on the couch. His back faced me.
And I couldn’t control myself, the intrusive thoughts won. I wondered what he would do if I—
At the sound of his water bottle crashing into the hardwood floor, Colby whirled around with wide eyes and watched as it rolled to a stop.
“What the fuck?” He whispered. I gasped when he walked through me. I turned and watched as he picked it up and placed it back on the table. He watched it.
With a smile, I didn’t take my gaze off his face as I knocked it back onto the floor. He took two steps back.
That was when the realization dawned on me. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. When I felt him, when I was near him, it made sense. The pieces shoved together painfully.
“Uh… Sam?” Colby called.
“What?” He called cautiously as he came from his room. “What’s wrong?”
”I—I swear to god, this water bottle fell off the table deliberately. Like someone knocked it over, twice.”
”Really?” He asked hesitantly when his feet hit his floor. At this point, they both stood in front of me and I crossed my arms in boredom. I was nearly as tall as the two; they were a lot smaller in person.
I was tall for a girl; almost five foot nine.
He placed the water bottle back down.
I stared at it. Humans were so dumb. I watched their anticipation knowing full well I wouldn’t satisfy them.
“What is happening, I swore it happened and it’s not now which means it’s not like the table is slanted or something.”
”That’s weird,” Sam said.
“You can go back to bed, sorry—“
”No, you’re fine, stupid,” Sam laughed as he went back.
Of course when he was halfway up the stairs with his back turned I yanked it off the table. Colby already left to the couch though, and so when Sam turned around quickly, he froze when he realized Colby was completely out of reach.
”See? I told you!” Colby cried.
”Oh shit… Yeah I have no idea how to explain that.”
”Wanna get a rem pod and the camera or something?” Colby asked.
“Maybe if something else happens.”
”Okay, okay,” Colby said, and I watched in surprise when Sam walked back to his room. They must have been tired then.
That didn’t mean I couldn’t mess with Colby until he went to sleep.
”You guys are idiots,” I said as if I expected a response. “Are you actually staying up or are you—oh,” I gasped when he turned around and walked through me before I could react. He picked up his bag and walked up the stairs. I sighed.
“That answers that.”
I peeked around the door. Colby stood in his room. I watched as he situated the things from his backpack. Those were some fancy cameras, small ones for that matter, and it looked like he charged the batteries. My eyes couldn’t pull from his skin though. He only wore his black jeans.
He turned towards me and I watched as he walked to the desk in his room. I intently focused on his face and his tattoos. He was so pretty. But he looked so different. I walked into the room and stood at the desk with him.
”What are these?” I asked and I touched the devices on the desk. Then, I gasped as his hand went through mine. My hand paused and I tried to feel the warmth. What would have been my hand burned with warmth, and I didn’t pull it away.
Colby froze in his place and stared at his hand. It burned cold.
But then he turned from the table and went back to the bed.
Now, never once in my life have I snooped. I’ve never pried, intruded, or watched anyone when they didn’t think they could be perceived. But I couldn’t leave his room. I froze in my place as I watched when he pulled his pants off. I couldn’t focus on anything else except his body. The way he moved, settled in the room, got in the bed, and plugged his phone in; every decision and every thought process was so painfully human.
I liked him a lot. Too much.
I wanted him to know I was here too.
The last time I tried to communicate with humans was with my best friends after the accident happened. After, their realtor was a bitch. There was a medium who was more so a dumbass who came to communicate with me. I scared her, and perhaps that went wrong. That might have been why it took so long for this place to be renovated.
I needed to talk to Colby. I wanted him.
I never wanted anyone as badly as I wanted him.
I stood in front of the desk where the devices were strewn about, and as he read his phone, I touched one of the devices.
I recognized one. It was a radio of sorts. One of the mediums who tried to communicate with me used it. Perhaps they were here to try to talk to me anyway.
I turned the spirit box on.
Immediately, Colby sat straight up in his bed. His phone was forgotten on the sheets. I laughed and watched as his confused eyes scanned the room.
”Hello,” I laughed. Then I used energy and found the word on a channel—
Hello
Colby looked around the room.
”Um, hi?” He said.
If I had a body, I was pretty sure the feeling I had was akin to my heart falling out of my ass.
“I know who you are, you publish on YouTube, right?”
I know you
Colby’s face turned with distrust.
“What—Are there actually spirits in this house?” He asked. I rolled my eyes.
”Obviously. You’re so dumb. I thought you know how to talk to us—
Duh…
He scoffed and his shock turned into an amused expression.
”What’s your na—“
Don’t be stupid
He stopped talking and his eyes widened.
”How do you know me? I’ve never been here.”
”You literally have 11 million people watching you on YouTube, don’t be silly,” I sighed.
You make videos
”You’re seen my—“ He gasped and thought for a moment. “How old are you? How long have you been here?”
For a long time
”I’m supposed to be nineteen,” I sighed.
Nineteen
”Nineteen—Holy shit wait, someone—the owners said a nineteen year old died here in the 70s—“
”That was totally me.”
Me
Colby looked at the spirit box on the table and I smiled.
“Yeah,” he gasped nervously. “Are you the only spirit in the house?”
”Only one that lives here, anyway,” I scoffed.
Only one
”I’m sorry you’re alone.” I froze.
“What did you say?” I asked quietly, timidly. Silence. It defeated me.
It had been over 50 years since the accident and in all that time, no one apologized.
No one said sorry about my death or that I was alone. Not a single person had the empathy. Colby stared back at the spirit box. His eyes fell from it. He looked around the room in thought.
Suddenly, the urge ever too heavy came over me.
I glided straight over to him and I sat on the bed.
He shot up with his eyes wide.
If I had eyes, he would have looked right into them.
”Are-Are you on the bed with me?”
”Yes,” I confidently said and tried to use all my energy to tell the spirit box—
Yes… On this bed…
”Holy shit,” Colby whispered.
I felt the way his heart skipped.
The way his skin lit on fire.
I moved forward, and when I did, his skin fell cold.
”Did-Did you just touch me?”
“I’m on top of you.”
And it was true. I straddled him. I held his face in my lack of hands, and the warmth coursed through me like an electrical current. I needed him. He tethered me back into reality; the human world. That urge and that desperation to move onto the spirit realm died the moment I touched him.
Top
”You’re on me?” He rested his weight on his hands behind him. When he pushed his hips forward, a gasp left me because I felt the pressure.
Familiarity.
“I remember you, Colby. I know you, we knew each other—‘
Colby
”Why did you say my—“
I know you
“You know—oh shit,” he gasped. My vision hazed. My perception of my surroundings grew blurry as if I was about to sleep.
Heat coursed my body, and I held onto him to keep from falling asleep.
”You feel really good,” I gasped. I didn’t think about this.
We knew each other
“What?” He gasped as his body went rigid. Sexual things were so far from me. I figured that when I moved onto the spirit realm, more doors to explore sexuality would open. I never came across another human I viewed as desirable like him.
I never came across a human or spirit that felt as familiar as he was.
I knew he already had two female ghosts who liked him and messed around with him.
Good
”What’s good?” He gasped again. This time, it sounded like he was more breathless than anything.
”You.”
You
”Is that you making me feel like this? Are you touching me?” I moaned when I thrusted against him over and over. “Holy fuck—I just got so… What am I even doing?” Colby sighed more so to himself and then he laid himself back down against the bed. I gasped when he moved through me.
I looked down at him as his forearm rested across his forehead. His face was flushed and eyes were closed in thought.
I couldn’t deny the pressure under me. I knew he was painfully hard under me, but I had no intention of leaving or letting him do it himself. I looked down and couldn’t look away from his body. It was on fire, and the pressure in his underwear grew and grew.
I wish I could feel him for real with my hands and my skin.
“Holy fuck,” he moaned this time, and I moaned as well. He sounded so good like this. “I feel so crazy. Please tell me this is you doing this to me and not me—“
”I’m doing it. I’m touching you, Colby. Let me touch you.” Colby moaned again and again as I thrusted against him.
It’s me
His eyes shot open again.
Let me touch you
“Fuck, okay—holy shit—okay you’re-you’re actually real.”
”Yes,” I laughed. “I want to see you feel good.”
“If you’re actually real, get off of me and make me stop feeling like this—“
I was on the other side of the room in an instant. Colby sat up with a flushed face.
“What the fuck,” he whispered. I felt as the arousal in his body diminished. “And…” He mumbled hesitantly. “And if you’re real, get on top of me. Turn me on again.”
I blinked and I straddled Colby’s lap.
“Holy fucking—ugh.” And his head tossed into the pillow and eyes rolled back.
”Fuck,” I gasped as I watched him throw his arm across his mouth to conceal his moans.
Immediately, his arousal built again, and I thrusted against him over and over.
”You’re making me—Oh my god, don’t stop please,” Colby gasped.
You feel good
”Fuck,” he gasped.
He looked up at me and I swore he saw me. He didn't look through me, and I wished I could touch him.
Kiss him.
”You’re going to make me come.”
“Oh my god yeah, I want to see you come,” I mumbled. I would resurrect myself from the dead just to kill myself again if he knew I said that so I tried to hold in the energy. I didn’t want the music box to pick up on anything.
I tried to pull his underwear down. It was too difficult, too heavy. I was too tired. My gaze flashed around the room.
His phone.
I focused my energy on his phone and took the energy from it. The strength boiled and boiled in my being until I opened my eyes and watched as the waistband of it ever so slightly pulled back.
”Oh my fucking god—“ Colby gasped, and I cried out in surprise when he sat up straight and kicked himself away from me. “You-You fucking pulled—Are you trying to take my underwear off? Oh my god—You’re fucking real. You really are—“
“Colby it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you I want to make you feel good—“
Don’t be scared
”What?” He gasped and whirled his gaze to the spirit box.
Make you feel good
“I’m—“ he paused. He looked around the room. “I’m not scared. I can’t believe you’re communicating so well with me.”
”I’m taking power from your phone,” I said towards the spirit box.
This cell phone
Colby looked back to the spirit box.
”My phone?”
Using energy
”Oh, you’re taking the energy from my phone? Let me plug it in so you can take as much as you want—“
Yes
”Okay—“ He groaned as he leaned over and plugged it in. He left it on the table next to the bed. I didn’t give him another second to say a sentence. I pushed down against him and he drew in an uneven breath. “I can’t believe I can feel you.”
”Can you feel this?” I grinded down on him, and his arm caught another moan behind his mouth.
“Holy shit—I think I felt-I felt that. I’m so—oh my god!” I pulled at his underwear again, and this time, I pulled it halfway down. “I’m so…” He sighed into a moan, and I felt the way heat traveled down his body. His temperature rose, and I couldn’t look away. Not a second passed that I didn’t utterly consume the image of his real life human body under me.
I pushed again and again, and before his hand could reach into his underwear, he gasped a rather louder moan and spilled in the fabric.
I quickly tried to pull it back again, and this time, his underwear pulled halfway off.
“Oh my god—“ I gasped as I watched the rest of his fluids cover his stomach.
”You just fucking—You actually took them off,” he gasped breathlessly as he gathered himself together after his orgasm.
Pleasure washed through me as well, but it wasn’t as tangible as it used to be when I was alive. I was on fire, and I wanted more, anything more, but it was impossible here.
Then the tug.
I wanted to move on.
It was as if this window of pleasure piqued my interest, and I knew that if I moved onto the spiritual realm, I could live again. I wouldn’t be trapped in this purgatory.
Colby was so cute though. He was familiar; he looked like he was mine. We were each other’s. I wanted him to myself, but there was no way I could take him with me. He needed to finish living as a human first.
Then maybe I would hunt him down and rescue him from his purgatory so he wouldn’t have to live like this for 50 years like me.
“Did you leave?” Colby whispered.
”No. I’m right here.”
Here
“Okay,” he sighed and relaxed into the pillow. “I can’t believe I just had sex with a ghost—wait,” he gasped and looked around the room. “Did I fuck you? That’s so—What the fuck…”
“No, I just touched you. I wanted you to feel good. I can’t feel good until I move on.”
No… For you… I don’t feel good
”What?” Colby gasped. “You don’t feel good?”
”I can’t.”
Can’t
”Oh, because… Is sex only for human bodies then?”
”No,” I said, and reminded myself to be concise for the spirit box
No
”When I escape I can feel something again.”
When I escape
”You’re trapped here?” Colby gasped. The gears turned in his head and excitement welled in me.
”Help me out, please.”
Help me
”Help you do what? Do you need to move on?”
”Yes! Help me to the spiritual world.”
Yes
”Where do you need me to—”
Spirit world
”Holy shit,” Colby whispered. “You want me to help move you out of purgatory? Is that what this house is for you?’
”Yes!” I exclaimed.
He understood!
Yes
”Well then I’m getting up and telling Sam.”
If I had a body, I would scream and cry for joy.
Also, if I had a body, it would burn alive at the sight of Colby cleaning himself up, so I left the room and waited in the hallway with welling excitement.
“You’ll actually use the spirit box and not make me look like a freak in front of him, right?”
”Yeah, I’ll talk to him,” I laughed.
Yes
”Good,” he scoffed as he pulled on clothes.
“I promise.”
”Dude, that’s crazy if it’s true.” I watched as Colby told Sam what had happened and conveniently left out the part where I touched him. If he didn’t want Sam to know, then I wouldn’t expose him in that way. “Let’s see if she actually communicates as accurately as that,” Sam said as he turned on the spirit box. “Would we need to try the Estes?”
”Maybe we can,” Colby sighed. “There was a vortex downstairs, did you see it?”
”No I didn’t actually,” he gasped. “Do you want to do Estes there?”
“I’m getting bored,” I grumbled.
Let’s hurry it up
”Whoa!” Sam cried when the box spat those words out at him.
”Yeah,” Colby laughed. “She isn’t very patient.”
“Are you trapped here like Colby sai—“
”Yes!”
Yes
”Oh my god.”
”I told you!” I watched the boys as they grabbed their things. “Let's do it now.”
And as they walked through me towards the staircase, I froze with realization upon feeling Colby's body. It ached with excitement, nervousness, and…
Longing?
I followed them and listened to his heart and the rushing of his blood. Something tuned to desperation flowed with it.
It would have been much easier for me to navigate life as a human if I could feel someone’s physical attraction to me like I could feel Colby’s. I didn’t think that was possible, especially since he couldn’t see me. For all I knew, they could still be on the fence about believing that I existed.
But I couldn’t deny the way he felt. The way Sam felt. Sam didn’t hear me or feel me the way Colby did, but I could tell by the warmth of his palms and the racing of his heart that he didn’t linger in denial anymore.
“I’m not even sure how to start this,” Sam said as he sat in the chair. He volunteered himself to be under the Estes method so that Colby could lead the interaction. I stood next to Sam in the middle of the vortex; the darkened mirrors holding endless hypnotizing space hung on either side of us.
“I know, it’s fine. I’ll figure it out when we get there. I’m pretty sure I just encourage her to move on and she uses energy or something. We’ll see.”
Sam pulled the blindfold down. Headphones placed over his ears.
I felt the energy from the spirit box shrill to life.
“Did you follow us down here?”
“Yes,” I said quickly. “I’m here.”
“Here,” Sam’s monotone voice spoke for me.
“Okay good.” Colby’s voice softened. I wanted to leave, I wanted it more than anything, but I also wished I had more time to listen to Colby, to be close to him. Every time I was near him, I zapped with electricity; a desperation I never knew. What would it be like if I was human? If we knew each other back then? What would it be like if we were born at the same time in the same state?
“Why are you afraid to move on?”
“I—All this time I wasn’t afraid, I just didn’t want to leave the human world, but now I can’t leave you. I want to stay with you, Colby.”
“Oh wow…” Sam muttered.
“What?” Colby said quickly.
“That was a long—Those were a lot of words,” he laughed sheepishly. “Um…” I repeated what I said but paraphrased it to make it easier for the box to pick me up. “I wasn’t afraid of it.”
“You aren’t?” Colby gasped. “Why haven’t you—”
“Missed people.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Let me stay with you.”
“What?” Colby paused this time. “So you didn’t move on because you missed people and now you want to stay with us? Is it because you haven’t talked to anyone except for us—”
“No,” I grumbled. “I want you, Colby. No one else.”
“You, Colby.”
“Me?” He whispered. “Why do you want to stay with me? You can’t do that. You need to move on–”
“I wish we had time together then you would understand.” I wished that I could cry like humans did at that moment. I cried, but no pressure relieved me.
“We could have had more time.” Colby’s body froze as he stared in shock at Sam. Or maybe he stared through him. He wanted something to look at; he couldn’t see me. I wished I could reveal myself to him, but I didn’t know how.
“Why do you want us to have more time?”
“Because we would have been together. I could have actually probably loved you.”
“I would have…. I didn’t catch— Love you.”
“I would have loved you…” Colby whispered. “It’s too late,” he told me, but the quietness of his voice sounded like he figured it out for himself.
“I can see you again, Colby.”
“See you again… Colby, dude it keeps saying your name.”
“I know,” Colby spoke absentmindedly. He looked like he was in a trance more than Sam was even though he rocked back and forth in the Estes method. “Are—Do you know me?”
“Maybe in a past life. We can find each other in the next.”
“Past life.”
“Holy shit.” His voice was quiet and I wanted nothing more than to hug him. I stood face to face with him in the blink of an eye.
“I will see you soon, Colby.”
And I kissed him.
He blinked quickly and warm surprise flooded me when he licked his lips once.
“See you soon.” He didn't know what to say. I felt the tension in his throat.
“Don’t cry. Now tell me to leave and then you can find me when you’re done living here.”
“Help me leave.” Colby shook his head.
“No–”
“Please help me, Colby. I need to go on. You can’t stay here forever. I’ll be able to see you still and you’ll be able to feel me until one day you’ll see me for the first time. Well, for the first time in this timeline. Isn’t that exciting?”
“Please help me… You will still… I didn’t hear—Oh, You’ll still feel me.”
“I—I don’t like—”
“It’s okay, don’t be scared.” I stood in the vortex again. “Help me leave. I’ll see you later.”
“Don’t be scared. Help me leave.”
“Okay,” Colby said as he shook himself out of it. “It’s alright, you can move on. Spirits leave this house, move on to the next life.”
That tug returned, but now it was unavoidable. The mirrors lulled me into a beckoning trance.
“Move on and be free from this house.”
The mirror pulled me in, the house was unreachable now.
“Love you.”
As Sam pulled off the blindfold, Colby’s eyes darted towards mine from where I traveled through the mirror, and from the look on his face—the pure focus on me, drift of his tear filled eyes across my face—he saw me.
Then all I saw was light.
A/N: I took a much needed break. Not to info or trauma dump, but my mom moved about four hours away from me a week ago, and I only found out three weeks before that. After helping her move, it's been pretty hard for me since we've only ever lived at most 10 minutes from each other. Thanks for being patient, and I'm going to hop back on that writing grind because I miss it!
Also, Comment if you would rather read multi-chapter fics on Tumblr or Ao3. This will help me navigate where to post if I do not cross post.
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