#coolest guy in the afterlife

[nickyroethemarinebiologist]

Humphrey Bone, light of my life

#love/hate relationship with his outfit because it is so hard to draw but also. god it looks so cool #his drip was too good they had to take his head off #coolest guy in the afterlife #he has “gives good hugs” vibes #but if you hugged him his head would probably roll off #so. #I’d take the risk tho. again the outfit looks so cool but ALSO it seems very warm. and huggable #do you understand #humphrey in general seems very huggable #i love and miss him #silliest guy around #art tag #bbc ghosts #ghosts #bbc ghosts humphrey #tiny guys

[teecupangel]

I've been reading the repost that has "my guy is an Assassin with morales and sick bartending skills" in it and the misspell... that could be fun: Desmond + Morales as a pair of dimension/time-travelers

plus: "I'm Desmond Miles." "Like in Assassin's Creed Desmond Miles?" "... Exactly. Why do you look like a Marvel character?" "Like a what?" (or better yet: Desmond operating with the assumption that Miles is just a VERY dedicated fan for an embarrassing length of time)

The post by @auroramoon-draws16 that is referenced in this ask.

So we’re going with the assumption that in AC world, Miles Morales is a comicbook character while in Earth-1610B, Assassin’s Creed is a video game franchise. This would work because Miles’ first debut was in 2011 so, yeah, this would definitely work.

Also, this can be part of the Spiderverse has access to the Crossover Bar AU idea but Desmond and Miles met in Miles’ universe. The bar just appeared near Miles’ school so he checked it out as Spider-Man because, well, he doesn’t remember it being there before. Desmond immediately knew that Miles is underage (Eagle Senses pinging) and that draws Miles in because Desmond treats him like a normal kid even though he’s Spider-Man and gives him Shirley Temples (“What about the Shirley Templar?” “When you’re older, kid.”)

On Desmond’s side, he just thought this would be one of the chillest crossovers. Maybe this world was connected to that wackey but still ‘normal’ world of a community college and one of them did wear a Spider-Man costume (it was pajamas but Desmond wasn’t going to judge) once so, like, yeah, Desmond assumes this is another world that has Spider-Man as a comic book character.

And he’s like “oh, this dude’s pretty normal and his cosplay is reaaaaallly good” while Miles think Desmond is just the chillest (coolest) adult.

The day Desmond learned that Miles isn’t cosplaying but is an actual real Spider-Man?

When he went to his bar, breathing heavily, looking tired and battered, and asking for his help. He just needs a place to hide for a bit, he promises he won’t cause any tro-

CRASH!

Then other Spider variants crashed in his bar and…

Oh.

Well…

Desmond guessed it was time he fought superheroes…

Seriously, this afterlife was weird…

#desmond going papa bear on miles #desmond and miles bonding #and desmond might see the ghosts of petruccio and sef in miles #so yeah #desmond will definitely protect miles even if he doesn’t know the full story #desmond is gonna kick spider variants ass by sheer will and the skills of three master assassins and one grand master #all four play dirty in their own way and very resourceful #plus the stage is the crossover bar so desmond as location advantage #ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #miles morales #across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #across the spider verse spoilers #fic idea: assassin's creed #teecup writes/has a plot

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Headcanons for Stranger things Eddie being Friends with a Friendly Ghost Child yn please? They look up at him and likes to make cool things for him? Like imagine in a dnd session where there’s a cold windy night as a scenario,they make the air go chilly and make strong wind noises,they would scare others away if they’re beingrude to Eddie’s ((maybe even saving him?? ))

Aw I love this idea!! Let's say Ghost!Y/N’s around 10-11 years old

Also these hcs got long so half of them (aka the angstier ones that go into major spoiler territory) are under the cut!

........

The memories of your death remained fuzzy; not even the wounds on your ghostly form could help you recall what exactly happened the day you perished.

Not only that, but you were stuck in the living world for some reason...

Yet you didn’t despair over this. In fact, you stayed hopeful and optimistic. Even if you couldn’t move on, you wanted to at least find some new purpose in your afterlife.

So you explored Hawkins, which led you to the highschool where you noticed cliques of science nerds, band geeks, preps, and athletes in the lunchroom. It made you wonder where you’d fit in if you were still alive, but you weren’t exactly sure...

Then you hear a student’s boisterous voice taking jabs at the groups, proclaiming that “conformity is killing the kids”..or something like that.

You didn’t fully understand what he meant, but when you saw his long hair, rings, and biker jacket, you instantly admired his aesthetic.

He looked like the coolest guy ever standing up on that table, mimicking devil horns when confronted by a jock.

Then you officially crossed paths with him after noticing he dropped a D&D dice as he’s walking down the hall, listening to heavy metal. You happened to love D&D as well and knew it was important that he had it.

“Hey! I think you dropped something.” Forgetting that he probably couldn’t see you, you picked it up and tried getting his attention.

Eddie stops short when he sees you in front of him, removing his headphones with wide eyes.

You’re worried that you scared him, but then he smiles and thanks you, remarking that you seemed way too young to attend highschool right now.

Meanwhile, you’re perplexed that he can actually see and hear you.

He doesn’t realize you’re a ghost until the jock from the cafeteria sees him and scoffs like “Hey, druggie. You talking to air now?”

“No, Carver.” Eddie sneers back. “Don’t you see the kid standing right there?!”

“...what kid?”

Suddenly, he realizes that Jason does not see you at all and he clams up.

The jock continues taunting him until an invisible force knocks the books out of his hands. He freaks out and runs away, before Eddie sees you reappear.

“Why is that guy so mean to--oops, uh..” You feel awkward as he stares at you in shock, worried that he’ll run too. “Hi.”

“H-Hey....so.....you’re a real ghost?”

“Yeah. But it’s weird how only you can see me..”

“Yeah, that’s weird but...pretty cool, I guess. Although this reminds me of a session I made where the party had to defeat evil ghosts who tried turning them against each other through possession.....you’re not evil, are you?” He eyes you suspiciously.

“What? No! Of course not!” You huff. "We're not all evil."

“Then why are you still here among the living?”

“I dunno. I’m still trying to figure that out. But I promise I won’t hurt you.”

Although cautious at first, Eddie quickly became friends with you and invited you to join the Hellfire Club that day, wondering what cool powers you had.

Even you weren’t sure, but you experimented with them and provided his D&D session with an eerie atmosphere for immersion purposes.

Eddie began with “On this cold, windy night..” and you decreased the temperature of the surrounding air and made windy sound effects, blowing out some of the nearby candles and relighting them when appropriate for his story.

This sent shivers down the club members’ spines as they wonder how he’s able to do that. They suspect he hid fans around the place. 

But you and Eddie just grin at each other, finding a way to make this game even better.

Outside of club, you hang out with him at his trailer, listening to him practice a Metallica song on his guitar and brainstorming new ideas for D&D sessions.

You quickly see how harshly he’s treated by other students, including that “Carver” guy who reminded you of bullies from your school, so you’ll harmlessly prank them and send them running scared. You both get a kick out of it.

Unfortunately, these fun times don’t last forever as things start to go wrong in Hawkins.

After Eddie witnesses Chrissy’s death, he panics and avoids you.

But you have no idea what happened or why he’s so terrified of you all of the sudden. You're certain you haven't insulted him in any way..but it took you forever to find him and confront him about this.

“Eddie, what’s wrong? Did I do something?”

“Just don't follow me anymore. Go haunt somebody else!!”

“What? I-I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?? What happened-?”

“CHRISSY IS GONE, [Y/N]!!!” He finally screams. “THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!!”

You flinched as he yelled at you, but you’re horrified at the revelation. “That..nice cheerleader? She’s dead..?”

Part of him feels bad for startling you, but he gets choked up as he accuses you of possessing and killing her, believing you lied to him about never hurting anyone.

With tears in your eyes you try defending yourself. “Eddie, I..I wasn’t anywhere near your trailer that night. I would never do that to anyone!”

“B-But if not you, then who else?!"

“I don’t know! But I swear I didn't do that to her. Please..you have to believe me. Why would I ever break my promise? Why would I want to hurt anyone you cared about?”

Even after Eddie stops running from you, he’s still emotionally distant, which worsens after he’s accused of more murders and thinks making contact with you somehow “cursed” him.

This wasn’t the cool rebellious dungeon master you once looked up to anymore. He became so..withdrawn. Yet you didn’t wanna abandon the only person who could see you. So you never left his side.

Once Dustin and the others find him and explain the Upside Down--he realizes he was wrong about you and apologizes.

Of course you forgive him, knowing he’s just scared and confused.

Though all this talk about the UD leaves you wondering if it had something to do with your inability to move on. Maybe you’ll find answers there and help stop the real monster who was ruining Eddie’s life.

So you venture into the dimension with the group, and its supernatural forces somehow allow everyone to see you. And this leads to a very awkward explanation from Eddie on how you both met. Your injuries carried over, but you reassured them they didn't hurt.

When a demobat spots you, it swoops down to attack--only for it to fly right through you and crash into a wall.

That’s when you realize the monsters can’t harm you, and you use this to your advantage in distracting the swarms of demobats sent by Vecna, especially when they come for Eddie and Dustin.

You choose to stay behind in the UD to keep them away from the portal for as long as possible, snatching the sheet so Eddie can’t chase after you.

Eventually Vecna is seemingly defeated, and Eddie and Dustin return to the dimension, but neither of them can find you anywhere.

Days later, there’s still no sign of you in the real Hawkins, and this leaves Eddie a total wreck as he wonders what happened to you.

Were you corrupted by the UD? Did a monster find a way to harm you? Or did you simply pass on without saying goodbye?

He still had to hide from a town who hated him, and despite having friends who believed him..he's never felt so alone.

You were just a kid. A brave kid who made the ultimate sacrifice for him, a cowardly adult who accused you of murders you weren’t even capable of committing.

It crushed him. He was proud of himself for that concert, for not running from the swarm but facing it.

But he couldn't help you.

He feels like he failed as a shepherd, losing one of his sheep forever.

And he laments over this while taking a smoke break in the woods, the same place where he once connected with Chrissy.

But he becomes frustrated when the lighter’s flame keeps going out, which was a habit of yours to deter him from smoking.

Then...he hears a familiar voice.

“You know that's bad for you."

Eddie turns and gawks as he sees you sitting beside him, in a fully corporeal human body. Your wounds were patched up and your eyes no longer looked lifeless--as if you’ve been reborn.

Apparently the time you’ve spent in the UD allowed you to travel between dimensions, and you found a way to keep the corporeal form you gained there in the real world (although it’s temporary).

You just smiled at your friend once you finished explaining why you were gone for so long. “So I basically leveled-up and gained mastery over-”

Immediately Eddie breaks and hugs you, sobbing with relief and thanking you for all you’ve done for him, apologizing again for how he treated you before.

And again, you forgive him and hug him back, promising you won’t leave.

You ended up finding your new purpose after all:

Eddie was in desperate need of a guardian angel..and you were the perfect candidate.

#clanask #anonymous #stranger things x reader #st4 x reader #eddie munson #child reader #platonic #stranger things spoilers #st4 spoilers #headcanons #ghost reader

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I watched Ghosts Season 3 Episode 2 earlier today!! Some quick thoughts :D

Poor Jay 😭😭💔 he really didn't deserve what he was going through this episode :(( but I'm glad Sass and him are actually gonna be dream friends, it's gonna be great :')). It'll be soo nice for him to actually be able to connect with them a little more :'D. Also it's wild to me to actually realize that he knows what Sass actually looks like now lol. Like I said, wild xD. Anyway, I'm glad everything worked out in the end :'))

SASS'S GHOST POWER IS SO COOL!!?!??! Bro casually hid the coolest ghost power ever for his entire afterlife xD no biggie. Lol, it was really cool to see though! And I'm glad he's hopefully no longer using it for evil lol (most of the time)

Sam was being wild for using Sass's ghost power against Jay xd. I'm glad it was a smaller thing though, and that she learned her lesson. Also Isaac just vibing and following her around all Wednesday was great xD

Speaking of poor Jay, poor Thor 😭. Man was being seduced from all sides and half of them just wanted to be sucked off xdd. It was hilarious though lol xD. And poor Trevor 😭. Man was also going through it. And LOL Alberta not even being phazed by them still being together xD. Barely shocked lol. I am surprised Trevor revealed it so easily though! Anyway, hopefully they're okay xdd. Hetty was on one this episode lol (as she often is though, like they all are, so yk xD). Anyway, I'm glad in the end they did just listen to Thor :'). Poor guy is going through it and I'm glad they're there for him <33.

Also, once again with the poor xD, poor Pete just trying his best to be morally upstanding this episode lol. My guy was doing his darndest, and if it wasn't admirable xd. Good job, Pete, lol, even amongst all the drama xD.

Loved this episode!! I thought it was great, and it was a really fun watch :D. Sasappis's ghost power is SO COOL and I hope we get to see it more in the future :D - for less selfish/manipulative reasons, obviously lol. I also think the way it was done was really cool! Also, it took me a while to realize that it worked because Jay wouldn't/didn't recognize Sasappis lol xD. I think before he said that but I'm not sure lol. Anyway, really enjoyed the episode!!

See you next time for Season 3 Episode 3: He Sees Dead People!!

#that sounds amazing lol #love that title xD #also just read the description as I was looking up the title and YOO 👀 #looks interesting :D #I'll probably forget by the time it airs but eh :D then more surprises for em I guess :)) #anyway lovely!! #ghosts #cbs ghosts #ghosts cbs #oasis's ghosts chatter #cbsghosts #k love y'all :DD #see you later 🥰🥰 #❤️❤️🥰 :DD :)) <333 byee!!!

[imthepunchlord]

As someone who loves animal symbolism, what some of your favorite symbolisms for your favorite animals? Also, what are your own symbolic views on your favorite animals, What do you associate with them?

Definitely the duality in snakes is one, cause when I started doing research in animal symbolism for ML, assumed they were always sinister in symbolism so that was a pleasant surprise to find positive symbolism too.

Bees I also found had a whole lot going on with them, tied to life, the sun, royalty, nature, nurture, spirits, afterlife, community, communication, coordination; these little guys I juts find to be more and more impressive as life goes on. To a point I think they're under utilized in media for heroes, there's a lot you could do with them based off symbolism, mythology, puns, and idioms. I think what took me by surprised the most and was the coolest was learning their ties to spirits and the afterlife (Greeks and Celts). I've also read that China regards bees as examples as the ideal empire as the hive works in union to thrive.

Peacocks were impressive to look into as they have a lot of weight and favoritism in their symbolism, but I also like it's one of the few animals that also has negative symbolism, you don't see that too often (vanity, ego, and pride). It can be beautiful, iconic, and flawed.

Universally, I found all felines and canines are just agreed to be magical/otherworldly and I love that. I discovered to that there's a lot of dogs associated with guarding the underworld in different mythologies, so that's up there with dragon as kinda a universal idea that pops up everywhere, also everyone agreeing foxes are tricksters and magical.

Crows/ravens I always found cool and pretty in their own way, and it's cool to discover they're largely tied to communication and omens.

Now, for what I associated with them pre research, a lot of it echoed with what most people and media echoes.

Snakes are tied to cunning and represent a primal power.

Bees are hard workers and tied to plants.

Peacocks symbols of beauty and vision.

Lions and tigers are brave, regal, and powerful; cats are cunning and mischievous and independent

Dogs loyalty and love, wolves fellowship and family but are also antagonistic, and foxes are just cunning tricksters

Crows and ravens being tied to ill omens and death

#ask Punchie

[manyblinkinglights]

Okay I just dreamed up the coolest afterlife cosmology.

So, there’s the main/dominant afterlife, from and maintained by all the people dying right around now, as well as any other souls who’ve joined it. Beyond its mighty Earth-based borders, though, are all the past and other afterlives that’ve ever been spun off, with their own rules and own denizens… and some of them, black-hole-like, you can’t leave. And unless they’ve been charted, and someone else has gone in and come out again, you don’t know which ones these are. There could be unimaginable eternal suffering inside!!!

The main afterlife closest to Earth is enthusiastically maintained as a public good/public utility/public transit type thing because you can enter and leave it relatively freely but not TOO freely. It’s what’s at the end of the white tunnel for the living. Were another to supplant it, one that could not be left, no living people would come back ever again from beneath the ice…

What is Jesus up to? Well Jesus is the strongest warrior, apparently, and so he goes charting the vast eternity of space beyond Death’s borders, looking for Hells of eternal torment—especially locked/unleavable ones—and going inside and then destroying them FROM inside, soul by rescued soul. But mostly by bludgeoning. His cultists draw up what maps of Death there are, they don’t know where he is but they believe fervently in his mission of mercy, so they do things like go scout in groups and then send one person into unknown afterlives, sure in the knowledge that Jesus will eventually come in and get them (if they’re unlucky) on his mission to single-handedly wipe out every locked Hell. The buddies they leave outside don’t know whether the one who went in is delayed because it’s locked but not a Hell, puzzle dungeon stuff, it’s paradise inside, or time dilation shenanigans, or whatever, but they all dread finding the lost Christian (Jesus’) Heaven by mistake, because they know it’s the one place he’ll never go or topple, and they’ll be sundered from him forever if they fall into it. They’re the kind of people who die and then find a job to do, they do NOT want to go early to any kind of rest.

Anyway they maintain an excellent atlas and you do NOT want to get lost in the lands of Death without a map. Some of these places are legit “monstrous vengeful god punishing, elaborately, a last handful of guys forever” and you will be a long, long time waiting for Jesus to come knock it down. Since he’s just one guy

The point of the afterlife is to journey and have fractal experiences until you find your place, but loads of people just like. Don’t. Because it is so dangerous. Instead they make wherever they are their place, and thus the boundaries of the main afterlife, reef-like, are solidified, and continue to reject the neighboring mix of afterlives and Torment Vortices. People who can’t let go of life on Earth yet help keep the whole place close to Earth, too. (One of the reasons further reaches can be so strange and unmoored from Earthly reality.)

[rpmemestorehouse]

Shadow the Hedgehog Real-time Fandub Starters

Change wording as needed

“It feels like every day is the same.”

“It’s so dull and...lifeless.”

“You gotta - hey, come back here!”

“Get this shit outta here!

“Dang, sucks to be those guys. Anyway, back to brooding.”

“[Name], it’s me, the Devil!”

“I’m here to convince you to do sin!”

“Come with me! Steal candy from babies and small businesses! I’m not talkin’ about Wal-Mart.”

“Okay, fine, fine, I’ll sin, I’ll sin, I’ll sin!”

“I’ve outsmarted you once again. And I didn’t even have to play chess this time.”

“You better not move, okay buddy? You just stay right there!”

“If you take one step, it’s blicky with the sticky all over your goddamn body!”

“I kicked them so hard they turned into dogs.”

“You ever been to church? You ever read a Bible? I’m from that, I’m that one. I’m that Devil!”

“Dude, I’m working, I’m playin’ solitaire.”

“That guy’s playing solitaire right down there!”

“I don’t have to turn to look at anyone!”

“I let him in here as a joke!”

“I’ve eaten nothing but drywall for the past three years.”

“Sonic and Shadow would’ve answered the call.”

“I hate it here! The sun doesn’t lessen in brightness!”

“New idea: adultery.”

“[Name]. I don’t know what you’re thinking of doing, but I’m gonna stop it right here.”

“My sin is about to be murdering you.”

“Do you see what I’ve become? Do you see what I’ve created?”

“Not my glock!”

“Something just happened...I can feel it.”

“Come on. Someone. Please...HELLO?! WHY WON’T ANYONE ANSWER ME?!”

“That’s like, fucked up, right?”

“You got really supple shoulders.”

“It’s my Phoenix Wright cosplay. Do you like it?”

“I like your cosplay, I-I subscribed to your OnlyFans!”

“I do tier one on your Twitch channel, [title]! Hi!”

“Oh God, not another one of these Twitch fans.”

“I need to update my audio equipment.”

“That look do be bussin’, though.”

“I wanted to kill [Name] a long, long time ago! Ever since he broke up with me!”

“Anyway, time for me to ascend!”

“I’m opening up my portal again.”

“You confused sin with legality.”

“Oh yeah, of course leave. Without giving me a goddamn answer!”

“All right, an easy entry job, just like any other.”

“They really oughta update the security around here, I’m tellin’ ya.”

“Because I came here to take money because I can’t afford it.”

“So, you wanna go find a gun together?”

“Okay, so, I’m gonna have to break down the myth of Americana, and the uh, the, you know what figure it out yourself! I shouldn’t explain everything to you.”

“Hey, that was pretty good! You got 16 sin points!”

“Why am I moving backwards when I walk?”

“That’s not gonna change, you fucking weird little rat thing.”

“Second of all - hey, second of all - would you look at me while I’m talkin’ to you?!”

“Wait, I have jet boots!”

“I think I heard I rat. I’m gonna go give him a hug.”

“Ooh, a clone of yourself, isn’t that pretty cool?”

“This movie really fuckin’ sucks.”

“Oh my God, my mustache looks like fucking grass.”

“AH, bing-bong, hey what’s up, you’re doin’ a bad job!”

“This is the coolest fucking moment of my afterlife!”

“Welcome to the casino, bitches!”

“If you live in Baltimore, fuck youuuu!”

“I just lost 300,000 dollars, but it’s okay ‘cause I won 700.”

“And then you’ll be all like.......because you’ll be dead!”

“And then, you’ll get to Hell, and look up, and you wanna know what you’ll see? My heels in your face.”

“Ding-a-ling, cocksucker!”

“That’s my house, dude! What the fuck were you thinking?!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you mad? Are you big mad? Are you angy?”

“You just turned your head around like, 360 degrees like an owl, that was fucking cool!

“You’ve been nothing but a kind soul since I’ve known you!”

“Wee-oo wee-oo, hey, I’m in your flashbacks now.”

“It turns out you didn’t save her, you did a very bad job. That’s embarrassing for you, buddy.”

“You know how much I cost? 69 cents, baby!”

“You did just waste military money, which is super funny.”

“You could get an internship at Disney.”

“...Is that an alien?”

“Thanks for going to Chuck E. Cheese with me.”

“Remember that big gun in the sky? That was crazy, right?”

“You know, [Name]  just pays me not to blow up robots. You could get in on this.”

“Look at us, we’re cartoon talking animals.”

“I love you! I’m having so much fun with you!”

“Here it is, the constitution.”

“Stupid bitch alert!”

“I know you have big ambitions, but they can’t be worth your soul, [Name]!”

“I’m  gonna kick so much of your butt.”

“Don’t you ever fucking call me that again, I’ll kill you!”

“I will kill the Devil myself and take his place!”

“All right, so it’s not that hard to right-click on all of them and just hit the save button.”

“I mean, they let me vote, like, 80 times!”

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m deleting the blockchain!”

“I was flying, chump!”

“I always wanted to rig a fuckin’ election!”

“Oh, I hear someone laughing behind us.”

“I’m always laughing at you, you fuckers.”

“You’re being really rude to us for no reason.”

“The timelines are converging, just like I saw it.”

“It’s like, I try to make differences, but...”

“*laughing* You’re gonna die. Oh, my God. I can’t wait to see that, that’s gonna be insane!”

“Wait, I traumatized you as a child! That’s badass!”

“Nothing personnel, kid.”

“Do you ever get tired of complaining like a little bitch?”

“So vitriolic, my feelings are so hurt, oh no, wah, I’m crying like a baby ‘cause of your - DIE.”

“But I wanna see the life leave your eyes one last time, so say your last pathetic words.”

“Now are you ready to finally usurp your throne to me, motherfucker?”

“No! What the f - no, that was never part of the deal!”

“I’m gonna funge this bitch.”

“Ow, what the fucking - you prick!”

“You fucking little pathetic rodent.”

“Oh yeah, “good luck with that”, yeah, fuck you, you’re annoying.”

“I shouldn’t be toying with him like this.”

“What can I say, I’m a rude, edgy boy.”

“No, we’re not connecting over this. Don’t even try, no.”

“No, it’s always “[Name], you change for me!” “

“Hey what’s up, I’m completely fine, like I said, you stupid idiot.”

“You ever heard of gaslighting? That’s, like, my specialty.”

“I was gaslighting you this whole time.”

“This is the last time I fuckin’ play around with mortals.”

“Usurp these nuts.”

“Heeeeeyyyyy! Whaaaat’ssss uuuuppp? It’s meeee!”

“I don’t know how to impress upon you that physical damage done to my body does not affect me in the long term.”

“We’re here to help you, man! With what, I don’t know, but I value our friendship!”

“It’s really cute that you’re gonna ~defeat me with the power of friendship~ and all -”

“Uh-huh, go ahead - ededededede! Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up.”

“This is not - this means nothing to me! This means nothing to me, alright? You mean nothing to me!”

“I’m the good guy! Do you realize? I am the good guy here!”

“I get to kill people! I get to poke people with hot s-sticks! All day!”

“Look! I can do this! I can do this! Any time I want!”

“This is nothing to me! You are nothing to me! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!!”

“Oh my God, he’s fucking losing it entirely!”

“Why don’t you answer my chats in your chatbox?”

“You never acknowledge me, not even once.”

“I’m your biggest fan! I’ve been with you since day one!”

“I got first badge, I was your first subscriber! And you don’t pay attention to me!”

“You still just leave me in the dust every single day!”

“Jesus Christ, parasocial! You need to log off!”

“Yeah man, this is kind of really unhealthy. Set your boundaries, dude.”

“I froze him in time, he was yelling.”

“Look, would you guys stop calling me cringe, please?”

“Because I’m a bad bitch! And I’m MY bad bitch!”

“You’re destroying me from the inside out!”

“I never thought I’d say this, [Full Name]. I’m unsubscribing.”

“These hands speak louder than fuckin’ actions, and I’m about to fuckin’ action all over you, dumbass.”

“Psychic attack! Fuck you!”

“Like, [Name], do you even listen to me when I fuckin’ talk?”

“We’re gonna broadcast this cringe all across the airwaves.”

“You were never strong.”

*on the verge of tears* “So all of this, this was a big prank?”

“[Name], get up and call him a dumbass motherfucker, all right?”

“I think you should call him a bitch-ass motherfucker!’

“You don’t wanna hurt my feelings, right?”

“I’m loyal! I follow you on Twitter! Your side account and your main! I even follow your “after dark” Twitter!”

“You can’t do this me, please! It’s me! Your friend!”

“I want to hurt your feelings, SO badly. You have no idea, [Name].”

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t come any closer! *stammering* Don’t, NO!”

“I just wanted you to embarrass yourself.”

“Would you get outta my head? I really don’t like you in here.”

“You know, you look like piss!”

“I wanna go home! I don’t wanna be here anymore!”

“We lived. How’s that for ya?”

“You didn’t do your job, so I’m gonna fire you.”

“We oughta open a casino after this.”

“Maybe [Name] wasn’t all she was cracked up to be.”

#original memes #ask meme #ask starter #sentence meme #sentence starter #source: youtube #rp meme #rp starter #rp prompts #rp moodboard #inbox starters #inbox meme

[thejellybeanboys]

I know this isn’t a Valentine’s Day ask but…do any of you got pets? Asking cause I recently got a dog and I’m curious if any of you do? (I mean you can also celebrate Valentine’s Day with the pets you love so it counts too right?)

Luis: “Em--thank you, but yes pets count! I was rudely censored talking about them before but as you know I have dogs--five of them to be exact.”

Codey: “I would prefer if you didn't waste time again infodumpig about them so I think instead... if you have a pet and you want to talk about them here. (Codey picks up some of the Valentines cards from the floor that Luis left) You can draw or write about them here on these.”

Luis: “Hey!-- I still haven't found the card yet.”

Codey: “Too bad, you took to long and made a mess, this is one way we'll get to use these wastes of the planets resources.”

(Some take the cards and start drawing. 15 minutes pass)

Jeremy: “I'm done with mine. Um I really don't consider him a pet really... he's actually my best friend but here's Pepeino! He's a rat, the coolest rat of them all.”

Luis: “There's no way he also wearing a jacket like your's...and also is standing like that. Are you sure this is your pet rat or like....a furry OC?”

Jeremy: “Ugh He's real!! He's just not here because I left him home.”

Cecil: “I think he's pretty cool! Can't wait to meet him one day!”

Jeremy: (blushes)

Cecil: “I'm also attached to rodents, but um well I did have a pet... unfortunately he's no longer with us. I had Lorenzo when I was 12 and still in Puerto Rico, he was such a sassy eating machine but guinea pigs don't live that long. I hope he's doing good in guinea pig afterlife.”

Codey: “I mean we're mainly talking about pets we have rn but uh... I guess Lorenzo is okay to still mention.”

Benny: “Aww r.i.p Lorenzo :'((”

Wil-Liam: “I got a pet too. They're name is R.O.C look at them gooo!”

Luis: “...That's just a rock with sunglasses..”

Wil-Liam: “And? You got a problem with pets having drip? You uh... Dripless boy?”

Luis: “ ....JKJJAKAJJGH-- uh Whatever man” (tries to hide more of his laughter)

Benny: “And oh that Bun Bun is not really mine, I actually don't have one right now...um a real one, but my mom says when I'm a bit older I could and want one that looks just like that one.”

Codey: “Okay we have gone from pets that are passed away to ones that are imaginary...”

Luis: “Anyway everyone shut up cause here's a almost accurate drawing of my babies...

They're my dogs! Duke is a Tibetan Mastiff. Bernie is a St. Bernard, Spruce is a Bernese, Beast is a Husky and the photobomber is Gustavo the Samoyed.”

Wil-Liam: “Ohh woah such cool little guys!! They're awesome.”

Luis: “Of course they are.”

Leroy: “I definitely wouldn't describe them as 'little' Wil, they're all intimidating big boys and girls who are capable of suffocating you if they even try to sit down near you.”

Luis: “Get over it Roy it only happened one time and Duke said he was sorry.”

#wordgirl #wordgirl au #wordgirl next gen #wordgirl ocs #jellybeans boys #wordgirl next generation #jellybeanboysask #the ppl who didn’t draw anything or say anything this time are ones who don’t have pets so yeah hoagie.Mason.Codey.Leroy. no pets yet

[maguro13-2]

Arle : Remember, Schezo. Girls aren't supposed to be the only ones that knows driving a little too well.

Schezo : Oh don't be ridiculous, you know driving a vehicle could be a little too dangerous to think that all I have are my passports and work visas, plus, my driver's license is right here. Too much from England to drive, no wait. Japan. Who knew driving in San Francisco is much cooler than walking in the woods in Japan. Rulue has never able in the woods barefooted all the time and plus she always drive a vehicle with her feet that is simply a logical explanation, that is until she accidentally stepped on a lego.

Arle : And that considered to be an "Ouch".

Schezo : Right. So that is why I am literally driving this thing. Cause this time, I don't drive with my drive, I can drive with them doing the chauffer.`

Arle : It's "Chauffeur", you're doing it as the way of a driver. Rulue was once a barefooted Chauffeur that literally drives a vehicle with her feet in the past before she accidentally stepped on a lego when I was a little girl.

Schezo : Right.

Arle : So when does it take some to drive this thing with magical gloves?

Schezo : No hands. Totally logic.

Arle : No BJs, no doing dirty stuff car, no nothing. Just friendly driving.

"later..."

Schezo : You know, this driving experience kicking up good. (looks at Arle sleeping)

Rulue : You know, Schezo. Ever since I was barefooted, I always looked upon about my feet being the chauffeur into the world of chauffeuring before I changed clothes. These babies have been steering on the wheel for over a year now. Did a little experience on the no brainer.

Satan : So it's up to you that is going to drive with your hands. Rulue's the best driver that drives a vehicle with her feet. Oh yeah, I remember. It was only a year ago.

*flashback*

Rulue : So what do you think of these guys. Does these look good on chauffeuring a vehicle? (wiggles her toes)) After all I am the biggest chauffeur there is!

Arle : Uhh, what? They look good and you sure this is a good one for your health?

Rulue : Trust me, fellas. It's a good idea to be the coolest chauffeur and I even won a chauffeuring contest for being the best Chauffeur there is! And just because I'm barefooted, doesn't mean that I have to be driving a vehicle with my feet all the time! So grow up, guys! I do not like get my feet hurt or stubbed by any means necessarily to my lovely powerful soles that drives as the greatest Chauffeur in the world! *POKE!* YEOW!! I stand corrected! That's it! I'm going footwear tomorrow.

*flashback ends*

Rulue : Oh yeah, I was a barefooted chauffeur, I used to walk around barefoot that is earthing before I stepped on a lego by accident. So that's all in my head, can't say how great driving is.

Schezo : Sure you would! As long as the world of Monogatari knows, we all come to sudden fruition that having a good friendly reunion is-

*BAM+CRASH!*

Arle : (moaning) What happened?

Schezo : Ah, man. I can't believe we almost took a dark turn or something?

Satan : I feel constipated not remembering about what happened on you were driving? Say isn't that the G.U.N Truck from over a year ago!?

Rulue : I think so.

Schezo : Ah, spit! Now look what they've done! They've totaled my ride and now we can't seem to be driving anymore. Well, this is a wasted opportunity thanks to SEGA's stupid shenanigans. Come on, let's just walk in town since nobody realizes that we're floating in the air.

Arle : You think so, schezo? That's because we are floating in the air and I do believe that we made a fatal blow after the truck crashed into us by accident.

Schezo : Huh? (realizes that he and the others became ghosts) What in the---Oh, man! That ain't right!

Satan : You just had to be Chauffeur didn't you? We all died thanks to the shenanigans that the company did for us.

Schezo : Well, basically, I'm the best chauffeur there is. Hey, Robot dressed as a Reaper. When can we go back to be reviving in the spirit world or in the afterlife to be reincarnated.

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Not for long it isn't.

Schezo : Oh my...

Rulue : Smooth driving, Weegee!

Satan : It only took us to realize how bad driving can be, we only struck a fatable to be dead like this. So this is on you pal.

Arle : You just had it coming, didn't you?

Schezo : You're right. I'm just a minor with no passion for a swordsman as hero in a world. Can't say how much being a swords guy costs.

Arle : I know, I feel your loss dude.

Amitie (as a Boo) : Hey, guys! Look, I'm a ghost now! AND I'M HERE TO HAUNT FOR YOUR LIVES, FOREVER!

Arle : Yeah, I'm definitely not buying that.

Amitie : (frowns)

Arle : Oh well, what the heck. You ready to go haunt some kids today.

All : [cheering]

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Uhh, no. You're all gonna be at my castle for a quite sometime.

Arle : Darn it! Also, could you put her in that Pyramid that the mad scientist occupies, I think she belongs in that place like someone who has his face.

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Of course. (to Amitie) Sorry, young ma'am. Looks like I'm taking you to the Pyramid where the King of Ghosts resides.

Amitie : Oh, darn it all! Welp, at least State Farm is there.

Schezo : Dafuq's a State Farm?

*imaginary scenario ends*

Schezo : And that's why accidents in the car always happen when it comes to driving safety lessons. So f**k you, state farm!

Arle : At least, you got some insurance to prove it.

(iris out)

"CHAUFFEURING IN THE CAR IS NOT AN ACCIDENT."

#madou monogatari #puyo puyo #sonic the hedgehog #sega #sonic team #compile #banpresto #crossover #comedy #dark comedy #funny #humor #dark humor

[stormcried]

❛❛ Of course, you can stay, in fact, I won’t let you leave. ❜❜ / lowkey this can actually be kinda threatening but shhhhh

FAMILY TASTES LIKE HONEY

"Wait, seriously Striker?" Drake ACTUALLY didn't think that would work. Drake may have been biting his cheek more then he could've chewed with this guy. Drake's seen how he is. Ruthless. He gives no shits. Gets the job done with no excuses. Drake thought this Imp is the fucking coolest dude he's ever seen. It's like those cheesy cowboy movies he saw in the theatres when he was alive. Except better. And all Drake wanted to do? Was be accepted. Maybe too desperate TOO be accepted. Unaware of that tone that Striker held. The rose tinted glasses slipping on.

He's alone. He won't feign that fact. Fear he'd die alone in Hell. A afterlife fit for murderers like him. Drake's 'lone wolf' persona is slipping. The mask falling. Drake's SCARED to be in a place so big, so unforgiving. And yet... he's allowed to stay here. Two Wrath's in the same room. It's been a month or so now. And, to be frank? Drake liked Striker. He's in a way like him. And Drake wanted to impress him. And try as he would promise to himself. Drake furrowed his brows in astonishment. "I-... Shit.. I-I don' know wha' t'say, man." Maybe Drake had PURPOSEFULLY ignored that last comment. As if saying to himself 'I get somewhere to stay... finally.'

But, Drake has also seen somethings he shouldn't have seen. Drake's reluctance to react to murder or any sort of job that Striker brought in. After all. See, hear, speak no evil. Drake isn't stupid enough to cross the assassin. Drake may not be able to be killed from the neck down, but, that humanoid face of his is still open to put a bullet in case Drake had any ideas. But fret you not Drake... as long as you do what is told and mind your business, he and Striker would have no problems, right?

#POSSESSIVE STRIKER WHEN? :EYE EMOJI: #ddyfckr #IC. #V. DEMON #cw helluva boss #tw helluva boss

[xoutmysoul]

Chapter TWO.

School was totally boring and nothing really happened that was important So I waited after school at the bus stop for my friends to meet up with me and decided to tease them into going into an adventure after school and go into the forest.

At first they didn't want to do it but I convinced them to do it because I was the most popular and Of course Etheria Wanted to do it because she wanted to go on gothic Adventures and be the coolest girls in all of our school so we did it.

We found an opening in the trees and sat in a circle and pray to the Gods that we would have a good year living in black and white in that our misery and pain would adapt to a new level, and our torture would appeased to our normal lives.

As a goth I didn't really believe in God I believed in multiple gods like a pagan but I was God so I was a lot cooler when I did it and it made a lot of sense when you read about it. This made since to my friends, who didn't know I was a vampire and secretly hoped my friends would become vampires too so I could truly tell them my secrets. On the way home we passed an abandoned mansion and noticed something sitting on the doorstep it was a box Amazon and we jumped over the fence and grabbed the box and ran away laughing as we stole the box and didn't know what was in it little did we know this we change our fate and our destiny and the entire story of a vampire's lust began.

We got to my house and ran up to my room in the upstairs part of the house and we open the box finding that it was actually a book of shadows. A book of shadows is a magic witch book that witches used to write spells in but this book was completed and turned out to be a Bible. A Bible called the Bible of other.

We didn't know what that until we opened the book and read the first three pages the table of contents and the introduction it was a Bible of the underworld and a type of dictionary of all the different spirits, high priestesses, and Gods.

This really interested me because I was a vampire and didn't know much of the afterlife except for the fact that I believed in multiple Gods and that I knew that it interested Etheria and Halo because it was a super gothic looking book that was huge in the pages were double-sided and thick and had gothic text in it, and we had really hit the gold mine for our very first gothic adventure.

"This book is so cool." Etheria said. She got up and went over to my vinyl player and Put on my new Marilyn Manson vinyl called WE ARE CHAOS. I loved that Vinyl and listened to it every night since I bought it and it really comforted me, especially now that I was making memories with my friends.

Etheria sat back down and pointed out a part of the book we had missed. "It says that we can even become powerful spirits in the after life of we do this special spell."

"Too bad we can't do it and try it out." I tell her.

"Well maybe we should try it." She tells me and nudges me laughing and it made me laugh too.

A//N:

I hope you like the story so far! I spoke with the creator of 9corpsestudioz, and he told me he is reading the book online and loves it so far. So I hope you guys like it too!! I will be updating this book every weekend on Friday or Saturday at midnight so keep looking for updates every weekend. Also I'm sorry the character development is going so slow I know you guys want to get into the story but it will all make since after the process is done.

I 💜 you all. Thnxs.

#Fanfiction #emocore

[yyh4ever]

"I didn't see the afterlife for nothing!"

The 8th Catch Phrase Grand Prix

Weekly Shounen Jump - WSJ N°25 (June 8, 1992)

Before continuing with the translations of Togashi's comments from the Table of Contents, I'd like to explain from where the anime's next episode preview catchphrase comes.

The "Catch Phrase Grand Prix" was a contest held by the WSJ in which the participants submitted a catchphrase that had to do with their favorite series from the magazine. The mangaka, in turn, would draw an illustration to match the phrase.

The winner of the 8th edition (June 1992 issue), Miss Tamiya, 17 years old, from Kumamoto Prefecture, won the contest with the catchphrase:

"I didn't end up seeing the afterlife for nothing!!"

「ダテにあの世は見ちゃいねぇ!!」

Date ni anoyo wa michai nee! !

Meaning that Yusuke didn't just die, but by seeing the other world, he learned a lot and became stronger.

The coolest thing is that the winner herself (@SelectShopHIKO) posted on Twitter that her catchphrase was selected almost 30 years ago, and it was used in the anime, which surprised her to no end.

To match the catchphrase, Togashi drew the above illustration of Yusuke in the afterlife, holding the kanabo, the mythical spiked club, a weapon that belongs to the oni (demon ogre). Standing right behind Yusuke are the Blue and Red Oni.

The oni are known in the japanese folklore as servants of the Great Lord Enma, ruler of Hell, and for wielding iron clubs with which they crush humans for enjoyment. For those familiar with Dragon Ball, blue and red oni also appear in this series.

In my opinion, this illustration shows that Yusuke won against the oni, took over their spiky club and became the new bigwig in the afterworld. He surely didn't see the afterlife for nothing!

This drawing was also used as cover of the Yu Yu Hakusho volume 8. According to Togashi's comments to the Artbook (2005), the red and blue oni's stances were modeled after two black guys he saw standing around like this in some music video or magazine, and thought they looked cool.

On October 10, 1992, the first episode of the anime aired on Japan's Fuji TV network. The catchphrase from the WSJ Grand Prix was borrowed, adapted a little bit, and employed in the next episode preview only as:

"I didn't see the afterlife for nothing!"

「ダテにあの世は見てねぇぜ！」

Date ni anoyo wa mitene~e ze!

(the japanese sentence-ending particle "ze-ぜ" was also added to change the tone to a more informal masculine speech, suiting more Yusuke's character)

The famous illustration served as inspiration for this scene from the first ending, "The Homework Doesn't End":

In episode 2, Atsuko also mentions dreaming about Yusuke fighting with the oni in the next world and becoming their leader. Also a reference to the illustration, in my opinion.

I don't know how it was translated in dubbed versions, but I've seen many people claiming that Atsuko predicted the future of the series by saying that Yusuke became the leader of the demons in hell. Please, do not misunderstand the afterlife (heaven or hell) with the Demon World (Makai) neither the oni, who work to Lord Enma, with the regular youkai, inhabitants of the Makai in the YYH series.

Lastly, how was the anime's catchphrase from the next episode preview translated in your country?

#I didn't see the afterlife for nothing #yu yu hakusho #weekly shounen jump #oni #Catch Phrase Grand Prix #ダテにあの世は見てねぇぜ！ #Weekly Shounen Jump - WSJ N°25 (June 8 #1992)

[blazehedgehog]

Did you ever watch Ghostbusters: Afterlife?

I did, yeah. I wrote a brief review of it over on Letterboxd. There are no spoilers in that review, but there will be spoilers in this blog.

To expand on some of those ideas a little bit:

Ghostbusters Afterlife was clearly produced to satiate the people who whined the loudest about the 2016 all-lady reboot. It is here to remind you that the Ghostbusters were the coolest, most epic legends.

Like, literally half the movie is this plot about kids discovering who the Ghostbusters were for the first time. And it's all spoken in these hushed tones, like, "oh man, you don't know who the ghostbusters are? they saved the world, and were the coolest guys ever." I think I say this in the Letterboxd review, but it's like one of those "Kids React To..." videos, where they get handed a Gameboy and are like "lol, this sure is a weird iphone!!!! I don't get it???" But here, it's a ghost trap and Paul Rudd is showing them clips on Youtube.

A lot of people take issue with that last part, as I understand it. The fact that everyone except for the kids knows who the Ghostbusters are. Maybe I'm reading too much in to it, but the way it was presented, there was still some doubt over whether or not it really happened. Or, more specifically, about whether or not the Ghostbusters did what they did.

Also, the internet is a big place, it's easy to miss out on obvious things, and I'm sure there are things that happened 20 years before I was born that I would've never heard about when I was 12. That's the whole trick of "Kids React To". These kids have lived in a world where everything is provided by their parents and they haven't learned anything outside of that bubble. It's what was making me mad a decade ago when people were like "oh all video games are going to be touch screen mobile games, it's all kids grow up on." And kids also aren't allowed to wield guns or drive cars. As you grow up, your world view expands, and you are able to handle more complex forms of stimulation.

But I bet there are 12 year olds right now who have never seen the 1984 Ghostbusters movie. Or, for something more comparable, The Hutchison Experiments. And in the lore of the movie, there's plenty of reasons why Egon Spengler's granddaughter wouldn't be told who he was. It is addressed.

It's just that element of worshiping the original Ghostbusters that gets me. Like, in Hollywood, Ghostbusters was an accident. It's lightning in a bottle. It was an old script that Dan Aykroyd wrote with John Belushi, a very different movie about sci-fi cowboy lassos, that had to be dramatically rewritten in a hurry when the studio suddenly picked it up. I don't think the script was even done when shooting began. The way I've always read it, Ghostbusters got rammed through production and came out the other end a miracle.

Which is why it's been such a struggle to produce a worthy sequel.

In the film, the Ghostbusters are not good guys. They are working joes. Schlubs. Peter Venkman is more than just snarky, he is deliberately deceitful. He tacitly did not believe in ghosts; when the Dean kicks the GBs out of their college facilities, his read of Venkman is true: "You seem to regard science as some kind of dodge, or hustle." Venkman is here to trick people out of their money. A modern Pete Venkman would be running his own Joe-Rogan-style podcast, scaring us about chemicals in our drinking water and shilling brain supplements. That was the direction his grift was moving in before confirming the existence of ghosts (and that's basically where it lead him in Ghostbusters 2).

Ray is naive to a fault, here because he believes in this stuff with all his heart. Egon is all in on the mad science and sticks around as long as there was bankroll for new toys to play with. And Winston is there for a steady paycheck. They were heroes by accident, and the world immediately turned against them after it was saved.

I mean, one of the primary villains of that film is the Environmental Protection Agency. The EPA's involvement is totally reasonable: they're worried the ghost containment unit is producing toxic waste. Because, let's face it: it probably is. Ghosts exude ectoplasm, a mood-altering substance charged with paranormal energy, so you gotta figure at least some of that is coming out of the machine somewhere. The EPA was trying to assess the danger, and Venkman copped an attitude with them for no reason. Or maybe he even had a reason, and it's because he knew what they were doing was illegal and potentially even deeply hazardous.

So the Ghostbusters were not good guys. They were not heroes. They were not legends. They were just guys that got lucky. In a movie that got lucky.

So when there's this big moment in Afterlife, and a character opens Egon's old jumpsuit to find a half-eaten Crunch bar... it's like... so what? Something fun and disposable becomes this big epic callback. And there's more than a few of those moments in here, where something small from the original movie is treated with this reverence it does not deserve. Because they're trying to apologize to all the people that got weird about the 2016 Ghostbusters.

Which, for the record, wasn't a bad movie. It just also wasn't a good movie. But, again: lightning in a bottle. The production for GB2016 feels like they knowingly rolled the dice on the exact same type of gamble and instead it blew up in their faces. They threw funny actors at a proven concept with barely any script and hoped they could adlib their way in to success. It did not happen.

(And then, of course, you know... the "giving trolls the spotlight" stuff certainly didn't help, either.)

Now we have this "sorry, sorry, sorry, you're right, ghostbusters is sanctimonious" apology movie. There's merchandise to sell to those people. Money matters more.

Ghostbusters Afterlife does at least realize that, to an extent. They do try to portray the new family as a sort of broken home. A single mom, they're out of money, looking for a lifeline. The Ghostbusters had a bad break up decades ago, and people may not even believe they did anything at all. Egon Spengler retired to become a "dirt farmer" and died alone. But that's in the story of the movie. What it presents to the audience is something else, and that's to pump the brakes and get a close-up of someone's face when they say "Who you gonna call?"

Somewhat fortunately, Afterlife is a two hour movie, so there's enough room around the edges of the bad, cheesy fandom winking and "passing the torch to the next generation"-isms for there to be enjoyable stuff. Like I said, the family feels real, there's plenty of fun banter, and despite there being some obnoxious kids in the cast, it doesn't feel like a movie that's just for kids. It does at least carry that vibe of something like The Goonies or whatever, where you wonder if kids should even be watching this sometimes.

I just wish the movie didn't feel like it wraps up in a hurry. Retreading the end of Ghostbusters again bothers me less than them introducing specific characters as plot twists and then instantly throwing them aside with a "Just kidding! It doesn't matter!"

Still, despite everything, I stand by the idea that this is the best Ghostbusters sequel. It's not much, but at least it has that.

#questions #Anonymous #ghostbusters #answer the call #afterlife #movies #reviews

[rigmarolling]

History in the News: DUDE, WE KNOW WHAT THIS MUMMY SOUNDED LIKE

Are you freaking out?

Are you?

I mean, maybe you’re freaking out in general but HERE IS SOMETHING SPECIFIC FOR YOU TO FREAK OUT ABOUT.

“...about which you can freak out?”

WHO CARES? BECAUSE BOY HOWDY, HOLY SHIT, AND HOT DANG, SCIENCE HAS DONE IT AGAIN.

(A warning, for those who may not like photos of mummies...below the cut, thar be a photo of a mummy. It’s not that bad, I promise.)

Meet Nesyamun. In life--more than 3,000 years ago--he was an Egyptian priest and scribe at the Temple of Karnak. Today, his well-preserved mummy calls Leeds its home, and he’s one of the most extensively-studied mummies in England.

People just can’t get enough of this guy. So much so that a few years back, scientists referenced his mummy to reveal what our buddy Nesyamun actually looked like:

Look at that Yul Brynner-lookin’ dreamboat. Those eyes! Those cheekbones! That flawlessly symmetrical face! Look at him go in that temple, carrying incense, honoring the gods, chanting their sacred hymns...

Oh, and speaking of chanting, not only do we know what he looked like, but with the help of science, we now know what he may have sounded like.

Did you get that? Let me just reiterate it in case it hasn’t sunken in that this is one of the coolest things ever:

WE KNOW WHAT THIS 3,000-YEAR-OLD DEAD GUY’S VOICE SOUNDED LIKE.

Well, sort of. 

See, Nesyamun may not look like it, but he’s very well-preserved, as far as mummies go. See for yourself:

Oh, please. Don’t make that face. Like you haven’t woken up from a three-hour nap in the middle of the day, dehydrated and disoriented and looking like beef jerky.

ANYWAY.

We know a lot about this guy, partly from the detailed information about his life inscribed on his sarcophagus, and partly because of his mummy, which, yes, I promise is in good condition. 

Such good condition, in fact, that when scientists ran this dude through a CT scan, they discovered that his vocal chords were still intact. 

“What to do with this information?” David Howard, one of the members of the team that resurrected Nesyamun’s voice, wondered. 

But Howard knew exactly what he wanted to do with that information: 3D print out the vocal chords and produce sound from them to simulate the priest’s voice. Howard has done this before--3D printing out copies of vocal chords to see how accurately the printed copy mimics a voice, I mean. He’s done it on multiple living people, including himself, and the results are pretty spot-on when it comes to replicating what someone sounds like. 

But he’d never tried it on a dead guy. So with the help of a team of archaeologists, Egyptologists, computer whizzes, and other people who are infinitely smarter than you and I could ever hope to be, Howard and his band of Archaeology Avengers got to work. 

Above: Family photo.

They used computer tech and detailed scans of the mummy to identify the vocal chords and did some sort of alchemy in the computer that I know can be logically explained but which is actually probably some sort of digital witchcraft. 

And then, out of the 3D printer came a life-size model of Nesyamun’s voice. 

Well, his vocal tract, at least:

Yeah, I know. You can say it: it looks kind of gross. No one’s offended, it’s fine.

Meanwhile, using the information they had scanned into their witchcraft robot computer, they were able to reproduce what Nesyamun may have sounded like.

And here it is...a voice that hasn’t been heard in more than 3,000 years:

.....Okay. 

Okay, I know what you’re thinking: 

“Wait, what? What the hell was that?”

Just give me a minute to explain. There’s a reason Nesyamun sounds like the noise you used to make when your mom asked you how school was. 

See, the scientists stressed that they were only able to produce sound, not speech. This is only what air running through those vocal chords sounds like. 

Also, the scientists were up against a slight challenge recreating that sound because our friend Nesyamun was, um...

...missing his tongue. And part of his soft palate. 

Above: Oh, wait, no, it’s still in there, never mind.

As far as we know, this was just natural corrosion and not the result of anything creepy, nefarious, or cinematic; just the consequence of, you know. Being really, really, really old.

But the missing tongue and part of the soft palate complicated things because, as you can imagine, your tongue plays a key role in how you sound and how you speak. Without it, you’d probably sound like...

“...eh.” This mummy.

So the scientists had to recreate the tongue and the rest of the missing bits as best they could, using measurements from other similarly-sized mouths. And for the purpose of their study, they were only able to reproduce one vowel sound.

One whiny, disaffected vowel sound, which truly echoes the malaise and general “do not want” of this day and age, meaning we should absolutely all stan Nesyamun, who, judging by that voice, is probably doing this in the afterlife right now:

Here’s the even cooler part: while the technology isn’t quite there yet, this means that someday--probably sooner rather than later if the world doesn’t implode on itself--scientists could potentially recreate what long-dead people sounded like, provided the person in question’s body and vocal chords are well-preserved enough. Heck, we could even hear them speak full words and sentences. They might even be able to digitally “talk” to us, bringing history alive in the most metal way possible.

That also applies to famous historical people, if, again, those famous folks’ bodies are still intact enough to wriggle out enough info from their vocal tracts. 

Now, the scientists in the Nesyamun study stressed that this technique understandably won’t work with just skeletal remains--in order to recreate a realistic voice, the bodies need more tissue and juice to ‘em.

But still. This is like magic. This is straight-up necromancy. Do you know what this means?

This means that one day, Henry VIII could scream at you to rub ointment on his festering leg ulcer. Rameses the Great could scream at you for not showing up to Thanksgiving dinner again, Moses, what the hell, man, I thought we were cool??? 

It also means that one day, our boy Nesyamun could sing again. In fact, that’s what Howard and his team of superheroes want to work on next: recreating the mummy’s whole mouth so he can sing the actual Ancient Egyptian chants he would have sung while praising the gods at the Karnak Temple. 

How do we know what the chants were? Why, they’re written all over his sarcophagus (and other places), of course! And music historians have already recreated Ancient Egyptian music. 

Now the only thing we have left to do is wrangle an actual Ancient Egyptian into performing that music for us.

Us, in 2030: Nesyamun! Nesyamun! Do Wonderwall! Wonderwall!

Nesyamun:

#history in the news #ancient egypt #mummies #archaeology

[blueskyscribe]

Beast Machines: Some Observations on Toys

So I think most TF fans have some notion of the usual arguments about BM (the BW characters being out of character, etc), no matter which side of the argument you fall on.

But I would like to point out how weird BM was as a show tied to a toyline.

The Toys for the Leaders

These were the toys for BM Optimus Primal and Megatron:

Optimus' figure was small and not show-accurate and was one of the weakest BM figures for its price point.

Megatron was even worse. He was TINY (but they sold him at the pricepoint of a bigger toy lololol) and just . . . bad. Look at that dragon tail just hanging off his elbow.

Megatron is supposed to be the Big Bad of the show!! If they didn't want to make a new, big mold for him then why not recolor his final Beast Wars toy (the huge dragon) and sell that again? "Oh dear, I hate my organic dragon form. Buuuut look how rad it looks now that it's silver and black."

You might be thinking, "Wait a minute, I've seen a big, cool toy of Primal that looks just like he did on BM. And I've seen a toy of Megatron as a head-spaceship."

Those toys exist, and they are cool. But they're not Beast Machines toys. They were sold in the Robots in Disguise (2001) line, which came after BM.

The point of a show like Beast Machines is "Child sees character on TV, immediately begs parent to buy representative toy". Not "Child sees character on TV, begs parent to buy a representative toy in three years after show is over."

No Size Consistency

Listen, I don't think the toys need to exactly match the show characters. But I think it's very weird that Nightscream, the bat, ONLY had an Ultra size toy. That's huge compared to his size on the show.

My other main issue, Megatron and Optimus having dinky toys, I've already touched on.

They Skipped the Dinosaurs

Did you know there were Beast Machines Dinobots? No, not Dinobot, the BW character, but Dinobots, like a faction. Their backcards explained that they were formatted using memories / data provided by Dinobot's spark. So it was like Dinobot was reaching out from the afterlife to help his friends.

First, that's a cool and touching idea. Second, they were awesome toys THAT WERE DINOSAURS and yet were never in the show. Even though kids love dinosaurs.

I can't believe we missed out on surprised Pachycephalosaurus with pop-up head.

The Dinobot leader was a repaint of original BW Megatron, which could've played into the whole "BM Megatron hates beast modes now", like he'd be personally enraged to see that. Also, a lot of these could easily have been adapted from BW character models.

The New Guys Deserved Better

There was no way every toy-character could / should be in the show. (It didn't happen in Beast Wars either.) That would be way too many assets and too many bots to characterize well. So I understand why we just had a small crew of heroes fighting Megatron and the Vehicons.

But maaaan, I wish we'd had different heroes from what we got.

First, it would've sidestepped all the "Are the BM bots out of character?" debates. (The answer is yes, btw.) Second, I just think it would've been nice to get to know new characters. Third, a lot of coolest toys never got any screentime.

Silverbolt, who had the worst BM toy, with his head peering out of his crotch in bird mode and wings that looked like a stupid cape, got to be in the show.

But not this cool bull.

Or this cool snake.

Or this cool UNICORN.

Just . . . what a waste.

What I Would've Done

Okay, so here's what I would've done if I had to keep the general premise (the Big Bad has taken over Cybertron and only a plucky group of survivors can defeat him and his Vehicons.)

1. The Big Bad would be Nightscream. This is so obvious it blows my mind. His toy is huge and bats freak out a lot of people. Just change his robot-mode head so it looks villainous instead of emo.

His motivation wouldn't be related to organics, it would be something like . . . he's siphoning off the energy from Cybertronians' sparks to become a god or summon Unicron--you know, anime bullshit.

2. Nightscream has taken over Cybertron via some kind of electrical macguffin, like a stasis grid that covers the planet or something. TFs are lying around the streets in permanent stasis.

But then! Optimus Primal & crew (with Megatron tied to the roof) literally crash into the planet. The crash disrupts the grid in a small area and some TFs awaken from stasis. They start exchanging info with the BW crew. Their sparks are so weak that they have to be transferred to new bodies to re-energize them, so the BW crew uses the protoform pods from Earth--which have been pre-programmed with an encyclopedia of Earth animals, which is how they get beast modes.

But then the stasis grid is put online again. A handful of Cybertronians escape--mostly new guys, but maybe one or two of the BW Maximals. Megatron also escapes.

Maybe over the course of the show more BW characters are rescued and added to the cast. But mostly it's focused on these new guys.

3. I would have half the new guys be Maximals and half be Predacons, for some inter-faction tension. (And ROMANCE?!?!) Nevertheless everyone knows they have to work together to defeat Nightscream.

4. If they really want to sell the crappy tiny Megatron toy, they could have him try to cut a deal with Nightscream, but then Nightscream backstabs him and dumps him in the mini body to mock him, idk.

5. After that Megatron decides he's really going to give it his all to defeat Nightscream. And he decides the way to do this is to clone Dinobot, because he LOVES cloning Dinobot. So he tries, but instead creates these other dinosaur robots. They have Dinobot's independent streak, so they flip Megatron the bird and leave.

6. The Dinobots are also trying to stop Nightscream, but they're constantly messing up the plans of the Predacon/Maximal group, and vice versa.

7. But in the end the good guys win. And they sell a lot of toys.

#Beast Machines #Beast Wars #Transformers #Dinobots #long post #toys #headcanons #I can't believe they managed to make a snake TF that looks that good #and then SQUANDERED them

[crowdvscritic]

round up // JULY 21

‘Tis the season to beat the heat at the always-cold theatres and next to fans set at turbo speed. While my movie watching slowed a bit with the launch of the Summer Olympics on July 23rd, I’ve still got plenty of popcorn-ready and artsy recommendations for you. A few themes in the new-to-me pop culture I’m recommending this month:

Casts oozing with embarrassing levels of talent (sometimes overqualified for the movies they’re in)

Pop culture that is responding or reinterpreting past pop culture

Stories that get weEeEeird

Keep on-a-scrollin’ to see which is which!

July Crowd-Pleasers

1. Double Feature – ‘90s Rom-Coms feat. Lots of Lies: Mystery Date (1991) + The Pallbearer (1996)

In Mystery Date (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Ethan Hawke and Teri Polo get set up on a blind date that gets so bizarre and crime-y I’m not sure how this didn’t come out in the ‘80s. In The Pallbearer (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), David Schwimmer and Gwyneth Paltrow try to combine The Graduate with Four Weddings and a Funeral in a story about lost twentysomethings. If you don’t like rom-coms in which circumstances depend on lots of lies and misunderstandings, these won’t be your jam, but if you’re like me and don’t mind these somewhat-cliché devices, you’ll be hooked by likeable casts and plenty of rom and com.

2. The Tomorrow War (2021)

I thought of no fewer movies than this list while watching: Alien, Aliens, Angel Has Fallen, Cloverfield, Interstellar, Kong: Skull Island, Prometheus, A Quiet Place: Part II, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith, The Silence of the Lambs, The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and World War Z. And you know what? I like all those movies! (Okay, maybe I just have a healthy respect/fear of The Silence of the Lambs.) The Tomorrow War may not be original, but it borrows some of the best tropes and beats from the sci-fi and action genres, so much so I wish I could’ve seen Chris Pratt and Co. fight those gross monsters on a big screen. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6/10

3. Dream a Little Dream (1989)

My July pick for the Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! I CANNOT explain the mechanics of this body switch comedy to you—nor can the back of the DVD case above—but, boy, what an ‘80s MOOD. I did not know I needed to see a choreographed dance routine starring Jason Robards and Corey Feldman, but I DID. All I know is some movies are made for me and that I’m now a card-carrying member of the Two Coreys fan club. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

4. Black Widow (2021)

The braids! The Pugh! Black Widow worked for me both as an exciting action adventure and as a respite from the Marvel adventures dependent on a long memory of the franchise. (Well, mostly—keep reading for a second MCU rec much more dependent on the gobs of previous releases.) Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

5. Liar Liar (1997)

Guys, Jim Carrey is hilarious. That’s it—that’s the review. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

6. Sob Rock by John Mayer (2021)

It’s very possible I’ve already listened to this record more than all other John Mayer records. It doesn’t surpass the capital-G Greatness of Continuum, but it’s a little bit of old school Mayer, a little bit ‘80s soft rock/pop, and I’ve had it on repeat most of the two weeks since it’s been out. Featuring the boppiest bop that ever bopped, at least one lyrical gem in every track, and an ad campaign focused on Walkmans, this record skirts the line between Crowd faves and Critic-worthy musicianship.

7. Double Feature – ‘00s Ben Affleck Political Thrillers: The Sum of All Fears (2002) + State of Play (2009)

In The Sum of All Fears (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), Ben Affleck is Jack Ryan caught up in yet another international incident. In State of Play (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), he’s a hotshot Congressman caught up in a scandal. Both are full of plot twists and unexpected turns, and in both, Affleck is accompanied by actors you’re always happy to see, like Jason Bateman, James Cromwell, Russell Crowe, Jeff Daniels, Viola Davis, Morgan Freeman, Philip Baker Hall, David Harbour, Rachel McAdams, Helen Mirren, Liev Schreiber, and Robin Wright—yes, I swear all of those people are in just those two movies.

8. Loki (2021-)

Unlike Black Widow, you can’t go into Loki with no MCU experience. The show finds clever ways to nudge us with reminders (and did better at it than Falcon and the Winter Soldier), but be forewarned that at some point, you’re just going to have to let go and accept wherever this timeline-hopper is taking you. An ever-charismatic cast keeps us grounded (Owen Wilson, Jonathan Majors, and an alligator almost steal the show from Tom Hiddleston in some eps), but while Falcon lasted an episode or two too long, Loki could’ve used a few more to flesh out its complicated plot and develop its characters. Thankfully, the jokes matter almost as much as the sci-fi, so you can still have fun even if you have no idea what’s going on.

9. Double Feature – Bruce Willis: Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995) + The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

Before Bruce Willis began starring in many random direct-to-DVD movies I only ever hear about in my Redbox emails, he was a Movie Star smirking his way up the box office charts. In the third Die Hard (Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), he teams up with Samuel L. Jackson to decipher the riddles of a terrorist madman (Jeremy Irons), and it’s a thrill ride. In The Whole Nine Yards (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), he’s hitman that screws up dentist Matthew Perry’s boring life in Canada, and—aside from one frustrating scene of let’s-objectify-women-style nudity—it’s hilarious.

10. This Is the End (2013)

On paper, this is not a movie for me. An irreverent stoner comedy about a bunch of bros partying it up before the end of the world? None of things are for Taylors. But with a little help of a TV edit to pare down the raunchy and crude bits, I laughed my way through and spent the next several days thinking through its exploration of what makes a good person. While little of the plot is accurate to Christian Gospel and theology, some of its big ideas are consistent enough with the themes of the book of Revelation I found myself thinking about it again in church this morning. (Would love to know if Seth Rogen ever expected that.) Plus, I love a good self-aware celebrity spoof—can’t tell you how many times I’ve just laughed remembering the line, “It’s me, Jonah Hill, from Moneyball”—and an homage to horror classics. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10

July Critic Picks

1. Summer of Soul (…or, When the Television Could Not Be Televised) (2021)

Even director Questlove didn’t know about the Harlem Cultural Festival, but now he’s compiled the footage so we can all enjoy one of the coolest music fest lineups ever, including The 5th Dimension, B.B. King, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Nina Simone, Sly and the Family Stone, and Stevie Wonder, who made my friend’s baby dance more than once in the womb. See it on the big screen for top-notch audio. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

2. Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

Robin Williams takes on the bureaucracy, disillusionment, and malaise of the Vietnam War with comedy. Williams was a one-of-a-kind talent, and here it’s on display at a level on par with Aladdin. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

3. Against the Rules Season 2 (2020-21)

Michael Lewis (author of Moneyball, adapted into a film starring Jonah Hill), is interested in how we talk about fairness. This season he looks at how coaches impact fairness in areas like college admissions, credit cards, and youth sports. 

4. Bugsy Malone (1976)

A gangster musical starring only children? It’s a little like someone just picked ideas out of a hat, but somehow it works. You can hear why in the Bugsy Malone episode Kyla and I released this month on SO IT’S A SHOW?, plus how this weird artifact of a film connects with Gilmore Girls.

5. The Queen (2006)

Before The Crown, Peter Morgan wrote The Queen, focusing on Queen Elizabeth II (Helen Mirren) in the days following the death of Princess Diana. It’s a complex and compassionate drama, both for the Queen and for Prime Minister Tony Blair (Michael Sheen, who has snuck up on me to become a favorite character actor). Maybe I’ve got a problem, but I’ll never tire of the analysis of this famous family. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

6. The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972)

This month at ZekeFilm, we took a closer look at Revisionist Westerns we’ve missed. I fell hard for Roy Bean, and I think you will, too, if for no other reason than you might like a story starring Jacqueline Bisset, Ava Gardner, John Huston, Paul Newman, and Anthony Perkins. Oh, and a bear! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10

7. New Trailer Round Up

Naked Singularity (Aug. 6) – John Boyega in a crime thriller!

Queenpins (Aug. 10) – A crime comedy about extreme coupon-ing!

Dune (Oct. 1) – I’ve been cooler on the anticipation for this film, but this new look has me cautiously intrigued thanks to the Bardem + Bautista + Brolin + Chalamet + Ferguson + Isaac + Momoa + Zendaya of it all.

The Last Duel (Oct. 15) – Affleck! Damon! Driver!

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (Nov. 11) - I’m not sure why we need this, but I’m down for the Paul Rudd + Finn Wolfhard combo

King Richard (Nov. 19) - Will Smith as Venus and Serena’s father!

Encanto (Nov. 24) – Disney and Lin-Manuel Miranda making more magic together!

House of Gucci (Nov. 24) - Gaga! Pacino! Driver! 

Also in July…

Kyla and I took a look at the classic supernatural soap Dark Shadows and why Sookie might be obsessed with it on Gilmore Girls.

I revisited a so-bad-it’s-good masterpiece that’s a surrealist dream even Fellini couldn’t have cooked up. Yes, for ZekeFilm I wrote about the Vanilla Ice movie, Cool as Ice, which is now a part of my Blu-ray collection.

Photo credits: Against the Rules. All others IMDb.com.

#Round Up #Mystery Date #The Pallbearer #The Tomorrow War #Dream a Little Dream #Black Widow #Liar Liar #Bugsy Malone #Sob Rock #John Mayer #Sob Rock John Mayer #The Sum of All Fears #State of Play #Loki #The Whole Nine Yards #Summer of Soul #Good Morning Vietnam #Against the Rules #The Life and Time of Judge Roy Bean #Die Hard With a Vengeance #This Is the End #The Queen