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headspace-hotel · 3 months

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Just spent a couple hours digging into this book. I'm not even sure what has worse environmental impacts, the paper the book is made of or the opinions printed within.

Is "post-colonial" literary theory a joke? It's distressing that a book printed in 2021 by a reputable academic press can be so painfully Eurocentric, and I mean PAINFULLY. The philosophical and literary frameworks drawn upon in most chapters are like what some British guy in 1802 would come up with. In most of the chapters, every framework, terminology, and example is inseparably fused to Latin, Greek, and/or Christian philosophers, myths and texts, even down to the specific turns of phrase. You would think only Europeans had history or ideas until the 20th century.

Don't get me wrong, non-european and even specifically anti-colonial sources are used, and I don't think all the writers are white people, but...that's what's so weird and off-putting about it, most of the book as a whole utterly fails to absorb anything from non-European and in particular anti-colonial points of view. The chapters will quote those points of view but not incorporate them or really give their ideas the time of day, just go right back to acting like Plato and Aristotle and Romantic poets are the gold standard for defining what it means to be human.

In brief, the book is trying to examine how literature can shed light on the climate crisis, which is funny because it completely fails to demonstrate that literature is good or helpful for the climate crisis. Like that is for sure one major issue with it, it shows that people *have* written stuff about climate change, but it sure doesn't convince you that this stuff is good.

Most of the works quoted are rather doomerist, and a lot of the narrative works specifically are apocalypse tales where most of Earth's population dies. The most coherent function the authors can propose that literature fulfills is to essentially help people understand how bad things are. One of the essays even argues that poetry and other creative work that simply appreciates nature is basically outdated, because:

“One could no longer imagine wandering lonely as a cloud, because clouds now jostle in our imaginations with an awareness of atmospheric concentrations of carbon dioxide and other atmospheric pollutants” (Mandy Bloomfield, pg. 72)

Skill issue, Mandy.

The menace of doomerism in fiction and poetry is addressed, by Byron Caminero-Santangelo, on page 127 when he references,

the literary non-fiction of a growing number of authors who explicitly assert, some might even say embrace, the equation between fatalistic apocalyptic narrative and enlightenment…they are authoritative in their rejection of any hope and in their representation of mitigatory action as the cliched moving of deckchairs on a sinking ship

He quotes an essay “Elegy for a country’s seasons” by Zadie Smith, who says: “The fatalists have the luxury of focusing on an eschatological apocalyptic narrative and on the nostalgia of elegy, as well as of escape from uncertainty and responsibility to act." Which is spot-on and accurate, but these observations aren't recognized as a menace to positive action, nor is the parallel to Christian thought that eagerly looks forward to Earth's destruction as a cathartic release from its pain made fully explicit and analyzed. Most of the creative works referenced and quoted in the book ARE this exact type of fatalistic, elegiac performance of mourning.

I basically quit reading after Chapter 11, "Animals," by Eileen Crist, which begins:

The humanization of the world began unfolding when agricultural humans separated themselves from wild nature, and started to tame landscapes, subjugate and domesticate animals and plants, treat wild animals as enemies of flocks and fields, engineer freshwater ecologies, and open their psyches to the meme of the ‘the human’ as world conquerer, ruler and owner.

This is what I'm talking about when I say it's dripping Eurocentrism; these ideas are NOT universal, and it's adding nothing to the world to write them because they fall perfectly in line with what the European colonizing culture already believes, complete with the lingering ghost of a reference to the Fall of Man and banishment from the Garden of Eden. It keeps going:

“Over time, the new human elaborated a view of the animal that ruptured from the totemic, shamanic and relational past.”

Okay so now she's introducing the idea of progression from shamanic nature-worshipping religions of our primitive past...hmm I'm sure this isn't going anywhere bad

“While humanity has largely rejected the colonizing project with respect to fellow humans, the occupation of non-human nature constitutes civilization’s last bastion of ‘normal’ colonialism. A new humanity is bound sooner or later to recognize and overthrow a colonialism of ‘nature,’ embracing a universal norm of interspecies justice.” (pg. 206)

OKAY????

Not only denying that colonialism still exists, but also saying that humans' relationship with nature constitutes colonialism??

Embracing limitations means scaling down the human presence on demographic and economic fronts…(pg.207)

ope, there's the "we have to reduce the human population"

Embracing limitations further mandates pulling back from vast expanses of the natural world, thus letting the lavishness of wild (free) nature rule Earth again” (pg. 207)

aaaaaaand there's the "we have to remove humans from wild nature so it can be freeeeeee"

don't get me wrong like I am a random white person with no particular expertise in anti-colonialist thought but I think this is an easy one. I'm pretty sure if your view of nature is that colonialism involving subjugating humans doesn't exist any more and actually humans existing in and altering nature is the real colonialism so we should remove humans from vast tracts of earth, your opinion is just bad.

Anyways y'all know I have an axe to grind against doomerism so it was probably obvious where this was going but good grief.

#climate #climate doomerism

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mothocean · 5 months

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Fuck it. Steampunk era new albion tumblr

⚙️ mcallisterindustries Follow

Today is the 40th anniversary of the death of my beloved mother, Annabel Mcallister, whose passion for science has inspired me since i was a young boy. Without her, the memory of her death aching in my heart, driving me to pursue a way to bring back those lost to time, Mcallister Industries wouldn't be where it is today. To honor her memory, we are holding a 30% sale on all new doll models, and a 1+1 deal on reanimating newly dead loved ones! Call 1-DOLL-800 to find out more about upcoming sales and order your loved one's new doll body today!

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💀 voodoopunk-official Follow

We're meeting again at the crossroads tonight!! Bring your doll-ay doll-ay spirit!

- Mod B

#voodoopunk #vote voodoopunk we dance with you on your graves

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💀 voodoopunk-official Follow 🔁 averagealbioncitizen Follow

🤵 averagealbioncitizen Follow

man can these dolls play literally anything else. i keep retuning my granny's radio but it always plays that elysian night song :(((

🔁 💀 voodoopunk-official Follow

You just don't get it like we do

- mod A

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🟥 redhairedbisexual Follow 🔁 redhairedbisexual

🟥 redhairedbisexual Follow

my bro died so i have to take over the family business now :(( anyway hmu if you need anything special iykyk 😜🤙💯

🔁 🟥 redhairedbisexual Follow

update: who tf keeps stealing our stock im gonna fucking bootleg doll you

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👑 aliceinfutureland Follow

made some progress today :) the angels will be proud

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🤖 doll34221543 Follow 🔁 doll356857543 Follow

🌠 newalbionmayor-official Follow

Elysium, the silent sighed lost lullaby...

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💀 voodoopunk-official Follow 🔁 bi-bye-byron Follow

🕶 destroy-da-dollz-deactivated

🔁 🎩 bi-bye-byron Follow

JASPERSWEEP

🔁 👯‍♀️ dykes4dolls Follow

What a self own lmao

🔁 💞 dollay-darling Follow

op did u really think people were gonna vote against the doll? On the voodoopunk website?

🔁 🕶 destroy-da-dollz-deactivated

'voodoopunk website' up my ass y'all let the power get to your head. You fucking rusty ass stoner cultists ain't gonna last here

🔁 💀 voodoopunk-official Follow

THEY DEACTIVATED HAHA GET REKT

- mod B

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🕶 crossroads-acolyte-deactivated

My dad's been really terrible lately... at least i have the dolls to comfort me

🔁 🕶 crossroads-acolyte-deactivated

Their song is so beautiful... if only i could join them...

🔁 🕶 crossroads-acolyte-deactivated

Elysium, the silent sighed lost lullaby

Elysian night

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🤵 averagealbioncitizen Follow 🔁 voodoopunk-official Follow

💀 voodoopunk-official Follow

With great agony, we announce the passing of one of our dear members. Mod A, also known as Acolyte Amelia, you will be missed.

- Mod B

🔁 🤵 averagealbioncitizen Follow

I KNEW THOSE DOLLS WERE PROBLEMATIC FROM THE START UGH... don't support the voodoopunks they're lying to you #killthedolls #antivoodoopunk

🔁 💀 voodoopunk-official Follow

Amelia didn't die because of the dolls dumbass you're just using her death as a means to further your stupid political agenda smh 🙄

- Mod B

🔁 🤵 averagealbioncitizen Follow

AND YOU AREN'T???

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🚫 destroy-da-dollz-remade Follow

I FUCKING TOLD YOU GUYS

#anti voodoopunk #kill the dolls #i fucking said it from the start but y'all didn't LISTEN

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🤵‍♀️ kate-the-nyarrator

can anyone even hear me

#dolls of new albion #room beneath new albion #shaperaverse #fake tumblr post #fake post #unreality cw #unreality #i wanted to add more things but i could put only 10 dividers 😔 maybe I'll make a sequel someday #also if it wasn't clear edgar is lying abt his motive in the first post i didn't misremember the plot of the album #roseflower.txt

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pearl-tarotist · 1 year

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ೄྀ࿐ First impressions; what will your future spouse think of you?

"People themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them forever".

ਊ→ Chose a pic of the first line to know your spouse's first impression of you. (PILE 1-2-3)

Pile 1

Ace of cups, 2 of wands, 5 of swords, page of cups + king of wands

Your future spouse will see you as someone extremely lovely. Someone that is nurturing, good and emotionally available. They will see you as an emotional person because they will realize that those emotions are easily portrayed in your face and are easy to define. At your first encounter you will be an open book for them and they will easily realize the state/mentality that you have.

They will see you as someone with a lot of ambitions and dreams as it is probable that you will encounter him/her/them in the middle of forming/working in one of those dreams, probably something new that has to do with a trip/expansion of your comfort zone. They will realize how much strength and passion you put into them and they will think you are a fighter for those dreams, you will look like someone that won't give up or bow to anyone. They see resistance and a little bit of stubbornness from you.

It's probable that your personality or actions at the moment inspire and make her/him/them happy. You could remind them a bit of their own feelings, the pure and innocent ones. You will be a blast of fresh air for them.

In general, the impression that they will have of you is someone young that's not scared to go behind their dreams. Someone beautiful and cute, innocent even, that's starting to stablish the bases of something bigger. Probably, this person will be older than you and that's why they see you as this at the beginning. They will also realize that you probably have a lot of friends, that you are quite popular or that you have a lot of power in your social circle.

She Walks in Beauty (by lord byron)

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,//So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,//The smiles that win, the tints that glow,//But tell of days in goodness spent,//A mind at peace with all below,//A heart whose love is innocent!

M.list/Paid readings

PILE 2

The Hermit, Ace of cups, Ace of wands, 3 of swords + 2 of cups

Your future spouse may think you are more of an introvert, he/she/they will feel that you are not letting yourself to be seen fully and freely.

Your fs will feel that even if you are being nice and polite, to get to know you they will have to pass certain tests that they do not even know in what consists. They will realize that you do not let people easily into your life and that probably you see yourself above some type of people (it's not a bad thing in this case because you will just be aware of which type of people you want to hold a relationship with and of which type of people you don't).

So, you will look more guarded for him and to a point, hurt. AS you will present yourself in a more introvert way; more guarded to form new friendships and relationships, he will think that it comes from bad experiences, a sad story. As if you had your heart broken or in pain.

And I think your future spouse will see you trying so hard to meet new people and be friendly and nice that when seeing the sadness in your eyes, your fs will want to be friends or to start a relationship with you just to stop you from trying anymore.

Like, "Darling, it's okay. Let me be your friend and you will have to stop doing what you hate so much, that it is being sociable...".

It could sound pitiful but your future spouse will not think like that, it's interest more than pity because they will see you in a nice and positive light what makes them interested in getting to know you more and better. Kind of like a damsel in distress. Their interest for you comes good intentions, mutual respect and in a small part because of sexual desire.

Lana del Rey - Sad Girl.

M.list/Paid readings

PILE 3

The emperor, 6 of swords, king of swords, the wheel of fortune, the high priest

Your future spouse will see you as someone that has everything under control, someone that has high self-esteem and that's the boss. They will think that you're someone really strict but also with a lot of skills, knowledge and someone that easily gets rid off of what's not useful for them anymore. You will be in total control of a new change and transformation that you will be going through. It's possible that you don't even realize that you're going through this transformation but your future spouse will notice.

What I see is that this transformation or the origin of this transformation has made you be more professional logical and way mental.

Your future spouse will see you as someone professional, logical and mental and this impression comes out of admiration. They think you are someone really clever and wise, able to produce a lot of benefitial changes in their environment

They think you're good and if they could ask for your advice they think you would give them the best idea ever.

In your first meeting it looks like you will truly impress them with your skills, knowledge, professionalism and your easiness to let what does not benefit you behind. They will see a capable woman, not just a little girl.

M.list/Paid readings

#Spotify #pac #pac tarot #pick a pile #pick a picture #tarot reading #love tarot #love tarot reading #future spouse reading #future spouse #first impressions tarot

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the-crooked-library · 3 months

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"You and I Have Begun to Blur"

This is eating my brain from inside, so here's the thing: one of my favourite aspects of Hannigram as a ship is their balance - the way they mirror and complete each other, functionally two halves of the same whole; but what is even more fascinating is that, in a literary sense, Hannibal and Will are, in fact, inspired by two opposing aspects of the same man.

It all begins (like many other things) with Lord Byron; specifically, the summer he spent with a group of friends at Villa Diodati in Geneva, and the dare, that each member of the group would write a ghost story - one of which was Dr. Polidori's The Vampyre. This novella, which introduced the vampire legend to Western popular culture, defined its archetypes for centuries to come; and as such, Polidori's Lord Ruthven, who was based on Lord Byron, became a blueprint.

He is dark, foreign, seductive, dangerous, hypnotizing, hedonistic, possessive; his relationship with the main character, Aubrey, is markedly homoerotic - and these qualities endure as the archetype is passed down the generations. From Ruthven, we get Carmilla, Dracula, Lestat - and, indeed, Hannibal Lecter.

From this:

To this:

he is still, recognizably, a Byronic villain. Whether he operates within an overtly supernatural genre, or a psychological thriller, he is still confident, dominant, manipulative, and always representative of forbidden (queer, interracial, extramarital, etc) desire and temptation.

However, The Vampyre was not the only piece written for the same dare, not the only piece that left a legacy within popular horror, and, most importantly for this context, not the only piece that featured a Byronic character. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein introduced a second such archetype into the gothic genre - inspired by her own understanding of Lord Byron; so, while her Victor Frankenstein shares the same dark hair and pallor as Polidori's Ruthven, there is an ocean of differences between the two.

Victor Frankenstein is a Tortured Genius. He is odd and wild, passionate, prone to isolation; a misfit from the start, always lonely despite the few connections he has, and never truly understood. His intellect is both a gift and the source of his ruin, and he is plagued, in equal measure, by both pride and guilt.

In both looks and character, he passes almost unchanged - from this:

To this:

Even centuries later, he is still the smartest man in the room, he is always tormented, and his counterpart is always a Monster. We see him pop up throughout horror media - as poets, composers, detectives - reflected in Edgar Allan Poe's Roderick Usher, Lovecraft's Henry Wilcox, or Spencer Reid of Criminal Minds. Unlike those of Ruthven's lineage, these people are usually either frail or sickly, socially awkward, uncertain of themselves except for a specific area of expertise, and their sanity commonly tends to be in question.

Despite such differences, though, all these characters are Lord Byron's legacy, weaving their way through history - on the page, on the stage, on the screen, it matters not. By the time they meet again in NBC's Hannibal, they are as separate as two entities can be - yet entwined more closely than any other genre would allow.

Frankly, it drives me feral.

There is so much here to unpack - they are a whole, and yet separate, each with his own archetypal history. Does something within Will Graham's bones remember Frankenstein when he stands in the forensic lab, surrounded by corpses?.. On the Doylist level, does that inform the acting - however subconsciously - in any way?.. Does Count Hannibal Lecter have Lord Ruthven's smile - or Lord Byron's?.. Does he know?

How much is reality?

How much is fiction?

How much is lost through interpretation? How much is remembered? How much does anyone ever really Know us, truly, when two of Byron's closest friends saw entirely different people in him?

I don't know. We can never know. What is evident, though, is that Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham are two halves of the same soul - and that this soul aches to be complete.

#hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #dracula #victor frankenstein #gothic fiction #gothic #gothic literature #literature #history #nbc hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannibal meta #hannibal analysis

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forthegothicheroine · 2 days

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@gehayi said: can you please tell us more about Israel Rank?

POV: We are at a slumber party and I am kicking my feet and giggling and telling you about the boy I like.

"Oh my god, his name is Israel Rank, and he's from a book called Israel Rank: Autobiography of a Criminal, and he is so hot! The musical A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder, and the movie Kind Hearts and Coronets were both based on the book, but they made him other things besides Jewish, which is so bogus. Roger Ebert said it made the story more 'universal', which I guess means half-Italian is more universal than half-Jewish, which, what the fuck?

Anyway, he's the worst person in the world and I love him. He's like Heathcliff plus Steerpike plus Edmund the Bastard. He's the really distant relative of and earl, and his mother was disinherited for marrying a Jewish man. Israel isn't technically Jewish, he was baptized and raised Anglican, but he looks Jewish- and also really hot, and he says that combination upsets people! Kind of an Adrian Brody thing? I would have cast Ezra Miller before they turned out to be a shitshow of a person. And his name is Israel, kind of as a fuck you to mom's family. So he decides if people are going to give him shit about it anyway, he's going to embrace it.

He's in love with this girl Sibella, who won't marry him because he's both half-Jewish and poor, so starting as a hypothetical lark he wonders if he could just murder every single family member between him and an earldom. And then he does it! After sexual fantasies about Lucrezia Borgia encouraging him to! What an absolute freak.

So he starts killing, and his narration is so dry and funny about it. He tells the reader that in his experience, Jews aren't all that violent- he speculates that Shylock would have walked back the pound of flesh if he'd had time to calm down- but he has the blood of evil rapacious noblemen on his non-Jewish side which are to blame. He kills most of his family, except for the cousin-in-law whom he marries. He also still love Sibella. And his wife! He just can't stop fucking, he's so awful! (And I think he's bisexual. At least, I don't know how else I'm supposed to interpret the part where he's in school and "the boy I loved chose me as his Jonathan.")

And he gets away with it! He's super popular at his trial because he's so handsome and charming and the same society that scorned him, now that he's an earl, gossips that his Jewish ancestry must be very slight and distant. And there's a twist that gets him off the hook which is actually a real bummer of a plot point, even he's bummed out by it, but it's such a perfect capper to a life of cruelty.

Honestly, I do get why none of the adaptations keep the half-Jewish thing, they're probably afraid it would seem antisemitic, but in my opinion it's a real shame because it's so central to his character and I think I do want a sexy Jewish Byronic antihero. He's the worst. I love him. I would marry him. I would immediately divorce him. His favorite book is Emma!"

For a more academic discussion, I did a podcast episode on him way back when!

#israel rank #jewish

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george-weasleys-girl · 10 months

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Act Like You Mean It

Start here:

Chapter 2

Summary: George and Y/N are oblivious idiots in love who agree to fake date in the attempt to drive away Y/N's unwanted suitor.

~•~

George Weasley x Fem!reader

~•~

George stepped in between Y/N and Byron, "Back off Montcroix!" He snarled. "She's my girl now."

Byron's eyes widened, and then he burst out laughing. "You can't be serious," he shifted his gaze back to Y/N. "A Weasley, Y/N? You're dating a fucking Weasley?"

"Yeah, so what of it?" Y/N raised her chin and stepped closer to George.

Montcroix stopped laughing and crossed his arms. "Are you trying to make me jealous, darling?"

George's whole body went rigid, and Y/N saw his right hand ball into a fist. Shit. She needed to calm him down. And fast. He was not going to get detention over this second-rate wannabe Casanova.

"Don't flatter yourself, Montcroix," she said, placing her hand over George's white-knuckled fist. "And don't call me darling."

Montcroix rolled his eyes and snorted. "Of course... babe."

Y/N wasn't certain, but she thought she heard George growl. And then he took a step forward.

"Ooh, somebody's getting feisty," Byron taunted. "Better keep your guard dog on a tighter leash before he gets himself hurt."

"Shut up, Montcroix," Y/N pulled on George's arm. "C'mon love. He's not worth it. Let's just go."

George refused to budge until Y/N shoved her hand into his, interlocking their fingers. He froze and looked down at their clasped hands, then up to her, his eyes wide.

"C'mon, Georgie," she said. "Let's go."

"Go? Oh. Okay," he mummered. "Yeah."

Montcroix was still mouthing off as they walked away, but neither she nor George heard a word of it.

~•~

"Th - that was a smart move," George stammered, glancing back down at their clasped hands.

"Um, thanks. It was a spur of the moment thing."

George nodded, and they walked along in silence for a bit. People watched them as they passed, some congratulated them, others just stared.

"You know, um, we should probably, you know, hold hands more." George's voice was soft, almost meek.

Y/N stumbled at his words, and George reached out to steady her. "You ok, love?"

"Y-you want to hold my hand?" She blurted out before she could stop herself.

"Oh, um..." He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes darting down. "Well, know you as friends. To make all this look real."

"Oh. Right." Y/N pasted on a smile. "Of course, as friends."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course," he reiterated. "Nothing more."

Y/N nodded just a little too vehemently and looked away.

After a few awkward moments of them looking everywhere but at each other, George offered his hand. "So, umm, shall we?"

"Oh, yeah." Y/N shook herself and fumbled her hand back into his. "Can't stand here all day, can we?"

George shook his head, giving her a half smile before they continued on their way, hand in hand. If either of them noticed the other trembling or holding on a little tighter than before, they made no mention of it.

~•~

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @xmjthewitchx @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @samberriejams @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @mrsgweasley @hufflepuffie @morally-grey-obsessed @fredweasleyyyyy @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @hmisa11 @superduckmilkshake @mysticsheepsoul @gemofthenight @1lellykins @junerprsh @sierraluvz @wolfkill16 @kaysau2510 @qmylovexoxo @planetkt @costheticbabe @drama-queen-fromthevault @thatonepersonwhocantwrite @smallsweetvanillabean @igncrantbliss @mchlist @adangerousbalance @thankyouforanonymity @mizu-soup @patriciamatezz @futureweasleywife

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x fem!reader #george weasley fic #george weasley headcanon #george weasley x you #george weasley imagines #george weasley fluff #george weasley angst

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smartycvnt · 1 year

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Dreamy

Title: Dreamy Pairing: Cody Rhodes x Reader Prompt: 14. "Stop looking at me like that, people might get the impression you're soft." R WC: 890

"And I'm standing here backstage with the newly signed hardcore legend herself, Y/n Y/l/n. Y/n, whenever Triple H announced your signing, you said that you came here with a mission. What exactly is that mission?" Byron asked the woman standing across from him. Nobody would have ever known that the two were old friends from Y/n's FCW days whenever she had just been starting out. Especially not from the way that she looked at Byron like he was small, puny, and pathetic. That was the way that Y/n looked at most of her fellow peers on the roster, both male and female. There were a few excceptions, but it wasn't like anybody was allowed to talk about the things that they used to be before WWE.

"Byron, I could stand here and threaten or bully you, but I won't. Damage CTRL, Judgement Day, hell, even Corey Graves made himself look tougher by picking on you. That's the difference between those groups and me, I know where my strengths lie and I don't bother picking on the weak to make myself look better. I don't stand around in a ring making ridiculous promo after promo about how I'm going to revitalize the women's division. I'll be standing in out in that ring ready to take on any competitor that wants me, not for any championship belt, but something that used to be worth a lot more than any belt. Let this be a message to every single person on the roster, male or female, if you want my respect, you know where to find me," Y/n said sternly. She dropped her hand and started to walk away as the cameras cut.

"Hey, before you go!" Byron called out after her. "It's good to have you back here. I'm glad they came to their senses about signing you as yourself."

"Thanks Saxton, take care of yourself man," Y/n told him. She walked away after that and headed straight for the ring. People would go crazy over the way that she just sat there cross-legged. Every little thing that Y/n did was always scrutinized by fans who thought they knew her motivations better than her. Nobody could break apart her character or the choices made whenever she was in the ring. Y/n never let anything be noticed that she didn't want to.

Y/n waited for her first opponent to show, and was surprised when it was one of the lower card women thought to be jobbers. Y/n had no qualms with working with those women, especially the home-grown ones. That was how the show went for weeks, Y/n would place herself in the ring during a commercial break and then someone would answer the call whenever she got back. Sometimes, they moved on after one match, but not always. Y/n liked the women who kept coming back for more, just to see what they could do with a talent like Y/n's. Slowly but surely, Y/n worked her way across all of WWE's shows until it became a game to guess where Y/n would show up and when. She couldn't remember the last time that she had been on Raw as she walked away from her match against Natalya.

"How are you feeling?" Cody asked as he rushed over to help her backstage. Y/n was limping, a side effect of having been submitted by the Sharpshooter. Some people would have bitched and whined about losing to Nattie, but Y/n respected the woman. Quite a few of Y/n's own submission moves had been learned from the blonde woman during their time at FCW together. "Do you need to get some ice for your knee?"

"No Cody, I do not need any ice. I'm fine, not every match can be a win. Besides, how can I complain when I know where my next feud is going?" Y/n asked him. Cody looked around, as if he was scared that people were watching them. "What's wrong?"

"Stop looking at me like that, people might get the impression that you're soft," Cody joked. Y/n smacked his chest as she walked past him. "Are you ready for Texas?"

"No, but I will be. This is huge, my first feud in WWE. No offense, but I don't think I've ever been so excited before," Y/n said. Cody's brows furrowed as he tried to think of what would have been offensive about that before he looked down at the diamond ring on Y/n's finger. They were going to be married soon, sometime after the next Royal Rumble, but before WrestleMania. If everything went according to plan, that match would be even bigger than his match against Roman, and hopefully with more favoring odds. "She's my hero Cody, this is a dream come true."

"I thought Mickie James was your hero." Cody crossed his arms as he looked down at Y/n. "Come to think on it, you've wrestled quite a few of your heroes."

"Yeah, but do you know how badly I wanted to beat up Michelle McCool when I was younger?" Y/n asked him. Cody chuckled as he nudged the two of you further backstage. "I know now that she's nice, but the sentiment still stands."

#cody rhodes #cody rhodes x reader #wwe #wwe x reader #my writing

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waywardmillennial · 7 days

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watchergate & where we go from here...

To start at the end, I purchased my annual Watcher TV subscription on April 20th because I wanted to support them when it felt like so many others were not. I'm cancelling another subscription to make this work with my budget, and I'm very happy with this!

Watcher has always made high quality, entertaining content that I love, and I'm happy to support them as they try to grow like they've always wanted to so they can bring on more creators and give us more diverse art.

So, moving forward, I'm going to be posting about Watcher TV when it comes out - spoiler parties with the sexy moots! - and I'll be blocking any and all haters I see. 💜💜💜

(read more bc ofc this got long)

To walk this back and give a little history/context, *ahem* [sotto Byron voice]

April 12, 2024: Watcher announced they had a surprise coming for us in a week's time. The news came in the form of a very spirited ad-read in the Mystery Files s2 finale. And afterwards there were a few blogs posting about it, but I commented to a friend that my dash had been devoid of Watcher posts (oh, how that sweet summer child would grow to long for a day such as that).

There were some corkboard theories, and I broke down the new logo design, but nothing big happened until the following Thursday.

April 18, 2024: I saw the leak for the announcement. It was on reddit and a sock tumblr blog was made sending the link out to people. I didn't post it or share it because it wasn't my news to share. I wanted to wait to see how they were going to explain it.

Maybe I should have said at the time (but it's fine if you don't believe me now I guess) but I was hoping Watcher TV would become like their enhanced Patreon replacement, where the new shows like "Puppet History Karaoke" and "Road Files" would be exclusive, and some other perks like early access. [note: if Apollo is laughing at him right now, I'd kindly request he stuff that red ball somewhere Helios doesn't shine]

I imagined some people would be mad at the streaming news but it didn't prepare me for how bad it would get...

April 19, 2024: Most of us know what happened. The announcement was not well received. Watcher's silence right after wasn't helping, but I don't think many people were willing to give them any grace for their pre-planned trip to the UK and instead demanded answers immediately.

Do I think maybe their announcement could have been timed better? Or maybe given a different tone? Perhaps. But either way what they were trying to communicate was not what people chose to hear, and the response from many viewers was, to choose a very formal phrase here, absolute bonker banana balls insane.

The main anti-streamer "arguments" I saw basically boiled down into these categories:

"high production tv quality content is what they want to make, but we don't want that - we only want them to sit in a blank room and talk to each other with blue and yellow text like the bfu days!!"

"Steven's the one behind all this bc he's rich and greedy and only eats gold"

"they already make enough money off their patreon why are they doing this?? they should have consulted [insert other yt-er here]"

"they've become the capitalist elite that we swore to destroy! so we have to tear them down from their thrones!!"

Even now, feeling better than I have in days, I don't have the energy to say why each of those takes completely misses the point of who they are as a company, as creators, and as human beings. But there are some eloquent posts in my #watchergate tag, or my other post, if you're interested.

April 22, 2024: We got the Watcher update - giving people access to all videos after a month on the new streamer - and that seemed to placate a lot of viewers and those on the fence. But it was also the day I learned about that horrible petition against Steven, and I'd been following all this drama for several days (foregoing some self-care) and so I had a little meltdown...

Even though the new setup is closer to what I'd hoped for like 10 days ago, I hate how we arrived at it. It's shown people that they can bully creators to get them to compromise on their company. In fact, I've seen accounts celebrating this.

Opinions like this have given me trust issues when it comes to the Watcher fandom at large now. As many of my beloved mutuals have said, I'm going to be wary of accounts that follow me and be applying that blocking feature liberally.

I can also only imagine how things like this must have broken some of the trust that the Watcher crew feels for us - fightingfuries really said it best. If they do start distancing themselves on socials and things, I wouldn't really blame them.

I don't have more to say, other than I'm going to support them as much as I can, for as long as they continue to make content. I'm going to send the team a care package. And I hope in time we'll earn back their trust.

Now I'll let Ryan Bergara play me out...

As for the question of why we decided to launch our own platform, when we started Watcher in 2020, we wanted to create shows that we were proud of, that we had ownership over, and that would provide you the caliber of content that we felt you deserved. However, we were finding it harder and harder to stay relevant to advertisers and the constantly changing YouTube landscape. We faced some incredibly challenging decisions. We didn't want to compromise our content to ensure they met advertising requirements. And we definitely did not want to lay people off that have brought Watcher to life behind the scenes. And we didn't want to bring Watcher to a close, which would have happened if we stayed solely on YouTube. - An Update, April 22, 2024

#watchergate #I needed to wrap up some feelings #but closing the tag now #onto posting about happier things!#and I have a little idea/project I want to work on next for any of you who are watcher tv members #vi rants #we now return to my normally scheduled queue

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bethanydelleman · 7 months

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Hi! Love your blog :) I saw your previous reply about Jane Austen and cognitive neuroscience and it reminded me of a question I have about Persuasion that still haunts me, which I can't seem to find a definitive answer for on the general internet. So after Louisa is injured, its like she undergoes a pretty massive personality shift, leading up to her falling in love with Captain Benwick etc. My question is, is that change (in your opinion) supposed to be a mental trauma reaction, or more of a physical trauma reaction? Like are we supposed to infer that the brain tissue injury changed her or is it more like, she was in mental shock and also an invalid with plenty of time to brood on her role in things and that's what resulted in her being in a state of mind to love some poetry & Benwick? I do wonder if the total personality change is temporary or permanent, because sometimes people who undergo near-death experiences often have mental trauma-based reactions including apparently 180 degree personality shifts, but those don't last and as they heal from the trauma, they become closer to their older selves. In Louisa's case that would make for an interesting dynamic in her married life with Benwick if she goes back to her earlier personality eventually.

I personally think Louisa and Benwick's marriage is the most questionable one in all of Austen's works! Forget age gaps, no one should be getting married a few months after major brain trauma... I mean unless they were already engaged... maybe.

These are the two quotes about Louisa after the injury that are important here:

She saw no reason against their being happy. Louisa had fine naval fervour to begin with, and they would soon grow more alike. He would gain cheerfulness, and she would learn to be an enthusiast for Scott and Lord Byron; nay, that was probably learnt already; of course they had fallen in love over poetry. The idea of Louisa Musgrove turned into a person of literary taste, and sentimental reflection was amusing, but she had no doubt of its being so. The day at Lyme, the fall from the Cobb, might influence her health, her nerves, her courage, her character to the end of her life, as thoroughly as it appeared to have influenced her fate.

and

He answered rather hesitatingly, “Yes, I believe I do; very much recovered; but she is altered; there is no running or jumping about, no laughing or dancing; it is quite different. If one happens only to shut the door a little hard, she starts and wriggles like a young dab-chick in the water; and Benwick sits at her elbow, reading verses, or whispering to her, all day long.” Anne could not help laughing. “That cannot be much to your taste, I know,” said she; “but I do believe him to be an excellent young man.” “To be sure he is. Nobody doubts it; and I hope you do not think I am so illiberal as to want every man to have the same objects and pleasures as myself. I have a great value for Benwick; and when one can but get him to talk, he has plenty to say. His reading has done him no harm, for he has fought as well as read. He is a brave fellow. I got more acquainted with him last Monday than ever I did before. We had a famous set-to at rat-hunting all the morning in my father’s great barns; and he played his part so well that I have liked him the better ever since.”

So firstly, Louisa was already into the navy and Wentworth, she has retained that interest. However, we will recall that Louisa's interest in the navy sprang to life in moments after meeting the handsome captain. But she's 19 years old, so sudden interests in things that a handsome guy likes are perfectly normal! I'm sure she's learned to appreciate poetry in all the time she had to be quiet and still.

Secondly, what Charles observes is likely lingering effects of brain trauma or what we might call post-concussion syndrome (Louisa had a worse injury than what is commonly called a concussion). Louisa's brain is still healing. She will probably begin to dance again at some point, depending on what damage is long lasting. This is the tricky thing with brains, permanent damage can be extremely varied. One person ends up with aphasia (trouble speaking), another with ataxia (trouble with muscle coordination), and a third with memory problems and so on. However, Louisa is young and her brain is still plastic (adaptable); hopefully she will recover completely without deficits.

Lastly, I included the part about Benwick being a great rat-hunter because we have to remember, he's not all poetry. He is in the navy, he is apparently competent to be promoted so early and we know he has a good fortune. He's a good guy, he's passionate, I'm sure he wants to make his wife happy.

So... I think they'll be fine. Louisa was going to mature no matter what, Benwick is a good person, and they will grow more alike. If not, navy wives weren't always able to travel with their husbands, so Benwick might be away for long periods of time and Louisa might be home with the kids.

But I still advise anyone to wait at least a year before marrying after a major brain trauma! (semi-expert advice, don't sue me)

#question response #jane austen #louisa musgrove #captain benwick #bad life decisions

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kimkhimhant · 5 months

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WE NEED TO TALK. (Please. I just finished Season 6 again.) They didn't even show El's reaction to you know what. Not even Jones' not even Diana's not even June's. To them, it must have been devastating news. To lose Neal so shortly before his supposed release. They weren't giving him true freedom but they believed they would. They wished it for him. He must have a memorial somewhere and how often does Peter visit it??? To us and to Neal, it was closure, but to everyone else it was a shocking end to a high-profile, but otherwise normal case. To unexpectedly lose a colleague like that, and not just that... NEAL of all people... someone they'd worked with for more than two years... do you think Peter has his picture hanging on the wall next to Siegel's. Do you.

ohmygod ohmygod okay yes please. Its been years and i've rewatched it countless times and i'm still devastated over his loss and how it must have affected everyone. part of me thinks that the show-runners didn't include all of the mourning so that the show wouldn't end on that heavy of a note but !!!! closure !!! PLEASE !

like, he had become family to Peter and El and June, and we see nothing of how the news affects El and June. Neal was someone El loved, dearly, someone who ate meals at their house and who became a constant, welcome presence. He was El's "partner in crime" and the person she'd go to whenever Peter wasn't the suitable option (whether because the issue was concern for Peter, or because she didn't want Peter to worry). She lost a friend, family member (almost lover, depending on if you're into that ship), and on top of that, she lost him while pregnant (with the son they name after neal).

and June? she's left again with a big, quiet empty house afterward, except now she's lost both Byron and Neal. And we don't get to see how she copes with that!! Obviously she has other family, and she still has Mozzie, but it's not the same.

Diana and Jones too of course, almost more so, because they go from spending every week day with Neal, to...an empty desk and Peter's probably all-consuming grief, if the little epilogue is anything to go by (him still faltering, still seeing Neal where he isn't, after so much time has passed). Like, yes he was a colleague, and a pain in the ass colleague at that, but he was also.. the person they'd have drinks with, when their personal lives were falling apart. Neal is the one who helped Diana through the end of her long-term relationship! He's more than just a coworker to these people!

And don't get me started on Sara. "To another time, another life. To another us" Sara, who loved Neal so much she could barely bear Neal's (fake but really real) proposal, and who clearly dreamed of another version of the world where they could be together. Who gives her the news? Does she book the next flight to New York for his funeral? Assuming Neal doesn't immediately seek her out once he's in Europe, she has to cope with losing who she probably considered the love of her life.

And we don't get to see any their grieving process at all. Again, i know a big drawn out funeral doesn't really fit the tone of the show, but it still feels like such a robbery (haha) of an opportunity to see the positive impact Neal had on so many people. In a way, I think it was almost a failing on the show-runners' parts, because it would have continued to humanize Neal in the way that the show had spent all six seasons doing. Like, this is a pathological thief and liar with a mile-long list of crimes, but he is also human and loved and loving!! He has no biological family, but he has become family to almost every person in his life. And then suddenly he's gone and life goes on and we don't know how any of them (aside from Peter and Moz) handle the news of his death. It makes me so sad.

This is getting so long oops. Anyway. He definitely has a memorial, and Peter probably visits so often that El worries (she visits often too, of course, but Peter goes every weekend, at first, and maybe more often on bad days, or when there are cases that make him think of Neal, either because they'd be easier to solve with Neal's help, or because they look like something he'd have done).

Honestly, I'm not sure if Peter would keep Neal's photo next to Siegel's. I think, for the first few months at least, he wouldn't. I think it would hurt too much. Maybe there's one out in the main room by Neal's desk, and once Peter can walk past that one without choking up, he puts one up in his office.

#benji talks #asks #white collar #neal caffrey #peter burke #elizabeth burke #diana berrigan #clinton jones #mozzie

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dayacakrawala · 17 days

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You have no media literacy stop talking about Transformers especially the MTMTE series if you don't understand the way characters especially Megatron is written. He wasn't "Mary sued" he's a flawed character and everyone points that out. Throughout the entire franchise he has always been a redeemable character. He was redeemed in the prime show, in war for cybertron for a bit, and even the bayverse movies would have had him redeemed if the 3rd movie ending wasn't leaked (actually interesting thing that he was supposed to be redeemed but because the ending was leaked it was changed) and there's an ENTIRE SHOW (Earthspark) where he is actively getting redeemed.

Find your media literacy please cause rn it's shit 🙏

Dude, really? This god-forsaken blog has <20 followers (some smell bot to me, ironically), and you are already here. What are you, to just materialize here? A hound of Tindalos?

You know what's the most hilarious? I have an academic degree in media (culture, communication, all this shit), which makes me more media-literate than you and most people you interact with. And Megatron's "redemption arc" is STILL shit to me. To me, who loves villains, glorious bastards, atoning sinners, and byronic heroes.

But you know, you can't just throw a trope or an archetype into your story. It has to fit. If you put a byronic hero in a sitcom, they'll be a walking joke. If you put a byronic hero in a story, taking place in a world, going through the consequences of a grievous war, and their struggles start pushing others' stories and trauma aside, and this hero happens to be an ex-villain… Man, that may result in a tremendous suck.

James Roberts loved his Megatron. He loved him to the point that he made his Optimus Prime the dumbest fool in the known universe. The most unwise in the worst way. He ruined the whole idea of Optimus and Megatron knowing each other, as enemies, the best. One of the best tropes, older than balls but still working. That's why I consider MTMTE Megs a Marty Sue. He's the author's favorite boy, and everything gets sacrificed for his glory.

I'm not gonna analyze the whole list of Megatron's redemptions to show you that things can be done differently. If you're not completely taken by a fictional apple of your eye, you'll see. In Prime, his redemption is put at the end of the show, after his bad religious experience, as "and it was whole another story". Funny, they did it better than some old "serious" media. I can recall reading M. Corelli's "The Sorrows of Satan", where the main character, after slipping from the hands of Satan himself, just continued being a jerk that I really despised.

Ah, it's getting long. Tumblr is not a good place to learn fancy new words like "media literacy". It doesn't teach you how to use them properly. It's better for being a kinky freak, though.

#transformers #mtmte #tfp #megatron

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anystalker707 · 1 year

Text

Infatuation

Pairing: Gerard x Reader Word count: ~ 5 100 Genre: Fluff / Comfort Summary: Mikey's quiet brother catches (y/n)'s attention, and they're up to doing anything to have him fall for them with the help of their friends, Mikey, Ray, and Frank. A/n: another venting fic, tbh, lmao. not proofread.

I was Mikey’s friend. Of course, I had gone to his place a few times, even spent the weekend, but even so, I hardly saw Gerard come out of his room in the basement. He would rarely make an appearance, only showing up when Donna or Elena asked him to do something for her, mainly to bring things from the store down the street.

I could remember clearly the first time I had seen him. After seeing Mikey through the window of the school's restaurant, my interest immediately sparkled at the sight of one of the other alt kids who roamed the school's campus, so I was quick to ask Pete who he was. Mikey happened to be walking by with his brother when Pete and I hung out by the parking lot.

"The Ways?" Pete raised an eyebrow, scratching the back of his head with his gaze on the two males in the distance, talking beside a gray car. "You wanna know who they are? Mikey and his brother?"

A brother. My eyes went past Mikey to observe the pale figure with dark hair. He looked at Mikey mostly expressionless while the younger one moved around frantically, sometimes motioning inside the car, past the open passenger door. He seemed as if he had come out of a romance by Lord Byron, Poe, Shelley, or Stoker, but bathed in the last century's pop culture. Untouchable, in a way because, after all, how was one supposed to approach him? His eyes judged his brother coldly, already, but something made me want to be close to him, someone who would walk into his room uninvited and have him over just because I don't want to be home alone.

"I mean..." I shrugged—what did he mean by that? "Are they nice people?"

Pete hummed. "Very nice! They are from New Jersey, actually. Gerard moved here so he could study in art school and decided to bring Mikey along with him so he can get used to it since Mikey is also looking for a college around the area."

With a quiet hum, I nodded. "I see."

Mikey seemed hard to be friends with, in the beginning, but things ran by quite smoothly. It started with a simple exchange of assignments that slowly turned into sending each other songs then daily talking before Mikey invited me over to his place because he was having a small Halloween gathering. That's when Ray and Frank came around.

That day, Gerard had only left his basement once. Still, even with small appearances like this, it was enough for the small infatuation in my chest to grow each time.

“What does your brother do, Mikey?” I furrowed my eyebrows. Gerard had walked into the house and shortly went to the kitchen, where Mikey and I did our homework, before going down the stairs to the basement with a seemingly heavy box in his hands. The silence had echoed in the room before I questioned him.

Mikey didn’t even look away from his notebook. “Art school.” And he didn’t say anything further.

Gerard had a quiet nature that was quite noticeable, but it also seemed hard to break. The most I had interacted with him was resumed down to asking him for Donna’s phone number so I could message her something regarding Mikey, as she had asked. It earned me a few murmured words before he held his phone out with the contact's profile.

Ray probably noticed my thoughtful form—things barely went unnoticed by him, after all; Ray had quite a talent for knowing everyone in the group to a base level, which had already shown just after a few weeks of friendship. “So, (n/n),” he said as he moved closer, arm wrapping around my shoulders, “what’s in that little mind of yours?”

My cheeks immediately heated up and my eyes averted away because, after all, thinking about this felt so wrong. It didn’t seem like Gerard wanted to be perceived. I gulped, staring at my shoes, my feet hanging from the short wall contouring the square’s flower bed that I sat on top of. Mikey and Frank preferred the bench beside it. It was a quiet afternoon we had decided to hang out, with the rare occurrence of Mikey and I having our afternoon schedules free after the teachers sent us dismissal emails, so Ray decided to take the afternoon off while Frank... just skipped classes.

“I... It’s nothing.” I shook my head, reaching for Frank’s can of Monster so I could take a sip of it, quickly giving it back to him. “I swear, there’s nothing.”

Ray raised an eyebrow, leaning back on the concrete, next to me. “Are you sure? Doesn’t it have anything to do with the sudden curiosity towards Gerard lately?”

Fuck. My face felt even hotter and I struggled to move away with the way he leaned in until he finally pulled away with a chuckle.

“If you’re afraid I’m going to find anything,” Mikey grumbles, “I’m, at minimum, gonna be happy because Gerard isn’t going to be such a sulking fuck all the time. Maybe he and his bedroom would smell less like mold. I mean, not to discourage you, but Gerard—”

“Mikey!” Ray clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes. “Y’know, (y/n), it’s more about... knowing how to deal with someone who got depression and some traumas on his back. I’m not trying to discourage you, it’s just that you might feel intimidated at first, but Gerard is actually a lovely person. You gotta break that first barrier he puts between himself and everything new, but it might be easy since you’re always around and stuff.” He finished with a wide smile. “I believe in you.”

Ray’s words somehow made me feel more flustered but in a good sense. He had such a way to change perspectives of situations—he would often help us sort things out whenever we had any problem. He was sort of an ideal being; he didn’t seem to have any problems, despite the hard times he occasionally went through just like everyone else. There were uncountable times in which he had spontaneously introduced himself to our issues so he could solve them because, according to him, it was his obligation as a friend. Of course, it can be concerning sometimes since he will blame himself for things he has nothing to do with, so we also do our best to help Ray out, and at least try to return a little bit of what he does for us.

His words didn’t discourage me. They had some use when I first grew the courage to walk up to Gerard and talk with him.

“That shirt you have,” I mumbled to Gerard. We were in the kitchen late at night, with the (maybe) fortunate occurrence of having met each other when getting out of bed motivated by thirst. “Is it themed after a movie or a show? Y’know, the one with a helmet. Reminds me of Star Wars.”

I was almost certain Gerard wouldn’t answer, that he would just put his glass in the sink and leave, leaving me in the thick night silence because I was too pathetic.

“The Mandalorian,” Gerard’s soft voice echoed through the room. “It’s a Star Wars spin-off. Do you like Star Wars?”

Something in my chest immediately warmed up as I looked at him for a second, still wondering if I was imagining stuff. “Um, yeah! Mikey and I watch a lot of movies when I’m over... Never got to watch The Mandalorian, though, since we end up mostly rewatching stuff.”

Part of me hoped Gerard would invite me to watch it with him, but of course, it was a step that was too wide yet. Instead, his eyes just fell to the ground before he nodded shortly. “It’s worth it.” His lips pressed into a soft smile at the moment his gaze met mine and the bottom of his glass met the sink in a quiet clicking. “Well, good night.” He walked out of the kitchen in swift steps.

Not surprisingly, Ray was quick to catch onto what was going on.

“What was going on?” He had asked, approaching me after I went silent for a little too long while he and Frank chatted while we hung out at his place. Frank was sitting weirdly on the armchair of the small dorm room while Ray sat next to me on the couch, where I comfortably had my legs tucked close to support my phone. I didn’t hear the question at first, humming confused as my eyes averted to watch Ray leaning closer to glance at my phone’s screen. “Oh, The Mandalorian?” The corner of his lips tugged up, his gaze already making me want to shrink and disappear. “Well, do you know who really likes The Mandalorian? Gerard even has a Din Djarin shirt!”

“Oh, really?” I tried, even if I could already feel my face burning hot. I really didn’t have a single second of peace.

Frank giggled. “Imagine humiliating yourself for a submissive!”

“I’m not humiliating myself!” I paused the episode so I could put my phone down and glared at Frank. “I’m just—” My thoughts just didn’t come up with anything coherent. It must have been so much fun for them.

“You’re troubling yourself with watching that boring stuff just because the submissive you like is a fan! Dunno...” Frank shrugged. “Sounds a little like humiliation, to me. Do you need a dick that bad, (y/n)?” His question was met with silence, of course. Because, like, what was I supposed to say? What could I possibly use as an argument that wouldn’t have Frank dropping sarcastic remarks? He muffled his laughter with his hand, head falling back against the armchair’s cushion.

Hell. It made me feel breathless, in a sort of bad sense. I wanted to escape that, but at the same time, I felt just like a goddamn puddle, unable even to look at anything other than the weird stain at the corner of the screen of Ray’s TV. It had been a while since I had been with someone or at least genuinely attracted to someone, so Gerard was sort of a game-changer. Something important, in two senses. If I did something wrong, it could affect Ray, Mikey, and Frank. On the other hand, it would also break me a little. Liking him so much while knowing so little about him felt so wrong. I sought anything that would get me closer to him.

“Why don’t you text him?” Ray raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t have his phone number,” I mumbled. I wanted to hide, but also for it to go further, for any hint or help that would get me closer to Gerard. “Nor any reason to do so.”

Ray leaned back against the couch with a thoughtful hum, scratching the back of his head ever so carefully so he wouldn’t ruin his curls. “You do. I’ll send you his number and you’ll send him a text, you see. You could ask him to send you the college’s application rules and calendar, telling him I told you to ask him for them since I don’t have the files. Then,” Ray said as he moved closer, his arm over the couch’s backrest, “you can tell him how much you’ve been liking The Mandalorian. Maybe share theories and stuff. He likes that. Thing is, Gerard is really introverted. You gotta talk to him first and all if you want anything."

As much as Ray was a good problem solver and peacemaker, his advice tended to suck, so we would always think twice before doing anything. I couldn’t even think once at the moment; thankfully, Ray wasn’t wrong this time.

Dealing with Gerard was... difficult at first, though it didn’t take me long to catch on how he had the same texting habits as Mikey, extraordinarily. They didn’t answer all of the texts you’d send them nor did they have the read receipts turned on, so it was a little hard to determine whether they did or not read your messages, at first. It was just like talking to a wall, even if he tended to be more extroverted over texts. That's why I didn't know whether Gerard was okay with the idea of hanging out with me while Mikey was out for a couple of hours.

In the first place, Gerard knew Mikey would leave shortly for a job interview, and later got aware that I'd be at his place since the morning. Those couple of hours of Mikey’s absence wouldn't exactly be awkward—I'd been at his place enough times not to feel awkward in his absence, even more considering how Donna was so sweet—, but it would be nice to hang out with Gerard. Plus, away from Mikey. Not that Mikey would do anything inconvenient; it was more about my sanity.

"You look good," I reassured Mikey from my place on the couch as he stood in the middle of the living room, adjusting his button-up shirt. Donna seemed as if she would die of pride, with a wide smile behind her hands that rested intertwined under her nose. "You're gonna do well, also."

"Of course!" Donna nodded. "Just remember everything we told you, alright? Ask about the workplace and the relationship between the other employees, don't subject yourself to a job that isn’t worth it!"

Mikey hummed with a nod. "Of course."

"Good luck, honey!" She hugged him tightly for a moment. "Go! You can't be late!"

"Right, thank you." He kissed her cheek and proceeded to hug me as well.

"You'll do fine!" I smiled, compelling him to do the same.

Mikey patted his pockets until he recognized the shapes of his phone and keys through the fabric, then left with another quick exchange of words. Donna and I were left staring at the door for a second before she disappeared inside the kitchen again.

The silence was almost deafening while the anxiety threatened to consume me from the inside out. What face would I put on if Gerard came out of his room and saw me sitting there pathetically, with false hope because he didn't even bother to answer me? It was the first time in a while that I felt out of place in the Way household.

"What episode of The Mandalorian did you stop in, again?" The sudden voice almost had me jumping in my place, turning around to see Gerard standing there behind the couch before he made his way around it, taking a seat about a foot away from me. When did he get there, in the first place? It always amused me how quiet he can be, just appearing and disappearing randomly. Mikey can be just like that when he decided not to be chaotic.

A sigh escaped my lips before I nodded, clearing my throat. "Sixth, first season."

Gerard raised his eyebrows with a hum. "We can finish the season."

It's awkward at first. I sat there not knowing what to do, or where to put my hands at. I rolled my shoulders back, trying to let out the breath I had been holding as slowly as possible while resting against the couch before my back started hurting.

Gerard, on the other hand, didn't seem nervous at all, to the point it almost put me to shame. His eyes watched the TV from behind his messy dark bangs with the same amusement as if watching it for the first time. He was still in his Star Wars-themed pajamas, with a loose black shirt that rode up a little with how he had his legs up on the couch.

His index finger rested over his lips, elbow over one of his knees. Sometimes his eyebrows would furrow and his lips would purse according to what happened, and—

His eyes met mine. Fuck.

Thankfully, all he did was look back at the TV the moment I looked away. Maybe I was just overthinking.

"Damn, that’s when he—" Gerard paused, looking at me. "Fuck, sorry. Are you okay with spoilers?"

At first, I pondered saying no because I wanted to be surprised and intrigued as things happened, but was it worth not hearing his excited little comments about something he liked so much?

"No, not really," I chuckle softly, "you can comment all you want."

Gerard’s lips curl up into a cute smile. "Okay."

I don't know at what point it happened, exactly, but Gerard was sitting right next to me. It was nice how happy he looked, moving his hand around while explaining stuff, sometimes pointing at the screen or just moving around to follow what he said.

"And— Din, you know who portrays him, right?" He raised an eyebrow at me. He was so close. Cute, though.

"Impossible not to know, with all the current repercussions on The Last of Us, y'know."

"Right," Gerard hummed with a nod, and whatever he said sounded like gibberish because, as he shifted, I could feel his arm right behind my back. "What do you think?"

"Huh? Sorry, I—"

"Sorry, am I bothering you?" He twists his lips a little. "Do you want me to let you watch it in peace or..."

It almost hurt a little that I had made him think that. "No! I like your comments! They're nice, I like the way you see it all and stuff."

Gerard pressed his lips together in a shy smile as his gaze fell to the ground at the same moment a red tone tinted his cheeks. "Well, thank you," he mumbled, scratching the side of his face.

Soon, the episode finished and the preview of the show was displayed on the screen instead, but it wasn't like we would watch anything else.

"—the character designs, you know? I think that's what really gets me! They're well built not just regarding their story, but also their visual, y'know? It's something that inspires me a lot!"

"Oh, Mikey did tell me you go to art school!" I grinned, watching his eyes lighten up. "I guess I have seen one of your works. Was it you who drew Ray, Mikey, and yourself in a cartoon sort of style? With blood and all?"

"Yes!" He nodded frantically. "I decided to make a little something for us because it completed around 10 years that we've been friends! What did you think of it!"

"Loved it! It looked very nice! 'Would love to see more of your works, even." My cheeks heated up a little with how I was advancing, but I still had confidence in myself. After all, Ray said he would like me and Ray knew both of us well.

Gerard’s lips twisted into something between his shy smile and a proud grin as his eyes wandered around the room for a moment. "Well," he mumbled, pulling the strands of hair away from his face, "I can show them to you, anytime."

"That’d be lovely—"

I interrupted myself at the sound of the door being opened, and Gerard and I turned to see Mikey walking in with a sigh. He closes the door behind himself and stands there in silence for a moment as if grounding himself. Only when he opens his eyes again that I dare to speak.

"Hey, Mikes! How did it go?"

Mikey raised his eyebrows a little as he saw Gerard and me on the couch. "Um, went well, I believe! They said they're going to call me in one week in case I'm hired."

"Congrats!" Gerard extended a hand, which Mikey high-fived with a wide grin. "Barnes 'n Nobles?"

"Yeah!" Mikey nodded. "It seems nice, will give me some extra money and the shifts are flexible." He paused and leaned back, glancing past the kitchen's doorway. "Where's mom?"

"She— Isn't she in the kitchen?" Gerard furrowed his eyebrows. "We didn't see her leave. I mean, I didn't. Did you?" He asked me, but I shook my head.

Mikey raised his eyebrows a little and glanced back at the TV before slowly nodding. "Right. (Y/n), I—"

Gerard interrupted his brother by clearing his throat as he slowly put himself up to his feet. The cold air embraced me, making me already miss his closeness. "Well, I got some stuff to work on. See you guys later." He nodded at Mikey and me, his gaze lingering over mine before he disappeared once again.

It was like a trigger. Just the sound of the door to the basement closing already had my cheeks flaring up, which quickly attracted Mikey’s attention.

"Spill it up, you whore," he joked. "C'mon, I'm hungry. I'll grab something then we can go to my room." He remained silent while we got some snacks from the kitchen then rushed upstairs into his room, closing the door behind us. "Tell."

My cheeks start burning again, and I can't meet Mikey's gaze. "There's nothing to tell." I put what I had brought on the desk, and pulled the chair to take a seat.

"Suuure..." He rolled his eyes. "Gerard was looking at you as if you were a brand new Star Wars action figure."

"What kind of comparison is that?" I scoffed, trying to think what it would look like.

"Don't you dare say I didn't warn you when he starts spending more time taking care of his collections than with you." Mikey hummed with a glare while opening a can of Coke, and I can't help but chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah! But Mikey— He's so cute," I groan, burying my face into my hands. I would give anything to spend more time with him like that again.

It was a couple of days later that Ray decided to call for a group hang out again, this time breakfast at a neat café downtown. Mikey didn’t lose time before spilling everything on the gc, so he was curious, being nosy as he was.

The café he chose was something near the dorms, which Ray liked to visit once in a while between lectures because both the price and quality were good. Soft colors took the place while some nice pictures hung from the wall, all of them contributing to a nice atmosphere that was completed by the ambient song.

"Tell me," Ray whined with a pout. "What did you two talk about?"

"I told you!" I widened my eyes a little, playing with the paper around the coffee cup. "We, um, finished watching the first season of The Mandalorian while talking about it then started talking about character design, drawings, and stuff. He even said he could show me more of his drawings if I was interested."

Ray's pout turned into a grin as he clapped lightly. "Wow, that's some good advancement! I can't wait for you two to get together! We can go out Christa and me along with you two!"

"Yeah, right?" I couldn't help but grin as well. "That would be cool."

"Have you two talked ever since?" Frank asked before taking a sip from the straw.

"No, no." I shook my head and pulled my phone from my pocket, getting to Gerard's chat. The last message was me asking to hang out while Mikey was on his job interview. It wouldn't hurt to text him now. It was a wild idea, maybe, but I ended up just typing it. 'Good morning, beautiful,' the message displayed on the screen without being sent yet. "Frank, what if I..." I showed him the screen. "What if I, hm?"

Frank furrowed his eyebrows as he read the message before giggling. "Yeah, yeah, do it!"

"Careful," Mikey hummed. "You don’t wanna die and have Frank advice as the cause on your gravestone!" Words that went ignored by Frank, who just giggled more.

Ray was pouting yet again. "What? What is it?" I showed him the screen as well, watching his eyes widen a little. "Oh, bold!" He chuckled, but it stopped the moment I sent the message. "Wait— You sent it?"

"What?" I almost feel my heart drop inside my chest. Shit, am I rushing things? "C'mon, you all were so positive about it!"

"Ironically!"

"Not me!" Frank shook his head.

"Nooo..." I groaned, burying my face in my hands.

"Well, at least you can know it's 50/50," Ray tried, "either he replies in the same level or... maybe a block."

"Don't exaggerate!" Mikey clicked his tongue. "Not a block, but maybe ignore you, I don't know."

My heart seemed to beat faster at the same proportion it sunk deeper into my chest. "You're not helping—"

Ding. A notification. Everyone fell silent, eyes focused on the phone. A message from Gerard.

Gerard<3:

Good morniiing!!!☀️

"My God," I cried out softly with a hand over my mouth. "He's so cute!" I ended up just letting Ray take my phone from my hand as I continued to freak out both in relief and also at how cute he genuinely was.

"Genuinely pathetically humiliating yourself for a submissive," Frank said in a reprehensible tone, clicking his tongue. "You're freaking out over a good morning with three i's!"

"But Frank!" I groaned, taking my phone back. "I like him so much it hurts..."

Ray hummed, touching my shoulder. "Maybe you should let him know. Like, there's nothing to lose. He is a chill guy, wouldn't be awkward or anything if you like him and all. Unless it affects you a lot, of course."

These three have some sort of power, sometimes, but nothing good. The way they encouraged me always had me acting by fucking impulse. It had its advantages, of course, though sometimes I would be left wondering how easily I could let these three get into my brain.

"Okay." I hummed with a nod. "It's worth a shot, right? And—"

"Me!" Frank raised a hand. "Let me be the one to tell him, please! I'll be like, 'Gee, hear me out, (y/n) wants your ass!' What do you think?"

I stared at him for a moment. "And I really trust you, Ray! I'm counting on you!"

That night, I didn't rethink my choices when I went home. Maybe it was me trying to avoid problems—or what I considered to be problems—, but my mind was troubled with other things when it hit the pillow before sleep took over.

In the morning, Ray had only sent me one message. Done. And there was no coming back.

Gerard hadn't messaged me after the previous day's conversation, and part of me also hope he wouldn't, even if I kept checking my phone every two minutes during classes. Part of it was increased due to how Mikey didn’t go to class that day, just sending me a 'crash by after class' during the lunch break.

I stepped into the Way household like a scared cat, even if the chances of seeing Gerard were small. Donna welcomed me warmly as always, so I just went up to Mikey’s room after she told me where he was.

"Why didn't you go today?"

"Wasn't feeling like it." He twisted his mouth. Mikey was sprawled across the bed.

"Right." I sighed and pulled my notebook from my bag, leaving it over the desk. "In case you need it."

He nodded as a quiet thank you. "Wanna watch The Last Of Us?"

"Can't watch it alone?" I smirked, chuckling at his grimace.

"Fuck you!" Mikey clicked his tongue and reached under his bed to get his laptop. "Be useful and go get us something from the fridge, c'mon!"

I rolled my eyes, sighing as I left my bag hanging from the desk's chair. "I didn't even sit down yet and I'm already being treated as a slave! Fuck you," I said as I exited the room, leaving him snickering behind.

Donna had already disappeared again when I reached downstairs, so I just walked into the kitchen, looking for something Mikey wanted before I grabbed myself something to eat and to drink as well.

"Hey." The quiet voice almost gave me a heart attack. Gerard stood there in the middle of the kitchen, just like a goddamn ghost.

"Hiii..." I said a little breathless, letting the cans of soda and juice on the counter before I closed the fridge.

"So..." Gerard played with his hands a little, eyes wandering around the room. "I, um, I don't want to beat around the bush because it would be harder for me, but... Uh, Ray told me, um, something, and I was wondering if it was true. Maybe not just regarding him, but also regarding you, because..." He ran out of air and cleared his throat, wetting his lips. "I'm sorry for rambling, but..."

The silence felt so thick. As if I was underwater, given how difficult to breathe and to move it felt.

"I..." My mouth felt so dry. "It's true, Gerard. I already had my eye on you a while ago, and I sort of just..." I shrugged a little.

"For real?" He blinked, but his eyes never met mine. "Isn't it some sort of dare or something? I mean, you must be nice if Ray considers you to be one of his best friends, but I wouldn't be able to handle it if it were a dare. I'm so sorry."

"No, no! It not a dare!" I shook my head. I didn’t know what to to with my hands, so I held them together in front of my chest. "I genuinely think you're nice, and cute, and pretty! I wouldn’t lie! Mikey is like, my best friend, I wouldn't dare to hurt you! Well, not just because of him, but also because of you!"

Gerard’s cheeks quickly gained the red tone that adorned them so many times. His hands weren't fidgeting so much. "For real?"

"For real." I smiled softly, and extended my arms in an inviting manner. "Um, a hug?"

Gerard was hesitant at first. He took a small step towards me, though then soon throwing himself in my arms and hiding his face in my shoulder. "Sorry, it's just... no one ever had interest in me or anything, I am always much like a shadow, so..."

"Don't worry about it!" I patted his back softly. "I think you glow, actually. You're so pretty, I— Sorry, I don't want to scare you away."

"It's fine," he almost chuckled. A smile adorned his lips when he pulled away a little, remaining close. "I... Um, I'm wondering if I can..." His eyes drew to my lips a couple of times. Fuck. He's adorable.

"Yeah, go on!" I grinned for a second before I let my lips rest proper, soon meeting his in a sweet kiss that made something stir in my chest in the best way possible. "Was that good!"

"Can I do it again?"

__________________________________________

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#gerard way #x reader #x female reader #x male reader #x gender neutral reader #oneshot #gerard way x reader #gerard way oneshot #imagine #mcr #fan fic #fan fiction #mcr x reader #mcr imagine #mcr oneshot #writing

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scoonsalicious · 16 days

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Sigh. This is like watching a whole car crash that's about to happen. You know it's about to get so messy but you can't look away. First off, I'm glad the J names is catching up with everyone hahaha i didn't think I'd actually start a trend with that one. Second, I always read everyone's comments and ask after the parts, and I think I can safely say that I feel like I'm alone in thinking that there's so much more to what happened than meets the eye. I mean, everyone, including Pocket has all the right to be angry at Bennet because what he did was assholeish behaviour. But I really do feel like I'm the only one who's holding out full judgment against him because again, there's missing pieces here. I honestly think Joana has a bigger play in this than Brian did it. Like yes, he still had a choice in having sex with her, and yes the articles was a happy accident, but the things before that, I just know there's something she did to Boston, and while I have my theories, I can't have a clear idea as to what it was exactly yet. So, I'll just have to wait for Chapter 27 (it's seems so far away but god, time flies. I mean we're at Chapter 20 already). And I hate to add the technically about the cheating since it doesn't really matter, but i will reiterate that it wasn't the deed that was truly hurtful to Pocket, it was the constant lying.

Now let me get to the confrontation. While reading it, I'm glad Pocket stood her ground and set a boundary that there's nothing he could do to fix this because it absolutely is looking like that right now. And I did side-eye him a little with the crying and reasons he was spewing because accident? Really? I was getting slightly annoyed to when he didn't come clean right away either. And then he just kept promising things again and again and it's honestly just a cycle at this point. Because yeah, in order for his promise to have any validity, he has to fulfill them first, and so far? He's fulfilled none. He was getting pretty desperate in that closet. But I also can't blame him. I do think this is good for him though, because this is how he will truly see how much hurt he put Pocket through. But then I took a pause and realized how distraught he was, and yeah he's losing the love of his life, but I also have a feeling there's so much more as to why he can't say exactly what happened. I mean, not that Pocket has given him any chance but, I just can't shake the feeling that something else is at play here. And I can't wait to see the truth come out.

Now, onto Pocket's actions after that. Sigh. I don't agree with it at all. But I can't blame her either. Still, I just know that if something were to happen between her and Steveioli, she's going to regret it and she's going feel disgusted with herself because essentially, she's stooped down so low. I would've been fine if it was any other man but Steve? i mean, I don't hate him as much as you guys lol but I'm looking at the fact that he's your ex's best friend. And yeah, I'm all for petty revenge, but since I can't bring myself to fully be angry at Benson, I'm not all for doing the deed with Steve. Because for one, it's proving to Billy that his fears were right. Yeah, it going to hit him were it hurts, but who are we sure that he finally will understand the pain he's put Pocket through? What if this is just going to reinforce his insecurity because they've essentially been proven right. And I just know Jerald is going to milk this whole thing, I can already see her being the instigator and being like "See what I said. I told you I was right." And while Byron should grow some balls and not believe a word she saying, he's angry and hurt and insecure and fragile, he's bound to get manipulated again.

two, this is going to hurt Pocket more than she thinks. Like, the aftermath of this isn't going to be pretty, and I'm honestly just worried about Pocket because I really do feel like her actions in this is going to haunt her and is going to be much more harmful to her than she knows. I really don't want it to, but I have a feeling that if she goes down this route, something is going to bite her back in the ass and god, I'm so worried because she's been through enough. Basically, I'm just saying, this is going to do more harm to her than any good. Like sure, she's going to have the short moment of triumph and feel good with that revenge. But after?

Overall, I'm honestly can't celebrate anything that's been happening because I have a really bad feeling about everything hahaha like I'm just reading everything and sighing out loud. Like i just know this is going to blow up, so i can't even take in the small victories, if there are any. I'm glad Pocket is having fun and letting loose on her birthday though, and that she's feeling all the love from everyone because she does have great friends and she is very loved. She deserves to know that and more. But again, I have a feeling that it's going to be short-lived.

Again, amazing as always! I can't wait to see were you're taking us. I'm just here to enjoy the ride. Lots of Love!

— Jnon 🤍

My beloved Jnon, I'm sorry for responding to you so late today! Yesterday? IDK. The J-names a are vibe, and we're all feeling it, so thank you, you magnificent trend-setter. I appreciate you holding out judgement against Barnacle until all facts have been presented. Jif Peanut Butter's influence on his is definitely strong, and we'll see just how she manipulates him later on. Pocket is in for a pretty major downward spiral going forward and, at the risk of entering spoiler territory, not all of it is going to have to do with Bucky. His emotions when she called him out on his tryst with Joffery Baratheon were legitimate, but he's got to learn his lesson that words aren't going to fix things; his actions will (and I do feel bad-- he was trying so hard between when they first broke up and the Russia mission to avoid Jade, he really was, and he was doing so good, too; an genuine effort was being made!). And, Bestie, if you think Pocket sleeping with Steveoli would be "stooping down so low," whew boy! Just you wait! We gotta hit rock bottom, baby. Things will definitely bite her in the ass, and do much more harm than good for awhile. We're getting into some dark times ahead! Truly not a lot to celebrate rn; except for maybe Chapter 22, which is a flashback chapter, and some of my favorite writing, lol.

#unwanted #jnon report

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