#dorky-sunshine

[justhereforthemeta]

Romantic expectations and the story we didn't see: A magic trick hiding in plain sight

Here's a hopeful meta for all my fellow celestial brainrot sufferers out there. Cheers! :)

This idea started as a dead end, trying to track the movements of Crowley’s sideburns/tattoo because I thought time travel shenanigans were afoot. I had to abandon that theory when it was pointed out that David was simultaneously filming as the sideburns-having Fourteenth Doctor, and in-universe Crowley can do whatever he wants with his facial hair whenever he feels like it. But hey - null findings are still findings!

On the bright side, pausing the show to make notations in a spreadsheet forced me to slow down and notice other changes I'd overlooked the first time around: acting choices, costuming choices, references to book lore. And possibly a few surreptitious flicks of the wrist, in places where we’re meant to be focused on the magician’s other hand.

@amuseoffyre and @ineffablefood had a great exchange recently about romance and “the significance of misdirection and three-in-one (magic) tricks” throughout the show. I suspect Neil has done something brilliant with the audience’s long-standing expectations (since the 1990s, really) for the love story between Crowley and Aziraphale to develop. And while it is a wonderful story indeed, playing to this expectation lets Neil distract his audience from the blink-and-you'll-miss-them seeds he's planting for the final chapter.

Continued below the cut...

Let’s start at the beginning of Episode 2. First, context: In the previous installment, Crowley stormed out of the bookshop, was whisked away to Hell by Beelzebub where he learns about the Book of Life threat to Aziraphale’s existence, then returned to the bookshop to dance a little apology dance and hide Gabriel with an unintentionally massive joint miracle. In S2E2, we and Shax catch up with Crowley as he's snoozing in the Bentley.

Shax: “You’re in trouble”

A. J. Crowley, cool as a cucumber: “Obviously. Former demon, hated by Heaven, loathed by Hell. How will our hero cope?”

Interesting! Sarcastic? Yes, absolutely; but that’s also a good 4500 years and an averted apocalypse away from “I’m a demon. I lie,” wouldn’t you say? Someone is sounding a whole lot less depressed and aimless and navel-gazey (do snakes have navels?), and a whole lot more like he’s got a project to focus on, since his "what's the point?" ruminations on the park bench in E1.

And of course we all noticed the costume change right away. Hello, black turtleneck. Feeling cute today, thought I’d cover up my graceful long neck? That sounds unlikely. Let’s put a pin in this one.

There’s also an interesting acting choice going on here. Crowley speaks to Shax in a funny, drawling, too-cool-for-you voice that we haven’t heard in a while. Specifically, not since 1967. If you go back and give the S1E3 scene in the Dirty Donkey a listen, you’ll hear it (and if you know of another instance of it that I've missed, please let me know!). In S2E2, he keeps up this odd voice (if anybody knows what kind of affect this is supposed to be, please do tell!) throughout this dialogue with Shax, except for the brief moment when she first surprises him about the joint miracle having been detected.

1967 was a fun year. Crowley masterminded a heist! And seemed like he was having a ball doing it, right up until his little caper was called off after Aziraphale brought him the thermos of holy water. Crowley spoke to his co-conspirators in that same funny, very 60’s-caper-film voice. He wore a hip 60’s turtleneck. He bought petrol for the only time ever, so he could get those sweet James Bond bullet hole decals for his car (per the book, seen on the Bentley in the show).

Those James Bond bullet hole decals would of course have been part of a promotion for this 1967 release, which you just know our film-enjoying demon went to see in the theater:

Starring this suave, be-turtlenecked guy:

And now - begging your forgiveness - a brief rant.

There are a number of posts out there that refer to Crowley’s S2E2 turtleneck as a flirtatious sartorial choice - actually, ‘slutty’ seems to be the favored accusation. There are even a few posts floating around commenting on how sweet it is that Crowley swaps out his slutty, kinky, throw-me-over-your-desk-and-take-me turtleneck for a more dressy and appropriate collared shirt specifically to attend Aziraphale’s Jane Austen ball. 

Now this is all in good fun, and Crowley does indeed look fantastic here, and I do love a good fangirling sesh as much as the next person. However, fandom’s collective tendency to interpret what we are seeing on the screen through the lens of romantic expectation can, at times, give rise to a kind of blinkered enthusiasm that obscures the original text in a haze that is part Mandela Effect, part unrestrained horniness, and part in-group code talking and identity reinforcement.

Respectfully, Crowley’s black turtleneck does not appear at all in S2E5: The Ball. In fact, it never appears again after the end of S2E2.

For Someone’s sake, let’s collectively pull our heads out of the romantic fog/gutter for a moment and focus on what we are actually seeing in the book and on the screen. For Crowley, this is an uncharacteristic within-period costume change. There is a surreptitious flick of the wrist happening here, out in broad daylight, and we are all missing it.

So here’s a thing. Aziraphale appears to have settled comfortably into life on Earth, his neighborhood, his books, using Crowley as an outlet for sharing his good deeds that he would once have reported to Heaven. Meanwhile, at first glance, Crowley appears stuck in a rut. There he slouches on a park bench with Shax in S2E1: a guy who lives in his car, stagnantly clinging to old familiar habits, mulling over the pointlessness of it all.

Setting aside the bit about living in the Bentley (I’m going to attribute this to well-documented issues between him and Aziraphale, discussed in many other excellent metas, and move on), Crowley has at least two very good, proactive reasons for maintaining his contact with Hell through Shax. First and foremost, it’s a source of information he can use to keep ahead of potential threats to Aziraphale and himself.

But also, I would posit…he kinda likes it.

Recall that book GO was first conceived as a parody, with Aziraphale and Crowley as spy-against-spy (but not really) field operatives in an ages-old cold war between Heaven and Hell. Their entire book dynamic is rooted in the trope of two opposing agents who have been in the field for so long that they now have more in common with each other than with their respective head offices. Their St. James’s Park meetings among other spies and ministers trading secrets are a sendup of what was once a well-known Cold War-era cliché. 

Our contemporary Crowley still likes slick outfits and hellaciously expensive watches and high-performing vintage cars and pens that write underwater while looking like they could break the speed limit. He coaches Shax on how to blend in as a demon on Earth, and he helpfully redirects the wayward contact looking for the Azerbaijani sector chief. He loves improvising and getting away with shenanigans under the institutional radar. And boy golly was he impressed with Jane Austen: master spy, brandy smuggler, and mastermind of the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. 

And if you look at it a certain way, for as long as Crowley has considered himself to be on “[his] own side” - going at least as far back as Job - he could almost think of himself as a sort of double agent. It’s actually a very romantic sort of notion, befitting our hopeless romantic of a (professedly former) demon; but it’s romantic in a very different way than we, the audience, have been primed to watch for.

In other words, in a very “on my own side” kind of way, Crowley really gets a kick out of being a spy. Or at least, dressing up and accessorizing as one, and moonlighting as a good-doing double agent when he can get away with it. And also being a plotting criminal mastermind. Two sides of a coin, really. Just look at Jane Austen.

My point is: No, Crowley did not wait around for Shax to come find him in a turtleneck so that he could go flirt with Aziraphale later. He’ll flirt with Aziraphale no matter what. No, this:

is actually this:

Much like the one he wears to the Dirty Donkey in 1967: 

whilst holy water heist-plotting. Here's a clearer shot with gratuitous Bentley, because I love them:

…and which he'll wear again, with appropriate camouflage, while infiltrating Heaven in S2E6:

That is the 1967 planning a HEIST turtleneck for committing ESPIONAGE and STEALING THINGS in. Because turtlenecks are what modern human master spies wear to get their hands dirty - after all, he saw it in a movie once. 

Crowley dons his tactical turtleneck sometime during the first major break in the action (which doesn't happen until after the joint miracle to hide Gabriel) after he learns about the threat the Book of Life poses to Aziraphale. Loverboy started mentally preparing himself to go after that book immediately upon learning that it was in play as a genuine threat. 

Now let’s pick up at the S2E2 Dirty Donkey scene, reading the story from this angle. Of course, Crowley enables Aziraphale’s delusions about Heaven by hiding information from him, and does not disclose the Book of Life threat when they meet again. They go into the pub, Aziraphale shamelessly paws Crowley’s chest like the seductive Bond Girl he is, and Crowley gets to act all smooth and suave and intimidating as he chases off the interloping Mr. Brown (or Mr. Collins for the Pride & Prejudice fans, take your pick).

Ergo, theory: beginning in S2E2, Crowley is already thinking of himself as a Jane Austen/James Bond action hero (“How will our hero cope?”), psyching himself up to rescue Aziraphale by getting his spy game on and stealing the Book of Life.

Now, watch closely...This is where Aziraphale and Crowley brainstorm their plans to solve the problem they both know about: getting Maggie and Nina to fall in love and thereby get Heaven off their backs. Crowley’s vavoom plan is drawn from yet another movie (“Get humans wet and staring into each other’s eyes - vavoom, sorted. I saw it in a Richard Curtis film.”). But Crowley also implicitly shares his solution to the problem he hasn’t told Aziraphale about. And true to form, Crowley’s Jane Austen solution isn’t the same as Aziraphale’s Jane Austen solution. 

Two solutions that fail by the end of Season 2, and a secret third one that might still work...and there's our magic trick of three.

‘“I’m lost. Am I doing a rainstorm?” Yes, babe. And a heist, too - just not until season three. Can I get a wahoo!? 

I won’t spend time on A Companion to Owls during this meta, except to note that in all three minisodes, we get to watch stories that involve Crowley acting as a double agent on “his/their own side” - successfully making Hell and Heaven think he’s fulfilling their will while saving Job’s goats and children; failing to fool Hell when he does a good deed in Edinburgh; and of course, collaborating with Aziraphale whilst evading detection as an infernal turncoat during the Blitz.

(Because this is getting long, I'll also skip over Crowley's interrogation of Jim in this episode - I'll probably come back to that in another meta. But interrogating is a rather spy-ish thing to do.)

When we catch up with Crowley again later, he’s already slipped out of the bookshop, having left Aziraphale to his biblical reverie about Job. He saunters snakily down Whickber Street as usual, but with a very pointed and swift glance over his shoulder (see pic above). This demon is up to something - possibly something we didn’t get to see, something that may have happened offscreen while he stepped out. In any case, knowing there’ve been unfriendly angels in the neighborhood that morning, he’s rightly concerned about being spied on.

From this point until the beginning of episode six, there isn’t a whole lot of opportunity for Crowley to make any next moves. He babysits the bookshop, during which time he manages to wring some crucial information out of Jim; he follows his Crowley’s Angel around like a puppy, and downs a bottle of red like a good old fashioned lovesick boy once that’s been pointed out to him. If any plotting or scheming is underway, this occult being is keeping stumm for now.

This has been a long one, so I’ll wrap up with Crowley’s infiltration of Heaven with Muriel. The turtleneck disguise works (Archer fans, be vindicated!) long enough to gather some information that will be crucial not just to the denouement of S2, but also to Crowley’s journey in S3 (previous post on Crowley's Fall, Saraqael, and memory wiping). And Aziraphale gets to enjoy that view exactly zero times. The point isn’t oh, a turtleneck! How flirty! So cunty! So cute! Y’all. Everything matters. The costume change was a deliberate choice. In-universe, Crowley’s decision to wear his special spy turtleneck for spying in is a signal that he is out doing spy things, even as we watch.

In sum: Beginning in S2E2 and continuing through the end of the season, Aziraphale and Crowley are actively living out the scripts of two parallel, concurrent, and completely different Jane Austen stories. But you and I, dear fellow audience member, we came here for a comedy with a hefty jigger of romance, and that’s what Neil gave us to focus on. And right up until the Final 15, that was the only story we saw.

Meanwhile, Special Agent A. J. Crowley doesn’t have time to mope around at the end of S2E6. He’s kicked down, but he’s not out. He's got a Book of Life to steal, a very serious bone to pick with a certain memory-wiping angel, and his Angel and the world to save. 

“‘Heigh ho,’ said [romantic, optimist, former demon, hero, master spy] Anthony Crowley, and just drove anyway.”

#so honestly #I think the biggest mark against this conclusion is that Crowley sees his mirror Maggie taking a nap at the end of S2E6 #there is a strong chance of a depression nap before any further spying gets underway #but I am counting on Muriel to be a dorky ray of sunshine and snap him out of it with Clues #good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 #crowley in a turtleneck #demon bookseller plantdad spy

[joemothersfavoritechild]

“across the street” pt. 2

-3k-ish words

-mike schmidt x fem!reader

-no trauma au

an: thanks for all the love on my last post!! i took some inspiration from a few joel miller fics for this one. also, referring to the ending, gotta let it marinate or sum. and if you get the orange reference, marry me.

summary: you have a late night phone call with yk who, and build furniture in the morning.

part one is here!

————————————————————————————

You plopped down in your chair, sighing while rubbing hand sanitizer over your hands. Your shift had been busy as hell, this being the first break you had all day, and it was only halfway over. You wiped your now clean hands over your eyes, trying to rub the tired soreness out of them. At least the pay is good, you thought.

Your coworker calling your name pulled you away from your thoughts.

“25 wants you again.” They said.

“Why me?” You whined.

“I don’t know, I think she prefers women.” They answered your rhetorical, giving you a sympathetic smile.

“Fuck me, I’m going to have to take my lunch after this. I’m never working another Sunday.” You said, standing up on your practically creaking legs.

This was how the rest of your afternoon went, running in all directions like a chicken with its head cut off. “23 wants an ice cream,” “25 pulled out her IV again,” “Call security on 26, he’s trying to leave.” It was an absolute shit show, you hardly had a chance to see the time on your phone, let alone check for a text that you were desperate to receive.

Your drive home was quiet, soft music playing to hopefully decompress you. It always seemed to help. You pulled into your driveway, noticing the lights on at a certain someone’s house across the street, his old Accord telling you that he was home. You turned your car off, trying to stop looking at it from your rearview.

Walking into your house wasn’t as satisfying as you’d hoped, boxes still covering the floor. You took your shoes off as you set your work bag on the ground. You looked at your bed frame again in the dark, not bothering to turn a light on. Was a day too early to expect a message? Was that considered desperate? Probably, you thought. But fuck, you were so desperate. He checked all the boxes,

cute? : check

siblings? : check

caring? : check

a little mean? : check

dorky as hell? : check

abandonment issues? : probably check!

You forced yourself to pull your eyes off the box. As the saying goes, a watched fish doesn’t get caught.

That’s not right, you think. Your tired brain can’t decipher what you were trying to go for, but you knew it would’ve worked.

Anyways, constantly thinking about someone texting you doesn’t help anything. You plugged your phone into the charger near the couch, purposefully ignoring staring at it for too long.

Your eyes fell back to the boxes surrounding you. You passed them all, going straight to your bathroom to shower.

The shower was the right call, you decided. Scorching water loosened your muscles and kept your mind in the present. Washing the outside world off your skin was the highlight of your day.

You got out of the shower, eventually. The warm water didn’t last as long as you had hoped, though it did try. Your nearly hour-long shower would overwhelm any water heater on the market. You quickly dried yourself off, taking the time to brush your teeth and apply your skincare before wrapping your towel around yourself and stepping into your bedroom. You threw on some pajamas from your suitcase that moved with you; pajama pants and an old shirt.

You balled up your work clothes into your towel and put them all in the laundry basket in the corner of your room, already beginning to overflow. You reminded yourself to start the laundry sometime tomorrow as you walked back to your temporary bed, the large green couch in your living room.

You pulled back the covers on the couch, piling into it. You had completely decked it out; two blankets, a comforter, two pillows (one for your head, one for between your legs), and the fan dialed up. You closed your eyes, listening to the white noise of the fan above you.

You were interrupted by the shrill noise of your phone ringing behind you. You groaned, folding your blankets over so you could get off the couch and walk to the charger. You ripped your phone off the charger, taking it with you as you laid back into your bed. You re-adjusted your blankets before pulling the phone under your ear and swiping to accept the call.

“Hello?” You said groggily.

“Hey.” A voice responded. It took you a moment, but eventually, you recognized it. You were suddenly awake with nervousness.

“Hey, Mike.”

“Hi. Um, I texted you,” He said, sounding more like a question than a comment. “A few times, not a big deal. I just wanted to make sure you were alive.” He joked.

You paused, trying to quickly check your messages.

“You there?” He asked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m here. Sorry, I’ve been working all day. It was super busy, so I didn’t have time to check my phone, and when I got home all I was thinking about was sleep.” You described.

“No need to be sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You’re okay?”

“I’m okay.” You responded.

“Good, good,” He pauses. “So, um, how was your day?”

“Pretty shitty.” You summarize, hearing him laugh in the background.

“Tell me about it.”

So, you did. You proceeded to tell him all the gritty details about your job. What your coworkers are like, the patients that you had to deal with, the frequent fliers, all of it. He asked a lot of questions, making you feel more comfortable rambling on to him.

“What’d you have for lunch?” He asked.

“I had leftover wingstop, I barely have any food at the house.”

“What’s your order?”

“Eight-piece boneless, classic hot. With fries, ranch, and a huge coke. It was amazing,” You said, practically salivating remembering it. “What about you and Abs?” You asked.

“It was very fancy, I don’t know if you’re prepared to hear me talk about it, you might be jealous,” He said sarcastically. “I made cheese quesadillas.”

You laughed a little too long at that, surprised. He was funny, another check.

You talked on the phone for a while, so long that you were talking about the most boring stuff. Like how Abby was a picky eater, and it annoyed Mike because all he wanted to do was eat a good burger now and again. It was sickly sweet and felt like being a teenager again. Whispering as to not wake your parents up, hoping that they wouldn’t catch you up past your bedtime.

You’re not sure when it happened, but you fell asleep on the phone. Mike was talking about something, maybe about the tv show he had been watching. You’re not exactly positive, but you know that you passed out cold.

Your eyes fluttered open, the phone still pressed up against your cheek, warm from the contact. You blinked rapidly, trying to keep your dream in your mind. You had to think hard, as it was delicate. If you let it go, you’d never remember what it was.

It was a good dream, as most of yours tended to be. You didn’t remember a lot, only pieces of it. But you knew Mike was there. You knew that he had led you to your bed, pulling you under the covers with him. You talked, cuddling close to him. God, it had felt so real. You could practically see the lines under his eyes and the pores on his nose. You smiled, but this felt a little creepy at this point. Borderline delusional, your mind added. You barely knew him and you were already dreaming about him.

You grabbed the phone from under your face, groaning as it got unstuck from your skin. Thankfully, it wasn’t dead. You unlocked it, taking the opportunity to look at the texts that you had gotten the night before.

Yesterday, 12:36 pm: hey, this is mike. i’ll need you on the weekends from 8 am-4 pm. and idc that you said not to pay you, i’m building your bed too.

Yesterday, 2:49 pm: you okay?

Yesterday, 5:03 pm: not to be creepy, but i think i’m going to call you. you’re worrying me a little lol

Today, 1:45 am: i think you fell asleep, i’ll talk to you in the morning :)

You smiled, making a contact for him. “mike <3” was now typing. Three little dots popped up on your screen and you quickly swiped out in nervousness. You opened it again when you got a notification.

Today, 10:23 am: i dropped abby off for school and slept in a little, is it okay if i come over to build that bed frame for you?

You smiled again, quickly replying to make up for last night.

Today, 10:24 am: yeah, ofc. give me a few minutes to wake up lol, i need to brush my teeth and clean up for a second.

He replied immediately.

Today, 10:24 am: lmk when you’re ready

You willed yourself to stop smiling, god it had been too long. You hardly knew how to act with a potential date.

“Oh, god.” You muttered to yourself, realizing you had to talk to him. Why did you have to talk to a man to get a boyfriend? Why couldn’t it just happen telepathically?

You sighed, rolling off the couch. You plugged your phone back into the charger, making your way to the bathroom. You completed your morning routine and ran to your bedroom to pick something out to wear for the day. You decided to go for casual, grey sweatpants and a green hoodie. Didn’t want to seem too desperate. You pulled your socks up your feet, laughing at yourself.

You grabbed a quick breakfast from your kitchen, consisting of leftover cookies and a slice of cold pizza. You tried your best to tidy your place up, moving boxes to the corner of the living room. Running down the hallway to your bedroom with your boxed bed frame in hand, you placed it on the floor, taking the other boxes and moving them to the hallway. You scrubbed your toilet and sink, turning on the air fresheners you had placed around the house.

You washed your hands, drying them before returning to the living room. You texted Mike, letting him know that you were ready. He liked the text message, and in less than two minutes he was knocking on your door.

You eyed the door at the noise. Jesus, he was not playing around. You took another deep breath, opening the door to see him standing there with a small smile. He went for casual too, you noted. He wore a black t-shirt and a pair of grey sweats. He held a bag, which you assumed was full of tools.

You smiled at him as a greeting and opened the door wider to allow him to walk into your house.

“Hey.” He said as you walked past you.

“Hi, thanks for coming so quickly.” You responded. “You didn’t have to, the payment feels premature.” You joked, shutting the front door. He looked a you for a second while taking his shoes off at the entryway.

“Shut up, you can’t sleep on the couch for a week”

“I totally can.” You bite back.

“You won’t, where’s your bedroom?” He finished, looking at you again.

You were shocked into silence, feeling your cheeks warm up. The comment made your head spin. Fuck, could he tell that you liked that?

You said nothing, ignoring his little smirk as you walked him to your bedroom. He followed behind you, dropping the bag on the floor with a small thump.

“Do you need any help or something?” You asked finally, breaking the tense silence.

“No, I’m good. I’ve done a lot of stuff like this,” He answered, shrugging. “You could put on some background music?” He suggested.

“That, I can do.”

You nodded, pulling your phone out of your pocket. You hesitated, before choosing a slower playlist of yours. Something calm, that you didn’t have to focus on. He nodded in enjoyment, then began to open the box that held your bed frame. He spilled the contents onto the floor, then kneeled on the ground. He started pulling stuff out of his bag. You guessed correctly, it was full of tools.

You just watched, sitting down against the wall of your room. It was attractive, him expertly putting your bed frame together. He was good with his hands, you wondered what else he was good at. He looked at you after a moment.

“You just gonna watch?”

“If that’s okay.” You shrugged, he nodded at your sort of question. He tried to hide his smile.

He was going to town, drilling, piecing parts together, all while completely ignoring the instructions. He didn’t need them.

After a while, you could tell he was getting hot. His black shirt was sticking to his skin. You hated to admit that it did something to you. You felt a warmth settle in your stomach and tried your best to will it away. Your eyes settled on his back, looking up to his neck when he turned towards you.

“Why’re looking at me like that?” He asked, eyes narrowed out of curiosity.

You made eye contact with him like a deer in headlights. Smiling at you, he laughed a little. Your words were stuck in your throat, embarrassed about being caught.

“Um, do you want some water?” You settled on.

“Sure.” He answered, chuckling at your suddenly shy demeanor.

You stood up off the floor and walked out of your room, closing the door behind you. What the fuck was that? You scolded yourself, internally. Now he was going to think that you were a horny weirdo. I mean, you were, but he didn’t need to know that yet.

You shook your head at yourself as you poured him a glass. This was ridiculous, you needed to chill out.

You came back into the bedroom and handed him the glass. He took it from you gratefully, fingers brushing over yours as he grabbed it. Telling you a small “thank you,” he brought the glass to his lips and began to drink greedily. You watched him as he downed the glass, some dripping down his chin.

When he was finished, he wiped a hand over his stubble. He looked over to you, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips. He held the glass out to you and you took it, quickly walking out of the room.

You placed the glass in the sink, blinking to try and bring yourself back to life. How did someone make drinking water look so good? How was that even possible? And god, the look he gave you.

You needed to get it together before you blew it. Talk to him, say something, anything other than just fucking staring at him.

You walked back into the room with a mission, you were going to talk to him. Taking your spot on the floor, you cleared your throat.

“So, what’s your favorite food?” You decided on.

He barely paused before answering, “Definitely pasta, like a good chicken alfredo.”

“Shit, that’s a good answer. I’m really into sushi right now. Can’t afford it, but into it.” You said, smiling at his willingness to answer.

The stupid questions continued for a few minutes. The two of you got to know the smallest details of your likes and dislikes. Turns out, Mike can’t stand the color yellow but loves orange. He’s not much of a drinker, mainly because he can’t afford it, but he does occasionally smoke weed. He’s a cat person but would get a dog if Abby asked for one. It killed you when he talked about his sister because it was so obvious how much he loved her.

Eventually, he finished your bed frame. The gentleman that he is forced him to carry your mattress in from the laundry room, helping you set that up too. Mike may have been on the shorter side, but he was strong as hell. The two of you put on your sheets, blankets, pillows, and finally your comforter. It was almost too domestic, too real.

When you were finished, you didn’t want him to leave. You think he felt the same. This was confirmed when he saw the tv sitting in your closet.

“Do you want me to mount that for you?” He asked.

I want you to mount me, you fought against saying.

“That would be great.” You agreed.

Mike probably spent three hours helping you put your bedroom together, setting up shelves, arranging your cabinets, and helping you put your pictures and posters up while you talked his ear off.

Even though you told him a million times that he didn’t need to, he hung your clothes up in your closet while you folded the rest to go in your new dresser. Finally, your room was fully decorated and unpacked.

He rubbed his hands together, settling on the end of your bed. You sat next to him.

“Thank you, seriously. I was dreading doing all of that by myself.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He said.

You both looked at each other for a second too long, the tension between the two of you becoming thick. You took breaks from looking at his eyes by moving down to his lips. You took a deep breath, noticing him moving closer to you.

He hesitated, pushing a stray hair behind your ear instead. His hand lingered on your face, eventually moving down your arm to put your hand in his. He interlocked your fingers together, pulling it close to him and pressing a soft kiss on your knuckles. He held you there, hand resting on his chin. This was almost more intimate than a kiss, you thought.

“Do you not-” You started, getting interrupted.

“I want to, believe me.”

You looked at him, willing him to continue.

“I don’t want you to think that’s all this is.” He explained, you nodded. You know that this was him being respectful, but it made you want to tear his clothes off even more. Forbidden fruit, if you will.

“Let me take you on a date, tomorrow on my lunch break. I know a place you’d like.” He continued.

“Okay.” You said, smiling.

————————————————————————————

**i do not give anyone permission to use my work as your own, respectfully

this belongs to @joemothersfavoritechild **

#mike schmidt x reader #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #mike schmidt #abby schmidt #boynextdoor #across the street #mike schmidt fluff #alternate universe #no monsters #no animatronics #reader insert #x reader #no y/n #eventual smut #mike schmidt x fem!reader #not canon #not canon compliant #dorky boyfriend #sunshine x grumpy #slow burn #slow burn-ish #modern au #no garrett #josh hutcherson #fluff

[tequiilasunriise]

I am so in love with this volume because I am so in love with the way Blake Belladonna is finally allowing herself to love Yang, you feel me?

Blake has always had this love fer Yang, we all watched their slowburn unfold over several volumes, but she kept this love close to her heart and only let that affection slip through cracks of her walls and/or during dire life or death situations. The simple, domestic, everyday ways to express love? Holding hands just because and softer words spoken freely and casually? Blake couldn’t do it because she was still afraid.

Afraid to hurt Yang and scare her away with her affections, because she had hurt Yang so much already and couldn’t bear to risk burdening her even more. She had left, she had abandoned the one person who she trusted most, and she had to prove she was staying for good this time. They still had to repair their friendship first and foremost.

Afraid to be the one hurting for exposing herself, because love had burned her once so throughly before. She trusts Yang with her life, but that haunting nightmare that is Adam makes it hard fer her to trust the brightest thing in her life with her heart. Blake had to overcome the bullish knife hanging over her head before she could be in another relationship.

And then when these issues were slowly getting resolved, Blake still held back. Sure, there were more tender moments between them, but they were more brief and far between. Blake was still holding back because this slowburn slowdance was all she knew when it came to Yang. They had to focus on the threat of Salem, of Atlas falling, of all that. It was better to play it safe, now was still not the right time.

But then? But then Blake watched Yang die, and suddenly all those cautious moments of ‘playing it safe’ racked up to an indescribable amount of missed opportunities and regret. Suddenly waiting all this time for the ‘right’ time didnt matter at all anymore because Blake completely ran out of any time.

Blake isn’t going to hold back anymore, she’s finally comfortable enough to be who she always was deep down under those trauma walls, this openly affectionate silly goofy little book nerd who just wants to make her beloved smile, and she’s going to absolutely s h o w e r Yang with flirty tones and dumb jokes and longing touches and be such a dorky romantic because she doesn’t want to waste anymore time. As Weiss spoke fer all of us, it’s, “About time”. The ‘right’ time is right the fuck now screw that ‘not concerned with sands of time’ bullshit she wants to kiss this stupid pretty face and she WILL let Yang know. I think about Blake this volume and I’m just SO PROUD OF HER. Nothing like a little taste of death to push a slowburn along, huh? Seriously though, witnessing Blake’s arc come full circle to open up and be the person she once was before Adam crushed her into taking up as little space as possible, before she deemed herself as nothing but a coward and a fool, seeing her laugh and smile openly and shoot every damn shot she can- it’s so, so damn good.

Anyways, I am also in love with Yang Xiao Long having no idea how to handle Blake being incredibly openly in love with her. 10/10 watching experience, truly.

#those fanfics that had Blake being a smooth flirt are O U T. Canon silly goofy dorky romantic Blake Belladonna is IN #shes so in love she cant contain it anymore she can hardly even LOOK at Yang without those soft eyes and gentle touches #she keeps having these brief soft moments of physical contact with Yang and its DRIVING ME NUTS #stolen moments of sunshine bc shes so drawn to yang she cant stop herself from indulging even if its a quick little touch im so fucken ill #lord save me im so ill IM SOOOO IIILLLLLL #GODS. GODS IM HAVING SUCH BIG FEELINGS OVER BLAKE BELLADONNA RN. #rwby #bumbleby #bumbleby bumblebabes #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #rwby spoilers #rwby v9

[sagesolsticewrites]

the duality of man Austin Butler 🥴

#what do you m e a n I’ve been obsessed with this dorky ray of sunshine for almost two years 🥴😭 #austin butler #dune part two #dune: part two #dune: part two press tour

[smimon]

There is something about Käärijä being all smiley and laughing these days and I can not imagine pre esc Käärijä being like that for some reason so I am 100% sure it's all worth it in the end 👏

#there is something about vintage k being so dorky and unlucky and then the bearded k being so sexy and angry #and now ??? such sunshine ??? #no thoughts head empty #käärijä #do you get it #i mean #hope

[hrh-princessanne]

Princess Royal visit for Budworth Sailing Club's 75th anniversary

May 2023

#LOOK AT HER #so cute #AND DORKY #ray of sunshine #princess anne #britishroyalfamily #princess royal #princessanne #her smile ❤️❤️ #brf #badass princess

[sincericida]

Andrew Garfield: Just a silly boy 🤣🫠

(X)

#andrew garfield #he's a sunshine #he's so goofy #silly boy #adorable dorky #he's so precious #protect him please #peter parker #spider man #tasm #the amazing spider man #tasm peter parker #tasm peter #andrew peter parker #andrew peter #andrew spiderman #andrew garfield peter parker #andrew garfield spiderman #under the banner of heaven #jeb pyre #tick tick boom #jonathan larson #video #sincericida

[meltingpenguins]

Can we, for a moment, talk about this bit in the book:

Where one of the figures had been there was something dreadful. He blacked out. Crowley restored himself to his favourite shape. “I hate having to do that,” he murmured. “I’m always afraid I’ll forget how to change back. And it can ruin a good suit.”

This is from the paintball scene. Can we talk about how mythologically speaking demons are thought to be prone to like shape-shifting and will gleefully take whatever shape they need to achieve their goals and evil deeds?

Crowley, book!crowley that is, HATES shapeshifting. Look at our boy up there, look at the last line especially. the bit about the suit is the kind of joke someone cracks when warding off a panic attack. Our boy is close to a body-dysphoria caused panic-attack.

This man is, by human terms, trans af.

By the same standards show!crowley is cis no matter how often you put david tennant in a skirt

#good omens #good omens crowley #good omens critical #I'm just once again very very angry how cis show!crowley is by all standards while we are meant to applaud what oh-so-great gf rep he is #give me back my dorky unintentionally trans-coded sunshine demon who tries so hard to be cool #and while we're at it give me back my unintentionally trans-coded bitchy smartass angel #book omens

[blueren]

Tabloid x Avril height difference breathe if you agree

#ace combat #ace combat 7 #tabloid #avril mead #fanart #artists on tumblr #my favorite duo/rarepair #I shipped these two since I first played the game y’all #THE WAY HE JUST PRAISED HER WORK OUT OF NOWHERE #THE DORKY LIL GRIN HE GIVES HER #DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT CUTE HEAD TILT HE GIVES HER IN THE BOAT CUTSCENE #also she asked him out for a drink #kinda #i know that wasn’t the context but still #anyways I think he is Tall and Lanky and avie is short #dont think about what his hand is doing I don’t even know #i saw a pose that inspired me on pinterest and I am DESPERATE for content of them #so imma make the content I want specifically tailored for me #i put them together in three strikes and that still wasn’t enough I need more of Them #short and grumpy x tall golden retriever ball of sunshine okay #he uses her as a head and arm rest #inspired by what my friends do to me because they’re taller than I am RIP #its a sign of Affection

[detectivekirigirislays]

no because nico definitely shadow traveled to jail once😭😭

the police told him to stay there even tho he kept threatening them n shit and he had to call will to bail him out (he passed out in jail btw)

#hes dorky #imagine he and will's phone call #nico where are you? #oh hi will love of my life my sunshine my one and only #nico i love you too but where the fuck did you go #oh shit i forgot to tell you im in jail #... what the FUCK? #theyre both dorky #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo #theyre both idiots

[sarroora]

What you need to know about me is that I love Naruto but I freaking HATE the War Arc and all its 'plot twists'

#And apparently that's not an 'unpopular' opinion at all #Lots of people feel the same way #Naruto #I'm thinking of beginning to watch Boruto #It's been years since I watched or read Naruto #the war arc was just so bad and the asspulling was too much my suspension of disbelief went out the window #I'm willing to try to watch it and finish it this time #I think the last time I read Naruto was in 2013 or so #The war was just... #It wasn't interesting or compelling anymore #But I really miss this dorky sunshine boy and his groomsmen that I wanna give it another shot if only for the worthy parts of the anime

[joemothersfavoritechild]

“across the street”

-1.5k words

-mike schmidt x fem!reader

-no trauma au

an: i’ve never written anything like this, so pls let me live lmao ik that it’s corny. this is more self indulgent than anything, but the mike schmidt hype has hit me hard 😭

summary: you move into a new place and meet your neighbors

————————————————————————————

A sudden knocking pulled you out of your sleep, causing you to sit up on the couch. You looked at your surroundings for a moment, trying to remember where you were.

You had just moved into the house that you were leasing the night before, and still had so much to unpack. It was on the smaller side, a two bedroom one bathroom, but it was a steal for the price. Boxes were strewn around the room, and your eyes landed on one particularly large one. Your bed frame, which was still taped up. Leading you to fall asleep on the couch last night.

Another knock, smaller than the first, was heard. You hopped off the couch, suddenly remembering the cause of your early morning. You ran a hand through your hair, double-checking your outfit. Of course, someone had to knock as you were in pajamas; an old oversized t-shirt, and some black shorts.

“I’m coming, sorry!” You yelled, speed walking up to the front door.

Before you could look around you, you tripped on a box next to the couch. You fell, and landed directly on your ass, shouting out a loud curse.

“Fuck.” You muttered, rubbing your stubbed toe. At least your socks took the brunt of the pain.

“Are you okay?” A muffled voice asked.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Sorry, this is embarrassing.” You rambled, mostly to yourself.

You took in a deep breath, what a morning. You stood from the ground, now directly in front of the large wooden door. You tried your best to compose yourself before you were unlocking and swinging it open.

Standing in front of you was a little girl. She had bangs, a huge smile, and a big tupperware box in her small hands. Next to her was a young man, around your age. He was definitely attractive, in jeans and a grey sweatshirt. You looked at him for a little longer than socially acceptable before speaking.

“Hi.” You said with a small smile.

“Hi!” The little girl replied, her smile mimicking yours.

“Uh, this is my sister, Abby.” The cute guy said, gesturing towards his sister. You followed his movement with your eyes, landing on her again. You smiled at her before he continued.

“I’m Mike-“ He said before he was interrupted.

“We live across the street,” Abby said loudly. He glanced at her, nodding at her comment. You held back a laugh at his annoyed expression. They were siblings, alright.

“We made some cookies, thought we’d introduce ourselves.” He finished.

You made eye contact with him, finally, too overwhelmed to do it before. God, was it a mistake. How could you control yourself when he was so fine? He had brown hair, brown eyes, and a soft expression on his face. You were fucked.

You introduced yourself, Abby complimenting your name.

“Thank you so much for the cookies, I bet you did all the work.” You said, winking at Abby. She quickly nodded, and her brother bumped into her playfully with his hip. She giggled, handing the box over to you.

“Do you guys want to come in and try these with me? My house is a mess, but it’s whatever.” You asked, hoping that he would agree.

Abby looked over to Mike for his approval, she muttered a tiny “please”. He seemed to be contemplating before you continued.

“I have milk.”

“Okay.” He said. You opened the door further at his answer, leading them into your house. Mike closed the door behind you all.

You took them to your kitchen, which was thankfully the cleanest place in your house. You set the box on the island, opening up your fridge, and grabbing the half gallon of milk you had bought. You grabbed your only glasses and filled them up. You set one in front of each of them.

“You guys caught me on a good day, with the milk.” You joked, noticing Mike’s small chuckle.

Cookies were dispersed, and you groaned as you bit into it. You nodded in enjoyment, taking a small sip of milk.

“These are good.” You said to yourself.

Abby nodded enthusiastically, “I already had some before we came over.” She said.

You laughed at her comment and looked over to Mike, who was looking at Abby with the same exasperated look from earlier.

“You had to taste test them, I understand.” You said to her.

Abby looked at her brother, and then back towards you. He looked confused for a second but then spoke.

“Oh- um, what brought you to the neighborhood?” He asked, popping the rest of his cookie in his mouth. You wiped the crumbs off your hands before answering.

“I work at the hospital over here, so I decided to get a place to myself that was closer.” You said simply.

“Oh, that’s awesome. So you live by yourself?”

“Yep, just me.” You answered, wondering about him. “What about the two of you?”

“Just us.” He said simply, you nodded at his answer.

“Abby, how old are you?” You asked, trying to include her in the conversation more.

“I’m about to turn ten.” She replied.

“What about you?” Mike asked, bringing your attention back to him.

“I’m twenty-one.” You answered. His eyes lit up for a second.

“Twenty-two,” He said, pointing to himself. You smiled at his goofy gesture.

You were so screwed, you had a thing for dorks. Fuck it, you thought. Might as well try.

“Why don’t we exchange numbers? That way if you needed a favor, or a babysitter,” You said, looking at Abby’s smiling face. “And we could go out for lunch or something.”

He raised his eyebrows for a second but quickly recovered.

“Yeah, yeah,” He squeaked. He cleared his throat and tried again. “That would be great.”

He quickly reached into the pocket of his hoodie and unlocked his phone. He swiped for a second before handing it to you, already on the contacts app. You smiled, putting in your number and name with a “<3” next to it. You returned it to him, noticing his eyes on you.

“Um, Abs. Can you give us a second?” He said, shooing her out of the kitchen.

“You can turn the tv on if you want, Abby. The remote’s on the couch.” You added, she nodded and sent her brother a thumbs up. You smiled at the silly action.

He seemed to need a second to compose himself, so you used his silence to grab the glasses and rinse them out in the sink. You heard the tv click on in the background. As you were placing the cups in the dishwasher, Mike cleared his throat. You turned back to him.

“Were you serious about the babysitting thing? If not, that’s fine. We can just get lunch or something-“ He rambled, you noticed the way he wasn’t rejecting you. You cut his sentence short.

“I was serious, about both.” You clarified, and he nodded at your response. He turned around for a second, looking at his sister. He looked at you again and walked closer to you. He lowered his voice before speaking again.

“This is embarrassing, okay? I really need someone to watch her, but I don’t know how much I could pay you. I haven’t been able to find someone that we can afford.”

“Mike, you don’t have to pay me. She’s a good kid. And I live across the street, it’s easy. Just text me when you need, and I can change my schedule.” You said, feeling helpful.

“You would literally be saving my life.” He expressed, rubbing his eyes with his hands.

“Of course,” You said, looking past him and into your cluttered house. “Could you maybe do me a favor instead of paying me?”

He looked at you through his hands.

“Would you help me build my bed frame? I had movers bring in the big stuff, and I could’ve paid them to build it, but they were already so expensive and-“

“Yeah.” He breathed out.

“Yeah?” You asked, not sure what to say.

He nodded, looking at you like he was trying to see through you. Then he looked down at his phone and smiled. When he looked up again he had a light pink on his cheeks.

“What?” You asked.

“Nothing. Uh, we’ve gotta go. I need to get Abby to school, but it was great meeting you. I’ll text you. About babysitting and lunch, okay?”

“Okay.”

He nodded again, a small smile on his face. He rounded Abby up and you walked them out. You stood against the doorframe, while the two of them stood in front of you.

“I’ll text.” He repeated.

“I’ll wait.”

The two of you smiled at each other for a second, neither wanting to walk away. You liked this weird banter the two of you had.

“Do you think he’s cute? ” Abby asked, voice monotone.

Your eyes widened, and you started laughing. This was going to be fun, you thought.

————————————————————————————

**I do not give anyone permission to use my work as your own, respectfully

this belongs to @joemothersfavoritechild **

#mike schmidt x reader #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #mike schmidt #abby schmidt #boynextdoor #across the street #mike schmidt fluff #alternate universe #no monsters #reader insert #x reader #no y/n #meet cute #eventual smut #mike schmidt x fem!reader #dorky boyfriend #sunshine x grumpy #not canon compliant #not canon #modern au

[the-purple-possum]

I'm going to be sad if there's no Aziraphel going over to Crowley's home and complementing all the plants in season 2.

#just like he comes in and suddenly all the plants look 20x happier #like hes basically the human embodiment of sunshine #and it shows #and then crowley telling him not to be soft on the plants #then staring at azi intently and smiling in that adoribly dorky way #just saying it would be so cute #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #plants #go s2 #i cant wait much longerrr

[oddestishottest]

birthday queen

#dorky #cute #selfie #sunshine #photography #nature #canadian tuxedo #me

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Takaaki: Hey, you're cute...and I like cute things...

Taichi: ?

Takaaki: And...uhh...I like you...

Taichi, smiling: I like you, too!

Takaaki: *dies of cuteness*

Takaaki: *mentally* I will protect him with my life, holy shit.

#My dorks <33 #They're literally the Sunshine and the Sunshine Protector shit (romantically) #taikaaki #taichaaki #Idk #takaaki ishimaru #taichi fujisaki #Takaaki is just dorky tbh

[despairforme]

what do you look for in a partner?

      He supposed he should think about that sort of thing now, huh? With him being single and all. He’d thought he could just live the rest of his life with Grimmjow. But no. Was he going to look for a new partner? What the fuck was the point? It wasn’t like he’d ever find someone who would put up with his shit. He was truly unlovable. And also, right now, he was really fucking depressive. He’d make the WORST first-impression on any future partner he might meet. 

      So, what WOULD he - theoretically - look for in a partner? 

      ❝ Someone who ‘s funny. ❞ It was the first thing that came to mind. Yeah, Nnoitra wanted to be with someone who could make him laugh. Someone who was kind would be good too. Probably a cliche, right? But Nnoitra would love to be with someone who just understood him and acted kindly towards him. Someone who could not only put up with his shit, but maybe help pull him out of his worst moods. He wanted to be with someone who brought out a lightness in him. Everything was so heavy for him all the time. He hated that. He wanted to have fun. To laugh and to feel loved. An ideal partner for him would read him when he needed reassurance, but respect him all the same. Did such a person even exist? Nnoitra didn’t know. And, IF this person somehow worked the Earth somewhere... What were the chances of Nnoitra finding him/her? And how would he ever make them fall in love with him? It was all just a fairy tale at this point, wasn’t it? He wasn’t going to spill his heart out with how he wished someone would actually love him. So, he’d stick to his one sentence. It didn’t matter what he said anyway, since he was never going to find someone. 

#[ ohhhh good ask anon! ] #[ thank you for sending! ] #[ nnoitra needs someone who can lift him up ] #[ - nnoitra is a v toxic person to be with unfortunately - ] #[ i forever imagine him finding someone the EXACT opposite of himself ] #[ a kind sunshine person who is dorky af and makes him laugh ] #[ - clenches heart - ] #[ in my dreams ] #despair for me. ╱ in character. #talking shit. ╱ answers. #burn the city. ╱ main verse.