#especially when you live in a city with a lot of artsy types who need to keep the lights on

[bside-cassette]

This is both a love letter and a retelling of @fakecrfan 's Constructor/Architect story, but set in my own superhero universe. She has a specific identity in this, as unfortunately, you can't really have the reader *be* the main character in a visual format, but I hope that's okay with you :)

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My name is Na Su-Yung. Two years ago, I thought I was a normal person. Another mortal. Another drop in the ocean, looking up to the clouds. To the gods living amongst us. Until I found out that I'm nothing like the ocean around me. I was different. I was an Anomaly.

I was just a college kid in Cosmopolis, another normal human who was awestruck every time I saw The Guardsman zoom across the city, or see a news report of Nitrous' crime-fighting shenanigans in Sunset City, all the way on the other side of the U.S. Another fragile human being, merely made of flesh and bone and nothing else, that cheered each time The Vanguard came together to save the world.

When an attack on Cosmopolis by the villain Sergeant Steel destroyed the foundations of my apartment and others in my neighborhood, I thought I was gonna lose everything. That I was gonna die. I just accepted my fate as the floor began crumbling beneath me. To my surprise, however, it seemed that the entire building was frozen in time. I stopped it from falling. I gave other residents enough time to escape to a safer area. I was a hero, even if no one, not even I, knew what I had done.

I spent time exploring my abilities in my free time between lectures. I don't know why, but it took me months, nearly a year, to be able to control the same amount as I did when I first gained my powers. So I started small. I floated pebbles between my hands, then on a single hand, then I was able to attract them to my hands from a few meters away. For the first time in my 21 years of life, I didn't feel weak, or pathetic, or forgotten. For the first time, I felt like I could be more than myself. And so I did.

I'd go to places in Cosmopolis where Guardsman had recently done battle against one of his rogues. I'd studied architectural engineering thoroughly before going on my first outing, so I was able to reconstruct a lot of the buildings in a few weeks. Just the broad strokes, though. I couldn't get the electrical or water systems down, so I just left a lot of the buildings with hollow walls to let the actual electricians and plumbers do their work.

Still, no one gave a shit about me. I was just some rando in a washed-out CSU hoodie and sweatpants.

I eventually realized that I would probably be able to work better if I had the blueprints for the buildings. Just walking up to wherever they keep them and asking for them probably wouldn't work well, so I planned. Well, "planned" is glorifying it. I did the first thing that popped in my head: make a costume to get attention. And so I did.

I was never the artsy type, so I just bought a wetsuit and mask online. But it worked. After the metas had their fill of fighting, I'd arrive on the scene and start working. The bigger news reporters would keep their focus on Guardsman or Harddrive or whoever did the day-saving, but the smaller news organizations turned their focus to me. Knowledge of my presence was slowly increased, especially online. People on Reddit and Tumblr took to calling me either The Constructor or The Architect. I took up the latter.

One day, when even the larger news networks in Cosmopolis had turned their attention onto me, someone came up to me. She told me her name was Sandy and that she had a proposition. She'd be my manager, managing any relations or exchanges I don't have the time to deal with, and helping me with marketability. I took her up on her offer. She made me a new suit, talked to the city to get blueprints, and whatever else. It's been a while, I've forgotten a lot of what we did.

Hero teams contracted me to restore their headquarters, standalone heroes and vigilantes needed help with rebuilding their bases, cities wanted cheap labor. I did it all. I finally felt like I was contributing to society. That I mattered. I was finally told that I mattered. Until the day I chose to do what I knew was right.

Cosmopolis, despite what outsiders think it is, is just like any other city. One side of the city is covered in skyscrapers, the other in slums. Struggling people who can't escape their situations, whether that be out of discrimination, mental disabilities, mental illnesses, addiction, criminal affiliation, they all live with constant strife.

The worst part of it all, however, is that I'm just like everyone else. Every time I passed one on the street or from inside a cab, I looked away. Seeing them suffer under the city's hand tore out my soul. It didn't matter that my reasoning was different from those who averted their eyes out of spite or disgust, I still looked the other direction. I refused to be like them. To kick them while they're already down. So I started building them up, literally.

I'd scour throughout the city, look through sites listing run-down neighborhoods or buildings, and I'd go there. I'd tear them down and build them back up. I gave people places to stay, where they wouldn't go cold or without a bed for the night. I gave them the kindness that might help them stop simply surviving, and finally begin living.

Then the comments came. Middle and upper class began shouting their complaints online and in my face, whether personally or through a reporter. They hated seeing people, who they deemed "undesirable," getting any help. Giving some cash was already too much for them to handle, so I can see why they saw this in such a bad light. Why their hateful eyes had seen this as a sin.

I went to interviews and I kept trying to get my viewpoint out there. No one listened. No one cared. All they saw was filth getting help by more filth.

So I made shelters around the city in places no one would notice. Rooves out of land in the parks, more empathetic architecture. I removed the spikes underneath bridges that prevent people from getting shelter from the rain and made the benches softer for those who had no beds. But still, no one gave a shit. The city made laws against how much anyone could alter it. I gave up on that.

I was sent death threats. I was told that I was helping the scum grow. That I was making Cosmopolis shine less. It didn't help that Guardsman was comatose from a battle for nearly 6 months at that point. It meant I had no one, not even the hero of heroes, the embodiment of infinite kindness to everyone, to back me up. I was alone. I stopped everything. I pushed away everyone. I fired Sandy, apologizing every second of it. I basically disappeared from the face of the Earth.

Then I heard that they were building a stadium on the Southeast Side. Displacing hundreds of people. Their hope being snuffed out by the fat cats on the top of the totem pole. I wouldn't stand by it. I came as fast as I could and I tore it all down. Every beam and panel and every square inch was just rubble when I was finished.

M.I.R.A. was contacted after the cops weren't able to get me to stand down. They trapped me in an Akonite cell in Pandora's Box. The media labeled me as "a false hero," "a fallen angel," "a wolf in sheep's clothing," "a villain." I just wanted to make things better. With The Vanguard keeping their eyes on the larger threats, and each individual member focusing on the broad strokes that are their respective cities, there were barely any who were looking out for the little guy. That's all I wanted to be. The one to look out for the everyman, the people on the streets. My people. I wanted to take care of my neighbors, friends, and loved ones. But I guess all people care about are themselves.

I eventually found that Akonite didn't work on my powers. How or why, I don't know. Maybe it was because it was just another mineral. Maybe it just didn't have an effect on me. Either way, I knew that this wouldn't stop me. I'm The Architect. I'm a hero. I won't let corruption, greed, and cruelty hinder that. I'll dissent from the indifference. From the apathy. From the fear of helping my city.

#constructorverse #constructor #writingpracticetime #superhero #au character #from someone elses universe #but in mine #streetlight comics

[phoebehalliwell]

Ok ok ok do you think the next gen (plus your lovely non-canon next gen ocs like the twins, Dency, and her crew) would go to Pride? What would their experiences at Pride be like?

okay okay okay okay okay

wyatt - gay - i think wyatt was one of those kids who knew he was gay from like. elementary school age like young and i think that like lowkey scared piper in the sense like oh my god how do i be a progressive mom like how do i like umm you know like how do i like gay good!! aaaaaaaa um. so i think you know i think there are a million and one gay witch couples so like you know piper and leo like idk meet up with one of leo's old charges maybe leo was like a whitelighter for this one gal and then she had kids so leo was a whitelighter for them as well and one of them is a lesbian and she lives with her partner (also a witch) in the castro and piper and leo are like hi. you're gay. to which they're like yes?? and they're like. how. like. how would you like to be raised. like. if you were. if you were say you were nine right now and also a boy and also our son and you just came out as gay, how would you like to be raised. like what would you like your parents to do. so i think wyatt grew up in like a super supportive environment occasionally just a lil too supportive you know like not everything's a gay thing we don't need to bring it up all the time but also wyatt does bring it up all the time so hey. i think he definitely like bought a big ol pride flag for his room and has multiple like t shirts and stuff and joined the local gsa so when pride comes around it's a Whole Thing and since you know he's so young he's in like middle school gsa not all parents are like too keen to like turn their kids lose upon pride like you know they're all just like twelve no need to set them lose upon the city type vibes so for those whose parents are against it (or for those who are still in the closet) i think wyatt hosts a pride party (something piper goes all out for as far as cooking goes it's ridiculous--and you should see what paige and phoebe do to the manor it's the whole kit and caboodle) which ends up become a traditions so those from like middle school and high school and college all that that he keeps in touch with i think he still hosts pride parties just as kind of an old tradition (and i think piper still bakes pride flag cookies every june)

chris - queer (both sexuality and gender) - tbh unlike wyatt i think it took chris a very very long time for the other shoe to drop bc like yes he has a very gay brother but like wyatt has always easily fit in a binary. like he has always been very strongly male and he has always been very strongly gay like wyatt's identity has never been fluid so i think like w chris realizing that he is queer is just you know like um. honestly i don't even know. that gradual realization of wait. is this not how the rest of y'all are? pride for chris i think is a much more subtle thing than it is for wyatt i mean he still fucking loves piper's pride cookies i mean who doesn't but he's less of a flag guy less of a parade guy but a lot of local artists to a lot more like you know like gay art as far as like one person shows and poetry readings and concerts and all that and i think that's very much chris's speed he doesn't consider himself an artsy type at all he doesn't consider himself creative which is pretty funny bc the way he practices magic so clearly stands in disagreement w his persona viewpoint but he fucking loves like consuming art that's easily his favorite thing about june (bc it sure a s hell isn't the weather he wakes up and it's not like in the mid 40's he's like hey what the fuck?)

melinda - demisexual - okay tbh i really only put this there for this particular headcanon bc while i’d like melinda to be queer i have not decided what her identity is per se tho i will say i’m fond of the idea of demisexual bc it is just so personal and so intimate especially for an empath like you can always feel other people’s feelings you always know how people feel about you and you can feel sexual attraction as others experience it but to only have that really happen to you once you feel like super like about someone like. like to finally like feel that yourself. idk i think that could be interesting. anyways. i think melinda has always loved wyatt’s little pride parties (more than she’s loved pj’s (don’t tell pj)) bc they’re just so like. silly. like everyone there is so giggly and just carefree and playful and it just feels silly. like. endorphins. in my writings she’s got a whitelighter her name is effie and she is posing as melinda’s RA in college meaning she gets to you know host little pride events for at the very least the dorm hall which i think melinda gets really into she’s really like her mother in that party planning sense they bring in her roommate ale who’s a total creative type you know full nine yards together that trio concocts so many cute lil ideas

kat - lesbian - kat is also one of those kids who knew they were gay pretty early like by the end of elementary school she was like yes... i like girls... but you know like a year or two into middle school she was like oh! i don’t like boys. which was the real revelation for her i think she was a bit of a gsa kid early on but there were just a bit too many personalities there for her liking she would consistently butt heads with other figures trying to establish themselves as the leader (she may or may not have issues w authority) so she kinda abandoned that i think kat much like her lovely aunt phoebe is a bit of a serial dater so rarely does a pride month pass where she doesn’t have a girlfriend most of the girls she dates are not girls she goes to high school with but rather girls she goes to magic school with which i personally think magic school’s “district” is just like. the western portion of america reaching into the mountains and then there are a couple students there from you know elsewhere bc i think well tangent time (it’s a small tangent i swear!) i think most well established magical families don’t send their kids to school i mean it is in essence public school and they would much rather teach their kids in the ways of their family from their sacred book rather than send them to some school to learns god knows what so like the montanas and calloways and even for a really long time the warren line did not send their kids to school however with the charmed ones taking over magic school (which is why it’s now affectionately dubbed “charm school”) a couple more established magical families are like hey let me get in on that and paige would love to be like no go to your own local school but the elders are like come on what’s it to you it literally doesn’t matter let em in so there are a couple students from like. all over the world. tangent over basically kat loves to travel to explore the world so i think pride month for her is her & her girlfriend exploring san francisco w kat playing tour guide and then going to whatever hometown her gf is from and doing the exact same thing technically it’s really no different from any other month in the year but kat does definitely secretly look forward to being openly and annoyingly gay she thinks it’s really fun (she gets incredibly annoyed when people don’t immediately clock her as a lesbian she’s like don’t i look like a lesbian?? and tamora’s like ??? and henry’s like no u just like like a girl who has pinterest which lmao lowkey stung but really any opportunity kat gets to be like long live the lesbians!! is a good opportunity)

tamora - she’s straight lmao - you always need one token straight. that being said i think she has a lot of gay friends or at least she did in high school they all kind of went off to college and she stayed home and they kind of fell out of touch bc well what can she say tam’s not great at communication and to be perfectly honest she was never really integral in any friend groups so she’ll still comment “so cute❣❣❣” on instagram posts but thats about where communication stops and starts for her but since the friend pack would always go to pride she would usually tag along just for funsies and like the free fucking capital one pens or whatever. 

henry - bi - honestly? i don’t think henry does that much for pride. like pj always throws some type of party(ies) and he’ll always attend those and he’ll go to like sf pride and all that and if need be he’ll assist pj in her party planning but really the only difference for him is that the social events he attends fly more flags. like don’t get me wrong it’s not like he dislikes pride month or anything not remotely (tho rainbow capitalism is a whole nother story tamora has caught that earful seven ways to sunday he fucking hates that shit) but yeah he himself does not change his energy at all for pride month he just brings his cute lil gay ass to wherever the party is and lights up the room. done and done.

pj - bi - oh my god don’t even get my fucking started. okay okay okay. so she’s in asb right associative (?) student body so obviously planning school pride events? super important to her. she’s technically in gsa but very very rarely graces a meeting with her presence due to her schedule. she is however in a group chat w the gsa leaders in order to best plan the mixer dance between all the local school’s gsas. beyond that, magic school. duh. obviously needs events. this gets to be very different from high school’s stuff because she gets to use ~magic~ so it’s even more fun of a challenge. oh, and then, of course, like, her social life, obviously she needs to throw some parties like not through an educational institution. and remember how wyatt’s were these lowkey just super fun super casual get togethers aint nothing but a thing don’t even worry about it? yeah. that’s not how pj rolls. peyton has gotten super good at telekinetically moving tiny particles bc she always gets practice trying to clear glitter of her corner in the couch next morning. and of course i haven’t even touched on the cupid part. we’ll get to that

parker - ace - love pj’s parties hated planning pj’s parties other than offering opinions on the guest list. pj’s like should i do like a soda fountain should i try to get a soda fountain is that too much cans are probably just easier but it’s not as fun also if you can mix drinks at a mixer right right but idk it’s a lot of effort so if it’s not gonna land maybe i don’t want to and parker is just like. the little spinning beachball on the computer. whatever you want to happen, it’s not happening here. that being said both her & pj love to meddle, and both her and pj can physically see love. now, they don’t have the power to slip through cracks in time or speak to other’s subconsciouses, their witch half kinda screws with their cupid powers in that sense, so they’re not “full” cupids, but they can still see if there’s a connection and then just speak to the conscious. no mind reading necessary. in general, the cupitches run a betting pool on relationships; there’s a whiteboard with names, some potential pairs and bets on when they’ll finally get together, others established couples with guesses on the expiration date. peyton doesn’t play bc she just got to high school and doesn’t know these people, also she thinks it’s weird. melinda will play using her empathy powers, henry will play bc it’s fun. and then there’s a pride edition. there’s a whiteboard and on it a list of a whole bunch of single gays may 31st you place your initial claims and they go in your section of the whiteboard you can add on people throughout the month if you’d like they just can’t already be someone else’s charge. then the matchmaking begins. the goal? help these kids find love. whoever has made the most matches that survive through the end of june wins (henry works on the “mortal scale” as it’s dubbed, his number is always multiplied by 2 (he’s arguing for 2.5) because he can’t see love or teleport which puts a damper on how fast he can pair together couples. winner gets something like $100. pj normally wins, but parker is hot on her tail. it’s difficult forcing premonitions for personal gain, but uhh it’s not personal gain if she uses it to find people love (right??) so she frequently tries to get visions of what couples will form on their own to boost her bets

peyton - questioning - little baby peyton. idk what she is. i have no idea. she likes going to magic school’s pride events tho. those are fun. she doesn’t like pj’s parties. those are overwhelming. henry usually goes to pride with his pack of friends and they can be a bit loud so usually tamora will take her to pride. she like seeing all the love though. sometimes she’ll put on a big ol pair of heart shaped sunglasses so no one can see how out of focus her eyes are and go to one of those events in the park that just has like a bunch of like old gay couples in their like 60s and stuff and she’ll just look at all the love she thinks it’s the sweetest thing

dency - queer - dency’s like pj except she has less friends. no offence. she loves planning an absolute rager. she doesn’t do any of the asb type things she was never class president or anything close to that my god so there are never any school sanctioned events but she does have an in at a super cool club turned bar that’s still kind of a club [see this post for more info!] so she’s like lads. we gotta throw a rager. i think she definitely goes to pride with her friends dressed in some of the most ridiculous outfits you’ve ever seen

dove - bi - complete opposite of dency in the sense that multiple like you know queer advocacy groups and all that will host fundraisers and she’s like look you want real money ditch the ugly screen printed cotton tshirts and stupid fucking face painting booth and host a gala. so dove will frequently throw those together dency is forced to be in attendance and look nice because usually when dove says you have to come to this rich people thing she lets dency look like dency bc she find it incredibly funny watching the rich people squirm but for this she’s like it’s for the little gay kids so best behavior now.

penn - straight - penn gets a mini section just to state that she’s always at dove’s stupid galas bc piper’s restaurant always caters for these things and she works as a chef in piper’s restaurant something very few people know and she spends the entire thing dodging conversations with rich people (remind her too much of the insufferable elders) and avoiding dove and dency

and then just a section for the w&s household just because they [warren, sheridan, keyboards, jenny] all live together. and then monica and luz are over so frequently they practically live there too. for starters, and kinda pride thing that’s like we have live music odd are the band’s on that poster towards the bottom in the extra small font a) bc you gotta get your name out there b) keyboards being both gay (used as an umbrella term) and trans is really big on the whole gay rights thing. jenny is genderqueer and bi but is also a bit of a loner so wouldn’t do as much as keyboards does bc keyboards knows too many people but she still loves to tear it up. warren is bi and also a slut he Loves this month. monica and luz to like tarot and palm and tea leaf readings at any events. sheridan is the honorary straight person but honestly he’s been surrounded w gay people all this life that this is just the norm. he finds that bi women are very into him, monica says it’s because he’s blond which is “a feminine trait fr”

#next gen #charmed next generation #oh golly gee i probably should tag this #just so i can find what i said later #okay here we go #wyatt halliwell #chris halliwell #melinda halliwell #kat mitchell #tamora mitchell #henry mitchell jr #pj halliwell #parker halliwell #peyton halliwell #dency halliwell #dove clifton-hartfield #penn halliwell #warren halliwell #sheridan halliwell #keyboards #jenny lang bianfu #monica petrova #luz cifuentes #💌 #tada

[wild-west-wind]

There’s a lot I don’t miss about living in LA, but I do miss going out after work with folks, and a stranger goes up to my coworker and says like “I was at your show, very interesting stuff, you really took the form in an exciting direction.” And he leaves and I ask my work friend if that was one of their improv things and they reply “No, haha, remember how I was talking about my clown classes?” and DO NOT ELABORATE.

#there is a city by the sea #part time interp and sci comm absorb the weirdest folks #especially when you live in a city with a lot of artsy types who need to keep the lights on

[quasieli]

top six: fictional characters that give you gender envy, flowers, little things that make you happy and d&d moments :D

Ooh lotsa questions!

Gender Envy:

1) Bow from She-Ra (2018). Something about buff athletic dude who wears crop tops and is soft as hell is very Gender to me.

2) Vax from Critical Role. Pretty boy, kinda goth rogue? That’s sexy as hell and I wish that was me. 

3) In a wildly different idea of gender envy, I’ve been thinking about it lately and @quantum-lesbian’s character in the Frostmaiden game I’m in with them, Ambrose, is Big Gender. Beautiful non-binary drow with a starry and kinda witchy aesthetic that dresses super grandly and ostentatiously no matter the occasion? Yes please.

4) Pete from The Unsleeping City, specifically season two. I adore season one Pete but season two Pete that works in a queer bookshop and has a teapot arcane focus, is artsy and is unapologetically a trans man who doesn’t give a shit about gender roles? Sign me the fuck up.  

5) Beau from Critical Role. Buff GNC lesbian mixed with academia, but like academia from the prospective of a grad student with ADHD trying to learn everything about their special interests? A+, I love her and I’m jealous. 

6) I’m gonna cheat a lil bit for this last one. I know the prompt is fictional characters, but Julia Lepetit and Jacob Andrews in their Hitman streams? Simultaneously both of them were Gender for me. Jacob esp felt like that for me, which is weird cause dresses can make me dysphoric, but I am also slightly envious of the Dude in a Dress type of gender presentation. 

Can you tell that I’m a confused trans masc enby

Gonna put it under the cut from here cause oof, there’s still a lot more.

Flowers:

1) Big slut for Sunflowers, always have been, always will be.

2) Fun fact, my dad’s family used to own a flower shop (in like the 70s, so I never got to see it :(), and one of their big things was hydrangeas. My dad has always loved them and now I love the snowballs too!  

3) A recent favorite, the Baker’s Globe Mallow. It’s a type of flower that only grows from the soils of forests that have been affected by wildfires. It’s a simple little flower but I love the idea of something beautiful rising from the ashes after tragedy. A little dramatic, but I’m queer, ofc I’m dramatic.

4) Roses are another important flower to my family (Rose was a family name for a couple generations), and ya know, they’re a classic. 

5) There’s this beautiful magnolia tree in front of my house that blooms with the most beautiful white and pink flowers every spring, and it’s one of my favorite things to see every year. 

6) There’s so many different types of Lillies and they’re all very pretty, but the Purple Stargazer is prob my favorite.

Little Things That Make Me Happy:

1) My cat, Maddie. She may be a cranky girl at times, but she is also very sweet and will always be my baby (even though she is 12). 

2) Not a little thing really, but my best friend. Just getting a sweet/silly text from her or the two of us chilling in a room, sitting in a comfortable silence because we just like being together, nothing better. 

3) Baking, esp if I’m doing it for others. I’m not much of a sweets person myself, a little treat every once in a while type person, but I love baking. It’s a very relaxing process for me, even when it can sometimes get stressful, but seeing people enjoying something I made, especially something that brought me great joy to make, is simply the best. 

4) In the same sorta vein, crafting and other art, but that’s a bit more personal. I love making things for others, but art, particularly drawing, is something I do more for me. It’s such a great feeling when you can get into a really good art mood and just sink yourself into a project. I love it.

5) My plush toys. Yes, I am a 23 year old, no I will not stop loving my plushies. I just got a few new friends, which I made a post about recently, and they such good cuddle buddies. However, there is one king amongst them all. I have this old, beat up christmas puppy beanie baby, on his tag named Jingle Pup, but I just call him Jingle. I had one version of him since I was like 6, but he currently lives on a shelf cause he is very beaten up and fragile, but his “brother”, who I got when I was 8, is still in kinda good shape and is currently chilling on my chest as I type this lol.

6) Again, not a little thing, but it’s important to mention; D&D. The game itself is such a joy, but truly the best part of it is the people. I love creating stories and memories with people through this weird little game. Truly one of my favorite things to do.

D&D Moments:

These are all gonna be personal moments, rather than anything from actual play shows/podcasts. RC is Reforged Campaign, where I play Saube, and FM is Frostmaiden, where I play Sparks.

1) RC - Meeting Mahety, Saube’s girlfriend. We met her way back in session 12 and we are now up to like session 73. Saube saw her and was immediately big heart eyes at her but also felt a bit awkward and shy. So, being a game a dice, I decided to roll. 10 or higher, Saube would talk to her, 9 or lower, she’d stay put. I rolled a 17, 17 is now a lucky number for me. I love Mahety and I’d die for her. 

2) FM - This was an insane fight that should not have been so crazy, but in a fairly early session, my group went up against an angry druid and her awakened animals. So much batshit stuff happened in that fight, and we unfortunately lost our bread loving bard (RIP Agneyis), but one of my favorite combat turns happened in this fight. Our artificer, Omaren, has a robe of useful items and one of the patches on it creates a large pit. Thinking quickly, Omaren tore off the patch, slid it under one of the dire wolves we were fighting and created a looney tunes style pit under it, allowing us to take it out easily via pot shots. Such a clutch move and such a funny visual, especially because the dire wolf kept failing the checks to get out of the pit.  

3) RC - Saube’s Zebrith (I will never remember how this actually spelled RIP). So, for context, Saube ended up with a death curse (long story) that mechanically meant they had disadvantage on any death saving throws. Scary as hell, need to get that fixed! So, Saube and their party had to be smuggled into another country to talk with some religious leaders of a goddess known as The First, the goddess of death. They were told that Saube would have to go through the aforementioned ritual, which included her soul leaving her body for a short period of time. During this ritual, her friends had to call back to her, to say things that would bring her back to her body and I still cry thinking about that game. That ritual was not only important for Saube bodily, but spiritually as well. After that ritual, Saube officially became a cleric of The First! 

4) A real sappy one, RC - Saube meeting all of her friends. Anyone who follows along with the rantings on my blog probably knows how important this game is to me. I met this random group of strangers on tumblr and formed a D&D party with them and now, a year and a half later, I honestly think it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I know that sounds silly and dramatic but not only has this game brought me so much joy and comfort, but I also gained a group of really amazing friends who have been nothing but amazing since day one. As much as Saube knows she can depend on SICL, I know I can depend on my group of weirdos lol. We both love our friends very much and even though we’ve all been through some crazy shit, we wouldn’t change it for the world.    

5) RC - Just playing Saube in general. I really didn’t intend for it to be this way, but Saube is very much a reflection of myself. She is the first long term character I have ever played and so much of me is in her. I try not to treat D&D like therapy, because that’s unfair to my DM and fellow party members, but playing Saube has allowed me to work through some of my own problems, especially social anxiety, in a lot safer of an environment. It isn’t so much that I’m asking this game to help me fix my life, but playing out these scenarios that, in the real world, would make me anxious or make me freak out, I can stop, take a moment to breathe and work out these issues in a way that makes sense to me. Playing her has led me to understanding myself a bit better, as well, and that’s truly such a wonderfully unexpected gift from this whole experience. 

6) Lastly, a silly one: RC - Getting a crit 6. The last session of this game got real interesting. Saube’s party ended up in the ethereal plane and magic got real fucky there. So, any time any of us tried to cast a spell, we’d roll a d20, not look at the result, and then try to guess what number rolled. The closer to the number, the better the result. A few times, a few people managed to get within like 3 or 4 of their roll, but oh the power I felt when I rolled a 6 (on Saube’s die!) and guessed it correctly! So, not only did the spell (Bless) work, but it worked super well. So instead of getting +1d4 to attack rolls and saving throws, Saube and two other party members got +2d4 to attacks, saving throws and skill checks. So powerful I broke the rules of D&D lmao. 

#asks #ask games #floralprintshark #D&D #Flowers #Saube #Sauhety #SICL #Sparks #long post #thanks <3 <3

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter five: a different kind of affair

Sam wondered if she could make it to one of Testament's tour dates when she thought about what Marla had suggested to her. There was so much to consider and carry out, between them and Aurora's wedding that it made it hard to focus on her school work. Add to this, there was the new venture with the Bristol paper that Ruben had given her. So much to do and yet it felt as though twenty four hours in a day wasn't enough to satisfy it all. There had to be a way out of it all at some point, and there was so much to think about as well.

Given it was a clear day out that morning, and a break from the mid winter snows, she decided to put her boots and her coat back on and head out for a walk. She had called Belinda before hand, given she had no idea if or when she would be able to come on down to Hell's Kitchen that day, but she wanted to see how things were with Marla nearby once again. That time around, she left the black hat behind on the coffee table. If she was to let Cliff rest, then she had to let the hat rest for a bit.

It was so weird having to spend Valentine's Day by herself, but she knew that Marla did as well. It wasn't as bad as it could be, especially once she knew that the Bronx was in fact a hard place to live for a lot of people there.

Indeed, it was a rather tight borough to live in, especially once she made her way down towards the corner, and the pale gray brick of the apartment complexes sent a shiver down her spine more than the very snow that piled up about the sidewalks. And yet it was one that she felt comfortable with: when she stood at the corner for a second with her hands tucked into her coat pockets, and she breathed in the cold crisp New York air around her, she knew she was home there in the city.

A change of pace and a good look around and there was no need to leave from there.

She had no idea if Marla had already moved back down to Hell's Kitchen, but she seemed rather urgent about it when she left the apartment after they came back to New York City. And when she stood right before Charlie's building, right before those cold stone front steps, she knew that things were going to be different there. She need not let that throw a damper onto her friendship with him, however: she gazed up to the windows, especially up to his floor, and she could see that his drapes were pulled over the pane. It was still rather early, about ten thirty in the morning, but she wondered if he slept well the night before. He and Frank were her best friends after all.

A little black car drove past her and she thought about Joey. She thought about the kiss she had given him so her mother would take her eyes off of him, but in retrospect, she felt a bit of something there. The smoothness and softness of those dark lips. The way in which his body felt when she held him close to her. There was something there between them, but she couldn't exactly describe it.

She looked down the block at the wrought iron fence around the subway entrance. She only went to Belinda's place once before but she knew of the way. With the cold wind at her back, she made her way down there and paid the fare before she stepped on the train. It felt so strange to ride the subway without her hat on and without her school bag on hand, but she held onto the rung over her head all the way down to the heart of Manhattan and to that funky neighborhood in Hell's Kitchen.

All she recalled was the fact that her building stood near the cold and icy Hudson River, about a block away from the harbor.

“I mean, you can literally throw a rock from the harbor and you'll be in New Jersey,” as Belinda herself put it for her.

But once she reached that cold, stony terminal, and she made her way up the stairs to the street, the memory of it was as clear as day. She gazed across the street to the little alleyway, and she knew that was it there. Sam adjusted the strap on her purse as she stood there on the curb for a second. Not too far from there was Central Park. If nothing, they could make their way up there once the snows cleared away for the fresh flowers and green grass around them.

Just standing there, it hit her: the city was art. Every part of it was a piece of art, even the places that weren't as attractive or crowded with the homeless. It all too much of a soul. Too much of a soul that she never got to see in Los Angeles, or in Reno or even San Francisco. There was no way she could leave it. There was no way she could leave when her heart was too filled to the brim with art.

She crossed the street and then, once she reached the alleway, she peered up to the two buildings on either side. Belinda's apartment had a balcony: she knew that much. Sam fixed the strap on her purse yet again as she made her way towards the stairs. Joey and those bowls of pho came to mind right then. That was it!

She knocked on the door twice and Belinda immediately answered, complete with her blonde hair done up in an extra neat and nice bun rested upon the crown of her head and her body wrapped in a school sweatshirt.

“Hey! I was wondering when you'd get here. C'mon in—”

“Just wanted to see life with Marla near to you again,” Sam admitted once she had stepped inside of the warm cozy apartment. The faint but pungent smell of turpentine in the front room there made her wrinkle her nose a bit. “Have you been painting?”

“I have, yes! Just finished one that I plan on giving to the Zazulas—it's just a painting of some sunflowers, but Marsha told me that anything light is good, though. It's drying right now so I can't really show it off just yet.”

“Right on, Bel! By the way, is Marla coming over?”

“She should, yeah—like she called about ten minutes ago, but I dunno entirely as to when she'll be here.”

“Besides, I want to know more about Hell's Kitchen,” Sam started as the thought of painting with oils made her heart skip a few beats.

“Well, this place used to be real poor—not even that long ago, either. Real poor and filled with a lot of Irish workers, like my dad was one, and I think both her father and grandfather were of the same class, too. But things have really turned around while we—Marla and I, were growing up, though. There's a lot of aspiring actors here, especially. Our parents wanted us to have a good life and do what we loved. So, we inadvertently helped rebuild this place from the ground up into a more artsy type neighborhood.” Belinda then froze and she tilted her head to the side. “What's on your mind right now?”

“Marla suggested I move down here so I'm closer to you, and so I'm in a more artist's type setting,” Sam replied in a single breath, and Belinda's face lit up and she clapped her hands at the sound of that.

“Would you? We can help you move into your new place!”

“Well, I have to find a new place 'round here first, though. But now that I'm here, I kinda like the idea of doing that. It'd be easier on me to get to and from school—you know, I wouldn't have to ride the subway so much. And I'll be closer to my friends, too.”

“And you can fit right in with all of us artists here, too!”

“And—exactly. I'll be in an artist's neighborhood, too. The pieces just fit perfectly, Bel.”

A knock on the door caught their attention.

“That must be Marla,” Belinda said, and she opened the door to find Aurora right at the front step.

“Oh, hey future bride,” she greeted her, to which Aurora laughed at that.

“I just wanted to give you this,” she explained as she handed Belinda a little sheet of white paper. “Hey, Sam!”

“Mrs. St. Vitus,” Sam teased her, and that coaxed another laugh out of her.

“Oh, jeez, so there's a lot of things going on right now that my passport is going to be voided?” Belinda groaned in a single breath.

“No, it's just over in Lebanon,” Aurora explained. “So we can't travel to Lebanon with the boys if we wish to do so. You can go anywhere if you wish.”

“You've got your passport?” Sam asked her.

“Just got it,” Belinda replied as she tucked the paper into her jeans pocket. “Real simple to get if you haven't already.”

“That might be a good idea...” Something caught her eye, and Sam turned to the shelf on the wall to her left. A series of ceramic sake cups stood right there, already glazed in earthy colors, and Sam suddenly had the idea to make some herself: she could tell that Belinda had made them in one of her classes at some point.

Someone catching their breath emerged in the doorway right behind Aurora, and Marla reached the top for herself.

“There's the lady of the hour,” Sam remarked.

“I'm here, I'm here... I guess I can get the old apartment back for a thousand bucks,” she informed them, out of breath.

“A thousand!” Belinda and Sam proclaimed in unison.

“Yeah. Stunned me, too.” Marla then shook her head at that. “I have the first month's rent but it's gonna be brutal getting that grand, though. I want my place back, too. There was a couple who lived in there and I guess it was just too small for their huge asses.” She then turned to Belinda.

“You wanna stay here with me for a bit?” she asked her.

“If it's not too much trouble,” Marla replied as she let out a long low whistle. “I don't really have much option, Bel. My dad's sick and my mom's disappointed in me right now.”

“For what?” Aurora asked her as she stepped into the apartment to let her inside.

“For breaking up with Charlie. I told her that he broke up with me, not the other way around. But, she's still disappointed in me about it, though.” She then turned to Belinda. “I don't have a lot of stuff, but I do have Genie—the cat we found down at Montana that one time.”

“I can live with a cat for a bit,” Belinda declared with a nod of her head. “I like Genie, too. But the only drawback is we'll have to split the rent, though.”

“That's okay, I can do that,” Marla assured her.

Sam sighed through her nose as she stood with her back to the wall. She hoped it wouldn't be too much trouble to look for a place for herself there in Hell's Kitchen. She returned to the shelf on the wall to the left.

“Not to change the subject or anything,” she started again, “but Bel, what's the story behind these little cups here?”

“Oh, those?” Belinda brought her hand to the shelf. “I made these in high school. And Frankie came over just the other day and he took them down to Montana and shared them with the people down there.”

“Aw, that was sweet of him!” Marla declared.

“Yeah, I know! He was like 'that's actually pretty good, Belinda—mind if I share it at all?' And I said, 'not at all.' So he took the cups with him up to their new space and he shared them with everyone who works there. They work perfectly as regular cups as much as they are sake cups.”

“I'm just thinking of all the things you could make with ceramic,” Sam confessed.

“There's so much,” Belinda replied with a shake of her head, “—the world of physical art is endless, Sam I am.” She then bowed into the kitchen, and Marla had made her way in there for something for herself. Sam turned to Aurora, who was adjusting the light purple engagement ring on her left finger as if it was stuck. She then gestured for Sam to come in closer to her.

“We've narrowed it down to either the middle of May or June first,” she told her.

“What, the wedding?”

“Yeah. And—” Aurora shifted her weight right there. “—we want you to be a part of it.”

“Oh?”

She nodded her head.

“Yeah. Since you're my best friend, and I'm an only child, I want you to be my maid of honor.”

“I'd be honored!” Sam told her; so the walk was a good idea after all.

“I'm just gonna say this right now, though,” Aurora continued, “Anthrax are going to Japan next month for four dates, I think—they just got home from Britain, like their flight should be coming in at any second. And I have to talk to Charlie and Joey about something.”

“Anthrax are home?” Marla asked her, concerned.

“Yeah—I think they are. Why?”

“Charlie and Marla just broke up and she's got nowhere to go at the moment,” Sam told her in a single breath.

“Oh, shit!”

“Yeah, you're definitely staying with me for a bit,” Belinda quipped.

“And yeah, I better get my things out of the car...” Marla downed the glass of water right then and she bowed past them to the front door.

“Here, I'll help you,” Sam offered, and the two girls made their way back outside to Marla's car parked down the sidewalk, which Sam herself had never seen before but she knew it was hers.

“Again, it's not a lot,” Marla assured her as she unlocked the doors, “but I'm still moving, though.”

“I know how hard it is,” she replied with a flash back to when she first moved to New York. She took the first suitcase out while Marla took the other two for herself; Sam offered to lock the doors again, but she talked her out of it when she said that she had to run back up to the Bronx to fetch Genie. Belinda took her things and helped lug them back up the stairs.

Sam then turned to the rest of the complex there in the alleyway, and no sooner had she done so, when she recognized that lush dark hair and those fine bangs over a black leather jacket and a knit scarf. She grinned at the sight of him.

“Hey, Frankie!” she declared and he nodded his head at her.

“Hey, you! I was just thinking about you!” She threw her arms around him and he held her close to his body.

“What's been going on?” Sam asked him with a glance up at his face. “I feel like I haven't seen you in a million years.”

“Little bit of touring plus recording the new things, and then Charlie and I have to talk about some important things there at the studio,” Frank explained in a single breath. “I just swung by here because I heard about him and Marla, and I wondered if she was here at all.”

“She is—and where's Joey at?” Sam asked him.

“He's up there right now, too. I'm just kinda on break at the moment. Having just gotten home from a final date in beautiful Tokyo and whatnot.” He then looked on at her with a twinkle in his eye, and the little piece of white gum rested against the side of his lower row of teeth.

“Our new album should be out in the middle of March, you know,” he told her with an excited tone to his voice. “It's been a long road to hoe, but I think we've got it all together now.”

“Oh, excellent!” And she realized that she still had yet to listen to Spreading the Disease on Dan's record player. She stopped herself right then. “Wait a minute, you guys didn't record it in upstate New York?”

“Nah, we pulled out of there like last minute. We went all way the down to Miami to get it together. Our engineers kept trying to make us sound like Def Leppard the first couple of days there at Pyramid so we were like, 'okay, what do we do?' and we started going down to Florida as a result.”

Marla and Belinda emerged from the apartment right then.

“Thought I heard Frankie's voice,” the former declared.

“I'm here!” he retorted with a laugh. “Hey, you girls wanna get some pizza or something? I'm kinda hungry myself.”

“Absolutely!” Belinda said. “Just let me grab my key...”

“I have to get my cat,” Marla stated as she made her way back down the alleyway and back towards her car, “but I'll catch you guys later, though—”

Aurora emerged from the apartment right then, and then the four of them made their way down the block to a small pizza parlor, which Marla declared was the best in Hell's Kitchen.

“In town, though, you've gotta go over to Joe's,” Frank insisted as they walked inside there.

“Oh, definitely, nothin' beats Joe's,” Belinda followed up.

“And there's Alex!” Aurora pointed across the room, where they spotted Alex himself near the counter with his face rested in the palm of his hand, as if he waited for someone; Sam spotted the knit yarmulke on top of his black hair so it actually resembled to a crown.

“Is he here by himself?” Frank asked her.

“Dunno—” Meanwhile, Sam and Belinda took their seats there at the table closest to the door and right underneath a little television suspended over the front counter. The hard wooden bench felt like sitting at a picnic table; Sam turned her attention to Belinda.

“You gonna be okay with Marla living with you for a bit?”

“Oh, yeah! Mar and I have been friends forever, Sam. She's my best friend from childhood. It's just—kind of sudden is all. You know, with the focus on school and whatnot.”

“I think if we all lived in the same place, we'll be better with communication,” Sam suggested.

“I think so, too—because when we lived upstairs from each other, we talked all the time. Her living in the Bronx really threw a damper on that between us. But—I think with her being right across the hallway from my bedroom, we can rekindle things.”

Alex then strode over to them with a serious expression on his face. Sam thought about that mess left behind at the villa following Kirk's wedding and she realized that she hadn't spoken to him since then.

“Hey, Mr. Skolnick,” she greeted him.

“Samantha,” he said in a soft voice. He took off the yarmulke and set it down on the table before him: Sam spotted a little gray Star of David around his neck and a big black and silver stone ring on his right ring finger. Just sitting there alone on the other side of the table, she could feel his power. It was amazing how one young man could make such a statement with his silence.

“D'you get Frankie's note?” Belinda asked him with a snap of her fingers.

“I did, yes.”

“That was courtesy of me, actually,” she quipped in a rush.

“Well, Miss Grimes, I have to hand to you,” he said with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Whoa—” Frank's voice caught their attention right then, and the three of them turned their attention to him and his gaze fixed on the television. A bit of breaking news from the Middle East. Something happened in Iran, much to Alex's shock. He gaped at the sight before him, to which Sam and Belinda were taken aback by him.

“That's—dude, what the hell.”

“What?” Belinda asked him. “You're pissed about that?”

“I am—really pissed off about it,” he confessed with a stern look on his face. “Like—how could our own country do that? How could they all lie to us like that? Not just Reagan, but everyone else in particular?”

Sam and Belinda glanced at one another, both of them at a loss for words. The former never really paid much to the news, and she couldn't given she didn't even have a television at her place, but it was obviously something that Alex strongly felt about. He turned his attention back to the television with a disgusted look upon his round boyish face. Sam watched as his deep eyes locked onto the screen over them, and she thought about that one song that Testament recorded, “Over the Wall”. She thought back to the words written before her.

Of course. Alex kept his eye on everything and he wanted to be heard as a result of it. He fumed at the sight of the crawler and selling weapons to Iran, Sam wondered what was going through his mind right then.

“Letting it all go into the wrong hands?” Belinda followed along.

“And how,” he told her as he never took his eyes off of the screen.

“There's so much more they could be doing, and here at home, too.”

“And so soon after Chernobyl, no less,” he added in a low voice. He rubbed the tip of his nose and then he stood to his feet and made his way over to the counter for a red cup. Belinda glanced over at Sam once again, that time with an unimpressed look upon her face.

“What?” Sam asked her, and Belinda looked over at him by the counter again. All they could see was his long curled black hair as it cascaded down to the halfway point of his back. He may have covered that sliver upon the crown of his head, but he let his hair grow out as long as possible.

“He's so precocious,” Belinda finally whispered to her, to which Sam shrugged at that.

“So? What's wrong with that?”

“Don't you think it's kind of unsettling?”

Sam shook her head.

“No, I kinda like how he's got his finger on the pulse of the world.” Alex took his seat there again, and he kept his attention fixed on the television screen over them. Neither of the two girls could see his face except for the very tip of his nose.

“…but I can see how it gets annoying, though,” she continued in a whisper right into Belinda's ear, to which she nodded at that with her eyes large and annoyed. He then lowered his gaze to across the room but neither of them had any idea as to what he was looking at right then. Sam took yet another glimpse over at Belinda, and then she cleared her throat.

“I got Testament's letter, by the way,” she told him, and he turned his attention back towards her. That was one of a couple of times she had seen his face lighten up at anything.

“Oh, good! I had a feeling you did. Do you know if Marla did, too?”

“I dunno. I forgot she was part of the club, too.”

“Does she at least know about our tour this summer?”

“Yes, she does!”

He turned his head again and then Sam realized he was looking on at Aurora on the other side of the room. He raised a finger towards the two girls and then he strode away from there.

“Jesus,” Belinda whispered with a hand clasped to her chest.

“What?” Sam stifled a bout of laughter.

“He's intimidating!”

“Nah, he's just focused is all.”

The two of them sat there in silence for a moment as they watched Alex linger there at the counter with the red cup before him.

“By the way, what note?” Sam asked her.

“Huh?”

“You said Frankie gave him a note courtesy of you.”

“Oh, it was a thank you note 'cause he helped Charlie clean up his apartment after Marla moved out. That was just something I wrote to Frankie to give to him.”

“Oh, I see.” She then fetched up a sigh. “Yeah, I really have to move down to Hell's Kitchen. I'll be closer to my friends and I'll be more so in the know of things, too.”

“Oh, yeah, for sure. I kinda feel bad for not letting you know about certain things, Sam. You're one of our friends—you should know about us more.”

Aurora then strode up to Alex with an excited look on her face. He turned for a look at her. She told him something right then and he nodded his head in response to it. Sam looked over at Belinda again and she did, too, that time with a look of determination on her face; the former wondered what was going on over there when Alex doubled back to them with his deep set eyes bright as they had ever been up to that point.

“The Cherry Suicides are joining us,” he told her at a fast clip. “Aurora just told me.”

“Oh, Zelda's gonna be happy 'bout that.” She noticed his hands clasped to the lapels of his jacket. “Where you goin'?”

“She also told me to get my ass back up to Montana,” he replied, “apparently it's kinda important.”

He ran his fingers through his black hair once again and then he picked up his yarmulke and he doubled back towards the door. Frank bowed towards them with a small white box tucked under his arm.

“Pizza's comin' for you girls,” he promised them with a wink, “in like a couple of minutes. I gotta drive the little man back up to Montana.”

“Catch you later?” Sam asked him.

“Of course!” He blew them a kiss and he bowed out of there after Alex. Sam let out a low whistle right then.

“Anthrax and Testament and the Cherry Suicides all together?” Belinda echoed it.

“Yeah, that's, um... that's gonna be awkward. But holy hell, does that pizza smell good, though.”

#fanfic #fanfiction #anthrax fanfic #testament fanfic #heavy metal fanfic #anthrax #testament #testament band #chapter 5 #chapter five #frank bello #alex skolnick #oc tag #long reads #long time friends #also on ao3 #also on wattpad #writing #text #slow burn #fever in fever out #fever in fever out fanfic #book three #a skeleton in the closet

[purplesurveys]

990

survey by starsareonly2nd

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? No. Doesn’t sound like my type of city. I wouldn’t mind visiting the rest of Nevada though.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Just a cup of coffee; I skip breakfast except on Sundays, when we actually sit down at the dining table and eat as a family.

Do you have any loose change in your pocket? I don’t have any pockets right now but I do have very few coins in my wallet. I used to have plenty, but I’ve given most of them away because I usually give tips to the nice people who help me get out of parking spots.

Do you like Taylor Swift? I like some of her songs, especially the ones from 1989, but I have no idea why I just can’t get into her as a person.

What's your favorite Disney Channel movie? I haven’t tuned in to that channel for a very long time now, but the movies that I got the most excited about as a kid were Twitches, Wendy Wu, Camp Rock, The Cheetah Girls, and High School Musical 1 and 2.

If you met your favorite celebrity, would you be calm or star struck? I’d be starstruck in a calm way; like I’d most likely be too shocked to get more than a few words out. I’m sure I’d come off as shy or boring haha, which is why I’ve refused to meet or interact with my favorite celebrities even if I’ve already had the chance to.

Are there any lights on in the room you're in? I have a ceiling light and a desk lamp, but both are turned off. My only light source at the moment is my laptop screen.

What's your favorite subject in school? History.

What's your favorite holiday? My birthday, if that counts. Christmas can also be great but only for the food, the reunions with extended family, and the freedom to guiltlessly cut off contact with colleagues for a couple of weeks. All other aspects of it make me miserable though.

Do you ever have to do yard work? I’ve never had to do that before.

Is your school close to your house? I mean, it wasn’t a 10-minute walk away but it’s relatively close and driving to my university objectively doesn’t take too long unless there’s heavy traffic. If there’s absolutely no barriers I could get to school in 15-20 minutes, but this is really only just for weekends where I have to go to school for some reason. If there’s traffic (and there always is), I take anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half.

Speaking of school, how did you get there today? I haven’t been to my school since the first week of March, and I’ve already graduated since then.

Do you think Bad Romance is a catchy song, or an annoying one? I can honestly tell you that I have genuinely never gotten sick of that song. It’s a late 2000s classic, man. Of course it was too explicit for my 11 year old ears when it first came out, but I found it catchy nonetheless.

Do you use perfect grammar online? I always try to be correct, yes. When I use improper grammar it’s usually because I’m joking.

Are you currently using a laptop? Yup.

Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? I haven’t used iTunes in a while and Spotify, which I do use, doesn’t work that way.

Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? I’ve never skipped her singles whenever I caught them on the radio and I’ve always fairly enjoyed the music she puts out, but I normally don’t voluntarily listen to her i.e. look up her songs myself on Spotify.

Is it a windy day? It is now that it’s nighttime, but it was a little humid all day today.

In the past week, have you ridden in a taxi? No. I’m not actually sure if that’s even already allowed...the possibility of public transport is still pretty murky where I live.

What shorthand do you use the most? I have no idea what this means. I did try looking it up but I dunno if I’ve ever had to use shorthand at any point in my life.

Do you ever wish on stars at night? Every now and then, but it’s just the little kid in me.

What color are your eyes? Dark brown. I feel like I answer this at least once a week.

What album is the current song you're listening to off of? Not listening to music but the last song I heard is from an album called Petals For Armor.

What are you doing after you finish this? Try not to cry/break down. Find something to watch on YouTube. Maybe play with Cooper to destress and forget about my problems for a bit.

In your opinion, what song is the most overplayed right now? Other than songs I occasionally put on repeat, I have not heard any new music for a while now.

Are you in a band? Nope, never been.

How clean is your bedroom? We just tidied it up and rearranged a few things last month so I’d say it’s clean - at least tidier than it used to be. And I’m a little proud that despite how rough life has been, I’ve managed to keep it clean. It’s the little things.

Is there a pen within reaching distance of you? Yeah, there’s one on my desk and I can easily reach out and grab it.

Are you sitting at a desk? I’ve moved to my bed for now. My back does not appreciate sitting at a desk all day.

Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Female.

Do you normally shut your bedroom door before you go to sleep? Yesssssssss. We have a light source by the stairs that extends to the hallway and reaches my room, so it gets super annoying if my door is even just slightly ajar because my eyes get distracted by the faint light. My door has to be completely shut for me to feel comfortable in the privacy of my room.

Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? I haven’t. I loooove Lady Marmalade, but I’m just not sure if the movie itself is my cup of tea.

Would you ever dye your hair a different color? I’d love to have the chance to do that, yeah.

Are there any framed pictures in the room you're in? There are a couple.

Have you ever been to a Broadway show? Nope.

Do you watch So You Think You Can Dance? I don’t think so but I do remember watching a few episodes of Dancing with the Stars because a wrestler that I liked was one of the contestants for one season. I’m just not sure of SYTYCD also featured wrestlers in their shows; if that has been the case in the past- and I’m just not sure because my memory is a little hazy - I would’ve given it a watch.

What's your favorite movie soundtrack? The Twilight Saga churned out some bomb ass soundtracks. Other than that, I also enjoyed Interstellar’s and Requiem for a Dream’s.

Do you prefer group or individual work? Depends on what kind of work needs to be done. If a task is graphic design or video editing-heavy, I would prefer to work with other people; but if it’s gonna be heavy on something that’s already my forte, I like to work by myself.

Do you have a key to anything besides your house? Just my car.

Are you wearing anything with stripes? Not at the moment.

What time did you go to sleep last night? 9:45 I think? A little later than 10? Somewhere along that range.

Did anyone tell you you were beautiful today? No.

What show did you last watch? Friends.

Do you think you'll do anymore surveys today? I doubt it. This one is already quite longer than the surveys I usually take.

What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Cookies and cream; and more recently, chocolate chip cookie dough.

When was the last time you stayed home from school sick? Sometime in February last year. I developed a fever the night before but wasn’t able to start feeling better by the next morning, so I had to skip the one class I had that day.

Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? Yes. I’m actually planning to buy a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle; it’s one of the items I’ve put on my cart recently. Depressed Robyn is also spend-a-lot-of-money-on-artsy-craftsy-supplies-Robyn, so.

If you could run a red light and not get caught, would you? Hell no.

Do you like to listen to music as you do your homework? Not usually, but sometimes I’ll put on lo-fi since that’s the only kind of music I can listen to and still keep my focus.

Did you think Adam Lambert's AMA performance was really that controversial? I’ve never encountered it, but I doubt I’ll have a problem with it if I do get to watch the performance. I love Adam Lambert and I've never found myself shaking my head at whatever he’s doing.

Do any bands flat-out annoy you? They’re a boy band more than anything but The Vamps has consistently irritated me through the years.

Do you have a mirror in your bedroom? No. I used to, but I gave it to my sister.

Was today a birthday for any of your friends? I don’t think so. With all my social media being deactivated I never get notified about birthdays anymore, but I’m fairly sure none of my friends blow out their candles every October 22nd.

When was the last time you rode in a limo? I’ve never been in one.

Do you take naps daily? No. I can’t really do that anymore since I have an 8-hour shift on weekdays, lol.

Do you still make Christmas lists? No.

Do you watch the show Dexter? I tried getting into the show because it used to always be said in the same breath as Breaking Bad, but I never got invested. I heard later seasons sucked too, so that also turned me off from continuing to pursue the series.

What's the background on your phone? I have a motivational comic that says “You’re doing really well given the circumstances” as my lockscreen. Cooper smiling is my home screen.

When were/will you be a a sophomore in high school? That was six years ago.

Are you scared of any animals? Any flying insect or bug, and I find them scarier if they come with a loud buzz.

Have you ever been to any sort of convention? YouTube Fanfest, if that counts as one. I’m not really sure what counts as a convention haha, but that’s the closest thing I’ve got.

Which song did you last listen to on repeat? Why We Ever by Hayley Williams.

Where do you want to live when you grow up? I’ve stopped thinking about that for now. My focus has since shifted to asking myself if I’ll still even be alive in a few years...ugh, how far we’ve fallen.

Are you currently using a blanket? No. It’s not cold enough for a blanket yet, but maybe in a few hours.

Are there any songs that make you cry? A lot.

How many siblings do you have? Two.

What are you doing this weekend? I have no idea.

Do you prefer swimming at the beach or in a pool? BEEEEEEEEACH. Once I took my first dip in a beach, I never wanted to swim in a pool ever again.

When was the last time you had a haircut? March.

Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? Piano, saxophone, and violin. Can’t pick a favorite; I think they all sound beautiful.

Are you in band or chorus at your school? I was never in either.

Do you know what you want for Christmas? Yeah but they’re all intangible. I want to be happy, be at peace, normalcy, etc. I’ve stopped pining for presents, especially now that I can afford my own shit.

Do you watch fireworks on New Year's Eve? Always.

Is your birthday within the next three months? Nope. You’ll have to add three more months to that timeframe.

How long is the song you're listening to? No music.

Are you anticipating anything this week? I’m waiting for a couple of very specific emails to come in, and I hope they do before the week ends.

Is your mom or dad the older parent? My dad, but only by 8 months. They were born in the same year.

Have you taken the SATs yet? I never had to take them, but I heard they’re triiiiiiiicky.

Do you watch anything on E? We never had E! in our cable service but I like tuning into that channel whenever we stay at hotels because I get to watch KUWTK, hehe.

Are you going to get off the computer now that you've finished this? Most likely.

#survey #surveys

[script-a-world]

Pylon Bios (An Update, with New Pylons)

Hello, lovely followers of script-a-world!

Please allow us to introduce ourselves! We haven’t had any sort of about-the-bloggers page available before, and now that we’ve added more to the team, we’re seeking to remedy that!

First of all, we call ourselves Pylons. What the heck is a pylon? Well, outside of this blog, it’s an upright structure for holding up something, usually a cable or conduit. When this blog was started more than a year ago (whoa), the group chose the word Pylon to describe ourselves collectively, as a fun little nickname. Whee!

Without further ado, meet the Pylons (and Mods)! (in alphabetical order)

Brainstormed: Hey there, call me Brainstormed, and you can find me at @thunderin-brainstorm. Any pronouns will do. I'm a student, illustrator, and world traveler. My home is in America, but I'm rarely there for more than a month at a time, so feel free to ask where in the world I happen to be! Worldbuilding has been my hobby for quite a long time and I'd love to give you some tips and tricks that I've learned, or take your idea and turn it on its head to perhaps show you a new perspective. The many projects I've developed have been lifesavers for me, as they allowed me to harness my Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder and use it as a positive tool for creativity. Aside from drawing and daydreaming, I spend a lot of time biking, hunting for cool rocks and bones, binge reading any scholarly article that catches my eye, and memorising completely useless random facts that I spout at any given moment in lieu of remembering actual important information.

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Constablewrites: My name is Brittany, and I'm a California girl living in the Midwest. I use she/her pronouns. I've always loved stories with rich and detailed worlds, whether in movies, books, games, or something else entirely. I'm the kind of writer who will spend hours researching to confirm a minor detail. Naturally, I not only write SFF, but my recent projects have all required worldbuilding on more than one axis (like multiple types of magic, or time travel on top of historical) because i am apparently something of a masochist. I'm a walking TV Tropes index and a whiz at digging up random useful knowledge, both of which come in handy as a Pylon. Other random facts: I'm a trained actress and singer, I used to work at Disneyland on the Jungle Cruise (among other attractions), and a laptop held together with duct tape is responsible for my day job in tech support. I blog about writing as @constablewrites and about random things that amuse me as @operahousebookworm.

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Delta: Hi! I’m Delta and I can be found @dreaming-in-circles or @thedeclineofapollo (writeblr), and I love sci-fi. Like, a lot lol. I work in NEPA compliance for a civil engineering firm in the USA, and have a lot of experience with infrastructure, bureaucracies, biology, and space (for unrelated reasons). I spend a lot of time haunting the astrophysics wikipedia pages, and my current all-consuming project is a novel that is angling to be about 150,000 words (at current projections). Can’t wait to hear your questions!

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Ebonwing: Hi, I’m Ebonwing. I’m currently studying IT in university. I’m a writer and worldbuilder, and sometimes a worldbuilding writer or a writing worldbuilder. I gravitate towards fantasy, though I’m not going to say no to the occasional stint in scifi, and as I’m also a giant language nerd, I enjoy making conlangs for my creations. Other than that, I’m also an artist and indulge in any number of other crafting hobbies, and if I’m not doing any of those things, I can probably be found playing video games.

___

Feral: Hi! I'm Feral, and you can find me @theferalcollection (if you enjoy feminism, socialism, or over-analyzed fiction) or on my writing blog theferalcollection.wordpress.com. I'm a Southern girl who likes fancy dresses, mint juleps, big hats, and using being-underestimated to my advantage. I work in the interior design industry and am currently in school for industrial design. I have previously earned degrees in comparative literature and theatre & drama. I'm a big nerd who really likes school. I've been world-building since before I knew it was a thing and writing almost as long. I’ve written mostly fantasy but the past couple projects have been science fiction. I'm ridiculously in love with the idea of being an astrophysicist but don't feel like learning calculus, so I just read about science a lot. My hobbies include martial arts, drinking too much coffee, and tabletop games.

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Lockea: Hello! I’m Lockea. You can find me all over the internet as @lockea or LockeaStone. I’m a leaf on the wind who currently enjoys the SoCal sunshine in Los Angeles where I work as an engineer and data scientist. I love street fashion (especially Lolita) and making jewelry. I have two kitties, Theodore and Cecelia, and I volunteer at the local animal shelter as a cat handler and adoption counselor. I know way too much about cat behavior, honestly, and will yap your ear off if you let me.

Worldbuilding wise, I have a deep affection for science fiction and I’ve consulted professional science fiction writers on developing technology and worlds through the explanation of science and engineering. My engineering specialization is extra-terrestrial  robotics, so if it has to do with space, planetary science, or robotics -- I got you. I’m also a fan of politics and really like developing political and socio-economic systems in fantasy and sci-fi worlds.

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Miri: Miri here, with my main tumblr @asylos and my writing tumblr @mirintala. I am a Canadian Pharmacy Technician by day and a small time ePublisher and gamer of many types by night. Mostly wandering around the Internet helping to organize events in the FFVII tumblr fandom (modding at @ff7central and @ffviifandomcalendar), and stumbling around within the Borderlands of Pandora. I use she/her pronouns.

—-

Symphony: Hey, I’m Symphony! Use whatever pronouns you feel like, any work. I’m currently living in Michigan with my fiance, and in-between jobs but I want to go to nursing school ASAP.  My favorite genres in fiction are horror, sci-fi, and really anything that holds my interest. In my own worldbuilding I've always felt myself most interested in developing societies on the macro level (politics, diet, customs, stuff like that), and the more esoteric, strange parts of my world. I like to make a place feel lived in, with secrets that may never be found and people who seek them out.

——

Synth: I’m @chameleonsynthesis on Tumblr, but that’s a mouthful, so just call me Synth. Any pronouns work. Born and raised in Canada, but living in Norway as of autumn 2007. Looking back, I’ve been worldbuilding since at least the age of four (in my early thirties now, so yeah), with a predominantly science-fantasy bent. I’m of the artsy creative type, with way too many projects on the go at any given time, and enjoy long walks through Wikipedia and getting caught in TV Tropes. The best thing is when I stumble across some strange factoid that can justify aspects of my many weird alien species. Stupid Synth facts: I have dual Canadian and Norwegian citizenship. My legal name contains a letter that does not exist in the English alphabet. I can curl my tongue into a cloverleaf shape, and wiggle my ears. My day job is musical instrument repair. I play French horn in a concert band, trombone in a jazz band, and don’t practice my flute or piccolo near as much as I should. Outside of band rehearsals and my job, I volunteer at the local cat shelter, work out at a gym, and attend events at my city’s newly established makerspace.

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Tex: I'm Tex, and you can find me on tumblr @texasdreamer01. Most of my hobbies are centered around fandom and worldbuilding for it, though I also like cooking and reading up on fiction and non-fiction whenever I have the time. I'm currently studying biochemical engineering, with a slant in nanotechnology and its medical applications, so I need to know a bunch about the different types of sciences, as well as projecting for the development of future fields.

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Utuabzu: Hi, I’m Utuabzu, I previously was part of ScriptMyth (RIP) where I tended to take the lead on Mesopotamia and Egypt related asks. I’m most of the way through a Bachelor of Linguistics, e parlo italiano und ein bisschen Deutsch. I have a deep and enduring interest in the history of the ancient world, particularly the ancient Near East, and I’m also a bit of a nerd for politics, which is helpful when it comes to worldbuilding. My random 2am research binges have resulted in my knowing a lot of odd things. I enjoy travelling and experiencing other cultures, however as I am Australian this unfortunately requires flying, which I hate a great deal. I expect to one day be crushed beneath a pile of my books. It is a demise I am ok with.

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Wootzel: Hi, I’m Wootzel, or @wootzel-dragon! I use she/her pronouns. I’m a recent college grad trying to figure life out. My favorite thing about worldbuilding is making things as realistic or pseudo-realistic as possible, and finding a justification for everything. Sometimes, this is also my least favorite thing about myself, because it can make things very hard! But, it can also be really rewarding when I get things to work out in a way that I enjoy.

My other hobbies include reading lots of fanfic while neglecting physical books, starting ambitious sewing projects on a whim, and wondering where all my time goes on a daily basis. I have changed major a few times, and I am still unsure about what I want to do with my life, except that it’ll always have writing in it somewhere.

#pylon bios

[etherealwaifgoddess]

A Good Night’s Sleep, Pt.1

Main Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky has been plagued with nightmares since he left HYDRA and the Avengers all have been trying to help him overcome them. Bucky meets you by chance on a coffee run and finds that the solution he was avoiding might be exactly what he needs.

Warnings/ Content: brief mention of PTSD

Word Count: 3.6k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! So this little 3 part series came from an idea that @marinaaniseed had a few weeks ago. I absolutely couldn’t get the idea out of my head and so, while I should have been working on my many WIPs, this little fic was born. Parts two and three are going up immediately after this, it’s all done and I don’t feel like dragging it out. Hope you all enjoy it as much as I have. Especially you @marinaaniseed, thank you so much for the idea!!! XOXO- Ash

A Good Night’s Sleep, Part One

“Come on, Buck.” Steve calls out while banging on Bucky’s door, “You gotta wake up, pal.”

Bucky wakes with a jolt, his body rigid and his throat sore from screaming. He’s panting hard, trying to adjust to the world around him. He pulls himself out of bed on shaky legs, wobbling down the hall to open the door right as Steve goes to knock again. “Sorry. Again.” he rasps. 

“Want to come get a cup of tea with me?” Steve offers with sympathetic eyes.

“Nah, I’m gonna grab a shower. Go back to sleep, Stevie.” 

“You know you can talk to me about it if you want to.” 

“I know. I’ll be okay.” Bucky insists, closing the door to end the discussion. 

Under the burning hot spray of the shower Bucky lets himself breakdown. 

After Wakanda Steve had convinced Tony to let him live at the tower with the rest of the team and everyone had been leery of the former assassin joining their ranks. As they slowly came to know him though, he became a welcome addition to their little family of Avengers. The only issue was the nightmares that woke not only Bucky, but everyone else on their floor. Bucky hadn’t slept through the night since he escaped HYDRA, plagued with visions of the destruction he’d wrought as the Winter Soldier. It was an endless stream of death and terror every night when he closed his eyes. When he was on his own in Romania he’d accepted it as his penance for what he’d done. After Shuri and her team pulled him out of Cryo in Wakanda he hadn’t been hopeful the nightmares were gone along with the trigger words. And he had been right - they persisted. 

Bucky warned Steve when he invited him to live at the tower with the team. He told him he had nightmares and was prone to have low days where he just needed solitude to work through his own mind. Steve had promised he’d have his own living quarters and the team would understand. They all had their demons, afterall. The team was very understanding the first days but after that the concerned glances turned to long, worried looks and the team started speaking up.

Bruce had been the first to speak up, suggesting therapy to help him work through what was causing his nightmares. Bucky went and as much as he liked his therapist, nothing they tried stopped the nightmares. Even the meds blew through his system too fast to be of any use. She did give him some good tips for managing his PTSD and depression during the day though, so Bucky considered it a win and still went to see her once a week. 

Nat gave him a spicy Russian tea she swore would knock him out enough that no dreams would come. Nat was wrong, all Bucky got out of the tea was heartburn. She grumbled something under her breath in Russian that sounded a lot like “cursed’ the next morning over breakfast. 

Steve took him for a long run before bed one night, thinking the endorphin high and exhaustion would help Bucky sleep soundly. It helped Steve sometimes with his own dreams of war. It didn’t help with the nightmares, it only made him more exhausted the next day after getting little sleep. 

Tony offered to get him drunk but it would take entirely too much alcohol to overcome the serum in his veins so he declined the offer. 

Wanda suggested she try popping in his mind while he was having a nightmare to see if she could reshape it and try to correct whatever in his mind was causing him to have the dreams. Bucky threw up at the idea of someone meddling in his mind again.

The care and suggestions from the team were sweet, and Bucky knows they have the best intentions at heart, but it’s all still a little overwhelming. Bucky wants to stop having nightmares, he would do anything to sleep for more than three or four hours a night. A small part of him still thinks it’s punishment from some higher power for everything he’s done, but rationally he understands it’s just his PTSD. 

After his shower, Bucky trudges out to the team kitchen for coffee. If he isn’t going to sleep he might as well start on his caffeine routine. Sam is already in the kitchen whipping up a smoothie for himself while Natasha stares at him over a cup of tea, the human embodiment of heart eyes on her face. 

“Mornin’.” he rumbles as he crosses the kitchen, rummaging for his favorite cup in the dishwasher. 

“Another bad one, huh.” Nat asks, but it really isn’t a question.

“Yeah, sorry.” 

“You’ve got to figure these out, James.” 

“I know it.” 

“I know what you need.” Sam interjects causing both Bucky and Nat to whip around to stare at him. Sam just shrugs, “You need to get laid, man.” 

Bucky chokes on his coffee. “What?” 

“You. Need. To. Get. Laid.” Sam repeats slowly. “Seriously, man. Find yourself a nice girl, or a guy, and get some. You’ll be all happy and cosy and you’ll nod right off. No nightmares if you’re wrapped up in the arms of a good woman, or man.” 

Bucky shakes his head, the last thing he needs is to terrorize some poor person trying to spend the night.

“It’s not a bad idea.” Nat agrees.

“Not happening.” Bucky says with a warning tone. He fills his cup and retreats to his bedroom, unwilling to continue the conversation. Adding another person to his mess of a life is not the solution. 

Sam’s suggestion spreads through the team like wildfire. Everyone seems to have a friend they could set him up with. Tony even hacks into his smartphone and adds apps for Tinder, Grindr, and Match.com. Bucky deletes them quickly before chewing Tony out about privacy rights. It becomes a bit of a running joke within the group and Bucky is less than thrilled about it. Bucky hasn’t had a date since 1941 and he isn’t sure how to navigate dating in the 21st century. He knows the times have changed, people are more free with their sexualities and casual relationships are normal instead of taboo. Eventually, he thinks, eventually he’ll get back out there. But certainly not just for the sake of random sex. 

Bucky has another particularly rough night. One where he doesn’t dare sleep because the second his eyes close the images start up like a motion picture. He’d spends the night alternating between pacing and reading, trying to not be disruptive while everyone else sleeps. Sam and Steve get up for their run just before dawn and find him pacing in the common room. 

“Did you sleep at all?” Steve asks him.

“I will later. Probably.” Bucky grumbles. 

Sam shakes his head, “Let’s go get coffee. You look like hell.”

Bucky can’t argue with that and instead goes to grab his shoes with a nod.

The city is bustling despite the early hour and the line at their favorite coffee shop is almost to the door. It’s worth the wait though and Bucky likes the thrumming energy of the shop, the blur of muted sounds around him oddly comforting. The woman in front of them is fidgeting with her leather bag, it must have something heavy in it the way she keeps adjusting the strap on her shoulder. Bucky tries not to let his gaze linger too long but the way her long hair falls in soft waves all the way down to the small of her back is distracting. The even softer looking rounded curves of her body are even more distracting, he admits to himself. She reminds him of the women in Renaissance paintings, when lush curves were still revered, before these modern stick thin bodies became the ideal. Bucky wishes the Winter Soldier could go back and pay a visit to whoever started the “thigh gap” craze. 

The woman adjusts the leather strap again and a small white card flutters out onto the floor behind her. Bucky reaches down to pick it up, noticing the card has business information on it. Sam and Steve are chatting and distracted when Bucky taps the woman on the shoulder, “I think you dropped your business card.” he says hesitantly. 

You’re cursing yourself for lugging everything along with you in your enormous bag when you feel a tap on your shoulder followed by a warm masculine voice. You absolutely do not have business cards, you’re a freelance writer and market yourself entirely online. It has to be another pick up line, probably from some smarmy Wall Street asshole who wants to slum it with an artsy girl for a change. You’ve been burned by that type enough times and won’t let yourself do it again, no matter how long it’s been since you’ve had a date. “Does that line work a lot for you?” you reply, turning around with an unamused expression. 

Bucky’s face falls, upset he’s offended you when all he was trying to do was return what you’d dropped. “I wasn’t. I don’t. You. Um, you dropped this. It fell out of your bag.” Bucky fumbles for words, blushing brightly and drawing the attention of Sam and Steve who wear twin smirks of amusement watching him flounder. 

Your irritation dissipates when you see the gorgeous, stuttering man in front of you. He’s tall, though not quite as tall as his companions, his dark hair falls around his shoulders in a way that is either true bedhead or carefully crafted styling to mimic it. His grey blue eyes are wide and honest, clearly not some smarmy pick up artist like you’d assumed. He’s wearing a black hoodie and dark grey sweatpants so it’s unlikely he was the business card type either. You force yourself to stop ogling the poor man and look at the tiny card in his outstretched hand. Recognizing it immediately, you realize you’re the asshole in this scenario. “Shit, that is mine.” you curse, “I’m so sorry. I don’t usually have business cards but my friend gave me this one yesterday for a new bakery that went in over on 2nd Avenue.” 

Bucky looks at the card for a second before you take it from him. “So you’re not Beth Yardley?” 

You raise an eyebrow at him, wondering if that’s now a ploy to get your name. You really need to be less suspicious but after living in the city for five years you’ve become jaded. He’s cute though. “Nope, Y/N. Nice to meet you…?”

“Bucky.” he offers quickly.

The name doesn’t ring a bell, but he looks familiar for some reason. “Nice you meet you, Bucky. Thanks for saving that card for me. I’m dying to try these cinnamon buns my friend keeps raving about.”

Bucky is smiling again, hoping his face doesn’t betray how eager he is to keep the conversation going. He wasn’t trying to hit on you a few minutes ago but now that he’s seen your face and heard your voice, he sure as hell is. “I love cinnamon buns.” 

You stifle your laugh at the way his cheeks burn bright pink after his admission. He has to be flirting at this point. And he really is cute. Damnit. “We should go try them, then.” you decide, giving him a chance to make a move. 

Bucky feels like he’s swallowed his tongue, “As in, together?” 

“Yeah, sorry if I wasn’t clear. This is me hitting on you now.” you smirk at him as his blush spreads.

Sam is leaning on Steve as they fight for composure, trying not to erupt in laughter and ruin their friends moment. Bucky glares at their backs for a moment before realizing he still hasn’t answered, “Yeah. Yes. Let’s do that.” 

Getting a better look at his companions you realize why he looks so familiar. Of all the people to meet in a coffee shop, you muse. You’re still interested though. “Are you free after this? I was going to get my coffee to go and then head straight there for breakfast.” 

“I’m free. These idiots can find their own way home.” 

“Great. Now, the deciding factor is: icing or no icing? Think hard Bucky, there are two camps of people and if you fall into the wrong one I’ll be forced to shame you for all eternity.” 

Bucky’s eyes widen, worried he’s going to mess up two seconds into what could potentially be a date. “Icing?” he tries.

“Right answer!” you announce him happily. Then, in a conspiratorial tone, you whisper, “It wasn’t really a deal breaker but it’s good to know you’re not some sugar hating monster.” 

Bucky’s grin widens, “No, I have a serious sweet tooth.”

“We’re gonna get along just fine.” you assure him. 

After you order your coffee, quad shot latte with whole milk don’t judge me, and Bucky orders his, the biggest white mocha frapp you have please, you swipe your card before he has a chance to get his wallet out. Bucky balks at you paying but you tell him he can get it next time with a flirty smile that has his brain shutting off, unable to continue complaining. 

Steve and Sam give Bucky small waves and thumbs up, not interfering when Bucky leaves with you. “Your friends seem nice.” you say kindly as you step out onto the busy city sidewalk.

“They’re the best.” Bucky agrees with a nod. 

You make idle chit chat on your way to the bakery, keeping the topics light and superficial. Bucky tells you he grew up in Brooklyn, moved away for a bit, and recently moved to Manhattan with his friends. He seems hesitant as he explains it and you realize he’s trying to not be obvious about who he is. Like you couldn’t have already guessed.

You snort a laugh into your latte. “So what was Brooklyn like in the 30s?” you ask bluntly.

Bucky’s eyes practically bug out of his head, “How did you...?” 

You give him a half smile and shrug, “The hand is a good clue, plus your face was everywhere for a while. It doesn’t help that your best friends are Captain America and the Falcon.” 

Cringing, Bucky figures this will be the end of his almost date. “We don’t have to go get breakfast. I’ll understand if you don’t want to be seen with me.” 

You stop in the middle of the sidewalk, shocked by his response. “Whoa, hold on. I knew who you were before I asked you to join me. I don’t care what other people think about you or your past. You seem like a nice guy and I want to get to know you. The real you.” 

Bucky takes a moment to process your words, finding it hard to believe someone is willing to look beyond his past. He can't find a shred of deceit in your expression though, so he answers your question. “Well, there were less cars and it smelled worse if you can believe it.” 

You huff out a laugh, resuming your walk to the bakery. “I can’t. Tell me more.” 

Bucky tells you stories of the Brooklyn of his youth as you make your way across town. You aren’t in a hurry and Bucky is happy to spend extra time out in the warm sun with a beautiful woman. 

The bakery is a little glass fronted shop sandwiched between two larger brick buildings. You would have walked right past it if you hadn’t been looking for it. Bucky opens the door for you and you smirk, amused by the old fashioned gesture. The scent of vanilla and caramelized sugar hit you the second you’re inside. “Oh my god.” you groan the amazing smell. 

Bucky’s steps falter at the sound you made, trying desperately not to let his mind go where it was headed. “This place smells amazing.” he says, inhaling deeply.

“It had better taste as good as it smells or I’ll riot.” you joke. 

The line is short and before you know it, Bucky is ordering two iced cinnamon buns plus an assortment of other pastries he picks at random out of the display case. 

“Are we feeding an army?” you question as the tray piles higher and higher with plates of baked goods.

“Sorry,” he blushes, handing over his card to the waiting cashier, “Um, my metabolism is pretty high and I have to keep up with it or I get cranky.” 

“Ah, okay. No hangry super soldiers on my watch.” 

Bucky chuckles and nods. 

There’s a sunny spot in the window of the bakery with an unoccupied cafe table, Bucky motions towards it and it’s your turn to nod, following him over to it. The tray takes up most of the table and you perch your coffees on your respective sides, eager to dig into the spread in front of you. You go for the cinnamon bun first, knowing one of them is yours and not wanting to presume you’ll be trying any of the other treats. 

The taste of caramelized sugar and cinnamon explode on your tongue, eliciting yet another moan that makes Bucky fidget in his seat. “Okay, that’s it. I can die happy now.” you announce dramatically. 

Bucky takes a swipe of the icing off the top of his cinnamon bun and his eyes widen slightly. “Oh wow.” he lifts the entire bun up to take a large bite and closes his eyes happily as he chews. “This is incredible.” he says once he’s swallowed, quickly taking another large bite. His cheeks puff out adorably and you grin around your own bite of cinnamon bun. 

“I can’t believe you just bite it like that.” you tease. 

“Well, what else am I supposed to do with it?” 

You demonstrate the way you’ve been peeling yours apart from the outside in, “You uncoil it, like a normal human being.” 

“Takes too long.” Bucky scoffs, “My way is faster.” 

“But then it’s gone. My way you can enjoy it more.” 

“Pfft. I enjoy it plenty, and I would have time for two of them while you eat just one.” 

“Not all of us have super soldier metabolisms, one bun is enough.” 

Bucky looks at the four other plates on the tray and shakes his head, “Then I guess it’s good to be me.” 

You laugh at his antics as he takes another big bite, smiling while his cheeks chipmunk out again. The look you’re giving him almost makes him swallow wrong. He knows this look, he remembers it from the dance hall girls in the 30s. Attraction. Desire. You’re flirting with him in your own, unique, modern way. And Bucky is shocked to realize he’s been flirting back. He didn’t intend to get back out there so soon but here he is, enjoying breakfast with a beautiful woman. He wonders if you’re the type who would appreciate being asked out on a date, or if you’d rather exchange numbers and call him up when the mood strikes. A booty call, Sam had called it. Bucky still doesn’t get how there’s such a big difference between a booty call and a butt dial but thankfully Sam had corrected him when he got the reference wrong. 

Bucky finishes his cinnamon bun and starts in on a vanilla bean scone, enjoying the way the light glaze crackles as it gives way to the soft, buttery dough. You’re still enjoying your bun, about half way through, so Bucky tears the other pointed corner of the scone off and deposits it on your plate. “It’s really good.” he insists, not wanting you to miss out.

You glance from the bite of scone up to Bucky who’s looking at you hesitantly like he’s waiting to see if he’s done something right or wrong. You pop the bite of scone into your mouth, chewing slowly before nodding, “Yeah it is. Thanks.” 

Bucky practically beams. Maybe he can figure out 21st century flirting. He’s not sure if flirting via baked goods is a thing or not, but it absolutely should be. Bucky methodically works through all of the plates on the tray, offering you bits of each different item. You snag two bites of the cream puff but decline when he offers to buy you your own. The conversation shifts to the best meals you’ve had in the city. Food is an easy common ground for you both. You explain to Bucky that the small town you grew up in was pretty limited restaurant-wise and you’ve tried a lot of different places since moving to the city. You’re great in the kitchen but some days, after spending hours alone working at home, you like to get out and around other people for a while. 

“There’s an Italian place, Sapori, near the tower you would love.” Bucky tells you, “I don’t know what the big deal about the place is but Stark always gets reservations when we’re celebrating something. They make everything from scratch and it’s damn good. There’s these little pillowy pasta things. Starts with a g but you don’t pronounce it. I don’t know, but they’re amazing.”

“Gnocchi,” you say, stifling a laugh. 

“Yeah! Those. Best meal I’ve had in the city by far.” 

“That’s only because you haven’t had the food at Xián Tián.” 

“Well, you should let me take you to Sapori and then you’ll understand.” 

“Did you just ask me out?” you raise your eyebrows at him in surprise.

Bucky blushes and nods, suddenly feeling more shy. “Yeah. I did. This is me hitting on you now.” he says, paroting your words from earlier. 

“Well done, Barnes. When are we going?” 

Read part two HERE!

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes feels #nightmares #PTSD #original female character #reader insert #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fandom #meet cute

[jasonpng]

[ jeon jungkook. / male. / he/his. ] i heard han jaesung is going into business with their friends, but the twenty-five year old can’t go wrong with nine other people helping, right? they’re a former sous chef, but will be a chef at joliet bed & breakfast! their insensitive yet dependable personality is pretty fitting for that, i guess. the sight of them gives me the vibe of midnight drive-ins, humming to yourself as you work, a breeze ruffling through a clothesline and that one clip of a deflated dancing pikachu getting hauled off stage, and seeing that running across the sand is pretty sweet.

fabric softener, that one clip of a deflating dancing pikachu getting hauled off-stage, curling up in freshly warmed sheets, sizzling plates, the slow drag of a bow over a violin, bus rides with your head leaned against the window, earphones at full blast, midnight drive-ins, humming to yourself as you work, singing when you think you're alone, the beach at sunrise, a breeze ruffling through a clothesline

hi i’m miki and i’m excited 2 b here!!! this is m’boy jason (or jae, or jaesung) and he’s fairly new SO!!!! smash that like and i’ll come to u for plotting!

the stats

full name: jaesung “jason” han nicknames: jae, jayjay, jason, son, han solo age: 25 birthday: december 12 languages: english, korean, minimal japanese education: institute of culinary education graduate occupation: chef at joliet bed and breakfast, part-time food blogger hobbies: violin, eating, sleeping, collecting rock records, sketching mbti: entp blood type: b+ zodiac: sagittarius hogwarts house: gryffindor alignment: chaotic ANNOYING! sexuality: bisexual drinking, smoking, drugs: yes, yes, only marijuana faceclaim: jeon jungkook likes: rock music, classical music, herbal tea, garlic bread, any food in general, freshly washed sheets, dogs, astronomy, raccoons, coin laundries, anything vintage, horror films and documentaries, fiction books, wildlife, his motorcycle anubis (a super sexy harley davidson…he’s got that bad boy aesthetic going on but he is FAR from being one), his lil hamster bonnie dislikes: birds, horror films, anything scary, bitchy customers, stale coffee, fizzy drinks, people who are rude to service staff, cats (the film), spiders, korea’s educational system, the loch ness monster, soy milk

the biography

—o1. jason grew up in a modern korean household in maryland; his parents are more open-minded than the traditional korean family, so there’s really no dramatic backstory to write. he’s the eldest of three siblings, and they’re pretty much a tight-knit family. while he was encompassed by a totally western environment, his family never failed to remind them of their roots; they would travel to korea every summer to visit his grandparents in seoul.

—o2.  as a child, jason’s favourite past-time was watching his parents cook. his father is a renowned celebrity chef of a five-star restaurant in la, and his mother was the owner of a quaint bakery in ocean city. soon enough, his father was teaching him the basics of cooking. he was a natural, and by high school, he was on his way into becoming a chef like his father. the path to his dream career had been an easy one; his parents were well-known, and through family connections, jason earned himself a spot in one of the best culinary schools in the world: the institute of culinary education.  

—o3. wherever jason went, he was overshadowed by the family name. he loved his parents, he really did, but being the son of joowon han came with a privilege, of sorts. a privilege that he hated. people were convinced that jason only managed to get in ICE was because of his family background. he’d often hear whispers from peers; he was often criticised for depending on his parents—which was true, in a sense. jason didn’t have to worry about anything. while his fellow classmates were worrying over their career paths, he had a sous chef position waiting for him at his father’s restaurant right after graduation.

—o4. being the youngest sous chef in a five-star restaurant was difficult. twenty-one year olds weren’t taken seriously in the kitchen. especially not the head chef’s son, who was fresh out of culinary school and looked so out of place, with his dark leather jacket and ripped jeans. jason struggled the first few months; while  the people were cordial around his father, he had to endure passive-aggressive comments about his privilege behind the scenes. jason wanted to make a name for himself; he didn’t want to be reduced to a celebrity chef’s son who just got lucky. so he worked—he worked and worked and worked until the jealous muttering stopped and he gained the respect of his subordinates.

—o5. after three years into working with his father, the enthusiasm ebbed and jason felt nothing but dissatisfaction. he didn’t want this—he didn’t want to be clinging on to his father for support his entire life. fearing that his passion for cooking will wither if he kept on working at the restaurant, he quit and moved back to maryland, getting a place for himself and eager to learn to stand on his own two feet.

in-depth

—a natural-born leader: working as a sous chef enabled jason to have a great command of handling a team. at first, he had been meek, but through determination and his sheer drive to prove the negative people in his life wrong, he was able to cultivate himself into a good leader. in the kitchen, jason is totally in his element, oozing with confidence and assertiveness.

—the dependable one: jason is organised and he’s the type of person who you can rely on for help. he prioritises his friends and family over anything else. need someone to drive you home? jason’s the guy for you. suffering from a bad hangover? he’s got the perfect hangover shake. you lost your house keys and need a place to stay? jason’s got an extra room in his apartment ready. jason is always making sure his friends are well cared for. and probably also giving them lectures whenever they make questionable choices.

—this bitch is impulsive: as much as jason has his shit together, jason can be impulsive—you might catch him splurging on the new yeezy shoes, or planning a spontaneous, overpriced trip to the bahamas. he likes having fun, and sometimes, that energy gets him into tricky situations. he really likes spending money, and unfortunately, his parents never taught him the important value of thriftiness.

—sometimes he can be harsh: jason had been pampered all throughout his life, and sometimes he disregards other people’s feelings because he is simply oblivious—brutal honesty is a double-edged sword. it takes a lot to piss him off, because he’s rather good at handling his emotions, but when you successfully do, it’s not a pretty sight. he tends to say things he doesn’t mean in the heat of the moment. in addition, jason tends to hold grudges; if someone has done him wrong, you bet your ass he’ll never look at you the same way ever again.

+: energetic, headstrong, intuitive, protective

-: argumentative, insensitive, over-analytical, rash

miscellaneous

— drives around town with his bike! he has a car but it’s parked in his childhood home… he doesn’t really use it that much unless he needs to go out of the state or something

— has a white lil pet hamster named bonnie...she is his CHILD!!!!!! — he has a food blog that he constantly updates for fun; his following is steadily going up... amazin....

— has always been an artsy kid... if he didn’t like cooking so much he would’ve pursued a career in art — always seems to be snacking on something? raw carrots in particular...... — he is also a gym rat! he eats a damn lot, so he’s gotta burn those calories, right? he usually jogs early in the morning and goes to the gym after work — he’s played the violin ever since he was a child! he wants to learn how to play the guitar but he keeps on procrastinating

the wanted connections (if any of these interest you, hit me up! some are more detailed than others but all of them are open to modifications tbh, we can develop them however we want :) feel free to  choose multiple plots..,.,. go crazy)

— vibe check. - sometimes, he forgets to take care of himself and this person!!!! is his mom friend, the terry to his jake peralta, the person he can count on when he’s crossfaded in the middle of nowhere at 3 in the morning. (ivy)

— bff. - the ride or die. the one person jason would literally murder for. he loves them and  considers them as his family. they are 100% with each other and? both are probably equally chaotic sfjldsdjfhsdlk (minnie)

— the squad. - i really love the idea of jason having three close friends! i can see them going on spontaneous trips and doing really, really dumb shit in general dsjfls (1/3) — the roommate. - PLS! he needs a roommate...imagine the domesticity i’m WEAK (minki)

— buzzfeed unsolved. - jason believes in the supernatural. this person doesn’t. jason spends a lot  of his free time trying to convince this person that ghosts are, in fact, real, often taking them to ‘haunted’ places and attempting to summon spirits through his ouija board. (minnie)

— i’m baby. - basically, jason dotes on this person like a mama bird. he cooks them meals, drives them to places and always keeps an eye out for them. — the confidant. - the person he could say he truly trusts the most; while jason is generally sociable, he finds it hard to open up to people, preferring to be the confidant than to confide in his friends. they’re the first person he runs to when he’s upset or stressed. (sienna)

— friends. - open to multiple of all types (fellow foodie, gym buddies, unlikely, one-sided, frenemies, neighbors, etc.)

— flings, hookups, fwbs. - open to multiple. (can be messy, can be casual)

— exes. - jason has lived in ocean city all his life, so anything is possible! they could’ve been at the same high school, maybe they broke up because jason moved to new york and the relationship fizzled out, they could be on good terms or bad terms………GIVE ‘EM TO ME (sienna; exes on good terms with a tiny bit of unresolved feelings)

— the pianist. - this is a lil specific, but basically i imagine jason having participated in music competitions and performed in galas, and this person is their partner!! their other half!!! the nodame to his chiaki!!!! if ur muse can play the piano pls hmu this is just a really cute relationship that i cant stop thinkin about bc jason is a violin nerd (ivy)

— romance. - i’m a hoe for spicy plots! i don’t really want to give out anything specific, but some suggestions aaaare: opposites, exes w/ feelings, one-sided love, skinny love, a love-hate relationship….. 

feel free to go through my wanted connections tag for inspiration!

#joliet.intro #hhere we go #rock n roll buckaroo

[aceandaroacts]

On Being a Happy Family of One

[This month, I'm hosting the Carnival of Aces, a blogging festival where participants respond to a topic. The topic I've chosen for this month is "Conscious and Unconscious Differences". You can see the other submissions and join in here!]

Considering the experiences you’ve had that are tied to your asexuality, how have they made you stronger?

Hi! I'm aceandaroacts. If you met me in real life, I'd introduce myself as a coder of custom software and grandma-at-heart. But this is the internet!

The most important thing to know about me is not the things I've built, places I've gone, or the experiences I've overcome. It's my attitude: "I can do this!"

When I first started thinking about topics to write about for this month's Carnival of Aces, I was torn between several ideas. I love fashion. I understand none of it, and never know what I'm doing, but I have fun with it and am trying to figure out how to be more... visible? as one of the few agender people at my company. I also have a cool history with being forced to dress like a Gothic nun half my life and building cosplays and cool Halloween costumes in the present half. But that felt a little too intersectional, and might not be as useful from an academic lens.

I thought about cryptography, clandestine communication, and the obsession with language and selective secrecy I had as a kid, and how that connects to a lot of ace symbols - the black ring on the middle finger, ace cards, cake, dragons... and how I wound up spending two months and hundreds of hours consuming all the ace content I could find, because words and language and symbols are so important!

And I thought about my life; how it compares to the default narrative, and how I'm going about building my own.

This month's theme is conscious and unconscious differences. Unconscious, as in automatic, or as in: before I knew I was asexual. Conscious, as in: intentional. It's broad enough to wrap around all the above, but specific enough in the "how does this make you stronger" bit that I think we'll still see some cool patterns and strengths arise that help to establish our own narrative tropes.

I bought "unsexy" conservative outfits before I know I was asexual. I avoided people that showed too much interest in me automatically. I unconsciously avoided conversations about dating, sex, attraction, and masturbation with friends by walking away or changing the topic. My favorite colors have always been purple, silver, black, and white. Strategy games were my favorite. I'd obsess over characters that were mysterious, building all kinds of different backstories and futures for them in my head. I never had sleepovers, and didn't understand why people would want them. I was the "lone wolf" in my friend groups - a drifter that got along pretty well with all kinds of people, but ultimately did whatever they wanted with or without company. Around 60% of my friends were adults; I had great relationships with the teachers and staff members at my school, and I knew all the local librarians by name. The gender split of my friend group was always pretty close to 50-50, and populated with extremely different perspectives - punk anarchists, exchange students, female football players, native american sci-fi enthusiasts, anorexic wrestlers, etc. I loved words, loved codes and ciphers, loved fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and music with lyrics. I avoided drama like the plague. I had a very unstable home life, and moved locations almost every year. Home only extended as far as to the skin on my body. I never dreamed about weddings or fancy houses or kids (or even pets!). P.E. (Physical Education) was the worst - I felt uncomfortable in the dressing rooms, so I would arrive early before people started undressing and would change in the restrooms so I would have privacy and avoid seeing naked people as much as possible. I never obsessed over my body - I could go for months at a time without looking in a mirror. My reputation was based on my academics and random hobbies, not my looks or relationships. People sought me out as a mentor and constantly told me I was "mature" and "an old soul". When fights broke out, people looked to me as a fair and impartial judge of the situation, and respected whatever verdict I reached. It felt a lot like being a Buddha!

Realizing I was asexual didn't change much of that, but it did cause me to face choices head-on: would I try to find a partner, or not? Would I try to live with other roommates, or not? Would I try to be attractive, or not? Would I go to bars to make friends, or not? Would I worry about having a weak social network, or not? Would I want to live in a retirement community, or not? Would I want kids around, or not? What would my milestones in life be? How would I fulfill my human need to be social? Who would I trust to take care of me in an emergency?

I'm estranged from my birth family. I'm asexual, aromantic, agender, touch-averse, romance-repulsed, sex-repulsed, and introverted as can be. I tried dating and was so miserable that I wound up finding asexuality because of it in the first place. I don't trust myself to be a parent since my own parents screwed up so badly that it left me with three mental illnesses and a decade's worth of unwinding bad life lessons. So I'm in a fun position!

The "normal" life journey story goes like this: You grow up with two loving biological parents, get your education, graduate, get further training or education via school or a first job, find your partner in life, get into a steady career, get married and live together, have kids, raise those kids, watch them get their education and jobs and move away, then retire and die at an old age. My life only has the education and job bits (retirement? in this economy? die old? on this polluted planet?). I'm not going to look for a lifelong partner. I'm not having kids or adopting. There's a whole lot of white space where everyone else has milestones, and I've consciously accepted that as okay. I'm a family of one, and it's great!

The first milestones I set for myself were to find good roommates, help out fellow child abuse survivors, and own a home. I've achieved them! My next milestone is to do something big and artsy that makes a decent amount of people happy. I have no idea what it will be, yet - right now I've been doing lots of little things: teaching workshops, building costumes, painting, home renovation projects. I'm gonna try being in a music band this year. The milestone after that will be to have a big impact via a community-service type initiative. There's a woman in my city that created an LGBTQ homeless shelter that's an actual home-like environment (seasonal housing with free counseling, job training, stocked pantry, etc. aimed at guiding people to independence and self-sufficiency) which I thought was really cool, and I'd like to do something that's on a similar scale. After that, who knows? Maybe publish a book instead of writing 12 of them and letting them collect dust? Maybe run a small rainbow-themed cafe that makes fancy desserts? So many possibilities!

It's exactly these differences that bleed into my strengths. I'm super independent/self-motivated/self-directed, because I've had to be to survive. I excel at navigating uncertainty, ambiguity, assessing risks, and forecasting outcomes and trends, because my life has a lot of uncertainty and risk compared to the average population. I'm quick to pick up on communication styles and tailor my messages accordingly, because I've had to be mindful about it when navigating my parents and people that developed crushes on me and/or became stalkers. My superpower at work is my ability to dodge all of the politics at play and get everyone on board with factually beneficial solutions (so I still come across as an objective party vs someone playing favorites or only looking out for themselves). People have faith that I'm an expert in all things IT, even when I mess up, because I ask good questions and make fewer assumptions. (I assumed I was cis for 22 years and surprise! I was wrong. Anyone can be wrong. Especially if they are never forced to think about the thing!) I'm great at organizing live events - I plan multiple award shows and get-togethers. I also run an ace & aro meetup in my city! (The experience of being isolated will make an organizer out of you real quick!) People seek me out as a mentor and coach at work because I'm already satisfied with my life and who I am, and I genuinely want to help others without expecting anything in return. I intentionally stay in touch with and work to expand my friend group, which means I have a great professional network of actual friends that I find interesting and fun to be around, and not just LinkedIn faces. If I weren't ace, I wouldn't be doing that. And if I still didn't know I was ace, I wouldn't be doing it half as much as I do now - when you really focus on it, it's so worth it!

So, yeah. Asexuality is a part of me, and it's great. How does your identit(y/ies) make you great?

#carnival of aces #actually asexual #asexual #ace

[swedeandsour]

Ea Kaya on having a voice in the digital generation; the beauty of flaws and the importance of slowing down

Though she can certainly count her successes, making music is more than a numbers game according to Christine Kiberg, the Danish pop star better known as Ea Kaya. From her humble beginnings as YouTube cover artist to millions of streams on her Spotify page, Christine's story is one of resilience in an everchanging musical landscape. With her last record taking the heavy words "Fragile but Strong as Hell" in her title, Christine's sincerity serves as a rallying call to the downtrodden. Her music speaking a lyrical honesty rarely spoken, Ea Kaya believes that showing vulnerability isn't weakness, but rather something that demonstrates courage. But despite her successes, Ea Kaya's decided that maybe it's time for a break, to allow for her relationship with music to become intuitive again. Christine knows that she isn't perfect and neither is Ea Kaya, and that sometimes expectations whether business or personal can leave one becoming cynical and self-critical. Catching up online over Instagram memes and emails, Ea Kaya's Christine Kiberg gives us the low-down in an honest interview where she tells us about past successes and the importance of having a voice in an increasingly interconnected and rapidly-changing world. Keeping busy with her studies and reacquainting with nature to kick the Coronavirus blues, Ea Kaya caught up with us to remind ourselves the importance of slowing down and about seeing the beauty through the flaws.

Words: Peter Quincy Ng

Before Ea Kaya began, you were Christine Kiberg playing guitar covers on  YouTube. Although you didn't play your own songs back then, you obviously still  had to put your personal brand into it. Was there a selection process in the songs  you played and what you thought might resonate with fans and yourself? How has  the feedback you received as a cover artist shaped the way you are today as a  musician? 

Selecting the songs to post was quite simple: it had to be a popular, brand new song to catch the most possible viewers or just a song that I had loved. Because of my channel online, I frequently went to sites like Billboard to keep up with  International music just as much as I kept up with the music scene here in Denmark. I’ve been told countless times that my music doesn’t sound like it’s written by a Dane, and this is very likely because I’ve grown up listening to enormous streams of international pop  songs.  

By the way, congratulations on your Red Bull acoustic session of "4 AM" rolling  over one million streams on Spotify! Live sessions as we both know, were largely  exclusive to YouTube in the past, how have digital streaming platforms changed  your outlook as an artist in this new digital era of music consumption.

Thank you! The age of streaming is interesting. On one hand, I think it’s extremely exciting how everyone can release music at any given time. I also love how streaming can function like radio, in that it recommends you new music you haven’t heard before and that  probably wouldn’t find on your own. The streaming world does have a cynicism to it  though, in a degree the music industry hasn’t seen before. The supply of music is enormous, and the listener patience is decreasing. If it wasn’t for the revival of the vinyl, nobody would be buying albums anymore, and you can’t claim that there are big dollars in  streaming. We could discuss the many pros and cons of streaming for hours, but overall, I’ll say it saved the booty of the music industry from piracy.  

Ea Kaya · 4 AM

Anyway, with regards to your latest single, I love the flipping of the age-old adage, “sticks and stones can break my bones but words cannot hurt me” on "Skin and  Bones". As a person of the internet generation how important is it to realize that our online actions matter and the importance of mental health? 

Social media can be fun and we get a unique opportunity to connect with people from all  over the world. The internet is gigantic and it can seem so insignificant to write something  to a person you don’t know, who might even be sitting on the other side of the planet. The message still does reach the receiver though, and if you’ve written something that you wouldn’t tell a person face-to-face, of course your message can still hurt when it’s send in cyberspace. It’s hard not to compare yourself to what you see on social media, and many people already deal with low self-esteem. Nobody is immune to hatred, and only a fool will think their comments and messages are harmless.  

You directed your video Skin and Bones at home during quarantine, but for you,  nature was always integral to your well-being. Tell us about growing up by the water  and the woods, in Denmark and the importance of going outside.  

Everything is moving fast these days, and growing up I was taught how important it is to  pull the plug sometimes and go for a walk. The forest and the ocean therefore equal peace  to me. Besides finding calm, I find a lot of inspiration and happiness in nature. The sounds,  the smells, the beauty - it’s so genuine and fresh. I like the liveliness of the city, but living  far from nature makes me feel claustrophobic.  

The messages in your lyrics are always simple, direct and easy-to-understand. Is it  difficult putting sometimes very abstract topics into words?

Many years ago, I wrote songs that were full of metaphors and poetic descriptions; maybe to protect myself, maybe to sound artsy (laughs). I later found that it was a lot more giving to write songs that made people feel heard, understood and moved, even if it meant that I had to spill all my darkest secrets and deepest insecurities. As a songwriter, I think you  have to be willing to take chances and give away a little bit of yourself if you wish to get  something back.  

Ea Kaya · Cruel To Be Kind

One of the things I've noticed in your video especially "Remedy" and  "Cruel to Be Kind" is the topic of male vulnerability and gender fluidity. Why is it important to have these images? 

I feel extremely lucky to be a part of my generation, because we are more free than ever to love who we love, be who we want to be, express how we feel and believe in what we  believe in. Stereotypes and gender norms can be toxic, and even harmful. Telling somebody what they should do or who they should be won’t change the truth and nothing good  comes with it. For so long, standing out has been a negative thing, but we’re becoming  more and more accepting of each other’s differences. Individuality is becoming a positive thing and it’s just fantastic.  

Ea Kaya · Remedy

The title of your latest EP is "Fragile but Strong as Hell". The archetype of the  female artist is either one of female tenderness or the strong, independent, no nonsense woman. Why is it important to have that middle ground like you mention  in the title of your last record? 

Personally, I think showing weakness is a strength in itself. It’s easy to put up an armor  and only show your bright sides, but it takes courage to let people see when you feel  vulnerable. You can be fragile and strong as hell at the exact same time, and I think it’s  healthy to have both sides.  

Growing up in a musical family, music would seem like an obvious career choice.  But you're also a student in computer science, tell us how that's been and why  you've decided to do it on the back of a successful music career. 

I see why you think it’s an obvious choice. The funny thing is that all of the musicians in  my family are classical musicians, opera singers, to be exact. It’s two extremely different  worlds. It’s definitely a matter of perspective though (laughs)! Besides doing music, I recently  started studying Communication and IT. To be completely honest with you, I’ve felt trapped in a bubble for a very long time. In this business, everyone knows everyone, and most  people talk about the same thing, or about themselves or other people that you both know. Last year I decided I needed to learn something new and challenge myself. So far  it’s working out fine to do both!  

I heard you took your name Ea Kaya from "Ea" and "Kaya", both hypothetical  names you'd give your daughters if your music career never took off. Seeing that all  didn't crash and burn, what advice would you give to other young, female artists wanting to do things the Ea Kaya route? 

The Ea Kaya route is definitely the long, complicated route. If you start from scratch  without a network like I did, my advice for you is this:  

1) Practice! Then practice a bit more!  

2) Look for music offers and connections in your local area. There may be camps and classes that could be relevant. Write on music sites and social media that you are looking  for collaborators.  

3) If step #2 didn’t lead you to amazing partners that miraculously want to help you make  demos for free, then welcome to this step; get yourself a job and save up money to record  those incredible demos of yours!

4) Send your music to anyone you could imagine yourself working with. Be persistent and  if needed, pushy. Forget about modesty - if you’re on step 4, you’ve already worked your  ass off to get here.  

5) Last one: Remember why you do music. Yes, I’m bringing the cheese and the grease, but nevertheless you’re entering a strange, cool place with many ups and downs, so your  motivation is actually a very significant thing to keep in mind.  

You’re a very charismatic young woman and I don't think I can ever question your  success. But one question remains, how exactly how many popsicles did you go  through in your video for "Tied Up"? That's a lot of popsicles from what I see! 

(Laughs) That’s a quality question. I felt so bad about all those popsicles going to waste.  The cashier must’ve given my director some type of look when he went and purchased  that batch! 

Ea Kaya · Tied Up

#ea kaya #christine kiberg #danish music

[onestowatch]

BLACKSTARKIDS on Harnessing 2000s Nostalgia, Comfort Food, and Debut Album ‘Whatever, Man’ [Q&A]

BLACKSTARKIDS’ music can best be described as forward-facing nostalgia. Born and raised in Raytown (a small suburb at the outskirts of Kansas City), tyfaizon, Deiondre, and TheBabeGabe of BLACKSTARKIDS grew up in the throes of a golden era for rap, bubblegum pop, and indie rock. All cultural phenoms in their own right, traces of these genres can be found spattered throughout BLACKSTARKIDS’ work.

Hot on the heels of their SURF mixtape, the Dirty Hit signees are hard at work on their debut studio album, Whatever, Man. I caught up with Ty, Gabe, and Deiondre over email to ask them about comfort food, their lead single “BRITNEY, BITCH,” and what it means to be a BLACKSTARKID.

Ones To Watch: How would you describe BLACKSTARKIDS’ music in non-genre terms?

Ty: I’d say BLACKSTARKIDS is coming of age music. Nostalgia plays a large factor in what we do too. We try to make what sounds and feels good to us, but we still find ways to attack a lot of issues in the music too.

Gabe: I’d describe BLACKSTARKIDS music as very young and nostalgic. It’s always very fun and makes me feel like I’m in a completely different era.

Deiondre: I would say BLACKSTARKIDS music sounds like a day in a life but in a song, a lot of the songs sound nostalgic and bright and sounds like it would be be a soundtrack to our lives. “BRITNEY, BITCH” is so carefree and anthemic.

What was the inspiration for the single (besides the Princess of Pop herself)?

Ty: We were inspired by how bright and confident a lot of the pop music from the 2000s was, so we just thought it’d be fun to do a song where we fully indulged in that.

Gabe: The inspiration for “Britney Bitch” is us living out our wildest dreams. We talk about wanting to be iconic pop stars, winning the lottery, driving in Teslas, and becoming heartthrobs. The song feels so 2000s and I feel we really captured that with our lyrics.

Deiondre: The track was inspired by music that wasn’t afraid to be flashy and bold back in the 2000s. I think it’s pretty awesome and funny that we did a song like this because we’re some pretty nice kids. I would want anybody to feel great about themselves after listening to the song.

What music did you listen to growing up in Raytown?

Ty: I listened to every rap album I could get my hands on as a kid, I have an embarrassing amount of rap knowledge. From new to old, I always wanted to be able to have an opinion and I loved debating adults on rap when I was a kid. My favorite rap was Kanye West, Jay-Z, A Tribe Called Quest, Wayne, any Wu-Tang, Outkast, and then I found modern stuff like Cudi and eventually Odd Future and that changed everything. I started listening to rock when I was 10, Nirvana was my first band and I still love them and then I got really into bands like MGMT, Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, etc. and went down a rabbit hole. Those are the two main genres I listened to as a young kid but now I like to give everything a try, I’ll probably find songs I love by almost every artist.

Gabe: I remember when I got my first iPod nano as kid and being so excited. Before I would just listen to music on the computer or through my Hello Kitty CD player. The first album I remember adding was Graduation by Kanye West. That album holds so many childhood memories in my heart and it’s absolutely one of my faves. I grew up listening to Missy Elliot, Madonna, Destiny's Child, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Nelly Furtado, and so many more legends. The list can literally go on forever.

Deiondre: I was listening to a lot of Indie and rap. A lot of Childish Gambino, Alvvays, Mac Miller, and a lot of our close friends we made music with especially. Having music from our friends that I actually listened to consistently was super cool.

If you could Postmates anything right now, what would it be?

Ty: I can count on two hands how many times I’ve ever eaten this, but right now a philly cheesesteak sounds really good. My classic meal is buffalo wings and ranch though I eat that way too much, fries on the side and this drink called Green Goodness always helps too.

Gabe: If I could postmates anything right now it would be a slice of pizza from this called Sbarro. There isn’t one in Kansas City unfortunately. That’s probably in my top five pizza places.

Deiondre: I would definitely be getting some hot wings delivered to me ASAP. They’re like my favorite snack food of all time.

What can listeners expect for Whatever, Man? How does it differ from SURF?

Ty: Whatever, Man is happier than SURF, we were a lot happier when we made it. It’s brighter, and I think the production and songwriting have only developed. It’s a fun album, listening to it is a good time. The intro sounds like a theme song.

Gabe: Whatever, Man is a lot brighter than SURF. I feel like you’ll be able to really hear the band forming and us growing as artists. Whatever, Man is really special to us and I’m so excited to share it with the world.

Deiondre: Whatever, Man sounds more bigger and colorful than SURF and it sounds like we’re fully living out the life always we dream of. I’m super excited for everyone to hear it.

What is the first thing you’re doing once quarantine ends?

Ty: Going to a local show then the next day Matty Healy is gonna open his door and see me. He’s not going to expect it but it’s going to happen.

Gabe: When quarantine ends, I want to go to a theme park. I didn’t get to ride any roller coasters this summer and I really miss the thrill of it. 

Deiondre: When quarantine ends, I’m for sure going to a show, it’s been too long since I’ve moshed and I’ve got tons of energy I wanna release for performances as well.

How do you define what it means to be a BLACKSTARKID?

Ty: Being a BLACKSTARKID is being black and being yourself, BLACKSTARKIDS is not exclusionary to any type of person that looks like us. We were sort of outcasted growing up, but I feel like too many “artsy black kids” grow up and outcast people themselves. That’s not the goal for us, we want to make life easier for everyone who looks like us.

Gabe: Being a BLACKSTARKID means you’re being your true self and not caring what others think. Growing up and kind of feeling like an outcast but not really giving a damn mindset. We want everyone to feel welcomed when listening to our music and when they get to see us on stage.

Deiondre: Being a BLACKSTARKID means fully accepting yourself for who you really are and never giving up on yourself as well. It can be hard sometimes being yourself whenever you need to, but I hope for people to feel a release through listening to our music and that it will make them feel good.

Who are your Ones To Watch?

Ty: There’s so many exciting artists right now. AG Club, Huron John, Hadji Gaviota, and then of course my close friends make great music too like Paris Williams, and Monogram.

Gabe: Paris Williams, AG CLUB, Vida, Huron John, Monogram, Medici, and Hadji Gaviota.

Deiondre: AG CLUB, Huron John, Paris Williams, Hadji Gaviota, Medici, Monogram.

#blackstarkids #interview #whatever man #pop #anti pop #alternative

[calvarineharrod]

The adventures of Calvarine and Hayley’s “GIRLS TRIPPPPP!!!!!"

Johannesburg: affectionately known as the “City of Gold”, a place where risk-takers and money-makers come to witness their dreams grow into fruition. I love this city: the rush, the adrenaline, the swiftness and feisty attitudes of people. There’s just so much hustle in the air, or maybe in the water? Regardless, living in this place requires thick skin, a thicker bank account, a full tank of petrol - cos’ traffic…

My extremely close friend, Hayley, momentarily come up with an idea to visit Johannesburg for a quick weekend Girls Trip. After watching Girls Trip together, it kinda accelerated the thought of us having a super chilled weekend plus we have never travelled together, anywhere!!

History: Hayley and I have been friends since grade 8. 12 years down; we are still the closest of friends and surprisingly still have the same goofy conversations that we did at 13. This friend of mine is a High flyer, sports science Honours graduate, has traveled overseas, has her own medical practice, rocks a 6 pack of abs and still maintains relationships with friends, family and her boyfriend. She’s one of those girls who can do anything. I look like a complete blob next to her #Lol.

Hayley, being the Type-A smarty pants, arranged our travel itinerary for the weekend including Flights and Accommodation. I was so excited and grateful for her effort in the entire process. We set flight on 3rd November 2017, a parching hot summers day, from Durban to Johannesburg. Throughout the entire buildup, I would constantly quote phrases for Girls Trip especially the lines from Tiffany Haddish (my new favorite actress) especially because I found it hilarious.

We arrived at OR Tambo Airport around 9h30. Hayley’s cousin, who also happened to graciously be our chauffeur for the weekend, was punctually awaiting our arrival at the pick up zone. Our intentions from the outset was to have fun and create spontaneous memories. Nothing pedantically over planned, no deadlines, just fun. I personally have never done something so daring. Being 25 and having experienced so little in life, I grabbed upon the opportunity to just live, even if it just meant for one weekend.

We drove straight to the Mall of Africa, a place I’ve been wanting to see. After scoffing down a brunchy meal, we proceeded to look around. I was totally in my element looking at all the designer stores with fashion I’ll probably never afford. Besides, I’m not a girl who is obsessed with a label. I also happened to have my first “Starbucks Experience”, a chocochinni frappachino covered in whipped cream. However, I was unimpressed with the waiter who asked me to SPELL MY NAME?! Do they realize they work for Starbucks. Have they noticed that people come there for the fun of guessing if their names get spelt properly?! Side note: urgent HR intervention and staff training is needed at this branch.

We also visited my 2nd favourite shop, TYPO, which is a cute, artsy vibey shop. Time flew and soon, messages from family members started to trickle in asking about our whereabouts. We headed straight to The Barron which looked like a relaxed, white-collared, Friday afternoon location where people sat with their loosened ties and drank Castle Lager. It was cool. Sundowners after a hectic week sounds tempting. We decided to drive to our accommodation only to realize it is peak traffic at 13:00. I’m assuming a lot of people leave work at this time. Traffic was ridiculous. We were entangled with taxis, school transport and working class people, all rushing to the excitement of the weekend.

We arrived at our accommodation (47 on Preston) precisely at 14:00 and checked into our neatly prepared, air conditioned, wifi-zoned room with a stunning pool and views to match. The area was called Highlands North and the houses were impressive. Security was priority for us hence, the 24hr access controlled body guard, secure features and boom gates gave us peace of mind.

Our sweet ‘chaperone’ (Hayley’s Cousin) ensured we had snacks and liquor at our disposal. Skyy Vodka, Savannah and Amstel were on the menu. After chilling and catching up, we had to plan the night. I am unfamiliar with the night life of Johannesburg. We started getting ready and in the midst of it all, another cousin decided to visit us and show us around after all It’s an Indian thing to stick together. This particular cousin was weird. He was soft spoken, very proud, a straight A student, forensic scientist and quite an opinionated person. I am certainly not accustomed to this type of behavior. We didn’t get off to a great start. I’m all for successful people but not the proud ones. I’d like to think that I’m a cool, chilled and open-minded person. I’m always telling people “Don’t Judge” and this was an appropriate time to take my own advice!!

He brought through a bottle of caramel vodka and sipped. Funny thing is, this guy continued to drop hints the entire night of how intelligent, successful and opulent he is. The car he drives, the area he stays, the alumni he belongs to and his career, which is prospering at an exponential rate. Luckily Hayley informed me about this dude. Nothing serious, she just told me don’t worry, he is different from the average guy.

This dude was slightly tipsy at the arrival of our uber cab. I was controlling the Aux cord playing my “fresher than” music. They were not impressed. Seems like these freaking people don’t like Nas and Vic Mensa! Are you even my friends? Ha ha. We arrive at monte casino, a nightlife spot in Johannesburg, suggested by this cousin. I was actually warming up to him and started to laugh at his jokes. Please don’t any ideas. He has a spouse and over-saturated metrosexual tendencies. Definitely not my type.

The night got funnier. We ate and thereafter entered a place called “3sixty liquid lounge” which has a brilliant live band and serves cocktails, cute baby pink and blue candy floss shooters, bubblegum flavored liqueurs served in test tubes and other unconventional drinks. I loved it. Vibe was cool, we were probably the youngest group of people there, nevertheless, I am a huge fan of Earth Wind Fire and Bruno Mars. We took a quick walk around the casino to my disappointing bewilderment, people were gambling and it was almost 1 am. I hate gambling so I wasn’t pleased to witness people losing their entire salaries on a table. The ride home was hilarious. We got to bond with the weirdo. It was banter the entire night. I wasn’t holding back, neither was he. Safely reached home, thankfully to uber (that driver was relived to drop us). Liquor usually fuels deep thinking so the conversation of religion came up. Uh-oh!

We sat for over 2 hours conversing about religion and there is no decent, happy way to end this conversation without someone getting offended. Throughout the discussion, I was quite level minded and reminded that my Faith is for me, it works for me and I don’t have to justify it. I was also reminded that the essence of a religion is to have faith in God, that’s the basis of Christianity. So when someone wants hardcore facts, times, places and dates - especially when they have a debilitating hatred for Christianity, I will not be intimidated and cross questioned by someone who is out to make a point rather than seeking to understand. Here we are in a very familiar scenario: Christians vs Hindus. The answers were flying back and forth. Eventually we all agreed to disagree and by this time, the dried sweat started to irritate my skin. They gang was getting ready for bed and the proud cousin who earlier asked why we are staying in this place eventually ended up sleeping in one of the beds.

Funny story: earlier that day, we found banana flavored condoms in the room and wanted to prank Hayley’s 'cool’ cousin. We even dispensed some droplets of handwash in order to make it seem like it was used. Yuck! We slipped it under the covers and pretended like nothing happened.

Fast forward to later that evening, well it was early hours of the morning, proud cousin decided to sleep in the bed which had the condom. I was only just informed that he is a germaphobe. He felt the slippery substance and sprang out of bed like a cat in water! It was hilarious. Shortly after that, everyone passed out from pure exhaustion.

Saturday morning started off great. We were treated to an in-house breakfast prepared by the Muslim hostess and then proceeded to the Rosebank Mall. En route, I was speechless at the upper echelon of Johannesburg. The buildings, the infrastructure, the complex designs and luxurious apartments. For a split second you even ask yourself, is this South Africa? Are we even in a recession? Rosebank mall was super cool. From Hamleys to Krispy Kremes, we waltzed our way to almost all the stores and I was majorly impressed.

Our next stop was Melose Arch. I was levitating. I had never been to this place and always heard about it on TV/Radio. We approached the entrance of Melrose arch with Lambourguinis, Porshe, Ferrari, limousines and various other exotic cars parked inside. Funny thing, it wasn’t even a car expo. These were normal patrons who happened to be in this place. Once again, I’m thinking “is this really Johannesburg?! This feels like a foreign place.”. Melrose Arch has various luxury shops, amazing restaurants and beautiful cobble stoned pave ways decorated with Vespas to create an Italian feel.

Jamie’s Italian, founded by the talented chef Jamie Oliver, is an awesome 4/5 star restaurant. I’m a sucker for comfort food so I ordered a gigantic burger layered with different cheeses, sautéd onions, crisp lettuce and holonaise sauce with Parmesan drizzled fries and a refreshing signature Jamie Mojito. We strolled for a bit and went back to 47 on Preston to catch a breather and of course, prepare for our last night in Joburg.

We utilized the convenient services of Uber that weekend and through that, got to see the growth and splendor of our country’s golden city. There are construction sites everywhere possible. Infrastructure and renovations are booming. At the same time, we saw beggars at robots, extremely poor laborers, mostly from other African countries working for minimal wages. It was such a skewed representation. On one hand, we have bugattis and rolls royces lining the street and on the other, we have people digging in bins and hanging out of trains because of their poverty. Mind you, this was one road away of each other. I couldn’t fathom it. It was confusing. Once agin, you’re challenged to think, what are we doing wrong? Are the rich getting richer and poor getting poorer. How do we stabilize this situation. For some of us, growing up in disadvantaged communities affects in many ways. When you do well in life, you almost carry a sense of guilt for doing well and feeling sorry for people who have not achieved anything. Must you apologize for your success? Must you feel unworthy of getting a golden ticket just because your peers lacked drive to hustle?

Saturday night was about to go down. We were scheduled to meet some of their cousins on 4th Avenue in Parkhurst, cited as Joburgs version of Florida Road. We did a small pub crawl before settling into a local sports bar. We befriended 2 sisters sitting besides us. They were so sweet and shared their hookah with us. The drinks kept rolling, including my signature drink; 1 Smirnoff storm and 1 tot of Aftershock. It’s light, pink and tasty. Jäger bombs are always compulsory. Me and my greedy self got way ahead of the party and started twisping, experimenting with everyone’s flavors. Marshmallow, honey and red bull flavors mixed with alcohol and a hookah ended off in me wanting to puke. I felt bad for tainting the evening. We hopped into an uber cab and came home. With toothbrush in hand, I was determined to get sober asap, which I did! Straight to bed after a hot bath, we were ready to conquer the morning in high spirits seeing that it was also our last day of “Girls Trip”.

Sunday morning started off with a lovely breakfast. We packed up and proceeded to Rosebank mall which was my request. I needed to get my hands on some Krispy Kremes to bring back home. To kill time, we also attended this rooftop art and crafts market in the parking lot. I was so impressed with the variety and organization of this fete. It was beautiful and eccentric. Foods from every culture was sold, ethnic clothing and creative decor, eclectic jewelry and fashion - it was….. Different.

After obtaining my two dozen of Krispy Kremes, we headed out of Rosebank and straight to the Airport. We checked it with full luggage and a huge, embarrassingly box of 24 Krispy Kremes doughnuts. We thanked Hayley’s amazingly courteous and sweet cousin who gave us such a memorable time and boarded the flight.

In all, this was the best trip I’ve ever taken. No drama, no bickering, no anxiety, just pure fun. I’m was so appreciative of those 3 days and how my eyes got opened to a new way of life. It is vitally important to experience something different from your normal standard of living. Johannesburg is such a beast but contrives such beauty within its streets.

I had to share this memorable experience on my blog and even if it didn’t seem thrilling to you as you read, it meant the world to me. Here’s to more exciting experiences, spontaneous trips, everlasting friendships and ticking off the bucket list!!

#blog #blogger #Johannesburg #Africa #southafrica #friends #friendship #bucket list #girls trip #happiness #memories

[angeliaxy]

twenty things about me

Thank you ROO, for the tag. THIS IS VERY FUN~

Under read more bcs well. LOOONG xD

1. what is your favorite cartoon character?

OKAY. let’s just choose otome hubbies bcs I dont have anything else (with the exception of 2 FF boys idk if they’re ‘cartoon’ or not lol). I’ll just choose the ones who affected me the most or this will get super long xD

- Vlad   Honestly, I never fell THIS deep with otome guy UNTIL THIS GUY (and well Mitsuhide but let’s talk about him later). Everything about him is calling my soul. His appearance, his aesthetic (FLOWERS!!) Then, I went to Comte’s JP route and learning a lot more about his motivation, his personality.. ohmygod, I love everything about him??!! especially his /bad/ side!! and now.. I found MY OTOME SOULMATE, even I have to wait for years. I WILL WAIT and I will write a lot about youuuuu~

- Mitsuhide Ikesen   So, I’ve been Mitsuhide hoe since many many years ago, due to his history. THEN this Mitsuhide knocked every other Mitsuhide(s) out there and, omg just how layered he is and exactly someone who I would fall in love with?? He just sneaked his way to my heart since I saw him, well I downloaded Ikesen basically FOR HIM lol. LISTEN, I did all his route choices with +4 +4 results until the end. Perfect score, without hints/anything. I was both shook bcs it never happened before and ‘I DO LOVE HIM SO MUCH’. Another OTOME SOULMATE (ssshh I can have several ok~)

- Zen Mysme He helped me going through my worst depression years ago. My life felt so damn empty and I picked Mysme to play, then Zen. ZEN!! His overflowing love got me SOBBING everyday, like I cried in 90% of his chats/calls, and even until now. I can never get over him. I wrote random fics about him that time but I have disagreement with some of mysme aspects, so yeah, it was mostly fix-it fics *winks at Reira ehehehe* LOL. 

-Jumin Mysme THIS ONE. I KNEW I WOULD FALL FOR HIM SINCE I PICKED MYSME. (thank God Zen was the common route or I won’t play him bcs I would go straight for Jumin and stayed with him lol). And yet he still swept me off of my feet when I played his route. But unlike Zen, & the opposite actually, I feel like JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. Again, there were.. fix-it fics I wrote about him with my MC, just because. LOOOL.

-Victor Just.. Be mine, pretty pleaseeeeeeee? He’s my type 101% and he can call me dummy etc I would still love him xD While Jumin wrecked my heart but this CEO made me.. yearn. (and thirst. but let’s not get too far lol) I love his power, his strength and determination, his demeanor. BUT I just want his heart among everything else?? aaaaaaa.

-Theo This one oMG, he snuck on me so damn hard. He’s also someone I def would fall in love with. I just.. *sighs longingly* His devotion is what I adore the most. the LOYALTY, the whole bad guy vibe, but mostly. HIS BIG, BIG, SOFT HEART.

-Nobunaga I AM WEAK FOR HIM, I just love this devil king in both otome versions~ I’m always side-eyeing when people talked bad about these two versions of him. But then I think they just don’t understand him. still side-eyeing so hard, though~

-Comte Another ‘JUUUUST LET ME LOVE YOU’ case. I went to his JP route for Vlad but I slipped, fell for him too lol. Not usually my type, but he’s definitely the gentleman type I would want to wed (and bed??) LMAO ssshhh.

The rest are, well, obvious enough. Basically the ones who I write, I loooove them~

2. if you could be fluent in another language, which one would you choose?

Japanese. (and more English lol just to make writing easier)

3. what kind of food do you like the most?

SPICY FOOD. JAPANESE FOOD. and instant noodle haha. But I love sushi, abura soba, salmon, the moooost~

4. what is your favorite holiday memory?

I have a lot, I think? But going overseas!! Disneyland!! And I definitely love every visit I’ve done to Singapore. Never been to JP though *cries*

5. if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

JAPAN. and maybe Singapore. that’s it.

6. what is the worst job you’ve ever had?

My only and also current job. It’s just something I will never get used to because it’s the opposite of my artsy soul. So, RIP. Suffering forever. 

That time I did part-time for a private gaming server. that HURT bcs I fell for the one I worked with and let’s just say he was not available. I had to get out and disappeared from him lol. (still miss him sometimes.. sobs)

7. if you could meet anyone in history, who would it be?

Ehhhh. None. Not too interested in this. (Except if you count Mitsuhide, maybe? I want to know him looool)

8. if you could change one thing in your past, what would it be?

that I shouldn’t fall in love too easily? I had.. a lot of heartbreaking moments. AND I trusted people too easily back then, got used and back-stabbed too many times. so yeah.. kinda regretted that bcs it scarred me greatly

9. what is something that few people know about you?

That I write. Only 2 of my friends knew, and I won’t tell anyone else. This is my world, my safe haven.

I’m shy at first, but can be shameless after you get to know me HAHHAHA

10. if you had to evacuate your home, what would you take with you?

MY DOG. MY LAPTOP. lol, that’s it. OHHH WAIT. MY BJD DOLL, Charlotte!!! MUST SAVE HER.

11. you only get 3 words to describe yourself, what are they?

romantic, empathetic, and.. resilient I guess? my brain is currently tired lol

12. if you could jump into a pool of something, what would it be?

MONEY. LOOOL. nah, kidding. Not too interested in money. A POOL OF FLOWEEEEEEEEEEERS (just no thorns/poisonous flowers ok.) xD

13. if you could stop time for 1 hour, what would you do?

Write? idk, 1 hour is too short to do anything meaningful.

14. if you have a love potion that will make anyone love you back, who would it be?

MY 3D BIAS. PLS???? Any of them is ok, but that means I gotta deal with idol life... (sigh)

15. if your life was a movie, what would it be called?

Endless Sorrow. Yep~ (also one of my wip title xD)

16. if you have a time machine, would you go back in time or visit the future?

Why not both? HAHAHA but prob future. I’m just curious??

17. if you could be anyone in a movie, who would it be?

?? Ehm.. I have no idea tbh. I BLANKED.

18. if you can choose your couple’s name, what name would you choose?

idk? I need to find my soulmate and ask him first LMAOOOO

19. Where would you go for your dream holiday?

JAPAN PLS. T_T idk if I can ever go there.

20. would you rather live in a large urban city, a small town or in the countryside? Why?

Large urban city with PROPER & SAFE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, bcs LORD it’s so annoying here, where we need CARS to go around. It’s so limiting and ugh. And I love city too much to choose the other choices xD

#ange info #tag game

[garamondemagazine]

PROFILE: Alejandra Frank of Teros Gallery

Teros Gallery is a San Diego gallery supporting local and bi-national artists. They do exhibits, music shows, installations and contribute immensely to the SD local art scene.

Where are you from?

I was born and raised in San Diego, then lived in SF/Oakland for almost eight years. Pretty sure I left my heart there.

What is your background?

Family-wise: My mother is from what was once a small town in Nayarit, Mexico called Tepic. She moved to Guadalajara when she was seven. My dad was born in the Bronx to Russian/Romanian Immigrants who had fled to NYC as Jews escaping the Bolshevik Revolution. They moved to Binghamton, NY in the Fifties. My parents met in Guadalajara while my father was in medical school. They got married in Texas on Halloween and ended up moving to San Diego in 1972 when Fashion Valley was still grazing land for cows. Unfortunately, many of the important family members on my father's side had passed by the time I was born, and I was mostly raised around my mother's Mexican side of the family, a family made up almost entirely of artists.

Discipline-wise: I attended City College of San Francisco for several years, taking classes in Graphic Design, World Music, and Journalism. The need to work eventually lured me away from school, although I left with what was a good platform of skills and knowledge to inspire my desire to begin my magazine.

How did Teros Gallery start? What inspired Teros?

Having a workshop/show space was an idea marinating in my brain for a while. In 2011, some friends and I got together to create our first zine. "We are Speakers of an incomprehensible language" was our motto, something I had read regarding the Sioux Tribe. This was a group of artist friends coming together to do things for the sake of art/storytelling, riffing off a feeling for the need to create. These issues would come out about every other month, depending on when I could scrape/raise enough to print them. I insisted on the zine being free.

After the 3rd issue, I organized our first fundraiser in San Francisco. We had the show at a convent where my friend, Drew Fehlman was living. Drew built these bizarre, impressive wood panels to hang art on. All of the artwork was inside the church meanwhile bands/music were downstairs in the basement. It was a pretty amazing and exciting experience, especially since it was our first show. From then on, we kept doing events in different spaces, tying together and curating a subversive blend of music and art. I wanted to avoid having shows at bars and be as innovative as possible.

it was important for me to be consistent and never give up on making magazines, it was one of the only things that made me feel like I accomplished something. In 2015 I was going through some tumultuous times. We had to move out of our place in Oakland. I decided to quit both my jobs (Shout out to Little Star Pizza and Children's Creativity Museum) and focus on other aspects of my life. I ended up surviving without a home and doing odd jobs for over a year.

In the midst of this endeavor, my friend Amanda and I went to Tijuana to visit our friends Celeste and Aaron who were painting a mural outside of "Out Here". That weekend was very special and inspiring for many reasons. This was the same weekend I completed the 11th issue of Teros Magazine. On our way back from the border, Amanda asked me what my intentions, were for Teros. My response, was "I want a space, warehouse, any type of physical foundation for I'm doing." She immediately took me to 3888 Swift Ave. Her friends were living in a house behind an old Palm Reading place that was pretty much abandoned. I had the vision of art hanging on the walls, a place to create, meet people who are like-minded, play music, record, hang out, engage in the community, and most importantly, a safe space.

Thanks to all the amazing people that helped manifest this vision! You know who you are : )

Are you an artist yourself?

I grew up with a family of artistic freaks, the best kind of freaks. My mother was always painting or playing the piano. She is very generous with her materials and encouraged us to be artists. Her famous quote is "USA la Cabeza," or "use your head," artistry can be used to solve almost any situation. For a while I didn't understand the formal, collegiate concept of "art" but I always gravitated towards the weird shit, the mysterious, the psychedelic... the dare I say.. "artsy.." The creativity involved the music I listened to, the way I dressed, and my journals filled with scribbles and rants. I wasn't producing art, per se, but it became a part of everything I was into. Once I left San Diego, I felt more comfortable being myself and exploring my identity, realizing that being an artist could be more than producing original work. That an artist can be someone who chooses to live their life artistically, who reveres the importance of the senses and the exploring/pushing of cultural boundaries. I do feel what I do with Teros, both on paper and in the gallery, is an art. It takes a creative flair and knowledge to curate and organize an experience that itself is an original work (whether it be an art show, a musical performance or film screening).

Does teros have a mission?

Teros is a place for creation, a workshop for the realizing of dreams and a haven for community-based artists to thrive. Our mission is to do good for our neighborhood, to give the artist's a place to have a voice and to hold a place and a space for new and exciting Art and Music.

What do you think differentiates teros from other galleries in San Diego?

We transform the space as much as possible. We step out of the boundaries and keep it DIY. Due to the size of the gallery being so small, we have the advantage of being able to really play with the space, to take artists' rad ideas and make them happen! For instance, Melissa Walter, a former resident artist at NASA created a black hole in the corner of our gallery space using light-absorbing black paint and thread. It was like something out of 2001: Space Odyssey! And "Yenta" painted every wall with tall figures and designs in black, including a white flooring to give it a warped fun house feel. We don't focus on gaining capital with our shows; I work at a restaurant which pays for most of the expenses! But I enjoy the hustle.

What do you think about the art scene here in San Diego?

I feel incredibly lucky to be here, a place surrounded by truly inspiring people making incredible things happen. However, sometimes it feels like we are going in circles like we are doing things for our group of friends. I think a lot of San Diego is enamored by all the breweries suffocating our city and don't want to scratch the sun-soaked surface. If you dig deep, there's something very special. Just keep digging.

I think, the most recent show at SDAI, "Millennial Pink", was a turning point for San Diego.  The exhibit was centered on the beauty and emotions invoked from our queer culture.  Located in Balboa Park, many tourists from all over visit and get a chance to expose themselves to something different, and innovative. I think that says something.

How do you find the artists that show here?

I started showing artists I've published in Teros Magazine, including friends and family.  Since then it's been a domino effect. The space became a meeting ground for creative, like-minded people. Nowadays, you can find new artists on social media and they can find you, so that's also a nice thing.

Any upcoming projects?

I'm currently working on the newest issue of Teros.  The cover is set to feature one of my favorite visual artists, Davor Gromovlic, from Sombor, Serbia. Davor's work illustrates an incredible folklore tale, characters amongst nature cohabiting with extraterrestrial figures. I'm excited to see what will happen with this issue. Hopefully, it'll be complete by our two-year anniversary party in late October.

What is your message to the world?

Sometimes, your actions are your message. I am holding this gallery space for something I value as dearly as Art and Music because I think the world needs it. That's my message.

To find out more about Teros gallery and their upcoming shows you can check out their Instagram: @terosgallery or check out their space in San Diego!

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