#establishment in life

[revenantghost]

Anime Round-Up: Spring 2022

Once again, mostly doing this so I can keep track of what I’ve seen and remember to give my thoughts to peeps who asked for them. :’D I’m only including shows I enjoyed, as life is too short. My askbox is open if you have questions or want to know why I skipped one I was watching probably my memory crapping out lmao. Organized alphabetically!

Deaimon: Recipe for Happiness

Nagomu Irino returns to his Kyoto home for the first time in ten years when his father is hospitalized. Nagomu is eager to take over Ryokushou, the family's Japanese sweet shop, but he's instead asked to be a father figure to Itsuka Yukihira, the girl everyone calls the successor.

Adorable! Slice of life, very chill, lovely food, and a colorful cast of silly characters. I kinda wanted a more resolution regarding a certain character, but at the same time I feel like they ended it on a beautiful, poignant note (and opening that can of worms might take up a season by itself)

Estab-Life: Great Escape/Establishment in Life

The distant future. After reaching its peak, Earth's population fell into decline. AI was developed to help preserve the species and manage the ecosystem; a grand experiment in human diversity. Through genetic engineering, a diverse array of peoples, including beastfolk, magical beings, and more, was created to live in a diverse city separated into walled "clusters". Each cluster developed a unique culture, befitting of the people that lived there. Their lives, and the system, is continually maintained by the AI to ensure survival. 

What the actual fuck, this was so good?! It’s an absolutely insane ride with ridiculous and fantastic world building and plot you’d only ever see in an anime (which is why I love anime). If you can set aside the 3D graphics--that aren’t half bad imo--and the occasional cringe moment--which, what is anime but a cringe compilation?--this was brilliant show and I’m SO STOKED for the movie.

Yuusha, Yamemasu/I'm Quitting Heroing

When Demon Queen Echidna begins her invasion of the human realm, the people turn to the hero Leo Demonheart to protect them. Blessed with insurmountable power, Leo easily repels Echidna's army, thereby saving the world. But instead of gratitude or admiration, Leo is met with disdain and scorn from his fellow humans, who fear his overwhelming strength and believe that it may eventually cause humanity's demise. Banished from the kingdom he once called home, Leo wanders aimlessly throughout the land until, one day, he hears rumors of Echidna's efforts to rebuild her army. Hoping that demonkind might accept him as an ally, he returns to the demon queen's castle and offers Echidna his help. Naturally, Echidna immediately rejects him. Still, not all hope is lost, as Leo manages to convince Echidna's four generals to let him secretly work under their supervision. Donning the identity of a masked dark knight named Onyx, Leo solves the demon army's problems one by one—gradually improving the quality of life around the castle. Above all else, however, Leo wants to accomplish one goal: to learn why Echidna started the war in the first place.

This one joins the “what the fuck, this is so good?!” category. It starts of as the endearing found family but simple story you were hoping it would be, lovely character development going deeper than you’d expect. And then there are the PLOT TWISTS!!! I won’t spoil anything, but this show legit made me tear up at the end when I thought it would be mediocre at best, please give this a shot.

Shokei Shoujo no Virgin Road/The Executioner and Her Way of Life

Average student Mutou Mitsuki suddenly finds himself transported to another realm. Summoned by the king of this world for the remarkable power he is supposed to possess, Mutou is thrown out when it appears that he lacks a "Special Concept." Moping about, he encounters a priestess named Menou who explains that Japanese people like him are known as Lost Ones, and such individuals never fail to have Special Concepts. Menou elaborates that she is part of a church that helps abandoned Lost Ones integrate into society. She invites him to spend the night at her church, where the two can probe the nature of his ability. Eventually, they discover that Mutou's Special Concept is actually incredibly powerful and dangerous. But while Mutou celebrates, Menou shows her true colors and stabs him in the head, killing him instantly. Menou's goal is not to assist Lost Ones—rather, it is the opposite. Due to four infamous incidents where Lost Ones caused monumental damage, the church has ordered that the foreigners all be assassinated as soon as they are found. With Mutou eliminated, Menou must next dispatch the other Lost One summoned by the king: Akari Tokitou.

This is such a sleeper gem and I want to jump up to the rooftops and start screaming about it until my vocal chords give out. Sometimes the characters lost me a bit, but the plot is on a whole other level, the world building is superb, and it’s such a fantastic twist on isekai--and I loathe isekai. This is a true fantasy horror that keeps building and building tension and suspense with each reveal and I need to read the light novels so badly. Plus it’s wlw, which is a nice bonus.

Spy x Family

Corrupt politicians, frenzied nationalists, and other warmongering forces constantly jeopardize the thin veneer of peace between neighboring countries Ostania and Westalis. In spite of their plots, renowned spy and master of disguise "Twilight" fulfills dangerous missions one after another in the hope that no child will have to experience the horrors of war. In the bustling Ostanian city of Berlint, Twilight dons the alias of "Loid Forger," an esteemed psychiatrist. However, his true intention is to gather intelligence on prominent politician Donovan Desmond, who only appears rarely in public at his sons' school: the prestigious Eden Academy. Enlisting the help of unmarried city hall clerk Yor Briar to act as his wife and adopting the curious six-year-old orphan Anya as his daughter, Loid enacts his master plan. He will enroll Anya in Eden Academy, where Loid hopes she will excel and give him the opportunity to meet Donovan without arousing suspicion. Unfortunately for Loid, even a man of his talents has trouble playing the figure of a loving father and husband. And just like Loid is hiding his true identity, Yor—who is an underground assassin known as "Thorn Princess"—and Anya—an esper who can read people's minds—have no plans to disclose their own secrets either. Although this picture-perfect family is founded on deception, the Forgers gradually come to understand that the love they share for one another trumps all else.

I don’t think I need to say much here, the hype train has very rightfully been drooling al over this one. Want a beautiful found family that is now bound together inseparably while healing from their trauma, all whilst hiding behind a curtain of hijinks and shenanigans? (And not to mention the light of my life, dearest Anya!!!) This one’s for you! Also shout-out to that beautiful animation and ost. *chef kiss*

Vampire in the Garden

It's been a long winter for mankind, overthrown from its place of dominance after being defeated in the great war against vampires. A small city-state protected by a massive wall of light has become one of the last strongholds of the human race -its leaders determined to regain control over the world they have lost. But within the oppressive city walls, young Momo dreams of a peaceful coexistence with humans' greatest foe. On the other side, vampire queen Fine, who once loved a human, has decided to desert the battlefield. Seen as betrayers by their own kind, the two have a fateful encounter during yet another savage battle. Together they start a journey in search of "Eden," a utopic garden of peace that old stories are whispering about, but no-one has ever seen...

I would write a love letter to this one if I could--I might honestly write a poem on it (ETA: I did!!! It’s over on my creative blog @revenantghostcreates​). I’ve seen this “show” (it’s really a movie in five episodes) called literary, and I’d have to agree. It’s a beautiful and tragic look at the other, and the struggle to survive in such a hostile world that viciously and voilently enforces the norm. It centers around a (unsubtly queer-coded) woman and girl trying to find happiness and light in an ink-black world. Though both main characters are undeniably wlw, it’s less of a romance than a mentorship and a friendship that develops between them and drives them to keep treading on despite and because of their grief. It was incredibly cathartic and beautiful and I’ll be sitting with this one for a long time to come.

#Anime #Deaimon #Estab-Life #Estab Life #Establishment in Life #YuuYame #Yuusha Yamemasu #I'm Quitting Heroing #Shokei Shoujo no Virgin Road #Shokei Shoujo #The Executioner and Her Way of Life #Spy x Family #SpyXFamily #SXF #Vampire in the Garden #Rev Watches Anime

[animemakeblog]

“Estab-Life: Revengers Road” The TV and Teaser

A trailer for the previously mentioned feature-length movie in the Estab-Life multimedia undertaking In Japan, the movie is scheduled to debut in 2023.

#estab life #revengers road #establishment in life #alga #equa #ferres #martese #ulla #anime #anime news

[ruporas]

kiss of the divine

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #ruporas art #i will always love u vol 8… Obviously i was a vw lover even thru stampede alone but i think this chapter #really set it in stone for me 😭 aughhh wolfwood pleading to god and vash answers - that allll transpiring after wolfwood risked his life #to go Save vash in the first place - he fears death twice as much as anyone else. he is all the reason i need to fight #LIKEEEEE 🥲🥲🥲🥲 I drew this because i wanted them to kiss in my fucked up idealized world but truly canon did crazy work #in establishing their undeniable mutual trust and love already

[egophiliac]

the Stitch crossover so far is just pure chaos and honestly, that tracks.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #lost in the book with stitch #i have never in my life drawn stitch before the event announcement #so uhhhh yeah i'm trying my best :') #love that yuu and grim are canonically getting matching outfits now #especially magic sticky clothes #man they could've just made it a barrier or something but nope #we're going to have a whole scene to establish that they can't just merperson their way out of this one because...their pants won't come of #incredible. twst really going the extra mile. #welcome to pants-stay-on island where pants are ENFORCED

[mumblesplash]

gem, what happened to your eye?

(wanted to upload this panel separately, original is from this comic)

#my art #geminitay #secret life #icr exactly when but there was this moment earlier in the series #where someone asked gem what was up with her eye (because her skin had one green eye and one yellow eye) #and her response was smth like 'i'm yellow now!' #and i was like wait that's SO GOOD #bc there's an established tradition of ccs changing their skins to match the color of their current life #so the person (scott i think?) was obviously asking about the eye that was still *green* #but her answering that way implies she took the question to mean 'why did your eye color change' #because /the other one isn't her eye/

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

It’s not that Jason forgot, per se.

But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place that’s also child friendly… well, it kind of slipped his mind that he’s supposed to be… dead.

Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne

#look I’ve found a new fave trope and it’s Brucie Wayne having to keep up his act while internally LOSING HIS SHIT #Jason isn’t very into the whole revenge thing here #his mind is 85 parts ‘keep Dami safe’ 5 parts ‘kill joker asap’ and 10 parts ‘avoid bats at any cost’ #Jason doesn’t know who Damian’s father is #dealer’s choice if Jason establishes himself as Dami’s dad or older brother #his build certainly makes him look old enough #if you don’t look at his baby face lol #Jason runs into Brucie and goes straight into survival mode #Damian who is very observant for a toddler immediately clocks Brucie as THREAT based on Jason’s reaction #Brucie blue screens and desperately tries not to lose Jason in the crowd #jason is absolutely trying to lose Brucie in the crowd #while clutching Damian like his life depends on it #for all he knows it does #the visceral terror that your pseudo dad will take away your little brother/baby #Bruce who just wants to know if he’s hallucinating again: W A I T #jason who is terrified of being put in Arkham for killing people: no FUCKING WAY #hm maybe Jason plays the ‘I’m not Jason’ game again #it’s not gonna hold for long #but Bruce absolutely thinks that Damian is Jason’s bio child for a while and he’s on the WARPATH #Jason was sixteen when he died and never showed any interest in dating so literally every red flag is waving in brucie’s mind simultaneousl #or maybe Jason manages to get away and all Brucie is left with is the memory of his supposedly dead son #running away from him #and clutching a tiny kid #prompts #jason todd #batfamily #Damian wayne #batdad #brucie wayne

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i think it would be funny if people occasionally arose from the dead. like if that was a real-life one-in-a-million but well-documented Thing That Sometimes Happens, and the entire legal system around death (laws on inheritance & marriage & murder etc) had to include caveats for the unlikely-but-scientifically-possible event that the dead person in question might spontaneously self-resurrect, even years or decades after death. it would raise so many inconvenient and absurd possibilities

#imagine the legal system in that timeline #property laws and inheritance laws and bigamy laws--what happens if your spouse resurrects 10 years after they die? #think how AWKWARD that would be #what happens if you inherit from someone who comes back do you have to give the inheritance back? what if u used it to buy stuff? #does the jetski u bought with the money your grandpa left u 15 years ago in college now belong to grandpa? #or is there a statute of limitations? #if the guy you got convicted of murdering returns from the dead does your conviction get changed from murder to grievous harm? #how is the grievousness of the harm measured? in the number of years the guy spent as a corpse? #what if you spend 20 years in prison and the victim comes back to life and it turns out grievous harm would have landed you only 5ish years #do you get reimbursed for the extra 15 years u spent in prison? #what is the legal process for proving you have come back to life? #what are the minimum legal requirements for establishing a revenant's identity? #does it become regulation to make fingerprint/dental records of every single person who dies just on the off chance one of them comes back? #what happens if it's someone from like 300 years ago? #the world has changed and everyone they know is dead. is there a social services department that can help with that? #there would be a whole branch of counseling services for people who have reanimated or had a loved one reanimate #grief 2.0 counselors

[lover-of-mine]

"Buck is attached to this symbolism of couches being related to relationships, and that's not something that's actually going away anytime soon."

#911 #911 fox #911 on fox #911edit #buddieedit #buddie #evanbuckleyedit #my edit #otp: you don't need to pretend with me #look im the first to admit im reaching at any point in time #but COME ON #you cant establish the couch as a metaphor and just do stuff like this and expect me to just be normal about it #you have him run to eddie then just throw himself on eddies couch and fall asleep in seconds and just expect me to move on with my life #i am going absolutely feral #1k #2k #3k #4k #evan buckley

[elation-station]

the town bisexuals are at your door it is time for you to pick a bride

#ngl lads i am not happy with this one lmfao #been going thru it so just a doodle #anyway so these are just design ideas #penny is this mousey little woman i see as actually kinda tallish but the kind of tall person who does everything to not appear so #maru is just hot tbh she my engineer wife #really tried something with her face and hope it doesnt look horrible #leah is tall as well and you know shes ripped under that shirt #she'll carry you over the threshold and paint your ceiling like the sistine chapel and dedicate it to you #i am not happyy with how haley came ouuttt she deserves better #like i couldve drawn her beautiful hair good but instead i just didnt. whatver #emily still the love of my life its been established #i cant see abigail as a romantic option ngl i perceive her as an impish quasi teenager who likes getting in trouble #i would be her parent figure and give her life advice and bring her to the mines to fight monsters together #anyway peace #sdv #stardew valley #abigail sdv #emily sdv #haley sdv #leah sdv #maru sdv #penny sdv #stardew valley bachelorettes #art by op

[hitlikehammers]

bring him home

rating: t ♥️ cw: Eddie in the Upside Down,; Steve on what he thinks is a retrieval mission for his body (it's not); Eddie Munson Lives; Kas!Eddie (ish) ♥️ tags: established relationship, secret pre-S4 relationship, post-S4, presumed dead (Eddie), mourning and heartbreak (Steve), happy ending (because Eddie is alive, ofc), soul-deep love

for @steddielovemonth day twenty-four: Love is the only thing we can take with us (@thefreakandthehair)

oh hey look, another day I didn't intend to write at all ♥️ but then @pearynice was intrigued by a stray half-baked idea and I struggle to not at least try to provide content in such instances ♥️

He’s only thought it since, since, but he’s actually kind of grateful no one knew. That no one could even have guessed. They’re on eggshells around him enough as it is, thinking it’s the loss, finally, that he couldn’t walk them back from, couldn’t recover them allfrom safe if not wholly sound. They think he’s dealing with survivor’s guilt or just the general blow of a failure so immense, maybe long overdue: and that’s probably part of it.

But only because it’s part of the bigger thing. The real loss.

They would have been together nearly ten fucking months, y’know; the better part of a whole goddamn year since that day at the mall, eyes catching and something just…clicking. Like the barest whisper breathing this could be something into the universe for them to catch if they wanted, and for all that’s still good in the world they both wanted, beyond any kind of logic they both fucking reached.

And Steve knows he’s worrying everyone, knows Joyce cooks for him because she’s sacred for him, knows Claudia bakes for the very same reason; he knows Robin’s gone back to biting her nails over him, and he hates that, he hates it but, like: Steve feels like he left his soul in that hellscape with the man he’d wrapped up in it; knows he left his heart there, because he gave it to that same man ages ago and never ever considered taking it back—and he’s kind of just a, a shell, now, and it’s good that they all think Steve’s just fucked up over the lost, over-inflated savior complex, Rob had muttered more than once and sure, fine—let them think that’s all it is.

It means he can plan without interference.

It means he can drive to the last oozing rift in the world with axes he found in the garage, a crowbar he grabbed at The War Zone—which he knows because he found a receipt, not because he can remember going, driving, paying; he fucking can’t—a fucking tire lift that he things is better suited to trucks than his Beemer but that’s why he needs it: he need to rip open the earth beneath his feet because maybe his heart died down there with the boy he loves in ways he didn’t know he could, not until he found those reserves of feeling inside him well up for the fact of him and maybe it’s too later for his heart, and maybe his soul’s locked in as a funeral shroud but godadmn it all—

Steve needs to bring Eddie’s body home.

Dropping through he fissure in the ground is second nature, like something calling him through the break and that feel right, because the Upside Down for what it is alone is somewhere Steve never wants to be, never wants to touch: but what it holds now what it stole from him and claimed and kept: Steve wants that back beside him, it doesn’t matter how. Cold, torn, broken, gone—Steve’s already those things himself. Now he’s just a raw nerve, but if that nerve could go numb, could freeze for so much pain, so much abuse and hurt. He feels more for the knowledge of how much things should destroy him; he thinks his body is more of an echo chamber, a void that moves but isn’t…there anymore.

Is here, because he left the best of him, the whole of him here, and he—it creaks in his knees when he hits the ground on the other side, shoots up his spine from the bones of him on contact; it should hurt, it should hurt but he can’t feel so much, and he needs to get his bearings, needs to orient, needs to figure where he is and the quickest way to Forest Hills, to where Eddie—

He can’t feel shit when he’s got a purpose, here: the first he’s had in weeks.

He moves to stand, gets to his feet at—

It’s unexpected, how much he feels the impact that knocks him back down, the weight that pushes him to the ground again and covers him, snarls at him, breathes hot and violent against his jaw, against his neck, and Steve—

Steve’ll die here, that’s clear from the hiss above him, the way he’s pinned like prey, like a meal, and the only thought he really has, in all honesty, is he’ll die here.

But he already died here, so it just feels kinda anticlimactic.

The panting against him keeps up, but it…it doesn’t go anywhere, it doesn’t become other, or more—there’s no teeth, no clawing or biting or ripping him apart, draining him dry. He doesn’t think he was afraid for any of it, exactly; his heart’s pounding but it feels distant, other and something far from him, disconnected: not a part of his shell-self, so he thinks that’s just ingrained, just an automatic response to a demo-something, probably, sizing up its meal but like, it’s not doing anything and Steve, Steve doesn’t…he’s not invested, exactly, he doesn’t even think he cares, but—

He squints his eyes open the barest crack where he’d instinctively squeezed them shut and he looks, expects the toothy petals, or even a veiny body; he looks and—

“Eddie?”

Oh, good. Heart, soul: may as well add losing his fucking mind to this place, too, third time’s a goddamn charm.

Because it’s not Eddie, it can’t be…it can’t be Eddie, and—

Not-Eddie leans into him, presses onto him full-bodied, hips to chest, thighs spread to hold him down like he’s going anywhere because, because…

Steve feels that. He feels the pressure, he feels pain where this body drags against scrapes in Steve’s skin, he feels his heart pounding, Jesus fucking Christ, that fucking hurts, but he looks at the face that’s looming over him, tipped to the side like it’s asking a question, like it’s considering Steve below, and it: the bones are sharper, the skin more pale, more drawn up tight and pulled—the eyes are red, bright like when the lighting cuts the sky, here, but everything else…

“Eddie, oh god,” Steve doesn’t want to question it, Steve doesn’t want to keep his mind if the alternative is moments with some version of Eddie whose breath he can feel again, it’s, he’s;

“Eds,” he chokes, and Eddie’s got him wholly pinned down, he can’t reach for Eddie’s face to cup it, to cradle it, so he lets his breath catch, his lungs hitch, lets the tears burn on their way from his eyes in streams as he twitches his fingers, stretches the tips to brush Eddie’s palm where he holds Steve down and—

Eddie stills, and his eyes narrow, and…

And if Steve has to die here, again: let it be at Eddie’s hands. Let it be maybe for Eddie’s…benefit, he’s wellbeing, however he survives here. Let it be for Eddie.

Always for Eddie.

But then Eddie: Eddie doesn’t let him up, still lean into Steve from the middle, but—he buries his head at Steve’s neck, and breathes in so deep, Steve gets to close his eyes and soak in the feeling of his chest rising into Steve’s own: strong.

Real.

“Known,” Eddie murmurs, shakes his head like he’s trying to shoo a fly, but then a shiver trembles through the whole of him, Steve can trace its trajectory where Eddie’s held against him, and then Eddie growls—it’s not a wholly new sound but it’s deeper, more animal in it than Steve’s ever heard and then he bites out through bared teeth: “Known.”

Then he draws back from Steve’s neck, studies him shrewdly, a little hesitant, like he’s unsure of whatever’s happening to him, in him: then he nods, chews at his lower lip in a painfully familiar move before his hands leave Steve’s wrists and he’s—

“Known.”

He’s tracing Steve’s cheekbones, the line of his jaw; he’s running his nose against the slope of Steve’s, he’s…it’s like he’s tracing him, and he does it so gentle, he almost like he anticipates it, he’s—

“Known,” and Eddie’s fucking…it’s not a growl this time but somehow whatever it is, is deeper, stronger, and he mouths at Steve’s neck again but instead of breathing him in, he’s sucking at the lines of his arteries down the sides, up and down, and then he follows the blood to the sounds, groans at a pitch Steve’s never heard before but it’s still, it’s sill Eddie, and—

“Hurt?” Eddie mouths at his chest through the layers of his clothes, sounds mournful, stills as he considers something, intent with it before his head pops up, those red eyes so wide and aching as his hands tap against Steve’s arms, frantic and—

Oh.

Oh; they’re tapping out Steve’s heartbeats to every racing clench-give echoing through his ribs and Eddie moans, almost wails, then—

“Hurt,” and he looks frantic, his eyes wild, and his mouth dropped open, bereft and seeking and oh, oh: Eddie thinks his heart’s pounding because he’s hurt, because he’s in pain and kinda, a little bit but not like that and—

“No,” Steve’s quick to try and soothe, even if his voice is barely a rasp; “no, no,” and his wrists are free to he reaches, covers Eddie’s hands and links their fingers together, feels something in him reanimate, come straight back into being just for that touch, and that it’s warm:

“Happy,” Steve gasps, and squeezes Eddie’s hands with force, with feeling; “happy, to see you,” and he closes his eyes in something like relief when Eddie’s mouth stills against his chest again; sighs when Eddie nuzzles there, like he always did, like he belongs because he always belongs.

“So fucking happy,” Steve breathes, and he feels weightless; wonders if he died. If he hit the ground and snapped his neck. If the impact was a monster and not the love of his life, somehow saved from ruin just to save Steve back in kind.

“Mine,” Eddie whispers, a little bit of a hiss for the feeling in it, the intensity sewn in as he mouths around the beat of Steve’s blood: that’s what he means. That’s his, that and everything it powers, everything it lends life.

His.

He pulls back, and Steve bites back a whimper for the loss before Eddie’s eyes find his and he looks…he looks lost, then, grasping, in need as he almost begs, like the answer is the end of all things:

“Mine?”

He lifts one of their joined hands—he doesn’t disentangle them, and fuck if Steve’s ever letting go—but he lifts them to Steve’s chest and holds there, presses down and looks pointedly at the way his palm covers Steve’s heart, looks up in askance, up and down, there and back over and again, more desperate every time and Steve tightens his fingers around Eddie’s and nods, just nods because his voice is gone, his throat’s too tight, he’s—

But Eddie sees it. Eddie understands because Eddie…

Eddie always understands what Steve can’t say.

“Mine,” he exhales like it’s the answer to the universe, like it’s proof of god and the devil, like it’s more than air to breathe and Steve’s…

Steve doesn’t even know what he is. Except: he’s alive.

He died before he left here last time, and now somehow he’s alive. “Known, s’known,” Eddie mutters, shakes his head slow and pins his gaze on different parts go Steve’s body, touches and looks up to Steve like it serves as confirmation just to meet his gaze, to watch him blink; “know, know,” and Eddie bends again, mouths at his chest and inhales sharp as he rips out, almost feral: “mine,” and then something in him gives, and he falls to Steve’s chest and Steve’s heart skips, the terror in him tangible, but he throws out his hands, lets Eddie’s grasp go to hold Eddie up and Eddie panting, gasping, something has to be wrong—

“St,” Eddie’s voice is sandpaper rough, but…but full somehow and Steve can’t name what it is, save that it makes him feel warm, from the inside, in a way he’d thought was gone forever. It prickles at his eyes and he doesn’t fight the tears:

“Ste,” Eddie coughs a little, and then he looks up, brow furrowed and muscles tight as he locks his eyes on Steve’s and grits out:

“Steve?”

And those eyes: those eyes meet Steve’s now—color in them, that depthless nightshade, drenched in that deep warm chocolate shade: Steve’s breath catches. His heartbeat skips again, but wholly different, and it looks, it feels like a weight’s been lifted; a spell’s been broken. And somehow, somehow even before anything shifted, somehow Eddie, his Eddie, he—

Whatever’s happened, whatever’s been done to him: somehow, deeper than any of it, he kept the love.

“Steve.”

Eddie’s voice shakes and he drops his weight again but this time when he presses against Steve it’s to wrap him close, to hold him a little clumsy, a whole lot desperate, and it…it feels like maybe Steve’s soul where it’s wrapped around Eddie? Like maybe he gets a little bit of it back; like maybe he can inhale and it could mean something again.

Eddie only draws back to tuck his head under Steve’s chin, to dip lower and put his lips to the center of Steve’s chest, to breathe there, like life into the heart of him again and fuck, but he feels it.

He kinda doesn’t need to know anything more, doesn’t need to have any more answers to know whatever this is, whatever Eddie needs: they’ll figure it out. Eddie’s lips are on his chest. His heart’s a mallet against Eddie’s mouth, beats up into the warm rush of his breath: there. Real.

Steve feels it.

also on ao3 🖤

tag list (comment to be added): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson

♥️

divider credit here

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #hurt/comfort #established relationship #kas!eddie #established steddie #pre-S4 relationship #presumed dead #(but obviously NOT) #happy ending #steve mounts a one-man rescue/retrieval mission because he's heartbroken #eddie recognizes the love of his life because in light of everything he HELD ONTO THAT LOVE #steddielovemonth #love is the only thing we can take with us #stranger things

[imaybe5tupid]

Why bother? (Why bother?) It's gonna hurt me. (It's gonna hurt me.) It's gonna kill when- (Why bother!) -You desert me! (Gonna hurt me!)

Set after Nightmare. Laios is reminiscing and contemplating.

#laishuro #laios touden #i make a lot of jokes on here since part of the fun of this blog for me is limiting myself to only expressing ideas via drawings #as much as I can to try to see what I can try to convey in the limited time I have to draw each day which is sometimes like 15minutes #but laios idea of who shuro was to him and who he continues to be and how it ties into his own feelings of self worth and self hatred #not to mention being so thoroughly defined by having never been indulged before by the men in his life #are so compelling to me #and then of course you mix in toshiros own mind prisons #and their established dynamic of him begrudgingly putting up with him because he feels he has to and bc hes cursed with obedience #whilst laios genuinely thinks shuro does it because he likes it and likes laios because why else would anyone act like that #when everyone else in his life has not hesitated to Let Him Know #this is what is so fun about relationships like this…forever passing by each other’s true feelings like ships in the night #and on toshiros side umineko said it best People are riddles. They want someone else to solve their riddle #they live life wanting someone to solve the riddle that they are #the most difficult riddle in the world #without love the truth cannot be seen sighhhh many such cases #sometimes i get embarassed how deep i get for some of the characters in this series it really is that deep sometimes but not always #but WHATEVER #i never even engaged in or was interested in shipping the several years i read dunmeshi EXCEPT laishuro lol #which i sadistically wanted to stay one sided and miserable forever. I rarely get fed such genuinely fraught dynamics as their one in manga #so i became obsessed #and walked through the desert alone for 40 years and then checked in as anime started airing that other people ship this and gaf #and decided to unleash the jokes and ideas that my like 2 friend who like anime previously suffered alone as though they were jesus christ #now tho as much as I still enjoy tragedy and pain and emotional suffering I’ve let love and peace and requited fulfilled yaoi into my life #with laishuro. and its great! #my comics

[revenantghost]

YOOOOO, CONGRATS TO THAT OLD YAKUZA DUDE ON HIS TRANSITION!!!

#Estab-Life #Estab Life #Establishment in Life #Establife #I love this anime

[archersartcorner]

I think the Bad Kids deserve to cry a lil. As a treat. IT’S CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!

#my art #described #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high: junior year #the bad kids #ima be tbh. I did mostly just wanna draw Gorgug crying WJDBDJSB #I hope we get any kind of acknowledgement about what Gorgug saw in the forest… I’d love to see a scene where he asks digby & wilma about it #ALSO I LOOOVVVEEE THAT THEIR PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM BCUS THEY ARE A SET. DO NOT SEPARATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #also. hope that the time thing Brennan mentioned is an actual plot point and not just A Convenient Retcon Function #like pls brennan… I respect ur storytelling so much I do. if I wanted retcon excuses I’d go back to TES and read about the dragon breaks #especially since like. I love the seven so much. I’ve joked before like. t7 is frankly FHJY for me. we can skip right to sen. year JY is T7! #so if hes walking stuff back esp stuff that was established in T7… idk im not gonna be like. mad. I have a Life lmao. but maybe a lil sadge. #ANYWAY zac once again making one of my fave PCs. gorgug is so sweet guy… #also hope we get to see the artificing class & teacher!

[flowercrowngods]

felt like letting mike and steve work through some shit again

cw: descriptions and imagery of them being lost and self-sacrificing, left alone with trauma they have no means to work through, could read as suicidal tendencies or intrusive thoughts

🤍 also on ao3

“What do you want?” Mike asks when Steve sits down beside him, gravel crunching, their feet dangling over the dark and endless abyss that is the quarry at night.

Steve doesn’t answer right away, doesn’t really know what to say now that he’s here, now that he found him. He looks so small, now more than ever, and it reminds Steve so painfully that he’s still just a child. He was always just a child, and children shouldn’t—

It feels like they got their rights at a childhood revoked years ago, and then they were just… supposed to be okay with it. It was expected, it was implied when nobody came to talk to them after.

When all they got was one NDA after another. When none of the professionally trained adults took one look at the children that they were, and asked, Are you okay? What do you need to be okay? I will talk to you once a week and make sure you learn how to be okay again.

Steve feels like a big brother to most of the kids now, sure, but he’s not their shrink, and he sucks when it comes to actually talking about shit. He can be there to drive them anywhere, can provide an evening of distractions and as much of a sanctuary as a house as haunted as his can be.

With everything else, though, he’s helplessly lost. So he says nothing, weighs his words to make sure they come out right — especially for Mike, who’s always just waiting for him to say something wrong and throw it back in his face with the sunny disposition of a feral, rabid cat.

“Hey,” Mike says then, irritated again; but his voice is hoarse, too. Tired. No heat behind it after that stupid fight with Dustin and Lucas earlier tonight that made him snap and leave Steve’s house in a frenzy. “I said, What do you want?”

Steve shrugs, looking ahead into the darkness that feels endless and alluring and deeply terrifying.

I miss my friend! My best friend, Mike!

“Making sure you’re okay.”

You’ve changed, you know that? You’re not the guy who would jump off a cliff for me anymore, I don’t think I even know you anymore!

Dustin’s voice echoes in Steve’s mind as it undoubtedly does in Mike’s, too, and he can only imagine how much that hurts, especially if he’s shivering like that even though the night is warm for early September.

“I’m okay,” Mike says, sounding endlessly annoyed about the fact. Steve almost huffs out a humourless laugh. Yeah, right.

“Sure you are,” Steve says, keeping his tone carefully neutral.

He shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over Mike’s shoulders without a comment, half-expecting him to just throw it into the darkness below. But Mike doesn’t move, is eerily still beside him, pretending not to notice that Steve’s watching him.

“But you know it’s, like,” he starts again and trails off, looking for the right words because this is unfamiliar terrain and the ground beneath his feet is quite literally nonexistent. “It’s fine if you’re not, right? It’s actually really fucking normal to be more than a little fucked up after everything, all that crazy shit. Or just… in general.”

You were twelve, he wants to say. You were twelve and you jumped off from here. You were twelve and you were going to die. And not because of those monsters, not yet. Just because… you were twelve.

Mike doesn’t say anything, but the gravel crunches once more as he reaches for a handful of stones to throw them into the darkness one by one, the void beneath them so enormous that they don’t even hear the noise of impact.

You jumped.

The longer Mike remains silent, the more Steve wants to scream, wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, wants to make him see and understand that Steve knows about the scars a decision like that leaves, especially when you live to deal with the consequences.

He gets seizures to deal with the consequences. His ear is fucky, his eye is twitchy, his head is aching constantly, he gets migraines that knock him out for a day or two, all because he wanted to protect his friends. All because he did protect his friends. It worked. They’re safe.

But they’re also unaware of… of everything. Of the horrible stillness as clarity dawns and all signs point to the one way that always seems to work. The one easy way out, and still the hardest of them all when the plan goes wrong and he makes it out alive. When It’s gotta be me is the only thing to say, but later turns into an angry It never should have been me because the world looks different when it’s smeared with your blood.

And it’s always the lost boys who make decisions like that. Steve wonders, some nights in cold sweat, what happens if he makes these decisions without immediate danger. What happens if he just… decides to jump. Decides to run. To give the world more of his blood. Without saving anyone.

It’s not like he wants to — but he’s terrified that it’s just who he is. Who he’s turned into, terrified that his friends will forever expect him to.

And he’s even more terrified knowing that Mike jumped before he learned about monsters. Before he learned about fighting and surviving.

You were a kid, he wants to say again, but his throat is closing up on him.

“I don’t think that’s okay actually,” Mike says after a while, tearing Steve away from his fears. They’re still both looking ahead rather than at each other, but it’s fine. They’re still here. “Like, people say it is, but it feels so empty when they do, you know? Like, sure, yeah, I’m not fucking okay, but what the hell do we do about that now? Oh, right, I know! Let’s throw it in my face that I’m not good enough for you anymore now that there’s no monsters to kill anymore. Now that I’m just Mike, who’s not even enough to be that anymore, sure. Right. Yeah. Let’s pretend it’s all fine, Steve, let’s pretend it’s okay to hurt all the fucking time!”

Mike is shaking now, violent tremors running through his body, and Steve’s first instinct is to reach out and pull him close, to keep him from that edge and take him to his car; turn on the heating and talk there. But Mike seems to need the darkness, seems to need to be faced with endless depth to give voice to his thoughts.

“What Dustin said was messed up. He shouldn’t have said that.”

Mike shrugs, throwing more pebbles into the darkness, though his motions have lost their vigour. “He’s right, though.”

Steve sighs, though not unkindly. “No, he’s not. Hey, listen to me.” He waits until Mike turns to meet his eyes, and he leans forward. “It’s not okay. It’s not right what he said. You don’t deserve to have that shit thrown in your face just because Dustin is a tactless little douche bag.”

Taking a bullet for someone is not the baseline for friendship, he wants to say, and it occurs to him once again how fucked up their perception and idea of friendship must be, now that they’ve all bonded over the most horrific shit and actual grief they never learned how to work through.

It’s not even Dustin’s fault, not really. They’re all just collateral damage to something Bigger, and all they have is each other, leaving them in a vicious cycle that is so, so fucked up.

“Why’d you jump?” he asks eventually, quiet in case the darkness tries to listen in. “Back then, why did you jump?” And do you wish El had let you? Do you sometimes wish that? When your room is quiet and it’s only you living with all those silent, terrible decisions?

Mike shrugs again, but there’s not much fight left in him, Steve can see that, can feel it in the air between them.

“Will was gone,” he says like it explains everything— and it sort of does. Steve has seen the way these boys look at each other when the other’s not looking, he has seen the hurt and the anger and the gentleness stored there, the words unspoken and the fear that, despite interdimensional monsters, kinda goes unmatched.

Because they have each other. They only have each other. And if someone’s suddenly different than what they thought they knew, if someone’s suddenly different, then… Everything might just fall apart.

And Steve wants to grab him again; wants to pull him close and say, I’m the same. We have the same scars. We have the same!

Slowly, carefully, he does lean over now, weaving an arm around Mike’s shoulders and pulling him into his side.

“I get that.”

Mike swallows heavily and exhales shakily. “I don’t think you do.”

“No. I think I really, really do. But it’s okay, Mike. You won’t be alone with this, okay. I’m on your side, you little shit.”

A pause, a beat, a moment’s respite. Then, “Why?”

“Because,” his heart is racing, his mouth trembling around forming the words for the first time, but he knows it’s the right thing to do. Knows it’s important.

Knows it might just save a life.

“Because I fell harder for Eddie Munson than I ever thought possible, and once i found out what was happening, I kind of wanted to jump off a cliff, too. But I didn’t, because I had someone with the same fears as me, and instead of stupid shit we just… Cried together sometimes. Screamed into our pillows. Laughed with and at each other, calling ourselves hopeless, and— I don’t know. It’s really fucking scary, and that doesn’t go away just because you have someone to talk to. But it‘s… better. It’s so much better.”

He huffs, swallowing around the lump in his throat, smiling into the darkness.

“So I’ve got you, okay? Whatever it is, whatever makes you feel like it’s not fucking okay, I’ve got you. You come to me, yeah? Lucas does, Dustin does, even Max does. This is your official, standing invitation and whatever, okay, dickhead?”

Mike shoves at him lightly, still not parting from the rather awkward side-hug they’ve got going on, and Steve is glad for it.

“Okay, okay, geez,” the little shithead says, rolling his eyes which Steve can see even in the dark, and it feels like the edge has moved away from them, like they have solid ground beneath their feet again.

Steve doesn’t say anything more after that, just waiting for Mike to stir to lead him back to the car, load in his bike and take him wherever he feels like spending the night.

But Mike doesn’t move for another long while, and it makes Steve feel like something big has just happened between them. Like they finally have found the common ground that Steve’s been suspecting they had for months now, even years.

Eventually, as they make their way to the car and Mike goes to grab his bike, he speaks up again, but more subdued now.

“Hey, Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“Does… Does Eddie know?”

“About what?” My tendencies to take a leap off the edge?

“You. Being…”

“Oh!” A smile as he unlocks his car and opens the back door to squeeze Mike’s old bike in there with minimal smears of dirt. “I’d hope so, we’ve been dating for months.”

“You’re dating?! You? Eddie’s dating you?”

“Yeah, listen, do you want me to just leave you here or would you rather be thrown out in the middle of nowhere?”

Mike grumbles something unintelligible as he climbs into the front seat, waiting for Steve to start the engine before he speaks up again.

“It’s just, you’re so… How did you even do that?”

Steve laughs at that, disbelieving and all, because, “Trust me, I have no idea. Must have been the ol’ Harrington charm and all that.”

Mike rolls his eyes and crosses his arms in front of his chest, sinking lower in the seats to pout. “You’re so lame.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over how much I have a boyfriend and you don’t.”

If his heart skips a beat because it still feels like a forbidden truth saying the word out loud despite the playful banter, then he’s ignoring that in favour of revving the engine.

“Asshole.”

“Dickhead.”

“Grow up,” Mike says, but Steve can see the smile he’s not even trying to hide, and he mirrors it with his own as he turns on the radio catching the final tunes of Springsteen’s Dancing in the Dark.

They’re not okay, none of them. But the car is warm, the cliff’s edge is behind them, and they’re not listening to the same ten songs anymore.

They’re getting better, step by tiny step.

#stranger things fanfic #steve & mike #steve harrington #mike wheeler #steddie #<- mentioned but established #byler #<- implied & yearning #i am projecting HARD with this one #i’m so so convinced steve and mike are directly juxtaposed in their development with very similar trauma #this probably makes sense to no one but me but alas #let them be fucked up while life continues and let them be unable to handle it #i feel like it’s all over the place but if you’ve ever had a single vulnerable conversation then you’ll know this is how they can go #dio words

[soullessjack]

supernatural went downhill when they stopped implying that the Winchesters are assumed to be a firefly-esque psychopath satan worshipping serial killer family to normal people and I stand by that

#their asses are only out of the laws hands because jody is a miracle worker and that’s the whole ass truth #cal.txt #spn #supernatural #tfw2.0 #it could’ve been even funnier with jacks inclusion bc he is canonically established to be a stupid pretty white boy #(a la ‘new guys hot’ and ‘Bieber’ and ‘suite life’ and ‘dumb Bambi look’) #twirls hair . these guys are Weirdos

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Besties at first sight

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#Poorly drawn MDZS #MDZS #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #lan wangji #nie huaisang #NHS makes his first appearance! Once of my favourite dynamics is platonic NHS and WWX so I'm thrilled to revisit these scenes #They are adhering to the fruity/outcast teed survival guide strategy #which is to lock eyes with the other fruity/outcast kid and establish a bestie moment #they will have a strong bond until the end of the summer semester and then never speak again #such is life! #If you are wondering why JC isn't in the third panel; its because he fully reverted to the wet sock he is and is on the floor out of frame #Next time: I condense several episodes of teen wangxian into a three panel format