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#even if they don't really interact that much every scene with them feels so emotional
yume127 · 2 years
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Today I was rewatching the scene where Sora and Roxas meet in DDD, and I have to say that Roxas’ expression after Sora told him that he deserves to exist kills me every time. The expression of pure shock on Roxas’ face, as he processed the fact that Sora, of all people, was telling him what no one else would. Something that he so much needed, and deserved, to hear.
It’s heartbreaking that Roxas, who had fought with all his being for his identity and for his right to exist, appeared in Sora’s dreams to tell him that “It really has to be you” and that they’re the same (“You’re me, so you can feel what I felt.”), showing that, by that point, he had given up.
But Sora told him that it wasn’t true, that Roxas is Roxas and he deserved to exist just as much as Sora did. The shocked expression on Roxas’ face says it all. No one had ever told him that. No one had ever believed that. By that point, not even Roxas believed that anymore. Sora’s words allowed him to hope again, so he smiled at Sora—a genuine smile—and told him again that that was why it had to be Sora.
Roxas had already accepted Sora, and he respected him after their fight in KH2, but I think this was the moment when he truly started to like Sora. Sora’s words gave him back some hope, and Sora didn’t just say that, but went out of his way afterwards to honour those words and make sure that Roxas could exist.
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lizzieisright · 8 months
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Tranquility
dom!reader x sub!Abby
Summary: You want to help Abby relax and show her she doesn't have to control everything, sometimes she just can let go.
Tags: dom!reader, fingering, praise, consent checks, Abby doesn't really notice she is subbing, very light and vanilla, Sylvia Plath's quotes.
wc: 3.7k
MINORS DON'T INTERACT I'll hunt you for sport 
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
You don't jump into power dynamics right away when you get together: Abby doesn't even think about it too much - she just assumes since between the two of you she is the killing machine, big strong scary Abby Anderson, she'll be in charge like she is everywhere else. And you don't seem to mind, even though you had the sex talk way prior to having actual sex (I can't bottom every time if it's something you want, you said to her, and Abby agreed: she liked topping but she could bottom just fine). 
So the thought of power dynamics doesn't come to Abby at all, until one day. 
You are too good at reading Abby's mood - for some reason you can notice even the small shift in her. It's a superpower that creeps Abby out sometimes, how you can recognise her feelings and act accordingly. You don't make a scene out of it, you don't take care of her like she is a child who can't regulate her emotions, but you're there through it all. You're not scared of her anger or her tears, always calm, and for the first time in years Abby feels like she can rely on someone. Can trust someone fully. 
And today Abby is on edge. She is tired, angry and frustrated - the plan for the next supply run isn't safe in her opinion. Abby likes her plans to be foolproof, "if you think they're smart enough think again and dumb it down" type of fool-proof. Everyone said Abby was being ridiculous about it, and maybe she was, but it doesn't make her feel any better. 
And you obviously notice it. You watch her from the couch as Abby walks around packing, huffing every two seconds in anger. 
"I saw that plan, Abby, it's good. Everything will be fine. Manageable if something goes wrong."
"Jamie is on the team, and this idiot will get us in trouble." Abby growls. "And then someone will have to clean up his mess and someone will get hurt and it will slow us down-"
"Okay. Okay, Abs, stop." You put your book away. "Come here, you need to relax." You pat your lap and Abby stares at you before laughing.
"What, you want me to sit in your lap?" Abby asks sceptically. 
"Yeah." You pat your lap again. Abby is unsure and she feels ridiculous: she is not a lap dog, she is a fucking German shepherd.
"I'm too big to sit in your lap, baby." 
"Do I look like I give a fuck?" You deadpan. "Big girls need to sit on their lover's lap too. Come here."
Abby blinks. She likes that she is big and tall - it makes her feel powerful, but it comes with a cost. She doesn't get to feel small. And you asking her to sit on your lap opens something so desperate in her she gets scared. Abby knows she won't feel small, but she wants to try anyway. Abby tentatively makes her way to you, still unsure how it will work, but you tug her lightly and she straddles you. Abby feels like she is a giant on top of you, and she doesn't really remember where to put her hands. She settles on your shoulders.
"This is awkward." Abby assesses, frowning. 
"It's not. Sit, Abby, I can feel that you're hovering. I'm not going to break, I'm not made of dust." You push at her thighs so she can spread them and finally sit. You seem pretty happy with this, hugging her by her waist and pressing her closer to you. Abby is getting used to this, but it still seems ridiculous to her. She is used to tugging you to sit on her lap, not the other way around. 
"Am I too heavy?"
"I like feeling your weight on me. Makes it feel real." You grin and stroke her back. "Really, relax. I can read to you if you want."
Abby doesn't really know what to do. She has no arguments against you, and your lap is very comfortable. As well as being this close to you, feeling your body, your breathing, your warmth. 
"Yeah, okay. We can do that."
Abby does what you usually do when she reads: she puts her head on your shoulder and lets you snake your arms around her. 
"Good." You comment and hold the book with one hand while you stroke Abby's back with the other one. 
You are warm and your smell is comforting, so Abby puts her nose into the crook of your neck and breathes in.
"Yeah. Breathe. Deep big breaths." You say offhandedly as you look through the pages. It's weird. Abby feels safe and taken care of and it feels good, but it is too unfamiliar to be comfortable with it. 
"Would it be too childish of me to say: I want? But I do want: theater, light, color, paintings, wine and wonder. Yet not all these can do more than try to lure the soul from its den where it sulks in busy heaps of filth and obstinate clods of bloody pulp. I must find a core of fruitful seeds in me. I must stop identifying with the seasons, because this English winter will be the death of me-" You've read out loud and Abby suddenly resonates with the first line. Would it be too childish of her to say: she wants your care? 
"What is this?"
"Sylvia Plath's diaries."
"She sounds dramatic." Abby murmurs into your neck while you are caressing her back. Fuck it feels so good. She is so safe. 
"Bitch is all over the place sometimes. But she is a poet."
You kiss Abby's head and she leans into your touch, surprising herself. She isn't usually… needy, but right now something is different. The sudden safety of your arms around her, your calm voice and familiar smell makes Abby feel dangerously vulnerable. 
"You feel pretty relaxed." You notice as you now stroking her head, putting all annoying baby hairs behind her ear. 
"Yeah. It's so weird though."
You chuckle.
"In what way?"
"Usually it's you who sits in my lap. But this is good. Just weird."
"I think the word you're looking for is unfamiliar."
"Are you a thesaurus?" 
You laugh and kiss her forehead. Abby nuzzles her nose into your neck and your breath hitches. 
You know Abby doesn't mean to get you horny with her breathing, but you are getting horny. 
"Come here." You tell her and Abby lifts her head just enough for you to kiss her. She is warm and welcoming, doesn't rush anywhere and you are not rushing either, just enjoying the kiss. Abby relaxes into you and it surprises both of you - she isn't a person who gives up control easily. Hell, the whole thing started because Abby couldn't deal with people not doing everything like she told them to. But you feel how she puts more weight on you and you buck your hips into her. 
"Okay yeah. Still weird, but good." Abby pants into your mouth. You dig your fingers into her ass and press her into your crotch. "Oh fuck."
"Wanna make you cum." You say, panting yourself as arousal takes the hold of you. "What do you think?"
Abby looks at you with a lifted brow. 
"You think I'm going to say no?"
"Well." You kiss her jaw. "I don't plan on letting you do anything at all, so, maybe take a moment to think about it."
Abby stares at you as your words settle in. She will what, just lie there and do nothing? It sounds wrong, it sounds like she is going to be out of control, but also…
Also it sounds like the sweetest sin she could commit. 
"If you're not sure, we can stop. Like, fully. Or at any point you want to." You stroke her cheeks with your thumbs as you watch Abby. You know she is apprehensive about this idea, but you want her to relax fully and forget about everything. And you know you can give it to her if she just says yes. 
"Yeah. Yeah, okay. We can do that." Abby smiles bashfully and you kiss her, so fucking grateful for how brave she is. 
It's one thing to stare death in her face and win, and the other thing to stare in your lover's face and decide to trust them completely. And any other day Abby would have chosen death, but with you the danger can't get safer than this. 
So Abby lets herself relax into you again and just enjoy your touch. 
"Thanks." 
Abby chuckles, but it turns into a gasp as you move your lips down her neck while your hands are tugging on her shirt. Abby helps you take the shirt and the bra off, and you just caress her sides, looking over her. 
Abby knows you like how she looks, but having your attention like this makes her nervous. Your eyes are so dark with hunger Abby wants to look away but she doesn't, as sudden greed for your love washes over her. You look at her like you want to devour her. 
"Pretty." You sigh as you smile. "You're so pretty, Abs."
"I don't think pretty is the right word."
"Beautiful?"
Abby huffs but can't help her smile.
"Gorgeous?"
"Stop it." Abby says, playfully stern. "You're so sappy, god."
You grin and kiss her again, shutting her up - if you say she is pretty, she is, and whatever Abby thinks of herself is totally irrelevant. Your lips make a trail from her neck to her shoulder and you gently kiss her freckles, listening to Abby's breathing closely: it gets heavier as you move your kisses down, and these small sighs are the greatest encouragement you can get. 
You slowly move one of your hands up and cup Abby's tit, kneading her doughy flesh as she gasps. 
"Feels nice?"
"Yeah." Abby murmurs and runs her hand over your hair. It's still hard to let go so she tries to occupy herself in some way. She gently massages your neck and you kiss her just above her nipple. "Yeah, this is nice."
"Good. Let's take your pants off, I need them out of the way."
Your intonation makes Abby throb in her pants - it sounds so commanding and for once in her life she doesn't want to fight it, no, she wants to obey - it's easy with you. Safe. 
Abby stands from your lap and you help her take her pants and underwear off, making a small pile on the floor. Abby reaches to tug your shirt off, but you gently push her hands away. 
"Relax, baby. Don't worry about anything, okay?" You tug her back into your lap and sigh so happily when you touch her bare skin. "Your job right now is just to be pretty. Can you do that?"
Abby is conflicted: you don't sound patronising, but it should sound patronising, shouldn't it? She stops for a second to understand her reaction and you just watch her. You know Abby needs some time to process what is happening, so you continue caressing her back and her pretty ass that makes you drool while Abby figures out how she feels about your new behaviour. 
"Well I can try." Abby shrugs and you smile. 
"Thanks. I wanna call you princess, you know?" You kiss her neck and leave a hickey on her collarbone. 
"Call me what?" Abby laughs in the middle of her gasp at how ridiculous it sounds, but it's not a bad laugh. It's just embarrassing. "I'm no princess, (y/n)."
"Would you actually mind if I called you that?" You kiss her breastbone and Abby watches you. 
"Don't think so." Abby pants and looks at you impatiently as you finally move your lips to her tits. 
"Princess." You murmur and look into her eyes while her cheeks become bright red. "My pretty princess." You suck on her nipple gently and Abby gasps, squeezing your shoulders. The pet name turns her on - a lot of things turn her on right now even though they're weird and embarrassing.
You play with her other nipple and Abby presses closer to you, so you let your restraints go and use all your strength to move her closer to the point where her back is arched. Abby sighs, surprised - obviously Abby knows you are strong (not as strong as her, but strong nonetheless), but she never actually experienced it. Maybe you can make her feel small. Maybe you can make her feel like no one else could before. 
You slowly move your hands up Abby’s muscular thighs, caressing every line with your fingertips - Abby is too hot for her own good, and the hungry monster that lives inside you claws at your chest, desperate to have its way with Abby and make her forget her fucking name, but you’re patient. You would never push Abby into something she isn’t ready for, especially in sex, but you want to show her an alternative. Show that she can let herself forget her fucking name and it will be safe. Because god knows Abby needs it.
Abby watches your hands in anticipation and you smirk at her when you place your hands on conjunctions of her hips, caressing her hip bones with your thumbs. Abby is soft here, but her V-line makes her look sharp and hard, and it gets to your head. 
“I fucking love how strong you are, you have no idea.”
“I think I have a pretty good idea.” Abby chuckles, but she is impatient, so she grabs your hand and moves it down to her pussy. 
“Hey, don’t spoil the fun.” You scold her playfully and bring your hand back. “I’m not going to keep you waiting, princess. Relax.”
Abby feels how her face burns when you call her princess again, but it gets her wet, so impossibly wet there's probably a dark spot on your pants under her. Abby grinds her hips down, searching for some friction, and you push your hips up to let her have it. Abby shudders as her clit grinds down on your pelvis and her hands clutch your shoulders almost painfully as she tries to set a pace of her hips. 
"This is so hot, Abs. Fuck." You tell her as you watch her get off just grinding on you. You grab her ass and help her grind harder and Abby whimpers quietly, and your brain barely holds back your filthy mouth. You want to tell Abby how good she is, how she is doing such a good job getting herself off, but you hold it back for now. 
The friction is not enough and you know it, so you lock her in place with one arm around her waist, praying she'd listen to you, and snake your other hand between your bodies. 
Abby is so fucking wet your eyes roll back into your scull from how hard it turns you on. 
"You're so wet, princess." You murmur into her ear and Abby whimpers again. "You okay?"
Abby just nods and it clicks. Abby is getting overwhelmed, but she clings to you so you figure out it's a good overwhelmed. 
"Do you like it when I call you princess?" You ask mostly to make sure, but it sounds so seductive to Abby, a little mean maybe but in a good way. 
"It's embarrassing." Abby admits and squirms around when you cup her pussy. Finally. 
"Do you want me to stop?" You ask gently and look in her eyes, serious. Abby looks back, but her eyes are glazed over, she is too horny to care about being embarrassed by this point. 
"No. Don't stop." Abby grinds against your hand and you press her closer to make her stop. 
"You wanna cum already?"
"You keep fucking teasing me." Abby says, annoyed.
"I'm taking my time." You kiss her cheek and part her folds carefully, circling her clit with two fingers and Abby buries her head into your neck, moaning. You stroke her back to soothe her, but your fingers only get faster, the pressure is featherlight and it drives Abby crazy because it will get her to cum way too fast, and you know it. 
"Yeah, that's right, princess. Relax and enjoy, yeah?" You can't stop talking now, desperate to praise Abby and make her feel safe in your arms. "Does it feel good?"
"I- I can't fucking-" Abby moans between her words, clinging to you harder as your fingers get her closer to her release. "Icantfuckingthink" Abby says in one breath and you barely make sense of it.
"Oh princess, don't. Don't think, okay? Be good for me." You pay closer attention to her reaction, not sure if Abby would like it, but she is too out of it now. She whines - fucking hell Abby whines - and presses closer to you.
"Yeah, I'll take care of you, I'll make you feel good." You promise her and slide your fingers down, gently pressing at her hole. Abby arches into your fingers, trying to get them inside, and your heart melts. "You're so cute, fuck. You want my fingers?" 
Abby growls at you, refusing to talk, and you chuckle. 
"Just nod for me, okay? Or shake your head."
Abby takes a second to process your words and then she nods. 
"Good girl." 
That makes Abby open her eyes in shock and her walls clench around nothing to push her slick into your hand, and you can tell she liked it. 
"Can I call you that, princess?" You slowly push your fingers inside and just move them to feel how soft and hot Abby is. She suddenly grinds down on your hand and you kiss her shoulder. "Nod or shake." You remind her. 
Abby nods, her embarrassment totally forgotten by this point: she feels small, safe and taken care of, and the way you talk to her only makes it better. Your stupid spidey senses let you know when to check in with her and Abby never knew it could be this way - that giving consent can turn her on so much because you ask for it like you're dirty talking to her. 
And you are so close and you hold her so tightly Abby feels grounded even though she is so overwhelmed she can't think anymore. She just feels, her world only exists in the tactile plane now, and your voice carries her away. 
"Yeah, don't think, princess, I want your head empty and your pretty cunt stuffed with my fingers." You murmur into Abby's ear and she buries her face in your neck deeper as you curl your fingers inside her. Abby moans quietly and you feel how you lose any self-control you had before. 
You pick up the pace, catching the balance between overwhelmingly fast and not fast enough just so you won't disturb Abby's delicate headspace, and you just listen to her. Abby is not loud, never been, but that what makes it so magical - every sigh turns into a quiet whimper the longer you fuck her, and then you feel it, how Abby clenches around your fingers, her orgasm coming closer. 
"You're close, princess, I can fucking feel it. Do you feel it? Does it feel nice when you're so tight around me?"
"Yeah." Abby says in a hoarse low voice and your teeth fucking ache because you want to sink them into her so much. 
"Fuck Abby." You kiss her temple and suddenly you're fucking her so hard Abby gets tense in your arms, overwhelmed. "You have no idea what you do to me."
But Abby is not listening to you because you turn your hand just enough so you could thumb her clit and-
"Fuck!" Abby shrieks and closes her thighs on you as she cums. You stop moving your fingers inside her to enjoy how she pulsates around them, but you continue thumbing her clit."Fuck-fuck, stop-" Abby asks when it becomes too much and you obey her. 
Abby is panting hard and you just kiss her neck and shoulders, waiting for her to calm down, but you can't help yourself so you start slowly moving your fingers in and out. 
"You feel amazing around my fingers, princess."
"Fuck, don't stop, please, don't fucking stop-" Abby whispers and hugs you around your neck. You’re more than happy to oblige, and you can’t help your mean smile as you move your fingers slowly but thoroughly, getting a feel of every centimetre of Abby’s walls. 
It doesn’t take more than a few minutes for Abby to whimper and shudder in your arms again, drenching your hand up to your wrist, and you gently kiss her to help her calm down. Abby is limp on your lap, her head comfortably tucked in your neck as she pants. Abby feels exhausted but ridiculously happy, giddy even - you opened something in her, something that freed her vulnerability fully. God, Abby always knew she could trust you, let you watch her back, but the thought she could be so vulnerable and small with you never crossed her mind.
“Do you want to nap, baby?” You murmur in her hair and Abby hums in agreement. “Okay, let me put your shirt back on, yeah?”
Abby reluctantly lets you put the shirt on her and wrap a blanket around both of you as you adjust your position so you’d be lying down while Abby would be on top of you, so it would be comfortable for her to rest. You open your book again while Abby’s breathing evens out.
“I am watching a pale blue sky be torn across by wind fresh from the russian steppes. Why is it that I find it so difficult to accept the present moment, whole as an apple, without cutting and hacking at it to find a purpose, or setting it up on a shelf with other apples to measure its worth or trying to pickle it in brine to preserve it, and crying to find it turns all brown and is no longer simply the lovely apple I was given in the morning?”
The present moment, whole as an apple - Abby doesn’t have to worry about not accepting it, lulled by your voice and your warmth and your smell - after all, the present is all she has.
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ushiromiya · 8 months
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(madoka magica / rebellion spoilers below. TW: suicide and controlling behavior)
I don't know the direction in which walpurgisnacht rising will take homura's character but I can say with confidence that from at least where rebellion left off that I truly believe that homura made the decision that she felt was the most correct one even if it meant she had to become a monster in the eyes of every person that loved her. she felt that if things were left in the way the law of the cycle was currently running things that it was inevitable that kyubey would eventually capture madoka in her goddess form, study her, and use her to as a source for mass amounts of energy at the suffering of herself, the others within the law of the cycle, and magical girls at large again. this is something he explains very clearly when talking to homura before her transformation into homulilly.
I get so exhausted when I see people try characterize homura as an actually evil person with completely selfish desires and no regard for others. all of her actions, while not explicitly explained outright, when looked at closely always indicate that she does things out of her care for the other girls but feels like she bears the burden of having to do it alone because she believes she's the only one who doesn't let her emotions get in the way of protecting madoka and the others from kyubey and sometimes each other.
I will always use the scenes of her interactions with mami and sayaka in rebellion as huge examples of this. she has no reason not to kill them if she's a completely selfish and unemphatic person that only cares about madoka and no one else when given many opportunities to do so. I also don't personally think she keeps them around JUST because of madoka's happiness either. she very easily could have suppressed their roles in madoka's life with the world rewrite and clearly choose not to. I believe her mocking sayaka and acting in a clearly "evil" manner is deliberate acting on her part to frame herself as a villain. she might believe this would her actions more palatable and will create distance between herself and everyone else to protect them as well as allow her to assert more control in this situation. it is further emphasized how she truly feels with imagery displayed in homura's new world around herself (shoes abandoned on the side of a building to potentially indicate suicidal ideation, a half moon alluding to homura feeling unfulfilled and unhappy with this decision, her dancing around happily before stopping and slowly falling off the cliff side with a similar implication as the shoes).
homura's relationship with the others is incredibly complicated but she cares for them deeply too as they are also people she considers friends, she just had a particularly strong attachment to madoka. we don't get to see as many instances of her interacting with them as we do them interacting with each other as we are unfortunately only really privy to homura's life after she began looping for the most part but we can see it in the way she has expresses concern and distress for them in moments where she believes they are in real, tangible danger of being hurt (she's winces and tries to turn away when aiming for mami's leg and screams out when she believes mami is about to be truly harmed after their gun fight, which neither ever had the real intention of hitting one another with any of those bullets in the first place). her entire witch's labyrinth is one where everyone is happy and gets the lives they desire. why would her labyrinth, which is meant to reflect in-part her inner feelings and desires, appear that way if she didn't truly want that for everyone?
rebellion is so compelling to me for all of this and so much more!! (I could write a whole other post on the way it presents it's freedom with danger vs control with safety question at the end of the film) she is a girl who has repeatedly suffered incredibly traumatizing events and longs for a world where the person she loves and the friends she considers dear are safe. homura is not really the devil, but she wants to appear to be because being the devil would be easier than being a human being in these circumstances.
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fanfic-lover-girl · 5 months
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Goku may have failed Gohan in some ways as a father, but Piccolo was never and will never be Gohan's Daddy
So when I was younger, I enjoyed a handful of fics centred on Piccolo and Gohan's relationship. I love how much Piccolo came to care for Gohan and it was nice to see Dad!Piccolo every now and then...but Dad!Piccolo can't ever measure up to fics where Goku is a great dad. I understand why some people may believe Piccolo is Gohan's true dad but I don't agree, especially now as an adult woman with my father now dead.
Disclaimer: I am basing this off my experience watching Dragonball, DBZ, DBGT and most of the DBZ/GT movies. I have not watched DBS nor will I ever. That series can screw itself.
Piccolo's responsibility in destroying Gohan's childhood
Piccolo is the one who thrust Gohan into the world of fighting and world-ending battles. He kidnapped Gohan and left Gohan to fend for himself for months. I will argue that Piccolo started Gohan's warrior path on a traumatic note and that's partly why Gohan does not gravitate towards fighting as he grows older. Yes, Piccolo changed but the damage can not be undone.
Difference in species
This may look superficial at first glance but it is significant as you look into it. Namekians are radically different from humans/saiyans physically, emotionally and sexually. That means that Piccolo can not advise Gohan on various aspects of his life as he grows older, especially during puberty. Piccolo can't teach him to shave. Piccolo can't give him the sex talk and talk to him about girls. Piccolo can't help Gohan with his friendships. Piccolo can't relate to whatever saiyan or human urge Gohan may experience. A father is supposed to model a good man for his kids and teach his son to be one. Piccolo can't offer that to Gohan, unfortunately.
Emotional distance
I see Gohan as a very emotional and affectionate person. You see this when he interacts with Goku, Goten and Videl. Piccolo is more reserved and closed off. Usually when Piccolo and Gohan interact, there's always some kind of distance between them. However, there are a few times when Piccolo will rest his hand on Gohan's head or shoulder when he feels extremely proud like after the Cell games. However, I don't think this would have been enough from a father figure for Gohan. When Gohan is crying after Goku's sacrifice, it's Krillin who steps up and comforts Gohan. When the Z fighters go to the lookout after Gohan's victory, it's Yamcha who carries Gohan. This does not mean Piccolo does not care for Gohan! I am just saying that Gohan likes physical forms of affection too, but that's not Piccolo's love language.
Fighting is all they have in common
We don't see Piccolo and Gohan have any extensive scenes together outside the context of battles and fighting. What exactly do they do together for fun? What do they talk about? In the movies, we see kid Gohan being silly around Piccolo and Piccolo tolerating him, but that hardly counts. I get the vibe from the series that Gohan's visits to Piccolo are brief and they don't have much small talk. With Goku, we see Gohan and him enjoy pastimes together like fishing, bathing and eating. In the lead-up to the Cell games, we see them reminisce about Gohan's childhood and have fun as a family at Gohan's birthday party. Why wasn't Piccolo there?
Piccolo is not involved wholistically in Gohan's life
Piccolo only really exists and functions in the fighting realm of Gohan's life. This is why their relationship does not feel as close as Gohan grows older and starts his career and family. Piccolo hardly expresses any interest in the other facets of Gohan's life. I don't even recall Piccolo interacting at all with Pan or Videl at the end of Z or GT. He is not close with Chi Chi and Goten, Gohan's family. I think Piccolo is closer to the Son family in Super but I don't care. Compare this with Goku who encourages Gohan to study, teases him about Videl and spends time with Pan.
Conclusion: Goku is Gohan's daddy and Piccolo can't fill that gap.
This does not take away the fact that Piccolo protected Gohan and loved him in his own way. Sacrificing himself for Gohan multiple times. Piccolo was the one who understood Gohan's mindset during the Cell games (probably because he was the one who beat baby Gohan into a fighter and saw his timidness up close vs. Goku who came back to life and only saw hero Gohan being badass all the time) and was the first Z fighter to step in during Gohan's fight against Cell. But Piccolo is better labelled as a friend or mentor to Gohan. Maybe uncle or big brother. Goku is Gohan's father, Gohan sees Goku as his daddy, and Piccolo will never fill that role for Gohan.
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The Judo Flip Scene; The Scene that Divided the Percy Jackson Fandom: What Went Wrong?
Annabeth grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her shoulder. He slammed into the stone pavement. Romans cried out. Some surged forward, but Reyna shouted, “Hold! Stand down!”
Annabeth put her knee on Percy’s chest. She pushed her forearm against his throat. She didn’t care what the Romans thought. A white-hot lump of anger expanded in her chest—a tumor of worry and bitterness that she’d been carrying around since last autumn.
“If you ever leave me again,” she said, her eyes stinging, “I swear to all the gods—”
Percy had the nerve to laugh. Suddenly the lump of heated emotions melted inside Annabeth.
“Consider me warned,” Percy said. “I missed you, too.
-Mark of Athena
This scene is one of the, if not most, controversial scenes in the entirety of Rick Riordan's books. It has caused many fans to go deep into the morality of the scene--into the question of boundaries, whether it is just a good boundaries into Percy and Annabeth's relationships or just abusive behaviour. In this post, I will talk about my opinion on, 'What went wrong?'
First, let us dissect this scene, shall we? We have Annabeth, who has lost her only proof of permanence for six months. The guy she was dreading would die for five years before she thought they had their happy ending was suddenly snatched in a time where she thought life couldn't get any better. During this time;
she saw jason falling in love with piper and was stressed that percy would be doing the same without her
she was stressed percy would never even remember her.
she canonically spent hundreds and thousands of drachmas (and probably time too) on iris messaging every monster and god she could just so that she could find him
she spent a WHOLE lot of energy on this.
she was probably advised by people in camp to find another guy, probably got these comments regularly
she was also troubled by athena's roman form to find athena parthenos statue and ditch finding percy, which must have been hard to handle
she was in charge of helping build a WHOLE WAR SHIP
she was also in charge of rebuilding the home of the gods
And you know what? It makes sense that she would have all of these emotions buried inside her. It makes sense that she would be angry, stressed, and depressed and that she would bury all of this inside. "During their separation, something had happened to Annabeth’s feelings. They’d grown painfully intense—like she’d been forced to withdraw from a life-saving medication. Now she wasn’t sure which was more excruciating—living with that horrible absence, or being with him again" Yep, homegirl was going through some stuff.
Though we don't know what his thoughts were on his point of view, from the fact that he laughs and never brings it up later, we can conclude that Rick wanted us to know that he didn't care, and that these interactions are common between both of them, though one could argue that isn't really reliable.
So; Annabeth having an outburst of emotions is a completely normal reaction, judging the amount of things she has gone through, even though it isn't the right way to express her feelings. But, why is the judo flip scene actually bad? Why did it give even percabeth shippers the ick?
The Way Rick Wrote It: Rick treated the scene as if it was funny, Annabeth was such a girly girlboss who did it to keep Percy in his place. "I only judoflip my boyfriend". And people were mad. Mad that girls are portrayed to be girlbosses by making them violent. Mad that this violence was against a guy who was implied to be abused in his childhood.
My Argument: This scene was written in a time where media with violent comedy was popular among kids (tom and jerry, oggy and the cockroaches, i see you), and that it aged badly. Another important thing: a lot of the fandom also thought of it as percabeth's most romantic moments, and hyped it up so much, which contributes towards the whole ick of the scene.
My Argument: One thing to take into account was that the romans were really on guard when the greeks arrived. they were scared it was going to be an ambush. so when annabeth judoflips percy, their nerves took over. i fully believe the humor of 'i only judoflip my bf' was just their way of diffusing a potentially dangerous situation of misunderstanding.
But in the end I do agree, the way this was written was a major disservice to the feelings that Annabeth was experiencing that time. Rick failed to portray that scene as an exhausted traumatised teenager having an unhealthy outburst of emotions, which is what it really was. Instead, he tried to make it a funny type of scene, and the fandom carried it forward by hyping the scene up as if it was one of percabeth's most romantic moments, and even though the intentions were good, he failed to convey the meaning behind what they said properly.
So now that we've answered the question this post was made for, I'd like to end this post with a positive note. I'd like to point out that in cotg, there is no moment that annabeth physically hurted (hurted is too much of an overstatement) percy if you think about it, which shows that she has improved. If you want proof, I searched any time where Annabeth teased percy physically when he said something 'stupid' and what I found was 'nudged me with her toe' and 'lightly pinched me'. So, even though Rick messed up in writing that one scene more than ten years ago, it's safe to say he has improved.
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mikhailwrites · 6 months
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MWIII Campaign thoughts&opinion
⚠️SPOILERS AHEAD (OBVIOUSLY)⚠️
Alright, here we go. Modern Warfare III. Disclaimer: I've been part-timing as videogame journalist (not in EN, obviously) for the past 10 years so this might read a bit like a review which this is not.
It's been a year since we watched the 141 sit in the bar in Chicago and look at the photo of one Vladimir Makarov. And the day of reckoning is finally here, at least for those of us with eaely access to the campaign.
The game opens, surprisingly, from the Konni perspective. As one of Konni soldiers, you infiltrate the prison to free your boss. First look at Makarov is menacing and leaves an impression.
Speaking of Makarov, however, I can't but feel like the writers had dropped the ball. It's obvious they were trying to go for the unhinged psychopath vibe but honestly, so many Makarov's lines borders on ridiculous, oftentimes crossing the line entirely. At times, I felt like I'm watching an old 007 villain and I don't mean it in the good way.
Most glaring example was in the Flashpoint mission. As Price and Soap capture Makarov after bombing the stadium in Verdansk, the terrorist then taunts and mocks them, revealing to know their names and threatening them with a revenge. The dialogue is, frankly, on a bad side and Makarov in that scene sounded to me more like a spoiled, rich teenager than much feared leader of a private army with ambition to start another World War.
It also contrasted wildly with the continuation of the scene where we see Soap almost lose it, tackling Makarov and pressing a gun to his head while Price tries to dissuade him from killing the criminal on the spot. That bit was well executed and I really liked it.
What I also liked was the Passenger mission and the very unique perspective we got as players, feeling the helplessness of the victim as it's forced to play role of a terrorist, solely based on their ethnicity. The "You're not a terrorist, but you look like one," line felt very powerful, especially in the context of current affairs.
The whole campaign felt very rushed and, in my opinion, the total commitment to the "race against the clock" hurt the narration a lot. There is not a moment of respite and every piece of the puzzle is delivered in a manner so hurried, I sometimes had trouble following it.
Especially in the Danger Close mission as we, similarly to MWII, operate Shadow Company gunship to provide air support, and out of nowhere, we get a shout that there's a helo nearby and Makarov's in it.
We then proceed to shoot the helicopter down and Makarov is seemingly KIA. Well, he's obviously not but the whole scene is delivered in such a luckluster manner that I was wondering if I perhaps missed some cutscene or debrief (I didn't) and was asking myself if the developers are even serious.
The overall pacing is off, especially compared to MWII and this leads to the lack of impact and emotional response.
Which brings us to the more sensitive part of this post. Being a Ghost/Soap shipper, I was happy to see the two interact and to pick up the rapport established in the previous game. Like many others, I, too, would appreciate more time with them, but I would appreciate more missions and longer campaign rather than cut other characters' screen time.
When they are on the screen, banter is usually quick to follow. Soap and Ghost interact easily with each other, hinting at a natural progress of their relationship. The Milena interrogation is especially great in this regard.
And then there's that ending. Honestly, I knew someone would die. I think it was pretty much given. Still, I had my bets on Ghost, thinking that Soap was way too fresh and had his whole career ahead of him to be sacrificed. Well, I was wrong.
In the confines of the story, it makes sense it's him. There is major foreshadowing happening in the Verdansk mission and when Soap ends up going with Price at the end, well, it was clear. Soap almost killed Makarov years prior, Price stopped him, and now Makarov comes and kills Soap right in front of Price. The choices and consequences. It makes sense.
But.
But it serves no purpose. It's literally the last mission, so what could've served as the major catalyst for the big finale - rest of 141 coming for Makarov for some good old revenge - just ends up rather sour. Especially since Johnny, during his last struggle, as he saves Price's life, doesn't even manage to kill Makarov, only injuring him, albeit badly.
It gets worse when you realise that during both games, Soap didn't get any justice at all. In MWII, he seemingly kills Graves, taking a revenge for the betrayal and the Alone mission. Only for Graves to casually reappear later, stating he wasn't in the tank that the game clearly stated he was in.
And now he loses his life without taking Makarov with him. It's... beyond sad for the character to get treated this badly by the narration.
The team's response to his death is a bit mild as well. It starts well, with Ghost scrambling to him as soon as he spots him, feeling for vitals even though it has to be clear to him that he's gone, that felt gutwrenching. But after that? It's... lacking some stronger emotional response. They say their farewells to Johnny, a single sentence each (and, my god, did they truly think the "he was the best of us" clichè would work on any level whatsoever?), scattering his ashes, and that, too, as great as the animation was, just... felt a bit hollow and artificial.
There are ways to kill a beloved character to make it feel truly heartbreaking and meaningful. The scriptwriters here should've taken notes from Destiny 2's Forsaken DLC for example. They could've used Soap's death in a myriad of ways, including making player to choose between, say, saving Soap and letting Makarov escape. Or between saving Soap and defusing the bomb. Or just about dozen other narrative choices that would make Soap's death more meaningful and would have much bigger impact on the player.
As it is, I cannot help but say my own farewell words: Johnny died, but what for?
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umeji-writes · 6 months
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I would like to talk about the Music Festival arc - aka my favorite Mairuma arc until now. I love them all tbh, this is just very close to my heart for several reasons. [cw: non-suggestive discussion of s*x; if you are a s*x-repulsed asexual person you are very much welcome to interact, but this may not be the post for you, take care and proceed with caution ♡ edit: I'm uncensoring the words from here onwards thanks to a kind anon's suggestion] To make it short, I love that the main theme of this arc is pleasure, and the desire for it. Honestly, it's very horny - but not in a slimy or creepy way, which is sadly quite rare in my experience. The appreciation for pleasure coming from love (also platonic love) is there in several layers. First, the plot itself, as Lilith cries out her desire to find "a love that burns like fire". She is not satisfied by most pretenders, and especially this frame spoke to me:
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Because... Well... It's so true. I am an adult, and I had my share of sexual partners. The expressions people make irl are not always aesthetically pleasing, but who cares! We are told to strive to be always attractive, but in those moments of intimacy it's really not important, not as much as being fully present and enjoying the moment! Then, can we talk about Kalego please?
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I mean, Nishi here went all out and didn't even try to hide her fascination for ...discipline:
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(and to be fully clear: I am NOT implying there is sexual tension between Kalego and his students, I am only referring to him!!!) When I saw the whip I couldn't believe my eyes. Of course in that context it's not used that way, but it's very much recognizable as an adult tool... But more on this later. Finally, I really like that the Misfits are growing up and finding out new things about themselves. They are characterized as high school students (even if we don't know how old they actually are), which is when humans tend to have their first experiences and explore their sexualities. They are building together this beautiful show full of emotions and desire, and honestly performing with other people is really an amazing feeling (I am a former musician and theater actor - let me tell you, every performance was fire). Look at their faces: from here...
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...to here.
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They are shocked, but happy! And definitely feeling ...feelings. And here is my main takeaway: I am really, really sad that sex is a taboo topic in our society, and when there's something about sex, it's mostly treated in a very bad way. This includes sex scenes in generic-audience movies, which I tend to dislike... I hate that sex is handled like a dirty and secret thing. I hate that sex is mostly treated as something that has to do with power imbalance and taking advantage of someone else, usually men that "want to do stuff TO" women (nonbinary individuals like myself not found) - and too often not in a hot and consensual way. I hate that social media are becoming more and more sex-hostile, because investors fear these topics, and use children as a shield to justify limiting contents for adults as well. I hate that sexual education is mainly reserved for talking about pregnancies and, if the students are lucky, prevention of STDs. Solo or reciprocal pleasure? Consent? Treating it as a normal part of life for many people (and not ALL, again, asexual people exist)??? Naaaah, why do that, when you can make people feel shame and embarassment and perpetuate trauma. Again, I am a grown-up now, and while this is legal and everything, I was conditioned to feel some level of shame nonetheless when talking about it irl (which I am working on). The whip I was writing about before (and the kneeling scene afterward)? It was a revolution in my brain. "So... That's a thing we can do...?"
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(like that) I plan on doing some adult drawings in the future, but there's a part of me that resists the idea, because adult entertainment usually involves some level of dehumanization... But you know what? I want to take it back and make it about pleasure and enjoyment as it should be. Tbh, I could write a whole essay on the causes for all of the above and how they interact (patriarchy, capitalism, religions as power institutions, etc.), but this is not the place. So I'll just say that I am really, really grateful to Nishi for including this arc in a manga for a young audience, as those are important years to build a healthy relationship with pleasure and one's own body. And as Sullivan said...
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I'm very much convinced that Nishi is doing a great job at sending messages for inclusion and social equality in M!IK, taking the role of educator herself. (Other reasons why I love the Music Festival arc are: Soi's story, Clara and Azz becoming closer, Iruma learning the piano, the appreciation of music itself, the immaculate art and more, but that's for another post!!!)
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dutchdread · 19 days
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Hello Dutch, don't you think Cloud kissed Tifa too soon? The big reveal in the Lifestream scene is the hidden romantic feelings Cloud had for Tifa, but now that revelation won't be as impactful because he has already declared his feelings for her.
This is actually something I've been thinking about myself, and I think that you could definitely make an argument for this being the case. That having been said I think it's a matter of personal….for lack of a better word, choice. I think you can choose to be negative and see it as such, but rather than looking at "what could have been" you can also choose to look at what we actually got and see if there is a positive way to see it.
First lets look at what we didn't get though. We didn't get 2 games of Cloud and Tifa not showing any romantic interest in each other…..can we agree that that's a good thing? Because honestly that would SUCK!!!!! And if we consider how bad the backlash was back in 1997 when the "Tifa is the true love interest" reveal happened in the game itself how bad would it have been if we'd instead had had 8 years and two games of them seemingly being mostly platonic?
People would be absolutely bamboozled, they'd feel it came out of nowhere and probably have felt rather scammed. Clotis would have hated the first two games with a passion, and Cleriths (which would include every new player) would be rioting at the third.
So then the choice is between including it subtly, or going all in. Well, if they went subtle, it would still be noticeable, so the idea that Cloud might have a crush on Tifa would still no longer be a reveal. This isn't 1997, models have facial animations now, they have micro expressions. Back in 1997 being "not interested" or being in love was represented with the same vertical stripe, so regular interactions essentially revealed very little information about a characters emotions.
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Pictured: Complete disinterest, or, complete sexual desire. You decide!
But in 2024 the same thing no longer applies. Every sentence, even the simple speaking of a name, comes with a host of meaning. You can't have Cloud speak Tifas name as though it means nothing for 2 games, and still expect people to be on their side when it comes to romance. And you can't expect people to hear Cloud speak Tifas name with longing for 8 years and then still be surprised that he's into her.
So the reveal was always dead in the water, and they instead went all in, because why not? You see, the reveal isn't exactly that Cloud is in love with Tifa. The reveal is the depth of the love, how far back it's gone, and all the things it has caused. Not just that Cloud has and had a crush on Tifa, but that it's been his entire raison d'etre for the past 10 or so years. When Yuffie asks Cloud whether he liked Tifa when he was younger, and he answered "don't remember", this scene suddenly became a lot more poignant as the player realizes that was actually either a bold-faced lie, or very tragically ironic.
The viewer is left wondering if Cloud, even as we were playing him then, was at least aware of his love of Tifa, but wasn't showing it due to his mask, or if even he genuinely forgot the very thing that set him on this path (personally I think that while Cloud is totally unsure of who or what he is, that he is 100% aware that he deeply loves Tifa, even at the start of Remake).
And if we're going to be explicit anyway, then what difference does it make whether he kisses her or not? The reveal that Cloud likes Tifa is gone with or without it, so might as well go with it. And while the reveal might be less impactful for us, there is one person who, even with the kiss, will still be blown away by it. The most important person, Tifa. To Tifa the kiss probably didn't reveal as much as it did to us, because Tifa has no clue what is really going on with Cloud, nor the state of his psyche. With everything he's been doing she could very well be wondering if the person who kissed her was even Cloud. So the reveal that it wasn't just Cloud that kissed her, but that it's so utterly him that he had been longing for it his entire life will feel SOOOOOOO unfathomably relieving that the mere second hand experience that we the player will get through empathy with Tifa will more than compensate for any loss of shock, IF it is done right.
So I guess what I am trying to say is, don't worry, the reveal isn't ruined. Because the reveal will still recontextualize everything that came before it. Before the reveal Cloud hugging Tifa in remake feels like a dude being hugged but being a bit uncomfortable because of his brooding personality, and not knowing what to do, but deciding to hug back because he's grown closer to his childhood friend over the course of the game, and has developed some feelings for her (essentially what Cleriths think Aerith and Cloud are experiencing at the end of Rebirth XD).
After the reveal Tifa hugging Cloud feels like a huge dork getting everything he's dreamed about his entire life and having absolutely no clue what to do because he's so shy and awkward and "omg I never thought I'd get this far, don't screw this up, don't screw this up". Before the reveal Cloud kissing Tifa feels like a cool guy who loves Tifa giving her the kiss they both desire, but probably Tifa most of all. After the reveal the kiss feels like Cloud winning a thousand jackpots at once. A sweet boy whose heart is probably pounding out of this chest and is barely managing to stay cool.
And there is a second improvement to the story resulting from the kiss. Namely the increased sense of loss and pain associated with Cloud drifting away from Tifa and finally breaking. In the original its sad to watch Tifa cry out about losing Cloud, but it's nothing compared to what we get in Rebirth, let alone what we will hopefully get in part 3. There can be no doubt that the reason it hits so hard when Cloud rips away Tifas hand in the temple of the ancients after he tried killing Elena is because the game so effectively established the bond between Cloud and Tifa. Him forcefully removing her hand has become viscerally shocking. Both because it now shows extra clearly how far gone Cloud is, but also because it makes Tifas experience extra tragic.
Without the romance and kiss it would have just been Tifa losing the Cloud she had found by the tracks. She wanted to find the boy she'd fallen in love with, she had wanted to rekindle something, but ultimately she wouldn't have done so, and therefore losing him would feel less painful. It's far more painful to have something and lose it than to never have it in the first place. With the romance and the kiss Tifa actually found that boy and bond that she'd thought about for so long. And to finally find that one sliver of happiness and then to have it ripped away right when she needed it most…..well it cuts twice as hard. When she takes care of Cloud in Mideel, knowing what she lost, having only ever gotten that kiss…..well, it cuts twice as deep.
And of course, this will also make the reveal in the lifestream that she never lost the real Cloud, all the more amazing. (OH THANK GOD, I finally figured out why TUMBLR was randomly not allowing me to post longer posts)
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sockendrache · 8 months
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Headcanon: Obito gets violently sick whenever he has a crush bc he's an Uchiha and feels everything way more intense
So. Uchiha feel emotions way more intense than non-Uchiha, yes?
Imagine Obito, who doesn't really have any friends but is desperate to be included, hearing the other kids talk about their little puppy-crushes. About feeling butterflies in your stomach and getting dizzy and nervous, all that jazz.
Then, enter Rin. Who's the first person to go out of her way to hang out with Obito and befriends him and gets to know him. And him, being so deprived of social interactions with kids his age, immediately latches onto her and they become besties-
And then he notices that his heart starts pounding and he gets butterflies whenever he's around Rin, and he just thinks to himself "Is this??? A Crush????" Since, y'know. He's got absolutely no reference to go off of and know the difference between friends and crushes.
What I'm saying is: Obito has no idea what having a friend feels like and is operating purely on what he heard other kids describe crushes to be like.
Years later he's slowly making friends with the other kids at the academy and has more experience on what having friends feels like, and he's cONFUSED as hell, because why the fuck does he get butterflies when he's hanging out with Asuma and Kurenai or sparring with Guy??!!
So he asks his Grandma what that's all about, and she just goes
"Well, you're an Uchiha, and we Uchiha are known to experience emotions about 10x more intense than others. What feels like a 'crush' to other kids is just what 'friendship' feels like to an Uchiha. I assure you, you'll know the difference when you truly develop feelings :)"
And Obito just thinks she's trying to comfort him because "No way that's true, how can my feelings get any stronger than this?!"
...flash forward to him, Rin and Kakashi being placed on Team Minato, and Obito realizing that Grandma was right when the sound of Kakashi's voice is enough to make him violently throw up
Turns out that those feelings could get stronger. A LOT stronger.
His friendship with Rin gives him comforting butterflies and a warm fuzzy feel up his spine that makes him smile for days.
Meanwhile, his rivalry (ITS NOT LOVE, IT'S NOT LOVE!!) with Kakashi makes him physically ill. Obito doesn't just feel warm and fuzzy when chatting (arguing) with Kakashi, he actually gets a fucking fever. Obito doesn't get comforting butterflies when he's around Kakashi, he gets violently sick to the point where he throws up whenever Kakashi so much as breathes in his direction.
And the worst part is: everyone knows what's wrong ("wrong") with Obito, literally everyone.
Everyone, EXCEPT FOR KAKASHI
One moment Obito is chatting with Asuma and Genma, he's completely fine and feels great! ....then Kakashi comes up to them (making sure he gets to the training grounds on time, lol). He doesn't even get a single word in before Obito goes pale, then,
"Obito-"
Hearing Kakashi say his name is enough to make him throw up into the nearest trashcan
Genma volunteers to help Obito get cleaned up, if only to escape the scene
Kakashi, watching them trott off: Tsk. Why doesn't he just go to the doctor already?
Asuma: ...
Asuma: Uhm. How long has he been... sick?
Kakashi: It's been like this for weeks. I honestly don't get why Minato Sensei has me go out of my way to fetch Obito every day when he's clearly too ill to be of any use during training.
Asuma: ...yea that's odd
Asuma, internally: kakashi how dense are you
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oh-my-may · 9 days
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LET'S TALK HSR PENACONY 2.1 (or rather, have my impressions and thoughts on the main quest and some other stuff)
First of all, I went out of it with so many thoughts and emotions. This is not gonna be spoiler free (duh).
ACHERON IS SO FUN TO PLAY. Like, really really fun. Finally Simulated Universe is not an annoying pain anymore, and much quicker too. Thanks to a good friend of mine her relics aren't too bad either. She's already so fun to play with Black Swan, can't wait for a Kafka rerun now 💀
Aa for the story now: I FUCKING KNEW MIKHAIL WAS THE WATCHMAKER. I KNEW IT. Now to wait for them to confirm that Misha is connected to him, either as a ghost of his past self or a child or some sort. It's the only way.
It's also really refreshing to see that HSR is giving 4star characters significant roles in the story. First it was Tingyun, now it's Gallagher (and maybe Misha? I'll die on this hill).
Loved the pacing. Story was quite long and lots of gameplay but didn't feel overwhelming at all, probably because we didn't just stick to the MC the whole time. The characters split up and we didn't just follow the express crew but also Aventurine, I really loved that. It felt so dynamic and immersive.
WELT AND ACHERON INTERACTION. BRO. The way I gasped the whole time. We still don't have a canon confirmation of how Raiden Mei and Acheron or just generally HI3rd and HSR are connected but it's sp clear that Acheron is by far the closest connection yet. So sp excited to find out more about this. Raiden Mei, I'll love you in every universe.
Aventurine and Ratio are also very interesting to me. What does Ratio gain by involving himself in all of this? What does he get out of it? Anyway, their little journey through the mansion was nice. GIGANTIC RATIO. The kinda stuff my dreams are made of tbh.
Generally the whole Aventurine story got me right from the beginning. He's generally one of the most interesting characters to me (although this game has plenty of them). I gotta admit of course I was suspicious of him (as one should be of all Penacony characters) but I liked him nevertheless. This patch supported my feelings, my GOD HE xkdjjdjdjd. The way I cried. Since I played the story so late ofc I saw some spoilers/screenshots of his backstory but I never expected it to hit me this hard. Just wow. His ending, too. It's so bitter. Kinda hope we get to see him again, since he'a mot really dead, right? Just in some limbo.
His boss fight was really something. Not a lot of different patterns, but I still had to try a bunch of different teams, since you're kinda fucked even with just a single single target character in your party. Had to unbench Clara, and I gotta say, she came through for me. I might not have used the most meta team, but it worked soooo...
And just as I was glad I had managed the fight they hit you with that big cut scene, woah. AND THEN WITH THE FIREFLY SCENE? AND SUNDAY????
First of all, apparently it was common knowledge among the community since last patch that Sam was Firefly. Yeah, I gwt it bc of the leaks and stuff. But I'm just so confused as to HOW. Like HOW and WHY and just generally HUH. I can't wait for them to explain this connection (if you're reading this and you wanna spoil me with non-confirmed stuff then leave it, please, I might as well wait another 3 weeks).
And then Gallagher and Sunday... Just as I was admiring Sunday's beauty because he might legit just be one of the most gorgeous male character designs... THEY KILL HIM. When I tell ypu I was SHOOK. Mouth agape and all. Didn't know what to do. What a cliffhanger.
Now I don't have a real theory as to what I think will happen. If I remember correctly they said the main story will stretch until 2.3, right? I really wonder what else will happen, the story already seemed so huge this patch and I really wonder how it'll conclude. There's still so many questions and stories. Might add on to this post later when I have more thoughts.
Also Aventurine's banner just dropped but as of writing this I haven't pulled yet. Might add a little post later about it.
For now, have some screenshots I took during the story:
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ALSO I GOT AVENTURINE. SECOND 50/50 WIN IN A ROW IN THIS GAME HAVE I FINALLY BROKEN THE CURSE. Now for the long and treacherous road of farming his trace mats and relics ... Since I never really prefarm 🥲
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A pic I took in my excitement. Forgot the screenshot button exists.
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commander-rahrah · 3 months
Text
Talking to the Moon: Part VI
Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Word Count: ~4800 Warnings: slightly suggestive, swearing, blood, non-con touching (Cazador touching reader), some borrowed in game dialogue, canonical warnings apply!
archiveofourown: here
masterlist: here
part I: here part II: here part III: here part IV: here part V: here
Summary: Set in Act III, after you arrive in Baldur's Gate and have met some of Astarion's siblings but not yet confronted Cazador. Astarion struggles with inner turmoil as he is suddenly thrusted back into the clutches of his old master's influence.
Notes: Long time no update! Long story short December was the month where everything was bad and everything hurt - ER hospital visits and many, many days laying in bed and on the couch very unmotivated and just wanting to feel better! I am very grateful to be feeling better and up to writing as my fics is one of my favorite creative outlets! So thank you for being patient between updates! I really appreciate it and any kind of interaction like a reblog, like or comment truly makes my friggin' day!
So this update and the next chapter will be focused on confronting Cazador! I have had these thoughts and ideas to add more to the in-game scenes since the very first time I played it! I was doing a multiplayer save with my fiancé and the second we finished Astarion's quest (I sobbed the entire time btw) I stayed up all night writing all my thoughts onto my notes app. I didn't even intend to write into a fic back then, I just wanted the outlet of writing it all down to help with how emotional I was feeling about it all! And now a few months later, I have a fic with over 30k words. Aha... whoops!
Anyways, I really hope you enjoy this update and the slight changes and add-ons I've added to this final part of Astarion's quest. I honestly teared up writing parts of it, because Astarion and his and my Tav's story means so much to me, I couldn't help it. ALSO, I don't plan on these being the last updates since it is the "end" of Astarion's quests. I still have plans for this Tav/Reader and Astarion yet. Not enough kissing and happiness had happened yet!! Just some angst and pain has to happen first.
As always, reblogs and comments are very very appreciated ♡♡♡
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You had wandered the streets of Baldur’s Gate before. Long before the nautiloid, in your time living in the city you had explored as much of the exciting city as you could. But never like this.
Your party had taken every cobblestone street, every back alley and shortcut. Astarion lead the way for most of them, pointing things out and sharing antidotes with you.
But you noticed how his smile strained at times, that he was wearing down the stitches on his leather pants from his fingers picking them nervously. At night when you slept side by side you’d wake to him trembling and muttering through a nightmare, which had become more frequent since you stepped into the city boundaries.
The vampire has been so sure of the next step in the Shadowlands and Wyrm’s Crossing. But now anytime you neared the streets leading to Cazador’s castle, he was turning on his heel and looking at one of your companions to ask what they needed to do instead.
Meeting his siblings days ago had been eye-opening. You thought you understood what he had gone through, that the memories he had described to you, and even shown you through the tadpoles, was enough. But after seeing how controlled and manipulated Petras and Dalyria had been… What they were being forced to do…You couldn’t bring yourself to picture Astarion like that.
You couldn’t imagine the turmoil and anguish going through your lover — seeing his siblings, being in the city again in a way he never thought he would, being so close to seizing power that could change his fate forever. You hadn’t voiced that every time he mentioned taking the ritual for himself fear stabbed in your belly. You knew what was motivating him to even consider the choice — outright fear and the call of power that was easily addicting. But too many things in his life has been decided for him… so you didn’t voice that to him, instead insisting that you only needed for him to be safe and happy. You trusted him to make the right choice.
You did trust him. You loved him.
And you showed him as such — throughout the day as you laced your fingers through his, as you rolled your neck for him to feed, as you curled into each other to sleep.
And he had been returning that trust and love back.
He had continued to expand his boundaries with you, slowly but surely as the days went on. Your quiet time together after a long day, you were a reprieve he sought out over and over. You whispered and giggled with each other between kisses in your shared bed in the Elfsong Tavern — tucked into the corner and hidden behind privacy screens. Privacy screens that Karlach had loudly dragged over before giving you both a very unsubtle wink. Then she did the same for her and Shadowheart.
The teasing had been relentless.
You still hadn’t taken those final steps, and you were in no rush too. Astarion’s happiness and agency was the most important to you, always. Yet, you couldn’t help the way your heart thundered and breath got higher as he slowly explored any kind of touch and intimacy with you again.
You were laid together now, draped across each other — you only in your night clothes and Astarion in very thin linen pants. You were pressed gently on top of him, your voice and lips whispering across his pale skin as he pointed his fingertip to various parts of his body. His new game he had started that night — seemingly convinced that he would find a part of himself that you did not love.
Utterly impossible — but you indulged him anyways.
“Even this? You like this?” He pointed to his knobby elbow.
"Hmm,” You hummed approvingly, pressing a gentle peck to the bare, taut skin of his bent joint.
His low laughter rumbled through both of you, shaking you slightly. “I’m running out of ideas.”
You eyed him greedily, “I’m not. You’ve missed some of your best parts.”
“Have I?” He cocked a brow, a smirk spreading across his face. “Alright, go on then.”
“I can—?”
“Mhmm,” He nodded his head against the silk pillow, settling himself deeper into the mattress under your weight.
Swallowing, you took him in underneath you and felt your mind start whirring. Slow, patient, soft — you reminded yourself. You gently touched his jawline, the tip of your finger following the strong line. “Here.”
Then your forefinger and thumb rubbed the cartilage on the tops of his ears, “Here.” His mouth fell open deliciously with that one.
“Here,” You caressed the mole on his cheek with a swipe of your thumb.
You continued your movements, so drawn into him that you didn’t notice his red eyes blazing as they flickered between watching your hand and watching your face.
Your fingers gracefully dragged across him. His Adam’s apple. His knuckles. Collarbone. Inner wrist.
“I told you, there is no part of you that I do not like. Every inch of you I want to—“ You cut yourself off. Perhaps that was too much. This was a fun, teasing game — exploratory and gentle. You hadn’t meant to make it about your own desire and arousal.
He swallowed, his mouth hanging open slightly, “You want to what?”
You let out a fake cough, lifting yourself off of him slightly with a blush crossing your cheeks. “Well, I—“
A grin spread across his face, “Oh, I love it when you get all coy.” He purred, pulling you back before you could fully get away. “Tell me, please.” He whispered.
“There isn’t an inch of you that I don’t wish to kiss. To taste.” You admitted huskily, the heat on your face spreading to your neck.
The groan that escaped him made the fire in your belly sputter even hotter.
“Show me?” He asked softly, but his tone was slightly more sultry than before.
“Sho—show you?”
He nodded before fidgeting under you to display himself more — stretching out his neck, spreading his arms out.
“May I—“
“Darling,” He said the pet name a tad exasperated as his slowly closing eyes snapped to yours. “This was my idea. You don’t have to ask every time.”
“Yes, I do.” You insisted.
He rolled his eyes playfully, shaking his soft curls, “Really—“
But you cut him off. “Astarion, I do. I will continue to. It’s important to me. I never want you to do something you don’t want. I never want to make you feel like that with me.”
“You haven’t. I know you wouldn’t.” He trailed his pale fingers through the hair hanging in front of your face as you hovered over him. He tucked it behind your ear.
“I know it seems like a silly question, especially between us but I want you to know you can—“
It was his turn to cut you off, silencing you with a reassuring kiss. He was looking at you with astonishment when you finally opened your eyes from the deep kiss. “What ever did I do to deserve you my lovely moon?”
You smiled tenderly down at him, “Perhaps it was fate.”
“Hmm," His red eyes blinked slowly, "I used to despise that sentiment.”
“And now?”
Astarion gave you one of the most tender smiles you'd ever seen. “I think you might be right.” He ran his fingers gently down your cheek before letting out a dramatic puff. “Now, stop turning me into a sappy lovesick fool and kiss me already.” He growled playfully.
"As you wish, love." You mumbled as you pressed your lips to his.
• • •
You woke with a stir, the weight of the mattress shifting suddenly and then the sound of scuffling feet. Astarion was standing in front of the bed — in front of you defensively, still only in his night pants with his bare chest rising and falling quickly. A dagger was closed in his fist, aimed in front of him of threateningly. “Stop right where you are.” His voice was commanding like it had never been before, but you could still hear a twinge of uncertainty in it.
“You know why we’re here, brother.” A low, masculine voice said — seemingly coming from the dark shadows in the corners of the large suite.
Astarion's stance grew wider, his grip on his dagger tightening until his already pale knuckles turned white. “Come any closer to us and it will be the last thing you do.”
Peering over your lover's figure, you found four pairs of glowing red eyes studying you intently. The hairs on the back of your neck and arms started to stand up.
"I mean it - get the hells away from us!" Astarion growled again, his hand blinding reaching back for you. You laced your fingers through his and a protection spell was on your lips seconds later, muttered quietly until you felt the magical aura surround him.
The rest of your companions were up on their feet after Astarion's shout, pushing in towards your bed, edging around it in a protective semi-circle. Most of them were scantily clad in only undergarments and nightclothes - but all of them had their hands glowing with magic or weapons drawn. Fury was etched on every one of their faces from the intrusion and threat.
One of the female vampires eyed the rest of your group, counting and calculating. Then she raised her hands up, "We come in peace, brother."
"You call this peace, Aurelia?" He frowned at her. Your grip on him tightened as you stood up and tried to go to his side, but he stepped in front of you protectively once again.
A male stepped forward slightly, his mouth and eyes ruby red with deep scars carved over his skin, trailing down his chin. It was a terrifying sight. But his voice did not match his appearance, and instead was laced with desperation and hope. "The master needs all seven us for the ceremony. Come with us and be reborn. We'll live again."
The suite remained deadly silent. Like you all were waiting to see who would make the first move, who would let loose a spell or swing a blade first.
But it was your meek voice that broke the silence, "How did you find us?"
Their red eyes snapped instantly to you, but it was one of his sister's who spoke. "Master Cazador has known where Astarion was this entire time — where both of you were. He has been watching carefully since you arrived in the city."
"You know what our master will do to them.” His scarred brother warned, nodding his head towards you. His eyes almost looked... sad.
“He won’t get the chance, Leon.” Astarion snarled back.
Leon raised his hands defensively, "We aren't here for them. We are here about the rite. The master needs you. You must attend."
Astarion scoffed, "Oh, I am well aware of what the master needs. But don't we all deserve better?" His features were contorted in a strange mixture of emotion. "After these centuries of torment, I know what you all want. More then power. More than to walk in the sun. You want to see him dead."
The desire for revenge, for Cazador's death, did not surprise you. He had said as much, and bluntly too. You had agreed that Cazador deserved such a fate after the years of abuse and exploitation he had forced upon Astarion.
"If you think I will be a willing sacrifice for him and his deranged ritual, you really are stupidly blinded by him."
"Sacrifice?" Aurelia stepped forward, shaking her head. "No, this is our way to cheat undeath."
"Is that the lie he told you?" He sneered.
"I-"
Astarion's lips curled up, "You're all fools. You think he cares about us? You think he will grant us such power? We are nothing but pawns to be slaughtered for the king — one final, grand maneuver so he can win the game."
His four siblings shook with disbelief. "The master doesn't need to lie to us. He controls us, fully. Why go through the trouble of giving us hope..."
Leon got there first, his face crumbling. "Because its more cruel... shit."
The vampires exchanged a look — a look between siblings that you knew well. One that you had shared with your own brother many times. A silent conversation had happened between them in an instant.
"That manipulative bastard." The other female finally spoke, her words a hiss between her fanged teeth.
"How did we not see this?"
Leon squared his shoulders, moving his red eyes to look back at his free brother. "Astarion is right... because we are blind fools."
"We must go before he compels us too— agghhh." Aurelia grabbed her head, her expression one of excruciating pain. "Aggghhhhh!"
"Take her." Leon commanded the other siblings who looped their arms around her, dragging her away as she fought them. But he lingered behind them for a moment, stopping to look over his shoulder and study the pair of you. To look at the rest of your companions surrounding you defensively. "Help us, brother." His voice was a whispered plea, his terrifying, red eyes wide and shining. Then with a loud crack and a sudden puff of red, they were gone.
A collective sigh escaped your party as they disappeared, spells extinguished and weapons dropped down to their sides before they turned to face both of you.
Astarion’s shoulders sagged as he realized his family had indeed left. He all but collapsed into your side, burying his face into the crook of your neck as you held him back. Really, as you held him up.
You stroked his hair as he murmured into your shoulder, “Tomorrow. This ends tomorrow.”
“Okay, my love. We’ll be with you the whole way.” You whispered into his pointed ear, returning the concerned expression of your companions watching as your hold on Astarion tightened a bit more.
• • •
Whatever you do... I just don't want to die down here.
Sebastian’s voice was echoing in his ears, his mind, and creeping down into parts of him he had just barely started to recognize again. Parts of him that a few months ago he had deemed long dead. He had to force his pink lips into a firm line just to stop them from trembling. 
This place, his so-called home was his personal hell. Every step through the fading carpets and ostentatiously decorated rooms had gotten harder and harder — until he had started to feel physically ill. Bile was rising in his throat, his back and palms of his hands turning clammy. And now, standing in the secret, buried crypt beneath — it felt like the castle above him was pressing down, screaming at him of what a luxury it had been that he was a prisoner up there and not down here. That voice in his head, that ringing, echoing voice. Gods, he wished it would stop. 
And you... you had been so uncommonly quiet. You who had lent him your strength since the moment he met you, you and your presence a steady reassurance that he had come to depend on. But his little moon who was usually so chatty and poetic, was so quiet. Your eyes were wide as you followed him through Cazador’s castle, your steps clumsy and dazed like he wasn't the only one walking through this twisted nightmare. Perhaps it was for you — realizing the realities of what he had been through.
When Astarion's composure had really started to shake, you snapped back to reality and were with him in an instant. Your warm fingers threading through his icy ones. Your voice, your soft, hushed voice using the smallest amount of words to try and put his cruel mind at ease. The words you had used were choice, but powerful. You insisted that all of this was Cazador's cruelty — not his. 
But how could he believe that as he stood in front of the cells filled with people he had brought his master? How could he deny the role he played in all of this when he could stare into the eyes of all of those victims — the stupid, innocent fools who in a fleeting moment fell for him. 
Especially when he realized how fortunate, how damn lucky, it was that he never stumbled on you on the streets of Baldur’s Gate the past year you'd lived in the city. 
Astarion stood before the precipice of Cazador’s ritual room. The grand doors that would lead to these final moments just a few steps away from him.
The fine outfit he picked for himself suddenly felt unbearably tight and itchy. The lacy neck scratching and digging into his skin, his leather shoes too restricting. He had wanted to use the clothes as a symbol to his old master — look how well I’ve done without you, look who I’ve become without you. His hands became fists at his sides, his knuckles white and half moons appearing on the soft skin of his palms as he squeezed tighter and tighter. The only way to stop them from trembling — with both fear and rage. 
“I'm here for you, love.” You whispered gently, your warm fingers ghosting the sides of his wrists as you stepped in beside him. His fists unclenched slightly as he breathed in your familiar scent, as he savored the soft caress of your skin on his. He pushed down the building sob climbing up through his chest, the urgency of the cry growing as he felt your presence surround him. "Just... remember who you are, Astarion." 
Who was he? It felt even blurrier in this sadistic crypt under the castle he used to call home. Though it never was one. A prison, that's what it was. 
And what version of him did you see? Could he really be what you thought you saw? What you thought he could be?
Astarion had left Baldur's Gate against his will — a tormented, violent, broken thing. A puppet. A slave. He thought he had returned to this city anew — a free male, softer around the edges but no longer a thing to be used. His own person.
Yet the second he felt the influence of Cazador's control, the moment he felt that familiar threat he felt as if he was falling backwards. Being backed into a corner, corralled into the cage and slapped into chains that he had rotted away in for two hundred years. 
He would not go back. 
A shudder went through him as he tried to compose himself once more, taking a deep breath that he knew he did not truly need. Looking sideways at you, he gave you a final nod. "I'm ready for this to be over." 
Something flashed in your eyes, but it was gone as fast as it appeared. You nodded, before following him through the grand doors with the rest of your companions trailing behind. 
The descent down those stairs was brutal. Time seemed to drag to such a slow that it was almost like the scene before them was frozen in time. Astarion could recognize the familiar silhouette of his master anywhere. It had haunted him long enough that he had memorized every harsh line and angle. He loosed a breath as he counted six figures bound and hovering by some form of magic — a seventh spot on the top center left open and waiting.
For him. 
"Could it be?!" The voice that plagued his thoughts, his nightmares and memories echoed throughout the large chamber. It sent hundreds of different feelings throughout his body, his flesh getting goosebumps and steps faltering for a moment on the stone stairs.
"Our prodigal son returned to us!" Cazador's voice was jovial, but there was no mistaking why. The final piece to his game had just delivered themselves to him, the sacrificial lamb for slaughter had seemingly come with no ill intent. 
Astarion would make the vampire bastard regret underestimating him.
He could hear you just steps behind him, the pads of your feet, the familiar thrum of your heart increasing as you both stepped closer and closer to Cazador's place on the central dais. He gritted his teeth, his back molars clenching down so hard he swore he heard a crunch in the back of his mouth. He lowered his head, looking up at the monster that had ruined him through his eyebrows. 
"Do not slouch before me, boy! Have you no respect for yourself?" Cazador snapped, waving his hand dismissively at him. "Look at you, crawling back after abandoning your family. You should be begging for our forgiveness."
"I will do no crawling, nor begging." Astarion snarled, baring his teeth slightly. "And forgiveness? Really? You have never forgiven anything. Every mistake, every slip was punished."
The bastard had the audacity to roll his red eyes, "I strove for perfection in all things — even those as imperfect as you. A pity you amounted to so little, despite my efforts." 
"No!!" He roared, stepping forward once more as he pointed his finger. "No, fuck you and fuck everything you've ever done to me!" 
Cazador raised a single dark brow before letting out a humorless laugh, "You stupid, little boy."
"You son of a bitch!" Astarion couldn't stop the explosion of anger that coursed through him and he charged forward. His pale hand formed a fist as he launched himself at Cazador but a flare of red magic suddenly froze him in place. His body stopped completely, caught mid-lunge with his fingers still curled in a punch. 
He heard a strangled whimper from behind him. It was you, the sound one he had rarely heard — one of you paralyzed from fear. 
But the master mercifully ignored you, only having eyes for his spawn. He smirked as he surveyed Astarion trapped in the swell of magic, "Tut, tut." He clicked his tongue, "Did you think it would be that easy?" 
Astarion let out a groan of pain as he tried to resist the red binding power that started to form around him. Tears began to prickle in the corners of his eyes as they began to squeeze and cut into his skin, seeping into him slowly like a dreadful poison. 
"Astarion!!" His name ripped out of you at his pained cries, stepping forward onto the dais to intervene. The agony in your voice was more unbearable then what he was currently suffering. 
He was a fool to bring you here, to ask you to help him. He had served them all to Cazador on a silver platter.  
“Oh?" The ancient vampire's voice had a hint of wicked glee in it as he turned on his heel and set his eyes on you, with the rest of your companions lingering just behind you. Like he had just finally bothered to notice your presence. "And who do we have here? Your little pet, Astarion?” 
You froze in place, but stood up slightly taller. He watched as you jutted your chin forward, setting your shoulders back as you refused to cower in front of him. Even if he could scent your fear from here.  Then the old master slinked around you, his chest almost brushing your back as he inspected you head to toe. Your jaw set as he circled behind you where you could not see, but you did your best to keep your face neutral.  “And what’s this?” Cazador asked with a flicker of false humor. 
Astarion hissed as the vampire stepped even closer, bending down to eye his puncture marks that had scarred on your neck. “You finally gained enough courage to feed from a being capable of thought? Congratulations, spawn.” Then he took in a large inhale, “And quite an appetizing pick too, they smell absolutely delicious."
His glowing red eyes snapped back to Astarion as he remained behind you, looming over your shoulder. He was gauging every reaction from both of you, he knew.
Studying. Calculating. Deducing. 
Like any manipulative vampire would.
"But it seems my dear boy, you’ve been double dipping with this one haven’t you?” He made to grab your silver hair and Astarion felt his mind go berserk.  “DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM!” He roared, pulling hard enough on the magical red tethers around him that they flared and flickered for a moment. 
An evil grin contorted his master's fingers as he still put his long fingers through your hair and pushed it behind your ear. The action revealed even more of your neck so he pressed his prominent nose against your pulse point, inhaling deeply. “Your scent is all over them.” You shuddered involuntarily, your face wincing and flinching away at his cold touch.
Astarion growled, his fangs barring and snapping at his old master. “Oh, so upset. They are your favorite little pet aren’t they?" A long finger nail dragged down your jaw. Astarion's eyes were glued to yours, your body seemingly immobilized from fear — for both yourself and him. Cazador cocked his head as he watched the pair of you before letting out a scoff. "You fool, you fell for your snack instead. What a pity... for once I was almost proud of you.”
He finally let you go, wiping the fingers that touched you off on his jacket like you were a worm he had picked up from the dirt. He licked his lips as he approached his spawn again, still frozen with his scarlet magic that buzzed and echoed with authority throughout the entire chamber.  “Well, I can give you one last comfort, since I am such a generous master." He whispered into Astarion's ear, both of their eyes locked onto your worried expression. "Once you and all your siblings are nothing but pulp... I’ll treat your special love extra carefully. I’ll be so lonely since the rest of you will all be gone. But this one… they will make for a delectable companion."
Another growl escaped from deep in his chest, but the sound was caught as Cazador wrapped his long fingers around his pale throat. “It’s a pity I have to lose you. So much work, so much time... gone. But my new companion will do a much better job than you, with a pretty face like that no one would resist? I mean, even you didn’t.” He hissed in his ear. 
"ENOUGH!” You barked, stepping forward closer to him with your mouth and brow set in a hardline. "Release him, Cazador, at once."
The bastard only smirked and snapped around to meet you, "Ha. Or what?"
"This all ends here. You end here." You did not stutter or stumble. Your voice was strong and carried across the chamber. Your companions stepped up behind you, hands moving at their sides as they readied their weapons and spells at your word. 
"Is that so? You are willing to risk death for him? A wasted, mistake of a spawn? A stupid, little boy?"
Your nostrils flared, your eyes shining with familiar power that was now coming off of you in waves, "I would do anything for him."
"Stupid mortal." Cazador barked, his lips curling in disgust. "I forgot how foolish you can be when you fall in "love". But not to worry... I'll train that right out of you." He twirled back around dramatically, looking at Astarion as he held onto his staff tighter. The red magic swirled and brightened around Astarion, squeezing him so tightly he felt as if may be crushed from the inside out. "You truly forgot my power, Astarion. You truly thought our bond as creator and creation was all that stopped you from killing me. You are weak, my child. You are a small, pathetic little boy who never amounted to anything. But today, you will finally do something worthwhile. You will burn, and I will ascend."
The vampire master flicked his wrist, and Astarion was soaring across the room — completing the final spot in the ritual circle. The entire chamber room suddenly lit up with the red light, a enormous sigils swirling underneath Astarion and the rest of his siblings as they hovered in mid air. Their tops suddenly shredded from the force of the spell as their naked, scared torsos were revealed — the scars littered across them glowing the same scarlet as the patterns beneath them.  
"ASTARION!" His name was a roar from your lips again as you surged forward, hands outstretched for him across the ritual floor.  
"Witness the birth of the Vampire Ascendant! Ecce dominus!" Cazador's staff slammed down onto the marked stone floor. 
And pain like nothing Astarion had ever felt went through every part of him. 
Read the next chapter: here
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lxvebun · 1 year
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gentle hearts
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request: would like to request megumi/yuji dating a reader that is very emotionally sensitive :) if you don’t feel like writing it that’s perfectly okay! I love your work <3
buns notes: hi angel!!thank you for requesting and for being so patient! I hope you like this as well and I hope you have a good day!
content: Sukuna/Yuuji/Megumi x gender neutral reader. Fluff + comfort. Kissing. Crying. Mentions of violence in Sukuna's part.(not towards reader) blood (sukuna). English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes!
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dc/dark blogs, k!nk and ed blogs do not interact or forever have bad wifi connection<3
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Sukuna
This was disgustingly self indulgent forgive me anon
♡-He really admires your sensitivity. He barely has any :)
♡-It piqued his curiosity that you feel everything so deeply. From love and happiness to grief and sorrow you carry these emotions on your sleeve, even if you don't necessarily want to.
♡-Although it makes him curious, it doesn’t mean he’ll purposefully make you emotional. He hates seeing you cry. He's done terrible things, made scenes that put everyone else whose eyes laid upon it guts twist, without as much as blinking. He doesn't feel anything when his hands are dripping in blood but God seeing you cry feels like his veins are starting to pump poison through his body and his non-existent heart is being ripped out of his chest.
♡-And he had to learn the hard way that storming over to you and harshly demanding what happened. Who made you cry? Give him names. Is not exactly the best way to soothe you.
♡-So when he sees you flinch and more tears start to spill out, his attitude immediately changes. He's the king of curses he knows that he can be terrifying and to some even uttering his name shoots fear into their heart, but you look at him with such a soft love-filled look, so much light and admiration, when he's with you he kinda forgets that he is so scary
♡-Don’t worry tho! every day he’s learning more and more about how to take care of you. So rest assured he’ll be there to wipe the tears away. And give you a big smooch for good measure.
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Yuuji
♡-Yuuji is honestly just like you. He feels everything strongly and deeply. At first it didn’t bother him, it was actually one of the traits he liked about himself. When he loved someone, he told them, which would lead to stronger bonds and when he needed to cry, he cried which after a good session would make him feel a lot lighter than he felt before.
♡-Now though, with everything going on in his life, and he quite literally carries the safety of the world on his shoulders, he hates the fact he feels everything so deeply. it's a constant state of happy and depressing emotions because he did meet Fushiguro, and Gojo, and Nobara, and he is sure his grandpa is proud of him, but he's already feeling the dread and fear of leaving this world, his friends behind. He's already afraid of what comes next and with every finger he consumes it just gets stronger. until you, ray of sunshine entered his life as well
♡-It’s nice to meet someone who was also emotionally sensitive, which lead to many late night conversations under the stars or on the floor of his bedroom, which eventually lead to your first kiss<3
♡-Whenever the emotions get to heavy to carry, just being around you overflows him with enough love to drown all these negative feelings out. Truly your presence alone is enough to soothe him and vice versa
♡-Yuuji is only one call away. If you need him he will be there as fast as he can
♡-It’s difficult being a sensitive person in such a cruel world, but as long as you and yuuji have eachother, you know you can survive it.
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Megumi
♡-He's quite soft-spoken which is great! His voice is calming and when he's letting those sickeningly sweet words of love and adoration for you fall from his lips, you're basically melting into a little puddle. But, when he's just talking normally, his voice doesn't carry a lot of emotion and neither does his expression. So it is pretty easy, especially for you, to start assuming he's annoyed or bored which with your heightened sensitivity isn’t great and it shoots you into a heavy spiral of overthinking that maybe you have upset him in some way which eventually leads you to  distance yourself
♡-STOP IT
♡-He recharges on YOU. One hour spent with Gojo or Yuuji drains him of his brain cells and energy and the only cure is you. So when you start avoiding him, distancing yourself from him, And he's not receiving his daily kisses and cuddles that he very much needs, the expressions and emotion in his voice become even more sour.
♡-He won’t let it go for long though, megumi is nothing short of persistent. He will give you puppy eyes. Please let him in
♡-And after you do open up to him, expect to be showered in precious little kisses all over your face along with soft whispers thanking you for letting him in and trusting him with this.
♡- Even if he does sound annoyed or he’s feeling a little irritated, you will never be the cause of it.
♡-As much as he tries he can’t really help his expressions and voicetone, BUT he’ll become a lot more physically affectionate to let you know, everything is okay. Even if he is actually annoyed or mad it's not directed towards you. Its towards Gojo ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎
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Thank you for reading bunnies!<3
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loosesodamarble · 8 months
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Hii Soda, Here I'm sending my best wishes for your well-being 🩷🩷 I might made some mistakes in my text, I hope that you don't mind them. I'm not a native speaker.
I wanted to make a one-shot request for Nacht Faust where the reader (who is also a Black Bull) despises his all-knowing personality, and how he scorns at the members. And she always talks back at him about his remarks about the members. But things escalate, I don't know how I didn't think this far 😭 I'd love to know what you can come up with this, I just want to read some fluff and see him happy 🥹🩷✨️
Hello there Anon~! First off, thank you for the well wishes, I do kinda need them at this moment. And don't worry about writing in your second language. I make tons of mistakes still land English is my first language. 😅
This oneshot turned into something a little on the long side. I couldn't think of how to make a romance between a critical reader and Nacht work without it feeling weird so I did something longer to show how the two grow closer (not quite a slow burn but the fluff isn't immediate either). It's part of why it took a bit to finish your request. It's probably not exactly what you were picturing but hopefully you still like it.
Summary: The progression of your relationship with Nacht is gradual and not very standard. But it still brings you two ever so close together. Genre: romance Word count: ~1800 A/N: This is a female reader, though female pronouns only come up, like, twice.
..........
“Tch, what a mess…” Nacht groaned after he walked into the base.
The scene he came across was the common area having turned into a war zone. It was a mess of broken furniture and spells being thrown across the room. The usual suspects of Magna, Luck, and Gauche were at play along with Vanessa, Zora, and Noelle. It appeared that there had been an especially nasty disagreement.
“These people really are no better, even after becoming the kingdom’s second ranked squad.”
“Quit giving commentary like anyone here cares about your opinion, vice bastard.”
Nacht turned his head in the direction of the voice. His eyes landed on you, leaning against the wall and glaring at him. Your presence made him tense the slightest bit.
The rest of the squad hesitated to interact with him. But not you. Even if you weren’t friendly with him, the fact that you approached him at all was something he appreciated. But because of your aggression, he was at a loss for how to reply.
Every time. Even now.
“If you really don’t want to bother with us, just quit the squad already,” you remarked before you walked past him and through the chaos, completely unaffected by it.
“Master Nacht… You’re staring at her again…” Plumede whispered in the back of Nacht’s mind.
“Yes. I know,” he said. Nacht felt like an utter fool. Why did his heart race with excitement from your glare? Why did he want to be nearer to you when you clearly resented him?
“Thanks for getting our order,” you said while handing payment over to the shopkeeper. You received the parcel and turned to Nacht.
His arms were full with bags of goods that you two picked up for the rest of the squad so he extended one of the less filled bags for you to slip the package into.
“I never expected you to be okay with being used as a pack mule,” you remarked as the two of you walked away.
“I only agreed to accompany you on the shopping trip. I never said I was okay with this kind of treatment,” Nacht replied.
“Yet you haven’t complained about carrying everything.” You quirked a brow in Nacht’s direction but all you got back from him was the same empty smile that he usually wore. You found it a shame that a pretty face like his didn’t express much emotion. “But now that we’ve picked up everything, we can head back.”
“We came by broom, but how about I transport us back with my Shadow Magic? It’s sure to be quicker,” offered Nacht and you immediately blanched.
“Hell no. I’m not getting sucked into that creepy void of yours,” you retorted.
It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Nacht or his magic. Okay, maybe it was a lack of trust. But after Nacht’s harsh behavior early on, putting your faith in his good will didn’t come easily. Plus, you considered yourself to be Nacht’s biggest critic in the squad. There was no way you were about to be buttered up.
“Alright then. I thought to ask instead of merely whisking you away without permission. And since you’ve declined…” Nacht veered from your side and into the shadows of an alleyway. “I’ll see you at the base then.”
���Huh? Where are you—?”
“Good day.” And Nacht was gone.
You blinked.
A part of you wanted to scream at his abandonment of you. Another part wanted to laugh because of the absurdity. And yet a third part wanted to stop and appreciate how he’d, somewhat clumsily, tried to be polite to you.
“He…” You placed your hands over your face, which felt warmer than usual. “He kinda sucks at being nice.”
Nacht put his signature at the end of a mission report then put it into a file with the rest of the paperwork that would be delivered to the Magic Knight Headquarters later that day.
The door opened and Nacht lifted his head to see who it was.
His heart skipped a beat upon seeing you enter, a tray of food in hand.
“I noticed you weren’t there for lunch,” you said by way of explanation.
“Lunch?” Nacht checked his clock and, indeed, it was long past the usual hour for lunch. “Ah…” He turned back to you. “Thank you for thinking of me.”
“We need to keep you fed and alive if we want any paperwork done around here,” you joked while placing the tray down. Due to your closeness, Nacht was able to make out a faint blush on your cheeks. Your eyes flicked in his direction. “What are you staring at, shadow stalker?”
“You’re hovering quite close,” Nacht coolly answered as he averted his eyes. “I couldn’t help it if you drew my attention.”
“Ha! Like I’d ever go out with you. I have a strict ‘no assholes’ policy when it comes to my dating pool,” you said with a wry grin.
Nacht raised a brow at your reply.
“First off, you realize that everyone has an anus so your pol—”
You smacked Nacht’s shoulder. Though it was clear from your bit back smile that you did find his remark funny.
“Since when did you know how to tell a joke?”
“I’m a man of secrets and surprises,” Nacht replied. “Secondly…” He rose from his seat and walked around his desk to you. “It’s awfully presumptuous to think I was staring at you with romantic intentions.”
“Uhp—!” You choked up and your flush darkened.
Feeling bolder than usual, Nacht placed his hand under your chin and coaxed you into looking up at him.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were the one who had an interest in me.”
Nacht’s heart fluttered at the idea of you liking him back. He wasn’t about to get his hopes up, not with the way you still threw insults and sarcasm at him on a daily basis. But he wanted to pretend.
You stayed silent for a moment, staring into Nacht’s eyes. It was cute, the wide-eyed look on your face. But Nacht also worried about what was running through your head. So he prompted you again.
“Well? Have anything to say for yourself?”
“Your cologne smells nice…”
Nacht blinked. “What?”
You blinked. “What?”
“You… pay attention to the way I smell?” Nacht felt his face heat up rapidly.
At that, your own face paled.
“What?! Shut up!” You yelled while stepping away from Nacht. “I’m not some creep! I just—! I just have a good nose! Shut up!”
You hurried out the door and your heavy footsteps were heard fleeing for a while.
Nacht blinked a few more times.
I don’t wear cologne, he thought. Then he grimaced. Oh gods, do I smell of something else? He raised his wrist to his nose. I probably can’t tell if I stink. I’d have to ask someone else.
“She was probably talking about your natural, masculine musk, Master,” Gimodelo said.
“I doubt it.”
Nacht touched a hand to his chest and tried to will his heart to calm down.
The Black Bulls were celebrating a day off, complete with alcohol and games once night had fallen. On Vanessa’s insistence, one of the games was 7 Minutes in Heaven with the choosing method being drawing lots.
You stared at the “1” drawn onto the stick you’d drawn. Meaning you’d be going first along with the person who’d drawn the other “1.”
“Alright, so who did I match with?” you questioned the group while showing your stick.
You scanned the group. Vanessa and Zora were already paired. Luck pumped a fist as he exclaimed how he and Magna had been paired off. Where was your partn—?
The second “1” stick was tapped against yours.
“I believe this means we’ve been paired off.”
Your heart leapt to your throat and you felt lightheaded as all blood rushed to your face.
Why him?! You were still recovering from your conversation in Nacht’s office the other day. And now you were supposed to be locked in a closet with Nacht for seven whole minutes? This is torture!
You shuffled into the closet with Nacht and plopped yourself on the floor without much care. It’s not like you had much dignity to bring into the situation.
After a few seconds, Nacht sat down beside you and you instinctively scooted to give him space.
“Don’t worry, we don’t have to kiss if you don’t want to,” Nacht whispered and you swore he sounded hurt.
The problem is that I actually do want to kiss you! You kept the thought to yourself, unable to think of a way to put it more… normally.
“Since we’re in here though, I’d like to make a confession.”
You dared to glance in Nacht’s direction but immediately looked away when you saw his bright red flush and the faint, relaxed smile on his face. It was an entirely different look to him and you feared your heart might burst because of how handsome he looked.
“I might sound ridiculous but I’ve liked you for a while now. You were critical of me and yet I was okay with it. Because you were right with how… flawed I acted at times. I like how unafraid and upfront you are without being reckless. And I’m glad we’ve grown closer so to speak and joke with each other a bit. It might sound strange but it’s true.”
At that point, you felt a firm thumping in your chest and your head getting light from the many beats your heart had skipped.
It was more than shocking to learn that Nacht had started loving you before you’d learned to go easy on him. Then again, you had started falling for him when he was still being distant and aloof.
Love worked in mysterious ways, you supposed.
You felt Nacht’s hand on your cheek so you faced him. Nacht smiled at you with a genuine grin full of warmth.
“I like you. I hope you’re okay with me saying that.”
“Nacht…” You finally found your voice. “It’s okay. I… like you too…”
The words hung in the air for the longest moment of your life.
You and Nacht… Alone in that small space…
Nacht cupped your other cheek, his hands were cold but soft against your skin, and leaned down closer to you. You fully turned your body toward him and placed your hands on his shoulders.
Then, your lips met Nacht’s.
The kiss was slow and soft. Neither of you were too eager, but neither of you were too afraid.
For a moment, you two were in sync.
And hopefully that one moment would become many more in the future.
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cocktailjjrs · 3 months
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Why does everyone hate Mori soo much!!!!
The show would be soo bland without his sorry ass interfering every now and then.
I actually like the way his character is presented!
(No hate please, if you don't like mori feel free to skip)
So I've been doing a bit research and kinda a character study for a fic i'm writing. And ofc Mori has a part in it.
And so, i go on and look through all his scenes. Read through a few fics to see his interactions with other characters. And do a bit on character analysis as a whole.
It baffles me how people just downright hate him or plain misunderstand his Character as whole.
Like, i don't usually try to defend characters online because everyone has their reasons and rationale, but the whole thing with Mori seems so absurd to me, because we've seen the villains do soo much worse!
Canonically speaking, while he has done some bad shit, he's not the worst in the series either!!!
BSD has always taken the 'it can't get any worse than this' phase and proved it wrong. Mori was supposed to be 1st/2nd season's antagonist.
And no, i don't mean to say that he is not evil. He is downright evil, a mastermind through and through. He's the Port Mafia's boss for gods sake, the most dangerous underground organization, he has a reputation to live up to!
Yes, he is a calculating bastard. He measures each and every move and knows about warfare in depth, and he wields his knowledge as a weapon very well.
Is he a paedophile? Maybe. It's been implied once or twice (if i'm not wrong)
Was his treatment of yosano wrong? Definitely! and he is an ass for that!
But he is SUPPOSED to be an ASS!!! That's the whole point of that character! And i believe those are the character that bring sooo much excitement to the storyline!
But everyone seem to have misunderstood his character soo much or just doesn't want to see the whole picture. And I used to think Chuuya was misunderstood!!!
You remember, when in 15, Dazai was given his first mission as a PM member and that time Mori said 15!Dazai reminded him of himself?
Now think back to what 15!Dazai was -
a teen
suicide maniac
a genius who has never been surprised
manipulative freak
acting carefree and harmless but having a killing intent hidden in plain sight
Now put it in this perspective,
Mori had a life before war that we have no idea about. He was a doctor. He was desperate to win the war by any means, even if it included bringing a child in the military camp, even if it meant keeping a death loop going on and on, even if it meant permanently traumatizing the soldiers.
But WHY?
Mori, as it has been stated multiple times, is someone who is always calculating and rational. He does not let his emotions overtake his decision making, thus making him cold towards others. But there must be a reason why he turned out to be so.
After war, he started working underground, creating a neutral zone for criminals. He knew Natsume sensei before that time. I always wounder why would Natsume entrust his vision to someone like Mori (along with Fukuzawa), if he was really a lost case.
After the whole fight with Fukuzawa over Yosano; he turned to take control of Port Mafia. Maybe he wanted to take Yosano with him then, to create an army of unstoppable ability users.
But the war was over. Then why would he need to do that?
Mori is one of those few characters whose backstory is not at all known to us. I can only think of Dazai and Fyodor other than him with no clear backstory. This makes him a dangerous wild card in a lot of situations. We saw that with Tachihara and Verlaine (completely different circumstances but instead of killing them he kept them close)
But then i read fics that depict him as feral and unhinged, portraying him as a predator who took advantage of poor poor Chuuya and/or Dazai, making them do horrible stuff without their consent.
Like, DID WE EVEN WATCH THE SAME SHOW?
Dazai and Chuuya have been unhinged wayyyy BEFORE they met each other or Mori.
Dazai is not some soft kid, who was physically and sexually assaulted, he was not made to behave tough with Akutagawa. And he certainly was not afraid of Mori. Does Dazai have PTSD related to Mori? Maybe, but in regards to Oda's death. That's it.
Chuuya is not someone who would sit still and take punishment from scalpels and whatnot because he fucked up a mission. Mori is not a fool to send Chuuya on a death mission just because he is afraid he'll take his place or to spite Dazai.
Does this bring a rather angst narrative to Soukoku? Yes it does. Does it make sense? if it's cannon compliant, no it does not!
Soukoku does not need Mori to be the bad guy to come together!
(i think he is no 1 Soukoku shipper himself)
He is not soft but he is not unhinged either. He knows how the ways of war work and he knows there can be no emotions involved if you have to win the war.
You don't always get such characters who are so morally grey, they do everything bad, they are supposed to be evil but still, the plot will be lost without them. Mori is such a great example of that.
Wanting to have peace and staying by the rightful path is all well and good. But where there is light, there will be darkness (because it's definition itself says its absence of light, so you can't exactly have one without the other). And without anyone to keep a check on that darkness, it will consume all.
Without Mori taking over Port Mafia, if we recollect how the previous boss had lead, Yokohama would have been way too bloodier and chaotic than it is now.
Plus, i don't think if Mori was such a bad boss, all of Port Mafia would jump in to protect him against agency during the Cannibalism arc. Hell, even if the grunts did not have a say in it, the executives and commanders did. And we saw them all - Chuuya, Kouyou, Kajii, Black Lizards; hell even Akutagawa and Higuchi were there! And that fight was after he had insisted no altercations with the agency.
My point is, can i have a normal representation of such a great character?
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lizzie-queenofmeigas · 3 months
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My Opinions Of TVDU In 2024
(They really haven't changed all that much but I feel like sharing)
–I loveeee Delena. Yep, I love this ship with all my heart and I'm not afraid to say it.
–I loveee Damon, probably another problematic opinion but I don't care.
–I don't like Caroline. There, I said it. She is just the kind of person that would irritate the shit out of me. Honestly, until season 8 I couldn't handle her scenes.
–Bonenzo is the best. Loveee it. They deserved better and I personally want to stab Julie Plec for how they ended.
–Bonnie deserved better. This is an universal truth.
–I hate Tyler, but I recognise that he was right to hate Klaus and right to be mad at Caroline for sleeping with him. Revenge on Klaus was kind of dumb, but understandable. He was right to want him dead.
–Klaus is my beloved, always going to be and I'm not even sorry.
–Marcel is a Mikaelson!!! Marcel is Klaus's son and his treatment is another reason for me to feel murderous to the writers of the shows.
–I don't like Kol. Yeah, he was right in many things, but he came across as somehow self-righteous and believed himself better than his family. Like bro, you aren't.
–Finn deserved better. I honestly still wonder if Finn knew about Klaus's real father, 'cause if he did Klaus would have a valid reason to hate him. I am saying this because in The Originals season 2 episode 3 we have flashbacks of young Klaus and the necklace Esther gave him. If I remember correctly Finn was always in the background and even retrieved the necklace when Klaus lost it. Given that Finn remembered Freya and what happened to her, it wouldn't be far fetched to think he knew who Klaus's real father was and hid it as well. That being said, he is a victim of his parents as well and deserved better.
–I hate Elijah. He just gives me the wrong vibes.
–Marcel and Rebekah made sense and I ship it. The Mikaelson family is insane with their romantic relationships, so they just sort of clicked.
–Kol should have taken the cure instead of Rebekah. Bekah could just adopt, but what is going to happen with Kol when Davina dies? Nothing good. Plus, he loved being a witch.
–Hayley and Klaus and Klaus and Cami made way more sense than Haylijah and Klaroline. Honestly and throuple with Klaus and the two women who call him out on his shit the most would have been chef kiss. Hope deserved two moms.
–Every Klaus ship made more sense than Caroline. Bonnie? Bennett witch and he likes witches. Aurora? First female vampire (other than Bex) and met him when he wasn't as he is now. Elena? Has Tatia's face, and I think if Klaus just tried to befriend her and explain why he needed to break his curse she would've helped. Camille? Her mind, she clocked him the moment they met, not to mention the O'Connell legacy. Genevieve? Powerful Witch. Hayley? Baby mama, werewolf princess and hybrid, not to mention they are similar. Stefan? The ripper days gave off fruity vibes. Damon? I love their scenes together, they have a similar vibe to them. Rebekah? He is literally killing her boyfriends left and right. Elijah? The codependency is strong here, Elijah's girlfriends have a higher mortality rate than Rebekah's boyfriends. Katherine? Tatia's face, also they are similar. Greta? Their few interactions in season 2 pointed to a thing going on.
–Elena is overhated. Baby has the biggest survivor's guilt in the universe and still she soldiers on. I hate when people said she was less compassionate as a vampire, I honestly thought she was the same. Like, she controls her hunger to become a doctor. She is too good for this world.
–Enzo should have been introduced sooner, Bonnie and him should have gotten together sooner.
–They should have explored Damon's trauma with Augustine more, and the fact that he always disregards his emotions.
–Klaus wolf side should have been explored!!!
–Unpopular opinion, but not everything Katherine did was necessary for her to survive. She could have easily contented herself with one Salvatore brother, but she had to go after both.
–Davina and Klaus needed more scenes together. I mean, that's her adoptive grandpa!
–Lily was awful, Damon was in his rights to not forgive her.
–I liked Valerie, and I liked her with Stefan.
–They should have explained more about Klaus ability to have children, 'cause that was weird. I loved it, but weird.
–Alaric should have died and the twins should have been raised by someone else.
–Matt lived too long.
–Jeremy and Damon were kind of funny.
–Bamon was really great.
–They should have addressed the fact that growing up Damon was the only one there for Stefan. We saw that in the flashbacks but they should have said it more.
–Damon purpose in life was to live for those he loved. My take on him.
–Damon was pretty humanity-full vampire until after Augustine when he turned off his humanity. But, five years of torture in the hands of humans would do that to a guy.
–The witches opinion on vampires were ridiculous. This species has been around for over a millennium, they are pretty assimilated in the magic ecosystem. I think their extinction would actually do more damage than their existence.
–Mikael and Esther deserved more pain.
–I think Dahlia only tried to negotiate with Klaus not only because he was Hope's father but because he was the only one who wasn't Mikael's son.
–Vampire/Supernatural politics are actually so interesting.
–Lexi was too hyped. And I don't get what she had against Damon in the forties.
–Legacies doesn't exist.
That's all. For now.
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dreamsnails · 8 months
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Hi! Im kinda new to tumblr and asking fanfic requests so please let me know if im doing something wrong! So I have a request for a sal fisher x GN reader (preferably headcanons but if you'd be more comfortable doing a oneshot that's also completely fine!) Where the reader doesn't really have any friends and has pretty extreme social anxiety? Like, they have hard time speaking in front of people they just met and get really fidgety and even sometimes have panic attacks? And they just really want to have friends and they get really mad at themself for not being able to keep or start friendships. Again sorry if I've made a mistake with requesting!
Oh boy, this one hits oddly close to home. I actually wrote (but then scrapped) a whole vent fic about Sal comforting someone (me specifically but I formatted it to be for anyone) who had a really rough day and is now thinking about every little embarrassing thing to ever happen to them but they don't know how to process or vent those emotions by themselves. I might go back and try to finish that and post it later if you're interested in fluff content like that, but for now here are my headcanons for this specific situation. I really hope you like them.
<3
In Public:
He’s always holding your hand. He makes sure to gently rub his thumb over the top of your hand, especially when he notices your warning signs. 
He never ever speaks over you, even if you’re taking a while to say what you mean.
He always invites you to hang out with his friends if he’s going to. If you don’t want to he won’t try to push you.
He will 100% complain about your order at a restaurant for you, but if you’re worried about causing a scene he always orders something you like for himself so you can switch if they mess up your food.
He carries little fidgets like small fidget cubes and magnetic beads in his pocket so you can have something to focus on when you’re overwhelmed or overstimulated. 
He comforts you and praises you quietly and away from people after you interact with receptionists or cashiers or strangers, especially if you feel you had a particularly bad interaction. He understands how much extra energy it takes you to communicate with others.
He understands if you can’t find the energy to do those things, too. He’ll talk for you if you ask him to and he would never criticize you for not being able to speak to someone. He’s proud of you for wanting to try regardless of if you succeed or not. 
He immediately removes you from crowded areas if you happen to have a panic attack in a public space. He’ll comfort you in whichever way you need. He has an arsenal of tools that you both brainstormed together to help you recover, and he’ll let you decide if you want to go home or continue in public after you do. 
He goes to your doctor’s appointments with you for moral support. 
In Private:
He will hold you forever if you will it. 
He will also give you plenty of space if you're overstimulated by too much physical contact.
RESPECTS. YOUR. BOUNDARIES. He NEVER pushes you when you're not comfortable with something-- from him touching you, to you not wanting to go somewhere, to you not feeling comfortable speaking to him at a particular moment. He knows you need patience and compassion and he gives you ALL of it.
He gave you his cellphone number, his dad’s number, his landline number, and Larry’s cellphone number so you can reach him no matter what when you need him.
He lets you borrow his shirts so that you have a part of him to comfort you when he can’t be around and he rotates them so they always smell like him. 
He writes you little notes about how much he loves you and how proud of you he is and hides them around your room when he visits for you to find later.
He’ll cater to your every need if you have an especially hard day at work or school. He’ll come over and build you a blanket fort, get you your favorite drink, and play your favorite games with you until you feel better.
When you become upset with yourself for struggling to talk to people and relate to people, he is always there to remind you about all of the amazing things he loves about you. He also lets you know how much he and his friends enjoy hanging out with you, and that they are your friends no matter what other people think about you.
If a friendship of yours falls out, he’s the first to remind you that you tried your best and that all relationships take two to last. There are people who love and care about you just the way you are, like him, Larry, and Ash (and your family, if you have a good relationship with them). Everything will be okay.
Even if it feels like nobody in the world cares about you, he will, no matter what. 
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