#every so often they make me so crazy I paint a picture about it

[wormvermin]

It hasn't been so easy being lonely...🎵

(Scene from this fic)

#dincobb #wormvermin art #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #every so often they make me so crazy I paint a picture about it #the mandalorian #din djarin #cobb vanth

[bridgetoesoteria]

🖤Breaking baddie🖤: Describing your 'dark feminine' energy. How to channel it?

Hola malacitas 😘 (i hope that actually made sense lol).

First things first, what is "dark feminine" energy?

Yes, this is the **first website that comes up when you google "dark feminine," but it is pretty thorough and comprehensive! I liked it the most out of all the others. The others either repeated the same points or had too many outdated/black-or-white views. Feel free to do your own research however. There are plenty of videos on YouTube as well. **One caveat...when you get to the part about tapping into DF energy, I disagree with #8 (specifically).

(We're going to keep this post light and I'll dedicate a separate post to my personal viewpoints.)

So I will be telling you all about your personal DF "archetype." I will also provide guidance on how you channel your DF energy.

I am so so excited for this! Eek 🙊 Okay, options below, left to right. I hope it resonates!

I am using a few different decks. I won't be adding pictures but I will provide what cards I drew.

Pile 1

Off the bat: I am hearing "no fuss" and also "ruthless," which is interesting considering the image you chose. I was also hearing the lyrics "all I do is win, win, win no matter what." So I'm getting some really bad ass energy right away! Come thru mob girlies!

4-Card Spread: 4 of Diamonds, 8 of Diamonds, 7 of Hearts, Joker. Bottom of deck is 6 of Clubs.

It's funny you have the 6 of Clubs (wands) on the bottom of the deck. I was hearing those lyrics about winning. This is a card that signifies victory and public recognition or celebration. I feel like the DF side of you is really bad ass! I'm also getting a pinch of "lover girl" energy. Its kind of like you have perfect formula sugar+sheist+everything nice! lol

This energy isn't afraid to be in the spotlight but is also quite comfortable in the shadows. You may be (or this is what other people think) the type to use underhanded to get ahead. Its not personal but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm also getting an energy of it is easy for people (I'm hearing "dudes" so maybe some of you talk like that) to get attached and feel led on. But I think you are married to the hustle.

Some of you may not regularly reside in this energy and could be put off by the description. But that is exactly why its dark feminine energy. It pokes and antagonizes the status quo, which is where most of us reside from day to day. Traditionally, feminines are not painted as cunning, street-wise, heartbreakers. Your DF energy pushes back against those constraints placed on feminines that require prioritizing the group over self. Not that anyone asked but I think that's actually kind of amazing.

Of course you don't have to reside in this energy and adopt some toxic alter ego, but there probably are some gems hidden here. People who move like this are usually made, not born. In some way, they learned that survival=competition, so you learn to "stay ready so you don't have to get ready." Your motto as a DF would be "every (wo)man for themselves," making betrayals feel less personal because...well it just isn't, as crazy as that sounds.

Advice: The Devil, Queen of Swords, King of Wands, The Star. Bottom of deck is 7 of Swords + Mute (Oracle)

I'm getting a strong message about speaking up. I am using Tarot de Carlotydes and in this deck the 7 of Swords is depicted as a sword swallower. Which I always interpret as "swallowing" the truth. Then as I was focusing on this group's image, I realized the cabinet behind her is full of skulls, reminding me of "skeletons in the closet." Then finally we have a literal Mute card:

The Mute is told what to hear, say and think and is often suppressed. Sometimes breaking the chains against heeded words may be rewarded.

So you currently may be the complete opposite of your DF energy. One of the keywords for the Mute is "insecurities." I feel like a lot of you are sleeping on yourselves. 🔊AND ITS TIME TO WAKE THE F UP!

Maybe you are trapped in your light feminine energy. I say trapped because it feels like you are forced into that box. Super passive, loss of control. Where your DF energy would insist on speaking up and standing out, you may just keep your head down and avoid any trouble.

I'm hearing specifically that some of you love writing poetry but may have someone who discourages you from pursuing this interest. You may want to present your poetry to an audience and they tell you that no one wants to hear what you have to say. For others, they are saying no one wants to hear from you about something else.

If you are used to toxic and restrictive connections or friendships, you are being called to step out of that. Get used to asserting your boundaries, "do not speak down about my hobbies," "if you cannot allow me to think for myself, then we can not continue our relationship." I think you definitely have it in you.

Another keyword listed is "hope." I think some of you may enjoy singleness and being single-mindedly focused on you and your goals, more fulfilling than you think. It can be healing to finally feel like the star of your show.

TL;DR: Your DF energy definitely has a bit of edge to her. She does what she has to do to move ahead and she prefers to fly solo. Even if that is not where you are right now, this energy already exists within you. Once you drop the dead weight--be it toxic family, toxic friends, or a toxic partner--you will see how quickly you flourish. You have every right to speak your truth and protect your peace. Its time to peel yourself off the wallpaper and start standing out and speaking up!

Pile 2

Off the bat: I wasn't getting anything with this group. I found that strange and wondered if I wasn't "tuned in." I think this represents your mental space when you are in your DF energy. You are clear minded and have a "sober" outlook. Maybe some of you are literally sober or are considering it.

4-Card Spread: 2 of Clubs, Queen of Spades, 8 of Spades (R), Ace of Hearts/7 of diamonds. Bottom of deck is 9 of diamonds.

I am very strongly getting that there is something noteworthy about your DF's decision making abilities. Maybe that sounds "boring," but its actually pretty admirable! The world often sends the message that feminine energy does not possess strong cognitive abilities. When feminines contradict this stereotype, they can be labeled as "cold," "mean," "masculine," or met with hostility.

I'm honestly getting that the DF in you does not care. You may naturally lean more to this side in every day life. Or this is where you could be if you tapped into your DF energy more often.

You make clear decisions and keep it moving. You do not allow your thoughts to keep you tangled up in a web of confusion and indecision. Some of you could be really good at chess. I am getting that kind of energy. Calculated, self-assured, and making decisions with no intentions of taking it back.

You are quite comfortable standing on your own, and pouring into your own little world. I get the image of a woman who lives on a quiet estate, walking through her garden, with birds chirping and flying above. Have any of you watched the movie Men (2022)? I loved the imagery in that film and that's kind of the vibe I am getting now. A lot of horse girlies may have picked this pile.

I feel you being very unbothered, above drama. Your DF energy would love to find a masculine that can match your energy. You are good on your own so you won't allow anyone disruptive into your peaceful little domain. You do not make impulsive decisions in love and you are willing to wait for a new opportunity that is worth the investment. With the king of diamonds two cards under the 9 of diamonds, I do feel like this DF energy could pull the kind of masculine you desire.

Your DF energy really shines in STEM related jobs, corporate spaces, or any position that requires a sharp mind.

Advice: Ace of Swords, 10 of Swords, 4 of Wands, Knight of Cups. Bottom of deck is 10 of Wands + Spider (Oracle)

As soon as I pulled the ace of swords, I heard "get used to speaking your truth." I also heard stop entertaining "little boys." I don't think this is in terms of age, I think this referring to the maturity level of masculine energies you may usually deal with. I am in no way encouraging that you pursue anyone older. (Honestly, that does not guarantee emotional maturity or respect. But that's another convo).

I think this message is about the expectations you set for your partners. There is nothing wrong with expecting them to match you. They can either rise to the occasion or be left behind. If you hold this potential inside of you to be a queen of swords, queen of pentacles, and 9 of pentacles. Then I'm sure that energy exists out there in a suitable counterpart. The ten of wands is encouraging you to keep forging forward. I don't like preaching to be "strong" and "endure," but this is different. You are being strong for yourself. If you have to walk alone right now, it gets tough at times, but you are doing it with purpose. It will pay off.

For some this may literally require you to live alone. Its interesting that I keep getting messages about homes. I got a lot of diamonds/pentacles in the last spread, which also can deal with the home and related practical matters. "Home" is one of the keywords for Spider. The Moon is on the bottom of the deck, I think it is also relevant. This is what the guidebook has to say about each:

The Spider traps those who wander into her web. Keywords: Control, Home, Familiarity, Comfort, Trapped, Security. The Moon is not always as she seems. Her delicate glow seeks for hidden truths while blinding others to her own. Keywords: Confusion, Apprehension, Suspicion, Feelings.

You may need to be more discerning when it comes to who you let into your home and/or your heart. You might need to create a little confusion when it comes to what your next move is. Everyone does not deserve your energy or to be held on to.

Spiders can also be associated with anxiety. In regular tarot, I do consider the moon to be a card that can speak about mental health. So some of you may need to make these changes for your own sanity, literally.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a very strong and self-sufficient queen of swords type. She thinks clearly, can make decisions without questioning herself, and always stands on business. She has high standards for those who come around her because she has built a beautiful life for herself and will vet anyone who wants to join. This self-respect and authenticity helps to attract a suitable mate. One who can match this go-getter, no bs energy. The key to channeling this energy is to start living in it now. Trust your decision making abilities, don't announce or seek validation before you make a necessary personal decision. Staying true to yourself and becoming more independent will pay off.

Pile 3

Off the bat: When I looked at the image for your pile, I immediately heard "I'm not one of those/your little girls." So whew! We are coming in hot! Also hearing "I wish a b---- would."

4-Card Spread: 7 of Hearts, Jack of Clubs, 2 of Clubs, Joker. Bottom of deck is 5 of Hearts.

I am getting more light-hearted energy in this pile than the previous two. Maybe a lot of young, or young-at-heart, people have chosen this pile. This DF energy could easily pull many suitors but she views lovers as more of a "fun time," not so much a "long time." You could also be a little toxic toward lovers. Makeup to breakup, or honestly sometimes its just breakup lol.

This energy is quite fiery and uninhibited. Some of you could be fire signs, specifically Sagittarius. Or I am getting that because of what Sag represents: free spiritedness, adventure, luck. No wonder this DF energy resists being tied down. The world is literally your oyster and you knows it!

This DF energy is also a little scrappy. Have any of you watched the Bad Girls Club? You know how there would be that one person who has a temper, then gets a little too messed up when they go clubbing and ends up wanting to fight everyone... When you see red, people need to clear your path! I do get a bit of a party girl energy which is not surprising considering I was picking up on Sag.

This DF does not have a problem fulfilling her emotional needs. You will always make sure your cup is full. You will always make sure you are having a good time. You realizes that you have this amazing, fortunate energy and unapologetically harnesses it to get the most out of life. I think your DF self is also likely to be single and happy that way. Picking yourself up after disappointments in love is no problem because there are plenty more where they came from. You have an abundant mindset when it comes to love and life.

Advice: Queen of Wands, The Hanged Man, Ace of Swords, 5 of Cups. Bottom of deck is 5 of Swords + Ghost (Oracle)

In order to channel this DF energy, some of you may literally have to ghost someone. I am not surprised the energy of having to cut people off has been coming up. Sometimes the company we keep can really hinder our growth and self-expression. The hanged man is about surrender and next to the ace of swords, I sometimes see this combo as maintaining no contact. Ghost could also be taken literally.

But I think Ghost is also talking about a tendency toward self sabotaging and shrinking yourself. This is the total opposite of the DF energy that I just channeled. Its like the past and your insecurities have a tendency to haunt you and keep you stuck. You may also try to make yourself invisible. In the guidebook, the word forgotten repeats itself twice for this card:

The Ghost lingers, forlorn and forgotten. Keywords: Hidden, Mystery, Forgotten, Spiritual Matters, Fears, Faith

You will need to work on your self-confidence. When you are more confident in yourself, you will be more confident in your decision making abilities. You will be more authentic with the way you present yourself to the world because it won't matter whether people approve or disapprove. You know who you are. With the 5 of cups, there could be something that you are still grieving or regretting but you can bounce back from this! Channel your inner phoenix and allow yourself to blossom. Its time to reinvent yourself!

Be open to all the great things life has to offer you. Guided meditations for gratitude and self-confidence/self-love could be very beneficial. Trust that the flow of life is always leading you to something wonderful. Trust that you are allowed to call the shots in your reality. Do your part then trust and let go.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is very spicy! She is popular and free-spirited. She knows that life has so many different adventures to offer and she does not let anything stop her from exploring them. This DF is likely to be single or somewhat noncommittal. She does not mind flying solo and knows she can always find another mate. She is also quite lucky and manifests fortunate events with ease. To channel this energy you will need to drop any dead weight and increase your confidence in yourself and your decision making abilities. You could benefit from some form of self-help resources like books and guided meditations. And if it is accessible to you, therapy, support groups, or other resources that will help your create a stronger you.

Pile 4

Off the bat: I am getting a pretty serious energy. Some domme energy or you could just be a pretty dominant woman. This could be describing you or your DF energy. I keep hearing strawberries and champagne. Is that even a real thing? I've never met anyone who enjoyed that combo.

4-Card Spread: 4 of Clubs, Jack of Diamonds, Ace of Hearts, and Ace of Spades. Bottom of deck is Queen of Spades

I am still getting some of that super assertive and stern feminine energy. I could see your DF self working being a principal. I am also hearing headmaster/headmistress. I think she would love working with children but not in the traditional, mushy-gushy light feminine way. Its more of a "I have/enforce rules because I love you" type of energy . You believe in structure and order. If this isn't working with children, this could also apply to raising children. I could also see this DF running an orphanage. I did hear "rule the roost" while I was shuffling, so no matter how this resonates, you definitely are not afraid to lead.

You are generous and wise. Beneath the stern exterior is a lot of love and compassion. Your soft spots are not visible until you take a closer look at what you invest your time and energy into. This kind of energy could also attract less mature suitors, because it intimidates them yet they are so infatuated. You carry yourself with grace and probably won't entertain them. You are much more suited to be their mentor than anything.

Going back to the original domme energy I was getting. You may actually prefer partnerships that allow you to wear the pants. You don't really want a masculine energy coming in and dictating to you. You can run your own life just fine and would rather partner up with someone who can understand that. I don't think you want someone that is "weak" either, its more like you desire the cliche of the masculine that calls the shots in the board room but is more submissive/passive at home. They are secure enough to be with a feminine energy as strong as them.

Some of you as DF would be comfortable living a "nontraditional" life. Nontraditional as far as feminine energy is concerned anyway. You may prefer live-in partners, or life partners, over traditional marriage. You could identify with being poly or something similar. You would love to travel and always seek to broaden your horizons. This is the type of person you would expect to have "summer homes." You could also decide to not have children or you would want to wait on having/adopting children. You love living authentically because of how freeing it is to just be you. You don't care what outsiders think of your life because you know you are doing what works best for you.

Advice: 3 of Swords, 5 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, Queen of Wands (R). Bottom of deck is The Devil + Soil (Oracle)

To channel this DF energy more, you will need to master the art of not giving a shit. Some of you could be currently suppressing this energy. I really don't think its that far out of reach for all of you. Its just your fear that is keeping you trapped.

For some of you this trapped feeling is because you are in the closet. I am not telling you to come out because I don't know how that would impact your life. I want you to stay safe! However, maybe you can seek out queer friendly spaces. Or spaces that are supportive of whatever group you identify with.

There could also be a heartbreak that has left you questioning yourself. In the Tarot de Carlotydes, the 9 of swords is depicted as a woman chained in a dark room, with a flower in her hand and broken heart drawn on a piece of paper. I always see this card as being tortured over a disappointment. In this particular deck, I see as a mental prison that you feel trapped in because you are clinging to and rehashing an event. Holding onto this event keeps the pain fresh or recurring. It is time to release it.

Do not internalize other people's actions and shortcomings. It is not a reflection of you. You are who you decide to be. Do not dim your shine for anyone. Do not stunt your growth either. I'm not sure what it is that is holding you back but you have the potential to be the brightest star! You can be strong, and confident, and assertive. There is this little ball of power inside of you, that can grow if you allow it. Soil echoes the same message I am seeing in tarot. You must let yourself bloom:

The soil is a conduit of both growth and decay. Eyes forward, rooted to the past and reaching to the skies, she'll grow. Keywords: Balance, Forward, Growth, Duty, Building.

Some of you may use less than healthy tactics to cope. Maybe you should think of yourself like a plant. What are you fertilizing your soil with? What are you using for watering? Put the best in, get the best out.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a L-E-A-D-E-R, okay?! She calls the shots in every area of her life. Some suitors are attracted to her because their immaturity is infatuated with her self-assured, mature energy. However, she prefers an equally strong partner at her side but this does not mean she wants to be led. No, she wants someone that respects her as an equal but allows her to take the lead. She lives life on her terms, loves on her terms, and does not care what anyone else thinks of that. She does have a soft spot but that is not for everyone. This nurturing energy could be channeled into working with children in some capacity. In order to step into this energy, you will have to untether yourself from insecurity and heartbreak. You already have this power inside of you, its only a matter of letting it grow. You don't have to deny what you have been through or the way it impacts you, but it also does not have to hold you back. Replace your unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthy ones.

As previously stated, I have a planned post that will expand on my views about feminine energy and other spiritual topics. I am really looking forward to sharing my thoughts and hope you all will chime in! I would love to start a discussion.

Until then ❤

~ K

#pick a card #intuitive readings #spirituality #tarot reading #oracle reading #pick a pile #tarot #oracle cards #tarot community #hecate #goddess lilith #dark feminine energy #spiritual awakening #shadow work #divine feminine #feminine energy

[kazumist]

ARTISTIC BOYFRIENDS .ᐟ

✩ — in which you're their muse in their respective specialties in art.

✩ — includes: kazuha, albedo, xiao x gn!reader. fluff i think,, it's nothing sad dw dw. no cws. wc: 594. writer!kazuha, painter!albedo (this is canon i know i js wanted 2 tag), photographer!xiao. reblogs and feedback are very much appreciated!

kazuha — !

anyone would be astonished at the way kazuha makes literature. there’s just something about his writing style that makes you go crazy in his works. the way he describes things and makes people envision it makes your head spin in a good and addicting way. there’s one thing that’s very noticeable in his works, it’s the way it would always be dedicated to someone.

you were the greatest thing to ever happen to him. it wasn’t like his life before he met you was dark (in fact, it was decent). it’s just that when he met you— when he fell in love with you, his life became brighter than ever. 

small dates in the park with you laying on his lap while he comes up with random haikus that’d describe you. you honestly wonder how he can never run out of those flowery words that spill from his lips every time he writes.

kazuha wishes for this to never end. but if he were to lose you then he’d never fall in love again after that. it will always be you.

albedo — !

from small doodles from afar, to sketches of you on a restaurant’s tissue, and now to a canvas where colors would show how they can express the way albedo views you. enchanting.

if the two of you had free time together you’d often hang out in an art studio. always bringing coffee together while you giggle quietly to each other on the way there. flowers in hand (that was picked up before you went to the studio, albedo said he had an idea for a painting).

“‘bedo?” you call him and he answers with a hum. “don’t you ever get tired of painting me?” you asked him. albedo put the paintbrush in hand down and walked towards you who’s sitting on a stool not far from him. he said your name softly while stroking your face and tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“i’ll never get tired of painting you. even if my hands were to be bruised and tired, i’ll never stop painting you.” 

xiao — !

late night walks around the city hand in hand, driving to visit views that no one has dared to see at night, that’s how you and xiao spend time.

polaroid pictures were your favorite. so xiao would always bring a polaroid camera with him. taking stolen shots of you, some shots with you posing in a silly way, and shots where you just looked… peaceful and pretty.

a polaroid love is what you have. making notes on polaroid pictures while hanging them around at your place, making cute little doodles on them which eventually turns into you and xiao running around trying to draw on each other.

he loves your smile, it makes him smile too. if you’d ask him “why are you smiling?” he would reply with “since i got to see you. you put a smile on my face.” although it was cheesy, for him, there’s just something about the way you smile. it’s comforting.

xiao was scared at first, because he realized that he loves you more than he thinks. he falls in love with you over and over again, as much as it’s a bit exaggerating to hear. the more he gets clingy, touchy, and affectionate, xiao knows he’s falling even deeper.

he scooted closer to you, arms on your waist and face on the crook of your neck. “i love you so much.” he murmured against your skin. “i love you more, xiao.”

“i love you most.”

#( writings ) #astronetwrk #favoniuslibrary #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #kazuha x reader #albedo x reader #xiao x reader #kazuha #albedo #xiao #i love the idea of xiao or childe being a photographer student #it was supposed to be childe tbh. ill js write him next time #xiao's longer than i expected pls dont ask he started the whole brainrot .... i wont him #im not proud of this even though this has been a wip for MONTHS

[ailendolin]

Grace - The Epilogue

Title: Grace [AO3]

Characters: Thomas, Alison, Mike, Baby Cooper, the Ghosts, the Plague Ghosts

Summary: “Mike and I are going to have a baby.”

Baby Cooper’s arrival at Button Houses changes many things, and all for the better - at least at first. Or as Mary once said: babies can see ghosts sometimes but usually only up until they can walk.

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - Epilogue

————

A/N 1: This was written before series 5 so there are no spoilers in it.

A/N 2: I want to use this opportunity to give a huge thank you to everyone who has been following this story for over a year now! Your support means a lot to me! I hope you enjoy the epilogue!

————

Grace

The Epilogue

Grace Katherine Cooper has always known she’s just an ordinary girl living a very special life.

She knows that to an outsider, it looks like it’s just her, her mum and her dad living in an old, run-down house in the middle of nowhere, trying to make ends meet by hosting dinner parties, weddings, birthdays and every other kind of celebration one can imagine. Her whole, she’s heard people saying things like, “Oh that poor girl, growing up so isolated,” or, “That child must be so terribly lonely on her own in that big, empty house.” They think she doesn’t hear what they whisper about her and her family behind her back but she does. It’s never really bothered Grace, though. On the contrary – most of the time, it makes her giggle and she has to bite her lip to hide it. Oh, if only they knew …

She’s not surprised people think her childhood is lonely but considering she’s never felt alone for even a second in her life, she finds the pitying looks on everyone’s faces when her mum and dad take her into town more than a little amusing. She may not have any siblings by blood but she has a ghostly sister who likes singing songs with her in the pantry and more than a dozen crazy aunts and uncles who play games with her whenever she gets bored and are the best at making her smile even when she feels like screaming and throwing something against a wall.

She also has Thomas.

Grace knows she shouldn’t have favourites but he is her godfather so she thinks that makes loving him just a little more than the others okay. Her mum reassures her that it is, and that the other ghosts don’t mind her keeping his doll in her bed while theirs sit on the shelf above it, watching over her; or that a large amount of the paintings lining her bedroom walls feature him.

Her mum made those paintings for her over the years and Grace loves every single one of them dearly. Every time she looks at them, she can see herself growing up more loved than most people will ever be in their entire lives. The fact that the ghosts always stay the same in the pictures has often brought her comfort, especially when nightmares about losing her parents startle her awake in the middle of the night. The ghosts are as much a constant in her life as the sun, moon and stars are, and even though she can’t see them like her mum can, Grace knows they are there. She can see it in the flicker of the lamp on her bedside table when she reads and feel it in the gentle touch of fingers on the tip of her nose when she daydreams instead of doing her homework. She can hear it in the faint echoes of an old nursery rhyme ringing through the hallways and smell it in the smoke hanging invisible in the air. The ghosts are always there, always present, and as long as they are, Grace knows she will never have to be afraid of being alone.

That doesn’t mean her life is always easy, though.

The other children don’t understand. They humoured her at first, back in nursery school when they were still young enough to believe in imaginary friends and find the idea of having a ghost family exciting. With the start of primary school that changed. They stopped believing in ghosts, and Grace suddenly found herself being told to stop being childish and grow up. She refused because she was not being childish – her ghosts were real! – and it broke her young heart when slowly, all her friends turned away from her. Only Julie and Emmett stayed, and she was grateful beyond words they still wanted to come over to play hide and seek with her and Kitty in the garden. A part of her knew even back then that they were the best living friends she’ll probably ever have – possibly the only ones, too – and she swore to herself that she would hold onto them as tightly as she could and for as long as they’d let her.

As she grows older, Grace stops telling people about the ghosts. She’s not embarrassed but she’s so tired of everyone calling her and her mum crazy. It makes her blood boil every time until one day, her anger spills over and she punches Kevin McMillan in his smug, little face for saying she’s a witch and should be burned at the stake. Her parents are not happy about it and neither is Grace if she’s being honest. It doesn’t really make her feel better and it solves nothing so the next time someone says something awful to her, she decides to walk away. She has Julie and Emmett who think it’s so cool when Robin makes the lights flicker and Jemima sings for them, and that’s enough.

No, Grace thinks to herself when she hangs up a photograph of the three of them on her wall in-between the paintings of the ghosts. It’s more than enough. It’s all she needs.

Not only do Julie and Emmett accept that the ghosts are real and a huge part of her life, they’re also almost as desperate to communicate with them as she is. While Julian is able to use the laptop – something that often comes in handy when Grace’s mum is not around to translate what the ghosts are saying – his typing is still so terribly slow after all these years that it’s exhausting to have a lengthy conversation that way. So together with Julie and Emmett, Grace tries to find new ways of talking to the ghosts.

Their first idea is inspired by those programmable buttons for dogs and involves an old Ouija board they find in the basement and a lot of little lamps. Julie, being the technical genius she is, somehow attaches one of them to every letter on the board while Grace and Emmett cheer her on and offer her snacks throughout the process. Once she’s done and sure every single lamp works, they go off to find Robin to give the board its first test run.

Robin takes to it like a fish to water.

It only takes him a few tries to figure out how to turn on the different lamps and Grace is absolutely delighted to have her first conversation with him that doesn’t rely on her mum being in the room and repeating what he says or Robin making the lights flicker in Morse Code to get a message across.

(Her mum once told her how proud Pat and the Captain were that she took their recommendation to heart and spent her first summer holiday learning Morse Code. It made the headaches her efforts gave her more than worth it.)

Being her father’s daughter, there comes a point in her life when Grace looks up ghost-hunting devices on the internet, just on the off-chance that one of them might actually work for one of the ghosts she hasn’t been able to talk to directly yet. So when her twelfth birthday comes around, she asks her parents for ghost-hunting equipment rather than conventional presents.

“Oh honey, we already tried that,” her mum tells her with an apologetic look after she has scanned the list Grace has handed her.

“Yeah, we had a bunch of ghost-hunters with all sorts of tools here once. None of them worked,” her dad adds.

Then they pause and share a look that gives Grace hope. “Although the ghosts were boycotting the whole thing at the time so …”

A few days later, just in time for her birthday, two ghost-hunting devices get delivered to their doorstep. Her mum and dad put little bows on them and Grace almost squeals in delight when she sees them waiting for her when she comes home from school. By the time Julie and Emmett arrive an hour later, she’s read the instructions twice and set up the devices in the drawing room, ready and eager to try them out.

“The ghosts are here,” her mum says and then pauses to look at the empty air behind the chessboard. After a moment, she rolls her eyes and adds, “Yes, I’ll tell her that you’re here too. Grace, the villagers want you to know they’re here as well and very excited about the whole thing.”

It warms Grace’s heart.

“Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work, though,” her dad cautions just as they’re about to try out the first device: an SLS – Structured Light Sensor – camera which is supposed to make the ghosts visible on a screen in the form of stick figures and give them all an idea of where they are in the room. “It’s a long shot.”

Grace smiles up at him. “I know, Dad. I just want to give it a try. Just in case”

With that, she turns on the device. Despite her dad’s warning, she feels a rush of disappointment when no stick figure appears on the screen. She waves the SLS around the room, even turns around in a circle to make sure she doesn’t miss anything, but the result is the same: screen remains woefully empty.

“Yeah, it’s really a shame,” her mum says in reply to something the ghosts must have said. She’s looking at the fireplace and, figuring it’s worth a try, Grace points the camera in that direction.

Nothing happens.

Hating how upset she feels despite having always known this was a long shot, she is about to turn off the SLS when suddenly, something pops up in the corner of the screen. Her eyes widen in disbelief as she looks up at the empty wall next to the door to the library and back down at the device. Next to her, Julie and Emmett start jumping in excitement.

“Oh my god, it’s working!” Julie says breathlessly.

“Is that Humphrey?” Emmett adds with a tilt of his head.

Grace laughs, giddy and full of relief. “It is!”

Her mum turns to them with a look of surprise. “How did you know?”

They grin and point at the stick figure on the screen. “It’s got no head!”  

Apparently, Humphrey’s head doesn’t find that as funny as they do.

They experiment a little. Her mum asks Thomas to place Humphrey’s head on its body and the moment head and body reunite, the stick figure gains a head as well. But when the head is on its own, it doesn’t show up on the SLS at all, no matter how close Grace gets to it with the device.

Meanwhile, Emmett is furiously scribbling down every little detail of what they learn in the little notebook he always carries around with him when he visits. He’s been recording everything ghosts-related for years now and Grace would be lying if she said she doesn’t find that a little endearing. Apparently, the Captain, Pat and Lady Button approve of his meticulous note keeping. Humphrey on the other hand – the head, that is – seems to be a tad annoyed that the record now shows that only his body can be seen on its own.

“He says it’s unfair and – yeah, no, I’m not going to repeat that,” her mum glowers at the piano.

Julie chuckles and sits down near Humphrey.

“Don’t worry,” she tells him with a smile. Grace can’t help but smile as well because she knows what’s coming. Humphrey’s always been Julie’s favourite. “We still love you, Humphrey.”

There is a beat of silence before her mum says, “Humphrey says thank you.”

The second device they try out is an Ovilus – a small tool with a dictionary mode that’s supposed to allow ghosts to talk to the livings. It’s apparently similar to the spirit box but less annoying – Emmett’s words, not Grace’s.

“This better work,” her dad mutters when he hands the Ovilus to Grace. “That thing cost a small fortune.”

Like with the SLS camera, nothing happens at first when she turns it on. But before disappointment can settle in once more, her mum raises her voice and says, “Not all at once, guys! Please! One at a time.”

Grace assumes the ghosts are quieting down because her mum lets out a relieved sigh and starts calling out their names one by one. She starts with Lady Button, then the Captain, and when it’s finally Thomas’s turn, Grace feels her heart swell with hope. She’s been wanting to talk to him her whole life and this could be her chance. Thomas is an orator, after all; a poet. It would make perfect sense for a device like the Ovilus to work for him.

But nothing happens.  

Her mum moves on to Robin, and Grace mentally kicks herself for forgetting about the first ghosts rule – that logic cannot be applied to the ghosts’ existence and abilities. There is no rhyme or reason to what they can or can’t do. It’s completely unpredictable and in moments like this, Grace really, really hates that that’s how it is.

Looking down at the device in her hand, she wonders if Thomas feels as disappointed as she does right now. She would be ecstatic to talk to any of them, of course, but ever since her mum and dad explained to her why she doesn’t have a brother or sister, she’s been desperate to tell Thomas how sorry she is that she caused him so much pain all those years ago. She knows he never blamed her for that but she still wants to tell him personally without her mum having to be there to speak for him.

She’s so lost in her thoughts that she doesn’t notice her mum moving on to Pat until the device in her hand suddenly pipes up with a surprisingly enthusiastic, “Hello!”

Grace almost drops it in shock.

“Pat?” she asks, breathlessly.

“Oh goodness gracious!” the Ovilus says. “Hello Grace!”

There are tears in her eyes when she looks up at her parents.

“It’s working! It’s working!” she chokes out, stuck somewhere between laughing and crying.

She has her first ever conversation with Pat that day. It’s a little stilted – the Ovilus is far from perfect – but it works and that’s all that matters in that moment.

To everyone’s surprise, Pat is not the only ghost it works for. When they go through the rest of them, just to be sure, the device suddenly crackles to life again when it’s Jean’s turn.

“Hello dear,” it says and this time, Grace does cry.

It’s the best day of her life, and she’s so glad her mum and dad bought the tools on the off-chance that they would work and gave her and the ghosts another way to talk to each other. She can’t imagine a better birthday present.

That night, when she gets ready for bed she does so with a huge smile on her face. Her mum is already waiting in her room when she comes out of the bathroom, and even though she can’t see him, Grace knows Thomas is there as well. She may be twelve now but she’ll never be too old for his stories – that much she swore to herself a long time ago. Tonight’s tale is all about birthdays – of course it is – and Grace can’t help but giggle when her mum starts to sing a quirky Happy birthday at you that is so weird it fits perfectly into the universe Thomas has created for her over a decade ago.

When the story ends, she gives her mum a kiss goodnight and asks Thomas to stay a moment longer. Her mum nods at her and gently closes the door on her way out. Taking a deep breath, she addresses the empty air at the foot of her bed where she knows Thomas likes to perch. “I’m sorry none of the devices worked for you. I was hoping at least one would but I suppose it’s a miracle they worked at all.”

She imagines the sound of a soft sigh and sad brown eyes looking down at the bloody cuff of an otherwise pristine white shirt.

“It still sucks, though,” she continues quietly, and the heavy silence in the room seems to agree with her. Still, she wouldn’t be her parents’ daughter if she gave up so easily. “Maybe we just haven’t found the right tool yet. We’ll keep trying, Thomas. I promise.”

Her eyes stray to the painting of him that hangs opposite her bed, the one in which he is smiling a little bashfully. It’s her favourite, along with the regal one her mum made years before she’d been born, and she hopes her words make him smile a little like that right now.

————

In the following months, her parents do their best to help her keep her promise but no matter which ghost-hunting device they try, none of them works for Thomas. Grace has always considered herself an optimist but when a year goes by and her thirteenth birthday comes and goes without her having found a way to talk to Thomas, she begins to lose hope that it’s ever going to happen. She tries to make her peace with that. It’s all she can do at that point – accept that it just isn’t meant to be.

Then, a week into the new year, Julie remarks with a thoughtful look, “Maybe the right tool just hasn’t been invented yet?”

Her brother raises his eyebrow at her. “And I suppose we’ll be the ones who’ll build it?”

Julie snorts. “We? God, no. But I’m going to have a crack at it.”

And she does. Almost every week, she comes up with a new idea that’s both ingenious and insane, and even though none of them end up working in the end, Grace is grateful beyond words that she has friends who are willing to pour their hearts and souls into helping her talk to a ghost. Not to mention a dad who is more than happy to help them tinker around and build crazy things from scratch. It makes her feel a little better in the face of all this disappointment.

“You know,” her mum begins one evening after another failed attempt that involved their toaster and an old radio her dad found in the basement. Grace can already tell from her tone that she’s not going to like what she’s about to say. “Thomas says it’s okay if you want to focus on something else for a while. You and your friends have been trying to build something for over a year now – maybe it’s time to give it a little rest?”

Grace was right: she does not like this at all.

“I promised him I would keep trying,” she says stubbornly.

“I know,” her mum sighs and looks to her left where Thomas is presumably standing. “But he doesn’t want your life to revolve around him. There’s so much more to it, and he’s missing watching you play the piano and compose songs.”

Grace hasn’t even noticed but she knows in her heart that Thomas is right: she has been neglecting her hobbies. Even though she tries, she can’t even remember the last time she sat down and turned her feelings into verses and melodies. Her fingers start to itch for a pen and the smooth texture of old piano keys under her hands, and she suddenly finds herself missing Emmett’s thoughtful suggestions to her lyrics and the peaceful look on Julie’s face when she listens to a particularly goosebump-inducing chord progression.

Knowing Thomas was there for it all and found as much joy in it as she did, makes it a little easier to agree to put a hold on ghost-hunting devices for a while.

“All right,” she says softly before she looks up at where she thinks Thomas is standing. “But I’m not giving up completely.”

She can tell from her mum’s reaction that Thomas is smiling.

————

Julie and Emmett are more than a little surprised when Grace tells them about it the next time they see each other.

“But it’s been so much fun!” Julie whines, her eyes pleading with her not to give it up.

In the end, they compromise: once a week on Saturdays, Julie gets to spend the afternoon tinkering in the shed under the observation of Grace’s dad while Grace and Emmett pour over verses and music notes in front of the fire in the drawing room. Sometimes, when Emmett brings his violin along, they move over to the piano and practise together for an hour or two, and Grace has to admit that it feels good to play music with her best friend again. She can’t know for sure, of course, but she likes to think that Thomas is sitting next to her by the piano on those afternoons, clapping his hands with pride when they finish a song and smiling encouragingly whenever her fingers stumble on the keys. Every now and then, she glances over to her left at the empty air next to her, and there’s always that feeling of regret tugging at her heart in those moments because she knows it’s all just in her head and that she will never get to actually see him smile at her.

Or so she thought.

Winter is in full force by the end of February when she realises something feels different. Grace can’t quite put her finger on what it is exactly until she goes to the bathroom that afternoon and sees the specks of blood on her underwear. It takes her a moment to realise what that means, and when she does, she calls for her mum with barely controlled panic.

She should have known her mum wouldn’t come to her aid alone.

“Mary says, and I quote: Oh, she be a woman now,” her mum tells her with a grin as she hands her a fresh pair of underpants and a pad through the crack of the bathroom door.

Grace shuts the door in her face with a groan.

She doesn’t want to be a woman – she’s not ready to be a grown-up yet and she certainly doesn’t feel like one. It’s weird to think that, theoretically, she could have a baby now. A real, living human child.

Yeah no, definitely not, Grace thinks with a shudder as she washes her hands.

When she has calmed down enough to go downstairs, Robin’s Ouija board is blinking like crazy in the drawing room. She feels a gentle pressure on her shoulders and lets Julian guide her to it. C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S Robin spells out. Grace feels her face flush but before she can do more than grow beet red from embarrassment, Julian steers her towards the Ovilus.

“Hello!” Pat says the moment she turns on the device. “Mary told – what happened!”

The tone of the Ovilus changes slightly, indicating that Jean has taken over. “If you have – questions about – we are here for you.”

Grace glances over at her mum, mortified. “Do they all know?”

Her mum nods, unable to hide her amusement. “More or less. Jemima is asking what’s going on.”

No way is Grace going to explain that to her ghostly friend. Judging by the way her mum’s expression slowly turns into one of horror, she doesn’t seem to have to. “Oh no, Julian, don’t you dare–“

In the end, it’s  Lady Button who ends up explaining periods to Jemima Grace honestly doesn’t know if that’s better or worse. What she does know, however, is that this is one of those rare moments when she doesn’t envy her mum her gift at all. The last thing she needs is hearing Lady Button talk about the birds and the bees and the others oversharing their own thoughts on the matter at every opportunity. The day had been traumatising enough already.

When she goes to bed that night, her dad is there to tuck her in. Grace is a little surprised to see him instead of her mum but it feels nice to have him pull up the blankets around her shoulders for once and press a kiss to her forehead.

“How are you holding up, kiddo?” he asks with a gentle smile that iputs her frayed nerves at ease.

“Okay, I guess? It’s just … weird. I don’t feel any different but I am, aren’t I?”

Her dad’s smile softens. “You’re growing up, love. That doesn’t mean you haveto be a grown up right now, or that you have to feel like one. It’s okay to still be a child.” His eyes twinkle when he adds, “And you know you’ll always be my baby girl, no matter what.”

“Even when I’m sixty and my hair is going grey?” Grace asks softly.

“Even then,” her dad reassures her.

His words manage to soothe the tightly coiled thing full of worry and fear that’s been sitting heavily on her chest all day. Chuckling wetly, Grace flings herself into his arms and buries her head in his chest. There’s no safer place in the world than in her dad’s arms, and when he kisses the top of her head, she closes her eyes and smiles against his shirt. “Love you, dad.”

“I love you too, Gracie,” he whispers against her hair and tightens his hold.

When they pull back, Grace can’t help feeling a little embarrassed but her dad knows how to deal with that too: he ruffles her hair, messes up the carefully made braids and Grace squirms out of his arm, all the while laughing.

He grins but lets her go. There’s a moment of quiet as she catches her breath before she asks, rather timidly, “Will Mum and Thomas come to say goodnight?”

Her dad’s face softens. “Of course they will. They wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

But he also tells her that today threw Thomas a little, and that her mum is talking to him about it right now; that change like this is difficult for him, and her growing up feels just a bit too much like she is slipping through his fingers again. Grace would think that’s absurd – after all, nothing’s really changed; she’s still the same person she was when she woke up that morning – if she didn’t know how impossible it is for him and the others to hold onto the people they care about. Life, inevitably, passes them by. What feels like an eternity to her is just a blip in time for them. Seeing her grow older – being reminded of how much time has passed and that she’s not that little baby they all cooed over anymore – must be both heart-breaking and terrifying for them, doomed as they are to watch it happen while they stay the same.

There’s the soft sound of a throat being cleared and when Grace looks over to the door, she finds her mum holding up a hot water bottle. “Ready for your bedtime story?”

Grace smiles and scoots over so her mum can join them on the bed. She wonders what kind of story Thomas will tell her today as she settles down, and is not disappointed when it turns out to be a childhood tale about one of the Elders. It’s full of love, understanding and acceptance, and all about how different one’s life can be after meeting the right person.

Grace knows she already has the right people in her life – her parents, the ghosts and, of course, Julie and Emmett. She was fortunate enough to meet them all very early and can’t imagine ever needing anyone else to be happy.

“I love you,” she says when the story is over and Thomas and her parents say goodnight.

Her mum and dad share a smile. “We love you too, sweetheart.”

“And so does Thomas,” her mum adds with a soft look towards the foot of the bed. “He bids you goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Grace whispers and curls around the hot water bottle. Just before she closes her eyes, she catches a glimpse of warm brown eyes and a soft, melancholic smile. Her dad turns off the light and she shakes her head. She must be more tired than she thought if her mind is playing tricks on her like that.

————

It’s still dark outside when she wakes up the next morning. There’s only the thinnest line of pale blue light on the horizon, heralding the arrival of a wintry sunrise that makes Grace wish spring would hurry up and allow the world to burst back into colour again. She’s so tired of icy skies and snow-covered landscapes.

Since it’s a Sunday, she takes her time getting ready. By the time she heads downstairs for breakfast, the sun is already beginning to tentatively peak over the horizon in the distance, making the fields glitter with frost and snow in the weak light. A deer is grazing in the cold morning air and Grace briefly hopes Uncle Barclay isn’t out and about with his shotgun again. Not because the deer would be in danger – according to her dad, Uncle Barclay has been famously missing his targets for years now – but because she knows the sound would upset Thomas and she doesn’t want that.

“Morning Mum, morning Dad,” she mumbles around a yawn as she enters the kitchen. She plops down onto her chair and reaches for her glass of orange juice.  

Her parents exchange a fond, amused look.

“Sleep well?” her dad asks as he hands her a plate with toast and omelette.

“Like a baby,” Grace tells him truthfully. She looks over at her mum. “Thanks again for the hot water bottle. It really helped.”

Her mum smiles. “You’re welcome, love.”

Before she can say anything else, Kitty bursts through the wall with an excited, “Alison! Have you looked outside yet? It snowed again last night! Can you ask Grace if we can make snow angels together later? Please? It was so much fun last time!”

“Sure we can,” Grace absentmindedly says around a mouthful of toast before she starts digging into her omelette.

She only notices something’s wrong when her dad gives her a very confused look. “Can do what?”

Grace blinks. She looks up from her plate, looks at her dad, then at her mum and finally at the young woman in the pretty pink dress who is staring at her with wide eyes full of wonder. “Kitty?”

“Oh gosh!” Kitty exclaims and promptly turns around to run from the room.

Grace stares after her, not quite convinced she isn’t still lying in her bed, dreaming, when her mum whispers in a tone of wonder, “Did you just … see her?”

Grace is unable to tear her eyes away from the empty space where Kitty just stood. “I think so?”

There’s a tense moment of silence as it slowly sinks in what that means. Then her dad groans. “And we’re back to me being the only one who can’t see ghosts. Great.”

He says it so dramatically that Grace can’t help but laugh. Even to her own ears it sounds a little hysterical. She wonders if that’s what going into shock feels like.

“This can’t be a coincidence,” her mum says with a meaningful look towards her that Grace doesn’t understand at first. She didn’t fall out of any windows or down any stairs and cracked her head open, didn’t have any near-death experiences in the last 24 hours at all, let alone in the thirteen years before. It just doesn’t make sense. She shouldn’t be able to see the ghosts. Nothing has changed since yesterday except–

Oh, Grace thinks and places a hand over her cramping stomach. “Do you think–?”

“What else could it be?” her mum asks.

Her dad glances between them. “All right, time out. Since when does getting your period mean you can see ghosts?”

“It doesn’t, not normally.” Her mum glances at her with a curious look on her face. “But she’s not a normal kid, is she, Mike? She’s my kid. What if my gift is in her genes?”

“And puberty triggered it?” her dad asks sceptically.

Her mum holds up her hands and shrugs. “Do you have a better explanation?”

Grace can tell by the look on her dad’s face that he has not. She hasn’t either. What her mum says makes sense, in a our lives are so weird already so why shouldn’t this be possible too? kind of way. And it’s that thought, that moment of realisation that nothing is truly impossible in this house that makes the whole thing truly, undeniably sink in. She saw Kitty. She can see ghosts!

Before any excitement has a chance to bubble over, doubts creep into her mind. Because can she, actually? Can she see ghosts, plural, or is it perhaps just Kitty she can see? Not that that would be disappointing – far from it. It would be so much more than she’d ever thought possible but Grace needs to know.

Omelette and toast forgotten, she stands up from the table so abruptly she startles her parents. “We need to find the ghosts. I need to–”

“I know,” her mum says and stands up too. With a sigh that sounds more amused than resigned, her dad follows them out of the kitchen and down the hallway.

They haven’t even reached the drawing room yet when she starts to hear them: a cacophony of voices, all talking over each other, with Kitty’s rising above them all, insisting, “I swear it! She saw me! She looked right at me and she talked to me!”

Grace stops just shy of the door and lets it all wash over her: the Captain’s voice, less stern than she remembers; Pat’s desperate attempts to calm everyone down; Robin’s rough half-sentences as he tells Kitty she must be wrong because he’s been around long enough to know something like this doesn’t happen; Julian’s call for order that sounds just like her mum’s impression of him and makes her smile; Mary’s old way of talking that turns singulars into plurals in the most peculiar ways; Humphrey’s cautious optimism that Jemima tentatively agrees with; Fanny’s sceptical huffs as she joins forces with Robin and tries to be the voice of reason; and finally the villagers’ excited voices that become so entangled Grace has no hope of making out who’s who.

“I can hear them,” she whispers in relief. She looks up at her mum and doesn’t care when a tear drops down her face. “Mum, I can hear all of them.”

It’s the best feeling in the world, and the only thing that could possibly top it would be being able to see them too. So Grace takes a deep breath and slowly opens the door. All the beloved faces she knows from her mum’s paintings turn to look at her at once. The ghosts seem to hold their breaths – unnecessary but so endearing – as she lets her gaze roam over them. She soaks up every little detail, every hesitant and hopeful smile in stunned silence until finally Pat steps forward and gives her a tentative wave. “Hello, Grace.”

The dam breaks. Grace laughs and lets the tears well over. The room blurs around her and so do the ghosts but she can see them stepping closer, surrounding her like they have all her life except now they’re not just pictures on her walls. They’re real – beautifully, undeniably real. Some of them are crying along with her and reaching out their hands as if to comfort her, and it feels like coming home in the most perfect way Grace could have possibly imagined.

“Hi,” she manages to choke out and laughs again when a chorus of hi’s and hello’s greets her in answer.

“See? I told you I didn’t make it up,” Kitty says with a triumphant grin before she turns to Grace and claps her hands excitedly. “Oh, I’m so glad we finally get to talk to each other! I have so much to tell you!”

Her words remind Grace of all the things she’s been dying to tell the ghosts herself, and one ghost in particular. She lets her eyes wander over them, desperate to find brown curls and warm brown eyes among the sea of the familiar faces. Her heart sinks when she realises he’s not there.

“Where is Thomas?” she asks. The question comes out trembling and her worry only grows when the ghosts go silent and look at each other. In that moment, she knows exactly how her mother felt all those years ago when Thomas vanished without trace. The mere thought that he could be gone before she could see him again, that she’s missed her chance, that he’s–

“Didn’t he say he wanted to watch the sunrise this morning?” Nigel pipes up suddenly, and the rush of relief Grace feels at his words makes her knees feel so weak she has to hold onto the nearest chair for a moment. She looks out of the window, sees the warm glow of the sun stretching over the grounds that are as familiar to her as the house, and wonders if he’ll be at the lake or the well.

She doesn’t stop to ask. Without thinking about what she’s doing, she turns around and runs out of the house. Her breath freezes in the cold morning air; she’s only wearing her slippers and didn’t stop to grab her coat but Grace barely notices. She’s running across the lawn as fast as she can, the frozen grass and snow cracking under her feet, and when a look into the walled garden reveals an empty well, she changes course and heads straight for the lake without stopping to catch her breath.

Her heart is pounding in her chest when it finally comes into view. She slows down and blinks against the sun. It takes her eyes a moment to adjust to the glare but suddenly, between one blink and the next, she can make out a dark silhouette against the bright orange glow.

“Thomas,” she breathes and feels a smile tugging at her lips.

Sunlight is shining through the wound that took his life, making him look more ethereal and ghost-like than her mum’s paintings ever managed to convey. He stands perfectly still, his breath turning to mist in the morning air in front of him with every slow exhale, and Grace wishes he would turn around so she could see his face. So she calls out his name, louder this time, and picks up her pace. As she runs across the frozen meadow towards him, she feels as close to a soldier returning from war to her loved one as she probably ever will, and when he finally – finally – turns to look at her, she could have wept with happiness.

Thomas’s eyes widen a fraction before a frown full of worry replaces the surprise on that gentle, loving face she knows so well. “Grace! What are you doing out here? Goodness me, you don’t even have proper shoes on!”

Grace can tell by the helpless look he casts behind her that he hasn’t realised yet that she can see him. He is hoping for her mum to appear and fix whatever is wrong, and that more than anything makes her heart ache. Because despite it all he is still talking to her as if she never lost the ability to see him, as if she can still talk back. Grace had no idea and the realisation that he never gave that up, not even after all these years, makes her steps falter in the snow.

“Alison?” Thomas shouts and begins to scan the field behind her with increasing urgency. “Alison! Damn your eyes, where are you? Alison! Something’s wrong with Grace!”

His fear, worry and love for her come together in a crescendo of emotion that makes his voice hitch and tremble. He is so clearly torn between staying with her and finding her mum that Grace feels more tears well up in her eyes. Thomas looks at her in alarm.

“Gracie, please. I – I don’t know how to help you. I physically can’t.”

He sounds so distraught that she finally manages to swallow around the lump in her throat.

“It’s all right, Thomas. Nothing’s wrong with me. Quite the opposite, actually.” Thomas freezes. He looks as if he’s seen a ghost and the irony of that isn’t lost on Grace. She gives him a shy, little wave. “It’s good to see you.”

His face goes slack. For a heartbeat or two, he’s just staring at her, completely still. Then he whispers brokenly, “Grace?”

Her name hangs in the air between them, as fragile as the frost under her feet. Warmly, Grace smiles up at him. “Hello, Thomas.”

Thomas lets out the softest, “Oh,” she has ever heard, full of wonder, hope and disbelief.

Behind her, Grace can hear her mum and dad running across the field towards them but she doesn’t turn around, doesn’t look away from Thomas who keeps opening and closing his mouth as if he wants to say a thousand things but can’t find the right words. His hands are trembling at his sides and a moment later, his face crumples. Without warning, his shoulders begin to shake and he sinks down into the fresh snow. He hides his face in his hands, unable to stifle his emotions. The sound he makes is so awfully raw that Grace falls to her knees beside him, helplessly. “Thomas.”

There is a blur of movement next to her and then Jean is at Thomas’s side. She wraps an arm around his shoulders, holds him tight and together in a way Grace cannot and never will, not even with her newfound power. Thomas is crying in earnest now, and one by one the other ghosts join him on the ground. They don’t just surround him with their presence; they surround him with their love. It’s both beautiful and heart-breaking to watch, and Grace wonders if that’s how it was when they found him all those years ago too.

Something heavy lands on her shoulder. She glances up at her mum and dad, grateful for the warm winter coat they’re bundling her up in but even more grateful for the hug that follows. Looking back at Thomas, she hears his broken sobs, sees the way he buries his face in Jean’s shoulder and thinks this is the first time she truly understands what losing her did to him all those years ago. Right now, he isn’t the elegant poet from the portrait on her bedroom wall or the silly storyteller from her bedtime ritual. He is a young, broken man who has just gotten back a piece of his heart he’d thought forever lost.

“Thomas,” she says again. “Look at me? Please?”

He sucks in a ragged breath and slowly raises his head, unable to say no to her. His eyes are shining with tears, and his silent, desperate plea of Please let this be real feels as loud as if he had shouted it.

Grace smiles at him through her own tears. “I’m here. I promise, I’m here and I can see you.”

“She really can, mate,” Pat says softly.

“Praise be,” Mary adds with a smile.

Thomas sniffs and wipes his face on the bloody cuff of his shirt. “How is that even possible?”

“Long story,” Grace says. “I’ll explain it all later.”

“Okay,” he whispers and takes another shaking breath. “I never gave up hope – you have to know that, Gracie – but I didn’t think–“ He cuts himself off with a shake of his head. Biting his lip, he does his best to pull himself together before he continues in that soft voice Grace remembers from her earliest memories, “I love you so much. More than words can say. I’ve never stopped, not even when–”

He breaks off again and Grace wishes so badly she could hold him like the ghosts can.

“I know,” she promises him instead. “I’ve always known. And I love you too. I’m just sorry it took me so long to tell you.”

He smiles and shakes his head even as his breath hitches. “You’ve told me in plenty of ways, Grace; every single day.”

That may be true but Grace knows he needed to hear it anyway and probably would again. That is okay, though – they have all the time in the world now.

What an incredible thought.

————

That night, after her mum and dad have tucked her in and kissed her goodnight, they leave her bedroom with matching smiles on their faces. It’s the first time in twelve years that her mum doesn’t stay for Storytime, and Grace is so giddy with excitement she almost feels like a toddler again. She might be thirteen years old now but Storytime with Thomas is one of her earliest and fondest memories and she’s been waiting to hear him – actually, physically hear him – tell her another story for over a decade now. Even though she spent the whole day talking and laughing with the ghosts, it feels a little surreal that the moment is finally here and Grace pinches herself just to make sure she isn’t dreaming.

She’s not.

Reassured, she takes a deep breath and glances towards the foot of her bed. Thomas is sitting exactly where she always imagined he’d be, perched on the very edge of the mattress. He is quiet – a little too quiet, Grace thinks – as he stares down at his hands in his lap. His fingers are restlessly worrying the bloody cuff of his shirt, making him look nervous, as if he’s not quite sure what he’s supposed to do now that she can see him.

It’s utterly endearing.

“I’ve been looking forward to this all day,” Grace says quietly, hoping it will put him at ease.

Thomas glances up and the look of surprise on his face makes her heart ache. “Really?”

She nods. “Mum did a good job but your voice … I still remember it from all those years ago. It’s probably the most soothing thing I’ve ever heard.”

He swallows hard and looks back down at his hands. “I feared you were only indulging me all this time.”

“Never,” Grace says fiercely. She patiently waits until he looks at her again, and when he does, she offers him a soft smile. “Will you tell me a bedtime story, Thomas?”

As the stars twinkle in the endless sky outside, Thomas begins to spin a tale of a lonely clown who only ever wanted to make people laugh. There is cake-stealing involved, and a war, and Grace can’t help but giggle when the clown ends up at a children’s birthday party and Thomas acts out all the silly faces and funny noises he makes.

Growing up, she thinks when the story ends and Thomas softly bids her goodnight, isn’t so bad after all.

#thomas thorne #alison cooper #mike cooper #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts fanfic #my fic #bbc ghosts babyfic

[sadiecoocoo]

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately, and I’ve been thinking that I haven’t been doing as much as i can to help Palestine, so here’s a jumble of thoughts

Stories change people’s views on so many things. Be it fictional or not. There are people I’ve never met that I either hate or absolutely adore because of stories my family told me about them. My dad told me stories about my grandpa, stories about fairly bad things. Stories about how my grandpa treated other people, treated them wrongly, though not with any real malice that I can tell. And those stories made me start to notice things about him, how he referred to his employees by purely their race, stating they were his. How he seemed to subtly manipulate someone into going into a certain field as a career, though after a long enough time it didn’t seem so subtle. My family told me stories about how my great grandmother was basically the “crazy mother in law” that you always see TikToks about. Stories can do a lot. They’re just words, but you can hear them so often that they can completely change your view on things. But stories aren’t always used for good things.

People make them twist and turn, change a small detail every time the story is told. They paint the picture in a new light, or rather put a film over the truth and truly make it a story. When I think of this, I think of fake news. I learned about the Atlanta Race Riots not too long ago, about how some news company said that an African American man had raped a white girl and later killed her. Well, it caused people to riot, and caused people to beat innocent men, women, and children. It lasted almost 24 hours, and several people had died because of it. It was more a massacre than a riot. And the worst part, that story, the one that sparked the riot in the first place, wasn’t even a real story. It was just a dark fiction made to sway some people’s votes back in the 1900’s

In a way, history is repeating itself. It’s using those stories as inspiration for a new story, but most of the cliches are still there. Israel and Palestine are both trying to tell stories, though one is overshadowing the other. Using subtle manipulation tactics, quietly changing the details of stories. Newspapers read that a group of people under the age of 18 were found dead mysteriously. They read they were “under the age of 18” not that they were children who had their whole lives ahead of them. They read that they died mysteriously, as though they weren’t murdered by soldiers. Israel is telling a story, a story that seems true to a lot of people, purely because some people don’t try to look deeper, for them it’s just words on a page. Israel is telling a fake story, covering things up effortlessly, but there are so many people who understand that stories are changeable. Stories are manipulated like clay. Stories mean nothing. Stories are just stories. And I can’t count how many people don’t believe stories because they know that so many stories are made with the intent to make people think differently, how the creator wants them to think.

But there are stories, that need to be heard. There are stories that aren’t exaggerating a single detail. There are stories that are so important for people to know. Palestine’s story is one that is real, one that needs to heard and needs to be believed. And yes, Palestine is being greatly overshadowed by Israel’s stories and headlines, and yes, stories can be molded like clay. But clay takes so much practice and effort to perfect. In making a clay there will always be at least one piece that you make that has an air bubble, and in the kiln it will explode the piece will have to be scrapped. Israel’s piece of clay has air bubbles. Israel’s stories have fault, because there are so many people who scoff at the headlines and knows exactly how covered up things are. There are people who are sharing Palestine’s story through social media platforms. There have been people who entered a war zone and lived in it for days to record the slaughterhouse.

The stories that you hear as a kid probably contain fun adventures with fairies, or vacations to Wonderland, or Princess Charming. No matter the kind of adventure or conflict, they all had happy endings. I believe that Palestine will get a happy ending, but that can’t happen unless more people try to do something about it. In every fairy tale, there’s the protagonist that needs to do something, and a lot of times the protagonist can’t beat the evil without help from the side characters. In this situation, everyone outside of Palestine are the side characters. And we side characters need to do something to help the main character, be it moral support, financial aid, food supplies, or anything that could have the possibility of helping. And another thing, the side characters can’t be the ones to lose heart, the side characters need to be the ones to keep the main character going. Dont act like there’s nothing that can be done, dont act like Palestine can’t be saved and that humanity is cruel. I have hope for the world, and I think you all should have at least a speck too.

A lot of stories change how you view the world. A lot of people try to abuse the power of stories. There are good and bad stories for everything. The good story needs to be told. Palestine’s story needs to be told.

#palestine #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #i don’t know if this makes sense #but it’s how I’ve been thinking of it #I’d like to add that this in no way is meant to paint everything that’s happening in Palestine as a fictional story #the term ‘story’ was just being used a metaphor #everything that is happening is very much so real #and it needs to be known

[verxca]

Widowmaker X Fem!Reader

New Recruit Pt. 6 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Summary: While training, you and Widows conversation turns into something unexpected ₊ ⊹

Warnings: Suggestive content ₊ ⊹

"They are watching, don't do anything stupid when I leave." The guard said, shooting a cold stare at your direction before he exited the training area. Now, you were left alone, with only security cameras and training dummies to observe your every move. Naturally, escaping was the first thing that came to mind when you were left by yourself. But you figured that it would be too risky, considering your healing injury, the cameras, and more. You looked around the padded room, debating what to do now. After all, it was the first time you were left alone in here. Usually there were others training and or your guard positioned at the door. Though, you still felt like nothing changed. Talon is best at giving a false sense of security, and you were starting to catch on. The dummies positioned to the side of the room looked like they were staring directly into your soul, their lifeless eyes begging for something you couldn't quite put your finger on.

You walked over to one, observing the rubber doll. It resembled a girl, or at least that's what your mind pictured it as. Being stuck alone for so long, you knew that creating fake friends was something bound to happen. You pictured her with long, black hair, painted red nails, and dark brown eyes. Lacey, you named her.

"Sorry, Lacey."

You started to actually train, punching and kicking the doll. After a minute or so passed, you started regretting naming her to begin with. Your arms started to burn, not something uncommon, but then your stomach did. Your stab wound was healing faster than you expected, but that came at the cost of it aching more often than normally. You pulled back, placing your hand over the wound, sighing to yourself.

"Are you ok?" A familiar voice asked. You quickly turned around and were greeted by Widowmaker. She stood with one of her hands placed onto her hip, her hair in that signature braid, and of course, her yellow eyes gazing into yours. In contrast to your guys first encounter, you now really begun to admire Amélie. After that conversation with Sombra a couple of nights ago as well, you started to picture her in a whole different light.

"Oh, hey, yea Im fine, sorry-" You said in a hurry, slightly embarrassed for her to see you in this weak state. But again, you remembered when she helped you on that mission, and you begun to feel less tense, dropping your arms by your side.

"There is nothing to be sorry about, you are determined, training through the pain. I admire that."

"Thanks, Widow..." You said approaching her.

"I didn't mean to intrude, just came here to train on my own, what a pleasant suprise it is, seeing you here."

"You too, it gets lonely sometimes... You are very sweet."

You both smiled at each other, before beginning to walk back towards the dummies. Your injury started to feel a bit better, it now just stung slightly. You shook off the pain and approached Widows side, positioning yourself in front of the rubber doll, ready to commence again. But, it seemed like you couldn't concentrate when she was there. You were too focused on her presence in the room then on the task at hand. She made your mind fuzzy.

"Hey- Uh, Widow... Was it you who got me those books?" You asked seemingly out of the blue. Widow stopped what she was doing and looked your way, with a faint grin, like she was trying not to smirk.

"Hm. How did you guess?" She stood and stared at you, now smiling.

"I knew it! Thank you so much, its been keeping me occupied lately"

"Your brain always needs something to concentrate on, without it, you'd start to go crazy. And, reading keeps you smart. I just wanted to make sure you're ok."

"They've really been helping, I can't stress how much"

The room fell silent again. You kicked, you punched, but your mind always thought back to her. She was right there, watching you fight, watching you thank her, watching everything you do. You didn't feel like you had to impress her, which was a good break from the usual atmosphere in Talon. You felt comfortable, but still nervous. That tension in the air never seemed to dissipate when you saw her, or when she saw you. Widowmaker stepped back from her training dummy, once again staring in your direction.

"Want to fight each other? I think it would grant better results than this, if you'd like." Her offer definitely shocked you, but overall made you even more flustered.

"That’s a good idea"

You both hurried over to the open area, your heart started to race faster with every step forward you took. You had seen her fight, even seen her take you down before. Always with those graceful yet strong attacks, you had to adapt your fighting style to hers. You didn't care about the cameras, your wound, the guard, Moira, nothing. You were only focused on Amélie, and it seemed to be the opposite with her. She looked at your body, eyeing every inch, studying your movements.

"I'll try to go easy, I know you're still healing." You nodded, taking stance, readying yourself.

She approached in a hurry, trying to kick your stomach. You dodged her attack, but she kept getting closer. You moved back a fair mount, trying not to get hit before finally deciding to switch defence to offence. You threw a punch to her face, but she dodged. You tried to kick her, but she moved out the way again. You threw your fist close to her one last time, not putting in all of your force, assuming her to back away again. But, this time she grabbed your arm, firmly gripping it with her soft purple hand. Your heart skipped a beat, surprised by the turn of events. She pulled you closer to her body in a hurry, kneeing you in the chest. You let out a groan and fell to the floor, quickly collecting yourself before getting back up. You both looked at each other. You had to admit to yourself, you were turned on by her dominating actions.

...

You charged back towards Widow, kicking and punching, trying to get her down. She threw up her arms every time in front of her face, blocking all of your attacks. But, you could tell she was getting weaker. This time you aimed your blow to the side of her head, causing her to loose balance and fall on her knee. She got up quickly, you guys were now even in this imaginary battle game. You didn't know what the goal was, but you still were getting more exited for something to happen.

You both ran back towards each other, dodging and throwing attacks at the same time. Your body was so filled with energy that it seemed in that moment it was impossible to get tired. You threw your knee up, hoping to knock her back, but she swiftly moved to the side, taking her stance and throwing a punch to your side. You moved back and kicked her stomach, but again, she dodged. You hadn't even noticed that she had grabbed your leg, causing you to slip to the floor. In a desperate attempt to not loose, you kicked the back of her knee, causing Widow to fall directly ontop of your body.

The room fell silent again.

The only sound was coming from the both of your chests rythmicly falling up and down, breathing rapidly. Your face was completely red, cheeks, ears, and even nose. Widows hands that were propping her up above your fragile frame begun to slightly shake, her facial expression was one you had never seen her make before. She stared into your eyes, as you admired all of the features on her face. Everything was so hot.

Without warning, Widow leaned down and kissed you on the lips. It was slow, sensual, but left you feeling so desperate for her. Amélie slowly pulled back, smiling. The tension that previously intoxicated the air seemed to finally be gone. You felt so comfortable in her arms.

#verxca ❀˖° #widowmaker #widowmaker x reader #widowmaker x you #overwatch

[paprikkamspaint]

Eh-hemm~~ Schuz me..

HOW DO YOU ANIMATE IN MS PAINT!! As a fellow user I want to get into animation but I don't have the patience for other programs lol, and your's look so nice🥺

Thank you! I'm very new to animation as well so my own process of animation is uhm, very chaotic so you will need patience no matter what!

More below!!

(this isn't the definitive way of making animation so go crazy and do whatever you're most conformable doing it)

First of all, I recommend having a clear idea. If you have previous knowledge about animation and how things work you'll be fine.

This is my first frame for an animation I'm doing, I personally do this as a guide for my future frames.

(Make sure of making a file for the animation and make your frames numbered)

Since there's no onion layer of other fancy stuff, you have to use copy-paste and the transparent tool for the next one.

2. Use very light colors for every previous frame, so you don't get confused with the one you're doing.

3. Clean with the bucked it can be faster. You can also do it with the transparent tool but it will make you change the canvas side and you don't want that. The Canva side had to be the same side always.

4. To see how your progress is doing you can just open your picture and go back and forward seeing how it goes, but if you want to see how it's moving in general: I use ezgif.com. A site to make png to gifs and you can change how faster you want a certain frame to go.

5. When you finish your frames just do the lineart! Of course, checking in if everything is going well with each one. I recommend doing it with the curve tool if you want consistency.

6. Then add color, you have to be careful going back and forth to see everything is going place.

7. Add shading if you want.

8. Now the background is a whole other thing. I have some pre-made pattern backgrounds that I use frequently, so I use those. But I often have to re-side them to the canvas of my animation.

When I'm done doing that I'll name it "The original" and it's going to be the one you are going to copy-paste.

So now you have your copy-paste background in a new Canva, so now you have to go and copy-paste each one of your frames into the ones with the background. (Please remember to name your frames with like [project name] [Number of frames] to avoid confusion.

9. And when you're done, go to the gif maker and see how it goes!

10. I really how it helps in some way (I'm not the best at explaining) But there's some plenty of tutorials on Youtube if you want more tutorials!

#ask #mspaint #myart

[ridestomars]

… but like a fairy reader with any of them would be funny. In my opinion Nancy would find it so cool but she wouldn’t be weird about it. Robin would ramble on and on about it and just go into like a lesbian panic if you showed her your wings. Steve would be funny about it and a little uneducated and compare you to like Tinkerbell. Eddie would like fawn over your wings and just want to touch them and call them pretty because he is actually so sweet and soft. … just my thoughts hehe 🤣😂👀😁🧚

this is absolutely perfect.

i feel like nancy would be the only one who's actually cool about the whole thing. like, she'd probably find it crazy at first (but would never show that to you, of course), so it would take a bit of getting used to but even then, she'd always treat you normally because you're her friend, after all. i also feel like she'd be the best to talk about human traditions or "technicalities" (if that makes sense), since she's the only one who actually has the patience to sit down with you to talk about those "boring" subjects like history. also, i definitely see her going shopping with fairy! and would spend the whole time encouraging you to try all kinds of styles, and then she'd teach you how to style your hair the way you like it and to do your makeup!

robin wants to know every little detail of your life, and i'm not even kidding. like, her idea of a perfect day with you is: you both hanging out in a quiet place and asking you about everything fairy-related (that she can think of). i feel like she would love to do little arts and crafts with you, like making rings out of twigs or nice colorful paintings. i picture robin as a cinephile, so i definitely see her taking you to the movies almost daily. or renting some cool movies for you to watch together on your sleepovers – that would vary a lot, like, she would go from a 40s hitchcock movie to revenge of the nerds in a second. and she'd also explain to you everything she knows about movies, and would even get her mom's old super 8 camera to record videos of you two together.

and poor stevie wouldn't have a clue of what's going on and would just roll with the punches, really. but the face he makes when you show him your wings for the first time was priceless; the type of memory that when it comes to mind just makes you giggle by yourself. but he would love to spend time with you, always asking the most senseless questions – that would often end up with nancy smacking him on the arm. but i feel like he would be your hawkins guide, showing you around town like a pro. it's like he's a walking map, almost, because he knows everything and everyone, even the most hidden parts of town... and he makes sure to show you everything.

eddie would be a bit intimidating at first, but he would warm up to you really quickly. and once you become friends, he's willing to show you everything music-related that you've been missing. because not only you would marathon mtv programs like crazy, but he would gift you records almost every week. if we're talking about my eddie au, then i just know that this boy would be so jealous of your friendship with the other three. like, he's so immature about it but it's just so cute :( because he says shit to you like "this is so unfair! i met you first! you should be spending time with me!", with those puppy dog eyes that just make you melt.

LIKES, REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK ARE APPRECIATED! main masterlist | navigation ── hey! wanna talk? leave me a message after the beep. currently accepting requests for steve, nancy and eddie.

#LIVING FOR FAIRY!READER #not proofread #liv answers anon #nancy wheeler x reader #robin buckley x reader #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x reader #fairy!reader #nancy wheeler x fairy!reader #robin buckley x fairy!reader #steve harrington x fairy!reader #eddie munson x fairy!reader #nancy x fairy!reader #robin x fairy!reader #steve x fairy!reader #eddie x fairy!reader #liv talks about nancy #liv talks about robin #liv talks about eddie #liv talks about stevie

[missseeker]

The Stupid Things I Often Do - A Poem for Baxter Ward

When you left, I broke. Down, down, down...Never left my house, and cried without command. For days, for weeks, it broke me. For months, for years, it's scorned me. My mums just wanted me to eat. My friend just wanted me to sleep But me? I just wanted to dream of a place no longer here...

When I finally came out, it didn't help Not the people, the stores, not even the wind The only thing I found again was her, The silent moon.

I sobbed and she didn't judge I cried and prayed, but she didn't budge I told her all of what you'd done... And she seemed to feel for me.

I still sit up at night, guided only by her light And talk to her of you, when you come back into my mind. I dare not do it in front of others, they'd think me crazy still Crazy for keeping a kind of hope, one that has yet to wilt.

As time's gone on, I learned to cope. My friends were ecstatic when I drank just a Coke. My mums were happy to see me outside But really I just learned to hide, it all.

About that time I took up my brush, wilted, disused, almost painting with rust I made a pretty picture once, of a girl alone in the cold sand, and with her only friend, the moon. My loved ones thought it was a sign, that I was moving on just fine But really I made it just to remind, remind myself of you.

It still hangs across the room from me Forever there when I wake or sleep, there to remind and comfort me Even when the bed is cold beneath my fingertips, and I find myself all alone Your memory is there to hold me, together.

I taste of peppermint tea now, but it's not how I like to drown, my taste buds. In fact, I'm partial to lemon, but I find that peppermint tastes of you. So I always keep at least one box at home, in the back corner of my cabinet So that when I am cold, and sad, alone, I can always have it.

I don't drink champagne at parties anymore, Because I can't get the memories of before, to go away It still tastes like midnight, and cupcakes, and late-night decisions And I can't bring myself to stop reminiscing, when I taste it.

That condo just a few doors down, it's empty every summer now Even with new people there, I can't help but stop and stare At the door, the last place I saw you go, back when it was still your home And now I can't go inside again, even if I was invited in.

I dress in colors still, bright and bold, but sometimes it gets old So when I feel it coming on, the sadness, I dress to meet it In black and white, what you wore back then, so when the feelings come in Maybe you can come along with them, and still recognize me.

I now wear a floral perfume, but not the one I used to I used to smell like sunflowers and sky, but now I smell of roses and night And all because the scent smelt so familiar when I found it It smelt of you, and a white shirt draped over my swimsuit outfit.

I can't seem to dance anymore, for every time I step to the floor I look down just hoping to see another pair of shoes besides mine. But every time, I silently pray they're you, or they have the skills to fill your place, And they're not, and they don't, and the disappointment just won't let go of my face.

And the stupidest thing I still choose to do? I still have not let go of you, even though if I did I know I could be loved again, but by a nicer boy with blueish eyes But to me, they seem so dull, and I do despise, that they're not brown

He would gladly kiss away my pain, dance with me in pouring rain Take me away if I asked him to do so But we both know I can't do so, because I still need my hope Even if it makes me lost, left behind in the Cali dust.

I still see him hang around, waiting in this stupid town For someday when my head comes down, out of the clouds And I don't know who's stupider. The girl who waits on a fever dream? Or the boy who is okay looking after her?

So I've spent these years, aging and waiting For that dust to clear, for maybe then you'll be able to find me But until then I'll still stand sadly at the shore, forevermore Just talking with the moon.

(Originally posted on AO3 under A Book of Poetry by Jamie Last. Thought I would repost it here too to open up this page!)

#poetry #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #our life #baxter ward #heartbreak #visual novel #our life beginnings & always #our life baxter

[xleeleeboox]

Being friends with Johnathan and Argyle include:

Mentions other characters, upside down, smoking a loooot, stealing, emotional convos but it’s all v fluffy no spoilers everything is platonic

* You’d met them while going to argyles pizza shop like super late at night with some of your friends after a party

* everyone was either drunk or high and you could not keep it together because Argyle was obviously out of his mind at the moment

* and you decided to invite Argyle to the next party he asked if he could invite Jonathan and you went ahead and said OK

* so when you meet Jonathan you’re at a party but it’s like one of those parties were you just chill and shit

* you took a break from being inside and he went outside to sit around the fire pit with Argyle in Jonathan and just brought out a joint and lit it and started passing it around

* After a while you all start sharing about how you’re just done with school and you wish you could get out you wish you could get away from these people in this drama that never seems to end

* but Jesus Christ don’t you know the half of it on Jonathan‘s side but he saves that for another time

* Sharing about your younger siblings with Johnathan

* Argyle goes inside for god knows what

* That how you and Johnathan start bonding more

* I feel like Johnathan might want to talk about his photography with you and see if you have any suggestions for subjects for the photos

* He explains the process of developing the photos but he does t want you in there with him

* “Don’t worry he doesn’t let me in there either man” argyle says

* One day you were in art and stole a chunk of clay to try and make a bowl to smoke from

* It didn’t work Johnathan said it would crack and he was right

* Argyle kept cheering you on though

* Every once in a while you are invited over to argyles pizza place you get high and make your own pizzas, you take it to school the next day too

* At this point you’ve ditched your friends because their drama is too much

* And you’re hanging out with Johnathan so much that you’ve even bonded with Will and El

* You thought about introducing them to your younger siblings, but they didn’t want that lol

* You closed your eyes and were like “I get it” with a smile on your face lmao

* You and Johnathan often go somewhere random and just chill together

* Doesn’t matter where or when or what you are doing

* It’s always therapeutic too in a way because a lot of the time you end up staying out late, laying on the ground talking to each other about your deep thoughts

* One night Johnathan let’s it slip about the upside down and shit while you’re both high and in your feels

* You laugh and go “that’s crazy man I can’t… does argyle know? I feel like he does… maybe he doesn’t but he should”

* After that you don’t see him differently but you understand him better

* You become even closer now

* Really all you do is chill and listen to music or do a craft or something like paint idk

* Taking Polaroids of them

* And of will and el

* Of your siblings

* You give them some of the Polaroids but keep your favorites and make a scrapbook with them and give it to Johnathan for like Christmas or his birthday

* He ends up keeping it forever where he can’t lose it

* Tries not to let his mom look through it because there are some memories where you’re smoking with Argyle and Johnathan and are fucking around

* Some other questionable weird things you guys are doing (but nothing bad it’s just… odd things)

* YOU ASK WILL TO DRAW YOU SOMETHING AND HE FUCKING DOES

* You hang it up in your room on your door in the inside so you can see it when it’s closed

* When Johnathan comes over and sits on your bed he looks at the drawing and smiles

* Also if you ask Johnathan to take pictures of you he probably will and they will look so good he’ll give you a photo he developed of you him and argyle

* You also hung it up on your door and Johnathan feels very cared for and loved when he sees it

* Gets another picture for you and you put it in a frame somewhere around your house not just your room and he hugs you

* Not a super touchy man but you lay each other‘s heads on the others shoulder or on their lap or just lean against them

* But like all three of you argyle too ya know

* You make El a bracelet and she wears it every once in a while

* She says you need to make matching ones

* You made some for you Johnathan and Argyle

* You made one for Joyce because she’s so nice to you

* You took Johnathan’s lighter by accident and slipped it into Argyles possession so you didn’t get a scolded lmao

* I’m getting carried away I’ll stop if you have anymore Johnathan and Argyle headcannons please hmu

#Jonathan Byers #johnathan byers x reader #platonic!johnathan byers #johnathan stranger things #argyle #argyle stranger things #argyle x reader #platonic!argyle #stranger things #will byers #el hopper #Jane hopper #jane byers #el byers #joyce byers

[questinwitchface]

It's kind of crazy to me to think about how much art I make but don't show anyone. Like, if you didn't know, I'm an artist as well as a writer, I just never (or very very rarely) post my art. I mostly sketch, but I also often work with alcohol marker, gel pen, paint, or/and colored pencil to produce more "finished" pieces. That said, I'm not a "good" artist. It's a hobby. I don't take it as seriously as I do writing. I don't have a unique style, and I'm not good at drawing people. But I keep doing it anyway.

Mostly I do art challenges, like Inktober, or make pieces for friends. But I also do fanart for my own fics. Like, technically, every fic of mine has accompanying illustrations, sometimes multiple illustrations for one fic. I think I did at least one illustration for every chapter of The Pirate Fic.

I know why I don't share them. I think it's partly just knowing that I'm not a very good artist, partly the inner critic/fear of being laughed at, you know, that pretty much all creatives wrestle with. There are also practical reasons - for instance, I work with traditional art, and I don't have a scanner, so I'm limited to taking pictures of my works on my phone, which is a pain. But I think mainly the reason is I just feel like people wouldn't like it. I don't see other fanfics have illustrations to accompany them most of the time, so I guess I just feel like there isn't interest.

Anyway, this was a long ramble with very little point. I guess I'm just in my feelings about my art today.

#me and my nonsense

[a-friend-of-mara]

Hi hello yes

Uhhhh

ALSO TRIGGER WARNING!

Talking bout a bit of abuse stuff and will probably pull up some long dormant frustrations regardless of your stability rating

If you're having a bad day or are "fine" but not fine please scroll by and have a nice day

This is gonna be a little crazy for a sec but please stay with me bc it's worth it

You know how in some games (stardew valley for example) your relationship with a character is measured with a single number, let's call that X bc it's a variable, if [person] likes the thing you did you get +relationship points (higher X value) while doing things theu don't like does the opposite, - relationship points (lower X value)

There's nothing wrong with this is games, in stardew valley it's very simple and does its job well

(I promise I'm building to something)

In games like Fallout New Vegas your reputation with the various factions is represented with two variables, infamy and fame, infamy is gained by doing things the faction disapproves of (stealing, helping their rivals, murdering their members), fame is gained by helping thee faction (doing quests for them, helping them with stuff, etc)

Because the game uses two variables which I'll now refer to as I for imfamy and F for fame, paints a much better picture of your relationship with a group of people, because you can't loose infamy or fame, once you get those points they're there forever

(FNV players I know about the midgame switch, I'm making a point)

If you have very high infamy and no fame they hate your guts

High fame, low infamy, they idolize you

That's how it'd be in most games but if you have high fame and got caught pickpocketing more than a few times then they consider you a "good natured rascal"

Overall a very dynamic system

In reality a lot of people, especially those with abusive tendencies will feel guilty about how they treat others and "make up for it"

No ammout of gifts or "I love yous" can make up for certain things, I won't tell you why but I know firsthand why

If someone in your life upset you then you should allow yourself to be mad at them for as long as you need, if they tell you to get over it then they're just not very mature.

Just because you forgive someone for their actions doesn't mean that you have to forget about them too

Please understand that if this sounds like anything that happened to you in your life, you ARE NOT the problem

If you've done something like that to someone else I need you to think about what happened, because from the other point of view, you're a bomb that goes off every so often and it's best just to avoid it for as much of the day as possible and to brace for impact when it's coming

What the fuck do I mean by that? Let's say most of the times you go near your parent/boss/person with power over you and they yell at you/assign you a task you don't wanna do/anything negative for you

How would you respond?

You avoid them!

For parents who are actually trying, look, parenting is really hard, but please, you're just as human as your kids, remember that just because you've been alive for longer doesn't mean you will always know what's best for them

Also speaking from experience, the two worst things you can do to your kids is to make them think they can't be themselves around you or them fearing you

If you wanna see them again after they graduate high school,

Because IRL there's more variables to a relationship than I can count!

If you think it's just one then you're very wrong and need to have some long talks with the people you care about and maybe a therapist

If you sum it up to two, good stuff and bad stuff, that's better

But

Life isn't a game, as much as I wish it was (fuckin wish I could quicksave/quickload)

You are allowed to fuck up, but if you take nothing away from this, if you hurt someone the best way to deal with it is to admit your mistake and say sorry, it may be hard, they may yell at you, but life is rarely easy, and the things worth doing are rarely easy, you're allowed to make mistakes but please, admit when you're wrong and when the time comes, face the music.

[sleepy-moron]

I’m posting about Mike’s mental health again because people are still saying things aren’t that deep and it kinda drives me crazy.

Warning for discussions of mental illness and the cliff scene (so tw for su*cide mentions)

Not every single person with trauma will react in the same way to said trauma! The people saying Mike isn’t depressed would also probably think I’m completely mentally healthy because not everyone acts the same way. It took several years for me to realize I was having depressive episodes because I didn’t feel sad all that often. Some people with depression just become emotionally numb and pull away from other people instead. It’s really tiring to struggle with mental illness in a way that is not noticeable to everyone else. I actually really struggle to open up to other people and getting constantly told that you can’t actually have a problem because you’re “too functional” gets old fast.

I’m sure a lot of the people who have talked about the cliff scene and why it paints a really scary picture of Mike’s mindset have experienced that kind of passive desire to stop existing, because most people won’t pick up on that sort of thing unless they know from personal experience what it’s like. @aemiron-main has a really good metaphor about this, people look for signs of struggling they can recognize so the people not struggling in a visible way aren’t given the support they need because they’re clearly doing “fine”. A lot of Mike’s s4 behavior: being disorganized, struggling academically, strong hatred towards school, general emotional detachment, short temper, “acting out” and poor self esteem are pretty textbook symptoms of depression, yet most people probably wouldn’t make that connection because they believe depression should be “more obvious” than that.

Sure you could dismiss the cliff thing as being a spur of the moment decision because Mike is going through a lot emotionally, but for someone to be like “okay guess I’m going to jump off this cliff so Dustin doesn’t get his teeth cut out” when upset kinda suggests this is something that has been on the person’s mind. Even if Mike is 12, the fact he feels like dying is probably his best option is the kind of thing that gets people put on suicide watches in real life, especially when they’re that young. Mike is so used to having his feelings invalidated whenever he tries to open up by s4 that it’s unlikely he stopped having similar thoughts. He physically tries to shield Will during the shootout and feels like he isn’t needed by the people he cares about, which suggests he still doesn’t value his own life as much as he should. The books aren’t canon but Lucas literally says Mike locked himself in his basement with video games for weeks after the Byers left.

Mike is an uncomfortably relatable depiction of “invisible” depression and the passive desire to just die already, and as someone who struggled with both in my early teens I think it’s important for people to know what that looks like because it could literally save someone’s life.

#mike needs therapy #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied #tw suicide #please read the warnings before opening

[leffee]

Something to tie you over!

- whenever bored games get played with Vinnie around he never understands how to play even the simplest games out there BUT somehow every great while he wins out of pure luck it drives Russell (mr follows the rules crazy)

- Vinnie always looks good in photos even if he doesn’t know a picture is being taken he could have just woken up looks good he could be talking looks perfect sleeping looks adorable Zoe can’t figure out how he does it she says she has never seen a bad photo of him ever

- he LOVES pancakes idk why it’s just something I always see him enjoying they are soft,fluffy and sweet and his all time favorite thing he craves besides mangos he gets so excited and does a little happy dance in his seat when the pancakes are sat in front of him he has to have a limit though because he’ll keep eating till he pukes

- I feel like he would be able to touch his tongue to his nose and show it off whenever asked if he has and “special skills”

- he would have tattoos but they would each have meaning to him each and every one so if asked he could talk about them with pride!

- he copy’s anyone he’s around just out of habit or maybe because he wants to fit in or mimic his friends let me explain- for example in the episode where Mrs twombly was doing the DNA test and Sunil was mad Vinnie started to copy him by crossing his arms too after seeing Sunil do it- I feel like he would copy his friends because doesn’t understand what’s going on in general but others do so coping them is what works best if that makes sense

- whenever he’s really upset Sunil is the only person Vinnie will open up to because he’s the only one who knows how to since they are so close and he knows him so well it’s like second nature to know what Vinnie needs something everyone else can’t do for him

- he zones out so often that he’s missed parts of conversations and while watching tv so he gets lost at what’s happening with a lot of things it’s also something he does when he gets bored or wants to not listen to someone on purpose he’s gotten to good at doing it though and doesn’t realize how often he starts to do it a habit he’s trying to break because he’s tired of the lectures from others about paying more attention to things

- he hasn’t found a wine he’s liked yet but is still willing to keep trying different ones! beer though and hard liquors are alright he is more of a soda guy after all lol

- I have to add this in here because it makes me happy if Vinnie met Russell in another universe (the little hedgehog version)he’d immediately fall in love and hold him and repeat the words “baby rusty” “baby rusty” “baby rusty” over and over he’d feed him snacks and stop anyone else from taking him from his grip because he wants to be with him (according to Vinnie)so they’d have to eventually take him and give him back to Blythe while Vinnie tries to scream and take him back from her

- if you send Vinnie on a mission for something he’ll do whatever it takes to complete it because he’s determined until he gets distracted and he forgets what it was he was doing R: “Vinnie,where are you?” “I sent you to the store an hour ago” V: “oh yeah! Now I remember I was getting milk!” “Im at the mall!” R: “……”

- I feel like he would just have so many random facts in his head and they are super random so it’s anyone’s guess as to what he really knows and when it’s going to come out of his mouth

- he’s a piker and not in the way you’d think lol he sees a pimple it must be gone he’s got a healing wound from falling it must be gone a stray hair nope can’t be there Zoe tell me him that what he does will leave scars and that sticks in the back of his mind but he can’t help it and does it anyway

- he gets so dirty so fast to the point that he has spare clothes at the ready Just in case because it happens so often paints with minka dirty, it rains he’s muddy, eats it’s all over for him

- I feel like he would sometimes shave his legs or armpits because he likes how soft he feels and tells everyone to feel him when he does it

- being scratched is almost as good as being cuddled especially on his back it’s his other form of comfort it’s the one of his ultimate forms of touch and he lives for it

- he doesn’t like being in wet clothes they stick to him and are super uncomfortable so he whines about it when it rarely happens like when pepper pushed him into a pool or when it rained super hard or when he fell at the beach in the water just walking to close to the water he hadn’t changed into his swimsuit and he freaked out about it

- he believes in lucky objects like if he finds a penny or a four leaf clover. he thinks he’ll have luck the whole rest of the day holding either one

- sunil’s parents ask about Vinnie during video calls with Sunil. They check up on him because they’ve gotten just as attached as Sunil has and treat him like a second son. Vinnie loves it though and blushes/smiles when they compliment him in anyway because parent approval is something Vinnie longs for so badly…

- ok last one for now-

- Vinnie doesn’t understand gossip when the girls talk about it. so they freely talk in front of him he gets so lost on who is who and they tell him not to worry about it. he’s tried to ask the other guys why girls do it but they had to break it to him that everyone does it and it’s mostly harmless. well safe to say he did try it himself and ended up accidentally telling madam Pom that Zoe waxes her mustache.. luckily madam Pom is a good friend and explained to him his wrong doing and how it works.They both agreed to keep what he had said a secret in exchange of Vinnie never trying to gossip again lol

Hopefully this amount is ok for now! Sorry if there are any errors or mistakes I was typing fast! let me know what you think! :)

As I said, I already replied to this multiple times in my head, but now it's time to actually, physically reply to it :>. And thank you so much for sending me this when I was in hospital, believe me it really helped to entertain me for a good while, as Mario says let's-a-go:

yes exactly, he sometimes wins by pure luck and without a bit of trying. And of course it drives Russell crazy the most, I mean he follows the rules, actually thinks of strategies, learns from previous mistakes, all that stuff, but then there's Vinnie, who does the exact opposite and still ends up winning sometimes lololo and Russell is just at wits' end

this one actually made me verbally "awww", especially that sleeping part. Of course he looks adorable :3. And Zoe lmao, she's like Russell from the previous headcanon, because of course looking good in pictures is important to her and she tries her absolute best to look good in pictures and still sometimes deletes those pictures because "they're not good enough". And then there's Vinnie who gives absolutely zero fucks about something like that but somehow always ends up looking good ✨. And wait, idea for a follow-up headcanon! Zoe ends up having almost suspiciously big number of pictures of Vinnie on her phone because she tries to get a bad picture of him but just CaN't. "Zoe, why do you have like 200 pictures of Vinnie sleeping?" "Darling, shhh, it's not important."

omg that is also adorable, my boy eating his pancakes happily, sooo cute! And the eating till he pukes. Yeah, that's Vinnie, that's how I see it too. I imagine pancakes with mango would just make him so effing happy because it's basically just a combination of his two favourite foods

yes yes, and touch his elbow with it too. I mean, it's pretty reasonable to headcanon that or rather just headcanon him with a longer than average tongue since you know, lizards have long tongues and all that. But yes, this is my headcanon also. He can just do a lot of unusual things with his body

not only would he talk about them with pride, but he would show them off (sometimes even without being asked lol). And if they're on his arms then it's whatever, but imagine they're on his idk, chest or legs. And then he just starts removing his pants unasked. "Woah, woah, woah, what the hell are you doing? Stop taking off your pants in public!" "What? No no listen, I just have tattoos here, you need to see." Now that makes me also wonder if you have any specific ideas of exactly what tattoos he might have and what they mean.

ok ok yes, it makes sense, and he really does sometimes copies others, doesn't he? My favorite reason for him to do so is to fit in or because he thinks others are probably right so it's easier to just copy whatever they do. But also because he wants to be as similar to them as possible because they're the best and know better than he does. So yeah, he copies others to be more likeable to others (Tbh, according to psychology copying others' mannerisms does make them like you sooo.)

nawww, yes, I mean, it makes sense. And Sunil is just the only one allowed to know especially when he's sad, maybe really sad. I'd imagine that Sunil aside from different things also brings him snacks because he knows that Vinnie stress-eats and it helps him a bit. Though my Vinnie just does not open up to anyone because damn he does not deserve it, the little whiner

Ok, hear me out because I literally have the same headcanon, yes, he zones out a lot. But this one is honestly kinda canon-related? I mean the whole The Very Littlest Pet Shop episode was literally made in Vinnie's head like huh?? Well, not whole but most of it. Did you see how hard he zoned out? So yeah. My favorite part of this headcanon is probably that he just does that not to listen to somebody lmao. I mean, this is such a bastard move and I love it, "Yeah, I don't really wanna listen to this guy but walking off would be rude sooo," and then he completely zones out. I imagine he zones out a lot more when he's very sad, so he doesn't have to face the reality, he just puff! Not mentally there suddenly. However, I'd imagine others often catch up because they'd stop talking and wait for his reply and he's just standing there's motionlessly with gaze not exactly on them. And saying his name doesn't work either in those situations. Like you have to actually slap him sometimes in order for him to come back to reality. Once he does, he's completely bamboozled though because he has no idea what's been happening the last minutes. Also, because I have way too fitting clip I will link it here, because that's what it would probably look like

yeeesh, he is such a soda guy, that's true! And hey, good for him for looking still. To me he's not opposed to any alcohol but has ones that he likes more or less. But in general he prefers stronger stuff because they get him drunk faster and he's not drinking for the taste, you know?

oh my goodness, possessive Vinnie but with hedgehog Russell? Uh, heck ye. BitI just imagine that while Vinnie's all "baby Rusty" chanting Russell is just there with deadpan expression like "I'm literally a fully-grown hedgehog 😐". And while Vinnie's holding Russell he's all love and fluff: 🥰💕💖💗 but as soon as someone tries to take him away he hisses and is the exact opposite: 💀☠️🔥⛏️, he is NOT giving Russell back, he's his! He'll take him home and give him the best place to live possible, damn it!

oh yes, listen, being determined as hell is one of his defining characteristics for me at least, so if you give him a task he WILL do it. Kinda like with that always keeping secrets headcanon, he will keep it no matter what. Oh, but what was bro doing in that mall until Russell called then 😭. Just walking around aimlessly while completely zoned out I imagine. And yeah, if you consider that theadcanon with the headcanon that he often zones out it's not so surprising that he forgot what he was doing, is it?

yes yes, listen, yes. Like he's not stupid, but at the same time the facts he has are so random, he might not know something that is considered common knowledge, but will tell you in detail about something else related to this, and it will be so obscure. Wait, wait, I have a completely fitting for this too give me a sec, aaaand here:

see, this is exactly what I mean, he just seems to have random patchwork of knowledge. To his defence, I also have no first clue where that thing is, must be Americans thing, and I hate America so

no, but I imagine when Zoe first told him that it did the opposite because Vinnie thought "oh, cool! I get to pick stuff and I will have cool scars from it? Yes, please." ANaaand then it turned out it's not the "cool" kind of scars, welp but he can't stop it anyway, typical OCD behavior 😌. No no okay I'm not serious with that though... I'm pretty sure it could be considered it, but on its own it's not enough to say anything really.

ok, but I imagine he forgot the spare clothes a few times and then had to borrow clothes. And he loves borrowing clothes from his friends. Maybe a few times he even "forgot" on purpose, just so someone will give him theirs, like in that painting with Minka case. That also made me think... what if one day he didn't change the clothes and he was all over in red paint. And after that someone saw him just walking around like that, let's say Penny, and she's like "...Vinnie, um, why are you covered in... blood like that?" "Huh? Oh no, lmao, it's just paint, red paint." But she still drags him into her house so he can actually look decent because holy shit that does not look good as it is now

yes, exactly! Me and you truly think the same about him sometimes. He would. He'd shave his legs and as soon as he sees any or all of his friends the first thing he does is show off his now hairless leg proudly and they are just like "ok?" not understanding how that's special but he just insists they should touch that leg. Some... are more willing than others. Minka is very willing for example, hell yeah give her this smooth smooth leg to touch. It's not every day after all that she gets to touch someone else's leg like that, let alone Vinnie's because most of the time he doesn't care about body hair especially on legs and just lets it grow

this this this omg, you know already how much I love this one. Yes, yeeeesh, he loves back scratchies. He just absolutely melts because it feel so good and will do basically anything if you give him a good back scratch, the longer the better. Literally, he doesn't mind it going on for hours if possible, rad marks on his back after that be damned. He also likes that because he has more back pain than he cares to admit. So yeah, he just melts and tries to make it go on as long as possible. And being scratched by more than one person? Oh goodness, he might actually kill just to get it

to be honest, who likes being in wet clothes ahaha. Vinnie doesn't, that's for sure. And Pepper is such a certified pool thrower, she absolutely does that. Especially with Vinnie bc she knows that he won't actually be mad (for too long) and also just because it's easy to push his small ass into a pool or anything else. Also, that beach part, I can't help but imagine him just falling fully face flat but then he's so unhappy that he's all wet that he just lies there for a moment wondering why has God forsaken him

ok, hear me out, what if in some twisted-Vinnie-logic, he though that if holding onto it (like the four lea clover) will bring him luck, then what if he ate it?! Surely that will bring him more luck... right? Not penny though, he wouldn't eat that... well, actually... maybe he would

ah this, I love Sunil's parents basically being Vinnie's parents too because he pretty much does not have ones. This is just such a good headcanon for me argh, I love it. I mean, someone has to ensure Vinnie is still sane, someone who will also be parental with him. Yes, he's basically their second son and he loves it, he loves them so much and is so happy to see them. Video calls are one thing, but he's so happy when they visit in person and practically bounces in anticipation

ok, bit isn't it kinda hypocritical? The girls all gossip like nobody's business but when Vinnie does it it's suddenly bad? Nah, I think we should let him, even if it's about Zoe waxing her mustache. But also, Vinnie and Madame Pom? Why do I like this dynamic when I think about it? Like? Yeeeees, let them be. I say, let him gossip, but not with any of his closest friends, someone else though like Madame Pom or Esteban or Pete. Idk, I think he should actually.

Brooo of course this amount is okay, any is honestly, because if you send me less? Good cause I will reply faster. You send me more? Great, because I love reading them :]

#asks #lps 2012 #my maaaan

[levmada]

you should do a levi ackerman feet analysis /hj

i WOULD in fact be HAPPY to ACTUALLY

i talk a lot about feet in this post and also being attracted to feet so if that bothers you i recommend not clicking ‘read more’ and also not being mean to me about it

first and foremost as a researcher i must address the limited population of my study due to the fact that nowhere in the anime or manga is Levi barefoot. Like catch him in s3p2 at the beach in full uniform😭 Wit, who animated aot for seasons 1-3, rarely VERY rarely made official art with Levi’s barefeet.

(i hate this image he looks like a 12 year old boy)

which isn’t that strange right??? i mean you don’t look at official art expecting to see feet. that means you are normal.

HOWEVER. it is not wit’s lack of Levi feet pics that trouble me. it is Mappa's OVERWHELMING amount of Levi feet pics (these are not all and often he is soaking wet). before i make an analysis, i just had to get that out of the way bc the number of official arts where Levi is barefoot -

literally insane. i’m just saying. not complaining tho

he’s got ankles that could cut throats. do u see how sharp they are.

his second toe is the longest on his foot. the thing that’s crazy is that this is consistent through every official art so in a sense it’s canon that his second toe is the longest on his feet. there’s a name for this and it’s common, but for some people the first toe is the longest. THEY’RE ALL LONG but they’re all very symmetrical. the fucking bone structure. the pronounced knuckles. i would fuxking pay to suck on them. jesus fucking christ

i bet he files his toenails. like even his feet are well-groomed (but are you surprised?) and he doesn’t have those toes that get so tiny by the time you reach the smallest one so that you basically have a claw instead of a toenail. it would be very satisfying to paint them❤️

holy shit the bone structure. the sharp and pronounced and perfectly angular structure of this man’s feet. THE A R C H. LOOK

god i wanna lick them so bad. can i explain why. NO BUT GOD IT’S SO HOT. they’re so fucking arched and pretty. Levi was never drawn in heels bc everyone knew he’d be too powerful.

i would just like to push my tongue through that fuxking arch and suck on his toes. he deserves a massage. i would love to rub his feet and listen to him moan. picturing him admiring his nails after i’ve painted them and hims wiggling his toes. i am so weak.

how big do u think they are. considering Levi's overall size he probably wears women’s size boots and that is so fucking cute.

i fucking love this man’s feet. even his feet are sculpted by the gods. jesus

#tw feet #cw feet #kane has mail #levi.thoughts #levi ackerman #this is an equal acceptance blog for all kinks

[imacookie212]

Shishigumi with an artist partner

General for all the kitties:

• I think that they’d all be very supportive of their partner and probably try to spoil their s/o with expensive paints and materials

• If their s/o happens to be a digital artist, they’d probably get access to every program in existence

• Although I’m sure these lions and respectful gentlemen, I think they’d all probably try and snoop at some of your works, in hopes to find some couple art of ya’ll

Ibuki

• He likes taking you to beautiful private places where you could paint or draw, it doesn’t have to be the scenery but he understands it might provoke those creative juices

• You guys have quiet little dates, often he reads while you paint or draw

• Hangs up your art in the Shishigumi mansion, his place, or make it his wallpaper

Chief Lion

• One of the few lions that ask you to make art for them, he loves to have your art in his office because it’s a constant reminder of his s/o’s work

• He enjoys watching you paint and has a little area in his office for you to work in, it helps him relax from all the stress of running a powerful gang

• He loves having you on his lap while you work on a piece

Free

• He’s all about your art, is it a painting? It’s on the wall. Digital? On his camera roll. NSFW? His private. He loves showing off your work to everyone

• Can you draw me? Upon realizing you make art, it hasn’t stopped, but now he requests cute small drawings of you guys

• Plans to tattoo some of your pieces on himself, and might even ask for a design idea

Agata

• Like Ibuki, you guys have little dates together, he plays video games and you draw

• He tries to draw with you the best he could, and he often suggests little challenges for you two to try, like Inktober. He might not be good at it, but he’s always making an effort to be involved with you

• If you're going through art block, he’s the lion to go to. He always has ideas and tries to cheer you up from being sad about having art block

Dolph

• Gives you feedback on the work you show him, only if you ask, he’s very good and even though he sounds serious, he means well and enjoys all the art you create

• Has some of your smaller prints in his wallet to look at when he misses you and might ask you to decorate a cute polaroid picture of you guys

• He’s always mesmerized by the way you work, and you catch him staring quite a bit at you while you’re working

Hino

• He enjoys watching you create your artworks, if it’s a painting you working on, he gets put to sleep just listening to your brush strokes

• Doesn’t mind posing for you if you need a reference, or if you just wanna paint your pretty bf sleeping

• The most patient out of the Shishigumi when it comes to watching you complete your art from start to finish, he really just finds having a nice s/o creating artwork to be so relaxing and comforting. He’ll stay for hours

Dope

• Gets you the best deals on art supplies, and will get the help of Jinma to find the best places to get those said supplies

• He asks you to draw different eyebrows on him to get the two of you laughing

• Gets you a variety of supplies, like clay, paint and digital tools, he wants you to try everything and he also wants to spoil you like crazy with anything you like

Jinma

• Goes around and finds you the best stationery and art materials, or he manages to get that premium photoshop membership

• Paint on the same spot he has on yourself and he’ll melt, he might let you paint another one over his other eye for fun

• Likes taking you to the nicer areas of the black market, he knows some very beautiful areas that’ll have those creative juices flowing

Sabu

• You bet he’s asking you to design a couple of his bandanas, he’ll wear them with pride, he doesn’t have to say anything to show how happy he is to wear your work on him

• I like to imagine he’s a fan of those really cool graffiti lettering. So he sometimes makes a couple of pieces of his own in that style or practices his lettering

• Both of you design each other's motorcycle helmets, one of his many ways to show he adores your art and has a part of you with him at all times

Miguel

• Like Hino, after a long day working and working out, hearing and watching you work relaxes him and puts you to sleep

• He makes sure you don’t accidentally drink that paint water or get too slouched on your desk, he likes tickling you to make sure you haven’t died on him from working 3 hours straight

• He’s asked you to design some patches for him, so he can iron them onto his tracksuit

#shishigumi #beastars #headcanon #beastars ibuki #beastars free #beastars agata #beastars chief lion #beastars dolph #beastars hino #beastars dope #beastars jinma #beastars sabu #beastars miguel #shishigumi x reader