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kpopnstarwars · 2 months

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Warriors: Choi San x Reader

A/N: ohh boyyy after the kpop fanfic drought im back and it's with warriors au choi san

Summary: San and Reader are mages, which means they are made to serve. They are lowborn, destined to obey humans - the nobles and the highborn - with their every breaths. What if they don't want that?

tw: 18+, smut (p in v, fingering, cockwarming sort of), swearing, violence, death, blood, minimally gory at one point, war, child soldiers (14 yo), society is a shit place to be if you're a mage, tons of worldbuilding, assassins, freaking bath sex, hint at sa at one point from some dude we hate, san is kind of a brat tamer, seonghwa cameo but sad, idk if you can tell but i suck at summaries, mention of a harem, mention of slavery

wc: 4.8k

As a child, you watched from afar, waiting for things you could not grasp.

They told you that you were made to serve. They recounted age-old tales, about gods that crafted humans in their divine hands, moulding the mages afterwards to be commanded by their beloved creations. They filled your mind with legends of faithful individuals of your kind who proved their worth with obedience until you wished to be like your forebears.

Back when you were but an infant, you believed it. You knew the two powers that were bestowed upon you by the gods, varying in every mage, were gifts made solely to assist the highborns. In your naivety, you thought the rosy flame cupped in your small, childish palms would be used to warm the nobles in the icy winter, and that you would fulfil your purpose through that, through being of use to them. They had no shame as they informed you you were just a tool forged for following their orders, and you were convinced it was all true - until you met San.

Although you were the one with the ability to summon an inferno, he was always the one with a burning fire in his eyes. Like all mages, he’d been taken from his parents the moment he didn’t need his mother’s milk - he was given as a peace offering from the Hwangso warlord for his control of water: helpful for the upkeep of the crops.

This occurred in the small period of time in which Hwangso, the neighbouring province, was attempting to forge alliances with your province, Neugdae. Soon after, your warlord breached their territory, claiming it as his - you often wondered if the news filtering back from the front lines of a new settlement captured ever affected San.

You met him when he was an eight year old filled with bottled fury too old for his years, and you were a quiet, invisible seven year old. At those tender ages, neither of you had developed your second ability yet, nor had you gotten a taste of the power at your fingertips, but San still held his head high; you remember marvelling at the way he’d make a point of meeting every single noble’s gaze and holding it. He was just a scrawny, sun browned kid back then - nothing like the elegant lethality of the man that he is now.

Every day until you turned fourteen, you toiled beside him. The work was cruel, your supervisors crueller; the sun would beat down on your back as you laboured in the fields, side by side with San as barely a quarter of the way across the settlement, the nobles sheltered beneath their silky parasols, boasting their pale, porcelain skin. Back then, San never spoke of the injustice of it all out loud, but something about the look in his eyes when he saw them swanning past stirred something inside you. He made you realise that you were not the soulless, mindless puppet that you’d been told you were, but a person.

It wasn’t simply the rage inside him that drew you to him, though. It was the way he remained sweet, kind, despite it all, making sure to send licks of cool mist down your neck when your supervisors weren’t looking, nicking extra crumbs of food for you and remaining beside you, a beacon of light that anchored you to sanity even in the dark.

Even when, you at fourteen, him fifteen, were sent out into battle.

There were always skirmishes between neighbouring warlords: a constant push and pull for more land, more resources, more power. They would attack on a whim - mages were expendable, nothing more than canon fodder; behind each squadron was a noble who would hang back behind the lines, commanding, unbothered by the bloodshed because it was the blood of mere tools.

By then, both you and San had developed your second abilities. San’s was the ability to manipulate shadows, turning them into almost solid shapes that could physically hinder attacks by forming daggers or clutching hands, or could temporarily block the world out in a shroud of rolling black fog. Yours was the art of shapeshifting; you let the outline of your body flicker between forms, changing into powerful, deadly creatures whose substance was inhabited by the soul of a wavering teenager.

You’d known that you’d be forced to fight since you were young, but you never could have imagined the brutality of war.

It was there, in the midst of the battlefield, that any lingering innocence was burned from your soul. You learned that San’s water did not just bring life, but could also fill up someone’s lungs until they drowned upon dry ground, that your fire was not just a source of warmth or light, but could also combust a man’s heart within his chest, that the animals you were teaching yourself to shapeshift into could maul and break bones.

Many nights, you would fall asleep, curled against San, your face buried in his side with his arm wrapped around you, the taste of blood still in your mouth from where you’d torn your enemies’ throat out with the vicious canines of a tiger or the needle sharp fangs of a lynx. You would leave the front lines soaked with crimson, the essence of other people in your hair, smeared on your face, caked and drying under your nails.

It terrified you, how easily you could slice their flesh open with your claws. Armour was not wasted on mages, only generals, so just like you, all they wore were roughly woven tunics tied at the waist and trousers - you met no resistance when you killed your own kind, silent apologies on your lips.

Within the squadrons were also humans that had fallen from grace - criminals who still felt entitled enough by their birthright to think they could have a fourteen year old mage’s body; San protected you until you could protect yourself. In the first few weeks, when the punches he threw were too weak to deter them, he would let them beat him, giving you time to escape before returning to you, limping, lip split and nose bloody but the fire in his eyes never faltering.

On those nights, tears of frustration would leak from the corners of your eyes as you cleaned him up. He could so easily stop them if he used his abilities, but by then doing that without being instructed to do so by a highborn would lead to a flogging or a beating - fairytales no longer worked on you at that age, so your commanders and generals utilised fear mongering instead. You remember the hate and helplessness burning inside you when you looked at them: if all the mages rebelled at once, the nobles would have no chance, but everyone was too scared. Using your abilities on humans only led to execution.

You remember Seonghwa: he was a mage a few years older who cared for you and San as if you were his blood. He got too strong - you can’t recall his second ability but his first meant he could push a man over the brink of insanity, until he frothed at the mouth and his brain boiled within his skull. When you first witnessed the depth of his power, you were originally struck by the pain in Seonghwa’s eyes, and then by the fear in your commander’s.

The next day, Seonghwa was gone.

Often, you wonder if he fought back, or if he just let them kill him.

After, you made San promise that he wouldn’t show them if his powers developed further. He made you promise the same, and when you fought beside him, he was a constant reminder to reign yourself in, to survive. You were more careful with your powers from then on.

Some nights, though, when the frost ridden night air cut right through the ragged material of your blanket, you huddled next to San and lit a small fire in your hands. He’d tell you to stop, and you’d point out that he was shivering; he’d reply that he’d rather that than get you caught, and you would ignore him, not missing the way he tucked himself closer to the flame.

You didn’t tell him, but sometimes you would shift into a small animal, like a raccoon, and steal food for him in the dead of night. You didn’t answer when he asked you where you got it from, just shrugging and thrusting the rolls of bread and strips of dried meat into his hands, telling him he should eat.

When you were sixteen, San discovered he could animate his shadows. He could mould them like clay in his hands, breathing purpose into them - they would disintegrate within about a week or so, their outlines fading until they dissolved into nothing. San shaped a little dragon for you, the length of your forearm and the width of one of your thumbs; he came to you with it cupped in his hands, awe limning his face as the two of you watched it wriggle through the air between you and coil itself around your wrist.

You have many memories of those times, but one remains crystal clear, even to this day. A year onwards from San’s dragon, you found yourself hemmed in by enemy forces, your body tired from the fight - victory was so close for your side, and because of it, the Hwangso fought even harder, like cornered animals. If you broke through them, you would have been able to easily end their commander, but they had you, six to one. Hands closed around your throat, choking, and as the consciousness bled from you, you heard San’s cry, smelt the fear in the air as he tore through them to get to you: that in itself would have been insignificant - you had saved each other countless times through the years - but he had disobeyed a direct command.

He’d been told to kill the commander. He’d had a clear shot, and even still, he’d ignored orders, choosing to save you instead.

Both of you were beaten for it, and even as you heard the sound of San’s ribs cracking, he held your eyes, silently telling you that he’d do it over and over again, if only to keep you with him.

You think that was the moment when the two of you truly got a taste for rebellion. It was the point in the long, winding thread of your life that made you realise that whatever they told you, you would disregard it if it were for San. Their words no longer had as much power over you, because you knew your bond with him was infinitely stronger than any fear they attempted to instil within you.

Soon after that incident, your commander retired, and he was replaced by a man who was more of a fool than him. You began to lose land to Hwangso’s troops, far enough that the settlement where you grew up in was ravaged, razed to the ground. Your commander informed you that you’d evacuate the highborns, leaving the child mages and the servants behind because they would only slow you down - that was the moment you decided to stop listening to him.

The last mage rebellion had been decades ago - they were not ready. It was pathetic how easy it was to overthrow them; together with the rest of the troops and the mages from the settlement, you rebuilt the town and fortified it. San treated his soldiers with respect, with loyalty, and they loved him for it, for the way he would march into battle with them instead of cowering at the rear, for the way he could often be seen in the newly restored fields, watering the crops, for the way he recognised them for who they were.

To this day, you’re in awe of it. Never in your whole life have you come close to anything but fear for a leader, and yet you see it clear in their eyes that they love San, and that he loves them. He is everything that the highborns fear - a powerful, confident mage, wreathed in righteous shadows, fiercely intelligent, a master of strategy.

One of his first moves was to ally himself with the Hwangso warlord, the very man who had given him as a gift to your province. Deep in the highborn’s eyes was the presumption that he could break San and make him yield, followed a month later by pure terror when you held a knife to his neck, hissing to never speak of San like that again. The two of you brought his head in a sack to Hwangso and claimed your rule over the province.

That didn’t mean it was easy, though. There were the nights when San would tremble in your arms, baring his fears to you, his doubts - that it was getting too much too fast: that maybe he really was just made to follow orders. You scoffed at that - you’d seen him grow up, watched his shoulders broaden and his figure fill out with muscle, you’d seen the fire in his eyes blazing with passion; you knew he’d always be more than enough.

You’re not sure when the love blossomed between the two of you. Maybe it was always there, first shown as fierce protectiveness, later as searing kisses where no one could see, of fingers laced with yours in the dark of night. He married you shortly after he began to be recognised as an actual warlord, not a rogue mage; it was a quiet ceremony, but the celebrations of your people were far from that - rumours of the Neugdae province’s mage warlord and his wife rippled like wildfire through the regions, stirring fear and hope alike.

Some wonder why San does not take more wives - he has control over the Baem province as well Neugdae and Hwangso now, and any warlord with that much power would take on a harem without blinking. Not San, though - he’s different from them, he is a mage, a lowborn, his bronzed skin a sign to them of his childhood in the fields, and they find he is an enigma, as is his mystery shrouded right hand man.

But not to you - you understand him as if you share a soul.

On the surface, you are his only wife, aloof and coldly beautiful. In the shadows, you are his sword, his hand. There are myths of you, of the fire wielding ghost that robes itself in a black cowl and changes its skin into a man’s worst nightmare; stories of how you will twist your victim’s thoughts around until he finds the tip of a blade poking out of his chest, speared right through his back. It’s how you prefer to operate - they fear the unknown, and you are the unknown.

The fabric of the bag held in your fingers is soaked with blood. Within it is the head of the Yong province’s advisor. He was an awful man who deserved what you gave him - in a locked room at the back of his house, you found several young mages, half starved and chained by wrist and ankle to each other and a hook set in the wall. Bile bites at the back of your throat at the thought: you’re lucky you never experienced the uglier side of mage slavery.

Night is falling, the sun casting long shadows down the road. You always find the darkness comforting - it feels as if San is near. Today he is; you raise your fist and knock thrice on the solid wood of the gates, lifting your hand in recognition of the guards who peek over the turrets.

Slowly, they ease open the doors, and you stride into the courtyard, your boots clicking against the roughly hewn pavings. A squadron of your soldiers are sparring, but they halt their training when you enter, snapping to attention as you stop at the centre of the space, the dying rays of the sun streaming down the steps towards you, the air still as you wait.

He appears, his gilded silhouette glorious at the top of the stairs. His shadow guards spill down the steps towards you as he descends; their bodies contort and bend, the swirling mass of them parting around you, liquid night, jaws snapping, circling you until you’re surrounded.

A smirk pulls at your lips, and you throw the bag at his feet. You do not bow low, simply dipping your chin as he extracts the head from the sack, inspecting it and nodding before returning it to its roughly woven grave and handing it to one of his shadows to take away. Meeting your eyes, his own filled with amusement, the hint of a smile flashes over his face.

‘Welcome home, my love.’

San’s words are soft, voice quiet enough for only you to hear. You suppress the urge to pull down your mask and kiss him, instead letting your fingers brush against his as you walk with him up the steps and into the hanok; his shadows close the door behind you and the moment they do, he hooks an arm around your waist and hugs you tight, his embrace warm and sweet as always.

You laugh. ‘I was only gone four days, Sannie.’

‘Four days too long for me to be separated from my wife,’ he replies, pushing your cowl back so he can kiss your forehead.

Gripping his shoulders, you tug him down so you can peck his lips before sending him out to the courtyard again - you’re the last person expected through the gates tonight, so he should go out and dismiss the mages training in the courtyard so they can go home to their families and lock up. A happy sigh leaves you as you toe off your shoes, walking through your home and stripping off your bloody clothes before submerging yourself in the pool sunken in the floor. San has already filled it with fresh water, and it takes you mere seconds to heat it up with your fire.

Leaning with your head against the wooden ledge of the pool, you let your muscles loosen, half closing your eyes. The silence doesn’t last long, though - there’s a soft, steady noise coming from the screen behind you, almost like… breathing.

‘Show yourself,’ you command into the still air.

A man steps into view - a human, eyes crazed, knife clutched in his fingers. You realise he does not know who you really are; he just assumes you are the mage warlord San’s wife, delicate and helpless, and you let that role engulf you, backing away to the other edge of the pool with your eyes wide, luring him closer.

‘Your man took everything from me,’ he spits, blade pointed at you as he stalks forward. ‘He took my power, my wealth, my squadron of soldiers. And now I will take his wife.’

Surging out of the pool, you dodge the swipe he aims at you, sending fire surging down the knife’s handle so he drops it with a cry and twisting his arm behind his back in the most painful way possible, wrenching him down to his knees with his face an inch above the water.

‘How did you get in?’ You ask coolly.

‘I’ll never tell y - ’

You send tongues of flame licking down his ribs. ‘Answer the question or suffer.’

The door eases open, revealing San. His eyes land on you, water dripping down your body as you pin the man to the floor, then the distorted reflection from the blade of the knife that’s fallen into the pool, and something dangerous flashes inside his gaze. You let him grab your attacker by the front of his shirt, lifting him off his feet as he brings him face to face with him; you see San’s jaw clench, his hands balling into fists.

‘How fucking dare you try to come anywhere near my wife,’ he growls, shadows coalescing behind him.

You can tell he’s about to say something else, but he stops as the man, trembling and fruitlessly clawing at San’s fingers, wets himself. Your husband’s lip curls in disgust, and he drops him at your feet, pressing him down onto his knees and yanking his head up so he is forced to look up at you. Bending down, you breathe in the sheer fear permeating the air, a soft smile on your face.

‘Now, answer the question.’

‘You’re not his wife,’ he whispers, pale.

‘Oh, but I am,’ you sneer. ‘But that’s not the only role I occupy.’

Slowly, his face drains of colour, horror rippling across it as it slowly dawns on him. He recoils in San’s grasp, scrabbling at the floor in a sorry attempt to put distance between you; he has finally realised who you are and he acts like fucking coward, his mouth gaping wide in a silent plea. Unhurried, you fish the knife out from the pool, twirling it around your thumb before gliding it gently over the skin of his throat.

‘I’m getting impatient.’

‘I - I - the guards, they were distracted upon your arrival, I snuck in at the southern perimeter, please don’t - ’

His words dissolve into a weak gurgle when you slice open his throat. Blood gushes from the seams of the wound, dribbling from his lips, and you step back as he tips forward, landing with a wet thump face first on the wooden floor. Glancing up at San, you sigh before getting back in the pool. One of his shadows carries the body away and your husband tugs his clothes off and slides into the water beside you, pulling you into his chest.

‘He did not hurt you, I presume?’

You snort. ‘He tried.’

San’s fingers run thoughtfully up and down your arm. ‘I’ll talk to the guards. I probably shouldn’t have put Jisung on dusk duty while he was recovering from that fever.’

You nod but don’t answer, instead pressing a kiss to his collarbone. He hums, tipping his head back to give you more access as you mouth at his skin, letting your palms wander over his shapely chest, grip his broad shoulders, skim his waist; you trace the many scars all over his body, and he allows you to, his strong hands gripping your hips when you settle in his lap.

He curses low at the feel of your teeth sinking into the spot where his neck meets his shoulder, his hips jerking upwards, and you both groan at the sensation of the underside of his cock grazing your clit. Smirking, you let your tongue lave over the spot where you bit, pressing a kiss to his jaw and pulling back as his hands tighten their grip on your ass.

‘Missed you too, Sannie. Good to know how much you missed me.’

‘So fucking bratty,’ he hisses.

A thrill shoots through you as he stands, the water sluicing in rivulets down the planes of his chest, lifting you and laying you on the edge of the pool, pinning your knees to the wood and spreading you open. The crude way he looks at you is all consuming, his eyes surveying you from where he stands with the water to his mid thigh, watching as your pussy clenches at the sight of him towering over you.

San remains there, just looking at you, and you curve your spine, almost whining in attempt to make him touch you without you asking for it. His lips quirk to the side as you squirm, trying to inch your hips down so you can grind against him, but his fingers tighten on you, refusing you.

‘What is it you require of me, love?’

Finding your attempts unsuccessful, you huff, glaring at him. He loves to do this, make you articulate exactly what you want from him - he likes the flush that heats your cheeks, your body still shy even after all your years with him, he likes the breathy noises you make when he forces you to tell him just what you desire when all you can think of is his dick, he likes it when you can’t help but beg him.

‘Y - your fingers,’ you mumble. ‘And your cock.’

‘Say that louder for me, sweetheart, I didn’t catch the last bit.’

‘Your fingers and your fucking cock,’ you snap - a sorry endeavour at trying to hide how much you love when he inflicts this upon you.

San raises an eyebrow, not moving to touch you. Waiting.

‘Please,’ you add.

He smiles. ‘There we go. Wasn’t so hard, was it?’

Your mouth opens to retort, but he slips his fingers inside you, and your back bows, a soft moan leaving your lips as he sweeps his thumb over your clit, his other hand palming your breasts, his tongue dragging over your skin. Burying your hands in his hair, you tug, making him groan low and deep as you pull him closer.

Delectably, his fingers curl, and you ache for him. San has ruined you for anyone else, he is branded onto your soul and also your body, fading marks from your last time together still slightly visible on your throat - a necklace of love bites, laying claim to you. He catches your chin as he brings you closer to the edge, tasting your moans on his tongue, grinding his palm against your clit.

You keen, coming hard around him, chest heaving, and he smirks, holding your waist as shudders wrack your legs from the aftershocks. The fire in his eyes burns ever brighter, so hot you feel your stomach go molten - your hands tighten on his shoulders, nails raking over his back, your tongue unable to form anything other than his name.

‘You’re always so willing to behave once your pussy’s full, hm?’

‘No, I,’ you start, but cry out when he pinches your clit in warning, the muscles of your thighs jumping as it lances through you, white hot. ‘Y - yes, yes, I am, please - ’

In one fluid movement, San buries himself inside you, sheathing himself until his hips kiss yours. Catching you wrists in his hand, he pins them above your head, and your back arches as he pulls out, agonisingly slowly, every ridge and vein of his cock dragging on your walls before slamming back in, tearing a cry of his name from your chest. Tugging your legs up from where they were wrapped around his waist, he hooks your knees over his shoulders - the new angle makes you sob, writhing beneath him as his cock head drives into perfection, drives you to euphoria.

Sometimes, San makes love to you, but not tonight: tonight he fucks into you mercilessly, traces of possessiveness lacing his actions as he litters your skin with bites, his hands leaving exquisite bruises on your hips. Pleasure tears through you like an arrow through your heart, white hot and maddening, ravenous.

‘You fit around my cock so well,’ he pants. ‘Like you were made for me, sweetheart.’

Something snaps inside you at his words, and as if he senses it, San presses his thumb down hard on your clit, speeding up his thrusts until the air is punched from your lungs. Stars flash before your eyes, and your mouth falls open, toes curling as you come on his cock, your cunt convulsing around him, thighs twitching; he doesn’t stop, just continues ploughing into you, and you tremble, tears slipping down your cheeks at the relentless pound of his hips into yours.

With a gasp, he pulls out and comes over your stomach, his wide shoulders rising and falling with heaving breaths, and you groan as he eases you back into the warm water, a hand cupping the back of your neck as he tucks your head under his chin, sliding his softening cock into you again. Wrapping your arms around him, you press a kiss to his jaw and rest your hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm.

‘How do you feel, my love?’

You nuzzle your face into his shoulder. ‘Good. Really fucking good.’

He laughs, and you bask in the sound of his happiness and the comfort of his warm skin against yours. San’s hands run up and down your spine, soothing, and you smile sleepily; you are home, reunited with your other half, the missing part of your soul.

With San, you are complete.

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lost-in-beacon-hills · 7 months

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I think at this point everyone has different opinions on each of the Districts and honestly I love that. It's so fun to read people's thoughts.

(I'm sure I'm not the first person to think or say this but) I have a theory on why District One/Two win so many of the games beyond just being Volunteers in a game full of people going in blind.

It's something I've thought heavily about and even incorporated into my own fanfics.

But District One, I think, they win by raising their volunteers to be pretty. They train them to fight, yes, but I think they pull sponsors by making their kids "sexy." In both the book and movie, Glimmer is heavily sexualized. In the book, she's in a sheer gown that shows everything. In the movie, they tone it down but still show quite a bit of her body during the interview. Even the two victors we get to hear a little more about (Cashmere and Gloss) are mentioned to be pretty. Despite being a sibling duo, they're incredibly popular within the Capitol.

But even after they get 'popular' they don't turn down their attractiveness. She still dresses pretty with make up and smiles like she's been taught to do. He's still beefy and hot. You would think if they had any bodily autonomy they would start to tone themselves down in order to get away from the sex slavery.

I think sex appeal is what makes them a victor. Literally. People 'sponsor' them in the hopes of getting to fuck them. They get told that these people are who they're indebted to and most likely are forced into sex as a way to 'repay' them. Everyone says if Glimmer had won she would become the next Cashmere. Which is true. But no one points out how this is planned and a tactic that one consistently uses. Once they win they realize how fucked they are. They don't know they shouldn't want to win until it's over. It's too late to back out. Part of why Cashmeres life is devastating is because Gloss knew what was coming and he wanted better for her. But it happened away. And now they're stuck repaying the Capitol with their bodies.

In Two I think they raise fighters. They put all their effort into skill, endurance and survival. Out of all of the districts I think they do the best at giving them a chance. They make sure they send the best trained, the most skilled and the smartest. Clove is such a good example of this. She never missed her target. (Except for when Katniss moved the backpack making her miss). She was brilliant. Cato too. He was strong and a fantastic fighter. They only lost because the story demanded Katniss win. Hell there's so many moments where Katniss almost dies at their hands only to **magically** get away. (Thresh owing her, tracker jacker nest, not seeing her a few feet away) all of it. They weren't stupid meat heads. They were warriors. Children raised to kill.

I think they delbrately send plain victors. They don't want want to send "pretty" kids. They tone down any sort of beauty their tributes have. One of my favorite examples is Enobaria. She's pretty. And I think that's her downfall. It's mentioned in the series that she wins by ripping another tributes throat out with her teeth. (A popular theory is she was raped and used the very last thing she had in order to get away.) But she ends up getting her teeth filed down. While a lot of people think it was the Capitol, I believe it was her mentors. They filed them down, knowing she wouldn't be able to be raped again. I mean, who would have sex with her knowing one wrong move and you could be dead? She can bite your dick off in seconds if she wanted to. (Not to say she doesn't get booked) It would sway a lot of people away. I think much like Haymitch fighting against Katniss's breast implants, her mentors fought to get her teeth sharpened.

If they're able to I believe Two will alter the victors in order to make them less desirable. One plays it up, Two tones it down winning off skill and merit alone. Any sponsors they get isn't driven by sex.

It's why they win so much, and why the other districts have such a hard time getting sponsors.

I also think that District Four, the last of the career pack, has it's own way of creating victors. They send tributes like the rest but I think they do something different from the rest. My own headcanon is that they send orphans. It's fucked up but if I remember correctly they never mention Finnick having family.

I think they take the kids with nowhere else to go and put them in a training center. Whoever scores the best goes that year. Unluckily for Finnick, he was picked at 14. He was attractive, and part of me thinks Mags played into that to give him the advantage, thinking he didn't have family to leverage. It would have been fine, but then Annie happened. They use her as a control tactic.

I also think Finnick is the reason it was a one and done on leaning into the sex appeal. It fucked him over. Annie was pretty too but she wasn't used. (No one has ever said ah yes she's crazy let's just not rape her, fuckwads do it anyways.) But I think Mags learned from her mistake and played Annie down. Made her less pretty like they do in Two.

It's fucked. The entire system is fucked. But I think each 'career' district creates winners any way they can. No one in Four would volunteer they're disillusioned unlike one and two. So why not send the kids who have nothing, no one to come back to? In Two why not train them and maim them after to keep them safer? In One why not make them fuckable to win? They won't understand until its too late?

Maybe I've overthought this. Probably have. Idk. Just a thought.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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AITA for getting mad at a friend over Harry Potter?

🏳‍⚧🎊 <- for recognizing this later

I (15X) have this IRL friend who we'll call A (14X). A and I are both under the trans/nonbinary umbrella, which I feel will be important. A also suspects that they have autism, which I won't deny, I feel like they do as well.

A is one of my best friends, and I've known them since we were 8 years old. We generally know what types of media would be considered dogwhistles towards marginalized groups - or so I thought, which is why it surprised me when A said they were getting into a mild HP hyperfixation.

A tends to hop around from fixation to fixation, and currently has been into Percy Jackson for the past month, constantly sending screenshots of their favorite moments in different fanfics to a group chat, including me and another friend, J (14X). I'd been fine with that, as A usually did this with any fixation and I thought it was fine.

One thing I did know is that PJO and HP crossovers are really popular (or at least, they were - not so sure about now), but I didn't think that A would associate with anything relating to HP. But then one day, I saw that A was talking with J about sorting their favorite PJO characters into different Hogwarts houses. If you haven't read HP, the school is called Hogwarts, and there are four houses within the school that you can get sorted into based on personality traits.

This surprised me, a lot. I thought that we all knew HP wasn't the greatest series (romanticization of slavery, anyone?), and that the author herself was a complete piece of shit. But when I voiced this, A basically said that they were rewriting the series to be "gayer" and more trans-accepting.

This troubled me. For one thing, as we were all trans, I thought they would know not to associate with HP in any way, shape, or form. I replied with, "You know JKR thinks people who support her books are transphobic, but are just too afraid to say it, right?" (Yes, I'm fairly sure she did actually say this. I wasn't lying.)

A responded with, "Who cares what JKR thinks? She's a bigot. Separate the art from the artist."

I couldn't do that, personally. HP felt too tainted by JKR's actions and words, and it felt wrong to come up with an excuse to engage with the series. I told A as such, and they replied with, "okay" and haven't responded to me or to the group chat since. J has spoken in the group chat, but hasn't said anything about our debate over HP.

Immediately, I was worried I had upset A too much. I thought they would understand, but I felt like I had accidentally crossed a line with them. I sent them a private message telling them I apologized for upsetting them, but I'm not sorry for what I said about HP. And I can't go to apologize to A in person, because I live an hour away from A and J. J hasn't updated me on A's position at all, and I haven't asked.

So I'm not sure. HP sucks, and I thought A would realize that as a trans person as well, but it also felt like I had personally insulted them by insulting their side fixation.

AITA? TL;DR My friend, A, got a side fixation into Harry Potter. This troubled me, as we are all trans, so I told them off for it, and now they won't talk to me.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

139 notes · View notes

cornfowercowboy · 2 months

Text

When can I be free?

Chapter 1

The Bad Batch x Outlaw!reader/OC

Warning: Mention of blaster wounds, blood, swearing, toxin relationship, slavery, death, Reader has Poliosis ( has natural streaks of white hair.)yelling, threatening, manipulation. Lots of Angst, like a LOT

Word count : 5850

Summary : You and your boyfriend are outlaw bounty hunters. You and your boyfriend are trying to disappear from the galaxy and both live a normal life together. But will happen when a few rebels stop both of you from delivering a package to the Empire ?

A/n: Hi! This is my very first fanfic, I have never wrote before and this is my first series I’m doing sooo I’m so nervous about posting this. I have no idea if I’m going to continue this but I really hope you enjoy it! Please excuse any grammar errors I made, I’m dyslexic so I’m so sorry if scenes or sentences don’t make sense :’) anyway, enjoy my very first post!!

Also check me out on AO3 !!! :D

(Also Readers outlaw name is Star! Star is not her real name :pp)

———————————————————————

Being an outlaw was hard in the big galaxy, but being an outlaw bounty hunter made it 10 times harder.

It’s been months since the republic had fallen and the empire had risen. Coruscant had changed a lot since, but that didn't change how you worked.

You and your boyfriend Michael have been on Coruscant for a little more than a month, laying low and waiting for big bounty hunters jobs opportunity to come up. While you waiting for a new mission to come in, your job (for now) is to work as a waitress at a bar.

And that’s where you are now.

“[ Y/n ]” you hear someone call your name. you turn around in your seat and find Michael there, walking towards you with a smile on his handsome face. You smile back at him feeling a warm heat coming from your chest.

“ Michael, sweetie..” you say, getting up from your seat and giving him a long warm hug. Michael was your everything, you knew each other your whole lifes. He was there when you needed him most..He loved you.

“How was work?” Michael asks you, as he gives you a small kiss on your cheek.

”Oh..you know..same thing every day Michael..” you say to him as you cup his cheek with your hand. Although how sweet the moment was, it quickly ended. Michael glances up at your hair and the smile on his face fades away into a disgusted expression.

“[ Y/n ] your hair!” He angrily whispered to you, looking around the room to see if anyone was watching. You panic at his words and pull a strand of your hair to find…white hair. ‘Shit’ you thought.

Ever since you and Michael started to become Bounty hunter’s he started to be..overprotected..at least..that's what you thought.

“I thought I told you to cover..THAT up…!” Michael said angrily to you, he pushed you towards the back where the changing rooms are. “I- I did- I just..-” you try explaining to him but he just cuts you off and sighs.

“ I don't care. Just-” he paused as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “ Just get ready and go to the ship. We have a job to do, AND don't take long” he said to you lastly and left.

You sigh angrily and start walking towards the employee changing rooms. That's when you paused and looked to your right. One of your coworkers was leaning against the wall with a sorry expression on her face.

“He’s still rough on you eh?..” she said to you, you smirked at her.

“When is he not sugar?” You say back to her, as you resume your walking. “You know…you tell me if things get bad..right?” she said back to you, making you look back at her. A Concerned and worried expression wash over her face, your eyebrows scrunch as you thought deep for a moment. You look back up at her with a reassuring smile.

”I promise, sugar”

—---------------------------------------------------

When you got back to the ship you immediately headed to the refresher so you could take a nice shower. The water was warm and inviting, the soap made your skin feel soft and warm. Something you needed after the day you had on Coruscant. When you got out, you quickly dried and dressed yourself.

Your outfit was simple for a bounty hunter, you wore a white button up shirt covered by a chest plate armor and topped with a worn down brown jacket. Your pants were black under some brown chaps, with some beat down brown square cowboy boots. You check yourself out in the mirror, man.

you looked good.

You smile to yourself as you tie a yellow bandana around your neck, before someone calls out your name.

“Star!” You hear Michael yell your name from the cockpit. “Yeah?”

“Get your ass up here, we're coming out of Hyperspace”

He yelled back at you, you sigh and turned to walk out of the refresher before you stopped and looked back at the mirror. You looked at yourself for the last time.

A strand of your [ H/C ] mixed with a little of your white hair was out of place. You stare at yourself deep in your thoughts. ‘It's just you.’ you thought for a moment. You snap out of your deep thoughts before pulling the strand of hair back in place, finally walking out of the refresher towards the cockpit.

“So what is our mission?” You say as you walk in the cockpit, Michael was sitting in the pilot seat pressing buttons on the control panel. “We're just picking up and delivering a package” He said as he pressed another button.

“A package?” you asked in confusion as you sat down in the passenger seat. “Honey we’re Bounty hunter’s, not some delivery guys..” you told him, Michael glanced back at you for a moment.

“ It's a special order,” He turned in his chair so he could face you. “From the Empire” Your eyes wide and your heart drops at the sudden news.

“The Empire!? Michael, are you trying to get us caught?” Michael only smirked at you before turning away. “Relax babe, all they said was go in and get the job done. No questions asked.”

“That doesn't mean we're safe from the law, Micheal!”

Micheal looked at you with an annoyed expression on his face, he rolled his eyes at you. “Star, you're overreacting. This is our chance to be free and live a normal life, without running away from the law.” He said to you as the ship jumped out of hyperspace. An uncomfortable silence swallows the ship whole, you sit there thinking in your thoughts.

Soon the ship landed, Micheal pressed a few more buttons before getting up from his seat. You sat there staring at him angrily, wondering why the kriff he’s so difficult to work with today. Micheal started reloading his blaster and packing more supplies in his bag. After staring daggers against his head for a good minute, you soon sigh in defeat as you stand up and start reloading your own blasters. As you put both of your two blasters in your holder, you look at the table next to you.

It’s your cowboy hat.

You stare at it, before picking it up. You smile, feeling the rough material on your hands. Suddenly a loud noise snaps you out of your thoughts, you turn around to see the ship door has lowered. Micheal stared at you with an annoyed expression on his face. “Come on star, we don’t have all day..” He said before turning around and started exiting the ship. You sigh at him as you put on your hat, before exiting the ship after him.

You take a deep breath of the fresh air around you, looking around the scenery. The trees surrounding you were bright green and fresh. You looked over at Micheal, he started to put a blue bandana over his nose and mouth covering the half of his face before looking at you.

“Just like I said Star, in and out. Just as easy as that babe.” You can't see his face but you can just tell he’s smiling under his mask.

You close your eyes in defeat, before opening them. You sigh as you take your yellow bandana around your neck and put it over your nose and mouth.

“This doesn’t mean that we’re done with our conversation Hun.” You say as you begin walking on a dirt path with Micheal trailing behind you.

“There should be a dealer meeting up with us to drop off the package just a few clicks from here.” He said behind you.

A few clicks had passed by, you and Micheal finally met up with a dealer. The dealer was loading out a big metal crate on a cart from the ship, about as tall as you and Micheal. The dealer had noticed both of you approaching him, he turned to face both you and Micheal.

“You must be Micheal and Star. You guys are here to pick up the package?” He said to both of you. His voice was rough, like he smoked for a living. It was disgusting.

“Yes sir we are,” You say as you observe the metal crate, before looking at the dealer and Micheal. “This is a bigger package than we expected..what’s in it sugar?”

“Eh, just some pet or somethin the empire wants.” The dealer answered back to you.

“Well whatever it is, it’s very valuable to the empire.” Micheal said as he got on the cart with the metal crate.

“Be sure to deliver this package with no damages, they said it needs to be alive when it gets delivered.”

The dealer nods at both of you before getting on his ship and flying off. You kept on looking at the metal crate while Michael was pressing buttons on the control panel, preparing to take the metal crate back to the ship. As you look closer at the crate you realize that there’s holes on the sides, breathing holes.

‘Hm..must actually be a pet then..’ You thought in your mind. ‘But..why would this pet be so valuable to the empire-‘

*SNAP!*

The sound of a tree twig snapping draws both yours and Micheal’s attention, Drawing both of your weapons up towards the source of the sound. Only to find a man in full clone armor.

“Maker dammit…” you mumble under your breath.

“Give us that crate. And no one gets hurt.” The man demanded, raising up his own blaster as 4 more armor men walked in with their own weapons in hand. All of them being different heights.

Rebels..

“Unless you're the escorting back up, we’re not giving you nothin sugar.” You say back to him coldly, both of your and Micheal’s blaster are pointing at them.

“Listen, just give us back the kid and we’ll be on our way.” The leader asked you, his voice was very demanding and smoky.

“A kid? There- there’s no kid here,” Micheal said with a bit of a trembling voice. Your eyes frown a little bit as you glance at Micheal, he notices your concern in your eyes.

“Oh come on babe, don’t believe this Rebel. He’s lying, let's kill these rebels and be on our way.” He said with a bit of an annoyed expression. Suddenly, a loud noise came from inside the metal crate that drew your attention away from the threat in front of you.

The loud noises sounded like banging noise, like...someone banging on the inside of the crate.

Panic started creeping in your chest as you glanced back at the crate.

“Don’t listen to him Star! He's making crap up so we could open it and let our bounty get away.” Micheal said to you as he kept his gaze trained on the five men. His voice sounded panicky.

The banging on the metal crate doesn’t calm you down, glancing at Michael then the 5 armor men before slowly turning around and walking closer to the lock of the door. Your hands tremble in more panic as you start unlocking it.

“Star- Star!” His voice sounded like he was panicking. He tried telling you to stop but it was too late.

You finally unlock the door. Your hands were up against it, keeping it in place. You started to feel that same bad feeling you had before. You take a deep breath, before opening it up slowly. The door was now wide open, and inside that big metal crate was…

A little girl with blonde hair..

With a shock collar around her neck.

A shock collar.

A Zygerrian Slavers shock collar.

The same slave collar you Ẅ̶̧̱͕̝͒͘̕̚o̷͖̻̘̬͖͑r̷̲̭͈̻̣̄è̴̱̔̚͝ ̵͓͕͑͑̐͗a̷̬̔͊̅͐̒s̵̠̝̊͗̂̚͝ ̵͍̮͎̳̋á̵͈̯̂͊̊́ C̵̛͓̘̪̪̓̿̓͂ḧ̶̬͇͙̭͉̠̲́̈͋í̷͇̮̥̪̹͕̻́̃̃͒l̵̨̨̥̠̲̳͙̦̩̈́d̴̮̣͓̖̠͈͉͈̦̯͖͐͜…

The world around you began to spin, you felt sick to your stomach. Your hands began to shake, and you realized you were breathing hard. When did you start struggling to breathe? Your body began to tremble as you slowly began to step back, away from the little girl. She looked so scared out of her mind.

“Star…”

You quickly turned around and saw Micheal, his bandana was not covering his face anymore. His face had a neutral expression, not shocked, not scared, nothing. You take a deep breath before talking.

“Did..did you know?”

“What?”

“Did you know!?” Your voice sounded more demanding and trembling. Micheal didn’t say anything back at you, he just kept quiet.

He did know.

He didn’t tell you because he knew you would have done something.

He knew there was a little girl inside and did nothing just for money.

“Let the kid go,” The leader of the rebels asked again. You stare at Micheal waiting for him to say something but he just stands there, doing nothing. You stand there thinking in your own thoughts, your heart is shattering to pieces by the minute.

“Why are you trembling, Star?” Micheal pauses before talking again

.”If we continue this mission, I- we! we..would be free. Together. Come on babe, Do the right thing!” He said back to you as his voice became louder and angrier.

Your eyebrows scrunched up and frown, your hands ball up in a fist in anger. Stepping away from him. “Sometimes doing the right thing is better than being free, Micheal.” You turned away from him, walking back towards the little girl. You hear Micheal sigh in disappointment.

“You never did listen to me, Star.” You hear Micheal press a button on the control panel and suddenly the cart turns on, making you stop walking. You turned to face him and tell him to stop.

“Micheal, what are yo-“

*BANG!*

…

The world moved too fast for you.

Your brain doesn’t even register what just happened.

You close your eyes as you feel painful pressure push onto your stomach, you feel the dirt ground on your back . Putting your hand on the lower side of your stomach you feel hot liquid touch your fingers. Blood, lots of blood.

You were shot.

Who the hell shot you?

Horrible pain settled on your stomach as your ears started ringing, your head was pounding. Over the loud ringing you heard yelling, blaster shots, and running footsteps. You didn’t want to open your eyes, until you heard a loud muffled talking over you.

You opened your eyes and looked up, the sky was now covered in gray and black clouds. You try your best to look towards the talking. It was the rebel squad.

They seem to be yelling at each other. As you look closer, you realize the cart that had Micheal and the girl was gone. Panic settles in your chest, only making it harder to breathe as you try to talk.

“T-The..girl..” You groaned in pain, catching the rebels squads attention. The leader of the squad squats down at your level, gently putting a hand on your shoulder. You can hear his muffle voice over the ringing sound in your ear, he sounded like he was asking you a question. You didn’t know what question he asked so you said the most logical thing.

“The ship..,” you pause as you take a deep breath before talking again. “Just..a few clicks away from here.. south…”

The leader nodded then quickly stood up and turned to his squad. The muffle voices seemed like he was commanding them, you closed your eyes and groaned in pain as you put more pressure on your wound. The ringing in your ears finally fades away, as you hear multiple footsteps fade away into the distance.

They must be going after Micheal…

The footsteps slowly go far away from you, you finally relax your body in relief. You sigh painfully before trying to get up from your laying down position, when suddenly a hand pushes your shoulder back down on the ground gently. Your heart dropped, your eyes shot open and you began to struggle to breathe again.

Did one of them stay behind to finish you off?

“Take it easy.” A calm voice said to you. You look over at the voice, a man in full clone armor with orange goggles was kneeling beside you. “Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. you're already hurt enough.” he said that last part under his breath, but was loud enough for you to hear.

“Why are you…” You stop talking when he takes off his helmet. His face was tan color, he had a firm expression like he was serious all the time.

“ Just calm down, don't waste your energy.”

He said putting his flesh hand on your wound, you whine in pain as he puts pressure on it. “I apologize for putting more pressure on your wound, but this will only take a minute to try and stop the bleeding. Please sit up”

You do as he asked, with another whine leaves your mouth in the process. He then gets out some fresh bandages, gently wrapping it around your stomach and your bleeding wound.

Slowly but surely patching you up. You look at him as he keeps wrapping the bandages around you. He was so focused on patching you up he didn't realize you were staring at him.

“Why are you..helping me?”

you said as your voice was muffled by your bandanna.Your voice snaps him out of his focused state, he locks eyes with you. He thought for a moment, his eyes softened as he looked at you. He opened his mouth to speak but shut it when a voice suddenly came through his helmet.

“Tech? Come in Tech! Where are you, we need you now!” This man who is named ‘Tech' quickly puts on his helmet back on a comms back.

“Just finishing up right now, we’ll be there in a few clicks” Tech said standing back up on his feet.“Here, let me help you up.” He then puts his arm under your armpit and helps you stand up on your two feet. You whine in pain again, feeling the blood rush back to your head.

“You are surprisingly taking this very well, have you been shot before?” Tech ask you

Your eyes frown in anger. “Multiple times, from Rebels like you.” You say as you pushed him away. Suddenly without his support your body feels way heavier than you realize, Gravity hits you down and you almost fall right back down onto the ground but was saved by Tech. Tech puts his arm back under your arm and you put your arm over his shoulder.

“I would not do that if I were you, you are still in a rough condition as of right now.” he said to you, you scoff back at him.

“Yeah no shit I'm not..” You say to him as you groan under your mask, you need to get out of here. You look up at him, his face close to yours. You just stare at him, his eyes had a concerned expression. Pity, Pity from a Rebel that tried killing you. How funny.

Tech comms went off again. “Tech we could really need you!” the voice said though.

“We are on our way” Tech said as he started walking you back to the ship. Suddenly you feel water roll down your head, it starts raining.

“Kriff! just my luck..” you say angrily, your blood was boiling by the moment. A few clicks went by and you started getting tired and drowsy, you both were really close. You couldn't give up right then and there. You feel techs eyes on you, he stays silent before saying something.

“Back there where I ask you, have you been shot before. what did you mean by ‘Rebels like you’ ?” you both stop walking, turning to look at him. Your eyes scrunch down.

“ Are you serious??” you looked at him in disbelief, you searched in his face to see if was joking.

He wasn't.

“Yes, I am very serious” he said back to you, he was genuinely curious. It makes your blood boil. You scoff at him again, before talking again.

“You guys shot me, you try killing me! Are you really that dumb!?” You started walking again dragging tech with you, his eyes widened at you outburst before scrunching down in confusion.

“ We didn’t not shoot you.” Tech said bluntly, you laughed loudly. He was seriously trying to lie to you?

“Heh yeah right, Rebel. Try lying to me again I might just put a blaster bolt in your head..” you said threatening him, though he was unphased about it and still had a serious expression on his face.

”We didn’t shoot you, It was your partner that shot you,” Tech said back to you.

You frost in your place before turning to him. “what did you just say..?” Your heart stops, time seems to stop for a click. Did you hear him correctly?

“Your partner, he was the one that shot you.”

“No..no! he didn't he just-”

“Yes he did, he shot you then took the girl without you. Which..is concerning since..you both looked really close.” he said back to you before walking again. Your mind was going everywhere and your heart was racing.

Did..Michael really shoot you..Just like that?

Leaving you to die by the Rebels?

Tech noticed your quietness, but said nothing. The only sound that was keeping you both company was just the sound of the rain and the faint blaster noises up ahead of you.

Tech kept on glancing at you, like he wanted to say something and he did. “I’m sorry for what has happened to you.” Tech said to you. You didn’t know if it made you more angry or sad than you already are, you just felt..

“I don’t need your pity from a Rebel like you.” You said bitterly. Tech just nodded and kept walking with you.

You and Tech both stopped walking in front of a forest of trees. Just beyond those trees was the real fight, a fight you didn’t want to face. The faint blaster was loud now.

Tech carefully sat you down at the bottom of a tree trunk all of a sudden, he stood up and ran towards the blaster sounds.

“Wait where are you-“

“Stay here, I’ll try to be fast” Then he was gone, running into the other side of the forest. Leaving you with your thoughts and the sound of yelling.

Your mind was all over that place, you felt so many emotions you just couldn’t keep up. You feel angry, sad, bitter, betrayed, and you just can’t think anymore. You swallowed down a bubble that was forming in your throat, you wanted to cry.

But you can’t.

You can’t cry now.

That little girl is in danger.

Because you failed.

You failed and were left to die.

Your blood was boiling.

You need to face this fight.

You need to face Michael.

You need to make him pay for what he has done.

Your hand slowly moves up the tree, grabbing the side and slowly pulling yourself up on your feet. You groan as you feel pain shoot up your body, you lean against the tree taking a click to breathe before you start walking. You grip the side of your stomach in more aching pain, making you limp as you walk.

As you walk through the many trees in front of you, you start hearing a familiar voice yelling really loud. The sound of Michael yelling. As you got closer, all you saw was the Rebel squad cornering Micheal with all their blasters pointing at him. In Micheal's hand was a blaster, and in his other hand he was holding on the blonde little girl's arm next to a cliff.

Your eyes frown down in anger and without a warning your body started moving on its own.

“Michael!” Your voice was loud and angry when you called out his name. Your presence shocked the rebel squad, and Michael himself.

“[ Y-Y/n ]” Michael’s face had a horrifying expression on it, his eyes were wide open like if you just came back from the dead.

“You…you left me to die!” You said as you limped over to him. “You shot me..!” The rain falls down on both of your faces.

“My dear…” Michael said as he hesitantly slowly walked over to you. “You're alive..” his try getting close you back away from him.

“You shot me!”

“W-what? My dear, I would NEVER do that to you! I love you so much..” Michael said to you, you glance over at the Rebel squad and your eyes find Techs. His eyes were narrowing down, but then they softened when he found yours.

You got the feeling he was trying to tell you not to believe in Micheal’s words.

“I don’t know what them Rebels told you, But they're trying to make you against me!” You look back at Micheal, give him your full attention.

“Believe me, My dear. Then after we kill ALL of them and take the kid, we both can be free and have a family together..” Micheal said, smiling sweetly to you. Days before this day, you would have believed him, tell him how much you loved him and how you loved to have a family together.

But that was back then.

“Okay..I believe you, My love..” you said softly as you limp over to stand beside him. Micheal sighs in relief before laughing and pointing his blaster back at Tech and his squad mates.

“See…everything is going to plan..” Micheal said as you take one of your blasters from your holder and your other hand still holding onto your blaster wound. You point up your blaster at Techs squad. Your eyes find Tech's eyes again, his eyes were filled with hurt and pain at your choice.

“After we deliver this little brat to the empire, we'll disappear without a trace!! Free from the law and live our own lifes!!” Michael laughed out loud in a psycho way. You stare at tech, before you wink at him. His eyes frown in confusion before realizing what you were going to do.

“I don’t think so.”

You pointed your blaster at Micheal and pulled the trigger. You shot him right in the back. Michael yelped in pain , letting go of the little girl in the process but quickly recovered as He pointed his own blaster at you and tried shooting you. You dodged the bolt and quickly tackled him.

As you tackled him, he began to fall down the steep hill but not without taking you with him. You both tumbled down the hill but quickly stopped as you fell onto the muddy wet ground.

You are now laying down on your stomach, your bandana and cowboy hat was now off of you, probably fell somewhere around where you landed. Your body was so weak and you felt your nose begin bleeding as you felt the rain hit your back. The bolt wound was hurting 10 times worse now.

You can't give up now.

Without another thought you feel someone standing over you, hands gripping your back and harshly flipping you over. Micheal was standing over you with a big smile on his face, his hand gripped around your neck, and he squeezed tightly. Your hands gripped his hand, trying to pull them off of you, you began to struggle to breathe.

“You kriffing whore..trying to kill me eh..? Will that’s too bad you bitch, you're stuck with me!” You desperately gasp for air, your body starts thrashing around. You started losing consciousness, the world around you began to fade to black when suddenly..

*BANG!*

The pressure around your throat was gone, you breathed in desperately before quickly punching Micheal in the face. Michael fell back on the ground, he held onto his nose as he groaned in pain.

You quickly got on your feet, taking more time to breathe feeling the blood rush to your head. You glanced over at the hill and saw one of tech’s squad members with a sniper had shot Micheal in the back.

You silently thank him, but quickly turn your attention back to Micheal. He was quick to recover from his sudden attack, quickly he took out another blaster from his holder and pointed at you.

Micheal was about to pull the trigger but you were faster than him, you quickly kicked his blaster out of his hand and delivered another punch to his face more harder than before.

Michael groaned in pain, he held onto his face. While Micheal was trying to recover, you slowly but surely picked up the blaster you kicked out of his hand and stood over him. You breathe in and out trying to control your adrenaline. Holding on to your side as the pain get worse.

When Michael regains his sense of reality, he looks up at you. He tries to get up, but you slowly point up the blaster at him.

Micheal looks up at the blaster pointed at him, his lips curling into a smirk. His face is bloodied and battered as he slowly scoot away from you.

“You know, I should have killed you the day we killed my pathetic father! But no, I didn’t because I felt pity for you being a pathetic slave!” Micheal said, venom in his voice. You don’t react to his words, but your face is twisted into a grimace of anger and pain as you just stare back at him and walk closer.

“ And here you are, being all tough and brave thinking you have the guts to kill me. Well you don’t, I still own you!” He said with a smug look on his face, despite his current situation as he keeps backing away.

“You're nothing but a pathetic whore, You hear me!? A PATHETIC WHORE-“

*BANG!*

….

Your ears ring as you stare at Micheal’s lifeless body fully laying down on the ground now. You slowly bring the blaster down, you look at it before throwing it at the ground.

You feel tears in your eyes, the pain on your stomach was unbearable now, you bring your hand that’s was holding your stomach up to your face and see fresh red blood on it. You looked down at your shirt, only to find it soaked with your blood.

Your adrenaline you once had was now fading away, so was your consciousness. Your body couldn’t hold up anymore, you fell to your knees. In the distance, you hear someone calling out to you slowly getting closer. You soon fall flat down on to the ground, you feel so tired.

“Hey! Stay with me! Just stay awake for me!” You hear a voice beside you. You try listening to the voice, but your eyes grow heavy to the opposite. You can’t open them any more.

“Don't close your eyes, just stay awake!…”

The voice was fading away and soon, everything stopped and went…..black.

…..

You hear a child crying, Crying out for their mother.

“Momma!”

You see a little girl with [ H/c ] and bits of white hair crying beside her mother's lifeless body.

“Please Momma, stay awake!”

The mother of the girl slowly brings up her hand to her daughter's face and cups it. The daughter holds tightly onto her mothers hand.

“Momma…please…stay with me a little longer…please…”

The mother's hand slowly goes limp in her daughter's hand. The girl slowly put down her mother’s lifeless hand on the ground.

“Momma…please don’t leave me…”

……

“Momma..….I’m scared…”

You shot up from your nightmare with eyes wide open, but quickly closed them from the bright light that was above you. You open your eyes, taking a click for them to adjust to the light. When your eyes fully adjusted you looked around, the room was white with a few cabinets and tables around it.

On the stroller table beside you had some medical supplies on it, you realized where you were.

This was a medbay.

Who’s? You didn’t know, you don’t want to know.

You sat up fully, but instantly regretted the sudden movement as you groaned in pain. You look down at your stomach and realize there’s bandages around it, you also realize you're not in your clothes you were wearing before. Now you were in some really big oversized blacks garments. That was clearly not yours.

“You're awake!”

You shot up from your sitting position at the sudden voice, you stood up in horror as you looked around the room to find where that voice came from. In the process you backed up to a side of the stroller table harshly, making some of the medical supplies drop to the floor. Your heart was pounding all over the places.

“Woah! Calm down, It’s okay…”

You finally found where that voice came from and to your surprise, it was the little girl with blonde hair. Your eyes widened at her but not before you quickly closed them as you groaned in pain again, this time much worse.

The girl quickly brought you down to the cot, you gripped your stomach as you scoot away from her.

“Shhh..it’s okay..take it easy.” The little girl said to you, trying to calm you down.

“Just take a deep breath, like this!” The little girl breath in and then out slowly, you stare at her before you close your eyes and follow her steps.

Breath in…breath out…

Your heart rate soon went down, you slowly opened your eyes and found the little girl already staring at you.

“Better?” You nod at her not trusting your voice, she just smiles brightly at you before continuing talking.

“Anyway, my name is Omeg-“

“Omega!”

A voice of a man snaps yours and Omega's attention away from each other, you both looked over at the door. A man with long brown hair and a red bandana was standing in front of the door, his face had a skull tattoo on it. Right behind him was another man, his skin was pale and had mechanic parts, as if he was part-droid.

“I thought we told you to tell us if she wakes up.” The man with the red bandana and skull tattoo said his voice was smoky. He fully walked in the medbay, the pale man behind him did the same.

“I was! She just woke up now.” Omega said, walking over to the two men. Both of them sigh tiredly, before pointing their attention to you. None of them said anything, they just stared at you. It made you feel weak under the gaze, the tension in the room got so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“So…got a name, outlaw?” The man with the red bandana said to you, his brown eyes were piercing at you like a knife. You sign in defeat, you know you can’t be the bigger person right now. You have to talk.

“[ Y/n ], My name is [ Y/n ]”

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whumpsday · 2 months

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3 whumpy anime to check out this spring!

Go Go Loser Ranger is a heroes vs. villains anime where the villains are the good guys and the heroes are downright evil. Having wiped out all the powerful monsters more than a decade ago, the heroes keep the weakest monsters captive, to parade around and torment on a weekly basis while the public believes otherwise. Because they're immortal when hit with most weapons, they'll always reform to be hurt over and over again, despite feeling all the pain.

Footsoldier D is one of those weak monsters, an immortal shapeshifter made of dust, called a "duster". After escaping the heroes' arena, he forms a plan to kill the heroes and steal the few weapons they have that can permanently kill dusters, freeing the rest of his kind. Given that he has the constitution of a porcelain doll, he can't use strength to fight: he has to rely on wits, stealth, shapeshifting (despite knowing very little about humans or the outside world), and a shaky alliance with a double-agent ranger who seems to be taking advantage of him for her own gain.

Whump tags: villain whumpee, hero whumper, immortal whumpee

Watch it on Hulu, Disney+, or any unofficial anime site.

And if you don't have time to check out a whole anime, the Go Go Loser Ranger opening theme video is also really good, with fantastic visuals symbolizing D's struggles!

An Archdemon's Dilemma is a romantic comedy stuffed to the brim with popular whump tropes. Zagan is a demonic sorcerer who attends an auction for the possessions of another recently-killed sorcerer, when he sees that one of those "possessions" is an elf slave, Nephelia. Having had a destitute, harsh past himself, he feels a rush of sympathy and buys her way out, vowing to ensure her safety. However, Nephelia is terrified, believing she's about to be used as a sacrifice in a dark magic ritual. And unfortunately for both of them, Zagan is a socially awkward loser who sucks at communicating.

It's surreal seeing something that looks like it could be a caretaker-new-master whump fic as an actual, fully-realized anime. It definitely doesn't take itself too seriously despite the premise, leaning heavily on the "comedy" part of romantic comedy, and is mostly just a silly time with lots of whump-adjacent stuff thrown in. Fanfic-y to the point of "there's only one bed" being an actual line.

Whump tags: fantasy slavery (very pet-whump-esque in its tropes), caretaker new master

Watch it on Crunchyroll or any unofficial anime site.

The Grimm Variations is an anthology of horror retellings of several Brothers Grimm fairy tales. With each episode being written and directed by different people, it varies wildly in quality, with episodes ranging from laughably bad to incredibly good, but I'm here to talk about episode 2: Little Red Riding Hood.

The Little Red Riding Hood takes place in a dystopian future where the upper and middle class use virtual reality technology to augment their reality. One man, Grey, is tired of this and craves the real: specifically, the feeling of real blood spraying him as he murders countless women, his wealth and connections protecting him from consequences. But when this serial killer makes the mistake of targeting a woman called Scarlet, he finds himself on the other side of the knife. This episode is a complete and utter gorefest with multiple onscreen torture scenes.

This isn't even my favorite episode of the series, it's like my 3rd favorite. But episode 2 is the one with the gruesome torture scene, so it's the one that goes in this post.

Little Red Riding Hood whump tags: whumper-turned-whumpee, torture, gore

Little Red Riding Hood warnings: sexual assault, eye gore, fingernail gore, violence against women, major character death

Watch it on Netflix or any unofficial anime site. Orrrr if you just wanna watch the big torture scene without any of the context, it's on Youtube.

that's all I have for now :)

(P.S: Dungeon Meshi, while not really whumpy as a whole, is also currently airing and very very good and I might write whump fanfic for it at some point in the near future. Netflix or any unofficial anime site.)

#fandom

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olderthannetfic · 2 months

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I think for me, one of the big stumbling blocks I had for a long time with understanding the problem with antis and how they act is that I came from the world of anime fandom, and I have seen all the time how the idea that you're expected to be tolerant and accepting to straight men who are really into lolicon or slavery isekai or whatever in the name of "sex positivity" does in fact lead into a lot of normalization of genuine creepy IRL behavior, and ignoring red flags for those. Because I've never met a man where doing a lot of apologetics for his interest in fictional 10-year-olds as a grown man or why you just need to understand that in this fictional culture sexual slavery is totally normal etc. didn't come along with some grosser attitudes about real women in girls - look at how a ton of the guys in the first group, for instance, are always trying to argue that "Japanese culture" is actually A-OK with relationships between young teens and grown adults and it's just your mean feminist American bias that's getting in your way. (None of that shit's true about Japan, btw.) Like if it were a purely fictional-preference thing, they wouldn't be saying that about real-world relationships as well.

But see, I have literally never seen those kinds of arguments from, say, women who write fanfiction about teen/adult relationships. To me the problem with a lot of anti behavior is not just that it's pro-censorship (which I oppose on principle, I don't think any of the stuff mentioned in the previous section should be censored, for instance, much as the prevalence of lolicon in anime squicks me out) and that it's puritanical and sex-negative, but also that it goes after the wrong people. There IS a huge creeper problem in fandom but it's largely not coming from the predominantly AFAB and queer world of fanfiction and shipping, most of whom are pretty good at separating fantasy from reality. Or their "fucked up" ship might not even be "their" fantasy but just thinking a particular character dynamic is really interesting and it happens to fit into some particular "problematic" broader dynamic. Sometimes it's specifically that it's fucked up that we like, that's what makes it interesting!

But I do get uncomfortable sometimes when people take the fact that censorship is wrong, harassing people for what they ship is wrong, what you like in fiction is not necessarily what you want in real relationships.... and take it to the extreme of "fiction has no impact on reality / there is never ANY connection between what gets you off in fiction vs. real life" (I do think it's rarely an exact 1:1, but for some people there is a connection), or feeling like you're never allowed to just privately judge people for what porn they're into or they talk about or post about when they go horny on main, or decide you don't particularly want to have, say, cis men who are super into loli as a part of your social circle.

Because I've seen cases where men use that, and other people being shamed for taking issue with how they talk about it because it's not "sex positive" or "you're just like an anti" etc., to raise the temperature on what kinds of creepy and red-flag behaviors are allowed. Or like, people start to get suspicious of things these guys are doing to real people, and question themselves because they worry they're just judging them for liking loli.

I mean, is it wrong to think that a guy who is really into underage girls AND talks a lot about how culture needs to "normalize" it AND makes people feel bad for being uncomfortable with that particular interest of his, is throwing up a lot of red flags for how he's likely to view real women and girls and IRL sexuality?

Once again, I've basically never seen cases where a fanfic writer (other than in some cis-man-heavy fandoms like MLP) who is into some "squicky" dynamic feels like they have to constantly talk about it even to people who are uncomfortable, or feels like they're not "accepted" in a space where they can't constantly bring it up. Maybe they exist. But then maybe it's fair to say that behavior is creepy in a way that just peacefully shipping [whatever "problematic" dynamic] and writing and reading fic for it is not.

But I've seen people be like "a lot of you act like 'well that behavior is only problematic when cis het white men do it' well no i think you're still sex-negative if you're against ANYBODY liking it" and like I'm sorry but power dynamics matter, and HOW you talk about this and to WHOM matters and I think it's just kind of ignorant to act like there isn't a huge difference between how a lot of cis men in anime fandom talk about this shit vs. other kinds of people in fanfic fandom, and that the former is very much informed by the fact that cis men and especially cis het men have cultural power that they are throwing around in the way they influence those spaces.

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teufelsabbiss · 4 months

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A lot of fanfics have scenes in which it's revealed much earlier and in vastly different circumstances that Shen Qingqiu was a slave. This usually then causes a big uproar, followed by support as well as better treatment and a positive change in attitude in his surroundings. Love those. But!

I really want more stories where this causes more extreme ripples in the pond!

As in things like Yue Qingyuan coincidentally getting exposed as former slave child as well and this is an even bigger shock for the other peak lords for various reasons. Everyone feels sympathy for them, but in the sect leader's case this obviously tugs on their heartstrings a bit more, since they always really liked him and maybe consider him their friend. Which means it's sad to hear he had to shoulder this alone without ever talking to anyone about it. Shen Qingqiu is a distrustful asshole who dislikes or outright hates all of them. It's no wonder he never told them. But Yue Qingyuan? Does he not trust them either? Did he think they are people who would ostracize him (and Shen Qingqiu) or worse, just because he has been dealt a bad hand of fate? Did they fail their shixiong(s) to such an extend?

What about the other martial siblings of their generation besides fellow peak lords? Are there others who struggled free from slavery and think they must never tell anyone? Do some peak lords already know one or more and never connected the dots when it came to these two?

And what about their disciples? Are there any among them who think they are utterly alone and in constant danger of discovery? Maybe even while desperately trying to get stronger to help those they left behind?

Imagine the rest of the peak lords trying to do better and pestering their entire peak out of heartfelt concern with varying degrees of subtlety or complete lack thereof (Liu Qingge, obviously) about their pasts. Imagine one disciple panicking in secret because they think their shizun is on to them and tries to get them exposed, kicked out and arrested/killed, to the point of suffering a qi-deviation. And then luckily get help in time and find that said shizun and the rest of the leadership was just worrying for their well-being and that there's no need to hide at all.

Shen Qingqiu having been a slave is usually depicted as a very big deal, but then is often confined to aaww, poor Shen-shixiong, we misjudged you and are so sorry! Well, that's great, but if that's the case, how does this impact their worldview and behavior further?

tl;dr: More widespread dramatic reactions to jaw-dropping reveals, please! In general. Thoughtful insights and comedic nonsense alike. There's never enough of this!

#svsss #shen qingqiu #yue qingyuan #cqms peak lords

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1eos · 6 months

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While I completely agree that Ao3 sucks it's a little funny to post like this on Tumblr. Who also has a zionist CEO. Who also allows antiblack/otherwise racist content and actively blazes it. Who suppresses the Palestine tag. Who banned NSFW content because they hosted so much CP the authorities got involved. I'd say the only difference between these two websites is the amount of people who vocally support the bad policies. I promise you someone could upload their slavery raceplay fanfic from Ao3 to Tumblr right now and not a thing would be done about it because it isn't against their TOS.

i can't believe you did this unironically and expect me to take you seriously

here's a question ik you can't answer. what website WOULDN'T it be funny to post? twitter? elon musk is an apartheid child encouraging hate speech. hell he was JUST in Israel. youtube? they've had years of taking down/suppressing videos that mention anything abt lgbt rights. youtube JUST took down a massive archive of israel human rights violations in palestine. racist white supremacist can have massive platforms on there and be PROTECTED if they're big enough. twitter alternatives? any of the ones that brag abt freedom of speech literally are overrun with racists/neo nazis. livejournal? half of us on tumblr were traumatized by fucked up fanfiction on there when we were 16. so, pray tell, what website would be good enough for you? hmmmmm it's almost like zionism is VERY pervasive and every platform is rife with fucked up shit 😳 which is why normal ppl tell you to STOP buying checkmarks and premium. ohhhhh but that's not good enough for you :( so tell me what website should we be posting complaints on? oh but even if there is a perfect website we're still in a fucked up society so i guess it would still be funny to you huh? like do you see how stupid you sound 😭😭😭😭

anyways now if i had 30 checkmarks you'd have a point but i don't so now we're all abt to make fun of you for being a fucking idiot. did you get the embarrassment? did you get the mockery? did you get the little rush of adrenaline when you hit send anon and when you refresh my blog every 20 minutes waiting for a response? is your heart pumping fast? do you feel special? do you feel smart?

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suffarustuffaru · 7 months

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Hi so i found this post about a reinsuba soulmate au? but I can't remember the name of it I don't remember the person who posted it I've search everywhere for but can't find it I only remember some of it I think it was a soulmates has the others scars there was also a were reinhard is desperately searching for his soulmate because they were fine just a awhile ago and suddenly they just started getting the scars and doesn't know it's Subaru because of return by death I think The scars are in gold on the other soulmate? I think I saw your name somewhere it's fine if you don't know but if you do know please let me know.

OH i absolutely know which post youre talking about!! it was an idea on the fanfic thread a few months ago, and i do sometimes go on rezero reddit so i contributed to some of the ideas in this thread here.

yeah so for everyone else who doesn't know - the fanfic/AU idea was basically that soulmate pairs get each others scars (physical OR psychological) in gold on their skin. think of it like kintsugi art, where you repair broken pottery by filling in the breaks with gold -

like this basically!! (meaning subaru might notice the similarities between the whole soulmate system and kintsugi itself yes)

yeah so to summarize all the ideas me and a few other people had in that thread, basically reinhard and subaru are soulmates (this can be platonic or romantic or however youd like to see it). reinhard takes on ALL of subarus physical and psychological scars so reinhard's basically Covered in them. meanwhile because reinhard doesnt physically scar, subaru only gets psychological ones - a collar mark around his neck to symbolize the collar of submission (a collar the kingdom puts on reinhard to suppress his powers; reinhard isnt allowed to leave the country without this collar on), and later in arc 5, subaru also gets a giant slash mark across his chest (to symbolize reinhard's death in arc 5). subaru's physical scars are self-explannatory - the psychological ones though include markings around the lips (for the rbd taboo :(( ) and a handprint on his chest right over his heart (because. satella/witch of envy).

meanwhile reinhard is guilt stricken because oh god my soulmate is SUFFERING and i cant even save them :(( i cant even find them!!! but at least i can take on all the burden of their scars for them ahahah i deserve this. and then reinhard looks over at subaru and goes hm. a collar mark. reminds me of the collar of submission :(((( but i cant possibly be subaru's soulmate!!! slavery is unfortunately commonplace in this world, subaru, perhaps you should go look in kararagi? :<<< so then reinhard ends up going on a wild goose chase for a soulmate that was LITERALLY right in front of him. subaru either doesnt notice the growing scars on reinhard until later (because they dont see each other very often) orrrr subaru is sweating buckets because he of course cant explain ALL of those scars so hes like haha im gonna keep quiet until i figure out how to break the news.

but then reinhard dies in front of subaru in arc 5 and then subaru watches as not only does reinhard come back to life, a new golden slash mark appears across subaru's torso that perfectly matches the wound reinhard just died from.....

yeah anyway!!! im quite fond of soulmate aus actually and this idea is particularly fun yes :o both in concept and aesthetically. ive always rotated a bunch of different rezero soulmate aus in my head and this idea is pretty cool i think!!

#re:zero #rezero #natsuki subaru #arc 5 spoilers #reinhard van astrea #i have like another reinhard soulmate au idea that ive been really thinking of?? might make a post on that one day #but yes i like this idea of like. kintsugi-esque scars. very interesting!!#ask #kintsugi if

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moontheoretist · 8 months

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The more I enjoy BG3 the more persistently my brain is like: What about writing a fanfic in which Anders and Fenris end up in Faerun with tadpoles in their brains and can communicate telepathically which finally lets them understand the other's point of view?

Hilarity points for Fenris seeing a world in which mages are free and not every single one of them is a bloodthirsty evil creature and being completely shocked by it. Also Gale and Anders becoming besties.

Even more hilarity points when Anders realizes Gods are real here. (Not that they're not real in DA universe, but in Faerun their touch and power in the world are far more visible and tangible than Elven Gods who didn't walk Thedas for several thousand years already).

I feel like Shadowheart and Fenris would become besties. I also see Lae'zel as a strong contender for Fenris' friendship. Possibly Astarion if Fenris realizes that his flirting is all just a mask very quickly. If not, then I feel like Anders would be the quickest to notice as he used to hide behind a similar mask in Awakening, so it should be easy to see.

*looks at Karlach* I feel like she would adopt Anders and Fenris.

*looks at Wyll* Hmmm... I wonder if Anders would relate to Wyll after it's revealed that he is contracted to Mizora, because listen: as a Grey Warden Anders drank Darkspawn blood, so technically he took the bad thing about Darspawn and turned it into a good thing. Wardens can be heroic, but most of them are misfits that got a second chance so joining with Justice would probably be more of a point of relation here than being a Grey Warden, even though as a Grey Warden our dear Darktown Healer has a lot of good deeds to his name. Anyway, I feel like Anders could find some relatable elements in Wyll's life.

Meanwhile, Fenris could probably find some relatable elements in what happened to Karlach. Fenris' slave status, as the warrior and "prized possession" of his Master is very similar to being sold to Zariel and forced into becoming a soldier in a Blood War. They both also used to be bodyguards to people who are evil pieces of shit. And of course he could relate to Astarion when it comes to slavery and his general bloodthirstiness in the form of killing his enemies on sight.

Dunno about Halsin, Jaheira and Minsc. I feel like Anders may have gone insane from seeing a man talking to a hamster, tho.

#i'm suffering #baldur's gate 3 #dragon age 2 #bg3 & da2 crossover fanfiction #anders #fenris #gale fo waterdeep #shadowheart #astarion #karlach #wyll ravengard

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shewhowas39 · 10 days

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some fun lore for your drow OCs

y'all some to like it when i write up little chunks of Forgotten Realms lore as it relates to BG3. so, since i know a lot of you play drow and half drow, here's some of my favorite drow lore:

you probably know about Lolth, the evil demon goddess of the Dark Seldarine pantheon to whom most drow are sworn, but do you know her daughter, Eilistraee?

if not, you should. because she's dope.

Eilistraee is Lolth's daughter and is a chaotic good goddess. she's the goddess of several things in the Dark Seldarine pantheon: good drow, moonlight, hunting, song, dance, beauty, and swordwork. one of the most abiding images of her is a beautiful drow woman with silver hair dancing naked in the moonlight with a sword. (hot)

her followers take on a variety of rules to serve her. some devote their lives to going into the underdark and saving/redeeming other drow or fighting slavery. some dedicate their lives to promoting the arts - especially song and dance. (take note you drow and half drow bards)

one of her followers most well known rituals is the High Hunt, in which her followers go out into the woods - typically fully nude - and are tasked to bring down a beast with only their sword.

okay so maybe you've noticed, there's a fair bit of nudity in the church of Eilistraee. this goddess loves to be naked and her followers love to join her. an Eilistraeen wedding involves the priestess and the couple getting married to disrobe as part of the ceremony.

anyway, Eilistree is like my favorite Forgotten Realms goddess. she and her followers are badasses, whether they are hunters, bards, swordfighters, or spies who infiltrate the underdark to rescue people from the Lolthsworn. also she's a hot naked dancing goddess with serious "fuckyou, mom!!" shit going on.

there's so much more. and her and her church's forgotten realms wiki pages are GREAT and full of so much good detail you could easiily work into fanfic or whatever.

IS this post me selfishly hoping to see more love for Eilistree in bg3 fic? yes. yes it is.

#eilistraee #forgotten realms lore #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 lore #baldur's gate 3 lore #drow #drow lore

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savoytrufflephd · 6 months

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Let’s explore canon parallels…

Thanks for the love on the earlier post! Clearly, like me, you can’t get enough of analyzing HIUH. Allow me to test that theory…

HIUH is both an easy and a hard read. On the one hand, the writing style makes is go down smooth. On the other hand, the plight of the characters burns (in all the best ways). And sometimes you just want to shake some sense into them!

I am obsessed with HIUH to a borderline unhealthy degree. I love the style and subtly of the writing (but that’s a whole topic for a different post). I love how frustrating and heartbreaking and hilarious (I’m looking at you, Ancel) it can be. I’m obsessed with how much it makes me feel.

Typically, when a chapter is posted, I read it once, then go back and read the previous chapter and the new chapter again, then reread my favorite little sections again and again. Sometimes, I start at the beginning of the story and read all the way through. It’s never not worth my time.

So, anyway, perhaps this obsession explains how very defensive I feel when I read people commenting on how unlikeable Laurent (or Damen) is, or how they can’t imagine feeling good about them getting back together. I mean, it’s fair for them to feel however they feel as readers, but also…

Of course they have to get back together, because they are MEANT TO BE!

Which brings me to the question of canon parallels.

Because we, as a fandom, know that they are MEANT TO BE because of Pacat’s trilogy, and more specifically, because they had SO MUCH to overcome. Only a couple that is MEANT TO BE still comes to be despite the fact that one killed the other’s brother and the other took the one as a slave had him nearly whipped to death. I mean, that’s a lot to get past.

And herein lies the genius of HIUH. Because Pacat was able to set up this drama by setting her story in a pseudo-historical world of kingdoms and old-fashioned, army-clashing warfare. It was neither farfetched nor unreasonable that Damen killed Auguste. And it was believable (to everyone but Damen) that Damen’s brother tried to have him killed in a coup. And it was fair enough that Laurent swore vengeance, which, combined with the trauma he had experienced, ultimately allows us to forgive his cruelty. Also, Damen may not have whipped slaves, but he owned them, so he ultimately lacks moral purity (despite a common desire to grant it to him in fanfic, which I totally understand, because he has honor! It’s hot!). And they all live in a world before therapy, so they’re just gonna have to kind of suck up their trauma and go on ruling.

But how do you plausibly transfer this meant-to-be-despite-all-odds to a modern-day setting?

You can make them both modern royalty (which is always fun), but you can’t make Damen own people or have Laurent be casually sadistic and still have us root for them. Laurent’s trauma can be the same (unfortunately, because shitty adults still get away with abuse), but he can’t take it out on Damen in the same way. And Damen can’t be a catalyst for the trauma to the same degree either, because it’s hard in modern setting to imagine him having justifiably killed August and then Laurent being able to move on.

So how can two people hurt each other so much and still come together in modern times? By being exes, it turns out! Who knew?

@thickenmyblood knew!

And from that amazing canon adaptation of the overall conceit, @thickenmyblood goes on to create so many other canon parallels. I’ll number them (in order to assure you this post isn’t actually endless), but I’m sure it’s not an exhaustive list:

1. Damen’s quest begins when his privileged world, which he has never examined very closely, gets turned upside down. His unquestioned acceptance of slavery becomes an unquestioned acceptance of toxic masculinity, which also parallels with Damen’s unquestioned pursuit of war glory (the Original Toxic Masculinity™). His complete inability to recognize what every single reader can see – that Laurent was abused by his uncle – becomes an unwillingness to hear about Laurent’s traumatic experiences or accept their mental health consequences. His quest to regain his throne becomes a quest to regain his sense of self, which leads him to therapy, which leads to a realignment of his priorities that ultimately puts a connection to Laurent high on his list (as in the books).

2. Which makes sense, I think, of why Damen still cares so much for Laurent in HIUH despite his recognition of Laurent’s behavior. As in the books, he, like a few of the people closest to Laurent, sees beneath the judgmental exterior to Laurent’s resilience, deep care for people like Nicaise, and well-hidden playfulness. Lest we forget, the running over the rooftops was a key moment for Lamen – the banter and wordplay they can still find in HIUH post-breakup gestures to that playful connection/reconnection.

3. Meanwhile, Laurent remains a survivor in both worlds, and alternates between dedicating almost everything he has to simply persisting despite his uncle and trying to carve about a more purposeful and livable existence, which he at the same time does not fully believe he deserves. He is willing to protect and fight for Nicaise in ways he isn’t always able to fight for himself.

4. Nicaise, as in canon, sometimes desperately appreciates that, sometimes need to push, push, push until Laurent gives up on him the way he can’t stop fearing Laurent will.

5. Meanwhile, just as in canon, the only means Laurent has found to protect himself is by keeping his deepest self hidden and feigning indifference and superiority when he feels vulnerable or hurt. Did Laurent break up with Damen to protect Nicaise? Yes, absolutely. But, as I argued in the previous post, Laurent also breaks up with Damen because he believes deep down that, in the long term, Damen could not love the real Laurent because the real Laurent is fundamentally unlovable.

6. And he clearly told himself Damen would be better off without him, and without Nicaise, too. Like in canon, he’s willing to sacrifice his own chance at happiness to let Damen have his. He probably figured he was letting Damen go back to his charmed and trauma-free life. Which was less charmed and trauma-free than Damen thought it was, as it turns out (thank you, Neo). Which just takes us right back to Damen’s canon obliviousness and rose-tinted glasses.

7. Consider also that Laurent comes to give Damen his first and second chances because he is so desperate for Damen’s help that he has to push aside his anger, pride, and fear and let Damen in just a little (calling him for that first date, showing up at his house looking for Nicaise + asking him to take Nicaise after the paperweight). This mirrors his decision to take Damen with him to the border. But, just as in canon, whenever he lets Damen in just a little, Damen surprises him and worms his way back into Laurent’s closely-guarded heart.

8. Similarly for Damen in canon and here, Laurent is easy to hate when he’s being icy, superior, and hurtful, but impossible for Damen to hate when he pays close enough attention to see Laurent’s vulnerability. A lot of this comes through in HIUH in Damen’s careful notice of Laurent’s body language. When not clouded by his own insecurities, Damen can still read Laurent like a book.

9. Also worth noting is the way @thickenmyblood translates the differences in how Damen and Laurent think. As in canon, Damen is very literal and practical, thinking in straight lines. He is well suited to the law. Laurent’s thinking is more complicated, theoretical, and more attuned reasoning born of trauma. He is well suited to academia. But since there is no court intrigue in this modern setting, these differences are displayed not only in their communication differences, but through the contemporary complexities of sexual orientation and gender expression. Laurent (and his friend group) navigate these things effortlessly, while Damen (and his friend group) find it needlessly confusing and easy to mock. But like in canon Damen really should have understood court betrayals for his own sake, so too should this Damen understand how his thinking and friend group have prevented him from being fair to those he loves and fair to himself.

10. And if we want to get really metaphorical, we can say that Kastor "kills" their father in this by forcing Damen to realize he wasn't as good a father as Damen cast him in his memory. Although in this case, the metaphorical killing of the father opens the possibility for a more genuine relationship between the brothers, instead of destroying it...

And let’s stop it there, yeah? (Off to read the user manual for my new dishwasher.)

#captive prince #captive prince fanfic #hiuh #damen x laurent #thickenmyblood #hand in unlovable hand #neither my wife nor child reads this fic and i suck at fandom these days but i need to talk about this masterwork #the sad thing is that i'm really excited about the dishwasher manual

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