drivers license - deena johnson
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a/n: this is a fic that’s going to have a specified gender because deena is in fact a lesbian. i’m sorry for this you guys because you guys seem to really enjoy traitor, thank you so much for over 300 notes btw but this is really bad. i love you guys.
summary: you and deena were hopelessly in love.. until sam came in the picture.
warnings: angst, bad writing, mentions of sexuality discomfort, heartbreak
pairings: fem!reader x deena , present!sam x deena, past!reader x deena
i got my drivers license last week,
just like we always talked about.
cause you were so excited for me,
to finally drive up to your house.
Y/n Y/l/n always has been an anxious, nervous mess. Deena Johnson was confident and brave; Deena was her security blanket and that’s why the two worked. It’s also why getting into Y/n’s car everyday almost had her having a panic attack, Deena helped her get over her constant fear of driving and helped her learned how to do it. Something so little meant something so big to Y/n, especially now that Deena was gone.
And with someone new.
but today I drove through the suburbs,
crying cause you weren’t around.
and you’re probably with that blonde girl,
who always made me doubt.
Being that Y/n was the closest house to the line that separated Shadytown and Sunnyvale she had to peek into Sunnyvale everyday. The only problem with that was that she would also end up seeing Deena’s car sitting outside of one house everyday. Deena’s car was filled with loving memories of the two girls and it brought tears to her ears when she thought of her making new ones with that blonde chick, Sam.
Y/n always sensed something between Sam and Deena, but always shut it down brushing it off as insecurity. But when Deena up and left her for Sam she could only ever have a bitter sensation in her mouth.
Maybe that’s why when Sam moved and Deena was heartbroken, she felt nothing but joy. Deena finally knew what it felt like to lose the one you love.
she’s so much older than me,
she’s everything i’m insecure about.
yeah, today i drive through the suburbs,
cause how could i ever love someone else.
sam was perfect, there was no denying that. she was pretty and she had it all even before she moved to sunnyvale. watching the love of her life slowly start looking more in love with sam than she was with her hurt y/n with a feeling that she would never be able to forget.
so whenever y/n drives to her house and sees deena’s car in front of sam’s house she cries. she thinks to herself, ‘how could she move on so fast if she loved me so much?’ deep down no matter how much pretending y/n did;
she knew she would never ever love someone the way she loved deena johnson.
and i know we weren’t perfect,
but i’ve never felt this for no one.
and i just can’t imagine how you could be so okay,
now that i’m gone.
It was obvious that Y/n and Deena had their hardships, every relationship did. The biggest one had to be over the fact that their relationship consisted of two girls, it never really bothered either of them; they knew they weren’t perfect cause they weren’t straight but it didn’t matter because they loved each other.
Thinking about the tears that the two had shared for each other, with each other over their sexualities was devastating for Y/n. Each girl had made each other feel comfortable being who they truly were.
She knows it’s wrong to think it, but how could Deena possibly be ok without her when she helped make her love who she was.
guess you didn’t mean what you
wrote in that song about me.
cause you said forever,
now i drive alone past your street.
“It’s you and me forever, Y/n.” Was something Deena would always say when Y/n had one of her anxious moments. Those word always brought comfort to her. But now as Y/n is parked in Deena and Y/n’s spot that was a huge rock covered in red moss, she read the note Deena had left her. The note had words that mended her heart and broke it at the same time. Deena couldn’t have possibly meant a single word in the breakup letter.
Especially with the last sentence being, “It was you and me forever, Y/n.”
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