#feels kinda crazy posting this after working on it for four months lmao

[satoru-is-the-way]

FANFICTION

SPOILERS FOR DOCTOR STRANGE AND THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS!!!!

…

 …

…

…

SINCE NO ONE ELSE HAS...

¡John Krasinski!

Reed Richards x Reader 

The One Exception

part 1

(Mentions of Stephen Strange x Reader)

𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺: REED RICHARDS LIKE THIS MAN HOT, Arguing, Violence, Blood, Death, and the reader being overpowered (lol) SMUT IN PART 2 EHEHHEHEEH. SO YA SAFE FOR PART 1 Me being lazy and not going to spell check rn. I will soon LMAO

𝑨/𝒏: Hello everyone! I am so sorry my Moon Knight people. I have been so busy with my Doctor Strange needs I simply had no motivation until late. After MOM though I will be doing many doctor strange fics and mainly focus on him, plus the characters in the movie. EVENTS WILL BE CHANGED/Out of order for plot sake.

𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: You are one of the original members of the Illuminati. For many years Reed Richards had been in love with you despite Stephen Strange owning your heart. Years after Stephen's death you finally have been moving on. However, this new 616 variant catches your attention and Reed does not like that.

(Gif by me 💅)

Most the gifts have my @ marvelsimp tiktok logo except like a few I did post a mini gift set.

(Y/n) (L/n) walked into Reed's lab, being somewhat of a scientist herself, but preferably his assistant during free time. However, not much freedom for extra activities is given to members of the Illuminati. (Y/n) felt like that was a long and complicated story. Which it really wasn't. It started many years ago when her previous lover, Doctor Stephen Strange, had developed an idea of heroes uniting so that when the earth, or universe, needed them they would be there. It consisted of herself, the Phoenix, Charles Xavior, Captain Peggy Carter, Mordo Sorcerer Supreme, Captain Marvel, and Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four. She had fought battles alongside each member but never as a collective group. They functioned accordingly and fairly. Earth has been saved countless times against powerful enemies, such as Thanos...A topic (Y/n) avoids.

For the last couple of months, the unofficial couple, Reed and (Y/n), have become close. More time was spent together on short missions and in his lab. They each came out of long-term relationships. Reed and Sue were the ideal couples. Always by each other's side. Worked in sync like Stephen and (Y/n) once had.  Yet inside Reed never could fully commit having romantic feelings for (Y/n). After Stephen's death, she became secluded from everyone except Reed. 

"Mr.Fantastic, odd seeing you here " She called. "How is my favorite scientist?" 

Reed looked up from his microscope green eyes flickering with excitement seeing (Y/n). He stood up 6'3" frame towering over everyone. "I am doing quite well! Here to assist me once more? With all this time you spend with me people may talk." Reed comments walking over to his desk and sitting the sample disks down. He never was afraid to say what is on his mind. The smartest man in this universe had confidence in himself and his mind. 

(Y/n) chuckled taking a white lab coat off the hanger. "Let them I have nothing to hide. Unless you are ashamed. Plus with your crazy ex-" 

"Oh come on. Sue is not crazy may be a regrettable choice to date a teammate. But not crazy. Coworkers should not date- in a way." Reed sighed knowing they both had romantic entanglements with fellow heroes and colleagues. Neither ended well for both parties. 

"Tell me about it. The last boyfriend I had kinda was murdered." 

"It wasn't murder he knew the consequences." 

"He was trying to save the universe Doctor Richards!" (Y/n) argued back. 

"So it's Doctor Richards now?! We voted on this. The tally was in and we had to do what is necessary." 

"What? To play God? To act like we are better than everyone else! You betrayed your friend. We all did! Like your friendship meant nothing." 

"I was the ONLY one who sides with you (Y/n). Shouldn't that mean something? Why don't you go yell at the others about your dead fiancee's problems." Reed sighed his good day ruined. 

"Whatever. You are always the same Reed. You care only about yourself." She threw her lab coat down and walked off. 

Reed slowly sat down on his chair. Looking at the papers in front of him. He felt pressure on his chest. Did he just ruin his chances with (Y/n)? "Fuck." Reed said shoving everyone off his desk in anger 

°(later that day) °

They had been called together by Mordo in an urgent message about a variant from earth 616 landing on their world. With time to spare before their meeting (Y/n) walked into Christine Palmer's lab to see who the visitor from 616 is. She froze to looking at Stephen Strange- except this one had a goatee. His ocean blue orbs meet her (e/c) spheres. 

"...(Y/n)?" He whispered walking to the glass. The last time this 616 Stephen saw his (Y/n) she had been knocked through a portal with him.

"Not...your (Y/n)...You are from 616...Are we- a couple on your earth?" She asked gently. So many properties occurred after her Stephen died. To see if in other realities if they were together or who dies first before things could take flight. However, the question seemed idiotic seeing the shining ring on his finger. 

"2 years now. Married for 1. Here?" He asked looking this (Y/n) over. She backed up and quickly escaped tears streaming down her face. Maybe she needed to sit this one out. 7 long years after her Stephen was taken. It took nearly 5 to look at other men. Reed had been that one exception. Perhaps that is what bothered her. To be in love with Reed Richards. Because 7 years is short right? She felt conflicted about exactly her intentions with pursuing Reed is. 

Not long passed as this Stephen stood in front of the Illuminati. Facing judgment, once again, the punishment would be death. The moment replayed in their heads as Charles showed what happened to their Doctor Strange. 

"There had to be another way- we can't - please...please dont do this." (Y/N) begged them. Stephen sat on his knees fingertips black from using the dark hold's magic. It was a selfish want not caring about the other universes he destroyed. All she wanted is him. 

"This is hard on everyone (Y/n)," Reed comments touching her shoulder but she shoved him back. 

"We can leave if you want. I and Captain Marvel can-" 

"Shut up Peggy!" 

"Please, my love calm down," Stephen whispered (Y/n) slowly walked toward him. "I know what must be done. It's how we keep order...I love you (Y/n) Strange. You are my one and only. I love you...I love you in every universe." He cupped her cheeks giving her a gentle kiss goodbye. "I'll always be by your side. In your heart. You own my love...I wish this didn't have to be so hard. I did it for you. Damn everyone else. In this world and in every universe you are the only person that matters to me."

"Stephen, I won't be able to love again. We can leave and find another universe." She whispered looking into his blue diamond eyes. "We can run-" 

"I have decided. I chose this fate because it's the only one where you live." He admits. "I will love you forever...I'm sorry my gem." With a passionate kiss that was when the memory ended for you. Stephen had sent you through a portal landing in the sanctum, alone, and without him. 

(Y/n) took a shaken breath looking at 616 Stephen. He felt pity on you. "They killed you. I won't be here to watch it again." She stood looking at him one last time before walking off. Before she even could make it out the door the alarms went off, every Ultron bot scurrying into. Instantly fire covers her body burning her clothes away and leaving the signature green and gold costume colors with the Phoenix emblem in black across her chest (basically Jean Grays' costume from the comics lol). Emily ran into the lab. Christine looked at her panicked. "Wanda is here to take Chavez. They went to stop her." She adds pointing to the direction where Captain Marvel had blasted Wanda to. (Y/n) nods and flew off landing just in time to stop Wanda. She had began to lift Reed into the air. "WANDA!" (Y/n) yelled and with a ball if energy hit the Scarlet Witch back into several walls. 

"Reed are you ok?" She asked pulling him close. He nods cupping her face after being moments away from death. 

"Bolt, Peggy, Charles...she killed them." He whispers. 

(Y/n) felt a pain shoot in her body, no...all her friends. The people she cared for. The Professor was like a father to her. Her eyes began to glow losing control of her powers. "This isn't our Wanda. 616 is dream walking remember that." He said. 

"I don't care. She killed my friends and almost you. Plus she is after the girl and 616 Stephen." 

The fight between a Phenoix and Choatic witch could not he decided who might win. Two forced equally balanced in strength. But mentally Wanda could overpower (Y/n)

"You know I could find a universe where you died." She comments getting up spitting blood out if her mouth. "I could even make you...a little hex of you own. A never ending life with Stephen and kids even." Wanda adds her devils temptation. "Or maybe add Reed...You would like that right?" She asked one step at a time walking closer. "To be with you lover again. Spend the life every variation of yourself has...but you. The unlucky one." (Y/n) was in a trance getting offered an apple from the devil herself. One simple bite and it call could be hers. 

A voice yelled her, called to her, Reed...Suddenly back to reality she narrowed her eyes. "I think I'm good." (Y/n) blasts Wanda away one more not knowing where. She falls to the ground Reed quickly by her side. Having someone in your head is never pleasant. (Y/n) groaned having a pounding headache. "Did...We win?" 

Reed sighed, "No. I have no idea...what is going to happen next. Wanda...is powerful. Dangerous. The alarms had stopped perhaps they left." (Y/n) rests her head against Reed's chest. He picks her up taking her to the medical bay. She remembers looking up studying his features. Fluffy brown hair with hints if white on the side, perfectly trimmed beard, plump lips and gorgeous green eyes…

Three days she had been in bed. Resting unable to do much of anything but sleep. A loopy and incoherent time blurry dreams and reality mixed into one. The chaos wielding witch sure did a number in the Phoenix who held back her own strength. 

"Morning." Reed said looking her over. Each day Reed came by or simply slept in the very uncomfortable chair. "Feeling better?" He asked checking your monitors. 

"Yeah I feel...more aware of my surroundings." (Y/n) sat up looking to Reed. He smiled unable to remove his eyes from the angel in front of him. 

"I love you." He blurts out catching (Y/n) off guard. "I mean. I have been in love with you  since the battle in New York." He confessed sighing deeply. "I knew Stephen had your heart. For 6 long years I watched you and him. Hell I even got with Sue in hopes to forget about you. No matter what I did I only thought about you! I sides with you because even if I couldn't have you I wanted you to be happy. To know in every universe you two end up together...It was my burden no matter what to always lose you." 

(Y/n) looked at him before pulling the man into a kiss. She whispered feeling his soft lips around hers. A gentle but passionate need stirred in her stomach. Her gentle hands tangle in his mess if brown locks. "I want you…" She whispers 

To Be continue. 

#Reed Richards x Reader #Reed Richards #John krasinski #John Krasinski Reed Richards #Mister Fantastic

[willwriteforhugs]

how stray kids asks you out <3

skz scenario - all members (individually) x reader

genre: fluff, dating au, angst if you close your left eye

word count: 1.6k (total)

warnings: some cursing, but nothing else :)

a/n: hello, lovelies!! this is my very first (posted) stray kids fic- i hope you all enjoy. it’s nothing major, but i really had fun writing it. if you’ve found me on the explore page, hello! i’m a hot mess. pls validate me by reading what i write.

just kidding.

maybe.

ANYWAYS- please keep in mind that this is written in a totally lighthearted way, and this is 100% fictitious. this is for entertainment purposes only. thank you for reading!

chan: 

he is actually so shy about it :’(

but he knows he’s gonna go through with it

cause that’s the kind of person he is

he just wants his emotions to be out in the open

whether the feeling is mutual or not

so he just improvises 

he approaches you with completely no context? like he just walks up and starts a convo but you can’t tell why

you think he’s just. being chan

but no

he’s pretty chill, actually

his face is so tho red but he doesn’t know that so don’t say anything

a few minutes in he kinda just snaps because he just couldn’t wait

“y/n-ah, do you wanna- i don’t know, get together sometime? are you free?”

this takes you off guard completely

he misunderstands your reaction *screams*

and he immediately regrets saying anything

but you scramble to reassure him 

when you say you’d like to get together, he loses all humility

becomes a total flirt

this flusters you but the two of you have such CHEMISTRY 

“so it’s a date?”

“it’s a date.”

minho:

is the type to completely deny his own feelings until the very last minute

plus, tbh

he probably thinks you hate him

so he has a hard time convincing himself to finally ask you out

but when he does...

he just bites the bullet (lmao pray for him)

walks RIGHT THE FUCK UP TO YOU

“y/n.”

when you respond he just kinda:

“will you go out with me?”

you also probably thinks he hates you too (go communication!!)

so you’re just like *surprised pikachu face*

but he just stands there and waits for your response

he’s sweating on the DL

but you kinda just go with it and say yes

he’s hella surprised but doesn’t wanna show his excitement

so he just smirks and is like

“okay. what would you like to do, and when?”

(just because he’s a cocky lil shit doesn’t mean he’s not a gentleman)

but he’s also secretly planning the whole first date in his head

will i hold y/n’s hand? what will they wanna do? should i-

- minho’s brain

(aw)

changbin:

is on the bolder side

(be careful with this one)

(he’s feisty)

he probably let his feelings fester for a long time

so this is overdue

but he spends the whole day shamelessly flirting with you

he finally just asks if you want to grab some food

you don’t even really realize it’s a date until he insists on paying for everything

this makes you all clumsy and embarrassed

but he thinks it’s the cutest shit ever

well now he’s clumsy and embarrassed (sobs)

TECHNICALLY he doesn’t officially ask you out until after this

he pretty much just straight up confesses

the audacity i can’t

“y/n-ah... i really like you- will you let me take you out? on a real date?”

* gesturing to the take out *

he isn’t embarrassed at all

you CANNOT stop looking at his eyes

they’re so genuine and loving that you almost forget to answer

once he gets confirmation he promises to both plan and pay for the whole thing, even as you protest

how are you already in love with this man 

hyunjin:

poor hyunjinnie probably spent the last four months trying to decide how to ask you out

he’s been head over heels for you for a while now

and he knows he needs to make his move

(cause, let’s be honest- you’re a catch, and he’s protective. could i make it any more obvious?)

he ends up thinking that just being straightforward is the way to do it

so he spends the whole day just trying to get you alone

this is harder than he anticipated

so finally he just grabs you while you’re in conversation

and goes

“y/n, i’m sorry-it’s important, can i just talk to you a sec?”

you go with him, if not out of pure curiosity 

literally the SECOND you’re alone he just swivels around says

“did you know that you are really hard to catch alone?”

and you’re kinda just like: 

huh

but he continues

“anyways, i just had a question for you?”

“oh, okay. what is it?”

this is when the nerves hit him 

“oh, uh- i guess i was just wondering- if you would go out with me sometime? nothing big, i just-”

you interrupt him without thinking

“yes.”

* cue one completely flustered and w h i p p e d hyunjin *

jisung:

is not shy at ALL

but he wants to make sure you’re comfortable

so he doesn’t make a big deal out of it

he spent a lot of time debating how to do it

but he decides to write a note (so cute)

he waits until you leave the room for a sec

he slips a note into your bag that just says

“date? -jisungie”

with a lil heart next to it

then he panics and just books it

when you find it a bit later you’re initially confused

but then it kinda hits you

you FREAK out and track him down-

only to realize you have no idea what you want to say to him

but he knows you too well

and he just laughs when he sees your face

this makes you laugh too, even though you’re nervous

when the two of you finally recover he’s just

“but really- please? let me take you out.”

you know your face is on fire

so you just nod

but that’s all the confirmation he needs

felix:

king of overthinking 

we all know felix has EVERYTHING planned in his head

like, to a T

he’s been very stressed about asking you out, but he also doesn’t want to miss his chance

so he just thinks and thinks and thinks

he just wants it to be perfect for you

he decides to just hang out in the comfort of your home to do it

the two of you are just chilling (y’know. FRIEND THINGS.)

but he is completely in his own head

and you can tell

you get to be a little worried for him, so you just ask:

“hey- are you alright? you seem a little off tonight.”

he turns super pink and tries to play it off

but since you’re a stubborn piece of work, you pry a lil

and he cracks under pressure (I FEEL BAD OMG)

he finally just looks up and snaps:

“y/n- i’m really sorry. i wanted to to this well, and make it cute and romantic and have you fall in love with me in an instant. but you- god, you’re so nerve-wracking!”

you just sit there

completely flabbergasted

he bursts into awkward laughter, and between coughs he’s just like

“y/n, i was gonna ask you out. i’ve loved you for a while now.”

he continues: “but i guess i fucked up, didn’t i...”

you jump and interrupt him

and insist that he was being crazy- what was he doing letting his mind run free with that?

finally, to shut him up, you just lean over and place your lips over his.

seungmin:

is surprisingly confident

but also low-key has no idea what he’s doing

he decides to send you a text

he asks if you want to grab coffee, which you absolutely do

he doesn’t realize until later...

that he didn’t actually specify it was supposed to be a date.

oops.

but he kinda just goes with it, and the two of you maintain good conversation

finally he interrupts you mid-sentence and is like

“y/n, will you answer a question for me?”

you nod, and he continues:

“what is- uh- this- exactly? to you?”

* nodding down at your long empty coffee cups *

you don’t really understand the question (valid)

he kinda just sighs and starts laughing

“well. it was supposed to be a date. i’m just really bad at this.”

you just. cannot believe your ears

he just laughs harder and says

“so. can we try again?”

you start laughing too

and you know that even if it wasn’t the best first date,

you’d felt right at home. 

jeongin:

poor baby is SO NERVOUS 

he’s spent like,,,,

the last 6 days trying to plan how to finally do this 

but he decides to approach you and let it try to come up naturally

you two carry a conversation for a few minutes and then he asks

“so...do you- you know- like anyone?”

your face turns bright red

you can’t stop thinking

does he know oh my god am i that obvious i-

but you end up just looking away and being like

“i mean- i guess?”

he can’t decide how to respond

because on one hand- that person could be him

but on the other hand, it’s more likely that it’s not, and then it would be awkward as hell for him to ask you out

he kinda panics

then against his own will he just goes for it

“y/n-ah. i don’t really know how to say this- but will you let me take you out? i really like you...”

his ears are RED OH BOY

his voice kinda just trails off and you can tell he feels insecure

but when you tell him yes...

he was literally born for this

he gets so excited and doesn’t hide it at all

thank you so much for reading!! p.s. my asks are now open, feel free to send in your requests !

#stray kids imagines #stray kids #skz #skz au #skz imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #kpop au #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #bang chan #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #ateez #ateez scenarios #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids fic #willwriteforhugsfics

[kerie-prince]

We're Worlds Apart (3)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj!reader

series m.list | general m.list | previous chp

warnings: cursing, angst(?), Draco being a meanie :(

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

a/n: not my best lmao kinda gets cheesy. anyways, Y/M/N = your mother’s name and Y/B/N = your brother’s name

(gif cred)

“Do I really have to get one?” Draco whined in the middle of the phone store, getting his very first cellular device.

“Yeah, man. It's 2008 and you still write letters. Plus, your bird took a shit on my car,” Blaine said matter-of-factly. He found it funny that Draco still used an owl post for communication; the only other person Blaine knew that still uses an owl is his 97 year old grandmother. And even she has a landline in her house. “It's just easier and quicker to use. Why wait a whole day for a letter when you can just text me and I’ll respond in two seconds?”

“I’ve never even used a wall phone, how do you expect me to use a bloody cell-phone, Blaine?” Draco was fidgeting in his seat as he waited for the store employee to finish, what was it called, a credit score? Muggles sure are weird.

She came back shortly with a small, black box that had a weird word on it. What the bloody hell is an iPhone? She explained how it turned on, all the applications it carried, and details about billing and more. Draco was still confused about the whole thing but Blaine said that he would help him understand it better.

“Well look at you, Dray. A modern wizard in America,” Blaine jokes. Draco played with the new device, working out all the kinks of it. He sent his very first text message to Blaine at that moment. Took him precisely 5 minutes to type out a very bland, simple ‘Hello. -Draco L. Malfoy’

It made Blaine laugh so hard that he held his stomach. “My god, we’re gonna have to work on your texting skills, man. First things first, you don't have to sign your name at the end of a text. I know it's you.” Blaine explained to Draco all the fundamentals of texting as they walked through the halls of Santa Marie.

Throughout the day, Draco shared his new number with his department. The more he shared his number, the faster he became at typing.

At the end of his shift, he went to a nearby restaurant where he usually picked up dinner —not one to know his way around the kitchen — and headed home.

It's been a good week for him; his mother had sent him a letter everyday, he finished setting up the guest room for Theo and Blaise, he has this new phone, and best of all, Y/N had not crossed his mind once.

Now he still hasn't accepted what she does in her free time, but also he realized that she’s not exactly harming him nor did she know what he was. He's usually busy with all the work he does, anyway. It was quite a sudden change of heart. But mostly, it was his mother that was able to talk to him and change his views.

My dearest son, had it been during the time before the war, I would have agreed with you. But you have to understand that things are different now. You're different now. Now I am not forcing you, but maybe you should just talk with her just once. If not, just ignore her. After all, she only lives next door.

When he read the letter, he could practically hear all of his friends telling him ‘She's right, you know.’ And deep down, he knew it too. So he went with her advice: ignore Y/N.

—

You’ve had a terrible week; your assistant manager forgot to count the inventory which meant she also forgot to make an order for inventory. A group of teens stole a bunch of little vials of oils you had put on display. And to top it all off, a man stood in front of your shop with signs that had biblical verses written on them, blocking the entrance way and essentially driving away any potential customers. You called security but they never came.

You were used to this happening, it's happened all your life. But that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. I'm not harming anyone, so why does this happen to me? Next week, your mother was flying in from Maine to look around the house to make sure nothing would ‘freak Stephanie out.’ 

Driving back home, you were just waiting to mix some bath salts in your tub, play music, and relax for the next couple of days. By sheer coincidence, as you pulled in you noticed your neighbor that you now knew as Draco pull into his driveway.

This week can't exactly get worse you thought as your legs carried you to his front door. With gentle knocks on the door, you waited patiently. Being rejected once more didn't bother you, but you at least wanted to hear him speak to you and try your chance to become better acquainted.

Draco opened his door, his tie was undone and he looked confusingly at you. “Can I help you?”

Panic overcame your senses and without thinking, you blurted out, “Do you hate me?” You noticed his shocked face as it was probably not something he expected to hear.

“Excuse me, what exactly are you talking about?” he asked in his entrancing British accent. It was too late to take it back, so you just kept going with it. “I’m sorry, but you moved in here four months ago and you seem to have made friends with everyone around here but for some reason, you won’t even say ‘hi’ to me. Did I offend you or something?” You sounded exhausted and sad. Not only at the week you just had, but how Draco wasn’t being so neighborly with you as he was with everyone else on the street. It bothered you so much to no end. And the most frustrating thing was that you didn’t understand why.

“Uh, I apologize that we haven’t been on speaking terms but I don’t think I have to talk to you now, do I?” Draco scoffed. Why is he being such a jerk? “I’m not saying that you have to talk to me, but it’d be nice if you could at least wave or something. But instead, you look at me funny and ignore me. It’s kinda rude.” 

“Merlin, you muggles are so temperamental.” Draco said under his breath. The word sounded funny to you.

“Muggles? Did you just call me a muggle?” The look on Draco’s face didn’t go unnoticed. He stared at you for a few moments, not saying anything. What does that mean? “Is that what you call Americans in the UK? Doesn’t really sound nice.”

Draco started laughing mockingly at you, his grip on his door tightening and knuckles turning white, “Look, I don’t understand what it is exactly you want from me but I will say this; the fact that you are so offended that I won’t acknowledge you is honestly quite fucking childish and if you couldn’t get the hint then I’ll say it plainly for you now. I don’t. Wish. To. Be. Friends. With. You. Got it?” and with that, he slammed the door in your face.

Groaning out, you yelled at him through his door, “Fuck you then! I don’t wanna be friends with some rude prick!” You ran to your door and slammed it pretty hard. The sudden noise frightened your cat and made her run from her tower into your room. What the fuck is his deal? 

You walked to your room, pissed off and tired. Looking up, you saw Draco in his room. You stared each other down before you walked up to your window to close your blinds, flipping him off before it fully closed. Afterwards, you took a regular shower and went to bed. Anger built up inside you, and for probably the first time, you hated another human being. And you had to live next to him for god knows how long.

-

“I mean, did you really have to say that to her?” Ian and Ashley had just listened to Draco explain what had happened the night before. Ian just sat in the chair eating his lunch as Ashley responded to him. “I know things might be different in England, but you should’ve given her a chance. She could be nice. I have a couple No-Maj friends on my block.”

“I’m on Ash with this. Is it really all because she’s Wiccan? Be honest, Dray,” Ian chipped in. At that point, Draco didn’t really know what to say. He thought he could look past it, but he couldn’t. “Maybe, yeah. I come from two families that had very strict traditions and views of muggles. I thought I dropped those views but seeing first hand what they do and-”

“And it makes you feel like a freak? Because you’re a real wizard that can do magic and they sit in some weirdly drawn circle and ‘do’ magic?” Ashley finished Draco’s sentence, making quotation marks with her hands. “I get it, I really do. I was offended too when I had to read about No-Maj’s doing this during school. And then to see movies where witches are viewed as ugly, green-skinned hags with warts on her face and wear rags for clothes. Kinda brings you down as a kid. But I got over it. You should, too.” Ashley held Draco’s hand for a bit before she grabbed her coffee mug and left for her appointments.

Ian sat quietly, watching as Draco was sinking in everything he was advised. “Look man, it’s not really my business to be telling you what you should or shouldn’t like, and who you should or shouldn’t like. And you know what, you’re not exactly in the wrong to get mad about what happened. After all, she just kinda picked a fight with you out of nowhere.” Draco had a face that looked as if he was saying ‘Right? I’m not crazy here’

“But,” of course there’s a ‘but’, “from what I hear around the street, Y/N’s really nice. Super weird for sure, but an overall nice person. I think you should think about it.” Ian nodded at Draco before joining Ashley out of the breakroom. Draco sat there, thinking about what his friends said and also thought back to his mother’s letters. I’m such a child. And I’m the one that called her childish. If he was honest, you were but it didn’t make him better.

He knew what he was going to do after work. It pained him to have to apologize to someone. Apologizing wasn’t something he was exactly used to doing. He’s only done it once to Harry and his friends nearly three years after the Battle. He didn’t even really know what to say to you. But he’ll figure it out. Right?

-

You stood shocked at your doorstep, hands holding onto the sweater as you looked before you. “Mom, you’re here early.”

“I had been given an extra week off of work so I thought I’d just come and see my oldest baby before your brother and Stephanie comes. Also gives me a head start to plan our dinner and get this house situated,” your mother walked past you with her two large luggage cases and dropped them on your living room floor. She looked around the house and eyed all the decorations and pictures on the walls.

To her, everything was nearly normal. You had family pictures posted and some pictures of you and your friends from college. In the living room, you had a tapestry hung up behind your couch that used to belong to your grandmother. “Y/N please, will you take down that blanket? Why don’t you put up a picture of some flowers, or maybe something abstract?”

“Because I don’t want a picture of flowers and that’s not a blanket. It was Grandma’s. I want it hung up there. Ma, you gotta understand that it’s my house now.” Your arms were crossed due to the cold. You had the day off and tried to spend it well as you did your cleansing spell in the morning, but it seems that it wasn’t very effective seeing as your mother came in and immediately started nitpicking everything.

“It was cute in your room when you were a kid. But you’re 26 now. How would your boyfriend feel if he walked in here and thought ‘oh, didn’t know I was dating a 16 year old.’” Her constant criticism was nearly pushing you to the edge. “Ma, I don’t really want to argue with you tonight so I’m just going to bed-” a doorbell rang throughout the house and you were thanking whoever was listening for giving you a reason to walk away from your mother. 

As soon as you opened the door, you were met with another face that you weren’t exactly excited to see. “Can I help you?” you repeated Draco’s words from last night back at him in a spiteful tone.

Through gritted teeth, he looked at you and said, “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for being an arse yesterday. I hope we can look past it and become well-acquainted neighbors.”

“Huh, you’re sorry? You don’t really sound it.”

“I know, I’m not really used to doing this,” Draco quipped. “But nonetheless, I would still like to apologize.”

“Yeah, whatever, I’m sorry too.” You were about to close the door until your mother came up and pushed the door completely open, “Honey, who’s at the door- oh! Hello, I’m Y/M/N. And you are?” She looked at Draco with the nicest smile that you had ever seen on her.

“Hello, My name’s Draco. Nice to meet you,” he awkwardly shook your mother’s hand. He didn’t smile, but he also didn’t have the usual scowl on his face when he would look at you. Guess he does have manners. “Y/N, is this a friend of yours?” your mother insinuated with a less than discreet wink. Without missing a beat, you replied, “No. Ma, this is my new neighbor. I just met him. But it’s late, so nice meeting you Draco. See you around.” And you closed the door.

“That was rude, Y/N. You should have invited him in. He’s very cute,” your mother grabbed her bags and headed into the guest room. From a distance, you could hear your mother speak to herself, saying ‘At least this room looks normal’. “It’s kinda late. Besides, we have all the time in the world to talk.” 

You walked to your small closet and grabbed the special bath salts for stress relief and walked to your bathroom. Starting to strip, your mother barged in. “Ma! Privacy, please!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I gave birth to you. Anyways, how long has it been since he moved in? Do you think he knows about your witchy stuff?” She asked as she stood by the door, checking her reflection as you continued to undress for your bath. “I don’t really hold a sign around my neck that says I’m a Wiccan, Mother,” you said with closed eyes. Your mother said, “I hope not. Night, baby,” and closed the door.

This is going to be a long three weeks.

-

The morning came and you woke up before your alarm and did your daily routine. The only difference was that your mother was going through your pantry looking for ingredients to make breakfast. “Morning, honey. Do you want some pancakes? I’ll make your favorites! It’s still blueberry, right?”

“No, that was Y/B/N. Mine are chocolate chip and peanut butter.” You said flatly as you grabbed your watering can. “Oh that’s right. But I already bought the blueberries.”

“That’s fine, they still taste good.” Your mother was satisfied with your response and started right away. You walked out to your front yard and watered your plants along the fence. The betony plants were beautiful, its sight was calming your nerves as you poured water over them. The sound of a door closing caused you to look up, watching Draco as he was standing in his yard with what seemed like a cigarette attached to his lips before he took it out and placed it onto an ashtray that was on his porch.

He walked over to the fence that separated your yards. The smell of the cigarette was in the air and it reminded you of your late father. “I meant it last night,” he mentioned his apology. You didn’t really know what to say so you just nodded and went back to watering your plants.

“But if I recall, you did start that fight,” he chuckled. You glared up at him for a few seconds before returning to your task. “Alright, I guess I’m sorry too.” Draco scoffed and just whispered ‘Whatever’ and walked away. “Wait,” you called for him before he walked back into his house and luckily, he stopped. “I’m sorry,” you said with sincerity. “Can we just start over?”

He stared at you, visibly contemplating your question then finally said, “Sure.” He walked into his house and you stood shocked in your yard. Your mother walked out and announced to you, “Honey! Breakfast is ready! Come on, I think your plants are watered enough.” With the snap of your screen door, you were released from your daze and walked inside. Maybe this week is turning around after all.

-

Draco sat in his room, not exactly sure what exactly happened. Was he really going to try and become friends with a muggle? He could imagine the look on his fathers face. Just because he had lost in the Battle, didn’t mean that he magically accepted muggles and muggle-borns. Narcissa didn’t like them much either but she also didn’t hate them as Lucius did.

This would shock not only his parents, but also his friends, Blaise and Theo. Merlin, the person that would probably have a field day about this would be Hermione Granger. He sat there, imagining Granger either laughing at him or cursing him after all the bullying he put her through. All those years of calling her a mudblood and he becomes friends with a muggle. A No-Maj. A Wiccan No-Maj. But then he thought about what Ian said at work. Y/N is really nice. Weird, but nice. And when he agreed to having a fresh start with you, he figured that it would give you a chance to prove him wrong about what you were like.

Or she could be exactly what I always thought muggles to be. Foolish.

—

next chp

(っ◔◡◔)っtaglist: @beiahadid @malfoy-styles-wife @fivenightslaughter @juneballoon999 @leydileyla @fangirlanotherjust @originalsoulcollector @opiomancy @lipstickandloveletters

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy au #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy smut #draco malfoy fic #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy series #draco malfoy x muggle!reader #draco malfoy x female reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x you #draco x you #draco x y/n #draco x muggle!reader

[mellarkandart]

top 5 fan works of 2021

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2021. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

tysm for the tag @hailing-stars!!

2021 was like a breakthrough year for me as a writer, when I finally decided that in order to refer to myself as a writer, I needed to write! I’ve been blessedly welcomed into two beautiful fandom communities this year, Irondad and Severitus, and it all makes me so happy 💛 I posted 17 fics on Ao3 last year which is kinda crazy to me and it was a little difficult to narrow them down, but here we go! I’m bad at tumblr so I’ll just link all works at the bottom of this post 👇

1. Scissors

this is hands down my favorite work of mine, because it comes from a very personal place for me. I think that the main reason it’s so dear to me though is because of the tremendous amount of support that community has shown me, like just the outpouring of love towards my personal story and then the people in the comments sharing their own stories and struggles with mental health… it’s a fic I was very nervous about posting because of what people might think and in turn I feel like it’s become such a safe place to discuss the sort of things that the story is focused on and it just really means a lot to me that strangers on the internet are not only willing to be so kind to me but also brave enough to share their journey as well.

2. Illicit Affairs

this is kind of a dark story presented in such a light tone lmao I was super excited when I first started writing this and boy it flopped so hard, for like five solid chapters I didn’t think that anyone was reading it and I felt so discouraged but at the same time, you gotta write for yourself, right? I figured that this was a story that I wanted to read so I’d better write it. About midway through writing the original ten chapter layout one idea crossed my mind and pretty much changed everything, and so it took me awhile to finish but I’m so proud of it and the response it’s received now is mindblowing to me and while I was so relieved to finally finish that final chapter, I just couldn’t seem to let go of my innocent Hufflepuff Harry so I’m continuing the story as a series with one-shots, one of which is already posted and there’s a couple more in my docs just waiting to be polished up.

3. Itsy Bitsy Spider

only Irondad fic listed here? Okay… yeah XD there’s like four other ones that I posted this year are okay, but I feel like this one is a lot better. I was so excited to hop on the Friendly Neighborhood Gift Exchange, but I also had no idea what to write and was so nervous as to what my giftee would request… luckily @asyouleft said that they were cool with anything and so that somehow ended up here XD I had been reading a lot of Homeless Peter fics and identity reveals are always cool, and I thought I could have something like that occur around Christmas and while it’s barely mentioned in the fic, it does happen 😂 I almost didn’t do the whole repetitive “there was a spider” thing at the beginning of each scene but I mean… there was a spider XD

4. Calamity

gahh… I look back on this fic and see nothing but a contingency mess, but it’s one of my most popular fics and I guess I have to appreciate it for being the first real fic I’ve written. I mean I’ve been writing fic for several years but it was very, very bad and I didn’t really even seem to realize it which is the sad part 😂 I started when I was thirteen tho so let’s just say this was my first fic as an adult. Uh, anyway, I start to feel self conscious about my work after about six months (or hours but like whatever) so I haven’t actually looked over it in quite awhile, but I guess it’s what kickstarted me into really writing fic so yayyy!

5. The Boy Who Swung

this is a chaotic mess and I’ve never had more fun writing anything. I always like to incorporate humor into my stories bc that’s my coping mechanism or whatever but I never imagined that I would write a full on crack, or a crossover fic, but here we are. the best works to me are the ones that teach you how to write more and/or differently, and I feel like this one taught me that I don’t have to try quite so hard in order to achieve my writing goals because it didn’t take me long to write and it was perhaps the first time I really actually enjoyed writing something lmao

Tagging: I apologize if you’ve already been tagged or don’t wanna be tagged, I don’t really know people on tumblr that well so I’m just going at random here with users I recognize lmao: @asyouleft @joyful-soul-collector @wiceba @timberva @sherlockfreak05 @whumphoarder @yes-i-am-happyaspie @gzdacz-writes-fic @keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars @kohakhearts @zenzenhanashi @clairdeloon-abie @marvelous-writer @magnificentandstrange (I’m not sure if some of you lovelies even write but you’re really nice readers at least so I didn’t wanna leave you out 🙈😂) and anyone else feel free!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #335

“on my forehead, a birthmark  /  remove it with the kiss of a knife  /  even if it causes me to die”

Do you recover well from surgery? Judging by the two surgeries I've had, oh yeah. I was hyper as hell when I came home from getting tubes put in my ears as a little kid, even though the doctor said I'd be very sleepy. Then, after my cyst removal, I was put on very strong painkillers but was still warned it was going to be a painful recovery, when it totally wasn't. I literally only took painkillers the first day. What addictions have you had? Caffeine, technology. Would you change your name if you became famous? Nah. If Cupid were real, would you hire him to make someone love you? No. I don't want somebody forced to love me. Ever been to an auction? No. Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy”) It kinda varies with gender. Women I tend to call "beautiful" or "gorgeous," sometimes "hot" or "cute," while men I usually refer to as "handsome" or "hot"/"sexy." The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you? She's a bit younger. When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? Hm. I dunno. I have a hard time saying "no," so. When was the last time you had Pop Tarts? What flavour were they? Many months ago; I kinda stopped eating them because they're truly not filling and just a load of sugar that veils itself as an actual breakfast choice. But anyway, I liked the chocolate sundae ones. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. Did you ever play Spyro? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! SPYRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those games were my CHILDHOOD, and it's half the reason I'm dying for a PS4 to play the remastered trilogy. Speaking of which, it'd be awesome if they remade the The Legend of Spyro trilogy as well. I might just like those games more than the originals, but that's a bold statement I'm unsure about. Have you ever dated someone who was of a foreign origin? I dated a Hispanic guy for less than a day. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? Ozzy Osbourne's, yes. I'm just fucking waiting for Mark to write one, but he's always said he has so little interest in writing about his life. DO IT, YOU FUCK. Do you own any succulents? No. I think they're pretty, though. Do you have a drone? No. What’s your favorite Netflix series? *shrug* What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Summertime. The heat, the humidity (at least here), the sunburn from just standing outside for ten minutes... I hate all of it. The ONLY two things I enjoy about summer is swimming and then flowers, though spring is the more floral season here anyway. Do you have revenge fantasies that you never actually play out? They've... happened. Did your first real significant other change you at all? Pretty sure forever. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Once upon a time, that was the plan. Now, nah. I'd just want to be in a healthy, stable, and long-term relationship. What do you think about divorce? It's sad, but necessary for some people in order to be happy, which everyone has the right to be. I used to be very firmly against divorce except in extreme cases like abuse, etc., and I'm still definitely no fan of it and think couples should do their best to work things out, but it's incredibly unfair to believe that someone should be stuck for the rest of their life with a person they just don't love anymore. Getting married can be a mistake; don't damn people forever to be chained to their bad decisions. Do you remember the first time your heart broke? What was the reason? It was probably when Dad just abandoned us. What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? I don't think anyone's ever pulled a sick joke on me. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk? Yes; my little sister deadass tried to walk outside late at night. Thank God I was on the computer in the living room and stopped her. What song are you listening to right now? I just turned "Mutter" by Rammstein on. When is the last time you cursed? I'm not re-reading, but I have probably cursed fifty times in this survey already. It's so deeply ingrained into my vocabulary. Are there any words on your shirt? No; it's just a plain gray tank top. Why do you forward forwards? I never do because they annoy the fuck out of me. How many people are you interested in at the moment? Just one in a healthy and logical way. I can't be truly interested in Jason because like come on I haven't spoken to him in four whole years. My PTSD just ensures I never forget the memory of who he was, who probably no longer even exists. I mean, look how much I'VE changed in four years. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Nnnnope. Who was the last person (apart from family) that you spent time with? What did you get up to? Apart from family, I have no idea. If you have pets, when was the last time one of them got on your nerves? Venus never does, but Roman can get on my nerves sometimes when I don't let him lay on me when I'm on the laptop in bed. He's a large cat (not overweight, just a big male cat) and blocks the screen big time unless he lies down properly, which he doesn't always do. He still tends to win when he tries to come over, but sometimes I'll block him with my arm, and this spoiled brat will actually slap it a few times before walking away lmao. Would you rather live in a house with a swimming pool or an indoor cinema? Absolutely a pool. I want one badly. Do you own a credit card? If so, do you currently owe any money on it? Could you afford to pay it off tomorrow if necessary? No. How many hours of sleep do you typically get each night? Is that enough to function or would you rather have more? Especially lately, I don't get nearly enough. Like at the time I'm answering this question, it's 4 AM, and I've been up for almost a couple hours. I struggle with falling asleep, I will ALWAYS wake up at least once in the night, and I jerk awake from nightmares regularly still. It's a big reason why I pretty much require naps. Does your house have a loft/basement? Are they functional or do you just use them for storage? We only have an attic. Do you suffer from road rage? What kind of thing tends to set you off or wind you up while driving? No. I'm way too timid of a driver to get that outwardly pissy about stupid people. I'd just judge them in silence, haha. What kind of animal did you last see in the wild? Is that a common sight where you live? Because of just how common they are, I'm going to assume this excludes birds, in which case it was probably a squirrel? Yeah, the normal brown ones are common. Do you post a lot on social media? If so, what kind of thing do you tend to post on there? Since I was fucking stupid enough to post a suicide note on Facebook (I don't want to hear a goddamn thing about "attention seeking," I genuinely wanted to say goodbye), I almost never, ever, share things about my personal life. Even before, it was rare for me to actually share what's going on with me. All I really do now is share relatable, wholesome, or funny shit I find, as well as political things I'm in firm agreement with. What are some habits you have in common with your parents? I pace like my dad, and it drives people crazy because it apparently makes them anxious? I can't think of an obvious one I have with Mom, but I'm sure one exists. Where's your favourite place to swim - the ocean, a pool, river, lake etc? I feel safest and most clean in a pool, but c'mon, swimming in the ocean is so much fun. When you're saving your place in a book, do you use a bookmark or fold your pages down? Or something else? It depends on the book, it seems. Especially if someone else owns it, like in school or something. Is any part of your body hurting at the moment? Is there a specific incident that caused the pain? My legs always hurt. I've shared enough as to why; it wasn't an actual, singular "incident." What was the last thing to make you laugh out loud? OH MY FUCKING GOD. So in group therapy the other day, one of the girls had her bearded dragon out, and he was being aggressive. I think he tried to bite her aND SHE SAID WITHOUT REALIZING HER MIC WAS ON, "fucking dickhead," and everyone d i e d. She's a really cool chick, I'll miss her when I'm finished with PHP. Who was the last person you heard sing? Myself, surprisingly enough. I barely ever sing. Do you bite your lips a lot? Yes, especially when they're dry. .-. What part of your body would you never get pierced? Anyone who gets a piercing "down there" has a greater pain tolerance than this bitch right here. Have you ever dated someone with tattoos? Juan had quite a few. I don't remember if Tyler did... but I think maybe a The Legend of Zelda-related one? Have you ever failed gym in school? No. Are you scared of dogs? No; I love dogs. What is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Man, idk, I'm a little bitch when it comes to emotional movies. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is high up there, as is of course Johnny Got His Gun. Old Yeller, too. Which one of your friends is most likely to be famous one day? Why? Sara's gonna write a fuckin book series ok you can't convince me otherwise. What is the worst present you have ever gotten? Damn dude, what an ungrateful question. I'm just appreciative someone even thought TO give me something. Do you shave your arms? My armpits, yes, but not my arms themselves. How many people have you dated? I only count three as even remotely serious: Jason, Sara, and Girt. Have you ever performed in a play? I remember back in Sunday school as a tiny kid I played Mother Mary in one we did in class. Do you chew gum? I have been more lately since my doc upped the dosage of one of my mood stabilizers (which I think is actually helping); I mention that because apparently a side effect is dry mouth, and it's the fucking Sahara in there. He advises those who deal with it to always carry around hard candy or something like that for the sake of forcing salivation, so gum works for me. How old were you when you first started dating? I was in the 7th grade when I had my first "boyfriend," but it was total puppydog love. I started dating my first "real" bf when I was just shy of 16. Are/were your parents strict? Dad, no. Mom, only to a degree that I feel was pretty reasonable. She only ever wanted to prepare us to be functional, independent adults. Didn't work so well on me though, ha... Do you wear glasses? Yes. God, I need new ones. I'm blind as hell. What do you miss most about your childhood? Being so outgoing and happy to just be weird lil me. Do you write “To-Do” lists? Not really, no, but I do have notes on my phone about a couple things, like a bulleted list of planned monetary investments by importance, as well as a list of drawing ideas. Do you have a favorite quote? What is it? I don't, really. There's loads I like, but no one favorite. Could you survive as a vegetarian? I pretty desperately want to, but I don't know if it's realistic. I am so, SO picky, and without meat, it's very questionable as to where I'd get an adequate source of protein. I still want to try again though once I'm at my goal weight. Has anyone ever asked you for your autograph? Lol no. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah, but that was a looong time ago when I was actually some semblance of pretty. Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? I used to be someone who firmly stood by nighttime showers, but now I'm all about them in the morning. It's a nice way to wake up and start the day with productivity. Could you handle living with a male roommate? I mean, I lived with my then-boyfriend once, but I'm going to assume you'd consider him more than a "roommate." We lived with our two other friends, though, also a couple, and I was totally fine with living with them. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yes. Do you like Freddy Krueger? His concept is very scary, but all the movies I've seen bits of have always been super cheesy. Which do you prefer, Naruto or One Piece? I haven't seen either and really aren't interested. What do you think of Rob Zombie? I've never really watched his movies, but I'm a fan of his music. What’s you fetish? I don't have one. Have you ever been in the “friend zone?" Well, what I'd call a "fake" one with Jason after the breakup until I was blocked on Facebook. I know now he absolutely did not want to be friends; he was trying to appease me. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? Definitely conservative. Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Yeah, me. Were either of your parents baptized? I'm certain Mom was, but idk about Dad. I think so. The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No. What was the last computer game that you played? World of Warcraft. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Are any rooms in your house themed? No. What was the last thing that you recorded? I think Mom and I singing "happy birthday" to my late dog Teddy; we knew it would be his last. Do you like the show Futurama? Not really. Have you ever been in a choir class? I was in the elementary school chorus, as well as the choir at my childhood church. Are you ashamed of any of your family members? No, only myself. Were you a chubby child? No. Did you ever have senior photos done? No, even though I wanted them. Who is the person you dislike the most? God, this is so petty... but it's the girl Jason dated after me. I know it's childish as hell to feel like she "took" him from me, and I just feel this horrible hatred towards her that is entirely uncalled for. I just can't get myself to move past it. Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? No, as I'm unemployed and also don't have disability, so I literally can't. How do you usually celebrate New Years? I really don't do much. Sometimes Mom will grab a pack of daiquiris, but that's pretty much the extent of it. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? N/A What was the last job interview you went to? At a local grocery store to work in the deli. Got the job, lasted there for not even two hours. :^) Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Autism and mood disorders, yes. I myself may have high-functioning Asperger's (yes, I know that term doesn't technically exist anymore, it's just the umbrella term of "autism," but w/e). Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, and it's pretty much guaranteed that, unless there's some sudden accident, my mom will die of cancer, too. Hers got too bad to entirely eliminate every trace of cancer cells, so it will inevitably re-emerge at some point, just obviously some place else given that she had a total hysterectomy. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? Office. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? I enjoy all of those, but sour I think tops the list.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''mutter'' by rammstein

[dashchaudhry]

[ cis male, he/him, archie renaux, twenty-four ] i can’t be sure, but i think i just saw ADAM “DASH” CHAUDHRY drive onto the parkway. don’t they know we’re not supposed to be driving on that haunted road right now? maybe it has to do with the fact that they’re so +CREATIVE and -SENSITIVE that makes them feel PARANOID about everything going on. i guess we could also chalk it up to the fact that they’re always reminding me of RED-RIMMED EYES FROM LATE NIGHTS WORKING, ELABORATE STACKS OF EMPTY SODA CANS, and LOUD DANCE MUSIC. either way, i hope they get back safely. [ nie, she/her, 26, est ] 

PINTEREST BOARD

PLAYLIST

BASICS.

NAME: Adam Chaudhry NICKNAMES: Dash DOB & AGE: October 31 / 24 years old OCCUPATION: Dog walker, freelance artist, and go-to guy for all your tailoring needs HOMETOWN: Tampa, Florida 

PERSONALITY.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Passionate, resourceful, and creative

NEUTRAL TRAITS: Stubborn, sarcastic, and curious

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Jealous, resentful, and abrasive

FACTS.

Born and raised in and around Tampa, FL, Dash found himself in a bit of a lull post-grad. An alumnus of the Pratt Institute, he majored in Fashion Design and minored in Digital Arts, without much of a plan on what he wanted to do after college (King of hitting a peak in college and not wanting to grow up) and ended up back on his parents’ doorstep by the end of the summer. After about four months going to the beach every day and not getting much done, his parents got sick of his lazing around. It also happened to coincide with an upcoming surgery for his grandma, who lives in Reed, so they sent him up to VA to help her through her recovery.

Once his grandmother was back on her own two feet and fairly self-sufficient again, Dash just kinda.........stayed lmao, mainly because his grandparents are way less naggy than his parents. So he’s been in Reed for about two years now, working as a dog walker and a freelance artist. He has mainly worked with businesses and local bands in the broad area to create merch, logos, etc. He also has a website where he gets some online commissions. His parents still nag but from several hundred miles away, and does he feel like a constant disappointment and avoid talking to them? You betcha. :)

Ultimately, his passion still lies with design and he makes a lot of his own clothes. He’ll also hem your pants or patch something up for pretty cheap, if need be.

Dash is an all-around passionate, outgoing, sometimes-intense guy. He is very in tune with emotions and enjoys experiencing the world around him, whether that be through high nature walks or deafening dance music. He wants to feel, and to feel those things with other people, but that also goes for the less-than-rosy emotions as well. He gets very caught up in the negative ones, too. He can be very abrasive when annoyed, angry, or offended, and can’t quite mask when he’s upset.

Not to drag him but he is also a major simp sdkljag. Sorry he loves girls and wants smooch??? He still currently lives with his ex-girlfriend, Peyton Huckabee; he spends most nights on the couch, but is still pretty much at her beck and call. Can you say..... pathetique? <3 

While not all-in w conspiracy theories, he finds them to be both a fun topic of research and conversation. IRT the murders, he’s wigged out and his penchant for cooking up crazy explanations is only heightening his paranoia. But he’s lucky in that he hasn’t lost anyone close to him as a result of what’s going on, so yeah he can often be the guy at the cafe who has wrangled you into a wild conversation about aliens and cults and stuff and you’re like..... bro I’m just here for a latte.

TBH his nickname comes from his mom’s childhood dog sdkagsad. Sorry man :/ But he does prefer to be called Dash. If you call him ‘Adam’ he’s just gonna assume he’s in trouble for something or you’re pulling a His Mom and threatening to throw a slipper at his head.

And uhhh, idk!!! He’s curious and wants to get to know people and also wants money so please hire him to walk your dog at least he’s begging. :’))))

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

Best friend, friends, hookups (past or present), clients, “enemy” (he’s intense enough to think of someone as a genuine enemy sdkljag), etc. — literally anything!!!

Reach me on discord at nie#5762

#parkway.intro #:^)

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

Do you know how crazy it would be if there were an AU where all of the Perry-centered AUs anons have pitched to you over the past few months were all stitched together? Say there was as alternate universe where Perry is a robot and OWCA has many copies of himself and he's raising an organic platypus baby with whatever the heck a capybara is, and that's all without context!

okay I literally have three asks that I should be answering before this one if I go in like wait-list order (is that even English who the fuck knows at this point) but this one is KILLING ME and I have an answer it immediately okay hold on I gotta go check my list of asks to see what we gotta work in and I’m totally including headcanons with the AUs to make this into the biggest and best trainwreck of all time

Okay so we start with day one: OWCA’s training regiment at The Academy is super harsh, and it turns Perry into the supersoldier he is. This is, of course, because Perry is a robot.  One day, robot Perry stumbles upon Phineas and Ferb, and the kids play around with his wiring and give him Feelings™. Essentially, this means that the kids saved him from a cold, dark, meaningless existence. They don’t know it yet, but Perry was actually sent to them to keep an eye on them, though OWCA did not anticipate that the boys would mess with his software. 

Perry goes missing one day, and OWCA panics and makes a whole new Perry robot to replace him, thus inventing the Perry clones. Each agent has to upload their memories every now and then, which means Monogram can just insert Perry’s mental hard drive into a new Perry robot. I guess somehow in the process the og blueprints got a little fucked up because they now match what Phineas and Ferb did to Perry, and while OWCA had questioned it at Perry’s last physical, they note that Perry is doing better than ever -- though he is a little more benevolent, which they’re not sure they like -- so they don’t really question it.

As the years pass, more and more Perrys go missing or die or get captured or whatever, and at this point, OWCA just has a whole fucking army of robot Perrys chilling in the OWCA basement so that whenever a new one needs to replace an old one, he’s ready. He lets all the platypuses run around Danville, possibly after they escaped on their own, and now all the platypuses in Danville are Perry clones. Across the 2nd Dimension comes along now, and in the 2nd Dimension, the clone robot Perry program has already been shut down because 2D Doof would be too powerful with an army of Perryborgs. Perry does a really good job at keeping the mindless platypus facade up at first, even though 2D Doof knows it’s him because he recognizes Phineas and Ferb from Perryborg’s locket. They mostly manage to work together without Perry revealing himself until the very end, when they’re having that last-ditch effort back in the first dimension to stop 2D Doof from taking over. 

Okay this is where I’m getting a lil confused because I have four ways this could go right now: Coby the Capybara starts working for OWCA, the og robot Perry from before the clones thing shows up, the butler!Perry doesn’t write “I fight evil” au, or the au where Perry gets zapped by the ultimate-evil-inator in Where’s Perry. They all gotta make it in here eventually, but I have spent like ten minuntes trying to decide whether I want Coby or the og Perry to come back first, and whether either or both of them should be back for butler!Perry or evil!Perry, and I do not fucking know so I’m just gonna wing it and hope for the best lmao

First comes Coby the Capybara. I guess he’s now also a robot, right? But he doesn’t have any clones? I think is how these headcanons work? So Perry has no idea why the fuck this new guy is so happy and annoyingly optimistic because he’s literally just a robot but whatever, as long as Perry can stay away it’s all good, right? But Coby basically inserts himself into Perry’s life, and while most agents don’t have host families, OWCA makes an exception here because the Flynn-Fletchers have basically already adopted him and it can’t hurt to have two agents keeping an eye on those kids, right? And they don’t really get along that well at first because they’re so different. Usually it’s Perry that gets annoyed at Coby, but sometimes it’s the other way around. For instance, Coby gets really fucking annoyed at how Perry doesn’t let him have any fun. So what if he gets needlessly risky when it comes to almost revealing his secret identity? It’s fun, something that Perry has apparently never heard of. And while Coby is fooling around with all Perry’s shit, he finds the pictures from the second dimension, and he’s about to go chew Perry out for being such a fucking hypocrite until he reads the lowkey diary entry that goes with the pictures where Perry admits to being scared out of his mind the entire time and how it crushed him because he can’t let it show that it got to him at all because he’s a robot and he’s not supposed to have feelings. I choose to think for maximum angst reasons that Phineas and Ferb didn’t play around with his wiring because unlike when Perry first wandered in, they knew Coby was a conscious animal. Still, Coby knows Perry has human-like emotions, even if he can’t quite understand them, and he knows he can’t imagine what Perry had to go through. Coby is a lot nicer around Perry and doesn’t risk blowing their covers as much after that or at least not where Perry can see it, and as time goes on, Coby also becomes a much better agent, too, until they’re basically equals, and, more importantly, they’re family. 

I think I’d rather the evil Perrys come before the og Perry comes back but I do also wanna throw Coby in just for kicks, so we’re gonna skip on over to the ultimate-evil-inator Where’s Perry au. The Flynn-Fletchers and their friends are all in Africa, but, unlike Coby, Perry couldn’t get the time off. He gets hit by the inator, obviously, and turns evil, and he strings Heinz along to get what he wants. To briefly summarize the description from the post, basically Perry uses Heinz just long enough to take over the tri-state area, and to do so, he needs to capture everyone he deems a threat, which includes everyone from OWCA. 

The kids come home to find that somehow their dumb little platypus took over, and they decide they’re the tri-state area’s only hope so they set off to stop him. This is where it differs from the og ask: now we’ve got Coby in the picture. Coby works for OWCA so obviously he knows the ins and outs of the city better than these kids do and he makes it to wherever Perry’s hiding out before everyone else. Perry has his robot army grab him, but Coby demands that Perry let him talk and for some inexplicable reason, Perry does. Coby basically begs him to back down (and it doesn’t work). He reminds Perry that these people did nothing wrong and they don’t deserve this (and it doesn’t work). He tells Perry that this is just a victory for Heinz, even if the poor dude’s now in prison, and that Perry’s not supposed to let Heinz win (and it doesn’t work). He pops open his collar locket and shows Perry the picture of the two of them with the three kids, and begs Perry not to let anything happen to them because they’re family... and it still doesn’t work. Perry orders the robots to execute Coby, but then Phineas, Ferb, and their friends show up and start talking over each other a mile a minute except Ferb but his silence is just as wholesome in Perry’s eyes and Perry looks between the kids and Coby and he realizes that this is Not Good™ 

Perry just drops to all fours, orders the guards to release everyone, and pretends it never happened. Coby’s kinda taken by surprise, but he’s not shocked -- Perry is nothing but a family man, even if he can’t admit it -- so he also drops to all fours and pretends nothing happened. The kids are really confused, but hey, everyone’s happy so it’s all good, right?

But now that we’re basically talking about the entire summer, I feel like this is a great time to talk about what happens after he becomes evil and then becomes good again, and how that sets him up for the next time he becomes evil because the poor guy can’t catch a break. I know I touched upon it in the reblog that’s linked with the post, but because of all the AUs, it’s more complicated than that (not because it has to be more complicated but because I like overcomplicated things). At least in the original AU, OWCA would probably expect Perry to feel a little down, but now that he’s a robot who’s not supposed to have feelings, he has to pretend it doesn’t bother him, and I have to imagine that would make him feel even worse. He’s a little wary around not only Heinz because he’s seen for the first time what his nemesis is capable of without remorse bearing in mind that the second dimension didn’t go the way it went in the movie so he never saw the worst of his dimension’s Heinz, but also around the kids because he’s afraid of them getting hurt if he gets too close, especially because OWCA doesn’t know he actually cares about them.  

And that’s where everybody’s favorite capybara comes in. Coby himself may not have real feelings, but he knows Perry does and he does consider Perry to be family, even if it doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing to him as a robot as it would to anyone else. Coby tries really hard to cheer him up and to assure his friend that he’s here for him if he ever wants to talk, but Perry turns him down every time because even though Coby can handle himself, Perry doesn’t want his own dumbassery to put him at risk. Still, even if he doesn’t consciously realize it, having Coby around makes him feel a little more welcome, even after that whole debacle. 

And then we’re gonna go with Butler!Perry, because why not make him turn evil twice? But again, because Coby’s here, I’m gonna change up how it goes just a little. So basically Remains of the Platypus goes how it usually does, with Heinz turning Perry into his butler and Carl trying to give Perry his hat and Monogram is eating cheese and all that ish. But as the au says, Perry doesn’t write “I fight evil” on his chest, so he doesn’t remember that he’s one of the good guys after Carl spills juice all over his shirt. Heinz sends Carl back to OWCA and spends the next few days gloating because haha I have your favorite agent and in your face, Francis! and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. 

Coby has been trained not to ask questions, and, as a robot, he’s really not supposed to break protocol or people are going to start asking questions. But the boys are starting to get really nervous and honestly, so is he, so he finally says “fuck it” and during his next mission briefing, he asks Monogram where Perry is. Monogram explains the whold predicament and basically says that as long as Perry doesn’t want to come back, their hands are tied. Coby’s hands are tied, too, in the sense that he has to take the case he’s given regardless of his own feelings and preferred agenda, so he reluctantly accepts his case and does his shit, and then he heads to DEI to see Perry. Heinz is just kinda vibin, probably watching TV and Perry’s, like, massaging his feet or something idfk Heinz is a weird dude. Coby breaks down the door and Heinz would do something about it but he’s also really investing in his relationship in the soap opera so he tells Perry to go take care of it. This time, since the problem is that Perry doesn’t remember anything and not that he’s legitimately evil, Coby manages to bring back his Perry by taking Perry’s collar off and showing him the locket and idk maybe he has to show Perry that he has a locket like that, too, just for the cuteness factor. Perry snaps out of it, and he and Coby beat the shit out of Heinz before heading back home together, and fortunately no one at OWCA questions it because they’re just glad to have Agent P back. 

Now Perry’s really wary around Heinz because this is the second time he’s turned him evil and, unlike the in original au, it wasn’t Heinz who decided to change him back. Their nemesisship takes a really big hit here, and nothing Heinz does can fix it. At the same time, though, Perry’s almost feeling better now than he did before, because even if he can’t trust his nemesis, he knows he can trust Coby. They truly are an inseparable duo...

Until they become a trio?

One day, a new platypus robot walks in the yard and he looks like a mess. He’s covered in scratches and wounds so deep that his wiring is coming through and sparking and it looks like he’s about to explode at any minute. That ends up being the original Perry robot, and he’s not very happy to see another platypus in his yard. Phineas and Ferb see him and they take him in because he obviously needs help, and once they’ve fixed him up, they decide they’re going to keep this new platypus and name him Bartholomew. Everything is sunshine, unicorns, and rainbows because yippee-doo, their family grows, right?

But Perry and Coby aren’t stupid. Contrary to popular believe, robot animals don’t wander into yards for no reason, no matter how many times the boys think it’s happened to them. So the three of them finally get the chance to talk, and it doesn’t really go well. Neither Perry was aware that there were Perry clones, and though they can sort of figure it out because they both have their one-of-a-kind locket with a picture of them and the boys as babies (though Perry is very disappointed to realize this is actually a picture of Bartholomew as a baby, not him), they’re not happy about it. The three of them head down to Perry and Coby’s shared lair and demand answers from Monogram, who basically explains that yes, they did clone Bartholomew, but they’d been looking for hi for days and the boys were getting antsy. They didn’t want to put the kids in danger if they discovered something they weren’t supposed to, so they basically said fuck it, let’s make a new Perry. Monogram neglects to mention that they’ve done this numerous times before and that every Danville platypus is a Perry clone.

Bartholomew and Perry don’t get along at first, and since neither of them have any reason to dislike Coby, he ends up being the mediator most of the time. Monogram tries to assign both platypuses to the same mission once, and Coby shuts that down immediately because they would literally murder each other. Bartholomew never met Heinz so that stays Perry’s thing, even though they’re still on pretty rough terms. Coby and Bartholomew do their own stuff, and for the most part, the two platypuses only interact when they have to -- when the boys want all their pets together or when Monogram needs to see all three agents.

And then Monogram realizes that he doesn’t really need three agents to watch two boys, so he reassigns Bartholomew to the Regurgitator case. He figures Perry’s been there the longest and Coby’s more familiar with the older Phineas and Ferb. Bartholomew’s been gone for so long that he’s probably the least useful one there. Monogram delivers the news to him alone, and when he refuses to take no for an answer, Bartholomew rebels. He explains the whole predicament to Perry and Coby, and while Coby sympathizes, Perry agrees with Monogram. Neither of them want to do anything to help, so Bartholomew basically says “fuck it, I’ll give you a reason to help me,” and reveals his identity to Phineas, Ferb, and Candace. At that point, there’s no reason for Perry and Coby to keep theirs a secret, because the kids are smart enough to figure it out themselves. Now that they’ve all revealed their identities, they’re all at risk of relocation if OWCA catches them (except Bartholomew who’s probably in more danger than them because he directly defied orders to do this, but come on, after the shit he’s seen, he can deal with them). In a desperate attempt to keep the family together, the three of them, accompanied by the kids and all their friends, start an uprising against OWCA. Perry decides to meet up with an old friend, Dennis the Rabbit, for a little help because he knows Dennis is just as pissed at OWCA as they are. 

I feel like that should be enough to reform OWCA, but because we still have a fuck ton of AUs left, it’s just enough to convince OWCA to lay off the punishments a little bit. The family gets to stay together, but only if the kids lose their memories. Just for kicks, Dennis gets to join the Flynn-Fletchers’ pet squad, too, but he comes with a collar this time that has his name so Candace stops calling him Mr. Cutie Patootie. Otherwise, everything goes back to normal, and now there are four animal agent robot thingies living with the Flynn-Fletchers, which is exceptionally weird because, again, the agents don’t typically have host families. Still, at least they kids are being watched, right?

One night, Heinz breaks into OWCA for one of his schemes, and he discovers the Perry cloning program. He only gets to read some of it because most of it is classified, but he gets the gist. He’s not sure what to do with this information, so he just kinda leaves and pretends he never saw it. But when he sees Perry the next day, he decides that’s not something he can just leave alone. He tries to get access to the files with Perry’s DNA and with Carl’s, but neither of them work so he somehow copies Monogram’s handprint and uses that. He’s in the middle of reading all about the program and all the different Perrys they’ve made and how different ones have been lost and/or destroyed, and then Monogram walks in. In the original au, Heinz destroys the machine, destroying the clone Perry in the process, and runs from OWCA to find the real Perry. I don’t particularly want this Perry to die, nor do I want Heinz to go on a wild goose hunt when the original Perry is literally Bartholomew and probably like two miles away, so that’s not gonna happen. Instead, Heinz promises he’s not going to do anything with this information and he leaves.

When he fights Perry the next time he tells Perry all about what he found. He admits that he tried hacking in with Perry’s handprint and with Carl’s and that he eventually had to use Monogram’s. He explains that the whole idea makes him incredibly uncomfortable and feels too evil, even for him, and that he almost destroyed the machine because it would end the program, but he decided against it because he likes Perry a lot, even if it’s just a clone of him and even if the feeling obviously isn’t mutual, and he wasn’t going to do that to the guy. He just figured this is something he should make sure Perry is aware of, because it sounds like it could have consequences.

It doesn’t have any dire consequences, but it does make Perry very happy. He’d been really iffy around the guy after the whole “turning him evil” thing, so this means a lot. Heinz had no reason to tell him any of this. He really just admit all these things that he knew could make Perry very uncomfortable just because he thought Perry should know the truth, and that’s not even taking into consideration that he has no idea how OWCA would respond if they knew Heinz had told Perry anything. Of course, Perry already knew about the cloning program (though not about the Danville platypuses; that one is new), so he’s not too phased by it. That helps bring their relationship back closer to the level of trust they used to have.

Perry goes home and explains it all to Coby, Bartholomew, and Dennis. None of them are comfortable with the newfound knowledge that there are, like, 50 Perrys out there, but hey, that’s life, right? Bartholomew kinda stops hating Perry as much now that he knows there wasn’t just one Perry that replaced him, and that’s it’s really been a big cycle that OWCA is prepared to continue if given the opportunity. When Bartholomew stops being as mean to Perry, Perry starts liking him a little more, and it kinda helps mend their relationship too.

And now it’s Last Day of Summer, except after the boys get sucked out of the universe, Perry does, too. He’s too disoriented to really process what’s going on until the boys have already noticed that he’s standing there on all fours, so his cover’s officially blown. Together, they have to figure out how to get back home. The rest of the day pretty much goes as it does in the episode, and in the end, one is okay. Heinz turns good, which means Perry now has to meet him in secret because he’s a robot and not supposed to have friends but that’s okay. He can deal with that. 

For some reason or other, Perry accidentally “has babies” because he happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when three platypus eggs appeared. They end up being Horatio, Ornithorhynchus (Ornith), and Anatinus (Ana). Hey, you said all the AUs, and there are two Dad!Perry AUs so thsi is what we got lmao. Horatio is a lot like Perry overall, Ornith is a lot like the Agent P side of Perry, and Ana is a lot like the mindless pet side of Perry. It’s a lot of work trying to balance looking after three baby platypuses, especially because they’re actual platypuses and he’s literally a robot. Fortunately, he does have his friends to help, and Bartholomew kinda likes having these kids. It almost reminds him of Phineas and Ferb back when Bartholomew first met them. 

But OWCA tries to get the babies to join no matter how many times Perry tells them to fuck off. One day Perry comes home to find OWCA trying to recruit them behind his back and he’s furious. He throws his hat down and quits because if they’re not going to respect him, he’s not going to respect them. That’s kinda OWCA’s first real glimpse into the fact that Perry has feelings because he’s done a good job at hiding them until then, and they don’t really like it but there’s nothing they can do. When the rest of the agents come home and hear what happened, most of them quit, too, but Coby doesn’t. OWCA is going to want someone to keep an eye on the boys regardless of whether Perry, Bartholomew, and Dennis are up for the task, so he might as well take the L so OWCA doesn’t try to run them out of the house and replace them with a different agent. 

Horatio feels really guilty because he thinks this is all the his fault, so he runs away under the impression that Perry will have an easier time dealing with this if there are only two platybabies instead of three. Now Coby has to balance watching the human kids with taking on his cases and making sure Ornith and Ana don’t wander off. Perry, Bartholomew, and Dennis all have to track Horatio down, and they end up finding him at Doofenshmirtz Good Inc. because Heinz saw him on the street and after the clone Perry debacle, he’s a little wary of seeing non-robot baby platypuses on the street by themselves. He’s a little bitter that no one ever told him that Perry had kids, so Perry assures him that he can meet Ornith and Ana soon. He also gets to meet Bartholomew, which blows his mind even more than the platybabies because holy shit it’s the original Perry, so they lowkey become friends too (but not as close as he is with his Perry). Also just for kicks I’m gonna say he befriends a different platypus clone completely unrelated to this and names that Perry “Steven.”

Shit gets real complicated when the kids from the second dimension cross over into the first. Perry immediately informs Perryborg that his cover is still intact and hands him the pamphlet, and Perryborg has to explain it all to the kids. They can’t admit that they know something that the first dimension kids don’t, so they have to pretend they’ve never met before and hit it off like new friends. Meanwhile, Perry has to explain this to his friends, because the only one with any semblance of an idea that this went down is Coby. Perryborg kinda wants to befriend the platybabies, but they’re kinda terrified of him because, you know, he’s a big scary robot that can obliterate sticks. Perryborg’s jealous of Perry because he has this whole big family to himself now, and because he didn’t lose years of his life with them like Perryborg (and Bartholomew) did. It was enough to upset Bartholomew when he came back, and it’s enough to upset Perryborg. Meanwhlie, Perry’s jealous because Perryborg gets to be himself instead of pretending to be a mindless pet, and Perry wishes he could do that, too. In the end, they both decide that they’re probably bette off how they are now, and when the second dimension kids head home, Perry and Perryborg part as friends.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The end.

This is 4400 words and has taken me many, many hours so if anyone actually reads this whole thing I am very sorry but this was my idea of a “quick fix” for yesterday’s depressive episode lmao anyway gtg gonna buy some more discount halloween candy 

#pnf #look i have an ask #i usually semi-proofread these but i'm far too lazy to do that so you get what you get and you don't get upset lmao

[magniloquent-raven]

Ooh for your prompts: Fluffy Elmax sleepover with cuddling for #16 pls :') xoxox

i had such a good time writing this omg thank you!!! tho there’s a couple bits that threaten to be angst because im physically incapable of writing pure fluff lmao. it’s just tiny bits tho. just a smidge.

also, because s4 isn’t out yet i uh. kinda just did a time skip but didn’t rly change anything about how s3 left off? i know we know hopper’s alive but like. i guess he’s just still in russia in this fic LMAO rip. don’t think about it too hard

posted on ao3 as well :)

—-

Max’s watch timer beeps obnoxiously again. 8:36. El’s late. She hits snooze.

“When’s your friend supposed to be here, sweetie?”

“Soon, mom. You know, you and Neil don’t have to wait up.” They do this every time. Like Max isn’t almost seventeen and perfectly capable of being alone in her own damn house for five minutes. At this rate they’re going to be late for whatever thing it is they’re going to, and Neil will be even more of a bitch than usual.

Her mom glances over at him. He’s sitting in his armchair looking surly, checking his watch pointedly. Asshole.

“Well…I don’t think—”

Max hears a car pull up out front. “Oh, thank fuck,” she mutters, turning on her heel and marching out to greet the Byers’.

Joyce climbs out of the passenger seat as Max strides across the lawn. “Max, honey!” she waves, grinning bright, “How are you?” There’s always a…tone to how she asks that. Questions lurking under the surface that they don’t talk about. It makes Max’s insides all squirmy thinking about it, though she is on some level grateful for the concern.

Max stands on the curb, tugging on her earring. A habit by now. It’s both a comfort and a reminder. She got one hell of a lecture the day she came out of the bathroom with blood running down her neck and a safety pin in her earlobe, but she didn’t regret it for a second.

El slides out of the driver’s seat, her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. Max watches her stand and adjust her shirt. She always looked good in yellow. “I’m good,” Max responds after a beat, and it’s honest for once.

The door behind her creaks. Probably her mom and Neil coming out of the house, hopefully to leave, finally. She doesn’t turn around, just steps into Joyce’s waiting arms and presses her face into her shoulder. Max is taller than her now, by a couple inches, so it hurts her neck a little, but it’s worth it.

Will’s still tucked away in the backseat, peering through the window, Max waves at him when she peeks up over Joyce’s shoulder.

Then El distracts her. “Your hair,” she says, gently tugging on a lock behind her ear. Max steps back from Joyce, and runs a hand through it, cheeks pink. Three years ago she’d hacked off all her hair with a pocket-knife, woke up the morning of Billy’s funeral with strands still stuck to her neck, locks hanging ragged across her forehead. Her mother had thrown a fit.

“Yeah, I cut it again,” Max says, like that wasn’t obvious. She’d let it grow out uneven and messy for a while, but she broke out the scissors again about a month ago. It’s neater than her last haircut, but not by much.

El’s hand is in Max’s hair again, dangerously close to her face. Max’s knees wobble a little.

“Bitchin’,” she says solemnly, after a few seconds of consideration.  

Max’s grin is blinding.

Her mother cuts in, before she can respond, gives her the usual talk about staying in the house and making sure she’s got her emergency numbers memorized. Then she bids them all a hasty, distracted goodbye. Her mom was never very comfortable about the Byers’. Probably something about Joyce’s too-knowing gaze, or the fact that El glares daggers at Neil every time he’s within range.

She’s doing it now. Watching him get into his truck with a quiet rage in her eyes. Joyce puts a hand on her elbow, and it doesn’t move until Neil’s truck has turned the corner at the end of the street.

“We should get going,” Joyce says, checking her watch. “Will wanted to be at Claudia’s an hour ago but we got caught up at Mike’s house, and, well, you know how it is,” she flutters her hands, approximating a shrug.

She hugs El goodbye, then pulls Max in for another one. “Call us if you need anything,” she says, pulling back and putting her hands on Max’s shoulders. That sad glint is in her eye again, and Max knows the offer extends beyond tonight.

“Thanks, Joyce, we will.”

By the time she’s taken the corner at the end of Cherry Lane Max’s watch is beeping again.

El glances down at it, a pinch between her eyebrows. “…Was that for me?”

“Uh.”

The confusion melts off her face, replaced by a cheeky grin. “It was!”

Max shuts the alarm off, cheeks burning. “Why were you guys at Mike’s for so long?” she asks. eager to change the subject. If the guys are meeting up at Dustin’s the delay wasn’t because Will and Mike were catching up, and, well, Mike and El’s relationship is…of interest to Max. For reasons.

El purses her lips. It’s a face that tells Max they’re gonna need to be sitting and cozy for this conversation because it’s gonna be a long one. So, she links their arms and pulls her inside.

An hour later they’re huddled under a throw blanket on the couch. El is giggling, face in her hands, and Max is wheezing around a mouthful of skittles.

“Oh, that’s so not funny,” she chokes out, trying not to spew candy everywhere, which brings about a fresh wave of laughter. El’s shoulders are shaking, brushing against Max’s and making her warm all over. God damn, she’s missed this.

“Then why are you laughing,” El replies, poking her side and smiling from ear-to-ear.

She’s beautiful, Max thinks. Her braid is half-undone, letting her hair curl around her face in gentle waves, and her eyes are bright. She looks happy, and Max holds on to that, keeps it all for herself because she did that, she made that happen. She might not have everything she wants from El, but she’ll take whatever she can get. Whatever El wants to give. And sometimes just her smiles are enough, enough to make Max’s chest constrict and her heart glow, because for now, she’s happy too.

She laughs again, in leu of a response. How can she not, when she feels so light she could float away, high on the soft strawberry scent of El’s shampoo and the way her cheek dimples when she grins. But she can’t say that, so she says, “Because it’s Mike,” and pokes El right back. “I’m legally obligated to laugh at his misfortune.”

They have a complicated friendship, which mostly boils down to her being willing to bail him out when he’s in shit, but only if she gets to make fun of him while she does it.

El wrinkles her nose a little, but her smile doesn’t dim, “You two are weird.”

She’s pretty sure it used to bother El, how much Mike and Max fought. Max can’t help but wonder if they’d have gotten along better if she wasn’t in love with his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. Because she’d dumped him for good this time. Four months ago, apparently, though Mike was, until a few hours ago, under the impression it was temporary.

Max almost feels bad for him. Except she doesn’t. Apparently, he was a dick about the whole thing, so at least she has a solid reason not to.

“You love us,” Max scoffs. El may have broken up with Mike, but she’ll always love him in some way or another.

El’s expression softens, turns fond and sweet. She’s thinking about Mike, Max is sure, but the smile is still directed as her. Small victories. “I do,” she says quietly.

They order a pizza after that, and watch movies into the wee hours of the morning. By 3am Max’s throat is raw, and her stomach hurts from laughing (and too much pizza). It’s the most fun she’s had in a while. The Byers’ don’t visit as often as any of them would like.

Max isn’t even tired, but El’s head has been dropping onto her shoulder on and off for the past hour so she suggests they call it a night.

She knows that when the boys sleep over at each other’s houses they’ll take the floor, or the couch in the basement, anything but actually sharing a bed. As El wraps an arm around her waist and snuggles up with her under the blankets, Max takes a moment to wonder if that would be better or worse than this.

It always seemed so miserable to Max, how much boys have to limit themselves.  

But also…well, it might be easier sometimes. She wouldn’t have to deal with wanting things she shouldn’t want because El would be over there, and not right up in her space, hands warm and breath tickling Max’s ear. This is different than sitting thigh-to-thigh on the couch, it blurs the line more, and it’s the ambiguity that’s driving Max crazy.

She wasn’t tired before, but she’s wide-awake now.

Time creeps by strangely this late at night. Max isn’t sure how long she lays there, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm her pounding heart. El’s breath is steady, quiet, and her eyes are closed. Max is sure she’s asleep, she was so tired before.

Before she can stop herself her hand creeps up, brushes a strand of hair from El’s face.

Moonlit, she’s ethereal. There’s always been something otherworldly about El, with her big, dark eyes, always watching, boring holes into you with their intensity. Shadows play across her cheek, and Max tracks them for a while, absurdly jealous of moonlight.

She traces patterns on El’s forearm, the one resting on Max’s stomach, keeping her touch light so as not to wake her.

More time passes, and Max’s head feels heavy with sleep that won’t come. She’s groggy, leaning back but unable to keep her eyes closed.

She starts talking. Whispering. Remembering the times she read Wonder Woman comics to El until she fell asleep, and hoping, somewhere in her foggy brain, that it might work on herself too.

“You know… I always knew we’d be good friends. The second I heard your name I wanted to know you,” she murmurs, and draws a star on El’s wrist. “Didn’t know how badly I wanted until I saw you though. You were terrifying, and I loved it. And now…” Her eyes slide closed as she thinks. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful. Everything about you. And I love you…more than I should.” She sighs, sits in silence and cards her fingers through El’s hair. It’s getting so long.  

El’s hand closes around her wrist.

Max’s eyes fly open, and she stills, heart pounding. “Uh.” El’s eyes are open, looking up at her, she’s awake, she’s awake, oh fuck– “Um. Did—did I wake you up, I’m—sorry if I woke you—”

“It’s okay.” The corners of her mouth turn up, slow and careful, “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“Oh.” Is all Max can manage, staring down at El with wide eyes, waiting for her to…do something. Max’s palms are sweating. She doesn’t know what to expect.

El moves her hand, puts Max’s palm against her cheek and shuffles forward until they’re nose to nose.

“Oh.”

She tastes like toothpaste and kiwi lip balm, and kisses as sweetly as she smiles. Her hands end up in Max’s hair, fingers gentle but demanding, guiding her forward. If Max wasn’t already laying down, she’d need to be because her knees are jelly.

“Oh,” El echoes when she pulls back, laughter in her voice. She presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Max’s mouth, careful and deliberate. Then her expression softens, sobers. “I was jealous of you. At first. Didn’t…know what it was. Know why. So, I ignored you. And… I’m sorry.”

Max shakes her head, “Ancient history. It’s okay.”

“No, I,” El stops, furrows her brow, “You were so happy. Free. I wanted that. And then, then you helped me have that. So. Thank you.” She cups Max’s face, fingertips tracing along her cheekbone, and Max’s heart sings. “And I love you too.”

They kiss again, and Max decides that El sleeping on the floor would’ve been a terrible idea.

#elmax #elmax fanfic #stranger things #el hopper #max mayfield #i couldn't resist the little bits about max mourning her brother because im a masochist apparently #if anyone was wondering the earring max is wearing is 100% billy's #and joyce knows neil is The Worst which is why she's concerned about max #making sure he isn't treating her how he used to treat billy #yeah #ALSO #susan being all overprotective? #is because of billy #like. he might not have been her kid but he was something to her yknow? #and now he's gone #and she gotta deal w that somehow #and shes dealing with it by clinging extra hard to the kid she's got left #THAT'S TOO MANY SAD HEADCANONS TO PUT IN ONE FLUFFY SLEEPOVER FIC WHY AM I LIKE THIS #anyway apparently posting my writing is a thing i do now so i need a tag #a raven's writing desk #because i'm real pretentious dont @ me lmao

[ruhkie-a]

so. i’ve been holding off on making this post for awhile bc i haven’t known how to word it 100% without hurting feelings (or making people feel like i’m trying to aim this at them, when i promise, i’m not trying to point fingers lol.) but i am still in the process of returning to this blog while considering the idea of entirely rebooting/changing many things about my portrayal of leon. i know i’ve been saying this for months now and trust me, i’ve never forgotten it lmao. 

i think the blatant truth at this point is: i’m tired of writing young leon. i’m tired of writing re2 leon and this blog wasn’t ever really meant to be focused on re2 leon; i originally made this blog as a way of exploring post-vendetta leon and the high stress of reaching the end of his career/finally getting the chance to reflect on his life, but i think it kinda turned into young leon’s story over time due to the high demand from writing partners? which i have no issue with but there comes a point where i get bored, you know? 

i also had to deal with force shipping on this blog, which got to a point of becoming excessive. it still is. i had blogs who i’d reached out to plot and immediately, they wanted a ship. sometimes people would be discreet, other times they would be so open about it, i would block on the spot. i kinda wanna make it clear right now: i don’t ship on this blog. i got rid of shipping on this blog a very long time ago ~ nearly right when i first made this blog. i’ve got one ship that translates to most universes and that’s it; that’s all i want + all leon wants. 

in addition to that, i have had to deal with copious amounts of copying. to every single person who’s stolen something from me; i’ve noticed. i’ve noticed pieces of my old writing being scattered in some of my mutuals writing ~ i’ve noticed aspects of my portrayal being used in others (sometimes it would be certain metaphors/similes i would use with leon, other times it would be headcanons.) i always noticed. i stopped posting headcanons/aspects of my portrayal because sometimes, i would post things and i would see things being rewritten on certain blogs word by word. some of them were leon blogs, some of them were other character blogs who legit had just switched “leon” out for their character’s name! originally, i reached out to people! i would ask for people to take certain things down and then it got to a point of frankly not caring anymore. i got tired of trying to stop something i can’t stop from happening. so i got rid of writing headcanons + other things on my own blog bc i felt like i couldn’t! (this was still occurring while i was on my hiatus, just as an fyi. i wasn’t on this blog and people were still taking things lmao. blows my mind, ye know?)

i also have had a hard time returning after all the recent stuff happening in america (and all over the entire world, honestly) with police officers and police brutality, given so many of my alternative verses take place with leon being a cop. i come from a mixed household and it’s hard writing a cop lol, especially given some of my own personal experiences with cops. basically, it’s really fucking hard writing a cop lmao. i also do believe some of it stems from the tumblr politics which have grown so massively over the past few years. i do get nervous writing certain characters because while i know i’m not doing anything wrong, someone else might deem otherwise. so i avoided this blog like crazy for the longest time ~ i didn’t want to write a cop because fuck the police and i also didn’t want to write this kid who i had kinda grown to hate over the past few months. i hated my portrayal because it wasn’t what i wanted to write. 

so ~ i had four things i needed to figure out prior to coming back to this blog. i needed to figure out my portrayal, i need to figure out how to stop people trying to forceship/stealing from me, and i needed to figure out how i felt about writing a cop. i’ve spent the last 5/6 months trying to figure these things out and i think i’ve finally come to somewhat of a conclusion for all of these! (thank god lmao) so, i think within the next few days i’ll be archiving and moving to an entirely new blog. over there, you’ll be able to find a brand new portrayal of my leon on what i want to write. it’ll be my “happy medium” of everything and i’m excited to finally share with y’all what i have been working on for months hehe. ♡

#out. #long post / #idk i kinda wrote this last night and have been sitting on it #because i don't want to sound whiney per say #i don't really talk about my personal feelings on my blogs for that reason? #so idk this is weird to post but i feel almost necessary? esp bc it /is/ leon? #idk ~ tl;dr: i'm archiving leon in the next week and basically rebooting everything #see y'all on the flip side xo

[songsorter28]

Blackpink: The Album Review

Okay, this is the first time i’ve done this and the truth is i don’t know how, so i’ll just try my best.

First of all: I am a Jennie biased blink. That means I have no trustworthy sense of criticism when it comes to them and if you do, this is probably not the place for you. I will try to talk about this album with a sense of criticism, but sometimes, i’m just gonna like a song because it’s blackpink and y’all just gotta deal with it.

BUT, I am not afraid of saying i don’t like things that the pinks have said it to like, which is actually how i’m starting this review. So, if you guys are all about loving the girls and emotion and “think about how they must feel” this is a decision made by the girls, this place is also not for you either. I am a blink and i share a lot of love for those four women, but i am also a consumer of their work as artists. I will complain if I didn’t get something I thought was necessary as a viewer and listener for my money and attention to be spent. I will not, of course, hate on them in any way.

Ok, before anything:

1) English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. 2) Here, we’re gonna talk about the cover, pre-release single choices, writing credits, tracklist and my honest opinion about the album as a whole.

a) The Cover:

There’s not a lot to talk about but the fact that it’s gorgeous, but simple. I didn’t understand why a crown if the name was The Album (something unoriginal to be honest, but i’m not 100% against it) and there’s no reference to royalty throughtout the album besides maybe Jennie’s rap “didn’t want to be a princess”. I did find the cover visually pleasing tho, could be much more embarrasing.

b) Writing credits and Track List:

This one is quick. I’m extremely glad Jennie and Jisoo were credited as songwriters (Jennie as well as a composer) but Teddy gotta give Danny Chung to god. He hates rapper Jennie and he’s the reason Lisa doesn’t write. He’s always in charge of the raps so teddy gets confortable and Lisa doesn’t get a chance to write her own verses, which is something the sure thing cover showed us she can do. Also, he hates rapper Jennie to the point where she had to write her rap on the title track (wich is good, but, you know what i mean) and wasnt even given a chance to write more than 8 seconds. Melanie I hope this is the last time you were here. Loren you can stay. Tommy and Ryan yall were cute we had fun but it’s over let’s move one (seriously, these producers really made me appreciate Teddy more lmao pls sir never leave us). Okay that’s it. Now, to the track list.

I will be talking about the fact this shouldn’t even be called a full album on the My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole topic.

1. How You Like That

I say my opinion more detailed on the next topic but at at essence. Cute. A good opener to the album and what is to come, but too much of a bside to even be a pre release single.

6.5/10

2. Ice Cream

Again, my opinion it’s on the next topic. Cute song. Loved Chaennie’s high notes and wish i didn’t know english so the rap didnt sound that silly. Not as bad as blinks and non blinks make it out to be. 

6.12/10

3. Pretty Savage

I kinda also talked about that in the next topic lmao. It has everything a blackpink song should have. There’s been some controversy about Lisa “born skinny bitch” but Lisa was talking about herself since she has been body shamed through her whole career. She was right and she should say it. You’re entitled to feel uncomfortable but that’s just the thing she wasn’t talking about me or you. She was taking her pain and wearing like an armor. This was a diss track for the haters. Taking that away from her because of our own issues it’s kinda mistreating hers.

8.82/10

4. Bet You Wanna

Yes you guessed it right I talk more about it next topic. It’s a bop. Loved Jennie here. She has such a versatile voice I was very proud to hear her. And Cardi was also good. Just hope Lisa will get her rap part live cause she didn’t have much lines here. But I loved Jenlisa’s brigde. Rosé’s adlibs peak perfection and Jisoo’s chorus and english that’s what i’m talking about. The chorus can be a little repetitive and it kinda ends a bit suddenly but it doesnt bother me much.

8.37/10

5. Lovesick Girls

WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE OTHER THAN BEST BLACKPINK TITLE TRACK? Love that for me. It was so different than anything they’ve done so far, the lyrics were AMAZING, the message behind it also, the visuals in the MV, storylinne, RAPPER JENNIE OMG, she got the most memorable line “didn’t want to be a princess, i’m priceless” i love her tf the shade to the yg princess title and her scene in the car and in the mental hospital(will not touch on the controversies cause that was annoying) also Lisa’s rap/singing with a flow in the begining her voice OMG I WAS SHOOKEDT. Jisoo’s high note in the brigde? Rosé?? perfect.

10/10

6. Crazy Over You

Rapper Jennie for the last time with a 8 second rap again but LET’S BE POSITIVE. A bop. I loved the i. went. crazy. over. you. I love the lyrics. It bother a bit this much english but it’s bp’s idendity so i’m fine with it.

8.5/10

7. Love To Hate Me

This was a predictable song in the best possible way. Easily one of their best songs. There’s honestly nothing left to say. Also. Lisa’s rap. Maybe Danny Chung deserves some points. It even felt like she was a feat in the song like her flow yall just perfection.

9.4/10

8. You Never Know.

Great song I left with depression.

I like how this album talks with haters and blinks, it really shows a different side from the pinks. Only a few know the emotion Jennie starting off “but you never know unless you walk in my shoes [...] cause everybody sees what they wanna see, it’s easier to jugde it than to believe”. It was written by Loren, a close friend from the girls and the boy who’s Jenlichaeng  boyfriend in the LSG’s MV and Bekuh Boom, a producer who’s been with them for really long, but if anyone got a conspirancy theory that they were involved in the songwriting process of the song, sign me up. You don’t need proves. I believe you. ALSO JISOO GOT MOST LINE ON THIS ONE and we got singer Lisa. After a while, it become my favorite song from the album. Now, it’s my favorite song from their discography. Debate your mother.

9.62/10

c) Pre-Release single Choices: 

I can’t stress about this enough. Whoever was in charge for the single choices needs to go to jail. Not that HYLT is bad (at all) but comparing to the rest of the songs, it look MUCH more like a powerful bside than Love To Hate Me and Pretty Savage ever will. I will lecture later how Pretty Savage was the perfect choice to first release single, just wait. Now, to the controversial Ice Cream. To be honest, i found the song super cute and i think the MV was one of their best. It was different and refreshing, love that for me. But the whole sequence of events that turned out to that disasterous twitter timeline, with constant attacks to the girls especially Lisa over things they cannot control such as line distribuition and a sabotage from antis on yt comment section, was something I kinda already saw it coming. Ice Cream is Blackpink’s most successful single to date, but it was a bad choice from the start (I will talk about that in a second). For starters, YG decided not to promote the song well. While announcing the single, they gave us a poster with pictures from a summer package released months before. And each week they kept doing that, only using actual teaser photos in the release week. The hype was pretty much out. I can’t say my timeline is 100% blink because i have way too many fandoms that i’ve been following for longer than i’ve known kpop, but compared to the HYLT hype, they were pretty down and that’s on YGE. Also, ever since coachella, it’s been antecipated by fans and artists the possibility of a Blackpink x Ariana Grande (one of the most popular singes these last couple of years). The idea of an Aripink collab got blinks (who were already with an eye wide open after Blackpink was seen with Tommy Brown, Ari’s basically oficial producer, who has been producing for her ever since her second album and was reponsible for many hits of her latest project, Thank U, Next, such as 7 rings and Thank U, Next) even more hyped when YG announced (one of those old photoshoot posters. I’m sorry I will never let that go that company is so trash) that Blackpink’s second release was going to be a collaboration with a western artist, and Ariana herself like Jennie’s instagram post about the next single. I cannot put in words the reaction of my twitter timeline when YG confirmed that the collab was actually with Selena Gomez. 

Now, on a more personal note. 

You see, I actually like Selena. I like her songs, besides the critics. Perfect is pop perfection. Waverly Place is the best disney show ever since That’s So Raven. But, to a collab made to the US market, and besides the success of Rare, Selena isn’t a sales force like Adele or Taylor Swift, nor a streaming force like Ariana Grande. Nothing takes my theory that this was supposed to be an aripink collab but, for some reason, she dipped and then interscope (blackpink us label and selena’s label) picked her. Selena showed us a good time and promoted the girls more than YGE did but, it wasn’t a surprise when the song didn’t get a top 10 (a top 13 is really good tho, don’t get me wrong). 

Now back to the story telling

Selena was more than a feat, she sang the whole damn song, getting more vocal lines the the entire vocal line. She’s only a few seconds behind Lisa, who got the most lines in general. I understand that it is a collab, but this is the girls’ single. Why would they want to listen to them for only 16 seconds, the amount of time Rosé got? That set a bunch of solo stans (something that exists more in this fandom than everywhere else) to boycoitt the release, a huge fansite even taking out their funds for the full album (that was low, even for a solo account. JisooBar, you aint seeing heaven). Did i think it was a little of overeacting? As someone who’s an army that had to handle Not Today’s line distribuition, and especially since we’re talking about the main vocalist, someone who will for sure have more lines in the future (as she did), kinda. But, like i said, it was a bomb getting ready to explode at any minute. If it wasn’t that it’d be something else. That being said, NOTHING will ever justify the nastyness y’all did with Lisa and even Jennie’s comment section. Nothing. That was ridiculous even for solo stans. BUT for people who got worried about Lisa’s lack of posts after the release, don’t worry. She didn’t post a lot because Thailand is going through some stuff and I don’t think she has YGe’s permission to talk about it (when I catch the ones in power on that company istg). 

Wow, that was long. At essence, it  was a bad choice for several reasons, but i enjoyed the song a lot. Can’t wait for the live performances with chaesoo’s lines.

Now, back to HYLT. It was greatly promoted, it stopped Zico’s (huge in korea) releases and a bunch of other big artists in South Korea. Got 7 Perfect All-Kills and would’ve gotten more than 12 if the charts weren’t reforming at the time. It also broke a lot of records, and repeated Sour Candy’s position on the bb100 on #33. It’s another very Blackpink song that  I enjoyed but kinda aged. Many non blinks didn’t like it but it’s not like they were ever going to admit they liked a bp song. They’re annoying. The song’s biggest problem is probably the 2015 edm in the chorus. Like. Teddy. You gotta let that go. It’s time. He kinda heard us in the album. But, these kinds of songs are very liked by the general public, especially the korean one. An interview was made asking the general public if blackpink should change concepts and they said a bit fat no. So that tells what you need to know. And that it why i think Pretty Savage should have been the first pre release single. 

Okay, let me tell you another series of event. Back on november 2019, when we were starving because YGe does not like money, BlackpinkBar, a big fansite, payed trucks to be sent to YG building during a whole day demanding for better treatment to Blackpink. You can find all the demands online, but at essence, when it came to music related, blinks always mention: Jisoo’s lines, screen time and blackpink in your area, Main Rapper Jennie, Lisa dance break, Rosé’s high note. On HYLT, we got nothing. And everyone had to shrug it off saying it was just a pre release single, BUT it would be better hyped by blink and the hype to the second pre release would’ve lasted longe if PRETTY SAVAGE, who has basically all of that, was the pre release single. It would’ve assured us of so much. Jisoo said bp in your area twice, she RAPPED, she was singing, she could’ve had more screetime and center time especially bc she’s on all chorus. Jennie Main Rapper would go back and we wouldn’t have to be blue balled (which caused the ice cream meltdown)every single release and only having to wait till the title track and only to have a 8 SECOND RAP. I won’t talk about that now. Moving on. Rosé wouldn’t get a high note, but she would’ve gotten the brigde all to herself and the next pre release single, bet you wanna (wait for it), she would get those incredible adlibs. And Lisa’s dance break. Not only this is bp’s most danceable song and has a bunch of lisa’s raps, it also has jennie’s outro, where for a least 20 seconds lisa could’ve thrived. Yall we were robbed.

Now, real quick, back to Ice Cream. In a perfect world (or just a world where YG’s current ceo) had brains, if they wanted a collaboration to show the pink side of blackpink, with a poppy song and sassy lyrics, the artist not to be in the whole song, and to have an artist who would driven attention from the locals and is a big streaming force, THEY WOULD’VE CHOSEN BET YOU WANNA. My biggest problem with bet you wanna is Lisa’s lack of lines, which could cause stuff and well we just miss her they could have added a rap even for 8 seconds, BUT, seeing her all around pretty savage and knowing she’s gonna have Cardi’s rap during live performances would cool things down. Since we were in the middle of a pandemic, instead of a mv like ice cream where they had to do it separately, they could’ve done something like IU’s eight. A huge part in animation and a few with people. Literally YG why are you so dumb. Bye.

d)  My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole:

I did some math (lol) and my rank for The Album is 8.4. It’s easily one of the best releases from this year and I loved it so much, but something were left to be desired and i think i could pass everything and just turn a blind eye at things, except one: the fact we waited for 4 years, watched all ggs and yg groups getting comebacks last semester and only got 8 songs. Loona is releasing a mini album with that amount of songs. Stray Kids and BTS’s mini albums are longer than that. It was bad enough KTL had 4 songs and a remix (a joke) with 2 songs lacking raps and no rapper jennie only for them to carry YG’s dirty name after what their protected boys did. I legit hate it here they didn’t even had 30 minutes, their longest song wasn’t even 4 minutes. Also, before anyone says anything about the girl’s interview about quality over quantity. I’d like to say that i understand them having that when it comes to have one comeback a year and i’m honestly okay with that. But their first full album? 8 songs? Are you kidding me? Like I said, I’m a consumer. I refuse to receive this half assed excuse about quality over quantity when they had more than enough time to produce and write more than 8 quality songs? what, is impossible to write more than one song per moth? these songs have formulas, they can be made more than 8 times. A blackpink album its more than a thousand reals here. That 90% of a sallary. And please don’t come with the “if you don’t want it just don’t buy it” “you can just unstan them” bc that’s not the case. I love their songs. I love the girls. But I’m a consumer of their art and if they want to be takend seriously as artists, they gotta do more than 8 songs on a full album. It’s unfair to anyone that isn’t a diehard fan willing to sell out an overpriced photobook in hours. That’s not the only kind of fan blackpink needs. they need the store locals, the people who are not on twitter or tumblr or instagram. Cause those locals are gonna stay like they stayed with adele and taylor swift. stan twitter is much more likely to leave them with time.

Side note: I’m tired of commenting on rapper Jennie so I’ll just say Jennie deserves better than 8 second raps as the main rapper of the group. That doesnt mean I want Lisa to not rap or to Jisoo not to sing, as many will say bc apparently that’s what people hear when we say main rapper who trained for 6 years to be a main rapper should rap on at least most title tracks even if not on all songs.

But yeah, that’s it. Besides the unfortunate final note, I loved The Album and now Blackpink it’s my second most listened artist of all time. They were top 13 before the album.

#Blackpink Jisoo Jennie Rosé Lisa TheAlbum The Album AlbumReview Album Review Kpop

[soreavs]

⌠ RYDER MCLAUGHLIN, 20, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, SOREN AVERY! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in UNDECIDED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of hands crossed tightly over his chest, the uneven collar of a muddied school uniform and a reluctant smile. when it’s the virgo’s birthday on 10/27/1999, they always request their POTATO DUMPLINGS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. 

hello again , i couldn’t help but bring in a new chara !! unlike lucie, soren is a completely new character, so i rly went all in . i’m gonna tldr his bio as much as i can but this intro post will mostly be about his personality and some wcs , b/c i wrote a full bio which u can read here ! it explains everything in far more detail , but it’s a beefy boi , and also tw for, death, delusional disorder, implied suicide, implied murder . i’ll be yeeting out a starter soon but as always , please feel free to slither into my dms or ims !

okay so my tldr of my bio is gna sound kinda .. crass cos im truly just stating what happened but i understand that not everyone has the time to read long ass bios so please forgive if this sounds v apathetic to some of the traumas he endured. 

biography

mother left when he was born, leaving him with his dad and twin sisters who are eight years older than him. she apparently left for work with the intention of coming back, but never did. his family was always religious but turned to a strain of evangelical christianity which was very intense. when his sisters grew up they prevented him from attending. his life has been characterized by death or disappearances, four in particular. 1) his mother, who he never really knew. 2) his baseball coach who he knew well  3) his grandpa and 4) his sister. he never really processed this as grief because he had a really really overactive imagination and a rly fluctuating support system. he watched a lot of alien movies, and because his grandpa who had dementia was always going on about aliens he really started to believe that their disappearances had something to do with aliens. his father just believed he was enthused about aliens, space and physics, but never knew how that was affecting his grieving processes. it kinda all blew up in his face, when he was eighteen and his sister went missing after an argument with his dad. seven months later after the body is never found but there are indications that she may have been murdered, they have a funeral. he doesn’t believe she’s really dead, and he’s sure that he, like his mom, grandpa and sisters are in some part alien. he tells this to his sister and dad and they immediately send him to get help. because that drains them of all funds (they even have to ask extended family to help out), he feels super ashamed, but remembers the letter from gallagher he’d gotten just before he graduated high school. since it’s free and prestigious he hopes to make up for some of the harm he caused them, even though the faintest part of him still believes there’s something amiss with their disappearances. it’s likely his mother was a spy, and never told any of her family, but has somehow been trying to protect them over the years and that his sister is somewhere alive but yeh!

personality 

bb boi is rly just trying to recover from his whole life lmao .. he had baseball friends and school friends, but never rly friend friends?? he’s always been an athlete and gotten very good grades which is why his father kinda overlooked what else may had been going on with him?? 

anyways, he’s a bit shy at first but he’s pretty crackable dhjfg like an egg , just one tap on the table and he’s a gooey mess . still at the point where all he wants to talk about is aliens but as per his therapists advice, he’s trying to tone it down 

spy school wise ?? he’s into it , definitely , there’s always something to keep his mind occupied , with the extensive library and gym and pool , it’s more than enough . he did cross country and baseball in high school so he has the agility, but a binch is scared for bootcamp have u seen his twig arms 

also he’s undecided in his major b/c he wants to try everything but also he’s just a mess , he’s into this but also lowkey his main factor when deciding was the rep it had to outsiders and the fact that it was free 

he’s p soft spoken even when he’s excited , only a sliver of what goes on inside his head makes it out in the world wide world dfjhgk .. just realized none of this shit is personality based what can i say i have no braincells 

he’s nice! a little sensitive, a little moody, a little disconnected, can be chatty but can also be very nervous to talk in general constantly second guessing himself boom . 

wanted connections

lit rally anyone who’s an Expert in their major because he’s undecided but also a binch could have probably been valedictorian in the class had things not gone off the deep end towards the end of the year , so he wants to do well obviously . so one person for each major maybe ? he Shall rise as the  King  Of Jack of All Trades 

a solid friend group ? maybe a best friend? has never had one of those, sounds nice . 

jogging buddy .. he likes to run . it’s nice to run with someone . or so he’s heard , has also never done it . 

he’s in first year so the likelihood of exes is a lil slim , but i wld be down to plot smth that just didn’t work out cos he was not in the right mental frame at all like two weeks into starting Spy School and trying to hold a relationship . it would have been a v short term thing ! 

someone who tempts him to talk abt aliens , but to the point where it sounds crazy , or alternatively someone to suggest that someone in his family prolly had something to do with spydom 

hookups mayhaps 

anything else come @ me !!

#gallagher:intro #it's ya Boi #Skinny Penis #listen im sry my thing atm is getting wayyyy Too Invested in LA/NY celeb subcultures #n im in skate culture rn .. but at least ryder Acts unlike cough #alana #so we will be having some nice seksi big gifs

[nikatyler]

*gasp* a replies post! A long replies post! A long replies post where I overshare again! *o* Yeah I kinda missed doing these. I’m now at home, but won’t be for much longer. First, I’m going to meet some of my new classmates on Friday and I’ll spend the whole weekend with them! We’re going somewhere...well I don’t even know where that is, just that it’s in nature and I’ve never been there before! Thank gods we’re meeting at the main station in Prague, or else I wouldn’t get there myself. Then on Moday, I have to go to my uni, and then once more on Wednesday I think? And on Wednesday, I’ll have to wake up at 4 am. my LiFe Is SoOoOOOoO HaRd oH mY gOd. No, I’ll be fine.

And a month from now, I’ll be moving to my dorm. That’s some crazy stuff. I can’t believe it’s happening. Last week, my dad actually took me to Prague and we went to see where it is. The location reminds me a lot of my home, but I won’t tell you what exactly that is because no one needs to know that. Anyway, school starts in October. I’m actually looking forward to studying, but the “living alone in a big city with people I’ve never seen before” part is scary. D: I’ll give you updates.

Anyway, today was a weird day. First, I sat alone by the lake when these two guys came and talked to me (I didn’t mind that actually, they were kinda nice), then when I got up and said I had to go home, one of them complimented my legs...which would’ve been really nice but then he basically implied he’d go to bed with me...and like literally five minutes ago he said he had a girlfriend...basically men are scary. Then later, mum and I went grocery shopping and I saw my middle school crush with his girlfriend...and decided that his girlfriend is cute, way cuter than him actually...bisexual culture I guess, crushing on your middle school crush’s girlfriend lmao. Then we went to pay for our groceries and the cashier...was my childhood friend who also happened to be my first crush and also my last crush and these days I’m wondering if I’m really crushing on him or if I’m just holding onto him because I don’t know any better. Long story but if you ever feel like I have a thing for childhood friends to lovers trope, maybe blame him.

Wow. Oversharing much? Let’s get to those replies then, before I tell you what colour my underwear is or something.

Also!! Stream Lover. You won’t regret it.

volcanopasta replied to your photoset “@ ea guess what we still don’t have in ts4”

I miss spooning

I feel like that’s one of those little things half of the community misses. ;-;

simlishprincess replied to your photoset “MAGNOLIA???”

she’s morphing

She’s broken like this really often and it scares me :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Vanessa: “So do you forgive me?” Gwyneth: “Of course I do. I must...”

Lol, a bpr founder telling thez plan no more children, they are so funny

These sims have no clue what I have in store

And just you wait for gen 2

Just you wait

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “There it is. Wonder what she could use the computer for…;) (no, I...”

Well I can`t say this is surprisingXD

Yeah...do most people go for purple? At least most bpr people I follow/followed went for this colour :D I also wanted to do this thing where the founder chooses the pink person, but the heir is purple. Idk why, I just wanted it to be like that haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Uhh oh hi again. You guys are seeing this right after the last post,...”

Jeez, Vanessa looks like that liquid Terminaor from Terninator 2.Funnily enough he was posing as a police officerXD

Lol I have no idea what you’re talking about because I’m bad at watching iconic movies (read as: I haven’t watched any of the movies that people think everyone has watched :’D) but I’ll believe you lmao

dandylion240  replied to your photoset “I really can’t justify this, can I? Listen, I have to stay true to my...”

Sometimes the aliens won't let you go even if you want to.

Oh you’re right

create-a-sim replied to your photoset “She traded her policeman hat for a fishnet top. Fashion, you know.”

me as a policeman

Saaaame

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “You know how I said I couldn’t justify this? Well…Alexa play Oops I...”

Yeah, make Roxanne that purple sibling/s

Careful what you wish for 👀

dandylion240 replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

Awe I'm glad you didn't delete without telling anyone. You would have been missed. But you're not the only one who thinks about doing that though.

I love seeing you on my dash ❤️

1o8percent replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

I’m glad that sharing your worries was able to help you. Simblr can be overwhelming and well life in general can be too. It’s nice to have someone to let it out to. I’m glad you’re still around!

♥♥♥

Thank you guys so much. This happens to me from time to time, but it’s never been this bad.

desira-sims replied to your post “Random thoughts and ideas: NSB, BC and my hair (again)”

I’m slowly working through the sentence starters too. I didn’t realize quite how difficult some of them would be. Lol

Same! I might incorporate one of them into my yellow gen because it would fit there perfectly. God I’m really going to milk this one awful awful event for angst huh. That will be frowned upon. As for the other...I have an idea for it but it doesn’t fit the og Raleb timeline at all (it was for them) and I want it to be canon...like I kinda just don’t want to call it an AU, but I guess I’ll have to.

aiseinei replied to your photoset “Eden: “Ughhh oh my god my life is soooo hard!”

I would be too if I was stuck staring pink in the mirror for the rest of my life �� no very cute!

Oof same haha. One of the reasons why I was hesitant about starting BPR was the pink :D

And then I went and made my founder marry a pink sim and have four pink children with her, because that makes sense. I love making myself suffer, yay!

Thank you, btw!

medleymisty replied to your post “I'm not saying I want to re-read my entire NSB but...I kinda do. Will...”

*hugs* We're our own worst critics. I used to cringe at my old stuff too, but really it was decent. I might have learned more since then, but it was still good. I'm glad you can see the good in yours. :)

I’m definitely not as hard at my younger self anymore. I went and read some of my stories written when I was 13-14, and I tried to look at it that way. They weren’t perfect, but maybe they were good for a child of that age. I mean, I always got good grades on my writing homework, and my teachers have always liked how I worked with words, so...yeah, it’s not perfect, but I’m not going to have perfectly fleshed out characters and storylines when I have barely even understood that the world isn’t just black and white, good and evil. There are shades inbetween.

That got deep again but I have a lot of feelings about this and I’m sorry to my younger writer self for how I’ve treated her. Keep going, kid.

xiapxls replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Whenever I come across a new blog I'm interested in I always read everything before I hit follow

whysimstho replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

It was how I found your blog actually!

yamekamerainbows27 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have! ✋✋

elisabettasims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I feel like I read over 90% of it?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me. Was in love with Ross since he was born in game. He was such a lil cutie!!

desira-sims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Came across a Ross and Caleb post and went back to the beginning to read it all.

1o8percent replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have ��

Wooow there’s a lot of you. And you stuck with me through the bad and the worse, through all the dumb ideas I got...thank you. Seriously, thank you. There’s more in store, I promise.

You’ll want to punch me in the face eventually, I’m just saying.

Speaking of punching someone in the face, yesterday I was waiting for my hair to dry and I thought hmm, let’s go read gen 2 of my NSB. And...I knew Ross was an idiot when he was young, but I forgot he was that bad. I’m glad none of us accepted it and we only collectively forgave him when he got his crap together. Yay. Also yay we didn’t cancel him because cancel culture is disgusting, people can learn from their mistakes.

I’m going off topic again. That happens when I’m in a good mood.

elisabettasims replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

It's true, there is never enough.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

There is never enough

Glad we’re on the same page haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “��”

Yes, tumblr finally stopped bullying me and send my ask!

Yay tumblr, it got its crap together for once!

No, jokes aside, if you ever send me an ask and I don’t respond, feel free to send it again. I think I got better at answering my asks fast, so you can definitely tell by that. Also, if I answer everyone else’s and not yours...that’s also a sign because I hardly ever keep asks private (unless I’ve been asked to do so, then I’ll always respect your wish!)

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “I have to catch a bus in like ten minutes but here’s what I’ve been...”

This hairstyle suits Ross!

It kinda really does?? It was also the closest I could get to his ts4 one haha.

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Contestant number seven has arrived! Talia: “Is everything alright?...”

god yeah as an experienced bc player i feel that, introductions take SO long and get SO annoying

I had an “ok I’m never doing this again” moment with literally every contestant because 1) it was taking forever and 2) making ten different and yet still entertaining dialogues was hard

And I write a lot so you’d say that would be easy for me, but nope :’D

doka-chan replied to your post “I don't know how many of you are interested in my book...”

Book recommendations are always a plus. Thank you ! :)

I like them too! Not only because, well, I get a book recommendation, but also because I’m always curious about what people read haha.

vintageplumbobs replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Not all of us have time for breakfast! I can’t be looking at that in the staff kitchen! People will riot! ����

Oh that’s right, forgive me tumblr, I have sinned

desira-sims replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

That is the sweetest thing ever. ������

dandylion240 replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

I love it ❤️

Thank you guys ;-; ♥ I loved writing this so much. It gave me that nice warm feeling inside, you know what I mean? They make me so happy! ;-;

wcif a vampire best friend that would eventually end up marrying me?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Every single post of Emerson bc was flagged and they weren’t nsfw either mostly

Yeah, this is so weird...I know people say it happens when the picture has a lot of “skintone” coloured pixels...but that’s not always the case with my flagged posts??

Also (I’ll never shut up about this)...why is there a female-presenting nipples rule when it clearly can’t ever tell female and male nipples apart? I’m just saying. And yes I get it, for AI it sure has to be difficult to tell such things apart but in my opinion that’s exactly why they should get rid of it and only incorporate it when it can tell it apart. Actually, hold on, nope. The nipple rule is stupid no matter what gender the nipple is.

And I’ve just used the word nipple more times than ever before in my nineteen-something years long life.

desira-sims replied to your photoset “Some more pictures of Aretha ♥”

She's so pretty

Thank you! ♥ I’m happy with how she turned out.

vintageplumbobs replied to your photoset “I did not forget about those townie makeovers! @epicvictoria suggested...”

That style really suits her. But then...maybe I’m biased...

I think it suits her way better than her original outfits too, but same, I might be biased...vintage/retro aesthetic is my jam.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

Looking good!

omiscanking replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

I'm scrEAMINGGGG

Haha thank you! I hope it’s a good kind of screaming :D

toxoplasmajuice replied to your post “Thoughts?”

screenshots are cool and all but i say if you wanna rely more on text then go for it! especially if you've figured out that taking all those screenshots is an obstacle for you - do what works best for you, you know?

doka-chan replied to your post “Thoughts?”

For me a story is up to its writer. I don't mind only one picture with a huge text, or the contrary a lot of picture with little to no text. As long as we got attached to the characters, it's not important, as long as it's progressing and understandable.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I don’t mind reading a lot of text. Pics are always second to the story to me.

desira-sims replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I sort of think there should be a balance. No, not everything needs to be shown as a ss, but it should be more than one photo for a wall of text.

Thank you for your feedback! I think it would be no more than one Word page of text. Which is a lot still but I think that’s the maximum I’d go for. And I mean, I’d show all the important moments. It’s just, I guess I don’t need ten different pictures of the same conversation when these people are just standing next to each other. And it doesn’t need to be split into ten different posts either.

I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.

deathflowertea replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

TS4 looks good on her! ��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

Cute!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

I love her!!

Thank you guys! I really like how she turned out too.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I'm thinking of starting something like "random facts about..." tags...”

I do love when people talk about their characters and stories! It makes OCs more real and all the small details are just adorable!

Me too. I want to know all the details. Tell me how you came up with this or that. Tell me what inspired you to do this. Tell me which song you associate with them. Tell me little things like what shower gel they’re using. I JUST LOVE OCS OKAY

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Nicky: “This is a tragedy. Can I burn my picture before anyone sees...”

me whenever i finish a drawing

big relatable mood

create-a-sim replied to your post “list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for...”

I love good lyrics as well ;)

I’ve recently found a lot of appreciation for lyrics that seem simple, but then you get into them or read some behind the scenes facts and realize they’re not as simple as they might seem. Then I feel like the person who wrote it is a genius.

ineptbubbles replied to your photoset “Could I ever get bored of her? Nope.  Could I ever get bored of making...”

Omgosh I love that shirt!!

Me toooo and I need one irl ;-; But I mean, I’ve told my sister so many times this week, maybe when my birthday comes around in December, she’ll remember and she’ll tell my parents I want it? :D I mean I could just ask them for that myself but I just know I’d be embarrassed for some reason.

mlpsimmer replied to your photoset “Roxanne: “Dad, what are you doing here?! You told me you were supposed...”

Your sims are gorgeous!

Thank you so muuuuch! ♥

desira-sims replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

These two. �� My heart. I just love them.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

I love this thank you ❤️

Same. They borrowed my heart, said they’d give it back and then ran away with it and I never saw it again. smh guys, stealing isn’t nice

And no, thank YOU for making me write this ♥

mlpsimmer replied to your post “Tumblr……..your protect-kids-from-seeing-nipples algorithm still isn’t...”

It happened to one of my drafts, which was never published. They were fully dressed, too! It's a little annoying.

Yeah, I just talked about this above in a reply to an older comment. It’s...ugh tumblr, what is u doing

#replies #volcanopasta #simlishprincess #tiny-tany-thaanos #dandylion240 #create-a-sim #1o8percent #desira-sims #aiseinei #medleymisty #xiapxls #whysimstho #yamekamerainbows27 #elisabettasims #toxoplasmajuice #doka-chan #vintageplumbobs #omiscanking #deathflowertea #alfalfalegacy #ineptbubbles #mlpsimmer

[cuddleslutloki]

2018 fics, a year in review

i’m a madman, but even my crazy ass probably won’t finish and post another fic in the last 6 hours of 2018, so here are all the fics i posted on ao3 this year, plus some thoughts on each!

Hemlock Honey and Silver

this was my last ever supernatural fandom fic. literally the end of an era for me since i was in the spn fandom for so damn long and wrote so much fic, about two-thirds of which has been orphaned on the archive at this point because i didn’t like the stories anymore lol. 

i do like that one, though, and i’m actually alright with it being my last ever spn/destiel fic

Fire In Your Veins

this was my first time posting thorki fic! i was so, so nervous about it, but everyone in this fandom is so chill and lovely. i still like this one, and i don’t think i write enough 69ing lmao. also this fic was obvs the start of something bigger bc. i mean. i’ve written so much damn fic now lol since i only started posting in june. i was worried that i wasn’t going to be writing anymore, or that i’d never be posting on ao3 again because it had been literally 2 full years between hemlock honey and silver and the fic that preceded it. then i fell into thorki and i started writing fic and it’s just been such a huge, huge thing. bc i’m also writing original stuff again for the first time in forever.

Underdressed and All Out of Time

a direct sequel to fire in your veins, i really like it. i felt like i was able to characterize loki fairly well in this one bc i was very insecure about the way i wrote loki when i started out

A Thousand Teeth, Yours Among Them

who doesn’t love a fic title from a hozier song? i remember writing this fic and wondering if it was any good and if my characterization was okay and still being nervous and insecure in my writing, but it’s been very well received so i kinda got my inner critic to stfu which is nice lol. i also really enjoyed doing this vignette style story

To Always Face the Sun

what if :) loki was happy :) and thor had his brother back :) lol i really liked writing this and having loki being such a little shit tbh. can we tell that i like a happy ending in fic?

Blue On Gold

so i wrote an arranged marriage fic where they never actually get married and it’s still 15.8k lmfao. also the return of the vignette style, which was fun bc i got to do short, impactful scenes and build the narrative with them. i remember sitting at my desk at work, on my phone, writing this fic, then coming home and editing on a damn tablet bc my laptop bricked earlier this year

the warmth of your doorway

i meant to capitalize the title but at this point i’ve decided to leave it lol. i really loved writing this bc i felt very confident in the way i was building the scenes and the detail i was able to incorporate. i feel like this is where i really kinda go my voice back and i start to come into my own, if that makes sense? one of my fave fics i’ve ever written tbh. there’s a longer ‘verse for this, but after i finished this fic i got too distracted by new projects to try and continue it lol

Tell Me

this was my first trans!loki fic and he’s a trans man, and god i love it. i’ve got another ftm loki story as a WIP in my gdocs bc this story showed me how much i fucking love writing trans characters, and i really enjoyed the dynamic i put into this fic. there’s a sequel planned lol it’s gonna be dirty

Interwoven

i still haven’t managed to ever find the post that inspired this damn fic and if you wonder whether that drives me up the wall the answer is yes (: and fun fact! i intentionally never describe loki’s genitals in this fic, bc i was picturing him as a trans guy since i’d just written tell me and now i have a massive obsession with writing trans romance and erotica

Tie Breaker

in this house we love and appreciate bottom thor!!! also i loved writing the sparring at the beginning. it makes me wanna write more fics w/ brutal fight scenes lol. thor’s slutty drunk cape outfit is iconic and i’m gonna read that comic just for that outfit honestly

Pretense of Subjugation

i became drunkenly obsessed with loki manspreading on the throne of asgard and this was the result. this was the first thorki fic of mine that i’d had beta’d and it was vastly, vastly improved by it. the tips @ktspree13 gave me when she helped with this fic have affected literally every single fic i’ve written since

Double and More

so this is not the first thorki fic i ever posted, of course, however it is the first i ever started writing. i got to the point where loki’s in thor’s lap and then i kinda blanked out and let the fic sit for like... 2 or 3 months? then i opened it back up and i was like “oh i like this i should finish this” which is why i don’t delete anything anymore bc there’s always a chance i’ll come back to it

Ringback Tone

y’all owe @thotki for the wondrous idea they presented in discord that ended up creating this fic. i think i wrote this fic in like 3 days bc of how much fun i was having with it. the dirty talk was my favorite thing to write in this and i remember distinctly having this [:< moment when i was daydreaming about it

Seldom All They Seem

there was an impromptu bottom thor day back on 20 oct and this fic was my contribution. we can never have enough time travel, can we? i remember i think i took like a four day weekend from work and part of my motivation was literally wanting to finish this fic in time to post it lmfao

Fluffy Thorki Sunday Ficlets

i started doing fluffy thorki sunday back when i was on bourbonbucky and i continued it here, and i’m proud that i’ve written at least 1 piece for fluffy thorki sunday every sunday since i started. i love doing fluff and smut, and honestly even when my mood has been shit, i’ve always felt motivated to try and improve it at least enough to write some nice fluff. i put all of these on ao3 once i moved blogs

Let Love Disrupt

this is another fic we owe to discord lmao. i remember posting this when i was either very drunk or very tired and having to keep going onto ao3 on my damn phone browser to correct minor shit, and some not so minor shit like a typo in the title bc at first it said “distrupt” and that’s why i only post when i’m awake and sober now lmfao

Without Fear

i love werewolves (: a whole bunch (: and this fic is something dirty and wonderful that i’m proud of and THERE’S ART bc @nekokat42 is a blessing and takes commissions. kot i love u :3

On the Other Side Like Always

i have a lot of feelings about this fic. there’s an entire future in this ‘verse that i would so love to write, but i’m stuck on where to go with it. as it stands i am satisfied with this as a story of thor and loki coming together, and a story about how loki does something out of desperation but is finally given something genuine and comforting in his life like he’s always deserved. THERE’S ART from the wondrous @boltplumart / @mrhiddles bc allie is perfect :]

Runaway

when i tell y’all i’m a trash gremlin king. i do have a thing for writing underage characters with adults (probs due to messy personal history lmfao ain’t gonna look at that too closely) and so writing this one was a fun little bit of self indulgence. also it’s dirty and really plays into codependency, which i always like writing bc it’s a fun thing to explore in fiction

Sunset Rhapsody

this fic. was supposed to be. two thousand words. at most. then thor smiled at me, as the writer, and was like “i want to own him” and we ended up with 11k of thor’s obsessive bs and loki being brutal. joking aside, i love this fic, i love what i did with it, i have an original story i wanna write for my size kink anthology that will follow a similar thread to this one. also that torture scene. i don’t recall if i ever properly wrote torture before, but this did kinda make me squirm a bit when i was writing it and if you’ve read it you know precisely which scene i’m talking about lmfao

Right to Guard

this fic was honestly very emotionally satisfying for me in a pretty visceral way. writing thor just surrendering to love and spoiling the fuck out of loki was pretty damn cathartic. 

A Bite of Lamb

me making sure i never lose my title as a trash gremlin king. honestly writing thor’s POV in this fic was like >.> at myself a couple times bc it felt distinctly dark in a way i’d never written another character. a very, very unhealthy kind of obsession and this twisted logic where he’s trying to make it all okay. i really fucking love this damn fic tho and i’m happy with how it came out. 

Seamless

i was so, so frustrated and pissed off at work that i needed to let that shit out, so that was channeled into this very guilt-ridden turned tender fic, and i really enjoyed writing it. loved writing thor taking care of his baby sister. also! KOT IS FUCKING AMAZING and drew this bc they’re such a good fucking person ;A; like they sent me a message and just said “really liked this scene” and i was D Y I N G and i still am. thank you again, kot!

The Way A Rose Blooms

this was written for the thorki secret santa exchange! i drew @chickcheney and honestly the list of prompts was so, so good. bottom thor, arranged marriage, semi-public sex and trying not to be caught, body worship. i was like “damn did i draw myself wtf” bc that is all up my alley. 

Sugar Cookie

i honestly could not think of a better fic to finish off 2018 for me than sugar cookie. porn and emotions that’s all this is, but it features loki as a trans woman being loved and appreciated as she is with nothing extra expected of her and it was so satisfying to write. it makes me want to write original romance with trans women, which i’ll definitely do bc i loved writing this hungry and tender story and i’m very happy with how i ended it. 

so that was 2018 for me! 

#baylen fic

[bretthowden]

hi il your gifs! can you give a tutorial??

Wow thanks so much! 💖💖Under the read more, I managed to put together a gif tutorial that I (hope) makes sense. Let me know if you have any questions. I rambled a lot in this and wrote most of it at like 1:30 in the morning, so apologies in advance if it gets weird lmao.

Keep in mind, I have been using photoshop for years, but I really have only been making gifs for like, 8 months and I still think I can improve in soooo many ways. But, that being said we all gotta start somewhere!

Let’s make a gif!

Alright, y’all. Let’s make a fucking gif. You will need:

Photoshop. Kind of a given lol. I use Photoshop CC 2018 and I pay 9.99 a month for the photoshop/lightroom package that you can get online from Adobe. I used to use a downloaded version that I found on tumblr for the longest time as well. So if you don’t want to pay monthly, there are free versions out there that work. Just download at your own risk!

A basic knowledge of photoshop. In this tutorial, I’m just gonna assume you have used photoshop before and know how to use its basic features. If not, I’d recommend finding some beginner photoshop tutorials to help you out! Also you can totally feel free to shoot me any questions if you need me to clarify anything, and I’ll do my best to answer them!

Patience and practice. Making gifs can be frustrating and tedious sometimes. If you don’t love what you’re making or aren’t having fun with it, it can be really difficult. I literally love making gifs for some weird reason, which is really the number one reason why I make them. Also, remember that every gif isn’t gonna come out perfect. I make so many gifs and then look back and think ugh that coloring was awful wtf was I thinking?? But it’s important to keep practicing and keep at it because that’s how you’re gonna get better!

Alrightyyyyy let’s get started!

STEP ONE: Download your video. You’re gonna need the video of whatever you’re trying to gif saved to your computer. If you’re giffing a video from youtube/social media or something, there are a bunch of different websites out there that will download videos for you. However, I’m a fucking weirdo and usually just screen record whatever I want to gif because I just think it’s easier. I use Quicktime to screen record which is included on Macs!

We’re gonna be making a gif of my angel rookie Brett Howden for this tutorial. I just screen recorded his postgame video that I wanted to use and saved it in 1080p.

[PRO TIP: Keep in mind, if you want your gifs to look nice and HQ, it starts with a high quality video, and that means, using videos that are 1080p. I very rarely will gif anything in 720p, unless it’s something I really really want to gif, and I def won’t use anything below 720p because it just looks really low quality no matter how much you try to edit it, imo.]

STEP TWO: Open photoshop and go to file -> import -> video frames to layer and this window will pop up

These are the settings I use. I choose selected range only so that it will only select what I want it to, and not the whole video. I also limit to every 2 frames because for the most part, using every frame is unnecessary. See those little toggle icons at the bottom of the screen that I’ve circled in red? Drag those around to select what part of the video you want to gif. Then click ok.

Here’s what you’ll get once you hit ok.

As you can see, your timeline with all your frames are on the bottom. On the right are all the layers!

STEP THREE: Select all the frames, and set your frame delay. The frame delay basically just controls how fast or slow your gif is gonna move.

Select all the frames and click on the bottom of one of the frames (where i’ve awkwardly circled in red) and you should get the dropdown menu shown above. Click other. I almost always choose 0.07 for my delay because it’s not too fast and not too slow and that’s how we want our gifs to look, right? 0.07 is a good starting point and you can always adjust slightly if need be. I wouldn’t recommend going below 0.05 because it’ll look way too fast.  

STEP FOUR: Convert that shit. We’re gonna convert to a video timeline by clicking the button in the lefthand corner of your timeline window. I’ve circled it in red. Make sure all your frames are still selected!

Then we’re gonna convert the layers for smart filters. This makes it easy to edit and color the gif because it’ll basically condense all the layers into one. Select all your layers and go to filter -> convert for smart filters. Bam, converted.

STEP FIVE: Crop and resize your gif!

Tumblr has specific dimension sizes that are pretty important when cropping your gifs, so you’ll have to decide what kind of gifset you’re making. If you’re making a gifset with just one gif across (example), the width needs to be 540px. If you’re making a gifset with two gifs across (example), the width needs to be 268px. The height doesn’t matter and can be whatever ya want!

For this gif of Brett I’m going to be cropping it to 540x270 (my personal standard gif size that I use for gifsets with one gif across). After that, go to image -> image size and adjust the width and height to 540x270.  

After all that crap, we’ve now got a very basic, unedited gif!

This gif looks okaaay, but looks kinda flat and plain and dull. Which brings us to……

STEP FIVE: The most important step, sharpening and coloring.

To sharpen your gif, go to filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen

I use the same settings as everyone on this website which is this:

This is what the gif looks like now. Brett is looking SHARP. 

Sharpening is so important and it’s literally the best like look at how much better this gif looks already!! But we still gotta color it.

Coloring is a different ballgame than sharpening. Everyone has their own preferences on how to color and what they want their gifs to look like. There’s no right or wrong way to do it imo, as long as you like the way they look! Some people like really bright, vibrant gifs with whites so bright they’ll blind ya, and some like gifs with more muted colors. My personal preference depends on what I’m giffing and the lighting. If you look through my gifs you’ll see that my coloring changes depending on if it’s an on-ice video, a locker room interview or something else.

When I first started making gifs, I downloaded different psds from tumblr, which are basically just colorings you can download and use on your gifs. They’re a really great starting point if you have no idea what you’re doing and also just super convenient. A quick google search “tumblr psds” “tumblr photoshop resources” or even just searching “psds” on tumblr, will give you tons of stuff to choose from.

Anyway, if you’re not gonna use a premade psd, the two biggest settings that I use to color (and as a beginner they’re really the only settings you need to use) are brightness/contrast and selective coloring.

First, we’ll add some contrast. Go to layer -> new adjustment layer -> brightness/contrast. For the most part, my brightness/contrast settings stay the same and look like this:

My contrast almost always is set to 60. I’m all about high contrast in my gifs. My brightness setting is set to 0 in this gif because it’s already bright enough (just look at the light reflecting off Brett’s forehead lmao) Oftentimes I’ll set the brightness to 10 or 11 if the gif seems too dull or dark, but I usually won’t go higher than that. Just play with the setting until it seems right to you!

This is what it looks like now:

Looks good! But it still looks pretty yellow and Brett’s face is still too bright. This is where selective coloring comes in. Selective coloring basically helps you enhance or change specific colors in your gifs. It comes in handy a lot with videos that have shitty or weird lighting (looking at you, Rangers video department). 

Go to layer -> new adjustment layer -> selective coloring. Like I said before, every gif is different so there’s no one specific way to set your selective coloring settings. My biggest thing with selective coloring is making sure the subject doesn’t look too yellow/red and enhancing the darker colors to create more depth/contrast. Play around with the colors until you like what you see!

And this gif is done! Brett looks beautiful and so does this gif. But we have one final step

STEP SIX: Save your gif.

To save your gif go to file -> export -> save for web (legacy) and this window will show up.

For your gif to work on tumblr the file needs to be under 3M otherwise when you post it, your gif will be frozen and won’t move and uh, that’s not ideal. The lower left hand corner will show you how large your gif is. Mine is 2.817M so we’re good.

Finally, please, please PLEASE make sure your looping options (found in the lower righthand corner) are set to forever.

If you don’t have your gif set to loop forever it literally will stop moving, so it’s real important you remember to check that it’s set to loop forever. One time I forgot to do that and now there’s a dumb gifset of Nolan Patrick that only loops once and then freezes and I didn’t notice it until it already got a bunch of notes and it’s just out there on fucking tumblr dot com and it drives me crazy and makes me so mad that I forgot to loop it. So don’t be like me and remember to loop your gifs! lol.

Anyway that’s the tutorial! I hope this helped! Again, sorry it’s so long and full of rambles. Remember you can ask me ANY questions you may have and I’ll do my best to help! 

#asks #anonymous #gif tutorial #photoshop tutorial #i really hope this helped! #i probably rambled too much #long post

[byunrelatable]

ok on the ask game, 5 + 19 !! this is gonna get long bear with me oof. i’ve confessed to two people, one was a boy that i was once close with but he ignored me after we broke up :”) it’s fine he’s an ass anyway. but the second person is my current gf and holy uh this is actually kinda personal so i won’t go too in depth but we can say i did it bc it was too much not to anymore (pt 1/?)

.hi kam!! i love u thanks for the asks and thanks for sharing your story!! im really glad things worked out with you and your gf, sounds like you two have truly been through thick and thin together, you must have a very strong bond. that makes my heart feel very warm, im so happy for you!!

im going to put the rest of your asks, as well as my responses to the questions, under the cut so this doesnt become a super long post. to answer 5 and 19 in short, i will say that my answer to 5. have you ever confessed your feelings to someone? is yes, and its an embarrassing story, it also involves underage drinking so anyone uncomfy with that should not look under the cut!! and my answer to 19. share a positive memory about the last person you texted, i’ll probably keep that answer pretty short but true to my word, everything is going under the cut from here on out. thank you for sharing your story kam

send me two way asks!!

here’s the rest of kam’s asks:

we didn’t date then bc things were complicated (like i said, pERSONAL) and i,,,, did it a second time with her months later,,,,, i wouldn’t have if my friends didn’t push me to do it but they did annnddd we started dating then!! and haaaaa i uh,,,, did it once more at the end of feb this year,,,,,, bc we weren’t together at the time (this is also very personal so i could tell you abt the whole thing privately if you wanted) (pt 2/?)

in short i woke up and she asked me to be her gf again sOo, lol it’s all fun. aaannnddd here we go okay i literally just texted my gf as i write this oof but i think one of the fondest memories i have is both kinda negative but i view it positively? it was around the end of january in 2016 and we had been talking for a month or so. at the time i wasn’t in the best state of mind. (pt ¾)

i don’t remember the conversation word for word, but i have recollection of crying a lot at school waiting for my exam and just realizing how much i cared abt her and her about me and i think that marks the moment we became best friends rlly and damn who would even think to get to where we are now oof not me?? (pt 4/4 i went all out i’m sorryajsndnf)

what a story!!! like i said before, im really glad it all came together in the end, and that you have such a wonderful supportive gf

5. have you ever confessed your feelings to someone? yeah okay. from seventh grade until 11th i had a huge crush on this boy in my class. he was always doing crazy cool exchange programs. in 8th grade he went to school in coasta rica for a year, we e-mailed (lmao) all the time while he was gone. he came back in 9th grade and i was so so excited to see him again. he left again in 10th grade, and that was a hard year for me. my dad and step mom (who practically raised me) were getting divorced and i was going through some weird shit with an older guy (gross. he’s gross and predatory and i didnt know better cause i was like 15/16). so i started drinking and sneaking out and partying. 

the kid i had a crush on came back in 11th grade and i was ecstatic. we picked up our friendship where we left it off. but here’s the kicker: he was (and probably still is? but probably isnt as much of a hardass about it) a devout christian, and drinking was NOT in line with his values. he had heard from his mom that i had been doing stuff like that, and he brought it up and said he was concerned. i told him i’d stop, because i was young and i had had a crush on this kid for over four years at this point, and our mutual friend kept dropping hints that he was interested, and.. sigh. so i told him i’d cut the partying and he said he had to see it. fast forward to spring, i applied and got into a program which sends students to japan for two weeks, and this kid also got in, and i was STOKED to be in japan with him for two weeks. the first week it was fun. our last night in tokyo, i wanted to spend some time alone with him, and the rest of our friends were planning to buy some sake (we were literally 16 but they did it, they didnt get carded) and drink it at the hotel, and they wanted me to distract him cause they were worried he’d rat them out, and i was so down to try that because i wanted to spend time with him anyways. so i asked if he wanted to go on an adventure–just go get on a random subway line and see where it leads. he kinda blew me off, which stung. then in an effort to get him to hang out with me, i told him what the other kids were planning (they had specifically told me not to tell him). i told him, and said “so i really think we should just go somewhere else so we dont have to be around that.” he didnt listen to me, instead he followed the rest of the group into the convenience store and they were like uhhh, then he went up to my friend hannah and was like “so you’re buying sake huh?” and she looked at me like what the fuck arianna and i looked at her like im sorry i couldnt get him to come with me and he was like whatever and then he left the convenience store and our other friend jay went with him. i assumed they went back to the hotel. so i went back as well but they werent there. when i asked someone else where they were, they said “oh, they went out into the city on a random subway line just to go on an adventure!” the literal exact thing i had suggested. i was livid. moreso, i was really hurt. so i decided to say fuck it and get drunk, cause i had been abstaining from alcohol ALL YEAR for the sake of this ONE GUY who had really played me and led me on ALL FUCKING YEAR and lowkey for the past FOUR YEARS. so i was like, whatever. so i got drunk. then jay and the guy came back from their adventure. i asked my other drunk companions if i seemed sober (bad, bad idea. they were not good judges) they all said i seemed fine, so i went to give the kid a piece of my mind. get to his room and its just him cause his roommate had been with us in the drinking room. so i say, hey i need to talk to you. the first thing he asks is if i had drank, and i said no, like a liar with a big fat crush. then we sit down on opposite beds, and i told him i was really hurt that he rejected my offer to go on an adventure and immediately did the same thing with jay. he gave me a bs excuse like “it was kinda spontaneous” and i was like, thats bullshit. then i poured out my heart, about crushing on him for the last four years, about being a good friend when he dated hannahkate in seventh grade, about always waiting for him to come back, about working so hard to stop drinking just to be the person he wanted me to be. and i told him i loved him.

his response? “thank you for telling me.” and it shattered my heart.

when he walked me to the door of his room, he said “by the way. you were slurring the whole time, and your breath smells like alcohol. i knew you had drank from the start.” needless to say, THAT was embarrassing.

i go back to the room, drink more, eventually everyone leaves and its me and hannah. i tell her what happened, freak out a bit, cry.

the next day we woke up kinda early and went to this man-made island place i dont remember the name of, and we spent the day there. i was really quiet and reserved all day (not like me, then or now). i did not eat. when we got back to the hotel that night, hannah gave me a melon bread, and i said i wasnt hungry. she said “you havent eaten all day. if you dont eat this right now, im going to take your phone, delete [kid’s name] from all your contacts, delete every picture or video you have on your phone, erase him from your life. do you want that?” to which i said, no. and i ate the bread. it was tough love and i needed it. i was a little better the next day.

a few days later in kyoto the kid and i talked on a rooftop at sunset. i felt a little better after that. it was hard going through all of that, after four years of pining for him, but.. it was good. it was closure. i laid my cards on the table, i finally told him how i felt, and he rejected me. and it hurt, but there was nothing left to say, and it finally closed that door that had been slightly ajar for four years. and i was able to move on after that, fairly quickly actually. jumping back into partying cause i didnt have someone to impress kind of helped. well, it also kind of spun my life off in a horrible direction that led to a horrible depressing senior year of high school, but thats another story.

yeesh, that was long. on to the next one!!

19. share a positive memory about the last person you texted the most recent person i texted is my friend named nico. the first memory that comes to mind is last summer, we used to hang out a lot, one night we went to this 24 hour diner called beth’s cafe that we both love. we went at like 4 am and it was so so so fun. afterwards we watched emperors new groove in his bed and then passed out. i love nico so much. we used to be a lot closer in the summer, but at the end of summer i fucked up and we had a falling out. we still are friends and we still talk (i.e. we texted today planning to hang out this week) but.. its not the same. and i really miss the way things were before. golly isnt that bittersweet. now im a lil sad. but thats okay

thank you to anyone who read all that garbage uidsgfihjs

#asks #lovely mutuals #GOSH my confession story is LOOONG

[the-last-airbadger]

My 2017

The end of the year is in sight, and so it is time to, once again, write a long post in which I look back on the past year and get all sentimental and stuff. It’s fun! And since I’ve kinda made an annual tradition out of it, why the fuck not?

I’m gonna be using the same questions/categories as I did last year for maximum comparison (and so I know what to write about), so if you want to read last year’s post, I’ll link it here: (x)

The Beginning of 2017 vs. Now I definately think that there’s a huge difference between the beginning of the year and the end. When this year started, I was sooooo busy with school. I had multiple test weeks coming up and I was behind on almost all my subjects. The stress of all that stuff caused me to feel really unhappy, and apart from that my transition also wasn’t really moving forward. And now? Now I’m five months on T, finished with school, and even though work is still stressfull at the moment and I’m still not really happy, I can say that I’m a lot happier than I was at the beginning of the year. I also feel like at the beginning of the year I was kinda stuck in a negative mindset. I felt lonely all the time, and I had just started to realise that I was a very insecure person and I felt really lonely and busy and isolated and I just wasn’t in a good place, ya know? And I feel like in the past year I’ve become better at dealing with my insecurities and with jealousy, which has increased the value I have of myself, which has definately improved my quality of life. 

So, to summarise it: Since the beginning of the year I’ve reached multiple of my goals, reached some milestones and, most importantly, I’ve grown as a person.

Best things about 2017 So many good things happened this year! I don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll try to start with things that happened at the beginning of the year and just see where it leads me. I hope I won’t forget anything lmao.

Okay, so first of all, Voltron season 2, 3 and 4 were all released this year! Three seasons! That’s crazy! I didn’t really enjoy the last two that much, but damn, season 2 was really fun! Other tv shows that got new seasons this year were Stranger Things, Doctor Who (I can’t believe I’ve only finished the tenth doctors seasons this year! I can’t believe I’ve not been into Doctor Who for more than a year! It’s so much funn!!!!), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (which reminds me, I started watching “the good place” this year! Amazing show!), and Sense8! Speaking of sense8, I only started watching it in the beginning of this year, and it has easily become one of my favourite shows ever! I’m so glad I got to watch this show this year! 

Then in february, I discovered the band One Ok Rock, which is one of my favourite bands at the moment. It’s crazy to think I haven’t even known them for a year, because they’ve become such an integral part of my music library. And so have Lindsey Stirling and Ed Sheeran by the way! I went to a Lindsey Stirling concert in March and have become a huge fan of her latest album “brave enough” ever since then. And Ed Sheeran’s album “Devide” had some amazing songs on it that I connected with instantly and have helped me through some hard times. I really can’t believe I’ve only been listening to these songs for like nine months or something. It feels like it’s been forever. The same goes for a certain musical genre by the way, but we’ll get into that later!!

Then in may, two amazing things happened, first of all I got to perform on a huge stage with my choir, and met some famous dutch people there! Roel van Velzen for example! That was crazy! We were on TV!!! 

The second thing is, I finished my exams and was done with school! This made me feel sooooo much happier. I instantly just felt a lot better and suddenly had time to do stuff I liked, like read and write and play the piano. Honestly, those months (end of may - end of august) were some of the best months I’ve had in a loooong time. I wish I could go back sometimes lmao.

So yeah, I graduated, turned eightteen, went to Ireland for the first time. All of that stuff was amazing. Then, on the 28th of june, I went to the hospital and got one of the best surprises I’ve ever gotten. I COULD FINALLY, FINALLY, GO ON T! If I had to pick my best day of the year, I’d probably choose this day. Testosterone has already improved my life so much and I’ve only been on it for five months. I can’t imagine how much it will change me in the next year and I also can’t wait to find out!!

Oh, and after that, I GOT INTO KPOP! I started really listening to Day6 during my vacation to ireland, but around the end of august/beginning of september, I started to get really really into SHINee, and in extention, to kpop. Honestly, this might sound dramatic, but Day6 and SHINee have added so much to my life. Their music and just their personalities never fail to make me smile, and they bring me comfort when I feel down. Since a few weeks, BTS has also been added to that list. Their music and the members just really mean a lot to me, so I’d say kpop is definately one of the best things that happened to me this year. 

Then I got a job in september, and I can’t really remember if anything big has happened since then. The only thing I can really think of is I SAW JACKSEPTICEYE LIVE! That evening was such a fun evening and it was awesome to finally get to see one of my heroes in person and to be in the same room with him and see that he’s actually real, haha. I don’t think I’ve screamed that much anywhere else this year. 

Oh, and I also went to my first pride this year! Sadly, I couldn’t stay there very long because of work, but it was amazing and I can’t wait to go again!

I also started my youtube channel this year, which is cool. I really love making content for it, but unfortunately it takes a lot of time that I usually don’t have. I hope I’ll be able to keep it up for another year!

So, I think that’s it for this year. If you look at it like this it’s actually quite a lot of positive stuff! That’s always good.

OH AND HOW COULD I FORGET I went to london with my mom this year! It was only two nights but it was amazing and I had loads of fun there! 

And another thing I wanted to add is I feel like I’ve become a lot closer with my friends this past year. I guess that’s just what happens when you know them for a year longer, but idk. We see eachother a lot less than last year and despite that we’ve only become closer and I think that’s a really amazing thing.

OH, and I started to watch the You’re So Brave podcast by Chase Ross & Aaron Ansuini and oh my god have these dudes helped me a lot in the past year. Thank you guys so so much!!!

My resolutions for 2017? I haven’t looked at my resolutions for this year since I posted them last year... oops. But I remember quite a few of them and I believe I’ve achieved some of them so I’m just going to copy-paste them here and adress them all individually

Go on Testosterone, for real this time - Did that!! I went on T on the 28th of July 2017 and am now Five months and Three days on T!

Write more! - .... well I guess I failed that one. I wrote exactly four pages in the past year

Save money and buy new jeans, flannels and hoodies - I did save money, and bought my favourite flannel, hoodie and jeans this year, so I guess that counts

Finish School! - DID THAT

Read a lot of books! - Sadly, I didn’t manage to achieve my reading goal on goodreads. I only read 22 books this year when I wanted to read 35. Last year, I read about the same amount, so I’d count this as a fail.

Stay Hydrated! - Idek if I did this lmao. I did become more aware of what I’m eating and what I should eat more and less to stay healthy, so I’m going to count this as a win

Try to make my tumblr blog a safe and positive place for everyone - I’ll let you guys be the judge of that

Stay positive - I’ve definately tried this, so that’s good enough

Try to be the best person I can be - I’ve become a lot more self aware the past year, and I did find out what my flaws were and how to work on them, so I think I did this.

Fight my insecurities - As I’ve stated in the beginning of this post, I think I’ve become better at dealing with them, so I’d say yeah, I did that!

Reach 200 followers on tumblr!! - Did that! I’ve got about 280 followers now!!

So yeah, overall I think I did pretty good in the past year! Better than I expected at least haha

Expectations for 2018 Okay, let’s see. I’m expecting I’ll keep my job until around june/july. I’ll turn nineteen in june, and I’m going to see Paramore, Markiplier, Ed Sheeran and Dan and Phil live this year! Really looking forward to that!! Then in september I’m going to start university, and I think that I’m going to have Top-Surgery somewhere between september and december of this year. Apart from that I don’t really know what to expect. I think university will be quite easy for me education-wise, and hard social-wise, since I’m not good around strangers and might have some slight social anxiety. But apart from that I don’t really have a clear vision for the future. I am probably going to start learing how to drive so I might get my driver’s liscence this year. Who knows? It’ll be a mystery until I’ve lived it guys.

2018 Resolutions? I am feeling ambitious rn so I’m probably gonna set the bar too high but oh well who cares let’s do this

Finally decide what to study

Get Top-Surgery

Write at least 100 pages of a story

Accomplish my reading challenge on goodreads (I’m gonna try 35 books again)

Start University

Make new friends

Stop with my acting classes

Learn how to drive

Improve my drawing skills (maybe make a comic?)

Reach 300 followers on Tumblr

Get more than 20 subs on Youtube and consistently create content for my channel

Learn Divenire on the Piano

Dye my hair

Continue to shower every day (Hygene is important!)

Start working out/exercising regularely

Get new glasses

And yeah, that’s it! I hope you’ve all enjoyed going along on this journey through my past year with me. Looking back on the past year is always one of my favourite parts of new year’s eve. It’s so good to look back and see all that you’ve accomplished in a year and it just makes me really sentimental and stuff and I like that. 

Anyways, I hope you all have a great evening, and I’ll see you guys next year!

#personal #idk how else to tag this lol