"how did we end up like this?" (heeseung x reader)
genre: angst to fluff word count: 1k requested by nonnie ♡
a/n: ahhh i almost forgot how much i love writing angst and arguments 🤍 like i've said before, i wasn't planning on ending this on a happy note but i folded because... well, it's hee lmfao
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Your head is pounding from all the screaming and crying you've let out today.
Biting down on your lip harshly, you turn your head to the side to hide the tears forming in your eyes from your boyfriend. Eyeing the duffle bag you've laid out on your shared bed, you start throwing the messily folded clothes inside it.
"W-Wait, what are you-," Heeseung stops himself as he chokes on his own breath. With heart dropping into the deepest pit of his stomach, he walks up to you and grabs your elbow gently. He tries to ignore the way that your body stiffens underneath his touch but the sharp aching in his chest really makes it difficult. "Stop, please. That's not necessary, love."
"Oh, I think it's very necessary," you murmur with a sniffle, using the back of your hand to wipe the tears from your face.
Heeseung tries to move in front of you but you jerk your arm out of his touch and shake your head at him.
"Baby, don't. You know I didn't mean what I said–"
"I know," you interrupt him, trying to calm your shaky breath. "I know," you repeat, softer this time, "It's not that, Heeseung."
"Then what is it?" He asks, slightly dreading your answer as he watches your eyes widen with disbelief.
"Oh, c'mon now. All we ever do is fight all the goddamn time. We can't even go two days without getting to each other's throats. It's not healthy anymore, you've surely noticed that." Your trembling fingers attempt to stuff another shirt into your duffle bag but when another wave of hot tears blurs your vision completely, you give up on this task for and bury your face in your hands. "How did we even end up like this? When? We were always so good together. So why?"
"I'm sorry." Even though Heeseung's head is filled to the brim with running thoughts, this is the only thing he's able to come up with.
Hurting you was never the slightest possibility for him yet now he's standing seemingly frozen, watching the love of his life collect their stuff and about to leave him forever – and all he can do is try to figure out the answer to your question. Because, really, when has it all started going downhill? Heeseung could swear in a heartbeat that there's never been anyone who could make him happier than you do – and probably no one ever will, and yet he starts wondering whether convincing you to stay with him would only cause you more pain.
"You don't have to apologize for anything," you sniffle again, hands moving quickly to zip your bag. "We're both at fault here. No need to kick yourself down because of it, you know? Sometimes it just.... happens."
And he can't say anything because you're right. He can't say anything because there's absolutely nothing on his mind that could somehow make this situation better. He can't say anything because if he does, he'll only hurt you more and he can't have that when his heart is already this heavy with guilt.
So he watches helplessly as throw the bag over your shoulder, not sparing him even one look as you make you way out of the bedroom with your head hanging low, thick teardrops leaving a trace on the floor as you go. You're walking down the stairs and it'll be only a matter of seconds before you leave him and without even knowing how much he fucking loves you you'll be gone from his life.
With that thought and the fact that Lee Heeseung is a selfish man whose heart always has more control over him than his mind, he drops every single shred of reason and rushes down the stairs, long legs nearly tripping on the wooden steps.
He pushes his arm forward in the last second, shutting the door close just as your hand reaches the doorknob.
He's breathless, wide eyes looking at you with panic. "Don't go."
"Heeseung, I–," you stutter out, mind stalling as his warm hands come up to cup your wet face, fingers wiping your cheeks with the tenderness and affection that you've lacked so much for the past week.
And when he starts littering small, quite desperate, kisses all over your face, you can't help but cave into his touch, the duffle bag hitting the floor as it slides down your shoulder.
"Don't leave, baby," he pleads, hugging you even closer, even tighter when your tears seem to never come to an end. "Don't leave me, please. We'll fix it, we always do. I'll be better, I promise."
Your arms come up around his middle, fingers clenching on the fabric of his worn out t-shirt as you can't do anything else but cry in his embrace. He presses a kiss to your wobbly lips coated with salty tears, then another one and a next one after that.
"You're it for me, YN. I need you with me. By my side," he mumbles into your skin, his warm kisses never ceasing and successfully bringing comfort to your weeping heart. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," you nearly whisper, words strangled with your tightened throat. He makes your head spin but you have no time to wonder if it's in a good or a bad way as his tongue makes its way inside your mouth, causing all of your thoughts to disappear within a mere second. "So much," you mutter into the kiss, hands coming up to run through his thick hair.
"Then stay with me, hm?" You nod your head quickly, tugging his neck closer as he pulls away from you slightly. "Yeah?" He needs you to confirm your statement before he gets his hopes too high and gets his heart broken in two. "You're not gonna leave me?"
And the another firm nod of your head is all that he needs, breath stuttering for a second before he draws you even closer in his arms and lets you pull his face to yours again, molding your lips together and willing to leave the scarring argument in the past to give your mending relationship yet another chance.
permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @satoruskitchenrag @ramenoil @jenjnk @jaylaxies @yoongspi
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proxies receiving oral headcanons
Pairing: Toby x reader, Tim x reader, Brian x reader
notes: made a twitter if anyone wants to follow! requests open
Tim:
Prefers to be sitting in a chair while you blow him. It makes him feel in charge and he loves seeing you on your knees in front of him. If he’s feeling nice, sometimes he will let you hump his leg as you suck him.
Definitely is a head pusher, just depends on how the day went. If he’s in a bad mood he wants you to sit there and stay still while he uses you to throat fuck. If it’s been a good day he will just lazily sit there and let you go at your own pace.
Will degrade you the whole time right up until he cums. He wants you to know how pathetic you are for this and how shameful it is. Just will say anything to prove that he has dominance over you.
"You're such a slut for me, so eager to swallow my cum."
“Imagine what the others would think if they saw how much of a whore you are right now.”
Loves cumming on your face and leaving a mess on it. He views it as degrading and marking you as his. He takes photos of his cum dripping off your face, and will show them proudly to anyone who dares to question your relationship.
Isn’t really big on aftercare, just will get up and go about this day as normal. You can deal with having to clean up your face after him.
Brian:
Prefers to be standing while you suck him off so he can see you on your knees and how small you look under him. He will stroke your hair as you struggle to fit all of his length into your mouth.
Really big into seeing your makeup get ruined and run down your face as your eyes well up with tears. He loves seeing how far you will push yourself to make him happy, willing to go as far as crying just so you can deepthroat all of him.
He just has a cry kink in general tbh.
Will compliment and praise you during it, telling you how pretty and good you are doing.
“You’re doing so good for me baby, just a little longer.”
Loves cumming in your mouth, he thinks it's cute to watch you struggle to swallow all of it as some spill out from your lips.
Sometimes before he cums he will grab your hair with one hand to make a makeshift ponytail, using his grip to throat fuck you as his tip abuses the back of your throat.
He makes it up after by praising you while peppering your face and neck in kisses. Also will bring you any drinks or food you want afterwards.
Toby:
Prefers to be sucked off while laying down, this allows him to be able to play and pinch your nipples since he loves feeling you moan around his cock.
Loves when you gag on him and the way your throat tightens up around him. When you struggle to breath around his dick it gives him an ego boost.
He will wrap his hands deeply into your hair. He won’t push your head down or throat fuck you, he just loves feeling the grip he has on you.
If you look up at him and maintain eye contact, he won’t last for long. He thinks it’s hot to see how innocent your eyes look while your lips remain wrapped around him and your cheeks hollowed out.
Doesn’t dirty talk much but lets out breathy moans often, soft grunts escaping him as his mouth remains open. Curses under his breath as he gets closer to cumming.
If he’s trying to prolong cumming he will bite down on the inside of his cheek, making the gash near his mouth bigger and bigger.
Doesn’t really care where he cums, if it’s in your mouth or on your face. Also doesn’t care if he’s dominant or not, he just likes to see your lips wrapped around him he doesn’t care how it has to happen.
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Answers to "please stop"
No.
I can't.
I won't.
I don't want to.
I don't know how.
I will soon.
But then how will you learn?
We're almost done.
It's almost over.
Ask me again!
Oh well, if you're asking that politely…
Fine. For now.
Only once I've come up with something more fun.
Only once you've come up with something more fun.
Or what?
I know you can go a little bit longer.
You know I won't.
I love it when you beg.
I hate it when you beg.
I'm so bored by your begging.
Not until you're too weak to ask me to.
But I don't have anything better to do.
I wish I could.
Alright! See? All you had to do was ask nicely.
I'm not doing anything.
What, exactly?
Just once more, I promise!
Just once more, I promise! (🤞)
You're doing this to yourself.
You wanted this.
You want this.
You know you made me do this.
Are you ready to give me what I want, then?
I will once you give in.
What will you give me in return?
Why should I?
You know there is only one way to end this.
You know there is only one way this will end.
(Answers to "it hurts")
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