#got me all emotional and everything

[mettywiththenotes]

Ngl this episode restored half of my broken faith in Bones

#im still a little skeptical #given the fact that its literally just the first episode #but everything looks amazing so far! #miruko tearing the noumus to shreds #AND THE WAY SHE BURST THROUGH THE WALL #present mic's moment!!! #and the ED alone is enough to make me think everything's going to be great #watching that ED made me think 'yes! this is how it's supposed to be!' #got me all emotional and everything #i can't wait to see how everything else is handled #and atm i can't WAIT to see miruko going feral! #bnha #bnha season 6 #mha #mha season 6 #mettys posts

[satoruhour]

a/n: jjk 236 spoilers, mentions of suicide from reader’s side, no comfort, cry. around 1.4k. tagging @jabamin @hyomagiri @saiki-enthusiast @arminsumi @shotorus @satohruu so yall can suffer w me

the first signs of grief manifests in you when there’s a bright light that signifies gojo’s disperse of cursed energy, the familiar hollow purple that obliterates half the buildings around the two strongest sorcerers — one from the heian and the other one from our times. surely, your lover wouldn’t do something as foolish as involving himself with the blast, but gojo satoru is always one to take risks.

when he took up the job of taking care of megumi and tsumiki at just eighteen years old and providing all the things they needed to fluorish. gojo is risky as he convinces a kid with a terrifying curse to make some friends and learn about cursed energy. he sometimes puts himself in danger when he takes up more missions he can shoulder just to show the higher-ups that he can kill them any time.

gojo satoru has the world of jujutsu in his hands; how his birth had changed the trajectory of the society, altered the balance of the world and now—

“satoru!” you call out once the smoke clears and he’s still there, intact, smiling a sick smile like the many times you’ve seen him done at megumi and after burning french toast. you brief a sigh of relief and the pounding of your heart calms down momentarily before sukuna emerges and he’s missing a hand and a leg and your heart pulls lower and lower seeing the kid you raised be such a ragdoll for sukuna’s entertainment. but there was always the hope to isolate the king of curses’ soul and save megumi somehow. shoko and you had discussed it, you know it to be true, it has to be true, until there’s a sharp noise that cuts through your ear drums.

it’s high-pitched, like a flash of light that shines in your eyes too abruptly and you have to cover them. but it blinds you as much as it deafens; an attack from god knows which end and you swear you hear the reaper’s scythe.

gojo thinks you look beautiful like this; hand on your cheek and head in your hand as you watch him and the melodic sounds of the knife hitting the cutting board. you’re so concerned about him cutting his hand again that you’ve dragged your chair all the way into the kitchen to watch him closely, which was counterintuitive; the whole reason why he had bled in the first place was because he was looking at you so much.

he admires the way you curl into yourself on the beanbag in the apartment, a book on your lap on how to get to know your teenager better, hair falling over your eyes and the reading lamp not even helping that much in illuminating the words. gojo skims over your features and the way your chest breathes slowly, like everything good in the world. he hopes he’s able to get that with you in this life, for as long as he lives.

you feel it before you see it in the screens that the fight is broadcasted from — something is missing. a light has switched off, satoru has stolen the blanket at night and left you freezing again, seeing your favourite snack missing from the fridge. and you run. past the students you’ve raised, past the bright blinding screens and into the battlefield, past the debris and each crunch of cement under your feet brings a fresh bout of tears to your eyes. the tokyo winter is cool, snow starting to slowly fall upon you and the saltiness on your face seem to crystallise and harden and you’re not even sure any more. there’s a tingling feeling in your feet, in your finger tips and a pull of your heart. you know where gojo is before you see him.

“s— satoru…” you mumble, eyes welling up with more tears when his bottom half stays standing, baggy pants stained with red, red and more red and you’ve never hated a colour like you do now. you hate it, you hate it, you hate it even when he’s proposed to you with a red velvet box and gotten you valentine’s day chocolates in that same darker red and there is just too much blood.

and then it’s like the hierarchy of grief doesn’t matter any more. all those articles you’ve read preparing yourself after gojo’s fated meeting with death at sixteen, and then after shibuya — you think you can’t handle any more of the collecting and patching up and crying and headaches and holding a finger up to your chest and hoping you’d kill yourself with your own technique. the only time you’d accept the absence of the bright blue on his face is when he was sleeping and his chest moved with even breaths, not like this.

not like this. 

“satoru—” your voice cracks and you cannot even see. tears and tears and mucus and the fresh crunch of snow under your feet as you step closer to his severed body.

“baby…” he mumbles, barely above a whisper, hand twitching and reaching out in the direction of your voice because this is infinitely worse than getting stabbed in the neck by toji fushiguro, perhaps a little worse than seeing your best friend of your high school life get manipulated by a cursed user. satoru wants to demote all of that and say that seeing you stumble to your knees in front of him while you hyperventilate and sob hurts the most. 

“d-don’t move, ’toru, we— we’re going to get you b-back, okay?” you’re playing with god now. “shoko!” the doctor stifles a sob at your cry, broken up by the feedback of the sound system. she knows you’re trying to defy god.

“i don’t think—” the light is slowly dying. the world’s light, the student’s light, your dawn and dusk. “m-my love, everything is…”

“satoru, please, you need to—!” they say the last sense to go is touch and hearing. you crouch to his face to see him react to your warmth, eyes moving an inch to where he thinks you were and puts all of his cursed energy into one hand just so he could hold your cheek. you, warm as always as the sun and everything good in the world, a new rush of warmth overtaking his hand when your tears flow over his battered, tired hands, the same hands that has drawn over his love time and time again over your body and you are a canvas made of gojo satoru’s endless, unconditional ardour.

“i-i’m…” it fades out, his voice box is almost gone and you wail again and the snow from below wets your knees. his name is all that leaves your lips and you think if you can’t play god, you can only beg, even if your religion is solely gojo satoru.

“no, no, no no nono, satoru, c’mon, baby, stop it!” you scream in his face, words all mushed together when you feel the breath of life leave his chest, the blues die out in his eyes, “i love you, i love you, darling, i love you—” your lover barely manages to muster a small smile and you scramble all over his chest, clutching at the tattered black t-shirt and his hand that is starting to go cold and he has the energy to mutter out a stupid remark like gojo satoru always does.

“i’m sorry i got y-your favourite outfit stained with red, princess…” satoru whispers and that breaks the dam fully. you sob and groan and cry and wail until your voice is hoarse and you cannot speak any more and gojo wants nothing but to full heal himself again just so he could stop your crying. perhaps hold your face in his hands and kiss your forehead and nose and lips and embrace you until you couldn’t breathe. perhaps even to tell you he loved you more than anything and everything; more than poems and that foolish line he just had to say at the end and kikufuku and waking up next to you.

but in what world will gojo satoru ever get repose and a normal life? you hope for every other universe to have him be a preschool teacher, or maybe a florist, or even a superstar. but not in this one, no.

the hand that caressed your cheek is replenished again with cursed energy.

satoru gives you three squeezes.

#rest well satoru 💟 #you fought well really #shucks this shit got me emotional like u rlly didnt deserve to be fighting so hard alone #be the strongest and get the burden of being untouchable 😭 #and having no one to turn to .... sigh :( he deserves everything & more #at least hes together with his friends up there. he deserves all the rest he can get for fighting so hard 😞 #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk spoilers #jjk 236 #gojo satoru imagine #gojo satoru x reader #gojo angst #gojo satoru angst #gojo fluff #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk scenarios #jjk drabbles #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo x you #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen fluff

[kaltacore]

no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

#sorry. i cannot shut up about this. this scene stuck with me the moment i saw it and i just couldn't get it out of my head #i mean. i liked essek well enough. i just got attached to other characters more. but then 'it's not fair' happened and it sealed the deal #it was just. so beautiful. so sincere. so important for a character who just started to learn how to care about people #his reaction wasn't intentional. it didn't change anything. but it showed how humane he had become. how deeply he cared #mighty nein are no joke pal #they're gonna make you feel all these unknown emotions like sympathy and love and affection even when they're incredibly painful #essek experiencing closeness and attachment in all their forms. as something beautiful and something aching. is so important to me #they saved him because they had good hearts! and these good hearts sparked so much joy around them! #but if a good heart grants you an ability to experience joy so profoundly. it makes everything else feel like that #you get it. i hope you get it. anyway e140 did so much psychic damage on me i probably will never recover #in a good way mostly <3 but yeah. yeah. it makes me feel a little insane #the mighty nein #essek thelyss #critical role

[shepscapades]

Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs

I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.

Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.

But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77

#that’s a lie actually I think xisuma ends up telling Cleo :> #but only because Cleo is very smart and I think they should be close in this au :] #but no she would clock Tired Overworked Existential Crisis Xisuma in an instant #Cleo calls them both idiots and gives them big hugs and tells them they need therapy. also that they’re welcome by her place anytime to talk #it’s very sweet and healing to me #this is where “all things end’’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually #oh my god I got so off topic #BDUBS IS GOING TO FEEL GUILTY NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH #like okay. technically #the reason etho shut down is because he was freaking out that everything was his fault #(last life—not giving bdubs a heart— trying to win for bdubs and then losing— coming back to s8 feeling like he can’t face bdubs—> #ending up leaving him alone when the moon hit #and bdubs was hurt by these things. no doubt #but bdubs just wants his friend back and maybe he’s a little reckless about it #bdubs hides his emotions behind cartoonish frustration and complaining but he feels bad #he feels like he should be doing more to ‘save’ etho and bring him back even though he was to #told* he shouldn’t #dbhc ask #dbhc #dbhc bdubs #dbhc etho #dbhc doc #dbhc xisuma #ask #anon

[skrunksthatwunk]

landing

#i'd recommend zooming in bc the changes between panels are pretty subtle. they'll be easier to see on the cropped versions but i wanted to #include the whole thing too because i think it looks nice like that :) #opening up to yukina as the final hopeful yet unresolved part of hiei's arc of learning to trust and love and be loved by others is like. #aughh. fascinating choice anyway here's a take on how it'd go. from me. a sap #smth smth hiei letting his vulnerability show via the thing that unites them (bloodline via the hiruseki stone) which is inherently tied #to emotion and letting his feelings about her and his past show to someone. grahh #yyh #yu yu hakusho #yukina #hiei #skrunkart #also due to the title and the organization of this comic one could call this a landing strip #anyway um. posting more yyh but this time it's not funny at all oops. glad y'all liked the other one though jksdjfkjs #anyway yukina's important you should talk about her more #would also like to point out how in the final panel hiei doesn't actually touch her with his other arm. it's just resting on his hand #enclosing her but still kinda distant. he's still got some healing to do #edit argh i uploaded a slightly wrong version. fixed now. it just didn't have yukina's crying onomotopoeia #but i wanted them back in bc sound is so important to this one #WAIT PANELS SWAPPED. FIXED FR NOW #ANYWAY HIEI MY BELOVED MY EVERYTHING. LOVE THAT LITTLE GUY #also shoutout to devoted sibling characters. they really get it

[the-words-we-sung]

Season 3 ending

So... It's been almost a week since the last episode, almost a week trying to wrap my head around the end of the show, trying to manage my feelings about it all.

It's hard to end up feeling the complete opposite of nearly everyone on my dash but I've come to terms with the fact that I didn't love the ending. I didn't love this last episode. (I shouldn't feel ashamed or weird for saying so but you guys loved it so much that I feel a bit like an outsider right now 😓)

I haven't been a fan of the show for as long as most of you, but it means so much to me. These characters carved a place in my heart and in my head, and they've made me happy for months now. They helped me get through some stuff, made me discover some amazing artists, meet even more amazing people through this fandom. And I loved the story. Even in its darkest, saddest parts, I loved it. I was invested.

I love Wilhelm and Simon, together and separately. They mean so much to me. And I loved season 1 and 2. It made me happy, and sad, and frustrated, and exalted. But overall, I trusted the show and I was not disappointed.

Season 3 was a lot. I liked the first 5 episodes. I can't say that I loved everything about them: I was not expecting things to get so hard for Simon, with no reprieve in sight. I was not worried about Wilmon being endgame (I know it was a big stress for the fandom but honestly I never doubted that they were endgame), but I was wondering how the show would go about tying all the knots it made (I should even say all the knots it added during this last season).

(Under a read more because it's a bit long and I don't want to bother those who don't wanna read more of my frustrated thoughts ^^')

And unfortunately the last episode was a huge let down for me. Yes, it's partly because nothing I was hoping for actually happened, but mostly, it's because the choices they made did not feel very satisfying to me: ⁕ Simon was barely there. We went from him being bullied online/offline non stop for 5 episodes to almost nothing. It makes 0 sense to me. ⁕ Kristina suddenly feeling better: she was having break down upon break down for an entire season, could barely look at her son or even just talk normally and all of a sudden she's back, smiling and agreeing to everything Wilhelm says? I'm sorry but I don't buy it? Where did this Kristina hid during the entire show? ⁕ Wilhelm deciding to not be king, talking for 3min to his parents about it, them agreeing and him running into the sunset with Simon. I'm sorry, what?? I love that they end up together of course, but it makes very little sense to me? It won't change any of the issues they had this season? They're still gonna be famous? And bullied online/offline? (Probably even more so now?). I'm not obviously saying that Wilhelm staying in line to become king was the only or the best solution, but I wanted more from this storyline. I wanted to believe it. And right now, what we got? It feels a bit cheap (and I feel bad for saying that because the ending was cute and romantic and all, but it felt too disconnected from the rest of the show for me ><)

And apart from these few points, the big issue I had with this episode was: The Angst. So that might be a me-problem, but it was too much for my poor little heart (I haven't rewatched the episode yet, and I'm not sure I'll be able to anytime soon ><). I spent like 40min of the episode with a huge knot in the stomach because the heartbreak between Simon and Wilhelm was too much to handle for me. I can see how it was beautifully made, that having lots of throwbacks to the previous seasons, the Wille song, all of that was great cinematography. But it was just too much for me. I got in the season spoiler-free but for this episode? During the lake scene I had to take a break and check online if they were actually endgame because it was starting to actually give me a stomachache. So yeah, this part might be me being too sensitive but I did not like that they made me see them fight for each other for 2 seasons and 5 episodes, but then just giving up for 40min before finally running back to each other during the last 10min. It was just too much sadness for me ><

So yeah, maybe my expectations were too high? But I feel sad, and kinda cheated. Too many things are left wide opened. Too many things make zero sense to me. And of course I'm happy we got our Wilmon endgame, but I'm less happy about how it happened.

It's a bit hard being on Tumblr right now and seeing everyone who thought it was the perfect episode >< And I don't want to "yuck anyone's yum" (as the saying goes), but I still wanna be able to share my thoughts! I probably won't write super angry/unhappy/complaining posts about the season/the finale, but I still wanna be able to chat about it. I did see some posts on my dash from people not being entirely satisfied with this ending so it's a bit comforting. And I hope we can share some nice headcanons, or just discussions about different plot points.

But yeah, I guess that's why I haven't really been active this week! Trying to get over the double heartbreak of the end of the show + being disappointed with the ending! I'm gonna come back though! I miss hanging out here, I just need to strengthen my heart a little bit more :p Gonna get back to writing about my thoughts episode by episode for this season (I can't promise I can rewatch the last one though 😖 It might take me a bit of time to get there). And I want to continue my song analysis of the show!! I'm not even done with season 2 yet, I have some work to do there ^^

So see you back here very soon 😘

#young royals #wilmon #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #yr season 3 #young royals ending #it's hard to feel negative about something everyone seemed to love >< #I still have a lot to say #to try to express #I have a hundred emotions about this finale episode #all mixing and fighting in my poor brain #and it's hard to put them into words #but I'm gonna try #because I think it'll help me feel better about this whole experience #and I did like some things!! #not everything was bad!! #lots of plot points were actually great!! #(Sara for example!!) #but yeah #a lot to process #(and I'm super up to chat about it all if anyone else feels a bit or a lot disappointed too ^^) #(and thank you Lisa for being there to lament with me 💜) #(also yeah me watching gåsmamman this week was clearly a way to not think too much about young royals ^^') #but on another note #I got my Omar concert tee shirt and it made me super happy #and I still love the cast #to the moon and back #and I'm excited for their next projects #and and and #that's too many tags

[rushingheadlong]

You know something I don't think I've ever seen people talk about is how Freddie changed the lyrics for Big Spender.

Because in case you don't know, all original versions of the song are sung by women - and it is made very clear that they are singing to men:

The minute you walked in the joint I could see you were a man of distinction A real big spender [....] So let me get right to the point: I don't pop my cork for every man I see Hey, big spender Spend a little time with me

Probably not too surprising, then, that when Queen performed this song in 1974 Freddie had to do a bit of a gender-switch on it:

Though, it would probably be more accurate to say that Freddie made this song gender-neutral because he didn't change it to be about a woman. He eliminated the first use of "man" entirely and then sang "I don't pop my cork for everyone I see" (instead of "every man").

And honestly there's probably a whole dissertation you could write just about those changes alone, but what I really love is when Queen brought the song back in 1986 and Freddie changed the lyrics again:

Because yes he still dropped the first "man" but the "everyone" is changed and Freddie instead sang "every guy" with just the barest hint of a "-rl" sound at the end to give him plausible deniability if anyone asked about it.

So much of Freddie's music speaks to his experiences as a queer man but, because of the nature of the times in which he lived, he couldn't always be directly open about that fact. Most of his love songs are intentionally vague, and he sang about "somebody" or "you" to avoid having to use gendered terms as much as possible.

Freddie singing "I don't pop my cork for every GUYrl I see" wasn't just an adjustment to the original lyrics, it was a specific change from how Freddie had sang it before in order to make it more gay in a way that he could rarely be with his own music, and that is what I adore about this. It's such a little thing, but it gives such a unique insight into how Freddie balanced his sexuality and his stardom, and how the relationship between those two changed over the nearly 12 years between these performances.

#freddie mercury #queen #queen band #freddie #text #ramblings #long post // #I got the Rainbow on dvd for xmas and I've been thinking about this a lot since then #and thinking about it even more after posting yesterday's gifset #it's SUCH a little thing but it's made me emotional ever since the first time I've noticed it #the transformation from Freddie ''I can't tell anyone I'm gay or it'll ruin everything'' Mercury in 1974 #to Freddie ''Four cocks fighting - ooh it's getting nice this!'' Mercury in 1985 #perfectly summed up in two video clips #idk. sometimes I feel like in defense of Freddie's queerness some fans take it to the opposite extreme #and insist that it was SO UNBELIEVABLY OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE ALL THE TIME in the 70s/80s that Freddie was gay #when in actuality... no it really really wasn't #and that's IMPORTANT. the ways in which Freddie had to hide himself and the ways in which he chose not to are IMPORTANT. #and erasing those decisions from his history or pretending they were easy ones to make isn't defending his queerness #it only serves to erase it even further

[hecksupremechips]

Come back home when you have some sense

You can throw your life away just not at my expense

You’re not the son I raised

#jhariah #this one just rawrrfrrr #and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’ #nice #im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it #god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like #hnnnghhh #hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot #the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM #sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’ #like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke #but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me #and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards #the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome #the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear #its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe #but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill #and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill #you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit #and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it #and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was #very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me #which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me #yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍

[hazel2468]

Just a completely random thought but like...

I am truly starting to believe, at least for people my age (so late 20s- early 30s range), our parents didn't actually want children. Not in the way that matters.

They didn't want unique, individual, whole other people to raise into adults. They didn't want to do the amazingly hard work of being a parent- in that being a parent entails making sure your children can go out into the world and be their own people and make their own way, and it is your job as the person raising them to prepare them for that as best you can.

They wanted "children". As in dolls. As in "look at this thing I made let's talk about how great I am for making it". As in "let me brag about all of my child's accomplishments, those are all on me, but if they fail that is on them". As in "my child matters in what they can give me, not in who they are as a person of inherent value". As in "this was expected of me and I did it and now I am going to raise this human being the same way my parents raised me".

As in "why doesn't my fully grown adult child talk to me anymore? They're so entitled! They're so whiny! They DARE tell me I didn't do a good job parenting them! They DARE tell me I hurt them! They DARE express that they have feelings and thoughts and wants and a life outside of what I imagined for them in my head, outside of what will look good on me! How dare they not be a little thing I can hang on my fridge with a magnet and point to and say look my baby loves me. Look I am a good parent- that means I am a good person. Look I became a parent and that means I am GOOD. How DARE they undermine my entire identity as a Good Parent by telling me that I messed up?"

#this got really specific I know #im just having Thoughts this morning #prrobably spurred on by the fact that I am like #making a lot of changes related to my disabilities and conditions #and thinking about how even the fact that like #we all but KNEW I had something going on #didn't stop my parents from acting like I was messing up #and yet they were prefectly happy to brag about all the shit I COULD do right #but whenever I did something wrong it had NOTHING to do with them #and EVERYTHING to do with me #and I'm just having an emotion about that #and about how shitty parents can really be in generral #i know exactly ONE person #who has a solid relationship with his parent

[saturnniidae]

"I should've seen the signs" I feel like Stoick was basically reliving the way he lost Valka.

To him, after a lifetime of wanting nothing but to kill a dragon, Hiccup's suddenly and inexplicably changed his mind. To him, Hiccup saying he can't kill them is just like when Valka refused to and tried convincing others as well, then as a result was 'killed' by one herself.

To him, way Hiccup tossed his weapon and shield to the side then approached Hookfang while speaking about how dragons aren't what people think they are probably bares an uncomfortable resemblance to the way Valka put down her weapon and stared a dragon in the eyes and as a result was taken.

To him, attempting to do anything but preemptively defend yourself against a dragon will only end in tragedy, so he has to do anything he can to stop Hiccup before it's too late.

(And just like with Valka, he unintentionally escalated the situation by trying to protect Hiccup but only agitated the dragon, causing it to panic and react, inadvertently putting someone he loves in danger. again)

Stoick of course, wasn't acting rationally, but it makes sense when you think about how traumatizing Valka's 'death' must've been for him (and how much Hiccup reminss him of her); he watched her get taken, presumably killed, and couldn't do anything about it.

#THE PARALLEL GHSSHRBFK THE PARALLELS #'so everything in the ring was a trick? a lie?' he was so elated when he though hiccup was finally taking after him #he convinced himself so hard that This was the real hiccup he's finnaly going to be a proper viking a real member of the tribe #and he was so proud and glad he finally had something he could connect with his son over #but again he'd convinced himself of all that. he completely ignored everything hiccup had to say #in his eagerness to actually be a Family to actually bond with his child #he was so stuck with this fake image of Hiccup the Dragon Slayer he'd convinced himself of to the point #when it all fell through he felt almost betrayed #betrayed and scared #scared he made a horrible irrational and emotionally charged decision of essentially disowning his son #im not saying stoicks a good parent. hes not. but hes trying and alone and taking care of an entire village as well as hiccup #and all the unprocessed trauma and emotional repression #hes not great but hes not bad either. hes trying. #hes trying and its not enough but at least it got better #i love stoick #parents of autistic kids they dont understand moment #httyd #stoick the vast #stoick haddock #hiccup haddock #valka haddock #httyd analysis #maybe? #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #haddock family #moth.txt #also pls dont tell me abt how valka and the 2nd movie wasnt planned yet. ik that but i like expanding on things #and pondering a characters reasoning for certain decisions bc its fun and makes them all the more fascinating #post rewatch 1am thoughts go crazy (sorry if any of this is like redundant or confusing. im tired) if u read the tags ily

[wispforever]

god is dead

#naruto #hidan #kakuzu #kakuhida #hidan strikes me as the kind of person who cries when they get really really overwhelmingly angry #and he also appears to have pretty big emotions a lot of the time so #it's bound to happen #the first time kakuzu made fun of him and got his head bitten off #now he just waits in silence for hidan to calm tf down #i don't know the exact lore of jashin #but I'm a big fine of the idea that hidan made up the whole thing cuz he was immortal and had fucked up urges and was so angry at everyone #that he needed an outlet to just get all of this violence out #an outlet he could justify and use to make himself feel a little better #anyway i picture him getting highly upset any time anyone calls attention to the fact that #there arent any other people who have heard of jashin #or practice that religion #maybe this is the day he confesses everything to kakuzu in a fit of tearful rage #who knows #can you tell i have religious trauma

[marypsue]

Relevant to that last post: when you think about how, historically, textiles have been so profoundly difficult and time-consuming to make, the concept of things like shrouds and winding-sheets and satin coffin linings become almost unbearably touching.

#we made this for you #you'll never know or appreciate it #but we loved you so much we put all this time and effort into something that you'll just decay into #just to make sure you are covered. to show that you are cared for and respected and you are loved. #(and is that not the way of all things in the end? everything you love. everything you work for. will one day return to dust.) #(and that's not a good reason not to love or try anyway.) #anyway I heard the Band Perry's 'If I Die Young' on the radio the other night for the first time in like a decade #and the line about 'bury me in satin' got me emotional

[daffythefox]

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

#FUCK EMOTIONAL PERMANANCE ISSUES #FUCK REJECTION SENSITIVE DYSPHORIA FUCK NARC CRASHES #FUCK DEPRESSIVE SYMPTOMS #FUCK BURNOUT #FUCK NEEDING OTHERS TO SEE YOU AS INHUMANLY GOOD IN ORDER FOR YOU TO BELIEVE THEY CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL #FUCK ALL OF THIS #FUCK EVERYTHING #WHY DOES IT ALL HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HARD #actually npd #npd #actuallynpd #a bit of a vent #All of these pictures are from my camera roll i have no idea how i got any of them but i made none of them #if you made one of these pictures ask me and I'll credit you #i would post an image id for all of these but I'm so fucking tired #me when i

[ganondoodle]

feeling much better now having gotten some sleep (the dont trust how you feel about yourself past 9pm is good advice no joke)

of course all my criticism of totk still applies but im feeling less depressed about it, tho i will say its honestly kinda baffling how many times the game actually got me interested and excited about stuff and then just kinda drops it in a dead end, of course they were those kind of things in botw as well but it seems much less .. balanced in totk

(not even just the big things like making me want to actively do something to help zelda turn back when it just gets solved on its own in the end, but also some lil things like the fact that so many NPCs tell you about that newly discovered animal species and when you find the dongos they are just gem vending maschines)

in the end i can say, no, i dont like totk, tho i still love the graphics and the way the world is made ( botw showed me jsut how immersive and alive a world can feel i love it to death), i liked the gameplay and that it kept the freedom botw had established, the bossfights are mostly fun (tho i wish you could refight more of them), i LOVE the yiga and im glad they got more of a spotlight, the music is FANTASTIC i keep catching myself humming along, alot of the sidequests are much bigger and feel like you are actually doing something, i like how the sages are a bit more integrated into the story, the majority of the new designs are great, both the japanese and german voice acting is great, and the end fight has some of the best build up i have ever experienced, my heart starts to race when that music build up starts even tho i have beaten it 3 times already-

however, the story is both simple and incredible flat with lots of stuff that doesnt make sense especially when it was said to be a sequel, the zonau should have stayed a mystery imo, they failed to make me care about them even a little bit and often felt forcefully crammed into the world and its history, i think you could have told an incredible story taking place in the present and leave the past be the past, you easily could have connected botw and totk in a much better way than they did, i dont like how it changes aspects about botw all the while nigh ignoring it ever happened, it still feels like it was trying to be a replacement and not a sequel and all the referencing and callbacks to the old titles may have been done in good faith but that and including time travel yet again ultimately lead to people ripping each other to shreds over trying to prove its placed in the old timeline despite it making no sense at all and confusing people even more; often when the game made me care or be excited about something it was dropped in a dead end, there was a ton of missed opportunities and lost potential to tell a much more nuanced and interesting story/lore, and thinking about it only makes me sad for the things that could have been

overall i think my disappointment is outweighing my fun and the only way i can keep playing it while having fun is ignoring everything that isnt, which works quite well most of the time since im pretty much done with all story stuff but i keep slipping into my little rants nonetheless; i will say its making me a little worried about the future of the franchise, but i know im in the minority and maybe i will just have to accept that the new stuff wont be for me anymore and i should not hope for anything that interests me xD

except for some meme material or specific characters i love i dont think i will make much use of anything totk tried to establish, and i hope thats fine with the lot of you (<3) hopefully that also means my ranting days are over xD

anyway, back to making niche art i go! (sorry for making you endure these long ass rambling posts :,) )

#ganondoodles talks #would you believe me if i said i found more stuff that i find a lil weird #like the way zelda gives you her time power thing and the way the mastersword got sent back in time #like i dont need to have it all written out to me like im a baby but soem things are just kinda weird but acceptable #and some things actively take you out of the game- threatening your immersion #-stares at the shrine of life- #i will miss digging through theory videos on youtube tho #bc considering how big of a game totk is and how wide its influence goes .. its gonna affect everything #anyway i want to reiterate that damn the music is good #and it makes it all just hurt more #the music got me more emotional than anything else in the game besides koga #and it kinda sucks thinking about the impact it could have had if both the music AND story were this great

[8rujaa]

i feel so happy i have the urge to get on my hands and knees and worship something

#i’m emotional because i feel like recently i’ve been actually like genuinely happy #i thought i was going to feel broken forever. i thought i was going to feel like half a person forever #i’ve made so much progress #looking back i don’t know how i got through certain things i really don’t #i was being traumatized while also being severely tortured daily by my body pain #i hadn’t talked to my family or friends in months #i lost my mobility and i lost my independence and i lost everything i worked hard for #i felt like a dog and my nightmares still make sure to remind me how terrible it was #and the healing journey afterwards was somehow even worst because i was reliving it constantly. i feel like i fought so hard for my peace #i know i thought about offing myself multiple times #i don’t know what kept me alive… #i think i stayed for all the wrong reasons/people…. but either way i’m glad i stayed #i’m struggling with letting myself be happy because life has a way of taking everything from you just as you were getting comfortable #and i know bad things can and will happen wether i worry or not so the only thing i can do it try to savor and enjoy these beautiful moment #as best as i can and maybe these moments are what will keep me alive in the future #this year i don’t ‘want’ anything per say…. i just don’t want to lose anything…. like god i don’t ask for anything else…. just don’t take #anything from me that i love please 😭😭😭😭😭 #brain vomit

[bitchfromtheseventhhell]

i remember right after the first ep came out, a lot of people in my non-tumblr circles saying of aemma’s death “why did they do that that wasn’t in the books how dare they ugh ugh ugh gross”

and yes

but also that why did they do that is something that’s sitting with me because i think we were all so used to the bar on got being so low that things like that were done to shock the viewer and nothing else.  and that’s not hotd’s play.

aemma’s death was setting the stage for eighteen different things—the explicit horror of it was intentional.  it echoes through the following episodes, the seed for what we’re seeing with alicent’s marital rape, with viserys never being able to understand that his “love” for the women in his life (aemma, rhaenyra, alicent) and his “i’m just trying to be a good guy” attitude is nothing more than a velvet glove over a punch that still hits just very hard: he treats the women in his life as pawns.  not just because king, but because that is who he is even in his most private and “human” moments with them.  he waffles and prevaricates and tells different truths to different people he cares about because he himself can’t face his own truths.

and all that is before we get to what’s yet to come, with rhaenyra’s own marriages and childbirths which will absolutely have important echoes of aemma’s death.

this show is highlighting in the most brutal possible way the misogyny of martin’s world. aemma’s death was more than just a plot point, more than just something to make us hide our faces and go “here’s this world again, back at it to horrify us and make us hurt”—it is echoing and reverberating.  it is the thesis statement of the whole show.  it wasn’t meaningless.  it was the point.

#hotd #got critique #idk this has been sitting with me for the past week or so #that by the end of got we were all like just begging for anything to have any meaning at all #and it never did #so we didn't expect the horrors we saw to have meaning anymore #i saw a friend quoting a podcast i don't listen to: that hotd is character driven whereas got was plot driven #d&d didn't understand that to be plot driven you MUST be character driven #which is why they broke their entire show for sansa's plotline in s5 #hotd is making everything character driven #that's why they changed alicent's age #that's why they added details to aemma's death #it's to make all the plot points they're going to hit pack more than a velvet punch #because they're going to hit their characters hearts #not force the characters to have unrealistic emotions out of poorly written shock value