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loki-hargreeves · 2 years

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Bloody Hands

Pairing: Jake Lockley/Steven Grant/Marc Spector x fem!Reader Warnings: implied murder [by Jake’s hand] so dark undertones, angst, reader gets injured [assault], mentions of blood, hurt/comfort, my attempt at using Spanish as someone who is still beginning to learn it [please don’t read this if anything like this could possibly upset you.] Word Count: 4,1K Summary: It has been a while since Harrow mysteriously ‘disappeared’ yet one of his followers is still loyal to him. The follower in question comes after you, suspecting you know where the man is. When Jake Lockley finds out about the incident, he makes sure to reunite the follower with Harrow. A/N: Jake Lockley owns my ass and I just needed to finally finish a WIP with him in it. Please enjoy!

YOUR POV

You were deeply upset, that much was clear from the very moment you arrived at the flat, coming home from work. Steven immediately went after you, his heart sinking to his stomach when he realized you were crying.

“Love, what happened?” Steven forgot about everything else, his mind entirely on you now. You stopped in your tracks, shaking hands covering your mouth as you held back a sob, tears streaming down your face uncontrollably. There was blood all over your clothes.

Marc and Jake noticed what was going on but there was little they could do when Steven was in control. They both swore they would kill anyone if they had hurt you but perhaps Jake took that promise a little bit more seriously.

Is she bleeding?! Marc thought, wanting to jump into action to check you for injuries as Steven looked at you with pity and shock written on his face. His reflection appeared on the surface of Gus’ tank, looking at you instead of Steven.

Jake was standing by, quiet as a mouse but there was a deadly look on his face, thoughts conjuring in his mind about what he would do to whoever had dared even touch a hair on your body.

“Here,” Steven gently took your hands into his, wanting to see your face. The cries that left poured past your quivering lips felt like whips to his heart.

“I’m so...I’m so sorry!” You choked out, leaning against Steven for dear life, legs finally collapsing after carrying you away from that mess. The adrenaline rush had ended, now completely gone having paved a path for hurt and misery to replace it with. Guilt was weighing you down as you closed your eyes, seeing what you had done to the man. It was just self-defense, yet you felt horrible as if your hands were soaked in hot, pungent blood.

“Shh,” Steven shushed you softly, “you’re alright. You have nothing to be sorry about.” Steven didn’t actually know what had happened but there was no possible situation in which you were faulty for this, all the blood and tears. There was just no way. Not you, the kindest and most wonderful of people he knew of.

Steven held onto you carefully, his hand rubbing your back instinctively as a desperate attempt to comfort you as you cried. You were too upset to even try to speak as you let him hold you, the shock washing away and finally allowing you to feel the pain. There was a dull ache in your bones, your knees wet with blood, knuckles burning as a painful reminder of what you had been forced to do.

The actions of what had happened just moments earlier were replaying in your head like a broken record, making your heart stammer and thoughts swirl like a hurricane, dragging along every fearful thought. For a brief moment, you had feared that you’d never see them again. That the last time you ever saw Marc, Steven and Jake was when they were still sleeping, you looking over your shoulder at them before going to work. The thought of the sun rising to a day without you in it had crossed your mind.

You felt so relieved to be there, in Steven’s arms. The scent of his cologne enveloped you, the safety of something so familiar bringing you solace. You were safe. They would never let anything happen to you, especially not after this. Safe. You were safe.

“Are you hurt?” Steven needed to know. Was that a dumb question?

Why else would she be covered in blood? Jake butted in, pacing around restlessly as he awaited to know just how bad your injuries were. Oh if only he could get his hands on the person responsible for this...

Ignoring Jake, Steven wondered if you needed to go to the hospital. Just the thought alone made Steven feel nauseous, unable to imagine any scenario where you’d get hurt. Even seeing you with a paper cut on your finger made him feel horrible.

“Maybe,” You nodded just enough for him to see as you stepped back, “I’ll be fine,” you whispered as if your mind was elsewhere. Those words didn’t convince anyone though. There was a shadow over your eyes. To Steven, it looked like you weren’t even looking at him, as if you were looking past his shoulder and somehow seeing the scenes unfold before you again, reminding you of what had happened.

“Can I see?” Steven scanned you over, noticing that the deep shade of crimson had stained your clothes and settled on your skin too. If he hadn’t gotten so familiar to the sight of blood in the past few months, Steven was sure the sight would’ve made him faint.

Steven guided you to the bathroom, sitting you down on a wooden stool as he knelt before you. Ever so tenderly he lifted your shirt, holding in his breath as he feared seeing something gruesome. Seeing the damage on your body was gruesome, red lines standing out on your sides as deep bruises formed near your left ribs. However, there was a lot of blood on your shirt that didn’t seem to have come from you.

Where did all that blood come from? Marc wanted to know, part of him already aware of the answer.

“Whose blood is this?” Steven needed to know, trying his best to remain calm. If not for himself, for your sake. He had never seen you like that, so distressed and out of it. To him, it was as if someone had chased the light away from your eyes, those beautiful eyes of yours.

“Not sure,” You didn’t know the man’s name, “said he’s looking for Harrow. He thought I knew where he is,” the words you spoke seemed calculated, not in a deceiving way, more robotic and distant. Steven feared that you were acting that way in order to cope, distancing yourself from the painful present but it only meant you were getting lost on the inside.

I’m going to kill him, Jake was quicker to declare that, taking the words right out of Marc’s mouth.

I thought Harrow was gone, Marc struggled to understand how such a man could cause problems to this fucking day. He had almost dared to believe Harrow and his creepy followers were completely in the past.

He is gone!

Steven ignored the two others, happy you couldn’t hear them as he continued searching for injuries, just now noticing that there were bruises forming around your neck area, surrounded by small scratches and splatters of blood. Steven couldn’t see anything else but something told him you’d have bruises under the rest of your clothes too, if you had been in such a fight. Steven knew how ugly it could get.

You didn’t deserve that. None of it. If Steven could shelter you from all the cruelty of the world, he would do it.

Although Steven only had a small idea of how exactly you sustained these injuries, it didn’t seem too inaccurate to suspect you had been hit by a bus. It was worse though, as reality often was. This was done by a man, another breathing and living human being. Steven didn’t want to think about it, the image in his head of this happening was far too much for him. What help would he be if he let his nerves get the best of him now?

“I’ll be right back, I’ll go grab the first aid kit, yeah?” Steven needed to let you know that before he got up, frantically looking around for the little red box. His heart was pounding in his chest, forcing him to act quickly as wasting time meant you’d keep bleeding. The sooner he could ease your pain the better.

Perhaps this would be better suited for Marc? He knew how to patch people up better than Steven.

“Marc?” Steven had found the firstaid kit but he was willing to give control to someone with more expertise, deciding it was the best option for everyone right now.

On it, Marc reassured Steven and just like that he was in control of the body. By now, the three of them had learned to shift control rather smoothly. Life was easier now that they learned to balance each other out and live in harmony, sort of. The lack of blackouts helped too.

Marc returned to your side, putting the small box down on the tiled bathroom floor and grabbing the necessities to first of all stop the bleeding. Although you weren’t bleeding much, he figured the wounds required some kind of compress. They could be cleaned after, but first Marc needed to know everywhere you were hurt so he could make it all better.

“If you’re hurting somewhere else too, you need to tell me, alright?” Marc knew you were most likely in shock and that’s why you were quiet. He understood your reaction from the little information he knew. Being hurt physically by anyone was terrible and frightening. Despite his anger, not only directed at the person who did this but also at himself for letting this happen, Marc stayed somewhat calm and collected.

“Yeah,” Your voice was hardly above a whisper, teary eyes avoiding Marc’s as you sat there. “My head kind of hurts,” Admitting it was surprisingly difficult. When your own inner voice was so confused and scared, it was very helpful to let Marc guide you. You hadn’t even thought about the pain in your head or even telling him about it. All you found yourself thinking about was that you were safe. Safe. The word repeating in your head, trying to convince you of it being true.

“Let me look, okay?”

All you could do was nod, letting Marc scan your head for injuries. When he saw the back of your head, blood partly dry partly bright red on your neck, he had to force himself to hide his reaction. The last thing Marc wanted to do was to startle you. At first glance, it was bad, but Marc knew that once the blood was gone you’d be just alright. It wasn’t as awful as it looked, nothing he couldn’t fix at the very least. Well unless you had a concussion, then he definitely had to get you to a hospital.

Oh god, Marc that looks horrible... Steven wanted to call an ambulance for you the moment he saw all that blood. Maybe his concern wasn’t so misplaced.

If we take her to the hospital now she’ll be safe when we go track down the son of a-

We can’t leave her alone! Steven directed that at Jake, look at her, she’s terrified! She needs us. Oh bloody hell...

Bloody hell indeed.

Marc wished he could mute Steven and Jake as they bickered in the background, which was surprisingly quite a rare occurrence, at least on this level. Of course, situations like these brought out different sides of people. Under stress and worry for a loved one, anyone would act out. Unfortunately for Marc, it meant two people were arguing for his ears only, English and Spanish mixing in disagreement of the order of the next events.

Jake sounded like he was ready to storm out the door and bring a man to an early grave right this second. Marc could relate to Jake in that moment but he knew there was no way he could leave your side now. Payback would have to wait.

You tried to touch the back of your head to see if you were bleeding but Marc quickly stopped you from doing that. He grabbed your hand gently and placed a reassuring kiss on your temple,

“You’ll be fine, baby. I promise.”

The water in the bathtub had a vivid red tint in it, even smelling like the blood Marc was washing off of you. No soaps or bath salts could possibly cover that copper stench. You sat in the tub with your scraped knees above the water, needing something to hold onto. Marc had cleaned up your wounds and even stitched you up when you refused to go to the hospital. In your head, a visit to the hospital would probably result in a visit to the police station and that was the last thing you wanted.

For now, Marc stopped pressuring you about a hospital trip but he kept a close eye on you. If you showed any signs of getting worse, he wouldn’t hesitate to get you the help you needed.

“Tell me if it hurts, I’ll try to be gentle,” Marc soaked the washcloth in the water and then rubbed it along your back, washing away the dry blood that had dripped all the way from the back of your head to the bottom of your spine.

“Okay,” That was all you could muster up, mind still wrapped around the scary encounter. Was the man still looking for you? Would he show up at the flat? Or was he somewhere bleeding out because of the injury you caused him?

“Hey,” Marc’s heart was breaking the longer he was there, failing to look past the expression on your face. It seemed like you had seen a ghost. “Talk to me, baby. What happened?”

Daring to glance at your lover, you were pained to see just how worried he was, brown eyes full of concern. He didn’t seem angry, which you had almost expected for some reason. They were never angry at you and now you felt stupid for thinking that would happen.

“I left work and went to get some coffee,” You took a shaky, deep breath as you tried to tell him about what had happened. “I was in the parking house and that’s when he showed up. He knew my name, where I worked. He wanted to know about Harrow’s whereabouts,” You felt sick every time you remembered Arthur Harrow. Had it not been for a miracle, Harrow would’ve been responsible for Marc’s death, Steven and Jake’s too.

“He didn’t take it too well when you didn’t have the answers?” Marc feared, now washing the blood off your neck, being extremely careful around the wound he had stitched up. Marc didn’t want you to see how enraged he felt thinking about the man who had hurt you, knowing that you needed to feel a sense of security right now. Keeping that under control wasn’t a simple task. Marc swore he would find that bastard soon and make him pay for this.

“He had a knife,” You whispered, throat dry and your voice hardly carrying the words as you held back tears. Crying was exhausting and you didn’t want to cry again, but the pain was too much to handle. It felt like your heart had been crushed, absolutely drained of faith in other people.

“I thought I would never see you again, I couldn’t have that happen,” Telling Marc about it brought back the fear, chills running down your spine and fresh tears rolling down your cheeks. Just when you thought you had no more tears to weep. “I tried to run but he was faster. We fought. He dropped the knife and I...oh god,”

Marc dropped the washcloth into the water, now focused on your words only. He was gripping the edge of the tub so hard he was sure it would break. The mental image of someone threatening you with a knife was taunting him. He should’ve known something like this would happen. It felt like this was entirely his fault.

“It’s okay,” Marc took your hand in his, pressing a soft kiss on the roof of your hand, not caring about the fact you still had bloody water dripping down your skin. All he wanted was to comfort you, to make you feel like you could talk about what had happened. Marc knew how important that was. Letting stuff like that stay locked in your head wasn’t good for anyone.

“I grabbed it. I just wanted to scare him away but he leapt at me. Everything happened so fast, Marc! I...I just swung it,” You didn’t need to explain it further for Marc to understand. Part of him was so relieved you had defended yourself, part of him worried of how everything would affect you.

“There was so much blood. I left and didn’t look back. I had to get out of there!”

“I know, I know, baby,” Marc reassured you, not letting you judge yourself for leaving that man behind. For all Marc cared, he could bleed out and perish.

Leaning toward Marc, you closed your eyes and let him hug you. At that very moment, the comfort was the only thing that eased your mind, chasing away the paranoid thoughts. You clung to Marc’s shirt with wet fingers, allowing his soothing words to help you relax. Pink droplets of water settled on your skin, some trailing down back into the water. One bath surely wouldn’t be enough.

“Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise,” Marc gave you his word. The sincerity of it all made it easy for you to believe him. Everything would be just fine.

Jake had waited rather patiently for you all to fall asleep. Marc and Steven had comforted you and luckily they too fell asleep, exhausted after the long day, slipping into a dream realm far far away. Jake was still there, now in control on a much deeper level. It had been a while since he had done this, taking control and making sure they wouldn’t take it back until he was done with his work.

You hadn’t noticed when Jake left the flat. He had checked several times that you were actually in a deep sleep, satisfied with the steady rise and fall of your chest and the relaxed expression on your face, not resembling the pained one he had seen earlier. You’d be fine, you’d be safe. He’d be back before anyone would even notice he was gone in the first place.

It wasn’t until Jake returned that you woke up, heart jumping to your throat when you heard the door closing. To your relief, you quickly realized where you were, recognizing your surroundings and the man who was joining you in bed. Safe. You were safe.

“Where were you?” You wondered, sleep still heavy in your voice. The blanket was so warm and comfortable, it would lull you right back to sleep any moment now.

“Just getting some fresh air, mi vida,” Jake wasn’t really lying, or so he told himself as he climbed under the blanket, joining your side. The bed felt soft, softer than usual, especially after such a refreshing little night trip. Jake knew he’d sleep better knowing the man who had hurt you had been dealt with. It was even better than he had done it alone. Steven and Marc would've probably stopped him and tried to convince Jake that he was deserving of less of a punishment. Perhaps not. Jake didn’t have the patience to wait for all of them to come to an agreement of what they would do. The answer was simple.

Something about Jake’s demeanour told you he hadn’t been out just for fresh air. Suddenly you felt more awake and energized, curious in a morbid way. Sometimes not knowing things was for the best but you couldn’t help it, you needed to know what Jake had done.

“Did you find him?” You dared to ask, jumping to conclusions, fingers finding Jake’s and intertwining ever so softly. His hand was cold, calloused fingers feeling familiar and lovely on your skin though. Despite Jake’s efforts to conceal his actions, you felt the strain in his touch and saw the evidence on his knuckles.

Jake just looked at you for a moment, enjoying the feeling of your hand in his. Moonlight poured in through the gaps of the blinds, landing on your skin which only enhanced the ethereal aura you owned. When Jake realized the silver light also illuminated the bruises on your delicate skin, he felt a flash of rage pass him. He should’ve gotten rid of that guy along with each and every follower of Arthur Harrow’s fucked up cult long ago. If he had just done that, you would’ve never been hurt in the first place.

“I did,” He decided to tell you the truth in hopes it would bring you comfort. When he saw your shoulders relaxing, he knew he had done the right thing. Wrong or right, Jake Lockley would’ve done it again in a heartbeat. Anyone who harmed the love of his life would pay for it with their life.

“Thank you,” You didn’t need to know of the details, whether or not the man lived or not. If Jake had visited him, you were convinced you’d never see or hear from the man ever again. To you, that was more than enough.

Jake appreciated that you didn’t dig deeper into it. Now that it had been dealt with he could finally relax a little bit and focus on you and you alone. There weren’t any plans of vengeance in his mind anymore, just plans of making it up to you in every possible way. Sure, Jake had returned the man to Harrow’s side which he had so desperately wanted, but it didn’t feel like he had done enough.

Jake loved you, everything about you. You were the air he breathed, the stars on his sky and the blood that filled his veins. To him, you were a goddess, human evidence of miracles being real. You were the calm after the storm, the brave and sweet person who stayed by his side despite knowing more about him than anyone ever before. Jake knew that you knew what he had done yet there you lied, right by his side with a loving look on your face. The light was back in your eyes, practically dancing with affection and gratitude, relief too.

Sure, Steven and Marc would probably give him an earful or two for such drastic measures but when Jake saw the look in your eyes, he couldn’t possibly have cared about what they had to say. They wanted to do it too, he knew it, but Jake was the one who followed through with those desires.

Jake brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss against the flat of your palm. His eyes, dark as the night, looked at you intensely yet with so much affection it nearly made you swoon. Perhaps it was wrong, but you felt safe knowing that Jake was willing to do anything for you. If you asked him for the moon, he would find a way to give it to you. When the world was as messy as it was, it was good to know you weren’t in it alone. Right here, this bed, this man was your home. There was no other place you’d rather be.

“You need to rest,” Jake stated clearly, the urge to take care of you strong. This tender and attentive side of him the polar opposite of what he had been like moments before. When Jake had found the man who had hurt you, he had seen red. Like an enraged bull, he hadn’t hesitated to get into action. Finding him hadn’t been hard either. People could hide from Jake Lockley, but he always found them in the end. Running away from him was foolish, only buying people mere seconds of extra time.

Jake wouldn’t tell you this now but when he saw the damage you had done, he had been proud. His baby girl did that, you had stood up for yourself.

Jake usually worked with guns. It was a classic choice, quick and easy. Tonight he didn’t want to work quickly. No, this was very much personal. An eye for an eye, right?

If those who had crossed his path in an undesirable way could see Jake now, they wouldn’t recognize him, holding you as you laid your weary head on his chest. Jake traced his fingers along the details on your face and then your neck, gentle touch full of love. Jake was aware of the wounds at all times, not wishing to accidentally hurt you.

Before you drifted off to sleep once more, now being embraced by Jake, you needed to tell him; “I love you.”

Those three words were like magic, affecting Jake more than you’d ever know. Those three words made the dirty work worth it. Jake would finish every ugly mess, do what Marc and Steven wouldn’t or couldn’t if it meant you were safe and happy. If that meant you’d still love him. Jake would wash the blood off his hands for the rest of his living days for you.

“Y te amo tanto, más de lo que nunca sabrás,” Jake confessed sincerely, often switching to Spanish when the words he wanted to tell you were so intimate. They came right from the very center of his heart.

“Sleep tight, mi corazón.”

Jake would never let anyone come close to hurting you ever again. One way or another, he’d make sure of it. There was not a thing he wouldn’t do to ensure that.

Anyone who would dare even think of it would be damned.

A/N: Hope you liked it! The thought of being Jake Lockley’s enemy is terrifying to me, just realized that. I would hate that, actually.

I hope my Spanish is correct. It’s supposed to say

“And I love you so much, more than you’ll ever know.”

#Jake Lockley #Jake Lockley x Reader #Jake Lockley x f!Reader #Jake Lockley x fem!Reader #Jake Lockley/Reader #Jake Lockley fanfiction #Moon Knight x Reader #Steven Grant x fem!Reader #Marc Spector x fem!Reader #Steven grant x Reader #Marc Spector x Reader

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catboymoments · 2 months

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Hi Fran! here it is! (IF AU Hierophant death)

The sky was gray and dull. The battle was over as the ground smoked, it was all quiet. He had lost. He saw the four of them, the human child chosen by the titan, the two witches, and the young titan. He saw the disdain in their eyes, a sense of hatred and pity. He had no strength left to fight, no strength left to plead for mercy. What good would it do him? What words could he say to convince them? To convince himself. He saw it now, the pain he had wrought, the thousands he nearly killed. It was clear and painful to him. He was wrong. He killed his brother for nothing, he murdered the hundreds of grimwalkers for nothing... he casted Eveyln aside for nothing. With what little strength he had left he reconstituted his body slowly, his skin and hair coming back, his eyes forming once more, though nothing more than a sickening twisted reflection of his human self, he should at least accept his fate with dignity. It's the bare minimum he could do now to atone. In the distance he saw a group, it was the witches the young human befriended, the bonds she made with them he could see with how firm they stood together. He saw Azrael with them. He turned in shame. Azrael… he had no right to look at him, not after the pain he put him through, the scars from the suicidal missions he sent him on, the attempted killing in his mind, and the monstrous sin of puppeting him like nothing more than a doll. He wished Azrael would leave, that he would not see him like this, but he figured he wanted this, that he must be wishing for nothing more than his death to be as agonizing and painful as everything Hierophant put him through. He felt a sizzling pain on his right shoulder, then another on his knee, then his face. Boiling rain, it was clear that even the Titan wanted him dead. This was right though, it was justice, the consequences of his sins, his burning sizzling body would be gone soon. He saw the young human approach him, blessed with the gift of the titan, a spell forming in her hand. She stood in front of him, the two witches and young titan behind her. He saw the glyphs swirl into her hand. “This was right,” he thought. She raised her hand towards him. "This was just". He saw her face full of sadness, anger, and hesitance, he nodded his head as he closed his eyes. He had no last words, he didn’t deserve them. But nothing came. Confused for a moment he felt an embrace, warm and strong. He opened his eyes. Azrael was there, the gift of his heritage protecting him from the rain. He felt it through the pain of his body burning, the pain of his existence fading, despite everything, despite all that happened, he did not hate him, he would not let him die alone, he would stay there until the end. Hierophant had one last duty, his last act of repentance. He returned the embrace to Azrael. For those few moments, Hierophant found peace and acceptance. As he faded into nothing.

“Live a life you won’t regret, my child.”

His ashes burnt away carried by the wind and then into nothing. Azrael hugged himself, a tear dropped, then another. Soon his face was filled with them, crying and sobbing as he collapsed in sorrow. Amity, Gus, Luz, Willow, and everyone gathered around and hugged him. They knew what Hierophant meant to him, and despite their views, they would stay with him for as long as he needed, they knew he had the right to cry. After all, he lost his father, his family, and the first person to show him love.

OHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDD. DUDE. DUDE??!!?!??!??

I’m GOING TO LOSE MY MINDDDDD THIS WAS SO SWEET IM SO EMOTJONAL

#THANK YOU FOR HURTING ME LIKE THIS #toh:if

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simply-whump · 9 months

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King the Land (킹더랜드) - Whump List

Whumpee : Gu Won played by Lee jun Ho

Synopsis : King of the Land is a VVIP business lounge, a paradise catering to wealthy hoteliers. It is owned by The King Group, with hotels, distribution companies, and an airline in its portfolio. Now Goo Won has been thrown into an inheritance tug-of-war. With his brilliant mind, innate grace, and captivating charm, he has everything but lacks common sense when dating. Cheon Sa Rang makes the world brighter with just her smile. She is thrilled to land a job at the King Hotel, where she had some of her happiest times as a child. She must now put those sweet memories away and mature quickly to face the frequent workplace prejudices and misunderstandings that come her way. (MDL)

Genres : Comedy, Romance

Warning! Possible spoilers below!

Gu Won

Ep 1 : Falls from the treadmill, grunting in pain, accused wrongfully (Gif Set)

Ep 2 : Anxious (kinda on the edge of a panic attack), remembering bad memories

Ep 3 : Uncomfortable after being asked questions about his mom (sensitive subject), heavy breathing, small panic attack — Passes out after being scared, wakes up, scared, falls (comedic) — Drunk, slapped on the forehead

Ep 4 : None

Ep 5 : Remembering painful childhood memories, anxious

Ep 6 : Worried for someone, stuck at the bottom of a cliff, scared (comedic) — Hit with a broom, overreacts a bit

Ep 7-8: None

Ep 9 : Scared, collapses (Comedic) — Hit (Comedic)

Ep 10 : None

Ep 11 : Hit in the stomach (Semi comedic), pretends to be in pain — Hit with a pan (comedic), puts ice on his shoulder

Ep 12 : Splashed with water by a passing car — Teary-eyed, crying

Ep 13 : None

Ep 14 : Anxious, ears ringing, manages to calm himself down

Ep 15 : Shocked — Leaning on a wall, crying, shaky breathing, half-collapses on the ground

Ep 16 : None

>> More Whump Lists

#whump list #king the land #asian whump #whump #lee junho #kdrama #korean drama

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btshoseong · 10 months

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👣. !!: HIS BACKGROUND ‧₊˚

↺ 💌 ࣪ ˖ ∿ author’s note , @ tw for : childbirth , burglary , mentions of abuse , child abuse ( burglars who rob seong’s house knock him unconscious ) , eating disorder ( seong is made fun of for being malnourished, loss of appetite with eating ) , mentions of fainting , mentions of suicide , mentions of mental health ( survivor’s guilt and ptsd ) , mentions of death threats

wow i legit was not expecting to add so many triggers but baby seongie has really been through it bro, kinda nearly teared up at one point writing this 🥲 anyways enjoy.

⊂ HIS ✶ CHILDHOOD ⊃

PARK HOSEONG was born on December 30th, 1994 to parents Park Jaehyeong and Park Mina within Buk-gu District, Daegu, South Korea. Hoseong recalls his mother telling him about the birth, and how it had actually taken place right at home in their little bathtub due to some flooding in the area. It had been a very risky endeavour, but luckily Hoseong had come out healthy, immediately crying for his mother who would coo as she coddled him close.

GROWING UP, THEY were pretty well off. Of course, they weren’t exactly rich, but they had enough money to comfortably get by at the time due to Jaehyeong’s years travelling as a musician with his band. He had accumulated some wealth for them to move into a small two bedroom apartment where Hoseong was offered a room to himself whilst his parents shared the other. Life was doing them well, and about four years after Hoseong’s birth, his little sister would then be born too.

EVEN BEFORE SHE had come out of the womb, Hoseong had adored his little sister dearly. He would often come up to his mother almost everyday and would ask her if it’s time yet, to which his mother would laugh at him and tell him “she needs a little more time than just a couple of days if you want her to be strong enough to play with you”. Hoseong would sing songs to his little sister a lot, often rubbing his mother’s belly and getting so excited when she would kick. He really just enjoyed the idea of having someone to play with, to take care of and protect. He was very good at being a brother figure.

IT WAS AROUND SIX years of age, though, when Hoseong and his family’s lives would truly be turned upside down. He was so young; it was a terrible event to have to endure. His parents had taken his little sister, Park Sohee, with them to buy some new clothes as she was getting older. Hoseong had decided he would stay at home with a babysitter. The girl was their neighbour’s daughter and attended high school, and even she had suffered at the hands of the bastards that had burgled their home that night.

HIDING UNDER THE table in his bedroom, Hoseong was advised to cover his ears tightly, and that no matter what, he wasn’t to come out of that room. He still hears her screams to this day – how she had begged for them to leave, and how she’d defended his home ultimately to fall victim to their ghastly abuse. They had taken everything. They barely left a trace of his old life.

THE SCREAMING, the kicking and crying and punching. It had been too much for him. He knew this girl – she’d always been so sweet, and would take care of him even when he threw tantrums sometimes, and the people outside his bedroom door were clearly hurting her badly. He knew he was advised against it, but he’d opened that door and fought tooth and nail, until his last breath before he was knocked unconscious completely. He still has the scar from when he’d hit the table as he collapsed.

HIS PARENTS HAD probably never recovered either. They had come back to a nearly empty house, with their son on the floor and bleeding from an injury to his head. The babysitter was in a far worse condition beside him. She hadn’t been able to go back to normal life after that. Her face was never the same, and her parents blamed the Park family for all of it. Hoseong had recovered far better, after all. Why was he so lucky?

AFTER THIS INCIDENT, they had nothing. Nobody would help them, and they had to sell the house in order to pay for daily necessities such as tuition fees and food. Jaehyeong used some of the spare cash that he received from his street singing in order to pay for Hoseong’s judo classes. He wanted his son to be able to defend himself from such incidents if they were to occur again. His parents had sacrificed a lot for him.

⊂ PRE ✶ DEBUT ⊃

AS HOSEONG PROGRESSED into his teenage years, he started to understand more deeply about the situation his family was in. His mother tried to find a job, but she wasn’t educated enough to earn high wages. Jaehyeong was working a few odd jobs, from his singing to delivering newspapers and magazines, carrying loads and dumping them into trucks. Hoseong wanted to start helping out more actively so by the age of 13, he had been able to obtain a work permit in his name.

HIS PARENTS HAVE ALWAYS tried very hard to put food on the table for Hoseong and Sohee, but because his sister was so much younger, they would pay more attention to her needs. Hoseong never took it to heart. He had grown to be mature very quickly in these circumstances, and would often share his own meals and put the food on Sohee’s plate. This meant that he was pretty malnourished himself, and so many employers wouldn’t take him on in case he collapsed due to exhaustion or other issues. That meant that Hoseong, too, could only complete odd jobs in order to support his parents and sister.

HE WORKED TIRELESSLY. As soon as he would arrive home from school, he would be leaving just as quickly to earn some extra cash. His main motivation was to never let Sohee feel the losses of poverty. He didn’t want her to have to pass up on good opportunities or feel ashamed of their family situation, and so a lot of the money he earned would go to her studies, books and clothes. He only ever had time to himself during the night where he would sometimes stay up to watch reruns of M Countdown.

HIS FATHER HAD CAUGHT him singing to himself on more than one occasion. Hoseong, although untrained, still had a beautiful singing voice in Jaehyeong’s eyes. He had asked Hoseong if he wanted to accompany him whenever he would go out to sing on the streets of Daegu – not as a part time job, but to live. Jaehyeong had always used singing as his outlet for all the things that he wished to run away from, and it seemed to be that his talent was passed down to Hoseong too. The boy had agreed with wide eyes.

AND THAT WAS HOW HE had been scouted by JYP. He had many original songs he would write in his free time, and his dad had given him the opportunity to be able to sing these in public to an audience that absolutely adored him. He remembers so many big names, talent agencies contacting his dad asking him to audition for them, and he did. He was accepted into JYP with open arms, and he had actually been a trainee there for one solid year before finding out about GLOSS being recruited into Bighit Entertainment.

GLOSS WAS A PRETTY recognised name within the underground rap scene in Daegu. Hoseong would hear comments about him from people when he was working, and even from classmates who would actually attend these battles that took place. He’d only attended the underground rap scene once, and GLOSS had been the most vivid memory of his night there. He knew the man had talent, and even looked up to his lyrics, so hearing him be recruited into another company only meant he had to follow suit.

HOSEONG HAD JOINED Bighit Entertainment because of Min Yoongi. Honestly, he wasn’t entirely sure of taking such a big step. Bighit, at the time, had no reputation at all. They were a small company with minimal experience, and JYP had far more to offer him, but his instincts had told him to take the risk, and honestly as the years went by during his trainee period, he was beginning to at least be thankful to the friends he had made along the way.

OF COURSE IT WASN’T all sunshines and rainbows. He knew he had to work hard in order to excel and shine, especially after finding out this was supposed to be a hip-hop group in the end. He needed to learn rap, needed to learn dance, and maintain an ideal weight if he wished to not be belittled or kicked from the company.

A LOT OF THE BOYS THERE would actually make fun of Hoseong’s appearance behind his back. He dealt with a lot of self image issues, and ate even less as a result of his lost appetite. He knew maintaining a low weight was the ideal for debuting and being accepted in the eyes of the staff, so he had actually found it as a win that he didn’t eat so much. It was only Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok who would actively encourage him to eat more.

AS THE YEARS WENT BY, more trainees would join. This meant more competition for Hoseong who would work day and night to perfect every aspect of his craft for monthly evaluations. He would collapse from over exhaustion sometimes after practicing so late into the night and not getting enough sleep. Debuting meant more to him than anything, because if he didn’t debut, then his parents’ sacrifices would have been for nothing. Him being here wasn’t for him, but for his parents. He needed to give back for all that they had lost, for pushing through even when they were at their lowest point.

HIS BIGGEST WISH WAS to make sure his parents never felt the pain of poverty again.

⊂ DEBUT ✶ & BEYOND ⊃

HOSEONG HAD CRIED for hours on the day their debut was announced. He always kept low expectations in order to not be disappointed, and so when he first heard the news, he had genuinely thought it was some sort of prank. It had taken all of the members collectively to convince him that yes, this was really real. None of them had known what to do, but they ended up having a long cookout late into the night together. It had been a fond memory.

WHAT HADN’T BEEN A fond memory, however, was the mistreatment that they would face in the following years after. They were aware that they had to work twice as hard to be recognised since they were from such a small company, but Hoseong particularly remembers the way they were ignored by media outlets and belittled for their concept. He understood that not everybody savoured hip-hop, but receiving so many dismissals for a request to simply spread their message with people seemed just a little malicious.

AND THEN, NOT EVEN three years into their debut, Hoseong was informed that Park Sohee had died by suicide. He had to deal with so much grief, later finding out that his little sister was being bullied in school because of her poor background and her brother’s “flop group”. She couldn’t handle all of the insults. She internalised them to a point that she believed the only way out was by suicide. Hoseong couldn’t have felt more guilty. He had to take a break from the group’s projects and even developed survivor’s guilt and PTSD which he needed to attend therapy for. His life felt like it was collapsing all over again.

THE GROUP WOULD RECEIVE continuous criticism and death threats. They were hated by fans of other groups and received shady comments from some sunbaes, and all of these experiences were hardest for Hoseong to bare. The members knew he was in a vulnerable place, and so instead of listening to all of these outsiders, they began to encourage each other more. Namjoon was one of the biggest forces during this time in Hoseong’s life and the group’s image. He helped Hoseong to push through, always telling him about how they would have the last laugh.

FAST FORWARD TO AROUND 2O16, and things were finally starting to look up a little bit. They had won their very first Daesang, and Hoseong doesn’t think he could have been happier than he was in that moment. He remembers that even his parents had called him that night, crying as they congratulated him for his hard work and recognition. He deserved this, and that first win simply solidified his resolve to keep going.

THEIR LOVE YOURSELF SERIES had been Hoseong’s favourite. It was the era; one that showered him with so much love and care from ARMY that he couldn’t help but break down into tears on stage. It was an overwhelming experience, and a very healing one as well. With everyone’s help, he had begun to truly understand what it was like to let go and start to love himself. He doesn’t think he could ever truly go back to the way things were without ARMY.

STEADILY, THROUGH THEIR UPS and their downs, BTS’s career would skyrocket into international stardom. There was no way but up now, and they began to grow and grow, larger and larger, all the way until their present day today. Chapter 1 has been such a glorious ride; Hoseong has grown and gained new experiences and insights, and he honestly wishes to continue his career as an idol for far more years to come.

THEIR SUCCESS HAS IMPACTED him in a way where he just doesn’t have any words. Sometimes a little voice will creep in to ask him if he really deserves it, but it is quashed quickly by the everlasting love that he receives no matter where he is. There’s people talking about him from all walks of life, telling others about how he helped them overcome many of their own difficulties, or how sweet he is and just how much he gives back to fans too.

IF SOMEONE WERE TO ASK HIM if he’s achieved his dream, he thinks he could finally say yes and mean it.

💬 — HOSEONG’S TAGLIST.

@pandorasword , @ateezsora , @bts-dream , @fairiepoems , @kaitieskidmore97

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therealjordan23 · 2 years

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You know, there are at least one thousand things about the season finale of TOH that I can pick apart and analyze. But no, I just want to talk about the ending.

Those stances. The way our gang were standing… I mean whoever animated that shot alone deserves a raise. Those stances scream everything. You guys know I'm a sucker for analyzing body language, so let's dive in:

Willow: Her just standing there with a hand on her arm, while her expression has a hint of sadness/shock. Given everything that she and her friends have just gone through, it's understandable. From the framing, it looks like she's standing behind Amity, almost as if she's afraid of what's behind that door. I think she might not trust who's behind that door, as this is her first time venturing into a realm that's normal. I feel like she's in shock, because immediately going from a place where she's fighting for her life, to being invited into a safe place to rest/gather herself is a complete 180⁰. I also see total physical and emotional exhaustion. I mean, this girl just exerted all her strength into fighting.

Amity: Shocked, but composed and postured. She doesn't really know what to feel or expect. She knows this is the first time meeting her girlfriend's mother, and despite being battered and bruised, she needs to make a good first impression. Though, despite all this, her expression is blank. She left behind not only her home, but siblings and father, while not knowing if they survived the Draining Spell or not. Heavy burden to carry, but she knows she's in a position where she can't do much. She can't go back nor can she contact them. So for now, making a good impression on Luz's mother would be sufficient enough.

Luz: Dejected. Defeated. Almost empty inside. She, firsthand, just witnessed King sacrifice himself to save them, all with the full intention of sacrificing herself too. She doesn't know if Eda, Hooty, Lilith or anyone is okay, and now she left what is essentially her little brother in the hands of The Collector. And looking back on Luz's expressions while being in the presence of The Collector, we know that he absolutely terrifies her. And Luz has had her fair share of scary situations.

When her mother first opens the door, it takes her a while to register that her mother is standing in front of her. We all know Luz is a sucker for hiding her emotions under fake smiles, and that's exactly what she does. When she looks up to see her mother for the first time in months, she tries putting on a brave face. She dons a weak smile, because she owes it to her. Camilla doesn't know what's been going on, and Luz knows she needs to convince her mother that despite these bruises and injuries… she's home.

Gus: This one absolutely broke me. The way he's shivering, looking small and innocent. The way he looks at Camila for any hope or answers. It's just very eye opening considering his role in the episode—the entire episode, Gus was acting as a sort of big brother/protector for King. Asking King if he was okay, calling him buddy, and reassuring him that everything was okay when they weren't. Just the little things. Gus had to be strong for King's sake.

So, to see the literal support system of this episode break down into tears is stunning. We've all been assuming Gus was the strong one, but when he realizes what just happened—the fact that his friends, family, are at home left behind to endure an impossible to predict future—it hits him hard. He does what anyone would do, and cries. Gus was the first one to break down, collapsing onto his knees in anguish. He's the first to begin crying, and letting loose everything pent up inside.

Hunter: I loved his expression. The way he was trying to be strong for Gus' sake, with his arm wrapped around his shoulder, comforting him? It's almost hard to remember all the shit he's just gone through: he just witnessed his "uncle" (yes, he's a dick, but there's definitely still some feelings there) Belos being annihilated by this assumed child with godlike powers, had to walk in his remains to get to safety, and this isn't even taking into consideration Hunter's general trauma.

So, it's safe to say season 2 ended off with a literal bang. I love the subtle details. Everything about this episode was *chefs kiss*.

#the owl house #luz noceda #amity blight #willow park #gus porter #hunter the golden guard #the owl house hunter #king the king of demons #king clawthorne #TOH #eda clawthorne #hooty #hooty clawthorne #king's tide

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dragonfander101 · 2 years

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⚠️TOH SPOILERS⚠️

I watched the new Owl House episode……

I’m crying…..

At the beginning I had to pause immediately cause the Collector sounded like a terrified little kid and I just—

We finally know why Amity is called Mittens…….

When Alador was like “Ugghhh your mother….”

Odalia and him definitely got a divorce lmao

What the fuck was going on with Belos’s (or Phillip as he told Luz to call him but I hate him so I’m going to keep calling him Belos, cause fuck him) scar– mark thing

He’s such I freaking liar I hate him.

He promised The Collector…… A LITTLE KID….. that he would free them and he didn’t…….

Luz was so freaking smart with the Sigil

The Collector is so freaking adorable I kinda love him ngl……

They didn’t really seem evil to me….

More like….. a mischievous little kid

WTF IS BELOS

HE LOOKED LIKE THE PALISMAN SOUL CREATURE THAT WAS IN HIS MIND

He’s definitely not human though…….. at least…… not anymore……

When Hunter saved Gus I was just like— “YEAH SAVE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER”

The way Luz and Amity protected each other…..

The way Willow and Hunter protected each other…..

When Belos’s face transformed back when he saw Hunter…. That looked so fucking creepy….. but then he turned back when he saw Flapjack…….. I think he recognized him

The way the Collector just splattered him against the wall was simultaneously gross and satisfying lol

Hunter’s face when that happened though…..

How Raine just took Eda’s arm off to save her……. That was so smart I swear—

And when they collapsed on Eda’s lap. I’m crying

The little piece of Belos goop that landed on Hunter….. that’s not gonna be good….. fuck

They way King sacrifices himself at the end……..

He called Luz his big sister…….

Speaking of King…… his skull was cracked….. like in the promo art.

I’m glad his skull didn’t come off……

Then when Camila opened the door because of the knock…….. all the kids (especially Luz) had so many scars and I just— *cries*

The “Hey mom….. I’m back….” Luz sounded so broken….. just— MY BABY

I’m shaking because of this episode I—

#the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #kings tide #luz noceda #belos wittebane #philip wittebane #the collector #he was so adorable #amity blight #lumity #raeda #huntlow #winter #luzity

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mimiri22-6 · 2 years

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Just watched the newest owl house episode, thoughts?

Oh my god oh my fucking christ holy shit fuck oh fuck oh my fucking god holy fuck oh shit oh god o fuck me oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh shit damn christ christ fuck

Biggest shit to come to mind in no order

EDA DOESN'T HAVE AN ARM, NOT LIKE SHE HAD ENOUGH GOING ON JUST TAKE HER ARM I GUESS FUCK

HUMAN REALM S3?!

8-9 YO KING WALKING THROUGH A HUNTER GRAVEYARD, AND KIKIBITCH ALREADY KNEW ABOUT IT FUCK, TO MAKE A FAKE DEAL WITH AN ACTUAL GOD OF THE DEMON REALM OH FUCK WHY DID THE THEORIES HAVE TO BE RIGHT

HUNTER THROUGHOUT THAT ENTIRE SITUATION

THE COLLECTOR JUST FUCKING MOVED THE MOON OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!!!!

BELOS IS A DEAD STAIN ON THE WALL HOLY SHIT

BUT GOOP IS ON HUNTER NOW OH FUCKING CHRIST HELP THESE KIDS FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

GUS COLLAPSING AFTER KING SAVES LUZ!!! NOOOO!! HE'S CRYING! IM GONNA START CRYING, GUS PLEASE!

LUZ ALMOST FUCKING DIED MULTIPLE TIMES IN ONE EP WHAT THE FUCK, DANA AND CREW!? INSANE SHIT!!!

WHERE TF DID KIKI EVEN GO?!???

Camila just got a housefull of traumatized teens on her deck. Ma'am, put on your best mamà pants because this is gonna be a lot

Shit shit shit how could I forget LUZ DUPED PHILIP FUCKING YES! GET HOS ASS, GIRL!!!

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ghostlyfae23 · 2 years

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*inhales* ( ~ _ ~ ) .. Y’all.. *exhales*

This boi..

This PRECIOUS BOI right here.

HAS SEEN SOME SCHEISSE!

Not only has Gus witness Philip murder his own brother, but also learns that his realm’s emperor was human. INCLUDING, Gus probably has figured out that Hunter is a grimwalker based on the painting of the first GG (with his hand sticking out of the ground) being shown. To us, we only get to see the illustrations - but for Gus, he most likely witnessed everything Philip has done in full view.

Just seeing Gus cry and collapsing to the ground </3 it’s so heartbreaking ( ; m ; ) No child should have to see and go through that.

At least Hunter is pulling his big bro genes and comforting Gus ( T u T ) <3

But even then, I can’t help but feel hopeless when looking at each of these kids’ faces. They’ve all been through so much and are trying their best to keep themselves together </3

Willow looking uncertain of what to do, Amity trying to appear upheld but her eyes shows weariness, Luz is scared but is relieved to see her mami again, Gus looks cold and shaken, and Hunter.. Well, let’s say he’s probably used to this by now and is more concerned about his peers (particularly Gus in this scene).

However, back on topic, Gus now knowing that Belos was a human and learning about Hunter’s secret, he’s gonna have some major questions for both Luz and Hunter. And they better be upfront with him when he asks, even if it’s hard to answer.

#toh s2b #toh spoilers #toh s2 finale #king's tide #gus porter #philip wittebane #caleb wittebane #the first grimwalker

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phoenix-pheces · 11 months

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Finally time for part three!!! Please see the list of trigger warnings below. I was considering adding an epilogue, so please let me know if that’s something you would read! Once again, credit to @turquoisespace35 for this AU.

Trigger Warnings: Death, Graphic Violence, Weaponry, Body Horror

—————————————

Bleeding Hearts - 3/3

“Look away!” Luz screamed, shielding Amity’s body with hers. The king’s eyes melted from white and brown to pure red. His bloody torso now met a long, scaly underbelly. Each of the snakes now protruding from his skull was covered in bits of bone. They writhed angrily, hissing even at each other.

Gus turned away from the king and ran to Willow. He dropped down to her side.

“Willow,” he said gently, “I’m so sorry. I can watch over him, but we need your help.”

She set Hunter down, burying a new wave of grief as he laid unmoving. She unsheathed the dagger she had taken from the armory. The hilt was cold in her hand, but she was more concerned with the blade. The tip was blunter than she would have preferred.

For anyone else, it may have been a life or death difference.

She gripped the dagger tightly as she approached the king. She kept her eyes to the ground. He turned to face her and slowly slithered forward.

“Come now,” he said with a snarl. “Chin up, you can be the first to join that creature in the grave.” He reached to touch her face and she smacked his arm away.

Every memory of her time with Hunter was flashing through her mind. The apple pile he had made for her. Watching the sunsets before bed. Their first kiss. Telling him everything about her kingdom, dreaming of bringing him to see it for himself.

This wasn’t how their story was supposed to end. The king snarled.

“I thought even you might appreciate mercy, but I suppose I don’t particularly care how this plays out.

“You know nothing of mercy.”

Willow met his eyes, and he stumbled backwards in shock.

“How-“

“Don’t you remember why you picked me?” With every step she took towards him, the king scrambled backwards. She was faster. “You needed an easy target, someone who you thought couldn’t even defend herself. You thought those gates would be open in a day.”

Willow grabbed the king by the neck and he let out a bloodcurdling shriek.

“Stop! You wouldn’t-“

“You have no idea what I am capable of.”

She drove the dagger into his heart. The king pushed himself off of her, writhing in pain. He roughly drew the dagger from his chest and threw it to the ground. He attempted to flee, but it wasn’t long before the effort overcame him and he collapsed in a bleeding, cursing heap.

Willow sank to her knees, feeling hollow. It didn’t matter that the king deserved it, she felt just as monstrous. His blood was all over her, and it was a feeling she was certain no bath would ever cleanse.

“Willow!”

Her friends ran to her and tightly embraced her. Safe in their arms, she let herself cry once again. She wasn’t alone in her horror and grief. Amity had buried her head in Luz’s shoulder, and Gus was staring blankly at the ground. They stayed packed together for some time, until Luz spoke.

“If you want us to, we’ll help move him”

Amity tried to shush her, but Willow nodded. They made their way to Hunter’s body. Willow took his hand, its warmth completely gone.

“I’m so sorry Hunter.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, my child.”

Willow turned in shock. Behind her stood a large woman with red locks. She emitted a warm, golden light. She donned the kingdom’s traditional decorative armor, and perched atop her helmet was a small white raven: the symbol of the kingdom’s goddess Lilith. She approached and placed her hand on Willow’s shoulder.

“You did your best to protect him. I thought I had too, but I can see that my efforts have caused more harm than good.”

She placed a hand on Hunter’s chest, and he too began to emit a warm golden glow.

“When he wakes, he’ll be able to control his powers,” she said with a sad smile. “I should have freed him from that burden a long time ago.”

“When he wakes up?” The words barely made it past Willow’s lips.

Lilith nodded. Her body began to separate. Small golden orbs floated off of her. She took the raven off her head and stroked his beak.

“Watch over them for me, won’t you?”

The raven squawked happily, and took off to perch on a nearby rooftop. The goddess’s body was nearly gone. With tears in her eyes, she spoke once more to all four of them.

“Take care of each other, and tell Hunter I’ll see him again someday.”

As the last of the goddess’s form disappeared, Hunter’s wounds began to close. The warmth of the goddess’s magic faded, but his body was no longer cold. His chest rose, and his eyes flew open.

“Willow! Willow?”

She tackled him in a hug. Nearly knocked over, Hunter wrapped his arms around her too. His snakes peppered her with nuzzles and soft flicks of their tongues. He gently kissed Willow’ temple, and they both pulled away with tears in their eyes. Willow took his hand in hers.

“We saw Lilith, did you-“

“I already know,” he said sadly, placing his other hand on his chest. “I could feel it.”

He paused, moving his hand to his forehead.

“There’s something else, isn’t there? Something feels off.”

Luz cleared her throat and attempted to bravely march to their side. She wasn’t hiding her fear very well, but who could blame her after the day they’d been having?

She sat down next to Willow, put a hand on Hunter’s shoulder, and looked in his eyes.

“Nice to see you?”

“Woah! Hey!” Hunter instinctively shot his eyes down and scrambled backwards, then brought his gaze back to Luz in shock. “It’s…gone?”

“Not entirely,” Willow answered. “She said you could control it now.”

Hunter covered his eyes with his palms. The snakes hissed and their eyes turned a deep red, then suddenly stopped. He removed his hands in disbelief. Tears began to stream down his cheeks. Willow embraced him again, but this time the others joined her. For the first time, all of them were together and unafraid of what was coming next.

For now, that was all they needed.

#huntlow #huntlow au #hunter toh #willow toh #the owl house #toh #toh au #toh fic #fic

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drabbles-of-writing · 2 years

Text

The Lone Mourner: Epitaph

AO3

Eulogy

Summary: Maybe Hunter wouldn’t have liked any of them. Maybe none of them would’ve liked him. Maybe it was a good thing they never met in person, because he knows all too well how disappointingly horrific family can be. Maybe all of these things were true, or maybe they weren't. They still deserved better than this. They deserved to be remembered, in some sense of the word. And if the last person who'd know they existed was a kid who had no right to be living in their place, then so be it. This was the least he could do. It was the only thing he could do.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The day the Emperor died, Hunter fell to his knees and sobbed.

He thinks everyone believed it was for the uncle he’d lost, the love he thought he had. And it was kind of that. But it was also plain old hysterics.

What are you even supposed to feel, when the only family you had, who was the entire reason for your existence, who gave you your whole purpose, who had killed everyone before you, and would have killed you, too, was dead? Relief? Sorrow? Do you mourn what you once thought he was, or do you mourn the present? Can you mourn that?

He’s still not sure what he was supposed to feel. If he’d ever know. All he knew was that he wasn’t going to die, at least not to Belos, and that was worth crying for in its own right. He knew he was going to live. And if all these people who cared about him (for reasons he’d probably never understand) had any say in that, then he’d continue to live for decades more.

He never thought he’d make it to his mid-twenties. He’s not sure why he thought that. When in the Coven, he had no reason to think he didn’t have a great future ahead of him. Maybe it was knowing how close the Day of Unity was, and some part of him thinking that once the Day came, that’d be it. Maybe he didn’t dare hope for such a possibility. Maybe it was some remembrance of dozens of others before him who never got to live as long as him.

He doesn’t remember much of the day after that. When the Emperor was dead, and word spread around, Hunter was in too much of an adrenaline rush, and shock, to process anything other than he was alive, and Belos wasn’t going to kill him or anyone else he cared about.

After he fell, it was a bit of a blur. He knows Gus was there, and he knows he could barely see anything through his tears as Gus hugged him, saying words he would never remember but knew meant so much in the moment. He knows Willow was there, at his other side and reassuring him and promising she’d repeat her words over and over until he stopped gasping for breath like a dying man. He wasn’t dying. He was going to live.

He knows Luz found them. He knows she tried to help him to his feet and they buckled underneath him. He knew her own knees were weak, so she just laughed, wet and delirious and mad as she collapsed next to them. And he knows she was crying, too.

He knew there were other people with them. He thinks it was Eda. Maybe it was Raine. Maybe it was Lilith. Maybe it was a wide assortment of people who weren’t going to hurt him or let anyone else hurt him again. But he knows there were other people around him when Darius arrived.

He knew that Darius almost died. Knew that practically everyone almost died, multiple times, but that was the first thought that hit him when Darius crouched before him, reaching out with hesitant hands.

He knows that Darius cared about him. Knows that he’d first found him at Hexside, scared, and he remembers it well because Darius had never been scared. He remembered it because Darius nearly got his head knocked in by a horde of students until Hunter showed up, and he looked so relieved he almost cried.

He was crying, now. And Hunter was the one who snagged his arms and pulled himself close and buried his face in his chest and trembled. And Darius was the one to wrap his arms around him and say more words he wouldn't recall, but would know they caused him to break into full-body sobs all over again.

He knows that he was carried out of the ruins. He’s pretty sure it was Darius, he doesn’t think he could’ve let him go if he tried. He remembers a hand in his hair, another on his shoulder, another squeezing his arms. He remembered feeling a bit embarrassed by all the comforts, but when he saw faces streaked with tears, blood and mud, eyes foggy and trying to accept the fact that they won, he realized they were doing it for themselves, too.

He understood it. It was easier to focus on other people than it was yourself. He knows that they were just as worried for everyone else. And that when they were finally on their own, they’d cry for themselves, too.

He knows he was carried somewhere safe, though he wouldn’t know exactly where. But he knew, without a doubt, for the first time in his life, that he was safe. That they could take him anywhere in the world, and he’d be safe. So he didn’t care, and he let his eyes close.

The day the Emperor died, Hunter finally started to live.

A few days later, funerals were held.

Hunter didn’t go to most of them. Couldn’t, because he was still breaking down at random intervals at just about everything, and most everyone was too worried to let him outside. Wouldn’t, because nobody in all the Isles would want the former Golden Guard at their loved ones funeral.

Even if he was deceived by Belos, even if he was just a kid, even if he held regret and guilt over every soul lost, even if he apologized over and over again, there would be people who wouldn’t want him there. Raine told him no self-respecting person would blame him for something he was tricked into believing was right, but he can’t believe that. Any self-respecting person had a right to blame him for every order he carried out.

Witches had died because of him. Not by his hands, but by his orders. By the squadrons he’d led, by the information he told, by the blind eyes he refused to turn. Witches had been petrified in secret, or killed by bloodier means, because of him. Regardless of what he thought was right, that doesn’t change it.

He remembered when he first saw a dead body. It was on the floor of Belos’s throne room. He doesn’t know how old he was, eight or nine, maybe. He remembers he’d been behind the Emperor’s throne and was told to listen to all the orders he gave out, something about having a proper understanding of the job. It was boring, but he’d done it anyway, because his uncle had asked him to.

He remembered being told there was a wild witch to be held before the Emperor. He remembered being excited, because he’d never gotten to be in the same room as a wild witch before. He’d only seen them being led away in chains, or in the news. Back then, he was first starting to think up ways how wild magic could save his uncle.

He didn’t remember what the witch said. Nor her name. But he remembered her face. Dark reddish brown, with bull-like horns curving from her skull around curly, crazy hair. He remembered her teeth being way too big and snaggly for her head, that her hands were bound behind her back, thick and clawed. He remembered thinking she was scary, spitting and snarling at Belos with the might of a thousand Titan’s.

He remembered that she broke free of the chains, and guards rushed forward as she ran straight towards his uncle, eyes wild and crazed and he saw pure hatred there, but he recalled just as clearly the resignation. She thought she was ready to die.

He remembered flinching, but still reaching out from behind the throne, terrified that his uncle was going to be hurt. He remembered her eyes seeing him, and in that second, there was shock and pure, unbridled horror, and she faltered.

And then there was a pillar through her gut.

And he saw then, in the fading light from her eyes, that she wasn’t as ready to die as she thought.

He didn’t know what they did with her body. But he remembered running to his room and refusing to leave for at least a week. He thinks his uncle came in a few times, assuring that she was a cruel and wicked beast, and he hadn’t meant to kill her, not really, but justice had to be served. How could he allow such a violent thing to be out on the streets?

He knows he believed him. Even if her face seared into his mind for years to come, until he slowly started to get used to dead bodies. From wild witches to those within his Coven, it stopped affecting him as much. That was just how life was. Filled with death.

When the funerals began, Hunter watched the updates from his scroll. Darius tried to discourage him, but he ignored him. This was the least he could do.

He recognized the pictures for some of the funerals. The witches who were being mourned. He realized that they weren’t just funerals for the witches who died thanks to the Day of Unity. They were for all the wild witches who never got a public funeral, who could never be mourned in fear of what would happen to those announcing relation to such people.

They’d uncovered the graveyard of petrified witches, many of which had been broken and shattered. The outcry was all Hunter could hear about for days afterwards.

When Darius wasn’t keeping an eye on him, Hunter slipped out. Not for long, and he left a note saying where he was going, but he’d slipped out all the same. Not even Flapjack knew he left.

He bore a dark cloak and a bandana around his face, covering up as much as he could. Nobody even looked twice at him as he hurried through the streets, keeping his head down. Today was a day of silence.

There was a mass funeral for all the wild witches who went unclaimed. For those whose families still would not be tied down to them, who were still ashamed. For those whose families were dead or long-since left. For those who had no family to begin with.

All kinds of people showed up, hoping that among one of the graves was someone they knew. After all, for many, there was no way to identify a body, save for a piece of stone and lazy paperwork. All one could do was hope.

There were well over three-dozen graves. They had fifty years of mourning to do, after all.

Hunter didn’t go down to those graves. He stayed right where he was on the far hill, a silhouette in the distance watching the people move about. He knew that many of the people there were visitors, who either knew who they had lost or hadn’t lost at all. He wondered how strangers could mourn people they’d never met. If it was a sense of solidarity, or tragedy, that brought them here.

The weather wasn’t even appropriately moody. It was a normal day, if a bit chilly. The occasional cloud in the sky, the bright sun, and birds singing in the trees. To the Isles, there was nothing exceptional about today. Somehow, that made him feel worse.

“You here for the funeral, or what?’

Hunter jumped, head whirling around before immediately ducking it when he saw the witch standing there. Shit.

From the corner of his eye, he could see she was an older woman. Short and bluish in color with curving white horns and small glasses over long, floppy ears. He pointedly kept his eyes downcast and on her hoofed feet.

“Oh, um,” Hunter cleared his throat, trying to make it a bit deeper. He knows those who knew him recognized his voice, but he doesn’t know if a stranger would. “I-I mean, kind of?”

“Don’t feel like going down there, huh?” The witch chuckled, voice scratchy. “I get that.”

Hunter swallowed, and considered pulling his hood down further and hurrying off. He darted his eyes around, and she was really the only other one on the slope with him. There were a few other people standing at a distance, but they were out of immediate earshot, and most were either slowly approaching or leaving, not standing still like the two of them.

Instead, he said; “who…who are you here for, then?”

“My wife insisted on it.” The old lady shrugged, and he saw what looked like a cane in her hands, leaning forward on it. “She thinks one of them might be her great nephew.”

“Oh,” Hunter swallowed on a dry throat. “I’m–I’m sorry–”

“Ah, don’t bother.” The old lady waved him off. “I never met the kid. She didn’t talk to him much, either. But her niece loved him, so.” She shrugged.

“Ah,” Hunter said, though it didn’t make him feel any better. “Is…is the niece–?”

“Dead decades ago.” The lady said simply. “We already held a funeral for her.”

“I’m sorry.” He croaked again.

“Everyone’s sorry.” She huffed, almost sneering. “We’re all sorry. You start getting sick of it after a while.”

“Sorry. I mean–” He stuttered.

The old lady chuckled, and Hunter figured he was in the clear. He crossed his arms, head turned a bit to the side, staring off at the unmarked graves. After a while, the lady slowly stilled. He saw a flicker, and noticed a tail curling over her hoofs.

“So,” She said. “You here to claim anyone?”

“Huh? Oh!” Hunter straightened. “No, no, not–no. I didn’t…I never knew any of them.” He hunched his shoulders.

“Ah, here for support, then.” The lady nodded sagely. “You seem a bit young to be here on your own, though.”

“I’m nineteen.” He said hastily.

“No, you’re not.” The woman scoffed. “I’ve seen demons with half the height look older than you.”

“Bad genes?” Hunter tried, immediately cringing when he said it aloud.

“Sure it is.” The witch shook her head. “Besides, nineteen still seems a bit young. Especially to me, but that’s no competition.” She grinned. “You sure you’re not here to claim anyone?”

“There’s no one to claim.” He said, a bit curtly, and instantly felt bad about it. “I don’t…there’s no one.” He said, turning his head away.

“Ah,” The witch hummed, sounding something akin to sympathetic, but she didn’t press. “Anyone know you’re here, then? Don’t get a lot of kids coming here by themselves.” She said, gesturing with the handle of her cane down below.

And Hunter didn’t need to look to see who she was pointing out. There were a number of kids of all ages mingling about, actually quiet, for once. Most had at least one adult with them, but sometimes it was the adult leading them, or the kid leading. He swore he saw some kids being led by other kids. Some of them he recognized from Hexside.

“I felt bad for not coming to any of the funerals.” He admitted quietly. “It’s…I thought it’d be easier to come when nobody knew who was being mourned.”

“Was it?” She asked.

“...not really.” He admitted. “Now I just feel shitty.”

“Well, it is a funeral.” The lady pointed out, and he was quietly glad she didn’t mind his language. “I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it. Nobody’s gonna blame a kid like you for not wanting to come to these.” She said sympathetically.

“Well I can’t just…ignore it.” Hunter protested, gesturing with a hand down below. “Look at this! And it–this isn’t even half of the funerals for those that were named.” He said, voice beginning to come out scratchy in that way where he was getting close to crying again.

“Did I say you were ignoring it?” The old lady snorted. “Boy, I said you didn’t have to show up. Titan knows this place would be overrun if everyone did. It’s not your job to mourn people you never knew.”

“They still deserve to be mourned.” He said weakly, swallowing before he could start hiccuping back cries. Great, he knew this was going to happen if he talked too much.

“That, they do.” She agreed with a slow, sad nod. “For the people who can’t, or won’t, remember them. But I wouldn’t worry.” She said, offering a hand. “We’ve got plenty of people who can do that here. It’s not all up to you, you know.”

He stared down at her hand for a moment. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached out his own gloved hand. She didn’t snatch it, didn’t take it until he grasped her hand first. She gave an old, crinkled smile, squeezing it with a weak grip. He realized her hand was shaking, and wondered if it was from her age, or the situation. Maybe it was both.

“Take care of yourself, kid.” She said, “In times like these, that’s really the best way we could honor them.”

With that, she retracted her hand, shifted her weight back onto her cane, and began to hobble down the slope.

He watched her go, slowly putting his hands into his pockets. He watched as she weaved through the crowds, through the graves that only had the smallest pieces of identification to them, but still no name. He watched as she came alongside a gray, four-eyed witch of similar age, fluttering between graves as though on a search.

He watched as they slowly meandered to each grave, placing a small flower at each one. He supposed that was the best you could do, when you didn’t know which one held those you loved.

In the middle of them all lay a single large grave with more flowers than the rest. He couldn’t read it from this distance, but he knew what it said.

For All Those Uncounted

May you find rest, wherever you lay. We’re sorry we couldn’t know your names.

Of all the graves that were made, of all the funerals, Hunter had done his best to keep track and write down each one. He had a list of every name, and another for each unclaimed one. He had saved all the pictures of their faces, trying to cement the one’s he didn’t recognize to memory.

Of all the pictures, none of them resembled the witch who died at his uncle’s feet. Who faltered, just for a second, when she realized he was there. Who might have, in some stroke of luck, at least landed a good hit in, if she hadn’t seen him.

Hunter swallowed back the wail in his throat, pulled his bandana higher up his nose, and went home.

Exactly one week after the Emperor died, Hunter was piled over countless history books.

For a while, he was bouncing between houses. With Darius frequently dealing with the aftermath of the Day of Unity, being one of the few people who had some form of political experience that wasn’t trying to become another monarch, Hunter wasn’t always at his house. Sometimes he was at Raine’s, but they had the same issues as Darius. Sometimes he was at Eda’s, but she was in the midst of getting her name cleared, trying to figure out Luz’s whole situation in the human realm with her mother, and getting new stuff for her house, since she refused to crash at anyone else’s.

So, Hunter didn’t exactly have a solid place to stay for a while. He didn’t mind, but he knew that the others did. After being moved off for the fifth time in just a few days, Gus finally put his foot down and insisted that Hunter would be staying at his house until the adults got their lives sorted out.

It wasn’t all that bad. Gus’s dad was nice, if clearly out of his depth and anxious. He at first thought it was because he was, you know, the former Golden Guard, but he overheard him talking to Eda over the phone and stressing over how he’s supposed to be good enough for a kid like him. Hunter made sure to be as courteous as a saint afterwards, all the please’s and thank you’s anyone could ask for. He’s not sure if it helped.

He technically had his own room, which was really just the guest room, but he spent most nights in Gus’s. Half because they’d be talking for hours into the night, half because he couldn’t stand sitting in a dark, lonely room again. Even if he had Flapjack for company.

He thinks Perry only let them stay up so late and wake up like zombies because one night, Hunter had woken up in a screaming fit and nearly shattered a lamp in his frenzied nightmare-ridden panic. And Gus had been there in an instant, sitting next to him and squeezing his hand as he led him through those breathing exercises that should not have worked as well as they did.

In times like these, he’s grateful that nobody but those closest to him knew he was the nephew to the late Emperor, especially Perry. Word was already getting out on what the Golden Guard’s face looked like, courtesy of Belos when he first ran off, he didn't think anyone would ever look at him again if they knew his relation. He can never thank the others enough for threatening the former Coven-members to keep their traps shut. Though he thinks there are still a select few that know, scattered throughout the Isles.

Maybe it’d come back to haunt him later. But for now, he could forget.

But this wasn’t about that. Now, it was about Hunter’s room, where there were piles upon piles of papers, lists, strings tied to thumbtacks, and enough books to form a small library. It was impossible to traverse unless you created the mess yourself, and the first time Gus stepped in, Flapjack had immediately herded him out again when he stepped on some sheets of paper.

“Doing some…late night-studying?” Gus guessed, hovering in the doorway as Hunter sifted through the papers.

“Research,” He said simply, not even looking over.

“For what?” Gus asked, leaning to the side, crossing his arms.

“It’s…” Hunter hesitated, pausing as he set a piece of paper aside, three names scribbled across it, one of them maybe being a real one. “They didn’t…find everyone.” He murmured, shoulders hunching as he looked down at the book in his hands. “At the funerals.”

Gus stayed quiet for a moment, and Hunter didn’t look over. He just flipped open the book and sat on crossed legs, searching among words and words. Flapjack lay elsewhere in the room, moving aside used-up paper and to-be-read books.

“Oh, dude,” Gus said softly, and Hunter inhaled sharply at the tone. “You don’t–you can’t search for everyone.” He said, and there was the sound of paper being shuffled aside. “You’re not going to get all of them.”

“I-I know, but,” Hunter held the book tighter. “There are...Belos killed people from before he was Emperor, too. And they didn’t get graves.”

“I’m sure they had funerals.” Gus insisted, and he saw movement in the corner of his eye.

“No, they–” Hunter shuddered, mind flashing with memories of catatonic bodies twitching across the snow. “I don't mean–” He shook his head, turning and finding Gus standing above him. “There’s…I have family.” He croaked, blinking his eyes rapidly. “He…none of them were…our family. My family.” He corrected quickly. He doesn’t think they’d have wanted to be called family with Belos. Not anymore.

Gus’s expression softened further, and he gingerly sat down next to him. Hunter hadn’t told him everything, he doesn’t think he’d ever be able to tell him. He knows he has to work on that, at least three people he knows are trying to get him a therapist, but just by the fact of being Gus, he doesn’t think he could tell him. Not the whole thing, at least.

What Gus does know is this; many of the Golden Guards before Hunter were family, in some sense of the word. Belos had killed them when they rebelled, and thus he would’ve killed Hunter, too.

Some part of him thinks that maybe Luz would’ve told Gus more details. But the more he thinks about it, the less likely it feels. For as talkative as she can be, he doesn't think she’d share something like that.

“Can I help?” Gus asked quietly.

He thinks Gus knew enough.

“Yeah,” He cracked, hesitantly grabbing the list of names he’d previously set aside and handing it over. “It–I think one of these names was from someone in…in the first few years of Belos’s reign. I don’t know which one is right.”

“I think I can do that.” Gus said, giving a gentle smile as he took it, other hand laying across his shoulder. “Just don’t lose sleep over this, alright?”

“No promises,” He teased, empty and a bit pathetic.

“Good enough,” Is all Gus said, and then his hand slipped away, and he got back to work.

For not the first time, Hunter wondered how anyone could’ve mocked Gus for anything. How he could’ve had a single struggle in life, when he’d always been like this. And, just like every other time, he figured Gus didn’t think the Golden Guard had any struggles either, did he?

Thirty-one hours later, Hunter was clutching a small stack of papers, a pen, and stood shifting from foot-to-foot in front of the Clawthorne house.

Not the Owl House, Clawthorne.

He almost went to Eda for this. But he doubted she’d know anything of her family history, considering she didn’t seem like the type and never brought it up after the whole…vaguely uncomfortable reveal. Of all the people he could be related to, Eda certainly wasn’t the worst, but if he could redo the whole situation again, he would.

Lilith might have known, she was a nerd like that. But he’d rather live in a damp basement than be caught going to Lilith to ask about her (their. It was theirs, and he didn’t think he’d ever get used to that) family history. It was a mix of a rivalry starting far back in their Coven days, and also not wanting to listen to her go off for hours on end in awkward conversation.

So, he was at the Clawthorne home. After texting Gus saying that Flapjack was taking him to see a few palisman friends for a bit. It’s not that he wanted to lie, it’s just that Gus would start asking questions. And probably want to come with him.

Besides, sometimes, Flapjack did drag him to some of the Bat Queen’s hideouts to show him off to his palismen buddies. He’d had four hundred years or so to live with them, and many of the palismen, while certainly old, weren’t all that old. He was apparently an elder of sorts among the palismen, and thought the younger ones would’ve wanted to meet him. Something about getting used to being around witches (if he could be called that) who weren’t going to hurt them.

But that's another story. The story now was this; Hunter knocked on the front door.

And a large, heavily scarred man opened it.

Hunter had seen Dell before. Briefly. Gwen had been the one who talked to him for a few minutes while he was at Eda’s house for a bit, and Dell had been there with her. They’d made eye contact for a moment before Hunter scurried off elsewhere in the house, not keen on listening to more of Gwen’s cooing.

Even still, he was kind of hoping to see her. She, at least, was familiar. And he had hoped she was the direct descendant, not her husband.

“Oh,” Hunter said, bringing a hand up to halfway cover Flapjack on instinct. “S-sorry, sir, is Mrs. Clawthorne here?”

“Gwen’s off with Lilith.” Dell said, eye flicking over him. “You’re Hunter, yes?”

“Er, yeah.” Hunter mumbled, Flapjack trying to peer around his hand and tweet. “I don’t mean to–I’ll just come back another time, sorry to bother–”

A tiny, yellow bird poked up on Dell’s shoulder, emerging from his hair. Flapjack practically sprung upright, chittering and warbling so loud it made Hunter wince and lean away.

The yellow palisman, which was evidently also a cardinal, shot off Dell’s shoulder. Flapjack was up in the air a second later, the two slamming into each other midair.

“Flapjack!” Hunter squawked, reaching forward and nearly getting his hand nicked as the two tumbled to the ground in a heap. “Get off! You can’t–oh for the love of–”

“Easy there, boy.” Dell said, holding out a hand and giving him pause. “It’s been a while since they’ve seen each other.”

“Eh?” Hunter squinted at him, ears flicking as he looked back down to the palismen–

Flapjack was all but shoving his head into the yellow cardinal’s neck, wings doing that ruffling flapping thing he did whenever he got overly excited. The yellow cardinal was warbling a high-pitched song, tail shaking as it greeted his palisman.

“It’s been a few years since he’s visited us.” Dell said with a weary, fond smile.

“Visited?” Hunter echoed, staring between him and the palismen.

“It’s a bit of a story.” Dell said. “Is there something we can help you with, Hunter?”

“Oh, uh,” Hunter shook his head, snapping out of it. “I mean, I don’t…I just,” He swallowed, looking down at Flapjack, who was now hopping around the yellow cardinal in circles and chattering up a storm. “I was curious,” He got out. “A-about an…ancestor of yours. If you know anything, of course, I didn’t want to–”

“Caleb?” Dell guessed, and Hunter’s mouth shut with a click.

That, of all the names, had been the one he didn’t need to search for. Belos had told him, after all. Caleb Wittebane, eldest son of the Wittebane’s, Flapjack’s original carver, trusting to a fault, and so very, painfully, human. Knowing he'd once bore that name as his own still made him sick.

“Lilith didn’t tell me much,” Dell continued at Hunter’s silence. “But she told me something about there being a relation between us Clawthorne’s and you through him.”

“Something like that.” Hunter croaked.

“Well, in that case,” Dell said, taking a step to the side of the doorway. “You’re in luck. He’s one of the few ancestors my family keeps talking about. You can thank Pancake for that.” He said with a downwards tilt of his head.

At the name, the yellow cardinal raised its head, giving a chirp before Flapjack accidentally batted it in the face, and promptly got some annoyed little shrieks sent his way and a cuff over the head.

“Pancake?” Hunter ended up repeating, squinting.

“I’d be happy to explain more inside.” Dell offered, gesturing behind him. “Or outside, if you’d prefer.”

Hunter considered for a moment. He looked down at the two cardinals, alight with energy that fluctuated from excitement to mild annoyance. He noticed, then, that the yellow cardinal–Pancake–had a small, deep gash across the bridge of its beak.

“Inside is fine.” Hunter said, and Dell’s smile broadened, just a smidge.

“Glad to hear it. Come along,” He said with a jerk of his head, turning away and back into his home.

The palismen perked up instantly, chittering and taking off after him in a flurry of wingbeats. Some loyalty they had.

Hunter swallowed, glanced back outside, and followed. He doubled back for only a second to shut the door behind him.

“What do you know about Caleb?” Dell called, and for an old guy, he was across the room real fast, and Hunter hastened to follow.

“Uh, not much.” Hunter admitted. “I-I know he was with one of your ancestors.” He said, glancing over the pictures lining the walls. Most of them, he noted, were of Eda and Lilith at varying ages. “I know he was human. Wait, you knew that too, right?” He froze up.

“Course we do,” Dell said, turning to the left of a doorway. “For all our great-grandsomething’s who were ashamed of it, ol’ Pancake wouldn’t let the real story go unheard.”

Pancake twittered from up ahead, and Hunter turned in the same doorway to find Dell in a small, homely little kitchen. The yellow cardinal landed on one of the counters, swiveling its head to stare straight-on at him.

Familiar! Flapjack crowed, causing Hunter to jump as the bird suddenly appeared in the air next to him, practically vibrating with excitement. Pancake says friend is familiar!

“Well yeah, obviously.” He muttered to him. “You recognized me instantly.”

“I’m actually surprised,” Dell continued, and Hunter straightened when he turned, his one good eye flicking over him. “From what Pancake has told me, Flapjack used to be Caleb’s palisman.”

“He was.” Hunter agreed, the bird in question landing on his head, because of course he did. “I still don’t get why he chose me,” Hunter said, sending a look up Flapjack’s way. “I have, however, been told I look an awful lot like him. Though he insists that’s not why he picked me.” He said with no shortage of distaste.

“Pancake’s been telling me that, too.” Dell said, turning back to the cups Hunter realized he was holding. He opened the fridge, withdrawing a filtered container of water. “Is that all you know of Caleb?”

“Er, I know he…” Hunter hesitated, thought about it for a second, and plowed on. “...had a brother.”

“Ah, yes.” Dell hummed, setting the water aside. “That, he did. Pancake has some choice words for that man.”

Pancake gave an agreeing chirp, shaking its head with a glower off into the distance. Flapjack chirped in a much sadder tone, tapping his wings against the top of Hunter’s head.

“I know he killed Caleb.” Hunter added bluntly.

“He did.” Dell sighed, shoulders slumping. “Fortunately, or, unfortunately, depending on how you are, Pancake has refused to disclose his name. His brother has gone unnamed for hundreds of years in the Clawthorne line thanks to her. I think she sees it as a sort of damnation, to leave him a forgotten body in the ground.”

Hunter turned and met Pancake’s eyes. The cardinal raised her head, meeting it dead-on with a glare. He wonders if Flapjack told her anything, in that odd palisman language he’d never decipher. He probably had, or would, and Hunter found he preferred if he did. For a palisman so old and bitter, he thinks she ought to know, even if she took it with her to the end. He’d be more than happy with that.

“Good choice,” He said, unsure if he was talking broadly or right to the palisman. “He doesn’t sound like he deserves it.”

A flash of fire, and Hunter jumped back for a moment before it was gone again. Dell barely flinched, picking up the filter and pouring it into a cup.

“My, you’re a resentful one.” Dell chuckled. “Do you like tea?”

“Uh, kind of?” Hunter said, recovering after a moment. “Raine’s been trying to buy some for me.”

“I’ll give you a cup, then.” Dell said, opening a pantry. Hunter saw him withdraw some paper towels as well, having spilled some of the water in his pouring. He tried not to stare at his obviously shaking hands.

“What do…you know about Caleb?” Hunter asked after a moment of quiet.

“As much as Pancake tells me.” Dell said, back still to Hunter. “I’m surprised Flapjack hasn’t told you any.”

“Oh, no, he-he has.” Hunter nodded, jostling the bird. “But just…mundane things, really. And he insisted that I come here to ask about him. Wouldn’t answer anything else.” He tried to glare up at him. “Now that I’m here, I think he just wanted to see Pancake.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Dell said, and then he was turning back around, gesturing to two cups of tea on the counter. “Could you carry those to the living room? I’m afraid my hands aren’t as steady as they used to be.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Hunter nodded, head ducked as he slipped through the kitchen. Both cups looked identical, so he hoped there was nothing special about one of them as he followed the witch to a living-room type area. “What has Pancake told you?”

“Well, that depends,” Dell said, slowly easing down into a rather large chair. Hunter looked around for a moment before placing the cups of tea on the coffee table and taking a seat on a smaller, fluffier chair a bit to the left of being across from him. “What do you see as ‘mundane?’”

“Pardon?” Hunter frowned.

“Most things Pancake has told me aren’t any tales of grandeur, or stories of how or why Caleb and his brother came to the demon realm.” Dell said, folding his hands together. “Why, most of what she’s told me has been about her own witch, rather than Caleb. The things she has told me are troublesome anecdotes or oddities.”

“Her own witch?” Hunter repeated.

“The ancestor he loved.” Dell nodded. “She was called Belladonna Clawthorne. And, you know, it’s the oddest thing,” Dell hummed, leaning on his knees. “We never did learn what Caleb’s last name was. We have some old records, and all we got was that he would’ve been Clawthorne if they married.”

“Guess it wasn’t really important.” Hunter shrugged, looking off to the side. “I don’t have a last name, either.”

“Permanently?” Dell raised a brow.

“I don’t know,” Hunter crossed his arms, fingers tapping along his arm. “Maybe? I’m thinking about it.”

“A respectable choice,” Dell nodded sagely. “But what are you hoping to hear about Caleb?”

“I don’t know,” He repeated, a little helplessly, and that was already putting him on edge. “Just…about him, I guess? What he was like?”

“And that is not ‘mundane?’” Dell said with a faintly amused curl to his mouth.

“The last thing Flapjack told me was that Caleb couldn’t dance.” Hunter deadpanned. “And that he was often mocked for it.”

“That is something about him, is it not?” Dell chuckled. “But, yes, I’ve heard he was a clumsy sort.” He agreed, reaching out and taking his cup of tea off the table, one hand underneath it in case any spilled out from his shaking.

Two left feet. Flapjack nodded, fluttering off Hunter’s head and onto the coffee table, Pancake following. A mess. Disaster.

Pancake chittered something, and Flapjack nodded along with that, too. She said something else, and proceeded to get a quick peck to the side of the head for it.

“Well, I’m not–” Hunter waved a hand around, grumbling. “What…I don’t know, didn’t he find witches…weird?” He finally settled on. “Cause, he…he was a human in the demon realm, and, you know. Wasn’t that…off?”

Dell’s face frowned a bit at that. Pancake bristled slightly, and Flapjack just looked defeated. Dell only sighed, taking a sip of his tea.

“I believe some writings spoke of that, too.” He nodded. “But most complaints of such things were from Pancake,” He nodded down to his palisman. “She wasn’t a fan of some of the brothers' antics, I can tell you that much.”

“Then surely Belladonna had issues, too, didn’t she?” Hunter pressed.

“Oh, most definitely. I’m told she’s had plenty of complaints about Will.” Dell said, setting his cup down and standing on creaky legs. “One moment, if you please.”

“But then why did–never mind.” Hunter muttered, watching Dell retreat into another room.

Loved him. Flapjack said, bringing Hunter’s attention back. Loved him very much.

“Why?” Hunter frowned. “How could…he was B–he was brothers with that guy.” Hunter gruffed.

Pancake chirped something, Flapjack turning to her to listen. She kept her gaze on Hunter for most of what she was saying, but occasionally darted her eyes to Flapjack. His palisman nodded as she finished, half-opening a wing in her direction.

Loved her, too. He said simply. Loved her very, very much. Changed for her. Loved her. He repeated.

Hunter opened his mouth to speak, but he caught movement out of the corner of his eye, pausing when Dell walked back in, folder in hand.

“Not much of our family was the writing sort.” He said as he set down the folder on the table. “Will, on the other hand, was. And Bella just so happened to have saved a few.”

Hunter made an instant mad grab for the folder, freezing just before his hand touched it. His eyes darted up to Dell.

“I…are you sure?” He asked, hesitant and unsure.

“They’re for you to read.” Dell said simply, picking up his tea again. “Besides, both of my daughters seem to like you, especially Eda. I figure that’s enough assurance.”

Hunter squinted for a second, looking him up and down suspiciously. Dell held his gaze for a second before slouching a bit and looking to the side as he lifted the cup to his mouth.

“And we have numerous copies.” He admitted with a mumble.

“Smart,” Hunter snorted, picking up and feeling the weight of dozens of papers within. “But, really…thank you.” He said earnestly, fiddling with the edge of it uneasily.

“Of course,” Dell said, giving him a warm smile, and left a whole heap of complicated feelings. “You’re more than welcome to take a few copies if you so wish. Nobody’s been interested in our ancestry since Lilith was small.” He said, a bit wistful.

“You don’t have to do that, sir.” Hunter said, hesitating before reaching for his own tea, now cooled and growing cold, but it’d be rude to let it sit for much longer.

“Nonsense,” Dell waved him off. “You’re a Clawthorne of some sort, aren’t you?”

“I don’t really think so.” Hunter frowned, lifting the cup. “I mean, like I said, I don’t even have a last name.”

“You don’t need a last name for that.” Dell said, Pancake flying up and onto the arm of his chair. “You may choose whomever family you wish, of course, but I am more than happy to leave a backdoor open if you’d like.” He said with a teasing wink. “Just don’t tell my daughters. I’m sure they’d have some things to say.”

Hunter stared at him for a moment, cup halfway raised. He blinked, looking down at the tea as he slowly leaned back in his chair. He could almost see his reflection back in it, scarred and crooked, bags heavy and dark. He knows the others have been working on trying to make sure he gets enough sleep, but that’s kind of hard these days. He’s not what one would call a sight for sore eyes, and not exactly one would want hanging around and muddling up the scenery, let alone knowing what little worth he has to him.

And here he was, sitting across from a man with more scars than he, hands too shaky to properly pour water, letting him hold copies of his family ancestry. Their family ancestry, without a moment’s hesitation.

“I’m honored, sir.” He said quietly, setting the folder down on his lap, trying to raise his other hand to at least moderately hide his smile.

“No need, I’d do it for any kid.” Dell said kindly. “And the ‘sir’ isn’t necessary. Dell is fine.”

“I appreciate it, Mr. Clawthorne, but I don’t think I could do that.” Hunter said plainly, and Dell laughed, a quiet, cracking sound.

“Fair enough.” He said with a smile, and Hunter let his hand fall as he returned it, crooked fangs and all.

Two days later, Hunter was standing outside Darius’s office door, a new notepad and half-dried pen in hand.

Already, it was significantly worse than the hesitation at entering the Clawthorne home. At least with them, they were strangers, and it’d just be plain awkward if worse came to worst. Well, no, the worst was that they got pissed and kicked him out, but he figured that probably wouldn’t happen. Eda and Lilith would’ve gotten ticked off.

With Darius, it was different, and Hunter was tempted to turn right back around and never let his thoughts reach vocalization. It felt like crossing a line, breaching some silent agreement. Realistically, he knew that the worst Darius would do is tell him he couldn’t answer his questions and go back to work. But that didn’t stop him from thinking up far nastier scenarios.

“Are you sure you never talked to him?” Hunter pleaded with Flapjack on his shoulder.

Never seen him. Flapjack shook his head. Didn’t meet any.

“Brilliant,” He sighed, shoulders slumping. “Maybe I could just stick to looking up records? Maybe asking Raine? Raine might’ve known him.”

Flapjack gave him a judgmental, slightly disappointed look. Hunter just sighed, back tensing as he reached out a hand and knocked on the door before he could chicken himself out of it. Just rip the band aid off. Either he said no, or he didn’t. It’s not that bad.

It was that bad.

“Come in,” Darius called, and Hunter steeled himself, took a deep breath, and pushed the door open.

Darius was at his desk, going over dozens of paperwork that had Hunter impulsively trying to peer over and read as much as he could before he got caught. A part of him itched to look at them and start doing work like how he used to. Another part of him dreaded even more paperwork, and knew Darius wouldn’t let him touch it even if he’d broken both hands.

“Hunter,” Darius greeted, sounding only a little surprised as he glanced up from his work, head still held up by his hand. He was clearly dreading it as much as Hunter would have. “Do you need something?” He asked, not accusatory, just a simple question. He was still getting used to hearing those.

“Er, are you busy?” Hunter asked first, slowly toeing the door shut behind him, even if the only other people in the house were Amber and Katya (bouncing between houses like Hunter had) and Eberwolf (uninvited).

“Not too much to talk,” Darius said, removing his hand from his cheek.

“Well, I’m just–it’s cool if you are, cause this is, it’s–” Hunter began stuttering, holding the notepad close. “It’s a whole thing that’ll probably take up a bit of time, so I didn’t want to be a bother, and I can come back at another time–”

“I’m not busy,” Darius assured again, tone still even, though he was definitely a bit amused. “Titan knows I’d take anything to put this off.” He muttered, glaring down at the papers.

“Isn’t it a bit weird taking the Titan’s name while we know a Titan?” Hunter frowned.

“Very.” His face scrunched up. “Did you want to talk about something?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah, right,” He shook his head, looking down at the empty notepad and hesitating.

He looked around for a moment and grabbed at the back of one of the chairs in the room, ones that Darius would pull up when he was having lengthy discussions with someone. He didn’t pull it out, just in case Darius said no, but the weight under his hand was grounding.

Ask, Flapjack urged gently, nudging his neck before flying off his shoulder and onto the desk. Darius spared the bird a glance before looking back to Hunter, patient. He cares.

And he knew that, he did, really, it was just…it’s one thing to know something, and another to confront it. To test it. But he had to at some point, didn’t he?

“I wanted to…” He exhaled, looked down at the ground, and grit his teeth. “Ask you about your mentor?”

It was out in a fast string of words, overlapping each other and a couple letters mispronounced. But at least it was out. And if Darius asked for clarification, then he could just brush it off, change it up, say something that sounded similar, it’s not like anyone could tell him he didn’t ask, because he did, he truly–

“Jasper?” Darius asked in such a quiet, soft voice that if Hunter wasn’t too busy focusing on the name he would’ve felt awful for making him sound like that at all.

“J–what?” Hunter jerked his head up.

“You want to ask about Jasper?” Darius frowned, something distant and recognizable in his eyes.

“That…his name was Jasper ?” Hunter cracked, voice so very, very small.

“Yes,” Darius said, slowly straightening, mouth thinned in thought. “It was."

“I...oh." Hunter said, swallowing. He remembered, once, having a name that was not his own and would never really be treated as such. Just his luck that it had to happen to him twice. "It's--sorry, I didn't meant to...to bring up any bad--"

“It’s of no matter.” Darius shook his head, waving him over. “It surprised me a bit, is all. Why do you want to know about Jasper?”

His tone was gentler now, curious. Okay, okay, that’s good. He’s not mad. Or at least, not mad enough to show it. That’s fine, he’s fine. Remember, worst case scenario, he’s told to leave. It’ll be fine. Totally.

“He’s…he was the Golden Guard before me.” Hunter mumbled, pushing the chair up in front of his desk. “And he…he was your mentor.” He said, eyes still downcast as he sat down. “It’d be…nice to know about him. Not like I’ve got a lot of nice people to learn more about, right?” He tried to crack a smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

Darius’s face fell to a frown for a moment, but he nodded all the same, crossing his arms over his desk and staring off in thought.

Truly, Hunter thinks that Darius knows about Hunter’s whole…thing. About how he wasn’t a witch. Or a human. Or even something in-between. He said some vague words to him once, but he’s pretty sure the others told him more details after the disastrous way the truth came out to them. He’s not resentful about it, honestly he’s glad that he doesn’t have to repeat it over and over again, but that’s still not…the whole story.

They know what he is. They don’t know that there were more.

Luz hasn’t said anything, so Hunter sure as hell isn’t going to. He’d rather not taint Darius’s memory of his mentor, thank you very much.

“What do you want to know?” Darius asked eventually, and Hunter straightened up, holding his notepad in his lap.

“Oh, uh, anything, I guess.” He mumbled. “I-I was going to ask for his name, but you…already gave me that, so–when were you apprenticed to him?” He tried.

“Younger than you.” Darius said, a small smile pulling at his mouth as he leaned back. “Fourteen or so. I’d actually met him before I was even in the Coven, somewhere in the marketplace.”

“What, buying produce?” Hunter raised a brow.

“Having a fight with Odalia.” Darius said with a shrug. “I may have summoned a bit of an…overly large abomination. Especially for my age.” He said, and though he sounded sheepish, he looked nothing of the sort. If anything, he was proud.

“Huh,” Hunter blinked. “So he stopped it?”

“More or less.” Darius nodded. “There were a few other meetings after that, but I recall when I was apprenticed to the Emperor’s Coven at a young age, a bit before Lilith. I already showed immense promise, and I remember hearing that the Golden Guard volunteered to look over my training.” He had a full smile, now, looking off. “Even then, I knew he only did so for a bit of fun.”

“And a fourteen-year-old was the best candidate for that?” Hunter frowned, though he scribbled down on his notepad.

“Looking back on it, I think he just wanted someone to talk to.” Darius admitted, his smile falling as he picked up a pencil, twirling it between his fingers. “He told me he was only seventeen, then.”

“...oh.” Hunter deflated, slowly removing his pen from the paper.

“I still thought he was the coolest person in the world.” He chuckled, shaking his head, though it sounded ironic, perhaps a bit bitter. “I practically grew up with him. Never since then have I had such a friend, dare I say a brother, even remotely close to him.” He said fondly, looking down at his hands with a soft smile that Hunter had only seen, what, twice before?

Hunter lay his pen against the page, watching Darius and swallowing past the lump in his throat threatening to rise. A part of him wanted to ask what happened, how long he lasted. But they had time, he reasoned, and who was he to stop Darius when he looked so at peace?

For not the first time, Hunter wondered if it was better to live now and resent what he never met, or never live at all.

He thinks Darius deserved a brother more than some random kid.

“You know, it is the oddest thing,” Darius said after a moment, and Hunter jerked his head up to see Darius was squinting at him. “Though I don’t have any pictures of his younger years, those were lost to time,”–he sounded a bit sad at that–”I still remember some things about him. And even from his more adult photos…” His eyes flicked over Hunter, and his shoulders fell. “You look a lot like him.”

Hunter froze.

“Oh,” He said, sparing a quick, terrified glance with Flapjack, who would probably only shrug if he could. “Really?” He asked, voice cracking.

“I recognized it when you first started showing your face around the Coven, you were much too young beforehand to see any similarities.” Darius said, as though he were discussing the weather. “I didn’t think much of it at first, I think I was still a bit too…bitter.” He winced at that, though Hunter had heard dozens of apologies by now. “But it really is uncanny,” He continued, the pencil no longer moving between his fingers. “even your hair is similar.”

“Weird,” Hunter cleared his throat when it came out high-pitched and broken. “Funny, huh? What are the odds? The-the Isles is a big place, you know. Any kind of…of genes could happen.” He said with a fearful, shaky smile forced onto his face.

Darius watched him for a moment longer. A distant piece of Hunter would’ve called it a test, but he doesn’t think it was that. Darius didn’t test with silences, waiting to see if he’d crack and say what he wanted to hear. Nobody did anymore. If they were silent, then either they knew, or they were thinking.

He’s not sure what Darius was.

“Yes,” Darius said evenly, nodding to himself. “Fate works in mysterious ways, doesn’t it?” He asked, one ear flicking up as he gave an easy smile.

If he knew, it’d have to have known before now, he realized. Because Darius was smiling as though it were the simplest thing in the world, with a sort of hesitant acceptance that was only a little tense around the eyes. And he wasn’t stupid, far from it. If he’d noticed a similarity before now, and he’d heard what Hunter was–

“Would you like to hear about the time he charged into a ratworm den?” Darius asked suddenly, snapping Hunter out of his thoughts. “He swore I made it up, but a baby almost bit his nose off.” He grinned, all teeth. “And, well, he’s not here to dispute it now, is he?”

Hunter stared for a second, allowing a shaky, soon-to-grow smile. Darius returned it, and he felt a little better.

So maybe he knew, maybe he would learn, or maybe he never would. He doesn’t think it matters much, does it? Jasper was always going to be Jasper. This, he’s sure of.

“Yeah,” Hunter said, letting his shoulders finally relax. “I’d love to.”

He hoped whoever Darius needed to get those papers to wasn't in a rush. He figured it didn't really matter, they could suck it up and wait for eternity for all he cared. They had much more important things to talk about.

138 notes · View notes

votestaynight · 1 year

Text

14th day "moonlight (I)"/15th day "Utopia" (scene 1)

cw; wouldn't you know it, Fate? STILL a porn game. That has not stopped being the case. Here we go again folks.

"Ha… ah――!" I put power into my right hand. I grab the ground and raise my half-sliced body.

"――!" I see Saber's face for an instant. She looks like she's about to cry. I'm proud of myself for falling in love with her.

"――Hold on. I'm not done yet." I raise my body with just one arm. My legs won't move. The magical energy that forced my body to move has depleted. The only thing remaining is my beating heart and my organs screaming in pain.

"Oh, lingering affection? I would assume so. This treasure is beyond you. I understand how you must feel. It must be really vexing to have it taken away by another man." That does it. I can't stand his talking anymore――

"I'm saying――don't talk like… you're treating… Saber… as an object――" I put power into my right arm. Is there metal in it? With a creaking noise, my body reacts to my wishes.

"Ha――ah, guh――!" I get up on one knee.

"Ku――damn, do as I tell you――" I put power into my body. As I do so, the things I need to live flow out.

"――Why? Why do you not understand that it is useless now…!?"

Saber's voice is almost insulting. She's a long way away. From a distant place, she is watching me in vexation.

"Ha――gu, guh――!" I ignore it and keep trying. Saber's voice is just a burden. Not my body nor Gilgamesh, but Saber is my greatest enemy now. Because… if she objects with an expression like that, my mind will die. Finally. My knee finally has strength, so all that's left is to stand―― "…No. I do not need your help. As I have been defeated, I am not your sword anymore…! Disappearing like this is the natural end for a Servant…!" Saber's voice. …Damn. If she interrupts me any more, I'll get mad even at her…! "No――please stop, Shirou. You cannot go on…! You will really die. I-If you die here, I will――" ――! How can she say such selfish things without knowing how I feel… "――Shut up, just be quiet for a second…! At times like this, you can rely on me…!" "That is not true, Shirou. Please do not get your priorities wrong. My life is not important. You should put your life first rather than such a thing――" She sounds like she's begging. …My mind almost collapses, thinking that I'm making her sound like that. But still―― "――I refuse. There's nothing I want more than you." I can't accept her words. "Wha――" Saber looks at me in astonishment. …I don't know why she looks like that. But I remember. She told me I was a fool who didn't know the value of his own life. I think she's right. It's too conceited for someone who can't even think about himself to try to help someone else. That's just complacent happiness, and it's an unstable happiness for the other party. The most important person is yourself. That kind of person probably can become happy and share their happiness. "…Yeah. I'm certainly a fool who doesn't consider his own life." I was wrong about what's most important for me. ――Since that day. That seat has been empty. …But I'm grateful for that abnormality. Because in that empty seat… …Is sitting a person I want to save from the bottom of my heart. "But Saber. This wouldn't change even if I valued my life above all. You're more beautiful than that. There's nothing inside me that can take your place." ――That makes me realize. I didn't feel sympathy for her. The girl I saw in my dream. She fought alone and died alone. I thought she was unrewarded, but at the same time, I was charmed by her. I just thought she was beautiful. She pulled out the sword and ran through her life without looking back. Her life itself was so brilliant. "――That's right. So…" So, I have to protect her. So that you, all alone, won't be engulfed in darkness in your last moments. …That's right. So that in your last moments, on the verge of your death… So that you can be proud of your life―― ――My doubts disappear. My path is so clear.

"――Sorry. I like you the most, Saber. So I won't give you to a guy like him." After I say that, I regret apologizing to her. But I had to say it. I wanted to say it now at this moment because there would be no impurities mixed in my words.

"―――――" I hear her gasp. I wanted to turn around and see, but I won't since I can't really see anymore.

I get up. I can still fight if my heart is beating. My magical energy is my life. As long as my heart is beating, I'll keep on recreating her sword.

"Well done. ―――So, now what? What can you do now?" ――I feel a burning heat on my right hand. Perhaps because I'm close to death, I remember ten years ago. …It's a terrible illusion. My body feels like it's still in that fire, reaching out for life.

"Go away. I can't give Saber to you." I raise my right hand and say that. "Fool. I do not need your consent." The enemy raises his sword.

"Get down, Shirou――!" I hear Saber's voice from behind me. I ignore it and using my remaining magical energy, I "project" the sword once more――

And I'm stopped by that light. Even though it's not as strong as Excalibur, the light that can burn away everything it touches is coming for me. "―――――" Feeling the heat on my body, I don't think about my death, but about Saber behind me.

"―――――" She'll be dragged in like this. So I have to at least protect her. I said I'd protect Saber. Yes, I wanted to protect her.

…She's strong, but at the same time, she could've broken down at any moment. So I have to hold steady. She's like a drawn sword, so I have to help her so she doesn't get hurt――

――And then. Before I realize it, there's something like a sword in my right hand.

"Wh――at?" Whose voice was that? The hesitation is only for an instant. At the same moment the golden knight, the absolute victor, retreats… "Shirou, let me――!" …Saber takes my hand.

――The rising light stops. Right beside me is Saber. Right before me is Gilgamesh, opening his eyes and bleeding.

"―――――" I don't know what happened. But I know this is a repeat of the battle against Berserker. Saber used something I made and defeated Gilgamesh's sword. A light pushed back his light and must have injured him, who was unscathed up to now.

"―――――" ――A frighteningly murderous intent. It feels like he needs to kill everything he sees in order to calm down. But the golden knight leaves silently.

"…Eh?" I don't even have time to be surprised. I don't know why he left. But even my fading mind knows that the battle is over.

My knees give away. All tension disappears, and my body falls to the ground. "Shirou…!"

Saber instantly supports me. With Saber supporting me, I look down at my body.

"Ha――" I let out a gasp. My wounds are so bad they cannot be treated. "Ah――haa, haa, ha――" My body, cut from my left shoulder, should have died instantly.

"――Oh. This is too…" I must be barely alive because of that healing power, but it must have its limits. My body is almost split in two. I'm sure nothing will be able to fix my body now. …I can't even tell if I'm still breathing or not, and my consciousness is starting to fade.

――The end is near. But the fortunate thing is about Saber. I have a fatal wound, but it seems Saber is just fatigued. She is unarmed now and her wounds are completely healed. So――even if I retire now, Tohsaka should be able to do something.

That sound again. A sound as if my bones are creaking is coming from my body. I look down at my wound.

"――――Wha?" There are many swords. What look like the blades of swords are layered on top of each other and crowding together to connect my separated body, making that sound.

I feel dizzy. It feels like every bone in my body, every muscle in my body is made out of swords――

"――Eh?" There's no such thing. It must have been my imagination as my body is just fine. As proof of that, my separated body is starting to connect and my cuts are healing quickly. It's more like restoration than healing. This is more creepy than strange.

"Wha――" It seems I'll be saved. But this is too―― "――I am glad. It seems that you will not die, Master." I hear Saber's voice by my ear. Uh… it's really close by.

"Well… that's… great… but――what's going on…?" Trying to finish, I'm assailed by dizziness.

――Then. My body is enclosed by soft arms.

"Eh――Sa… ber…?" "No. I finally understand. It is only natural for your body to heal."

…I can't stay conscious. It's because I produced too much magical energy. My tired mind wants to sleep right now.

…How strong is she? Saber wraps her arms around me and holds me tight.

"――I finally understand. You were my sheath, Shirou…" …She says so in a deep, seeping voice. The feeling is so comfortable that my remaining consciousness fades away. I'm glad to be saved and I let my body sleep.

…But before that. I complain to myself that it would have been more perfect if our positions were reversed――

――At the end… I see that red hill once more.

A red memory. I dive deeper into her memory, and I realize this is the last time.

These are the memories of a knight which I have seen many times before. After becoming king and becoming the will of the country by killing her own will, her days were filled with neglect even from her trusted knights.

Every time she won a battle, Arturia was made to wish for a battle she did not wish for. She continued to hide her sex, surrounded by suspicion. What awaited this isolated girl was a rebellion by one of her relatives.

A young knight took over the country while the king was on an expedition. The man's name was Mordred. That knight who was son of Morgan, the sister of the king of knights, was actually the son of the king of knights.

――To start at the end, Arturia could not have children as a woman. But Mordred certainly inherited the blood of Arturia. Arturia's older sister, Morgan――I am not sure how far she went, but she despised Arturia for becoming king even though Arturia was younger than her.

Mordred was created as her other self. He served the king as a knight with an unknown father, waited for his chance to take over the throne, and finally organized a revolt.

――This was the battle later known as the battle of Camlann. The end of King Arthur.

King Arthur discovered Mordred's betrayal on her expedition and returned to her homeland with her tired troops to invade her own territory. She slashed away knights that used to serve her. She attacked the lands she once protected. The few knights that stayed with her died off, and the only ones standing in the end were her and Mordred.

Their personal combat ended with the king's victory. …But she did not emerge unscathed. Mordred was bound by a strong curse, so he still swung his sword even after his death and left a fatal wound on the king. That is the end of this battle. The last of her, the one called the king of knights.

――It must have been painful. Come to think of it, none of her battles were painless. Every one of her twelve battles was severe, and this just happened to be the greatest wound appropriate for her end.

She returned to Britain and destroyed her own army. She punished the knights who used to serve her, and the knights following her all died. And in the end, she had to kill her own son, even if he was son only in name.

…I cannot tell what went through her mind. But I have to wish. The lone king, who tried to be a king until her last moments… I wish that her last dream might be a normal dream, one that the girl called Arturia might wish for.

"Hm…" I open my eyes. I don't know when I got back, but I'm in my room lying on my futon.

"――Oh. You have awoken, Shirou." "…Saber. Why am I…" "You have been sleeping since that time. Your body is almost completely healed, so you do not need to worry."

"…I see. That's great, but…." What about Saber? If my wound has healed, I'm fine. But Saber's different. Even though she can heal her wounds, her magical energy isn't infinite. It wouldn't be a problem if she had just fought, but she used Excalibur.

"…Saber. Um, were you treating me all this time…?" "I merely wiped your sweat. I cannot treat wounds as Rin does."

"――Idiot. You didn't need to do that. It must be more painful for you right now."

"That is not true. I only have a light wound compared to you. But I cannot ignore what you just said. Even if your wounds have healed, they were bad enough that you could have died. Please worry about yourself for now."

Saying so, Saber reaches for the washbowl beside her. There's a cold towel in there and after squeezing the water out of it, she wipes my sweating body. "―――――!" I'm really embarrassed.

"…? Shirou, does your wound hurt? It seems you are getting a fever again――"

"I-I don't have a fever…! No, you can just rest for now. You might be all right, but you used Excalibur. So you should be the one resting! You'll collapse again at this rate."

"Eh… well, that is true, but…" She hesitates, squeezing the towel.

"But, I am doing better than you right now. It is only natural for me to protect you until you get better." "――" …What's with that? I can't object if she says so with that kind of an expression.

"…Then you'll rest once I recover, Saber?" "Of course. I need to sleep as well."

Saber says so in her usual tone. …So, I let Saber take care of me and suppress my embarrassment.

"―――――" …Time passes slowly. Have I ever looked so closely at Saber without doing anything? Saber is the same as always, and moonlight is shining on her.

"―――――" Looking at her now, she really is feminine. White fingers and slender arms. She looks so lovely that it doesn't seem like she would be capable of fighting. …That's why I can't stay calm. She's been fighting all this time with that slim body of hers.

"Shirou…? Why are you staring at my arm? …I do not want to suspect this, but are you comparing my arms to those of Rin?"

…Is she angry or sulking? She has such slender arms, but she thinks her arms aren't cute at all. Probably because there's some muscle on them, but they're rather cute to me.

"No. The wound doesn't hurt, so I was just spacing out. It's not like I have anything to say about your arms."

"I see. That is good." Saber seems relieved. Then… Saber notices something as she closes her eyes and nods.

"So your wound is fine now? I was seriously angry before, but I will forget about it if you are all right. …It is rather late to say this, but I thank you, Shirou. And I am really happy that you are safe." She says happily. Then, she smiles faintly.

"Wha――" She's smiling about such a thing. …I recall her memories in my dream. She didn't know happiness or entertainment, but she's going to smile about something like this?

――No. She can only smile at somebody else's safety and not at her own happiness. Those words from before. That she was happier seeing me smile. She said that with a satisfied expression.

"―――――" I'm going mad. I really feel like I'm crazy, and… "…! Shirou…!?" …I hug Saber with all my strength.

"Sh-Shirou…! W-What are you doing…!?" She wriggles to tries to free herself. I ignore that and embrace her tighter.

"――! Shirou, please stop…! I do not know what is going on, but this is going too far for a joke…!" Her arms resist me. But. I don't listen.

"Shirou, please――!" Saber raises her arm to hit me. To that… "――It's okay. Listen, you have to smile for your own sake." I say so from the bottom of my heart.

"Eh――Shi… rou…?" I don't know why she hesitated. I just spat out what was inside me.

"――Why…"

…I can understand her being focused on the Holy Grail. But I can never approve of that. I want her to know normal happiness. I think it'll all be a lie if she doesn't. Because all this time, she's fought for others. So she should be as happy as the people she's made happy.

"…Are you crying――?"

"―――――!" When she asks that, I realize my eyes are watery. Not because I'm sad. It's just too vexing. I'm annoyed that Saber can only smile for others. It's just that my head went crazy because it pissed me off so much――

"…Saber. Isn't this enough? You've done your best. You fought even by yourself. So――you have to find your own happiness. You've fulfilled your oath, so you can return to being Arturia."

"Wha――you are still talking about that?"

"Yeah, I'll keep on saying it…! I can't help it because I've fallen in love with you…! I won't give up until you change your mind…!" I yell and embrace Saber as if to stop her from struggling.

"Wha――" …She's weak. She curls up in my arms and looks away.

"…Shirou. Please do not bother me. …This is unpleasant even if you are my Master, Shirou."

"I'll move away if you don't want this. …I said I like you, so I'll let you go if you don't like me."

"……" Saber doesn't answer. She just hangs her head to escape my stare.

"…You are being unfair. You knew my past, but you continued to invade me. You should know my answer already, so why――why are you still concerned about me? …You must have seen all the sins I have committed."

――Yeah, I did. She sacrificed many people in the name of the king and killed many enemies. I don't intend to ignore that or pretend it didn't happen. But still, even knowing that, I want the girl named Arturia to become happy.

"――So what? I don't know what this emotion is. I just can't leave you alone. Please smile. I want to be with you, Saber―"

A child-like unilateral confession. Saber bites her lip, still hanging her head.

"…My answer will not change. I cannot break my oath as a king. Even if I was not appropriate for the role, I was entrusted with my country as the king. I could not fulfill my duty, so this… this freedom is not permitted to me."

She looks at me straight on like she's about to cry.

"――――――――" Our eyes meet. Rejecting words and responding body. When I notice… I am kissing Saber while embracing her body.

"……! ――――――――" I can feel Saber's breath through my mouth.

……Hesitation at first. Saber places her hands on my chest as if to push me away. "……Hmm……ah――――――――" She does not push me away, but tenses her body.

"――――Sa…ber――――" Our lips are only slightly touching. I am not tasting Saber's soft lips nor am I pressing hard against them.

A clumsy kiss only to feel her lips with mine. It is a beautiful kiss that does not arouse excitement nor desire. Her small body. I just find the shaking girl so dear.

……I don't know how long we've been like this. It's not just her lips that I'm feeling. I'm feeling her whole body in our embrace.

I can't help but recall that night. But this feeling is different. I want to embrace her harder and tell her more about how I feel. Not just for my lust… But I want Saber to be happy about being here.

"……Shirou. That kiss was…" Does she want to say it's a mistake? She looks up at me with a face about to cry.

"It's not a mistake. I'll say it as many times as I need to. I like you and I can't just let you go. Tell me if you don't like it. Tell me that we're only a Master and a Servant and contradict me."

"……How unfair. Are you telling me to say such a thing?" "Yeah. I won't hold back if you won't tell me clearly. If you won't refuse me―――I want to do you right now." "――――――――"

I said it. I said it straight to her face while blushing. I said it believing it is the best sincerity I can do.

"――――――――" ……A long silence. Saber looks up at me and lowers her face.

"……Shirou. Does that mean you will embrace me like you did that night?" A weak power is put into her hand on my chest. She grabs my shirt with weak strength.

"――――That's different. We were desperate and we couldn't do anything back then. ……I didn't want to do such a thing. I want to treat you more valuably and do it with just the two of us."

"…………I see. I understand how you feel." "Oh――――"

……Saber puts power into her arms. She taps. She pushes me and gets away from me.

"――――Saber." "……I have a proposal as well. Please look away until I tell you to, Shirou."

"――――――――" ……Saber's voice is too frail. I nod back and turn around.

……I hear a small sound. It sounds like paper rubbing together or water flowing. Then, I notice it's the sound of clothes rustling. "……I am done. You can turn back now, Shirou." I open my eyes and turn back to her.

"―――――――" White body glowing in the darkness. Everything goes away the moment I see her. There's no hesitation nor desire. What is before me is just so beautiful that my mind goes completely blank.

"Sa…ber…" "……" Turning her back, Saber averts her gaze while hiding her breasts. ……She must be embarrassed about exposing her bare skin. Even the red tint is so beautiful that it blows my mind away.

"……I cannot answer your feeling. But I support your idea." "Support―――you mean…" "……I used my Noble Phantasm. In any case, I cannot fight unless I receive your power."

"……Please take off your clothes, Shirou. We are going to embrace each other, so I need for you to be naked as well so I can feel you. ……And it is unfair like this. I would like to see you naked as well." My heart jumps. I thought my heart would explode from just that line.

"Ah―――uh." "I would like to see you naked――――"[r] That's so unfair. Nobody would be able to stay calm if she says such a thing.

"……Shirou? Are you not going to do it?" Saber says so while she blushes. Her voice contains anxiety, embarrassment, and hidden hope――――

"――――――!" Still numb, I place my hands on my clothes. Repair is hopeless. My mind is completely destroyed from Saber's bare skin and words, and I take off my clothes to answer her request.

――――Saber sits on the futon. When I get naked, Saber stops hanging her head down. ……Um, I think she's interested in my naked body. She looks at me from time to time with her face blushing.

"――――――――" If I talk about blushing, I bet I'm blushing much more than her. ……She made me realize all the more, but Saber is just too cute.

She is trained as a knight, but no muscle on her is hard.

Slender arms and legs. Her body that has yet to mature is sweet yet dignified. But what makes her so different is…

"……Saber. You took your hair down?" "Eh……? Y-Yes. I only fasten my hair during battle. I thought I would not need to do so right now."

"――――――――" That's the reason I was mesmerized. With her hair down, there's no trace of her as a swordsman. She is bare naked right now.

"S-Shirou. ……Um, we are starting, right? ……Then having you standing up is somewhat troubling."

"――――――――!" That line troubles me more. To be honest, my body would not move. Saber is just so beautiful that I have no idea how to start so that I can get her happy. ……First of all, this is the first time I've been like this with a girl. And even though I'm the one who proposed this, my head is so blank――――

"Ah……uh…Hold…on. I'm embarrassed to say this, but I'm not ready yet. ―――No, I am, but it went away when I saw you." I say a shameful thing while burning up my face.

"……? Looking at me?" Saber looks at me in question. A total cruelty for me……!

"Why? ……Um, this is what you have proposed, so nothing should hold you back…" "Uh―――no, well.. because… you're so beautiful… it was a surprise… and I was shocked."

……Our standpoints have reversed. Saber's skin and her stare is so embarrassing that I admit so while averting my gaze.

"……? Why? You have already seen my naked body before…" "I-I didn't. If I did, I wouldn't be able to talk to you……! I'm not that strong. If I saw it, I would've been hitting on you the moment we got out of the forest……!"

"Eh……Shirou?" Saber looks at me with more wonder. Crap. I'm so embarrassed that my head is empty and it's about to crack.

"Uh. ―――Um, so, it was so dark, I was in a panic, and I was just too into it……! See, we were so desperate at that time!"

"……I see. My naked body must have been nothing for you."

"Hey, that's not true……! Of course I was fascinated by your body at that time……! But you were in pain, you weren't the only one, I had my hands full restraining myself, and I had to act calm even after it so that I wouldn't attack you, well, that's not true, but um――――"

Man, I feel like I'm getting deeper into the hole the more I talk. I have to get out of this conversation and get calm! Or I won't be able to see her……!

"―――Yes. So what is it, Shirou?" Saber is acting more calm…man, what happened to her being embarrassed……!?

"Please be clear, Shirou. Or morning will come." "Ugh――――" Saber looks at me with a smile. Damn……I feel like I just lost a match, but it'll be more shameful if I change the subject right now.

"……So, um…We're naked, but…" You could say I have no guts, but… "―――You're just so beautiful that I don't know how I should do it."

……I throw away my pride and tell her honestly. Because everything I knew was blown away. I don't know what'll make her happy as I was mesmerized by her and was just standing there like an idiot.

"―――Fufu. That is so unlike you." ……Did she just laugh? Saber looks up at me and… "All right. I shall start in that case." She smiles. The smile she always gives when answering my trust.

"Eh……?" Still kneeling on the futon, Saber makes her way over to me.

"……Oh. You are tense as well, Shirou." The voice comes from right below me―――right by my waist. Saber is looking at my contracted thing.

"……Cute. I should make it big."

"Hey, Saber……!?" "Please do not move. Stay as you are, Shirou." "Wh――――" I stop halfway.

"――――!" I feel Saber's fingers. Saber gently wraps her fingers around my dick as if holding something precious.

"Hmm…….I only touched it and it is getting so hard." I feel blood rushing into my waist. My dick that was so tense is standing up from just one stroke by Saber.

"―――Gah―――Saber, hold…" My voice trying to stop her is so small. It's embarrassing. It's really embarrassing, but I don't want Saber to stop. I want her to continue. Even though my head is empty, I'm wishing for more and――――

"――――No, don't worry about me, Saber…" But I summon all the reasoning inside of me to place my hand on Saber's shoulder. But…

"……Please let me handle it, Shirou. I know how to make a man happy." She stops me by kissing it with her warm breath.

"Mn―――Shirou, please stay still――――"

"――――――――!" I have to pull my waist back because of the strong sensation. ―――My reasoning is really blown away. A soft sensation around my tip. My thing is covered in a wet, warm mouth―――――

"Haa――――Saber, this is……!" I know this is a blow job, but Saber is doing such a thing!?

"Ah―――fu, um…….Shirou, it is all right, so please come forward…"

"……!?" I feel something on the tip. With a wet feeling, a rough surface traces my head.

"――――!" Electricity runs through my spine. The instant I realize it's Saber's tongue, the electricity burns up my brain.

"H-Hold on……! No, Saber. You…" I can't tell her she doesn't need to do this. I realize for the first time. That there exists a temptation that is so hard to resist that I have to grit my teeth.

"Hm……hmmm, mm――――good……Shirou, you are getting bigger." ……My cock is already fully erect. My meat that is surrounded by Saber's finger is ridiculously erect and showing grotesque veins.

"Hm……mn, fu……hmm, um……!"

"――――!" Crap. I grit my teeth to keep myself from fainting. Her lips capture the head of my cock. They gently move back and forth and the instant she puts it in her mouth, her tongue licks behind the head.

"Hmm, oh……Shirou, you are beginning to get wet……ku, hmm……please……do not try to hold back――――" Her caress is soft and she is only trying to please me. Saber slowly swallows my member. Without putting her mouth on the shaft, she wraps her fingers around it.

"Hmm……! Kuh, mm….fu, hmm…..hmmm……" Her white fingers stroke my entire shaft in unison with the movement of her mouth. I feel myself rubbing on her. I almost lose to her caress.

"Ha, hmm……! Oh, it is getting larger……ah, it is……hmm…..!" With a wet sound… She deep throats it for an instant and presses the tip.

"Haa……mn, hm……it is……getting harder――――" "――――! Ku……!" Saber's mouth is drooling her own saliva and my pre-cum. Saber is drinking down what is flowing out of me.

"Haa…..you are really getting wet, Shirou……fuu, um……that is good, please feel me more……!" My tongue is numb. Her mouth is on my tip. After thoroughly licking my head, she moderately licks my hole.

"――――! S-Sab…" "Ya, mm……hmm……should I be slower or more gentle……?" My brain is being melted. It's not just the feeling of her mouth on me and the tongue licking me.

"Haa, hm……ahh……I understand……you like it here……?" Saber gently caresses me. Her figure drives me nuts. She is gently wrapping me, but it feels like I'm being wildly caressed.

"……Fu, ku……hmm……ah, fuh……ahh……"

"Saber――――" I try hard not to let it out. The hot shaft is now wet with Saber's saliva.

Wet sliding. Using the liquid spilling out her mouth as lubrication, she moves her hand with strength.

"――――!" My meat expands to its limits. "Hmm……ahh……it is getting larger still――――" Saber gets more wild with her mouth.

"……Hmm……ahh……hmm……ohh……ah, hmm, ahh……" ……Saber's caress increases its intensity every time her mouth covers my shaft.

Shutting her mouth, she uses her mouth to give me pleasure. Her fingers are grabbing me hard. My pre-cum is being extracted from the base.

"Ahh, fu……fuu……hmm…mn" Clear liquid flows down her chin. "Kufu……haa, ah―――hmm……" Saber swallows my pre-cum.

A dirty wet sound is made as my head is sucked on. Only my head is in her mouth, but it feels like my whole body is in her. Every time I try to pull back from too much sensation…

"……Hmm, no……you have to……finish off―――" …She grips my shaft and keeps it there. She sucks on my dick's head hard so as not to let me go.

"……! Ku――――ah――――ha――――" My mind is going white. I want to just melt. I can only hear Saber's breath and the sound of the sucking.

"Fu……um, umm, mm……" She carefully, carefully caresses me. Her warm mouth is now hot as fire.

"Hmm……fu……hmmm…..ah, ahh, ah, Shirou―――" ……It's just not my heat. Saber must be pleasing herself as well with this act. Her tongue that was trying to please me is becoming greedy and going after my cock.

"――――, ――――" ……Something is really wrong with me. Seeing her like that, I want to embrace her even more, but at the same time… I want to let it out on her face and push her down.

"Hmm…..ahh……hm, fu……!" Her mouth moves back and forth without stopping. Saber's tongue licks the head of my cock. Her fingers on my shaft grab me hard from time to time as if to embrace me.

"Haa――――" ……My waist is about to give out. I might collapse. I can't bear to stay standing. I need something to lean onto. A handle, I need a handle to grab on or――――

"――――No, Saber, I――――" If I stay like this, I'll really let it out in Saber's mouth. I pull my waist back with my shaking knees. But… "Haa, mm……ahh……! ……hmm……this place seems to be in pain as well, Shirou." Saber's right hand reaches down below my shaft.

"……!!!?" I jump at a totally different sensation. "Wha-What――――?" Saber has reached under my shaft to stroke my balls.

"Ah―――guh, Saber, that's……" ―――I can't bear this. If she touches me there like that, everything I've held back would explode――――!

"Hmm……are you sensitive here as well, Shirou……? Ha, hmm……hmmm…………Fufu, this is so big and hard…..and yet this is so soft."

"――――――――" I can't say anything. If I don't concentrate, I'll let it out in Saber's mouth.

"――――! ―――!' I can't do that. I can't…but…[r] "……Hmm……then I shall attack you here. It is natural to attack the weakest point." She strokes my balls even more……!

"Agh――――!" Her fingers dance around my balls. They move around. "Gah, no Saber……" My back tenses up. I'm about to explode.

"Haa……ahh……is it tough, Shirou……?" This is much more than that……! I'll collapse if she does any more. I won't be able to bear it if she even breathes on it again.

"Hmm……fu, ahh, mm―――hmmm. ……Yes, you can relieve yourself now……ahhh……Shirou, please give yourself to me."

Saber's mouth contracts. Saber sucks on the head of my cock and… She sucks on my dick as if to guide my cum that's trying to escape.

"……!" I let it out. I release what I've been holding in for so long into Saber's small mouth.

"Ahh――――, ――――!" Without knowing, I have grabbed Saber's head. Did I grab for balance since I arched back from the great sensation? Or did I just want her to take me in?

"Fuaa, ahh……hm, mm……" ……Saber doesn't resist. She sucks on the ejaculating penis and moves her throat.

"Hmm……kuh. Ah―――Ahhh." My cum drips down her mouth as she cannot drink all of it. It must be painful, but Saber tries hard to drink my cum and soothes my burning heat. "Fu――――――hm……" Her lips move away. My cum creates a string from her mouth. Without showing concern for it, Saber gently strokes my cock.

"……!' A numbing sensation runs up my penis. Saber makes me ejaculate the rest with her fingers. I ejaculate even more. What's left of my cum splashes onto Saber's body.

"Ah……ahhh…..this is Shirou's smell―――" Saber's heated voice. Saber puts her finger in the cum on her chest and takes it to her mouth.

"……Hmm…..so good……" She swallows it. What came out of me. Saber swallowed my desire itself as if being intoxicated by it.

"――――――――" Saber crouches down as if to rest. I don't know if she's tired, but her eyes are empty and they're not focused on anything.

"……Mm……ahh……" Then is she doing this unconsciously? Saber's hand is on her crotch.

"Mm……ah…..fa, ah, ahh……" She's breathing like she has a fever. ――――There's no doubt about it. Saber doesn't know how turned on she is.

"―――――――" Is it because I've calmed down after letting it out once? My blank mind slowly returns to its original state. ―――The girl before me is too cute. I want to please her as much as she pleased me.

"――――Saber. You can rest since you must be tired. It's my turn next, so get on the futon." "Eh……?" She looks at me absent-mindedly. "Just do as I say." "Um…if you say so."

Not knowing what I want to do myself, I let Saber rest. ……A stretched out white body. I place my face between her legs ignoring my erecting penis.

"Ah, what……!?" Saber's hand touches my head. Ignoring her, I open up her legs and place my head between them.

"Wh……what are you doing, Shirou……!?" Blushing furiously, Saber resists me.

"I'm just getting you back. I told you it's my turn." I say so right near her. I'm so near her that her hair would move just by breathing on it.

"Ha, hmm……! I-I do not need any return……! P-Please get away from such a place, Shirou……!"

"I don't care. I told you the same thing before, but you didn't listen to me either. So we're fair now. And I want to see this as well." "――――!"

Saber blushes even more. I can totally see her pussy. A slight pink slit and the inner wall I can see because her legs are open. A small clit that's swollen up. I can tell everything about it from her form up to her hair growth.

"N-No……! I-I do not want you to look at me so close―――" Saber wiggles. But Saber can't get away. I don't know if it's because I'm grabbing her legs or that Saber is hoping for something. With her body still on the futon, she lets me do what I'm doing.

"――――――――" ―――Saber's pussy is right in front of me. Just that fact causes my penis to go erect again. Her womanly part that is in contrast to her sweet figure. That imbalance stimulates my mind and my breathing goes wild.

"Hmm……so this is Saber's……" Without being able to stop myself, I slip my tongue onto her. "No―――No, Shirou……! Y-You will be dirtied if you place your tongue on such a place……!" I don't hear her. I touch her soft meat while she tries to push me away.

"It's not dirty at all. ……You did the same thing to me, so I have to do the same to you as well."

"……Ah, hmm……! Haa, no, not…inside……!" I stick my tongue on the warm slit. The small slit that doesn't know the pleasure of a woman. "Haa…..nha, no, please do not look…no, it will flow out…..!" But it starts to drip out juice just from getting licked softly.

I lick that juice and suck on it by making sound.

"S-Shirou……!? W-W-What are you doing……!? Are you sane……!?"

"Hm……it's not bad……but I think it's like sweat. It smells like you." "……! A-A-A-A-A-A-Are you stupid and curious? H-H-How can you say such a shameful thing?"

"Hey, I can't help it. Your pussy's so wet just when I open it. ……It's more of your fault than mine. See?"

"……Kuh, ah…..!" I move the outer wall with my tongue and taste her inner meat. ……Saber is already wet. It's not really wet, but the hole is burning and starting to squeeze out love juice.

"……See. Wow, it's wetter than that time. You weren't like this even with Tohsaka." "Ah……but that is because…" "……I see. So you were pleasing yourself when you were licking me."

"N-No……! T-This is just my body getting heated up and――――Shirou, you were being mean――――"

So she's fine doing it, but doesn't want others to do it on her? Saber is blushing red and grabs onto my hair.

"……No, no. Please get away. I would not allow any more even from you―――ahhh…..!" Saber pulls her waist back to get away from embarrassment. But wanting to see her more like that, I put my tongue on her slit.

"Ahh……! ……No, ah……ahh…..!"

I lick it. I lick up and down her slit as if stroking her warm pussy.

"……Ah, nn….., fua……!" ……My head feels dizzy. It's not only Saber's sensation on my tongue. It's my sense of smell rather than my touch that's driving me crazy. ……I can smell her love juice. The taste of Saber and the smell of Saber captivate me.

"……Hmm, fu――――" I lick it thoroughly. As Saber did so to me, I want to value her pussy and lick it with all my heart.

"……Haa, ah……ahh……Ah……haa." ……Her voice still contains fear and hesitation. Saber can still think. She looks at my caressing with half-absent eyes.

"……Shirou is licking my dirty area―――" With a voice more turned on than scared, she tries to stop her moaning.

"――――――" This thing isn't dirty at all. A girl-like skinny figure. It's very clean down here and the walls are perfectly arranged. It looks grotesque yet beautiful. "Hmmm……it's not dirty here, Saber."

"Eh……ah, fuahh, ahh――――!" I lick up her flowing juice. I can feel her hair tickling on my nose. I feel her clit every time I move my neck. I bare it with just my tongue.

"Ahh……kuhh――――!" ……Saber jumps. It was only a soft touch. I was only caressing it, but Saber is getting turned on without limit.

"Haa, ahh, ahhhhh…..! ……Ahh, ah……….No――――No, please stop, Shirou―――please……!"

It must have scared her as she frantically shakes her head. But in contrast to her words, her pussy gets wetter and wetter.

"……Why? Does it not feel good?" "U-Um―――well, but, um…." She tells me with her eyes that pleasure will overcome her reasoning. ……That's too late. The instant she can't resist me straight on, she has already lost.

"What?" "Ah……ahn……! Haa……I am saying.. ahh――――!" "I don't know what you're saying if you don't tell me clearly. I'll continue if you don't hate it." "Um, well…ahhh……!"

I don't wait for her answer. I can't stand waiting around. Something so young and vivacious is in front of me, so I can't just taste the surface forever.

"Ahh――――! Shirou, you used your mouth for…ahhh, ah―――!" Her body tenses up. Saber's body reacts to a foreign object.

"Ahh……! Your tongue…it is coming in……!" I stick my tongue out and insert it into her.

"……! Fuh, ah……ah―――――" There's no pain in Saber's voice. ……My tongue is too small compared to what entered her before. I bet something this small is more appropriate for Saber's small hole, though.

"Haa……mn, ah, ahh――――" Saber kills her voice and relaxes her body. Pleasure and embarrassment were in conflict up until now. But―――the insertion of the tongue has completely tipped the scale to one side.

"Haa……why……can I not think――――ahhh……!" I insert my tongue into her red throbbing hole and lick it up.

"No……! Shirou, that is……!" Juice flows out without limit. "Ah――――hm――――" I swallow it without hesitation. I suck it up with a sound and place the juice and her meat into my mouth.

"Ah…..ahhh……! Shirou……no, please do not make sounds――――!"

―――Saber's fingers are trembling. I drink it up without caring. Is it because my mouth was dry from that blow job earlier? There's no saltiness on the juice, but rather… "……Hmm……it's so good――――" It tastes better than anything else in the world.

"Shirou――――" Saber sounds entranced. ……My thirst is still not quenched. I place my mouth on her pussy, roll my tongue around inside it, and quench my thirst.

"……! Ah……ah…..!! No, I-I……!" ……Saber shakes even more. Ignoring it, I suck up Saber even more.

"Ah, ahhh……! ………Ahh, stronger…please……!" ―――Her shaking gets even stronger.

"Ahh……! Ah, Shirou, Shirou……!!!" Saber bites her lip and kills her voice. Her body convulses and her stiff legs weaken up.

"――――Saber――――" ……I let my mouth go. Saber is without power. That makes me realize that Saber has reached orgasm.

"……Ah……ah…"

She lets out a sweet gasp and throws out her limbs.

"……Ah……Shi…rou…" Her eyes are damp and her body is still hot. ……Was the orgasm a light one? Saber is resting in satisfaction, yet she is looking at me as if she wants more. Even if the body is satisfied, her mind is wanting more.

"……Shirou. I have yet to…" She must be embarrassed about her sexual desire. With her burned body, Saber is looking at my erect self.

"―――――――Saber." But I'm the one who can't wait any longer. I want it much more than Saber does. I can only think about feeling good with Saber.

I grab Saber's legs. I grab her burning hot legs and place my erect self between her legs.

"……Ahh……Mmm……" I hear a wet sound. ……It's Saber's slit. I go between them and place my tip between the slit.

"Ahhh……Shirou, you are so hot….." The voice sounds surprised and ecstatic. Her eyes look at me as if asking for help. I take it straight on.

"I'm putting it in, Saber." "…………Mm―――――" She must be embarrassed about even letting her voice out. Saber nods once and accepts me to come in.

"Mm, ahaaaa―――! ……Ahh……Shirou is coming in――――!"

The insertion went surprisingly smooth and I was able to easily put it all in. It must be because Saber is so wet. The small hole that accepted me could not bear the stimulation as it takes away Saber's reasoning.

"Ahh……ha…..ahh……!" She must be scared of this pleasure that is too strong. Saber hugs her own body and tries to keep herself.

That behavior is just too cute. She acts strongly trying not to be overwhelmed. Her girl-like breasts pressed down by her arms excite my male instincts.

"……I'm moving, Saber." "Oh……yes……please, ah……please do as you wish…Shirou." I move my hips slowly. Trying not to stimulate her too much as she is sensitive, I slowly move in her.

"Fu, ahh……! Ah, ahh……! Fu, mm…..! Ahh―――Shirou, you are kind――――" ……! I slowly pull then slowly push it in. Her pussy is wet with her juice. There's no resistance as Saber takes me deep in her with every stroke.

"――――!" This sensation. My erect penis that is now a giant nerve system moves back and forth between her tight walls. Saber's pussy is really tight. There's no pain since it's so wet, but the rubbing and the grip makes me go dizzy.

"Fuu, nha, ahh……! It feels good, Shirou―――[r] So good……ahh……!"

The pleasure through my penis and the fulfillment of being in Saber increase my pleasure.

"Ahh……!! Oh, it is getting…even…bigger……!" It feels like I'm getting licked there. It's not a sensation where it takes everything away. The slow movement increases our sensitivity slowly.

"Mnn, ahh……! Fuaahhhh……" Because of her overflowing juice, it doesn't feel like we're rubbing ourselves. The walls grip around me tightly as if to refuse me, but there's more than enough lubrication.

"Fuh―――then, I can―――" I raise my hips to give her more pleasure. "Aha, no, not so high……!" Not just back and forth, but I also add in up and down movements. My hard cock rages inside of Saber.

"……! Ah, ahh, hah……!!" It must feel good as Saber begins to moan harder. ……Her white skin gets a tint of red. The slow movement and the pleasure is heating up the girl called Saber.

"Ahn, it feels so good……ah……, hmm……Shirou……me too――――" "Saber……?" "Ahh……I would like――――to be kind to you as well――――"[r]

"Eh?" She sounds like she's in a dream. She must be starting to get used to the sensation as she looks up me and… "Ah, kuh――――!?" …Saber wraps her pussy around me as if to please me.

"Ah, wait――――" Saber's inner walls move around in a completely different fashion. Numerous walls wrap around me. The walls which used to only tighten around me now wrap themselves on me to please me――――!

"Saber, this is――――!" I bite my lip at the sensation. "Haa……a……―――I want Shirou…to feel good…as well…" Her voice is heated up. Withstanding her own pleasure, Saber tries her best to please me.

"――――――――" That fact blows my mind away. That causes my pre-cum to come out and it starts to mix in with Saber's juice.

Our meats make a soppy sound. "Ahh, fua, ah――――!" The lubricant coming out from both of us tells me I can move faster.

"……! Deeper, Shirou…..!" I thrust my hips forward. I insert my dick deep inside her and grind my hips in.

"Ah……! Ahh……hmm, ah――――!" Saber's body arcs back and her meat tightens around me at the sudden sensation. "Haa――――" That causes me to go even wilder.

"Ahh, ahh―――" I don't need any more kindness like before. I tense my hips up and concentrate on my erect penis.

"Haa――――ua,ah, ahn, ahh――――! ……Uha……ah……haa…I-I do not…mind Shirou……harder, please――――!" Saber screams out as if getting resolute.

"―――――――" My mind goes completely blank. I unconsciously raise Saber's hips and wildly thrust my dick into her.

"…….!!!! Yah, ha, nhaa……! Yes, ah……, ahhhhhh……!!"

"Ugh――――!" I thrust. I thrust my dick as if thrusting my whole body into her.

"It is in……! I can feel…you…in my…stomach――――!" I can't tell if her scream is pain or pleasure. Saber is only accepting whatever sensation there is.

"Hya―――!? Ah, haa, ah……!!" "――――!"

The previous movement is nothing compared to this. Our parts rub hard against each other and my senses are taken away each time I move. Saber's body reacts by moaning every time I thrust.

Her warm pussy is wet with her juice and it feels like I'm thrusting into some liquid.

"Ahh, ah―――! ……Ahh, it is flowing―――Shirou…and…I …Are melting――――!" "――――!"

It feels like my reasoning will just escape out of my mouth. It's not just myself thrusting into Saber. Every time I thrust forward, Saber wettens herself and tightens her pussy.

She reacts to my every move. There's no end to this pleasure. We lust for each other like man and woman, like animals.

"Ha, ah, no, it feels too…good……!" Our movement causes dirty sounds. "Nha, na, it is…scary, Shirou…you feel too…good, ahh――――!"

I'm holding nothing back now. I thrust inside her with force. Our crotches hit each other. My erect penis mercilessly strikes her.

"Fua, ya, haa, ahh, ah―――!!!" Her body heats up. Drops of sweat form on her pink body. "!! No, Shirou……! I will…go…crazy…if this continues……!!" Saber screams to keep her consciousness. Her pussy tightens around me.

"Haa, ah――――! Ah, ahh, Shi…Rou……! Haa, Shirou, Shirou, Shirou, Shirou――――!" My mind goes white. I want to embrace Saber. I want to bite on her lips. I want to obtain everything about her. "Ah, guh, Saber……!" My desire takes form and comes up. My dick begins its last expansion. "Ah, ahhhhhhhh……! It is expanding……!?" Saber's body jumps at the pressure of expansion. "―――Haa, nha, ah, ahhhhh――――! ……No, I cannot…keep my consciousness anymore―――I-I―――!" Her pussy convulses hard. A rough sensation wraps around the head of my manhood. That finishes me off. The last wall is destroyed inside Saber. "Ahh――――me too, Saber―――" "Ahh――――Ahh, ah, Shirou……! Please come closer, Shirou, Shirou――――!!!!!" I fall onto Saber. She must have felt it as Saber's pussy contracts and accepts me. "Nha, ha……! Ahh, yah, ahn, uhh, haa……ahh―――together…" Saber tightens herself around me hard. Right before her small body explodes…

"Nha, ah―――please come together, Shirou――――!"

A sensation like I'm being pulled in. I finally explode. I ejaculate inside of her as if to shoot her down―――

……And a dream is over. Saber is lying there, and I also cannot get up from exhaustion.

"――――――――" We are collapsed together in the darkness. Our body temperature hits our tired minds.

"……Saber." I call out to the girl laying beside me. ……The question I asked her before I had sex with her. To find out the reply for me wanting her.

"……Magical energy replenishment has been completed. I can fight as your Servant starting tomorrow." "Saber."

"……That is it for now, Shirou. My role is to protect you and to obtain the Holy Grail. I cannot think about anything else until the battle is over." "―――But…" "……Is that not right? Because you have…"

"…Chosen to fight to end this war."

Her voice echoes through the darkness. "……" I can't argue against her. If I want to do something about us, I have to end this war beforehand.

First of all, we have to defeat that man who's after Saber or I can't protect Saber. ――――But. Do we have a way to defeat that king of heroes?

"―――――――" "―――――――" We grow quiet and stare at the darkness.

……How long were we like that? Right when my body wants to take a rest and my eyes start to close…

"―――Huh?" I feel something on my hand.

"Saber……?" "……Yes. Let us think tomorrow, Shirou. We might come up with a good plan tomorrow. And…" ―――I would like to sleep like this for now." She says so while holding my hand.

"――――Yeah. I wanted to do so too." "……Yes. Good night, Shirou. ……Let us return to our previous selves when we wake up." I close my eyes with her close to me.

……My last vision of Saber sees her smiling warmly. I don't care if that was just for this night. Right now, her hand is warm. That is more than enough for me right now as I fall into a comfortable sleep.

―――I fall asleep… …Without knowing if we will be able to keep our hands connected even after everything is over…

When I wake up, the sun is already way up. The sunlight coming in from outside is faint, and the room is dim. I feel like it's still last night and shake my head violently.

"…It's cloudy outside. No wonder I didn't wake up." It seems my sleep-deprived body caught up on sleep, taking advantage of the darkness of the room. It seems it's already past 1 o'clock. Oversleeping this much can't just be called "sleeping in".

"Saber, are you awake…?" "――――――――" There's no answer. Saber is sleeping next to me, slightly curled. I wake up when I'm not sleepy any more, but Saber has to recover her magical energy. Considering how long she's slept before, she probably won't wake up until dinner.

I leave the room, trying not to wake Saber up. There's no need to wake her up right now. The contest begins at night. I don't think Lancer or Gilgamesh will appear during the day.

"……" So I have to come up with a plan. Putting Lancer aside, Gilgamesh will certainly come again tonight. I don't even need to think about it considering his personality and the murderous intent he showed last night.

…But what should I do? He has an infinite supply of Noble Phantasms, and one of them even exceeds Saber's Excalibur. Berserker was a difficult enemy to defeat, but we still could fight him even though we were inferior. We could look for a chance for a comeback even when he was pushing us.

But he's different. It won't even be a fight right now. If he uses that Noble Phantasm called Ea, we will all die.

"――I have to find a way. There isn't long before sunset." There's no solution if I think on my own. If Saber, Tohsaka, and I can't think of a plan, then――

"…The church. As supervisor, he might know." He might know a way to overcome this situation. King of heroes, Gilgamesh. Kotomine Kirei said that he would find some measure against that survivor of the last Holy Grail War. We can't find a counter-measure, but that priest might have already come up with a plan.

…I go up the hill. The sky is filled with gray clouds.

"―――――" The church is the only thing at the top of the hill. There's no one in sight, not even the sound of birds. Is it because of the dark sky? It looks more ominous than holy. Metaphorically, it feels like a gallows. Going up the long hill, through the large courtyard, prosecuted before God, and falling to hell.

"What am I talking about? That's not just a metaphor." From the beginning, a church is a place where people die. A hospital is a place where they try to prolong life, but at the same time, it is also a place where people face death. A church is the same. In those terms, no place has more deaths than here.

"―――――" The wind is cold. Fastening my collar, I go up the stairs to the church.

"Kotomine, I came to talk." I enter the chapel. There is no one in here either.

"――Kotomine?" Is he in the back again? Walking between the chairs, I walk to the altar.

Pat, pat, pat, pat. A dry sound echoes through the chapel. It must be designed for echoes as one person's footsteps fill the room.

"…Kotomine? Are you not here?" I call out in a soft voice. …It's certainly strange. I should be calling out in a loud voice if I'm calling for someone. I know he's somewhere in the back, so I should be calling out in a loud voice. But I advance keeping my voice quiet, my footsteps quiet, and suppressing my presence.

…Is it because the chapel is so magnificent? I feel like as soon as I reveal my presence, something will surround me and cut my head off for disgracing God or something――

I pass through the chapel and get out into the courtyard. "…I think Kotomine's room is――" I advance with quiet footsteps. The church is complicated and I don't know where Kotomine's room is. My memory is vague, so I know I won't be able to get there.

"―――――"

Something… I control my breathing. My throat is dry and it's hard to breathe. Why… Even though the hallway is cool, sweat forms on my brow. I stop calling out and examine the surroundings with all my senses. …Do I have such… …I don't know why. Why I'm walking silently, why my heart's beating so fast, why―― …An ominous feeling in this place?

"―――――" The same words repeat in my head. Go back. Go back. Go back. Go back. Kotomine isn't here. So you don't have anything to do here. Go home since you're by yourself. Your decision is a mistake. Your actions are a mistake. Your chill is a mistake. Go back. Go back. Go back. This isn't bad. There's nothing bad here. There is nothing here, so go home――!

"――! Haa――!" I feel sick. I feel nauseous. At times like this, my chill is correct. My sense for danger is good enough for an amateur magus. That's why I can't stop. Suppressing my pounding heart, I look for Kotomine's room.

And in that way, I run into the darkness. "――Underground…?" I see stairs in the darkness. In a small indent between the walls one would normally miss because of the shadows is a narrow staircase.

"―――――" I shouldn't go down there. I'd bet money on it. Kotomine won't be down there. No one will be down there. There can't be down there. There can't be co down there. There can't be ses down there. There can't be rp down there. I shouldn't go in there――!

"――!" My neck stiffens. I――

#votestaynight #fate #fate stay/night #fate route

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