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#had no clue who to make jeff and tim
sinclairstarz · 3 months
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could the ugly, untalented gays please report to the principles office?
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necroromantics · 7 months
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You have opened a whole new perspective for me with the Nina & Kate ship. The idea, the execution!!!!!! PLEASE I am in need of more
MAN Ok Im very glad this is getting attention cuz bro…. The potential…
MORE NINAKATE HEADCANONS 🔥 (Ill write more proper pieces in the future, for now yall are getting rambles)
- Nina invites Kate to raves and parties, but she refuses to go due to her migraines, sensitivity to light, and cuz shes a feral killer proxy misanthrope…
- Nina sometimes ends up drinking or smoking too much and comes home sick and a mess. Kate just softly scolds her, gives her stupid drunk gf a kiss, and takes her to bed
- She wakes up changed into pajamas, not a clue what happened, Kates already gone doing god knows what. But man its so much nicer for her knowing shes being taken care of
- Kate started off being very against the idea of make up, dressing up, nails done, etc. Until one night after Nina had spent hours begging Kate to let her do her makeup. Nina leaned in so close, so close. Kate didn’t get why her heart was beating so fast, or why she kept eyeing the girls lips. She thought she was getting sick again or something
- After that, she was more open to the idea. Especially since its an excuse to have Nina touch her. And she hasn’t been touched as if she was anything but a monster in so long
- Nina is soft, happy, a loving lover. She absolutely showers Kate with affection and is horribly devoted. She has a journal she doodles and writes in. 90% of that journal is about Kate
- Kate skates, both board and roller skating. Roller derby was a huge interest of hers, but circumstances never really let her fully pursue it. So some nights Nina will take her to a desolate skatepark and Kate will teach Nina to skate
- Once she gets the hang of it, rollerskating dates are frequent. One time, when she was still learning, Nina slipped and busted her ass. Kate laughed so hard water came out of her nose, before she ran to Ninas side to check on her
- Nina was fine of course, but god was she unresponsive. All she could think about was that strong, rough laugh. She started doing everything she could to make Kate laugh, even bought herself a “how to be funny” book
- I headcanon Nina to have BPD. Kate is very good at being her FP, and handles her episodes well. It took Nina awhile to learn how to manage her own episodes as well, especially after she relied so heavily on certain behaviours to get attention from Jeff
- But Kate helped her learn how to calm herself down, how to control her emotions and overthinking. And everyone noticed the improvement in her mental health. Having a person who cared, tried, understood
- And Kate is very protective. She was with Charlie, and she is with Nina. Absolutely no one gets to hurt her, talk bad about her, torment her. Toby went too far with a joke once and accidentally made Nina cry. Tim had to hold Kate back from breaking his jaw
- Theyre each others safe person, a place in the terrible, chaotic world they live in where they can find peace
- They have their own history, secrets, inside jokes. Nobody expected the two to get together, especially not a girl like Kate falling in love. But Nina saw that humanity in her and brought it out in ways nobody had even bothered to try, and Kates patience for her sunshine is infinite
- Surprisingly, works out very well
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jimmy-johns-was-taken · 7 months
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hiii
i hope you're doing great and not wearing yourself out thin lmao, you gotta take care if yourself!! anyways, could i request like. idk how to describe it really. but like, hcs for masky, ej and jeff in a scenario where the reader is a loner type of creep, and the creeps meet her while she's out during a mission? i hope it's not toooo specific haha, i just want a bamf reader, basically.
Ok I love these kind of things! Like liner reader who doesn’t really interact with many pastas but likes very certain ones???
Thank you so much for requesting, have a good day and take care of yourself!!
Jeff the Killer, Eyeless Jack, Tim/Masky with a loner creepy s/o
Jeff the Killer :
Met you while you were out on a mission
Had no fucking clue who you were and tried to kill you at first
Then you bested him in combat and he learned you were a proxy and shit
And from there y’all just kinda started hanging out
You would train together, drink together, etc
And eventually it just developed into something
I think something cool here would be a slow burn enemies to lovers????
That’s just my idea tho
Eyeless Jack :
Similar to Jeff, Jack tried to make you his next meal
While you couldn’t beat him in combat, you managed to put up one hell of a fight
Jack then learned that you were a proxy and was all like “oh shit my bad”
He didn’t see you for awhile until weeks later when you were injured and had to go to the medical office thing
Jack was all like “oh, you again” and patched you up
And then you kinda just kept getting hurt (totally not on purpose) and seeing Jack more
And Jack would suddenly be going out for more hunts whenever you had missions
It’s a slow burn, all love with Jack is a slow burn, but you two become very good friends and eventually lovers
Tim / Masky :
Both of them are aware of your existence, however they choose to ignore you
Tim has tried to talk with you some, being a fellow proxy and all
But it seemed as if you wanted nothing to do with him
So he left you be
Until you and Masky got into an argument
You beat the shit out of Masky, and when Tim regained control he apologized
You were very weary, but grew fond of Tim quickly after
You and Tim would slowly start to hangout more
And eventually Slender would notice and start pairing you and Masky up for missions
You hated it at first, used to being alone and all
Masky hated it just becuz it was you
But you and him very slowly grow closer and feelings eventually develop
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sweetdreamsjeff · 4 months
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Jeff Buckley; The big album
Author: Stevie Chick
Date: May 6, 2000
From: The Times (London, England)
Publisher: NI Syndication Limited
JEFF BUCKLEY (9/10)
Mystery White Boy
(Columbia) Pounds 13.99*
FANTASY HAS long been a core ingredient of rock myth-making, and when a mythically talented rock artist dies, just as his dazzling promise begins to unfold, the potential for wild speculation is doubled. Without the possibility of future development or new material, the fans' impulse is to ransack the archives for more and more clues as to where the artist's muse may have taken them next, to cultivate a tissue of creative theories and "what ifs".
Recorded during his 1995-96 world tour, Mystery White Boy is not Jeff Buckley's first posthumous release; the album he was working on when he drowned in the Mississippi in 1997 was released a year later as (Sketches for) My Sweetheart the Drunk. It is also not Buckley's first in-concert issue - live releases of varying rarity having been available throughout his career (indeed, his debut recording was the solo-acoustic Live at Sin-e EP).
And yet, in every imaginable sense, Mystery White Boy is not only justified, but an essential release. For, as with Grace, the 1994 debut studio album that announced Buckley's prodigious talents, this album is a declaration of the commendable disregard he and his band had for the limits and conventions of what is termed "rock music". It stands as a testament to Buckley's eclectic soul, and his restless on-stage creativity.
So Mystery White Boy preserves for ever moments such as Buckley segueing Hallelujah into a cover of the Smiths' I Know it's Over, and
his radical, emotionally annihilating deconstruction of Big Star's
Kanga Roo. Critics slammed his performances of this period as self-indulgent, but given the essential drabness of most mainstream rock, and certainly the soul-destroying perfunctoriness of so much live performance today, such wilful playfulness and daredevil leaps of fancy deliver a rare thrill. Mystery White Boy proves that it wasn't the technical quality of Buckley's falsetto that made him special, rather the emotionally devastating way he wielded it (see the ragged, intense Grace, and a positively careworn Lilac Wine). This fact seems to have been lost on the glut of Buckley copyists who fall so short of the master in their passion for note-perfection.
The album also adds a further layer of intrigue to the circumstances of the artist's death, and his relationship with deceased troubadour father Tim Buckley. Jeff's snarling (at himself, with reference to Tim?) "You're just like him!" in Dream Brother is a truly chilling moment, as is the drowning fantasy (not present on the studio version) that closes the song. Coincidental, no doubt, but still disquieting.
Even among the smattering of unrecorded Buckley originals contained here, Mystery White Boy doesn't clearly indicate what direction his musical journey may have taken next. Instead, it's a momentary crystallisation of an unpredictable firebrand whose erratic creativity was an essential element of his music, and certainly the finest portrait of what he was about since Grace. Pull up a stool, and mourn the loss.
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softsnzstuff · 1 year
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Small Rockstar AU Ficlet in which the Corroded Coffin guys host a livestream while Eddie has a cold. Hope you enjoy. 🤍KB
*****
“What’s up guys!!! Figured we do a short takeover tonight.” Gareth shouted enthusiastically as he started the Instagram live.
The guys looked on as the viewer count jumped. 20k, 50k…85k.
Gareth and Eddie were sitting on the couch with Jeff and Tim perched behind them so they could all be on camera.
“Who wants an update on the new album?” Jeff teased.
Tons of hearts poured in as well as comments from the thousands of fans watching.
THE NEW ALBUM
oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god
Holy shit are we getting a preview????
Say more omg????
“Eddie, you wanna give them our little clue?” Tim asked.
“H’etSCHew! T’sszIEW! … iiKSHuhew!”
“Or not…” Gareth laughed. “Sorry guys, he’s got a cold again.”
“Do not.” Eddie sniffled soupily against his wrist.
“Do too, don’t be dumb.” Gareth elbowed him.
“Ugh whatever. snlff The hint about the album is ‘going back to our roots’. Interpret as you will, you heathens.”
The guys chuckled as everyone went nuts on the comments. Jeff scanned them and read a few aloud.
“Uhhh Timmy they wanna know what your favorite pastime is other than DnD and music.”
Tim pondered for a second, “Honestly it’s cooking.”
The guys nodded in agreement, murmuring comments about how good Tim’s cooking is.
Eddie turned to the side and coughed into a fist. Gareth inadvertently patted him on the back as they kept scanning the comments.
“Jeff - what’s your guilty pleasure song? Do you wanna answer it or should we?” Eddie smirked up at his band mate.
Jeff punched him playfully, “Shut up oh my god. It’s… Last Friday Night by Katy Perry okay??”
“TSSHEW!”
The sneeze bursted out of Eddie almost before he had time to turn away.
“Jesus Christ man!” Gareth jumped, not expecting the outburst.
“snfsnff! Sorry to be so gross guys. I just wanted to hang out.” Eddie apologized, wiping at his nose.
Bless you!!
Poor guy go get some rest :’(
Don’t be sorry. Thanks for hanging out!
“Well we should probably get this guy to bed. Make sure he doesn’t die before we get a chance to put the album out.” Jeff teased.
Gareth laughed and nudged Eddie’s knee with his own. The lead guitarist rolled his eyes and scrubbed again at his already pink nose.
“Thanks for hanging out guys! Appreciate your time and support! Byeeee!” Eddie waved and the stream ended.
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7 Comfort Movies
Thanks for the tag, @dreamingofmickeywaffles @reyestrandd and @lemonlyman-dotcom 🥰🥰🥰
1. Clue- there isn’t a second of this movie that is wasted, every single part of it is wonderful- the costumes, the dialogue, the over the top spectacle of it all- every single person in this (it also has the perfect amount of characters, I don’t know why this is a thing for me but it is) but all of them bite into the scenery and do not let go for 97 minutes and it is SENSATIONAL. I wish I could go back to 1985 and tell the people who said it sucked what they’re missing (and tell them about the multiple endings I can imagine how confusing that was in a pre social media world).
2. The Producers (the 2005 version) it’s impossible for me to watch this movie and be in a bad mood. Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane play off each other so well and I relate to Leo Bloom on a spiritual level (the line “you’ve mistaken me for someone with a spine” - MOOD). I haven’t seen the original so it may be rehashing but this just makes me happy.
3. Emperors New Groove- Aka the most underrated Disney movie in existence- Lordy do I love this movie. Every single of line is this is so goddamn funny even from the characters that aren’t necessarily supposed to be (I love Pacha’s wife- “UGH! I gotta go wash something”). And the fact that they wanted to do a villain as a young person backstory and picked Cruella over Yzma- a TRAVESTY. GIVE ME MY YZMA CENTERED PREQUEL DISNEY- I MEAN IT! (Sorry for all the shouting. Probably shouldn’t have filled this out after back to back shifts lol).
4. Sleepless in Seattle- this movie is just like a warm hug to me. Not even that it’s romantic- like it is but it’s so much more than that- it has just the right amount of characters and it does a good job of being a movie where they tell you don’t base your life around a movie but still being one of those movies and Rosie O’Donnell’s character is friend goals and Tom Hanks- he really is that charming- it’s one of those movies where I just think about it for weeks after I watch it (particularly the part at the end where he finally gets to Jonah and tearfully tells him “you’re my family. You’re all I’ve got”. Also the father-son stuff is top notch.
5. The Goonies- I’m still not over that Ke Huy Quan mentioned Jeff Cohen in his Oscar speech- but they are just the cutest group of kids and Brand is the cutest older brother in the you are so annoying but also you’re not gonna get hurt on my watch way and Chunk is adorable and I love all these goobers so much
6. Mary Poppins- this movie is just so wonderful. It’s beautifully shot and the songs and in between dialogue is amazing and I’m always embarrassed to tell people how much I love this movie cause I’m much too old and might cry about how much it means to me.
7. Muppet Treasure Island- MARGARITAS AT THE MIDNIGHT BUFFET!! This movie is really funny and also really sweet at the same time? Like I think about the there’s got to be something better song once a week but then there’s Gonzo whispering “I believe they prefer visually challenged fiend” and Jennifer Saunders as the innkeeper who can always hear them- “I’ll be fine boys- run for it!” “How does she do that?!” And Tim Curry- Tim Curry is having so much fun in this movie (“Satan is heating his pokers for you, you… blasphemous heathens!”) If I had two hours left to live I would put this movie on.
No pressure tags - @elevatehearts @hydesjackiespuddinpop @manicpixiedreamb0y @poppy-in-the-woods @baubeautyandthegeek @ellena-asg @draculakells @paperstorm
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huniebunny · 2 years
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Hay there :D
I experienced sleep paralysis for the thousandth times of my life, and i was wondering if i can have some HC of how the creaps of your choice(+E.J) deal with this situation, i mean how would they comfort there s/o.
Thanks for your time and i hope you're having a great day/night <3
Masky, Hoodie, Jeff, and EJ with an S/O who experiences Sleep Paralysis
Masky/Tim
His first experience with you having a paralysis episode nearly caused him to panic.
He had experienced something similar from the Slenderman.
It was just a fear that the same was happening to you.
It was a relief that it wasn’t, but now he was worried for your mental health from the hallucinations.
He’ll sleep with you, just in case. He doesn’t hold you close, but he has your hand overlapping his so he could interrupt the episode when he can.
Hoodie/Brian
A similar situation happens with Brian, but he’s faster to react.
He made sure to close your eyes again, and gently placed his fingers over your pulse as he quietly whispered the seconds until the episode stops.
He’s similarly relieved that it wasn’t by Slenderman’s doing.
He’ll repeat that same technique, whether it interrupts the episode or ends on it’s own
Jeff
The situation flies over his head the first time.
He didn’t have a single clue why your eyes were open but your body wasn’t really moving.
He had to get assistance from EJ.
But talking it over with you, he wouldn’t leave your side for whenever it should happen again.
He makes sure you don’t sleep in a position that could trigger an episode, makes sure that your eyes remain closed.
He’ll attempt to interrupt an episode whenever he can.
Eyeless Jack
Seeing as this man is essentially your illegal doctor, he recognized the episode right away.
He keeps your eyes closed, keeps your mind on him through whispering and touch.
He ensures that your sleeping habits don’t induce episodes: sleeping in a position that creates the least amount of episodes, turning out all light sources, and keeping the room’s temp stable for sleeping.
He might even provide some medicine to assist in creating a consistent sleep cycle.
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scary-lasagna · 3 years
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The Predator and the Prey
I've been wanting to write a Halloween special all this month but never found inspiration until I saw this tik tok.
Loosely based around "Out of the mirror" from The Boy (2016) bc of the tiktok and also i love that movie. Happy Halloween, everyone. <3
WC: 2000+
___~~~___
"What the Hell do you want from me?!" As you backed into the dresser, a few items bumped off and clattered against the wooden floor. The blood-covered man blocked the door, and brandished a large knife. His engraved grin only widened as he laughed, "What a fucking classic question. 'What do you want?' 'Who are you?'" He mimicked. You had nowhere to run, and the raven-haired killer quickly sped up to your quivering form.
You screamed as he grabbed your face, digging his dirty nails into your jaw. His other hand raised the cold blade and dragged it across your cheek. It hissed in pain, but you know it's only a forebode of what's to come. Judging by this insane look in his eyes, he wasn't about to stop anytime soon. For the first time in your life, you knew you were about to die.
"You poor thing." The man's Cheshire grin taunted you with a condescending glare and a chuckle before dragging his tongue along the bloody blade. "You haven't the slightest clue, do you?"
You panted, your heart raced, your entire body was screaming to run and get the Hell away from this danger, this fucking lunatic.
Upon hearing no response, he cocked his head, and booped your nose with the tip of his knife with a giggle, "Someone. Wants. You. Dead.~"
Your brows furrow in confusion. You had no enemies, and especially none that would be rich enough to hire a hitman...or crazy-killerman. "What do you mean?"
"You aren't aware?" He chimed with a suppressed giggle, and pressed the knife to your throat before freeing his other hand to dig around in his cargo pockets. After shimmying out his phone, he held up a picture of Tim Wright, your boyfriend. "You're dating him, yeah? It would be really embarrassing if I got the wrong person." He laughed.
"Tim...yeah." Tim wanted you dead? He could've just fucking said 'Thing's aren't working out! Let's break up!' "That doesn't make any sense, he'd never-'
"Well, you're distracting him too much from work." Jeff rolled his eyes as he cut you off and shoved the phone back into his pocket. "His boss really isn't fond of you disturbing his usual flow. So, he sent me to take care of you. Isn't that sweet?"
You shook your head in disbelief, "I don't understand-"
The larger male grunted and grabbed your neck to throw you against the solid hardwood of your bedroom, "You don't have to understand, my dear. But you do need to die. It'll be all over soon if you just hold still and stop your bitching." You landed with a large 'pop' sound as you tumbled painfully across your bedroom.
You didn't even have a second to grasp your new bearings before Jeff quickly lunged toward you like a wild animal going in for the kill. You dodged just in time for his knife to collide with the floor, and yelped when he popped it out and swiveled towards you. Feeling so small under that leer, you understood you were his prey and he was your predator.
Praying that your legs worked, you quickly sprinted out of the bedroom, and down the creaky floorboards of the dark hallway. You couldn't fucking care less what the hell he did your spine. It didn't hurt right now thanks to the adrenaline, but if you lived after this, it will be hell getting up on rainy days.
Swiveling around the stair rail, you stood, pausing to glance around for a place to hide. The kitchen? No, you couldn't fit in the cabinets with the shelves in place. Under the couch in the living room? That's way too fucking obvious, and the closet is even worse.
"C'mon, what'd I just SAY?!" The killer's voice bellowed from the hallway above you, and you didn't have a choice but to hide in the cupboard under the stairs in your panic.
"Maybe if you say, 'Oh please, Jeff! Spare my life! I'll do anything to live!' I'll let you say goodbye to your family!" The cottage stairs creaked above you. You moved into the cabin with Tim not too long after your house caught on fire. Was that because of his boss too? You had no idea, and really, you didn't have time to ponder it with a raging murderer in your home.
Jeff paced past the pantry you were crouched in, and paused just after. The silence was deafening, taunting you with the fear of him knowing. With your lungs burning for oxygen, you barely had enough control to keep your hands clutched on your mouth.
The light under the door shifted and separated behind Jeff's boots as he dragged his knife down the wood, supposedly crouching just inches away from you.
"I can hear you breathing, darling."
You weren't breathing, he was bluffing. But the punch on the door rattled you with a frightened scream and plea for pity on your damned soul.
"FOUND YOU!" He cackled and shouldered the door, ignoring your shrieks for mercy. The door finally gave in, and Jeff grabbed your ankle, dragging you out like a ragdoll. The living room was dark and only lit by the full moonlight from what you could see, but you were busy clawing at the floor and grabbing onto everything you could to put up resistance.
Jeff tossed you in front of him, and straddled you after an easily overpowered thump to the head. Spots freckled your vision for a few moments, and you expected to bleed out under his knife right there.
"Wake up," Jeff grabbed your jaw and shook your head side to side to bring you to, "I want to see your fear leave your eyes when you die." His gravelly voice would've been the last thing you heard if you hadn't managed to grab the knife when he brought it down above your head. Your eye was directly under the point of his knife. Even using both hands, he was still stronger than you with only using one. Your arms shook under his raw muscle, struggling to keep the blade above your head. Jeff could use his free hand to restrain you, but he definitely wanted to play around a bit.
The sound of a gunshot surprised both of you, and enough so you managed a little distance between the knife. Another gunshot. But, no...it wasn't a gun. Someone was hitting the house, just outside the living room backdoor.
You pray that it wasn't an accomplice to Jeff. Then you'd really have no chance of kissing Tim goodbye.
Another one.
And another.
They were growing closer until finally, three quick ones pounded the door. Jeff paused, and squinted towards the cabin door. Only a moment of silence passed before you flinched at the loud splintering of the door, but Jeff grabbed your face and kept your head pressed into the carpet. The pressure from your earlier head bump seared with throbbing pain, but there was a much bigger problem at hand than a headache.
Jeff leaned his head down beside you, keeping his eyes trained on the doorway of the murky dark. Maybe if he got down far enough, he could avoid the gaze of the intruder.
A piercing pearl colored mask cut through the darkness of the door hole, followed by a nest of familiar, messy brown locks. But most importantly, those haunting blue eyes sent a primal fear down Jeff's spine. The tall man cautiously crawled through the shattered wood, cocking his head as his eyes trained on Jeff's eternal smile. His arms flexed at awkward angles and the fibers to the tan jacket screeched while it ripped on the remains of your backdoor.
Masky has awakened.
The predator has become the prey.
You've only met Masky once, and it was not a pleasant encounter. Would Masky even recognize you? Would he kill both of you?
Masky stood at full stature, most likely towering over Jeff, considering he was standing instead of focusing on keeping you at bay.
"[Y/N]?" The deep, gritty voice called out into the living room, Masky turned slowly towards you both. Past Jeff's calloused fingers, you met the cold eyes of your significant other. Or what was left of him. You don't know if there were still remnants of your soft and loving Tim behind that mask.
The coldness in his eyes darted back towards Jeff. Masky craned his neck to peer behind the mask better.
"Tim, my guy! Listen, I know this probably looks bad-" Masky didn't have a weapon to counter Jeff's knife, but he still drove into Jeff with the confidence and full force of a semi-truck before he even finished his sentence.
You cried out, kicking the floor and swiftly scooting backward. You did not want to be dragged into whatever the fuck is about to go down. While sobbing, you found a corner to bury into as you watched your boyfriend, in horror, attempting to pummel Jeff to a bloody pulp.
You were terrified. What if you were next? Masky grabbed Jeff's raised wrist before he could even attempt a swing to his shoulder.
"Masky, be careful!" You cried, hugging yourself, and desperately watching them clash. Masky kicked Jeff's feet from under him, followed by a sickening crunch. They disappeared behind the couch, and while you couldn't see anything, you could hear the horrors of Jeff's skull cracking against the floor. Blood splattered against the newly painted wall after Masky's hand raised above the couch, and then plummeted towards Jeff's weak body.
Jeff was still breathing, smiling through that grin of his. "You can't kill me. We both know that. Boss will get pissy." Jeff turned his head and spit a tooth out, and whatever blood decided to follow.
Jeff was right, but that doesn't mean he can't knock the fucker unconscious.
You flinched at the final thump, regretting walking halfway towards the couch to check on the scene. Masky slowly stood, and turned to look at your quivering state. He wondered if you were hurt, he hoped not. It was a struggle to get here when he did, and was lucky he even got here at all. Walking around the couch, he kept his piercing eyes trained on you before pausing just mere inches away from your nose.
Masky huffed, staring at you through the uneven holes of the now blood-stained mask. He tilted his head, and carefully raised a shaking, gloved hand to graze a forming bruise on your temple. You involuntarily flinched when he finally touched you, but his gentle touch soothed you to tears. "Is it finally over?" You spoke through trembling lips.
The eyes he looked at you with felt no longer cold, no longer angry or vengeful. He felt safe. Like nothing can hurt you as long as Masky was there to protect you from the evil of the world.
Tim was there, behind that mask, lost somewhere in that forsaken mind of his. You smiled weakly, tilting your head up to lock onto his gaze.
You sniffed, and hurriedly wiped your tears away with your forearm. "Thank you, whoever the Hell you are right now." You greedily breathed in through your sobs as your vision spotted, and the room started to spin.
Masky nodded subtly, and continued his quiet stare. Then, quickly, he grabbed your swaying body, saving you from meeting the floor. Your multiple head injuries couldn't sustain your livelihood, and you passed out in the brunette's arms.
He'll deal with Jeff later. And Slender, for that matter. For now, Masky had to hide you again.
He vows to take you far away this time. No one will be able to hurt you, and you won't ever have to worry about another bastard trying to fill a commission.
He'll protect you, [Y/N]. Always.
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setzappersto-pew · 2 years
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StarKid and Musical Score #3
 “The Nightmare Time is gonna get you!”
StarKid’s Hatchetfield series is an incredible collection of musical horrors, tales of terror, and the deepest lore that keeps me up at night. The series includes StarKid’s three most recent full-length (I say this to distinguish them from StarKid’s actual most recent stage show, VHS Christmas Carol Live, which was only ~40 minutes) stage musicals, The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals, Black Friday, and Nerdy Prudes Must Die, and a series of “staged” musical short story readings performed over Zoom (and a nicer video conference platform for season 2) and livestreamed, Nightmare Time. All songs were written by Jeff Blim, and the score was provided by musical director Matt Dahan--who essentially improvised the entire background score for Nightmare Time! Matt used motifs from Jeff’s songs throughout the score to tie everything together as well.
A few things of note about Jeff’s work include his ability to play with genre and his use of diegetic music. Due to the nature of Nightmare Time, with the songs being often treated like music videos and therefore non-diegetic, Jeff has more room to play with different genres. Diegetic music, or music that the characters are aware of, plays a major role in how Hatchetfield functions as well.
Below the cut, I will further discuss Jeff’s use of genre, the importance of diegetic vs. non-diegetic music, and my favorite or most significant moments of Matt using motifs in the score. I will include a Google doc with a more comprehensive examination of motifs. And I will note, as I have before, that I am not a professional musician! I am well-versed in music form, instrumentation, and genre from being an amateur musician for a long time...but I had to look up a lot of this stuff. I’m just a lover of music and musicals and also a librarian who loves categorizing and analyzing things. Enjoy, and be cautious of spoilers!
First, here’s the Google doc. This took too much of my time, but of course I did it anyway. I attempted to list every time Matt used a motif from a Hatchetfield song in his background score, with some exceptions.
Here are some of my favorites: 
The Meteor Montage in TGWDLM foreshadows “Join Us (And Die)” “Show Me Your Hands”, and “Not Your Seed” as we see all the characters react to the meteor. It also is the first moment of any music at all after the opening number!
The origin of the “Nightmare Time” motif is in “Not Your Seed” in TGWDLM, and every instance of it in Black Friday and Nightmare Time makes me miss the days when that 7-note riff meant nothing to me. 
Matt’s use of “Somehow”, a deleted song, in Black Friday. This song was an Ethan song after “Feast or Famine” when he and Hannah talk right before he dies. The score in this moment is this song, and is used later in the show. Matt also uses in briefly in “Jane’s A Car” and a lot in “Yellow Jacket”!
The classic Christmas music, “Carol of the Bells” is sampled in “Wiggle” in Black Friday and is used to set scenes influenced by Wiggly.
The intertwined plots of “Forever and Always” and “Time Bastard” allow for some cool musical foreshadowing: when the Homeless Man intrudes near the beginning of “Forever and Always”, the music from “Time Bastard” plays because it is later revealed that the Homeless Man is Ted. In subsequent Nightmare Time 2 episodes, Matt uses the “Time Bastard” motif whenever Ted OR the Homeless Man are present! These include “Honey Queen”, “Abstinence Camp”, “Daddy”, and “Killer Track”.
“What Tim Wants” is referenced a lot in “Jane’s A Car”, but it often is specifically the “Flash...bang...Jane” bit of the song.
New themes Matt created for Nightmare Time: a theme for the Black Book and a theme for the Witchwood! They are not in any songs...yet. They are eerie and melancholy, and I just love them!
In “Yellow Jacket”, every use of “Join Us (And Die)”, “Let It Out”, and “The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals” really clues you in about the main threat, Otho. In case you didn’t put it together, Otho = Pokotho, the Singular Voice = the Apotheosis.
There are 2 themes that get focus in Nerdy Prudes Must Die: in my Google doc, I’ve dubbed them the “Nerdy Prudes Must Die motif” and the “Cool As I Think As I Am bridge”. The first, featured in the very first trailer for NPMD, is a piano riff (meant to emulate the themes from The Exorcist and Halloween) featured throughout the show and in a few songs, namely the title track and “Hatchet Town”. The second, the bridge from “Cool As I Think I Am”, is also used in the title track around the same time stamp as the first theme, in a reprise, and even “Just For Once”. The intertwining of these themes, not just as background music but in other songs, makes the show as a whole really cohesive.
Diegetic Music is Key
Diegetic music, or music that can be heard by the characters, is key to the plot of The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals and is used cleverly in the other shows as well. In TGWDLM, the very fact that Paul and the other characters can hear the songs is the main driving horror...which makes Hidgens seem all the more insane!
After seeing TGWDLM with these diegetic rules established, the opening to Black Friday is very jarring; “Tickle-Me Wiggly Jingle” is crazy enough, but the realization that it is only diegetic because it is a commercial puts us in a lull of relief. The other songs in Black Friday are generally non-diegetic. This is apparent when we see Tom just standing there singing while also seemingly driving to Lakeside Mall, the shoppers getting right back in line like nothing happened after “What Do You Say” and “Our Doors Are Open”, Lex having an out-of-body experience in “Black Friday”, and more. Songs like the jingle and “Deck the Halls (Of Northville High)” are commercials or in a movie, so those are diegetic. The one that might not fit the mold is “What If Tomorrow Comes”: Hannah really does seem to be singing, as the others seem confused...but then they join in anyway. Hannah can see all the realities and timelines, so it’s plausible she can break the fourth wall.
For Nerdy Prudes Must Die, it’s almost an even split, or there are songs that are semi-diegetic. In “Cool As I Think I Am”, the lyrics “I bet this song’ll suck” implies that Pete is really singing this song, but the Greek chorus behind him is unlikely to be real. It’s more just a tongue-in-cheek fourth wall break. “Dirty Girl” is Grace’s sexual fantasy, and I believe she would imagine singing as sexy song with Max. The fact that “[Grace] is snapping again” in “Bully the Bully” and “Bury the Bully” implies they really are singing these songs, or at least Grace is. “Go Go Nighthawks” is at least partially diegetic, because the actual fight song part at the end seems real. “Nerdy Prudes Must Die” and “Dirty Dudes Must Die” seem semi-diegetic, given the call and response between Max and Richie as well as Jason’s reaction to Grace’s madness. “Just For Once” is diegetic, as Ruth is literally singing this song on stage by herself. Finally, “The Summoning” is absolutely diegetic: the chanting to summon the Lords is definitely real, and I firmly believe the Lords would appear to their worshippers singing obnoxious songs and being chaos gremlins.
Nightmare Time is a whole other story. The songs are music videos essentially, so many are non-diegetic and more metaphorically connected and representative of the plot and characters. Exceptions: “The Blinky Song” and “Snoozle Town” are sung by the Sniggles at Watcher World; “Forever and Always” might be Paul and Emma’s wedding song; “The Witch in the Web” is the song Webby taught Hannah; Zoey really sings “Latte Hatte” at Beanies, and Linda really sings “Queen B” for her performance; Boy Jerry and Girl Jeri really sing “Virginity Rocks” to welcome the campers; Miss Holloway really sings “Run Away With Me”; and “Killer Track” plays multiple times as it plays over and over in Rose’s head. The latter is rather interesting because it’s played multiple times akin to the motifs Matt uses, but every instance is an actual instance of the song playing, whether by Kale or in Rose’s head.
Most StarKid musicals are diegetic, as evidenced by characters talking about their own or other characters singing. They break the fourth wall all the time. So, it was interesting in TGWDLM to see diegetic songs and have it be a problem! It tracks, then, that Black Friday, as the most serious StarKid show, is mostly non-diegetic.
Get Your Genres Here!
Disclaimer: For this part, I looked up a list of music genres. The problem is...there’s far too many and the distinction between them is often unclear for a non-professional like me. I’ll try my best, but for most I will have to be general in my classifcation. Modern musicals are especially hard to categorize because they tend to mix genres a lot.
Most of StarKid’s songs could be classified as rock or pop songs; while there are definite influences for some, most fall into the same category. They tread the line between rock or pop, jazz, and opera. TGWDLM follows this pattern as well. Most are rock/pop inspired songs, but more influenced by jazz with the prominent use of piano in some songs--electric guitar is still a major player in the “darker” songs, though. Some exceptions:
“Cup of Roasted Coffee” is swing, directly inspired by “Solid Potato Salad” (according to Jaime Lyn Beatty), a swing song from the 1940s.
“Join Us (And Die)” leans more towards hard rock, as does “Not Your Seed”. It’s the electric guitar and distortion, as well as Jaime’s vocals!
“Show Stoppin Number” is very “musical theatre”, if that counts as its own genre. But that was the point...it’s a very meta song. It’s almost strictly piano, which doesn’t automatically make it “musical theatre”, but it gives it that vibe. Also, when I say “musical theatre” as a genre, I typically mean musicals from the 1960s and before; Broadway in the 1970s and after began using more rock, pop, and other genres that fit the tone or plot. So, think like “Anything Goes”.
“America Is Great Again” takes inspiration from military marches, for obvious reasons. The steady snare drum really drives the song forward.
Black Friday is where it starts getting fun. Because the songs are mostly non-diegetic, Jeff had more freedom to play with genre. Most are roughly rock or pop, with some being more like rock ballads. The “darker” songs like “Made In America” or “Wiggle” make great use of synthesizer and heavy distorted guitar and bass. 
“Tickle-me Wiggly Jingle” is obviously a jingle (this is its own genre!). It sounds more like children’s music mixed with dance music, as it uses synthesizer and claps as the main instrumentation.
“CaliforM.I.A.” is hard rock or alternative rock. Electric guitar, heavy drumset, driving bass, and Angela and Robert’s vocals give me that vibe.
“Our Doors Are Open” is Motown, a type of early soul/R&B popularized by Black singers in 1960s Detroit, Michigan (a fitting song for a Black man in Hatchetfield, Michigan like Frank Pricely!), and a bit of Doo wop--which is really just slower and smoother Motown. Tight drums, driving bass, smooth vocals (especially the “doo-wop” parts), and jazz/big band instrumentation. Think of The Temptations (”My Girl”) or The Supremes. Just listen to the first track of this Motown compilation, and you’ll get it.
“Monsters and Men” is again based on military marches, because PEIP and MacNamara, but it has a specific inspiration as well. In the commentary track, Jeff states that he based this heavily on the song “Into the Fire” from the Broadway musical The Scarlet Pimpernel. Both give me “One Day More” or “Red and Black” from Les Misérables vibes, for a more well-known example.
“Deck the Halls (Of Northville High)” is just a rock song, but obviously based on High School Musical...specifically “Get’cha Head in the Game”, “Stick to the Status Quo”, “We’re All In This Together”, “What Time Is It” , and “All For One”--the last two are from High School Musical 2. The big group numbers and cheesy pop tracks are so early 2000s Disney.
“What If Tomorrow Comes” feels like New Wave alternative based on the instrumentation: synthesizers (bell tones and strings) alongside guitar and drums (often synthetic, but not in this case). There’s a lot I haven’t heard before, but I haven’t heard anything like this song before.
For Nightmare Time, Jeff just went wild, and we applaud him for it! Since the songs were more abstract and metaphorically connected, they could really be any genre and still work. In this case, Jeff also made musical references to specific categories of songs, not just genres.
The theme song mixes the piano and synthesizer so well, I really don’t know what it is. Electronic and rock; there can be more than one genre. It’s just a banger!
“The Hatchetfield Ape-Man” is kind of jazz, kind of swing, kind of boogie-woogie blues. I can imagine Jaime Lyn singing this at a 1920s speakeasy.
“The Blinky Song” is similar to “Tickle-Me Wiggly Jingle”, obviously on purpose, in that it is kind of a mix of children’s music, dance music, and swing in this case.
“Snoozle Town” is just a pop ballad.
“One Thousand Eyes” is EDM, house, dubstep--not sure, because EDM has A LOT of subgenres. Think like Daft Punk, Cascada, Marshmello, “Levels” by Avicii, “Sandstorm” by Darude. When that bass drops...mmm, it’s nice.
“Forever and Always” is a very “musical theatre” love song or ballad.
“Time Bastard” is a James Bond song, an obvious reference to “Goldfinger”. Even the video parodies the opening to that movie! Some other similar James Bond themes: “Diamonds Are Forever” and “Skyfall” (by Adele!). Wikipedia lists these songs as orchestral pop and R&B/soul.
“Peanuts!” is, I guess, electronic music, as it uses all synthesized MIDI instrumentation. It reminds me of something, but I really have no idea. It’s just weird and I love it.
"Jane’s A Car” leans towards country, but is still more of a rock song. Driving down a country road makes me think of modern country music.
“The Witch in the Web” is a sweet little indie folk song. I’m thinking like Ingrid Michaelson, Lenka, She & Him (Zooey Deschanel!), or the more chill Florence + The Machine songs.
“The Web I Spin For You” is indie pop and electronic. I could see a remix playing at a rave. It kind of reminds me “Yellow Flicker Beat” by Lorde, but really just the vibes.
“Honey Queen” is a parody of the stereotypical pageant song. For real, the Miss America pageant has its own song. As for genre, it’s a slow, sweeping jazz song.
“Latte Hatte” has two parts: the first is swing or boogie-woogie blues, like a burlesque show, while the chorus is mixed more with pop.
“Queen B” is electronic pop with a bit of rap--the verses are rapped, go Lauren! This type of heavily-electronic pop is reminiscent of Lady Gaga and Kesha. Specifically, I’m feeling “Bad Romance”, “Applause”, and “I Like It Rough” by Lady Gaga; and “Take It Off” by Kesha.
“The Nibbly Ditty” is EDM and reminds me of “Sandstorm” by Darude. The break in the middle (”Nibbly needs a sacrifice”) reminds me of a similar break in one Fall Out Boy song, “Tiffany Blews”, which is otherwise totally unrelated to this song...it’s just a weird association that my mind went to. Other than that, it’s just a cool and weird song.
“Perky’s Buds” is jazz, just listen to that sexy saxophone! The piano and drums also contribute to this feel. 
“Axe Man” is electronic rock, but it takes influence from some iconic themes. “Abstinence Camp” as a story is an homage to teen slasher movies like “Friday the 13th”, “A Nightmare on Elm Street”, and “Scream”, so it follows that the anthem would do the same. The synthesizer/piano parts remind me of the themes from “Halloween” and “The Exorcist”. The whole thing reminds me of Stranger Things as well. Basically, any teen horror/sci-fi from or inspired by the 1980s and 1990s will fit the mood.
“Virginity Rocks” is alternative rock, but I can so imagine Boy Jerry and Girl Jeri singing this song at a church where the pastor wears jeans and is a Cool Guy™️. Christian rock is a strange thing in that one of the more famous groups is a metal group, but others are more indie. I grew up Catholic, so we sang hymns instead of those worship songs that try to get kids excited for Jesus. But I can just tell that “Virginity Rocks” would be a hit at Protestant youth groups.
“Young At Heart” is absolutely arena rock a la Journey or REO Speedwagon. I hear the similarities to “Don’t Stop Believin” or “Keep on Loving You”. The persistent piano, echoing drums, and powerful electric guitar really sell it.
“Killer Track”...uuuuuh, death metal. Is that too on the nose? Death metal and screamo.
“Run Away With Me” is 1980s pop in the same vein as Tiffany, Pat Benatar, Kate Bush, Bonnie Tyler, etc. Kim’s vocals also remind me of Kelly Clarkson, a 2000s pop star.
“Nightmare Time (Needy Beast cover)” is a 2000s punk rock cover of the main theme. Influences of both the instrumentation and Joey’s vocals include Blink-182, Sum 41, Yellowcard, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Bowling for Soup, Good Charlotte, etc.
“Yellow Jacket” is 1990s and 2000s punk and pop, but in the vein of Avril Lavigne, Alanis Morrissette, and Paramore. I can hear this type of song playing in a 2000s teen movie starring Lindsay Lohan.
“Use It or Lose It” is EDM and pop, but it specifically reminds me of Europop groups from the 1990s, like Aqua (Barbie Girl!), Toy-Box, and Ace of Base. Jaime’s high vocals really help sell it.
“Next Time” reminds me of “Seasons of Love” from Rent, which was probably purposeful on Jeff’s part. It also reminds me of Jim and the Povolos, a group featuring many StarKids and of which Jeff was a part at one point. It’s just kind of indie rock.
EDIT: Now, in 2023, we can finally add Nerdy Prudes Must Die to the lineup! A lot of the songs are rock or pop, like the previous stage shows and a lot of modern musicals. The vibes I get from many songs and the whole show remind me of musicals like Heathers, Be More Chill, Dear Evan Hansen, Mean Girls, etc. Here are several genre choices or specific references that stand out to me:
“Cool As I Think I Am” gives me “Waving Through a Window” or “Michael in the Bathroom” vibes: an awkward teen lamenting his awkwardness.
“Dirty Girl” is heavy on the sexy 80s synth, mixed in with some R&B grooves.
“Bully the Bully” and “Bury the Bully” have some swing vibes, and influenced by “Cool” from West Side Story (confirmed in commentary track)
“Go Go Nighthawks!” is a school fight song, which are generally inspired by classic American marches by composers like John Philip Sousa.
“Nerdy Prudes Must Die” is heavy rock, but the part I want to focus on is the piano motif that is featured frequently throughout the show. This motif is purposefully reminiscent of themes from classic horror movies like The Exorcist and Halloween.
“Just for Once” is supposed to be from an in-universe musical, The Barbecue Monologues, so Jeff had the opportunity to take inspiration from more traditional theatre. The song feels very Sondheim-esque (Jeff said the same in the commentary track), with the quick and clever lyrics and the back-and-forth between the verse and chorus and even the sort of “talking instead of singing”. I’m feeling like “On the Steps of the Palace” from Into the Woods, or “Ladies Who Lunch” from Company.
“If I Loved You”, as per the commentary track, is inspired by “Take Me or Leave Me” from Rent and “i2i” from A Goofy Movie. The first fits the message and vibes of a modern musical love song, and the second is just the musicality and instrumentation.
“The Summoning” is just pure chaos, honestly. And I love every second of it. The beginning is religious chanting, which I suppose is its own genre. The rest of the song is just insanity that transcends everything. Amazing.
“The Best of You” brings back that modern YA musical vibe again, almost perfectly bookending the show. It also has a 2000s pop-punk vibe that I really like! Fun fact from the commentary track: this was originally intended to be a song by the in-universe band Needy Beast, the band from Nightmare Time 2 episode “Killer Track”...hence the 2000s pop-punk feel.
And thus ends my StarKid and Musical Score series. There’s only a few StarKid musicals left in the rewatch, and I don’t feel as if the music in those is as strong--though I still enjoy them! I might make smaller posts, but this is the final big post. Thanks for reading all of this!
This post took way too long to make, but I hope you all think it was worth it! I really enjoy analyzing music like this, and I feel like this is one of the only ways I can contribute to new ideas in the fandom. My brain is spiraling from all of the Hatchetfield lore, but I can’t ever put any theories into words. I’m much better at doing this, even if I may have missed some obvious sound-alikes or references or missed the mark on some.
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nashibirne · 3 years
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Please don't stop the music
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Pairing: Clark × y/n / reader
Summary: Clark Kent is your neighbour and good friend but over the last months you've fallen in love with him. Clark has no clue because you're way too shy to make a move on him. So you yearn for him secretly. Until today...
Credits: This was inspired by @fuckoffbard 's fantastic playlists for some of Henry's characters. Check them out, there's such a lot of great, inspiring music to discover!
Warnings: pure fluff, lots of kissing and smut too, virgin reader, deflowering, first time, sex, unprotected sex, all vanilla and sweet, friends to lovers, nsfw, 18+
Unbeta'ed! English is not my mother tongue, so read with caution. 
This is my first try to write from reader's perspective. There's a lot of "you" and "he" in it but I hope it's okay.
Tags:
@agniavateira @lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red
So...let's get the party started
"That was delicious, Clark. The best chicken pot pie I've ever had." You lean back in your chair with a satisfied sigh, placing a hand on your belly. "Thanks. It's my mum's recipe. I'm glad you liked it." "I did. It will take some beating to make something better next friday."
You have established kind of a habit over the last few weeks. Every Friday night you cook for each other and watch Netflix together afterwards. This week it's been Clark's turn to cook for you in your apartment. Those nights are heaven and hell at the same time for you. It's heavenly to spend so much time with him, to be close to him but the constant secret craving is dreadful. You could do something about it, sure, but that would mean to lower your guard, to expose yourself, to run the risk of getting rejected and hurt and even worse of losing Clark as a friend. 
Apart from the fact that you are almost pathologically shy you wouldn't even know how to make a move on him because you've never done something like this before. You have never confessed your feelings for someone, you've never made the first step. You've never been in a relationship. You have never done more than kissing. You are a grown up woman and still a virgin.
At least in real life. In your fantasy you are an experienced badass of a woman, in your dreams you are a self-confident bomb shell, in the short stories you secretly write you do all the naughty things you've never done in reality though you'd love to. Your fictional alter ego does all the things you yearn for. She's straight forward, extroverted, sexy. The hottest guys fall for her as soon as they lay eyes on her. She knows how to please a man and how to make a man please her. She knows no limits, no taboos, no coyness. 
And thanks to internet research, porn, fan fiction and masturbation you know everything about sex - technique, positions, kinks, toys, language. You're a pro in theory and clueless in real life. 
"So what about some music." Clark interrupts your thoughts. Still a little absent you point at your mobile. "Sure, just choose a playlist. The app should be opened."
You regret your words as soon as they've left your mouth.
Shit.
Clark grabs your phone and starts scrolling through the music app.
Please, don't see it. Please, don't see it. Please, don't see it.
"You have a playlist called Clark?"
Fuck!
"Umm...yes?"
He chuckles and gives you a funny look. His beautiful blue eyes find yours and your heart starts racing.
"Why?"
"What do you mean why? Just because." How can you ever explain to him that this playlist includes all the cheesy, steamy, sad and cheerful songs that make you think about him. That you listen to when you daydream about him.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Clark laughs, leaning forward, cocking his head. "You make a playlist and name it after me for no reason?"
Ground swallow me up...
"Who says I named it after you?" You cross your arms in front of your chest defensively.
"So there's another man called Clark in your life? Who's he?"
Think for heaven's sake. Think.
"Well...um..."
"Yes?" Clark grins, obviously having fun watching your attempt to wriggle out of this situation.
"Well, if you must know...you're right. It is named after you. It was supposed to be a surprise. I put all the songs in it, I think you might like. I planned to send you the link for your birthday."
Good...badass move.
You sigh with relief a little too loud.
"Oh really? That's nice. Great idea actually."
"Thanks."
"Can we listen to it?"
"No! Of course not. You'd spoil the surprise!"
"Oh, come on, y/n. You have seven months left to add new songs."
Shit.
Without waiting for permission Clark starts the playlist and you're horrified when you hear 'Addicted' by Saving Abel. Of all songs he's chosen one of the sexiest. Heaven help!
"Never heard of this one. Sounds great. I like Rock." Clark says, listening to the lyrics carefully.
I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me In between the sheets
Oh the sounds you make With every breath you take
It's unlike anything When you're loving me
"Interesting choice." he mumbles with a smirk and a wink that makes you blush.
"Yeah...now give me my phone."
"No way." Clark laughs and skips to the next song. You smile when 'Chicken Fried' by the Zac Brown Band starts playing. This song feels like home for you and you love imagining you and Clark visiting a bar that plays country music where you have a beer and dance all night long.
You know I like my chicken fried
Cold beer on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio up
You can't help but nod your head to the rhythm, humming along. Clark raises an eyebrow, watching you curiously, a smile playing on his lips. "So what's next?" 
'I wanna kiss you all over' by Exile sounds from the little Bluetooth speaker on the table now.
I wanna kiss you all over
And over again
I wanna kiss you all over
Till the night closes in
"Oohh..." Clark wiggles his eyebrows. "Seventies rock...really?"
"Yes. Really." you snap and grab for your phone but Clark's too fast. He grabs it first and presses it to his broad chest. 
"Come on, Kent. Choose another playlist. That's stupid." You are really annoyed and embarrassed now.
"Why? It's pretty interesting which kind of songs you've chosen for me. Tim McGraw, Chris Stapleton, Jeff Bates..seems I strike you as a country guy." He scrolls through the playlist with a big grin. "And what's that?" He starts laughing again, skipping to the next song. "Barry Manilow?" 
'Can't smile without you' That's maybe the cheesiest song ever but you love it so so  much. Every single word of the lyrics expresses what you feel for Clark so accurately. The melody makes you so happy, everytime you hear it you picture yourself and Clark as a happy, loving couple, spending a wonderful day in the park. Just like the couples in chick flicks do it all the time. Kissing and laughing and holding hands, making a little picnic on the lawn beside a lake, drinking champagne and eating strawberries from each other's hands. 
And you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you
You sigh thinking about it but Clark is close to a laughing fit. "Please, y/n. Tell me you don't seriously think I like that kind of music." He wipes away a tear from the corner of his eye. You press your lips together unable to say anything. You realize you're on the brink of bursting into tears and you get up from your chair quickly.
"Just delete the songs you don't like, there's no need to make fun of me." You turn around and stare out of the window, no longer able to hold back tears.
"Hey, y/n. What the hell...." Clark is by your side within seconds. He looks at you with a worried and confused expression. "Hey." he says softly again. "What's up, why are you crying?" He takes you by your shoulders gently and turns you around to make you look at him. "I'm sorry. I was just teasing you. Please...don't cry."
You sob and rub your eyes to stop the tears from falling.
"No, I'm sorry. I'm being ridiculous. It's just...that stupid playlist. You weren't supposed to see it..."
"It's not really a birthday surprise, is it?"
You shake your head.
"So what is it." 
You don't dare to look at him. You just stare at your feet without saying a word.
"Y/n?" He touches your shoulder and a shiver runs down your spine.
"I can't tell you." you whisper.
"Why not?"
"It's silly."
"I'm sure it's not. Just tell me, okay?"
You lift your head to look at him. You gulp when you realize how close he's standing to you. His eyes meet yours and he gives you an encouraging nod. "Okay. I'm going to tell you under one condition."
"Yes?"
"Promise me not to say anything about it. I tell you what the playlist is about and you won't say a word, okay? We will never talk about this again."
Clark stares at you for several seconds. "Okay." He finally agrees with a frown.
You swallow hard, closing your eyes, taking a deep breath before you open them again. Clark takes your hands in his. "Whatever it is. You can tell me." You know he wants to reassure you but to feel your hands in his makes you even more nervous. At the same time you would never  want to let go because the sensation of closeness and intimacy is so incredible. You clear your throat, knowing full well that it's too late to back down.
You can do this. 
"The playlist... It's not for you it's more...about you." You look him in the eyes and he smiles at you, nodding slightly, indicating to you to go on. "All these songs, they are somehow connected to you. They remind me of you. They make me think about you. They make me dream about you." Your voice fades into a whisper. "Because I'm in love with you."
You lower your eyes and stare at your feet. Several seconds pass before you feel his finger under your chin. Clark lifts your head gently and makes you look at him. He keeps his promise and doesn't say a word. Instead he brings his lips close to yours and you look at him with surprise. In his eyes you see happiness and lust and you gasp when you realize that he's about to kiss you. 
When his lips touch yours, time seems to stand still. When he starts kissing you tenderly the world stops turning for a moment. The kiss intensifies and you feel like you're melting in his embrace, in his strong arms. You feel his hands on your waist, sliding under your blouse and you mirror his actions, following his lead. When he feels your touch he moans softly into your mouth.
Clark pulls away and breaks the kiss, he's just as breathless as you.  "Am I allowed to say something? Not related to the...you know what." he asks with a smirk.
You giggle and nod your head. "Sure."
He cups your face with his big hands and looks you deep in the eyes.
"I'm in love with you too, y/n. More than you can imagine maybe. More than I could have imagined before I met you."
"Clark..." You kiss him again and things heat up quickly. You can feel his fingers all over your body, his lips all over your skin. You can tell how aroused he is by the huge bulge in his jeans that presses against you. His moans are so incredibly sexy, the way he whispers naughty little things into your ear makes you shiver. Your panties are soaked and you wonder if this is normal or if he's going to be disgusted when he finds out.
You get your answer only seconds later. Clarks hand is between your thighs now, wandering higher, underneath your skirt, until it reaches your crotch. It slides over your panties between your legs with light pressure which causes you to sigh with lust and desire.
"You're all wet for me." Clark whispers in your ear. "So sexy..." He's heavily breathing now and you get turned on even more. "I want you. I want you so much" he moans into your neck, his hands on your breasts playing with your nipples.
"I want you too, Clark." You groan loudly, when sucks on the sensitive spot above your collarbone.
He pulls away, gives you a smirk and takes your hand, leading you to your bed, that is placed in the corner of your one-room-apartment.
You're about to lay down but he stops you.
"Not so fast." He kisses you again and then he begins to take off his clothes. When he's done and you finally dare to take a look, you can't help but let out a little whistle. "Wow. You're shredded...and...big." You're amazed and scared at the same time.
Jesus. How's this supposed to fit?
Clark seems to read your mind. "Don't worry, you're gonna like it." He gives you a sexy lopsided smile and pulls you close. The next round of hot, passionate kisses follows and he starts to unbutton the light summer blouse you're wearing and strips it off you body. You take off your skirt and feel very self-conscious when you stand so close to him in only your underwear. 
"Look at you. You're beautiful." Clark whispers in your ear while he unclasps your bra. Only seconds later it lands beside the bed together with your panties.
"You're beautiful." He repeats and you blush. You reach out your hand and touch his chest. He grabs your hand and presses it on the spot above his racing heart. You're relieved that he seems to be a little nervous too. He grins and gives you a light, playful push and you fall on your bed, landing on your back. When you smile at him he plops down on the bed right by your side and kisses you again. Your hands start exploring your naked bodies. You touch Clark's cock shyly and caress it carefully. It feels wonderful, smooth like velvet and hard as a rock.
"Fuck, y/n. That's great. So hot..." Clark growls in a dark voice full of arousal and he starts stroking your pussy. His fingers run through your wet folds and he rubs your clit, making you whimper with pleasure.
"Oh god." you sigh. This feels so much better than you could ever have imagined. So much better than doing it yourself. He's rough and gentle at the same time and you love it.
When you feel one of his fingers at your entrance you flinch. 
"Clark, wait!" You make him stop before he pushes in.
"What's wrong?"
"I've never done this before." 
"This?" He's visibly confused.
"Sex." you say, giving him a sheepish smile.
Clark sits up straight, taken by surprise.
Shit...Mood killer
"You're a virgin?" he asks with an amazed frown.
"Yes. I'm sorry..."
"There's no reason to be sorry, babe. I just wasn't expecting that. It's okay." He gives you a tender little kiss. "We don't have to do it tonight, if you don't want to. We can wait. Do it another time."
Nope. Not gonna happen.
"No! I've waited long enough. I want this. I want to sleep with you. Tonight. Now." You say insistently. "I just wanted you to know why I'm so clumsy and insecure." 
"You're not clumsy. You are doing this perfectly." 
"Okay." You sigh with relief.
"So do you want me to go on?" You feel his fingers on your pussy again.
"Yes." You moan.
Clarks starts pleasuring you with his hand again. He stimulates your clit, strokes your folds and gently fingers you, finding your g-spot without problems and soon you're a panting, whimpering mess.
"Clark...fuck..."
"You like that, y/n?"
"I do. I'm close..."
"Then come for me, babe." 
And that's what you do. You close your eyes and a powerful orgasm runs through your body, causing you to convulse with loud shrieks and long, lustful moans. When you look at Clark again he smirks and carefully climbs on top of you.
"Are you ready for me?"
"Yes." You nod eagerly.
"Sure? I need to hear that you want this, angel."
"I want it. Fuck me, Clark." You hiss when you feel the tip of his huge dick press against your entrance.
"I'll be careful. I promise." He smiles and strokes your cheek. "Whenever you feel uncomfortable just tell me and I'll stop, okay?"
"Okay." 
Clark kisses a trail from your mouth down your neck to your tits where he sucks your nipples, gently biting them. You sigh and you can't wait to feel him inside of you. You lift your hips and Clark slowly pushes his cock into your pussy, bit by bit he enters you carefully and it feels sensational. He stops when he reaches your hymen and then he quickly pushes through. The pain you feel is sharp but it's over in the blink of an eye and all you feel afterwards is pleasure. The pleasure of Clarks dick stretching you to the max, filling you completely. 
"You're ok?" He looks at you, searching your eyes for any sign of pain or disapproval. 
"I'm good. This feels great." you whisper and when he starts moving carefully with slow, short thrusts you moan his name again and again.
"Fuck, you are so tight...this is...spectacular." Clarks voice is raspy and he picks up speed a little. "You take me so well, babe." He moans out of breath. "I'm close." 
His thrusts get harder and faster but he's still careful and gentle. It doesn't take him long to cum hard with a loud growl. He collapses on top of you and you kiss passionately, hugging each other tightly while his dick is still inside of you. When he finally pulls out and rolls off  you both sigh in unison.
"That was wonderful, Clark."
"Did it hurt?" He looks at you with a worried expression on his handsome face.
"Just a tiny little bit." You say and rest your head on his chest, playing with his chest hair.
You giggle when you hear 'Tennessee Whiskey" by Chris Stapleton sounding from the speaker.
"The playlist is still running. Maybe I should stop it." you say, ready to get up and look for your phone but Clark stops you.
"Don't" he murmurs. "Your playlist is perfect. So please don't stop the music." 
"Sure?"
"Sure. Can't wait to make love to you to every single song." And with a smirk on his lips he falls asleep and you close your eyes too, feeling immensely happy, satisfied and loved.
302 notes · View notes
365days365movies · 3 years
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May 7, 2021: TRON (1982)
Starting to leave lo-fi sci-fi with this one.
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Can I just say, I am VERY excited for this one. Mostly because it’s hard to get more ‘80s than this movie, specifically in terms of computers. I’ll explain. Y’know Jurassic Park? Yeah, the same movie I’ve brought up far, FAR too many times this month. Is...is that my favorite sci-fi movie? Shit, it might be? I’ve read the books, I’ve seen the movie COUNTLESS times...I’m pretty sure it is! Huh. Go figure. Anyway, where was I?
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Oh, right! Remember the most irritating character in the movie? This is, in my opinion, older sister Lex Murphy. In the book, for the record, she’s a VERY different character. She’s the youngest sibling amongst the two, and she’s a sports nerd who hates dinosaurs. And she’s also the most annoying character in the book, so at least they kept that consistent. However, you may be saying to yourself: “Jesus, this dude really loves Jurassic Park. Even in the intro for Tron, he’s talking about it. Why the hell does he keep bringing it up?”
Well, allow me to explain. When I was 9 years old, I was super into two things: dinosaurs and reading. You may think that I wasn’t very popular in school as a result. And the truth won’t surprise you. Anyway, on January 3rd, 2001, it was a cold morning in the supermarket when
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...OK, lemme get to the point. IT’S A UNIX SYSTEM!
See, this moment when Lex hacks into the computer to reactivate the locks (a task given to Tim in the book, but whatever) does two things. One, it makes Lex relevant in a film and story where she’s almost entirely unneeded. And two, it established something in the minds of movie-watchers everywhere: a completely misguided idea of what computer programming is.
And this is just one of MANY examples of Hollywood weirdly representing computers to the public. This was kind of a trend throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s, as computers were beginning to become available to the public. Examples are:
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WarGames (1983), dir. John Badham
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Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), dir. James Cameron
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Revenge of the Nerds (1984), dir. Jeff Kanew
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Weird Science (1985), dir, John Hughes
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Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), dir. Russo Bros
That last one isn’t a great example, and it’s not even within the right time period. I just love Arnim Zola, and he NEEDS TO RETURN to the MCU. Goddamn it, I want this guy back, complete with his full robot body! COME ON FIEGE, LOOK AT THIS GUY! That last one may or may not be my fanart for the character with my own design NEVERTHEGODDAMNLESS!
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Look, all you gotta do is connect the various machinations of Arnim Zola to the foundations of AIM, which is easy given their link in the comics. Zola and his fellow Paperclip scientists helped fund Aldrich Killian’s AIM, and the project to give Zola his sick-ass robot body eventually wound up being a part of the project that would create the hovering robotic chair used by this guy.
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THIS IS ALL I’VE EVER WANTED PLEASE
...Ahem.
Anyway, the weird-ass ways that Hollywood’s represented computers, hacking, and all other associated things can be traced back to 1982, when the first film to use mostly computer generated imagery for its setting was created. This was, of course, Disney’s TRON. And while I haven’t seen it before...I’ve see its sequel in theaters?
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On a related note, Tron Legacy might be a mediocre film with a mediocre soundtrack, but GODDAMN DO IT LOVE THE FUCKING VISUALS. It’s genuinely my favorite aesthetic. That whole “outlined in light” thing? Goooooooh, BABY, how I love it.
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Style over substance, but OH THE FUCKING STYLE
Anyway, despite that, I’m looking forward to seeing where the whole thing came from. I dig that style, too. Is there a name for those aesthetics? Let me know, so I can devote my life to it forever. Anyway, shall we get started?
SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Recap
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So, we start this movie off with a BANG, jumping into an arcade where two kids are playing none other than Lightcycle, and jumping into said Lightcycles to meet one of the drivers, Sark (David Warner). A sadistic program, he takes great pleasure in executing programs in Lightcycle races.
One of these programs, in fact, is being brought into imprisonment now, to be set against Sark in a race. The program, Crom (Peter Jurasik), speaks with fellow prisoner Ram (Dan Shor), where we get some idea of the lore of this place. Many programs believe in “the Users”, god-like figures who they believe created them and tell them what to do. However, the mysterious Master Control Program is rounding up the programs that believe in Users, taking over their functions or executing them. Diggin’ the lore so far.
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In the real world, we meet Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges), a computer programmer commanding his own program, Clu (also Bridges), and...look, I’m not sure what they’re doing, but OHHH. IT’S A UNIX SYSTEM, BABY. The beautiful bullshit that this movie uses to denote computer activity and programming, it’s...MMMMMMMMMCHEF’SKISS, it’s so FUCKING GOOD!
Anyway, Clu’s apparently being sent to find some information, but he’s caught by Master Control. Jeff Bridges shows off some pretty over-the-top acting, but it’s charming as hell. Clu’s interrogated by Master Control Program (also Warner), and killed, or “derezzed”. This frustrates Flynn, but why?
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Well, we get a clue from MCPs concentration with Ed Dillinger (David Warner), who arrives at his office in the COOLEST FUCKING HELICOPTER I HAVE EVER SEEN. I will never make enough money to have this helicopter, but maybe one day I can do it to a car, holy shit. Anyway, Dillinger lands and enters the ENCOM building, where he speaks with his computer table, which contains MCP.
Is this a thing with computer programmers? Do they, like, physically talk to their programs, and the programs talk back? Is this a thing that happens? Are the conversations interesting? Are IT people literally computer-whisperers? I gotta talk to my friends in computer sciences and IT about this.
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Apparently, Flynn’s been snooping around their servers for a specific file, and they’re trying to stop him from getting that file. Meanwhile, in an office in the building, a man named Alan Bradley (Bruce Boxleitner) is blocked out of the system in an attempt to flush out Flynn’s location. Bradley’s summoned to the office for what seems like a routine interview, but is actually more of an investigation. Doesn’t go anywhere.
On a side note, by the way, it would appear that MCP is somewhat in control of Dillinger. Although, how and why is unknown. In any case, he’s attempting to amass power. Additionally, the fact that he’s directly speaking to one of the Users is...interesting. And on a second side note, Bradley is preparing something, a security program called “Tron”. That might come up later.
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MEANWHILE, elsewhere in the building, a group of scientists are conducting an experiment to digitize solid matter and transport it into computers. It succeeds with an orange, much to their delight and celebration. One of these scientists is Lora Baines (Cindy Morgan), Flynn’s ex-girlfriend and Alan’s current girlfriend. They go to the arcade to reconvene with Flynn, much to Alan’s irritation.
Flynn not only owns the place, he’s also a game whiz, brilliant computer programmer, and recently fired ex-employee of ENCOM. He’s also been sneaking into the ENCOM system, and he details exactly why he’s moving against them. While working for ENCOM, he had started writing programs for some very complex video games, which could’ve have made him quite a bit of money. But Dillinger stole his files, and uses it to climb up the ranks to Senior Executive of ENCOM, while Flynn lounges in relative poverty. He’s planning on getting into the system to get evidence of Dillinger’s wrongdoing.
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The trio plots to take down Dillinger and get the evidence together, breaking into ENCOM that night. Meanwhile, Dillinger’s meeting with Walter Gibbs (Barnard Hughes), a co-founder of the company, and one of the other scientists who made the digitizing machine. Dillinger says YOUR TIME IS OVER OLD MAN, and brushes off his concerns about he’s handing the company.
He’s not the only one with issues, as MCP decides to take over FOR Dillinger. Apparently, Dillinger’s talents are stealing data and creating Cybernet/HAL 9000. Good job, buddy. But that may end, when Alan goes to finish and install his program, Tron, which will hopefully take MCP down. Meanwhile, Lora and Flynn go to the basement with the digitizing machine. At the computer terminal, MCP decides to stop Flynn by...well, you know where this is headed.
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Yup! Flynn’s brought into the computer by Lora’s machine, and is digitized and put into the game grid. And since we’ll be spending a lot of time there, I think I need to acknowledge something: I really love how this movie looks. The CGI is rudimentary, but it’s used surprisingly well. Consider that this is also made in an era where this is the kind of imagery that computers could literally generate at the time, and you’ve got a pretty great movie in-context.
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Flynn, now in those spiffy program duds, is sent by the MCP to compete in the Game Grid, under Sark’s supervision and tutelage. He’s thrown into the brig with the other imprisoned programs, where he learns more about this world. Once brought into the throes of the Game Grid, he’s told that those who believe in the Users are to be trained poorly, ensuring their inevitable death. Meanwhile, those who renounce their belief will be spared. And of all the programs who still believe in the Users, there is none quite as powerful...as Tron (Bruce Boxleitner again).
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We see Tron’s badass skills in Ultimate Frisbee. And OK, it’s not Ultimate Frisbee, but you throw discs that contain all of your essence and all of the things you’ve learned in your time there. You basically pour your entire essence and being into the disc as you throw it. So, really, it is Ultimate Frisbee, according to that one dude who’s REALLY into Ultimate Frisbee.
Flynn is commanded to play one of these games, and he winds fairly easily. However, when he defeats his opponent, he’s almost about to die. However, Flynn refuses to finish him off, leading Sark to do so instead. And Sark is tempted to kill Flynn as well, but he holds off at the last moment.
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Flynn finally gets to meet Tron, where he feigns being a program that knows of his User, Alan. Of course, Tron looks exactly like Alan, which is why Flynn blurts out his name. But as they’re discussing this, Flynn, Tron, and fellow prisoner Ram are sent to compete in the Lightcycles. And, yes, I’m now looking for a game like this on my phone, because GODDAMN to I love Lightcycles. Can’t WAIT for the Disney World ride, oh my GOOOOD. 
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So, our guys get in the Lightcycles, and they outmaneuver Sark’s guys. They’re actually able to escape the arena and the Game Grid, making it outside the citadel. They encounter a, uh, bitstream, and soak up some energy before moving on. On the way, though, they’re nearly killed by Sark’s guys in tanks, and Tron is separated from Flynn an the unconscious Ram.
Flynn and Ram finds a place to rest and hide, and Flynn discovers that, as a User, he actually has the ability to somewhat manipulate the reality within the computer, and he makes a version of MCPs ships, the Recognizers, which resemble the villains in Flynn’s game that Dillinger stole. Now realizing that Flynn is a user, Ram asks him to help Tron, before dying and disappearing into pure code. Whoof.
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Tron, meanwhile, ends up finding an input/output program named Yori (Cindy Morgan), who helps him in his escape. She takes him through the city, where we see some interesting designs for control programs, almost like a Hunger Games Panem sort of deal.
Flynn has trouble driving his ship, as he meets a “bit”, a small bit of data that only answers in yes or no. He, too, ends up in the city, and you start to notice that this film has a really heavy influence in our cyberpunk concepts and fashions today. Honestly, I really dig this whole thing. Kevin uses his programming powers to disguise himself as one of Sark’s guards, while Yori and Tron find their way through the main citadel of the guards.
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They make their way through to the access tower, where they ask the program Dumont (Barnard Hughes again) to let them access the interface that will allow them to speak with the Users, specifically Alan. Reluctantly, Dumont agrees to let Tron through, where he goes to the access port. Which, for the record, looks awesome. He goes to speak with Alan, and he does that one pose. Y’know, the famous Tron pose that’s on the poster?
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Yeah, that’s the good stuff. Anyway, he gets information written onto his disc that’ll allow him to kill MCP. Neat. And unfortunately, that’s exactly when Sark and his guys show up, taking Dumont away as Tron and Yori escape. Yori gets them onto a Solar Sailer, a device that will transport them to the central computer. Tron fends off some of Sark’s guys with video game noise kicks, and the Solar Sailer arrives to take them away.
Sark chases after them, but the pair manage to outrun his very cool-looking ship. MCP threatens to destroy Sark for his failure, but he promises that he’ll be able to get them. On the ship, Tron looks down at the side to see Flynn hanging on. Turns out that he was one of the guards that attacked the two. Tron pulls him up onto the ship, and Flynn reveals that he is, in fact, a user. He also reveals that Users aren’t exactly the gods that programs believe them to be.
Anyway, how’s Dumont doing?
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Ah.
Well, the Recognizers find Tron, Yori, and Flynn, and chase after them on the light beam the Solar Sailer is on. However, with his User powers, Flynn manages to get the Sailer onto a different beam, while pulses on the original beam destroy the Recognizers.
Doesn’t end up mattering much, though, as Sark finally catches up and intercepts the group. The Solar Sailer is destroyed, and Yori and Flynn are thrown in the brig with Dumont, who’s still alive! Can’t say quite as much for Tron, apparently. But, again, I can only assume that Ton is still alive. We’ll see, though. Sark denies Flynn’s identity as a User for some reason (I mean, MCP told you who he was, but OK), and he sentences them all to death. Outside the ship, of course, is Tron, who’s hiding and waiting for the right time to strike. And that is when we finally see him.
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Glorious. Absolutely goddamn glorious. MCP is taking the remaining programs that believe in Users, Dumont included, and incorporating them into his mass. Meanwhile, Sark has found Tron, and the two are fighting with a classic game of Ultimate Frisbee. Tron nearly defeats Sark entirely, but MCP revives him, and gives him the power to take out Tron. He grows gigantic, and it looks genuinely really convincing.
Flynn prepares to take out MCP once and for all, and kisses Yori just beforehand, which is weird as shit. He jumps into the program, and controls it just long enough for Tron to throw his disc at it and land the finishing blow. And with that, MCP is ended, and the threat of take over is gone! The I/O towers light up, and the Video Warriors have won! Don’t ask me what that means, I study birds.
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And with ALL OF THAT DONE, Flynn gets the proof he needs from a print-out that, to be honest, I feel like he could’ve just typed up himself. It doesn’t look like that much. But, still, MCP is gone, Dillinger’s screwed, and Flynn now gets a cool-looking helicopter of his own, as the new CEO of ENCOM. And from there, he will become a deadbeat dad that abandons his kid to live in computers forever. Or something like that, it’s been a while since I’ve seen Tron Legacy.
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And that’s Tron, a goofy movie of its time, but one that’s a lot of fun all the same. And with some effects that, to be honest...I actually really liked! But more on that...IN THE REVIEW! See you there!
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ducktastic · 3 years
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2020 Gameological Awards
Over on the Gameological Discord, we have an annual tradition of writing up our games of the year not as a ranked list but rather as answers to a series of prompts. Here are my personal choices for the year that was 2020.
Favorite Game of the Year
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I didn’t know what to expect when I walked into Paradise Killer. I knew that I liked the vaporwave resort aesthetic from the game’s trailer and figured I was in for a Danganronpa-style murder mystery visual novel with an open-ended murder mystery at its core. Those assumptions were… half-right? The game definitely plays out like the exploration bits of Danganronpa set on the island from Myst but with far simpler puzzles. What I didn’t expect was to fall so deeply in love with the environment—its nooks and crannies, its millennia of lore, its brutalist overlap of idol worship, consumerism, and mass slaughter. It makes sense that the world of Paradise Killer is its strongest feature, since the cast of NPCs don’t really move around, leaving you alone with the world for the overwhelming majority of your experience as you bounce back and forth between digging around for clues and interrogating potential witnesses. And despite what the promo materials indicated, there IS a definitive solution to the crimes you’re brought in to investigate, the game just lets you make judgment based on whatever evidence you have at the time you’re ready to call it a day, so if you’re missing crucial evidence you might just make a compelling enough case for the wrong person and condemn them to eternal nonexistence. Am I happy with the truth at the end of the day? No, and neither is anybody else I’ve spoken to who completed the game, but we all were also completely enthralled the entire time and our dissatisfaction has less to do with the game and more to do with the ugly reality of humanity. I’ve always been of the mindset that “spoilers” are absolute garbage and that a story should be just as good whether you know the twist or not and any story that relies on surprising the audience with an unexpected reveal is not actually that good a story, but Paradise Killer is a game about piecing together your own version of events so I feel that it’s vital to the gameplay experience that people go in knowing as little as possible and gush all about it afterwards. Just trust me, if the game looks even remotely intriguing to you, go for it. I’ve had just as much fun talking about the game after I finished it with friends just getting started as I did actually solving its mysteries myself.
Best Single Player Game
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I honestly missed out on the buzz for In Other Waters at launch, so I’m happy I had friends online talking it up as Black Friday sales were coming along. The minimal aesthetic of his underwater exploration game allows the focus to shift more naturally to the game’s stellar writing as a lone scientist goes off in search of her mentor and the secrets they were hiding on an alien world. It only took a few hours for me to become completely absorbed in this narrative and keep pushing forward into increasingly dangerous waters. In Other Waters might just be the best sci-fi story I experienced all year and I’d highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys sci-fi novels, regardless of their experience with video games.
Best Multiplayer Game
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Look, we all know this year sucked. 2020 will absolutely be chronicled in history books as a fascinating and deeply depressing time in modern history where we all stayed inside by ourselves and missed our friends and family. It was lonely and it was bleak. Which is why it made my heart glow so much more warmly every time I got a letter from an honest-to-goodness real-life friend in Animal Crossing New Horizons. Knowing that they were playing the same game I was and hearing about their experiences and sending each other wacky hats or furniture, it lightened the days and made us feel that little bit more connected. Sure, when the game first launched we would actually take the time to visit one another’s islands, hang out, chat in real-time, and exchange gifts, but we all eventually got busy with Zoom calls, sourdough starters, and watching Birds of Prey twenty-two times. Still, sending letters was enough. It was and still is a touching little way to show that we’re here for one another, if not at the exact same time.
Favorite Ongoing Game
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Zach Gage is one of my favorite game designers right now, and when I heard he was releasing a game called Good Sudoku I was sold sight unseen. The game as released was… fine. It’s sudoku and it’s pleasant, but it was also buggy and overheated my phone in a way I hadn’t seen since Ridiculous Fishing (also by Zach Gage) seven years ago. Thankfully, the most glaring bugs have been fixed and I can now enjoy popping in every day for some quick logic puzzle goodness. Daily ranked leaderboards keep me coming back again and again, the steady ramp of difficulty in the arcade and eternal modes means I can always chase the next dopamine rush of solving increasingly complex puzzles. It’s not a traditional “ongoing” game the way, say, Fortnite and Destiny are, but I’m happy to come back every day for sudoku goodness.
Didn't Click For Me
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With Fortnite progressively losing me over the course of 2020, finalizing with my wholesale “never again” stance after Epic boss Tim Sweeney compared Fortnite demanding more money from Apple to the American Civil Rights movement (no, absolutely not), I dipped my toe into a number of new “battle pass”-style online arena types of games, and while Genshin Impact eventually got its hooks into me, Spellbreak absolutely did not. With graphics straight out of The Dragon Prince and the promise of a wide variety of magic combat skills to make your character your own, the game seemed awfully tempting, but my first few experiences were aimless and joyless, with no moment of clarity to make me understand why I should keep coming back. Maybe they’ll finesse the game some more in 2021, or a bunch of my friends will get hooked and lure me back, but for now I am a-okay deleting this waste of space on my Switch and PC.
"Oh Yeah, I Did Play That Didn't I?"
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I remember being really excited for Murder By Numbers. Ace Attorney-style crime scene investigation visual novel with Picross puzzles for the evidence, art by the creators of Hatoful Boyfriend, and music by the composer of Ace Attorney itself?! Sounds like a dream come true. But the pixel-hunt nature of the crime scene investigations was more frustrating than fun, the picross puzzles were not particularly great, and the game came out literally a week before the entire world went into lockdown which makes it feel more like seven years ago than just earlier this year. I remember being marginally charmed by the game once it was in my hands, but as soon as my mind shifted to long-term self care, Murder By Numbers went from hot topic to cold case.
Most Unexpected Joy
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I was looking forward to Fuser all year. As a dyed-in-the-wool DropMix stan, the prospect of a spiritual sequel to DropMix on all major digital platforms without any of the analogue components was tremendously exciting, and I knew I’d have a lot of fun making mixes by myself and posting them online for the world to hear. What I didn’t expect, however, was the online co-op mode to be such a blast! Up to four players take turns making 32 bars of mashups, starting with whatever the player before handed them and adding their own fingerprints on top. It sounds like it should just be a mess of cacophony, but every session I’ve played so far has been just the best dance party I’ve had all year, and everyone not currently in control of the decks (including an audience of spectators) can make special requests for what the DJ should spin and tap along with the beat to great super-sized emoji to show how much they’re enjoying the mix. Literally the only times my Apple Watch has ever warned me of my heightened heart rate have been the times I was positively bouncing in place rocking out to co-op freestyle play in Fuser.
Best Music
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Only one video game this year had tunes that were so bumpable they were upgraded to my general “2020 jams” playlist alongside Jeff Rosenstock, Run the Jewels, and Phoebe Bridgers, and that game was Paradise Killer. 70% lo-fi chill beats to study/interrogate demons to, 20% gothic atmospheric bangers, 10% high-energy pop jazz, this soundtrack was just an absolute joy to swim around in both in and out of gameplay.
Favorite Game Encounter
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It’s wild that in a landscape where games let me live out my wildest fantasies, the single moment that lit me up in a way that stood out to me more than any other was serving Neil the right drink in Coffee Talk. Over the course of the game, you serve a variety of hot drinks to humans, werewolves, vampires, orcs, and more, all while chatting with your customers and learning more about their lives and relationships. The most mysterious customer, though, is an alien life form who adopts the name Neil. They do not know what they want to drink and claim it doesn’t make a difference because they cannot taste it. Everybody else wants *something*. Neil is just ordering for the sake of fitting in and exploring the Earth experience. It’s only in the second playthrough that attentive baristas will figure out what to serve Neil, unlocking the “true” ending in the process. Seeing the typically stoic Neil actually emote when they tasted their special order drink? What an absolute treat that was.
Best Free DLC of the Year
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It’s still only a couple of days old at the time I’m writing this, but Marvel’s Avengers just added Kate Bishop, aka Hawkeye, and THANK GOODNESS. Almost every character in the game at launch just smashed the endless waves of robot baddies with their fists and that looks exhausting and uncomfortable. Hawkeye (the game calls her Kate Bishop, but come on, she’s been Hawkeye in the comics for over 14 years, let’s show her some respect) uses A SWORD. FINALLY! Aside from that, I’m just having a blast shooting arrows all over the place. She and Ms Marvel are the most likable characters in the game so far, so I hope they keep adding more of the Young Avengers and Champions to the game, and if the recently announced slate of Marvel movies and tv shows are any indication (with America Chavez, Cassie Lang, and Riri Williams all coming soon to the MCU), that seems to be what Marvel is pushing for across all media
Most Accessible Game
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Nintendo is, first and foremost, a toy company. They got their start in toys and cards long before video games was a thing, and they still do more tests to ensure their video game hardware is childproof than anybody else in the industry (remember how they made Switch cartridges “taste bad” so kids wouldn’t eat them?). This year, Nintendo got to rekindle some of their throwback, simplistic, toys-and-cards energy with Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics, a Switch collection of timeless family-friendly games like Chess, Mancala, and Backgammon, along with “toy” versions of sports like baseball, boxing, and tennis for a virtual parlor room of pleasant time-wasters. The games were all presented with charming li’l explainers from anthropomorphic board game figurines, and the ability to play quick sessions of Spider Solitaire on the touch screen while I binged The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix made Clubhouse Games one of my most-played titles of the year. Plus, local play during socially-distant friend hangs was an excellent way to make us feel like we were much closer than we were physically allowed to be as friends knocked each other’s block off in the “toy boxing” version of Rock’em Sock’em Robots.
"Waiting for Game-dot"
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I get that everyone loves Disco Elysium. I saw it on everyone’s year-end lists last year. I finally bought it with an Epic Games Store coupon this year. This year was a long enough slog of depressing post-apocalyptic drudgery, I didn’t want to explore a whole nother one in my leisure time. I’ll get to it… someday.
Game That Made Me Think
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Holovista was an iPhone game I played over the course of two or three days based on the recommendation of some trusted colleagues on Twitter and oh my goodness was I glad that I played it. What starts as a chill vaporwave photography game steadily progresses into an exploration of psychological trauma, relationships with friends and family, and the baggage we carry with us from our pasts. In this exceptionally hard year, I badly needed this story about spending time alone with your personal demons and finding your way back to the people who love and support you. Just like with Journey and Gone Home, I walked away from Holovista feeling a rekindled appreciation for the people in my life.
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'What It Feels Like...'
*links are in blue.
The title of this article is "What It Feels Like: Changing Your Sex, Having Narcolepsy & Being Attacked by an Alligator." It was published in Esquire Magazine on Jan 29, 2007. I stumbled upon it because I wanted to read Jimmy Kimmel's essay about being a narcoleptic.
I'm narcoleptic. I've mentioned it several times randomly here and there. It's not that big a deal. I don't really know any different and until my early 20s I had no clue other people didn't struggle like I did/do to stay awake, because everyone experiences being tired. Right? But narcolepsy is different than just being tired. Unfortunately Jimmy Kimmel's essay is a bit bland compared to many of the other essays collected here. Of course, narcolepsy is not a really exciting disorder filled with whizbangs and whistles, but this does now inspire me to write my own essay.
It's difficult to pick a favorite essay from this collection, but I am super impressed how fascinating I found several essays when I had no prior interest at all in the topic. Who would've guessed that the 'stealing home base' essay would be one if my favorite essays in this collection, even thoughI have zero interest in baseball.
Well, aside from Charlie Sheen in Major League.....
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The women in League Of Her Own.....
Amd Tim Robbins with Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham. Mmmmmm......
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Here are the essays in this article that I linked to, listing just the essaytitle and summary or just authors. SERIOUSLY these are super interesting AND will especially be great for writer research. The first essay alone has me going back to make changes to an progress fic where Loki is falling.
What It Feels Like...to Parachute from Space
By Joe Kittinger, 74, retired Air Force test pilot, who has held the world parachuting record, 102,800 feet, since 1960, as told to David Pfister.
What It Feels Like...to Change Your Sex
By Amanda Kent, 49, marketing manager, as told to Bryan Mealer
What It Feels Like...to Be a Dominatrix
By Storm, 24, TV producer, as told to Genevieve J. Roth
What It Feels Like...to See Music
By Sean Day, 41, college professor, as told to David Jacobson
What It Feels Like...to Steal Home
By Rod Carew, 57, baseball player, as told to Mike Sager
What It Feels Like...to Be in a NASCAR Crash
By Mike Harmon, 45, Race-car driver, as told to John Korpics
What It Feels Like...to Survive a Fire
By Phil Barr, 21, student, Bates College, as told to Daniel Torday
What It Feels Like...to Be in an Earthquake
What It Feels Like...to Have Size DDD Breasts
By Anonymous, 30, recruiter, as told to Aimee E. Bartol
What It Feels Like...to Have Narcolepsy
By Jimmy Kimmel, 35, host of Jimmy Kimmel Live, as told to Brendan Vaughan
What It Feels Like...to Be Paranoid
By Mark Twain, writer, adapted from the account of the 1868 San Francisco earthquake in Roughing It
What It Feels Like...to Be a Kleptomaniac
By Anonymous, as told to Kevin McDonnell
By Ian Chovil, 49, consultant, as told to Tyler Cabot
What It Feels Like...to Be Attacked by an Alligator
By Don Goodman, 59, director of the Kanapaha Botanical Gardens, Gainesville, Florida, as told to Jeff Klinkenberg
What It Feels Like...to Surf the Biggest Wave on Record
By Mike Parsons, 38, professional surfer, as told to Daniel Torday
What It Feels Like...to Be Trapped in a Submarine
By Allen C. Bryson, 85, machinist on the USS Squalus, which suffered valve failure on May 23, 1939, and sank off the coast of New Hampshire. Twenty-six men drowned immediately; thirty-three were trapped on the ocean floor for thirty-nine hours. As told to Ted Allen
@caffiend-queen @nildespirandum @redfoxwritesstuff @wolfsmom1 @emeraldrosequartz @latent-thoughts
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moonlightmurder · 4 years
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Favorite True Crime Books – part 1
The Peyton-Allan Files by Phil Stanford : Two teenagers, making out one night in a car on the edge of town ― slaughtered by person or persons unknown. No physical evidence to speak of. No known motive. For all the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office knows, there’s a psychotic killer roaming the hills west of town. Until they arrest someone for the murders of Larry Peyton and Beverly Allan, no one will rest easy. The Peyton-Allan Files is the story of the savage double-murder that changed life forever in the deceptively peaceful town of Portland, Oregon. A true-life murder mystery, guaranteed to keep you turning pages till the last guilty party has been brought to justice ― or maybe just framed. Because one way or another, this case has got to be solved.
House of Evil: The Indiana Torture Slaying by John Dean : In the heart of Indianapolis in the mid 1960’s, through a twist of fate and fortune, a pretty young girl came to live with a thirty-seven-year-old mother and her seven children. What began as a temporary childcare arrangement between Sylvia Likens’s parents and Gertrude Baniszewski turned into a crime that would haunt cops, prosecutors, and a community for decades to come…
When police found Sylvia’s emaciated body, with a chilling message carved into her flesh, they knew that she had suffered tremendously before her death. Soon they would learn how many others―including some of Baniszewski’s own children―participated in Sylvia’s murder, and just how much torture had been inflicted in one house of evil.
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote : On November 15, 1959, in the small town of Holcomb, Kansas, four members of the Clutter family were savagely murdered by blasts from a shotgun held a few inches from their faces. There was no apparent motive for the crime, and there were almost no clues.
As Truman Capote reconstructs the murder and the investigation that led to the capture, trial, and execution of the killers, he generates both mesmerizing suspense and astonishing empathy. In Cold Blood is a work that transcends its moment, yielding poignant insights into the nature of American violence.
Bind, Torture, Kill : The Inside Story of BTK by Roy Wenzl, Tim Potter, Hurst Lavigne and L. Kelly: For thirty-one years, a monster terrorized the residents of Wichita, Kansas. A bloodthirsty serial killer, self-named “BTK”—for “bind them, torture them, kill them”—he slaughtered men, women, and children alike, eluding the police for decades while bragging of his grisly exploits to the media. The nation was shocked when the fiend who was finally apprehended turned out to be Dennis Rader—a friendly neighbor … a devoted husband … a helpful Boy Scout dad … the respected president of his church.
Written by four award-winning crime reporters who covered the story for more than twenty years,Bind, Torture, Kill is the most intimate and complete account of the BTK nightmare told by the people who were there from the beginning. With newly released documents, evidence, and information—and with the full cooperation, for the very first time, of the Wichita Police Department’s BTK Task Force—the authors have put all the pieces of the grisly puzzle into place, thanks to their unparalleled access to the families of the killer and his victims.
The Road to Jonestown: Jim Jones and Peoples Temple by Jeff Guinn: In the 1950s, a young Indianapolis minister named Jim Jones preached a curious blend of the gospel and Marxism. His congregation was racially mixed, and he was a leader in the early civil rights movement. Eventually, Jones moved his church, Peoples Temple, to northern California, where he got involved in electoral politics and became a prominent Bay Area leader. But underneath the surface lurked a terrible darkness.
In this riveting narrative, Jeff Guinn examines Jones’s life, from his early days as an idealistic minister to a secret life of extramarital affairs, drug use, and fraudulent faith healing, before the fateful decision to move almost a thousand of his followers to a settlement in the jungles of Guyana in South America. Guinn provides stunning new details of the events leading to the fatal day in November, 1978 when more than nine hundred people died—including almost three hundred infants and children—after being ordered to swallow a cyanide-laced drink.
Guinn examined thousands of pages of FBI files on the case, including material released during the course of his research. He traveled to Jones’s Indiana hometown, where he spoke to people never previously interviewed, and uncovered fresh information from Jonestown survivors. He even visited the Jonestown site with the same pilot who flew there the day that Congressman Leo Ryan was murdered on Jones’s orders. The Road to Jonestown is “the most complete picture to date of this tragic saga, and of the man who engineered it…The result is a disturbing portrait of evil—and a compassionate memorial to those taken in by Jones’s malign charisma”
Nothing Is Strange with You: The Life and Crimes of Gordon Stewart Northcott by James Jeffrey Paul: A young man kidnaps his own nephew and makes him his servant and sex slave. He abducts young boys, has his way with them, and, if they know too much, kills them. He forces his nephew to participate in his crimes and to consign these little victims, sometimes still living, to their graves.
His father is afraid of his own son. His son mocks and abuses him, falsely accuses him of incest and child abuseand still he supports his son.
His mother loves her boy and will do anything to help himeven commit murder.
The Gordon Stewart Northcott casea part of which is fictionalized in the major new Clint Eastwood film CHANGELING, starring Angelina Jolieis still, eight decades later, one of the most nightmarish in American criminal annals. This booknearly two decades in the research and writingtells the whole story for the first time.
Fred & Rose: The Full Story of Fred and Rose West and the Gloucester House of Horrors by Howard Sounes: During their long relationship, the Wests murdered a series of young women, burying the remains of nine victims under their home at 25 Cromwell Street, Gloucester, including those of their daughter. What was left of Fred West’s eight-year-old stepdaughter was dug up from under the Wests’ previous Gloucester home; his first wife and nanny were buried in open country. Most victims had been decapitated and dismembered, their remains showing signs of sexual torture. These twelve are just the ones police found when the Wests were arrested in 1994. There may be more whose bones have not been located . . .
Howard Sounes broke the first major story about the Wests as a journalist, and covered the murder trial of Rosemary West, before writing Fred & Rose, the definitive account of this infamous case. Beginning with Fred’s and Rose’s bizarre childhoods, Sounes charts their lives and crimes in forensic detail, creating a fascinating and truly frightening account of a marriage soaked in blood.
The Blood of Emmett Till by Timothy B. Tyson: In 1955, white men in the Mississippi Delta lynched a fourteen-year-old from Chicago named Emmett Till. His murder was part of a wave of white terrorism in the wake of the 1954 Supreme Court decision that declared public school segregation unconstitutional. Only weeks later, Rosa Parks thought about young Emmett as she refused to move to the back of a city bus in Montgomery, Alabama. Five years later, Black students who called themselves “the Emmett Till generation” launched sit-in campaigns that turned the struggle for civil rights into a mass movement. Till’s lynching became the most notorious hate crime in American history.
But what actually happened to Emmett Till—not the icon of injustice, but the flesh-and-blood boy? Part detective story, part political history, The Blood of Emmett Till “unfolds like a movie” (The Atlanta Journal-Constitution), drawing on a wealth of new evidence, including a shocking admission of Till’s innocence from the woman in whose name he was killed. “Jolting and powerful” (The Washington Post), the book “provides fresh insight into the way race has informed and deformed our democratic institutions” (Diane McWhorter, Pulitzer Prize–winning author of Carry Me Home) and “calls us to the cause of justice today” (Rev. Dr. William J. Barber, II, president of the North Carolina NAACP).
In Broad Daylight by Harry N. MacLean: Ken Rex McElroy terrorized the residents of several counties in northwestern Missouri for a score of years. He raped young girls and brutalized them after they went to live with him or even married him; he shot at least two men; he stole cattle and hogs, and burned down the houses of some who interfered with his criminal activities. Thanks to the expert efforts of his lawyer and the pro-defendant bias of state laws, he served no more than a few days in jail, the author shows. In 1981, sentenced for the shooting of a popular grocer and free on bail, he was killed by the men of Skidmore, the center of his felonies; they closed ranks against all attempts to identify those who had pulled the triggers. Written by a first-time author, this is an engrossing, credible examination of the way vigilante action can take over when the law appears to be powerless. BOMC and QPBC alternates.
Killer Clown by Terry Sullivan: He was a model citizen. A hospital volunteer. And one of the most sadistic serial killers of all time. But few people could see the cruel monster beneath the colorful clown makeup that John Gacy wore to entertain children in his Chicago suburb. Few could imagine what lay buried beneath his house of horrors–until a teenaged boy disappeared before Christmas in 1978, leading prosecutor Terry Sullivan on the greatest manhunt of his career.
Reconstructing the investigation–from records of violence in Gacy’s past, to the gruesome discovery of 29 corpses of abused boys in Gacy’s crawlspace and four others found in the nearby river–Sullivan’s shocking eyewitness account takes you where few true crime books ever go: inside the heart of a serial murder investigation and trial.
Inside Alcatraz: My Time on the Rock by Jim Quillen: Jim Quillen, AZ586 – a runaway, problem child and petty thief – was jailed several times before his twentieth birthday. In August 1942, after escaping from San Quentin, he was arrested on the run and sentenced to forty-five years in prison, and later transferred to Alcatraz.
This is the true story of life inside America’s most notorious prison – from terrifying times in solitary confinement to daily encounters with ‘the Birdman’, and what really happened during the desperate and deadly 1946 escape attempt.
Go Down Together: The True, Untold Story of Bonnie and Clyde by Jeff Guinn: Forget everything you think you know about Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker. Previous books and films, including the brilliant 1967 movie starring Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway, have emphasized the supposed glamour of America’s most notorious criminal couple, thus contributing to ongoing mythology. The real story is completely different — and far more fascinating.
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coolsatellite · 4 years
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Hi! Love your writing!!! How would the Creeps react to meeting again a S/O that they knew before becoming creepypastas?? Thank you ♡♡
Hiii!!! Thank you so much!
Meeting their S/O from before becoming a creepypasta:
JEFF:
He won’t recognize them at first
His head is too far up his ass not in the right space to be seeing someone he once had strong feelings for
Once it clicks that this is the person he truly thought he would marry one day, he’ll either kill them or become so invested in their life to the point where he controls who comes in contact with them at all times
The only reason why he’d feel the need to kill them is because he doesn’t know how to handle his feelings towards them
In the moment, his thought process is basically “They’re making me feel things I don’t want to feel, if I get rid of them then everything will go back to normal”
BEN DROWNED:
Has absolutely no idea what to do
Does he want to reach out and let them know he’s still here? Or would he rather be done with that part of his life and just move on?
He thinks that if he finds out more about their life now, it’ll help him reach a decision
So, he watches from a distance while he has this mental battle
Ends up procrastinating and is in a constant cycle of saying that he’ll decide what to do yet continuing to do absolutely nothing about it
He’s not lazy, he just doesn’t want to make the wrong choice
MASKY:
If they knew him while the filming of Marble Hornets was happening, he’d feel so so guilty
Because that means they were probably friends, or at least acquainted with, the rest of the cast/crew
Who are now gone thanks to him
He’s going to want to apologize for dropping out of their life with no explanation and will probably contact them and ask to talk
As much as he’d want to keep in contact, he’ll let them decide what to do going forward after he tells them as much of the truth as he can
HOODY:
He’ll be more angry than he already was
Not at the S/O, just at the fact that he’s become who he is because of Tim and if it hadn’t been for him, he would probably still be with them and living a happy life
He thinks very hard about what to do next
He doesn’t want to ruin their life like his was, but even if that did happen, at least they’d have him to help keep them safe
In the end he’s keep his distance with the occasional creepy letter written to them or seemingly random gifts to clue them in on who has been watching them
TICCI TOBY:
He’s going to be acting a lot stranger than usual for a while
He tries not to think about his life before becoming a pasta, so when he’s hit in the face with someone who played an important role in his life it leaves him feeling…distraught
Questions whether who he saw was real or not so he’ll track them down and feel surprised when he sees that they’re carrying on with a normal life
It’s not that he expected anyone to cease to exist when he left, it’s just weird to see them look so content
Were all the feelings he remembered just made up in his head? Did this person ever even know who he was?
EYELESS JACK:
The demonic part of Jack will want to make his presence known immediately and attempt to drag the S/O back to wherever it is that he’s staying at the time because, as far as he’s concerned, they’re still his
But the more calm side will keep this from happening 
(as much as he can)
Depending on what they think happened to him, Jack will randomly message them one night and claim to have gotten their number from a mutual friend (who conveniently was put in the hospital after a serious, but not fatal, head injury)
He was going to leave them alone because clearly they had moved on but after being awake for nearly five days without any sleep, he got a little impulsive 
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oh-shit-a-baby · 5 years
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BLACK FRIDAY THOUGHTS PART TWO
A complete compilation of my thoughts throughout the musicals second half,,, this bois going to be real long bc I have a lot of thoughts lol
Now without @drawinglinesinarbitraryplaces :(
Yep dumbledore can still sing
Omg his voice
This song is going to make me cry aaaaa
Becky: you don’t look at all the same as I remember
Me: yeah no shit dumbledore grew a beard
Jesus,,,,, theyre just going to go for it right there,,,,,, ookay
Wtaf is this movie they’re watching
HOLY SHIT HER VOICE IS /PRETTY/ HER RANGE IS HUGE!!!
Idk if this is an unpopular opinion bc no one has an opinion yet but Becky and toms song is the cutest one ever and a bop and I love it
Jesus they payed for a balcony and they’re going to fucking use it aren’t they
WELCOME TO PEIP HQ IM SO DOWN FOR THAT
OH THERE ARE MANY DIMENSIONS????? U GONNA EXPLAIN THAT MR GENERAL MACNAMARA????
The black and white isn’t that what lexs sister was on about
Wiggly is the king u wot m8
President kurt knows nothing about anything and that’s a mood
So if the next movie isn’t about ‘13 years ago’ imma freak
U WANNA SEND ME INTO THE FUCKIN TWILIGHT ZONE AND HAVE DINNER WITH THE DEVIL??????!?!!
NO!!! FUCK THAT!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!!
^^^president kurt quotes
In short, mr president, we are trying to stop the birth
*dramatic piano*
Of a god.
*dRAMATIC PIANO*
It’s good score tho 10/10
Sherman young
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Nuff said
After today’s great battle???
Faith in the one true god!! All hail wiggly!!!
My new religion lol
LET LAKESIDE MALL BE A NEW JERUSALEM!!!!
*cue joey and Robert just screaming wiggly for like 5 mins straight*
NO THEY FOUND LEX
OH YEAH FUCKIN KILL THEM!!!
Who????????
FUCK YEAH LINDA
CULT??? NO! ITS A NEW EXCITING RELIGION THAT I STARTED!!!!
Yeah Gerald
She pronounces Cinnabon as see-nah-bohn what’s up with that lol
I NEED A WIGGLY DOLL...... IDEALLY FOUR OF THEM!!!
IVE MET GOD. HE HAD NOTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT YOU.
*cue people dying and their mics stopping working*
Holy fuck they all wanna kill Hannah now (lexs sister gets a name now apparently)
LAUREN I LOVE YOU AS A VILLAIN
I would kneel before villain Lauren any day
I will deestroy everything, and then I will deestroy everything, and then I will deestroy everything and then I will oh shit it’s Gerald.
While I don’t want you to think for yourselves I do want you to understand what I mean when I say my evil shit
I’m sorry that choreo is a yike
ETHAN DARLING COME BACK I MISS YOU <<<333333
IM CRYING NOW
He’s in the black and white now we’ll that sounds like shit
NOT ETHAN
Hannah is the unsung hero of this musical so far
*said in wiggly voice* well, webby (Hannah’s spider imaginary friend who I think is gonna be the deus ex machina of this thing) is a stupid bitch!
Rotten little banana. I’m going to peel you. I’m going to split you in two. I’m going to eat you Hannah. I’m going to eat you right now. *all said in dramatic wiggly voice*
Aaand their mics broke again
We don’t get tricked! We’re grown ups!
And Becky and Tom are immediately evil the second they see the wiggly bc of course they are
Jesus beckys the villain???????
Welcome to the musical where everyone gets a villain song AND a hero song??????
Her voice is still beautiful
*Prancing around* DO YOU WANT SOME CANDYYYYY??????
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She’s still wearing ethans hat my heart is going to go oh my god
And he just,,,,, leaves Becky to die?????
President Kurt in a space suit oh my god
And America is great again is playing in the background
MACNAMARA SAID ‘GODSPEED’ AND IS THAT A CATCHPHRASE I SENSE THERE
Yeah no president kurt can’t do foreign policy
His name is like howie or something but imma call him president kurt just like Tom was dumbledore for like the first half of this mess
Oh fuck joeys character is here and he’s gonna FUCK PREZ KURT UP
He’s eating an apple that means he’s a asshole
Holy fuck joeys character is like the ultimate capitalist
And also terrifying holy shit
NO MACNAMARA DONT GO IN THERE
Joeys character: Do you think that in the Netherlands they’d care about some toy??? Nah!!! They’re too busy with their free vacations and FREE healthcare!!
(When I refer to joeys character I mean the evil one he just doesn’t have a name yet so idk what to call him)
And joey can still sing I love him
His voice is so good and this whole villain is giving me spies are forever flashbacks
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I have absolutely no fuckin clue what’s going on rn
Holy fuck joeys voice is so beautiful and his range is killing me
I take back what I said earlier this song is the best one bc joey
Holy fuck someone just hit like a high d and I have no clue who it was bc the video quality is not the greatest
JESUS THATS TERRIFYING
THE FUCK YOU MEAN DONT BE FRIGHTENED THATS MY SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON
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LOOK AT THIS FUCKER JESUS CHRIST
Wiggly is so scary because he speaks like a child and those are scary
MACNAMARA EX MACHINA
Mac: BEGONE
Prez kurt: SORRY JOHN I FUCKED IT UP
THATS THE HOOK FROM NOT YOUR SEED ISNT IT HOLY SHIT
Joeys voice and acting is gonna kill me
Yeah made in America is the shit
MAC NO U CANT DIE U DIE IN TGWDLM
Also the black and white is a dumb as shit name for an alternate reality
Prez kurt: MERRY CHRISTMAS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!
*wiggly voice* Uh-oh mr prezzy-wez. It seems you’ve misplaced your bomby-womb.
Well shits about to go down
I’m calling it the bomb bombed the White House
Oop no they’ve only gone and lost Moscow
Well fuck here comes ww3 I guess
And prez kurt is definitely insane in the brain
ITS THE HOOK AGAIN THE ‘ALIENS INVADING MINDS’ BIT OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE A MUSICAL GENIUS
Jesus Sherman is a weird fuck and lex is kinda clever I guess it’s a shame we haven’t seen her for most of the musical
Lex: I THREW EM IN THE FUCKIN TRASH
LEX BABY NO DONT DIE
Lex: Is this what I live for? To be choked in a toy store?
Lexs beautiful song is this musicals version of not your seed but depression
And her voice is /pretty/
MAC?????????????
WHAT??????????????
OH MY GOD HE IS AUTHORISING HER TO USE HIS FIREARM YES QUEEN
I’m sorry lex and Hannah can do what
Jeffs voice kills me him and joey need a duet and that would be the end of me
What did lex just do in so confused
MAC DID THE SALUTE IMMA CRY YALL
And we’re back with Tom
Oh fuck lex is gonna shoot tom
Hold up Tom names his son Tim
Wiggly is playing mind tricks now yikes
Lex: KIDS DONT WANT THAT PEICE OF SHIT!!!
Tom: wat
Lex: THEYRE ALL INTO FORTNITE DUDE!!!!!
So the doll can only fuck with adults not kids???
Jesus Christ this is depressing
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U wot lex
Lex: YOURE LIKE 40!!!!! YOU PROBABLY THINK YOURE LIFE IS OVER!!!!
Holy fuck this shit is deep
Wait lex still doesn’t know about Ethan oh my god
And Dylan gets another hero song holy fuck just give Robert a song already everyone else has one
At the same time though this is S a d
I’m not crying you’re crying
YES DUMBLEDORE U HIT THAT HIGH NOTE
Tom: in fact you’re real fuckin ugly
Me: yeah no shit
Lex: FUCK YEAH!!!! Should i move these boxes first?
*cue very clever scene change*
Yeah Gerald no one wants to talk to u
Oh my god Linda leave Hannah and ethans hat alone my heart is breaking for Hannah
Linda: is this some kind of a jooooke?????
They’re gonna set one of their dolls on fire ok ok ok this is fine
More villain songs ookay
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If someone could tell me what the fuck is going on in this scene I’d be very impressed
Evil yoga
YES LAUREN U QUEEN
HOLY FUCK IS THAT CHARLOTTE??????
OH MY GOD ITS JAIME IN THE CHARLOTTE COSTUME IT IS CHARLOTTE HOLY SHIT
ITS CHARLOTTE AND THE HOMELESS DUDE HOLY SHIT
The choreo is...... interesting
Cue Robert not-Corey and Lauren being the only good dancers and getting special choreo
FUCK YEAH BECKY WITH THE GUN
LINDA NO
Ookay so everyone’s on fire this is fine
Emma and Paul ex machina
SOMEBODY NUKED MOSCOW!
paul is family third wheeling
YOU KNOW, SHE HAS THIS KOOKY RECLUSIVE BIOLOGY PROFESSOR
*audience fucking looses their shit*
WHO LIVES ON THE EDGE OF TOWN
Paul is having an existential crisi because he sHOULD HAVE WORN A WATCH
Someone’s gonna fall of that staircase by the end of this performance
HOLY FUCK ITS THE HOT CHOCOLATE KID
IT IS THE HOT CHOCOLATE KID OH NY GODDDDD
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LOOK AT HIM
It’s the what if tomorrow comes bit!!!!!!!
Okay again this choreo is interesting but the vocals are all S t u n n i n g
They’re literally counting down until the end of the show imma loose my shit that’s the least subtle they’ve been during the entire show
Hang on hang on hang on hang on haaaaang on right there
Did lex just never find out that her boyfriend died we were deprived of a heart wrenching moment when she found out about Ethan
Like jeez I cried and I barely knew him she was dating the guy and just... didn’t ask about him????
ITS THE HOOK AGAIN
That’s it!!!!! Those were my thoughts the first time I watched this through!!!!!!!
Scream at me in the notes with any questions and I’ll try answer them :)
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