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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

#bnha 292 #best jeanist #todoroki touya #dabi #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #hadou nejire #toogata mirio #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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magicstormfrostfire · 2 years

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1, 7, 24!

1) When did you get into art?

This is actually a difficult question because I can't give a specific timeframe; I've been into art since before I could read and write so maybe since I was 5 or 6? I've ALWAYS been drawing, and making picture books before I could even write sentences! I loved cartoons as a kid and had difficulties communicating verbally with others, so drawing was always a great outlet for me as a kid emotionally! (I cant tell you how much the game changed when i learned to write and fucking SPELL)

24) Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)

Oh yeah, lmaoo. Back when i first got into Sonic (around 12 or 13 years old) i would make Sonic X Amy Rose screenshots into my first sonic OC Diamond the Hedgehog. I eventually shared it on Neopets forums. Diamond was a light blue hedgehog woman with huge tits and a purple, diamond covered dress that was like Amy's red one. Dream body, amirite?

Sadly, this was on my mom's old Microsoft computer so all those hilarious files are long gone. Id share them if I could!

7) Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

I'm actually making a half-assed comic with my OCs! Something ive been waiting to do for AGES but never got around to it until recently. I haven't shared it because it's OC stuff and irrelevant to post publicly, but I've been having fun doing it!

#magicstormasks #asks #oc stuff

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thechildofstark · 3 years

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Webbchester AU Ideas <3

Now, I know that everyone on this site fucking loves Destiel (been there, done that, went to hell, got the t-shirt) and so do I a whole damn lot.

That being said, we have been fucking sleeping on the Dean/Lee potential. Y’all know Lee? From 15x7 Last Call? Owns the Karaoke bar with the bisexual lighting? Hunted with Dean when they were younger? Yeah. That Lee.

So. We have two flavours available to us. Let’s start with the more exotic:

OPTION 1: Full Canon Divergent AU From Season One. From what we know Lee and Dean ran together during Stanford Era before John broke them up :( but surely it can’t have been that long? Maybe they’re still in touch? Dean wouldn’t go to Lee directly instead of Sam at the start of the series, but they could very well be within shouting distance of each other. I’m not sure what would be funnier, Lee and Dean breaking into Sam’s apartment from day one and all doing off on an adventure together, or Dean and Sam doing it a la canon and then meeting Lee half way through. Either way, Sam’s reaction would be priceless. Not to mention the possibilities for playing around with canon plot points when there’s a whole extra person in the mix.

OPTION 2: Diverges from Season Fifteen, Happy Ending Fix-It, You Know The Drill. Basically the same as Last Call. They meet, they talk, they sing. Drinks are drunk, asses are slapped, arseholes are defenestrated, and a good time was had by all. The twist? Lee isn’t the bad guy! That’s it. Dean gets to see that leaving the life is actually possible and start’s working at Swayze’s. They wrap up the Main Plot without to much hassle. They sing the Dukes of Hazard theme. They kiss. The End.

That’s pretty much it. We can have a canon arcing complete rewrite that could impact reality as we know it or a cute single ep fix-it. So, pretty much every ship/plot point in SPN, amirite?

Honestly I just want to do a lil further exploration with what is (I think?) Dean’s only (basically) canon (human) boyfriend - without it ending in tears.

#please somebody write this #webbchester #thats their ship name because i say so #lee webb #dean winchester #spn #supernatural #fic idea #canon divergence #spn 15x7 #15x7 last call

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chris-evans-indian-fanfic · 4 years

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Lifetimes

Chapter 2

Description - Detective Okoye finds out more about King Steven's past as you are subjected to further torture

Warning - Horror, mutilation, torture, Dark!Steve

PROCEED ONLY IF YOU ARE 18+!

Chapter 1

My Main Masterlist

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

Detective Okoye sipped coffee as she examined the crime scene report on her desk. It had been more than 2 months since you had been the victim of the heinous crime. She narrowed her eyes as she read the report for probably the millionth time. The case was littered with problems.

First of all, they couldn't find your dead body. They had searched across the city and the state and had turned up empty handed.

Secondly, the forensic team had secured two different sets of fingerprints from the crime scene atop the cliff. One set belonged to you, the other, your killer. However, their database couldn't match the fingerprints with any US citizen and known terrorists. Even the CIA, FBI and even the Interpol turned up empty-handed.

The team also found paper-thin scraps of ash scattered across the cliff and the road. Their scientists could not make sense of that either.

Lastly, they had absolutely no leads to chase down your attacker. The security cameras hadn't caught anything. There were no witnesses, except the one statement from Chris Evans, who continuously rambled on about the deep scar on the attacker's face.

"You need to stop reading that file Oko. You are not a part of the investigation anymore," Detective Natasha's voice broke through Okoye's thoughts.

"I can't let it go Nat," Okoye responded, rubbing her forehead, "I keep thinking that I have missed something."

Nat closed the file and sat on the desk, "Look, I know it's frustrating to break your perfect record. But sometimes there are cases which you just can't solve."

Okoye sighed, "10 years Nat. I have solved every single case in the last decade. No matter if it was a simple house robbery or taking down a drug cartel, I have always cracked all of my cases. And now this?" Okoye slammed down her coffee mug in disgust, "I have been assigned desk duty because I couldn't solve this case."

"You know it's temporary till things dial down a bit," Nat tried to reason, "When the girlfriend of an international superstar goes missing, his fans and the media tend to erupt," Nat placed a hand on her shoulder, "You will be back soon Oko."

"Evans hasn't received a call for ransom?" Okoye inquired.

Nat shook her head, "I don't think she is alive Oko."

🌑

You opened your eyes, the whispers in the dark playing on a loop in your head, "What does he want?" , "Ya no puedo soportar esto" , "Who is she?" , "Quiero ir a casa" , "I make my most humble apology" ,"Nobis auxilium Dominus!" You only recognized English, the rest of the few languages alien to your ears. Besides you, you could see the terrified figures of ancient women who resembled your features.

You tried to speak to them, but no sound escaped your orifice. You were frozen, but were yet somehow still moving. The edge of your skin, along with others, shed like thin layers of ash, only to be replenished by the wind.

It's this what death felt like? Were you a ghost?

The voices in your head suddenly went silent as everyone heard the despicable cackle of the man who commanded all of you.

🌑

It was dusk when Okoye walked towards the National History museum with her 5-year-old daughter in tow. She waved when she saw Carol with her son.

"Thank you so much for coming along!" Carol grinned as they hugged, "David was dying to look at the new exhibit."

Okoye brushed her off, "Please there's no need to thank me. Aurelia is just as much of a history enthusiast as David."

They joined the long line of people, mostly parents with their kids, waiting for their turn to enter. "I had no idea this exhibit was so popular," Okoye admitted as she took in the crowd.

"Yeah. Ever since the discovery of the Aveninfin kingdom, suddenly everyone is a history nerd," Carol commented, "Still, I think it's cool that they found the remnants of an entire kingdom underneath the Texan desert."

As they entered the museum, both the kids ran off towards the children's section of the exhibit where the tour guide was handing out pamphlets.

Okoye sucked in a deep breath, "Umm Carol, I wanted to talk about the bake sale this Saturday-"

"Yes Maria and I are going to bake lemon squares, chocolate cupcakes and vanilla-strawberry cookie spirals," Carol interrupted her, "I was thinking Maria will present the lemon squares from your end? We will say you are currently caught up with work and handed over your goodies to us," she knowingly winked at Okoye.

Her eyes filled with tears at Carol's kind words, "I am sorry," Okoye barely whispered.

"Oko, you have nothing to apologise for. It's difficult being a single mother and an awesome ass-kicking detective at the same time. Don't be harsh on yourself," Carol tried to console her by rubbing her back, "We love Aurelia. And we love you! It also helps that you gang up with me to prank my wife," Carol beamed.

They strolled in the museum, always keeping an eye on the kids as their activities continued. After about an hour or so, the kids dispersed. "Mommy," Aurelia called out, "did you see the handprint painting?"

"No baby I didn't," Okoye replied. Her daughter led her by taking two of Okoye's fingers in her small hands. "You should see this mommy! You are a defective. This is also like defective work."

Okoye couldn't help but laugh at her daughter's innocence, "That's right baby, I am a defective."

She picked her up when they reached the fingerprint portion of the exhibit. Aurelia pointed out to one set of fingerprints, "See? Just like you explained," she clapped her hands once for impact.

Okoye chuckled, kissing her daughter's forehead. She looked at the various sets of fingerprints. Most of them were unnamed, except three. One belonged to the King's right hand man called Buchanan, the other to the Queen named Luna and finally, the King himself, Steven Grant.

Okoye stared at Steve's fingerprints. There was something eerily familiar about them. She stared harder, trying to identify them when suddenly, realisation hit her like an iceberg.

Could it be? No it was impossible. But the intricate pattern of the fingerprints undoubtedly matched the ones in her file!

She immediately unlocked her phone and compared the two images. They were identical! Okoye dialled Natashas's number, informing her of the development. "I will be there in 20 minutes," she replied.

🌑

Detectives Okoye and Natasha sat across the table from Dr Bruce Banner, the archeologist behind the discovery of the Aveninfin kingdom. It had been three days since Okoye's lead, and now, it seemed they were back to square one.

It seemed that nobody on Bruce's staff had used the fingerprints to commit the crime. Everybody had airtight alibis, even the doctor himself.

"I don't know what I can tell you ladies anymore-" Bruce started saying. But Natasha swiftly interrupted him, "Detectives," she spat with authority.

He held up his hands in resignation, "Sorry. Detectives. I have nothing new to share. You guys have been to my house, my lab and my office. You have interrogated my staff and colleagues. I really don't know how can-," he was interrupted again.

"A heinous crime was committed, and," Okoye pointed a finger at him, "fingerprints of your King Steven were found at the crime scene. So you really expect us to believe that he came back from the dead just to murder Chris Evans' girlfriend?"

"Legends share that King Steven never died," Bruce half-smiled at his pathetic joke. "Look, you guys are the detectives. Isn't it your job to," he gestured in a random direction, "detect this?"

"What was the need to even obtain fingerprints from an archeological site?" Okoye inquired.

Bruce looked squarely at her, "Fingerprints help us study human evolution Detective. We were lucky to have found their fingerprints painted on the wall and imprinted in the mudcakes."

"Mudcakes?" Nat cocked an eyebrow.

Bruce took a deep breath, "The people of Aveninfin believed that the dead would find a way back in case the living ever needed them. However, the dead spirits would need to identify their graves and their loved ones. So after the death of any citizen, they would press the deceased palms onto a patch of damp mud, which would then solidify, leaving behind an imprint."

Okoye bit her cheek, "But you just said that King Steven isn't believed to be dead."

Bruce shook his head, "I said legends claimed that. Folk-lore, fairy tales, ancient myth. There's no way to actually verify this."

Natasha checked her watch, "Well, we still have about an hour or so left for this interrogation to end. So why don't you indulge us Doctor?" she requested in her sweet venomous voice.

Rubbing his eyes, Bruce took a deep breath. "Okay," he said, "How much do you remember about the history of Aveninfin from school?"

Both the women looked at each other. "Wasn't it a kingdom ruined by greed and ambition?" Okoye guessed.

Bruce nodded in response, "The king, Steven Grant, wanted to conquer the entire world just like Alexander had once set out to. In the 17th century, when the kingdom of Aveninfin was at its peak, King Steven married a Sorceress by the name of Luna. It is believed that Queen Luna gained her powers from the moon. A bit Luna-tic, amirite?" Bruce's another lame attempt at a joke was met with stony silence.

He cleared his throat, "So anyways, Queen Luna saw how the kingdom and it's citizens suffered in poverty while the King, his aid Buchanan and the corrupt traders and officers enjoyed the riches. She knew of his ambition to conquer the world and so, she killed him by poisoning him. But, here is where things get interesting."

Bruce shifted in his seat, the excitement in his voice mirroring in his body language, "The Queen didn't account for Buchanan's loyalty. You see, in some iterations of the legend, it is said that the King and Buchanan were lovers, in others, they were mentioned as close comrades. Buchanan was said to be raised by witches, and so, when he realised that the King had been poisoned, he went and dug open his grave to revive the King."

Natasha looked disinterested and Okoye managed to keep a passive expression as Bruce rambled on. "Buchanan apparently gave half of his soul to the King, so that King Steven can live. But this only made matters worse. Now both, the King and Buchanan, existed in the world of the living, and also in the realm of the dead. This place… this-this sweet nexus of two dimensions cursed the beings with unimaginable power, and pain."

Okoye gave Natasha half a smile as the latter yawned, "Let me guess the next part Doctor," Natasha offered, "The King laid waste to the entire kingdom and buried it within the ground where the sun doesn't shine?"

Deflated, Bruce sank back in his chair, "Yeah."

🌑

You were passing through buildings, cars, houses, trees and God knows what. Suddenly, you came to a stop. You were surprised when you saw King Steve, or "Conqueror of the Paranormal, Leader of the Occult Study and Summoner of Death, His Majesty King Steven Grant" as he liked to call himself, converse with another man.

This stranger's hair was tied in a small ponytail. His physique was just as massive and looked just as strong as Steve's.

His magic command wore off just a bit as he was speaking with the stranger. You were able to move your face and a little portion of your limbs. You gasped in your head as you finally took in the condition of the women around you. Some women were missing their palms, feet, or even entire hands and legs. A few had their entire torsos cut so that you could only see their spine connecting their head with their hips. While the face of one woman was absent of her eyeballs, the other one's neck had been chopped off in a gruesome manner.

Steve's power over you started weaning further as he became more agitated in his conversation. Your eyesight became a bit clearer, the shades of black and grey slowly shifting into focus.

You had to find a way out of this prison. By now, you understood that all the women in King Steven's harem had been murdered and kept captive. This could not be death. You didn't want it to be.

Looking downwards at your feet, you noticed the faint wisps of ash detaching from your body and collecting on the ground below. It could easily be confused as dust in a small quantity, but when shed in a larger amount, it could form a trail of sorts...

🌑

A FEW DAYS later saw Okoye sitting at her desk with her head in her hands. "Oko," Natasha approached her gently.

"You know, if I had any hair on my head I would be pulling them out right now," Okoye joked miserably.

"I told you before Oko. Some cases are too twisted to be solved. Do you know how many cases in the US go unsolved? Probably-"

"Wait," Okoye interrupted Natasha, "What did you just say?"

Natasha looked a bit surprised, "Ummm… Do you know how many cases go unsolved?"

"That's it!" exclaimed Okoye. She rushed towards the Records room of the precinct, with Natasha hot on her heels. "What's 'it'?" she asked.

"We need to check whether these fingerprints have come up in the last 6 months in the unsolvable crimes committed," Okoye explained, "Think about it Nat. Dr Banner told us that they retrieved the prints 6 months ago right? So there has to be-"

Natasha sighed, "Well it is a lead. But…" "But what?" Okoye responded.

"You are grasping at straws Oko. Don't you think it would have been in the news if a murder went unsolved heart because the prints couldn't be traced? Look I…," Natasha hesitated, "I know you are desperate. Frustrated even. But this has started to affect your health and work and I can't just stand by and be a silent spectator."

"Then don't be one. Join me and help me in solving this," Okoye urged.

Natasha just shook her head, "If… if you don't give up this case Okoye then-"

"Then what Natasha?" Okoye almost spat her name.

"I will have to report you," Natasha's threat sounded like a plea.

Okoye squared her shoulders, "After everything we have gone through?"

Natasha looked at her with a painful expression, "Yes. Especially after everything we have gone through. I just cannot let you destroy your career behind one case. You weren't even supposed to interrogate Dr Banner! This… this stops now."

Both the women stared at one another, refusing to back down. Finally, Natasha muttered something under her breath and left the Records room as Okoye kept glaring at her back.

36 HOURS LATER, Okoye found a nondescript manila envelope on her desk, buried under her pile of unprocessed files with a note, "Hope this helps! - Peter P." She casually angled her body in a way which hid the contents of the envelope as she opened it. Her eyes widened at the information displayed in front of her.

King Steven's fingerprints were found at crime scenes that dated back all the way to 1915, almost around the time when the police started using science and technology to obtain and analyse fingerprints.

As she flipped through the pages, she noted the years of the crimes committed. 1915, 1933, 1954, 1974, 1997 and lastly, 2020. A quick mental calculation made her realise that the average number of years between these murders were approximately between 20-22.

But nothing prepared her for what she saw next.

The photographs of all the female victims closely resembled your face. Sure, there was a difference in the colour of their skin, languages and backgrounds. But their facial features were identical.

Moreover, there was a striking similarity in the way the crime was committed. The women were kidnapped and then disappeared without a trace.

Okoye sat back in her chair as realisation struck her like a thunderbolt. Could it be? Was there really an undead entity hunting these women? And for what?

🌑

You were moving again. Every part of you was frozen, except the tips of your thumb and forefinger, thanks to King Steve still seething in anger. Rubbing them together furiously, you tried to communicate with others through your mind, urging them to do the same.

It continued for a while when suddenly, you felt yourself freeze completely.

That disdainful cackle was back in your head, "Hehehehe. Honey wants to shed her skin? HER SKIN!!! Wants to be rescued. RESCUED! Don't like me? ME! Doesn't want skin? SKIN? SKIN! Then I will take it. TAKE IT!"

You felt his shadow push into you with force as your now solid forms collided with the ground. His blade, now shining brighter than the sun, cut into your sides as you silently screamed in agony.

Pain seared through you as he started peeling the skin from your entire body, only to reveal the ghastly organs beneath. Muscle, bones, veins and all were now on display. Nobody could hear your blood-curdling screams except the women surrounding you, their howls of horror joining yours as once again, you were reminded about who was in charge.

"Need skin," Steve muttered as he kept cutting into you, "Have hands, legs, face, torso, everything. EVERYTHING! Need skin to put her back together. To bring her back. She will breathe. She will be alive. ALIVE!"

__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__

Permanent tag: @donutloverxo

Taglist for this series: @buckysteveloki-me @cheeseburgersstuff @ninefuckingoneone @keenmarvellover (I tagged you guys because you had requested to be tagged if I ever write a part 2. If you guys don't want to be tagged in this, just let me know. No hard feelings 😊)

Taglist open! Just comment, send an ask or message!

#okoye #Natasha Romanoff #okoye x natasha #dark!marvel #Marvel au #dark!mcu #dark!avengers #dark!steve rogers #dark!bucky barnes #horror #Marvel horror au

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lambourngb · 4 years

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Behind the Scenes- Last Year’s Wishes

@zuluoscarecho - ““Oh man you have been busy! I’m glad the writing Has been going well for you. I would love to hear about your process when you get a chance if you’re keen. Like whether you plotted it out, whether the whole fic came to you (more or less) or how hard you had to work to fill in the gaps to get you where you wanted to go, whether you’re a “push through” kinda writer and just sit down and do it or whether you scribble stuff down all day and then type it up at the end or whatever. Many questions I have”

Oh boy, these are great questions- my approach to writing has changed from how I started “Last Years Wishes” and how I’m finishing it. First of all, I was out of practice. The last long story I tackled and finished on my own was in 2002-2003 on ff.net (for a moment I thought it was 2012-2013 but I just looked it up and still can’t believe it was that long ago, hahah) Then I wrote a follow up with a co-writer that ended …poorly due to stuff outside of writing with that person. I hit a very bad depressive cycle and didn’t write again until 2019 and RNM.

The idea came after I watched some true crime story in August- I think it was “Murder Comes to Town” - which is all small town population less than 10,000 gets hit with a salacious murder. I immediately thought about Michael, and first I thought he could be blamed for Max’s disappearance, but then I remembered how visible Noah was to the town, and I was off plotting. Carina said on twitter- oh lord what a loaded sentence that is - that we don’t know when Alex was at the Airstream or what he had to say- which fine, but that made me think about juggling the time a bit, letting the police show up first, then Alex go to the wild pony, THEN MAX, and yeah boom! Conflict! Alex knows Michael wants to be with someone else, but he just gave him an alibi. They are stuck! Fuck Alex’s whole life, amirite? That part of the idea came all at once.

I wrote the first draft of the scene for Tumblr - August 8th - started it before work when I like to write- kept writing once I got to work (bad employee!) posted it and as the comments and likes rolled in, I kept writing. First day was like 6,000 words.

Then I didn’t really touch it for 2 weeks. I kept adding stuff here and there, using WIP Wednesday to motivate me to share a bit. In one month though, the story was at 10,000 words by September 12. Mainly because I just wrote as it came to me, and let my brain just fuck off on Tumblr or reading other fics. I wasn’t really serious about it. Six weeks later it was 15,000 words by the end of October. This time I thought the reason I didn’t have more progress on it was because I didn’t have the practice of finishing a story- so I attempted at the very beginning of October to do Whumptober. I managed to write 2 stories - truth (to the people we love) and If You Regret (What You Know).

So two stories finished, I went back to Last Year’s Wishes and used everyone working on NaNo for November to buckled down. I wrote out a rough outline of future scenes. I made a point to write, if I could, every day something. I do try and write in a linear fashion, but if I couldn’t move forward in the story, I would go back to previous stuff to add in descriptions, put in some introspection- sometimes a whole scene needed to be inserted, then I could push forward again.

The story grew from 15,000 words on Nov 1 to 28,000 words by Dec 1. Nearly double in size. And the more I put my ass in the chair to write, the easier it became to focus. It will never be easy to focus for me- I really like scrolling on my phone, chatting with other people, etc. But I had to build a muscle in my brain from the ground up with no real belief that I would succeed because I thought depression and anti-depressants had broken my brain. But Malex kept me interested.

By the time December rolled around, I made a goal of finishing it by New Years, but then my outline kept growing. I kept thinking about the underlying plot, I kept thinking about how big the communication divide was- I couldn’t just say “they talked, they fucked HEA!”. As December came to a close, I realized I had written 32,000 words in the month of December but I was only half done with the story. So while I was disappointed I hadn’t hit my goal of being done, I was very pleased at the progress. The story was around 60,000 words by the end of the year.

January- I increased my goal of 1,000 words a day, to 2,000 words a day. I really believed I could finish it in one sustained push. I wrote nearly 40,000 words in the month of January- bringing it to just under 99,000 words but…it still wasn’t done. My assistant quit. I got sick. Progress stuttered. But I felt like the end was in site- so I contacted betas, two of which came through- tasyfa and Maura - and kept writing. I thought it was just 20,000 words to go, and since I just wrote 40,000 in one month, I could easily write 20,000 2-1/2 weeks, right????

February- beta comments were great, I started releasing it publically in chapters, and then the feedback started rolling in- and instead of motivating me forward, I started obsessing over the next thing people would read- I wanted it to be perfect. I started inserting new scenes, fleshing out other areas- driving my betas crazy I think- because I kept poking at it. I wrote those 20,000 words easily as the story was getting posted, but they were all in the existing frame of the plot. New stuff … that didn’t really start happening until March.

Another thing that I realized was my outline needed to be supportive but flexible. Originally (which remind me once it’s complete) but I had some different ideas for how the last few chapters were going to go, and I had to let those narratives go because it no longer felt natural to me with the narrative I had established.

Even now I have 5 scenes outlined for chapter 22, but as I started writing it this morning, I am leaning toward blending it into 4 or 3 scenes. Oh- my scene should have a standalone point to accomplish, and if that point isn’t clear or can be accomplished in another way, then it gets moved or blended. I don’t really jot things down on paper- but I have two documents- the writing doc, and the story doc. Writing doc has the outline, I always write with my outline heading just below my cursor so I can keep looking down at my goals and construct the scene from there. The story doc is where I cut and paste it into the whole thing. Sometimes as I scroll to find where I am in the doc, I will add something or edit something, before putting in the next bit at the end.

This is what chapter 18-19-20 looked like on Feb 9th in my outline : [1.. After their pathetic attempts to decorate Alex‘s leg was starting to bother him. Michael took one look at him and advised that he remove the prosthetic. Alex protested mildly about being seen that way. Michael reassured him that Isabell not only knew but didn’t care.

1a. - Isobel and Kyle arrive- she found him in the grocery store attempting to leave with the last baked ham - Mom working a double, Rosa was going to midnight mass with Arturo and Liz- 1b. Isabell and Michael have a quiet talk that Alex overhears while he changes and removes his leg for the night-. He discusses talking to Maria and reframing some of what Alex had said. 1c- walks past them to the kitchen with Kyle]

[2. Isobel and Kyle show up to the cabin for Christmas Eve- Isobel sleeps over. Michael offers the spare, Kyle takes the couch, Alex objects to Michael sleeping in the airstream. ]

[ 3. Alex wakes up to an alert on the day after Christmas Day that gets an alert about someone at the cave. Finds Michael staring at Jesse and not Max.. Why did you think you were like him- that night that Noah died. What did that mean. It means he was ruthless about his agenda and so am I. I’ll do anything to protect you. Michael is silent and closed off, but follows him back to the cabin - knowledge from the ship piece ]

ONE MONTH LATER on March 10 the notes looked like this based on how the story looked: [2. Isobel and Kyle stay in the face of the weather- Isobel sleeps over. Michael offers the spare, Kyle takes the Airstream ,Michael volunteers himself to sleep with Alex - Michael quietly explains he isn’t going to have a conversation with anyone afterward, Christmas gift exchange- Michael gives him the handprint- remnant from the console and his mother, sharing the intensity - they have sex ]

[ 3. Alex wakes up to intense sorrow by Michael via the handprint n the day after Christmas Day that gets an alert about someone at the cave. Finds Michael staring at Jesse and not Max.. Why did you think you were like him- that night that Noah died. What did that mean. They discuss Alex’s family and the future- do you think you would ever forgive them? I’ve been mad at Max, but if he came back today I would take him back, What about Flint and what he did ? Do you think he’s sorry? knowledge from the ship piece- soul mates, forever tied together ]

Err— I’m long winded, so did I answer your questions? Feel free to ask more!!

#fake dating your ex because of the feds #wip whine #the writing process #behind the scenes with my disaster brain

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of-another-broken-heart · 4 years

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Today was approximately 2 seconds long. And now it’s tomorrow and that’s going to be 1 second long.

I managed in my time-warp fatigue haze to uh... idk pull some time witch bullshit. I checked my status with the IRS about the stimulus check (expecting to find I didn’t qualify and was, as usual, getting nothing). Surprise! I qualify! I don’t have a date for when to expect the payment to go through, but hey! I can keep several life-critical services running with that money, for several months! Hooray!

I wanted to catch up on my Animal Crossing game. It’s now April 25th, but my game is still on April 20th because there’s just so much shit I’m trying to get done and not lose time and get shafted with another awful villager I don’t like because the game tells you NOTHING about how to actually get villagers (except for the part where it explicitly lets you know you can go BUY amiibos and use those! The pay-to-win element was LOUD AND FUCKIN CLEAR BUDDY) so I’ve been trying to get to mystery islands, only to find no one, only to learn (??) that you have to have a housing plot already placed and ready - because there’s nothing like gambling with the chances of even FINDING a villager in the first place, much less one you like, on one of those mystery island trips amirite?? amirite???? because the last time I did it I had an empty plot and I managed to go through 6 islands and only one (1) of them had a potential villager, and it was Amelia the eagle and you know what??? I should have recruited her! I didn’t like her that much, but after I ran into her, I found the house had been gobbled up by some other random villager I’ve never ever run into! Not on an island, not on a friend’s island -- NEVER. And when I looked them up, I was not impressed! I have no nostalgia with any of these characters, so the name I saw on the empty house I was trying to fill was suddenly Tabby and I looked Tabby up and was met with the visage of a constipated pig dressed as a cat. And I hate it! And I hate that now I have to wait days or weeks for this unpleasant compost heap of features to decide they might want to leave. And I hate that, after Tabby sunk her awful pig claws into that house, I got a camper in my camp site - and it’s Blaire and I think she’s cute! And I get to the point I can invite her to move! But she refuses! I go and “sell” land (aka pay 10,000 bells, because that’s what “selling” is, right Tom Fucking Nook, you scumbag) to make ANOTHER empty house because Tabby fucking ROBBED ME of the one I had, and does Blaire change her mind? NOPE. Now I have an empty house and like -2 minutes to visit 4857239845792089 islands to find the ONE (1) ugly ass villager the game’s RNG will deign to cross my path, and dejectedly invite them to my island in a desperate attempt to have even an infinitesimal flicker of control over which pixel creature moves into my mistake house!

I can’t even get away from being FUCKING CURSED in goddamn Animal Crossing.

I’m also pretty fucking sure I have The Virus. I haven’t left the house, but my mom has, and my sister works in a grocery store, so my personal efforts never mattered anyway. I’ve had fatigue that claims more than half of every day. Recurring fevers - which I was brushing off for a long while as just... the basement being cold still, and unheated, so it’s surely just the Same Usual Temperature Discrepancy.

This write-up, and a critterpedia spreadsheet, are probably the longest undertakings I’ve managed to do without dissociating to the point that I just give up. And actually, it took me 2-3 days to do the critterpedia spreadsheet on account of multiple dissociative episodes and 12+ hour fatigue “naps” so I guess that doesn’t count, does it.

#personal

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Ali & Carly

Ali: . . . – – – . . . Carly: ? Carly: nodded on your phone Ali: OG 🍑📞 Ali: nah save me Carly: it's pretty lemme just grab a 💄 really quick Carly: what's up baby? Ali: you are and I need distracting Ali: got band practice and I really have to Ali: missed the last two so she's dead moody Carly: go solo ill play a tambourine for you Carly: until you get famous anyway Ali: we'll get you those noise cancelling headphones they give to rockstars kids Ali: then you just gotta close your eyes n shine Carly: aw Carly: you're a 🍑 Carly: but before then I know how to sweeten up rockstars Carly: lots of jd is 🔑 yea so ill swipe ronans & its a party Ali: know that'll go down a treat Ali: almost as good as the ego stroke of calling them rockstars Carly: y you asked me its a not so hidden talent of mine Carly: strokes where needed Ali: 🎨 Ali: alright monet Ali: I'll try not to make it completely boring Carly: i have to take 5 to finish up here or he'll be dead moody Carly: so he's all you have to be more fun than Carly: & whats more boring than a horny lad when ur not feeling it Ali: easy Ali: I remember being that bored Ali: less memory more reliving but shh Ali: all fun and games yeah ✌ Carly: yea Carly: he gets it over quick tho some go & go without getting u anywhere Carly: ha Carly: ive got a home to go to sometimes boy Ali: he's very considerate like that Carly: i wont share it w him too big of a word for rn Carly: wheres this practice @ Ali: 'course not Ali: all he needs to hear is biggest and best Ali: memory serves Ali: in one of the other's garage Ali: so punk rock Ali: I'll come meet you Carly: long as he can call me a slut & I make the right noises it dont matter what I say Carly: thats every lad on here Carly: k well he's done so direct me Carly: u dont wanna meet me outside here Ali: if that's your jam, go off Ali: you mean you don't trust me not to 👊 your mans 😏 Ali: I started walking, call me a pessimist, Ronan 🤷 Carly: yea u kno for a good time call any of these caravans Carly: the old lady w the gnomes is a dark horse like Carly: i don't want u to see me looking this way ty ronan 💘 Carly: so rough about everything Carly: him & u ha Ali: she's living my dream, I remember her Ali: the pink trailer, like Ali: shoulda been going to see her if not you Ali: 🤡 Ali: you alright? Ali: you need a sec or Ali: idk, anything else Carly: her cats are living my dream Carly: lying in the sun all day, getting fat Carly: being loved whenever they ask Carly: i need a drink but im taking all of his its k Ali: duh Ali: only had it slightly better in ancient Egypt, like Ali: forever goals Ali: we'll drink it on the way Ali: need to see where to put their fingers Ali: not code for gay shit but like Ali: also Carly: theres lots they can have some as promised Carly: he owed me for all the 💊 Ali: you're sweet Carly: we can get your gf ☕ to dump it in thats the adult thing to do Carly: trying to make her happy not more mad Ali: she's 17 Ali: she just fronts a good game Ali: suppose one of us should Ali: #badgirlfriend Carly: ur the best wife tho Carly: ive missed u Ali: 😚 Ali: comments like that are why I've deffo missed you more Carly: aw Carly: comments like urs r why ill make today really fun for u Ali: 💚 Ali: we can make anything a party yeah Carly: yea Carly: but u gotta help me carry these drinks to cos i think my wrist was broken from all the coaxing that boy needs when hes been on it Ali: ugh, the struggle is so real Ali: though if you use that as an ice breaker they're all gonna look at you blankly Ali: fucking lesbian priviledge amirite Carly: i bet at least one of them's hurt their wrist trying to get a girl off Carly: half who go to our school r so uptight you need to check for sticks Carly: catholic guilt be like Ali: 😂 real Ali: but you gotta be on my side Ali: already outnumbered Ali: team bi for the day okay Carly: so i can talk about masturbating with my grandma's jesus cross or i cant Ali: you can Ali: that's a story whoevers company Ali: 'cept grandma, obvs Carly: punk rock enough? Carly: if theyre all as scary as ur lesbian im shotgunning more beers Carly: bag of recycling before we even get to the garage Ali: when she cares about the 🌍 Ali: 😍 Ali: they ain't, if we're being real Carly: dont want the earth to die Carly: its so pretty Carly: & fun Carly: k i wont have every can Carly: before we get there Ali: 👼🌟🌈🍓🐰👸 Ali: you Ali: and I'm literally just 'round the corner hold on Ali: not dragging my feet 'cos of you babe Carly: ur too sweet Carly: are you the singer & the guitarist or do they make you just do one cos youre too big of a 🌟 Ali: got it in one babe, I'm relegated to guitar #2 most the time Ali: at least you can own the stage more when you ain't so Carly: ill tell them you need to be 1st guitar & lead singer you're too talented for it to go to waste Carly: its sad Carly: but its cute that youre in a band together Ali: you wanna be backup baby? Carly: yea but i cant 😢😢 Ali: you can when it's just us though Ali: you're too pure for rock n roll anyway Ali: their brand of Carly: how you said that makes me think i need to drink more Ali: it's a good thing about you Ali: just saying though, my voice will be fucked by the end of this Carly: ill get you some 🍯 baby Carly: you can be 👼 again in no time Carly: church ready Ali: only if you coming with Ali: 😈 Carly: only if we do some more sinning first Carly: make it worth the walk Ali: naturally Ali: how we do Carly: k Carly: are all the band dating each other or just you two Ali: 😏 more and more apparent how straight you ain't tbh Ali: currently off again, I think Ali: they've all dated each other though, every which way you can combo it Carly: i have met a lesbian before ur rescued me @ that party Carly: been hit on by lots Carly: i kno they like to date in circles & all kinds of other shapes Ali: I bet Carly: aw don't be jealous Carly: i didnt like it Carly: ur my fave Ali: I'm not Ali: am glad I ain't giving off those predatory vibes though Ali: good to know, like Carly: you give off the best vibes Ali: 👼 energy, baby Carly: 🌟💙 Ali: let's hit 'em with it Carly: yea Ali: after she can drive us to a decent shindig 🤞 Carly: me & a car full of gays Carly: ronan will be in a mood ha Ali: always a bonus Ali: also always in a mood Ali: they really would get on if she could get over the whole man hate vibe Carly: ill bring him to the next rehearsal Carly: he thinks hes got what it takes Ali: 😏 Ali: I'll put my money on Mar Ali: poor boy Carly: steals my 🎸 every time he comes over Carly: i cant be impressed that you can play 2 chords baby boy I'm sorry Ali: 😩💦 Ali: even as relegated #2 I can do more than that Ali: promise Carly: me too & im only groupie #1 Carly: he still tries to teach me tho Carly: so boring Ali: 🙄 Ali: what a dickhead Ali: he just wants to be behind you to 'position' your hands, boys love that shit don't they Ali: I know how to play pool too so get off Carly: we should play my da taught me Carly: make some money & have some fun Ali: I'm down Carly: k Carly: cos i need to buy more 💊s he really did eat them all Carly: 😢😢 Ali: Babe Ali: I know a reliable lad Ali: invite him Ali: make it a party Carly: yea me & him been up since i saw you last how long ago was that? forever it feels Carly: be more fun away from site Ali: damn Ali: how the other half live Ali: I feel like I haven't had any fun since I last saw you Ali: get enough to take the edge of your comedown if nothing else or that'll be rough Carly: i wanted to invite u my baby but u kno how he gets Carly: hates that weve met Carly: ill make you feel good now promise Carly: hes had too much of my time Ali: worried that Imma tell you horror stories like you don't know him? Ali: backatcha 💚 Ali: swear Carly: yea he thinks my head's empty Carly: just a body like Carly: not that weve done school for years together or anything Carly: i kno i dont always go but boy come on Ali: you're miles ahead of him Ali: he only acts like he reckons that 'cos he don't want you coming to your senses and binning him off proper, like Carly: ur lil bro writes & reads better Carly: but hes a smart lil cutie Carly: what am i gonna do move the caravan in the middle of the night? no wheels is there Carly: stuck as fwb til he gets married his wife finds out & comes for me Ali: yeah he likes you too Ali: always chatting on when you coming 'round again so you know Ali: better hang some more, for his sake Ali: I know you got locks Carly: aw i love him Carly: always wanted a lil bro but my rents dont fuck no more so that ain't happening Carly: unless my dad knocks up someone younger Carly: u kno id lock myself out & end up round there Carly: ha Ali: lil blue pills don't fail us now Ali: ick Ali: should go to casa flamenco Ali: don't think she'd steal your stash Ali: oldies always have their own, the real good shit too Carly: that what ur calling it Carly: ill steal hers Ali: exactly Ali: 😍 #babe Ali: ronan who Carly: i do go older but not sure i could handle peeling back the wrinkles Ali: weak 😉 Carly: you seduce her for me, thats love Carly: & you wanna be under her anyway Ali: 'scuse you Ali: I'm happily married Carly: me too Carly: pimping me out to the older generation wasnt in the vows were it Ali: could've been Ali: you know how creative I am Carly: yea i do love that about you Ali: I 👀 you Ali: [runs up and takes some of the shit] Carly: [unnecessarily long hug moment because always] Ali: ['it does feel like forever'] Carly: [just rambling on about how much she's missed her & like all the compliments for how she looks/what she's wearing etc cos again always] Ali: [lbr she'd go all out for rehersals even so it would be a look, Ali lowkey fixing Carly up whilst checking 'cos was concerned but not gonna make it a Thing tm] Carly: [save her Ali she looks like shit rn & your gf don't need to be seeing her like that] Ali: [finishing by kissing her nose 'cos that is a thing] Carly: [😳 but really happy obvs & another hug cos they really have missed each other so] Ali: [walking and talking baby] Carly: [& letting Ali catch up with all the drinks Carly's had] Ali: [giving her the lowdown on the other bitches who are clearly not as scary as kstew] Carly: [you'd think she's not listening because 1. state of her & 2. how distracting Ali is in her lewk but she is] Ali: [is like soz it's boring but I'll make it fun] Carly: [she's like its not you're just pretty & also I'm saving you & making it fun] Ali: ['not about to beg but please do'] Carly: ['knew I should've locked that down in the vows' cos being flirty with it] Ali: ['too late now babe, 'less you make me wanna renew'] Carly: [is just like yeah okay will do, soz kstew but we know its true so] Ali: [turning up to your function, imagine kstews face oop] Carly: [Carly handing the booze out cos she's a babe while kstew talks shit on her by pulling Ali aside like we said] Carly: u want me to go? Ali: [Ali tryna explain but also being kinda over this mood like why can't she be here, u lowkey know why but you know] Ali: no Ali: don't Ali: I'll sort it Carly: k Carly: [Carly just drinking a little bit too hard cos the vibe is wrong & her anxiety don't need this thank you ladies] Ali: [just walking away and being like okay come on let's start 'cos can't argue if you're playing] Carly: [pissing about on some spare instruments while they're setting up cos awks] Ali: I've text the lad Ali: reckons 10 minutes 👍 Carly: 💙🌟 Carly: ty Ali: [ooh crimson and clover 'cos joan did it and it'd be a sexy moment so blatantly directed at carly] Carly: [Carly literally 😍 harder than her gf is, oops] Carly: [& so many compliments as soon as the song is over before kstew can get a word in, god bless] Ali: [gently/not being a patronizing dick with it showing her dance moves and stuff like getting her involved without being like you have to perform now lol] Carly: [k stew fuming like now the WARM UP is done we should play OUR songs we all know the type like excuse you everyone is having fun especially my sweet baby angel] Ali: [being like oh but I just learnt this song it's got a good bass bit we should do that, overruled lol] Carly: [has to go with it cos no argument she can make that won't sound petty as hell and not trying to look like that bitch in front of the squad] Ali: [doing electric feel for the gay sexiness] Carly: [Carly even more into it cos a song she knows cos lets say she don't know the glory of our cat song just because so its such a moment okay bye] Carly: [Marlene calling a 🚬 break immediately after cos fuming & that can also be when Drew comes] Ali: [as if you weren't fuming enough there's how a man here 😍 at your woman, also giving them droogs] Carly: [meanwhile Carly ain't noticed cos sharing a 🚬 with the prettiest & least intimidating lesbian perched on her lap like so cosy....way to kill Ali babe we know she's special but let her know please] Carly: [hops off to get her drugs but still a moment] Ali: [these other girls just stirring the pot rn lmao] Carly: [that girl being like you should come out with us & Carly's like yeah cos she's pure] Ali: you know this one's flirting with you too, yeah? Ali: 😏 Carly: ha Carly: shes nice Ali: yeah Ali: pretty cute Carly: u kno the dealer wants to fuck you tho yea Carly: hes pretty Ali: obvs Ali: his hairs a bit naff but yeah Carly: ur gf is gonna drag him out by it Carly: let me slip him my number first ty Ali: lol 🙄 Ali: better you have his, no Ali: 💊 Ali: idk why she's the fun police today Carly: k good idea Carly: [goes to get his deets] Carly: she's so mad Carly: u gotta love me more when shes not around Ali: i ain't done nothing Carly: shes jealous of me like i am of her Carly: two girls one 💙 Carly: [lowkey flirting with Drew before he gets thrown out] Ali: hmm Ali: maybe you can duel Ali: [helping herself 'cos they clearly got enough to go around 'cos Drew's easy lol] Carly: 😢😢 Carly: you want me to be killed Ali: don't be silly Ali: not very gentlemanly of her, she'd never Ali: for someone so punk she loves following rules you know Carly: y u like her or y ur bored? Ali: [casually loling at her phone like what you think] Carly: [a moment of eye contact soz kstew] Carly: y dont i kno this lad? Ali: idk Ali: he wasn't always that cocky Ali: maybe his pubes came in Carly: ha Carly: ill find out Carly: gotta b known as the school slag not the girl who pissed herself on the stage Ali: more catchy Ali: I get it Carly: u only remember our wedding day i kno but it tends to stick in everyone else's memories Carly: a day of bad vibes Ali: I remember you but not like that Carly: hope its not worse Carly: how you do Carly: [casually taking too many 💊 to deal with the bender she's been on with the gypsies, you know Drew will remember her like this] Ali: nah Ali: you were cute Ali: and nice when all these random english kids showed up Carly: cos you were cuter Carly: im always nice to the pretty ones Ali: 💘 Ali: s'a good line walsh, you get it off him n all Carly: 💔😢 Carly: i love you i dont need him feeding me those kind of lines Carly: we gotta crush some of these tho its gonna take forever to kick in Ali: only joking baby don't be sad Ali: [comes over and helps 'cos why not kstew already furious her band practice has descended into anarchy] Carly: [using a shoe she's wearing for once to crush pills casually but stops to put her head on Ali's shoulder cos is sad lowkey] Ali: [gives her top of the head kisses] Carly: [is smiling again & telling her how much she missed her again and all that good gay content while Marlene fumes in the distance] Ali: [whispers like sorry for the bad vibes and I am gonna fix this 'cos she knows it's been fucked but realistically don't know what she's doing about it yet 'cos where do we stand] Carly: [kisses her on the forehead cos that big brain always thinking & worrying & she know] Carly: u wanna 👃 or 👅? Ali: 👃 Carly: yea dont want a numb mouth Carly: no fun Ali: probably would help my throat but kinda 'bout that smokes and drinks a 40 a day vibe so Ali: soz to my nasal cavity in advance Carly: the 🍯 is coming as promised Carly: [puts enough powder in her hand for Ali to snort, how intimate excuse them like she could have used her own hand or any surface Carly but go off] Ali: you're sweet enough darling Ali: [soz kstew just gals being pals 'cos obvs returning the favour and 'holding her hair out the way' aka stroking it] Carly: [when you more about that intimacy than the drug you're trying to take] Carly: aw Ali: [moment being ruined by some kind of unignorable strop moment from marlene clearly so she has to go and have an argument brb] Carly: should i go now? Ali: wait for me Ali: please? Ali: outside if you like or whatever, I'm being selfish but Ali: I ain't staying either Carly: k Carly: [is outside quietly singing a little mash up of both gay covers while she waits, just little bits of lyrics she likes from each lol] Ali: [not tryna drag this out and clearly we can't let it get to let's break up point so] Carly: lets go have some real fun Ali: [when she comes out, resting her arms on her shoulders and spinning her 'round and 'round like let's go] Carly: [is loving life again bye bitches] Ali: ['we can do anything we wanna' means now but also like always] Carly: [is buzzing because her life is literally so stagnant already like what a welcome premise & hugs her cos that's what she wants to do, always gotta be touching] Ali: [and hand holding] Carly: [complimenting her AGAIN as they going along cos she's a really good singer tbf so] Ali: [chatting away 'bout the kinda music she wanna do and what the band is about and starting her own etc but also about how pretty Carly's voice is and how it's too precious for the stage anyway] Carly: [okay but after they've nerded out over music Carly be like 'wait for me' runs into a shop really quick & buys Ali some honey for real cos she that nerd & presents it to her really happily wrapped in her headscarf or something cos again nerd] Ali: [you know how buzzing and touched she'd be 'cos also that nerd, being like you're such an angel and imma get you something so special etc] Carly: [Carly like you gotta eat it tho & opens it right there like she gonna drip it into Ali's mouth if she don't how gaaaaaay, steals some with her finger too obvs cos cute but also accidentally sexy all the time] Ali: [winnie screeching in the distance] Carly: [gets a phone call from her mum & answers in this state cos no fucks given on either side & then turns to Ali like my turn to take you to a family bbq cos I think the contrast would be hilarious so we should but not now cos give them some alone time @ god] Ali: [is down 'cos she's not a snob unlike someone we know rosalin and she'd be lowkey about it 'cos any excuse to spend time] Carly: [ronan will 100% be there cos hilarious like you gotta fight him Ali tbh] Carly: [just rambling about how much she loves Ali rn though cos always] Carly: 💙🌟🐝👼🚀 Ali: [backatcha and dropping the charity shop plan] Carly: [is so down obvs like little kid levels of excited] Ali: [running thru the streets of dublin like babes] Carly: [god fucking bless] Ali: [charity shop crawl so wild like leave 'em be world] Carly: [like how pure that they think of cat lady Ro & kstew would never bitch] Ali: [probably making friends with all the nice old ladies in there/horrifying the old bitches tho too lol] Carly: [this is why Carly makes my heart hurt cos she'd wanna be friends but would probably horrify lol] Ali: [tbf they are high] Carly: [as per again let them live peeps its summer] Ali: [should steal something but like something really tiny and silly 'cos sinning and stealing from a charity shop is pretty bad in a cute way somehow lol] Carly: [but leaving shoes behind or something cos barefoot life so the universe is balanced] Ali: [and ali would buy stuff for 'em both but making sure carly knows this ain't THE gift 'cos wants to swag that lol] Carly: [okay but can they also come back to buy homewares for the caravan when she gets her own thanks bye] Ali: [absolutely, just window shopping rn how you do like 'when I have my own place' but saying we 'cos #married] Carly: [Ali can actually get one of the actual things when cos its still there, oh my heart]

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jlf23tumble · 6 years

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One Direction holiday gift guide

I feel like the only person who’s willingly seen more useless 1D merch than me is Niall (egads, all the “future Mrs. Tomlinson” shirts!!), so naturally, @fullonlarrie figures I’m the best person to create a holiday gift guide (my money’s on Niall, but he has a million dollars for his holiday budget, and if twitter is to be believed, he’s currently fucking his luxurious couch, so it’s up to me, jeepers, the pressure!!)

Lauren’s original request was for a fan-made 1D calendar, but alas, she’s SOL unless she goes official. The options:

Give me cash money, and I’ll create a calendar from my infamous “undefined” folder; I still plan to make myself an X Factor highlights calendar when the shitshow is over (Louis munching on cheese-bugh-ahs so he doesn’t have to talk to Simon and can listen to his boyfriend’s go-to karaoke song in peace; Louis selling me pens; Louis mentoring while dead on his feet; Louis smiling and judging; Louis glaring; Louis sporting hickeys; Louis sharing snacks with Ayda; Louis hanging out with his pal--and mine!--Dermot; Dermot in general; you get the gist).

Encourage fandom artists to create their own calendar (this would be remarkably easy for them to do, and there are so many great artists out there…use your powers, Luke, I mean, Lauren).

Give Simon Cowell cash money and buy an official 2019 1D calendar to fund his next tit job, hoping someone botches it.

Buy an individual calendar (I found some GREAT Zayn, Louis, and Liam options; Harry’s are hit or hugeeee miss, depending on vendor, and Niall’s are just too “Au Bon Pain” for me, so no links for you).

(Lauren also wants a One Direction beer koozie [cozy? koozy?], but these don’t yet exist outside of the D’s notorious pool party pad...that said, they’re remarkably easy to create, so throw a fiver at a merch blank place and make one! I’m probably gonna throw a fiver at a snowglobe creator so I can make “the hug” extra poignant in my bathroom.)

Okay! So with these individual requests out of the way, let me take you on a deeper dive under the cut with pictures and links. There are literally THOUSANDS of choices for mugs, t-shirts, wall art, phone cases, stickers, notecards, etc., so I highly recommend that you visit redbubble, etsy, or society6 and search for your faves (or make your own), I promise you, you won’t regret it! Instagram’s a great place for pins, my two faves being Miri and Milly. Amazon’s another great resource, but god, there’s a lot of random shit, most of it terrible/good and cheapppp, as only the best form of camp/kitsch can be. My recs under the cut are for things that I would gift my own personal IRL friends.

Let’s start with the individual boys, and I forced myself to limit each one to less than five, but you have my solemn oath that you can easily find at least a dozen wonderful items in your price and cheese range on the sites I mentioned above.

Niall:

This one feels obvious, but you can’t think Flicker and not think candles, amirite? Bonus: you can find one of these for each of the boys:

Similarly, you can find this set for each of the boys, but Niall Nails are the only ones I would ever buy anyone ever:

There are a million tragic lyrics on Flicker, but I think millypins captures this one nicely:

Do I really want to wake up to fetus Niall’s smug-ass outline lording it over me? Nope, but I’d probably stick him in our tacky useless front half-bathroom:

Zayn:

I could be gross and say something about him being a real snacc, but I prefer thinking of Zayn as the band’s cupcake, hence, if I threw a cupcake party, this is what you’d see on top (or maybe Harry…maybe ZARRY, I’d take it next level, yo):

Speaking of Zarry, I love everything in this artist’s shop, but especially this pillow:

Someday soon, I’m doing a “my fave Zayn shirts” zodiac post, and you can bet your ass this one’s gonna be on there. That said, it makes a pretty rad tattoo/sticker, too:

Not too many size options, but wow, these are something I’d actually wear and enjoy being sorta stealth about (until someone called my ass out in public):

What the WHAT is happening in the Amazon sports section? Compression cycling socks in a variety of sizes/styles, all with this iconic logo action:

Liam:

My car has really gone ~through it with me (skull gearshift knob, barefoot gas pedal, my burning desire to apply flames to the outside of it), but the Liam car chevron seems doable!

Not gonna lie, this is REALLY cute, but don’t let it limit you because the Liam jewelry that’s currently out there is amazing:

Fuck Jesus, what WOULD Liam do???

(I still contend that you can make your own iconic Liam Payne/Mona Lisa sweatpants for about $20, but there’s no link…send me some cash, say, $30, and I’ll make ‘em for you.)

Louis:

I promise you, this’ll be full of LAFFs, some “facts” on Louis, circa 2012:

Do you have a tiny dog? Do you have an appreciation for an iconic Louis shirt that you’d like to see on said dog? Here you go!

So many of Louis’s tattoos are art on their own…why not buy a print and stump your future house guests? These are two separate ones:

Speaking of house guests and parties, this is a sure-fire smash (and again, something that’s available for all the boys, but Louis’s version is especially pretty)…judge your own X Factor contest:

I can’t find my fave rbb/sbb travel mug options, but there are quite a few, so do sbb proud and pick your fave!

Harry:

I actually own this, yet I’ve never taken it out of its wrapper, it’s THAT iconic:

Who can keep all your useless work account login information secrets better than Harry Styles? Answer, no one except for Liam (tbh, the previous version of this book is what stores all mine):

I wish this existed in actual book form, but still, pretty damned cool, and you can print them out/frame them, if you’re really good:

“Hip pack,” it’s a fanny pack, a bum bag, and I love it!!

One Direction as a collective:

Oh, Jesus, okay, there is SO MUCH OUT THERE, and most of it is garbage, but it’s fun garbage, so here’s what I would give to a fellow fan, assuming they didn’t already own ALL of it.

These still exist, they still work, and don’t kid yourself, Niall brushes his very own teeth with one (according to my insider…the insider is my imagination):

Would I buy a larrie friend this low-key larrie beach towel? You bet your fucking ass I would:

Wow, people want a lot for the One Direction Monopoly game, but Monopoly is so fucking boring, so just watch this video instead.

I’m not gonna lie, this perfume is fucking VILE, but buy it for the Larry packaging…between us, I see you, sbb:

I absolutely need this on a t shirt to match my fake-o Joy Division shirt:

Look, the only thing holding my remote control together right now is this duct tape (currently, the panel with Zayn’s face), but I’ve seen a TON of proof that you can make cute shoes, wallets, etc., with it):

It’s easy to lump this in with all the other merch everywhere else on Amazon, etc., but I lmaoooooo because it’s so ~serious, like, I’m a goth but I’m also into normcore because it’s the only true goth at this point, so fuck your glitter version, this is my truth:

If you find others, send ‘em to me! You know I love this garbage!

#one direction #harry styles #louis tomlinson #zayn #zayn malik #niall horan #liam payne #1d #merch #christimas #christmas gift guide #holiday gift guide #gift guide

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tsgaustintexas · 5 years

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Due East x Rancho Pillow Mercado

Somehow, in this jampacked spring season, we caught up with Mollie Brown, Founder & Owner of Due East. We sat down with her between her most recent pop-up at the famed Rancho Pillow and an upcoming trip to Marrakesh - dream job, amirite?? Mollie is our go-to lady for when we want to add a little warmth to our space, her curated collection of textiles + home goods ethically sourced from Morocco are the best around. I’ve recently become the proud owner of two Due East poufs and I - and anyone that steps foot in my house - am obsessed. But after hearing all about Feast In The Field’s Mercado, I have my eye on an updated version of this classic...

Keep reading for all the details and next time you shop with Due East, be sure to tell her that The Scout Guide sent you! xo - LAK

Photos by Mollie Brown of Due East

LAK: You recently popped up at Rancho Pillow’s annual Feast In The Field - tell us everything!

MB: It was a whirlwind! I attended one of the first Feasts in the Field a few years ago and have been dying to go back ever since but my schedule never allowed it. The stars aligned this year and I was asked to be a part of their pop up, Mercado. The good energy from the whole experience went far beyond the pop-up. The food, the music, the guests and the amazing humans working it ... it was magic.

LAK: Loving that there was a New Orleans twist this year, what were your culinary highlights?

MB: Kelly Fields of NO’s Willa Jean and Cheetie Kumar of Raleigh’s Garland put together a delicious menu for us, each night with a special twist. The highlight was definitely the lamb slow cooked over an open fire.

LAK: Kudos on being asked to be part of the Mercado, what products were shoppers loving on the most?

MB: Due East sold rugs and poufs but what I’m most excited about is selling out of a brand new line of kilim square poufs (they’re firm enough for a seat and can serve as a side table, too). They went so well that I have set up a pre-order for the new collection!

LAK: Did you have any time to go exploring - what was your favorite find?

MB: I didn’t get to head into the fields, but in the Mercado, I was joined by the most amazing artists and everyone contributed something special. Depetra from Houston makes stunning jewelry, Ellen Macomber from New Orleans makes one-of-a-kind wearables and Rancho Pillow had its own line of goods this year, too.

LAK: Now that you’ve had a little R&R what’s next for Due East?

MB: I have spent a lot of time in the last few months working one-on-one with retailers and designers on custom projects which I really enjoy. I love how personal it is. No project is the same and I really enjoy how much of a creative, collaborative process it is. All that said, I don’t have any plans to abandon the site. I still love that part of the business and it’s what started this whole thing in the first place!

LAK: Do you have any trips planned to return to the motherland?

MB: I’m packing now! I head back to Morocco April 11th and am so excited about getting back to the place that gives me constant inspiration.

LAK: So jealous! We will definitely be following you on Instagram. What is at the top of your sourcing list?

MB: This trip is half sourcing and half reconnecting with business partners and artisans, new and old. For product, I’m most excited to source some new vintage kilims for the poufs that sold out at the Mercado!

LAK: When will we get to shop your latest Moroccan haul?

MB: I’m slowly throwing up some of the pieces I sourced for the Rancho Pillow Mercado on my site and there are a lot of new gems in my office waiting to go live, so keep an eye on my Insta for the latest!

LAK: Let’s wrap it up with a fun question. Where’s your favorite spot to cool down on a hot day? Which are quickly approaching...

MB: I may be the only human in Texas who doesn’t love the water but my husband loves Deep Eddy and I’m perfectly fine to accompany him and lounge ;)

LAK: Let’s end with a fun fact: For those that don’t already know, where did the name ‘Due East’ come from?

MB: Texas and Morocco share the same latitude lines so if you were to head “Due East” from here, you’d hit Morocco! Another fun fact is that if you follow the actual central latitude line of Marrakesh, Morocco west back to Texas, it goes through a sparsely populated area in Texas with an old rock church in the middle of nowhere ... where I just so happened to get married. Chills, right?!

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formidablepassion · 6 years

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Liveblogging: I Saw Three Ships

Next fic is I Saw Three Ships by @grey2510

Rating: Teen Archive Warning: None Word Count: 2100 Summary: Three stories, three relationships. Three different voices. When Coleman, Baby, and Mac have to deal with everyday life with the Winchesters it can be sweet, frustrating, and hilarious.

Crowley still calls Dean squirrel when he is a demon, huh?

"Squirrel, please tell me we have grander plans for the evening than another round of karaoke."

Is this from Colmean's POV? I love it already.

Coleman doesn't particularly like Crowley, but he's gotta agree with the demon on this front, if Dean's off-key singing along to Baby's radio over the years has been any indication of his distinct lack of musical talent. Even a cooler knows better.

All of this was amazing. I need more Baby and Coleman bickering.

"He's not that bad.

You only say that because it's Dean, Baby. Pretty sure your engine drowns out the worst of it.

Really? You're gonna claim that I don't know what's going on inside me? It's MY radio he uses.

You just think the sun shines out of Dean's ass.

At least I'm not sulking over the fact that Dean's hanging out with Crowley instead of your big angel crush.

Shut up. I do NOT—"

Crowley is always up for it. Especially when it comes to Dean. Amirite? sorrynotsorry

"The triplets?" Crowley asks, delight in his voice.

"Unless you're not up to it."

**snort** I love Dean.

"C'mon, Sam, say it with me: Slay Ride."

"That's not funny, Dean."

"It's a little funny."

"Dean, three people are dead and—"

I adore the POV's you're using. And I want to always be able to have their damn POV's available to me now.

"Hey, Eileen."

Aw, I like her, Baby practically purrs as Sam bungles his way through some signs and Eileen corrects him or just giggles at his attempts.

Coleman agrees instantly, Right?

She does fit with them!!

But Eileen just seems like she fits with the boys, like she belongs on the team, riding around in Baby with all of them, going on hunts. And she makes Sam happy.

I love the relationship between Coleman and Baby. It is amazing.

"Uh, I'd rather not get punched in the face, but if you wanna try, I'm not stopping you."

Sam does have a point.

Do you think he knows WHY Dean'd punch him in the face yet?

Baby sighs. No. Don't get me wrong, I love Sam and all, but sometimes…

Super dense.

Yep.

Mac is a little like Sam in this regard.

All kinds! Sam tends to stick to porn with girls in it, but Dean's more adventurous. We went to sites I'd never seen before! And—

Yeah, ok, we get it, Baby cuts him off. And did he delete his browser history before Sam saw?

Yep! Mac pauses as though the pieces are all coming together. Ohhhh. Dean doesn't want Sam to know about those sites?

Exactly.

You should totally do that Mac. Baby needs a sexy merman.

Coleman relaxes as best as a cooler can into the leather seats as the brothers continue to banter. You know, it's too bad, Baby: your rearview mirror would look really good with a sexy merman hanging from it.

Oh fuck you.

I could order you one online, Baby!

NOT HELPING, MAC."

Hehehe... I love Crowley.

"Nuttin' for Christmas"? The hell?

Hey, it's your crush who chose the shitty music, not me. I just play it.

At least Crowley's not here…

Squirrel and nut jokes?

Yep.

Hard same, Dean.

Dean listens for a moment. "Yeah, I guess this one's not bad. Kinda badass, for Christmas music. But it's October."

I'm pretty sure that they are they are the best things ever.

Don't get jealous, Coleman, but I'm pretty sure they're about to soul gaze.

Right back atcha. Don't worry, Baby: Dean still loves you. Maybe he'll give you, ya know, a lube job soon. What Coleman wouldn't give to be able to waggle his eyebrows. (Or to have eyebrows to waggle in the first place.)

See? You ARE the immature one.

You love me.

I'm stuck with you. There's a difference.

Yeah, but Cas probably wants to inform as many humans as he can of this fact.

"Did you know Jesus wasn't actually born in—"

"Oh my god, Cas," Dean whines. "Biography of your half-brother or whatever is not really what I'm looking for right now."

Yeah Dean. Make him another mix tape. You know, as a Christmas gift.

"Seriously? Seriously? Have I taught you nothing about music, Cas?"

"Thirteen Led Zeppelin songs was not much of an education."

"Whoa, whoa, what—?"

"Perhaps you should make me another tape."

I love the four of them. They are wonderful.

"It's 'Monster Holiday' and we're on a hunt. For monsters. Seems right."

"Naturally."

"You ever tell Sammy this happened—"

"Of course, Dean."

And the four of them sail on down the road.

This was wonderful and I love Coleman. So you should totally go read and give a ton of kudos and comments.

#spncoldesthitspromo #spncoldesthits #Formidable Liveblogs #grey2510

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lhs3020b · 7 years

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In need of a theme

So I had a small light-bulb moment about ME:A today...

I’ve noticed a surprisingly-consistent thread in the commentary that I’ve seen in various places. People just aren’t finding it engaging - the game is easy to put down.

And I think I know why.

The game is deeply confused about what its theme is. It tries to present something like a “look at the wonder of exploration!” thing. This is arguably a bit hackneyed, but it’s a perfectly valid theme, and workable things can be done with it. But there’s a problem.

You see, ME:A’s narrative, setting and events aren’t consistent - at all - with its own theme.

Exploration is great - except all the wonderful new planets are duff hellholes. (Most of them don’t even look pretty.)

Exploration is great, except the Nexus is adrift and rudderless due to bad leadership, and everyone on it is on half-rations. (I don’t know if the latter is literally true in-universe, but I did get the sense that people on it were distinctly hungry, prior to Ryder’s arrival.)

Exploration is great, except the arks have all gone missing and the death toll could well run into the tens of thousands. (But it’s OK that people were falsely-advertised at, lied to and probably conned out of their lifesavings by Garson’s acolytes [fn. 1], because exploration, amirite?)

Exploration is great, except the natives all start at “suspicious” and often move onto “genocidally-violent”.

Also, regarding the above point, note the “Kett/malign transformation” subplot - basically a classic Change Is Bad, Newness Must Be Distrusted and Everything Different Is Evil (And Trying To Kill You) plot. (Also, it may have just a faint whiff or two of xenophobia about it - look at the evil foreigners aliens, trying to pollute our pure culture precious genes.)

Also, Exploration Is Great - except the game doesn’t even allow you to travel to even half of the Heleus Cluster until you’re along way in.

Then of course we have the issue of undifferentiated gameplay - samey-looking Remnant sites, seemingly pointless fetch-quests, ubiquitous rude/unpleasant NPCs. The vast majority of in-game quests are completely forgetable.

Then we have things like the Sages of Mithrava - why exactly are we questing to visit the Greybeards? This isn’t Skyrim, you know? Also, if it’s a game about newness and exploration, why are we chasing after the Lost Wisdom of the Ancients?

Now, all of this could add up to a deconstruction of the supposed theme. Granted said deconstruction would be pretty brutal - but ME:A never goes there. No-one actually questions the “Exploration Is Good” meme in-game. To my knowledge, no-one’s suggested “Let’s go home”, and I don’t even recall any characters even saying that maybe - maybe just maybe! - the Initiative’s planning could have been better.

Then there’s the frankly-squicky stuff, like the Alec Ryder sub-plot, which gets nastier and nastier the further I get into it.

Then there’s the lack of differentiation on elements of the previous games. The Pathfinder thing is just another Spectre-style “Spec Ops Elite” thing, as far as I can tell. (I know I’m arguing against something like 90% of modern pop culture here, but I’m so f***ing bored of the SOE meme.) Addison/Tann etc. appear to be an even-more-useless version of the Council, so we’ve been there before. (The Council, at least, had the excuse that the Reapers were utterly outside of their own frame of reference, and also, well, Cerberus.)

Then we have the things that could be developed into something really interesting - and instead fall flat. Last night’s excursion through the Remnant derelict ended up in a tedious let-down. Some pointless turret-sniping, followed by a bland slog through a boringly-linear dungeon. It wasn’t even visually-pretty, just badly-lit and shadowy. And the whole time I was comparing this to the derelict Reaper in ME2 - remember how creepy, emotive and atmospheric that journey was? And how meaningfully-consequential it was too? Whereas at the end of the Remnant derelict, nothing is discovered, nothing new is learned, and one is left questioning why one just spent the last half-hour doing this instead of (say) the dishes, or the hoovering.

And this leads me neatly onto the next fault of ME:A, which is the storm of cliches. The Remnant drive core - is there a more meaningless phrase in the whole of SF? A drive core. A core that drives, or what’s left behind when you put a giant apple-corer through an engine assembly? Who knows, and who cares? Its complete irrelevance is even demonstrated by the game-assets themselves - the look like every other Remnant machine anywhere in the game, except mirrored and floating at an angle in mid-air.

Remember, Exploration Is Great - except when you find absolutely nothing of value at the end of your journey.

ME:A tries to tell us that Exploration Is Great, but it (accidentally) shows us a message that Exploration Is Pointless, Exploration Is Boring and Exploration Inolves Ugly Low-res Textures That Don’t Tile Properly (But Do Eat Graphics Memory For Breakfast).

So, without a consistent theme, what exactly do you have left? The theme is what binds a narrative together. At the risk of sounding a little pretentious, the theme is what gives the story its soul. Without a consistent theme, what you have instead is a load of episodic nuggets (if you’re lucky). There’s nothing much to cohere them into anything meaningful.

ME1 was a bug-fest and seriously-clunky, but we forgave it those faults because the story worked thematically. The elements hung together, synergised, and built a greater whole. Even ME3 mostly managed the same job - the worst of the broken stuff was end-loaded into the last 10 minutes, after all.

I suspect ME:A will be the last Mass Effect game. I honestly can’t see how you’d come back from this. The story is what makes Mass Effect what it is, and if that’s flawed, what do you have left?

__________

[Fn. 1] Seriously, this is my growing headcanon for what the Initiative started off as. I reckon it was basically a Green Colony-style fraud that got just a little bit out of hand. I mean, those ships had to be funded somehow, and being a billionaire alone probably isn’t enough. In the Real World, a billion bucks won’t even get you one aircraft carrier, after all.

#LHS analysis #Mass Effect 4 #Mass Effect: Andromeda #ME:A

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charlesjening · 5 years

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People Are Talking About You at Work, Here’s How to Shut Their Big Fat Mouths

Office gossip, it’s the worst, amirite? You know what else is the worst? Jason Bramwell’s secret Louboutin collection. I heard from Liz in marketing that he rocks those size 13 stilettos like no one’s business when his wife isn’t watching. True story.

OK, that isn’t true and Liz never said that. But that’s how easy it is for a rumor to start, and once the genie is out of the bottle, there’s no shoving that sucker back in, so Bramwell is just going to have to accept that he’s known to the entire internet as a crossdresser now, sorry bro. Every office in every industry has its share of gossip, from your local grocery store to the White House, catty folk with nothing better to do are spreading rumors like herpes at a back-alley ’80s gangbang.

The problem can be especially pervasive in public accounting, where long hours, poor communication, and hordes of overworked introverts make for a tornado of low whispers and rumor mongering. Hell, for the first few years of this website, our entire existence was built around rumors and whispers and public accountants saying things about their firms no one dared to say in the office.

Whispers, according to this recent Journal of Accountancy article, are a sign of a gossip problem.

There’s an easy way to tell whether your office has a gossip problem, said Heather Kephart, CPA: Listen for the whispering.

“There’s no good reason to whisper unless you’re in a library,” said Kephart, director of financial reporting at Koniag Inc., an Alaska Native Corporation headquartered in Kodiak, Alaska. “It creates distrust, it creates questions. You always wonder, ‘Who are they talking about?,’ never, ‘What are they talking about?’ “

OK, that’s a little paranoid, don’t you think? Caleb once gave me a piece of advice in the midst of a narcissistic breakdown: “No one thinks you’re as important as you think you are.” I think that’s what he said, I forget actually because his tone pissed me off, but in hindsight I understand what he was trying to say. People care way less than you think they do. Becky and Kim over in the corner whispering are probably trying to keep it down, because this is an office, damnit, and people are trying to work. But whatever, we’ll go ahead and pretend it’s high school.

Heather also suggests that kudos (or, as the oldies like to say “participation trophies for the kids”) can quell interpersonal conflicts that may be causing strife in the office.

Letting everyone know who is contributing to good work getting done can curb the backbiting and distrust that Kephart says are the roots of discord among co-workers. She recommends having regular sessions that give everyone on the team a chance to recognize coworkers for their contributions.

“It takes a half hour to go around the room and have everyone express something positive they want the rest of the group to know,” Kephart said. “You start to realize, hearing this month after month, that the person you’ve been gossiping about or don’t like actually does a lot of good in the organization.”

Yeah right. Every Monday on our weekly conference call, I can just hear Bramwell seething in his Louboutins from 1,000 miles away when I get headpats for creating a beautiful clickbaity headline. I bet he has an AG voodoo doll with a knife right through her big, fat brain that he twists every time I get praise from TPTB. Good thing he lives several states away or I’d watch my back every time I hear high heels clicking down the street behind me.

Praise is definitely a good thing, but I’ve been in a situation with a crappy coworker (no, not Bramwell), and let me tell you, everyone rolled their eyes when our boss gave this person praise. And no one, I mean no one, liked him more because of it. If anything, it just made us talk even more shit, trying to work out why our boss was chugging this guy’s Kool-Aid so hard. So yeah, take the above advice with a large chunk of salt.

The biggest takeaway from the JofA article comes courtesy of advice to management. Are you craggy, old bastards listening? Hike up those wrinkly balls and take a seat, you need to read this.

Nothing can quiet a rumor mill like an open door. T.J. O’Neill, CPA, tax supervisor at Mueller Prost in St. Louis, believes being forthright with employees can head off rumors before they have a chance to grow.

“When a leadership team can answer the questions people are afraid to ask, it squashes a lot of questions people are going to have,” O’Neill said. He suggests holding periodic meetings to share as much behind-the-scenes information as possible — everything from revenue projections to staffing decisions — to keep everyone up-to-date.

Now, it is not in our best interest to encourage transparency within accounting firms, since this site is fueled by paranoia and general distrust of leadership, but it’s good advice regardless. A lack of transparency leads to mistrust leads to paranoia leads to … well. This. It leads to some hack “news” organization (LOL) breaking the news of mergers and layoffs because leadership didn’t feel staff deserved the courtesy of knowing what’s going on before the profession at large.

No matter what anyone does, people are going to talk. Just do your job and hopefully your bitch of a coworker won’t go around telling people you are secretly smushing your gnarly Shrek paws into high heels when no one is around.

The post People Are Talking About You at Work, Here’s How to Shut Their Big Fat Mouths appeared first on Going Concern.

republished from Going Concern

#Technology #Finance

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lisarprahl · 5 years

Text

People Are Talking About You at Work, Here’s How to Shut Their Big Fat Mouths

Whispers, according to this recent Journal of Accountancy article, are a sign of a gossip problem.

There’s an easy way to tell whether your office has a gossip problem, said Heather Kephart, CPA: Listen for the whispering.

Heather also suggests that kudos (or, as the oldies like to say “participation trophies for the kids”) can quell interpersonal conflicts that may be causing strife in the office.

The biggest takeaway from the JofA article comes courtesy of advice to management. Are you craggy, old bastards listening? Hike up those wrinkly balls and take a seat, you need to read this.

The post People Are Talking About You at Work, Here’s How to Shut Their Big Fat Mouths appeared first on Going Concern.

from Accounting News https://goingconcern.com/people-are-talking-about-you-at-work-heres-how-to-shut-their-big-fat-mouths/

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ashleydpalmerusa · 5 years

Text

People Are Talking About You at Work, Here’s How to Shut Their Big Fat Mouths

Whispers, according to this recent Journal of Accountancy article, are a sign of a gossip problem.

There’s an easy way to tell whether your office has a gossip problem, said Heather Kephart, CPA: Listen for the whispering.

Heather also suggests that kudos (or, as the oldies like to say “participation trophies for the kids”) can quell interpersonal conflicts that may be causing strife in the office.

The biggest takeaway from the JofA article comes courtesy of advice to management. Are you craggy, old bastards listening? Hike up those wrinkly balls and take a seat, you need to read this.

The post People Are Talking About You at Work, Here’s How to Shut Their Big Fat Mouths appeared first on Going Concern.

from Accounting News https://goingconcern.com/people-are-talking-about-you-at-work-heres-how-to-shut-their-big-fat-mouths/

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mediconico · 6 years

Text

Atitlán

Lake Atitlán is a lake in the Guatemalan altiplanos about 2 hours east of Xela by bus well known for its iconic geography and diverse Mayan history and languages. It’s a popular tourist destination, as the stunning vistas and classic Guatemalan lakeside towns make for a relaxing getaway from some of the more polluted larger cities in Guatemala. There is an interesting mix of cultures around the lake, from traditional Mayan peoples wearing huipil and corte to a hippie culture that has flourished in recent years to the more tourist-centered guide companies and overpriced restaurants. It’s a site that can’t be missed if one is traveling to Guatemala.

This past weekend, I make the trek to Lake Atitlán from Xela by bus through winding mountain roads as we drop a few thousand feet of elevation to the volcano-ringed caldera that forms the lake. It’s a large group of 13 of us in the bus, having coordinated our trip with friends from multiple different programs in Xela. Five other girls on our program from UVA will also meet us at the lake, as they are working on a clean water initiative in a small town there. We’re on our way to San Pedro, a popular town on the west side of the lake that boasts a good blend of both tourist and more local cultures. I’ve decided to stay with 3 of my friends from Xela in a cheap hostel “Mr. Mullets”, which is popular among tourists but appears to have a good reputation for its social atmosphere.

The first day at the lake, Saturday, I spend largely relaxing with the folks from Xela. In the late morning, we make our way to another hostel, Zoola, which has a bar overlooking the lake and an open-air swimming pool. Why the pool? Sadly, Lake Atitlán has suffered from significant pollution over the last 20 years, and it’s not particularly safe to swim in with all of the waste and algae bloom that covers parts of the lake. It’s a beautiful location, but the pollution is a pragmatic reminder of the lack of infrastructure in Guatemala. And it’s a reminder that in America, we have the luxury to propose initiatives to save the environment; in Guatemala, the government has to pick and choose where it will spend its money. The environment may not be the highest priority.

The view from the pool at Zoola. Note the algae growth in the background on the lake.

After a couple of drinks around the pool, the group decides to jump spots and hop on a lancha (these are small motorboats that run between the towns on the lake for somewhere between Q15-Q25) across the lake to a small town called Jaibalito. The group tells me that over there, there’s a small hotel with an infinity pool, jacuzzi, poolside bar, and good view of the lake. While I’m not so fond of only drinking and lounging when traveling, I’m keen on relaxing and take the adventure in stride. Traveling is all about being flexible, and I’m optimistic something fun will happen across the lake.

And fun it is! The hotel in Jaibalito is a gem. The pool has a great view of the lake, and they make a killer basil mojito of which I have a couple. There’s also a small TV that one can see from the jacuzzi playing the Russia-Croatia World Cup game, so that’s where I elect to sit. In the jacuzzi, I meet a group of local girls traveling together, and before long we get to talking. Two are from Guatemala City, and one has come to the lake all the way from Costa Rica! I end up spending a while talking to one of the girls, Pamela, because I learn that she has recently earned her degree as a nutritionist, and I am curious to know more about her work here in Guatemala. I’m glad to have made some local friends, and before we have to leave a few hours later I make sure to exchange numbers.

After a bumpy lancha ride (the lake gets quite windy in the afternoon), I get back to Mr. Mullets around dinner time. Getting back to my room I find my roommate, Melu, lying down in bed not looking so well. It seems like she’s caught the stomach bug (pretty much a requisite of coming to Guatemala) of the “front-end” type, and she’s not feeling so well. I’ve got a little bit of medical knowledge, some Tylenol, and a big bottle of water so I take a minute to empathize with her and let her know it’ll likely be okay as long as she takes care of her fluid intake. It’s a brief moment, perhaps 5 minutes, where I’m reminded of some of the reasons why I went into medicine. It’s nothing big – just a snapshot of compassion where I’m able to reassure a fellow human being that they’ll most likely be okay, and that yes, it’s never fun to feel sick. In that common ground, we earn each other’s trust. I give her a hug, and she climbs back up to her bunk feeling a little better.

Just as I’m about to walk off to the shower with my towel in hand, another girl opens the door to our room. “Welcome to our room!” I exclaim, hoping to make another friend in the hostel. Megan is a tall, blonde girl with soft blue eyes and a happy face who looks to be traveling alone. We get to talking, and before long I’ve forgotten about that shower I was going to take. She’s American, from what I would consider to be the Pacific Northwest (Montana), and it turns out we’ve got lots in common. She’s at Lake Atitlán for a month to study Spanish and live with a host family, but this is her first day on her own and she’s at the hostel hoping to meet some new people. We end up talking for at least a couple of hours – she’s reading “The Handmaid’s Tale” by Margaret Atwood; we chat about my work at the hospital here; a little bit of her home life.

Before leaving for dinner with some of my program-mates I convince Megan to join me and my friend Erinn for a sunrise hike the next day at Indian Nose, a popular viewpoint of the lake where one can see seven of Guatemala’s 37 volcanoes lined up, including the infamous Volcán de Fuego which recently erupted sadly killing over 100 local Guatemalans. Melu looks to be a little too sick still to get up for the 0330 wake-up call, so I’m glad I’ll have another friend from the hostel joining me.

The next morning, as promised, Megan and I wake up at 0330 to make sure we’re at the tour company next door for our departure time at 0400. Indian Nose is a popular hike around San Pedro, so we pack in tightly with the rest of our group to one of the ubiquitous minibuses that form much of the local transportation in Guatemala. With our three guides sitting in front, we begin our short drive to the trailhead up through the potholed dirt roads of the pueblos in the hills above San Pedro.

At one of the city centers, a couple of armed policemen flag us down and hop aboard. ¿Quieren que les acompañemos? they question, asking if we’d like an escort. The guides acquiesce; unfortunately on many hikes in Guatemala, it’s safer for tourists to go with police escorts because robbers hide out on trails, knowing they can take advantage of relatively wealthy hikers walking with expensive cameras, cellphones, and other outdoor gear.

We arrive at the trailhead and begin a brief walk through the cornfields in the backyards of the small pueblo at the base of Indian Nose before arriving at a more established trail that winds through the mountainside. One of our guides, Jorge, teaches me about some of the fauna and flora surrounding us, including café bushes that extend down the hillside with their still-unripe green coffee beans as well as trees with mottled bark that he tells me are used to make the traditional Guatemalan marimbas. He pauses for a second on the trailhead, pointing out a couple of small herbs. Esta es la que te fortalece, he says, picking the leaves of one. Es como la marijuana, he continues with a hint of a smile. He wanders over to a different plant. Y esta, para el sueño. It’s good for sleep. The volcanic earth around Lake Atitlán is bountiful.

We wander on, catching our altitude-shortened breath every few steps, finding a series of small wooden ladders that lead us up the hillside. I won’t comment on their safety, but I do choose to use the knotted ropes that lie to the side of the latter to steady myself. After about 30 minutes, we crest the final hill to the mirador where we’ll watch the sun rise around 0530. There’s a small set of benches, and in the back is a shelter where our guides are heating up coffee in a large cast iron pot over a fire.

We grab a seat with some hot coffee and freshly-baked bread over one of the most spectacular vistas Guatemala has to offer, and I’m once again struck by the natural beauty of the country. The sunrise has only just begun, with the clouds flecked in a rose red that conjures to mind the lighting of a fire. In the foreground lies the volcano-ringed lake – including the massive Volcán San Pedro just off to our right.

Volcán San Pedro, right, and the town of San Pedro, front.

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Sunrise progression including timelapse. Not visible in the photos, but in person one could see Volcán de Fuego erupting in the background.

Photos of Megan and Erinn and me atop the mirador

After about a half an hour, it’s time to begin the trek back to town for a much-needed nap. But I’m glad we got up early; it’s always a good feeling when it’s 7am and you feel as if you’ve already accomplished so much with the day.

After a brief nap and delicious breakfast of eggs, bacon, and avocado toast (millenials, amirite?) I get together with Megan, another of our new roommates, Karen, and her friend Lise to go out and explore the lake for the day. I propose that we walk over to the hostel Zoola again to grab some drinks, as it turns out that my new local friend Pamela and her friends are coming to San Pedro for the day and want to meet us there. We end up hanging out by the pool for a little while, and while it’s only around 10:30 in the morning we figure it’s about time for a piña colada:

From Zoola, we manage to convince Pamela to join us for a quick trip on a lancha over to Santiago, and adjacent town on the lake, for lunch and to explore the Sunday market. Santiago is famous for this market, as it’s the largest one on the lake.

After a relatively nausea-inducing ride on the lancha towards Santiago (the lake gets quite windy and choppy during the afternoon), we are dropped right into the middle of a tranquil market that extends from the dock all the way up into the town of Santiago. Markets in Guatemala are diverse; vendors hawk wares anywhere from traditional handmade Guatemalan clothing to electronics to second-hand clothes. We walk up the hill towards town, ogling at the bountiful variety of colors, sounds, and smells.

Dried fish typical to a Guatemalan market.

After a couple of hours, we decide it’s time to head back to San Pedro to relax. We say goodbye to Pamela, who hops on a different lancha towards Panajachel to rejoin her friends across the lake. This time, the lancha ride is mercifully a little bit quicker and less choppy as the lake has cooled down a little bit.

From left to right, photo of me, Lise, and Karen on the lancha back from Santiago.

Typical street scene in San Pedro.

Back in San Pedro, we walk just a few short blocks to a small hotel named Mikaso, recommended to us by Pamela for its deck with jacuzzis overlooking the lake. When we arrive to the hotel, a sign clearly states that the jacuzzis are only for use by hotel guests, but you know the drill from when you were in high school or college. We waltz up the stairs to the roof deck with jacuzzis. In any case, we are hotel guests, perhaps just not at that particular hotel...

There on the deck at Mikaso, we spend at least a couple of hours relaxing in the sun, drinking cuba libres, and enjoying the warmth of the tubs. It’s rare that you find friends that you travel with this well, and even rarer to stumble upon so many experiences in a single day. Little did we know, there would be even more to come.

View from hotel Mikaso in San Pedro, Lago de Atitlán

Megan and Karen having some fun in the jacuzzi.

We cruise back to the hostel for a couple of happy hour drinks before heading out with a bigger group of friends to a restaurant named Clover recommended to me by one of the Spanish teachers at our school, Claudia. A departure from traditional Guatemalan fare, Clover offers Asian fusion food with dishes such as Thai green curry and spring rolls. It’s a solid meal for a good price, and we hang out in the garden with drinks for a couple of hours enjoying the ambience and the scenery of the lake.

After dinner, we decide to walk just a few blocks over to a carnival that we’ve learned is happening that night in San Pedro. We’re not exactly sure what the party entails, but we know from earlier in the day that a Ferris wheel is involved somehow, as we saw it being set up earlier in the day coming back from Santiago.

The carnival Ferris wheel.

A children’s ride at the carnival.

It’s dark out, but the carnival is full of lights and sounds. We walk past kids jumping on giant trampolines, arcades with old video game consoles (I would have paid good money to play some Metal Slug, but alas it wasn’t one of them) other, more improvised arcades set up with personal televisions and game consoles, foosball tables, more classic carnival gambling games such as airsoft target shooting, food vendors with fried foods...there is something for everyone.

A few minutes later, wandering down a narrow street packed on either side with games and vendors, we stumble upon what appears to be the Guatemalan version of a roulette table. The roulette wheel is adorned with Guatemalan playing cards in a circle, with different colored pins stuck at various intervals. Viene la rosa, la rosa, cien quetzales, la rosa viene, hollers the “dealer”, an energetic man in his 30s who appears to have much experience hosting the game as evidenced by his polished vernacular. Folks crowd around the table to place small bets of 1-2 quetzales on either colors or cards. Some cards, like the rosa, hold a value of 100 quetzales; winning on a color only returns a 5:1 value (there are 4 colors).

Playing the Guatemalan roulette game.

We play a couple of rounds, a highly enjoyable experience as the dealer amps up the drama by calling out cards and colors to lure people in to placing additional bets as the wheel spins. I end up losing a couple of quetzales, but Megan places a bet on the pajaro card and wins Q20! We decide to quit while we’re ahead, and wander off to the rest of the carnival.

Only a few paces later, we stumble upon the same rickety Ferris wheel that we saw earlier in the day. A handwritten sign scrawled in Sharpie states the price: Q5/2 people, about 75 cents. Megan graciously offers to pay for us with her winnings, and we hop on.

This isn’t like your typical Ferris wheel.

The Ferris wheel is unlike any I’ve ever seen. A teenage boy sits in a small seat connected to a large gas-powered generator at the base hooked up to a car battery and accelerator pedal, which is then attached to a network of metal cables strung around the wheel. I’m pretty sure the kid is stoned by looking at him. Safety standards are not particularly apparent on this ride.

After waiting about 15 minutes to fill all the seats on the ride, our operator hits the gas and flings us around faster than I’m sure the law allows in the States. Along with the speed, the yellow chairs are attached via a free-spinning metal bar, so we swing forwards and backwards. Megan grabs my arm and squeals in a mix of fear and excitement. Another 15 minutes later (this is the longest Ferris ride wheel of my life) we slow to a stop and un-board the ride. Exhilarated, we walk back towards the center of the carnival. Having so much fun I had lost track of time; it’s already close to midnight! I announce that I’d like to wander back to the hostel, and the others agree. We’re exhausted.

Lake Atitlán was beautiful, and the adventures I had were unforgettable. I’m unsure if I’ll ever get to see the girls again, although I know we’d be delighted if it were to happen. But in those few days at the lake together, it was as if we became best friends. Because friendship isn’t necessarily dependent on the amount of time people spend together, but rather on the type and the quality of the time spent together.

#lagoatitlan

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