#he did so much to me

[bpdohwhatajoy]

He’s literally the most evil person I’ve ever met. He couldn’t just be my most abusive ex and leave it at that. No. He has to keep triggering me over and over by reminding me of his presence. I have blocked him so many times on so many different things and yet he’ll keep making throwaways and alts.

#ryan.txt #fucked up people #abusive ex #trauma #traumatized #cptsd #ptsd #it makes me feel fucking gross #the way he is literally trying to stop me from healing #my ptsd has been so bad ever since him #and he’s intent on it getting worse #he did so much to me #that apparently wasn’t bad enough #it wasn’t bad enough to worsen my ptsd to a state where it’s the worst it’s ever been #and make me so terrified that I isolate myself like crazy and refuse to date again #no that wasn’t enough apparently #he can’t let me move on #he can’t just leave me fucking be #he’s miserable and he’s still trying to drag me down just like he did when we were together #he wants me to post about him on Reddit so bad I know he does #he only cares about being remembered the worst thing to him is being forgotten #so I’m not gonna post on there about him #it’s what he wants #I have to keep remembering that #I almost relapsed on checking his Reddit #but despite it all I stayed strong even though the urges are clawing at me #I’m strong

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

#Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Emporio Ivankov #Dragodile #Crocodad #My art #One Piece #We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay #Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao #I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally #He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace. #You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that #Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy #And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do #But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨ #And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

#hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #analysis #dissociation #look idk what to tell you all #I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense #when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations #he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything #literally I've been there #the difference between him and me tho #is that he can't show it #he's the king of hell #he has to bluff his way through conversations #but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind #and watch him reply to the things he DID catch #anyways #NEW BLORBO???? #who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel #and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character #I love him #he's so sad

[idiotsonlyevent]

i wonder where the idea of chilchuck being a deadbeat came from when theres like. no textual evidence for it ?

he knows what all of them are up to; he still writes to flertom and she sent him his neckwarmer, so that to me implies that they at least have a somewhat positive relationship?

its more ambiguous with meijack and puckpatti, but since meijack is also a picklock, i wouldn't be surprised if he taught her himself, considering how trades are often passed down through families, and because he talks about sending people to her if he dies.

also the way he talks about puckpatti is very like... it's obvious he wants her to take things more seriously, but he's accepting, and his tone here reads more fond to me than anything else.

like, he keeps his daughters' old toys under his desk? that doesn't scream 'deadbeat' at all, it screams 'empty nester' who doesn't know how to reach out or is scared to do so

EDIT: i know a lot of the 'deadbeat dad' stuff is jokes, but some people are Not joking and genuinely think chilchuck is a bad dad. this post is not saying that you cant joke about it; it is just outlining what canon shows regarding his (clearly positive) relationship with his kids.

#i love making fun of him but he is like. Very Explicitly Not a Deadbeat Dad lol #WHY DID I WRITE SO MUCH AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN #CHILCHUCK I AHTE EYOUUUUUIUUU #WHY DOES HE DO THIS TO ME.... #EDIT: 'i thought the deadbeat dad stuff was a joke do ppl actually think that?' YES thats why i made this post 😭😭 bc ive seen ppl genuinely #say that hes a bad dad/husband! #L.txt #dungeon meshi #chilposting #long post #chilchuck #chilchuck tims

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF puppet and Michael Afton got beef,,

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #michael afton #mike schmidt #the marionette #the puppet #charlie emily #fnaf #fnaf 2 #fnaf movie #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #I don’t think the puppet likes Michael much pff #doesn’t hate him just knows what he did #I like how the puppet is seemingly more aware than most haunted animatronics #so it makes sense to me they’d talk so forwardly to the others #she’s mostly just joking and teasing here #I also think about how violent they were as lefty #so this blunt attitude + hostility in the games towards Michael #just adds to this personality #PUPPET MENTIONED 🔥🔥 #we love the puppet

[egophiliac]

I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!

I am not normal about any of these characters!

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #me just staring at the ceiling thinking about anime characters #if i start talking about the big stuff now it's going to turn into a huge rambling mess so in the meantime #i did not get sebek (yet) (i need to contemplate my gems...) but i did see his groovy #he is just full-on cinderella-sparkles bibbidi-bobbidi-booing into that armor! magnificent. #and i really don't have enough words for how much i love tiny malleus. he is perfect. he is precious. he is everything to me. #he knows who his dad is no matter what some crusty dead talking ectoplasm blobs say #(man no wonder lilia's got hangups if THAT was the general attitude he was getting) #('eww you got your dirty bat cooties on the prince' go sit in the corner with mrs. rosehearts you absolute garbage) #(...i did kind of love that lilia started to wake up because the senate said one nice thing to him) #(and he immediately was like 'this is not reality') #(sounds about right) #on a lighter note i was just. SO charmed by the little throwaway about ✨dragon lord consort esteemed diplomat revaan✨ #who picks the vegetables out of his food and hides them under the tablecloth #everything i learn about this man makes me like him more. he was SO dumb. #now we know where malleus gets it from i guess #also unrelated but once again the fact that i named my mc tamago has had unintentional consequences #tamago take the tamago and tamago tamagao tamago #frikkin love that when yuu gives the egg back you can just be like 'i love him. this is my baby now.' 100% accurate. #also yuu continually referring to malleus as tsunotarou even to the senate = amazing. yuu really has NO self-preservation or awareness. #they fit right in with everyone else #<- see what did i tell you. huge rambling mess. #and i haven't even BEGUN to talk about MELEANOR -- (is dragged offstage by a hook)

[suntails]

toot toot!

#breaking my streak of dramatic af captions bc look at this. look at it. wtf was i supposed to call it. he's tootin whaddya want from me #he go TOOT TOOT on his lil trumpet i fuckgjn LOVE HIM im maxing this card im serious #lvl 60 10/10 no expense is too much for my precious boy #i found a new brush that has this rly soft charcoal vibe and i used it on this whole thing and it was SEXY it was HEAVEN #it was fun for coloring too!!! and the outfit colors are fun to color OUGHH everything made just for me <3 feeling SILLY #twst #twisted wonderland #twst silver #his bunny outfit sweeps like im sorry but its the best card of the event and its not even fucking close #suntails #i did one 10-pull bc i wanted the paint bonus from epel's card even tho i HATE that card #and i instead got SUPER lucky and got deuce and NO epel!!! i couldnt be fucking happier #then my job interview today never called and i was miserable again but it was an internal issue and im now rescheduled for next week #so please dear god pls guys pray i get this job. i want it sooooo bad

[francesderwent]

reblog this and tag with a food you no longer have access to (closed restaurant, state you moved away from, ex’s mom’s cooking, etc) that will haunt you until your dying day, mine are the spicy chicken sandwich on the employee menu at the fine dining restaurant I was a prep cook at, and the onion bagel from the kosher place down the street from my house when I lived in the city

#in which cate tells stories #that!!!! sandwich!!!!!! #spicy chicken breast with fresh mozzarella red onions and pesto on a ciabatta roll #I’ve tried to recreate it and I CAN’T #I don’t know what spice mix they used but DAMN #and nobody’s pesto was better than theirs #so much good food at that job tbh #the chef liked cooking for me because I was always so thrilled with whatever he did #he made ricotta gnocchi once??? it was THE BEST EVER #and lobster ravioli? that wasn’t even on the MENU we were both just there late at night and he made it for himself and gave me some #his greens and beans were also perfect #but I especially miss that sandwich #I ate that almost every day that summer

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

multishipping

#wintersberg #mithan #winterfield #lethan #sorry lethan community #i made like 3 AUs and drew them for like a month straight and then never did again #i have no one to talk to about it im sorry 😭😭 #the ship i draw depends on how much i think about it #heraxic makes me want to draw wintersberg so now im drawing them alot.... #i ship ethan with everyone #sorry i just like it when he is loved #ethan is my barbie and all the other characters r kens #i switch them out every now and then but ethan is always the constant

[bpdohwhatajoy]

My one abusive ex fp fucking told someone I used his trauma to manipulate him LMFAO what is with abusers lying about you to make you look bad when it’s THEM doing the shit to you. Like this motherfucker is the one I opened up about my past abusive relationships which led to me developing cptsd and he’s the one who used MY TRAUMA AGAINST ME. It makes me sick to my stomach the narratives abusers say about their victims to make it seem like they were the victim.

#ryan.txt #bpd #borderline personality disorder #ex fp #I’m getting revenge on him FUCK HIM #scum fuck #he did so much to me #he put me in the worst period in my life #and yet he has the audacity to say that #hope he dies #also he DOESNT EVEN HAVE TRAUMA. #I’m so done.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

some misc Barn & Wally doodles from the past week or so <3 i heart them

#i read 'barnaby bites wally out of affection' exactly Once and it imprinted in my brain forever #its so damn cute... what the fuck... who authorized that.... #one thing about me: yes i Will exaggerate size differences. no im Not sorry #listen one thing i love more than the big guy & their lil buddy dynamic #is big guy & their lil buddy 'rough-housing' #where it looks vicious but the big guy is actually being so so gentle and careful <3 #it kills me every time!!! #AND THESE TWO ARE PERFECT FOR BOTH BABEYYYYYY #the bestiessssss themmmmm them them them #i have so many thoughts / feelings about them and many of them Directly Conflict <3 #scribble salad #welcome home #wait when. when did i start drawing barnaby so damn much #every other scribble is Him #uh oh! looks like hes Blorbo!!! #anyhow sometimes i sit on doodles for Days and Days #until it occurs to me that hey. i can post these #i havent been scribbling much bc ive been chipping away at comms when i have the free time to do Art #the only non-comm stuff have been silly warmups riperoni #BUT! AHA! last week's me (early this week???) was in their Barnaby & Wally feels!!! #providing current me with Crumbs to post!

[darkeneddawning]

Escaped clone au

You know all those fics where Danny and Damian are twins but everyone first assumes Danny must be a clone? How about an au where Danny is Damian's clone who escaped the League after he was assumed dead. Damian could even have been the one to have "killed" him, back when Danny was a newly created, fully brainwashed clone minion and trying to kill Damian himself.

Danny gets adopted by the Fentons and canon goes on as normal, until Dan. Witnessing what would happen to the world should he turn evil really drove home to Danny how dangerous he is.

Even if he was confident he could be trusted with his absurd amount of power (which he isn't), what if the League of Assassins found out about him? Does he still have programming triggers from his evil assassin clone conditioning?

So, Danny does the responsible thing: he goes to Batman to turn himself in.

Cue Danny showing up on Bruce's doorstep with ghost hunting equipment, intel on the afterlife, and an almost unbelievable backstory. Somehow he still managed to be more well-adjusted than Damian.

More thoughts under the read more

Here's how I'm thinking Danny leaving the League went down:

After surviving his wounds but failing his mission, Danny (then an unnamed potential Damian replacement) knew there was no point in returning to the League. As a failure, he was meant to be disposed of. He even thought of simply allowing himself to perish, since that was what the League would do.

But he couldn't help but feel as though that would be a waste of a resource. Surely he could be of more use to the League alive than dead?

That tiny bit of rebellious logic is what caused Danny to go into hiding, only living on based on the off chance he would find opportunities to further the League's goals. Obviously, that mentality didn't last long after being exposed to the real world and meeting one Jazz Fenton.

Being adopted by the Fentons was the best cover Danny could have asked for, since any odd behavior he couldn't hide while he was learning how to be "normal" was totally overshadowed by the sheer bizarre eccentricity of his new parents. He was still the neighborhood weird kid, but even that was a major upgrade from disposable tool, so Danny considered it a win.

Anyway, if anyone likes this idea, please feel free to have at it! Interpret it as you please :)

#dpxdc #dpxdc prompts #dawningwrites #Danny: I'm too powerful help please accept this 10 step guide that MIGHT give you a prayer of defeating me #Bruce: and you're saying that on top of all your potentially apocalyptic abilities you're also the ruler of another dimension?? #Danny: I know right?? they wouldn't listen to me when I said a teenager wasn't qualified. and technically I'm only 5 years old! #Danny's better adjusted than Damian bc he had Jazz to help him #and he didn't have to be anything other than a “normal” teen until his accident #whereas Damian had a bunch of traumatized and emotionally stunted vigilantes with a complicated family dynamic he walked into #Alfred did his best but there was only so much he could do without undermining Bruce or interfering with their vigilantism #Dan happened before Dani so she might not be in this (yet) #but if Danny's clones are still a thing I think he'd be even more traumatized by most of them melting #Dani: you don't know what it's like to be made by a rich supervillain to replace your original and then be discarded as a failure #Danny: ha ha so funny story #damian wayne #damian al ghul

[petorahs]

#dont even get me started on the cat/animal symbolism in Aeon Social Link #anyway. all this to say that though hes designed and shown to be a sadboy #i think Minato was happy at the end :) thats all that matters to me #persona 3 reload #makoto yuki #persona 3 #minato arisato #p3 #p3re #p3p #aishi.docx #my favorite character who's meant to be a silent protagonist but says so much through actions...... #i love him so much. #this game quite literally changed my life idk how it did it #so efficiently

[ruporas]

the song of humanity will continue to be sung

#vash the stampede #trigun #trigun stampede #he means so much to me he means sooooo much i love him so much asfuahghdsgnkdsgk #VASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i posted it on twit but i was REALLY dreading ep 11 bc i figured that vash might cry #but instead he screamt into agony in which i cant even rewatch the episode #bc the va did such a good fucking job in conveying that terror and grief and guilt and it fucks me up so bad #vash makes me sad in EVERY adaption but stampede is like #we've only seen him be kind. he's just nice. he's serious and he's nice and he's kind. he treats everyone with so much delicateness and care #and the only time he raises his voice is for the protection of others and warning them #and now he's rung the wranger and i now have a hammer to knives' side #not even trying to be dramatic its just been awhile since a character has mattered to me in this kind of way #ruporas art

[meru90]

hc that haitham was a lil blushy mess😣and then 🗿🗿

#genshin impact #haikaveh #genshinimpact #Alhaitham #kaveh #fanart #they make me go crazy #genshin fanart #its just the angst made them so much tastier #AND TO THINK HAITHAM IS THE ONE PINING FOR YEARS OOOFF #HE JUST DOESNT KNOW HOW TO SHOW HIS LOVE #AND EVEN IF HE DID KAVEH WOULD NOT BELIVE IT #SMART IDIOTS #i mean if you look hard you can clearly see how he has a soft spot for kaveh my boy open ur eyes

[eternallovers65]

Moments in Charles Leclerc that are so insane I wish I made it up but can't, because this stuff can only happen to him

- When his watch got stolen and he decided to CHASE the guy with his custom ferrari 488 pista

- When his former girlfriend got locked out of the apartment and he wasn't answering his phone so she had to subscribe to his Twitch channel to tell him to open the door (please watch his former streams I beg)

- When he crashed Niki Lauda's 1974 ferrari during the Monaco historic grand Prix (his luck I swear)

- Every Monaco Grand Prix ever (the infamous charles leclerc curse)

- When he went to dinner with a guy, posted the picture on Instagram and it turns out it was an international criminal wanted by the Interpol

- He went to a restaurant once, handed his car to the valet and the car was out of fuel

- When he went for a run, took some photos with fans and this couple started to fight in front of him

- When he didn't realized his tiktok likes were open to the public (it was mostly fan edits of himself, baby goats, babies but mostly fan videos about himself)

- Recently, he dropped his airpods in the airport floor and decided to use this gigantic clamp to get it back

- Or just his babygirl esque nature (i love him <3)

- He accepted a ride from two strangers just because he couldn't find a cab (Arthur was also in the car!!!)

(Also, feel free to add more, please, and every time he does something so charles, i will uptade the list)

#he's so dumb i love him #idk felt the need to tell you bitches how much i love this idiot of a man #also because i saw the video of him catching the airpods and said it out loud 'stuff that could only happen with charles' #anyway this man isnt real and i love this stories so much like its so unhinged #also guys if anyone knows who did this edit please let me know i got from twitter a long tkme ago and idk who made it #charles leclerc you will always be famous #f1 #charles leclerc #scuderia ferrari