#he gets bitches

[reallybadblackoutpoems]

tweet (2022) - joseph robinette biden jr

“hoes mad”

#joe biden #tweet #hoes mad #roommate got a mystery poster #at a sale #and its fucking kramer from seinfeld #as an oil painting #its so fucking funny #joe biden pulls #he gets bitches #anyway #blackout poem #blackout poetry #author #book #poetry

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

How could a horse in rdr2 not calm down when Arthur says "Easy, easy" like

Bitch

If i was a horse

I'd be side eyeing that man

"You get a lotta bitches dont you?"

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #come on y'all #you know its true #like #he gets bitches #even the horses know

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

I see some people on here that think Sebek WOULDN’T mention Malleus all of the time if he were in a relationship or started crushing on someone. Unfortunately, I must disagree. Malleus is a major part of his life and I do not think Sebek would change THAT much just because of a relationship.

There is not a single Sebek vignette in which Sebek does not mention Malleus in some way at least once. I doubt there is more than maybe, at most, being generous, a few moments where Sebek makes a cameo in any of the stories (main story, other characters’ vignettes, events, literally anywhere Sebek shows up even for a moment) without some mention of Malleus from him. He has a portrait of Malleus in his room. He tells us that Malleus is his main motivation for everything he does. I have no doubt that in canon, Malleus is on his mind 24/7.

#even in a relationship Sebek would still #think about Malleus a lot #SEBEK CAN TREASURE BOTH MALLEUS AND HIS BELOVED AND THATS OKAY #that's how normal (though you can't really consider sebek's hero worship of malleus normal now can you) relationships work!!! #not talking about just romantic relationships btw. this post is not sebek x malleus this post is #sebek zigvolt #sebek #twisted wonderland #HE LITERALLY BRIBED JAMIL GRIM AND YUU INTO LETTING HIM INFODUMP ABOUT MALLEUS TO THEM!!!! #WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE'D FORGET SO MUCH ABOUT MALLEUS IN THE HIGHLY UNLIKELY SCENARIO IN WHICH #HE GETS BITCHES #anyway tl;dr sebek can care deeply about both malleus and his hypothetical partner. it ain't mutually exclusive it's just normal #to not forget about people once you start dating #dammit sebek has a bit of loser energy and that's okay!! the whole cast has a bit of loser energy

[ask-the-charming-siblings]

He just does

#he gets bitches #he do #also you can't see but that is a merry men band shirt #Sparrow won't stop sending them to Dex so he just sleeps in them after rigorous testing #ever after high #Dexter Charmng #darling charming #charming twins

[jayssafespace]

Marlene: Can you teach me how to hoe?

Remus: Rude

Remus: *sips Firewhisky*

Remus: But yes

#marauders #marlene mckinnon #remus lupin #remus casanova of gryffindor lupin #he gets bitches #marlene wants them too

[pomegranatebat]

I have been needing some help getting my creative juices flowing... does anyone have aome arcane headcannons they want to see me do? This doesnt just apply to silco lmao

#ill go first #i think heimerdinger is a hoe #he gets bitches #arcane #pom asks #headcanon

[sighed-the-snake]

Aziraphale was such a little bastard (/affectionate) for giving Jim hot cocoa to drink when he knew his old boss's opinion on sullying the temple of his body with "gross matter."

He did the same thing with Muriel, offered them tea knowing what they probably thought of it and then amiably watched them to see what they would do with it.

He's gone rogue, people. He's corrupting Heaven one politely offered hot beverage at a time.

#good omens #good omens meta #Aziraphale is That Bitch #Heaven will overflow with mugs and tea cups as he slowly gets the angels addicted to PG Tips

[pregnantsecondo]

Been playing outer worlds a lot so I've made a. Space cowboy oc.

#not an outer worlds oc. just yknow. inspired by it #anyway he falls in love with his ship 👍 #also an alien too #he gets bitches

[irn-bru]

my genuine reaction watching batman beat the ever loving fuck out of Jason in under the red hood when the only other batfam media I know is wayne family adventures

#im aware wfa is fanmade but like. i had severe delusions of bruce's ability as a dad #he threw him face first against all four walls and then the TOILET. die you bitch!!! #lego batman wouldnt have done this #im trying to get into more dc especially batman/batfam. im not really into comics and i prefer animation #but if anyone wants to send some recs my way id really appreciate it. especially some where bruce is nice!! #jason todd #red hood #batman #under the red hood #dc #beth.txt

[jakeperalta]

keep seeing "taylor hates matty just like us!!" like.. she hates him because he broke her heart I hate him because he is a legitimately garbage person we are not the same

#she has made it plenty clear that she has never cared at all about the things he gets criticised for (and if anything she liked it!) #it's a shame but daddy i love him goes so hard because i'm vibing having a great time #and then i'm like hang on she's calling me a judgemental creep/viper for bitching and moaning.... #talking #taylor swift

[goddessclarabelle]

I hope you've been practicing... 😳

#peg me please #he gets pegged #sissy pegged #men gets pegged #strappon #virgin loser #small penis size #humiliating kink #beta bitch #beta sub #cuckcold #cucklife #permanent slave #locked and denied #money slave #femaledominant #female dominance #dominated slave #domminatrix #financial dominance

[myiliterallyhavenolifegoals]

i'm unwell!!! because in stede's eyes, ned low was right!! ned says "he [ed] only likes you because of your bumbling amateur status" and calls stede blackbeard's "pet" just like izzy did in series 1

so stede steps up as a captain, kills the man who harmed his crew, and suddenly, for once in stede's life, he isn't a joke! the gentleman pirate is taken seriously and welcomed into the pirate community!

and what happens less than 24 hours later? ed calls their night together a mistake, AND LEAVES.

yes, obviously the situation is more nuanced, and these old men are once again struggling to communicate, but i 100% understand why stede went a bit of the rails at the end of episode 7. stede's been so focused on trying to help ed, that he's completely ignored his own ongoing identity crisis and trauma, and after the incident at the academy in series 1, this meltdown was long overdue.

#yes he's being a bitch but it's IN CHARACTER #just because you don't agree with his actions doesn't make it bad writing guys c'mon it's good omens 2 all over again #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #stede bonnet #ed x stede #rhys darby #i'm a stede apologist first and a homie second i'm sorry lmaoo #i got so excited when i saw the flashback to him as a little boy bc finally!!! stede's trauma gets to be addressed!!! #edit: HE SLEPT WITH ED TO TAKE THE POISON AND TURN IT INTO POSITIVITY WAIT A SECOND WAIT A FUCKING SECOND

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

Had this Headcannon that when Multi-Lingual Dick and Jason get drunk they start singing Ballads in Spanish. Yeah some classical shit like Vicente Fernandez but also the most wild Selena you've ever heard.

#is this a post about Latinx Jason todd? Bitch it might be #Don't ask me about it tho cuz I'll deny it to my core #I imagine jason drunk off his ass belting No Me Queda Mas like he fuckin wrote the song #Dick's got Como la Flor Energy but he has ugly Sobbed NMQS too #they are so infamous for their drunk spanish ballads that they actually rub off on TIm #imagine young justice suprise when the whitest kid you've ever seen wasted on 7/11 liquor is hiccuping his way through a selena song #worst accent you've ever heard sounds like a dog from New Jersey learning to bark and yet the emotion is kinda on point #TIm denies it #refuses to believe he has ever done it #Dick and Jason get a copy of the video and someone edits a mash up of all three of them warble singing that banger #anyway this was a nothing post of nothing I made for myself #fr just for me #DC #Batman #Batfam #Jason todd #Tim drake #Dick Grayson

[ew-selfish-art]

DpxDc AU - If his parents are going to treat him like a punk, he might as well lean into it. 

Danny is getting seriously worn down by his parents constantly asking him to explain why he’s gone all the time and why his grades have slipped so far. I mean, sure, it took them months to notice, but now that they have, they’re alluding to the fact that he’s turned into some kind of punk and that he’s not taking life as seriously as he should be. This is what makes Danny kind of snap. 

He cuts his hair, gets Sam to pierce his ears in a few places (which sucked but was nice to catch up with her since Team Phantom didn’t get out much anymore), learns how to skateboard and gets Tuck to help him mask his identity on the internet as he begins online protesting the unethical treatment of ghosts. He makes picket signs that he leaves outside of Fentonworks and it takes days before his parents see them because they’re down in the lab. They go back up immediately after his parents take them down, and he begins tagging buildings with protest sayings and art all over amity park.

No matter how they ground him, the Drs Fenton are at a loss as to what to do to control Danny. Jazz says it’s not her place to interfere and is cheering her little brother on for being passionate about a new hobby. 

Danny’s honestly really vibing with the changes. He always understood why Sam wanted control over her own look, but he’s really leaning into the whole shebang. Ember and Johnny13 have never bonded over anything more than they have the punk transformation of their King. He’s really representing them fr fr- she taught him how to play the bass. 

With enough protests about the Anti-Ecto acts, the JL step in and begin their efforts to lobby change within the US government. Constantine is up to date on the new King being from Earth and thinks they might be able to weasel out a non-apocalyptic scenario if they reach out sooner than later. A letter gets sent through the infinite realms (No way in fuck was John going to try and summon a fucking King excuse you Bats)- Danny gets the letter and decides to let them sweat a bit, sending back his own letter that just says “K.” cause he’s learned that adults/authority figures all suck ass until proven otherwise. After a few days, a portal opens up in the middle of their meeting. 

Ghost King Phantom is rolling in on a skateboard, with the Ring of rage dangling from one of his ear piercings and ice crown floating above his head. He’s drinking an off brand smoothie, wearing a leather jacket that has medieval chainmail on it over his now distressed hazmat suit and his boots steel toed.

“...Sup. Y’all want to do something about this whole situation? I’m an all or nothing kind of guy.” Danny greets them. He means that he’s willing to be diligent in his efforts to disbar the Acts. It gets interpreted as him threatening to end the world, ofc, but that’s an issue he has to deal with later. 

“King Phantom we have been working daily to-” 

“Uh huh. Look, didn’t you guys have like a teenage group? I want to work with them, they’ll probably actually help me get shit done while you fuck around with paper work.” 

#the most punk thing you can do is protest #dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dc crossover #dp crossover #danny phantom #dc universe #young justice crossover #danny doesnt want to work with the authorities but is willing to work with YJ #Tim drake gets a new skateboarding buddy #danny's skateboard is kind of cheating tho cause he and it can float #kon is always down to take down a government sponsored org that does unethical research #cassie just wants to fight for him and fix his fashion choices #bart recognizes him from the speedforce and they bond over time being a fake ass bitch #i just wanted the funny visual of danny skateboarding into a meeting on the watchtower

[vaguely-concerned]

one of my favorite garak mannerisms is whenever someone says something to him he clearly finds completely wild and his eyes briefly widen like

before he reacts properly. when someone tells you something SO fucking stupid that you momentarily turn into a muppet

#elim garak #star trek #star trek ds9 #ds9 #it's why he has to throw people off by presenting too much and conflicting information rather than pure poker face #because for all his training I'm not sure he's physically capable of controlling this reaction whenever dukat opens his mouth #the bitch reflex that cannot be tamed #it's that and the sort of unhinged laughter he'll get startled into sometimes. just. so much. makes my brain go 'fhdskjfsha'