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rvp32 · 2 years

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Prison break- ITZY (Chaeryeong)

Chaeryeong hated Monday mornings, it was the worst day of the week. Chaeryeong also hated it because of college, Chaeryeong wasn’t the regular popular kid. Chaeryeong was hated by a lot of people and constantly bullied but Chaeryeong never did anything to them even though Chaeryeong knew that she could beat them up, Chaeryeong did not want to get in any trouble because of my parents so she never did anything to them and took their beating without saying a thing.

Chaeryeong had a step-brother, he was a sweet guy and the only person she loved and cared for in her entire family. He was frail and had a small body frame but he was very smart, so smart that he was ranked in the top 10 for overall scores in the university. He deeply cared for Chaeryeong as well, and we were very close so close that some people even mistook us for a couple. To Chaeryeong’s knowledge he lived a pretty decent life, he didn’t smoke, drink, or do drugs and he had a good group of friends.

One day, Chaeryeong was walking by his building to go to my class, Chaeryeong heard someone screaming so Chaeryeong wanted to see what was going on, Chaeryeong was shocked to find that my brother was being beaten up by 3 people who were asking him for his money and also demanding that he steal some of my panties and give it to them. Chaeryeong was furious at this sight so Chaeryeong screamed saying “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE DOING???!”.

This caused the 3 guys to turn around to look at me. Chaeryeong walked toward them and punched one of them in the face this caused a brawl to break out and Chaeryeong was beating their asses without even getting hit by them. 2 of them fainted but the last guy would not shut up he constantly kept talking shit about my brother and also me, he was saying disgusting things like “why are you beating us up? Why do you have to guard your brother does he not have the balls to fight us? That weak-ass mother fucker who can do nothing but hide behind his step-sister’s back. I am pretty sure that this weak fucker still sucks on his mom’s tits because of how dependent he is”.

His last statement set Chaeryeong off and she pushed him down to the ground and continuously punched his face even after he lost consciousness. Chaeryeong was stopped by some random people, the guy was bleeding so badly and he must have had some broken bones.

After this, the cops came to my house and took me to the police station, Chaeryeong believed that she was not in the wrong and that she should not have to pay for any of the damages. The guy that he got beaten up was the son of a famous politician so this caused his parents to bribe the judges and Chaeryeong was jailed for 4 years for attempted murder and assault. Chaeryeong’s parents did not even appoint a lawyer to help her with this because they decided that they are no longer associated with Chaeryeong so they disowned her and she was left to deal with this all by herself so she ended up in prison.

The prison was not a pretty place, it had people who had committed horrible crimes, crimes that would make people puke just from hearing about them so Chaeryeong needed to become stronger and build some friendships so that she doesn’t get bullied like she did when she was in college. The first thing that Chaeryeong had to do when she entered the prison was that she was told to strip and give away all of her belongings, they then took pics of Chaeryeong holding a board with her name and a number, but they did not let her put her clothes back on while they did this but she had no choice to obey them because they were the ones in power right now.

Chaeryeong was sent to her room and she was staying with four other girls, she did not say anything to them and just went to her bed. One of the girls came up to her and introduced herself by saying “hi, I am Yuna what is your name?”

They got close over the next few weeks. One day during lunch, a woman walks up to Chaeryeong and took Chaeryeong’s plate, and emptied the food onto the floor. This pissed off Chaeryeong and now that she decided to never be disrespected she got up and punched the woman’s face, this caused a mass fight to break out in prison. There were many people trying to attack Chareyeong and beat her up but she tried her best to defend herself, she was getting tired and did not know how much longer she could keep it up but to her surprise she found her roommates fighting with her, and defending her. The brawl was stopped by the prison guards and Chaeryeong, her roommates along with some other prisoners were thrown into isolation cells.

All of them did not know how long they would be stuck there, after the first day Chaeryeong decided to break the silence and scream to ask the other 4 people why did they join the fight when they knew that there would be consequences. One of them replied saying “We know that you are a good person, we have been observing you since the time you entered our room, throughout the entire time you did nothing that would bother us and you never caused trouble, so we decided that it was in our best interest to help you when you were so badly outnumbered”.

Chaeryeong felt touched because this is the first time that someone actually stood up for her and defended her so Chareyeong replied by saying “thank you so much for defending me I really mean it, you guys defended me but I don't know your names so could you please introduce yourselves. The 3 girls introduced themselves and Yuna said, “you know my name already”. The names of her roommates are Lia, Yeji, Ryujin, and Yuna.

Timeskip

4 years have already passed and now Chaeryeong was going to be released, she was sad to a certain extent because she did not want to leave Yeji, Lia, Ryujin, and Yuna because they became like a family to her but luckily for her, they were going to get released in 2 months so she planned to come back to the prison to meet them when they are released. When Chaeryeong was released there was no one waiting for her, she was sad to see this because she was hoping that her parents had finally forgiven her and that she could go back to living her normal life. Chaeryeong took a cab to her home and was surprised to find that her family still lived in the same house because after them not coming to pick her up she had assumed that they would have moved to a different city or a country to completely sever ties with her. Chaeryeong walked to the front door and rang the doorbell.

A handsome muscular man opened the door, the man looked very shocked to see Chaeryeong at the door and as soon as they broke out of his trans he immediately hugged Chareyeong. This sudden act of skinship shocked Chaeryeong and confused her because she did not know the man that was hugging her. After he moved away from Chaeryeong he said: “Noona, you are finally back I have been waiting for you, I wanted to come to pick you up but I did not know which prison you were in”.

Chaeryeong looked at her step-brother and started to tear up she hugged him “I can’t believe it is really you, I have missed you so much, you have changed so much I didn’t recognize you at all.” Chaeryeong says

“Yeah I did, I did not want to get beat up ever again and I want to be the one to protect you”. - Step-brother replies

Chaeryeong moves into the house and looks around feeling nostalgic. She turns to her brother “I know that they left but I was wondering what happened and how are you still able to keep this house and how are you doing?” Chaeryeong says

He turns around and walks closer to Chaeryeong, now they are so close that Chaeryeong’s tits are basically pressed up against her step-brother's chest and he says “I am a millionaire business entrepreneur Noona, my net worth is over 150 million dollars, I have enough money for anything that you want to do Noona, you don’t have to work anymore”

Chaeryeong is so happy that her step-brother is successful but she feels that she will be a burden on him so she says “don’t worry I can take care of me and I don’t want to drag you or your business down just because you are associated with me so I will leave after I find another place to stay”.

He holds Chaeryeong’s chin and makes her stare into his eyes and says “Noona, I have missed you so much and there is no way that you will leave I don’t care if I lose everything, I just need you”.

Chaeryeong pushes him away “don’t joke but I am really thankful for you I mean it.

Chaeryeong’s brother took her to her room and showed her that it was left exactly as the last time she saw it. She was very surprised that the room was exactly how she had last seen it. Her step-brother leaves Chaeryeong to herself because he knows that she is going to need some time with herself, to grasp the situation and finally come to terms with it. After Chaeryeong finished looking around she goes for a shower. She takes a nice hot shower, bathes in her citrus-scented body wash, and just lets her body relax under all the hot water. She walks out of the shower feeling very relaxed and goes to her old closet to get some clothes to put on, she picks out a loose crop top that she loved, also a pair of shorts, a bra, and panties. She tries to put on a bra but to her disappointment, the bra no longer fits her because her boobs had gotten bigger so decides to just put on the crop top without a bra for now. She tries to put on her panties but she notices that she is facing the same problem as her ass had gotten bigger from all the workouts that she did in prison so she skips that and put on her shorts but since her ass had gotten bigger she could no longer fit in them as well so she just put on one of her old skirts and walked out to the kitchen.

As Chaeryeong walks to the kitchen to get some food as she was very hungry she notices that her brother is cooking some Kimchi-fired rice for her, so sits at the counter near the kitchen, while looking at her step-brother as he cooks. Her step-brother turns around and is startled by Chaeryeong’s sudden appearance, this causes Chaeryeong to burst out in laughter and this embarrasses her step-brother

“I did not hear a single sound. How long have you been here?” He says

“I got here a few minutes ago so do not worry, yeah it is a habit that I picked up when I was in prison, sorry if that creeps you out. I can announce myself every time I enter a room if you want.” Chaeryeong says

“You do not have to do something so stupid and it is also my fault because I have been living alone for such a long time that it is different for me to have someone here,” he says

He continues to cook the rice while watching him cook Chaeryeong realizes that her brother had ignored the question about her parents when they spoke so she wanted to ask again because she was very curious as to why they left but her step-brother is still living here.

“Hey, tell me something where are our parents? Why did they leave and how come they did not take you with them?” Chaereyong says

“I really did not want to talk about this, they left because they no longer wanted to be known as the parents of a criminal, they initially took me with them as well and I had no choice but to follow because I did not have enough money”. Her step-brother says

“You left with them but why are you back here? How is everything the exact same?” - Chaeryeong asks.

“After we left this house, nobody wanted to buy it so it was just left like this. One year after you went to prison I started my company, within 2 months it took off and I finally had enough money so I left them and bought this house from the real estate agent” her step-brother replies.

Hearing this made Chaeryeong feel appreciated so she walked up to him and hugged him tightly and mumbled something that no one could understand, her brother suddenly pushes her away and looks at her from top to bottom.

“Noona, are you not wearing a bra? I could feel your nipples on my chest” - he says

Chaeryeong realizes what had just happened so she crosses her arms over her chest attempting to cover up her nipples, she is currently blushing because of what had happened and she walks behind the counter going back to where she was sitting.

“Yeah I am not wearing any right now because all my old ones do not fit me anymore, I tried putting it on but my boobs became a lot bigger than before so they were really tight and suffocating,” Chaeryeong says.

Hearing this her step-brother's cock got hard and threatened to burst out of his pants but Charyeong could not see this because he had already turned towards the stove to finish his cooking and plate it so that they both could eat it. After plating the rice he takes another pan to make the eggs that he was planning to place on top. By this time his boner had gone down so he picked up the plate of fried rice and egg, and placed it in front of Chareyeong for her to eat. Looking at the food, Chaeryeong’s mouth started to water because for the first time in 4 years she was going to have a home-cooked meal and some good food that she actually liked.

She waited for her step-brother to finish making his plate as well so that they could eat together, Chaeryeong also suggested that they should watch a new movie or Kdrama because she wants to catch up with them, her step-brother agrees and they sit down in front of the TV. Chaereyong decided that she wants to watch Nevertheless which is Kdrama. After Chaeryeong and her step-brother finished eating, he took the plate to wash them and also clean up the kitchen, by the time he got back Chaeryeong had fallen asleep on the couch, he went to his room to get a blanket to put over her because she must be cold.

He got the blanket from his room and was about to put it on Chaereyong when he noticed that Chaereyong’s pussy was visible, this caused his dick to get hard, he was so tempted to lie down and start eating her pussy and do so much more to her but he decided against it do he put the blanket over her and went to the washroom to calm himself down. After he calmed down he went to the kitchen where he placed his laptop and began doing his company work.

After an hour, while he continued working Chaeryeong began to moan in her sleep. At first, he thought that it was because she was having nightmares but once he got closer to her the moans sounded very erotic and this set him off again, this time instead of backing out he sat down next to Chaeryeong and started to slowly play with her pussy, seeing that Chaeryeong has not reacted or woken up from this he continued to do so but he got greedy and wanted to taste Chaeryeong.

He tried to spread her legs but this woke Chaereyong up she was shocked as to what was going on but she did not say anything and acted like she was still asleep. He was able to spread her legs and began eating Chaeryeong out. Chaeryeong was trying her best not to moan out loud but she was enjoying it so much and she was so close to her release. When he flicked her clit with his tongue it finally sent Chaeryeong over her edge and she squirted hard. When she was coming down from her high she heard something that sent chills down her spine,

“Noona, until when are you going to pretend that you are asleep, get up and I will fuck you until you won’t be able to walk for another week but if you do not want that just continue to pretend that you are sleeping, and we can forget this ever happened,” he says.

Chaeryeong is wondering what she should do because if she does get up then her relationship with her step-brother will no longer be the same as it once was but a part of her mind really wanted to get up so that she could finally get fucked by him and enjoy laying in his arms without caring about anything else.

The side that wanted to get up had won, Chaeryeong sat up and looked into her step-brother’s eyes and said “Fuck me like you mean it, fuck me so hard that my pussy only becomes the shape of your dick, use my, use all of my holes, and make me yours”.

This set him off, he grabbed Chaeryeong and made it so that she was sitting on his lap. He looked her in the eyes and Chaeryeong’s eyes were filled with lust, she was basically begging. He chokes her and says “show me how much you want it?”.

Chaeryeong was so wet that she started to stain her step-brother's shorts, after hearing what he said she began to grind her pussy on his thighs,

“I want it so badly please, I need your cock in me please,” Chaeryeong says

He then shoves a finger into her very wet pussy which causes Chaeryeong to release a whine, he responds by adding 2 more fingers and this causes Chaeryeong’s eyes to widen. He continues to finger her as Chaeryeong’s moans grow louder and more frequently.

“I’m so close, please don’t stop. I’M GOING TO CUM SO FUCKING HARD,” Chaeryeong says

Just as she is about to cum he pulls out all his fingers which causes Chaeryeong to try and protest but her mind is in haze from almost cumming. He then pushes her onto the couch and takes out his cock placing it in front of Chaeryeong’s

“I can’t wait anymore, my cock is so fucking hard right now. I’m going to put it in now.” He says

“Yes, shove that cock into my pussy and fuck me please,” Chaeryeong says

He slowly pushes his cock into Chaeryeong’s pussy, she gasps when she feels his length, she already feels full from his dick. She still feels him pushing into her.

“Are you in completely yet? It is so big,” Chaeryeong says

“Noona, I’m only half in. It’s okay relax it will feel better” he says

Chaeryeong nods and tries to relax as he fills her up even more and reaches places that have never been touched before. Her moans turn into groans as she feels a little bit of pain. Chaeryeong feels it stop going deeper.

“I am completely in, I’m going to wait for a little so that you can adjust to this size,” he says

“You can move slowly, I think it feels better now” Chaeryeong replies

He continues to fuck her slowly, she starts to moan at the feeling better, after Chaeryeong adjusted to the size she began to try and match his movements such that she could feel it more. Noticing this he starts to move faster and harder causing Chaeryong to moan loudly. This continued for a few more minutes and Chareyong felt a knot forming in her stomach. He felt Chaeryeong tighten around him and increased his pace such that the was basically ramming into her like a machine.

“I’m going to cum, please do not stop keep going, I’m so fucking close. Yes, yes, yes” Chaeryeong says

She cums so hard that her body begins to shake and her eyes roll back. As she continued to ride her orgasm out she was mumbling incoherently, this raised a little concern for Chaeryeong’s step-brother because he thought that he might have fucked Chaeryeong’s brains out.

“Noona are you fine? Did I really just fuck your brains out just from one round? We are going to be doing this the entire night so tomorrow morning I might end up with a mind-broken slut” he says

After a few seconds, Chaeryeong is finally able to talk after being fucked to oblivion. Chaeryeong replies to her step-brother by saying “Keep going I want to become YOUR cock loving slut, fuck me so much that all I can think about is your cock”

Sometime during their sex, they had moved to the bedroom. They continued to fuck till sunrise, they had to end their session because Chaeryeong had passed out from experiencing an extreme amount of pleasure. Chaereyong was lying beside her brother with her pussy leaking with cum and completely passed out.

This night of amazing pleasure for both of them had changed their relationship forever but in a positive way for them.

#itzy smut #chaeryeong smut

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takusan-no-ai · 1 year

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Memory Loss

PAIRING: Freya x Male Reader, Kratos/Heimdall/Thor/Baldur x Female Reader (Romantic) (Separate)

SUMMARY: A jealous rival curses their lover, (Y/N), with memory loss.

As the goddess of Beauty, Freya is admired by many men. However, you were the one that stole her heart. She’d never met a man like you before, and you were a major upgrade from Odin.

You were everything she could hope for: kind, dependable, and most of all, loving. You always tried to help her and Baldur mend their relationship; you even spent whole days with Baldur to try and earn his respect.

And even when Kratos and Atreus killed her son, you stuck with her every step of the way. You didn’t stop her from getting revenge, but you did consult with her about how it hurt you to see her so depressed. Freya could go on and on about how much you complete her.

That was until the curse. A man who Freya had already rejected centuries ago still wouldn’t let up. He sent her all kinds of gifts. But when he found out that Freya was not only in love with, but also marrying you, he flipped.

Sending her sacks full of mistletoe as a way to hurt her. Defacing her house with blood. Even destroying the wildlife and animals. It got so bad that Freyr had to knock some sense into the guy, banishing him away from Vanaheim.

Freya didn’t tell you. She feared you’d run away, wether in a noble pursuit to protect her or out of fear, she didn’t care. She’s a powerful goddess, so she assumed if anything serious did happen, she could just fix it. Freya never suspected that man would curse you with memory loss.

She attacked him the moment she found out, threatening him to tell her the cure. He didn’t though, determined to hurt her husband. She keeps him as a prisoner, torturing him until he tells her how to fix you. As for you, Freya just tries to start over with you.

She’ll tell you that you’re both married, and that you’ve lost your memory. She has a hard time adjusting to treating you less like a lover and more like a friend for your own comfort. Either way, Freya will stay with you so long as you’re still capable of loving her again.

Kratos adores you. After Faye died, he wasn’t sure if he would ever love again. The sheer amount of people that hate him far outweigh the ones that don’t.

Kratos also didn’t want to push a new woman into Atreus’ life; the boy loves his mother and Kratos doesn’t want Atreus to think he’s replacing her.

Luckily, Atreus grows attached to you as well. He doesn’t quite see you as a new mother, but he welcomed you in with open arms. All was well, and Kratos had met someone else who didn’t see him as a monster.

It truly touched his heart to know that there are people out there who can like him. He didn’t expect for another woman to admire him though. By the time the two of you were married, some lady had started to stalk Kratos.

At first he could only feel eyes on him. But after a while he began to see a shadowy figure in the distance, and it looked to be a woman. He would sometimes see her looking at you or sneaking up to Atreus, and every time it only made Kratos more paranoid.

When the woman does curse you with memory loss, Kratos loses it. He has tried to hold back his rage for so long, but seeing a loved one of his get hurt so badly broke him.

He kills the woman in a fit of rage. And while he does regret not being able to control himself after the fact, he doesn’t regret killing her. Kratos will seek help from his friends to find a cure for your memory loss.

As for you, Kratos just tries to make you feel comfortable and happy. He debates wether he should tell you that you’re married to him, worried you might not believe him and run off. He will always love you though, and refuses to give up on you.

Heimdall values you as much as he values his position in Asgard, likely even more than that. Some even say that Heimdall likes you more than Odin himself. Heimdall denies this; not because it isn’t true, but because he doesn’t want Odin to find out.

Everyone would goad him about it. They all knew to not mess with you though. To Heimdall, you’re literally perfect, even if you’re covered head to toe in mud. If anyone ever thought of hurting his wife, they’d be dead.

You’re the only woman that has ever managed to stand his attitude and give it back enough to shock him. Most would either cower away or just try to fight him, inevitably losing to his foresight.

There was one woman that had an obsession with Heimdall. She just wouldn’t relent. No matter how cruel, indifferent, or just out right violent he was , she’d follow him. Heimdall couldn’t stand it, he didn’t want you to think he was letting this woman fawn over him.

She attacked you the moment Heimdall wasn’t there. Odin had sent him away on a errand and you were alone with the woman stalking you. She casted her curse of memory loss and when Heimdall returned, he was furious.

He found her easily and looked into her mind, trying to find the cure. He did find out what it was, however he had no idea where to find it nor how far it was. He tried to interrogate the woman, but to no avail; Heimdall killed her since she served no purpose anymore.

If Baldur is still alive then Heimdall will send him out to find the cure and bring it back. If not, then he’ll just send out a Valkyrie to find it. Heimdall won’t be the same until you’re back to normal.

Until you’re cured, Heimdall will spend most of his time reintroducing everything to you. He doesn’t rush back into a relationship with you and focuses on becoming close again to you.

Thor isn’t very well liked. The people that do like him either only use him or don’t know him well enough. He expected nothing else from you; Thor thought you’d be just like all the others.

And, naturally, you actually hated him at first. You told him right to his face everything about him that disgusted you. Thor was pissed off about you.

When he found out that Odin kept you around since you’re one of the most beautiful woman in all of Midgard, he felt hurt. It was like he was being controlled again.

He couldn’t even defend his own honor because of the All-Father. Color Thor surprised when you begin to be nice to him. He doesn’t trust you first, believing you’re just looking to use him.

When it turns out that your change in attitude is from seeing his relationship with his father, he felt a little seen. As the years went by Thor had trusted you more and even fell in love with you. The two of you married and you got along as good as one can with his family.

However, there was another woman. She’d been in love even back when he was with his first wife. But Thor always avoided her, going as far as killing her family just to send the message. Clearly it wasn’t enough because the woman cursed you.

Everyone thought you and Thor had divorced, confused as to why his wife was acting like she didn’t know him. Only the children of Odin, and Thor’s family, knew of your memory loss from the curse. Thor couldn’t even interrogate the woman for a cure because he killed her with a bolt of thunder.

He has his family searching for a cure, Odin only helping because he can’t use Thor if he’s all focused on you getting better. While they’re searching for a cure, you’ll be well taken cared of by Thor until you’re okay again.

Baldur has grown to know and love you over the years, trusting you with every fiber of his being. You never once gave up on him, and despite his curse, you never stopped loving him.

When you became his wife Baldur made an oath to forever and always love and protect you. He’d do anything for you, and he has been practicing to become a better person.

He’s working on his relationship with his mother, now being on talking terms at least. And he’s made a truce with Kratos. This was all obviously much to Odin’s dismay.

Now that Baldur has you he doesn’t feel the need to work under his father anymore. He’s always known that he was being used, but a small part of him has always had the hope that he’d feel again. Now that Baldur has you, he doesn’t care to be so obsessive with his curse anymore.

But another woman, someone who fell in love with Baldur after a night together far back, was furious. She wanted to be his wife! So she plotted to curse you with the help of a monster; that monster being Odin. Of course, the woman would take all the blame.

Baldur beat her to a pulp until she told him what the cure was. And he killed her afterwards in the mist of a blind rage. He never wanted this for you, his soulmate.

Baldur made it his mission to set out for however long until he could find you a cure. And he will. After all, he’s all of Asgard’s best tracker.

He leaves you with Kratos and the man’s family, making sure you’re in safe hands until he can fix you.

- Fin

#god of war x reader #headcanon #female reader #male reader #freya #freya x reader #kratos x reader #kratos #heimdall x reader #heimdall #thor x reader #thor #baldur x reader #baldur

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viatagrinner · 1 year

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Silvio Ricci. Both Endings Bonus. The path to favoritism. Part 1

Our days.

I've always been longing. Never in my life have I been able to quench that longing/tryst.

Drinking large quantities of alcohol and one-night stands serve only as a temporary distraction. How could this be cured? I thought long and hard about this method. I couldn't find a way.

Until I met this sweet and sassy woman.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Main Flashback. 3 years ago.

Prince Valerio is missing. Silvio looks at his other brother, Emidio.

(This guy... Did he set something up?)

Valerio has gotten involved with some dangerous business, and Emidio is acting suspiciously.

(Damn, I thought Emidio wouldn't catch him...)

King Alfio, their father, forms a search squad.

(Are you forming a search squad already?)

If Silvio or Emidio were missing, King Alfio would not even look for them.

The king asks his eldest sons about their involvement in Valerio's disappearance.

Emidio: I know nothing. What about you brother?

Silvio does not know either.

The King of Benitoite: ...There is no lie in these words, is there?

The King looked with a murderous gaze, like an enemy, not at the suspicious Emidio, but at his eldest son.

Silvio: Ha, you doubt me?

The King has already concluded.

(You're wrong, you old bastard.)

Emidio: But the one who is most pleased with Valerio's disappearance is my brother, right?

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Flashback in flashback:

It is a "celebration" of the death of Silvio and Emidio's mother, the queen, and a welcome to a new wife, Lydia.

Only Emidio, is sad about his mother.

Emidio: You are so good, Valerio.

Valerio: What do you mean?

Emidio: I don't even have to tell you, do I? It's just the way you wanted it to be.

Emidio: Aren't you happy, right?

Valerio: If I look happy, brother, you should have your eyes checked.

Silvio tells them to shut up. Emidio looks for support from his older brother, but finds none.

Emidio: You killed my mother, Valerio.

Silvio doesn't believe it. Their mother committed suicide. Realizing that Alfio might find out that she wanted to send him to Lydia, she chose death.

This is what Valerio, the man who learned the truth about the queen, said.

Silvio doesn't think this is a bad thing. Rather... if Valerio had not done it, he would have done it himself.

Emidio is outraged. Why protect their little brother?

Silvio: Valerio, you look sullen too. I get mad looking at you.

Valerio: So you wouldn't be sad if I smiled?

Silvio: ... Ah, still damn cheeky and refreshing.

Emidio: Brother, you are ridiculous. Valerio, I am not as kind as our brother.

Flashback in flashback is over.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Main Flashback. 3 years ago.

From that day on, Emidio became gloomy/spooky with Valerio.

The king wants to "talk" with Silvio alone. He doesn't mind. However...

Silvio: If you don't have time, don't waste it, go find Valerio.

King: Don't worry.

When the king winked, the royal guards waiting in the throne room surrounded the elder prince.

( ....The incompetent old geezer.)

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Main Flashback. 3 years ago.

Castle Prison.

Carlo, the squire and the prince's assistant came to the prison.

Carlo: ...Are you all right?

Silvio: Is that what "all right" looks like to you?

Carlo: Sorry! I'll take care of you right away.

The prince's body hurts. There's blood in his mouth.

Instead of interrogation, there was torture.

(It's more like he was trying to nail me than get information out of me.)

Helping the prince to remove his clothes, Carlo frowns. There is not a living thing on Silvio.

There are wounds and bruises all over his body. His clothes are stained with blood.

Carlo: .... Terrible.

Silvio: Not really. ....Even when I was a kid, I was beaten very badly in secret.

The king beat him. For his "bullying" of Valerio. But just remembering his miserable childhood, when he had no money and could not even buy love, makes Silvio sick.

Carlo: ...Why does the King hate Prince Silvio? For there is no proof!

Having smeared his wounds with the already familiar motion, for he has often been wounded during his maritime adventures, Silvio answers his assistant's question.

Silvio: It's common, isn't it?

Carlo: I don't understand, because the prince is a good man.

Silvio: Ha, dumbass. I don't think so.

Silvio: You're the only one who treats me like a "good person".

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Carlo is the prince's assistant and squire. They met ten years ago, when Silvio came to inspect the shipyard. Carlo was given out by other workers, and the prince protected him. Carlo has a brilliant mind. He is a scientist, an informer, an agent, etc.

Silvio often bullied Rio. And their father remembers it.

Silvio: Because I took away everything that was important to him.

But Emidio was even angrier.

Carlo asks about the reason for Valerio's hatred.

As a child, Valerio was loved by everyone, his father loved him, he had a loving mother.

Valerio's birth was a blessing to the Benitoites.

No one liked Silvio because of his character and the fact that he had no free time. His mother forced him to study.

It was all for the sake of her son's ascension to the throne... The king hated such an ambitious wife. And Silvio did not understand how such an evil woman could give birth to him.

But the prince did not say all this to his squire.

"Hated it, and that's all," was the prince's answer.

Carlo: But you get along now, don't you?

Silvio: ....Get along?

Silvio: ...We don't get along. I just don't have anything else to take from him.

Silvio: If he can do/get something important, I'll take it from him again.

Perhaps in the past the prince has done bad things because of hatred. Until there was a turning point.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Flashback in flashback:

Little Silvio couldn't figure out where his mother sometimes went in the middle of the night. One day he followed.

She had a meeting with a mercenary. He gave her some poison from Jade.

This poison does not kill. In some countries it is used for torture.

It turned out that the queen was quite chatty.

1. She does not want to kill her husband's mistress. If Lydia suffers, so does the king.

2. The queen will frighten and torment the minion until she gets bored, and as soon as she gets bored of this "toy", she will break her. Faster the queen will kill the son of the king's mistress.

3. Zhe does not care about adultery. Silvio's mother hates her husband.

4. She already had a lover, but her engagement to the king ruined everything.

Silvio would listen no more and ran away.

For the first time he knew his mother's true face.

━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

A few days later.

Ch. 21. Romantic Route

Lydia, the king's favorite and Rio's mother, was poisoned.

Valerio: Why doesn't anyone try to help!

Silvio can't look his little brother in the eye.

Mother: It's not that they don't want to help, it's that they don't know how to help.

Silvio can hardly contain himself, watching Rio scream in panic, and seeing how calm his mother and brother are.

Valerio: ....You're not...

Valerio: You're not human... No.

That evening.

Silvio felt guilty, he decides to talk to his mother. He tells her that he saw her with the mercenary.

She laughed.

The prince did not know at the time that people would call it crazy.

Mother: Silvio, you better think about becoming king. ...I can imagine the man's face. Do you want me to tell you something nice?

She, usually stern, gives her son a gentle hug.

Mother: You may not be the king's son. But this is a secret between you and me, okay?

No one and nothing could confirm or deny it.

Fortunately, he inherited the blue eyes that are the hallmark of Benitoite royalty, so no one could say that Silvio was an illegitimate child.

The queen convinced herself of this.

"The mother is a beast. And... born from the womb of such a woman, I too am a beast, and even my royal status, where a rich life without love is guaranteed, may be in jeopardy. This fact made my young heart tremble and instilled fear. I hate Valerio."

He hates, the king who is attached to his youngest son.

But.... He doesn't want to be like his mother.

Some time later.

Valerio is crying. Silvio has taken something from his brother again. He tries to teach his brother through violence to be strong so that he can stand up for himself.

Silvio: I don't have the strength to protect you from those bastards.

Flashback in flashback is over.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Main Flashback. 3 years ago.

Castle Prison

The ointment begins to work. Carlo wants to go to get the doctor, but the prince won't let him.

He needs clean clothes and a carriage. Silvio will look for Valerio. He hopes to find his brother before Emidio does.

If he is alive, of course.

Carlo: And if you don't find him?

Silvio: Then I will erase all traces of Valerio's life.

Carlo wonders, how can you do this? By bribery and changing documents, answers the prince.

Silvio does this so that Emidio does not find Valerio. It is good if he is found quickly, but if not...If he is injured. Silvio believes in his brother's strength, but wants to back him up.

Silvio: If there is money, a lot of things are possible.

The business he started with pocket money was a great success, and he put the money he earned into his next business.

Repeating this, he started making money as a child and before he knew it, he was the youngest millionaire ever.

With the money, he bribed a couple of people.

These people were looking out for Emidio, looking for Valerio, and trying to fix problems.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Flashback in flashback.

The prince's money has attracted some women.

Woman 1: Silvio, is there anything I can do in your room tonight?

Woman 2: No, tonight I am Silvio's partner.

Woman 3: The third woman offered some good wine.

Silvio panics. People used to avoid him, try to mingle with friendly Emidio and Valerio.

Flashback in flashback is over.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Main Flashback. 3 years ago.

Castle Prison

"I learned that a man no one loves can be loved by anyone if he has money".

"Money isn't everything,' is the nonsense of wimps who don't know how to make money."

The hatred for Valerio had subsided, but not longing. Rather, it was the money that made things worse.

Silvio and Carlo are about to leave prison.

Silvio: ...Take care, Valerio.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Three years passed

Silvio found Valerio in an unexpected place.

But along with relief came longing.

Main Flashback is over.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

Silvio's Masterlist

#Hahaha....Cybird knows what we want #More half-naked Silvio 🤣😅#Emidio is definitely Alfio's son... He's such an asshole 🤬#ikemen prince #ikemen ouji #ikepri #ikepri translation #silvio ricci #ikemen silvio #ikemen prince silvio #ikepri silvio #ikepri silvio's route #ikemen silvio's route

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wellthebardsdead · 1 year

Text

The mourned & the heretics pt6

Part 5 here

———

Nerevar: *blinks awake and smiles feeling riiju-leis warm body against his, safe and sound in his arms* hm… my love… *kisses his hair softly as he gently shifts away from him and out of bed to get dressed for his duties, preparing mentally to declare his marriage to his dreamer*

Riiju-Lei: *whines softly feeling his fiancés warmth leave his side and slowly blinks open all 3 eyes* love?… *looks up to see nerevar pulling on the robes of house indoril*

Nerevar: *looks back at him and smiles* shhh, go back to sleep. I have a meeting and duties to attend to, I’ll be a few hours.

Riiju-Lei: can I come?…

Nerevar: *blinks in confusion and looks back at him again* why dear?…

Riiju-Lei: if, I’m to be married to you and be the head of my house, shouldn’t I learn first hand how the temple works?…

Nerevar: *ties his robe and sits beside him on the bed, stroking his cheek* there’s a lot you’ll need to learn before you’ll be ready to attend a meeting in person. *leans down kissing him softly, wanting so badly to just stay here with him instead* I won’t be long, *gently tucks him in again and smiles adoringly at him* I love you LeiLei.

Riiju-Lei: *smiles tiredly up at him, too tired to argue* I love you too my moon & star… *closes his eyes and snuggles back into the pillows with a long yawn*

Nerevar: *stops in the doorway to admire him again for a moment longer before stepping out into the hall and sighing* this is going to go very badly… *walks down the corridor and through several chambers before stopping outside of the main meeting room, hearing heated bickering from the other side of the door* okay nerevar, you can do this. *takes in a deep breath before aggressively pushing open the doors making a slam echo throughout the temple, silencing everyone in the chamber* Ah, good morning. Glad to see you all decided to wait for me to arrive before going at each others throats.

Ferasie Sadras: *the acting leader of the new great house of Sadras, stands up and gestures to the grandmaster of house dres* Lord nerevar I must protest this vile creature being permitted a seat at this table! There is no place for someone with his ideals in this council!

Grandmaster of Dres: *very beaten up from first being knocked unconscious by Kaidan and then being dragged from the temple by the ordinators the previous evening* Hold your tongue boy! Your house barely has a foothold in the door of this temple! House Dres has served the dunmer people for centuries!

Ferasie Sadras: On the backs of slaves our lord nerevar freed!!

Grandmaster of Dres: AND DOING SO HE CONDEMNED US ALL!

Nerevar: ENOUGH!!!

Everyone: *falls silent*

Divayth Fyr: *sitting at the end of the table drinking tea, was enjoying the show of politics at its ‘best’* Good morning lord Nerevar. I trust you and your companion slept well. *pours a cup for nerevar as the chimer sits beside him at the head of the table*

Nerevar: Indeed I did, Riiju-Lei is taking some time to adjust still but I-

Grandmaster of Dres: *chokes on his tea before slamming his cup down* YOURE BEDDING ONE OF THOSE SCALED BEASTS?!

Nerevar: He is argonian only in name and by who-

Grandmaster of Dres: I cannot believe this! First you release all the slaves allowing them to go on a rampage slaughtering your own people, then they destroy ALL of my families ash rice plantations! And now you’re bed-

Divayth Fyr: Sit. Down.

Grandmaster of Dres: *feeling genuine fear of Divayth Fyr and his immense power and influence, knowing full well unlike nerevar he wouldn’t hesitate to have him killed* … *sits down slowly and falls silent*

Divayth Fyr: Forgive my overstepping Hortator. Please, continue.

Nerevar: *smiles and nods* Riiju-Lei is argonian only in name, and by the woman who raised him. Who was an escaped slave held prisoner by your house grandmaster. I have reason to believe as well that his birth mother was one of my followers who aided in their liberation. You are lucky I grant you a place at this table of peace. Especially after you assaulted him yesterday in front of the Archmaster of Redoran and Archmagister of telvanni.

Grandmaster of Dres: *shrinking in on himself as the eyes of the great house heads all turn to him* y-yes lord nerevar, forgive me… I have forgotten my place.

Nerevar: *sighs* you are pardoned. According to the census we have plenty of stores available for both local distribution and export still. The temple will provide the funds for the rebuilding of the plantations and any damages, and house redoran I ask you provide security to ensure no further attacks occur. The argonian people are justified in their anger towards house Dres however the destruction of our peoples agriculture cannot go dismissed.

Archmaster of Redoran: Of course Hortator, house Redoran will forever be devout to protecting its people.

Ferasie Sadras: Um, *clears his throat* Lord nerevar, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of meeting this companion of yours. Riiju-Lei was it?

Nerevar: You will in time, he is still recovering from a long journey, the other house heads only had the pleasure of meeting him as they awaited us at the city gates. But on the topic of him… As you all know I’ve been voyaging across tambriel in search of something. Well, that something, was him.

Grandmaster of Dres: yes? And?

Everyone: *looks at him in annoyance*

Nerevar: *glares at him before continuing* The reason I searched for so long, why he is so important. Is he is the reincarnation of Voryn Dagoth.

Everyone: *falls silent*

Grandmaster of Dres: You mean to tell us you’ve brought dagoth ur, back to morrowind…

Nerevar: *hand moving to his sword* You will not refer to him as that title again if you know what is good for you Grandmaster.

Grandmaster of Dres: *clenches his jaw trying to hold his tongue* …

Divayth Fyr: *sensing building hostility and attempting to calm the situation* It is my understanding as well he is not yet used to being referred to as Voryn Dagoth as well is he not?

Nerevar: He is conflicted yes, he feels he is doing wrong by his parentage by accepting a new name even if it was his in the past. However, with his presence now recognised I am hereby reinstating house dagoth as part of the council, any members formerly of the house unmourned will be permitted to enter the temple once more and the 6th house shall now be mourned and rebirthed anew.

Archmaster of Redoran: Redoran house grants their support to house indorils decision.

Divayth Fyr: House Telvanni grants their support to house indorils decision.

Ferasie Sadras: House Sadras grants their support to house indorils decisio-

Grandmaster of Dres: House Dres declines house indorils decision! You dare bring the Sharmat here to the temple of our ancestors and expect-

Nerevar: DONT YOU DARE REFER TO HIM AS THAT! *draws his blade*

Divayth Fyr: Grandmaster you are out of line! Guard-

???: House Dagoth, grants their support to house indorils decision.

Everyone: *falls silent and turns their gaze to the door to see Riiju-Lei standing there, dressed in nice robes, third eye open and on display for all to see as he sees them.

Riiju-Lei: *bows respectfully to the group* I apologise for my interruption.

Nerevar: it’s… it’s alright I-

Divayth Fyr: well lord Nerevar? You have the approval of 5 houses now including your own. Shall we proceed?

Nerevar: *clears his throat and gestures to the empty seat at the head of the table next to him*

Riiju-Lei: *walks to him and sits down, face stoic minus the small smile he can’t help but make as nerevar takes his hand.

Nerevar: It is with the permission of the great houses of morrowind, that I, Nerevar of House indoril, welcome House Dagoth, as the 6th house now mourned. *pauses as the house heads, minus dres applauds* And it is with immense joy. I announce the unification of House Indoril, and House Dagoth, As I take Voryn Dagoths hand in marriage.

Grandmaster of Dres: H-Hortator you cannot be ser-

Divayth Fyr: Congratulations! We’ll begin preparing for the celebration at once! House Telvanni grants their blessings!

Archmaster of Redoran: Marvelous! House Redoran grants it’s blessings! For all the good you have already done I can see a splendid future for morrowind with this union!

Ferasie Sadras: House Sadras is honoured to grant its blessings to this union! The 6th house mourned will be-

Grandmaster of Dres: HOUSE DRES OBJECTS TO THIS UNION! LORD NEREVAR YOU ARE OUT OF LINE BRINGING THIS TO THE COUNCIL!

Ferasie Sadras: Sit down grandmaster!

Grandmaster of Dres: You do not command me boy!

Nerevar: Grandmaster sit down or I will have you removed from the council effective immediately-

Grandmaster Dres: *stands up drawing a dagger from his robe* If you will not see reason then I will put a stop to this myself! *charges towards nerevar*

Riiju-Lei: *suddenly dives in front of the chimer pushing him back*

Nerevar: LEILEI NO-

Riiju-Lei: FUS-

*meanwhile outside the meeting room*

Ordinator: it’s gone rather quiet in there do you think they’re alright?

Ordinator 2: I’m sure it’s fi-

“RO DAH!!”

Ordinators: *both jump in shock watching as the grandmaster of house dress smashes open the doors with his body as he’s sent flying from the room* … *both of them slowly look in to see the remaining house heads looking at Riiju-Lei in shock, and Riiju-Lei himself standing there looking like he’s ready to murder the grandmaster*

Riiju-Lei: *steps forward to follow after the grandmaster and kill him*

Nerevar: *gently grabs his shoulder* shhh, it’s okay, calm down, he didn’t get me. I’m safe thanks to you…

Divayth Fyr: Ordinators. The grandmaster of house Dres is out of line. Arrest him.

Grandmaster of Dres: *sits up shakily* wh-what type of magic was that?! What- I- UNHAND ME!

The ordinators: *grab hold of him pulling him to his feet and dragging him off*

Grandmaster of Dres: RELEASE ME AT ONCE!! YOULL REGRET THIS NEREVAR! ILL MAKE SURE OF I- *silenced as the Archmaster of Redoran closes the doors*

Archmaster of Redoran: …I never liked that prick.

#nerevar #indoril nerevar #riiju lei dragonborn #dunmer dragonborn

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bllsbailey · 4 months

Text

Hamas Releases Video Of 4 Israeli Teen Hostages

The families of four Israeli teens kidnapped by Hamas in the Gaza Strip were interviewed by the UK’s Daily Mail outlet on Monday. They made a plea to parents everywhere, asking for help and further assistance in saving their loved ones.

Shortly after their abductions on October 7th, Liri Albag, 18, of Moshav Yarhiv, Karina Ariev, 19, of Jerusalem, Daniella Gilboa, 19, of Petah Tikva, and Agam Berger, 19, of Holon, were featured in a propaganda video released by Hamas.

The four were shown with their wrists tied behind them, lined up against a wall in the footage. A few were even battered and covered in dried blood.

Additionally, each woman’s pre-captivity photo was shown next to a screenshot taken from the video.

The four are thought to be the youngest female captives that Hamas and other terror organizations from Palestine are still holding in Gaza.

“Imagine if it was your daughter, your little girl in their hands,” said Orly, the mother of Daniela Gilboa, a pianist who wrote songs and dreamed of becoming a musician. “What would you imagine?”

In an attack on October 7th, hundreds of Hamas terrorists broke across Israel’s border with the Gaza Strip, killing at least 1,200 people, the majority of them civilians. The terrorists massacred as many nearby civilians as possible during their deadly rampage in the southern regions.

The Islamic extremists reportedly tortured and disfigured many victims.

A temporary ceasefire accord has resulted in the release of many women and children who were among the 240 people who were kidnapped and held as hostages in Gaza.

“We understood exactly what they did on October 7,” Orly said. “If they are capable of this, what have they been doing for 90 days? I don’t want to imagine what is going on.”

The family expressed worries that some female prisoners might have had limbs severed or that they had been raped at gunpoint.

“We heard about the sexual abuses,” said Shlomi Berger, Agam’s father. “As a father, I can’t imagine these things. The family is torn apart.”

He also asserted that the family was “torn apart, [and] not functional,” and that the circumstances had a profound effect on each and every one of them.

“It’s misery; it’s helpless[ness]. My mother’s in a terrible situation; she doesn’t know what to do,” said Karina’s sister, Sasha.

Karina is “very kind, very humble, and an innocent, pure creature. I can’t stop thinking about her, and I will do anything to get her back,” according to her sister.

Other liberated hostages have provided the families with some information regarding their children. After being released from Hamas on November 26th together with her three children, Chen Goldstein-Almog claimed to have seen the four teens at a residence in Gaza.

“Some of them are close in age to my daughters, and I hugged them so hard,” she told reporters.

However, Goldstein-Almog also returned with horrifying news about the conditions of the hostages.

“Some of the girls were badly wounded and haven’t been getting proper medical care,” she said of hostages she saw. “Gunshot wounds, even lost limbs. They said they can cope with the disability but not with the manner they were constantly violated.”

Although not all of the 132 hostages taken on October 7th are believed to be alive, it is thought that they are still in Gaza following the release of 105 civilians from Hamas custody during a week-long ceasefire in late November. Before then, four hostages had been freed, and one had been rescued by military forces.

Eight captives’ bodies have also been found.

Relying on new data and discoveries from soldiers stationed in Gaza, the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) have verified the demise of 25 of the individuals who were being detained by Hamas.

Kfir Bibas, who was kidnapped at the age of nine months, and his brother Ariel Bibas, who is four, are believed to be the youngest hostages held. Their parents, Yarden and Shiri, were also abducted from Kibbutz Nir Oz.

Israel began its military campaign to destroy Hamas, drive it out of Gaza, and free the captives in reaction to the attack on October 7th.

In the interview’s concluding moments, Orly recalled the days when her daughter used to play the piano in their house and lead singing performances with her sister.

“I wish it would be [like this] today,” she said.

Stay informed! Receive breaking news blasts directly to your inbox for free. Subscribe here. https://www.oann.com/alerts

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thisis-goodbye · 2 years

Text

“My son.”

Hearing him say those two precious words cuts like a knife. They echo off my heart and drop to my stomach like a pin.

“My son.”

How? You created him. You danced the dance we have danced for many centuries with a woman you broke as a last ditch effort to fix things. You broke her. You created him.

“My son.”

You say one thing and do another. Your tongue slithers between your teeth in a way that sounds like you might be unstable. Years of drug use and alcohol, I’m sure. You say it was just one dui but we know. We know. We know if the abuse and the drugs and the drinking. We know you. You don’t know us. You tearfully say you’re stuck in a place but you haven’t even grasped where you’re at beyond the four walls of a cell in a prison that is four hours away. You haven’t thought about it. You hoped we would drop it. You hoped we would let the system take care of your creation until you can get out and get your shit together. Unfortunately, your time has run out. You are bound for a decision that can’t be undone. You are destined to release your creation. If you don’t, you stand to lose. And we have no reason to offer anything else.

“My son.”

I want so badly to scream at you. I want to tell you that just because he’s biologically yours doesn’t mean he’s yours. Just because you didn’t know doesn’t mean we or he owes you anything. Just because you feel entitled to a life you created doesn’t mean you will do well once the responsibility is yours. He’s not something you can just return to Walmart if the fit isn’t just right. He is not some discounted item to be put on the end cap and if you decide it doesn’t go with your decor that you can just bring him back. He’s not a toy. He’s a life. He’s my son.

“My son.”

I watched in awe as the nurse placed him on the scale. “7lbs 2.2oz 19in long” short but good. He was red as a tomato. Tiny and warm. My instincts immediately kicked in as he was placed in my arms. Staring in disbelief at this tiny human. This tiny human that we waited so long for. I watched his little chest rise and fall. I watched him smack his lips and open one eye. I kissed the top of his way too big head. He was placed in the bassinet after a diaper change and we fed him. I watched my husband stare at this little being in amazement. He was here. He was ours.

“My son.”

They let us go home with him. We couldn’t believe it. With out any instruction on how to use the car seat, finally we got it figured out. Into our car. Into our home. My husband had to leave the bring back once of the hospital bracelets. I just stared at him in the silence. Tiny human. Our son.

“My son.”

A few days later, his birth mother relinquished her rights. She messaged me to let me know that you might contest this. We hoped you wouldn’t be this stupid. Here we are. She said he would fight with us. I held my breath and cried. I already loved my son.

“My son.”

I get the call that you contested. A million thoughts race through my mind. You’re that stupid. What if you win? Can you provide the better life from him? Beyond the four walls of your cell can you really be the best fit? “Idk why I havent gotten out. I can provide well. I want my son.”

“My son”

But can you provide for him with out a drink in your hand? What happens if he’s in the car when you drive the wrong way again? What does his future look like with you? You can cook him fancy meals but can you really and truly give him a life worth living?

“My son”

He’s my son. Not yours. Biology aside, you know nothing. You don’t know anything about him. You haven’t asked. Which is very narcissistic of you. This isnt about my son this is about you. Play innocent. Go ahead. Lie to the courts again that it’s just a dui. Watch as we drag every mistake up from your grave. Fuck you asshole. You don’t get my son.

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coalitiongirl · 3 years

Text

Fic Recs (under 300 edition)

So I wanted to get back to reading Swan Queen fic regularly, and I asked people to rec longfic that they'd read (not written) and loved that had fewer than 300 kudos! I haven’t read most of these, but I’ve collected them here so y’all can go through the list and discover some new fics with me! Please try to kudos and review every fic that you read! It means the world to the writers and will keep em writing, and then we all win. 😁

Atonement by SgtMac (M): With Regina's magical heart failing thanks to years of previous evil, Emma and Regina and Henry (and Granny!) set out to save her life by traveling to the Enchanted Forest and requesting help from ancient magical beings known as the Guardians. Given a mission as simple as it is impossible - to achieve atonement by creating peace - the ladies find themselves joining a rebellion and fighting for the very soul of the Enchanted Forest all while trying to help Regina to understand that the self-loathing and guilt which have driven most of her actions don't have to doom her chance for a new beginning or even, a chance to live and love again. A S4(ish) SQ love story set against the turmoil of war and the chaotic savagery of the old world.

Blood and Sand by cheshire6845 (E): A/U The Savior is a slave forced into the role of fighting as a gladiator for the House of Hearts. The odds are against her survival as she will have to win in the arena, navigate Cora's schemes, outlast a general's vengeance, and not be killed out of spite by the current House of Hearts Champion - Regina the Undefeated. This story follows the major plot points of Starz Spartacus with some twists along the way.

But what if there was no time by KizuRai (M): When she wakes up, it's dark. She can't move, she can't see, she can't feel and she can't hear. Where am I? She feels a forceful oppression, pressing her down, draining her of her energy and she's powerless to stop it. How did I get here? The question of here is relative, she's not even sure where here is. What happened? There must be some reason for being stuck here but her memory is fuzzy, like all her thoughts are being sifted through a filter. Who am I? She's not sure if she actually exists or she suddenly became sentient in the darkness.She hears a voice reverberating in the distance, it's distorted and quiet but she hears it all the same. It breaks the monotony of the silence. Someone's coming for her, they will get her out. She's just not sure she wants them to as the price might be too great.

Finding Home by evl_rgl (T): “I wanted to remember you so badly that I pulled back your cursed town just so that the memories would make sense. I needed you so badly that even when I had no memory of you, I still tried to find you.” Regina gave Emma and Henry memories of a happy life together before they fled Pan’s curse, leaving them with no memories of their lives in Storybrooke. However, when the memory spell shows signs of failing, threatening to rip apart the minds of both Emma and Henry, Regina makes a drastic choice to go back and fix it, understanding that it will mean living alone in a world where her son doesn’t know her. Was the spell really faulty, though? (swanqueen)

Five Flames by MariaComet (U): In the past, Emma Nolan disconnected from her peers in high school, preferring to keep to herself. In her sophomore year of high school, she decided to try and join the boy’s wrestling team because she was bored. She didn’t expect herself to become the champion of the most bullied kid in school or the secret best friend of the school queen. She also didn’t expect to join a club that would change her life. In the present, Emma is trying to cope with a humiliating loss in her martial arts career. She claims to be “training” but is stuck in limbo between wanting to retire and try again. She is isolated from her former best friend, Regina Mills, a local celebrity chef and the rest of her old friends. When one of them calls her with an idea to honor their deceased teacher, she is confronted with unresolved feelings and questions about how powerful love truly is.

A Glamour of Truth by PrincessCharming (T): After 2x10, Regina uses magic to show Emma the obvious truth. A tentative trust forms between them amid hilarious bickering. With Emma's help, Regina struggles to regain a place in her son's life... until Cora arrives, wanting her daughter back. Pieces of Regina's past emerge showing that the board was set long before the game started. The final battle begins soon.

His Dark Materials 'verse by MoonlitMidnight (M): A modern Alternate Universe in which Dæmons (the external physical manifestation of a person's 'inner self' that takes the form of an animal) are present. In which Emma and Regina have led slightly different lives and they make slightly different choices.

How Many Miles to Avalon? (WIP) by RavenOutlander (E): Regina would do anything to save Emma from the darkness and bring her back home safe and sound. Even put up with the two idiots, Captain Guyliner and a bunch of dwarves she decidedly wanted to drop off at the nearest exit. But in their search for Emma, they find that she might not need that much saving after all. Caught up in a search for the infamous Philosopher Stone, an all out war between DunBroch and Camelot, and ghosts from the past to haunt her every waking moment, Regina finds herself scrambling to keep her and her family's happy endings from falling apart.

The Hyperion by FrankenSpine (M): After wishing upon what she believes is a shooting star, Emma Swan finds herself aboard the Hyperion, the royal starship of an alien Queen from a faraway galaxy. She quickly learns of the tensions between the Queen's people and her own, but the Queen takes an interest in her and agrees to take her away from Earth forever. Adventure awaits. *(Loosely based on Guardians of the Galaxy with just a hint of Farscape)*

If Wishes Came True (It Would've Been You) by Angeii_K (M): After Regina films a guest appearance on her friend Neal’s popular show, he invites her to spend the weekend with him and his girlfriend. What she never expected was to actually like the woman. Sparks fly between the two, which results in them questioning everything and making choices they will later regret. 4 years later, they meet again in the most unexpected of ways. Now co-stars on the same show, they are forced to work through the emotions from their last encounter. What will happen next? Only time will tell.

The King Doesn’t Have To Know (WIP) by highheelsandchocolate (M): The White Knight had never seen anyone like her before: the Queen was nothing short of mesmerizing. Her possessive yet neglectful husband, however, was another thing entirely.

The Lich by Dangereaux (M): Gay disaster Emma, exasperated Regina, and a monster. A Halloween special.

Maybe if We Close Our Eyes we Can Reach the Stars by wellthizizdeprezzing (T): Emma is a lonely astronaut. Regina is an adventuring alien. Their paths cross leading them onto a journey of new discovery. Between galaxies and many miles of cold black space, despite not speaking the same language, they manage to fall for each other. An out of this world love story.

A prisoner long forgotten by sugarsweet_19 (M): ‘I wish I had a child as white as snow, as red as blood and as black as the wood of the window-frame. Soon after she had a little girl, who was as white as snow, with lips as red as blood and with her hair as black as the ebony of the window-frame. She was therefore called Snow-white.” This is how our story starts but how will it end?The evil queen as been locked up in a tower and forgotten that is until princess Emma looks for a place to hid from her parents after they tell her she has to marry Neal the son of the dark one.

Revenge of the Three Little Pigs by mskyo (M): Regina and Emma find themselves alone and looking for the rest of their party. The Evil Queen must face the consequences of her past actions. Will Emma come to her aid, or understand that justice must be served... *Some chapters have fairly graphic sex, and violence*

Things I Almost Remember by cheshire6845 (T): A/U Despite an oncoming war between the Dark and the Light, Emma and Regina are best friends growing up in the Enchanted Forest. When war does come, they find themselves on opposite sides. Regina will have to defy her mother to save Emma. Will Emma be able to save Regina when Cora curses her daughter to live in the Land without Magic?

What We Make (WIP) by DiazTuna (M): “My mother.” He says calmly. He’d known all along, she’s aware. But he’d known that today would be the day that would get this going. She wants to ask what it was like, to have woken up this morning, laced up his boots and walked into hell just knowing. “It’s programmed the cyborg to kill her. Before I have a chance to be born.” -In which the leader of the future sends his best soldier back to the past to save his mother from a killer cyborg. Terminator AU.

The Wrong Way by pcworth (M): Takes place right after Zelena steals Regina's heart. Zelena offers Regina a chance to go back in time with her and change both of their lives for the better. But what will be the price of that decision. Slow-burn to SwanQueen

zombie trash by 13pens (T): Zelena could have her brain and eat it, too. Fic operates on three premises 1. this takes place in any universe where zelena is a reformed asshole 2. zombies are a thing and exist iZombie style 3. i have NO chill

#swan queen #fic rec #ouat

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the-hidden-pages · 3 years

Text

Let Me Worship You: Part 1 - Zemo x Fem!Reader

The fact that this man is the one who dragged me out of my refusing-to-write-fanfiction grave and let me post old work while working on new stuff is...Impressive. Damn you Daniel Bruhl.

Synopsis: With all the horrible things you had heard of Baron Helmut Zemo, you hadn't anticipated just how badly he wished to win you over. To a further extent, you certainly hadn't anticipated how tempting it would be to give in.

No bad NSFW this chapter - this is the lead up to the main course.

You were not an Avenger.

Unsurprising, really, given what you perceived to be your lack of talent and marketable super-heroine prowess, and so when Bucky called you up asking for a favour, you were pleasantly surprised.

You had only met Bucky on the rare occasion he let you help him, often expressing that he viewed you as a worrywart, a particularly bad day of his leading to him accusing you of trying to be his mother. He later apologized, hearing your explanation that you wanted to help in any way you could, and since you didn't have a superhero serum or fancy suit or arm, you relied on what you could - your mind and your giving nature.

He must have remembered this conversation, because he brought you with him and Sam to what appeared to be an underground parking garage.

"What're you talking about, you wanna break Zemo out of jail? Where the hell are we Buck? Have you lost your mind?!" Sam was raving as you followed behind the two men, silent as you stew over what Bucky had told you.

Babysitting duty.

You were effectively on glorified babysitting duty of an incredibly dangerous criminal.

"James..." you hesitated when he discussed this with you, how could you not? "I don't know how useful I'll be here."

"Very," he countered, his voice dull while his eyes were pleading. "Sam’s an Avenger, I have the serum. But you, you're just a person. Zemo will be less likely to hurt and immediately betray you because of that fact alone."

"He's killed people who've been in his way before. Normal people."

"He won't kill you. I'll make sure of that."

A heavy sigh escapes you as Sam and Bucky continue to bicker about the logistics of breaking Zemo out.

"I don't like how casual you're being about this, it's unnatural - and - where are we man?"

"I wouldn't mind an answer to that too," you supply, but any answer is interrupted by the sound of a door unlocking.

The three of you turn to approaching footsteps, and find no one other than Helmut Zemo striding towards you, dressed in a prison guard's uniform.

Sam responds immediately, arguing to throw him back in jail, while Bucky tries to calm him down. But you can't help but stare at the man before you as he removes the cap on his head, arms raised in an attempt to calm the men down.

"If I may" his voice rasped, but he was stopped short by Sam and Bucky in unison.

"NO!"

Zemo nodded, looking away almost sheepishly. "Apologies," came the quiet response.

If it were any other situation, you would have laughed - those two had the dynamics of a married couple and they couldn't stand each other. And for them to completely shut down the killer in front of them was...incredibly funny.

But you had a job to do.

As the boys continued to bicker, you took slow steps forward towards the man now looking you up and down, trying to place your part in all of this.

"Don't mind them," you spoke quietly, not wanting to distract Sam and Bucky, but still intending to speak with the criminal. "They're having some troubles in paradise. You must be Zemo."

His eyes take you in, a small smirk beginning to form. "So I must. May I have the pleasure of your name, Liebling?"

You offer your name hesitantly, and he repeats it back to you, as though he were sampling what it might taste like.

"Beautiful name, thank you." He turns to face the two men still arguing, not noticing your introductions. "I really think I'm invaluable..."

"Shut up..." Sam warned, before turning back to Bucky, looking between him and you.

You nod reassuringly to him - this is necessary, if the super soldiers are to be dealt with.

A sharp sigh leaves Sam. "Okay. If we do this, you don't make a move without our permission. And she is watching you every step of the way."

Bucky interjects. "And if anything happens to her, you're going to wish we left you in that cell."

Zemo nods, looking to you once again. "Fair."

You tilt your head slightly, unable to read his eyes as they examine you. You brush it off, chalking it up to him appreciating not being thrown back into a cell immediately. "Okay Zemo. Where do we start?"

*************************************

Zemo wasn't sure of what to make of you, he realized as you were on the jet to Riga.

You weren't an Avenger, you weren't a soldier, super or otherwise. You seemed to just be a person, one constantly offering her help where she could, even when it was to her own detriment.

He also took note of how rarely your help was appreciated or reciprocated.

You would offer help any moment you could, carrying supplies, offering to fetch food, simply offering and ear to listen. You were quick to attempt to smooth over Sam and Bucky's disputes, and you would play along with the role Zemo would assign you without much question - anything to help, you would say.

You were kind, he noticed as well. Smart, and shrewd, and clearly with trust issues, but you were kind and polite. You spoke with him as much as you might Sam or Bucky, you offered him your trust under the promise he would aide you find the super soldier serum. With your kindness, he thought it might be easy to manipulate you, to slip away from the group, maybe even to ask you to join him.

But there was an issue with his theory, he quickly noticed - any attempt to woo you, attract you, win you...didn't seem to work.

He hadn't been at the task long, mind you, but he had hoped you would be impressed with the jacket, the Baron title, the jet, the offer of wine. Instead, you simply seemed uncomfortable. Come Madripoor, you were happy to play the part of eye candy to escape much attention, yet when he offered you to keep the stunning dress, shoes, and jewelry ensemble you simply waved it off, claiming that you'd reimburse him if he insisted on you keeping it. You were happy to dance near him, unable to hide your laughter at his moves, yet he offered you a drink and you promptly declined, claiming it unnecessary.

Zemo's brow furrows as he observes you, awake and quietly reading as Sam and Bucky both sleep on the flight.

"What's your motive, Liebling?" he questions, and you glance up from your page.

"Don't tell me the criminal doesn't trust me," you respond wryly, turning your gaze back.

"No, I don't mean like that," he shifts, leaning forward to continue to observe the woman that was his guard. "I wonder what keeps you going. Some are motivated by riches, and dreams. Others from spite and anger. What do you want from life, my dear? What causes you to wake up in the morning?"

You pause, looking up to search his eyes to see where this question was coming from. You weren't sure what game he was playing, and you weren't sure how to answer him either. You eventually look back down to your book, a small smile playing on your lips.

"Nothing wakes me up in the morning, given I rarely get to sleep most nights."

His brows furrowed as she goes back to her pages, eager for the conversation to end. Her difficulty doesn't seem to be that he's a criminal - she's spoken plenty freely to him, she agrees to his plans...

The difficulty, he begins to realize with a smile. Maybe he's beginning to see what the difficulty is after all.

*************************************

You weren't sure what to make of Zemo, you think as you lie awake at night in the Riga safe house.

This criminal coming out of nowhere, apparently being rich as hell, so far doing nothing to cause you to believe he would betray you (yes, Sam and Bucky were shocked by his killing of Nagel, but really? You weren't shocked) ...but what shocked you the most was how badly he seemed to want to win you over.

You could justify it, sure. You're supposed to be his guard, he's likely trying to get you to let your guard down so he can escape. Yet when he's so charismatic, the way he holds himself, that voice...

Your eyes snap open sharply.

You were attracted to Zemo.

The man you're meant to be watching.

No, you told yourself. You're just lonely, and he's the first man offering you attention in a long time. It doesn't matter that his eyes examining you makes you blush, that you want to run your fingers through his hair, that a quiet voice your head wished that he would kiss you when he pulled you aside with one arm, other hand aiming at a pipe in Madripoor to blow up some poor saps...

It's the heat of the situation, you told yourself. Your options are Sam, Bucky, and Zemo...

Trust you to pick the worst option.

But how could you not, your mind whispers. When he danced like a goofball in a club your heart warmed. When he sat, filled with confidence and righteousness in the jet, legs splayed enough that you could perch on your knees in front of him, worship him, pleasure him. When he left the bathroom this morning in that damned robe, the deep V drawing your eyes down his chest before you could help himself.

You groaned. Of all the thoughts to keep you awake, why did it have to be your assignment on your mind?

It was too hot, your mind was swimming, you knew sleep wouldn't come soon.

And so, you stood, wrapping your arms around your book and padding downstairs in a loose t-shirt and shorts. Zemo had said that you were welcome to whatever resided within the safe house, and you were ready to take up his offer and steal a cup of tea.

You weren't expecting to find anyone else still awake. And yet, you weren't fully surprised to find Zemo sitting in the kitchen, bottle of whiskey at his side, a glass in his hand. He looks up at the sound of your footsteps, a soft smile on his face.

"Good evening, Liebling."

"Zemo. Can't sleep?"

"Unfortunately, not." He leans backwards slightly, examining you. "Another sleepless night for you as well."

"So it would seem."

You take a seat across the counter from him, not wanting to sit too closely to the man you were just fantasizing about. You were good at keeping a straight face, but you wondered if you got too close if he'd somehow be able to smell it on you.

He pushed his bottle forward, cocking an eyebrow at you.

"Drink?"

Your finger caresses the binding of your book as you hesitate to find the words.

"Actually, I had come down to make myself a cup of tea, if you don't mind."

Zemo's eyes lit up slightly, and he stood, motioning for you to stay where you were. "Allow me."

"You don't have to-" you begin to protest, but he's quick to cut you off.

"Please, Liebling, let me spoil you."

The heat that washes over you is clearly visible, if his chuckle is any indicator.

Silence falls and you quietly open your book as Zemo busies himself over the tea. In mere minutes a steeping mug is delicately placed in front of you. You smile graciously and nod, though you falter slightly as he doesn't return to the other end of the counter - rather, sitting on a stool right beside you, inquisitive eyes not leaving your face.

"Can I help you with something, Baron?" you question, taking the tea and blowing on it to cool it down somewhat. His eyes follow your movements, before travelling to meet yours again.

You could drown in those eyes -

"Day after day you offer your help, sarcastically or not," he begins, leaning forward slightly as he rests his chin on his hand, examining you. "Who offers help to the helper?"

You take a sip of your tea, tilting you head. "I don't know what you mean."

"Your refusal of my gifts, your reluctance to let me even make you a cup of tea - at first I wondered if it was in distrust of me, Liebling -"

"Well, you have killed people."

He quirks an eyebrow, and you motion for him to finish.

"I realize now it's because you're uncomfortable being cared for. You spend so much time looking after everyone else, you give no one the opportunity to worship you as you deserve."

You choked a bit on your tea at that.

"I don't know that I deserve to be worshiped, I just...exist. And do what I can to help others."

Zemo leaned forward further, slowly, so as to not push you away in result. "We haven't been acquainted for long, my dear, but from all I've seen from you with Sam, with James, and with an undeserving man such as myself...the strength in your soul and the empathy in your heart...It alone rises you so far above the men and women placed on pedestals because of their supernatural abilities."

You lean forward to match, but your eyes have steeled over. "Your sweet words won't make me let you go, Zemo. I won't betray Sam and Bucky."

He didn't miss a beat. "I should be so lucky to be held captive by you for eternity, Liebling. I don't ask you to betray your friends on my behalf."

"Then what do you want from me, exactly?"

You should be very afraid. The man who singlehandedly tore apart the Avengers is staring at you as if you were a last meal, his knees touching yours, his hand finding its way to lightly perch on your arm.

You should be afraid.

Yet despite your better judgement, you aren't.

"I want you to tell me every one of your desires, so I might fulfill them. I want to see you stand tall in the finest clothes money can buy, to whisk you away to Paris, Vienna, Rome, every beautiful local this world has to offer, local that pale in comparison to the beauty in front of me. I want you to let me bring you tea, wine, food, chocolates, and anything else that might please you. I want you to relax against me, to feel the tension you've had all mission to wash away in the most luxurious bath of your life, while I wash your beautiful hair, while I taste every inch of you."

His voice had dropped to nearly a whisper, and you couldn't stop yourself from leaning forward more to hang off his every word. "I'm not a stupid man. I know it's only a matter of time before I'm back in a prison cell of some kind. And even if I weren't, you may not believe the sincerity of my words. But tonight, little bird, I want you to let me worship you."

Your eyes fluttered as his hand reached forward to cup your cheek, thumb caressing over your bottom lip. You had the strength to look him dead in the eye with one final warning.

"If this is a trick of any kind, Zemo, I won't hesitate to let Bucky rip you to shreds."

The laughter that leaves him fans over your face, drawing your eyes to his lips.

"I'd expect nothing less, Liebling."

His eyes still search your face. A gentleman, you realize. He's waiting for permission.

You lean forward to close the gap, slowly letting your mouth brush over his, tasting him for the first time, as your hand raises to card through the locks of hair in his face. Your body thrums with anticipation of what's to come, with the anxiety that this may be a dangerous move, with pure, undiluted arousal from his words.

Yet you break away gently, both hands cupping his face now as he looks at you, curious as to why you stopped, pleased that his initial seduction worked.

Your hands slowly travel down to his own, and you stand, backing towards the way you came when you first gave up on sleep for the night.

"Come on then. You want to show me what being spoiled is like?"

A grin curls its way onto his face as he spins you in his arms, twirling you so that your back is against his front, his arms around you, his breath hot in your ear.

"Little bird, I'll give you everything you crave and more."

#zemo x reader #zemo fanfic #helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo #helmut zemo #helmut zemo x reader #x reader #baron zemo x reader

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mrsmaybank · 3 years

Text

My Little Sun - Reid x Reader

“Ridiculously perfect.” I held her tighter as she looked up at me and our eyes locked, “I’ve fallen ridiculously in love with you.” “So my evil plan worked then?” She chirped.

CONTENT WARNINGS: AGE GAP, VIOLENCE, KIDNAPPING, PREGNANCY, STALKING, LANGUAGE probably the misuse of a Russian word IF THERES MORE LMK

A/N: Okay, let me be honest rq this idea lowk scared me but the words really just fell out of my brain really easily so, yk fuck it whatever. ANYWAY, if you like, please let me know!

pt 2, pt 3 “I love you Spencer.” The words immediately melted me.

“I know so many things.” She gave me an unapproving look.

“I don’t mean to sound cocky, but I do! Now for once in your life, listen to me.” She nodded her head in concession.

“I’ve just read more, I’ve written more, I’ve discovered and studied more than the average person. I could tell you a little bit about anything with one hundred percent certainty. I could--and want--to tell you the names of all the stars, I could recite verbatim the entirety of Prometheus Bound by Aeschylus or Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov, which you know, speaking of I will ‘cause I still can’t believe you haven’t read it,” Her smile flattened into a straight line, and I laughed. “Orrr, I could also tell you something simple, like why we get the hiccups.” I shook my head.

“Regardless, I know so many things and I’m rarely taken by surprise because of it. Everything in life is a pattern of change, and as a human, we will always adjust and adapt to whatever situation we are in. For better or worse, we don’t feel the same thing for very long. This is why an addict takes a couple more every time, a sadist hits his second victim harder than the first, they’re searching for the high of the first time, and it will never come.”

She nodded in understanding,

“I know this is true, it’s factual, and yet every time I look at you it feels like the first. You’ve broken the laws of human psychology.”

“First time you saw me was at a gas station Spencer.”

“No. The first time I looked at you after I knew I loved you.”

“Where were we?”

“My car. You were dancing. You looked ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously sexy? You mean?” She smiled.

“Ridiculously perfect.” I held her tighter as she looked up at me and our eyes locked, “I’ve fallen ridiculously in love with you.”

“So my evil plan worked then?” She chirped.

“It did indeed. You’ve become my solnyshko moyo.”

“Tell me that’s Russian dirty talk.” She said with a grin.

“It’s better. It’s a term of endearment you’ve become the epitome of.”

“And what’s that Dr. Reid?” she giggled.

“My little sun. You’ve become my little sun. Following me around and bringing light and warmth.” She snuggled herself impossibly closer into my chest, wrapping one of her legs over mine.

“Except for your feet!” I shrieked at her freezing toes meeting mine.

“They’re not that cold you big baby!” she shouted.

I laughed and kissed her sweetly, “I am not the baby here.” I said.

“Please,” she started until I interrupted her with a kiss, “If you’re not the baby,” I kissed her again, “That implies I’M the baby,” Kiss, “And I’m not a” Kiss.

“Shush baby.” I told her, but like always, she didn’t listen, instead sitting up to straddle me. My appreciation for her beauty was like how a prisoner appreciates freedom, and yet it was miniscule into what I found in her character. It blew my mind that a girl so perfect existed.

“Rarely do great virtue and beauty dwell together. Francesco Petrarch.” I started, my hands making their way onto her hips, “That makes you a rarity.”

“You’re spoiling me with nice words today Spencer.” “You’ve spoiled me. My frontal lobe is spoiled milk.” She laughed, wondering how I was going to manage to make this one romantic.

“That’s the part of the brain responsible for sensibility and logical thinking, and you, little girl, have positively ruined it. You make me stupid.”

“I ruined the genius Dr. Reid with the 187 IQ? Makes sense. I’m like, way smarter.”

“You are. So, so much smarter.”

“I want that in writing.” she poked my chest.

I pulled her down and kissed her forehead to whisper in her ear. “Not a chance.”

She pushed herself away and rolled her eyes at me like a bratty child does her nanny, and I continued, “ You’re smarter, but I’m more educated. I have more doctorates than you have years in university.”

“Whatever…”

I brushed the hair away from her perfect face, “You tired baby?”

She sighed and laid down, splaying herself on my chest, laying on me like I was the duvet. “Very.”

I held her impossibly close, breathing in her scent and counting every time her heart thumped, her bpm said she was relaxed. Oh god, I wanted her like this forever. Relaxed in my arms, where nothing could touch us but each other.

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“Must you work?” I sent the message to Spencer as I rolled over to his side of the bed in anticipation. I breathed in heavy, liking the way the pillow smelled like his laundry.

“Unfortunately.” he responded. “Think you’ll be home this weekend?”

“It’s not looking like it, little one. I’m sorry.”

I didn’t reply. I was too sad to reply. I knew it’d make him feel guilty, which I didn’t want to do, cause like, his job and saving people and shit is important. But, it still wasn’t fair! At all. There was something very important I had to tell him.

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Total darkness, and then way too much light. My head hurt and I couldn’t move. I was handcuffed to a wooden chair. There were chains around my torso and ankles. The room was a medical sort of bright. It smelled like bleach and rotting fruit. The walls were dilapidated, seeming to be made of tiles that were once white, but have turned yellow.

What the FUCK?

“Hello!” I shouted. My voice was so coarse it hurt. Shit. My head pulsed so badly it practically hurt to think, but I still racked my brain.

Where am I?

How’d I get here?

Why am I here?

I woke up again. Fuck, why can’t I think? Why can’t I do anything?

“Hey, y/n.” A woman’s voice. A very stoic, cold, sounding female voice.

I’m not alone. Thank god, oh my god, I’m not alone.

With the little strength I had, I lifted my head to see her. She wasn’t what I thought. She was alright, she wasn’t tied. She did this to me?

She took a sip from her silver flask, “Do you know who I am?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Typical.” She stood up and grabbed me by the hair, “You fucking disgust me.” Like, she said, she threw my hair away like it disgusted her.

She sat back down on the bench in front of the chair I was chained to, “My name is Brook Austen. I was a professor at Georgetown last year. Taught a couple seminars at your school, that little university you go to, the students there were nothing like mine. Not nearly as intelligent, but as expected, Georgetown is much more prestigious, obviously.”

I was confused, and she knew, but did not care.

“You’re not the brightest, y/n. Only slightly above average high school grades, strikingly mediocre academic performance now.”

Where the hell is she going with this?

“And you know it doesn’t surprise me, per say, because every man on this goddamn planet is a piece of fucking shit! But I thought that, maybe, just maybe, Spencer was different.”

She grimaced, “I thought he’d want more than just a pretty face! ‘Cause you might be prettier y/n, but I’m smarter.” Her words were laced with utter hatred.

Her demeanor changed, and it almost started to seem like she was talking to herself. “I'm older. I’m more successful. I’m fucking better.”

She approached me again, grabbing my face so I was looking her in those scarily light green eyes, and she wrapped her hands around my throat. “I’m fucking better then you! Better, better, better!” Every time she said better she shook my neck and gripped tighter so I couldn’t breathe.

“Stop! Please! Please stop!” I shouted, “I’m-I’m pregnant!”

She began to break down, “You’re pregnant?” A maniacal chuckle left her throat, “You’re pregnant?”

“Is it Spencer’s?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Wow.” She laughed once more, “Fucking wow.”

“How could Spencer choose this!? You’re nothing like him. You are a pathetic fucking college student. A fucking daddy issue ridden slut! I’m a celebrated academic, just like him!” Tears began to slip from her eyes, “How could he not choose me?”

This woman is NOT well in the head.

“You--you like Spencer?” I asked.

“You don’t get to ask the fuckin’ questions here.” She pulled a knife out of her pocket and held it to the tip of my chin, “I do. So you’re gonna answer them.” Or, she started manically laughing, “I’ll kill you.” She swallowed, “And your baby.”

I screamed at those words, “No,” I sobbed, “NO!”

I turned my head away so I didn’t have to look at the woman in front of me, there was a timed red dot blinking. A camera.

“Is that-- is that a camera?”

She nodded, “I want Spencer to see you and his child die.”

“He….No! No, please, No!” I choked on a sob and she smiled.

“He doesn’t know.” She paced, “He doesn’t even fucking know!”

She waltzed over to the camera and brought it closer to us, “Hey Spencer.” She began waving, “Hey Penelope. Aaron. Derek. Jennifer. Emily.”

Her demeanor changed once more, into that of a cheerleader of all things, “So, quick recap.” Brook pursed her lips, “Spencer your twenty three year old fucktoy is pregnant. Congrats!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N was two things I didn’t know she was this morning: In serious danger, and the mother of my expected child. I felt frozen in trepidation.

We all watched in horror as Brook greeted us. All by first name. She knew exactly what she was doing and it freaked me out even more.

“Reid, you need to step out.” Hotch grabbed my shoulder, “Now.”

I was sick with fear and ill with rage. I sat down because I could feel my knees go weak. Hotch started again, “We know who she is. We will find her. Y/N will be alright.” He paused, “So will the baby.”

I replayed the events of the live footage in my head, her screams of pain and terror, her trembles and confusion. I’d failed her. I’d failed her and now I knew I’d also failed our child.

JJ sat down next to me, “Spencer, when did you meet Brook?”

“I uh,” I wiped my face, “A year and four months ago. I did uh, I taught uh, I taught a string of seminars at Georgetown. It was biweekly. Her office was next to mine. We spoke for the first time when she offered me a coffee.”

“What did you say?”

“What do you think I said?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, I said yeah, I fucking like coffee.” I felt instantaneously guilty for cursing, and especially at JJ but I was too frazzled for it to last long enough to apologize.

“I know Spence, I’m sorry. Just keep going.”

“Then, the next week, we got lunch together.”

“Was it, you know, friendly?”

“What are you implying Jennifer?” I snapped.

“No Spence, we just need to know. You know that.”

“It was-- it was just lunch. A very normal colleague to colleague lunch. We talked about the school’s history. And uh, where we grew up. It was small talk.”

“Ok, was this the last time you spoke to her?”

“No. There was one more time. Y/N was there.”

“Tell me about it Spence.” She grabbed my hand,

I breathed out, “It was the next week I taught after lunch. About two hours before my class. I was lesson planning, and Y/N was doing homework on my desk. She came in. She asked if I wanted to go get lunch. She saw y/n and--Fuck.”

“What Spence? What?”

“She asked me who she was, but it was like, she didn’t want y/n to know she was asking. She thought she was…”

“She thought she was what?”

“A student.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“The truth. That she was my girlfriend.”

“Did you see her anywhere else after that?”

“No. She never came by my office again. When I would see her by chance, she would scurry away. It was strange.”

“Think really hard Spence. Did you ever see her again after you stopped teaching at Georgetown.”

I racked my brain, “Yeah. I did. It was two months ago. Three days after I proposed to y/n. She was getting a coffee at this coffee shop by y/n’s school.. I was bringing her some lunch”

“Spencer she's been stalking you. Your proposal was the stressor.”

“But--I’m a profiler. I would’ve noticed.” I stood up with a realization. “What Spence?” JJ asked, standing up as well to look at me.

“She’s been stalking her, not me. She knew I was a part of the BAU, she knew I would’ve noticed.”

“I’ll tell the team.”

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A/N2: If this doesn’t totally flop, I’ll write PT 2, that elaborates on the reader’s and Spencer’s relationship. I think through flashbacks from both Y/N and Spencer would be a cool way to explore their relationship and of course the whole reader being kidnapped thing plot could develop. Again, if you enjoyed this pls let me know!!

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ateezmakemeweep · 4 years

Text

broken (part 2).

san x reader

word count: 12k

angst, fluff (tw: mentions of domestic abuse and rape)

(part 1)

no matter how many times you tried to change your thinking patterns, you still classified your life into two parts: before the abuse and after.

you thought, after watching your ex-boyfriend being escorted out of the courtroom with a one-year prison sentence, that you wouldn’t be scared of him anymore.

you thought that moving out of the house and living in your new apartment would make day to day life easier, not needing to see the floor you were beaten on or counter you were forced to have sex on every day.

you thought that having san would make you feel happy and loved and enough. that having a whole new family unit consisting of seven other crazy boys and a crotchety old lady would be enough.

but as you sit curled up on the bathroom floor with tears in your eyes, you’re seeing you severely underestimated everything.

underestimated just how much trauma you still had to sort through and how badly that asshole really did mess you up.

six months ago:

“so we have the surveillance footage and witness testimony from your neighbors,” your lawyer explains gently, an older woman with kind eyes and soft-spoken voice that quickly transforms in the courtroom.

“but a personal statement, if you feel comfortable, would probably guarantee the harshest sentence.”

the harshest sentence being one year, a measly 365 days compared to the 1,825 he subjected you to every kind of abuse: sexual, emotional, mental, physical.

hitting and grabbing and slapping until your skin was littered with bruises and cuts.

talking so harshly to you that you believed dying was the best option, stripping you from any sort of confidence or self-esteem you once had.

making you feel completely inept and useless, solely viewing you as a piece of property he could boss around and use at his disposal.

you had left the office with shaking hands and a pounding heart, barely being able to dial san’s number before he answered after one ring.

this was the first appointment you’ve went to without him, insisting he can’t and won’t miss his midterm for this.

“hi, love. everything go okay?” he asks softly, with the sweet gentle voice that has quite literally kept you alive these past few months.

you don’t know what you did in another life to deserve san but you know that without him, you probably wouldn’t have made it this far. without his constant support and sweet reassurances, you wouldn’t have believed you could ever do this.

willingly tell police officers and lawyers about what happened to you, break down and expose yourself in such a way that always made you feel weak and pathetic.

admit aloud that, yes, you’ve been a victim of abuse and no, those bruises and scars on your body aren’t from clumsy falls into the wall or cabinet.

without him, accompanying you to the police station or lawyer’s office, where you knew jungkook was lingering, you would’ve never felt safe.

you would’ve broke down and took it all back, told them that you made it all up and to release him because he didn’t do anything wrong.

but he did so much wrong and you and san know that. the police and lawyers and judges know it too, several outbursts from the man in court and at the station proving that.

it’s what makes the thought of a personal statement so hard, having to look your ex-boyfriend in the face and watch him stare you down with not an ounce of remorse or sorrow.

san must know it too, if your silence through the phone tells him anything, and you can already hear shuffling in the background as he prepares to leave his class and head to your apartment.

“are you done with your test?” you ask first, voice sweet but mousy in a way that makes san’s stomach sink

he knew today was gonna be rough for you, he knew he should’ve asked his professor to retake the midterm next week.

“yes,” the boy answers immediately, knowing he’s about to run back into the classroom, circle c for the last three answers and haul ass to his car.

“san, are you-”

“i was done, it’s fine, y/n,” he confirms gently, feet moving and body desperate to rush toward your apartment.

because he knows after all of this time, you’ve learned to hold back your pain and suffering. years of practice and keeping tears at bay that he’s noticed have made these months difficult for you two.

and he hates knowing that you still wait till you’re alone to cry.

that even though every time you do, he wipes away every tear and holds you to his chest until you fall asleep, you still feel most comfortable being sad alone.

that you’re probably already home now, about to bury your face in a pillow and sob until you hear his car and wipe your cheeks clean like nothing is wrong.

but there’s a lot wrong.

a lot wrong with how you’ve been treated and how hard it is to move past it.

a lot wrong with the legal system that makes this painful journey even more exhausting, forcing you to recount memory after memory and answer question after question about the worst ordeals of your life.

that’s why san can’t help but turn in his test and rush out the door to his car, speeding off campus and onto the highway in hot pursuit of your apartment above the bakery.

it had seemed like perfect little place to get you back on your feet, the smell of freshly baked bread and pleasant bustle of regulars greeting you in the early morning hours.

there was no commute for you, just a walk down the stairs and through the yellow door of the bakery, where simple work waited for you.

“you just need to ring up the customers and maybe clean a table or two. most people take their things to go,” your boss had told you, a divorced mother of three who spent most of her life baking before she was finally able to open up a place of her own.

it was simple work but it was more than you’d done in years, something as little as small talk with regulars successfully draining you. filling you with a nervousness and fear that you’re still feeling even without your ex’s presence.

but it’s in the way a man yells on the phone about a business deal going sour while waiting for his morning coffee.

a woman chastising her kids saying that they won’t get to eat the cookies she’s buying after dinner.

the slam of the door when a harsh gust of wind howls from outside and rattles the small bakery with light blue walls and pictures of bread and desserts.

you don’t know how many coffees you’ve spilt or plates you’ve broken from jumping at the harsh sounds, realizing little by little how hard this transition was gonna be.

even with san and his friends and your boss and the crazy old lady who secured this new life for you in the first place, it’s still hard.

you can’t even imagine doing all of these new things alone, just living in such a simple way that the average person takes for granted.

but you suppose it’s not all simple yet, going back and forth between meetings with your lawyer and the police for the court date that’s rapidly approaching.

you can feel that the closer it comes, the harder it is to breathe.

the mere thought of seeing the man who hurt you for the longest five years of your life, sitting in front of you with not an ounce of remorse on his face. making this process even harder because how are you supposed to talk in front of him?

see clear as day that you’re not safe and you never will be.

that he’s gonna get out in a year, because that’s the harshest sentence possible without you being hospitalized or dead, and hurt you again. he’s never gonna stop hurting you because he always said you were his and he wouldn’t ever hesitate to-

you don’t even hear the jingle of san’s keys opening the front door or his softly spoken call of your name.

you’re only aware of his presence when you feel his warm, small hands cup your face, his thumbs rubbing over your wet, salty skin as he mutters your name lowly.

“hey, i’m here, i’m here,” he mumbles sweetly, tone soft and gentle the way it always is no matter what the circumstances are.

he plops down on the couch before pulling you into his lap, his hand rubbing up and down your back gently. you hear the quiet but firm “sh, sh, sh,” against your head, the sharp calming hums always in threes as an attempt to ground you.

you try to focus on his calming sounds and even breaths, the hand on your back so warm and gentle as he lulls your panicked body into a calmer state.

you bury your face in his chest and breathe in his scent, cologne and detergent mixed with his natural scent that lingers on your pillow every morning.

“i-i’m sorry.”

the words make his stomach plummet, tears burning his eyes because you never have anything to be sorry for. you never have anything to be sorry for and you say it all the time.

when you bump into him in the kitchen while making food together.

when you sit on the remote and change the channel by accident.

when you burnt the cookies one night and made the fire alarm go off.

he remembers that being one of the worse nights, the loud noises making you jump while also flinching away when he lifted his arm up to fan away the smoke. and then you immediately apologized again, cookies long forgotten before he grabbed your hand and led you into the living room.

he just held your hand as you both watched tv, his thumb rubbing over your skin before you spoke words so quietly, he almost missed them.

“i wish...i would stop doing that.”

he cranes his neck over to look at you, eyebrow raised and eyes soft as he looks at you questioningly.

he wants to tease and say that you’ve never burnt the cookies before but anytime you feel comfortable enough to talk to him like this, he never wants to say the wrong thing.

“i...i know you would never hurt me,“ you continue after a few moments. “and i know i’m just...scared easily, i guess. but it makes me feel bad,” you admit quietly, heart pulling in your chest as you look at the man beside you.

he has gotten you through the hardest times of your life, has been by your side every step of the way with no questions or complaints, and you haven’t been able to repay him.

not even with a plate of fucking cookies.

“you don’t have to feel bad, y/n,” san says gently, his hand reaching out slowly to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

your eyes close at his feather light touch and the way it makes your heart jump, his fingers lingering on you in a way that makes you feel so safe and content.

“and i know it’s hard to believe still but you have nothing to be scared of either. i’m not gonna let anyone hurt you again and i mean that.”

“but i feel like i’m hurting you,” you mumble softly, pulling your knees up as you rest your head on the couch cushion. his brows pull together as his eyes roam your face, a pout on his lips the more he looks at you in silence.

“you’ve helped me so much and i just...” tears fill your eyes as you struggle to find the words and breathe. you’ve only been living in your new house for two months now and almost every day, san has been here.

bringing you food, helping you clean and decorate, spending late nights with you watching movies, helping you through an inevitable fit of panic when your memories and life become too much.

he makes it easier to breathe and you’re scared that without him, you’re gonna stop one day.

“i just keep... taking from you. you get nothing out of helping me but you still do it anyway and i...you shouldn’t even bother, san. i-i’m not worth this time and i just want you to-”

“stop.”

he tries to keep the anger out of his voice knowing that all of this is what you’ve been told. you’ve been told your whole life that you weren’t enough, were only deemed worthy by a piece of shit who did nothing but hurt and berate you.

but it doesn’t make it any less hard to hear. to hear in your voice and see in your eyes that you truly believe you’re not worth the time he wants to put into you.

“you’re worth the time to me,” he says, voice gentle but firm in a way that makes a lump form in your throat. his finger reaches out to trace small circles on your hand, your eyes following it so he doesn’t see the tears building up.

“i like seeing you happy, y/n. and i wanna help you.”

your teary eyes meet his and you swallow the growing lump in your throat when you see the look on his face, soft and sweet in a way you still can’t believe is directed toward you.

“i feel like i need a lot of help,” you mutter, voice barely above a whisper as you think back to how day to day life is so challenging and draining.

the loud voices and the screaming kids and banging door that sends you into a panic. the broken dishes and tear stains on your pillow that are there more often than not after san leaves every night.

but san’s hearing each and every word right now, his heart panging in his chest at how vulnerable you are right now. how you let him see this side of you and continue to despite how hard he knows everything’s been.

“that’s okay,” he smiles softly, stopping the circles on your hand to intertwine your fingers. “i’m gonna be here as long as you need me, okay?”

you look up to meet his gaze and feel a tear slip down your cheek, a cry bubbling in your throat that you so desperately wanna let out.

but you also don’t wanna make san any more sad tonight, biting down on your lip as you nod your head before leaning on his shoulder.

you don’t see the smile that crosses his face or hear the content sigh that leaves him, his hand in yours and presence enough to lull you into a dreamless sleep.

“you have nothing to be sorry for,” he assures you quietly, looking over your face as he wipes at your cheeks. you meet his gaze and your eyes stay locked on one another, his thumb gentle and soft across your skin.

“did you do good on your test?” you squeak out after a few moments of silence, a smile breaking out across his face.

“of course i did, we studied all night, didn’t we?” he teases, referring to just last night when you helped him with index cards and read them all to him twice before promptly passing out on his chest.

a blush crosses your face as you look down in embarrassment, a sweet high pitched laugh bubbling out of him.

“it’s okay, don’t be embarrassed. your drool only ruined a few of them.”

“i don’t drool,” you mutter, a small smile on san’s face as he tightens his hold on you in his lap.

“did you eat yet?”

you shake your head as indistinguishable mumble leaves your mouth, curling yourself into his chest more as his warmth and comforting scent envelop you.

his lips brush against your hair in a small smile, quietly asking what you wanna eat even though he knows you’re gonna say you don’t care.

“whatever you want,” you mutter against him, the exhaustion of waking up at 5 am and the draining meeting with your lawyer catching up to you.

and san knows on days like these that chinese food and watching reruns of old cartoons is usually the thing you need to feel a little bit better.

pretend that just for a few hours, everything is okay and there’s nothing more pressing than spending the night together in what always turns into having a sleepover.

because just as you found it difficult to live in that house you once shared with jungkook, san finds it difficult to go back to that block every night.

stay just a few houses away from where he’s reminded of how you were treated while he was just a few feet away.

watching as the backyard once full of flowers becomes dull and colorless and every window reminds him of what was truly going on behind the walls of that house.

it’s one of the reasons why staying with you just makes sense. that and the fact that leaving you always proves to be the hardest part of the night together.

you with a pout and sad eyes quietly whining for him to stay and him being completely powerless as he throws himself down next to you and wraps his arms around your waist.

he’s not surprised when the same thing happens tonight, your eyes drooping and body slacking against him before he quietly asks if he should get going. you look up at him tiredly, eyebrows pulled together and one cheek red from you leaning on his chest in a way that makes him hold back a smirk.

“no,” you say quietly, your eyes roaming his face before you quickly realize he might want to leave you. the thought rips a pang of hurt through your chest but you can’t help but feel that might be the case.

you ripped him away from his test and cried on him all night. why would he wanna stay with you?

“unless you want to. i-i don’t wanna force you to stay here if you don’t-”

“of course i want to,” san responds, taking your face in his hands gently and allowing his thumb to run along your soft skin. “i was just checking.”

because he also never wants to overstep. make you feel too overwhelmed or smothered since if it were up to him, he’d never leave your side again.

his words and touch send relief through you, the panic and fear that attempted to break through quickly dying it. everything about him makes it so easy to be calm and comforted, a smile making it’s way on your face as you nod.

you place your head back on his chest, sighing contently when you feel his arm wrap around your shoulder a few moments later. you stare at the tv blankly, not sure how long you’re lost in thought about the conversation at the lawyer’s office.

“but a personal statement, if you feel comfortable, would probably guarantee the harshest sentence.”

could you really do that though? strip yourself to the most vulnerable degree and proclaim to a courtroom full of people how weak and defenseless you were for five years? how the man who’s gonna be seated just a few feet away over you had that much power over you?

would you feel better looking jungkook in the face and telling him that you’re gonna be strong and come out okay? that he won’t be able to hurt you anymore and will rot behind a cell for what he’s done?

or would you it make you feel worse? seeing him again and the blankness behind his eyes. the pity and sorrowful looks on the judge and court officers when your voice shakes and eyes brim with tears as you recall your old life.

you’re not even sure if san is awake at this point, his arm heavy around you and breaths even under your head but you can’t seem to stop your tired self from speaking.

“my lawyer suggested i make a personal statement.”

san doesn’t stutter under you, the only sign of him being awake when he hums lowly and gently pulls away from you. the bed dips next to you when he lays on his side, your eyes meeting just as he reaches out to smooth out a messy strand of hair.

“yeah?” he mumbles lowly, his soft eyes roaming your face. “how do you feel about that?”

the question, despite the serious tension in leaves in the air, makes you smile softly, remembering when your lawyer recommended counseling, you thought back to san waiting in the car and felt as if you already had all the support you needed.

he has the most patience and kindness of anyone you’ve ever met before and you can’t imagine trusting someone as much as trust him. have someone else hear you this vulnerable and genuine, see you cry and feel all the emotions that come with rebuilding your life after being a victim of domestic violence.

“i don’t know if i can do it.”

the words make san frown, holding himself up on his elbow as he looks over your face with concern. he can tell you’re tired, eyes hazy and drooping but he also can tell your mind’s been preoccupied.

more so than usual.

“i...i don’t know if i could do it with him there.”

“he’s not gonna hurt you anymore,” san reminds you gently, his hand creeping down in between your bodies to take ahold of yours. it’s soft and small and warm and everything about it makes you feel safe.

“i-i know. but...just him being there. watching me and hearing me say what he’s done when i know he has no remorse. and then telling more people how i let it go on for so long and-”

“you didn’t let anything go on for too long. it wasn’t your fault. y/n.”

tears burn your eyes as a lump forms in your throat, hearing those words from almost everyone in your life but still not having the ability to grasp it.

it feels like your fault, it feels like you’ve allowed yourself to be treated in a way you knew was wrong for far too long.

because now look at you. trying to rebuild your life but being panicked when the wind howls just a little too loudly outside.

you take a few deep calming breaks and swallow as you look at him, eyes hazy and glossy and threatening to close shut; you’re so tired but it’s like your brain never stops going these days.

“she said...it’d guarantee the harshest sentence. but shouldn’t the evidence be enough? the tapes and the witnesses? why- why do i have to keep going through this?” you whisper, voice shaky and tears building as you look at him. the sight alone makes san stomach sink, rolling his tongue between his lips anxiously.

“i just want it to be over. i don’t wanna keep recounting what happened over and over and over again. i... it’s so hard, san. it’s so hard and i feel like i can’t do it anym-”

your words break off as a quiet whimper leaves your mouth, crumbling against san’s body when he pulls you forward and wraps his arms around you. your head falls in the crook of his neck as his hand rests on the back of your head, breathing slowly and evenly as quiet hums leave his mouth.

“I know, baby,” san mumbles, his lips against your head as he presses a kiss to your hair. “you don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do, okay? no one can make you do anything.”

"you're hurting me, jungkook," your broken voice tells him, the cracks and pain behind it familiar to even your own ears.

you don't know how many times you've heard yourself like this. so desperate and defeated.

"i wish i didn't have to, babydoll," he says lowly, "but you never listen. you make me do this."

and you don’t even think about if you’re gonna regret it at the time. not use your own voice and speak up in front of the courtroom about what the man on trial did.

you can only think about his eyes watching you, your friends hearing your voice quiver and shake, the judge maybe not taking your words into account. it all seems too much right now, the crushing weight of anxiety and fear that’s making you feel too weak to do that.

“you made it this far. and it’s almost all over, okay?” san reassures, his hand stroking your hair as he tries to calm your cries. “if you wanna do it, i’ll be right there next to you. we’ll all be there for you and you’ll be safe the whole time. but if you don’t, that’s okay too. you don’t have to and everything will still be okay.”

and because it’s like the blonde just knows everything when it comes to you, everything is okay - or as okay as things can be under these circumstances.

your lawyer didn’t bat an eye when you told her you weren’t sure if you could do a personal statement, her hand on your shoulder as she gently tells you that it’s okay. that the harshest sentence would probably still be given, considering the unusual amount of evidence in a case like this.

you watched jungkook get taken out of court with a one year sentence, thrashing in handcuffs and cursing at you while you gripped san’s hand tightly.

you had foolishly thought watching that was gonna somehow heal you immediately.

no longer make you afraid or flinch at the smallest of sounds or movements, make you feel like now you can take san’s words to heart and feel worthy of the love he showered you with.

but it was with that love, you started to grow too dependent. let it consume you in a whole new way that made you feel like without san, you couldn’t breathe.

at first, he didn’t know what had triggered the episodes that followed three months after the trial.

it had seemed as if you were making a lot of progress over the past few months, truly happy and smiley without an ounce of fear in your eyes that had always seemed to linger.

you were working hard at the bakery, becoming closer with the regulars and even finding it easier to talk with them. they found you comforting and sweet, always greeting them with a warm smile and remembering how many sugars they got with their morning coffee.

the same warm smile you gave san when he told you he was visiting his parents for his mom’s birthday one weekend, sending him off with a loaf of bread and an array of cookies.

“don’t eat them all,” you teased lightly, side-eyeing mingi who was one of your many regulars and could also take your advice as he shovels rainbow cookies in his mouth.

“i won’t,” san smiles gently, looking in mingi’s direction and holding back a laugh upon seeing the boy.

he was probably the next closest person you came to trust since you all got to know each other, a soft spot for him ever since the moment he deemed sunflowers ‘sunnies’ during the darker times.

mingi was the happiness and innocence you think you must have had once. finding the good in everything and being happy just because the sun was out and dessert was on the table.

“and neither should you,” san chastises the younger boy, smacking him in the back of the head lightly. you smile softly at the exchange, holding back a snort as you clean off the table next to the bickering boys.

the arm around your waist a few moments later would’ve startled you had you not smelt san’s cologne, leaning into him and feeling grateful you’re the only three in the store right now.

you look over your shoulder and smile softly at him, heart stuttering at the look on his face. eyes full of such concern, you should know he’s about to ask you if you’re-

“are you gonna be okay tonight?”

he wasn’t ignorant of the fact, the same way you weren’t, that this is gonna be one the first nights you’ve spent alone in months.

not falling asleep to the gentle lull of his breathing or his arms around your waist. no one to be there if you wake up from a nightmare, where memories torment your body as you hear the shouts of your ex and feel as if your body is still being bruised.

san not being there to wake you with a gentle peck on the cheek before dragging you back to the warm bed when you try to get up for work.

but you have to be okay, right? you’ve been doing so good these past few weeks. and you’re an adult the same way he’s an adult, it’s ridiculous to think you guys would have to spend every night together.

“of course, silly” you poke him gently, smiling when his dimples poke out of his cheeks. “have fun with your parents. don’t worry about me.”

“i always worry about you,” he mumbles lowly, his lips ghosting over your hair as you push his chest lightly. he bites back a smile when he sees the blush on your cheeks, pulling away from him immediately so you can stick your tongue out at him.

and that night, it actually feels as if you’re okay.

you busy yourself by cleaning and cooking before passing out to the vampire diaries. your sleep is dreamless and calm, waking up to a good morning message from san consisting of a bare-faced, messy-haired selfie.

but a few days after his return is when he began to notice the little changes.

behaviors he thinks you weren’t even aware of that made his heart sink into his stomach; it reminded him so much of the first few weeks you were away from jungkook.

how despite the fear in your eyes, you clung to him because you knew he’d never hurt you. felt safe in his presence and sought him out when you were feeling uncomfortable or upset.

and he sees you’re back to the place right now, so obviously uneasy and upset despite the major progress you’ve been making.

it was like the second he came through the door, you had to be by his side. leaning your head on his shoulder as you watched your shows or grabbing his hand when he got up to go to the bathroom.

at first, he thought it was cute - your clinginess and obvious affection toward him. he thought it was sweet and it made him so happy, smiling softly and kissing the top of your head as he told you he’d be back in a minute.

but the more the weeks went on, the worse it was seeming to get.

you asking him after only a few hours of him at school when he was gonna be back. nightmares and bad memories haunting you when you’d fall asleep for naps in between your shift ending and his last class.

“baby... are you sure you’re okay these days?”

the words cause you to stop stirring the pasta in the pot, craning your neck to where san is sitting on the countertop.

he meets your gaze with a soft smile and extends his hand out to you, leaning down to press a kiss to your nose before pulling you up.

you squeal at the sensation, giggling quietly because there you two are just perched on the counter like two cats and no regard for the boiling pot of food beside you.

you giggle again when he places a kiss to your neck, tightening his hold around your waist.

he relishes in the sound of your laugh because it also seems like these days, he’s hasn’t heard it that much.

“i feel like i haven’t heard that in a while,” he mumbles against your neck, his lips lingering on your skin. he never wants to say the wrong thing with you or make you feel like you’re not doing good enough.

you pull back and look at him with a small pout, your fingers toying at the end of his shirt nervously.

“i...i’m okay though,” you tell him quietly, thinking it’s the truth even though you have felt off these days.

you didn’t know what it was though honestly. it’s felt like ever since san came back from his parents, you’ve needed him extra. clingy and needy and annoying in the sense that the poor man can’t even go away without you needing him.

and now he seems to know it, too.

maybe he doesn’t wanna do this anymore. maybe he didn’t sign up for months of you going back and forth, feeling great and confident one week and then back to being clingy and scared the next.

because you know it’s only a matter of time before two things happens: he gets sick of you and leaves or starts resenting you. doesn’t wanna waste his time with a battered woman when he could be wth fun and carefree college girls.

“have i been annoying?”

your blurted out question throws him off as much as it breaks his heart, immediately shaking his head as he cups your cheeks.

his lips fall into a pout and your eyes immediately fall to them, about to comment on it before he places a sweet, short peck on yours.

you two, despite your close and intimate relationship full of skin-ship, don’t kiss a lot. you can only count of one hand how many times san has kissed you on the lips, most of the time going for your cheek or head.

but you certainly don’t mind.

you think it’s good to take it slow, since everything else about your relationship is so intense. that’s why the times he does kiss you, you get filled with such a happy warm feeling that usually makes you feel better no matter what.

that’s how you know you’re not right. that suddenly, for some reason, you’re not okay again despite being so incredibly lucky that the people in you life now care about you.

they’re trying so hard to help you and it feels like you can’t repay them in any way.

“no, no, baby, not at all,” san says when he pulls back, his thumb gently rubbing your cheek. “i’m just concerned.”

the lump in your throat makes it feel like you can’t breathe, biting your lip harshly as you look up at the blonde.

“i love that you want me around,” he continues softly, his voice barely above a whisper as he looks down at you. “but i’m just...i also wanna make sure you’re okay.”

you nod your head as you take in his words, slightly calmed by them despite the way your mind is trying to tell you otherwise.

he loves that you want him around, he just said so. and he wouldn’t put up with you if he didn’t want to, right?

“i’m okay,” you assure sweetly, leaning into his touch just a little bit more. “i guess i just missed you.”

your cheeks flush at the soft, almost touched look that crosses san’s face, his lips falling into a pout as he tightens his hold on you.

“i missed you too.”

boiling liquid splashing onto the stove causes you both to look away, a squeal leaving your mouth as the foamy water overflows the pot.

“shit!” you squeal, jumping down from the counter to rush over and lower the heat. san watches from his spot with a small smile, chuckling lightly when you throw him a look.

“sorry,” he says sheepishly, a playful roll of your eyes causing him to jump down and hug you from behind.

he presses small kisses and laughs into the crook of your neck as you finish making the pasta, feeding him pieces from the pot to see if it’s cooked enough.

you eat on the couch and spend the rest of the night watching tv, a relatively calm and relaxed night that makes you feel much better than the past few days.

you think you just got so used to his presence, the comfort and warmth and light he provides by just being in your apartment and smiling at you.

you were scared by how attached you’d grown to him, depending on him in a way you think a person who has gone through what you’ve gone through shouldn’t.

but he’s so good and makes you feel loved. it’s such a different feeling than one you’ve ever experienced, after your family and friends and ex-boyfriend let you down time and time again.

you’ve never had someone like this before but you’ve also never tried to rebuild your life before. never had the chance to be your own person and make your own decisions - it’s something you’re still learning and that’s evident to everyone in your life.

but the next morning, a pleasant surprise in the form of mrs. kim comes bursting through the door and immediately lights your face with a smile; apart from san and mingi, she’s another person you’ve grown extremely close and fond of.

she’s the one who made everything possible, rebuilding your life with a new home and workplace. it’s why she always tries to push you further out of your comfort zone and into the real world with gentle prodding and much needed assurance.

she’s at the bakery for almost two hours before she pulls up a chair behind the register and gets that look in her eye you know all too well. it’s the look she gave you the day you accepted the apartment, insisting you take it and make it your own and to not even think about how to pay her back.

the look she gave you before the trial as she gave you strength, told you that you were strong and you were gonna get through this, with or without your personal statement.

and apparently it’s the look she gives you when she broaches the topic of you enrolling back in school.

“so what do you think?” she asks, tone carefree and excited like she’d been thinking about this for weeks. “is that something you’d wanna do?”

your immediate thought is yes. yes, yes, yes shout it from the rooftops yes. you miss school and learning and all the experiences that come with getting an education.

you once loved school and had so many aspirations but then your life apart. the prospect of an education or getting a job was dangled in your face as some sort of manipulation tactic.

that when jungkook went too far and left you especially bloody and bruised, he’d mentioned school like it was the answer to all of your problems as a couple. like that was his penance and would win him boyfriend of the year.

and mrs. kim must see the haunted look in your eye, replaying flashbacks and memories from how choices like that weren’t under your control for the longest time.

“listen to me, stop staying in there,” she says, flicking at your head and making you wince. “is that something you wanna do? yes or no?”

“yes but i-”

“but nothing,” the old lady says, wiping out an ipad the boys had been teaching her how to use for the past few weeks; the font is the biggest size you’ve ever seen and has a cat case on that almost makes you burst out laughing upon seeing.

“i was looking at the local school, it’s close and cheap but you could always get some financial aid, scholarships or even a loan,” she begins to tell you, eyes squinted and a wrinkle between her browns as she taps on the screen. “this shit is so hard, i’m still trying to learn. oh, great here it is, okay. look, they even have this major.”

you had mentioned once that you thought about a career in journalism to her, one night when you and her were making cookies in her house as the boys tended to her garden (because they were gardeners now, official, professional gardeners who only know how to plant sunflowers).

tears almost immediately fill in your eyes as you follow her pruny finger, licking over your lips so you don’t start sobbing.

she looks up at you after a few moments of silence and it’s promptly followed by her smacking your arm, a scoff leaving her mouth that makes you giggle.

“what are you crying about?”

the emotion clogged in your throat makes it hard to speak, attempting to talk through the strange contrast of tears and laughter bubbling in your throat.

“i just... i can’t believe you remember i told you that. it was so long ago.”

“what? you think because i’m old i don’t remember shit? i’m not a senile, y/n, jesus.”

a wet giggle leaves your mouth as you listen to her talk about the research she’s done, about how to pay and when you can start and her son’s experience at the local college.

it all makes you feel very hopeful, excited even, as you think about what once seemed impossible.

getting out in the world and pursuing a passion you as an individual had. making connections and just conversing with different people and seeing relationships form.

but all of those doubts and fears instilled in you don’t just go away.

you remember months back when you told san you were writing again, he was the one who recommended going back to school.

was so happy about it that his eyes were shining and dimples were out and you’d never seen someone more handsome.

but now that you guys are...kind of together, would his mind change? does he not want you talking to other people either now? will he think it’s silly or pointless, since you already have you job at the bakery?

you know deep down that that’s not the kind of person san is. you knew from the moment you met him and risked talking and smiling and laughing with him that he was good.

but that part of you still scared and broken from what you went through, the prospect of school and freedom dangled in your face as some sort of reward or apology, is scared he won’t approve.

and whether it’s unhealthy or not, all you want is san’s approval.

“c-can i ask you something?” you ask him later that night, both of you cuddled up on the couch.

a blanket’s thrown over your lap with san’s arm around your shoulder, your head now off his chest as you look up at him questioningly.

he immediately looks down at you with a soft, curious expression, running his hand through your hair as a small smile makes it’s way on his face.

“anything,” he hums lowly, already making your nervous body feel slightly more calm.

you have to try and always remember this is the boy who’s been by your side for months, with no complaints. who saved you from your life before this and only wants you to be safe and happy.

“i was talking to miss kim earlier today...” you begin, his interest already peeked because he thinks he might know where this is going; he was suspicious ever since the older woman asked him how to make the font larger on her ipad.

he sees the slight apprehension and fear in your eyes so he takes your hand in his, running his thumb over your skin gently and giving you a small, encouraging nod.

you take a deep breath and try to shake the worry off, opening and closing your mouth before deciding to spit it out.

“we...were talking about me going back to school. and i...kind of thought that would be something good for me to do. i used to love school and learning and mrs kim. said there’s a lot of things i could do to pay for it and stuff, if i needed to...”

his chest hurts slightly watching you stammer over your words nervously, your eyes moving from him to the wall as you start to unconsciously hold his hand tighter.

“but if you don’t want me to or think it’s a stupid idea, i won’t. i just...wanted to make sure it was okay with you.”

you don’t see the way san sits there in contemplation as you’re too nervous and toying with the edge of the blanket, his face sympathetic but also a little surprised.

there’s a lot of things that san is still getting used to, the way you’re so vulnerable and attached to him (in a way he doesn’t mind at all).

but it’s like right now he’s seeing the severity of it, watching as a grown woman asks for his permission for something she absolutely doesn’t.

it makes tears burn the back of his eyes but he quickly pushes the sensation and desire away, his hand lifting your chin so you made his gaze head-on.

“y/n...you don’t need my permission to do anything. you... you know that, right?”

your eyebrows pull together almost in confusion that he didn’t immediately respond with a yes or no, head cocked to that side as you lick over your lips nervously.

he can’t help but think if this was a fault on his part. did he make you feel like you have to ask his permission or approval for things? did he maybe at any point make you feel scared or judged when he’s been doing his best to avoid that?

your harsh grip on his hand brings him back to the conclusion that, right now, this isn’t about him.

whether he did that or not, he has to make sure right now that you know you’re your own person and don’t need to run decisions by him or anyone else.

“baby, i think it’s great you wanna do that and will support whatever you wanna do. but you don’t have to ask for...my permission to do anything,” san tells you softly, his hand cupping your face as he presses a kiss to your head; the words ‘his permission’ even feel gross on his tongue.

“i’m happy if you’re happy. and if going to school will make you happy, i’m gonna be supportive 100%. you got it, love?”

you don’t even know why you’re surprised by san’s reaction but it still brings tears to your eyes, only being able to nod before you bury your face in his chest.

he bites back a smile at the feel of you against him, running his hand up your back to gently rest in your hair.

“you still wanna study journalism?” he mumbles against your hair and again, you can only nod so you don’t let out the whimper threatening to leave you mouth.

because it still shocks you day after day that everyone in your life now truly seems to care.

they remember things about you and want to see you smile, always remind you that you can do whatever you want and are slowly making you see that, maybe, you will be okay in the end.

it may not seem like a lot to someone who’s been lucky enough to have these things but, for you, it’s something you haven’t ever had before.

the ability to giggle and smile and spend your night with someone who you can see really, truly loves you. who wouldn’t do anything to hurt you and always has your best interests in mind.

that’s exactly why when you fall asleep, san can’t help but turn to look at your sleeping form. he runs his hand through your messy hair, moving a strand from your face and feeling his heart lurch at how peaceful and innocent you look.

he still can’t get the thoughts out of his heads from earlier, wondering if, maybe, this whole time, he hasn’t been doing the right thing.

maybe these past few months, you should’ve been rebuilding your life on your own. he shouldn’t have been here every, single step of the way to sooth and coddle and protect you.

it was something hongjoong said just a few weeks after you moved in and he nearly attacked the boy, asking how he could let you cry alone every night and feel lonely and scared in a new place?

but he also knows that hongjoong is more logical than him. he’s always let his emotions get to him, empathetic and caring almost to a fault.

and with you, he was always even more clouded.

now, though, he’s seeing that maybe hongjoong has a point. he’s seen it in the way you’ve become more clingy and dependent on him, something he loves and makes him feel warm but also knows, for you, is a part of feeling safe.

and as hard as it is for him to admit, he knows you need to feel safe without him. slowly rebuild your own sense of self and security without him always being there to wipe your tears or kiss your face.

but how is supposed to do that? he thinks, watching your sleeping face with a pained chest and burning eyes.

he’s about to get up to get a glass of water before he hears you whine, both his feet not even on the floor before even in your unconscious you can sense his departure.

“going to get water, love, i’ll be right back,” he mumbles in your ear, kissing the side of your head when you still and roll back over.

he gulps down the cool liquid before resting his head on the cold fridge, letting out a sigh as he realizes he may need to have another discussion with hongjoong.

even more so when he goes back into the room and sees your face, the slightest hint of discomfort in your pinched eyebrows and frowning lips.

you turn back over when he crawls in the bed again, your head on his chest and arm wrapping around his stomach.

he smiles upon hearing your sleepy voice call his name, dazed eyes staring up at him as he kisses the tip of your nose.

“hi, baby. i’m back.”

“i love you.”

the confession make his eyes widen and heart speed up, shocked into silence at those three, sudden words.

because while it’s obvious that’s how you both feel for each other, your sweet touches and words exchanged since the moment you met one another, you two haven’t ever uttered that sentence.

never put it out in the open and really discussed your feelings for one another.

but your eyes are shut and breaths turn even before you can even hear his softly spoken, “i love you,” in return.

and it’s because he loves you that he tells hongjoong about the thoughts he’s been having, wondering if he’s been doing the wrong thing the whole time and just making this transition harder for you.

“i think you’re trying to make it easier because you love her and don’t wanna see her hurt anymore.”

san’s eyes meet hongjoong’s across the dining room table at their house, a house san hasn’t slept or eaten at basically since you moved out; everyone knew where he was and they understood it completely but they also missed their friend’s presence.

“but...she does need to learn to be on her own, san. she’s never done that before and she’s always been dependent on someone. luckily you’re just...so fucking good that it wouldn’t be a problem. but even with her asking you if she could go to school...she’s not okay, yet, san. she needs to sort her shit out.”

“i don’t want her to be alone,” the blonde admits, voice tight and eyes threatening to water. “i don’t want her to think i’m leaving her.”

“you’re not leaving her alone. you’re just not gonna be attached at the hip 24/7. it’s normal for couples to be apart. you still live and pay rent here, you know. everyone misses you.”

the sound of bickering and plates crashing promptly comes from the kitchen, mingi’s harsh yelp of wooyoung’s name causing a commotion of bickering to break out.

hongjoong looks at san with a half pained, half amused expression, knowing that the dimpled boy will have to readjust to how loud and chaotic the house is all the time.

“you don’t have to do right now,” hongjoong says, wanting to finish the discussion before the boys notice san is here and lost their shit. “ease her into it. talk to her about it. see if she feels the same way. but let her know you just wanna help her, because i know you do, right?”

san’s nod is immediate and hongjoong mirrors him, his eyes quickly widening as he looks over the blonde’s broad shoulder.

he doesn’t even get to turn around before a slew of bodies bump into him, nearly knocking him onto the floor as six large, excited boys are jumping and squealing around him.

“san! you’re finally home!”

you’re nearly two months into your first semester of college by the time you’ve fully adjusted to your new schedule and pace of life.

classes monday, tuesday and thursdays mornings followed by your shift at the cafe during the afternoons. you miss your early morning regulars dearly and don’t know what to do with the 10+ memorized coffee orders still in your brain but you already love school so much.

you love learning and talking with your professors and meeting the many different people on campus. you’ve even found a small group of friends, two girls who sat next to you and immediately started up a conversation with you.

you were terffied and shy at first but eventually opened up, giggling and sharing your thoughts with them before class started - you even always made sure to be 10 minutes early so you could get in your chats with them.

unsurprisingly, san had been nothing but happy and supportive for the entire journey. helping you apply and become familiar with the campus while also assuring you everything was gonna work out.

your days were busy and packed with work and you truly loved it but night was still your favorite. when san would walk through the door with take out or you’d be greeted with the sight of him waiting for you on the couch.

it really felt as if your life was finally coming together, happy and at peace in a way you never felt before. it was like you finally had some sort of control over what happened to you, long gone the feeling of knots in your stomach or an uncontrollable shake in your hands.

but when you notice san is a little more quiet than usual today, you feel that foreign feeling make it’s way back into your body.

“is...everything okay?” you finally grow the confidence to ask, his hand absentmindley rubbing your leg that’s sprawled out on his lap.

you can tell the question throws him off by the way he snaps his head up to look at you, brows pulled together and his head cocked cutely to the side as his eyes roam your face.

“’course love, why do you ask?”

“i don’t know,” you hum softly, leaning the side of your head on the couch as you look at him. “i feel like you’re quiet today.”

“just thinking baby,” he tells you, tightening his hold on your leg before looking your way. “how were classes today?”

“good, i have to start my essay soon,” you tell him, something uneasy still pulling at your stomach; you’re not used to san being quiet or so lost in thought, usually the only time he’s silent is during a new episode of your shows.

“you’ll do great on it,” he says encouragingly, the hand on your leg gently calmingly rubbing your skin up and down. “you’re doing really good, you know that?”

happiness fills you at the thought of making san proud, a small smile on your face that causes one his own to cross his face. his dimples poke out and it reminds you so much of your first meeting, when the sun reflected off of him and you just knew there was something too pure and good about this man.

“thank you,” you smile softly, a faint blush on your cheeks that has san’s heart breaking in his chest even more.

he doesn’t wanna have this conversation tonight but he thinks it would be the best time. bring up maybe not staying over every night to create some more space for you while also allowing you to be more independent. learning how to fill your time with things other than him.

but you’re so happy tonight.

you’ve been so happy these past few months and he doesn’t wanna be the person to ruin that; it seems, though, you can see something behind his eyes and in his demeanor already, your body wiggling closer to him as your gaze shifts nervously.

“are you sure you’re okay?”

he lets out a sigh and you can’t help the way your stomach drops, watching carefully as his face turns contemplative and torn. like he wants to say something but isn’t sure if you’re gonna be able to handle it.

and that alone is scaring the shit out of you.

the silence is probably only fifteen seconds but it feels like hours, your eyes staring wide and heart starting to race as you look at him; you don’t know what you did but you had to have done something, right? he wouldn’t just act like this out of nowhere.

“did i...do something wrong?” you ask meekly, that feeling of fear and panic you haven’t felt in almost a year creeping back. you almost forgot how debilitating this feeling is, fully consuming your body until you feel like you’re about to completely breakdown and crumble.

the fear and concern on your face immediately makes him frown, shaking his head adamantly as he pulls you closer to him.

“no, no, no, y/n, of course not,” he assures softly, his lips brushing against your head.

you feel his calming breaths in your hair, like he already knows from the slight waver in your voice and look on your face that you’re getting worked up and anxious.

the few moments of silence should make you more anxious but you can only focus on his breathing and the warmth from his body against you, trying to stay calm as you remember that this is san and he would never do or say anything to hurt you.

“i’ve just been thinking about some things and i wanna talk to you about it,” san says, breaking the silence and immediately making your stomach flip nervously. “it’s nothing bad, baby, i just... you know i always have your best interest in mind, right?”

you swallow the lump growing in your throat as you turn to look at him, the soft look in his eye making you happy as much as it makes you sad.

because while you love seeing it, how sweet and thoughtful and truly kind he is, you know it’s also there because he thinks you’re about to lose your shit. and you haven’t lost your shit in quite some time.

“i-i know...”

he takes your face in his hands when your eyes start to wander, the quiet hum leaving his mouth making you look up at him again. the look in his eyes truly stirs something in you, tears burning your eyes even though you’re not even sure why yet.

“and you know i’ll never, ever hurt you?”

you nod again, feeling panic deep within your chest at where this conversation seems to be going.

“so what i’m about to suggest, i need you to hear me out, okay?”

he waits until you nod, his stomach sinking at the glossed over look in your eyes before he daringly opens his mouth again.

tells you that he thinks you living on your own while you start a new chapter of your life will be a good thing for you both. that learning to be independent and on your own will help you immensely in this new part of your life.

“you’ve been doing so good, y/n, and i’m so proud of you. you’ve started school and you work full time and you’re doing all the things you want to do. but we’re together all the time, baby, and i...i don’t know if that’s healthy, for either of us, you know?”

and you think to the average person, who hasn’t been abused and neglected and spent the last five years in normal, healthy circumstances, they would hear this and understand immediately.

that being alone and learning how to be on your own is a good, healthy thing that everyone needs to experience.

but all your brain can hear is he doesn’t wanna be with you anymore.

he’s tired of your brokenness and tired of looking after you all the time and needs some space from you; and while, you suppose, you can’t blame him, it doesn’t hurt you any less.

it doesn’t terrify you or upset you any less, even though you know his intentions are good; you can only feel unwanted and unworthy and like your time with someone so much better than you is up.

“is it...i just...do you not like it here? with me?”

did you not keep it clean enough? did you not cook enough, were the meals too frequently takeout and leftovers? you remember jungkook hated that, demanding the house be spotless and dinner be ready and homemade.

san would laugh at the question if this weren’t the current situation, a serious talk he’s been dreading having because he knows how you’re gonna take it at first.

but he loves being here and that’s the problem.

he would coddle you and love you and protect you for as long as you let him if it were up to him. but he knows that’s not what you need anymore, that you’re both not helping anyone if you continue to live your life in what became too comfortable and safe.

you deserve comfortable and safe but you also deserve to live happily and freely by yourself. and maybe that’s not his decision to make, he often thinks, but he certainly doesn’t think he’s helping you by enabling you to depend on him.

“baby, i love it here and i love you and i’ll never leave you until you tell me to,” san says, pressing a kiss to each cheek he prays tears don’t fall on in the next few minutes. “but i want you to be okay, love. i don’t want you to need me every night to sleep or think you need to ask my permission for things that are your choice.”

“is that- is that what this is about? that i asked you if i could go to school?” you ask meekly, the idea of talking back foreign but something you can’t control right now. “or is it because i’m in school?”

because maybe you’ve been too busy. maybe he feels like you neglected him. maybe he just wanted an out and this is it.

“of course it’s not because you’re in school,” san says, slight outrage in his voice as you even suggest that; he always tries to control his responses to you, knowing you’re dealing with years worth of manipulative behavior and maltreatment, but sometimes it does also get to him.

he was always supportive of your career and education, even when you were just friends and he admired you from afar.

“how could you think that?”

“because this is so random,” you squeak out, tears breaking through as the knot in your throat grows bigger. “i...i didn’t even know you were feeling this way and now you wanna stop seeing me.”

“i don’t wanna stop seeing you, y/n, when did i say that?” san asks, cocking his head to the side as he looks at you contemplatively.

“you said you don’t want to be together all the time...” you mutter out, feeling stupid and childish but not yet truly understanding what he means. you guys don’t fight at all and you’re always smiling and laughing together - isn’t it okay to be together all the time if good things like that are happening?

“y/n, i love you, of course i wanna still see you. but i just mean...living together the way we have these past months. you’ve never been alone. you’ve always depended on someone, right?”

you think back to your dysfunctional childhood, depending on alcoholic parents who never taught you how to fend for yourself until you fell into the arms of yet another abuser who you depended on even further.

restricted company and meals and communication, even restricted in what you could do outside the walls of your house.

“yes,” you nod, sniffling as you wipe at a stray tear on your cheek. “but they’ve only ever hurt me. you never do.”

that fact makes san’s chest pang with hurt, his own eyes burning with tears now as he thinks about how much pain you’ve endured.

“i know, baby, and i never will. but i think this’ll be good for us. good for you, mostly, that’s always my mian concern.”

but you start to wonder how this could possibly be good the second the front door closes a few hours later, leaving you alone in your apartment that now feels far too cold and far too dark and far too empty.

his lack of presence is noticable immediately and it doesn’t take long for panic and sadness and all that existential dread you once felt so deeply start to come on.

he doesn’t want you, nobody wants you, and the only people who did want you hurt you.

it’s a mantra you repeat in your head as you cry silently, splashing your face with cold water after your puffy eyes can’t take it anymore. and when you get a good look at yourself in the mirror, tear-stained and blotchy and a big fucking mess, you can’t help but see that same girl who was trapped in that house with jungkook.

weak and afraid and horribly incapable of doing anything right. so similiar to the current state you’re in now, sinking down on the bathroom floor and crying into your hands again.

this could be about san leaving, you know it has something to do with it, but you’re also crying because you now see just how badly you’re still effected by everything.

you could be distracted by school and work and san but there’s still so much under the surface that you haven’t come to terms with.

so much so to the point that even san had to step in and do something about it, him still seeing signs that you’re not okay despite how much everyone in your life is trying with you.

and it makes you feel bad that you have so many supportive, lovely people in your life but still can’t find it in you to feel okay. to not depend on one singlar blonde man to make you feel happy or act as if without him, you’re gonna break.

because you can see he’s tired of it. if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have-

“y/n?”

his voice coupled with his fist hitting the door causes you to jump, at first thinking it’s a bittersweet trick your deluded little mind is playing on you. but then he knocks again, his sweet murmur of “y/n, please open the door,” causing you to cry out again.

hongjoong told him not to go, that he’d barely been home for an hour before he was already itching to rush back to you.

but he felt uneasy leaving the way he did in the first place, and then even more so when you didn’t answer his three messages and two facetime calls; he hated thinking that you were crying alone or feeling upset.

and it’s heartbreakingly evident when you reach up to open the door, curled up on the floor in tears, that that’s exactly how you feel.

“baby, no,” san hums lowly, immediately dropping to the floor so he can gather you in his lap.

it’s so much like the scene when you ran there after the final incident with jungkook, when you collapsed on the floor and finally told somebody about what you’d been going through.

what happened?" he asks desperately, voice strained and wavering.

but you can only shake your head and cry. cry for how long you've been dealing with this alone and how you feel trapped and how if you don't tell someone tonight.

"he's gonna kill me," you sob out as you shake your head frantically now, "i-i he's gonna kill me," is all you can repeat through ragged breaths.

san can only act on instinct, sitting down cross-legged and holding his arms out slightly before you crash into him. he shakily inhales when your head rests on his shoulder, sobs muffled by his shirt as he feels tears promptly soak through the material.

but he can only sit there, hand on the back of your head as he rocks you soothingly in his lap back and forth.

he listens to your sobs with a broken heart, tears stinging his own eyes because he had suspected something was going on for months and just sat here and did nothing. and now here you are, broken and bruised and in fear for your life.

"i can't go back there," you cry out, "i-he's gonna-"

"no one is gonna hurt you, anymore," he mumbles lowly in your ear, "i'm not gonna let that happen."

“you’re- you’re gonna leave me,” you whimper into his shirt, the only sound in your bathroom for the past few minuets your crying and his soothing hums. “you’re not gonna wanna deal with me anymore and leave and then i’ll really be alone and i’m so-”

“i’m not going anywhere. i’m not gonna let that happen,” he mumbles in your ear, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he presses his lips to your head. he rocks you back and forth so similarly to that night, his hand running up and down your back as he tries to get you to calm down.

“we’re gonna get you help. real help. and we’ll all be here for you whenever you need us. you’re gonna be okay, my love.”

one year later:

you look back at the breakdown in your bathroom and are always surprised that you don’t feel embarrassed.

you think that was the moment when you finally realized how much you’d gone through and how much you really had to sort through. that you could distract yourself all you want and depend on san as much as you felt you needed but you still had things to work through.

it took you about four therapist consultations to find the right one, eventually finding a sweet older woman who reminded you so much of your boss at the cafe. she listened to you and encouraged you and helped you find so much strength within yourself, you regret not taking your lawyer’s advice sooner about seeing a professional.

you still had bad days, of course, but now you’ve learned how to properly cope with them. cope with the stressors of everyday life, like the shouting of voices and the slamming of doors and san not being by your side 24/7.

and san, little to your surprise, had done the right thing in saying you needed to learn to be independent.

it scared you at first, living alone and being alone with your thoughts and memories that tried to haunt you every chance they got. but now your life is so full of happy ones that it makes everything a little bit easier; you now love the freedom of living alone and have come to enjoy the peaceful silences of your apartment.

you now have so many things to laugh and feel happy about, like mingi and seonghwa’s obsession with gardening (even though they’ve moved on to vegetables now and have yet to combat the battle with squirrels eating their tomatoes).

you have school and classes and friends that you made, making straight a’s while also balancing time with your study group, the boys and mrs. kim and your official boyfriend san.

there are still some days when you wake up and feel a sinking feeling in your stomach that you think might be there forever, a certain smell or certain pain richoetting through your body that will remind you of what you went through and survived.

but you know that you’ll be able to get through it, not only because you’re strong enough now but because you still have san to lean on - the boy in question currently with his arms wrapped tight around your waist and snoring down your neck.

you can’t help the small smile on your face as you turn in his hold, your finger reaching out to trace the contours of his face.

the warm, overwhelming feeling in your chest should scare you but it makes you feel even more happy and content with life, shutting your eyes immediately when his brown eyes meet yours.

his loud chuckle fills the room before he lips attack your neck, quiet giggles leaving your mouth that only spur the blonde on more.

“i saw that,” he mumbles playfully, smiling against your skin as your giggles get louder. “good morning, baby.”

you pull back and smile at the boy staring down at you lovingly, the late-morning sun beaming through your window reminding you so much of the first time you saw him.

heard his sweet, friendly voice that you immediately trusted and probably fell in love with right there.

"those are coming out really nice!" you hear a voice say from the yard next door.

you shoot your head to the side to see a young man standing there, probably about your age, eyes kind and dimples poking out of his cheeks as he holds an overflowing white garbage bag.

your lips quirk up ever so slightly, probably being mistaken for your mouth twitching before you give him a tiny bow.

"thank you."

tag list: @mochibabycakes @atinyarmyx1 @middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich @minbinwhore @chrryhwa @chogiout @marksflvr @bunbaebae @markleeyeosang @inkigayeo @nlost21 @toffee-hwa

#the italic flashbacks always get messed up on mobile!!!#srry hope its not confusing #san #san angst #san fluff #ateez #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #san scenarios #ateez imagines #san imagines

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silent-to-forbidden-hollywood · 2 years

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M (1931)

In Berlin, a group of children are playing an elimination game in the courtyard of an apartment building, using a chant about a murderer of children. A woman sets the table for lunch, waiting for her daughter to come home from school. A wanted poster warns of a serial killer preying on children, as anxious parents wait outside a school.

Little Elsie Beckmann leaves school, bouncing a ball on her way home. She is approached by Hans Beckert, who is whistling "In the Hall of the Mountain King" by Edvard Grieg. He offers to buy her a balloon from a blind street-vendor and walks and talks with her. Elsie's place at the dinner table remains empty, her ball is shown rolling away across a patch of grass and her balloon is lost in the telephone lines overhead.

In the wake of Elsie's disappearance, anxiety runs high among the public. Beckert sends an anonymous letter to the newspapers, taking credit for the child murders and promising that he will commit others; the police extract clues from the letter, using the new techniques of fingerprinting and handwriting analysis. Under mounting pressure from the Prussian government, the police work around the clock. Inspector Karl Lohmann, head of the homicide squad, instructs his men to intensify their search and to check the records of recently released psychiatric patients, focusing on any with a history of violence against children. They stage frequent raids to question known criminals, disrupting underworld business so badly that Der Schränker (The Safecracker) calls a meeting of the city's crime lords. They decide to organize their own manhunt, using beggars to watch the children. Meanwhile, the police search Beckert's rented rooms, find evidence that he wrote the letter there, and lie in wait to arrest him.

Beckert sees a young girl in the reflection of a shop window and begins to follow her, but stops when the girl meets her mother. He encounters another girl and befriends her, but the blind vendor recognizes his whistling. The vendor tells one of his friends, who follows Beckert and sees him inside a shop with the girl. As the two exit onto the street, the man chalks a large "M" (for Mörder, "murderer" in German) on his palm, pretends to trip, and bumps into Beckert, marking the back of his overcoat so that other beggars can easily track him. The girl notices the chalk and offers to clean it for him, but before she finishes, Beckert realizes he is being watched and flees the scene, abandoning the girl.

Attempting to evade the beggars' surveillance, Beckert hides inside a large office building just before the workers leave for the evening. The beggars call Der Schränker, who arrives at the building with a team of other criminals. They capture and torture one of the watchmen for information and, after capturing the other two, search the building and catch Beckert in the attic. When one of the watchmen trips the silent alarm, the criminals narrowly escape with their prisoner before the police arrive. Franz, one of the criminals, is left behind in the confusion and captured by the police. By falsely claiming that one of the watchmen was killed during the break-in, Lohmann tricks Franz into admitting that the gang only broke into the building to find Beckert and revealing where he will be taken.

The criminals drag Beckert to an abandoned distillery to face a kangaroo court. He finds a large, silent crowd awaiting him. Beckert is given a "lawyer", who gamely argues in his defense but fails to win any sympathy from the improvised "jury". Beckert delivers an impassioned monologue, saying that he cannot control his homicidal urges, while the other criminals present break the law by choice, and further questioning why they as criminals believe they have any right to judge him:

What right have you to speak? Criminals! Perhaps you are even proud of yourselves! Proud of being able to crack into safes, or climb into buildings or cheat at cards. All of which, it seems to me, you could just as easily give up, if you had learned something useful, or if you had jobs, or if you were not such lazy pigs. I can not help myself! I have no control over this evil thing that is inside me—the fire, the voices, the torment!

Beckert pleads to be handed over to the police, asking: "Who knows what it is like to be me?" His "lawyer" points out that Der Schränker, presiding over the proceedings, is wanted on three counts of manslaughter, and that it is unjust to execute an insane man. Just as the enraged mob is about to kill Beckert, the police arrive to arrest both him and the criminals.

As a panel of judges prepares to deliver a verdict at Beckert's real trial, the mothers of three of his victims weep in the gallery. Elsie's mother says that "No sentence will bring the dead children back" and that "One has to keep closer watch over the children". The screen fades to black as she adds, "All of you".

#peter lorre #classic movie stars #golden age of cinema #german film #classic horror #classic movies #classic cinema #1930s film #1930s movies #1930s cinema #1930s horror

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jessilynallendilla · 4 years

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To get through the quarantine here’s a super long list of Hobbit/LOTR/Silm fics

Let me know if links aren’t working and feel free to add more

(check the original post as I update the list)

Please read the tags before reading some have sensitive content/are unfinished

Kili/Tauriel Centric

Stolen Heir

Who is Kili's father? He doesn't know. Thorin doesn't know. Dis knows. She's not telling. What happens when he finds out that she left and didn't tell him she was carrying his son? Alternative Ending to BOFA. Family drama!

Paths in Starlight

Kili has never set foot in the magical land he was born in, but the search for a fallen star leads him beyond the Wall and into world of Arda. The star he finds is not what he'd thought she'd be, and Kili is pulled into an adventure that takes him over hill and through the air, joins a crew of Sky Pirates to help them aid their King, and finds out the truth about his family.

Take a Bow

Tauriel has been a prisoner in Erebor since returning a gravely-wounded Kili after the battle. Now finally she is permitted to stand before the Dwarven court and tell her truth; to save her life, to show why she wants to stay.

King Under the Mountain

Or the one where Kili survives the Battle of Fives armies but has to learn to live without his brother and uncle and to accept the throne.

All Those Who Wander

Kíli goes on a simple diplomatic trip to all the elf kingdoms. Of course, because Kíli’s involved, it quickly becomes anything but simple.

Dare You to Move

Each year since their victorious alliance, the respective Kings and Councilmen of Erebor, Dale, and The Woodland Realm gathered together in one of their great cities for the duration of five days. During this time they would spend the daylight hours debating and discussing the maintenance of their alliance, and then by night the people gathered together to celebrate. In the midst of the complex political negotiations, Prince Fili learns what it means to be a great King from the one person who just might be his Queen, while Kíli and Tauriel struggle to keep their illicit relationship hidden from those who would keep them apart.

Think of all the Places We Could Go

Kili woke, panting, to have his mother fuss over him and his brother sit and sharpen his swords on the chair adjacent to his bed. “Are we dead?” were the first words out of his mouth, prompting his brother to laugh and his mother to look at him strangely.

Silver Starlight, Burning Bright

Once upon a time, there was a hidden kingdom in the woods. There are not many stories of this hidden kingdom, as they were a secret and private people. There is one story, however, about a prisoner and jailer.

Erebor Restored

The Lonely Mountain is reclaimed. Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli recover from their wounds while Dáin makes himself at home.

Land of What Might Have Been

Five years after the Battle of the Five Armies, Fili sits on the throne as he struggles to help his family and his people. Kili is lost without his love, the elf maid Tauriel who was injured before the battle and disappeared. What becomes of a dwarf who has lost the love of his life?

Flowers Among the Fallen Leaves

Bilbo Baggins returned home in mourning after the Battle of the Five Armies. All of Middle-Earth knew that Thorin and his nephews had fallen in the battle. It seemed that all that was left to him was a quiet, lonely existence in his empty smial. Then fate in the form of a pregnant Silvan Elf came knocking at his door one night. Bilbo Baggins, it seemed, had never been meant for the quiet life.

A Frank Conversation (Is Easier Said)

He always loved making Tauriel laugh. For all the time Kili spent trying to understand the woman before him, he had come to cherish the moments of simplicity. There was nothing complicated about a laugh. Smiles were trickier, but laughter—that required no translation.

Waiting

Kili hasn't kissed her yet, and Tauriel doesn't know why.

Love is Never Wrong (Together We’ll Make it Right)

With a little help from a nosey wizard, things might just work out for a prince of Erebor and a Captain of the Mirkwood guard.

Beneath the Stars

After the Battle of Five Armies and the Slaying of Smaug, King Thranduil held a feast in honor—grudging honor, but honor nonetheless—for the King Under the Mountain. Tauriel had mixed feelings about this feast because it meant that Kili would be in attendance. There was a part of Tauriel that wondered if the connection they had formed was indeed some dream.

The Lesson of the Moth

The battle is over. Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain, is dead. His nephews still live, even if the life of one hangs in the balance. Tauriel too has survived, although what that means for her, she is not altogether sure. Choices are made, and promises are kept, though not without hardship. Sometimes the best course is to forge your own path, even if it takes you far from all you know.

Together Forever

Alternate ending to BOTFA. Kili and Tauriel are able to slay Bolg, but the battle leaves her badly injured. Further complication arise when King Thranduil blames the two for the death of his son and Kili is willing to lay down his own life to ensure her survival.

The Line of Durin

How do you build a new life when you're supposed to be dead? Three new royal tombs in Erebor, but two are empty. Kili, Fili, Bofur and Tauriel are on the move. Now what?

Starlight and Firemoon-Part 1

They walked in starlight, under a firemoon.

The Five Wives of Kili Durinson

The bride thought he understood. The groom thought he did too. Cultural misunderstandings abound. Now what?

So Comes Snow After Fire

In the weeks since the battle, Kili has kept his meetings with Tauriel secret. Yet when a fierce snowstorm looms, he would rather dare Thorin's displeasure than leave the exiled elf unsheltered on the mountainside. Once Tauriel enters Erebor, of course, it is only a matter of time before her feelings for the dwarven prince are discovered. And despite Kili's hope that there is a place in his life for all those he loves, he may soon have to decide whether his loyalties lie with his kindred or an elf.

Innikh Dê

In the aftermath of the Battle of the Five Armies, is there anyplace that will shelter an exhausted prince of Durin and an exiled Woodland Elf? Perhaps Lord Elrond's magical city of Imladris will offer Kili and Tauriel a haven as they prepare to have their first child. Or does the promise Kili made to his mother to return to her take precedence? In either case, Kili and Tauriel know the path won't be easy, but neither of them expected that so many Elves, Dwarves, Orcs, and Wargs, much less a wizard and a hobbit, would be on that path with them!

The Heir Apparent

Tauriel saves Kili's life during the Battle of the Five Armies and alters the course of history, forever.

Elf-Friends

After the Battle of Five Armies, Fíli is stuck running Erebor while his brother and uncle recover. However, things are somewhat mixed up with the arrival of Tauriel, banished from Mirkwood and carrying a secret. If Thorin can forgive Bilbo, though, surely he can be convinced to accept an elf?

In the Moonlight

Tauriel and Erebor

The Poison in Your Veins

She is guardian to a besieged and rotting dynasty, duty-bound and well served by her predator's instincts. He is one of Durin's Folk, hunters of renown until calamity destroyed much of the bloodline and cast the survivors from their home. Their descendents roam the land, carrying on the fight as best they can while hiding the secret that once made their kind so formidable.

A Promise Kept

He made a promise, and she returned it. But in trying to save Kíli's life, she caused his death. Or so Tauriel thinks until she returns to Erebor to throw herself on the mercy of her unborn child's only kin and discovers that sometimes love outlasts death. But can it remain unchanged by the harsh realities of life?

Spring After Winter and Sun on the Leaves

After their wedding, Tauriel and Kíli will share their most exciting adventure yet: raising a child. But blissfully happy as they are, becoming the parents of the world’s first dwelf isn’t easy. No one is certain a half-blood child is even possible, but prejudiced dwarves don’t want to let Kíli live to find out. As even darker forces take an interest in Kíli’s unusual heir, others are put danger, including Fíli and his bride, Sif. All Kíli and Tauriel want is to start a family, but they may end up having to save Erebor, too.

Marriage of Choice

Kili had always been the spare prince. Always been the Golden Heir's shadow and companion. He knew his purpose and place. After retaking Erebor, he's surprised and just how much his life changed because of it. Tauriel believed she would be captain of The Greenwood's guard for the rest of her life, expected to die in battle for her king. But she's been banished and everything has changed. Elves don't like change.

Bilbo/Thorin Centric

Finding Purchase

“What are you doing in here?” Thorin gestured around the audience-chamber as he approached, his half-smile obvious even at a distance. “I mean, my throne is yours if you want it, ghivashelê, you know that, but in the middle of the night?”

The Seven Gifts

Thorin had his crown off. This wasn’t an uncommon sight to Bilbo. Even though Fili had crafted his uncle a new crown, the weight of it still made him wary. Bilbo was not as used to seeing the dwarf’s hair gathered together in a braid that spilled over his shoulder. Or the spectacles perched on his regal nose. He would deny the ache of his heart in that moment.

Sansûkh

The battle was over, and Thorin Oakenshield awoke, naked and shivering, in the Halls of his Ancestors. The novelty of being dead fades quickly, and watching over his companions soon fills him with grief and guilt. Oddly, a faint flicker of hope arises in the form of his youngest kinsman, a Dwarf of Durin's line with bright red hair.

Battle of the Mind and the Heart

Thorin, Kili and Fili, and the others survived TBOTFA but Bilbo does not know this thinking Thorin died in his arms ...and now as the dwarves make the trek back to the shire to show their burglar that they are okay, the other hobbits of the shire have to deal with a rapidly mentally deteriorating Bilbo and the dwarves will not like what they bear witness to when they get there

Marriage of Necessity

In a desperate attempt to make sure someone he trusts rules over Erebor, Thorin marries Bilbo on what will probably be his deathbed, as well as that of his heirs. When all three Durins survive, Thorin's marriage to Bilbo comes under scrutiny. Not everyone is happy with it.

Reclaiming Erebor…Again

Bilbo is sailing to the Undying Lands but wary of letting go of the guilt that has been with him for many decade. His most sincerest wish is to go back and change what was done. Before reaching the lands of peace and healing, he dies aboard the ship and finds that his wish is being granted but not because he is the one to wish it. He finds that not only is he going to be sent back to his younger body, but so is the entire Company of Thorin Oakenshield. Time is a fickle thing and not all the members have their memories returned to them at the same time. The journey on becomes interesting as the dwarves slowly remember and fight for themselves and their kin, yet for some reason they are not the only ones to remember.

Hiding Myself

Bella Baggins is a perfectly normal, respectable Hobbit living alone in Hobbiton. That is, until Gandalf the Gray arrives at her house looking for someone to share in an adventure. When thirteen dwarves show up at her doorstep, she stupidly agrees to go with them to reclaim their homeland. Thorin Oakenshield, the moody and brooding Dwarven king, has managed to capture the unwanted affections of the Company's burglar. But one thing nobody knows is that their burglar is hiding a secret from them all that may destroy everything or change the way dwarves think for a very long time.

To Love a King

"“I never assumed that I could – that he could -,” Bilbo tried feebly. Dain leaned in close enough for Bilbo to feel his hot breath over his face. “He could never have cared for you. Was he not clear enough when he threatened to cast you to your death?” Bilbo pinched his face up in pain and clenched his hands into fists. Dain smiled triumphantly.

Buried Coals

After the Reclaiming of Erebor, life was supposed to settle down. Things were supposed to be simpler once there weren't people trying to kill them and things trying to eat them and so on and so forth. Things didn't get any simpler, but after the whole Tauriel incident, and after Dain got the snot beat out of him, things seemed to settle a bit. Billa should have known it wouldn't last.

At Last

Thorin Oakenshield has spent twenty long years alone with his broken heart, he has spent twenty long years learning to live with what he has done and what he caused, and he has spent twenty long years thinking that Bilbo hated him. But miscommunications can cause the worst heartaches of all, he finds, as Bilbo has spent twenty long years thinking that he’s dead.

Alive

Bilbo fled Erebor before his friends could be buried, before he had to see Thorin encased in stone. He returns to the Shire and settles into a life of unsociability and some amount of loneliness, but finds comfort in the figures of the children of Hobbiton. After twenty years, however, his luck is gone, and Bilbo has to flee the Shire with Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, and with four very young Hobbits, there is only one place he can turn to.

This is a Love I Cannot Undo (Eyes Open, I Burn in Hell)

In which Kili, Fili, and Thorin survive the Battle of the Five Armies and have to deal with the fallout.

Fiercer Than Fire

The Quest of Erebor as it might have been. Billa Baggins is not your average burglar- or, perhaps, a burglar at all. That remains to be seen. Thorin resents this little female's habit of gaining a foothold wherever she lands. Even in his heart.

A Flower Among Gems

The Fell Winter destroyed Billanna (also known as Billa) Baggin's small hobbit family, as her parents were murdered and she kidnapped by orcs. However, she is saved by a familiar group of dwarves which, after deliberation (and Thorin's younger sister giving him grief) Billa joins the family of Durin. As the years pass, relationships are brought into light, and with quests thrown in, it seems a quiet life is a little hard to find for a hobbit among dwarves.

Think Before You Speak

The three fools of Durin's Line try to court their Ones. Things get crazy, hectic, emotional, and brains continuously shut off at the worst times.

Words Unanswered

The most terrible thing you can do to a writer, Bilbo is sure, is answer words with silence.

Together Once More

Thinking himself banished, Bilbo leaves Erebor before he and Thorin can reconcile. Meanwhile, the entire company thinks that Bilbo died in bofta. 20 years later, Bilbo, now the guardian of Frodo Baggins, is asked by Gandalf to travel to rivendell to discuss a growing evil that is encompassing Middle Earth. However, the two hobbits mysteriously vanish, and never make it to rivendell as they were supposed to. And somehow, to make matters even more confusing, Gandalf comes to the realization that Bilbo Baggin's has the One Ring.

Hurricanes in Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire

Bilbo was banished. That's it, the end. She wants nothing more to do with dwarves. Now all she needs to do is get back home, but there may be some complications along the way.

Eastern Homecomings

After an unprecedented Goblin attack on the Shire, Bilbo finds himself whisked back to Erebor with his son he never wanted Thorin to know about.

A Most Sensible Idea

Bilbo Baggins isn't sure about this. Not one bit. Frodo is definitely too young to enter into an arranged marriage with a dwarven king called Thorin Oakenshield. It's a good thing that Bilbo is there to chaperone him through their courtship. After all, there's no chance that a fussy hobbit bachelor would ever catch the eye of a king.

You Got Me

The Company shows their affection for Bilbo in accordance with dwarvish tradition. Bilbo... has no idea why everyone keeps giving him gifts.

The Most Precious of Treasures

Bilbo is thought to have died during the Battle of the Five Armies, but in reality she has returned home to Shire, believing that she is forever banished from her friends sides and that they are far better off believing that she is indeed dead. However, her plans to remain dead to them are complicated by the most precious treasure a certain Dwarf King left her with and by a few friends who simply refuse to believe that she had truly gone from Middle-Earth. Bilbo believed that her journey was done, she had gone there and had come back, her story was finished, she had no idea that she had just walk headlong into another.

A Second Chance

The Valar send Bilbo back in time, to the day where Gandalf asks him to join in an adventure. After living a lifetime of regret and suffering, he vows to change things for the better. For Thorin. For Frodo. But will he succeed?

Retelling the Hobbit

This is a comic adaptation/retelling of the Hobbit! It's framed as a bedtime story that Bilbo is telling a younger Frodo.

A Passion for Mushrooms

There are many trials for a hobbit attempting to make a life among dwarves. A hobbit wants a garden. A hobbit wants to eat regular meals. A hobbit wants friends, good books, and comfortable chairs. Bilbo does his best to carve out a little hobbit life for himself in the mountain. If only there were not one final obstacle. For a hobbit heart wants love, and among dwarves that is a sticky subject.

Something Blue

Thorin marries Bilbo after the Battle of Five Armies, a marriage of convenience, not love. Slowly, they must come to make the best of it, Bilbo resolves. After all, he's a Hobbit. They make the best of things.

Azhâr

Following the aftermath of the Battle of the Five Armies where Thorin must fight with his own guilt and mind over his choices and what they mean and meant, where he must decide whether or not to rule, and how to live with himself after dying. Focusing on many different characters and relationships, as well as building on the lore of Erebor and Middle Earth. A story about coming home.

An Expected Journey

For years Bilbo has written about his adventures and told stories about his dealings with dwarves and dragons. To most it seemed like fanciful nonsense but to Bilbo it was all very real. A weight followed him home from his travels, one called regret. Now in his final moments Bilbo has a choice to make – go quietly into death’s embrace or go back again and face all the fear and pain for the chance to make things right?

Lay Down Your Sweet and Weary Head

Thorin dies. Thorin wakes up. He is understandably confused by this, especially since he appears to be in the Erebor he knew as a young dwarf, about to be attacked by a dragon.

Call You Home

In which the Company are entirely too nosy about matters that are supposed to be a secret, and Bilbo learns that being concerned about propriety is overrated when you could be making friends instead.

Courting Habits of the Line of Durin

Hobbits didn’t have such things as courting rituals – they were uncomplicated folk. They announced their affections with flowers or a cooked meal, a shared pipe or simply a kiss – and then there were meetings with both families and a date set for the wedding. Dwarves, as he kept discovering, were a completely different kettle of fish.

The Road Delivered Us Home

In the years since Bilbo left Erebor, he has lost his respectability, gained a nephew, and gotten on with life at Bag End. He'd left aside adventure for the comforts and peace of his little Hobbit hole, and for the love of a child who needed him. Though perhaps, adventures can yet find him.

Intertwine

“To let someone else braid you is an intimacy. Brothers often do it for one another, or parents in our youth, or lovers when we are of age. I have none of these.” Thorin pulled a silver bead from the pouch and rolled it between his fingers, and his gaze on Bilbo held weight

Fix That Which Was Broken

When Mahal himself offers to send Thorin back to the start of the quest to save the line of Durin, he is determined to make amends for all of the mistakes he made the first time around. When Bilbo wakes up in Bag End eighty years in the past, all he knows is that he has somehow been given the chance to see his beloved dwarves again and he'll be damned if he doesn't take it.

Tears of the Sun

Based on a prompt where Frodo is Thorin and Bilbo's son and no one knows.

Reading in Autumn Sunlight

Summer was over. The lingering warmth from those long, languorous days were steadily replaced with opaline skies and bracing winds which brought with them the threat of the first frosts of winter to Erebor.

Portrait

Three years to the day following the beginning of the Quest for Erebor, Bilbo was asked to pose for an official portrait.

The World Spins Madly On

The end of the journey to retake Erebor is harrowing. As Bilbo Baggins surveys the wreckage of what was once a group of the best friends he ever had, he wonders if it was all worth it. And then he wakes up. And wakes up. And wakes up.

How Shall This Day End?

Thorin Oakenshield dies. And then returns to himself in Erebor, staring down at a gold-covered floor. He doesn't quite understand what is happening at first, but soon realizes he has been granted an incredible chance (and a terrible burden): to relive the battle again until he finally gets things right.

Though the Stars Walk Backward

Bilbo wakes, always in Erebor, with dark shadows to one side and the first light of a terrible dawn to the other.

Many Paths

Bilbo wakes up in Dale. With the memory of a battle won but lives lost, he finds an army of Men and Elves readying to attack Erebor. Bilbo tries to save his dwarves. Again and again.

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Bilbo Baggins led a rather peaceful life, thank you very much, until an old acquaintance decided to turn it upside down, and he found himself agreeing to take a job that’s… let’s say not exactly up his alley, and might eventually cost him a little more than his treasured cozy lifestyle. Who would have thought tutoring a slightly menacing monarch’s more than slightly overbearing nephew could prove to be such an adventure?

Courtship Works Best When Both Parties Are Aware of It

The halls of Erebor flourished under the reign of Thorin Oakenshield. His coronation was a welcoming ceremony to celebrate the final wave of refugees returning to the Lonely Mountain. Bilbo, the hobbit under the mountain, is concerned with the amount of time the weary King under the Mountain is spending with a simple hobbit. Thorin is worried Bilbo is spurning his courtship. Suddenly all the dwarves are concerned for Bilbo's happiness in Erebor. These two idiots need to learn to communicate.

Run! Glorfindel Saw Us!

Bilbo Baggins was raised by elves in Rivendell. Thorin is not impressed. At all

The Rampart

When Thorin realized what Bilbo had done, realized that the hobbit had traded his Arkenstone, he saw fire. And Bilbo, being so incredibly small, was easy enough to throw from the Rampart. The company leaves Erebor, seemingly forever. 10 years after Thorin 'killed' Bilbo, he breaks from his dragon sickness, sick at what he's done. He runs to the Shire, hell-bent on paying his respects to his burglar, ashamed at killing him over a stone. But what will Thorin find in Hobbiton?

An Unexpected Addition

All of the dwarves survive the Battle of the Five Armies, but Bilbo must return to the Shire to sort out his old life and make way for a new one in Erebor. Over one year later, Bilbo comes back to the Lonely Mountain with a recently orphaned Frodo. King Thorin isn't quite sure what to make of this new, tiny addition to his Company.

Heartbeat of the Mountain

Bilbo adjusts to caring for a nephew and realizes that the Shire holds no future for him anymore. It is time to return to the mountain. With Frodo in tow, he sets off to find out if Thorin regrets his decisions and to discover if the mountain can handle not one, not two, but three troublemakers.

The Took’s Arrangement

Shortly after Bilbo Baggins comes of age, he is swept up into a life he never expected. Upon the promise made between his grandfather and the dwarrow of Ered Luin, he sets off to marry the crown prince of Erebor, Thorin. Arranged marriages are not ideal, but he is a Baggins, and Bagginses keep promises, while his adventurous Took blood sends him running down the road to Erebor.

Beware the Nice Ones

Five years after becoming Consort Under the Mountain, Bilbo is struggling to prove his worth to Thorin's most xenophobic subjects and foreign kinsmen. However, when visiting nobles mistake Bilbo and Frodo for common servants, Thorin is not pleased and Bilbo has had enough. Political intrigue, cultural misunderstandings, and a trial of honor ensue...

The Greatest Treasure in Erebor

It takes roughly two months of being taken on a different walking tour of The Splendors of Erebor every single day for Bilbo to work out that Thorin and Company are trying to convince him not to leave.

Our Lives to Make

Bilbo must venture the long road back to the Shire to see his newborn nephew, leaving Thorin to rule over Erebor. But when word reaches him mid-travel that Frodo has been orphaned, he knows he cannot go back to the Lonely Mountain alone. What will Thorin say when Bilbo returns with his nephew in tow, when he’s lost his own kin so recently?

An Unexpected Son

Bilbo left Erebor with a treasure more precious then gold or rings. What happens when the dwarves discover Frodo? Will Thorin bend enough to admit he was wrong to force Bilbo to leave?

lay down your sweet and weary head

Thorin dies. Thorin wakes up. He is understandably confused by this, especially since he appears to be in the Erebor he knew as a young dwarf, about to be attacked by a dragon. A time-travel fic with Thorin as the one living his life twice

The Shire's Sacrifice

When the Shire cannot honour its Treaty with Erebor, the dwarves enforce a contractual clause: one Hobbit must be sent to Erebor to marry the King as a sign of good faith. But with neither party at all willing and plans afoot to undermine the King, maybe an unwilling Bilbo Baggins is exactly what Erebor needs…

Gimli/Legolas Centric

Comes Around Again

Gimli closes his eyes, an old Dwarf on the brink of death in the home he had built with his husband in the Undying Lands, and opens them again as a young Dwarf in his childhood home in Ered Luin. He's returned to the tumultuous week before The Company set out to recruit their Burglar from his cosy hobbit hole. Gimli, once again a impetuous teen in the eyes of his family, must get into that Company--the lives of his loved ones, and the very fate of Middle Earth--depends on it.

Heart of the Mountain

For three hundred years they've been under attack. It's become background noise now but Gimli can't help but wonder why. Why in Mahal's name are the elves still attacking them after all this time? Surely they have something better to do?

Hearts Will As Hearts Must

The Dwarves are returning to Erebor reclaimed, and the elves uphold their promise to safeguard the caravans as they pass through Mirkwood. One particular Dwarf has wit and spark enough to match Legolas Greenleaf - perhaps even outmatch him. It's hate at first sight.

Cultural Differences: If Thou Kiss Not Me

Legolas and Gimli fall for each other, hard. But culture shock causes some problems when Gimli realizes that Dwarves and Elves don’t share certain customs.

Forged in Frame

A very contrived take on the Professor!Gimli and Influencer!Legolas AU, in which they’re still somewhat reluctantly trying to save the planet because Aragorn asked them to.

Secrets of the Lonely Mountain

Legolas is sent to Erebor after the War of the Ring, where he's given the chance to meet up with Gimli again.

we raise our cups

Legolas determined he would have to cut through the Woods of Oromë. If all went well, it should be a straight shot to what Celebrimbor had labelled as the Mansions of Aulë. Perhaps, were he a wiser elf, he would first seek the guidance of Mandos – because after all, he was still alive, and Gimli was still dead. But Legolas was, at the end of all things, not a very wise elf. He was simply an elf with a fiddle and a bow, who was deeply in love. And he had to hope that would be enough.

Terroir

"Terroir - the characteristic taste and flavor imparted to a wine by the environment in which it is produced." It's almost the tourist season in the wine country, and Greenwood Cellars is gearing up for its busiest time of year. The new Blue Mountain Public House threatens to disrupt decades of tradition - this is wine country, after all. Aragorn is running for County Sheriff on a platform of community policing - but he's running against his boss. Eowyn feels trapped in the family business, and thinks the handsome young motorcycle cop is her ticket out. And Gandalf is selling his fireworks, like he always has, even though there's no way they should be legal. The story of a town, and the people who want to make it better, and what happens in one tourist season.

Building

A city, a marriage, a world. Legolas and Gimli return to Minas Tirith with their people to help Aragorn rebuild his city, and learn how to be together in a new world of peace.

The Wild Hunt

Vampire Legolas vs. Slayer Gimli

What Song Can Fell the Mountain

Valinor has been their home for a century and a half when, scant days after his four-hundred-and-twelfth birthday, Gimli says, "I will soon die. What are we going to do about it?"

Lest We Burden Our Weary Hearts

If one must call them ‘missed chances’, then do so warmly, for even in the distance of space and years there is no shortage of affection here. Each other’s dearest companion, indeed.

Homespun

Modern Lasgalen bears some little resemblances to canon Mirkwood. Gimli encounters one of them in the bathtub one morning.

Going Viral

When a dangerous new virus spreads rapidly through Middle-earth, Gondor goes quickly into lockdown. Legolas and Gimli weather the pandemic together as best they can.

Rebuild Your Seawall (Brick by Brick)

For weeks and months, Legolas has felt a pull - and dares not name it, does not heed its stormy-sky warnings, does not track the ebb and flow on the shoreline of his life. Here’s the thing about the tide, though: it rises whether one wills it or not.

M&M and E&E2

A Gold Star in his Crown

The Silmarils have been stolen. So has Elrond, on the very same night, and the only trace left of those who took them is a note in Maglor's handwriting. Years later, after Elros has gone after his brother and never returned, Gil-Galad goes to reclaim his young kinsmen from their second captivity in Faerie.

The Ransom of the House of Fëanor

Maglor goes to war for a final time, the eternal darkness looms, and Elrond bargains with the Valar for the ransom of the House of Fëanor. In which fathers give up everything for their sons, and their sons offer everything in return; title, name, and fëa. Or, the one where Maglor believes he is destined for eternal darkness, and Elrond politely says otherwise.

To Safety

Elrond and Elros, after yet another horrible day of being hostages for their mother's Silmaril, awaken in an unfamiliar forest where the sunlight doesn't seem quite right, and somehow run right back into the arms of their captors. Maitimo and Makalaurë have no idea who these children are, but it seems like they're supposed to raise them. It's more difficult than it sounds, because somehow they don't speak Quenya. In other words, the twins time travel to Valinor in the Years of the Trees and proceed to be parented against their will.

Low Water

Elrond is gifted with foresight. Elrond has seen how this chapter ends.

New Strings

Maglor is rescued, now to fit him into life in Imladris.

And Love Repaid

It was never about owing.

Protector

It began with the Second Age. Or actually, it did not begin at all. It simply did not end. Against all odds, Maedhros and Maglor survive. For Elrond, that is a beginning of sorts.

Lessons Learned

It all begins with Maglor wanting to give the young Peredhels he and his brother captured a some sense of normalcy in their lives. He gave them over to Erestor so that they might learn simple things, how to read and write. He hardly expected to find his own relationship with the twins to develop, and Maedhros expected it even less...

Unwell

It's not that they're not happy that Maglor's been brought back to the Undying Lands. It's just that they're a little concerned about the fact that he's been taken into the house of someone he once kidnapped, and that no one's seen Maglor since.

Russandol

The attack on Sirion

After Sirion

After the Third Kinslaying, two pairs of brothers struggle to repair their broken families.

Songbird

Caught up in his grief over his twin brother’s death, Elrond hears rumours of his foster-father’s whereabouts. With only Erestor as his companion, the half-elf leaves Lindon to find Maglor. But at the end of their journey they must all face the question of what to do when the elf who was never meant to return to elven settlement is actually found.

Barriers

On the way back to Amon Ereb, Maedhros and Maglor carried not a jewel, but two small boys instead.

Always There

A young Elladan and Elrohir return from playing by the sea with a strange tale that sends their father on a mad chase.

Sons of Eärendil

Elros, King of Numenor, reminisces to his absent brother. Talking through memories of the terrors of their childhood and the things that drove them apart as adults.

As Little Might Be Thought

From the Sacking of Sirion to Amon Ereb; from princes to captives to sons. The story of the unlikely bond between Elrond and Elros and Maglor and Maedhros.

Pieces of Stars

When the Oath brings disaster to Sirion, Maglor attempts to fix what he can, but a temporary arrangement becomes much more permanent than anyone had foreseen. Elrond and Elros grow up, grow together, and grow apart at the end of a world slowly decaying into myth and legend.

The Lines on My Face, the Lines on My Hands

Nearly eighty years after Celebrían left Middle Earth to seek healing, the people of Imladris have yet to quite move on. But when a simple task of 'make sure the road is clear' ends in the Elladan and Elrohir bringing home a seriously injured and sorely missed elf, the entire household is forced to re-examine just what they are to each other, and to themselves.

The Starlit Sky

Elrond's account of his boyhood with the Fëanorians

Jailbird

There is singing from the southeast tower of the citadel. There is always singing from the southeast tower of the citadel. For over three thousand years someone has lived in that tower and sung, and today Faramir wants to know why.

I Beg a Deep and Dreamless Sleep

An alternate version of my fic "Give the Children Closure" Maedhros is unsurprised by Elrond coming to let him out of the Halls, though he knows he won't actually be leaving. This is a kinder hallucination than most. Again I will stress that everything is going to be okay, he just has to be sad first.

Lords of Amon Ereb

Maedhros and Maglor have stolen the Silmarils and disappeared. Beleriand is sinking. Finarfin, Gil-Galad, and all the people moving east pay a visit to Amon Ereb, assuming that the Sons of Fëanor returned there. Instead, they find Elrond and Elros.

With Eyes of Nightingales

Finarfin wants to know what happened to Elrond and Elros. Against their better judgement, Círdan and Gil-Galad go with him. What they find is a terrifying forest, a fortress that defies geometry, and a pair of twins with bright eyes.

Nightmare Sequence

A series of dreams and nightmares that everyone sincerely hopes are not prophetic, mostly taking place in the early days of Elrond and Elros's time as hostages. (aka things that were too messed up or too out of character that I really wanted to write)

plus ça change

Elrond has had many homes and many families, in the Ages of Middle-Earth. He has lost them all. Or, a character study, from toddler in Sirion to Lord of Rivendell.

Softly Sing the Children

Elrond and Elros are unsettling children. All the children in their family are.

Childhood Memories

Sometimes the waves of war wash strange things to the shore. Perhaps Maglor senses what it means for him when he finds Elwing's twin sons Elrond and Elros abandoned in the forest. He does not take them with him to Ossiriand as his prisoners of war, but rather takes on the role of a foster father for them. Little by little, the little Half-elves learn that he means them no harm, and gradually they begin to love him as their father.

And Family Means No One Gets Left Behind

Earendil returns home to find it burned to the ground and his sons missing, presumed captured by the Feanorians. He does the logical thing. He goes after them. He's not entirely expecting what he finds when he gets there.

MISC

Tears Like Rain

The first in the epic Mellon Chronicles. Mirkwood has suffered tragic losses in the Last Great Alliance, including her King. With the very survival of the kingdom at stake, Thranduil finds himself at deadly odds with his older brother Doriflen. When young Legolas becomes a pawn in his abusive uncle’s ruthless power games, the lies, deception and betrayal risk destroying more than just the young prince’s life.

Golden Light

They have loved each other for so long that when Finwë grieves, Ingwë grieves with him, but he also tries his best to comfort him.

No Other Choice

“Your word means nothing,” she spits at him, baring her teeth, nearly shaking with anger as sudden as a cataclysm. The sea roars behind her, cold droplets spraying up and flecking her bare legs. “I do not barter with murderers.” The Fëanorians descend upon the Havens of Sirion to retrieve the Silmaril. Elwing makes an impossible choice.

All Our Old Follies, Come 'Round Again

Celebrimbor sees Elrond again after a long separation. It isn't a good thing, at first. But then Celebrían meets Elrond for the first time under... unexpected circumstances.

The Siege of Khazad-dum

Rescued from Sauron by Celebrían, Celebrimbor and Elrond fled with her to the great dwarf-kingdom and stronghold where Durin is king. Celebrimbor, badly injured in body and spirit, is impatient. Galadriel and Durin oppose the might of Sauron to the utmost. And in Lindon, Gil-galad is unwilling to wait. This is a direct sequel to All Our Old Follies, Come 'Round Again

Songs of the Heart

It's not that Earendil isn't glad that the kinslayers are in custody. It's just that he's not entirely happy that the place they're currently in custody at is his ship.

Letters to a Daughter

After arriving in Valinor, Elrond writes down his thoughts and experiences in letters addressed to his now mortal daughter.

Songs of Shadows, Songs of Blood

There are shadows in the forests of Beleriand. Some of them have teeth.

More than the Stars Above

Elrond had lived without his parents for this long. He could certainly continue to do so if they proved to be indifferent. That didn't stop his hand from shaking when he reached out to knock on the door.

Watcher in the Woods

"The creature has been with us for many weeks, and Balan caved to its wish to learn. He has been teaching it our language, our politics, our culture. Our very way of life. Wherever we go, it is there. Watching. Always watching." Something does not bode well with this golden stranger in our camp, and yet, there is nothing to be done about it. I can only watch, and pray that what I fear does not come to pass. And it will.

Suitable Foster

"“Children?” Felagund sounded uncharacteristically distressed." Bëor strongly discourages his friend from adopting.

Beor and the Faerie King

The humans have their own story of how they met the Faërie King, what they gained and one they lost. The story of Finrod and Balan later named Bëor, as told by an old woman in a mountain cabin.

Little Boy Lost and Crying

I feel like the house of finwe just found a confused, crying, and lost little boy in the woods one day and decided to keep him and call him gil-galad and thats why his parentage is so confusing because everyone claimed he was theirs

Scion of Kings

Gil-galad struggles to write a letter to the man he thinks (hopes) might be his father. Or, in which we are all Gil-galad, failing to start an email.

Foundlings

The untold story of what happened to Dior's sons during and after the sack of Menegroth.

Twin Troubles

When Celegorm ends up in the Halls, he finds himself reluctantly playing guardian to a pair of lost twins.

Forget Me Not

It’s a marriage of convenience, a way to forever strengthen the bond between the Dwarves of Erebor and the people of Dale. Or so Sigrid tells herself.

Too Much Truth

Legolas accompanies Tilda to Erebor to visit her sister. It is his father’s wish that he does so. Legolas does not understand the new world he finds there.

Work for Idle Hands

King Bard carries so many worries, especially now his council want his eldest daughter Sigrid betrothed in a way to best benefit Dale. Sigrid carries her own worries and is determined to cut back her Da’s. There’s a trade agreement between Erebor and Dale; Sigrid and Fili begin using it.

My Lady Dis

On her way to Erebor following the deaths of her family, Princess Dís receives some unexpected news from King Thranduil, and an offer to make Mirkwood her home. King Thranduil can't abide Dwarves, but the more time he spends with Erebor's last princess, the more he begins questioning his long held convictions.

We Were Legends: Book I - Champion's Dawn

In the First Age of the world, House of Elmo supports the King and Queen of Doriath in ruling their Kingdom. Princes of Doriath hold on to it as well - they found themselves in different roles to support their Kingdom, but beside their duty, they still hold deep loyalty and love towards each other despite grudges from the past and poorly made decisions. Will their loyalty linger through all the Ages to come?

The Burned Prince

After the sacking of Doriath, the lands once girdled by Melian were abandoned. Faerbraichon, Lord of House Brethil, went east in search of a new land for his Sindar Elves, a land far removed from the grief caused by the Silmaril Thingol had coveted. With him came his family - those who were left - and those for whom he was Lord.

Extraordinary

The first time he saw her, when he climbed out of her toilet and into her father’s home, he barely even registered her presence – he was too preoccupied with his mission and his brother’s injury, so he wrote her off simply as a perfectly ordinary human girl. But then he started observing her – and Mahal, she was the most extraordinary creature he had ever laid eyes upon.

A Favorable Arrangement

Fili and Sigrid agree to an arranged marriage, and quickly learn that mountains and lakes ally more quickly than people.

Episodes from Middle Earth

Collection of one-shots

Fear and Family (Or, the One Where Kíli Is the Sensible One)

After the Battle of Five Armies, Bilbo isn't sure of his welcome in the mountain, and thus returns to the Shire as soon as he can. Somewhat to his surprise, Ori goes with him -- but it turns out Ori has his own reasons for leaving Erebor behind. Well, Bilbo's quite used to being the talk of the Shire.

Solace

The tale of Thranduil and his wife from the beginning of their journey to the downfall of their tragedy.

Seduction to Destruction

Before the awakening of the elves there was the rise of the Valaraukar. As the Valar attempt to keep and contain their Maiar from succumbing to Melkor’s might, they fail to realize that it only takes one to destroy their efforts from within. The fall of Almaren will be detailed with Mairon and his relationships with others as the central plot points. Eventual Angbang because that was why I started writing this thing in the first place.

Bury My Sins Down By the Sea

Wandering along the seashore singing an unceasing lament for what his people had become and what they had done was supposed to be the last line for Maglor, son of Fëanor. When he accidentally trespasses on Avarin territory, they take him briefly hostage in order to ensure that he will lead no war parties to them. Among their people, thrust headfirst into a culture completely alien to him, Maglor learns quickly exactly how different they are. Despite all their differences, he still finds kinship with Denethor of the Laiquendi, and the comfort of a connection helps him open his heart again at long last.

Adopted of the Khîtikweni

Maglor has been avoiding others since he flung the Silmaril into the sea. Some, he finds, are more stubborn than he is.

Mortal Cold

Elladan, Elrohir, Legolas, and Aragorn are in the mountains during a terrible cold autumn storm and the sons of Elrond reluctantly stay with some of the Avari after Legolas' insistence and the severity of the storm.

Secret Hope

Nerdanel is, she suspects, among the last to receive word - the ships are coming home. The Elves are returning at last. She knows she will likely be disappointed. But she can't help but hope.

Vegetarian

Whenever anyone asks Erestor how he ended up in Rivendell, he defers to Glorfindel.

My Father’s Eyes

They are terrible and cruel; warm and loving. I see my father trough his ever-changing eyes, and they tell me his truths if I read them wisely. But sometimes I fear i will never get to know everything there is to know about them. They are like the grey sky before it rains, like the universe itself or the forest when it rains. They speak to me if I listen closely. And I do listen.

The Prisoner of Dol Guldur

Thranduil makes a terrible discovery after the fall of Dol Guldur

The Web of Darkness

An experiment of the Witch-King backfires, big time, and the Elves of Mirkwood find an unexpected ally.

Hungry Eye, Ancient Soul

"In this Fifth Age of Middle Earth, there are many stories about the romantic past of the earlier ages. Ancient stories of love and adventure, and those who inhabited these lands alongside us mortals. The terrifying reality of these stories is often ignored, and I will bring them to light, remaining anonymous lest these beings find me for revealing the truth." It is the Fifth Age of Middle Earth, and the Elves have fallen into legend; legend twisted into tales of deceit, Fae magic, disappearances, and betrayal.

The Unseen Fate

Namo once said, "There long shall ye abide and yearn for your bodies, and find little pity..." so basically, he said that the House of Feanor will abide in the Halls of Mandos and remain dispossessed for ever. However, it would seem that Eru has another fate in mind. A story where the House of Miriel has found their place in the world. They meet new friends along the way and grievances are forgiven. Finally, a happy ending for the House of Miriel.

Consequences

"She is her father's daughter. He was never really a father at all." Elwing and Eärendil remember their children.

The Wanderer (Maglor's story)

The silmarillion as told from Maglor's perspective. Some implied Russingon and a whole bunch of vala/elf relationships.

A Meeting In Valinor

After the War of the Ring, Sauron returns as a prisoner to Valinor and, much to the incredulity of his self-appointed guard Eönwë, encounters a hobbit.

Casting Out The Serpent

Balan-who-will-be-Bëor comes to some conclusions about his new friend after said new friend demonstrates a terrifying knowledge of venomous snakes. In conclusion, Finarfin was a reptile hoarder and also elves might be poisonous.

The Fourth Hall

Where do the orcs go when they die?

green are the leaves (i leave in mirkwood)

"A choice sits upon his head, pressing down past his elven bones and into his very fae. He must choose either to turn back to the stifling safety of the King's Halls, or venture on into a world that will not offer favours nor protection to an Elf as young and inexperienced as he." OR: Legolas learns what it means to chase freedom, choose, sacrifice and find family even in the darkest of hours.

A Feast of Ashes

Now High King of the Noldor in Middle Earth, Fingolfin decides to host a feast to reunite the free people of Beleriand, the Noldor, and his own family. What he did not expect is to be reunited with dead relatives, spies from Angband, dark secrets from Cuivienen, and a fair share of angst

An Unexpected Exchange

Bilbo always knew there was something off about his nephew. He didn't fit in amongst the hobbits. And when a stranger shows up on his doorstep claiming that the boy is not his nephew at all, things get a bit... complicated.

Should A Star Fall, The Sky Won't Go Black

The stars are sacred to all of the eldar, but for some, they may have a little bit more meaning. Or: Elurín has a nightmare that leaves him lost and confused, and Maedhros helps guide him back onto his path with the help of the night sky.

Two Stars in Time

While undergoing a hunting test, Elurín and Eluréd have a strange setback and wake up under the Two Trees. Lost in a land of old, there is only one person whom they can think of to search for: Adar Maedhros.

In Elin Gelebrin

After the Second Kinslaying, Maedhros searches for two young children and succeeds in finding them. Here are some small moments of their time together.

An Untold Tale

Injured, afraid, and freezing in the forests of Doriath, Elurín manages to tap into an inheritance from Melian he never realised was there. In his desperation, he uses it, and he and his brother vanish from history. Three thousand years later, a patrol of Imladris finds two strange boys in the woods.

What if Elrond Had Pushed Isildur into the Fires of Mt. Doom? Theory

The One Ring and it’s survival by the hands of Isildur gave rise to Sauron and the War of the Ring in the Lord of the Rings, but what if Elrond had pushed Isildur into the fires of Mount Doom, bringing an end to the One Ring altogether?

#fic rec #the hobbit #lotr #bagginshield #gigolas #kiliel #the silmarillion #long post

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blrush · 3 years

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Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (if it was a serious drama with hour long episodes)... Part 1: The Wedding Night

“Presenting, the bridegroom! … Presenting, the bride!”

Ki Wan could feel his heart beating in his throat, and pools of sweat were soaking into his layers of bridal wear. The sun was blistering, his hair was pulled too tight, his face itched from the make-up and it took all his strength not to lower his hands and scratch at it. He kept his arms raised, and angled his face down as much as possible, looking only at the ground instead of the man in front of him. This was absurd, how did he end up here?

The night before, he had gone to visit his sister, only to find her room empty, her wedding robes laid out across the bed, and a note which simply read; “I’m sorry.” He knew immediately that she had run away, and he could not blame her. He’d wanted to run himself so often from their home. Since their mother’s death, the Choi house had remained a desolate and cold place. His sister and himself both kept to themselves, busy with laundry, cutting firewood, mending clothes, cooking, cleaning. Endlessly, day in and day out. In the evening, they were both so tired they would simply sit in companionable silence, reading.

Though the Choi family had always been a noble family, it seemed their father was determined to end that legacy. After their mother passed, he took to drinking and would disappear to the city for days or weeks on end, leaving the teens alone. At first, the house without him was preferable, with their servants around, they didn’t feel the loss of their mother quite so badly. But soon the servants began to leave, first the caretaker, then the cook, then his sister’s handmaid. It became clear their father was gambling away their fortunes. He would arrive home, stumbling out of a carriage, cart, or palanquin blind drunk. Ki Wan knew circumstances were truly dire the night he came home without a footman or transport, simply riding through the gates on horseback, slumped over like a bag of rice.

Without warning one spring morning, he announced that Hwa Jin was to be married into the Ryu family. Ki Wan knew the name, a long standing and large noble family from the neighbouring province. Every business and manor home in those mountains bore the name “Ryu”.

“A nobleman named Ho Seon”, proclaimed their father between mouthfuls, “He needs a young wife, I believe his mother is sick.” He gulped down some soju. “I have made arrangements with his great uncle. He will come for you next week and take you to the Ryu estate to be wed.”

Ki Wan expected an outburst from his sister, she was no wallflower and had always been braver than him. He expected shouting, violence, smashed crockery. Nothing. She sat quietly staring down at her bowl of rice and the measly scraps they were excusing for dinner. She mumbled an acknowledgment, and picked at her food.

Later that night, Ki Wan took a lantern, and went to her room. He knocked gently, and she called to enter. He found her pulling a set of bright red and blue robes from a wooden trunk.

“It was mother’s.” she said. “I don’t even remember her giving it to me, I feel as though I’ve always had it. It just never occurred to me that I might actually have to wear it one day.”

Folded up with the robes were beautiful jewels and hairpins, that seemed to glisten even in the dull flickering candle light.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t sold these.” Ki Wan observed, as he gently held a hair pin made of smooth jade.

“I don’t think he knew they were here.” Replied Hwa Jin.

They both sat staring at the blood red robe. As usual they barely spoke, yet Ki Wan felt he knew what Hwa Jin must be thinking – for his own mind was a tangle of thoughts and flooded with emotion. He thought of the enormity of what was to come, what that dress meant for Hwa Jin, the bitter resentment and sadness she must be feeling toward their father, and how beautiful their mother must have looked herself in that dress.

Their mother had been a true beauty, smiling and warm, she was always full of light and colour. Perhaps he was imagining her more radiantly in his memories. But he will never forget how wrong it was to see her so pale. When she became sick it was as if all the colour drained from the world, and before he knew it, she was gone. Their father began to change. At first, he just seemed sad, but it was as if the sadness became a sickness in itself. He had once been a chubby and jolly sort of man, yet he became spindly and skinny, his skin almost grey. He never hugged them or laughed with them anymore, he barely acknowledged them at all. They felt like ghosts in their own home, each floating around aimlessly, slowly fading away.

Ki Wan opened his hand, the jade hairpin he was holding was now warm. Hmm, it seemed he was still warm – not a ghost after all.

Over the next few days, his sister seemed to retreat even further into herself. She barely left her room or ate, she began neglecting her share of the duties – though Ki Wan couldn’t blame her. If he was to marry some strange man, he would feel fairly distracted and nervous too. In fact, he imagined his sister must be even more scared. As a young man, Ki Wan was afforded certain liberties that she was not, he had accompanied his father before on business through the nearby towns, and had even once been to the capitol. He had attended Seodang school as a boy, been invited to aristocratic gatherings and meetings with his father, he’d slept in inns and toasted with strangers. His sister, as far as he knew, had barely left the house. She grew up completely within the confines of their walled property, took lessons in the garden, and had (perhaps) been into town a handful of times with their mother to buy dresses. But since recently, she had no handmaid to accompany her and was confined to the walls of the Choi residence. Ki Wan suddenly felt a deep sense of regret, for in his own grief, he had never thought to offer help to his sister in this way. She must have felt like a prisoner for years.

And so, when he found her missing, and the note left with the dress, he was not surprised. He felt anger at himself, he had failed her. He had been selfish and blind to her strife. Though he was somewhat fearful for her safety out in the world on her own, he also had faith that she could survive on her own, as she had always been smarter and braver than him. Now, all that remained was to break the news to his father. But should be wait, to give her a head start? Would their father go after her? With what resources? He had no men or horses to chase her, and no clue as to the where she would be headed. Did she have connections they did not know about? An old friend somewhere, or a lover perhaps? Ryu Ho Seon’s great uncle would be arriving in the morning to collect her, should he raise the alarm before then, or feign ignorance of her disappearance? His mind was whirring, but he found himself diligently heading toward his father’s chambers.

He found his father asleep, sitting on the floor slumped over the table. He imagined his father’s shame in the morning, facing some nobleman demanding to know the whereabouts of his daughter. What if he thought Master Choi had been lying about the existence of such a daughter? Ki Wan realised how pathetic his father had become, and yet, he was still his father.

“Father! Wake up. Father!” He jostled him awake, by shaking his shoulder.

“Hmmmm?!?? Wha, what?” Ki Wan waited for his father to wake properly and look at him.

“Hwa Jin is gone. She has run away.”

“WHAT!?” His father burst upright, waving his arm up frantically and catching Ki Wan on the jaw. “WHAT!? GONE!?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?”

“She left a note. She has run away.” He tried to explain, holding his jaw, checking his lip for blood.

“STUPID SELFISH GIRL! DOES SHE KNOW WHAT SHE’S DONE!!?” He was yelling at no one in particular, gesturing wilding around the room. Ki Wan waited for him to calm down. Eventually, after some incoherent swearing and mumbling, his father sat back down, unsteadily, at the table. With his head in his hands he mumbled again …

“She doesn’t know what she’s done.” He sounded completely crest-fallen. Through deep breathes, he was fighting back tears, mumbling again “She was meant to save us… the marriage … going to save us….she ….left … abandoned us.”

“Father, what do you mean? Father?” His father’s passionate outburst seemed to have drained him, and he was beginning to fall asleep once more, Ki Wan kept gentling jostling his arm trying to keep him conscious.

“The deal…” he murmured into his sleeve. “…money… we’re finished… I… failed you.”

As his father fell asleep, Ki Wan wiped the tears and alcohol off his face.

Sitting in the cold room, whilst his father snored, Ki Wan tried to put together what his father had said. A deal. Of course, why else would he suddenly marry Hwa Jin off now, so suddenly. He must had brokered some sort of deal with this great uncle Ryu, perhaps an old acquaintance or friend of his father, or more likely, a gambling buddy to whom he had lost one too many wagers. A young, energetic, pretty, fertile, noble bride for his great-nephew in exchange for what, a set price, an amount of gold, an annual living wage? Whatever the price, his father would have no choice but to take it, they had nothing and all three of them would soon be starving.

But what was the catch? Young, eligible noble women were normally married off with a dowry themselves, and even though the Choi family had fallen somewhat into disrepute, Hwa Jin was still a noble woman by birth. So, this begged the question, what was so horribly wrong with Nobleman Ryu Ho Seon that he could not find a bride himself, that his family were so desperate they were essentially marrying HIM off with a dowry instead?

As dawn broke, Ki Wan sat in his sister’s room, carefully applying make-up and attempting to fix his hair into some upright fashion. This was a disaster, what was he thinking? But the faces of his mother and father from a decade ago, smiling happily at him was all he could think of. Perhaps it was some sense of lingering loyalty to his mother’s memory, or misguided pity for his father – but he had decided the only way forward, to save himself and his father, was to keep up his father’s end of the bargain.

He attempted to style his long hair into a low bun as he had seen his sister do, but his skills were limited, and the bun kept falling out, he couldn’t get the pins to sit in the right places. He looked a mess, but it would have to suffice, he would have to rely on the illusion of the clothes and hope that no one looked too closely.

A group of men carrying a set of palanquin came into the courtyard, and a middle-aged woman climbed out. She was very brisk and formal, she greeted him curtly.

“Miss Choi Hwa Jin, I presume? I’m Master Ryu Jin-Yeong’s secretary. It’s a long ride back, so you’d better hop in. Have you relieved yourself this morning? You should do, the road up to the mountains is bumpy and will take many hours.”

Ki Wan was taken aback by her manner, but nodded politely, and kept looking at his feet. He figured, if he could hide his neck he might pass as a woman. People had often commented on how he and his sister could have been twins, and when he was younger he was teased for being too small and dainty. His sister had once said that it was a shame they weren’t sisters, for he would have made such a pretty girl with such a small face, yet instead he looked awkward as a spindly sort of boy, and would never be considered truly attractive to noble women, who liked men with broad shoulders and strong bone-structure. These sort of rude comments and confused compliments never bothered Ki Wan much, as romance, courting and marriage had never really appealed to him in the first place. He never imagined himself marrying a woman, though he certainly never imagined himself marrying AS a woman either.

Before climbing into the palanquin, his father came down from his quarters, and pulled him in for a very stilted but tight hug. He had told his father his plan this morning, though he wasn’t sure how much of it his father fully comprehended. He looked even sadder than he had the night before. Ki Wan hated to think of his father left alone here, drinking away his sorrows without anyone left to watch over him. Though, at this point, the alternate prospect, of staying - only to slowly starve to death together - was far worse. Yet, when he came down to bid Ki Wan farewell, he seemed completely sober. He grasped Ki Wan tightly, then let go just as quickly, and gave him a look that seemed to convey such gratitude and depth of desperation that Ki Wan had to look away, and quickly climb into the carriage to prevent himself from crying.

The ride was indeed bumpy, and after an hour or so Ki Wan began to feel exceedingly nauseous. He didn’t want to ask to stop, for he feared his voice would give his disguise away. He also suspected they were on a strict time schedule, and that Master Ryu’s secretary would not allow it. Finally, after yet another hour or so, they came to a stop by a ravine. The men clambering down to splash themselves with water and relieve themselves by some trees. Ki Wan tentatively stepped out to stretch his legs.

Though he tried not to look towards his chaperone, he could feel her gaze upon him. Suddenly she moved toward him.

“Tsk! This is what comes of no mother or handmaids. Your hair is a mess. Stay still.” She then vigorously took to re-styling his hair. Once she was satisfied, she ordered him back inside the bridal palanquin and they set off once again.

~ ~ ~

“Presenting, the bridegroom!”

Ki Wan could feel himself shaking. It had been hours since he had anything to eat or drink, and the fear of getting caught was worsening by the minute.

“Presenting, the bride!” He forced his legs to move and stepped forward.

The ceremony passed in a blur, all he felt was nausea and all he could see was the endless enveloping dancing colours of his dress sleeves as he tried to stay focused on not being sick. At some point his hands were washed, he was plied with alcohol, poked and prodded by Ryu family members. The ceremony was blessedly short, considering there was no Choi family represented, many of the traditional customs were skipped.

The wedding felt very business-like and rushed, perhaps the Ryu’s themselves were all aware that this was somewhat of a sham wedding. The only person who seemed particularly enthusiastic was the mother of the bridegroom, who was buzzing around attending to important ceremonial elements and guiding Ki Wan around. At one point, she put a reassuring hand gently on Ki Wan’s back as she quietly instructed him that he needed to bow six times. He felt calmed by this small gesture, and a pang of guilt ran through him for tricking this nice old lady, who seemed so excited about getting a nice young daughter in law.

~ ~ ~

In the evening, Ki Wan found himself alone for the first time with the bridegroom. His new “husband”. What was he to do? In the intimate space of the bridal house, there was no way Ho Seon wouldn’t notice that there was something wrong with his bride. They sat in silence.

Ki Wan could hear the sounds of his own breath, his arms ached from holding them above his face for hours on end – he desperately wanted to lower them.

“밥 먹었어요? Have you eaten?” Ho Seon broke the silence. “It’s okay. You can relax. Would you like something to eat? I’m starving.” Ki Wan could hear him fiddling with the plates of food at the table, and pouring liquor. He sounded…. young. Younger than Ki Wan had assumed. So, he wasn’t too old to be considered eligible… hmmm it must have been something else. Perhaps he was hideously disfigured, or scarred? Graphic images flashed around Ki Wan’s imagination. He would have to look, eventually…

“It’s a bit strange isn’t it.” Ho Seon continued, keeping up his one-sided chatter. “Marrying someone you’ve never met.”

“Mmm,” Ki Wan agreed, giving a quiet murmur and nod of the head.

“I’m sorry this has all been so rushed. My family seemed determined that I should marry, and before I knew it they said they had found me a bride!” He took a swig of alcohol.

Ki Wan was still frozen, craving food but not wanting to let his guard down.

“I mean, not that I don’t want to marry you … I mean, I’ve never met you… it’s a bit… you know…” He poured himself another cup.

Perhaps, Ki Wan thought, if Ho Seon drank enough, he could avoid a confrontation entirely! Maybe he could lie, and tell Ho Seon in the morning that they had consummated their marriage, and that Ho Seon was simply too drunk to remember?

“Ughh. Sorry I feel like I’m making this worse. I don’t know what to say.” Another drink. “Could you… I mean… you can show me your face now – we’re alone. If you want to, I mean. You seem scared. I hope you’re not scared of me. I promise I won’t… do anything.”

Ki Wan steeled himself, and slowly lowered his arms just a fraction, so that he could see Ho Seon. Their eyes met for a moment, and Ki Wan quickly averted his gaze down again. No scars, no disfigurement, Ho Seon was the picture of health. Handsome and youthful, his warm brown eyes glimmering from the alcohol.

Another pang of guilt. Ho Seon looked so innocent. Evidently, he knew nothing of his family’s under-hand dealings, or that his bride had been bought for him. He was like an overexcited puppy, full of nervous energy. Ki Wan’s initial plan, to manipulate or swindle his new husband into either ignorance or compliance started slipping away. He felt the urge to suddenly come clean, to let everything come tumbling out.

He lowered his arms completely, and felt a wave of relief wash over him. He expected Ho Seon to suddenly jump back in fright, or exclaim “NAMJA! A MAN!” But his reveal inspired no such reaction. He looked up at Ho Seon who was gazing back at him.

“Oh.” Ho Seon sighed through a tipsy smile, “You’re beautiful.”

Ki Wan’s breath stopped in his throat. This was not what he planned. Was Ho Seon so drunk that he could not tell Ki Wan was a man? Or was Ki Wan’s disguise more convincing than he had thought it would be? Perhaps it was the bridal make-up and adornments?

Before he could properly regain his breath, or think of something to say, Ho Seon was reaching out a hand toward his face. Ki Wan wanted to swat it away, but something in the earnest look on Ho Seon’s face stopped him from moving. Ho Seon gingerly reached across the table, and his fingers softly brushed Ki Wan’s cheek, just near his ear, and only for a moment. But the touch was enough to send goose-bumps shooting down Ki Wan’s neck and arms. He must have made a noise, because Ho Seon quickly drew back his hand to the table, and poured himself another drink.

~ ~ ~

TBC (Next Parts Here}

Authors Note: Sorry this is unbeta’d atm. So this started as a bit of fun and has already gotten out of hand. As you can see I have completely re-written my own reasons for the wedding because I couldn’t stand the lack of explanation or logic in the show haha

So far this is all just like filling the blank plot-holes of the first episode. But I’m excited to get to the cute stuff, and can’t wait to write some heavy sexual tension and mutual pining as their marriage develops.

Let me know if you guys enjoy it, and I will try to write more asap! Feel free to send prompts too if you want!

Enjoy!

#nobleman ryu's wedding #kdrama #korean bl #류선비의 혼례식 #bl series #kdrama fanfic #kang insoo #Lee Sejin #choi ki wan #ryu ho seon #nobleman ryus wedding

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