#he’s chaos incarnate and I just want to keep him in my pocket

[characteranalyst]

Phayu Character Analysis : The Man With a Borrowed Halo and One Foot in Hell

“My brother is far from simple, you’ll get burned if you don’t know how to play with fire” - Saifah

Gather round LITA obsessed children for an in depth analysis of our resident Daddy Dom Brat Tamer Phayu who Christian Grey wished he was and tried to be. You either hate him, love him, want to be him or all of the above.

I know PhayuRain’s arc seems like on the surface just a fluffy little romance with no need for lengthy think pieces.  But I’m obsessed with their dynamic and I could not let the hyper-fixation pass before doing a character analysis. Phayu haunts the periphery of dreams and I am hoping that this analysis will help me exorcise this beautiful spectre so I can finally know peace.

As much as I would genuinely love to crack open his skull and unspool all of his thoughts and motivations I cannot do that. So disclaimer obviously this will just be conjecture and my opinion and I am going to try and stick as closely as possible to canon and refrain from falling into head canon territory.

I have read Love Storm but I’m only going to be referencing how Phayu behaves in the series because I prefer that version of him. Also this is going to be a very LONGGGG post. I have many thoughts on this man. Feel free to skim through or save it to read for some other time.

I am mainly going to be speaking about the main character traits that I have observed from him and how he relates to the rest of the characters in the series. I think I am going to make a separate analysis of his dynamic with Rain because going in depth with that would be too much for me to mention here. 

Alright let’s get into it.

(1) EARLY CHILDHOOD AND YOUNG ADULTHOOD

We are given little to no information on his childhood and or young adulthood. What we do know is that his parents left him and Saifah an incredible house and the luxury garage so we can assume that they weren’t strapped for cash.  

Him and Saifah seem like two relatively well adjusted young men so I guess we can assume that there was little to no childhood trauma. In episode 6 during their pillow talk Phayu tells Rain that his parents are off living in Korat and enjoying their lives, I’m assuming. So I guess they’re not divorced. So he has no ‘separated parents’ trauma to deal with.

The only thing that gives us a little insight into how his childhood affected who he became as a person was when he told Rain the story of how his mother always used to argue with his father about how he could fix bikes beautifully but he could not build a house for them.

So Phayu decided that he was going to ensure that he was able to fulfil both by becoming a mechanic and an architect. I think from this we can conclude that Phayu is an overachiever and this displays his seemingly constant need to be perfect and the best.

I think this may also come from a child’s instinctual need to please their caretakers and make them proud. Phayu also seems like someone who has had a Type A personality from birth. In contrast to Saifah who seems like a little more laid back more go with the flow type.

From this little snippet of information we can also assume that his affinity for being a mechanic was either inherited from his father or taught to him and Saifah.

In conclusion it’s safe to say that Phayu does not really seem to have any trauma to speak of, he's just kinky.  I like the fact he doesn’t have any heavy trauma or unsavoury character traits (well I take this back he’s a little pushy and manipulative) he needs to get over. There is beauty in this simplicity where as a result, the majority of the narrative is focused on Phayu Rain falling in love with each other.

(2)   PHAYU AND HIS AIR OF MYSTERY (DR JEYKLL AND MR HYDE)

One thing that stood out to me when we as an audience were introduced to Phayu was his air of mystery. Everyone knows of him of course because he has been knighted as the God of the faculty of architecture.  But we see quickly that very few people actually know him personally. We can see how this fact plays out in the series through the following examples:

Pun says that she has no idea what kind of business Phayu runs but it's ok because she likes a man with a little mystery. (Episode 1)

Phayu refuses to tell Rain what he likes to eat on their first date because he says that Rain has to know him a lot longer before he can ‘snoop for information’ as he puts it. (Episode 3)

Phayu shares only a little information about his life with his senior Mhok before abruptly cutting the conversation short so as to not reveal too much information about his personal life. (Episode 4)

Phayu only reveals deep information about himself and his parents and childhood to Rain after their second time during pillow talk. (Episode 6)

He also doesn’t really seem to have close friends except for Prapai and Saifah. I don’t really think Saifah counts because he’s more of an unwilling captive because they have to share everything that their parents left them. I really don’t think they would even be friends if they weren’t brothers honestly because of their differing personalities. 

I think this ability to guard what he reveals to people helps maintain his mystique. There needs to be a certain level of distance and holding people at arm’s length that needs to take place in order for people to project their fantasies onto him and build him up as some sort of God among men.

I think the reason people idolise Phayu and like him so much is because they like the idea of him rather than the reality of him. I think if more people knew who he actually was in reality, they would be put off by how intense he is.

Rain seems like the only person who had become disillusioned with the idea of Phayu. After the debacle in Episode 1 he sees Phayu not as his ‘cool handsome big bike bro” but as a pushy piece of shit bastard that tried to assault him. I also think some of his anger towards Phayu had to do with him being confused by his feelings for him;  creating a cocktail of confusion for poor Rain to sort out. So he was able to view Phayu as a person and not place him on a pedestal like other people do.

I think this is what PhayuRain’s relationship needed to flourish as well because Phayu needs someone who is able to challenge him. We are well aware of how much he loves brats. The worshipful gaze of Som and Pun would not be satisfactory for him because they had him on a pedestal and were blinded by their idea of him so they would readily submit to him without much push back.

He needed someone with a backbone who could engage in a sort of push and pull relationship with him and our adorable little firecracker Rain was the perfect match. Phayu has people falling at his feet daily; he was in need of much more excitement than that.

Like the story of the titular character Dr.Jekyll a well-respected scientist who used his alter ego Mr.Hyde to delve into the darker side of science without repentance or taking responsibility; Phayu has that same sort of duality. I think Phayu keeps his kinky side under wraps and he’s very careful about whom he shows that part of himself to. Presumably only his lovers or potential lovers get to see his ‘bad side’.

So his DR JEKYLL would be, so to speak,the Phayu that is seen as a smart, capable, polite, helpful and well-adjusted young man, loved by all and sought after by many. This is the Phayu that would leave a random stranger his set square with an encouraging message about his future in architecture.

On the flip side his MR HYDE would be Dom Daddy Brat Tamer Phayu with a penchant for sadism and degradation.

At the end of the day both sides come together to make up who Phayu is as a person and there is nothing inherently wrong with his Mr. Hyde as long as he is able to channel it and engage with it safely with willing participants. Fortunately for him, he has Rain for that.

(3) WONKY MORAL COMPASS BUT STRINGENT PERSONAL RULES 

I really had a hard time dissecting this part. But I have come to the conclusion that Phayu deserves to be labelled as a morally grey or morally ambiguous person. I really have a soft spot for morally grey characters in media or literature. 

It makes the narrative far more interesting to follow. In real life however I would run in the opposite direction and call the police. But this isn’t supposed to be real, it's supposed to be a fantasy so I’m not going to go too much in depth about Phayu’s moral failings. This show doesn’t take itself too seriously so I’m not going to either.

Phayu is not a ‘nice’ person plain and simple and he knows it, contrary to Pun’s expository gushing in the first episode of the show when she refers to him as “super-duper nice”. After the spanking incident in Episode 2 (which was wild now that I think of it) where Rain declares that he is going to make him fall in love with him he says to himself;

 “You’re going to make me fall in love with you but do you know what kind of man I am.”

I think Phayu says this because he knows himself thoroughly the good, the bad and the ugly. Phayu has overcome himself. He has recognized all his shortcomings, all his base desires, all his lowliness, all the self-imposed restraints he places upon himself and overcome them. 

Phayu also strikes me as someone who has engaged with his shadow self and explored the parts of his psyche that most of us would repress and compartmentalise because we are too ashamed of our darkness to engage with it.

He has looked his darkness in the face and come to terms with it. That is why he says, "Do you know what kind of man I am?", because he understands people’s perception of him lies in stark contrast to his unsavoury character traits.

I also think his dabbling in BDSM has given him the room and space to conduct such exploration of himself in a safe, sane and consensual way. I think the nature of BDSM can afford people an outlet to engage with their own darkness and sort through it so that it doesn’t manifest in their life in other ways.

In Episode 1 we see where Prapai likens him to the devil (jokingly) but under every joke there is definitely some truth. If Prapai is calling him that it must be the truth because as we know Prapai looks like his only close friend.

We can assume that Prapai is incredibly familiar with Phayu’s Mr. Hyde as we can presume that they know each other very well so his assessment of dubbing Phayu as a devil must be accurate. 

Also head canon (I know I said I was going to refrain from going into head canon territory but please indulge me a bit) I’m sure they’ve fucked before in a bro-ish kind of way. I mean their both hot and bi and Prapai’s a sub in top’s clothing (I know Dom/sub and top/bottom are two separate things just enjoy the joke you know what I mean)  so it’s not far fetched to think they would have at some time fucked around a bit. 

Although I know Phayu is hardly the correct type of Dom for Prapai’s specific brand of subbiness. The point is I think that Prapai would be privy to Phayu’s true nature and how much of a little shit he can be when he isn’t using his powers for good.

In Episode 5 Saifah, the only other person we see having a close relationship with Phayu refers to him as a Devil as well.

I just know these two have witnessed some shit over the years of knowing Phayu that warranted him being referred to as a Devil.

Discussing Phayu’s moral code is very weird because it’s obvious that he doesn’t really adhere to a normal set of rules. We can assume he’s not particularly religious because it wasn’t mentioned.

I think Phayu is very domineering and kind of manipulative but at the same time he commands an air of respect. He is not necessarily what you would expect from someone who is so widely lauded as an exemplary person.

What also struck me about Phayu was the fact although his moral code seems a little flexible he has a few hard and fast non-negotiable rules that may seem arbitrary to someone like Rain but to him it may as well be gospel. 

One of these rules in the show is seen where we see he has a big thing for respect. We see an example of this when he calls Rain after he picks up his car from the garage and he tells Rain that only ill-mannered boys don’t greet the owner of the house when they stop by. He also ends the call by telling Rain to be respectful. We also see his thing for rules when he tells Rain that he doesn’t like ill-mannered boys and that he should address him as P’Phayu emphasising the use of honorifics.

Phayu is also a man of his word in Episode 7 when Rain tells Phayu that he will unleash his wrath on him if he ever cheats on him. Phayu just laughs and says he will never let Rain down. He holds true to this in the Special Episode when Rain accuses him of cheating on him with Natsu he utters the same sentiment that he promised to never let Rain down. This man looked absolutely horrified at the accusation like he wouldn’t even dream of it.

I think his strict adherence to rules other than him being a Dom could also be influenced by his exposure and affiliation with the likes of P’Pakin and P’Chai.  He knows that there will be dire consequences if the rules aren’t strictly adhered to. This is why he curses Stop for mentioning the race in public and he reprimands Rain for thoughtlessly wandering into the illegal street race without permission to be there.

BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE

He’s so stringent about ensuring that Rain is polite and respectful but he thinks it’s perfectly fine to tamper with Rain’s car so that he would have an excuse to be his knight in shining armour and save him so they could hook up. The math is not mathing at all. I know he’s an experienced mechanic and he wouldn’t have tampered with anything that would have led Rain getting in an accident and getting injured but still. WEIRD BEHAVIOUR KHUN PHAYU!!!!!! Also don’t even get me started on him using the debt of fixing Rain’s car as some weird way to stalk him??? RED FLAGGGGGG!! His methods of courtship definitely need some fine tuning. 

In conclusion his contradictory moral code gives me whiplash trying to figure out where on the scale from angel to devil I should place him. But I think he’s just human. No one is all good and all bad and I think that Mame writes very human raw characters that make you feel something. I’ll give credit where credit is due.

(4) AN EERIE LEVEL OF SELF CONTROL AND THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT 

This man probably never has New Year’s Resolutions because he’s already operating at optimal condition. Phayu is portrayed to be quite literally always in control. The only time he looks undone is after THAT SCENE in Episode 6.

We see this self-control manifest in the way he makes love to Rain in a very formulaic, worshipful and almost performative manner. Gently throwing Rain’s head back, holding his hands down and caging his body. Rain responds in kind to his dominance by always baring his throat in submission and allowing his body to go lax under Phayu’s ministrations.

It’s so gentle but he’s still being dominant and in control. While Rain always looks halfway between heaven and earth during these scenes Phayu always seems wholly present and tethered to earth (like a good Dom should be) creating a space in which his precious sub can feel safe enough to fly out of this stratosphere.

The subtlety with which he maintains control makes me absolutely feral. There is hardly any jostling or manhandling but it’s still forceful. I think a great example of the subtlety of how Phayu displays his dominance can be seen in the PhayuRain make-out scene in Episode 5.

The natural way he cages Rain’s neck to control the flow of the kiss.

The way he stop kissing Rain when Rain tries to lead and he put a finger to his lips in a way that almost screams “Relax I’m in charge here.”

Unlike our donut firecracker Rain (my sweet boy) that was ready to scrap at the first sign of disrespect, Phayu seems like he is not one to resort to violence if they could sort it out by just talking and coming to an amicable solution.

We can see an example of this where Phayu refused to be baited by Stop into fighting with him even though Stop was about to punch him at the night racing circuit in the beginning of Episode 6.

Also before the race between him and Stop where Stop was trying to rile him up. He was able to remain level headed while Stop immediately lost his cool and tried to fight him once again when Phayu insulted him.

I’m assuming this self-control is more nature than nurture. It seems like he is the type to have always been calm and self-contained. He doesn’t need to bark loudly because his competence and self-assuredness speaks volumes. 

He quite literally doesn’t yell often he just uses that husky dom voice. The only time he ever really raised his voice was when he was shouting at Rain in Episode 2 when he was worried that he could have gotten killed for sneaking into the illegal street circuit race.

The thing about dominance and control that I think people like Stop with fragile egos get wrong is that they think it comes from a place of aggression, peacocking and forcing people to bow to your will. This is however not the sort of dominance that will truly gain you respect and have people willingly obey you.

Phayu’s dominance and control comes from a place of nurturing and caring and people only defer to him and his authority because he has proven time and time again that he is capable of shouldering the responsibility of what this control entails and he has consequently gained their respect because of it.

(5) PRIDE GOES BEFORE A FALL 

No matter how level headed he is and self-control he possesses he’s still a man and he has been socialised to exist as a man. So he’s not above engaging in a motorcycle race with an asshole like Stop to prove a point and because of his pride.

I like how this moment humanised Phayu and showed how no matter how above petty human emotions he seems, he’s still liable to fall victim to making decisions based on ego.

However, I like that he was self-aware enough to realise that he was indeed only participating in this race because of his pride because he says to Rain when he tries to stop him some things just don’t have an explanation. 

We can contrast him racing Stop because of his pride and him kneeling before Stop and crawling to save Rain from being hurt. Although he has an ego he was more than willing to put pride aside to ensure Rain’s safety.

(SIDENOTE- I died watching the kidnapping ordeal in episode 7 that shit was so unserious. The picture of Rain that Stop sent Phayu lives in my head rent free and I cackle from time to time because of it.) 

(6) “P’PHAYU LHOR MAKKKKK!” – Pun  (PRETTY PRIVILEGE AND THE HALO EFFECT)

Physical appearance is often a major part of the halo effect. People who are considered attractive tend to be rated higher as possessing positive traits in contrast to people who aren’t considered conventionally attractive.

I think beauty can be blinding and make people more willing to overlook people’s misgivings. As the halo effect states people are more likely to project good qualities on to people they deem to be conventionally attractive.

As I said when I was addressing his air of mystery; because people are so predisposed to projecting all these good qualities on Phayu the distance and the space that he creates between him and other people can be filled with these projections and good qualities so that they build him up in their minds as this amazing person.

This man radiates and secretes ungodly amounts of sex appeal without trying. So I think his general attractiveness is one of the reasons as well why Rain had a hard time getting people to believe that Phayu was a pushy manipulative little asshole in the beginning.

Do I think Phayu would have commanded the same level of respect that he does without also being pretty? I don’t know to be honest. I do however think Phayu is an unintentional cautionary tale about the dangers of projecting good qualities on someone just because they’re attractive and being blind to their faults.

(7) SELF ASSURED, CONFIDENT AND CHARMING – CONCEITED?

I mean I’d be that confident too if I was rich, handsome, talented, smart ANDDDDD could fuck like a porn star but I digress. Very much a quiet confidence to him as was elaborated on when I spoke about the air of mystery. He is evidently very capable and consequently people rely on him and I think his self- assuredness comes from the fact that he can back up his claims because he has every right to be self-centred.

Without mincing words this man is very conceited. However although he is conceited he doesn’t lack empathy and he doesn’t seem too self-involved as evidenced by the way he ensures that he takes care of the people he cares about.

(8) PHAYU THE COMPULSIVE CARETAKER, CONCEITED BUT NOT SELF-INVOLVED

We see in Episode 4 how Phayu puts Rain’s needs before his by ensuring that Rain focuses on his school work and ensures that his development and advancement as a person comes before pursuing a romantic relationship with Phayu.

He ensures that Rain understands how slacking on his work in pursuance of other things will affect his work life and he lectures him while still comforting him after. I really liked this scene in Episode 3 because Phayu is able to help Rain because he’s older and more experienced and he’s gone through it before. I also like the fact that there isn’t a hint of condescension in his voice, just concern and wanting to ensure that Rain becomes the best version of himself.

Phayu shows how much he cares about Rain and is invested in making Rain a priority in his life in so many little ways. We can see in Episode 5 how Phayu leaves an important meeting to answer Rain’s text messages. Also in Episode 4 When Rain finishes his project early after an all-nighter and instead of sleeping he goes straight to Phayu. Phayu ensures that there is reciprocity in their relationship by saying that you missed out on sleep to come see me, so I'm going to hurry up and finish my work so we can hang out.

He makes an effort to help Rain finish his models like he promised to do in his speech in Episode 5. Also in Episode 4 he apologises to Rain for his phone dying and for making him wait for him in the rain. In Episode 6 after he almost gets in a fight with Stop the first thing he does is ask Rain if he’s alright even though he was the one that almost had a brawl with Stop.

I think we really see throughout the show how the way Phayu interacts with Rain takes on a sort of paternalistic tinge. The title of Daddy is incredibly fitting and I really just think this is him being a good Dom.

That’s why I think this is the reason Phayu looks so touched and taken aback when Rain and him first meet and he holds the umbrella for Phayu while he’s changing his tire. Phayu’s so used to being relied on and being assumed to be competent and well put together. He’s used to giving without expecting anything in return. So when Rain does this small act of kindness in an effort to repay this Good Samaritan, Phayu becomes fascinated with him. 

(9) ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS B.R. (Before Rain)

Was he possibly a whore? Not as much of a whore as Prapai but he has definitely spun the block. Whereas our beloved service top Prapai has built a gated community in which he resides on said block. Phayu had a condom stashed under that toy car so we know he was getting some action.

He was probably not a whore whore because as he said to Rain in the bathroom scene:

We all know why he’s particular. I don’t think he would have been able to find a lot of people willing to put up with his domineering attitude and controlling nature long term if they didn’t have that sort of kink no matter how insanely hot he is.

But there were definitely others before Rain if we can take cues from the offhanded comments of the other characters in the series. Saifah tells Rain in Episode 3 when he’s waiting for Phayu that there were others before him. Was it a lot of others though? The world may never know.

Saifah comments on the fact that Phayu has been single for a long time and Saifah tells him if he wants to be happy like him he should get in a serious relationship. So we can assume that long term romantic relationships for Phayu have more than likely been few and far between. He probably was not celibate though as we see how he was going to have a one night stand with Rain.

We see Saifah saying that he feels bad for whoever is making Phayu smile like that and how he warns him not to be too mean to Rain because he will run away. We can assume that others have been perturbed by how intense Phayu was in the past and they have run off.

I’m sure Saifah knows Phayu very well and even if he isn’t aware of the details of his kinkiness he knows Phayu has a thing about control and a mean streak. At least that’s what Saifah computes it as in his vanilla mind. I’m sure this poor man has heard and seen way too much. JUSTICE FOR SAIFAHH!!!!!!

Lastly before they get together Phayu constantly tests Rain to see if he can handle what a long term relationship with him would look like. I’m sure this comes from things not working out in the past and Phayu wanting to ensure that Rain can handle him.

We can see that Phayu may have abandonment issues from things not working out in the past with his romantic pursuits when in Episode 5 he’s scared and panicked and sad when Rain runs away after they have sex for the first time. I have three theories about this:

(1) He didn’t want to lose Rain because he’s a unicorn and he may never have hope of finding someone so perfect for him again.  

(2) He was abandoned before because he was too much and overbearing and it triggered him.

(3) He’s big on communication and he feels slighted that Rain ran away before they could discuss how their relationship would develop after they had sex for the first time.

It could have quite possibly been a combination of all of the above. Phayu seems like the type to be fully invested in a long term relationship and he seems like someone who loves deeply so I think him testing Rain was him just trying to ensure that Rain was worth the investment before he got too attached.

(10) PHAYU THE SCULPTOR ; HIS OBSESSION WITH POTENTIAL AND MOULDING THINGS TO HIS LIKING 

“Rain before you design a house you need to design your life first”- Phayu

I get the impression that Phayu’s view on life is that everything can be curated and tailored to his liking if he tries hard enough. He’s definitely not a go with the flow kind of person. Every single move he makes is intentional. Looking at his two professions being an architect and his side of job of being a mechanic; these are two things that require moulding, precision.

Architects are able to create and design and bring their vision to life and make it tangible. It’s a very creative profession with the added bonus of having something you designed realised in real life.

Also mechanics are constantly tinkering with engines and in control of powerful machinery. Whether they work on maintenance, diagnostics, or repairs, they have to perform those tasks with exacting detail. That is because this careful work on important vehicle components could save someone’s life.

This speaks to Phayu’s pedantic nature with the added element of not wanting to deal with the consequences of disappointing Pakin. These machines are kind of like a puzzle to be solved.

But the catch is those things aren’t really his and they don’t truly belong to him.

In Episode 3 we can infer that sometimes clients may criticize his designs and he has to mould it to their liking instead of relying on his own vision.

In Episode 1 Prapai tells him your babies are so beautiful (referring to the motorcycles) but Phayu corrects him and says that they don’t belong to him.

But I think that although he doesn’t own these things and that he may be required to tailor the design of a house to someone else’s liking still these tasks scratch his itch for moulding and creating.

Then *enter stage left* a wild Rain appears, a blank canvas unmarred by past sexual or romantic experience. He has no expectations and no idea how anything works so he’s able to become a sort of pliable clay that Phayu can use his deft fingers to mold to his liking consequently making Rain his.

We can are shown how their relationship is mutually beneficial and how it works for them. Different folks have different strokes.

The glint in his eyes and the way Phayu all but shivers in excitement every time Rain tells him he can’t do something. 

Episode 4 – "I’ll teach you"

Episode 6- "I'll train you to be the best rider"

In the infamous Daddy scene in the special episode he says "When I teach I teach to the core" 

It’s not explicitly stated but I’m sure this man got off constantly at the fact that he was Rain’s first everything when it came to sex and romance and he is constantly in charge of moulding him.

We can definitely see how much of a diligent student and quick learner Rain is and how Phayu is consequently able to enjoy the fruits of his labour. (SIDE NOTE: I’m sure Phayu wasn’t prepared for the monster he created in Rain.)

I love the reciprocity in their relationship as Phayu shows Rain just how desired he is and worships him constantly.

(11) WHY HE WAS DEFINITELY A KID WHO HATED SHARING HIS TOYS 

Phayu strikes me as a man who knows exactly what he wants and  how to obtain it and when he finds it he will hold on to it and never let it go. We are given countless examples of Phayu’s blatant possessiveness over Rain once they begin their unorthodox courtship.

When after their first time Phayu says to Rain that he must repeat the phrase “Rain belongs to P’Phayu.”back to him.

This man heard that Pun was in Rain’s general vicinity and immediately drove to him to stake his claim. Also when he admits to being “insanely jealous” of Pun ever since he heard that Rain used to have a romantic interest in her.

He removes Saifah’s hand from Rain’s shoulder in Episode 4 and tells him to get back to work after Saifah suggests that he could teach Rain how to ride a super bike.

I do think this possessiveness is also in part because Phayu realises how much of a rare find Rain is and he will do everything in his power to ensure that they stay together forever. I also think in contrast, Rain’s possessiveness has more to do with him constantly having to fight off potential suitors because everyone is in love with Phayu (well the idea of him). 

I appreciate however that his possessiveness isn’t portrayed as particularly toxic because in episode 5 when Phayu is having lunch with Sky and Rain and Rain tells Sky he loves him after he told him that Phayu and him were dating.

Instead of getting unreasonable jealous of Rain and Sky’s obviously platonic relationship, Phayu simply says that he has no reason to be jealous because he knows that Sky and Rain are just friends.

I think if they ever decided on venturing out and engaging in a threesome it would 100% be Rain’s idea in order to satiate his own curiosity. Phayu would go along with it (ever indulgent of his sweet boy) but he would probably have to be in control the entire time while simultaneously barking orders at the third party about how to pleasure Rain properly.

(12) THE SADISTIC  LITTLE SHIT (AFFECTIONATE) AND HIS “DEK NGO”  "DEK NARAK"

I know PhayuRain and their kink list is longer than the elevator ride to hell but I’m going to focus on what in my opinion is Phayu’s poison of choice. That is sadism and degradation.

More specifically emotional and psychological sadism mostly. I don’t think he’s particularly opposed to physical sadism though. In the special episode he said he punished Rain until he was sore but Rain liked it. Although this is vague and he could have been sore for different reasons we see in Episode 2 when Phayu is berating Rain for breaking into the illegal race that isn’t above spanking Rain.

I don’t really know for sure if Rain is a masochist though I think he is definitely willing to try things with Phayu but he didn’t really seem to enjoy the spanking but I guess that was mostly because they didn’t know each other that well.

So I think while Phayu is mainly an emotional sadist and he prefers it he partakes in physical sadism with Rain because I think Rain would prefer that more based on his personality. This is mainly because of his obvious praise kink.

(CC: Rain’s blissed out expression when Phayu whispered “keng mak” i.e. “Good job” in his ear in the bathroom stall scene after Rain had followed his instructions.)

So the degradation that comes along with emotional sadism may not be Rain’s cup of tea.

After the incident in Episode 3 where Phayu told Rain to change ‘ngo’ to ‘narak’ ; I think he realised how insecure Rain was about being called stupid and that this was a hard limit for Rain. We can see as the story progress after this incident where Phayu either calls him “naughty boy” or some version of good boy.

I do think that this is an example of how Phayu is willing to tailor and transform his kinks and compromise to ensure that Rain is comfortable. He realised that Rain responds far better to praise and made the necessary adjustments.

We also see Phayu’s penchant for degradation and humiliation in  Episode 3 where he buys Rain extra small underwear. Although they were the correct size for Rain, Phayu had to throw  in a little dick size shaming for his own amusement. The smug little smile after he riles Rain up about this speaks for itself. 

However I wanted to fight him when he made my baby Rain cry in episode 5 after he made Rain think that he didn’t want to be with him anymore. Although I kind of feel like this was sort of more punishment for the fact that Rain ran off after their first time in Episode 4 and made him worry. I guess it’s safe to add dacryphilia to their long ass kink list. Phayu you sadistic little shit. 

If we also listen to the words of Phayu in his little speech before they make out in episode 5, I swear the only thing missing from this was Phayu getting down on one knee and proposing to Rain. 

He says:

We can see that he enjoys this and gets off on being the one to tease and degrade Rain. He knows Rain’s limits and he ensures that he follows up any degradation with praise as a  salve to any open wounds he’s caused with his words. I think Rain eventually adapts to this part of Phayu however because in Episode 7 he tells Phayu that he is willing to let Phayu tease him forever. 

I love how they are both willing to adapt and compromise to better serve each other’s needs. Phayu constantly keeps Rain off kilter constantly guessing, constantly teasing him but at the same time he ensures that Rain understands that Phayu loves him and he is valued.

Phayu is constantly and reflexively adjusting himself to meet Rain's needs from moment to moment and I applaud him for it. Good job Daddy you get a gold star for all your hard work.

(13) PHAYU THE INVENTOR OF HEALTHY COMMUNICATION

This definitely has to be one of my favourite things about Phayu. I’m sure Rain isn’t the first person Phayu has attempted to have some sort of D/s relationship with and at the core of this is communication, consent and boundaries. 

D/s relationships especially 24/7 ones involve copious amounts of consent and negotiation and communication but I know that the show couldn’t necessarily explicitly address the fact that they are in a 24/7 D/s relationship so we don’t get any sit down moments where Phayu and Rain discuss it blatantly. However I would assume that at some point Phayu sat Rain down and explained to him what their dynamic is and what was expected of him.

We definitely see how much Phayu values communication in the Special Episode when Rain misreads a situation. Where he sees Phayu talking to Natsu on the couch in Phayu’s home. I mean to be fair sparks were flying between them. I don’t know  if that was just a Boss thing because good God this man can generate sexual tension with a  wall. (Went off on a tangent there moving on back to communication.)

I think that Phayu understands that Rain has a sort of inferiority complex that is made worse by people being constantly baffled as to how Rain ended up with a guy like Phayu. Rain also most likely due to immaturity and lack of life experience has a problem with communication and conflict resolution. 

Phayu has to drag the confession out of Rain about why he’s upset with him. We see where this man has quite literally done nothing wrong yet still he gets on his knees to apologise and tries to make it up to Rain. 

I love that Phayu possesses the maturity to  never allow misunderstandings to remain unaddressed and fester. Although Rain may lack the maturity to speak up and directly tell Phayu what is bothering him in any given situation, Phayu ensures that they talk it out so that their conflicts do not go unresolved and that resentment does not have the opportunity to set in. 

(14) PHAYU SEX & SEXUALITY 

Phayu is an unapologetically shameless and sexual person. This comfortability in his sexuality and his lack of preoccupation with other people's opinion of him allows him to exude a calm self assurance and striking sex appeal subconsciously. 

This comfortability with his own sexuality was displayed many times throughout the series. In Episode 3 when that are at the porridge shop and Phayu goads Rain into being unashamed of the fact that they were in public and on a date with each other.

In Episode 5 after Rain told Sky that he was dating Phayu he said he was happy that Rain told his best friend about them because he understands that he would be apprehensive in case Sky would start to see him differently. I like that he lets Rain come out on his own time and he doesn’t rush him. Lastly in Episode 6 Phayu proudly introduces Rain as his boyfriend to P’ Chai at the street race. 

Phayu is a readymade character who has presumably gone through the stage in his life where he would have explored his sexuality and unusual proclivities and has come to the point of acceptance. I think that is why he is portrayed as someone who knows exactly what he likes and enjoys and is unashamed of it.

This is why he seems to be such a safe place for Rain to explore the full spectrum of his own sexuality.  There is never any judgement in Phayu's eyes when they uncover another one of Rain’s off the walls kinks. We just see at most a sort of mild amusement and an instant willingness to acquiesce and indulge Rain.

Phayu being out and proud made Rain feel like it was ok to have these feelings so his apprehension about identifying as such quickly dissipated.He’s constantly willing to teach, indulge and hold Rain’s hand through this journey and I just think that’s so neat. 

Everyone deserves to have a safe place like Phayu when dipping their toes in and navigating the troubled unpredictable waters of sex and sexuality especially when coming to terms with their own queerness. 

WHAT IS PHAYU’S MAIN MOTIVATION THAT UNDERSCORES EVERYTHING SINGLE ACTION THAT HE TAKES?

The simple answer to this is control. This is important because I don’t see Phayu as someone who particularly chases after power but control? Yes most definitely.Power is the ability to make something happen. Control is the ability to make something happen the way you want. We are all created differently but Phayu needs control at all times in the same way we need oxygen to survive. It’s just the way his wires were crossed. 

Phayu could have easily just admitted to Rain on their first meeting that he remembered him and he could have left it to chance how their encounter would have gone. He could have also gone through the Prapaiesque route and  just pursued Rain himself. 

But he was different; he made sure that he was in control of  their dynamic from the very beginning. The aforementioned options left far too many variables that could have thrown a wrench in Phayu’s end game which was getting Rain. 

He even somehow managed to get Rain to pursue him and have him think that it was his idea. Even though he was the one who liked Rain from the very beginning.

This desperate all-consuming need to be in control at all times is tempered by Phayu’s ability to adequately shoulder the responsibility that comes with that control. Everything he does is calculated. There is always an end goal. Consequently he thrives and is most content when he has someone like Rain to be in charge of in a sense.

The contentment and ease that seems to overtake Phayu when he and Rain are in an established relationship is a sight to see. He’s no longer untethered; he's firm and grounded.

CHARACTER’S RELATIONSHIP TO THE PLOT

There isn’t too much angst and the denouement/final conflict just concerns external factors and has nothing to do with Phayu Rain’s romantic relationship

The plot is just romance; from the meet cute in the rain to the established relationship. I love how we just felt like we were along for the ride to watch two men fall irrevocably in love with each other and fit together perfectly like puzzle pieces.

CHARACTER’S GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT THROUGHOUT THE SERIES

I’m going to be honest I don’t think there was much life altering character growth with Phayu. When we meet Phayu he seems like a fully fleshed out character who knows what he wants and isn’t ashamed of his proclivities and sexuality so there is no room to explore there or for any consequent development. Phayu is a static character with no change in behaviour, and his values and attitudes remain pretty consistent throughout the entirety of the text and the series. 

I don’t think I’m getting over PhayuRain anytime soon. If you got all the way to the end I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. Let me know if you guys have anything to add. The plot as well as the characters in this show were a far cry from perfect but I keep coming back to it so they must have done something right. 

#phayurain #phayu lita #love in the air the series #boss chaikamon #phayu #payurain #noeul nuttarat #phayu love in the air #rain lita #phayu x rain #I’m obsessed with this man #it’s very unhealthy #makes constant grabby hands at his gender #Phayu’s my ideal gender presentation #he’s chaos incarnate and I just want to keep him in my pocket

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hello! I am now home and can respond to your ramblings about my art properly!

PlayBoy:

Thank you!! I'm very proud of the tattoos and had to look up several references for Māori tattoos and they're all so lovely and intricate. The tattoos on his thighs are placeholders until I can find some that are just as intricate and lovely. Fun fact! The moon tattoo is supposed to be a matching tattoo set, the second one being a sun. (You should post the drawings with the crescents! I'm sure that they would look lovely) And yes the hands- I was so pleased with the hands, they were so fun to draw and I'm proud of how they turned out! Though I may have cheated a little and traced a genuine playboy magazine that didn't seem too hard and appealed to me. It lended a hand in how good I drew the hands in this, as directly tracing hands never look good. I say traced but I mostly mean for the prices and the word thingys and the but, and then I referenced that sketch and refined it more until it looked about right. The original magazine had the very satisfying back curve! The highlights hoenstly bring the art together, it just looked boring without them and I wanted to make it pop. Thank you so much!

Space man:

Yes that is space! The tentacles were very fun to draw but it took a little bit to make them look right. He is truly chaos incarnate. Jeremy (The little man off to the left and basically his assistant) doesn't even know what he's doing. Jeremy hates this and hates Maui and is going to berate him later for it /lh. And I put so much effort into the background!! And I'm still only revising it!! There's so much more for me to do with this drawing!! I have so much more to do, it is a very mentally taxing drawing so I'm just taking my time with it. It'll look awesome once it's finished! And thank you so much, I'm glad that it's working out so far!!! And no, it will absolutely not work out and he'll nearly accidently get the crew killed and give Jeremy a heart attack (/hj) (/lh)

Mermaid:

Yes! Mermaids are very fun! I think this au of him was the reason I got into them in the first place, and then I got into angels and demons because of Laproxie on Instagram, and now I've kind of forgotten about both tbut the mermaid has sticked mostly!! Thank you about the fluidity about the tail! I am also very picky about flowy lines and how they work and fish don't have knees. I actually stole the way the colours work from Castle Swimmer on webtoon! It's honestly so beautiful and the story and art is both great and now I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for season three because the two love birds just met again after a long time of trying to find each other and there was so much lore and three comedic witches and it's just beautifully written. The water was the hardest part, I don't like drawing water. But the light scattering were fun! And the white bit on top is either seafoam or light refractions. Ok so I spent a really long time thinking about it and decided he would be more of a deep sea fish (I only drew him in shallow waters because its so much easier to pose) so I made him blue so he could camoflauge! He also has natural bioluminessence that I didn't draw in the because it's very light out. And yes!!! Those are stitches!! Thank you so much!!

Casual:

Yes, it is a very different vibe! It's a lot calmer than the other ones (And less sexually inclined like in the first one, but I would describe him as promiscuous so I feel its fitting) He is very smug and carefree but also quite vain, he can often be seen looking at himself in any reflective surface he can, including a small pocket mirror he takes with him wherever he goes. He has traded comfort for a life of being sexy and his brother is so confused and keeps trying to shove him into something comfortable and Maui Hisses and shys away like he's a cat and his brother is trying to get him into a bath of water. His brother is the opposite and also very buff

I put si much effort into the straps!! I'm very happy to have them recognised!! They gave me a bit of issues but I managed to beat them into looking good. Same with the scarf! Though, most of the credit has to go to the fabric brushes on procreate. I don't know what I would do without them

Thank you so much for taking some time out of your day to view them and comment on them <333 I love it when you ramble so it's absolutely no problem! Ahhh, I'm so glad that my art is colourful and pleasing to look at and I hope to continue sending Maui to your inbox!

I'm very glad that you're slowly piecing him together, and that you seem to enjoy what he is. It is a veyy joyous day <33333

-Heathen

Heathen!! Hello! I have finally gotten to the third ask you sent me that fateful night a few weeks ago! I was not expecting a response at all (probably should've since this is you) so i'm very curious what this contains

that being said my response will be under a cut since. long!

Playboy:

The tattoos were so lovely!! I love tattoos so much I'd love to get a few. I used to have a whole host of tattoos planned out, but that was when I was like 13 and now looking back I'm like wow so glad I was not allowed to get tattoos because I'd now like very different tattoos. Still want a dragon tho. Matching tattoos also sound super cool! Sun and moon imagery is also *chef's kiss.* And I'd forgotten about the crescent art I have but mayhaps I shall post it at some time!

Congratulations on the hands tho the blending between tracing and making it look good can be hard but you did great! For me one of the biggest annoyances when tracing hands is that...they do not match my style. I usually take my own reference photos, so my real life hands when traced don't match my less-realistic style. The translation between the two is annoying sometimes but you nailed it! and highlights are always fun--I frequently go a little too over the top with highlights (especially in curly hair) and then am just like whelp can't do anything about it now (for traditional art at least)

Spaceman:

Yes!! haha!! I know enough about sci-fi to recognize space! Tentacles are like a hit or miss for me. I'm. very picky about the fluidity of lines and tentacles can be a nightmare! Side note: i frequently type out little rants on tumblr and then just save them to my drafts and one of them is about the squiggle of lines.

but poor Jeremy, having to deal with the chaos that is Maui. I don't think him berating Maui is going to change anything but he sure can try.

As for the background, I hope you have fun with it! Those kinds of big detailed drawings can be really draining so good idea to take your time. It already looks awesome so I have no doubts that it'll be even better once you've finished it. What will not get better are Maui's plans everything is going to descend into chaos i fear for Jeremy

Mermaid:

You're so right mermaids are fun. When I think of the ocean I usually think about pirates because my dad is a pirate nerd and he infected me with pirate brainrot, but I also love the idea of sirens and creatures in the water as part of that. And so true fish do not have knees. Maybe we could...do something about that :). your fish has been kneed.

I don't know anything about Castle Swimmer but the colors you stole are very pretty!! Three seasons sounds like a lot tho I don't know how people do it. I say, with a blog heavily focused on an 11 book series. But back to Maui! Camouflage sounds like it could be useful, but also I'm wondering how much light is down in the deep sea and if it'd even be necessary to hide if no one can see you. That's like ingrained hiding in the environment. Just a musing though, the design is still very pretty. Something something all I hear after that is bioluminescence which is hella cool I'd like to also glow in the dark. Maybe that was my thought process when I accidentally cracked a glow stick into my eyes when I was a child, I was trying to become bioluminescent

Casual:

it is so much calmer than the others but also still has the wicked expression from the space one. Like he may look nice in terms of his appearance, but he also looks malevolent and like trouble. Good for him for the self-confidence tho. Sometimes you just need to stare into your own soul through a mirror. Though if you don't blink long enough then your face will stare to distort and you'll stop recognizing yourself, at least in my experience. it's pretty cool.

that is hilarious that Maui's brother is trying to unsexy him I love that so much. Just confused but supportive "it's cold out you can't wear that" and maui's in booty shorts and fishnets and a crop top, that's the dynamic I'm imagining rn.

yes!! the fabric texture is so impressive! thank you to the fabric brushes for giving heathen the tools they need to make cool art of a sexually chaotic part robot man.

thank you for sharing your art with me! I was very honored when you directly sent it to me even after you'd already posted it, it was like an "oh? you went out of your way to make sure I saw this?" moment /pos. I will enjoy as much as you have to say about Maui, so feel free to continue sending him!! he is a little puzzle I am gleefully putting together in my head one bit at a time and it's lovely.

#quil's queries #heathen nonsie #other's ocs #long post #i am simply getting to know him your honor #i'm watching him develop into a person in my head #rotating him around like a blorbo

[authoralexharvey]

A!

Thanks for the ask! I know of a couple of characters. I'm sure there's a couple more characters somewhere that I'm forgetting but here's the ones I do remember!

Sage Aleta is a priestess in a temple who was training to be a keeper of the Archives, which are like... the Library of Alexandria in a pocket dimension. That is, until out of nowhere it was decided her life's purpose was Elsewhere, which put her on a different island entirely. She's part of the main trio of Storm Rage, a D&D thing I've been pecking at off and on for a couple of years.

Adelade Tate is a character I love to kick around from time to time. She makes an appearance in Lilium, as well as a separate story. Her whole shtick is she is, at one point, a member of the Magistrate, who maintains the world of the Supernaturals and keeps them from bleeding too much into the world of humans. She plays a,,,, antagonistic? role in Lilium because she is responsible for Oliver's second death as well as being ordered to kill Lilith. In her separate story, she is a full-vampire ordered to kill halflings (humans who have been steeped too much in the world of the Supernaturals and thus are becoming ones themselves--albeit a lesser, more dangerous breed) The framing of the story is the most interesting part, because aside from the moment where we see her origins, Adelade herself is never the POV character. It's always in the POV of the person she's tasked to hunt next. Nevertheless, we get to see how these jobs she does are slowly wearing on her. I really want to get back to this at some point tbh.

Abraxas is the main antagonist of Lilium, though he doesn't show up directly for half the book. He is a Scourge, which is when a Supernatural loses the rest of their tethers to humanity and goes rogue. He is suggested to have been involved in Oliver's first death and comes back to torment Lilith and urge her down the same path as her brother. I like him a lot because he's just,,, chaos incarnate. While I like most of my villains to have like. Actual goals and whatnot, sometimes it's fun to have someone who just wants to watch the world burn.

Send me a letter of the alphabet A-Z, and if I have an OC starting with that letter, I’ll tell about them.

#sage aleta #adelade tate #abraxas #tucoat #storm rage #ask and you shall receive #alex has the floor

[ruby-whistler]

yes, i’m writing third life fanfiction because i can

grian and scar have become my second favorite dynamic duo right after the memento mori boys and no i do not take constructive criticism <3

even if you don’t watch the series reading this would be appreciated!

all of this is platonic, including platonic hand holding - no real warnings, just bonding and emotional comfort :]

Grian walked up the stairs of the sandcastle, dragging step after step with shoulders hunched in exhaustion.

Despite the slight frustration at its size now, he’d taken a liking to the building. It had taken him days to make, not even counting the effort it took to collect all of the sand and wood. It looked beautiful standing on top of Monopoly Mountain, he had to admit, and the way the hastily crafted sandstone glittered in the light made it somewhat of a lighthouse in the desert, reflecting the moon’s rays at night when the outside was most dangerous.

He reached the top of one of the towers, and his tired expression melted into somewhat satisfaction upon seeing a pink sunset fall over golden trees, his friend’s brown hair softly blowing in the wind.

“Hey, Scar,” he said, hoping not to startle the other.

His legs were hanging over the railings leisurely, the close distance to a deadly drop causing an uneasy feeling to settle in Grian’s stomach; Scar slowly turned his head and gave him a smile.

“Hey there.” He shifted, staying seated on the carved birch. His eyes were glazed over, and his smile slightly slipped off his face into a more neutral expression as he turned his head back around to stare at the horizon.

The silence was nice, Grian thought. That day had been a lot, and adrenaline drenches you of energy quickly. Redstone was caught in the loose threads of his sweater, and there was sand in his iron boots. Running through the desert and struggling to get past their own defenses was like smears in his mind, stained with an echoing explosion and panicked shouts.

“Anything on your mind?” he asked after a while, setting himself down besides Scar.

“I... Grian, are you ever... scared of me, now that I’m a red name?” his eyes drifted over to his friend, heels banging on the walls below them, with no concern of dirtying them - and really, why should he care?

It wasn’t like they would last long. Who focuses on gunpowder in their hair when they’re standing next to a killer, bound by invisible chains?

Grian should stop concentrating so much on the details. It might cost him a lot, someday.

“I mean I don’t... I didn’t want to kill people before. I just wanted to have a monopoly, to- control the economy through an elaborate scheme. I thought it would give us better chances at survival.”

Grian opted to ignore the plural in the last sentence, and hummed in agreement. “And now?”

Scar’s clothing rustled, head tilted forwards with his palms laid bare on his knees. “I don’t know,” he responded, looking into them like he was expecting red, “it’s like I have a drive.”

A moment passed as the two looked ahead in thought, no rushing on their minds now that the day was over. The world moves slower when the battlefield is empty.

“Well, I guess... I’m still gonna be there, aren’t I?” Grian responded, arms heavy and leaning back on his hands.

The promise remained unbroken for now, and so did assurance he would be there for Scar, no matter if he himself wanted it or not.

Well, what was it really that Grian wanted? He didn’t know anymore.

He had simply wanted to scare everyone, just wanted to have fun, once, and it landed him here, in a game of survival, with a reluctant murderer whose time was running short. Life doesn’t listen to what you want, and sometimes that is the only constant.

“Tell me, Grian, do you get a... thrill, from taking a life?” Scar lifted up his head, prompting eye contact. “You didn’t have to propose the trap idea, we wouldn’t have taken three lives today.”

Grian looked back down, conflicting feelings stirring in his stomach. “Well...” he started slowly, a smile creeping into his eyes, “Smajor did call me a chaos incarnate.”

Something of relief, of amusement, of straight up baffled laughter coming out of him, so hard he thought his lungs would deflate - standing on top of the hill, looking down upon the crater of his own creation, destruction caused by the victims’ mistakes and sheer luck.

He didn’t think before that he’d call three people losing a life lucky.

“Well, maybe I’m rubbing off on you?” Scar interrupted his train of thought.

“Uh-huh, sure. More like the other way around,” Grian retorted, nudging Scar’s shoulder with a chuckle. “You’re more of a danger to yourself than to anyone else.”

Scar snorted, rubbing his shoulder with his other hand. “Yeah, says the one who took my first life on accident.”

“I mean, that only further proves my point, now doesn’t it?” Grian ignored the stinging feeling of guilt at the mention of his mistakes, pushing it back with a bittersweet smirk.

“Guess you’re right about that one. I still have a few people on my hitlist, though, and they better be ready for me to be a danger to them. Us, I mean,” Scar corrected.

It felt nice, though Grian didn’t know whether to admit it to himself or not. Maybe it would’ve been easier to choose who to be aligned with, but so far, it hasn’t been the worst to be here.

“Just keep in mind I’m not killing anyone, and I’m not getting killed to save you from being an idiot,” he commented.

“Me? Be an idiot? Never!”

Scar’s wide smirk sparked something like quiet determination. The blueprints for a small creeper farm lay folded in Grian’s pockets. The day might’ve been over for most of the server, but there was still work to be done. A couple more nights awake couldn’t hurt, he told himself through heavy eyelids and bruised hands weighing him down, sleep could wait.

“I’m going to get some water from the river. G’night, Scar,” he lied, pushing himself up to stand.

“Can you answer a question, and please be honest with me - would you still be friends with me if it wasn’t for the life debt?”

Grian stopped in his tracks, turning back to his liege to look him in the eyes, an intangible expression on his face.

“Is that an order?”

The light was dissipating from the sky, and scattered torches below them seemed to be getting brighter. The night approaching made the small castle seem safe; a beacon of peace, for now at least. Fingers rhythmically tapped on the balcony as Grian shifted, eyes fixed on Scar’s line of sight.

“I don’t think so.”

There was an air of uncertainty to the words, much like anything spoken that day. New developments always sparked doubts. It was strange, to pretend anything was evident.

“I don’t think I would be here with you if it wasn’t for the life debt, no,” Grian said, and he knew it was the truth, but it felt like a decision to admit it.

There was no bitterness or disappointment on Scar’s face. Perhaps something in between.

Grian shuffled closer to his friend, now sitting comfortably - or as much as the gritty sandstone allowed him to - and put a hand on his.

“But I... am happy this is how things ended up, I think.”

“I think so too,” Scar replied with a brightness in his voice.

#third life smp #3rdlifesmp #3rd life smp #3rd life fanfiction #grian #goodtimeswithscar #fanfiction #my writing

[breadoffoxy]

Blood and Darkness

Summary: You were Death and Jungkook was Life. Two sides of the same coin bonded through blood and darkness.

Written for the BTS Ghosite Marathon. Prompt: Theme: X-Inspired, x = Hades

Drabble: 7/30

Pairing: Thanatos!Reader x Zagreus!Jungkook

Genre: fluff, humor, minor angst

Warnings: small Hades spoiler, mentions of blood and violence but not depicted in detail, tiny amount of angst in the form of feeling betrayed and abandoned

Word Count: 1,067

A/N: I love Hades and want to do more of this with other groups since there are so many amazing characters. I’d love to hear your thoughts on which character you would make each member if you know the game. Also, knowledge of the game isn’t required to understand this. Think of it as a Greek mythology au.

You would go to the ends of the world for Jungkook. Which is saying a lot considering you were Death. Nearly everything was in your reach except the far realms of the underworld belonging to Chaos. Yet despite being the literal incarnation of death, you couldn’t stop him from dying over and over again.

Namjoon once told you to think of it as a cycle of rebirth. He believed Jungkook to be the god of blood and life. Fitting, you thought, with the family motto being blood and darkness. The warrior also continued on saying the two of you were two sides on the same coin. With a chuckle, he explained that’s probably why the two of you got along so well despite your opposite demeanor. You never seen him laugh so much when you said with a straight face, “A coin with common sense on one side and stupidity on the other.”

Jungkook’s return is, as always, loudly announced by your brother, which you hear now. Jin always has the most wonderful advice such as did you try not stepping into that trap and wow Jimin’s whip hurts, don’t get hit by it. Obviously.

Despite Jungkook’s best efforts you still are distant from your brothers, but you are trying. You swear he’s closer to them than you’ll ever be though. Yoongi will most likely remain a mystery to you as your interactions, at best, are more of a business transaction than anything. You bring him dead souls, and he grumbles and ferries them across the River Styx. The two of you appreciate the simplicity of it all.

“Ah, here you are brooding in your corner again I see.”

“I’m not brooding.” Turning, you see Jungkook striding towards you with a grin in his red and black robes. His feet glow like burning embers, lively and bright just like his essence. “Why are you so happy to be back?”

Jungkook doesn’t speak until he’s right next to you. You can feel yourself tense at his closeness, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “I saw her again, my mother.”

No longer does the sting of betrayal hit you when he talks about his mother. You first believed him going on a suicide run out of the underworld to find the woman who left him after his birth to be him spitting on you and everything you’ve gone through. You yelled at him, bitter and resentful, yet you helped him anyways. As pathetic as it sounded, he was your whole world. With each escape attempt he went on you saw him grow and become all the happier with his newfound purpose. Every time he saw you, he’d grin that stupid smile he was wearing now. You learned he wasn’t replacing you, but expanding his world, and you’d do anything to help him because you-

“What are you thinking about?”

You do not startle, you are Death, but Jungkook’s smirk swears you did. Blatantly turning your head to the side, you grumble, “Nothing.” Jungkook’s smirk grows at your answer and before he can go on about it further you whisper, “I’m glad your efforts are proving fruitful. How is she fairing?”

“Well.” Jungkook looks wistful before his face clouds over. “I still feel as if I never have enough time with her.” The look is gone and he is smiling again. “I helped her with her garden and had some strawberries. Have you had them before?”

Tilting your head to the side, you think hard on it. Jungkook’s eyes soften at the sight and continues on when you shrug. “Well, no matter. I must tell Taehyung about the taste. Maybe that will be enough to give him inspiration again.”

“If your fantastical feats you boast haven’t risen him from his mood, then I’m not sure if strawberries are the key.”

“Never know until I try. Come.”

“I rather not.”

Jungkook pulls aside his tunic to show off the large vial of ambrosia.

“Fine.”

The two of you walk through the hall side by side, and you are happy that the master of the house is out. Jungkook stops to give Cerberus a big pat on the head and then he excitedly talks the depressed looking musician. The man actually perks up and strums at his harp. Taehyung asks a question, Jungkook shakes his head, and then the musician’s expression sours. An awful twang sounds out and Jungkook backs away slowly before catching up with you.

“Next time, remind me that I need to bring down some strawberries for him.”

You snort at his remark and nod at Hoseok as you approach the dining area. He waves excitedly at you before screeching at the sight of Jungkook and disappearing at the blink of an eye.

“What did you do this time?”

“Nothing.” Jungkook doesn’t look convinced though. “I think?”

“If by nothing you mean the bloody mess the champion of Elysium dragged in and went on in great detail about your heinous deeds as Hoseok cleaned up after him?” A suave voice asks behind you. Jimin nods at you in greeting as he steps around the table he was at, but just raises an eyebrow at Jungkook.

“Is he really the champion if I keep beating him?” Jungkook doesn’t look ashamed in the least. “Plus, what if I said he deserved it?”

Jimin shrugs, “I could care less about him but what your exploits do to burden the house is something that falls on me. I may be able to put in a good word with you with Hoseok though.” Jimin reaches his arm out, waiting expectantly.

Jungkook, already anticipating this moment, pulls out a bottle of ambrosia. “How about this to sweeten the deal?”

“There is no deal, this is me taking contraband.” Despite his words, Jimin is smiling as he pockets the valuable drink. “Now do try not to get into too much trouble.”

Jungkook watches Jimin leave and once the fury rounds the corner, he pulls out another bottle of the splendid drink. Discreetly, he pours a cup for him and you. Being gods, you didn’t have to eat or drink, but everyone in the underworld never misses their chance to get a taste of the rare delicacy, even you.

“You are unbelievable.”

Jungkook grins over his glass, watching you enjoy the drink. “Oh, come on, you love me.”

“Please,” you scoff, but his words never rang truer.

#btsghostiemarathon #btsghostiebingo #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #bts hades #hades au #greek au #zagreus!Jungkook #thanatos!reader #charon!Yoongi #Megaera!Jimin #Hypnos!Jin #Achilles!Namjoon #Dusa!Hoseok #Orpheus!Taehyung #my writing #blood and darkness

[qvid-pro-qvo]

Hello sweetie. May I have 7) “I dreamt about you last night.”, 14) “Can I have this dance?”, “I couldn’t live without you.” and “I’m yours, in every way possible.” with Sonny Carisi (I'm heads over heels for that man) with female reader, please. Thanks :) - @reading--mermaid

for @reading--mermaid. sonny carisi x female!reader.

word count: 2240

rating: e for everyone, because a wedding brings everyone together, for better or for worse, but in this case definitely for the better (pretty much fluff! tw: mentions of alcohol.) 

-

For the moment, you remember why you wish you could be an only child.

“You’re bringing your boyfriend. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.”

“You know, when I dreamt about you last night, I completely forgot about the part where you’re absolutely insane,” you comment mildly. Your hand reaches for your glass, and Jane just sighs. “Guess it just slipped my mind.”

“Uh-huh. So he’s coming, then?”

Your sister is glaring at you from across the table, but you don’t look at her, focusing instead on the brunch menu.

“Seems like I might try the scallops today,” you hum, and she just rolls her eyes.

“You’re allergic to seafood, dumbass, and you’re bringing your boyfriend.”

“No, I’m not, Jane.” Your voice is firm, and when she narrows her eyes at you, it’s your turn to give the dramatic roll. “Look. I don’t want to bring him. Barb’s my friend, and I love her, and I’m excited for her, but that wedding is going to be shitshow. The last thing I want is to scare him off because dear old Uncle Phil decides to get too rowdy and Aunt Julia decides to drink two bottles of wine instead of one at the reception.”

“That’s just how weddings work,” Jane counters, and when you open your mouth again to argue, she raises her hand. “It’s a shitshow, but it’s sweet. You’re a bridesmaid, sweetheart. And unless you want one of the bridal party trying to flirt with you all night, your boyfriend is the perfect protection. Plus, I want to meet him!”

With a sigh, you lift up your hand to tie your hair back, your scrunchie forcing the mess into a bun. “You’ve met him,” you say, with no lack of petulance, but Jane just sighs.

“Once. For like, ten minutes, in passing. You’re both always busy, and not only that, but I know Mom and Dad wouldn’t mind meeting the guy that you’re basically swooning over every time you talk to them on the phone. How long’s it been that you’ve been gushing about him? A year?”  

That makes your brows raise, and Jane can surely see them even over the menu. “They’re coming, then? For sure?”

“For sure. Uncle Phil paid for their flight. Said he wanted the whole family there, and that means every brother they can manage.” There’s a moment of silence as Jane glances around. The waiter still hasn’t come for your order, and so she busies herself with a drink of water before speaking again, letting you ruminate on the fact. “Just. Think about it. Please? For me?”

So, you do. You think. And while the prospect of Sonny meeting your… eclectic family is terrifying; you can’t help but think that he’s… well. He’s Sonny. And when you think about him meeting your parents, finally…

With a sigh, you put down the menu, interlock your fingers, and when you look up, your sister is flashing her puppy eyes at you.

“Fine. Fine! I’ll ask. And if he’s not busy, which he always is, I’ll bring him,” you relent, just to get her to stop looking at you like that. There are practically tears in her eyes. Immediately she breaks out into a grin, a little cackle added on. “But you owe me the name of your firstborn. I don’t care what David says, sister’s honor.”

“No shit,” Jane returns. You shake on it, making you chuckle. “Easiest deal I’ve ever made.”

-

Sonny says yes. Immediately. No hesitation. It’s a testament to how fantastic he is that when you bring it up over takeout that night, he seems absolutely delighted at the prospect.

Of course, you try to warn him.

“You might not be available the day of,” you point out.

His response is easy as he takes off his jacket, drapes it over the back of your couch. “If you give me the date, I’ll take time off right now. Liv’ll be fine with it, you know that.”

“My parents will be there,” you warn, and while the moment gives him pause, he ends it with a smile.

“Good.”

Good. Good. To meeting the parents? You want to poke him, see if he’s an alien or something, but he’s still smiling and all you really can do is kiss him for it.

“You know, all of my family is a pain in the ass,” you state bluntly, a last ditch effort. He snorts, and you reach to stab him with your plastic fork, the takeout he brought home not yet opened up and dug into. “I’m serious! It’ll be a mess, okay, and if I can spare you that –“

He just chuckles, reaching to pull you into his embrace. You melt into it – by this point his button down is off, leaving just his undershirt. He smells like home, and you can’t help but sink into the feeling. “Sweetheart, that’s family. Trust me, all right? You’ve met my sisters, you’ve met my parents. It’s about time that I return the favor.”

When he kisses your temple, you’re realizing with a twist of your lips that he’s unfortunately pretty damn great.

“You know, you won’t be able to really talk to me until the first dances,” you tell him, just for shits and giggles, and that earns you another kiss, this one on your cheek, your neck, your jaw, behind your ear.

“But I’ll be able to see you.”

So, it’s done. The car is rented, the hotel is booked, and when the weekend of comes around, and the two of you hop into your car and make the three-hour ride up.

Of course, the wedding is about as much of a pain as you expected it to be.

It should be noted that you love being there for your cousin, and she looks absolutely stunning her gown. It’s not the gown, or your own dress (which is plain and deep burgundy, styled perfectly with a matching lip). It’s not the ceremony, which makes you tear up, as her and her wife seal the deal with a kiss that you hoot and holler at. It’s not the food or the drinks or the venue or anything else that came together for Barb’s perfect day.

It’s the family.

Aunt Julia goes just as hard as you expect her to. Uncle Phil’s jokes are crude, but… inevitably get a laugh from one side of the family or the other. Your nieces are chaos incarnate, and half your time as bridesmaid is spent wrangling the dog that was made the ring bearer, your bathrobe getting caught on every doorhandle in the place. By the time the reception comes around, you’re exhausted and close to tipping over, navigating the intricacies of a big family with poise and grace you’re sure God probably gave you just for that day or something.

It’s a mess.

It’s your mess.

And Sonny, that day? Well. Sonny… is Sonny.

Sonny helps you catch the dog the first time it escapes (and the second time, and the third time). Sonny, due to some last-minute stomach bug, ends up helping out as usher, and makes every single family member he escorts to their row and aisle and seat smile. Sonny, at his place at the table where your parents sit, spends the whole night chatting them up, and you and your sister at the table with the bride and groom, can only watch from a distance.

“He’s crushing it,” Jane tells you. David’s sitting there, too, and he’s also enraptured with your boyfriend. The weariness of the day starts to wear off, and now that the pictures are done the drink in front of you is white wine and your belly is full. “Don’t look now, but I think Dad’s writing the invitations for Thanksgiving.”

There’s a pride that fills you, then. It’s been coming the whole day, but in that moment, you feel like you’re about to burst. You’re grinning, and when he glances over to where you are, well.

“You know what? Let him,” you say, and your eyes don’t leave Sonny as he winks and goes back to his story. “He really is crushing it.”

Soon the meal is done. There’s cake, and laughter, and you watch as Barb shoves her piece into Meredith’s face with unbridled glee. At that point you look around for your boyfriend, but he’s nowhere to be found. Neither are your parents for that matter, and you’re sliding out of your heels so you can troll around, eating cake, looking around for them.

Eventually, though, they come back. It’s in the middle of the first dance when you feel the familiar presence behind you, and his hands move to wrap around your waist as you watch the brides sway together, the rest of their lives ahead of them.

“Just in time,” you tease. “I thought I’d have to go solo out there.”

He turns you, so your vision of the brides is now full of him. You haven’t got to linger on it yet, but right here and now, he looks stunning. While the men in the bridal parties have black suits, Sonny’s is a beautiful navy, with a pocket square that matches the color of your dress (you’re almost ninety percent sure it’s from that lawyer he knows, but you don’t bring it up, kind of hoping he’ll keep the full ensemble). “And keep the world from seeing my awesome dance moves? No way.”

You giggle. The wine, the meal, the end of the day approaching. You’re loose, and he’s smiling, which makes you grin. “Saw you dodging the chocolatey fingers of my nieces and baby cousins,” you point out, and his eyes widen for a second before he glances around, peeks over your shoulder.

“Yeah, just, uh, don’t tell ‘em where I am. I think it’s part of their game to see who gets the most fingerprints on me by the end of the night.”

The DJ announces the end of the first dance, welcoming the bridal parties onto the floor. Sonny lights up at this, and offers his hand to you. “Can I have this dance, beautiful?”

Your smile softens, just a tad. “I thought you’d never ask.”

The music is slow, but not glacial, and Sonny starts it off by holding you proper. Soon enough, though, you’re moving into each other, and your head is resting on his shoulder, the slow sway of the brides what you’re mimicking. It’s gentle, and sweet, and for the moment you allow yourself to close your eyes.

Everything else slips away. All that’s left is the music and Sonny against you. Your dress brushes against your feet, still bare and cold against the dance floor, but nothing can bring you out of this ecstasy.

His voice is low against your ear, almost raspy as the song fades into something new, and the DJ announces the rest of the group can join with their significant others. “You know, I had a good time with your parents,” he murmurs, and you laugh lazily against him.

“I noticed. Be careful, I think my mom was thinking of kidnapping you so you can tell her all the Carisi family recipes.”

“Now those are top secret,” he informs you, seriousness in his tone, and when you pull back to look at him there’s mirth, even with his little pout.

“Obviously. I’ll distract, and you’ll hit the road.”

He laughs now, and it’s easy. It’s like breathing, the two of you. “Right. Well. We did talk about other things, while I was ensuring the safety of my family’s legacy.”

That peaks your interest, and you raise a manicured brow. “Like what?”

For a moment, he pauses. He’s caught, looking at you, under the lights, and for a moment you think he’s not going to say anything at all. But then he leans in, presses your foreheads together, and the world stops.

“I told ‘em… I told ‘em I’m yours, in every way possible. I told ‘em how I couldn’t live without you, and I told ‘em how I don’t want to.”

Your breath catches in your throat, and when you blink a couple of tears fall. “Sonny…”

“I told them, how one day, I’m gonna propose, and I’m gonna ask you to marry me. And I told them, how I really, really, hope you say yes.” His voice is definitely raw, now, and your swallow is tight. “You don’t have to say anything right now. Of course not, I’m not proposing now, but. I just… I need you to know how much you mean to me. How much being a part of your family, how much it means to me. And… I hope you want to be a part of mine.”

The slow music ends. The DJ is cheering now, and the crowd is clapping, and soon something more upbeat starts. But you’re stopped, in the middle of the dance floor, and before you can think you’re pulling him into a deep kiss, pressing up into it on your toes.

When you pull back, your mascara is running. But you don’t care. You couldn’t possibly care less. “If you think I’m saying anything but yes, whenever the hell you ask me, Dominick, I –“

He kisses you again. And when the world fades away once more, it’s because the two of you know that your whole lives are ahead of you, too.

#prompt fill #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi #dominick carisi jr #female!reader #law and order: svu #my fic #fluff #tw alcohol #mentions of alcohol

[redloftwingfeathers]

I'd kind of figured it was Demise's curse that got Link and Hylia's avatar stuck in a cycle of misery. But I also tend to think of it like the Avatar series where some of the past Zelda/Hylias are a little...out of touch.

But also, where were Din, Nayru, and Farore in all this nonsense? Aren't they the ones responsible for marking poor Link with the Triforce all the time? They handed the Triforce off to Hylia and just ditched. Your fellow and/or subordinate goddess got cursed to constantly be reborn as a mortal? Meh.

Is the Great Deku Tree the only responsible guardian deity in all of Hyrule or something??

Hi! Spoilers ahead!

Demise's curse definitely plays a role, but this was before the cursed cycle. Hylia still chooses her hero that is worthy of wielding the triforce, just as Link did in the game. He is sent through trials to be deemed worthy of being the holder to use its power against Demise, and to be a holder you must have an unbreakable spirit.

The goddesses Din, Nayru and Farore left the world they created and left their gift in the hands of Hylia to protect it from oncoming evils such as Demise and anyone else who wanted the power to themselves. This means that the goddesses are here as observers, and will make 0 effort for divine intervention. They created the Triforce, it's free game what people do with it. [Gods. Love. Chaos.] When the time came for Demise to rise, Hylia took her people and sent them to the sky with the Triforce and sealed them off with the cloud barrier so nobody could get through.

This is the part where it gets muddy for me because we have no other proof of there being a first hero outside of the Hyrule Historia manga (which is can be argued as canon/non-canon. Yes, Hylia gave her chosen hero a sail cloth, but?? That's it, no other context). The game says Hylia was the one that fought and sealed away Demise, not before creating Fi to guide her later hero (SS Link), and also giving up her goddess status to be reincarnated as the Zelda you meet in game. In this case, Hylia is doing everything in her range to keep the Triforce safe, and is Very smart for coming up with back up plans before taking Demise head-on.

Now the reason why Hylia gave up her immortality is because a god cannot use what they created for the world. The Triforce is fueled by the powers of all three creators (Din, Nayru, Farore), but neither can touch or use them. This also applies to Hylia, who is also a goddess, and is the keeper of the Triforce. She chose to find the only possible loophole to make this battle end in her favor by severing her ties with the gods and using its full power to stop Demise at all cost. Badass. Love it. #girlboss

However in my readings (again, outside of the manga) there was no presence of Hylia's chosen hero in this battle. So my theory here, going out on a limb, is that her hero failed. He could not harness the powers she granted him, so she has to build one herself through slight manipulation in her next life.

Going back to the game: Zelda is Hylia reborn. Cut, Print, Moving On. Hylia had to regain her memories as Zelda with the help of her assistant Impa. Impa knows just about as much as Fi does, waiting all those years for her to return and finish Demise once and for all, knowing the seal wouldn't last. Zelda finally understands what's going on, both as herself and as Hylia incarnate, and to her disgust and regret, she has to keep motivating Link to press on, otherwise the plan will fall apart. Zelda heavily apologizes to Link for having Hylia--Herself (she corrects because she realizes this is her doing, even if she doesn't want to admit it because she cares so DEEPLY for her best friend) for USING him. She was forced to keep quiet on her own accord once everything made sense, she kept Link in the dark because she wasn't sure how far he would go to get her back and help her. And Impa was the force too that helped Zelda gain the strength to use her best friend in their favor. And despite everything, Link is still there for her. And she can't fathom why. But Hylia does, and it's at that point Link is dubbed as her chosen hero.

If we're going by the manga, the first hero, to wield the master sword, he was purposely imprisoned to create his strength and unbreakable spirit ordered by the divine gods themselves (so..the goddesses were in on it??) and was released only when Demise was starting to sink Hylia's battleships . She said she feels awful for what he's been through, but all she could do was just watch until the time came to help aid her. And as the final piece to raise the earth to the sky to create skyloft he uses the master sword as the final key to raise Hylia's people high above before dying on the surface. He was chosen because again, despite all he's been through, he was still devoted to Hylia and all of her people, and that's what made the master sword (Fi) accept him as its master.

In either story you prefer, Hylia is just... Really Something. Her intentions are for the greater good, but her actions to find her hero is absolutely out of pocket as she's built on aiming for last resorts to fulfill destinies. In either story, she is creating a devoted hero through misery, as if it will be rewarding for them in the end. *coughcoughDEMISE CURSEcough* So yes, in a way Demise is also an element to the misery because this process somehow carried over to the other timelines and eras, but it didn't Have to be this way. (especially because if there wasn't a mention of a hero in the game of SS, why even bother??? like, girl did it all herself, she can do it again smh)

Tl;dr, all the zelda gods are canceled and Link needs a fucking break

#hoo boy sorry this is long #ss hd spoilers #replies

[codenamewitcher]

Mistress of Death Part Two || Geralt of Rivia

Title: Holy Water Cannot Help You Now

Pairing: Geralt x assassin!reader / Geralt x half-elf!reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: Smut (18+)

Song: Seven Devils - Florence & the Machine / Worst Behavior - ALMA, Tove Lo

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

— ‡ —

The night that I'd met Geralt and the bard Jaskier was a strange one. I'd refused to let them run me off from camp. Yes, they'd saved my life, but I had still sat up camp there before them, and Geralt had agreed. It was that decision that caused Jaskier's face to turn so red it had almost looked like it was going to start steaming. I'd also learned that the wolf pack I'd killed was what Geralt was hired to hunt and kill, I'd told the witcher that I wasn't going to claim the money, that instead he could.

It was before dawn when I started preparing to leave. Geralt had woken up when I'd started packing, first it was silent between the two of us, him just watching me, until he decided to finally speak.

"You could've easily killed all of those wolves with chaos." I knew that his statement had a hidden question behind it, 'why didn't you'?

"I was itching for a fight." I hooked some of my bags onto Sonja's saddle. Wanting to fight was only half of the truth and the witcher knew it. When I turned around to face him again, he was leaning up against a tree, arms crossed in front of his chest, and an eyebrow raised as if saying 'that's a fucking lie'.

"You have no idea on what it's like living under Ramerd Gamward's thumb." I grabbed the last of my bags, the zhefar and arrows, and hooked them to the saddle. I climbed onto Sonja, ready to leave but I paused before I did and turned to the witcher.

"Thank you for saving me."

Geralt grunted in response, but there was something that seemed to glow in his amber eyes. I couldn't put my finger on it but when I reached the road, I knew some type of bond was formed between the two of us that left me wishing to see the witcher again.

It had been four months since I'd met the duo. I hated were I was currently staying, I hated being this close to Vengerberg.

Even though it got drilled into my head at a young age by Ramerd Gamward — who ironically was an elf himself — that neither elves nor humans would want me, I'd pick the elves over humans any day. I understood elves distrust and distaste for humans. It was a human that killed my mother. It was humans that slaughtered hundreds and hundreds of elves.

Even though it was Guleta, it was still too close to Vengerberg, it made my skin crawl and body kick into high alert mode. While I normally did this, I made sure there was no removing my cloak or its hood while I was here, but unlike normal I made sure no one could even see my face. I made sure that I was nothing but a shadow because if one of these humans found out I had elf blood in me, they'd want my head. My identity wasn't the only thing the cloak was covering, it was also hiding the elven bow and arrows, eleven sword, and multiple blades that were strapped to my body.

I found an inn in the outskirts of Guleta, it was shitty but necessary because no one would question whether or not they should let me stay. I tied Sonja to a hitching rail, already smelling the stale ale from inside, I grabbed a bag of ducat coins, and walked in. The smell hit me in the face when I walked in, but I held my composer. The inn was filled with drunken men and some wenches were spotted in some of those men's laps, the floor was sticky with spilled ale, I fought to not make a face in disgust. I walked up to the bar and asked for an innkeeper and it wasn't long after a round man with a face redder than his hair came up to me - he drank too much.

"What do you want?" He placed a large hand on the bar, leaning into it.

"I need a room for two nights and no one bothering me." I toss two golden ducats onto the counter; it was more than enough but I was in no mood to haggle with the man. The coins were gone the moment they hit the counter and a key in its place.

"Upstairs, second to the last room on the right." I grabbed the key and turned to leave when I heard a certain bard singing. I turned my head to his direction and find Jaskier drunkenly singing one of his stories about the white haired Witcher he followed around.

I turned back to the doors and walk out to see if the stable across the street would keep Sonja. I untie her and lead her over to the stables, stable boy sat outside of it playing cards by himself.

"How can I help you?" The boy asked looking up from his game when I stopped in front of him. The boy was nothing but skin and bones.

"Is there a stall available?"

"Yes, a silver ducat for a night."

"I need one for two nights," I hand him two golden coins. "Keep the rest for yourself."

His eyes widen in shock, "Thank- Thank you. Right this way." He got up and lead me to the stalls and stopped at an empty one towards the middle. "Is this one good?"

"Yes."

"I'll leave you to it then." He walked back outside, leaving me alone. I lead Sonja into the stable and started taking my bag, her saddle, and lead off. I pick up my bag once I got everything off her and dug into the bag for an apple. Once I find it, I hold it out for her, and she took it from my hand. Before she leaned down to eat, I stopped her and held her head up, so she'd look me into the eye.

"Behave."

She responded by giving me a huff of air, I shook my head and patted hers. I slung my bag onto my shoulder and left, making sure the gate was latched when I shut it. I looked up into the stall across from Sonja's to find the witcher's mare occupying it. Great.

I walk back into the inn and this time I spotted a head of white hair sitting in a dark, back corner while the bard sang one of his tones nearby. I quickly went up the stairs and found my room, I unlocked the door, and wasn't surprised to find nothing but a poor excuse for a bed that sat in the middle of the room and a little desk was off to the side.

I sat my bag on the desk and untied my cloak. I threw it on the desk and unstrapped my bow and arrows, I sat both on the side of the bed, I laid down on the floor, held my breath, and scooted underneath it. I made quick on strapping the bow towards the edge of the head of the frame, arrows right beside the bow, and got out and up once I felt like they weren't going to fall. I frowned as I dust my back off. I grabbed my cloak and slipped it on, sinking back into the shadows yet again. I picked up my keys, slipped them into my pants pocket, and left the room, locking the door as I walked out.

I wasn't thinking much as I walked and before I knew it, I was downstairs and headed towards the witcher. I didn't know why I was making my way through the inn towards him, but something was telling — pulling — me to go to him, then before I knew it, I was in front of his table.

"I don't want any company." He didn't look up from his mug of ale.

"I'd thought you'd have more of a finer taste in ale, not this stale shit." I leaned up against a support beam that'd connected itself to the bench opposite of Geralt. A smirk formed on my lips when his head shot up at my remark. I knew he could see my face hidden in the shadows of the hood with his catlike eyesight.

"Y/N." He breathed my name out with ease, a smirk played on his lips too at the sight of me. The bond that I had felt four months was back and pulling hard towards the witcher.

"May I?" I tilt my head down to the bench. One of his hands that were wrapped around his mug gestured for me to sit. I slide onto the bench with feline grace and placed both of my arms on the table, clasp my gloved fingers together, and leaned into them. We stared at each other like this for a bit both of us still keeping the smirk on our lips, his eyes almost seemed like they were sparkling as he stared me down.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, finally breaking the spell that we seemed to be in.

"What do you think?" I lean back against the back of the bench, hands still clasped on top of the table, enjoying whatever game it was that we were playing. He hummed in response. "What about you?"

"What do you think?" He shot my response to his same question back at me; this was definitely a game. I let out a low chuckle, a genuine smile gracing my lips and from the looks of it, his too. "How long?"

"A couple of days." I look down as I unclasp my hands and flatten them out on the table, I could almost feel the sexual tension between us on my skin. I fluttered my eyes a bit and looked up to meet his own again. "Why, did you miss me?"

He hummed again. "Just curious."

"Is that so?" I drummed my fingers against the table once. "Wh-"

"Who's this?" Jaskier interrupted me and stood at the edge of the table with his hands on his hips. I tilt my head back just the slightest so Jaskier could see my face, I gave the bard a shit-eating grin.

"Hello Jaskier." I purred out the words to fuck with the bard.

"Oh no, no, no, no. I don't know what's going on here, but no." He shook his finger in my face, I made a biting motion, he quickly pulled his hand back and held it to his chest, I laughed at his reaction. He turned to Geralt, "You must have you lost your damn mind? She's the devil incarnate."

There was a mischievous glint in Geralt's eyes, he just stared at the bard.

"You can't be serious?" The bard gasped.

"Well," I cut in and stood up, standing close to Jaskier, he took a step away. "It was nice seeing you two, but I've got to go." I fix my hood so the average human couldn't see nothing but shadow. "Goodnight Jaskier. Geralt." I flicker my eyes to the witcher, letting him see the playful look in my eyes.

I stepped away from the two and started for the stairs, I swayed my hips as I walked towards my room even though they were covered by the cloak, it swayed with my hips. I felt the witcher's eyes burning into my back, so I turn my head enough for the hood to move with it as if I was looking back at him.

I had gotten to my door and unlocked it when I felt the witcher's presence at the end of the hall. I turned my head to face him to find him swiftly moving down the hall, his eyes pinpointed on me. Once he reached me, I let him push me up against the door, his bright amber eyes were dark with lust, we were so close to each other our breaths were mingling together.

"What are you going to do to me?" I asked, my words dripped with lust. I laid my hands on top of his chest and brought my face closer to his, our lips inches apart, I flickered my eyes to his lips and back to his eyes.

He didn't say anything but placed his hand to the back of my neck, pulling me closer. So close that my lips were brushing against his. I finally kiss him, not being able to handle the proximity that our lips were at. He let out a low growl, deepened the kiss, and pushed me into the door, his knee pushing its way in between my legs, pinning me to the door.

I blindly reached for the doorknob and once I found it, I twisted it open. We both stumbled into the room but fought to keep our lips connected, he kicked the door closed once we got far enough in. I finally broke the kiss for air but he continued kissing me but down my neck as I gasped down air, one hand tugging at the tie that held my cloak in place and the other was gripping the ends of my hair and pulling my neck back so he could have better access to my neck. After I got enough air in my lungs and my cloak pooled at our feet, I turned us around and pushed him onto the bed. My eyes didn't leave Geralt's as I took my jacket and weapons belt off and let them fall to the floor. I moved to straddle his lap and he wasted no time to connect our lips once again. In the midst of our kiss, I started unbuttoning his shirt. When I got his shirt off, my hands started to roam around his chest and arms, his did the same to me but also pushing my shirt up in the process. I broke the kiss to let him take my shirt off. He's hands pushed down on my hips grinding me down on him, I bit my lip to hold in the moan.

"Stop biting your lip." His voice smokey as his thumb dragged my lip out from underneath my teeth. I held eye contact with him as I took his thumb into my mouth and sucked. I released his thumb after I was satisfied when I felt him get harder underneath me.

I rolled my hips down on him as I leaned in, brushing my lips on the shell of his ear, "Fuck me."

As if a switch flipped in him, a growl rumbled through his body and then he flipped me over, he nipped at my collar bone and undid the wrap around my breast. They met air but it did not take long for him to take a nipple into his mouth, he sucked on it a little and then moved to the other. The blast of cold air on it in contrast to his warm mouth caused me to moan, I could feel a smirk forming on his lips against my skin.

He moved away from my beast and grazed his teeth against my neck. "I'm going to ruin you."

His naturally low voice got darker with lust, another wave of pleasure pooled down at my heat. I gripped his hair, one hand pulling at the tie that held his hair back and the other pulling his head back so I could look him in the eyes. "Do it then."

"With pleasure." His smile was filled with sin, he moved down my body, his hair slipped through my fingers. His nose and lips danced across the skin of my abdomen. His fingers danced as he undid the laces on my pants, he started tugging at the waist and I lifted my hips up so he could pull them off. A loud thunk was heard when my pants, undergarments, and boots hit the floor due to the multiple knives there were strapped to or hidden within the clothes. He raised an eyebrow as if he was saying 'really', I smiled in return and sat up. I looked up at him as my fingers fumbled with the laces on his own pants and placed a kiss on his abdomen while still holding eye contact. When I got the laces untied, he pushed me back into the bed, and was already on top of me before I could sit back up to watch him strip. He grunted, fire in his eyes as he said, "I'm ruining you, not the other way around."

His lips brushed my legs with feather like softness. My back arched off the bed with his feather like touches and he took that as his opportunity to slide an arm underneath my back and he placed his other on my hips, holding me down. He bit the inside of my thigh, so close to my heat that I let out a quiet whimper, his glowing amber eyes flickered up to me and held my gaze as he licked a stripe up between my folds, a moan slipped from my lips. "You're so wet." He tutted and pressed a finger at my entrance as his tongue circled around my clit, my fingers gripped the sheets, it had been way too fucking long since I felt this kind of pleasure. Without a warning, he pushed his finger in me, so painfully slow, I bucked my hips up to try to get him to go deeper, but the arm that was behind my back was quick to move at pushing my hips back down. His tongue pressed down on my clit and he added a second figure, stretching me out while his fingers fucked me. I couldn't help the whine that I let out as I pushed my head into the pillows and squeezed my eyes shut, I needed to be fucked now. 

"Geralt," I panted as his fingers sped up and I gripped his hair. "I need you now."

He pulled away from my heat, crawling his way up my body oh so slowly. He continued his torture by brushing his lips across my own. "Is that so?"

"Yes," The word was barely a whisper, but by the way his amber eyes flared, I knew he heard it. In a blink of an eye, his lips connected with my own. I could taste myself on his tongue and by the time I was fully detracted with his lips, he slowly sunk himself into me, causing me to gasp for air and him to groan. I sink my nails into his shoulders looking for a release due to the bliss. Once he was balls deep, he pulled out and slammed back into me again.

"Fuck, you're so tight." He grunted, burying his head in the crook of my neck and bit my skin as his hips fell into a steady pace and my legs wrapped around his waist. The pain from his bites and pleasure from his dick filling me and pounding into me was so overwhelming it was hard to think; all I could seem to do as he attacked my seizing body was moan and claw at his back. I could feel him as he pushed against the knot that was slowly forming in my stomach, every stroke brought me closer and closer to the edge.

"Ger... Geralt," His named was broken up by moans, I clung to his body.

"I know, wait." He grumbled into my skin, his forehead pressed into my shoulder, I tangled a hand into his hair. His pounding sped up and a hand slipped down between our bodies, one of his fingers pressed down on the swollen bud of my clit and made hard circles, I clenched around him as another wave of pleasure crashed down upon me. "Now."

The demand was all it took to send me over the edge, I screamed out in pleasure. He watched as I fell apart underneath him, my walls clenched and unclenched around him causing him to growl and bring him to his own release. My walls milked the witcher as ropes of his hot come shot deep inside me.

He fell on top of me after he finished and groaned in my ear, "Fuck." 

Our chest pushed against each other as we came down from our highs, I closed my eyes and pushed my head down into the pillows, basking in the afterglow. After we both caught our breath, Geralt rolled over, pulling out of me as he did. I exhaled at the feeling of being empty of him and my body feeling heavy from the ecstasy I had just experienced.

A moment and then Geralt turned to face me, propping his head up on his arm so he could look down at me, he brushed a piece of hair away from my face. His chest was shining with sweat and I knew I wasn't any better, I was still taking deep breaths as I looked into his golden eyes which sparked with mischief. 

A smirk ghosted his lips, "You know, not all of us are spoiled assassins that get the luxury of drinking expensive ale."

"What?" I laughed. He grabbed my hand, his thumb messaging my palm, a smirk played on his lips.

"My taste in ale."

"Ah," I laughed yet again, my heart felt like it was blooming with joy, something I hadn't felt in years. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face and while it felt strange, I didn't want it to leave. "You should feel honored."

He raised an eyebrow, now smiling. "Oh really, why's that?"

"Because I haven't smiled and laughed like this in a hundred years."

A chuckle rumbled through his chest; his hand now cupped my face. We laid like this in silence for a bit, just starring at each other, enjoying the rare moment of happiness we shared. It was then that I decided I had to protect this happiness and despite wanting to stay in this sunshine like feeling forever, I knew I had to change the mood between us in order to keep this same ray of light I found protected.

"Whatever it is you're doing here; I'd get out of town in two days." I say in the silence, hating that I took away the light and airy feeling around us.

He grunted and sat up and started moving to the edge of the bed, his back to me. I closed my eyes and took a breath trying to calm the empty feeling spreading back into my heart.

"I'm serious." I spoke so softly that Geralt wouldn't have heard the words if it wasn't for his enhanced hearing. "My target is going to cause the city to go into high alert and they'd think you to be the murderer." His body whipped around, his eyes burning into mine, his eyes squinting into a glare.

"Who?" It was more of a command than a question. I move to get out of bed, but his hand clamped down on my wrist.

"I can't t-"

"Who?" He cut me off, his voice darker with the demand.

"The Duke of Eysenlaan." I whispered low enough that only Geralt would hear, I didn't need any wondering ears hearing who it was. 

He clenched his jaw, "Why?"

"I don't know." I looked away from him and towards the ceiling trying to blink away the tears. I hated not only the tears and the way my voice cracked at those words but also because Gamward shut me out on this one. He'd always given me a reason as to why I was killing someone, it gave me a peace of mind knowing that it was evil I was killing and not someone good, he'd known this. Not knowing why I was killing the Duke for tore at my insides, for the first time not trusting Ramerd’s intentions on this kill.

Geralt's hold on my wrist loosed and disappeared altogether, the silence killed me. I was terrified to look into his eyes. I felt the bed shift, but I didn't dare to look towards him, not wanting to see him leave. I let out a gasp as he started to pull my body towards him and wrapped his arms around me, my eyes widen in shock, this was the very last thing I'd expected him to do.

"What did he tell you would happen if you didn't follow his orders?" I felt his chest rumble along with his voice against my skin, I turned away from him. 

"You don't want to know." 

"Tell me anyways." I took a breath and told him everything, the amount of torture and pain that Ramerd had promised if I didn't do as he said, tears slipped down my cheeks. Geralt's arm tighten around me when my voice cracked from telling him the horrifying details. I could feel the anger rolling off him once I finished telling him.

After my confession, my body and mind were tired. And I was tired. So tired of this life. But for some odd reason, Geralt's arms around me brought a comfort to me that I didn't know I needed until now. 

— ‡ —

When Geralt had first seen the assassin that night, he couldn't explain the pull his heart felt towards her, almost as if something had bound the two together, the bond hadn't stopped pulling at his heart until he had pulled her up against her door; his head pounded with thoughts of fucking her, as if he was under a spell. And now, all Geralt could think about as the assassin slept in his arms was four months ago when she'd uttered the words, 'you have no idea on what it's like living under Ramerd Gamward's thumb.' 

She was right, he had no idea. He knew he had no idea when she'd said those words, but the reality of those words didn't hit him until she'd confessed the promise of torture her master gave her if she didn't complete his request. 

'Her master.' Those words burned him with anger. It made him want to squeeze the life out of the man that had not only taken the life from others, but the life from the girl that lay in his arms.

The witcher knew when her voice broke while telling him she didn’t know why Gamward wanted her to kill the Duke, this normally didn’t happen to her, and that it tore at her not knowing the reason she was about to kill someone.

So once Geralt finally feel asleep, a smile found itself on his face as he dreamed about taking Ramerd Gamward's life and freeing Y/N from the bastard.

— ‡ —

Masterlist

There will be a part three! Idk when because I have to start preparing for a conference that’s in two weeks, but there is a third part in the works.

Geralt Tag: @alwayshave-faith​

Tags: @pippin248​ @american-duchess​ @agentdedf1sh​ @didi0666 @ayamenimthiriel​ @a-dorky-book-keeper​ @boiblunder​ @stretchkingblog97​

If I missed anyone, please let me know. Also if you want to be added, let me know!

Also I’ve only written smut once and that was YEARS ago, so I apologize if this was complete shit.

#geralt #geralt x reader #geralt of rivia #geralt imagine #geralt of rivia x reader #geralt smut #geralt fanfic #the witcher #the witcher x reader #the witcher imagine #the witcher smut #geralt x assassin!reader #geralt x halfelf!reader #geralt z rivii #henry cavill #henry cavill x reader

[trashboatprince]

Found on ao3 as well

I have a massive love for Tentoo and I couldn’t resist writing up something for him to get me back into writing fanfics, it’s been months!

Based completely off a headcanon and the fact that Tentoo apparently was quick to making himself a sonic screwdriver.

Summery: He’s barely been in Pete’s World for a week and Rose wasn’t at all surprised that the Doctor got right down to work on making himself tools.

However, her mom is not going to be happy about how he made his signature tool.

On with the fic!

--

With a Will and a Way

One-shot

--

The Doctor, as Rose noted, was as impatient as the original Time Lord she knew.

Just another bit of evidence for her to realize that, yes, this was still the same man, just with a bit less Time Lord and a bit more human in him.

When her, the Doctor, and her mother arrived back to the Tyler estate after being picked up from Norway, the Doctor had dumped everything he had shoved into his suit pockets. From experience, Rose knew that they were like the TARDIS, bigger on the inside, and could hold a whole lot of junk.

All over her bed, he had tossed out everything that had previously been in the pockets from the last time the original Doctor wore the blue suit AND everything the new Doctor had grabbed before being left in this universe with his now-girlfriend.

Two bags of jelly babies, five yo-yos (three of which were tangled or broken), at least eight writing utensils of different colors, two coins from a planet in the future, junk upon junk, shockingly his leather jacket from his Ninth incarnation (he had grabbed it when he went to get dressed after Donna demanded he get dressed cause he knew that he wasn’t going to keep the big coat), and his own psychic paper that actually worked.

There was a lot of other bits and bobs that he had, along with a lot of strange alien crystals and devices that were tiny, and the TARDIS coral, which he lovingly set on a pillow to keep it safe. He even had snatched up a crystal that he told her would be very helpful in making the coral grow faster that he really hoped his other self wouldn’t miss.

‘And if he did, he’d just have to go find a TARDIS junkyard and steal from one of those, wouldn’t be the first time!’ The Doctor had said when Rose asked.

But of everything the Doctor was known to keep in his pockets, there was one thing missing.

A screwdriver, specifically a sonic one.

In the chaos of everything, he had completely forgotten to grab one. The TARDIS could take a bit to make a new one, especially if she wanted to be creative for her current Doctor, and he had often forgotten where he would put his old ones.

So, with this fact on his mind, the Doctor had decided to make it his goal to make himself one as soon as possible!

And that’s where Rose found him, just a few days since they got home, in Pete’s garage, moving about the workbench with some tool in his gloved hand. He didn’t seem to notice Rose standing in the doorway, watching him as he moved this way and that, goggles set over his eyes, hair a wild mess from sweat as he happily hummed some song to himself.

He paused when he picked up one of the strange crystals he had from his pocket and looked over. “Hey, Rose!” He greeted with a grin.

“Hey yourself.” She smiled in return, approaching him. “What in the world are you doin’? Does Dad know you’re using his stuff?”

“Oh yes, Pete is very aware. I practically had to beg him for all these tools!” He gestured to all the strange things he had in the garage that Rose just realized were not here last week. “He said it was his way of saying thanks for bringing you and Jackie home safely.”

Rose just nodded, crossing her arms. “That’s nice of him. So, do you need all of this for your sonic screwdriver? Can you make one from Earth technology?”

“Of course I can, Rose! I’ve made more complicated things from just basic human materials than a sonic screwdriver! I even used a normal screwdriver once to take apart a number of televisions to remove alien spyware back in 2020 when I was in my eighth incarnation, this is a walk in the park!”

She just raised an eyebrow as he rambled, smiling a little. Yep, there’s that gob, it was like talking to her second Doctor all over again. Which, technically, this is still her second Doctor, it was still just a bit weird cause he was him, just him with a bit of Donna in him. Speaking of that, she liked that because of Donna, he had a weird knowledge of pop culture now so it was really funny to see him chatting at dinner with Jackie about some actress or television show and actually being invested in it.

It made for a wild dinner last night, Rose and Pete were so lost while Tony didn’t even bother paying any attention to those two chatting it up like they’ve been friends for years.

That made Rose rather happy, the Doctor seemed to be doing well with her family. Pete didn’t seem too put off by him, Jackie was a bit nicer but would still get on him, though that was to be expected, and Tony practically followed him everywhere like a puppy cause he liked the half-alien being part of the family.

The Doctor seemed to still be talking as he looked at the crystals, going on about something else he had created using an old 80s phone and two rubber bands before a crystal was suddenly in her face. “Think this one would be a good choice?”

Rose blinked, going cross eyed as she looked at it. “Good choice?”

“For color. I considered green, but I don’t know on that one just yet, doesn’t feel… me, yet, and orange would be interesting, but I don’t know. Red is good too, but I don’t want that one, but blue is a classic, and I’ve used it twice in a row, think I should again?”

Brown eyes looked at the stone, it was glowing a faint blue, nearly the same shade as the previous glow of his sonics. “I think blue is perfect for you. But what is that?”

“A power core of sorts, took them from the TARDIS, have a number of them I’ve collected over the years and I took a few for myself. You never know when you’ll need them.” He set it down on the work bench before moving the goggles up off his eyes, smiling at her. “It won’t look much like a pen or screwdriver, but I’d like to think that it’ll be uniquely mine! And if it works out, maybe I can make you up one! I’ve got lots of lovely colors for you to pick from!”

“Hmmm, maybe, in due time. I’ll wait until you get that TARDIS up and runnin’ first, Doctor.” She smiled; tongue pressed to her teeth.

She hoped it would be soon, the TARDIS was currently in a fish tank she went out and bought for it, growing under specific conditions that the Doctor had set up for it from quick notes that Doctor Donna and the original Doctor had wrote down for him. And the little power core he had stole was inside of it, feeding the coral.

He suspects it might take about two or three years for it to get to a good size before they can use it, which will help it more.

Leaning up, she kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll leave you to your little project, okay? And don’t forget to clean up after yourself! No need to start makin’ your messes so soon!” She laughed as she moved towards the door.

The Doctor snorted, adjusting the goggles back in place. “No promises! And that’s rich, coming from a certain companion of mine who always left her room a mess!” He laughed when she stuck her tongue at him before she closed the door behind herself.

He smiled as he grabbed at the small container full of the metal he had planning on smelting for his screwdriver. If all goes well, he’ll be able to replace it. Really should have asked first, but it was the perfect material and he couldn’t wait!

--

“Has he been in there all day?” Jackie asked as she worked in the kitchen with Rose, trying to get dinner finished up.

“He came out for lunch for a bit, but yeah, all day.” Rose replied as she stirred the sauce on the stove. “Said it might take a while.””

There was a loud door slamming open, followed by loud foot steps before a blur of blue and brown came sliding into the kitchen, slamming into the island in the middle of the room. Rose winced at the wheeze that came from her boyfriend when his stomach hit it. “You… alright there?” She asked and he nodded, coughing into his elbow.

“What’s got you runnin’ in here like that?” Jackie exclaimed, already tired of his nonsense and he hadn’t even spoken a word yet. “Your arse on fire or somethin’?!”

With a huge, toothy grin on his face, the Doctor threw his hand up at the two Tylers, showing what was clenched in his fist.

It was… something interesting, that’s for sure.

It was a strange, metal device, long, shaped sort of like a pen or something of the sort, with a glowing blue crystal sticking out of the end. When he opened his fist, the device laying in the palm of his hand, Rose could see more of the crystal peeking from holes in the metal casing around it. “I did it!” The Doctor said when his voice finally returned to him.

“That the screwdriver?” Rose blinked, taking it from him to look it over. “It’s certainly different from your other ones, that’s for sure.”

“Had to make it on what I had on hand.” The Doctor explained, looking rather proud though. “Rather creative on my part, if I do say so myself! Haven’t smelted in a while, so it’s a bit unusual in pattern, but I like how it’s different! I bet even the TARDIS would be proud that I can make one myself! She’d probably tell me to make my own from now on, but still.”

“Looks like some toy to me,” Jackie commented as she walked by, going to get the plates and silverware out for dinner, “but what do I know of your weird alien tech.”

Rose rolled her eyes, looking over the screwdriver again, pressing on a little spot and making it activate. Sounded just like the original ones, even glowed the same blue. “Wow, you did great, Doctor, but what did you use for the casing?”

The Doctor suddenly looked like he wanted to run. “Well, you see, for that I had to…”

“HEY!” Came a shout from the other side of the kitchen. “Where’s the spoons!?”

“I’ll pay you back, I promise!”

END

--

Forgive me, I’m totally new to writing for this fandom, but I tried.

Anyway, I figured that if he were to make a screwdriver, I’d love for it to be something looking a lot like Thirteen’s own. I mean, a fancy, Ten-looking screwdriver does fit him too, but I love the idea of him making one like how Thirteen made hers.

Also, I am a fan of the headcanon I’ve seen some people have that Tentoo gained Donna’s knowledge of pop culture. And I made a reference to Stranded with the screwdriver and the television sets, the Doctor sorta had to use what he had on hand cause he couldn’t use his screwdriver.

Thanks for reading, and I am always open to drabble and one-shot prompts! So if you have one, send it my way! :D

#doctor who #tentoo #rose tyler #tentoo x rose #jackie tyler #john's drabbles

[fairytalesofavalon]

for myself

Summary: A master thief from the Kingdom of Virtue breaks into a nobleman's house, set on stealing a priceless necklace. Pondering just how it all led to this point in his life and how it could have been different.

Warnings: talk of executions and being executed, being branded, generalized anxiety, fear, PDSD, and trauma.

Short Story: 3676 words

For Myself

The ornate black box on the center of the table made my fingers itch. I had planned on searching the rest of the room first. Plenty of drawers and surfaces to sift through and large windows that were a quick escape route. But I couldn’t help myself, that box was just too tempting. I snapped the lid open, revealing the large necklace lying in the center. Pure silver, a large onyx mounted at the center, surrounded by amethysts, it was intoxicating, almost hypnotising. An heirloom of House Everfey. I picked it up, losing myself in the gleam of the gems.

“There you go, Lamorak. Another for your personal collection.” I whispered to the empty room. “And one less for Mordred.”

That man deserved it anyway. A familiar joy sprung to life as I twisted my gloved hands around the silver. My face, what I could see of it behind the hood and scarf, reflected in the large black gem. I could only imagine how he would react to the oldest piece in his collection disappearing. Lord Everfey would tear this city apart to find this. I can’t wait to see the chaos. The anticipation grew to the point where I was nearly jumping with joy.

That feeling dissipated the moment I heard voices outside the room. Instantly, that joy turned to fear. The only hiding space I would fit inside was a cabinet, an overly obvious hiding spot. There had to be something else.

The knob seemed to screech as it turned. No choice left, I shut the box, slipping inside the cabinet. The door was barely shut behind me before I heard the hinges to the room scream.

I held my breath, watching through the slits in the cabinet door as two sets of footsteps echoed around the room. One strolled into view, a tall man, wearing an overly gaudy and bright red coat. He took a seat at the table in the center, watching the ornate box. His lips curled into a snarl as he aggressively tapped the table. It was understandable. Redwoolfe had his personal guard look like complete fools just a month ago. For a split second, I thought about what would happen if he found me in here. But I stopped myself. It wouldn’t be good, that’s all I needed to know.

“I want him alive, Lawrence,” a voice out of my view said. “I understand your frustration with Virtue’s Shadow, but he’s more valuable than a corpse. If we-”

The other stood up suddenly, jarring the table. “What, have him executed. Everything’s gone too far. Crime’s been on the rise for years now since he appeared.” Lawrence sighed, rubbing his temple. “At this point, I don’t think that thing is even human. He’s like a living shadow, chaos incarnate. That thing won’t stop until he’s dead. He’ll die anyway. Why risk him escaping?”

The other strolled over to my hiding spot, the distance causing him to look like a lump of black. Lord Mordred Everfey, I tensed up at the thought of his name alone. For a very brief moment, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Maybe it was the mention of me needing to die, or Mordred so close to me, but my head started spiraling. They knew I was in here. That had to be it, Mordred was just dragging this out to mess with my head. I nearly sighed with relief when he just leaned against the door. 

Mordred was nearly as worked up as I was, anxiously drumming his fingers against the wooden frame of the cabinet. Each tap nearly made me jump, but I held still by some miracle. There was a very, very, long pause before he spoke again.

“He’s human, Lawrence. That means he can be reasoned with, bribed, threatened.”

Lawrence just laughed. “Bribed, did you really just say that. Virtue’s Shadow has stolen enough money to buy an entire province and he still hasn’t stopped-”

“It was an example,” Mordred forced out through gritted teeth. “What I mean is he’s not some wraith swooping in and stealing whatever he wants. He’s human.” As if to prove a point, he picked up the box. “Just a few moments ago, we both saw what was in here.” He slid the box over to Lawrence. “That is the most valuable piece in my collection. If he’s targeting anything tonight, it would be this. Virtue’s Shadow couldn’t have just manifested in this room then disappeared.”

I leaned closer as Lawrence undid the latch, lid tilted back to reveal an empty velvet interior. For a brief, joy filled moment, nothing happened. Mordred and Lawrence just stared down at the empty box in shock. Then they looked at each other. Another wave of silence passed as paranoia started to set back in. If they checked in here, I was dead. I was barely breathing, waiting for them to realize what was going on. For them to search this room, find me.

“H-how did he…” Mordred mumbled.

“Screw how he did it, he’s probably on his way out right now. Have the entire manor locked down, no one leaves here until he is found.” Lawrence stormed out of the door after that. Mordred followed soon after.

Only after I heard the door shut did I sigh with relief and slip out of my hiding place. There was a spring in my step as I made my way to the window. Partly out of relief and partly out of fear. I long overstayed my welcome. It was foolish really. The moment I stepped inside, I should have grabbed the box and ran. But I’d trade anything to see that expression on their faces again. And now that it’s safe, I smiled. They really are fools. The necklace seemed to grow heavier in my pocket. I couldn’t help myself but reach inside, tracing my finger across the surface of the smooth stones. After a few moments though, I remembered that I really needed to be going.

The window was firmly locked. Not that I expected it to be open or anything. I carefully maneuvered the small metal piece into the lock, holding it in place while my other pick did the real work. Whenever it was safe, I usually timed myself. Once, I got it down to-

“I’m assuming you’re Virtue’s Shadow.” 

I couldn’t help but freeze, cursing in my head. In a split second my head raced to boiling anger at myself, to anger at him, then fear, before I stuffed all of that deep inside and turned around. A man stood in the doorway, tall, black hair, pale skin and silver eyes, Mordred. That fear came back really quick, mind reeling back nine years. My entire body tensed up at the memory, fire, smoke, that reek of copper and salt, that slick feeling on my hands... 

I blinked, repressing the near overwhelming sensation. He didn’t know, I was just shocked to be caught, he needed to think that. I gave that man my best fake smile, somehow keeping my voice steady through the lingering fear. “Lord Everfey, so nice to finally meet you. I did see you back at Lord Redwoolfe’s ball, but I doubt you saw me.” As I spoke, I scrambled for some kind of escape plan. I had contingencies, but none that anticipated Mordred catching me.

“And I assume you heard every word of our conversation.”

That was it, that was my escape. “Of course I did.” I kept my voice steady. “Your friend really is right, Mordred. I’m not able to be reasoned with. Maybe I’m not even human.” My gaze trailed over to the lock for a moment. Just one more pin and I’d have the window open. A few more seconds, I could stall him for that long. “Maybe I am just the will of chaos created-”

There was a very loud and sudden bang from behind me. All the tension in my body released at once. I jumped, teeth grinding, lock snapping back in place from my sudden movement. By the time I actually did turn around, all I could focus on was his smile.

“Yeah, you’re human, boy.”

I glanced down at the lock. He’d be on top of me by the time I managed to get it open. That made me freak out. I took in a shaky breath, exhaling in sputtered bursts. My mind was scrambling, heart pounding in my ears. This wasn’t going to be good, but I needed to get out right now. It was either this window or the doorway he was standing in. 

I grabbed that same, heavy box on the table. “Try telling everyone else that.”

He didn’t even have time to react before I smashed the box against the window, glass flying everywhere. Before he could process what happened, I jumped out. It was a second floor window, I wouldn’t die. Though for a brief moment, rain and wind rushed around me as I fell before I finally hit the ground.

I stumbled as I landed, breaking out into a run right as my feet touched the ground. It was the middle of the night, rain and fog only making it harder to see. Half the gardens were a slippery mess of mud and dew covered grass. A mess that I only made worse by running through it.

My footsteps squelched as I tore through the gardens. Weaving around all the barely visible fenced off flowers and bushes. The sound of my own footsteps in the mud set me off. I hated it. But if I tried to be subtle, it would slow me down. It was only a matter of time before they all knew I was here. Being quick and loud was better than me being caught. 

Mordred screaming after me from the window only made me shutter worse. In an instant, hazy lights swarmed around me, shining through the rain. Great, I wasn’t even over the manor’s wall and they were already after me. 

Cursing myself for the… What was I up to now, the third time tonight. I darted for the fence, trying to pull myself over the giant wall of wrought iron. The edges were slick, cutting into my gloves as I desperately tried to hold on. My feet slipped along the edge, the mud on the bottom of my boots not making it any easier. All the while, those lights were getting closer. I could make out the silver armor, the rain hammering down on them. Their confused shouting ringing above all of that. None of it helped the panic slowly building inside of me. I tried to stay calm, to plan my next move, but I couldn’t. My legs flailed frantically against the smooth surface, desperately clawing for some foothold. 

Eventually, my foot finally caught hold of a horizontal support. I pushed off of it, scrambling over the rest in one motion. Water splashed around me as I landed. It kicked up again as I ran down the flooded cobblestone that made up the streets. It wasn’t long before I heard footsteps coming after me, echoing through the puddles and pouring rain.

I took a sharp turn off the main road, dodging through alleyways and side streets. Every single time I lost them, some other patrol would spot me and it would start all over again. 

My lungs burned, exhaustion clawing at me. I needed to lose them, right now. One dark alleyway in particular caught my attention as it hurled towards me. Without thinking, I ran down it, nearly smacking face first into the large wall at the end. A dead end, but they were closing in. I couldn’t go back.

A few soggy crates littered the opening. I ducked behind one, pressing my back against the rotting side. Right as they approached, I drew my dagger. Not once had I ever used it in a fight, but if it came down to that, at least I’d have a weapon. It was a terrifying thought, but so was what they would do to me if they did bring me in.

My breathing came out in rapid, ragged, breaths. If it hadn’t been for the sound of pouring rain, they would have caught me by that alone. For at least ten agonizing minutes, I heard guards pass by the alley a few times. Every single time, I squeezed my eyes shut, mentally preparing myself for the possibility that they would find me. The footsteps always passed, my head still shrieking that they might come back, find me, drag me off to… I bit my tongue, forcefully drawing myself out of the thought. 

Only after I didn’t hear anything for two minutes did I relax. Then I smiled and laughed and laughed. Tears streamed down my face. It really is terrifying, running, hiding, knowing one wrong move on a job could land me in line for the chopping block.

But once that fear was gone, all I could think about was how much I enjoyed every moment of it.

The evening after, I took a walk. Nothing special, I just wanted to watch the aftermath of the previous night. Three patrols already passed by me, another heading right for me. I hadn’t even been on the streets for five minutes. A bit boring I guess, but better than nothing. Most of the shops had been closed for at least an hour. It was impressive how terrified they could be. It’s just how it is now. One year ago, half the population would still be walking in the street. Well, this was still strange, there was still an hour left until sunset. There should be some people out at least.

Then I heard the bells ring in the center of the square. Right, they’d close early for this. One ring, a few people came out of their homes. Two, they all ran down the streets, right to the city’s center square. Three, I turned around, walking in the other direction, trying not to count. That didn’t stop me. Four, five, six, then silence, I just sighed with relief. It was less than normal. This was common and I was used to it, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. Punishments, they were public. People said it’s to discourage criminals, and it does work to a degree, I have to admit.

Another sigh of relief escaped me as I turned down a less crowded sidestreet leading towards the edge of the city. The grey stones became more worn down, moss growing between the cracks. The people down this part of the city kept their heads down, shuffled back into their homes. Some didn’t though, most hurried off to the square. Even the people here bought into all the lies Virtue fed people. 

They weren’t really lies, I reminded myself. Those idiots just have to draw a line, they just draw it in the wrong place. Everyone on the chopping block did do something wrong. But they don’t care who, why.

I was caught up in my own head, I hadn’t even noticed one of them following me. A boy, not a year younger than me, beat up cloak draped over his small frame. It made me smile in a way, a bit of nostalgia. Really made me think about how terrible I was when I first entered this line of work. 

He approached a bit quicker than I would have expected. But maybe I should have expected that. This boy wasn’t good after all. Then my thoughts snapped onto the bells. That one mistake last night could have landed me there. One mistake and it would have been my head rolling off the chopping block. One mistake nine years ago, when I was a scared child who just wanted something to eat that night. Publicly shamed, brand scorched into my skin, hands cut off. I really didn’t want to think about it and I didn’t want to think about what would happen to this boy if he had targeted anyone else.

He passed by me, bumping into me slightly. Had I not known, I wouldn’t have even felt his hand slip into my pocket. Subtle, maybe this wouldn’t be a waste of my time. I grabbed his wrist right as he pulled his hand out, twisting it until he stopped. 

That caused him to freeze, gaze darting from my face to the sack of coins he just tried to lift off of me. His eyes widened, instead of running or fighting, he just stood there. For a moment, I just stared at him. Holes and tears dotted his black cloak, dirt splotched on his skin, but that giant brand scorched across his neck was what made me pause. A hand, one single coin in its palm, petty theft if I remember correctly.

“Is everything alright?” A voice asked behind us. A pair of guards stood behind us, one of them realizing what was going on right away. His expression went somber as he reached for the boy in black. “I swear, you criminals never learn-”

Before I could stop myself, I was standing in front of the boy. “It’s a misunderstanding, sir.” That sir felt like acid in my mouth, but I dealt with it. “He wasn’t stealing.”

“Are… Are you sure?” He glanced at the boy, then back to me. Only then did he lean close and whisper in my ear. “Did he threaten you?”

“No, it’s… it’s only a misunderstanding. Sorry to bother you.”

Neither of them really looked like they bought the lie, but what else could they do. Both of them just shrugged and walked away. Only after they were long out of sight did I grab the boy’s arm and drag him down an alley. He was still trembling, wide eyed, clutching my pouch of stolen coins.

I held my hand out. “If you would, I think you owe me anyway.”

The boy handed me the sack of coins, staring down at his tattered black boots. “Thank you.”

My gaze drifted back to the giant mark on his neck. If he had gotten caught again, even for something like this, it would have been his life instead of something like that. His other arm was buried in his sleeve as well. I did my best not to stare. That’s how it was in this kingdom, there was right and there was wrong. But that left a lot of us behind. The why never mattered, just punishment without mercy. 

I bit my lip, for a moment just wanting to have a conversation with someone who might understand. Only one thing came to mind though. “How did you get that brand?”

He rubbed his hand across the side of his neck. “I was just hungry, I-I just wanted something to eat. Then-”

I held my hands up. “No, I shouldn’t have asked.” Being dragged into the square, screaming in pain as they pressed a scorching hot brand into his neck. I rubbed my neck, remembering the dozens of times that might have been me. It wasn’t the kind of thing I did, but I pressed the sack of coins into his hands. “Keep it, I have plenty.”

He tore the pouch open. If the boy had any sense, that could feed him for a month. “I-I can’t accept this.”

“Just take it. Don’t spend it all in one place either.”

The boy smiled, still shaking. “You probably stole it all in one place though.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine, I did. But people like us have to be careful with spending. And be careful our targets don’t notice us following them.”

His gaze dropped down to his boots. After that, I didn’t know what else to say. Talking isn’t exactly a skill I’m great in. “Just… Be careful.” What else could I really say. I turned and walked away, leaving the boy in the alley.

He whispered one last thing as I left.. “May Virtue’s Shadow bless you.”

I nearly rolled my eyes. That comment always felt strange. A mixture of guilt, fear, joy, so many people expected so much out of me. A wraith who steals everything he touches, motivated by nothing but greed. A shadow, one that all the others left behind by this kingdom look up to. Both explanations were foolish. I was human and I was waging a one man war against an entire kingdom. Well, I guess that made me a fool.

“Thank you.” That was all I said as I walked away.

They wanted you to be perfect. One mistake and they branded you a criminal. That same brand burned into my head. The same one my mother got.

“She made a choice, the right choice,” I reminded myself. “It wasn’t a mistake.” And that child she left behind turning to theft just to feed himself wasn’t a mistake either. Her little Lamorak. She’d probably be disappointed to see me now. A thief, stealing because he loved it. 

“What else can I do,” I whispered to myself. “They put her through things no one deserved.” My mind snapped back years and years ago. Her face whenever someone threw a brick through our window. When she had to clean up a decapitated pig’s head off our porch. This kingdom ostracized her for one decision. And what did she do when I stood up for her. She’d just smile, tell me she deserved it. It wasn’t fair, it never was. She wouldn’t want me to do this.

I bit my tongue. “It’s not for her. It’s for myself.” For everything they put her through, they made me watch. That wasn’t even enough for them. When bandits raided our village, burned it to the ground, they made her stay… He made her stay… I blinked, suppressing the memory.

Why wouldn’t I enjoy watching them scramble, seeing me as some wraith, as Virtue’s Shadow. After all they put me through, why wouldn’t I want to fight for myself.

#fiction #my writing #writers on tumblr #writing #fantasy #long post #anxiety #ptsd

[cousinmarcustalkswrestling]

Best NXT Matches of 2020 - The Top 5

5

DIY vs Moustache Mountain - Worlds Collide

Man that Worlds Collide card was great. This was a simple tag team dream match between two awesome tag teams that have never really crossed paths. Crazy talented Tyler Bate has some silky smooth wrestling sequences with Gargano and Ciampa that makes me clamor for singles matches with both of them. Ciampa and Seven have a funny posedown where Seven bows out before he officially hold his L. Its a fatphobic moment, but I ain’t gon trip. It’s a playful babyface tag match until Ciampa remembers that he’s a psychopath and he decks Seven with a forearm. Repentant babyface Gargano joins Ciampa and superkicks Bate and from there this match takes off with high octane action and some creative sequences.

Ciampa and Gargano tear into Bate and Seven gets the hot tag in a fun reversal of how they usually do things. Gargano hits the Final Beat DDT at the same time that Ciampa hits the Widows Bell DDT. Bate goes for a flying back elbow on Ciampa, but gets V Triggered out of the sky. There’s a great sequence where Gargano tilt-a-whirls into Gargano Escape on Bate, but Bate counters to the Airplane Spin, but Gargano rides him back down into it. Ciampa locks in a double armbar on Seven and we got a flashback to DIY vs Revival at Toronto. Bate and Seven escaped the stereo submissions and we get a fun double airplane spin. Bate accidentally rebound clotheslines Seven and they have a sweet moment where Seven protects Bate from Meeting in the Middle. They coldcock DIY though and land a sweet Burning Hammer/Flying Knee combo on Ciampa. In the end, DIY kills Seven with Meeting in the Middle and end this dream match.

4

Finn Balor vs Kyle O’Reilly - NXT Title - Takeover 31

Kyle O’Reilly being in the main event of a Takeover was a pretty far out idea, but one torn shoulder and a seemingly unplanned 30 day turnaround between Takeovers has made it so. Balor beat Adam Cole for the vacant title on September 8 and O’Reilly won a Gauntlet Eliminator for the title shot two weeks later. NXT’s always succinct video packages edged Kyle babyface and boiled him down to a dude who just really loves wrestling. And wrestling is exactly what we get. Not just wrestling, but some of the best pure wrestling of the year.  This is a great display of matwork, pacing, and psychology. This reminds me of Shingo vs Ibushi from the G1, where they could easily go full throttle all action, but instead they’re way more patient and we still get a great match from it.

Kyle has an awesome performance here as his selling is super sympathetic, while his work attacking Finn’s arms and legs is vicious. Finn, in my favorite Balor incarnation as The Prince, appropriately responds with his own nasty offense. In particular, one spinning kick looks like it ruptures Kyle’s spleen. Kyle goes for a cross armbreaker at one point and there’s a great sequence as we get a close up view of Balor’s fingers unlocking one by one until Kyle locks the armbreaker all the way in. Kyle legit breaks Finn’s jaw with a running knee in the corner and shortly after that, Finn ends it with the Coup De Grace. The ending was a leeeeetle too sudden and out of nowhere for understandable reasons. It definitely feels like they had a 4-5 more minutes to really build to their ending. No matter what, its an excellent wrestling match that basically sealed Finn as NXT’s male wrestler of the year and elevated Kyle to another level.

3

The Broserweights vs The Undisputed Era - Tag Team Titles - Takeover Portland

You know that point in long-ish tag matches where there’s a hot tag and everything breaks down and everything is just super entertaining chaos. This match is like that from the start and its awesome. There’s a relentless amount of double teams, nearfalls, nearfall saves, and momentum shifts. I had the very sneaky suspicion that one of the Broserweights were gonna turn on each other. The match kinda supported my theory because there’s moments where Dunne accidentally hits Riddle & moments where Riddle accidentally hits Dunne. Throughout it all, the Broserweights win this tornado of a match and take the tag titles. This was by far the best tag team match I saw this year. Unfortunately, the pandemic forcing Dunne to England and Riddle’s sexual assault allegations and call down to Raw broke up this team and completely derailed NXT’s tag team division for the entire year.

2

Candice Lerae, Toni Storm, Dakota Kai, & Raquel Gonzalez vs Shotzi Blackheart, Io Shirai, Rhea Ripley, & Ember Moon - War Games Match - Takeover War Games

Once the Charlotte experiment was over, the women of NXT were featured more and more on TV and emerged in the fall as the best division in the world that carried the show while the fellas were affected by injuries and weird direction and stuff. Shotzi and Candice lead their stacked teams to this WarGames match that felt like a violent feather in the cap of a tremendous year for the ladies.

Ember & Dakota start things off and have a great five minute segment showing off their chemistry before Shotzi comes in. The babyfaces having the advantage is an odd decision, but they work pretty simply and Dakota is crafty enough to not make it a weird dynamic where she turns herself face. Big Momma Raquel is next and things get ugly for the faces. Rhea is next and has a great staredown and brawl with Raquel. Toni Storm is next and she chooses violence bringing in numerous kendo sticks and takes off the turnbuckle pads. The action is brutal, creative, and constant and very rarely feels phony or choreographed. There’s a required Tower of Doom spot and a lot of weapon shots. Io Shirai is next and she wants to introduce more weapons, but Raquel keeps her out with a few hard big boots. Io dropkicks a chair into her face, but Toni locks the door to keep Io out. Candice Lerae is finally in and she has Indi Hartwell take out Io so the heels keep their handicap advantage, but the match can’t officially start without Io. In one of the funniest spots of the year, Io climbs to the top of the cage puts a garbage can over her head and leaps onto everybody.

With the match officially started, we get a bunch of super entertaining action. Rhea and Io have some awesome tag team moves, Ember hits Dakota with a crazy Eclipse two chairs, Shotzi sentons Candice off a ladder onto chairs. Its an awesome blend of skillful wrestling, creative spots, and brutality. In the end, Raquel catches Io going for a super rana and powerbombs her through a ladder to secure the win for Team Candice. An awesome spectacle of lady excellence.

1

Io Shirai vs Rhea Ripley - Women’s Title - November 18

Io Shirai had an incredible year as Women’s champion and saved the title from the terribly booked Charlotte reign, by being one of the most consistent performers in the world and having great matches with the every name worth a damn in NXT. Rhea’s momentum from early this year was severely damaged by her disappearance after her loss to Charlotte Flair, but she slowly recovered, had some damn good matches and before you know it, she had all her swag back. It makes sense for this to be a big match up, but the unique thing about it is that Io Shirai took the initiative to call out Ripley. That instantly gave their match a very different dynamic that they play into and we got one of the best matches of the entire year.

Io’s brings the aggressive mentality of her challenge to the match and goes right after Rhea. She gets the best of her with her athleticism until Rhea yanks her into an electric chair drop on the apron. Even when she’s being overpowered though, she never alters her approach and she never sticks and moves. Staying in the pocket with Rhea is a dangerous proposition, but Io is just that crazy. Io slips out of a superplex attempt and delivers a sick German suplex from the turnbuckle. As great of a powerhouse that Rhea is, her bumping and selling is brilliant and she really puts over Io’s damage. Rhea gets extra angry after booting the hell out of Io, but Io snatches her left arm and goes crazy trying to disable Rhea and limit her power.

Rhea is still strong lady and gets a superplex and her reverse cloverleaf while still selling the arm, but when she goes for the Riptide, Io brilliantly counters to a cross armbreaker. Rhea escapes and decapitates Io with a clothesline, but Io counters another Riptide attempt to a spike DDT. In the awesome final sequence, Io catches Rhea on the apron with a sunset flip powerbomb THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!! Rhea is a dead woman, but she manages to drag her corpse in the ring, but as soon as she crawls in to beat the count, Io crushes her with a moonsault to the back and ends this classic match. Great unexpected psychology, great selling, great finish,. The Ladies of NXT just got better and better as the year went on and this is probably their crown jewel example.

#2020 #wrestling #nxt #io shirai #rhea ripley #shotzi blackheart #candice lerae #toni storm #raquel gonzalez #ember moon #dakota kai #finn balor #kyle oreilly #undisputed era #matt riddle #pete dunne #diy #johnny gargano #tommaso ciampa #moustache mountain #tyler bate #trent seven

[queen-scribbles]

My Lucky Day

For @pillarspromptsweekly fill 97. My Roll for It elements: Edér, modern AU, and meet-cute bc I wouldn’t be me if I passed up the chance to write an Ederity meet-cute. :D

--

Normally the two o’clock hour was the most boring part of Charity’s shift. Most people were either still at work or just starting to commute home, Not many chose that time slot to pursue pet adoption(or even just looking). Normally at this point she’d be folding scrap paper footballs and seeing how far she could flick them down the counter, or finding an excuse to play with or love on one of the animals the shelter housed.

But not today. Today someone hadn’t properly latched one of the kennels and a certain hyperactive yellow lab had gleefully seized the opportunity to escape. Thus, Charity’s two o’clock hour so far had been spent chasing down chaos incarnate, trying to minimize the mess he made and not having much luck. Of course he fishtailed around a corner, his tail wagging so ferociously it knocked supplies off the shelf. Of course Xoti had forgotten to lock the dog door(again), and he bolted into the yard--straight for the mud puddle in the back corner. Of course she missed trying to grab him on the way back in and wound up chasing a trail of mud all through the shelter. (Thank Eothas the door between the shelter and clinic was too heavy for a year old lab to push open on his own.) She finally cornered the dog in a dead end hallway and bribed him with treats until he was close enough to collar.

“Bad dog,” she scolded, heart not fully in it despite the work ahead of her cleaning up. “You made quite the mess.”

He looked up at her, gave a whining bark, and planted muddy paws against her thigh to put him in better range for head pets.

“Sunny, down,” Charity said, gentle but firm. That was something they were trying to train out of him before he was adopted. “C’mon, you need a bath now.”

She’d swear Sunny’s ears pricked up at the word bath. This dog loved water beyond even his breed’s usual affinity for it. She could almost believe he’d gotten muddy for the express purpose of getting a bath. Charity was less thrilled at how soaked she was about to wind up, but as the one who caught the dog(and the one with no plans after work, which meant it was okay if she went home smelling like wet fur), the duty would fall to her anyway. She might as well get it over with.

It proved every bit the ordeal she was anticipating, but she did get Sunny clean. Still very much the curious puppy--even though they’d walked this hallway a dozen times and she was pretty sure there were no new smells--he pulled every which way as they walked back toward the kennels.

“We really gotta train you, or you’re gonna scare people off,” Chariy muttered, letting go of the leash with one hand to brush damp straggles of hair back toward the sad remains of her ponytail.

Of course Sunny picked that moment to hear something ‘interesting’ and veer sharply toward the door between shelter and clinic. Sharply enough to yank the leash out of her hand.

Not again! she groused to herself as she lunged after him. “Sunny! Sunny, sit!”

Sunny did not sit. Because the door opened from the clinic side and a new person walked in, and what friendly, energetic dog worth his whiskers could resist saying hello to a new friend?

And so roughly fifty pounds of still-damp yellow lab pushed off the floor and slammed into their visitor in the same moment Charity skidded to a mortified halt. Even if he looked well-built enough to take it, this was so not the impression they wanted to give people.

-o-

Edér would have been lying if he said he expected his day to include being tackled by a friendly dog. He’d also be lying to say he minded, though it did catch him off-guard.

“I’m so sorry!” a voice gasped from above and to his right--probably the woman he’d briefly glimpsed before being tackled. 

“S’alright,” Edér managed around the enthusiastic tongue bath he was receiving. He brought one hand up to scratch the side of the dog’s face, which earned him a reprieve as the lab leaned into the attention with a pleased groan. “Always nice to make a new friend.”

He looked up just in time to catch her relieved smile. “Must be my lucky day.” Her ears went redder than her hair. “’Cause you’re clearly an animal lover, I mean, not for any other...” She cleared her throat, one hand tugging the end of her frazzled ponytail. “I’m gonna stop talkin’ now.”

“Actually, if you work here, I was lookin’ for some help,” Edér said, starting the reluctant process of scooting out from under the dog.

“Oh, sure,” the redhead nodded as she bent to grab the free end of the leash and started tugging the dog off him. “I’m Charity, by the way. And this fella’s Sunny, both in name and nature.”

“Fittin’,” he chuckled as he got to his feet. He held out his hand to shake. “Edér.”

Charity shook his hand, grip firmer than he expected. “And what can I help you with, Edér?”

“Pickin’ somethin’ up for a friend; antibiotics for her liz- uh, bearded dragon.” He rolled his eyes sheepishly. “She don’t like it when I call ‘im a lizard.”

Charity laughed. “Lotta people with beardies feel that way.” Her brow furrowed.  “Wasn’t there someone at the clinic desk?”

Edér shook his head. “Naw. There s’pposed t’ be?”

“Yeah,” she said with a sigh. “Same person who was s’pposed to lock all the kennels and the dog door out to the yard. I’m tryin’ to give her some time, ‘cause she’s new, but if she doesn’t get a lot less flighty real quick...” She shook her head and tugged the leash. “That’s not important, though. Let’s get you taken care of, then I’ll get Sunny squared away.”

“I can wait if you wanna do that first,” he offered, slipping his hands in his pockets. He wasn’t in any particular hurry.

“No, it’s okay,” Charity said quickly. “If you’re just pickin’ something up it shouldn’t take long.” Both of them looked down as Sunny bumped his nose against Edér’s knee. “‘Sides, he likes you, if I take him away now, he’ll pout the rest of the day an’ that’s no fun.”

“Alright, then, if you don’t mind...” Edér shrugged, which made her smile. It was a good smile. He pushed open the swinging door back to the clinic. “After you.”

-o-

Charity bit back the temptation to make some corny comment about him being a gentleman and simply nodded her thanks as she headed through the doorway. She could feel a fresh wave of blush rising to color her ears--and probably the back of her neck--even so. Maybe he wouldn’t notice. Maybe if he did she could pass off her embarrassment as due to Sunny’s behavior, not the number of times she’d successfully stuck her foot in her mouth in front of one of the more attractive men she’d met in her life. If the ‘lucky day’ comment wasn’t bad enough, the speed with which she’d insisted on helping Edér before she re-kenneled Sunny had done no favors. 

Just as he’d said, there was no sign of Xoti behind the clinic counter, even though her shift went til four. She hadn’t even left a note this time.

Charity pushed aside the embarrassment--and grumbling thoughts toward her coworker--and flashed Edér another smile as she stepped around the counter.  “So, what’re you pickin’ up?” She closed the waist-high door and slipped the leash around the handle so she had both hands free and Sunny was still semi-corralled.

“Antibiotics,” he reminded her, leaning against the counter with a crooked smile of his own.

She wanted to smack herself; he’d already told her that. “Right, right. Name?”

He cocked his head. “Would it be under the pet or the owner?”

“Owner.”

“That does make sense. Illani. Tavi Illani.”

The name rang a bell. “Oh, yeah. Dragon’s Quaro, right?” Charity asked as she started thumbing through the filled prescriptions. “She had him in a couple days ago and Doc Drake had to back order the meds.” Illani, there you are. She tugged out the small, crinkly bag and set it on the counter. “Here we go. And Dr. Drake is sorry for the delay and hopes Quaro feels better soon.” 

Edér raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Technically she didn’t tell me that, but” --Charity shrugged-- “ain’t hard math to figure out she would.” She played with the patient information tag stapled to the prescription to give her hands something to do. Which worked for all of five seconds before she happened to read the address. “Wait, wait, wait. Tavi lives in Yenwood?! Don’t they have any vets down there?”

Edér laughed. “None who--to quote her--’know a solitary fuckin’ thing’ about bearded dragons.” He leaned closer and whispered almost conspiratorially “I think she’s just tryin’ to justify drivin’ an hour each way to bring him to the same vet she’s used since he was this big.” He held up his thumb and index finger three or four inches apart. 

Charity giggled. “No shame in that; lotsa people try to stick with the same vet, for the sense of familiarity. ‘Specially if their pet likes that vet.” She braced her elbow against the counter and rested her chin in her hand. “”What about you? Assumin’ you also live in Yenwood, this is some favor. You two must be real good friends.”

Subtle, Char, a little voice in her head said dryly. Just ask the man if he’s single and get it over with.

“She’s one of my best,” he confirmed with another crooked smile. Sweet Eothas, it wasn’t fair. “But I was comin’ this way for work, so it ain’t that much much of an inconvenience. Speakin’ of...” He glanced at the wall clock. “I need to get goin’. Ain’t in a rush, exactly, but probably shouldn’t dawdle.”

She grinned. “Or the boss man’ll chew ya out?” 

“Nah, that ain’t a risk,” Edér shook his head, still smiling. “‘Cause you’re lookin’ at him. Still wanna make a good impression an’ keep customers happy, so...” He picked up the prescription and tapped the bag against the counter. “You need anything from me?”

Your phone number. Charity just barely swallowed the wards before they tumbled out her mouth. “Uh, no, it looks like, um, Tavi prepaid for it when she had Quaro in. So we’re good.”

Sunny pawed her leg and whined.

Charity patted the dog’s head to settle him. “And let me apologize again for this goober. He’s just over-eager to meet new people.”

Edér leaned across the counter to scratch Sunny’s ears. “No harm done. Like I said, always nice to make a new friend.” He met her gaze and winked. “Or two.”

Was she blushing? She had to be blushing. “Always happy to meet a fellow animal lover.”

He laughed. “Thanks for the help, Charity.”

“You are very welcome, Edér,” she laughed back. “Have a good day.”

He nodded as he straightened. “You, too.”

Charity watched him go, tried to read the writing on the door of his truck(purely general curiosity, definitely not looking for a phone number), but he’d parked too far away. She looked down at Sunny, who met her gaze and panted happily.  “Alright, your turn. Let’s get you back where you belong.”

Xoti picked that moment to get back from... wherever she’d been. At least she had the decency to wince when she saw Charity doing her job. “Sorry, Char.”

“What was it this time?” Charity asked, fixing her ponytail before she wrapped the leash around her hand to keep Sunny close.

“Door on the Ladies got stuck again,” Xoti said, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. “Doc really needs t’ fix that.”

“Leave a note on her desk, I’m sure she’ll bump it up the list,” Charity said. She tugged Sunny’s leash as she swung open the half-door to head back toward the shelter side. “Hell, if it’s real bad, maybe she’ll call someone soon as she gets back.”

“Kay.” Xoti hesitated, bit her lip. “There weren’t any trouble, was there? ‘Cause I really didn’t expect that to take more’n a minute or I’da let you know.”

Charity smiled to herself as she glanced toward the paring lot--empty now, of course. “Nope. No trouble at all.”

The clock read 3:05 as she led Sunny back to his kennel. She tried to convince herself the smile she wasn’t trying all that hard to fight was relief for the non-boring two o’clock hour for once. Given that she couldn’t stop picturing blond hair and blue eyes that crinkled at the corners when he smiled, it didn’t really work.

Her lucky day, indeed.

#queens fic #pillars prompts weekly #charity #eder teylecg #ederity #pillars of eternity #otp: brighter than the sun #eothasian idiots

[ohmyohpioneer]

queliot fic: that leaving wasn’t easing

Summary: He thinks one thing they should tell you about getting better - about making your brain work in some semblance of The Right Way - is that things start to matter.

(Or, Quentin is handling Eliot's absence the best he can, which, frankly, isn't as well as he'd hoped.)

a/n: Damn it’s been a hot minute since I’ve written anything (looking at you @sweetestinthegale and @wedlakeserenities  - you she-devils). But...how could I not? Fic title from 715 CR∑∑KS. I posted it over on AO3, too, so choose your own adventure.

queliot fic: that leaving wasn’t easing

He thinks one thing they should tell you about getting better - about making your brain work in some semblance of The Right Way - is that things start to matter.

Technically, Quentin supposes, that’s the entire mental wellness pitch: Make Things Matter. Make food taste again. Make taking a shower worthwhile. Make people bright and real and kind again.

It’s just that happiness never mattered to him - magic did.

And somewhere between then and forty incarnations of himself, it’s gotten flipped on its head and magic is a fucking cancer and happiness is the only mystical force that is important and imaginary and unattainable.

When happiness didn’t matter, life didn’t matter the way it does now, no one mattered the way they do now. And Eliot’s absence is as conspicuous as ever and he matters.

---

Julia is there with her long fingers and her cigarettes.

He sees them, how they could have been. Smoking and making rough-edged jokes at his father’s funeral, would have actually been at the funeral. Heads bowed at the cemetery, knees knocking as they sit crowded on the threadbare plaid sofa in his dad’s living room, eating lukewarm casserole after it’s all over, when people stay too long in your house and bestow useless benedictions like sorry and you’re in our prayers .

He wonders if that would be better than this. Wonders who those two people are and if they would know joy - or grief - in the same way this Julia, this Quentin do. Wonders if Julia would even be here if it weren’t for the tumult of magical chaos they can’t or won’t - half the time he’s genuinely not sure which it is - be extricated from.

Recently he’s taken to falling into this thought exercise - maybe it’s a defense mechanism, fucked if he knows: Take one person out of the scene, watch it bend, watch the world crack and splinter, watch yourself change. Adjust. What’s the scene now? Do you say the same words? Do you ache the same ways?

Maybe the more he practices the better he’ll get at absence.

Anyway, it’s an easier game to play than putting Eliot into every scene - into places that he almost always belongs, but isn’t.

He’d be shit at his dad’s funeral. What the fuck does Eliot know about fathers anyway?

This is one of those times Quentin doesn’t let Teddy linger long in his conscious - self-preservation being the running theory on that one. But he’d try. For Quentin he’d try, and Eliot trying is infinity better than anyone else acting in effortless grace.

Maybe he’d hold his hand - they’d probably be fucking freezing like they always are, were - pull out a flask and grouse about how tacky and pointless it all was. Garish and excessive deification of death, his mouth would say around a sharp swallow of bourbon.

But that’s the truth of funerals. You die and then there is a funeral. One, the other. People exist in the world and then they don’t. People stop being and then they have funerals.

People stop being and never have funerals. It doesn’t mean they’re not dead.

Eliot hasn’t had a funeral and he’s dead and Quentin is tired.

---

The book finds him late on a particularly trying afternoon spent with The Monster.

It’s got a plastic dust cover, a Dewey Decimal Number (129) on its spine, and when it crinkles open there’s a pocket with a slip inside that says it was last taken out from Warner Library Serving Tarrytown, New York in 1945. Almost certainly stolen.

Despite the distinctly 70s book jacket, it’s very old. Quentin would venture to say too old to be shelved with, well, most of modern literature, and when he pages to the center, the spell is right there.

“What’s that?” The Monster is standing over his shoulder.

“Oh, uh,” he shuts the book and lies, “Just some old poetry - dulce et decorum est bullshit.”

“Boring.”

He doesn’t put the book back on Marina’s shelf, instead tucks it neatly under his pillow.

---

Wine had been his first choice because, well, when it comes down to it, it takes a lot less work than magic - and also why the fuck not.

But he soon finds that wine poisons him in ways that burn from the inside, that crowd anguish and sorrow into the back of his throat, behind his eyes, grief sublimating from where he’s obscured it behind one foot forward, one breath in, one breath out.

Would all this have gone differently if Eliot had said yes to him, chosen him?

Or a much more toxic thought - the one he has far more often: would all this have gone differently if he hadn’t said a word to Eliot? Kept it tucked deep somewhere instead of breaking whatever fragile balance they had lived in since- since the moment they met?

It’s his fault - the burden he’d placed on Eliot, the shame and regret that suffocate him at the worst of times, throb at the better. You break, you break, you break .

---

It is disconcertingly easy to locate the pyxis.

Having met gods, and finding them to be, on average, capricious and narcissistic assholes, he doesn’t place a whole lot of credence in the idea of Fate. But the hand he is slowly being dealt is feeling more and more like it is one that is meant to be played. He wouldn’t bet on the universe being kind, but maybe this one time it’s being just.

It had been Julia’s idea for this particular field trip with The Monster. Explore the antiquities of The Met for clues as to what the gods have taken, while the Scooby Gang tracks down any answers that might point to killing the unkillable.

It feels suspiciously like window shopping - The Monster stopping, crossing Eliot’s - Eliot’s - elegant arms, tilting its head and frowning before ultimately deciding, no, this just wasn’t the piece of Mycenaean earthenware he was looking for today.

Quentin eyes the small jar on display amongst the other Fifth Century Greek art. Small, clay sides curving out gently. Figures silhouetted on white. Moirai , according to the plaque.

“Do you like that one?” Fucking Quentin swore he was going to put a bell around The Monster’s neck.

“Huh?”

The Monster shifts the - Jesus Christ - canopic jar cradled in the bend of his elbow, and points to the pyxis, “That jar? You were looking at it for a very long time.”

“You can’t,” Quentin feels his hands hover in a frenzy over the goddamn ancient artifact that is at present being held like a bottle of eight dollar wine, “You can’t just take that. That’s- that doesn’t belong to you.”

“No. It belonged to Ahmose the First. He is dead. He does not need it now,” The Monster agrees cheerfully. “Look! It has a bird on it.”

He uses his thumb to tilt back the falcon-headed lid in a jaunty motion.

Quentin is pretty certain he is having a heart attack. When did he even get to the Egyptian wing?

“I will get you the jar, Quentin,” he assures him, and Quentin would argue but there is only so much fight left in him at this juncture, especially when The Monster’s voice is soft and he hears his name from Eliot’s - Eliot’s - lips. “Julia has told me about the custom of gift-giving. You have brought me on this ‘field trip,’ I want to express my gratitude.”

Before he can attempt a protest - even a perfunctory one - The Monster has smashed the glass of the display and alarms are blaring.

“Though,” The Monster reaches easily into the case of priceless pottery, “I do not understand why you want this one.”

He points to the figure of a woman in divine vestments, “Atropos is a bitch.”

---

Quentin’s intimately familiar with the overwhelming press of not belonging and it’s fucking ironic - or something, he was never clear on when things were ironic and when they just sucked - he doesn’t know how to claw through the collapsing of losing the place you belong.

Eliot was his belonging and he knew it, he knew it, because in those dreary, somnambulant weeks following Eliot’s rejection, when Quentin wasn’t his choice, he’d had dreams about the White Lady. Sitting in the brush on the forest floor, he’d wait in darkness and aim and hit her right at her heart, and a wish, no, his wish, to forget . Again and again, nights on end, she would tell him: sadness will find you , and his world would begin to cave - Eliot seeping out of the lonely places he never could fill, washing from the warm places that they’d built on mosaic tiles, Eliot leaving .

A cold sweat would jolt him to waking and he’d press his palms to his eyes to keep Eliot in, to not forget.

When you destroy the place you belong, you’re nowhere.

---

“Penny Lane” has been playing on loop for the past hour - The Monster seems to have figured out how to operate Marina’s turntable - and Quentin regretfully commits himself to a life that will never again include Magical Mystery Tour as he lies awake in bed.

Whatever hesitations have been holding him back the past few days have eroded and what’s left is raw and rough and ready. He just needs a minute to breathe, just five fucking minutes of quiet .

The book and pyxis are there - faithfully or threateningly remains to be seen - by his side. Nighttime is the best, he’d decided slouched over Lucky Charms one morning, with all in the apartment sleeping and the magical reserves at their fullest - his aching at its most acute.

One breath in, one breath out.

What should have shocked him, but came to him as a massive, crushing relief, was how easy it was. Sequences of simple movements that grew more fluid as he built a rhythm - just five minutes, just five minutes, just five minutes.

Rending his shade from his body, hurt like a motherfucker, as it turned out.

Agonizing seconds stretched to goddamn eons as he pulled each of the gossamer strings that tethered all of him together, the pulsing light dimmer than he thought it should be, like it’d been tarnished or worn too thin. And then -

Quiet.

Methodically, he removes the lid, places his shade gently in the stolen jar, and fits the top back on, setting it carefully on his nightstand beside an old pair of his glasses and half a stick of used lip balm.

Being okay was a mental and emotional state he knew so intrinsically he would never achieve, that it never occurred to him to think about being above emotion. Lying back down, Quentin folds his hands across his stomach and doesn’t forget but doesn’t feel as he watches a solitary moth land on the ceiling above him.

---

 He sees it happen, the moment she recognizes the luminescent jar for what it is, when all parts assemble themselves and create the skeleton of story she wishes she weren’t reading.

Julia.

Any signs that she had been about to tumble through his door into his - previously - locked room had slipped by him as he’d traced a route through his mind, where he’d been dispassionately sorting through catalogs of thoughts and emotions he knew he shouldn’t and couldn’t be trusted with.

“ Quentin .”

He works on analyzing her wide eyes, the crease at the space between them, comparing it against the extensive library of Julia faces he has, and lands shakily on: heartbroken.

Tears are surely not a good thing, and she has those, too, brightening her eyes and making them glassy as she stumbles over a discarded jacket and slumps to the mattress. The lid on the clay jar rattles under her shakey command, or lack of. Long fingers, Julia, her slender fingers brush back the hair on his face, the strands caught on his eyelashes, then reaches into the vessel and gently - even by his standards - takes the weakly glowing shade in her cupped palm.

“Do you think,” he asks as she readies herself, “We could find Revolver ?”

Startled. He reads startled in the lines digging into her forehead. “What?”

“It’s a better album than Magical Mystery Tour. ”

No warning is provided as she pushes his shade into his chest and he feels like he is breaking - breakee instead of breaker - ripping apart all over again, aftershocks off grief and anger echoing to his fingers, his ears, spaces in him he didn’t know could experience anguish.

“Fuck,” he hates himself, everything so deeply. Hates the shame he felt at the relief of nothing , hates feeling anything again. Hates the exploding outward at losing Eliot in an infinite loop. Hates breathing, hates being, hates absence, hates funerals, hates belonging, belonging to someone who doesn’t belong to him, someone who is gone.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Julia has him held tight before he’s even aware he’s a whole - broken, shattered - person again.

He’s so tired and he cries.

---

A dull throb pounds a pattern at the inside of his skull and he vaguely realizes he was asleep and that he hadn’t dreamt at all.

Cross-legged on the foot of the bed, Julia is flipping through the spell book, frown stretching her exhausted features further. Shit, he can’t do anything right. She looks up, that Goddess determination she had long before she was a deity.

“Fuck, Quentin,” so defeated, “What the hell were you thinking?”

There are words that fit, probably, that would make it through his dry mouth, but he can’t recall any and he’d have to stack so many against one another and let it tower over them and his bones ache too much for that.

“I really don’t want to argue about this,” she continues because what is she supposed to do with her endlessly, constantly, continually fucked up best friend. Par for the fucking course, Coldwater. “But do you have any idea how fucking stupid that was?”

Self-destructive doesn’t mean he’s not self-aware, “I know, I know. I get it, Julia. I fucking get it.” Of course he knows. Of course, of course .

He’s not who he was - who fucking ever is after the melee of wading through the catastrophe of existing - he’s not that Quentin with no power, no voice, no will to be fucking brave. Because that’s all anything worthwhile is - life, magic, happiness, belonging - the outermost limits of bravery. He knows.

“Look,” he could sleep another four timelines, “Jules. I’m sorry. I had-I had to do something .”

She runs a finger outline of the women on the pyxis, head bent, bowed, he shakes the feeling of funeral . “Yeah,” is all she says.

He wets his lips, cracked. “It was quiet.”

“Um, it was quiet for just a, just a little bit and,” an invisible hand holds his throat, making the words that need to bubble up and out hard to come, “and I just, I miss him?” it’s not a question, “And I love him.”

The plainness of it startles him. “And I couldn’t take looking at his face anymore. It was just a minute of quiet, Jules,” desperate for her to understand, to sympathize, fuck, to make it better. “That’s it.”

Rising to her knees, she surrounds him, soft eyes, soft palms at his jaw, “We need you here, Quentin. We need your heart - fully intact. We’ll figure this out. I promise.”

Promises that can’t be kept aren’t made to be made, he wants to say, but instead says, “Okay.”

---

The next day is Iris and stones that bleed - because obviously - and Alice and too much, too much, after all that Quiet.

Then suddenly: it’s peaches and plums, peaches and plums, peaches and plums .

Hope isn’t a fragment of bravery he allows himself to hold, not usually. But as he lays in bed and idly runs his finger over the smooth clay silhouette of the woman spinning a long, nearly endless thread, he paints a mosaic that stretches out to the edges of his consciousness.

Peaches and plums.

#queliot #queliot ff #the magicians #the magicians ff #quentin coldwater #eliot waugh #julia wicker #fic #quentin and i both have a lot of feelings #and make poor life choices #but i like to think we're lovable scamps anyway #it has seriously been THREE YEARS since i wrote fic

[yvngbin]

hello i’m arriving to the party an entire day late and this is Not Surprising at All to anybody who knows me slightly well because i’m late to everything. said late writer is ya boy , felix  ! i’m 20, i use he / him pronouns, annnd you don’t wanna know about me, you want to know about actual Nerd incarnate , yongbin .

his stats are here ,  bio is being rewritten because my dumbass deleted it from my drive , and all i have left to say is that you can like this if you want me to message you on here or discord to plot instead, since i’m usually faster on there … usually …

note: talks of surgery / birth defects,  &  kinda nsfw

⦑ felix. / 20. / gmt. / he/him. ⦒ woah ! tell me i did not just see cho yong bin walk past us, they’re the child of the cho family right ? they’re twenty three now, so i wonder if they’re here training to become an anarchist hacker. i heard they’re really intuitive & vexatious, so i’d say stay away from them unless you really wanna try your luck. no wonder they’re so notorious though, with the face of byun baekhyun i’d be interested in them as well. anyway, back to what i was saying. - yongbin, pain in the ass, and his most common sobriquet, zero ( name’s inspired by binary code btw ) , was a self taught anarchist hacker , but he sure as hell hasn’t been doing it for free all this time. he’s immensely adept and writes concise code and thoroughly enjoys annoying people and wreaking havoc in that precise order.

- hacker is kind of a blanket term, bin’s speciality was in blackmail, identity theft, exploiting vulnerabilities in various networks and systems, and causing all sorts of chaos online. when he was younger and before he was intimately familiar with the academy, he offered out his services to online rebel groups ( both good and bad ) and wasn’t officially apart of any system or group.

- this was subject to change a few years later when he was caught out on a slight mistake tracing back to his ip, assessed by an official representative of the school, who was impressed by his abilities and offered him an ultimatum: to join the academy or go to a detention camp.

- behind the screen bin was born with a pretty serious congenital heart defect. he needed surgery to survive, if only temporarily. every ten years or so, he’d have to do the same, with more or less no guarantee that they would all be successful. ( i would like to think that when he joined the academy some sort of technology maestro has helped him w / his respiratory issues so lmk if there’s a potential plot link there )

- bin is also an orphan who went through a very jaded system . he never knew his parents and frankly doesn’t care to know them, but little does he know that they have been tracing him from birth and were the sole reason why he got his place in the first place, ultimately unable to take care of him when their careers, both arms dealers, were too dangerous for a kid. his craft and experiences with life has made him instinctively cynical about his parents’ generation so like.. trusting an institution full of teachers their age was not and would never have been an ‘ideal’ for him. 

- his part time job used to be at a pc repair shop and he liked working there a lot, most people would question why he’d ultimately then go on to ruin a life he was happy with just to constantly risk getting into trouble. yongbin’s answer ? Because he’s Chaotic Neutral Thats Why

- socially, surprisingly unlike how most hackers are portrayed as nerds w sellotape on their glasses n a pocket protector ( he has a pocket protector but thats besides the point ) zero is outgoing in school and onwards, liked seeing what other people were interested in, pushing boundaries and keeping up with his friends just by listening and absorbing information.

- he isn’t exactly well liked, because his brain to mouth filter malfunctioned a lot of times which caused friction, But he definitely knows how to make and maintain friendships if you can handle him vanishing off the face of the earth and replying to your text from two weeks ago at 4 am like wyd

PERSONALITY

- zero’s life has mostly been not very fun, and he definitely realises this, but he’s not really the type to sit around and cry about it. mostly, he tries to take it with a stiff upper lip and a good sense of humour. he’s snarky and dry and enjoys getting into cyber-wars with other comp nerds in his limited friendship group. he definitely also enjoys sending lil viruses to other ppl in hearst just to let you know just how much your firewall sucks

- he’s got a real bad habit of getting wayyy in over his head with things. he’s like, a lil bit of a troublemaker — a back-talking, muttering under his breath, sneaking into places he shouldn’t, kind of troublemaker, but nothing too offensive. however, he sometimes gets into Actual Trouble because he makes the world’s worst choices and follows the world’s worst people’s advice. his personal motto is, “oh fuck. why?”

- he can be affectionate and immensely appreciative of anyone who’s genuinely kind toward him, even if his pride won’t let him come right out and say so. he’s p creative and resourceful — definitely can think you out of a pinch, even if he’s not so great at solving his own shit.

- friend wise, he’s attentive and thoughtful; sharp as a tack, funny as anything, and would totally rather help you out with your problems than get into deep discussions about his because opening that big ol book of issues is not gonna be fun for Anybody - romantically he’s inwardly pansexual for a long while but to people around him that probably.. wouldn’t be that big of a surprise. don’t talk to him about real love though he really is a computer machine with 0 emotions in that realm

tinie headcanon list because ive been slowly gathering them in my head for Days

-  has a handful of piercings on his ears , but the one he’s known for most is his labret piercing

- has a chameleon called cookie and donates to a dog shelter wherein his favourite stray dog ( known as flash ) lives. and yes he’s naming them after computer terms. no he wont Reconsider

- proud owner of 1 terabyte of hentai stored on his external hard drive that he’d gladly d*e for n is not ashamed of it in the slightest this zone is kink shame free !!!!

- loves to go exploring around the grimier parts of the academy and places you rlly wouldn’t expect him to be to clear his mind. abandoned classrooms, warehouses, etc.

- talk to him about conspiracy theories about alien life forms for a friend

- has absolutely awful hand eye co-ordination despite it playing in to a big part of their training so just know he’s probably dying first, or just teach him to throw a punch and not somehow hurt himself ? Blease

- sticks his tongue out while he’s hacking or doing anything that requires concentration. can’t multi-task and will ignore everything in his general surroundings to give 110 percent to whatever he’s doing.

- is a scorpio so sorry u cant trust anything he says i dont make the rules the astrological gods do

that’s all i’ve got up to now and i hope this gives you a bit of background into what he’s about. i think i’ll finish here before i write more trash so [ hacker voice ] im out

#hearst.intro #now to completely revamp my theme bc its ugly #this is also embarrassingly long #hnyways #we in this bitch.. finna get crunk !

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @sandalwoodmalecs!

For sandalwoodmalecs: I hope you enjoy this piece: there's a lot of tropes in here which I hope you will like - there's enemies to lovers, though it's one-sided and quite silly, Magnus taking care of Madzie, lots of Queen, and it is set in the summer of 1982.

Read on AO3

*****

whatever this world can give to me

The sky billowed with clouds. Rain fell, heavy and fast, and Magnus cursed, pulling his briefcase closer to his body. He couldn’t stop a groan from slipping through his mouth as the bus sped past him, water drenching his bag despite his previous efforts. It was waterproof - allegedly. Hopefully, it stood the test, or there would be some very angry students when Magnus turned up with their essays - already belated - destroyed, their marks illegible. With that scintillating thought in mind, Magnus chased after the bus. The signpost of the bus stop faced him, almost mockingly. Next to the signpost, underneath the shelter, stood a man, a leather wallet already in his hand. The bus stopped, and Magnus cursed under his breath again.

The man, his suit perfectly dry, entered the bus. The money clinked, the ticket was exchanged, and the door hadn’t closed yet.

But as his eyes met the man’s - they were stunning, molten gold wrapped in jagged emeralds - he shook his head. The door closed, and the bus rattled off. Slightly out of breath, Magnus grabbed the signpost to steady himself, swearing vehemently under his breath. That asshole. He wouldn’t be able to make it to tea with Catarina now.

...

Thankfully, due to his early departure, he wasn’t late for work. Which was just as well. It hadn't been easy to secure this job. Yet, when he turned up to his first lecture, coffee in hand and briefcase slung over his shoulder, there were already students waiting outside the lecture hall. “Right,” Magnus said, opening the door, “come on in.” Chaos swarmed over the room as he stepped inside, the chatter continuing to flourish as the loud snap of desks opening filled the hall. Magnus sighed, throwing his belongings down on the table beside him. 8 am really was too early for a lecture. “Welcome. I have your essays.” The chatter started to crackle, to bubble, on the verge of setting fire to the room. He unclipped the brass clasp of his briefcase, pulling out the slightly damp essays. Magnus smiled, feeling only a tad evil. “Please collect them after the lecture.” A collective grumble spread across the room, but Magnus knew from unfortunate experience that handing them out now would lead to distracted and disinterested students. Well, only slightly more so than usual. Perhaps Magnus wasn't being fair to his students. They were generally a good lot, turning in most of their assessments on time and treating Magnus with respect. Magnus started to walk around, surveying the room, and everyone fell into a silent hush. “After exploring the rise of communism through the allegoristic story of Animal Farm, we will be exploring the fragility of the American Dream in early 20th century Midwestern America through Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. Of course, if you pay any attention at all to the course you are studying, you would already know this.” Magnus turned around, scrawling Of Mice and Men onto the blackboard. He turned back around, his burgundy coat sweeping out. “Get out your books. There’s no rest for the wicked,” he said, winking. “Let's thoroughly dissect and explore the tragedy of George and Lennie.” The lecture passed in a swirl of content pouring out of his mouth, his own battered copy of Of Mice and Men lying on the table. It might not have been the easiest job, teaching adolescents the wonder of literature in the midst of this crazy decade. Life would never be easy. But at least, as a reputable professor, it was easier.

...

When Magnus finally found the time to swing around to Catarina’s place, it was Saturday afternoon, the vicious rain replaced by soft rays of sunlight. As always, Catarina opened the door with the bolt still in place. “Who is it?” The question hung in the air, soaked with the uncertainty and fear born out of societal prejudice.

“Magnus, dear,” he replied.

Catarina unlocked the door, leaning against it with a sigh. “Thank goodness you’re here.” Magnus frowned, walking inside. “Are you alright?” Catarina bit her lip, gesturing towards the phone lying limply on the table. “There’s been an influx of AIDs patients at the hospital, and, well…” "It's not your fault," Magnus cut in, trying to stop Catarina's spiral of self-deprecation before it took over. "What do you need? “Can you look after Madzie?” Catarina asked. It hurt Magnus to hear how hesitant Catarina was. They had been best friends for years. There was no reason to be hesitant in asking for a perfectly reasonable favour. “I know it’s short notice, but -” “Of course I will,” Magnus said, wanting to go up to Ronald Reagan himself to punch him in the face for contributing to all of this distress. “You know I love my sweetpea.” “She’s got a doctor’s appointment at five,” Catarina said, “it’s her yearly check-up, and she really can’t afford to miss it.” “Where is it?” Magnus asked, pushing down his anger at the world and its rigid, unjust ways, as Catarina needed cooperation, not venting, right now. “At the Lightwoods’ clinic down the road.” Catarina tilted her head to the side. “Madzie, you can come out now.” A door down the corridor creaked, opening to reveal Madzie. She dashed out from behind it, running up to hug Magnus. Madzie looked up at him with stars shining in her eyes. "Uncle Magnus! It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, sweetpea,” Magnus replied, dropping down to Madzie’s height, “how’s school?” Her smile widened. “Great! Some kids are mean, but Zoe sticks with me.” Magnus nodded, grateful for the small mercies of life. “And we’re getting to write, now, on these tiny blackboards,” Madzie continued, enthusiasm sparkling within her eyes, “nowhere near as big as yours, Uncle Magnus. Do you know why they make chalk so crumbly?” Magnus laughed, shaking his head. “No, I don’t, sweetpea.” “Anyway,” Catarina interrupted, “Madzie, darling, Uncle Magnus needs to take you to your appointment shortly.” Madzie nodded, entwining her hands with Magnus' jacket as if afraid that he would go away, now that she had stopped talking to him. “May I go to the park after?” “Of course, dear,” Catarina said, slinging her bag over her shoulder, dropping down onto her knees to press a soft kiss to Madzie’s forehead. “Be safe.” “I’ll try,” Madzie promised, “Uncle Magnus knows how to keep me safe.” “He sure does. I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Catarina said, unlatching the door, the bolt banging against the wood. “Do what Uncle Magnus tells you to do, okay?” “I will,” Madzie repeated, fiddling with Magnus’ jacket. The door closed with a click. Madzie fell into Magnus, forcing him to sit down so that she could crawl into his lap, though he didn’t mind.   Magnus opened his arms, making it easier for Madzie to hug him. “We need to go to the doctors shortly, then supper and then the park. Sound good?” Madzie nodded against his neck. “Yep. Can you please read to me?” It broke Magnus’ heart that, even after all these months, Madzie was still so hesitant to ask for what she wanted. “Of course, dear,” he replied, pulling Matilda out of his pocket, “just relax.”

...

The clinic wasn’t difficult to find, with a neat Drs Lightwood scrawled on a sign in front of the place. When Magnus opened the door, he was met with a clean interior. And a friendly receptionist. “Welcome,” she greeted, putting down her pen, “I’m Ms Fray.” “Nice to meet you," Magnus said, "I'm Mr Bane, here for Madzie Loss' 4 o'clock appointment with Dr Lightwood." Ms Fray nodded, checking her notebook with practised ease. “Ah, yes. Please wait in the waiting room and you will be called shortly." “Thank you,” Magnus said, as Madzie grabbed his hand, tugging him towards the waiting area. “They’ve got a nice piano,” Madzie whispered into his ear. “Can you play it please?” Magnus smiled, sitting down at the piano. “Of course, sweetpea.” And as he slipped dramatically into a soft rendition of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, he started to relax. It was nice to only have to worry about one thing at the time, if only temporarily.

...

Dr Lightwood, unfortunately, broke Magnus’ reverie. He turned out to be that asshole from the bus stop. “Ah, Dr Lightwood," Magnus said, his smile now tight, "nice to meet you. I'm Magnus Bane, Madzie's uncle." Dr Lightwood leant forward, offering his hand, and in the name of politeness and in not scarring Madzie, Magnus shook it. "Please,” Dr Lightwood said with a dismissive wave of his hand, “call me Alec.”

If his eyes hadn’t been so familiar, Magnus might have believed that he was mistaken, that this charming doctor wasn’t the same person who had made him miss his bus.

Magnus tried and failed to add some semblance of warmth to his tone before he spoke next. “Alright.”

“Well," Alec said, flipping through a thin file, "as I told Catarina before on the phone, the health insurance has come through." "Right," Magnus replied, having to make a conscious effort to keep the bitterness out of his voice, "let's commence, then."

If it had been a regular day, and Magnus had missed his normal bus, he would have had some serious explaining to do to his boss.

So he wasn’t exactly brimming with positivity about this Dr Lightwood. Yet as the consultation went on, Alec continued to dote on Madzie with soft words and even softer smiles, leading Magnus to think that, despite his selfish tendencies, perhaps Alec wasn’t the devil incarnate. Still, for the peace of his own mind if nothing else, Magnus wanted to ask Alec why he hadn’t simply asked the bus driver to wait. So at the end of the consultation, he spoke up. "Madzie, if you could please wait outside, I would like to have a private word with Dr Lightwood." Madzie nodded, slipping outside without a fuss. Alec sighed, shuffling the paperwork. “Catarina has already paid for everything this year and completed all of the necessary paperwork - you know that, right?” “Yeah,” Magnus dismissed with a wave of his hand, “I do. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. Is there a reason why you didn't wait for me to get on the bus?" Alec blinked. “I wasn’t trying to be rude.” “You clearly saw me,” Magnus couldn’t help but argue, “what, did you think I was running for the trees?” Alec shook his head, a small laugh escaping his lips. “Magnus. That wasn’t the public bus.” Magnus frowned, feeling his irritation slipping away. “But it looked exactly like one.” “A disguise,” Alec said, shrugging. “It was for a… training day, for a special selection of doctors.” “Oh.” Thank goodness Madzie was outside. She didn't need to see this. “Well - what happened to my actual bus?” “It turned the corner as you entered the street,” Alec said, his eyes crinkling with laughter. “Look, as an apology for creating you all this stress, however inadvertently, why don’t we meet up for coffee some time? My treat.” “Sure.”

There wasn’t any real reason to turn down an offer of free food and genuine companionship.

So Magnus took it.

...

There was a certain comfort to his loft, the long, draining week of exams finally behind him, a place where he could simply relax. As Magnus loosened his tie, excitement pierced his weary soul: tonight, he wouldn’t simply be eating takeout alone, but going out with Alec to a local diner. It had been so long since he had gone out with anyone new. His bell rang, and Magnus sighed, tightening his tie back up: despite the tie, his outfit wasn’t awfully fancy, just nice pants with a grey dress shirt. After slipping his wallet and keys into his back pocket, Magnus somehow found the strength within himself to walk to the door. It swung open outwards with ease - thankfully, Alec had taken the precaution of standing away from the door. But his smile still lit up the hallway, despite how relatively casual he was dressed compared to his stiff suit from the other day at the clinic: loose-fitting jeans, a simple t-shirt and scuffed sneakers. “Hey,” Alec said, stepping forward, “you look nice.” Magnus couldn’t stop the warmth in his chest from spreading, despite the danger. “Why thank you,” he replied, a smile slipping onto his face, “so do you, Dr Lightwood.” A slither of disapproval fell into Alec’s gaze. “No titles here, Dr Bane. Simply good food.” “Right then, Alec,” Magnus said, pulling the door closed behind him, “let’s head to the famous diner, then.”

...

The diner was lovely, tucked away from the general hustle and bustle of New York. “How’d you find this place?” Magnus asked as they walked inside. “It’s gorgeous.” Alec shrugged. “Come here all the time with my partner. It’s near the clinic and it serves good food.” As Alec spoke, a waitress approached them, her blonde hair tucked up into a bun. “Take your seats wherever you please,” she said, “and I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your order.” “Thanks, Lydia,” Alec said, before leading Magnus to a corner booth, near the jukebox that was belting out Don’t Stop Believin’.

Alec picked up the pitcher of water when he sat down, gesturing for Magnus to do the same. Magnus slipped onto the seat opposite Alec. “Who’s your partner?” he asked, opening the menu, “your wife?” It wasn’t something that Magnus necessarily wanted to be true, but something that was likely to be. Alec spluttered, putting down the pitcher of water. “Oh God no. It’s my sister.” “How’s working with your sister?” Magnus asked, scanning the menu absentmindedly, in an effort to shield his relief from the world. Alec shrugged,  pouring water into his glass. “Good. She’s an amazing doctor. Could do without the teasing, though.” “Ah, but that’s the sisterly love right there,” Magnus said, his tone warm. Alec snorted. “Sure. Sisterly love. Want some?” he asked, gesturing with the pitcher. Magnus shook his head. “Nah, I’m good. Thinking of getting a chocolate milkshake.” Alec nodded, humming. “Izzy told me that they’re good. What else?” “A scone.” Magnus couldn’t help but think of how ashamed Ragnor would be of Magnus for daring to order and consume a disgusting, American scone. “Sounds good,” Alec said, sipping his water. He tilted his head towards the jukebox, which had now slipped into Under Pressure. “Do you like Queen?” A smile broke through, a topic of ease sliding onto his tongue. “Yeah,” Magnus replied, “they’re great.” Alec put down his glass of water, his gaze content. “Brilliant. My sister doesn’t. Nice to meet a fellow fan,” he said, holding his hand out in a mock handshake. “Why ever not?” Magnus asked as he shook Alec’s hand, pushing down the laughter bubbling within himself, feeling more comfortable by the second. Alec shrugged. “Bad taste, I say.” Magnus laughed, closing the menu. “Fair call.” And as the night fell away, into laughter and delicious food, Magnus couldn’t help but reflect on how screwed he was. Alec was such a beautiful man, both inside and out. Magnus really should learn to stop wanting what he could never have.

...

It wasn’t difficult to track down the clinic’s number, but it was with unsteady fingers that Magnus dialled it. Not knowing how something would be received tended to instil fear into a person. There was a click, a whirl, and the line crackled. “Dr Lightwood speaking.” It wasn’t Alec speaking - Magnus could tell that much. “Um, hi. This is Magnus Bane -” “I see,” they replied, smugness crawling into their voice. “I’ll get my brother in a minute, he’s on a break.” So Magnus waited, fanning himself to try and cool himself in the stifling summer heat. “Hello,” Alec said, “Magnus, thanks for calling.” It wasn’t what he had expected. “Oh - that’s quite okay. I was just wondering...” the line crackled with static, “if we could meet up again?” “Definitely. It’s game night with my sister tomorrow night if you’d like to come?” “That sounds lovely,” Magnus said, mopping the sweat from his forehead. “We even have an air conditioner,” Alec added, amusement slipping into his voice. “Izzy insisted that she would not live with me if I stunk up the place every summer. So, I let her invest.” “How chivalrous of you,” Magnus commented, the information making the deal sweeter if time spent with such an intriguing man needed to be improved upon. Alec chuckled. “Indeed. You can meet us at the clinic at 6 o’clock tomorrow night. Trust me, it’s easier that way.” “Well.” Magnus paused, taking a sip of his lukewarm water. “If you insist. See you then, Alec.” “See you. Stay safe.”

...

The clouds swirled above Magnus as he entered the clinic, the reception area empty but for the chatter of Alec and his sister drifting through from another room. “Stop overreacting,” someone chided, “everything is going to be fine.” Magnus couldn’t help the curiosity from spiking beneath his skin, as he strode forward and knocked on the door behind the reception desk. “Hello,” he said to an eyeful of plaster. The door opened, and with it, a young woman, her dark hair twisted into an intricate bun. “Magnus!” she said, beaming. She started to unbutton her lab coat, shedding the world of work from her shoulders. “I’m Izzy, Alec’s sister.” “Lovely to meet you,” Magnus replied, reaching out to shake her hand.

Izzy shook his hand. “You’ve found a chivalrous one, brother,” she teased. “I guess so,” Alec said as he stepped into the room, his hair ruffled. "Let's go.”

Only joy came from following Alec to his home, to another phenomenal night.

...

The game of the night turned out to be Payday; a game that Magnus cherished, if not for the game itself but of the countless times he had played it with Madzie. But never before had it been such a competitive exercise. “Honestly,” Alec muttered, reluctantly forking out some of his fake cash, “I didn’t even go to any High School Dances. Why do I have to pay for it?” “Stop complaining,” Izzy interrupted, her own wad of cash thick from a particularly profitable deal involving water pipes, “it’s a game, and anyway, you can survive buying your sister a few dresses.” Magnus laughed, lightness brewing within him, and it had nothing to do with the champagne. “Darling, I had to pitch in the same amount to make you a mayor. It’s a chance game.” “Well,” Alec said, handing the dice to Magnus, his palm warm, “my luck is a sham.” Izzy snorted, putting down her wine. “No, it’s not. You’re going to Queen next week.” “Yeah, because it’s my birthday gift from you, who I’m going with,” Alec replied, his gaze deadpan. Izzy shrugged. “Excuses, excuses.” She paused, swishing her wine around, turning to face Magnus, her eyes sparkling with the same fire that had made this game so intense. “You should go.” Magnus shook his head. “No, dear. You bought the tickets. You should go.” Izzy shrugged again. “Yeah, because I wanted my brother to have the option to go with someone, and I was there if he didn’t find anyone else he wanted to go with.” A logical response. Those always were more difficult to refute. “Really, Izzy, there’s no need -” Magnus said, repeating himself. As much as he would love to go to Queen, see Freddie Mercury’s face sparkle under the gleam of fluorescent lights as he belted his heart out, he didn’t want to be an intruder. Didn’t want Alec to resent him for stealing his sister’s rightful place. “Izzy’s right,” Alec interrupted, “she could care less about Queen, but you clearly love them.” Magnus blinked. “Are you sure?” “Yeah,” Alec said, putting down his own glass, “they’re my tickets and I’d love to go with you - if you can make it. It’s 8 pm next Tuesday.” Magnus finished work at 5. “Yeah,” he said, defeated, “I can.” “Right,” Izzy said, crossing her arms, “that’s settled, then.” Magnus smiled, his chest tight. “I guess it is, then.” “I’m looking forward to getting to spend more time with you,” Alec replied, picking up his glass. Lies fell, sugar sweet, from Alec’s lips, again and again. Yet perhaps Alec did genuinely enjoy Magnus’ company. Magnus lifted his glass in mock salute. “So am I.”

...

It took an hour on the dusty, crowded trains of New York to reach Madison Square Garden - but with Alec, it hadn’t mattered the surroundings, but who he was with.

The chatter swelled as they were caught up in the crowd moving towards Madison Square Garden. The sun still flared across the city as they shuffled through Tower B, yet there was also a cool breeze swirling throughout the crowd of people. They walked in the sticky heat to their seats along row 14, near the corner, but with a clear view of the stage. “You have a very nice sister,” Magnus muttered as they sat down. Alec shrugged. “Izzy’s amazing. But you should see what I got for her birthday.” “What?” Magnus asked as people continued to file in. “Her new home,” Alec said as if it was the most mundane gift in the world. “She had recently qualified as a doctor, much to our parents’ detriment, and I offered her a place where she wasn’t constantly asked when she was going to marry.” Alec fell quiet. “I don’t think either of us is going to please our parents in that particular area of life.” “Well.” Magnus cracked open his water, expensive as it was, and took a sip. “Marriage isn’t everything.” Alec laughed dryly. “Tell that to my parents. You’d be out of the door before you had even entered.” “Let’s not talk about those of the past,” Magnus said, squashing down the glee that arose from Alec’s untraditional views shining through, “let’s talk about the present, and the miracles we’re about to witness.” Alec nodded, and as he did, the whole entire stadium fell into a hush.

But then the whole crowd cheered and they joined into the roar, Freddie Mercury himself strolling onto the stage. “Hello New York!” Freddie said, his voice rolling across the stadium in a booming echo. “Welcome to Madison Square Garden!” The music thrummed with energy; but the display itself enthralled Magnus, with the dancing of the lights, in shades of green and red and blue, smoke curling off the stage. But perhaps the most enchanting part of the performance was Freddie himself, as he sung, walking across the stage like it was his home. He clapped, along with Alec, as the crowd joined in for a fast-paced rendition of We Will Rock You. The songs took him away, to an easier time, to a lighter time, to a world full of possibility.   The crowd buzzed with enthusiasm, and it was contagious. For Magnus sung, he clapped, he laughed. A brilliant night, made sweeter by the man by his side. As it drew to an end, the chorus of We Are The Champions swelling into place with the banging of drums, fire licked against his skin due to the sheer intensity of the atmosphere. This was a concert of flame, of passion, of joy. But Magnus didn’t think that he needed to come here to find that part of himself - if he was allowed, he could find it in the man sitting right next to him.

...

They stumbled onto the night train with others from the concert, chatting idly with laughter stirring their weary bones. “Aren’t you glad that we forced you to go?” Alec teased, his eyes twinkling. Magnus shrugged. “Yeah,” he whispered, his voice slightly raspy from all of the singing, “I am. Thank you, again.” “I don’t think you quite understand,” Alec said, as the carriage shook and rattled, “it was my pleasure.”

...

There was a notable silence to Alec’s apartment after the buzz of the concert, covering Magnus like a blanket. Magnus flopped onto the couch, closing his eyes. The click of the door closing, the thud of Alec’s boots; all these little things reminding Magnus that he needed to get himself under control. “Magnus?” Alec called out, uncertainty wavering in his voice. “Are you alright?” Magnus lifted his head to smile, but it was strained and his eyes felt as dull as tarnished silver. “I’m fine.” Alec bit his lip. “Of course. It’s getting late.” There it was - the dreaded finality to Alec’s words. Alec had indulged Magnus for long enough. He was under no obligation to stick around. Even as a friend, even if - even if Magnus wanted more than that. But the world still shouted, still degraded and scorned and defiled men like him - yet Alec wasn’t like that. He wouldn’t yell at Magnus, but his rejection would be soft, and - Magnus could lose him. Magnus didn’t think he could bear that. Magnus nodded, fixating his gaze on the portrait of a beautiful woman in front of him. He’d never seen her before. “It is.” “Magnus,” Alec reprimanded softly, dropping down onto the couch beside him. “I think it best if - if you stay the night, if you don’t mind. The city isn’t safe at night when you’re alone - and -” Alec seemed worried, in a way Magnus really hadn’t seen him fret before. “Calm down,” Magnus interrupted, “I’ll stay, if that makes you feel better.”

But his words were simply another form of pretence: he wanted to stay for his own sake, simple as that. Alec sunk further into the couch. “Thank you. You can sleep in Izzy’s room, she’s with a friend tonight.” Alec sighed, curling up in on himself. “She can take care of herself.” Magnus doesn’t know who Alec was trying to convince - himself or Magnus. “Of course she can,” Magnus reassured, pushing away the hurt that arose from Alec choosing to not face him, despite the awkward position that ensued. “That’s her friend, Maia,” Alec said, pointing at the picture, “fierce and stubborn. Perfect for Izzy.” Magnus could feel himself relax, albeit slightly. Not a girlfriend, then. Alec shifted on the couch, restlessness interwoven into his bones. “There’s something I need to tell you.” Alec wasn’t looking at Magnus. “Go ahead,” Magnus said, “we’ve got all night.” “The thing is.” Alec sighed again, shaking his head. “Do you want some tea?” Magnus didn't particularly want tea, but - but it would mean that he got to chatter with Alec a bit longer. “If you don’t mind,” Magnus replied, “that would be lovely.” It seemed that all of the energy from the concert had been sucked out by the oppressive heat that still swirled around the city, even as the sun bid New York good night. Alec got up, quickly, as if thankful for the distance it put between him and Magnus. “How’s work?” It felt like Alec was trying to stagnate the conversation with mundane topics. “Exam season is coming up, so busy.” There was the whistle, the click of the kettle and the rattle of tea leaves before Alec spoke next. “I don’t miss it.” Magnus buttoned and unbuttoned his right cuff a few times. “Neither do I, rather, it’s much more pleasant being on this side of exams. Look - Alec - are you alright?” No matter how unfulfilled, how lost Magnus felt - how he felt didn’t matter. But, now, if Magnus was making Alec feel uncomfortable - that mattered. “Um.” Alec blinked, almost dropping the mug he was holding. “I need to tell you something.” The fear from before came roaring up into his heart, winding around it in an act of strangulation. “Okay,” Magnus said, swallowing down his own fear, “I trust you.” Alec smiled. Something fragile, small, but oh so beautiful. “So do I.” The kettle started to bubble, to boil, but Alec wasn’t paying any attention to it - instead, his eyes were fixated on Magnus. “I’m gay.” The words were quick, muttered under his breath like Alec was ashamed. “Hey,” Magnus said softly, “that’s okay. Thank you for telling me.” Such an immense show of trust; but even if Alec could be attracted to him, it didn’t mean he was. “And.” He paused. “Only Izzy knows, but I thought it would be important to tell you because -” Alec trailed off, turning off the whistling kettle. “Alec,” Magnus said, pushing aside his own mess of emotions in an effort to untangle Alec's, “you don’t have to tell me anything else that makes you uncomfortable.” Alec shook his head, putting the mug down, pouring tea into it. “No. I need to. And - if you never want to see me again after this, I completely understand.” Magnus couldn’t fathom anything that would turn him against Alec. Well, perhaps murder. But even then, it would depend on the circumstances. Alec exhaled, walking over with Magnus’ cup of tea, his eyes flickering down to the rug as he sat down on the armchair across from Magnus. “I like you.” Alec seemed frozen, rubbing his hands together. “Romantically - and - I just thought you should know, before it got more serious, before.” He swallowed again. “Before it would have been more painful for me to let go of you.” It broke Magnus’ heart, the way that Alec cut his own emotions away as if they were worthless. They were definitely not worthless. “Look,” Magnus began, walking over to Alec, putting his hand on Alec’s shoulder. “I’m bisexual, so I get how brave you are.” Alec stared at him, the sheer vulnerability and accompanying fear in his gaze throwing another dagger at Magnus’ heart. “Oh,” he whispered, “that’s good, but -” “I have feelings for you, too,” Magnus interrupted before Alec could enter another spiral of self-deprecation. “How could I not? You’re the most magnificent man I’ve ever met.” “I.” Alec blinked, his eyes wet. “I just. Really?” “Really,” Magnus said, rubbing circles into Alec’s shoulders, a smile slipping through. Alec leaned forward, tentatively, to cup Magnus’ face as if he was the most precious object in the world. “Can I.” He hesitated. “Can I kiss you?” “Of course,” Magnus replied, unable to stop himself from leaning into Alec’s touch. It was like being enveloped in pure, gentle warmth. With that, Alec leaned forward. The kiss felt like coming home, like kicking off your shoes after a long day at work. Alec pulled at Magnus’ jacket, and Magnus melted further into the kiss, winding his arms around Alec’s neck. He’d never felt so safe. The kiss ended, and Magnus laughed in disbelief. “I’m glad you took this risk. That was.” He searched for an adequate word, but couldn’t find anything adequate for the exhilaration spreading throughout his body and mind. “Wonderful. Exquisite.” “It was,” Alec said, joy shining in his eyes, “It’s getting late, though. Do you want to go to sleep?” Magnus nodded, stifling a yawn against his elbow. “Yeah. Is it okay if I go into your room? Just to sleep.” In the wake of their confessions, Magnus simply wanted to be close to Alec, to soak up his warmth, for as long as he could. “Yeah,” Alec breathed, “yeah, that sounds nice.” It took a few minutes, a few moments sinking into the wonderland spinning itself into existence before Magnus’ eyes, before Alec got up, Magnus following behind him. Once there, they sank into the bed, exhausted. But not too exhausted for Magnus to slip a hand around Alec’s waist, pulling him close, burrowing instinctively into his warmth. “I’m not going anywhere,” Alec mumbled, entwining his hand with Magnus’. The world outside might not be the most accepting; but here, in the arms of the man he was already halfway to falling in love with, Magnus had never felt freer.

#sandalwoodmalecs #malecsanta18 #*fics18 #*gifts18