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thatone-brightstar · 4 months

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someone i saw in a dream once...| C. Berzatto x fem!reader oneshot

a/n: creds to the lovely @thebearer bc i love her dad!carm blurbs and wanted to try it out myself... loved it btw. happy holidays and happy new year to you all 🎄✨🧸

ps. I was actually gonna call this "a very merry hoe-liday special" lol

WARNINGS: smut, piv unprotected sex, dirty talk, reader is on birth control but isn't mentioned (wrap it up IRL tho), minors DNI but you'll do what you want so don't say I didn't warn you

“Yours?” He asked lazily.

“Uh… no.” A nervous laugh escaped your chest from your space on the warm bed, one of his arms wrapped around you as the other played with your hand above the covers. “I don’t wanna argue about why we haven’t baptized her yet, again.”

“That’s fair.” He responded with a chuckle.

“Yours?” You asked back.

Carmy shook his head immediately. “Fuck no.”

“Y’know, she’s gonna ask why we’ve never been to her Grams when she’s older…”

“And when she’s older. I’ll tell her ‘bout the time her ‘Grams’ ran the car through the living room on Christmas Eve.” He stayed silent for a little longer and you moved your gaze from your intertwined hands to his creased brows.

As best as you could, you pulled your other arm from under the covers and up to caress the side of his jaw, drawing his eyes back to you.

“I don’t wanna put her through that shit.”

You nodded and offered a thin smile “No- I know.” then dropped your head back over his warm chest. “We don’t have to do anything. We’ll just stay here, watch somethin’ make breakfast… and maybe see the lights when it’s not so cold out.”

“You think she’ll like that?”

“Oh yeah,” You reassured. “Pjs all day, presents and The Grinch? She’s gonna eat that shit up.” Your words made Carmy chuckle again, the sour memory buried back as he leaned down to kiss your forehead.

“I dunno why she likes that movie…” He murmured, adding kiss after kiss around your beaming face. “Fuckin’ green thing’s creepy.”

You laughed and slid your arms around his neck while he dropped slowly over your laying body. “Probably reminds her of you, you grinch.”

“Oh yeah? You think I’m a grinch?” Carmy teased, smiling as he continued to drag his lips along your skin, down the side of your jaw and to the little spot against your neck that drew shaky breaths.

One of his hands pushed against the plush mattress to hold himself up while the other began to rake smoothly up your naked thigh. You nodded in agreement, giggling when the soft curls tickled the side of your cheek.

“Save it for naptime-” You reminded him. “Your kid’s got the best timing-”

Almost like clockwork, three little knocks barely rattled the door and you raised your brows up at Carmy. ‘Told ya’ you mouth at him then asked teasingly “Who is it?”.

A little giggle made it past the wood, followed by a tiny voice. “Me mamma!” And another three hurried knocks.

“Come in!” You sang back again as Carmy pushed himself off you and you leaned up just in time to hear the door creak and catch the tiny human hurling herself into the unmade bed. “Omf!”

“Merry Christmas!” She shouted with extended arms once she managed to balance herself over the duvet on her knees.

She threw her tiny arms around both of your necks and pulled you in for a hug as tight as her little strength allowed her. You corresponded the embrace, one arm circling her, while the other hugged Carmy.

“Oh merry Christmas, pretty girl! Did you go see what Santa brought you?” You asked, pushing back the wild hairs she had inherited from her father. She shook her head no.

“Aren’t you curious?” Carmy asked and she nodded. “Cause I think I heard a little bell last night…”

That was enough to rattle her excitement even more, a gasp obvious over her flushed cheeks and before you could say anything else, she dragged herself off the bed and onto the floor.

“C’mon Daddy!” The little girl ordered, taking his hand and dragging him out the room with her.

Your smile beamed as you waved a teasing goodbye at him, then threw yourself back, stretching your limbs into the bed.

“Mommy hurry up!” You heard travel through the hallway and sighed out a short laugh.

“Comin’!”

**********

“Vale, baby, not so close to the tv, okay?” You reminded the toddler from your space by the kitchen counter, slicing up fruit for breakfast.

“I don’t get it…” Carmy continued muttering by your side while whisking the batter.

You sniggered at his tone and shrugged. The theme song to the movie played through the speakers again and you could hear her little voice sing along as the stuffy in her hands danced to the tune.

“I mean, what even is he?”

“a who…” You answered obviously and he furrowed his brows again.

“a what?”

“No daddy-“ She turned around and pushed herself up on the back of the couch to try and appear bigger, stuffed grinch hanging loosely from one of her hands. “a who!”

You laughed as Carmen nodded jokingly, mouth trapped in an obvious ‘oh’ shape and the sound of your laugh made her giggle even harder, before carefully crawling off the couch and padding her way into the kitchen beside him.

“What’cha making?” She asked curiously, standing on her socked toes beside him but barely reaching the top of the counter with her nose.

“Pancakes. You wanna help?” He asked and she nodded excitedly.

Carmy turned to you with a small smile while wiping his hands on his rag, then moved down to pick up the awaiting child, who wrapped her tiny legs as much as she could around his torso.

“Alright chef Valentina,” He began, making her giggle and curl up against his side. “ wanna pour the chips in?”

He sat her on the edge by the bowl and handed her the cup filled to the brim with chocolate chips. It took both of her little hands to hold it and with slightly clumsy movements, she poured them in slowly.

“Atta girl…” He whispered, holding the bowl steady so she could whisk them in, and something about the sweetness in his tone warmed your heart.

You eyed them every few seconds, an ever present smile on your face. It really did warm your heart to see him that way, sweet and nurturing and kind. Carmy was what you always hoped to find in a partner one day, the kind of person you dreamed about but always assumed you’d never have; yet there he was, perfectly present as he helped your daughter flip pancakes for christmas breakfast.

“Mommy look!” She called towards you, making your smile grow twice as big, if that was even possible.

“I see baby, good job!” You praised too and moved to their side.

She stood on her step stool over the pan, at a careful distance from the fire, while you and Carmy guarded her sides. A kiss was placed on her wild hair as you brushed your hand over her back then laced in into Carmy’s arm, leaning your head on his shoulder. A pleasant feeling of contentment washed over you.

**********

Breakfast took up most of your morning, between batter stains and sticky blueberry maple syrup, it was as if the tiring action of flipping a couple pancakes had worn your daughter out and before her plate was finished, her head had begun tipping into it every few seconds.

Carmy chuckled as he watched her chew herself to sleep for the third time while he got up to start clearing out the table.

“I got it.” You whispered, afraid to wake her up, though she was already out like a light against her high chair. “You go put her to bed.”

“Alright little grinch,” He cooed and as soon as he pulled her up from her chair, her limp body draped over his chest. “how does a nap sound?”

Carmy kept mumbling sweet words and rubbing her back in a soothing manner as he carried her into the room. You would have joined them, but he was always the better one to put her to sleep. Something about him gave her a calming and safe sensation.

While Carmy took his time in your daughter’s room, you began to tidy up the kitchen. The ending scenes of the grinch passed through and the last songs served as ambience while you worked. You hummed along to the soundtrack, washing the last few dishes, when an arm gingerly circled your waist and the warmth of his chest pressed to your back.

“Merry Christmas.” He whispered beside your ear, pressing a kiss to your flushed cheek as a beautifully wrapped box appeared in front of you.

You half turned to him with a soft smile pushing up against your cheeks. “Carm, we said no presents…”

“Just open it… you’re gonna love it.” Carmy said with his characteristic shy smile as he took the soapy dish from you and handed you a drying rag.

You dried your palms and took the small box with caution. After undoing the ribbon and slowly pulling off the lid, a beautiful heart locket shone back at you, taking your breath away. With a slow finger you traced the soft ridges and the delicate designs, as if a piece of lace had been dipped in molten gold then shaped into the small work of art

“Oh Bear, it's beautiful…”

“And you can open it too” He added and unhooked his arm from around your hip to take the box back in his hands.

Carefully, he picked it up and pinched the sides open to reveal a tiny photo inside. It was from a few months back, you remembered the day. The Bear had just received its second star and Carmy and Syd had decided to close that day to offer another friends & family dinner. Richie had taken it outside the restaurant just before service. Carmy stood in the middle, with his pristine chef’s whites slightly unbuttoned, Val sat on his shoulders in her best dress and full of glee and you leaned onto his side, left hand cupping his cheek and glowing engagement ring full on display.

You sucked in your bottom lip to avoid the tears threatening to spill out, then turned to him fully and beamed with joy up at him. “You’re right, I love it.”

His proud smile reached the little creases decorating the sides of his eyes before he leaned down to kiss you with adoration.

Before he could go any further, Carmy blindly placed the necklace back into its box, then slid his fingers past your jaw, burying them in your hair. The movement of his desperate lips over yours left you breathless and despite not wanting to, you moved your face to the side to inhale a few deep and shaky breaths. He stayed glued to your skin, peppering wet kisses over your cheek, jaw and holding your hair up above your neck to grant him greater access into the area.

His other hand roamed down the side of your curves until it reached your hips, then it slid under the thin fabric of your shirt and up again, where it found your naked chest. His thumb skimmed over the tender skin of your nipple, making your hands tighten their grasp around the nape of his neck and sigh out another breath.

“Is she…” You tried to ask but failed as he continued his soft movements.

“Asleep? Yeah.” He answered in a deep tone and hungry searched your lips once more.

With each stroke of his thumb and pull on your hair, you could feel him grow harder against your abdomen and the images crossing your mind didn’t help calm the arousal in your gut either.

“Good.” You smiled against his kiss and pulled him in deeper. “Room. Now.”

That’s all it took before he nodded rapidly and began taking quick steps forward, guiding you through the short hallway and into your bedroom, shutting the door lightly. Once at the foot of the bed, Carmy pulled your shirt off in one swift movement and dumped it somewhere on the floor. Now both of his hands held you by your ribcage, both palms massaging your chest and pulling little moans from your joined mouths.

“Fuck- I love you so much.” He groaned, slowly dropping you against the mattress and without daring to detach from your kiss, followed close behind.

Your hands found their own way to his hips, desperately pulling at the hem of his shirt until it was over his head in seconds, disheveling his hair even more. “I love you so much.” You mumbled back.

Your clothes laid discarded around the room in a few seconds, leaving you buried in between the covers and him. A long sigh parted your chest when you finally felt the sweet relief of his cock inside you, matching his tempo with the strokes of his tongue against yours. Your legs parted even deeper to make space for his thrusts, one thigh wrapped around his hips to accentuate them even harder.

“Fuck- Carm-” You moaned close to his face, trying to be as quiet as you could with him slamming into you.

“Shh, shh- you’re doin’ so good baby-” He praised as he adjusted his weight on his arm and wrapped the other around your thigh, pulling it higher up. “God, you feel so- fuuck”

His movements faltered for a second and he gave a soft breathy laugh that fanned the side of your face, then he placed another kiss over your collar bone and began to slam even faster into you.

Your soft cries vibrated against his skin and fueled his pace, almost rocking the headboard against the wall. Carmy rested his forehead against yours, looking directly into your eyes as he pulled your other leg up and spaced them both beside your elbows. The new change in position had you feeling him so deep in your core you could almost taste him and the way your eyes started to lose focus plastered a grin across his face.

“You love it when I fuck you like that, huh?” He asked in a breathless tone, but all you could do was nod frantically. “So fuckin’ beautiful…” He mumbled over and over.

Each stroke felt deeper than the last, the only indication of your upcoming orgasm was the brows screwed over your face and the trembling of your thighs. Carmy rocked himself continuously into you until you couldn’t take it anymore. A thousand little lights exploded behind your eyes, making your back arch away from the bed and your nails dig into his sturdy shoulders. Your walls contracted against his thick cock as he pushed in a few more strokes, before his chest shuttered with a contained groan and he let himself fall carefully over your panting chest.

Carmy pushed himself off you with effort and rolled to your side, then hooked his arm under your shoulders and pulled you to rest over his still rapidly beating heart.

“How does a nap sound?” He whispered over your head after a few silent minutes.

You chuckled at his tone but nodded in agreement, tracing little shapes over his chest until his beats took a more relaxed tempo and the breaths fanning over your hair grew longer and heavier.

**********

Taglist: @pearlstiare @teteminne , @beebslebobs, @harrysmatcha , @yum-yahgurt , @pussy-f41ry , @kirakombat , @redsakura101 , @hobisunshine13 , @feyhunter78, @xeneth99 and that's it lmao

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coconutcordiale · 2 years

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do not disturb

pairing- jake 'hangman' seresin x female!reader (no use of y/n)

synopsis-

“It’s one hundred degrees in this room,” Hangman defends himself. “I can’t sleep in pants, I’ll die.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, considering just sleeping in the hallway yourself and ending this torture. “Is your penchant for drama genetic? Are your sisters like this too?”

warnings- 18+ only minors DNI, what's a plot never met her, explicit protected piv sex, lil corruption/innocence kink, choking (pls look up the correct way before doing it), hangman's dirty mouth, size kink (if jake doesn't have a big dick I'm staging a revolt), brat tamer hangman if you squint, inexperienced ish reader (tried but I'm a hoe so idk if I managed it), no kink negotiation here (talk to your partners first irl), safewords not explicitly stated but I promise this is consensual af, excessive pet names, exasperated sleepy friends to lovers

length- 4k this was supposed to be like 1k I don't know blame hangman

an- this is just smut w lil fluff sprinkles. i'm a hangman girl (read: I'm obsessed with glen powell) so I felt some type of way about being mean to him in tailspin & that's why this now exists. also idfk what this even is sorry! hope it's not terrible ok ily bye

Technically, it’s the middle of the night.

That’s why you’re burying homicidal urges when you hear knocking on your hotel room door.

Urges that increase tenfold when you open it to see Jake Seresin, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly in an old Navy shirt that looks way too soft for your sleep addled brain to deal with right now.

“Hangman,” you greet drily. “Why the fuck.”

Rubbing sleep from your eyes, you’re not unhappy to see him, per se, but it’s well past acceptable social hours. He’ll have to forgive your less than enthusiastic welcome. Part of you thinks you might still be sleeping.

He at least has the decency to look sheepish for waking you up. Well, about as sheepish as Hangman is capable of looking. “Coyote said he was bringing someone back to our room. Can I crash with you tonight? Everyone else is either hooking up or dead asleep.”

Fucking weddings.

You narrow your eyes. “What if I have someone here?”

He smirks and you kind of want to slap him.

A testament to your willpower, you sigh instead, briefly wondering if it’s really that bad to force him to sleep in the hallway, before opening the door and stepping to the side.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he drawls, letting you feel the heat of his body as he passes by you, just a touch too close for comfort.

“Cool pjs.” He smirks again, raking his eyes up and down your colorful matching shorts and shirt set.

“Bite me.”

Hangman smiles good-naturedly causing you to idly wonder if anything has ever bothered him in his entire life.

“You’re real cute when you’re tired,” he says instead of being offended and now you’re debating if you actually should slap him, or maybe yourself for the way his compliment brings heat to your cheeks.

“Where’s Phoenix? Thought you were sharing a room with her this weekend.”

Your stomach drops as you consider that Phoenix might be why he came to crash in your room, and you try not to make a face at its betrayal.

“She’s probably in your room with Coyote,” you deadpan to cover up your discomfort, and then relish in the way his mouth drops open in surprise. “Christ, aren’t you supposed to be smart, Hangman? I’m kidding, she met someone at the reception.”

You know you’re being a little more abrasive with him than normal, but you can’t quite help the jabs that come out when you’re feeling uneasy.

And Hangman does nothing, if not make you very, very uneasy. Especially like this, with his blonde hair soft and flopping all over his forehead, that old t-shirt clearly having been shrunk in the wash over the years straining across his chest, riding up a little high above his sweatpants.

The gears are clearly turning in his head, no doubt forming something witty to gain back the slight upper hand you’ve gained in this verbal sparring.

You should be preparing yourself for whatever he’s about to say that’s sure to make you lose your footing. But he looks like a goddamn sleepwear model like this, mellow and soft and cuddly, eyes drooping a little from tiredness and the whiskey he was sipping on all night, clothes begging to have someone’s hands fisted in them and…okay. Stopping that train of thought right the fuck now.

Nothing but danger lies down that road with a girl like you and a guy like Hangman.

You’re contemplating if you could get away with taking a cold shower when he finally looks around your room, its distinct lack of two beds apparently killing whatever comeback he had on the tip of his tongue.

“I can sleep on the floor.” He’s rubbing the back of his neck again and his uncharacteristic awkwardness is starting to make your skin itch.

Message received, Hangman. We both know I’m not your type.

You’ve seen the girls he usually goes home with. Even if every single one of them wasn’t annoyingly beautiful, you already know where you stand with him. For all intents and purposes, you’re just another one of the guys. Sure, you don’t take a different conquest home every other night like the rest of them, but you banter and compete with them like buddies.

And since you and Hangman are just buddies, you roll your eyes for appearances. “Just get in the bed, Seresin. It’s huge, I’m not going to make you sleep on the floor.”

He shrugs, like he’s giving himself credit for his half-assed offer and goes to pull his sweatpants off. You give him a withering look of disbelief, studiously avoiding looking at the way his boxers stretch over his muscular thighs.

“It’s one hundred degrees in this room,” Hangman defends himself. “I can’t sleep in pants, I’ll die.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, considering just sleeping in the hallway yourself and ending this torture. “Is your penchant for drama genetic? Are your sisters like this too?”

He just gives you a dazzling smile in response, and you spin away from him before everything inside you melts.

Turning the thermostat down, you shoot an evident you’re welcome stare in his direction, but his sweatpants remain in their place on the floor. He’s laid out on the bed, all tanned skin and muscle, arms crossed behind his head in a way that’s surely meant to draw your attention straight to his biceps.

Deep breath, you tell yourself. You can do this, just lay down on the other side and don’t be weird.

You get in and pull the covers tight, hoping the shiver that runs through you as the air conditioning kicks on isn’t noticeable.

“And I’m dramatic,” Jake huffs, getting under the blanket and rolling closer to you. You tense, merely out of reflex and a frown creases his eyebrows almost imperceptibly before he gets comfortable on his side, pulls you into his arms. “Relax, sugar. Just trying to keep you warm, since you’re always so cold. Been told I’m like a furnace.”

By who? You want to snap at him, but instead you swallow the words and lean into his chest. He really is warm.

“Would never do anything you don’t want me to,” he mumbles, but there’s a trace of a chuckle in his voice that feels like he’s making fun of you.

Mocking aside, that's definitely true.

You'd never expect him to do any of the things you want him to, either. There's a reason your apprehension stems from you crossing some sort of invisible line with him in your bed and not vice versa.

"I know," you whisper, not trusting yourself to say much else without divulging all the thoughts about him you've buried deep under your comforter at home.

“How come you didn’t ask anyone else to come up and keep you warm?” Jake teases, after a few moments of silence where you were busy focusing on the whirr of the air conditioner and trying to ignore your pounding heart.

You squint, still kind of wondering if he can feel your pulse racing.

“The curly haired guy, from the wedding,” he supplies helpfully to answer your confused expression.

Oh. You’re surprised Jake noticed you talking to him at all. “It’s not like I wanted to sleep with him. We were just chatting.”

“Well, he definitely wanted to.” You’d love to imagine there’s a hint of bitterness in his tone, but you know that’s just wishful thinking.

“That’s not really my thing,” you say quietly, as if he doesn’t already know. He knew enough to know you wouldn’t have anyone up here with you, after all.

It’s so much easier, laying here in the dark, not having to meet his beautiful green eyes, to be honest. All your jabs having melted into smooth, silky edges at the warmth of his body.

There’s a playful lilt to Jake’s voice again. “Sex?”

You smack him lightly on the chest. “One-night stands. I can never get comfortable enough with a stranger to have a good time, things are just better for me when it’s more involved.”

When there’s feelings, you don’t say, because you’re pretty sure he can put two and two together without you having to spell it out.

You still kind of wish you hadn’t said anything, are kicking yourself for admitting that out loud when he cuts through the anxiety of your internal monologue.

“Nothing wrong with knowing what you want, darlin’.”

“It sucks sometimes,” you admit. “It can be a little lonely.”

“Better than being with the wrong person if it’s just going to make you feel bad.”

Part of you wants to roll your eyes and scoff at him, as if Casanova Jake Seresin has any idea what that feels like, but he’s rubbing small, comforting circles in between your shoulder blades and it’s short-circuiting your brain. You find yourself running your fingers up his spine instead, playing with the soft threads of his t-shirt like you’ve wanted to since the moment you saw him at your door tonight.

“Feels nice,” he comments, pulling you in closer.

Spurred on by his praise you keep going, wandering down his back to where his shirt rides up. You look down and see that little strip of blonde hair that disappears into the waistband of his boxers, slung low enough that you can see that stupid Adonis belt on his abs. Your hand moves to the front of him of its own accord, tracing the ridges there, brushing dangerously close to the strip of elastic at the top.

Jake’s arm pops up so he can support his head with his hand, looking down at you imploringly. “What’re you playing at, sugar?”

You take your hand back like it’s been burned, cheeks suddenly hot as you realize you’d gotten carried away. “I’m sorry, I just—I didn’t think about what I was doing. Got distracted.”

He’s definitely smirking, you can practically feel it in the air above you, but you’re sure as hell not going to look up and see that self-important grin for yourself.

He pulls your fingers back to his stomach, and you can’t help but immediately brush them over his happy trail. The dusting of blonde hair surprises you a little, having expected Hangman to be too vain to leave any hair around that might distract from his physique.

You’re silently wondering if he has any hair on his chest when he catches a finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. You see his green eyes darkened, studying your face for something. You’re not entirely sure what.

Apparently finding what they’re looking for his expression softens, the hand supporting his head going to brush hair away from your face and you break eye contact, feeling small under his undivided attention. His fingers hover for a second, like he wants to do something more, but go to rest on your pillow instead.

“Thought that I had you pegged wrong all along for a second there, using lines to get in my pants. That’s not really my thing,” he mimics, smile twitching at the edges of his lips.

“Oh, I’m—Jake, I’m not—” you stutter, certain you must be bright red now. Your fingers are playing with the hem of his t-shirt, nervous and fidgety energy working to get released.

I’m not like this, you want to say. I’m not like you.

He exhales audibly, looking down at you, at the cherry blooming on your cheeks, at where your dainty fingers pluck at his shirt. His hand clenches once in the pillow above your head, knuckles practically white, before releasing.

“I know, sweets, was only joking. Fuck, I get that you’re a good girl,” he breathes, strained like he’s barely holding it together. “S’why I always want to ruin you.”

What.

Everything inside your mind shuts off.

All you can hear is the humming of the air conditioner, the slow intake of air into his lungs. Something inside you clenches.

You’re fairly certain a sound that closely resembles a whimper breaks from your throat, but you can’t know for sure, since all thoughts have been erased from your brain.

You hear him suck in a sharp breath, breathing in and out evenly for a couple seconds, regaining control, before he speaks again. “Sorry, sweetheart. Shouldn’t have said that. I won’t, told you I’d never do anything you don’t want.”

You already know that. That’s not the problem. The problem is how many nights you’ve already spent wishing his fingers were on you instead of your own. How many nights you've spent biting back his name, too embarrassed to let your lips form the syllables of someone who you were certain didn’t want you.

Now, though, those walls of certainty seem to be crumbling at every edge.

“What if I want you to?” You ask quietly, barely above a whisper. It almost gets stuck in your throat, but you force your lips to form those words and let them leave your lungs.

Jake’s entire body goes tense.

But then he rolls over, putting you on your back and caging you in with his arms.

“You mean that?” He’s looking at you intensely, so intensely you might be frightened if you weren’t distracted by the weight of him on top of you, by every single scorching point of contact between you.

All you can manage is a nod, eyes starting to glaze over as he fills every inch of your vision.

He chuckles. “Guess that’s a yes.”

Jake ducks his head to kiss you, it’s sweet, sweeter than you ever would’ve expected from him. Sweeter than you thought it would be when you were hiding beneath the sheets in your bed, with your fingers on your clit, choking back his name.

But then he slides his tongue past your lips, deepening the kiss as he tangles a hand in your hair, tugging hard enough to make you moan straight into his mouth. His lips move down to ghost over your neck, across your jaw.

And suddenly his words are hot in your ear. “What do you want, sweetheart? Want me to ruin you? Tell you about all the times I’ve thought about taking you apart?”

Your thighs clench together, heat blooming in your stomach and you notice, all at once, how wet you really are, slick pooling between your thighs under the wispy material of your sleep shorts.

You open your mouth to say yes, desperately trying to find your voice, to find your familiar jabs so you can go toe to toe with him like normal, but all that comes out is a squeak.

His hand stops at your neck, just briefly, thumb rubbing on your pulse point. And it turns every last bit of you in you to sweet, sticky, melting caramel. Your breath hitches, you suck your bottom lip between your teeth, holding back a whimper.

He’s not even doing anything, not really, but your mind immediately latches onto what he could be.

Jake’s eyes go wide for just a second before something wicked glints in the thin ring of green left.

“Thought you were so fucking innocent,” he grunts, running his thumb from your pulse point to your jaw and back again. You bring your hands to his, pulling him closer, silently asking him to press down.

You open your mouth to respond, but you don’t know how to explain. You may not do this kind of thing a lot, but you know what you like. Your imagination has certainly run wild enough times.

But any words that might’ve been readying themselves to leave your lips wither into nothing the moment he squeezes your neck.

“Jake,” you gasp, words breathy underneath the fingers around your throat. “Jake, I…”

“Hmm, what’s that, sweetheart?” His hand relents a little so you can answer, but you immediately wish he’d tighten his hold again.

“Yes, Jake,” you whine. “I want you to ruin me.”

And you don’t know what’s come over you, if you were even an ounce more present in your own body you’d probably be embarrassed.

But Jake’s head drops next to his hand at the crook of your neck, and he makes a strangled noise, the moan reverberating through your skin.

“Jesus,” he mutters against you. “Trying to kill me, sugar?”

You don’t have an answer for that because you’re not trying to do anything, you just want more.

Your fingers are still grasping his hand, the one still around your neck, tightly, like you’re scared he’ll pull it away, leave you to drift without his grip to ground you, to remind you this moment is real. It’s actually happening.

He lifts his head up to latch his mouth onto yours again and it’s heavier, so much more desperate than before. You whine into him as he slides his hands down your body, pushing up your shirt and you want to laugh at the absurdity of it, that you’re more turned on than you’ve ever been in your entire life and you’re both still fully clothed.

He peels your shirt up and over your head, letting out another obscene groan at the sight of your bare chest.

“Fucking perfect,” he murmurs.

You fist your hands in his shirt in answer, tugging upwards, figuring fair is fair. You’re trying hard not to blush, not to show how his approval makes you light and fuzzy. He grins and sits back on his knees, pulling his shirt up and over his head, ruffling his floppy hair in the process.

Lips parting unconsciously, your tongue flicks out to wet them. You knew he was built, but it’s overwhelming, really, to have all that tan skin on display just inches from your face. You get to run your hands up the length of his entire chest now though, leaning up so your fingers can dance through the tuft of blonde hair near the top.

Jake pushes you down on your back, firm, into the pillows. Smiling deviously when you pout and immediately clench your fingers in the sheets beside you, when your thighs press together, seeking some sort of relief to the ache between them. The seam of your shorts presses just right against your center, and you let your head fall back with a soft moan.

Something akin to dangerous flashes in Jake’s eyes, as he hooks his fingers in your shorts, pulling down in one swift motion and tossing them off the bed before you can gain any more pleasure from the thin material. He pushes your legs apart and groans at the sight of you, glistening wet for him. “God, sweetheart, look at you.”

Just when you think you might die if he doesn’t put his hands on you, if he doesn’t touch you, if he just keeps looking at you like that, like he wants to devour you; he swipes a finger up your slit, tip pressing lightly, teasingly against your bundle of nerves. It’s too much, but not enough all at the same time. He slides a finger in, curling it exactly right on the first try and you can’t help but keen, throwing your head back into the pillows.

He sucks in a sharp breath at your reaction, eyelids going heavy as he presses rough figure eights on your clit. “Want to get my mouth on you, get my tongue inside that gorgeous pussy, but I can’t wait, darlin’, been thinking about this for too long.”

Warmth blooms in your chest at the realization he might’ve imagined this even half as much as you have. You’re sure you’re smiling like an idiot.

Reaching down to the pocket of his sweatpants, he pulls a condom out of his wallet, and you want to tease him, presumptuous much? But any semblance of thought goes out the window when he pulls his boxers down, hard cock slapping against his stomach. Your mouth is suddenly, immediately sandpaper dry.

Fuck.

Of course he’s huge. No one with an ego as colossal as his doesn’t have a reason, or several to back it up.

You don’t even hear yourself saying it out loud, don’t even realize the curses forming on your tongue, until he grins, eyebrow raised, chest puffed out in pride. “Think you can handle me, sweetheart?”

It takes you a few moments to answer, to figure out that you should answer, since you’re transfixed on him, on the strong fingers rolling the condom onto his length. If you had any sense of self-preservation at all you might be genuinely worried about his question, about not being able to walk tomorrow.

Hopefully you don’t sound as winded as you feel when you tell him to shut the fuck up.

Before you can bother with any stupid survival instincts, you’re pulling him down on top of you, wrapping your legs around his waist, savoring the grunt it draws from him as his tip reaches your folds.

“Love it when you’re mouthy, darlin’, nice little challenge for me,” he promises, before pushing himself inside of you.

He goes slow, tortuously slow, and you screw your eyes shut tight as your walls flutter trying to adjust to him. You don’t notice you’re on the verge of a sob until he brushes your hair back from your sweaty forehead. “Just a little more, sweetheart, you can take it.”

The stretch of him seems to go on forever, just on this side of agonizing, but way too good for you to care about the pain, too good to be real and you can barely focus on anything else. Can barely hear Jake’s molten honey voice repeating a slew of continuous praises in your ear, can barely register the weight of his body covering every inch of you.

Any moment now you’ll wake up in your bed at home, covered in sweat, grinding into your bed, achingly alone. You’re almost certain of it.

But then you feel his lips on yours again, hand holding your cheek, gentle, affectionate as he bottoms out. When he finally moves, the heavy, slick pull of him in and out of you reminds you that you’re here.

You don’t even recognize yourself, mewling, long string of unintelligible noises tumbling from your lips.

Jake practically preens. “Where’d my feisty little brat go? That all it takes to shut you up, sugar?”

You can only hope those were rhetorical questions because he’s hiking your legs over his shoulders, picking up the pace, new angle hitting that spot deep inside you again and again, and you can’t form a single thought, let alone words.

Jake’s fingers find your center again and press against your clit in heavy, decisive circles, winding that coil in you tighter and tighter.

“So close,” you whimper, fingers tearing at the bedsheets.

He smirks.

“Did I say you could come, sweetheart?”

Your jaw drops in surprise, eyes rolling back and ears ringing, mind engulfed in the heat burning in your belly.

He’s still grinning smugly as one of those large hands comes back to your neck.

You whine, high-pitched and breathless, eyes fluttering closed, gripping the hand around your neck as he applies pressure, desperate for something to hold onto, and you think you’re trying to form words, some of them may even be making it out of your mouth, something along the lines of please please please, let me come, Jake, I can’t, JakeJakeJakeJake…

“So pretty all fucked out like this, stretched around my cock.” His gaze is fixed on where he’s plunging in and out of you, tone almost reverent. “It’s okay, sweetheart, come for me, wanna feel you, want…”

You don’t hear the rest because you’re focused on where his fingers dig into the sides of your neck, tipping over the edge, string of lights inside of you tangled and blowing a fuse. Everything bursts all at once and you’re clutching Jake’s arms so hard you’re positive you’re leaving marks, but it doesn’t matter, you don’t care because you’re in a free fall, toes curling in bliss.

When you come to, you’re just barely aware of his pace growing erratic, hand on your throat loosening as it goes to brush your sweaty hair back from your forehead. His thrusts are getting shallower, mouth spewing a litany of jumbled praises so tight, so wet, so perfect baby, when suddenly he’s arching over you, hands tight on your hips as he empties into the condom.

You’re not sure you’re still functioning. You’re not sure you’ll ever move again. You’re pretty sure you’ll ever have a coherent thought again.

Distantly you can hear his heavy breathing, feel his weight on top of you but you don’t fully register it.

“Sweetheart?” He asks when you’ve been silent for minutes, or maybe hours, who knows.

You look up at him, blinking slowly, eyelids made of lead, vision unfocused.

Jake grins, and it's almost boyish. It's annoyingly cute. “That good?”

That cuts through the haze enough that you kind of want to slap him, for the arrogance littering those three little words. Or yourself, for helping his ego grow any bigger.

As it stands, you’re too dazed to actually do either. You nod, silently burrowing your face into his neck. He chuckles again, and you decide maybe you don’t hate that teasing sound that much, maybe you’ll spend your days trying to elicit it from him as often as possible. You’re still thinking about it when he peels himself off you to clean you both up.

When he settles back down, he pulls you in tight, curls around you in a way that should be uncomfortable, like he’d crawl inside your skin if he could.

Jake is still glued to you when you wake up in the morning, and your heart clenches too affectionately to be irritated by the fact that you can’t really move. Or breathe.

But you take one look at the smirk on his face, the mischievous glimmer that seems to linger even in his sleep and the butterflies in your stomach turn to stone.

You don’t think he’s that much of an asshole, you’re pretty sure the bravado is all a front. That he wouldn’t do something like this, knowing how you operate, without any intention of moving forward, but the anxiety still thrums incessantly beneath your ribcage.

You’re lost inside your own head, fighting the panic rising in your chest when he yawns, rubbing his eyes before tucking himself back into your side, impossibly closer.

“Guess that fifty bucks I gave Phoenix to find somewhere else to stay was a steal,” he mumbles, fingers dancing across your bare skin.

It’s his turn to pat himself on the back as your mouth drops open in shock.

Jake grins, eyes sparkling as he presses a kiss into your hair. “Good luck getting rid of me now.”

#jake hangman seresin #hangman x reader #hangman x you #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x reader #hangman smut #hangman top gun #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin smut #jake seresin fanfiction #top gun maverick fanfic

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aquaquadrant · 4 months

Text

from eden, part IX (act I)

Word count: 11,504 Warnings: Blood/injury, violence, death, animal death, temporary dismemberment, dissociation, self-deprecating thoughts (not really, Jimmy’s just a listener and doesn’t know it), strong language, fictional racism/xenophobia, panic attacks Summary: The Double Lifers have successfully thwarted the invasion by Hels Tek, but not unscathed. Now that Tango’s been outed as Bravo’s doppelgänger, the remaining threads are starting to unravel, and Jimmy suddenly finds himself fighting to save Tango from his own inner demons. Can their love survive the fallout?

A/N: This took a ridiculously long time to write and got way longer than I’d originally intended so uhhh happy belated holidays? There’s a lot in this one that I’m excited to show y’all so I really hope u enjoy it, pls reblog/comment if u do, it means a lot.

Also this chapter has been split into two parts bc Tumblr is a hoe with a paragraph limit, link to the second half at the end. And as always, this is part of a series, so the previous chapters can be found on my au directory here. - Aqua

~*~

from eden, part IX (act I) - no tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony

~*~

Somewhere in Double Life, a player kneels in a bloody wheat field.

Jimmy’s senses are flooded with iron. He’s regenerated enough health that his nose isn’t actively bleeding anymore, but he’s sure it’s still all over his face. As he finally pulls away from Tango, he realizes he’s smeared plenty of it on Tango’s shoulder. The blood on Tango’s chin and claws hasn’t fully dried yet, either. And through his slightly parted mouth, Jimmy can see it’s stained his teeth.

(Did you see what he did back there?)

(He was like an animal.)

(How long do you think he’s been keeping that in?)

Jimmy pushes the thoughts away. Focus on the here and now.

To be fair, though, the ‘here and now’ is a horrible place. The ranch is burning behind them. His eyes are burning from the tears and the smoke in the air. His throat feels tight and scratchy. He’s physically and emotionally exhausted, the weight of it dragging him down, sinking into the trampled soil beneath him. The singed edges of his wings are still stinging, but it’s an easily forgotten pain among everything else.

Jimmy hates crying. Especially in public. Really, nothing makes him feel more useless and pathetic than crying. But he has to admit, he’s at least a little calmer and more clear-headed. Now that he’s cried himself out, his awareness is gradually returning to the conversation going on around him.

“What in’a world was that about?!” Bdubs cries out, sounding absolutely flabbergasted.

“Yeah, who were those guys, anyway?” Etho asks, knitting his brows together. “How’d they get here?”

Joel makes a distressed noise. “They shouldn’t be able to open a portal here, this is a private world!”

“I know, I know, okay,” Grian gripes, “I’m workin’ on it. Hang on-”

“And what was all that nonsense about doggelpangers?” Scar pauses. “Uh, dop- doppabang-”

“Doppelgängers?” Cleo calls over wryly.

Scar hangs his head. “Dang it. Yes, that.”

“I dunno, but what if they come back?” Joel asks nervously. “What should we do?”

Isn’t that the question?

Jimmy takes quick stock of his surroundings. Grian is standing a little way’s off from Jimmy’s huddle, head bent down as he furiously scrolls through his communicator, the screen reflecting in his tinted glasses. Scar is hovering next to Grian, peering keenly over his shoulder, his bow held limply at his side. Both of them look a little roughed up from the battle, but alright for the time being.

Etho, still crouched at the spot where Bravo died, is searching through the dropped items. Joel is pacing in front of the broken portal frame and casting anxious glances at it, one hand gripping his sword while the other rakes through his hair, antennae twitching with agitation. There are a few scrapes and gashes between them- mostly superficial and likely to heal on their own.

Pearl’s wolf pack has been considerably thinned out- something Jimmy notes with a pang of guilt- but there’s still plenty of them milling about the place. With blood-matted fur and tucked tails, it’s clear they took a beating. Pearl herself must’ve gone, from the way they sniff and look around aimlessly, giving plaintive yips and whines. Scott is conspicuously absent as well, another hint as to the bonded pair’s fate. Jimmy’s sure they’ll be along soon.

Bigb and Ren are also nowhere to be seen- likely more casualties of the battle. Ren makes for a rather large target when in wolf mode; he probably drew a lot of enemy fire. And of course, Bigb would’ve gone with him. Box is quite a way from the ranch, Jimmy recalls, so it’ll take them a few minutes to get back.

Martyn is busy mining up the rest of the portal frame, seeming none the worse for wear. Cleo sits a couple yards away, one leg stretched out in front of her. The other one has been chopped clean off at the knee, and is clenched in their hand- but wait, it does that sometimes, Jimmy reminds himself before he can panic. The detached limb isn’t even bleeding, and she’s already pulling some string from her inventory to stitch it back on, seeming more inconvenienced than anything else.

Bdubs, across the field, looks no more beat-up than he always does. He’s fussing over his horse, snatching up stray bits of wheat to heal as it struggles to get its legs under it. Impulse’s horse, devoid of rider, has wandered off towards the barn- perhaps hearing the other horses inside. Impulse himself is crouched beside Jimmy and Tango, his golden eyes intently studying the collar that’s been locked around Tango’s neck.

Tango is still completely silent. He doesn’t move or give any indication that he’s at all mentally present, just kneeling idly in the dirt, expression blank, eyes distant. Nothing but static through their soul bond. He doesn’t seem to be seriously injured- most of the blood stains aren’t his. That realization isn’t as relieving as Jimmy wants it to be.

Grian clears his throat. “Right. First thing’s first, are we all still here?” he asks, scanning his communicator. “No one went through the portal?”

“Nah, all good,” Martyn calls over his shoulder as the final obsidian block pops onto the ground.

Etho has his communicator pulled up too. “Yeah, uh, just looks like Scott and Pearl got killed,” he reports. “Ren and Bigb, too. I’ll shoot ‘em a message, see if they’re alright.”

“Right, okay.” Grian chews his lip, wings ruffling. “And all the other fellas are gone?”

Etho nods. “Yep.”

“Okay-”

“G,” Scar cuts in, tugging on Grian’s sleeve, “you gotta respawn before that injury sets in.”

Grian shrugs him off. Only now does Jimmy realize he’s holding one of his wings closer to his body than the others, the one that took an arrow during the fight. “Gimme a second-”

”Um, guys?” Martyn says suddenly, pointing at the ranch. “Fire tick is on, yeah?”

Grian looks up at that, sucking in a breath through his teeth. “Hoo boy. Yeah, we need’ta get a ditch around the ranch, okay, or else the whole forest’ll go.” He casts a sidelong look at Jimmy, expression apologetic. “Tim, do you mind…?”

Jimmy shakes his head. “No,” he says hoarsely, “no, no, by all means. Whatever you need to… oh gosh, it’s all gonna go. It’s gone, isn’t it? It’s-” His voice breaks, and he quickly looks away, fresh tears welling in his eyes.

It wasn’t much, the ranch.

Only two floors- three counting the basement- and a bit tight on space. It wasn’t the most impressive build, not by a long shot. Certainly not when compared to the other builds on this world. It was something that would’ve taken two actually competent builders nothing more than a dedicated afternoon to put together. Plainly decorated, and comprised mostly of wood and stone variants. Nothing that’s particularly hard to obtain. And in all honesty, it was just a starter base; they were going to outgrow it sooner or later, anyways.

But it was theirs.

It was the scorch marks in the wood from Tango’s blaze rods, in the moments where his emotions got away from him. It was the rocking chair where Jimmy liked to do his embroidery, when he needed to unwind after a busy day. It was the auto-sorting storage room that Tango spent weeks fine-tuning. It was the small but cozy living room that Jimmy decorated with potted flowers. It was the kitchen that always smelled faintly of charcoal, and the wool rug in the foyer that came from their own sheep, and the bedroom that they shared with an east-facing window to let them watch the sunrise together, on the rare days when Tango was awake early enough to see it.

The ranch is burning, and there’s nothing Jimmy can do about it.

(Great. Gonna start crying again, are you?)

(What exactly is that going to accomplish?)

(Man up! Don’t be so pathetic.)

A gentle hand on Jimmy’s shoulder makes him look up. Martyn is there, sympathy glimmering in his eye. “We’ll save what we can,” he promises.

Jimmy manages a grateful smile, blinking away his tears. “Thanks.”

Martyn nods before straightening back up. “Etho, Joel, you got water buckets on ya?”

“Oh, yeah.” Etho puts his communicator away as he and Joel start toward the ranch, buckets in hand. “Yeah, here, let’s make an infinite source..”

“Right. I’ll get the ditch started, then,” Cleo chimes in, rising to their feet now that both legs are once again intact.

Grian makes an appreciative noise, still tapping away at his communicator. “Okay, so that’s done-”

“Grian,” Scar says again, more insistently. “You gotta-”

“Hang on!” Grian huffs. He looks up to meet Jimmy’s gaze. “Okay, so uh, I can’t ban them… but what I’m gonna do is lock the world down,” he explains, taking a few steps over. “No one goes in or out… not even through a backdoor portal. This is just a temporary solution, but it should do the trick for now.”

Relief washes over Jimmy. “Thank you,” he murmurs.

(Good thing Grian is here to clean up your mess, huh?)

“Hey, guys?” Impulse speaks up, making Jimmy startle. “Um, Tango… he’s not lookin’ so good.”

That’s putting it kindly. Jimmy’s heart tightens. “Right. We should prob’ly get him inside, um…” He trails off as he instinctively looks at the ranch, which is on fire.

Right.

Impulse gives him a comforting look. “C’mon, you guys can crash at our place.” He rises to his feet, calling out, “Bdubs, would you bring the horses over?”

“Yeah, gimme a sec,” Bdubs shouts back. He’s finally gotten his horse standing again, glancing around for Impulse’s. “C’mere, stupid- hey! No, don’t wander off…”

“You finished, Grian?” Scar asks impatiently, notching an arrow.

“Okay, okay, hang on…” Grian presses a couple more buttons before putting his communicator away. “There, it’s done. Now, I’m gonna do some diggin’ and see what I can find out about this. But, um…” His gaze sweeps over Tango, expression pinched. “As soon as Tango is up for it… we all need to have a serious chat, okay?”

The wording immediately puts Jimmy off. He can feel his feathers bristling, his wings flaring out almost unconsciously to block Tango from view. “Wh- hey, this wasn’t his fault!” he protests.

Grian holds his hands up. “Ey, I know, I know,” he says lightly. His lower wings sweep out and flatten into a sort of fan as he crouches; an appeasing gesture. “None of us think that, okay? But clearly those guys came here for him, so we need’ta figure out why and how if we’re gonna figure out how to stop it from happenin’ again. Alright?”

Jimmy takes a breath, letting his feathers smooth over again. “Right. You’re right, sorry,” he mumbles.

(Wow, so defensive.)

(Like you could protect him, anyways.)

(Have you no faith in your own friends?)

Grian glances at Impulse. “You got them, Impulse?”

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Impulse assures him.

Scar draws back his bow. “Any day now, Grian…”

“Okay.” Grian turns around with an exasperated sigh. “Alright, Scar-”

He disappears in a puff of respawn smoke. Scar immediately follows him, his bow clattering to the ground amidst the shower of other items.

Impulse exhales in what might’ve been a laugh, if he didn’t sound so tired. He turns to Jimmy. “Can you stand?” he asks, holding out his hand.

(Look, they all think you’re weak, too!)

Jimmy feels himself flush. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he says, his tone short. Ignoring Impulse’s hand, he struggles to his feet unaided, wings flapping about to help keep his balance.

And then he feels incredibly silly about it. These are his friends, for goodness sakes.

“Thanks,” Jimmy adds, to soften it. “But Tango, I dunno if he… I mean, normally I’d carry him, but right now, I think- I think I’d drop him,” he confesses. Already, the effort of just standing on his own is starting to fatigue him.

Impulse just nods, a knowing look in his eye. “Yeah, no problem.” Slowly, he crouches down next to Tango again. “Hey, Tango, buddy?” he calls softly. “Can you hear me? It’s Impulse. I’m gonna pick you up now, if that’s okay?”

Tango doesn’t respond. Carefully, Impulse gathers Tango into his arms in a cradle hold- which Tango doesn’t react to besides curling in on himself a little more. His breathing quickens for a few seconds before he settles down again.

“Sorry,” Impulse whispers.

Jimmy swallows. He’s never known Tango to be so quiet, so still. It’s incredibly disturbing to see. And gosh, he knows Tango’s pale, but right now he looks about as white as quartz.

The events of this afternoon were a lot for anyone to handle. Jimmy’s still only working with bits and pieces, of course. He knows that Tango originally came from a terrible world called Hels, escaped from that creepy scientist guy Dr. Atlas, and has been hiding out on Hermitcraft ever since. So it’s not surprising that Tango got a nasty shock when his past suddenly came knocking at his door- literally, in Bravo’s case.

But Jimmy also knows that Tango is quite tough. He’s not the type to shut down in the face of hardship- in fact, he’ll often go the opposite direction, with manic bursts of frantic energy. So for a reaction this extreme… either that collar they put on him is having a more drastic effect than Jimmy realized, or there’s something more to the story he isn’t aware of.

Before the collar dampened their soul bond, the fear Jimmy felt from Tango had been damn near overwhelming. What could those Hels players have done to him to elicit such a strong reaction? Jimmy dreads to think of it.

The sound of hoofbeats pulls Jimmy out of his musings.

“Here I am!” Bdubs announces loudly, leading a horse by each hand. “Got the hawsies all ready t’go- oh, hey, waugh- what happened to him?” he gasps, his horrified gaze falling on Tango, wide eyes going even wider. “Wha’ th- is he okay?!”

Impulse gives him a tired smile. “Bdubs, I know we’re outside right now, but indoor voice, please? I’ll explain later.”

“Oh, okay!” Bdubs immediately drops into a stage whisper, ducking his head sheepishly. “Right, right, right, right, right, sorry.” He eyes Tango nervously for another moment. “Jeeze, they really… okay, okay, okay, right. Let’s go.”

With an appreciative look, Impulse moves beside one of the horses. Shifting his hold on Tango, he hikes one foot up into the stirrup and swings onto the horse’s back, forked tail lashing through the air.

Bdubs follows suit, climbing onto his own horse before glancing down at Jimmy. “Uh- you wanna ride wi’ me, Jimmy?” he asks, still whispering.

“That’d be great, thanks,” Jimmy says gratefully. Just the thought of walking or flying to their base makes him feel like all his bones have turned to slime.

His own attempt to get on the horse doesn’t go anywhere near as smoothly. With someone else already in the saddle, it’s a clumsy maneuver, his flailing wings more of a hindrance than anything. In the end, Bdubs grabs the back of Jimmy’s shirt and helps haul him up. That only makes Jimmy feel worse. Bdubs is so much smaller than him, how did he manage that?

“Okay…” Bdubs glances over his shoulder as Jimmy gets settled. “You alright back there?”

“Yep, yep, I’m good,” Jimmy says quickly. He clears his throat. “Can we- can we get goin’?” He’s anxious to leave this depressing scene behind and get Tango someplace calmer.

Bdubs nods. “Okay. Uh- hang on tight, and you’d better keep those wings folded or else you- you’ll be blown right off’a this thing!” He turns to Impulse. “We go now!”

“Alright, let’s go.” Impulse urges his horse forward, and Bdubs swiftly follows.

The horses gallop away from the ranch.

Jimmy does as he’s told, leaning forward to put his arms around Bdubs’s shoulders and tucking his wings tightly against his back. The jostling of the horse’s stride isn’t kind to his aching muscles and bones, but he’s not about to complain. Right now he feels completely out of sorts- like a stranger in his own skin.

As exhausted as his body is, his mind is absolutely racing. He can’t stop thinking about what Bravo said, that Tango was to blame for his being in Hels. And Tango hadn’t really denied it.

From what Jimmy can recall from today’s chaotic events, Tango used to be in Hels, and then a portal appeared. He went through it to Hermitcraft, and somehow, that got Bravo sent to Hels. That seems to be the conclusion they’ve come to. And Tango didn’t know about it at first, but he’s known about it for a couple years at this point, and said nothing.

(How selfish of him.)

But it wasn’t Tango’s fault! He didn’t intentionally send Bravo there, and he only kept his knowledge secret because he was afraid he’d get sent back himself if he revealed the truth. That’s… really upsetting. If Tango didn’t trust the Hermits enough to tell them, after spending nearly a decade getting to know them, it’s no wonder he didn’t tell Jimmy.

Has Tango spent this whole time feeling like a fugitive in his own home?

And what is Hels, really? What kind of world doesn’t allow portal travel in and out? The way they’d spoken about it, it almost seemed like a prison. But created by who? And why?

What exactly is a Hels player? What does a ‘doppelgänger’ entail, exactly? Because if Tango is supposed to be an evil version of Bravo, Jimmy is clearly missing something, ‘cause he doesn’t buy that for a second.

Do all players have a Hels counterpart? Does Jimmy? Oh, now there’s a disturbing thought. Is there another Jimmy running around in a prison world somewhere, locked away from the rest of the universe?

Now that he’s aware of the possibility, he isn’t sure this is something he can just forget about.

But he knows his questions will have to wait. Tango is hardly in the condition to be discussing any of this- getting him recovered from his shock is Jimmy’s first priority. He’s about to ask how far away they are when two figures appear in the distance.

It’s Scott and Pearl, on the way back from their respawns. Pearl is preoccupied, intensely scanning her communicator as she walks. But Scott spots them immediately, nudging Pearl with his elbow and lifting a hand to wave them over.

Impulse glances over his shoulder at Bdubs and Jimmy. “Guess we’d better go see what they want,” he says as he steers his horse towards the pair, Bdubs following suit.

Pearl looks up at their approach. Her respawn must’ve taken care of any injuries she sustained from the battle, because she seems like her usual red-eyed self. But there’s an unmistakable air of anxiety about her- one that Scott seems to share, based on his terse expression.

“Impulse!” Pearl shouts, as soon as she’s within proximity hearing range. “You seen Tilly ‘round?”

Impulse eases his horse to a stop. “Oh, uh- she’s the one with the dyed collar, right?” he asks, knitting his brows together. “Yeah, yeah I’m pretty sure she was back at the wheat field.”

Pearl exhales heavily. “Oh, thank goodness. I- I lost so many dogs, I wasn’t sure…” She puts her communicator away, looking them up and down. “So uh, is everyone alright? Are… you guys alright?” she asks uncertainly, quirking a brow.

“We’re fine,” Impulse assures her easily. He jerks his head back in the direction they came from. “The others are dealing with the ranch right now, it’s uh… it’s a pretty big fire, I’m sure they’d appreciate some help.”

Pearl follows his gaze, eyes widening at the plume of smoke still visible above the trees. “Oh gosh, yeah, we’d better get goin’, then.”

“You alright, Timmy?” Scott speaks up suddenly.

“Huh?” Jimmy startles at being addressed. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Mmm.” Scott doesn’t look convinced, his sharp eyes studying Jimmy’s face before flicking over to Tango. “Is Tango alright? Where’d tha’ thing on his neck come from?”

Jimmy’s heart jolts. “Um…” He isn’t sure how much he should be sharing with the others, while Tango’s incapacitated like this.

Luckily for him, Impulse cuts in. “Don’t worry,” he says gently, “we’ve got it covered. You guys go check in with the others, okay?”

It’s not a very subtle hint, but Scott allows it. “Alriiiight,” he drawls, holding his hands up. “Just remember you’ve got help if y’want it.”

“I appreciate it,” Impulse hums, but Jimmy catches the flash of relief in his eyes as he turns his horse away.

“Yeah, ‘preciate ya!” Bdubs echoes as they ride off.

They ride in silence for a few moments, until they’re out of proximity range, before Impulse clears his throat. “I just think Tango would appreciate some privacy right now,” he explains quietly. “You know everyone else- they’d all want to help and see if he’s okay, but a big group would probably freak him out.”

“Ah.” Jimmy nods. “Good thinkin’.”

(Gee, Impulse is really taking charge, huh?)

(You’re basically useless.)

(He would’ve been a way better soulmate for Tango than you.)

The thoughts make Jimmy flinch. He hasn’t often felt insecure in his relationship with Tango, despite having known him for a much shorter time than the Hermits. But right now, his general lack of knowledge and experience in how best to help Tango has become glaringly obvious.

Thankfully, before he can spend any more time feeling sorry for himself, Impulse and Bdubs’s house finally comes into view.

They’ve added another floor since Jimmy was last here. Floor-to-ceiling windows made of light gray panes curl around one side of the building, continuing with the sleek mid-century modern design. The front yard has received some landscaping as well; a wide, circular path that frames a small cluster of custom trees and shrubbery before leading to the dark oak door, framed by neat flower beds on either side.

As they come up on the house, Impulse and Bdubs turn their horses along a branch of path that veers off from the main circle, taking them towards a small structure built against the house’s side. Made only out of diorite wall posts and a flat, deepslate tiled roof, it creates sort of an overhang, divided into two compartments with warped stem fence posts. Its purpose quickly becomes obvious as Bdubs hops off his horse and pulls a lead from his inventory, leashing his horse to one of the posts.

Jimmy swings his leg around to slide off the horse, dropping onto the ground with an ungraceful grunt. In the stall beside them, Impulse has carefully dismounted from his own steed, still cradling Tango in his arms.

The longer Jimmy looks, the more his chest aches with longing. So he looks away.

“Alright, let’s get inside.” Impulse’s voice is soft. He turns back towards the front of the house. “This way.”

Bdubs finishes hitching the other horse to its post. “Right behind ya!” he chirps. He pats Jimmy on the arm as he passes- an encouraging, or perhaps comforting, gesture.

Either way, Jimmy appreciates it. He knows Bdubs tends to diffuse tense situations with humor, or by maintaining an energetic demeanor. It might be mistaken as inconsiderate, in some situations, but he seems to know where the line is. Genuinely, Jimmy thinks he’d feel worse if Bdubs was suddenly walking on eggshells around him.

Pity is a suitor that won’t take a hint, no matter how many times Jimmy turns it away.

He follows Impulse and Bdubs around the front of the house. Bdubs has already scrambled ahead to open the door for Impulse, whose arms are, of course, full of Tango. He ushers Jimmy in after them with a wide sweep of his arm.

They’ve moved their bedroom upstairs at some point, it seems. The main floor is now a dedicated living space with a modest kitchen in the back, overlooked by a loft from the second floor. An L-shaped lounge made of quartz stairs is built into the conversation pit occupying the center of the room, surrounding a small fireplace. The glass panes encasing it go all the way up to the ceiling, but the sight of fire makes Jimmy flinch anyways- which he immediately kicks himself for.

(Jeeze, man, get a grip! What if Tango saw that?)

If Impulse and Bdubs noticed, they don’t comment on it. Impulse silently leads the way up a spiral quartz slab staircase, which opens up into the loft. Bdubs’s interior work is clearly showing here, with cozy seating nestled beside a custom bookshelf-console unit. Straight ahead past the loft is a short hallway with a couple doors on either side.

Impulse stops at the first one on the right. “We got a spare room here,” he says, nodding his head at the door.

“Not finished yet!” Bdubs adds hastily, though still making an effort to keep his voice low. “Or uh, heugh- furnished. I’m gonna- I was gonna do the interior, I swear.”

Somehow, the fact that Bdubs is concerned Jimmy will judge his lackluster interior decoration- despite everything else going on right now- makes Jimmy crack a smile. “Well, beggars can’t be choosers, ey?” he jokes.

“Oh, very freaking funny!” Bdubs huffs, but he’s grinning, too. He opens the door for them, and Jimmy lets Impulse carry Tango inside before following.

The room is, as expected, fairly bare bones. Quartz walls and a dark oak floor carry over the mid-century modern theme from the exterior, but there’s no furniture other than a double-wide cyan bed against the wall. A couple of haphazardly-placed torches on the walls provide the room’s only lighting.

“No windows yet, either,” Bdubs mutters, clicking his tongue as his critical gaze sweeps over the room. “I need ta- I- I still gotta figure out how to place ‘em, with the exterior wall and stuff.”

“It’s alright,” Jimmy assures him. Windows would make him feel a bit too exposed right now, if he’s being honest.

Impulse carefully sets Tango down on the bed. “Okay, Tango, here we are.” He straightens up, running a hand through his hair as he exhales heavily.

Bdubs crosses quickly-but-quietly over to Impulse, wrapping him in a hug. “You okay, sweetie?” he asks softly.

Impulse smiles down at him. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Don’t worry.”

“Okay.” Bdubs goes up on his toes to kiss Impulse’s cheek- and even so, he barely makes it. “I’m gonna go check on our boys, then, and see if the others need help with th- with the uh, the ranch. D’you- is there anything you want me to tell ‘em?”

“Yeah,” Impulse says thoughtfully, “maybe just let them know that we’d like to give Tango and Jimmy some privacy right now? We’ll let them know if we need anything, and we’ll chat more once everything’s calmed down.”

“Right, okay.” Bdubs glances at Jimmy. “That- is that good? For you?”

Jimmy is taken aback by the amount of consideration he’s being given. “Oh yeah, that’d be great, thanks.”

“Alright.” Bdubs casts one final look at Tango, trying but failing to hide his worry from those big eyes of his. “Alright, I- I’ll be back in a little.”

He slips out the door, leaving them alone.

Before an awkward silence can descend, Impulse clears his throat. “So uh, looks like someone got you pretty good,” he says, gesturing to his face.

“Huh?” Confused, Jimmy brings a hand to his face- only to jerk away as his fingers brush against his nose. Now that he’s actually paying attention, there’s a dull ache of pain radiating down the bridge of his nose, and underneath the still-sticky blood, he can feel a prominent bump where there wasn’t one before.

“Oh, right,” he murmurs. “Forgot about that.”

“Yeah, looks broken,” Impulse says sympathetically. “Need a respawn?”

Jimmy pauses. It’s difficult to tell when an injury will result in lasting damage- no one’s really cracked that particular scientific riddle yet. But generally, it’s understood that the sooner the respawn, the better the outcome. That’s why things like creeper explosions hardly ever leave a mark, since the death is usually instant.

More so, superficial wounds tend to be less likely to scar than deeper, more structural wounds. A simple gash will almost always go away after respawning- if it hasn’t already healed on its own- but things like broken bones can linger in the form of scars, joint deformities, and chronic pain. If he’s being smart, he really should get a quick respawn in, just to be sure.

But they’re on the Double Life world, and right now, his life isn’t just his own.

Jimmy looks Tango over. None of his wounds are serious enough to warrant a respawn, he only got a little scuffed up in the initial attack. In his current state, it’d probably do more harm than good.

“No,” Jimmy decides, “I… I can’t do that to him, not right now. He’s disoriented as it is.” He shrugs a shoulder. “Besides, I think it’s just the cartilage. Either it’ll heal on my next respawn, or it won’t, and it’ll just match the rest of my face.”

Impulse doesn’t laugh at the self-deprecating joke, simply offering a sad smile. “Alright. I’ll see if Martyn can bring some healing potions by once they finish up at the ranch, I’m pretty sure he’s got a brewing set-up.”

Jimmy’s throat tightens. “Right, thanks…” He smoothes a hand over the bed’s cover, setting his spawn anyways, before he eases himself onto the mattress. “Tango…?” he ventures. “Are you alright? Can you hear me?”

Tango has yet to move at all from where Impulse deposited him, back against the wall with his knees tucked to his chest, arms limp at his sides. He doesn’t acknowledge Jimmy at all- which isn’t anything malicious on his part, of course, but god does it hurt.

Taking a deep breath, Jimmy tries again. “Hey, Tango? It’s me, it’s Jimmy.” He puts a gentle hand on Tango’s shoulder, watching him all the while for any sign that he’ll startle or panic. “It’s over, you’re safe now. Are- are you hurt anywhere? Do you need anythin’?”

Still nothing. Somewhere behind Jimmy, Impulse makes a noncommittal noise. “Jimmy, buddy, I don’t think that’s gonna work right now…”

Jimmy ignores him. “Please, Tango,” he pleads, feeling his eyes sting, “can you just…” Idly, he lifts his other hand to wipe some of the blood off Tango’s chin. “Can you look at me?”

Unexpectedly, that gets Tango’s attention. He lifts his face almost robotically to look at Jimmy, eyes and expression still devastatingly blank.

The sudden movement startles Jimmy, his hand jerking back. And as it does, Tango lets his head drop back down.

An image flashes in Jimmy’s mind; Atlas, the doctor with the blood red gloves, grabbing Tango by the chin and tilting his head up.

(Oh, that’s messed up.)

(You’ve really done it, now.)

(Brilliant, just brilliant.)

Jimmy’s stomach turns. He scrambles back, away from Tango, his heart starting to pound. “Sorry,” he whispers, even though Tango gives no indication that he’s hearing it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

A hand lands on his shoulder, making him jump. Impulse gives him an understanding look. “I… think he just needs some time to come out of it,” he says quietly. “Y’know, alone. When he shuts down like this, there’s really nothing to do but wait.”

Jimmy finds his voice again. “Wait, you’ve seen it before?” he asks, creasing his brows together.

Impulse winces. “A couple times, yeah.”

“Oh.” Jimmy swallows, glancing back at Tango. “I dunno, I- I don’t wanna just leave him like this…”

“We can stay right outside,” Impulse says reassuringly, folding his arms. “It’s just… when he gets like this, I’m not sure he’s fully processing what’s going on. It’s like a defense mechanism. So he’s not gonna come out of it until he feels safe, and um… well…”

It’s not hard to catch his meaning. Jimmy bristles. “What, are you- are you sayin’ he doesn’t feel safe with me?” he snaps, which is so unfair because Impulse has been so helpful and so kind and he’s actually sort of right, but Jimmy can’t help it.

Impulse holds his gaze. “Not if he doesn’t recognize you.”

That sobers Jimmy a little, his wings sagging. “Oh. Oh, yeah, good point. You’re right.” Ducking his head, he swings his legs off the side of the bed and rises to his feet. “I guess he’ll be okay in here,” he relents. “But um, can we- would you mind if we put out the lights? It’s just…”

“Tango feels safer in the dark,” Impulse finishes, realization dawning in his eyes. “Good call.”

“Yeah.” Jimmy fidgets with his hands as Impulse collects the torches.

(Wow, he really knows Tango, huh?)

(Thank god someone knows what to do.)

(What exactly are you even here for?)

With the room now sufficiently darkened, Impulse holds the door open for Jimmy. Jimmy gives Tango a final look-over, his blank face now lit by the dim glow of his dampened blaze rods.

“We’ll be right outside if you need us, Tango,” Jimmy says in parting.

Tango remains silent as Impulse closes the door behind them.

As soon as they’re back in the hallway, all of Jimmy’s fatigue seems to hit him at once. He sways where he stands, shoulder bumping against the wall- the dull pain is easily ignored in favor of the black spots dancing across his vision. He squeezes his eyes shut, biting back a groan.

Fortunately, Impulse is there to steady him. “Woah, easy there.” He quickly guides Jimmy over to the loft to sit down. “Just breathe, okay?”

Jimmy takes a few slow, deep breaths- in through the nose, out through the mouth. When he opens his eyes again, the room is no longer spinning around him, so that’s a plus.

“Here,” Impulse presses something into Jimmy’s hand, “you must’ve worked up some hunger.”

It’s a golden carrot. “Thanks,” Jimmy murmurs, immediately starting to nibble on it. He probably does have food on him, somewhere in his inventory- cooked steak, most likely- but the extra saturation helps.

Seemingly satisfied that Jimmy isn’t going to pass out, Impulse sits down in the chair next to him. “How you feelin’?”

“Better, thanks,” Jimmy murmurs, shifting to fold his wings a bit more comfortably. He feels awkward and just… so out of place here. And Impulse is a nice guy, sure, but it’s a little embarrassing to have to be taken care of like a child. If it weren’t for Tango’s sake, he probably wouldn’t have accepted Impulse’s offer of help in the first place.

“Good.” Impulse looks him up and down, brows pinching together. “Jeeze, they really did a number on you. I’m sorry we weren’t there sooner, chat was chaos and we thought they’d be at spawn ‘til we saw your SOS.”

That comforts Jimmy a little. At least he managed to do something right. “It’s alright, not your fault,” he assures Impulse. “I mean, if you guys hadn’t come when you did…”

“Yeah.” Impulse nods solemnly. “That, uh… would’ve been pretty bad.”

Jimmy studies Impulse for a moment. Now that they have a second, there’s a question that’s been nagging at him. “So…” he starts, “how much did you hear, of what Bravo said?”

“Eh, bits and pieces.” Impulse shrugs. “Something about Tango being an evil doppelgänger from Hels.”

He says it so casually, like he’s talking about the weather. Jimmy’s stomach cinches. “Impulse…” he says carefully. “Did you… did you know?”

“What?” Impulse looks at him in surprise. “Oh, that Tango was from Hels? No. No, I never knew anything about before he came to Hermitcraft. But you know, I always kinda knew there was something… not great in his past. I mean, there were signs. I just figured he’d come from an anarchy server or something.” He knits his brows together. “I guess you… never saw what he was like, when he was still new, huh?”

Jimmy frowns. “Wha’d’you mean?”

Impulse makes a noncommittal noise. “It’s not my place to get into all that. But let’s just say… he’s come a long way since then. So um, looking back, it kinda makes sense.”

“So then…” Jimmy hesitates. “D’you believe what Bravo was saying? About what Hels are like?”

Impulse actually laughs- though not unkindly. “Oh, no, not by a long shot,” he assures Jimmy. “Don’t worry about that. I mean, there are players who think non-humans are bad, right? Like, there are still public servers out there that’ll ban Cleo soon as she joins, just for being a zombie.” He shrugs a shoulder, his forked tail idly flicking through the air. “Or me, for being a demon.”

“Oh.” Jimmy blinks, feeling stupid. “Right. It’s… so easy to forget, sometimes, that some folks still feel that way.”

Impulse tilts his head. “Well, not when you have to live it,” he says lightly.

“Oh. Oh!” Jimmy smacks his forehead. “No, no, right, of course,” he adds hastily, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it’s easy for you specifically to forget. Just, in general, I guess. ‘Cause most players don’t have that problem with avians- I mean, sometimes they think some of our traits are weird, sure, but uh- but it’s not the same thing, cause we aren’t hostile mob hybrids. Obviously. And- and none of my friends feel that way, either, so I just…” He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, I’m not makin’ a lotta sense.”

Impulse gives him a gracious smile. “It’s okay, I know what you mean.” He leans back in his chair, his eyes thoughtful. “I’ve gotten so used to Hermitcraft, sometimes it catches me by surprise when I travel to public servers and people act scared, or… distrustful of me. And that’s without even seeing me in ‘full demon’ mode. So uh, even though I don’t know anything about this Hels world, I don’t believe that just being from there would automatically make someone evil. I know Tango better than that.”

Jimmy’s throat tightens. “Right…”

Now it’s Impulse’s turn to give him a sideways look. “... you don’t believe what Bravo said, do you?” he asks, voice low.

“What?” Jimmy blanches. Despite himself, he feels his wings puff up with indignation. “Gosh no, no, that’s- not in a million years, mate, it’s utter nonsense!”

“Alright, alright, sorry,” Impulse chuckles, holding his hands up. “I didn’t think you would. But you know, I just had to make sure.”

“Yeah.” Jimmy sighs, letting his feathers smooth down again. “You’re a good friend, Impulse,” he says, glancing away. “Seems like you know what to do, here. He’s gonna need that.”

“He’s gonna need you.”

That makes Jimmy look up. “What?”

Impulse’s expression softens. “I’ve known Tango a while, now, and even though there’s been plenty of fun and good times over the years… this is the first time I’ve seen him truly content. Like, he just seems at peace in a way I’ve never seen before. You do more for him than you’ll ever know- probably ‘cause he’s too scared to tell you.” There’s a knowing glint in his golden eyes. “Emotional vulnerability, uh, isn’t exactly his strong suit.”

A bittersweet smile tugs at Jimmy’s mouth. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

Impulse claps him on the shoulder. “We’re gonna figure it out, okay? You guys aren’t alone in this.”

Warmth blooms in Jimmy’s chest. “Thank you, Impulse,” he says softly, “I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” Impulse returns his smile before sitting back in his chair. “Now, how about you get some rest?”

Jimmy’s heart jolts. “Wh- no, wait,” he protests, “I’m not gonna leave-”

“You can stay right here!” Impulse assures him easily. “Just close your eyes and rest a bit. I’ll keep an eye out, and wake you up as soon as Tango comes to, okay? But right now, frankly, you look exhausted. And I’m sure you’ll wanna be well-rested for whenever Tango’s ready to talk about stuff.”

“Ah…” Chewing his lip, Jimmy glances over at the door to the spare room- mere steps away.

Since he forewent a respawn, he has to admit some shut-eye would be quite welcome at the moment. The immediate danger has passed. And right now, there’s nothing he can do to help Tango but give him some time. Might as well spend that time resting.

“I… suppose you’re right,” he relents finally. “But you gotta promise you’ll wake me if anythin’ happens, alright?”

Impulse nods. “I promise.”

“Right, then.” Jimmy settles into his chair, folding his arms across his chest. He fights back a yawn. “Thanks again. I- I mean it though… any little thing…”

“I know, I know.” Impulse waves him off. “Don’t worry.”

“Famous last words,” Jimmy quips, closing his eyes.

Impulse huffs a laugh but says nothing else.

Silence settles over the room, filled only by Impulse’s steady breathing and the rhythmic tap-tap-tap of him typing away on his communicator. He’s probably updating the others on the situation, so Jimmy can rest easy. He’s considerate like that.

Jimmy would’ve thought it’d be hard to fall asleep. This chair isn’t exactly built for it, and as lovely as Impulse and Bdubs’s home is, it’s not the ranch.

The loss is still fresh. He already knows it’s gonna hit him even harder in the coming days. But for right now, the post-adrenaline exhaustion is finally sinking in, and before he knows it, he’s drifted off into the inky blackness.

~*~

A gentle hand on Jimmy’s shoulder startles him awake.

“Jimmy,” Impulse whispers, his golden eyes glowing in the darkness, “wake up.”

It must’ve been quite a deep, dreamless sleep, because while it seems to Jimmy that he only just closed his eyes, he can clearly see through the window that it’s been at least several hours. The sun has long since set; a half moon is rising in the night sky. That’s alright with Jimmy- he was afraid he’d have nightmares.

Rubbing his eyes, Jimmy squints at Impulse. “What’s goin’ on? Everythin’ okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Impulse scratches the back of his head. “I uh, I just heard a thud in Tango’s room so I went to check on him and- he’s fine, don’t worry!” he adds quickly, as Jimmy bolts upright. “He’s fine, he’s up, but he still seems kinda disoriented? Like, he’s conscious, but when I tried to go in… I guess I look a bit too intimidating,” he taps one of the curved horns poking out from his hair, “‘cause he growled at me.”

“Growled?” Jimmy repeats, raising his eyebrows.

(Well, that’s promising.)

(Round two!)

(Here we go…)

“Yeah.” Impulse gives a sad smile. “So um, I think you should go try and talk to him, if you’re up for it.”

“Oh.” Jimmy blinks. “Oh, right, of course.” He rises to his feet, shaking off residual soreness from his awkward sleeping position.

Impulse pulls a lantern from his inventory and holds it out to Jimmy. “Give a shout if you need anything.”

Jimmy takes the lantern. “Right, thanks.” Steeling himself, he creeps over to the spare room, knocking lightly on the door- which is slightly ajar. “Tango…?” he calls softly, poking his head into the room. “You okay?”

The bed is empty, covers strewn in disarray. Tango is crouched in the corner farthest from the door, his back pressed against the wall. Hunched over and breathing hard, he stares at Jimmy, his blood-stained face lit by the faint glow of his blaze rods. His pupils are dilated again, lips curled back to show his teeth. There’s no recognition in his expression at all.

(You cannot sleep, there are monsters nearby.)

Jimmy swallows. His heart starts to pound. “Tango,” he starts tentatively, holding the lantern up so his face is clearly illuminated as he steps forward, “it’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Tango makes a blaze noise deep in his throat; a haunting, hollow sort of growl. It’s unmistakably a warning.

Jimmy hesitates, wings shuffling uncertainly. How to get through to him? General reassurances don’t seem to be working. He needs to remind Tango of where he is, to convince him that he’s safe- in a way that only Jimmy would know.

He takes a breath. “Hey, rancher.”

Tango falls silent. Surprise flickers across his features, mouth parting, gaze sharpening. For a moment he just stares, motionless. Then he squints.

“... Jimmy?”

Oh, Jimmy could cry. “Yes, there we go!” he says encouragingly. “It’s me, it’s Jimmy. You okay, Tango?”

Tango’s breath hitches. He takes a single, careful step forward- then he halfs runs, half stumbles towards Jimmy.

Jimmy rushes to meet him, catching Tango before he falls. “Oh jeeze, okay…” Setting the lantern down on the bed, he lowers them to the floor, shifting so he can wrap Tango in his arms. “It’s alright, it’s alright…”

“Jimmy, thank god.” Tango clings to him just as tightly, face buried in Jimmy’s shirt. His claws dig into Jimmy’s skin just shy of being painful. “I- I woke up,” he gasps, “and the quartz- I thought I was…” He pulls away enough to scan Jimmy’s face, eyes wide and frightened. “Where are we? What- how long has it been?”

Jimmy knits his brows together. “Uh- we’re at Impulse and Bdubs’s place, and it’s been… several hours, I think? Half a day?”

“God.” A shudder runs through Tango. “That- that really happened, didn’t it?” He starts to breathe faster, his voice straining into that faint upper pitch that Jimmy’s come to associate with panic. “Oh god, I- I- I don’t- hhh, I c- can’t…”

“Hey, hey, breathe,” Jimmy soothes, rubbing circles on Tango’s back. “I’m here, you’re safe. It’s over. Just breathe.”

They stay like that for a while, Tango curled against Jimmy as he rides out the worst of it. He shakes violently, eyes squeezed shut, breath hitching as he tries to get control of it again. Jimmy’s heart aches for him- he wishes there was something more he could do to help.

But he knows from experience that just being here is enough.

It’s not terribly infrequent for Tango to have nightmares. Sometimes he simply startles awake at night, apologizes for waking Jimmy up, and goes back to sleep. If Jimmy asks about it the next morning, he brushes it off as nothing; just silly nonsense nightmares, the kind that are terrifying at the time but seem utterly ridiculous in the light of day. Nothing more than that.

And all this time, Jimmy believed him.

(What a fool.)

Jimmy’s only ever seen a couple nightmares cause a reaction as severe as this. The shaking, the shortness of breath, the panic. What helped in the past was simply holding Tango- offering a few reassurances, but mostly silent comfort. And of course, Tango never wanted to talk about those nightmares, and Jimmy didn’t want to push too hard. He’d figured that Tango would talk to him about it when he was ready.

(Fool me once, shame on you…)

Gradually, Tango calms down. His tremors cease, and his breathing starts to grow deeper. He’s still holding onto Jimmy, but it’s less desperate, now. More familiar. Jimmy curls his wings around them, as if providing another barrier, another layer of security.

After Tango’s been still and quiet for a few moments, Jimmy softly breaks the silence. “How much d’you remember?”

Tango takes a shaky breath. “All of it,” he whispers. “E- everything, I was- it was like I- I was watching everything happen to someone else, like I was outside my body…” He looks up to meet Jimmy’s gaze, eyes brimming with tears. “Jimmy, I- I’m so sorry.”

“What?” Jimmy frowns. “Tango, what on earth are you apologizing for?”

Abruptly, Tango pulls away. “I burned you,” he grits out.

“No, you-” Jimmy almost grabs him by the arm, but then thinks better of it. “That wasn’t your fault.”

Tango stares at him incredulously. “Wha’ th- what do you mean? Of course it was!” He rakes his claws through his hair. “I- I lost control, I set the ranch on fire, and you got burned.”

“That’s not the same thing,” Jimmy argues. “You didn’t do it on purpose, you were just defending yourself.”

“Doesn’t matter!” Tango throws his hands up. “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have gotten burned, true or false?”

(True!)

(He’s got a point…)

(Why are you arguing this?)

Jimmy doesn’t answer. “Look,” he says instead, “honestly, it’s not a big deal. I’m fine!”

“Well, you don’t look fine!” Tango says bluntly. Distress flashes across his face as he looks Jimmy up and down. “Your poor wings- and oh, your face! What, did- we didn’t respawn?”

Jimmy ducks his head. “I didn’t wanna put you through that,” he explains, wincing.

He can actually see the guilt in Tango’s eyes intensify. “Ohhh no,” he breathes, dismayed. “You- why did you…” Shaking his head, he fixes Jimmy with a firm look. “Okay, you- you need to respawn, now.”

“It’s not important,” Jimmy replies, just as stubbornly. He holds a hand out, beseeching. “Tango, please, I- I’ve been worried outta my mind about you. So much happened- ”

“I’m fine,” Tango says shortly.

“No, you’re not,” Jimmy insists, working hard not to raise his voice. “I mean, honestly, I- I don’t even know what that thing ‘round your neck is doin’!”

Tango shuts his mouth with a sharp click and glances away.

That sobers Jimmy instantly. Tentatively, he scooches a bit closer to Tango. His eyes trace the collar- it’s so deceptively simple, so innocuous at first glance. Just a ring of smooth, flat iron. But clearly, there’s a lot more going on; a single red light above the keyhole hints at a mechanism hidden within.

“Do you… know what it is?” Jimmy ventures, giving Tango a searching look.

Tango’s jaw tightens. “It’s wither rose.”

Jimmy blinks, taken aback. “What? But… we aren’t withering, we aren’t takin’ damage-”

“It’s not…” Tango makes a noncommittal noise, waving a hand in an aborted gesture. “They’ve modified it, somehow, I dunno. It- it’s not the full effect. All it’s doin’ is dampening my fire.”

“And our soulbond,” Jimmy realizes, his stomach sinking. “After he put it on you, I- I couldn’t feel your emotions anymore. It’s just… numb.”

Tango’s face is grim. “That’s what wither rose does,” he says lowly.

The certainty in his voice is… somewhat concerning. Sure, any player who’s been ‘round the block will have learned what it feels like to be withered, at some point or another. But due to the tedious and somewhat risky nature of obtaining the roses by way of a wither farm, most players don’t regularly encounter them. And as far as aesthetics are concerned, they aren’t the most appealing flower, so when they are farmed, they’re mostly used for mass-producing black dye or as the killing method in a mob farm. Not as decor or landscaping, where a player might actually touch the rose and be subjected to the wither effect.

Personally, Jimmy can’t remember the last time he touched a wither rose, as a player who doesn’t make a habit of farming withers or even taking on the boss fight. But the tone of Tango’s voice right now is the tone of someone who is horribly familiar with the sensation.

“Tango…?” Jimmy prompts quietly. “Is there… somethin’ I should know?”

Tango swallows. He’s avoiding Jimmy’s eyes. “I… I don’t wanna talk about it,” he whispers hoarsely. “Not right now?”

It’s almost a plea, and Jimmy’s heart tightens. “Okay. That’s okay,” he says gently, forcing down his disappointment; this isn’t about him. He rises to his feet, holding out his hand to Tango. “Here, come on, let’s… let’s get up on the bed, alright? It’s late, you need some proper rest.”

Tango hesitates, though he accepts Jimmy’s offered hand to help him up. “You need to respawn…”

“It can wait,” Jimmy says easily. He tries for a grin. “Honestly, I- I already knew I wasn’t exactly easy on the eyes, but I didn’t think it was that bad…”

“No,” Tango says quickly, “no, you’re not-” He makes a frustrated noise. “Your wings.”

Jimmy softens. “They’re just feathers. They’ll grow back.”

Sure, it might take a while if his follicles have been badly damaged, and his wings won’t be a pretty sight once all the burned feathers fall out. But most of his flight feathers are still intact, so in terms of places to get burned, it could’ve been much worse.

Tango huffs a breath, clearly still upset with himself. But he doesn’t protest further as Jimmy eases onto the bed, gently pulling Tango with him. After collecting the lantern so the room is properly dark again, Jimmy nestles under the covers, sweeping a wing out to lightly gather Tango beside him.

Tango settles against him, and it’s then that Jimmy realizes he isn’t as warm as he used to be.

He’s not cold, not by any means. But Tango has always run a bit hotter than the average player- a blaze hybrid trait that Jimmy’s quite fond of. It was the whole reason they first shared a bed, back in the early days of the world, and inadvertently plunged their relationship into new, terrifying depths. If it wasn’t for that moment, they likely would’ve danced around the issue for far longer, and been robbed of many precious days of happiness together. So even on warm nights, Jimmy will still cuddle up beside Tango. Even if he has to kick all the blankets off.

But with the collar dampening Tango’s fire, he’s been robbed of that, as well.

Jimmy swallows the lump in his throat and puts an arm around Tango, who curls into his side, head resting on his shoulder. Having Tango so close is immediately comforting. God, to think of how close he came to losing this, to never holding Tango again…

It’s scary. It’s incredibly scary. There are few things in the universe that can really, truly cause lasting harm to a player. Injuries can heal upon respawn, death isn’t permanent- except for worlds where it is, then they just respawn on a different world and start again. But if those Hels people had succeeded in taking Tango through that hacked portal, into some isolated prison world that Jimmy has no way of finding… he’s afraid that would’ve destroyed him.

Jimmy turns his head to press a kiss onto Tango’s forehead, right between the dimmed blaze rods hovering around his temples. “Goodnight.”

“Night,” Tango whispers back.

The room grows silent. Jimmy stares up at the dark ceiling. His earlier tiredness has up and left him, his mind racing, plagued by thoughts of what might’ve been. It’s all he can do to reassure himself that it’s over, that Tango’s safe and still here with him.

That for once, he was lucky.

(For how long, though?)

He isn’t trying to stay awake. And he isn’t pretending to be asleep, either, just laying quietly with his thoughts. But at some point Tango must think he’s nodded off, because only then does he start to cry.

It’s a quiet sound. Just the sharp inhale and exhale of breath. Jimmy might not have even known he was crying if it wasn’t for the way his shoulders shake, and the sudden dampness seeping into Jimmy’s shirt.

It takes all of Jimmy’s willpower not to console Tango, to hold him tighter and offer hushed reassurances. There’s a reason Tango waited until he thought Jimmy was asleep- he’s very much the kind of person who prefers to show emotion on his own terms. If he knew Jimmy was awake to witness this, he’d completely shut down again. And he needs this.

So Jimmy pushes down his own emotions and does nothing as his soulmate cries, trying not to move or start crying himself as the guilt for being so useless eats him alive.

(Sweet dreams…)

~*~

Morning comes, eventually.

At least, as far as Jimmy can tell by his internal clock. The room he wakes up to is still fairly dark- just a slim beam of light coming in from the hallway through the cracked door. Impulse must’ve done that to better keep an ear out for them overnight. Thoughtful guy. Tango is sleeping deeply next to Jimmy, and the sight is quite comforting.

It seems they’ve kept with their usual sleeping habits, even without a sunrise to greet them.

Carefully, without jostling Tango, Jimmy pulls up his inventory to grab his communicator. He can’t recall hearing it go off, but he wants to make sure there isn’t anything that urgently requires his attention. He’s surprised, however, to find a potion of healing; Impulse must’ve slipped it to him while he was sleeping.

A smile tugs at Jimmy’s lips. He’s long since regenerated his health, but the potion ought to help with his lingering injury. He downs the potion quickly, grimacing at the cloyingly sweet note of melon. It doesn’t take long for a cooling sensation to settle over his broken nose. When he gently probes at it, he can feel it’s still a little crooked, but at least the pain is gone.

Putting the empty bottle away, Jimmy digs out his communicator, squinting against the blue light. No one’s used chat lately or sent him any whispers- it seems they’re taking the request for privacy quite seriously. But there is the backlog from yesterday waiting for him. It takes him a minute just to scroll back to where it all began.

Bravo joined the game.

<Grian> ey??

AtlasSyn joined the game.

Tyrannicide joined the game.

Phantonym joined the game.

<Grian> EYY????

Helfyre_004 joined the game.

<PearlescentMoon> Ummm?

<Renthedog> What the heck??

CRIMETIME joined the game.

t3rr0r_b1te joined the game.

EbonyHelmentia joined the game.

baddomen666 joined the game.

<InTheLittleWood> WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!?

staluggmite joined the game.

PwrPlayz joined the game.

<PearlescentMoon> Hello??

XxSLAYERxX joined the game.

Vexed2theMax joined the game.

ApexGamer98 joined the game.

<Smajor1995> wait how is this happening

<PearlescentMoon> Raid?? D:

SheHelsSeaHels joined the game.

ne’er_do_hels joined the game.

<Grian> i don;t know??

Jaffu joined the game.

<Grian> theres no one at spawn???

<Etho> woah!

<SolidarityGaming> SOS RSNCH

<Smajor1995> oh no

<Renthedog> What??

<Smallishbeans> rsnch lol

<GoodTimeWithScar> G come pick me up

Tyrannicide was slain by Tango.

staluggmite was slain by Tango.

Phantonym was slain by Tango.

<InTheLittleWood> Wait WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

<Smallishbeans> NO WAY

<BdoubleO100> OHHHHHHH

<Grian> EVERYONE TO RANCH

<ZombieCleo> what is happening???

staluggmite joined the game.

Tyrannicide joined the game.

<Smajor1995> omw cleo

Phantonym joined the game.

<impulseSV> Etho, Joel, our place?

<Renthedog> BigB where you at??

<bigbst4tz2> coming

SheHelsSeaHels was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [hOtgUy]

EbonyHelmentia was shot by Smajor1995.

XxSLAYERxX was slain by impulseSV.

CRIMETIME was slain by Wolf.

t3rr0r_b1t3 was slain by Renthedog.

Jaffu was doomed to fall by ZombieCleo.

SheHelsSeaHels joined the game.

ne’er_do_hels was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [hOtgUy]

Tyrannicide was slain by Renthedog.

XxSLAYERxX joined the game.

EbonyHelmentia joined the game.

CRIMETIME joined the game.

Phantonym was slain by Etho.

t3rr0r_b1t3 joined the game.

ne’er_do_hels joined the game.

XxSLAYERxX was slain by Wolf.

Jaffu joined the game.

Helfyre_004 was slain by Renthedog.

Vexed2theMax was slain by bigbst4tz2.

Tyrannicide joined the game.

XxSLAYERxX joined the game.

Jaffu was slain by Renthedog.

SheHelsSeaHels was slain by Wolf.

bigbst4tz2 was shot by AtlasSyn.

Renthedog died.

Phantonym joined the game.

baddomen666 was slain by Wolf.

SheHelsSeaHels joined the game.

Jaffu joined the game.

PwrPlayz was slain by InTheLittleWood.

Helfyre_004 joined the game.

Vexed2theMax joined the game.

staluggmite was slain by Smallishbeans.

Helfyre_004 was shot by Smajor1995.

EbonyHelmentia was slain by Wolf.

PwrPlayz joined the game.

ApexGamer98 was slain by PearlescentMoon.

baddomen666 joined the game.

PwrPlayz was slain by Wolf.

Jaffu was slain by Wolf.

baddomen666 was shot by Smajor1995.

EbonyHelmentia joined the game.

Vexed2theMax was slain by InTheLittleWood.

PearlescentMoon was shot by AtlasSyn.

Smajor1995 died.

Helfyre_004 joined the game.

ApexGamer98 joined the game.

SheHelsSeaHels was slain by Wolf.

ne’er_do_hels was slain by Wolf.

baddomen666 joined the game.

Vexed2theMax joined the game.

Helfyre_004 was slain by Wolf.

baddomen666 was slain by impulseSV.

CRIMETIME was slain by Smallishbeans.

Phantonym was slain by Wolf.

Vexed2theMax was slain by Wolf.

t3rr0r_b1t3 was slain by Wolf.

ApexGamer98 was slain by BdoubleO100.

Tyrannicide was slain by Wolf.

EbonyHelmentia was slain by Wolf.

AtlasSyn left the game.

XxSLAYERxX was slain by Wolf.

Bravo was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [hOtgUy]

Grian was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [hOtgUy]

GoodTimeWithScar died.

Jimmy doesn’t know how long he spends looking at chat, reading it over and over again as he tries to make sense of it. All those Hels players came here with the express purpose of kidnapping Tango. But why? Dr. Atlas had said something about ‘getting back to work’ and a farm design, but what does that even mean?

Speaking of that doctor fella, he seems to have been the only one to get kills on the Double Lifers- the rest of them must’ve been preoccupied with Pearl’s wolves. Gosh, to think what her chat must look like…

But that’s something worth noting. Atlas didn’t waste his time with wolves, he went for Pearl and Bigb. He must’ve realized the wolves were Pearl’s and targeted her because of it. And the fact he went for Bigb instead of Ren, who was racking up the most kills... that means he was able to put together that they were soulbound, and he used that to get rid of the threat more easily.

Out of these Hels players, Atlas is clearly the one to watch out for.

Well, him and Bravo, of course. Though Bravo technically isn’t a Hels, if Jimmy’s understood it properly. But he’s certainly just as cruel and bloodthirsty as those other guys were, and he’s got it out for Tango the most. Jimmy can’t recall the last time he saw such hate in a player’s eyes, for any reason. And this is the guy claiming he should’ve been Jimmy’s soulmate? Unbelievable.

As if Jimmy would ever go for such a dense, hateful, entitled piece of-

“Honey,” Tango says suddenly, sitting up on his elbows, “you okay?”

Jimmy jolts in surprise; he must’ve been looking quite cross with his communicator. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he assures Tango softly, offering an apologetic smile. “Sorry if I woke you.”

It’s difficult to make out details in the scarce light from the hallway, but Tango looks much improved from yesterday. Even underneath the dried blood, the warmth has returned to his skin, replacing that sickly, pale pallor. His red eyes are sharp and alert- that’s a huge relief, as well.

“No, no, you’re good!” Tango says brightly. He leans over to press a kiss to Jimmy’s cheek. “Sleep alright?”

His tone throws Jimmy for a moment. Someone’s feeling better. Blinking, Jimmy puts his comm away. “I did, yeah,” he answers uncertainly. “You?”

“Yep!” Tango smiles at him; it seems a bit forced. “I uh- I’m all rest-ificated and ready to start the day. So, what I- well, I- I guess our first order of business, we should go take a look at the ranch, right, see what the damage is? Then we can do some resource gathering and start rebuilding, so we aren’t crashing at Impulse and Bdubs’s place forever.”

Jimmy pauses for a moment to process the words. “Umm… are you sure?” he asks tentatively. “I mean, we can go look at it if you want, but uh, are you- we should really focus on getting that collar off you first, don’t you think?”

Tango shrugs. He isn’t quite meeting Jimmy’s eyes. “Doesn’t bother me. Besides, we don’t have the key.”

Jimmy knits his brows together. “So what, we just... let it alone? Move on?”

Tango huffs a laugh- it sounds a bit faint. “Yeah, yeah exactly.”

(What an abrupt change of character!)

(Lying again, it seems…)

(How suspicious.)

Okay, this is definitely strange behavior. Considering everything that happened yesterday, Jimmy would’ve expected Tango to still be physically and emotionally wrecked. But instead, he seems rather keen to just move on, like everything’s normal-

Ah. Of course. Jimmy doesn’t know why he’s surprised.

“Tango...” he starts, “I don’t think-”

“Good morning!” Impulse hums as he pokes his head through the cracked door. “How we doin’, guys?”

Curse his timing. Tango, of course, immediately takes advantage of the distraction.

“Oh, hey Impy!” he says cheerfully. “Hey uh, sorry about earlier. You know, I uh, I was a little confused, and uh�� you know...” He pulls a face; overdramatized. He’s trying to make light of it.

Impulse seems to share the same realization as Jimmy. “Hey, it’s alright,” he says easily, though he keeps his tone in a lower register- more serious. Not feeding into the fake energy. “No hard feelings. Here, I brought some food.”

Tango takes the offered food without even a second of hesitation; a stack of golden carrots. “Of course. Thank you, thank you.” He quickly starts crunching on one, conveniently busying himself so he doesn’t have to say anything else.

Oh well, at least he’s eating. Jimmy gives Impulse a tired smile. “Hey, Impulse. Thanks again for lettin’ us crash here.”

Impulse returns his smile. “Yeah, of course, no problem. So um, I’ve just got a bit of an update for you guys.” He sits down at the end of the bed, expression sobering. “The ranch situation is under control, they managed to get the fire out before it spread to anything else nearby. So your pastures, barns, and fields are safe. All your animals, too.”

It’s easy enough to pick up on what he’s left out. “But the ranch itself is gone, isn’t it?” Jimmy says quietly.

Impulse nods. “I’m sorry. Most of what’s left is just the stone. I think the basement is pretty intact, too, but everything else…”

“Yep.” Tango, finished with his carrot, shrugs a shoulder. “Yeah, I figured. That’s what we get for building with wood, even though I’m super flammable and stuff.”

Jimmy gives him a sympathetic look. “It’ll be okay-”

“So,” Tango interrupts, avoiding Jimmy’s gaze as he gives Impulse an intent look, “uh- anything else?”

(Ouch! Testy…)

Impulse rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah. Grian wants to know if you guys are up for a chat. Nothing bad,” he adds quickly, “he’s just trying to figure out a solution and we’re just a little in the dark about everything. You can stick to the basics; if there’s something you aren’t comfortable telling us, that’s fine-”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Tango assures him. Despite his grin, there’s a hard edge to his voice. “Let’s do it. Call everyone up, we’ll have a nice chat at spawn or something. Let’s- let’s get goin’.”

Impulse pauses. “Well, if you want, we can have just Grian come over...”

Tango huffs. “No, why- let’s just get everyone on the same page, okay? Get it all over with at once.” He spreads his hands. “No point in delaying, or- or having to explain the same thing over and over again, right? I mean, everyone’s stuck here ‘til Grian lifts the lockdown, I- I’m sure they’ll wanna know why.”

Jimmy exchanges a look with Impulse. “I… I suppose,” he says hesitantly. “But are you sure you’re-”

“Yeah,” Tango says, “yeah, it’s fine.”

Impulse purses his lips, clearly fighting not to let his frustration show.

The sentiment is one that Jimmy shares. It’s obvious Tango is trying to downplay everything- and if that’s his way of coping, fine. But it really throws a wrench into the works when moving forward requires actually addressing what happened, and having an in-depth conversation about it. And this doesn’t bode well for long-term; they can’t just pretend everything’s normal, no matter how much Tango might wish it.

“Okay, I’ll let him know.” Impulse rises to his feet. “The bathroom’s at the end of the hallway if you guys wanted to wash up.”

Tango actually makes a face at that, dropping the facade for a moment. He really doesn’t like water. “Wash up..?”

Impulse winces. “You’re um. Still covered in dried blood.”

(I was wondering when he’d realize that…)

Tango blinks. “Oh. Oh, right, of course.” Absently, he reaches a hand up to scratch at his chin. “I should probably wash that off, yeah. I mean, everyone knows I’m a vicious monster but I don’t have to look it, right?” he laughs.

Jimmy’s heart tightens. “Hey, Tango…”

“No,” Impulse protests, “that’s not-”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Tango says shortly. “Thanks, Impulse.”

“Alright.” Impulse lets the matter drop, turning to leave. “Come downstairs when you’re ready.”

As soon as Impulse is gone, Jimmy turns to Tango. “Hey, so-”

But Tango has already hopped out of bed and crossed to the door, calling, “Hang on, be right back!” over his shoulder.

Down the hall, Jimmy hears the bathroom door open and close. He sighs.

This is gonna be a fun conversation.

~*~

CONTINUED IN PART IX, ACT II

#hels to pay au #HTP fic #hermitcraft #double life smp #my writing #man tumblr really threw a wrench in the works #i know this chapter got long and i use line breaks excessively but DAMN

283 notes · View notes

senp1i · 2 months

Text

GYM BRO’s? GYM HOES!

(SNSD Choi Sooyoung x Male reader) rewritten!! WC: 3440 + also if u previously read it then read after the keep reading, from then on ive added and changed the story

Sooyoung stumbled into the brightly lit 24-hour gym at stupid o'clock in the morning, unable to stay still in her apartment . With SNSD’s big summer/late-summer comeback announced, her schedule was absolutely shit lately between vocal training, choreography bootcamp hell, and a new diet that had her craving carbs 24/7.

Call her crazy, but a good workout sounded way more appealing than yet another hour tossing and turning in bed.

The location near their dorm was usually blissfully empty at ass o’clock in the morning too - perfect for looking like a disgusting post-workout mess without judgment. She swiped her membership card at the empty front desk, earbuds already queued up with a stupid EDM mix.

Rounding the corner towards the cardio equipment though, Sooyoung came to an abrupt halt.

Wait a damn minute...was that...a guy?

Working out alone in the free weights corner? Well crap, so much for having the place to herself, she thought.

Squinting across the room, she vaguely recognized him - one of their fan-sites maybe? He seemed just as startled to no longer be alone, nearly dropping the dumbbell in his hand with a awkward fumble.

“Oh shit! Sooyoung-ssi?” His eyes bugged wide, literally about to pop out, “Shit, sorry, I didn’t think anyone else would be here this late...”

Sooyoung snorted, shifting her gym bag higher on one shoulder. “You and me both, dude.” An awkward silence passed of them just standing there staring. *sigh* no use being a bitch about it, she decided. Gym’s open 24/7 to members, even nosy fanboys.

Tossing him a casual chin jerk goodbye, she headed towards the treadmills.

“Well don’t let me mess up your sesh or anything,” she called over one shoulder, queueing up her go-to cardio playlist. Setting her phone on the ledge, Sooyoung hopped up on the belt and started jogging.

The familiar burn soon had her zoning out - eyes fixed on her reflection in the big wall of mirrors, volume cranked enough to drown out any other noise.

Including the sound of fumbling weights behind her...as the same flustered fanboy now seemed incapable of looking away from Sooyoung's sweaty reflection. His eyes tracked her bouncing boobs barely contained in the old Nike sports bra, and down to those leggings leaving nothing to imagination with each pounding step.

((a/n: so for the sake of my sanity we’ll all pretend this is a treadmill and that the fila is a Nike, alright? Good.🫡))

Sooyoung noticed the attention after a few minutes, torn between rolling her eyes or biting back a smug grin. Fan service was part of the job after all - but she also knew damn well what she looked like working out in minimal fabrics. Didn’t mean she enjoyed feeling ogled like a piece of meat, but the ego boost was kinda nice.

Nearly 45 minutes and 5 miles later however, tiredness sank in as Sooyoung began cooling down to a walk.

Her leg muscles felt more like limp udon noodles at this point, chest heaving to gulp oxygen. Risking a glance behind her, she noted the fan seemed to be wrapping up his own workout now too - re-racking an impressive set of heavy dumbbells across the open floor space.

Sooyoung slid her feet to a stop on the treadmill, skin sticky with sweat. She bent down to stretch her quads and muscles briefly, back to the weight area.

When she straightened up from touching her toes, the guy was much closer than expected - openly staring with those wide dark eyes.

"Feeling pretty bold over here aren't we?" Sooyoung arched an eyebrow, unflustered. His mouth snapped shut audibly, face and neck flushing darker.

"S-sorry noona!" he stammered, glancing away and raking a hand through his messy black hair. "I just uh...wanted to say nice workout? You really seem like you know what you're doing..." His awkward compliment trailed off into uncertainty, still avoiding direct eye contact.

Sooyoung couldn't help chuckling internally at just how shy this random fan was at interacting with her one-on-one, especially with so much exposed skin on display. She had to admit she didn't exactly mind the shy flattery. After over a decade pressure-cooking in the entertainment industry, it was actually sort of refreshing.

"I thought maintaining stamina is important for those long music show rehearsal hours," she replied easily, straightening up with a slight groan as her abdomen muscles protest.

Noticing the guy's eyes follow the flex of her defined abs, she had to hide another smirk. Too easy.

"But clearly you know what you're doing too," Sooyoung continued with a glance at the impressive set of free weights he had been using earlier

"I don't usually see guys your age lifting that heavy without a spotter."

Pink still dusted his sharp cheekbones, but he met her gaze now without the prior dose of awkwardness at the indirect praise.

Rubbing the back of his neck almost shyly, his lips quirked upwards.

"I try to hit the gym pretty consistently. Can't let you idol types have all the good bodies, you know." Y/N murmurs with a smirk, a smile.. somewhere in between

Was he...flirting back now? Sooyoung thought as she cocked her head, curiosity piqued by this boost of confidence in him,

She noted that he really was very good looking, with feline eyes and a sharp jawline that complemented the defined muscles under his sweaty workout t-shirt. No wedding ring either she observed.

"Oh really now?" she challenged, arms crossing under her boobs subtly. Enjoying the way his dark, definitely interested gaze automatically tracked and traced her tits, she took a half step closer.

"Maybe you could...give me some tips then?" Batting her lashes innocently, Sooyoung gestured one manicured hand at the bench press station nearby. "My upper body strength is definitely my weakness in dance practice lately." She says,

Y/N looks momentarily caught off guard by the bold invitation, his adams apple visibly bobbing in a hard swallow. But then he regains his confidence, lips quirking in a smirk again.

"It would be my pleasure to help demonstrate, Sooyoung-ssi” he says with his eyebrows raised and the smirk plastered on

Sooyoung watched with interest as the handsome fan confidently adjusted the bench press bar to a heavy weight for her petite frame. Clearly trying to impress her. Smirking slightly as he patted the black vinyl meaningfully in invitation, she walked closer. Intentionally lingering longer than necessary in his personal space before fluidly getting into position on her back.

The barely there bra did nothing to save her from the cold of the bench against her mostly bare skin. Goosebumps rising, Sooyoung tilted her chin up towards her impromptu trainer hovering near her.

"Well show me what you've got Mr. Gym Rat," she prompted cheekily.

His appreciative gaze flicked down to where her nipples had peeked almost visibly through the sweat-damp bra barely covering them.

Clearing his throat, Y/N carefully guided her hands into position holding the loaded barbell now held above only inches from her breast .

Sooyoung noticed how his fingers lingered, thumbs sweeping the inside of her wrists.

"Right uh, form is pretty important obviously..." Y/N started out slightly unevenly. As he began explaining proper technique, one large hand pressed unnecessarily against her toned stomach - supposedly to demonstrate using her core muscles.

"Make sense?" he asked, unconsciously stroking along her defined abs with his thumb distractedly.

"Mmhmm..." Sooyong managed, hoping she didn't sound as breathless to his ears as her own thudding pulse. She chalked it up to a normal physiological reaction - an undeniably hot guy was freely running his big hands all over her pretty much naked skin. It had been awhile since she got this type of casual intimacy with her crazy schedule and long-term even busier relationship.

Noticing her physical response, Y/N's lips curved slyly. He leaned down close, caging her under the heavy bench bar. "Why don't we start with a set, see how you handle it?" The intentionally lowered voice raised involuntary goosebumps on her skin,

Swallowing, Sooyoung tried focusing on proper breathing and form as she guided the weight smoothly down. But with him hovering so intimately close, she became hyper aware of every inch of bare skin exposed to the gym air and his wandering gaze.

Each brush of his fingers igniting sparks over her nerves.

Biceps burning from exertion, she carefully guided the barbell back into its holders. Breath coming shorter, she couldn't resist looking sideways up at him through her lashes.

Heart kicking faster seeing pure lust in his hooded eyes. She should tell him to back off, that she wasn't some groupie to take advantage of. Should remind him she had a whole career, a boyfriend even - a goddamn celebrity boyfriend none the less. But the words died on her lips as his palm smoothed down her stomach again.

"I think you need another set baby..."

The risky nickname from his mouth sent a new flood of wetness between her clenched thighs. Recklessly she arched up into his arm, just enough to make her stiff nipples touch across his wrist. His low hum is satisfying to her ears.

Maybe she could blame it on the adrenaline crash later she thought, Or the fact that she hasn’t gotten laid properly in weeks thanks to her and Jung Kyung-ho’s overlapping schedules .

But right now, feeling so desired and drowning in endorphins was exactly what Sooyoung needed after endless brutal days of smiling through every nonsense using her idol-persona as a shield

So here and now, Sooyoung threw caution fully out the window. Grabbing a fistful of her Y/N’s sweaty shirt, she yanked him down insistently, crushing their mouths together. He responded immediately, large hand pulling too-roughly in her messy ponytail to angle her head for better access.

She bit and pulled at his lower lip sharply. "What's your name anyway?" Sooyoung asked against his mouth, just realising she had no clue who this fan who felt so good pinning her down was,

"Y/N..." he managed, kissing wetly down her throat. Hearing the breathless need filling his voice sent another slob of wetness straight between her legs.

"Hmm Y/N-yah..." Testing his name on her tongue earned a responding groan. His hands slid boldly up from her shaking stomach to cover her neglected tits, kneading roughly through the thin cloth of her sports bra. White burst behind Sooyoung's shut eyelids, back arching off the vinyl bench.

"Oh fuck..." she moaned out. The vulgarness is a stark contrast from her idol act coming out unfiltered.

Y/N’s dark chuckle against her hammering pulse made her inner muscles clench on nothing.

"That's it baby, tell me what you want," he murmured , thick fingers tweaking her hard nipples for emphasis.

"Ahh!" Sooyoung whimpered as the sensation went straight to her clit, hands flying down to roughly shove down the band of her leggings and underwear before she peeled her sweaty bra over her head. Tossing it carelessly to show her gorgeous bare tits with stiffen nipples. His pulse racing double time seeing literal fantasy material come to life right in front of him. "Holy fucking shit..." Y/N mutters, staring open-jawed,

"Like what you see?" Sooyoung purred, noting his stunned expression. Inching closer she took his shaky hands, guiding them onto her exposed tits. Hot soft skin filled his palms and Y/N groaned at finally living out countless fever dreams.

"Fuck yes... You're even sexier without clothes noona."

He tested their size and weight gently. Watching with wide crazed eyes as she bit her kiss-swollen lower lip on a moan when he thumbed over her nipples teasingly, properly now that her bra is off.

"Been wanting to get my hands on these perfect tits for years..." he rasped before ducking down to capture one of the brown peaks in his mouth.

"Oh god!" Sooyoung's shocked cry as he lavished attention on her breasts with lips, tongue and a hint of teeth. He smirked around a mouthful of her boobs.

"Sensitive here huh?" Tweaking her spit-slick nipple sharply in emphasis.

"Yes! Fuck..." Grinding against his thigh slotted between hers searchingly, Sooyoung fisted a hand almost too-tight in his hair. Urging him to give equal attention to her other needy tit.

The power rush left Y/N lightheaded. Never in a million years did he imagine his long-time celebrity crush would be practically humping his leg whining for more. He needed to be inside her like five minutes ago.

With urgency he flipped Sooyoung, bending her over the bench. Groaning reverently at the sight of her flawless bare ass and soaked panties.

"Fuck you have no idea how many times I've jerked off imagining this perfect ass up in the air for me." He emphasised the filthy words with a sharp open-palmed spank to one plump asscheek. Her answering moan urged him on. Gripping her slim hips bruisingly tight, he dragged his still covered dick along her slit.

"Please Y/N-aah... Want to feel you inside..." Hearing Korea's darling beg so prettily to be fucked sent Y/N into overdrive. With shaking hands he shoved down his boxers, dick springing free and almost smacking her ass. Groaning at the first glide of his angry red dick through slick soaked folds.

"Tell me how bad you need this cock baby..." He asks as he teases them both - rubbing his swollen purple head along her pussy but refusing to enter.

Sooyoung whined, circling her hips urgently. "Please, feel so empty... Fuck me oppa!"

That was all the permission he needed. Tightening his hold on her hips,, Y/N thrust forward - plunging into her incredibly tight velvet heat in one relentless slide. Balls slapping harshly against her clit.

"Holy shit!" They both choked out. Frozen for a second, from just pure bliss

Then Y/N was fucking into her hard and fast - years of suppressed longing fueling his brutal pace. The lewd slick sound of their smacking flesh filled the empty gym. Her sharp cries urged him deeper.

Draped over her arched back, he slid a hand down her shaky stomach. Through the neat patch of pubes to circle her clit in firm strokes.

"Don't stop, please...I'm so fucking close!" Sooyoung whined, sharply circling her hips with his still imperceptibly swelling dick nestled deep inside her. Y/N starts fingering her clit in fast strokes, wanting to push her over the edge,

"Be a good girl and cum on oppa's cock," he rasped directly into her ear. Licking along the line of her throat when she tossed her head back, mewling.

"Oh god, fuck yes I'm cumming!" Sooyoung wailed, vision white as she orgasms hard - cunt spamming erratically around him. Milking every last drop of cum from his buried dick as she shook through endless waves of dizzying twitches.

Y/N fucked her slowly through the intense aftershocks until her limbs went limp, slumping forward. Soft puffs of breath hitting the bench under her flushed cheek. Holy hell she looked completely fucked out like this - hair, a wild mess, his release leaking steadily from her well used pussy.

Unable to resist, he carefully pulled out his sensitive dick free with a wet sound and her whimper, making him groan again as even more juices dripped freely down her soppy cunt in globs now coating her thighs. Gripping her ass cheeks, he spread them eagerly - her slick puffy folds still shaking, twitching.

Ducking down without hesitation, Y/N licked broadly up the entire crease. Tasting the salty-bitterness of her orgasm mixed with his semen.

"Ohhh fuck..." Sooyoung jerked, overstimulated nerves clearly on fire. But he just hummed directly against her, the vibrations making her squirm as he straightened his tongue. Spearing deep into her pussy to taste everything,

He gripped her hips again to hold her trembling body still, continuing to spear his tongue relentlessly into Sooyoung's oversensitive canal "Oh god, oh fuck!" Sooyoung whimpered and gasped as the intense sensations crashed over her overloaded nerves. The lewd, slick sounds of his sucking filling the empty gym.

Just when her thighs started really shaking from the stimulation, he finally let up. Pulling back to admire his handiwork once more with a satisfied groan.

But he isnt done with his bias yet,, he pressed two thick fingers back inside her velvet heat. Smirking when she jerked and whined at that light penetration.

"Mmm , you'll take a little more for your fan ,right?" He purred slyly even as she shuddered through another weak orgasm.

Not giving her a chance to recover, he quickly lined himself back up. Nudging just barely inside once more.

Sooyoung blinked sluggishly up at him, lips parted and slick with spit, eyes filled with tears even. "Ohhh f-fuck I can't..." Sooyoung whined, still shaking through the aftershocks. But despite her pleas she eagerly pushed her ass back for more of Y/N's thrusting fingers.

"Mmm yes you will," he growled. "Gonna make you cum all night..."

The lewd sound of his fingers pumping her soaked pussy echoed around the empty gym. Her broken whimpers urging him on.

"Oppa wants that sloppy cunt nice and wet before you take this dick again."

Adding a third finger, he twisted them until she bucked sharply - abusing her g-spot mercilessly. "Oh shit! Oh shit don't stop..." Sooyoung babbled, rocking her hips desperately to get those thick fingers deeper.

Y/N chuckled darkly at how needy she was for it already. His free hand cracked down hard on one jiggling ass cheek, making her yelp.

"Fuck yourself on oppa's fingers just like that. Let me see you cum again."

Arching sharply, Sooyoung braced her hands properly - shamelessly riding his thrusting fingers now. The lewd sound of her soaked pussy sucking them in greedily echoed with her pitched cries.

Right on the edge, Y/N suddenly ripped his hands away - ignoring her scream. Gripping her hips tight enough to bruise, he rammed balls-deep into her still-spasming cunt. Bottoming out so deep she saw stars.

"OH FUCK yesyesyes!" Sooyoung babbled mindlessly.

Y/N set a brutal pace instantly - their slick bodies slapping together loudly. Obscene squelching noises coming from where their juices dripped down her trembling inner thighs.

"Yeah? Oppa's cock feels good pounding this tight pussy?" He rasped filthily against her ear. Her constant and almost musical 'ah-ah-ah's with every deep thrust said it all.

Flipping her easily onto her back not the nth time, Y/N hooked one slim leg over his shoulder - driving himself impossibly deeper. Loud smack of balls against her ass echoing.

Sooyoung's next orgasm crashed through her violently - back bowing off the bench as she wailed his name. Cunt spasming erratically, trying to milk his cock.

Not nearly done with her, Y/N manhandled her limp body into his lap , as he sat down on the gym’s vinyl flooring next - spearing up into her dripping hole once more. Sharp cries ringing out as he bounced her roughly on his dick by the hips.

"Yes yes fuck! Shit I can't..." Sooyoung babbled, still cum drunk and now full on crying. But her petite yet tall body continued riding him eagerly. Tits jiggling wildly with the force of it.

Reaching around, Y/N's thick fingers found her throbbing clit again. Rubbing messy circles as she squeezed almost painfully a fourth time. Her rhythmic contractions pushed him closer to the edge too.

But he still wasn't done using her gorgeous body yet.

Pulling out abruptly mid-orgasm, he smirked at her wrecked wail. Manhandling her to knees, he fisted himself rapidly - aimed right at her sweat-slick back curved so beautifully before him.

"Look so fucking good on your knees noona... Now tell oppa what you need," he gritted out, squeezing the life out of his own dick,

Whining and grinding her ass back desperately, Sooyoung glanced over one shoulder. Eyes glazed and burned into his.

"P-please...want you to cum all over me oppa," she begged prettily, pink tongue swiping across her swollen bottom lip. "Mark me as yours..."

"Fuck!" Y/N roared, fist flying rapidly over his slick dick. Her nasty plea instantly triggered his release. He painted her back and ass cheeks in endless ropes of white hot semen - marking SNSD's lead dancer Sooyoung as claimed, way more claimed then her man could ever mark her.

Chests heaving, he eventually tugged her fucked-out body upright against him. She mewled weakly feeling their mixed cum and her juices now dripping freely out of her loose fucked out vagina and down her thighs and his.

"Let's get you cleaned up hm?"

Scooping her up easily, Y/N carried his pliant bias towards the locker room showers....... [A/N: lol pt2 coming out soon , i might finally surpass 5 if not 7k words, it'll be a personal milestone, took down the previous one cause i noticed typos and added bs, i didnt spellcheck it or even read through it prior to posting like an idiot, anyway req: @snsdyb]

#kpop smut #snsd smut #girls generation smut #male reader #x reader #pov smut #reader insert #request #Snsd sooyoung smut #Girls generation Sooyoung smut #Choi Sooyoung smut #smut

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i520u · 4 months

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11:11 𓂅𓏲•₊˚

FIFTEEN. 18:21

It was a little weird to see Gyuvin—the Gyuvin—standing in front of your doorstep, on a random Saturday night, in a ‘I ❤️ NYC’ t-shirt and checkered pajama pants, his hair slightly dishevelled.

Honestly, it was a little off-putting to see him standing there, and you weren’t mentally prepared for this. You couldn’t even think of putting up a front, acting like your usual self that you would normally be around him. For that night, you were just you. As in, you were the raw version of yourself.

“Y/N.” Gyuvin said, his face stoic, and so was his tone—almost like he was running errands at your house. You raised your eyebrows in anticipation. Do you let him in? Is he planning to stay for long? Is he just going to ask for something inconvenient?

By the time you finished pondering on what to do, the lack of response from you, added with the silence between you and him had already turned too awkward for Gyuvin. His cheeks were slightly reddened from being completely ignored by you. He was almost annoyed, too. But he has to do this. For… for the sake of women. He has to.

“Y/N!” He says louder, you jumped a little at his booming voice. You stare at him, wide eyed. “Why are you yelling at me?” There was a frown on your face, and all thoughts of inviting him inside evaporated. “I need to talk to you.” Gyuvin answered almost immediately, like it was an urgent matter that cannot wait. “And I didn’t yell. You’re being dramatic.” He added, to ease the unusual, awkward tension surrounding you both.

You felt the pit in your stomach grow. You always hated it when people say things like this, when they leave you hanging with suspense. ‘Why do people do this?’ You wondered, there was no significance in having a pause between suspensive sentences, it’s not like you were both shooting a mystery thriller movie. “Urgently,” Gyuvin added, as if his previous words weren’t already enough to make your heart fall to your stomach.

“Okay, okay. Do you really have to make it sound like that?” you tried to keep a calm demeanour by cracking a little joke, but from the way your pupils shook ever so slightly, it was easy to tell that you were getting nervous. You raked your brain to remember if you’ve done anything that could possibly warrant Gyuvin to be standing at your doorstep on a Saturday night like this.

Gyuvin had been repeating the words, “may I come in” twice or thrice, but it seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. You were too deep in your thoughts as you pondered over something Gyuvin can’t quite guess—so he decided to make himself comfortable and pushed past you.

The slight nudge from your shoulders colliding once again brought you back to reality as you followed behind him, your apartment door closing on its own once you’ve no longer applied pressure to it. “It’s about Sungchan.” Gyuvin started off. He wasn’t planning on beating around the bush, the concern he had over you was genuine.

“Y/N, you shouldn’t hang out with someone like that.” He said with a sigh, his brown eyes bore into yours with genuinity. However, you weren’t quite reciprocating. Your eyebrows creased, you felt like the more he spoke—the more questions you had. “What?” You asked, your tone was slightly exasperated.

“Sungchan’s not a good friend to you–”

You weren’t exactly understanding why or when you had gotten so defensive, but you did. You could even say that you might’ve even overreacted, “what do you know?” You let out a noise that sounded like a scoff, but not quite. It wasn’t a question, even if you guise your words that way. Gyuvin says nothing, he feels slightly guilty for you; in that moment, he sees himself in you. As in, he remembers acting this way back then. “Sungchan’s a good friend to me. You’re just saying that because he has a questionable personality.” You added with a tinge of confidence in your voice.

He shook his head, “he calls you names, Y/N. He thinks you’re easy, he calls you a butterface, he thinks you’re a hoe,” he paused as he made a disgusted expression, “and he lets Jeonghyeon say even crazier things about you.” It was all too much information shoved down your throat at once, and you just didn’t want to believe any of the allegations were true. “Show me proof.” You said, and Gyuvin’s face contorted slightly, he stared at you like you’ve grown a second head. “Huh?”

“Show me proof. That he said all of that,” you repeated, you were dead set on your stance. “I didn’t bring my phon–”

“So you’re lying!” You accused him quickly. That did it for him, it’s like every last bits of patience he had for you had completely evaporated. Gyuvin’s relationship with you has always been just okay. It wasn’t anything newsworthy, just casual. He’s concerned for you as a friend—because he’d like to be a good friend to everyone. Though, as of this moment, he was starting to get annoyed again—like he used to be before you two became somewhat friends.

“I’m trying to save your ass, Y/N,” he groaned, “stop being so stupid and listen to what I’m telling you. Why the hell would I lie? What’s in it for me if I lied to you?” Gyuvin’s nose somewhat flared, and his cheeks were slightly flushed from being angry. “What’s in it for you to tell me the truth?” You asked back, which made him roll his eyes in return. “Are you… are you dense? That’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard.” He blurted out. It was slightly upsetting to hear those words come out of his mouth, but you were too angry to care about trivial things like that at the moment.

“You’re just trying to gaslight me into thinking Sungchan’s a bad friend. I know he’s not a good boyfriend, but you’re gonna stop me from being friends with him too? What are you, my dad?” You raised your voice, your eyes darting down to his hands. He had them curled into balls of fists, his knuckles turning white. He wasn’t quite angry, no. He was just annoyed. He was starting to think that he had been wasting his energy and effort this whole time. “He literally thinks you’re fucking annoying, he said it himself—and exactly like that.” He snapped.

“And I’m asking for proof, but you conveniently don’t have your phone with you right now.” You pointed out sarcastically, “Sungchan’s just misunderstood.” You added without much of a pause. Your tone was softer this time. You felt bad about your defensive demeanour from a few seconds ago. “Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking when I bursted out like that.” You said as you shake your head, just a little ashamed.

Gyuvin’s expression softened a bit, he was quick to nod his head, mumbling an ‘it’s okay’. He stared at you, silently crafting his words in his mind to make sure you don’t act like that again. “I know Sungchan means a lot to you, but… he’s just not a good person, Y/N.” He said, he attempted to soften his tone for you, too. Although he was still slightly on edge from just now.

“You’re better off without him,” he added, he inhaled quietly, “Minjeong and Yizhuo think so too.”

Your ears perked up at the mention of your friends’ names. Suddenly, it was all clicking—like the pieces were coming together. The answer to your questions as to why Gyuvin had recently followed Minjeong and Yizhuo on Twitter felt like it was being thrown in your direction. You also begin to recall what Sungchan had told you a few weeks ago when he had come over to your house.

You remember Sungchan telling you that guys like Gyuvin were usually insincere with their intentions, Sungchan saying that he knew this because he’s seen a lot of guys like that, like Gyuvin. You remembered him saying something like, “he’s probably just trying to land on one of you girls, so you should be careful.”

Your rage came back to you, and you glared at him. “Sungchan was right to warn me about you.” You said through gritted teeth. Seeing your change of demeanour again made Gyuvin internally sigh. “What the hell do you mean by that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“He was right to warn me. You’re clearly using me and my friends to get with one of us! You didn’t have to create this whole trash scenario in order to achieve your goal, you asshole!” You went back to accusing him, and Gyuvin just stared at you in disbelief. At this rate, he wasn’t sure if it was even worth it to keep talking it out with you. “If I wanted to get with one of you, I would’ve made my intentions clear! You think you’re some hot shot that I have to create a master plan in order to win your heart? Who the hell do you think you are? Just some miserable bitch that can’t get over her ex so she cucks herself as his friend instead.”

You took a step back, his insult hit hard. Too hard, even. You bit your lower lip slightly to stop itself from quivering in front of him. Maybe you were too quick to accuse him of such a thing, but what he had just said was pretty unacceptable to you. Then again, you can’t entirely blame him, you started the fight, and you can’t just expect him be nice in an argument. “Get out of my house, Gyuvin.” You said, your voice wavered just slightly. You prayed he didn’t hear it. It’s not his fault, but at that moment, you just wanted to blame him.

“Gladly.” Gyuvin said. He wasted no time moving, his long legs made his movements quicker than you thought it would. By the time you lifted your head up to look at him again, he was already out the door. Your apartment door closes by itself with ease.

masterlist | previous | next

SYNOPSIS -͟͟͞☆ gyuvin tells himself that he’ll be okay, and losing friends is a part of growing up. he firmly believes that having to move schools in a different city was the universe telling him to try again. he then meets you, and he hates you. he knows he should be thankful that you saved his life, but every time he sees you, he gets annoyed.

NOTE -͟͟͞☆ I’M SOOO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT A GAZILLION YEARS i was genuinely fighting demons omf… all that just for me to find out that palestine is STILL at war i’m sick and tired!! anyways hope this update was banging i missed u all

🏷️ ; @lluvjjun @p-romise9 @daydreamer5006 @jayujus @meoszn @lovefooi @mins-fins @annoyingbitch83 @ilovegyuvin @igotkpoops @purerehua @nonamenonamenon @yujmelon @flor206-blog1 @j4dorebooks @rksbae @alwayswook @idkwatodoanymore @livelaughlovelicky @dimplewonie @kdjdh @antwe @andsjun @soobiverse @jiseokzzz @countmekocho @minkkumaz @cowsidfk @softyminhee @raeewe @girlokarina @hanjisbeloved @jiaant11 @ilovechanhee @keilovr @bbangricz @444yizhuo @wave2love @iraa567 @jakahbot @satoreu @doobinnies @manduhao @onlyhoons @kyanmeai @beomibeom @poollabug @ilovewonyo @eternallyhyucks @ajybeo (let me know if you’ve changed your user and want to remain in the taglist! 🩷)

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sea-owl · 2 months

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You know I've been thinking of how the show uses sex scenes between the couples to help tell the story and they're not just throw aways.

With Saphne, it was a learning experience for them. Simon had been a rake. We saw him hoeing around but now I call it us learning about his teaching qualifications. Daphne was brand new to this and part of her journey was learning about her sexual side. As we saw she was a very willing student to Simon's teachings.

With Kathony, we didn't have much, but one could also look at it as them holding onto their control. Both Anthony and Kate refused to let go of that control so until they did they both kept their clothes on. There was a lot of tension which we could take as their control slipping despite how desperate they are to keep hold of it. When they finally let go of that control we see them enjoying themselves and each other.

Polin will be an interesting one. The love we've seen them both express has been up until now very innocent, and I would argue the show has gone out of it's way to desexualize Colin. I believe there will be two switches for both of them. The obvious one being the oh. Oh I love person faults and all. The second one and probably the first switch to be flipped will be one of desire. Once that switch flips, at my guess after the first kiss, we'll see both Colin and Penelope starting to head to a more mature type of love where they desire each other physically and carnally.

Benophie will be an interesting one to watch, too. Benedect has arguably been over sexualized by the show, which I'm hoping is by design. Because I can see Benedict being desexualized in his season. For Benophie, I see the show going down the same route as Kathony, and there will be a lot of tension but only one or two sex scenes from them. For them, it won't be a battle of control but rather morals. Benedict having none, and Sophie holding on tight to her's.

#bridgerton #saphne #kathony #polin #benophie

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misterblanc · 1 year

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do you feel me here?

lewis hamilton x fem!reader

summary: getting intimately reacquainted with lewis after he decides a work trip has kept you away from him for far too long

warnings: mature language, smut (dirty talk, unprotected sex, fingering, daddy kink), possible spelling and grammar mistakes and a rushed ending [18+ MINORS D.N.I.]

note: this is my first time writing smut...ever! inspired by sabrina claudio's "don't let me down". help a hoe out and leave feedback/comments and if you feel so inclined a like/reblog 💕 stay safe all u horndogs

words: 770

❣️ dirty thangs under the cut ❣️

"Good girl - that's a good fucking girl." Lewis cooed, warm breath fanning against your slick inner thighs as you rode out your orgasm.

You whimpered and quaked as he slowed the pump of his fingers inside your tight walls and peppered gentle kisses against the silky skin of your thigh where his head lay, your hand threaded tightly through his braids.

You'd lost track of how long his lean muscled body had been draped over yours, and quite honestly, you didn't care. If you didn't know any better, you'd think you were drunk, lost in the hazy stupor that you always fell into when you got in bed with Lewis. The only indicator that time had passed was the dim, inky morning light that had started creeping through the gauzy curtains of his hotel room.

Lewis rarely made extraneous use of the private jet at his disposal but after 8 days spent by himself at a hotel in New York on a business trip to attend to his growing fashion line, he had grown too sexually frustrated in your absence to take it anymore. Of course, the photos and videos he received on a nightly basis that you took of yourself weren't helping, either. Sometimes you played lazily with your clit, other times you fucked yourself roughly with a dildo in your shared bed, but every time you moaned his name as you came, your sweet noises going straight to his stiff, aching cock.

With a few phone calls, you were on your way. And that's how you'd found yourself across the country at his hotel. You had barely any time to say hello once he opened the hotel room door before he grabbed you by your waist and threw you onto the soft bed where you'd stayed since you arrived.

Lewis tilted his head upwards between your shaking thighs to look at where you lay above him on the bed. He thought you looked beautiful all the time, but if he had to be honest, he loved this view the most. Eyelashes fluttered against skin that glowed with a sheen of sweat that only multiple orgasms could bring, the baby hairs of your undone hair sticking against your forehead. His eyes raked over your tensed neck and arched torso, where he had sucked and licked your sweet skin earlier on his way to your aching cunt.

"You look so gorgeous when you're all fucked out, princess," he murmured, propping himself up on his elbows. "You've been so patient for me, baby...I think you deserve Daddy's cock now. Do you think you can handle that for me?"

You moaned at his words, thighs squeezing together against the soreness and sensitivity of your pussy. "M' don't know, Daddy..."

"You can give me another one, can't you baby?" Lewis purred, wrapping tattooed hands around your thighs to pull them apart again. "Don't hide Daddy's pretty pussy, baby. I wanna see all of you."

He knelt on his knees in front of you, stroking his hard cock. Your head fell back against the pillow at the sight of him smearing his now dripping precum along his length.

Wordlessly, you gave in and hooked your legs around his waist as he rubbed the head of his cock against your creamy opening.

"That's right baby girl, you know just what to do." he breathed out as he finally pushed in, the searing stretch of just his tip making you gasp. "Always know just what to do for Daddy."

He leaned down and you wrapped your arms around his neck, desperate to feel him closer to you. He groaned softly as he bottomed out inside of you and began thrusting, your wet cunt clenching around him.

"Do you feel me here, baby?" Lewis asked, reaching one hand down to press against your lower tummy where you could feel his cock buried deep inside you.

"Mmhmm, yes Daddy," you panted, thighs tightening around his waist as you felt the approach of another orgasm and screwed your eyes shut. "Please, don't stop!"

"Oh, love, are you going to come again? Are you gonna come all over Daddy's cock?" he asked, pulling his head back and gripping your chin so you were face-to-face again. "Say my name when you fucking come, princess."

Suddenly, the knots twisting in your stomach came undone and the only word you could speak was his name,

"Lewis!"

At the sound of hearing you finally moan his name, he smirked as he picked up the pace of his thrusts.

"Good job, princess. Rest up, because I'm gonna make you scream it again before daylight."

#my writing #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton drabble

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blackfangedreaper · 1 year

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SCANDALOUS

Prompt: "Mumu button."

Pairing: Luffy x Black!Fem!Informant!Reader

Warnings: Sexual content, Luffy and reader gets walked in on, cursing, grammatical errors. Mdni.

Note: Mumu definition; dumb/stupid.

Tags: @closet-degenerate @h3rfave @iin0va @avaricious-hoe @audreys-works @444katsuki

Orange hues reflected against the calm waves of the sea. Sunny was stocked up and ready to set sail as everyone was done with their shopping. It was sunset already and everyone was out on the deck they seemed to be searching for something or rather someone. Well not like you could help, you were currently getting your back blown out.

The left side of your body was pushed up against the window pane, shivers raking down your spine at the cold glass and your left was on the wall. Your breath fogging up the window as you peered down at the crewmates frantically searching for their supposedly missing captain, what they didn't know was that he was up here with you the whole time. Infact he never left the ship.

"Ok guys! You know what to do, be back before sunset." Nami said walking out of sunny and onto the pier. Robin trailing silently beside nami with her usual calm smile painted on her lips and an energetic chopper by her side. "Wahhh! Look a cotton candy stand!"

"Hai! Nami-swannn~" sanji twirled around before entering the kitchen to get his shopping list then barging out not a second later almost trampling on a half asleep zoro to catch up with 'his' lovely ladies. "Wait up! Nami-swan! Robin-chwan!"

"Ugh, stupid cook watch where you're going!" The moss head groaned walking off the ship to get some booze.

"Oi! Zoro-kun! You forgot your compass!" Ussop ran after him waving the bronze compass while franky and brook laughed as they trailed after zoro. Not knowing they forgot you both on the ship to yourselves and you know the saying... When the mouse is away the cats will play. I-Is that correct? Aish nvm.

Which leads to the beginning of luffy fucking your brains out. Honestly it was meant to be a sweet stay-in couples day but after cooking and eating with luffy you had a gossip/sunbathing session until he decided he wanted to watch the sunset in the crowsnest.

But after seeing how the orange sun rays bathed your bronze skin and the way the sun reflected in your eyes; highlighting your dark browns he couldn't take it, he wanted to see you in your full glory but with the sunset hues bathing every part of your naked skin. He first told you how beautiful you looked before smashing his lips against yours passionately.

And before you could blink you were pushed against the window and cool wooden walls of the crowsnest. Your shorts and panties pulled down and off of you, you felt the cool breeze brush against your already aching clit, whimpering and shivering when you felt luffy run his cold index and middle finger up and down your slit, your eyes almost rolling back when he pushed into your clenching hole.

Pushing his free hand into your shirt to grope your breasts as you sucked his fingers in immediately. Squelching sounds echoing around the empty room as he increased his pace going in and out of you relentlessly before pulling his fingers out and sucking on them making a thin string of saliva as he brought them out of his mouth. "Hmm."

Before you could say anything you heard the unbuckling of his belt and the feeling of his hot and large head prodding at your entrance before he slammed into you, your naked ass making contact with his shorts "Fuckkk! Luffy!"

"Haha! Sorry you just feel so good." He smiled then started to move, grabbing on your waist to match your pace with his as he fucked you against the window, pounding into you aggressively drawing moans and screams out of you as he watched ripples form on your ass from the force of his plows "I wouldn't do that if i were you." He said smiling at you.

You suddenly felt their presence on the ship. Shit. How didn't you notice earlier. Your eyes trailed after them seeing them walking around the ship as if they were looking for something or rather someone. if only they noticed the hand pressed against the window of sunny's crowsnest.

"L-Luffy- oh- wait!" You begged pushing back trying to move away from the window and fortunately he pulled out of you but before you could do anything he turned you around and pushed your back against the window fully then wrapped your legs around his waist before plunging into you again and this time his pace was unforgiving. "Ah- luffy! slow down!"

"Haha no thanks!" He laughed his hands smacking your bum, grasping handfuls and grinding into you. If anyone looked up now they would see your back and the tight grip luffy had on your ass through the window especially since your sun-kissed skin looked like a fucking beacon, you were hoping they either had bad eyesight or they weren't look up at all.

Unwrapping your legs around his waist he pushed your knees right beside your head and against the cool glass of the window and immediately you slapped both your palms against your mouth to prevent the guttural moan that was about to escape from your mouth. Turning your head, you peer out the window to see if anyone had caught you both yet.

You could feel every thrust he gave you now, his tip abusing your cervix as if to push into your womb, which would happen if he applied more force. "Look at me." Luffy demanded staring right at you, you could feel his gaze burning holes through you. You refused still looking down at his crewmates, watching their movements carefully but you were interrupted when luffy thrusted in sharply getting a muffled 'luffy' from you before he repeated himself. "Look. At. Me."

And you did, you looked right back at him and you regretted it immediately, his eyes were halflidded as he smirked at your appearance, mocking you by jutting his bottom lip out and saying. "Aw, look at you, such a mess." And you really were, your furrowed eyebrows were up and high in alert and your eyes were wide, tears brimming the edges of your lower eyelids.

You tried to keep your eyes from rolling back into your skull and let's not talk about how you were trying so hard to keep your moans at bay by covering your mouth to the best of your abilities but it didn't look like it was working cause your mouth was agape underneath, infact he would be viewing your ahegao face if it wasn't for your meddling palms. "Nnngh!"

He pumped into you feeling his release getting close, the thread in his abdomen thinning steadily as he took you against the wall. You were getting close too with the way you clenched around his shaft, your thighs shaking against his grip and hands getting tired of covering your mouth with no support to hang unto for so long, you could feel your saliva slipping through your fingers as you gasped at his increased pace. "mmfph!"

Your muffled moans and whimpers sounded like heaven to him, he groaned feeling you clench around him tightly. "Careful wouldn't want to break me now would you?" He chuckled bringing your weary knees to rest on his shoulder letting him press and dive deeper into you more. He moaned as he chased after both his and your release. You gasped relieved maybe they wouldn't catch you both after all. Too bad you jinxed it, cause after that thought you heard zoro's voice and his footsteps.

"Yeah, yeah wake me up when you find them." It sounded a little muffled but you could tell he was close. You looked at luffy panicked, shaking your head at him to stop but you knew he wouldn't, he had no shame. He started this and he was going to finish it whether he was going to be caught or not.

He wrapped his left hand around both your wrists jerking them away from your mouth and pinning them up the window before jerking his hips harshly, you bit your lips trapping the sinful sounds in your throat. This angered luffy, he didn't like this, not one bit. And he knew just what to do to punish you.

You heard zoro's footsteps coming closer, your heart thumping as loud as his foot steps, the hatch to the crownest opened and just as your eyes locked onto zoro's bewildered ones, luffy thought it was a good idea to palm your boobs, squeeze your nipple and bite the base of your neck right were your 'mumu button' was.

Now ladies and gentlemen the 'mumu button' is a sensitive spot found on a person that once touched, at that very moment all rational reasoning flies out the window. This causes the person to be under a very unbreakable spell [not literally, dumbass.] following only the orders of their now beloved like a mindless zombie, in short if luffy told you to sell your soul... you would with no hesitation whatsoever, trust me there's no getting out of this. You will be remembered brave soldier, you fought well.

Your head went limp as your eyes rolled back harshly into your skull, goosebumps littered your brown skin, your jaw dropping to release the loudest moan your vocal cord could allow, not only did this suprise zoro but luffy cause he's never heard you moan that loud, so loud he was sure the the whole crew heard you, he was so out of it, he didn't know he released your hands.

He hissed, moaning when he felt you tug and pull at his hair roughly due to the intensity of your orgasm. Luffy came right after you releasing thick rubbons of cum into you and with how you spasmed around him, he whimpered feeling you milk his cock. His eyes rolled back enjoying how tight and warm you were before burying his head into the same spot he abused with his teeth. He exhaled hearing zoro slam the hatch shut with a flustered expression.

Both your bodies heaving, goosebumps still present from your harsh orgasms as your chests rose in rhythm. Your head leaning against the window pane as you tried to calm your heart from beating so fast.

"What was that?" Luffy panted looking at you in amusement. "That has never happened before." He said before poking that exact spot only to get a yelp from you. "Luffy! Stop." You whined pouting before glaring at him then pulling his cheeks "you little shit!" You felt so embarrassed, zoro had caught you both. They obviously knew you guys fuck but it's different if they're walking in on you both doing the deed. "Ow! I'm sowwy! Staph! That hwurts!" Fuck you couldn't be mad at him, he did give you a mind blowing orgasm.

You sigh releasing his now red and swollen cheeks. Yelping when he pulled out of you, his cum pouring out of you in loads. Just how much did he cum? you felt so full.

"Ugh luffy! How am i gonna face them now!" You groaned covering your face with your palms before jerking them away at the slimy sensation of your drool.

"Huh? Who cares let's go! It's kinda hot in here." He pulled and buckled his shorts then proceeded to help you put on your clothes before seeing they were soiled. "Or just wait here I'll bring you new clothes!" He laughed running out of the crowsnest.

"Ughhh..." You then groaned sliding down the wall to the floor in embarrassment recalling how you came in front of zoro, looking into his eyes as you did so infact. This memory will forever replay during your sleepless nights as it has now joined your 'embarrassing memories' folder.

ONE PIECE; TREASURE BOX.

"Oi, marimo why is your face all red?" Sanji said blowing his cigarette fumes at the flustered zoro.

"Ugh... Fuck off pervert cook." Zoro groaned pushing past sanji, recalling what he had seen a while ago before walking away. "I don't get paid enough for this... Fuck- i don't even get paid!"

"Who pissed in his booze, tch! stupid moss head." He said watching luffy run past him, following him with his eyes but when he was about to call out to him he caught a glimpse of peach coloured panties sticking out of the back pocket of his signature blue shorts.

"A-Are those Y/n-swan's p-p-panties??!" He exclaimed falling on his knees and banging on the floor boards shocked at the thought that luffy once again gets pussy more than he does while trying to control the jet of blood from his nose that had started to propel him off the ship.

#monkey d luffy x you #monkey d luffy #mugiwara no luffy #fem reader #luffy x reader #black reader #luffy x black reader #informant series #one piece luffy #luffy smut #anime men #one piece #one piece fanfiction

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bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky · 2 years

Text

Lost Without You | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hi, friends! Ya girl is back with some sweet sweet angst.

If you like what you read do me a favor and reblog so that others can find my stuff 🥰

Warnings: blood, reader injury, Bucky missing you terribly 💔

——————

Bucky leaned against the wall with a coffee in hand, waiting for you to make your safe return. He looked around the empty hangar as he stirred sweetener into your drink, an unstoppable excitement to see you building in his chest. He hated being forced to stay at home and go through the motions without you. The apartment just didn’t feel the same without your ‘Hoe Shit’ playlist blaring on a Saturday morning or your uproarious laughter as you rewatched New Girl for the millionth time. And after two long weeks, he was more than ready to have you back by his side.

A deafening roar filled the air, signaling to Bucky that the quinjet was making its descent. He knew better than to greet you with coffee. The last time he’d done so, you’d jumped into his arms without thinking and sent hot coffee spilling all over both of you, scalding your skin and staining Bucky’s clothes. And as he chuckled at the memory, he opted to set your drink on a nearby crate of supplies, just in case.

He quickly raked a hand through his hair and tugged on his T-shirt in the hopes to look his very best for you. But he knew it didn’t matter to you if he showed up in a tux or a pair of sweats- you’d just be happy to see him.

The door to the quinjet opened and Bucky’s heart leapt into his throat, but it was Wanda who appeared first. A slight tinge of disappointment tarnished his anticipation, but he kept a smile on his face regardless. He eyed her as she exited the jet with her eyes down and her shoulders slumped, devoid of her usual cheery nature. This was not the Wanda he knew- something was wrong.

“Hey, Wanda! How’d it go?”

She didn’t answer. She didn’t even make eye contact. She simply walked past him and stormed down the hall, a flare of red following in her wake. Maybe she’s just tired, Bucky thought, maybe she’s in a bad mood.

But then Bruce ignored his greeting. As did Nat. And Scott. And Sam.

Bucky waited for you, watching the jet with a sharp intensity. He knew you were probably just tidying your things or talking with Clint about the mission, but an uneasy feeling settled in his stomach. It was an unshakable sense of foreboding that infected every cell in his body, setting him on edge. And after ten minutes without even a glimpse of his best girl, panic set in.

“Sam- hey,” Bucky caught up with his friend and tugged on his jacket, stopping him dead in his tracks, “what’s the deal? Where’s-”

“You need to talk to Barton.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes at Sam, not quite comprehending the situation. He made a beeline back to the jet and stormed up the ramp in search of Clint, finding him busily typing in his mission log.

Without lifting his head, Clint knew who had come to speak to him. “Hey, Barnes-”

“Where is she?” Bucky’s eyes roamed the jet, desperately searching every nook and cranny for your warm smile. But you were nowhere to be found. The jet sat empty, save for some supplies and a few extra weapons. A sharp anxiety ripped through Bucky when he eyed your lonely duffel bag sitting in the corner- untouched. Before Clint could even open his mouth, Bucky had him by the collar.

“Woah, easy-” Clint struggled against Bucky grasp- to no avail, “hey- I didn’t do anything to her. Hands off”.

An unsettling combination of fear and rage burned behind Bucky’s eyes, but a gentle hand on his shoulder calmed the storm. He breathed a deep sigh of relief as he turned to face you, embarrassed that he’d reacted so irrationally.

But it wasn’t your hand on his shoulder.

The eyes of Maria Hill stared back at him, cautioning him against hurting Clint any further.

“Can someone just fucking tell me where my girl is? Why is she-”

“She’s not here.”

Maria’s words didn’t make sense. Why weren’t you home safe with the rest of the team? Why did they return without you?

“We lost her. She was ambushed…taken,” Maria’s voice waivered at the mention of your tragic circumstance, “But they’ll keep her alive-”

“We think”, Clint added, earning him a swift kick from Maria.

Bucky’s world melted. Everything seemed to run together, mixing and blurring until it became a shapeless fog. Nothing made sense anymore. Despair punched a hole through his chest, suffocating him.

“This wouldn’t- this wouldn’t have happened if I were there…” Bucky’s words were barely audible, his ability to speak slowly failing as misery crept up on him.

“Aww, come on, man,” Clint clapped a hand onto Bucky’s shoulder, “You can’t put that on yourself-”

“I’m not, I’m putting it on you”, Bucky swatted at Clint’s hand, “I’m calling you incompetent. You were the lead on this mission- how the fuck did this happen?”

The second Bucky heard Clint utter the words “I sent her off on her own”, he was done. Without a word, he stormed off.

In his over one hundred years of life, he couldn’t remember being this scared, this full of anxiety and dread. His normally steady hands shook with almost violent tremors, and his heart threatened to beat out of his chest. He needed to find you, to get to you as soon as he possibly could. He needed to bring you home.

“Where is she?” Bucky almost yelled as he pushed through the door of Fury’s office, “I can be ready to leave in two minutes-”

Fury raised a calm hand, his demeanor far too relaxed given the circumstances. He leaned back in his chair and lazily pressed a few buttons on his keyboard. “Hmmm”, he shrugged, “Her tracking device isn’t responding”.

Bucky stared at him, waiting for a ‘but’ that never came. His hands slammed against Fury’s desk, the vibranium sending a deep crack splintering through the wood. Bucky’s hulking form loomed over Fury, casting a shadow over him completely- but Fury didn’t even flinch.

“SO? What do we do? How do we get her back?” Desperation coated every word from Bucky’s mouth. He stared Fury down with an unmatched intensity, panic constricting his pupils into microscopic pinpricks. He couldn’t believe how indifferent Fury was, how simply unbothered he appeared.

Fury waved Bucky off, “we’ll have a team on it tomorrow. But for right now, we-”

“That’s not good enough!” Bucky almost growled, his voice low and threatening, “I’m not letting her rot at some Hydra facility- I know what they’ll do to her!”

Fury finally stood from his chair and met Bucky’s eye line for the first time. A cold, aloof attitude dripped from his lips as he spoke:

“She’s not the first agent to go missing, Barnes”.

A chill ran down Bucky’s spine. He didn’t care if you were the first agent lost on a mission or the five hundredth- he was going to get you back. “She didn’t ‘go missing’- she was taken!” Bucky slammed his hand on the desk yet again, deepening the fissure in the wood, “One of your agents was taken hostage! She was ambushed and abducted!”

Fury sighed. He seemed annoyed somehow, like your current situation was an inconvenience to him. “Regardless, Barnes. It will get handled. We have people for this.”

He made a move for the door, only to be stopped by Bucky’s wide shoulders. Bucky’s sharp, hot breaths fanned Fury’s face, and he swore he could hear Bucky’s heart pounding in his chest. The normally quiet, reserved James Buchanan Barnes looked like a rabid dog, like some uncontrollable force of nature destined to strike at any second.

“Are we gonna have a problem here, Barnes?” Bucky knew better than to accept this as a simple question- it was a threat.

“Dispatch a team. Now.”

Fury rolled his eye, “I can’t. We don’t know where she is-”

“Then I’m taking a jet and going back to her last known location-”

“Like hell you are! You are a SWORD agent now, Barnes. That means I’m in charge- I green light the missions. And you have not been given approval to waste time and money on some goddamn wild goose chase for your girlfriend”.

It was only a few moments later that Fury had Bucky escorted from the compound, and enacted security measures to keep him out. The building was sealed against him, restricting him access to your last known coordinates, weapons, jets, and the names of your possible abductors.

Bucky was completely and utterly helpless.

He stalked toward the parking garage after being denied entry to the compound “until further notice”. And when he slid into the driver’s seat of your black Audi, the smoldering rage in his chest fizzled out; the passenger seat was empty.

You were supposed to be there.

You were supposed to hold Bucky’s hand while he drove, tell him stories from your mission, sing along to every song that came on the radio. He’d planned on taking you to Shake Shack for your favorite burger and fries, a post-mission tradition the two of you never skipped. You were supposed to arrive home together and immediately rip each other’s clothes off, followed by a long nap, a movie, and takeout from your favorite Indian restaurant. To round out the night, you’d share a shower and Bucky would hold you close under the warm water, telling you just how much he’d missed you. And finally, he’d carry you to bed and let you drape your body over his. You’d rest your head on his chest and fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat, like you did every night.

But Bucky arrived home alone. He sat in the car for what felt like hours- but didn’t want to go inside. He didn’t want to open the front door and see your favorite blanket on the couch or your grocery list on the counter. It was too much.

And so he made a call to Sam. He crashed on his friend’s couch that night, but sleep never touched him. He laid awake all night worrying about you, wondering where you were, hoping to god or any deity who would listen that you were still alive. And just as the sun began to peek through the curtains, Bucky’s phone rang.

“Nat?”

“They’re not sending a team.”

Bucky bolted upright, his mouth suddenly dry, “What- what do you mean? Why?”

“Fury said…” Nat paused, wondering if she should even tell him, “he said there’s ‘no point’ in sending a team after her. He doesn’t think Hydra had reason to keep her alive.”

He’d never been so furious before, so completely and utterly enraged. Goosebumps rose across his skin, prickling down his neck. This wasn’t the hot, smoldering rage that sent fire searing through his veins; this was a special type of outrage, spurred by deep betrayal. It nipped and bit at his skin like a cold, relentless wind, sending a sharp shiver snaking up his spine. His left hand formed a tight fist, so tight that the vibranium began to creak and whine under the pressure.

Nat didn’t want to continue, didn’t want to deliver the final blow, “Fury thinks she’s already dead…”

Nat knew Bucky too well, knew he was about to start spiraling. “Barnes, hey. I know she’s still alive, okay? There would be no point in abducting her just to kill her. Hydra’s too smart to kidnap a SWORD agent without reason. I stole a drive from Fury’s briefcase, some files from his office- we’re gonna get her back. I’ll meet you at your place”.

Nat’s soft knock was answered in an instant. She stood in the doorway, slightly bewildered by Bucky’s early morning energy, and snaked around him to gain access to the apartment. “I’m guessing you haven’t eaten lately, so…bagels”. She dropped the paper bag full of bagels on the kitchen counter, followed by a stack of “borrowed” files. Bucky poured over document after document, scanning every miniscule detail for a hint as to where you might be. Nat matched his intensity, only pausing to spread cream cheese on a blueberry bagel and practically force it down Bucky’s throat.

“I know you’re desperate to find your girl…just don’t forget to be a human. Okay?” Nat warned as Bucky walked her to the door after a long day of searching, “You can’t rescue her if you die of starvation first.” Bucky nodded along and promised to eat and sleep the appropriate amount, but both he and Nat knew it was a lie.

Days passed with no update from SWORD, nothing new from Nat, and zero help from any of the materials taken from Fury. Hopelessness grabbed Bucky by the ankles, pulling him down, down, down a rabbit hole of despair. Sometimes, he couldn’t believe you were really missing. He’d had dreams like this time and time again, in which Hydra stole you from his side in the dead of night or took you hostage to create a new Winter Soldier.

But this time, he couldn’t wake up.

A knock on the door pulled Bucky from his third pass at an encrypted document, and he silently cursed the interruption. He forced his ragged body to rise from its seemingly permanent place on the couch and opened the door, only to be greeted by his partner in crime.

“Jesus Christ, you look terrible…” Nat eyed Bucky’s messy hair and the dark circles that lay beneath his eyes. A ghostly pallor erased any hint of life from his face and a seemingly permanent scowl pulled his lips into a frown. He was a shell of himself, a ghost of the man he used to be.

Bucky quickly ushered Nat inside, almost dragging her over the threshold by her elbow. “What’s the update? Did you hear anything from Fury? I was looking at some of the-”

“When’s the last time you slept, Barnes?”

Bucky ignored her question. He continued about possible Hydra bases and locations they’d most likely use to hold hostages, but Nat interrupted him yet again.

“Hey- have you gotten any sleep? At all?”

“I don’t- no, not really. It’s fine, Nat. I’m a super soldier”, he huffed, “anyway, I was thinking that-”

“No. Not ‘anyway’. You need to take care of yourself. You need to eat. You need sleep. I bet you don’t remember the last time you drank water”, Nat rubbed the heel of her hand against her forehead. “I know you wanna find her. I get it- so do I. But you’re not paying yourself enough attention. How are you supposed to rescue her if you’re running on no sleep and haven’t eaten in a week?”

Bucky shrugged, “that kind of stuff isn’t important right now. I’m fine. I can catch up on my sleep after I get her back. When she’s home and I know she’s safe, we’ll eat Shake Shack together and I’ll sleep for three days. I’ve been focused on the intel you brought me- every ounce of my attention is devoted to those files”.

“Bucky, I-”

“Just stop! Okay?” Bucky’s ragged voice echoed through the quiet apartment. “You don’t understand- I’m dying inside. My girl is out there somewhere being subjected to some of the most heinous, sadistic forms of torture known to man- I’m not gonna stop looking for her so I can take a fucking nap.”

Nat watched Bucky’s tough exterior begin to crack and collapse before her eyes. He slumped into a kitchen chair, utterly dejected.

“Her glasses are still next to our bed. She has a half-read book sitting on the coffee table. Alpine sits at the front door every night, waiting for her to return. The ‘welcome home’ flowers I bought her are still on the counter- dead. It’s almost…it’s almost like she’s here. It’s like she’s everywhere and nowhere all at once.” He paused for a moment, allowing his head to drop into his hands.

“It’s so quiet here without her- it’s never this quiet…” Bucky’s voice cracked, “Our home has never felt this empty. I feel like the plans we had for the future were stolen from us- all the things we wanted to do together, the places we wanted to go. The devastation, the fucking sorrow…it hurts. It actually physically brings me pain. So I can’t stop what I’m doing to eat a sandwich or doze off. She’s- she’s probably wondering why I haven’t come for her yet. That’s why I need to find her- I can’t let her suffer anymore”.

Nat’s knees almost buckled. She’d lost people before, but never felt anything close to what Bucky described. She couldn’t imagine the hollow feeling, the ghostly sensation of being haunted by the things left behind by a loved one. Bucky was mourning you without a body to bury, and it was killing him.

“Okay, how about…” Nat rested a gentle hand on Bucky’s shoulder, “How about I make you something to eat? That way you don’t have to stop reading. And I’ll help you go through everything.” She dropped into the seat next to him, her own resolve failing. “I haven’t given up- you’re not in this alone, Barnes. I’ve been going by headquarters every day and pilfering through everything SWORD has on possible Hydra hideouts, but…I just haven’t found anything aside from what we have here. I’m sorry I couldn’t find more.”

She left Bucky alone at the table, setting her sights on the kitchen. It was obvious that Bucky needed to eat, but Nat knew in her heart the he didn’t have any groceries.

The pair sat together at your kitchen table, their eyes glued to confidential documents and profiles of Hydra leaders. They shared pizza and Chinese takeout, eating their meals without breaking focus. Nat slept every now and then, but only when her brain absolutely demanded rest. Bucky pushed on, powering through the debilitating exhaustion. He hated when his body shut down on him and forced him to sleep, even if it was only for thirty minutes. He was hell bent on finding any clue, any morsel of information that might lead him to you.

With Nat’s help, Bucky accessed the last file from Fury’s drive and dove in head first. He had his every hope and prayer riding on this final document. And his prayers were answered.

“Oh- shit. Oh my god, I think-” Bucky’s eyes snapped up to meet Nat’s, “Give me the coordinates of the last mission- the location where she was last seen.”

Nat scrolled through her mission log like her life defended on it, “umm, 44.2643 degrees north, and 109.7870 degrees west. Why?”

A wave of goosebumps rose over Bucky’s skin, “there’s a Hydra base at those exact coordinates. An underground base. Literally. It’s carved into the side of a mountain.”

Nat’s eyes widened, “So when Fury said her tracking device wasn’t responding-”

“It was responding! He just didn’t think it would be at those coordinates- he assumed it was left behind at the mission site and that she was taken elsewhere.”

In no time at all, Bucky and Nat were geared up and ready to go. They assembled a team as quickly as they could, calling Sam, Wanda, Scott, and even Rhodes to assist them in their rescue mission. Rhodes developed an elaborate lie, telling Fury that he was the one who’d found your location- out of sheer dumb luck. Fury granted him access to weapons and a jet, giving the mission the green light Bucky had been so desperate for.

Bucky’s heart thrummed as the jet sliced through the sky. He couldn’t let himself get his hopes up, wouldn’t allow himself to assume you were alive and well. There was still a chance that you were no longer at these coordinates, still a chance that you weren’t even breathing. He, instead, focused on the the joy it would bring him to spill the blood of Hydra operatives. He didn’t want to kill anymore, not after his years as the Winter Soldier. But Hydra was an exception.

Before Bucky knew it, it was boots on the ground. The team descended upon the secluded Hydra base, fully prepared to slaughter every last operative who stood in their way. Nothing and no one was going to keep Bucky from his best girl, not even god himself.

He tore down corridors and exploded through locked door after locked door while the team handled anyone who dare try and stop him. As he traveled down staircase after staircase with Wanda in tow, an eerie feeling crept across Bucky’s skin. The air felt heavier, more sinister. An intense dread greeted him as flashbacks of his time as Hydra’s prisoner washed over him. He couldn’t shake the uneasiness, the stomach-churning anxiety that the all too familiar surrounding stirred in his soul. The lights flickered and a chilling sound filled the damp air. It echoed off the stone walls and surrounded him completely, setting him on edge. It was then that he realized what the sound was: a scream.

Your scream.

Bucky’s body moved forward on autopilot, pushing him as fast as possible in the direction of your agonized cry. And when he reached a reinforced door with a biometric scanner attached, he knew exactly what it was hiding. The right combination Bucky’s vibranium arm and Wanda’s magic ripped the door from its hinges and gained Bucky entrance to the eerie room that served as your cell.

Dried blood stained the concrete floor a sickly brownish red. An alarming variety of wires and tubes wove their way in and out of your body. A gag lay between your teeth. Bucky shuddered. But you were still breathing, and that’s all that mattered. He holstered his gun and flew to your side, his hands shaking as he reached for you for the first time in weeks.

But as his hands made contact with your battered body, you flinched.

Fresh tears sprung from your eyes and ran down your cheeks as your muffled cries begged Bucky not to hurt you.

“She’s blindfolded…” Wanda huffed, “she can’t-”

Bucky hadn’t even noticed the heavy duty blindfold keeping you in the dark, keeping you isolated. He remembered not too long ago when an almost identical blindfold had adorned his face, preventing him from knowing what cruel and unusual torture was coming for him next.

The familiar sound of Wanda’s voice immediately sent your heart leaping into your throat. For the first time in what felt like years, you had hope. With gentle hands, Bucky slipped the blindfold from your face and pulled the gag from your mouth. He watched you squint and blink as you attempted to get used to the harsh, fluorescent lights. You couldn’t quite make out who it was standing before you, but the familiar glint of black and gold was all you needed.

“Bucky?”

“Hey, sweetheart…”

Instinctually, you tried to throw your arms around Bucky’s neck, but the chains that locked them in place refused to budge. A pained cry broke free from your throat as the heavy-duty metal dug deeper into your flesh, forcing a crimson river to spring from your wounds. Having Bucky so close and not being able to touch him felt like a cruel prank, like Hydra’s cruelest form of torture. Your heart beat wildly in your chest as your desperation for him grew. You needed him to hold you, to wrap you in his arms, to bring you home.

“Please, please get me out of here”, you pulled once again on the chains that restricted your arms and legs, making them rattle, “I need to- please, Buck, just get me out of here, get me out of here”. A strangled sob wracked your abused body as true desperation set in. Your breathing grew erratic and shallow, your chest rising and falling as you pled with him.

“Shhhh, baby, hey-” Bucky took your face gently in his large hands, “it’s okay, you’re okay. You’re safe.”

Bucky carefully pried the chains from your body, whispering constant apologies as you winced. He hated causing you even an ounce of extra pain after what you’d gone through, the mental and physical agony that you’d endured. Sharp grimaces yanked at your features as Wanda did her best to remove each wire and tube that had been forced into your skin. And as she worked to detach the last handful of devices from your body, Bucky finally got a look at you. He couldn’t believe how small you looked, how fragile.

There was a deep gash sitting just above your newly blackened eye, spilling blood down your cheek. Dried blood sat matted in your hair. Your jaw was a ghastly black and blue, and a matching bruise turned your cheekbone purple. Your split lip opened each time you spoke, sending a trickle of blood dripping down your chin. A ring of indigo bruises bloomed under the skin of your neck, sending goosebumps across the entirety of Bucky’s body. He clocked the burn scars and stab wounds, the seemingly endless amount of needle marks. Deep, bloody sores bore into your wrists and ankles, no doubt the product of your restraints. Your clothes were torn and bloodied, barely hanging on to your battered frame. But you were alive.

“Let’s get you home, baby,” Bucky slipped an arm beneath your legs and one behind your shoulders, “I know you’re in a lot of pain- just tell me if I hurt you, okay?” An excruciating ache flooded your skull as you tried to nod, but Bucky assured you that you didn’t have to respond. He slowly scooped you up and pulled you into his chest, carrying you as close to his body as physically possible. He relished in the sensation of your body in his arms, your breath on his neck. An anxious shaking rattled your broken body as you tried to dig yourself as deeply into Bucky’s grasp as you could.

Finally, after weeks of agony, Bucky let himself exhale.

He carried you to the jet and held you in his lap the entire way home, refusing to let you go for even a second. He couldn’t believe he’d almost lost you, that you’d almost vanished forever. The deep, aching pit in his chest left behind by your absence slowly began to heal with each breath you took. Bucky knew you were tired, that you needed to rest as you lay limp in his arms, but he couldn’t stop himself. He told you he loved you- over and over again. He told you how much he’d missed you, how sorry he was that it took him so long to find you. He needed you to know, right then and there, that he never stopped looking for you.

“I lov- I love you, t-too, Buck…”

An intense warmth flooded Bucky’s senses as he reveled in the words; there’d been a time when he feared that he’d never hear you say ‘I love you’ again.

Sleep evaded you the entire time you’d been held hostage. Between the anxiety and the sheer terror of being a Hydra captive, your body refused to rest. It simply wouldn’t allow you to close your eyes for more than a second. The fear kept you awake, utterly wired. It didn’t matter how much blood you lost or how much pain you endured, the reprieve granted by sleep never came.

But with Bucky’s arms were around you, safely holding you against his body, your fear melted away. You allowed the exhaustion to drag you under, bidding your hypervigilance a dieu. And with you resting safely in his lap, Bucky’s head fell back against the seat. And for the first time in over a week, Bucky slept.

The sense of peace brought on by your rescue was violently ripped from Bucky as you were snatched from his arms. He knew the med team at the compound was taking excellent care of you, assessing and treating your every wound. But he couldn’t keep his anxiety at bay. After being away from you, fearing for your life every single day, being forced to give you up almost felt cruel. His arms lay empty and aching, desperate to hold you again.

His anxious form paced back and forth outside your room, straining for any word on your condition. He almost couldn’t take the apprehension, the utter agony of waiting. With every second that passed, Bucky’s heart sank further and further.

“It’s taking too long-” Bucky’s voice waiver, “Something’s wrong. What if she-”

“Hey, she’s okay…” Nat gave his arm a light, reassuring squeeze, “they’re just being thorough. Take a seat. Rest. Do something to distract yourself. You know what they say about a watched pot…”

Rest was not an option. Bucky’s mind traveled to the darkest places imaginable. He assumed your injuries to be fatal or that you’d been the test subject for some new Winter Soldier mind-control program. He just wanted his girl back, wanted you all to himself. The two of you had so much to catch up on, so many moments to make up for.

He continued downward in his dark, horrifying spiral- until an idea exploded out of his fatigued mind. He ripped his phone from his pocket, his fingers flying furiously over his keyboard. He needed this to be perfect.

And just as your doctor assured Bucky that you’d make a full recovery and granted him entrance to your room, Bucky’s brilliant idea came to fruition. He grabbed your surprise from the delivery driver with a gigantic “thank you” and high-tailed it to your room, desperate to see his best girl.

“Hey, doll…” he kept his voice light and gentle as he pushed through the door, “how are you feeling?” It took everything in him not to launch himself at you, to climb into your bed and mold his body around yours.

Seeing Bucky just feet away numbed the near insufferable pain that plagued you. After your first few days without rescue, you were certain that you’d never see Bucky again. You grieved him, mourned him, almost as though he’d died. A stark emptiness slowly ripped you to shreds, and you resolved that dying under Hydra was better than being kept from the man you loved. An agonized groan left your lips as you raised your arms, making weak grabby hands at Bucky.

It was then that you noticed the peculiar way he was standing. You narrowed your eyes at him, wondering what exactly he held obscured behind his back, “Barnes…what are you up to?”

Bucky made his way to your side and carefully took a seat on your bed, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. As his large arms slowly unwound from behind his back, your lips were yanked upward into your first smile in what felt like centuries. The familiar brown bag from Shake Shack almost brought tears to your eyes- you couldn’t believe that after everything that happened, Bucky remembered.

“Post-mission Shake Shack is a revered institution! And you’re back now, so…” Bucky’s hands dove into the bag and thrust a burger and fries into your hands, “welcome home, baby”.

———————-

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