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blackjackkent · 1 month

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OK, doing things a smidge out of my usual order and going straight to get Karlach now (and Astarion) now that we've talked to Zorru; we'll come back and chat with Nettie and get hyped up on goblin shenanigans later. Rakha is enthused about helping Wyll killkillkill so finding Karlach has shot to the top of the priority list. Hopefully I can figure out a reason for Karlach not to actually die. :P

It is a bit of a walk to get Karlach, though, so there's a bit of other stuff to run into on the way, starting with these lovely people:

A dwarf lies in the roadway, bleeding out of a thick, gaping wound in his chest. Rakha can taste the blood on her tongue, in her brain. The man is dying. The man and woman standing next to him are both frantic with fear.

"You're a True Soul!" the woman is saying desperately as Rakha draws within earshot. "You can't die! Please stay with us!"

"I don't think he's conscious!" the man cries. "Can you hear us, Ed?"

The woman's head snaps up hearing the group's approach behind them, and she steps back defensively, rounding on Rakha. "You! Not a step closer!"

Rakha halts. It is a struggle to survey the situation analytically with that smell of blood in the air, and though the tadpole squirms excitedly in her head, she lacks quite the energy after the mental tussle with Wyll earlier to grasp at any thoughts from the strange group - to gauge whether they are friend or foe.

Information the old-fashioned way, then.

"What happened to your friend?" she asks curtly.

"An owlbear," the man says desperately. "Please, do you have any--"

"Shut up, Andrick!" the woman snaps. She's warier than the man, and looks at Rakha cautiously. "Do you serve the Absolute?" she asks.

Rakha stares at her, baffled. These words don't scan together in any context she's familiar with. She can hear the capital letter on the word. She can hear that she is being asked her allegiance. But she does not understand.

Who is the Absolute?

The silence is broken by the dying man on the ground, who rolls his head slightly to the side with what seems monumental effort and stares up in to Rakha's eyes.

"Wait..."

Narrator: The injured man locks eyes with you. A familiar squirming churns in your head.

Rakha sinks to her knees, keeping her eyes locked on the man. Is this another like them, then? Another who was caught on the nautiloid and infected? Another who might have answers?

Hold his stare.

Narrator: Your minds intertwine. You see his siblings - Andrick and Brynna. New recruits. Yours to shepherd.

She feels the dying man's voice echo in her mind. "Protect them..." And then, out loud to the siblings: "She is a True Soul. Mind her. She will-- she-- she..."

She is still connected and feels it, the moment when he dies, and her body gives a deep, involuntary shudder. The blood-pulse pounds in the back of her head with an intensity that for a moment blocks out all thought. She reaches out, puts a hand on the corpse's chest, rests her fingertips in the still-hot blood of the wound. For a moment there is again that flash of memory, of a thousand other corpses, a thousand other drops of blood staining her hands.

The woman - Brynna - is staring at her. "You're... you're a True Soul," she whispers unsteadily. She has the air of someone desperately trying to appear older and more confident than she is. "Edowin-- our brother, he was chosen. Like you. Do you have orders for us? We were reporting to Edowin."

Rakha comes back to herself slowly. The words don't make sense. Orders? Who are these people? Who is this Absolute they serve? What is a-- "True Soul?" she asks hoarsely.

"What?" Andrick asks, as puzzled at her question as she is in the asking of it. "Are you-- are you testing us?"

"A True Soul, like you, has been chosen by the Absolute," Brynna says. She is reciting something she has learned by heart; her voice takes on a rote quality. "You speak with Her voice. Your words are Her command. She grants you the power to enforce Her will. And when the time comes, the True Souls - you - will rule."

"That fellow was infected like us," Wyll mutters skeptically behind her. "Is this the mark of a 'True Soul'?"

Rakha desperately tries to steady her thoughts long enough to understand the situation. The blood on her fingertips is distractingly warm.

Brynna calls her a True Soul. The title connects, somehow, to the tadpole, and to the voice of a god called the Absolute. If Brynna is right, then this religion holds the answers Rakha seeks.

But even as she thinks it, Rakha finds herself dismissing the idea. None of her companions, just as infected, have mentioned anything of this god. Rakha herself has no memory of it, nor of any voice that she might be inclined to channel besides the murder-hungry urge crawling inside her skull.

And perhaps most to the point - Andrick and Brynna have been following the dead man for some time. That means he was not on the nautiloid. And that means his experience means nothing at all.

Whatever Edowin is (or was), it is something different from Rakha. And the True Soul gibberish is nonsense she needs no part of.

"You're mistaken," she says with a dismissive shrug, pushing herself sharply to her feet. "I'm no True Soul."

Andrick's eyes widen; terror splashes across his face. "What?"

"What are you doing?" Brynna demands, backpedaling several steps and yanking the mace off her back. The fervor with which she recited about the Absolute turns to a manic gleam in her eye. "Your sword, brother! Now!"

-----

The beast in Rakha's head was already on the point of slipping free, what with the overwhelming smell of Edowin's blood, his corpse staring up at her with its rictus frown. Seeing Brynna start to run at her, mace held high, she snaps, her vision whites, and she knows no more.

Some minutes later, she comes back to herself sitting in the shade of the nearby ridge. Her hands are soaked in blood. The two hapless followers of the Absolute lie dead next to their brother. Lae'zel is picking over their corpses, looking for anything of use.

Wyll squats next to her, raises an eyebrow. "I'll give you one thing," he says with dry humor. "You're thorough."

"I already told you," Rakha rasps. "How it feels. I wasn't lying."

"So I can see." He purses his lips thoughtfully. "Strange magic you wield. You about burned the girl to cinders and then... I don't know. It was like you couldn't move. Everything slowed down around you. Never seen the like."

She squints at him. "I could say the same of you."

"How's that?"

"Your magic. It's... different. Not like mine. It's..." She hesitates; she hasn't yet been able to truly articulate the way she sees the magical fabric of the world in a way that even Gale doesn't seem to. And she certainly doesn't know how to articulate why Wyll's feels so strange. "It's confusing," she finally says.

He laughs softly - but she hears something forced in it, another evasive edge. "Is it, now?" he says. "Sometimes it confuses me too..."

#bjk plays bg3 durge #rakha the dark urge #bjk writes her own party banter #first attempts at writing wyll banter #XD

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thedemigodoracle · 7 months

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Please read:

Ok, so as I jokingly said before “I’m back.” - I’m not joking, I am back.

Not entirely yet but here are some things to wait for in the near future.

Before I list it I need to browse fast through the real life stuff first so bear with:

- one of the reasons I did go missing from art and fandoms in general wasn’t just the ammount of books but also family situations, depression, relationships and in the last few years I lost grandma, grandpa and even my mother to a disease they don’t have it diagnosed yet because it was so rare.

Obvsly took a major hit to my mental health and the ability to write and just have energy kinda left me. I’m handling it I’m in therapy. This is all we need to talk about it.

- it’s been over ten years since some of your fave fics have been updated and while both Clichesbullet on ff.net and thatu on DA will be there and won’t be deleted HERE are what’s to expect:

1. My endgame here is reading the books back and forth again, as well as other source

Material for other fandoms I will

Be publishing for.

-updating the old fan mixes and uploading it to Spotify so it’s more accessible and going back (when possible to art).

- I will use AO3 some new aesthetics and user name (though probably just thatu) and edit a lot more to fit what I believe is better not because the world changed in general but because so

Did I.

Some of the racism and homophobia will still be there are these are the characters having flaws whose arcs weren’t complete but lots of it will also be changed because I’m 34 now I also the world is changed and some stuff just wouldn’t fly and I kinda hate it (but the old material is still there available on the old

Accounts).

- I’m not sure technology will be adapted but some references will here and there and I can clearly deliver something better now that I’ve taught English for over half of my life and am taking a masters degree on translation studies.

- real life will get me too busy sometimes so please I hope you’re excited but I know lots

Of you also have jobs or even families. So leave reviews and keep

Me company but also understand I was bad at updating before even with better time

Management this is will be a ride.

- I’m doing this to prove myself I can do and make good things.

- This site as well as the thatu blog will be updated.

- if you were a follower and have deleted your tumblr or changed usernames please leave a reply with who we were because I’ve had an eventful few years. I remember most of you, but I may need a nudge.

- both my writing and art style have developed and so did my world views - stuff will look different but hopefully still bring you comfort. And laughter.

And tears…?

- there will be some one shots posted focusing on stuff like grown up characters and new knowledge

We now have though the characterization will still follow the book ones as that’s how I kinda got used to it.

- I’m back but I’ll be getting back slowly and posting updates here. Tell ur friends who haven’t been here in a while but used to be part of our group of

Weirdos.

- I missed being a fandom person and hopefully now I can find solace in you guys back again.

- some new fandoms will pop up, as will

Some

Ships (see what I did there? Find solace? Will some ships? Hehe).

-Some extra texts will be added to whatever adaptations I make especially regarding transphobia and HP though I do intend to finish my Hannah/Neville story.

- maybe I’ll write original

Stuff too who knows?

Also, I missed you, spread the word. There’s a brand new old me in town. New ships, new views, new one shots, edits, a very different music taste (actually no I just added more stuff) and a lot of improved knowledge of vocabs and world geography.

Please spread this to whoever you think might be interested. It’s not popularity or anything, I’m trying to get back some pieces of me I lost along the way and writing and drawing used to be FUN and help me make FRIENDS.

I’ll keep u posted once everything is at least remotely ready to go.

And omg you’ll finally know what Silena had on clarisse.

Oh and I’m still not for writing smut but there will be more Adult/Mature like material as some ships require it and I am older. No minors having descriptive s*x

Of course but u know it’d feel weird to talk about these huge ass long relationships and not bring it up naturally.

Anyway, reply to this with whatever. Leave a like or something too but mostly leave a reply so we can start this journey together -

New younger fans are also welcome I’ll make my best to keep this space as safe as possible!! I teach kids and teens and I’d kill for u to have a place to be you safely.

Also there will now be additions on author notes for whether a ship is canon or fanon what I adapted and new fandoms new ships and trigger warnings before sensitive chapters that deal with stuff that before I wouldn’t.

Love, I’ve missed this,

thatu.

#calamity clarisse #Percy Jackson and the olympians #PJatO #leu a #clarisse la rue #Chrisse #thatu

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rurukatt · 1 year

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Letters to Tacitus Kilgore

Just a couple of letters Sophia sent to Arthur while she spent some time away from the gang. I did these as a little writing practice since I don’t really have the energy for much more. Enjoy~

[October 1894]

Dear Arthur,

It has been a while since I wrote a letter to anyone, and as always, I find myself not knowing what to say. So much has happened and yet barely anything worth mentioning comes to mind when I try to write.

I am doing well. The room I'm renting is nice (unlike the owner of the house, but that's a story for another time), and they're giving me a lot of work at the doctor's office, which I don't mind at all. It helps me keep my mind off things. The old doctor is a real gentleman, his son… He's insufferable, Arthur. Talks a lot and thinks himself more knowledgeable than his father, but he doesn't even know what he's talking about most of the time. The only person he's able to impress is himself, but that seems to be enough for him.

I had hoped my time with you all would be longer, but nevertheless I am grateful for what I got and I miss you every day. You, most of all, but sometimes I miss Hosea even more. Please give him my regards and thanks. Were it not for him, I wouldn't have this opportunity right now.

Yours fondly, Sophia Ashe

[November 1894]

Dear Arthur,

We had our first snow yesterday. It was a wonderful sight to wake up to, although the heavy snowfall made it difficult to get into town in time. I hope the weather is treating you well, wherever you are.

The snow also means I cannot take Sunflower for her usual morning rides anymore. I can clearly see she hasn’t been well, and now that the roads are too slippery, I don’t want to risk an injury on top of that. It pains me to see her like this, but I’m resolved to nurse her back to health. I cannot and will not lose this horse, Arthur, she’s everything to me. I promised I’d take good care of her when you gave her to me, and I intend to honor my word, even if it means sleepless nights and empty pockets.

Aside from this, I’m fine, and I hope you are as well. Please forgive me for sharing my troubles with you, I do not want you to worry about me when you doubtless have more pressing matters to attend to.

Please take care.

Sincerely yours, Sophia Ashe

[January 1895]

Dear Arthur,

I wish you and everyone in the camp a very Happy New Year!

I hope you’re well. Life here isn’t too exciting, I can’t say much has changed since I sent my last letter, except for this growing sense of loneliness. One of the girls I’m working with, Annie, is getting married soon and will be moving to another town. We’ve been getting along so well, and of course I’m happy for her and wishing her the best, but at the same time it fills me with sorrow because I will be left alone once again.

At least the days are getting longer. Inspired by you, I have taken up drawing again recently and while my artistic abilities are not on par with yours, it’s helping me get through this melancholic time of the year. I have also decided to expand my horizons and got myself an easel and some other supplies for painting, hopefully I’ll be able to put them to use soon. Enclosed are some of the newest additions of my little gallery, I hope they bring you at least a little joy. I miss seeing your smile.

Sincerely yours, Sophia

[February 1895]

My dear Arthur,

I must apologize for my delayed letter, work consumes most of my time these days and I rarely find the time to put my thoughts on the paper in a manner that’s worth reading.

Annie got married and moved away with her husband, and here I am, on my own again. Oh, what I would do to have people I can trust around me. I miss you more and more every day and I wish I heard anything from you or was given even a small sign that you’re still alive. All this silence has left me doubting the effectiveness of postal services, but it may as well be something else, I am not sure. At least this is what I keep telling myself.

I pray for your safety every day and I will not stop praying until I know all is well with you.

Your sincere friend, Sophia

P.S. Sunflower is getting better. She’s starting to resemble her old self and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder.

[March 1895]

My dearest Arthur,

Spring has come again, and with it, the longest winter of my life is finally over – just as I hope my time in this town is drawing to a close.

I rode out with Sunflower a couple days ago to see the first flowers in the woods. Words can hardly express what a wonderful feeling it is to witness life spring forth once more, to cherish these things that seem so mundane… the gentle breeze, the little green buds on the branches, the dewdrops on the grass. Few people can appreciate that, and I am constantly reminded that you are one of them. I would give anything to have you here by my side and watch you fill your journal with pictures of all of those small wonders nature has to offer.

My heart is aching in ways I never thought possible. The fates of my previous letters are unknown to me and I doubt you will receive this one either, yet I’m still choosing to make a fool of myself for one last time and tell you this: you will always be in my heart. Even though sometimes it felt like I was throwing myself against a stone wall, the man I saw through the cracks made up for everything. I want you to know that your friendship meant the world to me. It still does, and I regret not telling you sooner.

I keep holding out hope that I will see you again one day, whenever you decide to find your way back to me.

Forever yours, Sophia

#my art #my writing #oc: sophia #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 oc #rdo oc #as always we have lil illustrations for these too :V #me: i'm taking the weekend off so my wrist can heal #also me: does these #there shouldn't be any grammar mistakes in there but in case there are I'M SORRY

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stellahikaru · 2 months

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State of The Starry Path Hotel #4 (March 1st 2024)

Hello! Welcome to the fourth installment of the State of The Starry Path and the first one in March! I thought about doing a monthly wrap up but considering I didn’t get much done in February, I decided against it. OKAY NOW ONTO THE UPDATE!

Mini Life Update

It feels like I have so little time these days. I needed to help do some fixes for the main assignments of my capstone project so that took up most of my time and energy for the first part of the week. Then I was focused on assignments for my other classes for the rest of the week and before I knew it, it was Friday again. Man, I wish I had more time in general.

On the bright side, I will be on break for next week! I can finally relax and take some time for myself. While I will need to do some school related things during my break, the fact that I do not need to go to class means I can focus on relaxing, playing video games, and content creation of course!

Content Creation Progress Update

So I ended up not really thinking about content creation at all this week. I feel terrible about it but what can I do besides move forward? Thankfully, I will be off of school for the following week so I can get some work done on YouTube videos.

This Week’s Goals

Make an ideas list and write down a minimum of 5 ideas: This goal is a holdover from last week but since I will not be in school, I will have more time to devote to it this week.

Choose 1 idea and start a video script for it: Once I finish writing down some ideas, I’m going to choose one and start writing a script for it. Unfortunately I won’t be able to record any audio or gameplay because I won’t have my main PC with me, but

Research editing software: I’m going to look for a free or low cost editing software that I can use to make videos. Even though I won’t be able to test it while on my break, I can still install it when I come back to my PC.

This Month’s Goals

Make one YouTube video: I want to make a Youtube video this month even if it’s terrible. The majority of the weekly goals are going to be focused on this for the month.

This Year’s Goals

Get monetized on YouTube: I want to eventually make money off of my content so I’m hoping to get monetized on YouTube this year. This is going to be a tall order, but I hope I can keep working towards this with my weekly and monthly goals!

Become an Affiliate on Twitch: Despite making Twitch less of a priority, I still want to be able to become an affiliate on Twitch. While I do need to find a way to meet the seven days streaming requirement, I want to be able to draw in viewers first.

Gain 100 followers on any social media besides YouTube or Twitch: I actually am over halfway to 100 followers on Twitter as of writing this, but I still don’t get a ton of engagement on my post. In addition, most of the followers I have gotten are those annoying GFX bots and it’s a little bit disheartening. I also want to build up a following on Tumblr and Bluesky as well!

Make a community Discord server: Once I build up a community, I want to create a Discord server for people to hang out in. However, I want to wait until there is a demand for a Discord server. This goal is lower priority compared to the other goals but I hope that this does end up happening this year!

Final Thoughts

I can’t wait to be able to relax and not have to think about school all the time this week. Hopefully this month I can hit the ground running and actually be able to finish the goals I set out for myself this week. Also I do want to make an announcement regarding streams for the next couple of weeks. I will not be streaming tomorrow or next Saturday. Since I am planning on going back to my parent’s house, I will need to spend tomorrow preparing for the drive there and then the following Saturday is when I’m planning on coming back, so I do not want to pressure myself to get back in time for a stream. My next stream will be on Saturday March 16th at 2 PM EST. However, I will make sure to write a blog post for next week! Anyway, I hope your stay was bright and your journey is filled with light!

#vtuber #indie vtuber #en vtuber #black vtuber #the starry path hotel #starry eyed vtuber hotelier #virtual youtuber #vtuber uprising #small streamer #I posted this before 11:59 PM so I'm not technically late

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mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 4 months

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Earth Angel In Wing & Sweater-Town (2024)

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Credit for Transformers goes to Hasbro

Credit for Steven Universe goes to Rebecca Sugar

Credit for Undertale goes to Toby Fox

Credit for Hazbin Hotel goes to VivziePop

Credit for Red Vs Blue Series goes to Burnie Burns & Rooster Teeth

Credit for Halo Game Series goes to Bungie

Credit for Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command goes to Disney

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in case some might not be able to read the words very well, I think clicking on the drawing to make it bigger might help...I'm saying this before I post this, in case it might not be big enough to read the words unless one clicks on it...

I also decided use the angelsona tag for this, because technically the Earth Angel in the drawing is suppose to be me, in both wing and sweater town.

I would of posted this on January 6, 2024….the day I drew it, but there was a bit of a problem with Tumblr it would appear…which the info about it says it was being worked on and trying to fix it.

I was feeling a bit in a sad mood some hours ago on January 6th, before I drew this drawing on the same day, but maybe I can talk about it another time.

and while I did check once more, a few minutes later…it appeared that Tumblr was back to normal again, but I decided to wait until January 7, 2024 to post this.

also there can be different reasons why some Humans and Humans who are Earth Angels, to fall under the 8th Sin…some of them being because of Other Humans and Eon-Boomer Angels/Fallen Angels. and even if I know I don't really have the power to, but if I had lost my second cat because they weren't taking to the vet on time or those who work at the vet messed up and I lost my fluffy baby because of it…

I would cause Omnigeddon…also my day was doing a little okay on January 6, 2024 and I had plan to play some video games as well, but then something had to put me in a not so great mood and so I had to go to bed to sleep it off…

well at least some other stuff that happen later after what put me in a poor mood, end up making me feel a little more better. and yeah, the one who is hiding in both wing & sweater town is suppose to be me…

ya can't really see me, only know that I'm hiding behind energy wings and a sweater because the drawing is suppose to match how I was feeling because of some some humans…

I think sleeping the 8th Sin off helped a bit, well that and some stuff that ended up making me feel better…at least I watched a few episodes of Ah My Goddess and some episodes of Sailor Moon before that thing that I saw that put me in a gloomy mood.

Alastor being able to use Earth Angel Magic, does seem like a interesting idea…the idea is that he uses the pendulum to find where I am, which is in wing & sweater town.

and I guess if I had to talk little bit of what made me feel unhappy and think as well feel like I'm under the 8th Sin during that time, it has to do with that bad mouthing about Alastor… hopefully things will work out….

and ya know, it be interesting if he could use a pendulum even in ways I may not be able to, even though it did freak me out at first when I was holding a pendulum for the first time and it started to move around like crazy…

the chance of Alastor also being RH Negative, is perhaps very VERY small…but I'm going to view him as being RH Negative in the Fanon… speaking of that, I am going to at least try to see if I can at long last, get to the whole checking my blood type again…and yeah I get your blood type is with you for the rest of your life.

but I guess it's freaky to have O RH D Negative Blood, and your own Mom has O RH Negative Blood, but where did the "D" part come from…?

and yeah I'm weird, one of my weird thoughts is that I don't want Jesus, Antichrist, and Archangel Samael to harm Mother than she was already…

and by "Mother" I mean the Omni-Mom, and by that I mean the Goddess. I can still believe in Jesus, but if he is a part of that mess along with Archangel Samael…

well I'm not going to agree with it, and he still needs to be saved from himself if some stuff I read that has to do with him turn out to be true.

also no one is gonna change my mind about believing in both God and Goddess, not even that Toxic-Religious jerk who should of just shut up when I pointed out how bad that they were making me feel. hopefully they aren't doing that to more people.

I'm going to hope other Earth Angels finally wake up to the truth, but it should be of their own free will. but in case not all Earth Angels wake up to the truth, I might as well go solo until more Earth Angels finally wake up to the truth.

even if things are a bit more better for most women and girls (even if it isn't at 100% and is likely around 99% or 98% or maybe around 95%)

but we still need to finally see that one of the problems…is that Omni-Mom was harmed as well as the Divine Feminine energy, and it took probably a super long time for her to get a bit more better.

I think when I can, I will do another drawing ship of Wasp x Lazuli (from Transformers Animated & Steven Universe), and another Mamtella drawing (Mammon x Stella's ship name), that ship name still seems like some kind of food ya eat.

even just talking/writing about that ship name Mamtella, it made me hungry…I can't help that their ship name reminds me of food. XD well me being my weird self is better than being gloomy and possibly going all 8th Sin at times…I could make a list as to what causes me to become under the influence of 8th Sin…

and once again the whole "Eveningstar" has to do with the weird thing with my Mom, and how she NEVER got Morning sickness with me, but instead got Evening sickness.

I rather be called a purple blood than a blue blood, cause at times blue blood can mean another thing…some might know very well if they had looked it up before.

so I'm glad that only some of my Ancestors were Royals and some weren't, I wouldn't be a purple blood if it weren't for both my royal and non-royal ancestors. :D

I'm a Weird Earth Angel Princess, even if I don't work 100% like Other Earth Angels and I know I'm a Defective Earth Angel.

anyway, I had to draw how I was feeling, like the feeling of wanting to go to both wing and sweater town and not come out of wing and sweater town for a while…or it could be called wing-sweater town…

and yes, I know that Flowey has pink eyes in this, it was on purpose. Sari is holding Andy from Red Vs Blue, and right next to her is Tucker's Son, who could have small bits of Human DNA even if he doesn't appear Human at all.

both Andy and Sari are right about Humans, some of them are Shisno but some of them aren't and don't act like a bunch of Shisno…

so in other words, for the Humans who don't act like a Shisno and aren't Shisno at all, it means there is still hope for Humans.

and hopefully some humans will try not to act like they are better than some who have a biracial or multiracial heritage, even if not all humans are like that…

but ya know it is still possible some are still out there, and are gonna insult some other humans and even humans who are earth angels who have a biracial or multiracial heritage.

and even if some humans don't mean to come off like it, like those who really mean it, they might not fully understand that they could insult and bring about not so great feelings to some.

I also think that even if I try to explain about it, it is likely my words will be misinterpreted…..

it wouldn't be the first time, though at least half of the time my words got misinterpreted, it wouldn't be as bad and I might be able to explain a bit better than how it first came out, so in other words some small misunderstandings are fine so long as they don't end up hurting someone's feelings in a very bad way.

but I know it is possible even if I try not to let some of my words get misinterpreted, it doesn't mean it wont still happen at times and the times that it does, there will be a chance my feelings will get hurt as well.

and yeah, it might be best that I don't get too into the whole why some are hating on Alastor, but I'm going to still hope that things work out the right way and he appears in many future episodes, well the future episodes he will appear in.

I know that in some shows, even some characters who are part of the main characters, will at times not appear in a episode but will in the next.

one of Alastor's powers is Radio Manipulation, and from the powerlisting fandom, there is a list of names that show what it is also called by…

like Radiofonokinesis, Radio Distortion, Radio Wave Manipulation/Control, Radio Frequency Manipulation/Control and just Radio Control.

even if I had that weird thing happen with one of the radios we have, which by the way I think it might only happen once in a while with me, so that might be a good thing.

and one of the other powers that Alastor has is being able to use tendrils, which is also listed in Darkness Manipulation, of course it says Applications and it has Darkness Solidification.

there is also something that says manipulate the properties of darkness/shadow.

and we could view in the episode Alastor first appears in, he was using both Radiofonokinesis and Umbrakinesis, which one of the other names of Darkness Manipulation would be Shadow Control/Manipulation, Erebokinesis, Dark Control/Manipulation, Sciakinesis and Achluokinesis and yeah also the Umbrakinesis.

and for all we know, the reason he could be so powerful is because in his human life, he was of the Nephilim Bloodline, even if not being a full Nephilim, but there are some Earth Angels who do come from the Nephilim Bloodline.

not like we can help that, we aren't our Nephilim Ancestors. and calling us (by me and others) who have RH Negative blood, and who have Nephilim Ancestors as just as evil and bad as them, is a foolish thing.

plus I can't help but wonder if Earth has been through a loop many times before, which has to do with what those Eon-Boomers and the harm it causes Omni-Mom.

like the whole "End of The World" may have happen many MANY like a lot of times before, and each time the Earth would go through a type of "rebirth" and go back to how it was before that mess happen. well hopefully that isn't true, well unless it happen in another timeline and we live in a new alternate branch of it…

I like this drawing, it might of help a bit more to get some feelings out, and yeah as weird as it might be, in the drawing, Alastor is using the pendulum to track and find a Earth Angel, which in Fanon (and Noncanon) could be seen as one of his abilities.

and even if it isn't a official title, I'm still gonna call myself The Embodiment of Weirdness. XD

well me being weird and silly is better than when I feel unhappy.

and I'm glad I feel better from how I felt yesterday, it sucked feeling like that...which I think when you have days when you feel a bit melancholy, that could be the 8th Sin for all we know...

and the best thing I think I can do when I get like that, is if maybe try to either sleep it off or maybe do some other stuff, like watching a movie or a show I like, or reading.

plus maybe gems can help with the feelings of melancholy, like you could feel that way at times but certain gems help heal it.

of course not everyone has to be open about the healing properties of gems. and I'm still keeping my gem bracelets on for the multi-purpose I use them for and only take them off when I truly need to.

I think the 8th Sin who is like the Embodiment of Melancholy, and the 8th Ring, would likely be Fanon and Not Canon in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss.

so the 8th Ring and Embodiment Of Melancholy would be in like a Fanon AU version of the two shows.

Embodiment Of Melancholy, probably needs a nice and fluffy blanket around them, some comfort food, a nice movie to watch and if they want and give permission for it, a nice comforting hug.

even if I don't like to be touched sometimes, I don't mind getting a hug if that is truly what I want.

sometimes surprise hugs where I'm hug from behind, would likely startle me and I might not like it very much...even if some might not truly get why I might not like it but maybe some might get it if they feel the same about certain surprise hugs.

I think it was around last year/2023 or maybe it was 2022, that had one of my family members startle me when they hug me from behind...

anyway my angelsona in this drawing, mentioning about being under the 8th Sin's influence, just seem to fit because well I was feeling not great before but I think sleeping off and waking up to some stuff that made me a bit happy, may have helped.

anyway I hope some like this drawing, and understand why I put my angelsona self in wing-sweater town, because it was to express how I was feeling.

and yeah even if it isn't canon to Alastor's powers, I like the idea about him using Earth Angel Magic in the Fanon.

Viva La Weirdness, The Embodiment Of Weirdness Era! XD

#do not reblog without permission #earth angel #angelsona #crossover fanart #hazbin hotel fanart #steven universe fanart #undertale fanart #transformers animated #tfa fanart #red vs blue fanart #halo fanart #blosc fanart #alastor hazbin hotel #steven quartz universe #sari sumdac #junior rvb #flowey the flower

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asexual-but · 1 year

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Character bingo for Xingqiu, scaramouche, or kaeya?

Xingqiu ^^

They are soooooo cool looking-

I absolutely adore Xingqiu's design. Again with the colors, they're gorgeous! The dark blues and the gold work perfectly together!

I actively dislike them, sorry-

I also find him annoying, he feels like a younger kid who lives on your street and really wants your attention.

Wow! They are a horrible person!-

Xingqiu is kind of horrible to my boy Chongyun. That, my friends, is a bully, not a friend.

Scaramouche/Wanderer :)

I like them enough to project my own issues to them-

I honestly didn't like him at all the first time I saw him. Afterwards I made the mistake of trying to draw him, and that just won't help your opinion of any Genshin character.

But now, seeing how his character has developed and hopefully will continue to develop, I like him a lot more.

Nothing I like about them is technically canon-

I.... I read a fic with him having a kitsune familiar like Ei and Yae, but I can't find it anymore someone help.

That fic is just so funny that I actually went and made a character with this idea. I love the idea of him having a familiar who is like bonded to him so not only will it not leave him alone, he can't even try to get rid of it without immense emotional distress. Like Ha, take that.

They work better as part of a dynamic-

Aforementioned Kitsune aside.

Him and Nahida and him and Lumine specifically is really funny. Lumine is the traveler I chose, but I think she just works more as the more serious and reserved of the two.

Scaramouche played against someone who simply will not put up with his shit. Or who will put up with it and find ways to redirect his energy and he HATES it. (except he doesn't, but he'll never admit that)

Wow! They are a horrible person-

Scaramouche has done things. Many things, many horrible things. But I really enjoyed the fact that he accepted that he did these things. He has chosen to be aware of the things he once did, and hopefully is choosing actively to become better. That's so fun, a character who wants better for themselves, so they work to be better??

They got too much screen time-

I'm just.... There's only so much I can stand of characters like this. Unfortunately, I reached the limit immediately in Inazuma, and again in the recent event. I'm just tired of him at this point.

They are soooooo cool looking-

Big surprise, I like Kaeya's design.

I actually mostly enjoy what I think it implies? I have a different headcanon for basically every character's body type. None of them look the same in my head as they do in canon... basically except Kaeya.

I like him lanky! Well, maybe not lanky, but lean. Not very wide, not super bulky, but still strong. I like this as a contrast to Diluc, who I see as being rather wide and bulky. :)

They're deeper than they seem-

I think a lot of people flatten his character into being just being secretive and hot. I'm just saying that this man is kind of a shambling mass of issues that would benefit from a hug, a kiss on the forehead, and some therapy.

Not as deep as they seem-

Guys we can think about his abyssal heritage later, let's talk about his other emotional issues first, I think they're more interesting.

I like them enough to project my own issues onto them-

It was a long journey for him to get here. I'm not going to elaborate very much, because it's more personal than I'd like to get, but know that I do.

They got done DIRTY by fans-

Kaeya is more than eyecandy!!! He's also a funny little guy!!! A sad little guy!!!

They've never done anything wrong in their life<3-

He like... hasn't. Like, I'm not joking. I thought he had, but do you know why he told Diluc about his secret backstory?? Because if you read his character story, it feels like he wanted to be punished for being born. That he was feeling guilt for what he assumed he was in Mondstadt for, and then Diluc tried to murder him.

We know I love Diluc, but I'm absolutely a Kaeya defender in this exact moment.

#screaming at the void #sagau #genshin impact #xingqiu #scaramouche #scarameow #kaeya alberich #kaeya defender here #like diluc what the fuck #murder is not the answer in this situation exactly

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madfantasy · 2 years

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Dear Blogging

Hope ur doing well🍀

When I realise my updates are futher apart in time, it makes me sad. I don't have much new to say, I am in the same trance following no time yet feeling every passing second. In progress that I can't feel because of how much I'm used to pain and nothingness. I am okay, finally had the brain power to make words today, the last months were exceptionally difficult as I mentioned the unrelenting near 50° heat. And for the majority of that time I spent it without any means to cool off, which periodically made me sick and kept me in bed too long. Even more bits of my teeth broke off, rendering me unable to smile or eat without jolts of pain. My unstable network provider topping off the misery.

Since I moved to my "sunny room" I couldn't use the net I waste money on for because of the weak signal, so I had not much sources of distractions or solace. Nothing separating me from the continuous good old times; living in absolute isolation. I don't think I have online connections anymore and wouldn't blame anyone for forgetting me. I'm sorry, I feel absolutely disconnected, I don't know what I want or what to do or how to dare be involved. And in all honesty, I am functioning on 1% energy spent on drawing..

I was trying to have a goal to compete that, to keep my faith up and have hope and project it. Wanting a red and black room was one, but I gave up on it because I didn't have enough work to afford it, and really the experience of buying stuff online only to find the advertised color was a lie, specially if its red was a huge waste of time and money. And my guardians fed up with me asking them to return things, ungraciously. I liked my room eventually

After prolonged periods of depression, I found myself longing for my traditional art, flicking through my old diary. I craved to return able to draw on paper again, and the few times I tried, memories, good and bad gushed through. Relived again how it was to draw in secret and to love things you are constantly told are not for you or called it not natural and be punished severely for.. just made me cry over how culture always just hurt for the sake of hurting and uses religion as a loose cape, mourning them using it to exclude while it was something aimed to be harmonious with all and they never focus on being actual good people over keeping appearances.. for the longest time making me wonder if something was actually wrong with me beyond just being different than them.. now there's plethora of mental things thanks to their abuse. Starting with my inability to look at people without feeling quick to panic discomfort. Making me see this isolation as they say, a "blessing in disguise ". I don't know how to take that as, tbh, I still to this day get nightmares of when I used to live in big houses with multiple families, or the endless schools I went to.

I started drawing on paper bit by bit. The minute I find myself overwhelmed I stop. With time I felt I can enjoy it again, and recalled all what passer through my mind as kid, how I fantasised of owning the chunkiest coloring tin or the thickest drawing paper. So decided to get sketchbooks and notebooks and try everything new, I didn't care

I didn't know where to start, so I got randomly selected sketchbook and one lockable journal, so I can hopefully write diary again like i used to. I show everything i get to them but already Guardians couldn't help themselves and flick though it, I didn't say anything but my inside automatically clinched and turned into an angry imp snatching to have it back, like i used to actually react when they searched my school things for doodles.

I changed the lock c:

I learned of the existence of more mechanical pencil sizes so I got every possible one, carefully not breaking my law of owning only red and black things, hehe. Also some essentials so my guardians won't comment on my spending ways. Like a tooth brush, and the best bonnet ever. I also got myself a backpack for my pen people to live in, for the longest time I wanted a shark backpack but this one just screamed Mani (it was cheaper 😝). As kid I had a red bag with snoopy's face on it, it was my literal safe zone that I carried it everywhere, pretended to travel in cardboard boxes with and had many garbage things stored in it that ment something dear to me, already that blissful feeling is regenerated when i wore it. And hopefully next month I get work to buy colors..

I got my eyes on those atm

(Also something funny, I can promise you I got the talk about devil worship from them for getting horns, and here's the thing; they know about the actual sketchy devil worship practices, its a common knowledge in our surroundings. To me, having red horns it felt Mani like, style euphoria, I love being a polite naughty gentlethem and that spoke of it clearly to me so I didn't care too much)

I also in my careless defiance rush, bought a shoulder- abaya that resembles more of a cloak, to me at least. To help dim my dysphoria even for the tiniest bit and maybe give me one point of courage to want to go out when possible. 'Cause the only thought i have when I'm out is absolute fear, or brain blanking out on me and i freeze in my place

I was stressed for so long that they might fight me on it because they never allowed me to wear but the cover ups of their choice from the dark ages, one I could not walk in or see where I was headed in (i actually wear glasses to see), but I presented it to them and I don't think they noticed.

Maybe now i can feel comfortable in it, throughout the years I never really adjusted to wearing it— having almost no occasion to leave the house 3/4 of my life. It was never something i felt connected to, been only a reminder of pure shame and embarrassment. From the very first day I started to cover my face at middle school, was forced to do that the day before, non of my guardians taught me how to wear it. And the minute it fell from my face thanks to my clumsy attempts at tying it, my face was welcomed with— not the fresh air and 4k sight clarity, but a slap that knocked me back into the car. Followed by an entire hysterical berating, calling me a sl*t and what have you, for everyone who was dropping their kids to see and hear.

I didnt know it at the time, but i was also mocked of how I wore it many times by my peers, while some took petty on me and dressed me themselves. I merely envied those foreign students who wore it just to follow the school rules and offed it the minute they got into their cars to leave. I still have no answer to what I truly want, and thats okay..

I forgot to mention how they can be super pricy, so I got the cheapest I could, resulting it being thick, strings jutting everywhere, way too big on me and all of its buttons fell. So I had to do some long hem shortenings and buttons sewing, I think I started to like it

I now just need someone to hold my hand and never let go, to take me to the hospital and hypothetically be my voice till mine return... manifesting

Oh and i did drew alot of snarry cuz it was my only cure during this time of dissociative routine, ofc endless of sketches that did not make it and 2 did, and still more to come hopefully when I continue to feel better

I wish you all the best in this world my dears, your burdens ease and your heart beats with your desires met , mani loves you ❤️‍🔥🍀🕊🙏

24.6.2022

#text #drawing journal

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brokenpaladin · 9 months

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10, 20, and 38! (I rolled a dice so I have no idea which ones these are 👀)

And A for the creator ask!

Oh boy, a fun selection!! This'll be long, hopefully I can put a read more here via mobile. Also, I'm gonna answer the creator one first,

A) Why are you excited about this character?

*drags over a chair* WELL I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED. Though I guess an easier question would be what am I not excited about over Talis. I love him!! He's my boy!! He'll second-guess himself into the ground over something as simple as small talk, and he'll commit physical violence to protect a frightened stranger. He's convinced he's a terrible, foreboding presence and he gives off the biggest kicked puppy energy ever

He's seven feet tall and tries to stand as small as he can. He knits and mends to calm himself. If he stares at the sky too long he'll cry. He'll swear on his life to help someone get somewhere safely and he fully means it. He can't spend more than a few weeks traveling with someone before he's convinced he needs to leave for their own safety.

He once became a crux-point person in the change of power in an entire city, was nearly executed in another's place, and I'm not sure he realizes it. He befriended an injured owlbear. He's functionally homeless. He's absurdly powerful for a random forest stray living outside a town in the middle of nowhere, and he still will hire himself out as a day laborer in exchange for a meal

More seriously, he's become a very near and dear representation of an archetype I've always felt drawn to but never really sat down to extrapolate or write with abandon-- the self-sacrificing hero. The one who will put himself in danger to protect others. And specifically, the toll that takes, time and again, throwing yourself between another and cruelty you can't stop. The way it warps your thoughts and your view of yourself

And hopefully also how you learn to redirect that protective instinct into a healthy direction, how to grow and heal and value yourself again >:T But we're working on that bit

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

I mean, tbh, everything haunts him-- he lets nothing go :') But the lie he tells most frequently, and actively, is probably about his own state or well-being. The simple regular ones, "I'm fine" and "it's nothing", the ones you tell to keep going. He doesn't think much of it, actually. He's sturdy and has survived worse, so to fuss over a bout of fear or a single wound feels painfully pointless

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

Oof….. um, that would be a tricky one for our paladin lad. For you see, he's aromantic! He's never really felt a draw towards any particularly romantic relationship? But he's always been an affectionate, friendly lad, even as a kid, so growing up it was a little tricky to navigate-- he and his mom had many a long talk about how it felt weird when people made a big deal about holding hands, or how sometimes the way someone insinuated around him spending time with a friend felt uncomfortable. But she listened to his anxious talking over it, and helped him figure out that while he was fond of folk, he didn't feel drawn to them in a coupling sort of way-- just general affection or physical attraction, though he always got embarrassed to bring that up (I mean he was an absolute goob as a kid)

Now though, you're mostly just going to get a momentarily puzzled look and a shrug. He's not so talkative, these days

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

Consciously, none. Or, he tries not to think on anything that has been, but he finds his memories of living in Neverwinter intruding most frequently when he's awake. For good or for ill, that was his safest and best home when he returned to the surface. He'll push those memories away as often as he can, because he doesn't think he has any right to miss his home there. He left voluntarily, after all. They would have kept him and looked after him forever, if he let them…

#dnd character #original character #dnd #paladin #dragonborn #ask meme #asked and answered #((hello and welcome to Look At My Disaster Son Hours))#((he's trying his best his best is just very messy and earnest))#paladin talis

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tipsycad147 · 8 months

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MY FAVORITE DAILY TAROT PRACTICE

September 10, 2022 / Alexis J. Cunningfolk

One of my favorite tools for cultivating mindfulness and a sense of wellness day-to-day is the tarot. I use tarot not only as a tool of divination but as a tool of healing, incorporating the cards into my meditation and breathwork practice, as well as into practices of sacred inquiry. As someone who likes meditative practices that include tactile experiences - such as meditative knitting or labyrinth walking - I find the acts of setting up a space to read tarot, holding and shuffling the cards to be pleasing. For me, a daily practice needs to be one that is pleasurable, relatively effortless, and something that creates a sense of steadiness along my path. So I've created my daily healing tarot practice with these things in mind.

To be honest, it took me a while to find the "sweet spot" of a daily tarot practice. I've gone through periods of my life where the idea of pulling a tarot card each day as a divinatory reading (i.e. what might be coming my way today) was far more stressful than helpful. Or a daily tarot practice felt more like navel gazing rather than useful, ruminating over a singular issue for far too long. Other times, when things felt particularly stressful, I could slip into the all too common problem of hoping the cards would tell me explicitly what I should do next. So for a long while I only pulled out my cards to either admire their art (something which is a valuable part of tarot - the way it brings beauty into our world) or only for big occasions. Looking back I realized I needed this fallow period and when I was ready again to work with the cards on a more regular basis, I developed the following daily practice.

My daily tarot practice is not strictly divinatory (i.e. looking to foretell future events or reveal hidden ones past and present), but it does help to illuminate and hopefully provide clarity in certain areas of one's life. The purpose of my daily tarot practice is to provide clarity about and support for my current energy. It's low pressure, contemplative in nature, and meant to help me feel connected to the wider web of community.

There's also a practical nature to a daily tarot practice. If you're new to tarot and learning the meanings of the cards, a daily tarot practice is a great way to learn the cards and practice interpretation on a regular, low-pressure basis. For healers and magickal practitioners, a daily tarot practice can be part of your spiritual practice of energy balancing and psychic hygiene. If you keep notes about the cards you draw it can be a great reference to look back at over the years to see the type of cards that came up seasonally or around certain sabbats and Moon phases.

But before you create (or re-imagine) your own daily (or daily-ish) tarot practice, it's good to ask the question: Why? Not knowing your why can lead to muddled energies, but you also don't have to have a complex why. Your why could be that you like the idea of a daily tarot practice, it's not something you've done before, and it's something you want to try. That's a good starting place. Or you're an old-timer whose been reading the cards for years, but your practice feels stagnated and a daily draw seems like a good way to reinvigorate it. So take a moment to ask yourself:

Why do you want a daily tarot practice?

What are you hoping to learn?

What is the energy you're trying to cultivate?

What are you hoping to feel with a daily tarot practice?

With our curiosity piqued, let me show you my daily tarot practice and hopefully it'll inspire your own.

My Daily Healing Tarot Practice

Before any cards are laid out before me, I like to take a few moments to orient myself to the sacred. What this looks like for me is some simple breathwork to connect with my current energy as well as my own devotional practices. Breathwork, simple body movement, free dance, guided visualization, prayers or affirmations, and more are all ways that we can acknowledge and resonate with the sacredness that lives within all things including ourselves. Part of what makes tarot so magickal and healing is that it can often deliver messages to us when we are most open to hearing them. Orienting oneself to the sacred helps us to hear what needs to be heard and feel what needs to be felt.

I like to lay out a cloth that I then lay my cards on, light a candle, and maybe some sacred sounds. It's another way of signaling to myself that I'm deserving of taking time and space to reflect on my needs so that I can better show up in community spaces amidst all the needs of everyone else. As creating peace in my personal life, the communities I move through, and the Land I live with is an essential part of my wellbeing, creating a beautiful space for my daily meditation and tarot practice reminds me that it is a beautiful thing to practice peace daily. Here is where you might need to reflect on what it is you're trying to cultivate regularly by having a daily tarot (or meditation or prayer or whatever) practice.

I then begin to pull cards, pulling three in total.

The first card represents my current state of energy. It is my personal weather report on my energy and current experience of self. There is typically nothing too surprising about this card, but the images and meaning of the card can often offer another perspective or helpful language to describe my current state of energy that I may have been struggling to find. Sometimes I write in my journal about this and the following cards, but that's usually only when I'm dealing with a particularly sticky pattern of energy and healing need. Usually, I try to simply summarize and speak out loud a short description of my energy as reflected back to me from the card. The speaking out loud is part of the healing work of these daily spreads (or equivalent outward self-expression - such as signing, typing, writing - the goal is to move thoughts from our inner to outer worlds).

Here are some examples of simple card summaries:

Queen of Pentacles: I am feeling abundant and steady in my energy after a period of growth and hard work.

Temperance: I am seeking to find a sense of balance and peace in a world that feels chaotic.

Page of Wands: I am reconnecting to my creative potential after a period of creative fallowness and frustration.

The next two cards are in direct relationship to the first card cast. I pull one card to help me understand what supports my energetic needs and another card to help me understand what hinders my energetic needs. I like that terms like "helps" and "hinders" are relatively neutral but describe deeply personal experiences. What is helpful to me might be cumbersome or hindering to you and vice versa. Nor are things that might hinder me one day bad (i.e. too much socializing that leaves you feeling drained) be inherently bad because on another day they might be exactly what you need energetically (i.e. a social gathering that leaves you feeling energized and happy). It is the same with the help card.

Oftentimes the help and hinder cards support work that I'm already doing around boundaries, relationships, work and rest balance, and so on. They are more often reassurances rather than revelations, though sometimes they are a bit of both, and frequently the cards relay information to me in a way that re-inspires my way of understanding a certain situation or experience of mine.

So let's look at some examples of help and hinder cards in relation to the sample cards above:

For the Queen of Pentacles:

What Helps: With the help of the King of Pentacles I am reminded that thinking beyond this period of abundance and growth is a form of self-care and I should look for connections today with a trusted friend or mentor about the abundance in my life.

What Hinders: With the Moon I am reminded that even in times of growth, rest is necessary and to make sure to make time for extra rest today.

For Temperance:

What Helps: The Ten of Cups reminds me to connect with family and friends to help find balance in my life - it is time to reach out and ask for help because there are plenty of folks in my life who are willing to help.

What Hinders: The King of Swords warns me of being too analytical in my pursuit of balance and thinking myself into a state of confusion, reminding me that balance is achieved through collaboration not through proving I can do it all on my own.

For the Page of Wands:

What Helps: The Knight of Wands encourages me to be brave in my creative pursuits after a period of self-doubt.

What Hinders: The Ace of Cups suggests that there is a need for more self-reflection on my fear around creativity and to not avoid understanding those fears better because I'm afraid I've "lost" my creativity.

Sometimes I pull an extra help or hinder card if the message feels muddled, but that is on a rare occasion and something that I try not to do as the point of this practice is to be short and simple. Oftentimes if I'm feeling perplexed by one of the cards pulled I'll revisit them at the end of the day or make note of them in my journal to look back on later. Their meaning always becomes clear even if that clarity arrives at a later date.

After all three cards are pulled and guidance is spoken out loud, I end with a few more deep and centering breaths and then that's it!

A Few Thoughts

As you can see there is a lot of room for creating a daily healing tarot practice that fits you and your needs the best. For the help and hinder cards you might choose to pull an oracle card that has a direct message. Or you might want a more expansive energetic snapshot and pull a card each for mind, body, and spirit or for each of the energetic centers of your body. While I tend to pull the first card as a general energetic overview, you might have a specific issue or area in your life that you want to focus on - do it! You're developing a tarot practice for you and the way you think and feel, so adjust your approach as necessary.

In addition to being a lovely way of encouraging a sense of wellness in an effortless sort of way, my daily tarot practice has been a fun way to get to know new-to-me decks that come into my collection. Reading with a new deck in this gentle sort of way has been a rewarding way of getting to know the world, characters, and energy of a new-to-me deck while exploring my own energetic landscape.

Most importantly, my daily healing tarot practice has helped me to fall in love with using the tarot everyday again. I needed to take the pressure off of reading the cards as a form of divination or even intense self-reflection while still being interesting over a long period of time and this practice does just that for me. The boundary of these types of readings are meant only for the next 24 hours, I'm not trying to gaze too far into time and space in any direction, and I get to check in with myself in a way that automatically comes with much needed reassurance and guidance.

I hope you find the sweet spot that is your very own tarot practice, whether it's casting cards daily, at the change of the seasons, once a year or whenever the Moon is new.

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snarky-art · 2 years

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Hey snarky, love your most recent posts but I must ask. How do you maintain the energy to stay focused on your au? I've been struggling with my own Winx esc story and I'm struggling with and I want to know someways to stay motivated and plan content.

So first off, love the stuff you come up with and I’m so honored you ask me questions about things related to it

And secondly, this may not be the answer you want to hear and it’s just my opinion, but don’t force yourself to stay on it if you’re not feeling it.

I find that I tend to come up with my best stuff when I’m actively enjoying what I’m making and having fun, which to me should be the main priority for creating things. If you’re not feeling that inspired or are feeling like you have to force yourself to come up with stuff for your project, then you don’t have to do it.

Sometimes you need a break, and you can always come back to it if you want to! That’s the great thing about doing stuff like this. You feel like you’re slogging through it and aren’t having a good time? Fuck it. Do something else then. That’s ok! And if it turns out later on you realize you don’t want to continue doing it? That’s ok too!

I’ll have stints on here where I’m just drawing Barbie or Zelda fanart and occasionally other magical girl related stuff because that’s the stuff I’m more into at the moment and I’m not really feeling super inspired with my winx au/rewrite thingy. Like lately I’ve been having trouble coming up with stuff so I shared some pose memes and color palette things and have been doing requests as well as my own personal doodles with them that I like.

Sometimes you get burnt out and you just gotta do something else. That advice from that art lesbian who lives in the woods from Kiki’s Delivery Service? About taking a break, not creating stuff for a while, and enjoying other things instead if you’re struggling with making things? Yeah basically that lol

My last piece of advice is that bouncing ideas off of people can be fun too! For example, @maea-megs and I have been trying to update and redo some of their AU stuff to give it a more identifiable and unique spin and that’s been great! Its just us screaming for hours and going on tangents that result in some really cool ideas and new lore.

I have a lot of people on here that I’m lucky enough to be able to talk to about ideas and concepts and outside input can lead to some great trains of thought you yourself may have never come up with! From my own personal experiences on here the winx fandom overall is super fucking nice too and I’ve found that even if it’s intimidating, sending an ask or a dm if they’re cool with it can usually result in some really great new friendships and creative buddies. I’m also always happy to talk about stuff in the dms too if you want! I love hearing other peoples thoughts and ideas about this stupid sparkly fairy show from 2004 lol we can have the time of our lives.

So yeah! That’s all the advice I have basically. As always I’m not sure how helpful it is but hopefully you’ll get something out of reading it lol

And once again feel free to dm to talk about ideas or concepts I’m always down for it!

#winx club #winx #asks #ask

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star-stucks · 2 years

Note

So I am the Eridan that wanted the tarot reading with Kankri and I asked for it because I don’t remember it all that well though you are correct about it being non romantic I will admit I had first though he was Karkat before I realised how different their voices were and that Kar wouldn’t wear his blood colour like that and our personalities weren’t the best to come together but also at that time I had messed many things up and with Kankri’s ability to I need a new message to complete this

so with his ability to talk to anyone regardless if they want to talk or not somehow it felt to me like we became close (though we both had out emotional outbursts me more often than him with our somewhat clashing personalities) and in the end I did value his company and companionship I do remember him trying to talk me through stuff I experienced that he felt could have really effected me if you would draw more so you can hopefully understand better and give the analysis I’d appreciate it (2/2)

My usual gibberish under the cut. So sorry this took me literally forever Eridan. Upside: You are the first read with my new Crow deck! Woo.

So, let me preface this by reassuing you that you'll get my usual text wall of thoughts, as I used to do prior to my decision to nix that for the time being until I can find my energy allotments again. This was requested long before that, and so you'll get that.

But hopefully you'll get a good giggle out of this deck throwing a card that basically told me to STOP because I am so tired. Yes. I am aware of this deck. Thank you very much for showing me that you work, but I have to work. (Please note that there is no need to feel bad about this; I thought it was funny, and I want to do these readings FINALLY-- I am just also very tired, personal shit, etcetc whatever. We been knew, Rox shut up. /lh)

As for your reading though.

Your view on the relationship - Reversed The Lovers (Self-love, disharmony, imbalance, misalignment of values.)

Their view on the relationship - Reversed The Emperor (Domination, excessive control, lack of discipline, inflexibility.)

The relationship (an overview) - Reversed Temperance (Imbalance, excess, self-healing, re-alignment.)

So... I see the ongoing theme here. I do not like the ongoing theme here. (/lh) It's a very clear sign, and I don't think there's really much I can say that you can't put together yourself (or that you haven't already put together yourself). However, as per my previous promise, my take on this whole... Ordeal.

The self-destructive tendencies you mentioned are very clear and evident in Reversed Lovers, and I am lead to believe that coupled with Reversed Temperance that perhaps it was worse-off than you thought it was. However, in that same breath, this relationship seems a bit paradoxical to me because the Reversed Temperance here also indicates that this relationship was helping you.

Kanrki's card interests me the most here, however. I am not sure what he would have stood to gain from this relationship, but I feel that this card shows how much you put into him, and perhaps incidentally, how much control you gave him over you? I could still see it more as his views and thoughts about you in this situation as well, but these are all shots in the dark and my best estimates.

Still... This one is definitely a headscratcher whilst being an eye-opener. I have several questions, but it's not my business (nor do I expect you to have answers haha).

Hoped this helped Eridan. Sorry it took me so long.

(Addendum: This deck continues to sass me. As I was putting your reading back onto my stack to reshuffle, I noticed the top card was askew and I make sure my stacks are EVEN before I do my overviews. The card that was off makes me feel like I was relatively accurate here.)

#mod rox #tarot #eridan kin #kankri kin #homestuck #homestuck kin #hiveswap #hiveswap kin #This turned into a fucking novel I am SO SORRY.

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adorerdraco · 4 years

Text

Not My Type (Like You) ✧ Draco x Reader

Request: you should like do a one shot or even another mini series about amortentia/love potions in general. i’d soooo read that

AU SEVENTH YEAR WHERE VOLDY NEVER CAME BACK <3 f**k that mf !

italics are for flashbacks <3 i love them if you couldn’t tell

Warnings: mean!draco, cursing, more mature themes/ideas, little bit of spice towards the end teehee but not too much bc idk how to write smut to save my life

Words: 4.5K

A/N: I saw a tiktok that kinda inspired this and i couldn’t get the idea out of my heaaaad if anyone knows which one im talking ab send it my way so i can show !!!! ALSO I LOVE THIS ONESHOT I LOVE DRACO AND I AM IN MY FEELINGS this might be my new favoriteeeee

Draco Malfoy was insufferable.

The Prince of Slytherin was unbearable for many reasons, things you've been taking notice of since your first year at Hogwarts when you accidentally had the ”pleasure” of interacting with him when he called you stupid in a class for reciting a spell incorrectly. That day, a hostility blossomed. A hostility that ensued nothing but teasing, mocking, and criticizing that would sometimes go too far and you'd both have to be pulled away from each other by your friends’ before either of you said anything excessively harsh that had no return.

You often felt like Malfoy sought you out to bother you and only for that. You could be sitting in the Quad with friends, conversing and laughing like nothing in the world mattered, and a few minutes later you'd be hurling insults towards the blond across the courtyard after he would yell something infuriating to you with that smug smirk on his face and his goons laughing wildly beside him as if he just said the most hilarious thing they've ever heard.

On the days you’d ignore him, not having the patience or the energy to deal with him, he would still somehow find a way to push your buttons. Little things here and there like passing you in the corridors and tugging at the ends of your hair gingerly like a child but enough to tick you off or sending you notes from across the class in the form a small fluttering bird with a lousy drawing of you usually with a message along the lines of, “Y/L/N, hopefully, this note finds itself in the nest of hair you have today xx DM.”

In all honesty, there wasn’t a day you didn’t encounter Draco and it’s been that way for seven long years. Neither of you ever gotten tired of mildly or spitefully bullying each other and neither of you ever dreamed of stopping. He was one of the few constants in your daily life, and you in his. It was like you both lived on annoying the other, and in the midst of all the chaos that you brought to one another; there was a small, teeny, tiny acquaintance - not that either of you would ever admit it. You may have noticed it the time you bet each other ten galleons for who would win in the Triwizard Tournament your fourth year and he bet on Viktor Krum while you on Cedric Diggory. (he’s very much alive i refuse to think otherwise.)

“So you’re telling me, your mother is the reason why you’re not at Durmstrang,” you scoffed. “This whole time I could have been saved four years of headaches.”

“You’re just jealous some of us have more opportunities than others,” he snarks back pompously. “Unlike you, I hardly believe you would be graceful enough to even be considered admission into Beauxbatons.”

You had gone to see the last task of the competition just like the rest of the schools, all packed tightly onto the stands and watching carefully the exit of the maze. Naturally, you had arrived with your own friend groups, but somewhere during the time of sitting there and even being a few rows behind the blond and his minions, the two of you had met in the middle bench after he was trying to prove something wrong to you.

When Cedric appeared back in front of the stands with the glowing Triwizard cup held high over his head in victory and every Hogwarts student loudly celebrating, you had jumped up from your seat and shook wildly an irked Draco beside you. He roughly shrugged your hands off his stiff shoulder, looking up at you with a sneer that you met with a bright beaming smile.

“Pay up, Malfoy!” You held out your hand towards him, opening and closing your fingers to receive the bet money. “I believe it was ten galleons you owe me.”

He begrudgingly reached into his coat pocket and fished out the coins, counting them defeatedly before tossing them into your palm. “What a waste of galleons.”

“Hey, you made the bet,” you reminded him with a still very bright smile. You shoved the money into your pockets, keeping one of the gold coins in between your fingers, and gave him a small hair ruffle that he harshly recoiled from before you turned to jump back up towards the level of stands your friends were originally sitting at.

“Were you really sitting with Malfoy this whole time?” One of your friends questioned when you reached them, a goading smirk on his face.

“Ooooh, she definitely was,” another friend piped up, wiggling her eyebrows. “They’re obsessed with each other.”

“Shut up,” you smack her arm casually, showing the pair the one gold galleon you were holding. “We are not. I was only sitting with him to get my bet money.”

“Sure,” they drawled in unison, sniggering when you threw your head back in annoyance.

You looked down the rows to see the mop of white hair you just sent into disarray. He was slowly descending the stairs of the stands with Crabbe and Goyle following closely behind him. Almost as if he felt your eyes on his back, he turned back to look at you, his cold gray eyes gazing into yours. It was like everything around you went quiet, the only thing in your focus was him and all you could do was stare back. It wasn’t until your friends started stifling laughter and whispering “aww’s” that you snapped out of the short-lived and odd few second trance you were in. He waited for you to do something before he turned back around, and you did - by holding up both hands; the one golden galleon on your left and your middle finger on your right, grinning to yourself when he rolled his eyes throwing you the finger right back before he finally disappeared into the mob of people below.

You were briskly walking down the corridors, books held tightly to your chest with your friend at your side while you made your way to Advanced Potions with Slughorn after Snape finally made his way into the DADA position. It was an easy class, potions being something you had a knack for and it gave you enough leisure to mess with your “favorite” Slytherin who shared it with you.

“Look there goes your boyfriend,” your friend teases, elbowing your upper arm roughly and nodding her head down towards the hall to the tall blond appearing around the corner and entering swiftly into the class.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you hiss. “I’m tired of everyone saying that. I hate him and he hates me, end of story.”

“You know when you say you hate him, it just sounds like the opposite,” she says tauntingly. “Besides, hate is a strong word and very misplaced. Maybe, it’s just years of built-up tension that both of you have been too nervous to do anything about.”

“Tension? Yeah, I want to strangle him,” you laugh to yourself at the thought.

“Not that tension, idiot,” she shakes her head, “I mean sexual tension...clearly.”

You gave her a horrified look mixed between being disgusted and being offended. You held your hand over your mouth and pretended to gag as dramatically as you could. “I am appalled that you would even say that. I would rather be locked in a room with Filch and Peeves and hear them argue and fight all day than to be with Malfoy like that.”

“Come on, think about it,” she encourages, stopping the two of you a little ways away from the classroom. “You guys 'hate' each other?” She finger quotes the hate, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. “When you hate someone, you don’t go out of your way to talk to them every day.”

“It’s not like that,” you wave a hand dismissively. “Also, this isn’t a cliche, this is real life. We hate each other, that is all there is to it.”

You picked up the walk again, your friend to following behind you while letting out a deep and exhausted sigh. You couldn’t help but think about what she said, sure, perhaps at one point you thought Draco was attractive with his bright silver hair, his glittering gray eyes, his little button nose that he would crinkle up every other word he spoke in his charming haughty voice, or the way he’d tower over you in the middle of a conversation gone wrong and he’d be talking lowly to you but all you’d be able to focus on was the sweet scent of apples and cologne that radiated off of him.

“No,” you whispered almost silently to yourself, forcing yourself out of your thoughts and shaking your head from side to side as if it was going to get the image out of your head. He was mean, disrespectful, arrogant, and insulted you daily - even if you both laughed about it or gave props for the perfect jabs.

The first thing your eyes landed on when you walked into the dingy Potions classroom was Draco, his focus trained on the ceiling as if he was deep in thought. Just as his eyes were about to flicker down towards you, and sensing that he was about to, you quickly avoided his gaze and concentrated onto Slughorn who was waiting patiently by his desk with a bubbling cauldron for you and your friend to join the crowd in front of him.

“Great! Now that we’re all here,” Slughorn began excitedly, fixing the sleeves of his robes as he grabbed the ladle in the cauldron and began stirring it while continuing his lecture.

You were trying to listen, capturing only the professor’s last sentence as he called on someone who raised their hand. All attention was thrown out the window when you realized Draco was standing near said classmate, a look of annoyance suddenly clouding his features when his pale eyes met yours.

“What?” He mouthed. You ignored him, trying to turn your concentration back onto Slughorn but nothing he was saying made sense, and right as you caught a word you did understand, a shuffling and an abrupt arm knocking into yours threw you right back out of the loop.

“Watch it,” you snap hushedly when you notice who it is. “Why are you over here?”

“I can’t say hello to my number one fan?” He whispers back, snickering slightly when you scoffed quietly.

“Fan? Says the one who shoved his way through the crowd to come over here,” you grumble, crossing your arms.

“I hardly shoved,” he mutters. “I only moved because I couldn’t see Slughorn from where I was standing. Not everything’s about you.”

“Really? Because to me, it seemed like you came over here for my attention.”

He let out a breathy chuckle, a patronizing smile making its way onto his face. The type of typical boy smile where his mouth is half agape with his tongue smoothing over his teeth as he stared off across the room with his fingertips rubbing thoughtfully against his jawline as he thought of what to say. You stood still as he bent down, nearing his mouth towards your ear and whispering hotly, “you wish, darling.”

Slughorn sent everyone to their paired tables, and as everyone began moving and Draco sauntered off away from you, you stood stuck there, shocked with the lingering chills that were sent down your spine from your archnemesis’ comment.

“I told you, you’re into each other,” your friend sang expectantly from behind you, grabbing onto your sleeve and directing the two of you towards your table.

You were working peacefully at your workspace, cutting up, peeling, and crushing the ingredients that your friend was sliding across the surface to you. In the table behind you was where Draco was working annoyingly quiet, tossing the stripped stems of the roses at you that you had to peel, tiny thorns pricking at your ankles through your socks since the bigger thorns had been taken off for the potion. As payback, you would throw back loose extra pearl dust you ground up, giggling tauntingly when he would frown at you for getting the coarse white powder all over his Italian leather shoes and most definitely inside of them as well.

When you, and seemingly the rest of the class, had finally thrown in all the ingredients and the potion promptly finished brewing, beautiful clouds of white and pink smoke began rising from the cauldrons, each one having a lovely scent of first; freshly pressed high-priced linens, then a faint smell of a brand new racing broom out of a box with a freshly polished wood handle that then quickly transformed into a sweet harvest of apples, green specifically, and finally...

“Ugh, gross,” you pinched your nostrils closed, turning your body around and sending a scowl towards Draco’s way. “Malfoy, we get it, your cologne is expensive, now stop spraying it. I was smelling all these wonderful things and you ruined it.”

He arched an eyebrow at you, looking at you as if you were crazy. “Are you mad? I didn��t spray anything, I think you’ve finally lost it.”

“Well you laid it on too heavy this morning then, it reeks in here.”

“You’re one to talk, Y/L/N. Did you bathe yourself in that dreadful perfume you wear just now? And that ghastly lip shiner thing you use,” He sneers, crinkling up his nose. “I can’t even think straight, I might vomit.”

“Lip shiner? It’s called lip balm, you prat,” you retort, crossing your arms angrily. “Either way, I haven’t used or sprayed anything either so-”

“For Merlin’s sake!” Your friend suddenly exasperated loudly from beside you making you briskly whirl around to look at her, a look of pure annoyance etched onto her face. “Are you two really that daft? Honestly? Have you been paying attention to anything other than each other? For instance, the potion we just made?”

This gained the attention of your classmates around you in the surrounding tables, turning their heads slightly but not obviously with small knowing smirks on their faces while they snickered quietly and listened. It was soundless as you reached towards the book in front of your friend, pulling it painstakingly slow towards you in fear of the words that were written on the open page.

“Amortentia,” you muttered glumly as you read the page, pushing it away from you dejectedly as everything began to click.

“The reason you’re both smelling each other is because you’re what the other desires and is attracted to. Wow, what a revelation! As if the whole school didn’t already know.”

You were afraid to turn around. You could feel the cold and hard pair of eyes burning holes onto your back and the immediate amount of whispers and giggles of the people around you. Luckily, Slughorn was busy at the other end of the room, working diligently with another pair of students who managed to mess up their potion.

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Draco announces finally.

“What’s so ridiculous about it?” You questioned, your heart falling to the pit of your stomach when you turned again and took notice of the way his lips were curling upwards as if it was the most disgusting thing he could have ever heard.

“Think about it, Y/L/N,” he deadpans. “Why would I ever desire someone like you?”

There had been occasions over the years when you were in this situation. None as drastic and as revealing, but there would be times when friends and others would poke fun and say the exact same thing your friend told you earlier. The usual, “they got the hots for each other!” and you would always brush it off and joke about how you could never, and he’d do the same. It was always amongst laughs and jokes, but as you looked at the Slytherin in front of you - there wasn’t a hint of amusement on his hardened face.

“Piss off, Malfoy,” you seethed, biting down hard on your lip to refrain from lashing out either in tears or in insults, you couldn’t decide. “If I’m so revolting, leave me alone from now on, I mean it.”

“I never said that,” he argues. “You’re just simply not my type.”

For some eerie, awful reason, the words tore into you like a sharpened knife going easily through butter. You were used to his insults, his mocking, his comments about your appearances - but this hurt, and you couldn’t explain why. You thought, for a second, possibly, that maybe your friend was right. Maybe there was a hidden attraction you had for the platinum blond that you buried deep away and one that he had for you. There was no way that was the case now, not at all.

And for the first time in your life, you couldn’t be more sure of a simple little fact.

You hated him.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You don’t know how long you spent sitting in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, back against the cold tiled wall with your knees brought up to your chest. Your friends had tried to console you after the public rejection and humiliation, but their words only made you feel worse. You felt silly for being so bothered about being rejected by Malfoy, he wasn’t exactly someone you fancied, to begin with.

After dinner, you went off the grid and found yourself where you’re now sitting. The ghostly girl flew restlessly around you, popping out of her stall now and then to chat but then going back into her abyss of nothing when she learned you were still upset. You noticed it made her a little too pleased, considering the fact it was always her who was miserably wailing about her problems in the bathroom. She tried to hide it and let you talk to her about how you felt, but she gave terrible advice most of the time.

“Well, if it was me, I would have never started fancying someone who was mean to me,” she mumbled. “Like when Paul Wighorn made fun of my hair for a whole year and laughed when I cried. I hated his guts then and I still do now.”

She had a point, but she was also Myrtle. Nothing about the overly dramatic ghost made sense.

“I don’t fancy him, It’s just weird,” you trail off. “I can’t imagine a day without him, even if he is a complete arse. We always joked about how we hated each other, but I didn’t think he actually meant it, I guess.”

“I think you do fancy him, though,” she whispers knowingly in your ear, making you flinch from her cold draft. “Stop denying it, it’ll only keep making you feel worse. Amortentia doesn’t lie, silly. Maybe when you drink it, but before that, all real feelings are there, whether you know it or not.”

You sat quietly, taking in her words before something came crashing down onto you like a wall of bricks.

“I suppose that means he’ll have to stop denying it too,” she adds thoughtfully.

“Myrtle,” you rush to get up, smoothing your hair down profusely and fixing the wrinkles in your clothes. “You’re a genius.”

“I am?” She asks excitedly. “What did I say?”

You waved her off, giving her another thank you before rushing out of the bathroom and into the empty corridors. You were trying to go back to your dorm to sleep, hoping that when tomorrow came you would be bold enough to confront the Slytherin Prince but it was thirty minutes past curfew, something you didn’t notice until you were bustling down the steps in a rush and came face to face with the man of the hour himself doing his Prefect patrolling duties.

“Go to your dorm, Y/L/N,” he sneers. “I’ll take away house points, don’t test me,”

“I don’t believe you.”

“That I’ll take away house points? Watch me. Five-”

“No, you twat,” you groan, swatting his arm with your hand. “I don’t believe that I’m not your type.”

He stayed wordless for a moment, biting the inside of his cheeks and clenching his jaw as he peered down at you from his lanky height. “Why not?”

“Because I didn’t think you were my type until the amortentia made me aware of it,” you answer quietly. “Actually, my friend had a hand in it, but it was mostly the potion.”

Silence, again. Still and deadly. You could hear the large clocks around the school tick and tock, the hundreds of paintings snoring peacefully or chattering quietly. You avoided looking up at the boy in front of you, all of a sudden feeling small under his gaze until you felt cold fingers brush against your cheekbone and then softly through your hair causing you to finally look up into the soft wandering almost blue eyes.

“I didn’t find out with the amortentia,” he muttered almost reluctantly as if it was the most difficult thing he had to reveal. “I’ve known I’ve liked you for a while.”

“How long is a while?” You curiously wonder aloud.

“I’m not telling,” he smirks. “Perhaps you’ll figure it out one day.”

Both hands came up to rest on your cheeks, slightly cold but soft and tender. It sent chills throughout your body as he took a step closer to you and then closer, backing you carefully into the diagonally ascending stone wall that went in the direction of the stairs. Your breathing was getting uneven, you noticed the way you accidentally switched to manually forcing yourself to inhale and exhale normally when he leaned down with his face now being mere centimeters from yours. It was torture, having your eyes closed and feeling the way his nose was brushing against yours, minty breath warm against your lips as he ghosted over them with his. He was so close, you smelt everything that was in the damn potion that got you here. It sent flutters of warmth down your body, trickling down and seeping deeply into every bone in your body as if this is was the remedy its been needing. This is what you’ve been missing.

When you finally felt a soft pair of lips being pressed into yours, it felt almost unreal that you were there. It was awkward the first couple of seconds, both of you wondering how in the world had you gotten yourselves in this position, but after you relaxed and he found his Prince of Slytherin confidence - it was magic. His lips moved languidly against yours, affectionately and full of longing. He kept his hands on your cheeks, still timid to move anywhere else while you kept yours resting lightly on his sides. It scared you a little, how fast and how easily you melted into each other, like if this was something you’ve been doing with him for years rather than torment the other for laughs.

You hated the feeling when he pulled away, a gust of freezing castle air passing through the space between you and cooling your lips and face from his contact. His hands dropped down to his sides and he looked down at you with a small smile, a teeny bit smug, but happy. You wanted to feel the same way, but a question still loomed over your head, overpowering the giddiness you were vividly feeling.

“Why did you lie earlier?” You question softly, directing your gaze to the floor. “In class, I mean.”

He thought about his answer for a second, sighing deeply when he realized he had to uncover more truths about himself to you. You took a mental observation at that, he didn’t like to talk about feelings. “You didn’t say anything. Didn’t even look at me. I thought I’d beat you to it and reject you before you could reject me.”

“What made you think I’d reject you?” You coaxed. “Other than the fact that I made you a sworn enemy at eleven.”

“Exactly that,” he laughed lightly. “You’re unpredictable, Y/N.”

You smiled to yourself at the realization that he finally used your first name. “So are you, Draco.”

“Not really,” he grins. “Like in just a few moments, for example, I’m going to start snogging you.”

You opened your mouth to encourage him but shut it quickly when he closed the space between the two of you again, this time much closer than he was before. He was flush against you, and when you say you could feel everything; you could feel everything. You were almost begging for him to lean down and kiss you again by the time you felt his hands on you again, running delicately around the exposed skin of your hips when your shirt hiked up an inch on accident. He leaned down again, and with the advantage of his lowered height, you let your hands slide up his arms, biceps, and ultimately the nape of his neck where your fingers continued up into his hair. The breathiest gasp escaped his throat as you tugged at the ends gently, smirking to yourself when he closed his eyes in delight at the touch.

His lips came down onto your fast this time and hastily, pressing himself impossibly closer into you. You could feel his grip tighten against your hips, his hold moving upwards onto your waist as he continued to kiss you fervently. His teeth bit down softly on your bottom lip and you wasted no time in parting them slightly for his tongue to meet yours. You tugged at the platinum strands of hair again, feeling triumphant when a low groaning sound emitted from his throat at the sensation as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss further.

You knew you were done for when one of his hands slowly slid up your upper body, stopping first at your collarbones with warm fingertips fluttering over the skin, before he moved it upwards completely and he now had his large hand wrapped comfortably around your neck. You gasped in delight into the kiss, a swarm of butterflies going directly to your lower stomach as he squeezed against the artery in your neck meticulously, the coldness from his Malfoy family crest ring only adding fuel to the fire. He tore his mouth away from yours with his hand still clutched firmly around your throat and you were almost sent into orbit with the look he was giving you. A look filled with desire, adoration, and intensity - his pale gray eyes were much darker, almost a dark blue that resembled the starry night sky on a summer night.

Lips reattached themselves roughly and feverishly against your jawline, peppering long and tender kisses all the way towards your ear and then down towards your collarbones where he was beginning to undo the rest of the top buttons of your school dress shirt. You felt him smile against your hot skin when you’d writhe underneath him, emitting weak whimpers that you couldn’t hold back that he ended up having to clasp a free hand over your mouth as he whispered into your ear to stay quiet.

It didn’t matter that you were in the middle of a poorly lit corridor where anyone could walk past and see the frenzy that was unfolding, nor did it matter to Draco that his Prefect duties were long forgotten. Your friend was right, and everyone else for that matter; it wasn’t hate you felt for the blond at all, it was years and years of a craving and a hidden yearning packed with displaced tension.

And now, you were both exactly where you wanted to be; together.

8K notes · View notes

bitsandbobsofwriting · 3 years

Text

Merlin Scar Reveal Part 2(final part)

Merlin tries to pretend nothing happened, Arthur says “that’s stupid.”

Part 1

Merlin’s nightmares last for the rest of the afternoon and extend well into the night.

The heat certainly doesn’t help, and it takes all of Gaius’ effort to keep his temperature low enough to not boil him from the inside out, but he manages with help from the knights. Mordred and Lancelot refuse to leave the servant’s side of course, but the others loiter in the corridor the entire time, and take turns sprinting to the cold store and kitchens for ice water and cloths.

It was difficult to stand there waiting, being given scraps of information on Merlin’s condition, especially when most of the scraps consist of something along the lines of “Hopefully he’ll snap out of it by the morning.”, which was certainly not helped when the occasional whimper floated out to them from the young servant’s room.

After a few hours, Leon was the one to draw the short straw to go and talk to Arthur. Whilst all of them were mildly miffed that Arthur had pushed Merlin so far, they knew that ultimately, it was all of their faults. All of them had pushed him, and none of them had protected him from being injured in the first place. None of them knew how much he had suffered, was still suffering. Considering Arthur’s... extra feelings for his servant, it was no wonder he’d reacted even worse than the others.

The First Knight agrees to go, knowing he had the best chance of talking some sense into The King, though he refuses to leave until he sees each of the others settle in their beds; it had been a long day, and would likely be an even longer day tomorrow. They all need as much sleep as they can get.

Arthur doesn’t answer when Leon knocks on his door, but the knight lets himself in after a few moment regardless, doing so quietly so as not to startle the man if he was asleep or, more likely, deep in thought.

The King was sat at his desk, chin resting on his hands, and Leon has to stamp down the surge of protective adrenaline in his lungs when he sees the dry tear tracks on the younger man’s face. He doesn’t notice Leon’s presence, not even when he very deliberately clears his throat, so the knight walks over to him slowly, rapping his knuckles harshly on the desk. That finally catches Arthur’s attention, and he looks up with a start, hands reaching for the sword that Leon knows he has hidden under the desk.

The King lets out a deep breath and relaxes back in his seat when he sees that it’s just Leon, hastily wiping his eyes before clearing his throat and looking up with a fake confidence:

“Sir Leon, what can I do for you?”

Leon just raises an eyebrow, but when Arthur holds strong and doesn’t react he lets out a deep sigh and collapses into the seat on the other side of the desk:

“Come on, Arthur. We need to talk about this.”

Arthur gulps, trying to keep his unaffected façade up, but failing and dropping it after only a few moments; something about the soft, overly concerned look Leon was giving him made him want to wrap himself in blankets and sob himself to sleep. He frowns and just about manages to keep the tears in:

“Why wouldn’t he tell me? If not about the physical scars, then about all the times he’s been hurt. Does he not think I would’ve given him time to recover? Or, God forbid, helped him?”

Leon purses his lips slightly in thought, still having to make a concerted effort not to gather The King up in a tight hug as he considers his questions:

“I don’t think it’s about you, Arthur. Merlin is... a private person by nature, and he doesn’t like worrying people. You heard Mordred, he and Lance found out by accident, and even then Merlin tried to keep them away from it as long as possible.”

Arthur stands, the guilt and sadness in his gut now frothing with anger as well. He paces around to the centre of the room and Leon stands to watch him carefully:

“He can say it’s not about me as much as he wants, but I’m The King, Leon,-”

He whirls on the knight, and Leon clenches his jaw, resisting the urge to raise a mocking eyebrow. He knew to expect anger at some point, but that doesn’t mean Arthur was entitled to it:

“-I have a right to know what’s going on in my Kingdom. I should’ve been informed of Nimueh and Morgause’s deaths, I should’ve been informed that Cenred was torturing people for information. How many other countless adventures has Merlin had that have put himself, Me, the Kingdom in danger, simply because he didn’t want people to know much about him?? None of that was his call to make.”

Leon does raise an eyebrow at that, but Arthur was too busy furiously pacing to feel scolded quite yet. The older man crosses his arms and huffs slightly, waiting for The King to calm before responding:

“Be that as it may, that’s not why you’re angry. You can lie to yourself, Arthur, but you can’t lie to me, and you certainly shouldn’t lie to Merlin. If you go to him pretending that you’re angry because he put the Kingdom at risk, and not because you’re heartbroken at him having suffered so much, then he’ll never forgive you. And when you realise that, you’ll never forgive yourself.”

Arthur looks to Leon sharply, but the anger drains from his face within seconds and his whole body sags slightly, the exhaustion of the day having caught up to him. A glance to the now dark window tells him that it’s well into the evening, but he can’t find it in himself to be annoyed at the unfinished paperwork on his desk or the hunger in his stomach from not having eaten since before noon, not when he knows Merlin is being tortured by nightmares and injuries that have long since healed. Injuries that he should never have had in the first place. Leon waits patiently for Arthur to respond:

“I don’t want him to be in pain. I just want to help him.”

His cracking admission has Leon give up on holding himself back, and he strides towards The King to pull him into a tight embrace. Arthur tenses at first, but quickly falls into the older man’s affection, accepting a hug for the first time since he was a child. Leon responds softly, aware that he only had a short time before Arthur pulled away and put his walls back up:

“Merlin’s already in pain, Arthur, but that doesn’t mean we can’t now help him.-”

He feels Arthur nod into his shoulder and squeezes the man tighter for a moment before pulling back, keeping a tight grip on The King’s shoulders:

“Come on, you need to get some sleep.”

Arthur’s tired, longing gaze moves to the paperwork spread haphazardly over his desk, and Leon shakes his head, tugging Arthur’s shoulders so he looks back at him:

“No, work isn’t an option, your mind is not in any sort of state to be productive right now. You’re exhausted, Arthur, a few hours of sleep will do you some good; I hate to say it but The Kingdom won’t stop needing attention whilst we... sort through this, and you’ll need the energy tomorrow.”

Arthur shakes his head, stepping back and rubbing his eyes tiredly as he takes a deep breath and straightens his back. Leon steps back as well, re-introducing the respectful distance that should be between a King and his Knight, waiting for Arthur’s no doubt stoic response:

“The councilmen will survive without me for a day or two, if not then that really should be something I’m made aware of so I can get to replacing them. Merlin and I need to...-”

He cuts himself off and clears his throat:

“-has there been any news? Any change?”

Leon shakes his head, but catches Arthur’s wrist when he begins walking towards the door:

“Arthur. I just about managed to convince everyone else to get some sleep and you need it more than them.-”

Arthur looks back indignantly, failing to portray his Kingly Anger in his exhaustion and looking more like a scolded child:

“-You know I’m right. Get some sleep, Gaius will inform you if anything changes.”

For a moment, it looks like Arthur wants to argue, but he quickly lets out a deep, bone weary sigh, nodding before moving sluggishly towards his bed. Leon nods approvingly, muttering a soft “Goodnight, My Lord” and smiling slightly at Arthur’s hummed response before quietly exiting the chambers.

Arthur can convince himself, for a few blissful seconds, that it was all a bad dream when he wakes up the next morning.

His curtains are thrown wide open; the sunlight streams in and forces The young King to groan and roll over, attempting to shield his eyes from the brightness. Merlin’s cheery voice echoes throughout the various chambers:

“Come on, Sire, up and at ‘em!”

Arthur just grumbles a slurred “Fuck off.” before his brain wakes up and he throws himself from the bed, thankfully wearing sleep clothes but only just managing to catch himself on the bedside table before he falls over:

“Merlin!! What the hell are you- are you ok?! Did Gaius say you could get up?!”

Merlin looks back at him with the same disapproving, mocking glare he usually uses in the morning; Arthur is taken aback at the darkness in his eyes. He can’t quite decide if it made it’s first appearance this morning, or if it had always been there and he just hadn’t noticed. He doesn’t know which idea he hates more:

“I’m fine, Arthur, no need to worry about me. And for your information, I’m a fully trained physician, I don’t need Gaius telling me what I can and can’t do.-”

He rolls his eyes and turns to The King’s desk with a huff, gesturing at the mess:

“-It’s flattering that you rely on me so much Arthur, but really, this is ridiculous.”

Arthur is finally broken out of his shocked stupor, shaking his head disbelievingly and taking a few short steps towards his manservant. He goes to yell but quickly backtracks, snapping his mouth shut and taking a deep breath before trying again, softly this time:

“Merlin... we have to talk about yesterday.”

Merlin’s reaction is immediate and harsh. The quill that he had picked up from Arthur’s desk snaps in his sudden tight grip and the tension in his shoulders is painful looking. He freezes for just a moment before forcing himself to relax, casually throwing the broken quill into a waste basket before continuing to organise the desk, refusing to look up at The King:

“No, we really don’t. I’m fine, My Lord.”

The lack of sarcasm or sass in Arthur’s title worries The King greatly, but the way Merlin regains more and more of the tension in his shoulders the closer Arthur walks to him is even more worrying:

“Merlin... look at me.-”

The servant gulps, biting his lip at he stares at the desk for a few more moments before forcing himself to look up. He recoils slightly at the tears in Arthur’s eyes, but doesn’t allow himself to look away. Arthur opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by the door to his chambers opening with a bang as Mordred and Lancelot rush in. They’re both red-faced and panting, speaking at the same time:

“I swear to the Gods if he snuck out of bed to work, I’ll-”

“I apologise My Lord, I don’t suppose you’ve seen-”

They both freeze as they see Merlin stood behind Arthur’s desk, paperwork crumpled in his tight grip and face fallen into a annoyed frown. Arthur throws his hands up, frustrated as he paces and mumbles:

"Just... come in why don’t you. No, don’t worry about knocking just run on in like you own the damn place.”

Lancelot spares him a quick glance but locks the door behind him and crosses his arms like an angry mother as he looks to the irate servant:

“Merlin, we’ve talked about this, you’re meant to take the morning off after a bad night, Gaius says-”

Merlin just rolls his eyes and turns away, interrupting Lancelot’s scolding as he continues to tidy around the room, his annoyance evident in his harsh tone and hurried movements:

“I’m a physician too, and I say I’m fine. I would like to just... get on with things, please.”

Arthur has to stop himself from recoiling at the way Lance and Mordred’s faces fall, the pain and grief sadder than anything he’s ever seen in their expressions before. He takes a moment to think before giving the two of them a pointed look and quietly asking:

“Can you give us a minute?”

Lancelot looks doubtful, but willing. Mordred plants his feet and crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow. He doesn’t say anything, but it’s obvious he has no intention of leaving Merlin’s side; as much as Arthur finds that admirable on a personal level, as King it’s unacceptable. He’s normally not a fan of pulling rank among friends, but maybe that’s because he normally doesn’t need to. Perhaps this whole mess was his fault, Mordred obviously felt so, but Arthur could hardly fix it with them glaring over his shoulder. He raises himself to his full height, a good few inches above Mordred, and uses the tone of voice he normally reserves for particularly difficult councilmen:

“You forget whose presence you are in, Sir Mordred, you’d do well to remember again. You are both dismissed.”

Mordred’s eyes go wide and he takes in a sharp breath, but after a quick glance to Merlin’s turned back he dutifully bows and walks from the room stiffly. Lancelot’s postures straightens as well, and he follows Mordred after a confident:

“We’ll be in Gaius’ chambers should you require anything, My Lord.”

Merlin was oblivious to the conversation, though Arthur reckons he was deliberately ignoring it as opposed to being actually unaware, especially with the way the servant’s shoulders relax when the door shuts behind the second knight.

Arthur sighs as Merlin continues to putter around the room, refusing to look him in the eye; he leans against the edge of the desk and crosses his arms:

“Merlin,-”

His voice is soft, but the servant still doesn’t look at him, giving a non-committal hum as he clears out the hearth with shaking hands:

“-come here, please.”

Merlin freezes for just a moment, and if the problem wasn’t so glaringly the context of the situation, Arthur may have been able to fool himself into believing that Merlin was just shocked he said please. The younger man stands slowly, turning to walk towards Arthur with his gaze stuck to the floor. He stops with about five feet of space between them and Arthur sighs again, closing the gap until only a few inches separates them. The King ignores the tears gathering in both of their eyes as he lifts a hesitating hand, dropping it softly on Merlin’s shoulder only when the servant doesn’t flinch away:

“Merlin, I... you mean a great deal to me, and I know I don’t say that often enough, or at all, really. You... look after me, keep me alive and unhurt, evidently more than I had originally thought. You make me a good King, and a better man.-”

Merlin looks up at him sharply and Arthur can tell that he’s about to argue, so he squeezes his shoulder and quickly hurries on:

“-You’ve been hurt, you’ve suffered in your service to me, and that’s unacceptable but it’s also my fault; I should’ve made it clear that I would protect you from anything. These scars prove your strength, but I understand not wanting to acknowledge them, so I promise I will never ask again. You tell me when you’re ready, and if that’s never, then that’s completely fine.-”

Merlin seems surprised by the promise, and the tears slowly dripping from his wide eyes just make Arthur regret yesterday even more. After a second or two of shock, Merlin visibly relaxes, relieved with the knowledge that he doesn’t have to expect the conversation that he really doesn’t want to have. Arthur gives him a weak smile before continuing:

“-I’m sorry, but I’m also grateful. Thank you, Merlin. But...-”

Merlin re-tenses at the “but” and Arthur squeezes his shoulder again, giving him what he hopes is a reassuring smile:

“-please don’t keep doing this alone. I... I don’t expect you to ask me for help, though I would drop anything in a heartbeat to keep you safe. Even... even if it’s Gwaine, just... I don’t want you disappearing off to save the Kingdom only to never come back again because no one knows where you are.”

Merlin smiles weakly at the disdain in Arthur’s voice when he mentions Gwaine, but quickly frowns again and looks at the floor. He gaze stays lowered when he asks his one word question, his voice quiet and ragged:

“Anything?”

Arthur frowns for a second, confused about what Merlin was asking, but quickly realises, lifting the other man’s chin with his hand, his voice a whisper:

“Merlin, I would give up the Kingdom to rid you of the burden you’ve place upon yourself. I just want you safe and happy and by my side.”

Merlin once again looks like he wants to argue, but a quiet sob falls from his mouth instead and Arthur, damning the consequences and his stupid reputation, pulls the younger man into a tight hug, cradling his head into his shoulder and running a soft hand up and down his back. A few tears of his own slip free but he finds he doesn’t care that much as Merlin shakes in his arms; he presses a barely-there kiss to Merlin’s temple and begins swaying slightly on the spot, wanting more than anything to take away his servant’s pain.

Merlin’s cries slow to a stop after what feels like hours, but Arthur doesn’t let go quite yet, eyeing the unmade bed over Merlin’s shoulder with eagerness, knowing that neither he nor Merlin had slept well last night. He feels Merlin stifle yawn against his shoulder and that just strengthens his resolve; he squeezes the younger man to get his attention and then speaks quietly:

“Reckon the council can survive without me later?”

Merlin clears his throat and responds, but still doesn’t let go:

“Doubtful, but Leon and Morgana could probably whip them into shape. Why?”

Arthur nods and pulls back, frowning at the slight panic in Merlin’s eyes when he steps away but doesn’t mention it, letting his hand slide down from the servant’s shoulder to grip his hand. Merlin visibly relaxes, but still looks confused as Arthur tugs him towards the bed gently; he allows himself to be pushed to sit on the edge and looks up at Arthur questioningly. The blond stops himself from grinning widely at the trust in his expression, instead turning away to shut the curtains and lock the door as he says:

“Shoes and belt off, I fancy a nap, how about you?”

He was expecting an argument, so he's surprised when he turns back to the bed to see Merlin softly smiling as he sets his shoes and belt on the bedside table neatly. They both climb under the covers wordlessly, and Merlin doesn’t hesitate to curl into Arthur’s side when he holds his arms out to him.

The King holds his servant close, tucking his head against his chest and burying his chin in his soft hair, his arms wound around Merlin tightly. Merlin closes his eyes without issue, finding himself unafraid of the darkness or the nightmares or the firm touch against his back for the first time since his collection of scars began.

The warrior sleeps, plagued by nothing but pleasant dreams and the warmth of a protection he knows he can trust.

THE END!!

That took me FOREVER to write, writer’s block really does suck, but I’m glad I finally got it finished. I feel like it’s a little underwhelming, but I hope y‘all like it :)

@1stbonesfan asked to be tagged! <3

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