#hopefully this makes sense on its own

[just-your-average-tangerine]

In my experience a lot of the shit trans men get from within the queer community comes down to ignoring half of our identity in favor of the other half

Either were men and therefore are basically the same as cis men

Or were trans so they'll use gender neutral/ inclusive language while still reducing us to our sex assigned at birth

#transgender #trans #trans man #transandrophobia #trans men #hopefully this makes sense on its own #but heres some examples also #on the ignoring trans part there's the whole trans men have unconditional male privilege thing #and on the other side theres the whole trans men are safe because they're not *really* men #or like #i have a friend who would never call me a woman but will claim every problem i have is related to my uterus #like i was having liver problems and she was like 'yeah our uterus' always trying to kill us right' #like darling i have no idea what that has to do with my liver but you do you #op

[sesamenom]

the "what-to-do-about-the-ring" chapters, but from the perspective of elronds oath-related trauma

all text from Fellowship of the Ring (council of elrond + the ring goes south), except the snippets of the Oath, which i believe is from the Shibboleth of Feanor

inspired by this post

#silm #silmarillion #lotr #lord of the rings #fellowship #lotr fellowship #comics #elrond #glorfindel #gandalf #boromir #gimli #ill tag everyone with a speaking role i guess #the only thing here i own is the art #hopefully its clear when the person talking switches based on the speech bubble colors #hm im not super happy with some pages but i think the last two turned out really well #btw the greyscale panels are past/future/hypothetical while the color panels are present #so while i was figuring out how to trim a full chapter and then some into a six page comic i realized i cut out the entirety of aragorn #which i guess makes sense since hes obviously more aware of elrond's no oaths policy? #but kind of funny #also i cut saruman to focus on the four parallels theme #fun symbolic details: #i used that one shade of dark red to represent the Oath #in the first panel elrond and erestor (the feanorian kids (i hc erestor is caranthirs son)) are the only ones wearing red #but its also not either of their main colors bc they grew up w the oath but were never actually bound by it #the leaves are redder across the elwing half panel too #on the second page it shows up again in mae's hair and across the silmaril-related half panels #on the third page its in mae's lava; the bodies in menegroth; diors blood; and the figure stabbing him #but also in the belt of the hypothetical ringlord-elrond in a darker shade than it does in normal-elrond #and a ton in the last panel - all the feanorions are either wearing red or have red hair

[tonyglowheart]

"Does Shen Qiao even like Yan Wushi?"

I feel like it may be relatively easy for people to pick out "what does Yan Wushi like about Shen Qiao / what does YWS get out of yanshen." but I think a criticism/line of thought I see around is people struggling with "well what does Shen Qiao get out of all of this?" and like, "does SQ even like YWS, what with how YWS annoys him and gets him angry all the time."

But I think that actually is the crux of their relationship, lol. Because if you think about it, to everyone else, Shen Qiao is this lofty ideal, this untouchable immortal/仙, maybe even this obstacle or goal to conquer or shoot down.

Who else treats him casually and teases him and pokes at him to get emotional reactions out of him because they like that about him?

If he wants to seek people who treat him with respect and reverence, he just has to step out into the city square - hell, he just has to travel out and random people he meets are likely to treat him with that sort of dazzled awe or reverence too (we literally see this happen several times in the course of the novel).

So yeah, I think joking not joking, YWS makes him angry and feel Emotions and he likes that, YWS is enrichment for him, YWS pushes his buttons and his boundaries but reframing that it's pushing him out of his comfort zone and like hardening him off to the elements and realities of the world like a gardener with plants out of the greenhouse. But also, YWS treats him like a person, like a man, and not like Shen-daozun, Shen-daozhang, Shen-zhangjiao. To Yan Wushi, Shen Qiao is Shen Qiao. (and he loves to tease the shit out of him hehe (￣▽￣) )

CONVERSELY! This also gives Shen Qiao a space to *be* Shen Qiao. With Yan Wushi, he does not have to be Shen-daozun, Shen-daozhang, Shen-zhangjiao. He does not have to always be magnanimous and generous and a bastion of righteousness. These are in his nature, yet, but it's not ALL of his nature - he is, after all, still a man, a human, with human emotions -- including the full breadth of human emotions. Yes Yan Wushi annoys him and he shows it, but it's specifically BECAUSE of that that they are closer than him and anyone else in the world. He can "be himself" around Yan Wushi, he can get worked up and be petty and be snippy, and it's fine and won't cause catastrophes or undesired splashdown sociopolitical effects.

But also, he (lets himself?) get worked up by Yan Wushi - they HAVE that level of intimate understanding with each other where they can be like this and not have feelings hurt in any irreparable way. This isn't something that SQ does (lets himself do?) with just anyone, which we see throughout the novel reflected in his internal narration and comportment. So really, the fact that he DOES get annoyed with YWS shows that they are on a different, more "real" level with each other than SQ is with anyone else.

And like, they didn't get there in a day, sure, but imo we definitely see through the novel how they get there, so imo, the yanshen relationship is incredibly justified.

(I also say this bc I think literally every "I've connected the two dots" moments I've had in my reread, I would metaphorically flip the page only to be met with that connection I'd made spelled out on the page by MXS lmao. Like... yeah okay MXS *shakes your hand* you know your stuff. oh and also because I do think there may be some level of skepticism about yanshen esp from SQ's side floating around lol, but like... MXS did the legwork! yes chapter 45 happened, yes YWS never "apologizes" with words, but that doesn't mean that they don't share a deep mutual understanding of themselves and each other by the end, nor that they haven't moved past the events of literally 83 chapters ago, 96 if you count the extras -- a whole literal two-thirds of the novel ago. Like, I know we piss on the poor here and many educational systems around the world are in shambles these days, but work on developing reading comprehension skills, pls :') )

(lmao rip this post got long AGAIN. well, hopefully at least some people are reading all of this lol.)

#qian qiu #thousand autumns #qian qiu meta #yan wushi #shen qiao #mood is another great idea by ME dot meme #anyway here is my latest hot take! inspired by a meta post I glanced at from ages ago that I did not actually read properly #bc I think even then I Disagreed with the thoughts on it and thought it was kind of lukewarm lol #when like... I think SQ is also insane for YWS - it's just harder to see if you're approaching it from a conventional kind of interp #and also bc YWS is so much more vocal/ostentatious with his brand of craziness lol #but like. I very much ascribe to the 'actually SQ is like padme amidala' school of thought (that I coined lol) #and it's like. when you let go of 'but who would DO that/think that' and just accept. he does. and what does it say about him #it all starts to make sense #also yes I did this in a sort of long-winded reblog lol but now I'm making it its own post #hopefully this one is a bit more uhh concise than the last one now that my thoughts have percolated and set (as with a mousse) some more

[sincerelyandyourstruly]

shame, devotion, and venxiao

it is not a sin to want.

yet somehow, there is such shame to it.

maybe it's just me, but "desire" is such a loaded word. i think that's why i find it so difficult to deal with. to want something so earnestly, from so deep within one's heart… how is that not simply THE most mortifying thing on the planet?

it's kind of funny. xiaoven— though most particularly xiao— must come to terms with their selfish desires that are not going to go away n be vulnerable w/each other abt their ugliest selves in order to be accepted n truly loved, at which point shame loses its incredible power over them, and they can be together forever in love for realsies.

because it's easy to imagine a xiao, who, out of love and devotion towards venti, his savior and the god of freedom, might feel like he can only express the sheer depth of his emotions by tugging down the stiff collar of his shirt to bare his own neck for execution.

(that is how one feels towards a god, is it not? this sort of vulnerability, a willingness to die for them, born from a desire to be good.)

and i use the imagery of undressing and invoke the sense of waiting for someone else's actions upon you intentionally here. it ties xiao's sense of intimacy up with power over his life, and as a being who struggles to separate his very sense of self from violence itself, i think it would make sense that death and intimacy are linked to him.

i think a big reason why he's so reluctant to give up his duty to someday die quelling demons for the peace and prosperity of liyue is because he's afraid that wanting something, anything might break the centuries of rigid discipline that's kept him alive after all this time. to love something, to want something, is to then die for it.

and like. i think it's pretty obvious that venti would not want to hold that power over xiao, if xiao tried to express his love by essentially giving over his entire life into venti's hands. it's so lacking in boundaries on xiao's end that even if that's what xiao himself wants, it would ultimately be the most horrifying (yet still earnest!!!) show of devotion to venti.

and so. it's probably fairly obvious from all this that this push-n-pull of desires is part of what makes xiao n venti's relationship so compelling to me personally. they're arguing abt things that are so deeply a part of them: xiao's self-destructive obedience vs. venti's bleeding heart and ideal of freedom. it's kind of... dare i say... yaoi.

obviously, in the context of fandom, there is a difference btwn xiaoven and venxiao. like, technically it's about top and bottom discourse, but outside of nsfw contexts, it's more about power dynamics, about who follows and who leads in a relationship.

i tend not to care too much, since i get weirded out if it feels too… overt? controlling? one-sided? n it starts feeling like the characters are just becoming bastardized "Any Two Guys."

but, like, as may be obvious by the common ship name being xiaoven, fandoms typically have a preference. it makes sense— xiao is v physically strong, n he has this very curt, no-nonsense, straightforward way of doing things, while venti is usually mistaken for a girl by people new to genshin. in concept, it could be fun to see xiao lead a more uncertain venti around n be the more decisive, aggressive pursuer of the relationship.

HOWEVER. relationships are based in feelings n are therefore much more human things. that is definitely not smth xiao is familiar with or experienced in at all. that is venti's area of expertise.

n xiao is a character i like to characterize by his devotion n his obedience. he's not the type to come up w/a procedure for acting in situations where he is totally unfamiliar w/what's happening bc his procedure will probably be aggressive "hit it 'till it dies." in situations involving others, he can't do that, so he's left pretty helpless in situations all about ~feelings~ and stuff.

now, venti is the more human one, in the sense that he has a much greater understanding of how we chase our whims on the breeze. he knows how to navigate these kinds of emotional, dare i say intimate, situations— which is why xiao would look to him for guidance in navigating these things. he wants to be told what to do bc he is a weapon, a violent tool w/no agency of his own (or at least as he likes to think).

xiao's repression is very internalized. he knows he is someday doomed, so why bother letting himself want anything. (why dare to hope when he doesn't believe himself worthy of venti's love in return?)

despite the horrifying levels of devotion i believe xiao to be capable of, i also firmly believe that he can later learn to rein in the self-destructive aspects of it w/o diminishing the value of those feelings. there's something oh-so lovely about self-love taught through loving others and others loving you, about watching something self-destructive and dangerous fall victim in love to something that can withstand its horrors and love it anyway, love it enough to make destroying itself no longer feel worth it.

after all, one of the most romantic answers one could give to the old, "i would die for you" absolutely has to be, "we are going to make it out of this together."

and in my opinion, that's pretty venxiao.

#xiaoven #i've been agonizing over how to adapt this for tumblr bc it was originally a diary entry from almost two years ago now #but it's kind of a prerequisite reading for one of my fave xv essays; the one abt 'no switch' that i've been wanting to xpost for MONTHS #the other reason this one's been crazy hard to adapt is bc i built it off a bit of unpublished fic i was working on actively at the time #but i'm not abt to analyze my own unpublished fic here on tumblr for meta so i had to extricate it (difficult) #long post #this post is still kind of all over the place which makes sense. i'm very all over the place and its origins as a diary entry #obvs make it very personal. and also subsequently all over the place. hopefully i balanced the personal aspects properly

[littlehatmouse]

wips from valentines day art that i did not plan well and am not finishing tonight

#this is going to be shenjinlan but right now yun jin is BEATING MY ASS WHY IS SHE SO HARD TO DRAW #i think i need to completely chang ethe way i draw noses #dunmeshi has changed the way i draw noses from 3/4 view and i think i should change the way i draw front view too bc everything looks WEIRD #anywayyyyyy i have no idea when im going to finish this #but Hopefully soon!!!! #i can complete projects!!!! just you wait!!!!!!! #also i promise yelan isnt wearing lingerie it will hopefully look better when i color it #wip #i draw shenhe so different every time i draw her but its bc shes buff and i actually dont rlly know how muscles work #so im kind of bullshitting it every time #i should probably. get on learning anatomy and stuff #but idk how to go about that #and idk how to tell my art teacher Can i please learn how to draw muscular women #so i need to do that on my own #which is hard bc idk if ur supposed to study like anatomical muscle charts or muscular people #bc ik knowing every single muscle and bone and stuff is kind of unnecessary #but alsooo its good to know what muscles do what things #bc then i can make certain muscles stronger that would be used more #bc right now shes muscular kind of just. for looks lmfao #but i want to make it Make sense for what she does #like .. what muscles do you need to use a polearm and to lift things #i also Dont work out which would be useful for that information #anyway. shenhe would be buff af in canon if hyv wasnt a pussy #wdym she can lift rocks the size of houses IWHTOUT ANY TYPE OF ADEPTUS ENERGY #like shes just that strong.... #heart eyes emoji #shes wearing a skirt btw hejhfejfhjhr #you cant rlly tell because i Refuse to draw legs unless absolutely necessary #but i would like you to know that that Is a skirt #she could do anything to me

[rosebe11y]

click for better quality!

there will be choices you can't reason with

#my art #do not copy trace or steal #rosebelly #roadstar #wc oc #oc #i love leaders that get angry when u question their judgement . its one of my favorite things from a drama standpoint #ANYWAY properly introducing (or reintroducing) roadstar!! shes been skyclans leader for many many many moons (i thiink 7 yrs?) and so #she never thought the rats would be a problem in her lifetime. like yeah there will be a few occasionally but never more than a dozen at a #given time. so when even *more* start showing up she gets angry bc she cant let herself show fear to her clan #and skyclan never really needed help. sure a few odd jobs from rogues now and then but never with something like this. #so when rosebelly suggests asking around for help to get rid of the rat problem roadstar does the only thing she thinks is acceptable: #blow up. skyclans not weak enough to ask for help. the only cats to get injured so far are *fine* now. we can handle it on our own. #except they cant. this leads to rosebelly and friends going behind roadstars back to get help #hopefully that all makes sense its midnight and im very very tired

[eggwishing]

What motivates you to keep drawing so much and so often? Do you ever get caught up in the "i hate my art"/"my art is shitty" kind of feelings? I really enjoy seeing your stuff and I enjoy drawing too but this is something I personally struggle with. Do you too?

oh yeah absolutely i get caught up in that stuff. not too long ago, i would go for months on end without producing anything more than doodles on schoolwork because i just felt so disappointed with my art.

I still feel like that sometimes even now, where just picking up my pen to draw can feel like pulling out teeth. but yknow you only pull teeth when there’s a good reason to, and my reason is to not let myself fall back into that cycle of loathing my art n halting my progress because of it. that’s my line of reasoning, at least.

but OFC always take breaks if you feel yourself starting to burn out, don’t break your back drawing when you don’t have to. sometimes stuff’s crazy and you just needa focus on staying sane

#asks #anon we’re shaking hands i feel you😢 we’re in this together #we all draw and learn at our own pace . if you feel lime your art is stagnating #try something challenging! or a new medium if you can . if youre used to digital try out traditional n all that jazz #you get what i mean hopefully #just look out for yourself there’s never been an artist who feels good abt their stuff all the time #🤝🤝🤝🤝❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏 #hope im making sense If im saying some stupid bullshit just look away lol #and the motto Finished not perfect applies to everything. Art especially #there’s this quote ‘the perfect is the enemy of the good’ n yknow its true shit . dont get snagged on setting impossibly higj standards #bc youll just scare yourself awau from even trying to reach it #which you CANT btw NOBODY can nobody can make perfect shit #im rambling Ill stop now buhbye you got this anon🙏🙏🙏

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#so i survived my 1st week as a phd student. it's interesting. im not sure how i feel #the negatives are that i forgot how much stress being around people causes me. as a research assistant i was able to be on my own schedule #and go into the lab at odd hours so i never had to see anyone. but now im in classes and teaching and have a shared office #classes are tolerable stress wise so long as im sitting on an edge. i only feel a lil like im dying. teaching makes nauseous beforehand. #which is odd bc im not really worried while im doing it or before im doing it. i thibk its just that i have to interact ans i kno im a #mediocre teacher bc id rather die than do the back and forth of asking questions and u should teach interactively #i like to break down complex idea and help people with problems but i was not build to teach in classrooms. i get knocked off points when #i give class presentations bc i cant make eye contact lol. so that'll b annoying this semester. and its just so hard to function in an #office space. idk its weird like i dont even feel it that much while im there its just like a flashing *i need to leave* alarm. and then #when im alone its like a physical weight off of me. and i cant tell if thats what's draining my energy or if ive just cycled into a low #energy lul bc im just like. i wanna sleep. and for me thats always a sign that somethings wrong. i dont feel that bad mood wise but its #like there's a rock weighing me down as im trying to tread water. so those r the big negatives. the positives r that #i do enjoy being back in school. i love the structure of it. but im also self destructive abt structure so well see how it goes. but my #lab mates seem nice as does my advisor. i feel a bit bad bc ill have to learn genome stuff from the ground up. and today i was trying to #convey ideas to him like an insane person. bc i dont have enough background to talk fluidly abt my prospective project and i have a picture #of what i mean but not all the details. hopefully i made some sense. i think the idea is cool. and thats the other really positive thing. #the papers i have to read associated with this project r waaaaaaaaaay more interesting than anything i ever had to read for my masters. like #they're the types of papers i would force other ppl to read for lab meetings. so im optimistic abt not hating it by the end haha #yay for being excited abt science. but i guess thats the other thing i feel bad abt. like im interested but haven't read a lot to prep bc #i cant express how difficult dyslexia makes things but also i cant control how interested in things i get so i bassically banned myself #from reading papers im actually interested in like 3 years ago bc in retrospect i was prob going thru a hypomanic episode #and i was like reading papers abt microbes in Antarctica all day and not working on my stuff. and i just remember walking into the lab at #like 5am to trasfer alage with tears streaming down my face bc i was just like. i cant have this nice thing and b functional. it has to stop #so i just created this weird barrier in my mind where im not allowed to read fun papers. so its odd to b reading them now for work. its odd #also i was walking to my office worring abt things and then i saw some moss growinf around the edge of the sidewalk and it made me wanna cry #bc i am an extremely normal individual. i have normal feelings abt photosynthesis. but anyway yeah. its been interesting #hopefully ill stay optimistic. next week we have a orientation for new grad students. and i might have to drive like an hr away. hate that #the driving i mean. not the orientation. that should b fun #unrelated

[fridayyy-13th]

well i'm having an evening, certainly

#friday chats #it's one of those days where every little misfortune piles up and then you feel like shit #the most recent being i noticed i chipped my 3DS. when it's closed on the hinge side right below the right camera button #three little pieces have cracked off. and i have them still so i'm inquiring to a friend if i can superglue it #but i know how it cracked and it's my own fault #(kept it in my backpack's side pocket w/o its case and setting said backpack down too hard must've done it) #i've had this thing nearly ten years and it's still in pretty darn good condition! i'm really upset that i've chipped it!! #it's got a ton of memories attached to it and i still use it all the time!!! and it still works perfectly fine i turned it on to check #but i've tarnished something important to me and it sucks knowing that when i've taken such good care of it for this long. #and i know i'm kind of focusing on this one thing #but it's like. a tangible thing. not the intangible worries and stresses i'm dealing with. so it's easier. if that makes sense? #bc good GOD do i have plenty of intangible things on my back right now #just. eugh. hopefully tomorrow will be better :/

[sk3l3t0n444]

i feel like everybody hates me, but especially those who i look up to...i feel like a little kid again...looking up to those who only look down upon me, instead of picking me up and embracing me.

#i just feel like nobody fucking likes me...like everybody secretly hates me and are actively trying to make me feel bad about myself #like i know that probably isnt true...but its the only thing that make sense #like no matter what i do everybody seems to leave me alone in my own little bubble... #everybody has their little groups with their little friends...but i dont...im the one who is a small member of multiple groups... #and that gets me left in the fucking dust #i just want to belong somewhere...i change and adapt to hopefully become a part of some group but it never works #i just want someone to hold me and tell me itll be ok...and that people dont actually hate me... #ykw if you fucking hate me you can tell me anons are on...i just wanna know im not the crazy one here... #im just trying to fit it so much that ive lost myself...who am i and who is what ive become? #i try and be friendly...and hope that i get accepted somewhere but they never really care... #im like the last kitten left in the cardboard box...all the others were cuter and healthier and now nobody wants me #nobody wanted me from the start...and now im all alone #idfk #i would do anything for a hug rn #since january shit has been going downhill...died...moved...gone...and then i had some people who cared and then it all fell apart again... #i just want to belong somewhere ffs...i want to be able to have friends...not just people who tolerate me... #i would rather have one friend that 10 people who tolerate me #idfk...im going to go eat ice cream until i cant feel any emotions anymore... #if i wasnt a pussy i would be stealing my parents alcohol...they already dont like when i eat... #or maybe i shouldnt eat...then maybe someone would love me...idfk...i just want to feel loved and secure and like i fucking belong

[whatudottu]

I’ve been thinking about how if you compress quartz you get electrical current and thinking about its inverse - how if you give a quartz an electric current it compresses - and because y’all know me, it made me think about petrosapiens.

But with lingering thoughts from a previous post of mine, I have combined these thoughts with another, older and collaborative idea of the past-

Let’s get started.

Alright, when you have aliens sci-fi sometimes you get off the wall creations that thanks to the whole ‘fiction’ side of the science, probably aren’t possible as is explained? From aliens made entirely out of sound insulated with silicone to walking talking fire pits from the sun, Ben 10 is by far taking science by its reigns and going full speed into that fantasy and petrosapiens - the example of the ‘material based aliens’ you see in lots of media - is well within that cool factor you can’t fully logic.

Well, since it’s been stated a few times, petrosapiens (and the similarly crystalline crystalsapiens) are silicon - no e - based beings, and guess the fuck what my dear readers? Silicon-based crystals happen to include the beloved electric conducting quartz that this following headcanon is reliant on.

What if a petrosapien’s crystal structure down to its very molecular construction acts not only as their nervous system, but also as the root of their crystallokinesis?

Silicon itself does not provide its own current of course, but what is a nervous system without organs and most significantly of all, the CENTRAL nervous system; the brain - of course - alongside the spinal cord (read: not the spine that protects it). Simply put just like our own nervous system the central nervous system and the (conversely) peripheral nervous system communicate back and forth with one another using electrical currents.

Unlike our own human nervous system, the petrosapien nervous system is either mostly or near entirely electrical signals rather than electrochemical messages along neurons. Instead, through at least the crystal part of their bodies (which comprise most of their body and in fact translates more into extremely thick skin rather than natural armour) conveys sensory and neural responses and activities - either autonomic or somatic - along the crystalline structures like natural geometric circuitry.

Most of the nervous system in the crystal of a petrosapien is somatic, many of the autonomic nervous system being the soft squishy bits inside sitting like the centre of a fruit gusher, but it’s not without its own autonomic systems even if they are more towards the core. These autonomic functions are of course the organs responsible for recycling and reusing the digested minerals (a responsibility of the stomach) to act as materials for new crystal growth.

And with new crystal growth, along comes with it the inherent (but trained) crystallokinesis of petrosapiens. Though so long as a petrosapien eats their daily crystals they are engaging with crystallokinesis post digestion, the external act of crystal manipulation is in a sense literally letting your nervous system interact with other quartz-like or silicon-based crystals in order to jumpstart the manipulation of its structure as an extension of yourself.

Because having a network of circuits means that petrosapiens can literally feel more things than you expect of them, being able to detect sensory information beyond the simple presumed sensation of pressure, crystallokinesis of far more ancient literal planet made crystal is a process young petrosapiens need to practice, adapt, and get used to. It’s less about feeling pain and more about feeling more of yourself exposed to the air, to the water, to the ground beneath your feet and the ceiling above your head. To manipulate the crystals of Petropia you must become a part of Petropia.

Rather a religious experience wouldn’t you think?

Now what happens when a certain specific cult arrives in search of (literal) power?

That’s right baby welcome to classic reboot crossover time where I introduce a fundamental player into the headcanon history of my version of Petropia, the very reason that petrosapiens were introduced suddenly into the galactic sphere and how because of the materials of Petropia and the interference of extraterrestrials, the rapid rise of interplanetary level tech grew to the point where a certain criminal found himself staring at the shattered remains of his own home planet!

Say hello to the fulmini and the High Override himself, cult leader of the Global Mind and a literal representation of a nervous system, who’s invasion of Petropia was under the assumption of it being a barren uninhabited planet full of electrical current sustaining crystal for use in energy sources.

Check out this post by @sxilor-1010 and me for a more in-depth discussion on both the biology and more relevantly sociology of the fulmini and the High Override’s cult (which in today’s post I just made a name for that may or may not stick) so check that out-!

For the longest time I marked this period as The Surface Craze, the benefits of the English terminology being that it has multiple means beyond the direct Petropian translation of ‘the day the sky broke open’. As the many petrosapien people were introduced for the first time in thousands of years, spanning multiple generations perhaps equivalent to old English to modern (as it is today) English, the sky was crazed (rock term for scraped), the people were going crazy, and the upper rungs (aka the poor and the slums that couldn’t afford the protection of the holy core) sought this new horizon and caused a drastic shift in the political and societal landscape. All the while the energy hungry Override, with his energy desperate limbs of conquered colonies, studied and contemplated the usefulness of disciples (and batteries) of this new species.

Another meaning of craze was introduced to petrosapiens when the High Override grew interest in the regenerative abilities of petrosapiens, his arms and legs reaching out and spreading across the newly cracked open planet, singing his own praises as their one and only truth through the teeth and mouths of his subjects. Though many of the religiously scorned people of the shallows were far too burnt to be swayed, those that clung to religion in hope saw that these strangers were far more accomodating than the leaders of their own faith, the Override perhaps not able to fully take control of them as he could as those that serve as his fingers, but he did not come this far without his own manipulative ways.

A proposition was made, that these beings of crystalline stone can offer their patronage by contributing to the flow of energy, to welcome their arms into the embrace of the High Override and provide a tithe to his service. Their arms, which compress with the electricity of their central nervous system, that can be compressed and crushed and chewed up by the machines that the Global Mind and the High Override’s many fulmini limbs are hungry for, are desperate for, are past the point of begging for.

And those with the faith and the belief and the desperation, they take up arms and feed the machine.

Funny, it seems, that the High Override’s act has created one of the largest surviving community of petrosapiens yet.

#petrosapien #xenobiology #fulmini #high override #xenosociology #cult #ben 10 #headcanon #/me trying and perhaps even hopefully succeeding in making crystallokinesis biologically possible #the pieces: they are all fitting together #i love it when i can use concepts to diagetically explain other concepts #if the fulmini are in classic i think because there’s already 2 warfaring species (tetramands and incurceans) #that they fill the ecological niche of ‘interstellar cult’ #not an ecological niche that perhaps you’d want filled but the high override has competition for warlord stuff #wanted to include my own fucked up petropia backstory with fulmini history- sxilor did it first admittedly haha #but i hope this version is nice and different enough to go ‘hey that’s neat’ even if the idea literally uses a collab as a base lmao #also just giving petrosapiens the ability to physically feel shit even if the regrowing crystal adaptation cuts off a lot of pain sensing #petrosapien overstimulation aka becoming one with the planet 😔 #funny how my sugilite is physically part of petropia even if he’s just sitting there acting as a memory chip for the planet #not in any meaningful ‘revive the planet’ way but ‘petropia has memories of everything on its skin i must redocument petropian culture’ #ask to tag

[bugdogg]

I cant tell when I'm being too friendly or sharing too much. I don't know if you ever get better at it as time goes on but its a mistake I make often and it hurts.

#Scopophobia #implied violence #eye strain #my art #ok last painful art of this week hopefully #i dont like being negative often cause i worry ill upset others #drawing these types of things allows me to connect with my own feelings and i think its nice to share it #ik relatability is a bit overdone these days but its nice knowing there are people who see my stuff that struggle with the same worries #if any of that makes sense #anyway #i hope anyone who reads this has a nice week #and thank you if you liked my art!

[bluest-planet]

Ngl working on this chaiflower fic is fun. And not as like, creatively stumping as usual? It takes forever for me to write if I'm not in the mood but I've been consistently adding small bite sized bits throughout the week at my own pace while I worry about life stuff or work on other projects. It makes me feel like I'm actually making progress, no matter how small it is very day.

That said. I'm looking at the current 3k word count knowing with my entire heart and soul it's probably gonna have to be more than like. Double that at the rate this story is going lol.

Gotta love that character introspection and complex relationship interaction.

#blue speaks #thinking about changing the name too. i wanted it to be slightly angsty with mostly sweet and heartening stuff but i dont think thats gonna #fly anymore lol #anyways I like writing for Pavitr's character a whole lot #ik we dont know a lot about him in the movie verse so im borrowing stuff ive heard about his comics #so. sorry if i disappoint. just trying to write him as how i have been imagining and theorizing #cause hes a sunshine boy no doubt. BUT! #some stuff ive heard about the ckmics makes him really interesting #and also #i get this. chivalrous/empathetic/extremely principled character vibe from him? #like. okay ill just leave this nugget but; its just that deep sense of inate honor and sense of whats right and wrong #and like. although he feels fake that doesn't make him forget his own morals n stuff contrast to the other spidersfolk #(thats not including the main group n miles tho) #and how hes just. legitimately a good kid trying to do good and love his friends so deeply. #not unlike miles #who reflects that and encorages him that hes on the right path as well as helping him provess his own feelins #as a spiderman? #hopefully i can pull it off

[4giorno]

oh my god. i just saw some of my OLD OLD digital art like before i made my art blog and holy fuck. suddenly faith in myself completely restored

#this is why its vital to save your old art like you can get yourself so down and be like wtf am i doing this for im not improving #nothing like seeing something you made 4 years ago to bonk you on the head and make you see sense #ofc im not improving AS fast as i could be bc i dont draw enough but still #now my priority should be to become faster like its absolutely necessary. it already was years ago #i just checked how long it took me to draw my latest post and ill tell you. those two drawings took me 39 FUCKING HOURS #like that is absolutely unacceptable. no 'just go at your own pace' or anything no. that should not happen and i need to fix it #hopefully there is an actionable plan and advice out there ill have to look <3 #waah im so sad it seems the steady trickling in of notes has stopped finally. i was so close to getting my first drawing with over 200 notes #im sorry if this is shallow but it is a big deal to me #im so thankful for the notes i did get tho! it is my most well received drawing ever and that makes me happy

[martyrbat]

how would you change tim's character to make him ""better""

(in reference to this post (i think?))

ooh! this is a very interesting thing to ask and deserves an answer for when i can actually think on it more thoroughly but for now:

firstly, for the record, i fully agree with this post about how steph should been the third robin

but okay. i think a key element to any post!jason robin is actually exploring Bruce's grief and how its effecting him. i understand its a comic so they have to keep the action flowing instead of indulging entirely in the vast and deep topic of grief (unfortunately) but i think by actually acknowledging jasons death they can shape the narrative and have it be high stakes and a continuing arc!

bruce couldn't save his own son - how is he trusted to save someone else's? how is he going to save a city and stop evil when he couldn't for the person that mattered most? how he's once again fighting in hopes to prevent someone else from experiencing the same loss but it doesnt take away his pain.

especially with bruces complex to save everyone. anyone dies or has a tragedy occur to them and bruce blames himself every single time. he believes should of (and could of) done something - even if it was impossible. so tie that with how hes supposed to always be prepared, always save the day, always be that dark knight and hero? but failing to the extent that his own child is dead? how jason died hoping bruce would burst in there and save him and then died as a hero when he should of been living as a boy? him being responsible by introducing jason to thie vigilant lifestyle and how his memory lives on in everything bruce does.

show me that guilt! that insecurity and how he still loves jason!! this man hung onto the death of his parents this obsessively, itll be even worse for his child! i literally cannot stress this element enough, he needs to grieve. its gonna be messy and complex and difficult. he's never going to stop grieving to an extent, you never do.

NOW. onto tim (unfortunately). each robin has been a reflection of Bruce's characteristics and sides to its most extreme. if it has to be tim, personally ill go more for tim being more like bruce's detached side. countless nights staring at a screen or paperwork, not knowing social cues as well, having a tendency to isolate when overwhelmed or to avoid reality, paranoid. i think of this panel immediately:

[ID: Alfred scolding Tim after he punched Damian for falsely believing he was attacking Alfred. Alfred says, "He was stopping me from falling. The poor lad is afraid. He needs comfort... Not a fist in the face. It's all very well being blessed with fierce intelligence. But that doesn't mean a thing if it's not tempered by compassion, Timothy. Mr. Wayne knows that." END ID]

not careless, not heartless - to be a robin, you have to care and want to help people. but how you help and style is very different. his compassion being linked to 'the greater picture' vs jason who was so much for the actual people and individuals and "small details' that often get forgotten about in said general picture. jason focused on the brush strokes that were the people of gotham while tim would go for gotham as a whole. what would be the best long term effective? what would it take to reach it?

i think by making tim more logic based in his compassion and is a good way to challenge bruce in a way that all the robins have before. its how that dynamic works, there has to be chemistry and that balance.

let him see this kid as a reflection of why he cant deprive himself from his heart despite how much it hurts seeing another little boy running around in a yellow cape when it should be his little boy still. that it hurts because he had someone to hurt over. have bruce mourning and grieving and impacted by jason's death (canonly he was rougher as batman because of it/emotionally withdrawn more) while also scared shitless that this kid is going to be next and he'll be making another father go through the same lost hes going through

it also allows tim more room for character development and to have a distinct factor instead of his cherry picked perfect traits and 'flaws' from the others before him. its still robin but hes so different from jason and as a result bruce has to actually confront his feelings and how jason taught/reminded him that he cant forget the people while waiting around and planning for the perfect big picture. that without the people, who cares if the city is saved? it acknowledges jasons life and death and honours jason beyond a perserved costume:

[ID: Robin telling Jason he's gotten too emotionally involved with a case due to not picking up on obvious signs of their convict, Felipe, being on cocaine. The next panel is Batman and Robin on a stakeout. Batman's internal narration reads, "Over the next three days we have a dozen opportunities to bust Felipe holding. But we hold off. I want to take out a part of the Senior Garzonas' operation when Felipe takes his fall. Robin doesn't like this idea." Additional note is that because of this, Felipe had time to intimidated the woman he raped into killing herself. END ID]

i know a lot of this is about jason and bruce instead but you cant ignore him or pretend he didnt happen. jason's death is was what gave birth to tim's existence (and capitalism but yknow). its going to impact him and the robin dynamic forever. its going to change bruce forever because he didn't want another robin. he didnt want someone else's kid. he wanted his son who was six feet under

people talk how tim is the robin that chose to be robin and to involve himself instead of the circumstances causing it. go heavier into that. its why he clings to that title and is an asshole to damian - because he thinks without that mantel - hes nothing. have him insecure and obsessive over it. have the obvious distance between him and how bruce was with the robins before him because they were his actual sons. you can love and care about someone but not see them as family. ESPECIALLY with tim's parents - who did love him but were still neglectful and how that'll make him insecure/grow a complex.

have tim having to learn to trust others and how to be vulnerable but still struggle. have him learning to not isolate as much and snapping at others when he does. have the conflict of tim saying its a sacrifice to help the greater good. hell, have him lean more into the mad scientist and invention route even, he did cloned his best fucking friend. i dont care what, just give him SOME personality beyond batman's lapdog and always being so perfectly imperfect that his few 'flaws' are polished and excused.

#in context its 3 am and my nose and eye are simultaneously bleeding as I type this #HOWEVER i finally had spoons to go through my inbox some to hopefully stop avoiding eye contact with it in shame #but just. yeah. #you cant erase jason out of the narrative because the narrative and batman's entire dynamic forever changed afterwards #and i think for any third robin jason's death should be very much felt. the narrative killed him and now he haunts it #itll impact everything and by contrasting more you can have a fun batman and robin dynamic still while making tim unique in his own way #and while actually acknowledging jason existed beyond a perserved costume (got my own issues with that) or shitty writing blaming him for #his own death. #does any of this make sense?? probably not but its fine i think u all expect mediocrity from me #company in the crypt #jason todd #tim drake #bruce wayne #meta #posts from the crypt

[smute]

if you tell the american prof you’re “auditing” the class, it sounds like that would be the US equivalent—bc auditing is basically just sitting in on the class. depending on the student and prof, it might include varying levels of coursework/participation as well

omg thank you that's really helpful! rn im waiting for her to get back to me but i'll keep that word in mind!

#to be completely honest #im not even sure i understand it myself lmao #basickly i have to take a number of classes from outside my own discipline #so im not just sitting in #i do need the academic credit #but at the same time #its ungraded #?? #which i guess makes sense when you're taking advanced classes in some random subject you know nothing about #but explaining that to professors from other departments #or in this case to a visiting professor from the us #is always so complicated #anyway this is gonna be the last time hopefully #thank you anon #<3 #ask #anon