#how deep these parts were repressed

[aroace-polyshow]

do you guys ever think about this dialogue in black space 2

#mono’s stuff #omori spoilers #minus the mom asking where the violin is part #i remember finding those boxes and feeling so horrified #do you ever think about how surpressed these moments are #they’re deep in black space 2 #two of them you have to break through a ton of spiderwebs to find it #after you click on it once it’s gone #do you ever think about that #how guiltu sunny feels #how deep these parts were repressed #idk #is this anythibg

[herestoburiedsecrets]

I love the idea of it being maybe a couple of days after the Captain has died, and he has gotten over the intense initial shock of being dead and the subsequent freak out that follows it, and he has reverted back to just being ‘the Captain’ and trying to make some order of his existence and keep himself busy, and presenting himself to the other ghosts as a ranking officer and their leader, and he has a little speech, and one of the ghosts makes a remark about some weird or wacky thing that they did or do, or suggests something unusual, and Cap is immediately horrified and just exclaims ‘but that’s not proper behaviour!’, and all the other ghosts just scoff a bit or kind of ignore him, but Fanny gives an approving noise and says ‘quite right, Captain!’, and basically them just becoming quite close quite quickly due to their love of rules and order and ‘proper’ behaviour.

Just Fanny finally finding another ghost who understands her and agrees with her and her constant adherence to the strict rules she was forced to follow when she was alive, and the Captain finding in Fanny a person who understands and appreciates his need to maintain his status as Captain and find a sense of order within the madness.

#cat.txt #bbc ghosts #i just think that fanny must’ve been so lonely for so many years - both when she was alive but also in death with no one similar to her for #company and I love the idea of Fanny and Cap just both seeing a part of themselves in each other and having a sense of subconscious pity #because they know the rigid societal pressures and fears that shape a person to be like them but this understanding is never acknowledged #(because they are so repressed - they barely even acknowledge the understanding even within themselves) and so they both find a deep #connection between each other but also their own behaviours end up encouraging each other to maintain the repressive habits that were so #deeply ingrained into them during life even if those behaviours aren’t healthy #like obviously they are both very different characters but the societies they both lived in were incredibly repressed and there were strict #societal rules that were ingrained into them due to an aspect of their identities - for Fanny it was her gender and for Cap it was his #sexuality - and i just think their friendship is so interesting because of how similar but also different they are #i feel like this deserves another post that is more analytical and not just headcanon-y but i am thinking about the so much tonight #bbc ghosts the captain #bbc ghosts fanny #cap my beloved #fanny my beloved

[daydreamerdrew]

The Hulk! (1978) #19

#ok so while this story holds off from actually saying that Bruce has ‘multiple personality disorder’ #I believe that this is the first issue ever that brings it up by name in connection to him #so I want to note how it’s framed here #‘the subconscious result of repressed needs’ #‘literal personification of deep-seated desires denied by upbringing’ #this lecturer acknowledges the approach of determining the need the ‘other personality’ fulfills and then eliminating the need #to therefore eliminate the ‘personality’ #but then goes on to talk about her experimental idea for a cure that this issue actually ends up focusing on #in the therapy issue where it’s first established that the Hulk existed prior to the gamma bomb accident #all the incidents that we see him connected to are incredibly mundane #accidentally being burned by an appliance as a child #being scolded by a teacher as a teenager #what little we’ve seen about Bruce’s background has had no suggestion of any kind of trauma prior to the accident #and so no suggestion of why there would be a need for the Hulk to manifest #which is a pretty big unanswered question! #this character debuted in 1962 #I think that this has been a notable amount of time to go to reveal almost nothing about his background #I’m assuming that that has not been the case for other Marvel characters and that their backgrounds were more fleshed out over time #I think there’s been like two individual issues published years apart that had where Bruce went to college as part of the story #and all the while that this hasn’t been explored #it’s been made more and more clear and unavoidable what kind of background Bruce has to have had- i.e. a really bad one #as the Hulk has been changed to become more childlike #specifically a very angry and paranoid child #his inherent trust in and concern for women and so suspicion of men #this whole character screams something very specific to the point where you can feel the resistance to acknowledge it #cause like it’s legit wild that that therapy issue reveals that the Hulk existed since Bruce’s childhood and then no one ever asks why #marvel #bruce banner #my posts #comic panels

[kairologia]

Your 12th house gifts and areas you struggle with most, according to your rising sign.

The 12th House is traditionally a desolate, dark, and isolating place. But what insights might you gain, were you to confront and explore that which you've been avoiding? Not unlike how every chart has a “natal promise”, every 12H has positive potential and negative burdens to show for itself. Here, we shall dive into that. Use Whole Sign Houses.

P.S: one configuration cannot explain everything about you as a person with a full-chart and a bunch of unique personal experiences, so if you do not relate to everything, that’s fine. ♥

— Aries Rising with Pisces in the 12H:

· Gift: Aries risings are profoundly intuitive & empathetic and this fact is oft understated. These people tend to be blessed with creativity & plenty of artistic gifts, and are incredibly inspirational to those around them. The teacher that inspires their students so profoundly they remain unforgotten even decades later, the hype man that supports their friend group’s endeavors most — these archetypes are found across the zodiac spectrum, but at an unusually high concentration among Aries risings.

· Struggle: they tend to feel overwhelmed by their unspoken emotions and have a hard time asserting personal boundaries. Aries rising natives tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves, and have a hard time keeping things in. If they *feel* something, they will make it known.

— Taurus Rising with Aries in the 12H:

· Gift: Taurus risings are blessed with incredible resiliency, & can overcome anything if they so desire. They tend to enjoy most & even be skilled at artistic pursuits that revolve around the erotic &/or grotesque. They are rarely put off by things, and are the type of people that can listen to you vent about all sorts of topics, no matter how ‘gross’ or taboo.

· Struggle: ironically, Taurus rising natives tend to simultaneously be very impatient while also being inclined to repressing and internalizing all sorts of emotions, not unlike a dormant volcano, leading to inner and outer conflict. They tend to be hot-headed and struggle letting go of matters they found hurtful.

— Gemini Rising with Taurus in the 12H:

· Gift: These people are incredibly grounded intellectually and it shines through their mental clarity and ability to communicate with precision. Though they may appear scatterbrained to others, their mind palace is incredibly well-compartmentalized. They tend to be great at artistic pursuits that call upon multiple senses at once and provide strong sensorial experiences.

· Struggle: Gemini rising natives tend to overanalyze emotions, which hinders the spontaneity and adaptative quality associated with other Gemini placements. They also tend to repress their desire for relational pleasure and connection, and have a hard time accepting that even they desire to connect with others.

— Cancer Rising with Gemini in the 12H:

· Gift: Cancer risings are capable of understanding the perspective of others with incredible ease, which grants them a versatile penmanship & communication skillset. They tend to excel at communication, writing, teaching, getting things across, as no matter how complex the topic at hand they will manage to break it down to others in a manner that is simple enough to be understood by anyone — in part explaining why they tend to be so great with kids.

· Struggle: Cancer rising natives often have a hard time reconciling rational thought with emotional intuition, leading to indecision — growing up, possibly as a defense mechanism, most Cancer risings tend to pick one end of the emotion vs reason spectrum and sticking to it, leading to unavoidable inner tension in adulthood.

— Leo Rising with Cancer in the 12H:

· Gift: not unlike Aries risings, their intuitive senses & understanding of other people’s hidden emotions are widely underestimated. Their ability to foster deep emotional connections with others & nurture those around them is second to none. They also tend to have the very rich & versatile emotional inner world that is often associated with water moons – in part explaining why they’re known for their creativity & dramatic flair.

· Struggle: Leo risings have a tendency to retreat into isolation upon feeling vulnerable. They tend to repress their feelings from the outside world, and hardly feel comfortable enough to let anyone in. In more extreme cases, there might even be a propensity towards denying certain emotions and repressing them altogether. They have a very polished facade & a strong sense of self, and consequently will hardly appreciate breaking out of character.

— Virgo Rising with Leo in the 12H:

· Gift: Virgo risings are known for telling it like it is — their authentic manner of self-expression and courage to confront anything that gets in their way is their signature brand. Though many Virgo risings tend to prefer blending in and going unnoticed, they’re in actuality extremely creative, and will hardly let other people’s narrative steer them at will.

- Struggle: a Virgo rising’s biggest critic is themselves, and oftentimes they tend to forget that their own desire to be perfect may not be shared by others, as most people value authenticity over perfection — leading to Virgo rising natives feeling rejected by those around them, as their desire to advise and help is inextricably linked to their sense of self. They tend not to realize that said advice is often unwarranted and unsought for, consequently taking everything to heart, which may result in them struggling with self-acceptance and vulnerability.

— Libra Rising with Virgo in the 12H:

· Gift: Libra risings have mastered the art of knowing that multiple things can be true at once, & their analytical minds are loaded with insight into hidden dynamics & truths. They tend to favor a practical approach to resolving emotional conflicts, which makes them seem as though they fear & avoid conflict, when in truth they had already assessed the situation and figured out the best path to returning to center.

· Struggle: Libra risings repress thought & opinion to keep the peace, & consequently feel as though their opinions matter less or not at all to those around them — which, once brought up, might come across as a point of confusion to those around them who generally value their insights immensely. They also tend to overanalyze emotions, be it their own or those of others, and thus struggle with expressing deeper feelings, or believing others to begin with, leading to inner conflict.

— Scorpio Rising with Libra in the 12H:

· Gift: Scorpio risings posess the ability to understand subconscious patterns no matter how convoluted they may be. Even at times where they struggle with understanding themselves, their emotions, desires and behavioural patterns, those of others are hardly a secret to them.

· Struggle: the 12th house is a lesson on balance & compromise for Scorpio risings. Their desire for harmony in inner conflicts is often at odds with their own subjectivity & inclination towards taking extremes in their daily lives, so they tend to struggle immensely with balance. They simultaneously obsess over & repress their hidden desires & preferences, leading to power struggles within the self. They also tend to struggle with forming connections with others, whether it’s due to failed past connections or an inherent fear of commitment or merely an extreme sense of detachment.

— Sagittarius Rising with Scorpio in the 12H:

· Gift: Sagittarius risings are known for their fearlessness and inclination towards spiritual & occult pursuits. A Sagittarius rising is never one to say no to or back down from new experiences, and have a sense of freedom that is defining to their personhood. Everyday is a potential new lesson to these people.

· Struggle: the same sense of freedom may lead to their tendency towards escapism. They tend to struggle with confronting their less superficial, deeper emotions, & may repress their anger a lot in their youth — leading to their being a lot more explosive and thrill-seeking in adulthood. Sagittarius risings are the type to prefer trying anything – even things many would advise against, just to prove a point, whether to themselves or others – as they believe they have no teacher other than life itself.

— Capricorn Rising with Sagittarius in the 12H:

· Gift: Capricorn risings are known for their philosophical perspective & optimistic outlook on challenges, which often translates to an ability to grow wiser at a faster rate than their peers. Their beliefs & values play a crucial role in their selfhood, so they tend to invest a lot of time into spiritual pursuits.

· Struggle: the flip side of their beliefs and values shaping their inner world in a way that is hard to get across to others is that they may be the type to struggle with forming connections with people who do not share the same beliefs & philosophies. They also tend to fear failure more than anything, & struggle to surrender to their own place in the grander scheme of things — these two points are inextricably linked and in order to grow past either, you as a Capricorn rising ought to address both simultaneously.

— Aquarius Rising with Capricorn in the 12H :

· Gift: Incredibly disciplined and persevering in confronting their inner fears. Overtime, they tend to develop a sense of stability and self-mastery that is second to none. While not intuitive in the stereotypical sense, they tend to have inexplicable hunches about things that hardly ever turn out to be incorrect. They tend to live well with & within chaos, sometimes at the expense of their well-being.

· Struggle: they tend to repress emotions and have a strong fear of vulnerability, which hinders their ability to form intimate connections and grow emotionally — they feel as though they have a built-in indestructible wall blocking them out & holding them back from everyone else. They may struggle with becoming responsible, or feel as though they matured too soon. Sometimes, it’s a bit of both.

— Pisces Rising with Aquarius in the 12H:

· Gift: Pisces risings are infinitely more rational than they are believed to be. They have an uncanny approach to understanding subconscious patterns, & tend to reason their way through any situation before reaching a judgement. Very insightful people who tend to be incredibly inquisitive as well, and would prod answers out of anyone if they so desire.

· Struggle: Pisces risings tend to isolate often, whether as a way to recalibrate or just out of preference. Natives of this rising sign, especially those with Air moons, often struggle with detachment and may find it hard to relate to statements implying they are inclined towards emotionality. These people often have or had a “weird kid” reputation ascribed to them by their peers that often stuck well into adulthood.

If you’d like a reading, more details can be found here!

#astrology #astro notes #astrological observations #hellenistic astrology #astro observations #astrology signs #astrology readings #zodiac #rising signs #12 houses #12h placements

[wonusite]

I Hate U, I Love U

❝ After finally managing to escape the lifelong rivalry you once had with Yoon Jeonghan, you’re unexpectedly thrown back into the undesirable feud after receiving a scholarship to the most prestigious private school in the city. Despite your attempts to leave the past in the past, you discover too late that you’re the only one interested in letting the vendetta go. Years later, there’s a switch in dynamic when you’re the one unwilling to let it go. ❞

PAIRING: yoon jeonghan x female reader

WORD COUNT: 20.8k

GENRE: enemies to lovers au, rich kid au, college au, model au, fake dating au, angst, (tiniest bit of) fluff, smut

WARNINGS: they’re in high school at the beginning of this, rich boy!jeonghan, frat boy!jeonghan, former rich girl!reader, model!reader, classism, asshole parents, drinking, scheming, mild violence (1 slap), reader and jeonghan are pretty terrible to each other, repressed feelings, revenge is a recurring theme in this, lots of arguing, star-crossed lovers vibes, heavy on the regret, jealousy, fake relationship (but real feelings oops), oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, pussy drunk!hannie, cockdrunk!reader, multiple creampies, squirting, overstimulation

a/n: still can’t believe i sat down and wrote this much. hope you guys like it! based on this request (sorry it took so long rip). minors dni!!

You can still remember the exact way you felt when your family lost everything and was left in poverty. Back then, your reality had become a twilight zone that left you feeling misplaced. Fate was cruel to make that exact feeling resurface now as you’re standing at the gates of your new school.

An emotion that could’ve been written off as typical anxiety from being the new kid is actual nerves caused by the unhealthy obsession your parents have with reclaiming the status your family once had. Inexplicably, they both believed the main way to do this is to be better than the Yoon family.

Embarrassing as it is, this fixation of theirs dates back to before you were born. In particular, it’s your mom’s unrelenting need to be better than the Yoons that got you into this unfavorable situation in the first place. She can’t be fully blamed, though. Everything dates back the feud her first husband (your father) has been part of since he was a kid.

As a child, you didn’t fully understand how deep the hatred ran. You also didn’t realize that being the heir to your family’s fortune meant that their vendetta had become your burden to bear (and somehow still was). Naively, you believed everything was over the moment your family was left with nothing. It wasn’t until you were leaving your house that your mom made it clear she still expected you go head-to-head with the heir of the Yoon family.

Believing that Yoon Jeonghan would still be willing to partake in a petty rivalry with you isn’t realistic, but your mom is beyond seeing reason at this point. Restoring the prestige of your family name came before anything now (even reality). In your mom’s eyes, beating the only son of the Yoon family seems to be the only way to do it.

This new-but-not-new obligation is the reason you can’t stifle the sick feeling that overcomes you as you walk through the front gates of the most prestigious private school in the city.

The campus is larger and more extravagant in person. Every single thing—from the wide pathways to the elegant topography—screams money. Students are scattered in front of the building, clad in the expensive uniform that’s currently draped over your own frame. The sight of designer bags, stylish shoes, and glamorous jewelry is a reminder of what once was and will never be again.

As if that daunting fact isn’t enough to make the dread in your gut paralyze you with anxiety, the cold looks you get are. Maybe you’re paranoid, or maybe people are actually sneering at you because they recognize you. Either way, this feeling of wanting to disappear doesn’t go away.

You stop walking to dig in the pocket of your jacket to pull out your phone. It’s a pathetic attempt to look like you’re not a total outsider who would rather be anywhere else. Unfortunately, your actions don’t provide you with the comfort you’re looking for. You wonder if hiding somewhere inside would stifle the nerves you feel. As fate (and your rotten luck) would have it, you don’t get a chance to make that decision.

In a sudden instant, you feel a body collide with your own. You recoil with a surprised gasp when a hot liquid spills all over your chest and torso. The distinct smell makes you panic. Coffee stains are the worst kind, and you just know your mom is going kill you if the uniform she worked so hard to pay for is ruined. Panic seeps into your chest as you start to wipe at your wet clothes without looking up. It’s futile, but just thinking about the consequences that you’re going to face if the overpriced uniform got ruined makes you want to throw up.

“What the fuck!?” The loud yell draws the attention of all the people within the spacious vicinity. “Watch where you’re going, you fucking idiot!”

You furrow your eyebrows angrily, and before you can lift your head to see who’s yelling, you feel an empty cup hit your feet. The remnants of the coffee splatter on your shoes and the lower part of your shins. Somehow, you feel cold despite the coffee being scorching hot.

The surprised guffaws and gasps seem muffled because of how loud your heartbeat is. A yell of your own is building in your throat, but when you look up, you’re suddenly at a complete loss for words. It all feels like some horrible nightmare because you find yourself looking at a face that you never wanted to see again.

Like a scene out of a cheesy movie, your (former) sworn enemy is standing right in front of you.

For some inexplicable reason, you can’t find your voice. You can only stare at Jeonghan with a dumb expression on your face. The embarrassment and anger you feel clash together and whirl inside you like a tornado, but even the intensity of your emotions isn’t enough to get you to express them in the way you want.

Jeonghan feels very pleased with himself until the unknown girl lifts her head. He blinks once, twice, and a third time. This doesn’t have the effect he desires because the image of you isn’t going away. Many years have passed since he last saw you, but he could never forget your face. Jeonghan might’ve thought he was dropped in the middle of some bizarre dream if it wasn’t for the harsh hammering of his heart. It really is you standing in front of him, looking like you’re two seconds away from murdering him.

“What the hell is your problem?” You seeth, no longer able to push down all the anger you’re feeling. “You’re the one who ran into me, asshole!”

Never in your life had you seen someone turn so red in the span of two seconds. You briefly wonder why Jeonghan feels so embarrassed when it’s you who’s dripping in coffee with what feels like the entire world laughing at your expense.

“Y/N?” His voice is incredulous. “What are you doing here?”

It’s a stupid question to ask considering the fact that you’re literally wearing the school issued uniform and have a school bag slung over your shoulders, but you know what Jeonghan actually means: How is it possible that someone like you is attending this school?

You aren’t about to dignify him with an answer since it seems like the watching crowd is itching for a show. Giving him a reaction is only going to make you look crazy, and you won’t give him or anyone else that satisfaction. It seems like you’re the only one that feels this way, though.

“You can’t hand wash the uniform. It has to be dry cleaned.”

Once again, the snickers and mocking whispers sound deafening. Instead of punching him in the mouth like you want, you somehow convince yourself to keep a level head. “Whatever. Move.” You snap before shoving past the stunned boy.

Once you get away from that embarrassing scene and find a bathroom, you shrug off your jacket to assess the damage. A scowl brings down the edges of your lips when you see the dark stains the coffee left behind. With an aggravated sigh, you glance down at your uniform. The front part is somewhat damp and a bit dirty, but luckily for you (and your mom’s bank account) the stains aren’t too prominent.

You take a deep breath before lifting your head and squaring your shoulders. It doesn’t matter that this already feels like the worst day ever, you can’t lose sight of the goal your mom has in mind. And you definitely can’t let Jeonghan of all people derail those plans. Playing into his petty games isn’t something you can afford to do anymore. Not that you want to, anyway.

When you finally calm down and decide to face the day, you find Jeonghan standing outside the bathroom, waiting for you. His shocked gaze from before is long gone and replaced with a hostile one you're more familiar with.

“I guess the standards of the scholarship program have hit an all time low.” He says as he falls into step beside you. “Do you really think coming here is going to change anything? Someone like you doesn’t belong here.”

You try your hardest to ignore him, but he keeps following you. Briefly, you wonder why it seems like he’s eager to pick up where you two left off. Were his parents thinking the same thing as yours, or was this something he was doing on his own?

“I’m talking to you.”

Finally, you stop and turn to him with a mean glare on your face. “I can see the years have done nothing for that pea-sized brain of yours. No matter how much you want me gone, I’m not going anywhere.”

“If you think you’ll somehow claw your way back up the social ladder, you can get rid of that pathetic idea right now.” Jeonghan all but growls, feeling a type of anxiousness he hasn’t in years. “You don’t belong in this world anymore, and you never will.”

Maybe he was right, but that doesn’t matter. You’re not thinking of running away, especially from him. “Scared I’m gonna take your spot at the table?”

“Yeah, right.” He laughs, but it doesn’t sound as confident as he wants. “Someone like you will never take anything from me.”

You look at him and let out a contemptuous laugh. It had been years, but Jeonghan had remained painfully unchanging. The crazed look in his eyes and tone of voice makes you smirk. “You are scared.”

Jeonghan practically has steam coming out of his ears. He can’t say anything, and he’s not entirely sure why. You’re not at the same level as him anymore, but that doesn’t seem to shake any of that annoying self-confidence you’ve always had. Ironically, it feels like he’s the one on unsteady ground. An anxious feeling seeps into his stature because it’s like he can already hear his dad’s disappointed voice for letting you of all people shake him up.

“Well, you should be.” You say, wanting to get under his skin. “Because I don’t need money to get the things I want.”

Maybe those words triggered a reaction out of Jeonghan that was deeper than you realized, but it doesn’t matter. As soon as you got accepted into the private school, your fate was sealed.

The day doesn’t get much better for you as it goes on. Studying amongst the blue bloods wouldn’t be so bad if you happened to be a regular poor person, but since you and your entire family fell from grace all those years ago, you don’t have the luxury of going unnoticed. Their sly comments and sneers don’t hurt, but they are unbearably annoying.

Expectedly, you’ve made no new friends. Nearly every person looks at you like you’re an unwanted parasite, and you have a strong inkling that it has everything to do with what happened with Jeonghan in the morning. It’s not surprising, but it makes you feel more alone than you expect.

When the school day is finally over and you think you can finally get away from all the turmoil you’re feeling, you walk out the building to see the one person who can make this day even worse. Your dad isn’t alone. He’s accompanied by his wife and her son, Seokmin. You barely have time to digest seeing him after so long before he’s turning his head in your direction and makes eye contact.

In a split second, his smile falters until it’s completely wiped off his face. The oh shit look he has on his face makes an unmistakable revulsion force its way up your throat. Many would feel comforted by the sight of their father approaching them, but all you can feel is the dislike and lack of affection you have for him. Briefly, you wonder why he thinks it’s a good idea to come up to you when it’s clear he didn’t know that it was also your first day of school.

“Y/N.” The way he speaks your name is awkward and unsure. “What are you doing here?”

If one more person asked you that, you swear you were going to rip your hair out. Instead of snarking at him to use his fucking eyes and take a look at what you’re wearing, you respond as calmly as you can. “I applied for a scholarship last year.” You tell him, feeling like you might cry. “Mom said she left you a message.”

The grimace on his face makes you feel stupid and embarrassed, but you can’t walk away like you want. It feels like your feet are rooted to the ground, and there’s also the (not so) tiny fact that your mom would never forgive you if you walked away.

“I... I was going to call, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear from me.”

You’re tempted to tell him that you know he hasn’t given you a single thought in the last four years. It’s blatantly obvious that his stepson is vastly more important to him than you are. You know that, and it no longer hurts as much as it used to.

“Mom said she called you last week.” You repeat, trying not to let your voice give away all the emotions brewing inside you. “She wants us to have dinner together tonight.”

His remorseful expression changes, and you know that he’s about to make things difficult for you all over again. “Y/N, today isn’t—”

“Never mind.” You cut him off, not in the mood to hear his excuses. “Your family is waiting for you, and mom’s waiting for me at home.”

Your dad’s wounded expression doesn’t make you feel anything. Especially not when you notice Jeonghan and his idiot friends gawking at you from afar. You don’t give your dad a chance to respond before you turn on your heel and walk away, hoping the angry tears poking the back of your eyes don’t fall before you get out of their line of sight.

The trip home is longer than usual now that you have to take two buses instead of one. It gives you time to think, although, you wish you didn’t have so much time to ponder your rampant thoughts. All you want to do is get home and sleep off the exhausting day you had.

Unfortunately for you, the universe had other plans that went directly against your wishes.

Directly in front of your apartment building, you can see your mom waiting for you. She has a pensive look on her face that can easily been mistaken with vexation, but you can’t be sure when it comes to the same woman who never reacts the way you expect her to. It’s rare to see a bright expression on your mother’s face these days, but she beams as soon as she sees you approaching.

“Y/N!” She hurries over to you with expectant eyes. “Did you see your father?”

You wish she didn’t look so excited as you nod silently, but her eyes seem to shine as she continues with her questioning. “How did it go? Did he agree to come tonight?”

Of course she only cares about that. Not how your day at a new school was or if you were adjusting well. She didn’t care if you liked the school nor was she interested to know if you made any friends. It’s not disappointing anymore, just irritating.

“He didn’t know that I got a scholarship.” Like she told you a month ago. “He didn’t even show up to see me.”

The excited smile slips off your mom’s face instantly. Her gaze turnes dark as a deep frown settles on her features. “What? How could you be so stupid?” Her voice rises into a hysteric yell. “I ask you to do one thing, and you can’t even do that right!”

You clench your jaw as if that will somehow relieve the anger that’s washing over you. Her degrading words are nothing new, but today it’s getting to you more than usual. “It’s not my fault he wants nothing to do with us. I told you—”

“Shut up.” She growls. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. I knew I couldn’t count on you.”

A humorless laugh rips from your throat before you can stop it. “Then you should’ve talked to him yourself instead of making me do it since you’re the one who wants to beg him for money.”

Knowing exactly how to get a reaction out of your mom is always satisfactory, until it isn’t. “I’m only doing this for you! Do you think I want to beg him for money after he abandoned me? All I’ve done since he left is try to give you a better life, and I’m sick of you punishing me for it!”

You could’ve laughed at the absurdity of her words. How could she think that when all these years it felt like you were the one being punished? Instead of telling her some overdue truths, you let out a quiet scoff. “Whatever. He wasn’t going to agree to come no matter what I said to him, and you know it.”

Her silence feels like a victory, but it’s a temporary one. “What I know is that you’re only capable of disappointing me.”

You don’t get a chance to respond before your mom brushes past you with an infuriated scowl. You look back angrily, watching her storm into the building. There’s a familiar anger burning fiercely in your chest as the argument lingers in your mind. She’s not worth your anger, but you can’t stop the overflow of every ugly emotion you’ve been bottling up since the morning.

Things don’t get better after that first day.

Unfortunately for you, going to the city’s most expensive private school doesn’t get any easier with time. The year passes by slowly, and you can’t truly enjoy it because you’re either studying or working. It’s hard to do both, but you aren’t left with much of a choice since your new school brought about unexpected expenses that your mom can’t afford to pay for alone.

As the months pass by, you wonder if all your hard work is really worth it. This dangerous thought lingers in your mind when you get to school on a rainy day after missing your first bus. You’re wet, cold, and tired. After pulling an all-nighter because you had to study for your history test, you’re not in the best mood. And because you apparently had the worst luck ever, Lee Seokmin just has to approach you to remind you that your dad’s birthday is just around the corner.

“Is there a reason you’re telling me this?” You wonder as you half-heartedly shove books into your locker.

“I just...” Seokmin’s voice is meek and nervous. “Are you going to come to his party this time?”

It’s funny that he assumed you were invited this time or any of the other times. “No. I have work that day.”

It’s not exactly a lie. Despite not knowing what day the celebration would be, you knew that you’d either be busy studying or working. Not that this seems to click with the trust fund brat that was abnormally attached to your father.

“You can’t ask for the day off? It would mean a lot to dad if you came.”

His sentence makes your chest and stomach tighten with incredulity and annoyance because it’s so out of touch with reality. You can’t even laugh or feel angry. It’s tempting to tell him that you know your dad couldn’t care less if you went to his birthday party since he hadn’t even bothered to tell you when or where it was happening. Somehow, you manage to stifle your growing ire to respond civilly.

“It’s not like he’s going to be devastated if I don’t go.” You say calmly despite wanting to express the emotions that keep gnawing at your chest.

Seokmin frowns at your impassive attitude. “Of course he’ll care. He’s still your dad—”

“Listen.” You cut him off, slamming your locker shut and finally turning your angry stare at him. “You don’t know shit. Just because he’s played the part of the perfect daddy with you for years, doesn’t mean that’s who he is. So just leave me alone before you piss me off.”

Seokmin shifts uncomfortably, wishing that he hadn’t said anything in the first place. He never meant to antagonize you despite what you’re clearly thinking. He just wants to find some common ground with you. Childishly, he believes it’ll get rid of the guilty feeling he gets every time he sees you.

“Sorry.” Seokmin whispers. “I’ll leave you alone.”

Taking out the resentment you have for your dad on Seokmin doesn’t make you feel better. Somehow you manage to feel even worse after he walks away from you. This dejecting feeling doesn’t go away even as the day goes on. It actually gets worse when you sit down at the library to study during your free period.

It feels like your mind is coming to a crashing halt after being on overdrive for months. You try to pull through even though you’re fucking exhausted. All the effort you’re putting into your studies is so you can win the Merit Scholarship that would pay for your college, and burning out at this point in time wasn’t an option. The prospect of finally piecing your life back together to the way it was before makes it a little easier to ignore the fatigue and stress that lingers in your bones.

But for some reason this day (and the universe) seemed to be working against you.

“You’re fucking lying.” The voice is familiar, but you can’t place it.

“I’m not.” Now there’s a voice you recognize. It belongs to Joshua Hong—a.k.a the evil church boy who identifies as Jeonghan’s bestie. “I was there when he did it.”

“There’s no way Yoon Jeonghan applied for the Merit Scholarship.”

Those words make you freeze. Everything around you becomes a blur as disbelief clouds your senses. Instead of your mind racing with an excess amount of thoughts, there’s only one that keeps bouncing around in your mind: Yoon Jeonghan did this on purpose.

“He turned in the application months ago.” You swear you can hear a smirk in that deviant’s voice.

“Did his family go broke or something?”

“Yeah, right.” A different voice scoffs. “His dad just donated more money to have the arts building expanded. He definitely doesn’t need that scholarship.”

There isn’t many things you can see eye-to-eye on with the snobs at your school, but that last statement is definitely one thing you can agree on. Yoon Jeonghan doesn’t need the scholarship. If you were anyone else, you would think him applying for the scholarship was some mystery with no reasonable explanation, but you know better. This was all because of your refusal to concede to him. Your actions had obviously struck a nerve with his pride, and now he was going to hit you where it hurt.

You can’t even be fully angry. Not when it’s such a well thought out scheme. Still, you feel sick and unable to keep siting still to study. So you quickly gather your stuff and leave the library without noticing the pair of eyes that are watching your every move.

Josh snorts and pulls out his phone, quickly typing a message before sending it out with a satisfied smirk on his face.

It’s done. You should’ve seen her face LMAO.

If you think you can leave school peacefully to try and feel better, you’re proven wrong when you run into Jeonghan as you’re going home.

“You’re leaving already?” He says in a sickly sweet voice as he starts walking beside you. “Maybe you should stick around and study. You won’t win the Merit Scholarship by slacking off.”

“I don’t need to try that hard to beat you.”

There’s a subtle change in Jeonghan’s eyes as he glares at you. “I wouldn’t be so sure. Don’t forget that no matter how smart you are, you’re still a nobody to the people that matter.”

Maybe you should’ve been less naive of the situation. Jeonghan was an asshole, but was also right. You just didn’t know it yet.

Jeonghan begins to bother you more often after he lets you know he wants the scholarship. The remainder of the year he constantly torments and mocks you with the help of his snobby friends. Ignoring them isn’t easy, but the thought that you won’t have to put up with them for much longer helps you power through.

Before you know it, the day the winner of the scholarship will be announced arrives.

The school has an entire ceremony dedicated to academic excellence, and you happen to be one of the students being honored. Friends and family were all encouraged to come since they were giving out multiple awards. Since Seokmin wasn’t getting an academic award, your dad didn’t bother to show up, but he did encourage you to beat Jeonghan via text. You didn’t care so much because you had your mother there, and for the first time in a long time, she seemed genuinely happy. You could see her beaming at you proudly from where she sat.

In spite of all the arguments and resentment, you were thrilled that all your hard work had paid off. Finally, you were going to get your life back. All you had to do was win the scholarship and everything else would naturally fall into place. You’re seated in the second row as the head of the foundation that provided the scholarship steps up to the podium to announce the winner.

Unfortunately, the name of the recipient for the Merit Scholarship is not yours. Maybe the blow wouldn’t have been so devastating if the name that was announced didn’t belong to Jeonghan.

That asshole is sitting in the row in front of you, and like the final killing blow he always delivers when messing with you, he turns around to give you a triumphant smirk. Anger and disappointment clash inside you as if fighting for dominance to see which one is the more prominent feeling. You can feel your hands trembling and your throat tightening. The situation is unjust and cruel, but that doesn’t seem to matter to anyone except you.

This intense feeling worsens the more the situation sinks in. You don’t even want to look at your mom because you know she’s the only person who’s more angry and humiliated than you are. Everyone is cheering and clapping, but you physically can’t join in. Pretending to be happy for someone who had quite literally just ruined your life was something even you couldn’t do.

When the ceremony is over, your mom doesn’t say anything. Her expression is grim and veiled with muted anger. It makes the nerves in your stomach coil into an uncomfortable knot as you follow her out of the auditorium. You can’t say anything as a thick silence engulfs you because you know anything you say won’t be enough to appease her anger.

“This is just fantastic.” Her words come out in the form of an insincere laugh. “I worked my ass off to send you to this damn school, and this is how you repay me?”

It’s tempting to tell her that you’re the one who worked hard to get into the school despite never wanting to step back into this world, but instead you bite your tongue. After all, there’s no point in arguing with her. No amount of rage or disappointment will change the fact that you won’t be able to afford your dream college. With your current financial situation, pursuing higher education was out of the question, and because of your loss, so was the relationship with your mother.

“After all I’ve sacrificed!?” Her angry voice seems to echo throughout the large hallway, and you can feel the lingering people start to stare. “I’ve given up my entire life for you, and you couldn’t win that damn scholarship! You lost it to Yoon Jeonghan of all people!”

“Mom.” Your voice is flat and tired. “That’s enough. People are staring.”

Pointing that out would usually be enough to get her in check, but the deranged look in her eyes tells you that her anger goes beyond any embarrassment that her behavior might cause. “You’re not even sorry, are you?” She scoffs in angry disbelief.

“Neither are you.” The words come out before you can stop them. “You never had a problem with using me as your meal ticket until I didn’t win, right?”

You hear a chorus of shocked gasps when a cold hand collides with your cheek. A stinging sensation is left behind that has a different type of anger coursing through your veins. Your hand trembles as you bring it up to hold your throbbing cheek. Angry tears pool in your eyes as you look into your mother’s remorseless eyes.

“How dare you speak to me that way?” Her voice borders on a yell. “Every single thing I’ve done has been for you and your future. If I knew you were this useless, I wouldn’t have bothered.”

Your mom brushes past you as if you’re a perfect stranger to her. As if you mean nothing to her anymore. Holding the stinging tears in your eyes is painful, but that doesn’t compare to the hurt your mom’s words left behind.

Anger and misery collide together to form a weighing pressure on your chest that makes it difficult to breathe. It feels like your throat is closing in on itself, and you wonder if it’s because of the sob you’re holding in. The heavy tears fall from the top of your lids before you can try to blink them away. It’s humiliating, but you can no longer suppress your emotions like you’d been doing the whole time.

The burning sensation in your cheek has turned into a dull ache at this point, but all you can focus on is the feelings that are eating you from the inside. You see your peers and their families gawking at you. The whispers, snickers, and pitiful glances feel like daggers cutting into you, yet all you can do is stand stolidly and cry silently.

Just when you think you can’t feel any worse, you catch sight of Jeonghan and his family walking out of the auditorium with the head of the foundation. His father is shaking hands with the man, patting him on the back like someone would do to a longtime friend. Which is exactly what the head of the foundation is to him.

Now Jeonghan’s words from before made perfect sense. You’re a fool to realize it this late. Not that it matters anymore. Everything is over now, and all you can do is walk away.

“Your dad really outdid himself.”

Jeonghan offers the girl on his arm a disinterested hum. Honestly, he’d rather to be anywhere else but the gala his dad throws every year. Magnificent as it always is, it’s so boring and draining that it feels more like work than anything. His eyes keep scanning the room for any sign of his friends—or anyone that will save him from his boredom.

“Oh my god!” Mina releases his arm from the death grip she has on it to push past him. “Is that Y/F/N!?”

Jeonghan has to pause for several reasons:

1) Hearing that name after so long makes his chest and stomach flip in the most unpleasant way. 2) It’s unlikely that this airhead heiress is talking about you, but if she is, how is it possible that she knows who you are? 3) There’s no way you would be at his dad’s gala. 4) After disappearing for three years, it doesn’t make sense that you would suddenly appear here of all places.

But when he follows Mina’s line of sight, he sees that it is you, looking more elegant and gorgeous than ever. You’re wearing a designer gown that looks like it was custom made, and you have a tall, six foot nothing piece of arm candy by your side. Even Jeonghan can’t deny that you look like a picture of perfection, and he can’t even begin to figure out why or how you’re at his dad’s gala looking like that.

“And she's with Kim Mingyu!? Oh my god, I have to get a picture—!”

Jeonghan thinks Mina is joking until he sees that she’s already halfway across the room, which is the fastest he’s seen her move all night. Maybe the champagne has gotten to his head because there’s no fucking way any of this is real right now. To his horror, his date actually makes one of his father’s business associates take the picture.

“Close your mouth.” A familiar voice orders. “It’s unbecoming.”

His mom is coldly stringent with the delivery of her words. She doesn’t look surprised, and it makes him feel sick. What the hell is going on?

“Your father invited her.” Her tone leaves no room for questions. “So act like the gentleman I raised you to be, and go say hello.”

He can’t argue because not only is he completely speechless, but also due to the fact that his mom is quick to leave him standing alone. Jeonghan knows his eyes are open wide in that angry way that makes him look like he’s crazy, but he doesn’t care. Why was everyone suddenly acting like they were in some alternate universe?

“Son.”

Jeonghan’s body goes stiff. Immediately, he straightens his expression out as he turns to face his father. He’s met with a familiarly cold expression. It makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand. There’s a thick silence that envelopes them for a brief moment before his dad begins to speak. “Get that stupid look off your face and join me to go greet our guests.”

Again, he’s left with no room to argue because his dad walks away from him. Jeonghan is quick to follow behind him, aware of the consequences that would befall him should he disobey. Much to his chagrin, he sees his date has wandered off after successfully getting a picture with you and your date. This bizarre situation paired with his father’s attitude makes Jeonghan feel like a clueless little boy all over again.

The feeling gets worse when he comes face to face with you for the first time in years.

Your pretty eyes settle on him for a brief moment that can’t even be considered a full second before they look at his father. The man on your arm—Kim Mingyu—doesn’t acknowledge him at all. Jeonghan’s jaw ticks irritably, but he keeps his composure. Something else is clearly going on, and he would never hear the end of it if he ruined his dad’s covert plans.

“Y/N! Mingyu! I’m so glad you two made time to come!” Jeonghan’s father seems like a different person as he goes to shake hands with faux elation in his voice.

“We can’t stay long.” You say with an infuriatingly perfect smile. “But you’ll have to invite us next year because the event is fabulous.”

It irritates Jeonghan that his dad seems genuinely happy at receiving your stamp of approval. He wants to shake him and ask him if he’s lost his damn mind, but he can only plaster on a fake smile of his own.

“Of course.” There’s that fake politeness again. “Surely you two have time for a drink, though?”

Hearing his dad speak the way his employees do to him is sickening, and Jeonghan has to stop himself from gagging.

“Just one.” Mingyu says with a grin so charming that Jeonghan swears he hears some of the surrounding people swoon. “S.Coups is expecting us at his album release party. I’m sure you understand.”

“Of course.” He says in an understanding tone that he would’ve never used on Jeonghan. He doesn’t get time to contemplate his dad’s out of character behavior because the older man turns to you with a smile.

“Y/N, I’m sure you remember my son, Jeonghan.” His father puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes enough for it to hurt without making him visibly uncomfortable. “I think you two were still in high school the last time you saw each other.”

Finally, you two look each other in the face again. Your face is blank—a picture of impassive. Then, another beautiful smile graces your face. “That’s right. It’s good to see you again. How have you been?”

“I’ve been busy with school.” He hopes his smile doesn’t look as fake as it feels. “So have you, I presume?”

Jeonghan feels proud of his subtle dig until he feels his father stiffen beside him. Your smile doesn’t falter, but it does turn into an amused one as you share a look with Mingyu who doesn't bother to stifle the laugh that tumbles past his lips.

“Jeonghan.” The glare his father is giving him means he was definitely going to hear about his apparent slip up later. “You should go find Mina.”

Translation: Get lost before you embarrass me further.

“Oh. Sure.” Jeonghan tries not to feel like a scolded little boy who’s being shooed away. “It was nice to meet you, Mingyu. Nice seeing you again, Y/N.”

He’s not sure if you saying goodbye without a hint of amusement makes him feel better or worse.

The rest of the night proceeds smoothly, but Jeonghan has to leave early so he can avoid an awkward car ride back to the house with his parents. Not that it makes any difference because he can tell his dad is still very much angry at him when he gets home.

“I told you to go over the information my secretary gave you.”

His dad has a way of speaking that makes Jeonghan feel like he’s getting yelled at even though he isn’t. It makes him wish he hadn’t gotten drunk with Soonyoung instead of going over that damn binder full of names and faces. Obviously thinking he’d be able to skate by like all the other times was a severe miscalculation.

“You spend so much time on that damn phone that I thought you’d know Y/F/N and Kim Mingyu are at the top of the modeling industry right now. I’ve been trying to convince them to advertise our new cosmetic line for weeks!”

Jeonghan feels like his ears are ringing because there’s no way. He fights the urge to pull out his phone and search for confirmation. Maybe he should’ve done that when he got home instead of opening up the whiskey in his dad’s liquor cabinet.

“You said they didn’t seem offended that Jeonghan didn’t know who they were—” His mom is cut off by his dad’s angry yell.

“That doesn’t change the fact that your brilliant son still refuses to do what I ask of him!”

There’s a tense silence in the room as Jeonghan has to withstand the most scornful glare he’s gotten in his life. His father has a crazy look in his eye that makes Jeonghan feel two feet tall. “Any time they advertise a product, it sells out within days. If they refuse to endorse our products because of you—!”

“Honey,” his mother goes to her husband to placate him. “Jeonghan will apologize to them. Isn’t that right, son?”

She might not be yelling, but her voice is cold as ice, and Jeonghan is left with no room to disagree.

There’s not much that can intimidate Jeonghan, but even he has to admit that being in such foreign territory feels unnervingly daunting. After his dad’s secretary did some digging, he found out you were doing a photo shoot near his college. It’s a closed set, but luckily having the last name Yoon is like having an all access pass to pretty much any place he can think of.

This works until he tries to approach you as you’re getting your makeup touched up. Two burly men stop him from getting close, and a man who he would’ve assumed to be a model if it wasn’t for the way he was dressed stands behind them with a raised eyebrow.

“I made it clear to Lee Chan that there would be no interview.” His voice is rough and mean—something Jeonghan isn’t used to getting from anyone aside from his parents.

Jeonghan doesn’t know if he should be more offended that this guy assumed him to be of the working class or that he was being treated like someone that was beneath you. “No, that’s not—I’m a friend.”

The guy looks mildly surprised before he looks back at you. “You know this guy, Y/N?”

You look up from your phone with the same blank expression from the gala. Because you’ve acted cordial so far, Jeonghan doesn’t expect the next words to come out of your mouth. “No. I don’t.”

Jeonghan thinks about causing a scene, but then he knows that won’t help his predicament. So he lets himself be escorted off the sight, feeling more humiliated than ever. It’s unlike him to give up (not to mention that it’s not an option), which is why he waits by a car that undoubtedly belongs to you. To think that he would be reduced to go this far just to apologize to you is infuriating.

“There’s that creep from before.” Your manager frowns as you and your team are walking to the car.

You smirk, knowing what’s going to come next is going to be the highlight of your day. “It’s alright, Jihoon. He’s probably just a fan.”

Jeonghan is surprised when you gesture for him to come towards you while your team starts to get ready to leave. He clenches his jaw when he sees an arrogant smirk on your face. “Is there a reason you’re acting like a stalker and crashing my shoot?”

Insulting you is something Jeonghan wishes he had the option of doing, but he’s not willing to disappoint his father over some temporary satisfaction. After all, he only needs to give you an insincere apology and everything would be fine. So he takes a deep breath and hopes his words don’t come out sarcastic or mocking.

“I wanted to apologize for the other night.” Okay. That sounded somewhat sincere. “I didn’t know—”

“That your daddy’s been begging me to advertise his product?” You laugh. “I guess you just assumed that I married some rich guy to crawl my way up the social ladder, right?”

Shit. He has to do some damage control, and fast. “No—No. That’s not it at all...”

You wait for him to finish, but it really seems like he has nothing else to say. It’s not surprising, but it is amusing. Jeonghan still expected things to work in his favor just because of who he was, but he was in for a rude awakening. You step toward him with a vengeful smile on your face. “That apology is pathetic as you are.”

“What?” Jeonghan growls, unable to keep up this fake politeness he’s been showing you until now.

“You know, when your dad came to my agency to beg me to advertise those shitty products he came out with, I couldn’t help but think that you really are his son.” Your sneer is meaner than he remembers. “It was fun seeing him kiss my ass and offer me so much money, but you know what? I think trashing your daddy’s new product line is going to be so much more fun.”

You bump his shoulder as you walk past him, leaving him feeling like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped over his head. There was a malicious calmness in your tone that didn’t sit well with him at all.

Jeonghan quickly tries to do some damage control because even if you didn’t agree to advertise the new cosmetic line, Kim Mingyu could surely be swayed. The only problem is that he underestimated how much influence you actually have. Not only does the male model reject the apology, but he also officially declines the offer his father’s company made him.

If that wasn’t enough to piss his father off, you also decline the offer and follow it with a slanderous live that wasn’t technically slanderous under the court of law. Many comments came in about you potentially modeling for the line when you flat out said you didn’t particularly care for their products since they weren’t animal friendly and were overpriced. That caused enough backlash for the campaign ads that were underway to be halted immediately.

Despite trying to tell his parents that you never had any intention of advertising their products, he still found himself kicked out of the grand mansion he grew up in and forced to go stay at the frat house with eight other guys.

“Hold on. You know the Y/F/N!?” His friend yells after Jeonghan is done explaining why he got cut off. “You fucking traitor! How could you hide this from me when you know how much I love her?”

Jeonghan glares at Soonyoung, wanting to throttle him for only focusing on that part of the story. Also, he isn’t to blame for failing to realize the queen of the modeling industry his friend was always referring to was you.

“I still can’t believe you didn't know how famous she is.” Seungkwan says with a scoff. “She’s literally in a bunch of ads and magazines. Plus, she always walks in important fashion shows.”

Wonwoo smirks when Jeonghan pouts like a petulant child. The curiosity is eating away at him, and he feels the need to ask about something that’s not fully making sense to him. “So, you’re saying that Y/F/N did this because you’ve hated each other since you were kids?”

“She’s still not over me winning the scholarship she wanted.” Jeonghan says with a scowl. “Because of her, I have to do well on this interview so I can have some money to hold me over until I get full access to my trust next month.”

“You’re seriously going to apply for an internship at Vogue?” Soonyoung wonders with a raised eyebrow. “Won’t you be paid slave wages?”

Wonwoo and Seungkwan snicker, ignoring the glare Jeonghan throws their way. So the pay wouldn’t be great, but it was Vogue. To have an internship like that on his resume would do wonders for his career. Maybe money wasn’t the main attraction to the internship, but what he would get out of it would be worth so much more.

At least, that’s what he thinks until he’s sent to go help with a fitting for Xu Minghao’s upcoming spring collection. There’s plenty of models around who are needing minor alterations to the clothes they’re wearing, and Jeonghan has the great misfortune of handling the alterations needed for your dress.

Aside from you laughing at the fact that he’s literally on his knees, adjusting the hemline of the dress you have on, there’s nothing out of the ordinary. Until he accidentally pokes you with the needle, that is. The ow you let out isn’t overly loud, but it is enough to grab the attention of Xu Minghao and Jeonghan’s direct supervisor.

“Y/N, darling, what’s wrong?” Minghao asks you, grabbing your hands as he eyes you up and down.

“Nothing. I—I just thought you’d have interns who are capable of not poking the models when they do the alterations.” You say with a slight grimace, knowing exactly what pulls at the designer’s heart strings.

Jeonghan receives two withering glares, and before the day is over he no longer has a job.

Exacting your revenge was one of the greatest feelings you’d ever felt. The outcome of your actions was more than justified, but your manager didn’t seem to think so. Your behavior confused him because he never knew you to be so spiteful to someone who simply made a mistake.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s going on between you and that intern you got fired?”

You look up from the newly posted pictures from the Armani show that you closed last week. Jihoon’s eyes are still fixed on the road, but he’s always had this annoying skill for seeing right through you without even looking at you. There’s no use in lying to him—not that you were planning to. You just thought you’d have a little more time to enjoy your revenge before telling the only person who knew about your past with that trust fund brat.

“That intern is Yoon Jeonghan.”

Jihoon’s eyes widen when he hears the name of the person you despise the most in the world. He looks at the rear view mirror to see that you’re back to staring at your phone. He quickly focuses back on the road, grip tightening on the steering wheel.

“Oh.” He murmurs, unsure of what to say. “The same guy who—?”

He cuts himself off, but you know what he was about to say. The same guy who ruined your life? You don’t bother to finish the sentence for him.

“The very one.”

It’s silent for a moment before Jihoon speaks again. “Don’t you think you went a little too far?”

You don’t look up, but he notices the tightening of your jaw. The pause you take isn’t long, but it feels that way. “He has a trust fund to fall back on unlike me who had nothing when my mom kicked me out for not winning the scholarship he stole from me.”

Jihoon doesn’t say anything. You’re speaking about the worst moment of your life so casually that anyone would think it doesn’t bother you anymore, but he knows the truth.

“Did you hear back from the agency?” You ask, not wanting to keep talking about the past.

“Yeah. They don’t mind you going to classes for this semester as long as you still do the Marc Jacobs show in Milan and the Versace show in Paris.”

“I also promised Jun I’d do his New York show.” You mention with a victorious smile.

Jihoon hums in acknowledgment. He’s not against the idea of you taking your college classes in person for a semester, but he wonders if it will be okay.

As usual, your manager was right to worry.

Weeks of your college experience go by without any problems. During that time you didn’t notice that Jeonghan had been watching you. He didn’t follow you around or anything like that, but he had observed you long enough to notice that you were oddly attached to your laptop that looked like it was in need of a serious upgrade. And he knows. That’s the ticket to his revenge. So he patiently waits for his chance to grab that ticket.

It takes some convincing (a large sum of money) for Jeonghan to get his English professor to pair you with him for the upcoming project. All he needs to do is get that laptop from you to get the revenge he craves.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t be more angry. Never mind the fact that there was this perpetual animosity between you and your partner. Jeonghan was also one of the most idiotic people you had ever met. Carrying him on this project was the last thing you wanted to do.

“Don’t expect me to do all the work. I don’t care if have photo shoots or whatever. Make sure you know the material.”

You almost let out an incredulous scoff at his audacity, but instead you just give him an arrogant smile. “I think you forget that you’re the one who always lost to me when it came to academics.”

Jeonghan gives you smug smirk of his own. “And yet I’m the one who won the Merit Scholarship.”

For the first time since he’s seen you again, your arrogant expression falters. He’s not allowed to enjoy the dumb look on your face because you’re quick to smooth it out as if you weren’t slighted by his comment. It’s almost amazing how quickly you manage to cover up your expression.

“Please.” You scoff, trying not to yell at him in the middle of the library. “Your daddy bought that for you just like everything else you have. Too bad intelligence is something that even he can’t afford to get you.”

Jeonghan looks like he did all those years ago on your first day of senior year. His expression is so funny that you can’t help but laugh at him. Your mellifluous laughter catches the attention of some of the people sitting not too far from you who happened to be apparent fans of yours. The pair doesn’t hesitate to walk over to your table and ask for a picture.

You stand up and pose with each of them with that friendly smile you give to everyone except Jeonghan. While your back is turned, he sees your laptop slightly sticking out of your bag. It’s almost too easy to the grab the device and stick it in his own bag. He does it with a precision and smoothness that takes even him by surprise.

As soon as you’re done, you turn back to see Jeonghan gathering the books on the table, bag already slung over his shoulder like he’s ready to leave.

“What the hell? You’re leaving?” You say, annoyed that he was already not pulling his weight this early on.

“I have things to do.” Jeonghan says with a shrug. “I’ll text you later to let you know when I’m free to meet up.”

He leaves you frowning and unaware that he took the single most important item you own.

It’s not until you get back home that you realize your laptop is missing. You panic, practically tearing the house apart trying to find it. Every moment of the day flashes through your mind because you did have a tendency to forget things. It was the reason why Jihoon was responsible for handling most of your personal items when you did shoots.

Jihoon. You think as you search your room for the third time. He’s going to be so disappointed and angry.

The contents in the laptop isn’t what you’re worried about, but the laptop itself. Jihoon bought it for you after he convinced your agency that taking online classes would not affect your work. It meant so much to you because he was the only person who knew how much you had wanted to go to college despite not being able to after you graduated high school.

You’re nearly in tears after realizing that you really had lost it. Even if you went back to the campus early in the morning, it would take you forever to look for it in all the places you’d been to. Just as you’re about to call Jihoon to tell him what happened, you get a text from the last person you want to hear from.

Jeonghan sent a picture of himself holding your most prized possession with an infuriating message attached to it: You’ll get your laptop back if come to my party tonight and take a picture with my friend.

It’s a trap. You know it is. And yet, you still find yourself at the address you were given by the devil incarnate. The frat house is loud and full of people who don’t seem to care or notice who you are. Not that you mind. You only hope Jeonghan doesn’t make things difficult and gives you your laptop right away.

“Y/N!” The deviant yells your name when you finally find him.

Jeonghan is clearly drunk, holding your precious laptop close to him as he drinks some cheap beer. You keep a level head, knowing he just wants a reaction out of you. “Where’s your friend?”

Straight to the point, as always. Jeonghan smirks and whispers something to the boy next to him. His friend disappears into the crowd and returns with someone else minutes later. It’s a cute guy with shining eyes and an adorable smile.

“I love you.” He blurts once he sees you, a blush suffusing his entire face. “You’re so pretty and amazing—!”

He’s drunk, you can tell, but he also seems sincere. It makes you think maybe that rat Jeonghan has actually done this as some twisted way to make his friend’s wish come true. Even if that’s not the case, you could never be mean to someone who supports you—even if that person is friends with someone like Jeonghan.

“Let’s take a picture.” You say with a smile that’s surprisingly easy to conjure.

Naively, you think that Jeonghan will give you the thing you cherish the most after you comply to his wishes. After his friend leaves, he makes no move to give you your laptop. You should’ve expected it, but it still infuriates you.

“I can’t believe you actually came and did what I asked. It makes me wonder what you're hiding in here.” Jeonghan slurs with a smirk that makes you want to throttle him. “I bet you regret acting the way you have.”

You know he’s talking about the things you’ve done to him as soon as you saw him again, and you resist the urge to scream at him that this is nothing compared to what he did to you. Both of you are too focused on each other to see the camera aimed at the rapidly unfolding fight.

“Just give it back, idiot.” You seethe, trying to keep your composure because things are on the verge of getting messy.

“I’m surprised that top model Y/F/N still has this shitty model. Maybe you should think about upgrading.”

Jeonghan laughs again and tauntingly holds out your laptop. As you step forward to grab it, the sleek device slips out of his hand. Everything seems to go in slow motion as you watch the laptop hit the floor and break open. The screen completely detached from the keyboard, and despite being turned off, you can see the cracks that covered half the screen.

You can hear laughter and immature ohs filling up the space. All rational thoughts are ejected from your mind as you grab a cup from a random party-goer and throw it in Jeonghan’s face. The crowd seems to go wild, but that’s not what you’re focused on. Jeonghan doesn’t look shocked or angry. In fact, he looks a lot like the cat who ate the canary.

You realize too late that the guy from before is pointing his phone at you. There’s a sinking feeling in your stomach, but you easily mask your panic and go to pick up the pieces of your broken laptop. The night ends with you running out of the house and a video of you throwing beer in Jeonghan’s face being uploaded for the world to see.

This leaves Jeonghan feeling very pleased with himself.

When he first found out you were going to attend the college he worked so hard to make sure you didn’t get into, it felt like he was living in his worst nightmare. But now with you getting backlash for throwing beer in his face, he’s never felt better. His parents had even reached out to him to get dinner and discuss him moving back in.

“I’m literally never talking to you again.” Soonyoung glares at him with deep resentment. “How could you use me to set up Y/F/N? She probably hates me now.”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes as Seungkwan sympathetically pats his friend on the back. “Don’t worry. I’m sure she hates Jeonghan way more.”

Wonwoo snorts while Soonyoung’s pout gets more sulky by the second. While anyone could agree that Jeonghan’s actions were petty and borderline sociopathic, most of the frat was just glad to have him go back to normal. His temperament had been exponentially worse since you decided to finish the semester in person.

The victory, however, is short-lived.

Two days after the video Jeonghan’s frat brother initially posted, you post a video of your own. The caption was nothing short of absolving: Guess he’s mad I didn’t want to endorse the products his daddy tests on animals.

It’s a factor Jeonghan didn’t consider. Someone else had filmed the entire thing from the part where he’s taunting you about your laptop to the part where he so clearly drops it on purpose and you react by throwing beer in his face. It’s almost comedic how fast public opinion changes. The stocks to his father’s company plummet not even a full hour after you post the video, and Jeonghan is getting way more backlash than you did.

When he sees his dad blowing up his phone, he knows this is the final nail in the coffin that will sever the ties with his family.

Meanwhile, you’re not holding up much better. In spite of managing to spin the situation in your favor, your agency is still displeased that you were involved in a scandal at all. Not to mention that Jihoon is clearly disappointed in you. It’s to be expected since he’s the one who helped you convince everyone that taking classes in person wouldn’t be a problem.

“You told me you didn’t want anything to do with Yoon Jeonghan.” Jihoon reminds you two stand in your living room. “Why did you go there in the first place when you’re the one always saying he's some sort of evil mastermind?”

You frown at him, feeling tears of frustration begin to gather in your eyes. “He took the laptop you gave me! How could I let him keep it when you bought it on the salary you had back then?”

Jihoon’s features soften instantly. He lets out a deep sigh and pulls you into his arms. So that’s why. Even he had failed to remember how much that old laptop meant to you. It makes him smile as you quietly sniffle into his shoulder. Jihoon thinks back to when he bought you the laptop and how grateful you had been. He can still remember clearly how you told him that he was the only person to ever believe in your dreams.

“I’m sorry.” He says as he gently pats your back. “I forgot how much that laptop means to you, but I’ll buy you a new one, okay? I should’ve gotten you a new one a long time ago, anyway. Thanks to you and Mingyu, my salary has increased.”

Even after he gets a tearful laugh, Jihoon wonders if going to college is really what’s best for you. He’s the last person who would want to stop you from chasing your real dream, but he can’t shake the feeling that your war with Yoon Jeonghan is far from over.

Jeonghan is an easy going guy who can laugh at his own misfortune, but he really doesn’t see the humor in you single-handedly ruining his life. His friends disagree. Especially Josh, who came down to visit him after years of being abroad.

“I don’t know why you’re acting all surprised. If I was Y/N, I’d try to ruin your life too.” Josh says before he takes a bite of his food. “Actually, I’m surprised that she didn’t try sooner. Especially after what happened at the awards ceremony.”

Soonyoung and Seungkwan’s curiosity is piqued upon hearing that last statement. They lean forward, abandoning all interest in the exquisite food in front of them. In the rendition of Jeonghan’s backstory of the supermodel that hates him, there was no mention of an awards ceremony.

“What happened at the awards ceremony?” Wonwoo asks immediately, not understanding why Jeonghan genuinely looks like he doesn’t know what Josh is talking about.

The atmosphere has quickly changed, and Jeonghan can’t figure out why Josh is making that day seem like it was something more than it was. But there was this feeling in the pit of his stomach that kept growing bigger and bigger. Had something else happened that he didn’t know about?

Josh notices the tense silence that’s suddenly surrounding the table and clears his throat. “I mean, technically, Jeonghan is the one who plotted to ruin Y/N’s life first. He’s the reason her mom went all psycho on her at our end of the year awards ceremony.”

The silence from before gets thicker and more uncomfortable the longer it lasts. Jeonghan looks like he’s just heard some life altering revelation while Josh is looking as clueless as the rest of the boys.

“Wait—” Josh puts down his fork, eyes wide with disbelief. “Why are you acting like you don’t know?”

“I...” Jeonghan swallows thickly. All he remembers from that day is that vacant expression you had on your face when he won the scholarship. The one that still makes him feel like someone is reaching inside his chest and squeezing his heart.

“So what exactly happened?” Seungkwan asks since his friend can’t seem to even think straight.

“We were all mean to her.” Josh admits with a sigh. “I mean, she’s the daughter of a failed businessman, plus she had beef with Hannie since birth. It was too easy to give her shit and fuck with her.”

His friends are uncharacteristically quiet, and it’s so uncomfortable that Jeonghan just wants to die. But not before he hears about what Josh meant about the awards ceremony.

“When Jeonghan found out she applied for the Merit Scholarship, he applied for it too. His dad is friends with the guy who was head of the scholarship foundation, so of course he was going to get it. We all thought it’d be pretty funny to see how her parents would react when she lost.”

Jeonghan’s friends give him very judgmental stares that he honestly deserves.

“But I didn't get to.” Jeonghan recalls quietly. “Y/N and her mom left the auditorium right after, and I had to stay behind to take a bunch of pictures for the school’s newsletter.”

There’s another tense silence where Joshua looks like he has some sort of dilema. He wonders if telling Jeonghan after so long is only going to make things worse.

“You said Y/N’s mom went all psycho on her.” Wonwoo says. “How is that Jeonghan’s fault?”

“Aside Y/N would’ve gotten that scholarship if it wasn’t for Jeonghan, her mom was mad because she lost to him in particular. As soon as they got outside she started yelling at her about how useless she was. She even slapped her in front of everyone and basically disowned her."

“Damn.” Is all Soonyoung is able to say before turning to Jeonghan. “I would hate you too.”

Jeonghan can’t say anything because he’s thinking the exact same thing.

After a very eye-opening lunch, Jeonghan realizes now that you won’t stop your revenge until you’ve completely destroyed him. This sends him into a panic and makes him come up with a plan that will hopefully knock you down a few pegs.

Jeonghan enlists the help of your stepbrother, Seokmin. Unbeknownst to maybe the kindest guy he’s ever met, he helps Jeonghan lure not only you, but also your dad to the silent auction your university is hosting. Getting you two to arrive at the same times is a bit tricky, but Jeonghan manages to pull it off after telling Seokmin to give your father a certain time.

All Jeonghan has to do is linger by the entrance and wait for you to arrive. Which you do, and in a beautiful dress, no less. It’s almost a pity that your night is going to be ruined in approximately five seconds. He’s far enough for you to not notice him yet and close enough to hear your father call out to you from behind.

“Y/N.”

You freeze at the sound of your name being spoken. It had been years, but you would never forget that voice. You turn around slowly, feeling an onslaught of emotions hit you like a truck when you see your father standing in front of you.

There’s a tension between you and your father that Jeonghan recognizes immediately. For some reason, it makes him feel uncomfortable rather than satisfied. He's not sure why that is, but he can't stop watching. It’s unexpected because despite knowing that you were estranged from him, he didn’t expect it to be like this.

“How have you been?” Your father is hesitant in his movements as he steps closer to you.

You hate feeling the way you currently do; like a little girl who’s powerless in front of her father. The feeling is worse because he’s staring at you like he never abandoned you to start another life that didn’t involve you.

“You’ve seen the articles.” You reply coldly. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know.”

The tense atmosphere affects even Jeonghan, and he can’t help but start to feel a little regret because this is not what he had in mind at all. It’s not funny nor does it satiate the vengeful side you always brought out in him. Right now, the situation feels like some sort of erroneous event that should’ve never happened in the first place.

“I was pleased to see what you’ve done to the Yoon family.” He genuinely sounds proud, but you’re not twelve years old anymore so it doesn’t mean anything to you. All it does is make you feel sick. “Honestly, I never thought you’d be able to do it. You surprised me.”

Jeonghan can’t laugh. It should be funny, but it's not. Your father is giving you a back-handed compliment despite being one of the top models in the industry and someone who has the potential to be a global star. Instead of that sweet feeling he’s always gotten from messing with you, all he feels is disgust.

“I’m sure your mom is pleased as well.” He says awkwardly after you don’t say anything. “How is she, by the way?”

The last thing you want to talk about is her, but his ignorance to the feelings you harbor for your mom actually makes you scoff in bewilderment. Emotions you thought you’d gotten rid of long ago start to push at the surface and gather at the center of your chest. You hate that you can’t shove them away and pretend they’re not affecting you the way they are.

Jeonghan flinches when your next words come out in the phonic form of ice. “You know I haven’t talked to her since she kicked me out of her house.”

There’s this long pause where the entire vicinity seems to have gone as cold as your voice. The candor of your words make Jeonghan’s jaw drop. An intense discomfort seeps into his veins and strikes him right in the chest. The story Joshua told him is undoubtedly true, and now he’s starting to realize he was the one who put that domino effect into place.

“I would’ve helped you if you let me—”

Your dad stops talking when you start laughing. It’s not a joyful or amused laugh. It’s cold and resentful. You almost can’t believe the audacity that your father has. His selective memory has always pissed you off, but now he was crossing the line.

“Why are you here?” You demand, unwilling to prolong this unexpected encounter. “This is an alumni event.”

“Seokmin invited me.” His answer shouldn’t have disappointed you, but for some infuriating reason it still did. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

There’s so many things that you want to say. All these years you thought about how it would all play out if you saw him again, but now that it’s actually happening, you can’t say anything that you wanted to.

“The actions you’ve taken against the Yoon family have impressed me so far.” He says like you’ll be happy about his praise. “I thought it would be appropriate to say this to you. That’s all.”

When you see that familiar contempt and unimpressed expression on your father’s face, you can’t help but think that you should’ve never left your house to come out. The figure in your peripheral vision hasn’t moved, and you can only assume he’s waiting for you to react the way he wants.

The silence that looms is tense and uncomfortable. Even Jeonghan can feel it from where he’s watching. It’s strange. The scene in front of him should be satisfying, but it’s not. Not even close.

“What is it that you want to say, then?”

“I know for a fact that Yoon Jeonghan is planning to use a large part of his trust to buy your rival agency. I’ll loan you a substantial amount of money to counter that offer and steal it from him.”

Now, there’s not much that can catch Jeonghan off guard, but what the fuck. His intentions and deals were strictly confidential. How was it possible that your father knew?

“I’m sure you know the reason this chance is so important.”

That anticlimactic moment makes Jeonghan pause. He vaguely recognizes the sick feeling in his stomach as one of realization. The scene in front of him was nothing more then a distorted reflection of his own relationship with his father.

In the time he hadn’t seen you, you’d gotten good at schooling your reactions, but now anyone can see how helpless you feel. That expression reminds him of how he felt when his own father told him to buy the agency and find a model that was capable of taking the crown you’ve had for the last two years. It was never about Jeonghan’s happiness, it was all about his dad’s vanity and ego. He could see now that was still the case for you as well.

“You want me to humiliate him and his family one more time.”

Your father smirks. “Now you’re getting it. You need to prove to everyone—especially that boy and his family—that you’ve always been better.”

All the things you’ve done to Jeonghan come to the forefront of your mind and you suddenly feel more sick and disgusted than ever. This entire time you inadvertently pushed your obsessive father’s agenda because you were still angry about something that happened years ago. There’s this tight knot in your throat that suddenly makes it hard to speak, but you manage anyway.

“When are you going to stop using me for your petty rivalry?” You demand angrily. “I’m not going to be the kind of person who steps on other people for no reason.”

Your father scoffs, furious eyes filled with disappointment. “No reason?”

His laughter that follows is cold and manic. “You think this is just about my dislike for that family? No. This is about who you’re going to turn out to be. Are you going to be weak? Swayed by every sob story that crosses your path? How do you expect to take over my company if you’re so spineless?”

Jeonghan doesn’t feel any satisfaction like he expects. Instead he feels this ugly, jagged feeling deep in his chest. He feels like he's watching some sort of reenactment of him and his own father.

“Don’t forget. I have no use for such a pathetic daughter.”

The silence feels like it’s going to last forever, and in the stillness, Jeonghan feels sorry for you. This entire time he had been so stuck on his own turmoil that he forgot you were also the verge of being crushed by the weight of your family’s expectations. Just like his own father, your dad clearly had no regard for anyone’s feelings—even his own child’s. The test of time hadn’t changed him at all. Unfortunately, the same could be said for his father. It was disheartening to know that you were both nothing more than pawns in their childish game of revenge.

“That’s funny because right now the pathetic one is you.” Jeonghan feels oddly proud at how cutthroat you sound right now. “Don’t act like that company is something you can give away, you know, since it belongs to your wife and not you.”

Your truthful words finally manage to silence him, but you can’t stop there. “Plus, I know you’d rather give everything you have to Seokmin anyway, right? I mean, he is the son you’ve always wanted.”

“Don’t blame him for my mistakes, Y/N.”

“God—When are you going to open your fucking eyes and realize I don’t blame anyone else but you!?” You suddenly yell, unable to keep stifling your feelings.

It’s quiet for a moment before your father speaks again, his voice cold and calculating. “What about the Yoon family? Don’t you blame them? Aren’t they the ones who crushed your dreams?”

Jeonghan holds his breath despite knowing your answer. Of course you did. There was no way you didn’t. If the roles were reversed, he would, too.

You did blame that fucking family for a lot, but never for what your parents did to you. They had nothing to do with the fact that your mom and dad aren’t worthy of being parents. Also, if you truly thought back on it (which you had—countless times), your parents were the one who destroyed your dreams before anyone else could.

“Why would I blame anyone else for what you and your ex wife did to me? You two are the ones who decided I was useless because I couldn’t get you back to where you wanted to be.” You say, voice void of any perceptible emotion.

The silence is thick and heavy with tension. You swallow thickly and belatedly remember that you’re being watched. By this time, you imagine Jeonghan has enough material to humiliate you accordingly, but you’re too fucking exhausted to care. The petty actions you’ve taken so far were justified in your eyes, but even so, you wish you had just let it go. Talking to the man who abandoned you and only came looking for you when he deemed you as useful let you see that.

“Just leave.” Dad. You almost say it like he’s worthy of being that. “Do what you want with this sick obsession you have with the Yoon family, but leave me out of it because I’m done being used for your petty revenge.”

Your father scoffs. “I knew you didn’t have what it takes. I’ll go, but I’ll leave you with this: Yoon Jeonghan’s father knows his son will stop at nothing to destroy you. He was bragging about how his son was going to ruin you with this agency he’s going to buy. Think about that next time you want to be the better person.”

With that, he walks away from you, possibly for the last time.

Despite feeling numb, there’s still angry tears poking the back of your eyes. You let out a shaky sigh, knowing now isn’t the time to cry like you want. “Are you going keep hiding in the shadows like you didn’t set this up?”

Jeonghan’s blood runs cold, and for a moment he contemplates on running. He’s not exactly sure how you found out or even knew that he was watching, but there was no point in pretending. As usual, you knew everything.

You turn around, face still a mess of emotions. Two hours before, you might’ve cared about losing face in front of Jeonghan, but that was no longer the case. No matter what actions he took against you after this, you were done feeding into this game. As soon as the semester was over, you were going back to your normal life and leave behind all these shitty memories.

The expression on your face is eerily similar to the one from when he took your scholarship—a look of defeated resignation. Jeonghan figures that he gets a similar expression on his face when he fights with his dad. That suffocated look is one he knows all too well.

“You’re not going to say anything?”

Jeonghan is reminded of that first day of senior year when he saw you again. In that split second as you're gazing at him with crystal-like tears shining in your pretty eyes, he makes a decision.

“Be my girlfriend.”

His words hang in the air, and you can only look at Jeonghan like he’s lost his mind. You two stare at each other, until you finally manage to form some words through your bewilderment. “What? What are you—?”

“Be my girlfriend.” He says with more conviction. “And help me get revenge on our parents.”

You blink, feeling more confused than ever. Briefly, you wonder if the intensity of your emotions has driven you into some sort of delirium. Either that, or Jeonghan really has lost his mind.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He actually pouts at you. “You said you were done being used by your dad. I feel the same way. I’m tired of only being useful for their sick obsession.”

Maybe it’s the exhaustion you feel from all the emotions you’ve ran dry or maybe it’s because the little snake actually sounds convincing, but either way you agree.

“Fine, but I have conditions.”

Realistically, Jeonghan knew that (fake) dating you wouldn’t be easy, but he never expected to be put on blast like he has been—least of all by you. He’s waiting outside your last class, trying to pretend like he’s not furious.

“Angel face.” Jeonghan’s smile is deceptively calm and pretty. “We need to talk.”

You grimace at him as he loops his arm through yours and begins walking you out of the building towards his sleek car. “Yeah, we do because what the hell is that pet name? It makes you sound like some middle-aged creep.”

Jeonghan laughs stiffly, not wanting to attract the wrong kind of attention. People were already skeptical about your relationship, and he couldn’t let his brilliant plan fail before it got to the good part. He manages to keep his cool and even opens the passenger door for you, gently stroking your head as you get in. It’s almost annoying how good he is at acting affectionate.

“You’re breaking your own rules.” Jeonghan scowls as he starts the car.

You already know he’s talking about your interview that went public an hour ago. His deep frown makes you smirk. “Don’t be mad at me, angel face.”

Jeonghan’s annoyance is oddly soothed by your cute laughter, and he briefly wonders if he’s starting to go insane. His friends would likely tell him that he is. Meanwhile, you’re also wondering if you’re going insane because the surly pout Jeonghan has on his face isn’t as off-putting as it usually is.

“I did what was necessary for the plan.” You explain, trying not to sound like you’re mocking him. “Now everyone likes us together. See?”

Jeonghan finally looks at your phone when he gets to a stoplight. Even just skimming the comments under the article, he can see the tides beginning to shift in his favor. He looks back at the road with a pout. Sure, everything was in the name of revenge, but he wasn’t sure if the humiliation was worth it.

“I guess, but... I don’t think you had to say that I cried while begging for your forgiveness.”

You give him an annoyed look. “Honestly, that’s the least you could do to repent for everything that you’ve done to me. Just consider yourself lucky that I let everything slide due to our mutual need to get revenge.”

Jeonghan scoffs, but says nothing else the entire time he drives to the restaurant he’s been dying to eat at for weeks. The reservation he made two weeks ago was at the beginning of next month, but you had managed to get one within minutes. It was one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city, and he had heard nothing but good things.

Your hands slips into his easily as you two walk into the two MICHELIN star restaurant. Jeonghan tries not to think about how holding your soft hand doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as he thought it would. Instead he focuses on the extravagant interior of the restaurant. He’s seen the pictures online, but they didn’t capture the essence of the place at all.

He notices the looks you’re getting from the staff when you say your last name to the hostess. Unlike the attention you get at school, the other guests and staff are subtle with the looks they’re giving you as you two are guided into the restaurant. It’s a different type of uncomfortable, but Jeonghan notices that you don’t seem to be fazed by it at all.

“Hannie.” You call so affectionately that Jeonghan has to stop himself from gaping at you. “I booked one of the tables on the balcony, I hope you don’t mind.”

“No.” He says, feeling like he’s in a trance as you look at him with those pretty eyes of yours.

As you two near the balcony, he sees the group of people sitting at one of the tables. Your hand tightens around his, but your face remains clean of any emotions. Jeonghan isn’t sure why he softly caresses your thumb in a comforting way. Maybe it’s because he knows that despite wanting revenge, executing it didn’t mean all the unpleasant feelings that came with seeing your father would magically go away.

“How’d you know he’d be here?” Jeonghan wonders after you two are seated.

You hum softly, thinking of a way to say something so deprecating without sounding completely pitiful. Eventually, you decide you don’t need to be so cautious because Jeonghan has already seen all the ugly parts of your life you never wanted anyone to see.

“It’s his birthday, today.” Your gaze flickers past his shoulder for a split second. “He always has this intimate dinner with his family before throwing his actual party. Seokmin mentioned that he wanted to have the dinner here this year.”

Jeonghan doesn’t have time to process how detached you seem because you give him a wicked smirk. “I know you can’t see, but he looks fucking livid right now.”

He’s not sure why he feels relieved when you start laughing like you weren’t feeling suffocated a few seconds ago. It makes him wonder if you’re aware that he can still tell what you’re feeling. Jeonghan had an innate talent for it since childhood, and now it seemed to be more fine-tuned than ever.

“Then, should we take it a step further?”

You give him a questioning gaze. The confusion you feel slowly turns into an emotion that feels somewhat familiar yet foreign all at the same time. It’s something you can’t pinpoint or name, but it’s definitely there as Jeonghan puts a velvet box on the table. Something inside your chest jerks when you realize that he went out and bought you a gift to help you get the reaction you were looking for.

Jeonghan slides the box over to you, a cocky smirk on his face. “Open it, darling. I’m sure you’ll love it.”

You don’t comment on the pet name (especially since you like it way better than the other one) as you do what he says. The box contains a beautiful necklace that looks like it could be from a man in love (or one set on getting revenge).

“It’s beautiful.” You say with a smile as the feeling in your chest jerks again. “Want to put it on me?”

Jeonghan immediately stands from his seat and walks around the table. He’s good at keeping his eyes trained on you, but out of the corner of his eye he can see the three heads clearly staring in the direction of your table. Jeonghan takes the necklace from the box and bends down to clip it into place. Your scent invades his senses, and it makes it way too easy to admire the way the diamonds shine against your skin.

You feel soft lips press against your cheek before gentle words are whispered into your ear. “It suits you just like I knew it would.”

There’s a loud thumping in the air that only you two can seem to hear.

Jeonghan’s hands are holding on to your shoulders as you look up at him. The thumping seems to get louder. “Thank you for my gift, love.”

On impulse more than anything, your (fake) boyfriend swoops down to press a lingering kiss on your lips. He pulls back, feeling an awkward warmth crawling up his neck. You don’t look surprised or disgusted, instead you give him a fond smile that seems more genuine the longer he looks at it. Jeonghan takes his seat again, the infuriated man tables behind you long forgotten by either of you.

There’s a shift in your relationship that night. It’s subtle, but it’s there. Neither you nor Jeonghan really take notice. All you two are aware of is that playing pretend isn’t as awful as you both thought it would be. Expectedly, you scheming deviants have the time of your life playing with this new dynamic there is between you.

Jeonghan has become overly familiarized with your apartment by now. He’s waiting on your nice couch, watching as your team finishes working on your hair and makeup. It’s interesting to see just how much effort goes into looking absolutely flawless for all the cameras. Before this, he didn’t realize certain types of makeup and hair styles photographed better.

“Flawless as always!” Your makeup artist squeals as he takes videos and pictures to document his handiwork.

You don’t look exhausted physically, but Jeonghan still worries that you might already be drained. He knows he would be, especially because your manager keeps reminding you of all the people you need to get a photo with and at what time you need to be home by because you have two different shoots in the morning.

Jeonghan watches silently as your stylist follows you to your room to help you put on the custom dress Wen Junhui has made especially for you to wear to the new Givenchy pop-up shop opening. From what you’ve said, it’s supposed to match the suit he has on—which was also custom made for him by the famous designer.

When you step back into the living room wearing the fitted dress, Jeonghan feels like he’s staring at a living goddess. He can’t take his eyes off you as Jihoon snaps some photos of you. Being starstruck is something he didn’t think was actually possible, but now he understands why Soonyoung still can’t act normal when he brings you around.

“You look amazing.” Jeonghan says breathlessly, still completely entranced by your appearance.

“So do you. I’ll have to give Jun my thanks for making us the hottest couple at this event.”

After a few pictures together for your socials, you two set off to the pop-up shop. The event is expectedly large and grand. So many important people had gathered, but he only cared about the one person who he knew would be there. Jeonghan is quick to spot his father. Ironically, he’s talking with the man who designed the suit he's wearing.

You’re only a little taken aback when Jeonghan wraps his arms around you while you’re talking to a newcomer model you met last year during fashion week. It’s all you can do to keep talking normally as he rests his chin on your shoulder. His hands gently caress the material of your dress. He’s pressing himself closer to you like he wants to mold your bodies together.

When you’re finally left alone, you turn your head to give him a questioning look. You only get a pleased expression in return. The adorably goofy look makes your heart flutter with unwarranted affection.

“I’m clingy.” Jeonghan says bluntly. “And as my girlfriend, you’re obligated to indulge me.”

Your laugh is airy and filled with endearment because honestly, you don’t hate the faux affection. His embrace isn’t uncomfortable. Oddly, it makes the usual anxiousness you get at these events melt away. It’s only an added bonus to what you actually came by to get.

His father looks a lot like yours did. It’s almost funny because it takes less than a second after he sees you two together for him to come over and demand to speak to his son alone. You almost decline for Jeonghan, but you stop yourself when you remember the clause that states neither of you will interfere with family matters other than indirectly making them angry with your relationship.

Your (fake) boyfriend isn’t gone for long, but he’s clearly upset. Instead of letting it visibly show, he indulges in more champagne and mingling. It’s only when he starts slurring his words that you decide it’s time to go.

You're not sure why you don’t take him back to his frat house. It would’ve been easier and less of a hassle, but you found yourself unwilling to part with Jeonghan when he was clearly so distraught and incoherent. You force feed him water before laying him down in your guest bedroom.

“My dad’s such an asshole.” Jeonghan sighs, arm thrown over his eyes as you take off his shoes for him.

You hum in agreement, finally looking back at his face. His cheeks and neck are suffused with color, and you wonder what exactly his father said to make him this upset. It makes you wonder if he was starting to regret doing this entire thing with you.

“Don’t think about him anymore.” You whisper, not sure why that last thought is so upsetting. “Just get some sleep, okay?”

You go to get up, but are stopped by a gentle hand wrapping around your wrist. Jeonghan has moved his arm and is now looking directly at you. His eyes are shining with so many emotions that you recognize, but somehow can’t seem to decipher enough to tell what exactly he’s feeling. The intensity of his stare makes somehow makes you feel exposed.

“Stay with me.” His voice is more vulnerable than you expect. “Please.”

It’s like your legs move on their own as they sit you back at his side. He doesn’t make a move to let go of your wrist and you don’t think to shake off his touch. The silence is full of unspoken words, and you only wait for him to say what’s clearly bothering him.

“I don’t hate you.”

His words are surprising, mostly because they’re something you never thought you’d hear. Jeonghan doesn’t give you a chance to say anything because he keeps talking. “I don’t know why, but I can’t hate you the way I’m supposed to.” His gaze goes to the ceiling as if he’s trying to sort out all the thoughts you can see running through his mind. “I never could.”

“I don’t hate you either.” You tell him honestly.

“But I ruined your life.” Jeonghan frowns as if he’s recalling every horrible thing he ever did to you.

“I ruined yours.” You counter lightheartedly.

Jeonghan laughs a bit and closes his eyes. “Hope you can forgive me for real someday.”

He starts snoring before you can tell him that you already have.

“They look so cute together.”

This phrase was one Jeonghan got used to hearing since you two started dating, and he hates it. Not because it’s unpleasant to hear (it’s not), but because half the time that phrase was being used to describe you and Kim Mingyu. The two girls in his financial analysis class are squealing about your most recent photo shoot which included some shots with your model friend.

“Jealousy is not a good look on you.” Seungkwan laughs when he sees the look on his friend's face.

Jeonghan only rolls his eyes and pretends that Seungkwan’s words don’t affect him the way they do. Because there’s no way he’s jealous. How could he be jealous of someone that was nothing more than a coworker? And there's no reason for him to be jealous even if that wasn’t the case because he doesn’t have any feelings for you.

At least, that’s what he tells himself when you tell him you’re going to have to reschedule your weekly dinner because of that stupidly tall model everyone ships you with. Instead of letting it go like he should’ve done, Jeonghan reminds you that having dinner out in public once a week is part of your deal.

It’s almost cute the way he does it. Jeonghan says it like a whiny child that’s begging for attention. So you promise him to meet him the next day, but he’s not having it. Jeonghan insists that you come to his frat’s party after you’re done. Which you do, and you don’t know what to think on what you stumble on. Jeonghan is absolutely hammered, but he’s also really happy to see you.

“Darling!” He yells, abandoning the game of beer pong he’s currently winning.

You’re surprised when he races toward you and crushes you with a hug. The wolf whistles and cat calls fade into the background as Jeonghan pulls you along with him to sit on the couch, not caring for his partner’s loud protest for him to finish the game. His grip is strong as he tugs you on his lap. The grin he gives you when you easily comply is so pretty it hurts.

“You look so pretty.” Jeonghan is talking to you in pout, and you think you might melt at how cute he looks. “Can’t believe you went out with another guy looking so good.”

You let out a shocked laugh. He sounds like a jealous boyfriend, and for some reason it doesn’t repulse or annoy you. It does confuse you, though.

“I can’t believe you were out here getting drunk with sorority girls while I had a business dinner with Mingyu and Jihoon.”

His laugh is so cute, and the way he hugs you tighter and burrows his face into your neck is even cuter. You notice the lingering eyes, and it reminds you that the affection you’re receiving isn’t real. It also makes you think about how there’s really no need for him to be acting like this. There’s no reporters around or anyone that would run back to your families to let them know how “in love” you two are.

And yet, you don’t feel like pushing him off.

“Let’s get you to bed.” You say, trying to act like your heart isn’t pounding as if it’s on the verge of imploding.

“To your house?” He looks up, hooded eyes looking at you with an emotion that seems familiar, but foreign-looking in his eyes.

“No.” You force yourself to say despite wanting to give into his pleading stare. “Your bed is upstairs, silly.”

Jeonghan leans more into you, letting out disappointed hum that tickles your skin. “Want to stay with you.”

You’re pretty sure you’re going to regret what you do next, but you for some reason you can’t explain to yourself, you’re unwilling to leave him alone when he clearly wants to stay with you. So you decide it’s easier to take him upstairs as he drunkenly points out where his room is. You plop down on his bed, surprised that Jeonghan hasn’t let go of you once the entire time.

“I’ll stay until you fall asleep.” You say as he shoves his face in your neck.

“Stay forever.”

It’s stupid the way your heart interprets the words even though your brain knows he only meant stay for tonight. You’re more worried that you wish he meant it in the way he said it.

In the morning, you wake up to see that you’re alone. The discomfort you feel is eased when the door opens minutes later to reveal Jeonghan with several shopping bags in hand. You spot the familiar Valentino and Christian Louboutin bags almost instantly.

“You’re awake.” The smile he gives you is sleepy and tired, but so damn attractive.

“You went shopping.” You say, trying to understand how he got up before you. “Don’t you have a hangover?”

“I do.” He admits, shyly rubbing the back of his neck. “But you need fresh clothes after you shower, so I went out to buy you some. I also got you some other stuff from the drug store.”

You don’t know how to process the fact that your fake boyfriend went out to buy you all the things you need. Especially since it was clear he made more than one stop. Jeonghan doesn’t seem to notice just how shocked you are as he places the bags on his bed and insists you look through them. You do as he says, feeling an intruding warmth fill your chest.

“Why’d you get me shoes?” You wonder when you open the Louboutin box.

“The shoes you came with don’t go with the dress I got you.”

His words make your heart thump with adoration that can’t be stifled. Heat spreads across your face as you hastily thank him before hurrying into the bathroom with the toiletries he bought for you so he can’t see just how much his actions affected you. It’s hard to ignore all the emotions gathering in your chest. Jeonghan is an exceptionally good actor, but you keep wondering why he's going this far. What’s worse is that you can’t say you hate it. Actually, you probably like it a little too much.

When you’re done showering, you dry your hair and try on the dress Jeonghan bought you. It’s snug against your frame, and you have to marvel at the fact that he actually did a great job choosing your size. You tentatively step out of the bathroom to see Jeonghan sitting on the bed occupied with his phone. It feels like the air is knocked out of him when he looks up to see you dressed in something he picked out and bought for you.

“Want to get breakfast?”

You try to ignore the fact that you’re playing a dangerous game by blurring the lines you’ve drawn when you say yes.

“Should we breakup before I go to Milan or after I come back from Paris?”

Your question is so casual that Jeonghan almost thinks he didn’t hear you right. He looks up from his phone to see you pulling out a suitcase from your closet. It’s almost painful that you don’t seem to realize how much your words have affected him.

“Breakup?” He repeats, throat going dry and heart sinking.

The way you nod normally like he doesn’t feel sick to his stomach has him reeling. “Yeah. Our parents are mad enough now, and the semester is almost over so I’ll start taking online classes again.”

Your reasoning makes sense (maybe a little too much), but Jeonghan really can’t accept what you’re saying. All that registers is the fact that you’re leaving and planning on having nothing to do with him anymore.

“You’re not coming back?”

You wonder if he actually sounds disappointed or if it’s just you wishing that he does. Either way, you can’t let him know that you feel like your heart is being ripped out because you’re asking to plan your breakup. “My agency only agreed to let me take classes in person for a semester. After the scandal I had with you, they don’t want me coming back again.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

You try to pretend like his words don’t evoke an emotion out of you that you should definitely not feel for him.

“And I don’t want to breakup.”

The silence is heavy. It isn’t easy to not interpret his words as a plea to stay because he has feelings for you. Especially since you’re sure that’s not what he means. “If it’s about your dad we can—”

“This has nothing to do with my dad.” Jeonghan says, frustrated that you’re not understanding how he's feeling. “This is about you and me—about us.”

It’s strange to think that there is an us when it comes to you and Jeonghan now, but he can’t let you fly across the world without letting you know how he feels.

“You have to know that this isn’t fake to me.” He says, more nervous and determined than ever.

You can’t say anything. Not because you think it’s some joke or that he’s not being sincere, but because you can’t believe these feelings that had been flourishing since you two decided to let go of the past are being reciprocated.

“I know you probably still hate me, and I don’t blame you if you do. Back then, I ruined your life because I was insecure and wanted to make my dad proud. And now because of me, you won’t be able to come back to school even though going to this university has been your dream since we were kids.” Jeonghan soldiers on even though every single emotion is trying to peak through. “I’m an idiot to realize it so late, and I’m a bigger one to be apologizing to you only now.”

Jeonghan walks toward you until he’s directly in front of you. Just as you hope he seals his apology with a kiss, he falls to his knees, bunny-like eyes looking at you imploringly.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m going to ask for your forgiveness anyway. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to you since you came back into my life.” He’s close to tears as he grabs your hands. “I’ll do anything for your forgiveness. Just tell me what I need to do, and I’ll do it.”

Your heart is thumping so erratically that it feels like it’s on the verge of exploding. Yoon Jeonghan is on his knees in front of you, eyes wet and pleading for you to forgive him. The onslaught of emotions you feel are scrambling your brain to the point where you can hardly think. “Hannie...”

The nickname makes him hopeful that maybe he can earn your forgiveness. He grips your hands a little tighter and gently uses his thumbs to caress the back of your hands.

“I don’t hate you, and I already forgave a long time ago.” You confess with a smile, heart still pounding.

Jeonghan stands and crushes you with a hug, body sagging in relief to know that you don’t hate him. He closes his eyes as he buries his face into your neck. The anxiety he was feeling fades away as he basks in your embrace.

“I’m sorry too.” Your apology is slightly muffled. “I was wrong to make your life a living hell, and I hope you can also forgive me.”

Jeonghan hugs you tighter. “I already have. It’s not like I didn't deserve it.”

You two laugh a bit until you pull back to look at your (fake?) boyfriend. “You really don’t want to be away from me?”

Jeonghan pouts and nods. He briefly thinks he might have to hang a sign around his neck for you to realize he never wants you to leave his side.

“Why?”

You need to hear him say it. This way, you’ll know for sure that you’re not just lucid dreaming.

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Jeonghan never thought he could miss someone as much as he missed you. He’s surprised that it can feel like you’ve been away from him for years when in reality it’s only been a week. Not that it matters because he finally has you in his arms again. And he plans on showering you with love before you have to leave for Paris.

“I missed you so much.”

You feel breathless when Jeonghan’s lips mold against yours, not giving you a chance to say that you missed him too. He’s nestled between your legs as his lips devour yours, not caring that he’s been in the same position for the last fifteen minutes. Jeonghan can’t get enough of you, and he’s only gotten a small taste.

The whine you let out when Jeonghan’s tongue starts to play with yours is so hot that he can feel his cock twitch in his pants. One of his hands trails down your body to grab a handful of your ass before smoothing over your thigh to hook your leg over his hip. You moan into his mouth as your core grinds into his hardening dick.

Finally, you pull away from him, pupils blown wide with lust. “Missed you so much, Hannie.”

Your boyfriend gently grinds down in order to hear another one of your sensual moans. His dark eyes are staring at you with so much desire that your cunt starts to pulse at the thought of having him carnally.

“Let me show you how much I missed you.”

Jeonghan is patient as he undresses you. It’s a contrast to the way he quickly strips his own clothes. You know it’s because your dress is a custom gift from Wen Junhui, and it makes your heart warm and cunt drip with more slick at the thought that he actually remembered.

When he settles his head between your legs and spreads you open, you feel a bashful heat course through your body. Jeonghan is staring straight at your core with the most heated gaze you’ve ever received from a man. “Fuck. I knew you were pretty everywhere.”

Jeonghan’s gives your pussy a harsh slap, earning a surprised moan from you. He soothes the sting by gently rubbing his fingers against your clit, loving how wet your pussy keeps getting. Any coherent response you’re thinking of is quick to disappear when Jeonghan dives into your awaiting cunt. His tongue laps and slobbers all over your drooling lips, messily making out with the heaven between your legs.

The way Jeonghan is groaning into your pussy in absolute pleasure makes you grind you cunt into his mouth, moaning and crying out in just as much pleasure. His fingers flex into the flesh of your soft thighs as they lock around his head. Jeonghan greedily licks every inch of your sopping cunt, chin and cheeks increasingly becoming covered in your sweet juices as they drip down to the sheets below him.

“Fuck, Hannie!” You cry out with a jolt, hips rolling incessantly into his mouth. “Keep doing that! Feels so good.”

“Yeah? Like it how I fuck you with my tongue, darling?” He rasps burying his face deeper into your hot cunt.

You’re slowly slipping into a euphoric state that won’t allow you to think straight, and you’re only able to stay coherent because he pulls away momentarily to slide his fingers between your folds. He lewdly spreads you open before diving back in, slurping up every last bit of your juices. The taste of you had his cock twitching and throbbing between his thighs.

Jeonghan groans when your fingers slide into his hair as your pussy keeps getting tighter around his tongue. The room in the air feels hot as he continues to lap at your cunt, and you can only pant and moan as you feel a familiar feeling pooling in your stomach.

The entire lower half of his face feels sticky, but Jeonghan needs more. Wants it to be messier. His hands slip under to grab your ass and push you deeper on his tongue. Lewd squelches mix in with your cries of pleasure as he fucks you with his tongue. You feel your eyes roll back and your back arch when he gently starts to circle your puffy clit. Jeonghan then wraps his lips around it before sucking it into his mouth.

“Fuck.” You moan out. “Jeonghan! Gonna come!”

His tongue rolls the sensitive bud as you jerk in his hold. Jeonghan’s groans are only turning you on even more because you can tell he’s enjoying this as much as you are. The arousal he feels has his cock aching for any sort of friction, but he’s just so lost in you that he can’t really care that his erection is starting to hurt. Honestly, he feels like he could eat you out forever.

“So fucking good.” You babble as your clit knocks against his nose with every buck of your hips.

You jolt when you feel Jeonghan suck your clit between his teeth, nibbling on the sensitive bud until your orgasm finally washes over you. Instead of pulling away, he pulls you closer and laps up your cream, slurping up everything you have to offer him. Precum gathers at the tip of his aching cock that he can feel it staining his underwear, but he’s too focused on you creaming on his tongue to care.

Your body goes slack after you ride out your orgasm. Jeonghan pulls a way from your cunt with a satisfied smirk. He wastes no time in getting rid of his underwear, leaking cock springing up with a wet slap against his lower abdomen after he takes it off. You lick your you lips and pull him closer to you as you’re eager to feel his skin on yours again.

“Like what you see, darling?” Jeonghan coos with a cocky smirk.

He’s stroking his thick cock slowly as he watches your eyes fix on the girth between his legs, raking them over him slowly with unmistakeable hunger. His cock is as pretty as he is; long and thick with the bulbous head oozing plenty of precum. The veins running alongside it have your cunt aching in need to feel them drag along your walls. Jeonghan undoubtedly has one of the biggest cocks you’ve ever seen, and you whine out in need as you cling to his neck. Your hips buck up on their own, desperate to feel even the slightest bit of friction.

“Don’t tease me.” You pout, eyes blinking up at him pleadingly.

That face you’re making is dangerous, Jeonghan thinks. It’s capable of getting you whatever you want. He has to close his eyes and exhale deeply when you snake a hand between your bodies and grip his cock, squeezing gently to goad him into fucking you. It’s hot and heavy in your hand and wet with his precum. Your hand drags over him in slow strokes.

“I want you so bad.” You whine into his ear. “Please.”

“You—“ He breathes with a stutter, hips slowly rolling into your hand. “Y-You have to answer me first, baby.”

You roll your thumb over his weeping tip, collecting the wet bead of his precum before smearing it along his cock. His whimpers and moans are so pretty, and you just revel in the sounds that you’re emmiting from him.

“Tell me. Tell me how much you want my cock.”

“Want your cock, Hannie. It’s so pretty—need it inside me.” You mewl as you squeeze the base of his dick.

Jeonghan lets out a chuckle that’s breathy against your ear. It sounds smug despite the blush spreading on his face. “Think it’s pretty, huh? The prettiest cock you’ve ever seen?”

“Mhm.” You moan as he slides his tip up and down your entrance, collecting your juices along his cock before he slaps your cunt with his dick.

Finally, he relents and slowly pushes past your wet folds. You both let out loud moans at the feeling of each other. Jeonghan feels like he’s in heaven with how your hot, tight cunt is gripping his cock while you feel a burning pleasure licking up your entire body as his big cock splits you open.

“Fuh-Fuck, darling. Tight little pussy’s gonna drive me crazy.” He groans before leaning forward to press a sloppy kiss to your lips, tongue exploring your mouth as he drinks in your moans.

You whimper and whine into his mouth, eyelids fluttering in pleasure as he slowly starts to fuck his cock into you. Jeonghan pulls away with a deep groan. His eyes roll to the back of his head as your tight cunt squeezes his dick. Your arms a wrap around his neck as your legs do the same around his waist. Jeonghan’s cock throbs, nearly coming at the sight of your mouth hanging open in pleasure.

“Such a pretty little cunt. And it’s all for me.”

“Only for you, babe.” You say through a moan, bucking your hips up to meet his slow thrusts.

Your actions make his cock hit deep inside you, the leaking tip brushing against your sweet spot. A wanton moan escapes you at the feeling. You arch your back in absolute pleasure, not believing that he’s able to reach that deep inside you. Jeonghan smirks at your reaction, loving how you’re already so lost on his cock. His hips keep rolling against yours, forcing his thick cock in and out of your tight pussy.

Jeonghan is splitting you open as he fucks his cock into you. Your head is swimming from the pleasure as he picks up his pace. His moans only add to your pleasure. You can feel his pelvis brushing your pulsing clit with every harsh snap of his hips. The carnal sound of his cock slipping in and out of your cunt paired with the slapping of skin is making your velvety walls clamp down on him tighter.

“Fuck, Hannie. Harder! Fuck me harder!” You beg, bucking your hips to match his thrusts.

You’re both panting harshly as you feel the delicious pleasure build steadily. It spreads from your legs and along your spine until it consumes you completely. Jeonghan is quickly becoming obsessed with the sight of you under him, pretty tits bouncing every time he sharply snaps his hips. He spreads your legs to see the erotic sight of your juices frothing at the base of his dick and sliding down his heavy sack.

“Cockhungry angel wants more?” Jeonghan coos, driving his hips deeper so his cock is slamming against your sweet spot, sending your vision white. “You can have more, love. Because this is your cock. All yours.”

His words make you become impossibly tight. Your velvety walls make him choke out a loud moan. It’s almost hard for him to move with how tight your pussy keeps getting. The sight of your cream coating his cock as it disappears into your hot cunt only makes his snap his hips harder, eager to feel you come undone on his dick.

“Mine.” Your babble sounds so possessive yet fucked out that Jeonghan can’t help but moan along with you.

“Yours.” He confirms through his deep groans. “Cock fits inside your little pussy like it was made for you.”

“Hannie!” You cry out, feeling drunk on how his veiny cock drags against your walls. “If you k-keep saying things like that—!”

He smirks, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek—an action too tender for how he’s ravishing you. “What, baby? You’re gonna gush all over me? Cover this cock with your sweet cream?”

His thumb trails down to your aching clit and starts to rub fast circles along the sensitive bud. Jeonghan does this until you break. Your thighs tremble as your gummy walls flutter around his cock. If only you could see the literal heart eyes your boyfriend is staring at you with as your pretty face contorts in pleasure as you fall apart on his cock. He’s never seen a more perfect sight, and he’s sure to commit it to memory as your orgasm spurts all over his cock, marking him with your essence in the most obscene way.

The slam of his cock as he fucks you through your orgasm bordering on too much as you whimper in his arms. Those cute little mewls turn into cries when he keeps going, so drunk in you that he can’t stop. The sound of your moans and the way you suck him in as you cream around his cock makes Jeonghan’s head fall into your neck. His thrusts are turning sloppy as he whimpers gently against your skin.

“I love you.” He pants into your skin, choking on moans as he pumps his cum into your cunt. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Hannie.” You mewl, loving the feeling of his cum filling you up.

You feel the mixture of his release and your slick trailing down the sides of your thighs. It’s so messy that you can’t help but crave more. Jeonghan’s breathing is heavy as he places gentle kisses on your neck. Neither of you can ignore the pulsing of his fat cock still inside you. He fucks his cum into you a bit more before slowly pulling out, enjoying the sight of his thick cum leaking down to your asshole. Your pretty pussy is pulsing as more thick cum squeezes out.

Jeonghan’s massaging a palm on the inside of your sticky thigh to keep your legs spread for his eyes when you say the words that make his cock twitch and ache all over again.

“Keep stuffing me full of cum, baby.”

It’s so easy to slide his cock back into your creamy pussy. You clench tightly as he draws back, then forward again. His thick dick stretches you open so deliciously that you can’t hold back your cries of pleasure. He’s balls deep inside your hot cunt, his pelvis brushing against your aching nub. Your vision goes blurry as he hits so deep. Jeonghan hooks one of your knees over his shoulder so he can slide in deeper.

“I’m going to fill you up. Gonna come in this pretty pussy and fuck you until you can’t take anymore.” Jeonghan groans as you mewl and whimper underneath him.

He takes one of your nipples in his mouth, tugging the nub with his teeth, groping your other tit. You’re already so damn sensitive and arch into his touch. “Ah, Hannie!”

“Mmh.” He groans, releasing the hardened bud with a lewd pop as you clench around him.

Jeonghan starts fucking you slowly, letting you feel every vein along your pulsating walls. From tip to base, he feeds your tight hole like it’s starving. You whimper at the feeling, moans slipping out of you when he picks up speed. The tip of his dick rams into your cervix and makes you see stars. You’re so hot and messy already, your slick and his cum creating a ring around the fat base of his cock.

Dark eyes flicker between your sloppy hole and your fucked out face. Jeonghan can’t decide which is more obscene, but he loves both sights so much. His big cock spreads you wide, a euphoric burn blooming in your little pussy as your juices spill out. The cry you let out makes him kiss you. It’s soft in contrast to his length spearing you open. His tongue slips into your mouth, massaging yours as he swallows your moans.

Jeonghan traces tracing over your stretched hole to your fluttering clit, rubbing in hard circles as you keep crying out for him. He keeps pounding into you, your body moving up the bed with the sheer force.

“So fucking good!” Your mouth falls open in a moan as he rams into your sweet spot, that familiar electricity streaming through your body.

You can feel his pelvic bone pressing against your clit as his dick spears deeper. You’re squirming against your boyfriend, full and cockdrunk as he keeps rubbing his fingers on your clit. The toe-curling orgasm strikes so abruptly that you don’t expect it. Your juices squirt out all over Jeonghan’s length and his pelvis.

His thickness continues to invade your convulsing walls, almost brutally but you take it, gasping as your mind goes foggy.

“Fuck, darling. Keep soaking my cock like that.”

Your tits bounce as he fucks you harder, ramming into your sweet spot. You can’t process anything over the squelching noises and the sounds of your moans. Jeonghan groans, cursing lowly as you squeeze around him, begging for his cum. He grinds sinfully into your spasming cunt until he releases his hot cum into your pussy, filling you to the brim.

In utter pleasure, Jeonghan rocks into you with abandon, spurred on by your cries and your nails digging into his shoulders as his pelvis rubs your humming clit. His warmth spreads within you, leaking out from around his throbbing girth as his hips slow to a stop. You soften to quiet whimpers when he lets go of your leg, nuzzling into his neck in a daze.

Neither of you move, too lost in the feeling of each other’s arms to care about anything else.

taglist: @duolingofanaccount @felix-3002 @junhui-recs @asjkdk @dani41 @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @ohwonwoo

#svthub #jeonghan smut #svt smut #yoon jeonghan smut #jeonghan x reader #svt x reader #jeonghan x you #svt x you #jeonghan imagines #svt imagines #yoon jeonghan x reader

[helen-with-an-a]

I am an Adult pt 3

Hi. So I wasn't planning to do a part 3 of the series but I got a request and it was really cute/funny so I thought why not ahaha.

Barca Femeni x Reader ; Lena Oberdorf x Reader

Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 3.5 : Part 4

Word Count: 3.3k

Description: R gets a girlfriend

It took a lot of work to find the right balance. The give and take, knowing where to push and where to pull. That fine line between knowing when to go to the team for help and doing it yourself.

After the events of last Spring, you had been better at relying on the girls for essential things, and they had been better at asking you about them without nagging. You sent a picture of critical legal dates to Alexia, who would set a reminder to ask you about them a week or so before the actual deadline. Lucy helped you figure out meals if you asked for them. Irene helped you stock and restock your pantry and cupboards throughout your house when you were stuck on what to keep multiple or spares of. Marta helped out with your schedule if you felt a little overwhelmed. They felt like they were checking up on you and helping you without you feeling smothered. It was fantastic.

And then you got a girlfriend.

Initially, Your crush was slight, something you could repress and squash down. But then you played her in the Champions League group stages. Wolfsburg and Barcelona were drawn in the same group by some bizarre coincidence or the universe interfering in your love life.

Lena was so sweet and kind; it was crazy. You first interacted when you had to do some media together. UEFA media decided to do ‘head-to-head’ videos where some players from each team had to do videos, interviews, and challenges together. And with another stroke of luck – or divine intervention once again – you and Lena were paired together. You were caught off guard by how gentle she was. On the pitch, she was a force to be reckoned with solid tackles and her fearlessness of a yellow card. That was the only impression you had of her. Of course, you had stalked her social media for months, so you knew she seemed like a fantastic friend. But off the pitch, it was like a switch had flipped. She was so soft, it was unreal – always asking if you were ok with the questions she was asking and checking in with you after challenges. It was making your head spin in the most fantastic way.

“What do I do?” You asked Ona over coffee. She was the one person you trusted with this secret.

“Well, well, well. Where has the confident, cocky, ‘I’m so good with girls’ Y/N gone?” She joked. You had never experienced these feelings before, and you were panicking slightly.

“Ugh, never mind. If you’re just going to make fun of me-” you shook your head, starting to gather your things.

“No, wait, hey, c’mon. Do you seriously like her?” Ona grabbed your wrist, stopping you from leaving.

“I … I don’t know. I think so, but I don’t do relationships. I never have. It’s just been one-night stands and friends-with-benefit type things. Casual sex. Never anything more. I don’t do more.”

“Well, neither do I,” Ona cut in. You raised an eyebrow at her.

“Want me to tell that to Lucy?” You said sarcastically, chuckling at her deep blush. “Ona, c’mon, I’m serious. I really like her,” you all but begged.

“Ok, ok. No hay necesidad de preocuparse. If you really like her, just ask her out for coffee, or dinner, or to the movies, or something. Just be your normal self. You know you have game. I’ve seen the number of girls you’ve brought back after nights out. So just be your charming self, flirt a little, and ask her on a date.” You nodded at her words. Flirting, you could do. Charming, you could do. Asking her out on a date … you hoped you could do.

You asked her out after the first leg. It was in Barcelona, so you messaged her to see if she wanted to see the sights. You knew she wasn’t going home until 2 days after the match, so on her off-day. You knew it was slightly unconventional to ask someone out via text, but you think you might never do it if you asked in person.

[Initial]💙❤️: Do u want to go to see some stuff in Barcelona with me on ur day off?? x

L💚: By rselves? Like a date???

[Initial]💙❤️: Yes x

[Initial]💙❤️: Would u like to go on a date with me on ur day off??

L💚: Yes

L💚: I’ll send you the hotel details. I could meet u at like 10? 11?

[Initial]💙❤️:  I’ll pick u up at 10 outside the hotel – wear comfy shoes!!! <3

L💚: Can’t wait 😁

The day was beautiful; you took her to a little bakery for breakfast – laughing a few hours away over good coffee and excellent food. You then spent the morning doing the touristy things before having lunch at a tapas place, again not noticing the time passing as you giggled and sent longing stares at each other. The afternoon was filled with more happiness as you showed her the quieter spots and your favourite places to relax. Dinner was a classic paella, finally drawing up the courage to hold her hand on your way back to drop her off.

You were just around the corner from her hotel when you pulled her to stop.

“Um … I had a perfect day today.” You said as you shuffled closer,

“Me too,” she replied, softly pushing some hair away from your face. You licked your lips, staring at hers. She slowly leant in, her eyes flicking between your lips and eyes. You leant in, too; you were so close to kissing her – one slight adjustment at you would be.

A car horn sounded right next to you, making you both spring apart. Fuck!

“I … um … I better get going,” Lena said, gesturing towards the hotel. You could tell she was a little disappointed

“Yeh, no, I get it. Just … text me, yeh? Maybe you could show me around Wolfsburg when we travel to you guys?” you said nervously, not meeting her warm brown eyes.

“Hey,” she called softly, using her free hand to grasp your chin and make you look into her eyes. “I will absolutely be showing you around my home. We will definitely be doing this again,” she said with certainty. You felt your heart jump at the idea of a second date with Lena. She squeezed your hand before she left, looking back with a soft smile as she went.

[Initial]💙❤️: SPOTIFY LINK – One Direction, ‘I Should Have Kissed You’:  https://www.spotify......

L💚: SPOTIFY LINK – Odeal, ‘Next Time’: https://www.spotify.......

After the second leg, Lena took you to a Christmas Market, saying that even though it was only November, you had to experience one. It was lovely. You laughed, ate too much food, and drank too much hot chocolate and mulled wine. As she took you back to your hotel, you came to a stop, much like you had in Barcelona.

“Can I actually kiss you this time?” You asked her.

“Bitte Küsse mich.” You didn’t speak German, but she clarified her intentions as she put a hand on your hip, shuffling closer until your breaths mingled. Her lips were soft and rough and warm and cold all at once. It was perfect. The world stopped spinning momentarily as you slowly let your tongue explore.

“Mein Gott” she said as you parted.

“Guess I’m going to need German lessons.” You laughed, pressing your lips back on hers.

“Don’t worry, I know a willing teacher,” she said as you separated again.

Your relationship was semi-secret; text exchanges left you giddy, hushed phone calls left you too-smiley, and facetimes were taken as you hurried from the rooms. Everyone could tell something was different, and most people could guess that it was probably down to a person; they just couldn’t figure out who.

“Alright, out with it. Who’s got you so smiley?” Patri asked as she sat on your sofa. You were having a younger girls' night—like you do most evenings. Patri, Pina, Esmee, Ona, Jana, Martina, Vicky, Bruna, Cata … it was a bit of a squeeze in your one-bedroom flat, but you made it work.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said as you smiled into your glass.

“Oh, please. You’ve been smiling away, laughing, and being disgustingly cute. Who is it?” Jana swatted your thigh at your non-answer.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” you stuck your tongue out at her.

“Don’t make us do detective work!” Martina threatened, pulling up her phone and going onto your social media.

“It’s recent, so check who she’s recently started following,” Vicky suggested. You were so grateful that you had been following Lena for years since you had played against her at club and national levels.

“It happened after the group stages,” Ona chimed in. You threw her an offended glare. You knew she wouldn’t actively spill your secret, but you had hoped she wouldn’t join in on the hunt for the identity of your girlfriend.

“You know something, Ona!” Pina accused, a finger coming to point at her. “You know who it is, don’t you?” They soon switched from interrogating you to Ona. Logically, it was the smartest move; Ona could crack very easily. It’s how you found out about Lucy – you had just narrowed your eyes at her for slightly too long, and she broke, spilling everything to you when she stayed the night a few months ago. You watched, somewhat amused, as Ona squirmed, avoiding eye contact, ducking her head, biting her lip. She was close to spilling everything. You knew she was terrified of telling secrets that weren’t hers, but she couldn’t help it.

“Alright, guys. Enough. Stop interrogating her.” You broke up the onslaught of questions, moving from your sofa seat to the chair she was curling up in. You could tell she was close to tears, and you didn’t want to do that to her – you knew she already felt guilty enough. You shuffled her around a bit before pulling her onto your lap.

“Right, you get 5 hints. If you can’t guess it from them, then I can’t help you. And no more asking Ona!” You glared at them all, ensuring they understood how serious you were. “Right, she’s German. She plays in Germany. She’s a midfielder. We’re similar ages. She’s made her senior international debut in 2019.” You watched as the group dissolved into loud discussion.

“Lo siento mucho. No querías que nadie lo supiera y ahora...” Ona hurried out, close to tears again.

“Hey, no, no, no. It’s ok, Oni,” you reassured her as you kissed her forehead. “No es tu culpa. I promise you. I do not blame you.” She nodded and buried her head back against your collarbone, watching the carnage in front of you. You quietly laughed to each other at the scene – Wikipedia was pulled up on everyone’s phones, the German national team website as well as they speculated on who you were seeing. You slowly pulled your phone out, quickly texting Lena.

[Initial]💙❤️: Like ½ my team are tryna guess my girlfriend rn x

[Initial]💙❤️: Do u mind if I say yes if they guess it right? x

L💚: ahahahahaha

L💚: No, I don’t mind. R u gonna tell them who I am if they get it wrong tho?

[Initial]💙❤️: Whichever u want x

[Initial]💙❤️: I don’t mind telling them x

[Initial]💙❤️: Would make it easier when I disappear to Germany for a few days and u suddenly turn up in my Barca jersey

[Initial]💙❤️: I want to tell them about u x

L💚: Tell em

L💚: Can I tell my team?

[Initial]💙❤️: Omg yesssss xxxxxxxxxxxx

L💚: also – I will never wear a barca jersey!!

L💚: Even if it does have ur name on the back 🤢

[Initial]💙❤️: ugh RUDE.

[Initial]💙❤️: But ud still be my WAG tho right? x

L💚: I’ll always be ur wag hehe

[Initial]💙❤️: so kind of u x

[Initial]💙❤️: I’ll always be ur wag too btw x

“Alright, alright. We have 2 possible answers.” Bruna turned around with a notebook in her hand. Where did they get that from? “Our first guess, we think, is less likely. Klara Bühl. She’s German, plays for Bayern, is a midfielder, and debuted in 2019. You’re similar in age. But we haven’t played Bayern in a while. So, how would you have met? So, we don’t think it’s her.” She paused, staring at your carefully crafted neutral expression. You met Klara once; she was lovely. She handed the notebook over to Cata. “Our final guess is one we think is pretty true,” Cata explained, adjusting herself to sit cross-legged before you. “We played Wolfsburg at the Champions League group stages, and you disappeared for the whole day the day after and came back all smiley. So, we have reason to believe it’s a Wolfsburg player.” You didn’t realise how seriously they were taking this. “But … most of the Wolfsburg team are German, but not all of them are German midfielders that debuted for the national team in 2019.” She paused dramatically. You knew she had figured it out. “That’s why our final guess is …” another final pause.

“Oberdorf,” Patri shouted out, clearly over Cata’s dramatics. “You’re dating Oberdorf.”

“Oi. Aquesta havia de ser la meva revelació” Cata lunged at Patri, loud shouts of Catalan descending on the house.

“D'acord, d'acord,” you shouted over the noise as you saw a wine bottle wobble precariously as someone knocked into the table. “Sí, Lena is my girlfriend.” You admitted. If you thought the noise was loud before, you were deafened by the cacophony that descended on you. You buried your head in Ona’s hair, laughing as your friends melted into chaos.

You knew that once the younger ones found out who your girlfriend was, it was only a matter of time before the older ones did. You hadn’t expected it to be the next day, however. You were in the changing rooms, chatting to Patri and Pina as you prepared for the session ahead of you. The door banged open, and you were met with an outraged Lucy. As she stalked towards you, you glanced at a very guilty-looking Ona.

“She looked at me.” Ona defended herself.

“Grow a backbone, Oni.” You shouted as Lucy dragged you from the room, remembering to add a nickname in so she knew you weren’t that mad at her.

You were dragged to an empty conference room. Alexia, Paños, Marta, Mariona, Caro, and Irene were already sitting on one side of the table. Lucy pushed you into the single seat opposite them and took her place next to Irene. You sat in silence for a full 3 minutes before anyone spoke.

“Is there something you want to tell us, cariño?” Alexia asked smoothly, folding her hands in front of her like she was conducting a business meeting.

“Ona needs to learn how to toughen up.” You weren’t too angry with Ona, but it slightly annoyed you that she had cracked so easily. You wanted to tell the older girls yourself to avoid this situation.

“Leave her out of it.” Lucy jumped in. You clicked your teeth at her, flicking your hand in her direction, dismissing her protest.

“You have a girlfriend,” Irene stated, bringing the conversation back on track.

“Ja, das tue ich,” you said, chuckling at their reaction to your German. They didn’t fully understand you but knew ‘yes’ in most languages. You could see Caro laughing slightly – she had played for Wolfsburg; she knew you were using your newfound language to irritate them.

“And you didn’t tell us?” Marta asked

“Ja, das ist richtig,” you smiled.

“Cut the crap, pequeña.” Paños hit the table, making you jump slightly.

“Bien. Si tanto quieres saber,” you snapped. “Yes, I have a girlfriend. I’m sure you already know who, but it’s Lena. I asked her out after our home Wolfsburg game. She asked me out after her home leg. We’ve been dating for a couple of months now. I really like her. Anything else you want to know?” You asked Alexia directly. You could see the internal battle – the desire to know everything about your new relationship with her promise to treat you more grown up.

“Everyone, out,” Alexia instructed after a minute, using her captain’s voice to show she was serious. “Cariño, please stay?” She asked. You nodded as the others left. Caro seemed to find this whole thing funny, but everyone else was grumbling and muttering about how they found it rude that you didn’t tell them and that you were too young for a girlfriend. “I thought we promised to tell each other things like adults?” She asked you.

“I know. The others only found out yesterday if it makes you feel any better. Ona’s known for a while, but only because I asked her for help.” You sat back in your chair, careful to leave your posture open.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” She seemed a little upset by your actions.

“I didn’t want this to happen. We’ve finally found a balance. And I knew that this would disrupt that balance. And it’s so new; I didn’t want to tell you guys until I knew what we were, and it’s only really been a few months. She asked me to be her girlfriend at New Year’s, so …” you trailed off, hoping that she understood where you were coming from.”

“Entenc. But cariño, why didn’t you tell me?” She asked again.

“I … I don’t know.” You did know. You knew exactly why you didn’t tell her. And she knew it, too. “Ok … well … I didn’t … I didn’t want you to treat me like a child again. Relationships are new to me. I can do the … physical …” you both cringed slightly, not entirely comfortable with those topics just yet, “side of relationships fine. But emotions. They’re new to me. And I wanted to figure it out for myself first. I went to Ona ‘cos she’s my best friend. One that needs to learn how to resist interrogation better, but she’s still my best friend.”

“Don't be too hard on her, pequeña. She meant well. And I get why you didn’t come to me first. But can I ask a few questions?” She watched as you left your seat, coming around to her side of the table, and sitting on her lap.

You sighed, “ask away.” She laughed as she squeezed your waist.

“Does she treat you well?”

“Sí,” you answered honestly.

“Do you treat her well?”

“I think so. I hope so.” You smiled at her concern for Lena

“Can we meet her?”

“As long as you guys don’t give her the talk, then yes.” She leant back to look at your face.

“Can I give her the talk?” You sighed.

“Sí,” you relented, not missing the flicker of excitement that passed over her face.

“When is she coming to Barcelona?”

“Our way game Èl Clasíco matches with a free weekend for her. She’s meeting me in Madrid.” You laughed as she pushed you off her lap, standing up and rushing to the door. “Where are you going?”

“To prepare my speech. Alba never let me do a charla de hermana mayor to her partners, so this might be my only chance.” You laughed at her enthusiasm. She indeed was like your big sister – annoying most of the time, infuriating some of the time, but just a big, goofy kid at heart looking out for everyone around her.

[Initial]💙❤️: U might wanna prepare urself now x

L💚: WHY???

L💚: WHAT DID U DO????

[Initial]💙❤️: Alexia knows

[Initial]💙❤️: She’s very excited to meet my girlfriend x

[Initial]💙❤️: She’s planning a speech x

L💚: I am dead

L💚: I am going to die

L💚: Will u still love me if I’m dead????

[Initial]💙❤️: She wont kill u

[Initial]💙❤️: I wont let her xxx

[Initial]💙❤️: Yes, I will still love u if ur dead xx

I hope you liked it <3<3<3

#barca femeni #woso community #woso #barca femeni x reader #fc barcelona #woso blurbs #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #barca femini x reader #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #ona batlle x reader #ona batlle #lena oberdorf x reader #lena oberdorf

[princessjojo-x]

Moon Synastry

knowing which house of theirs your moon falls in, is the key to understanding how they perceive your emotional world & what area of life you give them comfort/nurture.

3rd House 💝

you’re constantly thinking & reminiscing abt them. you view them as a v emotionally mature person. you feel a need to constantly check up on them & talk to them. this rxship is smooth, peaceful & productive; together, you can accomplish a lot at work. you don't irritate your partner & you communicate well w them. you can be captivated by how their brain works, they’re principles can provoke your mental reactions (positively or negatively) & they can play a role in sowing the seeds of a new idea in your head. (virgo moon or aquarius asc)

4th House 💝

they perceive you as emotional, sweet & loyal causing them to have soft spot for you. but this may manifest as them feeling like a "parent" to you & them feeling the need to assert their authority in the rxship. when you interact w them, you may arouse something so deep within them that they may require some time away to relax. this is not easy synastry for love. they may have mixed feelings for you bc they do have a strong bond w you but also feel competitive w you. the rxship has depth & intensity that is uncomfortable for both. the high level of tension & energy between you makes it difficult to be w them for an extended period of time. you love being in their company but for a short period of time, eg travelling 6 hrs just to spend 1 hr w them. this rxship indicates you were v close to them in a previous life. (libra moon or capricorn asc)

5th House 💝

you completely let down your emotional guard & seek ways to be with them simply bc their presence cheers you up & surrounds you w a sense of pleasure. it’s likely both partners share the same sense of humour & the same hobbies. you perceive their emotional side as warm, unique & spontaneous. you admire how authentic, protective, confident, charming & expressive they can be. you put them on a pedestal, they respond w warmth & love. they become flattered by your appreciation & gain a sense of pride from your attention. from the very beginning, you view them as someone you’d love to start a family w. they enjoy both the emotional & lighter aspects of the rxship. both partners benefit from this overlap. (scorpio moon or sagittarius asc)

6th House 💝

you get the impression they find it difficult to open up emotionally. when they do express their emotions, it feels healing for you. even though they don’t seem to be v expressive verbally, their actions speak volumes ab how much they adore you. they have a special quality of making you feel better on a bad day; they make you feel like there is no problems & everything has a solution. this is why you view them as a reliable companion. you feel obligated to them but they feel you place a burden or responsibility on them. you may expect them to do favours & services, or you might be the one to play the servant instead. one of you is constantly trying to assist/support the other & wondering why you are carrying such a heavy load. you will be drawn to the sacrifice illogically & then resent your partner. they’re aware of all of your sacrifices but powerless to intervene. (sagittarius moon or scorpio asc)

7th House 💝

conjunctions between the luminaries & the ascendant/descendant axis signals a deeply bonded rxship & a soulmate connection. the descendant is parts of ourselves that we struggle to love but are attracted to in others. moon provides the potential of curing any self-rejection in house. there are sides of house they tend to repress or hide but moon makes them feel more comfortable to accept those sides. house is under the impression moon won’t judge them & will accept them as a father would his children. this makes house feel safe in moons presence. moons power to harm or heal house is powerful. moon often feels they have a purpose in this rxship & a certain level of responsibility however this all maybe subconscious.

this rxship provides emotional security, long term commitment, magnetic connection, strong attraction & a deep sense of understanding.

from the beginning, house is delighted by moons personality & house views moon as an ideal partner. house is extremely attracted to moons emotional side & how moon expresses everything they feel. the rxship becomes a rollercoaster of emotions that house has never experienced & moon feels an urge to be there for house emotionally. partners become fundamental company for each other & it feels only natural for both to be together. this creates an instinctual gravitational pull between both partners. the rxship provides a sense of security, making it extremely difficult to break (for better or worse). if this couple ever break up, the rxship will be quiet unforgettable bc even though this is not a thrilling or exciting rxship, it still leaves an impact on your life. (capricorn moon or libra asc)

8th House 💝

moon becomes fascinated & obsessed with house emotionally & sexually. moon feels the need to spend a lot of time with house to know how they are or see if they need something. moon wants house to show them sides house doesn’t show anyone. moon needs to know everything abt house & will even cross some boundaries to get this info. moon either doesn’t know or doesn’t care abt how weird this behaviour may seem. house is attracted to moon as well but feels like moon is constantly analyzing them & senses the power they have over moon.

on the other hand, if there is no physical attraction between these partners or many ”bad” aspects within their synastry, this connection can become extremely annoying for both of them. moon turns this obsession into a dislike, becoming houses biggest hater, obsessing with house, competing with house, gossiping abt house, etc. if these two become enemies there will be no boundaries when it comes to what they will do to take eachother down. house especially will be extremely annoyed by moon constantly watching them.

however, this can be be very one sided especially on moons part. moon can be scary obsessed with house & very controlling over how house expresses themselves.

whether they are lovers or enemies, there is no denying house provoke something so intense within moon & moon feels deep emotions when in the company of house. there is always a fear of vulnerability from both partners within this synastry. (aquarius moon or virgo asc)

9th House 💝

there is a lot of admiration, respect & love in this rxship. you find something ab them, admirable, inspiring or intriguing; you idealize them, have many noble perceptions ab them & put them on a pedestal. you perceive them as heroic & brilliant. you might feel like they’re so big that they end up out of your life or they’re too far away from you: this could manifest physically, long-distance rxship. you bring out the best in them & they feel that, which may cause them to become emotionally attached to you. they may feel like they can't do anything great w out you or they may become dependent on you as a source of inspiration & validation. you share similar views which attracts you to each other but not necessarily in a romantic sense. (pisces moon or leo asc)

10th House 💝

this aspect is good for business but not ideal for romance. you’re enchanted & blinded by all their qualities (mature, stable & hard-working) . you view them as big deal or role model who’s superior to the rest. you may treat them as a trophy wife by showing them off to others. you may feel obligated to adopt a parental attitude towards them & feel inspired to go the extra mile for them. you feel the need to provide them with stability & consistency. you’ll never tolerate someone speaking ill of them & you won’t hesitate to publicly defend them. you’ll want to support them with their ambitions & careers. you’ll gently push them towards a specific goal. however, the lack of emotional closeness makes you feel uneasy & emotionally ill. (aries moon or cancer asc)

11th House 💝

you are fascinated by everything related to them, consider them your “dream partner” & the answer to all your hopes/dreams. you adore how they go with the flow, how they always show their authentic self, how they’re not afraid to defend their ideals. you see in them a person very different from the rest. you instinctively feel at ease in the presence of them, they sense this & as a result, they are at ease in your presence too. you both feel comfortable being yourself in this rxship, you're not concerned with keeping up appearances & neither of you appears to be concerned with what the other will think. even if you disagree on some issues, you feel accepted by the other. both may have friends in common or have a genuine friendship with one another. (taurus moon or gemini asc)

12th House 💝

a dangerously painful aspect. this is a tense rxship full of paranoia rather than a peaceful rxship full of love. there is an emotional disconnect present that is confusing to navigate. you feel like you'll never truly grasp their true feelings for you & you’ll feel like they don't like you (even when they do). there’s always this tension when in each others company & partners can confuse it for sexual tension at times. it's so easy to just romanticize them & get stuck in a little bubble of delusion. there may also be a bit of jealousy & possessiveness from either side but partners either try to hide it or reject it, denying they even cared in the first place. they seem to know every secret of yours, whilst the you’re dying to know all of their secrets! you feel like you’re unable to learn anything abt their personal life. you have the impression they’re concealing something (even if they aren’t) & no one likes being accused of concealing something. there’s no logical reason for the lack of trust & accusations yet inner feelings cause both to be suspicious of one another. partners can feel insecure in each others presence, despite the mutual attraction. hints & mystery will lead both feeling like they have an “unexplainable” connection with each other. there’s an immediate sympathy for each other, a feeling of knowing them from another world & almost a telepathic connection. partners take out each others vulnerability & emotional side which they don’t usually express with others. they make each other feel very soft, more soft than they’d like. they feel like a safe place & a sanctuary for each other. you may be able to recognise their emotions without them needing to even say a word. you maybe very protective & charitable around each other. either house or moon can’t stop thinking abt the other & when they do stop thinking abt them, something happens to remind them of them again. they could see their name in places, songs, etc. they could tend to daydream abt them or even have dreams abt them. these dreams can be prophetic & reveal things abt them you wouldn't know unless they told you. synastry in this house always has its ups & downs, no matter the planet involved. (gemini moon or taurus asc)

#astro notes #astrology #moon synastry #astrology synastry #moon in houses

[frogchiro]

HELLO LOVELIES!! due to popular demand I present to you this, a kinda 2 part to this baby. I wanted to thank you for the overwhelming love that little brain rot got so I'm writing something extra ^^ While this may not be a direct continuation it's set in the exact same universe and everything so you can read is as a stand alone another part of perverted nasty Ghost (and a guest!) or a continuation of other nasty shenanigans that Si would do to his little hacker girl :(

fem!reader, nsfw, nasty perv Ghost and a special guest, can be read as kinda dark? nothing hardcore it's just implied that Simon is terribly possessive bordering on obsessed and he has dark-ish tendencies so be careful!

That being said, nasty perv Ghost who's almost buzzing with barely repressed anger, almost snarling, teeth baring beneath his mask. He's standing on the sidelines of the mattress laid out on the gym floor as he watches Price go at you almost like a wild animal, grabbing and tossing you around like you're a rag doll, ultimately pinning you down to the floor with his massive body with your hand behind your back and laid out on your tummy, all tired out and panting with Price leaning down to your ear and growling something to you that made you let out a pathetic keen.

Simon didn't hear what the captain said to you but judging by your facial expression it must have been something suggestive; nasty and perverted and delivered in that deep growly rumble of Price's voice.

The blonde man knew that this whole 'compulsory hand to hand combat training' was a load of bullshit, it always was. It was organized a few times a year when the higher ups insisted and there was no way out. It was usually terribly boring, just a load of loud and sweaty men tumbling like beasts while screaming at each other and a few hot-shots who showed of like peacocks.

Except that this time there was a new addition to this mess, little old you. The new hacker of 141, the young lady who always dressed nicely, nails always manicured and smelling oh so deliciously with your perfumes. Since you're technically not a soldier Ghost thought that you'd be spared from the training but apparently he was very wrong and he hated it. He could see how flustered you were earlier, how small and soft you were in the presence of all these big hardened soldiers. He could see that you were nervous and he didn't exactly blame you therefore he decided that he would be the perfect match for you for training; it would be a win win situation!

He'd treat you as gently as he could so you wouldn't have bruises and aches from a rough treatment, and him on the other hand would have jerk off material for the next month. He could almost taste it, taste you. How he'd press you against him, how his big scarred hands would be able to run over your soft body all he wanted under the guise of training. How his big sweaty body would rub against you, his musk rubbing off on you and making you smell like him, like Ghost; a primal way of marking you. How he'd listen to all you little whines and mewls when he'd grab you too roughly and how you'd be able to feel his hard cock press against your ass as he mounted you from behind to press you into the exact position as you were now. Except it wasn't him who had you caged in his grip, it was fucking Price.

That fucker snatched you right from under his nose. Literally. Simon was just about to go up to you when suddenly Price appeared seemingly out of thin air and swooped it to basically tell you that you're gonna be his sparing partner, not even asking, he was stating a fact and since he was your captain you couldn't really say no right? :(

As John was leading you away from a growling Simon he could swear that the older man turned slightly to him and gave him a smug look that said 'better luck next time son, she's mine' and what made his teeth grit even more that he could perfectly hear these words in John's smooth growly drawl.

He's very well aware that Price has the hots for you, that dirty old pervert. He caught him looking at you more than once now, his gray blue eyes following you like a predator watching his prey, how whenever you stopped by his office to deliver some new intel or paperwork Price's voice suddenly dropped a few octaves into a deep, hot and enticing drawl that made you stutter and goosebumps appear on your skin. Also Simon heard Price going at it in his office, jerking off or doing god knows what and growling your name, or the occasional pair of your (stolen) panties peeking out from a drawer, the delicate pink material stained white with John's seed. His naturally possessive character getting amped up whenever you're with them on a mission or even in the same vicinity, any soldier who has the balls to talk or even flirt with you getting swiftly removed and ordered to run 30 laps around training grounds.

And now Ghost lost to that old perverted fuck and he will have to endure his smug commentary about how nice your soft body felt under him, how your delicious ass pressed against his cock and how you whimpered in confusion as you felt your captain grind against you and growl into your ear to 'be a good girl and get a feel of your captain, feel what will be breeding you later' and you couldn't help but whine and wiggle around a bit, you were so hot and so embarrassed, pinned under your captain with all those men watching you with heavy eyes :((

You soon stopped your wiggling and just laid there under the heavy man, his panting and growls rumbling against your back as you got a bit intoxicated on his heavy musky scent, pure masculinity and dominance oozing out of him and rubbing off on you.

You started to wonder if he'd truly keep his promise up and take you with him later, lock you in his bedroom and ravish you, breed you good with his babies :(

#kin speaks #damn #i'm thinking on making a whole series with perverted 141 ;; #like 141 plus graves #los vaqueros #and konig #bc the brain rot is real and I love writing about musky nasty men ;; #pervy!141 #cod x reader #cod mw x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #john price x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #john price

[milky-aeons]

𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄

౨ৎ . . . now that you've tried it, you knew you would never get used to the taste of GOJO SATORU.

warnings: sexual content, exhibitionism, love-biting, marking, possessiveness, pet-names, praising, blindfolding, oral receiving, female reader, mdni, w.c 1.6k

♪ . . . ˗ˏˋ ꒰ CUFF IT (WETTER REMIX) — beyoncé ꒱ ˎˊ-

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who had an exceptionally high sex drive. It did not matter if you had just seen him ten minutes ago or had already collapsed together into bed after two rounds, hot and sweaty. One look at your naked body gleaming under the covers of his bedsheets, or the strong swish of your hips as you walked, or even the scent of your perfume would send blood rushing right down to his cock. And he'd never be subtle about it, typical man that he was. Satoru would press his need against the curve of your back from behind and hum into your neck, kissing skin he'd never get tired of tasting.

Your heart still hammering in your chest from the climax you just came down from, you felt Satoru's arms snake around to circle you from behind. His head buried into your neck, placing little kisses on all the spots he knew you were sensitive for. He pushed his hot, hard cock you had just had inside of you into the ridge of your ass, grinding softly, languidly. Your shock was so sudden it came out as a giggle. "'t-toru...! How are you," You chuckled, deep and intimate, craning to give him better access to your neck. "Did you not... come...?" The words made Satoru release a heady groan. "'Course I did, baby... but seeing you come made me all hard, again~" He nibbled at the lobe of your ear, his hands wouldn't stop roaming against your skin, your sensitive breasts, until his fingers found the heat between your legs and began to massage your sensitive flesh. "You're just so goddamn sexy."

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who was not shy about voicing his need for you — no matter where you were; and you were more than willing to satisfy his surprising nature. The wild rush of it made the frenzy of sex more heated for you both, especially when it was in areas where you had to keep quiet. In a public bathroom of an outdoor garden, with your back slammed against the wall of the gym showers, or on the empty terrace roof that overlooked a busy street. Satoru loved watching you repress your mewls and moans so that no one would hear you. He'd lean down to your ear as he thrusted savagely, and you felt his grin against your skin; the words he'd murmur like a tempt into sin;

"Look at you, squirmin' and pantin' for me, hmm? I'd love to fuck you in front of all them, baby girl. They'd all be so fuckin' jealous that I've the most gorgeous girl in the entire world."

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who revelled in the bruises and bites you left on his gorgeous skin just as much as Satoru loved it, too. He was like a canvas that was yours to paint, to mark, to claim. His neck, the pretty nail marks you created down his strong shoulders — so broad you could never reach all the way across. His favourite place to leave litters of teeth marks on you must have been between your thighs. You were the most sensitive on the inner area, and Satoru just loved to be a tease. Instead of putting you out of your misery, squirming and bucking into his mouth, he would move to kiss there, instead. And when he did, he'd always remind you that they were for your eyes, and your eyes, only.

"Your pretty thighs look so good, baby. I gotta leave a part of myself here, ya'know? Somewhere no other man can see."

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who never let the distance get in between you two. As a teacher at Jujutsu Tech and the strongest shaman the society had to offer, sometimes, Satoru was summoned away. Perhaps to remote country temples where Special Grades had decided to spring up, or overseas to set a mystery that had caught his interest to rest. But even so, late at night when you needed him the most, he would come to you. With one quick clap of his hands, he would transcend time and space just to warp right into your room. Quick and ferocious and frantic, he'd have you against a doorframe or smack in the middle of your floor, before he'd kiss you long and deep and promise he'd be back soon.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who had a plethora of pet-names he showered you in, and even more deep, guttural praises he muttered against your bare skin;

"Fuuuck, that's it, pretty girl. You want more of my cock? You're gonna have to ask nicely." "What does my princess need?" "You ride me so well, baby. Shit — take what ya need from me, use me as yours, baby girl." "Greedy girl... how bad do ya want me? You wanna come here and fuck yourself on my cock, huh?"

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who was born with an other-worldly hold on his colossal cursed energy reserves — but there was those rare moments when he sometimes let his power spike out as he lost control. When you bounced on him a little too good and angled your hips just right, or when you had him in your mouth and twirled your tongue around his sensitive tip — crash! A lamplight would go out. A vase would explode. You would feel the dangerous pulse of power that came from him — and giggle, taking it as a chance to tease the forever confident sorcerer.

"My love, do I feel so good that you just let your Limitless spike out?"

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who was so very clever with his hands. Being a Jujutsu Sorcerer pushed the Honoured One to train even the more unlikely muscle groups — like those between his fingers or the junction of his wrist. And oh, were you so thankful for it when he had them inside you. He could thrum them against your soft walls at a speed that made your eyes roll back. He could stretch you open, and then lean down and insert his tongue, lapping at your entrance until you clenched around him. Sometimes, Satoru would use his entire hand and palm at your core until you were wet and slippery and all over him, just the way he liked you.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who always took his morning showers with you. There was an intimacy to it, of course; in how you washed down the centre of his expansive shoulders, or how he massaged the shampoo into your hair. There was also the sight of his gloriously naked body lathered in suds and foam that you would never get tired of seeing. His hair — floppy, soaked, exquisite underneath your fingers when you gripped onto it and pulled him down to your mouth. Your bodies already slick, you would fit against each other perfectly, the soft slapping noises of wet skin would send the both of you smashing through ecstasy together much more quickly than usual.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who adored how your boyfriend fucked into you with him on top — but liked just as much when you took the reigns, too. There was just something about having the strongest sorcerer of them all pinned underneath you, huffing and helpless, while you bounced on top of his cock. You would splay your hands on his flushed pectorals, he would reach behind and hold onto the headboard, thrusting his hips up to meet you in kind.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who was a master at shaman energy, and was always finding new interesting ways to utilise it. When you were splayed naked on his expensive satin sheets and him leaning over you — concentrating Limitless into the palm of his hands and running them all across your sensitive skin. The intensity of it — how he was touching you without actually touching you — it sent any and all of your thoughts into a tailspin.

"This is...!" You gasped when he roved over your nipples, the vibrations of the gravitational pull massaging them in a way so unimaginably good. "Improper use of shaman energy—ah!" "Oya?" Satoru murmured, and you could hear the cheeky grin in his voice. He let those terrible, terrible fingertips pass down your naval and to the ache between your shaking legs. "You sound like you want me to stop, pretty girl..." Your eyes knocked to the back of your head. "Don't you fucking dare."

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who had a favourite position, and it involved you flipped over on your stomach and him, leaning over you, thrusting from behind. There was so many aspects that were in reach to him. He could feel the swell of your ass against his naval with every push his hips gave. He could hug you close — impossibly close, one hand braced beside your head, the other curled underneath to massage your bouncing breasts. Not only that, but it was so easy for him to lean down and whisper filthy secrets into your ear from this position — some of them going something like;

"Who's my pretty little girl? You feel so good. You always feel so. Fuckin'. Good."

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who asked him specifically to use his signature blindfold during sex. It was so coarse and dark — you could see nothing through the fabric, which was exactly what you wanted. All your senses sharpened when one of them was taken away — his touch was magnified, it felt like starbursts along your skin, like little flecks of fire. And when he'd make you come, you would do so violently. Your body would bow up from the bed like the straining bow of a harp. You would bark out his name, until he caught you, until he folded you against his heaving chest and gently lifted the blindfold from your eyes. He would run his fingers across your dazed expression and whisper;

"You are so beautiful. My gorgeous, gorgeous girl. It's okay. Come back down, come back down to me. I gotcha. Won't let ya go."

✎ . . . requested by lovely nonnie!

WRITING REQUESTS

#jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo smut #gojo satoru x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader smut #gojo x reader smut #🎋 — writing requests #💓 — thump

[rileyslibrary]

Idk if you’re taking commissions rn but if you are.. Can you do one where reader acts as Ghosts weighted blanket after an anxiety attack? I feel like he’d love that xx

I’m glad you asked for the reader to act as Ghost’s weighted blanket instead of the other way around because that would be like being flattened by a road roller. Also, it is good to note that anxiety attacks are not the same as panic attacks. Yes, they do have some similarities, but they differ. This story is about Ghost having an anxiety attack, so bear that in mind.

And let’s be clear here: he would never explicitly ask you to do such a thing.

Never.

In fact, he would never ask you to do anything that would need you to be physically attached to him, neither from the front nor back. And his anxiety, if he ever suffers from it—which I’m sure he does because, come on, who doesn’t in our times, plus it is mentioned in the comics—he can cover it pretty well.

But it takes one to know one, right? You’ve had your fair share of anxiety attacks; you know they are not sudden or obvious. Instead, they develop slowly, gradually. That sense of general unease lingers, haunting him for weeks, even months. He doesn’t start trembling or shaking out of nowhere. This one is subtle but constant, like a leaky faucet that drips every few seconds. He feels restless and triggered by something vague that he can’t understand himself. All. The. Time.

He knows what a panic attack is; he experienced it multiple times before, mainly due to the nature of his work. But an anxiety attack? To a soldier who associated the word “attack” with something swift, sudden and imminent? There’s no such thing as an anxiety attack to him.

No.

He doesn’t comprehend this constant need to stay in control, why he’s always tense, his inability to take a full, deep breath. To him, that’s just how his body functions. Relaxation has been a foreign concept since childhood, so he’s normalised it. And he learned how to bear these symptoms instead of understanding what triggers them and learning how to alleviate them.

You’ve observed the pattern; he tends to become like that a few months before a mission, so you were able to put one and one together.

And one day, you find him lying face-down on the bed. Something prompts you, and you crawl on top of him. He shifts and asks you, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing”. Maybe he even tries to stand up while you are on his back, and you ask him to trust you; he’ll see.

He’s hesitant but obeys, though he’s more alert than ever now. You settle on top of him; he feels like he’s carved from wood, but not because of his physique. He’s tense. Stiff. Rigid. He’s afraid to let go. He holds his breath. His palms are pressed into the mattress beside his chest, ready to spring into a burpee and launch you back to where you came from.

Yet he doesn’t do it. Slowly his muscles relax under your body, and you feel him gradually—though clumsily—release tension in each body part; his legs, back, and then his shoulders. He finally lets go of the breath he’s been holding, replaced by a long exhale, his first in months. He places his hands on the sides of his body and lets out a repressed chuckle.

You ask him why he’s laughing, and he asks you to turn your face away because you are breathing into his ear. You comply.

With you not watching, he can finally close his eyes now. Good.

But even Ghost can take so much weight. Or so much intimacy. After a while, he snaps out of it, and he wriggles out from under you, letting you fall on the mattress, muttering a brief “Enough.” He doesn’t thank you for anything. What did you really do? Yes, he feels a little lighter, and his mind is clearer, but all you did was rest on him. That’s all. No need to thank you for that.

He needs it, though. Again and again. No, he doesn’t need you, of course. No, silly. He craves that sensation again—letting go. So whenever he feels overwhelmed, he awkwardly gestures toward his back and asks you sternly to “do that thing”. And you try to suppress your laughter and obey his command.

And slowly, just like his anxiety attacks come and go, he realises that it’s not just your weight on top of him that soothes him. It’s you, your will to make him feel better, your heart beating against his back, your form attached to him that makes all this chaos in the world feel a little bit more manageable than before.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x gn!reader #simon ghost riley x y/n #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley fic #simon ghost riley fanfiction #simon riley x reader #simon riley x y/n #simon riley x you #simon riley #call of duty #ghost cod #cod ghost #ghost cod mw2 #modern warfare 2 #cod mwii #ghost cod mwii

[jaebeomsbitch]

Cherry Lips (E.M)

Pt II: in progress

Summary: Your childhood best friend steps up when your baby daddy skips town. Eddie had been with you through all stages of life, what's helping you through motherhood? Or Eddie Munson sucks out a clogged milk duct when you're in pain and eventually you finally sleep together

Pairing: Bestfriend! Eddie x Single Mom! Reader

Warnings: MINORS DNI, Titty sucking

A/N: Inspired by a reddit thread that I currently cannot find. Will update with link when I do. Smut next chapter!

You were knocked up by some stranger, a piece of shit who ran away as soon as you told him your one night stand ended in this, in the sweet baby girl. Luckily for you, your best friend Eddie was there every step of the way. He held you while you cried holding the pee stick, fuck he drove you to get it. He took you to every appointment, you eventually got tired of correcting the nurses that he wasn’t the father. 

You’d known Eddie for a long time. You were stuck at the hip since fifth grade, you can’t really pinpoint the day you became friends it just kind of happened. Your parents suspected he was your boyfriend, he was met with raised eyebrows when you first introduced him to your parents. After months of seeing you interact they grew maybe less suspicious or more like there was some unrequited love there. He looked at you like you were the sun in the sky and the waves in the ocean. You’d never really noticed or maybe you ignored it and Eddie was always too much of a coward to bring it up. Eventually the time passed where it became too awkward for him to say something…Say it, say anything really. You were friends for too long for him to finally come out with it so, he repressed those feelings. 

He slept around but never had a real girlfriend. Not that he didn’t want it, who doesn't want to have a partner? Who doesn't want to be beloved? His heart ached every time he saw you. Anytime he tried to date they didn’t want you around. They were always suspicious of you, of the way you touched him, the way you laughed around him but most importantly the way he looked at you. 

He held your hand as you gave birth to her, he yelled at your grip like the drama queen he is. His bangs stuck to his forehead with sweat, his mouth nervously spilling out words. What words? Mostly gibberish with a bit of praise about how well you were doing. You couldn’t really internalize whatever the fuck was going on. You just wanted the pain to end, whoever said childbirth was a miracle… it was a miracle anyone fucking did it. But this was your cross to bear, you wanted nothing more to be a mother even if it meant this. If it meant you needed stitches to hold you together, even if you felt bloated, and you didn't sleep most nights. 

Eddie was a godsend, he didn’t need to step up. He was your best friend not the father, the father was somewhere in florida fucking anything with a hole, probably fucking up some other girls life. But Eddie was here, he practically moved in when you found out you were pregnant. He started working overtime and put a downpayment on a house. Eddie… your Eddie the guy who promised to leave Hawkins and never return to this shitty town took on a thirty year mortgage. He refused your money when you wanted to pay rent, said he needed to move out of Wayne’s a long time ago. He didn’t know you were secretly putting money into the principal loan every month as rent. 

He was there and you didn’t know how to feel about it. You loved him for as long as you could remember. A deep rooted seed of love in your heart was planted there since the first day you met him. Since that awkward, too loud, lanky boy bumped into you in the hallway. Your heart ached, it was agonizing. Maybe if you were a different person, if you weren’t so afraid of commitment things would be different. Maybe if you weren’t a coward this would be his baby. A part of you knew though, knew that he saw your beautiful baby as his. You saw it in the way he held her after she was born, the way his dimples adorned his face as he cooed at her, and the way he loaded her in the car checking the seatbelt eight times to make sure she was secure. 

He’d wake up in the middle of the night and change her when you were too tired. He’d come home tired and hold her to give you a break. You can still remember the day you built the nursery. He went with you to the supply store to help pick out the paint, his hand on your back as you argued about which color to paint the walls. The guy working the paint station looked at you both with a bored expression. It all felt too domestic, it felt normal. You couldn’t pinpoint why but you could pinpoint that dull throb in your heart when he mockingly told you wanted to paint the walls with piss because you wanted yellow. Eventually you both decided on white, Eddie got his way. He’d read in a manual that white was productive for babies… How? You didn’t fucking know but you couldn’t argue with him when he looked at you with those big chocolate eyes and pulled you around the store gently, his hand never leaving the small of your back. 

Every night a piece of you feels broken… more like something is missing. Like there’s a tug in your heart and it leads eight feet to the wall on your right. To those ugly gray sheets and black comforter. You pad around the kitchen as she sleeps. You try and make yourself some quick dinner before she wakes up for her meal. There’s a throb in your breast, they feel tender and swollen, something that isn’t unusual but something feels wrong. They ache and feel tight, just as you turn off the stove and grasp the counter Eddie walks in. 

“Honey I’m home~~” He sing songs quietly.

“Eds” You whisper harshly trying not to crumple into a heap as you grip your tender breast. You can hear the thuds of his work boots stomping towards you. 

“What’s wrong?” He says in a panicked voice watching your head hung down in pain. 

“I- I don’t know. It hurts” You say, trying not to cry. You couldn’t freak out right now.

“Where, where does it hurt sweetheart?” He whispers, eyes wide and full of anxiety. His hands reach for you, touching you all over trying to find the source as you gasp for air. The sharp pains in your breast only getting worse. 

“My breast hurt s’bad” You silently cry, your knuckles turning white as you grip the counter harder. 

“Woah,” He says, holding you as you sway, the pain becoming increasingly unbearable like a water balloon about to pop. 

“We have to go to the hospital, somethings not right Eds” You say looking up at him, your nails digging into his forearm. 

“Your breast hurts? I- I read something in the manual about this” He says hurriedly, watching as you tremble. 

“I think I can make it better. I think you've got a clogged milk duct. Fuck sweetheart, okay. I- I have to suck on your nipple,” He says, holding you closer to him bearing your weight. 

“W-what?” You ask, maybe you just hallucinated that. 

“Yes, women have their husbands suck the blockage out all the time. Trust me, It’ll make you feel better and if it doesn't work we’re rushing towards the hospital” He almost pleads as he watches your face scrunch up with pain. 

“Okay, j-just do it” You say, the pain increases more and more. You let of your breast as he lifts you onto the counter, one of his hands on your waist and the other quickly bringing your shirt down. He was used to seeing your breasts because you liked to breast feed but this was different. You can’t even think about it because his lips are engulfing your nipple and he's sucking hard. Your hand comes up to tangle in his hair, holding him in place. The pain hurts so bad, it feels like it's shooting into your skin but also like it could pop like an overinflated balloon. Groans leave your mouth, your fingers pulling at his scalp as he continues to suck on your nipple. Small tears leave the corner of your eyes squeezed shut. 

Finally a floodgate opens and the pain starts to slowly subside. The feeling of his lips around your breast becomes a little more apparent, you blink your eyes open as he pops off your breast. 

“Did it work?” He asks, his lips covered in saliva as some of your breast milk dribbles out. 

“Thank you,” You say, voice cracking as you feel the pain fading away. Your hands not leaving his hair. You become acutely aware of the way his thumb is comfortingly brushing your waist. 

“It’s okay, you’re alright now,” He says softly, wiping the tears away. He looks down for a second before covering you back up. You stay there for a second, his hips slotted in between your legs, your fingers in his hair, and his thumb dragging across your waist. Eventually you let go of his hair, maybe you realized the position you’re in. Eddie clears his throat, stepping back from you, “You okay? We can still go to the hospital and get you checked out” He says, those big puppy eyes looking at you with concern. 

“I’m okay now, thank you for… uhm doing that” You say, your cheeks painted with a blush as you feel your blood run up towards your cheeks. 

“No problem. Just let me know if you feel it again and I’ll help, okay? Don’t feel embarrassed” He gives you a small smile. Without you asking he helps you off the counter, his strong hands holding your hips as he places you down on the floor. He says something about needing a shower as he leaves to his room, stopping by to check up on the baby. 

You stay frozen, your knees weak at your interaction. Eddie was so effortlessly sweet, he’d spent months reading every baby manual he could find in the library. Anytime he was out of town he’d pick up a new one trying to find every tip and trick to help you. Your heart pounds in your chest as you try to return to make dinner. Your thoughts full of Eddie, of the grip he had on you. How would his calloused fingers feel on your skin? How would his tongue feel against your sensitive nipples when you weren’t in pain? Fuck, no don’t imagine your best friend like this. He wasn’t your anything, he was just helping. 

You have dinner with Eddie, he tells you about all the new work gossip like nothing ever happened thirty minutes ago. Not that anything did happen, it wasn’t like he fucked you on that counter. No matter how many times you’ve imagined it before, especially the night he brought you here the first time… You were getting sidetracked again. You can’t help but notice the crinkles in his eyes as he laughs about something that happened at the shop or the way his hands move wildly as he tries to speak quietly. That is until there's a cry in the nursery, without taking a second glance at you he paces towards the room scooping up your daughter. You walk into the room watching as he rocks her “Shhh shhh, I’m right here honey. It’s okay” He soothes. 

“I think the little munchkin is hungry,” he coos in a baby voice turning towards you. You walk closer to them and grab her, she’s already suckling on the fabric of your shirt before you can pull it down. 

“Wow, we got an eager girl” Eddie laughs. We. You chuckle pulling down your shirt and adjusting her so she can latch on. Eddie looks away, “Need company?” He asks as you sit down on your nursing chair, he hands you a pillow to rest your arms on. 

“No it’s okay you’re probably tired. Get some rest” You say looking up at him. 

“But I haven’t seen my little pumpkin all day,” he pouts, fingers wiggling towards her. 

“Eds really, you don’t have to. You had a long day at work,” You say feeling guilty for relying on him so much. He waves his hand pulling up a seat and sitting down. 

“I want to hang out,” He says, yawning. You can see how tired he is, the way he’s already started trying to blink the sleep away but Eddie is stubborn. He sits there watching you both for a second but his eyelids get heavier and heavier until he falls asleep in the chair. You try to nudge him awake but he doesn’t wake. It isn’t until she’s finished eating and you've burped her that you are able to stand and wake him up. Your hand gentle on his shoulder as you shake him. 

“Eds, Eddie, time for bed,” You say softly. He groans, slowly cracking his eyes open, you caress his face, “Time for bed.” He nods his head, standing up at a snail's pace. He puts a kiss on her forehead and then yours before he stumbles into his room and crashes onto his bed. You stand there stunned, Eddie was affectionate sure but he’d never kissed your forehead. He was sleep deprived, that’s all that it was. Guilt gnaws at you, knowing he’s so tired because of you. Because his heart is too big and he’ll do everything in his power to help you even when he doesn’t have to. 

You spend some time getting her to settle down and fall asleep again before you leave the room. Your hand hesitates over the phone. It was late, like really late but you needed to tell someone how you felt. God, maybe you needed a therapist. Your fingers work over the buttons, you press the receiver to your ear as it rings, it doesn't click until almost the last ring. 

“Hello?” A sleepy voice says. 

“Robin, fuck sorry for calling so late,” You whisper. 

“No, it’s alright. I haven’t heard from you in a week. I was starting to get worried, "she says. 

“Rob… something fucking weird happened today,” You say, your heart pounding in your chest as you keep glancing over to his bedroom. 

“Oh my god is she okay? Do you want me to drive over there? I’m getting my bag,” She says frantically. 

“Robin, she’s completely healthy. Calm down,” You say in a hushed tone. 

“Oh thank God,” She breathes out. “What happened?” she asks curious as to why you’re calling her almost near midnight. You always called on her during the day. 

“Today… I guess I had a clogged milk duct and I didn’t know but that shit hurt like a mother fucker a-and…God this is so embarrassing,” You groan as silently as you can, not that Eddie could hear, he’s a very heavy sleeper except when it came to your baby’s cries. 

“Oh my god, this sounds juicy. Spill it out, bitch,” She says.

“Eddie sucked on it until it got unclogged” You whispered hurriedly. 

“WHAT,” Robin yells over the receiver. 

“Shh- shut the fuck up you’re gonna blow my ear drum out,” You say biting your nail. Your eyes keep flicking towards his bedroom like you're doing something you’re not supposed to. 

“Holy shit give me the play by play… Actually–. God I just know this is one of your depraved fantasies,” She laughs loudly. 

“Hardy har, I should give you a comedian of the year award. But… He literally pulled me onto the counter, whipped it out and started sucking like it was a normal thing to do. I was in so much pain I didn’t have time to freak out but I’m kind of freaking the fuck out,” You whisper.

“I do deserve an award. So you’re telling me he manhandled you and helped you… Girl that sounds like your wet dream. Weren't you always talking about–” Robin says.

“Shut the fuck up, this is serious! He acted normal when we had dinner but like… I mean he sucked my titty. Is that not supposed to be weird? Like it’s weird right?” You start pacing the kitchen. 

“Or are you making it weird? I think you’re overthinking it. Unless there's something else isn’t there? You like him, I mean everyone in fucking Hawkins thinks he’s your baby daddy anyway. What happened… Oh my god did you like it you dirty dog?” She gasps. 

“Yes, fine okay I sort of liked it and there was this moment,” You hush hurriedly. 

“A moment?” Robin is intrigued

“He didn't move after he helped. He was rubbing my hip until he knew I was okay, he asked me like forty times, and then he pulled me off the counter. Fuck and then he did the thing” You groan. 

“The thing?”

“He fucking went after the baby as soon as she started crying like it was out of instinct. Fuck Rob… I’m in too deep,” You sigh. 

“You wanna hear my opinion?” Robin says, you hum in response. 

“He’s had a massive fucking crush on you since like forever ago. Everyone can see it, he looks at you like you're the next coming of Jesus Christ,” She says

“No he doesn’t,” You immediately deflect. 

“Are you actually serious? He fucking bought a house for you. Eddie Munson, the guy who despises Hawkins, bought a house… for you. He comes home and takes care of your baby, he spends his days off with you two. When was the last time he’s even had a fling? Fucking two years ago? That man is in love with you, you’re just in denial and he’s just a coward,” She rips into you. 

“But what if he isn’t Rob? What if I tell him and he- he doesn't feel the same? I couldn’t live here anymore, fuck I couldn’t even look at him. I- I don’t know I’m just so fucking scared of losing him….” You feel the tears in your eyes spring forward. 

“Hey, hey no one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to tell him but I’m glad you finally admitted it. I just want you to know that I’m a thousand percent sure he’s fucking more than head over heels for you. He’s like stupidly in love with you… You could have the dream life. The white picket fence, the husband, you know the whole shebang if you just told him.” She sighs. 

“I don’t know Rob. I need him in my life, I can’t fuck this up. He’s like the sun and I’m just some shitty little weed that’ll wilt and die if he’s gone,” You say, trying to get rid of the tightness in your throat. 

“Hey you are not a fucking weed. You are a fucking Magnolia, this huge tree full of love and life. Don’t sell yourself short or I will drive the ten hours there and personally kick your ass,” She scolds. 

“How does one impersonally kick someone's ass?” You laugh. Robin always knew how to make you feel better.

“Don’t change the subject. Now you have to confess your sins. Since when did you start liking him?” She asks like you’re still in high school. 

“Ugh you’re annoying. Uhh… I don’t know I think I always did but it became like a thing in sixth grade. We were at this stupid party, I don’t know why my parents let me go. It was just like a bunch of tweens jacked up on soda playing spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven and I had to kiss some random guy. I kept wishing, praying, hoping it landed on him and it kind of clicked. God and he was so fucking weird looking back then too. Like his arms were too long for his torso,” You laugh. 

“Oh? You’ve been holding out. Now I gotta see some photos of you two back then,” Robin laughs imagining how Eddie looked back then. 

“I was worse, I was going through a weird bangs combed over phase and I had these big chunky glasses. Ugh I don’t even want to think about it,” You groan. Then there's a cry in the nursery, “Shit I gotta go. I’ll talk to you tom- today and you can catch me up on your date. Alright byeeee,” You rush. You hear a faint “Bye” as you put the phone on the hook and walk back towards the nursery.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson / reader #eddie munson / you #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson au #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie x you #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson my beloved #eddie munson fic #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson imagine #older eddie munson #mechanic!eddie #eddie munson x childhood friend #eddie munson x best friend reader #domestic fiction

[bloatedandalone04]

Back To You

➪the one where anakin is slipping away and needs you more than ever.

Part 1 | HAPPY MAY THE 4TH (had to get this out for today)

Warnings: self deprecating thoughts once again, anakin on the verge of turning evil, angst, fluff, insecurities, mentions of insecurities, mentions of death, urges to kill

Word Count: 4.3k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3

Your reflection stared back at you, your own eyes looking at you with pity.

Poor, lonely Y/n. 

With tense shoulders, you shudder out a deep breath and avert your eyes to the marble of the countertop. 

You hated when your thoughts ran around in your head like this. It didn’t happen often, no, not anymore. You weren’t a teen anymore, you had no excuse to feel like this, yet you just couldn’t help yourself.

Taking deep breaths to calm yourself down, you miss the way Anakin appears in the doorway, his brows furrowed and his shoulders tense, matching yours. “Y/n,” it was as if he knew what was happening, felt the way your own body was attacking itself with a sense of hatred and burden. 

You look back up and meet his eyes in the mirror, a small whine of embarrassment leaving you. “I wish you wouldn’t see me like this,”

Anakin hadn’t seen you act this way in many months, not since you were on the verge of becoming an adult. Your shoulders shaking beyond your control, the crease in your forehead, the quiver in your voice. He hated all of it. 

“Wish all you want,” he said as he stepped into the room. “I still see you.”

Crossing the short distance, Anakin stands behind you, his height towering over yours as you look at each other in the mirror. “You want to know what I see?” You quietly ask him and he stays silent, his eyes giving you a look of warning that told you all you needed to know. No, if you see anything negative about yourself and voice it to him, he doesn’t want to know what you see. You say it anyway. “I see someone unworthy of love, of being cherished. I don’t see a powerful warrior like I’ve been told I am. I’m nothing.”

Ankin places his hands on your waist, his grip firm as he stares you down in the reflection. “That is not true and you know it,” his voice was stern and left no room for arguments. 

But you were far too stubborn for your own good, a trait Anakin saw in himself and one of the many reasons he fell for you in the first place. “But it is true, Ani,” you protested, looking at yourself with a hint of embarrassment and disgust. “Look at me.”

“I am,” his voice was the most serious you had ever heard it, something that makes you promptly stop talking. You weren’t intimated, no, Anakin would never put you in a situation in which he held his power and strength over you, but you were, however, intrigued. So much so you waited for him to continue, a ghost of a frown painted on your lips. “You are so much more than that. Your mind may betray you, but it doesn’t mean it’s right. You are strong and more powerful than you even know. One day you will save this galaxy, and you don’t even know it yet.”

Your lip quivers and you repress showing the chill that runs down your spine. “What if I don’t believe that?”

“You will,” he affirms. His arms wrap around your middle and he leans down so his chin is hovering over your shoulder. You rest your arms over his as you hold eye contact, your sight slightly blurred. “And until that time comes, I’ll be here to remind you just how powerful you are.”

-

One by one, all the happy memories Anakin had with you faded into nothing, his heart cracking each time he felt a part of him slip away. 

His body nearly gave up on itself as he stumbled his way through the temple. One of his hands shot out to catch himself, his palm pressing flat against the wall as he steadied his footing. “Get it together, Anakin,” he muttered to himself, taking a deep breath in hopes to relieve some of the pressure he felt was weighing him down.

It was then when Obi-Wan rounded the corner and saw his padawan struggling to keep himself up right. He was at his side in seconds, his hand wrapping around the younger man’s arm and pulling him into a standing position. “Anakin,” he said, worry lacing his words. “Are you alright?”

Anakin gave him a slow nod, his dull eyes focused on the stone of the floor. He thinks back to his last conversation with you, a full three weeks ago, and his eyes abruptly shut, your words repeating in his head before leaving his own mouth. “I fear I’ve fallen ill,”

Obi-Wan gives him a concerned look, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “Take it easy,” he says, noticing the way Anakin refused to show him his eyes and the way his chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. “Relax, Anakin. You’re needed for the mission of protecting Senator Padmè and we can’t have you falling weak a few days before you’re set to leave.”

Anakin felt his ears begin to burn at the mention of Padmè, his jaw locking tightly as he lifted his head. He still refused to meet the eyes of his good friend, his shoulder raising quickly and making Obi-Wan’s hand fall off it. “I’ll be fine,” he muttered before walking forward and leaving the older man behind with a worried look.

His strides were quick, his chest heavy with a rage he had never felt before as he opened the door to his room with a rough shove. 

Protecting Padmè? The woman he had not spoken to since the night you left him? Putting his life on the line for the person who was the reason he hadn’t been happy in weeks? The one who helped him destroy the best thing in his life?

Not a chance.

Anakin’s shoulders tensed up as the door slammed shut behind him, his eyes flickering all over the near-empty room. 

He wasn’t as in control as he thought he was, and that much was obvious when he turned the entire place upside down a mere ten minutes after you walked out the door. 

He couldn’t help it, everything reminded him of you.

The thought of staying in this room that had always meant to shield you from the harsh reality by himself was one that kept him up at night. The dark circles that had formed under his eyes the day after you left him had become a seemingly permanent addition to his appearance. 

He almost didn’t recognise himself when he first noticed the deep and dark marks that shadowed his face. He assumed they’re from the lack of sleep he was getting, or not getting. 

He couldn’t sleep without you. He found that out pretty quickly.

After he had finished destroying every piece of furniture in the communal area of the room, he felt his bones ache with exhaustion. His eyes were burning and his hand was sore from throwing anything it could grab a hold of. Yet, as he made his way to the bed, the same one he had been holding you on - if only for a couple of seconds that he wished he could have back - only minutes prior, he discovered that he couldn’t fall asleep. 

His mind wouldn’t turn off, past memories with you flashing behind his eyes at a rapid pace. As he tried to get his body to relax and succumb to the darkness, he had no control over the way his hand twitched in the direction in which you always were, right beside him. Your side of the bed was cold, yet another thing he wasn’t used to as you were always there, for him to hold, for him to hide with. 

Now, three weeks later, and he is no better. He had gotten about five hours of sleep in total during the time he spent away from you, and it wasn’t something he had a say in. 

He wasn’t able to sleep in the bed, that much was obvious after his first failed attempt. After he rummaged through the dresser and grabbed onto one of your robes, he held onto the fabric with both hands. His face buried in it as he fell to the floor, his back pressed to the end of the bed. 

He fell asleep a few minutes after that, a death grip on your robe - one of the few things he had left of you. When he awoke half an hour later, he was met with the still dark sky and a pain in his lower back. 

It didn’t take him long to start tearing apart that dresser.

The few times he fell asleep after that were at random. 

While waiting for Obi-Wan to show up for a day of training, Anakin had fallen asleep against the wall of the meditation room. He was woken up an hour later by another Jedi who looked at him with concern and a bit of pity, something Anakin loathed. 

His sleep schedule consisted of quick naps in the most bizarre places, one being behind the wheel of his ship - that one nearly ended in a fatality for both him and Obi-Wan. Seeing as he was supposed to be the best pilot in all the galaxy, Anakin took Obi-Wan’s lecture without trying to defend himself as he didn’t even know what was wrong with him.

His sleep state wasn’t even a safe space. He had one dream about you, one where you came back and you held him and kissed him and told him everything he needed and had been desperate to hear.

The rest were nightmares. Or nothing at all. A void. 

Anakin felt like a ghost, a shell of who he used to be. 

He wasn’t happy, wasn’t consumed with excitement whenever he was set to fly, wasn’t filled with a sense of pride whenever he successfully completed a quick mission. 

He felt like his body was betraying him, and the fact that he hadn’t seen even a glimpse of you since you left didn’t help at all.

The temple was big, but he didn’t realise it was massive enough to keep you hidden from him for three weeks.

Three weeks.

Nearly four without you.

Anakin was sure that when the one month mark hit, his body would no longer function at his control. It hardly was now, so he was not looking forward to seeing how he would be in a week from now.

He turns right and enters the bedroom, everything untouched with the exception of the broken dresser beside the door. His eyes narrowed on the bed and he felt, what had to be, the hundredth sharp stab that pierced his heart in the past few weeks. 

-

“I’m nervous,” you nearly whispered, your hands running over Anakin’s bare shoulders. A single candle was lit and placed on the nightstand a couple feet from where his body hovered over yours on the bed. The flicker of orange made him look so innocent, so young and carefree, a sight you quickly decided was a blessing to see. “Will it hurt?”

Anakin leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead, his arms tightening around your frame. “Maybe for a bit,” he murmured against your skin. “We don’t have to do this tonight. I don’t want you to feel rushed.”

You shake your head, your nose brushing against his as you did so. “I want to do this, I promise,” your words are quiet and the only sound that fills the dark room. It was just you and him, the outside world blocked by a door and the curtains that covered the window. You had never felt more safe. “I need this. We need this.”

It was true. 

Anakin would be sent away the following morning on what would be his longest absence yet. While you had grown used to his day long missions, this one was said to be no less than a couple weeks. He had never spent that long away from you and he wasn’t coping that well with the thought of leaving you behind. 

The decision to do this tonight was mutual. 

He needed something to hold onto until he returned to you, and you needed the feeling of being completely loved and wanted to get you through the weeks you’d spend without him. 

Anakin nodded, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss before reaching over and taking your hand in his. “Only for a bit,” he said again before the distance was closed once more.

-

Anakin felt the last good memory slip away from him and his eyes darkened, an ache in his jaw as he clenched it again. 

He was going to do the mission; the one where they would be counting on him to keep Padmè out of harm’s way and protect her with his life. 

However, what they didn’t know was that Anakin was now treating this as a form of justice, or, in other words, an assassination.

-

“Y/n,” Obi-Wan greeted as he entered the meditation room. “I’ve finally found you.”

His smile was kind but told you that he wasn’t here to talk about anything good. You return the smile as best as you could, sitting up straighter and holding eye contact with him. “Master,” you say back, brows furrowing when the smile was replaced with a frown. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

The man nodded, his fingers tugging on the sleeve of his shirt in a way that showed he was nervous but was trying to hide it. “It’s Anakin Skywalker,” he said and you quickly looked away. “Something is troubling him.”

Your eyes focus on the floor as you fight the urge to cry in front of Obi-Wan. It would give away the very real fact that you were well aware of what Anakin was going through, and the fact you were in a forbidden relationship with the Jedi. 

Anakin.

You hadn’t heard his name in weeks, cutting off any communication with him and anyone affiliated with him, including the very man standing in front of you. Guilt creeped into you, the same guilt that had plagued you since the moment you left the crying man by himself in the room you no longer felt at home in. 

The weeks you spent without the man you loved were brutal. 

You had been struck with an overwhelming feeling of guilt and you carried it with you every day. Your heart broke every time you heard the hushed whispers of fellow Jedi about how the supposed ‘Chosen One’ was failing to do the simplest of tasks and had become a weak version of himself. One that didn’t show up to important meetings, didn’t give his all on quick and easy missions, and looked like he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep in months. 

The one who looked on the verge of falling to the dark side.

You didn’t want to think about that last one, despite the numerous times you’ve heard it be brought up. Never did you ever think Anakin would become the worst version of himself, become a person he was so far from and forget about everything that made him the powerful Jedi he had been for so long now. 

There was no way it was because of you and how you left things. How could it? How could you mean so much to someone that they’d forget all they worked for, fought for, bled for, just because you were no longer a constant in their life?

It just didn’t make sense to you, but then again, the fact that you even had a sliver of Anakin Skywalker in the first place didn’t make a whole lot of sense, either. 

He was too good for you, too kind and caring and someone who deserved the world. Something you couldn’t give him, no matter how much you wanted to. 

You wanted to give him any and everything he asked for and more, but you couldn’t. And you would never be able to. 

You couldn’t even give yourself the time of day and dedication needed to progress in your life, so how could you possibly help Anakin in any way?

The question had you looking up and meeting the eyes of Obi-Wan once again. “What does that have to do with you looking for me?”

“If I recall correctly, you and Anakin were quite close not too long ago,” he said and you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat and how you wanted to point out just how close the two of you had been. “Is that right?”

You nodded quickly, eyes focusing on the wall behind him. “We were, but not anymore,”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Obi-Wan gave you a look of pity before he continued, “Anakin is a good person, someone who I find myself looking up to. I’m afraid something has happened….something that could lead to his demise.”

That made you stand up, your brows pressing together as you stepped closer. “What do you mean?”

The man hesitated before swallowing harshly. “I’ve been observing him and I’m worried about what I’ve seen so far. He hasn’t been sleeping or focusing. Just this morning I found him against a wall, unable to hold himself up,” he says. “He wouldn’t look me in the eye. I can’t help but fear the worst.”

Your eyes flicker between his. “What are you saying?”

You share a look before he places a hand on your shoulder. “I’m afraid we’re losing him to something he should have never seen or felt,”

-

“Anakin!” Your hand turned the doorknob before you could even think about knocking first. Stepping into the room, you let out a quiet gasp at the sight of destruction. Not a single thing was how you left it, not even the side of the door that faced the inside of the room. It was dented and beaten in, hints of blood here and there that told you exactly what had happened to the wood. 

You stumble your way through the now unfamiliar room and head straight towards the bedroom, where you’re met with a demolished dresser. The rest of the room seemed untouched and you bent down to pick up one of your shirts, fisting the material in your hand. The rest of your clothing was thrown around the floor, some stuck on the corner of the bed that looked like it hadn’t been slept in since you left.

Dropping the shirt, you turn around after coming to the conclusion that the room was empty. You stand outside the door that led to the bathroom, your hand hovering over the doorknob. 

He had to be in there, and that thought had your heart beating rapidly. 

With a firm twist, your fingers press against the door and push. 

Standing in front of the mirror was Anakin, his eyes glossy and staring at his reflection. His shoulders were stiff, his whole body tense in a way that had you swallowing nervously. His hands gripped the marbled countertop tightly, his knuckles turning a few shades lighter as heavy pants left his mouth.

Pushing back a small ounce of uncertainty, you step into the room. He must have been deep in thought as he didn’t notice the door open or your smaller figure enter the room. You were afraid to ask what was going on in that pretty head of his. It had to be something awful to have him this out of it. 

“Anakin,” You say his name quietly, almost to the point of it being inaudible. 

But he heard you. Whatever daydream he was in was ripped away the second your voice hit his ears. His eyes moved from his own and met yours in the reflection, the crease in his brow softening as a shaky breath left his lips. The feeling of relief was short-lived. “You’re not real,” he muttered, not giving you a second glance as his eyes went back to being stone cold. 

It was then when you realised how much you truly meant to the poor boy. You really had no idea that you, of all people, could mean this much to someone, let alone the perfection that is Anakin. 

He was so messed up to the point where he didn’t even believe he was actually seeing you. 

You felt your heart break all over again. “What have I done to you?” You ask, holding back a dry sob as you take a daring step closer. “Anakin…it’s me.”

He only shook his head, his chin tilting downwards as he muttered something under his breath. 

You blink back a tear or two as you cross the room, your hand tugging on his arm. “Look at me,” you nearly cry out, your grip making him turn slightly. His eyes left the mirror and landed on you. The blue orbs softened just a bit and you watched as what seemed to be a million thoughts ran through his head. You reach up and caress the side of his face, your thumb gently stroking his cheekbone as well as the scar that graced his skin. “Look at me.”

The furrow in his brow faded away as his hands left the counter, his body fully turning to face yours. “Y/n,” he whispered, his hand reaching up to wrap around your wrist as he leaned into your touch. 

You let out a quiet hum to let him know that was really you and that you were here, with him. “I’m so sorry,” you say quietly, your thumb continuing to stroke his face while his stroked the skin of your wrist.

His eyes were still glossy and his whole being still seemed as if it was far away. Your other hand grasped his shoulder as you stepped closer, trying to think of what to do to get him to fully come back. 

A delirious grin formed on his lips as he looked at you, still not believing you were actually there. “I missed you,” he murmured, his eyes flickering all over your face before he began to turn back towards the mirror. 

You placed both your hands on his face and pulled him away from whatever trance the mirror held over him. Tugging his head down, you press your forehead against his. “I’m here,” you whisper, reaching one hand down to grab his and place it on your waist. “I’m here and I’m so sorry.”

 Anakin furrowed his brows again, his head shaking as his gloved hand tightened its grip on you. “It’s not…you’re not-”

“I am,” you cut him off, squeezing your eyes shut tightly as if it’ll help stop the love of your life from turning on everything he had going for him. You weren’t sure what to do at this point. Anakin was in denial, seemingly stuck in a very fragile state and balancing on a very thin edge of becoming something he swore he wouldn’t. A tear slips down your face as you brush your nose against his, an act you’ve done too many times to count. “Please….come back to me.”

Whatever had a hold on his mind seemed to let go as you said the words he had been craving to hear, the same ones you murmured to him in the first and only dream he had about you since you left - the same ones he said to you.

He pulled back just slightly, his eyes staring into yours as his face relaxed for the first time in nearly a month. His lip quivered and his eyes filled with unshed tears, his hand that wasn’t on your waist coming up to grip the back of your neck as he pulled you into him.

You wrapped your arms around him as your face pressed against his chest, a sigh of relief and desperation leaving both of you. 

“Angel,” the name falls easily from his lips, his arms tightening around you as if you would disappear at any given second - and he’d be alone again. “You’ve come back to me.”

“I never should have left you,” you say back, your voice muffled due to the sobs you were holding back. “I’m so sorry, Anakin. Please, forgive me.”

His hand slides upwards to cradle the back of your head as he quietly hushes you. “It’s okay, my love,” he says quietly, his mind becoming foggy at the fact that he had you back in his arms. “You’re okay.” He presses his lips to the side of your head, his hand refraining from pulling you back in when he feels you push against him.

“I’m not,” you shake your head, your hands fisting his shirt. “I haven’t been. I feel so bad, Anakin. I hate that I hurt you. The guilt has been eating me alive, I’m so sorry for everything I put you through.”

Your sweet voice was music to his ears and he brought his hand around to the front of your head, where his thumb brushes away your tears as he quiets you once more. “It’s alright, angel,” he says, pulling you close once again. “We’ve found each other again, there’s nothing to be sorry for. We’re okay.”

Before you could nod in agreement, his lips pressed to yours in a gentle yet firm kiss. The action made his own tears fall as he closed his eyes, begging to anyone listening that you’d still be there when he opened them again. “I love you,” you mumbled when you pulled away, your forehead resting against his cheek. “So much.”

“I love you,” he says in return, holding you close and inhaling the scent that only belonged to you - the scent that made him dizzy. “Take me back.” Let me live again.

You nod quickly, leaning up to kiss him again. “It’s you and me,” you say against his mouth, feeling the way his arms wrapped protectively around your middle. 

“You and me,” he agreed, kissing you once again. Forever.

-

Part 3

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x female reader #sw anakin #anakin skywalker x you #anakin fanfiction #tcw anakin #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin star wars #hayden christensen #hayden christensen imagine #hayden christensen x reader #hayden christensen gif #hayden christensen edit #anakin angst #anakin skywalker angst #anakin skywalker fluff #may the force be with you #may the 4th be with you #happy star wars day

[alwaysmicado]

Don't ruin the sofa

6.5k | 18+ MDNI | fwb!Joel Miller x f!reader | pt. 3

Warnings: no outbreak au, implied age gap, mild hurt/comfort, mention of blood, phone sex, talk of anal play, one (1) face slap, rough sex, pain kink, unprotected piv, creampie, breeding kink, degradation/praise, fluffy aftercare, pet names, dom!Joel Summary: After a phone call brings up repressed emotions, you decide to buy a new sofa. Joel assembles it for you, then fucks you on it.  A/N: You're trying to reach reader? Sorry, she's moved on. (+ is fucking the hottest guy around). Read the previous parts here: pt. 1 | pt. 2 | masterlist | AO3 (each part can be read alone). Thank you all for your love on this series. Your kind words mean the world to me. 🤍

“How is this my fucking life,” you whisper to yourself and let your phone fall onto the wooden coffee table with a thud. You get up with a groan and drag yourself to the fridge where you know an opened bottle of white wine is waiting for you, then pour yourself a healthy amount, eye the glass, pour some more and shuffle back to the sofa. 

As soon as you plop back down, your phone lights up and vibrates for the third time since you came home from work. The loud and resonant buzz, amplified and carried by the hard surface of the table, is aggravating to say the least. You take a big sip of your wine and let out an exasperated sigh when the caller won’t let up. That’s it, you’ve had enough. In a split second you swipe up to take the call and put the phone to your ear. 

You don’t say anything. He’s the one who’s been texting and calling you every night for the past week, so you’re certainly not going to say something first. Instead, you wait and swirl your wine.

“Finally,” you hear him breathe with relief. “I thought you’d never pick up.” 

Then why do you keep calling, you stupid idiot. You roll your eyes in annoyance and put your naked feet on the coffee table. The wine is successfully taking the edge off, but you're still this close to telling him off for good. Perhaps you should; he deserves it. 

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot, babe,” he purrs into your ear, his sickeningly sweet voice sending a shiver down your spine. “About you, about us; about everything, really. About what could’ve been if things didn’t end like they di-”

“What do you want, Simon?” You interrupt him, your patience for his theatrics already wearing thin. 

“Oh, babe,” he breathes, “It’s so good to hear your vo-”

“What do you want?” You ask again, emphasizing every word.

“I want to apologize,” he answers with a deep sigh, then clears his throat. “I- I’m sorry about what happened and how we ended things, I really am.”

You snort and pluck a stray piece of lint from your tank top. Is he for real right now?

“Cool story, Simon,” you deadpan as you get up to go grab the wine bottle from the fridge. “That it?” 

“I was hoping we could talk about things, maybe meet up? I’d love to see you.” 

You slam the fridge door shut and take the bottle back to the sofa. “There’s nothing to talk about,” you mutter and pour yourself another glass. 

“Of course there is,” Simon protests, the agitated tone of his voice betraying the calm and collected facade he tried to put up. “I really think we should talk about what happened. I can’t just forget about it, you know.” Oh yeah, this is the real Simon. Always trying to manipulate the people around him. Sucks for him that you’ve figured it out. 

“Sounds like a you problem,” you mumble and bring the cold rim of the glass back to your lips. 

“Oh, come on now. Why are you acting like this?” He groans, his annoyance palpable. When he realizes you’re not going to answer him and that he maybe should be more diplomatic, he relents. “I just think we should talk about it, that’s all.”

“You wanna talk about it, huh?” You laugh dryly. “About how you were fucking Laura while I was bleeding. Or how you were fucking her when I was in surgery. Or how you were fucking her when I desperately tried to reach you. You wanna talk about all of that.” 

“Hey, that’s not fair,” Simon counters. “We weren’t together at that point and-,” he trails off and sighs deeply. “I was scared, okay?”

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. “We’ve had this exact conversation three years ago, Simon. There’s nothing left to say. I’m over it.”

“How can you say that?” he asks incredulously.

“You never once called me after I moved out to ask how I was. Not once,” you sigh, this conversation slowly tugging at the stitches of wounds you thought were long closed.

“You told me you didn’t wanna hear from me,” Simon huffs. “And I was- fuck. I’m just sorry, okay? I know i fucked up.”

You both don’t say anything for a few seconds, his breathing in your ear the only thing you can hear. 

“Can we meet, babe? Please? I think it would be good for both of us.” 

You chug the remaining wine and take a deep breath.

“Leave me the fuck alone, Simon. I got nothing to say to you.” 

And with that you hang up and throw your phone across the sofa. You take a deep breath, put your feet on the ground and your palms on your thighs. You close your eyes and say out loud, “calm, safe, breathe.” You repeat the mantra before adding, “It’s over, I’m here, I’m safe. Nothing can hurt me, nothing can hurt me.” 

When you open your eyes again and observe the familiar surroundings of your apartment, a soothing feeling of  comfort washes over you. There’s the purple vase you bought at a flea market in the first week after moving in, there are your beloved succulents that look as healthy as ever, there’s the painting you got from your talented colleague for your last birthday. And there’s the polaroid Tommy took of you and Joel at the party where he introduced you two.

You quickly wipe away your tears and turn on your TV. Another glass of wine, your favorite show and you’ll be able to sleep in no time, you tell yourself. You get up to get a new bottle from the fridge and decide to take the leftover banana bread you made with you as well. It’s time for all the comfort you can get. 

With your hands full, you shuffle back to the sofa and, due to the dim light and the fact that you just downed an almost full bottle of wine on an empty stomach, you completely miss the fact that you’re directly walking into one of the coffee table legs. You stub your toes hard, trip and fall to the floor. You can only watch in slow motion as the plate flies through the air and shatters on your hardwood floor, the banana bread just rolling away sadly. The wine glass is even more spectacular, as its contents spill all over your sofa and the glass explodes into a thousand shards. 

“Fuck my life,” you groan and get on your knees to pick up the big pieces with your hands before sweeping up the smaller ones with a dustpan and brush later. 

“Shit,” you hiss and clutch your wrist. 

Of course you cut yourself on one of the shards, blood immediately trickling down onto the carpet. The cut on your palm is not deep, but it stings. And the blood is already seeping into the fabric - great. You let out an exasperated sigh and get up. 

You can’t be bothered to take care of all this right now, so you slap a too small bandaid over the cut, brush your teeth, take your melatonin with a glass of water and go to bed. 

— 

What sociopath calls this early? And on your day off no less. You groan at the sharp and grating sound emitted by your phone on the nightstand, but pick up when you see who it is. 

“Yeah?” Your voice is little more than a hoarse whisper, laced with a sleepy rasp. 

“Aww, did I wake the princess?” Joel asks in mock concern. You can hear the smirk on his stupid handsome face through the phone. 

“No, no,” you murmur and rub your bleary eyes. “I’ve already run ten miles, deep-cleaned my whole apartment and rescued a cat from a tree. What have you done, hm?” 

“Touché. Very impressive, darlin’,” he chuckles, your wit never failing to amuse him. “And no, I haven’t rescued any cats so far today. I’m just at work. Besides,” he continues before his voice takes on a sultry tone, “the only pussy I’m interested in is yours anyway.”

You involuntarily suck in a breath and feel yourself clench around nothing. You’re still half asleep and have no clue what planet you’re on, but Joel’s still managed to get you all hot and bothered within ten seconds of your conversation; and with a shitty pun at that.

You might have a mild problem. 

“Hmm, you like that, don’t you?” He groans softly as the rhythmic fapping sound reaches your ear.

“Are you jerking off right now?” You ask, less shocked and definitely more turned on than you should be. 

“Yeah,” he purrs. “You wanna help me, baby?” 

“Hang on,” you say, trying to process the situation. “You’re at work and you just what, decided to call me at - you look at the time on your display - 7:13 in the morning, so I could get you off?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Joel murmurs into your ear.  

You can’t help but chuckle at his audacity and complete lack of shame. You love it. 

“Alright,” you coo, “but first you gotta tell me what’s got you all riled up.” You put him on speaker and slide your hand between your legs. 

“My secretary’s wearing a tight dress today,” he murmurs, then spits into his hand to wet his shaft.  

“Oh yeah?” You whisper, “She turn you down and now poor you has to make do with me?” You run your fingers through your folds and bite your lip as you spread the slick from your core to your clit. 

“You know me better than that, darlin’,” Joel says softly. “I was scrolling through the photos I took of the construction site yesterday and then the pic you sent me caught my eye. Couldn’t concentrate on anything else afterwards.” 

A triumphant smile spreads across your face as you think of Joel losing his composure because of you. It is a hot photo to be fair. After your phone call with Simon on Sunday night, you ordered a new sofa, carpet and some fun items of the adult variety to feel better. While trying out one of them, you felt compelled to let Joel have a piece of your fun and sent him a pic of you with your best assets on display. 

“You like that one, huh,” you tease, your fingers slowly circling your sensitive bundle of nerves. “I was thinking about you when I took it, you know.”

“Fuck yeah,” Joel murmurs, his breathing heavy. “Look fucking gorgeous with your ass stuffed and your tits out.” 

“Mmm, it’s a new ribbed dildo I got. Felt amazing in my tight little hole,” you purr and hear Joel groan softly at the image. “I used a vibrator on my clit while I fucked my ass, but my pussy felt far too empty. It was dripping so much I had to change the sheets after.”

“That’s my dirty girl. You want two cocks to stuff your greedy holes, baby?” He moans, clearly aroused by the idea of seeing you fall apart while being filled to the brim. You dip your fingers into your wet cunt and use your slick to rub your clit harder.

“Yes, Sir,” you breathe, causing Joel’s painfully hard cock to twitch, “want you to tie me to the bed so my pussy’s wide open for you. I want you to choose a toy that’s too big and push it inside my dripping hole to stretch it until it’s a ruined mess. When you’re satisfied and take the toy out of my ruined hole, I’d beg you to finally fuck my cunt with your cock, but you’d fuck my ass instead and just leave my used pussy clench around nothing.”

You moan breathlessly as you can feel the muscles in your abdomen tighten and pleasure building rapidly. Hearing Joel lose his mind on the other end of the line is setting all of your nerves on fire and you desperately wish he was here to fuck you like you deserve. 

“Fuck, you’re such a perfect little whore,” Joel groans, fisting his cock faster. “I’d film the whole thing, so I could show you how pathetic you look begging for my cock and dripping with my cum. I’d fill you up over and over again until you’re a crying mess begging me to stop.” His moans are getting louder and you can’t help but wonder how thick the walls of his office must be.  

You can’t wait for him to get his hands on you and do with you as he pleases. “I’ll take whatever you decide to give me, Sir.”

“Gonna take my cum in all your holes, angel?”

“Yes, Sir. Please, I need it so bad. I just wanna be your cum slut for you to fill up.” 

When Joel just groans at that, you know you’ve hit on something. “That’s what I am, right? Your cum slut to fill up?” You’re incredibly close to coming already, but you want to wait for Joel. 

“That’s what you are, angel. And you’re just perfect like that. Three holes for me to use. Always so,” he pants breathlessly as he’s tip-toeing on the edge of his release, “always so fucking good for me. Gonna- gonna ruin you, baby. Gonna make you come on my cock until you cry.”

“Can I please come, Sir? I- I don’t think I can wait anymore,” you whine desperately, Joel’s filthy mouth putting you over the edge. 

“Oh yeah, baby,” he pants breathlessly as he increases the pace of his strokes. You can hear the obscene sound of him fucking his fist. “You gonna come with me?”

You moan his name as you reach your peak, your whole body trembling and finding its release. Joel is right behind you, erupting into his hand and onto his belly with a strangled groan. Your orgasm is so intense that you can ride it out for a few ecstatic seconds filled with your breathless moans. When you come down from your climax, you only hear your blood rushing in your ears and the pulsating sound of your heart.  

You try to catch your breath for a few seconds and open your eyes before asking, “Joel, you alive?”

When the only thing you hear is heavy breathing, you giggle. You know exactly how he looks right now, all disheveled with his wet cock out and a big satisfied smile on his lips. You wish so badly you could lick up every last drop of his cum. 

“Mmm, you’re such a good girl,” Joel murmurs after some time, still coming down from his high and opening a drawer to retrieve some tissues. “I’ll clear my schedule, so we can do this every morning, alright?” 

You chuckle and turn on your side, “You’d get bored with me pretty quickly if we did this every day.” 

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard today,” Joel scoffs and wipes his softening cock with the tissues. “And I had to explain to Tommy that he can’t influence the gender of his future baby by fucking his wife a certain way. So, yeah.” 

You laugh at the image of Tommy vividly explaining how he and Maria have sex and Joel just standing there, dumbfounded, asking himself if he might have damaged his little brother’s brain when they were wrestling as kids.

“Alright, babe,” Joel says softly, “since my cock’s not hogging all of my blood anymore, I should try and get some work done.” 

“Good idea,” you chuckle. “Say hi to Tommy from me, okay?”

“Will do, darlin’. And you let me know when you got time to show me that new toy of yours in person, alright?” 

Your eyes lock on the big IKEA packages in your living room and you bite your lip. 

“You wanna come over later?”

---

You’re actually excited for your new sofa. You’ve had the old one removed by a company yesterday and already spread out the new carpet. It’s gray with white shapes on it. And it’s fluffy, so you’ve spent quite some time walking on it with bare feet.

You assembled your old sofa yourself when you moved in three years ago. It was dark blue and you loved it. But you also spilled a lot of stuff on there over time, bodily fluids included. So it’s nice to get a new, clean one. 

Especially when it’s the reason why Joel Miller is currently kneeling on your floor, his broad back and arms stretching the fabric of his white T-shirt, his perfect butt accentuated by his jeans, wrestling with the IKEA manual he insists is “misleading” and “must’ve been written by some idiot who’s never built anything in his goddamn life”.

Needless to say, you’re loving the free entertainment. 

He shoots you an annoyed look and lets out an exasperated sigh when you point out for the third time that he’s reading the instructions wrong. You can’t not tease him, he makes it too easy. 

“As much as I appreciate your very generous help, darlin’, I really wish you’d get the fuck outta here before I strangle you. Lovingly.” 

You giggle and scratch the back of his head softly. “It’s not like you to get so frustrated, baby,” you purr into his ear as you lean down, giving him a perfect view of your naked tits under your oversized shirt. “You sure you don’t need my help? I wouldn’t want you to strain your poor knees and back too much, you know.” 

You wish you could take pictures with your retinas because the glare Joel is giving you right now is priceless.

“You think that’s funny, huh?” He scoffs and tilts his head as his dark eyes bore into you. Uh-oh, now you did it. “If you’re not out of this room in ten seconds, I’m gonna tie you to your bed and edge you with a vibrator on full volume until you’re crying from pain. And believe me when I tell you that I will not let you come.” 

A smug smile tugs at the corners of his plush lips as he observes how your pupils have dilated and how you're pressing your thighs together at his threat. He raises an eyebrow when you don’t move and tuts, “Poor baby, already cockdumb even though I haven’t even touched her yet, hm?” You frown at him, but he just laughs at you. “Time’s ticking you little brat, better get out while you still can.” You bite the inside of your cheek and sigh dramatically before heading for your bedroom. 

When you hear Joel chuckle behind you, you hesitate for a second, but he’s already read your mind. “Don’t even think about it,” he growls. “And close the door.”

You do just that, jump on your bed and watch Netflix on your laptop. It only takes Joel another 40 minutes to finish assembling the sofa, so you’re pleasantly surprised when he calls your name so soon. 

You close your laptop and quickly smell your armpits. You’ve showered in the morning, but it’s still incredibly hot even with the AC blasting. When you’ve assessed that you smell good, you open the door to the living room. 

“How do you like it?” Joel asks as he’s standing next to the cream-colored piece of furniture. He’s already put away all of the packaging material and made sure the cushions are clean. It looks absolutely stunning and nicely complements all the other furniture in the room.

You trace the back of the sofa with your hand, appreciating the soft material and come to a halt when you’re flush with Joel’s body. You look up into his eyes and coo, “Thank you so much, Joel. I love it.” He smiles back at you and studies your face for a second before grabbing you by the nape of your neck and your ass cheek. 

“You listen to me very carefully now ‘cause I’m not gonna repeat myself,” he growls, intensifying the grip on your neck. “You do as you’re told. You answer me. You don’t come unless I tell you to and I’m not gonna stop unless you say your safeword. Understood?”

You’re so stunned that you can only nod, your words completely failing you. 

You gasp in surprise as Joel’s palm cracks against your left cheek, leaving a stinging imprint. You instinctively move your left hand to soothe the pain, but Joel is faster than you and catches your wrist. “Tell me your safeword, baby,” he purrs and caresses your sensitive cheek. 

You stammer the specific word you both know to be your safeword before he tangles his hand in your hair and captures your lips in a hungry kiss. Your heart rate picks up immediately as you part your lips slightly, allowing his tongue to slip in. The sensation of Joel’s soft lips and his broad body pressing against yours has you rub against the bulge in his jeans. 

He grabs your thigh and lifts it up, so he can grind against your aching core directly. You moan into his mouth, your hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him into you as you move your hips in sync with his thrusts. You’re so sensitive since your orgasm this morning that you could come like this if he let you.

“Such a needy little thing, aren’t you,” he pants as he breaks the kiss and studies your face. Your pupils are blown, your chest is heaving and your mind is spinning. You want him so badly it hurts. “Take off your clothes and bend over the armrest, baby,” Joel orders and you obey immediately. You let your shirt and pj pants fall down to your feet, causing Joel to suck in a sharp breath when he sees that you’re not wearing any panties. 

He looks at you hungrily as you bend over the sofa, your arms resting on the cushion and your ass in the air with your legs spread. 

“You’re the prettiest little whore I’ve ever seen, you know that?” He asks as he’s tracing your back with his fingertips. When you don’t answer him, he smacks your ass hard. You yelp in surprise at the impact and instinctively close your legs. Joel presses his clothed bulge against your wet pussy and kicks your feet apart with his. He caresses the red cheek with one hand and tangles the other in your hair to yank your head back. “Answer me or I’ll spank you until you can’t anymore,” he growls into your ear, the dangerous tone of his voice sending a shiver down your spine. 

“I’m the prettiest little whore you’ve ever seen,” you blurt out, then moan at the feeling of Joel running his fingers through your folds. “Mmm, you’re such a good girl,” he praises. “Always so wet for me.”

You hear him unbutton and unzip his jeans, hear his belt buckle hit the floor and his heavy breathing behind you as he coats his hard cock in your slick and gives it a few pumps. “I need you to be strong now, angel,” he says softly as he rubs your clit with his index and middle finger. You’re so desperate for him to touch you that his words don’t register. 

A needy moan escapes your lips as he’s finally relieving some of the tension that’s been building in your core all day long. You push your hips back as far as you can to chase the friction, but Joel withdraws his fingers all too quickly. You whine desperately at the loss and immediately feel tears well up in your eyes. You hear the dull thud of his T-shirt hitting the floor.

“Shh, be good for me, baby,” Joel purrs before you feel his hands grabbing your hips and the head of his cock nudging your entrance. Your eyes widen in realization as your brain has now processed what he’s planning on doing.   

Before you can protest though, he’s already ramming his cock inside you in one smooth thrust, splitting you open with a force you’ve never felt before. 

“Fuuuck, that’s it, baby,” Joel groans loudly, stumbling forward because of the shiver that’s running down his spine, causing him to go even deeper. 

The sudden impact of his cock spreading you open without any preparation besides your wetness has knocked the air out of your lungs. Only when he moves and nudges your cervix does your body finally allow you to cry out in pain.  

“Shh, it’s okay baby, it’s okay, I’m here,” Joel purrs as he gives you no time to adjust to his size or the pain at all, but starts to set a slow rhythm, thrusting his cock in and out of your tight pussy. You sob into the cushion and try to rub your clit on the armrest, but Joel pulls you back on his cock hard when he notices. 

“Nuh-uh, baby,” he tuts as he picks up the pace and uses his grip on your sides to bounce you on his cock. “What do you think you’re doing, huh?” 

He slaps the same spot on your ass as before when you don’t answer him. Your chest heaves as you choke on your sobs, unable to get an answer out. “I know it hurts, baby. I’m so sorry about that,” he coos as he continually rocks into you at an unrelenting pace. “But I really need you to answer me, angel.”

“I-I want to c-come, Sir,” you sob pathetically, tears streaming from your eyes. 

“I get that, baby, I really do. But I don’t think you understand what this is,” Joel groans. “You really think I’m gonna let you come, you brat?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you whine as Joel’s cock expertly massages your G-spot with every powerful thrust of his hips. The mix of pain and pleasure has your body and mind on fire. There are no thoughts in your brain, no ex-boyfriends, no past, no blood, no sadness - just Joel and you, melting into one. 

When he feels you tighten your muscles around him, hears your breathing get ragged and the pitch of your moans get higher, he pulls out of you. You scream and sob into the cushion as your legs shake uncontrollably. You were so close. 

“Fuck, I love the sounds you make,” Joel breathes, then starts stroking your back and ass gently before watching his cock disappear into your body once again. “I don’t care how good it feels,” he pants. “You'd better not come until I tell you to.” 

When you feel your orgasm approach quickly again, your body so utterly desperate for release, you resort to begging. There is no pride left, only carnal desire. 

“Please Joel, please, let me come, please,” you whimper weakly between sobs. “You can come wherever you w-want, my ass, my pussy, my m-mouth, all over me - just please let me come. I can’t take it anymore.” 

“That’s a good girl, begging so pretty,” Joel coos and slowly pulls out of you. He holds you steady as he feels you tremble. “Lie down, darlin,” he says softly and guides you on your back.

He kneels between your legs and puts one of them over his shoulders. He lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in. “Look at me, baby,” Joel breathes. “Look at me when you come.” You moan softly as he brings you to the edge of your release in the matter of a few thrusts. “That’s it, angel,” Joel encourages you, his face hovering above yours. “Don’t hold back, I got you,” he nods. You arch your back as you reach your peak, a choked groan escaping your lips as wave after wave of ecstasy washes over you. 

“Fuck, you’re so perfect, baby. Wanna come all over you,” Joel groans, your walls contracting around him as he’s slamming his hips against your core with abandon.

“Don’t ruin the sofa,” you mumble between breathless moans. Joel chuckles into your ear and nibbles on your earlobe. “I guess I’ll just have to fill you up then,” he rasps, picking up the pace and sinking his teeth into the delicate skin of your neck.

He comes with a low, rough grunt as he spills himself deep inside you. His hips stutter and his whole body suddenly goes limp as he comes down from his high on top of you. You draw shapes onto his back with your fingertips and he hums into the crook of your neck. When he tries to pull out after a few seconds, you grab his ass to stop him. 

“No, no, no,” you protest weakly, “it’ll drip on the sofa.” 

“Alright, baby, no worries. Just hold on to me, can you do that?” Joel asks gently. “Hm,” you answer and wrap your hands around his neck. He maneuvers you from your back into a sitting position with you on top, then moves to stand with you wrapped around him. He carries you to the bathroom like this, making sure his cock stays inside you the whole way. 

He lets you down right in front of the toilet and you immediately sit down, so his cum doesn’t drip on the floor. “Join me, when you’re done, okay?” Joel murmurs as he kisses your forehead before stepping into the shower. You pee and wait a bit for more of his cum to trickle out of you, then step into the shower as well. 

You squeeze past Joel to stand under the water, wet your whole body and hair and squirt some of the peach scented body wash onto your loofah to scrub your body. “Let me do your back,” Joel says softly, then massages you from your neck down to your feet with the sponge as you apply your shampoo.

When you’re both done, you dry off with two of your fluffiest towels and go to put on your clothes. You get yourself a new pair of pajama pants and another oversized shirt and Joel puts the clothes he came in back on. 

“What do you want from Domino’s?” You shout from the bedroom. Time for pizza and Netflix.

---

“What the fuck,” you hiss as you see the new notification on your phone. “I fucking told you to leave me alone, what is so fucking hard to understand? Asshole.” You lean over the counter and stare at Simon’s messages. Wanna give you space, babe. But I can’t live without you. You put the leftover pizza in your fridge and slam the door.

“You alright, darlin’?” Joel asks as he’s suddenly standing behind you in the kitchen.

“Yeah, sorry, all good,” you murmur, turning around to face him and putting on the most convincing smile you’re capable of right now. You’re not fooling Joel for a second and you know it. When he gives you a sympathetic look, you can���t muster the strength to pull up the corners of your lips anymore. Instead, you look at the fuzzy slippers on your feet and sigh deeply. “It’s my ex,” you say quietly. “He started calling and texting me a week ago after no contact for three years and it’s really stressing me out.” 

Your eyes find Joel’s and you immediately feel sorry for bringing it up. “Fuck, I-I’m sorry,” you stammer and shake your head. “It’s not your problem. Forget what I said.” He closes the distance between you two and wraps his strong arms around you in a warm embrace. You put your arms around him and stroke his back. You can feel his heartbeat. 

“Why don’t I make us some coffee and we sit back down on your new, not-ruined sofa, hm?” He murmurs into your hair with a smile.

“Joel, I don’t-”

“We don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to. We can just sit, drink coffee and not talk as much as you want.” His warm hands softly rubbing your back make you feel so safe. 

“Okay, thank you,” you mumble into his shoulder before letting go of him. You open a drawer and pull out a bag of cookies. “I got these for you if you want them.” You hold up the bag and Joel takes it with a furrowed brow and a curious smile. 

“How in the world did you know?”

“You honestly don’t remember?” You giggle. “You ranted about how much you love these for an hour when we got high a few weeks ago. They don’t sell them anywhere nearby so I ordered them in a specialty store online.”

Joel shakes his head and looks at you with his big puppy eyes. “You’re the best, darlin’. Thank you.” He kisses your forehead gently, then tells you to make yourself comfortable on the sofa.

You sit down and look around. Being here feels different. Your apartment looks the same as it did a few hours ago. Sure, the sofa and carpet are new, but there’s something else. You realize that it doesn’t bother you to have someone else in your home, in your safe space. It’s actually kind of nice to know someone’s here. 

“There you go,” Joel says as he hands you your cup. He sits down beside you and puts a bowl filled with cookies on the coffee table. 

You pull your feet up onto the cushion and say, “Thank you.” Joel puts his arm over the backrest and caresses the nape of your neck with his fingers. 

“You remember what I told you when you asked me to stay over on our first night together?” You ask quietly.

“I do,” Joel says softly. “You said you couldn’t and when I asked what you meant by that you said you didn’t wanna get attached.” 

“Sounds kinda mean now that I’m thinking about it,” you murmur. “You know it has nothing to do with you, right?”

“I know, darlin’,” Joel reassures you. “And I’ve told you from the beginning that I’m not gonna pressure you into anything you’re not ready for. We got a good thing going and as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“I haven’t always been this way, you know,” you sigh and play with the hem of your shirt. “And I fucking hate that it was one guy that ruined everything,” you say dryly and stare into your black coffee. “It wasn’t a good relationship to begin with and we both made some bad decisions. I know that. So when I packed up a handful of my things and walked out of our apartment forever, I didn’t think I’d ever hear from him again. Until now.” You take a sip of your coffee and continue, “He apologized for the shit he did and asked me to meet him.”

“How do you feel about that? Him apologizing?” Joel asks, his calm tone of voice soothing your nerves. 

You sigh deeply and let your head fall back onto the sofa. “I feel like it’s a goddamn joke,” you scoff and throw your arm over your eyes. “I don’t believe a single word he says and he didn’t even really apologize, you know? He still doesn’t understand what he did. Or maybe he does and just doesn’t care.”

You lift your arm and turn your head to look at Joel. “I dunno which is worse.”

“It sucks that he’s not giving you the apology you deserve after hurting you. I’m sorry, darlin’.”

“I just don’t understand why it bothers me so much, you know? I haven’t seen him in three years, I’m over it, so why does it still hurt so fucking bad?”

“Did you love him?” Joel asks and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

You look into his big, sincere eyes and nod. “Yeah,” you murmur. “At least I thought I did.” 

“Well, there’s your answer, sweetheart.” 

You hide your face behind your hands. “I’m such a fucking idiot,” you groan, embarrassed of your pathetic feelings and the way you’re behaving in front of Joel. Being this emotionally vulnerable is causing you physical pain. 

“Hey, stop that nonsense,” he objects immediately, scooting closer to you and pulling you against his chest. “You have a big heart, you have feelings. You’re allowed to feel hurt and you’re allowed to feel sad.” He kisses the crown of your head and murmurs, “You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

“Have you ever cut someone out of your life completely?” You mumble into his chest. 

“I have.”

“Do you ever think about them?”

“Sure I do,” Joel nods. “Not often, but yeah. It’s normal. Especially if they meant a lot to you.” 

“Hmm, I guess.”

You look up and give him a genuine smile before sighing and reaching for the remote. “Enough heavy stuff for today,” you say. “Let’s watch something. I can feed you cookies and scratch your back…”

---

“You wanna know what I like about you?”

“My old man fetish.”

He looks at you incredulously for a second, then starts tickling the soles of your feet in retaliation. “You’re such an ass,” he laughs as you try to wriggle away. You squeal and try to kick him off, but he’s got both of your ankles in a firm grasp. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” he murmurs, then pulls you closer. “C’mere.” 

You sit up and straddle him, your hands resting on his broad shoulders. Joel puts his arms around you, his hands splayed on your back, instantly grounding you and providing a sense of security. 

He looks into your eyes and murmurs, “What I was going to say is that I like your honesty; with yourself and others. It’s a quality you should never give up on, even if it’s hard.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good girl,” he murmurs, then looks at his watch. “I should go, darlin’. It’s been a long day.” 

You nod and let him get up to put on his shoes. 

“Joel?” 

He turns around and looks at you with raised eyebrows.

You want to tell him that he doesn’t need to go, that he can stay this time, but the words just won’t leave your lips. Instead you say, “Thank you for today, seriously.” You walk up to him and press a soft kiss to his lips. “You really helped me and made me feel so much better.” 

Joel doesn’t answer immediately as he tilts his head and studies your face. “I’m glad I could cheer you up, darlin’,” he coos and caresses your left cheek. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Will do, Joel. Thank you.” 

---

You open Simon’s messages and type in your reply before blocking him. 

Simon: But I can’t live without you You: Then die

---

Thank you for reading! 🤍 part 2 || part 4 || series masterlist

#fwb!joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x f!reader #fwb!joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller au #dom!joel miller #joel miller #joel miller tlou #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tlou fic #joel tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us hbo #alwaysmicado #joel miller fanfiction #joel the last of us #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro boys #joel x reader #the last of us #smut

[dreamwritesimagines]

Garden of Secrets [36] - Middlemist Red

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and support my loves, it made my whole week, you’re amazing!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤

Summary: Patience has its rewards.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms, mentions of sex.

Word Count: 4200

Series Masterlist

Rumors were an inseparable part of the ton, and you were well aware of that. Every season people found different things to gossip about and you’d had your fair share of being the subject of the said gossip, so it wasn’t supposed to be this surprising that they kept talking even after you got married.

But it didn’t mean you liked this particular rumor.

This was the second time Lady Whistledown had mentioned just how close Margery and Benedict seemed to be with each other, joking and laughing in the park when they ran into each other and even though you knew it was nonsense, you still couldn’t help the discomfort at the pit of your stomach.

Especially now that you were seeing it happen on the other side of the park.

“If I see your parents, I’ll give them a piece of my mind,” Lottie said, making you turn your glances to her. “They show up and make you feel bad all of a sudden? How dare they?”

“Lottie—”

“And to think they’ve been mean to you all this time?”

Well, what your parents had done was a bit more than just being mean to you, but you weren’t going to correct her on that.

“Simply unacceptable,” Lottie said, pointing at you with the cookie she was holding. “I’ll be with you at all times starting now, so that if they dare bother you again, I can handle them.”

You repressed a laugh.

“Much appreciated,” you said. “But you can’t be with me at all times Lottie, you have a wedding to plan.”

A smile brightened up her face. “I do!” she said. “But nevertheless Y/N, you are alright are you not?”

“Sure,” you said. “We don’t even need to talk about it.”

Lottie took a deep breath.

“I hate to ask, you know I do,” she said. “But have you seen Whistledown?”

Your eyes found Margery and Benedict who looked very much interested in their own conversation, Benedict frowning before he nodded at something Margery told him.

“It’s nonsense,” you forced yourself to say, and Lottie pressed her lips together.

“It is, but…” she said. “You know what? I suddenly remembered I had something to say to Benny, if you’ll excuse me.”

“Wait—Lottie no!” you whispered but she had already walked away from you to Benedict and Margery. Benedict turned to her, and raised his brows at something she said, then quickly bid Margery goodbye and followed Lottie as she started walking towards the street vendor to buy some lemonade while Margery walked to Lucy.

“Y/N,” you heard Anthony’s voice and looked over your shoulder.

“Anthony,” you said. “Hello.”

“May I?” he motioned at the spot beside you and you tilted your head in confusion, then shrugged your shoulders.

“Of course.”

“How have you been?”

“Fine—you never ask me how I’ve been,” you said, confusion laced in your voice. “What is happening? Are you sick?”

“No?”

“Are you dying?” you asked, making him roll his eyes. “It would be very thoughtless of you to die before you spend a lot of years with Lottie as a married couple, she’s very much in love with you so if you—”

“I’m not,” he cut you off. “It’s just that, Benedict mentioned a pair of unwelcomed guests.”

You pursed your lips, trying to shake off the discomfort.

“And?” you asked. “What exactly did he tell you?”

“Not much to be honest,” Anthony said with a shrug of his shoulders. “I don’t know the details nor do I need to. I just want you to know that we’re family, so whatever you need, whatever you want, just tell me, alright? No questions asked.”

You blinked a couple of times. “…Easy as that?”

“Easy as that.”

“I thought you would have a thousand questions.”

“I don’t need to hear a thousand answers to protect my family,” he stated. “You’re one of us now. We will always be there for you, no matter what.”

You blinked a couple of times, the back of your eyes burning as a warmth spread through your chest, but before you could say anything, Benedict and Lottie approached you with the lemonade bottles. Benedict pulled his brows together, then motioned between you two.

“No one appears to be stabbed,” he commented. “Is it snowing in hell?”

“Benny!” Lottie elbowed him and he repressed a grin.

“Just wondering,” he said as he held out the lemonade bottle and you took it from him. “Would you like to walk?”

“I would actually,” you said and took his hand, your heart skipping a beat as he pulled you up to your feet, but he didn’t let go of your hand contrary to before. You repressed a smile, then stole a look at Lottie’s maid before turning to Lottie and Anthony.

“Don’t do something scandalous,” you said with a grin, making Benedict chuckle and Lottie gasp, then you started walking beside Benedict.

“So Lottie finally forgave you completely,” you asked him and he nodded his head.

“Took forever but yes,” he said and cleared his throat. “She did mention that Whistledown piece though.”

You raised your brows. “…Oh.”

“I hope you know there’s nothing like that,” he said. “Margery is a very good friend of mine, not to mention I would never do that to you.”

“No I know,” you said in a hurried manner. “I mean if I’m honest, I didn’t even bring it up because it was such nonsense that I almost forgot.”

Well, that was a complete and utter lie, but lucky for you, Benedict seemed to have bought it.

“Right,” he said, nodding his head fervently. “Of course. Lady Whistledown must be running out of gossip to write about.”

“Yeah!” you forced a dry laughter. “I mean you and Margery? Honestly?”

“Unbelievable.”

You took a sip of your lemonade, then motioned between you two. “Because, you know—we’re married.”

“Happily married,” he added in a haste and you nodded.

“Albeit a bit untraditionally.”

“Well—”

“Your mother assumed I was pregnant earlier.”

Perhaps you shouldn’t have said it right when he was sipping his lemonade because he choked on it, pulling the bottle from his lips and coughing before hitting his chest.

“Oh,” he said, taking a deep breath. “And what did you say?”

“Nonexistent Bridgerton remains to be nonexistent,” you joked and scrunched up your nose. “I just said no.”

“Interesting assumption.”

“Uh huh,” you said. “Interesting and impossible at the same time.”

“I’m quite familiar with that concept,” he murmured and you frowned.

“Hm?”

“Nothing,” he said, clearing his throat. “Let’s go by the river, shall we?”

                                               *

After the park, you had decided to go to your uncle and aunt’s house to spend some time with them and Teddy. Granted you still felt on edge especially because you were very well aware of the fact that both your parents knew about their house, and Teddy living there. When you got off the carriage, you looked around and let out a relieved breath upon not seeing either of them, then made your way to the house.

Thankfully, your aunt had no idea about what happened between Benedict and your father because you had only told your uncle at the night of the ball that your father had shown up.

“I don’t know how you and Benedict did it,” your aunt told you, excitement and pride apparent in her voice as a maid brought you tea and biscuits. “But Sir Henry Granville and Lord Gordon Easton! At my ball!”

“They run in the same social circle, auntie,” you said with a small smile. “All artists do, as it turns out. Benedict introduced me to them.”

“Well everyone in my Social Picnic Club has congratulated me for throwing such a spectacular ball,” she said. “I’ve even heard some say that it would be impossible to top it off, can you believe that?”

“I absolutely can,” you said. “It was a wonderful ball, auntie. You put so much effort into it, and it paid off.”

“With your and Benedict’s contribution.”

“We barely did anything other than inviting some friends,” you said. “Will uncle be at the gentlemen’s club the whole day by the way?”

“Mm hm, he’s with his friends,” she said. “Why?”

“Oh no reason, I just thought I could see him.”

She hummed, looking at you over her teacup and you frowned.

“I know that look,” you said. “What is it?”

“Is this about…” she trailed off. “What was on Whistledown earlier?”

You let out a groan. “Auntie!”

She held up her hands, gesturing surrender.

“It was on Whistledown,” she said. “You cannot blame me for being worried.”

“Just because it’s on Whistledown doesn’t mean it’s the truth,” you said. “In fact, it couldn’t be farther away from the truth. Benedict and I are very happily married, and Margery is merely a friend.”

She raised her brows, taking another sip of her tea.

“I heard that Lady Margery is quite charming—not that she’s anywhere close to you!” she added in a haste. “You are the most charming of course.”

“More like harming,” you mused and she shot you a lighthearted glare.

“Y/N.”

“What?” you said. “Just saying.”

“Benedict is completely in love with you, we all know that,” she said. “The same with you obviously, you are very much in love with him, anyone who looks at you for more than a second could see that.”

You blinked a couple of times, shifting your weight.

“I mean I wouldn’t say—” you said with a nervous laugh. “One could assume it’s not as—”

“Obvious?” she completed your sentence for you and scoffed. “Of course it is. Have you two seen yourselves?”

You cleared your throat, then reached out to take a bite from the biscuit.

“I’m just trying to make sure these nonsense rumors do not affect you two badly, that is all,” she said and you shook your head.

“It’s not—” you started but before you could even complete your sentence, Teddy rushed into the drawing room.

“Y/N!”

“Oh hello there,” you said, opening your arms as he flung himself to you for you to hug him tight. “French lesson is over for the day?”

“Yes!” he said and you pulled back to look at him, then tilted your head at the clumsily tied cravat around his neck. You stole a look at your aunt who looked like she was trying her hardest to keep a straight face, and turned to Teddy.

“What is this?”

“It’s a cravat!” he said, excitement laced in his tone. “Benedict always wears them, did you notice that?”

You bit back at smile. “Oh does he?”

“He does!”

“And now you’re…wearing cravats?”

He nodded, his eyes sparkling.

“I want them in different colors because Benedict has them in different colors, I told uncle and he said he would get me many,” he said. “This is uncle’s as well, you see.”

Your lips curled upwards. “Ah?” you said. “And you chose a green one for today?”

“It’s pale green!”

“Pale green, my apologies.”

“It’s alright, auntie told me it was pale green,” he patted your hand as if trying to console you. “We can learn those together.”

You nodded solemnly.

“That would be wonderful,” you said, reminding yourself not to laugh. “And you chose pale green because…?”

“Benedict was wearing a pale green cravat the other day,” he said, proud of himself for remembering it and you pinched his cheek.

“It looks wonderful on you Teddy.”  

“Really?”

You kissed the top of his hair. “Really,”

“He is growing up so fast,” your aunt said, shaking her head with a smile. “I fear I will blink and he will be a gentleman of the ton.”

You let out a laugh and Teddy took a sharp breath.

“Y/N, I will show you my new sculptures!” he said, tugging you by the hand. “I made a dozen of them, come and see!”

“Am I allowed to boast about how I was the first one to see them when you’re a famous sculptor?”

“Yes!”

“I’ll be back auntie,” you said with a grin and stood up, letting Teddy lead you out of the room.

                                             *

You had spent more time in your uncle’s house than originally planned. Your uncle insisted you stayed for dinner, so you sent Benedict a short note to let him know, inviting him as well but he politely declined, saying that he was in the middle of a painting. After dinner, Teddy showed you how he made some of his sculptures the way Benedict had shown him so by the time you left there, it was already near midnight and raining. A carriage went past your carriage a minute before you arrived home, making you frown and look over your shoulder, but you didn’t have the time to dwell on it much before your carriage entered through the gates and stopped in front of your house. The coachman helped you out and you thanked him, then rushed home to get away from the rain.

“Ma’am,” the housekeeper greeted you and you smiled at her.

“Hello,” you said as a maid took your cloak. “Oh I must change my clothes, it’s raining like crazy outside! Is Paula asleep?”

“No ma’am, I’m here,” Paula said as she rushed to you and you shot her an apologetic grin.

“Please tell me you did not stay up for me.”

“Alright, I will not,” she said and you let out a giggle, then started walking upstairs with her.

“I don’t know where this storm came from, honestly…” you mused, turning the corner in the hallway before peeking at the other end of it where Benedict’s studio was, but there was no light coming from there. “Is Benedict asleep?”

Paula didn’t answer you so you turned your head to look at her better.

“Is Benedict asleep?” you asked again, thinking she didn’t hear you and she shifted her weight.

“No he’s not, ma’am.”

You stopped walking, a frown pinching your brows together.

“Oh?” you said. “Where is he?”

Paula averted her gaze, making your frown deeper.

“Paula?” you said. “What is happening?”

“N—nothing, ma’am.”

“No, something is happening,” you said. “What is it? Has he gone outside or something?”

“He’s home, ma’am.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Where?”

“He is still in the greenhouse I think,” she said, still not looking you in the eye and you blinked a couple of times.

“Greenhouse?”  you asked, “Benedict isn’t the gardening type, what is he doing in the greenhouse?”

“They went there earlier, ma’am.”

“They?” you repeated. “Who’s they?”

“Mr. Bridgerton and Lady Margery.”

Your head shot up, your heart dropping to your stomach.

“…I’m sorry?”

“Lady Margery came here an hour after your note saying you would be late arrived,” Paula said in a breath, “She left in her carriage just now, but they both went to the greenhouse straight away when she got here.”

It felt as if the hallway was spinning around you, the fire of fury spreading through your veins.

You had to have been an idiot for not listening to Lady Whistledown’s damn gossip, because apparently Benedict wasted not even a second to prove to you she was right. He was in fact sleeping around just as the rumors said, with Margery, right under your nose in the greenhouse he knew you never stepped foot into ever since you had moved here.

You spun around on your heels to go down the hallway where you came from, then rushed downstairs, your heels echoing on the marble floor. You passed through the foyer, then made your way to the back entrance that led to the backyard where the greenhouse was, but before you could reach there, Benedict stepped inside through the door, a look of surprise crossing his face as soon as he saw you.

“Y/N?”

You passed by him without even acknowledging him, your teeth clenched in anger.

“Wait, where are you—?” he started but you stepped outside into the heavy rain, and strode across the backyard, Benedict catching up with you in seconds.

“Where are you going?”

“Greenhouse,” you spat as the lightning struck in the sky and he stopped dead in his spot for a second before rushing to catch up with you.

“No you can’t—”

“Why not?” you asked through the boom of the thunder, “Can I not see your bachelor’s flat you so conveniently and disrespectfully put near my home?”

He frowned as if he was confused.

“My what?” he asked but you scoffed and kept walking, your head almost pounding from anger. “Y/N no, that’s not—”

“I’m such an idiot,” you said, shaking your head. “To think I was telling everyone Whistledown’s gossip was nonsense while you brought your fucking mistress here the moment you heard I would be late…”

“What?” he asked, shock apparent in his voice as you approached the greenhouse and reached out to hold the handle but he grabbed at your upper arm. “Y/N, just wait a moment—”

You could swear your vision went red as you yanked your arm out of his grip.

“You do not touch me!” you snapped. “I never want to see you ever again, do you hear me? I will apply for divorce tomorrow morning, I will—”

You stopped talking the second you slammed open the greenhouse door, your breath getting caught in your throat as you blinked a couple of times, trying to understand whether you were seeing was in fact real.

You had refused to enter the greenhouse just like you had refused to garden when you and Benedict got married and moved here, and before that, you had seen maybe only five greenhouses in total but none of them looked like this. The large greenhouse looked as if someone had plucked it out of a painting and brought it into life somehow, and you felt your body move on its own accord as you took a step inside almost in a haze. It was entirely made of glass with the plants covering the walls –ivy, if you weren’t mistaken- with a sharp arch on the high ceiling. Even under the moonlight, you could tell the various flowers surrounding you were not among those you could find in anyone’s garden, yours included. It looked so magical that for a couple of seconds you could only stand there and stare with your jaw hanging before approaching a Venus Flytrap, still breathing hard.

“I don’t…” you stammered. “What is this?”

“Well,” Benedict said, leaning back to one of the glass walls. “For starters, it’s not my bachelor’s flat because I don’t have one. It was supposed to be a surprise for tomorrow, I figured you could see it better in the sunlight.”

You blinked a couple of times, then turned to look at him. “But Margery—”

“Has been helping me prepare this, along with Mr. Binsted,” Benedict motioned around you. “They know the rare flowers better than I do. I was going to bring you here once it was completed, took more time than I thought it would. I figured since you were outside, it would be easier for the finishing touch. Like I said, I was going to show you tomorrow now that it’s complete.”

You swallowed thickly, all the fury leaving your body as disbelief took over.

“Complete?” you repeated and Benedict offered you a small smile, then nodded towards the center of the glass wall you were close to, making you turn your head to look at the shelf. The lightning struck the sky again, illuminating the whole greenhouse and you took a sharp breath as soon as your eyes fell on the flower.

Middlemist Red.

You had only seen it in the drawings on your plant books, but having spent over a decade wishing you could see it in real life, you would have recognized it anywhere. You weren’t even aware that Benedict had made a mental note of your favorite flower considering you had told him about it only once so many months ago and it was supposed to be impossible to even find it to gaze upon, let alone having it for yourself, for your own greenhouse.

And somehow Benedict had found it and brought it to you.

“It’s not possible,” you rasped out, still unable to look away from the flower. “It’s—it’s impossible to find Middlemist Red, everyone knows that. It’s the rarest flower in the world.”

“I actually sent word around after you told me about it back at the flower exhibit,” he said, making your head turn. “No one knew where to get it but Margery knows someone who knows someone who—well, you get the picture. At first it was just the Middlemist Red, but then we got married and I know you love flowers so I figured maybe you’d like to have all the rare flowers in a place that belonged to you, so…” he motioned around you. “The greenhouse that is.”

You swallowed thickly, still staring at him, both of you completely drenched with the rain pitter pattering against the glass walls.

“It was just a bud at first, the Middlemist,” he added, taking a step toward you. “And apparently you need to be very careful during that period so we had to wait around two months, and they sent it when it bloomed with a gardener who took care of it on the way here, and you obviously would have seen it if you were here so we took it to Margery’s house, and she brought it here and I—”

“You had someone grow the rarest flower in the world and then had it brought here just because I told you it was my favorite flower?” you cut him off, your heart beating in your throat, all your body warm despite the storm outside and he nodded.

“I know you said you wouldn’t garden but when you want to, it’ll all be here,” he said. “I actually have people building a greenhouse back at the country house as we speak, I figured you would want one there as well and—”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence when you rushed into his arms and pulled him down to crash your lips against his, standing on your tiptoes. Your head was spinning with excitement, the fire engulfing you in its flames once more like it had when he kissed you for the first time that night. He cradled the back of your head, pressing your body closer to his while you melted into his touch and it felt as if you two were the only people left in the world, as if the storm somehow took everything and everyone away but you two.

But much to your displeasure he pulled back, drawing a petulant whine from your lips.

“I can’t,” he stepped back, making you blink dumbly in confusion at just how tormented he looked. “You have no idea how much I want to but I told you before, I will not touch you until you—”

“I love you,” you cut him off, still trying to catch your breath and the lightning lit inside the greenhouse once again, letting you see the absolute shock on his handsome face. You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, then shrugged your shoulders.

“I tempted fate just a little too much it seems,” you tried to joke. “I do – I love you. More than I thought it was possible, more than you could possibly know.”

The thunder boomed through the greenhouse and you took a deep breath, nervousness pulsing through you as the words left your lips.

“So, my heart is yours,” you managed to say, shifting your weight. “If you’ll have it.”

Benedict let out a breath, then strode to you to pull you into a kiss, taking your breath away. The feeling was so intoxicating that every single fear, every ounce of nervousness washed away from your mind until the only thing remained was him, and his burning touch, his lips on yours. He lifted you up, letting you wrap your legs around his waist without breaking the kiss and pressed you back to the wall, making you let out a squeal upon feeling the rustle of the ivy leaves behind you, one of the pots slipping a little on the shelf when you accidentally hit it with your elbow.

“No, not the flowers!” you exclaimed with a giggle. “Careful with the flowers!”

“Right, the flowers—” he let out a laugh and turned around with you still in his arms, then laid you down on the floor, his lips brushing yours again. You pushed his drenched shirt off of his body, dragging your fingertips over his chiseled torso, the fire of desire burning through your whole body. He looked so mesmerizing under the moonlight that for a moment you could do nothing but stare at him while he leaned on his forearm, his body covering yours, his hand going to your cheekbone to caress it gently.

“We can stop anytime you want, my love,” he murmured, his words making your heart feel like warm honey in your chest. “You know that, do you not?”

You bit back a smile, then leaned up to brush your lips against his.

“Benedict,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “Don’t you dare stop.”

Chapter 37

#benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x reader #bridgerton #bridgerton x reader #regency fic

[wonusite]

Glacial Pace

❝ You’ve been in love with Xu Minghao from the moment he put a bandage on your cut at the age of six. When he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend to get his prying family off his back, you quickly realize that keeping your feelings hidden from him will be next to impossible. Especially since your meddling friends are determined to have you admit your feelings before the holiday season is over. ❞

pairing: xu minghao x female reader

genre: fake dating au, friends to lovers, fluff, smut

word count: 5.3k

warnings: fake dating, meddling friends (they mean well i swear), mutual pining, moms saved this fic, lots of repressed feelings, unprotected sex, soft sex, creampie, cockwarming

a/n: this is part of the snowventeen collab! so happy to have been part of it! minors dni.

“We’re friends, right?”

You try to pretend the question doesn’t send you into a vague panic. Every time this question that isn’t really a question comes out of Minghao's mouth, you know he’s setting up to ask you for a favor. Judging by his tone you can tell that what he’s going to ask probably isn’t something easy, but because you were just slightly in love with him, it was foreseeable that you were going to agree to do whatever he asked of you.

“Yes, Hao. We’re friends.”

As much as you wished there was something more, that was the extent of your relationship. But that was fine. The heartbreak had dulled with the years.

“And friends help each other, right?”

You give Minghao an exasperated look. It’s not like him to beat around the bush for long, but he seems oddly reluctant this time. Even so, he doesn’t visibly show it. He leans further into the mountain of pillows you have on your bed with a subtle pout on his lips. You shouldn’t find the old hoodie and worn jeans he’s wearing this attractive, but Minghao always has a way of looking amazing in everything he wears.

“Are you gonna tell me what you want, or are you gonna keep asking me questions you already know the answers to?” You finally say, hoping you’re able to successfully hide how attracted you are to him.

“I need your help.” Before you could ask him what he needed from you this time, Minghao is sitting up and shoving his phone into your hands. “Read that.”

His phone is unlocked and opened to a group chat with what appears to be the majority of his extended family. You skim through the messages, trying desperately to hold back the amused smile on the edge of your lips.

Minghao frowns when you don’t immediately freak out. You were the one person he could count on to be on his side, but right now you don’t seem to think what his family is demanding of him is outrageous. He keeps staring at you, still waiting for you to give him the response he was expecting.

You look up from the screen, unable to keep the laughter out of your voice. “How does your aunt know you’ve been abstinent for a year?”

Minghao’s right eye twitches slightly as he snatches his phone back from you. “That’s all you have to say?”

“What else do you want me to say? That you’re the worst liar ever?” You laugh to distract yourself from the stuffy feeling growing in your chest.

At least, you hope what Minghao said to his family is a lie. After all these years, you still hadn’t managed to completely block out the feelings that came with being in love with Xu Minghao. All you can do is hope none of the tormenting feelings consuming you show on your face.

“Unless you are dating someone.”

Somehow, you manage to pretend that the very thought doesn’t sting as much as it does.

“You know I’m not.” Minghao scowls at you. “But that’s not the point. You have to help me because now they think I’m gonna bring someone home for winter break!”

It’s embarrassing how fast the knot in your chest dissolves. You take a mental deep breath and focus on giving Minghao the help he wants. “Just say your girlfriend is gonna visit her own family, or that she’s not ready to meet them yet.”

Minghao looks like he’s two seconds away from bursting a vein, but you aren’t entirely sure why. He was capable of being a master manipulator whenever he wanted to. A lie of this magnitude was something he could easily manage. It’s not like he hadn’t done it before. Still, part of you is sympathetic since your own mother had sent you a series of similar messages.

“My mom is already getting the cabin ready. It’s too late to back out now!”

This wouldn’t seem like a big deal, but you knew Minghao’s mom. She was the sweetest lady ever except when someone made her angry or disobeyed her. That’s why whenever she decided something, no one dared to go against her wishes or question her. Whatever she said was law. At least, in the Xu household it was.

“I don’t know how you expect me to help you. Your mom loves me, but even I can’t save you if she finds out you lied to her—”

“She won’t find out.” Minghao suddenly becomes unsettlingly calm. “Not when I tell her I’m dating you.”

By some sort of divine grace, you manage to not choke on your own spit. Instead you blink slowly, trying to pretend that his words don’t awaken something into you that is definitely not platonic.

“That won’t work!” You sound borderline hysterical. “She’ll definitely know you’re lying if you say I’m the girlfriend told her about!”

Minghao’s plan isn’t actually half bad, but you’re desperate to find an excuse not to help him. There’s no way you can pretend to date the man you’ve been in love with for literal decades without unintentionally revealing your feelings.

“No she won’t! Do you know how long she’s wanted me to ask you out?” Minghao says, the desperation pushing him to accidentally reveal a detail he would’ve otherwise kept to himself.

You try not to be too happy that his mom likes the idea of you two together while also ignoring the faint blush rising to his face. Instead, you focus on trying to weasel your way out of helping him.

“My mom will find out I lied if I bring home some random who barely knows anything about me.” You’re running out of legitimate reasons to say no, and before you can think up some plausible excuse Minghao pouts at you. “Please? I can’t ask anyone else to do help me. It has to be you.”

You know he says these words in a completely platonic you’re my friend so I trust you kind of way, but your stupid idealistic heart can’t help but be moved by them. And so, you say the words you know you’ll regret, but will make your friend very happy.

“Okay. I’ll be your fake girlfriend.”

“At this point you should just confess."

Seungcheol is usually a pretty sensible guy, but this is hands down the worst advice you had ever gotten from him. And the fact that both Josh and Wonwoo are nodding their heads in agreement makes you think that they’ve all lost their minds.

“Cheol’s not wrong.” Josh says, a teasing lilt in his voice. “It’s been years, and you haven’t even fucked him yet!”

The scowl on your face deepens. “Shut up. You’re the one who said I should move on. How do you expect me to do that if I fuck him?”

“How are you going to move on if you’re spending all your entire winter break pretending to be his girlfriend and lying to both of your families?” Wonwoo wonders with an amused look on his face.

You feel your face get hot, because yeah, it wasn't your best plan, and it did seem like it was a step backward in moving on, but details. “I’m just helping him! After this I’m going to go out and get a real boyfriend.”

Your friends share an unconvinced look. Seungcheol is the first to break the silence, signature deadpan expression in place. “So, acting out your fantasy of dating Minghao is going to help you get over him? Explain to us how that works.”

Now that it’s said out loud, you realize it sounds kind of stupid. Even so, you can’t very well tell Minghao that you don’t want to help him anymore. “Okay, so maybe it’s not the best plan, but since you guys are coming you have to help me so I don’t get too sucked into my role and expose myself.”

Your friends agree, but what you don’t realize is that they have a plan of their own to help you get what you want.

If your friends thought they were being subtle, they weren’t.

You noticed right away that they were nudging you and Minghao together. This was all under the excuse of helping you two get into your little act before reaching the small town you two grew up in. At first you didn’t say anything because you more than likely would’ve ended up sitting by Minghao anyway, but it was only until they started insisting you two hold on to each other and hold hands that you had enough.

As soon as Seungcheol pulled into the gas station and Minghao went inside with Wonwoo, you smacked the back of his and Josh’s heads. “What the fuck are you guys doing!?” You hiss, digging your nails into your palm.

Seungcheol glares at you, an expression of disbelief on his face. “You asked for our help! Doing all this cringy shit will turn you off from wanting to be in a relationship with Minghao!”

“And once you see how clueless he is at being in a relationship it’ll turn you off even more!” Josh chimes in as he rubs the back of his head.

Their words sound so utterly ridiculous and like a clear form of gaslighting. You don’t get a chance to say anything else because you see Wonwoo and Minghao on their way back.

“You guys aren’t helping so stop.” You hiss before the door is pulled open.

Luckily your friends say nothing as Minghao gets back into the car. You think that’s the end of it, but you’re very very wrong.

It’s not until you’re pulling into the driveway of the large cabin with two nosy families waiting outside that you belatedly realize that you’ve made a huge mistake.

You didn’t fully think out what helping Minghao really meant. Sure, you had known that you were going to be forced to confront Minghao’s nosy family, but you forgot to add your own prying family to the mix. You only hope that they don’t mention how you’ve been in love with your (fake) boyfriend for the two last decades.

You’re met with loud greetings, and soon enough dozens of people start to crowd the car as you all get off. It’s almost like you’re in a daze when you get pulled into ten different hugs in the span of thirty seconds, but it’s oddly comforting. Despite the situation, you had missed home and were happy to be back.

Somehow you manage to get away long enough to grab your things from the trunk. You’re hoping that everything goes smoothly as you start to make your way to the Xu family’s cabin, but as always, luck isn’t on your side.

“I got it, love.” Minghao says as he forcibly takes your bags from you, but not before pressing a chaste kiss on your lips.

Vaguely, you recognize the loud shrieking of the children that saw your kiss and the cooing from the older women who loved young romance. But even through all that, you manage to see your idiot friends colluding with proud smirks on their faces.

Wonwoo is the one they send to approach you, but he expectedly doesn’t repent for what he and the two other fools clearly made happen. “If you plan on deceiving both of your families, you have to stop acting like you’ve never kissed Minghao before.”

With that, he gently pushes you to join everyone else inside. You can’t be fully angry because his words are infuriatingly true. Luckily for you, everyone seemed to be too caught up in the holiday cheer to notice your little slip up.

“Why didn’t you tell me you finally bagged my cousin!?”

You look over to see one of Minghao’s older cousins grinning at you. It’s a relief to see her because in all the madness, she was usually the voice of reason. That and she was the one who kept your hidden love a secret the longest out of everyone who knew.

“Sorry! It all happened so fast, and we didn’t want to say anything in case it didn’t work out—”

“Trust me, I get it. Remember when I had to tell everyone about Jun at my graduation?”

You both laugh as you recall the time she had dropped the atomic bomb that she was living with Minghao’s childhood best friend at her graduation party.

“How long are you going to be here until you finally say hello to your mother?”

Minghao’s cousin gives you a sympathetic wave goodbye as your mom pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. You snuggle into her familiar warmth, hoping her embrace can provide you with the comfort you’re suddenly needing.

“Why was I the last to find out you’re finally dating Minghao?” She demands straight away after you pull back.

You apologize profusely, repeating the same excuse you gave Minghao’s cousin. That seems to placate her—for now—but she does insist on hearing every last detail about how you two got together. It’s both relieving and nerve wracking.

“I’m sure you’re happy. You’ve liked him since he helped you back home when you fell on the sidewalk.” Your mom recalls with a smile. “That race car bandaid he put on the cut meant so much to you, remember? You wouldn’t let me replace it—”

“Mom.” You quietly stress, frantically looking around to see if anyone had heard her. “You better not mention any of that! I promise I’ll tell you everything later, but right now please don’t embarrass me!”

She only looks at you with an amused glint in her eye. “Fine, but you’ll have to have that conversation with him sooner or later.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she was working with your no-good friends.

Your mom would’ve interrogated you further had it not been for the fact that she saw Joshua talking to Minghao’s mom. She barely told you she’d be back as she went straight for the boy who’d captured her heart back in your freshman year of college.

You slightly jump when a pair of arms gently wrap around you. Minghao’s cologne is engraved in your mind at this point, and you actually hate the fact that it comforts you.

“You have to act more natural.” His voice is teasing. “Otherwise everyone will think my love is one-sided.”

You manage to let out a weak laugh. It was clear that you were too in your head about the entire situation, and it was also clear that you were about to unintentionally reveal the feelings you’d worked so hard to hide.

“Just relax.” His lips brush the shell of your ear. “Moms are happy and busy trying to find out why sweet ol’ Shua still doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

The laugh you let out is louder and more genuine, and Minghao feels an intense warmth spread through his chest at the pretty sound. When you turn around in his arms to look straight at him, he wonders if this is all some lovely dream. If it is, he hopes he never has to wake up.

“Come on. Let’s go check out our room.”

He smiles broadly when he grabs your hand and let yourself be whisked away.

“You’re enjoying yourself a little too much.”

Minghao’s fond smile slowly slips off his face when he’s confronted by a smirking Seungcheol. He clears his throat and squints his eyes at his friend. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You hate ice skating.” Cheol points out. “But you’re having the time of your life just watching Y/N do it.”

He can’t deny this because there’s just something about the happy grin on your face as you beat Wonwoo and two of your cousins at a race around the rink for the fifth time that makes him feel an intense amount of affection and joy.

“She makes it look fun.” Minghao says honestly, not willing to reveal the other part why he feels so endeared.

Seungcheol hums, finding it extremely amusing how both you and Minghao were so unwilling to admit what was so obvious to everyone else. “I bet she’d have even more fun if you got out there with her.”

There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach when he hears his friend’s tone. At that moment, it becomes clear that Seungcheol is very much aware of what Minghao thought he’d been so good at hiding.

“Hao!” A comforting voice calls.

You’re gliding towards him with a bright smile on your face, and despite the nerves eating at his gut, he manages to return it.

“Come skate with me.”

It’s almost comedic how quick he is to obey your wish. He ignores the whistles and hollers from his friends as he literally clings on to you the second he’s on the ice. Your honeyed laugh is all that’s calming him at the moment since he’s feels like he might fall flat on his face on the hard ice.

“Don’t be so scared.” You say as you move at a snail's pace. “I won’t let you fall.”

Minghao’s heart starts pounding for an entirely different reason. Instead of staring down at his trembling legs, he’s focused on you and the warmth coming from your hands. Your grip tightens as you slowly increase your pace. It’s like you two are in your own little world as you laugh and glide around the ice.

You both are on a blissful high even when you return to the cabin. Surprisingly enough, it feels completely normal for you two to get into bed together, wrapped up in each other’s arms—just in case someone were to surprise you in the morning, of course.

There’s this natural domesticity between you two, but you’re just convinced that Minghao is just so desperate to get his family off his back that he’s putting his heart and soul into this act. It’s fine, well, it’s mostly fine. Even though everything up to this point has been fake, you’re still happy that you got to live out your deepest fantasy. Now you could move on, painful as it may be.

You try not to think about that as you walk into the holiday party hand in hand with Minghao.

The atmosphere is warm and welcoming like it is every year. You try to pretend that you don’t want to let go of Minghao’s hand when his mother steals you away to help her in the kitchen. This was it. You know she doesn’t really need your help when she asks you to neatly place the cookies she’s baked on a large plate. She’s called you in to question you about your relationship with her son. Honestly, you were surprised she hadn’t done it sooner.

“I’ve never seen my son so happy.” She begins, a gentle smile on her face. “I’m glad he finally made you his girlfriend. I thought he’d never confess his feelings.”

You wonder if Minghao’s mom is being serious, but then you remember who you’re talking to. She’s not the type to spare feelings, not even yours.

“Why’d you think that?”

“Honey, I love you, but you’re really oblivious sometimes.” She laughs fondly. “My son has liked you for a long time. Do you know how heartbroken he was when you started dating that Jihoon boy? I thought he’d never get over it.”

Lee Jihoon? As in the guy you dated two years ago?

“But I’m glad to see that you finally like him in the way he likes you.”

You try to keep a straight face as if your mind isn’t now overcrowded with unfiltered thoughts. The way your heart is pounding against your chest is almost dizzying. “I think I like him more than he likes me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Minghao’s mom says with a sly grin that you recognize all too well. “While we’re on the topic, let me enlighten you—”

Meanwhile, Minghao is busy with your mom. A similar conversation is taking place—so similar that anyone might’ve thought the two women had planned it.

“You don’t know how happy I am that you and Y/N are finally together.” Her warm smile makes him feel a bit guilty.

“Finally?” Minghao laughs curiously.

“Yes, finally. I was starting to think you’d never return my daughter’s feelings.”

Minghao feels his heart pounding and his head swimming almost like he’s suddenly disoriented. Surely there’s no way your mom could be implying that…?

“You didn’t?”

Oblivious to Minghao’s sudden shift in attitude, your mom keeps talking. “Y/N has always loved you. I think it started around the time you moved into the neighborhood all those years ago. She would go around saying how she wanted to marry you.”

Minghao is physically unable to say anything, but that doesn’t matter to your mom. She carries on like he’s not on the verge of imploding.

“I remember how devastated she was when you took Chaeyoung to prom instead of her. She had turned down that nice boy from her math class because she hoped you would ask her. I’ve never seen her cry so much.”

Your mom sounds like she’s fondly recalling the past, but Minghao feels like he suddenly can’t breathe. The memory is vivid in his mind now. You hadn’t gone even when he insisted that you could go with him and Chaeyoung. Back then he had believed you when you told him you didn’t feel like going.

“Anyway, I’m glad you finally returned her feelings.”

“Yeah.” Minghao says feeling completely winded. “Me too.”

There’s an unspoken tension when you and Minghao get back to the cabin. You’re sure it’s purely because of you and what his mom had said. It’s obvious that you’re too in your head because you can tell your friend feels tense.

“What did my mom tell you?”

The question startles you out of your tormenting thoughts. You awkwardly stutter, wondering if you should lie or not. “I– Well—”

Minghao is staring at you intently, and you know there’s no point in lying to him.

“She told me that she’s happy you finally confessed to me.” Your voice isn’t as strong as you wish so you cover it up with a laugh. “I guess I was worried for nothing. She thinks you actually like me.”

It’s silent for a moment before Minghao speaks, serious as ever. “I do like you.”

You wish you could play his words off like they meant nothing, but you had been waiting literal years to hear him say those three little words, and you can’t pretend to be unaffected by them.

“I’ve liked you for a long time.” Minghao says as he slowly approaches you.

He’s standing directly in front of you now, and you’re not sure how to react. His eyes are shining with unadulterated affection as he waits for your response. Your head is spinning, but you still manage to answer him.

“I’ve liked you longer.”

Your face burns with embarrassment. It’s not like you meant to say that, but your nerves got the best of you. It doesn’t matter though because Hao seems to love it. His grin is full of endearment.

“Long enough to want to marry me?” He teases lightly.

Apparently, neither of your moms had any actual intention of keeping your embarrassing secrets. You soldier on and try to pretend you’re not mortified that your mom exposed you.

“I don’t know. I can’t marry someone who doesn’t know how to please me.”

His eyes darken instantly, and you hold back a smirk at how easily that worked him up. By now, Minghao has gotten so close that you can see every last detail on his face.

You’re not sure who makes the first move, but it hardly matters because Minghao’s lips are so soft, and the way he’s kissing you makes you feel like you’re floating. The way he pulls you closer while shoving his tongue in your mouth is dizzying.

Everything happens so fast. Before you know it clothes are being ripped off in between messy, wet kisses. You two fall on the bed, naked bodies pressing against each other with a passionate need. Minghao pulls back and cups your cheek tenderly. He affectionately bumps his nose against yours before he kisses you again.

Minghao’s hands feel hot as they trail down your body. His long fingers trail over your every curve, hands pressing against your breasts, pulling lightly at your nipples until he has you moaning into his mouth. It’s his favorite sound, he decides. He can’t contain his grin as he continues kneading your tits.

“Hao.” You mewl when his lips start to wander down your neck, affectionately tracing along your jaw and the column of your throat.

His dark hooded eyes are so pretty when they look up at you. Minghao only offers you an impish grin before he wraps his lips around your hard bud and sucks hard. He licks and bites around your nipple until you’re writhing underneath him, an intense heat building between your thighs as you tug at his hair. His dark strands are even messier than usual when he pulls off your nipple, but not before leaning down to press one more kiss to the soft curve of your tit.

Minghao trails his fingers down your sides, his teasing smirk back in place. “Want me to fuck you?”

There are times you hate his teasing nature. He must know how bad you want him since you’re literally dripping all over the sheets. However, since you’re so desperate, you’re not beneath begging.

“I need you to fuck me.” You say, not the slightest bit embarrassed.

There’s a slight pause where something in the atmosphere shifts to something more heavy.

Now Minghao’s gaze is heavy with affection as his thumb caresses your cheek. “I wasn’t completely honest before. What I feel for you... it’s more than that.” Minghao swallows deeply, feeling like his heart jumped into his throat. “I love you.”

His abrupt confession warms you up from the inside out. You can literally feel your entire chest be overcome with deep, unadulterated love as he nudges the fat tip of his cock against your fluttering cunt.

You wrap your arms around his slim waist and gently pull him closer, silently urging him to shove his dick inside you. “I love you too, Hao.”

The words are whispered against his lips before you capture them in an intimate kiss. You both swallow each other’s moans as he finally eases his thick cock into your dripping pussy.

Minghao lets out a gasp as he shoves his face into the crook of your neck. He starts to press hot, open mouthed kisses against your skin, loving the little whimpers and moans you’re letting out. His cock is stretching you out, and it feels like you might fall apart as his fingers trail down your body to rub your clit. Minghao rubs you deliciously as he keeps easing into you.

Pleasure licks up Minghao’s cock when your hot cunt clamps down on him like it never wants to let him go. He hisses at your choked mewl, loving how you seem to melt into his touch.

“So tight, baby.” Minghao’s words are slightly slurred.

You moan wantonly when he finally shoves the remainder of his thick cock inside your welcoming cunt. Already, you’re gushing around him. His entire length and heavy balls are coated with your arousal as he finally settles deep inside you.

The feeling of your velvety walls sucking in his fat cock has Minghao groaning against you. His arms slide underneath you and wrap around your waist to lift your hips and pull you tighter against him. Minghao’s soft lips trail against your skin as he starts to fuck into you, the tip of his cock hitting your sweet spot.

You’re both entranced with each other, and at some point you two look down to watch where Minghao’s cock fucks into you. The pretty moans and whimpers spilling from your lips only spur him on, wanting to hear you as much as possible since this still feels like a beautiful dream to him.

“God,” you moan when he gives a particularly sharp thrust. “Feels so fucking good.”

Minghao’s hand grabs the underside of your knee and lifts your leg over his hip at your words. You both moan loudly because the new angle has his cock going impossibly deeper. Right then he knows that he won’t ever get sick of the feeling of your tight pussy milking him.

“Fuck, baby. I’ll never get enough of you.” Minghao moans as he leans down to kiss you again.

The feeling of his lips pressed against your as his cock drills into you makes you feel drunk. Minghao feels like he’s slowly unraveling with that way you start to fuck your hips up to meet his thrusts. Your creamy cunt clamping down on him has him fucking into you harder.

It’s safe to say Minghao is obsessed with every last bit of you. The way your body feels pressed against his, the pretty sounds you let out, the feeling of your warm wet cunt squeezing him like it wants every last drop of his cum.

You moan louder when you feel your legs being spread apart. Minghao is roughly fucking into you at a savage pace now, his weeping tip slamming against your sweet spot with every thrust. He loves how your eyes are rolling to the back of your head as your thigh tremble and shake. Your sweet cunt is spasming around his dick, and he knows it won’t be long until you’re creaming all over him.

A sense of urgency suddenly overcomes Minghao. To see you falling apart under him would be a dream come true, and he’s just that much more motivated to make it a reality. His next touches are sensual and tender, fingers caressing your clit over and over as his cock fucks into you and works you open.

It doesn’t take much longer for you to gush all over him. The sight of your head thrown back with your mouth dropped open to let out a blissful moan of his name is addicting. Minghao wants your fucked out expression imprinted in his mind. He doesn’t stop his motions because the feeling of you coming on his dick is absolute heaven.

Your mind is still fuzzy from your orgasm, but you’re lucid enough to see the purest form of love in his honeyed eyes. “Fuck. I love you so much.”

Your words have him stilling his hips, head falling to the crook of your neck as he comes hard. Minghao cries out your name, voice thick with affection. You smooth over your hair as you whisper gentle praises in his ear. He ruts inside you in pleasure as his hot cum fills you to the brim, showing you exactly just how much love he has for you.

After a moment, Minghao pulls his face out of your neck to look down at you. Unadulterated joy and ecstasy covers his face as he takes you in as if for the first time all over again. Your expression is no different, all the repressed emotions you held for him on full display now.

Minghao grinds into you one more times, eyes rolling to the back of his head at the feeling of his cum being fucked back inside of you. He leans forward, lips brushing against the soft flesh of your cheek. “I love you more than anything.”

He collapses by your side, cock still nestled inside you. The words make your heart flutter as you tug him impossibly closer and nuzzle against him.

“I love you too, Hao. Forever and always.”

Your sleepy smile makes him press a kiss to your forehead. Minghao watches as your eyes slowly close before tightening his hold on you. He can’t believe this is all real and not just a figment of his deepest desires, but as you unconsciously snuggle deeper into him, he knows that he’ll never be happier than he is now, with you.

It’s his last peaceful thought as he falls asleep with you in his arms.

“This is your fault.” Josh glares at Seungcheol who is trying but failing to eat his cereal in peace.

“You’re the one who went along with the plan which clearly worked.”

The loud moans filling the cabin are sickening, and they wonder if they’ve played themselves by helping you and Minghao confess to each other.

“Wonwoo isn’t bothered.” Seungcheol says as he nods his head to the catlike guy who’s sitting on the couch, staring at his phone.

“You know he’s wearing noise canceling earphones, right?” Josh scoffs.

Now Seungcheol feels really stupid because it was clear that they really had played themselves. And all because you and Minghao had to take your relationship at a glacial pace.

taglist: @duolingofanaccount @felix-3002 @junhui-recs @asjkdk @dani41 @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @ohwonwoo @dokwiyomie

#minghao smut #svt smut #svthub.collab #svthub #svt x reader #minghao x reader #svt x you #minghao x you #seventeen smut #minghao fanfic #svt fanfic #svt fic #minghao fic #seventeen fanfic

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LOVE IS THE MOST TWISTED CURSE OF THEM ALL

Part 9

Gojo Satoru x Fem! Reader

Part 10 here ✨🆕

Check out part 8 here if you missed it.

A/n: I'm back with another long chapter, grab a snack and a warm blanket and your headphones 🎧 . This story is ticking closer to its ending, i hope you enjoy this part as well 💖.

Your feedback is highly appreciated ✨🫶🏻.

Music suggestion ♪:

Dove Cameron - Boyfriend & The Weeknd - House Of Balloons.

W.c: 5.2k+ not proofread

Fuming with anger, his chest tightening. You and Nanami hadn’t notice him but he couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t bear to linger in your and Nanami’s presence a moment longer or he might not be able to control his shit. Hurriedly, he made his way through the dimly lit hallway to the bathroom, his steps heavy with frustration.

Once inside the bathroom, Gojo leaned over the sink, aggressively splashing cold water on his face attempting to repress the rising tide of his emotions. As the water flown on his face and chest, closing his eyes for the cold sensation to take him, your smile whenever you talked to your students, your laugh whenever Yuuji cracked a joke, the sparkle in your eyes whenever you explained new techniques and moves to your class, the hair strands falling on your face while you slept peacefully. But alongside those beautiful memories lingered the image of you and Nanami a few moments ago, your face inches away from each other as if you were gonna kiss, the way Nanami treated you with gentleness, with love and respect as if he’s your husband and not Gojo. A pang of envy ate him up from the inside. Also remembering how you and Nanami were so casually discussing how he had to kill his only bestfriend, it was too much to handle in only one night.

Clenching his fists, with a sudden burst of emotions, he slammed his hand against the wall, inches away from the mirror. The sharp sting of pain momentarily distracted him from his thoughts.

Alone, looking at his reflection in the mirror, struggling to make sense of the conflicting emotions that swirled within him.

“No it can’t be! I’m not jealous! I hate her…”

Longing, jealousy, deep-seated sense of inadequacy and emptiness. Being the strongest comes with a high cost; being lonely.

With a deep breath, after composing himself in the bathroom, Satoru splashed his face once more with water before turning to leave. As he exited, his mind still racing, he bumped into someone,

“Gojo? What a surprise!”

“Mei Mei?”

She stood before him with a sly, her eyes gleaming with mischief as she scanned his face. Trying her best to catch his attention with the lingerie she was wearing, seductively touching her neck.

“Couldn’t sleep Gojo?”

“Nah, just used the bathroom and now going back to my room”

“Why the rush? Fancy the change of scenery? I’m sure you’re sick of seeing Y/n beside you for the whole night?”

“Nah I’m good-” he replied coldly,

 he knew what she’s attempting to do, he’s aware of her feelings towards him but he clearly rejected them a long time ago but she doesn’t seem to get it, especially that it’s his fault to give her a chance to get close to him just to annoy Y/n. And now he regrets it.

But she was persistent, not planning to let go of him. As he walked pass her, she grabbed his arm and spoke,

“Come on Gojo, I thought we’re on the same team! Maybe I can distract you from what’s on your mind right now.. or Y/n is allowed to have fun with Nanami and you’re not ? let’s talk privately in my room, maybe I can help? We’re friends after all, aren’t we?” she smirked.

The thought of Y/n and Nanami together made his blood boil again, completely blinded by anger.

“Okay then, lead the way” he relented,

He knows that probably Nanami and his wife are not like what they seem, but his narcissism told him that he needs to take revenge. If his wife spends time with another man, he’ll spend time with another woman. Even though he’s the one who started this cycle in the first place. He knows its wrong, he can’t even stand Mei Mei, but for his own pride, he had to do it, even though you wouldn’t even see him with her but at least in front of himself. He wasn’t planning to do anything with Mei Mei, he was just there.

“Come in, so do you wanna drink something?”

“I’m good”

“Why do you keep pushing me away, I’m trying to help you know” she said taking off the part of the lingerie that was covering her shoulders. Now completely exposed, only in her laced silky lingerie as she took a seat on her bed.

Gojo sighed, knowing her intentions and the game she was playing. He was feeling extremely uncomfortable.

“You said you wanted to talk.. Go ahead”

“I see you’re rushing! Don’t tell me you already miss sleeping beside your wife, or let me guess! She’s not even there cuz she’s having a date with Nanami?”

“Mei Mei shut up” he said calmly.

“Why? Did it trigger you? Don’t tell me you caught feelings while she’s completely ignoring you for another man… I guess your plan to offend her didn’t work Gojo but rather made her happy to find Nanami”

“I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP” he yelled,

“NO I’M NOT GONNA SHUT UP, I’M NOT GONNA GIVE UP AND LET YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH HER”

“Do you hear yourself? What love are you talking about?”

“I know you have feeling s for Y/n Gojo! But as long as I’m in your life, I wouldn’t allow it to happen..” she paused crawling closer to him as he sat on the bed egde “You deserve someone like me Gojo, why can’t you give me a chance? Divorce with her!! Why would you wait for her curse to break, you know she’s useless either way”

“I won’t divorce her. I won’t give you a chance Mei Mei”

“You sure about that? Look at me, I have everything she doesn’t. You can do whatever you want with me, I offer you my body for tonight and for every night Gojo”

“NO! can’t you see that I don’t want you Mei Mei.. I’m not interested in touching you”

“I was the one who helped you Gojo to offend her and make her life a living hell, is this how you thank me by rejecting me?”

“I paid you for it, you’ve got the money what do you want more?”

“YOU! I LOVE YOU GOJO SATORU” she yelled, her hands reaching his private part to touch it but he slapped them away.

Without saying anything he walked towards the door to leave her room. He walked outside, but she followed him,

“Not so fast, you can’t just leave me like that-” she exclaimed desperately.

She grabbed his face and attempted to kiss him but before he could push her away, a voice spoke behind him,

“Satoru?” you said, your eyes widening.

You caught them in a very wrong time, Mei Mei was basically half naked, only in her laced lingerie that exposed her chest and barely covered her thighs and Gojo shirtless while their faces were close to each other and in front of her room. You couldn’t help but think that both of them half naked, did something very intimate; sex.

“Cheater” you mumbled and started walking away,

“Y/n wait” said Nanami, but you were already gone.

Gojo heart sank at your sight, your expressions a mixture of shock and betrayal. He watched helplessly as you turned away, your footsteps echoing in the silence that followed. It’s true he wanted revenge from the very beginning; he’s the one who asked for Mei Mei’s help. If he got caught in this situation at the beginning of your marriage he would be happiest but now? It made him more frustrated. He wanted to immediately run behind you, but he stopped himself. Why would he if both of you hate each other? You were with Nanami as well,  but he knew it wasn’t the same case. Mei Mei told you a lot of false information about her and Gojo being together and hooking up so seeing them both half naked could only mean one thing to you, that he fucked her and cheated on you.

“Fuck” he muttered under his breath.

Mei Mei smirked, seeing you like that made her happy and satisfied. Gojo rounded on her, his eyes narrowing with anger.

“You’re pathetic Mei Mei…. You’re living a false fantasy in your head and I pity you” he spat

“Aren’t you the same with Y/n? Living in your daydream about being with her while she’s out there with your colleague?” she spoke offensively.

His hands clenched into fists, his chest heavy with pent-up emotions. He was completely lost, he couldn’t understand why he felt his way, why it bothered him so much that he got caught. You were going to divorce anyway right? The realization of the consequences of his own actions hit him like a ton of bricks, but he can’t blame Mei Mei, the only one to blame is himself, he knew Mei Mei’s intentions from the beginning but he followed along, driven by his narcissism and ego, and now he’s silently paying for it.

“I don’t love you Mei Mei get that through your head, you took your money, now leave me alone-”

“You’ll regret that Gojo, you’ll regret breaking my heart”

“If there’s something to regret, is regretting involving you in the first place” he said through gritted teeth and then left.

“Don’t follow her Gojo, she clearly doesn’t wanna talk to you and she needs time now” said Nanami as Gojo walked past him.

“This will be my last warning Nanamin, stay away from my wife!” he threatened pointing his index finger at him.

“You dare to call her wife after cheating on her, your arrogance will end you someday Gojo Satoru”

“I. Didn’t. Cheat. On. Her”

“That’s not what it looks like…but you fucked up real bad”

“Mind your business” spat Satoru then left the his room.

….

You hesitated to knock on the door but you did eventually. Ain’t no way you’re spending the night with Gojo, you felt disgusted, and your heart was aching so much. Why would it hurt like this? Why would it affect you so much? You felt your inside organs sinking, as if someone got your heart in their hands and started squeezing it tightly making it bleed. Even though you were with Nanami, but both of you were respectful and didn’t cross the boundaries and most of all, fully dressed. Always eminding yourself that you’re a married woman and even if you don’t respect Gojo you still respect yourself and the others around you.  

“Y/n – sensei? Is everything okay?” said Maki as she opened the door.

Summoning your courage, you mustered the strength to voice your request,

“Could..could I spend the night here?” you asked.

“Of course sensei, come in please!”

Despite her sharp personality, Maki was always sweet and understanding towards you. She respects you a lot and over time both of you developed a good friendship even though she’s you’re student. She as well can’t stand Mei Mei and Satoru, so she knows well your struggle.

“Are you alright?” she asked worriedly,

“Mhm” you nodded

“You know if you wanna talk about it, I’m all ears!”

“You’re so sweet Maki! But I’m fine don’t worry I just don’t wanna spend the night with Satoru, you already know, haha the whole school knows that our marriage is fake so it’s kinda hard for both of us to share the room” you said trying to hide the truth that you actually caught your husband half naked with another woman.

“Is it Mei Mei? I know she always causes problems”

“Nah it has nothing to do with her” you reassured “Go back to sleep Maki, you have a long day tomorrow”

Maki moved a bit, giving you some space to lay there.

“Make yourself comfortable”  she smiled, giving you an extra blanket.

Anytime you closed your eyes, the sight of both of them creeped up in your mind, your eyes getting wet , you didn’t notice until that one single drop of tear fell on the pillow.

“No it can’t be…I hate him so much” you thought to yourself, trying to ease the heaviness you felt in your heart.

Finally, the sun rose. Announcing a new day. While Maki was asleep at night, you had a full conversation with yourself, giving yourself “the talk”. Convincing yourself that once you divorce him, things will get better and maybe you’ll meet the love of your life when you’re finally free from your curse and from him.

You headed to the common room with Maki to have breakfast, being with her while chatting about random things made your start of the day a lot better, you knew you’d find him there but you weren’t sure how to face him or repress that uncontrollable sting you felt. But your approach was to pretend, pretend as if you didn’t care, as if what happened yesterday was just a bad dream. You took a seat next to Nanami and Megumi and started munching on your food. Completely ignoring Gojo’s sad eyes that were looking your way and Mei Mei’s smirk that was directed to you. You actd as if both of them weren’t there. You enjoyed your breakfast, chitchatting with Nanami, he was as equally confused as Gojo. Didn’t you get pissed yesterday, how did you control your emotions in one night, how strong could you be. But Nanami was happy that you were doing alright, a cheater is definitely not worthy of your tears. Gojo tightened his grip around his cup, excusing himself from the table, barely finishing his food.

You spent your day teaching as usual, but having extra fun and laughing extra hard. To others it seemed real but inside it was nothing but a pretend. Laughing to not give a chance to your sorrow to take over you. Laughing and being a social butterfly, joking around with your students just to hide how empty you were feeling from the inside. The void inside of you got more bigger, and it requires more efforts to conceal it. You’ve got this, you’ve been dealing with emptiness and disappointment since a very young age, but as you got older you learned how to hide it but let it break you when you’re completely alone.

You watched as your students were gathered in the school field, chatting and having fun, a smile tugged on the corners of your mouth, having friends and enjoying your teenage years is something you never experienced but it made you happy to see others enjoy it; cousins and siblings, sharing inside jokes and discussing events that happened at school , gossiping about teachers while you sat in a corner, forced by your parents to sit with them, just so you don’t lose your social skills of being at home for your whole life. Funny how they were scared that you might lose your social skills while you already lost yourself.

And now it’s repeating itself, you’re watching your students laugh together and enjoy their time. But it’s never too late to have. You walked towards them, yes, you’ll join them and act as if you were a student, for once you wanted to experience that.

“Hey guys, watcha doing?” you said with a smile.

“Oh Sensei! We were just having fun” exclaimed Yuuji excitedly,

“Oh , mind if I join?” you asked

“You’re always welcome in the friend group sensei” said Nobara

You sat with them, joining in the fun, carrying the conversation with them. Maybe you had nothing positive out of this new life, out of this marriage but at least now you have friends; Nanami, Maki, Yujii and the other students. Funny how these young students are way mature and respectful than Gojo and Mei Mei. Proof that power isn’t everything if you can’t be a decent human being.

As you were laughing at one of Panda’s jokes, you were taken aback from a deep voice that filled the space and got you al mute instantly.

“You brats are so loud, wonder how Y/N is bearing you”

You kept looking for the voice, when Yuji slapped his face.

“Eeh apologies sensei, he likes to intervene in the most unexpected times”

“Huh?” you looked at Yuuji and you saw a mouth popping up on his cheek.

“What is that?” you asked again

“That? Tch I’m Ryomen Sukuna the king of curses”

It was the first time you see him, or only his mouth. You knew Yuuji was the vessel but you didn’t know that he could show up like that. Suddenly, tattoos started appearing on Yuuji’s face.

“Oh this can’t be any good” muttered Megumi.

You looked in disbelief, the jujutsu world is full of surprises. Scary but interesting.

“Now kids excuse us, I need to talk with Y/N alone” said Sukuna making you furrow your brows.

All of them stood their ground, ready to exorcise him if he ever touched you. You heart warmed at how they were considerate and protective over you but it made you feel weak. A teacher is the one supposed to protect the studenst and not opposite.

“I won’t let you hurt Y/n-sensei” said Megumi

“That’s okay guys! I’ll be fine” you smiled towards them “Go back to your classes, I’ll join you later”

Well you weren’t sure if you’ll join them later or not, given that Ryomen Sukuna is standing in front of you and he could snap you in half before even trying to take your last breath. But you wanted to face a real danger, you’ve never seen a curse and you had the honor to see the king of curses.

Sukuna looked at you with his red eyes and a playful smirk drawn on his face.

“So you’re the rumored to surpass me?” he started

“E-excuse me?” you said in confusion, how would you surpass the king of curses.

“Oh yeah I remember, they’re hiding a lot of things from you, a lot of information from you….but I’m not one to spoil the fun but rather run with the flow if I like it of course…so imma just say, I can’t wait for you curse to break.”

“What are you talking about? What info? And why would you wait for my curse to break?”

“To finally have the legendary duel that everyone is waiting for, including your husband”

You froze in place, as fear crept into your bones like a chill.

“There must be a mistake, what duel? I’m not even a sorcerer”

“You will be! You don’t know your potential yet, surprised that that brat Gojo Satoru hasn’t told you, he likes to spoil everything”

“So is this an indirect way to say that you can’t wait to kill me?”

“Something like that yeah”

“oh wow wonderful” you chuckled nervously, as your hands started sweating.

What a way to finish your day, by getting threatened by the king of curses himself.

As you were talking, Mei Mei interrupted you. You rolled your eyes, being threatened by Sukuna is way better than seeing her face. But you had to act cool.

“Oh look who’s here” she begun “The famous Ryomen Sukuna”

“Isn’t she scared that he might kill her?” you thought to yourself.

“I’m having a private conversation so get out of here” he spat ruthlessly

“Oh don’t worry, I have no intention in fighting you Sukuna just wanted to check up on my friend”

“Talking as if you stand a chance against me in a fight, so don’t make me say it again, piss off NOW”

“Alright, but I see that Y/n is having fun, surrounding yourself by men! Married to Gojo, hooking up with Nanami and now hitting on Ryomen Sukuna… not only a gold and power digger but also a curse digger…. Now I see why Gojo chose me- because you’re a slut”

You couldn’t take it anymore, so you slapped her as hard as you could, you hand connected with her cheek in a sharp crack. The force of the slap sent a shockwave through Mei Mei’s body, her head snapping to the side with the impact. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as she registered the sting of pain radiating from her cheek, a burning sensation that pulsed with each rapid heartbeat. As she found your eyes, she was met with a fury gaze that burned holes through her. She’s been provoking you and pushing you to the brink for days now, and you finally snapped.

Sukuna watched with amusement, you didn’t disappoint even though you’ve got 0 cursed energy. He knew you were different from the day you succeeded in landing a punch on the famous Gojo Satoru, he’s formidable enemy. But know he’s no longer interested in Gojo, his new target is you.

Mei Mei took a step closer to you but Sukuna stood in front of you,

“You dare to lay a finger on her and I’ll chop you into pieces” he threatened, his red eyes glowing .

“I know you won’t, you have a pact with Yuji and you can’t break it”

“Who said I can’t? know your place fool, I’m the king of curses”

“Ahh” she laughed in disbelief.

“Are you thick in the head or what? I SAID PISS OFF BITCH”

Mei Mei left both of you alone, walking away like a loser she is. You looked at Sukuna, he was threatening you a few minutes ago and now defending you?

“Why’d you do that? Defend me? I thought you wanted to kill me?”

“Because you’re reserved for me, no one can harm my future opponent, gotta keep you safe fpr now so I can enjoy fighting you later” he smirked.

You glared at him,

“So I’m supposed to thank you?”

“Nah you’re supposed to find out why your curse didn’t break yet, aren’t you curious?”

You were indeed curious but you had nothing you could do except waiting, you married Satoru and that’s the ultimate thing you could do. After making your vows that bond was automatically created, you knew breaking the curse takes time, but it took longer than you expected, but what can you do except waiting? So you avoided it and just let this invisible bond do its thing. Now after meeting Sukuna you were questioning if you truly wanted to become a sorcerer, since you’ll probably get killed by him.

“I’m not” you simply said and left.

“We’ll meet again Y/n, so better count your days” he teased, his devilish laughed echoeing in your ears.

…..

“Sensei are you alright?” asked Maki

“Yeah I’m fine, just had a small talk with Sukuna” you reassured them

“SENSEI” yelled Yuuji as he ran towards you.

“Yuuji-kun?”

“I’m sorry Sensei I couldn’t stop him from swapping…I’m sorry if he scared you” explained Yuuji with an apologetic expression, as he engulfed you in a hug.

“Aw, you’re the sweetest Yuuji! But no need to worry about me, I’m really fine” you smiledwidely, patting his head.

“I’m glad you’re okay!”

“Now go on to your dorms, it’s getting late”

….

You closed your room’s door, taking a heavy breath as you started changing into your pyjamas,

“And I thought my life wouldn’t get any worse”

Settling on your bed, you didn’t want to spend the night with Satoru but you had no option. You can’t spend the rest of your life in Maki’s room. As you were trying to calm yourself down from the storm that raged inside you, your stomach twisting, expecting Gojo to show up at any given moment, you grabbed your book, flipping the pages. You couldn’t concentrate or keep your focus on anything, your thoughts scrambled, too many threats, too many problems and it was already a success that you didn’t lose your shit yet. Trying your best to stay composed and to not go completely crazy on anyone who tries to talk to you.

As your eyes focused on the page in front you, words not making any sense, the door creaked open, shattering your desperate attempt of having a peaceful night. Your heart leaped into your throat, you knew he’ll join you eventually, but forseeing it didn’t make you any prepared. A wave of panic washed over you, feeling as if you were going to puke from how anxious you were. You averted your gaze back to your book, avoiding him even though you felt his eyes boring into you. You didn’t know the reason behind his intense looks and you weren’t ready to find out as well. Your jaw clenched tight as you tried to keep your emotions in check, your silence already spoke volumes.

He grabbed a t-shirt and one of his sweatpants from his wardrobe and started changing, you weren’t phased by him changing in front of you, you were actually ignoring his existence. He knew you were done with him when you didn’t yell at him for changing in front of you, for not even being bothered by his appearance. You were boiling inside, but you kept a poker face. And it broke him into pieces, it have made him loads better if you screamed and yelled at him, if you voiced your anger like you usually do, but your silence scared him for the very first time and he thought it was the end.

He joined you in bed. By his body language you could tell he was preparing to say something. He cleared his throat, hesitant to say anything, but he had to keep that cool and confident image.

“Hey about last night, just so you know I didn’t cheat on you- it’s not like what it seemed, we di-”

“I don’t wanna hear anything, I don’t wanna even hear your voice Satoru” you said coldly

“I’m not dying to express myself but I don’t like it when someone msiun-”

“THEN SHUT UP” you snapped out of frustration

“W-what?”

“Idon’t wanna hear any more lies Satoru, you can fuck her as much as you want you, it’s not phasing me at all”

“Then why did it bother you like that to the point that ran away-”

“Because I’m disgusted of you” you said through gritted teeth throwing away your book on the floor

He didn’t say anything, but looked at you with wide eyes as you threw a tantrum.

“Why’d you insist that I’m a cheater huh? Because I’m not! She pushed herself on me! It was just a wrong timing”

“I.Don’t.Care!” you said as you left the bed

“Yeah clearly, you don’t care about anyone except yourself” now he started attacking you,

“WHAT?”

He took a step closer to you, his hand grabbing your wrist forcefully, pulling you towards him,

“I said you only care about yourself! You see what you want to see, you understand what you want to understand, you don’t even try to connect with people on a deeper level because you’re empty and you hate it, because you know once they get to know you they’ll find nothing from the inside”

He did strike a sensitive nerve, and hit a sensitive spot in you, using your trauma against you is a terrible thing to do, such a cowardice. It’s like voicing his own trauma but using it to insult you.

“You don’t have any right to say this, you don’t even know me!”

“And you don’t have any right to call me a cheater, you don’t even know me!”

“All I know is that you’re broken, alone and desperate…hiding behind power but the night exposes you, you nightmares humble you-”

“If you say any other word, you’ll regret it Y/N”

“Yeah threaten me all you like, I’m going to die anyway” you said the last sentence as a whisper but he heard it.

It pissed him off, how you caught all vulnerable, he hated to admit how his nightmares scared him, how they haunted him for years but you simply used them against him. He took a step closer to you,

“I pity you Y/n, you dare to speak nonsense because your entire life is nonsense itself.. Yeah that must be hard for you, being ignored by your parents and family, of course you’d grow up to become a disappointment, a failure. You failed your family and now you’re failing everyone around you in Jujutsu high..” he spoke,

His words like daggers that were thrown directly at your chest, you wanted to fight him back but deep down you knew every word he said was true. Your family didn’t even call to check up on you since the day you got married, as if you were a burden and finally got rid of it. They didn’t even believe that your curse would break, they had a bit of hope that Gojo would do something but definitely not you. 

You stared at him, with a smile that hid your sadness , you grabbed your jacket, and left. Closing the door behind you. He didn’t mean any word he said, he was just driven by jealousy, and you saying that him and Mei Mei didn’t bother you drove him crazy, making him think that you don’t have any feelings towards him and that you want Nanami instead.

*Timeskip to the morning*

As the morning light filtered through the big window, casting a warm glow over the breakfast table, Gojo took his seat, ignoring Mei Mei who was trying hard to get his attention. As the minutes ticked by, your absence became increasingly conspicuous, concerned whispers filled the room.

“Where’s your wife?” asked principal Yaga

Satoru’s brow furrowed in confusion,

“I thought she was here…maybe she’s in the bathroom or something” he replied, shoving food inside his mouth.

“I was in the bathroom, and she wasn’t there” said Maki

A sense of panic rippled through the group, Nanami quickly stood up from his chair and started searching in the whole school, but you were nowhere to be found. Followed by your students, principal Yaga and now Gojo whose heart started pounding as he looked for you everywhere. Only Mei Mei calmly sitting still, enjoying her food.

Once again gathered in the common room, after their failed attempt to find you, they called you multiple times but failed to reach you.

“Did something happened between you two?” asked Principal Yaga, his voice cutting through the chaos.

Satoru swallowed hard, the weight of his guilt settling heavily upon his shoulders,

“We-we had an argument last night….” He admitted “she left the room and I thought she was just going to the balcony or something…I didn’t realize she had left”

“SHE WAS YOUR FUCKING RESPONSIBILTY SATORU!!” yelled Yaga sensei

“Sensei I truly didn’t know!”

“You know that there’s a murderer on the loose that’s targeting her and you didn’t care ..”

“Wait what?” asked the students in union since they didn’t know about Toji’s plan to murder you.

“Instead of protecting her what the fuck where you doing?” asker principal Yaga once again

“He was with me!” said Mei Mei taking the last bite of her toast “Gojo was with me” she repeated

“If you dare to throw any other lie Mei Mei I swear to God I’ll kill you” threatened Gojo walking towards her but Nanami stopped him.

“Don’t blame others for your own mistakes Gojo “ she said offensively

As they were fighting, trying to have a plan on how to find you, Gojo received a text on his phone, that got his eyes widen in fear,

[Gojo Satoru, I wanted to inform you that your wife is with me, I don’t think you care that much , but so you can save yourself and energy from the hassle of searching that the higher ups would put you through – Toji Fushiguro]

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